All Fantasy Everything - Video Games (w/ Kumail Nanjiani and Ron Funches)

Episode Date: November 17, 2016

On the 10th episode, we grab a two liter bottle of Mt. Dew, order a pizza and draft the greatest video games of all time. For this momentous draft, host Ian Karmel is joined by comedians Kumail Nanjiani (Silicon Valley, The Meltdown and Ron Funches (Undatable, @Midnight.) See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything. I am your host, Ian Carmel, and today we are drafting video games. To help me get through this today, I'm so intimidated. I feel like I'm embarrassing myself. Why are you intimidated by Fred? Actually, intimidated isn't the right word. Well, why is Ron already making the wrap it up gesture? No, I was just

shutting down my phone. And so I was like, oh, don't get a text come through. I didn't want to. And it worked. It was kind of an awesome thing I realized, it looked like rap. And like, all right, buddy. It was kind of an awesome thing.

Yeah, it was so funny. It was like, welcome to the podcast, Tommy and Carmel, wrap it up. Enough. Enough. Okay, you want to get right to it?

Okay. I listened, I tried to listen to your podcast and couldn't get through the intro. Yeah. Intimidated wasn't the right word, but you were doing the wrap-up thing. I made eye contact with you, Kamel, and there was an arched eyebrow situation. Well, I'm just a little bit.

I got my shit up right now a little bit. You do? Your haunches are up. Yeah. You want to get your team together, or are you just talking about in general? Oh, just in life, I'm engaged. You're ready for conflict at any life. I'm like engaged. You're ready for conflict at any turn.

I'm ready to grab shit by the horns. I'm going to shout cuck at you 45 to 50 times during this podcast. Yeah, it just makes me stronger. Just so you're going to go super saiyan at some point. We're drafting video games. And to help us draft video games today on the All Fantasy Everything podcast, we have Ron Funches and Kamail Nanjiani. How are you guys?

Thank you for joining us. How are you guys doing today? I'm good. Beautiful. Nobody yelled anything at me in a little while, so I'm good. It happens. I'm great, too. You're fantastic.

Kamail's in here wearing the LeBron James Ultimate Warrior t-shirt. Yeah. Looking like a million bucks. Just to paint a picture for the listeners, Funches and a Bridget Mendler Is this promoting her album? What is this? Promoting her single Atlantis. Atlantis. I feel like she has a couple more singles out now, but I haven't received the shirts

for those. Love Sleeps With The Fishes. Does every single come with a shirt? You have to now. You've got to make money every way you can. You've got to have a memory stick that your album comes on. And then people can erase the album and use it for other things too. You've got to make money every way you can.

For those of you who don't know, Ron Funches, wonderful stand-up comedian on the late show Undateable. On Powers coming up on. Powerless. Powerless. My bad.

Powers of the game. Powerless on what is it? On NBC. On the National Broadcasting Corporation. And then the Trolls movie. And the Trolls movie, which was either number one or number two at the box office, right? Yeah. Yeah.

It was either number. I mean, either us or Doctor Strange. I don't remember which one. Yeah. It was one or two. I do. I remember. I don't think you do. It was either us or Doctor Strange. I don't remember which one. Yeah, it was one or two. I do. I remember. I don't think you do. It was Doctor Strange. It's impossible. I mean, the poll numbers were rigged. Who's to say? Math. Numbers. Facts.

I feel like mostly a lot of people were like, I'm going to go with Trolls. I've been hearing a lot of people say Trolls is number one. No, I wanted Doctor Strange to be number one so bad. I wanted to see Trolls, but I bought a ticket to Doctor Strange. You can see Ron Fudgees or hear Ron Funches in Trolls right now. And yeah, anything else to shout out? At Ron Funches on Twitter?

Yeah. Ron Funches on Instagram? Yeah. Are you on Snapchat in case anyone wants to send you breasts? No, I don't want to use that anymore because I feel like everybody's on it. So now I'm like, you don't get to see my life. I like that, yeah. No more peaks behind the veil.

The veil has not been lifted. It's been let back down. Yeah. So don't even try to get at Funches on Snapchat. Nope. Or Instagram stories or any of that stuff. You will see what you're allowed to see and nothing more. Yeah. He is a heavily curated public persona. Exactly. Nope. Or Instagram stories or any of that stuff. You will see what you're allowed to see and nothing more.

Yeah. He has a heavily curated public persona. Exactly. Much like Beyonce's public persona. Everything's very controlled and you keep the footage too. Absolutely. You know that about Beyonce? Any interview, she also gets the footage.

So she has the raw stuff. So if you edit it to make her look bad, she can put out the raw footage. That's a smart move. It's a smart move. Add that in. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I get the full unedited version of this podcast before you put it out? No.

Okay. That's fine. No, I'll send it to you. I'll send it to you. In fact, it won't be edited at all because I don't know how to do that. Yeah. So all this is in. All this is in. This is Kamail Nanjiani, another wonderful stand-up comedian.

You know him from Silicon Valley. You know him as one of the co-hosts of Meltdown, which is no longer a stand-up show, but is still for one more episode of television show. Yeah, there's a couple episodes left. The heart and soul of the West Coast stand-up comedy community. I will call Meltdown for the last five or six years, and now there's no soul. What is now? Is it a hot tub? Yeah.

I told Kurt that we were going to have everyone promise on the last show that nobody there would ever go to a hot tub. Comedy is dying with us. It's all over. There's not another show that's moved in and like that time in the time slot right no not yet but they'll they'll have something but hot tub is a really great show with uh kirk brownler kristen shaw and then but you know it's different crowds it's weird when i would go to hot tub yeah the people there only go to that show they do it's like their one thing that they go to. They're Kristen fans.

Either show Good Looks, which is like a crowd that seems to be only brought in by Andrew Machan and his weird LA hipster connections. They are all vampires. They are all the very skinny gaunt, beautiful people. Vampires need to get entertained too, and they will

come out at night. It's perfect for them. Count Choculus. It is the perfect activity for a young vampire couple yeah they get breakfast and just see comedy absolutely they wear japanese linen shirts and yeah wake up wake up early yeah i'm just gonna pitch it to all young vampires yeah who are listening to your podcast wake up early. Get some breakfast. Yeah. Get up at 8 p.m. Get some breakfast. Go to a comedy show. I bet vampires are so excited about McDonald's

serving breakfast all day. Absolutely. Because they could never eat it. It was just Jack in the Box. They would always get quiet and sullen every time a McMuffin was brought up. Justifying like it probably has garlic in it anyway. Yeah, I heard

it's not that good, actually. All sour grapes, like, no, it's really good. No, it's bad for you. Here, trans fats. They throw buzzwords around. They love trans fats. Transylvanian fats. Wow. That's their favorite blues musician.

Transylvanian fats. Transylvanian fats also sounds's their favorite blues musician. Oh, my God. Transylvanian Fats. Wow. Yeah. Transylvanian Fats also sounds like a white blues musician. Transylvanian Fats. Well, we should do what we came here to do. Ain't that right, Boo? Yeah, let's do it.

True. We are going to be drafting video games. Video games from all time today. And another reason you guys are both gigantic video game fans. Kamail, the Indoor Kids is no longer a podcast, but for the longest time you had a podcast about video games. I will say it's on hiatus. My wife, Emily Gordon, and I have a podcast about the Indoor Kids that's been on hiatus for about a year. Okay. Yeah.

It's kind of the Curb Your Enthusiasm model. You might bring it back. Yeah. And then The X-Files Files, which was my podcast about The X-Files,

that's been on hiatus for about a year as well. Yeah. I'm just sort of like pruning. I went through a pruning phase last year.

Absolutely. You have to let the land lie fallow. I just want to be on Twitter. That's all I want now. Not even the shows and the stand-up. I don't want to be on shows. I's all I want now. Not even the shows and the stand-up. I don't want to be on shows.

I don't want to do stand-up. I want to manufacture events that happen and tweet about them. We can admit now that you've gotten a week's worth of buzz out of it. That you made it up. That whole cuck thing never really happened, right? The thing is I can't even joke and say it didn't happen because there are already so many people that are like, he made it up. Are people on Twitter saying you made that up? Well, yeah.

Not the majority of people, but there are people. The thing I've seen online is that everybody's been real civil and nice during this whole time period. So I think you're totally making it up. Oh, right. And now you think I'm making it up that people are saying I'm making it up also. Oh, yeah. I mean, I think everybody's just like, Camille's great and he's chill.

That's all I hear on the streets. And then you're just like, let me see how I can line my pockets. I wouldn't put anything past you. Sneaky, greasy, liberal fingers. Controversy that makes you coin. Oh, coin-troversy. Coin-troversy.

Fantastic. We should get that printed on the back of a satin jacket for you. With the cent sign as the C. Yeah, exactly. You don't see that as much anymore. There's no rappers with the cent sign in their name. Yeah, nobody wants to grind anymore. Everybody just wants the dollars.

Plenty of rappers with the dollar sign. It used to be about the hustle, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wasn't it about the hustle? You couldn't knock it. It was all about the hustle. Yeah. And now it's all just about putting dollar signs.

We'll probably get somebody with a euro symbol in their name at some point, but never the little coin symbol. Those days are gone, guys. Those days are gone, guys. Well, let's determine the order of the draft. And the way we determine it every time is the two of you will play one game, one of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Not best out of three. Is it one, two, three, shoot? One, two, three, shoot.

I've already decided what I'm going to pull. Yeah, me too. Okay. All right. Let's do it. All right. Here we go. One, two, three.

Ooh, double scissors. Double scissors All right, here we go. One, two, three. Ooh, double scissors! Double scissors! Double scissors! Double scissors! Double scissors! That sounds like a very specific U-Porn category. Double scissors! That's four sisters. Yeah, that's four sisters.

All right, since you guys tied, we're not going to do the draft. Okay, game cut. Okay, all right, that's the end of the podcast. All right, now, round tied, we're not going to do the draft. Okay, game cut. Okay, all right, that's the end of the podcast. All right, now, round two. Here we go. Oh, double papers! Ah, Kamel finally won with a rock over Ron Funches' scissors, and now it is upon you to determine the order of the draft.

You know what? I'll go third. You're going to go third? Yeah. And who would you like to go second? Ian, I want you to go first. I'll go first. I'm going to lead us off, which means Ron Funches is drafting second. So, Wythe, you don't like

second. Is that bad? I mean, we'll see. We'll see what Ian goes with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, well, with the very first pick of the All Fantasy Everything video game draft, I am taking Zelda the Ocarina of Time. Oh, okay. Okay. That sucks.

It's worth it. That definitely cancels out one of mine. Yeah. Yeah. That's the game, baby. It's a great game. That sucks. That's the catchphrase I'm trying to get going is that's the game, baby.

And it was a sure thing. It was on my list. For sure. It was on everybody's baby. It's a great game. That's the catchphrase I'm trying to get going. And it was a sure thing. It was on my list. It was on everybody's list. It's on everybody listening's list. It's one of the greatest games of all time. Now, I've never played it, but I saw that on the IGN list. No, I'm just joking. Mine was, I was going to have Link to the Past on there. Oh, yeah.

You can still pick that. No, but I'm not going to. Oh, the whole thing's been tainted. Yeah. Yeah, just because I took one of the Zeldas. Yeah. So this is like if I had dated a woman and then you got to know her, assuming you weren't married, you would not date her after me. Or like her relatives. Or anyone even related to her. Anyone in her family tree.

