An Army of Normal Folks - Troy and Erica Andrews: Be A Constant in a Child’s Life (Pt 2)

Episode Date: November 28, 2023

After suffering through a failed adoption, Troy and Erica put themselves through the process again. It’s a wild story with twists and turns that would have led many to give up, but not these two. Today, there’s around 117,000 kids waiting to be adopted. Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premiumSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, it's Bill Courtney with an Army of Normal Folks, and we continue with part two of our conversation with Troy and Erica Andrews right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors. Hi, I'm Daniel Tosh, host of a new podcast called Tosh Show, brought to you by I Heart Podcasts. Why am I getting into the podcast game now? Well, it seems like the best way to let my family know what I'm up to instead of visiting, or being part of their incessant group text.

I'll be interviewing people that I find interesting, so not celebrities, and certainly not comedians. I'll be interviewing my plumber, my stylist, my wife's gynecologist. We'll be covering topics like religion, travel, sports, gambling, but mostly it will be about being a working mother. If you're looking for a podcast that will educate and inspire, or one that will really make you think, this isn't the one for you. But it will be entertaining to a very select few because you don't make it to your mid-40s with IBS without having a story or two to tell. Join me as I take my place among podcast royalty like Joel Olstein and Lance Bass. Those are words I hope I'd never have to say.

Listen to Toss Show in the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American history. That's Rob Breiner, Rob called me, so let Ado Bryan and ask me what I knew about this crime. I know 60 years later, new leads are still emerging. To me, an award-winning journalist, that's the making of an incredible story. And on this podcast, you're going to hear it told by one of America's greatest storytellers. We'll ask who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president. My dad, the 5JFK, screwed us at the Bay of Pigs, and then he screwed us after the Cuban Missile Crisis.

We'll reveal why Lee Harvey Oswald isn't who they said he was. I was under the impression that Lee who has been trained for a specific operation then will pull the curtain back on the cover-up. The American people need to know the truth. Listen to Who Killed JFK on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Mo Raka, and I'm excited to announce season four of my podcast, Mo Bituaries.

I've got a whole new bunch of stories to share with you about the most fascinating people and things who are no longer with us. From famous figures who died on the very same day to the things I wish would die Like buffets. People actually take little tastes along the way with their fingers. Oh! They do. Oh no, I'm so sorry. Do you need a minute?

This is the only interview where I've needed a spit bucket. Ha, ha, ha. I'm so sorry. We'll tell you about the singer who helped define cool. And the sports world's very first superstar. To call Jim Thorpe the greatest athlete in American history is not a stretch

because no athlete before since is done what he did. Listen to MoBituary's with MoRaka on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. podcasts. Now let's return to Erica and Troy on how they process being asked to adopt another child after a failed adoption. And I mean, he says it a little, I, it took me a couple of days of just it was really it was raw for her. It was yeah. I'm, I'm, you know, I mean it a little, it took me a couple of days of just it was really. It was really. It was raw for her.

It was, yeah. I'm, you know, I mean, obviously I'm not as emotional as she is. And she's very empathetic and I'm more pragmatic. And, you know, so, you know, we come from a different perspective as it relates to that. So, yeah, for her, you know, she was all in, emotionally, and I kind of like dipped my toe in. Ms. Carly, yeah. Then we said, okay, throw our book in. There were five families he was looking at. Okay, if it's meant to be, it'll be, you know, he'll pick our book. Well, over the course of

the next four days, so this was like on a third, Wednesday or Thursday. He was going to come to town. He didn't live in the town we lived in on the Sunday. Well, one by one, he eliminated four other families. The last one on Saturday night. And so come Sunday. There was only one family he wanted to talk to and it was us. So that was pretty clear. That we couldn't say no. And so that was... No, that's true. I mean, it was like, well, let's just see how this plays out. I mean, we didn't, we were in line. We were in a group program. Yes.

Did we want to be considered? And that was even a hard, you know, hard to say yes to. But I thought, oh my gosh, there's four other families, including us, you know. That almost feels like shark tank to me. That's crazy. So, so he, he, meaning the birth father then chooses you guys as what? Is that the people to adopt his child? Yes, at the time, yes.

