And That's Why We Drink - E401 Demon Water Superpowers and a Pretty Poisoner

Episode Date: October 13, 2024

Welcome to Episode 400 plus an extra and this week we’re letting Satan take the wheel. Today Em brings us a classic possession that has us saying “Thanks Priests!” with the story of the Possession of Don Decker. Then Christine takes us to Alabama, and all over the U.S., with the topsy-turvy case of Audrey Marie Hilley. And is picture day outdated now?… and that’s why we drink! Come see our brand new live show: The Pour Decisions Tour which is sure to bring plenty of gasps, laughs, and frights! Get your tickets at: http://andthatswhywedrink.com/live ! Mothman? More like moth SLAM - poetry! Don't just scream your creepy cryptid slam poetry verses into the void, send them to us at: [e-mail] for a chance to be featured in our Cryptids Unscripted special! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christine, I wrote you a poem. Do you want to hear it? No. Well, it's called an ode to my midday nap. Oh, god. OK. All right, go on. Go on.

Here we go. Here's a quick little beat for you, if you want to snap along for me. A mattress so soft and yet so strong of heart, it's hard to tell if I'll ever depart. And when all's said and done, I think this just might be a poem about Helix sleep mattresses, because they help me sleep.

Is it over? Did you like it or, oh, well, yes, for now. And more to come, maybe? As much as I was giving you a hard time, I do actually feel the same way about my Helix mattress. I'm sure I've written many a poem in my own sleep about it. I love my Helix mattress. I did all my editing.

So it's also kind of like a part-time desk because I do a lot of work on my Helix mattress, but I've gotten the best sleep of my life. Yes, it can be a bed, it can be a couch, it can be a workspace, it could be a table if you're me and just moved in and have no table. It could be a muse, a muse for your poetry. A muse, it could be where you kick your legs

when you're really excited about something because a cute someone texted you. Yeah when you're on your hamburger phone. Yeah and for those who did like my poem they have an October special going right now offering 20% off all mattress orders this October. Just go to helixsleep.com slash drink. Go to helixsleep.com slash drink today so you too can wax poetic and take just the world's best midday naps, just like. Kick off an exciting football season with bet MGM, an official sports book partner of the national football league yard after yard, down after down, the sports book born in Vegas gives you the chance to take action to the end zone and celebrate every highlight real play.

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with iGaming Ontario. ["I'm a Little Bitter"] ["I'm a Little Bitter"] Welcome to episode 400 plus, an extra. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. What if we just spent 50 episodes celebrating our 400. Yeah, but then we would have to do, like 451 would be 450 episodes plus one.

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna do it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it would be, oh, we're leaning up to 500 now. Oh, only 99 episodes left. I know, this is celebration of 400 and we've dragged that on as long as possible. And then 451, we're like, all right guys,

it's time to gear up for 500. I mean, you're saying things that I'm gonna do now. So it's nice that you're preparing. Well, we're gonna do them for once and then we'll forget, so it's fine. Okay, perfect. Well, on today's, on today at the very least, how excited is everyone for the 500th episode coming out?

I mean, the 450th first, but then the 500th. It's only two years away, if I'm doing my math correctly. Only two years. It's like not that far away. We got to start preparing something. Yeah, just like we did for 400 and then like completely botched it. So we better start prepping. The pasta girl wasn't real.

I did try. I tried very hard. Yeah, well, you have time now to start looking for real stories. You have about two years to find one that's actually true. Christine, one, why do you drink? And two, why do you have such a glowy eyelid today? Oh, thank you. I found this thing in my makeup stuff from 2016, and I put it on my eyes.

And I was like, why is it so dry? And then I realized, okay, because it's from 2016. Probably very expired and I probably shouldn't be putting it on my eyes, but it's just some like shimmer. Either 70s or Y2K, but it's got kind of like that blue silver shimmer. Kind of going on.

Yeah, I was feeling it. And so yeah, I took a shower today. You're welcome everybody. And I thought maybe I'll put on my expired makeup too while I'm feeling it. And so yeah, I took a shower today. You're welcome, everybody. And I thought maybe I'll put on my expired makeup too while I'm at it. You know, I love that you get clean and then you get dirty all over again. I do.

And then I wonder why I get so many infections. You don't do well without a rough coat of something gross on you. Oh, speaking of which, I drank today. Thank you for asking because today, Blaze got home from dropping Leon off and said, did you know it was picture day? And I said, no, nobody told me.

It wasn't on the calendar. And like, I don't really care, but it was very funny. He's like, I dropped her off and she was wearing her Spidey jacket that Blaze texted us today. You're welcome for picture day then. I fucking nailed it. No, she literally wore welcome for picture day then. I fucking nailed it. No, she literally wore it for picture day.

And I, which is so funny. And the teacher goes, wow, you're wearing your Spidey jacket for picture day. And Blaze went, uh-oh, it's picture day because her breakfast was still on her face and he had not done her hair at all. So it was just kind of like raggedy on her face. And so her teacher was like, let me get a hairbrush.

So she had like a little hairbrush and they put her in pigtails. And then Blaze was like, but I think I forgot to wipe her face. And I thought, that's okay. She's my boxcar child, as I always call her. I always loved the boxcar children's series as a kid. We've done this.

Oh yeah, we know. I agree with your love. Yeah, I just love the boxcar lifestyle, you know, in theory, not in real life. Not in practice, but it is fun to astral project there every now and then. Right, just like fake it a little bit. Like it's just like I'm like, you know how the tradwives

are doing like their own weird little like house on the prairie bullshit? I'm doing like my boxcar children lifestyle where I was just kind of crusty all the time. My makeup's usually expired, but so she's gonna look like really on it today, like on her boxcar thing. You know what she's gonna look like really on it today, like on her. You know what she's gonna look?

She's gonna look fucking normal. Like I think- I guess so, that's true, yeah. We should normalize picture day being what you actually fucking look like at that age. And genius, it's a surprise. You don't know when it's coming. You don't know.

And also like picture day used to be a day before people had digital cameras and cell phones and you were getting pictures of yourself a hundred times a day. It was the one nice picture you got a year. That's true. And now we've got phones and the internet and everything. We take pictures all the time.

Now we've got picture mode, you know? Like, what of it? It was back when you had, if you were lucky, you had a camera at home. And this was maybe your one picture of your kid. You've got a hundred now, and you've got a hundred where she probably looks better. So-

Right, a professional photographer had to come in with his equipment, and then, and now it's like, oh no, my phone is the equipment. You don't really need all that stuff. Don't need it. Yeah. Yeah, so- Yeah. Picture day does not need to be what it used to be. It's, it'll be funny, cause they, like last year,

I got her pictures from picture day, and there she's like sitting on a little stool, and she looks so like gentle and adorable. And I'm like this. Yeah, it's untrue. It's not even real. Exactly, it doesn't represent reality. So in contrast, I can't wait to see what they will.

I would love to know what I actually looked like at three instead of how precious and angelic my photos make me look. I know I had chocolate sauce in my hair. Yeah, oh, and then Blake said, "'Kristin, I swear you can't see the paint we got in her hair last night. And I was like, honestly, I don't give a shit anymore. If she has green paint in her hair, what of it?

She's gonna love it one day when she is like her own little creative and she's gonna be like, look, my parents just kind of raised me as I was. And I said, love her. Dirty boxcar child. Yeah, she's gonna love it. She's gonna use it for her art.

So. Oh man, yeah. She also had really the grungiest fingernails because she keeps asking to paint them, but then she's too, I don't know where she gets from. She's too impatient to let them dry. And so then she just gets like dog hair all over them. It's so gross. Anyway, why do you drink?

Let's talk about how dirty my child is. She's not dirty folks, she's just messy. She's dirty. She's a toddler. She's an appropriate age for being constantly sticky. Right, just a sticky kid. Yeah, that's okay, she won't be sticky and then one day I'll love her more.

So why do I drink? Well, because I'm home. Hey Paws, you're the one who taught her to eat a tomato like an apple, so don't even start with me about how, oh, like you like your burger. Did she tell you that? She's already lying. She literally told me I eat them like apples.

Yeah, I know. And she's eaten them like apples since she was an infant, which I've just always attributed to somehow being related to you. Nope. She just maybe by osmosis. She, but I'll take the credit, I guess. I, but I did not teach her that. Okay. Well, I literally don't have children. I would have thought at this age, she can still choke on a tomato. So I would have not fed that to her. I don't think you ever fed it to her. I think I just one time either mentioned or there's just maybe osmosis, but yeah,

we've talked about this. She eats tomatoes like apples and the only person I know who does that is you. So I do ascribe that to you. Maybe we had that conversation when you were pregnant and she heard it from the womb and went, now that sounds pretty fucking good. She's like, now that's what I'll,

that's what I'll gather. She's like, get that's what I'll, that's what I'll gather from. She's like, get me out of here, I'm gonna give that a whirl. Yeah, that's the one thing I'll take from Funko-Lem. Yeah, well, yeah, there will be more. I drink, first of all, I'm in Fredericksburg, I'm in not even my own room, I'm in my step-siblings' room.

Why is it teal? Okay. Because it was their high school color. I thought it was yours, but it's not yours. No, mine was navy and hunter green. No, it would be. And they went to the public school. So their colors were different.

Ew. I'm just kidding. I know, yuck. Like everything in here talking about sticky. Wait, so wait, so wait, wait, wait. What does that have to do with the color of the room? It's the high school's color. Oh, they didn't really know what to do

and my mom was demanding that they design the room. Oh, so they made it teal as the, and that's the- They were like, I don't know, I go to this high school, that's these colors. So they just ran with it. Wait, were Navy and Hunter your school's colors? Yeah, I went to the private school and myself went to the public school where the colors were different. So you both colored your rooms based Hunter your school's colors? Yeah, I went to the private school and myself went to the public school

where the colors were different. So you both colored your rooms based on your school? Is that a thing? I didn't. Oh, I thought, no, that's what I'm saying was your room colors. Oh, my room is a beach with SpongeBob on the wall. You said blue and, I was very confused.

You said blue and Hunter green. I was very confused. Yeah, those were my school's colors. Their school's colors are teal. Oh, no, I was talking about the room being teal. And then you said mine was blue. And I said, was that your room? And you said, no, mine was blue and Hunter green.

And I was like, you don't mean your room. I thought you, when you said yours, I thought you meant my school. Why on earth would I mean that? But okay, great. So teal was their school color. Yours was not sponge. Your school was not sponge-rob themed. Your bedroom was sponge-rob themed, got it.

Yeah, but my room has become the storage closet of the entire family. So now not even a bed to lie on because it's, you know what? It's because I have one closet left in this house with stuff that I, or like my keepsakes. I still haven't brought over to California. And I have curated it. I've gone through this house a million times to make sure every single thing of mine was in that one closet. And I told my mom, I don't

care what you do with my room. Please do not touch that closet. Please don't touch it. Like it has, if you move things, I'm going to panic that something of mine is now missing. And I have to redo this, this hunt across the house for it. And of course I came here, every single thing is full of shit except the closet, which is incredibly empty, fully empty. So even like our recording equipment, I had to like, I have recording equipment here that was missing, I had to go find that.

And not only that, but the microphone was broken. So now I'm to go find that. And not only that, but the microphone was broken. So now I'm using a new microphone, and which is why this little windscreen is way too big for it. I was wondering. But it's, so my whole room is a mess and it was anyway. Why would you do that?

What did you want with your recording equipment? It's a piss me off, I don't know. But apparently it worked. So anyway, that's why I drink because my room doesn't even look like my room. And now I'm just like, I'm, I guess, squatting in other people's rooms because I'm in my step-siblings room to record.

I slept in my mom's bed last night. I've been sleeping on the couch before that. And I know my mom's gonna use this as like fodder one day for, well, I should do whatever I want with your room because you don't even use the bed when you come here. It's like you messed it up. So anyway, that's why I drink because it's- It's not the same.

