And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 60
Episode Date: October 1, 2021HAPPY OCTOBER, BOOZERS AND SHAKERS!! Are you ready for some creepy, Halloween stories as well as some millennial commiseration? Our arms are already goose-caming because we've got some wild Hallowee...n tales, everything from a Batman and Evil Robin home invasion to the insider scoop from a doctor who worked the real life Exorcist case. We've also got some updates on the ouija board we used in Christine's haunted house... and that's why we drink!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
welcome to my altar and also uh christine apparently has to go to trader joe's so we
happy halloween month it's october i happy october and i hope everyone this is a sneak go to Trader Joe's so we have to Happy Halloween month! It's October!
Happy October and I hope everyone
this is a sneak peek by the way of
how my place looks. We also
just recorded the Halloween episode just to like
make you feel like we're really time traveling. I know.
So expect this again on the Halloween
episode. This little back room.
Yes. It's currently September and we're
well you know how September whatever
and it's we're recording the October listeners episode which comes out the 1st currently September and we're well you know how September whatever and it's we're
recording the October listeners episode which comes out the first of October and we recorded
the Halloween episode which comes out the last of October so we're bookending October today
um there's a couple little if you're on video a couple little hints about what was going on but
we wore costumes and everything so you got to tune back in we sure did we had costumes afterward to
we stripped we stripped ourselves so you wouldn't know what we
dressed as. That's Patreon content. Our stripping section is Patreon content. No, nobody wants that.
I don't even want to pay for it, but thank you. No, we've got some spooky stories. A shout out
to Eva. Thank you for reading these spooky stories. Also, if for some reason you are new here,
welcome. And every first of the month, we put out a listener's episode where you can submit your own
true crime and paranormal personal stories. You can do that on our website and that's why
we drink.com we have a submission form there and uh you could be entered into the next next month's
awesome episode contest where then we just talk about you for 20 minutes so you just never know
you never know what we're gonna say unfortunately it Unfortunately, it depends on your star sign, your name.
There's a lot of things we could comment on.
So we really should put that in the submission form.
Like, you're right.
What's your star sign?
How likely are we to actually cover your story?
Yeah, just cover your bases now because we'll get there.
But yeah, so Eva said she found some Halloween stories for us.
I'm very excited because while she was telling us this, she told us she just did a Trader Joe's run to get all their fall stuff. And since I am
basically going to be having a child any day now, I feel like I need to stock up
on some fall goodies. So after we record this, I'm going to run to my Trader Joe's and stock up.
And I'm going to panic the whole time, by the way, because spoiler alert,
Halloween is a two-parter episode.
Oh, yeah.
Which means we haven't filmed the part two yet.
And I'm very nervous the baby will be here before we record.
Let's try to do it tomorrow, then.
We'll just get it out of the way.
The baby's going to show up in five minutes.
I can already tell.
I wish, but I don't think so.
Anyway, Christine.
Can I go first?
Yes, you can go.
I wanted to also say happy Halloween.
This is our first time.
I think we got to actually or it hasn't happened yet.
But when our Halloween episode comes out, it's the first time we've actually had an
episode come out on Halloween.
It's very exciting.
It's a very good way to end this spooky, spooky month.
So happy spooky month.
And I hope you have a great time.
I'm so glad I got to be here.
I was really worried that like I would go into labor last night and then like the Halloween episode,
we'd have to wait another like what, seven years for it to come back on Halloween. Something
gnarly. Yeah. And I was also going to be like, Christine, if the baby shows up tonight before
we record, you are putting your ass on FaceTime and I'm telling you my story and we're recording
the whole thing. I'll do it on some painkillers. It's fine.
It'll be fun.
We'll have a good time.
I don't care that there's an epidural in your spine.
There was a ghost upstairs and once again, it was a lady in a red dress.
Can you be surprised, please?
I just turned the knob on the epidural like, okay, keep it coming, please.
Crank it up.
All right.
Yes, you can go first.
Yay.
We have an even number this week or this month. So I feel
like I feel like it probably doesn't matter that much. But you know, I'm gonna pull my last
pregnancy privilege card here and ask pregnancy privilege. I'm so over it. There's Yeah, nothing
but good times when you're pregnant. Nothing bad. It's all feels so nice on your body. Always.
I know it. I know it. know it's been great walking great swelling great
pushing a human out i'm sure that's gonna be great that's the best part um yeah so thank you
for letting me go first and take a bit of once again of my massive privileges um you're welcome
this is from kaylin she her thank you kaylin. And it's called Halloween 2007, a haunted toddler and the darkest darkness I've ever felt.
Oh, shit.
Wow, what a title.
Talk about a title.
Woo! Okay. Kaylin, here we go. Hello, M. Christine, Christine's child, unnamed at the time of writing. Love that.
Gio, Junie, Mooney.
Also at the time of recording.
Also at the time of recording. Fair point.
Junie Mooney and all other haunts, fruits, and vegetables.
I'm writing to share a story that is not exactly my own, though I had a related experience.
It's been on my mind to share since I started listening in 2016.
Wait, we didn't exist in 2016.
I think we were a twinkle in your eye, but I appreciate it.
That's amazing that you started listening before we even started recording. I knew we had time travelers listening.
I knew it.
I knew it.
I knew it.
Okay, we're teasing you a little bit.
It was early 2017, but that's still amazing.
If you were in there right when we started, because we were small potatoes.
It's very nice of you to still be here.
You did not have to do that, and I didn't expect it either.
Yeah, amazing that you're here all the way to meet my child, basically.
Oh, my God.
Snaps to you.
You're, yeah, Christine's having the baby, but you've been here this whole time.
You've been listening before we've been listening, which is amazing.
Like a technological feat, I think.
Okay, since I started listening in 2016, but for whatever reason, it never felt like the
right time.
Since Halloween's around the corner and I'm feeling all nostalgic,
I thought it'd be fun to revisit a Halloween gone by, 2007 to be exact.
Shout out to my high school BFF, Jay,
and her family for the proper spookiness of the story.
In 2007, I was a sophomore in high school.
I was also homeschooled, so you can imagine how cool I and my group of friends were.
We planned a costume party on Halloween at my friend's house.
There were eight or ten of us.
And as underage homeschooled nerd parties tend to go, the festivities, probably Dance Dance Revolution and a MySpace photo shoot.
This is my dream party, man.
I was with you.
And maybe a wine cooler.
No.
