An Army of Normal Folks - Jane Borochoff: Special Olympics for Jobs (Pt 1)

Episode Date: January 16, 2024

After marrying her husband whose son Bradley has an intellectual & developmental disability (IDD), Jane heroically gave up her own job to try to help train him for one. In our broken culture where 66% of adults like Bradley are not employed, Jane’s nonprofit called The H.E.A.R.T. Program has broken the mold and helped more than 1,000 adults with IDDs operate 90 vending machines, concession stands at Rockets and Texans games, and achieve their full potential. Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Because of Special Olympics, I think a lot of people now do just accept what course they can play sports. Because we've all heard of Special Olympics, yeah, so you just accept they can do that. Well, what if we spent the same amount of time and energy and organization in years teaching them other things? You know, teaching them a skill, teaching them a vocation, teaching them how to be independent. Could they learn those things too, right? Why isn't there a special Olympics of jobs? Welcome to an army of normal folks I'm Bill Courtney. I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, a father,

an entrepreneur, and I've been a football coach in an inner city Memphis in the last part. an entrepreneur and I've been a football coach in an intercity Memphis in the last part. It unintentionally led to an Oscar for the film about our team. It's called undefeated. Guys I believe our country's problems will never be solved by a bunch of fancy people in nice suits using big words that nobody understands on CNN or Fox. But rather an army of normal folks us, just you and me deciding, hey, I can help. That's what Jane Borikoff, the voice we just heard, has done. She created, let's call it a special Olympics for jobs in Houston, Texas. Her nonprofit, The Heart Program program has provided job training and placement for hundreds of

adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities. When too much of our culture believes that these kind of folks can't provide any value in the workplace, Jane disproves it. Heart and its trainees also operate over 60 vending machines and get this 150 concession events each year including at every professional sports stadium in Houston. I can't wait for you to meet Jay right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. Hey, this is Justin Richmond, host of the Broken Record Podcast. Join me and co-hostly arose for in-depth creative conversations with the artists you love.

Over the past five years, we've interviewed some of the most legendary figures in music, like Paul Simon, Ferrell, Damon Albar, André 3000, and Usher. Endure here from rock icons like Pete Townsend, who shares wild stories about his formative years with The Who, and Johnny Marr, the legendary guitarist and co-founder of the Smiths, who has an unwavering devotion to his craft. Or the stories behind the legendary hits Baby Face wrote for Whitney Houston and Madonna, plus how he collaborates with the new generation of R&B stars like Kailani and Dogey. Listen to Broken Record on the I Heart Video app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your

podcast. In the new Amy and TJ podcast, Amy Roboc and TJ Holmes, a renowned broadcasting team, with decades of experience delivering headline news and captivating viewers nationwide are sharing their voices and perspectives in a way you've never heard before. They explore meaningful conversations about current events, pop culture, and everything in between. Nothing is off limits. This was a scandal that wasn't. And this was not what you've been sold. The Amy and TJ podcast is guaranteed

to be informative, entertaining, and above all, authentic. It marks the first time Robock and Holmes speak publicly since their own names became a part of the headlines. This is the first time that we actually get to say, what happened and where we are today. Listen to the Amy and TJ podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

You take my breath away. I spent the last 15 years in my life fighting like hell to make sure that I never ended up here. But then I met her. The name's Anna. Hey, Anna, I'm Nico. Didn't realize you were a professional musician. From interval presents, a new romantic thriller podcast,

starring Jason DeRulo and Alexandra Ship. There's someone about you that I haven't been able to look away from. Nico, we don't even know each other. and Alexandra's ship. There's someone about you that I haven't been able to look away from. You go, we don't even know each other. Let's no turn it back if we do this. I've already made my decision. This is what happens when you don't follow orders. Nicholas.

No! Listen to underwater on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jane Borkoff, how are you? Doing great, how are you? Fine, Houston, right? That's right. It's hot down there.

Best times? Yes, I prefer it hot. I love warm weather. Where you from? I was born in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Also, you're used to sweltering miserable heat. Exactly. Does that mean you're an LSU fan?

You know, my mom went to LSU for her undergrad, but she finished at Texas A&M, and then she did her PhD at University of Texas Medical Branch. Oh, so your mom's really done? No, not at all. I mean, she's a amazing role model. Yeah. So you grew up Yeah, so you grew up in Baton Rouge. I lived there for a couple of years and then we moved to Texas on my third birthday, which I always tell my parents was the best birthday present I ever got. It's so weird. It's so weird. We moved to Brenham, Texas.

Where's that? It's about halfway between Houston and Austin. It's off a highway to 90. Is that kind of near like Brian, Texas or College Station, I guess is kind of there. Right. Maybe a 30, 45 minute drive. So that's why my mom ended up finishing at Texas, and it's in college station. We were living in Brenham at the time already. So it's beautiful. Got two younger brothers. And when you grow up in Brenham, there's a couple things you know. One is you eat ice cream every single day on your school lunch tray. Oh, it's a big show.

Because blue bell ice cream, right? Is that worse one? It's headquartered in Brenham, Texas. So you're going to get that? Oh yeah, they sponsor all the sports and they're just a great community part. So everybody run around, breath, fat. No, not at all. Yeah, they're all fat for me, not ice cream.

No one listening to this is going to understand that. And I know bees all fat for me, not on the ice cream. No one listening to this is gonna understand that and not know bees from listening to this. No, I'm the fat one. And I ate ice cream every- For everybody listening, Jane is not fat, but she probably was a fat child. You know, Alex, I think we've ruined any chance of blue bell being a sponsor of our show at this point.

I didn't know, honest to God, I didn't know that kids all over the country didn't eat ice cream every day at their school. I just thought, that's how wonderful it was to grow up and have a childhood and run up. So, in Houston, you meet a guy. That's right, I met my husband. And his name is? His name is Bob. Bob the husband. Yes. Tell is? His name is Bob. Bob the husband.

Yes. Tell us about how you met Bob. So we were introduced by a mutual friend. We were both active in, you know, volunteering in the community and politics and so did you just say politics? I did. What kind of politics we involved in. So we don't want to get into the political discussion per se, but I'd love to know what you were doing in politics. So this, at this time in my life, I had just moved to Houston. I'd been there maybe a year or two, and I

had gotten connected with a friend who was involved in raising money for city council races and the mayor's race. And so I would help her out, you know, stuffing envelopes and we'd watch TV and she'd make lasagna. So then I'd help her out at the events, you know, greeting people and handing out name tags and those kinds of things. My husband at the time was not necessarily volunteering, but he was writing the checks. He was not. He was not.

You're to be husband. Exactly. He was writing the checks. Oh, good. And so here we both found ourselves at one of these events for a city council race in Houston, Texas, and my friend, new Bob, really well, and said to me, you know, this is a really great guy. And I think you'd really like him. I don't think she realized how much we were gonna like each other,

but she had an inkling that we would have some things in common. And so she made the introduction and then we kept seeing each other. You know, we kept running into each other, different things kind of like once you meet someone. That's a dental or she's stalking you. No, I think you're stalking you, Eddie Jane. You know, I think we had probably, he's not a stalker.

I think we'd probably been in some of the same events before, but we didn't know each other. And so I think it's one of those things once you know each other, you see each other. I think it's good that on this podcast, we have established that Bob is a stalker. Oh, no, he's not a stalker. Oh, Bob's not a stalker.

