And That's Why We Drink - E65 A Gender-Neutral Wolf and Satan’s Center Mouth
Episode Date: April 29, 2018Don’t make haste! It’s episode 65, and we’re we’re diving deep into the capture of the Golden State Killer, the murder of Mandy Steingasser, and the 9 Circles of Hell. It’s a choose-your-own...-adventure, where Em’s ideal woman has long legs and steak. In this episode, closed cases are solved, and Satan’s got a triple chin. Abandon all hope, u who enter here. Head to squarespace.com/drink for a free trial and use offer code DRINK to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!Visit www.mylola.com and use promo code DRINK40 when you subscribe for 40% off your first order! For 20% off your purchase, visit TULA.com/drink and enter promo code DRINK at checkout!Havenly - Get 25% off your design package by visiting havenly.com/drink!Go to felixgrayglasses.com/drink to try a pair of Felix Gray glasses today!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Are you okay? Do you need help? Eva, can you help?
Can you put the cork in the bottle?
Thank you, Eva.
Aw, wow, I was kidding, but it's actually happening right now. Eva's doing it.
Eva does things for us that we don't deserve.
That's fine.
Ugh, Eva, you're fired.
Yeah, what the hell?
Eva, you're being timed. How bad do you want the job?
Oh, I got it.
I got it.
Oh, okay.
She wins.
You're in.
You're still in.
Yeah, but now I want more wine, so do I have to...
No, don't take it out.
Take it out with your teeth like a pirate, Eva.
Go.
Guys, welcome to episode 65 all right 65 that's a lot and that's not even including the listeners episodes that's bananas that means we're very close to 100 oh total yes yes yes yes yes this
episode is sponsored by chloe maze sup chloe? She's been a Patreon donor since October.
October.
The month of Halloween.
Wow.
What else happens then?
You get married.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
While we...
And I get married.
Okay.
And it's Austin's birthday.
Yeah, each of us have an opposite...
Allison, you heard me say that before Christine, right?
Opposite life event happening.
So thank you, Chloe, for supporting us.
This is a big episode because I have a lot to say.
Guys, some of you really like our long episodes.
Some of you really don't like it.
But buckle up regardless.
Just I hope you're on a road trip.
It's all on brand.
I hope you have a really long day ahead of you at work and you just need something to
listen to and you're hoping that this will be a little longer than usual grab a mr pibb whoa and a snickers bar
hashtag ad fuel up no ad no ad just grab it and feel up um i have a lot to say christine has a lot
to say especially because a lot of things have happened that are very topical emotions are
running very high poor eva has already heard us almost talk about it multiple times tonight poor
eva wants to talk about it and i'm like no no i can't talk about it until we start recording eva
has uh is starting to learn that one of the things that christine and i do is we intentionally don't
share any personal or important information with each other because
we know to just save it for the show and poor evo is like do you want to talk about x y and z and
we're like we can't we we're just we just have to have surface conversation until we're done with
our tacos and then go upstairs and record we're martyrs we're yeah actually eva just get ready
alongside everyone else martyrs for the cause.
Also, if you're listening to this backwards, like a lot of people do, Eva, they're like,
who the hell is Eva?
Yeah.
First of all, rude.
First of all, you've got 64 other episodes to listen to is what you got to do.
Catch the fuck up.
Catch the fuck up. Eva is our wonderful assistant who does things like put corks in our wine bottles when they're
not empty yet.
Also, I just watched Christine use a lesbian coloring book as a mouse pad and we're not even going to talk about it,
I guess. I just wanted to bring it to the attention of everyone. What is there to talk about?
Okay, anyway, let's just move on. I know you want to talk about it. I know you're itching.
I see you moving. I'm twitching. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Let's do a table of
contents for what's about to happen
okay because we got a lot of things to cover let's go all on brand guys all on brand not
making shit up one one christine got a cat oh that's number one no i'm just making sure that
we don't forget oh sure okay one christine got a cat yeah two christine went to alcatraz yes
three irons irons golden state killer also i have things to say too but i guess they're not as
important this is a very christine based what are your things no you're not gonna care what i do
care the avengers comes out tonight and i'm missing it for this show which i hope everyone
knows after 10 years of waiting for this movie and i'm here right now i hope you know how important
the show is also missing it eva are you a marvel fan oh my fucking god you're hired
all over again are you guys gonna leave me oh my god wait shit she's missing it eva for this
we have so much to talk about this is not good oh my gosh we're gonna have to record our own
marvel episode let's okay christine you have the floor well now i feel like i will say okay let me
just have two minutes
and then you can do all of your stuff.
Okay, go, go, go, go.
Okay.
I have waited my entire life for Infinity War.
It comes out tonight.
It is Thursday night.
I am seeing it tomorrow.
Why didn't you tell me?
We would have moved it.
Because you know I don't pay attention to that.
Because Allison also told me
that we had to go see it on Friday.
Oh, okay.
So it's not just my fault.
I just want to blame it on you.
And so I'm not seeing it until Friday. I'm not seeing it until's not just my fault. I just want to blame it on you. And so
I'm not seeing it until Friday. I'm not seeing until tomorrow. And I got the tickets like a
month ago. So we've got center front row seats. So excited. Not front row. It's like you're doing
it wrong. And I'm very excited, although I'm very scared because if they're going to do it based on
how the comic books go, I'm not going to like what I see.
But I'm very excited.
And I have a theory.
I haven't seen it yet, but I have a theory
that my favorite concept in the world, time travel, is involved.
And they're going to go back to the first movie
when they first became the Avengers.
Eva, what are your thoughts?
Eva, here's the microphone.
Speak into it as closely as possible.
Whoa.
Famous, famous words.
We need to get our own microphone.
She has a lot to contribute.
And I'm not saying that because I read a script or, I mean, I do work at the place where we made everything, but I don't know any more than anyone else does.
They've been very hush hush.
Oh, true.
So you haven't read it in advance.
I don't know.
I just been have.
Now, here's the question.
If you had gotten access,
would you have read it in advance
or would you have been like,
I don't want spoilers?
I would have liked to be able to trust myself
to not read it, but I would have.
You would have done it.
I would have done it and hated myself afterwards.
You would have been like,
no, I shouldn't read it.
And then you would have read it.
Oh, I will say, I will say,
I'm not allowed to post a picture yet, but i requested at work that i could do it on my birthday
as my birthday gift from the office but i can't post the picture until after the movie comes out
so i have to do it after may 4th anyway or april 27th what um i got to i got to wear the infinity
gauntlet at work which i know you don't know what that is. It's very important. Look at her. I don't understand. It's very important.
It's very important.
Just please pretend you're very excited.
Wow.
Holy smokes.
It's like, you know how Captain America has a shield and Thor has his mill owner and all
that?
Yeah, I do.
Okay.
The Infinity Gauntlet is like the biggest.
It's the Infinity War and the Infinity Gauntlet has all the Infinity stones.
What's a gauntlet?
What is that?
It's a glove.
Oh, I thought a gauntlet was like uh
like a like an activity of act like a physical strength well they're certainly gonna have a lot
of physical activity in this movie so you're not wrong i thought like if you go through a gauntlet
you're like going through physical feats oh okay i don't know anything you're really nitpicking
something that's i don't know what a gauntlet i wore the infinity gauntlet and it glows and everything is it a sword a glove like what's a
glove what's a glove it's a glove wow it's very cool and i got to touch the one i got to touch
the one that's pretty dope anyway i'm gonna see it on screen tomorrow i'm going to cry i've already
told everyone you're gonna cry oh at least three times i've never have i seen you cry before you've seen me cry but you haven't seen me weep which allison is going to see and i've already warned her
because at the beginning of every marvel movie they always have like that intro sequence where
the marvel like title shows up and it's made out of comic books yes when they show that with the
infinity war music in the background i'm going to lose my
goddamn mind and i've already told allison i don't care what she sees and she can't judge me for it
and like she cannot like and also let's all have like a three second moment of silence for allison
because she has been the best girlfriend she has has watched 18 movies. Well, was one of them the one?
Did you buy one on our TV?
Yeah, I need to Venmo you.
You need to Venmo my brother,
because he's like, why are you watching Spider-Man?
I thought you were in San Francisco.
Yeah, I also babysat Gio this weekend,
and then we bought it, and then after we bought it,
we were like, oh, this isn't our Amazon account.
Yeah, okay, I owe him money.
Whoops.
But anyway, we watched all 18.
Allison watched all 18.
She knows everything.
She's entirely prepped for the Infinity War tomorrow.
And she's the world's best girlfriend.
Wow.
Anyway, that was my whole thing.
That was longer than two minutes.
I bet yours is going to be longer than two minutes.
Yeah, but you told me you got two minutes.
Eva, edit it to two minutes.
Okay, go Christine.
Okay, I appreciate your passion.
Thank you.
Let's talk about this. Let's talk about this.
Let's talk about it in whatever order you want.
Fucking Golden State Killer.
Here it is.
Was caught this morning.
Yesterday.
Caught.
Morning.
Like, like actually caught.
Literally.
Like after like over 40 years of waiting for him to get caught.
Captured.
What episode did we talk about him on?
48.
If you would like to travel back to 48, where we did not know the future.
We did not, and I said, he probably won't ever get caught.
And now, here it is.
Bananas.
So weird, because I have been reading Michelle McNamara's book um I'll Be Gone in the Dark
who's Patton Oswalt's wife I mentioned it briefly on our episode but I wasn't really like
fully in it yet so I didn't really understand like the impact of that book but so her book
she passed away before it was published so then it was posthumously published by her
friends in Patton Oswalt and some researchers and I had started reading it and
I was about a third of the way through and I was reading it one night and I fell asleep
I woke up the next morning literally like six hours after I'd put the book down and he was
fucking caught and it was the most like surreal and what's the just in case people don't know
what's the book about oh so it's about her research into the Golden State Killer, a.k.a. Euron's, a.k.a. East Area Rapist slash original Night Stalker.
And she has been, she passed away, but she had been tracking him and researching him and doing her own.
She has a, had a website called True Crime Diary and was a true crime, you know, researcher and journalist.
And she wrote this book was working
on this book um and it's incredible it's terrifying and it's a really well done account of just
everything that he did during the 40 fucking rapes and 12 kills and insane and um just like
theories as to like why he hasn't been caught who he is.
And at the end of the book,
she theorizes that she's like,
a lot of people think that he died because,
um,
his sort of like reign of terror just suddenly ended very abruptly.