Yeah, I like that. Anyone with that first name. It's hard not to be offended by that. Even Zelda Fitzgerald. If you were to travel back in time. Nope, she's not on my list. That crazy flapper. Yeah. Even Zelda Fitzgerald, if you were to travel back in time. Nope, she's not on my app. That crazy flapper. Yeah.

And Zelda Rubinstein, too. Who's Zelda Rubinstein? Zelda Rubinstein was a little, I don't know if she was a little person, but she was a shorter lady. Okay. Who was, if you saw her, you'd be like, oh, that lady, she's in a ton of TV shows. I don't want to say strange, but she had a voice that was unique to her. Talk about Zelda. All right, great.

Let's get into it. But definitely look up Zelda Rubinstein as an accompaniment to this podcast. I loved it. I mean it came out right when I was like really – when I was like an awkward sort of pre-teenager when you needed video games the most. Not that I don't need them now, but like it was a game that you could like fall into completely. The graphics were great for the time and like not great in the way that a lot of video game graphics tried to be where like people would have horrifying faces. You know, like horrifying like polygon faces. Yeah, this was a cartoony take.

It was cartoony. Yeah, they like leaned into – They really embraced what the restrictions were and made it an advantage rather than a restriction. The game was so fun. The soundtrack was so amazing. Zelda always has good music. I still start a lot of my emails or texts or tweets with, hey, listen.

And then I'm like, I don't know if anyone else hears it. Every time I go, I know what I'm hearing. Yeah, yeah. From the game itself. I mean, it was a game centered around an ocarina. You know, you still had a sword, but it was amazing that your most powerful weapon was a rock with holes drilled into it. It was definitely the only, the first game to have, to be centered around an ocarina.

I think so. And probably the, I don't think there's been a game since that has really featured an ocarina that heavily. It's definitely a hole in the market. No, not that heavily. Yeah, there may have been ocarina... I think Rock Band eventually added an ocarina to it. Rock Arena, yeah.

Yeah, Rock Arena. I just love... When you got the horse in the game? Oh, yeah. Remember when you first got the horse? Epona? Is that the horse's name? I think it's Epona. Epona, yeah.

Is it Epona? Yeah. Okay. I don't know how to pronounce it. Either one could be prior. It's whatever you want it to be because it's a video game and your story. It exists only in your brain and your heart. Yeah.

When I first got it, because I didn't, it was a game. Now, like when a new game comes out, you'll read a review of it or even just on Twitter, you'll find out what like the cool twists and turns in that game are. Yeah. You didn't know, especially that fucking. You can cost. Yeah. Water Temple.

Yes. You're like, oh, what? I got to go get a Prima Guide now. Right. Because I can't figure this out. It wasn't Prima Guide. That fucking Water Temple was so hard. I almost, I probably. I may have destroyed.

I was definitely into destroying controllers. The bottle switching glitch. Do you know about that? No, I don't know the bottle switching glitch. You could turn any item that you didn't want into a bottle. Yes. I did not know that. Was it in the Water Temple?

No. Was it in the Prima Guide? I forgot what you had to do, but you just had to, I think you had to switch your grappling hook and the item that you didn't want. You had to have a, because you know you had to have the three items. You had to have like the item that you didn't want, a bottle, and a grappling hook. So you start with your bottle, switch really quick to the item that you didn't want as you were trying to grab a fairy, and it would turn that item into a bottle.

Oh, very dumb. I didn't know that. I haven't gone back and played Ocarina of Time. Have you guys played the Zelda games since then? Have you played Wind Waker? I played Wind Waker, and then not any of the ones since that. How's Wind Waker? Wind Waker is one of my favorite games. It was

one of the games that I was playing while my son was waiting for my son to be born. It was right around that time. So I named it after him. It was really fun. So it was just a real personal thing for me. And I was like, he can never die. And I made it through without him dying.

So it was great. So that and Metroid Prime were games that I played a lot before he was born. So I love the Wind Waker. I love that art style. I love the cartoony style. Oh, yeah. And then what's been the newest? The next one comes out next year.

That looks great. But what was the one after Wind Waker? The Skyward Sword? There was Skyward Sword, and there was the Twilight Princess. Yeah. I haven't played those. I haven't either. They're okay, but they don't hit the heights.

Ocarina of Time had such a high standard. Yeah, and plus they were always tied to the wii remote which i felt was yeah yeah to the what to the wii mode oh yeah so there was like you do your sword gestures with like it and everything yeah i i tried skyward sword and uh it was the the sword gestures that took me out i never bought into the wii as a concept i get like I like that they were experimenting and trying to do cool stuff, but I do video games so I don't have to get up and move around and stuff like that. Well, I do love virtual reality. I have a Vive now, and I'm loving it.

Oh, I can't. I'm terrified of that. Even Stoned, do you love it? I love it more. Even more Stoned? Even Stoned? I know. What video game is worse when you're stoned?

Anything scary. Anything scary. Anything scary. Oh, really? Yeah. There's some scary games, too. Yeah, well, we'll talk about scary games, hopefully. We will. We will.

Ron, you got it? I'm ready to draft. I'm ready. I'm so happy. All right, fantastic. So that was the first pick, Ocarina of Time. Ron Funches, you have the second pick of the first round, your first pick. I'm happy that I get to still draft my favorite game of all time.

pick of the first round. Your first pick. I'm happy that I get to still draft my favorite game of all time. With the second pick in the video game draft, I select Super Mario 3. Oh, yes. Alright, alright. My favorite game of all time. It's a game that I completed when I was a kid.

And then also as an adult on the Game Boy Advance. It's one of the few games where I've beaten every level. Every single level, like even when you know, because you can skip levels. Yeah, with the flutes? Yeah, whistles. And then just like different things that'll let you skip, and I've gone through and beaten

every single level. It holds up to me 100%. It's my favorite Mario Brothers game, and I guess, I mean, the Tanooki suit, jumping around in a boot, Giant World, I feel like, because I'm assuming, like, and also, the Tanooki suit, jumping around in a boot, giant world. I feel like, because I'm assuming, like, and also I have questions about the draft. Like, are online capabilities, are they still available?

Is this like a desert island situation? Online capability is still available. Yeah, absolutely. Every part of the game is in play. But also, like, I will never be able to play any other games besides these five games that I'm picking. I mean, we can say that's true but that's not the desert island thing right it's not a desert island thing

you're just making a list I'm putting more into it it's just your five versus our five I still feel like I got a solid pick right here with Super Mario 3 that's great are you asking that because it's your favorite of the three Marios so that it incorporates all the best things about...

I feel like it was the tightest game to find. Super Mario World is amazing, too. Super Mario World is amazing. It's amazing, and I feel like if I was a little younger, then maybe that one would have been for me. But as far as my age, and when it just blew my mind, was the jump from Super Mario... I mean, you think about Mario 1.

Yes. And you think about Mario 3, and the fact that they're on the same system. That is crazy. Yeah. It was such a beautiful game. More so than the first Mario, it really set the tone for what Nintendo was going to be. And that was, I mean, all the warp stuff was really mind-blowing. And The Wizard, did you guys see that?

That movie launched the game. You'd see that movie and you'd be like, what the fuck is this? All the warp zones and stuff. It was so really kind of groundbreaking. Absolutely. Yeah. I don't know if it made the world feel small or big, but those games back then made it feel different. Maybe it was just that we were kids, but it felt so momentous when those games came out.

When Mario 3 came out, that was one of the biggest things in your life. When games only came out during the holiday season. They didn't come out during the spring and summer like they do now. And so you had been playing the same game, playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But it was still fun. And then like, oh, finally, Super Mario 3 is out. I can play it. That's when

delays really broke your soul. I remember crying over some video games. Oh, you were like so plugged in. You knew exactly when games were coming out months before. I had my GamePro subscription. That's what it was all about. I was waiting to see. I was like, better get a Fun Factory 5.

What was your favorite Mario outfit out of Mario 3? Tanooki suit? Tanooki. It's got to be Tanooki suit. It's the best. I mean, the frog suit is cute as fuck. Absolutely adorable. It's a cute game, but the Tanooki suit is...

You could fly as Mario. You could fly. I mean, that was crazy. Jumping in a boot. Jumping in a boot. Jumping in a boot. Yeah. Why? Why is there a mechanical boot controlled by a propeller?

I don't know. Oh, my God. Yeah. It was, it was, oh, what was it? There was something I wanted to say about Mario, and now I can't remember. I think of all the franchises in video game history, Mario has the best hit-to-miss ratio. There has not been a bad Mario game. Especially across the board.

We talk about his other items and his racing and his forays into boxing referees. Oh, and Luigi's. I like the haunted mansion. The Luigi's Mansion games. I like those. It is amazing the variety of different Mario games. The Nintendo is just like, you're a star. Mario is almost like an A-list actor as far as Nintendo is concerned.

Oh, yeah, he could do every genre. Yeah, he could do every – Totally, yeah. All right, this one, yeah. Rom-coms, action movies, fucking period dramas. Medical dramas. There was Mario in time. I remember loving that game where it was like Mario going through –

for some reason he was part of the Earth's actual timeline. You know, like he would go back. Right? Wasn't that a good? Luigi got kidnapped. Yeah. You had to chase him throughout time to get him back. It's a simple story.

Paper Mario. Paper Mario's great. Yeah, Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door. It's one of my favorite RPGs. Weird thing about the Tanooki suit, because Mario 3, I mean, it's a game for everybody, but it's a game for kids. The Tanooki, like in Japan, is like a raccoon-type creature with gigantic testicles. It's a real thing? It's not a real thing.

It's a mythological creature? I like that their mythological thing is just something that's real but with much bigger balls. But with huge nuts. That's like literally it. I think that's great. It's just like a small raccoon with giant testicles.

We have this mythical creature. It's a common house cat but its balls are huge. It's just huge balls. Wow, how did you come up with that? So genius. It is a little bit more,

at least they're more like direct and blunt than the West was with the unicorn, you know, where it was like this is a horse with a dick on its forehead. A horse with a little bit more, at least they're more direct and blunt than the West was with the unicorn. Where it was like, this is a horse with a dick on its forehead. A horse with a dildo, yeah. But they had to be sort of Christian about it. And the East, it's got

huge nuts. We're right at it. There's no innuendo. Fuck the shit out of you. It's sort of a fuck raccoon. You can't tie this raccoon down. The dick wasn't any bigger. It's just huge nuts. And it just made his dick look smaller because the nuts are so big.

If anything, and a creature known for being sort of swift and sneaky, it's dragging these huge nuts around. It's really not, like, scarier. I know that bird. No. It's really not scary. I know that burden. No. Ron Funches, a man of gigantic testicles.

All right. Should I go? We should. So pick number two, Ron Funches took Super Mario 3. You don't want to touch that. It's time for your first pick. And then am I going to do two back to back? Yeah.

You're going to do the final pick of the first round and the first pick of the second round. All right. So this makes it easy for me. I'm picking Street Fighter 2. Woo, yes. Because I used to go to the arcade. And when that game came out, nobody played any other game. Everybody was always huddled around Street Fighter 2.

You got your turn. You got beat by the fucking best guy, and it fucking sucked. And then it came out on the Super Nintendo, and it was just like the arcade. And it was the first time I remember having a video game where what you did didn't exactly correspond with what happened. So the fireball motion and something – you do down, right, punch, and a fireball comes out. Usually it was like you go forward, you press forward, you go forward. And the other game you duck, move forward, and throw a punch. This was like sort of non-intuitive, but also so intuitive.