He's not. But I do have a question. We're no, he's not a dog. Bob's not a stalker. He's not. But I do. I do have a question. We're going to have to have a production check on this because I'm not sure if it was Plato, a Socrates, but he, one of my favorite quotes is, you can finish it if you've heard it. The penalty for not involving yourself in politics is you end up being governed by your inferior. And I don't know if it was Plato or talking to, but I've said that before without spilling the means of Plato's

Socrates. People guess Roosevelt or they guess, you know, JFK or even George Washington, but I think it's interesting that going back literally 2000 years, some of the same divisions that plagued humanity 2000 years ago in the political spectrum still plagus today. And I just, I think it's great that you're involved in politics because it's best that we don't get governed by our infirars. And so I think that's cool. So you met Bob the stalker and political in political work and he followed you around. Okay. I can't say that's exactly how it happened. Okay. That's Bob version of it, but it's more fun to say because Bob's going to listen to this. I hope he has a sense of humor. Bob, I'm just getting. So y'all are going to these things. You keep bouncing into each other. Exactly. And the more we got to know each

other, the more we realized how much we had in common, not just wanting to be involved in politics or the community, but also, you know, we both like music, we both like the same kind of movies and those kind of things. And so we really just hit it off. Cool. And what does Bob, what did Bob do at the time? So Bob is in the restaurant business. Owning restaurants were managing them. So he's done it all. He started out as a dishwasher when he was 11 years old.

I think he may have told someone he was 14 and got hired to work in a kitchen. I take back everything as sort of all of he loved Bob. He's a self-made guy. He is. I mean, he got promoted to chopping meat and, chopping meat and vegetables and then decided, you know, he was gonna own restaurants and he worked his way up from waiting tables to being a manager and he opened his first restaurant on a credit card when he was in his 20s.

That is a great story. Yeah, he's a great American and then made it and ended up owning restaurants and still does, I guess. Yes, he's he's own many different restaurants over his career. How is really really really cool. Have you ever eaten his food? All the time. Is it any good? It's wonderful. You have to say that. It's really good. Do you mean it? I do mean it. The recipes in the restaurants are terrific and what's the fare? So he has a lot of restaurants that are Tex-Mex. So yeah a lot of enchiladas and tacos and things like that. But he's had steak

houses and seafood buffets and all kinds of different concepts. He's a very creative person. That's really cool. Yeah, I remember the first time he cooked for me, we were on a vacation and we rented a place. It was before Airbnb and he goes to the grocery store and comes back and starts making gourmet food, stuffed mushrooms and artichokes and all this kind of stuff. And some of this food I'd never eaten in my life. And here's this man cooking it for me right in front of me, it was just incredible. Yeah, well, the Bob Newities doing. Didn't he? So you'd be gay as mushrooms in front of me. It was just incredible. Yeah, well, the Bob knew what he's doing.

Didn't he? So you'd be gay, his mushrooms, the marital. More or less. All right. So, um, when, when was that in your life? How do we? Right. So we all became a family. When I met Bob, I was probably 23. God. And by the time I was 24, we were all of family. And what I mean by that is he was a single dad with three kids. Owning restaurants? Yes, he was trying to find a... For, I've been in the restaurant, but actually I put myself out of scholarship and many jobs. But one of the many jobs I had was I waited tables and I bartended and actually was

an assistant manager of a couple of restaurants. So never owned one, but I know what the restaurant business is and the hours are grueling and they're always night and you always have to stay. If you close at 10, you're not home till midnight. How does a single dad do that? That's also, that's a lot of work. Yeah. He's one of the most hardest working people I've ever known and he, as much work in time as he puts into his businesses, he also puts that much effort into his family. So Bob's a good man. So I'm doing the math though. You're 23, 24 and Bob's already got three kids. Yeah, we're exactly 20 years apart in age. Wow. Yeah. Bob is a stalker.

So Bob was 43-ish and you're 24-ish and you're marrying this man and taking on this children from I guess a divorce is that the deal? Yep. Wow. Yep. Unreal. Right. I become that's a lot for a 24-year-old girl. Lady, the only thing is what you are. Right. Looking back, it didn't I didn't have that perspective. It was just the most natural thing in the world. You fall in love. Here's your family. You love them. I made very much kids.

And you just move forward. But looking back, I wonder how I did it back then. But we all became a family. The twins. How old were the kids? The twins were 11 years old when I met them. They were in fifth grade. I went to their fifth grade graduation.

Good grade. And Bradley was 14. He's the big brother, the oldest. And yeah. 14 and 11 at 24 and coming in being a stepmom, that was that. Truthfully, that had to have been a hell of an adjustment or at least a little difficult, wasn't it? Truthfully that had to have been a hell of an adjustment or at least a little difficult one in you know I think that I'm very lucky that I met them at that age

I think if the twins had already been teenagers they might have looked at me a little bit differently I needed you a lot but because they were 11 years old I mean they shook my hand. I was a boring adult to them right at that. And so they accepted me in that role very young in their lives. And it just sort of continued. And we've had a great relationship the whole time. And the truth is, if you really think about it, you graduated high school and you're 16, you graduate

college when you're 20, you're not a typical 24 year old. There's a lot of 24 year olds that act like 21 year olds, but you were probably maturity-wise, far more advanced, and chronologically 23 or 24-year-olds, simply because you were two or three years ahead of the curve anyway. If my husband were here, what he always says is that I was mature for my age, and he was immature for his age, and we met in the middle. So chronologically, it's been a match, but probably intellectually you're right there again.

We hope you were a good team. That's a really cool story. All right, so the twins were girls. One boy and one girl. Oh, got it. And then there's Bradley, who was the big brother. Right. Who is the part of the focus of our conversation today.

Tell me your first impression of the kids. Well, my first impression, I just remember thinking they were very well-mannered and very good-looking. All three of these kids are just beautiful creatures. So Bob's a good looking stalker. Yes, he is. Good. I went to their fifth grade graduation for the twins and I remember just being very impressed

with how they interacted with their friends. Even though there were twins and they're in the same classes and they have the same teachers, they have their own kind of spheres, but then they also, you could see when those intersected. Yeah. And just the joy they had in bringing people over to meet me was really fun, very warm. And I have this early memory of Blair, our daughter. And we had taken the kids skating to a skating rink, roller skating rink. And I just remember her twirling around and, you know, really showing all of her, all

of her stunts that she could do on her roller skates and just being very impressed. So you fell in love? I did. Yes, with the whole family. Are you mom now? Yes. Where's mom? So she still lives in Houston. She was remarried before I ever met Bob. And unfortunately, sadly, her husband also just passed away during the pandemic. Wow. So she still sees the kids, you know, probably more now than she did when I first met the kids. Now that she's older and she's alone.

But your family dynamic is your mom. Right. Got it. So that's a twins. Tell me about your first impressions of Bradley. So I had never really been around anyone like Bradley. And remember, we haven't discussed Bradley. So I want our listeners first impressions to be yours. Sure.

It might be helpful if I tell a little bit of Bradley's story. I wish you would. So Bradley was born completely typical. He was a typically developing young boy. He could read words by his third birthday. He loved to garden, was asking lots of questions and running birthday. He loved to garden, was asking lots of questions and running around. He loved to garden.

