All Fantasy Everything - Words That You Think Make You Sound Smart (REVISITED w/ Zak Toscani, Sean Jordan, and David Gborie)
Episode Date: January 30, 2020We're revisiting our favorite draft with all new words! Ian gathered the wrecking crew of Zak, David, and Sean and they drafted words that you think make you sound smart for the sec...ond time. 20 whole new chances for Sean to sound like a moron! Enjoy!Episode Guest:Zak Toscani @zaktoscani IG: @zaktoscaniSupport the show!Sponsors:CBS All Access: Get your first week of CBS All Access for free and stream Star Trek: Picard now by visiting CBS.com/Fantasy.Join the All Fantasy Everything Patreon for exclusive mailbag and movie watch-a-long episodes. Check it all out at www.patreon.com/AllFantasy.Rate All Fantasy Everything 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Merch: T-Shirts! Sweaters! Stickers! Mugs! Deck yourself out in some goods at www.teepublic.com/user/allfantasyeverythingFollow the Good Vibes Gang on social media: Ian Karmel @IanKarmel IG: @IanKarmelSean Jordan @SeanSJordan IG: @SeancougarmelonJordanDavid Gborie @Thegissilent IG: @Coolguyjokes87Mars Mel @MarsMel IG: @Mars.MelShow Email: allfantasypodcast@gmail.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fantasy Everything.
The podcast that started the podcast so Sean couldn't retort when I said Icing is gonna see Wynwood.
Do it again.
Think about it.
Not even fucking close. Can I say, I think you like it.
I think you like it when the chorus comes in and there's the choir.
You know what I mean?
It's like, take me higher, you love.
No.
And he's like, whoa.
No, I think he's an amazing.
Take me higher, you love.
Whoa.
Yeah.
That was good.
Cancel.
Yeah.
Not even close.
No.
That was just as good.
Think about it.
You say that he's a top five
male vocalist.
That's not what I said.
I said
a recent addendum.
I said top five white male vocalists.
Last night as we were preparing
for this podcast,
we were doing our research last night.
Yeah, we were doing some field.
We were in the field.
Whatever.
You can't record this topic without being hung over.
That's what we found out last time we did it.
That's how we did it.
We researched heavily last night.
Sean qualified that Steve Wood would come up
and say top five white male vocalists.
Which is something.
I stood up and opened the door when I said white.
Never done.
Which is a running list that none of us had in our own heads.
No one has it in their heads.
It's that's no list. Nowhere.
Who's compiling
that fucking list?
No one. White men.
Yeah. Fucking.
I said white. And then you tried to pump
it like you would always say.
I was pretty researched at that time.
Pretty researched.
You were deep into your bachelor. You and Regis Philbin went back through the researched. You were deep into your bachelor.
You and Regis Philbin went back through the books.
You were up to your Dewey and Decimal indexes.
I had been researching for a few hours at that point.
And then this morning you said,
Stephen Wood, better male vocalist than Frank Sinatra.
Stick by it.
Here I am just starting my research for the day.
Somebody just crashed a car.
Yeah.
Because of your actions.
Because of your white
crossed actions. White man.
Think about it.
No, he's not.
He is too.
A lot more goes into being a good singer than
just like the sonic
quality of a voice. It's not just
breath control. My favorite singers are not probably by technical standards great singers.
You know what I mean?
Fred Durst.
Yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't even call him a singer.
Smash Mouth Guy.
My favorite singers are by technical standards better than Steve Wynn.
Oh, absolutely.
That might be because some of them are black.
We can all agree that the best singer in the world is an Asian gentleman by the name of Mike Shinoda.
We can all agree. Four minor.
100%
reason to remember the name.
20%.
5% pleasure.
Yeah. 20% pain.
Break down Steve Winwood's voice.
In percentages.
100% dank. Another 100%
white. What percentage reason to remember the name?
40% British.
60% Irish.
10% Cherokee, but that's probably made up.
It's probably made up.
Just says ancestry.com.
50% Scandinavian.
50% Ashavian 50%
I'm sure you can sing
just as well as Steve Winwood dude
give us a think about it
think about it
but like say it with your chest
yeah diaphragm
think about it
push that shit out
cancel David slap me again
I tried to do the hustle and flow
Yeah
Cause you saw hustle and flow
Push that shit out
Your neck was doing the thing
Everybody knows what the thing is
I like it when you sing it so hard
It almost sounds like you're saying pamp
Pamp
It's hard out here for pamp
dude we've i posted a picture of the tight cross on instagram yesterday while we were recording
i could well it's exactly what you look like right now it's the same cross uh like 60 people
comment on how tight the cross was yeah it's like a waterproof it's like oh yeah it looks like you
it looks like you covered that thing in thompson's water seal absolutely that's how tight it is that
tight cross has been keeping the nation of Denmark high and dry for years.
Huh?
Sovereign.
Sovereign.
Sean Jordan in the crib.
I am.
Seanis Jordan on Twitter.
Guilty.
Sean Patrick Jordan in real life.
Guilty.
Sean Cougarmel Jordan on Instagram.
Guilty.
Sean St. Clown Posse at that insane Clown Posse concert that's coming to LA.
Fiance?
He made their own, huh?
One person calls you fiance?
Fiance Knowles over here, dude. Sean St. Clown F coming to LA. Fiance? One person calls you fiance. Fiance Knowles over here, dude.
Chancene Clown Fiance?
Oh.
Fiance?
Something like that.
We'll get there.
Yeah, we'll workshop it.
Put it on the whiteboard, though.
It'll be you.
Put it on the top five
whiteboard for Sean.
I'll put it on the dark board
and make a decision.
Top five whiteboard.
That is so crazy.
He's not a better singer than Smokey Robbins.
No, I understand.
It was just a crazy way to...
You should have said like top five bad singers.
David, I was heavily researched.
I could see it in your eyes.
You were blinking.
There was Roya, Abe Lincoln over here.
Multiple bottles of research.
Abe Lincoln, dude. He's's like it's morse code
for I'm fucking hammered right now
everybody knows when you get into your books
you start blinking
you're staring at the page real hard
you pit out
you start blinking all hard
is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder
and harder to read
you know that Maroon 5 song?
Right?
That's them.
Yeah.
At this moment,
while people are listening,
you will have performed at Snow Jam.
We will have.
Holy shit.
How'd it go?
It's probably pretty cold.
Yeah.
Pretty dank.
A lot of Jäger bombs, I imagine.
Sure, sure, sure.
I think Peterson was probably there.
Okay.
And my mom was probably there.
Laura was there.
Nice.
So she's going to meet everyone. She met everyone. Crazy you bombed it for all those people. Yeah. Okay. And my mom was probably there. Laura was there. Nice. So she's going to meet everyone. She met
everyone. Crazy you're bombing for all those people.
Yeah. I'm worried about it.
Are you? I thought it was
wild that you went full Michael Richards.
Yeah. But after the Steve
Wynn would list it. I said top
five white male vocalists.
I feel like you're going to do great just because
you can do all these local references that you've never been able to do anywhere else.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You can do that little shit.
That local crowd work.
Like lightly dog patch.
Tread lightly.
Whiskey flats.
He said little.
He said Sioux Falls.
Little shit.
Yeah.
You want to watch your back for the rest of the day.
I don't understand.
I'm just being.
I mean, if you want to, you can bring up the one escalator that that city has.
The one Cadillac Escalade.
Yeah.
Owned by the same dude.
Yeah, exactly.
We call them Cadillac Muscalades, but that's neither here nor there.
You can bring up the Redbox.
All the dudes that hang out at the Redbox.
Yeah, that crew.
I bet all the black velvet material will go over great.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to be late for hot dish, Mom. The Redbox has I bet all the black velvet material will go over great. I'm going to be late for Hot Dish, Mom. The Redbox has a fucking
line.
There's a fight at the Redbox.
We'll be here for hours. Someone got murdered
at the Redbox and I murdered him.
I'll be here for a while.
Anything else to promote?
Go to Faded every Friday. I have an album
called The Buck Starts Here on Special Thing Records.
There you go. Order a flask. Give it. I have an album called The Buck Starts Here on Special Thing Records. There you go.
Order a flask.
Get it.
I'll be in Florida at the end of February, beginning of March,
in Orlando and Tampa with Doug Benson.
I think I can announce that.
Sure.
I don't know what you're looking at me for.
It's not my calendar. It's fine if you do it on our podcast.
Ian, did Doug contact you about what I'm about to say?
He's not been in touch regarding it, but it is MLK Day, so I don't know.
I got some spots for you in Tampa off'm about to say. He's not been in touch regarding it, but it is MLK Day, so I don't know. I got some spots for you in Tampa
off mic.
I can go do some library.
Places you can only get to on Fanbo.
Where I can go do some research.
I got a couple libraries in Tampa.
Yeah, they got a lot of books people don't have out here.
He doesn't like strip clubs.
What? He doesn't like strip clubs. I hate them.
He won't go. Oh, that's right. Then I don't have any.
I disavow all my knowledge. I have nothing for you
at Tampa.
White Tampa off your schedule. I didn't even get groceries
when I was there. Sean is an earnest on-mic, off-mic
no matter what. Drunk, sober, does not
like strip clubs. I don't.
Sassy's is okay because
everybody looks like they're having a good time.
Even though I can't talk you into going ever.
Yeah.
Well, I also don't want to lie to Lauren because, you know.
David Bore is also in the crib today.
I don't really, I don't know.
And also the demon who possessed David for a second.
Yeah, I don't really know.
One of the Muppet noises.
I was doing like six noises at once.
We started talking about DMX.
They bottlenecked my mouth. We talked about DMX. They bottlenecked my mouth.
We talked about DMX while the sun was still out.
That's my problem.
We're all in a weird place.
I for sure listen to MLP.
You're trying to sound like your grandmama and drag you to hell.
Oh, that's Eddie Murphy's catch.
That's the backwards devil talk.
That's right.
That's right.
Boy, are we hungover.
The GSL on Twitter. What do you got coming up? Nothing. That's right. Boy, are we hungover. The GSL on Twitter.
What do you got coming up?
Nothing.
There it is.
There it is.
Those are just the facts, man.
Nothing.
Yeah.
Next person.
Nothing new announced.
The news and the weather.
Yeah.
Is that you, Scotty?
Yo.
Next guy.
Returning champion.
That's such a funny thing to do on a podcast
Yeah that's it
Keep moving
Fuck outta here
I don't play these icebreaker games
Zach Toscani on Twitter
Zach Toscani on Instagram
Keeping it simple the same
What do you got going on
Come to Faded
I already said that
Well come to Faded for me
Instead of Sean.
Sean's rarely there.
Sean watches via
security cameras, but he's not actually in the building
anymore. He's the VP of Northwest Distribution.
Yeah, exactly. He's working on
some trade routes.
The spice trade.
Yeah, come to Faded.
Follow me. Follow me on social media.
That's the best way to know what I'm up to.
That's right.
We're going to have some updates.
We'll get some down dates.
Down dates, dude.
You get some clown dates.
Get some down to pound dates.
Down to pound.
Ground pound.
Yep.
Ready to, I'm going to probably start building a house again here soon.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to be back on the puzzle.
