And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 58

Episode Date: August 1, 2021

Christine asked and you delivered (pregnancy pun?) with the creepy, sweet and also downright scary pregnancy stories! This month we've got wild dreams, "monster spray" and even possible black eyed kids so knuckle and buckle for a wild time! Please consider supporting the companies that support us! Download the 5 star-rated puzzle game, Best Fiends FREE today on the App Store or Google Play.Go to HelloFresh.com/drink14 and use code drink14 for up to 14 free meals, plus free shipping!Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/DRINK and get a one-month free trial of Premium Membership!Go to Curology.com/DRINK for a free 30-day trial, just pay for shipping and handling!

she just changed her tune every single week she's got something new to say or the same thing to say in a different way it's insane it's like you know what we get it you want attention a little lady i'm just gonna call her miss zoom at this point because i don't know what else to call her but like she keeps changing it up anyway hi everybody welcome to august um this is sort of beyond i i still feel like we just started this year and now we're officially two-thirds done or we're about to be two-thirds done that's actually like kind of painful um to hear but the weird crazy thing too is that next month there's a solid possibility i will have birthed my child next month so this could be which is like oh um wait you have oh my wait you oh yeah the baby in august at least i mean in september sorry

yeah wow due date is like the 30th of september slash October 1st. So it's like it's like right smack dab in the middle of. So next month is your last listeners episode story as a non mommy. Potentially. Potentially. Potentially. Yes. Which is alarming. So I think that is why I force Eva to find stories about creepy pregnancy stuff.

Good. While you still have a little demon baby you can purge out, you know? Yeah. Oh, God. While there's still a chance for more demonic activity. Well, I wish you luck on your next 18 years. I hope you have a good time. Hey, whenever it happens to you you'll be behind

me so I'll be free before you I know I'm like damn you're at least getting it done getting it over with like you know I'll be like I'll be like living large on a gay cruise with the spirit of Uncle Alan and you'll still be like paying for college or something oh why do I why am I thinking of bakery bakery bakery bakery oh, you said the word bakery, right? No. What did you say? You're going to be somewhere where with uncle Allen? I said I was going to be on a gay cruise with a gay cruise. I know, I know he's barking right now, but I thought in my head, I thought you said bakery and, um, which like, I didn't even think twice about it. I was just like, okay, you and gay uncle. It will also be a bakery probably. Bakery, Uncle Alan, all makes sense. But the fun fact, so while I was with my family, I found out

that my uncle always wanted to run a family bakery because he was inspired by the whole generation before him. So it was my, he's siblings with my grandma. So the whole generation before them was my great grandparents. And they they had apparently there was like four different people in my family who all ran individual candy stores and what wait you were meant to be in this family though i know and also on my dad's side there was a whole um a whole candy store and ice cream shop that's right it's crazy i was like this i this makes sense why they the families came and i hope it's okay that i say this but you just received some mail from tony's choccoloni for all your hard work i wasn't gonna be the one well because it's just like a perfect sagu it's like

it is a perfect sagu like if i can't if i can't make the chocolate myself i'll have big tony do it for me so like he can supply clearly here's what what's going on, folks. The lovely Tony Chocolone has gotten in touch with me. I've gotten in touch with them. And they said, can we please send you some chocolate? And I went, Tony Chocolone, there's. What do you think the answer is going to be to that question? There is just nothing I want more. And so I thought Tony Chocolone, they're gonna send me maybe maybe a couple bars

maybe some samplers you know maybe one whole box of a variety pack no no no when I say Big Tony which is not their actual name but I call them Big Tony because they do it big they do it Hoboken style baby so um let's just I'm just gonna if you're watching youtube this you're listening you can still hear it you can hear my bated bated breath trying to lift this this is what the hell big tony's chocolone has sent me holy shit like it's so big i can you hear me oh all the way over there yeah i'm trying not to talk because it's gonna move the camera away from you so say something again hello and it's tall too it's so tall

this y'all it's massive it's huge oh no we almost dropped it oh my god don't drop it it's literally the size of like a rollerboard suitcase. Like it's massive. It's massive. I'm going to have chocolate for the rest of my life. I'm so excited. I can't wait to eat all of it. I'm going to take pictures and post it online. But Tony's Chocolate Lonely, if you're listening, I have nothing but gratitude for you.