He did. That's funny, my third job, my oldest son, when he was six years old for Christmas, all he wanted was a garden weasel. It's one of those things that you stick in the dirt and turn. I think like Ronco sold him on TV. And he asked everybody for one year of getting to. Yeah, Bradley also liked to help clean the pool. Bob had a pool at that house and Bradley

loved to help clean it. And then when the twins were born, they were born premature. When they came home from the hospital, Bradley was having a seizure. It was his first seizure he'd ever had. How premature were the girls? The twins. Well, remember, I didn't know them back then. Like, I keep saying girls, I'm sorry. I want a boy one. I want a boy one's a girl. I want to say six or eight weeks.

Then remember, I didn't know them back then. Right, I could. But from what I recall from hearing about it, they, oh, right. They were. And they were in the hospital for a long time. And so it was the day they came home from the hospital that Bradley was having his first seizure. So you're telling me Bob was dealing with premature twins and having deal with all of that.

And then the day, finally, gets a twins home. Now, as oldest son has a seizure, which is bad, but not like over-cost for a long. Yeah, exactly. And so his first wife basically just went right back to the hospital with Bradley and Bob stayed with the twins and what they didn't know was Bradley would stay in the hospital pretty much for the next five years.

Five years. Yes, until he was eight years old when they could finally get his seizures more or less under control. And that kind of can actually question. Sure. I'm going to share with you some things on a moment, but did they have to put them in And that kind of can actually question sure I'm gonna share with you some things on a moment, but did they have to put them in a Medically induced coma and things like that. That's exactly what they had to do share

When you hear that a three-year-old goes in the hospital and stays five years to income to an entente. That is tragic, but cheer some of those details, so people understand the depth of what the shot went through. Yeah, sure. So his seizures became... And his family. Right. His seizures became uncontrollable, right? And so the only way to control them was to put them in a medically induced coma.

And then they would bring them out of the coma and they would try a different regimen of, you know, medicines that worked for some people to control seizures. And, you know, it takes a long time for the medicines to really get in your system and to really understand if they're going to be effective. So they would try, you know, one course of, you know, one of those medicines and then determine that it was an effective on Bradley and put him back in a hole. Right. The time, right? The kids have insusers. Right. And it's just heartbreaking, you know, for both parents to...

And as a parent, you sit there helpless while your child convulses. I mean, I know that's in your face, but that's what it is. Right. It's horrific. Right. And, um, meantime time Bob's taking care of newborn and

and trying to write big checks to the hospital right and One of the things that happened during that time is that his insurance was canceled and they didn't just cancel it for him but because of the problem. Medical bills and the hospital came to him one day and said, you know, it's $250,000 or Bradley has to leave. And they didn't cancel Bob's insurance. I imagine they canceled his company's insurance. It means he couldn't offer to his employees. Correct.

All his employees got canceled, his whole family got canceled. And that led him at another story. That is a story and a show to itself. That is the Shabit illegal. Right. Well, it is now. It is now. But back then, it wasn't. And, you know, Bob, because of his political activism that we talked about, he had been active with his industry. He ended up taking this all the way to the highest levels of the federal government, and that with senators, he ended up getting Bradley reinstated.

He wanted to sort of fix it for everyone, but he ended up getting Bradley reinstated. But they came and said, you write a quarter of a million dollar check or Bradley goes home. And what does Bradley do at home? Sit there on the couch and convulse? No, Bob wrote the check.

That's the point. Right. But that's $250,000 you probably had a suck out of his business. Right. I mean, a lot of folks think business people are rich and just have means of dollars and cash around. You may have good net worth on paper, but most don't have a lot of liquid cash. And so if you're going to have to write a $250,500 on check, you're leveraging up your company to do it.

Right, Plus he was spending a lot of time with Bradley and with the twins and the restaurant's probably suffering. Right, and all the employees can see this going on. It just created a very, very, very difficult time, I think, in his life and his first wife's life, right? And they became farther and farther apart as she was spending most of her time at the hospital

because the hospital's not a hotel. You don't just put a kid there and check on him the next day. Somebody in the family has to be there the whole time around the clock. And so that was her. And here's Bob raising these babies and trying to run his company and write the checks. And so now you understand why Bob has such a strong bond with the twins. And why

there's also so much unbelievable stress in that family dynamic at that time. We'll be right back. Hey, this is Justin Richmond, host of the Broken Record Podcast. Join me and co-hostly arose for in-depth creative conversations with the artists you love. Over the past five years, we've interviewed some of the most legendary figures in music, like Paul Simon, Ferrell, Damon Albarn, Andre III Thousand, and Usher. And you'll hear from rock icons like Pete Townsend, who shares wild stories about his formative years with The Who, and Johnny Marr, the legendary guitarist and co-founder of

The Smiths, who has an unwavering devotion to his craft. Or the stories behind the legendary hits Babyface wrote for Whitney Houston and Madonna, plus how he collaborates with the new generation of R&B stars like Kailani and Doji. Listen a broken record on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. In the new Amy and TJ podcast, Amy Roboc and TJ Holmes, a renowned broadcasting team, with decades of experience delivering headline news and captivating viewers nationwide are sharing their voices and perspectives in a way you've never heard before. They explore meaningful conversations about current events, pop culture, and everything

in between. Nothing is off limits. This was a scandal that wasn't. And this was not what you've been sold. The Amy and TJ podcast is guaranteed to be informative, entertaining, and above all, authentic. It marks the first time Robock and Holmes speak publicly since their own names became a part of the headlines. This is the first time that we actually get to say, what happened and where we are today. Listen to the Amy and TJ podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

You take my breath away. I spent the last 15 years in my life fighting like hell to make sure that I never ended up here. But then I met her. The name's Anna. Hey, Anna, I'm Nico. Didn't realize you were a professional musician. From interval presents, a new romantic thriller podcast,

starring Jason DeRulo and Alexandra Ship. There's someone about you that I haven't been able to look away from. Nico, we don't even know each other. Let's no turn it back if we do this. I'm not a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict.

I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict.

I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. I'm a drug addict. Listen to underwater on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. One of, there's a list of the hierarchy of stressors and psychologist, she is it.

And if I'm not mistaken, each stressor has a point. And if you score below a certain point level, you're considered like high, high stress. And it's, you know, the death of a child, the death of a spouse, the loss of a job. And it's the highest stressors all the way down to like losing a baseball game is 1,000, you know, and number one is, and if you add up all the stressors somebody has, and it has, and the number is low enough score,

they're considered our stress, but sick children, being split from your spouse, business troubles and financial troubles are all like in the top 20. So I can only imagine what they're going through. And so eventually, you said five years, so I guess at this child's eighth birthday, they finally figured out what a medicine that worked.

There was an experimental medicine that at the time my understanding is wasn't even approved by the FDA. They were able to try it. It was able to somewhat control his seizures. Bradley had suffered so much brain damage and other issues cerebral palsy from all the seizures. And he had to relearn how to walk. He had to relearn how to talk. He had to wear a helmet, but he couldn't exit the hospital. And so you met him at 14, which is six years after a heavier, I mean, this poor kid didn't know anything about the hospital. And the twins didn't know anything, but my brother in the hospital. I mean, it's almost like't know anything about the hospital and the twins didn't know anything but my brother in the hospital.