It's not the same. I will tell you, this is the room I saw my grandpa in though. Oh, my God. Okay, I'm finding putting context to it. So was that your room before your other room? No, this is the guest room. Listen, I was an only child and we- Oh, you could sleep wherever you wanted, huh?

There was a lot of beds. I just kind of picked and chose. Wow, wow. And then you're like, I want the private school room. Thank you. Trust me, I know. I took a lot of unlearning. Let's put it that way, as I grew up.

But the story always went that I had a really bad dream in my room, so I ran into the guest room and slept in here. And this used to be the guest room. Oh, you had a bad dream, ran into this room, and then saw your grandpa? Oh, I didn't remember having a bad dream before the incident. I didn't remember that.

Remember I told you it was Monster from the Muppets? Like a little bit, but I think I've only heard that part of it like once or twice, but I've heard the main part so many times. I think I forgot the beginning. Yeah, no, so I ended up sleeping in here and that's where I saw him.

Oh, that's kind of a nice story. Yeah. Anyway, I haven't seen him yet, but I have seen a lot of dirty dishes in here. So just to give you an idea of who my step-siblings are. Last time I was here, we were cleaning their room because they were about to go to college. And I was like, I have to help you clean. This is disgusting.

And at one point they were like, it's not that bad. They lifted their pillow and a mountain of living ants. No. The pillow that they slept on. No, absolutely not. No. And they're like, it's fine. I was like, you have to be kidding me.

Even I with my boxcar child don't abide by that. That's too far, I'm sorry. So at every slight movement, I'm like, what was that? Forget it, yeah, an ant. Yeah. Anyway, so that's what's going on. I then from here I'm- I'm gonna start humming in the middle. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do By the way, it's a really good one. Really catchy. It's a banger. You know what the only song better

than the ants go marching is? What's that? Apples and bananas. This is classic. Classic. Can't go wrong, can't go wrong. And then of course the one that wronged me was Barney's version of pumpernickel bread.

Of course, can't forget her. I've never, never forgotten that. Never really, never really got over that trauma, huh? It's not chocolate bread as predicted, as it was assumed. As a German child knew full well that was whole rye pumpernickel, but. As a sugar coated American,

I thought brown bread was gonna be chocolate. Fucking sue me. Listen, I'm not doubting you. I promised my child would also feel the same, my boxcar baby. How about you go feed her some pumpernickel right now and tell her, Funklin said, you're gonna hate it. How about that?

Yeah, what if I just called it chocolate bread? I don't think that would work. That's what I thought Barney was up to. And then I ate it and I went, this fucking dinosaur's a liar. This fucking guy. Anyway, would you like to hear a story about a possession? Please, I would love nothing more.

It's moments like this week. It's been a wild week over here and I'm just like, man, sometimes I wish I'd be possessed. Just let someone else take the front seat or whatever. Jesus take the fuck, Satan take the wheel for like a minute. You know what I mean? Just like, uh, but yells above. Hop in the driver's seat, let me take a nap in the passenger seat, feet up on the dash. Come on. Speaking of Satan, being back in Virginia has been wild

because I have overheard so many homophobic comments. It's wild because when I lived here, I don't remember it being, excuse me, trust me, I've learned since, but like at the time I was like, I don't remember ever hearing anything racist. I don't remember ever hearing anything. Well, probably because we were saying it too, because we were just so stupid children.

Or also, I think because I was also gonna say, not only do I not remember hearing a lot of racist things, which in hindsight, I'm sure they were all about me, and I just wasn't- We just didn't catch on. My brain hadn't formed yet. But I also don't remember ever hearing anything homophobic. But in hindsight, I'm like, a lot of shit was homophobic. I just was straight passing.

So I wasn't having it directed at me. You didn't have it directed, and it wasn't relevant to you and you're like necessarily in your mind at the time. Wow. And it was still among me, but I think I was also like, I was so not even beginning my own journey with queerness that I wasn't even aware things around me were homophobic. Now in hindsight, holy shit.

But I definitely wasn't hearing as much as I now hear because I'm more on like high alert than I used to be. But I was- What have you heard? Oh, I heard someone. It was like, so... Let's put this way. I was in a situation where I could not speak up.

Okay. That's a bad start. Bad start. Why, let's just, let's put it this way. Everything's fine now. Tom, my stepfather was in the hospital this week. Yes. Everything's fine. Sorry, I did not mean to put you on the spot like that.

I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. But just so people are like, why weren't you in a position where you couldn't say anything? I couldn't say what I wanted to say because security would have escorted me out and I needed to be there for my stepfather. You know what I'm saying?

So I had to pick and choose. It's like life and death on the line, people. Okay. So one time we're wanted to say because security would have escorted me out and I needed to be there for my stepfather, you know what I'm saying? So I had to pick and choose. It's like a life and death on the line, people. So one time we're allowed to say we were stuck, yeah. I just kind of bit my tongue on this one because I was like, I... Sometimes you don't have a choice safety-wise, like health-wise, yeah. That's true. I would have certainly been able to take them because they were 95, but I... I would have loved to see that, come on.

But I also, I just didn't need to find out like how into like calling the police because they feel threatened or something, or calling security because I'm making a fuss or whatever it is. So I just, I let it go, but I did take it as really good drama. And I was like, I'm gonna listen to how fucking juicy

this homophobe is like talking about people. Wow. And they were, the whole family, it was a whole family. And they just had the thickest southern accents. And so I try not to be judgy of that because I know some people with really thick accents who were the most on the right side of history there's ever been. But then the second they said something a little fucked up, I was like, hang on, now I'm clocked in.

I'm going to listen to... Yeah. I was, I was, I was like, hang on, now I'm clocked in. I'm gonna listen to, I was, I was, I now, I'm gonna listen. Tune the dial, yep. I just listened to them specifically about trans people, of course. Well, of course. They were saying demonic, satanic, I can't believe people allow that. Demonic? I mean, oh, you have no idea.

Demonic was the main word they used. That just feels like, like lazy to accuse them of being demonic. That's lazy. I know. Boo. It's not even a good, like a good insult. Well, okay, so I've been here. I guess I just don't watch a lot of cable

or maybe in California. Okay, first of all, who watches cable? Go on. Hospitals. And so. 95 year olds. Well, so there was a lot of campaign ads coming through in between TV shows. The way that I didn't see a single bad one about Trump, which really freaks me out.

And all the ones about Kamala were like, it was like it was I thought, I mean, I, I'm so lucky to be in a place where it sounded crazy and no one actually believes this. But then I went to Virginia and I watched the people in the waiting room going, mm-hmm. Oh, God. But they were saying things like, Kamala's letting the dirty immigrants in and giving them sex changes.

And I was like, what? It's not funny, I know. I started giggling and I looked around and everyone else thought I was like a freak in the room. It just sounds so absurd. Anyway, so I listened to a whole family for like an hour talking about how evil trans people are. And I was just sitting there and I was like, you can't possibly be looking around the room

and wonder about me, but okay. Well, all right. Anyway, so that's another reason why I drink because I really wanted to just give this old bitch a right hook. Did you know? Yeah, you didn't know those people, right? They're not like in your family. No, no. Okay, okay. But I just listened to this give this old bitch a right hook. Yeah, you didn't know those people, right? They're not like in your family. OK, OK.

But I just listened to this family and I was like, oh, if we were anywhere else, if we were anywhere else and I was like, you're I mean, well, I'm sorry about that. Because I would have actually hit a 90 year old, but I certainly was like, I could take her in a verbal fight if you must. If if she struck first, you know, I mean, I should have been like, you're already in a hospital. How far you want to go? Yeah. You want me to like, you're already in a hospital, how far you wanna go here? Yeah, you want me to just carry you into the room,

into the hospital bed? That's fine. I love talking like I'm gonna beat up an elderly lady. I know, out of context, it's like, whoa, whatcha doing? And then it's like, well, she was also a senior citizen. I certainly would have done a verbal set of fisticuffs with her. Oh, I think you could have taken her for sure. For sure, for sure. I absolutely could have.

No doubt. And then what's she gonna do? Chase me? She's 95. Yeah, good luck with her fucking tennis ball walker. I'd like to see you try. I'm trying to just think of like ways I could insult an old person. I've never prepared for that. Yeah, me too. I know, right? It's like, wow, suddenly I'm ages. Like you have tennis balls. Yeah. Anyway, it was just I- You have tennis balls on your feet, you freak. I was like, I don't know what to say. But I could have certainly, you know, in a game of logic, I would have certainly demolished her.

Right, right. Yeah. That part's probably the easiest angle to take in this scenario. Her whole family was like that. And there were some that were my age and I was like, I, if I'm in the hallway with you, like what's going to happen? Am I going to have to- Get together.

Yeah. Yikes. Like you're scary now all of a sudden these people. Yeah. Well, I'm in the hallway with you like what's gonna happen am I gonna together? Yeah? Yeah, it's like you're scary now All of a sudden these people yeah, well, I'm sorry. I'm that sucks all that because you said the word demon Which I should have seen coming on a paranormal podcast. I don't even recall. Why did I say that? I don't know anymore because we're talking about a possession today got it So as we know Em likes to call me the crypt keeper Yes It's incredibly rude because the farther into the crypt you get, the harder it is to bounce back after a night of drinks and you know, I need my drinks.

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Somebody commented it already in the comments. So demons, not trans people. Although if you're in apparently my neck in the comments. So demons, not trans people, although if you're in apparently my neck of the woods. What's the difference am I right? What's it with trans people and demons these days? Oh wait, let me say it again. What's the difference am I right? I'm like just suddenly just bullying old people,

which is like probably like the most childish way to handle this, but I can't help myself. I mean, I fully encourage it. I'm so sorry. I don't care how old you are, you're shitty. You're shitty. You're shitty, you know? Especially like we were in like a surgery intensive care.

Right? Not the fucking time. like we were in like a surgery intensive care. Like it's like how did you fucking time? It's like, how did you find time in this while you're waiting for somebody to come out of like life or death surgery? That's what's important to you right now? Really? How are you finding ways to bring this up?

Maybe that fucking Kamala ad, I don't know. That really pisses me right off is what it does. It really grinds your gears. Really grinds my fucking gears, man. Anyway, apparently newsflash for the privileged people in Los Angeles, there are still shitty people out there and we're lucky to not have to see it all the time.

Ah! Okay, onto the possession. Please. This is the possession of Don Decker and he had a little stint on Unsolved Mysteries, ever heard of it? Yeah. And this is in 1983.

So in 1983, Don Decker was 21 years old. He was going through it. He was, apparently a lot of things had led up to this. They say he was on drugs, his family was dysfunctional. What we know currently is that he is now serving up to a year in say he was on drugs, his family was dysfunctional. What we know currently is that he is now serving up to a year in prison for stolen property charges. I don't know what the story there is. I wish I knew the drama. I do not, unfortunately. But just know that he was at the moment incarcerated. However, he was a candidate for furlough, which for people who don't know,

because I somehow still didn't totally know the actual definition of it, but it's just temporary release. Yeah. He was allowed to leave the prison for his grandfather's funeral. Uh-huh. And while he was released, he stayed with his friends, Bob and Jeannie, and he'd only known them for a few months.

So, I guess they weren't that close. I don't know, I feel like you have to be kind of close to trust somebody coming out of prison to just take them in. Maybe they're friends. I guess they weren't that close. I don't know, I feel like you have to be kind of close to trust somebody coming out of prison to just take them in. Maybe your friends? When you say he was, he's in prison for a year, do you mean now now or like in the story now?

In the story, sorry. Oh, I thought like now he's in prison today and I was like. Sorry, no. I was like, wow, this feels like we said the ending too soon, okay. I assumed you time traveled back with me to what is the present of the story. I did, but I was turned the wrong way.

So you had to turn my shoulders the other direction. I went, oh, got it. Okay, so now he's in prison. Now in the story he's in prison, then he gets furloughed, and then he goes to visit Bob and Jeannie. Yes. Okay. Yes. His friends.

He did not wanna stay with his own parents, even though he was released for his grandfather's funeral because he knew that his whole family would be reminiscing about his grandfather and how much they miss him and wanting to talk about all the good memories. But he actually fucking hated his grandfather. Oh, I love that he got furloughed for the funeral.

