American Presidents: Totalus Rankium - 13.2 Millard Fillmore

Episode Date: March 9, 2019

Fillmore did not get off to the best of starts last episode, so he has a lot to do to win us round this week. Let’s hope he doesn’t sign into law something that enforces a systemic enslaving of a...n oppressed people, or something like that…

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to Totalus Rankium. This week, let's do part two. Hello and welcome to American Presidents Totalus Rankium. I am Jamie. And I'm Rob, ranking all of the presidents from Washington to Trump. And this is 13.2, the second part of Millard, sorry, Millard, Millard, Fillmore. Quack. Not Mallard. Quack. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:42 Go on. Fine, sad music. Quack. Yeah. Go on. Fine, sad music. Cued. Yeah, I typed Mallard by mistake when I first released last week's episode. So it said Mallard Fillmore, which a few people found amusing. Yeah. And then some people linked to a cartoon strip that's actually Mallard Fillmore, which I looked up and it turned out it's actually not very funny and just,
Starting point is 00:01:06 yeah, it's like, what is this? I was hoping for better. Yeah. Anyway, Millard Fillmore, part two. Any thoughts from last time? Yeah, he's the one that, because we haven't recorded in a while and we just discussed this off air, but he's sort of, I started off sort of liking it and going, oh yeah, he's an open colour, you know, farmer, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:01:26 And then I disliked him more and more as the episode went along, which doesn't often happen. Yeah, it didn't end on a high, did it? No. He's got a lot of work to do this episode. He's got a ton of work to do. Well, let's see if he does. All right, are you ready for today's introduction? Oh, yeah, go for it.
Starting point is 00:01:44 Okay, okay. Start with blue. No. Well, yeah, go for it. Okay, okay. Start with blue. No. Well, yes, actually. Oh. Bizarrely, in a way. Well, no, blank screens are black, probably. Of course, of course.
Starting point is 00:01:54 It's easiest, isn't it, Rob? Fine. Start with blue. A light blue. Okay. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:02:04 Good. When exactly is this? Because you've got like the studio logos do you go straight to blue after that or is it black and then fade to blue i mean now you get you know you get the adverts and you get the studio things like universal thing or the thing and you get other things going on yeah there's suddenly blue screen right okay but but light blue pale blue pale blue right duck egg blue yes and you can hear waves sort of soft laughing with waves yeah i like that the blue slowly turns into black the sea oh yeah also it focuses yeah oh like that yeah you like it and
Starting point is 00:02:42 then it like pans along a bit I do like panning slowly over things, don't I, at the start? There is a theme There is a theme, yeah And it pans over the beach for a bit, which is nice You notice a Native American man Lying face down on the beach in the surf Like he's been washed up
Starting point is 00:03:02 How far into the story does this person go he turns up again later oh he's alive then that's good yeah he's breathing it's fine good the waves are washing over his ankles slightly it's just yeah yeah you hear him splutter a bit yeah he's out of it but it's fine it's a crab nibbling at his toe yeah and then off camera you hear some voices getting closer it's hard to tell what they're saying it's fine. It's a crab nibbling at his toe. Yeah. And then off camera you hear some voices getting closer. It's hard to tell what they're saying.
Starting point is 00:03:28 It's quite a distance away. Yeah, a bit like that. I said to her No, no, not like that. Because they sound excited. Something big's happened. And then you realise the reason why
Starting point is 00:03:40 you can't understand them is because they're speaking what sounds suspiciously like Japanese. What? Yeah. Of course, if you know Japanese and you're watching, you can understand them and they're saying things like, look, it's a man in the water. Is this
Starting point is 00:03:56 the beginning of Pearl Harbour? No. Okay. They reach the man in the water. They pick him up. He splutters. He looks about him. His Japanese rescuers are looking worried, scared, angry But Japanese are angry. I thought excited a minute ago. Well, excited in a kind of excitable way. Okay.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Yeah. Close up on the man who had been shipwrecked. He is now firmly being led to a nearby town. He hears one of the Japanese men say the word Nagasaki. A smile appears on the shipwrecked man's face. Cut to black. Millard Fillmore. Part two.
Starting point is 00:04:36 What's all that about? Nagasaki. Yeah? I've heard that. That's right. Swerve. We started today's episode on the beaches of Japan. Oh!
Starting point is 00:04:47 Did you not realise that? No, I thought they'd landed in California or something. For reasons that will become clear, you didn't really get any Japanese people in America at this time. It's quite far away. It's not that. You've got plenty of Chinese people. It will become clear later
Starting point is 00:05:03 on. Let's go into Fillmore here, because when we left him, where we left him was Taylor was dead. Yes. The president's dead. For the second time in a row, the Whig president has died in office. Bugger. Poor Whigs. Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:22 They just can't cut a break, can they? So the Whigs, as they did last time sent for the vice president and this time obviously it's millard fillmore hello now few outside new york really knew who he was uh but he was an almost lifelong wig so this will be fine won't it yeah it's like it's fine millard fillmore i'm not entirely sure who he is but he's got the hat he's got the cloak he's got the wig he's been awake all his life yeah he's got the wig wig and he'll be fine so first of all 81 year old william crank or crunch it was wheeled out from somewhere he was a chief judge in the circuit court for the District of Columbia. He had been appointed by none other than John Adams.
Starting point is 00:06:06 Wow. Yeah. Who's the creakiest old man we can find to lend this some legitimacy here. Hello. He comes out and he does all the official stuff and swears in Millard Fillmore. I humbly swear to support the office. What? Support the office!
Starting point is 00:06:29 What? Who are you? Where's John gone? I'm scared. Yeah, no speeches were made. Everyone was in a very sombre mood. Yeah. Understandably, really.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Now, to begin with, the little details were sorted. Fillmore contacted Margaret Taylor, Taylor's now widow, who is obviously living in the White House. Oh, she won't let me move now. Well, Fillmore let her know, you can stay here as long as you want. It's like, you've
Starting point is 00:06:59 just gone through a terrible loss. So don't worry about moving out. It's fine. i'll move in whenever you're ready like whenever honestly no rush i mean i am the president and that is the white house but it's fine it's fine no rush at all or big empty house just for you on your own no apparently film all was very courteous. However, Margaret, who never really wanted to be there in the first place, if you remember, she
Starting point is 00:07:30 never wanted her husband to be president. Oh yeah. You're looking back in your notes there, you're going to have to go back to Taylor's episode to find her. It's been a while. But yeah, she didn't want Taylor to be president and wasn't too happy, so within three days she was out, going home. So Fillmore
Starting point is 00:07:45 gets set up in the presidential mansion. And there's a story here that circulated soon afterwards about Fillmore deciding to get a new carriage. After all, he's now the president. He should probably have a new carriage. So he asked an attendant in the White House to secure one for him. Like, you there, go and find me a new carriage. But this attendant was known as Old Edward. Oh, Eddie. Good old Eddie. He'd been there a while. He's done the rounds. He knows how to get things done in the capital.
Starting point is 00:08:13 So if you just need a carriage in a hurry, he's your man. So Old Edward scuttles off, Fillmore waits for a bit, and then Edward comes back with news of a second-hand carriage that was being sold due to the owner leaving town suddenly. Which always sounds suspicious. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Karen, big bags of white powder. Yeah, I couldn't find out why this person had to leave suddenly, but who knows. Anyway, apparently it was a very good carriage and a decent price. Fillmore replied thus. decent price. Fillmore replied thus, That is all very well, Edward, but how would it do for the President of the United States to ride around in a
Starting point is 00:08:50 second-hand carriage? Old Edward is said to have replied, But sure, your Excellency is only a second-hand President. Oh! Give him some ointment. Yes. Apparently Fillmore found this very amusing
Starting point is 00:09:06 and told the story later in life It's fine That's good Actually a bit of respect comes back to him then because that's quite nice There you go That's the one humorous anecdote
Starting point is 00:09:19 we have for Fillmore's presidency So I hope you enjoyed that How many pages left? It's fine. We'll find something else amusing, I'm sure. So Taylor's now president. He's got himself a carriage, but what he really needs is a cabinet.
Starting point is 00:09:33 As in a people cabinet or an actual... Possockery cabinet. Possibly both. Yeah. In terms of just like the cupboards, I have no details. But in terms of who was going to rule the country with him, well, obviously Taylor already had a cabinet,
Starting point is 00:09:48 and they all handed in their resignations. Really? Well, this was a fairly standard thing. I mean, OK, only one president's died before, but hand in your resignation, and the expectation was that Fillmore would then rehire them. It kind of shows continuity and unification. It's like, you're not just a leftover cabinet, you're my cabinet,
Starting point is 00:10:11 because I rehired you. I'm with you. Yeah. However, if you remember, Fillmore was not a happy man when he rose to be president. Taylor had all but shunned him, preferring the advice from his political rival, Seward. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Taylor had all but shunned him, preferring the advice from his political rival, Seward.
Starting point is 00:10:25 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Now, Fillmore had been excluded from the cabinet's important decisions and discussions. He wasn't in there in the meetings. He felt very left out. And now he's in charge. Oh, dear. So he was not necessarily inclined to welcome everyone back in without a thought.
