An Army of Normal Folks - Trina Frierson: “I’m a 17-Time Felon Employing a Doctor” (Pt 1)

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

After racking up 17 felonies, Trina finally had enough and had a vision for a resource center to help other women like herself. Today, her nonprofit Mending Hearts has grown into something far beyond her wildest imagination, owning 15 homes in Nashville that provide shelter, hope, and healing to women who are homeless due to addiction and mental health disorders. Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We have not only residential treatment, we have a medical detox. Can you think about a 17-time felon hiring a medical doctor? I mean, I mean, like, who does that, right? You do, my friend. So we got nurses, nurse practitioners, RNs, case manager counselors. But let me say this, more importantly, 35% of my staff is people who have come through my program and are in recovery. Welcome to an Army of Normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. I'm a normal guy.

I'm a husband. I'm a father. I'm an entrepreneur. And I've been a football coach in inner city Memphis in the last part. It accidentally led to an Oscar for the film about our team. It's called undefeated. I believe our country's problems will never be solved by a bunch of fancy people and nice suits talking big words that nobody understands on CNN and Fox, but rather by an army of normal

folks, us, just you and me deciding, hey, I can help. That's what Trina Friarsson, the voice we just heard, has done. After racking up 17 felonies, Trina finally had enough and had a vision for a resource center to help other women like her coming back from prison. And today, her non-profit Mending Hearts has grown into something far beyond her wildest imagination. Owning 15 homes in Nashville that provide shelter, hope and healing to women who are homeless due to addiction and mental health disorders. I cannot wait for you to meet Trina right after these brief messages from our generous

sponsors. Good song. The Johnny Carson theme, right? Hey, who wrote that? Skip, who do you think? It's your buddy. Hi everyone, I'm Paul Anko. And I'm Skip Bronson. And what happens when two old friends take their decades of experience in the business and entertainment roles and sit down with our buddies? You get our way, a brand new show from My Heart Podcast where we chop it up with our pals about everything under the sun. Hear about Michael Buble's entrance into show business.

And get business insight from Mark Burnett. Find out what scares my son-in-law Jason Bateman and discover the bragging rights that come with beating Michael Jordan at golf. Together we know just about everybody, including sitting presidents. So join us as we ask the questions they've not been asked before. Tell it like it is and even sing a song or two. This is our podcast and we're going to do it our way. Listen to our way

on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. For as long as I can remember, I've been fascinated by the depths of human potential and the incredible things that humans can do. So I became a cognitive scientist studying all the ways in which we think, create, make decisions, and work toward becoming who we want to become. I'm Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. I'm a cognitive scientist and I've written 10 books and hundreds of articles on topics such as intelligence, creativity, well-being, narcissism, introversion, and education. The Psychology Podcast is a place where we investigate the different ways in which we

can unlock human potential, and where I get to interview some of the most extraordinary and fascinating people, and we have real conversations about what it means to achieve success, and what it means to be human. So join me, Scott Barry Colthmanman on the Psychology Podcast, where we investigate the deaths of human potential. Listen to the Psychology Podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. for just one hour. If you can find a way to get inside each other's mind. Walk a mile in my shoes. Walk a mile in my shoes.

Walk a mile in my shoes. We've all felt left out. And for some, that feeling lasts more than a moment. We can change that. Learn how it belonging begins with us.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council. Walk a mile in my shoes. brought to you by the Ad Council. Welcome out in my shoes.

So you grew up in Nashville. You're one of six. Your father passed away? Yeah, my father passed away at the age of six. Yeah, so didn't get much relationship there, but my oldest brother became my father figure. How much older was he than you? See, he was seven years older than I was.

I actually, at the age of 15, I was 15, he passed when he was 22. But he was the guy that came in father figure work two jobs like my mom Have take care of his other siblings. Yeah so you grew up in a predominantly black area of East Asheville and Your mom's working trying to race six dad's past 15 year old brothers are having to take father like roles.

The community is very important. 12 or 13 is when you put your tires on the first squirrely road. Yeah, you know. And we're going to go through the unraveling before we go through the redemption. So just I'm going to sit and listen to you kind of unfold 12 through baby 16 or 17. Yeah, you know, I was, you know, I think my first wanna be grown habit. Wanna be grown?