And she basically theorized in her book,
like,
I know you're alive and i don't believe you're dead
and i don't believe you went to jail like i know you're out there and you're going to be caught and
she passed away so it was like really emotional wow they actually caught him and it was like
she's not here she was right i know that right and she's not here for it so patten oswalt posted like
this is the definition of bittersweet like she did it yeah also like
she can't be here for it anyway so i've cried a lot today but it was crazy and i know a lot of
so like case file is one of my favorite podcasts and they did a five-part episode on the on
the golden state killer back in the day which is like the most thorough episode i've ever or thorough podcast
i've ever listened to about him uh we covered it obviously in episode 48 but i don't want to
pretend like i like right knew what the i mean hindsight is a very powerful thing yeah and i
covered it and it's just amazing because i'm like oh yeah i remember researching all this but now
it's just so like in the forefront that i can't pretend
to know how like we'll have to do like a an analysis episode or something we're like thinking
that you look at back at like the original notes and it's like oh well this was happening in this
this and this totally i was thinking that too because like a lot of people tweeted us like
i was listening to your episode and then like knowing what we know now and putting it on top
of it is such a weird layer crazy yeah um so he
anyway if you haven't listened to it yet or if you have just sum up um golden state killer he
uh in the 60s to the 80s i think early 70s to 80s early 70s to 86 raped at least 50 women terrorized towns in across california up and down
california murdered at least a dozen people um just like traumatized yeah it wasn't just raping
them it was coming back into their lives in the future and making sure that they didn't forget
who could but psychological torture like just really really bad and just then vanished um and and making sure that they didn't forget him. Who could, but... Psychological torture. Yeah.
Just really, really bad.
And just then vanished.
And I know...
So My Favorite Murderer did a kind of like...
As it was happening,
they just released an episode the day of.
I know a lot of podcasts are going to be talking about this,
but I just kind of wanted to update anybody
who maybe doesn't listen to those episodes or whatever.
And I don't know how much you know about all this i know our episode oh okay and then i mean i i like watched the conference
yesterday at noon yeah at the press conference um although i did watch it uh at my lunch break
so i didn't get to watch the whole thing. I was like slowly catching up. It was pretty short anyway. I feel like it wasn't as like illuminating, I guess, as many people had hoped.
But since then, a lot more information has come out.
So I'm just going to kind of like sum up what happened.
So Golden State Killer was at large for over 40 years.
A lot of people theorized that he had died.
for over 40 years a lot of people theorized that he had died nobody really knew where he had gone whether he had gone to jail or what yesterday they finally caught him it was like a shock to
everyone even people who had worked the case for decades because a lot of people had just assumed
it would never happen like at least by this point he was dead a lot of people assumed yeah exactly
the very at the best that he was dead at the lot of people assumed. Yeah, exactly. At the best, he was dead.
At the worst, they would just never figure it out.
And it was one of the...
He was, like, the most prolific cold case in the history of America.
Like, it was...
No fucking joke.
So, his name is Joseph James D'Angelo.
They found him in Citrus Heights, California.
He is 72 years old.
So it turns out he served in Vietnam for
22 months. He graduated
with honors from Sacramento State with
a degree in criminal justice and
then joined the Auburn Police Force.
So he was actually a police officer.
He had been...
So he was actually a police officer for all but one of the east area rapist
attacks so every single one but one he committed while he was a working police officer he was
dismissed from the police force on august 29, 1979 for shoplifting a can of dog
repellent and a hammer
from a Sacramento drugstore.
Great. Not sketchy
things at all. No! It actually
reminds me of, um...
Robert Durst? Yeah, Robert Durst, who
also was fucking caught... He, like, stole a band-aid.
A sandwich and a band-aid! Calm the fuck
down. That
was one of our early episodes, too.
Episode two, guys.
It was, huh?
The band-aid.
Yeah, so shoplifting for no reason other than, like, I guess a thrill or maybe hiding the brand or whatever.
You know, whatever reason you have to shoplift.
So he was dismissed after shoplifting.
So he was dismissed after shoplifting.
And that's actually when his crimes shifted from East Area Rapist down to Southern California, where he began murdering his victims. So it escalated.
So he not only was dismissed from the police force and moved to a new county, he also escalated his crimes and started murdering his victims
so after he committed 12 murders at least uh then he just suddenly stopped and the murders ended
and he spent the rest of his he actually was working his job was
this is so bananas i saw this on reddit his job was across the street from the fbi headquarters
in sacramento oh my god so if you look at google maps it's like fbi headquarters and then this
the distribution center that he worked at was like across the street
which is just nutso the whole time he was across this fucking street 30 years he worked there
hiding in plain sight hiding in plain sight for real uh so basically the sacramento county sheriff
scott jones said the task force had been conducting surveillance on him on d'Angelo for several days and they retrieved his DNA from a discarded item like a
soda can or something in his trash then they they at first didn't say like how they came to suspect
him and today it came out that they actually used like ancestry.com or 23andMe one of the ancestry like DNA sites and a family
member had like submitted their DNA for ancestry testing and they had been able to look at the
family tree and track down relatives who fit the profile and they were able to find him as someone who was born in the
right time period lived in the right area and that's how they basically pinned him down wow
yeah so it was like through one of these who'd have thought like family lineage sites exactly
one of those like ancestry sites and they haven't confirmed which one it was but they have said that that's how they were able to initially zero in on him they also said that the way so the way that in the press
conference they said it had been six days that they had been like plotting this capture or this
arrest um they decided to wait until uh d, D'Angelo left his house.
And a lot of people theorize that it was because, you know, if you swarm in on someone while
they're in their house and they're older and they're, they know they're guilty, they might
commit suicide on the spot to evade capture.
So instead of swarming in on him they waited really patiently several hours before
he was arrested he was seen in his garage working on his boat just kind of like puttering around his
house and eventually he went outside uh and i have a quote here um He went outside and he was arrested.
And as the FBI and law enforcement was arresting him, he said that he had a roast in the oven.
And the FBI said, we'll take care of it and took him into custody.
Just like I just don't know.
A neighbor, a lot of neighbors were shocked by the arrest because a lot of them had lived there for literal decades and had known him since childhood.
Right.
And were like, oh, he was just like the nice neighbor who helped my dad build a pool or helped us build a fence.
or right helped us build the fence um a lot of people said he was quirky and he swore a lot and he would be in his front yard yelling at himself if he lost his keys or he like had a weird anger
problem but it was mostly just like a weird quirk of an old man like right nothing like that simpsons
guy who used to yell at clouds or whatever the fuck like just like a quirky old man with an anger
problem um so people most people were shocked.
Some people were like, he always gave me the creeps.
One neighbor said he had once found D'Angelo prowling in his side yard and then had to hop down a bike and run away.
So some people had gotten the creeps from him, but most people were like, oh, I just thought he was like an elderly dude who...
Right.
An ex-cop.
You know, why would you think anything of it?
He has three adult children, three adult daughters.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
One big thing was that.
So a lot of victims, if you read I'll Be Gone in the Dark, a lot of the victims said that not a lot, but several had said that he during the attacks they would hear him whimpering
and crying and like gasping and one of the things that he would say is i'm sorry mommy and like or
like fuck you mommy and like get really worked up about it and some internet sleuths looked into this and did some research and it's now coming out that he had
actually been engaged at one point and it had been broken off to a woman named bonnie and one
of the victims had said he wasn't saying mommy he was saying bonnie oh no so that's another twist
where they're like, shit.
Like, maybe he was not saying mommy or whatever.
He was saying Bonnie. This was like revenge.
Yeah, he had like, he had issues.
Oh, no.
About the engagement that was broken off.
So that's another theory they're now looking at.
Because one victim swears he was saying Bonnie, not mommy.
A neighbor, Gabby Ramirez, who's 14 and lived a street over
played with d'angelo's granddaughter all the time said he was a normal grandpa said like she never
felt weird around him he was just a nice man who would take them out to get ice cream sometimes
um the neighbor said oh he was just like a friendly guy you know i mean classic like cliche fucking serial killer
um he was very meticulous about his yard and his boat and like he painted lines on the driveway to
make sure his boat was parked exactly to the right inch but other than that nobody really
suspected anything um and at this point all we know is that he's been arrested his dna is 100 match to the
murders um across the board and so it's definitely definitely he's the one wow yeah he lived there
for 30 over 30 years in that house well i i only found out about all this because one of my jobs uh at work is to like
um do our like twitter updates and all that and so i went on twitter and one of like the trending
things like east area rapist and i was like why on earth is this trending and i was like this is
a weird time but i'm gonna have to go look at this and so i like clicked and everyone was talking
about it which is funny because you texted me like did did you know? And I was like, oh, um, since 530 in the morning, I've been in this just like deep hell hole.
I found out at like 11 or whenever I texted you, it was when I found out.
And then you were like, oh, I'm not doing any work today.
I'm literally like ready for the conference at noon.
And I was like, there's a conference at noon.
I've been staring at the fox 40 like like streaming soon for
like an hour and a half knowing it's not even coming yet but just like waiting and the twitter
oh my god it's nuts and a lot of people have so we had three adult daughters and a lot of people
did their like reddit sleuthing and like found the daughter's professions and stuff and it's like a
little bit fucked up because like they had no idea and yeah can you imagine like what those three
daughters are now going through and the family i mean they're victims in their own right you know
and it's like we don't need to be plastering their fucking professions all over the internet i think
one of them was like a professor like they're very established adult i mean they're and that
poor girl like now has to like i'm sure people
are going to be horrible and like for some reason blame them or say like you know they're horrible
things tracked down right they're being right exactly like they're being attacked they don't
like they just found out their dad was this guy like chill the fuck out they've had enough they
didn't the poor wife yeah so the wife that gave birth to three of his children so
so it was an ex-wife poor bonnie oh well bonnie where's bonnie no no so he was engaged to bonnie
and then that broke off i know but poor bonnie like if bonnie hears about this even if they're
not together i'm sure bonnie will hear listen bonnie bonnie will hear about it oh my god poor
everyone that's ever known him.
Yeah, poor fucking.
And poor victims.
Let's also remember that.
Poor everyone that actually had to meet this guy at the worst. Did you see in the press conference when the brother of one of the victims.
So it was the brother of one of the victims and his wife.
