American Presidents: Totalus Rankium - 20.1 James Garfield
Episode Date: October 19, 2019Our first Viking president! it's James Garfield. He is not very well known, but perhaps he is a hidden gem. Find out how his adventures on the seven seas went, his time during the war and discover ju...st exactly why that money was 'resting' in his account.
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Welcome to Totalus Rankium. This week, James Garfield Part 1.
Hello and welcome to American Presidents Totalus and Rankium. I am Jamie.
And I am Rob, ranking all the presidents from Washington to Trump.
And this is episode 20.1. It's James Garfield.
Good name. Likes lasagna.
Yeah.
Hates dogs.
Is this a Garfield the comic strip reference?
Is it?
I love Garfield.
Oh, do you?
Garfield, obviously.
You're doing well, selling this.
Yeah.
He's so good.
I don't know Garfield.
He's an orange cat.
That's all I know.
Yeah.
With his Odie, the dog.
He's annoying.
Does he like lasagna?
Oh, he loves lasagna.
Oh, I didn't know that.
He eats lasagna.
Oh, there you go.
I used to have books just of his comic strips when I was younger.
It's great fun. It's enormous. Horrible. What? She's like the Scrappy-Doo in Scooby-Doo. Oh, there you go. I used to have books just of his comic strips when I was younger. It's great fun.
The murmur's horrible.
What?
She's like the Scrappy-Doo in Scooby-Doo.
Oh, dear.
Yeah.
Little grey annoying cat.
That's a shame.
We should do Scooby-Doo Total's ranking one day.
Just so we can spend an episode just ripping Scrappy apart.
Minus 42.
Yeah, anyway.
Slight tangent.
Slight tangent. Here we are. It james garfield as as i was saying
uh the 20th president the second one with a full beard yes oh yes spoiler for the future oh yes
uh and i'm guessing you don't know anything about him uh i know he's got a beard well there you go
that's about it yeah he's not the most well known of
presidents
but who knows
maybe another hidden gem
like Hayes
he was great
he was
he was so happy
I'm so sad he's dead
he is dead
not at the beginning
of this episode
no no
and he will be
he'll be popping up
yay
yeah don't worry
anyway
introduction though
are you ready for this
yes
okay
can I choose a colour
or are you going to give it a colour again
oh go on
you can choose the colour I like this going to give a colour again? Oh, go on. You can choose the colour.
I like this.
It's like a challenge.
Yes, it is.
No, that's too easy.
Silver flashes.
Yeah.
With elements of purple.
Okay.
Silver flashes, elements of purple.
You're not allowed to use a pen again.
I won't use a pen.
Right, okay.
So you see flashes of silver.
Yes. Flashing across the So you see flashes of silver.
Yes.
Flashing across the screen.
Everything's blurry, though.
You can't really tell what's going on.
But there's just the occasional flash.
And as you're coming into focus, you can hear hubbub.
You can hear ruckus.
Okay.
You can hear brouhaha.
Ooh.
Oh, yeah.
Good word.
Oh, yes.
It's kerfuffle. Yes. All, yeah. Good word. Oh, yes. It's kerfuffle.
Yes.
All these things are going on.
People are having words, loud words with each other.
Kerfuffle, it doesn't sound like they're positive words.
Oh, they're not.
They're not.
No.
No, no.
This is people arguing.
Lots of arguing. And the screen starts to come into focus because the silver that's flashing, you realise, is just a sort of metal clamp on a wall.
And the purple is because the screen is so blurry, it starts to separate and you start to see the red and the blue and obviously the white.
And you realise you're actually looking at the American flag that is sort of pinned on the wall or bunched up.
I don't know, I slightly admire you for that.
Or just saying that's ridiculous no it's great
it's not bad but the hobbob noise is still going on and you come into focus you can tell you inside
a big hall and there's all these american flags pinned up on the wall and then in slow motion
you just see a hat starting to spin past the screen like odd job style uh no
no more like turning topping turning okay uh spinning not frisbee style no as if it's just
been knocked off okay yeah uh then cut to another angle and it's a room full of really posh looking
men arguing with each other in slow motion. Yeah.
And then cut to
another angle. And then
you've just got like spittle coming out
of someone's mouth as they're shouting at someone
else. And then cut to someone else.
They're really red. You can see the
bulging, really close up, still
all slow motion.
Close up of someone's hand
maybe, clinching into a fist.
Yeah.
But still, everyone's very well dressed.
Okay.
Nicely suited.
Then cut to a camera angle where you can see all of this from a podium at the front of the room.
You realise you're in some kind of convention here.
And everyone's still arguing in slow motion.
and everyone's still arguing in slow motion.
Yeah.
And then coming into shot just from the left is a blurry figure
and takes two steps towards the podium
that's in front of you.
And you just hear in slow motion
a clearing of the throat.
Cough, cough, cough.
Maybe slightly less...
Cough, cough.
Yeah, there we go.
That's better.
Less ill, more commanding.
But that would sound like...
If it's sped up to normal speed.
And then at that point, all of a sudden...
And everyone speeds up to normal speed,
but everyone just kind of pauses halfway through their argument
and turns to the stage.
One guy's just holding another guy by the throat with fists in the air.
Yeah.
They both turn and look.
Yeah.
Cut to black. James Gar that kind of look. Yeah. Yeah. Cut to black.
James Garfield, part one.
Nice.
Okay, so there we go.
Very nice.
Does that link to the photograph you put on social media?
Oh, if you've seen the photograph,
you can imagine what room I'm talking about exactly.
Yeah, that was a very impressive photograph.
Oh, it's a very good photograph.
Didn't look that angry, though.
No, I'm guessing that was before or after the argument had started.
Okay, nice.
But yeah, we'll get to that photograph, but we will post it on social media when this episode's released again.
And if you're listening way into the future, just look for the 1880 Republican National Convention.
There's a photo of it.
Okay, let's go through his life.
We start in orange.
Do you know what?
I was thinking that colour for next week.
I was like, name a colour.
What's the most awkward one?
Orange.
Yeah, that'll do.
Well, I obviously am not talking about the colour nor the fruit,
but instead the frontier village in Ohio.
Ah.
Yeah.
Does that come from l'orange?
Possibly, or maybe.
This is America, and they are great at naming things.
Maybe someone just saw an orange one day and went, let's name this place orange.
Do oranges originally green?
They were bred to be orange coloured.
Are they?
I didn't know that.
I did know that the colour orange is named after the fruit and not the other way around.
That's weird.
Yeah, that's weird, isn't it?
See, oranges are there, aren't they?
Oranges slash ranking.
Yes, let's do that.
Right, the year is 1831.
Now, just to let you know here,
we're still in the age where biographies are written about presidential candidates
to allow the electorate to get to know the nominee.
Right.
I've discussed a couple of these before,
but you just had published a biography on the nominee.
Yeah.
And people go out and read them.
It's essentially propaganda. Yeah. It's a very on the nominee. Yeah. And people go out and read them. It's essentially propaganda.
Yeah.
It's a very heavily biased biography.
And there's one written about Garfield
that I have quoted from a bit this episode,
just because it's fantastic.
But it is also nonsense.
But I was enjoying it, so I rolled with it.
Born with a six-pack.
Not quite, but you're not far off.
Right. So anyway, I'll let you know when i'm using that but just just know that's coming up right really abram and eliza
garfield have just given birth to a boy or rather eliza has i was gonna say both of them abram was
uh involved at some point i assume uh but certainly not the birth part. Anyway, this was the youngest of four children.
And they lived in a log cabin on a small farm.
So we're not talking rich here.
Yeah.
Abram and Eliza had known each other since childhood.
In fact, Abram knew Eliza's sister even more than Eliza.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Yep.
Yeah.
Because the families, like, lived close to each other.
But then, Eliza's family and her sister moved away.
And apparently, as soon as Abram was able to,
he moved west to look for his childhood sweetheart.
So Eliza's sister clearly made an impression on him.
Yeah.
Anyway, he arrived and found his childhood sweetheart,
only to find that she
was now married. That's a bit crushing.
Bit crushing, but, silver
lining, she does have a younger sister.
Hey, upgrade.
Yeah, which is what he said.
Yeah. He shouldn't have said that. No, he shouldn't have said that.
No, but anyway, you all do.
Also, here's maybe what
he said. It's not your typical romance
story, but, I mean, you had to be pragmatic back in those days.
Yeah, so there you go.
Abram and Eliza got together.
They got married before they were both 20.
Now, Abram was said to be a bull of a man.
He was.
Big, burly, beefy.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yeah, a fantastic wrestler.
And he worked on the canals being built in the region.
So you'd have to be quite hefty to pick up the water.
Yes, which is, well, you've got to get the water in the canal.
Well, yeah, of course.
Yeah, so, yeah, it's tricky.
So the two of them have a boy.
Where does the water start off in a canal?
Where's the source of a canal water?
Don't know, where have you?
I mean, I'm guessing these canals would have been the Great Lakes.
And they just bricked up bits
going off to the right and the left
towards cities and stuff to make transport.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry, carry on.
Can't say I've ever thought about it
in that much detail.
No, me neither.
But a river, maybe.
All right.
Yeah.
Continue.
Okay.
So anyway, these two, they have children,
several children.
The fourth one, like I say,
was James, who apparently was a large baby.
Oh, yes.
Eliza later in life said he was the largest baby she ever had.
Takes after his father.
However, it was not long before tragedy struck.
Father died.
Well, that biography I just mentioned a moment ago.
Yeah.
I'm going to give you a taste.
Oh, go on.
Oh, yeah.
This is a man named Bundy who wrote this.
That was Australian.
Maybe he was.
Yes, this is The Life of James Garfield.
But when the bright young boy, being James, was but 18 months old,
this little home of happy labour and hope was darkened by a sudden, unexpected,
and in fact needless calamity which seemed to cloud
all his future. A fire broke out in the woods, which was approaching Abram Garfield's clearing
near the wheat. With all his tremendous physical energy, he fought the fire all day long, by
ditching, clearing away the leaves and other methods, by doing the work of ten ordinary men,
he saved his crop and he diverted the fire.
He came in at night, heated and exhausted,
and got suddenly chilled.
For a day or two, he suffered intensely.
When a quack doctor came along and said,
You're in danger, Garfield,
and put a blister around his throat,
which drew away every particle of inflammation in his body into Garfield's throat,
and the glorious man choked to death at 33,
in the fullness of his magnificent strength.
He had fought the fire like a viking,
and he died like one.
Immediately before his death, he got up.
He walked across the room.
He looked out at the oxen, and he called them by name.
When he went back, he sat down on the bed and said,
Eliza, I have brought you four young saplings into these woods.
Take care of them.
four young saplings into these woods,
take care of them.
And then he died,
sitting up against the head of his bed.
That is the sort of stock that James Garfield comes from.
Oh, for goodness sake.
Who the hell's that?
It's brilliant, that's what that is.
That's history. I mean, if anyone listens to this also listens to saga thing apart from the obvious reference to vikings uh which is interesting that
is the first time we've had a viking reference rather than a classical reference as a something
to aspire to be like more i'd be rugged i guess But also, there are a couple of motifs in here
that John and Andy talk about in Saga,
I think, quite a bit about Saga literature.
And it's also quite metaphorical.
