An Army of Normal Folks - Amy Crenshaw’s Cafe: Where The Homeless and Bankers Eat Together (Pt 2)

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

Amy and her husband Jim adopted 6 kids. And because Amy apparently didn’t have enough on her plate, she then founded ComeUnity Cafe in Jackson, TN. The non-profit, donation-based cafe has a suggested donation amount and if you can’t afford it, you can volunteer there for your meal. This extraordinary model enables everyone to break bread together and be in community with one another. Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, it's Bill Courtney with an Army of Normal Folks, and we continue with Part 2 of our conversation with Amy Khrinshaw right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. All right, so day one you opened. So, day one we've been. How do people in the community even know how to the homeless though and how do the non homeless know what the world's going on? It's just it's a community cafe, but How does everybody know I guess you have to walk in and figure it out? You do you kind of had to walk in and figure it out at that point. I mean, I guess I'm I'm imagine some law

You're walking in and right behind them some homeless dude, and they both had to been looking at each other like what's going on. Yeah. Well, that time we had, I had the sweetest, little old lady and no kid she was old. She was probably, I'm thinking she was like 85. She was a friend's grandmother

that came and volunteered to be our greeter. So she had this whole little thing and it said, hey, welcome to Community Cafe. And she'd say, do you know anything about us? And they'd say no. And she'd say, well, we're a nonprofit donation-based cafe. We believe everybody's entitled to great healthy food. So what that means is, if you can't afford a meal,

come on in, volunteer for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, and then you come around the counter and you order your lunch just like everybody else's order in their lunch. Come in, have a seat, and let's volunteer first. Right. Right. Although there's there's a caveat to that. Okay. You know, a lot of times if somebody comes in and says, I'm starving or I'm freezing to death, I always feed them. I get it. But the idea is volunteer first.

Volunteer first because we actually had a couple people walk out, you know, after I eat. So volunteer. Does that make you angry? No. Why would it? You know, I don't mean angry for you. It would make me angry that they're taking from other people who need it. Now, it makes me, yes, it's righteous anger. It makes me angry for the other people on the street. That's

what I mean. The person that sleeps in the next and the amazing. Exactly. It does. Unbelievable selfishness to people who are trying to help you. Right. And because I have no social work background, it has taken me and I learn something every day. It has taken me a lot of time to learn what the right responses are to that. It has taken. Would you ban them?

We, well, I was just getting ready to say we'd ban to couple people. Yes, we absolutely have banned a couple people. I can only think of four in the nine years that we banned and I have one little fella that calls me mom and he'll come in and he actually pulled a knife on somebody. So I have banned him for life. He pulled a knife on someone. I don't think he really, yeah. Was he cutting up a Southbury state? No, he just went in the kitchen and yeah, got an iPhone. Yeah, he was mad at one of our other volunteers.

Part of what we have to talk about is not only are these folks homeless, a lot of them probably have been a little. Oh, yes, absolutely. And he definitely does. And calls me, Mom, and I'll see him out on the street and go, Mama, can I come to work today? I promise I'll be paid. And you know, I'll tell him, come on in and I'll get you something to drink, you know,

get you a hot cup of coffee or, you know, whatever. So, and we usually all send him out with the soup or something like that. We really try real hard. And I can't think of, I really can't think of anybody that we have actually turned away with nothing. But here's the thing. You've got to have enough people coming in that are paying above to cover the people that we're talking about right now. Right. And, you know, I guess this is the, I would say the realist in me, but, but also, unfortunately,

when you're in business for 30 years and everything else, you've seen, you've seen some of the greatest of the human world, but you've seen some of the worst. Yeah. And I just, I'm envisioning how many people are out there that are working every day. I mean, let's be honest, there's a stigma around the homeless. They're stinky, they're lazy, they're mentally sick, they want something for nothing. Yep. And again, I'm saying the stigma,

what I'm repeating. Absolutely. And when I'm saying the stigma, right, what I'm repeating. Absolutely. And when I'm working and paying my bills and taking care of my kids and building a house note, why do I want to take my one hour of lunch break to go sit down and eat with people who I feel that way about? Yeah. So how does that, how do you, how do you get those people to do that? And how do they come in or why do they come back every day?

We have people that we have. Yeah, that's how does that work? Well, you need to come see the cafe. Well, I can't. Neither can everybody else listen. So you got to tell them. So I'm going to tell you when we decided. No, I can.

I will come see the cafe. Okay, but all the thousands of people in the sisters right now. So what I'm going to tell you is that people will walk in the door. I had one guy who is a local singer. He does a lot in Europe. And he walked in one day. His his wife brought him in or said, you know, you need to go in. His wife lives in Jackson. They live in Jackson. And he walked in and he got Terry ad and he said, you know, you need to go in as wife lives in Jackson, they live in Jackson. And he walked in and he got Terry ad and he said, did I take a wrong turn?

Are we in Jackson, Tennessee? That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. And it's not because, I mean, I'm 63 years old. So I'm not the hippocip people, you know, but it has got, it's just, it's a happy place. There's glass on two sides up front. Our logo at the bottom says to love to feed to dignify.

It's bright, it's white. I've got great artwork and one of the things that I said was, I want people to feel like they're coming and having lunch or dinner at my house. So we will have glasses on the table. We will have salt and pepper shakers on the table. We'll eat on real plates. We'll have real forks.

We'll have our flatware wrapped in a napkin, you know, and just all we will have flowers or plants on the table. And we're going to treat them like they're at home or at my house. I'd get it. That still doesn't answer how a guy in a suit and tie that's a turnie downtown wants to go to a place where he's going to sit next to some homeless people. And you know what the really amazing thing is is that we've got six tables that are almost this length we call them our community tables. This length is probably 18 people. Yeah, sorry. That's all right. You mean the people listening can't see this? Yeah,

we're at a large conference room table that's the five feet wide by feet tall. Yes. So we've got five or six community tables that my husband built. We've got gorgeous furniture in there. Handmade, my husband actually made all the tables. Bless you. Bless you. Bless you, sure. And those tables fill up. We do also have some tables that are four tops that also fill up.