So his brother and sister-in-law had been killed in i believe 1980 by the golden state killer and he
was at the press conference and he basically scolded he said like i do remember this thank
you to the thank you to law enforcement for figuring this out but also like everyone can
finally sleep well he said like shame on you for not utilizing dna in the right way and being able to like yeah do this better and then he basically
said like to all the victims uh sleep well tonight he won't be coming in your window and it was just
like the most chilling there was an article i read about um the youngest girl that he attacked who
was 13 and like his her sister was in the room and her dad was in like or they were like in down the hall yeah and
she said that um they're like she never spoke to any of the other victims but she knew that all of
them were like celebrating together like she like without like ever speaking to them she knew that
everyone was like thinking of each other today it's just heartbreaking and so at least at the
very least they get some closure on that and the family
members i mean and like if you listen to the book or read the book it's like the number of just like
marriages and lives that were ruined even if people survived you know like it ruined marriages
like people weren't able to look at each other they just literally couldn't look at each other
just even have sex again ever with anyone or like sleep comfortably or just yeah just the trauma of it and not and so finally at least hopefully he like gives a reason like he
like yeah says something soon like makes a statement of why he fucking did it and he's on
suicide watch so like think like hopefully they can make sure he doesn't fucking do anything stupid
before he's yeah held accountable for his shit you know anyway that's my rant and i keep refreshing
twitter so okay we'll see if anything else happens but yeah crazy crazy your cat oh i have a kitten
her name is juniper and we love her her name is juniper slash juni slash june geo and juniper
geo and june geo and junie whatever you prefer
i was geo and junie that's fine junie it's so cute g and jew oh nope well
whatever it's like from bobsburgers jju
it's like oh you're my angel dust nope that's a drug nope that's a race of person um uh well eva and i met juniper
at the same time we both bonded on our stomachs trying to get the cat to hang out with us but
she's still a little skittish she let us play with her a little bit i forcefully grabbed her
and made her let me hold her she was fine she hung out for a little bit geo i'll tell you your
question everybody
geo is not into it geo's pissed he was like i'm an only child and i don't approve of anything i get
it i'd be the same way m would understand yes geo and i will bond as only children yeah m showed up
and i could already tell geo was like look what's happening in my house he looked frazzled he was
like someone needs to hear me when i say help. Get this little white ghost out of my house.
S-O-S.
He hates it.
He hates it.
And to answer your question, also, a lot of people are like throwing out names.
We considered all of them.
Some people said Casper and we almost named her Casper.
Are we even going to mention that I also suggested casper on my own i was gonna say
i can't remember if you said ghost or casper i said casper like the ghost but casper like the
cat that's true i forgot about that and then i said spirit because it's alcoholic and she looks
like a ghost because she's white so i tried casper for a while and it just didn't i also said
perseco that's a good one and muscato all right all right all right all right all right okay okay
i tried to think alcohol and ghost we tried them all and my brother was like stop with the alcohol
and i was like okay it was m's idea but so casper i tried and i was like cassie like i tried it but
just juni just a june it just like worked better and someone had suggested on the Facebook group, like, oh, when you were reading Chio's
Geoscope, you said, oh, Scorpio, Jupiter's in your house this week, this month.
And someone was like, why is she not naming the cat Jupiter?
Like Jupiter's in your house and will help you adjust to new circumstances.
And I was like, that's fucking perfect.
So Jupiter, but Juniper.
But then I was like, Juniper's like an easier nickname but juniper but then i was like juniper's like
like an easier nicknamey cute and i've always liked the name june all right junie and also
emma and i were born in june so so it's still got that little narcissistic flair little vain
little cute jupiter juniper june same thing junie i think of junie b jones the book yeah the best
book except amelia bedelia
well we won't talk about it um we're never gonna stop otherwise probably the most advanced book i
ever read oh really you were able to read it i wasn't even halfway oh that's amazing anyway um
and cosby okay let's talk about bill Cosby Sorry Bill Cosby was convicted
Cheers
On all counts
Clink
Yep
Congratulations
We're happy you're gone
Goodbye
Get out
Get out
Also new kitten
What else do I have on here
Alcatraz
Oh shit okay
Jesus Christ guys
This is such a long episode
Should we just bring that up next week
Should we
We'll bring up Alcatraz next week guys
We're gonna talk about Alcatraz next week
Because this is way too long already Which means Christine and I can't talk About next week guys we're going to talk about alcatraz next week because it's way too long already which means christine and i can't talk about the one thing
i desperately want to talk about with her for another week sorry it's fine it's fine i just
want to add before we get on to this shit is that wine and crime our episode comes out this tuesday
yes may 1st yes listener episode comes out the same. It's going to be a doozy of a day
for you. And
that's a, what day is that? A Monday? Tuesday.
And a day before that you get a whole
episode from us. You also get a Facebook
live video from us. Jesus. Guys, you
are just going to get covered in content.
Stop asking so much of us.
We're also going to be doing
our first
fan mail video.
Extravaganza.
We've already done one.
Yeah, but this is like a whole month's worth of stuff.
Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
And we're going to start posting that video once a month as well.
On Patreon.
On Patreon.
So if you donate a certain amount.
And now we have someone to videotape us.
So it's not Em and I passing the camera back and forth.
Right, right, right.
So we're also
going to be doing that
this weekend.
We're doing that
after our Facebook Live video
so you can expect
that to get posted soon.
3 p.m. today
when this comes out.
Facebook Live,
3 p.m. Pacific Standard Time.
Cool.
Hopefully you're there.
Ready?
Oh, God.
Oh, my God, yes.
Please start talking
because I'm just so worked up.
Okay.
You want to take a guess what I'm going to talk about?
You're going to get wrong.
I just want to hear what you have to possibly say.
Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
I guess that it's a haunted toy.
No.
Although I wish.
There's just not enough haunted toys.
Guys, that's probably a good thing.
I guess so, but like, wow, it's running me out of business.
You guys are cleaning me out.
I don't have a lot of haunted toys left he's cleaning me out gosh now i gotta start talking
about aliens and shit just to keep up oh aliens is that the topic no not yet i got real excited
not yet well then don't tease us like that okay it's a little lengthy but i think everyone's
gonna really get a kick out of it i was thinking about doing this for our live show are you looking around what is it I really need everyone's validation right now
um I'm mad that I'm doing it today I wanted to do it for a live show but I also just want to do it
so hopefully I find something just as good for the live show also I want to do this while I'm
like conscious and we all know I'm gonna black out at the live show so probably better to just do it now what is it let's talk about the nine circles of hell what the fuck yeah i just wanted to talk about it so
so uh i'm not talking about a ghost this time around but i was like you know what
let's fucking go let's fucking go there hell yeah let's go hell yeah
oh everyone pointed at me and i was like why is everyone looking at me
um okay so i tried to print out a little chart for you oh thanks because there's quite a lot
i learned that there's not just nine circles of hell there's 24 regions so we're gonna be doing
quite a globe trot i tried to print this out it's very complicated
i don't even know if it's worth it jesus okay abandoned all right sure okay i'll just let's
just i'll use that as a reference when it's needed how about that okay orders okay calm down just take
that away okay um so here's the thing yeah yeah tell yeah, yeah. Tell me the thing. This is based off of Dante's Inferno.
Sure.
In case you haven't figured that out yet.
Yes.
Um, I, it's also a lengthy, lengthy story that I have brutally chopped down.
I mean, you didn't read the book, right?
Well, fuck no.
I just said Emilia Bedelia is the best i've ever done so um what if you read don hayes in front but you couldn't finish what if instead of a
geoscope i just read like a snippet of amelia baddily every week like just a quick quote
wait actually i'm gonna do it okay write that down even um so um when you stop yelling at her
she's gonna keep um grow embittered toward us so here's the
thing it's very lengthy i would literally if i wanted to do this justice i would have to
recite an entire fucking book to you don't do that so i know i'm gonna miss very heavily
crucial parts oh so what we're saying is don't tweet us like you forgot yeah don't tell us that
this is inaccurate i fucking know um i also i just took
out all of the parts where they like in between each circle they like have their own trip and
they talk to these certain people and he notices certain people at certain circles of hell like
i i avoided all that i just we're all here for the torture and types of punishments that the
devil likes to whip out so that's what i that's what we brought to the table that's what we're
all here for we're all here for the grotesque part. Think of it as like Krampus again. Yeah we're here for like what the golden
state killer is going to experience. Yeah that's so here are all of our options guys. Okay vote
cast your votes. Cast your votes. Where's he going? It's like American Idol call 1-800 email and that's
why we drink at gmail.com cast your vote. Where he going i was gonna say don't do that but now eva's doing email so you can do that okay if you if you want eva to not quit
please don't actually cast your votes because we'll literally get thousands and eva's gonna
leave and then we have we can't it's i honestly i can't breathe just thinking about it so
just do it in your mind and in your heart and we'll hear you so we got you um a quick snippet of like what the fuck's
going on in dante's inferno just so everyone like has an idea of how we don't even know what's okay
so dante's inferno uh is obviously about dante in the 14th century and inferno is actually a
the first part of a three-part epic poem. So this whole book,
there's literally fucking three of them.
Fun poem.
Really, if I wanted to do this justice,
I'd have to recite three books in 20 minutes.
So this is why no one's getting
what they want out of this.
Totally.
The three-part epic poem is called
La Divina Comedia,
which is the divine comedy.
Right.
Okay.
Wow, you know so much.
Listen, I went to catholic school
wow they teach you a lot there i know about the devil i'll tell you what okay let's see how much
you know um so dante in this story he is lost in um some dark woods where he is attacked by
three different beasts which are allegory allegorical a leopard lion and she-wolf oh sure don't know why i can't
just be like a gender neutral wolf but the fuck ever 14th century we can update it to 2018
standards yeah okay the gender neutral leopard my favorite um also there's all of this analysis
that i would love to delve into but i i just shouldn't it would
take too much time that each of them represent different things and but they're just i just
don't have the time they're just like animals just fucking google it also i do want to preface
this with we are going back to old school 1300 oh no i mean i mean we're back to like the 14th
century in this story but like me telling the story is old school high school m because my
two main sources were fucking cliff notes in wikipedia so oh the part where you go okay this
is a presentation that i made in eighth grade that i'm just gonna like i literally the my like
initial muscle memory took me right back to spark notes online and i just just was like
dante's inferno and i just i mean you know what it got me through high school and it
got me through college and it got me through grad school I'm certainly gonna you have a master's
degree couldn't have gotten that wrong anyway so there's this woman named Beatrice who once again
I can't go into details but she is Dante's ideal woman wait no let your mind wander I need details
I do too I literally skipped over it because i knew we didn't have enough time
um i don't know she's got long legs and like steak i'm not sure steak that's what my fucking
ideal woman was like allison are you listening so oh man um oh yeah beatrice bullet three i meant um okay so beatrice uh sees that dante is lost in the woods and calls for an
angel to bring him of all people the roman poet virgil oh yeah me too and uh has the angel bring
virgil to the woods to help guide dante in his journey out of the woods so that no harm will
happen so my ideal woman can also summon a fucking angel
and then the angel can summon the roman poet virgil in the 14th century to help me out of
the woods oh i see how about my ideal woman brings me some fucking gps and a steak and a steak and
we're fine yeah that's my ideal woman actually and her name is allison oh she's a cutie okay so the only way out uh of these woods by the way sure is through hell well
i mean obviously obvious so uh basically all of inferno the synopsis is they journey into the
underworld and underworld into the underwear on into my underwear what i don't know long legs steak long legs and a
pair of underwear i don't know where this is going me either hell it's going to hell that we're for
sure um also let's play the game of which level of hell are we going to oh the one with all the
babies i know there's one with babies no there isn't yes there is well then i didn't do my
research right unborn babies
there's not a no okay maybe that's just maybe it's just not an inferno maybe like just a fun rumor
maybe it's really fun or maybe i didn't do my notes well enough i don't know eva
anyway um google unborn babies, hell. Eva, do your job.