Starting point is 00:10:48 And in fact, he did not rehire anyone. Oh dear. For them. And also kind of for the country. I mean, usually a president-elect has a long time to think about their cabinet. Yeah. They have a few months to put it together. If they're effective, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:04 If they're effective, if they've thought about it, yeah. However, Fillmore just gets rid of the old cabinet and doesn't really have anyone to put into the positions. Void. Yeah. So he's then scrambling for a while trying to fill the positions. His own ego. Yeah, I mean, it might have been more sensible
Starting point is 00:11:20 as some historians have pointed out to gradually replace people. But he decided not to do that. Although, to be fair to Fillmore here, getting your own cabinet's not necessarily a bad idea. If we go way back to John Adams, since we've already mentioned him, he regretted not replacing Washington's cabinet that was full of Hamiltonians. Tyler, also, upon replacing Harrison, did not get a new cabinet, and then he had to fight every step of the way until he was thrown out the party.
Starting point is 00:11:49 So it's not necessarily a bad thing, getting your own cabinet, that's quite sensible, but perhaps he could have done it in a better way. So here's my letter of resignation, formality of course, I'm sure you understand why you're looking at me like that. I left my name tag sitting on the table. Oh. Who's Jeff? Why is my mug in the bin? Everyone says pig in work on it. Yeah, Fillmore got serious about these pirates.
Starting point is 00:12:18 Oh, no. Anyway, he now needs to start to think about who is going to be in his cabinet. To begin with, the most important position, the Secretary of State. Phil Moore decides on a man named Webster. Now, I'm sure I've mentioned Webster before. Yeah. Dictionary guy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:37 He's a very large name in the Whig Party. He's almost as big as clay. He's approaching 70 by this point, and he's not in the best of health. However, he was the Secretary of State under both Harrison and Tyler, so he was seen as a decent choice. He's got the chops. Just don't stress him out or anything. No bad news.
Starting point is 00:12:57 Yeah. Well, I say he was seen as a decent choice. At least he was by some on wigs. Ooh. Yeah, because in his home state of Massachusetts, his popularity had just plummeted because he had just come out
Starting point is 00:13:11 in favour of that compromise that Clay has been working on. Where you have to capture a slave thing. We'll go into all that in just a moment, but yes, that's the one. Right. Now, because of this, it looked very likely that Webster was going to lose his seat's the one. Right. Now, because of this, it looked very likely that Webster was going to lose his seat in the Senate. So a move to the executive branch seemed like a
Starting point is 00:13:31 good idea. So because he was probably going to lose his seat, Webster started to see those in his party that opposed the compromise as traitors to the party that needed to be removed. Fair enough. Yeah. So, as you can see, the new political landscape is starting to dawn on most here. Yes, this is still a Whig government that Fillmore's going to be running, but it's not going to be the same Whig government as Tyler's. All of two months that it was there.
Starting point is 00:14:03 A year and a half, to be fair. Oh there a year and a half to be fair oh you know fair enough yeah obviously this is going to have a huge impact on the big issue of the day yeah which is the aforementioned compromise debates on the compromise dominate film war's time in office so let's have a quick recap on this compromise shall we because it's been a while since we've discussed it that's a good idea now if you remember the remember, the annexation of Texas had led to the Mexican War. Yeah. And then the victory in that war had led to the acquisition of California and the New Mexico territories.
Starting point is 00:14:34 This led to the question of slavery. What are they going to do? Exactly. What's going to happen with the new land? Now, at the moment, we have the Missouri Compromise in place, if you remember, that stated any new state above a certain line would be a free state, anything below could be a slave state. Would California go through that line? Ah well, that's part of the problem. Yeah, now the new land, many people started to debate, well what do we do with the new land?
Starting point is 00:15:03 That line was drawn when we didn't have this line. Do we just draw a cross? What's going on here? Now, as we have seen, things had gotten tense in the capital with pro- and anti-slavery groups going at each other, roughly divided north and south across both parties. Things had come to a bit of a gridlock, not much getting done. And in comes Henry Clay,
Starting point is 00:15:26 the great compromiser, to work things out once more. Now, Clay is a southern slave-owning Whig, and he hoped he could pull most to his way of thinking. He had met with Daniel Webster, and they had come up with a plan that they thought would save the Union. No tax on fishermen. Is this your plan? Yeah. I don't know how well that would have gone down. Probably quite well.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Fishmen? Brilliantly. Yeah, if you say no tax on something, people generally... And that means they can sell fish for cheaper. Yeah. Which should help the economy. Although you're not getting more money. People will buy more fish, which may supplement the tax that's not being collected on the economy. Although you're not getting more money. People will buy more fish,
Starting point is 00:16:06 which may supplement the taxes not being collected on the fish. I haven't thought this through, I'll be honest. I'm not entirely sure how it addresses the slavery issue. Well. Might be missing one or two of the bigger issues of the day. Which means you could then feed the slaves fish, because it's so cheap now. Right.
Starting point is 00:16:23 So that would mean, mean oh they like fish now these slaves so if they were free when they're free they'd buy more fish and probably better fish because everyone they'd have money to spend on fish so free the slaves exactly and everyone would have been very confused confused i think it... I can't help but feel that the debates probably were quite similar to that. People just trying to blindly see their way through. What do we do to solve this problem? It's like tax cuts for the biggest big corporations. That'll help everybody.
Starting point is 00:16:57 Yeah. Right, well, that's not quite what Clay and Webster came up with. Oh, really? No, no. I'm surprised. Yeah. Shall I go over the compromise again? I've briefly mentioned it before, but this is roughly what was hammered out.
Starting point is 00:17:15 So for the North, it was stated that California would gain statehood as a free state, even though a majority of it is below the Missouri compromise line. Yeah, well. It will be a free state, even though a majority of it is below the Missouri Compromise Line. It will be a free state. The New Mexican territory would have their territory not run by the Texans. Remember Texas was claiming that they owned that? Yeah. And also, the slave trade would be banned in the capital. DC. Yes, Washington. So, these were some big issues for the North and many would have been very happy with this. The South, however, also got some major concessions. The new territories other than California would not ban slavery and when it entered the states it could become a slave state. So any state, any new state after California could have slaves. Yeah, it was basically saying, forget the Missouri Compromise.
Starting point is 00:18:07 Any new state can become a slave state in the new territory. What if a new state joined but they didn't want slaves? They could also do that. Okay. But it opened the door to slavery. I'm with you. Yeah. Next, for the South, the government would pay for the land that Texas thought that it owned.
Starting point is 00:18:24 So if you remember, they had to end up paying for it twice because Texas were throwing a wobbler. Also, there was a promise that slavery would not end in the capital without the support of Maryland. Or Maryland, as I think you're meant to pronounce it. So remember that slave trade is banned in the capital. Slavery is still, and could not be banned unless Maryland also agreed that it would end.
Starting point is 00:18:49 So effectively, it's not going to end. Also, Congress would promise not to interfere with interstate slave trading, which is fairly big. So the federal government saying we won't interfere with things going between states, i.e. the selling of people.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Yeah. And then, that's not even the big one. This is the big one. The one you alluded to. The Fugitive Slave Act would go through. No. Now, there were many who thought that this compromise gave everyone enough that this would get rid of the deadlock.
Starting point is 00:19:21 But there were also many who saw this giving far too much away on both sides. Some hardline pro-slavery men in Congress were furious at the thought of the loss of California as a slave state. It was not just the land, but you'd also have two more anti-slavery senators in the Senate if California becomes a free state. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah, so it's not just a new state being formed. That's powering the government as well. Tipping the balance of it. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:19:53 Also, these people thought the ban of the slave trade in the capital was the start of a slippery slope. You ban it there, I mean, who knows? Maybe we won't be allowed to buy and sell over human beings all over the place. That would be awful. Over humanity. Yeah. So there were some who had that opinion, but perhaps most of the anger against
Starting point is 00:20:07 the compromise came from the anti-slavery side. So, mostly the North. First of all, you've got the fact that the concessions for the North really weren't actually that good when you stop to think about it. California as a free state sounds great, doesn't it? Yeah. No slavery in the
Starting point is 00:20:24 new state. It stops the spread of slavery on the West Coast. Not really. No? Because any new state on the West Coast does slavery. Well, yeah. You've opened the floodgates essentially. Yeah, and also, many in the anti-slavery camp thought that this
Starting point is 00:20:40 so-called gift of California was already theirs. They already had it. After all, California had already made it very clear that they had no intention of being a slave state. They'd already announced that they wanted to enter the Union as a free state. So it's going to happen. The population over there was exploding due to the gold rush, and it was almost entirely a white population that wanted work. They had no interest in slavery starting in that state. Why take our work away from us?
Starting point is 00:21:09 Yeah, exactly. So there were many in government who said, well, look, California is going to be a free state. There's no way we can change this. Even if you wanted it to be a slave state, it's never going to be one. So this is a rubbish concession. Yeah. Next up, New Mexico getting to be a territory separate
Starting point is 00:21:26 from texas oh that's a good thing but it doesn't really do anything to stop slavery because new mexico could become a slave state down the road yeah that's that's not a slave concession at all it's just it's not great is it i mean the people of new mexico would have appreciated it but anti slavery campaigners wouldn't really see this as great. Do you think that may have been done as a sort of a, look, what we can do for you, we gave you this, don't have slaves, sort of thing? No? I mean, New Mexico didn't want slavery in the same way as California didn't want slavery. Ah, so there's no concession at all then? Not really, no. It's not great. And then third, the abolition of the slave trade in the district of columbia i mean that sounds a good headline doesn't it the abolishment how many farms are in dc
Starting point is 00:22:12 well yeah exactly i mean uh it's a small area other few that work in houses well yeah you could literally go down the road into virginia or maryland and just go and buy and sell people and then come back into the city with your slaves. I mean, it doesn't really do anything. Yeah, so what exactly were the North getting again? Many people asked. Fair question. Yeah, whereas if you look at the South, they'd, okay, they'd lost a state that they wanted to be a slave state, but they were going to lose that anyway. And in return, they got the potential to spread slavery in the new territories. And they also got the Fugitive Slave Act. Why am I right now seeing the South as, like, almost evil?
