American Presidents: Totalus Rankium - 11.2 James Polk

Episode Date: January 12, 2019

Polk is now in office and the youngest man ever to be so. He has declared that he will only serve one term, but he is determined to make his mark. In fact, he has a list: 4 things he wants to achieve.... He is sure he can win the eternal fights, but can he take a large chunk of land off both Mexico and Britain at the same time? Find out!   Also, in this episode, we recommend the Presidencies of the United States Podcast.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to Totalus Rankium. This week, James Polk Part 2. Hello and welcome to American Presidents Totalus Rankium. I am Jamie. And I'm Rob, ranking all of the presidents from Washington to Trump. And this is part two of James Polk. 11.2. Nice. So yeah, here we are and it's a new year. Oh yes.
Starting point is 00:00:41 It is a new year. And because it's a new year, we're going to do something just for a few of our American and Roman episodes. We've decided it's time we give a bit back to podcasts that have supported us in the past, or podcasts that we've come across that we'd like to support. So we're just going to give a shout out to some podcasts at the start of some of the next episodes. And today, we are going to say you should really listen to, if you've not already, the presidencies of the next episodes. And today, we are going to say you should really listen to, if you've not already, the Presidencies of the United States podcast. What's that one about? I'm not going to tell you, because Jerry himself is. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Jerry, Jerry. Get a load of this. He's going to tell you himself. Greetings, everyone. Fellow Totalus Rank M listener Jerry Landry here. Have you ever found yourself with a lingering question or wishing to know more about someone or something discussed in the episode after Rob and Jamie get done ranking a president? Maybe you wanted to know a little more about what got the Whiskey Rebellion going or who were X, Y, and Z of the affair during the presidency of John Adams. Perhaps you'd like to know more about the backstory of why Thomas Jefferson called for states to nullify federal laws long before everyone's favorite antebellum supervillain, John C. Calhoun, started plying in his volcano lair? If so, then I invite you to check out my podcast, The Presidencies of the United States. Each episode, I explore presidential
Starting point is 00:02:01 history in depth and break down the events each president faced in order to help the listener better understand the people and the circumstances of the time. In my podcast, the big names have to share the spotlight with individuals like Ona Judge, James McHenry, and Edmond Charles Jeunet, who may not be as well-known today, but who had key roles to play in presidential history. but who had key roles to play in presidential history. The Presidencies of the United States can be found on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Podchaser, and anywhere else fine podcasts can be found. Or you can listen through the website at presidencies.blueberry, that's B-L-U-B-R-R-Y dot com. Thanks so much. And now, without further ado, it's time to see whether Rob and Jamie think the next president is an American or an Americant.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Though I do have to ask, guys, is it too early to start lobbying for Benjamin Harrison? I kid, I kid. Though, seriously, show the Harrisons some love. Anyway, thanks for listening, and on with the show. So there you go. The Presidency's podcast is fantastically detailed. Is it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:05 And for the brief time, as in two episodes, where we overlapped time periods, because we soon shot ahead, because we don't go into anywhere near as much detail, it was fantastic to listen to and get some detail. But I still listen to it now. He's doing John Adams at the moment. So if you want to listen to more,
Starting point is 00:03:23 far more detail about those early Presidents and what was going on, yeah, check it out. And also, he's just a thoroughly nice guy. Yeah. With a great accent. Yeah. I do like that accent. Yeah, the American accent is, you know, war. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:38 Okay, right. It's been a while since we recorded. Christmas break and all that. Yes. Yeah. Just discussing off-air, trying to recap, weren't we? Who the hell he was, what's going on. You're in a wee stance.
Starting point is 00:03:50 That's all I needed to say. Cutting. Jog. Jamie's memory there. Yes, it was a cutting experience. Gouging. Oh, spooning. Yes.
Starting point is 00:04:03 You've had a while to digest, Polk. Not literally. What were your thoughts? Well, he was like the dark horse, wasn't he? He was, you've remembered. Yeah, that phrase just came to me. But I remember him being quite sickly growing up with the whole stone thing. But then McQuaid quite strong
Starting point is 00:04:22 and they used that as a rallying thing for him. And they just shoved him in, didn't they? Randomly. Well, it was Jackson wanted him to get elected. Because he was not happy that Van Buren had announced that the annexation of Texas was a bad idea. So, Dark Horse,
Starting point is 00:04:40 Polk is elected as the nominee for the presidential election. And sure enough he wins Yeah Beating Henry Clay Poor Henry Clay He'll never be president He never was
Starting point is 00:04:52 And that's where we pick up Okay Yes So are you ready for the introduction this week? I'm ready for the rollercoaster ride Here we go Oh thank you Oh no I forgot to chuck down their name
Starting point is 00:05:04 I apologise Somebody, you know who you are Sent us a tweet rollercoaster ride here we go oh thank you oh no i forgot to chuck down their name i apologize somebody you know who you are um sent us a tweet lower third that's what the writing's called at the bottom of a film oh and it tells you where where you are and what time it is it's the lower third oh yes that's useful to know okay yeah anyway black Yeah. Yeah. There isn't a lower third, so I fade up. Really close-up shot of a book. Like, really close-up. Like, you can see the pages. All you can see is a thick incline and all the detail of the paper.
Starting point is 00:05:36 Okay, yeah. Like, you can see the fibres. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just panning over this writing. It's too close. You can't make out what it's saying. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Just panning over the paper, panning over the paper. And then it hits a four. It's a bullet point, you can tell it's a bullet point. It's a list, this must be a list. And you realise this is definitely a list as it starts panning up and you see a three and a two, but it's a bit blurry so you can't quite make out the writing. But you notice that one, two and three, whatever it is, is crossed out.
Starting point is 00:06:06 And then it starts pulling back a bit and you just see a quill come into focus and it just crosses through point four and then it pans up and there is just the very smug face of james polk and don't fade to black this time it's just going to say james polk in writing, like above James Polk's face. What kind of font? It's like old, scratchy. If you've seen the series Turn, which is all about the Revolutionary War. Very good series. I mean, a bit loose and fast with the historical facts, but so what?
Starting point is 00:06:39 It was fun. Yeah, I enjoyed that. Their lower third writing was all in like scratchy quill writing. So yeah, I'm imagining that for I'm imagining that yeah and then the writing fades and I'll tell you what I'm going to be a bit cheeky here Polk turns to the camera and gives a wink oh don't break the fourth wall
Starting point is 00:06:56 oh yes I'm doing that and then fade to black you might as well get him to say well come along folks and see my story he's going to narrate his own film isn't he yes he is oh what an idiot it was four years ago and the camera followed on the street and he's talking to the camera and he's my neighbor over here sort of documentary style yes yes mockumentary yeah oh that's what punk deserves oh dear actually well i'll let you judge right so are you ready now that we've had our introduction
Starting point is 00:07:34 uh yes yeah so james polk is elected president to a country that is now a full generation beyond the founding fathers people being born now have always known the president including pope himself yeah yeah how is it america is firmly established the us now has around the same population as britain oh wow yeah but the population is booming like seriously booming like big subwoofer booming oh wow yeah yeah just like you walk down the street as a woman just starts dropping for three babies at a time yeah if you lost your wife for example you could just follow the newborn babies until you find her again like a trail of bread oh that's nice that's how often people are having babies wow the bizarre and somewhat hideous as well. Bloopy. Little newborn babies just left.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Sorry, I'm aware I went with that. Just like a bill pullback. Like a rope pull on the road. Oh, no, no. There you are. It's horrible. Yeah, maybe not quite that, but the population was doubling every 20 years. Oh, that's impressive.
Starting point is 00:08:44 Yes, it's a big population boom. And also, obviously, the spread of technology, such as railroads, is helping the vast country to come closer together. And Wi-Fi. And Wi-Fi, yeah. The country now has 26 states, and Florida and Texas were being lined up to be included.
Starting point is 00:09:02 Florida's been a territory for quite some time now. Yeah, and the same with Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico is a territory now of the US. Yes, yeah. And if you followed history, it would be logical that it would become a state at some point, but that kind of slows down, which we'll see. At this stage of American expansion,
Starting point is 00:09:21 new states are regularly being added, but their territories first, they build their population, and then they can apply to be a state. Texas has only just joined as a territory, but they're already populated. They're going to become a state very soon, as we'll see. So when you get a job, you get a 13-week probation period to see if you're, you know, you're going to kill somebody or not. Yeah, up for a job or not. Exactly. That's what's going on here. So that's the country Polk's now in charge of. The first thing he does, this is before he's president, but he finds out that he's won the election.
Starting point is 00:09:52 The first thing he did, well, I say the first thing, he probably did many things before this, but the first big thing he did was go to Jackson's house to discuss his cabinet. As in, like, the thing where you put plates? I didn't think to check. I'm guessing his cabinet. As in, like, the thing where you put plates? I didn't think to check. I'm guessing political cabinet. But maybe he was asking Jackson. Advice on woodwork.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Yeah, possibly. Let's say political cabinet. Okay. Yeah. Because Polk knew one thing. He was not going to attempt to keep a cabinet that did not fully support him. Fair enough.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Just for a show of non-partisanship. He's not going to do that. He's witnessed Jackson try and do that. He's witnessed Jackson try and do that. He's witnessed Tyler try and do that and other presidents. He wants a cabinet that was fully loyal to him. And that makes sense. He can get things done. Yeah, so that was his argument.