What's the bit where he goes and calls out his oxen by name?
Jeff!
Eliza!
Well, he then comes and talks about his four saplings
that he's brought into the world.
So we're talking about his children, but I mean...
I thought he meant trees and the wood.
I missed that metaphor.
Way over my head.
Well, the oxen, a metaphor for his children as well.
I mean, it just gets a bit figurative.
Yeah.
And then he just dies sitting up.
I quite liked it.
I've not read anything quite like this before in regards to the
presidents. Yeah, a
Roman thing, perfect. Oh yeah.
But it's ridiculous.
This is the age of science, for goodness sake.
They're just covered in oxygen by this point.
You will be perhaps
disappointed to know that Abraham
died of pneumonia.
Oh, okay.
As far as we can tell, nothing to do with this fire
that he fought back for a day
and then he died. Just punching the flames.
No. Like a
viking. No, apparently it didn't happen.
Okay. However, it is actually more tragic
because it would seem that this happened
in 1833
when James was two years old and this
illness swept through the area
killing Abraham but also three other children.
So this just guts the family completely.
His children?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, so you've got James, and it was hard to tell
because the details aren't very clear.
At least I couldn't find it, but I'm fairly sure
there was at least two other children by this point.
So it's more than a couple of children.
He was the fourth, wasn't he, he said, when he was born.
Yeah, but this is now a couple of years later.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Infant mortality.
Yeah, so, yeah, there we go.
Tragic start.
But he does have a Viking dad.
That's cool.
That's cool.
So, as you can imagine, Garfield grew up very close to his mother.
Yeah. Yes, he grew up very close to his mother. Yeah.
Yes, he grew up to be a strapping young lad.
Good band.
Yeah, and learned how to help around the house.
Yeah.
Like you would.
He was sent to a local school where he learned the basics.
He soon found a love of reading and read Robinson Crusoe and various history books about the history of the United States.
I can't get on with Robinson Crusoe.
Can you not?
No, it's not a book I love.
What about American history?
Nah, it's boring.
Nah, okay.
You wouldn't have been friends with Garfield then?
I'd be friends with him.
I mean, you know, we have different interests, but I still appreciate you.
Oh, thank you, Jamie.
That's really nice to say.
Good.
I'm just going to leave the awkward pause in.
What, so I don't return the compliment.
Sorry.
According to the unreliable biography, Bundy's one,
he was obsessed with battle facts
and was able to quote the losses and gains
with most of the recorded battles in the Revolutionary War,
which does sound like a believable thing
for a young boy to become obsessed with.
He was apparently quite clumsy, though.
According to one story, which unfortunately I couldn't find any more
details about, while he was learning to use
an axe, he nearly killed his cousin
Silas.
So I can only assume he
was swinging it about a bit too enthusiastically.
He's no Abraham Lincoln then, is he?
No. So as James
grew, he read more and more.
Especially stories. He really enjoyed
stories of sailors going on nautical adventures. He liked the sound of that and he looked around
at his little farm that he was growing up on and just became more dissatisfied at what fates seemed
to have doubt him. Oh you just sort of like they'll make little paper boats and put them in puddles.
Yeah exactly. She wasdles. Yeah, exactly.
Then it would fall down a drain.
Then a clown face would pop up.
Yes, all that happened.
Red balloon. Scary.
Well, when he was avoiding the clown
he really wanted
to be a sailor. So much so
that he decided he was
going to tell his mother he was going to
run off and become a sailor.
Humming that all the way, yeah.
Yeah, big grin on his face.
Yeah.
And that's actually what he did.
I mean, his mother tried to stop him.
Yeah.
But, I mean, it was in his blood.
His Viking blood, clearly.
Yes.
Yes.
He wanted to go raiding.
Yes.
You could hear it calling him somehow yeah what was
what a pillage yeah so yeah he was 16 and he just walked out fair enough off he goes to find his life
on the ocean waves to get into a boat or well he heads to the nearest largest body of water to him
lake erie one of the great lakes. However, if James pictured nautical
adventures, swashbuckling, rigging being spliced and all that stuff...
It's harder than a lake.
Well, yeah, he was going to be disappointed, I'm afraid to say. He reached the harbour
and the only work he could find that was even remotely linked to being a sailor.
Let's face it, he wanted to be a pirate.
It never says that, but that's what he wanted to be.
And the only thing he could find that's close to being a pirate
was working on the canal boats.
Oh.
Yeah.
Now, Bundy, the biographer, claims that this was because
after striding manfully towards the harbour,
he was so disappointed that the only sailors he could find were drunks.
And he wasn't going to lower himself.
Absolutely not.
Obviously not, no.
But no, in real life, I mean, there just wasn't that work available.
It's like you can help pull a barge down a canal.
That's about all we've got.
So that's what he goes for.
Canals crisscross the country at this point.
Now, I think depending where you're from, you might have different that's what he goes for. Canals criss-cross the country at this point. Now, I think depending where
you're from, you might have different
images of what a canal is.
I imagine Birmingham canals.
Well, yeah. I mean, we, growing
up in England, we have an extensive
canal system going through England. It's very
hard to move very far without
coming across a canal. I fell into one once.
Oh, did you? No, not really.
That wouldn't surprise me it's
the kind of thing you do when you're young you go and play around the canal and occasionally
fish for trolleys yes yeah well canals in this country nowadays are just either really idyllic
tourist spots or just urban hell holes uh pretty much yeah that's true doesn't seem to be anywhere
in between the two no see exeter's lovely they's lovely. They've got a lovely end of it.
It's like the ending of a canal.
Oh, yeah.
It's absolutely just Bristol.
It's amazing.
Beautiful.
The canal that literally goes by my house.
Not nice.
No.
No.
But in this country, it's very much brick-lined.
Yeah.
And very neat.
Whereas back at this time, the canals were still fairly new,
and they were being built.
There were more muddy
ditches filled with water they were just man-made rivers uh less really organized perfectly i mean
obviously they you still got your lock systems uh but they certainly weren't all brick lined
so garfield starts working on these barges now these barges were powered by oxen, mostly, or other animals that can pull things.
Pulling at the side of the...
Yeah, stand at the side and pull slowly along.
If you were a crew member, you'd be steering.
If you were, like, top dog, that's a good job that was.
Or maybe you were at the side driving the oxen.
Or maybe you were on the side of the barge just checking for obstacles.
Yeah.
Or, yeah, or maybe you're swimming behind picking up all the stuff that's fallen off. Wonderful. I've made that one up, but it probably existed. It probably did. Yeah. Or, yeah, or maybe you're swimming behind picking up all the stuff that's fallen off.
Wonderful.
I've made that one up, but it probably existed.
Probably did.
Yeah.
Garfield recalled later in life
that he fell in at least 14 times.
And he couldn't swim.
And apparently he nearly drowned
every single time he fell in.
Wonderful.
It was not the easiest of jobs.
And if the water didn't kill him,
the mosquitoes and the malaria possibly would.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, because the canals were not the most hygienic of places.
No.
And if that didn't get him,
the general rough and ready life and hard toil would get to him.
In fact, I'll quote Bundy again. Not through any fault of his own,
he had several fights
and invariably came off better than the antagonist.
So, not his fault, he thought.
No, absolutely not.
But when he does fight, he kicks ass.
When he hits that guy from behind, he always wins.
Yes.
I couldn't find any actual evidence of him getting into fights at this time.
But, I mean, you're going to. I couldn't find any actual evidence of him getting into fights at this time.
But, I mean, you're going to.
You're a 17-year-old kid, rough and ready lifestyle of pulling the barges down the canals.
Yeah, not an easy life. Yeah, one thing leads to another.
Your canal boat is rubbish, mate.
Yeah, exactly.
I love you.
Well, one's longer than yours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Got more girth.
Punch.
Yeah. Yeah. Got more girth. Punch. Yeah.
Anyway, after about a year,
eventually one of these things caught up with him,
and it was malaria.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
Oh.
The biggest killer in the world.
Well, he managed to make it home just about,
but he was in a bad way once he did.
He was nursed to health very slowly by a relieved mother.
Yeah. As in his health was restored slowly.
His mother wasn't nursing him slowly.
As far as I'm aware.
Eliza was able to persuade a recovering
son that perhaps more education
was what was needed if he
didn't want to end up on the canals again.
So it wasn't a waste, this.
This gave Garfield the push he needed.
Sort yourself out, otherwise that is your life.
However, Eliza said, if you're still set on being a sailor,
if that's where your heart lies,
if the waves are calling your Nordic blood,
then why not get educated for a year whilst you recover folly?
And then by all means go, you'll have my blessing.
Nice, because she knows, oh, you're going to end up with love learning. whilst you recover folly. And then by all means go. You'll have my blessing. Nice.
Because she knows, oh, you're going to end up with love learning.
And you'll obviously become a lawyer like everyone else bloody does in this podcast.
Well, I'll quote Bundy yet again.
She knew how to guide her young Viking without showing her purpose.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so there you go.
That was the last reference to Vikings I found in Bundy.
That's a shame.
But it's like, I quite quite like it we've got a
viking president we'll crow a few more in oh yeah anyway he attended a nearby academy in chester
he studied grammar and mathematics and uh while term was out he worked on farms and worked at
the carpenters for a while just doing the basics just to make some money. When he wasn't working or studying, he was getting to know a fellow student.
Ooh. Oh yes.
A young lady named
Lucretia. Ooh. I like
the name Lucretia. Lucretia. Yeah.
Sounds like the name of a bad character in a
Disney film. It just reminds me of the Borgias.
I've seen it. There was a
Lucretia Borgia was a person.
Yeah. When we finish
the Romans, we'll be almost at the time period of the Borgias.
Okay.
Yeah, we will.
But we don't really have an excuse to go over there.
Pontifax will, though, because one was a pope.
There you go.
So we'll wait for Pontifax.
Anyway, we're getting very sidetracked again.
So anyway, Lucretia was a young lady who was also studying at the time.
And the two of them got on well.
Did they? Oh, yes. We don't know how well at this time but um i'm guessing one or two games of ludo were played oh yeah saucy
oh yes particularly exciting when you go up the garden path part oh yeah yeah yeah slow down honey
anyway he's he's getting to know lucretia he is studying he's working part-time jobs
oh fairly standard stuff then he attended hiram institute uh a a not quite a college because it
doesn't have college status at this point uh but it's where people in the local area would go to
get a higher education yeah he was able to get in by working as a janitor there to begin with.
But he soon mastered Greek and Latin,
reading Herodotus and Homer and Livy and Tacitus.
So, yeah, he soon made a mark,
and people realised he was pretty damn bright.
He knows what he's doing.
He can learn well.
And he's so big.
He's big, and he's got an axe
and uh
yeah
really bad with it
yes
tries to write with it
doesn't help
but it's got lots of
really fancy
cool looking runes on it
so
oh well
it's good
yeah
in fact he was doing so well
at Hiram Institute
that uh
he soon
was teaching other pupils
the basics
oh wow
including
one pupil
recently enrolled Lucretia.
Handy.
Lots of extracurricular lessons, I'm sure.
Lots of oral skills with the pronunciations.
Oh, yes, definitely.
Anyway, those around him noticed that he would become fixated on things.
He would work at something until they were done and finished,
or until something else caught his attention.