Starting point is 00:22:58 I mean, it's not as simple as that. I understand that. It's economic. Yeah. But with that economy comes a lack of morality as well it's very hard to defend the actions of the self not in this period of time yeah which is why there's been certain rewriting of history going on ever since the civil war yeah uh but we'll cover that when we get after the Civil War. So despite
Starting point is 00:23:26 the fact there were many people on either side not happy with the compromise, Fillmore was convinced that this is the only way forward. I mean, we're not getting anything done. We need to do something. And at least this is something. He's a doer. Even if it's rubbish, he's a doer. Yeah, exactly. As long as
Starting point is 00:23:42 it's something. However, the compromise was stalling. I mean, it just wasn't going anywhere. Debate after debate, it clearly wasn't going through. And then something happened that shook Fillmore's presidency slightly. It was the Texans. If you remember, the Texans had come to Taylor and demanded that the US give the land that they deemed to be theirs to them.
Starting point is 00:24:04 And Taylor had turned around and told them that he would happily hang them all as traitors if they carried along this path. Yeah. They'd just turn up. We demand this land. I will kill you. Okay. Fair enough. I'm really sorry. Yeah, the Texans had backed off. But there's a new man in the White House now. And Fillmore soon received a letter from the governor of Texas, a man named Peter Bell. Now, the letter was actually addressed to Taylor, so this is Bell obviously testing the waters with the old general, but finding Fillmore, who received the letter differently to how Taylor would have done. Now, again, Bell was demanding that the U.S. recognize Texas's claim to the lands of New Mexico, including Santa Fe.
Starting point is 00:24:44 So, like, the capital of New Mexico. Had Taylor still been around, he likely would have just ignored it, or perhaps jumped on a horse, rode down there, and knocked some heads together. I can certainly imagine that. Yes, definitely. Coconut sounding. Yeah. Just grabbing two Texans at a time.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Knock, knock, knock. Every couple of Texans got their heads knocked together. Come on, guys. You're in the US now. Stop messing about. Sold it out. Yeah. Fillmore, however, no soldier, was understandably worried this looked like part of the United States rising up.
Starting point is 00:25:22 So he ordered more troops to go down to the region, while at the same time conferring with those who supported the Texan claims, trying to get an understanding of what's going on here. So he lets it be known that he supported Clay's proposals. So in other words, please calm down, Texas. No, you're not going to get the land, but if this compromise goes through, you will be paid compensation. Let that be enough. And the area will still be open to slavery, so you can still keep your human beings. That's a depressing sentence you just said there.
Starting point is 00:26:02 So, a committee was then put together to discuss the matter of the boundary between Texas and New Mexico territories. The New Mexico government, however, were told that they would not be allowed to attend the discussions because they weren't a state. Ah, yeah. League Alice's. Yeah, this is clearly Texas getting one-up politically here, and the talks kind of break down because everyone realises that's a bit not on.
Starting point is 00:26:22 So, yeah. And because of this stalling, it holds up all of Clay's compromise and the whole thing grinds to a halt. Ooh. Yeah. Clay, devastated, realising that he's not going to get his bill through. I mean, everything's in one bill. It all passes or nothing does.
Starting point is 00:26:39 Okay. Yeah. And that's why it's being held up. So he gives up. He leaves the capital. However, there's still many who want to see the compromise go through. So a Democratic senator called Douglas started working on putting it all back together again. Fillmore puts a lot of pressure on the Whig party to aid Douglas, even though he's a Democrat.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Convinced that the compromise was the only way forward. We need bipartisanship here. So, support this. Now, Douglas, realising the main problem with Clay's compromise was it's too big. The all-or-nothing attitude. Push everything through. I mean, you can understand why Clay did that. Yeah, all in one fell swoop.
Starting point is 00:27:18 It's a compromise. We all need to agree that, yes, you get the bits you like, but you've got to put up with the bits you don't. Yeah, but people don't like that, unfortunately. No. I don't like that, so no. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:27:29 So, Douglas splits it all up into separate bills. Instead of voting for all of it, you can now vote one at a time. And actually, in the political climate, this is a clever move. Clay's omnibus bill had support of those in the middle, but the two extremes of the pro and anti-slavery factions hated it and would never vote for it. However, introduced one at a time, at least one of the extreme factions would be on board whilst retaining support of the middle.
Starting point is 00:27:56 Yes. So one by one, they all start to go through. Fillmore putting a lot of pressure on his party to follow the line here. He would let senators and congressmen know that those who supported the bills, that they wouldn't necessarily usually, would have his support in upcoming elections. And a
Starting point is 00:28:15 hand shandy. A figurative hand shandy, perhaps. And those who opposed would struggle to get elected again, shall we just say. Yes. Yeah. You may find your future endeavours slightly diminished. Yeah, now, whether Fillmore has this much influence at this time is debatable. But the threat of it is enough.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Well, yeah, and he was able to guide his party Nonetheless The bills pass The compromise became known as the Compromise of 1850 Including the whole Slave if you know a slave Thing that passed as well Oh yes Fillmore waits a couple of days
Starting point is 00:29:00 To pass that one Some of his supporters say Oh it's because he realised how horrible the Fugitive Slave Act was, but realistically it was just him waiting and making sure it's politically safe to do it. Yeah, the right time. Yeah. Now, in the short term, this was celebrated.
Starting point is 00:29:19 It's the end of the deadlock. Government can now start to function again. However, the fact that the Civil War is now only one decade away gives you an idea on how successful this compromise was. Yeah. I mean, there's a clear split right now. Yeah, there really is. Anyway, California's now a state. Yay. The Fugitive Slave Act's now in effect.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Yeah. And with all that nasty business behind him, Fillmore can start focusing on the manifest destiny of the United States. Now, being a Whig, as I've mentioned before, Fillmore believed more that it was economic growth that would lead to the US being the best nation that it could be. Yeah. So he starts thinking about how to improve the country. First of all, he realised now that the country had a coast on the Pacific. Beaches, holidays, resorts. It's time to start giving out those red shorts to the lifeguards.
Starting point is 00:30:13 And a few extra small ones. Well, no, if you've got a coast on the Pacific, it's time to start really thinking about trade properly on that end of the country. The vast ocean had trade over it for quite some time, obviously. But if you've got an official state on the coast, it's time to get official. It meant focusing on foreign relations. So that's what Fillmore does for a while. He looks at the international standing of the United States. Now, to begin with, France was looking to annex Hawaii at this point.
Starting point is 00:30:48 How? It's so far away from them. Well, I mean, big maritime empire that France is. That's true. Now, Hawaii at this time is an independent kingdom that the United States traded a lot with, mainly sugar. But the reason why Fillmore saw Hawaii as important is because it's an obvious refuge place for those trading over the Pacific yeah yeah I mean it's a good stop off point
Starting point is 00:31:09 yeah now Fillmore was very keen to see that Hawaii did not fall into the hands of any other great maritime state and should be and I quote here accessible and useful to the commerce of all nations mainly us. Build a bridge from California to Hawaii. Yes, that's what they should have done. It's only a few thousand miles. Yeah, easy. So he sends a firm letter, does Fillmore, to President Louis Napoleon.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Great name. Yeah, to let him know that when the United States had told Europe, hands off the Americas, do you remember Monroe did that? Yeah. Yeah, that includes Hawaii. I mean, I know it's really far away from the Americas, but we're counting that as ours, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:53 It's closer to us than it is to you. Exactly. Louis Napoleon decided, oh, okay, you're right, this isn't worth it. He was clearly too busy planning to overthrow France's Second Republic, declare himself Emperor Napoleon III, and then lead the second French empire to victory. Like you do. No, of course. Yeah, busy time in French history. French history seems to have more history than most other countries. It's freaking dense. There's a lot of stuff going on. Within like a hundred years, so much happened's insane yeah i mean we've not
Starting point is 00:32:25 mentioned france for a while but the fact that um we've now got another republic that's about to end and go into another empire uh shows you how busy french history is an interesting time to cover wouldn't it oh it would it would yeah oh imagine the accents dread to think. Anyway, however, as much as Fillmore saw Hawaii as important, he had eyes on bigger things. And that is Japan. Linking to the start. Ooh!
Starting point is 00:32:55 Yeah. So, we are now going to go on a Japanese tangent. You ready? Go for it. Japan had largely shut itself down to the international world for the last 220 years. I'd heard that. Yeah, to hugely oversimplify things here because we haven't really got time to go into it. But they saw Europe colonising the entire world and decided to protect themselves by just shutting down.
Starting point is 00:33:23 It's like, no, we're not dealing with anyone they doubt a little bit with the dutch because they got there first but apart from that it was it's like no trade often that happens historically when a country is dealing with internal things yes and there were also internal factors involved as well which i'm just not going to get into that's fine um yes because we certainly don't have time to go into that. We'll just call it stuff. Stuff was going on in Japan, and that stuff had led to 220 years of isolation. That's a lot of stuff.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Yes. Now, I mean, it's not completely closed off. There was some limited trade with China, and like I said, a little bit with the Dutch. But compared to the rest of the world, I mean, it's shut down. Yeah. No one's going in, no one's coming out. Fillmore, who'd always been fascinated with geography and history, could not help but
Starting point is 00:34:10 wonder what it would be like if they could just, like, open Japan up a little bit. Oh, let's crack that egg. Yeah. Let's open that jar of pickles. I mean, it would open up the Pacific even more. And, I mean, small detail here, but it would also be one in the eye for those Europeans. Yes. Who just think they're so great. Yeah, what we can do. Yeah. Now, this is not Fillmore being revolutionary over here. This has been tried before. Yeah. Yeah. In the last 50
Starting point is 00:34:38 years in particular, major powers from all over the world had been trying to open Japan up, hoping to dominate the trade with the island nation once it did so. The British, the French, the Russians, the Portuguese, and even the Australians had all attempted this. G'day! Want to buy some didgeridoos?
