An Army of Normal Folks - Trina Frierson: “I’m a 17-Time Felon Employing a Doctor” (Pt 2)

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

After racking up 17 felonies, Trina finally had enough and had a vision for a resource center to help other women like herself. Today, her nonprofit Mending Hearts has grown into something far beyond her wildest imagination, owning 15 homes in Nashville that provide shelter, hope, and healing to women who are homeless due to addiction and mental health disorders. Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, it's Bill Courtney with an Army of Normal folks and we continue now with part two of our conversation with Trina Friarson right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. Good song. The Johnny Carson theme, right? Hey, who wrote that? Skip, who do you think? It's your buddy. Hi, everyone. I'm Paul Anko. And I'm Skip Bronson. And what happens when two old friends take their decades of experience in the business

and entertainment roles and sit down with our buddies? You get our way, a brand new show from My Heart Podcast where we chop it up with our pals about everything under the sun. Hear about Michael Buble's entrance into show business and get business insight from Mark Burnett. Find out what scares my son-in-law Jason Bateman and discover the bragging rights that come with beating Michael Jordan at golf. Together we know just about everybody, including sitting presidents. So join us as we ask the questions they've not been asked before. Tell it like it is and even sing a song or two.

This is our podcast and we're going to do it our way. Listen to Our Way on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. or wherever you get your podcast. MUSIC Hey, everything okay? Yes, I'm fine. Honey, hey, I'm here for you. Tell me about school today. When kids can't find the right words,

music can help them sound it out. Talk to the kids in your life about their emotional well-being. Find tools and resources at SoundItOutTogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal Ventures. At one of the most famous restaurants in the world, there's a table in the corner where the most incredible conversations on the planet are happening every week with owner Ruthie Rogers, an amazing guest. Like Martha Stewart.

But I did have an affair with one of his best friends. Jimmy Fallon. Do you want a zip line over your dad while he gets attacked by alligators? And Paul McCartney. John and I hitchhiked to Paris. We've saved you a seat. Ruthie's Table 4.

Listen to Ruthie's Table 4 on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. So we're in group one day and the intern got sick or something and we need to continue on with group. And they were just in there piddling and I was like, listen, man, we got to do the group. And so I just picked up group and started, like, let's, let's just talk about relapse. Let's just talk about this.

And so that led into something else. Uh, I started this three Rs relapse prevention program. And so the council liked it and she said, hey, we're gonna add that to the curriculum. And so I started doing that. Then she started bringing in the judges and DA's and stuff into the jail to see our program because we we, it was the inmates, right? But we were leading our own groups now. And so then they got a hold of it. And then they said, hey, we got this thing we're trying to do.

Who wants to see if you'll come and speak to a group of kids. And I was like, what is it? It was like, well, it's the don't follow me program. I was like, what is it? It was like, well it's the Don't Follow Me program. I was like, hmm, okay. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna talk to them. So I'm thinking in my mind that I'm gonna get out and like I get to, you know, I know they're gonna be around me,

but like I ain't got to be handcuffed. Man, they handcuffed me, took me to the boys and girls club and I had to speak to those people in handcuffs. Sounds kind of like a scared straight thing. They need to see you locked up to understand what that really looks like. Yeah, yeah.

So I got the picture at home. So you like in an orange jumpsuit with handcuffs on? Great, great, great jumpsuit, handcuffs. You know, the old brown jacket that you used to hunt in or go out in the cold in, you know, Great, great, great jumpsuit handcuffs, you know, the old brown jacket that you used to hunt in or go out in the cold in, you know, they got them as prison jackets now. Yeah, the whole nine yards, yeah, it's crazy. And you're addressing kids.

Oh yeah, yeah, talking to them. And really speaking to them about, you know, how I got to where I am today, how I neglected my kids, and I don't get to send my kids to the boys and girls right now. Somebody else having to do that for me because of my abandon, neglect due to my addiction. So being able to talk about that process of coming up and really you know, really, I got to express some of the stuff I recall is like missing the opportunities to continue the relationship with my mother to be able to tell her everything, you know.

There comes a point when you start sneaking and hiding in line, you break that communication, becomes a communication barrier, you know, with your mama, with that loved one that you entrusted so much with. And so got to talk a lot about that, you know. I can love you unconditionally and still not believe a word that comes out your mouth. Yeah. Oh, definitely. Yeah. And so one of the things I know for me though, is that my mom, listen, I knew when she stopped believing world was coming out of my mouth.

You're seeing her eyes probably, her body language. Yes, yes. Who better knows you than your own mama, right? Oh man, I knew when it, listen, but I tell you what, when I went to jail, man, that first time I just felt like I'd lost my mama. She wouldn't even did, but I just felt like I lost her, right? So you eventually get out after this chances program. Yeah.

And you rehab now, right? Yeah, yeah. Now that workout. Oh man, let me tell I get out, you know, they say just follow the tools, do what you need to do. I did. I went looking for a job, didn't use. I went to this camp looking for this job. Don't call us, we'll call you right. Cause you know, I got felons. And so this last time, this white guy said to me, he said, listen, I don't know who gonna hire you with all them felons.