But the point is the community tables fill up with homeless and non-homeless eating right together. That is so amazing. People know, I mean, the name of the cafe community came from coming to unity. And that was one of the things that we set out to be was a bridge in the community between, for lack of better words, the haves and the have-nots, or, you know, the Christian and the Muslim, the, you know, black and white. Black and white, the Asian and Ethiopian. Asian and Ethiopian. I mean, whatever, you know, different groups of people you can think of. And it works.

It really does. I mean, my, our regular customers, and when I say regular customers, I mean almost every day, we have one elderly couple that she had to drag her husband in, but I told her, I said, if you can drag him in, and this has probably been seven told her I said, if you can drag him in, and this has probably been seven years ago, said, if you can drag him in, I'll feed him and he'll like our food. Tell me why I didn't want to come because he didn't want to go to homeless people.

No, he didn't want that healthy food. Oh, he didn't want that healthy food. He wanted fried chicken. This is the style. That's right. Okay. So anyway, she drugged her man. She drugged me and he's been there every day since she went through Spell of cancer and was up at Vanderbilt for probably six or eight weeks. He still came in every day The daughter was up there with the mom and he came in every day a night lunch with this How many people a day are you serving and what are your hours? We're only open Monday through Friday 11 to 2. We start taking volunteers. So you're open. It's lunch.

Lunch. Got it. We used to do a brunch on Saturdays. That kind of went by the wayside. Just we have a real small staff and it was wearing them out. That makes sense. Yes. Is your staff also your children?

I bet your family works there, right? They will volunteer there. That's what I mean. They're all in and out. And when they were little, you know, 10 years ago when we were starting to open the place, I mean, they were down there with me, you know, putting in the Yuzo Miyamoto grease and yes, yes, I mean, we we stripped the floors in there. You know, we had this big old standard thing, you know. And so how many people do you serve? So we serve between, you know, it was really weird. Therefore, while 70 was a busy day,

when we first opened, it was 120 a day, easy for year to half, two years. Then I kind of think we weren't the new kid on the block any more. That's every restaurant goes to that. Yeah, yeah think we weren't the new kid on the block anymore. That's every restaurant goes to that. Yeah, yeah. We weren't the new kid on the block anymore. We are back to serving 70s kind of a slow day.

Yeah, it's more like 85 to 95. Okay, well let's just say, let's say 80. Okay. How many of the 80s? I'm calling them there's three tiers. There's the, I got no money. I got a volunteer tier. That's tier one. Tier two is I got some money, but not enough to help anybody else.'s the craziest thing because it has been across the years 12 to 15 percent. 12 to 15 percent of our customers, our customers that are working exclusively for their meal,

volunteering for their meal. And number two is I've only afforded mine barely. Yeah, and that's not a huge number. I mean, I will have somebody come in and go, I've only afforded mine barely. Yeah, and that's not a huge number. I mean, I will have somebody come in and go, I've only got $4 and I'm like, okay, order whatever you find. 5%? Yeah. So you're telling me about 80% of the people that eat in this place.

Pay over there. They pay at least. And you know, when we were, when we first opened, people were very generous. And I'm not saying they're not generous now, but they would it was kind of a new thing and it was kind of like, okay, here's an extra five bucks or here's an extra 10 bucks most of the time now it is they will order two items which we have a suggested donation because we just let people ever.

You don't even have prices do you? We don't have prices on the menu. So people usually stand there and kind of look. I have no clue what to do here. And we go, well, we do have a suggested donation. If you'd like to know what that is, it's $7 for one item, whether it be soup salad or sandwich, even though we all know that it doesn't cost $7 to make a bowl of soup. But, you know, on the other hand, you get our sandwich, which we use, more said, deli meat, which is the best of that.

Probably cost more than $7, but... Yes, yes. So, one item, $7, two items, whether it be soup salad or sandwich salad, is $9 and three items is $11. And that includes a beverage. Let me tell you. That's sheep. It's sheep. And we've only raised our suggested donation one time. One time.

Yeah. We have worked really, really hard during the last, you know, two years to keep our costs, you know, at our, our our our donation price. My expectation would be then that you'd give me underserved the 15% underserved must reveal this place. I mean, they must really appreciate its existence. I think they really do. I think they

really do. And like I said, we've had a couple that have, you know, come in and tried to take advantage of the situation. And we have one. Any, anything you do to help out in this advanced communities, there's always going to be an issue here and there. It's, it's, it's inherent to, to that kind of work. But if you let a couple of small issues interrupt the work you're doing for a much bigger issue, well, I mean, that's expected and move on. Get over it. Yep. And, you know, at first, we really required people, even if they could only give us 10 minutes or so, we basically required them to come in and show, you know, some effort in volunteering.

We also have gotten to know that clientele and like we have one elderly gentleman that comes in and he doesn't eat much anyways. And he'll come in and we seem coming and we'll, you know, the chef will automatically just wrap up the same which forum and hand it to them. You know, there's just some out there that are not capable of working. Do you, boy, this may be a charged question, but I, you know, just my, just human beings, do you ever worry that you're fostering in some people an unhealthy sense of entitlement to free food? No, I don't, because we don't do it that very often. And we do, I mean, you know, of the 12 to 15 percent, probably not even, you know, of the 12 to 15% that come in and volunteer for their meal. Only one or two of them a week is actually a meal that we just hand out.

That's phenomenal. And you know what, that's great. That's great. Yes, everybody's willing to work. I have a gentleman in a wheelchair. We've had several people in wheelchairs. Homeless people in wheelchairs. How does that work? It does believe me. They have their wheelchairs. That's horrible. Well, they may be, they may be not truly homeless. They may be just way underserved. Right. And they'll come in and they all insist that they can do something. I love that.

So they'll, we have order cards. We are real simple. We have an order card that is laminated and we purposely have kept those order cards because it creates a job for some of those that want to do something but aren't able to do any more than that. Well, then the flip side to the entitlement thing which is the negative side that you can see the positive side that you can see is entitlement thing, which is the negative side that you can see, the positive side that you can see is it gives somebody a sense of dignity. It's an absolute. You'll be able to earn their food rather than stand in line with a hand out, which the vast majority of people I've found, they really don't want to do that.