That was what he was looking for. He had been kind of single parenting her for about a year and a half. Wasn't maybe going as well. He'd kind of left her with family members off and on. Wasn't going, I think it wasn't easy for him, of course. He also had other influences in life that I think were making him come to this decision. But he liked that CPO offered an open adoption so he still wanted to be involved.

And so we met her and then agreed to have a weekend with her the following weekend. And so I mean, as she was adorable, I mean, I remember asking my friend, what does she look like? And I, I meant, just because. I'm not supposed to tell us that. Yeah, and they don't really,

they're like, at CPO is a ministry, it's Christian ministry, like you don't really you know they're like we are not at CPO is a ministry It's Christian ministry like you don't you don't get to pick and shoot yeah, I get a book a baby You know and she's like oh, you know, we can yes, she said you know, we can't I'm like oh, I know, I know But she did say she goes she she called me back She's I just said tell me about Sophia and he said she's blonde hair blue eyes and tall for age. And I know we're all talking, this is all audio, but Troy's like almost six seven and I'm I was a blonde hair blue eye baby and, you know, in our other girls I always said we're little traders because they didn't look like me. So it was just kind of this, it was sort of like, it was just meant to be.

And so we took her for a weekend, which then turned into he wanted us to have her for a few weeks But he was gonna sign paperwork. There had to be some paperwork that had to be signed. Yeah, he was like ready to do it But I'm gonna get all this paperwork signed and do all this stuff. But can you guys keep her? So we basically moved her in and thought this was gonna totally move forward and kept checking Have you been have you gotten the papers notarized? Have you sent them in? No, no, I didn't have time today, you know, and kind of kept putting off. Well, then a few weeks into it, he was going to come to visit her. And he came in, he took her, they took her to McDonald's for a little bit. And she walked out saying, bye mom, bye dad. And then when she walked

in, she was calling me Erica. So I'm like, yeah, all right, what's up? Something, the something's changed here and so we kind of got the story from him. Everyone that said, or you know, he, he had people that wanted to help him that this is, he just, he had changed his mind and he wanted to go into kind of the whole store and I said, also, I know, are you taking her tonight? And he said, yes. And I stood up and walked upstairs and started packing her up. Well, I kind of left Troy down there. Yeah, she was upset.

But she was upset not that she was angry and and righteously angry. And so she just basically packed up all of her stuff. We put it in the car and I saw him outside and I said if we had to go we had to go through this my children had to go through this you're gonna say that sorry baby. I didn't know if you were and said if we all had to go through this and she did she said she needed you make sure she knows what I say she's she was not kicked out of this house that she was wanted that she was not kicked out of this house. That she was wanted, that she was not kicked out of this house because she had made a comment that she'd been kicked out of grandma's house. Yeah, because he would, what he would do is, I mean, he would drop her off places for like a long period of time and then come back and get her. So he would, so he dropped, so he was passing her around.

And her perspective is she's not wanted there either. And every time she leaves a place, she feels less and less wanted, which is more and more trauma on this more child. It was just so, so destructive on her. I mean, she was to the age, you know, when you get to, you're so impressionable in those early years until you're four

and she was almost four. You know, she was left at grandma's house for I don't know months and she said Grandma called me a menace and you know those sorts I mean she remembered all of these things and already at her young age. She was used to getting her own meals I mean she would she'd go in and get herself something to eat and get some cereal and, you know, it was crazy. I mean, you know, what she would learn to have to do on her own just to take care of herself because he couldn't, you know, I mean, so obviously she came back. How did that happen? So

he had her for, I don't know, a month, a couple months maybe, and then he called us back and he wanted to bring her back. Everybody that was going to help everybody was, did you tell her, did you tell him we're not your grandmother? I mean, that's not how this is going to work. Well, this is what I, this is what I took over. I kind of, I took over from here because Eric is, you know, this is not, I had to be very direct with him and just said, look, I can't. You're not going to do this to her. You're not going to do this to my family. You're not going to do this to my wife. I said, so you're going to sign every single document before we take her back. And he was desperate. He was like,

you know, yeah, so, so, you know, we had to hire a private investigator to go find the birth mother. I swear to you, I was just about to say, plus, y'all still aren't over the sting of Carly, and you're still considering putting yourself in this position to potentially be heard again, and I haven't heard a word about the birth mother yet, and given what you went through with the birth father and the birth mother of Carly, I'm sitting there thinking, what are you doing about the birth mother?