I had to get a separate puzzle table thing.
Are you kidding me?
Oh.
It wasn't a separate puzzle table.
It can't be your coffee table.
Listen to me.
It didn't fit my coffee table.
It was way too big.
So then I got to a point where I couldn't do it anymore.
Right.
You got to do the edges first.
So I got to transfer it onto this thing that I got on Amazon.
When you get big money, problems don't go away.
You just start getting big money problems, dude.
That's what's going on.
You're telling me, dog.
Where do I go for a puzzle?
Girls used to diss me.
Now they write me DMs because I do puzzles.
That's right. They're into puzzles.
People are doing puzzles at my work, too.
What's going on with puzzles right now?
I tapped into a vein. I didn't know.
I thought it was just cool for me.
And then as soon as I started doing it,
all these people have been like,
puzzles? I didn't know, i didn't know yeah it feels like he was doing a puzzle
the other night really and they finished it and i saw him destroy it and they do it was tough they
do so many puzzles though that you're like oh this is like such a form of escape because now you just
as soon as one's done you're like let's just break out another one. You're in a puzzle. Yeah. You're in a puzzle I'd like to see you solve next.
Freaking Congress.
With all the goings on over there?
Yeah.
I like to call it.
I haven't brought this up in a while, but political.
Don't you have a funny little kind of.
I've heard he has a bit.
I hate to.
I've heard he has a bit.
Well, I hate to bring it up.
Well, I've never heard it.
I mean, I don't like it.
Tell Zach.
You're putting me on the spot.
Okay. Tell Zach. Please. Well, you're going to love this. You're going to love this. You're going to love this. I think you are going to bring it up. Well, I've never heard it. I mean, I don't like it. Tell Zach. You're putting me on the spot. Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Please.
Well, you're going to love this.
You're going to love this.
You're going to love this.
Yeah, I think you are going to like it.
I think I tell everybody.
If I know you, you're going to fuck it.
Well, I always credit Ian when I do.
I say, this is my friend Ian's show.
I hope you brought another pair because you're about to shit your pants.
Okay.
This is right up your alley.
This is right up your poop.
So you know the White House?
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Yes. Right up your pooper. So you know the White House? 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?
Yes.
Well, lately.
Yeah.
What with all the goings on?
Political and otherwise.
Political and otherwise.
Both of those.
Inside the Beltway?
The White House?
I've taken to calling it.
Hold on.
And remember,
this is what with all the goings on.
Right.
Current day.
Current day,
political and otherwise.
Right.
I've taken to calling it the loony bin.
Slam jam, thank you, ma'am.
Listen, it's just like, I don't know.
I can't take credit for it.
Or you have to postpone the game for at least an hour and a half
to clean up all the shattered glass on the court.
I was just walking to get a coffee.
It was like, whoa.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I think I'm going to quit comedy.
I mean, that's holy grail right there.
It's like, the thing about that is it is funny, but I don't know if I would
ghettoize it by just calling it comedy.
You know what I mean? It's kind of a bigger...
It's kind of a bigger thing. But anyway...
Feel free to repeat it if you want to, but definitely
give me credit.
I am Ian Carmel on Twitter on Instagram
on
Jewish Southwest
Airlines app
you bring that up because you
are Jewish
100%
you know what I'll be honest I knew that
I'll be honest with you right that. Playing the hits, dude.
I'll be honest with you right now.
I knew that. I was just doing a bit.
Imagine if there was a Jewish Southwest
where they're like, that first morning, they're like,
first, we'd like to welcome on all of our
Jewish premieres.
All right. Okay. Yeah. It's finally
paying off. If any of these things were
real that you ever bring up.
One of them has to be real.
Jewish J-Date.
Did you do that? It's a more Jewish
J-Date. It's like the plus.
Oh, it's Jewish Jewish J-Date.
It's Jewish Jewish J-Date.
Capital J-Date. Orthodox Jewish
J-Date.
J-Date Reddick, dude.
J-Date
Reddick. Oh, I got to change my... Yeah, that's an app. Oh, J.Date Reddick.
Oh, I got to change my... Yeah, that's an app.
Yeah, you got to change your Twitter handle.
I'm going to go ahead and change my Twitter handle real quick.
J.Date Reddick.
Are you guys boys?
Yeah.
That's so tight.
Yeah, podcast brothers, right?
Yeah.
I mean, we both have podcast...
The same way that we're podcast brothers with Oprah.
Yeah.
From what I hear and what you were saying,
it has the sound quality on that guy.
I'm sorry.
Did you hear that?
Did everybody hear that?
Oprah bitch on wax?
Wow.
All right.
No matter how many private emails you get, Marissa,
you do not take that out.
Whatever damn it happens to you, we'll double it.
Make it louder.
Put a drop in the echo effect on there.
So somebody named AtBaronDam on Twitter
just added us and said,
I'm pretty sure they just paged a BadussiToodle
at DeltaGate at LAX.
What?
Wait, BadussiToodle?
I'm pretty sure they just pay.
Oh, that's my snack company.
Who told?
Who fucking told?
Who leaked?
David's version of ramen noodles
is but does he toodles?
They're like seven cents.
They just have pictures
of white male vocalists.
Oh, wow.
Michael McDonald's preferred lunch.
Tastes like Sting.
Joe Walsh.
Oh, Joe Walsh.
Wow, look at the Richie Sambora.
Oh, dude, Sting definitely knows what Bidussi smells like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because he's a tantric sex guy, right?
He's the guy who called it Bidussi.
Sting coined it.
Sting invented that term.
A lot of people don't know that, and it's fucked.
Oh, man.
Bidussi Toodle.
You shouldn't be allowed on an airplane if that's your name.
So, again, please, somebody tweeted that they just heard the name,
but does he toodle at the airport?
To the Delta.
There's no way.
I don't know.
Unless that...
I think that there's a way.
I think that somebody...
I would be frantically looking for someone
to be like, oh, that's me.
I need to see what this person looks like.
I think it's somebody who's a seven foot tall guy
in a lime green suit for sure. I think it's somebody who's a seven-foot-tall guy in a lime green suit, for sure.
I bet it's Bill Clinton's alias.
I bet that's what he flies under.
I bet you it's someone's last day working at Delta.
It could be named Bob Dussy Toodle.
I mean, that's Bob Toodles.
Maybe their name's B.A. Dussy Toodle.
That's what I'm going to pen my memoirs under. B.A. Dussy Toodle. B.A. Dusty Toodle. That's what I'm going to pen my memoirs under.
B.A. Dusty Toodle.
Read it wrong.
B.A. Dusty Toodle.
Speaking of which, one more thing.
We're going to go to B.A. Dusty Toodles.
Yeah.
What is it?
What is it?
H.R. Toodle Wedges?
H.R. Teddy Wedges.
He's by far my favorite B.E.A. era author.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That guy has a private eye for sure. A lot of people are into Ginsburg, but I like B.A. Dusty To author. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy has a private eye for sure.
A lot of people are into Ginsburg, but I like B.A. Duskriddle.
Yeah, a lot more.
A lot more.
Top five white.
Protestants.
Grind soldiers.
That's like actual Nazi shit.
I'm so sorry.
That's crazy.
That's what they say in American History X.
Oh my God. Oh man.
It's all five Protestant rock fans, dude. Go!
Top five.
The equal.
Tall, white, straight,
tall,
narrow shoulders.
Hardworking male vocals. Irow shoulders. Hard-working mailbox.
I will be.
Where's Sean Jordan?
What do you got coming up?
I'll be at Comedy on State in Madison, Wisconsin.
Valentine's Day weekend.
Sean Jordan will be there.
We're both going to be there doing stand-up.
That's a top five white city.
Absolutely. We might do a little research while we're there.
Yeah.
Are you going to get the books a little bit.
You got some books you're trying to look up over there?
It's going to be a very erudite.
Can you use a cheese curd as a bookmark?
Excuse me.
Why is this library called HR Teddy Wedges?
Also, I don't care.
Get some cheese curds, dude.
That's the only thing on the calendar.
Come to Madison to see us do the shows.
Watch the Late Late Show.
Watch the Late Late Show with James Corden.
La la.
Keep your eye on the Game On, whatever that's coming out.
And keep your eye on the road.
We're coming.
We're coming.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All fantasy, everything.
We'll be back on the road before you know it.
It is your town.
Fuck your shit up.
No.
We're gathered here. All right, everybody be quiet. Deep breath. Let's your town. Fucking your shit up. No. We're gathered here.
Let's bring it down.
Not only to
sort of notice how Zach brought harvest
snaps, which are delicious.
Can we get an endorsement
for saying that? Yeah!
Let's get some green pea snaps.
Drop the bag, harvest snaps. Come on.
Zach brought a bunch of those P-Rod dunks with green soles that I want.
Can we get a sponsorship from them?
I told you.
I found them for cheap, dude.
I know.
All right.
Probably going to buy them today.
Wait a minute.
Yeah, buy them today.
I think I will.
Prick.
Shit.
Shit.
Dropped a prick on them, dude.
I'm not hungover.
We are gathered here today in the Fortress of Solitude. It's not only to call Sean Jordan a prick on him dude i'm not hung over we are gathered here today in the fortress of solid it's not only to call sean jordan a prick
but also for this is the first time we've gone back to the well isn't it yeah this is the first
one ever part two because we knew immediately it was gonna be around two this is words that
make you sound smart round two. A draft way easier.
A list way easier to make than I thought.
There couldn't be that many more words I don't.
Turns out there is that many more.
I woke up embarrassed where I'm like,
because I can't wait to tell this first story.
Unless one of you picks it.
Oh, God, I can't wait.
It'd be bananas if you picked this word.
The word bananas?
Is it bananas?
Yeah.
All I have to do is remember, like, one past conversation.
There's at least three words in there that I'm like, yeah, I can pick those.
One this past week.
Yeah, exactly.
Last night.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Now, the way we determine the order of that draft is through a rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors.
Let's play between the three of you, and we throw and shoot.
Here we go.
I'm shooting down.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. David wins again. Fuck yeah, paper, scissors. Play between the three of you and we throw on shoot. Here we go. I'm shooting down. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
David wins the game.
Oh, yeah, baby.
All the time with this guy.
I feel like that's like four or five in a row.
I'm hot right now.
96 Bulls.
Shut up.
Maybe you should stop wearing the Celtics shorts, bro.
Maybe you should bring some different energy to the draft.
Stop it.
Zach, what the fuck
are you wearing pants for,
by the way?
I just noticed.
He looks really cool, man.
He's wearing a full
corduroy sort of fucking fit.
You look amazing.
Chuck's got like
cocaine on his shoulder.
No, it's probably snot.
I look like I just got
kicked out of a bar in Boston
because I wasn't
dressed well enough.
It's my snot because of the cocaine I did.
All right.
I do have a sniffly nose.
David, having won,
paper scissors is incumbent upon you
to determine the order of today's draft.
Before you do that,
I will remind you it is a serpentine draft. Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. I'm unfamiliar with this.
What is that? Serpentine.
David also doesn't know what it is,
I bet. No, I fucking know what it is.
Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me. 168 episodes, I fucking
know what it is. Do you know what it is?
Forgive me, it's a serpentine draft. My bad.