No, you're right. And this way they feel dignified in what they're doing. And again, that's in our logo to love to feed to dignify. And most of them will tell you that one of the reasons they keep coming back is one, they'll tell you, it keeps me out of trouble. I'm off the street. And the food's good. And the food's great.

That's usually number one. The food's great. It keeps me off the street. And three, almost all of them have said at one time or another, it lets me give back to the community that is given to me. That is awesome. And don't you think just a little bit of it is is to be able to go into a restaurant

and be surrounded by people that treat them kindly as human beings as uplifting for their soul. They don't feel like losers. Yeah. And I will say I have never seen anybody if anything our paying customers have, they care more about the people that are coming to volunteer.

If one of our volunteers doesn't show up for a while, somebody will come up to me and say, hey, where are they? Where are they? They're up in the Joe. Wow. Or hey, what happened to so-and-so? That's funny. They want to know where they are.

So it really is a community. It is a community. It is. We'll be right back. I've hit on it a couple of times and I think it's I think candidly it's it's maybe because maybe I'm jaded about it but you know I I continue to have this image of a banker in a suit and and a lawyer, and maybe an architect, or people who we were a doctor or nurse, or someone we would think more from a professional setting, sitting at a community table with some local homeless, and how odd that really is. And when I think a little more deeply about that

for more of a 30,000 foot view, that's exactly what we really have become socially as polarized, is that the idea of a community where the blue color the white color and the middle income all go to school together do things together. Politically socially religiously we've just become. So clannish and so polarized and so separated that it's just hard for me to even imagine. polarized and so separated, that it's just hard for me to even imagine this eclectic group of people around eating lunch at Community Cafe. I think it's beautiful, but I guess I've been conditioned to think that that's just not something that would normally happen. Yet you're proving it is, and I just can't help but wonder, you're very smart and you have a world view. You have

children from three different continents. I've heard you say you're a Christian, but I've also heard you say that doesn't matter. And the big scheme of things to who eat to the cafe. So you obviously have a large world view. What do you think it says about your little cafe in Jackson, Tennessee, and who's dining together and how atypical that is, what do you think? What do you think is a greater social narrative regarding that. I don't even know what to say about it except that when you see it, and it's kind of weird because I'd like to say that when I see it, people coming together that it's not always obvious. But it is obvious. But it's pretty obvious. Yeah.

And it's really obvious that people, I think, are, you know, what I'm seeing is that people are really willing to sit and dine with somebody that they would not have maybe even crossed paths with, except in the cafe or out on the street, but the street's not always the best place, you know, it's hey, how are you today, you know, whatever. But just to see people, one of my volunteers sitting by himself, you know, waiting on his lunch to come, and maybe he's even planned on taking it with him to go. And somebody will come up and say, Hey, can I join you of another six or seven guys and guys in gals, an older

couple that I'm not even sure they knew this man. But now if they're all in the cafe together, they're all sitting together. They've all become friends. They all know that you know The first one to come in. They'll sit at the table and they'll be sure that they sit at one of the big tables So they're friends that they've made at the cafe that aren't any where With with people that are To with the days societal preconceived notions says don't belong at a time together. Right. Right exactly societal preconceived notions says don't belong at a time together. Right, right. Exactly. Exactly. And over very wealthy, retired couple, you know, a banker, a fellow that's living in subsidized

housing, you know, it's all sitting there eating together, all sitting there eating together. And having deep conversation, not just sitting there together. Not sitting there eating together and having deep Conversation not just sitting there saying hi there exactly exactly. I mean having very deep conversation Isn't it interesting that despite all the political and societal rhetoric that at the end of the day What breaks it down? There's a cup of soup. Yeah. Yeah, or a cup of coffee. A cup of coffee, or salad. Yeah, yeah. It's phenomenal. And if you think about it, I mean, you provide a place that's safe to do that.

Yeah, and that's, yeah. And maybe the greater social narrative is, part of our division and separation is because we don't have a safe place to exchange those ideas. Exactly. And conversation. I think so. I think so.

So maybe we need to turn the capital building into a big old community cafe in the DC. Why not? Why not? Or our libraries. Or our, yeah. I think about going into the library and, you know, because oftentimes, you know, people that are looking for shelter will go hang out in library.

That's absolutely true. They're kind of over there, you know, and you don't want your children to go over there. Come on children, let's go to them. So, but I think people are becoming, I honestly do think that I don't know since when, but I have seen that people are more willing to actually engage and have a conversation. Yeah. Yeah. That gives me some hope.

Yeah. And even a hard conversation. I mean, you know, I've heard conversations where I think of one gentleman in particular that comes in the cafe almost every day as a paying customer that will sit and ask one of our homeless, truly homeless, how do you end up, how do you end up on the streets? And most of the time, you know, he's had a conversation or two with him. He's seen them over time. He's earned that right to actually delve into deeper conversation and he doesn't feel afraid.

And therefore to ask those hard questions. And therefore that person doesn't feel, you know, afraid to tell or it or afraid to say, well, you know, I made stupid choices. But the growth that comes from that, instead of looking at homeless person as a drag on society and looking at it as a human, and understanding their story, you know, pretty much all of us are a couple of mistakes away from being right there too. Absolutely. Absolutely. And to find a place that can serve them and give them dignity is beautiful and I think

it's so interesting that the eclectic collection of people sitting around a couple soup having those conversations is so telling about what's missing in our society today. Yes. is so telling about what's missing in our society today. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So I imagine with all the people, the best in and out of the doors of the cafe, there's ample opportunity for you to also mentor. And in a small way, I know you're not running a cafe and a social workplace,

but it's ample opportunity. Have you been able to help some of the folks that are volunteers at the cafe to find steady employment and forever homes and things like that? Absolutely. Most of the time, when I think about ones that we've helped out, it's usually been, we have in the past had social work interns from the colleges around, and that's always a great. Oh, that's helpful. It's incredible. I love having them. As a matter of fact, I'm just sitting here thinking I'm supposed to get in touch with somebody about getting one for January. So that I'm glad I'm here thinking about it. But we have had the good fortune to have some community service volunteers or some social work interns that have come in and set up programs just where they'll help somebody write a resume

or fill out a job application, give them job skills. And I think of one fella and it's been more than one, but I think of one fella in particular that has been volunteering probably since almost the beginning that has had permanent employment. Now he's been let go from a couple places, but he never has trouble finding a job. And he probably has been working seven years. That's fantastic. Yeah. And you know, I think of a couple other guys that I don't even see any more because they don't they got the greatest sense they don't need. Exactly.

