All Fantasy Everything - Wet Stuff

Episode Date: October 10, 2024

Damp, moist, wet.Support the show!Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for ad-free episodes, mailbags, and video pre-rolls.Advertise on AFE!Advertise on All Fantasy Everything via Gumball.fm.Follow the Good Vibes Gang on social media:Ian Karmel (X @IanKarmel, IG @IanKarmel)Sean Jordan (X @SeanSJordan, IG @SeancougarmelonJordan)David Gborie (IG @Coolguyjokes87)Isaac K. Lee (X @IsaacKLee, IG @IsaacKLee)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial, and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast that fantasy drafts the entire world. I'm your host, Ian Carmel, and with me as always are my good friends and stand-up comedians, Sean Jordan and David Borey. And today we are drafting a topic brought to us by, I believe it was Dirk Marshall on my Instagram comments

when I was asking for suggestions for topics for the live show in Denver. He suggested wet stuff. Yeah. And that's what we're drafting. Wet stuff. I like it. I'm glad we waited because I think my list was mostly...

Things that you actually like. So do liquids count? We've done liquids, right? We've done liquids! Right, and I know we're all good enough at this to understand what would count as a liquid and what would qualify as a wet thing. But there's... Isn't it so gross? But there's different. What's happening? There can be liquids that are wet things

that we wouldn't have put necessarily in the liquids draft. No? Well. I don't know, seed the soil. I don't know. I would kind of actually love to know what you're referring to, but I don't wanna start saying any picks.

I have enough wet things. I would love to climb up in there for a day and just look around. I don't need Meow Wolf, dude. Let me just say that Sean Jordan's Noggin, dude. If they open Sean Jordan's Noggin, near the hotel where you're staying at in Denver, I'd go. They call it Seanoggins.

Yeah, Seanoggins. Shenanigans? Shenanigans, nice little Irish spot. Somebody, oh, somebody commented, if I would have said, instead of RoboCop, in the, if I would have said Rob O'Cop, that that would have been a good action hero name. That's funny.

Instead of RoboCop. Sorry, forget who you are, but shout out, that's hilarious. Isn't that his name in the show, Rob O'Cop? It's a gross oversight. Robert O'Cop, Rob O'Cop. That's very funny. I mean, it's even Irish.

It's perfect. Robert O'Cop. Oh, Robert O'Cop. Oh, Robert O It's perfect. Oh, Roberto Cop. Oh, Roberta Cop. Roberta Cop. The Roberta Cop, that's the sequel. Roberta Cop, yeah. This time she has tits. Roberta's not like a, you know, do you mean I don't even name Roberta anymore?

I feel like it's falling out of circulation. I don't think I've ever met a Roberta my age. Roberta Flack? That's the only one I can think of. I can't even think of any other Roberta's. Roberta Hug and Kiss. That's Amanda. Is that Amanda's sister?

Did you ever hear Amanda Butt Hickey? That was the one that was going around in our circle before Hug and Kiss. Before? Before, so we were in a Butthickey? That was the one that was going around in our circle before Hug and Kiss. Before? Before, so we were in a Bud Hickey. You guys bloomed early, I guess. You started at Butthickey and then moved to Hug and Kiss? We started at Bud Hickey.

Talk about being born on 30. Hug and Kiss was like on The Simpsons or something and I'm like, oh, that's funny too. But Butthickey's way funnier. You guys were living hard in Sioux Falls, man. It's a tough town. It doesn't even make sense. Ivana butt hickey makes sense.

Well, a man to butt hickey. What's a butt hickey, Sean? This is where you suck on someone's butt until there's a hickey there. Right? I don't know. I guess. Yeah, you suck on the butt cheek until there's a hickey.

But butt hickey is a verb. It's not anything I've ever heard before, not to say it doesn't exist. What, you've never had to hurry up and butt hickey to the mall? Hey, you wanna come over tonight and butt hickey? That doesn't make sense. You wanna come over tonight and hug and kiss?

It's definitely a thing a kid thinks doing it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. We got to, that's not even one of the bases, dude. We got to the dugout. We blood-hickied.

Yeah. Oh. Denver was fun. When is this one coming out? Isaac, are you knee-deep in ramen right now, dude? Are you slurping or what? Two weeks from today. Thank you.

Thank you, Isaac. Perfect Sean Jordan impression. He did it. He did it. He did it. Good job. Oh, two weeks from today. So this is October. Story of a girl. Yeah, this is October. This is story of a... Damn, I will be 40. No longer a man in his late 30s. I will be out of my late 30s by the time this one drops.

Yeah. Well, we had a good run, bud. We had a good run. Now David's the only one left in his 30s. As soon as David hits his 30s, you gotta be 29 by now, but, or maybe not. Maybe you're 28 forever. Age is a number, man. Yeah, it is.

Hey. I was thinking about how Mandel talked on the last episode. We don't need to just get into specifics of anything. Oh yeah, you've heard it by now. Man, that guy. I haven't laughed. I haven't laughed that much without saying anything and I maybe ever.

That's the funniest thing you've ever said. I got to contribute a thing to that. We left. I don't even know why it was funny. I don't even know why it was funny. I feel dumb. Oh, that fucking got me. Makes sense. You were pretty quiet that episode.

I didn't, because he just, he's like a force. I was like, man, I'm not going to be able to be that funny. So it was just, it was just, he's like a foresight. I was like, man, I'm not gonna be able to be that funny. So it was just, it was great. He's fantastic. I do like his idea of living each day like it's a new, like living it out of context. Well, every time.

I like him, don't like that idea. Maybe I'm not, but maybe I'm not 40, man. Yeah, you are. That might be it. Well, let's go back and talk to you in two weeks. As of this recording, I'm in my late 30s, mid to late 30s right now. You are, and as a mid 40 year old, 40, man. That might be it. Well, let's go back and talk to you in two weeks. As of this recording, I'm in my late 30s, mid to late 30s right now.

You are, and as a mid 40 year old, let me tell you, if you turn 40 and tell yourself maybe you're not 40, slippery slope. You don't want to tell yourself that. Yeah. What if I get some work done? What's at the bottom of that slope? Yeah.

Butt hickies, dude, at the very bottom. Amanda butt hickies? Whole full of them. Or. Amanda butt hickies? A whole full of them. Or Ivana butt hickies. So if I get like- Jeffrey butt hickie. Some work done, dude. I know this is an audio medium, but like, now, that guy's 22.

That guy's not 22. That guy's weirdly 50. Sacramento 22. That shit got worse. I will have been on After Midnight at this point, too. Guys we'd be 50 Sacramento 22 she got worse I will have been on after midnight at this point to Congrats to me for winning the whole good job. How do you find the whole thing? I said cut this Isaac punch back in Isaac you can call this a punch back in punch back in yeah, and we're back

That could be a break David just gave us some pretty devastating in devastating inside Devastating inside a sacred Not the world of a say the other day. I said boomerang I said boomerang didn't think I was gonna say it that Australian the world of X1. What did I say the other day? I said boomerang, I said bimurrung. Didn't think I was gonna say it that Australian and I was pretty good at it. You were asking us what you said the other day? Well, it was when we were drafting. We were drafting,

because right next to me we were doing- Well, he was too busy laughing because he was talking. Yeah. I'm so funny, I can barely talk without laughing. No, we were drafting, we did the live auction draft that if you go on the Patreon you can listen to, but I said, bai-ma-rein. And it's better than I thought I was gonna be at saying it.

I got a little toastier than I meant to that Saturday night. Denver sneaks up on ya. It's the altitude, baby. If you let it, it'll get ya. Yeah, every time. Yeah. It is bonkers. It really, truly surprises me every single time.

Toastier than I meant to now though means I remember the entire night. Yeah, it just means you were half a second off. I was just half a second off, which is great. Which is great progress for a guy in his late 30s. Which I was at the time. You sure were. Which I was at the time.

Always a great festival. High Plains fucking rules. Thank you to everyone who came out, by the way. Two sold out shows, count them up. Yeah, that was amazing. Thank you for coming out. The stand up show was fantastic. And if you wanna hear them, go on the Patreon.

They are on the Patreon. All of the tour episodes, all of the tour episodes are there. I think this High Plains, maybe more than any of our live in it, not more than any, but the two guests, the three AFVs we recorded this High Plains, we're all really something else. Three of the best in a long time, I think.

Yeah, it was really, really good. We had, we can tell, we had Rory Scovell on. Please tell him, go to the Patreon, see him, or listen to him, yeah, Rory was on the first one. To draft a serials. Yeah, we ran it back. For the first time since the controversial Grape Nuts draft and I Do feel like I know what it's like now There are two of us who know what it feels like to get beaten to the crips

I didn't get beat that bad. I had a bunch of 12 year olds doing it. You had 300 adults doing it You didn't help yourself with the whole rest of your list, by the way. I don't wanna give it away. I believe in every single one of those picks. Every one of them. That's why I wanted to do it. We went to the dentist the other day and they said Grape Nuts is on the list of healthy cereals, so we're gonna get some Grape Nuts.

They'll be in this house. Don't tell them what I picked. Don't tell them what I picked. Sorry, yeah, I was just saying that apropos of nothing. I don't know why I even said that. I fucking strapped myself to the mast and sailed the ship into hell. And I came out the other side with a bowl of Grape Nuts. It was a trip, dude.

Rory is fantastic. I think he's got it. You wouldn't think the dentist would say the Grape Nuts are healthy. No, because it's like chewing on grapple. They seem actively harmful to your teeth. Yeah. It's like low sugar, no sugar, healthy for kids. Those and Rice Krispies, that's what's on the healthy list.

Fibre. Fibre. I didn't know Rice Krispies were healthy. We're doing the draft again. Yeah, let's move on. The second draft was an auction draft of... Live auction draft of modes of transportation. With cash in hand.

Cash in hand. On the hand. Cash in hand. On the table. And it went up. For me it did. I had never done anything like that. No, me neither. It was sick. Yeah, money from the crowd.