Come on.
Don't make haste.
Make haste, make haste.
Yeah, I was like, no, make as much haste as you possibly can.
Okay.
Which level?
I don't know.
Which level do the dead babies go to?
I want to go to four.
You want to go to four?
Yeah, what's that?
Okay, calm down.
Well, I'm excited now.
I'm trying very hard to not make this like my normal staircase flaw where i like can't figure out
floors floor eight measure if i'm like okay circle six room five subtract two okay okay so your
guess is four i honestly don't remember in what order these are so i'm gonna say i want to be in
level six okay i know i don't but i'm just gonna throw a number out and see where
it takes me deeply want to be like choose your own adventure yeah eva where in hell do you want
to go what number oh three okay okay three four and six i think he was gonna have the best life
probably it would suit us well so um okay oh yeah they get to thought that's where we are
so just entering the world sure sure sure sure, sure, sure, sure.
So Dante and Virgil, they're on this journey.
They have to get through hell to end up back home on Earth because apparently these woods
weren't in fucking Earth.
So they're at the gates of hell and the gates are marked with an inscription that says,
Abandon all hope.
You who enter here.
You who enter here. You who enter here enter here you who enter here okay ye i forgot we're in the 14th century how could you wonder if like satan
like updated it recently i think there's like a modern he was like y'all or he like put the
letter u like omg like come on in you who enter here omg he doesn't say god doesn't he no because he's satan oms
so jesus christ so they enter the outlying region of hell right known as the anti-inferno
oh okay where the souls who in life could not commit either they basically they couldn't
commit to either being good or bad so basically it's limbo essentially oh um so they were like
the people who stood by and watched no this is like purgatory okay got it i'm just not gonna
analyze it just go where they uh they basically it's considered like the first circle of hell because like it's
the outskirts of hell.
And as you get deeper and deeper into hell, you go into like further and further circles.
Okay.
So the first layer is like the nicest layer.
The like less bad one.
Yeah.
And nine is like.
So why did I pick?
Why did I pick six i because
i forgot as we guessed as we guessed eva congratulations you're gonna have a less
shitty afterlife three instead of one so we'll see what happens okay so here's what's going down
uh-huh um when you are in limbo um you are for eternity running non-stop while hornets bite you and maggots drink the fallen blood
what i'm sorry hold on hold on that's my 12th level that's my all the way level what could
be possibly worse i remember there's 24 regions so even though i'm saying nine a lot the answer
is 24 how is this possible that's the worst thing that could ever happen and those are just the
people who couldn't like decide it.
Like,
should I be a good person or a bad person?
And then like,
this is what happened afterwards.
Maggots drink your blood.
Um,
so basically this is like the house of pagans that they call it the house of
pagans,
but anyone who was not baptized or never followed Christ,
this is where they go.
So,
okay.
Oh, I just want to to i'm going to use
this as a reference and make sure they don't fuck anything up sure sure sure sure um and here's the
weird thing about it um so that's like supposedly one story that actually happens like that the
maggots and hornets chase you and eat you and all that but then they also say that this is considered like an alternate heaven because it's the best case scenario of hell
so like you actually while this is happening also live in a castle with seven gates which
symbolizes seven virtues and the whole time that you are living in this anti castle you're struck with grief from the lack of god's present presence
um so apparently you just that's the rest of your life if you aren't super religious if you just
like don't know what to do right okay the hornets decide for you um okay so then at the border of the second circle there's a monster there named
minos and he assigns you to what circle of hell you go to oh so it really was like a purgatory
of like like that's like okay that's step one okay be happy that you never had to meet minos
okay and then minos is like i'm gonna send you and so minos is uh the way
that it was described to me as like he was a like very large cat fox thing oh like the devil's pet
maybe sure he curls his tail around himself a certain number of times and that indicates what
number uh-oh so you're going to keep going you're like, no. So if that boy is coiling, you are going straight to Satan.
I'm just picturing Gia's butt curtain like one, two.
How many swishes do I get? So, um, okay. So like I said, the circles gradually increase into
like a more and more horrible afterlife. Yeah.
Um, and if you get all the way down to the ninth circle of
hell that is the center of earth where satan is held in bondage fuck so they say like you have to
that's why they're walking through hell because they have to get through hell to get to the center
of the earth to then get to earth i don't know how fucking dante got so lost by the way hold on how did he listen i get
they didn't have google maps but like how how many turns do you have to go wrong on to end up
outside of the center of earth backwards through hell and then in some like telekinesis yeah
telepathic angel woods where the leopard of death tries i'm confused
we were just like i think i went too far i think i would probably end up there if i didn't have
ways on my phone but i mean i don't know you know ways can tell me how many cops there are but they
don't tell me how many allegory lions there are and that's the real problem let's bring that up
okay so anyway stupid um okay so yeah remember this is an epic poem so it's pretty fucking epic um so the sin basically everything is like through poetry like it's how everything has a meaning in
this story so the sinners in each circle are punished
basically the more wicked the punishment is proportional to how wicked their crimes were
and how bad their sins were so fair fair so if you just weren't baptized and didn't believe in god
then you only had hornets to deal with you just had to get maggots but if you were like
irons you know you're probably gonna like hang out with like Satan.
So, um, and each punishment is considered a contrapasso, which is symbolism for poetic
justice.
Interesting.
So every, which I'm sure if we wanted to take everyone's fucking time, we could go through
each of these and we could be like, but why is it this?
Like what poetic?
Let's do it. You know what I mean? Why is why is the jaguar like what does the jaguar mean like angelic
what's the symbolism behind him so anyway if you guys care for that i'm sure there's so much out
there there's an atwwd like allegory club or something eva
anyway i don't know what we're looking at you for, but...
Eva, do something with my eyes.
What am I saying?
Make it?
Join it?
I don't know.
So the people who sinned but prayed for forgiveness, they were...
Those were the ones that ended up in purgatory.
So a lot of people are like, what's the difference between purgatory and hell?
It's if you prayed for forgiveness before death.
Oh.
You end up in purgatory and you can essentially get real forgiveness you get like
like you get an op like ideally you would then labor like you would work hard enough to eventually
be able to free yourself from your sins like you get like almost a second chance like you're in the
dog house but you have a chance of like proving yourself that you don't need to go to hell. Okay. Okay. Okay. Like I,
I guess purgatory is the idea of like you're in this endless limbo.
Right.
But according to this,
it's that you're only there until you've proven yourself otherwise.
Oh,
that's comforting.
Yeah.
You know,
so,
um,
Dante's three major categories of sin are symbolized by the three beasts that he saw in
the beginning okay um they are incontinence violence and bestiality and fraud and malice
so incontinence actually in this case back in the 14th century incontinence meant like lustful
gluttonous hoarders wasters wrathful like anything that was basically like one of the seven
deadly sins oh okay seven sins there's seven yes there are some i'm jewish um so you sound like me
with my like english isn't my favorite um the only sin is not gossiping enough so that's what I'm used to. Let's pause so everyone can laugh.
Okay.
They're not done.
Oh.
All right.
What if we just did this forever?
It's died down a little bit.
I don't think so.
I think there's still like a hard chuckle.
If you talk really loud, you can get their attention back.
Wake up, guys.
So.
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. up guys so um so anyone that uh was considered uh in the incontinent category they had a a better version of hell because they were still um within the first four circles of upper hell so they were
in circles two three they were in circles two through five do you have a question no i was in circle three oh okay oh shit yeah i thought we were raising
hands okay wait i just was recognizing myself no no no hold on i'm in circle four so we're both
there you're both there unfortunately for m's not unfortunately for me uh so anyone that's in circle two through five they endure less torment
than those in lower hell and lower hell is located within the walls of the city of dis
wait so you're bricked in basically yes yes like we discussed last week yes okay you're bricked
into the lower level of the deeper levels are organized into one circle for violence which is circle seven
two circles of fraud which are eight and nine so i guess i like just made the cut i'm like on the
outskirts of the walls of the city of dis but i'm still considered in lower hell not upper hell
yeah you tell yourself whatever you want like upper hell there's purgatory then there's upper
hell which is circles two through five and then the outskirts of the city of hell like hell
proper is where i am circle six you're like in the suburbia of hell i'm like on the outskirts
of the county line and then within the walls is circles seven through nine which is like
that's like lower hell you guys are in upper hell.
You're like going to make it.
We're fine.
So we're good.
Oh, my God.
So, like I said, so now pretend we're in the city of Dis, OK, where there's the last three levels are seven, eight and nine.
Seven, eight and nine are the worst ones.
Remember?
I see it.
So circle seven, which represents violence. This is where like it gets tricky so everyone have a little bubble graph circle seven
circle eight circle nine yeah circle seven which represents violence is divided into three rings
okay so from seven there's there's three options from circle eight there's ten jesus and from
circle nine there's four okay and they're all different things like so in circle eight there's ten jesus and from circle nine there's four okay and they're
all different things like so in circle seven there's three rings in circle eight there's ten
ditches and in circle nine there's four regions we're gonna get through all of it it's okay guys
it's okay but basically if you add it all up that means hell is divided into 24 divisions
okay okay so we have done the first circle, which is the maggots.
So now that we have crossed the bridge into lower hell or upper hell.
So we're out of purgatory.
We're out of purgatory and we're starting our descent into upper hell, which is circle two.
Okay.
I'm sorry, guys.
I know this is a lot of numbers.
No, I'm into it.
I'm into it. Okay. This episode is for two. Okay. I'm sorry, guys. I know this is a lot of numbers. No, I'm into it. I'm into it.
