An Army of Normal Folks - Jessica Lamb: Changing Lives One Tattoo At A Time (Pt 1)

Episode Date: December 26, 2023

Jessica is a survivor of child molestation and human trafficking, who found her calling helping other survivors transform painful reminders of their past into symbols of hope. Her nonprofit Atlanta Redemption Ink, and their network of 80 tattoo shops across the country, have helped 673 people get tattoos removed and covered up that were from their sex traffickers, gangs, addiction, or self-harm.Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We actually do more than just tattoos from exploitation and trafficking. We cover and remove gang tattoos from former gang members. We also cover up self-harm scars. We also people that have been using IV drugs that are left with scarring and bruising from IV drug use. We help cover those. You're regardless of the trauma of the depths of desperation these people in, you are trying to cover up the things that they have to look at on themselves so

they can change the ugliest time of their life into something pretty, so that they can get past the daily reminder on their own bodies of their own trauma. Yes, it's phenomenal, Jessica. Welcome to an Army of Normal Folks. I'm Bill Courtney. I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, a father, an entrepreneur, and I've been a football coach in our city Memphis in the last part unintentionally led to an Oscar for the film about our team. It's called undefeated. I believe our country's problems will never be solved by a bunch of fancy people and nice suits,

using big words that nobody understands on CNN and Fox, but rather an army of normal folks, us. Just you and me deciding, hey, I can help. That's what Jessica Lamb, the voice we just heard is done. Jessica is a survivor of child molestation and human trafficking, and she's transformed all of that pain into purpose. Her nonprofit Atlanta Redemption Inc. and their network of 80 tattoo shops across the country have helped 673 people get tattoos removed and covered up that were from get this.

Their sex traffickers, gangs they were in, during times of addiction or even self-horn, this and their beyond ink services are changing lives. I cannot wait for you to meet Jessica right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. When Walter Isaacson set out to write his biography of Elon Musk, he believed he was taking on a world-changing figure. That night he was deciding whether not to allow Starlink to be enabled to allow a sneak attack on Crimea. What he got was a subject who also sowed chaos and conspiracy. I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy

Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social emotional networks. And when I sat down with Isaacson five weeks ago, he told me how he captured it all. They had Kansas spray paint and they're just putting big axes on machines and it's almost like kids playing on the playground. Just choose them up left, right, and center. And then like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, he doesn't even remember it, getting the bars, done an excuse being a total f***. But I want the reader to see it in action. My name is Evan Ratliffe, and this is On Musk with Walter Isaacson.

Join us in this four-part series as Isaacson breaks down how he captured a vivid portrait of a polarizing genius. Listen to On Musk on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl McCollum, host of the Colkase Podcast, Zone 7. Join us every Wednesday to hear cases like the Long Island Serial Killer. Here, Carrie Rossin, daughter of the notorious Serial Killer BTK, weigh in on the accused Long Island Serial Killer's children. You show, like, genuine interest, and you can't fake it. But these guys can see, like, right through to your soul. So you have to be, like, walled off, prepared.

And if you don't know your stuff, they're going to just call you out. And they're going to be like, nope, I'm talking to somebody else and not talking to you. Here great insight from one of New York City's finest detective Joe Jackalone, a Col. K. Secksburg. You know, as well as I do, cops weren't even aware of it back then.

So they're going to have some difficulty putting those cases together, unless, of course, he confesses. Listen to zone seven with Cheryl McCollum on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Get ready because Aaron and Karrissa from Calm Down have got

something special coming up at State Farm Park in I Heartland, a reading of Twisted Night Before Christmas. They'll impuse it with stories and memories tying into the holiday spirit. Don't miss this special event starting Thursday to 7th as 7pm Eastern at State Farm Park in I Heartland in Fortnite, available all weekend long.

Afterwards, stick around and check out all the exciting things State Farm has to offer. Say hi to Jake from State Farm on the big screen and try to be Jake's core at the parkour minigame. Visit iHeartRadio.com slash iHartland to start playing today. Um, Jessica Lamb, welcome to Memphis. Hey, thanks for having me. Can't wait to talk about the work you do, but there's a lot to unpack to, for our listeners to understand the work that you do. But before we even get into it, fair warning, this one's going to maybe make you cry. This one's going to probably

have you question all kinds of things about the reality of our society. And, you know, buckle up and brace because as far and deep as Jessica goes with me today, I don't want to pull any punches on this because as we, as you today sit in your car listening or jogging around the track with your headphones in or on an airplane or wherever you're listening to me now, it is likely that you are in a safe environment and have at least enough income and enough, you're blessed with enough that you can afford whatever device you're listening to us on. And we are not often reminded

about the situations that exist 10, 15, 12 miles from us where people are living in not only object poverty, but circumstances that we don't really even want to imagine. And Jessica serves people from those very realities and was once herself part of that. And we're going to unpack it all. So buckle up and hopefully you'll learn something from Jessica's story and her heart in what she does now. So let's start off.