And when my cousin and I got the game on a Super Nintendo, we didn't know any of the moves. So it was just like fireballs would come out. know any of the moves so it would just like fireballs would come out so we thought you did a fireball by hitting down kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick forward and then punch so our games would just be us furthest away from each other both crouching and kicking and then whoever could like go to the punch first street fighter 2 for you some sort of weird wizard battle. Yeah. Oh, totally. Get enough power through the kick. Yeah. Build up your chi.

The kick woke up ancestral ghosts, which would then grant you the power to throw a fireball. Yeah. And Chun-Li's panties, man. Oh, there was nothing better. Very important. Very important to young men. Very important. And to certain young women. Yeah, absolute.

Very important. And I think, you know, and then, so I like that. I like the championship, the turbo. I think there would be no Mortal Kombat if it wasn't for Street Fighter 2. There would be no Injustice. There would be, you know, it kept the fighting game genre alive for years and years. And then it brought it back with Street Fighter 4. Yeah.

Which I thought was great. I got 5. Not that great. Did not get into it. Yeah. And it bummed me out, but 4 was fucking awesome. There was something nice about how, because now when fighting games come out,

they have to have more and more characters. Even a new Street Fighter comes out, it's got the original ones, and they've added all these other ones. And you want that, because you want more people. But when Street Fighter comes out. It's got like the original ones and they've added all these other ones. And you want that because you want more people. But like when Street Fighter 2 first came out, you didn't know what was lying ahead. No. So it was like nice because you didn't know you were being deprived of extra characters.

Yeah. And there was something nice about that, having like this tighter, smaller cast of people. Yeah. Eight was a lot. And the graphics were unbelievable. You had so many to learn. What were you? Were you a circle character? Were you a circle character?

Were you a charge character? If you were a charge character, I'm not even picking you, basically. Yeah. So it was mostly just me being Ken. Yeah, you were a Ken. You fought as Ken. I'm a Ken guy because I love me because I like that balance across the board, but I love that American flavor and style that he made.

Yeah, absolutely. A little swagger to him. They're right, he didn't. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. A little swagger to him. They're right, he didn't. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, totally. I, you know, I decided I would be good at Blanca, get good at Blanca, and then I was really good at Blanca. And even on Street Fighter IV, Blanca was my dude, and I got, like, really good at him,

even though the fireball motion is easier than the charge motion. But I always loved Blanca, and then I got into Sagat real hardcore. Big into Sagat. I liked Sagat. I was a Blanca guy, and then I also liked... Oh, God. I just had his name. The big Russian guy. Zangief. Zangief, yeah. His name just escaped

me. Yeah, I love Zangief. The outfits that some of those guys... Zangief's outfit is insane. He looks like a gay caricature. He looks like that artist. He's like a bear, yeah. Yeah, he's like all muscular and hairy and wearing like very tight kind of like boy shorts. He's a daddy.

He's a daddy. He's a total daddy. And then when I got my first job in the biz was I got – I started writing for a show called michael and michael of issues oh yeah i just got my first paycheck and i was like i'm not gonna i'm gonna save my money i'm not gonna waste i'm gonna be good and then we were at a best buy and i saw the fight pad controller that had blank on it and i was like oh my god and emily like, you gotta get it. It's your first paycheck. That's fantastic. Yeah.

So Street Fighter 2. Street Fighter 2 is an excellent pick. What did you prefer? Did you prefer it in the arcades or once you got it at home? Did you go back to the arcades? No. Once I got it at home, to me, there was no difference. It was such a great... It was one of the first great arcade ports

that was the same at home as it was at the arcade. The Super Nintendo was getting strong enough to the point where those games looked the same. The Ninja Turtles game was a really good port. But Street Fighter II, I remember being like, I didn't think that we could play this kind of game at home. And I played that game a lot. There was no temptation to go back to the arcade and find that guy.

Because how did that guy get so good at Street Fighter II? You know, like the guy who would dominate it? Oh, yeah. Yeah. By just being there all the time and having a bad home life. I guess that's what it was. You need an escape. He had an awful stepfather, and thus he became the best tree fighter too

totally that's your next pick yeah alright that concludes the first round you now have the first pick of the second round

alright I'm gonna cheat a little bit I always have the second pick of every round you do nice yeah I'm gonna cheat a little bit

because I played this game on the Xbox okay and it had come out on the PlayStation first. I think it was PlayStation 2. Yeah. But when it came out on the Xbox,

they came together, which is GTA, Vice City, and Grand Theft Auto 3. They came out together. If you're going to make me pick one, I'm going to pick Vice City because I think that Grand Theft Auto changed video games and they all became open world games. Absolutely. And they're still like that.

Everything is sandbox. Still, they changed everything. Like Forza, which I'm playing right now, that's sandbox. Everything's an open sandbox. And just the feeling of driving a car and sunglasses at night comes on. Oh, it's so good. So fucking cool. That 80s vibe was amazing in that game.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that they should do a sequel because the next one will be GTA 6, which is VI, Vice City. Oh, yeah. I think they got to do Vice City again. Go back to Miami in the 80s. Yeah, go back or do 80s anywhere. But I

love the TV show Miami Vice too. So for me, like, Vice City was the fucking best. Did you dress your guy up like Tubbs and Crockett? Yeah, of course. Yeah, running around chainsawing people with a star face. Did you play that one? Yeah. Vice City's probably, it's not my favorite

of the Grand Theft Autos. Mine would be San Andreas because of the obvious reasons of being a young black youth. I relate to this one a lot more. See, that's the thing. I was never a young black youth. You never were. But I was a young, hip, white man at one point. I'm currently entering my young black youth phase.

So, yeah, I end up playing a lot more San Andreas right now. I buy that. That game, it's – I mean Vice City, we don't want to talk about San Andreas yet just in case it gets picked. But yeah, Vice City was amazing. And the departure, I mean if you're taking three as well from what Grand Theft Auto used to be. Oh my god. What a huge leap forward. Who would have thunk?

It's crazy. It's crazy. What did you do? There's nothing else like it. I can't even think of anything else. It's like if all of a sudden there was like a Big Bang Theory movie and it was like Oscar winning. Yeah. Exactly.

Like did you guys have this in school where like, you know, like in high school you go off to summer. And then when you come back, there's one kid who got super yoked and handsome over the summer. And you're like, what happened to you? You were like this tiny little nerd, and in three months, that's what happened to Grand Theft Auto. It fully did, because it was kind of like a fun time waster before that. Yeah, like did you get into the Captain America machine? Like what happened to you? I do have a question to the commissioner.

Was he allowed to pick his double pack? I'm not going to allow the double pack. All right, I'll go Vice City. Yeah, we're just going to make it Vice City. So you don't quite get that leap forward, but it represented even another leap forward, because three was... Well, I don't remember.

It was one of the first games where the music was actual music that you knew and that tried to evoke our time and place in a very specific way. Usually video games created their own world, and that tried to evoke a time and place in a very specific way. Like usually video games created their own world and that was the feeling of it. This is the first time I remember a video game trying to create a feeling, a time and place that had like existed in pop culture in other contexts. Yeah, and they did.

And it kind of like set the bar. You know, in GTA 3, you were doing like some Goodf GTA 3, you were doing some good fellow missions, and you were doing some godfather missions and stuff like that. But Vice City was so evocative. I mean, pretty much just Miami Vice. The colors were great. And Scarface. They looked fucking good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the soundtrack was so good. Yeah, and the missions were so fun. It's just an amazing game, and it was a great pick. I remember going into like, wasn't there like a nightclub in it? Mm-hmm. Where you had to go kill people in that nightclub. It's almost weird to talk about those things with nostalgia.

So many ugly, ugly prostitutes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, before you could have sex. You could have sex in the video game. Yeah. Yeah. All right, Ron. You got one?

GTA Vice City. Yeah. I'm going to pick this one. I'm going off of my list. Okay. And going on because I want my group of, I'm hoping to assemble a group that just has a vast range of genres and then also has multiplayer,

maybe some online. And so this game to me is my favorite game to probably play one-on-one with a person. And I'm going to go with the NBA Jam Tournament. Oh, fuck you! It's downstairs, by the way,

right now. That's why it got me on my list. I was literally going to take that next. You could play it. Oh, I wanted it so bad. Bill Clinton? Yeah, exactly. And just the games were so close. I mean, we know we had that.

And that's why I want the tournament edition, because I don't like that rubber band AI. Yeah. It was just so much fun and pure, like just having the one-on-one. sometimes four yeah it was awesome just playing it i remember playing it at bridgetown exactly and shout out to ground control yeah in portland oregon it's just it's gonna it wasn't on when i got here today it wasn't on the list but it's coming in at my number two pick because i feel like it'll help complete my team.

I should have put a sheet over it downstairs. Some of my fondest memories of Bridgetown aren't even shows or anything like that. It's being a little bit hungover, eating pizza, and then getting into really intense two-on-two NBA Jam games. Oh, yeah. I beat Double Dragon there. Yeah. And I played – they have the Ninja Turtles game, right? Yeah, yeah. I beat Double Dragon there. Yeah. And I played... They have the Ninja Turtles game, right?

Yeah, yeah. And they have the Simpsons one, too. They have the Simpsons one. The Simpsons arcade game, which I've still never beat. The NBA... Who's your favorite team to pick on? Was it Chicago? Bulls.

Bulls. Yeah, of course. But if you're asking me to leave out a side of my hometown bias, I love the Supersonics playing against Kemp and Payton. Who was it, Gary Payton? Gary Payton and Sean Kemp. Yeah, Rain Man. Yes, the Rain Man, yeah, absolutely.

They were my favorite combo. I mean, I even loved playing as Detlef Schrempf. He was great. I love Schrempf. Detlef Schrempf. Mm-hmm, raining threes on people. And playing as the New Orleans Hornets mascot. I love that.

Yeah. That was fun. It was so much fun. I loved being, well, it was a Charlotte, I guess, at the time. Yeah. But they had a great team, too, because that was Grandma Monzo, right? Yeah. Yeah.

God, it was so fun. They really went for, like, have it be fun. So they had the mascot stuff. Yeah. It wasn't trying to be obviously like a realist is there a sports game right now that occupies that space it's like fun not like a sim no i wish because i miss i mean another one which i don't think i'm going to take but if this was 10 rounds i would nba street which was like kind of an evolution of uh the nba jam but on

consoles it was so good. It was so much fun. That's a gap in the market, too. And I wonder why that stopped happening. Because I feel like people would still buy those games. Especially with online distribution and just being able to do it as a cheaper option. Yeah. That you would do it.

But I don't know. I think someone will find it, hopefully. I hope so. The licenses are so expensive. I don't know. I think someone will find it, hopefully. I hope so. The license is so expensive. What was the soccer one that was like a cool, like EA did like a soccer game a few years ago? I think they just had a whole street series. It was like FIFA Street. Yeah, FIFA Street.

They had a football one too, which was insane. It wasn't Blitz. It was like NFL Street. Yeah. I miss those games like Mutant League Football and stuff. I do. Where it was just like some crazy future sport. Those ones were great.