Starting point is 00:34:57 I'm being offensive. I apologise. How about a boomerang? Yeah. That's what they turned up and said how about a koala you're just gonna keep going through all the australian every stereotype i can think of i'm gonna stop yeah uh so far everyone's failed to trade with japan including america yeah but what we're going to do now is briefly recap all the major attempts of trading with Japan from America since the
Starting point is 00:35:30 start of America. Oh yeah, you ready? I'm going to put my pen away because I feel like I won't need it for this. No, no, this is good stuff. Here we go. Here we go. This is what I got into history for. Right, okay. Trade agreements. Well, no, there are no trade agreements. That's the whole point. This is people failing to get them. Right. To begin with, first of all,
Starting point is 00:35:52 the first American, officially like American, to have visited Japan was apparently a man named John Kendrick, who in 1791, while sailing to China, stopped off on a little island just off the coast of mainland Japan. He is said to have planted a flag in it, claimed the land for the United States, and then sailed on. Which is brilliant. It's like Japanese villagers waking up one morning and saying, what the hell's that?
Starting point is 00:36:22 Did you see the strange man? I saw the strange man. He put something in the ground. He's saying something like mine? Then he just went away. What shall we do with it? Yes. I just love how British early America was.
Starting point is 00:36:39 Yes. This is ours now. Named it for us. Well, you could argue early America was British. Well, yeah, exactly. So there you go. That is ours now. Claimed it for us. Well, you could argue early America was British. Well, yeah, exactly. So there you go. That's the first American in Japan. Brilliant.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Then in the early 1800s, there was an attempt by some US captains sailing under a Dutch flag to get the Japanese to trade. Like I said, there was some limited Dutch trade. So they tried to use that as an in. It just didn't work. Then, in 1825, the leaders of Japan, getting a bit fed up of all these traders showing up all the bloody time trying to get them to trade, ordered that all foreign traders coming ashore be arrested or killed. They were serious about this. be arrested or killed. They were serious about this.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Seriously, leave us alone. So, 1834, flash forward another 10 years, a Japanese boat washes up on the border of the United States and Canada, like near Seattle nowadays. Yeah. Yeah. Now, this boat was a trading boat that was carrying rice, and it had been damaged in a storm, a trading boat that was carrying rice and it had been damaged in the storm and it had been floating free in the ocean for the last 14 months. Wow. Wait, 14 months old rice? 14 months. The men
Starting point is 00:37:56 on this boat were forced to live on that ship, just bobbing in the sea. Out of everyone, only three of them were alive by the time they hit the United States coast. That's some hecka cabin fever. Just imagine being on that boat, eating rice for 14 months, just watching as your friends slowly die. Oh. Yeah. It's like, we've played this game before.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Yeah, not great. The survivors wash up, obviously very thankful to see land again. The ground's not wobbly. It's amazing! Yeah, the survivors were passed from the United States to Britain and then to China, while various people attempted to use them as a diplomatic way to talk to the Japanese. It really was a case of, oh look, Japanese people, Let's use them somehow to try and crack open the trade. We don't know anything. We're fishermen.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Yes. This is a massive misunderstanding. Well, eventually in 1837, so a few years later, a US businessman attempted to sail into Japan and return the three men. Like, look who I've got. I've got some people from Japan who I've saved, so maybe we could talk.
Starting point is 00:39:08 And whilst we talk, we could maybe talk trade. And, oh, you're now firing cannons on me. Oh dear. Yeah. He was fired upon, so he retreated. And then he went back and he was fired on again, so he's retreated. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:23 The three Japanese men just went to live in China. So then, fast forward a few more years, in 1845, the captain of the ship Manhattan, which was a whaling ship, rescued 22 shipwrecked Japanese sailors. Sailors now negotiators. Well, yeah, the captain attempted to sail into the isolated country and this time he was allowed to stay for a bit oh 22 men who had recently left the island yeah of course yeah come on in he met some local officials who were very polite very courteous
Starting point is 00:39:57 he was given gifts of thanks and then after four days he was very politely but very firmly put back on his boat and told never return. Like that. Yeah. We're really happy you brought back these 22 men, but... Go away. We never want to see you again. Next up, James Biddle.
Starting point is 00:40:18 I've heard that name. Oh, yes, because, amazingly, this is the brother of Nicholas Biddle. Ah! Who is the president of the National Bank, or at least he used to. The wizard. Yes, he's a wizard. So this is James Biddle, who presumably was also a wizard or a muggle. Who knows?
Starting point is 00:40:37 Not a muggle. Oh. I can't remember the word. I can only remember the really offensive one. Mudblood. Yeah. Squib. Squib, yes. Yes, maybe he was a squib who knows if you've not read harry potter you have no idea what we're talking about don't worry it's fine yeah so anyway you've got james biddle uh james biddle served in the navy
Starting point is 00:41:00 in the war of 1812 and then in 1845 had just signed the first ever US-China trade treaty. Okay. Yeah, he'd gone over to China, signed the first ever treaty, and then on his way back thought, you know what, I'll have a crack at Japan. It's gone well so far. So in 1846, he turns up on the coast of Japan. This is overconfidence, isn't it? He sends a message.
Starting point is 00:41:26 I've just signed this trade treaty with China. It's really great. I mean, we're all really happy with it. I just think you guys should sign one like it. The Japanese are turning to each other, whispering, but we hate the Chinese. Well, it's okay, because James Biddle isn't an idiot. He realises Japan's probably just going to say no like they always do.
Starting point is 00:41:47 So he also points out that he has two very shiny-looking warships with him. Just in case you want to notice that. Anyway, trade. A Japanese ship approaches. Biddle was invited on board to discuss things. He hesitates. Should I do this? But nope, this is what I'm here to do. So he decides to cross things. He hesitates. Should I do this? But no, this is what I'm here to do.
Starting point is 00:42:06 So he decides to cross over. Then there was some kind of faux pas. We're not sure what, but Biddle somehow managed to offend one of the samurai guards. Okay, you know when you overcook toast and it gets all dark and brown and horrible? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:20 That. Well, he just, that was his gift, overcooked toast. Well, it's meant to be normal toast but he overcooked it that would offend me that would offend me as well or maybe he just did that typical speaking in English but really loud gesturing
Starting point is 00:42:36 yeah slowing it down a bit have you got a toilet imagine miming that maybe that's it maybe? Imagine miming that. Maybe that's it. Maybe he was miming, I need to use the facilities. It didn't go down well. Who knows?
Starting point is 00:42:57 Anyway, if there's any group of people in history that I wouldn't want to be angering, it's someone known as a samurai guard. And that's what Biddle manages manages to do okay yeah the guard pushes him and then draws his sword out well they're the big their swords i watched a documentary about how their swords were made very sharp though yeah very sharp you don't want to mess with those they can cut things yeah um that's what biddle thought so he retreats very very quickly to his ship then the japanese sent word they apologize for misunderstanding it's fine uh i'm sure the toast was fine and we do actually have toilets
Starting point is 00:43:31 i'm sure you're just scratching your eye yeah uh but just so you know japan is closed we're not trading with you so biddle decides not to push things and retreats. He's got his China trade agreement. It was a good trip. A year later, in 1848, a man named James Glynn was sent to try again. I mean, the United States are quite keen by this point. Reports had come through that there were some United States prisoners in the country. So Glynn was sent to go and retrieve them. And also, whilst you're there, see what you can see. He was, in fact, successful in getting the prisoners
Starting point is 00:44:06 back. Oh. Yeah. One man was of particular interest. He was an American man, half Native American, half Scottish descent. And he announced when he was rescued that he'd been living in Japan for the last ten months, teaching the samurai
Starting point is 00:44:21 English. He had pretended to be shipwrecked, but had gone there on purpose. Is this ringing a bell? This is the start of the episode. Oh! It's the start of the episode. It's the start of the episode, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:34 Yeah, this is a guy who, bored one day, decided to purposely sail to Japan, pretend to be shipwrecked, just so he could go and see what it was like. Do you know what, though? If I was sailing, I got lost at sea and I crash landed in Japan, that's exactly the thing I would say. What, that you'd done it on purpose?
Starting point is 00:44:51 On purpose, yeah. Yeah, I'm meant to do this. Well, no, because he'd, like, booked passage on a ship to China and then partway there just kind of jumped down to Japan. It really was a case of he just wanted to go and do it. Once back in the United States, obviously he'd been there for 10 months, so he had a lot of information, more so than anyone else in America, about what Japan was like. So when back in the United States, he was able to tell the government that Japan was a highly policed
Starting point is 00:45:21 society, where people behaved to the highest standard. And Glynn, the captain, also suggested that if enough force was shown, he believed Japan would actually be able to be made to sign a treaty. So forcing them to sign a treaty. That seems really weird. It's like normally it's a mutual agreement. It benefits both. But yeah, we'll get to that.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Very aggressively. We'll get to that. Right. So that catches us up to modern day. We're now in Fillmore's presidency. Right. He really wants to be the man who opens up Japan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:50 So he writes a letter to the Emperor of Japan and sent it with a man named Perry, along with some gifts. Gifts that were designed to awe. A model train. I'm guessing to show, like, the train transport system, not like one of those little wooden ones kids toy style
Starting point is 00:46:10 I offer you gifts early learning centre block of wood with some little rickety wheels on it so a model train some farm machinery an early camera, some rifles. Oh.