Man, they're doing it big. No joke. They're doing it big. And yeah, anyway, I'm not going to get too far into it. Just know that I'm set and i'm having a great time doing it happy august i'm very excited uh for you i don't even know what to say except for um you and your chocolate store i'll be the i'm the i'm burbank's willy wonka and so i'm just gonna i am uh i am tony's chocolateely by proxy and i will just uh have to send you some of my

favorites so you can try them all with me i mean honestly you can probably hmm you could probably just start up a franchise and like open one here and i could just go in and buy it to my heart's content you know i would love your business listen people people people people people i have never led you astray when it comes to a yummy treat okay that's right we've got the starbucks the london fog we've got what else we got that i oh um uh what what's the thing oh the public goods almonds cocoa almonds yep these first of all they're like against human trafficking and shit and like it's like a like a very wonderful organization they're against human trafficking wow that's unique well they like they donate to uh like uh it's like a free trade chocolate or something i i'll i don't know all the right words but they're hang on let me find it i'm sorry to put you on the spot no no no i'm let me

let me uh let me find out and all of us can learn together. Ready? We're all going to learn together. 100% slave-free, the norm in chocolate. Here's the problem. Things aren't being shared evenly in the chocolate supply chain. The chain starts with millions of farmers who produce cocoa and end with billions of consumers. But what about the bit in between? The section is dominated by a handful of chocolate giants that profits from keeping the cocoa purchasing price as low as possible. And as a result, farmers are forced to live in poverty leading to child

labor and slavery oh my gosh right now there is a slavery on cocoa farms in west africa and this is a result of the unequally divided cocoa chain and tony's chocolate only exists to change that illegal child labor and modern slavery are against the law and it needs to stop and so their root is like 100 slave free chocolate or something like that i've never had it before but did we know that it's actually spelled choco lonely yeah i think i just say it too fast and it sounds like like italian like why do they call it lonely i don't know huh i'll have to reach out to them with one of my 3 000 chocolate bars now that you have now that you have their attention.

Anyway, you are doing good when you also buy the chocolate is what I'm trying to get at. Oh, it's a Dutch company. I'm very fascinated. I was very excited to see your giant box of chocolate. I feel like I can't wait for you to open your candy store so I can partake. I agree. And also, sorry, Chuck Lonely, i uh gave the the wrong uh mission for that i did not well i'm sure they're also against human i would imagine with those set of values they're probably also against human trafficking they're probably on the right side of history and i would imagine

spaces yeah so yeah i would think so but um anyway we started we started with chocolate now we're going to get into demon pregnancies. Can't wait. This is what Christine requested. And I get what I want. Delivered. You delivered. So this first story is Adrian, who goes by they, them pronouns.

Thank you for normalizing pronouns. And Adrian's subject line is demon baby pregnancy dreams oh legitimately demon baby okay got it 30 seconds ago we were talking about chocolate and you know saving people and now we're here so now we're here thank you adrian hey y'all i just finished listening to the july listeners episode and when christine asked for the pregnancy dream theme i couldn't wait to send in my story when i was pregnant with my daughter starting at about 15 weeks i would have dreams about having had my child and being home with her when she would morph into this black-eyed gray-skinned demon baby good night and scream the most horrifying screams while i would just be stuck holding her and staring down at this

terrifying face i told my mom about these dreams one day and she told me that she had very similar demon baby dreams with my older sister. I like to think that the sister, like how come you had the demon dreams with one but not the other? Like is your sister like the rowdy sibling? Or is your mom just trying to make you feel better? Like it wasn't you, it was just your sister.

Right. Another quick thing I wanted to mention is that I knew the sex of my baby 100% positive before I got the scan and was told. I just had the deepest feeling of what it was going to be. Obviously, gender is a construct. A demon. It has nothing to do with biosex, but I still thought it was cool to be so sure and have it confirmed. I'm also able to predict the sex of other people's babies. Oh, wait. I want to know what their prediction is. And the day they'll be going into labor. But no.

Wait, do they have mine? No, sorry. You made it look like they were going to tell me their prediction. I would love for them to tell me because. I'm going to guess for you when the baby is going to show up. And if it is not Mothman Festival, I will scream. But I. That's just your demand.

That's not a guess. I'm just staring the baby down. I'm like, if you don't get out i'm gonna lose it i'm gonna fucking lose it um our relationship is gonna start a little unhinged baby just a little rocky you know i'm not i'll still love you but you know it'll be frayed for a little bit we'll have to we'll have to regather our our emotions back up yeah um so i would say mothman festival but i think realistically october 2nd or 3rd feels right interesting yeah that's kind of where my brain was i was thinking the same thing like 10 2 10 3 um but then blaze keeps thinking september and he's been very confident about things that have like proven true so far um like he knew the sex

the baby right away and it was like there's not even a question and he was right so i don't know i feel like um i feel like i i don't want to believe him but like i kind of have to put my head head in that headspace because that's sooner than i expect um uh if the baby doesn't show up at mothman festival which again i will be shoving jalapeno peppers on your throat like whatever it takes to like get this baby cooking um i would i need it to be on mothman festival but if it doesn't happen then then i will be pleased with october 2nd because then it will be 10-2 which means poop so yeah it's completely right yeah yeah every time every time the baby has a blowout you can go 10-2 and you'll get tired of it so fast, but it'll be your punishment. Well, the Mothman Fest is in September.