Me too. He was like, I'll do anything to get out, I guess. Do you think they ask you, like, were you close with him? Oh yeah. Just love the guy. It's like he raised me. Yeah. But no, he hated this guy because apparently,

since he was a little kid, the grandfather was like severely abusing him. God, okay. So a good reason to set a boundary for yourself and say, I don't want to be near people who are speaking fondly of him. Absolutely. Not my thing.

But so he goes to the funeral and that's kind of that part of the story. So he goes to the funeral, he now goes back to his friend's house and while he's on the second floor bathroom, he looks out the window and a face is floating outside the window. It's the second story.

So it's floating two stories up. Watching him pee pee? Watching him make little peeps. Oh God, what a creep. And laughing at him. two stories up. Watching him pee pee? Watching him make little peeps, yeah. Oh God, what a creep. And laughing at him. Grandpa? Oh, maybe it wasn't.

Well, see, we don't know who it was. Actually, Don himself did think it might be his grandpa. Oh. But he's not, he didn't say it in the moment when he saw the face, he was like, oh, that's grandpa. But he saw the face and in hindsight, he's like, I didn't say it in the moment when he saw the face, he was like, oh, that's grandpa. But he saw the face and in hindsight, he's like, I think this whole story is my grandfather abusing me one last time, essentially.

Okay. So he sees an old man's face floating outside the window. He's laughing, he's wearing a crown, which we learn nothing more about. The figure is wearing a crown? Yeah, I feel like that is something we should have. Hello, that feels important, yep. Is it a prince who's laughing at me?

Is it the prince of darkness? Like, is it Lucifer coming off the throne, you know? It's just, can you, it's actually kind of such an honor that he couldn't even take his- That's what I'm saying, his royal garments. Take his garments off, he just had to, he had to get to town and laugh at you. In that, I was at the Bengals game with my brother

the other day and I literally just said, you know how the emperor, the nude emperor, and he's like, what? And I was like, the nude emperor, he didn't have clothes. And he was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And I was like, the story of that naked guy. And I started screaming it, because I was so mad. And I said, haven't you heard about the emperor's new clothes?

And he goes, yeah, but I didn't like know the story. And I was like, it's about a naked emperor. Can you get with the fucking program? And he's like, it surely isn't about a naked emperor. I was like, no, it surely is. Anyway, he didn't believe me. So now I'm just all worked up about it. But yeah, it just strike me as something a little odd

to wear your crown to haunt somebody. I got into a similar argument with somebody who didn't believe that the Emperor's new groove was based on the Emperor's new clothes. Oh, I mean, I think I sort of knew that subconsciously, but I didn't really put it together until you just said it. Yeah, somebody was like, somebody was like, no, that's just similar by accident. No, no, no, I knew the name. Yeah, definitely.

Why else would it be called the Emperor's new blank? That doesn't make any sense. Yeah, no, no, no, I knew the name. Yeah, definitely. Why else would it be called the Emperor's New Blank? That doesn't make any sense. Yeah, no, no, no. Was it Alexander? Cause I'm really ready to clock him this time. If he's arguing this. It was actually that 95 year old little bitch with the tennis balls.

Honestly, as far as I'm concerned, they can both go down. Okay, great, perfect. So anyway, he sees maybe the Prince of Darkness, maybe the Emperor. Maybe that old-ass lady. And he goes downstairs, but apparently at this point, once he saw the face, he was acting really fucking weird.

It's almost as if the second their eyes connected, something switched. Uh-oh. He goes downstairs, his friends see blood on his arm. And casually, he's like, oh yeah, it was probably the man in the window. Which is, it's as casual as if you fucking said something. Like, because you would do that shit to me.

I sent you up a meme yesterday. I don't know if you saw it. Oh, I haven't opened it yet. No, I saw you sent something. It said, I'm kind of like those dogs that get hit by cars and then are totally fine. And are just turned the wrong way. And then Emma's just turning around and go, oh, that's the cars coming from that direction.

It's just like, OK, I don't know how you survived that. It's not a big deal. I don't know why you're harping on this. I don't know why you're. I think it's just embarrassing. Just like, stop talking about it. I don't want to go to the hospital. There's that crazy old lady there just in the waiting room.

And then you like two weeks later, you're like, I have a crack tip and I don't know how that happened. I can't figure out why all my teeth are falling out. Yeah, exactly. That sounds right. Okay, so he says, oh yeah, so it was obviously the man in the window who scratched me.

Standard. And his friends were like, what the fuck are you talking about? And soon he goes into a full blown trance like state. Uh oh. I wonder if they were like, well, we've only known him for a few months, maybe he's got like nar blown trance like state. Uh oh. I wonder if they were like, well, we've only known him for a few months. Maybe he's got like narcolepsy or some shit.

Yeah, and the wife is like, I fucking told you not to let him stay here. Like you, I swear to God, never again. I did wonder, I was like, the two friends at the end of the story were like, okay, we're not making any more friends for a while. No, it's just you and me. We're done with all these people.

Yeah. So Bob and Jeannie are like, okay, he just kind of like fell asleep in front of us. That's kind of crazy. But I guess we'll just sit here. But then they realized that all of a sudden the room had like a dripping water coming from the ceiling. And I think maybe at first they were like, okay, well, he just used the bathroom. Maybe the pipes are fucked up and now we have water damage upstairs.

Yeah. When I tell you that the ceiling was dripping, I mean, the entire ceiling was like raining. Ew! And they started watching this. They didn't know what to do. And they said that it was coming out kind of like mist, but there was so much that their entire room was getting drenched.

What the fuck? Bob and Jeannie call their landlord because they still don't think anything paranormal about this. They think it must be something with the house, which I don't know how you do that. I mean, honestly, I would- I think we would be more concerned that it was,

I feel like you'd, it seems almost scarier in the moment of like, is the roof about to fall in on me? Because something's leaking. Yeah, which like, I love that they didn't actually leave the house when they were waiting for their landlord to come over. They just got an umbrella, like they do just sit there. You just sit there and just let it drench you.

But imagine if it's raining outside too. And then you're like, well, fuck, now nowhere is safe. Well, what's interesting, actually, there would have been a safe spot because only this room in their house was doing this. Oh, okay, okay. So if they walked like two feet into the kitchen, it was dry as a bone.

Gotcha. So they called their landlord who I love this, his name is Ron Van Wye, like Wye, W-H-Y. Like for why, you know? And he obviously didn't know what was going on either. He was like, I'm just a fucking landlord. Can you imagine being a landlord? Yuck, first of all.

But also then you walk around and you're like, the room is raining from the inside and I'm supposed to fix this. Right. Landlord school did not prepare me for this. Yeah. It made no sense. My water would be coming from those spots. He confirmed there were no pipes in those parts of the house.

And that's when Ron noticed that it wasn't just water falling down. It was also seeping up and going sideways. Huh? Water was fully defying gravity. What the fuck? They said they remember a droplet literally going past them, like like a movie where like the bullet is going slow motion. And they're just like, what the fuck do we do? So all three of them are freaking out.

I just I like to imagine they're just like, what the fuck do we do? So all three of them are freaking out. I just, I like to imagine, I, they're, obviously this is not the scenario, but the way I envision it in my head is they're all kind of gay squealing. There's like, ah! Like, did you see that? Ah! But they're making such a fuss,

regardless of how it sounds, they're making such a commotion that the, there's a restaurant owner nearby, she's walking down the street and she hears them. So she runs into the house being like, what's going on? She's in there now also gay squealing with them. They call the police, three officers come in, they're gay squealing about this.

Like everyone's fully fucking panicking, like nobody knows what to do. So now there's like seven people in there, and of course Don is just like unconscious on the couch, unaware of all this. Has nobody shaken him to be like, dude, you have to see this. You're getting soaking wet. You're laying in the rainstorm.

I know. Anyway, so there's a bunch of people around this sleeping trance-like man, all freaking out about the water going sideways. They don't know what to do. And Pam, the restaurant owner across the street, she said, let's all just go to my restaurant owner across the street, she said, let's all just go to my restaurant.

I like it, she's like, let me make some money out of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not on the house to be clear, everybody. She's like, let's all go to the restaurant, let's just sit down for a second and like talk this out and figure out what's going on in your house. Which I do love the sense of community here where everyone's like, let's rally together and discuss.

There's a safe space over here, yeah. So they all go to the restaurant and as they're trying to figure it out, Pam is on top of it. Pam is like, that's fucking demonic for sure. And just to prove it, I don't know if it was intentional at first, but she said it was demonic.

She had a rosary with her and she just put it on Dawn because she was like, it's weird that he slept through that whole thing and we were freaking out loud enough that he should have woken up. Yeah. So she puts a rosary on him while they're at the restaurant

and he kind of wakes up from his trance, rips it off of him and throws it on the ground and says, that was burning my skin. Oh, yeah. He's probably like, why did you put hot tongs on me? And they're like, that was not a fucking barbecue grill. That was a rosary. Yeah.

No, thank you. So anyway, so they go from that point, Pam is like, yeah, something's fucking demonic. I called it immediately. I clocked that shit. You need to call a church. Right as she said, we need to go to the church or you need to call the church or something about calling a priest. All of a sudden, Don kind of went back into his trance

and her restaurant started dripping water everywhere. No. Yeah, not good. I like how it was not the rosary that did it. It was her suggesting that a priest get involved. Which I do kind of love the fire and ice equivalent of like, oh, it's burning you and also water. I kind of like that too, that's cool.

I don't know what it means though. And I've never heard of a demon whose only superpower they give you is mist. And not in like the spooky way either, like water. You know? It's just rain. Yeah. Anyway, so she said, okay, you need to call a church.

And then her ceiling started raining. And she was like, now you have to also leave my restaurant because you're giving me water damage. So they, Don and his friends go back to the friend's house. And when they get there, they realized that, like it had been evaporating. As soon as they left, the water went away. So as soon as Don was out of the room, the water was no more. And Ron and his wife,

who by name, by the way, her name is Romaine. So Romaine Van Wye. I love that. What a great name. Sounds like it's from like a Transylvania. Romaine Van Wye. Yeah, it's really nice. It's really nice. Romaine Van Waaay. Yeah, it's really nice. Well, Ron and Romaine, the husband and wife pair, they're still there as the landlords trying to figure out what happened here, but the water has evaporated so they never even got to take pictures of what was going on, which becomes a thing for skeptics later. They're like, nobody took a fucking picture. But also it was 1983. No one had a cell phone.

1983, yeah. Nobody's thinking, oh, immediately snap a fucking picture. But also it was 1983, no one had a cell phone. You know? 1983, yeah, nobody's thinking, oh, immediately snap a picture of this, yeah. No, that's become an impulse thought now. That was the day when school pictures were still important, remember? It was, yeah. It was like, well, we have one good picture and no camera, so.

Sorry. Just remember it with your brain. Yeah. So they're trying to fix the pipes, Don and his friends come back in, and right away, as soon as Don walks in, it starts raining again. So it's whatever room he's in. The ceiling starts dripping and when they start freaking out and being like, is this a prank?

You have to tell us because we're really getting freaked out. That's when the pots and pans in the kitchen start clanging like crazy. And then Don is lifted off the floor by nothing and is thrown backwards into the wall. And he's thrown with the force, with a force as if he were a newborn baby and this was the strongest man in the whole wide world. Like he was rag dolled into the wall.

The police come back, but the police are like, what the fuck am I going to do about this? So they're just fascinated, but there's nothing they can really do. They bring the chief with them this time, because I think I imagine at like the police headquarters that day, the three who came in and saw it raining sideways were like, chief, oh my God, it's amazing. And the chief was like, I have three wackadoos on my course. Yeah, now I got to rehire everybody and fire you. Yeah.

So come check it out for yourself. So the chief did come with them because he's like, I got to see this. And now they're being called back to the house. I have to go. He goes, he wants no fucking part of this. He even tells his officers, don't involve me in this anymore. Don't write a report about it. I don't ever want to hear you mention this ever again.