Nerdy kids like us didn't drink.
We just ate a lot of candy.
It was a wine cooler.
It didn't even count.
It did for me.
That's how you know I went to the real party.
Yeah.
I was like, maybe for cool kids, but I was definitely doing MySpace photo shoots with
like a Coca-Cola with the extra caffeine in it.
Oh, my God.
What?
I know.
Party time.
No, I don't.
Wait, what?
There's a Coca-Cola with more caffeine?
I think so.
Yeah.
Oh, that just sounds exactly like.
Maybe it's Pepsi Max.
I don't know what I'm thinking of.
That sounds exactly like something Coca-Cola. I was not allowed to drink it. So. Ugh, that just sounds exactly like. Maybe it's Pepsi Max. I don't know what I'm thinking of. That sounds exactly like something Coke would be.
I was not allowed to drink it, so it was kind of like my wine cooler, you know?
Aha, I see.
That was like surge soda for me.
Yeah, I wasn't allowed to drink Mountain Dew, all that stuff.
So Dance Dance Revolution and Mountain Dew.
Oh my God, I was having a wild time.
Okay.
The festivities probably died down a little, or pretty early.
Eventually, we found ourselves sprawled out on the floor of the room above my friend's garage, costumes in various states of disrepair telling ghost stories.
I vividly remember turning off the lights and one by one, each of my friends climbed up onto the treadmill in the corner of the room and aimed a flashlight at their chin.
Goosebumps style to tell a tale.
None of ours were particularly scary being the good little youth group children we were.
We were all a little bit lacking in life
experience.
One time, there was
a bump.
The closet creaked
open. My dog had to pee.
I heard a
sound. It was crazy.
It sounds pretty crazy. Anything
with a flashlight pointed to your own
face after a lot of mountain dew is like the pretty wild i'm not gonna lie um before long
my friend jay's mom came in to pick her up jay suggested mom why don't you tell the story about
when joe was a baby she says not her brother's name also redacted for privacy at first her mom
was hesitant but eventually agreed and obliged us on the
treadmill stage, flashlight gleaming and all. Miss N, a single mother, explained that she took
night classes when Jay and Joe were little, her brother being three or four at the time. She said
she would often sit at her kitchen table studying after putting the kids to bed. One such night,
she said she remembers hearing a clattering sound like her toddler's toys being played with.
She said she got up to scold him and put him back to bed, but when she approached his room, she saw him still asleep in his bed.
She said she was confused but went back to work.
A few minutes later, as she sat at the table, she saw one of Joe's toy trucks begin to roll slowly across the room, unassisted.
That's a firm pass is what I call that.
No, thank you.
Big yuck.
You're like trying to study.
You're like, I have flashcards out.
Leave me alone.
I'm already miserable.
I have to do school.
Of all times to be bothering me.
Of course, this spooked her.
She said at first she wasn't sure if she had fallen asleep at her books.
Maybe she was having a stress dream.
No, she realized the truck was rolling along, then back and forth as if being guided by a child's hand.
At this point, she got up and put the toys away completely after she had settled down again
studying away she heard her front door open she raced to the front door to see joe wandering
across the front yard toward the street she yelled for him and hurried to catch him but he was
unresponsive seemingly still asleep she put him back to bed deadbolted the door which he had not historically
been able to open and went to bed herself fairly terrified the next morning she was feeding jay
and joe breakfast as usual she told us and joe said something that stopped her in her tracks
mama where's my friend see ya see ya oh no he left he left and you're about to too and you are
too i was about to say bye at least i am i don't know And you're about to, too. And you are, too. I was about to say, bye.
At least I am.
I don't know where you're going.
Yeah, you can stay here if you want.
What friend?
My friend from last night.
We were all fairly dumbfounded and no one quite knew how to react.
A real ghost story.
I asked where she lived when these events had taken place.
Same place we do now.
My jaw dropped.
Here's where my memories of the house come in. Oh,
boy, we got a little crossover. Loving
the layers. Love it. You're a great
storyteller, Caitlin.
Probably six months earlier, my mom,
little sister, and I had taken Jay home after
a hang session. Jay was always coming to
my house, often spending the night two or three nights in a
row while we tortured my family, scream-singing
rent in my room, but I'd never been
invited to hers. When we dropped her off that day, her mom invited us inside. I remember the instant I walked inside,
I felt nauseous. I didn't want to be rude, but I remember I was barely holding it together.
I met her dogs, who were fairly nervous, tail between their legs, and said hello to her brother
in middle school at the time. I remember how it felt like dusk in the house as she walked me
through to her room, though it had been daylight outside.
My chest felt heavy, and along with the nausea, I knew I needed to make my exit pretty quickly.
Even in my memory, the darkness of that hallway is tangible.
My mom and sister also said their hellos and just as quickly their goodbyes, and we headed back to the car.
As soon as we got in the car, my little sister said she was feeling sick.
I turned to look at her, and my mom gasped because she said she, too, had been nauseous while in the house as we talked about it we discovered that all of us were feeling
better the heaviness in my chest had lifted too all of us felt it and other than myself my family
is not one to discuss or believe in paranormal occurrences i wasn't even sure what to call the
feeling at the time but i knew it was bad news and i was shocked i hadn't been alone in it
needless to say once i heard miss n's story and connected those
dots i was freaked the hell out i will never forget the chills i got when i realized the
story had taken place at the same house where i felt some of the darkest energy i've ever felt
in my life thankfully they're all doing fine and i never heard of any more paranormal occurrences
happening to their family honestly after that night jay seemed less eager to discuss it and
of course i wanted to respect their wishes but i think about it often and every Halloween part of me longs for the simplicity of the MySpace LimeWire Dance Dance
Revolution days with that friend group and maybe the genuinely good scare too hopefully if this
story provided some goose cam fuel thank you both so much for the years of laughs and millennial
commiseration and I hope you and yours have a safe and spooky holiday that's so fun thank you what a great story
what a story and um i appreciate the was a millennial commiseration yeah
what i feel like all of us should end our all of our letters like that if you
if you were born like in the 1900s which is what they're calling it now by the way what they're saying that we were born in the
1900s and we're so old the 20th century i mean we were right like that's not i know but it's just
like fuck these kids like oh the kids are saying it well then yeah yeah i don't love it so uh i
maybe we should just if your birthday starts with a 19 then we'll just start calling
ourselves millennial commiserations or whatever um well thank you so much i have one i have one
one story now and a few coming later wow this one i know uh this one is from sydney who uses
she her pronouns thank you for normalizing pronouns, Sydney. This title is Batman and Evil Robin Tried to Rob Me.