Yeah, wanna be grown. Wanna be grown habit. Yeah. You know, my mom used to make this corn cob wine. You know, I have to sit over a year before you can drink it. And man, I used to... That's shine. Pretty much.

Yeah. Your mom made shine. My mom made shine. And she'd bring it out on the holidays, right? Right at Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I think my first time of alcohol is I sipped and snuck and snipped, sipped some, and I see my brother and him do it. And so like, I'm the baby of the family, right?

Out of six. And so I seen him do it. And so I was like, I'm going to do that when nobody's looking right. Cause I think that was my first shot. But, you know, at the age of 12, I got caught smoking. Sigs or weed? Cigarettes. Okay.

And so my brother's best friend lived on the street coming from Highland Heights, junior high, and I think nobody's seen me there at work, right? No, it was his off day. He called me. I was walking down the street smoking. By the time I got home, my brother's home, my mom never whipped me, but my brother did. Really?

Oh man, he gave me a good whooping. And I'm telling you, it made me clean the whole house. Like I didn't just get a whooping. Like I got punished again. Like clean up this whole house, right? And so that was my first encounter. I want to be grown, but you know, at the age of 14, I used to meet up with my sister and brother, them in the back room of our house. My mom was already gone to work. You know, my mom used to divide lunch

money up on our TV, our TV stuff, about this high, you know, the big TV. The gold console. Floor model is what we call it, yeah. And... Zenith. Yes, that's it. That's it. In fact, they may got one of those things in this place.

You know what, you're about right. Probably got something like that around here somewhere anyway. So, and we'd get a lunch. But prior to going to school, moms already worked and fixed breakfast for us and everything. They're in this back room. It's almost like a meeting. And it's two of my brothers and now three of my brothers

and my sister, right? And so they're back here rolling their joints and, you know, smoking a weed. And I'm sitting back here on the chair and I just remember it visually. I'm on the arm of this chair and I'm just watching them. And my sister says, God bless her so, she just passed last week. But she says here and she rolls up some, but you know, back then it was the when you got this budded weed, right? At the end of the bag, there's the dust that run that and listen, she pulled it into this paper. And it was probably

more paper than marijuana, right? But I was happy to be a part of the club, man. Like, and coming from my big sister, and she was like, hey, here, and don't tell nobody. She waited till everybody left the room and gave it to me. And I thought that was a bond, you know? But that was my insane thinking back then. I really thought that was a bond for me and my sister, and like, she knew I wanted to be a part of the club.

Right. It's almost like an indoctrination. Yes. Which I know your sister didn't intend. Oh, no. But that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, and she she go off to work, we go off to school.

And so. Your mom, I'm sorry, but I did. Your mom working two jobs with six kids fighting. Oh, yeah. I mean, those salmon croquet and the rice and the whole thing. That was that was a good night. That that she worked hard to be able to put that stuff on the table Oh, definitely and she's piling up Lunch money on the TV scraping together quarters of nickels I said, I mean this woman

Hey, man, she's my hero. I love my mama Miss a daily and I think about you know, just my process with her. She died, you know, due to cancer, right? But the thing she sacrificed so that we have. Yeah. Does she ever remarry or anything? No, never.

She didn't have time for a man if she's working two job raises and six knuckleheads. She had these white shoes. They like, you remember the old nurses shoes? Yeah, white on white. Yes, white white. When I say the side of them, right where your baby toe is, had a hole in it, and maybe over at the top, when I say she took some gauze or some glue and covered

that hold up and you remember the old white shoe polish? Oh yeah. Oh man, she had that thing patched. It looked like it was a little patch but her shoes was clean and white and it might have had those whole patches in it. But I'm telling you, if you looked at her kids, none of us had holes in our shoes. None of us. She sacrificed.