Tell me how you grew up. So I'm one of four kids and I grew up in a two-parent home. My dad served in ministries. He's also grew up in Messianic, Jewish. My dad served in ministries, also grew up Messianic Jewish, so my father's Jewish. Okay, hold up. Messianic Jewish is not what many people get because Messianic Jewish is like kind of, it's Jewish and Christian-ish and jumbled up and combined into a faith, right? Yeah, so I had, yeah. I don't know what I'm talking about,

but unpack that for a minute for. Just give us the elevator pitch on Messianic Judaism. Well, I grew up in a Pentecostal church or a assembly of God church, but my father grew up Jewish. And so I had an interfaith type of at home environment. So we celebrated Christmas and Hanukkah, Passover, Rosh Hashana.

So we celebrated both holidays in one home. But I grew up in an evangelical or a Pentecostal church. Got it. Interesting. Okay. So you want a four? One of four. Yant, where do you fall in pecking order there? So I have an older brother and then I'm the second

and then I have a younger sister and then a little brother got it All right, and so you grew up in this this home of four and connected mom and dad and Church going what's dad do for a living? Well my dad's in sales, but he was also a pastor so he oh so he wasn't a layperson He was actually close. Yeah both of them worked and managed both my parents worked in ministry and also did missionary work. We did a lot of stuff on the streets of Atlanta throughout my whole life. Even at a young age, I grew up doing outreach.

My parents instilled that in us when I was very small. I actually was sharing the story earlier with somebody on my way to the airport that when I was seven years old, my parents gave me a brand new bike for Christmas. And it was the bike that I had always wanted, but there was nothing wrong with my bike that I had before. And so I knew that we were gonna be going downtown and doing our reach that week.

And I was like, dad, I wanna give my bike, my brand new bike to one of these kids. And he was like, are you sure? And I was like, absolutely. So I ended up giving my brand new bike to one of these kids. And he was like, are you sure? And I was like, absolutely. So I ended up giving my brand new bike that I got in for Christmas to a kid on the streets. And my parents went back and got me another, you know, brand new bike. And I know that sounds a little boozy, but I just, I just like,

it's something that I just always stuck with me. And even when I was on the streets, I've always had a heart to help people. Like, even when I was in my own mess, I always tried to find ways to help somebody. And so it's just been instilled in me at a young age and my parents instilled that in me. Yeah, I mean, if they're missionaries

and working on the streets, it's just becomes part of your nature and who you are. Yeah, I mean, if they're missionaries and working on the streets, it's just becomes part of your nature and who you are. And, you know, spoiler alert, you ended up on the streets, but right now we're seven years old living in this organic family that seems like it's perfect from the outside. Yeah. But it wouldn't. I experienced some, I mean, I'm just going to jump right in. So at 14, we were always opening our homes up to people in need. So if there was like a family that was in crisis or a family that was homeless or in need of some help, my parents had a big enough house to be able to,

you know, to be able to take them in. And we would, my dad would help them as much as possible. And there was one man that they brought in when I was a teenager and my older brother had gone off to Bible college, and the guy began sexually abusing me, and he would sneak in in my room at night and sexually abuse me. How'd we? I was 14. And he was.

Probably in his late 20s. But he was going through a divorce from domestic violence and, uh, so he would come in my room. At first, it started out with, uh, I can go buy you a pack of cigarettes. You know, like, it was almost, it was grooming. Like, I'll buy you a pack of cigarettes. You know, I'll, I'll help you do this. I'll help you do that.

I'll, I'll give you a ride, you know, and it was just different things that he would do to get me to be quiet about what he was doing at night. And so I started sneaking out at my house, I started self-harming. Well, when you were... All right, first of all, let me just say this. I think there's a special place in hell for adults who abuse children. Just wanna say that. I just don't, I think it's a certain level of evil

and probably mental sickness as well. So you're 14 and you're used to your family reaching out to people in need, right? So we actually trusted this man. He actually worked in our church. He worked in the church. Yeah, he was he worked in our church and we he was a family friend and they were trying to help him out and so initially you're 14 year old kid and your parents have always done

this work and this is just another person in need and you're trusting. Yeah, I was like, Oh, this is a family friend. And it was, he just felt like he could pray on me. And he did. And it started, just I started spiraling. And when I began spiraling, like my grade started going down, ended up getting kicked out of school for stealing exacto blades from the art room so I could self-harm. So I got sent to alternative school and so when I went to alternative school I actually found kids that were like me but the person that was driving me to my alternative school when I wasn't on the bus to go there was the man that was also sexually abusing me. So, you know, and in 14. You've been raised by a loving mother and father. You know right from wrong. And this guy starts grooming you. But you get people got to remember

it 14. I don't remember what I was like at 14. My parents were goobs. They were nerves. They were embarrassing. I was trying to break out become a person. And so it's really this, it's really this, this is really risky time for a, for a teen, really, 14, 15, 16 year. You're trying to figure out who you are, but you have no wisdom to compensate for lots of dangers that come your way. And so I'm envisioning you at 14, this kid, and this house, and I guess my question is over what period of time from when he showed up until the abuse started, and then what period of time