I mean, it's almost like boiling the bubble kind of thing. They've only known Bradley, the twins know Bradley the same way I do, which is we only know this Bradley. So we don't have the grief that his dad has from the first three years. Right. I've remembering your first born child and all the hopes and dreams that you have. So now you've let it up to the day you first met Bradley. So I asked a question again now that we filled in the backstory. What did you see and what was your impression the first day you met Bradley?

So Bradley is really tall and I remember seeing this probably six-foot tall 14-year-old boy, right? That was acting like a kindergarten kid. And he was drooling its side effect of his medication. Or his arms drawn. And he was his arms drawn. He his arms can extend over time. They're getting more and more drawn. And so that's something. I'm talking with back then. He was like he was a lanky tall skinny helmet.

No helmet. No helmet. No wheelchair standing up tall. No walkers. No, he can he can move around And I just I had never met anyone like him and he has his dad's exact personality, you know, he's the friendliest guy. He's never met a stranger You know and just comes right up to you and just talks to you and wants to know all about you and wants to be your friend and

had you ever been around a special needs person at any length before meeting Bradley. I had never had. Okay. Honest truth. You had to have paused a little thinking, okay, how do I approach this? thinking, okay, how do I approach this? Definitely. And in those early months of our relationship, you know, I would go over to Bob's house and spend time with him and the kids,

and Bradley would still have seizures. I remember the first time I saw him have a seizure, I had never seen anything that frightening. And of course, they're all acting like, oh yeah, he has grand mall seizures, which are the ones that were really, really shake. So do you have to put in a mouthpiece? What about Stong and his teeth? No, he doesn't have to wear a mouthpiece. His only last a few seconds. But then he's out for hours while his brain kind of reboots. The brain has to rebate. Right. It was impossible to do, you know, family outings because Bradley could have a seizure and then he's going to be out. And at this

point, he's six feet tall. How are you? Can't just pick him up. So did you consider, do I want to marry this? You know, I never did. I always just knew this was part of this family. This was really important to Bob. I mean, he is so involved in his kids' lives. It's just such a big part of who he is in his identity. And when we were first spending time together, he was telling me all about his kids and how proud he was.

And our first dates were going to watch Blair play soccer. He'd come pick me up and then we'd drive going to watch Blair play soccer. You know, he'd come pick me up and then we'd drive out and watch Blair play soccer or take him rollerblading or things like that. Did you ever, the first time you went out in public with Bradley, the very first time? Did you feel the stares? Oh, I still feel them.

I remember the first time. Yeah, the first time. I remember the first time I took Bradley to a grocery store and it was just he and I And we're walking down the aisles together and we're having a great time and talking about what kind of cereal do you want and Just laughing and joking and I remember walking down an aisle and seeing people coming on the other side and watching them See us and walk away and go into a different aisle. What it makes you feel like? Hold it. Honestly, the first time. I'm sure it made you feel defensive for Bradley, but it embarrass you a little. It was all the emotions. It was the anger.

Did it embarrass you a little? Oh, it was embarrassing. It was the anger. It was sadness. It was just all these emotions. And then I'm looking at Bradley and he is so unaware that any of this has happened and he doesn't perceive any type of slight and it's just been a huge lesson for me being around Bradley of what's really important and what's not. And I really think And I really think that my journey with Bradley has made me a much better person. So I was, I wouldn't get this right because I'll be corrected on this if I don't get it right. I was 23 when I went to pick up this girl but I was trying to get to go out with me. And

when you're trying to get a girl to go out with you, when you go back in my day, and my requirement for my girls, by the way, is you get out of your car and you go up to the door, you walk in, you shake a parent's hand, you introduce yourself, and then you take a young lady out on a date, which I required of my girls, but I think is becoming a greater and greater lost art conversation for another time, but nobody was taking my kid out that wouldn't come in and shake my hand with me in my eyes. And I would be in timid days and couldn't try to scare the hell out of them, but that's all in the stories.

But I went in and went on in this middle aged woman who happened to be the girl I was asking out's mother who was very attractive, and I thought, hmm, well, if she's pretty 45 or however old she is, her daughter's gonna be pretty good luck in the middle age. So, you know, check that box. We got longevity. And the girl comes down the stairs and she's got Brunette hair and beautiful eyes and

a big bow in her hair. And we really keep sweater on. It was football season, it was fall. And just took my brother away, she's beautiful. And I married her. And as she was coming down the stairs around the corner came this kid that was I think eight. corner came this kid that was I think eight and he had a brown, wierry hair that I mean best would be described as almost an afro and his

name was bin and he walked upright to me and stuck his hand out and said my name bin and shook his hand and he was clearly special needs. He was not a child with downs, he was not an epileptic, he was not, there's really no tag for what he was. And my first impression was, wow, you know, look at this beautiful woman, this beautiful young lady in this beautiful house, and here's a special needs kid. And I never equated the humanity and reality of special needs and family until that very moment. Well, took Lisa out and we dated and while we dated, Ben became more and more part of my life and I'll never forget we went to the first time I ever took Ben out

I took Ben and Lisa to Panchos, which is local Mexican place Not like Bob's text Max. No, this is the one with the flag. Yeah, that's right That's exactly right because that's all I could afford at the time. They also had Mexican restaurants back then in Memphis, maybe in Texas, but they had a magician on weekends that would walk around and do little magician things, because this is a place that had like menus that had crayons for the little kids and all of that. We're sitting there eating our sauce and cheese, waiting on whatever reward the magician came by. And I thought, yeah, it's like I'm a dollar to do a trick.

I'm trying to press my girlfriend on how what a cool guy I am with her little brother. And he like pulls a quarter out from behind Ben's ear and Ben freaks out, those chips up there and bolts out the front door. And I'm chasing them through the, because he didn't understand. Right. Um, the stairs. The reaction, the clown, the man behind the makeup and his horrified reaction. Um, the three Hispanic dudes playing the Hispanic music in the corner, stop playing music.

When Ben hit that door, it's long open hard, and so the place got quiet and everybody looked. And then I finally riled him up out of the parking lot, got him calm down, explained to him it was just a trick. Nothing to be afraid of. And got him to sit down and the walk back to my table through the rush front was like a walk of shame. Yeah.

Um, I'll never forget it. It affected me. And I'll be honest with you and all candor, I was embarrassed. And I hate that about myself at that time of my life because I didn't have the maturity to handle the embarrassment. Certainly I was sad for been and certainly I was hurt for him, but I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed like, you know, the people think I'm weird because I'm walking around with a special needs kid. And I'll never forget how mortified I was the next day

when I woke up and thought, that's just wrong to be embarrassed. And everybody's reaction to Ben, because these special needs is sick. And he's a human being with heart and emotions and wants and desires and experiences love and hurt and all of the things every human being has. And that I made a decision on that day

that I would never be embarrassed to have been, and I would be as advocate forever, because I planned on marrying a sister, and I knew that marry your sister, marry my brother, you marry a family, don't just marry a person. And then with the part of the package, and then still very important in my life to this day. But another thing I learned through this epic 30-year journey that has been living in Ben's

life is Gary and Peggy are at least as parents, been parents. And they're in their early 70s now. And one of the biggest concerns is what happens if we outlive them. They are mortally fearful of that. And, you know, Lisa and I are now in concern. We have conservatorship and no matter what, Ben will be taken care of. Our children who are now in their mid 20s understand, if we precede Ben and Duth, they're the conservators

and they're going to take care of Ben. And we are very fortunate that we have the means to take care of them. I have seen so many special needs walking the sidewalks is homeless. I have seen so many special needs, people institutionalized. There are special needs people in prison. There are special needs people all over the place that were either cast out by their families or their primary caretaker. They outlive their primary caretaker and there was no functionality for them. And my experience had been over 30 years has taught me the societal ill. When did you become aware of all these realities?