And I don't know if it's because he was freaked out or if it's because he was just like a stubborn man who didn't want to believe that this was anything but a hoax. Right. It could be both maybe like he's like, Nope, nope, nope. Gotta stick with my preconceived notions. It could be any of that. But he basically told his officers, I want nothing to do with this. And as my as my employees, you were also not allowed to be doing anything about this.

You have to go work on real police stuff. Right. All three of the officers are like, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. And then the chief leaves and goes back to the office and the three officers stay behind and they're fucking losing their minds. They're geeking out over this.

They are so obsessed with this case. They even came back with a crucifix to see, like they'd heard that one of them burned him. So they're like, can you hold this and see if it burns again? So he holds it and then he throws it on the ground. He's like, ah, burn my hand. And when they went to, when one of the officers went to grab the crucifix again, it was like they said, very hot to the touch as if it had just been burning. Oh, intriguing. One of them even came up with the idea to put a bag on his head, to put a bag on Dawn's head,

to make sure that the water wasn't coming from him spitting across the room, because his only thought was the only water I've ever seen move horizontal is when it comes out of someone's mouth. So maybe you're spitting, but also the whole place is drenched. It's like you only have so much spit in your body.

What about a fucking hose, but all right, I guess spit makes water go sideways too. I kind of got the vibe that these three officers were like newly on the force and just like kind of- They're probably given like the dumb story, like, oh, they're saying there's water leaking from the ceiling. That's on you rookie cops to go handle, you know?

I feel like they were kind of, they had frat boy energy and they were just like, I don't know what this is. And they were just trying to test it however they could, but didn't totally think at all. Put a bag on his head. Put a bag on his head. I guess, I guess we can try it. You might as well try everything if nothing makes sense.

So anyway, they were very obsessed with it, but the room still obviously kept misting even with a bag on Dawn's head. And the officers didn't really have anything they could do. They were just like, I don't know, man, good luck. Like, I mean, what would you do at that point? So Don was even concerned now that the police were saying there was nothing to be helpful.

The landlord said there was nothing that they could do. And Don did try to reach out to local churches and he did have to put the caveat, remember, like I'm on furlough, so like I can only be helped for a certain amount of days and then I'm going back to jail. So if you want to help me, it has to be like now. And of course, every single priest turned him away. This is where I finally get to say after a long hiatus, thanks priests. Hey, the priest turned away. Thanks a fucking lot. And his friends were able to find at least one preacher who would pray over Don.

And the praying actually made Don convulse in a fetal position. Oh no. And he said that afterwards his body felt more relaxed and it seemed to work, but when Don's furlough was up and he went back to prison, he was just sitting there in a cell thinking about what had happened in the last few days. And like, if he had this ability, and if he could do it again, how would he be able to like manifest

that to prove that it really was something within him? And as he was just thinking that, it began to rain in his jail cell. I knew it. I was like, when's it gonna start raining? Oh my God. And of course his cellmate is like, get me the fuck out of here. What the fuck? Somehow the scariest thing that guy's probably seen in jail.

He like really was begging the CEOs to like let him out of the room. He was so freaked out. And the prison even assumed that Don must have messed begging the CEOs to like let him out of the room. He was so freaked out. And the prison even assumed that Don must have messed with the pipes in the walls or like damaged his cell to cause some sort of leak. Like they did not believe that. I mean, why would you believe that? So they're like something you've, you've done something structural to this place for this to be happening,

but Don insisted he was just in control of the rain. And when they told him to prove it, he made all of the officers offices rain. Wait, he could control it. Ooh, intriguing. Okay. I guess just to prove that he could, or they were like, Oh, I bet you can't. And he was like, I mean, I just did it over there. That's why we're having this conversation. But okay. And one, uh, one officer was even in a separate office doing paperwork.

And so he is doing paperwork by himself. Other officers who have already seen this whole thing happening, but like things are now raining from the indoors, they've run in to tell him, they're like, Hey, stop doing your paperwork. You have to, you have to come see this. And he was like, what's going on? The other officers pointed his shirt and they're like, you're literally drenched with water. How did you not, did you not feel that? Are you serious?

He's just sitting there getting rained on. He's like, what's going on out there? He had no idea. I guess he was just that into his paperwork. So focused. But then all of a sudden he realized he was covered in water and he was like, what the fuck's going on? And I'm sure the other officers left the room at that point

going, it's happening in here too. Like like he's totally he's totally wet with water um so the chief of police is like oh my god hurting cats around here you know I literally said never mention this again and now the entire jail is talking about this uh the officers swore to him that Don was controlling the rain in his cell and now in all of our offices. And while explaining that, while these officers were talking to each other, a large blob of water floated through the hall around the corner towards the officers and splashed them. Stop. This feels like Slimer from Ghostbusters or something.

I was going to say, it feels like a silly movie, like a paranormal movie. It's like a blob coming to get you. Totally. Flubber or something. This feels like it cannot be real. But crazy. So the more skeptical officers, they were like, well, what do we do?

We can't tell him to leave, because he's literally in prison. Yeah, yeah, we could tell him to leave, but like, no. Yeah, or like, do we just put him in like the, do we lock him up in a shower where it's supposed to be wet all the time? Oh, right, yeah, just sit in the shower. But also if he can control it,

then he could probably send it down the hall, you know? Right, and also like think about the long-term effects. Think of how like pruney all your skin's gonna be if it's just always raining wherever you are. And like, you don't even know if it's like clean water or like, I don't know. Yeah, where is he getting the water from? Yeah, like I would love for them

to do scientific tests on the water. I do too, I'm curious. Is he just take, you know how like frozen from the Incredibles, he's accessing water that's nearby? Like he's using water from the water fountain or whatever. Like what if you're in the bathroom? Are you just using bathroom toilet water? Like is there a drought in town?

Are you able to fix that if there is a drought? You know, are you able to add water to the world? It's like that running question of like, could Spider-Man be Spider-Man in an area without buildings or trees? Cause you can't shoot your webs. You can't swing on anything. Interesting.

Like you just have to do, like if you're in a field, how do you be Spider-Man? You just run, you can't swing. Just run. So it's like, what if you're in an area with nothing? But I guess, could you access water from the ground, like a frog or something? From the air, like just any humidity in the air, yeah.

With enough focus, could you channel your power to eventually like shift clouds and and be involved with the weather? Like there's a storm, could you make a storm? Yeah. Oh. So many questions. We would be the most fucking annoying people at any of these investments.

We'd be like, wait, we have like four, we only have one more question, except it's a 600 part question. So give us a minute. That's actually hysterical. Yeah, could you recycle your own sweat? You know what I'm saying? Like tears drool.

Could you never drool again? Could you prevent water? Just like how you can create water. Can you make sure that nobody, that you don't get wet? Like, can you make like a little dry patch or, you know? Can you always refill your own bottle? Oh, can you drown someone? Like are you able to kill somebody? From? Like are you from the inside out? I mean, if you can do it from an inside a room,

you can technically do it from inside a human, right? It's raining in my soul. That's actually such a scary superpower. Once you think about how, if he learned how to master it, what would be, what do you be controlling the air? Like you shouldn't be able to do that. And water can feel like bullets. I mean, it can feel like concrete if you jump on it from too far up or like if you're jet skiing too fast and it hits in the eyes. Yeah. Certainly, certainly if you're torturing somebody. Okay, let's get back

to this. So, okay, the the more skeptical officers again, they're like, we can't release him, he has to be here. So what do we do? And they're like, I guess we call a plumber and see what he's got going on because he's probably more quick than us. The plumber walks in, I guess senses something, walks straight back out and he goes,

don't ever call me again. What? I'm assuming he saw the room where water was going sideways. He didn't explain himself? No. Oh, man. I imagine he just saw water in all directions

and he was like, I can't fucking control that. Yeah, fuck this. This was the moment that Don no longer felt scared, but powerful of his newfound abilities. And also powerful in general, because apparently the abuse he suffered during childhood from his grandfather He said if he always wanted to be able to fight off that kind of evil

So he was taking this as like a sign that he now had a superpower. Oh, so it's like his grandfather died and he like Got the superpower Especially because if you think about the old man face in the window It's like he died you went to the funeral and then maybe you saw him in the window and now you've got this thing going on. Freaky. So the plumber was like, nope, I don't want to do this. So the officers decided to also try checking out like priests or a reverend or someone to come visit. And Reverend Blackburn agreed to meet with Don, who believed that Don was just acting up. Okay, sure. Thanks, Dad. Again, thanks, Priest.

Yeah, thanks, Priest. Oh my God. So he told Don that the easiest thing he could do at this point is just admit that he staged the whole thing. And if you're talking to me or Christine, you'll hear different versions of this, but the jig is up. The jig is up.

The gig is up. The gig is up, all right, everybody relax. Don said, oh, I'm staging this whole thing. Oh, really now? Really? So he raised his hand and began to rub his thumbs and fingers. It's like he's learned his motion now. Yes, like Spider-Man.

Like he has like a certain, oh my God. So he raises his hand and rain comes from the ceiling and the walls. And what's super interesting about this that nobody else had clocked yet is that when the Reverend experienced this, he realized that as the water was being conjured, he smelled something. And he was like, I think this is where he believed that Dawn was connected to something malevolent. because when the water was being conjured or he was accessing this other world he smelled the smell of a terminal patient right before they die. Hello? What a weirdly creepy specific thing. Which I also wonder if that was a smell maybe

his grandfather was giving off right before he died or something. Yeah, I wonder. That's really kind of- Or if he's just like into like necromancy, some sort of something, I don't know. But- That's really disturbing. He was like, apparently he's also been around that enough where he knows the smell. So if you're a Reverend maybe-

I know, I guess he does a lot of last, yeah. Something like that where he would know the smell. But like, I have to imagine that's a very distinct smell, kind of like hospital is a very, you know. And when you're used to that, you probably are able to like pinpoint it. I guess so, cause also like, I know the smell of death, but I don't know the smell specifically

of a terminal patient right before the death. Yeah, that's a very, it seems like a very specific, specific one. That does sound like only doctors and people who give last rites would know what that smells like though. Who spend a lot of time in hospice or yeah. So after noticing that, the rain got heavier and began to seep into the room.

Okay, how scary that it's after noticing it. That's so scary because it's almost like your mind shifts a teeny bit. You can't even control it. You're just like, wait, I know that. And then it's like- It's like the energy was intelligent to what you knew. Yes, ooh, that's so freaky. So the reverend is like, wait, I know that. And then it's like... It's like the energy was intelligent to what you knew. Ooh, that's so freaky.

So the reverend is like, oh shit, he opens up his Bible. And the pages, interestingly, always stayed dry, despite everything else in the room being wet. Shut up. I literally have chills. That's so freaky. I do too! I wasn't gonna say it because I felt like a nerd going to Catholic school, bitching about it for 20 years

and then being like, I have chills about the Bible. But that's freaky. That is freaky. You know, the Lord works in mysterious ways, as they say. That's what they say. Oh, by the way, while we're here, sorry, intermission. We have done intermission to talk about the Lord. Hold on.

Let's go to the lobby. So okay, here's what I have to say about the Lord. You're not going to like it. Well, you'll like it. I'm not going to like it. Uh-oh. Two different things. One, I have a- Em just sent a bunch of balloons into the- Em did a number two peace sign and like, it was like, oh, okay, time to celebrate. Send balloons into the screen, which is very funny

because Em texted me and Eva the other day and said, hey, just so you know, my mom learned how to add screen effects to her texts. So if you get a text from her with a screen effect, just be prepared. And she did send one with balloons. And now here you are, Em, accidentally sending balloons. I feel like it runs in the family.

Well, as you say that, I will, I'll change my two things to three things. Number one, Christy and Eva were very sweet. They sent my whole family New York bagels and a whole lot of yummy treats this week. And the bagels are already gone. You sent them two days ago. That was an Eva idea.