It was, yeah. Shane Torres declared the winner. Sean had the shonest draft I've ever heard. Of all the drafts we've done, years, years and years and years of this podcast, you had the shonest, and an auction draft no less, the shonest draft of all the drafts we've done years years and years and years of this podcast you had the shonest and an auction draft no less the shonest draft of all time and it just shook out that that's a funny thing like it shook out that's what I paid for it unknowingly ended up being yeah I think you only introduced like one or two of the things you ended up on your list I won't give

anything away but it is incredibly shawdy. It was very, very, very, very fun. So thank you for coming to those. Check out those and auction drafts, mail bags, all that kind of stuff on the Patreon. But we are gathered here today, well, who are we here today? Sean S. Jordan, Sean Cougarmel Jordan on Instagram. Sean, Sean back home for a little while or Sean DeRote? Got nothing, I mean, you know,

some personal things coming up in October that are rad, but no stand updates, going to a wedding, everybody's concerned about that. You're having your dick sharpened, right? We can say that publicly now. I can't, my mother-in-law, she can hear me. Oh, she can? Yeah, she's 20 feet away.

But no, I can't say it out loud, but yes. She'll ask me later and I'll have to tell her. You're growing a really long goatee that you're gonna braid, right? And that starts in October. Yeah, dude. I'm gonna be the new singer for Anthrax ever since Scott Ian decided

he didn't wanna be doing it anymore. Didn't think I knew that much about Anthrax. Did you, Playboy? I did not. I did. I thought you knew who Scott Ian was and that he had bad facial hair. Long goatee. But I don't think you know anything past that.

And Lain Staley had one too. I'm trying to be a mix. Would you rather have like a really long soul patch that you have to braid or a really long like goatee that you braid? Goatee. Goatee, right? Long soul patch is nasty word.

See, people do that, dude. It is so gross. Would you rather have a soul patch, so would you rather have a big soul patch, but a soul patch all the same? Nothing longer than a normal soul patch, or like a goatee, like a full goatee. Oh, like, oh, goatee.

Soul patch, a loose soul Patch is a bad look. Isn't it? It's a hard life. Because it's like, what is this decision you're making? I don't even understand it really. My hero, Sean Daly, has a Soul Patch most of the time. Has for 20 years. Atmosphere.

Atmosphere, oh, atmosphere, of course. He's got a Soul Patch almost at all moments. But, so that, but like a goatee, see like David, I think you'd look alright with a goatee. I've never seen it. But I think. Yeah, you would look good with a goatee. Have you had one ever?

Mm-mm. I have, I look like a monster. I'm not very daring with my hair. It's pretty much beard and a low cut type fade or some longer version of that. Also, a white guy goatee and a black guy's goatee are telling two different stories. Yeah.

On your face. I've seen white guys who could pull it off. I think the white guy trick is don't make it so thin. Yeah, when it gets real thin, it starts looking real weird. It doesn't look good on a, I can't think of anyone that I like it on. A lot of white guy goatees look like they're calling out to a backwards hat, like in the night,

like trying to just find their backwards. You mean my Yankee? No offense if you have a goatee, I think you look good, listener. You look great. But if you have a soul badge. Also the goatee, I feel like a lot of the goatee depends on what you do with that line in the middle? Yeah, that's a good one

I do know what you're talking about like when that is pencil thin that's that's I would say that's gone the line like lip bottom of your lip to the top of the goatee should be nothing You're taking out the soul patch. Yeah, that should be shaved, I think. Me too. Well, no I don't. I don't know. I'll try them all the next time I shave. I'm cutting the side of my beard off. I don't love it.

Well, it's not bad. Better with a beard though. I didn't think it looked bad at all. I bet. Yeah, I like a beard. Sean, I would like you to go goatee. I want you to, in October, start growing a real long one, dude. Sure, we'll call it dickhead tober.

Yeah, dickhead. Katetober's over. It's time for Dickheadtober. Sharpie man, congrats, dude. I got a dickhead face now, just for your wedding. For your wedding, bro. Fuck you, dude. David Borey is here, CoolGuyJokes87 on Instagram. You're going on the road here pretty soon.

Going on the road for the Start the Steel Tour for my other podcast. More importantly, October 24th through 27th, Bay Area, San Francisco, Hayward, El Cerrito, El Sobrani. I'm going to be at Rooster T. Feathers, October 24th through 27th in beautiful, Sunnyvale, California Please go because quite frankly they're talking clipping one of the shows and I've already bought my ticket. Yeah Let's get some Sausalito people out there while we're at it Tonians already talking about clipping one of the shows so no mights Already talking about clipping one of the shows so no mights

A month away Nap down nap down come out now All the way to say sacrament teens Medford, Oregon show up. Come on What are you doing in Medford bro go go to Karl's bed pack it up and get in the car. Go north. You're up in the Emerald Triangle, Arcada, McKinleyville, let's go, Humboldt County, you man. Yosemite Mount folk, get in there.

Calm down, I'm fighting. Yosemite Valley folk. Yosemite Valley folk. Oh yeah. Even over to Utah, or maybe not over to Utah. Anyone living on Alcatraz, go ahead and make that swim that I could also do. I hate to break it to you, brother.

Yeah, I think you like breaking it to me. Every time, I bring it up a lot. You think you could do the swim? No. Yeah. What? Have you said, have I been exposed to this opinion before? He said this before.

Yeah. He said this before to us. Well, I still don't think you could. I just climbed Mount St. Helens, so it's about the same thing. Yeah, yeah. About 100 people swim from Alcatraz to the mainland every day, right?

Just like St. Helens? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know the numbers. I don't think anybody. I know the bay can be pretty choppy. Yeah, I mean, I think if it was like a lap pool, I could do it, but not through the ocean.

But if it was like that distance in a lap pool, I could do it. When was the last time, now it's salt water, so it's a little more buoyant. But when was the last time you were in a lap pool I could do it. When was the last time, now it's salt water, so it's a little more buoyant, but when was the last time you were in a body of water when your feet not touching the ground at all? Not a pool. Not a pool, you mean like a, I mean I was in a lake.

I was in the lake, Osaba Lake, you know, a month ago. How far did you get from the shore? I paddle boarded and then I got off the paddle board. I didn't swim out. But I think I could, I really, I think we all could. I don't see any reason we all couldn't get from A to B. I don't see a reason. That distance.

I think you could do it. No. Why? I just, I don't see why not. We've literally never swam together in a real situation. Hold on. What are you looking up? How can you swim from Alcatraz to shore?

Yes, it's possible, but it's challenging. Said the same thing about Mount St. Helens about a month ago. It could take 20 minutes to over an hour, depending on your ability and the conditions. 20 minutes? 20 minutes to an hour, to over an hour. The temperature can range from the high 40s to 65 degrees.

If it's 65, maybe. 65, not choppy, and I'm in a really good mood. Maybe? Okay, so it actually says it's not as challenging as one may think based on popular lore about sharks and freezing waters. I like this, I like what I'm hearing. This is according to Odyssey Open Water.

You're just, that's recording to some guy on Twitter. That's the guy on Twitter, Odyssey Open Water. You're just, that's recording some guy on Twitter. That's the guy on Twitter, Odyssey Open Water. This is according to at Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. My cousin Steve, he did it. I saw it. No, we were standing out there, Kyle and I one time, and I was just looking, and I was like, I think I could do it, and he just looked over,

and he's like, do what? I mean, he was so mad that I said it. But it just looks like he could do it. Anyway, I've sidetracked. I diverted the conversation. Wow, swims usually have a limit of 100 swimmers, and this place does them three to four times a year. All right, I apologize.

I still don't think you could, but I do think one might. I'll take it. That's a step up from where we were. My name is Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and soon on the AARP website as I am. The time of you hearing this. Forty years old. Drop a bomb on it.

That's my car insurance. Wait, no, what's the military one? Iceman, drop a bomb on it. Why, Isaac, why don't you get... I just dropped it. Isaac, are you there finally? Yeah, yeah, I'm here. Would you?

He's so mad. No, I'm not mad. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. sound effects. Yeah, yeah for sure. Very liberally. Great. It's just the three of us so we might as well, right? Yeah, yeah. Tornado Sirens. I'll do it in a way that supports universal healthcare. Thank you. Forgiveness of student loans. Yes. Liberal. Great. Kind of shoehorned that in there, didn't he? Hahahaha.

Hahahaha. We put in that, that's the sound of the police, put in that sound effect right now, after you said that. That one? Yeah. That was me. Isaac, how was your second night of high plane, or third night I guess, you ended up getting a wet or what?

Third night? Speaking of wet, getting it wet. Getting it wet. No, I- In honor of the draft. You guys saw me leave. Yeah, that's why we wanna know. I left very early in the west though. No, I... In honor of the draft. You guys saw me leave. Yeah, that's why we wanna know. I left very early in the night. Yeah, that's true.

I was so exhausted. But we don't know where you were going. We didn't know where you were going. I went straight back to David Borey's house. Yeah, I saw him. You could have been going to a chateau in the hills, man. We don't know. I could have, for sure.

Are there chateaus in Denver? There's chateaus in the mountains. Chateaus everywhere. Okay, yeah. I don't know. I could have for sure. Are there chateaus in Denver? There's chateaus in the mountains. Chateaus everywhere. Okay yeah I don't know do they have wine in them? Do they make wine in Denver? I thought a chateau was just a big mansion on a hill. It means castle right? Listen. What? Did you smash or not? What am I thinking of? Ski chalet? There is Colorado wine country though out in Lake Palisade, there is Colorado wine country. Colorado style, Denver style wine dude, inside. I'm gonna kill Mandel. Call back.

What? What? Denver style? Denver style? Denver style. Denver style. Denver style. Denver style.

Denver style. Denver style. Denver style. Denver style. Denver style. I don't have anything to promote. Buy T-shirts, full club. I think, keep your eye, at some point,

the publisher is doing a promotion where you can get the ebook for $1.99. They're doing that one, which I have been assured, because I sent a panicked email, is not because people are mad at me. Did you try to be cool, like, hey it's 1.99. That's dope why Also what like what does this mean like the books not selling well, they're like no no It's a it's like this big book club website that does it every now and then

I don't know, but I immediately assumed. I'm like well and then I don't know, but I immediately assumed, I'm like, well, I'm finished. I'm finished with publishing. That was panic, but trying to be cool about it emails. I mean, that's most of them that I send, honestly. It's just such a, oh, I'm so roughity. I still do so many emojis and shit in emails. Nobody likes it.

Exclamation points, too. I don't know, I don't know what it is. It's my mom, I was raised by my mom. You've seen it, you've seen the proof. I don't know how it is. It's my mom, I was raised by my mom. You've seen it, you've seen the proof. I don't know how to get out of it. It's a company called Bookbub, sorry to just go back. Bookbub. No, you're good. The dates of the discount, October 23rd through October 29th.