I'm just gonna be honest with you. I wouldn't. That shattered me. I got all, got back on the bus. And all that was playing through my mind is I ain't got my kids back or nothing. Right. In fact, I don't lost all parental rights. So really, I ain't getting them back because I lost all parental custody. And so I'm in here and I get in this bus.

And after I get off the bus, there's my homeboy standing on the corner. He said, what's up, Trina? Nothing, man, just got to looking for a job. But sure, there ain't nobody for now. Me, the man just said it. He's like, I don't know who are you with all them fellows. I said, so I think I got to get back.

I didn't do what I do. He said here. you with all them fellows. I said, so I think I got to get back. I didn't do what I do. He said here, I said, man, I ain't got no money. So you ain't got to have no money. I got you. Just get on your feet. So he and me and house cocaine and I went to work. I didn't last two months out there on the streets. All right. Let's talk about this. There are the recidivism rate in the United States is 85%. 87%, I think. Somewhere in that world. At least in the male population of people that come out of jail, 85, 87% of them return

to jail. And you had the chances program. You were teaching the chances program. You were speaking to kids at the Boys and Girls Club. The prison system would not have put you in front of boys and girls if they didn't believe the words coming out of your mouth and see Legitimate real work that you were doing on yourself in prison to try to quote rehabilitate. Yes But then the real world hits and you're clean for two months. You're trying

But you leave prison with this feeling of. I paid my dues. I've done the right things. Let me get out here and try to do it right. But then everywhere you step, the door is slowing to your face. Right. Because a felon can't rent an apartment. Ando landlord giving an apartment to a felon.

A felon has a hard time getting any kind of job. They're treated like second class citizens. You still got all this in your background, so you don't even have rights to your children, which makes you feel like hell probably. Oh, definitely. And so when people say, well, why do people go right back to the life? It's not like most of them get out that day on Tuesday and on Wednesday, they're back in the life. It's the world hits them right in the mouth. Yeah. And there's and they lose hope.

Exactly. And now you're starving, you got nowhere to live, you've got nowhere to do it. What else you're going to do? And so your homeboy handles you an ounce of coke and you back in the hustle. Just like that. Just like it. And I get caught, just like it. And I get, go back to jail just like that. And with our criminal justice system, you keep piling those on, eventually you're gonna get some real time. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You keep piling those on, eventually you're gonna get some real time. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And this last charge, man, listen, they offered me 30 years. I've been blessed.

I'm not confused. I have been blessed. You also do not play the victim card, which I have an enormous amount of respect for. You take ownership and everything you've done. Oh yeah, man. It's not pretty. you've done. Oh yeah man, it's not pretty. But the fact remains that our prison system population in the last 30 years has grown 1800% in the last 30 years. Yes. And most can point to crack urban areas, the disintegration of the community. And once again, I genuinely believe a well-intentioned justice system originally trying to get on top of this epidemic and

stiffening prison sentences, thinking that that was going to be an deterrent. And what it ends up being is just a way to lock up more poor folks that are on drugs. And take away all hope. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I want to give a shout out to, you know, I think God where CCA and... What is that? It's, uh, it was, it's now called Corsivic, right? And so it's over a lot of the tension centers. It's part of our justice system. Yes.

Yes. I want to thank them for putting in the resource, uh, for rehabilitation for residential treatment. Right. Am I sitting here looking at an African American woman from the inner city, thanking God for parts of our justice system? Because that's an odd thing. Oh, very. Listen, you are, you are.

Why don't you talk about that a little because that's interesting. That kind of blows me away a little. I want to thank God for the officer who arrested me. And I thank him because taking me to jail. Protected my life. It actually saved my life, right? I think me being arrested put me into a protective system

so that I couldn't go out there and keep harming myself, right? Neglecting my kids. But the justice system had a program called chances that turned my vision and my views of life around. So even though it didn't take the first time, you at least got a glimpse. Oh my God. The first time worked, right? It was society.

Well, that's interesting. You're saying the justice system worked. It was society afterwards that didn't have a place for it. It's right. It's right. We'll be right back. Good song. The Johnny Carson theme, right?

Hey, who wrote that? Skip, who do you think? It's your buddy. Hi everyone, I'm Paul Enko. And I'm Skip Bronson. And what happens when two old friends take their decades of experience in the business and entertainment roles and sit down with our buddies. You get our way, a brand new show from My Heart Podcast where we chop it up with our pals about everything under the sun.

Hear about Michael Buble's entrance into show business and get business insight from Mark Burnett. Find out what scares my son-in-law Jason Bateman and discover the bragging rights that come with beating Michael Jordanic off. Together we know just about everybody, including sitting presidents. So join us as we ask the questions they've not been asked before, tell it like it is, and even sing a song or two. This is our podcast and we're going to do it our way. Listen to our way on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, everything okay? Yes, I'm fine. Honey.

Hey, I'm here for you. Tell me about school today. When kids can't find the right words, music can help them sound it out. Talk to the kids in your life about their emotional well-being. Find tools and resources at SoundItOutTogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal Ventures. At one of the most famous restaurants in the world, there's a table in the corner.

We're the most incredible conversations on a planet are happening every week with owner Ruthie Rogers, an amazing guest. Like Martha Stewart. Well, he did have an affair with one of his best friends. Jimmy Fallon. Do you want a zip line over your dad while he gets attacked by alligators?

