American Presidents: Totalus Rankium - 29.2 Warren Harding
Episode Date: September 6, 2020Harding was never more popular than the day after he died, and then it all started to go wrong for him. So why has Harding's reputation taken such a battering in the last 100 years. Find out as we con...tinue the Amazing Adventures of Warren and Jerry!
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Welcome to Totalus Rankium. This week, Cherry Part 2.
That's not the title, Jamie.
It is. Cherry Part 2.
Fine, okay, it can be the title.
Although I do have it recorded from last time So I'll be able to change it myself
Welcome to Totalus Rankium
This week
Warren Harding
Part 2
Hello and welcome to American Presidents Toast House Rankium. I am Jamie.
And I am Rob and this is episode 29.2.
It's not Jerry, it's Warren Harding.
It is definitely Jerry.
I mean, to be fair, Jerry is part of the episode.
I mean, we're yet to determine if it's a large part or a small part, but still a part.
We will not be judging the size of Jerry. That is not what this podcast is turning into.
Right, here we are. We've had a bit of a break. We had a week off, didn't we? So it's been a while
since we did Harding part one, but I'm guessing you still remember what we talked about. Oh yeah.
Part two, let's see how he does in his presidency
shall we? I'm guessing
well, everyone says he's really boring
apart from the Jerry thing, he's really boring
so I think he just plods along. Fair enough.
We'll see, won't we? Right. Yes, we will.
Do you want to start us off?
Flesh coloured. Seriously?
You're going there.
Well, it depends whether you get there or not.
It's all down to you, Rob.
Okay, let's start with flesh-coloured.
Because we're indeed looking at skin.
It's close-up of skin.
Yeah.
You can see the little hair sticking up.
Really close.
You can see the veins, almost, you could say.
And then you see red, dark red, just coming from the top of the screen.
As you realise, you are really zoomed in on a droplet of blood.
And it's slowly moving across the surface of this skin.
Poor Jerry.
It's not Jerry.
It zooms out.
And you realise that the camera is above a man.
A man in a room. This man, he's lying on the floor,
and he has a waste paper bin on his head. Right. Yeah. And you realise that you were zoomed in
right on his neck just before it goes in to the waste paper bin, and out of the waste paper bin
that's on top of the head is a trickle of blood. Oh dear.
And there you go.
Just slowly fade to black.
That very morbid image.
Warren Harding part two.
Yay.
Yeah.
In brackets, and Jerry.
So I'm not letting this go for the entire episode.
No, no, I can tell.
I thought I'd try and move away with a really serious morbid opening.
But no, no.
No, I'm keeping a tight grip on Jerry.
You'll have so much fun editing this episode.
Oh, God.
Never should have focused on Jerry so much last week.
I feel like I've created a monster.
Right.
Okay, here we are.
Harding part two.
We left Harding, entering the white house in a landslide
that's a good way to travel yes mountain well if you remember his election was very vague and
uh it was full of general promises of being american yeah but the democrats if you remember
had really suffered due to economic problems uh the War, the internal race terrorism of the KKK
that's starting to spring up once more.
So things aren't great.
And the Democrats take a battering in the polls.
So Harding manages to pretty much walk into the White House,
which is impressive when you're on a landslide.
Yeah.
And of course, he's not alone because he goes with his wife.
With his wife, Florence.
Ah, okay.
And yes, most likely Jerry.
And in my notes it said, and if you remember somebody else,
but obviously you'll just say Jerry.
So I'm not going to say that line now.
Okay.
I feel like I'm going to have to self-edit what I say throughout this episode now
to make sure it's as clean as possible, which might be tricky
because obviously
he didn't just go to the White House with Florence but there's somebody else who Harding likes to
keep in contact with Jerry shall we say oh can you remember who I've got a name hang on I'll find it
out her name as I'm remembering right now is Florence that'll'll be his wife. No, that's his wife because when I said
Florence what I really meant was, not Taft, Elizabeth. I have no idea where Elizabeth has
come from. That's daughter. Oh yes, no, that Elizabeth. Oh, well you're getting close, as in it will be a relative to Elizabeth. Carrie. No.
Oh.
That was his first mistress that we know of, who he put an end to before he went to the White House.
We are talking about Nan Britain.
Phoebe.
Oh, oh, yes, no, it does say Nan Britain.
Yeah, yeah, it does.
I was thinking, like, Nana, like, grandparent.
No, no, her her name her name was
nan yeah uh if you remember harding had started to have an affair with his friend's daughter
who was 30 odd years junior to him so wrong there's a bit of wrong especially when
nan has a child and he just pretty much pretends that hasn't happened. So Harding goes into the White
House with a secret love child and a mistress and obviously his wife. When I say going into
the White House they're not literally going in together. That would make dinner times very awkward.
Well Harding did get to have a chat to Nan before he became the president. He let her know that although he was
going to be the president, there would still be time for, and I quote, intimate companionship.
So filthy in the early 1900s, weren't they? Oh yes. Harding apparently had a plan. They'd still
be able to do it. According to Nan, soon after Harding became president, she visited the White
House, and I'll quote her here
the president of the united states and his adoring sweetheart made love in a cupboard just off his
personal office oh is that cupboard still there today uh no because this is gutted wasn't it yeah
no this is in the west wing which as we will see at some point in the near future has a bit of a fire problem.
Oh.
Yeah.
So lots of it is rebuilt.
I like to think the bum cheeks are still there on the plaster.
Yeah, this is quoted from Nan Britton's book
that she released after Harding died,
which went into all sorts of details.
As I said last time,
most historians have said that it's all a pack of lies,
but the DNA proves otherwise. The child is definitely Harding's. So since she was telling
the truth about the child, I think let's give her say what was going on. So yeah, there's a very
good chance they were quite literally carrying on the affair in the White House, quite possibly in the cupboards. However, this seems to be a bit of a one-off for Harding at the start of the presidency,
because finding time together, now he was president, was going to prove difficult.
There's no doubt about that. Nan, upon visiting the White House another time early on in the
presidency, saw a stenographer at work and remembered a half promise from Harding one day
that he would get her a job in the White House so she could be near. So she asked her lover if she
could become his stenographer. But Harding replied that he would love to have her, but would end up
giving her all his dictation, if I can quote him. And the work of the country would suffer otherwise.
So she'd be too much of a distraction.
Sorry, I'd love you to be here, but no, I couldn't possibly.
So instead, he gave her some money,
told her to be careful about spending it so people wouldn't talk too much,
and then assured her once again, which was regular,
that he would love to look after their
daughter, maybe when I'm no longer president, of course. Anyway, off you go now. And off she went,
a member of the Secret Service just took her out the back way of the White House and ferried her
off. So with his affair sorted, Harding moves on to affairs of the state. The country, as we covered... Nice segue.
I was proud of that one. As covered in the end
of Wilson's episode, the country
is a mess. The economy is suffering
after the war. There's rioting
in the streets. Lynchings
were becoming disturbingly common,
i.e. there was more than one.
And the fight between
workers and company owners
was hotting up once more now that the war's over.
So things aren't great.
In fact, the head of the Secret Service and admirer of President Wilson summed it up at the time.
I will quote him,
The country was in a mess.
Wise words.
They were, yeah.
So it was time to fix it. But where to start?
Sort out the workers first.
Right, OK.
Because that'd be quicker.
Rather than top down,
don't even think about it,
start little,
then get them working again,
they'll forget about it,
then you've got the rich people
still making money.
OK, well...
I could be a Republican.
Be easy.
We'll see.
We will see.
Some hint had been given
in Harding's inaugural address of what he
was going to tackle first uh incidentally inaugural address the first one ever to be
electronically amplified so this is the first inaugural address that we have covered in the
entire podcast where the most common response was not what did he say hey Hey, what was that? Speak up. Yeah, so there's none of that this time.
Just lots of people going...
Complaints.
Turn it down!
Who does he think he is?
Yeah.
So, what did he say in his electronically amplified speech?
Well, he made it very clear.
America was not going to be drawn into the politics of the old world.
No League of Nations.
Remember, this was a big battle at the time.
Wilson really wanted America in the League of Nations. A lot of people didn't. And Harding was one of Nations. Remember, this was a big battle at the time. Wilson really wanted America in the League of Nations.
A lot of people didn't.
And Harding was one of them.
No League of Nations.
However, if needed, America would fight again, was his message.
So we won't be in the League of Nations, but we won't be isolationist.
We'll still be around.
Yeah.
He thanked the wounded veterans who had come back to the country.
In fact, I'll quote here.
A generous country will never forget the services you rendered.
Oh.
Yeah, you might want to make a slight note of that.
So a generous country will never forget the services rendered.
That's a quote from President Harding for you.
Right. Never forget. Never, never forget. Generous country. Generous. Rendered. That's a quote from President Harding for you.
Right. Never forget.
Never, never forget. Generous country.
Generous.
Generous.
He also talked about the economy. I'll quote him again. We need a rigid and yet sane economy, combined with fiscal justice, and it must be attended by individual prudence and thrift, which are so essential to this trying hour and reassuring for the future. Or in other words, I have no idea.
I mean, it sounded good though, didn't it?
I mean, that is just...
It's words.
Words what sound good.
That seems to me what that was.
Saying a lot without saying anything.
Yeah, what the hell is a rigid yet sane economy exactly?
Who knows? But it's hard to argue with. It's like making America great again. Yeah, what the hell is a rigid yet sane economy exactly? Who knows?
But it's hard to argue with.
No one's going to...
It's like making America great again.
Yeah, exactly.
No one's going to start arguing for an insane economy, are they?
Or a flaccid economy.
Well, exactly.
No one wants an absolutely crazy flaccid economy.
So there you go.
Some more vague lines.
Like I said last time, this kind of stuff Harding was good at.
Giving speeches that didn't really mean much but sounded good and people could cheer.
A personal favourite line of mine in his inaugural address,
Our most dangerous tendency is to expect too much from government
and at the same time do too little for it.