Bill Ambeer's Combat Basketball. Yeah, that was great. Was one of them. I remember. Bill Ambeer and his own video game. A great sports game that I, I mean, if it was 10 rounds maybe, but I loved was Evander Holyfield's Real Deal Box. Yeah, I love that game.

I don't know if I ever played that one. The characters were so big. I'd never seen graphics like that. And like when the characters were so big i'd never seen graphics like that and like when the guy would punch you'd see his back and he had like crazy muscles on his back oh was it that one where you were kind of almost point of view is it that one no okay there it's like sort of like street fighter right point of view yeah it's kind of like street fighter but my favorite thing about it was like it was one of the first games where it was like oh you have the box but also it's like you have a training regimen and it was it was one of the first games where it was like, oh, you have to box. But also it was like you have a training regimen. And it brought a lot of mini games in with lifting weights and things like that.

It was one of the first games that ever did that. That came from Evander himself. He was like, if I'm going to make a boxing game, we're going to tell the whole story. So we're going to be jumping rope. We're going to be boring as fuck. A lot of the things that I liked about Fight Night were first in the Thunder Holy Fields. I tried to get into Fight Night. I couldn't get into it.

I got real into Fight Night. When it came out, because if you had a 360 right when it came out, you kind of just played anything. I was like, oh, the graphics are amazing. Amazing. I remember playing Gras, playing the Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter. Oh, God, that's right. Oh, my God, dude. Yeah, I got a PS4, and I played...

What was that shooting game that was the first, like... Killzone. Yeah, Killzone. Playing fucking Killzone. The Halo killer, Killzone? Yeah. Right? Yeah. The nothing killer.

The nothing killer. Not even an afternoon killer, Killzone. Yeah. All right, Ian, what you got? All right, so NBGM Tournament Edition. Fuck, I wanted it so bad. Now, that was literally going to be my next pick. I guess I have to...

All right, I'm going to take... You get two picks now, right? I get two picks in a row. Okay. With the final pick of the second round, I'm going to take Goldeneye 007. Okay, okay, okay. On the Nintendo 64.

First time a console first-person shooter was really good. Yeah, it was really good. Yeah, it was so good. It was, I mean, this is, I think the last episode of this podcast was the 90s, and I took it in that as well. So I'm just going to talk about it again. Well, that actually brings up a point to me where I don't mean to disagree with your picks here, but I feel like it doesn't hold up. I've had conversations about this recently.

Oh, sure. I mean, I wouldn't want to play it again now, but what it meant to me in that time was, you know, there's no wrong way to do this draft. Well, Ron's trying to. Ron's trying to figure out a wrong way to do it. Yeah, I feel like replayability

is a strong one. It's going into my draft. I don't care about it at all. I'm going personal, a mix of personal and legacy. Like, what did that game do? That's why I went with GTA, because that sort of changed gaming. Street Fighter II.

I'm going with games that I would still play right now. There's no way on earth I would still play Goldeneye. In fact, if someone was like, come over, we're doing a Goldeneye party, we're going to drink, smoke some pot, I wouldn't want to go to that party. Your thumbs would hurt. My thumbs would hurt, I would be frustrated with the graphics, somebody would pick

Oddjob and I'd get on them about that. I almost put Halo on my list, because to me that was like, GoldenEye was the first first-person shooter on consoles to really work, and then Halo, every game since Halo is a version of Halo.

Yeah, they're just like slight Halo knockoffs. They all have like the two gun thing. They're regenerating shields. Yeah, that's all Halo. But I didn't pick Halo, I picked Goldeneye. I loved Goldeneye. When it came out, I remember my brother brought home Nintendo 64 with Goldeneye. I was still on the job.

I still had a Super Nintendo. And he let me play it for like 10 minutes, 15 minutes. And that's it? And that's it. And like I was like, oh, my god. It's so much future. All right. I got to go.

And I was like, no, leave it here over the weekend. He's like, I'm not leaving because he's only nine years older than me. It's not like he's a 45-year-old man. And he took it with him. Nine years is a big difference. It was a big difference but not big enough that he was like, I don't need video games this weekend. So he took it with him. He took Goldeneye.

He took the 64, and I was left sitting there planning on how I was going to fool Sue Carmel into buying me a Nintendo 64 before it was my birthday or Hanukkah. And did you get it? I did not get it. Not at all. I had to fucking settle. It was just so good.

It dominated birthday parties for three, four solid years. It was so good, it made me go to church. Yeah. Because there were church functions in my area and this dude that loved church would always be like, come to my church things. And I'd be like, no. He's like, well,

this one's having a party and there's like spaghetti and fun and golden eye on the projection screen. And I'm like, I'll go. Absolutely. Praise Jesus. What better way to celebrate Christ who is Lord than by shooting a bunch of people? Yeah. Well, they knew. They were just like,

we need to bring them in. Absolutely. Whatever will work. That guy's similar to Trump's strategy. Just tell them whatever they want to hear. We're getting political now. This is the political part of the podcast. It was just, I mean, like, nothing evokes childhood to me. Like, I mean, like eating pizza, drinking Mountain Dew.

How different is your life now? I'm sure it's not. Are you not eating pizza anymore, Ian? no no no now i'm uh now it's all like fancy italian pizzas with like buffalo mozzarella and prosciutto uh prosciutto prosciutto uh it was gabagool a little gabagool a little salam some bologna uh it's pretty much exactly the same actually so now i don't have three people hanging out. That's why we have wonderful lives. Yeah, we do have – actually, that is exactly – I mean, that's the joy of being a grown-up is you don't have to wait for Sue Carmel to buy you a video game.

No, you can go buy it for yourself. And you can just do whatever you want. So you would play – you'd get Mountain Dew, pizza. And then you'd stay up until like 3 in the morning. That's the thing that's missing and like why I don't like I enjoy doing online gaming but it's not the same as back before you knew. Oh my god. Again it was a little bit of innocence. I mean

I've been trying to bring back some of that things where people come over and trying the virtual reality out or because we've been playing this game called Keep Talking or Keep Talking and nobody explodes or keep talking something about exploding or keep talking and basically one or keep talking. Something about exploding or keep talking. And basically, one person is in the virtual reality headset

and they can look at this bomb and diffuse it with the controller. And then everybody else has this fucking 30-page manual on how to diffuse the bomb. I know what this is. So they're like, you have to talk them through diffusing this bomb. Oh my God. Yeah, and it's really, really fun. It's been like, you have to talk them through defusing this bomb. Oh, my God.

Yeah, and it's really, really fun. It's been a fun party game to play with people, and it's frustrating, and you get to learn who's good at communicating and who's not. It's really, really fun. Who you can trust. I wouldn't be surprised if that's like in job interviews in 10 years. Yeah. Where it's like, who can you trust in a crisis? Who can like stay calm and talk you through something?

I'm good at it because of being a dad. Yeah. Because people tell me the wrong thing and I don't freak out. I just go like, okay, you were wrong. Yeah, not quite. Let's try it again. Has that been the most fulfilling thing about being a dad? Yeah.

It's like getting better at video games. Absolutely. That and the 20 minutes of material that he's given me. It's some good material, though. That was in the first Conan set. It was dad's stuff, I think, right? Yeah, and also when he reads. Yeah. Is it really cute?

Because he's in school now. Oh, that does sound cute. Yeah, he's reading about the science project. Oh, you're so cute. Is there a virtual reality way to recapture that too? What is Job Simulator?

We've been playing a lot of that. What is Job Simulator? It's basically making fun of a human's existence. You play a bunch of mundane jobs and you get all these weird tasks while the robot's basically making fun of you

for playing this game about doing jobs so it's real silly but it's fun you can eat a hot dog oh okay good because that's got that's gone out of our lives completely almost at this point i have not had a hot dog in generations i have have had. I think I was in Philadelphia the last time I had a hot dog. I was in Copenhagen, Denmark trying one of their sausages. Because they were like, this is what they have here. And then I realized, you know what? No matter where they are, I guess I just don't like sausages. Yeah, I don't like them.

I like sausages. I do. I don't even count sausages as hot dogs. Personally. Oh, you're like, oh, I'm having. I do. I don't even count sausages as hot dogs personally. Oh, you're like, oh, I'm having tons of sausages. I'm having sausage all the time. I might have sausage tonight. I'll definitely have sausage this week. You guys don't like sausage?

What is it? Is it the fact that it's like cased in an intestine? Yes. Yeah. I mean, that would be. That's a strong start. Yeah, that's like one of the top five reasons I find that. You have intestines in your body already.

You know what I mean? It's not that weird. Yeah, that's exactly why. I don't want more. I've got just the right amount. You're happy with it. We do have a lot of them. And this all ties into Goldeneye.

Yeah, and what you got next? What you got next? All right, so that's my second pick. My third pick, I'm going to take the original Tony Hawk Pro Skater. Nice. Ooh. Yeah. Solid pick.

Wild card. Wild card. You're a wild card. I'll tell you what. Yes. It's very sad to me that that style of game has gone out because that game was great, and then the SSX game, which I will argue. Skate 3.

They're more realistic, right? They're more realistic, but it's still a great skating game. It is really good. Pulling Benihana's. Christ Dares. I would love it, but they just ran it into the ground. That's what happens when companies get a hold of a good thing. That's what happened to Rockman and Anjani

in HBO. They take the thing you love and they water it down. It's no longer funny or enjoyable. I can't even watch HBO anymore. At least it was funny once, you know? At least I had it. Yeah. Kamala and I, you know, Silicon Valley

and The Late Late Show, both were super funny shows. Dale and I, you know, Silicon Valley and The Late Late Show, both were super funny shows. Tony Hawk 3 was my game. Of the Tony Hawk series, that's the one I played the most. I loved it. The first one, I think, is the one I played the most. And they did, I think, up until 3, they kept getting better. They kept getting better.

But the third was the last great one, I think. It was. They started getting, like, a little too weird. I think 2 is my favorite. Two is really good. The first one, I mean, because two was the first one where you could do manuals and you could combo tricks into one another. But the first one, that soundtrack,

I was still like Superman. So here I am doing everything I can. That ska song. Yeah. I still, every time I hear that, I think, which is every day. I eat a sausage and can. That ska song. Yeah. I still, every time I hear that, I think, which is every day. I eat a sausage and I listen to that song. And it just was amazing.

It made me want to be a skateboarder so bad. But I've always been too fat to reliably stand on a skateboard. I tried skateboarding for a couple weeks. I remember trying to skateboard through the winter in Chicago. Yeah. Not a solid idea. You would have been better off SSXing. Trying to impress

this girl. I remember skating back and forth by my school, hoping she would look at me. Skating around the corner, hitting this patch of ice and just fucking eating it. I lived down the street from my school, crying, crawling home lived, like, I lived down the street from my school. Crying. Crying.

Crawling home. Oh, no. You didn't even stand up? Yeah. Did you leave the board there? Did you grab it? You just left it on the street? I mean, I was able to go back and get it because I lived so close to my house.

But it was, yeah, it was like, I don't like skateboarding. Yeah. Where did you live in Chicago? What part of town? I lived in Southside, Chicago. 69th and Woodlawn. Okay. That's where I grew up. Southside, Chicago. 69th and Woodlawn is where I grew up. Oh, I worked on 47th and Woodlawn. I've been to the Sears Tower.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. And then on the other side of it, my son begged me for a skateboard. Did he really? For Christmas. Just begging. Loved it.