I was very, I was like, Eva, you nailed it, nailed it. The bagels are gone. Good, as they should be. And also, you happened to pick the store that my mom has a lot of childhood memories from. That felt very special, yes, yes. Number two, I have a friend that I was very close with in college,

and while I'd been home, they didn't know it was while I was home, but I was texting them because they have recently fallen into very intense evangelicalism. Whoa. Yeah, so trying to navigate that, it's not looking good. Uh-oh. I just said something,

something came up where it was an inside joke about us from college way before this was part of their life. I was like, oh, just thinking of you. I got, I tried to get, well, I didn't, she tried to fucking save me in the text and asked if I wanted to learn more about her Christ. And I went, Oh my God. Okay. So that tells me exactly what I need to know about that. No thanks. And then the third thing about the Lord, Oh, the place where we're currently renting a Walker from where so Tom currently needs a Walker. He's going to be fine.'re currently renting a walker from where so Tom currently needs a walker. He's going to be fine. He currently needs a walker with tennis balls with tennis balls. He's also

95 and he said a lot of transfer but it's just me in the waiting room. And he's also an old lady. Wait a minute. If he pulled the mask, he was just like, hang on, hang on. He, so I had to go to this place to get a walker. And one of the things I had to do to sign out a walker was write down my testimony of the Lord. Wait, pardon? It was the most anti-LA thing I've ever experienced. Excuse me? Wait, okay.

Where were you? It was a place that gives you medical equipment. Why? I don't know. I don't have an answer for you. Okay. I don't have an answer for you. But they asked me what works the Lord has done for me this week.

And I was like, well, I've been in a hospital all week, so not much. I know, for real. Like, hello? I'm getting a walker. Things aren't great right now. Thanks a lot. Anyway, Virginia is like the bad place. Hey, what's going on over there, my friend? I'm in Kentucky and things aren't so dire, you know?

It's the bad place currently. At least the spaces I've been in. So that's what the Lord has taught me this week. Yeah, I was gonna say, maybe I'm just used to being at home all the time. Maybe I should just stay home all the time, you know? I feel like this doesn't seem like really... Between the campaign ads, that little old stupid woman

and this hospital and then the random text asking if I wanted to be saved, I was like, I gotta go back home. This is crazy. You gotta get out of here. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, that was its own whole reason why I drank. That's bananas. Okay, intermission's over. Back to the Lord in this way. I'm in a sweatshirt.

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I got the fisherman style crop button up also. That is my new favorite. It's super cute. It looks fashionable, but it's also very cozy and it was very affordable. And Quince is known for their Mongolian cashmere sweaters starting at $50. And in fact, all Quince items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. It's girl mouth at its finest. And you know, I love they partner with top factories, cut out the middle man. They only work with factories that use safe and ethical manufacturing practices, which is super cool.

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Oh, we should have told them that. I know, my friend who texted me would probably be like, see? Told you. So the Reverend prayed over dawn with his very dry Bible. It's usually dry and nevermind. Okay, so he prayed over dawn. I see you, I. So, he prayed over Dawn and- I see you, I see you.

He prayed over Dawn. Eventually the rain actually did stop and I know I'm talking a lot of shit right now about the Lord, but whatever this reverend did actually did work. So, the rain stopped after enough prayer. They didn't say how long. I'm always curious if it's hours or minutes.

Right, me too. Or those really old stories where it's like, we prayed for days and we all took shifts holding them down. 40 days and 40 nights, yeah. And I'm always curious, I would love to know the number. I feel like numbers are more important that we give credit. Maybe it was symbolic, you know? I don't know.

Yeah, totally. I feel like the water was symbolic and I don't know how, but maybe it's like anti-holy water. I don't know. I don't know how, but I'm gonna come up with some possible ideas. You know, I love to think and yap. Think maybe, well, yap anyway.

At least yap. Yap for sure. Don was actually relieved from this ability situation after enough prayer with this reverend. Okay. He then, I guess, completed his sentence and was released, but nothing else happened in the prison, which I feel like he probably got made fun of

after it was over. I feel like there was some inside joke. There had to be a joke, or like a nickname at the very least, right? Like some sort of nickname. Rain Man? Someone needed, they literally call him Rain Man. No, they don't.

It's depending on who or what source, it's either Rain Man or Rain Boy, but yes, you're onto it. I guess the movie hadn't come out yet, so I don't think that would have been that source of it, but Rain Man is good. You know there was someone who, if they needed a cup of water, they'd be like, fill me up. Like they would say something.

Oh, it would be so annoying. It's so annoying, yeah. Oh my God, shut up. Anyway, he completed his sentence. There are to this day, nine witnesses in interviews and televisions who swear that all this was legit. The only eyewitness to deny anything

was that police chief who was a real dry blanket. Dry blanket. Wait, wet blanket, shit. He was a real wet blanket. He was a dry blanket. The other nine were dry. Everybody else was a wet blanket, yeah. The irony, the only way he was wet in the story

was as a blanket. So. Wow. But officers, the three who like swear that they saw all of it and they were like freaking out when they went into the house, they still say all that shit happened. One of them even was quoted recently saying, I saw it. That's all there is to this. Damn.

And one of the nine witnesses say that this was not possession, but a stress induced telekinesis. Okay. Um, that's as realistic to me as a possession. So... Uh, actually, I find that more realistic. You do? Yeah. Explain yourself. Speak on that. Well, I don't know. I think telekinesis, things like that are, I believe in them.

And so I think, like, you can access that kind of power. I don't necessarily believe in a Christian demon. So I'm like, well, I kind of lean toward, like, some other metaphysical reason. I wonder if, like, what was, I wonder what the stress was that induced this, because if it was just that, like, your, your, I guess his abuser just died.

If your abuser dies and you're, like, coping, you're, like, also out of prison for two days, and, like, it's for this kind of scary, horrific milestone event, yeah, I imagine it would be probably pretty overwhelming. Well, only one of them said anything about it being stress induced, but I did think that was interesting

because I don't know where he stood religiously before about being possessed. I mean, I guess it doesn't matter what you believe in anyone. In my mind, I think anyone can be possessed. Like we all know how I feel about the Lord and I think I could be possessed, you know? So, I don't know. I guess it up to any anyone's opinion on what actually happened. There's no True theory that works about like the structure of the house or the jail or the restaurant

Um, it's just too weird to explain. It's an unsolved mystery some might say I guess so And so this was on unsolved mysteries, too It was I think season 15. Oh, I want to watch that. That would be interesting to see how they covered it. And skeptics often say, oh, I already said this, like why don't they have any pictures of it? But nobody had a camera around like that back then. And, uh,

Don apparently not only levitated the one time I mentioned, but he was, he allegedly levitated multiple times and was scratched. One of the times the scratch was in the shape of a cross. Ooh, okay. That gives you a little indication, huh? Yeah. So anyway, he was featured 10 years after the incident on Unsolved Mysteries and became known as either Rain Man or Rain Boy based on the source you look at. And years after that, we never really hear much about him again. But in 2012,

he was back in jail because he was arrested on federal arson charges. Oh, no. Fire, water, kind of weird. I literally put that. I was like, that's so interesting because the apparently he was hired by restaurant owners to burn down their restaurants for the insurance money and he cut it and it's like, interesting that you're burning things down and like, had you still have your ability, you could have put the fire out at the same time. Honestly, you could have been like, nevermind. I don't wanna go back to jail, I'll fix it.

In our big listicle of all the things you could do with this power, we didn't even consider the ways you could be a superhero and put a fucking fire. Save the world. Well, I said drought, I said you could fix a drought. That's true, you did. Everyone would have clean drought. I said you could fix a drought. That's true. You did. Everyone would have clean water. I mean, do you know a filtration process?

Somebody drink it first to test it, then we'll try it out. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what would happen if he drank the water he conjured. Would he become twice as powerful? Or would it just taste bad? Would it taste good? I don't know. I have a lot of questions. I feel like it would taste a little metallic. I don't know why.

Isn't that weird? Because I also had the same thought. And I don't know if it's because it's like in jail coming from metal bars. Maybe I'm like thinking, or pipes, you know, maybe I'm- See, I was thinking like, how when you're outside and it kind of smells like outside or like sweat. Something kind of like iron or pennies.

Chemically, yeah, iron smell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so he went back to jail in 2012 and the arrest briefly renewed interest in the case because people were reporting about all these restaurants catching on fire and then you find out it's like an insurance thing and then, oh, this guy was on Unsolved Mysteries because he was possessed by a demon who let him make things rain. You can't escape that. You can't.

And so people, they re-brought up that news, which is why there are some more recent interviews from people about whether or not it was real. But yeah, something was going on there. I don't know. Bob and Jeannie's house, which has since been torn down, apparently had stains on its walls for the rest of time. Oh no. That they couldn't get out. Which feels like water damage, but we're just calling it stains. And one skeptic believes that the best guess he can come up with is that snow melting on the roof might have seeped into the inside of the walls and caused intense condensation.

That's the best anyone's ever been able to come up with. But eyewitnesses say that what they saw was not of this world. Yeah, nice try. And also then like explain the jail, but whatever. Right. Anyway, that is the possession of Don Becker. I cannot believe I've never heard of this. It feels like, especially as an Unsolved Mysteries viewer, but I haven't watched every episode. So I guess I better start all the way from the beginning and watch every single episode again. Uh-oh. That's how I feel about Marishko. And I'm like, oh, we've come to the end. What do I do? So I guess I better start all the way from the beginning and watch every single episode again. Too bad.

Too bad for me. That's how I feel about Marishka when I'm like, oh, we've come to the end. What do I do now? I guess we start over. Isn't that the nicest feeling when you have a show where you're like, actually, I can just watch this again. And not feel.

Speaking of 1983, you couldn't fucking do that. I know. Maybe a video, maybe if you had a video, but then you had to watch the one thing over and over again. You have to rewind it. Who the fuck has the time for that anymore? Not I, Jedi. Not I, Jedi.

Well, good story, Em. That was a doozy, you know? Thank you. I have one for you that is also a doozy and is one that I've been wanting to cover since 2022. And I know the specific date because I heard this on Casefile in 2022. And I remember thinking,

I cannot wait to blow Em's mind with this one someday. I'm so excited. And here we are. Okay, this is the story of Marie Hilli. All right, now let's just jump into it because it's topsy turvy. So in 1980, 47-year-old Marie Hilley vanished without a trace from a hotel in Alabama.

The only lead in the case was a kidnapper's note that warned investigators not to pursue them. The note was a dead end, not a single other clue pointed in any direction where Marie might have been taken. Now, we go a little, like, speaking of rewind, hit the rewind button. We're going to go five years earlier after the tragic death of her husband, her two adult children were left to console each other, wonder what had become of their mother. Now she's missing and this family basically it seems can't catch a break.

After she disappeared from the hotel room, it took about three years before they had any answers. Oh shit, okay, it's a long time. It was a long time. So Marie Hilli was actually born Audrey Marie Frazier in June of 1933. She was born in Blue Mountain, Alabama, and if you heard that you may have caught 1933, we're talking Great Depression, not a fun time to be grown up if you were impoverished, which so many people were. And so she had a tough early childhood as many people did,

but she was one of those people that you meet, and I don't know, I'm sure we both know people like this, but somebody who like almost like a compulsion, needs to have luxury, needs to, wants something. That's half my family, my friend. I wasn't gonna say names, but, you know, even though they're not in that class, they're like, I don't care if I don't have the means for it.

I want to be. Well, there's a lot of people, I feel like we all know like some shitty guy from our high school who like grew up to like pay for like the fanciest car and looks really swanky like at the club, but like his apartment is totally empty. Like it's like he's only buying the things for the attention, but then at the end of the day,

he can't like afford rent. Exactly, it's like a status symbol where it's more important than just being able to like pay rent or live your day-to-day life. Exactly. And so she was that kind of a person. She aspired to quote the finer things in life and not just aspire, like she ached for them. Like she was desperate to be a class above

where she was born. And any spare money her family had, they kind of used to spoil her because she wanted these things so badly that when they had the money, they do of used to spoil her because she wanted these things so badly that when they had the money, they doed it on her. Any spare money they had would indulge Marie's kind of ideals of ideas of these luxurious, this luxurious lifestyle. So she kind of turned herself into a sort of perfect Southern belle, you know, she always had her hair done. She,

her makeup was always flawless. And I have, I, like, to give credit, I have heard of people who grow up in kind of a traumatic, impoverished situation and then grow up wanting to feel in control of like, oh, I look nice, I have clean clothes. So, you know, that's a different thing. I'm not, I'm not trying to, um, you know, uh, cast aspersions, but...