Starting point is 00:10:36 He was going to surround himself with Jacksonian Democrats and that was it. Now, yes, he had made some vague promises and hints to the likes of Calhoun and Van Buren during the election. Yeah, if you remember towards the end of the last episode, I said to get the Democrats fully behind him, because he was a surprise nomination, he just made a couple of hints here and there that certain people might be lined up to get certain jobs. But despite these vague promises and hints, it's now time to get serious. So let's start with Calhoun, shall we?
Starting point is 00:11:05 Oh yes. Because Calhoun was a problem. He was the current Secretary of State. If you remember, after the Princeton ship blew up, the old Secretary of State was killed, and Calhoun kind of accidentally got the job. So that's why he's there right now. Calhoun wants to stay being Secretary of State. He's overseeing the annexation of Texas. But unfortunately, he's also bringing along a lot of slavery baggage with him, because he enjoys talking about slavery and how bloody good it is. Isn't slavery great? He'd go around saying all the time. Yeah, well, it kind of just tarnished the whole annexation arguments, because people would say things like, oh, dear. Yeah, well, it kind of just tarnished the whole annexation arguments, because people would say things like, oh dear. Yeah, so Polk wanted Calhoun to go.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, but who to have in? Now, Jackson advised that Polk only choose people who had no desire whatsoever to be president themselves one day. So they'd undermine Polk. Exactly. So that also means no to Van Buren, because he wanted to be president again. So Polk had to convince Calhoun and Van Buren that they weren't really suitable for these jobs.
Starting point is 00:12:12 Calhoun first. Polk met to break the news. So you know when you go and see an animal for the first time, you sort of feed it raw meat or something, just to calm it down. Yes. A few bunny rabbits in the room. Yeah. He sat down, Calhoun opposite him.
Starting point is 00:12:30 I'm thinking about my brand new cabinet, Calhoun. Eyes widened. Yeah. Well, I'd quite like a brand new one, like fresh blood. I'm sure you understand, Calhoun. Here, he said hastily, have a cushy diplomatic post in London. You can go and be the ambassador over there. Enjoy life for a bit. Take in the London nightlife. Calhoun's eyes just narrow and stare. His hands in his pocket and you just hear a faint squeak. And a crack. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Calhoun turned the London position down, but remained calm and politely left. Oh, dear. Door closes. You just hear a massive thud. Polk opens the door, and there's just one of the staff in the White House. Head removed, cleanly off. No explanation.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Yeah, so... But no, Calhoun very calmly takes this news, apparently. So Polk needs to fill in his cabinet now. He fills the positions with people he knew and trusted well, including Cave Johnson as postmaster. Postmaster Cave. And then, in an attempt to smooth over the New York Democrats, in particular Van Buren, who had just also been told no job for you, Polk asked Van Buren who he recommended to be his Secretary of War. Sorry, I can't give you the job, but who would you want to be the War Sec?
Starting point is 00:13:59 Any ideas? Well, Van Buren took a while considering and then sent a letter suggesting a couple of men who he thought would be able to do this job really well. He also included a small note in there just to say, Whatever you do, Polk, do not give the ex-governor of New York, William Marcy, the job of the War Secretary, saying it would, and I quote here, be a fatal mistake in the state. Van Buren, therefore, was outraged to learn shortly afterwards that William Marcy was now the War Secretary. Excellent. Yeah. mistake in the state. Van Buren, therefore, was outraged to learn shortly afterwards that
Starting point is 00:14:25 William Marcy was now the War Secretary. Excellent. Yeah. In Polk's defence, he claims that Van Buren took too long to get back to him, and he knew nothing of the regional split that had left Marcy on Van Buren's blacklist. But this seems unlikely. This does seem like just Polk sticking it
Starting point is 00:14:42 in Van Buren's eye slightly. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I predicted that he'd be like a big supporter of Van Buren. Oh, yes, you did. What was it? He was a Republican. Yeah. He was a big supporter of Van Buren and... Massive moustache.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Was it moustache or sideburns? It could be anything. I can't remember. Big facial hair. Yeah, big facial hair. Right, okay. We're zero for two so far. However, it was actually Polk's Secretary of State appointment that gave him the most trouble.
Starting point is 00:15:10 He selected a man named James Buchanan. We've come across James Buchanan before, I'll put it briefly. He was in the convention which Polk won. Yes. And Polk was doing his dark horse tactics. Yes. There was another man trying to do exactly the same. And yes, I can see you boxed his name so you've remembered.
Starting point is 00:15:28 I did last week. Yes. Last time. He's a man to box. Yeah. Keep an eye on him. For reasons that we'll get into in Buchanan's episode, there were many in the Democrat Party who were really not very keen on him.
Starting point is 00:15:38 So there was plenty of grumblings when he was appointed. Still, Polk's now got his cabinet. One that he would actually use and seek advice from. Still, Polk's now got his cabinet, one that he would actually use and seek advice from. Oh, that's good. Yes. And he would need to, because Polk had plans. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. And perhaps it was in that meeting with Jackson before heading off to Washington, maybe before, we're not sure, but certainly by the time he was sworn into office, Polk let it be known to the people around him in his cabinet that he had four years to achieve his plans. He capitalised plans.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Four plans, in fact. And if he was to achieve them all, he would consider his presidency a success. Beginning of the episode! Shortly before being sworn in, he shared what he called his great measures with his cabinet I'll give them capital letters oh yeah number one
Starting point is 00:16:31 he would lower the tariffs well this would show that he was willing to stick up the south and the west against the money grabbers in the north okay these tariffs are the ones we've come across before where tariffs made it easier for the manufacturing North to make money rather than the slave economy, agricultural itself. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:52 So it benefited the North. The South did not like it. So he was going to lower the tariff and this would help the Southerners. Level the playing field a bit. Yes, exactly. So that's number one. help the southerners level the playing field a bit yes exactly so that's number one number two he would get van buren's idea of an independent treasury back up and running no longer would private banks hold the public funds now if you remember van buren had started down this road
Starting point is 00:17:16 in an attempt to fix the panic of 1837 yes however the wigs shut it down shortly afterwards we gave him some points for attempting this but um yeah it wasn't long before w Whigs shut it down shortly afterwards. We gave them some points for attempting this, but yeah, it wasn't long before Whigs just shut it down. Polk was going to bring it back and make it stick. Good on him. Everyone's around the table going, okay, four years to try and do that. Good luck.
Starting point is 00:17:37 People have been trying to do that for quite some time, but okay, go on. What's number three then? He would get the Oregon territories for the United States. Currently, the northwest of the continent was controlled both by the US and the British. They joint controlled it. Not many people lived over there. No one had really decided where the boundaries were.
Starting point is 00:17:58 So it was just this vague area. He was going to get it for the US. That's what he decided. And with this, the US would fully become a continental country from sea to shining sea number four linked to number three whilst he was at it
Starting point is 00:18:14 he was also going to get California from Mexico after all Texas was about to become a state wouldn't the map just look a lot neater if we had all the land beyond it as well yeah at this point I'd like to think everyone around the table were just looking at each other slightly disbelieving yeah it's like polk in four years wanted to win two major internal political battles that have been going on for a generation pretty much and acquire two huge regions of land
Starting point is 00:18:41 off two separate countries one of which was a superpower. Yeah. In four years. It's good to be ambitious, isn't it? Yes, it is. Have high, set yourself high expectations, lofty goals, the greater the fall. Yeah. I guess. Well, Polk is determined. So off he went.
Starting point is 00:18:57 During his inauguration, he, not needing to worry about votes in the second election, because he'd already said he was only running for one term, so he's set out his plans he didn't need to lie this is what i'm doing yeah any tariffs would only be to aid the government to function not help industry yeah i'll quote here care should be taken not to benefit the wealthy few at the expense of the toiling millions. That's surprisingly socialist. Yes. Well, left. Left-leaning. The Democrats were very much saying,
Starting point is 00:19:31 no, the business owners making huge amounts of monies in this booming industry economy that's going on, they need to share some of that wealth, or at least we should not be being heavily penalised for being an agricultural society down in the South. Yeah. So yeah, he went on to say how wrong it was that luxuries bought by the rich
Starting point is 00:19:50 were being taxed at the lowest rate, but life necessities bought by the poor were being taxed at the highest. It's just not fair. Well, yeah. Yeah. It's quite obviously not fair, so we need to fix this.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Bag of coal, please. That'd be $65. Solid gold table, $1.50. Yeah, it was exactly like that, yeah. He soon showed how he was determined to be his own president and no one's man. Yeah. I mean, there were rumours he was just Jackson's man. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:19 Yeah. Oh, he's definitely not. No. Well, he was trying to get away from this image, because shortly afterwards he chose to ignore a couple of suggestions from Jackson himself. Polk wanted to replace a couple of men in government who were friends of Jackson, part of the old guard. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:33 Jackson wrote to Polk suggesting, perhaps you don't do this, Polk. I know them. They're good men. Leave them in their positions. They won't do you any wrong. Polk went ahead and replaced them anyway. Jackson, upon hearing this news, very grumpily said,
Starting point is 00:20:49 well, I won't beg the president and just let the matter slide. Nice. Although he did later grumble how loathsome it was to see old friends laid aside. Yeah. So, yeah, there's a bit of tension there. But despite this, Polk's first great measure, the relief on the terrace, was definitely underway bit of tension there. But despite this, Polk's first great measure, the relief on the terrace, was definitely underway right at the start.
Starting point is 00:21:07 And, understandably, the Whigs were horrified. This would endanger the growth of the North, lead to shutdowns, job losses, and, bigger picture here, a rise in the power of the South, and therefore of the slave economy, and therefore support slavery as an institution. This was terrifying, horrible and horrific to the wicks.