Interesting.
Yeah.
That could be read in numerous ways. ways yeah to mean pretty much anything you want
it to mean yeah yeah that's wonderfully vague he's very talented actually yeah i do like the
setting the expectations right at the start yeah become president go out and announce to the world
look a lot of you tend to expect far too much from the government. I'm just going to say that now.
He briefly mentioned the race issues,
or rather he kind of talked around them, really.
I'll quote him again.
Ours is a constitutional freedom
where the popular will is the law supreme
and minorities are sacredly protected,
which I'm sure was news to a majority of the black population at the time.
But sacredly protected, are we? How nice. Anyway, after an all-right inaugural speech, I suppose,
that didn't really say much, he then set off to run the country with his cabinet. I haven't got a
huge amount to say about his cabinet, but a couple of people do stand out that we need to know about.
I haven't got a huge amount to say about his cabinet, but a couple of people do stand out that we need to know about.
As the secretary of... Did you just say Jerry? You did, didn't you? What? No.
No.
I wouldn't do that.
It's fine. I'm in charge of your audio. I will be able to edit out all the times you say Jerry.
All right.
And now we record separately. I can edit your audio and not mine. I have full control.
So you can't just shout over me. It's not going to work.
Anyway,
as a secretary of the treasury, he chose Andrew Mellon. Mellon is a great surname. Mellon was by many accounts, the second richest man in America, only behind Rockefeller. Mellon had inherited his
father's successful banking business and then went on to get fingers in pretty much all the pies in the Gilded Age.
Shipping, steel, coal, whiskey, electronics, construction, oil, etc, etc, etc.
He just, he was involved in it all and was raking it in.
A classic entrepreneur.
A full-on robber baron.
All the air of that.
Tomato, tomato, yeah. According to one historian i'll quote harding
shared in the popular american belief that a few great international figures controlled the
economic destiny of the world the thing was to employ one of them in the service of the nation
and the result would be prosperity for all so he's mega rich, so he must know what he's doing.
So let's get him in charge of finances of the country.
I mean, as you can see, the American dream pushed so hard in the Gilded Age
is still going very strong.
If you were rich, you must know how to run a country's government
because you were rich.
Well, it makes sense, yeah.
It just obviously makes sense. So Mellon was put in charge of of the treasury. Another appointment to note was a man
named Fall. Fall was put in charge of the department of the interior essentially looking after the
public lands and natural resources found in the interior of the country. Fall isn't important to know right now,
but he becomes arguably the most important figure in Harding's presidency, sort of.
So just know that he's there. He's going to come back.
The last one to note is a man named Hoover.
He became the Secretary of Commerce.
I'm not going to talk about Hoover much at all this episode,
but pop a box around him because we will certainly be talking about him in the future.
Well, he is a very famous inventor uh yes yes he is anyway to ensure that the cabinet could function as well as possible harding announced that all cabinet meetings were confidential and
off the record i love a bit of transparency oh yeah it's the best way to operate anything is to
make sure no one finds out what we're actually talking about in this room.
Because then we can get stuff done.
Well, according to Harding, that way his cabinet could actually speak their minds without being worried about what they said coming back to bite them later on.
Well, that's not inaccurate.
There is a logic there, yeah. Like you say, that's not inaccurate.
But there is an argument to be had that perhaps that's not how a government should run.
Open to abuse, shall we say.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. But at the same time, it did make for a cabinet that trusted their president and vice versa, because they were able to just get the job done, as it were.
Yeah.
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
Doesn't matter who we step on.
No, exactly.
Like you say, maybe some transparency issues there.
However, if you remember, Harding is an ex-newspaper man.
He spent most of his time running a newspaper.
He knew the importance of the press.
He knew the importance of perceived transparency.
And just like Teddy Roosevelt before him, Harding realized exactly how to use the press.
His meetings with them were frequent and friendly,
and just like Teddy Roosevelt's, completely off the record.
Yeah.
Brilliant.
The reporters loved that they got all the inside details.
Harding would just chat away to them and tell them everything,
often leaving breadcrumbs to follow a different story
if Harding wanted a story to be reported upon.
Nice.
And because the reporters got that,
it made up for the fact that they could only print
what Harding explicitly said they could.
Obviously, this gave Harding a huge amount of control
over what the press was saying.
It worked well for him, just like it worked well with Teddyosevelt it was a very clever way of using the press he's playing the game isn't he
yeah it's fully understanding the importance of on and off the record and what it can get you
something that certain presidents in recent times have not quite managed to get their head around. No.
Yeah.
So the press meetings became very popular, like I said,
and in fact eventually became so long that Harding introduced a question box.
He would read the questions beforehand and then just give out answers as a way to streamline the process.
Some accused him of being unable to answer questions on the fly
and criticised him for it,
but you get the impression this was more him
just trying to use the press as efficiently as possible.
Yeah.
However, pleasing the press, although important,
did not solve the problems of the country.
For that, Harding turned to his cabinet.
What shall we do? He asked.
I don't know.
Yeah, that was pretty much the answer with the cabinet.
Ah, effective.
Yeah.
Come on, Mellon.
Well, Harding sent them away and asked them to think on it.
It's like, seriously, this isn't rhetorical.
Kind of need answers here.
What are we going to tackle?
And what goes on in the cabinet room stays in the cabinet room.
So go wild with your theories and your your solutions there's no
bad answers here yeah in the meantime there was one thing Harding could do it was probably about
time that we end World War I Harding thought what with it being 1921 yeah probably a good good idea
yeah I mean he'd been reading the history books He could have sworn that World War I had definitely ended in the previous decade.
Yeah, it says so in this newspaper, look.
Yeah, so it's like, we're still at war with Germany.
Should we, like, end the war?
So he suggested to the Senate that perhaps they should end the war,
which they did, which is nice.
Well, they should have done it because didn't Germany surrender?
Or was it just like an official end to the war?
Well, if you remember, the surrender was all wrapped around the peace talks,
which was all wrapped around the League of Nations,
which America then went, no, not doing.
Yes.
Yeah, so it's slightly more complex than it was in Europe.
What with finally ending the war,
something that I'm sure he was very proud of doing.
He could probably put that in his...
Single-handedly.
Put that on his tombstone.
Yeah, with that done,
let's turn to one of the more pressing problems,
he thought, the economy.
So, what should we do about the economy?
He asked his cabinet.
Well, Mellon had a suggestion here.
Mellon suggested that the, you know,
the taxes that had been really hiked up during the
war, we should really start to bring those down a lot. Like, a lot. So can we, like, really bring
down those taxes? And dammit, also, he was a Republican, and if Republicans stood for one
thing, it was tariffs. So let's start hiking the tariffs back up, shall we? We've not talked about
tariffs enough recently, he said.
No.
Yeah, the hike in tariffs would offset the reduction in taxes
and would also help protect farmers who were struggling at the moment.
That was his idea.
Harding was less than convinced.
In fact, I'll quote him,
I can't make a damn thing out of this tax problem.
I listen to one side and they seem right,
and then, God, I talk to the other side
and they seem just as right.
So he didn't know what to do.
So Harding, all due credit to him here,
does a very rare act for a politician.
Tells the truth.
No, no, not that.
And to be fair, many politicians tell the truth.
It's just at a convenient time.
Yeah, yeah.
Very quietly under their breath.
He sought some expert advice.
What?
And let me be really clear here.
He didn't seek an expert to agree with him.
He genuinely sought an expert to learn from.
Wow.
Yeah, I know.
So he didn't get all the research and cherry pick the things that fit his agenda? No, no, he didn't make up his mind and then just go, no, no. He went to an expert and went, I don't think I know enough about this. Can you teach me some more? Wow. culbertson uh which is a good name
a man with a phd in economics from yale harding became convinced just as mckinley had in the end
that the high tariffs ultimately did more harm than good if the united states was going to be
a global power it needed to dominate the global market something it cannot do behind a wall of
tariffs it's like it's time to leave the tariffs behind, something it cannot do behind a wall of tariffs.
It's time to leave the tariffs behind, guys. They've served their purpose.
We can't be the party of high tariffs anymore. Now, debate and arguing over what to do with the economy wrangled on for the next year or so. In the end, a compromise over tariffs was created,
and as per usual with compromises in politics, it angered more than it brought together.
usual compromises in politics, it angered more than it brought together. However, tariffs were just one part of the economy, because obviously taxes were the other part. And Mellon, you'll be
amazed to learn, you know Mellon, second richest man in the country? Yeah. He had views on taxes.
Of course he did. Yeah, yeah. Because tariffs, you can pretty much get the consumers to pay for those.
But taxes, that's kind of down to, like, him.
Yeah.
And he certainly had some views on taxes.
So Mellon put forth the argument that if the government wanted to raise money,
because obviously the government really needs to raise some money after the war,
he's got a brilliant idea.
What we need to do, ladies and gentlemen,
to gain money is lower the taxes.
Oh.
Yeah.
We saw a very similar argument from the Republicans
over tariffs at one point.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, now, obviously this sounds counterintuitive,
but bear with me, he said.
If we lower the taxes, people might actually start paying them instead of avoiding them.
Because I know I certainly avoid them at the moment.
They're far too high.
Mellon had even found a study that agreed with him that he'd paid for.
So we really should lower the taxes, especially for the rich.
And that way we'll get more money.
More people have more money to spend as well.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Now, I'm being very flippant.
There are genuinely strong economic arguments
for lowering taxes to raise money.
It has been argued by people who know far more about the economy than I do
that this does work in certain cases.
We've come across Roman emperors in the past.
Julian, I believe, your favourite, suggested lowering taxes to raise money certain cases we've come across roman emperors in the past julian i believe your favorite uh
suggested lowering taxes to raise money and it worked for him in what an idiot what an idiot
however there's also a very strong argument to say that the rich people who are avoiding the taxes
now when you lower them they're just going to carry on avoiding the taxes it's really have a
better tax collection system yeah maybe actually just avoiding the taxes. It's really... Have a better tax collection system.