But he was very much a fixate on one thing at a time.
Right.
And just do it.
Yeah.
You're still thinking of Lucrezia, aren't you?
No, I'm thinking of you.
Oh, right, me.
Yeah, no, that is a bit like me, isn't it?
One area that he was not too keen on, apparently, at this time was politics.
Because we're in 1852,
and things were tense in the country,
and Garfield was already sick of all the
political fighting. He was far more
interested in learning things.
The Hiram Institute, as I said,
however, was not a college. It would be
over a decade until it became one. So,
to get a degree, it would have to finish
somewhere else. So he decided
to go to Williams College in Massachusetts.
Oh, that's far away from Lucretia.
Oh, we'll get to that.
Once there, he studied astronomy, chemistry, German, more Greek and Latin, mechanics, political economy.
This is quite advanced stuff now.
He's a bit of a polymath, isn't he?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He apparently was very, very good.
You have to be to start off from poor humble beginnings yes uh you've got to be really good to be getting this far yeah so
what had started to make james stand out more than anything was not his size his it was actually his
ability to speak he became a very good orator uh he he was able to get to the nub of an argument
and eloquently debate it.
In fact, I'll quote a classmate here,
undoubtedly one of the greatest
natural debaters ever seen
at Williams. You're smacking.
It's good to hear he was fantastic
at debating. A master at it. A master.
Yeah. Anyway, despite his
We're 12.
It's a serious podcast, Jeremy.
Sorry.
Now, despite his recent disinterest in politics,
Garfield found it impossible not to be drawn in.
Now he was at Williams.
It's what everyone was talking about.
And in Massachusetts, he found a home with the abolitionist movement.
He attacked using written articles in magazines and also the power of poetry, the Know-Nothing movement.
He didn't like the Know-Nothings, a bunch of bigoted racists.
Yeah.
Yes.
And he wrote some cutting poems about them, apparently.
And yes, I did look for them and no, I couldn't find them.
Ah.
Which is a shame.
Roses are red, violets are blue. you know nothing and smell of poo yes yeah it was that yeah uh he found that
the new republican party that was springing up to his liking so they were saying the kind of
things he was agreeing with he even get this at point, this is how radical his thinking was, suggested that perhaps, maybe, just maybe,
women were being wronged socially and intellectually.
Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness.
There we go.
That's quite early on, actually, to be knowing that, isn't it, I guess.
We're not too far away now.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, we're only, what, 60 years from suffrage, I guess, aren't we?
Yeah, we're starting to get to the generation that eventually will make things happen.
Yeah.
But, yeah, we're starting to see the beginnings of people going, hang on, maybe this half of the population have something to say.
But, yeah.
And Garfield was one of them.
But, yeah.
And Garfield was one of them.
On the subject of women, he also met a young one named Rancy,
which was short for Rebecca, apparently.
Not a good shortening for Rebecca.
My wife's called Rebecca.
Yeah, start calling her Rancy.
It's wild, isn't it? Yeah.
Details are slim, but it appears that they got to know each other fairly well.
Did they?
Yeah, I mean...
I bet it's all his debating skills.
Yeah.
Again, we don't really know the details, but
apparently they got to know each other well enough
that when Lucretia came to visit
for Garfield's graduation,
she found out words were
had, and the relationship
looked like it was going to fall apart.
Oh. Yeah. Anyway, Garfield
did indeed graduate.
Somewhat awkwardly, I can imagine,
with a very angry-looking Lucretia in the crowd.
But he did get pretty much the highest honours that you could get.
He did very well.
And then he returned back home.
He quickly got a job teaching at his old school, the Hiram Institute.
In fact, he did so well there that within a year, he was president of the institution.
Wow.
Yeah.
He was doing all right.
That's like going from NQT to head teacher in a year.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, cool.
He does all right.
He does.
However, he soon became restless.
He wrote to a friend,
You and I know that teaching is not the work in which a man can live and grow.
Can't argue with that.
Wise words have never been written.
Yeah.
Yeah.
After ten years, I still feel like a husk.
Yes, it's a shame.
Garfield was wise enough to get out early on.
Early on, definitely.
Ten years.
Yeah, sure enough, he decided to get into politics instead.
And he did what everyone else does in this podcast.
You're absolutely right.
He read law and he passed the buck.
Of course he did.
Yes.
With very little trouble whatsoever.
Now, the whole bloody Kansas thing was going on at the time.
And Garfield soon made a name for himself in the Republican Party
for his speeches against slavery.
His ability to move crowds impressed the party members enough.
Well, he's very strong.
Yes, that's a good point.
And that impressed the party enough that in 1859,
he became the youngest Ohio State member in history.
In fact, I will quote here,
the young senator stepped at once from comparative obscurity
into genuine popularity as a political speaker.
So things are just going well. It was
noted that he was fantastic at remembering minute details of legislation, as well as his ability to
express his opinions of them. He also gained a reputation for using, and get this, statistics
in speeches to back up his arguments. I mean, facts. Figures, facts. Oh my goodness. Yeah,
you probably won't be shocked
to learn. It took him less than two years
for him to become one of the most prominent
politicians in Ohio. He's just
going from one strength to another, basically.
He's doing well. But that's not all that's going on.
Because once Garfield had returned,
he had managed to smooth things over
with Lucretia. Oh, that's good.
Yeah. I'm so sorry.
I'm really, really sorry. We didn't do...
We played one game
of Ludo, but we just went round the board.
We didn't even go up the garden path. No.
Not once. No. Just round.
Round the edge. That's all we did.
Yeah. It was not long before him
and Lucretia married.
And soon after, they had a daughter,
Eliza. After his mummy.
After his mum. Isn't that nice?
But if things were going well personally for Garfield, the country was not in the same state.
No.
Because Lincoln had recently been elected for president, and the country tore itself apart.
Fun.
Now, Garfield had been politically attempting to keep the country together.
He was doing his little bit.
He went to Louisville to talk to delegates
from Kentucky and Tennessee to try and convince them
that the country did not need to go to civil war.
But by the time Lincoln took the presidency,
the civil war was inevitable, as we have seen.
And when Sumter fell, Garfield was grimly happy.
Yes.
I'm glad we're defeated at Sumter.
It will rouse the people
he wants to go and win his fame and glory
in battle
oh dear, really?
yeah
he wants to fight?
oh yes
but he's quite big isn't he?
Viking blood
I mean Thor is calling for him
yeah
he shall either die in Valhalla
or not
yeah exactly
there's only one way to get to Valhalla
and it's not going to happen whilst reading law.
Anyway, Garfield became a fervent supporter of the war,
voting to imprison anyone who had committed treason for life.
Wow.
Yeah.
And publicly announcing that Ohio would provide
over a quarter of all the volunteers that Lincoln had called for.
So, yeah, going above and beyond. Like many,
Garfield anticipated
a short and bloody war.
It would be fiercely fought, but
it'll all be over before Christmas, surely.
It always is. It always is.
Yes. After
all, the North really can't lose this.
No. No. They've got the men,
they've got the infrastructure, they've got the
money. We'll win this.
Easy.
Easy peasy.
Before long, Garfield was looking to help out personally in the war.
Friends of his started talking about him having a brigadier generalship.
Obviously based on all that knowing the right people experience that he had.
Yeah.
Very important to have that kind of experience.
Yeah, definitely.
Especially in war. Oh, definitely,
yeah. Some criticised the move.
One paper at the time pointed out
that this young politician, Garfield,
had no experience whatsoever
and was clearly using
this to further his own political career.
He read some Sue. I mean, that'll do,
right? Well,
that is exactly the kind of thing he did, yeah.
As we will get into um yeah now garfield
uh to be fair he was sensible of how this looked himself uh and in the end offered his service
as a lieutenant colonel a couple of grades down from brigadier general uh and more importantly
this was a field command actually be leading some troops on the field uh and, this was a field command. So he'd actually be leading some troops on the field.
And apparently this was a much more suitable position
for someone with Garfield's level of knowing the right people experience.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's just about right.
He'd have to sort of earn his way up a little bit.
Yeah, a small amount.
You'll be glad to know he immediately did enough
to get promoted to Colonel.
He turned up and signed up.
Exactly.
I mean, it's...
Well done, sir.
Here I'm promoted.
It's not easy, that turning up and actually being there.
And he knocked that out of the park, he did.
So there you go.
Then he turned around and shook the hand of the General.
Well done, I'm promoted to use a Brigadier General.
It takes a bit longer for the next promotion,
but we're not too far off.
Yeah, so he's now colonel.
He's given the 42nd Ohio Volunteers
a unit that didn't exist.
It was a case of, right, you're in charge of this unit.
Go and find it.
Ah, not like, here's your army, sir.
Empty field.
Now fill it.
Yeah, was essentially the message.
So he went around recruiting,
and obviously, as a teacher,
at least a recent teacher of Hiram Institute,
he was able to just round up most of his ex-pupils.
I don't want to go, sir.
Toph, is this all detention?
Oh, fine.
Pretty much, I'd like to think.
So, after four months of drilling, the unit moved out, ending up in Kentucky.
So, a bit south.
According to Bundy, again, the biography,
he took his well-drilled regiment to the front.
In the short time allowed him, he had gained as much military knowledge
as most of our volunteer colonels would have been able to acquire in years.
His success was as marvellous as it was natural.
Oh, for goodness sake.
I know.
I'm just getting annoyed by this now.
Oh, I loved reading that biography to the point where it's like, oh, we should stop trying to do real history and just do the histories based on these because they're so much fun.
Propaganda history.
Yes.
Well, in reality, this group and their leader was about as well prepared for the war as you can imagine.
Yeah.
None of them knew what they were doing.
No.
They had some vague idea.
They now knew roughly how to march in a line.
Most of them could pick up their rifles within five attempts.
Yeah. Good.
Yeah, it was fine.
Progress.
Yeah, some of them even like the right way up
and everything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Everyone's a bit green,
but so's everyone pretty much.
Yeah.
So maybe it'll be all right.
So he was given the job of clearing out
the Confederate forces from eastern Kentucky.
He was given a few more men to do so, but not much else.
No clear directions, just sort of...
Sort it out.
Yeah.
Open-ended challenge.
Exactly.
We know there are Confederate troops in the area.
Deal with that, what you got, Field.
Do what you can.
So he sets off in mid-December, advancing through Big Sandy River Valley.
That's right.
There is a river called Big Sandy River.
Oh, for goodness sake.
They're so good at naming things.
They really are.
What on earth?
I just wanted to be there when they first came up with that one.
So this river's pretty big.
Then one of them just puts her hand in the water and lifts it up,
runs some sand through their fingers.
Sandy.
How about Destiny Lake?
I love it yeah um well this this
amazingly named river uh forms the border between kentucky and the newly made west virginia and is
just south of ohio so that's the region we're in okay now after a couple of weeks garfield came
across a confederate force roughly the same size as his own about 2,000
men I've got Skippy on my head now oh yeah get Skippy far far away but we are not going to be
seeing Skippy here we're not seeing the numbers or or the skill yeah um I mean to be fair in fact
I'll go into it uh yeah the Confederate forces were being led by a man named Humphrey Marshall,
who was, according to Bundy, obese but able.
Which was a lovely way to describe someone from Bundy there.
Well done.