The ebook will be discounted at all accounts in the United States, but there will be a Bookbub email blast that promotes it directly. I don't know what that means, baby, but you if you're a member of Bookbub, the industry's largest email promoter, you can get the book for hella cheap. You motherfuckers. Good place for air horns right there. But we're not here to talk about Bookbub,

the industry leader in email book discount promotion. We are here to fantasy draft wet stuff. You don't like it? I don't like wet stuff, man. I like it. I do not. We'll see, it's a gross list. And this is what I was gonna say off air. I think they I

Think you like wet stuff more than you you you always are like I don't like wet stuff and then you say a ton of wet shit that you like. It's very confusing. Yeah You don't see that too much. You're wet. You love wet stuff. I think you like wet stuff I don't know if you've I've ever seen you eat a dry thing That's it is true. I don't like dry stuff. I don't know if you've, I've ever seen you eat a dry thing. That's- It is true, I don't like dry stuff. I don't like-

Sean! That's, that was, that was crazy though. Right? We all heard that. That was nuts. Come on, man. Everything is dry. Almost everything is dry. My bed's dry.

My car's dry. You're right. You're right. Almost everything is dry. And I just said I don't like dry stuff. You haven't yelled at me like that for a while. What could you possibly... You... You... If you don't like dry stuff and you don't like wet stuff, what do you like? Yeah, nothing? Moist stuff.

Moist is wet. I don't like this. You think moist is wet? Moist is wet. Is damp wet? Damp? Damp is damp right before wet. Yeah. It goes damp, moist, wet. It goes damp, moist, wet for sure.

It goes damp, moist, wet. If we were a boy band, damp, moist, wet, who would be who? I don't like what the implications of this question. Isaac would be soaked. Yeah. Isaac would be soaked. The way he was dressed and in that leather jacket deal, Isaac would be soaked. Yeah. Isaac would be soaked. The way he was dressing in that leather jacket,

dude, Isaac would be soaked for sure. Hey, what's up? I'm their manager, soaked Lee. Isaac and I dressed the same one night. My name's Mr. My name's Dr. Lube. I manage Wet Boys Den. Bro.

We dressed the same one night at High Plains and then he had to show up in that same outfit But with a leather jacket, I don't think I've been so thoroughly stunted on With the fur the first stuff called Shirley Shirley. Yeah, look great You guys all like it. I think brother. It was a good fashion weekend for all of us. Everybody was hitting Everybody was it After party though, that's the only thing I missed trying, jeans and a t-shirt. I didn't go to a school after party though, that's the only thing I missed out on.

You didn't miss much. You missed nothing, I was at probably. No, one night we didn't got good times, it was what I wanted to do. I was four minutes total of after parties. One of them was like 10 seconds, the other one was over three minutes, but that was the, that Saturday when we're inside Ian

and you're like, come on and dance, and I go no, I can't do it, and you like, come on, I go no and you're like, okay. And then you just let it be, that was it. And then I left. I wanted to get in like five to 10 minutes of dancing. I was like, I gotta shake a leg a little bit. It's like you're not trying to get cardio situation,

but you have to remember what it's like to be out there. I was just trying to do this. Oh yeah. And I did it. Well, John array was on the ones and twos so I had to get hard to figure out what kind of moving to do I'll bring it up. I brought it up to him Yeah Great to see you. Oh, right. Yeah drafting Wet stuff and the way we determine the order of that draft is a rollicking game of rock-paper-scissors

Play between the two of you we is a rollicking game of rock paper scissors play between the two Of you we throw on shoot here we go rock paper scissors shoot You're give me the rope a dope David had his other hand up yeah, oh I didn't even think about that I got two computer screens going on right now, so it's like This is not a good setup for me. You're insider trading on one of them, right? Yeah.

I was gonna say the other one was just like the BangBus. What is it on? I don't know. It's Milf Hunter on the other one. Do you remember that where that would casually, not do you remember it, but do you remember kids like casually just kind of watching it? Do I remember it right before this podcast?

Yeah, I remember. People would just watch it though. You know, or like show you. What do you mean, like at remember it right before this podcast? Yeah, I remember. People would just watch it though. You know, or like show you. What do you mean like at parties? What are you doing? Yeah, yeah. Like when everything was. No, I've heard of this lore.

I was never in those scenes. When everything was new. When everything was new. When the sun was in the second house. When it was. I was never in a public pornography scene. We were. People would watch them at parties.

Yeah, we was. Well, anyway. Well, as the winner, I think coming up on you to determine the order of today's draft, before you do that, we'll remind you that this is an early draft. And what is that? That's a great question.

It's like a conga line at a wedding. A little bit. You get it. Just kind of sliding through, picking up strangers, but going left to right, right to left, just gliding through, everyone's having a good time, holding the hips. Conga line at a wedding.

One of the better ones I've had. You start over here by the drinks, and then you conga line over to the laptop where a bunch of people are watching 8th Street Latina videos, and then you conga line back over to the drinks. And then you conga line over to this pocket of old guys that are like, I don't know, I think it's real, bro.

I really think they're doing that, and I don't think that's cool, you know? Just like leaving the girls there. Oh, okay, okay, you could have been referring to anything, man. No, yeah, I thought I was talking about the Bang Bustle. 9-11 did. The early 90s, as a kid, really had me thinking that I was gonna be engaged in a lot more conga lines

as an adult than I was. Absolutely, yeah dude. I don't think I ever, I don't know the last time I got in a conga, if ever. Did we have one at my wedding? I can't remember, I don't remember one at yours, Ian, or was it? No, people were really dancing at Ian's wedding.

Yeah, we had, if it woulda happened anywhere, it woulda happened to mine, and we didn't have a conga line. We had a hora. Yeah, we had, if it would've happened anywhere, it would've happened to mine, and we didn't have a conga line. We had a hora. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, kinda a Jewish conga line. I saw quite a few horas there. Come on, come on.

It was right there, I had to say it. Come on, come on, give it up. I didn't mean to disperse the folks at the wedding. I didn't say they were your friends. Who, name them. No. Name them, name even one. They were outside.

Identify them by name. No, I can't do that. Visuals. They were one. They're outside Identify them by name. No They're outside Yeah, they're outside. All right Every weather they're on a bunch of horrors out there. No Absolutely not doubled down. All right KFC double damn bro. I never had one of those That where the bun is chicken a bridge too far. Yeah Is that where the bun is chicken? A bridge too far. Yeah, the bun is chicken. I never had one, but I was never against it.

I'd eat it right now in a heartbeat. See, I would not be condescended to by KFC like that. Yeah, it felt like this is what you want, isn't it, fatty? Exactly, that's exactly what it felt like. You want a bacon cheese sandwich with no bread. Eat it out of a fucking trough. Eat it out of the gutter. We'll throw it in the gutter.

And you can have it for free. That's what you want, right? I feel like KFC, even more than Taco Bell, got the whole it's gross because it's bad for you from people. They didn't want to sound like they liked it. You know that we had the whole conversation about Taco Bell where people were like,

no, it's gross. And you're like, no, no, it's bad for you. I feel like KFC even got that worse. Like with the bowls and stuff, those are dope. They're just very bad for you. I feel like KFC even got that worse. Like with the bowls and stuff, those are dope. They're just very bad for you. So people said they're gross. It's some stand up, didn't Patton Oswald or somebody have a bit about the KFC famous bowl?

He may have, but I don't see what's gross about it. Chicken mashed potatoes, corn, gravy, cheese. It's great, great to me. Cheese is a wild move on there. Ah, get some cheese on there, why not? Of course, yeah. But the KFC Double DM was like pornographic. It's like, what are you doing here, come on.

I've had that with a bun, I've had that sandwich probably just with a bun on it, like two chicken breasts. I forget what I was watching the other day, but I heard someone say, what is civilization but fighting off your instincts? Or something like that. Society is man's attempt to fight off his instincts. What was I watching?

God, it looks nasty in real life too. Yeah. You looking at it? Yeah, I pulled it up. It's fucking gross. This is gross. It was Friday Night Lights. That's where the quote was from.

What? That's what they're talking about on that show? Smash was trying to get with that girl whose father is the preacher. And she was in class. Oh, with Waverly? Yeah, Waverly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you rewatching Friday Night Lights right now? Dana's never seen it. Oh.

Yeah. That's the old TV where it's like, well, eventually we'll get to the draft, I swear. But 22 episodes can stay with you guys for the duration. That's old TV where it's like, well eventually we'll get to the draft, I swear, but 22 episodes a season where you're like, I would love a tender medium where we're like 15. 22 is a lot, dude. I don't know, I don't notice on that show at all.

I'm trying to get to Devil Town. I'm trying to get to the end, but yeah. It's in the first episode, that song, and the last, but yeah. It's not in the first. They do in the very first episode, they play it. At the end? Maybe the second.

No, I think it's just the last episode, and this is not important. It is too important. We'll figure it out off air. We'll get back. I would bet you $10 that it's in the first episode during the parade, I guarantee it. I'll take that bet for sure.

Or the second episode. I think that's at the end. Oh, the end of the first, sorry, the end of the first season. Yes. Sorry. That's what I'm saying. You're right, none of this is good.

Isaac Airhorns over all that, you're right. Do not, Isaac, make it more clear than ever. More clear than ever. And I'll come back in. Yeah, Ian, like I was saying, it's the last episode of the first season. You were saying the last episode of the series, so yeah, I'm right.

I certainly was not. I think you were. You owe me $10, brother. So I'm gonna go first. Okay, basically if you pick third and the first, you're the first in the Zach around. I'm gonna go first, then Ian, then David. Oh, hot corn?

It's very wet here in the middle. David and I are the chicken breasts to your middle of the sandwich. A third chicken breast? What was in the middle, ham? A third chicken breast. What are those, bacon and cheese? Christ almighty.

Sean Jordan, you have the first pick in the wet stuff, All Fantasy, Everything Fantasy Draft, and we're gonna get to that first pick right after this very wet break. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, a new question for you this week. I wanna know what scares you. Doesn't matter how big or small.