Yeah, maybe actually just collect the taxes.
Maybe we should start collecting the taxes.
So to sum up, there were arguments for,
there were arguments against lowering the taxes.
And to cut a long story short,
a very large tax cut for the rich was proposed.
Oh, fantastic.
Yes.
Isn't that similar to what happened last year?
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, I think it's technically the year before now.
But yeah.
It is a genuine economic theory.
Let the richest off as much as possible
and it will trickle down to everyone else.
So who recommended this?
Was it the rich advisor?
It was, yes, it was the second
richest man in the country.
It was, after all, the only
way to help the struggling families.
Of course, yeah.
Anyway,
all the arguments over the economy
however hit a wall in the Senate
because people didn't want to talk
about the economy or tariffs or
taxes. They wanted to talk about the economy or tariffs or taxes. They wanted to
talk about the veterans. Because widespread feeling had developed throughout the land
that these shell-shocked, traumatized soldiers who had survived living hell in Europe fighting
for their country should perhaps get something in return. Yeah. I mean, that was a really bad war.
Maybe we should do a little bit for some of these guys coming back, maybe?
A little bit?
And many, many agreed from all different levels.
In fact, many states had agreed to pay the troops a bonus.
But the capital was now under pressure to do so at a national level.
Not just individual states.
Make this official nationally.
Let's do this for everyone.
The idea of bonuses, like I said, very popular throughout
the country. However, Harding
had a problem. It would
cost a fortune.
Like, a serious amount of money.
So much so, him and Mellon
had been having a chat. They wouldn't be able
to afford the tax cut for the
rich. Oh no.
Which, obviously the tax cut for the rich oh no which obviously the tax cut for the rich was
going to make money honestly don't ask too closely why spending money somewhere else would
stop him from being able to do something that apparently generates funds because if you ask
that it doesn't make any sense at all it just makes it so don't ask that question. The fact is, if we paid the troops a bonus,
we can't have the tax cut.
And Mellon, like I say, particularly not happy
with the idea of giving soldiers a bonus
when these tax cuts were on the line.
He put the entire weight of the Treasury
behind attempting to convince everyone in Washington
that the bonus was simply too expensive.
We can't do it.
It's not clear how many Mellon convinced,
but he certainly convinced Harding,
who headed personally to the Senate himself as president.
Being an ex-senator meant he didn't need to be invited.
He could just head over there.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
And he gave a speech.
It would be, and I quote,
a disaster to the nation's finances, to give the bonus.
Plus, no tax cut, guys. No tax cut.
You'll be shocked to learn that the room full of incredibly rich men listened to that last part that was whispered.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you remember the quote from the start about the country never?
Oh, about being a generous country.
Generous country, was it?
Never forgets.
Never forgetting.
Right, OK.
Regretting generous.
Progressives from both parties started to realise that this presidency wasn't going to be good for them.
This isn't looking good.
No.
However, many thought that the president had made some good points.
The press also thought that the president argued very well good points. The press also thought that the president
argued very well with outstanding courage and patriotism. The press reported that. The papers
owned by the really rich businessmen. Yeah. So for now, the veteran bill was dead. No bonuses for
the troops. I probably should, for impartiality's sake, point out that Harding did argue that we are already doing
several things for the veterans. And some things were put in place for the veterans, but it didn't
amount to what the bonuses would be. Yeah, they got medals. There was some financial support,
but it just wasn't the same. So that's the economy sorted out, or at least the tax break
for the rich is sorted. And what's the difference? So what's the next sorted out, or at least the tax break for the rich is sorted.
And what's the difference?
So what's the next problem, thought Harding?
Oh yes, the workforce of the country.
This is the one you mentioned.
This is where you would have started.
They're still very angry about the fact that they were working all hours under the sun
in dangerous conditions and were still struggling to feed their children.
There had been a bit of a forced truce during the war,
which I mentioned during Wilson's episode,
between the workers and the company owners.
If you remember, Wilson had essentially said,
stop arguing or I will come and take over the companies
and give the workers what they want.
Ooh.
Which the business owners went, oh dear.
Okay, fine, fine, fine. For for the war we will do this yeah the
companies reluctantly temporarily give in still the war was over now surely it's time to put the
workers back in their place now on the other side many workers in the country and of course by
workers i mean a majority of all americans who lived in a city well they'd never had it quite
so good i don't get me wrong, things were still pretty bad,
but the war had given them leverage,
and conditions were starting to improve.
And they were determined not to lose the ground gained.
Yeah, fair enough.
Now, due to this, anger started to flare up once more
as the companies started to strip away all the rights
that they'd gained during the war.
Now, Harding, owner of a newspaper, remember,
had certain views on unions and workforces.
He was more than happy for unions to exist.
In fact, he had encouraged the one that had started up in his newspaper.
A workers' union was a good thing.
It showed that the workforce were united.
They had a voice and a say.
However... However... The workforce were united. They had a voice and a say. However, Harding had no time for dangerous demagogues,
communists probably, you know,
who interfered with an American's right to work.
In other words, Harding was more than happy for unions to exist
as long as they did nothing to disrupt productivity,
which is kind of the only thing a union has.
That's their leverage.
Things were getting worse,
and 1922 saw two of the largest strikes in the country's history.
To begin with, half a million coal miners put down their tools.
That's a big strike.
Yeah, especially when the country literally runs on coal as well.
Yeah.
The coal mine owners, in an attempt to weaken the unions,
had cut wages, blaming it on the economy.
We can't possibly afford to pay you.
Sorry, we've got to lower the wages and maybe let certain people go.
The workers seeing this put down their tools.
They also demanded a five-day
week and a six-hour working day.
Mining is a dangerous
business. Hard work.
Six hours is more than enough time to be
down a mine in one shift.
The owners wanted to keep the six-day
working week and the eight-hour day
instead. Oh, with reduced
wages as well. Everyone has to take a pay cut.
Oh. Yeah. As you can imagine,
the disruption was widespread. Harding, believing it was not the job of the president to get
involved in private businesses, tried to stay out of things. But he also realised he was the
president of a country that was grinding to a halt, so he had to do something. So he starts to
work behind the scenes in an attempt to compromise.
But then the Railway Labour Board approved a suggested 12% wage cut to all rail workers.
That's a painful pay cut.
That is.
Around 400,000 railway workers went on strike.
So we're talking almost a million workers now in total if you
combine these two strikes. The coal and rail industries struggled on with replacement workers
being drafted in and as you can imagine violence starts to erupt as men started to cross picket
lines. Just to add another level by the way into wonderful, fun part of misery. In many areas,
black workers were not
allowed in unions.
Or, if they were, had a
lower rank within the union, based
purely on the colour of their skin.
So therefore, most black workers
had very little incentive to join
the strikes.
They wouldn't gain anything from it.
So therefore, most black workers would cross the
picket lines because they needed to feed their families and they would get nothing from the
strike. This led to lots more racial tension in a country that was already rife with racial tension.
All thanks to the fact that the racism to begin with made sure that black people weren't allowed
in the unions. So that's a lovely spiral of hatred and racism for you right there.
Anyway, that's just a wonderful side note.
Harding was still working on the coal problem.
He threatened to take over the businesses to get the coal owners to meet him,
just like Wilson had.
In a meeting with the head of the unions and the coal businesses,
Harding suggested, and this was his grand idea,
everyone goes back to work under the current conditions, and I, as your president, will set up a committee to figure out what's fair.
The workers essentially laughed at this idea.
What do you mean, what's fair? Are you talking a committee
like the rail board? No thanks. You may not have noticed but I mentioned the rail board a moment
ago. The rail board were the ones who had decided on the 12% wage decrease. Yeah. Yeah the rail board
was this committee stage for the rail. Harding was just proposing that the coal industry have
a board as well. Yeah. Well have a board as well yeah well the rail
board wasn't working for the rail workers so why would one work for the coal workers
no thanks was the reply from the coal workers hell no and angry harding publicly thanked the
coal mine owners for being responsive to an agreement and then wrote governors of the states
throughout the country assuring them that they would have federal support if they needed to, and I quote,
maintain law and order.
Oh.
Yeah.
You can imagine that being written in capital letters as well, couldn't you?
Yeah.
Just law and order, exclamation mark.
So that's the coal strike.
The rail strike was a bit more complex, however.
Like I say, there's already a governmental board deciding
what was fair, and it was their proposals that was being disputed. So Harding asked for them to
look again, perhaps, maybe have another look. Like, check no one carried the decimal point or
something. The board suggested, essentially, why don't we all pretend that this didn't happen,
and we just go back to how things were? Can do that can we hit a reset button here is that possible strike
leaders would get to go back to work uh and there would be no repercussions for them in this case
it wasn't the workers it was the owners rejected the idea the business owners hated the idea of these union
leaders who were just
stirring up trouble, still being on their
paycheck. Too powerful.
Yeah. The cabinet could not decide
what to do to end these strikes.
The Attorney General,
the aforementioned Doherty
from last episode, he declared
that all of these
union leaders were dangerous communists
and should all be thrown in jail.
Oh.
Harding could not help but feel
that perhaps this would just escalate the situation.
So what if they start throwing people in jail
for merely demanding better wages?
Yeah.
So maybe we'll put it on the list, Oggety, but maybe. Maybe eighth on the list.
Yeah. After killing them. Harding instead was convinced that an independent commission was
definitely the only way forward. Oh no. Yeah. Keep the can down the road. Definitely. Violence was
getting worse. People were starting to be killed for crossing picket lines or for striking.
Violence on all sides
here. Some
local government, whose support varied
for the strikes, were refusing
to prosecute the killers
depending on who they agreed with.
Yeah. So like
murders were going unpunished because
the people in charge of the law were saying
well, they were striking, so they deserved it.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
Harding, becoming desperate, fully considered just nationalising the railways
and then breaking up the unions.
In other words, destroying everything.