Exactly. But that's, they get the greatest sense. They don't need you to. Exactly. Exactly. But that's, but that's great news. Occasionally they'll pop in and say, hey, but don't see them on a regular basis because most of the time they work, you know, they'll end up working nights in a factory or something like that and sleep during that. From where they were.

Exactly. Exactly. And that's another fantastic reward. Yep. Amazing. There are in my experience coaching football, there have been highs, there have been lows, 30 years of it, around 30 years of kids. There's always highs and lows. There's always excitement and sadness and everything else. And there are a few times that, that just emotionally, I was so touched. Do you have,

do you have a story from your time at Community Cafe that is just deeply, emotionally touching to you that, that kind of speaks to the, the depth of the cafe? Yeah. One in particular, there's two stories that I think of, and one is very short. I'll share it first. There was a young gentleman I'd never seen before. Greyhound bus station used to be right across the street from us.

It is now Dozee place. Really? Yeah, it's really cool. Yeah, that is cool. But anyways, the bestation was right there. This fellow walked in the cafe and it was freezing. It was just a couple years ago, probably two years ago, came in the cafe and he had on short sleeves

and he had on blue jeans and tennis shoes and nothing else. And it was literally freezing. And it was literally freezing. I mean, it was probably 20 degrees out. My guess is he just got out jail. He just got out of jail had been dropped off the kids. And it was literally freezing outside. It was literally freezing. I mean, it was probably 20 degrees. My guess is he just got out jail for four days. He just got out of jail, had been dropped off at the office. How did they let him out of jail without a jacket?

I don't know. I mean, look, he paid his debt to society. Exactly. And I know society can't provide you a house. They're gonna give you a bus ticket and 50 bucks, whatever. But at least a jacket when it's freezing outside. Yeah, and exactly. And, you know, if nothing else,

I mean, if somebody can't pay for it, I mean, if the community can't, or the government can't pay for a jacket or a sweater at least for these people, what I have to do is say, hey, let's, you know, maybe that's something that somebody could start. I just had this.

There's an idea. Exactly. Jackets for felons. Jackets for felons. But seriously, why not? I mean, I have people all the time that call and want to, you know, bring, you know, clothing and jackets and hats and stuff like that. So why not?

So this young man gets off the ground. He comes in and he is. Does he know what community cafe is? He just sees. Right. Because I don't know if I don't know if the bus station was open. I guess it probably was. But he and I don't know if they're if maybe they weren't allowed to just you know linger in the bus station. And he knew nothing about Jackson. He had come into Jackson for a party or something like that or to visit a friend.

Was it a party? I think probably got thrown in jail for public drunkenness. Did his time. God out was trying to head back to wherever he was from. I don't even remember where it was. And had on a red t-shirt and blue jeans and tennis shoes. And it was freezing out out and he was sitting there and he said, can I have, can I have a cup of coffee? And I said, absolutely, you can have a cup of coffee. I said, let me get you some coffee and he said, what is this place?

So I told him and he said, can I volunteer? And I said, I tell you what? I said, you can volunteer, but not until we get you warmed up. And I went downstairs. It was one of those times that somebody had dropped off blankets and stuff like that, which a lot of people will do, especially in the winter. And I went downstairs and dug through what we had, and I got him a hat, and I got him gloves, and I got him a scarf, and I got him a jacket, and I got him a blanket, and I wrapped him up.

And he looked at me and he said, I haven't been treated like this since my grandmother died. And I thought I was going to lose it. I thought I was just going to open up and weathe right in. He was probably early 30s or so. You know that means he hadn't felt waived. Exactly. Since his wowved. Exactly. Since his grandmother. Exactly.

And... Did you tell him I'm not old enough to be a grandmother? Shut up. I did. Hey. Hey. Watch it with that age. Watch it with that age.

I've got kids right. That is the sweetest thing I've ever done. But he did. Yeah. It really touched me. Was he tearing up? Was he almost emotional from just being wow. Yes, he was, yes, he was very emotional. And he sat there and he got warm and he drank

cup of coffee and he had another cup of hot water just holding it to keep it to get his hands warm. And then he said, okay, what can I do? And he went to work for about 30, 40 minutes. And I said, okay, it's time for you to eat. I said, your bus is gonna be here in about 45 minutes. I said, you need to, you need to eat and get out. Get out of here. And when he got ready to go, he came up and he said, I'd really like to hug you.

And I said, you're welcome to hug me. And I said, not really like to pray for you. And you know, when people come into the cafe, they will frequently ask if we're a Christian ministry or, you know, if everybody in there's Christians, and I'm kind of like, well, why does that really matter? And I'll say, no, you know, not everyone in here is that I, you know, that I know of. But my family and I, yeah, we're Christians. And, that I know of, but my family and I, yeah, work Christians and, you know, but it says it there on the door to love to be dignified and that's what we're trying to do. And I had never felt called to pray for somebody, but I really, truly felt the Holy Spirit

saying, you need to ask this man if you can pray for him. And I asked him, he said, I wish you would. So anyways, that was one. And then the second time was one of the gentlemen that we had my family had gotten to know through church without walls before the cafe opened was kind of like the bad dude in downtown Jackson. His street name was Cadillac, and everybody was afraid of Cadillac,

and everybody wanted to warn name was Cadillac and everybody was afraid of Cadillac and everybody wanted to warn me about Cadillac. You know that I was like they're washing your dishes. You know you better watch out for him. He's a snake, you know, and I was like, I've known Cadillac for about four years. Cadillac, if I was down here, you know, one evening and left the cafe. If I was down here working, you know, and was leaving the cafe and Got in trouble. Cadillac would probably come from, you know, out of nowhere like Superman to save, you know me He loved he was so attracted to my family That I know that man would have done anything for us. Well He was going to get to go see his mother in Gary Indiana.