Anyway, Garfield was able to position his troops as to appear larger in numbers than they actually were.
Get the other side drunk, because I'll be seeing double.
Yeah.
Or just get everyone to get their spare clothes out,
stuff it with straw,
and carry it around with them.
Yeah, yes.
That would work.
Yeah.
Well, a nervous Marshall decided to withdraw rather than fight.
These guys are crazy.
They're stuffing their own clothes with straw.
Don't want to mess with them.
However, whilst the withdrawal was happening,
Garfield attacked.
However, the Marshall land that happening, Garfield attacked. However, the
marshland that was around slowed everything down, giving Marshall a chance to regroup. Garfield
attacked just after noon. It was a drawn-out battle, but once some reinforcements arrived,
the Confederate forces drew back. Garfield had won the Battle of Middle Creek, his only failed
command, but not his only battle he saw. Now, in the grand scheme
of things, in the Civil War, this
is a minor affair, but try telling
that to the nearly hundred people
seriously wounded or killed.
I doubt they cared that this turns out
to be a minor battle. Nope.
Equally, at home in Ohio,
the press sang Garfield's praises.
And again, Garfield's friends
and supporters went on the offensive,
calling for the governor of Ohio to give Garfield a battlefield promotion.
Sure enough, he becomes a brigadier general.
That was fast.
That was fast.
At the age of 30.
He was put in charge of the forces in East Kentucky
and put under the command of a man named Buell.
Now, Buell was soon ordered to go and
reinforce Major Grant in Tennessee. So Garfield was soon on the move. However, they soon heard
that Grant was in trouble and had been attacked by a very large force. Now we have covered this
before in Grant's episode. Yeah. But there were quite a few battles and this was a while ago,
so I'll forgive you if you've forgotten. Now this is the battle of shiloh now in grant's episode uh if you remember he was away from the camp um and he
jumped on the boat to try and get back there there was lots of fighting but there were reinforcements
on the way so all he had to do was survive uh until the reinforcements arrived well garfield's
in those reinforcements okay yeah so they're trying to get there as quickly as possible uh
he and his men arrive in time for the second and final day of the battle,
which was, as we have seen, one of the bloodiest of the war.
Yeah.
In fact, in terms of casualties, the sixth bloodiest in the war.
Now, the Union won just about, but it was at a terrible cost.
In fact, I will quote Garfield here.
The horrible sights that I have witnessed on this field I can never describe.
No blaze of glory
that flashes around the magnificent triumphs of war can ever atone for the unwritten and unutterable
horrors of this scene not fun no no you get the sense that this takes the gloss off things for
garfield before it was small skirmishes and fun war yes an adventure and yes some people died but it was
yeah whereas this was slaughter um this is real yeah and you really get the sense that he's had
enough after this yeah understandably now not long after this battle he also becomes ill dysentery
hemorrhoids and jaundiceice. Oh my goodness. Yeah.
Jaundice?
Yeah, the other illnesses caused him to become jaundice.
Yeah.
He's not in a good way.
So he was given leave, and he headed painfully back home.
No one wants hemorrhoids and dysentery at the same time.
Especially not riding a horse.
No, definitely not.
Maybe it was the horrors of war, because that would be understandable.
Maybe it was the illness, also understandable.
But Garfield started to think about maybe getting out of the army.
In fact, I'll quote,
There will spring up out of this war a score of new questions and new dangers.
The settlement of these will be of even more vital importance than the ending of the war.
I do not hesitate to tell you that I believe I could do some service in Congress in that work
and should prefer it to continuing in the army.
Fair.
So he decides to run for Congress, knowing that if he did win,
due to the way things were in Congress at this time,
he would actually have over a year before his seat had to be taken.
So he could run for the election, get it, then...
Chill out.
Well, no, then he could go back into the army, serve out his time,
but then he could go to Congress.
Like an honourable discharge, in a way.
Yeah, exactly.
He sees this as an honourable way out.
Sure enough, he gets the vote.
He is of a popular man back home.
He is voted into the House of Representatives.
Soon enough, he gets a letter
from the War Secretary,
Edwin Stanton, whose
name now means a lot more to me
since I've listened to 1865.
I've now got the voice in everything.
Now he was better,
said Stanton, roughly, I'm paraphrasing,
it's time for you to get back in the
fight. So report to Washington.
If I'd read that before, I would have just thought that was just a standard letter.
But now I get the feeling that Stanton was just really annoyed.
Yeah.
Get back, all right?
You've had enough.
So Garfield heads to the capital.
It was here that he made a very important friendship.
Because through just generally meeting people and hobnobbing,
he met the Secretary of the Treasury,
the aristocratic Salmon Chase.
Chase was a man of means
and a man with a good reputation
and obviously a member of the cabinet.
He took a liking to this young general
and invited him to stay with him during his stay.
Fairly common back then, as we have seen.
And yeah, Garfield got on with the older man pretty well, and a whole sort of faber-figure
mentor kind of thing springs up between the two of them. Like Obi-Wan and Luke Skywalker. Exactly
like that, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. So that's pretty good. Also, Chase was not the only friend he made
at this time, because he soon was introduced to the 18-year-old Lucia Gilbert Calhoun.
No relation, as far as I can tell, to Calhoun.
Very little is known about her, apart from the fact she wrote some essays
about the structural sexism of the time,
with the title Modern Women and What Is Said of Them.
Interesting.
Yeah.
So, again, you get the sense that garfield was very much talking to people about these kind of ideas of women just
not being pooed upon from a great height and yeah this young lady with lots of ideas seemed to
impress him quite a lot they play ludo oh they they cracked out all manner of ludo boards they did yeah i mean they were playing with
two dice wow yeah and not just six-sided ones did he show her his his debating skills probably
probably showed her that so as you can imagine garfield was having a great time in washington
he now had an elder friend slash father figure in chase who personally knew the president and was in the cabinet,
taking him around Washington
and just introducing him to the bigwigs of today.
And while he wasn't doing that,
he was playing furious games of Ludo with his mistress.
So that was life for him for a few months.
His political views hardened also.
He became more of a war hawk.
He wasn't happy with how timid Lincoln was being.
He was convinced that the war would never be won
until more radical Republicans took charge.
Then when Union forces lost at Fredericksburg,
Garfield was not happy at all.
He had become convinced at this point
that he knew exactly how to win the war.
In fact, I'll quote him here.
"'I hope this country is awakening to the truth,
"'the doctrine I have
tried to preach to them for the
last six months. So, I mean,
he has pulled out his armchair and he is
doing some generaling good and proper.
In fact, he was saying things
like this, and with, to be fair,
remarkable military insight.
He wrote, there is no hope of
the Republic winning unless we
pulverise the great rebel armies.
So his logic is, we have to win.
Otherwise we lose.
That's genius.
I know, good stuff.
You imagine he was saying things like this while smoking a cigarette after a game of Ludo.
Yeah.
To a round of applause.
Yeah.
Where did they come from?
Garfield started to use his new connections
To be promoted to Major General
Of course he was
Don't get me wrong
He's not being promoted at this point
But he's pushing for it
He figures the best way to be promoted to Major General
Would be to
Want to hazard a guess?
And bearing in mind there's a civil war going on at this point
How best to get a promotion?
Ask your friends
To be fair, possibly But he feels like he's got to put the extra effort in Bearing in mind there's a civil war going on at this point, how best to get a promotion? Ask your friends.
To be fair, possibly,
but he feels like he's got to put the extra effort in.
Oh, he's going back on the front?
No, he decides to write a book on the military achievements of Frederick the Great of Prussia.
Oh.
Whilst the civil war's going on.
I do feel like he hasn't got a sense of urgency.
No, no, you really don't at this point.
You get the feeling that
he's suddenly found himself in a really good
place that he likes to be.
Yeah. And he is having a bit of a
holiday. Essentially, yeah.
Yeah. Now, it's possibly around
this time, although it's not clear, that
Lucretia finds out about Miss
Calhoun. Oh dear. As far as we could
tell, it seems that Garfield
confessed to Lucretia in a fit of guilt.
Lucretia demanded that he end it in person and then burn the letters, which he does say. Miss
Calhoun apparently not too fussed because she was by this point engaged to someone else. Ah fair,
fair enough. But uh got so few details on that we don't really know. Anyway, at this point, Garfield gets some orders.
Stop writing your bloody book and go and report to Major General Rosecrans. Do something. Yeah,
because Rosecrans was looking for a chief of staff. Now, it appears this job was given through
Garfield's new ties to the Washington elite. This job was usually given to a more junior man,
so it was unusual for Garfield to get it.
But get it he did.
Now, Rosecrans was not 100% happy about this.
He wasn't really sure why it was Garfield being chosen.
Was Garfield coming along simply as a radical Republican spy?
So, when Garfield arrived, Rosecrans kept Garfield close to get to know him.
Like, if he's going to be my chief of staff, I got to get to know him see if I can trust him. Now if Garfield
was indeed sent to keep an eye on things
because it's not really clear but it would
appear that was the case
but if it was he and Rosecrans soon developed
a friendship. Oh that's good. Yeah
Rosecrans declared that Garfield was
and I quote the first well read person
in the United States Army. He does come off as
likeable. I mean not not in this narrative, actually.
I'm starting to, like, it is a bit dodgy, but everyone seems to like him.
Yes, like many people who do unpleasant things without thinking,
they can also be very charismatic and come across as nice people.
Signs a psychopath.
I don't know if we can go that far,
but we'll get to the end of this story before you do.
Yeah, he certainly has some character faults.
We can say that.
But as you say, he has charisma and people do get on with him.
Yeah, anyway, the two would spend all night chatting, apparently.
Garfield wrote,
For ten nights I have not gotten to bed once before 2.30 in the morning,
and one time after four o'clock.
It's like a whiskey drinking day, isn't it?
Yeah.
The friendship grew so that Rosecrans soon offered Garfield a command of a division.
You should be doing a job that's actually equal to your rank here,
so why don't you command a division?
However, he also offered his friend to stay as the chief of staff.
If you want to carry on, fine, but do you want to go and lead troops on the field and earn some glory?
Absolutely not.
Well, Garfield, with one eye on his career,
was unsure what to do.
He did genuinely want to go and earn some fame and glory,
and commanding a division would definitely get that for him.
Yeah.
But keeping close to Rosecrans might pay back tenfold
if the general came out of the war well.
Generals that come out of wars well tend to do very well politically afterwards.
If he hitches his wagon to Rosecrans, then maybe that's what I should be doing, he's thinking.
It's not for the best of the country, it's what's best for me and my future.
Pretty much, yeah.
So he accepts the job of the chief of staff, essentially just carrying on doing what he was doing.
However, there was soon a problem when Rosecrans started to argue with Stanton. Stanton wanted Rosecrans
to advance. Rosecrans wanted more men first. Stanton, in his rough and ready way, did not
mince words at what he thought about Rosecrans, and this led to Rosecrans digging his heels in even more.
So the Secretary of War and the General just not getting on.
Garfield, unfortunately, fully agreed with Stanton.
He thought they should be advancing.
Ooh, Wade's always been a bit like that, hasn't he?
Yeah.
So he attempts to persuade his new friend, but to no avail.
Frustrated, Garfield wrote to Chase, his mentor back in Washington.
I'll quote, Thus far, the general has been singularly
declined to grasp the situation
with a strong hand.