Like, fine, this is why we can't have nice things.
No one gets anything.
But it became clear that Congress would never allow that.
That just wasn't viable.
You can't just etch a sketch of this.
You've got to actually solve it.
So in the end, in August of 1922,
the president and several cabinet members,
and also some prominent senators,
boarded the presidential yacht and spent three days discussing the issue.
We have no idea what they talked about.
Of course not.
Because to keep everyone safe, no record was kept.
However, it soon became clear what was discussed soon afterwards,
or at least the broad strokes,
because a plan was put in action to find that the strikes were illegal.
Any evidence of the mail being delayed, destroyed, or whatever was gathered.
This made it a federal issue.
These strikers were destroying federal mail, damn it.
So the federal government needs to get involved.
Then the Attorney General, Doherty, declared that the strikes were conducting,
and I quote, a conspiracy worthy of Lenin.
Yeah, we're full on Red Scaring now.
Yeah.
With speed, injunctions were passed.
With the strikes illegal and the National Guard called out
to enforce the illegality of the strikes,
the strikes was literally beaten down.
Wow.
Harding got a bit of bad press for this, but he defended himself.
So the average American man could now choose.
Choose between working for very little pay or choosing not to work at all so that's nice choice
hooray yeah it should be said obviously that not everyone was unhappy with uh this move of breaking
up the strikes because of course if your business was being affected by the strikes you would have
supported anything to end the strikes and this ended the strikes so yeah okay it's not great for the the
workers in the coal mines or on the railways but my shop's been suffering and now i can actually
run my business again so fine whatever as long as it's finished so actually harding didn't take too
much of hit from this but he certainly did in some sectors the attorney general doherty however he was
instrumental in most of this, and this move was
so unpopular with many, he was actually
impeached. Really? Yeah. A bill
of impeachment was drawn up against him. He defeated it.
He'd survived it, but yeah.
Not great.
So, there you go. Strike
sorted. That's number two.
Ticked off. Meanwhile,
in the White House, Harding was continuing
his affair, obviously. Jerry! Well, Nan was brought into the White House, Harding was continuing his affair, obviously.
Jerry!
Well, Nan was brought into the White House by backdoors by the trusted secret serviceman
that was in charge of doing this. This was pretty much his job.
Ironically, he's named Jerry as well.
Tim, actually.
Oh, Tim.
If I remember that correctly, I've not written it down. Yeah, Harding and Nan would talk
briefly in his office around things. Yeah've not written it down. Yeah, Harding and Nan would talk briefly in his
office around things. Yeah, private meeting though. Well, no, it wasn't that private. Harding was
nervous that people could walk in. No intimate affairs took place, shall we say. As far as I
can tell, apart from that very first time right at the start in a cupboard,
all meetings afterwards were just Nan coming along and them having a talk, a bit of a kiss and a cuddle when they thought no one was walking. However, and perhaps partly because of this and
also for various other reasons, Nan at this time was very miserable. She felt very guilty about the
fact that she had allowed her sister to adopt
her daughter. She started to realise at this point that her future with Harding was going nowhere.
I mean, she was infatuated by Harding, but this clearly isn't what I want, was her thoughts.
So she told Harding that she was thinking of getting married. If she could get married,
then she could get her daughter back and actually like, actually have a family life rather than being shipped off to the White House whenever Harding wanted, I don't know, a, of course not. Harding grabbed her hand and then told her that it would be,
and I quote, grossly unfair to the man for her to marry someone.
So a guilty Nan promised Harding that she would never love anyone else but him.
Nan's book's full of meetings like this.
She would express her unhappiness,
and Harding would get her to promise that she loved him and no one else.
Then he would give her some money, tell her to be quiet with it,
and then send her on her way, yet again.
Very controlling behaviour, isn't it?
Incredibly.
It's quite a disturbing read, reading Nan's book.
I didn't get time to read it cover to cover,
but I read everything during the time we're talking about here,
and it's not a pleasant read, let's just say that.
One time she mentioned that she kept a diary,
and the Harding freaked out slightly
and made her promise that she would burn it as soon as she got home,
which she did so.
However, she said that these meetings and these partings
always, and I quote,
stirred up the feeling of uncompleteness.
So, uh...
Like unfinished business.
Yeah, it's not.
The affair's not going well.
No.
So that's going on in the background.
Harding sends Nan on her way once more.
And what's next?
Sorted the economy out.
Sorted the strikes out.
What else do we need to sort out?
Oh, yes.
The race riots.
Oh, yeah. riots. Oh yeah.
Yeah. At the start of the presidency, Harding had declared that
the lynchings, they've really
got to stop. I'll quote, barbaric
and a stain on a free democracy
is how he put it. They're just
not on. He met with James Whedon
Johnson, a leader at
the NAACP.
Thank you for listeners for getting in contact, pointing out
that you don't say N-A-A-C-P. It's N-A-A-C-P, which makes a lot of sense. That one was off
the tongue better. But how you said it is not inaccurate. It's not inaccurate, but it's certainly
better to say N-A-A-C-P. It just flows better. You could say Nackp. You could say knackp. But again, it doesn't really flow.
Harding and James Johnson got on well. Harding was willing to formally admit that peonage existed.
Peonage, by the way. You come across peonage before? It's not just an amusing sounding word.
It sounds like it's a bird. No, it's not a type of bird.
Peonage is when a debtor is forced to work off a debt until it was fully paid.
Or in other words, slavery.
Oh.
Oh, yes.
Harding had looked into this.
And he and Doherty had made some inquiries and found that Peonage, and I quote her,
existed to a shocking extent in Georgia, Alabama, and in some parts of Texas.
Southern states.
Yeah, that's right.
We are in the 1920s and still talking about debtors' prison slavery.
It's still happening.
Yeah.
In fact, I'll give you an example of Peonage at the time.
This is the story of
Martin Tabbert. Martin Tabbert was arrested for vagrancy. He was on a train without a ticket.
A vagrant. So he was arrested. He wrote home to his parents, please send the money and something
for me to get home. And his did so they sent fifty dollars along however
the money disappeared in transit somehow also completely unrelated i'm sure did i mention that
the sheriff earned twenty dollars for every criminal leased out to a company martin was
sold to a lumber company he couldn't pay for his train ticket.
He was in debt, so therefore he was leased out, shall we say.
He was sold to a lumber company.
Angered by his treatment, Martin didn't fully comply.
He wasn't pleased, understandably.
So he was whipped to death.
Bloody hell.
Oh, yeah.
Do you want to know the main reason why we know so much of Martin's story?
Go on.
Martin's white.
Oh.
Yeah.
So the story was picked up by the New York World newspaper,
and people were appalled.
How dare they could treat a human being that way?
Yeah, exactly.
It was picked up on in a big way.
But obviously, a vast, vast majority of peons were black men in the South.
There are reports of businesses organising men to go and round up vagrants,
anyone we can accuse of being vagrants, handing them to the sheriff's department,
and then the sheriff's department would immediately lease them back to the companies.
So you've just got gangs of people paid by companies
rounding people up and putting them into slavery. That is insane. Yeah so that's going on and Harding
looked into it and found out yes I'll say the quote again it existed to a shocking extent
i.e. it existed. So there you go that's the president of the united states actually
acknowledging that it existed which is certainly more than wilson was ever gonna do yeah so that's
good so now he's acknowledged it does he make any attempt to do anything well as awful as the
continuation of slavery was let's get to the lynchings first, was the thoughts. Let's get that sorted and then we'll
move on to the fact that people are still being enslaved. Harding had been informed that there had
been 3,436 confirmed lynchings in the past 20 years, and that's obviously just the confirmed
ones. Harding was determined to do something about it, So an anti-lynching bill was put together.
Now, this has been being worked on for a while.
In fact, 20 years earlier, one of the first black congressmen had come up with an anti-lynching bill, but it had gone nowhere.
But this one had been worked on behind the scenes for a few years by people working with and for the NAACP. They'd worked very hard to dispel the myth
that most victims of lynchings were black rapists of white women. That was the myth that was put
around at the time. The only reasons why lynchings are happening is because these are rapists and
they get what they deserve. So a lot of time and effort was put into demythifying this.
And sure enough, after a lot of academic work,
it was discovered that no, a vast majority of people lynched
and never had been accused of any kind of sexual crime whatsoever.
No, a vast majority of people lynched were simply lynched because they were black.
That's not to say other people weren't lynched at all. A large number of white people and Chinese
people were lynched as well, but black people certainly got the vast majority of the lynchings.
So a man named Leonidas Dyer, which is a damn good name, he represented a majority black district,
a damn good name. He represented a majority black district, so he was very passionate about this,
and he introduced the anti-lynching bill. The bill was not to go after the murderers,
because there's already a law in place for that. You're not allowed to just kill people.
So instead, this was going to go after the people who were allowing it to take place.
It was aimed at the policemen, the politicians.
For example, this bill said that anyone who could have prosecuted a lynching but had decided not to would have a sentence of five years in prison or $5,000 for a fine.
So you've got to prosecute.
for a fine.
So you've got to prosecute.
Also, the same fine or time in prison would be given to anyone who allowed the act to take place.
This is aimed at the policeman who was standing by and watching.
The county that the lynching took place in
would automatically be fined $10,000
and the money would be given to the family.
Wow. Wow.
Yeah.
That's good incentive.
Yeah, yeah.
These are good, strong incentives.
You're going to get people starting to take lynchings a bit more seriously
when these are put in place.
Harding, fully approving of this bill,
headed to Birmingham, Alabama to give a speech on it.
It was a large, mixed group of people.
We're talking tens of thousands of people
went to go and watch this speech.
Obviously a segregated audience in Birmingham, Alabama at the time,
but still very much a mixed audience.
He spoke of economic equality between the races
and really stressed that when he meant equal,
he meant actual equality here.
In fact, I'll quote him, to the extent that I would mean if I spoke of equality
of economic opportunity between members of the same race. He then went further and said,
I would say, let the black man vote when he is fit to vote and prohibit the white man from voting when he is unfit.