did it start having an effect on your behavior? You see what I'm saying? I'm trying to unpack the timing of that. Well, I want to go back a little bit because like I was pretty good in school, even though I was I was in special ed classes because I didn't really get along really well with the kids in my classes. And I didn't want to really do the schoolwork or kind of want to focus on art and drawing all the time. And they wanted me to really do the schoolwork, or kind of want to focus on art and drawing all the time,

and they wanted me to focus on the academics. And I went to a very, one of the best high schools and or one of the best schools in Georgia. I was in a great school district, and I just didn't really fit in with the type of kids that were there, but where I found my place was in music. And so I used to compete through like the fun, the Georgia Fine Arts festivals. And I would sing and I would compete in and

it could be singing, hopefully. Yeah, vocally. Yeah. And I loved it. I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to work for Pixar Animation. Like these were my, these were like my dreams. And I remember right before I went to this competition, I ended up losing my place because I got so nervous because what was going on at home. And I was pacing the stage. And so I lost points because I was like dealing with a lot of anxiety and I was like harboring this secret.

And so I was pacing the stage, during the competition. And so the was pacing the stage, daring the competition. And so the judges knocked off points for that. And I ended up losing out on Nationals because the gentleman was actually there in the audience. And I was very, very nervous because he was there. And I ended up losing out on my opportunity to compete nationally.

But singing was like my thing. I loved it. And so, yeah, that one, that one was painful. So, how long did you keep it a secret? I kept it a secret for a few months, and then I got in-school suspension for smoking cigarettes because the guy was giving me cigarettes and razors to sell harm and just keep me to be quiet. And so I got caught with cigarettes and went in school suspension, passed a note to a kid in the class and I was like,

hey, this is what's going on at home. You told a kid in the class. You didn't tell your parents first, just a kid. Yeah, I told a kid in the class. Was that safer for you, you think? I don't know. I just, I passed a note, so see how old I am.

I passed a note to him. Well, me, Jay, I passed a note, so, see, I'll hold it in. I passed a note to him. They're well-me-daisy, we passed no-study. I passed a note to him and I was like, this is what's going on at home. And the teacher saw me and I assess teacher, saw me pass that note and picked it up, read it and said, take this home to your parents. I want them to know what's going on,

have them sign it and bring it back tomorrow. So I tried to forge my mom's signature. Of course. Totally all did. Try to forge my mom's signature. It was very obvious because of course your parents signed stuff at school all the time. It clearly wasn't her signature. And so they... Why were you so reluctant to tell your parents? Because it was a family friend and the guy was telling me he was like, Because it was a family friend and the guy was telling me he was like, if you say anything, you're never going to sing again.

Because I used to sing in church all the time. You're never going to sing again. No one's going to believe you. Your dad's one of my friends. You're already getting in trouble at school. You know, like, I was considered like the bad kid in my family. Like, I started getting this reputation of being bad girl So he was manipulating everything. Yeah, it was coercion. It was grooming manipulations all of those things

Trying to get me to do what he wanted you've said self harm a couple of times did the self harm start after all this yes Explain self harm and why because most people explain self-harm and why, because most people listening to us have heard of people, and when you say self-harm and you've said, reservoir plates, I assume you're cut in yourself. Yes. Why does someone start? I would, this is a complete guess, but are you disgusted with yourself and so you're harming yourself or? I remember it just feeling like a release. I actually had watched a TV show one day and I saw they highlighted it on this TV show

and they were trying to bring awareness to it. I watched this girl and she did it and I was like, may that'll make me feel better. And so I remember trying it and then it just became like something that it felt like it was a way for me to just to get out whatever I was feeling inside. I know that it might not make sense, but to me at the time, it made sense and it was something that made me, it was like smoking a cigarette or like just getting some type of relief. At this guy was providing you, not only was cigarettes, it was not only grooming and manipulating,

but he was actually providing you with razor blades to hurt yourself. Yes. Because when my parents started noticing I had some cuts, things started, they started hiding things that, you know, I could hurt myself with. And so the guy would, I used to have this little zebra print makeup bag that would sit on my dresser and

he'd be like it's in the zebra bag. And so I'd open it up and there would be cigarettes and razor blades. And was he snake in your room at night? And he was yeah. He would sneak in my room at night. He he slept in the room across me which was my brother's room. So when he was away at college, he was renting that room from my parents. And so he would sneak in and sexually abuse me. So I started sneaking out my window because I knew when he was coming in.

So then I would be getting caught sneaking out. So you were getting away from him, but now you're getting in trouble for being this bad kid. Yep. So like... So you've got no way to win? Yeah, I was basically... You're a to win. Yeah, I was basically, I was like, You're a shale.

I was, I was just stuck. I was like, I am, I was scared to say something to my parents and. And you were probably at 14 and they played it enough to actually believe what you're saying was true. Yeah, I was like, Oh, I don't want to. You are already the, you are a kind of the black sheep because you're artsy and all that, right? No, for real.

