An Army of Normal Folks - As My Grandma Was Dying

Episode Date: June 7, 2024

She taught me a whole lot about grace. For our latest “Shop Talk”, Coach Bill pays tribute to his Gram.Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, it's Bill Courtney with an Army of Normal folks and this is Shop Talk Number 12. Today we're going to talk about a very simple five-letter word. It's called grace. And it's because I think we could all certainly use more of it, but maybe even more importantly, we could all give more of it. Shop Talk Number 12, it's on Grace, right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors.

Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning and now we're sharing an all new story of betrayal. Stacey thought she had the perfect husband. Doctor, father, family man. It was the perfect cover for Justin Rutherford to hide behind. They led me into the house and I mean it was like a movie. He was sitting at our kitchen table. The cops were guarding him.

Stacy learned how far her husband would go to save himself. I slept with a loaded gun next to my bed. He did not just say I wish she was dead. He actually gave details and explained different scenarios on how to kill him. He to me is scarier than Jeffrey Dahmer. Listen to Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.

Radios were smashed, cassettes burned. You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules. And yet, Afghans did it anyway. This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol. The danger they endured. They said my head should be cut off. The joy they brought to the nation.

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wheel. And while you might think a great white shark is scary, what's really terrifying and even deadly is distracted driving. Eyes forward, don't drive distracted. Brought to you by NHTSA and the Ad Council. Okay everybody, Shop Talk number 12. We're talking grace Interesting word grace It's odd that when I think of the word grace in the more contemporary terms I think about my grandmother Janice Schubert Graham was beautiful she grew up and the Great Depression married my grandfather during World War II when he

was a pilot. And after the war ended, they moved to Memphis. My grandmother went about raising a family while my grandfather went about working. Graham was actually a model. Goldsmiths was the Mid-South's premier retail store for clothes and furniture and things like that, later bought by Macy's. Currently is still a Macy's in Memphis, but she actually modeled clothing for Goldsmiths. She was just beautiful and she had a lot of grace with the way she carried herself.

Additionally, she was graceful in the way she interacted with people. She was always so welcoming. And even when tough times hit, she never pouted. She didn't whine. She just handled tough things with dignity in her head up. And I, you know, a lot of her in her generation, I think who grew up in the Great Depression and then went through World War II, I just wonder if maybe they grew to appreciate good times better than some of us because of the way they came up. But nonetheless,

she's so graceful in the way she handled difficult times. The last six days of her life, I sat at the kitchen table with her. I went to visit her after work every day. And I sat at the kitchen table with her. And gosh, we shared so many stories. And I was just trying to soak up all the old family stories because our matriarch was leaving us. And she had lung cancer, never smoked, but was dying of cancer. And I'll never forget how she handled death with such grace. And then she passed gracefully. Graham was a special woman, taught me a lot, was always there for me regardless of what I was going through. And I was just so proud to be her grandson because of the grace that she handled herself with. But maybe the most important thing about grace is what she once

said to me before she passed. And it was when we were talking about my father. And I was still at that time struggling with why my father left when I was four and really had nothing to do with me or anything wanted to do with me and how, you know, that affected not only me as a father, it affected Father's Day, it affected all kinds of things. It was a piece of trauma that as a young man, I really had a hard time reconciling. But as she was dying, this is my maternal grandmother, not my father's mother, my maternal grandmother,

who also dealt with a lot of what my father leaving her daughter and her daughter's son, me, she dealt with a lot of the fallout from that too in her own life. And on her deathbed, not her deathbed, that's being too dramatic. During that last week we visited, one of the conversations we had was that she wanted to know I'd forgiven my father, which was just weird. But she did. And I told her I didn't, I really didn't know how, but that I was trying. And she looked at me with this stern grandmother, but loving look and said, what do you mean

you don't know how? Of course you do. And she said, don't you say your prayers at night? And I said, yes, ma'am, I say my prayers at night. And she said, don't you ask God to forgive you for your transgressions? And I said, yes, ma'am, of course, of course I do. In fact, the truth is, I don't even know how I would face each morning if I had not laid off at the feet of my Redeemer the things that I'd done the previous day that I was so wrong about. So yeah, yeah, Graham, I ask for forgiveness and I do say my prayers. And she says, well then, how do you not understand how to forgive your father? And I paused and she said, Billy, which I was always Billy to Graham, said, Billy, what kind of hypocrite are you if you expect and accept forgiveness and grace from the

Creator and Ruler of our universe and then aren't in turn willing to offer it and grant it to another failed human being? Graham was graceful in the way she carried herself. Graham was graceful in the way she handled tough times and dignified and graceful even in death. But the most important thing about Graham was her understanding of grace and what she taught her grandson even as a grown man and even as she was passing from this world. What kind of hypocrite would I be if I expect and accept forgiveness for the things I do wrong but them am not in turn willing to grant that same grace and forgiveness to people who've wronged me? What a phenomenal question.

What a phenomenal question. What a phenomenal waking of grace. So I'm going to ask you today in Shop Talk, who's wronged you? Have you forgiven them? When you do wrong, when you do something you wish you hadn't and you say, I'm sorry, isn't the power of another person's forgiveness of you freeing and uplifting and so meaningful? And when you have the power to forgive somebody and and give them that same level of love and acceptance? Isn't it paramount on us that when we need and want forgiveness in our own lives to also grant it to people who've wronged us? Is there somebody out there that's wronged you that you hadn't gotten over with yet? Have you thought about your position in that particular relationship and really the requirement that you have to give grace in order to accept

it? The last thing I learned about grace from Graham, really after she died, was how important it is for the forgiver. And I would even argue that grace may be more important for the forgiver than the forgiven. Because see, when you don't forgive somebody and you don't offer grace, that means you harbor ill will. That means you lock up inside of you anger and frustration and hurt that really eats at you from the inside. But once you offer forgiveness and you demonstrate grace, all of that stuff inside of you, it's

allowed to dissipate and go away. And when it goes away, you, just like the person you have forgiven, are in fact redeemed. So I also learned from my very graceful grandmother that grace is a two-way street. It works just as importantly for the forgiver as it does for the forgiven. So, as you go about your week, and you go about your weekend, and you go about your lives, I hope you'll think about being graceful, dignified in the way you carry yourself.

Graceful. Dignified in the way you handle your troubles and the things that face you, just like my grandmother, just like Graham. But I hope most importantly you'll be graceful in the way you handle your own transgressions and those who have transgressed against you. Don't harbor ill will. Don't harbor all that anger and frustration in you. It just eats you up from the inside. And understand that grace has

a place in both the forgiver and the forgiven's life. And wherever you are in that spectrum, use grace and have a fuller life. That's Shop Talk Number 12. I'm Bill Courtney. I'll see you next week. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Justin Rutherford. Doctor, father, family man.

It was the perfect cover to hide behind. Detective Weaver said, I'm sure you know why we're here. I was like, what in the world is going on? Listen to betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol. The joy they brought to the nation.

You're free completely. No one is there to destroy you. The danger they endured. They said my head should be cut off. I'm John Legend. Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. MTV's official challenge podcast is back for another season.

And so are we. I'm Tori Deal. And I'm Anissa Ferreira. The wait is over, guys. All Stars 4 is finally here. And this season takes it to a whole new level. Old school legends, modern power players, and ex-lovers are all competing in Cape Town, South Africa for the prize of $300,000. And we're going to be right here along with you fans covering every episode on the podcast. Listen to MTV's official challenge podcast on the iHeart