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but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash all fantasy. Get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash all fantasy spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash all fantasy rules and restrictions may apply. And we're back, welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, the only podcast that has ever existed. We're drafting wet stuff, Sean Jordan has the first pick. Kisses. I knew I was gonna say it weird. Kisses.

I want some wet kisses. I do, I like them. I like wet ones. You said it in the wettest way. No! I do like wet ones. You said it in the wettest way too. For somebody who doesn't like wet stuff,

you really came in strong. I know. Sean Jordan's Alfredo Kisses. Like that movie, what's that movie? Oh? Bull Durham We're Kevin Costner's given them where they where they pull apart, and there's the cruel intentions. Yeah, yeah That's like that's how you like to kiss no Well, that's wet

Well, it's kiss. I don't like to see it so if somebody recorded and showed it to me probably not but Yeah, yeah, I mean I do that's when it's on it's on and I don't kiss your wife Yeah No, you goddamn business. Yeah, you don't I'm keeping it way down You said that though, huh? You're still wet kissing your wife tell us I was like, yeah. You're still wet kissing your wife? Tell us.

Say that in the sentence, I still wet kiss my wife. I'll tell you, this is my goddamn house. And yeah, I still wet kiss my wife. Cause you went to the bank, you found this house, you worked out the mortgage, and it's nice of you to let your mother-in-law stay there. Yeah, I did all that. Well, you were there, you were involved.

I didn't wear basketball shorts when we signed our mortgage. I definitely didn't have basketball shorts on. Fuckin' Michael Jordan wore basketball shorts when he signed his mortgage, dude, that's all right. One of the many parallels between me and Michael Jordan. It's because Larry Bird sold it to him. That's right. I don't know why that was funny to me.

Sometimes it doesn't make sense, but it is. It is funny that Larry Bird sold Michael Jordan the house. You it doesn't make sense, but it is. It is funny though. Larry Bird sold Michael Jordan a house. You're gonna love this place, Michael. Michael Jordan's house, so it's in Highland Park, Illinois, which is where Dana is from, and you would think it was like on the lake or something like that.

It's not. It is way closer to a mall than you would think. I was, so that's where the whole loan house is? Is that where I was? That's in Highland Park? You were in Skokie or something like that. Those houses, I've never seen any neighborhood like that, including Beverly Hills or the nicest neighborhoods.

I've never seen anything like that Home Alone neighborhood. It was insane how nice and huge those houses were. Those houses on the lake in Chicago are like crazy in all the northern suburbs. And they're all like three million dollars. Yeah. You're saying that that's not a lot, right, for what you're getting?

Exactly. Like it would be $30 million in LA. But it's 18 degrees in the winter. So I guess that's the change. 18 degrees and gorgeous, and your whole house has its own ecosystem when it's that big, so I guess that's the change. 18 degrees and gorgeous, and your whole house has its own ecosystem when it's that big, so who gives a rip?

Wet kisses, dude. I'm gonna down. You like them wet. I wouldn't, I don't, okay. You only like wet kisses in a romantic situation? I don't, yeah, I don't like, I don't want to like a peck on the cheek from like an old uncle. No, and I don't, even right like right now sounds gross. Yeah, but when it's on it's on

I think it does I think it does but when it's on it's on and then it's not so far this thing from gross You know what I mean? You also like butterfly kisses, right? At night? Yeah Yeah, and little red flowers all up in her hair Man, I think that's Laura's least favorite song I play it sometimes and she gets actually upset. I'll just put it on the I'll put it right now Are you playing it for her like out in the living room? I'll play it out in the living room right now Is that what it's like to be married D? That's at least a third of it that and stuff adjacent to that yeah

Butterfly kisses, I feel like there's a reason we didn't hear about Bob Carlyle a lot more Well, there was that shoes song that that new shoes song or whatever that he also sang where they did the SNL sketch Two years ago, maybe that's Bob Carlyle, that's his second, that's his other song. Wait, am I an asshole? Isaac, can someone look at, you know I never look things up because I'm worried I'm gonna.

Are you also gonna do Walkin' in Memphis? Bob Carlyle? I'm worried I'm gonna stop recording if I ever look something up, so I never look stuff up when we're talking. If I do, it's on my phone. Yeah, Bob Carlyle, I think he had that other new shoe song, but anyway, Butterfly Kisses,

far from what I'm talking about. If that butterfly just went through a monsoon, then that's the kind of Butterfly Kiss I want. Bro, he has an album called The Ballads of Barb Carlisle. That's a great title. Bob, The Ballads of Bob Carlisle. I did say Barb. That's a great title though, damn.

Isn't it good? That's one of those ones I wish I had got to at first. You're coming out and saying the balance of? Self-appointed? Oh, I thought you said the balance. I thought you said balance. Oh no, that's great. Some Zen shit, I gotcha.

The balance of David Bowie is still available. Or her, you could call him the balance of Bob Carlyle. That's what I want. Christmas shoes, there it is, Christmas shoes. Thank you, Isaac. I'm familiar. Well, it sucks. What's it about? It's Thank you Isaac. Yeah. Well it sucks About this kid who wants to buy his mom some new shoes But he tries to pay with like 20 cents or something and the guy behind him does this good deed

It's giving me goosebumps talking about it if the song didn't suck so bad. It's a good premise the guy behind him Give me goosebumps talking about it. If the song didn't suck so bad, it's a good premise. The guy behind him buys the shoes for the kid. And wait, his mom dies in the end of the video. So there you go. She dies at the end. She's like terminal. From the shoes.

They turned out to be haunted shoes. They're cancer shoes. The shoes, when they, the flap opens up and there's teeth in there. And the shoe teeth were chasing her around the house and they caught her and killed her. The salesperson working at Macy's was Jigsaw. So when they bought the shoes, they were on a timer.

And the guy who bought the shoes was also Jigsaw. There were two Jigsaws. I don't want to do this. One of them was on a tricycle. Was Jigsaw like a person? Yes. So in the first couple saws. He was like a ghost or something?

In the first couple saws, Jigsaw is the old guy. He is the guy that, the puppet master behind the whole thing. And then in one of them, he's sick and dies. Or maybe he doesn't. Oh yeah, Jigsaw gets cancer, right? He gets cancer. But then he has like a protege, a younger woman,

who takes over as Jigsaw. And then I think he comes back. Cack-saw. There's... Yeah. Saw-zall. So I feel like cancer is a needlessly serious thing to bring into the Saw universe.

Yeah, it's already going down. Yeah, I'm gonna need to start bringing that into it, actual stuff. Yeah. Sean. Wet kisses, that's how we got there. It's that kind of show. We'll take you on a long ride.

It's fun. Time for my first pick. And this seems wet more than a liquid, even though it than a liquid. Even though it is a liquid. It's wet. I'm taking blood. Yeah, okay. Really?

Yeah. You really like it? It's important. If you kiss wet enough, it gets bloody, so I feel you. It is. It is important. I don't love seeing it. I don't think it's usually a good thing when I see it. It's more of a it gets bloody, so I feel you. It is important. I don't love seeing it. I don't think it's usually a good thing when I see it.

It's more of a you love the taste. I do actually kind of love the taste of blood. I kind of like it. My own blood, yeah. It's interesting to me. You know it's blue before your skin opens up, bro. You know that's not true. Yeah, I do, that's why I kind of went like that, like I was in middle school.

Yeah. I don't like the irony, I don't like the irony taste. I'm gonna do it. Too much iron in your blood. Also, if you see it, if your own blood, like if you get a nosebleed and then a couple drops fall on like concrete, it does look cool. How'd you get the nosebleed?

Is it just from being a dork or did you get the fight? Well, I used to get nosebleeds super bad when I was a little kid. Well yeah, because you were on Fat Yada. I was fucking... Mother, this cocaine smells a little queer. I was trying to get through fucking Moby Dick, dude. You don't do that.

You don't do that natural. You get started bleeding all over the page. Melville didn't do that sober. White whales, dude. I was doing thick white whales. That's what you call it was doing thick white whales. That's what you call it. Thick white whales.

I was hunting my own white whale while I was reading Moby Dick, come on. Come on, we all grew up in the 90s, we didn't know it was bad for you yet. No, it was still cool. Yeah. Had all that 80s residue on it. Yeah, dude.

I have never got a nosebleed that wasn't from impact. Oh, really? You never got like a dry nosebleed? Uh-uh. I just got sensitive like the rest of us. I can pick out, so when I go back home, there'll be bloody bugs and stuff, but they don't get nosebleedy.

Bloody bugs, dude. When we first moved to Colorado, I got nosebleeds. Yeah. I will get them from altitude and dry nose. I used to just get them a lot when I was a kid, and then I had that cocaine nosebleeds? I will get them from altitude and dry nose. I used to just get them a lot when I was a kid, and then I had that cocaine nosebleed. A short period there. That's a good name for a song.

Cocaine nosebleed? It's gotta be one. It has to be a song. Has, has, what were you, has to be? It has to be, dude. I get too excited sometimes. It's all that coke. But blood, it's important.

It's in us. I don't think we appreciate it enough. Just shout out to blood dude. Shout out to Da 5 Bloods, Spike Lee Joint. Great movie. Shout out to blood. Blood doesn't gross me out. Blood in, blood out, yeah.

Big shout, that movie is hard. Bound by Honor originally. That was the name of that movie? Yeah. Yeah, but then it's. If you look up the posters, that's, wait, isn't that like the, I thought it was that. I thought it was actually called that.

Blood In Blood Out? And then, didn't I text you about this, David, when I watched it like a year ago on the treadmill? You corrected me then. I thought it was called Bound by Honor for real and Blood in Blood Out was like the subtitle or something. Isaac Airhorn's over almost everything I've said. This is great.

This is great. It's what it comes down to. When people are like, hey, what's a good episode? I wanna get into all fantasy everything. That live one with Harper from Rev Hall. Does blood gross you out? That is a good one. Me? No.

Like, can you see, can you see, I can see pretty much all the blood you can see. It's, I don't know, it doesn't bother me. But how much blood have you seen? IRL? I have to be concerned. Yeah. Have you seen I have to be concerned?

Yeah, for sure. I mean, I've seen quite a bit. I've seen my hands full of my own blood before. I haven't seen like a, I don't know. That's a really good question. I don't think I've ever seen a ton of blood. I don't either. I think that might change my conception of it. I've seen a bunch of deer blood all over the road.