Officially, I share his counsels
and responsibilities even more than I desire,
but I beg of you to know that this delay
is against my judgment and my every wish.
Really distancing himself there.
And sure enough, and Garfield must have known this would happen,
Chase showed the letter to Stanton,
who wasted no time whatsoever spreading it as far and wide around Washington as possible.
Not long after this, Rosecrans found himself out of position
with the enemy nearby.
Garfield wrote at the time,
I believe the enemy intends now to fight us.
He has a large force and the advantage of position.
Unless we can outmaneuver him,
we shall be in a perilous situation.
Deadsville.
Yeah, turned out they couldn't outmaneuver.
No.
Yeah.
This is the Battle of Chickamauga,
one that I've not talked about before.
No.
But it's not great.
This, in fact, is even bloodier than the Battle of Shiloh.
In fact, this is the bloodiest battle of the entire Civil War,
apart from Gettysburg.
So this is what Garfield's a narrow part of as well.
Oh, yes.
Oh, he's seen two quite bad battles.
Oh, yes.
No, he certainly does.
He only commands that small little skirmish at the start.
Yeah.
But he is involved in two really quite nasty
battles. Yeah, he's there throughout the
two-day battle, in real
danger. I mean,
not as much danger as those troops that are
literally on the front lines,
but still, everyone's in
danger in this battle. On the second day,
the Confederate forces broke through the
Union lines, and Rosecrans,
thinking the battle was lost, ordered
a retreat. Garfield, however,
either under orders or
on his own, it's never
really made clear, rode
through the enemy lines so he
could see what the other part of the army was doing.
They were really quite spread
out. It wasn't clear. So yeah, he
just jumps on his horse and rides through enemy lines, avoiding gunfire,
just so he can go and see what the rest of the army are doing.
And sure enough...
Gets shot.
No, no he doesn't.
He finds that the other part of the army were actually still holding.
They hadn't completely deserted.
So this changes the orders and it stops everything from turning into a disaster.
I mean, they still lose the battle, but it could have been worse.
Right.
So although the Union forces come out of this not well, Garfield personally does because he's got this story to tell.
Yeah.
Of him bravely riding through the lines.
Soon after this, he returns to Washington and was promoted to Major General.
Yeah, he got his wish.
Yeah, but he soon retired because the reason why he'd gone to Washington was, of course,
to take up his seat in the House, which has now come around.
Now, at this point, a second child was born.
A son, which is nice, but the joy was very short-lived
because just a couple of months later, their three-year-old daughter eliza dies yeah very
sad there is some speculation that this death actually helps to mend the rift between the
married couple because as you can imagine things wouldn't have been great between them but
apparently they come together in their grief rather than being driven apart their marriage
was certainly on track enough that the two have five more children, roughly two years apart, continuously after this.
Not five children in two years.
Ten years of nappies.
Oh, yeah.
Not for Garfield, of course.
No, of course not.
But yeah, Lucretia.
Yeah.
Can't have been easy.
Anyway, Garfield's got a political career to get his hands around.
He was soon given a seat on the Committee of
Military Affairs. Now, due to his connections, despite being a brand new congressman, Garfield's
name was up there with some of the big hitters. Chase is certainly doing his best to make sure
people know who Garfield is. So he works on many things, including a debate where he agreed that
the black soldiers should be paid the same amount as the white ones.
Good.
Yeah.
However, he was still concerned that Lincoln was a bit too moderate.
He did not want Lincoln to stand for re-election.
In fact, I quote here,
he will probably be the man, though I do think we could do better.
Fitting words.
Yeah.
This attitude, however, did not play well back home, because as you can imagine, people back in Ohio liked Lincoln.
And Garfield soon realised that he would have to explain why he was openly against the president
to those who were about to vote for his re-election.
So he headed back to Ohio and he gave a speech.
One that Lucretia said was the bravest he ever did.
I hold it to be my privilege under the Constitution and as a man to critique any acts of the president.
I cannot go to Congress as your representative with my liberty restricted.
If I go to Congress, I will go as a free man.
As you can imagine, this kind of speech could have backfired.
I mean, everyone in the audience could have gone,
well, fine, you won't go back then.
Yeah, screw you.
But apparently cheers broke out, and shortly afterwards, he was re-elected.
Nice.
Yeah.
He returned to Washington and was one of the president's harshest critics,
declaring that he was too soft on the South.
Then the war comes to an end, as we have seen.
And then Lincoln was assassinated, as we have seen.
I will quote here,
My heart is so broken with our great national loss
that I can hardly think what to write or to speak.
So that's interesting because that sort of implies
that he respected Lincoln.
Yeah.
And nationally, it's a terrible thing to happen.
Yeah.
The leader of the country is being assassinated.
There is a story that he actually went out
onto the streets of Washington
and delivered an impromptu speech that was very rousing,
but at the same time cleverly didn't praise Lincoln.
But apparently it's just completely made up, that.
Johnson became president.
Brilliant.
Yeah.
You can probably guess what Garfield thought about Johnson.
If Lincoln was too soft on the South,
then Johnson was the worst thing that ever happened to the country.
A lot of people thought that. Weird.
Yeah, odd that.
Maybe it's because he was the worst thing to ever happen to the country.
Who knows? Second most. Well, Gar that. Maybe it's because he was the worst thing to ever happen to the country. Who knows?
Second worst.
Well, Garfield just carried on with his political job.
He worked on black suffrage.
I'll quote him here.
Let us not commit ourselves to the absurd and senseless dogma
that the colour of skin shall be the basis of suffrage.
The guy's certainly not a bigot.
He's quite forward-thinking in some areas.
I like that.
In some areas, go on then. He's quite forward-thinking in some areas. I like that. In summary, it's gone.
He's a kill-his-heel.
Well, just the fact that he treats his wife to poop.
Of course, yes.
But there are some other things that we'll get to.
He's a
three-dimensional character, I think, is a
nice way of putting it.
Anyway, meanwhile, the whole impeachment
of Johnson was happening.
Garfield was incensed when
Johnson survived by one vote.
He really wanted to see Johnson go down.
There hasn't been a successful
impeachment ever, has there? Not yet.
There have been the processes
and the closest
it came was Nixon, I guess.
He resigned. Yeah, he would have
been. So that's why he resigned.
Yeah.
There was just so much evidence.
There's no way he wouldn't have been.
Almost seems mild now, doesn't it?
Yeah, yeah, it does.
Weird.
We'll get to that in a couple of years' time.
Can't wait.
Yeah.
Anyway, the thing that really upset Garfield about the whole impeachment process, however,
was the actions of his mentor, Chase.
Because Chase had presided over the Senate trial,
Garfield felt that Chase had favoured the defence.
I'll quote him,
It is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do
to withdraw confidence and love
from a man to whom I have once given them.
But the conduct of Mr Chase has been outrageous.
Ooh, sorry.
There you go, he just severs that tie.
Cutting.
Meanwhile, Garfield has been reading,
making a name for himself,
as an expert on national finances.
Oh.
This gets the fun, then.
Is it still back in the day
where you could just decide to be an expert on something
and just go and do it?
Yes, yes.
Read a few newspapers and just declare that you know everything.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, people do that on Twitter.
Yeah, he was appointed to the Powerful Ways and Means Committee.
I mean, you didn't get much more powerful as a committee in Washington than Ways and Means.
And yeah, he was on that committee, but also the Committee of Banking and Currency.
As Grant became president, Garfield spent most of his time debating currency,
namely paper money and whether it should be backed by gold.
Oh, interesting.
So you're not quite getting rid of the gold standard, but it just...
Well, because of the Civil War, they'd had to rely on paper money,
which due to their colour was called greenbacks,
and it had come off the gold standard,
and they were dealing with the ramifications of this.
The ins and outs of this
were very important to the country obviously but it doesn't make for too interesting narrative
history so all you really need to know is that in the period known as the gilded age which has just
started garfield was one of the most important politicians talking about finances that's
interesting because you're sort of going from a
like a true value money system to an iou system yeah which is very interesting i think yeah yeah
it's what i'm really looking forward to uh 1927 with a crash of the stock markets and stuff yeah
looking forward to that are we good see i'm regretting deciding this will be the bit i
gloss over for time thinking just talking about finances will be boring,
but you seem really interested, so...
I'm not angry.
Next time, half the episode will just be on inflation rates and tariffs.
Fantastic.
Anyway, despite his radical Republican roots,
Garfield found himself shifting within the party slightly.
He started to feel like he was more in the middle ground of the party.
Because if you remember, the party starts to split between the half-breeds and the Starwaltz.
And he kind of tries to stay out of it, as did many in the party.
However, Blaine of Maine and the half-breeds, he was the current Speaker of the House,
and he pushed for Garfield to lose his seat on the Ways and Means Committee just so he could get some of his own men in, essentially.
Yeah, so the two became rivals for a while.
For a while.
Yeah, as you'll see, they kind of come back together, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Anyway, Blaine from Maine and the Halfbreeds, if you remember,
they were not too happy with the endless scandals of the Grant government, which is ongoing at this time.
Yeah.
Now, there is a reason why they thought Garfield might have been involved in some of the scandals.
Because he was.
It's because he was involved in some of the scandals, yeah.
Garfield, who was by this point the chairman of the Banking and Currency Committee, had looked into the Black Friday affair, which we briefly covered in Grant's episode.
That's the one sentence recap here.
Two men attempted to corner the market in gold using their ties to Grant's extended family.
Yeah.
So Garfield essentially is investigating this.
His report on the affair really downplayed Grant's involvement quite a bit,
much to the annoyance of many.
Garfield, however, saw it as a sensible way to gain favour.
I quote him,
The President expresses himself under a good many obligations to me
for the management of the gold panic investigation.
He really only cares about himself, doesn't he, really?
He really does, yeah.
So there you go, there's a favour or two in his back pocket there.
I'm sure this won't come back to bite me on the arse.
Well, a couple of years later, Garfield was caught up in another scandal, but directly this time.
I've had to hugely simplify this.
This is called the Credit Mobila scandal, where essentially influential stockholders in the Union Pacific Railroad Company
siphoned off profits into a second company called Credit Mobila.
They did this after charging far higher rates than usual to the government.
Once they'd done this, through illegally moving stocks and profits around,
they were able to essentially double the profits they made from subsidies from the government.
Right.
Now, I tried to go into the ins and outs of this
and realised to actually explain this properly
would probably take about half an hour.
That's fine.
You don't need to know the details.
It's all there on Wikipedia if you want to find it.
We just need to know it's bad.
Dodgy financial dealings are going on
with the Union Pacific Railroad Company.
Yes.
That's all you need to know.
You also, however, do need to know that to get away with this, they were bribing politicians.
They were bribing politicians with stock.
And then it all came out.
Several names were on a list of politicians who had been given credit mobiler shares on
the cheap.
Some on the list admitted their wrongdoing.
Fair cop, they said.
Some claimed utter ignorance. You what, they said. Some claimed utter ignorance.
You what, they said. I didn't know. Yeah. That's probably what I would go for if I was in that
position. Garfield remained ambiguous. I will neither confirm nor deny. I'm pleading the fifth.
Yes. It was found, however, after an investigation that Garfield had accepted $329 of shares,
but had little involvement,
and apparently that little involvement would not have affected his duties.