Also, a lot of people were so kind and posted in the secret group, not the secret, like the Patreon group on Facebook, being like, hi, I'm a labor and delivery nurse. I can go to Mothman Fest and we can all just, and a bunch nurses and like providers were like, we'll just like stand by in case anything happens. It'll be like our little ring of security. How sweet is that? Just like just a ring of nurses and doulas and all these things and just have a good time. I was like, this is so exciting. It'll be a real Mothman labor. It's kind of like that weird combo of like how Houdini had mediums for spies. We'll have like midwives for security guards.

Like, you know. Midwife bouncers. Yeah. So I would like to know who was their name again. I forget. Oh, so they say thanks for making such a great show. I hope all is well for you and the baby Christine from Adrian. Adrian, I really appreciate that you didn't insist that you knew about the due date and

the sex of the baby, but I would love to hear your guess just for fun. So can you respond to your email? I frequently insist that I know what's going on. So do I, and I certainly don't. So that would be really fun if you got it right, Adrian. If anybody has some weird talent for that, let me know. Because I'm curious what people are guessing. Maybe on Instagram we should do a poll of a bunch of dates.

And then we see what the majority thinks the day is. Yes, we'll try to be like, use your psychic powers. A collective group think to manifest when the baby gets here. That's amazing. They'll all manifest Mothman. I know. Well, maybe we shouldn't even give that as an option. Maybe we shouldn't. That's a little dangerous. But everyone vote 10-2 you know what i'm saying about 10-2

okay now i don't want 10-2 poop day yay what's 10-4 is that a thing 10-4 means like copy like i understand okay what's 10-3 now i'm just gonna vomit probably vomit 10 3 is stop transmission oh shit i was gonna say if 10 1 is p and 10 2 is poop then i imagine 10 3 is like all other bodily evacuations so unfortunately like a pregnancy by the way like a birth yeah apparently it means uh stand by which i kind of like to just like stop talking to me me. Also ironic that you would, that it would be a like standby also giving birth. It's like, I'm not ready yet.

Standby. Like I'm just like, just hold. Can I hit pause on this? Walkie talkie. Okay. So this is from Danny. Excuse me.

Who's she? Your pronouns. Thank you, Danny. The subject is per Christine's request. Creepy pregnancy slash baby stories. Hi, Eva M. Christine for babies, petrified fruits and future spawn of Christine. Ah, yes.

During the listeners episode when Christine mentioned creepy pregnancy stories, I immediately thought of a few quick but perfect stories for this topic. Just to warn you, I definitely abuse the exclamation point while writing because I have anxiety and fear of coming off as cold and passive aggressive in emails oops me too don't worry wow you and the rest of this generation my friends 100 i feel like it's a very common problem you are not alone m's in my text with any other person in like any group chat or email is like a million exclamation points between the two of us and then we talk to each other it's like very normal but it's kind of funny i feel like we both send so many um all right let's see so these stories are not mine they're my mother's my mom is psychic and often gets prophetic dreams even though she doesn't really know about all that stuff quote unquote the first one happened three years before i was born while my aunt mom's older sister was pregnant with her third child my mom

one night had a dream that she was lost in a crowd and looking for a little girl named laurie she had never met this child before yet she knew she was looking for a little girl named laurie with short brown hair the next day my aunt and uncle called to tell my mom they had just come back from the appointment that tells you what your baby's genitals look like oh that's thank you by the way that is what it's like it's either got something between its legs or it doesn't and then we're going to decide its entire life fate yeah how many exclamation points it uses in emails in the future what color wall you have everything yeah everything uh and that they were planning on naming the baby lori i love all my cousins but

lori and i are best friends. And people often confuse us for sisters of family functions and think that my cousin is my mom's daughter as well. We have a huge family. So that is not weird. LOL. The next story technically isn't. So that is weird to like just predict the name in a dream. Like, oh, looking for Lori.

And then the next day we named the baby Lori. It's like, whoa. Well, that's how I've said this before, I think, on the show. But that's how Deirdre came to be. Because her mom had a dream about a calico human baby. And then all the hair fell out. And she named it Deirdre. And then Deirdre came out with literally all three colors of hair.

And then all of her hair fell out. And Sue was like, well, I guess her name's Deirdre. Damn. I guess so. What was her name going to be? Anne. Well, that's a nice name, too. So her middle name is Deirdre. Damn. I guess so. What was her name going to be? Anne. Well, that's a nice name, too. So her middle name is Anne now.