Starting point is 00:21:30 Oh, and also some incredibly rich business owners would lose out. But that's not why we're outraged. Of course not. Of course not. It's the bigger picture stuff. Yes, it's the people. Yes. A political war was hotting up in Washington, and it could have gone either way. In theory, the Democrats had the votes in the Senate, but there were some defecting to the wicks.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Polk, well-versed on counting votes from his days as a Speaker, realised that his tariff reduction legislation was going to go down to the wire here, perhaps a single vote in it. It was going to be close, and this is the first thing he's doing. He doesn't want a huge embarrassment is the first thing he's doing. He doesn't want a huge embarrassment the first thing he tries to push. No. Polk, therefore, was horrified to learn
Starting point is 00:22:10 that Senator Dickinson was packing up to go home to New York just before the vote. Oh, no. Yeah, so what are you doing? I need every man to vote for this, otherwise we could lose. But it's my holiday. Well, Cave Johnson himself
Starting point is 00:22:23 was sent to the train depot to stop the senator from leaving and bring him back to the White House. Just tackles him down to the ground. Yeah, just one foot on the train and you just see. Like you're in the train looking out and you're seeing Senator Dickinson step in one foot up. And then from the side just whoosh, just gets taken out. Cave spearing him into the ground. Yes. Yes, he wasosh, just gets taken out. Cave, sparing him into the ground. Yes. Yes, he was taken back to the White House.
Starting point is 00:22:49 It doesn't say how roughly. Dragged by an ankle. Yeah. It turned out that Dickinson had just received word that he'd been found $5,000 in debt and his property was about to be seized. Ah. So he needed to get back quickly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:05 Polk fearing that this was actually a move from the Whigs, which it could well have been, just some local Whigs causing some legal trouble for the Democrat senator. Polk fearing this just implored the senator to stay. And I quote here, For the sake of the country. Reluctantly, Dickinson stayed. Amazingly.
Starting point is 00:23:26 Fine. Fine. Fine. Or maybe he stayed in the sense that every time he tried to get on the train, Cave was just there. Just watching. Just holding a bat. Yeah. I also got an image of Dickinson roped to a chair. Yeah. You will stay.
Starting point is 00:23:42 Well, this was not an isolated incident, apparently. Polk had to work round the clock attempting to keep senators from leaving or voting nay. It did not look like this vote was going to get through. Even in the last minute, a senator from Tennessee was going to vote nay. Polk found out. So he put some political pressure to the Tennessee governor. It's easy enough, Polk being from the region.
Starting point is 00:24:07 The governor, in turn, put a little bit of pressure on the state assembly, who, in turn, put a bit of pressure on the senator and convinced him to change his vote at the very last moment with hours to spare. Oh, go on, go on, go on, do it, go on. Just don't do that. Yeah, go on, do it. Go on, go on, go on. You can do it. Go on, go on, go on. Go on. Go on. Go on, go on, go on, do it, go on. Just don't do that. Yeah, go on, do it. Go on, go on, go on.
Starting point is 00:24:25 You can do it. Go on, go on, go on. Go on. Go on. Go on, go on, go on. Go on, go on, go on. The vote came in 27 to 27. Oh.
Starting point is 00:24:40 So therefore it goes to the vice president, who obviously would side with Polk. Yeah. So the eyes had it. skin of his teeth Polk had passed his first test and the first of his great measures was passed yeah although he was not completely happy I mean he's crossed the first one off flourish yeah but as he did it he smiled to himself but a small frown appeared on his face. Because it wasn't an easy victory, was it? It wasn't an easy victory, but also he was really disappointed with Calhoun. Now, Calhoun has built his entire career trying to lower that tariff.
Starting point is 00:25:15 He threatened the use of force to avoid it at one point and to veto it, which almost led to a civil war under Jackson. Nice. Remember the toast off? Yeah. This was what that was all about. Calhoun, therefore, should have been singing Polk's praises. Polk had finally managed to do it, but he wasn't. Polk couldn't explain it any other way than to conclude that the old man was,
Starting point is 00:25:39 and I'll quote here, wholly selfish and has no patriotism. Probably not to his face. Oh, you wouldn't, would you? You just wouldn't, no patriotism. Probably not to his face. Oh, you wouldn't, would you? You just wouldn't, no. Polk was particularly disgusted that Carol Hoon, who could no longer beat the tariff drum, seemed to simply move on to a different issue
Starting point is 00:25:54 just to be outraged and to raise support. What better issue than slavery? Yay! And the North's attempts to abolish it. And again, I'll quote here, no sooner is the tariff reduced than he selected slavery upon which to agitate the country and blindly mounts that topic as if it was a hobby.
Starting point is 00:26:12 However, at least Calhoun was no Whig. Yeah, that's true. He's got a soul at least. Yes, because Polk was very angry with these Whigs, these men who he deemed to be selfishly putting their own interests ahead of the country, and it frustrated him. And he became more and more convinced that the Whigs were simply money-grabbing, greedy opportunists. Polk was really struggling to see them as just
Starting point is 00:26:36 political opponents. Yeah, you'd take it personally, wouldn't you? Yeah, yeah. Writing about a group of Democrats who were openly opposing him on an issue, he wrote in his personal diary, Cameron professes to be a Democrat, but he has his own personal and sinister purposes. I consider him little better than a wig. Westcote, although elected a Democrat, I consider a wig. I consider a wig. And of Calhoun, I forbade to express an opinion further to say than his ambition is destroying him. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Yeah. Harsh words. Let's just say he was not open to bipartisanship at this point. No, I think you could certainly say that, yeah. Yeah. Still, he's got other things to worry about because he's now got a second great measure to look at. Yay, number two, which is independent treasury.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Independent treasury. Banks. Van Buren had struggled with this. Kind of won, but ultimately lost. And Polk had just scraped through the tariff reduction. So therefore, Polk feared that he did not have the votes for an independent treasury. He grumbled that because he had not given cushy jobs to many of the Democrats when he was appointed, they were now punishing him for it.
Starting point is 00:27:50 That's brought on himself. Yeah, he didn't want to carry on with the spoils system. He wanted to rule correctly, but this government is so corrupt, he wasn't able to do anything. Too many opinions. So he sets himself up for a battle. I think montage time for him preparing for this battle. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:11 No, and there's lots of close-ups of people putting on bits of armour. Arming up. Yeah, but he doesn't have armour, so he's just... Putting his clothes on. Yeah, putting his clothes on, lacing up the lacy bits. Yeah. Holding a quill. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Wig, wigging up. He didn't wear a wig. a wig didn't wear a wig oh there was a fashion impact no he did slick back his hair somewhat though oh did he you'll see that later started joining up with his massive impressive beard on moustache oh i'm sure i'm sure so he starts sweeping back his hair nice yeah he's preparing himself for rousing music is starting anyway. Yeah. Bit of Brahms. Yeah. He steps out of his room. He just whispers to the person helping him, So it begins. Ooh. And then nothing happens.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Oh. Yeah. Right. He made an argument that it was irresponsible for the government to hand its money over to private banks. And that argument was simply too obvious for most people to ignore by this point yeah yeah yeah i mean time had passed since the panic of 1837 people had had time to dwell on the causes what van buren had struggled to get through and then lost polk was actually able to push through with relative ease 122 votes to 66 in the house closer in the senate 28 to 25
Starting point is 00:29:24 but still comfortable enough. So there you go. There's now an independent Treasury. Job done. Crosses off number two. Yeah, okay. Doing all right. That is two major internal political battles won.
Starting point is 00:29:36 Nice. And this Treasury, in fact, stays in place until 1913. Oh, wow. Yeah, pretty good. Not bad, yeah? Not bad. So, measure two done. Time to pretty good. Not bad, yeah? Not bad. So, Measure 2 done. Time to move on.
Starting point is 00:29:47 Oregon. Yes. Now all he had to do was increase the land of the United States by an entire third. Taking the land from not one, but two other countries. Our title to the country of Oregon is clear and unquestionable, is what he had said during his inaugural speech. Right. Turned out the British were able to question this. I would disagree, sir. Just one
Starting point is 00:30:12 person in the crowd puts their hands up. Aye, say, old chap. I believe you may be mistaken. That is our land, and by God we'll save it and protect it. Do hate to be a bother, but we will kill you and everyone you know.
Starting point is 00:30:26 We'll slit your throats and watch your family die around you. Tally-ho! Yeah. Robert Peel was the Prime Minister of Britain. Yes, at this time. Peelers. Coppers. Police.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Yeah. He is the leader of the brand new Conservative Party that has just popped up. Yes, the Tories are dead. The Conservatives are now around. What? The party... we'll get into it another time. Robert Peel had heard Polk's words and was cautiously starting to put
Starting point is 00:30:54 plans in motion. Oh dear, we've got another warmonger over there. Oh dear. This could definitely lead to war. Equally, in the United States some in Congress started calling for a war to kick the British out of the whole region. We don't need to negotiate.
Starting point is 00:31:10 Let's just go to war right now. That's very bullshit, isn't it? There's always been a faction like that since the Revolution. Any excuse to go and fight the British. Well, yeah. Can't blame them, to be honest. Now, the argument over the region wasn't brand new. This hasn't sprung up out of nowhere. Yeah. Can't blame them, to be honest. Now, the argument over the region wasn't brand new. This hasn't sprung up out of nowhere.