I like how you got robbed by Robin.
I know.
Evil Robin.
Also, I'm thinking about Evil Batman.
And it's definitely she didn't say this Batman was evil, but I am thinking about the Batman I think is evil.
And it was the one that walked past us during that ghost tour.
Oh, that was creepy. I forgot about that. Not us during that ghost tour oh that was creepy i forgot
about not the most wild thing when i was in town when i was in town with christine we did a bunch
of ghost tours and one of them that we did was like near this one building that christine did
not i did not like it i still don't like it i don't like and around the corner of the building
literally someone in not like your average like spirit halloween batman outfit like batman cosplay
like a full six foot plus tall man in like yeah the full cosplay like leather goods like he is
just walks out he's not even looking at us ignores us entirely just turns the corner
walks the entire strip past us and just keeps going and it was like nighttime like it was like
really creepy nighttime right into the middle of like what is considered but the most like one of
the most haunted places in your area yeah what the hell was that it was very odd and it was very
jarring and it wasn't supposed to be part of the tour or anything so anyway clarify this was like
a two weeks or a week or two ago this was like mid-september there was not like a halloween
event or anything right yeah it was really strange if you happen to be in um the kentucky area and
you hear that there was a crime starring batman at some point um i got him on video i was sydney
was this you maybe this was something about sydney i hope not sydney's sydney's about to be like i
literally am dating batman who walks around k or something. Well, good for you.
He was nice and tall.
From what I can tell.
So Sydney says, hey, I'm Christine Eva, assorted animal pals and incoming baby Schieffer.
Oh, hello.
Hello.
In honor of October, I wanted to share my Halloween horror story with you all.
This is a long one.
So let's crack into it, we yes yep i was in seventh grade and it was the first time i was home alone at night and normally my older
sister was there but considering she was 16 who knows where she was fair enough she was playing
dance dance revolution and drinking down to hanging out with batman uh anyway it was late and i
wandered downstairs to get a glass of water only wearing only an oversized T-shirt.
I use his pajamas.
The staircase in my house lands almost directly in front of the front door, which has a little window about head high.
And that night, as I came down the stairs, there were two people standing under our single dim porch light.
Nope, nope, nope.
One had a black ski mask on and the other had a batman mask
no no no forever ruining batman for me by the way sydney thank you so much um sydney's like yeah no
shit for me too i froze and they seemed to freeze to noticing me. Then in a moment forever burned in my brain,
they both lifted one hand and slowly waved at me.
What is happening?
In perfect synchronization.
Why?
Back and forth, back and forth.
It was a normally friendly gesture that felt completely sinister when they did it.
I mean, yeah, imagine someone looks like they're about to break into your house
and they just go. Instead of being and they just go instead of being like yeah instead of being like oh shit we gotta
run they're like hello we can truly like just like like right outside your door and they're
about to fucking rob you that's the creepiest thing ever um so it took a moment for me to
process that i was standing pantless yeah i was gonna say you're
also knowing pants which sucks super sucks less than six feet away from two faceless waving
strangers with only a little barrier of wood between us yeah i've thought about that like
have you ever just thought like your door is literally just like two inches of material
separating you from outside and i think about it every minute of every day.
It's all I think about.
It's so freaky.
It's like there's really nothing.
It's like, I mean, I've heard like locksmiths and all, let's say, like locks don't keep bad guys out.
They keep honest people honest.
It's so wild to think that like bad guys just think like there's only two inches between you and me that is like like keeping me like why don't i have i want access to your personal life also still lock
your doors okay that doesn't mean don't lock your doors just get steel ones at least the lazy
just get lazy robbers bulletproof doors um in a sheer panic i ran down the hallway into the
kitchen scooping up my phone and my dog on the
way down to the basement sorry but like i get it like i wouldn't know what to do either i totally
panic but if this were a horror movie i'd be like the basement what are you doing there's probably
a door down there oh okay my basement didn't have a door that's why okay that's my guess anyway
the back of our house is very exposed with big French doors and lots of big windows.
It's lovely during the day, but at night it can feel like I'm living in a fishbowl.
So I ran downstairs and said, okay, good.
Okay.
The basement steps were just around the corner from the back door and I huddled at the bottom
before calling perhaps the least helpful people I could have at the moment, my parents, who
were off at some fancy wine tasting getting shwasted.
I was terrified of the strangers
on my porch but i was even more terrified of calling the police and having them be mad at me
if i turned out that the masked strangers were there for some totally innocent reason
but then again like that's how my brain works too but then again like what the fuck is their
innocent reason like yeah but like it's just such a instant reaction of, like, oh, I don't want to be, like, a worry.
I don't want to upset everybody.
Oh, no, like, anxiety is a very real thing.
But then when you stop to think, like, oh, like, what if they're doing something innocent?
It's like, name one thing that could be innocent in that.
They forgot to trick-or-treat on the right day.
They are lost.
They're confused about the day.
I thought Sydney was going to say, like, I didn't want to call the police and be in an inconvenience or a bother and it's like that's what she's saying there yeah yeah
that is what she's saying like i didn't want to waste their time if it was nothing as i cried into
the phone to my mom trying to explain the situation the phone crackled a few times and then cut out
completely the flat dial tone nightmare exactly like the beginning of every horror movie right before the first person gets got.
I thought, okay, they cut the phone lines and my trusty hand-me-down Motorola Razr was currently plugged in next to my bed two floors above.
Oh no, when she said I grabbed my phone, I was hoping it was a cell phone.
Nope.
I stood there for what felt like an hour, but was in reality, it was probably about two minutes debating whether to run back upstairs for my cell phone or stay put when all of a sudden someone began to pound furiously on our back door.
The sound of their fists rattling the glass echoed through the otherwise quiet house and I thought, well, I guess this is how I go.
But Bailey, our golden retrie retriever aka the absolute worst guard
dog ever known besides geo besides geo perked her ears up and wandered to the basement steps
towards our certain doom bailey no come back bailey bailey but then i heard it whoever was
pounding on the door was saying my name when i crawled up the steps and peeked my head around
the corner i saw my neighbor standing outside one hand knocking and the other curled around his face Thank God.
Jeez.
Well, at least your mom was on top of it for that moment.