Not all rags to riches stories are bad. Yes, exactly. And it's not all, it doesn't all stem from a terrible place, but you know, there's. But this one. But this one, yeah, it's a little different. At least maybe you can decide for yourself. Okay, so her hair was always done,

her makeup always flawless. She was always like wearing new clothes, latest fashions. And so other young women in her town were like very envious of her and that's what she wanted, you know? So in high school she met a man named Frank Hilly and just like Marie, Frank was very popular, very well liked in town, and so they got married in 1951 and together they moved to Anniston, Alabama. They had their first baby in November of 1952 and that was a son named Michael who went by Mike. And Marie, at the time, worked for powerful, wealthy members of the Anniston community,

who found her very charming, very stylish. She almost ingratiated herself into their circles by working for them. She kind of knew what she was doing. She's very much a social climber. Is that what you say? Social climber? Yeah. Yeah. Social climber. Climb the social ladder. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So despite being their employee, like I said, she kind of ingratiated herself into their group and she thrived in it. That was like her, her bread and butter. So the connection she made gave her family some advantages, both socially and business wise. And in January of 1960, they had their second baby and this was a daughter named Carol. So the Hillies enjoyed their lives in Anniston.

They were financially comfortable. They were very respected locally and things seemed pretty damn smooth until the mid 1970s when Frank developed a mysterious illness. Do you need to hire someone ASAP, STAT, Vominos, let's go? Do you? Well, me? I mean, I thought you were talking to the listeners. Here's what I need to tell you folks.

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So appointment after appointment with different doctors were inconclusive and Marie cared for Frank at his bedside. The whole family prayed for answers. She played the doting wife perfectly, but Frank just deteriorated. His health got so bad that he was admitted to the hospital. She actually, I think one night went out, found him in the front yard, just standing there. And he had almost, he was so sick he couldn't even tell where he was.

And they ended up bringing him into the hospital. He had bloodshot eyes, ash and skin. He could barely function. His body was shutting down. He died just two days later at only 45 years old. And when they did an autopsy, they determined he had succumbed to hepatitis, which was a little odd. They weren't sure where he had gotten it from. And the entire family was hit hard by the loss. But 15 year old Carol, his daughter, was especially traumatized by this. She was very, very close with her

dad. Her dad used to take her on daddy daughter adventures. They would go to the local Elks club and he would brag about her to all his friends. He was just very proud of her and they had a very close relationship. However, her mother didn't like her very much. Oh, God. Okay. They had always had a kind of butting heads type relationship, especially, and think about this, Carol was very much a tomboy, a self-described tomboy. She didn't like to wear fancy clothes.

She didn't like to do her hair. She didn't like makeup. And so her mom was like, what is wrong with you? Like, this is all I care about. And now my own daughter doesn't give a shit about like looking the part, you know? I will say, in there. I know, I know.

Again, not to name names, but wow, this does kind of sound familiar. Yeah, so exactly. She didn't, Marie did not care for Carol, her own daughter, nor did she care for her hobbies, her friends. She just was like, this is not my daughter. This is not the kind of daughter I was hoping to raise. And Carol later said in an interview,

I couldn't please her no matter what I did. So it was just one of those. So it basically, I'm saying that to tell you that it hit Carol extra hard when her father died. So according to one source, Marie became convinced at one point that Carol, her daughter, was a lesbian and she fucking hated it.

She fucking hated it. How many times in a row can I say that? Listen, do you wanna just create a button on the mixer that just says, same girl, same girl or something? Did you do the thing where the name is actually my name but it's just an anagram or something? This is the story of Cletus, what was it? Oh yeah, Carol was, according to her mother,

Carol was a lesbian and this was not great for Marie. So Marie would randomly aggressively lash out at any of Carol's female friends, like whether there was a label on it or not. And in the wake of Frank's death, Mike, the older brother, who was 23, took a job as a minister and moved to Florida with his wife. So now it's just Marie and Carol living together.

Stuck together. Yeah. And they moved into a new home in a middle-class neighborhood that they purchased with Frank's life insurance policy, which was $31,000, but today would be the buying power of about 181,000. So like a good chunk of, big chunk of change, but not like something to live the rest of your life out with, you know. So as they moved into this

house, their lives did not settle down. Things didn't get better. In fact, they got worse because pretty quickly the Hillies began receiving threatening letters in the mail as well as violent and threatening mysterious phone calls demanding that they move out of this house out of this neighborhood. Oh shit. So Marie suspected the threats were coming

from a neighbor's teenage son or a man she knew through work who had once solicited her for oral sex and she had refused him and she said, maybe he's getting revenge and harassing me and my daughter. But she and Carol tried to ignore it, live their lives as peacefully as possible and get along as well as they could, even though it was a little bit hard because Marie didn't really care to understand or befriend. Of course not. Marie, of course not, why would you?

Well, certainly not a lesbian. No, certainly not. Certainly not in that state. Go clean yourself up, then we'll talk. So they tried to live as peacefully as they could, but in 1979, when Carol decided to go to prom, Marie was fucking thrilled. She was like, finally.

I mean, this is like any Disney movie, right? It's like, oh, finally your parent is so proud of you because you're doing the thing that they, you're taking over the carb shop, carb wash business. You're taking over, you know, you're going to the prom. You're fulfilling my dreams. You're borrowing my hair ties and my straight iron. Yeah.

Well, also, did she go with anybody? Did she bring a boy? Okay, so she decided to go to prom and Marie was thrilled. Of course she was like, finally I can do hair and makeup with you, a fancy dress. These are the things that like, this is my love language, you know? So Marie did help her daughter get ready for prom all morning and afternoon. But as evening rolled around, Carol started to feel sick. She was like, I just really don't feel well.

And she became so nauseated, she started vomiting and she ended up missing the prom for what seemed like maybe a stomach bug or food poisoning. And she spent two days in bed sick to her stomach. So some time passed and Carol's symptoms returned. She was eventually hospitalized and like her father, they could not figure out what the hell was going on. But she was kind of showing a lot of the same symptoms that her dad had been showing, which was really scary to the rest of the family. I was gonna say, do you think it was genetic or something?

Yeah, that's what everyone was worried about because she was definitely reflecting the same concerns that her dad had shown before he passed away. And so Carol spent that summer in and out of doctor's appointments with these strange symptoms. She had, her feet would tingle, she lost feeling in her legs,

she had nerve damage, her muscles began to atrophy. And it was again, like her body was just shutting down. So as she rapidly deteriorated, her aunt, Freda, who was her dad's sister, so her aunt on her dad's side, called Carol's brother on the phone saying, you know, I'm really concerned. Like Carol's symptoms seem so much like Frank's.

It was already hard enough losing my brother. I don't want to lose my niece to the same thing, especially if you don't know what it is. So Mike, the Carol's brother, agreed that it seemed like a repeat of his dad's, uh, illness and just like the way that it was, they were powerless. They were powerless to do anything. So on September 19th, um, Carol was back in the hospital and it was really hard because

she, uh, Carol had started college, but she had to leave school to be in the hospital. That's how sick she was. So her mom, Marie, was sitting at her bedside in the hospital when police entered the room. They knocked and they entered and they approached her to discuss a series of bad checks that Marie had written. Because apparently she had blown through her late husband's insurance money and had begun writing fraudulent checks because like we discussed, she had a lavish lifestyle and it didn't matter how she got it, she had to have it.

So while Marie was gone, Carol was transferred to a different hospital because Marie's getting arrested for this other crime and they take Carol, they move her to a different hospital in Birmingham, Alabama, and got a second opinion. A new doctor did a comprehensive exam of Carol's body, and he observed some pretty alarming traits in Carol's hair and fingernails. He actually asked to look at her fingernails, and she had these white streaks across them. Oh, doesn't that mean you're, like, low on vitamin something?

So there are certain things that can happen to your nails that happen to mine all the time like indents and white marks that can mean like calcium deficiency. This was a different thing. If we look up, I can look up a photo later, it's a very distinct marking. It's a very distinct marking that he was looking for, this doctor, and he saw it in her fingernails and immediately ordered blood work to confirm his suspicions and he was right. There was arsenic in Carol's body. Oh, that's interesting that you can eventually see it

in someone's nails. Have we talked about that before? I don't think we have. I don't think we have. It's something that you can notice in hair and nails, over a long period of time, especially. Like if this was like, as it was, a very long extended period of being slowly kind of injected

with something that would eventually kill you. So this was her mom for the insurance money. Sure was. Mm-hmm. Or I don't know for the insurance money, but perhaps for just some other kicks and giggles. I would assume for the money so she could keep having a lavish life. Yeah.

I mean, I think she already didn't like her daughter very much and she definitely was running out of money. So yeah, you're probably right. Yeah. Yeah. So they found arsenic in Carol's body. It was way too much to have been an accident, you know, and it was very clear to doctors that Carol had been poisoned.

And her Aunt Frida, who had already called and been like, something's up, was the first to suspect this. Because when Frank was sick, Marie, his wife, had kept constant vigil over him and was known to administer special injections that she said were necessary for his treatment. Oh, it's very Gypsy Rose mom. It sure is. Oh, you's very Gypsy Rose mom of- It sure is. Oh, you need this.

Yeah, and speaking of which, real quick, Saoirse reached out with an apology and it was not Saoirse's fault, so I just wanna say that real quick, that I used the term Munchausen's by proxy during the episode, which I guess is not the term anymore. It's not the updated term. It's called factitious disorder, I believe,

factitious disorder imposed on another. And so I just want to say that's kind of an outdated term and somebody reached out about it. And Saoirse was apologizing that they hadn't put it in the notes, but I should have looked it up before I even said it. So that was on me. But yeah, factitious disorder imposed on another.

But yes, it does have a very similar vibe to what's happening here, definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so she would be administering these special injections that she claimed were necessary for his treatment. Meanwhile, the vague explanation about his supposed medication always seemed strange to Frieda, but she was like

She just didn't it didn't occur to her that her sister-in-law would be doing this Like it just didn't occur to her till her own niece started having the same Symptoms and then when she heard about arsenic she's like I knew there was a red flag in here somewhere I smelled something smell trouble. Yeah. Yeah So when Carol got sick Fridaida called Mike, Carol's brother, and asked if Marie had been giving his sister any injections. She was like, hey, quick question for you.

Quick little cue for you. Yeah, quick little cue. Any needles in your house? Any needles mysteriously showing up in the hospital. Do you know how to find a vein? Just kind of wondering. Yeah, we're all just wondering if that's maybe a possibility.

So Mike was like, I don't know, I'll go check. So he calls Marie and he says, hey, mom, have you been giving Carol injections at the hospital? And she says, no, of course not. And he asked, do you promise? And she said, no. Oh, it was that easy?

Which is so weird to me. Somebody with this kind of a complex. That's so weird, if you're like, back to it lying. Yeah, why are you? Why was your guilt that thin? That's weird. You know what I wonder though, I don this kind of a complex. That's so weird, if you're like back in a line. Yeah, why are you? Why was your guilt that thin? That's weird. You know what I wonder though, I don't think it was guilt. I think probably she knew he could just call the hospital

and they'd be like, yeah, she's been like giving her, you know what I mean? Like probably somebody knew. I don't know though. She could hear in his voice like if you don't. That he maybe already had a clue or something. Yeah, that's kind of what I think. I don't think it was guilt.