And you said, well, I was kind of considered the bad kid. So you're already up against that. Now you're getting abused. Now you get manipulated. A 14 year old kid get manipulated by a 30 year old guy. That's, you know, you can certainly see that. And then you have nowhere, you feel like you feel like you have nowhere to go. So you get out of your room to get away from this abuse.

And by getting out of the room to get away from the abuse, now you're on a way from home to sneak it out at night, which makes you even a worse kid. Yeah. And so then I started hanging out with kids that were smoking pot. And so like I was like, oh, now I got self-harm, I got smoked pot, smoked cigarettes. And I was, and so like like I was just building this bad girl persona. Like I just be like I stopped, you know, doing good in school. I stopped singing. My art

declined. I started writing really, really dark poetry. I loved her right. And my, my parents were like, what is wrong with our kid? You know, like, and, but when I brought that note home, when they actually called my parents and they said, they told them like, hey, this is what Jess is saying. And my dad set me down in our living room and I remember I was sitting on the fireplace, hearth, or I'm on the seat at the fireplace

and he looked at this man and he goes, are you touching my daughter? And he goes, no, you know she's lying? You know she's doing all this stuff. And so he completely was like, absolutely not. And my dad looked at me and he's like, why would you say that? And then something clicked to my brain. I was like, wait, I don't want this guy to be homeless.

Like that's the first thing that pops in my brain, I was like, wait, I don't want this guy to be homeless. Like, that's the first thing that pops in my brain is not me and advocating for myself, not dad helped me. It was, I don't want this guy to be homeless. So I looked at my dad and out of my mouth, I said, I made it all up, I'm sorry, it's not true. It's not true, dad, I'm sorry, I made it all up. And so, of course, that continued to build up the bad reputation of me being a bad kid.

Did it embolden the span to continue with a barrier? Yes, he continued the behavior and he was like, don't try to pull that again. I'll take away your cigarettes. You know, like he was just constantly doing this. How long did you live like this? He was doing this for about a year. You lived in that house with that going on for one year. Nonstop. Yeah. Meanwhile, you're perpetually falling down a spiral of just dark, dark, dark. The...

the... the depth of that, the reality is, although at that time, I know you felt like you were all alone in the world. The truth is, which we'll get to, unfortunately, this is not that uncommon of story, and our society is it. Sorry. It's okay. I'm so sorry that you're crying.

I just, it's very brave of you to share this. People need to hear it. People need to understand that there's people like this all over the country. Kids deal with this. It's funny, and I promise it's good. It's good, right? Dude, I'm good.

Yeah. You sure? Yeah. I can't share my story without crying. It's impossible. I can't, I can't. I can't. I can't.

It's hard for me to hear it without crying. It's hard for me to hear it without crying. And now a few messages from our generous sponsors, but first, I hope you'll subscribe to the podcast so that you can get the newest episodes in your library every week. And also, please consider signing up to join the army at normalfogs.us because together we can improve this country. And you'll also receive weekly email updates about the army that you can even read. Guys, we'll be right back. When Walter Isaacson set out to write his biography of Elon Musk, he believed he was taking on a world-changing figure.

That night he was deciding whether or not to allow Starlink to be enabled to allow a sneak attack on Crimea. What he got was a subject who also soared chaos and conspiracy. I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social emotional networks. And when I sat down with Isaacson five weeks ago, he told me how he captured it all. They had Kansas spray paint, and they're just putting big axes on machines. And it's almost like kids playing on the playground. Just choose them up left, right, and center. And then like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, he doesn't even remember it, getting the bars,

done an excuse being a total f***. But I want the reader to see it in action. My name is Evan Ratliffe, and this is on Musk with Walter Isaacson. Join us in this four-part series as Isaacson breaks down how he captured a vivid portrait of a polarizing genius. Listen to On Musk on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl McCollum, host of the Colkays Podcast, Zone 7.

Join us every Wednesday to hear cases like the Long Island Serial Killer. Here, Carrie Rossin, daughter of the notorious Serial Killer BTK, weigh in on the accused Long Island Serial Killer's children. You show like genuine interest and you can't fake it. But these guys can see like right through to your soul. So you have to be like walled off, prepared. And if you don't know your stuff, they're going to just call you out and they're going to

be like, nope, I'm talking to somebody else and not talking to you. Here great insight from one of New York City's finest detective Joe Jackalone, a Col. K. Sexburg. You know, as well as I do, cops weren't even aware of it back then. So they're going to have

some difficulty putting those cases together and less of course he confesses Listen to zone seven was Cheryl McCollum on the iHeart Radio app Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast Get ready because Aaron and Karissa from calm down. If got something special coming up at state farm park in iHeartland A reading of twist and night before Christmas Bell infuse it with stories and memories tying into the holiday spirit. Don't miss this special event, starting Thursday to 7th at 7pm Eastern at State Farm Park and I Heartland in Fortnite, available all weekend long. Afterwards, stick around and check out all the exciting things State Farm has to offer.