And. He was he a street person in Johnson? Completely. And yes, completely homeless. And I knew where he stayed a lot at the time because he would ask us if we could buy him some kerosene, I guess it is, for kerosene heater in the winter. And I'd say, well, you know, Cadillac, I said,

well, we only called him Cadillac outside the cafe. I told him, I said, you can't use your street name in here. So you can come on outside. No, I never did that. But we didn't. We didn't, we don't allow them to use street names inside. So anyways, I just told him, I said, Kenneth, I said, you know, I can, I can loan you some money for some caracene, but I'm going to go buy it for you.

You know, how's that sound? Because one, I don't like to make a habit of just handing out money. Now, bus passes will occasionally do and whatnot. But I said, I'll loan it to you. I said, but I need you back here, you know, on Friday and you're going to help us close down or something like that. And he was like, okay, okay, I'll be more, yes, that'd be great. So anyways, we, and I knew where he'd stay because my husband would usually drop it off or our milder son would drop it off. So anyways, he was supposed to go to Gary and Deanna to see his mom one weekend. And this was on like a Wednesday. And he said, I really need some help. He said, I promise. If you can help me, he said, and I, he said,

I need my medications refilled. And I said, yeah, I can, and he wasn't asking me to pay for him because he got him. Is he speaking so far? No, he, it was just, no, you know, I don't think that Kenneth really had any mental health issues. I just think he had just made a lot of really bad choices in his life. And he would, yeah, and he would tell you that.

And he was probably in his 50s. Well, I was just wondering if the medicine was like lithium. Yeah, no, no, no. It was his blood pressure medication and something else. And he was using drugs. I mean, we, no. It was this blood pressure medication and something else. And he was using drugs. I mean, we knew that. And I had several times said, Kenneth, you can't come in today.

You know, I can tell you've been using something. Yeah. And he always understood, okay, okay, I'll be back tomorrow or something like that. So anyways, he asked me if I would get his medications refilled. He said, I just need a way to get him. And I said, sure, I said, give me your prescription. And I said, I'll get him refilled for you.

I'll have him down here no later than Friday. I said, because I know you're leaving Saturday or Sunday. We didn't come in on Thursday, which was really unusual. And then he didn't show up on Friday to pick up his medications. And then I was down at the farmers market downtown on Saturday and a friend of mine and I worked.

This sounds so mean, cruel, but I said, I haven't seen Kenneth lately. I hope he's not laying up there. He was bed and can't get up. He's frozen to death or something. No way. Monday, he did not freeze to death. Monday, after I got home from the cafe, somebody called and said, have you seen Facebook, WBBJ or something like that? And I said, no, what? And they

said, Kenneth is missing. And I said, what? And I said, well, maybe he went on to his mom's and just didn't get. And they said, no, Kenneth is missing. Like his mom has called and said he was supposed to be at her house Sunday night and he's missing. So hung up and I call, or yeah, hung up and I called the police and I said my understanding is that Kenneth is missing and I know where he usually stayed and he was dead. He had either OD'd or yeah. And you know, he was just kind of one of those guys in Jackson that he either loved him or you, or you didn't necessarily loved him, but you liked him. Yeah. Yeah. Or you feared him. And you know, to our family, it was one of those. Isn't, isn't inevitable in this work, though, that you're going to have people that you're going to deal with some of that?

Yeah. Yeah. We've had, we've had a, we've had a couple, you know, of our volunteers that have passed way. And it's always, it's, it's very sad. But those, those two stories, I think it's hilarious that the homeless are not referred to as the freebies or what they're your volunteers. Yeah, there are volunteers. Yeah, we don't we don't say,

oh yeah, he's homeless, you know, he's a volunteer. He's an involuntary. Yeah. And they can come in with dignity and not say, I need a free meal. I'm here to volunteer. Yeah. And when I'm through volunteering, you can be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. And they do. They come in and they say, I'm here to volunteer. So which implies I need food. I'm here to eat, but I'm going to do my work first. And by the way, we do also have community service volunteers. So we have people, kids from that need community service hours for school, you know, the whole Sure kids from that neat community service hours for school, you know the whole What's that school? Yeah the whole community college. Yeah all that now has to volunteer a

But you're in a clean you put you're in a good place for them to get those hours, which is also very cool I'm also we've also had What are they called the SEOs or whatever from the schools and they aren you know, kids that are in A school or, you know, or have been technically suspended from school. Yeah, I'll have there. I'll have there. Yeah, and it is so funny because they come in

and they're almost always there for a week, sometimes longer and they come in and they are mad. They do. And they want to be there. They hate you. They hate your food. They hate their mama. They're in everything is stupid.

Yes. And I cannot tell you, as a matter of fact, I can't tell you of one that has left that place going. This is the stupidest place I've ever seen. They come back and I'll say, now look, I want to see you back, but I want to see you back on different terms. And they'll say, yes, may I miss Amy.

I'm going to behave. I'm going back to school. And I'm going to behave. And I'm going to come visit. And sometimes they do. They come back to visit. I love those, yeah, those kind of things. Yeah.

We'll be right back. I mean, there, this is beautiful, but there is a, you know, profits or necessary measure of any organization success. And although you're a non-profit, you still have, you have staff. Yeah. There's paid staff in the kitchen and also, is there enough money coming in from revenue from the food to cover staff? Or do you also raise money? Well, we, we do when we need to.

Really? Yeah. We really do. So you run it to just cover the bills, cover staff and get out of there. And if you're a little short, you'll go out to the community and say, Hey, we need help. Yep. And how's the community to respond to that? Incredible. Two years after we opened, we kind of had a dry spell.