It's like Donkey Kong. You ever played
Donkey Kong? No. Really?
Have you ever played Donkey Kong? No. Really? Have you ever played Donkey Kong?
No.
Well, so in Donkey Kong, you start at the bottom.
You climb up a ladder.
You go all the way to the right.
And then you dodge barrels and things.
And then you climb up another ladder, go all the way to the left.
Then you kind of dodge barrels and things.
Climb up another ladder, go all the way to the right.
Kind of dodge barrels and things.
Climb up another ladder, go all the way to the left.
Kind of dodge barrels and things.
And then you climb up another ladder, go all the way to the right. And kind of dodge barrels and things. And then you climb up another ladder, go all the way to the left, kind of dodge barrels and things, and then you climb up another ladder, go all the way to the right and kind of dodge
barrels and things, and then you climb up another ladder,
go to the left, and you get married.
Sounds like life.
It's like Donkey Kong.
It's a pretty good one.
Is Mario a top five white plumber for you?
Sean's like, well, he's Italian. I don't know if I...
We don't really consider them wars.
I mean, what are my other options?
Next we'll be including the Irish.
Yeah.
That round's been had.
I don't know where that came from.
Basically what it means is you pick fourth in the first round,
you pick first in the second round.
David, with that in mind,
what will the order of today's draft be? I'm going to say
Zach, Sean,
David, Ian.
Whoa!
Oh, tight. I've definitely got
a hot corner as well. We're going
Zach, Sean, David, Ian. Zach, you also
have a hot corner. Zach, you also have the first
pick in the Words That Sound Smart All Fantasy Everything Draft,
which is only appropriate because it's a topic you came up with.
When did we do this?
This was like June 2017.
Wow.
I just pulled up the...
So we did that one in the summer.
This was a year and a half years ago.
Shout out to the encyclopedia of all the...
Oh, yeah.
Should we read off what was...
Oh, yeah.
We for sure should.
June 29th of 2017. You want to read off what was... June 29th of 2017.
Do you want to read off the picks we made last time?
Yeah, so last time
Sean Jordan was first
and he picked Superfluous.
Which you had for your list now, right?
I did. I'm so stupid.
Aforementioned,
Felonious,
hyperbolic,
and nefarious.
Zach Tiscari went second.
He took basically.
Dude, I tell that all the time.
Basically, I'm thirsty. Basically, I tell people that shit so much.
Juxtaposition.
Oh, yeah. Quintessential. Uh-huh. Avant-garde. Basically, I'm thirsty. I tell people that shit so much. Juxtaposition. Oh, yeah.
Quintessential.
Uh-huh.
Avant-garde.
Oh, my God.
And sycophant.
Ian Carmel, you closed it out.
You said wherewithal.
You didn't do yours yet.
Oh, I was next.
Yeah.
I said.
Never mind what I said.
Yeah, who cares?
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
It's not important.
I wasn't on that one.
Don't listen to it. I said. Yeah, who cares? Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. It's not important. I wasn't on that one. I said intelligence.
Right out of the gate, I said
that.
I'll be it.
Beholden.
Onus. Onus is a good one.
Dude, Onus is a cool song.
Polytheism.
Ian, it doesn't come up often, but when it does, I nail it.
Ian, you went last.
You said wherewithal.
Yeah.
Dichotomy.
Oh, yeah.
Sean.
I don't like the dichotomy of this prison cell.
My man.
25 to life over here.
Litany.
Ostentatious.
And Philistine.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I'm surrounded by him right now, by the way.
No, Sean's white.
Tall.
Giving.
Judicious.
How five judicious
male singers?
If Steve Woodward's tall, maybe I'll give you that one. I bet he's not. I don't think there's a ton of judicious. Nah, singers aren't tall, man. If Steve Woodward's tall, maybe I'll give you that one.
I bet he's not.
I don't think there's any kind of tradition.
Nah, singers aren't tall, dude.
No way.
What if Van Morrison was like 6'9"?
That would be hilarious.
It's the fabulous, not for a low post game.
He does always look way different than you think he looks.
Oh, he's ugly.
And he's blonde?
I did not see that coming.
Ben Morrison's a weird looking dude.
I thought he was like a maven haired trickster.
No, no, no, no, no.
Turns out he's a toe headed ding dong.
What is maven haired?
What does that mean?
Dark haired.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I think he meant raven haired.
I thought it was maven.
No, I just said maven.
Is that a thing?
Yeah.
That's a thing.
It's a word that makes me laugh.
Zach, you have the first pick in the words that make you sound smart draft,
and you will make that pick right after the short break.
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Welcome back to all fantasy.
Everything.
Zach Descon, you were on the clock with the first pick.
Words that make you sound smart.
Round two.
We're back for more smart words. Yes with the first pick. Words that make you sound smart. Round two. We're back for more smart words.
Yes.
My first pick.
I'm going to go.
I use this for sure a lot.
Yeah.
Vis-a-vis.
Oh, yeah.
Is that even a word?
Vis-a-vis, yeah.
You do say that.
Yeah.
It's tricky because I don't know what it means.
Neither do I.
I do it loosely in context
and I also do it
so much that I know it's probably wrong.
I think it's like
versus. Like Chun-Li
vis-a-vis Ryu.
I always thought it was like you're just trying
to, or the way that I would
use it is be like, listen, I'm just
calling vis-a-vis our conversation the last time.
Is that what it is? That's right.
Like in regards to? Yes.
That's exactly what it means.
Throwing it in so many times
in a conversation is funny.
That joke vis-a-vis what it means.
Man, you do say that.
I would leave a date if I was on it
and someone said that, I'd be like, wow. I gotta go.
We'll split dinner. I'm leaving. You could someone said that, I'd be like, well, I gotta go. We'll split dinner.
I'm leaving.
You could say, Father, I'd like to have a conversation.
You vis-a-vis me having some water.
Basically, I'm thirsty.
Father.
Pardon me, Father.
Father figure.
Father Yankee.
Father Yankee.
Daddy John.
Daddy John Daddy John Excuse me I know
I know you guys are very upset
with me for vis-a-vis
taking a buffalo wing
You looked it up
You know how to spell it? Yes
Do you know how to spell it? I think so
How would you spell it? V-I-S
Hold on
How would you spell it? V-I-S. Hold on. How would you spell it?
That's a very good one.
I think David might know how to spell it.
Sean's getting some context clues.
Sean's like, how would you do it?
I had to hard swallow that LaCroix.
I almost made it out of the casino with all the stolen money.
You stopped me at the door.
Nobody ever gets out.
What's that over there in the back?
Honestly, I'm going to spell it like a Visa card and a flying V.
Like V-I-S-A-V-E-E.
That is not right.
No, it can't be. It's all right.
It's French. It's a French word, I believe.
It's Latin by way of French.
I thought it was...
My guess is V-I-S-A-V-I-S.
That's correct, yeah.
I wasn't.
With hyphens? Are there hyphens?
Yeah, there's hyphens.
And one of these, like, boinks.
Right above the A.
Yeah, they got a boink on the A.
They're boinking, dude.
You don't know nothing about that.
You haven't found that in your research yet, boy.
Boink?
Why do you have a boner, David?
Because of the boink above the A.
You know what I'm talking about.
David, I want to talk to you vis-a-vis your boner.
David, I have some questions vis-a-vis your boner.
Well, basically...
Basically, Zach's thirsty.
It means face-to-face in French, I guess.
Oh, okay.
Oh, yeah.
No, I did not.
I want to beat your ass vis-a-vis.
Vis-a-vis, dude.
When I see you, I'm seeing you vis-a-vis.
Yo, do you want to pose on you vis-a-vis me beating your ass?
How should we pose on this poster for our movie? Like, back-to-back or vis-a-vis? Vis-a-vis me beating your ass? How should we pose on this poster for our movie?
Like back-to-back or vis-a-vis?
Vis-a-vis!
Let's touch noses.
Vis-a-vis.
Whoa.
Oh, my God.
Fucking wild.
All right, Sean, time for your first pick.
All right.
So I was at the airport the other night,
and I'm scared to fly.
I just am scared of it.
You've been excited about this pic for like 48 hours.
I'm oddly embarrassed, but I sound like such a prick.
So my mom called me, and she said she was getting her halo off,
and I was thrilled.
You do sound like a prick in this story.
I go, when do you get your halo off tomorrow?
And then she called me at the airport.
This is a text that she calls, and she goes, when do you get your halo off tomorrow? And then she called me at the airport. This is a text that she calls.
And she goes,
well, I'll get it off tomorrow,
but all of my,
all the screws are infected,
so they might have to admit me.
And I got really mad at her.
I was like, how long have you known this?
And she said for like three days,
but she didn't want to worry me.
And I might have even swore.
I was like,
I'm getting on a fucking plane.
I'm terrified.
And now you call me with this?
And she goes,
well, I don't know.
And I go,
okay, so it's all conjecture at this point
I've never said that word in my whole
in my whole life
if anybody was next to me
they were just like who is that prick
he must be the doctor for the second opinion.
I just hold my phone, walking through an airport, huffy.
Okay, so it's all conjecture at this point.
What's that lawyer doing wearing men's shorts at the airport?
Of all the times to try to dunk on somebody with a smart word.
Your own mother.
And then she said, she got so pissed off at me.
She's like, conjecture.
And I was like, well, you know, and I knew what I did.
And she's like, say conjecture again.
Yo, she burned it.
And I was like, god damn it.
And then we got in like a pretty big argument.
God, yeah.
And then I got on the plane.
Kelly Jordan for the win, though.
Yeah, Kelly Jordan went dunking on me.
That's when I landed.
So I landed in Portland.
And I was telling you guys last night but I always
told her I was like you don't need to pick me up at the airport
and so she didn't pick me up at the airport
and I landed I was like god damn it
man I got home
and I got
like I took my contacts out and shit and then I go upstairs
she's like you gonna breathe a little heavier
a few more times I was like shit
alright I'm mad at all right there's nothing worse than when you're a little peeved
and you're like audibly huffing
and then someone calls you out because you're like
damn they're right but like please let me have this
I didn't realize I was trying to prove
I did that too when my car died
I was in the kitchen huffing and puffing
and Ian's on the couch and he comes in the kitchen he's like
so you're breathing pretty heavy.
Like, I noticed.
Oh, yeah.
Conjecture.
Conjecture.
Wow.
I've never ever.
I used it.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
For sure.
What a dickhead.
Where did it come from?
I have no idea.
I haven't been watching any lawyer shows or anything.
In the way that it's like in that conversation.
It's a lawyer term.
Most of my words.
Man.
I'd like to imagine you saying that to the doctor would be so funny.
This doctor is conjecture.
He's like, so you're going on with your mom and you're like, okay, well, it all seems like conjecture at this point.
You're talking to the doctor, calling him by his first name.
So, Alan, what you're telling me is conjecture at this point.
Alan, I went to medical school for fun.
So, it's all conjecture at this point.
You're talking to me about infection conjecture?
This is infection conjecture.
Yeah, dude.
Did you ever watch Schoolhouse Rock?
I was so bummed after I said it.
I knew immediately, like, you asshole.
Man.