I see the sacrifice. What would have done to her to know that those kids were in the back room rolling up weed? You know, back in those days, probably the younger group, she probably would have lost it. And definitely would have lost it with me because of the baby. Yeah, I was supposed to be in her golden child, right? And but, but you know, I say that I later found out like I thought I was a special kid in my mom's life,

but I later found out, man, she had a special way with all her kids. I thought, I'm telling you, I really thought I had my way with my mom. I thought I was the best child. She just made you all feel that way. Yes. You're an amazing girl. I was the price child. She just made you all feel that way. Yes. You're an amazing girl.

I was like, man. I was like, wow. But yeah, I think she would have blew a lid to no I. Right? I think she knew of my sister and other brother. You know, cause that was the thing back then. You know, like they're bringing it to a legalization right now, trying to get it across the country. But, uh, that was the little thing back then.

And it was beer and it wasn't causing problems. You know, so, so that wasn't a threat, you know, to our society. People didn't look at it. That's interesting. You say that. Yeah, it wasn't a threat. Beer and a little weed, you're saying was a thing, but that wasn't the threat. That wasn't the threat. But you found it.

Oh my God, let me tell you. So after your indoctrination. Yeah, you know, I went on and every now and then go to the park, meet up, meet my friends, you know, I had a friend that could back in those days. You could go to the store your parents can say hey I'm sitting Paula down there to get a six pack some baloney eggs and cheese Put it on my tab right and so you could go get things back then from the store, right? And so you didn't have to be 21

They put it in the grocery bag and just hand it off. You walk up the street, right? That's going to be foreign to a lot of our listeners, but let me just tell you that is not a black thing. That is not a Nashville thing. That is not an inner city thing. My wife, when she was 13, growing up east of Memphis, the grandmother, her grandmother Would call the corner store

And it was a mile and a half away because they lived out in the country and my 13 year old wife would drive her LTD Down highway 14 pull up She would get a pack of Virginia slim at thehol, ultra lights, a six pack of beer, and some sandwich meat and bread, and the store clerk gave it to her, knowing it was going back to my grandmother. And even though that's all, that's illegal. Definitely.

But I'm telling you in the South, that was just the way things worked back in those days. So when you say that, I completely get it. A lot of people listen to it and say, what, but that really is the way it works. That's how it is. You know, so I played a little bit, you know, with the marijuana and the beer. And it was just on occasions, you know, it wasn't like all the time and I go play ball and, you know, back in the community. But it was, it wasn't until I first saw cocaine.

I think it was in high school. Well, let me say there was supposed to be an heroin, but I looked at it and it just didn't look impressive to me. You know, it was on a school bus. But I think my first, uh, glanted cocaine was in college. My first glanted cocaine was in college. And now a few messages from our generous sponsors, but first I hope you'll consider becoming a premium member of the Army at normalfolks.us.

By becoming one for 10 bucks a month or $1,000 a year, you can get access to cool benefits like bonus episodes, a yearly group call and even a one-on-one call with me. Frankly guys, premium memberships also help us to grow this army that our country desperately needs right now. So I hope you'll think about it. We'll be right back. Good song.

The Johnny Carson theme, right? Hey, who wrote that? Skip, who do you think? It's your buddy. Hi everyone, I'm Paul Anko. And I'm Skip Bronson. And what happens when two old friends take their decades of experience in the business and entertainment roles and sit down with our buddies?

You get our way, a brand new show from My Heart Podcast where we chop it up with our pals about everything under the sun. Hear about Michael Bublé's entrance into show business and get business insight from Mark Burnett. Find out what scares my son-in-law, Jason Bateman, and discover the bragging rights that come with beating Michael Jordanic off.

Together, we know just about everybody, including sitting presidents. So join us as we ask the questions they've not been asked before. Tell it like it is and even sing a song or two. This is our podcast and we're going to do it our way. Listen to Our Way on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. For as long as I can remember, I've been fascinated by the depths of human potential and the incredible things that humans can do.