And I basically sent just hit it on Facebook. I could probably pull it up right now. It was probably two or three years into it. And I said, Hey, I said community cafe friends and peeps. I said, you know, here's what's going on. You know, we need to keep the lights on. We need to keep buying food. We haven't seen you in a while. Basically is what it said.

I can't even remember. I don't get some revenue. Exactly. Exactly. And I can write if I have some time to think of it. I must say I can write. You write an isolate. I can write an isolate. I did. And I just said, we need your help. This is not about keeping us in a job. This is not about... I'm not making any money doing this. It's not about me. Exactly. I said, this is your cafe. It's community cafe, the Jackson community.

If you want to see these doors remain open, we need your help. And they came out and they helped. I had people that sent checks. I had businesses that sent checks. I had people that said, Hey, I can't give any extra than more than a dollar to per meal, but I'll do that. And I'll bring in friends. I had people that called and said, or emailed and said, I'm a handyman. You know, so I had this whole list of people that were willing to say, if you need this, don't pay for it. Let me know and I can come and help you do this.

And let's be reminded as we're listening to you, this is in Jackson, Tennessee. We're not talking about a big city with a lot of people that deal with urban type problems. And I guess my point is, if you can pull this off in Jackson, it can be done anywhere with the right attitude, the right love and the right. Yeah. And let me tell you one of the best stories. And I think you're kind of trying to wrap this up. But one of the best stories is that 2020.

Actually, I was going to ask you, tell me one of your best stories. 2020. So interestingly enough, our soup kitchen closed the doors. You're not not not not the cap. We're not. The Jackson had a soup kitchen for the underserved and closed the doors. Why did they were they were doing box meals? I think and some, you know, privately funded by church or something.

Probably they get federal funding or how does sitting gets federal funding closed? Maybe maybe they don't get federal funding. I guess I shouldn't say that. But let's just say they closed. They closed. They ran out of money. They didn't run out of money. What they run out of. They didn't, they felt like they needed to be closed to the public during COVID, like people. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm missing. Oh, I'm sorry. So during COVID, they closed. They closed, which means there's people in your community, that's probably the meal they get. Exactly. Or one, yeah. So anyways, and they also said, hey, can we send them

down to you? We're closed. We can't stay open. But we're going to do it. Yeah, go down the street though. And they were again, they were doing some box lunch and bags of groceries and stuff like that. But when you think about it, that doesn't help the truly homeless because I don't have anywhere prepared that food. So anyways, we closed for about only about three weeks to dine in. Maybe five weeks at most. I can't even remember now. We closed to

dining, but we set up in not outside in front, but just in the front of the cafe. We set up and had box lunches and anybody could come and get a box lunch. We were serving probably 60 people a day for free. Where did the revenue for that comes from? Well, yep. So we had people still coming in, you know, that were out and about, you know, it did everything shut down for a while, but we still had some that were at the courthouse and downtown and some of our regular customers that would drive down and go, hey, I want lunch, you know, and they'd come and they'd get lunch and, you know, they'd pay more than theirs what their suggested donation was. But I also wrote a letter to businesses in the community, especially in downtown and especially some of our customers that I knew owned businesses that frequented the cafe and I said, look,

worst serving, you know, 60 people a day that aren't paying and cannot pay a nickel for their lunch that need to eat. We need to feed these people. We need some help. And again, the Jackson community rose above and beyond and we made it through COVID. That is just.

So yeah, it was. It was really that was, that was probably one of the highlights of, yeah, of my time. But if you ever wondered about humanity, it restores your faith. And if you have faith in humanity, it's a reminder that you know if you're doing things the right way and for the right reasons and you simply ask, help often will come. Well, it's so cool to think about when you opened all your kids. I guess Washa Windows, Washingtonasha and Dishes are doing whatever

that hecked is their mom told them to do. Exactly. And not always liking it either. For sure. But sometime during the nine year process of this, you lost a child. We did. We did.

And it was Cooper. It was Cooper, right? Yep. Yep. It was Cooper. He was our second adopted from China. And Cooper was 17 years old. And Cooper, he'd worked in the restaurant. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. People knew Cooper. Yeah. People knew Cooper. Yeah. Cooper's teeny tiny, but Cooper had a huge personality. He used to tell some of his funniest lines were, he used to tell my brother who was single until after, well shortly before Cooper died.

He would tell Craig, my brother, he'd say, Craig, you got any girlfriends and he'd say, Craig, you got any girlfriends? And he'd say, no, he goes, you need to get on match.com and get you a wife. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, How old was he? He was Cooper. 10, probably at the time when he started that.

And then he also loved country music. Say, you see this little Chinese fellow singing country music at the top of his lungs. And he used to tell us that he was going to be the first Chinese country music star. You know, you're all a little correctness almost says I'm not supposed to laugh about that. But you're his mom and you're laughing. I'm laughing about that because that is funny because we laughed about it. Oh, I can't even tell you the Cooper stories.

I mean, there are so many Cooper stories. And when we all get together, like we were all together at Christmas this year, some of the stories that came out, yeah, just, and some I was kind of like, oh, I really don't want to hear that one. I don't want to hear that one. We had a catwalk at our house.

And I found out just at our house in Jackson, and underneath on either side, there was a den and a couch. And they used to jump off the catwalk onto the couch when I was out there, yes, or when I was, yeah. Well, that's what kids do. So just crazy. The markets did stupid stuff.

Oh, yeah. And I was like, no. So how'd you lose Cooper? So Cooper, you know, we don't honestly know. We really did not feel like Cooper took his own life. We did not know that Cooper had any inkling that he was, we had no idea that he was unhappy. Cooper had been, he was, we had no idea that he was unhappy. Cooper had been, Cooper was, um,

he had some learning disabilities in school. So I do think that he kind of struggled with not- Socially maybe. Yeah, yeah, and not really feeling like he was as smart as his other brother that was only four months older than he is. Mac, he, uh, he had homeschooled. He really kind of didn't fit in. He's one of the, one of the reasons we moved out to, uh, Myland went to Gibson County School District. He and Leah needed something more than what they were being served in schools in Jackson.