Starting point is 00:31:26 No. In fact, Tyler had been in the middle of some tense negotiations with the British over the region. For time reasons, I didn't go into it. But just know that at the moment, there was a discussion about the possibility of maybe, well, let's not commit too much, but possibly drawing the border between the us and canada at the 49th parallel maybe so british maybe given a bit of land well britain was saying yes yes definitely definitely or or just just a suggestion here perhaps at the columbia river maybe that's where we could divide the countries possibly maybe just spitballing here. Now, just so you know, in case you don't know,
Starting point is 00:32:07 the 49th parallel is roughly where the border is now. All right, Sandy. And the Columbia River is much further south. Yeah. That's the divide between Washington State and Oregon State. Oh, wow, that is quite... Yeah, so that's the full... It's the whole state down, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:32:24 Yeah, that's the full top layer of states, and that region would have just been belonging to Canada. Seattle would have gone. Yeah. But no Frasier. Well, it would be Canadian Frasier. Eh? Yeah, it would have been just like identical scripts,
Starting point is 00:32:36 but everyone would have wore a Mountie uniform. With loads of Huskies everywhere. Eddie would have been a Husky. Yes, yes, exactly. I mean, the scripts would be the same. He'd still be a radio host and psychiatrist and he'd still be in the the apartment yeah but mounting uniforms yeah nice infinite number of universes yes it's happened in one yeah so anyway that's roughly where the discussions have got to at this point then polk came into power and he started off by reaffirming this idea. No, no, no, 49th parallel sounds pretty good to me.
Starting point is 00:33:07 That works. So Buchanan, Secretary of State, sent word to the British minister in Washington at the time that this was still the United States position. 49th parallel will do us fine. Lord Pickenham, however... Oh, he's British as hell, isn't he? Yes, he is. ...flatly rejected this notion. No! What, isn't he? Yes, he is. Flatly rejected this
Starting point is 00:33:25 notion. No! What, what, what? Columbia River or nothing! By Joe Wilhelmich! Polk, angered by this, told Buchanan to go back to Peckham and essentially say, fine, in that case we're demanding even more northern
Starting point is 00:33:41 border. Ooh. Even more northern border? Yes, that makes sense. A more northerly border. Oh. Even more northern border? Yes, that makes sense. A more northerly border. A more northerly border. That's a better way of saying it, yes. Buchanan wasn't happy about this and pointed out to Polk that this could lead to war, sir.
Starting point is 00:33:57 You're playing that bluff, sir. Yeah, and what with things with Mexico at the moment, is this really the time to be poking Britain? Do we really want two wars on two different fronts at the same time? There's a word for that. Surrounded. Yes. And one of them's Britain. And I know we keep telling ourselves we won the War of 1812, but we didn't. So, maybe we shouldn't do this.
Starting point is 00:34:25 Still, after a couple of arguments, Buchanan notified Peckingham that the offer of the 49th parallel was off the table. Ooh. Yes. Meanwhile, things were definitely not going well with Mexico. Oh dear. We're not going to cover the US-Mexico war in detail today. Oh, there's a war.
Starting point is 00:34:41 But that kind of gives you a hint on how well it goes. It goes a bit downhill. Yes. We're going to have a lot more time to discuss that in our next episode. Today, I'm going to give you the big picture of the war, and we'll see a bit more detail in our next President's episode. Things were tense between the two countries. Mexico were not happy at all that Texas had revolted and then ran off to join the Union. Oh, a jilted lover. Exactly. In Mexico's eyes, Texas still belonged to them. What do you mean you're now part of the United States? You're still part of us.
Starting point is 00:35:13 Polk's cabinet, already nervous that things were Britain, were going a bit south. Well, yeah. Suggested to the president that perhaps it would be safer if they had an army in the region near Mexico just in case. You know, I mean, we're not going to, like, go to war, but just in case, should we put some of our men just in Texas near our new border? It's amazing how back then, during this time, when there's all these big empires all, you know, elbowing each other,
Starting point is 00:35:38 they'd always send massive armies, build massive armies for defensive purposes. Of course, yes. Right before a massive war. Just in case. Yeah. Well, it was decided that General Taylor go to Texas. Make a note of his name. Do I box it? Oh yeah, box him. Polk didn't much like Taylor. The man was a wig. Oh, yeah, I know. And clearly, therefore, could not be trusted. But still, he did appear to be the best man for the job, unfortunately. So Taylor was sent off. Meanwhile, reports came from Mexico City. The Mexican president Herrera, pronouncing that terribly, I'm sure. That's my English attempt at saying Herrera. That's what I'll go with as well.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Anyway, he was in trouble. It looked like a military coup might may well take place. People in Mexico were not happy with the United States, understandably. And the Mexican president did not seem to be doing enough about it. Of course, if there's a military coup in Mexico, whoever takes over, I mean, what will their thoughts be? Are they going to be more pro-war? Probably. Yeah. So does that mean there's a war coming? And these were the things that Polk and his cabinet were starting to discuss.
Starting point is 00:36:45 However, then some good news came through. Word from London was that Britain did not actually want to waste men and money at this particular moment in time. It looks like the British were thinking, maybe, maybe negotiations will do. In fact, they got word that Pakenham was too hasty rejecting the 49th parallel offer. Let's put some brakes on this. Let's get together and negotiate. Nice.
Starting point is 00:37:09 Not only that, but then more news from Mexico. Herrera was willing to talk things over with a diplomat. Ooh. Yeah. Polk very quickly went from looking like he was going to face two simultaneous wars at the same time. That's why they're simultaneous. Yes. Tautology there. And all of a sudden it looked like he might be able to diplomatically get round both of these.
Starting point is 00:37:31 Only through luck though, nothing to do with him. Well, however, the good mood in regard to Mexico did not last. When a man named Sledell was sent down with an offer of $25 million for California. By the time he got there, politics had shifted somewhat, and Sledell was treated rudely, shall we say. He wasn't even given an audience with the president. Oh. Yeah, he was just ignored. Oh. Given a really bad hotel room.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Oh, like one where you have to share the bathroom. Yeah. The communal bathroom sort of thing. Oh, that's hell. Not good. And you've got to pay the day for Wi-Fi communal bathroom sort of thing. Oh, that's hell. Not good. And you've got to pay the day for Wi-Fi. Like $10 a day. It's not good Wi-Fi.
Starting point is 00:38:09 You can't even stream on it. In fact, you might as well just stay on your network. Yeah. Yeah, it's just awful. No air con. Just a fan that one of the blades is missing. Sealing fan. So when you turn it on, it wobbles so much.
Starting point is 00:38:23 You are genuinely scared it's going to come off and land on your head so you turn it off it's not pleasant and the fridge is not plugged in that sounds horrible it was awful poor guy he was not happy sitting there about 25 million dollars burning a hole in his pocket although i mean you can kind of understand why they weren't too happy with the idea of uh 25 million for california's quite a lot. It is a lot. Would have been more back then. At the same time, Mexico is saying, how dare you have stolen Texas office?
Starting point is 00:38:50 And the diplomat turns up and says, can we buy some more land off you? We're not estate agents. Bugger off. Well, shortly after this, the predicted coup did indeed take place. Now Mexico was ruled by a new president who was far more hostile to the US. To many, the war seemed inevitable.
Starting point is 00:39:11 Yes. But it's not the only thing going on. So back to Britain and Oregon. Buchanan met with Polk and warned him that the mood in Congress was that it would be folly to push for anything above the 49th parallel. We are lucky Britain's come back to the table. Let's just settle with the 49th parallel where we were saying before,
Starting point is 00:39:29 before you had your bit of a tantrum. Pushing Britain to war would be seen as warmongering. You have no support for this. Polk was not happy at all and said back, your channels of information are very different to mine. Not one in ten of the members
Starting point is 00:39:45 opposed taking as much land as possible. So he's saying, everyone I talk to wants to just take as much as possible. In fact, the 54th parallel was being talked about. Sir, talking to Harry the Gardener is not advice, sir.
Starting point is 00:40:01 He is a fool. Well, there certainly was a faction of the party whose slogan had become the 54th or Fight. Oh. Yeah. Gosh. 54th parallel, you're deep into Canada there. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:14 You'd be fighting off polar bears at that point. Well, again, tensions rose. Prime Minister Peel started preparing for war once more. But then the British Foreign Minister opened a line of communication. Seriously, what about the 49th? We seem to be dancing around this quite a bit. We keep saying further south, you keep saying further north. Everyone keeps mentioning the 49th.
Starting point is 00:40:35 Shall we just stick with the 49th? We are now willing to take the 49th. Are you? Cards on the table. Yeah. Polk a face. Polk turned to his cabinet. Should we accept this compromise
Starting point is 00:40:46 all were in favor apart from buchanan who had been arguing for this for quite some time yeah after spending a long time convincing the president to settle on the 49th he suddenly changed his mind at the last minute 54th yes and threw himself behind the 54th or fight faction what yeah that was probably Polk's reaction. Because he suspected this is just Buchanan trying to line himself up for a run for the top job in the future. Oh, he's trying to make it awkward. Yeah, trying to make things awkward. Trying to make a name for himself.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Trying to play the factions. Playing politics, basically. So Polk was furious at Buchanan. Yeah. For doing this instead of just helping run the country. He turned to Buchanan and said, Do you wish to make an issue with me? Fight and talk.
Starting point is 00:41:30 Yeah. Buchanan backed down slightly at this point, realising that a public split at this time might actually damage his reputation. So he backs down after a meeting between the two men that Polk described as, and I quote, a most unpleasant interview. And then Buchanan went home for a bit. Left Washington.