I've seen that, fresh. I saw it all over your face because you smeared it after you took the kill. Yeah, dude. Don't talk about a wet kiss. And his liver in the field. So. Love is my first pick, David,

it's time for your first and second picks. First pick. First pick, I'm taking nipples. Yep. Pretty cool. They're not that wet. When they are. Pretty cool when they are. I thought we were picking stuff that's better wet.

Well, blood is better wet. Yeah. I don't know about kisses. Or nipples. Nipples, I agree. Okay, yeah, absolutely. Kisses are way better wet. You like a dry kiss? I don't even think that exists. No, no, no.

Somebody was pushing back on you. It's a sliding scale. I'll fucking kill you. You think I won't? I'll dry your mouth out, pour milk in it, and kiss you. You were fighting a phantom menace right now. My knife will be wet, dude. How about that?

That's my next pick. Come over. See what happens. You want to see a ton of blood. You keep going up and down. You keep going up and down. You keep going up and down. You keep going up and down.

You keep going up and down. You keep going up and down. You keep going up and down. You keep going and kiss you. You were fighting a fundamental trait. My knife will be wet, dude, how about that? That's my next pick. Come over, see what happens. You wanna see a ton of blood, you keep going down the road you're going. Oh, man. Wet nipples for sure. Wet nipples for sure gross me out.

You don't like a wet nipple? No. Did we talk about how you don't like wet stuff? Like jewelry, was that you? That's me. Yeah, that was me. Oh, you, yeah, yeah. I think about, I'd never thought about that, now I think about it all the time,

and it grosses me out now. I like caught an ick from you. But wet nipples? Mm-mm. That's how you get them to stimulate you. I can barely like the word nipple. I can barely handle that word even. I don't like the word.

Nipple? Yeah, bothers me. I love the sight of a nice hard nipple. Hard? How do you usually get hard? How loud are you willing to say hard, wet nipple? Ha ha ha ha! Not that loud.

How loud are you willing to say it? I will clear the $10 debt. I'll give you $20. Well, how loud? If you yell nipple right now, yell it. Hard, wet nipple. Hard, yell nipple right now hard yell it hard wet nipple are doable no real I Can't do it

I can't do it. I can hear them. I can hear them having a having a reasonable room tone conversation You know what that HWN I can't do it. Come on. Come on. I'll throw in 20. You're the bad boy of AFE. Can I mix up the order of the words? Nope. Wait, wait. Nipple hard wet? What do you think would be better?

What's the more? I think I start with hard nipple wet. Wet nipple hard is also bad. Yeah, that is bad. Wet nipple hard, that's what Bon Jovi was gonna go by before he landed on John Before they went on job on wet nipple hard hard nipple wet You sound like two people having an argument

You know what people say on set when they want to look like they're talking but they're not actually talking? Hard nipple wet, hard nipple wet, hard nipple wet, hard nipple wet. If you're the key grip and you gotta take a dump, that's what you say. Hard nipple wet sounds like if Shane Torres in the 1800s embedded with like a tribe and they finally gave him his name. If he was in Dances with Wolves and then he proved himself. And they're like, hard nipple wet's going to marry my daughter. You know what's funny is when she hears all this and I go out,

I'm like, yes, I was at work. That's why you got blasted. Yeah, come on, man. You're paying for that room she's in right now. I can't do it. Yeah, come on man. You're paying for that room she's in right now. I can't do it. I was like, I opened Venmo. To what? You ain't ever getting that 10 bucks.

What are you gonna give me 10 bucks? I was gonna send you money. Can I say hard nipple what? David. Oh, I was trying to listen for you. I thought, I heard trying to listen for, I thought, I heard some girls on bikes outside and I thought it was Lauren and them coming in

and then I was really excited. Girls on bikes, man, they're opening for TV on the radio next week at Red Rocks. Hit them with it. Hit them with it. Hard, nipple, wet. That was such a cop out. Yeah. I don't know what else. Do you want me to go out and say it?

I can't do it. I can't go say it to her. That was not even. Give her me to go out and say it to I can't do it I can't go say it to her Did yell it well now so I just heard someone walk over to the door I swear to God Cuz if you're having a stroke It doesn't sound like it makes a ton of sense. I Can't believe it's funny that you don't want to do it that much. I'll do my next pick Hold on. I'm sending Sean three dollars and eighty six cents. All right. Yeah, get him a job on hold on That's all that's all you really are in there. Try another payment note. Oh, you can't you can't have nipple be the reason you pay someone

That's actually good on them. Yeah, that's good. Good job, Benimaw. Yeah, they're trying to save you from yourself on that one. What? Wet works. David Bowie, time for your second pick. I mean, this is so weird because I did mine weird. Oh, a burp. Oh no, you like that? Oh, I like it way better. Sometimes you get that dry run

and it rattles your cage and makes your chest hurt. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. It seems like a dust storm. Yeah, but the feeling after a full, deep, wet one. There is a thin line, but a wet burp, like when you barf in your mouth. Yeah, there is. That's a wet burp, too. wet burnt, like when you barf in your mouth. Yeah, there is.

That's a wet burp too. I'm on the right side of history on this one. But you're just coming just short of that wet. Just like when it has that full timber. Yeah. Like when it adds, like the moisture adds the vibrato. I do like that. It feels very organic.

Yeah. The burps feel like very, almost like, I don't know, like a desert, you know? It feels bad, but wet burps feels like you're alive. Wet burps feel like you're an organism and dry burps feel like you are a skeleton. Exactly. Like that burp, my bone is just burped.

Exactly. I'm like a dry burp. But wet burp, you feel, you feel like, yeah, you feel in tune. We give me any money if I yell wet burp? No. I had to try. I'll send you 48, I'll send you 48 cents. Wet burp.

I'll give it to you when I see you in person. That'd be nice. I appreciate your brother. See you in a week or two. I appreciate you, brother. I haven't had a wet burp, I don't really burp all that much. I have a long section in my book about wet burps. I forget what chapter it's in, but just burping up food. That's not ringing any bells for some reason, and I read the whole book.

It's all right. I was thinking, I was seeing if it did. I was seeing if you could quote chapter and verse. No. book. It's all right. I was thinking, I was seeing if it did. I was seeing if you could quote chapter and verse. No. Well, it's all right. I get like bubbly water burps. Those are about the only burps I get. Those are burps.

Oh, my wife can't burp. She's never barfed, right? Am I making that up? I think she's barfed. She is incapable of burping. Burping. Burping. I met someone recently who has the same thing apparently.

Like I didn't know it was a thing. She like can't, like she can't make herself do it. She's never birfed. How do they release it? Can you guys do it on purpose? Can you do like... Oh I can burp with the drop of a hat. Okay.

Burp, burp. Burp. Just... Isaac maybe cut that out. Yeah, well. I don't know if people want that. I don't know. I don't know. I'm gonna make it louder Isaac You're gonna make it listen. I'm not embarrassed just because people pretend like you all burp Relax Isaac. Are you capable of auto tuning with your with your race? I actually can yeah, can you auto tune that burp?

It probably won't catch on the tuner, but I'll try Can you auto tune my nextp? It probably won't catch on the tuner, but I'll try. Can you auto tune my next pick? Yeah, of course. Okay, great. Well, are we done talking about wet burp? Yeah. Yeah, I got it. That's great.

All right, with my second pick, I'm going to take Razor Ramone. Amazing pick. Amazing. From the WWE. What a love. That sounded great. He, that dude is dripping.

My favorite wrestler from back in the day, Razor Ramone, that dude showed up wet. You're showing up wet? A lot of wrestlers end up wet. He showed up wet. Yeah. Wet body, wet hair, wet taco meat. One of the most taco meated wrestlers of all time.

Got a big vest on. Big vest. Toothpick, right? Dropping the Rage's edge on people. Damn, you're wrestling with a toothpick in his mouth. You gotta be, you have to be wet all day. If you're Razor Ramon, you have to be wet all day. He was wet all day in a way where, was it grease?

I think he maybe, I think the hair was greasy. And I think maybe that got him, and then he put like some sort of body oil on the rest of his muscles. What do they do, they like Vasolinum? Is it body oil? Cause Ultimate Warrior was always, he was wet as hell too.

Some of them were just soaked. A lot of those wrestlers were wet and I think it was body oil, yeah. But he had it in his hair too. Does body oil do anything for you? Other than make you look wet. Sexually? Yeah, I know, it'll make you glide.

Yell hot body oil, I'll give you 10 bucks. Hot, so weird. Hot body oil. You are so, ladies and gentlemen, I want you to know he's pulling his punches. You are sure. Well, Max is taking a nap, I can't scream it. You're subtly pulling your head back as you yell,

as like the three inches is gonna make enough of a difference. They're 11 feet from me at most right now. At moist. You're in the dojo. At moist with a door that's not shut. Heard every single thing we've said, guarantee it. Are you embarrassed to the things you said?

No, I just, when you only hear one third of it, it's embarrassing. I'm not embarrassed, but there are things that will go out and I'm gonna have to be like, yeah, I was yelling, wet, hard, nipple. At you. Ian, pick boners next. I'm on Razor Ramon, AKA Scott Hall.

Oh, I don't need that. Yeah, I don't like that. If you go to his Wikipedia, there's a picture of Scott Hall in 1986. Hold on, I'm gonna put it in the chat. You would never guess in your entire life, listeners go to his Wikipedia page, that this is the same guy who would become Razor Ramon.

He looks like an offensive lineman for the Wisconsin Badgers. The bones are there. Weird. Yeah, look, his chest, his whole situation, his whole torso's covered in perfect hair. That's what I will say about that picture. The head though. The head is all, the head's all wrong. Well, I think the hair got cherry-blossomed. Yeah, well he doesn't look like a villain there.

I wonder if he has any Latino in him, or if he was just straight up doing I guess so was um, Al Pacino he's just Italian you mean Al Pacino wasn't a poor Puerto Rican What have I told you that I was a poor Puerto Rican man In a prison tent village outside of Miami. I'm losing it. If I ever had it. He's dead, he's dead. Not Al Pacino, but Scott Hall.

And so we move on with the pick. Razor Ramon, I fucking loved that guy back in the day. Was he your favorite? Yeah, big time. Pretty cool guy. Big time. He was tight. Ravishing Rick Rude was my favorite.