You know, I think for me it's been just like you described both instantaneous when you have something like that happen and you sort of realize it all at one time. But then also just gradually over time, the more and more that you live and love someone with special needs, the more you see how they're just completely excluded from society. And they're also excluded from so much of life. And then, despite all of that, somehow they put a smile on their face and find a way to be happy in life only to be only to be almost demonized or looked down on a fairly large percentage of the public. And that breaks my heart. And I will tell you something else, you know, in the age of whopess and political correctness, we hear about all kinds of words that we shouldn't use. And we're all, but it is a weekly basis

that I hear some, you know, if I do something goofy or like spill my coffee over the thing, someone says, oh my gosh, you're such a retard. You know what? You know what? I'm offended by that. And if anybody listening uses that and they're typical vocabulary, you need to understand that you are you're making fun of and demonizing people who literally

have made no choices to have the disabilities they have and you should erase that word from your vocabulary immediately because you're not. I've had this conversation with some people we call it the R word. You know, we don't say it. I said it because I wanted to make sure people are there. Of course. But it's the R word just like the N word, just like the F word, just like all the other words. And so many times people will say, you know, but Bradley wasn't around.

You know, he didn't hear me say it. Oh, so it's okay to use these other words when the people you're talking about and referring to on around, is that okay? It's not okay, but the other thing I try to share with people is I heard it. It hurts me. It hurts me. That's such a good point. More than it's is I heard it. It hurts me. It hurts me more than it's

ever going to hurt Bradley. It hurts me. It hurts Bob. It hurts Blair. It hurts Brent. It hurts the people who care about Bradley, whether he hears it or not, whether whether you even know him, when you say that word, you don't know who's around you that's struggling with somebody in their family or someone in their place of worship or someone in their, you know, sphere or their school that you're offending that person. And they may not tell you because there's still such a stigma around this disability. And the fact of the matter is, anyone can be born with this disability. You could be rich, poor, you could be any ethnicity, right? And you're just born. It really does not discriminate. No, you're just born with some more challenges and the rest of us have. By the way, I'm gonna tell you something. Like I said, Ben is not a kid with Downs, Ben is not

that. Gary and Peggy also found out that Ben had a disability at three and a half years old. And until then, look normal, act normal, walk normal. And that's sick. And if you look at his MRI today, his frontal lobe just looks like Swiss cheese, and they think it was encephalitis. But he was completely normal.

And so when you talk about the dreams and the aspirations and goals that are then, it's, listen, it's always a tough challenge. When you have a disabled child, and I'm not comparing any bodies, but in this particular case, and it sounds also like bobs with Bradley, is that it's one thing to deal with it in the womb or at birth. It's another thing to have plans and it three years old have everything change. Again, no comparisons. It's all hard. But what I'm telling you is I really identify with your story. I completely get it. And I get the fear of the long-term care, both the expense and what happens if I'm not around. And what do we do with this person? Because

people think oftentimes of of challenge kids as just that kids, but here it newsflash, they become 30 and 40. And 50 and 60 and 70. And what happens then? Right. I mean, advances in modern medicine are terrific. I remember when I would first take Bradley to get his eyes checked, right? He couldn't read. He would stumble around and we all thought, well, this is because of his disability. And we take him to the eye doctor and they'd hold up the chart and ask him what letters and numbers. And he doesn't know the letters and numbers anyway.

Oh wow. So then they would hold up, you know, stuffed animals or bears or fingers and try to figure out what he could see. And fast forward to today, you take Riley to the eye doctor. They put his eyes in the little machine. It wears and spins and spits out his prescription. And all of a sudden, he gets glasses and he can see things. He can still only read about 100 words.

You know, but he doesn't trip in fall as much. And we realize all of this time he couldn't see. And that's just one example. Think about all the times that they have, you know, something that hurts or an injury or a flu or something. And our community can't communicate it. Ben has had that. Ben actually had a tooth that the dentist said

must have been like, would have put you in me in the hospital and pain and Ben went to eatin'. Well, let me tell you something. Ben's a big boy, he likes food. It'd been eight and something's wrong. Wherebythal is a stomach is this is that and lo and behold,

he's got a tooth that's about to come out of his head and he couldn't communicate it, he just said it hurts back here. We'll be right back. Hey, this is Justin Richmond, host of the Broken Record Podcast. Join me and co-hostly arose for in-depth creative conversations with the artists you love. Over the past five years, we've interviewed some of the most legendary figures in music, like Paul Simon, Ferrell, Damon Albarn, Andre 3000, and Usher. And you'll hear from rock icons like Pete Townsend, who shares wild stories about his

formative years with The Hoot, and Johnny Marr, the legendary guitarist and co-founder of The Smiths, who has an unwavering devotion to his craft. Or the stories behind the legendary hits Babyface wrote for Whitney Houston and Madonna. Plus how he collaborates with the new generation of R&B stars like Kailani and Dogey. Listen a broken record on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. In the new Amy and TJ podcast, Amy Roboc and TJ Holmes, a renowned broadcasting team with decades of experience delivering headline news

and captivating viewers nationwide are sharing their voices and perspectives in a way you've never heard before. They explore meaningful conversations about current events, pop culture, and everything in between. Nothing is off limits. This was a scandal that wasn't. And this was not what you've been sold.

The Amy and TJ podcast is guaranteed to be informative, entertaining, and above all, authentic. It marks the first time Robock and Holmes speak publicly since their own names became a part of the headlines. This is the first time that we actually get to say, what happened and where we are today. Listen to the Amy and TJ podcast on the I Heart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hard radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You take my birth away. I spent the last 15 years in my life fighting like hell to make sure that I never ended up here. But then, I met her. The name's Anna. Hey, Anna, I'm Nico. Didn't realize you were a professional musician. Ana, I'm Nico. Didn't realize you were a professional musician.

From interval presents, a new romantic thriller podcast, starring Jason DeRulo, and Alexandra Ship. There's something about you that I haven't been able to look away from. Nico, we don't even know each other. Let's no turn it back if we do this. I've already made my decision. This is what happens when you don't follow orders. Nicholas. No!

Thunderwater! Thunderwater! Thunderwater! Thunderwater! Thunderwater! Thunderwater! Thunderwater! Listen to underwater on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. cast. Oh, so you marry in full well-known what you're marrying into you got Bob and the crew and you know, I guess you're thinking about a lot about what we're talking about is Bradley and Ben and many people like him across face to the planet do become 20 and 30 and 40 and 50. And what happens to him and candidly, what can they do? Because they also want to feel a sense of fulfillment. And you're struggling with what happens from parents and all of this. And you are, if I remember the story right and correct me, but I think you find yourself in a

odd place because there's parents your age who have really young kids at special Olympics, and there's parents your husband husband age, who have kids the age of Bradley Special Olympics and you're kind of a tweener and parent with a Bradley at this age and you're here in conversations and share those conversations with us and what you decided to do about it. Yeah, that's a great memory that you have. Yes, so initially, you know initially becoming part of this family, I never thought that my entire life would change

and that Bradley's life in my life. Now that was a 24-year-old baby. Right. You didn't think made Bob the restaurant stalker with twins and a special need son, your life wouldn't get a change. You were 24 after all. Yeah, I thought I have a career.