Thank God. I opened the door and told him what happened,
and he took me over to his house to hang out with his kids
until my parents got home, and he also checked the front porch,
but the people weren't there anymore.
From then on, my neighbor would be the person I called
every time I was home alone and heard some...
Can you imagine, like, just being the neighbor,
and it's like, now I have to go potentially risk myself?
There's two robbers on the porch? Yeah, I mean, terrifying. What a hero. being a neighbor the neighbor and it's like now i have to go potentially risk myself like what
what a hero is on the porch yeah i mean what a hero so when my parents got home uh which now
that i'm old enough to appreciate the sanctity of a good glass of red i'm sure they walked out of
that wine tasting cursing the fact that they had even created a kid to take them away from their
fancy cabernet they tried to calm me down by explaining that the men were probably
just trick-or-treaters no town next to ours always celebrates halloween the friday before the actual
day to avoid any school night complications sorry but like that's it still freaks me out
my parents theorized that some kids had continued trick-or-treating down our block without realizing they had stepped over the town line.
Although I doubt that theory because, A, these people were big, not some twiggy high school punks.
And, B, our block is nowhere near the town line.
My parents were insistent.
I can pretty much guarantee they were not trick-or-treating.
One was literally in a ski mask.
That's not a costume, by the way.
That's not a costume.
They literally waved to you and freaked you out.
They didn't say trick or treat.
They didn't ring the doorbell like they were going to trick or treat.
True.
They were just standing there.
Ew, you're right.
And also like they freaked out when you noticed them, which should have been the opposite of what happens.
Did they freak out?
I thought they just waved.
They like they both froze like they could see each other.
Yeah. out i thought they just waved i they like they both froze that like they could see each other yeah the dead phone line they explained by pointing out that the service was spotty in the basement and the wireless yeah yeah yeah i agreed to that once they proved that up on the
main floor they could still make a call the fact that it was a cordless phone and therefore couldn't
actually be cut was an excellent point too i was also like wait i guess then you'd have to get it
fixed if it was actually cut but yeah okay fair point fair point also when she said i'm bringing
the phone downstairs i guess she wasn't bringing a long ass land accord right um so while i was
still freaked out i'm i allowed them to convince me that perhaps the people on my porch really
were trick-or-treaters gone astray that was until a few days later when the local newspaper reported
that there had been a string of home invasion
burglaries in our neighborhood that
week and the thieves were never caught.
So sorry this was so long
I wanted to write in several listener tales
over the years, including the story of the original
owner of my house who attempted to
bludgeon his wife with a meat cleaver
in the main bedroom.
But cases of writer's
block always get in the way you did a great job
with this one thank you for countless laughs and horrified gasps over the years in a time of so
much uncertainty it feels good to settle down every sunday with you two who feel like old friends
have a very spooky pre-halloween season but not so spooky that batman and evil robin try to rob
you sydney i love that it's batman he's fine. And then Robin in a ski mask is like, he's certainly evil. There's nothing good about that. I can only
guarantee that for you. Yes. I'm telling you, there's something about a man dressed as a full
grown man dressed as Batman is very unsettling. And when I was little, I had a fear of Batman.
And because I used to have this like recurring nightmare that Batman would walk into my room.
Well,
I was in my crib.
I remember looking through my like crib slots and I'd have this recurring
dream that Batman walked into my room with his cape.
Fun.
And it's not fun.
It's a nightmare.
I'm still scared of Batman.
I had that with monster from the Muppets,
the pink one,
but the orange fun.
Yeah.
Well,
I always thought he was, i always thought he would like
come like dancing out of my closet really yeah i know i was so scared of batman as a kid i didn't
even speak english i probably didn't even understand what the fuck was going on he's
just a man with pointy ears what's happening here a cape this one is called halloween ouija fun uncovers the story of the woman who haunted my childhood
home oh my goodness okay this is from kara she her thank you kara hi nope it says hey hi hello
okay so i talked to a ghost this one time it was pretty cool not the only time i had an encounter
but certainly the only time it was shared with others.
So some background.
In 1998, my parents decided to buy a lot with a small house on it that had been unoccupied for a while to then knock the house down and build something for our family.
The day before we were supposed to move in, a fire started in my dad's office that ultimately destroyed the entire inside of our house.
Oh, shit.
And about 80% of our belongings that we had already been storing in our new home.
That's tragic.
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
I'm sorry.
That's awful.
Luckily, none of us were inside despite the fact that my dad was supposed to be unpacking
stuff but had decided to go golfing instead.
I bet he used that for the rest of their marriage, like, for the rest of their lives.
Like, well, remember when I went golfing
last time? I know. He's like,
I could save our lives. I saved all of your lives.
You just don't know.
Some of the
workers got minor injuries, but there was nothing
severe. God, how scary.
Coincidentally, or so we think,
dun dun dun, there was a fire
on our property about 40 years prior
and the father of the fire chief
who worked on our house was the chief back then and had to put out that fire so it's like a
generational fire it feels like you're in a town where history repeats itself cycles yeah um as a
piece of history the current fire chief gave us the news clippings that reported on the previous
fire that his father had worked on which had included the murder of the woman of the house in addition to the fire,
which was reportedly meant to destroy the remaining evidence.
Additionally, based on the placement of the old house and our house,
the location where each fire started is geographically in a very similar, if not the same place.
Oh.
Yikes.
Moving on, we rebuilt our house and moved in about a year later we had general
understanding that someone had been previously murdered on our property and so when bizarre
things started to happen in the house we would lightheartedly blame the ghost my sister's room
was right above my dad's office where the fire started and she ended up with the brunt of the
weird happenings doors getting stuck bathroom hardware falling off jesus can you imagine being
that poor sibling who's like can i please switch with somebody and you know you like she probably picked
the room like i want this pretty room and it's like i know nice she's probably like she's like
can we please share and they're like i the last thing i want to do is share a room with someone
who's like attached to ghosts who's like faucets fall off and stuff like yeah you can keep that
for yourself yeah you have fun with that.
Yeah.
So hard bathroom hardware falling off, new lights not working, et cetera.
One time my dad was at our kitchen counter and when he reached for his water glass, the
glass shattered before he even touched it.
See ya.
I've never actually, I mean, I've never experienced that.