Yeah, we did not bring Sophia back into our house until everything was done. And so we hired a private investigator, we found the birth mother, She was living in Indiana. And we set a court hearing date. We notified her. She came. She drove all the way down from Indiana to the court hearing date in Oklahoma. Contested it to to to contest it or you know, I mean, she, you know, and so or, you know, I mean, she, you know, and so she showed up. She, she, she contested and that ended that part, that, that day. So that was like early July, I think of that year.

And then we, I sat outside the courtroom with her for about an hour and a half, two hours, her asking me questions. And because we knew we didn't want to, yes, we said, we can't just take take this child if there's this mom out there who might be looking for a child or whatever but She showed up with a black guy and missing front teeth. I was like, okay, we're gonna rescue this child Yeah, she was coming from a hard time and so I talked to about an hour and a half two hours that day And just talked about what an open adoption looked like. She had a, she had another son that was older than Sophia that was being cared for by her parents. So she had a lot of questions

and she wanted to see that. Yeah. So I get halfway home because this took place in a town about 45 minutes away. And she about halfway home and I get a call and she said, so if I would decide to do this, could I come and see where she would live? And so she drove, it would have been out of her, and she had to be back to work the next day. Her plan was, her boyfriend was to be all the way back to Indiana by the next day.

So she came out of her way and drove to our house and came and stayed for about an hour. So I just wanted to see like if I decided to do this, you know, and so of course the room was still intact, everything was still kind of as it was. And so she did that and said she was going to think about it. And then it was about three or four days later she contacted our attorney and said that she she would agree to the adoption adoption and so then that next court hearing was set for the end of July and that's when everything got finalized. An adamant already signed. The first father had already signed all of the documents and everything so we just needed her to agree.

So she agreed. Yeah. So if he is now your daughter, you pass the legal part, which means everything's perfect in Rosie and Beaver Cleaver, right? For the most part, yes. Oh, come on, guys. There's no way a child that has been through all of that and has already held at this point three or four. She had just had a fourth, yeah. She turned four just a few weeks after we meet. Yeah, there's no way a four-year-old that knows how to go get her own cereal

gets put into this new environment and acclimates immediately. This had to have been tough. We'll be right back. interesting, so not celebrities, and certainly not comedians. I'll be interviewing my plumber, my stylist, my wife's gynecologist. We'll be covering topics like religion, travel, sports, gambling, but mostly it will be about being a working mother. If you're looking for a podcast that will educate and inspire, or one that will really make you think, this isn't the one for you you but it will be entertaining to a very select few because you don't make it to your mid-40s with IBS without having a story or

to tell. Join me as I take my place among podcast royalty like Joel Olstein and Lance Bass. Those are words I hope I'd never have to say. Listen to Toss Show in the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American history. That's Rob Breiner, Rob called me, so would Ado Bryan and asked me what I knew about this crime. I know 60 years later, new leads are still emerging. To me, an award-winning journalist, that's the making of an incredible story.

And on this podcast, you're going to hear it told by one of America's greatest storytellers. Well, ask who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president. My dad, the father of JFK, screwed us at the Bay of Pigs, and then he screwed us after the Cuban Missile Crisis. We'll reveal why Lee Harvey Oswald isn't who they said he was. I was under the impression that Lee was being trained for a specific operation, then we'll pull the curtain back on the cover-up. The American people need to know the truth.

Listen to Who Killed JFK on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Otheech County, Oklahoma, is getting a lot of attention right now. It's the setting of Martin Scorsese's latest film, Killers of the Flower Moon. The movie is based on a book about the 1920s Osage murders, when white men poured into Osage County and killed Osage people for their oil wealth. I am Rachel Adams-Herd, the host of Intrust, a podcast from Bloomberg and I Heart Media. For over a year, I was reporting a different story. About other ways white people got Osage land and wealth.