See, if I'm walking by and I hear someone say that,
I'm like wow look
at that person it totally fooled me yeah but not me if you saw me say you'd be like i saw that guy
you're like you're at the cinna bunch so you're like so it's all conjecture at this point
when you say you're out of frosting are you sure
oh no so it's all conjecture you haven't looked in the back fridge yeah i know about the back
fridge you have root beer.
You have cinnamon rolls.
What you're saying is you can't make those into one thing.
I told you, and I'll tell your manager,
I'll pay for the frosting for five cinnamon rolls.
I only want it on one.
Find it.
We're in Los Angeles.
Find it.
You're saying you can't do it,
but I haven't seen you pick up the phone and make a call.
It's all conjecture at this point.
All I've heard is no.
Listen, we're conjecturing here.
Meanwhile, first of all,
go give your boss a conjecture job
and get me more frosting.
Put the frosting in my briefcase.
Sir, can I go through your luggage?
Yeah, I'm going to find a bunch of conjecture frosting
and a bottle of sand in there.
Right when we all agreed that this was going to be
the topic, I got so pumped
to tell that story.
What a prick. I just picture myself
walking through the airport thinking I'm
cool. I'm a comedian.
We do a podcast. This is my job. I'm like,
I'm fucking dope.
And then strangers just hear me.
So it's all conjecture at this point. You're not definitely
going to be admitted.
Mom, the screws in your head. Vis-a all conjecture at this point. You're not definitely going to be admitted. That's what I said.
The screws in your head.
Vis-a-vis the screws in your head.
I don't like the dichotomy of your voice right now, Mom.
Why don't you screw your head on a little tighter?
Fucking straight, Mom.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh. David, this is not conjecture.
It is definitely time for your first pick.
It's not conjecture, but vis-a-vis, I like to say tangential.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it makes me feel so smart when I'm just saying that things are near each other.
Like, David, can I park at the 7-Eleven or should I park it in front of your house?
Well, they're tangential.
The spicy garlic and the hot are tangential to each other.
I like to keep the blue cheese tangential to the wings.
And, you know, that's me.
I went to Duke, but whatever.
You know, it's not a big, you know, you eat how you want to eat.
I'm not here to judge you.
Relating to or along a tangent.
It's very simple.
Hardly touching a matter.
Peripheral.
Tangential. That is a great word.
It is a perfect make you sound smart word.
It sounds like a fruit.
It's something you use.
Oh yeah, I got dried tangentials.
I picked them in the backyard.
Every year, Southern California.
I got hydrogenated tangentials.
You know what the secret to this chicken is?
It's the tangential demiglace.
A lot of people don't know that.
A lot of people don't know that.
I went on a first date the other night.
Tangential is a really nice girl.
Also, you spill something on a nice white shirt,
spray some tangential juice on it.
Comes right out. Comes right out. That's all they do in Sicily. You spill something on a nice white shirt, spray some tangential juice on it. Crazy.
Comes right out.
Comes right out.
That's all they do in Sicily.
Yeah.
That's old white.
That's all they do in Sicily.
Old, old Italian trick.
Tangential.
That's so dope.
Oh, that's dope.
I'm afraid it's tangential.
What color is my Fiat?
It's tangential.
It's not fucking orange.
It's tangential, Debra. I remember when I was 17, I drank a whole bottle's tangential. It's not fucking orange. It's tangential, Debra.
I remember when I was 17,
I drank a whole bottle of tangential Barnett's vodka.
I can't even smell it.
Yeah, I can't even.
Get that shit away from me, dude.
I just puke everywhere.
That's tangential, mother.
It's conjecture at this point.
No, I can't wear a tangential suit.
I'm earth tones.
We know that.
Yeah, tangential.
We sent the boys at West Coast Customs
to paint your car.
Okay, so like, we went with sort of a tangential
with a...
What do you mean?
Can I do that voice?
You just did. It's specifically the guy from West Coast.
What was his name?
Ish?
Yeah.
Ish.
I still think I shouldn't.
I apologize to everyone who's offended by me saying tangential in a Mexican accent.
You're all right.
I apologize.
I'm not even going to open this accent thing.
Yeah, tangential.
That's a great pick.
This is awesome.
It was time for my...
Were you recently heard in a Lime Scooter accent?
Please come to the law offices.
Tangential, tangential.
We work for you.
Over the last year, tangential and tangential have won over $10 million
in slip and fall settlements at Arby's alone in Southern California.
We specialize in suing roast beef restaurants.
Not just Arby's, but that's what top rounds.
We do RB and RV law.
You do RB?
Don't even bring up Salino and Barnes
around tangential and tangential.
Or Orphalian.
No.
Oh, man.
Orphalian, the Orphalian tangential beef,
that's the Hatfields
and the McCoys of LA County.
They have a blood feud.
It's like the Lycans and the vampires.
Since they got here on the boats.
God help you if you bring up tangential around Orphalian.
You know where it all started? A four-way stop in Glendale.
That's right. Two of them are still there.
That's my first...
That's so funny.
I'm writing...
I'm writing a movie called A Four-Way Stop in Glendale.
It's a sequel to Once Upon a Time in America.
Well, here, now what?
Oh, boy.
For my first and second picks, as it is, as it is, as it is.
As it is.
With my first pick. I made the earth sick. I made the it is. With my first pick.
I made the earth sick.
With the third pick I made the earth sick.
My first pick.
Perfunctoric.
Oh yeah.
I love funk.
I love disco.
It's a real fun word to say.
If you don't like my music.
You ain't got to choose.
This is not a funk riff that's working. It'd be fun to try to define that. If you don't like my music, you ain't got to choose. You know what would be a fun thing?
This is not a funk riff that's working.
It'd be fun to try to define that.
Can you look up the definition of that word?
What do you think it is?
I'd love to find that word.
What do you think it is?
You guys all know what it is.
I have a pretty good guess.
You see how freaked out Sean?
It's not only that we're doing words that make you feel smart.
Now Sean's doing this weird posturing.
He's doing strange things with his hands. Now Sean's doing this weird posturing that he's doing strange things
with his hands. His back's up off the couch.
He's touching the wall like Shane.
I told you my
back hurts, so I sit like this now.
Now I sit up straight.
I mean, what would you guys
say that that were?
I mean, like we all know what it means.
Like tangentially, what do you guys think?
Vis-a-vis meaning.
Basically, I don't know it.
What do you think, if you had to guess?
I have, will you do me a favor?
Yes.
And use it in a sentence.
Yeah.
Please.
It seems like you gave a perfunctory effort at best in English class.
Weak.
Yeah, minimal.
You're doing that posture thing again.
You're touching your arm.
My fingers are all rigid.
What am I doing?
My heart.
Perfunctory,
carried out with a minimum
of effort or reflection.
Would you use it as a sentence?
Yes.
Define perfunctory for me.
The person just goes,
you.
Damn.
Damn.
I thought we were kidding, Zach.
Damn, son.
And then you bring in some serious shit.
Damn, son.
That's a good one.
When was the last time you used it, you think?
I'll probably sprinkle it once a month.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Usually at work, you know?
Yeah, when you need to swing heavy hard.
In the middle of the sentence.
Because if it comes up at the beginning or the end,
people are going to for sure bring it up.
Yeah, you got to glaze over it.
Louie's just in the back.
Excuse me.
Pardon me, what did you say?
What do you think it means?
I'm going to start drinking again.
Did you say perfume factory?
He gave a perfume factory effort at best.
First track off the album of the same title,
Perfume Factory.
Yeah.
Sauvage.
Sauvage.
Don't you dare.
Barrier jewels.
I'll drag you to the Galleria.
Barrier jewels in the desert.
I want to smell like a dirty guy
burying all of his bracelets in the desert.
I'm just going to Macy's.
Which one smells like hell?
I want to smell like I should be rich, but I'm broke.
Sauvage.
Perfunctory, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is perfect.
Johnny Depp did not give a perfunctory effort in burying all that jewelry.
No.
He really got it down there in the earth.
He meant it.
Yeah.
Perfunctory is my first word.
That's great.
That's my second one.
It's great.
That's a word you can use where you try to jump in front of a problem.
Like if someone's about to accuse you
and you go, listen, I understand.
My performance here has been a little perfunctory.
And then they go like, oh, wow, he really grasped it.
You've reflected on it?
You reflected and found the exact word
that explains your behavior in this McDonald's.
But the perfunctory was a Detroit area funk club.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. In the late 70s. It's where ABBA was area funk club. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
In the late 70s.
It's where ABBA was discovered.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was just a guy named Functory,
and you're like, perfunctory.
It still holds the record for the most childbirths
to happen in a place that's not a hospital.
I've heard that.
Man, the smells on that dance floor.
The perfunctory.
The smells on that dance floor. The smells on that dance floor.
Get a whiff of the sound of the 70s, you know what I mean?
My second word, umbrage.
Ooh, yes.
I take great umbrage.
Yeah.
I take umbrage.
Now, Sean, what would you venture to guess?
I like all soccer shorts, I really like Umbridge the best
why do you know that Umbro
is a brand of shorts but you don't know what the word Umbridge means
that is so crazy
and they never made mesh shorts
because I'm not stupid I'm ignorant
there's a difference
I was going to pick that
you should have that on a shirt
I'm not stupid and I'm just ignorant
I'm not stupid I'm just not educated
I'm not stupid I'm dumb okay there's a I'm not stupid, I'm dumb, okay?
There's a difference.
Either way,
it's kind of out of nowhere,
but Zach's street smart joke.
I got to see Zach do stand-up the other day.
He's got a joke
about how his sister's book smart
and he's street smart.
Yeah, it's hilarious.
It's so fucking funny, dude.
Thank you.
It is so funny.
Is it on YouTube or anything?
I don't think so.
It's hilarious.
I don't know.
Everybody listening,
find a way to watch it.
It's so funny.
Clearly you gave far more than a perfunctory effort at writing that joke.
I'm saving it for the BET cipher.
So it's all fucking conjecture, isn't it, Mom?
She took umbrage with that remark.
Whether I vis-a-vis clean my room or not.
Basically don't fucking look at me, stranger.
People only say umbrage in the context of
taking umbrage. Yes. That's the
only way I've ever heard of it. But what about giving umbrage?
I'm going to give umbrage. Yeah, I'm going to start mixing it in there.
That sounds like a sex act.
Fucking umbrage.
How was that date last night? Well,
she gave me umbrage.
I went to Cambridge Community College. Umbrage.
I did my undergrad at Umbridge.
Yeah, I'm a dental tech now.
It's probably my favorite
Red Hot Chili Pepper song.
Great way to save time.
Oh, man.
Oh, where am I living?
Umbridge.
Umbridge.
Umbridge. Where do I living? Umbridge. Umbridge.
Umbridge.
Umbridge.
Where do I live, Umbridge?
I'm an Umbridge troll.
Under the bridge.
What is the actual definition of Umbridge?
Umbridge, offense or annoyance.
I've definitely taken Umbridge with a lot of people.
Yeah.
Not without consent, though.
I'm taking it.
No.