I can't imagine how jarring that would be, but I've always, part of me, me if I had to experience something I would want it to be something that like unbelievable that like
shocking yeah because you can't play if you literally didn't touch it it's like how do you
even explain that we've covered that on so many stories before and every time I'm like I that one
I kind of can't I have a hard time believing yeah because the shattering is no explanation yeah yeah that one is that one
is super weird fast forward i'm 12 or 13 and i'm hosting a halloween slumber party with about 10
of my friends naturally we decided to bring out the ouija board whilst chilling in the basement
after we fucked around for a good few minutes disturbing spirits and shit i informed my guests
that there was a ghost in the house and suggested we try to communicate with her the conversation wait i was there it was my party um i was playing dance dance revolution down the
street with the other group of nerdy kids don't worry we're all doing the same thing
you were just playing spin the bottle with your mountain dew or something me and my mountain dew
and no boys just me uh the conversation goes as follows me
are you the ghost in this house Ouija yes what is your name s-e-r-e for whatever reason it stopped
there s-e-r-e almost like it was gonna spell Serena oh that's also i like how it's like they said is this the
ghost here and it said yes what if it said no like no this is not the ghost here this is just
the silly one somewhere else i'm just rolling by you know i'm just a vagabond like walt
um s-e-r-e how did you die c-h-o-k-e
then uh how no how did you die okay okay here's the real test when my dad's water glass broke
was that you i-h-i-t-i-T. I hit it.
That's fucking bananas. That's wild.
That one I do not like.
That's the one where I go, oh, I hate it.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Good for you.
Love it.
What?
I don't like it.
I'm also a vagabond.
I'm heading out of here.
I feel unsafe.
Then Kara says, oh my God, guys.
She said she hit the glass.
Bagel of preteen girls shrieking at the top of our lungs so we all run up from the basement my mom who was concerned and pissed all
the same asked us what was wrong i shared with her the story and asked her the name of the woman who
had died in the fire my mom guessed it was something like mary lou or something like that
but offered to grab the news clipping while we ate our dessert sidebar my mom makes a bomb ass mud pie every halloween that she was famous for but i digress is a very important
detail thank you don't be shy send the recipe that's okay hi you're gonna end the recipe
i don't got time for that um when my mom returned she walked slowly into the room eyes glued to the
news clipping and paler than i'd ever seen her i eagerly asked her what was wrong and she handed me the clipping to read and share with my friends the woman's name was serena
bada bing one two three oopity bopity that's serena right there serena and she had been
strangled to death before the house was set on fire oh shit so like they didn't even know that
the kids didn't even know that serena kids didn't even know that. Serena.
That's horrible.
That's awful.
Also, it's very scary for the kids.
Holy crap.
Yes.
And also awful that this is, like, a real story that actually happened.
Mm-hmm.
It was alleged that she had been having an affair with the landscaper and that her husband had murdered her and set their bed on fire before going to work.
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
To my knowledge, the case was never solved and there was not enough evidence to convict
either of them. So as it turned out, the Ouija board
fucking works and I talked to the woman whose spirit
was lingering in my childhood home.
Luckily, we never had a negative interaction with Serena
and we continue to share the story with friends and family
who claim they don't believe in ghosts.
End of story. That is
bad. That's some goose cam right there.
That, I feel like, adds some
detail to when you're playing Ouija board and it like spells some nonsense yeah maybe it's like trying to
spell something and you just don't get it or it doesn't finish the word i'm so sorry but my arms
are so bumpy right now it's bad with this creepy story you know that's exactly it when we whenever
like you do a ouija board and it just like spells nothing it could totally be trying to finish and
like half a word we've done it before where the it was allegedly it was like a little kid and like it
just didn't know how to spell yeah okay I mean I did a Ouija board recently fun fact I know everyone's
like god damn it but I listen we did Christine bought a Ouija board for her house and you know
are we surprised no and the kid said his name was lazarus but he
like spelled it kind of funny and then we were like that's weird and he was having trouble
spelling things and we're like how old are you and it was like four and we were like oh so sweet
yeah well anyway until it's a demon so until it's like i'm not lazar i'm lazarus of hell
uh okay so here is our next story.
This is from Shelby, who uses
her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns, Shelby.
And the
title is, My Great
Grandfather Was a Doctor for
the Exorcist.
What? Like for
the exorcist, the movie?
Oh, interesting.
Like for the exorcist, not like an exorcist you know yeah yeah
yeah we'll find i don't know we'll find out what what she means hello my four-legged two-legged
and fruit friends i wish it said zero-legged friends but that's okay my name is shelby what
about eight-legged for skylar is Is anybody remembering Skylar? Wait, yeah, it just keeps double or
having, I guess, eight, four, two. It's just, I mean, it's fine. Like Skylar, I guess we'll get
over it. The pain of being left out, but whatever. You know, I bet Skylar thinks about you too,
Christine. This sounds like a cry for help. I miss Skylar. And it's okay. Skylar misses you too i'm sure i don't but i love your love for him thank you that way um so
hello all these legs and friends without legs okay my my name is shelby and boy do i have a
story for you i was recently talking about your podcast with my grandmother when she just casually
dropped these stories on me i love that i love that our podcast started this yeah and i'm loving that the gram or your grandma like passed the vibe check
like new million percent oh that's the type of podcast we're working with like i understand
step aside i have something to add exactly so here are some of the stories i guess many people
know and have watched the 1973 movie the exorcist but what
people do not know is that it was based on a real life medical case from st louis missouri
the movie starts stars a 12 year old girl but in reality in 1949 a 10 year old boy was admitted
to st louis university hospital presenting very strange symptoms yes roland doe or something, right? Oh my God, yes. Ronnie Mannheim. I covered him.
Yes, he did.
At this time, my great-grandfather, Dr. Owen J. McNamee.
What a name.
McNamee.
McNamee, sorry.
At this time, my great-grandfather, Dr. Owen J. McNamee, had worked as a physician in St. Louis for many years and was well known around
town. And in the words of my lovely
grandma, doctors did everything back
then. He would deliver
babies, make house calls, was certified to
perform surgery, and even stitched up
bullet holes if needed. Wow.
In fact, my great grandmother would be
upset when he would come home at one or
two in the morning only for him to inform
her a bag was
thrown over his head while headed to his car after his shift and he had to stitch up bullet wounds
and a member of the st louis crime family they're like we need your help but you can't look us in
the eye but also like that's the most like tea time tuesday bullshit like every single one of
you people is like oh my grandparents were involved with the gang, like my hometown gang.