Starting point is 00:46:27 Yeah. Samuel Colt himself supplied some pistols. The Colt. Yeah. Yeah. And Samuel Morse provided a telegraph machine. Yeah. Even sent someone to train the sailors how to use it during the voyage so they could show how it works when they got there.
Starting point is 00:46:43 Nice. Yeah. And send an SOS. Help. They really don't like the gifts. So the gifts and the letter were all sent over with, one small detail here, four large warships. Hmm. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Do you want to hear what Fillmore wrote to the Emperor? Sign us or die. Well, I will quote here. Great and good friend, I send you this public letter by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, an officer of the highest rank in the Navy of the United States and commander of the squadron now visiting your Imperial Majesty's dominions. I have directed Commodore Perry to assure your Imperial Majesty that I entertain the kindest feelings towards your Majesty's person and government, and that I have no other object
Starting point is 00:47:36 in sending him to Japan, but to propose to your Imperial Majesty that the United States and Japan should live in friendship and have commercial intercourse with each other. Oui. Oui. He then goes on to mention that he wants to open up trade, that he wants shipwrecked US citizens to be treated well in Japan, and, at the very least, can you sell some coal to us when we pass you on the way to China? So he finishes with, cold to us when we pass you on the way to china so he finishes with these are the only objects for which i have sent commodore perry with a powerful squadron to pay a visit to your imperial majesty's renowned city of edo which is nice just just a subtle bit at the end there that's quite nice yeah this letter was accompanied also by a letter by Perry himself.
Starting point is 00:48:25 Perry, obviously, a long journey over the Pacific, thinks I best pen my own letter to say I want to give you a letter from the president. Perry, let's just say, slightly less diplomatic. This is his letter. You will die, foreign dogs. Well, let's see. No friendship can long exist unless Japan ceases to act towards Americans as if they were her enemies. However wise the policy of isolation may originally have been,
Starting point is 00:48:56 it is unwise and impractical now that the intercourse between the two countries is so much more easy and rapid than it formerly was. Intercourse. Many of the large ships of war destined to visit Japan have not yet arrived in these seas, though they are hourly expected. The United States, as an evidence of his friendly intentions, has brought but four of the smaller ones, designing, should it become necessary, to return to Edo in the ensuing spring with a much larger force. Maybe they're playing good cop, bad cop.
Starting point is 00:49:33 They really are. I mean, as an opening letter to trade negotiations, there's little room for imagination there, is there? No, it's not enticing goodwill. It's really not. Look at these four massive warships. These are the smaller ones we've got. We're coming with more.
Starting point is 00:49:53 Yeah, we have much bigger at home. Yeah. Now, Japan was already nervous at this point because recently some British ships had devastated the Chinese Navy. Oh. Yeah. Japan saw that, technologically, they just weren't capable of defending against this. Japan signed the treaty.
Starting point is 00:50:13 I mean, they don't have any other choice. This is literal gunboat diplomacy. It's sign the treaty or we will invade. It's the equivalent of having a hossie with a gun to the head sign the contract. Now, I mean, this is one of Fillmore's accomplishments, which is often given as one of his plus points. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:34 Well, it was good for America. Context! Yeah. Also, it proves that the United States could now play with the big boys when it came to imperialist conquest. That's a good point. Yeah. I mean, this is literally out of Britain's playbook.
Starting point is 00:50:50 Yes. Yeah. This is why the world hated Britain and, to a large extent, still do. Can't blame them. Yeah. And this is America getting right on board with this. So there you go. Japan's open for trade.
Starting point is 00:51:06 Yay! Meanwhile, back in the United States. So that was our Japan tangent there. I hope you enjoyed that. Back in the United States. Yes, as it's known. Fillmore's dealing with a couple of other international problems.
Starting point is 00:51:20 As mentioned in Taylor's episode, some Americans, led by the Venezuelan Lopez, had illegally invaded Cuba. Taylor had died before the outcome of this happening. Lopez's invasion somewhat unsurprisingly failed miserably. But several US citizens were put in front of a Spanish firing squad and killed. Fairly obviously. Not un-given a firm tanning off.
Starting point is 00:51:47 You're standing from his farthest squad. Now, don't invade us again. And be berated. Yes. Riots broke out in New Orleans. They attacked the Spanish embassy there. Oh, really? They were not happy that Spain had dared to defend against invasion. Many southern Whigs and
Starting point is 00:52:09 Democrats were outraged at the Spanish for executing men who were literally invading their country. Some did not even bother to hide why. Senator Brown of Mississippi stated, I want Cuba and one or two of the other Mexican states, and I want them for the same reason. For the planting and spreading of slavery. What a horrible person. Yeah. It's just a case of we can expand
Starting point is 00:52:36 the slave states of the United States by getting Cuba and turning it into a state. Let's see how that goes. Well, yeah. Fillmore did what he could to get those not executed back. And when he did so, he did not push for them to be prosecuted, despite
Starting point is 00:52:52 the fact they'd broken the law. This was an illegal invasion. Yeah. But Fillmore just kind of lets it slide. It's fine. Despite this, it's not foreign affairs that's starting to dominate Fillmore's time here. Instead, it's the obvious looming problem. What's the big cloud?
Starting point is 00:53:06 Slavery. Yeah, it's all very well passing the Fugitive Slave Act. It now needs to be enforced. Problem. Consequence. Yeah. Fillmore is now running a country where a majority of the people oppose slavery,
Starting point is 00:53:21 but they are now required by federal law to uphold it. We'll see how that goes. Yeah, the Slave Act is changing the political landscape. Now, before, there were those who opposed slavery in the North, but it never really affected them. I mean, if you lived in the North, chances are you'd never see a slave in your life. There's a good chance you'd never see a black person. They're still very much a minority, especially in the North. So many in the North would oppose slavery for moral reasons. But day-to-day life, not really an issue. However, now it's far more likely, if you're in the North,
Starting point is 00:53:56 that you're going to witness firsthand some of the horrors surrounding the slave trade. And that's only going to lead to more and more people denouncing the practice. Because you could imagine, like, if you're in the north you'd never seen a slave then suddenly see slaves being like in your head like human beings being treated in such an awful way and you just can't comprehend it yeah that's a modern view but maybe you live just outside boston right um That's a modern view. Maybe you live just outside Boston. Right. And occasionally, like once or twice a year, you go into the city.
Starting point is 00:54:35 And you're there and you occasionally see some free black people walking around. You don't think much of it. Jeremy, how are you? I'm fine. How are you all? Oh, good. Cheers. All of a sudden, there are going to be members of that community that you've never really paid much attention to being carted away. It's going to suddenly have more of a visible impact.
Starting point is 00:54:51 Now, obviously, that's one example. That's an example if you happen to be a white farmer near Boston. Yeah. If you're a free black person in the North, this has a much bigger impact. You could argue that. Because you're going to know, most likely, a runaway slave or two. And they're now in danger,
Starting point is 00:55:09 because they potentially could just be snapped up and carted away. I've got a couple of examples of what happens. Shall we go through them? Yes, please. Now, in the North at this moment, you've got around 150,000 African Americans. How many?
Starting point is 00:55:24 150,000. A lot of people. Yes. Yeah, but still, certainly the minority, but a lot of people. Almost all of them were genuinely free, but a good significant minority of that 150,000 were escaped slaves. Quite a lot of them were escaped slaves from decades ago. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. You escaped in your 20s, you're now in your 50s, you've got a family. You've got a job. Yeah. Yeah. All of a sudden, men could come along at any time, drag
Starting point is 00:55:54 you away, and take you down south. I can imagine problems with that could arise. Can you? Record keeping couldn't have been that good. No. You're not going to be captured by people that know you. No. So I imagine a lot of people that were never slaves could have been captured.
Starting point is 00:56:10 Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, this isn't good. Why is it so bad? It's not good. Why is it so horrible? Well, come on, let's look at a couple of examples of what life was like. Right.
Starting point is 00:56:23 It's not long before the act claimed its first victim. A man named James Hamlet from New York had escaped years previously, now had a wife and two children. Ten days after the law came into effect, he was suddenly seized. He was taken in front of a United States district court, found to be a fugitive slave, and then whisked out of the city before his family even noticed his absence. It was quick.
Starting point is 00:56:49 He's gone. Just gone. One particularly cruel aspect of the Slave Act was that anyone accused was not allowed to speak in their own defence. Now, Hamlet claimed he was free, but officially he was not listened to. He can claim he's free all he wants. He's not allowed to say it in front of the court. Who represented them then?
Starting point is 00:57:08 Well, it depends on where you are, but hopefully you'd be able to get some kind of lawyer. If you had money. Yeah, but well, we'll get into that in just a moment. The unfairness of the act did not stop there. The men who were commissioned to oversee the cases were paid, obviously. You're making a judgment. If they decided that the person in front of them was, in fact, a misidentified free person, they were paid half of what they would have been
Starting point is 00:57:36 if they ruled that the person was a fugitive slave. You were literally paid more money if you declared the person in front of you was a slave. Now, the argument for this was there were more admin costs to cover. But this is ridiculous. You're looking stressed. It makes me angry. Yes, no, as it should do. This is awful.
Starting point is 00:58:03 Now, Hamlet, you'll be pleased to know Hamlet gets lucky. His local community found out about this. They were able to raise the $800 that it was deemed he was worth, and they were able to buy him back. $800, that's like many grand's worth now. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot of money. A few thousand people were waiting to greet him when he returned. So this story, although horrible, at least for Hamlet, ends all right.