He has a career. We've got these twins, you know, they're gonna go to high school. It wasn't that long since I'd gone to college. I kind of knew how to do that. My mom had to figure it out, you know, later in life. And so we'd both gone through it. And I thought I can help them, you know,

I know how to set them up for college visits and help them figure it out. Of course, I wanted them both to go to University of Texas at Austin, so made sure we took them to football games and did things like that. No, they both went to UT. Oh boy. So that plan worked. And then, and then with Bradley, I just had no idea. I just had no idea what what to do. I found out he could go to high school for eight years. So four years like everybody else, but he gets four extra years, which anyone... That's a Texas thing, though. No, it's actually federal. Is it? I thought that that was just a state thing. It's... Don't states handle it differently in some states. They can, but and there's

a law that individuals... I make it the acronym wrong, but it's IDEA and it says that people with these disabilities are entitled to a free public education in high school until they turn 22. So if you think about it, it's the four years of high school till you're 18 and then four additional years. Now what I have seen happen at local level in schools and states is the pressure from the school to say, but don't you want them to graduate with their class? Do you really want to hold them back? Right, I mean they're 18, they've struggled enough, do you really want to hold them back? That's the most passive-aggress aggressive, isn't it? You know, different people think they're doing the right thing for our family. That was not the right thing.

Because Bradley, when he went to school, he had pepper alleys and football games and best buddies and a school lunch that he could have a meal with people and others. How does student population treat him? Well, he went to a brand new school that had just been open in our neighborhood and he was the first student to go there and he ended up being the longest serving student.

So he knew everybody in the school, he could walk the halls and everybody knew him. It was a year or two later when the twins ended up going there to the same school. And the twins... Did he get any of the, you know, typical crap. I know he did. Um, but the twins, I don't know how much he knew. I know that the twins took it really hard and they each took it differently. I can remember Blair coming home crying. Blair the girl of white girl. One of her best friends she wouldn't come over to our house because she was you know scared of Bradley or

or just didn't feel comfortable around Bradley and you know that comes from parents oftentimes. I mean I don't know where it came from but you know Blair ended up not being friends and this was one of her best friends and she felt like she couldn't even be remain friends with this girl and it really hurt Blair. Unfortunately, that is the reality. Right. Of this. You know, I think Brent had a hard time with, you know, this is big brother. But they were both involved with different things in school and Bradley learned that anytime he met somebody, if he said, I'm Blair and Brent's big brother, people would go, Oh, and all of a sudden they'd react to them in a more positive way because they probably knew Brent or Blair or knew that there were twins, right, in the school.

And so he'd say, I'm Blair and Brent's big brother. And the funny thing is, you know, Britain Blair married now. They live on their own. And Bradley will still, if he were here today, he'd come up to you and say, I'm Blair and Brent's big brother. And so many times I have to tell him, you know, they don't know Blair and Britz, you know, that's it. That's it. And that's how he's proud of that. Clearly. Very, very proud of that. But, you know, I tried to figure out what we, what Bradley's life would be. I didn't know. Does he go to

college? Does he live on his own? Does he live with us? Does he get a job? The dreaded does he have to go to a state home? Right. I mean what? Because that's the reality also for some. I had no experience with anyone like Bradley. I had no education. I wasn't a teacher. I wasn't a medical person. I didn't know anything. I knew nothing about Bradley. And so I just set out on this journey of discovery really. And I started just doing the things that moms do, right? We went to Blair's plays

at school. We went to Brent's tennis games. We went to Bradley's Special Olympics, you know. And... Which, by the way, for those out there who have never been to a Special Olympics basketball game, bowling match or track meet or swim meet, those are the four I think I've done. Am I missing one? Well... Falling's a big one. Falling's big one. Balling spin. Swim. Braggaton. Track and field. And Bradley did Batchy ball.

That's a basketball track and field swimming and bowling. Are the ones that I've been to with and for bin. And they are hilarious. Oh, they're getting after it. They're so great. And it's such a great experience. When you think about that concept, I mean, learning a sport, especially team sport, is pretty hard. Kids spend years learning how to play basketball, what the positions are, and when you go out there,

and you see that these people, when these disabilities are able to really play basketball, I mean, they're not going to have the same athletic ability as someone without a disability. But they play and the ones I've been to, their competitive is crap. I mean, they get after it. I mean, they really play hard and it's fun to watch because they're competing

and having a really good time doing it most of them. One of the things that struck me watching that is if we can teach them pretty complicated sports over a period of years, why couldn't we teach them other things like jobs? You know, things that people say, well, they could never do that. Well, before I met Bradley, if you had said he could learn how to play basketball, I think I would have said, I don't think so. You know, I don't even think he could keep score at a basketball game. He can't count that high, right? But you put him in special Olympics. They have a plan. They have coaches. They're volunteers. They go through it and they do it through, you know, middle school and high school and they stay in high school for eight years.

And they can really play basketball. And a lot of these sports. They can run track and relay and pass a baton. And they can do swim in more than one stroke and they can bowl and all of it, which before then I would not have recognized or known it, but they can. And because of special effects. And they enjoy it. Right.

Because of special Olympics, I think a lot of people now do just accept, well, of course, they can play sports because we've all heard of Special Olympics. Yeah, so you just accept they can do that. Well, what if we spent the same amount of time and energy and organization in years teaching them other things? Teaching them a skill, teaching them a vocation, teaching them how to be independent. Could they learn those things too, right? Why isn't there a Special Olympics of jobs, for example?

Well, so what you do about it? Well, so in 2005, I guess it was, actually it was in 2002, my husband and I decided to start a nonprofit organization to help people like Bradley. We filed the paperwork just in our house for a 501c3 that was in May of 2002. That took a year. Right. At that time, we really didn't think it would become anything. I think what I thought was Bradley's going to get out of high school and doesn't make any sense in our family for Bob to quit working and watch him. So probably I'm going to leave my career and be in charge of Bradley. And I'd been out on those special Olympic sidelines with the kids Bradley's age that were in high school

and the parents that were Bob's age. And I would say, you know, what are you guys going to do? They're going to graduate, right? And they'd say, oh, well, I'm probably about to retire. to do, they're going to graduate, right? And they'd say, oh, well, I'm probably about to retire. And it just, it didn't connect with me, right? And you're right. The ones that were my age, explain why they're going to retire. Right. Because somebody has to be in charge of this person. So that's, that's the reality. A lot of people don't understand is if you're a single parent with a childlike brother, you've been, and they're through with all the state schooling that it offers at 22 or 23 years old, you may be forced

with a decision to quit and go on social security and welfare versus have a gamefully employed job because you don't have any other options. It's a real thing. I'm so glad you understand that because that is exactly what happens and people don't know that. So I would be on the sidelines of Special Olympics and the parents that were my age with the little kids, they're all sitting there saying, what are we gonna do? Yeah, but that's not a reality for them. They've got time.