No, God. I probably take Umbridge 15 to 16 different times on the drive to work. Oh, yeah. taken umbridge with a lot of people yeah not without consent though i'm taking no no god
i probably take umbridge 15 to 16 different times on the drive to work oh yeah i believe that you've
seen you've thrown an umbridge or two i've seen you take the most umbridge i've taken a lot of
umbridge you and adam have taken the most umbridge out of any people i've ever met i got a whole i'll
pull a fucking u-haul trailer just to keep my umbridge in it sometimes it's like a golden gate
bridge umbridge um's there to stay.
That thing's going to last to stay in time.
Earthquake proof.
David,
time for your second pick.
My second pick is, this one is crazy
because it is a word
that I know
exactly what it means.
And I
pretty much always use it in an inappropriate
context because I think it makes
me sound smarter.
I'm going with quarantine.
So you just expect me
to quarantine my
feelings for you?
Jessica!
I know what you're doing.
Have you used it like that?
I've used it.
Yeah.
I've used.
Yeah.
Oh, that's wild.
I've said that to a woman.
I'm sorry.
I can't text you tonight.
I'm putting my phone in quarantine.
So I'm just supposed.
I'm just supposed to quarantine my feelings for what's important for you.
Huh?
Quarantine's my birthstone.
It was also your name when you were a dancer.
Go to quarantine. it was also your name when you were a dancer that's right give it up for quarantine
funny thing about me Onyx is my birthstone
and my dancer name at Sassy
everybody give it up for Onyx
and the band you were in
I gotta say if they said give it up for Onyx
and you walked out
that would be
the craziest bait and switch.
All right, we got a family that takes his dick out.
You have a full business suit on, but like a big chain.
The fact that in your mind you thought you could have been an Onyx is crazy.
Now, Sean, you're sure you want me to bring you out as Onyx?
Yes.
Yes. Yes. Kevin, shit. Yeah. They're sure you want me to bring you out as Onyx? Yes. Yes.
They're going to get it.
I'm here nine hours early. I want to be called Onyx.
Yes, I am.
I'm calling vis-a-vis my home equity
loan. Oh, my name. It's Onyx
Jordan.
What a cruel, cruel joke to
play on a child.
If I named my...
Your prodigy?
It would probably be a red-headed child onyx.
Onyx.
Oh, man.
Yeah, quarantine.
It's right there.
Sean, you know what quarantine means, right?
I don't want to do this with everyone.
I mean, I do know what it means, but this is the thing.
It's hard to actually define.
Like, to set aside or isolate.
There we go. Ian's using all actually define like to set aside or isolate. There we go.
Ian's using all my picks and the definition for other picks.
It's like a isolate triangle.
Isolate as you apologizing for showing up to a meeting 15 minutes.
Isolate.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Isolate.
I was at,
I was Umbridge.
And it went up.
Oh, man.
We are some stupid motherfuckers.
We are stupid.
We are silly, silly men.
What is time?
All conjecture at this point.
I'm sorry.
I was so late.
I was on bridge.
Oh, so funny.
I had to say it twice.
I was on bridge.
I didn't have cell reception.
Well, I'll frack quarantine.
No.
No.
Yeah, quarantine, dude.
Also, like, if you come back from space,
you get quarantined for a minute.
Yeah, yeah.
In case you have any weird space disease.
Or if you bring a weird animal from overseas. Yeah, you get quarantined for a bit. Yeah. Yeah. In case you have any weird space disease. Or if you bring a weird animal
from overseas. Yeah you get quarantined.
And then you get married. Someone texts you like
hey what are you up to David and you're like in quarantine
and you just that's what you leave it at.
When really
I mean I'm just heartbroken. Quarantined.
I love the romantic quarantine
thing. My heart's gonna mend.
I love the new Quarantino
movie dude.
What's a fun time in Hollywood?
Quentin Quarantino?
Quentin Quarantino, dude.
Quentin Quarantino.
He's the Guatemalan Quentin Tarantino, really.
That's the goddamn Guatemalan Tarantino.
Yeah, Quentin Tarantino.
He's amazing.
Talk with respect.
What is it?
Isolated Bastards?
Oh.
Sure.
Quarantine.
Sean, it's time for your second pick.
My second pick.
The Star Wars.
The Star Wars that came out.
It might have been The Last Jedi.
The first one with Kylo Ren.
Oh, Force Awakens.
Is that what it was?
Yeah.
Force Awakens.
Skywalker says this word twice, and I'd never used it before then.
And then I used it heavily for about three months after the movie.
And I was like, oh oh you sound like a prick but
the word is hubris oh yeah yeah i i'd never said it in my whole life and then he says it twice in
like the same scene and it bugged the shit out of me but i was also like i mean he sounds pretty
cool you were also like the hubris my hubris didn't come in until like fifth, sixth grade.
Mine didn't come in until I was 37.
Hubris.
The hubris of saying that word twice in one scene.
It still bugs me to no end that they said it twice in the same.
I want to say it's the same scene.
If that movie sneaks its way into the same movie twice,
or if that word sneaks its way into the same movie twice, it's weird to me.
Hubris. That's a once a movie word. We if that word sneaks its way into the same movie twice, it's weird to me. Hubris.
That's a once a movie word.
We've said it like 14 times on this podcast.
Hubris.
It's also what happens if you get a circumcision
when you have a big penis.
That's hubris.
That's hubris.
I got hubris on bridge.
I'm here vis-a-vis cutting your son's dick
it also sounds like
a teen bully
hubris
yeah I can't go down
that street
hubris and his friends
are there
hubris
Royce
cheddar
yeah they took
my fucking bike last week
Royce
Royce is a tough name
Royce is a tough name
man we watched that
Royce the 5'9 freestyle
oh he's great oh he's good what did what did you say I was going to the bathroom what do you said like I wonder if there was a Royce is a tough name. Royce is a tough name. Man, we watched that Royce the 5'9 freestyle. Oh, he's great.
Oh, he's good.
I was going to the bathroom.
What do you said?
Like, I wonder if there was a Royce that was 6'4".
Royce the 6'4".
And he had his differential.
Yeah, they were like, well, Royce is coming.
Like, which Royce?
Which Royce?
The tall one.
Which Royce?
Which Royce?
Yeah, hubris.
And also, I spelled it H-U-B-R-I-S.
That's how I'm correct.
There's another one on here
that I spelled it
and it auto-corrected to two different words
that sound like the word.
My guess is going to be
macaroni to macaroon.
Neither one of those
make you sound smart.
Macaroon?
They don't make me sound smart. Unless you say I invented before either one of those. you sound smart. Macaroons? They don't make me sound smart.
Unless you say I invented before either one of those.
I'm saying your list.
Are these macaroons or are these conjecture?
Macaroons was a special battalion of pimps
that was in the Civil War.
My great-grandfather was a macaroon for the Union.
He was a green macaroon.
First the cavalry, then the macaroons would go in,oon for the union. Use a green macaroon. First the cavalry,
the macaroons would go in, and then the infantry.
Oh my god.
Send in the macaroons to chill everyone out.
Is this macaroon
tangential flavor?
Oh my god.
Oh, that is a tangential flavor.
Like I said, I got a tree in the back.
The hubris you have to bring these
tangential macaroons.
Zacula, it is time for your second and third.
Count Zacula from Glensylvania.
Second pick, I'm going to go draconian.
Ooh.
I don't even know what that shit means.
I think it's...
Okay, hold on, hold on.
Define that.
Please, David, try to define that word.
Well, I think whenever I hear it in context,
it means something,
it always sounds like something like torturous
or something like that.
Like you'd be like, oh, my boss is like,
he's almost draconian with how mean he is to me at work.
So that's, context clues would say something like that.
Yeah.
Ian just yawned.
What?
Ian yawned and motioned at me No one puts baby in a corner
Now give us your shitty version of it
David's neck is saved
Now it's your turn
Do you have the hubris to think you know what it means?
I can get boners
Don't call me perfunctory
Hey, hey, hey I can get boners. Don't call me perfunctory.
Hey, hey, hey.
I can get hard.
There's no conjecture about that.
Have you seen me not get a boner?
Well, that's conjecture.
Exactly.
The working title for Stankonia before Stankonia.
Stankonian?
You're laughing a lot today, boys. I'll tell you that.
It's your favorite wrapper and your least favorite
vegetable.
Oh, these are draconians.
Broccoli clown posse?
The insane carrot posse.
That's it.
Carrots are definitely my least favorite.
Turnip Shakur.
Draconian.
It means like excessively harsh or severe.
Yeah.
Beats by Dre.
It's fun to use in like when you're definitely had day jobs where
you put in perfunctory
performances day after day.
Those are called jobs, my friend.
And then they give you the what for.
And then you just go, listen, I can do all this.
I can come in here on time
with a semi-smile on my face.
But what I can't handle are these draconian
rules that you are forcing upon me vis-aile on my face, but what I can't ignore are these draconian rules that you are forcing upon me,
vis-a-vis my life.
Perhaps even foisting upon me.
You got foisted.
Man, Larry, you got foisted.
If you don't foist, you last.
Foist of all.
You know, there's been plenty of reviews that say it's pretty much a podcast about nothing.
Boy, they're right.
They are 100% right.
If you're not Diane von Furstenberg,
you're Diane von Lastenberg, my friends.
Voiced and foremost, it's a podcast about friendship.
Voiced and foremost.
Voiced and foremost.
Nobody even took feist.
Draconian is what you picked.
Oh, I love it.
We don't really have draconian rules about what we talk about on here.
No, we're smooth.
And your third pick?
The opposite of that.
I'm going to go portend.
Wow.
Mostly it's because a word, when you say it people go did you mean pretend
And you go no you idiot
At least I was pretending to be a Dracula
Stop pointing at me
You better stop pointing that gun at my dad
It's from Reservoir Dogs
That's right
Now that
Okay
I have no idea what that word means Pretend Reservoir Dogs. That's right. Now that, okay.
I have no idea what that word means. What?
Oh, pretend?
Portent.
I know what pretend means.
No, I said portent.
You dickhead.
I said portent.
It's cool tending for poor people.
It's what the Republicans do with social welfare.
These are my pennies.
You don't have any idea.
Absolutely not.
Nothing.
Give me a solid.
Use it in a sentence.
I'm going to give it a shot.
You want me to do it?
That was the most serious I've seen Zach in quite some time.
You want me to do it?
And he goes, yeah, I think that'd be best.
I don't want to portend to know what I'm talking about.
I think that'd be best for everybody.
I think everybody would benefit if you did it.
The fact that he was coughing into a rag
earlier in the movie pretends
something down the line might be happening.
Kind of implies?
Yeah. Really?
It means to...
It's like something bad in the future, right?
It's a warning or a sign that something bad is going to happen later on.
I just love that that's the...
That's the sentence that popped into your head,
the fact that he was coughing into a rag.
I watched Philadelphia the other day.
A red herring?
No, red herring is a different...
That's the other way.
A red herring is like something that misleads you.
Yeah.
Or it's just a red fish.
I mean, it depends on the context.
Some like budget Swedish fish.
Ew, red herring.
Red herring was the Scandinavian Red Fox.
Man, I thought these were going to taste good.
Sean.
Yes.
Oh, David, cool shoes, dude.
I've seen those before.
Sean.
Yeah.
Time for your third pick.
My third pick, when I was a child.
This is when you make the earth sick.
I was a...
Is that an actual line from something?