Starting point is 00:58:30 Now, Fillmore was pleased that the Act was working, but possibly concerned of reports of resistance starting to grow. Now, if this compromise is going to work, the government needs to show that it can enforce it. The South must believe that Fillmore is capable of making sure that the Act was enforced in the North. One way the states were starting to resist was to point out that the Act enforced the federal government's responsibility to return the slaves. This is federal law. The states could not override the law within their states. So, no state involvement, said the states At least some of the northern ones
Starting point is 00:59:05 No, no state involvement at all So those states turned around and went So, no state jails to be used then And also, if we cannot get involved in the prosecution in regards to this law States cannot prosecute those aiding slaves, can we? Yeah, there was some nice loophole fighting back going on. Fillmore fumed about this. He saw this as bloody abolitionists ruining his compromise, or at least the compromise that had been built. But those in the Free States made it clear, we're not going to do anything more than absolutely necessary to aid this because this is just awful. Now we're going to use Boston in Massachusetts as a little bit of
Starting point is 00:59:50 a case and study here rather than trying to jump all around the country but let's look at two cases in Boston. So in 1851 a group of men entered a coffee house in Boston. They appeared to be customers until suddenly they jumped up and they seized a waiter. The men were federal marshals, and they claimed that the waiter, a man named Shadrach Minkins, was a fugitive slave. Now, if you were a fugitive slave who was going to be arrested, there were definitely worse places to be caught than Boston. Because Boston is the leading city for the abolitionist movement. Now, you asked earlier who would defend you. city for the abolitionist movement. Now, you asked earlier who would defend you. Well, if you're in Boston, all the big lawyers will come and defend you, because they are all big names in the
Starting point is 01:00:30 abolitionist movement. Yeah. So, fortunately for Shadrach, he suddenly had a crack legal team around him. Nice. Now, one day during the legal fight over the fate of Shadrach, a group of about 30 men suddenly burst into the courtroom. They overpowered the guards, they rescued Shadrach, and then whisked him off to Canada. He's free. So it ends well for him. Apart from that, his life has just been completely upturned. Yeah. But he's not enslaved.
Starting point is 01:00:57 Now, reports differ. It would appear that this was mainly members of the free black community who were involved. that this was mainly members of the free black community who were involved. There's some suggestion that other runaway slaves and sympathetic white men also made up a small population of the group. It's very safe to say they were a pro-abolitionist group who were doing this. But it's a rogue group of 30 men, basically. So Shadrach's soon free in Canada, safe from the persecution of the United States. However, Fillmore was once again outraged. Now, by this point, he's starting to look at the upcoming election.
Starting point is 01:01:32 Remember, he's not serving a full term. He's finishing off Taylor's. And the new election is quickly coming up. So he realises that in order to have any chance of winning this at all, he's got to be able to win over as much of the South as Taylor had done. And he's not going to be able to do that if the South thought that he could not enforce the Fugitive Slave Act. So he cracks down on this.
Starting point is 01:01:52 Yeah. Fillmore and the government decide to go after Shadrach's lawyer first. Yeah, Shadrach's lawyer was charged with helping the slave escape. Yeah. Here's a look of confusion on your face there. That was probably his reaction. Can they do that? Well, the case falls apart completely. There's just no evidence
Starting point is 01:02:13 whatsoever that Shadrach's lawyer had any knowledge that this was going to happen. So the whole thing falls apart. So with this falling apart, the actual leaders of the rescue were then targeted. A bit of time has passed and they've figured out who it is. Two men, both prominent in the black community in Boston, were found to be the ringleaders. This is James Scott and Lewis Hayden. So they were both charged with helping
Starting point is 01:02:35 to free a slave. They probably didn't word it like that, but that's what they did. Yeah, both cases resulted in hung juries. Yeah, so that didn't really go anywhere. It's probably a 12-person jury. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:52 Okay, they didn't get anywhere there. So next up, Morris. Morris was one of the attorneys for Shadrach who also had the distinction of being black. He didn't get many black attorneys back then, but Morris was one of them. The theory seemed to be he must have known something about it. After all, he's black. Yeah. This case, you'll be pleased to know, goes nowhere either. Good. Next up was one of the most prominent abolitionist
Starting point is 01:03:18 writing in Boston at the time, a man named Eliza Wright. Webster, remember the Secretary of State, the aging, sickly Secretary of State, the aging sickly Secretary of State, in particular was really angry at what he saw as the abolitionist extremists in the Whig Party just destroying everything. This is ruining our party. So he really wanted to go after the most prominent voice in Boston, which was Eliza Wright. So they do. Again, the trial goes absolutely nowhere. In the end, no one is punished for the rescue of Shadrach. Good. Yeah. That's a win in the abolitionist column. Yeah. This political turmoil was not good for Fillmore. Good. But it wasn't typical. Mostly, men and women were seized with very little trouble. They were taken to a
Starting point is 01:04:03 courthouse, they were refused permission to speak, and then they were shipped off to the South to be enslaved. It was quick, efficient. Sorry, I imagine a lot of black market, that happening as well, like people just going to the North, grabbing somebody black, taking them to the South. Oh, I didn't read any examples of that, but I mean... All this stems from 12 years a slave the film let's face it the political climate wouldn't surprise me yeah the political
Starting point is 01:04:32 climate would allow for that to happen so of course it would and you get money you get bootleggers essentially yeah people in bootlegging people yeah yeah it's not oh it's really not good anyway worried about repeats of the shadrach rescue the next man arrested in boston was a man named thomas sim he was arrested on the street the stealing a completely made-up charge just to avoid the suspicion of onlookers remember most people in boston don't like this yeah so you there you're stealing we're going to arrest you this doesn't work at all i've literally just set something up. Yeah, the crowd realise something's up.
Starting point is 01:05:08 There's scuffles with onlookers. A couple of policemen are injured before Sims can be taken away. Boston's struggle to resist the Futuristic Slave Act was now hitting national news. The New York Herald wrote, The eyes of the whole country have been riveted on Boston since the arrest of Sims No one cares about the slave As a fugitive, nor his value It's the principle involved in the case
Starting point is 01:05:32 Which made it important Whether or not the people of that city And of Massachusetts Will comply with their constitutional duties Basically We still don't care about slaves It's whether you care about following the rules or not. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:48 Now, the city marshal determined that Sims would be tried and sent on his way, and, worried about another invasion of the courts, decided to restrict who could come in and out of the courthouse. So he placed 60 policemen around the building, and, this is
Starting point is 01:06:04 the interesting bit, a literal anchoremen around the building. And this is the interesting bit. A literal anchor chain around the building. What? Yeah. He literally chained up the building. Like a big chain around the building. Why? To show that you can't just go in and out of it anymore.
Starting point is 01:06:21 You can only go in if you're on official business. You're making a point, but... I had to check this like three times because this just seems so ridiculous. What? Yeah. Sims lawyers attempted to get this case passed to state law. This is quite clever.
Starting point is 01:06:38 I like this. Sims had been arrested for theft to begin with. That's a state crime, so it needs to go to a state court. Yeah. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. No. So then they asked for more time, but it was denied. The judge claimed that Sims would have time to defend himself in Georgia, which is
Starting point is 01:06:54 obviously a nonsense. So with an escort of over 100 guards, Sims was taken to the docks, sent south and enslaved. This was a victory for the Fillmore administration. Law could be enforced in Boston, and they proved it. And if it can work in Boston, it will work everywhere.
Starting point is 01:07:12 However, there's a cost here. Tensions rose due to the increased federal enforcers in the city and the increased police presence. It felt almost like an occupied city. And then going back to this actual literal chain around the court building. I mean the imagery was not lost on many. I mean this is the so-called land of the free with chained up courts and gangs of official men enslaving other men. It's just not a good look is it? No. Yeah. It did not help also that treason trials soon start up. Yay! That didn't sound like our Roman Empire series.
Starting point is 01:07:47 Because some men refused to aid in the capture of fugitive slaves, and they were accused of treason. Yeah, the word treason trials never really have a good ring to them, do they? So if Fillmore hoped that this would be enough to win round the sovereign Whigs, he was mistaken. It came closer to nomination time, and it became clearer and clearer that he just didn't have support of the party. Still, it doesn't mean it's over.
Starting point is 01:08:07 It just means that he's going to have to fight to be nominated for the next election. One slightly odd complication was that the elderly and now very sickly Secretary of State Webster announced he was going to run. Yeah, a bit odd. I mean, Webster, as I've said,
Starting point is 01:08:22 he's a big name, almost as big as Clay, but no one really thought it was a good idea for him to go for it right now. You're way too old. Yeah. Now, despite this, Fillmore didn't object publicly to his own Secretary of State running against him. But it's a bit odd, isn't it? I mean, it's your own Secretary of State.
Starting point is 01:08:40 Probably shouldn't be running against him. However, even when you're running, you're still a working government. Yeah. You can't defile your own government, can you? Now, by early 1852, Fillmore was obviously courting support. He'd fallen into his old methods of gaining support, which was playing to people's fears over the immigrants. If you remember last week, this is Fillmore using the Catholic immigrants as a way to gain support.