Pretty, I think, well actually he was pretty dry now that I think about it. Yeah, there were some very dry wrestlers, dude. Definitely. Yeah. Razor Ramon, not one of them. Wet as hell, my second pick. Sean Jordan, time for your second and third picks.

Second pick, I gotta go Water Slides. Yeah, those are way better when they're wet. Like a water... Yeah, you got it. But water, I mean, I was at a water park this summer. Haven't been to a water park in quite some time. They're so, you just forget how fun they are. Scary now that I'm old.

They had one of those, the straight down ones, or they look like they're straight down from the top. You know what I mean? Yeah. And there down from the top. You know what I mean? Yeah. And there's like a tunnel. You know what, I lied to you just then. No, I'm not gonna tell you enough about water slides. They're the ones that go straight,

they look like, they're real steep ones, the very top. They've got the cap over, or the tunnel, like you said, the tunnel. Yeah, so it was like 15 feet of a tunnel, but that slanted a little bit, and then with being an adult, I think you just fly off a little more than you want to. I think it's still safe because they still let you do it.

That doesn't mean it's safe, but safe enough. But I was in the air for like second and a half, you know, of like, felt like a free fall before you connect back to the slide. And that is a wild feeling. It would take some doing to get me on a water slide. Now that I'm 20. Just a regular water slide?

What about the easy one? Yeah, maybe an easy one. With the tube. Yeah, I guess an easy one if I could see it all from the outside, if I knew what I was getting myself into. I don't think I've been on a water slide in multiple decades. What about the toilet bowl ones?

You know those ones that you kind of, you're like a, they kind of flush you down a toilet and you end up in a tube? Those are dank. Yeah. Maybe this will be my water slide decade. Whoa, that would be cool. Oh, I'm counting your new forties.

I just get really, this is gonna be my wet decade, I think, actually. Your wet kid? I think my forties is gonna be my wet decade. Sounds like my twenties. Yeah. Yeah, wet decade. Sounds like my 20s. Yeah, I already. No, it doesn't. Fortunately, I don't mind.

My 30s. My 30s were a wet decade. Yeah. Wettest of my life so far. But not so far. Yeah, I've been. Yeah, water slides is a good pick. Those are wet as hell.

What's the best water slide you've ever been on? What's the best water slide you've ever been on? What's the best water slide you've ever been on? I went to the place where they filmed Bill and Ted's. Was that, what they? Sandinist. Sandinist, Raging Waters maybe? Raging Waters. Oh yeah. Yeah dude.

I went and as a whole that experience, I was seven. So what I remember of it was the best experience I could have at a water park. Yeah. Other than that, I mean, probably the one, Wild Water West back home, but just the, like I was just saying, just one of those straight down ones. When we were kids, we'd go on it like 60 times.

We'd just go, we'd just do that for hours and we'd have competition to see who could go the most. I don't mean to be rude. What was the, with this question, what was the state of the Sioux Falls South Dakota water park? Good? Well, so, they used to have one that was just

two water slides, and it was, one was blue, one was yellow, and they were both terrible. They built Wild Water West when I was 10 maybe? I was out of town, and it was like this beak, you could see it, it was like this beacon from 41st Street, and it was like this beak you could see it it was like this beacon from from the from 41st Street and you it was huge and it was off in the distance like a skyscraper and it was amazing because it was brand new it was a brand new water park and so yeah they had like four waterslides the gnarly one

they had the lily pads the alligators you'd run across like fountains they had a lazy river all that shit it was was amazing. Yeah, it was good. It wasn't, now the one before that, I will say, horrible, but that was from like the 70s. It was wretched. You'd get cut on the slides. Yeah. They were like, I suppose they're all fiberglass,

but this felt like you'd get slivers in it, kind of fiberglass, where it was just worn down. And real thick cracks, like your heels would hit these cracks, you know? Like, were you scared to go down the waterslide Like it would have been better if it was Vaseline instead of water or something That's fun to think about Never my third pick no no never your third pick went from you know, um

Dog or a kitty nose. Oh Okay, yeah One little wet, you know, they are they're always wet and they're dank and they're fun Cat noses not always that wet but dog noses for sure dog noses for sure cat noses usually feel pretty wet Yeah, you got this is she in there David It's dry as hell She's a little weirdo though, so I don't know I got with her. I got to see her on Sunday. She rules

Right after a haircut, too. You got a haircut in Denver Oh the dog did. Like, that's a weird, easier time. No, Sunday wasn't a haircut day. On Sunday, he's like, I just gotta. Yeah, Laura, it's gonna be a late one. I gotta stop and get my wig chopped before I get home. It's gonna change. Before I get home.

Why are you not going home to your family? Figured I'd get a haircut real quick. Yeah, dog and kitty noses. Yeah, dog and kitty noses. Yeah, dog and kitty noses. Yeah. I don't have anything funny to say. Me either, I don't have any. I gotta be honest.

No, yeah, just a fun little. It's a good pic, it's cute. It's a fun little pic, yeah. I think endearing, I feel like when you picked it, there were people like, aw. Some of the couples who listened together, maybe one of them looked at the other and was like, aww. Yeah, I'll take that. And then they said something about their pet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, and they're like, look at little Rambo. He's got a wet nose too. Rambo's a good one. I think Rambo's a little kitty in my head right now. Rambo, French name. I know we discussed it a couple episodes ago.

Wee blah. With my third pick, might be controversial, but I stand by it. I believe this thing is wet. Maybe some people don't. Ice cream. Oh yeah. Yeah, I think so.

Okay, good. Who thinks ice cream ain't wet? Huh? Who the? I mean, how could you even think ice cream is dry? It's viscous. Well, I just don't think you ever think of ice cream as wet, but it is indeed wet.

Yeah. It's wet. Absolutely. Am I correct? Any blowback on that would blow my mind. Yeah. Well, I came into here looking like for a fight. I walked in looking for a fight, it seems like. You really did.

I feel like I just- You walked into the bar, you're like, make fun of my jacket. I dare you to make fun of my jacket. Everybody liked the jacket. It's an all right jacket, dude. Feel like I just walked out. You know how when you return something at Nordstrom's,

they'll just like take it? Yeah. That's how it felt just then. They're like, oh, oh, okay, yeah. But ice cream, it's wet. And I do think you lose sight of the fact that it's wet because it is a solid, but it's a wet solid. Yeah, a wet solid, yeah.

Which I'll drop a couple wet solids after I eat enough ice cream by the way. Ice cream, you want to talk about being in your 40s. Ice cream ain't on the menu anymore. My body does not process it well. No, not at all. It doesn't like anything in there. Twice a year. And then I know what I'm doing. And you do that, that's a bump where I'm like, all right, I know what's gonna happen, but I do it anyways about twice a year. Twice a year is all you eat ice cream?

I don't think I'm lying, I think that's probably about, right? Really? I think so. I don't do it a ton. That's crazy, man. I bet I eat ice cream 12 times a year. And you're telling me you're at the tail end of your 30s, huh?

With a yawn like that? Yeah, I've been up since 8. You know, that's pretty early. I haven't stopped working since the day began. Don't you hate it those days in the house? Sometimes where you're like, oh, yeah, dude. Are you having one of those? I'm kind of having one of those, too. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, dude. Are you having one of those? I'm kind of having one of those too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Today started at seven, seven. Not working, just daily. This is not exciting. Air horns, Isaac. And some people work, some people work in a quarry. Yeah. But they at least have a purpose and they can leave. I just didn't get one to myself.

We can't leave the- Everybody listening, this is a great job. We can't leave the quarry of our minds. Oh, you work in your mind prison all day. I get it. I get it all fucking day. That's why you're cashed out. I had a dream, speaking of mind prison,

I had a dream last night that me and Adam and Rude Boy brutally beat a professional skateboarder named PJ Lad because he tried to kill Taylor Swift. And it was, we, I'm talking, beat him to a pulp. And uh- PJ Ladd's wonderful, horrible life? Yes, yes, and I can't explain it. I woke up at five and I was like, whoa.

It was so, so real. So real. And I, yeah. Are you okay? I don't think so. Did he ever raise him? Air horns. No, he, okay? I don't think so Everyone no, no I carried her to say yeah, but did you have a reason for trying to kill? They don't know I don't think we gave him any chance to talk. I carried her to safety

She told me what happened and I was like, let me go get the two gnarliest dudes. I know Adam and rude boy and then we went and savagely beat him and I remember in the dream being like, oh, I'm pretty sure he. And then we went and savagely beat him. And I remember in the dream being like, oh, I'm pretty sure he's not gonna make it. And we just didn't care. It was wild. Did he park his bike in the wrong place?

No. Stop. That is so crazy. I don't think we're given enough space for how crazy that dream is. It's a real like perfect grab bag of Sean Jordan ephemera. Taylor Swift in there, professional skateboarder. Couple buddies, pro skater.

You can kind of see the Slumdog millionaire path that led you to that dream where it's like you were watching fight videos on Instagram and then you listen to Style, and then you watched a PJ Ladscape video, and then you texted your skateboard and group thread, and then you fell asleep. Probably all in bed.

I watched a video of referees that take over the fight. That's a fun little video to see, where the fighters keep going after the ref calls it, and then the ref has to step in and fight the winning fighter. I think it's cool that the genre is evolving. Yeah. At least now there's a point.

German experimental fight videos. Stuff like that. G yellow. Remember when Judge Mills Lane was famous? Like there was a famous boxing referee? Yeah. That's never happening again. He did every celebrity death match.

We're never getting that again. We're never getting a famous referee again. I don't think so. That guy, who was the first guy that the UFC, let's get it on, that guy, big, I knew his name, Big John or something. But he wasn't, Mills Lane like escaped his sport. Yeah.

You know, I think. I think so, I mean he was on MTV. Like he would be on Dancing with the Stars this year. Yeah. I get that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ice cream is my pick. David Boyd, time for your third and fourth pick, some wet stuff. All right, third pick I am going to take.

Oh, this one's easy, paint. Oh yeah. Paint's fun, dude. Candy paint, drip it. Paint is fun, dude. Candy paint dripping. Paint is fun. It just looks amazing. It looks so cool. Wet paint in a can looks rad.

It looks so good. It looks delicious. Did that come up in the? Really anything you want it to look like, it looks like. Thick. It is nice. I like wet paint. Yep. I like seeing stuff get pulled out of paint.