Can I just put this on the record? I had a really, I have had horrifyingly weird and scary pregnancy dreams recently. I feel like maybe I've just, this is karma. But last night I had one that I met up with my ex-boyfriend for the first time in years. And he had just had a baby as well and he told me the baby's name was Abigail and I remember thinking oh that's actually a nice name and now I'm like on edge because I'm like that was a really weirdly specific and like realistic dream so now I'm like waiting on social media like oh my god are they gonna have a baby named

Abigail so I just want to put this on the record in case it happens in the future so we'll see um anyway let's see the next story technically isn't a pregnancy story but it's not a creepy kid story either as i was an infant and this isn't even about me for context for context as i mentioned above my mom's side of the family is huge my grandma is one of seven children my great uncle lenny is the oldest then six girls with so many sisters my grandma and her sisters could be quite catty at times especially my aunt ella who was also my mom's godmother so i was conceived out of wedlock i know it's okay go ahead and clutch your pearls now lmao but to my very catholic family this was kind of a big deal my auntie ella was especially cruel to my mom and told her when she came to visit to see me and my mom for the first time after i was born she's so cute but you know your grandfather is rolling in his grave don't you

oh my god oh my mom yikes yikes my mom and her gramps were very close and he died when my mom was 11 she also tells me oh that's awful so she's like really close with her grandpa and he died when she was 11 and then grandma's like he's rolling over in his grave because you've disappointed him like grandma sounds like the antagonist of this story grandma's not looking hot right now um let's see uh she my mom and her grandma she also tells me all the time that he and i have a similar sense of humor and that he would have loved me but anyway back to the story that night when my mom got up to feed me in the middle of he and I have a similar sense of humor and that he would have loved me. But anyway, back to the story. That night when my mom got up to feed me in the middle of the night, she said that she was rocking me in the rocking chair and thinking about what Auntie Ella said.

When suddenly she felt this warm sensation overtake her and she felt two arms wrap her in a hug. She just knew that it was Gramps telling her that he loved her and that he didn't care. Oh, I'm going to cry. And she told me that she just... And also i'm not rolling over in my grave we're in the clear like yeah your grandmother has always been very dramatic yeah it's like take take a breath you're okay oh sorry it's the aunt not the grandma i'm sorry i don't mean to throw grandma to us it's auntie ella i'm sorry auntie ella sounds like the antagonist auntie ella sounds like maybe like the mom from tangled or something or like

it sort of reminds me of a little evil a little just like a little too cruel for comfort um so let's see she just knew that it was gramps telling her that he loved her and that he didn't care and she told me that she just sat there and cried while gramps hugged her until i started to fuss and the feeling slowly faded so she could tend to me i never met the man but i'm glad he came to my mom that night to tell her that his daughter was out of line. I sometimes like to think that he visited Ella that night too to tell her to fuck off, but I don't think so

because a couple years later when my parents got married, they're divorced now though, so it's not a cute story, my mom wore an off-white dress and told me how all of her aunts told her how appropriate she looked instead of saying she looked beautiful because she didn't wear white since she had kids oh my god oh you gotta love families so now my mom is adamant in saying that if she ever gets married again she will wear white and all of her aunts can deal with it good for her good for her quick bonus story if you have

time so my mom has these prophetic dreams and recently she had a dream that one of my cousin's kids came out to her as gay. She's 10 now, but the signs are there. And it makes this bi lady's heart so happy that we might be getting another gay in the family. Love it. Oh, I love to like have prophetic dreams about. By the way, that's kind of rude because then it's like I was going to come out of the closet, but your psyche already did that for you for me. Your brain outed me.

Fuck you. Exactly. But also it's like maybe you were just like not as sussed as you thought you were and people are noticing very good point yeah maybe you're giving us some sort of psychic signal i love uh i love introducing more and more queer people into our family and i don't know if they're listening but allison's brother and his wife we've already decided me and allison that that their kid is gonna be like so gay like and you've decided it well because i stand firm and i have no real like data backing this maybe there is data out there i haven't looked but i just am i will die on this hill that if you have

a gay aunt or uncle or non-binary inclusion of that then they're they're more likely to also be queer like if you're no i think that's a i think there's a um about siblings at least like a statistical like if your sibling is queer your kid will be queer like no that you're like siblings are more likely i'm pretty sure oh i i always because like there's not a person I know who is queer that doesn't have a queer aunt or uncle on at least one side. And so I swear that because Andy, Allison's brother, has a queer sister. So that's immediately a queer aunt for their kid. And then on his wife's side, she has a queer brother. And so that's a gay uncle on the other side.

And so there's going to be two queer aunt and uncles, which means that baby's like got a double chance in my mind of being queer. So I'm very prepared for that. If that baby comes out as straight and cisgender, I'm going to be like, where did we go wrong? Where did we go wrong? Oh my gosh. Anyway, that's my goal. That's my feeling of it.