Starting point is 00:41:50 He probably needed it, to be honest. Yes, have a break. Okay. So the compromise was indeed put to the Senate, and it won 32 to 12. That's good. The Northwest, so current Washington State, Oregon, parts of Idaho and Wyoming, now belong to the United States. Great measure number three, done.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Cross that one off. So now all he needs is California from Mexico. Ah, yes. Unfortunately, despite the success in regards to his great measures, things were not actually going all that well for Polk. I mean, you've got a list of four things. You've got three of them down. It's looking great if you just look at the list.
Starting point is 00:42:31 Let's pull out the curtain, shall we? His falling out with Buchanan was highlighted one day when Buchanan, in a cabinet meeting, presented a diplomatic letter for Polk to sign. Polk read it over very carefully and pointed out, in front of everyone, that Buchanan had not conformed to the diplomatic usage in the letter. So you've made a mistake.
Starting point is 00:42:51 Buchanan, flustered, claimed that he had not. This is how it's done. Afraid to say this, sir, but you've got this wrong. Polk then bet Buchanan a basket of champagne over who was right. Oh, that's not a good bet. Buchanan accepted, pulled out a large, leather-bound book that he claimed
Starting point is 00:43:10 showed precedent for the letter that he had written. However, as the minutes ticked on by as Buchanan was furiously flicking through this book, it became clear to everyone that Polk was indeed right. Buchanan couldn't find this. Oh dear. Yeah, it's
Starting point is 00:43:25 bad enough you've got a folder that you're carrying around just to prove your point, but when you can't find what you're looking for in your folder, it's just embarrassing. Yeah, Buchanan was humiliated once more by the president. Polk refused the champagne, even though he'd won the bet, stating
Starting point is 00:43:41 it was all a joke, but later on in his diary, it reflects his inner thoughts. I record this incident for the purpose of showing how necessary it is for me to give my vigilant attention, even to the form and details of my subordinate duties. Yeah. So, yeah. He's starting to micromanage.
Starting point is 00:44:00 That's never a good thing to do. It's not necessarily when you're trying to run a country. Oh, no. Yeah. And now, article 4822, the small shop in Wisconsin. We are running low on crisps. Let me put an order through. Sorry, chips. It's America.
Starting point is 00:44:20 Oh, gosh, yes. Yes, I apologise. Yeah, this diary that I've now mentioned a couple of times, it was kept by Polk throughout most of his presidency. And it shows a man who worked hard, perhaps too hard, and also had very little humour. Oh dear. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:38 This was also being reflected in the White House as entertainments in the presidential mansion were no longer known for their cheer and flair. Sam Houston declared that Polk's main trouble was that he drank too much water. This being the second water put down by Houston
Starting point is 00:44:56 in two episodes. If you remember, Houston claimed that Tyler the only thing he was addicted to was water. Oh. Yeah. It's a bit weird watching it? Leads me to think that Houston was constantly putting people down by referencing water wherever he went. Anyway, so to put it
Starting point is 00:45:11 bluntly, things, they're not going smoothly in Washington. Not as smoothly as I might have made it seem by going through these great measures. No. Yeah. Meanwhile, things were definitely deteriorating in Mexico. The war was looking more and more likely. Buchanan, in yet another cabinet meeting, asked to advise Britain and France
Starting point is 00:45:28 that the United States had no intention of seizing California if a war broke out. Right. Polk was not happy with this. That was kind of the point. Yes. Buchanan responded that Britain and France may use force to see the United States' power
Starting point is 00:45:43 kept in check. Polk replied, Before I would make a pledge like that, I would meet war with England, France, and all the powers in Christendom. He's mental, isn't he? I will stand and fight the last man. He's...
Starting point is 00:45:58 He's... He's gone off the firing, I think. He's got three of his things done. He's not giving up now. But he seems so bullshit. Bruh. He's g off the fire end, I think. He's got three of his things done. He's not giving up now. But he seems so bolshie. He's gung-ho. I had no idea. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:10 He seems quite placid. The first episode did not give this sense, did it? No, not at all. No, it really didn't. It's a bit of a drip, to be honest. Yeah, it is slightly odd, isn't it? Anyway, there were many, as there always is, who shared Polk's views in this. Let's go and take California.
Starting point is 00:46:26 Texas was full of American immigrants who had fought in the Texan Revolution. And many had heard stories or even knew personally people who had suffered in that war. People quite literally remembered the Alamo. Yes, which had happened not long before in the Revolution. A 13-day siege where people were treated quite poorly by the Mexican side. But despite there being this faction, pro-war faction, it certainly was not a universally popular idea in the country that they go to war just to seize some land.
Starting point is 00:46:58 People started talking about this being a war of aggression, a land grab against a neighbour who was little able to defend itself. Now, to begin with, the anti-war feeling mainly came from Massachusetts Whigs, who feared that this would turn into an explosion of new slave states that would in turn dominate the Union. Right, yeah. However, as we'll see, the anti-war feeling certainly grows beyond this. Anyway, in 1846, the spark that everyone was waiting for finally happens.
Starting point is 00:47:25 As we have seen, Polk had sent Taylor into Texas as a precaution, just in case. Taylor was actually in disputed territory, because when Sam Houston had won the Texan Revolution, probably shouting at the Mexicans about how wet they were finally is. Yeah. Moist! He was shouting words like that. Damp!
Starting point is 00:47:45 Yes. Soggy! Well, the defeated Mexican general accepted that the border between Mexico and Texas was the Rio Grande. However, when the Mexican Congress heard of this, they rejected it straight away and claimed that the border was actually on the Nueces.
Starting point is 00:48:02 I'm probably not pronouncing that correctly. But yeah, everyone can correct my pronunciation on that. But yes, this is a river much further north. Yeah. So in between these two rivers, you've got this disputed territory. And then in April of 46, things came to a head. A group of Mexican soldiers ambushed a United States scouting troop. This happened north of the Rio Grande, so in the disputed land. Taylor followed the orders he'd been given. He took this as an act of war
Starting point is 00:48:30 and crossed the river to the south of him and attacked the Mexicans, coming out on top. Polk heard the news a couple of weeks later and had all he needed. The Mexicans had attacked American troops on American soil. This could not be
Starting point is 00:48:45 tolerated. Certainly not. This meant war. Congress declared for war four days later, although not all were impressed by this argument. Some in Congress pointed out that it was US land in the same way that Mexico believed it was Mexico land. And this was a skirmish involving scouts. It was hardly the same as a full-on invasion. We can dial back from this. This doesn't mean war if we don't want it to. But the momentum was definitely with Polk. News soon came through of several victories that Taylor had won. In fact, he now held the Mexican city of Monterrey.
Starting point is 00:49:18 Polk sent word for Taylor to remain where he was. You've done enough for now. We've made a start. Wonderful. Polk, therefore, was torn when he received the next dispatch. Taylor had, against orders, engaged the Mexicans in an incredibly risky battle, outnumbered four to one. And he won. Taylor soon became the nation's next war hero, but Polk was not happy in the slightest. The man was an open wig, nonetheless.
Starting point is 00:49:41 but Polk was not happy in the slightest. The man was an open Whig, nonetheless. And it would not surprise Polk if he had presidential ambitions. I'm sure he doesn't. No. He was politically forced to promote Taylor to Major General, but in his diary he raged that Taylor had disobeyed orders. Polk privately praised the officers under the command of Taylor, but stated that the Whig General had, and I quote,
Starting point is 00:50:05 none of the qualities of a great general. So looking to find a fault, Polk then openly criticized Taylor's organizational skills. His supply chain was weak and could have been better prepared. He should have used mules instead of wagon trains. Another general in Washington agreed with Polk, and Polk wrote in his diary that night, General Taylor was not the man for the command of the army. However, Polk had a problem. Taylor was now incredibly popular, and he had no one to replace him with. Sort of.
Starting point is 00:50:34 The only other commander at the time, the US's top-ranking general, was a man named General Scott. Unfortunately, he was also a Whig. Oh, yeah. And he also seemed to have political aspirations. Polk became increasingly frustrated that his armies were being led by two Whig generals. Scott hadn't been involved in the start of the war because he'd been falling out with the executive branch beforehand, and Polk had taken away his field command, like you would a naughty child.
Starting point is 00:51:02 Yes, no field command, like you would a naughty child. Yes. No field command for you. Oh, but I want to kill Mexicans. However, as the war started and Scott was just hanging around Washington, just pointing out that this is ridiculous. He's the highest ranking general in the country. Yeah, it did become clear that perhaps they should use their most experienced man. Yeah. We're now at war. Scott had written to the war secretary with a plan that would end the war quickly.
Starting point is 00:51:28 He would take troops, sail out of New Orleans, land near the Mexican capital, and take it. Okay. Simple. See, it's one, two, three, sir. Yes, it's just all the best plans are those simple ones. Yeah, just go there and take it over. What do you want, sir? Imagine him walking into the war room.
Starting point is 00:51:47 I've got a plan. I suggest we win the war. I call it my one-step plan. Just a big parchment, picture of Mexico City with an arrow. This is where we go. This is where we win, sir. Any questions? A few hands up.
Starting point is 00:52:03 No? Brilliant. I'll be back in time for tea. We'll be having nachos in Mexico by next week. Well, most of the cabinet were definitely in favour of the plan. Yeah. Sounds wonderful. Very positive.