So I became a cognitive scientist, studying all the ways in which we think, create, make decisions, and work toward becoming who we want to become. I'm Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. I'm a cognitive scientist and I've written 10 books and hundreds of articles on topics such as intelligence, creativity, well-being, narcissism, introversion, and education. The Psychology Podcast is a place where we investigate the different ways in which we can unlock human potential. And where I get to interview some of the most extraordinary and fascinating people, and we have real conversations about what it means to achieve success, and

what it means to be human. So join me, Scott Barry Colfman, on the Psychology Podcast, where we investigate the deaths of human potential. Listen to the Psychology podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If I could be you. And you could be me. For just one hour. If you could find a way. To get inside.

Each other's mind. Walk a mile in my shoes. Walk a mile in my shoes. Walk a mile in my shoes. Walk a mile in my shoes. Walk a mile in my shoes. We've all felt left out. And for some, that feeling lasts more than a moment. We can change that. Learn how at belongingbeginswithus.org,

brought to you by the Ad Council. Walk a mile in my shoes. I left high school, right? Got a scholarship to college. Where? Ball State Community College. And so... Did you say ball or ball? Ball.

Ball State. And Gallatin Tilly. Gallatin Tilly. Andatin' tin, see. And so I went there, and my freshman year there, I come out of my apartment and they got our party going on in the house and there's a group over here and it's like, here Trini, you want something? I'm like, what is that? They said, is that powder?

It's good. So I was like, and it was just like they had allergies or something. I was like, nah, I'm good. I'm good. And so, you know, thank God I was able to pass it up because I think my basketball career would have crashed sooner, right?

And so I went on and it wasn't until, you know, I ended up hit it back at my sophomore year and I noticed that I was pregnant. And so I quit, had the baby. After having the baby, the guy, the baby's father I came home one day in the kitchen and I couldn't get in because they had the door jammed up and when I finally get in it's him and two other guys in there and I Walk in there and they got this What do you call turn turnic it turn rather arm and they got needles going in and so

Blinded by love First thing I say is I want some right and I thank God for this dude today He's dead and gone, but I thank God for him but it's due today, he's dead and gone. But I thank God for him. He was very angry. And he said, no, you don't, you don't ever want this. And I said, but you say you love me, if you can do it, I can do it.

And it was his nephew that took some powder cocaine and put it in a cigarette. And I had to smoke two or three before I got to filling it. But the only thing I felt was my lips was numb. Right. And so, but it had me thinking. See, it's one thing about addiction and behaviors and stuff like that, right? The obsession, right, is the thought process, then the compulsion of that never-ending results, you just want more and more and more, right?

And so I'm looking at, but it was cool, so, you know, I was never a drinker, and I wanted to drink a beer, you know? And so probably that second or third time, I smoke what we call back then a Jimmy, right? It's cocaine in a cigarette. Um, a Jimmy, Jimmy. So when we talking about cocaine, we're talking about crack, right?

Or we talking about cocaine, it's cocaine, powder, cocaine. Really? You put it into a back of cigarette. Yeah. Really? Yeah. it in tobacco cigarette. Yeah. Really? Yeah. So that we call it a Jimmy, right? Now, cracked cocaine is formed up and cooked. That's the difference in powder cocaine and cracked cocaine.

It's mixed with stuff and cooked, right? Crack is. Yeah. Yeah. Bacon soda. Bacon soda, right. All right. And so, but at this time, we're not talking about crack yet. Bacon soda. Bacon soda.

Right. All right. And so, but at this time, we're not talking about crack yet. We're talking about just. We're just talking about powder cocaine. But it was a family member that came over and noticed that I was doing it. And it was my niece. And she heard that I was smoking powder and cigarettes.

And she came over and said, quit wasting your money. Let me show you something. And so she comes bringing out all these utensils as if she's in a chemistry lab or something. And she got the Pyrex jars and stuff and she goes into my kitchen and she starts to cook it up. And she's showing me what she's doing. And she bring out this pipe and then she puts it on there

and she tells me how to pull, when to pull. And, uh, that was the thing that sent me out to space. Correct. Correct. That was correct. That was correct. And I tell you what, what I do remember is grabbing my daughter and taking her to my mom and And I knew my mom was sick, but I took my daughter and I remember going out and hanging out for two or

three nights and not even coming back home. And so that would go on and on for years until I caught my first charge. Which we'll get to. I am looking at an amazing woman right now, and I know the rest of the story, which we'll get to. Person today, thinking about the person that left their daughter with their cancer ridden sick mother and didn't show up for three or four days or week because of their addiction to cry.