That's fascinating. Well, we'll see. Fingers crossed. I just look, I just want the world to be smothered in gay people. That's all I want. Oh, don't we all, man. Okay. Anyway, thank, who wrote that story again?

That was from Danny. Thank you, Danny. Was that the end of it or did I? Yeah, it was the end. Yep. Okay, perfect. Thank you, Danny. I appreciate it.

And I'm very glad that people are now getting like realized in their dreams. I feel like maybe it's making coming out stories maybe a little easier when people are like i had a hunch i had a few dreams about it oh yeah you told me already in your dream in my our souls discussed this already so we're fine so uh okay this next one is from sarah who's a she her pronouns thank you sarah for normalizing pronouns we appreciate you and the subject line is baby dream story nice and vague I love it Sarah okay so here is the story Christine asked for baby a baby dream story so here it is never thought I would have had a story to submit for a listener's episode since I'm a skeptic uh and then says sorry Em your stories are amazing they're amazing but fake um so here it goes and

christine just know that i am sorry for this image get ready uh-oh when i was pregnant with my oldest who's now seven i had a dream that his arm popped out of the side of my stomach as if to say hi mom oh god no no i think of like uh like the halloween toys at target where like a hand just kind of comes out yes that's exactly what i thought of too like a animatronic when i panicked and went to the hospital the doctor just said this happens sometimes what oh you mean oh in the dream yeah yeah yeah uh and went to the hospital and the doctor just said this happens sometimes and he pushed the arm back in holy shit did he like sew the stomach back together or was there just a hole where now there's like a little baby eye that just comes in you know pop it back in

uh then they told me when he's ready to come he will come out the right way oh that also sounds a little gay um i was about eight months pregnant when i had this dream and the time at the time i was terrified to become a mother so this dream definitely did not help but seven years and two kids later it's not that bad being a mom good luck with the baby and motherhood woes team milkshake can't wait for you guys to go on tour again and holding on to my cincinn a while now. Yes. Thank you. I appreciate everyone who's stuck it through with us. I do too.

It means a whole, whole lot, truly. And also, thank you for being Team Milkshake. Although I feel like that's a little brown nosing after you just said that you don't believe in my stories. I don't know. I think maybe. Thank you for your very, very very creepy creepy baby arm out of the belly story it's just so random uh i don't love that um when i when i have crazy stories like that i'm like oh at least that's like less of a reality for me and but then like if i were like

pregnant i would be worried about an arm punching through my skin i would be freaked out for sure you know it's like when you dream about something kind of unrealistic but you feel weird the next day about it anyway I feel like I would be like on edge I would be worried that the baby was one of like those random one in a million cremates who has teeth and is like biting its way out stop it you already talk about fingernail I like stop it oh the toenail thing where it's like scratching stop it it's painful enough i don't need your nonsense okay i'm sorry i look one thing i'm looking forward to in the scariest way is the shit you're gonna say one day when we're having kids because oh exactly so you're just i deserve it i deserve it so just take it as take it as future ammo for yourself I am I'm storing it away very very gently and carefully yeah okay well I have a story here from Vanessa

she heard thank you Vanessa and it's called newborn baby almost stolen by elves question mark whoa that's a twist different yeah hi folks so when i heard christine asked for newborn pregnancy stories i had to stop what i was doing and write this okay so in 2006 i had my first daughter and she was born on the hottest day of the year in the middle of a freak thunderstorm and lightning storm in the middle of july i'm half apache and my grandmother was also born in the same type of freak storm freak freak storm freak storm i feel like the way that i just phrased that was like what a freak storm i kind of i kind of wish if there was like an insult you could call somebody these days like freak storm sounds kind of cool like i actually really like that i kind of dig it i want to be

a freak storm you are a freak storm don't worry you're already there my grandmother was also born in the same type of freak storm and uh and her name was maria of the lightning bolt my apache side told me the blood was strong in her as it has been in me i'm very sensitive and experienced many things in my life anyhow the first night home i put her to sleep in the bassinet next to the bed i remember waking up and seeing a group of three small men about one foot tall oh my god i'm freaking out walk into the room and look at me and go to the baby oh i don't like that they looked at you and were like hello anyway back they were acknowledging like oh yeah this one's asleep like let's be quiet about that like now there's like a very like a like a little vaguely nefarious.

Yeah, it makes it worse. They started to climb up each other like a ladder. Fun. Oh, my gosh. We're at Cirque du Soleil. What is happening? I could move my hands and feet but not sit up or speak out. I was thrashing about but could not speak.