And Paul McCartney. John and I hitchhiked to Paris We've saved you a seat Ruthies table for listen to Ruthies table four on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcast So you catch your what you call your last charge which you're looking 30 years how old were you? What was I? 30 right at 29 30 I think well, I mean you're looking 30 years that's 60 you're looking basically 30 years as close to a life sentence Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and so what are you charged with?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so what are you charged with? There's about I can't remember how many weapons, but I fell asleep in a room like in a bed room and there was a couch land over there. That's probably 1112 weapons over there that you know somebody robbed up pawn shop or something and and so they still had tags and stuff on them I purchased them And they were in my room. You bought them? Yeah. Well, you're gonna resell them? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I got it. And so one of the things, but I had a couple of them, I was going to keep myself, but what happened was one of the guns had a body on it. I mean, it had been used in a murder. Yes. It had been used in a murder. And so...

Hold it. So what are they? Forensics proves that? Is that...? I guess. Yeah. I got it. All right.

So one of the guns that was stolen from the pawn shop that you bought stolen goods from was used in the murder of another human being and now you own the gun. Yeah. And so they want to put the charge on me. You know, but my mom didn't graduate high school. She only had an eighth grade level, right? And so one of the things she told me in life is that if you don't ever understand a document, you always read the italic print or the stuff in the box. Right? Lord have mercy, I wish your mom would have told me that before I went into business.

I could have saved a lot of problems in the past, but anyway, she's right. Look at the fine print, the italics in the boxes. The times are good at putting that stuff on paper. And so, man, when I win, it's hilarious. It's also very true. Yes. For an eighth grade education. Yes.

Whip smart. And so, when I go to look at these charges, man, it looked like murder, right? And I was like, no, and I had a public defender. I was like, listen, I'm not taking that. And so, you go to jail, you come back, and go to jail and come back, and they're trying to make all these plea deals. And then when I come back, they knock it down to 15.

I was like, listen, I'm gonna take the drug charges. I promise I'm gonna take all of that, but I'm not gonna take that murder charge. I did not kill anybody. And I don't wanna be looking into somebody's family's eyes thinking that I murdered their family member when I know I don't want to be looking into somebody's family's eyes thinking that I murdered their family member when I know I didn't. So you can give me all the drug charges

but you gotta take the murder off. And so, you know, I'm back and forth to court. This last time he said, hey, look, they got you a good deal. They got it down to eight years at 30%. I said, not with that murder charge. And he goes to look at the paper and he was like, hold on, let me go check something.

So he goes back, come back, he said, hey, sign it. So I was like, no, man. So I go look at, he said, it's not on there. He said, it's gone. I was like, I'm saying, I looked on that check. Well, mama told me to check. And it wasn't that. I said, run it. Right?

So I ended up with a eight at 30, right? I don't know what that is. Eight years at 30%. Two and a half years. Yeah. And so because I had been there a year already waiting, right? A year and a half.

Man. He said, I just knew they were gonna let me out. He said, I order you back to, no, I order you the chances treatment pervert. I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He said a year. I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah, I already been here, you know what I mean? He said, you have. I said, yes. I know, wait a minute. He said, you have. I said, yes. I said, I talked chances. I said, I was an intern. I said, you can call him and ask him. He looked at me and said, you talk chances. I see how I created the relapse prevention program.

He said, you create. I said, you can ask someone's, your colleagues, the judges. I said, I promise you. He said, so create, I said, you can ask some of your colleagues, the judges. I said, I promise you. He said, so you talk chances. He said, well, well, I'll order you the chances relapse prevention. And I don't want you to teach the class. I want you to do the class. I don't know who the judge is, but I love this person.

I came out of kicking and screaming and got back to the council. Mad too, weren't you? Yes. I was in the saliport. Saliport is like a little room before you go into the population room, so you got to get security, let you in this door and sit in the hallway and then they let you in another door. And so she said, I get back and she said,

now you come here with that attitude, listen, just cause the judge ordered you to be in the program. I ain't gotta keep you in the program. Now you know what to do, come on, let's do this time. And we're gonna do it in treatment and we're gonna figure out what happened and see how we can avoid that on the next trip. And so, you know, I think God for this council, though,

because he went an extra step. You know, she went. They called her about. The state coming and picking up my kids. And, uh, man, she did something that could have jeopardized her life, man. Um, she went and got my kids and, uh, try to put them with other family members so that the state couldn't get them, right? And they eventually went in, um, but she took my son, uh, to a place called

a Dullum house in Alabama. Uh, it's for kids of incarcerated moms, right? And so the hope was is that I'd be able to get him back without going through legal paperwork and all that, but eventually I had to go through it anyway, you know? So while all this is going on I Got I mean I now this is all supposition Alex did not prepare me for any of this so but as I'm hearing your story The men you had these children with were probably this in the same life that you were in

men you had these children with were probably in the same life that you were in. Oh, definitely. So even though you don't have your children, if an, I guess what I'm asking is, what is environment your kids are growing up in while you're out here living this life, they got to be right up against it too, seeing it, living it just with other people, right? At some point, yes. And I thank God for their aunt. I thank God for the counselor. So you had a few people that were watching after them

that weren't in the life. Yes, yes. Their aunt, the two girls aunt, which was the father's sister, uh, got the two girls. But the other one, you know, my oldest daughter ended up in tele-home in the girls' home, right? Uh, because she was acting out, right? She's missing her mom, right?