No, they're worried about getting another group, you know, a steady group or, or, you know, yeah, or something like that. And they're, they're energetic and they're wanting to, you know, do something. And I'm energetic and I'm wanting to do something. But the parents of the adults, right, they've been doing this for 20 years. Yeah, at 46, 47. The truth is, look, let me, and reality sets it. I don't, I, I want to make sure because the candor is churnal, like, been in Bradley. The effort can be burdensome, but they are not a burden. They are a blessing. And I believe there's a special place in heaven for parents and caretakers of people like Bradley and Ben. and I am not saying that they themselves are a burden, but the truth is 20 years of caring for folks like that

will wear you out. It wears you out. It is exhausting and there is no such thing as a break and you can't get away and try getting a babysitter for Bradley. No. Good luck. You're try getting a babysitter for a 30 or 40 year old, right, person with all of these challenges and behaviors that you can afford, you know, and even if you could find somebody. And that's the thing, it's not that they're a burden.

You're right. It's that our society, our world, isn't set up for them at all. But it is a fact that the work is hard, it's burdensome, it is. So I just wanna make the distinction as we talk about this through, we're not identifying the human being as a burden,

but the work itself is hard. And so when you're 46 or 40, I get it. The 28 year old with a five or six year old, special needs person is thinking about play day. The 46 47 year old when the school's running out, there kind of, many of those folks are at the end of options, really. And some literally do have to quit their jobs. Absolutely, they do. And so when we started our 501C3, what was going through my mind was,

okay, and my family, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna leave my career, take care of Bradley. And the irony of this is you're actually the age of most of the parents with five year olds. Right. But you're in the place of the parents with the eight out of the 22 year olds, which is an odd place for you to be. And I thought, okay, there's these single moms that I see, you know, every other

week out at Special Olympics. I'll take their kids too, because it didn't make any sense to me that they would have to quit their jobs, right? So I thought to myself, you know, we'll get four or five or six of them and I'll come up with activities. I was very loose idea, like maybe we'll go to the zoo one day or maybe we'll, you know, kind of, I don't know what I thought. Maybe I thought I'd have a little school in my house. I don't know what I thought. It was a very loose plan.

It's just, it's just do something. It was like do something, right? Because I... So would anybody invite you to this? No. Did anybody or Daniel? No. Did anybody or Dan you? No. You are a normal gal from East Texas,

married the stalker, inherited his children, and so on eat. It is. There's normal as they come, just a gal that grew up normal, got married, went to college, had a job, and you see any. I feel that anybody does these things for their kids and this was the position I was in.

It was the most logical normal thing to do is take care of your kid. So, yeah, so that was how the idea started. We'll be right back Hey, this is Justin Richmond, host of the Broken Record Podcast. Join me and co-hostly arose for in-depth creative conversations with the artists you love. Over the past five years, we've interviewed some of the most legendary figures in music, like Paul Simon, Ferrell, Damon Albar, André 3000, and Usher. And you'll hear from rock icons like Pete Townsend, who shares wild stories about his formative years with The Who, and Johnny Marr, the legendary guitarist and co-founder of The Smiths, who has an unwavering devotion to his craft.

Or the stories behind the legendary hits Babyface wrote for Whitney Houston and Madonna, plus how he collaborates with the new generation of R&B stars like Kailani and Dogey. Listen a broken record on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. In the new Amy and TJ podcast, Amy Roboc and TJ Holmes, a renowned broadcasting team with decades of experience delivering headline news and captivating viewers nationwide are sharing their voices and perspectives in a way you've never heard before. They explore meaningful conversations about current events, pop culture, and everything in between.

Nothing is off limits. This was a scandal that wasn't. Yeah. And this was not what you've been sold. The Amy and TJ podcast is guaranteed to be informative, entertaining, and above all authentic. It marks the first time Robock and Holmes speak publicly since their own names became a part of the headlines. This is the first time that we actually get to say, what happened and where we are today. Listen to the Amy and TJ podcast on the I Heart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You take my breath away. I spent the last 15 years in my life fighting like hell to make sure that I never ended up here. But then, I met her. The name's Anna. Hey, Anna, I'm Nico. Didn't realize you were a professional musician. From interval presents, a new romantic thriller podcast, starring Jason DeRulo and Alexandra Ship.

There's someone about you that I haven't been able to look away from. You go, we don't even know each other. Let's no turn it back if we do this. I've already made my decision. This is what happens when you don't follow orders. Nicholas. No! Nicholas! No!

I'm the water! Listen to underwater on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Over the next couple of years, 2003, 2004, you know, Bradley still in high school at that time. And I really just started talking to other people about, well, what would you guys want to do? Talking to teachers, what is out there after high school? And talking to other parents with kids, Bradley said. Exactly. Talking to other parents, talking to school? And talking to other parents with kids, Bradley said. Exactly. Talking to other parents,

talking to the teachers, talking to other organizations, looking to see what else was out there in the community. And there were a lot of programs in the Houston area that were about, I sort of, they're beautiful programs and they're great.

I mean, some of these programs I personally would want to be a part of. Bradley wasn't interested in them. He didn't want to paint pottery all day long, right? That is thing. Right. A lot of these really great programs were started by moms or grandmas or, you know, whoever it was.

Well, intention people trying to find something for them to do, but here's another news flash. Just because they their special needs doesn't mean They want to be the same Box they are human beings with interest and lack of interest and Unfortunately, we seem to lump every special needs into a category of their all spent. Well, no, they're human beings like all of us that have all kinds of different interests. Exactly. And in our family, everybody worked, Bob worked, I worked, the twins had jobs every summer. They worked at the mall or they worked, you know, as lifeguards or did a number of different jobs and Bradley saw all of

us working. And he wanted to work. He wanted to be like us. And he would say, I want to get a job. And we tried, you know, we took him and helped him fill out the patience. That was a terrible experience. I bet it was. Tell me. It was, people had to look at you like you were nuts. Yeah. Yeah. You want me to hire. Right. This guy. What can he do? And I finally understood when, you know, Bob being in the restaurant business, we thought, okay, well, we'll use some of our connections to get Bradley a job.

We knew some people who owned some fast food chains. And we thought that could be really great for Bradley. And Bob, you know, put me in touch with a couple of the guys and I would go talk to them and finally one of them said to me, hold it, hold it. I got one guess. I'm sorry, I didn't rub you, but I'm thinking as a business guy right now, liability liability is a big one, right? Would have to be. It would have to be. And, but the other one, and this is the one that really, really hit home for me. Because liability, I mean, you have insurance,

you just workers comp, there's a lot of things, Bradley takes medications, right? We're, yeah. But what if a kid has a seizure over a fire? Right, but you can work around those things to start making things. You can't, if you have work around those things to start making stand. You can, if you have a really, really kind manager slash owner who wants to work with you, yes.

You could work around those things. To me, I thought I understand that, but I feel like we could work around that. I feel like people throw up liability because it is valid, but also because it's just a way of saying I can't do it. Yes, it's a stall. And then one of these individuals said to me, you know, Jane, it doesn't matter if I want to do it.