Right as one of the man's hands were about to touch her. I sat up and screamed no and they disappeared i scooped at the baby and took her to my bed my husband had woken up and he believed me i salted my house and burned my sage and never had a problem there again i have so many stories about my daughter they could fill a book like the times i would hear her talking and giggling on the baby monitor to another baby but she was alone goodbye goodbye absolutely not or when she told me she was taking out her toys for the dead baby she plays with in the yard okay i mean come on i'm this is getting out of sorts i think anyhow kids are creepy as hell so keep the crystals salt

and sage close by love vanessa and vanessa uses which pronouns uh she her pronouns okay girly this sounds real wild like if this sounds like um it sounds a little like it could have almost been like and i mean i'm trusting you if you say they're elves sure but i would also like theorize that they could be like little aliens or something because like if you felt like that brainwashed not brainwashed um that parent like sleep paralysis yeah yeah feeling but then like my turtle instincts kicked in and you went i don't think the fuck not like you know i think it's super creepy also that they're like i don't know enough about elves i can cover them one day maybe but it's like three little critters climbing on top of each other with the intent of grabbing your baby is pretty insane oh pretty

insane doesn't sound good i don't like it anyway i don't i mean if i saw even i don't even have a baby but if i saw three little maybe alien elves jumping on top of each other at the foot of my bed trust and believe i would be paralyzed out of fear i'd be like there's no way this is happening to me oh i think it's sweet though she's like my husband believed me so we sold the house i was like that's nice partner of the year absolutely sure if i told allison that's what i saw she'd be like okay she'd be like this is the third time you said that this month she'd be like go to bed you are delusional all the time all the time all the time um okay thank you vanessa for that story here is another one and this one's called creepy not so creepy pregnancy story okay by a jackie who's a she her pronouns

thank you for normalizing pronouns jackie and the subject line is oh i already said creepy not so creepy hi m christine fruits animals and arachnids oh oh my god Skylar and Deb the Web I missed Deb the Web you should have at least brought her with us I tried you didn't let me I literally told you I was gonna put her in the new studio apartment and you were like absolutely not was to be fair a little too large by the time we were leaving she was a little crusty Deb the Web was a habitat at that point I think that window is now its own little zoo its own little exhibit in that house all right christine asked for creepy pregnancy stories so here's mine i don't know if you guys believe in traveling souls or just signs from the other side but i do and on january 8th 2017 my

best uh my best i don't know if you guys believe it oh i'm so stupid i just couldn't read the next sentence what's wrong oh i know don't worry i figured that was your fault yeah bingo bingo on january 8th 2017 my best friend cory was killed by a drunk driver and oh shit uh that got on the freeway going the wrong way. Yeah, that's really bad. Fuck. Oh, my God. Losing Corey broke me, and I definitely lost it. Fast forward to January 2020. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while,

and the week after the anniversary of Corey's death, I found out I was finally pregnant, and my due date was the end of September. The end of September. Oh, okay, okay sorry there was a that was also my fault my due date was the end of september and fast forward to the end of my pregnancy my daughter was very big because my husband is six three and i'm five three so uh fast forward to the end of my pregnancy. My OB decided to induce me two weeks early because she was so big.

And Ella was born the day before Corey's birthday at 2 a.m. And I had the giggles the whole time. I was pushing. It was wild. Okay. Can you imagine, like, being a doctor and giving birth or watching someone give birth, but they're also laughing? I'd be like. I would be like, this is not how it usually goes.

I'd be like, something is happening here. I feel like because usually in some places they use laughing gas. Oh, but I would imagine that Jackie would have told us if that were the case. That epidural was hitting it. That was good. It felt I was giggling because it felt like my best friend was telling me I needed to be happy again and not feel guilty that, uh, that he didn't want his birthday to be a sad day anymore,

but a happy one. Oh, wait, that's so sweet. Every time we walk past frame pictures of Corey, uh, she gets excited and reaches for it. Like she recognizes him.

And sometimes I think he was her, uh, earth coach, like in, uh, in as a soul. Oh, that's so sweet. But I'm rambling and sleep deprived.

Christine, I hope that you have a wonderful, relaxing rest of your pregnancy and an easy birth. And that you, thank you both for keeping me company while all the late night feedings the last nine months. Oh, that's really sweet. That's very sweet. I haven't even thought about, about like what if the baby is somebody somebody's really i think about that all the time i do i've been lying i think about it all the time i just haven't talked about it it's not even my baby and i know i think about it all the time too but um it's gonna it's gotta be somewhat a real weirdo in your family there's a lot of

those so your group of friends whoever it is odds are a real oddball that baby is gonna be a weird kid and i'm pretty excited already yeah oh god that but the kid's gonna grow up to be so fucking cool i don't know it's gonna blow my mind i already can see it that kid's gonna be so cool but the only the only way that they're gonna be cool is they're gonna have to have a real awkward patch and like i'm prepared that's a fair point it's gonna have to happen but wow are they gonna learn i feel like super cool kids like aren't necessarily i feel like super weirdo kids can turn out to be like very interesting grown-ups i i oh yeah but yeah i don't

know about the other way around but maybe they're also often very funny just because they look like well i was weird i needed a redeeming quality when everyone was making fun of me as a kid damn that kid's gonna be so cool bring something to the table yeah um okay so this is the last one this is from audra he uses she her, her pronouns. Thank you, Audra. And it's called Pregnancy Slash Parenting Stories. It says, Hi, ATWWD family. Long-time listener, first-time story submitter. Christine asked for pregnancy stories, and I was reminded of a story involving my mother and myself.