Jay-Z
And with a third pick
I made the earth sick
Yeah, I didn't know that
Yeah, yeah
Now I know that
Let's talk about Michael Jordan
Because he was the third pick
Who was the first and second pick?
Hakeem
Hakeem Olajuwon at the time
And then Sam Bowie
Really?
Granted by your
Portland Trailblazers
We had Clyde Drexler
We already had Clyde Drexler.
You know, he had a pretty dope nickname back in the day.
It's Clyde the Clyde, right?
Clyde the Clyde.
If you believe my fucking idiot friend.
Did he really think that or was he trying to convince you?
He really thought that.
God, he was such an asshole.
Sean.
The Sean Jordan.
So I collected cards when I was a child.
But Dussie, the but Dussie, toodle.
B-A, but Dussie toodle.
Zach Toscani, the but Dussie University.
The but Dussie University.
Ladies and gentlemen, your Laker girl.
I got a B-A in Dussie.
I got a B-A, D-Dussy. I got it.
B-A-Dussy Turtle.
Where's Pussy Doody?
B-A-Dussy Turtle.
A bit of a sore throat.
Thank you, my friend.
I collected cards, and there was a football card brand, I think, that had this name.
And so I thought it was a word that made you sound smart when I was a child. I had no idea
what it meant. And I rarely
use it as an adult, but I still sometimes will throw it
out there. The word is pinnacle.
Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. Pinnacle.
So there was, I remember when I was
a kid, I would say,
Mom, can I get a pack of pinnacle? I had no idea
what pinnacle meant.
That's one of the times on a Hawaiian pizza, right?
She was making a bacon and pinnacle?
She was like, Sean, I thought you smoked lights.
No, I'd like a pinnacle-otta, please.
If you like pinnacle-ottas.
What's that thing Jews eat?
Pinnacles?
Pinnacles.
Are those pinnacles kosher?
Is that a dill or a sweet pinnacle
I hate sweet pinnacles
I think it's a fried pinnacles
don't come in here I'm looking at pinnacles
he likes some pinnacles in the background
my grandma was a pinnacle girl
in the 50's
they painted her on a B2 bomber
I like the hook after the punch
Are they still picking hot ladies on bombers
Or is that like just World War 2
I don't know if they still got bombers
You know a
Air Force General so you need to find this out for us
Yeah get us
See what's up with the bombers
Just be like listen I bombed a few times on stage
Can we do a ride along in a bomber
Get us in a stealth bomber Get us in a stealth bomber.
We deserve it.
Do the podcast from it.
We are live from...
I can't tell you where.
Just a whisper away from Redacted.
You guys don't have to whisper.
We're hovering over the Ukraine right now.
We're quietly hovering over the Ukraine.
Welcome to another brand new episode of All Fans See Everything.
Yeah, man. Pinnacle. I knew
immediately. I was like, well, that word sounds
dope. It's fun to say. Yeah.
And I never knew what it meant.
I probably didn't know what it meant until
10 years ago. You may say
taking Sam Bowie is the pinnacle of hubris.
That is.
You know what I'm looking forward to?
I like how you quarantined your bad takes.
I take umbrage with it to this day.
I don't know if you've thought about this yet,
but the last time we did this,
at the end of the show,
you used all of the words in a...
Oh, I've been thinking about it.
I'm looking forward to it.
I've been sweating.
I mean, I haven't been like...
There's just blood dripping from the back of your head
to keep it from us.
Yeah, no.
I'll get there when I get there.
You keep saying earthquakes.
Anybody else?
I'm taking the back roads, but yeah, I'll get there eventually.
Yeah, pinnacle.
Pinnacle.
Pinnacle.
Very good.
It's got that hard C in there.
Didn't you get in a fight for calling someone a hard C recently?
I'm a hard C, man.
I'm a hard grip. There's no other way around it.
Put the microphone by your mouth,
David. Sean said conjecture, but it
sounded like he was dropping a hard C at the airport.
I saw it.
I got your hard C swinging, I'll tell you that.
I bet you do.
Hard Cs, that's what you call a Coors Natural, right?
Not a Coors Light.
Yellow dog or a hard sea.
Yeah, it was T-minus some hard seas at the table.
So it's just hard seas at this point.
You want me to get two Yamasuns and two hard seas?
Yamasuns.
Those were all my grades were hard seas.
I never got it.
I think they were probably softer than you'd think.
I never got an easy soft sea
that's what you need a cutting shark for is to sail through those
hard seas dude
Ian calls Irish people hard seas for some reason
yeah yeah
they call each other cucks
they do
they love that word
how come British people it's just like a normal word for them
it's weird how it is so bad here.
There are dignified, elegant women from England at my work who will say cunt.
And they just like toss it in.
And you're like, wow.
Huh.
You know?
Like not even at a, yeah, I was at Starbucks.
The lady was being quite.
Oh, he's a cunt.
Oh, he's a cunt.
Don't worry about him.
They use it like a lunchtime swear.
I think it sounds better than their accent.
It really does.
It sounds so blunt in ours.
Owee's a great cunt, isn't he?
Even that, it's like the word means everything.
How was Jamie's birthday?
Well, he didn't go, but he's a bit of a cunt.
A bit of a cunt.
When I'm like, oh yeah, Jeremy's a cunt.
It sounds so much worse.
Who's Jeremy?
He's a cunt, I told you.
I don't want to hang out with Jeremy.
Yeah, no, you don't.
I'm scared.
Don't make me hang out with Jeremy.
My college girlfriend used to say, cut up, no toast.
That was her.
I don't get it.
See you next Tuesday.
Oh, yeah. Boss is being real. See you next Tuesday. Oh, yeah.
Boss is being a real see you next Tuesday.
You know, I get it.
So you're off for the week. Someone doesn't get it.
Wait, how did you get Paitama?
You said see you next Tuesday. It's Wednesday.
You're here. I don't understand. Have I been foisted?
Laura.
David, time for your third pick.
My third
pick is going to be
Yeah, this is one I also don't ever know
But I know what it means
And it's like you rarely ever need to say it
I'm picking Bastion
Oh, Bastion
Because it's always
You're always trying to say something is the last Bastion
I don't know what happened to the first Bastion
Last Bastion Bach Bastion't know what happened to the first Bastion. Last Bastion Bach.
Bastion Maniscalco. Get tickets.
Yeah.
Or don't.
Damn.
Damn, Oprah and him.
Remember when Sean said Oprah was a bitch earlier?
I do remember that. That was crazy.
Bastion, there's not much
to say about it.
I'd like to run this one past Sean.
What do I think it actually means? I'm going to try to define it
Say that sentence again
No
David I'm asking you please don't listen to him
He's not your dad please
Use Bastion in a sentence please
Oh he's the last Bastion
Of cultural relevance
How'd that do it How'd that do it He's the last bastion of cultural relevance.
How'd that do it?
Or revenants.
How'd that do it? Yeah.
How'd that $5 worth sandwich come in?
Sort of like a touchstone of something that was?
Describe touchstone.
You know when you pick up a rock and you're going to throw it through windows?
Sean's doing the thing when you didn't read the book.
And he's got to do the book report.
He's like, I could allow you.
Touchstone of something that was.
That is for sure book report energy.
If you want to know what happens with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, read it yourself.
Ten pages.
Miss Gladstone, I could go you in and out.
I could rehearse the whole goddamn book for you
in and out. What's that going to do for you?
A touchstone of something.
What I think the book was,
it was a touchstone to something that happened
before it. It was a touchstone
of something that was.
A bastion, if you will.
That sounds like something David Sedaris was like,
nah, I can't call my book that.
Now, excuse me, I must go to the men's room.
I have to bastion bait. Excuse me, I must go to the men's room. I have to mastion bait.
Excuse me, I'm bleeding
out the back of my abs.
I'm bastioning
in here. It's like beating off when you're mad,
you know? Yeah, I mean,
that is it.
It's my stepson. Will you give me a solid read of the actual
definition? Bastion, give me a beer. Well,
there's two. There's one that's actually part
of a fort. It's like part of a fortification. A bastion give me a beer well it's this too it's this one that's actually part of a fort it's like part of a fortification okay a bastion but though it's commonly used as an institution
place or person strongly defending or upholding particular principles not pinnacles attitudes
or activities oh yeah kind of like a touch like a touch to something that was or something that
will be i mean i'm gonna say that it could describe it.
No. Super wrong.
A touchstone is something that was.
It means everything.
It's the genius.
It's anything.
It's any of our words that we think.
I could be wronger.
You'd have to give him a C just based on the hubris
of saying that.
No, I mean hubris is a touchstone
to everything. How wouldris is a touchstone to everything.
How would I describe a touchstone
to something that was?
My version of that was always, it's really about
innocence lost, isn't it?
It's the story of America.
You motherfucker.
A touchstone of something
that was.
God damn it.
You should get that tattooed on your forearm.
Bastion, of course,
is Ariel's little friend
from The Little Mermaid.
Yeah.
Bastion Salamanzi
skates for primitive.
You skate for flip.
That's cool.
It's a young French boy
that brought in
full cab flips.
A French boy.
He's a young French boy.
Time for my third pick.
Make the Earth sick.
We're going to make
the Earth sick.
Shout out to David. I'm going to make the earth sick. Shout out to David.
I'm going to use the word malaise.
Oh, yeah.
A little white wine.
Put it on the fish.
That's a malaise.
Malaise on the side, please.
That's how I refer to my ex-girlfriends.
I'm kind of hard, so no malaise for me.
Is this malaise aioli?
We can't land in Phoenix tonight, ladies and gentlemen. It's a little malaise for me. Is this malaise aioli? We can't land in Phoenix tonight, ladies and gentlemen.
It's a little malaise-y out.
Malaise aioli.
We're going to land in Chandler.
Malaise.
Malaise.
You know what malaise means.
One of you two, define it.
Well, it's a country in the Asia Pacific.
Malaysia.
Malaysia?
But it is just like a general sadness.
Yeah.
Right?
I've been under a general feeling of discomfort.
Yeah.
Or like, yeah, illness, uneasiness.
Just those Malaysia days.
Yeah.
Then the sun shines and I see your face.
Or if I walk into the kitchen, you're eating my chips,
and I'm like, Malaysia.
Malaysia.
I'm a soleil malaise!
I'm hot malaise!
If you have multiple wives
and you're going to the movies, malaise?
Let's go to the movies.
Yeah!
What a sweet perfunctory perfume you have um my fourth word is we use our word way more in emails than i do in real life but i for sure get down with it on emails
and that word is heretofore whoa i've never heard that word in my life You've never heard heretofore?
I don't think so
I've heard it three times
They're the best Scandinavian band playing right now
It's got a J in it
All saws, they all play saws
They all play saws
What's great about it is it's three words
that they just jam together to make one word
Use it
Huh?
Oh I know I was looking for my context if they just jammed together to make one word? Use it. Huh?
Oh, I know.
I was looking for my contacts.
I'm blind as a bat.
No, you look good, though.
What do you want to do?
Let me hear to for it.
You're coming to me complaining about my basketball shorts
when here to for you were fine
with whatever I put in my legs.
Around my legs.
See, now here's a world you weren't ready for.
My legs.
I still don't know what it means.