So making it really clear, when he's talking equality, he means it.
As you can imagine, the white section of the crowd were not best pleased.
They stood in a stony silence, apparently.
Harding noticed this and pointed directly at them.
Whether you like it or not, unless our democracy is a lie,
you must stand for that equality.
That's tough speaking.
Yeah.
I'm actually impressed.
Some good points for Harding there.
Yeah.
He is, unlike the first two on the list,
you get the feeling he is genuinely trying to sort something out here.
As we will see how successful things are.
Oh, yeah.
But you get the impression Harding actually wants to do something.
Of course, as hopeful as everything seems,
the anti-lynching bill just stalls in Congress.
Southern Democrats filibustered.
The bill did not pass.
This is something we will see time and time again,
and we won't have time to cover every single time up until the 1960s
that an anti-lynching bill attempts to pass where it is just filibustered by southern politicians
but it happens a lot bloody hell wow uh yeah that's the bill to stop people dying and being
murdered yeah it's it's it's very hard to defend this i'd say it's impossible, but I don't know. People just chatted away about stuff. So there
you go. Still,
Harding's done what he can in that
area, and more personal
things are starting to occupy his time.
Florence's floating kidney
was causing problems once more. I remember that.
Remember she had a floating kidney? Yeah, it's just above
her left ear, isn't it? Just hovering.
Yeah, yeah.
They put a little lead on it and everything.
Yeah, she became severely ill.
People started to fear she was about to die.
Like, seriously, death's door kind of ill.
So it was around this time that Harding arranged to meet with Nan once more.
Jerry wants to say hi. Well, hinting that there's a very good chance that he'd be able to actually spend the night with
her uh yeah because uh florence will be busy what a son of a yeah nan in her book gives a very
detailed account of the meeting between them at this time like this runs on for pages the whole
conversation that goes between them which perhaps makes it a bit dubious since she wrote it several years after this meeting took place.
But I imagine the gist is roughly correct.
A few months previously, Harding had written to Nan,
telling her that he was very disappointed
having not been with her intimately
since the start of his presidency.
He had sent her $250 for her to buy her own Christmas present,
again with the warnings of not being too flashy. Nan had spent it on jewels for herself and toys for their daughter.
Like I say, Harding then wrote to Nan to say, yeah, I'm gonna have a bit of free time. I won't
be being watched quite as much. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. So Nan got the message she went out and uh purchased herself some nice fancy clothing
and then headed to washington fully expecting to be able to spend the night however when she got
there she found a very despondent harding nan reports that harding had a full-on cold at this
time but if you actually look into it,
it's possibly more likely that Harding is just incredibly stressed,
is really suffering.
Florence is on death's door.
There was a good chance that he wrote to Nan saying,
I might be able to have some spare time before Florence got really ill,
and he is now actually genuinely really worried about his wife.
And there's some other things going on in the background
that we'll talk about in a bit
that might be worrying Harding as well.
Let's just say Harding's a bit stressed.
Well, that's going to make it hard for Jerry as well.
Well, it certainly is.
Actually, it wouldn't at all.
Nan's seeing that Harding wasn't himself,
puts aside her disappointment
that it's obvious she's not staying the night,
and tells Harding he should get away from the presidency. He should just leave. himself. Puts aside her disappointment that it's obvious she's not staying the night and
tells Harding he should get away from the presidency. He should just leave. He's clearly
miserable. Harding apparently replied, no, I'm in jail and I cannot get out.
I've got to bear this. I've got to do it.
He talked about how Nan must not cause any reason for people to suspect them a bit more. This was obviously a common theme between the two of them when they talked.
But this time Nan got very angered.
She'd come all the way to Washington expecting a lot more than what she was getting,
which was just warnings of secrecy.
So she starts to raise her voice that she was not being treated well,
saying there have lived some men who would give up everything for their sweethearts.
Harding apparently replied,
Nan, I'm tired and I can do no more.
You must help me.
Our secret must not come out.
I would rather die than disappoint my party.
Apparently, Nan took this very well and cheered up.
Yeah, full-on infatuation with Harding.
She is miserable with the relationship because it's an awful relationship.
But she is infatuated and thinks he can do no wrong, is how it comes across.
He's doing everything wrong.
The two of them do lots of hugging and kissing that we don't really need to go into.
But yeah, they did that.
Apparently, Mr Harding was in knickers,
and I told him for the dozenth time how stunning he looked.
It's one of the better quotes from the passage.
He was in... Yeah, I looked it up.
That's the Google search and a half.
I mean, knickers as in knickerbockers,
as in like three-quarter length trousers.
I'm guessing I'm just struggling to imagine Harding
wearing three-quarter length trousers.
Or lacy underwear.
Or lacy underwear, for that matter.
But apparently he looks stunning.
You can judge for yourself when we come to canvasability.
Anyway, they make up, they talk.
Harding did the usual telling her how after the presidency
he definitely will look after their daughter,
but he can't right now.
And they parted with the usual goodbye,
when Harding would say, are you happy now, dearie?
And as per usual, Nan would reply, are you happy now, dearie? And as per usual,
Nan would reply,
I am happy, sweetheart.
And then usually say something along the lines of, I lied,
because she was miserable.
And the two never saw each other again.
That was the last time they saw each other. Really?
Yeah. Aww, that's probably
good news.
So, why is Harding so stressed?
Well, the economy.
It's not that.
The economy's recovering.
Yeah.
Well done, Harding.
Yeah.
Boom and bust economy.
Doing its stuff.
It's booming.
It's busting.
So, it's on the up at the moment.
So, things are starting to look good.
Yay.
So, it's not that.
However, it had come to Harding's attention that Forbes,
the head of the Veteran Bureau, was wringing the government dry.
Yeah.
Forbes had come up with a scheme.
The country was full of warehouses and army surpluses after the war.
Yeah.
We're not talking arms here.
We're talking things like towels, soap. Clothing. Yeah. We're not talking arms here, we're talking things like towels, soap.
Clothing. Yeah. Harding, slight tangent here, early on in his presidency had really pushed for a more
common sense approach to government spending. One way the government could save money was for
governmental departments to be more sensible. So the Bureau of Budget was created to deal with this,
headed by a man named Dawes. Dawes oversaw the governmental departments,
giving speeches on pointless waste. He literally went from department to department, giving speeches
on how they need to stop wasting so much money. He would take two identical brooms with him and
recount the story that the army had 350,000 spare brooms that were not being used, that looked like
this, and he held up one broom. The navy, however, needed 18,000
brooms that looked like this, and would hold up the other identical broom. And then he would point out
that the army brooms were wrapped in twine instead of wire, so according to an obscure rule, the navy
would not accept them, so went out and purchased brand new ones. Now, I couldn't find out whether
this story is true or not, but if it is, it's not going
to be stupidity. This is going to be more the fact that there was obviously an important man in the
broom industry with friends in high places. This is obviously a deliberate, let's make money. This
is typical Gilded Age stuff. This is, that's just still continuing on. Harding wanted to crack down
on stuff like this. Anyway, back to Forbes and the army surplus. Well, Forbes had obviously been listening to the idea of common sense finances.
He looked at all these warehouses full of surplus,
doing nothing but costing money to store.
Well, common sense then, let's sell them.
But who to?
Well, there were many options.
So he might as well sell them to the people who showed the most interest, shall we say.
Right.
Yeah.
So he started taking huge bribes to deliver contracts for selling off army surplus.
Harding got word of this and ordered Forbes to explain himself.
Forbes denied everything.
No, I'm not doing that.
Bribes? What?
Army surplus?
I don't know what you're talking
about. Harding made him promise not to sell any more of the army surplus. Forbes agreed to do so
and then carried on doing exactly what he was doing before, taking bribes and selling. Harding
found out once more. The president was utterly livid this time and once more ordered Forbes to
meet him. One story of this meeting has a reporter walking in on the room as Harding had Forbes by the throat and I quote,
as a dog would a rat, screaming, you double-crossing...
I'll bleep that out.
Harding told Forbes that he was fired. That's it, you gotta go.
Forbes begged to resign. Can I resign? And can I resign
when I'm in Europe? Because I'm due to go to Europe. Let me leave the city and then I'll resign
so I don't have to deal with the fallout. Harding agreed. Fine. As long as you're out, just get out
the city and resign. So that happens. But obviously, I mean, a politician resigns. Everyone knows what
happens. Soon, word's out. Forbes had been forced out for being into something dodgy.
No one knew quite what, but something dodgy had gone on.
And then one of Forbes' accomplices in the Veterans Bureau,
because obviously he wasn't doing this on his own,
this was a man named Kramer.
He shot himself in front of a bathroom mirror.
Oh.
Yeah.
Kramer and Forbes were known to be close.
Forbes had been fired and rushed off to Europe, Oh. Yeah. Kramer and Forbes were known to be close.
Forbes had been fired and rushed off to Europe,
and Kramer was found dead in his bathroom.
As you can imagine, the rumor mill starts up quite a bit.
I think it's more shocking the fact that Kramer wasn't even holding a gun at the time.
That's the most amazing thing.
And he shot himself in the back of the head.
It's incredible.
To be fair, it was the temple and it really does seem like a case of suicide.
And he tied his hands up to the chair and everything. It was amazing.
Well, the scandals were only just beginning, however. The next one to trouble the president was the actions of his friend in the Attorney General's office, Doherty.
Or rather, the actions of Doherty's close friend.
Perhaps boyfriend, they were very close,
but it's just not clear and impossible to tell through history.
But all we need to know is that the two were very close.
And this is a man named Smith.
So there's no way Smith was doing something and Doherty didn't know about it. Yeah. Smith was
Doherty's personal secretary. They lived together and Smith basically did anything that Doherty
needed doing in a kind of don't ask, don't tell, nudge, nudge kind of way. Occasionally the attorney
general needs to crease some wheels, needs to get some favours done and occasionally someone needs
to just go and make sure something happens. And, I mean, we all know that the best form of government is the form of government where
everything's done behind closed doors and no one keeps records. So, yeah, it's that kind of thing.