Let's crack into it. I've always been paranoid about falling down stairs. I have no problem going up, but for some reason, I've always taken extra time and care when walking down. One day after work, I was on the phone with my mom mom and we were just chatting while i walked to my car i got to the stairs of the parking lot and said something like ugh here are the stairs ugh here are the stairs you know it's so weird but i'm always a little freaked out that i'm going to fall down the stairs there was a complete silence on the other line after i checked that i hadn't lost cell phone reception my mom finally said you're joking right and i said what no i always take the stairs super slow because i can't help but imagine how much it would hurt to fall down the stairs why to which my mom responded i fell down the stairs when i was pregnant with

you i actually hurt my arms pretty badly because as i fell i was completely focused on protecting my belly so you wouldn't get hurt wow trauma from the womb like it's real like it's like genetically and she says crazy right it's like stare paranoia imprinting oh my gosh i also have some creepy parenting slash kid stories this happened when my boys were about seven and three years old they shared a bunk bed in the room right across the hall from my husband and my room which was great for whenever someone woke up or had a bad dream in the middle of the night. We were just a few sleepy steps away. One night I was just drifting off when I heard one of my boys call for me.

Just a faint mommy. I stumbled into. Oh, God, I'm already. I already hate it. I know. I'm really hoping it's your actual child. Me too. I stumbled in to see what they needed but they were both completely asleep

while i found this strange i wrote it off as a dream or possibly one of them talking in their sleep over the next couple weeks this happened a few times i would wake up thinking i heard mommy only to find they were both passed out then my three-year-old started having a hard time going to sleep in his bed he would say i'm scared but i don't know why okay absolutely not this so oh hey nope oh hey hey girly pop no burn the room to the ground bestie like that's what we've got to do he would also tell me he was worried about monsters coming in his room it took quite a bit of time to assure him he was safe and there was no reason to be afraid we even made monster spray water and a drop of lavender in a spray bottle that's very sweet i love that it's

also like sleep conscious like lavender uh-huh it's also like aromatherapeutic yeah exactly um and a sign saying only nice monsters allowed that's very sweet don't want to exclude everyone right you get pretty creative once sleep deprivation sets in after a few nights of calm i wake up to my husband jumping out of bed and running into the boys room i followed because i figured that one of them had to be throwing up or something but when i got there my husband was just standing in the middle of their room they were asleep and he was just standing there looking at them after my thoughts had the time to go from what the actual fuck to i should probably do something i said to him what are you doing the kids are asleep he just stood there and didn't say anything then without even looking at me he turned around walked back

to our room and got back into bed ew i asked him about it bestie so now your husband is possessed are we kidding like absolutely not i asked him about it the next day where did it go and he didn't remember anything about it bestie is possessed that's what i heard girly no no no no i spent the day trying to tell myself i had dreamed it i was listening to too many ghosty podcasts so it's your fault m thank you but then that night i woke up to our dog growling okay this is getting worse and worse i had never heard him growl before he was standing in our doorway in what looked like a defensive position growling at something down the hallway i called his this is like my nightmare because like a dog is very intuitive they're not like yeah tricking themselves into thinking

something's there like this is yep this is what frees me up uh i called his name and he stopped growling but kept his attention on whatever he was looking at in the hallway i was frozen in bed losing my mind until he some until he finally seemed to relax a little but he didn't go back to his bed he laid down on the hardwood floor in the hallway between our room and the boys room as if to say my family you aren't getting past me oh we don't deserve puppies oh nothing more happened after that i like to think that whatever was possibly messing with us was no match for oreo smiley face i'm gonna cry no one's gonna take double stuff is on the case okay like don't fuck around oh my god that's so cute you should nickname him that if you haven't especially if he's got a little tushy if he's like a little thicker double stuff yeah it's like this little double stuffed oreo right there heart um whatever helps you sleep at night

right sorry that was long thank you for everything you do sending vaccinated hugs audra oh my god what a story okay that's like the fact that it's like one member of the family at a time started like no no no no no no no no no like also at least the kids aren't scared of it anymore but also maybe that's it's because the kids aren't scared of it anymore that it's moving on and getting the worse that's getting more powerful because now like they're open to it and just not afraid of it or something i don't know i'm not trying to scare you or make anything worse i'm trying to think of like how is it transferring to each creature in this home yeah it sounds like it's just like fucking with you it sounds like