Starting point is 00:52:17 Well done, sir. Happy and thinking of going up to Canada and all sorts. This is far better. Cave Johnson, however, less impressed. Sharing sentiments with his friend, the president, he stated that only a strong sense of duty would induce him to play Scott, of all people, at the head of such an important job. However, the plan was indeed approved,
Starting point is 00:52:38 and over the next six months, Scott sailing to the coast. He headed towards Mexico City City and he took it. Oh. Yeah. It's a very good plan, then. Don't mock the plan. The plan works. Yeah. Yes. Obviously there is more detail there and we'll cover that in a bit more detail next week.
Starting point is 00:52:58 But yes, it's in September of 1846 Mexico City is taken. Oh, okay. The war over the disputed territory in Texas was as good as over. But this was not the only fighting going on, because obviously California's there, and that's kind of the real aim of this war.
Starting point is 00:53:15 Yeah, that's the rind of the US, isn't it? Nice way to describe it. Yeah. General Sloat had attacked from sea. He sort of sailed all the way around. Wow. Yeah, and attacked from sea. Now sort of sailed all the way around. Wow. Yeah, and attacked from sea. Now, this area was little populated.
Starting point is 00:53:29 The biggest danger was the fact that there were British warships in the area. If Britain decided, no, we don't like this, there could be a problem. But it looked like Britain were willing to sit this one out. And before long, there were United States flags flying in San Francisco. But despite the war-looking orbit over, the national mood was definitely souring. The Congress elections had just taken place and the Democrats had not done too well. Many had campaigned attacking Polk for misleading the public about the cause of the war. John Quincy Adams led the call for the end of the hostilities.
Starting point is 00:54:01 After all, 13,000 US men had just died. Ooh, how many? 13,000. men had just died. Ooh, how many? 13,000. That's a lot. Yeah, and for what? A single man's dream of enlarging an empire? This war is a land grab, it's unjustifiable. Why did we start this war? Fair questions. We're the United States, we're not Britain. We don't go around conquering land on a whim.
Starting point is 00:54:24 More and more people were starting to agree with this kind of view and the likes of John Quincy Adams, including the young Abraham Lincoln, who had little good to say about Polk. He's in Congress by this point. Abe Lincoln. Yeah, you might want to box him. Oh, to become president?
Starting point is 00:54:40 Yeah, no, he does. Okay. Yeah, got a few today. Anyway, Polk was probably relieved therefore when John Quincy Adams suddenly died on the floor of the house. Ooh, that's a bullet dodge, isn't it? No GB Canada, eh? He kind of just glaring at him. Too soon?
Starting point is 00:54:58 We're standing over the body, sir. It's still twitching, sir. I believe there's even still a pulse. John Quincy had just proclaimed of a loud no at the prospect of giving praise and decorations to several generals in the war, when he suffered a stroke and died, as we saw in his episode. But it goes to show how much he did post being president. He got a lot of stuff done. He was vocal.
Starting point is 00:55:22 He was, yeah. But still, things aren't going great for Polk here, because this was actually a month after the House had voted 82 to 81 that the conflict with Mexico was, and I quote here, a war unnecessarily and unconstitutionally begun by the President of the United States. Arguments for Polk's war were also strong, however. Many claimed that they had to invade to stop the Mexicans invading.
Starting point is 00:55:49 A pre-emptive strike, they argued, was perfectly justified. And the evidence of them invading us is... Shh! One of them looked at me funny. Yeah. He said something in a weird language. I couldn't quite understand it,
Starting point is 00:56:05 but it felt very much like he wanted to invade. It's definitely a threat, I could tell. Yeah. Turn of voice. Yeah. Especially when he's offering me that traitor food. Yeah, the old pre-emptive strike excuse goes back a while. It's not just a modern thing.
Starting point is 00:56:20 Lincoln, at this point, wrote, Allow the president to invade a neighbouring nation whenever he deem it necessary to repel an invasion, Lincoln, at this point, wrote, Yeah, he's becoming a dictator. Yes, definitely a dictator. Massive dictator. Yeah, so people not happy. Now, while the debates of the morality of this war raged on, the debates over the spoils also began. Obviously, this war is utterly reprehensible,
Starting point is 00:56:53 but whilst we're talking about it... Yeah, well, some saw this total victory against Mexico as a sign. Let's just take it. Like, all of Mexico. Let's just... We've won. Let's just take it. Like, all of Mexico. Let's just, we've won. Let's take Mexico. One senator loudly claimed that it would be just, in fact, to take all of Mexico to use its natural resources to bring the nation under the happy influence
Starting point is 00:57:18 of American civil and religious liberties. Oh, dear. Yeah. Oh, dear. That's dangerous talking it really is we could give them railroads and they'll be so happy oh yeah um fortunately not everyone was like that buchanan however the treasury secretary and the vice president all started to voice opinions that kind of coincided with this let's just take Mexico opinion.
Starting point is 00:57:46 However, Polk maintained his course. He had a list. He had a list. It didn't say take Mexico on the list. It said get California. Yeah. So he asked Congress for $2 million to use as a good faith down payment when the Mexican government came to the negotiation table.
Starting point is 00:58:02 That's good politics in a way, isn't it? So we beat you. we could just take it, but we're going to, you know, to stop any further atrocities of us invading you again happening. Well, Polk was expecting this to be an easy win. Although the public was definitely turning against the war, those in Congress were either behind the president, the Democrats, or the Whigs were behind the commanders of the war.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Oh, yeah, win-win. behind the commanders of the war. Oh, yeah. They didn't like the war, but they weren't going to stop Taylor and Scott from getting funds. Yeah. So, so far, Polk had found it fairly easy to raise money for the war. That's a really good point. He was furious, therefore, to learn that a representative had added an amendment that stated that funds would be approved, however, only if no slavery or involuntary servitude would exist in the area purchased from Mexico. Oh.
Starting point is 00:58:55 Polk declared this as mischievous and foolish and said, So damn moral. What connection slavery had with making peace with Mexico is difficult to conceive. Which it's really not. No, it's not. It's really not difficult to conceive. The amendment was, in fact, defeated easily enough, but Polk figured that Wilmot, the man who had introduced it, would simply try again.
Starting point is 00:59:20 So he decided to talk to Wilmot, stating that he was more than happy for California and New Mexico provinces to be free. In fact, he claimed it was unlikely that the question of introducing slavery would even ever come up. Why would anyone want slavery in these new states? He also pointed out, quite reasonably, that if this amendment was introduced, none of the slave states would vote for the bill, and the war would not end. Everything would be for nothing. Wilmot, kind of realising the point here, agreed not to try again, but he did say if someone else introduces it, he would vote for it. And sure enough, someone did. So Congress just battled back and forth for a while.
Starting point is 01:00:01 After a lot of internal wrangling, however, followed by negotiations with Mexico, eventually it was decided. The US would indeed gain California and the New Mexico provinces. And also, the disputed land in Texas was now definitely part of the United States, and Mexico would get $15 million. Oh, really should have gone for that $25. Yeah. Polk pulled out his notebook,
Starting point is 01:00:35 looked down, crossed out number four. Achieved. But this one had cost him. He was now seen by many as an imperialist warmonger. Yeah. Yeah. Still, having achieved everything he set out to do, he stayed true to his word and he stepped down after four years. He was not happy when General Taylor, however, won the election for the Whigs. But he was ready to leave office. The four years of workaholic micromanagement tendencies had taken their toll on him, however, and when he finally left Washington, it took over a month to travel back, while he toured the South attempting to ignore his ill health. When on the Mississippi, in fact, several people on his steamboat suddenly died of cholera. Polk sought the doctor fearing the worst. He wasn't feeling great. He went to see the doctor and sure
Starting point is 01:01:17 enough he was absolutely fine. Oh yeah, no cholera. He was very relieved. He didn't feel great but no cholera apparently. was very relieved. He didn't feel great, but no cholera, apparently. So he continued. He eventually arrived home and then died. Oh. Yeah. Pretty much immediately as soon as he got back. Key in the door, open the door, foot in, fall.
Starting point is 01:01:39 Not even a foot in, just straight as a plank, just fell through the door, face first. Oh, death. And there you go. And that is James Polk. I mean, we only covered four years in today's episode. A lot happened. A lot happened.
Starting point is 01:01:58 And then he just dies immediately. It's almost as if the job killed him off. Any thoughts before we rank him? Far more interesting than I was expecting. You can certainly see why he wouldn't be looked fondly upon. Yeah, there's things to discuss, shall we say. So it's a good job we now get to discuss him.
Starting point is 01:02:16 Let's do it. Now, before we start, I must say by the end of last week, I did not think he was going to score highly. No. I do think he may have pulled things around a little bit here. I think so. Yeah, because, well, let's have a look at his good for his statesmanship. He was a career politician all his life.
Starting point is 01:02:34 As soon as they chopped the stones out of him, he got an education, and then he started in politics. So he knew how to be a politician. Yeah. He obviously then rose through the party, becoming Speaker, nonetheless, which was very impressive. Speaker of the House. Yeah, which usually that's the height of your career, but... House of Representatives.
Starting point is 01:02:54 Yeah. So what Pelosi is now. Yes. So after reaching the pinnacle of that branch of government, he then stepped back and then stepped into a different branch of government and then got to the top of that one as well uh i mean that is impressive quite achiever yeah and let's not forget he was the dark horse in the nomination that's impressive he came from nowhere he was trying to be vice president that's what he was trying to do and he wasn't doing that great a job of it and then he suddenly just swerved in right at the end he sort of in a way he didn't draw attention to himself yeah so i become a speaker and everything else he wasn't
Starting point is 01:03:30 too outlandish with anything he just sort of in the background person then oh surprise then yes but i mean maybe it's just the way things have been recorded possibly it's hard to get a sense of what he was like true as a person i guess his early life perhaps he was always making those lists and that's why he always managed to achieve quite a bit he was there methodically just working away at things that's true well i would explain why he's so successful yeah of course yeah a bit of a oh what you call them overachiever yeah we'll go with that. I was trying to think of something else. It's not what you meant at all, though, is it?