What do you say to that person now? You can't change the past. But you can mend today. And what I mean by that is that nothing I did back then I can change. But today. I can mend those broken roads. I can mend those broken relationships. One is by not doing it, right?

Ever again, right? But also speak about it. We need to talk about it around the tables. We need to put it on the kitchen tables like this. This didn't happen in my family. This just didn't happen on my street. It's happening everywhere. You know, I regret it, but I do believe. Because of what God has done in my life. I do believe that my mama's smiling today.

I think the restoration process of what I went through and the pain that I suffered as a result of the harm I caused, right? Cause we have to take ownership. Like I can't just blame this all on addiction, right? A big part of my story is fatherlessness because my father left home when I was young. My mom was brain divorced five times and if you've any regular listener knows the story, so I won't go deeply into it. But it's one of the reasons I was able to connect so well with the kids at Manassas

because even though I don't look like them or come from where they come, I absolutely understand that part of the trauma of fatherlessness. And I developed this idea that a lot of fatherlessness in the hood particularly comes from men who when they wake up in the morning and they look at their shattered lives and the guilt they feel for all they're doing can hardly look themselves in the mirror much less their sons. That's right. How did you deal with the guilt? Because you had to have had it.

Oh, tons of it. You know, I'm telling you, part of dealing with the guilt was continuing to use, right? Self-medicating? Self-medicating. But after, you know, being incarcerated, finding other resources. Therapy was my gatekeeper. It was therapy. And I'm not talking about once a month type therapy.

I'm talking about two or three days a week therapy. I'm talking about bringing my kids in, letting them get gut level, honestly, about how they felt neglected and abandoned by my decisions and my behaviors. Can that rip your heart out? Oh, my God. Listen, so bad. Listen, in one session,

I ran out of therapy and left my daughter in there. The therapist had to call and get somebody to take her home. That's how painful it was for me. Because you couldn't face her. I couldn't. But I thank God for this therapist. No, but the point is, that speaks exactly to what I'm talking about. Yes.

You can't even face your own children because of the guilt you feel. That's right. So you're now a crack addict and you have one kid that you're dumping off with your mom and, um, then I go get pregnant again. I was about to say that's just the beginning. You just getting started, girl. Yeah, just getting started and You know, I have this baby and this baby is born with a hole in her heart and she has have

surgery heart surgery five days old and so In this process my oldest child was not born addicted, right? Thank God. Yes. But this next child is, um, and I actually come in. Your third child was born addicted. Yeah.

Second and third. Second and man. Yeah. And so the way I found out I was pregnant with my third child is because I had drug deal gone bad. I'm shot three times, twice in the leg, once in the private area. I wake up three days later in Vanderbilt Hospital. Right now I'm a Jane Doe, but they can't let nobody know who I am.

My family's calling when I get up. They's like, do you know this person? They said they're your brother. This person said they're your sister. This person said they're your cousin. I was like, well, that's my brother. That's my friend. I was like, well, we can't release anything.

We'll let you call your brother. But right now, you're still in investigation and You found out you're pregnant with your third kid because you got shot. Oh, yeah Drug deal gone bad. I got set a court set a court projects Eastern asphalt We'll be right back Good song the Johnny Carson theme right hey, who wrote that skip who do you think? It's your buddy. Hi everyone, I'm Paul Anko. And I'm Skip Bronson. And what happens when two old friends take their decades of experience in the business

and entertainment roles and sit down with our buddies? You get our way, a brand new show from My Heart Podcast where we chop it up with our pals about everything under the sun. Hear about Michael Buble's entrance into show business and get business insight from Mark Burnett. Find out what scares my son-in-law, Jason Bateman, and discover the bragging rights that come with beating Michael Jordanic off. Together, we know just about everybody, including sitting presidents. So join us as we ask the questions they've not been asked before, tell it like it is, and even sing a song or two.