Say hi to Jake from State Farm on the Big Screen and try to be Jake's core at the park or minigame. Visit iHeartRadio.com slash iHeartland to start playing today. But yeah, I lived like that for about a year and so now you're 16. Yep, so now I'm 16 and I ended up dropping on a high school. And when I dropped out of high school, my parents were like, well, you're gonna have to get your GED. And because I had just completely threw my academics out the window,

like I had like the education of a sixth grader, like I, or a ninth grader, whatever, I just, you know, I just didn't, I couldn't even pass the GED. And I took it multiple times. I tried to get a job, busing tables as a waitress and like just everything was just dead end. And they were like, if you've got to get a job, well, I can't get a job without a high school diploma. I can't pass the GED.

So I'm like, dang dude, like I'm stuck. And I ended up getting in a really bad fight with my dad. And he found cigarettes in my room. And money had gone missing in the house. And he thought that I had taken it. And, and like, I swear to this damn 38 years old, I never took that money. And he was like, you gotta get out. He's like, I'm tired of all this craziness, I'm tired of this, this, and this, get out. And so I was like, fine.

And so I left. And I actually moved in with my Mimal, who is still alive today. You're Mimal as a grandmother. Yes, my Mimal is my grandma. Okay. She's my freaking hero, but I'll get to that today too. But I moved in with my Memele for a few months, and my dad was like,

I think you might be a little too much for your grandma to live in her house. So why don't you come back, we'll try this again. So at 16, I came back. And then I just kept getting fights. I tried to get that GED again. I couldn't get any kind of stable job. And I started flipping through these papers called Creative Loafing in Atlanta.

It's an art magazine. And I'm into art and music. So I'm looking for jobs. And there was a one ad in there. And and it said there was a customer service representative job open with free room and board. And I was like, I'm going to show the world that I can get a job. I'll have my own place before my high school class even graduates. And so I called this phone number and a lady answers, and I tell her I was like, man, I'm not getting along with my folks here. I was like, I know I'm young.

I was like, but I'm not a school. I'm trying to get my high school diploma. And it's like, I just need a job. And she's like, oh, we always have openings. And I was like, cool. I was like, I can work a telephone. You know, I can do that. And I'll have my own apartment.

Like, cool, this works. And I was like, well, work a telephone, you know, I can do that. And I'll have my own apartment, like cool, this works. And I was like, well, let me think about it. And so it took me a couple months, gotten another really bad fight with my dad. He finally had had enough with me. And he was like, get out. He's like, undone. So I was like, fine.

And I left. Stayed with a friend from my church one night. And I thought I had it made because like he worked at this studio in Atlanta, music studio, and I hung out with him. And the next day he's like, he throws $20 on the coffee table and he's like, here's some gas money. You can't live here.

And I was like, what? You know, where am I gonna go? Cause I didn't wanna be a burden on my grandmother. I couldn't go home. So. It was dude still at home, the abuser. Yeah, he was still in the house. Oh, forgot sex.

I mean, he ended up leaving, but he was still in the house when I was going through this. So I called that ad, I called the ad in the paper, and I was like, hey, I got $20 to my name. And I remember driving to the Chick-fil-A off of Jewel Hill's in Atlanta, and I got myself a chicken biscuit, but the rest of it, my gas tank bought a pack of cigarettes. I had someone go in and buy me a pack of cigarettes.

And then I drove out to Griffon, Georgia, where I met this man at a gas station. And he was like, he's standing out there and I was like, where's your car? It's in the shop. And he's like, the house is just right down the road. And I was like, okay, like, I am naive. Can I cut this on here?

I am naive as sh**. All right, I'm a teenager. You know, then I'm like, I don't know what's going on. And so I am naive. Can I cut on here? I am naive. All right, I'm a teenager. You know, then I'm like, I don't know what's going on. And so I'm like, and you're trauma gosh. Yeah, and I've got trauma, and I don't know where to go, and I just felt completely helpless. So I go to this house and I walk in, and it's pretty empty, except for there was two other young ladies in the house.

And I hear the door shut behind me, and I'm like, this doesn't feel right. I was like, something's not right here. And I remember just feeling completely cold. And I turn around and you looked at me and he was very direct with his intentions. And... Which were what?

He was like, you're gonna do this, this, and this. What is this, this, and this? You're basically sex work. He was like, you're going to go on these calls with this girl and her name will just call her for radio sake. We'll call her Tiffany. You're gonna go on these calls with Tiffany. And you're going to service, and you're going to do this, this, and this. I just, I don't want to. I know what this is.

I know what this is. I'm sure, I'm like, I don't think. No, we're better now. We're better now. So, and I was like. You're going to go on calls, and you're going to see John's. Yeah, I'm going to see John's. What you're asked to do sexually.