That always looks cool. Pull it out, dip it in. Now we're saying picks, but. Do you ever see that? I forget what it's called, but it's like, there's a basin of water with like a print laid on top of it. And somebody will like dip something into it

and the pattern will affix to it, dip dying maybe it's called. It's like this new thing where it's infiltrated my for you page. Oh, I have seen that on Instagram. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. It looks cool. Yeah. Like, but it's already like in a pattern

because there's like oil as well or something like that in there. Yeah, like there's a pattern on top of the water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it gets like stuck to the thing. It's crazy. I like that. I like that. The world of dying, D.Y., is like, I didn't know how much I didn't know until I started getting it on my For You page. I went a brief little COVID,

what am I looking for? It's something I did briefly during COVID. We would tie-dye stuff. Oh yeah. Yeah, like my little COVID stages or whatever, but tie-dye stuff. Oh yeah. Yeah, like my little COVID stages or whatever,

but tie-dying. I got a few shirts, a few pairs of socks out of the deal. Brief. Briefs? Oh, some briefs. A thing of briefs. Can we talk about how many pairs- Oh, I'm still doing laundry, guys.

Sorry, I couldn't get it in. I'm still doing laundry. And I had some in the dryer that I didn't count. And I was wearing a pair. No, I counted those. Yeah, 36. That was weird. Sean Jordan has 36 pairs of active underwear

in circulation. In the rotation. Yeah, I'm gonna do some house cleaning. But yeah, 36. I was, I think I had like 16, yeah. 16 pairs of underwear total. Go ahead and smash that like button, let us know how many pairs of underwear you got.

Like and subscribe, let us know in the comments how many, I've been listening back to this Blank Check podcast back in the era of like leave comments and reviews. I wonder if that's still important. Isaac, is that still important? It's always important. Well, somewhat.

Less important now because Apple isn't the only game in town anymore. Right. But it used to be Apple podcasts were the only place that people were getting podcasts. What are the important metrics now? What should we tell people to do as listeners? Oh man, tell your friends about it.

Tell your friends. Steal money from your parents, send it to us. Steal money from your parents, send it to us. And then, mow it directly to me at Isaac K. Lee. Tell anyone that you can comprehend, write it in a letter, tell it on the phone. Yeah, use the promo codes. Oh yeah, promo codes for sure.

If you buy something from the ads. Here you go, listen to the ads. Listen to the ads. listen to the ads listen to the ads don't don't listen to those No, do listen please do it is really no they know if you don't they do yeah, oh yeah Oh, yeah, they have track As you listen to listen to the ads any Any one of them. Let the ads play. Ad trackers are like the new Blade Runners. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

Ad tracker 2049. That's good. That's actually good. Any Villain de Weve got his? Villain de Weve? Villain de Weve. Whose pic is it? God's pic, dude.

Oh, Dana took paint. Dana and I are gonna paint a room here pretty soon. My wife. Nice. My no burping wife and I are gonna paint a room. I'm pretty intimidated. Man, I painted, have you ever repainted a room white? No, I've never painted a room. I had to do it for a whole condo complex,

my friend's dad or grandpa owned these condos and we had to go in and repaint them all. Painting a white room, white rooms all day will drive you nuts. Cause you can't tell if it's done or not or what? is the it's just like yeah everything about it the end of the Day, you're like looking around like everything was surreal I've only done in a handful of times I will say painting a room a room way easier than I thought it was going to be getting it ready to be painted way harder

Than I thought it was gonna be really so that's the thing Gotta tape everything tape everything. Tape everything, tape the carpet, but it's like. Get a drop cloth. That sounds like the easy stuff to me. You gotta get the brushes, you gotta get the paint, like all the tins, and you gotta mix the paint, you have to get the ratio, all that dumb shit.

The painting is fun and easy. It takes like an eighth of the amount of time as it does to get everything ready. I also painted my little brother's room when I was a kid, or when I was like a teen. Can you, like, is it easy to make sure it's even? Now I'm just, Yeah, you just do two coats.

You can paint the room. Yeah, but it's fun to talk to your friends that don't know what they're talking about, and do that instead. I'm in the dark here. You should spray texture too. Ooh, like pebbling. Spackle the ceiling, gotta be different.

I'm spackling the floor, dude. You guys are gonna paint the floor? You're not gonna know which way is up in my house. With actual paint? It's gonna be like the Jamiroquai video in there. Everything about my house is like the Jamiroquai video. Moving walkways, cat in the cat hats. My hat, yeah, exactly.

David, time for your fourth pick. Meat. Oh, yeah, dude. Dave, time for your fourth pick. Meat. Oh yeah, dude. Meat is what? When it's dry, it sucks, always. Yeah. There were too many jokes. They got jimmed.

They got jimmed at the door. I just saw you overload. They couldn't handle it. Like Max Hedrum. Like your face, like your eyes just kind of flashed. Tweaking a little bit like that robot in Total Recall. Oh! Too many wet meat jokes, dude.

All wet meat jokes aside, you do want your meat looking wet. Yeah. I thought you said all jokes aside. That was clearly a joke. Why should I even try some puberty? I will when you're doing spatchcocking a chicken. So I will spatchcock it. Are you doing that now?

Because it's all over the internet. I spatchcock my own chickens. You can't. You do. I spatchcock it. chickens. You can't. You do, I spatchcock it. I know what you're doing and it's working. I spatchcock my chickens and I do a, and then I rub them. Spatchcock a doodle do. I spatchcock and then I rub.

And it gets wet. You have to rub. Do this bit when you and Dana are painting the room. All right. Honey, I've been spatchcock and trick. No, but I really do Certain certain meats you kind of want to pat the wetness out of them before you cook them Oh, yeah, I pat my chicken thighs before I cook them. You have to you got a pat your chicken thighs You got a pat a chicken pet. Oh, is that where you take the paper towels and you? Yeah, you want to get that wetness off. Why is that?

and you, Adam? Yeah, you won't get that wetness off. Why is that? I know for the thighs it makes them crisp up. Yeah, it's for, you get that, I forget the name of the reaction, but it makes it crisp and brown rather than steam, which is what happens when wet stuff gets hot, dude. When wet meat gets hot?

I'm getting. It's gonna be hard to walk out of here. It's gonna be hard to walk out of here. Will you yell out my wet meat is getting hot? Yeah. Fuck no, I'm getting. It's gonna be hard to walk out of here. When hot meat gets wet. Will you yell out my wet meat is getting hot? Yeah. Fuck, no I won't. Yell out, spatchcock my hot meat. I wanna stay naked.

A hundred dollars. You should have told me three years ago, easily. That would not have been, that would have been, it would have been Zach Tuscani in the other room. What about wet cock my meat spatch? Yeah. That would have been Zach Tuscani in the other room. What about Wet Cock My Meat Spatch? Yeah. Come on.

Can I say it in Spanish? No, what do you mean? Come on, no. What about Wet Spatch My Meat Hot? There it is. Wet Spatch My Meat Hot? No, but say it like Wet Spatch My Meat Hot. Wet Spatch My Meat Hot.

No, you, damn it. Hot wet spatch my meat hot no Excuse me what's patch my meat hot? This feels like we're sitting in head gum I feel delirious wet spatch by me hot pitch for the for the Philadelphia Athletics in 1903. Yeah, he did. She actually opened for Mitsky last week. Yeah, yeah, she was good, man.

Yeah, the first breaking slider ever seen. Man. UN Secretary General Wet Spatch Mamiha. You have the floor. Wet Spatch Mamiha. Yeah, meat is wet, dude. Wet nipples, wet meat. What more do you need?

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I'm going to take, I'm going a little off the board. I'm going Wet Leg, which is a band I really like. I saw them open for Harry Styles What they have a song called wet dream you were in my wet dream last night something like that That's where you sleep and you bust. It's where you sleep and you bust. No, I can't. No, do it. Finish.

Yeah, finish. Finish. That's what she said in my dream. Taylor Swift? It's where you're dreaming and you're busting not all over yourself and then you wake up and it's dry, right? Yell, bust it not.

No. Yell, not a bust. No, those probably got a better chance of flying under, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, He's the greatest. You guys follow Buster Rhymes on Instagram? Not at all.

I do since the last time we talked about it. I've seen people talking about his body in ways that seem complicated. Very complicated. That neck, man. That neck is gnarly. He, I think like many of us, when he goes on tour for a long time,

struggles to keep the weight off, a relatable king. Yeah, that's right. It is so hard, well, whatever, it's tough. It's tough to find good food, not like I'm looking for it actively, but you know, you got 20 minutes, you're gonna get wah-wah instead. You know, you just are, you're not gonna go get a salad.

But Wet Lake are a cool band. They're two cool British ladies. I think you'd like them, Sean. We were just talking about, were you in that circle? We were talking about all the female bands we've been listening to. Oh yeah, it was me and you and Derek Sheehan. Yeah, yeah.

War Paint, Hime. You know what was a good one is, gosh, Rick McCrank's part, La Tigre. Oh yeah, La Tigre. I mean it's 15, 20 years ago, the one song I know about. Anyway, is it my turn? Rick McCrank, yell out Rick McCrank. Rick McCrank, Rick McCrank.

I mean that sounds weird. Sounds gnarlier than anything I've actually yelled. Is it me? Yeah. All right, I'll take it back to a human. This is on the OG list, but the saxophone player from The Lost Boys. Oh yeah.

That dude is soaked. Yeah, that's is soaked to the bone, that guy. Tim Capello, he still tours, he came through Portland, I was going to go but nobody would go with me and I just couldn't, I didn't go by myself. I should've. Where does a man like that play when he's in Portland? Starry Theater. Under the bridge.

If I would've given you one guess, he would've got it. Would you not? Would you not have said the Starry Theater? Even that seems too big. He's the Lost Boys sax guy, man. What does it take? That was a long time ago. 150 people. What's his name? Rick Capello? Tim Capello.

Tim Capello. Tim? Yeah. Tim Capello. He's a multi-instrumentalist. I mean. I coulda told you that. Okay, if that song wasn't in The Lost Boys, if it was just a 80s song, it's a good by comparison It's a good 80s song. It's no different than like saying almost fire or anything like it fits the mold You know, I watched that movie and really the whole reason of that movie feels like

I've never seen it until Lauren. I watched it like a month ago. It's not good No, we I was like, let's watch saying almost fire. I've never seen it in the song rules That's exactly what I said and we watched it like a month ago. It's not good. No, I was like, let's watch St. Amos Fire. I've never seen it in the song Rules. That's exactly what I said. And we watched it over two nights, and it's just not good. What if I told you this man has been in four movies and four television shows? I believe that.