Anyway, Smith, with high-up connections, I mean, he'd often play cards with cabinet members and
even the president himself. Smith soon realised that he could use his talents and his connections
not just for Doherty
but also for himself.
So he started selling government
alcohol to bootleggers.
Remember alcohol,
selling of alcohol is now banned.
You can't do it. But there's obviously
a lot of alcohol around.
And some of it
just happened to belong to the government
and some of that happened to disappear.
We'll take care of that in the bathroom for you.
Yeah. Some
special licences happened to
exchange hands.
Some arrangements for paroles
also just occurred
as they do. Slip across desks.
Government fixes, shall we
say. Yeah. Smith became a fixer. Veryip across desks. Government fixes, shall we say.
Yeah, Smith became a fixer,
very much an illegal one.
And Harding found out what his friend's friend was up to
and made it very clear this needs to stop
because if this comes out,
this will be very damaging.
I play cards with the men.
This isn't a good look.
However, Doherty then arranged for Smith to be on the upcoming trip to
Alaska that Harding and he was going on. Harding found out and went, no, no, no, no, I want rid of
him. Can't come on a trip with me. He's up to all sorts. So no, it just can't happen. Doherty,
however, was really worried that Smith was suicidal for various reasons that we don't really have time to go into,
for personal finance reasons, health reasons.
But yeah, Smith was not in the best way at this time.
And then he found out that the president wanted him nowhere near Washington anymore.
Doherty was so worried that he asked a friend to stay with Smith overnight
just to make sure nothing happened.
He doesn't tie himself up to a chair
and shoot himself in the back of the head.
Yeah.
Ten weeks after the death of Kramer,
at 6.30 in the morning,
the body of Smith was found in his apartment,
his head in a paper bin.
He had been shot in the temple.
Oh.
Yeah.
What was he shot in the paper bin?
He probably, more than likely, shot himself,
fell over, and fell in the bin.
See, that would have been an amazing party joke.
Obviously, that doesn't make for as good as a story
as the rampant conspiracy theories that started to go wild.
Two suicides?
One with a bin on his head?
No way.
Obviously something sinister is going on.
I mean, the truth of the matter is almost certainly
that two men fearing being caught up in large governmental scandals
had just been driven to suicide,
which is tragic and often as it is without embellishing it.
But there were certainly people at the time who reached for a bigger story there.
Anyway, things not looking good for Harding around this time. But this is not the scandal
that Harding is remembered for. Because during this time, the two suicides and the people just ripping off the government,
some very, very
boring investigations were taking
place looking into the Department of the Interior.
In Wyoming, there was a
rock formation. This rock
formation looks a little bit like a teapot.
This teapot
sits on a dome-shaped hill
that happens to be full of oil.
And this hill happened to be on government land.
Right.
In 1912, Taft had made this oil part of the government's oil reserves.
This is officially government oil.
Right.
It's for the Navy.
We keep it in the ground where it is, but it's Navy oil.
Yeah.
Under Harding, the Teapot Dome Reserve, as it became known,
came under the protection of the Department of the Interior.
The Navy don't need to deal with this.
It's like, you can have it.
It's in the interior of the country.
You can have it.
Look after that.
Now, some scandals are very hard to follow and full of details,
and I have to really skirt over them.
But this one's really quite straightforward.
Fall was the Secretary of the Interior, if
you remember, and he realised he was sitting on a gold mine, or more literally, an oil
field. So he offered to lease the oil site, along with a couple of others, to a couple
of oil companies. No bidding took place, it was all done very quiet. Now, none of this is illegal, but it's all very suspicious.
The land that the oil companies were taking was land adjacent to the reserve
that was still under protection of the Department of the Interior.
It just happened to be very close to the government oil reserve.
So nothing wrong had happened, but it is a bit suspicious.
Why are you doing that, Paul?
It's so suspicious that when the Senate found out about this,
an investigation was put into place.
So just know that that's going on in the background.
Nothing happens yet, but there's a boring Senate investigation going on.
Harding, however, is on a trip.
He's off to Alaska.
Hooray.
Harding was very much looking forward to being the first president to step foot in
Alaska. Yeah.
That's exciting. However,
his health was suffering quite a bit.
It's the cold weather in Alaska. Well, it's before
he gets there. Yeah. Not only
is there all the stress of him trying to
keep all these various scandals under
wraps, his affair under wraps,
the fact that his wife is on death's
door, and the fact that the wife is on death's door and the fact that the
country is falling apart at the seams i mean there's all that going on but he's also had a bad
bout of the flu like a seriously bad bout of the flu as in the global pandemic's still knocking
around kind of bout of the flu yeah i mean we've moved on a couple of years, but obviously you've still got some serious flu strains going around.
So, yeah, he gets seriously ill.
Harding reluctantly ordered that events on the trip
be stripped down to the bare bones.
However, most were still worried about Florence's health.
Yeah, the president's in a bad way,
but Florence, I really don't think she should be coming on this trip,
was the opinion of the doctor.
This is Dr Sawyer.
So much did he think that Florence should not be going on this trip
that, unknown to either Florence or Harding,
Dr Sawyer ordered that a coffin go with them just in case it's needed.
That's not a good sign, is it?
It's not a good sign if you're packing a coffin on your holiday.
Yeah, that's a very negative
outlook it really is and imagine trying to get holiday insurance that absolutely not
just imagining harding and florence watching the coffin being packed onto the train it's
was that a coffin certainly coffin shapes did you order that i didn't order a coffin i felt a bit picky recently but yeah
anyway they set off harding seemed to get a bit better when they traveled he had incentive to
didn't he yes he in particular enjoyed himself in yellowstone where he spent a long time with
a group of very attractive young women who wanted to see him, apparently. A very irritated Florence snapped at her husband afterwards.
Warren, I watched while those young girls were here.
You took as long to say goodbye to those girls
as it did for you to run through 3,000 tourists yesterday at the Old Faithful.
And I'm not an idiot, I know exactly what Jerry is.
Yeah.
Anyway, they travelled to the East Coast and they sailed off to Alaska. The
trip went well enough considering the two of them were apparently at death's door.
Yeah both of them seem to perk up a little bit for a while however Harding starts to suffer a bit more
as the trip goes on. In fact by the time they're traveling south again and they've reached San
Francisco, Harding is only just able to walk from the train to the car waiting for him to take him
to the hotel. The doctor wanted a wheelchair to be used, but Harding refused. One of the doctors,
because many were on site by this point, it's very obvious that something is wrong with Harding.
So one of the doctors examined him. Not great news. There was a problem with Harding's heart. It was suspected that he'd
actually had a heart attack when he'd had the flu without realising it. In fact Dr Wilbur said to
Secretary Hoover that the president's chances were perhaps one in ten. Ooh. Yeah, not great.
I'm not going to say it's bad news, Mr. President,
but you do still have that coffin, don't you?
Good news.
I'm a kind of glass one-tenth full kind of guy, so who knows?
None of my other patients complain.
Well, nine out of ten don't.
Well, actually, I mean, maybe Harding should have been positive
because he starts to show signs of recovery.
Good.
In fact, so much that the same doctor turned his odds to nine in ten.
Yeah.
I really hope he didn't gamble much, this doctor.
Yeah.
Harding, in fact, was well enough to talk to a friend on the phone
to tell him, don't worry, I am out of the woods.
Turns out he wasn't out of the woods.
He was very much in the middle of the woods.
Dark, dark woods, because he died that night.
Really?
On a stroke.
Yeah.
That was sudden.
Yeah.
Probably what he just died.
Yeah.
This shocked the country.
America mourned for the president.
His popularity hit an all-time high.
For a while, people talked about Harding comparing him to Lincoln,
the great unifier.
However, this honeymoon period,
if you can call the period after you've just died a honeymoon,
it didn't last long for harding because you know
all the crap that he was desperately trying to keep under wraps throughout his uh entire presidency
did it soon yeah oh very much so yes the scandals start just splurging if we can continue that sound
effect uh to splurges out they do yeah uh To begin with, exactly what Forbes had been up to came out.
No-one realised it was quite that bad.
It's like, oh, that's like serious bribery.
That's...
That is quite illegal, sir.
Yeah, that's not slap-of-the-wrist stuff.
That's why he wasn't arrested and thrown in jail, kind of.
Why did Harding let him go off to europe and just retire oh and then details on on smith and doherty came out uh doherty
managed to get away with it just about but everyone knew what he was up to and then a few
weeks after harding's death a senate hearing that was scheduled to take place took place. No one was paying much attention.
It was just one of those boring investigations, something to do with the T-Dome lease.
After some investigation, however, it had been noticed that Secretary Fall had a ranch.
A failing ranch, or rather, it was a failing ranch,
because now it suddenly seemed to be doing really, really well.
Where's all this money come
from fall people started to ask yeah it all came out fall had been taking large bribes from oil
companies and selling off government reserves that again is is you could argue on the illegal
side of the legal spectrum very very very much so in fact the t-dome scandal became the watergate
of the age t-dome scandal was the byword for a scandal until watergate came along t-dome
t-dome yeah this one was big in the world of scandals uh oh gate no no it's a shame i quite
like it if all our scandals had dome on the end
or tea the wood tea in it would be good yeah this is good yeah but anyway so that comes out um
it becomes very clear that harding's government was just utterly utterly corrupt
then uh nan britain releases a book splendid Nan was devastated, utterly devastated, like I say.
Completely infatuated with Harding.
Not only that, Harding had promised her that when he was no longer president,
they would be together and he would look after their daughter.
We'll be a family.
Yeah.
And she believed him.
Yeah. Yeah, he did, didn't he? And she believed him. Mm.
Yeah.
And still believed him.
And saw no future for herself.