And how a prominent ranching family in Osage County became one of the biggest landowners here. Their ranching empire was built on land that at the turn of the century was all owned by the Osage Nation. So how'd they get it? Listen to the award-winning podcast, Intrust, on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We we thought though we already had a planned vacation with multiple families, you know, Disney World, Disney Cruise and just thought this is going to be so amazing. Disney is incredible. When I took my kids, my kids this most miserable nine days of my life. Oh, bite your tongue. Hold it. Are you saying shortly after the adoption you guys decided to take care about it to Disney?

Yes, apparently I didn't read the part in the book that says you know you should cocoon for a year when especially when you bring an older child and you shouldn't do anything that's a big, you know, vacation and lots of, you know, stimulation. And we didn't, I didn't see that part in the book. So yeah, we took our aunt, you know, on a Disney cruise and on a, like two a month or month and a half, like it was September. So like the next month did this whole thing. And as Troy, you can show this part. I always tell people every single girl

and our family cried on that trip. Yeah. Oh, it was terrible. It was terrible. We got back. I mean, she was a nightmare. And it was unbelievable. She was so adorable.

And like giant big blue eyes. And we put her in a Cinderella outfit. And she just looked, you know. Charming, I mean, people would just like gas when they saw her. And she looked so beautiful. And they didn't know back in our state room, you know, we were all like pulling our hair out and all that kind of stuff. But we get home and we got home really late the night before

we crash and go to bed the next morning, get up. She's, of course, hungry, because that was always her first thing in the morning. I'm hungry. And so she's sitting up at the little bar in the kitchen and I haven't had my coffee yet, and she kind of makes it, wow, and I go, what? And we, some people kind of got in a little stomach bug

and I thought, oh no, she's not feeling good. And I go, what's the matter? She goes, man, she goes, I'm so glad to be home and it was the first time that I thought oh my gosh like maybe well you know when you think about it here's what here's what would happen to her every time Adam would drop her off somewhere he would build that place up it's gonna be awesome you're gonna be great you're gonna have so much fun with grandma you're gonna and then he would leave her for three months,

or how long? She thought she might be left at Disney. Yeah, she was, she was waiting for us to leave her somewhere. Fight her flight the whole time we were there. Plus her little heart. She was, and she can't control that. I mean, she was just in complete frazzle mode. And to be honest with you to this very day,

we go to Disney every year at least once. And we all really are nuts. Yeah. Yeah, that we are. And she's still still struggle. It's unregulated when we go when we go on trips. And she's 14. Yeah.

And if that doesn't speak to at the top of this show, we talked about, you know, the trauma of abandonment for children. If that doesn't speak to it, despite the fact that she's been 10 years in a loving, caring home with sisters and all that she needs and probably a lot that she wants in Disney trips once a year,

but she still struggles with that. The pain of the abandonment that she learned as a child, and it's a very real thing, and I believe it's a trauma in our society today. Absolutely. And the worst part about it is, she can't recognize it. I mean, she does. She knows that I'm off and I don't like this, you know. But it's so ingrained in her mind and so deeply seated that it's not like she's aware, like there's self-awareness there. Like, she doesn't understand that she's being snappy and snippy

and talking back to us and argumentative and you know she just is and she's really just happy to go sit in the room. I mean if if we kind of get into a situation where it's like where where she's kind of escalated things, she really just wants to go back she'll she'll be like I'm running on the vacation I just want to go back to the room and just you know and she'll spend a day in the room or so and she'll get regulated. And then she's fine. You know why? Because the thing to the day, she knows that you guys will always be a constant for her.

Yeah, that's true. You know, one of the things that we used to do, and we'll have to be kind of bigger this out early on, you know, is as if she would get unregulated We would just grab her face and get in her face and say You're coming home with us. We're not leaving you here. You're you're gonna be fine. We're gonna have fun You know, and she likes to she really likes to know what the plan is because she wants to know Okay, what do we do she wants to make sure that shoes not dropping at the end of it. Yeah, she can't help it. I mean, she really can't. And she's at least old enough now where she's aware

of I'm a little unregulated and I'm making everybody mad. And I'm mad and just let me stay in the room today. And she'll just stay in the room and watch cartoons or listen to a book or draw or whatever and then she's fine but she doesn't want to ruin our vacation I mean she's extremely kind spirited like she cares about people you know very empathetic and so she's she's pretty amazing um so I know that Sophia you, was a challenge at first and the first Disney was a disaster, but she is a gift also.

