An Army of Normal Folks - Ask Me Anything: Should Privilege Stop Us From Serving?

Episode Date: February 16, 2024

Coach Bill Courtney answers this question from a premium member of An Army of Normal Folks.Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody About once a month or five weeks. We will start dropping in these special small episode clips And what they are our answers to ask me anything Premium members are allowed to ask me anything and and we're gonna take the time Occasionally to answer ask me anything questions. Now, if you want to ask me anything, become a premium member. You'll get bonus content from episodes and you'll be able to ask me anything
Starting point is 00:00:34 and we'll choose a question and answer it. So the question this time is, how do I, as a white, privileged person, show up at an obviously black outreach program? I'm ready to roll up my sleeves and dig in, but I'm not sure about the reception. Do I just keep showing up? Well, I'm going to answer that for you the best I can, right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. One of the best shows of the year, according to Apple, Amazon and Time, is back for another
Starting point is 00:01:12 round. We have more insightful conversations between myself, Paul Muldoon and Paul McCartney about his life and career. We had a big bear of a land, it's called Maladins, with our logo, and it was coming back on the plane and he said, will you pass the salt and pepper? And I miss her. I said what? So I should buy one. This season we're diving deep into some of McCartney's most beloved songs. Yesterday, Band on the Run, Hey Jude. And McCartney's favorite song in his entire catalogue, Here, There and Everywhere. Listen to season two of McCartney, A Life in Lyrics on the iHeart radio app Apple Podcasts
Starting point is 00:02:02 or wherever you get your podcasts. app, Apple Podcasts, New Heights, Normal Gossip, On Purpose with Jay Shetty, The Retrievals, Scamanda, Smartless, and Wiser Than Me, vote now at iHeartPodcastAwards.com. YouTube is the streaming partner of the 2024 iHeartPodcast Awards, and will be honoring Rotten Mango
Starting point is 00:02:42 with the Innovator Award presented by YouTube. Tune in live Monday, March 11th at 9 p.m. Eastern on I Heart Radio's YouTube channel. You won't want to miss this. Hi everyone, I'm Jackie Goldschneider from the Real Housewives of New Jersey. I joined the show in season nine. And I'm Jennifer Fessler also from the Real Housewives of New Jersey. I joined the show in season 13. we host the new podcast to Jersey Jays. You know us from the Real Housewives of New Jersey and now you'll really get to know us. We're going to tell you probably more than you want to know. We are going to have lots of fun on this podcast while we discuss what it's really like to
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Starting point is 00:04:10 about how one person of one race will be received by another person of another race. And I think with regard to that, you need to drop your insecurities about your race or your privilege at the door. Most of you by now have heard the turkey person story. And it doesn't matter if you, what color you are or what color the people are that you seek to serve.
Starting point is 00:04:39 If you are committed, consistent, and motivated by the right thing, which is the simple edification of a person who's not as blessed as you, you'll eventually be received well. But if you wear this concern about race and privilege on your sleeve, and you allow that personal perception of yourself
Starting point is 00:05:09 to interrupt the work that you're doing, people will see it and it comes off false. So I would say, you know, drop your concerns about race, drop your concerns about privilege, be consistent and serve for the right reasons. Second of all, the last part of this, just keep showing up. I love that question because I love that part of the question because it's true. Yes, don't expect to, look, when you go to serve people
Starting point is 00:05:42 who are in an outreach program, more than likely the people you seek to serve people who are in an outreach program. More than likely the people you seek to serve have suffered some kind of trauma, whether it's financial trauma, whether it's abuse. So people that, many people that come from situations like that are very, very accustomed to having people in and out of their lives. And so a new person showing up a couple of times,
Starting point is 00:06:10 honestly the expectation is those people are gonna go away just like most people have. And so it does take consistency, very regular consistency to show that you're uncommon. Because in outreach programs and the people you're dealing with the only thing that is typically common is dysfunction and change and the thing that looks uncommon is consistency and not dysfunction and the way you illustrate that is yes, by just keep showing up.