And thought the only way I can get anything from my daughter and myself now is by going public.
So she did a tell-all book, the first in history, for presidents anyway.
As I mentioned in the last episode, Scandalicious, I I think is the way to describe the book as it hit Washington.
And as I've also mentioned,
it didn't actually work out for Nan Britton, unfortunately.
She was called very many names and died
believing that no one would ever believe her.
But enough people believed some of the stories
that Harding's name went down even further in estimation.
Then, 40 years after his death,
the Jerry letters were discovered
and hastily sealed by a judge,
only to be opened recently.
So we've discovered them.
So Harding's reputation after his death,
nose pointed towards ground and just ploughed
into it. And kept on going.
Oh yes. So there
you go. That is President Harding.
Oh dear.
Oh dear, oh dear. Should we rate him?
We can try.
STATEMENTSHIP!
Okay, there's quite a bit to say in this section actually.
You can very easily argue the country
is in a better place
when his presidency ended than when he started.
However, it wasn't a complete mess when he started.
It was a low base level he was working from here.
And it was still a mess when he died, just slightly less of one.
A couple of things I didn't mention in the narrative, though,
that might help you judge him.
Harding was instrumental in a push for countries to enter a disarmament pact post-World War.
The idea was for Britain, the United States and Japan to agree to reduce their navies in line with each other quite significantly.
Several treaties were signed in a summit between various countries,
and those treaties were kept over the next few years
that you can argue helped
promote world peace.
Although the Great Depression would hinder
them from carrying on as we
move into the 30s. But yeah,
there was a genuine push from Harding to try
and get everyone just to chill out a bit
after the war. Now, considering he ran
on a campaign of not being in the League
of Nations,
this was him saying, no, we're not going to shut ourselves off from the world. We just don't want to be part of the League of Nations. So, there's that. Another positive, this one, not in the main
narrative, Harding was opposed to the continuing invasion of Central and Southern American countries
in the name of protection. Colombia was paid $25 million as a kind of
sorry for the whole invading and taking Panama thing that we did a while ago.
Wasn't put like that, obviously.
But that's what it was.
It was also, it should be pointed out,
under the condition that Colombia formally recognized Panama.
So it's like, yeah, Colombia, stop moaning that we invaded you and we'll give you
some cash. Colombia went, yeah,
okay then. Several southern
American countries wanted the United States
to formally renounce interventionalism.
It's like, stop
messing about with our economies
and taking us over, please.
America weren't
quite willing to do this.
Harding wanted to distance himself
from Wilson's interventionalism.
But you never
know what the future might hold.
So I'm not going to go as far to actually
denounce it.
I'm just going to say I wouldn't have done it
if I was Wilson.
He attempted to
do something on the race issue, which we did
cover. Not a huge amount
And also it didn't work
But it is better than we've seen by many presidents
It's certainly better than what Wilson did
Which was just to stoke it
Yes
So a little bit of credit there
I mean it's nice that Harding wasn't a massive racist.
Yes.
So anyway, mixed bag there, but some positives,
but there are some definite negatives.
In one of his first acts, Harding signed the Percentum Act.
This was a heavy, heavy restriction on immigration.
It wasn't a complete blanket ban on immigration, however,
because if you were the right sort of foreigner, you were welcome.
This is a bit like the, if you can add to our economy.
If by mean, if you can add to our economy by having white skin, then yes.
Oh, oh.
Yeah, I mean, not quite as cut and dry as that.
In this case, if you were Irish or German in particular, come on in.
Generally, Western Europe europe that's fine uh if you're
from africa or eastern europe however no no no definitely not uh just just don't even think about
it uh yeah in other words if you're black or seem vaguely communist you are not welcome right the
veterans bonus that we talked about remember remember? What was the quote? Attorney
generous? Yeah, generous nation
never forgets. Generous nation.
Yeah, yeah. If you
remember, Harding pushed for
it not to go through
and succeed it.
But then it came back, and it did
go through. It passed.
That's nice, isn't it? Yeah.
Harding vetoed it. Oh. Yeah, I was waiting for that, however. The veto stuck. That's nice, isn't it? Yeah. Harding vetoed it. Oh,
yeah. I was waiting for that, however.
The veto stuck. That did not make him
popular. The economy's much stronger
than when he started, but he had
completely screwed over most of the
country's workforce to get there.
As per usual, using
the economy as a
barometer of how good the
country's doing is very dubious at best just
because melon was pleased with his rich companies does not mean that steve and jill were living in
a happier better country at all and in fact most people were struggling just as much even if the
economy was technically better yeah you've only got a benefit living in the richest country in
the world if you're one of the rich yeah yeah it's like that it's that weird um i mean i don't make it too
modern politically even though we are in the modern times now um the the whole the obsession
with stock markets and the stocks are really up it's really great for the country it's like but
is it good for jeff living in wisconsin probably. I saw it recently described as the graph of rich
man's feelings, which I thought was an amazing way to describe the stock exchange. Yes, yeah,
very much so. I mean, that's not to say the economy is not important. Of course the economy
is important, but just saying the economy was stronger at the end of Harding's presidency,
so therefore he was a good president, is a weak argument.
But it is one I have seen in a few places.
And then obviously we've got the big thing.
It's the scandals.
These are corrupt government scandals.
He presided over an incredibly corrupt cabinet.
Historians that I've read very much give him a pass on this.
He didn't know about them.
And when he found out about them, he tried to do something about it.
But I'm sorry.
I'm sure someone said the book stops with the president.
Surely.
It's the kind of thing a president would say, isn't it?
Yeah, surely.
Yeah, yeah.
Harding's starting off the presidency saying,
we keep everything behind closed doors.
Don't ask, don't tell.
That way we can just get things done.
What did he expect?
That's just a green light to corruption.
Yeah, of course it is.
And everyone in his cabinet went away and corrupted away until their little hearts were content.
It's what happens when you don't have a transparent government.
So, yeah, I'm not giving him a pass at all on the corruption.
Absolutely not.
He created an environment where it was rife.
Yeah.
We're very much out of the Gilded Age, apparently.
This is very much seen as the Progressive Age.
I am still seeing...
It seems very gilded to me still.
It doesn't seem to have changed that much in my eyes.
I'm not seeing anything progressive other than the dipping toe in,
as in this is the way it should go.
There is some toe dippage, and there is some progress on workers' rights.
Obviously, women now have the vote.
That's a biggie.
Yeah, there are definitely some progressive things happening,
but it still seems very gilded.
Anyway, right, we've talked around this for a while.
Score?
Three.
You going that low?
So am I.
It's bad.
Interestingly, the main biography I used to do the research,
very pro-Harding, very much a revisionist,
saying everyone has seen Harding as useless throughout history,
but he's been viewed harshly, and this is why.
And some good points were made, but no, I'm sorry.
He was not a good president.
Not good enough.
He just wasn't. Right, we're on to the next one wow it's not good is it oh yeah well let's start with uh
the affair with carrie uh gets us the frankly hilarious letters and the mentions of jerry i
mean that that's just that's just some good old-fashioned... It's almost hilarious. It's not
scandalous at all. It's awful. Just that's funny. You got caught out and it's hilarious. See,
interestingly, it's stuff like this that in our Roman series we award positive points for
in the equivalent opprobrium-crasium round. I'm not convinced we can give him negative points,
or at least too many for that.
And in fact, it seems almost mean, since he gave us a few chuckles.
That said, there were also hints that Carrie certainly wasn't the only woman he was seeing at the time.
He seems to be a full-on womaniser.
Not great, but again, we've certainly seen worse in this round.
Yes.
But then things start to really take a bit more of a dodgy turn
when we get to nan a young woman 30 years his junior the affair with carrie and jerry is the
one that always gets mentioned because it's the humorous story so that's the reason why we spent
so long talking about it of course we're going to talk about it it's the kind of stuff that makes
looking into history good if we can't talk about funny things like Jerry, then what's the point? However, the affair with Nan is where you get the sense of who Harding
was actually like as a person. He was an emotionally abusive womanizer. Like I said
in the main episode, reading Nan Britton's book is painful. It's full of him stringing along a young
infatuated woman with lies of a better future,
whilst paying her off with money and a promise to look after their daughter,
who he never had any intention of ever seeing.
It is clear that Nan fully believed, even after his death,
that Harding fully wanted to leave his wife for her, and it's just simply not true.
Yeah, there's no way.
Yeah, Harding is known for the Teapot Dome scandal,
a scandal he probably didn't know the details of. He is also known for the Jerry letters,
but I think if we're going to judge him as a person in this round, it's the way he treated
Nam Britain. Horribly. Horribly, yeah. He was just a nasty, manipulative man. That said,
we've seen worse, because we've had nasty, horrible, manipulative man that said we've seen worse because we've had nasty horrible
manipulative men before who were also advocating genocide so i don't think we can go into the
full mark territory no but this this is a conversation we'll need to have at some point
because there's no like like okay for example when we get to trump yeah um you know he's not
a slave owner he's not but i think what you can say is we have a sense in today's,
in modern society, that things are somehow better now.
And you can't judge the past by moral standards of today
because we've somehow got better.
We're now enlightened.
I would argue that's not true at all.
I think we can judge the more modern presidents
for not having slavery and advocating genocide
because they didn't have slavery and advocate genocide yeah and i think we can find very modern presidents
that border on advocating genocide and judge them just as harshly as the old ones they absolutely
can't do it we've had this conversation a few times and i'm sticking with it i'm saying judge
the old ones and the new ones alike they're all human beings. They all knew that what they were saying harmed other people.
How they justified it to themselves is irrelevant.
That's a fair summation, I think.
So there's nothing upper score here for me
because it is a singular event, but it is not nice.
Harding does not come across as a nice person at all.
I'm going to go five.
Yeah, I was thinking minus five or minus six,
so I'll match your five, I think.
So that's minus ten for Disgrace Game.
Silver screen.
Born to a pair of parents attempting to become medical doctors.