Okay.
This episode is for the fast thinkers.
So, in...
Catch up.
Catch up.
So, the second level is...
Does anyone want to guess the sin?
Gluttony.
No.
Almost.
Lust.
I say almost because gluttony's coming up.
I was like...
Okay.
So, the second level so they only
they're like lust each each circle is for a different sin yeah they're like you're fine at
lust like you're fine but then gluttony's worse than that hang on so the the second circle is
lust and your punishment is you are violently back and forth blown first of all lol blown um by strong winds for eternity
preventing you the ability to have peace or go to sleep what a weird because remember everything's
a poem and everything's poetic justice and everything's there's wind and so the strong
wind symbolized the restlessness of a person who is led by desire for fleshly pleasures.
Fleshly pleasure.
Yeah, I chose that, not Wikipedia.
Fleshly pleasures.
I'm just kidding.
Wikipedia did that.
That's my new band name.
Fleshly pleasures.
And then like read a second circle of hell.
It's from Dante's Inferno.
You probably wouldn't even get it.
No.
So, okay. So the third one is gluttony which is where eva is oh that's you so what are you glutton the souls are overlooked
by a three-headed monster named cerberus yes okay here all of the souls eva are you listening this is your future
forced to lie in a vile slush that is produced by a never-ending rain of filth and human excrement
what the vile slush symbolizes personal uh degrid. We still can't fucking do that word.
Personal degradation of one who overindulges.
So it's literally smothering you to represent like you like not like taking in excess.
How much a lush you are.
Like how much you're willing to like put in your body right now.
Why am I not that?
Listen.
That's me.
Also, while this is happening, while literal shit is raining on you until you're drowning in human shit,
the three-headed monster Cerberus that I mentioned, he's guarding you guys from leaving.
And he is mauling and flaying you with his claws as you howl like dogs.
And you're just forced to lie in this slushy poop.
Hey, it's not me it's her
i'm number four get ready she says she can stay okay eva um scale of one to ten are you satisfied
with how your life turns out i feel like she's wise she's like i think she's like it's like a
game of chess it's a game of strategy it's like i may hate it but i might actually really appreciate
it later i don't love it but also i'm not gonna say no just yet yeah it could get worse let's see if
this reference says anything else oh no bombarded with human excrement great okay so we're on board
okay okay here's the fourth circle you ready christine is that me that's you greed oh so uh greed funny enough is divided into two groups oh so it's between hoarders and
spenders the people who don't let anything go and the people who just give everything away when they
don't even have like when it's not efficient for them okay um so what they do is the hoarders
they are forced to push heavy boulders for eternity into the center of a circle no i'd
rather go to the experiment rain the spenders which one would you be a hoarder or spender
i well i don't know is spender like you give it away or is it like you spend it on shit to buy
for yourself i guess i'd be greed though oh well this is great fuck um i guess hoarder if you want
everything like it's basically
do you take hers do you take or give i give okay then you're a spender okay so the hoarders are
constantly pushing a heavy weight and heavy stones into the center of a circle the spenders have to
then take those bowlers and push them back out and so for eternity you're just so either one's
an equal fucking nightmare it doesn't even matter if
you want to move into the circle or out of the circle which one i pick it's just like a constant
just you're just rolling a boulder for eternity so it's like sisyphus yeah it's basically the
whole idea of it is that it symbolizes your selfish drive for fortune during your lifetime
jesus it's also guarded by the ruler of the
underworld pluto oh fun fact we're learning mythology he's just bitter that it's not a
planet anymore oh you know what that's actually a valid point i think you look into that um okay
so write that down write that down so the fifth circle of hell is anger oh boy let me just double check my sources here yes yes yes okay we're all
this is squared away geo's punishment oh probably right now right now we'll have to warn him about
the fifth circle circle of hell yeah with a kitten so basically all of the souls here depending on
what type of anger they had they fight each other on the surface of the river of sticks which by the
way is in this storyline the river of sticks is just coated in garbage which is not how i was raised with the river of sticks was
but whatever so apparently in this one it's like a horribly rotten smelling so it's like all the
rain that rained all over eva yeah it's now pouring into the water like an offshoot yeah
and if you are an aggressive
angry person, you
and everyone else who is ever an aggressive angry
person are fighting each other on top of
the water. Like you're just running through a river.
On top of the water. Like not walking on water
but like you're sledging through the water and trying to beat
each other up. That sounds fun. For eternity.
While the passive people
who are passively angry their entire lives
That's me also.
Which is fucking Megan from seventh grade.
Fucking Megan, what bitch?
Those are the sullen angry ones.
And they, because they were passive and never did anything with their anger, they are slowly sinking in the sewage mud and gurgling underneath the surface.
Dude, that's...
And not able to breathe.
For sure, me forever.
While the active angry
people are literally trampling over them fighting with other people oh my so like imagine like
everyone's had this experience at least once where you're in the ocean then like the tide comes and
you can't get out of the tide and it's like holding you under out of control imagine that but dirty
garbage sewage and people are fighting on your back but for eternity and you're like oh i'm not
even gonna die to remove myself from this but like you feel you're for eternity you're like oh i'm not even gonna die to remove
myself from this but like you feel you're gonna die you're like i'm already dead okay the sixth
circle of hell this is where i am guys oh m's turn this is yay um yes oh this is a good one so
heretics that's totally correct that's totally the outskirts of the city of dis
and um the demons of hell guard the gates here and literally for my entire life if i end up here
i will be sitting in a coffin that is um on fire just burning forever that is um on fire that is um uh yes on fire
so anyway we've gone through the six simple ones wait that's it you're just in a coffin on fire
oh yeah that's it oh there's nothing more than that that's it um and also what was your sin
uh heresy okay so like you're just like we're just gonna say you're fine i leave
you it's like fine like we've got other things to attend to it's like we're guys garbage rain and
yeah yeah but so like i said and that's just the six of the nine we're about to get into the more
complicated actual city of death the like lower hell we didn't even make it that far okay so
here's the thing i know that i just want to
preface for everyone again i know that there's so much more i literally just went through fucking
two-thirds of a whole book so like so much happened in between that of like all their
travels and who they talk to and all the symbolism is all in there allegory it's all there so if you
are interested in what i'm saying which you're a kind of a
lunatic if you're not um by all means go pick up this fucking book and read it it's a doozy
book club eva no it's a thing goodreads.com jess i'm not gonna i'm not gonna make anybody
read fucking dante's inferno i'm just saying, if you need a good light read in the bathroom, you know, this will really
get you spooked. So,
okay. No comment.
Who's ready for the seventh circle of
hell, also known as the Plane of Fire?
Let's send Blaze, though. Eva's ready.
Oh. Are you and Blaze in a
fight? Sounds like it. No, I'm just thinking
who else can I send? There's Blaze, Alexander,
Allison. Uh-huh. You can send
Allison. I don't need her.
Let's send Allison first.
Okay.
Allison?
We'll send Blaze and Allison
into the next one.
Yeah, she's fine.
She'll make it out.
She'll be fine.
Okay.
Okay, Allison.
Where are you going?
So seventh circle is violence.
Oh, my.
This is divided into three rings.
Okay?
Okay.
Everyone with me?
The next three things I talk about
are all in the same circle.
Sure, sure, sure.
So imagine like a dart target you know how it's like like a bullseye yes think of a bullseye so there's a dart target how about everyone goes and fucks themselves because i was
trying really hard i was trying to think of the word bullseye and it just wasn't hitting i just
like how you went a dart target i was like if i basically i was using your ears as like a google search engine i was like if i say enough
words kind of correct the right thing will show up it worked it did so bullseye i just kind of
caught it a little late okay so bullseye bullseye um target i know you were right with target that
makes okay so bullseye you know how it's like multiple circles? Yes.
Okay.
So seventh circle, three rings.
So think of an outer ring, middle ring, inner ring.
Right.
The outer ring is, these are all different rings of violence that have to do with a different
type of violence.
So the outer ring is violence against neighbors.
The middle ring.
Like others, basically.
Okay. Violence towards others. The middle ring is violence against neighbors the middle ring like others basically okay violence towards others
um the middle ring is violence against yourself and uh inner ring is uh violence against god art
and nature what so hang on let's let's get into it it's just gonna be quiet so the outer ring
violence against others uh this includes murderers war makers um tyrants of any kind
basically you know i just allison in her prime allison is a fucking tyrant half so uh basically
here there's a river of boiling blood and here's here's a's, here's a little quote. Here's a little quote.
As they wallowed in blood during their lives. So they are immersed in the boiling blood forever.
Each according to the,
each according to the degree of his guilt.
So basically like based on how bad your sin was,
how hot the blood will be that you boil in.
They just like change the fucking temperature.
And it's like different jacuzzis of blood oh
gross and so not only that but centaurs are net are guarding the entire ring so even if you try
to swim out and get out if you float too high to the surface in the boiling blood and they think
that you're not like sinking enough they will shoot arrows at you oh a horseman will be like
no yeah stay yes so if you
like float to the top they shoot arrows so it's like do you want to get shot or do you want to
like just let yourself drown in the blood boil in blood forever so that's if you are if you hurt
other people if you hurt yourself which we apparently is worse well because that's like
the ultimate sin according to the bible it's committing suicide the ultimate because apparently it's not the worst right well not according to this i guess
but just whatever just shoot it's bad enough listen i'm a centaur shooting holes in your
theories that's all so okay anyway middle ring if you uh If you are violence towards yourself. Sure.
This is, they put you in the wood of suicides, which I'm, we don't need to make funny, but I'm just, I'm just reading, reading the notes.
The wood of the suicides in which the souls of the people who attempt to commit suicide,
who have attempted or committed.
Oh my God.
I know.
And so people who have gone through that oh my god i know and um so people who
have gone through that this is where you'll end up i was on circle six so i'm not too far from
you apparently um wait this is where i end up yeah i'm in circle six you're in circle three
no i was four oh you were four eva's three why am i here you're not here oh i thought you said
this is where i'll end up this is where i'll end up this
is where they'll end up apparently who people in the middle ring oh okay you were looking at me
i'm so cute right across from me um okay so apparently you turn into trees
sorry which seems like the least worst problem oh Oh, that sounds great. Yeah.
I don't see the... Everyone should turn into a tree.
I feel like that's, like, not the worst thing to happen.
Oh, wait.
You turn into trees that get fed on by harpies.
What are harpies?
Oh, Christ.
Those are those, like, horrible, like...
Oh, those.
So...