Tell me about what she did in those early days or as she became more and more comfortable with you as her constant family, tell me about one of your proudest moments. Well, I think our proudest moment just happened. Yes, I was going to say, oh, bless her heart. This is so sweet. Do you want to tell her? Do you want me to? No, you please.

I mean, just, you know she again very empathetic and my 98-year-old great-grandmother just passed away last week and I was fortunate enough to be there when she crossed over into heaven and before I left I ran upstairs to tell Sophia hey daddy got me an early flight I'm leaving in the morning so I probably won't see you but I'm gonna go be with grandma and the next morning Troy woke up I'm an early flight. I'm leaving in the morning. So I probably won't see you, but I'm gonna go be with grandma and the next morning Troy woke up. I'm trying to get ready. I'm sharony He had gone out to the coffee pot and there was a no a little post. It said give this to mommy and it was a letter written by her So I had said goodnight to her at 10 and I don't know how long it took her but she had taken a devotional out of her Bible and

wrote the whole devotional out of her Bible and wrote the whole devotional out about a girl who had had lost in her life. And then she said, she said, and mommy, here's some Bible verses for you for on the plane. And then at the end of it, she said, you know, you've always been there for me, mom, and I wanted to return the favor. And it was just this, I mean, it was so were you a blubbering mess? It was four pages long in this tiny, tiny writing

and just that she had spent, I don't know how long that night. Oh, I've had to have taken her hours. Writing that to make sure I had that in the morning. So I had something on the plane. And it was just, it's one of those things, I mean, proud of her, but also just kind of like, oh, this is working.

You know, like she's coming into her own and really acknowledging, you know, this can be a very thankless job in a lot of ways because you're the adults and they're the, you know, they're the trauma child or they're the ones that have been come from a hard place. And you're the changes and the improvement sometimes you're so incremental it's hard to see it when you're day to day

and then sometimes big things like that happen and it makes you just realize it gives you that energy it gives you that. Yeah. The insurance, you know, or that. Did you ball? I mean did you draw? you know, or that ball. I mean, did you lie? Yeah. Let me just tell you she balls at a homework commercial. So yeah, she ball. I mean, I'm not that would have, I would have torn me. It was it was it was it. What it is, y'all, it's proof positive that you're doing it right because being a constant for her, she's paying that forward to her mom. I mean, that's so sweet. Yeah, it was precious. I can't even tell you how much that means.

She, you know, one of the things I take her to school a lot and then Erica picks her up. And, you know, it's a 20-minute drive to the school and she always talks about how she wants to be a mom I'm gonna be a mom and I want to have this many kids and I'm gonna Wow she has a whole planned out That's awesome that really is so you know The story's amazing y'all

You know an army of normal folks where an army of normal folks comes is I The story is amazing, y'all. An army of normal folks, where an army of normal folks comes is I'm of the mindset that the government has proven woefully inadequate in caring for the most disadvantaged among us. And the smart talking heads and suits and DC and on the press are not going to be the answer to what elves are culture and society, rather it's just going to be folks like you

who decide that they have the means and the willingness to fight through some of their own emotional scars and pain to do something good in the world. And in your words to be a constant for someone else. And, you know, I am, and I think that people that hear this will just be in awe of the grace and the love that you've shown. We'll be interviewing people that I find interesting, so not celebrities, and certainly not comedians. I'll be interviewing my plumber, my stylist, my wife's gynecologist. We'll be covering topics like religion, travel, sports, gambling, but mostly it will be about being a working mother.

If you're looking for a podcast that will educate and inspire, or one that will really make you think, this isn't the one for you, but it will be entertaining to a very select few, because you don't make it to your mid-40s with IBS without having a story or two to tell. Join me as I take my place among podcast royalty like Joel Olstein and Lance Bass. Those are words I hope I'd never have to say. Listen to Tosho on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American

history. That's Rob Breiner. Rob called me, so would Ado Brein, and asked me what I knew about this crime. I know 60 years later, new leads are still emerging. To me, an award-winning journalist, that's the making of an incredible story. And on this podcast, you're going to hear it told by one of America's greatest storytellers. Well, ask who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president. My dad, 5JFK, screwed us at the Bay of Pigs, and then he screwed us after the Cuban Missile Crisis.