Damn.
Here's a curveball.
I still wouldn't be able to use it.
There are parrots in San Francisco where heretofore
they were usually confined to jungle areas.
Okay.
I might be able to use it now.
Try it.
We used to skate at the skate park,
but then it closed.
Heretofore, we skated the other one.
I didn't even get close.
Shane tore the batting cages.
I nicked one.. I nicked one.
So I nicked it.
Wait, is it a touchstone?
It's a touchstone to something that was, obviously.
God, we FaceTimed Shane at 3 a.m. Pacific last night.
So funny.
He was 3 a.m. your time.
He had just gotten home from Syracuse.
6 a.m. his time. So buck. He's 3 a.m. your time. He had just gotten home from Syracuse. 6 a.m. his time. So buck.
He's the new Orangeman.
He went to see if they would
consider changing the name to the Cranberryman.
Shigadoo.
Here to four. Do you want to try
using it again? I'd love to hear it.
I would love to hear it. I don't.
Zach. Oh, man. I don't. Zach.
Oh, man.
It's not all me.
Shane.
Rules.
Shane has probably hair that's slightly off his shoulder where heretofore used to be down to his back.
This wall, which heretofore had no burrito on it,
This wall, which heretofore had no burrito on it, suddenly has burrito suspiciously high up on it.
Taller than Shane's forehead.
There must have been a second burrito.
Heretofore.
All right, here's the facts.
Okay.
One person has a burrito.
Yes.
There's burrito on the wall.
Two facts.
It's taller than the person that has the burrito.
That's right.
We don't know it yet, but it's a fact that he did it.
Yeah.
I still don't know.
I think...
Did he try to deny that he got burrito on the wall?
He's going to deny it again.
Again?
As soon as he hears this, he's going to get mad at him.
You know the story, right?
He'll get mad.
I've heard it vaguely.
We were sitting on Zach's couch.
We had...
Went to Olay Olay.
We all had finished our food.
Shane...
So here's what I think happened.
Shane got up and he tripped on the end table that was by the couch because he tried to take the shortcut to get to Olay. We all had finished our food. So here's what I think happened. Shane got up and he tripped
on the end table that was by the couch
because he tried to take the shortcut to get to the kitchen
instead of going the long way that was
like three feet longer. He took
the shortcut, tripped, and I
think he had burrito on his hand
and smashed it into the wall. He had burrito on
his non. Which is why it was above his forehead.
Edward Burrito. No remorse.
Edward Burrito.
Blood on his hands. and blood on his hands.
I'm not allowed to drink until
I eat both these.
I would play Edward Burrito
hands.
Me too.
I'm going to play it.
Jersey Mike's hands.
About 20 minutes here.
Edward Jersey Mike 40
is a bad guy.
You don't want to meet that guy.
Jersey Michael Hands?
Edward Jersey Michael Hands?
My name's Edward Jersey Michael Hands.
David was playing Jersey Michael Hands last night
and they were both two and us,
so he went home.
Jersey Michael Hands is actually going to go first
in the draft, I'm sure.
He's got just core.
The top end speed?
Yeah, yeah, yeah guy the guy's solid man
uh david time for your fourth pick okay my fourth pick is the word it's another one of those words
it's pretty simple but it's just you know it's like putting a pig in a dress yeah it sounds
fancier either way we're gonna kiss yeah i pick corollary. Corollary. Oh.
Yeah.
From my understanding, dying out in today's oceans.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
Australia took a hit.
The Great Corollary Reef.
Now, Sean, I hate to keep doing this.
You do not hate it.
At all.
You don't hate it one bit, you fucking liar.
This sounds like conjecture to me.
You don't know?
You don't know what?
I will try to define corollary.
I have absolutely no idea what corollary means.
As a corollary, you're kind of an idiot.
That's the sentence?
Yeah.
As a corollary.
No, no, no.
I didn't
it's like
I went to the store today
and as a corollary I'll be eating
steak for dinner
heretofore I have steak to dinner
a touchstone of something that is
yes
yes he nailed it
yes C
hard C I give you a hard C on that.
My man's going to community college.
He is.
Glendale community.
Mom, I got accepted into a hard CC.
I need five hard CCs.
Five hard CCs of penicillin for some reason.
A direct or natural consequence or result.
Corollary.
Or a proposition that follows from and is often appended
to. Don't forget that part.
One already proved.
Totally. I got a
couple cases appending.
That's basically what I said.
After this we should kill a couple corollary
lights in the parking lot. Yeah.
Have a good time. Some lights.
Shotgun some corollary lights.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Some C-minuses.
Remember when I heard my older brother call a Corzine a C-minus for the first time?
I was like, whoa.
I've never heard that.
Have you ever?
No, I've never.
Have you ever heard that?
I'm from Colorado.
Yeah, man.
C-minuses.
I got a report card full of them last night.
Yeah.
Despite all the rigorous studying.
Yeah. Still got C- C minuses 2.003
keep living like that I'm going to have a corollary
by the time I'm 60
Sian
time for your fourth pick
so here's the pick that ended up being
two words
hearsay
I use hearsay I think it makes you sound smart.
And I spelled it so wrong
that it auto-corrected.
I have hearsay on my list as well.
H-E-R-E-S-A-Y is what it auto-corrected to
because I spelled it so wrong.
It's like, you love legal terms.
Conjecture and hearsay
are pretty similar, right?
Yeah, they are.
I went to Harvard Law.
Mom, what you're telling me, is it conjecture or hearsay? Yes. Yeah, they are. Yeah, I went to Harvard Law. They're corollaries. Mom, what you're telling me,
is it conjecture or hearsay?
Yes.
Oh, they do.
Yeah, I didn't really think about that.
They are kind of the same.
Yeah.
I feel like hearsay has a little bit more
of a negative tinge to it.
Conjecture is like,
listen, we're just discussing things back and forth
and there's nowhere to go.
I don't like to get wrapped up in hearsay shearsay.
It's all about the hearsay shearsay
bullshit.
Yeah, hearsay. How do you spell it
by the way?
H-E-A-R-S-A-Y.
No shit.
There's also heresy, which is a very
similar word.
You've definitely used that word before.
Heresy.
Heretic.
I said heretic.
I said heretic way more than you think I have.
For sure.
Yeah.
Yep.
Hearsay.
Hearsay.
It's hearsay.
Big Ivan Carmel draft for you, dude.
A lot of legal time.
It's going to be stoked.
Zach, time for your fourth and then final pick.
Yeah.
Fourth pick.
I'm going to go transubstantiation.
What?
Yeah, dude.
They don't let me do that anymore
because
they used to pay for the pint,
but not anymore.
I trans
transubstantiation.
What did you just say, Sean?
Substabulation.
Hold it.
I don't want any substabulation in this dance.
First of all, I know you carry knives.
Turnabout is fair play.
I have no idea what this word is.
Let me try to guess what it is.
Yeah, I don't know what it is.
You're going to get it right probably, you dickhead.
God.
If you break it down to the root word.
Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do.
Submarine sandwich. Submarine sandwich
on a train. A sandwich you eat on a train?
A gas station submarine sandwich
that used to be a girl.
Yeah.
Is that what it is?
That was barely okay.
Barely okay.
Wouldn't have been okay if I said it.
What?
It's funny that you said that.
Transubstantial.
Is it like blaming one thing on another
even though they're not connected but trying to connect them?
No.
It's very specific.
I only know it because I took a bunch of reformation
classes
it's
what
separates Lutheranism
and Protestantism
from Catholics
it's basically
the 95 theses
so Catholics believe that the
body of Christ is actually the body of Christ,
whereas transubstantiation is basically like, no, this is a symbol.
You're not actually digesting the body of blood of Christ.
Yes, it is.
Yeah.
It's Jesus' body.
And I use it so rarely.
But when I get to.
I think you feel smart as fuck when you do.
It's a hoagie that used to have a hang down, right?
It's a what that used to?
A hoagie.
A hoagie that used to have a hang down?
Oh, boy.
I'm very hungry.
They just get a sandwich.
I'm going to show on CBS coming out, man.
I can't comment on any of this
Oh man
You're trying to talk about the Eucharist
The Eucharist is another
Are you Eucharist? I'm the Eucharist bro
Transubstantiation
Yeah
Amazing Fifth final pick Did you know that was on
i don't know no yeah that could have been some midwestern shit you know it could be anywhere
is it was it pert near did you pick pert near no no i did know what it means man a lot on the board
but i'm gonna go man a lot on the board a lot of of words out there. A lot of words. A lot of words I say.
Nouveau reach?
Oh!
Yeah!
I've been saying that a lot, baby!
That's the thing you put in to try to get pregnant, right?
No, she can't get pregnant with a nouveau riche.
Oh, she can't. Alright, you put the goalie in.
It lasts for three months.
A nouveau riche is like a Patrick Waugh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, nothing's getting by. Hot loads of the goalie in. It lasts for three months. A NuvaReach is like a Patrick Waugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Nothing's getting by.
Hot loads in a NuvaReach.
Jumping them all day.
Got a hot goalie.
Hot loads.
Oh.
I don't like hearing you say hot loads, but it was, I do though too.
I like it.
It's funny.
That's the problem with hot loads.
Way tighter than I wanted it to be.
I'll tell you that.
At first you're like,
I'm not into it,
but then you're like,
I'm kind of into it.
Do you want to try to take a stab
in nouveau riche
or are you not interested?
It's putting the goalie in.
No, I don't want to try to do it.
Well, I mean,
it's crazy because I,
again,
I have no idea
what it means. Use it in a sentence, please. And then I'll give it a shot because, again, I have no idea what it means.
Use it in a sentence, please, and then I'll give it a shot
because that's what the people want.
They want to get in a wreck on their way home
because they're laughing at how dumb I am.
The Kardashians are an example of nouveau riche.
Yeah, for sure.
Rich?
French for Armenian.
No.
You mean rich?
Snobby?
Famous?
It's from what I understand.
From my limited but extended vocabulary.
Vocabulary.
I think it's someone.
It's like new money.
It's someone who's like risen in stature,
but they don't know how to like operate within that world.
That's exactly what it is.
They're tacky, my dear.
Kind of like somebody who would
get his first real job and buy a dartboard.
And a puzzle table.
Yeah, and a lot of video games.
Let's not throw the puzzle table under the bus.
It's Shane at any restaurant.
I'd like the scallops on a cheese cheeseburger Can we put hollandaise sauce on the ribs
I'll pay for it all
But can we act like we're splitting it anyways
It's more fun for me
Nouveau riche
I just think this word sounds fun
I don't know if I've ever even used it honestly
But if I ever get to
I'm excited affidavit
you are going so legal
what are you just like open up a legal dictionary
I feel like you've just been to court and not known what was happening
you've been hanging out with your orfoliums?
that's what I feel like
I've been to court
you said fuck David, affidavit
you said
affidavit
love a David, support a David
I'm not happy about it.
Affidavit.
He's mad because I got one of those nouveau riches.
I can't get pregnant.
Do you know what affidavit means?
Did you look it up?
It's like a... I didn't, but I know it's like a testimony, right?
Kind of?
Mm-hmm.
Written?
Yeah.
Signed affidavit.
Man, when you paused after a test, I was really worried.