I really don't, you'll see why. That makes so much more sense. That makes so much more sense. Yeah, that's kind of what I think. I don't think it was guilt. I really don't. You'll see why. That makes so much more sense. That makes so much more sense. Yeah, I agree. So he's like, do you promise? Which probably implied like, I know more than you think. And she said, no.

And so when Mike called the hospital to ask about the injections, they were like, we sure didn't prescribe any. So if she is giving some, it is not under doctor's orders. So Mike immediately calls the police and the police inform him they had actually been trailing his mother for a while over these bad checks. So there she's already like in on their horizon, you know? While Marie was being questioned for these bad checks, Carol was transferred to examine for signs of poisoning. And now they knew the truth that she had been injected with

arsenic over a long period of time which of sorry What year was this again? Oh, this was in like the 30s. No, this was in the eight She was born. She was born in the 30s. This is now the 80s. Yep Okay, because I was gonna say in today's world like at least pick a different thing. Don't be so obvious as a fucking arsenic It was uh, actually 79 if we're being specific. Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. Sorry. Keep going. No, no. Yeah. I mean, it is weird to think about the decade makes a real big difference in each story.

Like it really, like how you were talking, oh, why didn't they take a picture? Oh, cause it was the 80s. You know, it really does have. Why were they using arsenic? Oh, because it was the 30s or 50s, 70s. It was the 70s. So while Marie was being questioned, and now they using arsenic? Oh, because it was the 30s or the 70s. So while Marie was being questioned, now they check her, the daughter, basically they finally are able to pry Marie away from her daughter so that they're able to really test her out

and figure out what's going on. And they realize that her mother is the reason for this illness. So Mike wrote a letter to the district attorney requesting an investigation into his father's death four years earlier. The coroner exhumed Frank's body and they discovered it contained lethal amounts of arsenic. So, ding, ding, ding, we're now figuring out this pattern. Frida went to Marie's house, so this is Marie's sister-in-law. This is Frank's sister.

She went to Marie's house and discovered a box of pill bottles in the basement that contained arsenic. And Carol asked Frida if she really believed her mother, her own mother, was responsible for killing her father and was capable of trying to kill her. And Frida said, yes, I do believe it. I do believe your mother did this. Also so awkward if she didn't actually do it.

So awkward. You have to be 110% sure. And then you go to like Christmas dinner with them and it's like, oh, you thought I had the potential to be a fucking serial killer. Thank you. You know you're not invited anymore. Man, but that's so, you're right.

You have to be 100% sure. So it's, that's pretty damning. So it's almost like that question is damning. Yes, 100%. So on October 9th, 1979, Marie was indicted for attempting to murder her daughter. And soon afterwards, she was also indicted for having murdered her husband.

Marie was released on bail awaiting her trial and her attorney checked her into a hotel where he said no one was allowed to have contact with her and when he arrived at the hotel to meet with her one day she was gone and there was a note left by a kidnapper saying do not pursue us or contact the authorities. Now we full circle all the way back to the start of these notes which was that she vanished without a trace from a hotel in Alabama in 1980 at the age of 47. I don't know much about without a trace. That feels like, I don't know much about vanished. Without a trace. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, well, what do you know about the future of

the story? This was all the past. I know. I guess I know nothing, but it does sound like we've got ourselves a culprit. We have a culprit for sure. So of course, everybody knew there was not a real kidnapper that Marie had just fucking run away. And she made her and her by the way, her kids were pissed because apparently the jail, the jail did not contact them about whether or not to release her. And Carol was like, she tried to kill me. You weren't even gonna tell me

you were releasing her into the wild. And now- That's a lawsuit. I didn't make it a lawsuit. I'd be like, are you fucking kidding me? And now she's fucking gone and maybe she's around the corner and finished the job. Yeah, oh my God, I would pack up my shit and move.

And the fact that it's your mother is so much more sinister, like... Yeah, that's a level of intimacy for a killing that is... That's so scary. It's like extra scary. It's totally different fear, yeah. And so, Marie, meanwhile, nobody knew this because she did do a pretty good job of escaping. I mean, again, it was 1980,

so it was a little harder to track people, but she made her way to Florida and she met a man named John Homan. Now, Marie introduced herself to him as Robbie, and the two of them hit it off, and he was head over heels from the moment he laid eyes on her. Aw.

They fell in love, but Marie did not wanna stay in Florida, so she convinced John to move to New Hampshire because I guess she liked the idea of like a snowy, picturesque landscape. And she's like, this sounds right. Or something just totally fucking different than what she... She probably just wanted to do a life change

all around. We're talking Marie, the... Oh. Sorry. Gotcha, gotcha. She escaped, went to Florida. Nobody knew this because she just like, pieced the fuck out.

But she changed her name to Robbie. Right, okay. Introduced herself to someone at a bar and... Well, I still kind of stand by that then. I would be like, maybe she just thinks nobody would look for her in a totally different climate. Oh, no, yeah. And she nailed it. Because again, without a trace, at least for several days.

Vanished. Vanished without a trace. And she loved the idea of having like kind of a picturesque, snowy, you know, New England vibe. And so they got married, they moved into a cottage together and Marie started working at a local office in October of 1980, living as Robbie Homan, which was his last name. So Robbie and John were happy together. Robbie was very well liked by her coworkers.

They described her as sociable, always smiling, very gentle. So everybody was stunned in the summer of 1982, which would have been two years after she had moved there, when Robbie told them she was going to Texas to stay with her sister because her fatal illness, her rare genetic blood disorder, had reared its ugly head again and she needed to go seek treatment.

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What does possible sound like for your business? It's the ability to reach further with access to over 1,400 lounges worldwide. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit amex.ca slash business platinum. So she moved to Texas to be with her sister for a while and she told John, you stay here.

I'll reach out. I'll let you know what's going on. And they had a tearful goodbye. She went to stay with her twin sister in Texas. And John stayed behind to work and care for the house. And months later, John received a call from Robbie's twin sister, Terry Martin, who told him that Robbie had unfortunately passed away. Oh. And John was heartbroken. He didn't realize how sick his wife had really been. Terry told John that Robbie would have wanted her and they had letters, she had letters from Robbie saying, please take care of John.

He needs support during this time. So Terry said, you know what, I'm going to fly up there and help take care of everything in the wake of my sister's passing. So Terry shows up, this is so stupid. So Terry shows up weirdly looking just like Robbie, but like they're twins, right? So of course they look alike and she has different hair.

Does he fall in love with her? It's possible. Drama, I love it. You should have just started with that. You can't end it with that. It's so crazy. So Terry told John that Robbie would have wanted her to be at his side and support him when she died.

So Terry rushes to New Hampshire. She looks different, but still John is like taken by how much she looks just like Robbie. So Terry moves in, John finds comfort with her living in the house and then Terry shows up at Robbie's office and says, you know, I'm actually just gonna take over my dead sister's job and start working here. And they were like, what?

That's okay. Is she the same person? Is this just the same person? It's the same person. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Is this, is she the same person? Is this just the same person? It's the same person. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

You know what's so wild is John has no fucking idea. He really thinks this is her twin. So he really did. She did a full identity switch on him, even to her own husband. Yes. And he believed it. Didn't he go to like a funeral? No, because of course when Robbie, not even a real name, died,

there were all these notes like, please don't have a funeral, please don't cry about my death, like just move on. So this was a long, long, long, long, long time coming. Like she fully planned this. Yes, this was a big con, yes. And I will add, they did, so Terry went in with, Terry, Robbie's fake persona.

Who's not even Robbie? The twin sister, who's not even Robbie. Terry went into the newspaper headquarters with him to write an obituary. And the newspaper was like, well, that's weird. Usually the funeral home reaches out. And she was like, we're not having a funeral. We're just doing an obituary.

We did like a thing back in Texas and we're not, you know, going to publicize it too much, but we want to write an obituary. And so they published this obituary. Anyway, that'll come back to bite them. But oh, I'm sure. Yeah. Anyway, that'll come back to bite them, but... Oh, I'm sure, yeah. Yeah, in any case, she starts working at her dead sister's job, like takes the desk, even though it's literally her. Did she just go to the boss and go,

hi, recognize me? That was my sister. That was my sister hair flip. I'd be like, are you a crazy person? If I was back at the prop house and someone walked in after my coworker died and it was someone who was exactly like my coworker and was like, I'm fully qualified for this. I'd be like, bitch, that's you. Like, is that not nuts? It's like, it feels like a weird upset of punk to like, I don't understand what you're doing. I'd be like, are you telling me you look exactly the same?

You do exactly all the same stuff. And I'm supposed to just go with this. This feels really good. Here's the thing. They didn't fucking believe her for a minute. Okay. Thank God. Okay. This feels really good. Here's the thing, Em. They didn't fucking believe her for a minute. Okay, thank God. Okay, someone had some reason. The husband did, and I'm not gonna victim blame him because I feel that he was definitely taken for a ride here. For a ride, yeah. Certainly.

And I also think, you know, he only knew her two years. He was head over heels. He was like totally blinded by love, whatever, and trust and naivete perhaps. And then when this twin came, apparently when she lived with him, she, I think she probably used all her energy to convince John and not everybody else.

Because he's like, no, like she loves TV. And apparently Robbie fucking hated to watching TV, but Terry came and just watched TV all the time. And he's like, there's some really, like doesn't drink coffee, like very specific things she would do at home where he was like, huh, okay, I guess it isn't her. You know that second time around

when she had to totally change her interests and now they were actually not her interests. She's like, oh fuck. She must've been pissed. I hope there was something she could throw in the mix that was like, finally. It's like if I died and then came back and became your best friend and decided to become

the next host of this podcast, but I really liked hiking. You would be like, did you hit your fucking head? What is wrong with you? I would probably be convinced it was your weird twin I never met, you know? I'd be like, there's no other way. But then it's me pretending to be me or someone else. And now I have to go fucking hiking all the time.

I'd be like, oh my God. And now you have to live up to it. Honestly, I would be like, oh my God. You have to live up to it. Honestly, I would like. I got myself into the weirdest places. I would fucking let you do it. I'd be like, oh yeah, you like hiking so much? Let's fucking go. Let's go hiking.

That's how you'll know if I have an evil twin. That's how you'll know. Yeah, they certainly would be evil if we were going hiking every day. So in any case, the office felt like something was wrong. I love that the coworkers are immediately gossiping. And the boss is the only one who's like, guys, can we give it a rest?

Like she, and she had also, by the way, faked her illness up until this point. So her boss was very familiar with, she had told him, I have this rare blood disorder. So for two years she was like, oh, I'm in remission or like, oh, it's really bothering me today. I'm in a lot of pain. So he had just bought the story over the years.

So it wasn't that shocking to him, but the rest of the coworkers were like, we work with her every day. Like there's something shady happening here. You know, we don't believe this. Yeah. The way that I would kill for this story to be happening in the prop house when I was still coworkers

with my old boss, Renee. Oh man, Imagine, imagine. Renee would suss that shit out so fast. We would be going to lunch every day, playing, we'd be doing minute by minute reviews of what happened that day. You would be having a test, like you would like test them. Oh, it would be iconic, really.

And then if we got like a new person at work and they asked to go get lunch with us, and they'd be like, so tell me about everyone in the office. Renee would throw out like a thousand page document of like, boom. Oh, you want to know the real truth of the office? Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly it. And so the office of course is gossiping is like, what the fuck is going on? And they contact authorities because they've also seen this obituary and it doesn't quite track. Like they're, they're doing sleuthing. One of the, that's yeah, you, that's us, like had found the obituary, had then traced what it said was like the full name. And then, um, I think it was either a high school or something in a town and they

called the town and they were like, there's no high school here by that name. You know, they were pulling a proper Christine as well. Right, right, right. They're, they're testing the waters here. They're, they waters here. They're calling her bluff. And they do. They're like, this is a fake obituary. There's lies in this thing. So they contact authorities with this bizarre story saying like either Robbie is posing as Terry, maybe Terry had been posing as Robbie all along.