Any at home school, a couple of times off and on, he actually did a home school class in the eighth grade that met in the upstairs of the cafe with three kids. And it was phenomenal. It was the most fun. And it was probably the best year of Cooper's life. And he, so many people at the cafe, got to know Cooper from him being down there literally every day.

And got to know the true personality and who he was and just loved him. And he loved to fish and he would talk to you for hours on end about fishing. But he and Mack had been fighting and I think, I think Mack has moved on beyond, you know, feeling like, you know, maybe if I didn't fight with him, you know, maybe if we, yeah, that's a tough part of the bear, but there's so many, you know, there's so much more deep-seated things than an argument for somebody to go there.

Right. And I'll also say Cooper was on ADHD medication and I'm not blaming, I'm not at all blaming any of the medications or what, but he was on ADHD medication, and he was also on growth hormones. And I kind of wonder if all of a sudden, all of that had kind of come together. He was 17. Well, combined with everything clicking at a 17-year year old boy's mind a body which is exactly utter chaos anyway. Exactly. But Jim and I had unfortunately just left for Italy and for a two-week vacation and Mack and Cooper had kind of been at each other but it had calm down and I thought everything was good and actually when we left them I gave

him a big ol hug and I said hey I, I said, you know, if you have any problems, I said you can always email me or, you know, I've got service you can text me and I said, Cooper, I said, just be the bigger man. Just don't, you know, just don't let him get to you. Cause I think that that was kind of, you know, what happened sometimes was, you know, they'd get arguing and want them to Old Navy and had a big time and no telling what was on my credit card.

That, but anyways, I think it was Monday afternoon. He got a little bit of trouble at school. He had, um, was on. He was actually emailing me on his, not as I've had whatever his little thing was because we kind of are those, you know, weird people that don't give our kids technology, you know, for a while, but he had some sort of I know kidding, but he had some sort of, you know, little whatever those things were called tablets. And he was emailing me during his resource time where he was supposed to be doing some extra study and stuff. And he told his teacher, he said, well, I'm already done.

That's why I'm on it. I'm just going to email my mom. And she said, Cooper, you know, you can't be on that, you know, during class, bring it up here. So he took it up there and he put it on the desk. Well, she went into the next room, connecting room to help a student and he got it off her desk. So he got in trouble for that. And then he got Mowdy, which Cooper could definitely get Mowdy, and he got in trouble. And he did not like that he got in trouble. And they asked him, I can't remember, I think they told him he was going to be suspended for a day. And

the teacher walked him out to whoever we had a babysitter or a sitter, you know, for all the kids. And she walked the teacher walked him out and said, you know, could you come to school tomorrow? You know, he's been in trouble. He was disrespectful and that just did it. I mean, he just, I guess we don't know what happened, but he wandered off on the property. Said he was going for a walk. We live on about 80 acres and they couldn't find them and they got started getting a little worried as it started getting a little drizzly out and it was the end

of October and was getting cool out and you know I got this call that he was missing and I had weeks at the time still owned our house in Jackson so we had somebody drive over the house in Jackson our older son had come over and you know was helping look for him. The police department had been called. Long story short, they found my our oldest son found him the next day and he had taken his own life. I'm so sorry. And well thank you. Thank you. As it pertains to our story, that we're telling for you is, we all struggle. We all do with pain. And you've had this amazing life with these kids,

and this husband of yours yours and the two of you must be partners in crime to do what you've done, creating the United Nations in Jackson and the amazing work with community cafe. But nobody's life is perfect and peaches and roses and we all do a sadness and pain and difficulty and that's just what makes us normal people and This happened in the middle of you operating the cafe it had to

Did you ever Question do I want to keep doing this? I mean was was it I mean ah question, do I want to keep doing this? I mean, was it, I mean, how do you persevere in the face of that? I guess is what I'm asking you. No, I did take about a month off. And you know, there, I'll be very honest and say there are still days that, you know, I get up and think, I don't wanna do anything, you know, I don't wanna do anything. And there were a lot of those days. But I also knew, and I'd always said

that the cafe was my happy place. And even though I knew that first day back was gonna be really hard, my husband was absolutely fabulous. He had already said, when you're ready to go back, I'll go with you, you know, you don't have to go by yourself. I know that's going to be hard. And, and that was a really good thing because I think maybe he had already been down there because a lot of times he would go, you know, he went back to work and the hospital

is not very far from the cafe. Maybe he had been back for lunch. I'm pretty sure he had because I think I remember him saying so and so I asked about you today. But the two of us went back together, kind of as a united front. And everybody, no one, it was amazing because I just thought,

I don't want people to feel like they can't say, I'm so sorry to hear about Cooper. And you know, what do you say to a mom? Exactly. That's so hard. Exactly. Everybody's dying inside for you, but they also don't want to say anything to hurt you. Right.

So the natural inclination is to just not say anything. Not say anything. Except I think people have, I think people in general, like across the board have gotten much better at dealing with death and dying. And probably especially now after COVID, even though that was free COVID. But I don't remember one person just, you know, floating over it, not saying anything.

That actually knew. But for you, that was probably therapeutic. It was very therapeutic. And it was again, I mean, I had for so many years said that the cafe was my happy place that I needed to be back there. I like to tell people that I... Isn't that amazing that it's called community cafe and it was your community too?