Wanted a skateboard. Wanted a skateboard. Got him a skateboard and helmet. Took him outside to get on it. He steps on it. And then is like, nah. And then just goes back upstairs and starts playing video games in his skateboard and helmet. Did he think?

And has not gotten back on it since that one time. Did he think you would step on and then it would take it from there? I think he did. It's so hard. He likes skater culture. He loves wearing skateboard shoes. Yes. He loves wearing skateboard shoes. Yes. He loves the attitude.

But he realized, I mean, I guess if you know it's not for you, just he did, he's like. He made an immediate decision. Yeah, quickly. Yeah. Malcolm Fudge was like a young Ian Carmel back in middle school

because I rocked, I wore like exclusively skateboard shoes and like dressed like them and all my friends were skateboarders. But it's just the thing itself. I was just like, I did. I stood on it once and dressed like them, and all my friends were skateboarders. But the thing itself, I was just like, I did. I stood on it once and tried to, even in a hallway where it's really easy to move on a skateboard, my center of gravity is way too out of whack for that shit. It's way too low.

Oh, yeah. He wears Etnies and D-Z shoes all the time. Were you good at Tony Hawk? Real good. Yeah. It's a great game. Not as good as Sean Jordan, apparently, who I was talking to about this earlier. Shout out to Sean Jordan.

He was helping you do his picks? I was just talking about him with him. Oh, see, now Ron is saying that that's not right either. No, I didn't. I know your tone. I know your tone. I had a whole draft room set up. I'm treating this like the NFL draft.

I was good at Tony Hawk. My favorite. I mean, I liked skating with Tony Hawk the most, although it was fun to skate with Jeff Rowley, I liked. Bob Bernquist was fun. It was amazing. It was such a good game. Do you remember the first time you nailed a 900? I remember

the first time I nailed a 900. I remember, yeah, because it was probably on that first level. Yeah. Trying to go up that huge ramp. Yeah. And so you had to pick up more and more speed. In that ball, yeah. Oh my God.

When you're doing the tricks and you're seeing the ground get closer to you and you gotta like, you think, I think I can get another turn in. Do I have one more in me? Yeah.

I can do one more before I land. I could turn this into a 360. I could get one more spin in. Yeah. On Tony Hawk 3, I know there was one level where you could get, you had to get like a million points, right?

That was when skateboard culture was at its zenith. Yeah, that's right. Top skater. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That was cool. That was the one with the actual board, right? Yeah, and the handrails.

Then and now. You know what's weird? Skate culture is like really cool now. Like if you go up and down Fairfax, everybody's like – even Kanye dresses like a skater. Everybody's like skated out, but Kanye dresses like a skater. Everybody's skated out but there's no good video game. Yeah. They should do Lil Wayne Pro Skater.

They should do Lil Wayne Pro Skater. All his awful rock and roll is like punk rock soundtrack would be every song. Just him covering Goldfinger and Primus songs. They shouldn't do Lil Wayne Pro Skater. Probably not. But I love it.

You really felt in that game you felt the gravity. You felt gravity. You felt gravity. It was scary. You really felt gravity. And when you really

were whipping around like in a bowl it felt fast. Oh yeah, with the ragdoll physics when you fell off. Yeah. And it was like nothing that had come before it.

No. I don't remember a game like that before it. It like created a new genre that then was big for like 10 years and is gone again. No. I don't remember a game like that before it. It like created a new genre that then was big for like 10 years and is gone again. Yeah.

There was, on Nintendo, wasn't there a skateboard game? But it wasn't like, but it wasn't like that. No. There was that weird, where there,

I remember there was a street course, like a game that wasn't, that wasn't really fun There was a game called Skate or Die. That's the one,

Skate or Die. I didn't like Skate or Die. Yeah, then there was a game called Skate or Die. That's the one, Skate or Die. I didn't like Skate or Die. Yeah, then there was a game called Street Surfer before that. And the California games had skateboarding. The California games had a skitch. Skitch? I loved Skitchin'. Remember Skitchin', Kamau?

I heard of it, but I don't remember. You rollerblade, and Skitchin' was when you were on rollerblades. Or a skateboard? It was rollerblades. And you'd grab the back of a car, and that's when you were skitching. Okay. There was a game on the Genesis phone. They were like, let's make a game like this

and give it to kids. I know. I don't think it... Maybe there were five people in the real world doing that, you know, skitching, and then they based the video game off of it. I tried skitching. Oh, no.

I did. On my brother's car, because I was really into rollerblading back in, like, middle school and high school. Me and my friend Brandon Carroll. So you were good at rollerblading. I was really good at rollerblading. Well, I was... I didn't do any tricks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, because I was still this size, but, like, I was 12. But I could... I rollerbladed all over the place. That was my... I would try to wear rollerblades in a 7-Eleven and nobody, nobody let me do it. Nobody let me do it.

You've been about the Heelys? You've been about that Heely life? I never got into that Heely life. I fucking despise, because by the time Heelys came out, I was working at like the old spaghetti factory, which is kind of a low class olive garden, which I know sounds crazy. And kids, I would be like holding a tray with like eight plates of spaghetti and a bunch of Italian sodas on it. And some kid would go heeling past my path, you know. And I'd have to pump the brakes because these kids are just like, it's like fucking playing Frogger, but with a tray of spaghetti.

Yeah. That's a good game. Is that one your pick? No. But it could be yours because I just made my first pick of the third round. Here's my pick. Now it's time for Ron Funch's third pick. I'm glad. The draft

has really been going how I would like because I haven't been able to. I mean, the Ocarina of Time was a big loss for me. And then it actually then took out because it was like, oh, I might do A Link to the Past, but I'm not. I'm going to go with a game that I love very, very, very much that came out of the blue

for me. I feel like it is the pinnacle of the open world genre. Okay. And that is Red Dead Redemption. Oh, yes. You know, I was considering Red Dead Redemption or GTA Vice City, but went with Vice City. But I just played it again because you could download it on Xbox One. Oh, can you?

How did it hold up? It's still good it holds up it still looks great the sky looks great oh it's such a beautiful game one of the few games where i would actually be just like leave it on and leave the background on and just be like oh i'm calm yeah like and and that is the i mean what big difference in the open world something like grant that photo i never felt calm in grant thatft Auto. Not even once. There's the action. There's a great story, great voice acting. It's one of the best games of all time.

You get on a horse and you just ride for a while. It's great. Yeah, it's beautiful. Go to Mexico. Yeah. Yeah. And there's a new one coming out, right? Yeah.

They announced they're making another one? But it's like two years away or something. Ooh, don't fuck it up. Don't fuck it up. I know. But I love it. Yeah, Red it up. Don't fuck it up. I know. But I love it. Yeah, Red Redemption was great.

John Marsden. It's got a real sad story, too. I'm assuming I get to also play Undead Nightmare because it's part of the expansion pack. Yes. So that is one of the best expansion packs ever created. For those who don't know, that's where you're in a house and zombies are attacking. It's like just the whole news story. The whole story with zombies.

Oh, I never played the whole, I never played that version of it. I didn't like the idea that they sold out the universe with the first expansion. That kind of bugged me too. I don't really care if it's zombies in general.

Because I like Gay Tony and Lost in the Damned and all that shit. Yeah, but it was amazing. It was an amazing expansion. It turned the game, if you were like, oh, I like the action, but not necessarily the damned and all that shit yeah but it was amazing it was an amazing expansion it turned the game if you were like oh i like the action but not necessarily the calming parts it turned the game into this whole claustrophobic shooter with these wave of zombie enemies coming at you

and it was like oh this is like almost a completely different game but it still works it still has a fun story it was i think it's one of the best and it hit at the time right before zombie culture was like a complete mess yeah yeah it was still like oh this is surprising and fun and unique and i like it it came out yeah precede call of duty having zombies all the time so that they set the precedent of having zombies in a game that doesn't have zombies. And now it's become, like you said, now zombies are totally played out. But Call of Duty, zombie mode.

Yeah. You know what I also loved? Zombie games. Left 4 Dead. That was great. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I actually couldn't play it. That was the time period where my son was really anti-anything violent

being in the house. So I couldn't play Left 4 Dead or watch Walking Dead. And that game is extremely violent. Yeah. Oh, Left 4 Dead is stressful. Yeah. Did you play it? No.

I watched people play it. That was one of the games where I would watch people play it. Yeah. That's good. Should I go? Is Left 4 Dead the one in the mall where you're like in a – is it that zombie game? That's Dead Rising. That's Dead Rising. Wait, what's Left 4 Dead the one in the mall? Is it that zombie game? That's Dead Rising Wait what's Left 4 Dead?

Maybe I haven't played it Left 4 Dead is four people Trying to get from one place to another And you gotta work together And it's a first person shooter And it is fucking awesome Pretty great I'm gonna have to play that

It's damn good Red Dead Redemption Excellent pick. Thank you. My turn. Another horse riding game. A lot of horse riding games in this draft. Yeah.

Horses are big. It's really fun to ride a horse. They are. Horses and guns. Have you ever ridden a horse in real life? I've never ridden a horse. Kamil, have you ridden a horse? Wait.

I did as a child. I've seen a picture of me. On a horse? I would love to have a t-shirt with that picture on it. It's on the way. Where we lived, there was a guy who would, like, sort of come to our street with a horse, and you'd just pay him, and you could, like, ride a horse on the streets of Karachi. Yeah.

And he had, like, a route, so there would be certain houses he knew kids would do it, and there was a girl that would get a turn before us and she would ride the horse and just telling you the truth i'm not proud of it yeah we would throw rocks at her to uh for her to get off so it could be that was your version of putting a quarter on an arcade machine yeah throwing rocks at the horse lady throw rocks at this girl what did she do was she just cry on the back of this horse? She was just like, what the fuck? And she would let him complain and the neighbor would come and I would tell my mom, like, why would I do that?

That's crazy. Listen to how that sounds. Yeah. Why would I throw rocks at a girl riding a horse? That's so dangerous. And so my mom believed me. So you were gaslighting your mom and throwing rocks at a lady on a horse. Yeah, I also gaslighted the girl

because I was like, I didn't throw rocks at you. Were you like hiding behind something, tossing rocks? No, out in the open. Right out in the open. Me and my cousin throwing rocks. Plain as day.

And then you would take a ride on that horse. Not proud of it. And she didn't throw rocks back? Not proud of it. No, she was on a horse. Oh, but when you rode the horse though? No. No.

No, no, no. She had class. She had class. No, she was on a horse. Oh, but when you rode the horse, though. No. No. No, no, no. She had class. She had class. Yeah. She went high. Yeah, she went high. All right, fantastic. Well, I expect you to be throwing rocks with this next pick.

All right. Your third pick, the final pick of the third round. Now it's getting tough a little bit. Okay? So I'm going to go with, because you've got to go with stuff that was big for you when it came out and had a big legacy. So I'm going with Resident Evil. Oh, yeah. Resident Evil on the PlayStation.

I remember playing that and being like, I've never played a game like this. This is fucking insane. It looks amazing. I hadn't played Alone in the dark or whatever and it was like i loved horror that was always my favorite genre of movies yeah playing a horror video game in like a whole like mansion the graphics were when they were unbelievable the fixed camera angles like i i just like that game like changed my life that game is terrifying. I don't know if it would still be now, but I remember playing it the first time.