She's running around the streets trying to figure out where her mom's at. Uh, she's fighting her way through school because people call her a mama crackie like like she's she's going through Yeah It's got it's just gotta hurt you It rips me apart Like like and I think how do you get better? Even in chances and everything else when you've got this deep Regret and shame and sorrow

That you really no matter how well you do in prison you can't fix that's got to be just tearing you up That's got to be tearing women up in jail right now all day every day. Oh yes, but you gotta know that I think help is available. And I think, again, I go back to therapy. Therapy is my right of die partner. Therapy is, I was able to get therapy, I was able to bring the kids into therapy. I was able to get therapy. I was able to bring the kids into therapy. I was able to settle down and Like just really at one point I had to sit on my hands to hear my daughter's truths and About you about me and how it made her feel and so the therapist said if you you're ever going to get better, Trina,

she needs to share her truths and she needs you to hear and value her truths. She, her pain needs to be validated. Yes. Yes. God, that's got to be hard. Oh, it was, I'm telling you. And so you think about it not not not one child I got three to do this with And it ain't a group session. Oh, no, you got a guy It's in one ride of the roller coaster as three different, but you know what it what it what it taught me Is after God blessed me to be able to recondite those relationships, you know, I promised to them

that nobody ever had to tell them my story, that I would always be an open book for them. You know, I can remember one time my son came home and said, Look for them. You know, I can remember one time my son came home and said, uh, Mama, uh, Mr. Such-and-Such said you did such and such at such and such. I'm just you do that. I said, listen, man, you know, I smoke some of that stuff back then. And my mind wasn't quite right. I don't remember.

So let's just say I did. I said, we're gonna say I did it because I don't remember. So let's just say I did. I said we're gonna say I did it, because I don't remember. Good song. The Johnny Carson theme, right? Hey, who wrote that? Skip, who do you think it's your buddy? Hi everyone, I'm Paul Anko and I'm Skip Bronson. And what happens when two old friends take their decades of experience in the business and entertainment roles and sit down with our buddies? You get

our way, a brand new show from My Heart Podcast where we chop it up with our pals about everything under the sun. Hear about Michael Buble's entrance into show business. And get business insight from Mark Burnett. Find out what scares my son-in-law, Jason Bateman. And discover the bragging rights that come with beating Michael Jordan at golf. Together, we know just about everybody, including sitting presidents. So join us as we ask the questions they've not been asked before. Tell it like it is and even sing a song or two.

This is our podcast and we're gonna do it our way. Listen to our way on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, everything okay? Yes, I'm fine. Honey. Hey, I'm here for you. Tell me about school today.

When kids can't find the right words, music can help them sound it out. Talk to the kids in your life about their emotional well-being. Find tools and resources at SoundItOutTogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal Ventures. At one of the most famous restaurants in the world, there's a table in the corner. We're the most incredible conversations on the planet are happening every week

with owner Ruthie Rogers and amazing guests like Martha Stewart. But he did have an affair with one of his best friends, Jimmy Fallon. Do you want a zip line over your dad while he gets attacked by alligators? And Paul McCartney. John and I hitchhiked to Paris. We've saved you a seat. Ruthie's Table Four.

Listen to Ruthie's Table Four on the iHeartio app or wherever you get your podcasts. All right. So you get, you get back into chances, you go through chances and you get out and now you really are not going to get back in the life. And it begins, I mean, I'm not not you're going to have to tell me, but I'll set it up for you. And then I'm going to let you roll with it. It it begins with. You spent your whole life hustling. So now let's hustle something other than drugs. And so you're going to have to piece this together for us.

But I know you're cleaning houses, then you're buying houses, then people are in jail or getting out and reaching out to you because they are experiencing your first time out of jail where ain't nobody gonna hire them and they got nowhere to go. And you start coming up with a way to go and through house cleaning and house, and then somehow this becomes Mending Hearts,

and I don't know. Give me the 10 minute story on you finally out, and you finally find a place to do it right, but you're using the same hustle as a drug dealer, but you're just using it positive. Oh my God, a person told just using a positive. Oh my god. Hey a Person told me a counselor told me, you know Right now you're working off the insubstantial funds, but if you take the same energy

that you had when you were using and Transfer it over into a positive account You don't ever have to use again. You'll never have to look back. And so when I got out this time, the difference for me this time was is that I didn't get out with my white knitted bag and walked to the bus stop and somebody picked me up. Or I called John Blown and say, hey, come and get me.

This time somebody picked me up and rolled up one. And it was a late in event. And she took me to a transitional home where there were other women just like me. Those women greeted me, embraced me, listen, hey, you gotta go find a job doing this shift. Here's my bus pass. I don't have to work today.

The other one said, I'm off on Fridays. I can take you to look for a job We have to be at means at this time and they man they loved on me, right? And so I couldn't get food stamps because I got these 17 families They showed me which food banks to go to if you go to this one on Wednesday You get a hot meal too. Oh, you can't get food stamps if you fat felonies Oh, no back in the day you couldn't And I was grateful to be able to work throughout advocating some of that early on in my recovery. But now, if you're in a transitional program, yeah, you can. That makes more sense. But go ahead. Keep going.