Yeah. And the sexual abuse from the man that was living in our house It was never intercourse. It was just you know touching and molestation and things like that And so when I met my trafficker, I was a virgin so my first call I remember Walking down the hall of the hotel and walking down the hall of the hotel and I remember going in there with Tiffany and I was like, I don't know what to do and

I was I was shaking. I was like, I don't what's on the other side of that door, you know, I had like I had no idea and she's like if you tell Si We'll just which was what my trafficker called himself. You tell him that I did this. We're both gonna be in a lot of trouble. And so she took my first call for me. She's like, I will not do this again. You have to do this, or this, and this will happen. And so I was like terrified.

And so she took my call for me, made 300 bucks within like an hour. And I was like, I actually thought that I got to keep that money. Like, I actually thought that money wouldn't my pocket. So she handed me the money and I was supposed to hand it over to Si. And I'm actually call him Kay on the internet. But, I had the money in my pocket and he's like, where's the money? And I was like, I have it. I was like, I did it. You know, or I was like, it's my job. It was my call. And he's like, where's the money? And I was like, I have it. I was like, I did it. You know, or, and I was like, it's my job. It was my call.

And he's like, no, honey, that's not how this works. And so I ended up having to, I took the money out of my pocket, and I tried to give him half of it. And he's like, no, I get all of that. And he's like, I'll hold on to it, and I'll give you money at the end of the week. And I was like, oh, okay.

And so like, it was call, after call, after call. was like, Oh, okay. And so like it was call after call after call until like how do you at this point? I'm 17. Okay. So all of this is right. Yeah. Yeah. Because I the other I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to do any of this. And so it was just you know people would say, well, you're 17 years old, you know what you're doing. You want to answer that? By the way, before you reach cross table and slap the crap out of me, I'm playing devil's advocate and teeing this up

for you to answer that, because some people will say, 17 years old, 18 years old, trouble girl, you've had a car, you could have got it driven away. And they don't understand the mental manipulation and the power that these girls give into and the fear. Can you speak to that? So people ask me this, they say this a lot to me. They're like, well, 16 is age consent or 70 is the age of consent. And I was like, I didn't consent to any of it.

And I did have a car and I could have left, but I didn't have anywhere to go. And there was so much mind. God, this is such a bad word. There's so much mind-fuckery and manipulation. And basically, your family's not gonna take you back. That's why you're here. So you went from one manipulation and grooming in your home to another level of manipulation and grooming by professional trafficker. Yeah, so he's like, you have nowhere to go.

I know where your parents were. I know where you live. He's like, you're gonna work for me. You're going to do this. And so like three months in, I mean, yeah, I could have gotten in my car and left, but like, where was I gonna go? Like, I didn't have any friends to go to.

I couldn't have stayed with any of my friends. I didn't have, I didn't wanna be a burden on my grandmother because that's always what was sticking in my mind. It's like she's older and she was a widow and I was like, I don't wanna keep having to go back to her and put more on her and I knew I couldn't go home because I knew I was just gonna get kicked out again. So I was like, where am I gonna go?

So I stayed, not because I wanted's because I didn't have any options. We'll be right back. When Walter Isaacson set out to write his biography of Elon Musk, he believed he was taking on a world-changing figure. That night he was deciding whether or not to allow Starlink to be enabled to allow a sneak attack on Crimea. What he got was a subject who also sowed chaos and conspiracy. I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for

social, emotional emotional networks. And when I sat down with Isaacson five weeks ago, he told me how he captured it all. They had Kansas spray paint and they're just putting big axes on machines and it's almost like kids playing on the playground. Just choose them up left, right, and center. And then like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, he doesn't even remember it, getting the bars, done and excused being a total f***. But I want the reader to see it in action.

My name is Evan Ratliffe, and this is On Musk with Walter Isaacson. Join us in this four-part series as Isaacson breaks down how he captured a vivid portrait of a polarizing genius. Listen to On Musk on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl McCollum, host of the Colk case podcast zone seven. Join us every Wednesday to hear cases like the Long Island serial killer. Here, Carrie Rossin, daughter of the notorious serial killer BTK, weigh in on the accused Long Island serial killer's children. You show like genuine interest and you can't fake it.

These guys can see like right through to your soul. So you have to be like walled off, prepared. And if you don't know your stuff, they're gonna just call you out. And they're gonna be like, nope, I'm talking to somebody else I'm not talking to you. Here great insight from one of New York City's finest,

Detective Joe Jackalone, a Col. K. Secksburg. You know, as well as I do, cops weren't even aware of it back then. So they're going to have some difficulty putting those cases together, unless, of course, he confesses. Listen to Zone 7 with Cheryl McCollum on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Get ready because Aaron and Karissa from Calm Down have got something special coming up at State Farm Park in I Heartland, a reading of Twisted Night Before Christmas.