The tank controls. You're like, I got, no, you're getting too close. I love the tank controls. I played Silent Hill 2 again recently. Yeah. And I fucking love Silent Hill 2. That's one of my favorites. To me, I think that's the pinnacle of the survival horror genre.

That's the scariest video game ever made. And Fatal Frame 2 is good, too. What are tank controls for the listeners and for me? So it's like you're facing one direction. Yeah. And so if you want to go right, you've got to hit right, and you sort of pivot, and then you hit up to move. Oh, yeah.

So you don't see what's around that corner. You don't sidestep. It's just harder to control. So if you're like, even if you're facing down, you gotta go right and it's the character's right. So it's a little non-intuitive. Okay, I get it, yeah. But that just made it scarier, right?

It made it scarier. Tank controls. The only ones of that, I didn't, I loved Resident Evil 2. That's like my favorite. That one was great. 2 and 4 are my favorite. I think 4, if I were to pick a Resident Evil in my top 5, 4 would be my pick. You know,

I will say, a lot of people pick 4. I love 4. To me, it was too action-y. It was more like what later became Dead Space. I liked the first one and the second one because they were less like shooty. I like 4. I like 5. I liked the first one and the second one because they were less shooty. I like 4. I like 5. I like 6.

Really? Yeah, I like all of those. But 4 for me was 2, actually. The Umbrella Corporate. I couldn't play the first one. I remember the first time I played the first one, it was Dark Out. And I was like, I can't right now.

I can't play this until the next day. It's the best. Dead Space, that would do it for me. That one's terrifying. Dead Space is crap. I would get so nervous that I couldn't play those. I couldn't play Resident Evil for more than like an hour, dude. I've not even been like, nope.

Right? They're just too fucking scary. Oh, dude, did you try Outlast? It's a new game no you get an outlast 2 came out play pt oh pt is terrifying outlast we tried we played for a few days and i was like i just think this is too stressful and scary it's not even fun at some point yeah outlast 2 just came out and or like amnesia they're just too scary i can't handle it there were no movies that were as scary

as those games were in that time. Yeah, because you're controlling it. Yeah. Like, this is happening to you. It was way worse. Excellent pick, Camille. Resident Evil 1. Any more thoughts on Resident Evil?

No, just love it. Oh, Ron? It's actually, it's your pick again, Camille. It's your, that was the final pick of the third round. Okay, okay, okay. And now you have the first pick of the fourth round. All right.

Well, okay. So, this is tough. It's tough. I gotta go. I gotta go with Skyrim. Oh, yeah. That was on my list, too. That was my favorite.

That's my favorite RPG of all time. And I've just been, like, watching videos of it again. It would be so cool because you'd just be walking somewhere and you'd see a well and you'd go down the well. And there's a whole fucking storyline in the well that, like, you wouldn't have found if you didn't go. Every book, like, tells you more about the world. And, like, I just love the idea where you're, like, sitting there. You're like, I'm going to. You see that little blip far over there?

That's a mountain. I'm going to walk to it. Yeah. And you just fucking walk to it. And on the way, there's shit to do. It'll take you four hours to get to that blip on the map. Yeah. There's so many little things along the way.

And you just go straight. You walk to it. The fucking dragon fights are cool. Oh, my God. Fus Ro Dah is cool. I just, like, Skyrim really was my life for months and months and months. Me too. You could play

and months and months and months and there was you could have played for even more months. Oh yeah, I had to decide to stop. I finished the game. Yeah. I finished the story. I finished the story. Yeah. Which in and of itself would take forever. Like that well thing you're talking about, that could take you six hours, wherever that well leads you. Oh, my God.

And it has nothing to do with the storyline. It has nothing to do. It's just some random thing. Yeah. Yeah. And every character on the side was so fleshed out. You could find out so much about their history. And I like that the dwarven ruins had a certain look.

Everybody, they had like the weird technology stuff, like almost robot stuff. Did you ever play Skyrim? I just got it. I never played it when it came out. The new one you got. Yeah, I just got the remaster. It's one of the best. It's such a good game.

I'm really jealous of that pick. Yeah, I think it was so overloaded, and I think, so I didn't, and I think I watched you play it so much that I was like, I already know too much about it to play it on my own. Yes, but I think it's been enough time now. Yeah, we were, yeah, for the list of Ron and I. In Rip City? We, not in Rip City, but you would stay, you would come crash with us every now and then. Yeah, I think it was when I was crashing on your couch a lot. Yeah, in Portland.

You were playing Skyrim, like, nonstop. Nonstop. I think I had gout, but was in denial of it, so I would, like, not want to walk around on my ankle or something like that. You were playing Skyrim, like, nonstop. Nonstop. I think I had gout but was in denial of it, so I would, like, not want to walk around on my ankle or something like that. Do you really have gout? I think I do have gout. I still don't know.

You should go to the doctor. I've been to the doctor. No, I've been to the doctor several times and I've been like, yo, I think I have gout. And the doctor's just like, you don't have gout. You're 32. And I'm like, I don't think that's a barrier between – Kyle Kinane has gout.

Kyle had it. Yeah, Kyle – You can't even get a bit out of it. I know. That's the fucked up thing is like Kinane's got this great gout bit and like I look way more like I have gout than Kyle does. Kyle acts more like he has gout than I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kyle's soul has gout. His soul has gout. Yeah, your soul doesn't have gout. He's actively chasing gout. Kyle is – right, he's like one of those bug chasers soul has gout. Yeah, your soul doesn't have gout. He's actively chasing gout. Kyle is. Right, he's like one of those bug chasers, but with gout. Yeah, absolutely. Kyle set gout on his vision board every year, and he finally got it.

Yeah, he wanted gout. Yeah. He desecrated gout into existence. Calling himself Uncle Barbecue should have immediately given him gout. All right, Skyrim. Ronald, what do you got? All right, I'm going to i got i'm still been lucky because most of my pigs have been available for me can i make one last point about skyrim

yeah how great was it oh like buying and decorating houses too my god i love that shit that game has so much and i just like it was so exciting and so big. And Tamriel was just, I mean, I get attached to like my companions and stuff. Yeah, me too. Yeah. More horse riding, by the way. It was such like, it felt like, yes, it felt like the world existed before you started playing the game. And it felt like it would exist when you stopped. You're getting me excited.

You're going to have so much. Like a total history. Like when this game started, you felt like people have been living in this world for hundreds of years. Shit's already happened. And then I've tried to like, you know, I love The Witcher and I love Dragon Age, but for me Skyrim was the one. There's nothing else like it.

I think that might be my issue, though, that I've never been into the fantasy realm. See, that's my favorite. That's my favorite that's my favorite realm mine too that's all the realm out like i like the more post-apocalyptic see i tried to play fallout 4 yeah and like i got i don't care for fallout 4 i played it that's but that's the one that everybody vegas fallout 2 is great fallout 4 is the one where everyone was like this is the fucking game right like yeah that's what they said but i don't agree. I tried it, and I couldn't get into it. I played it.

Legit guys played it for like 30 hours. I put a lot of time into it. Yeah, and you're like, this isn't fun. And after 30 hours, I was like, no. I don't know why I couldn't connect to it either. I'm not disagreeing about your Fallout 4 opinion, but Fallout 3 was one of the best games I ever played, especially when you start as being born

in this first person world. Oh, really? I haven't even played it. It has a lot more RPG elements than Fallout 4 does. Skyrim might be a better character than Fallout 4. I did the same thing. I spent 30 hours going like, oh, I love Fallout. I love Fallout. I love Fallout 3.

I'm going to love this. I'm going to love it any minute now. I'm going to love this. I'm going to love it any minute now. I'm going to love it. That's what I was so stoked for. Would you say you had a falling out with Fallout? No, because that would be a horrible joke. Yeah, you wouldn't do that. I might say it. I'm above such.

Right, totally. Kamau, I had a falling out with Fallout. Thank you, Ian. Yeah, you're welcome. I don't have as much time to write because of the show. I think if anything can get you over your aversion to fantasy, I think it might be Skyrim. It is. But it is fantasy.

It is. It's hard fantasy. It's sword, sorcery, dragons. There's not a lot of fantasy, a lot of reading. There's not as much. There's not reading unless you want it. Although there are. That's the other fucking crazy thing about Skyrim is there's books.

There's like recipe books and people have made like those things and they're real recipes. Yeah. They're like actual things. Some writers have sat down and wrote like 35 page books about the history of Skyrim. I appreciate them creating the whole world. I feel like I might play it. But you don't have to read the books. No.

Okay, so sorry about that. No, it went well. I got to talk about Fallout. I'm going to go with another one of my favorite games. If I was able to pick the one. Oh, that's a good choice. You're picking one of your favorite games for the list. Is this because of the thing I said just before?

You want to play NBA 2K after this? I should have waited a little bit longer. Yeah, I mean, it was so... Are you playing NBA 2K? No.

Okay. I might. Now I might. I don't know. Every pick, I've been like, am I going to do NBA 2K? I know,

I almost picked it. Everything but the first pick I've almost picked. Yes. Now you're about to do it. It's on the list. I've been thinking about it. You guys might make me do it, but I'm not... I mean, if it goes, it goes. I'm not... I'm about to do it. It's on the list. I've been thinking about it. You guys might make me do it.

But I'm not. I mean, if it goes, it goes. I'm going to do one of my favorite games. Oh, cool. A great action game. That's a good idea. For my favorite developer. I'm going to go with Uncharted 2.

Oh, you do love that game. I know that about you. Did you play 4? I played 4. 4 is great. It almost reaches the heights of 2. 2, to me, was the first time where I was like, oh, I'm actually...

A lot of video games are always like, you're playing a movie. And this was the first time where I was like, this is... I would watch this movie. It's better than a movie. This is better than a movie. It looks beautiful.

It starts... The first level is one of the best opening levels of any video game of all time. Is that where you're hanging on the train? Yeah. And then it just goes from there. And then it gives you some story. It does just masterful story work of going back and forth, of just giving you action and story and exploration.

And I know it could be a little predictable as far as like, oh, you explore, then you go shoot. And then you do some story. And then you explore. And then you shoot. But it was so tightly done. The graphics are great. I feel like Nathan Drake is such a great character. Predictable is not a problem.

Sex is predictable. It's still great. It's still great. Yeah, I'm going to be in, out, in, out, in, out. Then I'll feel great. Then I'll feel bad. Right. It's still great. It's still great. Yeah, I'm going to be in, out, in, out, in, out. Then I'll feel great. Then I'll feel bad. Right. You know, sex.

Nathan Drayton, this way. I still haven't played any of the Uncharted, which I know is a- Play two. Two? Start with two. That's okay to start with two? I don't know, but I'll buy one. Get one.

After this thing. Get one. There's an Uncharted collection. Yeah. Have them all, you know, up front. Play two. I would say play two and then skip to four. Really? Although There's an Uncharted collection. Have them all. Play two. I would say play two and then skip to four. Really?

Three is really good, too. Three? I don't know. Three is okay. One is better than I remember. But two and four are the absolute best. Yeah, just do two and four. I won't miss that on Crucial Story.

Okay, cool. Four is fucking so good, too. You know what I do miss? Oh, this is a spoiler coming up. Is that okay? I feel like the other ones all... Wait, I'm going to close my ears. Okay, all had some sort of supernatural element,

and I felt like four didn't. I like that it didn't have a supernatural element. I was waiting for it. I like it. I felt like the other times it was always... Especially in two. It was surprising. I felt like it was tacked on.