And so I get to this place where now I'm in this program, I'm in a halfway house, right? And so I got people calling from jail saying, Trina, you're really clean. Like if you can do it, I know I can do it, right? I love that. And then I got the counselors calling and said, hey, we got a program here, wanna know where you come back and speak,

tell them how your life is going. And so I'm doing that. And then now I'm getting calls. I'm got people right me Train when I get out will you show me how to do this this and this and I literally remember taking an 8 1o See the paper ribbon it in half right now when you get out go to project read Return to get your ID go to this church right here They got coats and shoes and some clothes. Go here to get your food. You can get a free bus pass for a week right here.

And so just writing it down, mailing it back into them. If they call them for telling them. And then I did came to mind. Trina. You need to start a resource center. Because women get in that jail need a resource. And my idea was is that you're gonna or woman gonna come into this building she's gonna get She gonna take a p-test she gonna take a

Assessment we're gonna have a housing clothes food Bus pass you got it right here. You might even get to see your probation officer food, bus pass, you got it right here. You might even get to see your probation officer. Instead of having to go all over the city, having to run spot. Yes. And so I was writing this stuff, didn't know what I was doing.

Because I was a little pick on the computer, ain't got no computer experience. I'm a pick, you know, just learned how to turn a computer on, you know? And so one of the things happening is I'm over here and I'm thinking about this and I'm writing it on paper and I show a friend of mine, Mike B, and I said, Mike, look, I'm thinking about starting this program. It's a resource center for women.

And he read it. He said, man, you need to go back and read this. All you missing is a house. I said, no, I'm not finished with it. I got some more stuff to do, but I want women to be able to come and stop right here and get what they need before they go on their journey so that they can have a hand up.

And he said, trying to go back and read it. Only thing you missing is a house. Well, now I'm in the process. I got a house. Because listen, God didn't give me all my children back without my permission, right? Like, prayers answered, but they're on his terms. Yeah, yeah, like I ain't signed no paper to say,

I'm advocating to get my children back, like really, I'm afraid because I've neglected and abandoned them, right? I don't know if I'm worried to be in the mother But I got the child over here They subpoenaed me to court and I go over here and for you know, I wanted this child back to her mother boom boom So now I got all these children back got a house But now we don't know what are you doing? What are you doing for a living to make money? I'm working at a print shop.

I'm working cleaning, right? So I got the print shop and the cleaning, but prior to that, when I was at the halfway house, I lied to get a job and told him I had a reading problem. And I was selling this chemical that you know, people call you say, Hey, we got this coming to get come get ink blood oil off concrete You know all that stuff the disabled people right well I lied and told them I had a problem and they let me work right well I happened to steal some in a coke bottle one day because somebody gave me some donate me some good Nike shoes

When I say good you couldn't even tell they were used. They look new. And I took pride in those shoes. In fact, I got some more of them, so I'm gonna take me a little less chemical and get it off. Well, I did, then I got home to chemical, didn't work. And so...

So now you know you're selling a Fodger Pro. Not only am I selling a Fodger Pro, You're glad to get the job. You're glad to get the job. You're glad to get the job, Trina. You're still calling them baffling and cheating. What are you going to do different? I quit the job the next day. And now I'm over here in the factory.

I'm on a, what are they called, temp service. So I got this job going on and I stayed with the job long enough to become permanent. Now I'm starting the cleaning service because now I got these children. And I need it. I ain't just taking care of me no more. I got these children. So are you saying you're a mom without dads around with children working two jobs? Oh, yes.

I got that from my mama. I was about to say, isn't that interesting? Got it from my mama. Yes. And so my maid at that time, she was helpful. But listen, we're working two jobs to both of us. We got a brand new house. We done bought back in 98.

That house cost us $98,000, right? But it's three bedroom, two bath, and we think we hot cotton, babe. We living good now But we got to work because we got three kids and so in doing all that we realized we stayed there to write it 2002 and I decided hey, we got to move out of here. We need a bigger space So as I get ready to move out of there, my maid at that time said, hey, don't sell this house.

This is what you need to use the ministry for the women. We need to make it so that when they come through these doors that they don't have to worry about putting rent and they can get on their feet. And I was like, I looked at a kind of craze. I'm just being realistic, right? I was like, man, I just started making legal money and now you want me to give it away. Like, I just started getting my coins again and now you want me to give it away, right? And, you know, she struck me. Everybody knows how I appreciate the love of God, right?

And, man, she know how to whoop me with God. She said, if you take care of God's people here, take care of you. I said, I'm a trap, but if it don't work, I'm going to blame you. She said, I take that blame. And, uh, so we did. But before we moved out, there was a woman came through from Michigan. She slept on our couch while me and the kids are still there. And eventually we moved out.

She became a house mom. And the first three months we had opened three houses. The gates just flooded the prison. How did you get the houses? Good question. So my first house, I actually bought that house and it had equity in it. And so I took the equity out and put down on another house. And then the other house.