This is our podcast, and we're going to do it our way. Listen to Our Way on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. For as long as I can remember, I've been fascinated by the depths of human potential and the incredible things that humans can do. So I became a cognitive scientist, studying all the ways in which we think, create, make decisions, and work toward becoming who we want to become. I'm Scott Barry Kaufman, host of The Psychology Podcast. I'm a cognitive scientist, and I've written 10 books and hundreds of articles on topics such as intelligence,

creativity, wellbeing, narcissism, introversion, and education. The Psychology Podcast is a place where we investigate the different ways in which we can unlock human potential. And where I get to interview some of the most extraordinary and fascinating people, and we have real conversations about what it means to achieve success, and what it means to be human.

So join me, Scott Barry Colthman, on the Psychology Podcast, where we investigate the deaths of human potential. Listen to the Psychology Podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Susie Esmond and I am Jeff Garland. Yes, you are and we are the hosts of the history of Kerber your enthusiasm

podcast. We're going to watch every single episode. It's a hundred and twenty two including the pilot and we're going to break them down by the, most of these episodes I have not seen for 20 years. Yeah, me too. We're gonna have guest stars and people that are very important to the show, like Larry David. I did once try and stop a woman who was about to get hit

by a car, I screamed out, watch out! And she said, don't you tell me what to do! And Cheryl Hines. Why can't you just lighten up and have a good time? And Richard Lewis. How am I gonna tell him I'm going to leave now? Can you do it on the phone? Do you have to do it in person?

What's the deal? Not just on cable. You have to go in and see human beings. He's helped you. And then we're going to have behind the scenes information. Tidbits. Yes, tidbits is a great word. Anyway, we're both a wealth of knowledge about this show

because we've been doing it for 23 years. So subscribe now and you could listen to the history of Kerber enthusiasm on iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you happen to get your podcasts. There are people listening to us that understand this life. The vast majority don't. The vast majority of people just don't understand the life. And unfortunately, I think our illustration of that life largely comes from movies and TV shows.

And we think we understand it because we've dedicated two hours of our lives to watching a movie that sensationalizes the drug culture in our urban inner cities. Well, News Flash, that's a movie. sensationalizes the drug culture in our urban inner cities. Well, News Flash, that's a movie. You don't bathe. You drop your kids off at anybody's place to get away from them, because really, they're in the way of your drug habit. You're hustling. You're probably dealing with many women are prostituting.

You're around lots of guns and crime. Would you paint a picture of six months of that life for us? Just a six-month period of your life for us. Just a six month period of your life. And I don't, I really think it's important for people to understand the raw truth, but when you don't bathe because you're on the street for a week at a time, especially as a female and you don't even take care of basic hygiene, just paint a picture of this lack of humanity that exists in this world. And it's not even debating. So, when I talked about that obsession and that compulsion, you know, you're just chasing it one more, right? And I don't know more yet. That one more yet. I don't care if you listen, I realize I was selling

drugs, right? Not to get rich, not to be the big drug dealer, right? But it was to supply my own habit. So I wouldn't have to prostitute, right? But guess what? I didn't have to prostitute, right? But guess what? I didn't have time to take the baths, right? I didn't have time to eat. When I went to jail, I was probably 180, 190. I came out of jail weighing 415, right?

But you neglect not only, listen, I would probably three, four days later when I was in my right mind, right? But when I'm zoned out, I may be done passed out for three or four days. I get up, take another two or three days before I take a bath before I eat right are you are you stealing for the habit if you have to oh no so so so I stole all the life the life steals for the habit listen and not only from let me tell you something. I remember stealing from my mom right Woman who wore holy shoes and bought money on the Zena so you had food? Yes, and you're gonna steal from her

Yeah, and here's the thing. It was my money. So in our addictive Mindsets we tell ourselves. I'm only gonna do this much today. I'm not I'm only gonna smoke this much So hey mom will you put these $300 up for me? And so mom keeps the money well mom going to the bathroom when they dropped a purse, right? Usually any other time I say hey mom you dropped this but it was at one time man. I went in there and Took a hundred bucks out of her purse. Hello. It was a little corn purse where she kept her money in and it was about a toilet.