Like when those Yeti snowman things show up? Well, yeah. I thought it was great. That was pretty cool. Yeah. All right. We're done. I think I heard the word Yeti, but it could have been referring to anything.

Maybe like the winter craft vehicle, the Yeti, which I think is a brand of snowmobiles. And if it's not, what a great idea for a name. Nathan Drake, you're a treasure hunter? He is a treasure hunter. He's a bit of a con man. He's a classic, like, cool white guy. He's like sort of an Ian Carmel type. He's like a crook Indiana Jones.

So instead of stealing from museums, he's stealing to sell and for himself. Oh, that's great. That sounds really fun. He's got a fun father figure. Sully. Yeah, and that's great. That sounds really fun. He's like, he's got a fun father figure. It's Sully. Yeah, and that's great. That's a great story. And with those two,

he's got multiple love interests. One that's dangerous. One that's like, you should probably settle down with. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not surprising. You look at him.

Yeah, that dude should have multiple love interests. He's a handsome guy. Five o'clock shadow all the time. All the time. He's handsome. Five o'clock shirt. Yeah yeah he knows his way around a ruin he does he's smart he's very uh and he's funny he's funny sometimes you're like shut up with your little beautiful face but i like i like that the shooting is really good every element is really good like sometimes with

gta you sort of have to be like, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. The shooting isn't great and the driving, but all together it really works. But Uncharted, I feel like every single element is super good. Does the game make you want to be a more adventurous man? Does it make you want to go, like, I should go to Machu Picchu?

Yeah. Machu Picchu. Exactly. Machu Picchu. To visit other lands. It really instills this sense of wonder and taught me more about things that I didn't know about as far as treasure hunters and Sir Francis Drake and stuff like that. Oh, that's great. So it's like connected to these actual figures from history. It's sort of like historical fiction in the sense that it takes real events and then does

like, oh. The way like National Treasure does where it's like there was a secret treasure room here. Yeah, a little bit. Fuck, that game sounds right up my alley. Oh, dude, gotta get it. Yeah, you love adventure games. I do, yeah, I do.

Uncharted 2 is... Gotta get it. No matter, like, objectively, on everybody's list would be one of the best adventure games ever made. After I'm done with this thing I have to do, I'm gonna buy a PlayStation 4 and get that. You should get a PlayStation 4. It's great.

And just for the baseball games, too, which is something I like, and maybe Sean O'Connor and then maybe nobody else. Alright, amazing pick, Uncharted 2. It is now time for me to make my fourth pick, the final pick of the fourth round. And since it's there, since you didn't take it, and I felt

I have to take NBA 2K. Yeah, okay. I'm going to take 17. I'm going to take the current iteration of it because it just keeps getting better. It keeps getting better. I think on my list I had 13. 13 specifically? With the Michael Jordan.

Oh, that was good. Yeah, that was good. Whether you could have like the three different Michael Jordans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was really good. Or when you play his best games and you get a match.

Fuck, that was good. Oh, I should have taken 13 maybe. I'm taking 17. But that was great. Where it would put you in and you had to... And it would let you...

If you hit the seven threes in the first half, you would shrug. Yeah. Oh, and it had Gold Chain Jordan. Mm-hmm. Which is the coolest Oh, and it had Gold Chain Jordan, which is the coolest. It had everything.

Gold Chain Jordan is the coolest Jordan. And for a guy from Chicago, it was like, this is. So, yeah, it's on my list. I'm not going to pick it now because you picked it at 17, but NBA 2K13. I feel like that series, every three, each one is better than the last, but there's like some big leap that happens every three or four years yeah it's not even just a console leap like sometimes they'll just make a leap right yeah gorgeous i mean i just now because i got the ps pro and seeing it with the with the 4k and in the lighting i don't because i was like all right it'll look

okay it'll look a little better. I was like, fuck. It looks like, not even like I'm watching it on TV. It looks like I'm watching it while I'm at the movies. What is a PS Pro? They came out with this new console that's basically for silly rich kids who have 4K TVs. And it just up-reses your... They're doing kind of... It's more graphic.

Four times as powerful. Do you have to buy new games for it? It's like a Sega CD. It just kind of... If you have it, it up-reses your graphics for you. It's like a weird half-step between console generations.

It's kind of strange that they're both doing it because Xbox is doing it. PS4 is doing it. It's kind of weird. It's like if you had a PC and all your settings... If your PS4 was all the settings on medium,, it's like if you had a PC and all your settings, if your PS4 was all the settings on medium,

then it's like now you can bump them up to high or ultra. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Well, we're all silly rich kids. Are you going to get one, Kamau? I'm sure someone's already given him four. Yeah. No, I don't have a Sony hookup. But I don't have a 4K TV. Is the difference really that profound?

I mean, I was just in the market for a new TV. My TV was getting old, so I was like, I might as well get a 4K TV. There's not enough content to really justify it. Yeah. As far as when you do see something. You might as well. Yeah. Like playing on NBA 2K, I was like, oh, I never noticed the texture on the floor

of when you're at home, you know, when you're at home in your career playing a game. Like I didn't know that it was concrete and that you could see the cracks in it. You actually, when you're playing, you can see Blake Griffin's off-court problems. You can see the drinking problem

that lurks somewhere deep within him that comes from the punch trainers. Yeah, yeah. You can see why he would punch his equipment manager or whatever the fuck he did. There's a hollowness in his eyes that isn't there in other players' eyes. You can get that in 1080p. You can see Damien – oh, I'm not going to say it. What? No.

Dame? Nope. Fantastic album. I like his rap album. Oh, he has a rap album. Oh, yeah. Damien Lillard put out a pretty his rap album oh he has a rap album oh yeah Damian Lillard put out Damian Lillard put out a pretty good rap album

yeah he's solid for an NBA player like probably better than Shaq's yes and Shaq's Shaq and Fushnikan's

were not bad for the 90s for the 90s not you can't listen to it now but yeah Damian put out he put out an album

the same week as Eminem dropped a new song and Damian's was way better than Eminem's. And what about Meta? Didn't Meta have an album, too? Yeah, Meta World Peace did. Yeah, but we don't need to talk about that. We don't need to. It's not a highlight.

In fact, it might be the lowlight, and he was part of Malice in the Palace. NBA 2K is just the perfect sports game. Yeah. Madden is kind of stagnated, in my opinion. Yeah. And it's just of stagnated, in my opinion. Yeah. And it's just, it feels like basketball. It's fucking... The flow.

When you're missing shots, you're like, yeah, I should be missing shots right now because I'm forcing shots and I'm not playing properly. Right. As soon as you take a shot, you can kind of tell if it's going to go in or not, which is amazing. And if you got a bad shot off, if it does go in, it'll kind of bank around a little bit. You'll know you had a lucky shot.

Yeah, you really should get a PlayStation. I mean, I guess you guys can play on Xbox. I'll get a PlayStation. I was going to save it as a reward, but if we can just play it online, I'll do that. It's just such a good game. My Career Mode is fun, even. The storyline in the new one is cool.

With Jack Knight and Hannibal. With Jack Knight, Hannibal. Oh yeah, Matt Walsh is great in it. Yeah, how fucking fun. It's so fun. I got too good. I won the championship my first season and now I'm like, where do I go from here?

A second championship. Yes. A dynasty. Well, I left. You got to play against the ghost of Michael Jordan like LeBron said he's doing. Wow. Which Michael Jordan's not even dead.

I was on the Denver Nuggets and then I switched teams and then I just didn't like it as much. You demanded a trade. You won a championship with the Denver Nuggets? Yeah, dude. Well, they've got like, well, they have Kenneth Fareed and stuff and they're all good. I know that, yeah.

There's not one, there's not a player in the NBA right now who could go to Denver and turn them into a championship team. Well, I'll tell you, Cayman Nanjiani did. Cayman, because you wanted them to say your name? No, I'll tell you why. Okay. Because it won't, and for years, it won't let me name Kumail because it thinks it's a swear word because it thinks it's cum. What?

So I can't ever name myself Kumail. What? Because they're always like there's a swear word in it because they think I'm trying to cheat them. Like I want to name myself. I want to have a play on the word cum in my name. Kumail? Like it's a kind of beer?

Yeah. Kumail? Like cream soda? That's a stretch. That's quite the stretch. Well, I just can't figure out what it is because for years it has not let me and I've tweeted at them. Yeah. If someone at 2K

is listening to this, fucking fix that. Also, make them say Carmel. Make that a thing the announcers say. That'd be great. And Funches. That's one of my only goals. I want to have a pool, and I want NBA 2K to say Carmel. Well, in the new one, everybody's Prez, right? Yeah, Prez.

Prez. Because they can't get Michael B. Jordan to say 40 different names. No, they can't. And the last one, Prez, NBA 2K16, you were Frequency Vibrations in this storyline. Yeah, that's Spike Lee, right? That sucked. That's a bad name. Yeah. That's Spike Lee, right? That sucked. That's a bad name. Yeah.

That's Spike Lee, right? It was Spike Lee. Freak vibe. That was... There were cool twists in the storyline, but that sucked. That's trying a little hard. Yeah, I didn't like his story. I didn't care for it.

If you were white, you were still frequency vibrations. And then you had to, in your brain, sort of justify the story where you had... I used to go to a lot of raves. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I used to testify this story where you had... I used to go to a lot of raves. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I was big into rave culture. Yeah. If I could add a pacifier necklace to my creative player, I would, but I can't.

Freak vibe. Freak vibe. And you had like a black best friend and you talked black and your family was black. But you were white. You were a white guy named Frequency, named Ian Carmel. best friend and you talked black and your family was black it was a jerk simulator god you God. Yeah, and you would do the freak vibe dance. Yeah, so NBA 2K, I mean, there's not much. I have wasted my life playing NBA 2K. Yeah, I've played all 17. Yeah, I have too.

Me too. I have wasted huge swaths of my life. The first time I saw it on the Dreamcast, yeah. Nothing looked like that. No. Nothing looked like that. The faces looked like the player. Because it was still NBA Jam time at that God. Yeah. Nothing looked like that. No. Nothing looked like that. The faces looked like the player. Because it was still NBA Jam time at that time.

Yeah. And playing NBA Live stick figures. I remember looking at, like, Scotty Pippen's face and being like, that looks like Scotty Pippen. Looks like Scotty Pippen. Yeah. You can tell he doesn't tip just from the- Shout out the visual concepts. Yeah.

Yeah. Don't talk bad about Scotty Pippen. He was a blazer, too. I'll talk bad. He was a good blazer. Not as good as he was on the visual concepts. Don't talk bad about Skype. He was a blazer, too. I'll talk bad about it. He was a good blazer. Not as good as he was on the Bulls. Didn't get us six championships. Oh, yeah, that's right.

You still have another pick, right? I do have another pick. Your final pick. My final pick. The final pick. Ian Carmel's final pick of the video game All Fantasy Everything. And I'm going to go with something a little different. Are you going to pick not one of your favorite games? Yeah, I'm going to go with something a little different. Are you going to pick not one of your favorite games?

Yeah, I'm going to pick my least favorite game. Curveball. Fudge is giving Camille the finger. I'm going to go with Rock Band. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go with Rock.