Like they don't know what is going on except that something shady as fuck is happening here. So the state police and the FBI are interested enough that they become involved in the case and they decide to confront Terry one day in 1983. They show up at her work and they're in the parking lot and when she walks out they confront her, they ask her what's going on and they told her they know she is not who she claimed to be. she is not who she claimed to be. And shockingly, Terry goes, yeah, you're right. I'm not.

Oh my God. The way that this girl fucking flips the script, as soon as she, there's one thing she hates and it's being put in a corner. She- You know what? That's so true, Em. She is very scared of conflict for someone who pulls a lot of bullshit.

For someone who is the only one creating the conflict, you know, you're the one causing the problems. She told them they could take her to the police station and she would tell them the truth. And so they take her to the police station and she admits that her real name is Audrey Marie Hilley, which is her legal birth name. She said she is a fugitive from Alabama who changed her identity to escape fraud charges over bad checks. And of course they contact law enforcement in Alabama and are like, okay, but you're also one for murder and attempted murder, not just

bad checks. You murdered your husband and tried to murder your daughter. I like how she was hoping like if I give them enough truth, then they won't pay attention to the other stuff I'm not talking about. She's like, oh, it's yes. I admit to the bad checks. Now we can focus on that. And they're like, what about the murder? And she's like, the bad checks are so bad. So.

Don't you remember how bad the checks were though? Like super bad. But it was like the checks I've never, oh my God, I'll never recover. Remember when I did the F word fraud? Yeah. So she basically admits this to them, but then of course they find out like,

hey, there's a lot more to this story. So she's extradited to Alabama to finally face her charges. The trial began in May, 1983. And investigations into Marie's crimes, of course, not shockingly at all, uncovered disturbing stories from many people who knew her. Friends and colleagues reported that they had often fallen ill after eating food Marie had cooked, both in her home, at social events.

And I think about going to like a church cookout or like just a friend's birthday. I would be petrified. Yeah. It's so scary. And it's just like Tupperware with potato salad and it like almost kills you. I don't even trust myself because if I were ever in a room with her and I ate something, I'd go, that bitch ate fucked with my cookies. I already know.

Yeah. I'd find a way to remember being sick that day. I'd be like, ow, my tummy hurts. It was you. Yeah, I would, I don't think I would be a safe person to in the terms of hindsight, but I, yeah, I feel like every single person had to rethink any interaction I ever had with her.

Especially like social, just like casual potlucks, that kind of thing. So was there a reason for them? Because if it was like her dad and her daughter, I kind of saw it as like, oh, for money for the- That's kind of why I like pushed back a little bit and said, yeah, for money, probably, but also just like, because,

because she just likes to do it. Yeah, it seems like she's just fucking bored, yeah. She just likes to, I think she's just probably, this is me armchair analyzing maybe a sociopath and just likes that control over people and likes to watch them suffer because of her You know, I don't know but so they a lot of people let's just say came out of the woodwork to be like, um, yeah, she definitely made me sick too she was known to call the police to her house to report a stalker and

Eventually police were like, okay She's just making these calls for attention. But police would come and they would drink tea and eat snacks that she offered them and the officers would also fall ill after visiting her home. So it seemed like we kind of just said, Marie poisoned people randomly without like a clear motive, like just almost for fun. And as for her husband and daughter, the prosecution accused Maria of seeking insurance money, like you said, to support this kind of luxurious lifestyle that was beyond her means.

She had actually taken out a $25,000 life insurance policy on her daughter, Carol, in addition to the one on Frank, and that today is about $146,000. Okay. And she also had a $25,000 life insurance policy on her son, Mike, and she was the only beneficiary on those policies. Damn, so is Mike gonna go next?

So Mike is like already out of the house. He was just lucky because he was old enough to move out before. He's like, thank God. Yeah, exactly. However, ooh, this part gives me a tummy ache. It's so freaky. He explained that during her disappearance,

after she disappeared from the hotel room, one night he heard his baby crying. He had a brand new baby, and he went into the room, and the window was open. Eww! Oh, my God. And he was like, she came in to visit the baby. And he was like, she's gonna hurt my child, she's gonna hurt my family.

And thankfully, they were able to scare her off. Like, I think she heard him coming and ran out the window, and he's like, I don't know what she would have done if I hadn't heard the commotion. Oh, my God. I don't know if she would have tried to take the baby. I'm surprised she didn't. I was gonna say for ransom. She probably was gonna kidnap the baby for ransom.

She may have. And he said, like, thank God I was able to intervene before anything happened. But he said he knew it was his mother, and he also said he was on edge for years until she, like, reappeared, because he was on edge for years until she like reappeared because he was like, she could just come back at any minute and try to get in the house and do something to his kid. And so just really, really freaky stuff. So Marie had collected insurance money for damages sustained as well by a lot of random accidents and things that

had happened to her. Fires had started in her house. She collected insurance on her car when it was burned after somebody had stolen it allegedly. And so, you know. Maybe she paid the fucking guy from my story to come burn things for the insurance money. Right, right.

It could be and say, but don't rain on it. Don't rain on it. Right, right. But the defense meanwhile, they relied on Carol's appearance and reputation Right, right, it could be and say, but don't rain on it. Don't rain on it. Right. But the defense meanwhile, they relied on Carol's appearance and reputation as kind of a soft spoken Southern belle who was small and petite and couldn't harm anyone.

They argued that she just didn't fit the profile for a cold blooded murderer. And people in the case even described her later as a very small, soft-spoken, polite southern woman. So it's almost like very, what's the word, where you're like disarmed. Like she's very disarming. Like you don't realize how scary she is until you kind of hear more about what she does. Ultimately, she was found guilty and sentenced to life in prison for the death of her husband, Frank, and she spent 20 years in prison for attempting to kill Carol, her daughter.

But even in prison, Marie was very concerned with her status. She used her social charms and of course, the privilege of being a pretty white Southern belle to befriend a warden whom she convinced that she was framed about this crime. And meanwhile, her husband, John, actually moved from New Hampshire to Alabama because he believed her story. That poor man. What did he say when he found out about everything?

He thought she was being framed. Wow, she really got him good. She got him good. So in February of 1987, Marie convinced the warden to allow her to leave prison on furlough. Isn't that interesting? That is weird. And she decided to visit John, her husband. And so she did.

They spent two days together. The warden considered her a very good trustworthy candidate for furlough. Remember, he was convinced she had been framed by this point. And so John, her husband, picked her up on February 19th. They spent three romantic whirlwind days together before it was time for Marie to return to prison. She told him she wanted to visit her mother's grave one last time and that she would meet him at Waffle House afterward.

So John got to the Waffle House. But wouldn't you know it, tick-tock, tick-tock, Marie did not appear. She escaped. that she would meet him at Waffle House afterward. So John got to the Waffle House, but wouldn't you know it, tick-tock, tick-tock, Marie did not appear. She escaped, she left. She fucking escaped. Brilliant. Brilliant.

Brilliant. He returned to the boarding house where they were staying and found a goodbye note saying she was leaving the country. So the state of Alabama issued a massive manhunt, but for three days there was no sign of Marie. Also another genius thing would be to say you're leaving the country so everyone's looking at Interpol and like you're actually just like down the road.

Well, hold that thought. I'm so fucking good. Well, not quite. Okay, I'm okay. You're okay, we'll see. Finally on the morning of the fourth day since her escape, a 911 call came in reporting a woman incoherent and barely conscious on someone's porch. Paramedics arrived and found

Marie Hilley dying of exposure to the cold. Oh, shit. She had been out in the rain and cold for three days trying to survive in the nearby woods while she waited out searches for her. And she had succumbed to cardiac arrest caused by hypothermia in the hospital. Calhoun County District Attorney Bob Field called Marie a great escape artist and remarked that her death was quote, anti-climactic. Damn, that's embarrassing. It is. Marie's family picked up the pieces and moved on with their lives, obviously deeply traumatized by all this. Mike and his wife had children and grandchildren.

In a 2012 interview, Carol said her childhood with Marie was a faded memory and that she had moved on long ago and was focused on her life with her brother and their family. Carol said in the same interview, I sometimes think how my mother cheated my father out of his grandchildren. I guess she cheated herself out of them too. Carol, her brother Mike and his family

led happy successful lives long after Marie passed. And funnily enough, as Saoirse wrote this note in here, Carol says she can't imagine why anyone would still be interested in Marie's crimes and her story. Geez. I mean, it's just fascinating. I know that like probably Marie's like, I'm over it, I've moved on,

but you know, it's an interesting story, neither the less. Neither the less, that's not a word. Anyway, Marie was dubbed the Black Widow and her story has often been featured in like very sensationalized stories about her being a Southern belle, you know, and like who could have thought the nice lady next door. Easily a lifetime movie. Easily.

And there were articles with headlines like three faces of the pretty poisoner and queens of poison, you know, all that silly nonsense. But yeah, that is the story of Audrey Marie Hilley. But I want to send you a photo because she really does look like just the classic. Does she look like her twin sister kind of, you think? Not really though, you know? They're pretty different actually.

Interesting. But I bet they could probably do the same job. They probably could do the same job. Yeah. She does look like a southern belle. It's a big poof hair. The big fucking poof and then like the big smile and looking almost like just like I'm going to serve you a jello casserole, you know? Uh huh.

Yeah. Laced with arsenic. Wow. Wow. Anyway, that's the story. The pretty poisoner. Silly. Talk about pretty privilege even as a murderer, people are making sure they know that you're

beautiful. In the headline, like, come on. Well, Christine, you are right. You befuddled me. But you were on it though. I mean, you were wrong about... She probably should have left the country because she didn't survive in Alabama. But other than that, you were on top of it.

That was quite a bemusement. I forget what I called it. Topsy turvy. Yeah. Well, topsy turvy. I could do that. I feel, I feel topsten turved. Well, I don't feel, well, whatever. Toppy, the end. Thank you. I was just waiting for you to finish Christy what are you doing for the rest of the day? I don't know. I forgot to eat today. So I'm pretty damn hungry What are you up to? I have to figure out my

I've figure out my Schedule find out your missing shit from the closet That and I have to figure out my schedule. Find out your missing shit from the closet. That, and I have to figure out my schedule with my mom. I don't know if I'm coming back here or not after our shows. So I gotta figure out what the move is. But other than that, I'm just, I think doing laundry and getting ready to do more shows with you. Just straight chilling. JCMU.

JCMU. JCNM, NMJCU. Oh my God, it's been too long. It's been too long. I just trusted you. Thank you. Never do that again. Where's your little baby?

What's she doing? She's downstairs waiting for me to wrap up this nonsense. Did she like her dinosaur cake? She fucking loved her dinosaur cake. We posted, did you see the photos? I think Megan posted photos on Instagram. She looked beautiful. I was so proud of my baby.

Did she make friends? Where, at her birthday party? Yeah, I didn't know if there was like other children, just because you're outside, you know, maybe someone just bumps in there. There were some friends there, some people who were just at the park who stopped by. It was very cute and her best friend, Hailey, came

and they are just like two peas in a pod and just so stinkin' cute. We didn't post that because I'm not gonna post a picture of Leanna and her friends to Instagram publicly, but I will send you pictures of them together, because they are, like you look at those two and you're like trouble, double trouble. I love it.

What was the gift that she liked the most out of everything? Oh my God, it was a fucking, I don't know if I talked about this, but her little ping pong set where you, basically I got her this ping pong thing where you hang it by an adhesive and it's on a string, and then she gets like paddles

and you can can play endlessly. Ping pong, she just loves activities. She's a very activity-oriented person, whereas I just would rather lay down. But she loves it, yeah, she had fun. A lot of climbing things, she likes to climb shit for better or for worse, to frame my nerves. Wobbly mountain. Exactly, yeah, you get it. Well, thank you everyone for worse to frame my nerves wobbly mountain exactly yeah you get it well thank you

everyone for listening to us if you'd like to hear us keep yapping you can head over to patreon and you can come to our shows you can get our tickets on our website and our book is out please go get our both books please go get both of them and uh that's it we're gonna go do a Yappy Hour on Patreon. So join us there if you would like to hear more. And that's why we drink.