Got into the publishing business.
Became a printer's devil.
Remember he was a young whippersnapper of a boy.
Got an apprenticeship.
Went to college.
Did well enough.
Bought a newspaper.
Made something of a newspaper.
Became popular in the town of Marion.
And then the story of how he got together with Florence is just brilliant.
Oh, with the rich guy.
His awful father-in-law, Amos Kling.
The almost Romeo and Juliet parallels of The Forbidden Love.
You've got lots of good stuff there.
And then he goes into politics, and then it all goes downhill.
He becomes a senator in the state, then a senator in Congress.
He starts his affair with Nan.
He has a child that
he refuses to acknowledge.
He becomes president. Nothing huge
happens during his presidency
that is silver screen worthy, I would argue.
I mean, those
scandals. If you want
to, you could go
into the unlikely
conspiracy direction with the deaths of
Smith and Kramer. You could certainly get some interesting story out of it.
So there's a possibility there.
So it's not bad.
And there was some glimmers of really interesting story,
but it's not consistent throughout.
Oh yeah, he died.
I forgot that part.
Died suddenly, which is quite good
in a kind of story, kind of dramatic.
It's like, surely he's not going to die.
Oh, he's died.
Yeah, we've certainly seen worse. We have seen better.
Yes. I think the whole...
It's going to focus around the whole affair thing, isn't it?
You could go slapstick with it, or you could just go heartbroken Florence.
Yeah.
Yeah, if I was making a film,
it would not be his presidency at all.
It would just be him and Florence getting together.
That's what you need.
Them getting married,
them defeating Florence's father,
and then it could end with the realisation
that neither of them actually love each other.
Yeah.
It was all just to annoy Amos,
which is not necessarily true,
I should hasten to add.
That is just one way you could read it,
which would just make for a good true, I should hasten to add. That is just one way you could read it, which
would just make for a good story, I feel.
Yeah, um,
five? I was thinking five, yeah.
Yeah, maybe six, because
yeah, no, I'm going to go for six.
It's not amazing, but I think it's slightly better
than average. Yeah, I'm going six.
Permissibility!
There you go. That is Warren
G. Harding.
Oh, that's interesting.
It looks like he's standing in the field in the forest,
in the woods.
He's still in the middle of the woods.
He's not out of it.
Yeah, I think that literally is what that is
because you can see the White House in a gap
and some of the leaves.
Oh, is it the White House?
Oh, it might be the Capitol Building, actually.
That makes more sense
since that's the dome of the Capitol Building,
not the White House, but yes.
His hands seem to be very protective of Jerry.
He's clasping his hands in front of him, isn't he?
Yes.
Yes.
Is that how you imagined him to look?
He looks...
Looking at the photograph next to it,
he looks quite aged.
He doesn't look sprightly at all in that painting oh that's because
he wasn't he was not sprightly he's a he's a granddad by this point not literally but he's
a granddad figure with his mistress in her early 20s yeah it's uh it's all a bit yeah
it looks even more it just highlights it even more it It's really dodgy, isn't it? Yeah, no, it's really not good.
Anyway, the painting...
I like the waistcoat.
I like the white trim of the waistcoat.
That's good.
It's got a tie on.
It's starting to really look modern now, aren't we?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's...
I'd actually call that a tie
rather than some kind of weird quiverty type thing.
Yeah, it's got kind of the 20s,
sort of the curled ends of the shirt collar.
There's something slightly sad
about the way he looks though, isn't there?
Yeah.
And if someone said,
I'm going to paint you in front of a bunch of trees,
I wouldn't expect it to look quite so drab.
I'm not loving it.
He just looks like a sad old man.
Yeah, I'm going to give him a three.
I'm giving him a two.
Fair enough.
So that is 1.25.
Bonus!
Terms, none.
Oh yeah, didn't do a full term.
No, no points there. Assassination,
none. No one killed him, no one
tried to kill him. Oh dear. Election,
two. Remember, he won in a
landslide. Yep. So there we go, two
bonus points in total.
That's a bit of a grimace you've just done there, Jamie.
I get the impression he's not done well.
How bad are we talking?
Do I need to remind the listeners of our lowest scores?
Well, he's not in minus numbers.
Right, he's not in minus numbers.
So he's no James Buchanan or Andrew Johnson or John Tyler.
There are three in minus numbers.
Is he in single digits? Oh, yeah. Yeah. There are three in minus numbers. Is he in single digits?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Single digits.
So we're talking more of a Millard Fillmore.
What did Fillmore get?
Four.
Just looking through.
Grover Cleveland, nine.
And that is it for presidents in single figures.
Well, he's beaten Fillmore.
All right.
But Cleveland has beaten Harding.
He scored a grand total of 8.25.
It's not a good score.
It's not.
It's really, really not.
He wasn't a good president.
No.
If it wasn't for the fact that he had a few interesting stories
and, frankly, hilarious nickname for his own Jerry,
I think he would be in minus numbers.
Yeah.
I mean, whenever anyone now in the US says gerrymandering,
that to me means a very different thing.
Yeah, OK.
Well, we've got one last question we need to ask.
Well, we don't really, but we'll ask it.
American or American?
No. Absolutely not. American or American? No.
Absolutely not. He's an American't.
He certainly is.
I was definitely more positive towards him last episode than this episode, doing my research.
Because it's funny.
Yeah.
I didn't have much of an opinion of him after the first episode.
But after the second episode, it's's like no i i just want some
nice people jamie i want a nice person to be president yeah it really doesn't happen very
often no but maybe maybe his vice president is nice hoover no not hoover coolidge oh calvin oh
oh we're about to hit the crash oh yeah, yeah, things are going to get fun.
This is when they stopped Black Friday, was it?
We will get into everything in the future, Jamie.
We will. No time to talk about it now because this is the end of an episode, not the start.
Sorry.
But yes, we have Coolidge coming up and then it's Hoover and then FDR himself.
Mr. Fudderer.
Everyone is gleefully telling me over Facebook and Twitter
that I will not be able to do in two episodes.
Oh, you did it with Augustus.
You can do it with FDR.
I did it with Teddy Roosevelt.
If I can do it with Teddy Roosevelt, I can do it with FDR.
Even if a majority of the episode is just one-minute summaries.
are even if a majority of the episode is just one minute summaries i would just record three four hour episodes and i'll just speed up the audio to fit it into two yeah fine yeah it'll be
fine we will figure this out uh yeah anyway right that's all for the future though um thank you very much for listening. Thank you for downloading us on iTunes and...
Podbean.
Podbean, yes, that's the one.
I hope you deleted that gap there while I was thinking.
Oh, I definitely will.
Please leave some reviews.
There's been some nice reviews recently.
Yeah, thank you very much. We should read out some reviews.
We've not done that possibly ever in this series.
I don't think we have. We used to do it in the Roman one quite a bit. We've not done that possibly ever in this series.
I don't think we have.
We used to do it in the Roman one quite a bit,
but I'm not sure we have in this series.
Let's do that.
Let's do that.
Let's do that.
Maybe Coolidge didn't get up to much in his early life and it'll be a short episode next week.
Who knows?
If so, we'll do some reviews.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Great.
So please leave a review.
Who knows?
Maybe it'll be read out.
And, yeah. Until next So please leave a review. Who knows? Maybe it will be right out. And, yeah, until next time.
Jerry!
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Warren G. Harding.
Where am I? It's so misty and white.
If you would follow me, Warren, your time has come.
Oh, my. If this is the afterlife, then I certainly hope my legacy and my accomplishments will be remembered long after my...
Why are you laughing?
Laughing? I wasn't laughing.
That was a snigger.
No, that was a snigger. I heard you and saw you snigger.
Oh.
I'm just saying I was hoping my accomplishments will long last since my bones will turn to dust.
You're doing it again.
No.
What's so funny?
Nothing.
I did many great things.
The country was, frankly, a mess, and that's a quote.
It was a mess.
And they're not my words.
They're the words of very important people.
I made our country better.
Better in the sense that it's better than it, you know, was.
I mean, it's not well, it's not good, but it's better.
Certainly for the rich people.
Yes, well, that's not what you'll be remembered for, Warren.
The disarmament pact, there we go.
No, Warren, it's not the disarmament pact.
Ah, I opposed the thing in South America where we just invade all the time.
No, it's not that.
Oh, it's not something bad, is it?
Define bad.
Well, there's the whole teapot thing.
No, no.
It's not the scandals, Warren.
Watergate takes over that.
Water what?
Never mind.
It's not the scandals.
Oh, it's not the...
It's Jerry.
It's Jerry, Warren.
You're remembered for Jerry.
Jerry?
The senator of Ohio?
Jerry McIntosh?
I barely knew the guy. I only met him once.
No, not that
Jerry Harding. Jerry.
Jerry.
But I still don't know who you mean.
Harding. Harding. Yes?
It's the name you use for your penis.
And everyone knows?
Everyone.
Oh, son of a...
Yeah, can we get a Regulate joke in?
Regulate?
Yeah, Warren G,
as in the guy
who did the Regulate song.
It's a very famous hip-hop song from the early 90s.
That's going to be so obscure.
It's really not going to be obscure.
Trust me, almost everyone knows this song.
You're the weird one who doesn't know who Warren G is.
Okay, fair enough.
Well, don't add this on to the end.
Are you looking up who Warren G is
to see if he's actually a person?
Regulators.
You regulate any stealing of his property with damn... Are you looking up who Warren G is to see if he's actually a person? So is the song called Warren G or is the song called Regulate?
No, he's called Warren G.
The song is Regulate. But you can't avoid that song. It is or is a song called Regulate? No, he's called Warren G. The song is Regulate.
But you can't avoid that song. It is
an incredibly famous song. I did a very good job
avoiding that. That's a good point.
Okay, let's not get in a
Warren G Regulate joke into the end.
Okay. Because it clearly
would go over your head.
Obviously.
But I will just be putting snippets of this conversation
at the end instead. Right.