Oh, hideous clawed birds with the faces of women?
I went like this.
Thank you.
Where's the face of a woman?
They're demon birds that are women that, like, claw you.
Okay.
There it is.
Yes.
Yes.
Thank you, Eva.
A blonde.
No.
Did I not make that face?
Yes, you made the face of a blonde thank no um so
you know what shut up so um so that's what happens the harpies attack the trees it was nice with the
trees i thought that's where we were going i was like oh you like turned into a tree that's great
it was great for a minute um okay so guess not okay entering where apparently so i was confused
why being violent against God,
art and nature would be like so much worse than like murdering people.
Um,
but apparently according to Virgil,
um,
art is created because of nature and nature is created by God.
So art is essentially the grandchild of God.
And so if you're being disrespectful or violent
towards art then you're being disrespectful to god's grandchild i think that's not true towards
art okay well basically the main reason was that art and nature are the only two legitimate sources
of wealth in the 14th century and so they were like if you disrespect either of those then that's
disrespect capitalism yeah yeah okay got it so this is what happens there there are um this is where
blasphemers and sodomites go oh my so here's what's going on with them the blasphemers the
ones who are violent against god they are stretched out on burning sand and they oh and flakes of fire slowly fall from the sky slowly though and they just have to lie
like this and like let the flames hit them but just really slowly just really slowly isn't it
blasphemers or am i wrong bless i thought it was like blasphemy blasphemers okay maybe i'm wrong
then the sodomites who are violent against nature um they are literally just told to run in circles on the burning sand for eternity so there's like
people stretched out with slow flakes of and people around you just running forever i mean
realistically if you're gonna like have to run or lie down forever which would you rather do
exactly exactly and then the usurers is that a a real word? Usurers? Usurers?
They are the people who are violent against art.
Spell it.
U-S-U-R-E-R-S.
Usurers?
Usurers.
Okay.
Well, this is what's going on with them.
They are violent against art and they are literally just crouched and weeping the entire time on the burning sand.
So it's like, would you you rather run lie down or cry i feel like whoever's running this place is just like also in hell because
they're like fuck this i just have all these people crying and weeping for eternity and i
have to monitor them it just sounds like a nightmare yeah i wonder how they're getting
paid to monitor all this awful um okay so now that's the seventh circle of hell
if you're violent towards anyone that's what's gonna happen to you great um eighth circle of
hell is fraud oh my the eighth circle of hell is also the messiest because there's 10 ditches
so here's the thing the eighth circle is called the malabolga which means evil ditches so here's the thing the eighth circle is called the malabolga which means evil ditches
and it's shaped like an amphitheater but divided into 10 chunks jesus um with a bunch of bridges
between them so you can walk between each of the ditches that's nice but each ditch causes its own
um hellish punishment so so i make sure that i get all these right
okay there's 10 ditches like i said and the guard is his name is guryon and he is a quote
winged monster with the general shape of a reptile dragon the general general you know
just you know how they're so versatile it's just the average um but he has
the tail of a scorpion oh sure he has hairy arms uh a reptilian body and the face of an honest man
which with a body like that there's nothing honest about him but i'll move on that's how i see men
all together i'm sorry what so okay so he guards the place sure not many people
get through him i think so he's like a winner like you're like oh he was like the jock in high
school it's like god damn it he's just gonna win again he's just the guy where you're like listen
i'll marry him and my life will be fine it'll be like if i saw him at a bar i'd be like look buddy
i don't want any trouble i just want to get my drink and leave. Please leave me alone.
Look, buddy.
Look, buddy.
Look, Garyon.
Okay, so here are the ten ditches.
I'm into it.
Let's go.
Once again, they're each for different sins.
So, if you are a panderer or a seducer, you are in ditch number one.
Uh-oh.
Here you make, the panderers and the seducers make two lines each ditch number one. Uh-oh. Here you make,
the panderers and the seducers
make two lines each,
like they,
panderers,
seducers,
and they march
for eternity
while being whipped
by horned demons.
So that's just
option one.
That doesn't seem as creative,
I feel like.
I feel like they're really,
like they're not.
They're like the hornets
in the beginning.
Like they're getting bored.
They're getting bored here.
At least the people in the beginning had to run that's pretty
fucking awful yeah now they just march walking so then uh ditch two are the flatterers they are
steeped in human excrement oh dear and they are forced to fight each other i think in one of them
um i'm pretty sure they're just like yeah in eva's one that she was also getting rained on by human excrement yeah and this one they're just sitting in it which is worse and fighting
each other though yeah yikes okay so here are the simoniacs they buy and sell religious favors
so like pardons and stuff like that oh the the the what's the word with the i
idiots yeah the one where they would
sell uh things where they'd be like oh god we'll forgive you if you buy this from the catholic
church oh shit sorry guys why did you do this it's gonna drive me crazy it's fine someone's
gonna scream it at me on twitter i'll figure it out okay well those people just know that i know
the word and i'm just drinking too much wine
indulgence thank you eva god indulgence is why we have eva indulgences if you sell indulgences
it was like what the catholic church did back then and they would like charge enormous amounts
of money for people to be like you won't get to heaven unless you buy this indulgence well then
that is ditch three of the eighth circle of hell they are and guess what happens to them they are placed upside down headfirst into holes
with flames burning the soles of their feet okay and the heat of the fire is proportionate to their
amount of guilt sure i imagine that that is specifically exactly what they deserve right
yes then um ditch number four obviously sorcerers sure thing obviously
sorcerers let me just double check here oh yes this is a good one okay so sorcerers does not
just mean witches it also means um like fortune tellers psychics anyone that so us this is
realistically where we're gonna end up up. This is actually us.
Their heads are twisted around on their bodies.
Oh my.
That way they are compelled to walk backwards for eternity
so they cannot try to cheat God and see too far into the future again.
Oh, so they actually believe that they can see.
It's like another symbolism thing.
Oh.
So then ditch number five are bear-ators.
Bear-ators? Cor corrupt politicians sure um i mean we all knew they they would get here so um they are immersed in a lake of boiling tar
which is guarded by demons that are named evil claws cute. They are torn to pieces with Evil Claws' claws and grappling hooks.
That's all.
They just have to sit in boiling tar for the rest of their life as a demon tries to tear them apart.
Get clawed.
Ditch number six are Hypocrites.
They walk around a narrow track weighted down by lead robes.
Okay.
Okay.
Lead robes okay okay lead robes got it um and actually one of the people
that apparently dante saw here was the high priest that advised that we crucify jesus but he has a
very specific punishment here where instead of having to walk around with everyone in a robe
made of lead he himself is crucified to the floor by three large stakes and everyone is walking on top of him.
To the floor?
So imagine people with heavy lead robes walking on top of you forever while you're crucified.
It's not Pontius Pilate, is it?
Mm-mm.
Oh.
No.
I don't remember writing that down.
Kykiaephus?
Okay, never mind. I'm not religious, guys. Please don't even say it. Clearly I am and I don't remember. I didn't write it down. Okay. Okay. I'm not religious guys.
Please don't even say clearly I am.
And I don't even know.
Okay.
So ditch number seven are for thieves where you are bitten by snakes and
lizards who will curl,
curl themselves around you.
Um,
and then once you have been bitten,
you will explode into flames and then rise from the ashes where they bite you again.
What?
Then ditch number eight are for fraud, where basically you are literally just inside a giant flame and burning alive forever.
They're like running out of ideas.
I think so.
It's like their wife was like, dinner's ready.
And they were like, okay, I got to write.
I got to finish this up.
Just like put them on fire.
It's fine.
So the next one is Sours of Discord.
What the fuck?
This one's interesting.
They, these people are hacked and mutilated for all eternity by a large demon wielding
a bloody sword and they must drag their bodies around in a ditch trying to heal.
And once they are healed, the demon will then recut open
the wounds oh my god so they have to like keep reliving the same torn open wounds that's the
most fucked up thing i ever heard so some of them have their tongues cut out and when it's finally
scarred over they just cut more of the tongue off some people's eyes are gouged out and they'll just
keep stabbing them in the sockets and some people apparently are carrying their own decapitated
heads um healing every wound continually heal and reopen the last ditch of the eighth circle of hell
is for falsifiers any version of anyone who's like relatively lied and just as they were this is the
allegory part just as they were a disease on society they are
now each afflicted with a different type of disease so but it ranges all the way from like
a cancer to um a stomach thing to thirst like immense thirst where you think you're gonna die
rabies um and they uh all just have to attack each other and just live like that
for the rest of their life. They also are compelled to have
to, um, like they can't stop
scratching their skin until their skin comes off.
Okay.
Okay. Okay. Sure.
So then now we're at the ninth circle of hell.
Oh god. Which is also known
as the pit of hell. I'm there.
Okay. So the ninth layer of hell is for
treachery okay and so this is divided into four regions of the pit of hell right um so this has
four chunks and this is again based on how serious the sin was, is how tough it gets.
But the fun fact about the pit of hell, because when you think of hell, you think of fire.
But the ninth circle of hell is all made of ice.
Whoa.
It's like Greenland and Iceland.
Yes.
This is actually Greenland.
So there's a frozen icy lake called Cocytus.
Okay. Cocytus. I don't know who cares um maybe satan who cares i mean um and then okay so they're in a frozen icy lake and then each of
the four um like levels of your sin based on how bad your sin is is how deep in the ice you are
so and also each um region is named after one of the uh famous people who actually did this sin
so round one is called cana which is named after cain who killed his own brother. Yes. And this is for traitors or people who betray their family.
Okay.
And here they are almost submerged into the ice water,
and they have their necks and heads out of the ice
and are allowed to bow their heads to protect them from the wind.
Well, that's nice.
So that's the best that they get.
And that's the best that it does get.
Then the next one is called Antinora.
Okay.
After Antinora, who was a trojan
soldier who betrayed the city of the greeks because this is for people who betray their
community so that's worse than betraying your family yeah so there's betrayal of family betrayal
of community betrayal of guests which i don't understand and then then Betrayal of God. Oh, okay. So, the Antinora.
So, he betrayed, for people who betray their community or their country or anything like that, like treason, basically.
Oh, okay.
They have, instead of having their necks available so they can bow their heads, they only have their heads above ice, but they can't bend their necks, so they have to deal with the windshield.
Okay.
Also, they have to eat each other if they want to survive.
Oh, okay.
You know how it is.
That's specific.
So then round three is Ptolemy, named after Ptolemy, who invited his father-in-law and
sons over and then killed them.
Right.