Starting point is 00:06:50 Last, there's a thing called a Ben Franklin close. And a Ben Franklin close is this, you take a blank sheet of paper, you draw a line across the top and a line directly down the middle. And at the top of the first column, you draw a line across the top and a line directly down the middle. And at the top of the first column, you put a plus. And at the top of the second column, you put a minus. And then you ask yourself, what are all the positives and negatives that are
Starting point is 00:07:17 going to come out of this initiative, whether it's starting a business, whether it's getting involved in your community, whatever decision you make. And you list all the positives you can think of and you list all the negatives you can think of. And if the positives outweigh the negatives, then it's probably something worth doing. And if the negatives outweigh the positives, then you need to pause and probably not do it.
Starting point is 00:07:41 That's called a Ben Franklin close. And the reason I know about it is because in sales people use that a lot. When you're pitching a product or pitching an idea, you list the positive the negatives and you say hey the positives are way gonna away the negative so this is a good decision. And candidly that approach to evaluating initiatives or decisions and lots of different things is a really good approach. When you're going to serve in an outreach program,
Starting point is 00:08:09 you're going to serve in disadvantaged communities, you're going to serve in places that have suffered abject poverty and loss and disenfranchisement. The negatives will probably always outweigh the positives when you start listing them. And what you have to reconcile is whatever or whatever check marks are in the positive column, probably wouldn't happen if it wasn't for engagement.
Starting point is 00:08:40 So when you go into an outreach type program and you're serving some of the most disadvantaged among us, understand there's going to be losses. Understand there's not going to be a massive list of wins. Understand it's going to be hard and understand it's going to be difficult, but most importantly understand the positive that do happen. Every one of them is 100% net positive because it probably wouldn't have happened without your work in the first place. So don't be discouraged by the losses and celebrate the wins, however few they are. Because without that work, those few wins would not have been there.
Starting point is 00:09:28 And each of those wins can possibly affect somebody's life in ways you can never imagine. So how do I as a white privileged person show up in an obviously black outreach program? I'm ready to roll up my sleeves and dig in, but I'm not sure about the reception. Just keep showing up. One, drop your own concerns about privilege and race at the front door. Trust me, the people who need help ultimately will not give a crap about your color or your privilege
Starting point is 00:09:58 if they see that your work is motivated by the right things and you're gonna be consistent and serve them and help them grow their own lives. So don't worry about it. Second, yes, be consistent because consistency and steadfastness is uncommon. And when you become uncommon, you become important. And the last thing is, don't worry about the losses
Starting point is 00:10:22 because most of cheerleaders gonna be some, but celebrate all the wins, because the wins that happened probably wouldn't have happened had you not gotten involved. And those wins changed lives. Guys, I hope that adequately answers ask me anything. If you enjoyed this short episode, share it with friends. And on socials, subscribe to the podcast, rate and review it.
Starting point is 00:10:45 Become a premium member at normalfolks.us. All these things that will help us grow an army of normal folks. For premium members, keep the ask me anything questions coming, for new premium members, send in questions. We'll have little short episodes to answer them for you. I'm Bill Courtney, I'll see you next week. One of the best shows of the year, according to Apple, Amazon and Time, is back for another
Starting point is 00:11:11 round. We had a big bear of a man who was called Mal Evans with our buddy and he was coming back on the plane and he said, will you pass the salt and pepper and I miss her then I said what so I do better listen to season two of McCartney a life in lyrics on the I heart radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts get ready for our 2024 I heart podcast awards presented by the Hartford live at South by Southwest March 11th we'll honor the very best in podcasting from the past year and you'll 2020 for I Heart Podcast Awards, presented by the Hartford live at South by Southwest. March 11th, we'll honor the very best in podcasting
Starting point is 00:11:47 from the past year, and you'll help decide who wins podcast of the year. Vote now at IHeartPodcastAwards.com. YouTube is the screening partner of the 2024 I Heart Podcast Awards, and we'll be honoring Rotten Mango with the Innovator Award presented by YouTube. Tune in live Monday, March 11th at 9 p.m. Eastern on iHeartRadio's YouTube channel.
Starting point is 00:12:07 You won't want to miss this. I'm Jason Flom and you're Maggie Freeling. Hey Jason. Every day we learn about another person who shouldn't be in prison. 58 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit. So glad you're home. If you want to be part of this work, listen to Wrongful Conviction. The podcast where we hand the mic to innocent people to hear their stories. How do you send someone innocent to prison? Listen to new episodes of Wrongful Conviction with Maggie Freeling and Jason Flamm on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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