it's fucking doing like mommy oh there's literally there's nothing i want less than a non-child we're calling out to me anyone like the thing that always freaks me out one of the things that always freaks me out the most in ghost stories is when you hear someone calling for you yeah because either it wants to fuck with you so that you'll be confused or it really does want your attention it's like intentional yeah i'm not about it yeah yeah it's intentional like it's either yeah yeah yeah and it's tricking you but on purpose it's like there's nothing good can come of this it like wants you to be confused and like disoriented oh fuck that and by the way it's very powerful if it can fucking mimic people in your house or

whatever like that's not that's no good i have no interest in that oh I have creepy goose camp now yeah well do you have any creepy pregnancy stories you want to share the only thing is these dreams are getting out of control I mean and they're so wild it's like I'm dreaming of people from like first grade that I haven't thought of in literal decades like people who I've never thought of in years and years and years are just like all appearing in my dream like one time I had a dream about my entire fourth grade class and like I remembered every single person there really odd um and then a lot of like exes like just a lot of like people that are out of my life now that just keep reappearing and I'm like I wasn't asking for I don't really want to be thinking of all these people it's almost like

this baby is like channeling all of your past memories so that it can know you better than anyone and just really really ruin you it's kind of like I know you won't understand this but in one of the Avengers an android basically becomes completely like aware of everything it has absorbed all information and access to everything just to like really be as damaging as possible power yeah well and in in hopes that maybe this is a it becomes a future was it the chicken or the egg scenario if you dream about me and i i demand that whatever name i say to you is the name of the baby see and that's the wild thing is like I haven't dreamed. I haven't had a dream, but I think you and I were in a dream last night and it's always like we're escaping from some murder.

But that's like pretty standard in my dream life. But it's always dreams about people that like aren't like people that aren't in my everyday life. It's like really random people who have died or like who are out of my life now. So I wish I would just have more normal fucking dreams where you were there so I could just call you and be like guess what I dreamed I can't like call my ex and be like what are you naming your baby I had a weird dream last night I hope you have a dream about me but it's me just like chillaxing with the baby just like fist bumping shooting the shit gossiping about you that would be great just hand a baby off to you in my dream that would be lovely when I was family, it was fun to go. I went out to a restaurant with

just my aunt, who's my mom's sister. And the two of us were just gossiping about my mom for an hour. It was so fun. I like to think that'll be, I'm going to be that for your baby. Yes. And when they're like, Oh, I can't stand my mom right now. I'm gonna be like, yo, you haven't had to deal with it for as long as I have. Are you kidding me? We're going to look, come with me. Let's go get a drink. I know you're like 20,

not 21, but don't worry about it. You know, you're the worst. You're going to give them ammo. Like, look at these photos I have of your mother. I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm going to be your worst enemy, but wow, I'm going to be your kid's best friend it's gonna be insane you're gonna love to hate me you're gonna be a pain in my ass but what else yeah well i'm gonna go eat 30 000 pounds of torii shakaloti jelly i'm gonna go buy some i don't even know where i've gotta go cbs they do have a location finder on their website oh okay great i'll do that i'll do that and i'm gonna yeah get a little get a little fucked up on on big tony um i can't wait well if you guys have um any store like send

in your stories to um and that's why we drink at gmail.com and we'll go through them and by we i mean eva because she's an angel yep for a theme i don't know do we have a theme for next month i kind of like so i kind of i know i already requested like creepy baby stories for the future so i mean you can start sending those in i guess um for like october or whenever but otherwise yeah just send in anything scary true crime or paranormal maybe something so creepy that it will like scare Christine into like having her water break. So that way the baby will show up faster. Right. Like maybe by Mothman.

Like maybe a story that will perfectly time Christine's water breaking 19 days later into the world or whatever day. How many days? What day is Mothman Festival? I think so. September. Yeah. Okay. So if the episode comes out september

1st and 18 days later i want your water break we need to have a story that that perfectly starts the timer the timer of 18 days yeah yeah you know what i'm talking about i get it i don't know if anyone else gets it but also i would love to hear back um from um oh my gosh why am i so bad at remembering people's names adrian adrian yeah about like if if they have a um a prediction i'm just curious since i'm not really announcing anything um yeah and i would love to know what people think about the d-day because i have no freaking clue i've known it also if if the baby's name is abigail that'd be particularly hilarious if the baby is uh of a male because then maybe what's abigail as a

as a more masculine name i don't know abogale i don't know i mean i guess i guess a little boy can be named abigail who the fuck cares right so um it could be not probably with the person i'm thinking of but um maybe like a little abner abner abner that's fun um well i'll think about it i'll try and brainstorm all right well and that's why we drink