It's like a test you have to take? Is this a test you paused after a test i was really worried it's like a
test you have to take is this a test of what you said legally yeah i just think it sounds cool
that was one for me that i didn't really i've never signed we can't get married if you don't
have the sign affidavit also how do you spell it do Do you know? I don't. I do.
Well, your dad's a lawyer.
David, how do you spell affidavit?
A-F-F-A-D-A-V-I-T.
That's right.
Really?
Yeah.
Damn.
Yo, don't play me.
Stop it.
Can I have your sandwich?
No.
Don't be a dickhead.
Give me your sandwich. Oh, man.
You're going to talk all this affidavit shit
and then think I'm going to be out here giving you sandwich bites?
The official AFVD laptop almost went ass over a tea kettle on that one.
I was laughing pretty hard.
Don't be such a fucking dickhead.
Give me a sandwich, please.
Can I have it?
Back in Christmas, I don't know.
This might have been 10 years ago, I forget.
Someone would open a present, and then my brother Bear would be like,
I want that, and then he would grab it and take it.
That's really funny.
So fucking funny.
That's a really funny Christmas bit.
Oh, my God.
It's so good.
That's a really funny Christmas bit.
Affidavit, dude.
Yeah, it just sounds fun to me.
Damn.
I could say all these words in court, for sure.
They all sound like sex trafficking rings, your Lord.
Put them together.
Anyway, moving on.
Oh, it's my turn.
Anyway, we don't need to dwell on that.
Nothing to see here.
Moving on.
David.
David's pick.
Mine is sublimate.
Oh, yeah.
It just sounds cool.
I got to sublimate all the sumo re-shay into buying a dartboard.
That's what.
I've got the vinyl of 40 Ounce to Freedom if you want to go into my bedroom and sublimate.
Sean and I were sublimates the other night.
We're blasting some blood.
It got messy.
Yeah.
The final pick, my final pick, is going to be the word acrimonious.
Ooh. Ooh.
Yes.
The divorce was the fear of spiders.
That is where Aladdin met Jasmine.
You couldn't see it.
Acrimonious.
It's an audio medium,
but David put his hand on John's knee.
As if to say,
I'll carry the load for a while
until you're forced to try to
find this.
Which is happening now.
Rest easy, McKinney.
I don't know. Take your final breath.
Acrimonious? Is it a retired
football player?
Acrimonious LaVert.
Aren't you acrimonious?
He was the first tailback in the wishbone back in
Nebraska.
He's good.
He's a state senator now.
Before I learned to act right, I was acrimonious.
Yeah, no, I don't know what it means.
You ever heard it before?
Divorces are quite often acrimonious.
Loud, big, muscular.
What?
This is our divorce.
So you call your kid a loud, big, muscular ex-football player.
Acrimonious is the third lawyer between conjecture and... Well, he was the other Orfallian.
Yeah.
He was married in.
Oh.
Orfallian, Orfallian, and Acrimonious.
The fall before the Orfallians.
Quincy Acrimonious will be late today.
Acrimonious. It's Orfallian, Orfallianian, and Acrimonian. The fall before the Opholian. The Acrimonians will be late today. It's Orpholian and Opholian versus loud, big, and muscular.
That would be the firm that I'd go to.
That's a lot of DUIs at that firm.
That's all they handle.
You'll be expecting mail from loud, big, and muscular.
Just so you know.
You'll be hearing from loud, big, and muscular.
God help you.
Did I name all three of my testicles?
Hi, my name's Kyle Muscular.
Loud, big, and muscular.
Now, loud, big's one word.
Loud, big.
Loud, big, fun, beef, oven.
And the other one's called and muscular.
Loud, big, fun, beef, oven.
And muscular.
My left one's loud, big. My right one's Loud Big, my right one's
and Muscular.
Loud Big Von Beef Oven.
Loud Big Von Beef.
Loud Big.
Loud Big Von.
This is so we're clear.
Loud Big Von Beef Oven.
That's great music.
My name.
Don't make fun of my family castle.
Hi, Comedy Central.
My name is Loud Big Von Beef Oven.
Shane, we know it's you.
We've already been on this channel.
Yeah, my boy Loud Big's coming over.
He just got out.
He parked his car at prison for 10 years.
Acrimonious.
It means angry or bitter.
I have an acrimonious relationship with every other car on the road when I'm driving to work.
I feel like I just got out of the dishwasher.
I was laughing so hard.
I'm like, I don't know if I have any juice left.
This is probably what it feels like to just finish time traveling.
Yeah.
Or to run a long ways.
Yeah.
Well, that wraps it up.
Acrimonious being the final pick.
Zach, you went first.
And you took vis-a-vis, draconian, portend, transubstantiation and then nouveau riche sean you went second you took
conjecture hubris pinnacle hearsay and then affidavit those are all of him shouting at court
that's all from the same day you got probate david you went third you took tangential quarantine
bastion corollary and sublimate.
All your sons.
I went last.
Sublimate for it.
This is quarantine.
This is sublimate.
I'm going to be in New York for like six months.
I'm going to sublimate my townhouse in the valley.
I went last.
I took perfunctory, umbrage, malaise, heretofore, and acrimonious.
Yours sounds delicious.
Yeah, right?
Sounds like a spread.
What a nice bowl.
We have a nice perfunctory cod dish with a beautiful umbrage of malaise.
Oh, my gosh.
We left a lot of good ones on the board, man.
I had Autonomy.
Svengali.
Mercurial.
Svengali.
Yeah.
Trist was on there.
Trist.
IE.
I don't know if that would have counted.
Anatomically.
Well, anatomically.
Teetotaler.
Solipsistic.
Pertinent.
Pertinent.
Sepsis.
Swarthy.
Circumnavigate.
I think Swarthy makes me sound swarthy.
Fastidious. Fastidious. Sepsis. Swarthy. Circumnavigate. I think swarthy makes me sound swarthy.
Fastidious.
Yes.
Yeah.
Did we,
uh,
cavorting?
Did we do that one?
I don't think we did.
Okay.
I was wondering if we did,
and I didn't feel like looking it up.
Valitudinarian.
What the fuck is that?
That's a great question.
All right.
Yeah.
Zach's dead. it's a touchstone
Zach disappeared but his clothes are still here
he just throws a smoke bomb
and they still hold his form
but he's
I had anamorphs
goosebumps
you just started naming book titles
Amelia Bedelia
The Giving Tree even goosebumps. You just started naming book titles. Amelia Bedelia.
The Giving Tree.
Well, that wraps up the podcast vis-a-vis drafting words
that we think make us sound smart.
And although we were rather draconian
about making Sean define some of these words,
his ignorance of them
does not portend anything bad for his future.
He's a very nice, smart guy.
He's getting married soon.
Perhaps in a church. Perhaps in a church where transvestitiation
happens. It'll be full of people.
Old money. Broke people.
Even the nouveau riche might be showing up in the form
of David Borey and I.
And I say that as conjecture. I think we're actually both
very tasteful people, though I haven't seen this townhouse
in the valley lately. It is a bit
hubris, me saying that.
Perhaps the pinnacle of hubris, if you really want to get into it. It's hearsay is what it is, Sean. It is a bit, it shows hubris, me saying that, and perhaps the pinnacle of hubris
if you really want to get into it.
It's hearsay is what it is, Sean.
It's hearsay.
And I will present a sworn affidavit
at the door of anyone
who thinks my friend is Nubo Rich.
Well, that is tangentially
what we were saying.
I kind of got off on sidetrack here,
and I will now quarantine
that thought for a moment.
This is the last bastion of sanity
in this godforsaken world right now.
A corollary to that is there are other good podcasts,
but this is one of them.
So we have to sublimate my ego for a moment
so we can continue to exist in the entertainment industry,
although I only give it a perfunctory effort
because, as everyone knows, I'm kind of egotistical,
the umbrage of which has never caught up with me,
so I'm going to keep acting the way I have
until a malaise strikes me.
My comeuppance, if you will.
A dark cloud washing over the Carmel household,
which has heretofore been brilliant and kissed by the sun and good fortune.
At which point, I will develop an acrimonious relationship with my own psyche
and dive into the bottle.
Jesus, dude.
Wow.
I mean, you don't need any more wind in your sails.
Hard work all day in the gym.
I bought myself one pillow.
No pillow case.
All day alone.
That was awesome.
For those of you who can't see, I lit the lighter.
He lit the lighter.
We want to hear your words. of course, All Family Everything.
Hit us up at All Fantasy Pod on Twitter, allfantasypodcasts at gmail.com.
Shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit.
Shout out to super producer Marissa Melnick.
Yeah.
We love you.
Shout out to super producer Marissa Melnick's picture of her as a kid.
Seriously.
That's all her Twitter pictures.
You dork, we love you.
Headband is the best.
Oh my God.
What a precious little kid.
I have not seen Marissa in such a long time.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Yeah.
We see her all the time.
Damn it.
Bro.
What else?
Oh!
The AFV Patreon members.
There's about 800 of you right now.
Thank you so much for holding us down.
We could not do what we do without you.
We love you so much.
We're about to start putting out playlists every month.
I think we'll start that in February.
You guys paid for this Jersey Mike's.
Yeah, the Jersey Michael hands did.
You guys paid for a fucking wedding ring.
How about that?
That's right.
I wouldn't have been able to do that a year ago.
You paid for it?
Yes, but Sean stole one.
The crazy thing, it wasn't for any of the three of us.
Michael Bolton.
We gave it to Michael Bolton.
Yeah, shout out to everyone on the AFE subreddit and the Patreon.
That's what I was talking about.
Oof.
I started bleeding on the back of my head after I did that whole run of all the words.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I saw Stigmata just open up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Butterfly effect, dude.
Stigmata, they come.
Stigmata, they fall.
What's a stigmata with you?
Nothing.
Shout out to St. Sue Carmel.
Shout out to Frankie Ocean.
Shout out to Sid the Dude.
Shout out to Haji Beats.
Shout out to Horseback Riding on the Beach, bro. Shout out to Harvest Snaps. Shout out to Frankie Ocean. Shout out to Sid the Dude. Shout out to Haji Beats. Shout out to Horseback Riding on the Beach, bro. Shout out to
Harvest Snaps. Shout out to Harvest Snaps.
Shout out to Pure Leaf Sweet Tea.
Uh-huh.
Shout out to Bill Walton.
Shout out to
Malaise. Yeah, Malaise.
He's got Malaise. Shout out to
Walton Goggins, dude. Shout out to Walton Goggins. I saw him at
Proof Bakery, dude. Really?
Yeah.
What was he getting?
Food.
Nice.
Yeah.
That's who you went.
What are you getting?
Food?
What are you getting?
Food?
Nice.
Me too.
You can get a lot of it here.
It's kind of an industry thing to get, huh?
I'm in it.
I'm in the industry.
Yeah.
You run around with a pinnacle in your mouth?
Let me ask you a question.
You're in the entertainment industry?
Pinnacle?
Run around the house with a pinnacle?
That's perfect. Laser!
Yeah, man. So
other than that, and most importantly,
tune in again next week
for another brand new episode of
All Fantasy Everything.
Be a
Dussy Tootle! that was a hate gun podcast