And I laid it back by the toilet. And so she asked me, did you see my corn purse in there? Did you get some money out of it? And I said, no, ma'am. She said, okay, it took me about a week. I had never lied to my mama like that, right? Took about a week and some mama did it.

So why'd you lie to me? That stuff making you lie? I said, yeah, mama. She said, You need to find you some help, girl. But not only does it not make you let your babe eat, it makes you lie. It makes you steal. Like from that very thing you say you love, it does not discriminate. It has no respect for mankind. It turns you into an animal.

Oh, more than animal. Listen, you are. I tell you what, have you ever seen the black birds? What do they call black birds? You know, the big black ones, are they vultures? Yeah, okay. Yeah, I mean you mean picking at a dead body on the side of the street Dead possum or so. Yes. Yeah, I think they're vultures or but buzzers or some buzzers. Yeah, I mean like just Listen, you don't stand a chance man when the mind

Set is gone and it's chasing that one more. Any means necessary to get that one hit. Don't you sober up at some point, look at yourself and say, damn? Oh, for an inkling of a moment. And then you're back. You're back. Like, now there's there's hope right But nine times out of ten and there are people who's been capable of

Relinquishing relationship with crack on their own right But nine times out of ten You need not only moral support, like you really need to go and detox from that thing and get it at your system. And you gotta start changing your surroundings, your behaviors, your people, your conversations, your phone numbers.

Like you gotta do a drastic change. Yeah, I've heard it described as the grip. That is just grips you and don't turn a loose. I'm, and it's not, and it's not to say that I'm weak. It's to say that crack cocaine is more powerful than I am. So three babies, a crack addiction, you've probably been in jail a few times. Yes.

You know, I was, I thought about getting a jersey. A what? A jersey. What was it going to be? Uh, it was going to, the number was going to be 17 on the jersey. And the name on the back was going to be felon. You caught 17 felonies. Actually it was more than that, but you know, because some of it stuff they do to you is

double jeopardy. And so you get a good judge that'll say, hey, we're just going to combine all this over in the one. And you know, so that gave me a couple of breaks. Yeah. All right. And at some point in prison, do you start doing a mentoring program or something? Yeah, you know, I can't even be candy to you.

I got orchestrated that thing. But, you know, there was a treatment program called chances. And technically, I didn't have family support right when I went to jail. So I'm on the indigent list. Can you imagine this person out there? You got all these drug charges, right? I get caught in my last bus like seven, eight houses of drugs, monies, cars, everything, but I go to jail and I'm indigent.

Like I don't have the family and friends and the showcase of lifestyle to support me, so I'm in there, I'm indigent. Like I don't have the family and friends in the showcase of lifestyle to support me. So I'm in there, I'm indigent. And the same behaviors I had on the street, follow me in jail. So I got friends in there and people that I don't work, release access, access to street things. And so I started selling cigarettes. And that was my resource.

So I got bins of, you pull out beside your bed, you got the little storage bins. I've got your storage bin, their storage bin. We're just working storage bins, right? We got our own commissary going on in the pod. And so that was survival. You know, I got people bringing me in, you know, T-shirts and things like that. And so that was all cool.

And it looked great because it matched some of the lifestyle that I had out there. But I thank God for this lady today, Allie Marlowe, man. She was a counselor in there. And in this side of the pod, you had what they call a population, right? And over in this side of the pod, you had treatment people, residential treatment, and a program. And so the population side was just like the streets, just behind bars. Yes. But the treatment side were people that were actually saying, I don't want to be part of the population. I really do want to try to get better.

Yes, yes, exactly. And so I'm over here in population, they over at treatment and I'm over there calling them treatment hoes and man, y'all brainwashed. Why is y'all like, y'all gonna get out and do the same thing and this lady treatment hose that's what I said no I hear you but that's gotta be you didn't make that up that's gotta be a thing yeah that's almost like uncle Tom or something else it's It's derogatory as crap. It is. And I am so embarrassed to even think that I said that. No, I'm not doing that.