They'd be like, oh, yeah, my grandma invited the mob over for tea and got all their secrets.
Anyway.
Every single Tea Time Tuesday, there's at least one person who is affiliated with the mob.
And I'm like, what is wrong with all of our grandparents?
So I guess this person, if you have not joined patreon and been a part
of tea time tuesday we're just getting the full story now i guess yeah uh also affiliated with
the mob being the gentleman that they were the crime family by the way the giordano family always
told him to apologize to mrs mcnamee for us like as like, we know we're taking her time away from you. Her casserole's
getting cold. Yeah. So apologize to her for us. That's so cute. Well, shout out to that. I mean,
they're, like, shooting each other. That's not cute. But, you know, this part's cute.
But they still respect women, damn it. Okay? To an extent, probably. In 1949, my great-grandfather
was working as a physician at all three Catholic hospitals in the area, St. Louis University Hospital, St. Mary's, and St. Anthony's. It was late in the year when a
colleague of his asked if he was willing to consult on an unusually presenting case of a 10-year-old
boy. And when he initially walked into the patient's room, he was surprised to see a swarm
of doctors, nurses, priests, and worried parents surrounding a young boy with sandy blonde hair and blue eyes.
I thought it was going to say swarm of flies.
I know, me too.
I was like, ah, not the flies.
I thought for sure it was going to be flies.
So the boy looked slightly malnourished and pale, but seemed normal.
And he watched as other physicians asked questions,
took vitals, and conferred with others.
And it was only when a priest approached did the boy recoil as if stung and avoid the cross hanging from the man's neck.
The boy then opened his mouth to speak and a deep, unnatural voice came out speaking in Latin.
And the boy seemed to be possessed.
Seemed?
Was.
Seemed.
Over the course of multiple months months my grandfather saw things that
he could not explain and the boy's symptoms seems to be getting more intense the boy would originally
flip between his true personality and the darker demonic one and he seemed young and concerned one
moment and then went stone cold and eerily still the next but soon it seemed he was stuck in the
darker personality the boy would hiss and spit
at the priests and holy water seemed to burn his skin my great-grandfather once witnessed the
seemingly tiny boy punch one of them in the face and break his nose oh my god during this time the
priests would try to complete exorcisms while the boy screamed and taunted them while the priests
were trying from one angle my great-grandfather and the other physicians were trying from another.
They tried different tests, took x-rays, and tried to keep weight on the boy as it seemed he was wasting away from not eating.
One memory that my grandmother told me truly stuck out was when the boy was being transferred to a different area in the hospital
and all the crosses on the walls turned upside down as his bed rolled past them.
Oh no, oh no, no oh no oh no who would leave
that little detail out in a movie because it'd be so perfect why would you leave it out i haven't
seen it as you know well i mean any i've never seen that in any demon movie like someone should
be taking advantage of that piece of information i've seen that the crosses turn upside down
but not as you're on a gurney going through the hall and they're going with you you're right you're right that's
synchronized as far as i'm concerned synchronized demonic activity synchronized crosses so he also
was walking past the patient's room at one point and glanced in only to see the boy levitating off
the bed as he walked past okay i like that your grandpa was in like, oh, wrong room and just kept walking.
Not my place.
Not, not, that's above my pay grade.
Not here, not now.
And I'm a doctor,
so I probably get paid pretty damn well.
But still above my pay grade.
I could be, I could be, I don't know,
Jeff Bezos.
And if I saw someone floating,
I'd be like, that's above my pay grade.
I'm not here for
that uh after many months of testing the boy to the best of their ability and many exorcisms the
boy mysteriously just got better the entourage of priests nurse and doctors walked in one morning
and the boy was just strangely fine as if nothing had happened apparently he looked thin and slightly
tired but the weight of being in the room with the other being was gone as the case
after the case ended my great-grandfather said that wing of a hospital always felt strange and
weird things continued to happen afterwards not quite as crazy as a possession but it felt dark
and crosses would still sometimes be found hanging in the wrong direction i don't love that i really
don't because of this the wing was rarely used and i think it was eventually torn down good because
i was about to say if you literally have to go to that hospital,
like, something's floating around looking for a new body.
It's a new host.
I'm glad that it's torn down.
All right, now imagine how shocked I was when my grandma just casually mentioned
that my great-grandfather was a doctor for the exorcist over Tuesday night BLTs.
I had to pump her for more information i know you like to
end things on a good note so here's one to lighten the mood my great grandmother the lovely mrs
mcnamee and the story above was never one to be upstaged by her husband and was certainly no
delicate flower she opened and ran a the first flight school in st. Louis and flew with Amelia Earhart. I'm sorry. What is your
grandparents were hustlers just saying like they were your grandpa worked all three hospitals.
Wow, he was helping the mob. He was well trusted enough to be on the exorcism case.
And now your grandma's just casually flying around with Amelia Earhart at her own flight school. Are you fucking kidding me?
She was a model for Peveley Milk and she raised five girls.
Hell yeah.
Can you imagine being a dairy model?
That's so fun.
I am obsessed with the milk model.
I would like to be a milk model for Ben and Jerry's.
What do we think about this dairy model situation?
It also seems like being a badass in life
has carried over into the afterlife for her
because she likes to come visit
and check up on us from time to time.
When I was maybe around three or four,
my mother and I were playing in my room
when I asked mommy, who's that lady behind you?
My mom behind the, being the voodoo voodoo lady she is,
had already talked to a psychic about my sister and i and she told her that both
me and my sister could see spirits she informed her that most are not harmful but they didn't
come around as much as people age because they become scared of them interesting whoa with this
in mind my mom asked me to describe the lady i said she had short brown hair was wearing a pink
suit and a funny little hat what she informed me later was that that was my great grandmother um who was buried in a light pink
pantsuit and a pink pillbox hat oh apparently they have there have been other instances of
her coming to check in but i like to think that she's off flying her planes and just swings by
every once in a while oh i just had to share all of that for you off flying her planes and just swings by every once in a while.
Aww.
I just had to share all of that for you.
I love your podcast, and I'm forever grateful that it kept me company during a long quarantine.
Congrats on the baby, Christine, and congrats to Em for all the yummy Tony Chocoloni.
I like that we both get something to be thankful for.
Much love from me and all my four-legged friends, Shelby.
Wow. Wow. Woweegged friends, Shelby. Wow.
Wow.
Wowee.
What a story.