Starting point is 01:09:07 Now, due to this, he was getting support from a new movement springing up in the country. Is this a Tea Party by any chance? No, it's not. This is the Native American Party. That's going to be ironic, isn't it? This is not American Indians. No. ironic isn't it this is not american indians no um this is a group of populist nativist nationalist racists basically who were outraged that immigrants would dare to come to their native land and do outrageous things like get a job and try and live yeah obviously irony sweeps over them i mean the irony bong is just just
Starting point is 01:09:45 hammering away i mean the name soon changed to just the american party yeah maybe some people realized how ridiculous that is but probably not now this starts as a secret society so when people asked about it members were told to reply, I know nothing. Now, due to this, this growing movement, or party even, was mockingly called the Know Nothing Party. And this name stuck, so to history it's now known as the Know Nothings. Nice. Anyway, despite this support, many in the Whig Party threw their weight behind the other candidate that the Whigs were thinking about, which is General Scott. Remember General Scott?
Starting point is 01:10:30 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. After all, Taylor kind of worked, so maybe grab the other general from the Mexican War. He'll do. Anyway, it's close come the convention. The first rounds of voting had Fillmore and Scott roughly on 130 each and Webster on 30 votes. Slowly but surely the tide turns. Eventually the old general wins.
Starting point is 01:10:52 The president was not chosen by his own party to run in the election. That's depressing for him. It's a bit embarrassing, isn't it? So there you go. I mean, we don't have an election to talk about because Fillmore's not even in it. He's just told, no, we don't want you next time. Good. Well, Webster died shortly afterwards.
Starting point is 01:11:14 Of course he did. Leading some historians to wonder why Fillmore didn't pressure his Secretary of State to give him his votes. Because if he'd done that, Fillmore quite likely would have won this. It was Webster running when there's no way you could ever win that kind of ruined this for Fillmore. But who knows? Ultimately, it probably didn't matter
Starting point is 01:11:33 because the Whigs were utterly destroyed in the election by the Democrats and a man named Pierce was elected. Who will he be doing next time? So anyway, Fillmore leaves the Capitol. He heads home after attending President Pierce's inaugural address. It's not going to be a good year for Fillmore.
Starting point is 01:11:49 A couple of weeks after getting home to Buffalo, his wife dies. Yeah, not great. Some speculate that it was due to complications with a cold that she caught attending the inaugural speech of Pierce. Just goes to show, those things are dangerous, those speeches.
Starting point is 01:12:06 True. Need to be careful. Wrap up. Things did not improve. Within the year, his daughter, Mary, suddenly died of cholera. Yeah, so a couple of nasty deaths close to him. After a period of grieving, and perhaps to take his mind off things, he decided to get back into politics a couple of years later. There's one real party for him now though he's not really feeling it with the wigs anymore who's he gonna go with native americans there's only one party that would
Starting point is 01:12:35 and i quote here ignore the constant and disturbing agitations of slavery yes you got it it is the know-nothing party he decides to go for. Yeah, he sent a letter for publication suggesting that immigrants were corrupting American politics. And then he goes for a trip to Europe, which is nice. Yeah, he met Queen Victoria, who proclaimed him to be the most handsomest man she had ever met. What? Yeah, it's odd. I've seen written in a couple of places that this shows that Fillmore obviously was striking in appearance. Striking isn't necessarily a good thing.
Starting point is 01:13:10 These people clearly just were ignoring evidence of their own eyes, as we will see when we come to canvasability. This is clearly Queen Victoria just being diplomatic. Yeah, you can make your own judgments when we get to that round. Then Oxford offered him an honorary doctorate of civil law. Yeah, you can make your own judgments when we get to that round. Then Oxford offered him an honorary doctorate of civil law, which he declined, pointing out that he could not read Latin and no man should accept a degree that he could not read. That's what we said.
Starting point is 01:13:37 We could not read the questions. Yeah, which, fair enough for Fillmore or there he's got a point there is however and i like there's some suggestion that the real reason why he turned it down was because it was typical for oxford students to heckle and abuse those that got on redistinctions yeah after all they're working for this and this bloody american comes over um he also meets the pope yeah which is interesting considering his anti-Catholic views. Which has led some historians to suggest he doesn't have anti-Catholic views. He just uses the anti-Catholic views of others to aid his political career.
Starting point is 01:14:18 But to be honest, I don't really see... Or he's been political. Donald Trump, he does the same thing. He'll slander somebody, then shake their hand in a meeting. see always been political he's been political it's just donald trump he does the same thing he'll slander somebody then shake their hand in a meeting it's certainly the kind of thing we have seen before in politics isn't it yeah somewhat recently yeah yeah um but i don't know is being anti-catholic and supporting anti-catholics really any different to each other it's debatable isn't it but there. Anyway, he's had a tour of Europe,
Starting point is 01:14:46 and then he goes back to the United States. Once back home, he runs for president. How does that go? Well, he's now running for the know-nothings, and he only wins one state, which is Maryland. Saying that, for a third party, in a system that's really not designed for three parties,
Starting point is 01:15:03 he's getting 21% of of the vote which is what he got yeah the that is high yeah the no nothings did disturbingly well here um but they couldn't break through the electoral college wow that's yeah that's um that's surprisingly high now some historians have tried to defend film or heading the no nothing party stating that he was out of the country when his name was put forth to run for them, and that he was not a Know-Nothing himself. But I think this... No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:15:34 No, no, no. If that was the case and you say, no, I'm not part of that party, I don't agree with their values, I'm quitting, if that was the case. Yeah, this is either willfully ignorant or ridiculously naive, in my opinion. It's a lie. Yeah, that's what it is. I mean, he clearly knew what the party stood for. Of course he did.
Starting point is 01:15:51 He was running for them, so I don't think you can distance him from the party at all. Then the Civil War hits. He runs a Dad's Army-style militia in Buffalo. Who do you think you are kidding, Mr. Lincoln? That's what he's saying. For those in America, Dad's Army is a...
Starting point is 01:16:10 A really old comedy show that probably hasn't stood the test of time. It's really good. It's from the 1970s. It's about the Home Guard in Britain during World War II. So it's all the old men who stayed behind and trained with broomsticks.
Starting point is 01:16:30 Yeah. Thinking they'd defend the country. But it's actually genuinely quite funny. Is it? I've never seen an episode. Haven't you? When I was little when it was on. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:16:39 I think you'd appreciate it a lot more now. It's genuinely quite funny. So anyway, he does that for a bit. Nice. Good man. More for show than anything. He supported the Union, but his support was lukewarm at best. He saw the war as a result of, and I quote here,
Starting point is 01:16:57 petty jealousies, partisan prejudice, and selfish ambition. Nothing to do with the fact that the country was split apart over the opinion of slavery. It was just all politicians trying to get ahead, in his opinion. He was widely regarded as a copperhead in quite a few circles. A snake? No, a northerner in support of the Confederacy. You do get the impression that if he lived in a different part of the country,
Starting point is 01:17:24 he would have very much been on board with the self he just happened to live on the canadian border so yeah um and then in 1874 he died of a stroke that's a shame and there you go that's film or let's rate this mother zero let's start with the good. Okay. Yeah. Right. He kept Hawaii independent. Okay. Which is useful.
Starting point is 01:17:49 I think only for future conquests, though. Yeah, but let's face it, that's true of pretty much all countries in all of history. Fair enough. I think keeping Hawaii independent was a good thing. Yeah, okay. Yeah. He stopped the illegal invasion of some islands in South America that several business owners wanted to go and claim and make a profit from.
Starting point is 01:18:11 He had to go against Webster to do this. Webster had actually offered naval support. Yeah. It's like, yeah, go ahead, we'll help you. Go take those islands. That sounds great. Yeah. No, Fillmore said, no, no, that's not on. These filibusting exercises are not legal, we can't do this.
Starting point is 01:18:31 So there you go, he did that. Fair enough. Fair enough, that's good. He also made it clear that the illegal Cuban invasions were not on. Should not be done. The other end country. Yeah. He also did a lot to open up trade over the pacific
Starting point is 01:18:46 which is good but for the united states let's face it uh gunboat diplomacy it's it's not great look it helped america you can say that for it uh but essentially he went over and threatened another nation to trade with them so yeah i see you've put that in the negative column. Yes. Yeah, no, it's interesting. That usually is put down as one of his pluses. It's absolutely not. Okay.
Starting point is 01:19:12 Like, if you see it from a purely... US-centric view? Yes. It's fantastic. Wow, he's amazing. He did this. That's groundbreaking. But actually, it's awful what he did.
Starting point is 01:19:24 If you actually look into it and find things out it's no better than what the british empire did but we're not rating them right now oh yeah no that wasn't the defense no oh yeah that was damnation definitely right okay um just as bad okay and then bad i mean the fugitive slave act i mean seriously this this is because even if you didn't come up come up with it that's irrelevant it's like okay if you get like an artist who paints a picture and it's a bad picture they normally stop throw away do a new one i think i'm not gonna come with that what he's done is seen an artist that started something that's really bad
Starting point is 01:20:00 i'll carry on doing that and make it even worse, you can't escape the fact that he is the one who signed it into law. Yeah. He thought that this was a good compromise to make. And no, he didn't create it. That's right. He continued it. It doesn't matter if he created it or not. I mean, in a sense, he did.
Starting point is 01:20:16 He signed it into law. Well, yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's really, really not good. No. Yeah. So, yeah. So how do we want to score here?
Starting point is 01:20:27 The most I'll give him is one. Yeah, I'm going to give him a point because he said maybe we shouldn't be illegally invading places. But that's all I'm giving him. I'm pushing it a one. Two. Disgracegate. Okay, Disgracegate. He is not a slave owner
Starting point is 01:20:45 Yeah He did not own slaves ever However Well, being president though, you could argue he owns all the slaves No, you really can't No, no However, you really lose the positives of saying I'm not a slave owner
Starting point is 01:21:01 When you are literally pushing the entire country to enslave people He was not a slave owner because of where are literally pushing the entire country to enslave people. He was not a slave owner because of where he lived. Happenstance of birth, yeah. I mean, nothing about him says he was anti-slavery whatsoever. No. Although he could have in later life moved to the south and got slaves, and he didn't. That's a low bar, isn't it?