So you're financing these houses. Yeah, the first one though, right? Yeah. But then next one, I go to rent. I find this guy who knows me, he's in the program. He's my high tea gas manager, she might rich. I said, okay, I'll take them I'm just taking what I can right and so we're on this part of town this part of town is just the two of us We got a woman calling come picking we picking a woman up for prison on my lunch break

I'm right right now the street going over the rules of the house with her. My mate worked downtown. She's meeting us at the house. She finished in the paperwork. We meeting them back over there at four o'clock after we picked kids up. Kids is either in the car doing work or they sitting on the porch doing their own work. Then we go do a cleaning job, right?

We already got meals prepared for the kids. And so then we go back and do a curfew check and a meeting this evening. And you got all the resources in this one place. So these folks are cared for getting what they need and a roof. And you're working to provide it. Yes. Dragging your kids around on your lunch break off work in the middle of the night when we got a problem. Yeah. And one of the things happened that we did just for three years and a guy,

a different guy named Mike showed me a piece of property over in West Nashville and you come up the street. It's four blocks and you come up the street. And there are people sitting out on each side of the sidewalk and they're in lawn chills and they chilling man. It's a good hot summer day. You know how we do? Back yard barbecues, you know?

And so they're sitting out there but you pull up and add them your money and they hand you the drugs. This is four blocks of traffic, right? People just sitting out on the edge of the curb. He takes me up his road and then he pulls over in this pothole of a driveway. There's six unit apartment complex here. He said, I want to show you something, man. It'd be good for these women.

So when he pulled over in this pothole of a driveway, I think he's just stopping to, you know, hand somebody something, you know, take care of Klein or something. And he looks back and said, come on. I said, what? He said, come on. I said, what? He said, come on. I said, no, I wait in the car. He said, no, this is it.

Come on. I said, dude, you crazy. I'm trying to get women off drugs, not on drugs. This is round. We got four blocks of drug activity. He said, man, and he'd probably say one of the most important things to me that has impacted my life today.

And he said, listen, you gotta look past the rubbish. Don't look at what it is now. Look at what it can be. And so I was like, no, man, I went when I'm telling you there's six doors. Number two is the only one that had electricity and water. And it had extension cords and hose pipes coming out of it to filter the other units.

Oh my gosh. And so- It's a slum. The smell and one or two, I ain't got no doors. And when I said, Mike, what am I going to do with this? And so I walked and I'm telling you, man, I did it over by two or three days, go home, pray. And I don't know if you've ever experienced being woke up by the spirit, man.

I was like, something just touched me, walked me up, sent me back over there. And I remember coming down to walk with a step-by-step dial. And it was like the light came on. It's like, it's one thing that you want to reclaim and restore the women you serve. But what about the communities that you've destroyed? Why not put these women back over here and help rebuild this community? destroyed. Why not put these women back over here and help rebuild this community? Why not allow elders to come back out and sit on their porch and kids to ride their bikes up and down the street? Why can't parents come and walk their kids to the bus stop without having weapons to protect them and their kids at a bus stop? And I said, who I told my maid about, she said,

Oh, now was that God or was that you? I said, I don't know who it was, but it was clear. It was just clear. I said, I'm telling you, I heard it. It was clear that we need to restore the community. And as a result, man, I didn't have no money. And I told this guy who owned that building, I said, I'll take it over. And I won't call you unless I have.

If the roof falls in the floor falls in, if the HVAC goes out, I said something to that capacity, I do all the maintenance myself. He said, what about what's the deposit? I said, my sweat and equity, I got to put this place back together. He said, how much you going to pay him, right? I said, well, he wanted like 3000 or something. I can't remember, but he said, I said, for the first four months, January, February, March, April, May, April, anything. And on the fifth month for four months, I'm going to give you $1,000. And then the next quarter for the four months, I'm going to give you 1500.

And then the next quarter, I'm going to get you up to $2,000. And we're going to cap it and we're gonna lock it in and it's gonna be a First right or refusal. So if you decide to sell I have first rights to it for the life of the project And so we locked that in at a hundred and seventy nine thousand for six units in 179,000 for six units. Me and the girls put our sweat neck but I didn't know what I was doing. I went to Home Depot and bought a one, two, three book. And we wanna thank, there was a carpet company

that gave us remnants of carpet in Linoa. And man, we got in there nails and stuff together and painted some stuff and made it look like a home. And man, our humble beginnings were so humble, you know, people criticized us for, you know, going over there and trying to redevelop and restore not only community, but women's lives. Like I got backlash from some of my closest friends. But, uh, today, if you go over and look at it, we stand, not only do we stand tall as any

other house over there, but we are a huge impact in the community at large. We are the largest female full continuum of care in the state of Tennessee. We'll be right back. Good song. The Johnny Carson theme, right? Hey, who wrote that? Skip, who do you think? It's your buddy.

Hi, everyone. I'm Paul Anka. And I'm Skip Bronson. And what happens when two old friends take their decades of experience in the business and entertainment roles and sit down with our buddies? You get our way, a brand new show from My Heart Podcast, where we chop it up with our pals about everything under the sun. Hear about Michael Buble's entrance into show business.