They'll infuse it with stories and memories tying into the holiday spirit. Don't miss this special event starting Thursday to 7th at 7 p.m. Eastern at State Farm Park in I Heartland in Fortnite, available all weekend long afterwards. Stick around and check out all the exciting things State Farm has to offer. Say hi to Jake from State Farm on the big screen and try to be Jake's core at the parkour minigame. Visit iHeartRadio.com slash I Heartland

to start playing today. There were about three months in, he was like, you know, you're not giving me any trouble. So he's like, I want you to show me that you're loyal to me. And he's like, I'm going to take you to this tattoo shop down the road. And we're going to tattoo you with the same thing that Tiffany had. So I go into this tattoo shop and I was like, I'm not even old enough to get a tattoo. In state of Georgia, you have to be 18 to get a tattoo and a professional tattoo shop. And he's like the artist,

had a fetish or a fantasy of getting oral sex while tattooing someone. So Tiffany gives him oral sex in exchange for my tattoo, and I was tattooed on my wrist and on my backside. At this one time? Yes. At the same time. At the same time. So I had this tattoo on me on my wrist and on my backside, and I felt disgusting. And I also branded. Yeah, I, I mean, you became property.

Yeah, people refer to it at branding, tagging tattoos, but usually sometimes when people hear branding, they think of burns like. No, but what I'm saying is we're not gonna discuss what the tattoos are, but the point is this was more and more depth of drawing you into a place you could get out of. And this tattoo was when I say branding, marking, whatever, it was further connecting you to your, to, to, to the trafficker. Yeah. And the trafficker is a pimp, basically, right? Yeah, he was

basically my, my, well, I don't, I didn't call him my pimp, but he was my trafficker, yeah. But I mean, what's the difference in a trafffford-Gurrant pill? I don't see a difference. Me neither. Okay. So I get tattooed. So I get tattooed. And I felt gross with this on my body. Immediately.

Yeah. Well, I mean, of course I thought immediately, I got in a situation that I don't want to be in. I'm with a group of people that I don't want to be around. I'm doing things that I don't want to do. Is there drug use involved? No, I did not use any drugs when I was, I mean, I said from five.

No, he was pretty particular about us not using any type of drugs. Now, there were times that we would have like uppers, not like like illegalers, not like like illegal drug, but like something to keep you. No does or like no does or whatever. And then we had things like then we were allowed to smell pot. And but that was it. And then he was very particular about what kind of clients that we saw. It was just it was literally a nightmare.

And I remember how many girls, I know you and Tiffany, there was me, Tiffany and another girl that were in this house together. Did he quote, recruit them the same way that you got recruited? Tiffany was a bottom. So she, a bottom, a bottom is his main girl. And so she's the one that recruited me. And then I'm assuming the other girl was recruited by her as well. So when you called up this

ad, she's the one that answered, thinking you're going to get a job, you were talking to Tiffany. Yes. And they're completely lying to you. And then they show you show up. And it's everybody's in on it. Is what I'm saying. it's everybody's in on it. It's what I'm saying. Yeah, everybody was in on it. There was a bunch of people in this house, or all three of us were in this house. And then the traffickers nephew was living upstairs in the apartment, taking college classes,

which was really weird, because like he was not known any of it. He was just separate from everything, which I really don't talk about in my story, because it's irrelevant to my story. But it's still to my story, but it's just still it was the dysfunction. Yeah, it was very odd. Yeah. Did you ever were you ever there when they tried to recruit another girl? I never saw them trying to recruit another girl. I was only with with with Cypher six months.

The last night that I was with him, I was on a call and I was in a hotel room and it was across the street from a strip club and I was staying in this hotel. I remember looking out the window and thinking, I bet I would be so much safer in there than I am in here. And the strip club? Yeah. Which is kind of a funny story that ties into one of my best friends that I now work with anti-trafficking with because she was actually leaving that exact club at the same time that I was trying to get out of my hotel room.

So, but I remember that night I looked at it, Sine, and I was like, I don't want to do this anymore, I'm not going to. And he was like, come again. And I was like, I'm not doing this anymore anymore and I'm not going to. And he was like, come again. And I was like, I'm not doing this anymore. And I'm not going to. I was like, I want to go home. I was like, I'm 17. I don't want to be here. I want to go home.

No one's going to take you back. No one's ever going to want to be with you. Your damage goods. No one's going to love you. No one's going to want to be with your ass. All kinds of things like that. Just completely stripping away every, every bit of dignity, every bit of myself a steam.

The things that would come out of his mouth, like he thought it was always funny, and it wasn't. It was very damaging. And I just remember. Well, the farther he breaks you down and the less self-esteem and dignity you have, the more you become is puppet. Yeah, and and no more to pinned it upon him. You are in a weird sense. And he was like the guys that we the guys that are calling they like you because you're younger. The guys that we call they like you because you know your petite they like you because

of all all this other stuff and I was like he's like you're making me good money and I'm like. I'm like you're making me good money. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm making you good money. But why are we going to Applebee's? You know, like, if I'm making you good money, why are we, you know,

why are you making me like do this then? You know, like it just, it made no sense. And I never saw a dime of any of that. I was gonna say, did he ever pay you a thing to the way? No, I never got paid for it. Not one dollar.

No, I never got, I never had any money. So you were working for a roof and some food? Yep. Not even good food. No offense to Applebee's, but it wasn't even good food. Like, I know this is not a common joke in the world. I know.