So essentially, it's like, yeah, you shouldn't have done that,
but, yeah, you kind of got off.
Now, how much Garfield was actually involved in this is unknown.
We don't know.
But it seems unlikely that he was bribed for no reason. There must be a reason
why those shares were there. Yeah.
In his defence,
in his personal diaries,
he is outraged at being accused for this.
Of course he is. However,
just because you're writing something in your personal diary
does not mean that you don't think people
are going to read it at some point.
So, it's hard to tell.
However, if he was worried that this scandal
was going to harm his chances of being re-elected back home,
he did not need to worry about that.
Because another scandal soon came along
that the people of Ohio were even more upset by.
Well, Congress had just voted to give themselves a 50% pay rise.
I really don't understand that in politics.
Because our government do that.
They'll vote on getting a pay rise.
I don't understand how you can do that.
I'm missing something.
I think one thing that is often missed is that politicians do need to be paid.
Of course.
It's their job, yeah.
Yeah, it is their job.
And if you stop giving them a decent wage, then only rich people will be able to become politicians.
And it means that you only get
uh the elite to become politicians however when public servants haven't been paid had a hand of
pay rise in years and years or of only one percent but the politicians are getting a massive 15
they can go right to yeah exactly it's when politicians give themselves bigger pay rises than anyone else is getting, you get problems.
It's really dodgy.
And a 50% pay rise. That is insane.
Oh, you've not heard the best part yet.
Oh, it gets better.
Back dated two years.
Oh.
So it was a 100% pay rise.
Or a lump sum of money.
It meant essentially, yeah, that everyone got a big pay payout, including
people who were about
to leave Congress were going
to be paid. The anger you are feeling
right now, just imagine if you were actually
there. As you can imagine,
people were annoyed. Annoyed
enough that the fact that
maybe he'd taken a bribe not long ago
kind of went out the window.
The reason why people were pointing their fingers
at Garfield is because as
the head of the Committee of Appropriations
it kind of had to go through him
to get done. Now Garfield
actually had disagreed with this
pay increase. Realising
that this might look good.
Perhaps we shouldn't do this.
But it got voted for
and as the chair of the committee,
he had to guide it through.
It was part of his job.
So, yeah.
That's interesting.
He'd voted against it initially,
but he had been the one to guide it through.
Yeah.
You have to fulfil on what's voted for.
You can't just shut it down.
It's like the Speaker of the House, I guess.
Yeah.
He went back to Ohio to try and explain himself,
saying, essentially, I understand that you're angry, but we can't call these people thieves because everything they've done is legal.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can see why tensions will be rising.
It didn't help that then he was caught up in a scandal.
Scandal four.
Scandal four.
Wonderful. up in a scandal. Scandal 4? Scandal 4, yeah. It was discovered that Garfield had been hired to legally
represent a company in
a bid for a contract. Fairly
standard stuff. Is this really a conflict
of interest kind of thing? This is a massive
conflict of interest. Just
ridiculously so. It's your own company
so.
Well it's not that but as
the head of the committee of appropriations
he had complete influence over this bid.
He argued that actually it was a level below the committee,
so he wouldn't be dealing with it, but he clearly had influence.
A nod and a wink would make that bid go through no problem.
And why did people think he might be giving a nod and a wink?
Because he had been paid $5,000 for the minimal work that he had been done.
This is an astronomical sum.
That puts that $329 to shame, doesn't it?
Yeah, he was paid a huge amount of money for doing...
15 times more.
...essentially basic admin work.
Yeah, he was...
This was not a sensible figure for him to be paid.
Even now, that's a lot of money.
Oh, yeah, I know.
Yeah, and it also came out that the company, someone in the company,
just came out and admitted the reason why they'd approached him
was because they thought that he'd be able to get the work through.
You could see this as a conflict of interest.
You could just see it as flagrant corruption.
Yeah.
Garfield was outraged by the accusations of corruption, I should probably say.
I'll quote here,
There is nothing in law or morals to prohibit a member of Congress from practising his profession.
Oh.
Yeah.
It's that annoying political speech.
Oh, yes.
We all know exactly what you're doing.
Yeah.
And we can't get you for it until you admit doing. Yeah. And we can't get you for
it until you admit it. You're not going to admit it. Amazingly, in, I mean, obviously, this isn't
mentioned by Bundy whatsoever. He doesn't go there. And the other couple of books around Garfield
that I read, all interpret Garfield as being politically naive at this point.
Oh, no. He had poor judgment.
He was just brought low by being in the wrong crowd, wrong place, wrong time.
But I just don't see that myself.
I mean...
He knows exactly what he's doing.
I mean, twice he's been found with money resting in his account.
It's just the fourth scandal he's been a part of.
Yeah.
He's a bit dodgy.
It's a pattern now.
It's not...
Yeah.
It was a one-off thing.
You could use that argument.
Yeah.
But it's a pattern.
Yeah, definitely.
When's the fifth?
Well, no, no.
We're actually done for our list of scandals for now.
Because now he's got to face re-election.
He wins with 57% of the vote.
That's when we scandal five, right?
No, no.
He just happened to be in an incredibly safe seat.
Yeah.
So, I mean, there was nothing dodgy about the election as far as we can tell,
but he had a safe seat, so he got away with it.
Yeah.
Anyway, the House passed to the Democrats during this election,
and Garfield found himself in the minority.
Despite recent scandals, Garfield was, at 43, the top of his game. He was seen as one of
the most important politicians in the capital. And here, personal tragedy struck once more,
when his youngest child, Edward, died of whooping cough at the age of two.
But now all his children are born, five surviving. Interestingly, one of his children,
Five. Five surviving.
Interestingly, one of his children, I just happened to see the dates and went, wow, that's amazing.
One of his children was alive just before Elvis Presley's album came out.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's amazing to think that, yeah.
That's weird.
He lasts until 1950, I think.
70?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, it's crazy, isn't it? That is.
Yeah, this is coming to living history now. Yeah, yeah, we're not that? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it's crazy, isn't it? That is. Yeah, this is coming to living history now.
Yeah, yeah, we're not that far off.
Anyway.
Gosh.
The presidential election comes around shortly afterwards,
and as we saw, the results were not certain whatsoever.
This is the one between Hayes and Tilden.
Garfield perhaps welcomed this as a distraction,
not long after the death of his child,
but as ever, it's hard to get a sense. It can't have been a pleasant time for him.
Anyway, as we have seen, Hayes lost the popular vote.
The Republican House states in the South claim that voter fraud and suppression
meant that Tilden had actually lost the Electoral College.
Grant asked Garfield to go down to New Orleans to oversee the recount there.
Garfield, sure enough, after arriving in
the city, found clear evidence of vote fraud and wrote back to say that Louisiana had indeed voted
for Hayes. And here's where you can really start seeing some of the problems Democrats would have.
Yeah. Don't get me wrong, there was voter suppression. The elections were really dodgy.
But when you've got people coming down from the Republicans who are hardly squeaky clean themselves,
you can see why people were not happy.
Also, he may or may not have got to know some ladies
whilst he was down there.
Again.
There were no details apart from during the election
there was accusations that he frequented houses of disrepute.
Local game shops selling out of Ludo boards.
Yeah, exactly.
But that may could be
completely made up.
Yeah, that's very likely. The kind of thing that
I'd probably just leave and not say
because you don't really know, but he's kind of
got form at this point.
He's a person of habit, isn't he? Yeah, so
who knows. Anyway, he saw the sights
in New Orleans. Let's just leave it
at that. Anyway, he returns back to
Washington and as we've seen, the Democrats
were utterly outraged at how things were going
so a committee was set up. Now if you
remember, this is the committee of 15 men
where it should have been completely equal
but because the Democrats shot
themselves in the foot, it
turned out the Republicans had one more person.
Also on this committee
was Garfield.
He was one of the men chosen.
The Democrats claimed that he was too partisan to be on the committee.
Garfield rightly pointed out,
there isn't a single man in Washington who's not partisan.
Oh, yeah.
You're going to have to go outside of politics itself to find someone who doesn't have an opinion.
So it was fine.
He was on the committee.
And sure enough, due to the Republicans having one more in this committee,
the decision went to Hayes.
Hayes is now the president.
Tensions rose so high at the time
that Garfield was given an escort to get home safely.
Oh gosh.
People feared that he would be assassinated.
Yeah.
According to one historian, Garfield and Hayes did not personally get on.
Yeah.
But I find this odd.
Hayes gets on with everybody.
Well, I'll quote you.
Mainly, according to this historian,
they didn't get on because of the contrast
between Garfield's outgoing nature,
and I'm going to quote here,
Hayes' dour and formal personality.
What?
Yeah, I know.
And also, there's a lot of evidence
they did get on quite well,
so I'm not entirely sure about this.
But actually, you know,
when they say he's got a dour, formal personality,
that, again, wouldn't surprise me.
You know, we did a lot of extracting the urine
on poor Hayes,
but a lot of that was from letters and diary.
Yeah.
That wasn't him.
We didn't really look at people's responses to him.
No, he could have been very formal.
Yeah. But the emotions poured out
onto the page. No, you're absolutely right.
It could have been like that. Stiff off the lip
or that. What? Yeah.
Yes. How do you hear? Well.
We're wifey.
No, he was like that.
All the time.
Advice present.
Hi. Now, as we saw with Hayes, he soon annoyed He totally was. All the time. Advice prison! Hi!
Now, as we saw with Hayes,
he soon annoyed almost everyone within his own party
by appointing Carl Schurz as Secretary of the Treasury.
Now, as Hayes attempted to grapple with the civil reform
and fight against the Starwars,
Garfield wrote, and I'll quote here,
I'm inclined to believe that Hayes's election
has been an almost fatal blow to this party. He's worried that the split in the party is going to
tear it apart. Yeah. Now Garfield in this time became the House minority leader. Oh, sorry.
The leading Republican in the House. But soon enough he was looking for a Senate seat. He found it. Oh, there it is.
Yeah.
I mean... They're fit as well.
Yeah.
As per usual with Garfield, he was popular and he was in a safe area.
It was no problem for him getting a Senate seat.
He was finding the House a lot of work, being the House minority leader.
He wanted something that was less work but still prestigious.
However, the election to the Senate
was not the end goal.
Possibly. Now, this all depends on what
narrative we take from here on in.
It really does depend on how we take this, and
historians, like real
historians, cannot agree on this.
We'll make our minds up, and
then that will be fact.
Eva Garfield has his eyes on the presidency from this point on,
and everything he does from this point on is to get the presidency.
Or he does not want the job, but a chain of events leads to an unexpected Garfield in the White House.
I'm going for the first one.
I'm going for the first one, but let's play it out, and then you
can decide at the end. I certainly
could imagine it being a bit of both.
Like, he sort of wants it, but he's not
quite sure. Then, oh, it's
carrying me. Oh, that's brilliant.
Yeah, realistically, that's probably how it plays
out, but... No, he wants it.
He's desperate for it.
Well, Hayes was on his way out, as we've
seen. There's no way he's getting a second term.
Everyone's annoyed with him.
And he's so damn smiley all the time.
So the smile, it's unnerving people.
Yeah.
Lollipop?
No!
He's got to go.
So the Republicans needed to decide who they were going to choose to put forward for the next election.