And get Business Insight from Mark Burnett. Find out what scares my son-in-law Jason Bateman and discover the bragging rights that come with beating Michael Jordan at golf together. We know just about everybody including Sitting presidents. So join us as we ask the questions. They've not been asked before Tell it like it is and even sing a song or two this is our podcast and we're gonna do it our way listen to our way on the iHeart Radio app Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast

Hey, everything okay? Yes, I'm fine. Honey. Hey, I'm here for you. Tell me about school today. When kids can't find the right words, music can help them sound it out. Talk to the kids in your life about their emotional well-being. Find tools and resources at Soundouttogether.org.

Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal Ventures. At one of the most famous restaurants in the world, there's a table in the corner. We're the most incredible conversations on the planet are happening every week with owner Ruthie Rogers, an amazing guest. Like Martha Stewart. But he did have an affair with one of his best friends.

Jimmy Fallon. You want a zip line over your dad while he gets attacked by alligators? And Paul McCartney. John and I hitchhiked to Paris. We've saved you a seat. Ruthie's Table Four. Listen to Ruthie's Table Four on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. We have not only residential treatment, we have a medical detox. Can you think about a 17-time felon hiring a medical doctor?

I mean, I mean, like, who does it, right? You do, my friend. So we got nurses, nurse practitioners, RNs, case manager, counselors. But, but let me say this more importantly, 35% of my staff is people who have come through my program and are in recovery. Well, let's talk about that. So today, Mending Hearts is a 501 C3. And you have, I want to get this right. We started from that one home that was basically your home.

Yes. That you flipped over that treated seven women. Yes. The program now has 15 homes. Yes. The program now has 15 homes. Yes. And has served over 5400 women coming out of prison to get them all the resources they need.

The shelter and the love and the concern that you didn't have that first time. Yes. That made you go back to your partner that was on the corner when you get off that bus. You interrupted because you lived that, you saw the danger in it, and you provided a resource and a home to interrupt that problem. Because what you said is it's not the criminal justice system that got you. in a home to interrupt that problem.

Because what you said is it's not the criminal justice system that got you, it was society when you left it. That's right. And you created a place to transition from that criminal justice system back into society. Yes. 15 homes and 5400 women and in doing it you're Turning uninhabitable dwellings in areas that badly need investment

Into beacons of hope in hopeless neighborhoods. Yeah, I always tell people in hopeless neighborhoods. Yeah. I always tell people, they're no longer dope houses, they're hope houses. Just took the H out, take the D out, put the H in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know, one of the beautiful things about it,

you know, when gentrification came, you know, I started the first development over in that community, but there's a place called, um, oh my God, I can't think of it, the nations, right? Uh, but a medium home over there, a medium home is $500 and some thousand dollars. And so it's unattainable. Yeah. And so so but but I mean, the nations.

I took the drug-invested, condapitated buildings. And now. You know, we we we are forever grateful for our donors and supporters. So we could not have done it without them. Well, one of the reasons you and I know each other is because of caring more. So why don't you tell us about, um, project redesign? Listen.

I get emotional about caring for a lot of reasons. Okay. Uh, my friend Janet warfare introduced us and, um, I remember Karen's kids coming over to help and our first project help actually do the building. Not only volunteer. Oh, inside. Yes. And so we had this house before I started knocking down and redevelopment building new homes over there. Well, caring them came over and they seen our raggedy broke down. I mean, when I say humble beginnings, we ain't always look like we have, right? But they made us where we were.

And they made us. Look and feel like other people do. Because we were taking what you didn't want. But Karen was bringing us what we needed. Right. She made that place. Not only did they come and bring us the furniture, they set up the furniture, they hung the pictures, they matched the curtains. Listen, they gave us some confidants. I can't even pronounce the name. I don't know. It's listen, it's out of my league. Right.

Some kind of foofoo stuff. Yeah. But I tell those women. You didn't pick it up at Walmart, did you? No, sir. And I tell those women, I say, you guys are living better than I do. You don't understand the extent that these women come and pour their heart. And for every house we have over there, it's been, I want to say, 15 years. It's about 13 to 15 years that we've been working with Karen. And I feel like we got blessed through my friend to meet her, to come and do that.

And so like now, anytime we need furniture or makeover, that's called caring. For our listeners, project redesign basically reuses donated furniture and then they come into places of need like this and they redesign the house so that people can reclaim their life and make a fresh start a new home. And so what happened is project redesign ended up being the, I guess the interior decorator they are for mending hearts. They are. And once again, it gives these women a home.

Yeah. And let me say that it's, Karen may be getting donated furniture, but it is so nice. No, I get it. You cannot tell it is donated. And I just thank them for, because it's one thing, you could bring a truck over and unload and say, here you go, right? But they're bringing a group of women, sometimes 15 to 20 women over there. Yeah, they're not just dumping stuff off.

They're coming in and taking some love in it. And you ought to see how they individualize these women's room. But the beauty of it is, is to see the impact of the woman who gets to receive project redesigned benefits. It's a blessing. So 5,400 women serve so far. I think you can serve about 100 to 110 at a time right now. At capacity. The number of people who come to you, use your resource, have this lovely place to stay as a transition to life.

Do you have any inclination of, you know, what your effectiveness is versus status quo? Yeah. So, so national average, probably 57, 58% and we're at a 72% success rate. Yeah. And that's on a six month average stay. Our women can stay up to two years if need be. And you're, to be clear, you're not, this isn't a handout. It's a hand up.