So betrayal to your guests.
killed them right so betrayal to your guests and these people have to lie on their backs on top of the ice um while they're or not on top of the ice but like basically they're floating in the water
and the only thing like they're looking up but still frozen in the water you know what i mean
okay yes they're on the surface like their face and their toes are revealed oh i, I see. So there's a merge except for their face
and toes.
And this allows them
to cry,
but the tears
freeze on their face
and they can't wipe it out
because their hands
are under the ice.
So they can't even blink
and they can't even cry.
What in the fuck?
And then one of the souls
that Dante crossed here
said that even if you are still alive after you sin, your soul has actually already died and a demon hasn't taken over your body.
So like even if you have committed a sin and you think you're alive, your soul has already actually gone to whatever circle of hell you're going to end up at.
Even if your living body is still living
it's just inhabited by a demon so he said like i committed a sin and my body and my soul came down
here and i've been here ever since but my body died 10 years later i just wasn't in control of it
so that's a fun little theory okay um okay so the last round of the last circle of hell sure it's called judaica okay named after
judas and so this is a betrayal to god where in this area it is completely silent and all of the
sinners are fully encapsulated in ice distorted twisted in every conceivable position and cannot even speak just have to stare into ice for eternity
so that's all the circles of hell regions of hell all 24 but what happens at the end
spoiler alert it's a wild time it's really not not after that so um it's been a wild time anyway
dante and virgil they make their way through all nine circles of hell. They've reached the center of hell.
And here they meet Satan himself.
Oh, man.
After the last realm of hell.
And Satan is described as a three-headed beast with six bat-like wings made of leather.
Gross.
He weeps from his six eyes.
He weeps from his six eyes and his tears are made of a mixture of bloody froth and pus from the sinners as they pour down his three chins.
What?
He also.
Three chins?
He also.
Well, he has three heads.
Oh, I thought.
So six eyes, three chins.
He was just real fat.
All the way down his double chin.
Not double chin, but but triple got it so he um in each of his mouths he is chewing for eternity the three ultimate sinners
brutus cassius and judas wow and judas has a particularly bad chewing in his mouth okay
so anyway no so brutus is being chewed on cassius is being
chewed on another mouth and then in the center mouth is judas but judas is getting chewed even
harder than everyone else because he's the ultimate ultimate sinner and uh he is being
gnawed on while lucifer is also flaying him around from left to right. So his body is like getting broken left and right.
And Lucifer is clawing and shredding him to pieces over and over again for eternity.
Cute.
Okay.
Fun fact, all interpretations of the three faces of Satan have to do with the perversion of the Trinity.
have to do with the perversion of the Trinity because Satan is impotent,
ignorant, and full of hate,
which are all in contrast to God being all powerful,
all knowing and all loving.
There are also thoughts that the three faces,
because one of them is red,
one of them is yellow,
one of them is black.
And it's supposed to be like the main original colors of people.
Those are the colors of Germany.
Oh,
okay.
So he's also German.
Makes sense.
Where's Hitler in this?
No,
he never got mentioned.
No comment.
Also,
he wasn't around in the 14th century.
So where do we think he ended up?
Let's talk about it later.
He and Irons are down there together.
Okay,
good.
Um,
okay.
So last bullet,
um,
Virgil and Dante.
This is also how,
you know,
I got this from fucking spark notes because even,
I don't know what this means.
I just decided to throw it in and see what other people go for it i'm just going to read it
as is virgil and dante begin their escape from hell by clamoring down satan's ragged fur feet
first and when they reach satan's genitalia the poets pass through the center of the universe
and emerge a little before dawn on the morning of easter
sunday 1300 a.d this sounds like a weird bad screenplay that eva had to read while she was
like satan's genitalia happy easter like helping a screenplay competition in los angeles like
no like read the log line no this is not where's. Where's the center of the universe? Oh, it's through Satan's dick.
Surprise, surprise.
And then it's Easter morning.
But it's not a comedy.
It's a drama.
What the fuck?
Okay, so I know that was long.
Sorry, everyone.
But wow, was it good?
Wow, was it an adventure?
It was informative.
I learned a lot about myself.
I learned a lot about Eva too.
I like to think everyone at
least kind of figured out where they're ending up because no one who listens to this is going
to heaven i hope we know that i hope we can all agree we're at least getting rained on by some
excrement but guys um 50 years from now facebook meetup um seventh circle of hell we're all gonna
be there byob And that's that.
As long as I'm allowed to be Y O B.
I don't really mind.
Well,
he was going to be Y R B.
So B Y O B.
Okay.
All right.
B O O B.
She's in the easiest version of hell.
I'm sorry.
All right.
All right.
Let's just have me stop talking.
Your turn.
I'm turning the fan down.
Okay.
Eva, how did you feel about that?
What's your takeaway?
Personally, publicly?
You know, it made me feel like I didn't listen very closely in high school.
Can you imagine if that's what they taught in church?
All of a sudden, I'd be like, oh, we're going to church all the time.
Dude, that is what they teach. Oh, i don't really want to go to church well in catholic
shit when you're a child they're like by the way satan will fucking do all of those things to your
skin off until you die like truly that is what you learn as a child in catholic school or if you live
in germany where they give you fucking children's books about scissor hands that is also accurate
yes okay
they're like we'll cut your thumbs off if you don't pay attention in school and it's like
well then yes i cut away bitch i gotta okay let's talk about my story
okay i feel like we got a like a double feature from you because we definitely
yeah i kind of went on a little little rampage we know you like your rampage it's okay but here's the thing i as you can tell had a
really hard time focusing on anything else this week besides golden state killer right so uh i
went ahead and i had trouble finding a case where i was like i just want to cover this
like i had trouble finding something that i felt like i could put as much energy toward
as researching golden state killer so what i did was i was researching cold cases and i found a
cold case that was solved yesterday shut the fuck up alongside golden state killer and of course it
got no attention because exactly and that's why
i wanted to do it because i was like it deserves some attention even though it wasn't as high
profile right okay so that's what i'm gonna do cool and it is the murder of mandy steingasser
all right so let's go back to september 1993 Travel back. My brother was born that month.
I was one.
Almost 25 years ago.
We're in Tonawanda, New York.
And Mandy Steingasser was a 17-year-old high school senior.
She was happy-go-lucky.
She was really popular and fun and quirky.
She loved animals.
She was really close with her family she loved to
party with her friends and after a night out drinking and partying on september 19th of 1993
mandy vanished and nobody knew where she had gone nobody could find her they spent weeks searching
with no luck the night of the party when police looked into it the she and her
friends had gotten an older friend to buy them bottles of whiskey and rum they went to a house
party and then a rock and roll bar in buffalo sounds like rockin time a rockin time uh where
they were turned away for being underage. So womp. Uh,
but that's the last of any,
that's the last anyone knew of Mandy's activities that night.
Uh,
almost five weeks later.
So we're talking like a month and a half later.
Uh,
she still hadn't been found.
People were still searching.
And then that week,
two young men who were out looking for mushrooms.
Neat. Neat. And then that week, two young men who were out looking for mushrooms, neat, neat, in Lewiston's Bond Lake Park in New York found the body of a young woman in the lake or near the lake uh someone had strangled her and fractured her skull in two
places and the area was actually known as dead man's path because it had been home to several
other attacks throughout the years oh no yeah not a good sign um a 16 and a 12 year old girl had both
died there been attacked there yeah in previous years so that's pretty bananas um so
police immediately suspected mandy's classmate whose name was joe belstat and he was the last
person that mandy was actually seen alive with so about 1 20 a.m on september 20th the night of the
party mandy got into a car at oliver street Fifth Avenue with an 18-year-old male student from her high school.
And his name was Joe Belstat.
Joe insisted to police that Mandy was only in his car briefly and said he dropped her off a few blocks away.
And at the time, theories were all over the place no one knew what happened i mean she was 17
years old and her classmates like didn't know where she was and then all of a sudden she would
turn up not only dead but murdered so everyone at school was throwing around like theories
the i'm i was reading an article where the counselors were like yeah we were just
constantly like we spent the entire year just trying to help students
like cope um that's really sad it really fucked up really sad her family was obviously devastated
her friends were going to school every day like not only knowing that their friend was murdered
but also wondering if their class like make one of their classmates did it yeah like which of their
classmates had done it or like if one of their classmates had done it um and essentially everyone was paranoid
and no one had real answers but the police the whole time were convinced it was joe this
classmate that multiple witnesses had seen putting her in his car and that was the last that anyone
had seen her alive. Excuse me.
So unfortunately, they didn't have enough evidence to bolster their case.
So they just needed to work on collecting enough evidence against him.
For almost 25 years, he was the prime suspect, but they could never quite pin him down.
So among the evidence that they did have so they had like i said the witnesses
who saw them together hours before she disappeared uh he admitted that she had been in his car
but he said he dropped her off a few blocks away he claimed that after she had gotten into his car
she changed her mind about going with him asked to be dropped off so he dropped her off at a nearby church four blocks
away that was his story that's awesome it's awesome i'm just kidding i was like just wanted
to see if something happened great it's really awesome um but police believe he had taken her
to a local lover's lane where things got out of hand and then he murdered her um that's awesome also it's not a new catchphrase
i don't know i don't know what's happening that's our new catchphrase i just wanted to
see if it would stick it's it's doing it for the worst not work not what we need to do that's
awesome i don't know it's not working no okay not yet we'll try something else. Okay. Keep, keep, keep them rolling.
Keep workshopping it.
Okay.
Just shop it.
Just shop it a little bit.
I think you need to shop it a little more.
Okay.
You'll get there.
Okay.
I'll come up with a catchphrase eventually.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Just write that down.
We'll work on it.
You write it down.
You write that down.
Uh, so, uh, he said he dropped her off at a church, but police thought he took her to
Lover's Lane and murdered her. So her so uh also police had witnesses who saw joe cleaning his car at a coin operated car
wash at two in the morning that night basically within the hour that they believe uh mandy's body
had been dropped off at the muddy part of the lake. Very convenient. But Joe continued to insist it wasn't him.
And according to police, Joe asked his friends to lie about his whereabouts after he picked up Mandy.
And told his friends to tell the police that he had been in Canada.
So they did.
Oh.
Yeah, they lied for him.
And they told police, at least two out of three told police that joe had been in canada
after uh he had picked up mandy in his car but the second police were like hey by the way this
is a murder investigation all of them were like okay fuck this never mind we don't want to be
involved like our friendship only runs so deep totally send him to the eighth layer oh i didn't mean canada i meant he was at
the crime scene i mean he was outside a muddy lake is that same thing yeah so basically they all
caved under police pressure um and they actually told police that they had seen their friend joe
coming back from the car wash having washed his car inside and out between 2 and 2 30 a.m that night after mandy went missing convenient
convenient joe told police that he had dropped mandy off with a person an individual at the
church okay but when he described the person police, oh, he basically made up a composite
of people he knew into one person.