Now, as we have talked about, the Stalwarts and the Halfbreeds dominated the party.
And the two fashions obviously were supporting candidates for the nomination.
Yeah.
Blaine from Maine himself was the forerunner for the Halfbreeds.
He was putting himself forward.
For the Stalwarts, instead of putting himself forward, Conkling, remember he was the leader of the Stalwarts,
he led a push to get President Grant re-elected for a third term.
Now, they'd done really well under the general before.
Grant was very popular, but not great at stopping the kinds of corruption
that Conkling was really enjoying at this time.
Yeah, you could just say he almost encouraged it, but who knows?
He fully was, like almost openly.
Yeah, I mean, Calhoun's been dead a while now we need another villain and conquering fits the bill really quite well
no rabbits i feel um oh i don't know i don't know i think maybe orphan children
urchins i bet he hates the urchin yes yeah let's find a picture so you can see what he looks like.
Decide whether he looks like a villain.
That's like me in five years.
He's got sort of, he's got like a widow's peak, quite an extreme one.
He looks like he's combing the front forward, like vampiric style.
But big puffy outside bits.
Yeah.
That one's blondie.
And his beard's like long and pointy at the front.
Pointy, fairly long, neat beard with wavy receiving hair.
Yeah.
He looks like a charlatan.
He doesn't look evil.
Doesn't look evil.
He looks like a car, really, really dodgy car dealer.
Yeah, does he?
Fair enough.
Right, so that's Conkling.
So, yeah, like I say, he, as leader of the Star Wars, pushing for Grant.
Things were good under Grant.
Let's make that happen again.
Garfield made it known that he was not interested in becoming president,
just in case anyone was thinking.
Which, to be fair, some people were mentioning his name.
He's a big enough player now for his name to be mentioned.
Oh, don't mention my name.
Oh no, I couldn't possibly be president.
Yeah, yeah. Say it again, say couldn't possibly be president. Yeah, yeah.
Say it again, say it again.
He was pretty much like that.
Yeah, so instead he announced that he would support Sherman,
the younger brother of General Sherman from the Civil War.
Garfield and his supporters did not think that Sherman had a chance
because Sherman didn't have a chance.
But they figured it would stop Grant and the stalwarts
and at this point
Garfield just didn't want
Conkling to win. So a deal was made.
Garfield would publicly get behind Sherman
and, if Sherman realised
he was going nowhere, he would
back Garfield on the off chance
that Garfield became a dark horse
candidate.
Yeah. So either that was just an
innocent exchange of deals there there just like the four
scandals perfectly innocent yeah uh or this is for planning and this was uh garfield planning to stab
sherman in the back from day one uh we just don't know no we'll see right shink to be fair it's not
a stab in the back it just stab in the front. We'll get to it.
Anyway, I mean, the party was so split that many expected a dark horse candidate at this time.
No one seemed more likely than Garfield.
So people were starting to talk about him as a dark horse candidate openly.
He was less of a dark horse, more like a grey horse that's in the shade slightly.
Yeah, running in the shade. I mean, you can see it's a horse. I mean, more like a grey horse that's in the shade slightly. Yeah. Yeah.
Running in the shade, but...
Yeah, I mean, you can see it's a horse.
I mean, it's obviously a horse.
Look, it's a horse.
You're saying nay.
Yeah.
Which is weird, because horses don't say that.
Anyway, various influential politicians met with Garfield around this time
to sound out the idea of him becoming a compromise candidate.
Garfield wrote in his personal diaries that he did not want the title of the Dark Horse
candidate, and he was not happy about it when it appeared in print in a magazine. But he was
fooling only himself if he genuinely didn't think his name was being discussed. And like I said
earlier, just because he's putting something in his diary doesn't mean he actually thought it.
Anyway, the convention came around. This time it was in Chicago. The convention started with a move
from the stalwarts. They attempted
to push through a block unit
voting rule, which sounds very
exciting. This is where states
votes would be voted as a block
rather than the representatives all
getting individual votes.
So it would be a case of New York
puts all 16 votes, or however
many they had, into this person,
instead of all their representatives voting individually.
More efficient.
More efficient, they argued. Exactly.
But not very representative, I would also argue.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, Conkling had done the maths, and he'd figured out that this would play into stalwart's hands if they did this.
If they block-voted, there was a good chance that Grant would become elected.
So if we can get this vote through, and if we can adopt block voting,
we should have this nomination sewn up.
Sure, if I win.
Yeah.
Now, although Garfield was hardly squeaky clean himself, as we have seen,
and he also opposes Blaine, because Blaine and him had become rivals,
this was exactly the kind of anti-democratic move that really made
him dislike the stalwarts i hate corruption and yeah but in his eyes he'd never really done
anything wrong he just got paid for some things you know sometimes wheels need to be greased in
in politics that was all it was but this this was anti-democratic. Over the recent years
although he's tried to stay in the middle
he's actually sort of leaning towards the
half-breeds. Although he certainly wouldn't consider
himself a half-breed himself.
More sympathies. Now we know
roughly where Garfield's thinking was.
The fight on whether to adopt this
block unit rule went to the
Rules Committee. Guess who's on that?
Guess who happens to not just be on it but chair the rules committee um garfield oh it's garfield yes yeah a three-hour session rolled on
whilst uh this block unit rule was debated garfield and all other anti-congling factions
were able to squash the push for the rule to be adopted.
Garfield later wrote to his wife, and I'll quote here,
This will embitter Kongling and his followers against me.
That's right.
This will embitter Kongling and his followers against me.
Do you hear that?
That's a lightning and a thunder in the background.
Oh.
Ominous.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Anyway.
Is there a gong?
There might be a gong.
The next day, Kongling, who was very annoyed,
because...
I can kill him!
Well, his plan failed.
So he proposed a resolution requiring all delegates
be honour-bound to support the convention's nominee.
So whoever won the voting, everyone had to swear an oath of allegiance.
Anyone disagreeing with this would forfeit their seat,
be thrown out of the party, essentially.
Now, actually, as there was a tradition of unanimously voting
for the winner of balloting anyway, as we've seen before,
this didn't really make much difference,
because everyone got behind the winner anyway.
It was a tradition.
So this proposal went through with very little resistance.
They didn't need to do a formal count. It was just
a case of shouts of aye. So what
was the reason? This was just Conkling putting
something through he wanted to get put through.
It's not that important apart from what
happens next. Is it anyone
that's had any subtle doubts or
anything get kicked out? No. It's that sort of thing.
It's not that. The reason
why this is important and why we're
focusing on it is because although
practically everyone eyes
and says it can go through,
there were a couple of voices
that cried no.
It was a handful of people who just really
hated congling and just
to show him him just refused to
vote for it anyway. Now, it made no difference. The motion passed. It's fine. But Conkling was
outraged that someone would vote against him on such an obvious thing to vote for. In fact,
he stood up and shouted, who at a Republican convention would vote no to such a resolution?
If you're going to vote no to that, why are you even here?
Of course we should support who we vote for.
Now, Conkling had not read the room, however,
and many started to boo and hiss him at his outraged outbursts.
Yeah.
Although, according to another source that I read,
the boos and hisses were actually directed towards those who had a devoted note to the proposal. That's hard to tell,
isn't it? More likely,
the boos and hisses were directed
from both sides. Yeah. Because
as you point out, I mean, this is the
stalwarts and the half-breeds essentially starting
to boo and hiss at each other. Arguments
start to break out between the half-breeds
and the stalwarts. And
Conkling demanded that the
dissenters be thrown out of the party
wow yeah lots of raised voices yeah lots of angry people and then everything slows down into slow
motion and we're back at the start again oh yeah nice so you've got a room full of people shouting
at each other yeah everyone's very angry at each other and of, this is the room in the photo that you talked about.
Do you want to have another look at the photo?
We will put this up on Twitter and Facebook.
This is the 1880 Republican Convention in Chicago.
It's just a big room with some United States flags on the corner
and just lots of posh looking people.
Are they Roman busts?
Sitting around.
They must be Roman busts.
Probably.
High fiving.
Is that a fire exit sign?
Like, look, it's weird when you look at it.
Like, where's the focus?
I mean, to be fair, everyone's sort of looking at the front, but it's such a mess.
It's not neat and tidy at all.
Oh, it's there, isn't it?
But then you've got tables facing the other way.
It's a very weird setup.
That's amazing.
That is phenomenal.
Oh, look, a broken flag.
Yeah. That's what we were focused on right at the start. It was purple when it was blurry, because It's a very weird setup. That's amazing. That is phenomenal. Oh, look, a broken flag. Yeah, that's what we
were focused on right at the start. It was purple when it
was blurry, because that's what happens to colours.
Yeah, it's true. So, big room,
full of people, lots of arguing.
And then, whilst everyone's discussing,
shall we say, the merits
of what Conkling has just said,
it was noticed by several
that a man had stood up to the front
and stood at the podium
and sort of cleared his throat a little bit.
Now, according to sources, everyone quietened down.
So either the debates weren't actually that heated or that's not true
because if there's a room full of people arguing with each other,
they don't suddenly go quiet just because someone's at the front.
Because everyone's standing up, so...
Yeah, I mean, it's like if you've ever tried to teach a group a room full of people,
whether it's adults or children,
it's like, they don't just be quiet
just because you're stood at the front.
You've got to do something.
Or it does work eventually.
It takes a good few minutes.
But who knows?
Maybe he did that thing where he put his hand in the air
and everyone else had to put their hand in the air.
Or did a little clapping pattern.
Yeah.
Or just put one or two
of the delegates in detention.
Yeah. And then everyone else
was brought round. Yeah.
Eventually people were quiet. They listened to him.
And he said, I fear this convention
is about to commit a great
error. Remember we've waffled on about
other things but Conkling has said that
these people who dissented should be thrown out
of the party. We come here as Republicans
and as one of our rights we can vote
on every resolution, aye or
no. I say that the dissenters
acted in their right
and not by my vote shall they
be deprived of their seats
or their freedom. The hall
filled with cheers. Yay!
Garfield stepped off
the platform,
and a frustrated Conkling handed him a note.
The note said,
New York requests that Ohio's real candidate come forward.
On day four of the convention,
the people could nominate people.
Yeah.
People could put people forward for the nomination, I should say.
Conkling stood up first and put forth Grant's name,
pointing out that Grant was still the war hero,
beloved by the public.
If Grant was there, they would barely need to do any electioneering.
Yeah.
They will easily win.
Delivered an alright speech.
It went down okay, but he didn't really do anything to change minds.
Garfield was up next.
He stood up to speak. He realised he shouldn't try and compare Sherman to Grant because
That was never gonna work. So instead he spoke of compromise in general. I'll quote him We want the vote of every Republican of every Grant Republican and every anti Grant
Republican in America of every Blaine man and every anti-Blaine man.
The vote of every follower,
of every candidate is needed to make success certain.
And now, gentlemen of the convention,
who do we want?
And at that point, a voice cried out from near the back,
a solitary voice,
we want Garfield.
The convention erupts into applause.
So that went fairly well. Yeah,
successful speech. Either Garfield
was horrified, obviously he wants
Sherman. He probably feigned it.
Or, that person who shouted
out near the back pocketed his
cash. $5,000.