We'll reveal why Lee Harvey Oswald isn't who they said he was. I was under the impression that Lee was being trained for a specific operation, then we'll pull the curtain back on the cover-up. The American people need to know the truth. Listen to who killed JFK on the iHeart Radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, this is Jiselle and Robin and we're the host of reasonably shady

on the Black Effect podcast network. I absolutely love our podcast. Yes, it has been so much better than I expected. Yes, because we get to share our lives with everyone. They get to learn about us. This is the podcast that you want to listen to, just to feel like you're in the living room with your girlfriends, you're driving the car with your girlfriend, you having that good girlfriend talk. And sometimes we say things that like you want to say,

but you can't say out loud. We're like speaking your mind for you, but you're scared to say it, but we're gonna say it. We do hot topics, we talk about reasonable and shady things, so get into it. Get into it and join us every Monday for ReasonBullyShady, and be sure to tune into the latest season of the Real Housewives of Potomac. Subscribe to ReasonBullyShady on the iHeHard Radio App, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. A friend of mine, I'd like to get your reaction to this.

A friend of mine has said repeatedly that there's over 400,000 places of worship in the United States, and there's 400,000 children in the United States and foster care. And if simply one person from each place of worship in the United States took in a foster child and made them their own, that there would be no need for foster care and there would be no orphans in our country anymore. What do you think about that comment? Yeah, I think it's interesting.

I do think that you have to be called to do this. I mean, God clearly called us and as such, I believe, equipped us and we're not. We haven't been perfect. We've failed a lot and we've had to come to Sophie and ask for forgiveness and lots of times to be honest with you. And we've looked at each other and have said, what did we do? What are we doing to our family? Why are we doing it? I mean there's lots of those days But there's a lot of good days too But you know, I would tell you that probably our favorite verse in the Bible is James 127 What is pure and undefiled religion to feed the orphans and widows and

and to keep them pure from the world. And that's, you know, to me, you know, if I look at it from a different perspective and just reading that, it's like, to me, that says that almost all other practices of religion are defiled by man in some way. But this is pure. So that's always been kind of our verse that we've focused on really early on in our marriage, to be honest with you. So I guess I'm taking a long way about it to agree with what you say,

is that people can do it. And I never want people to feel like they feel guilty if they don't do it. I get that. I've coached a lot of football and volunteered and had some success with not only on the field, which is not the important part, but the kids off the field and often get asked, you know, how do you do that?

Or, you know, and to me, it was pretty simple. That's what I felt called to do. And it's primarily because of something Erica said earlier, she hit the nail on the head, the, the, the men in my life that were constant and that were my mentors. And it mattered to me the most were my coaches. And so when you go into the inner city and volunteer in places that there's large fatherlessness, it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a give back for me. And it's also very easy for me, but I wouldn't suggest a lot of people do it because it's really hard as heck to do and to do well. And and and there's a lot of misery involved in it.

So I hear you, what you're saying is what you've done is not for everybody, but what I did was not for everybody. But the thing about being a part of the army of normal folks is not doing what I did or what you did, it's just doing what you're good at so that you can be a constant for someone else, so that you can be a positive influence for somebody else. And if we had an army of people, I talk about the 400,000 houses of worship, that would be an army of people. If we had an army of people just serving, simply serving one more person in their community and being a constant in your words for them,

think about the positive effect we could have in society and culture today. Oh yeah. Yeah. And you guys have done that not once, but twice. And I would argue that you're crazy for having done it twice, considering the first thing that you went through, but you're crazy in a beautiful, wonderful way and it's inspiring what you've done. And your family is awesome. Well, you know, the thing about it is, is I think we, another thing that we've learned

going through what we went through, even as young, like, like like going through the trauma of divorce and all those things is through hard things. There's always good and so There's always good that's gonna come of it and you look back on it I mean if we wouldn't have made the decision we wouldn't have Sophia in our lives. We wouldn't see You know, we are truly convinced that we've saved her, you know, we don't know you know, she has dyslexia she has dyslexia. She has ADHD. And, and, you know, we've been able to help her with that. And, you know, so she's extremely gifted and extremely intelligent. But if, but a lot of, a lot of kids that have dyslexia and ADHD, if they don't have the tools or somebody to help them with the way their mind works

then they think that they're stupid and they just embrace the stupid and they live their life that way, but she's she's you know, there's a lot of people out there that are extremely gifted, amazingly gifted that have dyslexia because they're so, they're complex problem solvers, and she has that ability in her to think outside the box and to, you know, never stop trying to figure stuff out. And hopefully we've been able to help her with that well, and You know, I hear that and