Yeah. Yeah. We'll be right back. You know, I love to tell people that I am actually an extraverted introvert. And I truly am. I've got a daughter that is an extraverted introvert. Also, meaning that, well, you know, what that means, I mean, I, I love people and I love being with people, but I also love my own time. But I

think I had had enough of my own time. And it was time to put on my boots and put on my apron and head back. And you know, I knew that I eventually had to, you know, see everybody. And so, I mean, the reality is, your life has to go on. Exactly. It's amazing. It's amazing that in the middle of all of this, you had to endure such pain and heartache and persevered through it, but it is, unfortunately, just part of the human being's narrative. We have setbacks and we have painful, horrific, traumatic things, but it doesn't mean we stop. Right. I was going to say, but you can't stop living. You can't just quit. And, and, you know, unfortunately, I've known a couple people that have, have actually lost sons, taking their own life since Cooper. And, you know, that, that's my one thing is, is I never give advice, but if somebody says,

how do you do it, you know, you just, you have to keep moving. Take that time, take that time to take care of yourself. You know, and I think you, you know, I just relied on, it was the Holy Spirit for me, saying, okay, Amy, you know, you're up, you're up and moving this morning. It's time for you to go back to the cafe and that's basically what it was. It was just, you know, I just felt like, okay, I can go and I need to go and love my people. It's phenomenal. Amazing. And you know, the best thing is that people also know now that everybody knows that, that, and everybody, every once in a while, somebody will come up and say, I just thought

about something that Cooper told me one time and they'll share it with me. Cooper's teacher actually gave me his home school teacher from upstairs at the cafe. One day I said I have something for you and she had found some of his papers. So she gave me his papers from school and she also gave me in that little bag there was a fun-sized candy bar because he used to say I'm not I'm not little I'm just fun-sizedized. And he was. And then also for her birthday that year, so embarrassed to say this. But I'm going to say it. He dug through my supply of candles

because he knew I loved candles. And he thought she would love candles. Well, he didn't bother to check to be sure that the candle was a new candle. So he gave her a- He gave her a candle! Hey, it's a thalpy gas. So anyway, there you go.

Coopers like to see clearly lives on and you ran into the community cafe. Coopers like to live with the coopers. It's an amazing story. So let's say somebody's listened to us and they think, I want to do that in my neighborhood. How do they reach you and find out how to do it? They are more than welcome to call me at the cafe. What's the number?

It's 731-3046-74. 300, 46, 7, 4. And they are welcome to, if they really want to touch base with me on my cell phone, because I usually only go in on Thursday and Friday now. I've got a great staff. They can talk to Tina or Austin, and almost always they will... What about email you if they want to email you? They can email me, and I don't mind giving that out. That is because they can find it on the website. It's community cafe Jackson at gmail.com perfect. But again, call come by. See what we're all about to 18 East Main Street in Jackson,

Tennessee or if they don't want to open a cafe and they just feel called to serve about a thousand people, they can drop you a check in the mail. They can drop us a check in the mail. And we, you know what, I, I, I never pretend like, oh, we're making it, it's going to be great, you know, because the guy that does my finances would be like me. Look at it. Are you talking about, I'm the one paying the bills. But, yes, so we've got, I think on our Facebook page, or on our website, Community Cafe Jackson, I think there's a donate button there. There's a donate button on our Facebook page,

our Facebook and our Instagram always has the menu. We love having out of town company come through and say, hey, I just heard about you and wanting to come have lunch. It's an incredible story and you're an incredible person. And I want everybody to go back to the beginning of our conversation. If you can start a community cafe or some other name with a cool acronym, but something like this, with 10 shoulder, driving around a 12 passenger van like a bus driver, Walmart. If you can do it, anybody can do it. Anybody really can do this and make a difference in so many

people's lives. And it's just a perfect example of government proves woefully in an adequate helping the underserved and the homeless, but just a normal person in the middle of the community seeing a place of need and saying I can help can make all the difference in the world. Exactly. And the payoff is how enriched has your life from it. Oh absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. And it has, I think more than anything,

it has probably, it has made our children who they are and who they are becoming just kind, respectful, always wanting to help. Probably really appreciative. Yeah, very appreciative. And yeah, it's just, you know, shown them that somebody doesn't have to walk the same walk or look the same way or, you know, go to a certain school or a certain church or

whatever to be a friend, you know, and you can be a friend to anybody and, you know, be there to help out when you're called to help out So you and your husband Jim right Jim? Mm-hmm. You and your husband Jim have been The family you built and the way you built it and then to for him to build the furniture and And then to for him to build the furniture and for you to do what you've done and involve your children and your entire family is a blessing for Jackson and your story is a blessing for all of us listening. And maybe just maybe somebody has heard this story and they thought well I only have two kids.

I can do this in Tateca or something else and and we'll fill call to it and they thought, well, I only have two kids. I can do this in Tateca or something else and we'll fill call to it and they know how to get in touch with you now. And Amy, it has been an absolute pleasure to share your story and you, my friend, are absolutely a member of the Army of Normal folks. I'm glad to be a member of the Army of Normal folks. You are.

Although I kind of think sometimes I'm not really very normal. Jim and I actually always talk about we're not normal. Yeah. Well, the T case and everything else is normal. Makes us have normal. But you're also not some preordained politician or somebody else who's, quote, job it is to do this. You're just a normal person who's all placed to fill it

and has done so in such a magnificent way, both in your family and in your community. And I just can't thank you enough for joining me. It's been a fun ride. Thank you. Thank you. And thanks to all of you for joining us this week. If Amy or another guest has inspired you in general or better yet to take action by visiting

Community Cafe or a similar cafe elsewhere, donating to them or even starting one in your community or something else entirely, please let me know. I'd love to hear about it. You can write me anytime at billatnormalfogs.us. Guys, just two days ago, I got an email from a guy in Florida who's been helping a guy in Haiti with an orphanage. And he was inspired by Luke Michelson's story that you might remember sleep in heavenly peace building beds for kids that don't have any. And now this guy who runs an orphanage in Haiti is now having the kids in his orphanage build beds for other kids in Haiti who don't have beds. If that is not an unbelievable example

of the power of an army of normal folks, I don't know what is. Even better yet, we're going to have this gentleman from Haiti come on as a guest in the future and you're going to get to hear about all his story which started from Luke Michelson's story. See guys, an army of normal folks is about building a community of people who build off one another. And if you hear about it or you see it or you want to be part of it,

write me at billatnormalfokes.us. I promise you I'll respond. And if you enjoyed this episode, share it with friends and on social. Subscribe to the podcast, rate, and review it. All the things that will continue to help us grow, an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. I'll see you next week. you