Starting point is 01:04:08 No, but it's a similar thing. My word grammatically fits, so therefore let's stick with that one. Right, okay. And then obviously he becomes president, where he outlined four major aims that he was going to achieve in four years, and then he would definitely step down. And then he achieved them all. The independent treasury and the purchasing of Oregon
Starting point is 01:04:30 after tough negotiations was impressive. That is some good political maneuvering. Yeah, only just, but it was enough. He achieved it. He did it, and they were both good, solid pieces of work that he should be praised for. The lowering of the tariffs certainly pleased a lot of people. They also upset a lot of people.
Starting point is 01:04:51 That one's a bit more divisive. But he was always honest about what he wanted to do with that. He went for it, whether you disagreed with it or not. It was some good statesmanship there. A very honest politician. Yeah, exactly. So that was also impressive. And he expanded the US by an entire third.
Starting point is 01:05:08 The continental United States is now set up by a couple of boundary changes, like just neatening of a couple of little bits. But what you now imagine as the US, the mainland, is now there. All we need now is Alaska and Hawaii. So that's impressive. In fact, that's all
Starting point is 01:05:25 very good. I'm very impressed. But there are some bad. Let's face it, that war with Mexico was not great. It's very hard to justify that the United States needed to start a war to gain California. Mexico at the time posed no threat whatsoever. I think as well
Starting point is 01:05:42 it's an easy target. Exactly. I mean, Mexico had failed to stop Texas from revolting not long before. Texas and the United States together, well there's no way Mexico were going to be able to stand up for them. They weren't a threat. It was a land grab. It was expansion. Yeah. And you just can't really justify it. It's ego-driven? Yes, I'd say so. It did seem to be something he wanted to do, so he was going to do it. At least the attempted land grab in the War of 1812,
Starting point is 01:06:12 which arguably was the United States going, oh, Britain's quite busy here, I think we can get some of Canada, at least that had the excuse that, actually, they needed to take parts of Canada to stop the encroachment of a very powerful enemy who were also doing quite a lot of bad things to the united states yeah and also aiding the native american tribes who were raiding united states lands you can argue that the war of 1812
Starting point is 01:06:38 started as a land grab but you can also justify it as well it's debatable that one yeah yeah this one seems a lot less debatable. Yeah. Polk managed to dodge the issue of slavery a lot as a politician. Didn't really come up as the president at all. Avoiding the likes of Calhoun and John Quincy Adams, who wanted to talk about slavery all the time. Admittedly, different viewpoints on slavery.
Starting point is 01:07:02 But they wanted it to be discussed. Polk just didn't want it to be discussed. I should think of that. Yeah. In fact, as Speaker, remember the gag rule came into effect under him. And we can't place sole blame on him. It wasn't him who introduced it. But he was the Speaker and he facilitated it.
Starting point is 01:07:20 The gag rule is an awful thing. I mean, it's so obviously unconstitutional and completely immoral. It's not great. So there was that as well. So a lot of really good, but also some quite significant negatives.
Starting point is 01:07:38 He formed the basic modern USA in a way, into his outlay. Yeah, yeah. His geography. Point at a a map he's done some significant things definitely he obviously was very good at his job because he got as far as he did being such a high achiever so you can't well you can but it's very tricky to get there if you're bad at stuff yeah he's obviously a hard worker i mean we say micromanaging is not necessarily a good thing but no it worked in this case not only did he do all this but that's shop you mentioned while stocked yes yeah exactly never enough chips no
Starting point is 01:08:10 so i don't know what your thoughts see the big cloud that hangs over it is the war with mexico it wasn't needed it wasn't great was it but the outcome of that is we now have the shape of the modern usa i suppose you could say polk didn't um get on board with the idea of taking all of mexico that's true yeah i suppose you could and he offered the money as well to make he still gave he could have just said in california he gave them he still bought it off them yeah and he did offer to begin with before the war started and mexico technically fired the first yeah it's dodgy though it really was and you could argue taylor that started it as well not really as we're as we're seeing his episode i want even a six i want even above average i think i've got to go higher his goods were very very good but i can't go into the eights or the nines because of the war.
Starting point is 01:09:05 I think I'm going for seven. It's a shame because a politician who says, I'm going to do these four things, who in four years just goes and does them. You don't get that. You've got to admire him for that. He's really good. But one of those things was an unjust war. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:22 If he said, I'm going to punch this puppy in the face, I wouldn't be going, well, at least he did it. He achieved his goal. You've got to have a man who says when he punches the puppy in the face, he punches that puppy right in the face. Morally, you're going to object, surely. So that's why I'm definitely knocking some marks off. Yeah, I'm going for seven.
Starting point is 01:09:41 You stick him six. Thirteen. Thirteen. Well, really not much. I mean... He punched that puppy you just said. Apart from that. Obviously, we have slavery still.
Starting point is 01:09:56 Not for too much longer, though, thankfully. Yeah, but... We still do have slavery. And yes, he did own slaves most of his adult life. He was still buying men, women, and children whilst president. We still do have slavery. And yes, he did own slaves most of his adult life. He was still buying men, women, and children whilst president. He very much falls into the slavery is evil, but I'm not actually going to do anything about it category of presidents.
Starting point is 01:10:17 Maintained the status quo. Yeah, good phrase. That's what he did. But apart from that, he's pretty much a blank slate. I mean, you've got that diary that he comes across as a bit of an arse occasionally. I mean, he wasn't widely well-regarded. He was described as several things, including inflexible, puritanical, colourless, plodding, narrow, chilly, humorless, stiff, formal. And by one historian, lovable or even likeable,
Starting point is 01:10:51 he was not. But I'm not sure you can really get disgrace gate points for just being a bit of a... An aloof personality. Yeah. A bit cold. Yeah. So... War, the war, war grabbing land that's a statement
Starting point is 01:11:08 that's not personal that's how we decide oh yes i keep forgetting yeah you're telling me that every single week yeah so his personal things um he he personally had no problem owning and buying people um i mean as slavery is one of the worst things you can do next to murder, then it's like technically 10. I think we've kind of settled bizarrely. I don't know how it's happened. Because he was born into it and he didn't do anything to try and make it better,
Starting point is 01:11:39 but he didn't do anything to make it worse. He's off the time. He is off the time. We generally have been giving around three or four for this keeping the status quo for slavery and then adding other stuff on top so i think subtracting it yeah maybe we should stick around there subtract three then yeah i'll go for the same so minus six yep minus makes seven. Okay, on to the next round. Silver screen.
Starting point is 01:12:08 I'll be honest, my introductions, silver screen introductions almost, for the episodes, I've struggled to come up with for Polk. There are no major big events that you... I mean, the start of today's episode was just looking at a piece of paper. That's nice.
Starting point is 01:12:23 Yeah. A guy crossing out things off his list. Yeah. It's like someone's just been shopping, isn't it? Yes. Carrots got. Let's quickly recap here. He was born sickly.
Starting point is 01:12:35 His trip to Tennessee, he almost died. He had his urinary stones. Someone gouged at his nether region. Yeah. But then, I mean mean that's quite a good start but then it just plods along for quite a while school university lawyer state senate he met someone got married to them it's the kind of thing where if it was a show you'd skip all this yeah you see him just as an adult entering congress the first time or something yeah congress speaker governor dark horse candidate you can get some bits out of that good that was the start of the last episode as an adult entering congress the first time or something yeah congress speaker governor dark horse candidate you can get some bits out of that good that was the start of the last episode yeah
Starting point is 01:13:09 looking at the chandelier yeah yeah so um it starts to pick up a bit there i think that's where you do it though you start from there yeah you'd have to definitely you'd reference his early life and that's what we need to do yeah maybe occasionally he you just a shot of him waking up in the middle of the night screaming you're, flashbacks to the operation. He can't stand rum. Yeah. Or brandy. Never explained until the very last episode.
Starting point is 01:13:32 Yes. But then he becomes president, and then you could possibly build something around the four great measures, which is pretty much what I did for this episode. And then you've got stuff with the Mexican War, but he's the president in a war that he certainly wasn't personally involved in. I mean, you've got the next president, Taylor,
Starting point is 01:13:52 for looking into the war in a bit more exciting detail. He suddenly died, though, on his doorstep. Yeah. It wasn't quite that. He was back a few weeks, but it wasn't long after he got home, he suddenly dies. But it's not making a great film in my mind.
Starting point is 01:14:09 I think, yeah, it's the only thing. You could do it well, but you'd have to elaborate. You'd have to maybe do what most historical things do and to change things a bit. But, yeah, it doesn't stand out as something amazing. I'd argue this is actually the worst for silver screen so far. Yeah, one. I'm going to go for two.
Starting point is 01:14:28 Why? One for his operation, one for him winning the nomination. Fair enough. You could possibly, if it was a miniseries, you could probably make two whole episodes out of those two events. Oh, yeah. But the rest would be boring. Fair enough.
Starting point is 01:14:43 Yeah, two. So that is only three. Sorry, Fair enough. Yeah, two. So that is only three. Sorry, Polk. Oh, dear. You should have been an old, lechy man like Tyler, who was equally not that inspiring story-wise. But then he did get on an exploding boat and then take advantage of a young woman.