What a blessing she's been to you because those are things you now know about the human condition that you would have not known had it So true, you know, it's crazy that I have After her and all that we've been through with figuring this out, I literally have about eight friends of mine that I didn't even know that they were dyslexic and ADHD because they never would tell me that. And didn't that to pay off, y'all? Yeah. When you do, when you do step out and you do join the army of normal folks and you do

try to do small, extraordinary things and you do try to be a constant for somebody and you do try to give back. Isn't it true that the payoff is it comes back to you in spades? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the hard things bring good things, you know, and it does pay off. It's, there's no question., participate in life, you know. Yep. I do remember this one moment, I told you Carly was a little on the colloquy side and

I remember rocking her in the rocking chair that I'd rocked my other girls in and just sitting there, you know, and just kind of going, Lord, how did I get here? It was really pretty amazing. And I just remember him gently just telling me that I did not call you to the Mission Field of Africa. I called you to a rocking chair. That is awesome. Yeah.

And I think that that just what you're doing with your mission here, I hope it, you know, the coaching and just even doing this podcast is just it is to inspire people to Do what they can where they are, you know, do with what you what abilities you've been blessed with and what means you have and and I It doesn't I think we sometimes get caught up. Well, I could never do that. I could never you know I mean, I we have friends that have sold everything and moved in Africa moved overseas overseas, and I just think, oh my gosh, I could never do that. And like you said with your coaching,

I could never do that. But there is, I think God has a special mission for all of us in somewhere and other. And sometimes it's just being a mom sitting on the floor with their kids and day after day, or it's, you know, it can be something little, it doesn't have to be big. But I like, I love what you're doing with your project as well because the government is not the solution, but it is people out there.

I think just doing their that you weren't called to the fields of Africa. You were called to a rocking chair. And if that doesn't say that the most average person doing the most average thing can have profound effects on another person's life in the simplest of ways nothing does. And it's a beautiful example of what we're talking about. Appreciate that. I want to ask one more thing. For any listeners out there who's thinking, you know what, I'd like to actually consider and step up and at least examine what you guys have done. Is there any way that they could reach out to you?

Would you be willing so that anybody listening to us that might want to step out and do this in their own lives? Maybe there's an outlet for them to find out more. Probably, and then probably better contact in my email. Someone would like to reach out is Andrews, 9-3 at MacMAC.com. Yeah, Eric does a lot of support group work with families that have made it absolutely. I started a foster and adopted mom support group when I moved here. I had a group of moms when we

lived in Tulsa and now we're in the Dallas area and that was just something that was missing. I thought for me it was having other moms and other moms to walk through and have kind of a safe space because it is not easy to foster or adopt that so I do have a support group here in the in the Dallas area too as well. Awesome. Okay well we know how to reach you, we know how to find out how to do it, and we now have a unbelievable story about selflessness and giving and grace and unconditional love and a commitment to simply being constant for somebody. You guys are amazing and I've enjoyed our time together.

We've enjoyed it too. Thank you so much. We're honored that you would ask us to tell our story. Yes, absolutely. And thank you for joining us this week. If Erica and Troy or another guest has inspired you in general or better yet to take action by starting the adoption process, supporting an adoptive family, or something else entirely. Please let me know. I'd love to hear about it. You can write me anytime at billatnormalfokes.us and I will respond.

And if you enjoyed this episode, share it with friends and on social. Subscribe to the podcast, rate, and review it. Become a premium member at normalfocues.us. All these things that will help us grow and army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. I'll see you next week. Business notifications getting out of hand,

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That's Rob Breiner, Rob called me, so would Ed O'Brien and asked me what I knew about this crime. Well, ask who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president. Then we'll pull the curtain back on the cover-up. The American people need to know the truth. Listen to Who Killed JFK on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.