It's a way I'm dealing, this is the way I deal with trauma sometimes, is I crack a joke and I know it's not a funny matter, but I'm trying, I'm trying to push through this. I completely get it. So this night you say you're out and he, yeah, he got very angry with me. Did you ever feel physically threatened? He was never physically violent with us until the night I told him I wanted to leave.

And? The night that I told Sai that I wanted to leave, I was like, I want to get my things in leave. And I was like, I'm 17, I want to go home. And that's what he was telling me that no one ever will love me. And I was worthless, I want to get my things in leave. And I was like, I'm 17. I want to go home. And that's what he was telling me that no one ever will love me. And I was worthless, no good, and all this kind of stuff. And he was like, you know what? Go in the house and get your sh** out.

And I was like, whoa, that was easy. You know, like I was like, I felt like this big relief. So I remember walking onto the steps to go get my things. And all I had was like a book bag, a couple of pieces of jewelry, and my keys to my car that he used. And it was actually the car that my grandmother gave me. And I hear footsteps come prime and he came really fast. And I remember turning around and me and he came really fast.

And I remember turning around and he was coming after me and I remember I froze and I fell so full. And then he took me by my hair and dragged me up exactly 12 flights of step or 12 stairs. I remember because I counted them. So I would always say that I was, I'm petite in my height, but he would say that I was overweight. And so he would make me walk up and down those steps every day for exercise, because he

said that he didn't want any fat girls working for him. So he grabbed me by my hair and I remember trying to stay present and I counted each step up to 12 and then I tried to take my life that night. And I... What? He tried to end my life. How? Um, he pulled a knife on me,

pulls out a trash bag, said he was gonna cut my tongue. So I wouldn't, um, so I could never speak, or say anything about him. Um, but I remember him pulling open this big trash bag saying that he was going to stuff my body in it. And I remember staring at the door to his bedroom that I was in with him and I was screaming

and he was like, if you don't shut up, I'm going to cut your tongue out. And I remember like, this is gonna sound so stupid, some people, but to me, I will never forget it. I remember like picturing my dad coming in there in a superhero cape. And getting me out of there. And nobody came. And I, nobody came and got me and I just thought I thought like hell and

I started telling him I was like I'll do anything don't kill me And he um, so he made me give him oral sex and He was like They're gonna learn nothing with me. And I was like, I promise I'll behave, I'll be good. I'm sorry, I love you, I'll be loyal, I won't fight you anymore, just don't come me. And he was like everything kind of calmed down after a couple hours. And he was like, oh, ohmed down after a couple hours and uh

and he uh was like uh I didn't even fall asleep and he was asleep he slept and he had his arm over me and I remember like I did I couldn't sleep that well but I was trying to go to sleep and I remember the next morning I tried to move and I felt him bare down on me, and he goes, where do you think you're going? And I was like, I just need to go to the bathroom. And he goes, if you think about leaving, I'm gonna put two in the back of your head. And I was like, I'm not gonna leave. I love you.

I'm loyal. I promised you last night that I won't leave. And I said, I'm just gonna go pee, and I'll be right back. And I was like, I might smoke a cigarette. That's it. And he was like, all right. Music Wow, y'all. That's just a situation. I don't think many of us can ever imagine even being in.

And we'll hear what happened next in part two. So that concludes part one of my conversation with Jessica Lamb and part two is now available which I promise you do not want to miss. And the redemption part of this story is coming soon guys I promise I'll see you in part two. Walter Isaacson set out to write about a world-changing genius in Elon Musk and found a man addicted to chaos and conspiracy. I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social, emotional, networks. The book launched a thousand hot takes, so I sat down with Isaacson to try to get past the noise.

I like the fact that people who say, I'm not as tough on musk as I should be, or are always using anecdotes from my book to show why we should be tough on musk. Join me, Evan Ratliffe, for On Musk with Walter Isaacson. Listen on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl McCollum, host of the Colkays Podcast Zone 7. Join us every Wednesday to your cases like the Long Island Serial Killer. You show like genuine interest and you can't fake it, but these guys can see like right through to your soul.

So you have to be like prepared. If you don't know your stuff, they're going to just call you out. Listen to zone seven with Cheryl McCollum on the I Heart Radio app Apple podcast. Or wherever you get your podcast. Get ready because Aaron and Carissa from Calm Down have got something special coming up at State Farm Park in I Heartland,

a reading of Twist and Night Before Christmas. Bell and Puse it with stories and memories tying into the holiday spirit. Don't miss this special event, starting Thursday, December 7th at 7 p.m. Eastern at State Farm Park in I Heartland in Fortnite, available all weekend long. Afterwards, stick around and check out all the exciting things State Farm has to offer. Say hi to Jake from State Farm on the Big Screen and try to be Jake Skour at the park core minigame. Visit iHartRadio.com slash I Heartland to start playing today.

green and try to be Jigs Cor at the parkour minigame. Visit iHeartRadio.com slash iHeartland to start playing today.