Yeah.
Well done.
Also, everyone in your family sounds so cool.
You should write a book.
Like your grandma, in theory, is a great grandma.
She literally has the connect to Amelia Earhart's ghost. She she can be like where the fuck are you you know valid get that Ouija board out from
Kara tell her bring your girl Amelia over we're all gonna have a chat you know yeah
recently find her um there was like another like uh just like or yeah, I don't think that they solved it though.
Shelby, get your grandma on the phone.
Yeah.
On the horn.
On the horn.
Wow.
What a tale.
Holy crap.
Wowza.
Well, good for your grandma for just being like, oh yeah, haunted stories.
Oh, I didn't know you wanted one of those.
Let me just get one of many out.
Eat your BLT and listen up.
Yeah. wanted one of those let me just get one of many out eat your blt and listen up yeah
oh boy okay so this is from samantha let's see sam sorry she her hers thank you sam
sam and miss aggie who seems to be the world's cutest little cat oh my gosh what a babe excuse me sorry there
are photos attached so this is from sam uh sam sorry sam she her hers thank you sam hi i'm
christine and eva i hope you are all doing well i just listened to episode 230 where m tells a story
of agnes sampson aka the wise wife of keith and i had to write in
to let you know the story of my cat aggie i was literally going to ask if aggie and agnes have
something in common i forgot did i tell you the subject of the email i think i don't think i don't
think i know it's my haunted necklace question mark oh not what i was expecting no i know i was like my haunted kitty cat relevant
okay we'll find out i found miss aggie on the side of the road living under cars by my apartment in
new york she's a tiny black cat about seven pounds and she has extremely witchy vibes
just like moonshine and shadow her vampire fangs stick out of her mouth when she sleeps
oh my god that's very moonshine cute
uh and her official adoption date and birthday is halloween see attached pic i wanted to name
her something witchy and settled on aggie one part for agatha christie one part for aggie
cromwell from halloween town one love it i know what uh one part for agnes waterhouse aka mother
waterhouse the first woman executed for witchcraft in England in 1566.
You, wow, this is quite a name.
Loving that you just had this, like, hoard of knowledge about Agathas or Agneses or whatever.
Agnes was, when Blaze and I were talking about names, one of the names I really liked was Agnes because, oh, I told you this already because of a, I think, a song by Glass Animals.
I think you literally told me during the Agnes episode.
That was when it was.
You're totally right.
I've already talked about this.
Um,
okay.
Da da da da da.
So Agnes,
yes.
Agnes Waterhouse,
blah,
blah,
blah.
And one part for black Aggie,
a folkloric and purportedly haunted statue of a draped,
melancholy and mysterious woman seated at the Agnes family plot in
Pikesville,
Maryland.
Okay. Did you just go on wikipedia and
click like list of agnes's or i know what happened there also like why haven't we covered agatha
harkness from a lot of wandavision that's oh sorry that's not part of the tale um katherine
hahn everyone's cat should be named after katherine hahn i guess so whoever that is um i attached another photo
she is quite scary yes this this statue i can tell you right now is very scary looking it's
like a cloaked figure i'm telling you yes yeah um after this week's episode i'm happy to tack
on another meeting to my cat's name for miss agnes sampson although her body is small i promise she Oh, that's so sweet.
Now I want to name my baby Agnes again.
Moving into my...
Oh, go ahead, go ahead.
Moving into my personal story, I grew up in the suburbs of Boston by Salem, Mass.
That sounds about right.
My teachers in high school always found excuses for us to take field trips to Salem.
Oh, I'm so jealous.
In one particular instance, my junior year involved my art class visiting the Peabody Art Museum. my teachers in high school always found excuses for us to take field trips to Salem. I'm so jealous.
And one particular instance, my junior year involved my art class visiting the Peabody Art Museum.
I've always loved Salem, so of course I jumped at the opportunity to go again,
especially because we were scheduled to go the week before Halloween.
I was walking down the street with a friend admiring Salem in the throes of Halloween when we stumbled on a woman selling necklaces.
She had a huge setup of different
types, but this beautiful Capricorn necklace caught my eye. Parentheses, let's go caps.
Okay. Okay. Well, I'll give it to you. Also, side note, I'm loving that. I mean,
obviously as a teacher in Salem, I also would be doing everything for a field trip at all turns.
So I get it. I do too. And I'm like, wow, I don't think my teachers at the time would have done
that for me, but I wish I had that kind of attitude from, you know, more teachers.
That's such a fun.
A lot of my teachers were like, they weren't like ex-military and they always wanted to
take us to battlefields.
And I was like, okay, but like other people get to go to Salem.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, we had to go to like the
zoo so yes it was a small pendant on a simple black string i bought the necklace off the woman
and she took my money with a small smile and a wink i put it on immediately when my friend and
i rounded the corner to go back the woman and her setup had vanished what also i'm loving that she winked when she gave it to you like
you know what to do with this yeah put it on around your neck wear it to show other people
i don't have to you do the rest but okay so creepy that she's just so creepy yikes and she says it
wasn't a small table it was a full metal contraption with hundreds of jewelry pieces that stretched at least 10 feet that had somehow dissipated.
Oh, shit.
What the fuck?
Confused, we looked around a few streets.
Also, she had a friend with her.
So, like, clearly, her friend was probably like, I saw that too.
Like, it was right here.
Yeah.
Confused, we looked around a few streets on either side and found nothing.
I apologized to the friend and said I must have misremembered, but we quickly forgot about it and went on with the trip.
Fast forward to months later, I still haven't taken the necklace off.
I loved that necklace.
I unapologetically wore it with everything and literally planned outfits around it.
I even traveled to three different countries with it.
One day, the necklace disappeared.
Oh, well, I'm not really surprised by that.
I feel like that had to happen, right?
I said it so dramatically, but I knew you were gonna be like well yeah i feel like there was something magical about the necklace
like oh it's only meant to be with you a certain amount of time for a certain period of time it
will know when it's meant to move on to someone else some something else wink uh you know i
unapologetically three different countries one day the necklace disappeared i couldn't find it
anywhere and i ripped apart my house and traced my steps through school work
my car anything that's sad in those few weeks I did not have the necklace I felt naked and weirdly
I felt followed oh I don't like that doors would slam behind me wherever I went with no one around
things kept banging in my closet late at night, always after midnight, and when I checked them out, nothing had fallen off the hangers or moved. My dog refused to hang
around me, and I got extremely sick. Like never in school, doctors were confused, ravaged my immune
system, and triggered my horrible genetic anxiety and depression to rear their ugly heads type of
sick. After months and months of this, I finally was in a deep, immobilizing sleep when something in me went on high alert.