Starting point is 01:14:59 You can make drama out of that. You definitely can. Yes. So, yeah, three. Not it's totaling 10 so far okay what do you think he's looking like i'm thinking biggish not massive right yeah oh actually no no she's quite slight wasn't he no slender but beard facial hair you're going big bearded yeah but also slick back hair and be sane as well. Let's see if you get at least one of your predictions correct.
Starting point is 01:15:30 Come on. Here we go. That's what he looks like. Damn it to hell and back. No facial hair. No. No. Receding hair.
Starting point is 01:15:41 If I lost weight, I think I'd look a bit like that and shave my beard off. Yeah. No, you definitely have some similarities. You'd look a bit like that and shave my beard off yeah no you definitely have some similarities you do look a bit polkish you've got the same hairline you've got the same length hair yeah yeah in fact have a shave let's fancy dress party goes polk guess who i am a vampire he is a bit vampirish isn isn't he? Great tail. Yeah. Splendid face. Roman nose. Kindly eyes.
Starting point is 01:16:09 Some paintings and images of him where his swept back hair looks slightly more like a mullet. Oh, brilliant. Yeah. Nice. In fact, I think I mentioned him possibly having a mullet before, but the more I've looked into him, it's just swept back, back unfortunately i'd love it if there was a mulleted president that'd be amazing this is it's just swept back here he's got very kindly eyes yeah it's very friendly young yeah yeah the youngest president so far ah yeah because no one's expecting him to to be the nominee yeah wider painting it's him next to a table yeah so obviously that's kind of significant.
Starting point is 01:16:46 So that'd be a treaty or something or a declaration or constitution or something. Or his list. Perhaps. Very detailed list. He's gently cupping his hands in front of him. Non-threatening style. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 01:17:01 A bit restrained. Yeah, restrained, upright, peaceful almost. There's this kind of red look behind them. It's like a curtain, isn't it? Yeah. Which you kind of got with Jackson's, if I'm remembering correctly. So a link there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:13 It's not bad, you know? No. That's all right. It doesn't spire. It's not amazing, but it's not bad. No, that's been a bad one, yeah, to be honest. It's starting to edge towards that more George Victorian look as well. Yes, we are starting to look Victorian, aren't we?
Starting point is 01:17:30 What are you going for? Five. Yeah, I'm going middle of the road as well. So that is ten divided by four, a total of 2.5 for canvas ability. Bonus! And bonus rounds. Bonus! Yes, he served one term although to be honest i'm tempted to give him a bonus point for serving one term voluntarily and then volunteering to
Starting point is 01:17:53 step down i can't bonus that's that's precedent oh yeah no we're not going to because that's not the rules but i just like to point out that i'm actually quite impressed with that that's not one term because no one wanted him to be president anymore. Although, to be fair, he possibly would have struggled to win the next election. He was no way, not against a war hero. So, yeah, he made the right decision to step down. So one point there for serving one term. No one tried to kill him, so no points for assassination. Election.
Starting point is 01:18:20 Only one point. He actually did quite well, though. 61% of the electoral college. But you need to get above 70% to get two points. Yeah, so he doesn't get the landslide, but he does get a point there. So that's two bonus points he gets. So his total score is only 14.5. Oh, dear.
Starting point is 01:18:38 That is our fourth from bottom. Obviously, our bottom is Tyler. Yeah. With minus 2.5. Don't die a traitor. That's my suggestion. Then we've got Jackson, who is our second lowest. Don't conduct forced death matches.
Starting point is 01:18:59 Yes. Yeah. And then we've got, I mean, Polk only beats Harrison by 0.5 because Harrison got 14. Yeah. Polk only manages to beat him by 0.5, which is amazing considering Harrison did nothing as president. Polk did really quite well as president in terms of achieving his goals. But we don't judge them on just their presidency. No, it's their life.
Starting point is 01:19:23 This is their life. It's boring. Harrison's life was presidency. No, it's their life. This is their life. It's boring. Harrison's life was interesting. Pope's life wasn't. He was methodical. He got a lot done, so he gained points there, but he's not the most interesting of guys. Absolutely not. No, so there we go. Fourth and bottom, but we have a question to ask.
Starting point is 01:19:39 I'm going to say this is going to be one of the toughest ones we've had to decide. Really? Well, let's discuss it. American or American? No. Okay. As I said, a tricky conversation. Well, okay.
Starting point is 01:19:57 Things you can get it for. California, Oregon, and a few of the states. He created the current map as USA as we kind of know it now. Yeah. They're big things. You can't deny that yeah but meh life boring yeah that's one element of his presidency lasted four years so meh a president who said i will only serve one term and i will do these things who then goes and does them and then steps down i am impressed very impressed with that i somehow feel he has not got credit enough for doing that in the way we've done our rounds so perhaps this is a way we could give credit for it
Starting point is 01:20:30 okay but well no no that's like it is really hard to get around the fact that he did have quite a boring life do you know what that's a really good point i've never known a politician to be that honest and truthful would it annoy people if we did get rid of an American? I don't know. He's widely regarded as the best not great president. Yeah. Because, and I can see why. He wasn't great. He definitely wasn't, but there's
Starting point is 01:20:56 something that's impressive. But, I mean, American is meant to be those that you go out and talk about. Stop someone in the street and say, have you heard about this president? You talk about his presidency. Would you, though, that you go out and talk about. Stop someone in the street and say, have you heard about this president? You talk about his presidency. Would you, though, that much? I'm not sure I would.
Starting point is 01:21:09 He completed the map. He did complete the map. Is this why I said this would be tricky? That's why I mentioned him, though. Yeah. I'm genuinely torn. I wouldn't be against it if he said, actually, because of what he did
Starting point is 01:21:20 and because he completed the map, you'd give it to him. I wouldn't disagree with that. But I wouldn't be crushed if we just said no. i'm leaving it to you shall we for the first time in the seras flip the coin yeah i've got an american coin in there yeah exactly this is a if i can find it jimmy's got his coin book out yeah jfk yeah half dollar jfk half dollar. JFK, half dollar. Or a 1922 Lady Liberty coin, half dollar. But it's kind of the two-faced version. It's a double-headed coin.
Starting point is 01:21:52 Let's not use that one, then. Okay. Well, if you don't listen to our Roman series, you won't know this, but occasionally, when it's too hard to choose, we let Jupiter decide whether they have a Je ne sais pas. In this to choose we let jupiter decide whether they have jenny cesar in this case we'll let jfk decide i think that would be biased i think um because when the roman empire became christian we let jupiter carry on deciding because it was his job by then so i don't see why we need to kick jupiter off this job he's done a good job so far he has so jupiter needs to decide whether james
Starting point is 01:22:27 polk i i don't know are we using the coin yes let's use the coin because we clearly find it tricky to decide i am finding it tricky so let's use the coin jupiter is james polk an american or an americant head denotes what that's a good good thing to ask before you lift your hand up. Heads, yes. Yes, the president. Yes. And the eagle, no. No. James Polk is an American.
Starting point is 01:22:54 Oh. Well done, James Polk. Good on you. Somewhat boring but efficient president, you. Yeah. Well done. Good show. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:07 There you go. I genuinely wasn't expecting any americans until we hit lincoln so uh there you go someone's managed to scrape one in i mean come the knockout rounds i think he's going to be first to go you never know you never know okay so that was james polk thank you very much for listening definitely download us on pop bean on itunes and please follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Send us messages, talk to us, rate us, that kind of stuff. It's always helpful if you do. Yes. And Taylor, Zachary Taylor.
Starting point is 01:23:34 Oh, Zach Taylor. Yes. That's an American name, isn't it? Yes, it is. Zach Taylor. He is up next. So look forward to that. And check out, as we said at the start, the Presidencies podcast.
Starting point is 01:23:47 A fantastic podcast. Yeah, so check that one out as well. And all that needs to be said is... Goodbye. Goodbye. Great Scott, there you are. Yes, I'm here. So, we've invited you here for your presentation of your war plans to invade the vicious bad hombres that is Mexico.
Starting point is 01:24:19 Don't worry, lads. I've thought long and hard about this. I call this the One-Step Plan. The One-step plan? Why waste time on three steps when you can do it in one? That's what I say. Now, if you look at point one... Ah, yes. It says, oh, it says win the war. Exactly. If we could win the war, I'd say that pretty much puts it all to bed. Well, you can't really argue with that. Is there any strategy to your plan? Yes,
Starting point is 01:24:45 I've thought long and hard about this. I'm glad you brought it up. I was thinking about winning. Winning, you say? Yes. And how will that be accomplished? Well, I was hoping the enemy would lose. What about the detail and the planning? What about logistics and supplies? How do you arm and
Starting point is 01:25:02 feed your men, sir? My men will feast on a field of victory. Um, it's all very poetic and very positive, and we appreciate that in such negative times. However, you have nothing. We don't know what you're doing. This is draining the treasury a dollar at a time, and you've not got a single iota of any detail of telling us what to do. I suppose if you really want, you can see the breakdown. Fantastic. Give it to me. Right. Well, here, obviously, I've gone into more detail.
Starting point is 01:25:32 We have the preliminary situation that we're in now, as you can see here. Yes. We have not won. No, that is true. Then if you follow the flowchart there, there are possible outcomes that we could achieve. If you just follow the win branch. It's a very short branch, Scott. It just says, we won.
Starting point is 01:25:49 Hooray. Yes. And then obviously, here's the more detail I know you wanted. If you follow the lose branch. There isn't one. Exactly.

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