That was really fun. Yeah, it was such a fun game. It's not anything I, you know, it's not like the other games on my list where i poured huge portions of my life into it uh but i just i just fucking loved it it was such a fun party game i could never drum but it was like really fun and it came out in a time of my life when like i was living with like in portland did you have the guitar up on the wall like dudes used to have that? No, no, no, no. People had that. Of course I didn't. That's where we kept the empty beer bottles. But I would like,

I lived with friends, so I'd be like, do you want to come over? We'll get drunk and play a rock band. And it was super fun. I liked singing on it. I could play the guitar and the bass. Oh my god, it makes you feel like a rock star. It really does make it, and I got into that mode too because you could single player and just play guitar.

Can you play Guitar Hero Live? No. What is that like? It's really fun because they use full motion video. Oh, really? So it's like, oh. And I've heard, which was an idea of mine. Yeah.

Because it makes you feel like you're actually, because you're playing. They've shot. They've hired all these extras and background people to pretend like they're at a concert and give you two reactions. Whether you're either killing it or you're fucking sucking and they're booing the shit out of you. Really? Yeah. So it feels like you're in a real band.

Yeah. And then you're at this concert and everybody's booing you except for this one guy who's wasted and he's still like, you're all right. And these are video. Yeah yeah these are all live action videos and does it still have like a storyline like you start off like a little basically you're playing all these uh you're working your way through a festival circuit okay great and trying to get do bigger and bigger festivals that's fucking amazing now that they're going to do it for the oculus so wow you're actually looking around because i remember the first time i played it i I got nervous

because I was like I don't want to fail in front of all these people so I imagine being in virtual reality and looking around and actually seeing all these people it's going to be like a killer oh that's fucking great scooping that up for sure that sounds great because I love the storyline

you started off in these shitty clubs and you worked your way up the ladder. It was just super fun and satisfying. You went from a van to a plane. Yeah.

I went from a van to a plane. Yeah. I bet so many kids didn't learn guitar because they played rock band instead and it scratched

that itch for them. Because they tried to put out that one that would actually teach you guitar. Right, right, right. They did. That had strings. Yeah. So that'sch for him. Because they tried to put out that one that would actually teach you guitar. Right, right, right. They did. That had strings.

Yeah. Yeah. So that's my final pick, Rock Band. That concludes my draft. Ron, it is now on you for your fifth pick, your final pick. Can I look at your list? No. You want to?

Yeah, I know what my last pick is. Okay. I won't say anything. Oh, my God. All right. Yeah, I know what my last pick is. I won't say anything. Oh my god, alright. We have some weird, like, there's some overlap there in terms of games that I love and thought about. But this is going to be tough, huh? Yeah, it's a tough pick. I'm still picking it as we decide.

I'll tell you, the second on that list is one of my favorite, favorite things. That's one of my favorite things, too. But I don't know if it's going to... We're going to have to tell people what it is if you don't pick it. Okay. Well, I'll walk you through some ones I'm not picking that are on the list. Beautiful. I'm not going to pick Overwatch, even though I love it.

It's a beautiful game. It's amazing. I feel like maybe if I had more time with it, I would pick it. I already have over 100 hours into it, which is ridiculous for me for any game. For any game. Yeah, that's a lot. But for a shooter. That's Skyrim levels of commitment.

Yeah. So I love it. But not Overwatch. Not Overwatch. Overwatch is getting deleted. I'm not going to, even though it pains me, I'm not going to pick Marvel vs. Capcom 2, which is one of my favorite fighting games.

You don't have a fighting game. I know. That's the thing. I don't have a couple of different types of games, and I want to pick one. If I didn't already have an action and adventure game, certainly Ninja Gaiden Black would be

I love that game so much that was one of the best until the new Batman Arkham games, that was my favorite fighting system it was so punishing so exact once you got it down, you were like

I'm a murdering machine every scrub could kill you yeah yeah you had to fight every person guys regular guys could murder you yeah and that was insane uh guy then then uh just and then i tell you what i was about to pick super puzzle fighter yeah because that's one of my favorite games and I would fall asleep seeing it and dream about it. But now just talking about it again, I am going to pick Ninja Gaiden Black as my final pick. Ooh. There it is.

All right. A little shake up at the end. I got to say that's the most surprising pick that you've made so far. Is Ninja Gaiden Black? I think so. Why? Because it's not a game that people really talk about now. All the games that we've all picked are games

that are sort of like in the conversation people talk about them. Like NBA Jam is remembered. Yeah. And all, you know, Mario 3 obviously is remembered. Resident Evil. But Ninja Gaiden Black I feel like people forgot about a little bit. I feel like it's a real

gamer. Like it's like it's a gamer's game because you it was one of the first games where it was just like I don't give a shit if you win or lose. I don't want to I don't care to get you through this story. You gotta get better or even the first guy is gonna kill you.

Yeah. Oh yeah. And that's so different than how games are right now where everything is just like even like grand theft auto games are like pretty easy to beat oh grand theft auto games are super easy yeah red dead redemption is super easy a lot of those where they just like live the storyline we put a lot of time into it beautiful game yeah and and i love the ninja guidance series series on Nintendo and to see it become this really fresh, new thing that was violent and

adult and right on that line before he really got really over-hypely sexual with the Dead or Alive games and stuff like that. Itagaki? Yeah. This was right when he was at his peak as a developer.

This is his best game. This is his best work, easily. And it also had like a batshit sort of Japanese story. Like, it was fucking crazy. What's the storyline? Can you do like a real quick recap? Well, just like the world was so weird. There were like private investors and dragons.

Oh, really? You end up in New York. You end up private investors and dragons. Oh, really? You end up in New York. You end up on an airship. Oh, it's... What? Oh, my God, dude. What time period is this? The airship was great.

The airship was one of the best levels I've ever played of any game. Is it modern day? It's like a weird future, right? Yeah, future. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the not so distant future. It's like Blade Runner meets fantasy meets ninjas meets Private Eye meets boobs. Meets boobs.

And just the fighting engine of it was, until Batman, as I said, that was the best fighting engine. And people didn't steal it. Batman, I feel like everybody stole now. Everybody's got that. Yeah, Shadows of Mordor has that Batman engine. Which stole it in an amazing way. Shadows of Mordor is great. Yeah, Shadows of Mordor. Which stole it in an amazing way. Shadows of Mordor is a great game. Yeah, Shadows of Mordor is great.

But the Ninja Gaiden one, people didn't steal. And then the game started getting worse. And then they kicked him off. And then he made a game. And that game got bad reviews. So I feel like that was the height of a career. Yeah, it was a great game. And I'm happy with it being my final pick,

even though it means that Mario Kart Double Dash is not one of them. Oh, yeah. All right, my last one, I tried to, there are two, and I'm going to tell, so Street Fighter II, I had a fighting game, I had an open world game, I had a survival horror game, I had an RPG. So the last one, I don't want it to be another RPG. Yeah. But playing this series was my favorite video game experience of all time.

So I was going to have it be Bioshock, but I'm not going to do Bioshock. I do love Bioshock. But I'm going to go with Mass Effect 2. Okay. That is a great pick. That is an amazing pick. Because that, I think, is my favorite video game series. And 2 is the best of those. I love 3.

I like the ending, too. But 2, like, you're going to different planets. The world is huge. The characters are all great. There's so much you can do. When, like, someone on your team dies it's fucking like super sad and the action was good too i have i have to admit i've never played the mass effect games it's wonderful i'm so excited what is the what is the vibe of it if there's anyone listening who has it it's like

it's out of space adventure yeah it's out of space rpg shooter um third person shooter so where the but the r RPG elements are amazing. They all kind of play out in these cinematic movies where you're just picking the storyline and picking the choices. You know a lot of times you pick the choices and it tells you the exact thing that you picked.

These ones, you're picking approximations. You're picking, do I want to be aggressive? Do I want to be diplomatic? Do I want to be passive? Do I want to be aggressive do I want to be diplomatic do I want to be passive do I want to be smooth and then you just kind of watch it play out and just the voice acting and the stories and the graphics

how they all played out I just remember just hanging on that bar like all the time just talking with people and it was great and then you just fuck your crewmates and it's like it was don't fuck jack though she's made of strings like she would be like just let's just fuck no strings attached yeah you are a problem oh really so it like changed

dynamics on the ship and stuff like that yeah totally yeah she's insane and i made my commander shepherd really ugly because i thought it'd be fun to have, like, the savior of the universe be, like, a really ugly dude. Yeah. It's always, like, a handsome guy. So you could design how he looked, like, beforehand. Yeah, you could pick a female. Pick traits, yeah.

Yeah. Just have my black Commander Shepard just saving the universe. It's a great pick. And I'm excited about the new one. Mass Effect Andromeda comes out next year. It's going to be good. I will jump in. Can you play Mass Effect 2 without playing Mass Effect 1?

Yeah, I recommend it. If you get Mass Effect 2, remember to download. There's like a 20-minute thing you can play that's like a graphic novel. Yeah. Where you sort of – it recaps one. And it lets you make the decisions. Oh, great. Because those play into number two?

Yeah. Yeah. Plays through the whole series. Number two, yeah. I would say – because there are big decisions you make in one that reverberate through the whole series. I would say the big thing about Mass Effect is it's moral gray zones. It's very hard to know what's right. So it'll be like two races.

They're beefing. Both of them are right, but only one of them can win. The other one's going to get fucked. So you really have to. And you have a representative of each race on your team. Oh, what? And you have to weigh into those? Yeah, like the genophage virus thing.

You remember that? Oh, yeah. To me, that's one of the great video game moral quandaries. Yeah, because I remember like, I'm going to stop playing for a day and think about what I'm going to do. It's tough. I need to go online and read about what I'm going to do. It's tough. I need to go online and read about the pros and cons. Really make an informed decision like you were voting.

I had to at one point. This Tali... Forget that. That's a spoiler maybe. But there were like two crew members that I had to choose something between and one I was super close with. The way I played it, we were like besties. We weren't dating, we were besties. So I picked the other one between and one I was super close with. Yeah. Like, in the way I played it, we were like besties. We weren't dating.

We were besties. So I picked the other one's thing because I was like, she'll understand. Yeah. She fucking committed suicide. What? It was so intense. How did you feel after that? You must have felt like you betrayed somebody.

Awful. Like, it affected your daily life. It affected your video game life. Oh, yeah. It colored my days. Yeah. Oh, my God. That game sounds amazing game sounds amazing well i mean what a final pick i can't believe it went i can't believe it went 15th uh well that wraps it that wraps it up guys that's that was fun let's recap the the picks uh camille you went first right yeah no no i went first i went first right yeah no you went first I went first oh yeah that's right

I picked Ocarina of Time Golden 007 Tony Hawk 1 NBA 2K17 and Rock Band Funches you went hopefully you just need a Nintendo 64

I know I really do this speaks a lot about when I played like the most variety of video games Funches you went with Super Mario 3 right off the bat

and then NBA GM Tournament Edition, Red Dead Redemption, Uncharted 2, and then capped it all off with Ninja Gaiden Black. Kamale, you went with Street Fighter 2, GTA Vice City, Resident Evil 1, Skyrim, and Mass Effect 2.

Man, these are some great games we all picked. These are some really great video games. And the most fun game was playing All Fantasy Everything with you guys. Thank you. Thank you for having us. Thank you so much for joining us. Make sure you go to at Ian Carmel on Twitter to vote on who you thought won this edition of All Fantasy Everything. We'll be back again next week with another brand new episode.

Thank you so much for listening. That was a HeadGum Podcast.