Was it like Lost Boys? Starting in 1987, in Lost Boys, he plays the role of beach concert star. He sure does. Wait, did my mom write that IMDB page? Cause that's what she would say. Then he's in a movie that stars Bob Dylan and Rupert Everett called Hearts of Fire,

where he plays Nico. He talks, I bet. He's not just like some dude on the side, Nico. I mean, they refer to him with a name he's in Gregory Hines's tap a Tap dancing movie and then he plays keyboard and what's love got to do with it? The music video where I first yeah realized I like women. No, that's the movie. What's love got to do with it? I don't I didn't know it was a movie. Oh, yeah

Involved with the movie well, it's her song it's about it was a movie. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. Fucking Angela Bassett. Is the song involved with the movie? Well, it's her song. It's a movie about Tina Turner. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's Angela Bassett. Lawrence and Larry Fishburne, I think is I, right? I had to have known that. I must be forgetting that I knew that. Anyway.

And then he's in the exact TV shows you think he was in. Miami Vice playing Arzola. And in The Equalizer playing roadie slash shopkeeper. I would have thought he was also in the Highlander. Is that weird? No, that totally makes sense. He has a sword that he can play like a saxophone.

Talk about movies you wanna watch with your spouse. Here's an article called the legend of Billy Hicks or why sax player is no longer a viable occupation in rock and roll. Ah, we're taking off line. Ah, it's been taken offline. Sorry, Tim. Thanks, Biden. Fucking Joe, Joseph Robinette Biden.

Wake up, Joe. Piece of shit. Saxophone player and your final pick, the lightning round. Well, hold on. Does, all right, the road in any Michael Bay movie. Yeah, that works for sure. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah.

Always fucking wet. It's more dramatic if it's wet. It is, but boy, they are. Waste of water, Michael. Who was I talking to about the most recent Bad Boys movies the other day? I haven't seen any of them. Have you guys seen them?

Me, because I thought Bad Boys for Life was the most. I saw it for life, but I haven't seen the newest one, have you guys seen them? I saw For Life, but I haven't seen the newest one. Yeah, we were discussing, I haven't seen either one of those two new ones. Somebody was saying they were bad, but I'd heard they were good. Well, who were you?

Nan Pate, maybe? Was it one of those, well, I would trust him, so he means bad bad. I just hope you weren't talking to one of those people who says they were bad, but they were actually good just in a way that some people would say makes a bad bad. I just hope you weren't talking to one of those people who says they were bad, but they were actually good just in a way that some people would say makes a bad movie. But it's good if you like it. So get over yourself.

The KFC discussion. The KFC argument, sure, from way back. The Road to Michael Bay movie's an amazing pick. Thanks bud. I'm going to take a plate of breakfast food. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Sauce the whole thing up.

It's all pretty wet. So, hollandaise, whatever we gotta do. Scrambled eggs are wet, eggs are wet, pancakes are wet. Cholula. Bacon is wet, the way I like to eat it. It's all wet, and I put sauce on all of it, wet it up, wet me down, get me ready for breakfast.

Wet me up, wet me down. Get me ready for breakfast Next time if next time you're in like a hotel breakfast buffet line sing that to whoever's behind you It's gotta be a stranger Gotta be a stranger You know what this reminds me of? Is that Perry Castle? Big yellow sunglasses. I can't get breakfast in a hotel without thinking of that Perry Castle song ready for breakfast. You know?

Wet me up, wet me down, and get me ready for breakfast. Sean, I'm begging you. You're just holding a racquetball paddle? Wet me up, wet me down, and get me ready for breakfast. Sean, I'm begging you. You're just holding a racquetball paddle. I'm begging you, please sing that right now. Please, Sean, please, please. Is it a real song? No!

Who cares? Sarah Castle's not a real person. Come on, Sean, please, this is your big moment. Come on, man. How's it go? Wet me up, wet me down. Wet me up, wet me down. Wet me down, get me ready for breakfast.

Sing it for real, for once. Just, you have to do one of these for real. That one's not even sexual. It's just, please do it for real. Does it matter which way I'm looking? Dog, they're gonna hear it. Well, that's what I'm saying. Wed me up and wed me down.

Get me ready for breakfast. Amazing. Amazing. Hell yeah. Why isn't that a song? No. That's a good song. I'm saying why isn't it a song? Why isn't it? We could record it. Man, I'd give I'm saying why isn't it a song? No, why isn't it? We can record it.

Man, I'd give you, oh, I'd give you at least $100 to watch you do that to someone in a breakfast sign. I can't imagine how funny it would be. Under my breath a little bit. Wipe me up and wipe me down. Get me ready for breakfast. You just tap and you're like, you heard that? In your city, in your town. Get me ready for breakfast. You just tap him, you're like, you heard that?

In your city, in your town. I have sex after breakfast. I'm gonna get me some sex first. You just look at him like, you guys gonna go have sex after this? I like to eat a lot of eggs before I go have sex. Sure. I like to eat a lot of eggs before I go have sex David time for your final pick R&B singers. Yeah, man. Me too. David, time for your final pick. R&B singers. Oh, yeah.

They're wet. They're all so wet. Yeah, I'm thinking specifically Usher at the top. You know who pops into mind first is Silk. They had that song, Freak Me. Yeah, Freak Me, baby. That whole vibe. I mean, you know who was the wettest man of all time?

Who's that? Was the dude in Gangsta's Paradise. Oh, L.V.? L.V. was wet as hell. He was one-song. He was pouring sweat. Yeah, he was so wet. He had this one shot and it was as wet as you can be for it. You know, he made a whole,

he made his own version of that song from the chorus. Like he did that song where he sings the whole time. Well, cause it's a Stevie Wonder song. Yeah. I didn't know that. Past time paradise. Very good song. What a moron. No, I didn't know that.

You're not a moron. LV did his own version of it too. You should listen to that whole Stevie Wonder album. You'd be surprised how many- Is that Key of Life? That's Key of Life, I believe it is, yeah. Your boy, your song Sir, is on there, dude. I had, you know, whatever the greatest hits were,

but then there was a song in Atlanta, and I cannot remember the name of it, and then I bought an album based off of that song. Might have been that album, but anyway, sorry. Isaac Airhorns. I think you would remember it if it was that album. Yeah, I would. It's got ass on it, dude. I'm reeling from the breakfast song still.

Wet Me Up. Wet Me Down. Get me ready for breakfast. It sounds like the song the guy played before he got discovered in Rockstar. Yeah. I don't know what's wrong. I'm playing the wet me up song.

I go crazy for it. I don't mind that movie at all. Is that the Tom Cruise one or the Mark Wahlberg one? Mark Wahlberg. Okay, that's what I thought. Yeah. I don't mind it at all. Not one bit.

I don't know that I've seen it, if we're being honest. Lock the gates. I don't think you'd mind it. That's where it's from. No, that's from Almost Famous. That's from Almost Famous. What the fucking gates? That's where it's from. No, that's from Almost Famous. That's from Almost Famous. Lock the fucking gates.

Lock the gates on these fuckheads. R&B singer. Who's the wettest current R&B singer? Currently, I don't know. Who's got the belt? Oh, there's gotta be someone who's soaked. I don't know what the other word is. Miguel's not as wet as I would like.

I don't think Miguel's all that wet. Miguel could be wetter. The Weeknd's not all that wet. No, he's not as wet as I would like. I don't think Miguel's all that wet. Miguel could be wetter. The Weeknd's not all that wet. No, he's not. Are they even the current BRNC, R&B singers? The Weeknd is sexy, but not like in that way. No. He's kinda dry.

I think you're just in your 40s. He's Canadian, he dries out. Yeah, that's the dry people. Sorry, Canadians, but you are drier than. You can get wet, you just can't get as wet as Luther Vandross, for example. No, no, no. Well, I mean.

You got your own thing. I don't even know who, I don't know. I failed second for the kids, but I don't know who the current R&B royalty would be. I don't even know either. Look in the list. Current what? Did you go, current what?

Look in the wet list. Current wet list? Steve Lacey's not all that wet. He's not even, he's kind of R&B adjacent. No, Steve Lacey's not wet. No, he's dry. We're in a dry age of R&B singers, dude. We need to capitalize. Khalid?

No, dry. Wow. I hate to end the podcast on a down note. Yeah, I know. It's kind of dried up in here. Somebody's waiting in the wings. Frank Ocean's dry. Somebody's dripping in the wings.

How ironic. Yeah, his name's Ocean and the guy's dry. Why is little so big and big is so little? Well, hey, let's recap, huh? We drifted wet stuff. Sean Jordan went first and he took kisses. He likes wet kisses, wet water slides, a wet animal nose, a wet The Saxophone Player from The Lost Boys,

and a wet road in a Michael Bay movie. I went second, I like wet blood, wet razor Ramon, wet ice cream, wet wet leg, and wet big old plate of breakfast. David went last and he took wet nipples, wet burps, wet paint, wet meat, and wet RMP singers. That tells a story. Your list tells a story.

From start to finish. Super producer Isaac, do you have a wet pick? I mean, I can't believe you guys didn't take pussy, so. I didn't think you were gonna do it. You have to take pussy. Me and Isaac You talked about this when I said I wasn't gonna take it I was like why not it is the thing I Don't know people have gone people have gone to war over pussy, you know Yeah, we're gonna war over razor. Ramon dude, and that's true. WCW and WWF also true Wet pussy is the final pick. Yeah, Sean. Will you yell that? Again you mean I was yelling it before we recorded

It's all I've been doing We want to your hear your picks hit us up at all fantasy pod on Twitter all fantasy podcast at gmail Hit us up at AllFantasyPod on Twitter, AllFantasyPodcasts at gmail.com. Shout out to everyone on the AFE Patreon, where you can hear our recent Denver live episodes, all of our live episodes, mail bags, auction drafts, all of that stuff. Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit,

the AFE Shaslackity. Shout out to super producer Isaac on the ones and twos. Shout out to Saint Sue Carmel. Shout out to Frank Yojans. Shout out to Sid The Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. you beat some more important all of that tune it again next week to another Brand-wet episode of all fantasy everything Good song That's a good song.