I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no. What all I'm saying is trying to get an accurate mental illustration and picture of this society that exists inside jail. And I'm telling them, I'm calling them out of their name, right? And I'm telling them to just be in brainwash. You're gonna go back like I'm not providing any hope Right and regardless training if you don't want to do it. Why do you have to be a little to people who do? And so but my mind said you got a repress misery loves company. That's right

And so and and guess what? I'm jealous that you over at Trine and I ain't got the courage to try. And so, this lady steps to me and say, you know, it's one thing that you're afraid to change and get help, but don't affect the people who want to. I said, I ain't scared to get no help, right? I still got street mentality. I'm talking to the lady counselor. She said, I tell you what, now, if anybody know anything about incarceration, no matter

where you at, if you ever get a bottom bunk, it's like having a California King bed. You golden, right? And that woman said, if you try treatment for 30 days and you survive without giving up walking out, I promise to give you a bottom bunk for the rest of your time. I said, I'm not gonna stand that fast. She said, no, for the rest of your time, you gotta serve. I'm gonna award you a bottom bunk. I said, hmm.

Now when I talked to a friend, she said, Trani, y'all to try it, not for the bottom bunk, because you wanna get better, you need to get better. I said, I want that bottom bunk. Right? And so, you know, I pondered on it for a minute, she said, but you're gonna have to leave all that behavior and them cigarettes and the relationships

and all that on the other side. I was like, hmm, so I pondered on it. She come around. I like this woman today, man. She come around about a part and people build their group and all the time. She said, what's up chicken? She read it.

And so one day I said, I'm coming. I'm a come Monday. She said, all right, well, I'm coming. I'm coming Monday. She said, all right, well, I'm going to move you. I'm making the move. And so it was like a Thursday. And somebody came and said, hey, Trina, it was Friday. I said, hey, you know, you're on the move this weekend. I said, move.

Well, she said, they're moving you over there. I said, I told that woman Monday. She said, so when the people, one of the interns in the group said, I said, man, tell me a small, I told her Monday. I said, a move is a move and she's ready to move you. You have to come when the move come. I said, man, I said, this is a setup, man.

I was like, she just set me up for real. And so I ended up moving. I mean, group, we're talking and people are really getting honest, right? Well, to the best of their ability, right? And I got upset one time and I was like, man, y'all just talking about the surface stuff. Like for real, for real, if we're going to get up out of here and not come back,

man, we got to do something different. And so I went to a couple of groups, but I'm telling you, it was a struggle at first because you got to get up at like five o'clock in the morning, right? Your bed got to be made. And I wasn't used to making my bed. Like they were helping me. Like they wanted me to make it. These women, they was like, come on Trim, you go get your shower.

I'm gonna help you make your bed. And like they were really supporting me. Counselor got a hold of her. She said, you don't make her a bed. You don't help her. She needs to do this for herself. I was like, they get to help them. They say, yeah, but remember you were over calling them treatment hoes. Let's see what a treatment

hoe look like, man. And I was like, oh my God. And that concludes part one of my conversation with Trina Friarson. And you do not want to miss part two that's now available. Listen to it. As we dive deeper into her own recovery and how that has led to the recovery of countless others. Together guys, we can change the country. It starts with you. I'll see you in part two. Hi, I'm Laura VanderKam. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist, and speaker. And I'm Sarah Hart Unger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer, and course creator. We are two working parents who love our careers and our families.

On the Best of Both Worlds podcast each week, we share stories of how real women manage work, family, and time for fun. From figuring out childcare to mapping out long-term career goals, we want you to get the most out of life. Listen to Best of Both Worlds every Tuesday on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 47 years ago, on a warm summer's night in Melbourne, Susan Bartlett and Suzanne Armstrong were stabbed to death in their home in Easy Street, Collingwood. Suzanne's 16-month-old son was asleep in his car at the time. The double homicide left the community shocked, no one has ever been charged, and critical

questions remain unanswered. Listen to Casefar presents the Easy Street Murders on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. History is beautiful, brutal, and often ridiculous. Join me, Ben Bullen. And me, Noel Brown. As we dive into some of the strangest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History.

Join us to hear the many ways history can be oh so ridiculous. Listen to Ridiculous History on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you find your favorite shows.