Okay.
And was like, oh, that's the guy.
Like, just combine, like, qualities.
Like, brownish, greenish, bluish eyes.
Totally.
And was like, oh, you were, like, sports clothes.
Whatever.
Like, he combined qualities of people he actually knew.
Like, he has skin and hair.
Yep.
And he spoke a language. Oh god i know that guy yeah that
guy yeah yeah yeah so they were like this is not verifiable in any sort of way um so joe also failed
two lie detector tests one was administered by state police and another was administered by the FBI. And he failed both of them.
Authorities said he walked out of a police office during the first polygraph test because he was upset by the tone of the questioning.
Don't you hate it when they get you there?
Sassy.
During the second test, a polygraph operator felt the subject gave untruthful answers to two questions these are
the questions that they felt joe lied about question one are you involved in the disappearance
of mandy and are you withholding any information joe answered no to both questions and those were
the two questions that both times showed as lies gotcha but all of the above was circumstantial polygraphs don't count
great you know that's awesome people saying i saw him at the car wash doesn't count like the da was
never gonna move forward with this case so they just didn't have anything. And they spent decades trying to pin him down and they just weren't able to do it.
So different from the Golden State Killer case, like they had no idea who it could possibly be.
In this one, they were like, we know who it is.
We just can't find them.
Right, right, right.
We can't pin him down.
So they never stopped looking into him they never closed the
case because they knew who their suspect was um and joe himself told which by the way he had the
same name as golden state killer joe joseph just just saying just saying wasn't even on purpose
your name is joseph i'm i'm weary of you you got wary wary. Yeah, weary. Okay. What's happening?
You said weary.
Oh, well, we also know I say ZipRecruiter, so.
Sorry.
No surprise there.
Sorry.
Listen.
I just slur my words and I'm fucking sober all the time.
English isn't my first language, so who am I? You get it.
Who am I to say what is correct or what is not?
I don't know.
You could be also very, I'm weary of him as well.
Okay.
Okay. So, this guy joe joseph he told buffalo news in 2016 quote this is great fab ready i don't want them to stop investigating
i want them to find out who did this but it wasn't me as long as they keep looking at me as a suspect they're
never going to find out who did it because it wasn't me the former classmate joe spent time
in prison in the late 1990s after he was convicted of stealing and burning a car oh i did that yeah
everyone does it's just teenage years what level of hell does that send you to, though? Car arson.
Carson?
Carson.
Yeah.
Yep.
I mean, really, at that point, it's like a pick-your-own kind of game.
Oh.
I want the one where I'm lying down and not moving.
Yeah, you're just like flakes of fire.
It's fine.
Falling, yeah.
Yeah, that's what I want.
Okay, me too.
Joke's on him.
I'm into that.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. it's fine falling yeah yeah that's what i want okay me too jokes on him i'm into that um so he spent time for carson uh he currently lives in the buffalo area has a family of his own kids wife etc he said quote was i a screw-up back in the day yes i was but i never did anything on this order
i have a beautiful wife and young kids of my own i have a good job these investigations all these
years i've been through pure hell over this i'm not the guy they make me out to be pure hell like
pure like ninth circle kind of pure ninth circle like judas level contorted body he's in satan's
center mouth wow yes that's rare satan is crying blood and pus all over him pus into his contorted
body he's experienced it he's saying he's been there. So I'm going to have to believe him.
He's saying other people put him through it.
He didn't even do it himself.
But the only way he's here today
is because he climbed down Satan's genitals
and got to the center of the universe.
And now here we are.
And you know what?
It wasn't even because he denied God.
It was like he did nothing wrong.
I mean, it wasn't even a big deal.
He's just being a baby.
The rest of the world did it to him. So that's how it always goes yes it's never anyone's fault except everyone else's here's
the thing he was lying i know who to thunk i know who to thunk what's the level for liars there's
like an early level for liars something about maggots oh right there's like maggots and
like um maybe excrement right raining i mean eva you know more about excrement than we do so
she's the expert on excrement she's the expert excrement expert excrepert nope why wasn't that
on your resume eva excrement expert you're fired yeah sorry okay let's go on about five months ago from today wow so this
happened in 1993 about five months ago prosecutors reopened the case to take another look at the
evidence um they had more sophisticated dna technology obviously, so they were like, we want to reopen the case and look at the evidence again with new technology.
Yesterday, April 25th, 2018, same day Golden State Killer was arrested thanks to forensic testing.
Police arrested Joseph H. Belstadt outside his home in Tonawanda on his 43rd birthday for for the murder of mandy happy birthday happy fucking
you got what you deserve guess what iran's golden state killer just started celebrating
his retirement last week happy fucking retirement happy retirement what are you gonna do with all
the time off i'm gonna hang out with this motherfucker in the ninth circle of hell is what they're going to do.
So he was arrested about 6, 10 p.m. Tuesday by officers.
They approached his car as he returned home from work as a tow truck driver.
He apparently rolled up his windows and locked the car doors as they were coming to arrest him.
This won't get them
they'll he literally closed the windows and locked the doors and just sat there
and apparently they had they'll go away they'll knock on the window a little bit and they'll just
head out it's like that little kid thing of like if i cover my eyes they can't see me right yeah
so apparently they had to tell him it doesn't matter whether you close your windows
they literally said it would make no difference whether or not your windows are open or closed
your doors are locked to your rest like it's not gonna next time like satan's at my door
i'm just gonna roll the window up it's like i'm just gonna be like no you up. I'm just going to be like, no, you can't. I can't actually get to the icy pond right now.
My windows are closed.
I can't put my face in the pond.
Yeah.
I actually can't eat the other people around me because my doors are locked.
So try.
Good luck getting some maggots in here.
Yeah.
Waterproof.
Don't even think about it, bucko.
My Ford has waterproof windows my subaru
does a whole lot of damage let me tell you right now don't even take another step
they literally had to tell him it would make no difference whether or not to whether or not he
was arrested whether his windows were open or closed so finally he was like okay i guess i'll unlock my fucking car
door and they were like thanks uh what a weird exchange what a weird fucking it's like a moment
like a hallway conversation in school like okay thank you like it's like very odd it's like a bad
date i guess arrest me if you have to i try to avoid it in the most awkward way possible, but okay.
Yeah, so the assistant public defender, his name is Dominic H. Saraceno,
and he's the one who's defending Belstadt in court.
So he appeared with Belstadt in court, and he said that,
so his argument is that Belstadt received a letter six or seven months ago telling him that they were reopening the case.
And he's like, listen, if he did it, he would have run.
And he didn't run.
And he's still here.
So weird.
So that's his argument.
Well, good argument, I guess.
Not.
But not really, because he's lived in the same place.
Well, so the Eurons eggs 30 plus years thank
you exactly exactly good point so he said he didn't run he stayed here and that's like his
only argument he has no other argument as to like why he's innocent um so the a retired north So the retired North Tonawanda detective chief named Gabe DiBernardo, who had called the Steingasser murder the most frustrating and upsetting case of his more than 35 year career, said this was one of the happiest moments of his entire life.
He said, for years, I've prayed for this.
Every night I would pray for my own two daughters and then say
a prayer for mandy i knew this beautiful little girl i knew her family her father was my friend
for 50 years and the family was like a really close family friend of his the daughter he said
i watched a video on like a local news site in buffalo and he said um that mandy was like a daughter to him too like it was like
his own daughter he was that close with her father and the family so he said every night he would pray
that this would get figured out and now he's been retired since 1998 and 20 years later it's
finally been solved so this is like a huge moment for him and the whole department
he said he knew the dad richard steingasser for more than 50 years um and was friends with him
but unfortunately richard uh mandy's father died last year at the age of 70 so he wasn't alive to
see that sucks yeah the capture of her murder she had no brothers or sisters
um so her mother lorraine is still alive and is the only surviving member of her immediate family
and still lives in the same home where they grew up where mandy grew up which is just very very
sad just very sad she had no brothers sisters um they she didn't respond any uh
questioning about this she was just like i need space and i want to be alone and fair for obvious
reasons um and d bernardo the investigator said i feel so bad because i always promised richard
and his wife that we would find out who did this but richard didn't survive to see the arrest of her killer which is just really tragic um but belstat joe belstat pleaded not
guilty on wednesday afternoon to the one count indictment before niagara county judge sarah
sheldon who set his bail at 250 000 cash and scheduled his trial to begin September 10th of this year.
Wow.
So same day as Golden State, same day as fucking Cosby.
People are getting locked down.
I guess we're like, I mean, if we're learning anything, it's that if there's a killer on the list,
like look in town, clearly he like lives right here.
Look next door, man.
Yeah.
Clearly he like lives right here.
Look next door, man.
Yeah.
Someone on our fucking Instagram.
I posted a photo of like, oh, I can't stop talking about whatever.
Golden State Killer.
Someone posted he lives on my street.
And I was like, what?
But like people truly.
That's it's such a personal home.
So scary.
Home hitting thing anyway so that's i just felt like i know this is not going to get any coverage because golden state killer is happening the
same day so i wanted to find something that was like she also deserves some justice of like
recognition like totally so that's what we're here for we're just saints actually that christine the
saint we're not going to any realm
of hell what are the realms of heaven because i'm going to that one oh that one there's actually
just a river of the purest wonderful aged wine cabernet there's some gummy bears yes oh that's
all you need yeah it's really all i need my My long legged woman who likes steak. She brings you steak.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sounds good.
That's all I got, man.
That was a wild trip for me.
It's all been a wild time.
Wow.
All right.
Well, thank you guys for listening, I guess, if you're still here.
I'm fired up.
Do you want to tell them where they can find us yeah
okay if i remember all right so check us out on social media we're at atwwd podcast uh you can
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the 1st of May which is
this upcoming Tuesday
we have a wine and crime episode
releasing that same day
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I'm trying.
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Oh,
that's why we drink.com.
That's a thing.
Um,
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Come meet us.
We're going to be there doing a live show.
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live show we've got both of our live shows already sold out um in may and june we don't have any updates for
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we have an update that we things are on the horizon but we don't have details tbd tbd tbd tba
tba that's better okay they're being determined but they're going to be announced. Yes.
TBD slash A.
Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
All right.
And.
By that.
Nope.
One, two, three.
And that's why we drink.