Yes, and
congratulated himself on a job well done.
Yeah. Now the next next day the balloting
started up grant got the most votes with 304 blaine was on 284 sherman 93 but you needed 379
to win so obviously round two and then round three and then round four and then you have five
in fact after 13 hours and 28 rounds, there was no shift.
I mean, there's a handful of votes changing each time.
But essentially, every single time, Grant won with roughly 305 votes and Blaine was on roughly 285 votes.
There was just no shift whatsoever.
So Sherman's still in this?
Sherman's hanging around the 80s.
So who's going to have a quiet chat in his ear?
Well, the convention breaks up and quiet chats are had. As per usual, we are not privy to the
information or the details, but there certainly would have been a lot of politicking going on.
The next day continued much the same until the 34th ballot, where all of a sudden, and we have
no idea why, but Wisconsin suddenly flipped.
They stopped voting for Blaine and instead voted for Garfield.
Huh?
Yeah.
Whose name's not in the ring.
Now, actually, Garfield's name sort of was in the ring because there was one or two in
the convention who always voted for Garfield anyway.
So Garfield had had one or two votes, but, I mean, no one paid attention to that.
Suddenly, he had 17 from nowhere.
Garfield apparently sprang up to speak once this was announced.
He said that Wisconsin could not vote for him
because he had not given consent to be voted for,
just handily ignoring the fact that
he had actually been given one or two votes every round so far.
Now, either this was a genuine speech and he was worried,
oh dear, I'm about to be made president when I don't want to be,
or this is very much Caesar refusing the crown from Mark Antony.
I've got to say it's going to be the second.
Of course it is.
Yeah.
I don't want to do this, of course.
Of course not.
Of course not.
Anyway, next round of balloting, and sure enough, Indiana this this time threw their support behind Garfield, giving him 50 votes.
Sherman, at this point, kept his promise and withdrew.
The next ballot, Garfield went from 50 to 399.
Wow.
Yeah.
The floodgates had broken.
He gained every single Sherman and Blaine vote.
The Stalwarts still remained backing Grant.
Grant still had 306 votes, so they didn't shift at all.
But everyone else did.
So Garfield's won.
Apparently, pandemonium in that hall for a good 30 minutes
before the cheering and congratulations could be calmed down, Conkling then rose
to make the vote unanimous,
as was tradition. However, apparently
it was very much through gritted teeth,
and he didn't offer any compliments to Garfield
whatsoever. Incidentally,
Hayes heard of this news. He wasn't
there, but he heard of the news,
and how do you think he took
the news? Spiffing! Oh yeah,
delighted he was.
Wonderful.
I'll quote him.
A worthy contender.
Garfield's nomination at Chicago was the best that was possible.
Of course it was.
Of course it was, Hayes.
Of course.
Yeah.
I'm going to miss Hayes.
Now, once the presidential nominee was sorted,
the convention moved on to the vice president.
Garfield here made an effort of reconciliation with the Stowalts.
He made it clear he would support a Conkling man
for vice president,
namely a man named Chester Arthur.
He's one of your men, isn't he, Conkling?
So, Eddie, you're looking confused.
He's Chester.
We will be doing an episode on him.
This is why I'm dropping the name in.
Conkling, however, was not in a compromising mood
and apparently...
Screw you!
Yeah.
Well, apparently he told Arthur to refuse.
It's like, no, we're not even talking to him.
Come on, Arthur.
And he clicked his fingers.
However, Arthur was more than happy to accept.
Of course, yeah.
I can't do that.
Vice President, me.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Why not?
So, I mean, this really didn't work well for Garfield in the end because he ended up with a vice president me yeah hell yeah why not so the year i mean this really didn't work well for
garfield in the end because he ended up with a vice president he didn't know and he didn't
politically agree with because arthur was very much a stalwart but conkling wasn't pleased about
it so garfield got none of the benefits of this compromise whatsoever yeah so unfortunately that
didn't work anyway after the after the convention, Garfield therefore
realised he needed to unify the party if he was going to win. If the stalwarts were against him,
he wouldn't win New York and he probably wouldn't win the election. So he's got to get the stalwarts
on board. So he made it be known that although he wanted to reform the civil service, get rid of the
spoil system, get rid of some of the corruption, It would only make sense, he announced, for the executive office to listen to advice from
those that knew who could do certain jobs well.
I mean, obviously, that's not a spoil system.
No.
But I'll happily listen to people who could advise me well.
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
I mean, this not-so-subtle hint that the spoils system would stay
in awe but name, however, was actually
too subtle for Conkling.
Yeah, no, he wasn't happy. He wanted more
chances than that. So that went nowhere.
So, it was suggested to Garfield
that he go to New York
and meet Conkling in person
and try and sort this out. However, aware
of how this would look, I mean, this is the presidential
nominee going to New York
to get permission from the stalwarts to win an election.
Do you know what this feels like?
I bet this comparison has never been made ever in history.
Go on, then.
Scipio and Hannibal.
Really?
No, but it's fun to say.
Go on.
Two rivals meeting.
That's as far as I can take it.
You're right.
You're right. They did meet, didn't they? Yeah, they did meet did and these two are going to meet they're gonna meet yeah yeah it's you know
what you're bang on the money jamie yes yes historian give you a ranking point for it yes
yeah um it's not a good look is it having to go and bow down to the stalwarts yeah yeah it's not
great realizing it would look bad a republican conference
was put together in new york he's not going off to meet the stalwarts there's a conference to go
for it too of course garfield's going to go he's the nominee so the idea was garfield would go to
new york to the conference and then slip out to meet conkling and uh just see what could be sorted
out yeah however once garfield was in new York, apparently Conkling just disappeared.
Yeah.
And left underlings to sort everything out,
including Arthur.
They'd patch things up a bit.
Now, there's no records of the deals made
between Garfield and the Stalwarts.
Obviously, no one was making notes.
But this is exactly the kind of dodgy dealing,
corrupt deals in locked doors, everyone's smoking cigars kind of stuff that happened in the Gilded Age that lots of people weren't happy with.
Of course.
We're thick in the middle of it now.
However, Garfield left feeling that progress had been made.
He wrote, very weary, but feeling that no serious mistake has been made and probably much good.
but feeling that no serious mistake has been made, and probably much good.
Conkling appeared shortly afterwards, from wherever he'd gone to,
and made much of the fact that Garfield had come begging to him,
so anyone who would listen to him, essentially,
and announced that he would support the nominee.
So there you go. Garfield now has the entire Republican Party behind him.
Now, the election itself was actually far less dramatic than the Republican nomination process.
The Democrats had chosen Winfield Hancock, a
popular Civil War general with little
experience of politics,
but was very popular in New York.
So they were hoping they'd win that.
As per usual, mud was slung around, and
there was actually quite a lot of mud to sling
in this case.
Garfield's affairs were aired,
as was the rumour that he played Ludo in New Orleans.
The fact that he had those $329 worth of bonds in his account,
a lot was made of that, in fact.
The figure became a rallying cry from the Democrats,
and 329 badges were made,
flags with the number on were created,
and apparently even underwear was made
with the number stitched into it.
That is weird.
That is weird, isn't it?
Yeah, so, I mean, this number appeared all over the place.
The Republicans attempted to own the number
by saying the three was how many years he had served in the army,
the two was how many years he'd served in the Ohio Senate,
and the nine was how many terms in Congress he had served, which is just so rubbish.
Yeah.
Because then whoever says that, the other person will just turn around and say,
no, the 329 is how many dollars of bonds were resting in his account, and it shouldn't have been.
Yeah, duh.
Don't try and turn this into something positive.
That's a really weird thing to do.
It's like sewing...
Oh, it's still on the underwear.
Yeah, sorry.
It's odd.
It is odd.
I mean, I couldn't get this confirmed.
I just read in one place, apparently even underwear and socks as well.
Some elections just have some weird things about them.
And yeah, so there you go.
Three, two, nine.
It was a big thing.
Anyway, the election came around.
Garfield remained at home for most of the campaign.
We're still at a time where the nominees didn't really campaign.
But he did have a telegraph installed in his house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So he was able to keep on top of things.
And he would talk to reporters who were camped out on his front garden and stuff.
So he got involved just from the comfort of his own home, essentially.
That's so Garfield.
Yeah.
Anyway, the election was close.
Like, really close.
Think of something that is close.
You and I.
Closer.
Wow.
If you could entertain such a thought.
Once the votes came in and were counted, over 9 million people had voted.
That's a lot of people voting now.
Both candidates had got 19 states each.
Ooh.
4,444,260 had voted for Hancock.
4,446,158 had voted for Garfield.
Oh my goodness.
In terms of percentages of the popular vote, that is 48.2 for Hancock, 48.3 for Garfield.
That is insanely close.
This is 2,000 votes in a vote of 9 million people. Incredibly close. That is insanely close. This is 2,000 votes in a vote of 9 million
people. Incredibly close.
That is insane. As per usual
though, the Electoral College showed
something quite different.
Garfield got 214,
Hancock 155.
So, a fairly comfortable
win. But it really
wasn't. It was close.
So there you go. Garfield is now the
20th President of the United States
or at least the President-elect at this
time. Yes. And that is where we will
end today. Interesting.
I've liked him less and less throughout the episode.
Yeah, he's another one where you start off going
alright, okay, well really?
Ooh. Yeah.
Although, the first one that's happened
where you're not just going, oh, you're horribly bigoted.
Yeah, that's...
Because actually he's not.
No, we're sort of losing that bit now, aren't we?
We'll get it back.
Yeah, I'm sure we will.
Don't get me wrong.
But with Garfield, no, he's not a horrible bigot.
That's good.
But it would appear he is definitely corrupt and also more than happy just to be philandering.
So predictions on his presidency
possibly not going to go well right not catastrophic but not brilliant because
you said it being he's not well known so i think he's just a bit like hayes just forgotten
hayes is known for his election rather than anything else so i feel like garth was just like
things get by okay but i don't know there is one thing he's well known for, but I don't want to ruin anything.
Beard.
If you're listening, don't ruin it for Jamie, because there is one thing he's well known for.
But I want to be the one who tells you.
Yeah, don't send messages.
Okay.
I do look at everything.
Yeah.
It goes to Rob, it goes to me as well.
We've got the same account, so I see everything Rob sees.
Right.
Okay, so that's it for this week.
Thank you very much for listening and thank you
for downloading us on podbean and itunes and we'll see you in two weeks yes we will goodbye goodbye Why, hello, Miss Calhoun.
Oh, you're looking pretty dashing this evening.
Why, why, thank you.
So why are we here?
You said you wanted to show me something.
Tell me, Miss Calhoun, have you ever heard of Ludo?
I've heard rumours.
Some say it is merely a game of chance.
But with me, it's a game of passion.
Oh, I can't take it anymore.
Whip it out, James, whip it out!
Oh, that's actually Ludo.
Yes, would you like to be blue, green, yellow or red?
I'll be green.
Okay, you chose, I'm rolling first.
James Garfield, part one.
Hello and welcome to American Presidents Hotelist Rankium.
I am Jamie.
And I am Rob, ranking all the presidents from Washington to...
Whoever it will be soon. Warren. I'm Jamie. And I am Rob, ranking all the presidents from Washington to... Whoever it will be soon.
Warren. I'm hoping Warren.