Starting point is 01:21:23 Remember, though, the rules of our rounds here. This is his personal character. He personally did not own slaves. The Slave Act is a governmental thing. That's statesmanship. I really don't think we can hammer him too much in this round for that. We get negative points, don't we? Yeah. So zero, then.
Starting point is 01:21:39 Oh, no, don't worry. There's more. Oh, brilliant. Because what we can hammer him for is the fact that he willfully and regularly used fear of immigrants to gain political favour, openly courting racist votes. That leads to statesmanship eventually, but I mean, there's a certain personal character that you've got to have to do that. You've got to believe something to be able to do that. Yeah, he led the know-nothings into a presidential bid. An openly xenophobic party. I think
Starting point is 01:22:09 we can safely give him some points because he was quite clearly a bit racist. I'll take a few points away. More obviously against Irish Catholics than any other group. But, yeah. But, even then, I mean, there's not much you can really point to and say look this is
Starting point is 01:22:26 really bad in his personal life yeah apart from that it's pretty much squeaky clean i don't think we can give him any points for this even though you just come away feeling slightly dirty when you're researching him is that more due to the times that he's in i i i'm gonna give him three you're taking a minus three yeah i'll match that so minus six okay that's minus six so he's in i i i'm gonna give him three you're taking a minus three yeah i'll match that so minus six okay that's minus six so he's got a total out of minus four okay next it's not good is it good um okay. He starts off in a cabin, remember? Really poor. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:07 He goes into the factory with just his dictionary clutched in his hand, and he's learning his words. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Then he becomes a lawyer from pretty much nowhere. I mean, that's impressive. Then he's a politician for a bit.
Starting point is 01:23:21 Yeah. You could do a bit with the Freemasons, remember? Oh, that was vague and interesting. Maybe the background information, but carry on. Then he was the politician for a bit more. Then he became vice president. Then he became president. Then his wife and daughter died tragically,
Starting point is 01:23:37 so maybe you could get something from that. You get the drama, but there's nothing... He fell into everything. It's the most boring life story we've had so far. It's like somebody wandering through town and just randomly coming across events that happened and they get sucked into it. It's just, it's nothing.
Starting point is 01:23:53 And before I've held off the really low score, saying we're going to come across some really boring lives at some point, this is one of them. Although I will say that being born in a cabin and raising himself out of the mill to become a lawyer lawyer to go on to be president, that's impressive. That doesn't happen very often. This is a real working class boy becoming president.
Starting point is 01:24:16 In that case, I give him two. Yeah, for that start. But as soon as he becomes a lawyer, there's just not really much there, is there? No. So yeah, I'm going two as well. That pulls him back to the grand total of zero. Which means he's not going to end in minus numbers. So he's not going to be our worst.
Starting point is 01:24:35 Yeah. Yeah, right. You ready for what he looks like? Remember, Queen Victoria said the most handsome man she had ever met. Almost writing good things then. Yeah. Then that's roughly the age he would have been when he saw Queen Victoria. Do you know what, though?
Starting point is 01:24:54 He looks a little bit like the guitarist from Pink Floyd, David Gilmour. Does he? Got the lips, the eyes. Honestly, yeah. He really does. Yeah. No, he actually does. Don't get me wrong.
Starting point is 01:25:07 He's not a bad-looking man. No. But I don't see it and go, whoa. No. He's just a guy. It's neither here nor there. It was definitely Queen Victoria being polite, wasn't it? However, he's gone back to
Starting point is 01:25:25 the old uh washington style oh yeah yeah painting though the table with the pointing of a map yeah yeah he's so in a cave clearly described to the listener perhaps we should do rather than just talking about it we have film or here standing against a table with a red tablecloth in the distance you can see a cave underground rocky surface background background glow i think that rocky surface is a curtain um and i think that's a bad thing glow is outside i believe that building would be the capital building oh yeah yeah so you can see the capital building in the background so it's a cave in dc yeah caves are there in dc and he's sort of jauntily got one hand on his hip yeah and the other hand he's defiantly pointing not off off camera to say look at my donkey but he is
Starting point is 01:26:21 he is pointing at i believe that is the united states constitution with someone's face on it it's hard to tell whose face it's definitely a face it could be his face maybe he's pointing at the constitution saying look it's got my face on it maybe it's george washington i mean that's a message saying i I'm going to uphold this. If that is the Constitution, that's the message. Yeah, that is the Constitution. Oh, it says the word, yeah, I should have said. The Constitution. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 01:26:51 It's him pointing at it and saying, yeah, the Constitution. It says in here, everything I've done is right. Don't ask about whether it's morally right. It's right according to the document. It's legally right. Yeah. So, you know what? I quite like that. I do actually as well
Starting point is 01:27:07 that's the best painting we've had in a while you've got a nice background he's doing something I love the drama the jaunty hand on hip the fact he's in a cave that does not look like a curtain it's a rocky crevice
Starting point is 01:27:24 I'm going to go I've got to rocky crevice. I'm going to go... I've got to go fairly high, I think. I'm going to. So I'm going to go... I'm going for eight. Yeah, I'm going to go for eight as well. It was either eight or tall nine. Eight I'm going for.
Starting point is 01:27:36 So that is a reasonable score of four. I mean, that's all the points he's going to get. Because now we go into the bonus rounds. Yay! Bonus! Terms. None. He didn't serve a full term.
Starting point is 01:27:50 Assassinations. None. No one tried to kill him. Elections. None. He was not elected. He was an accidental president. So with no points in the bonus round, that does give us our final score.
Starting point is 01:28:03 Four. Four whole points every single point is for the fact that someone painted a decent painting one day that is that is how his presence is remembered now yeah so yeah and not as a duck not the lowest scorer though tyler came out worse yeah yeah so there you go oh no, there's one more round. Is he an American or America? American or American? No. No, it's just not.
Starting point is 01:28:31 I mean, the Civil War's coming up, and someone needs to righten the ship damn quickly, and Fillmore's clearly not the man to do it. So, sorry, Fillmore. Yeah, Fillmore, you'll not be surprised to know, quite often is rated as one of the worst presidents in history. Really? You could argue he had less time than most of the presidents.
Starting point is 01:28:49 In fact, he had probably the least time of all the presidents. Apart from those that died, yeah. Yes. Yes, but yeah, no, he is the shortest... Living. The shortest president to see out of their term so far. Yeah, definitely. So there you go.
Starting point is 01:29:03 Do you remember when I said we could do a light-hearted fun podcast on the american history yeah i'm getting more depressed with each episode to be honest it's fine we've got we've got two more and then there's a fella called lincoln that some people say is quite good link link yeah i'm guessing it's because after all the misery and spoiler warning this isn't going to stop after all the misery and spoiler warning, this isn't going to stop. After all the misery, things look a little bit nicer for a little bit of time. But who knows? We will have to see.
Starting point is 01:29:33 Right, well, thank you very much for listening. Yeah, don't forget you can follow us on Facebook and Twitter and download us from iTunes and Podbean. Yes. So we've got Pierce next week. Unknown? No, well...
Starting point is 01:29:48 For me. It's been mentioned. If you remember when we were talking to People V Potus in our interview episode, it was mentioned how good-looking he was. Oh. Yeah. Sexy president.
Starting point is 01:29:59 Sexy president. Okay. So that's what you've got to look forward to. I shall cross my legs an entire episode yeah it's debatable though let's just say I've seen the paintings and the photographs it's debatable
Starting point is 01:30:12 but we'll see you can make your judgement you can make your judgement in his episode right thank you very much for listening then and until Pierce's episode goodbye goodbye goodbye ahoy there fair sailor no one says ahoy oh I apologise
Starting point is 01:30:43 me a mere landlubber I don't know the lingo no one says ahoy. Oh, I apologise. Me, a mere landlubber, I don't know the lingo. No one says landlubber. There's no such thing. What do you want? Well, a bit of an odd one. Yes? Well, the marshal, you see, he wants to know if we can borrow your anchor chain. Our anchor chain?
Starting point is 01:31:04 Yeah, you see the big chain at the back of the ship there? The one that's holding the ship in port? He wants to know if we can borrow your anchor chain. Our anchor chain? Yeah, you see the big chain at the back of the ship there? The one that's holding the ship in port? Well, yes. It's tied to the dock. You'll be fine. Could we just borrow it for, I don't know, a week? Why? There was some trouble not long ago, you may have heard.
Starting point is 01:31:25 A fugitive slave escaped. They were taken from the courthouse, so it's been decided to wrap the courthouse in a chain. But the doors and windows... Would the slave be chained to the chain? Oh, no, no, no. That would look awful, wouldn't it, if we were chaining people? No, no, just a big chain around the building, we're thinking.
Starting point is 01:31:48 You're an idiot. Not only the practical implications of this, but the optics of it. I mean, it'd look terrible. You're literally chaining up an entire building. The court. A building that stands for hope
Starting point is 01:32:03 and freedom. Are you not worried this may slightly backfire? Um, we're hoping to wrap it around the building. Just repeating your argument doesn't make it true. I mean, it's going to damage the fascia. It will cause thousands of dollars worth of damage. And what if the chain falls? I mean, the health and safety of this is just off the charts.
Starting point is 01:32:31 You've got a point, but we couldn't really think of anything else. Have you tried locking the doors? Oh.

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