You're trying to get them to transition into a place that they can get a job and their own home. Yes. up, you're trying to get them to transition into a place that they can get a job and their own home. Yes. And you transition them out to make room for the next crop of folks coming in. That's right. And while in my stay though, they can stay up to two years within 90 days because I think one of the issues we face in putting people, releasing people back to society is I've been using for 30 years and you go put me over in a bed in a classroom for 30 days and you think I'm fixed.

a job and I managed to hold a job for a week, but you give me that check and I get the itching. I'm not going to make it back to the halfway house. I'm probably going to stop by old buddies. Well, your own story would tell you two months and enough and without support is not enough. Yeah. What's your daughter's name? Which one? The one that got in a fight because somebody called you a crackhead. Kanisha. Kanisha? Yes.

Kanisha, if you're listening, not bad for a crackhead. Not bad for a crackhead. Thank you. Srinu, you are a phenomenal human being. Thank you. And if you're listening to this and you're sitting around thinking, I listened to an army of normal folks a lot or maybe this is the first one you've listened to and you think, gosh, I really would like to do something. But you know, can I?

Who am I? How do I? Who am I? How do I? Where am I? Um, 17 felonies, an addiction from somewhere around age of 18, staring at 30 years in prison, having completed programs and fallen off the wagon again and still fighting to find a way. You just heard the story of a woman who is changing, who has helped change 5,400 lives and can change 110 at a time from the hood. Yeah. And if she can do it, anybody can do it.

And you are that inspiration. And I am, I just, I sit here and listen to your story and we've already gone long enough. I can talk to you for an hour more about it, but Trina, I just want to tell you, you're really not an army of normal folks because nothing about you is normal. But the truth is that's what we found out about all our guests is the irony of an army of normal folks, the irony of people you've never heard doing extraordinary things that change lives is once we hear their stories, we find out, you know, it's an army of extraordinary people

and you are one and I am so blessed that I got to hear your story and thank you so much for sharing it with us. Thank you and it's an honor just to be in your company, man. I was telling Karen, we got to watch the movie tonight. Right. And it's like when I knew I was coming to do a podcast, I was coming to be with you.

Well, that ain't no big deal. Trina, last thing. I'm hoping people heard this and think, you know, I'd like to do that in my community or I'd like to, I'd like to donate to Mending Hearts furniture, goods, resources or money. And I'm certain if anybody wants to hear about this and get pointers, how do we get in touch with Trina Friarsson? Sure.

Go to our website, MendingHeartsInc.org. Are you gonna dial me up or text me up? 615-668-2260. Email? Yes, trinaf at MendingHeartsInc.org. You can also reach us at info at MendingHeartsInc.org. That's a website, that's an email, that's a phone number. Somebody wants to reach you, they should be able to reach you.

Yes. Last question. How's your relationship with the kids, Trina? God has blessed me in more ways than one. Their friends say, I wish I had a bond with my mom the way you have one with yours. And sometimes I have to tell my kids, listen, y'all got to find some new friends. Remember, I'm your mom. You know, it's like, hey, mom, what you doing tonight?

Come over here with us. Like, hey, you want to go to the movies? And so we have a bond out of this world. One of the beauties of it is that I've been able to take my mess and make it a message. And then messaging my kids is sitting around the table at dinner times talking about real tough stuff, the stuff that we don't often talk about, you know, the issues in our daily lives that go on that we want to tuck away and lay on the pillow and toss and turn with at night. I want to bring it back to the kitchen table.

And so because of that and therapy, we have a phenomenal bond with all my kids. When you said that, I just wrote it down and you wanna see something really weird? When you take mess and you add age to it, it becomes a message. How beautiful is that? Wow. Trina, thanks for joining me. No, thanks for having me, it's an honor.

It's been an honor for me too. And thank you for joining us this week. If Trina Friarsen or another guest has inspired you in general or better yet inspired you to take action by donating to Mending Hearts, volunteering with them by starting something like it in your area or something else entirely, please let me know. I really do want to hear about it. You can write me anytime at bill at normalfolks.us and I will respond. If you enjoyed this episode, guys, please share it with friends and on social. Subscribe to the podcast, rate and review it. Become a premium member at normalfolks.us,

all these things that will help us grow an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney, I'll see you next week. What if I told you fairy tales had a darker side? He locked her in this dungeon. He ordered her to do this impossible thing. He threatened to kill her multiple times. That's one where Red and Grandma are just dead.

She takes the frog and with all her might throws him against the wall. Join me, Miranda Hawkins, as we step into the twisted world of the Brothers Grimm. Listen to the Deep Dark Woods on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Laura VanderKam. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist, and speaker.

And I'm Sarah Hart Unger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer, and course creator. We are two working parents who love our careers and our families. On the Best of Both Worlds podcast each week, we share stories of how real women manage work, family, and time for fun. From figuring out childcare to mapping out long-term career goals, we want you to get the most out of life. Listen to Best of Both Worlds every Tuesday on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or

wherever you get your podcasts. History is beautiful, brutal, and often ridiculous. Join me, Ben Bullen, and me, Noel Brown, as we dive into some of the strangest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History. Join us to hear the many ways history can be oh so ridiculous.