I'm the owner and I tell my people to do it, right? It comes down to who is that manager at that particular location. And do they want to work with them? And what is that experience going to be like? And you're telling me that I'm going to tell that manager to hire someone with no work experience, right? And a disability. And I've got 17 year old kids beating down my door that I've already had three or four

jobs, right? That are going to be frankly more productive. And even if they were fired at their last job, they come in and say, you know, I learned my lesson. I'll wear the right shirt. I'll wash my clothes or whatever it is. So the answer is you found out getting him a job was a dead end. Right.

And what I also learned was, okay, let's fix that. Love it. Right? If he doesn't have any job experience, how can we get him some job experience? If that's the problem, we should be able to fix that. So that's sort of a little bit of the genesis of how the idea for what eventually became the heart program got started. Which is an acronym for housing entrepreneurship and readiness training. All right, since we're into language, we're gonna take a mini break.

Sure. And it was pointed out to me by Alex the pain in the ass producer. Alex rightly pointed out, and I think it's a good chance while we're talking about language and a good intermission before we get into the meat of your amazing organization. Talk about, I think there are a lot of people who

use words the wrong way because they're just jerks. There's another lot of people who really want to say the right thing. And then there's another segment who want to say the right thing? And then there's another segment who want to say the right thing, but are really put off by like way too political correct Woteness. I think there's kind of a spectrum of people as it comes to language. I'm the middle person. I don't want to be a jerk, but I'm also not really into the big political correctness thing. I mean, I think there was a time in our nation's history where we needed to get politically correct with our language because it was wrong. I think the pendulum swung and it's gotten just out of control in some respects.

But when referring to what I am calling children who have downs or special needs children or challenged or whatever. Even after 30 years of been and being an advocate for him, being in love with his sister and his sister having been a sort of Lisa has been amazing with her brother. Take some shopping, take some everywhere. He can't wait to get home and see Lisa. Where's my sister?

I mean, but even after 30 years of that, I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to say. So, before we get to heart, since we're talking about language and acronyms, what the hell are we supposed to call, Ben and Bradley? Would you help me with that? Well, do you, don't do you know what I mean? Look, language is always evolving,

and I will tell you what I think we're supposed to say, but I say it knowing that there's probably someone listening who would correct me, right? It's always changing. But the movement right now is to put the person first. And so, we don't want to refer to people as blind, right? Or visually impaired, because that's funny, because visually impaired was the improvement to blind. Right. And it is. And it is. It can be. But the idea is if you say he's blind or he she's blind, he's visually impaired, she's visually impaired. You're putting the disability first instead of the person. So it's this idea that we're supposed to say he's a person

who has a visual impairment. Right. He's a young man who has Down syndrome. He's a person with a... Okay. So Ben is a person with special needs? Yes. And he's a person man who has Down syndrome. He's a person with an... Okay, so Ben is a person with special needs. Or, yes, and he's a person. It sounds like with Down syndrome, if you want to share the diagnosis, some people get particular about sharing a medical diagnosis and hip and all that kind of... So it's person-first language.

It's person-first, people-first. I don't think that's overly ridiculously woken-year-in-year that. It's not, but it gets wordy and complicated, which is why I think a lot of times we shorten it to say special needs. In the case of Bradley, what would I say? I would say he's a person with an intellectual

and developmental disability. What they call IDD for short, so he's a person with IDD. But the vast majority of people that I meet, what does that mean?D. But the vast majority of people that I meet, what does that mean? Right, if the vast majority of people I meet, if I say, oh, Bradley has IDD, he's a person with IDD, they have no idea what I just said. And even if I say he's a person

with an intellectual or developmental disability, they might just say, oh, okay. And they might have some vague idea about what that is. If somebody really genuinely wants to know more about it, and I'll say, you know, he's a person with an intellectual developmental disability, they'll say, but what, you know, tell me more. Tell me more. Tell me more.

You know, what? Tell me more about Bradley. Just like you did in this podcast, right? In this conversation, tell me more about Bradley. Tell me more about his experience, because as you said, someone with special needs or challenges is different from anyone else who has special needs or challenges. Even those deciding on some end to one class or it is and thinks they all want to play sports.

Lord have mercy. It's a mix back. It is. I've learned that in a big, big way. I watched a kid in a wheelchair whose father, the kid was, I assume it was cerebral palsy. You can help me here. He had a wheelchair that he could move with his shoulders because his hands were drawn. He was fisted and drawn up and so was feet and he was really skinny and his knee sat to the side and his feet sat to the other way. And he had like one of those wheelchairs with the pads on the side and the rear. So it was kind of like a head support.

And he showed up at special Olympics bowling. And I thought, oh, okay, this is going to be interesting. And I thought, oh, okay, this is going to be interesting. And his mother pushes him in. His mother and father push him in. I watch the whole time. I can't wait to see what this is going to look like. And then his father leaves and comes back and his father built a wooden ramp

that rested on the ground and then on the arms of his wheelchair and then had a platform at his chin. And they would put the bowling ball in his pounds, he would ratchet around his wheelchair to line up with those three pounds and nudge that ball to get down and try to hit the other three pounds. The kid was bowling. And I just will never forget thinking about how much heart that kid, that had to have exhausted him, frankly. And what the parents did to get him to do something.

And all I'm saying is, is that these kids are not one size for all. There are so many different things and challenges. I mean, Ben is really how functioning. He dresses himself. He shades himself and all that. And so I think about the challenges with Ben, and then I think about what those parents had with that young man. Yet he was bowling with his chin. And so there's two things for that.

It's not one size fits all. And next time you wake up in the morning, fully able to enter pissed off at something, try to think about that story and look in the mirror and straighten up because you ain't got it bad. I completely agree. And what about that dad? What an amazing father.

How amazing. And I think you probably see this with Ben and I see it with Bradley. How many parents are just incredible. And they go to the same place. I kind of said earlier, and I mean it, there's a special place in heaven for people that care for people with special needs.

And we all know about, you know, the dance moms and the PTA moms and the- Yeah, but we don't know about these guys. And the football boosters and all of these things. And the parents of our guys, right? Like, they're amazing too. And that concludes part one of my conversation with Jane Borkov and part two is now available, which dives much deeper into her extraordinary nonprofit, the heart program.

And I'm telling you guys, you don't want to miss it. I'll see you in part two. Hey everyone, it's Sophia Bush, host of Podcast Work and Progress, and I am thrilled to tell you that work and progress is back for a third season. It has never been more important than right now to have these conversations with all of you so that we can get educated and lightened and we can all be entertained. I will be sitting down and having deep conversations with thought leaders, newsmakers, celebrities, elected officials, and more. Listen to workin' progress on the I Heart RadioRadio app Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. The celebrity memoir holds up a mirror to society.

That's why we started our podcast. Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily. Where we read celebrity memoirs, total guilty pleasures, and then synthesize probing cultural analyses from the text, from Jessica Simpson to historical figures like Helen Keller. Isn't that a delicious mix of high-brow and low? It certainly is. Listen to Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or Rever You Get Your Podcasts. Hey, this is Justin Richmond, host of the Broken Record Podcast.

Join me along with co-hostly arose as we sit down with the artist you love to get unparalleled creative insight. You'll hear revealing interviews with some of the most legendary figures in music, like Paul Simon, Usher, Pete Townsend, Damon Albarn of the Grillis, and Missy Elliott. And you'll hear from up-and-comers, like jazz artist Levy, who told me about her fast rise to fame during the pandemic. Listen to Broken Record on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. in a broken record on the iHeart video app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

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