Out of my sleep, I shot straight up in bed like my waist was on a hinge and grabbed my hand out into the dark and snatched my missing necklace out of thin air.
What?
What?
That's magic.
Oh my god.
Like, just grabbed your head out of the void.
While you were sleeping.
I don't know.
Okay, Christine, lay it on me.
What's the science behind that one?
Let's keep going.
I was frozen like that until I fully woke up and realized what had just happened.
Weirdly, I wasn't scared though.
I remember putting the necklace on the bedside table and falling back asleep. In the morning, I looked over and my necklace was there,
proving I hadn't dreamt it. And most insanely, all of the freaky hauntings and presences that
had been following me vanished. I got better and never knew why I'd been sick and everything went
back to normal. Everyone around me was freaked out by the necklace story, but in retelling it,
I always felt calm about it. I now believe it was somehow protecting me in a weird way and came into my life when i needed it i still have it in a little oh i
have goose cam i still have it in a little box that sits on my dresser and always will think
of that woman from salem who disappeared after she sold it to me lots of love to you and yours
sam and miss aggie oh i feel like she i feel like this little i'm gonna call her a little witch
this little uh necklace sales lady i feel like she just kind feel like this little, I'm going to call her a little witch, this little, uh, necklace sales lady.
I feel like she just kind of flew into the necklace and you, you keep her tight now.
Oh yeah.
She winked and like, poof, into the little pendant.
She was like, I'll see you later.
So do you think, I'll be on your chest.
Oh God.
Also, I, oh, go ahead.
I was just going to say, do you think, um, that like she lost the necklace by accident
and like, like actually lost it it and that's why i don't
know it feels like she like pulled it out of like a manifestation or something no i mean like when
she lost it like when it disappeared i don't know i feel like it i i feel like items leave on purpose
sometimes i feel like it maybe but i don't know what the reason would have been yeah i don't know what the reason would be
especially if like she felt like weird without it it's like it wasn't supposed to like maybe
someone else took it or i like i'm thinking what if she dropped it or lost it and that that's when
the protection went away and it had to like find its way back to her to like bring back the that's
a very precious story i don't know i do like that when she pulled it out of like whatever dimension she did um i like that she felt calm because that like validates the time
where like i've seen things standing at the foot of the bed and i knew they were nice because i
weirdly didn't feel calm it's like they like put that they can lay all over you exactly yeah which
always freaks me out because if that's true then all the times that i've felt that you're scared that they intentionally didn't want to put the veil over i completely that's what
i think of every time i'm like then the opposite must be true yeah wow i don't know that really
blows my mind that's some that's that's a weird one that's freaky i got nothing except that's
fucking weird it's like what like what i wonder what the third party perspective would have been on that.
Like, did, like, would you just see her, like, do this and then all of a sudden pull back and now there's a necklace in her hand?
Yeah, was it hanging there for 10 minutes before she was, like, on the wing?
I know, like, where did it go?
Like, what happened?
Like, did it float in from, like, was it like the, like, the Chef Boyardee commercial where it rolled all the way back to you?
It was a meatball.
Yeah.
I don't know. That is fre is freaky though that's super weird well thank you for that story holy crap uh let me make sure i
got you that was sam yes and aggie all right well this is our last story this is a shorty but this
is from lauren who uses she her pronouns thank you for normalizing pronouns lauren and the subject line is my creepy kid and a halloween decoration oh creepy kid creepy kid
love a good creepy kid uh until yours is born until m's has to deal with it in person yeah
i like them from afar and you're about to really like shove it in my face all the time i can already
tell so lauren says last halloween i was listening to and that's why we drink by the way i always love when the messages don't say hi like and that's not
even me being sarcastic i think it's like such a good writer's choice like twist uh it's like
brass tacks my friend let's get the fuck it's like you know i like the show don't make me say it
it immediately makes me think that lauren is like a rough and tough new yorker it's like
yeah yeah yeah enough with the casualties.
Enough with the niceness.
Okay.
Last Halloween I was listening to And That's Why I Drink while working from home, per usual.
And you guys had mentioned how kids are more sensitive to spirits.
I had already known that, but it just feels relevant for what happened immediately after.
I saw my husband pulling into the driveway with my three-year-old so i turned
off the podcast rude that your husband gets priority we were talking excuse you so i turned
off the podcast because uh she's too little to hear all the creepy stuff you talk about all right
fine you know what just put the kid in another room just guilt me if you must when she walked
into the house she immediately walked past me and directly to the big window that faces the woods.
I followed her over and crouched down to see what she was looking at since it was very odd that she didn't come in and give me a hug hello after being at daycare all day.
She then pointed into the woods and said, Halloween decoration.
Oh, oh no.
I don't like that.
Which makes me think it's either a vampire or a
skeleton or a bat or a witch something like a dead body or something or skeleton a coffin yeah
something that you would find at the spirit halloween um i don't have any halloween decorations
nor do we have any neighbors so she was literally just pointing out at the trees see at this point
if she said christmas decoration i'd be like she's onto something that's a tree right i guess have any neighbors so she was literally just pointing out at the trees see at this point if
she said christmas decoration i'd be like she's on to something that's a tree right i guess maybe
if it's a spooky looking tree maybe i don't know i don't know that's just me maybe if it gets wings
and takes flight at night or something sure like those famous flying halloween trees that you see
a spirit halloween okay but spirit tm tm tm because if you call it create a flying
tree i'd like to be in on that um i said at first no it's just the woods but she insisted there was
a creepy face oh and kept pointing and saying right there at this point i didn't want to dismiss
the fact that she obviously was perceiving something in the woods to look like a halloween
decoration but i also didn't want her to be scared so i said oh yeah it's a silly face she then turned to me looked me dead in the eyes and she said
no and then she walked away and never mentioned it again what the end that's it also also not
even a goodbye from lauren that's like that's a that's a new yorker right there the end no it
just stops i was like wow just says she walked away and never mentioned it again.
Oh, my God.
And then Lauren was like off to the L line or something.
So I don't know.
I like how Lauren clearly lives in the woods with no neighbors and you're still on this
like New York kick.
Like clearly.
She's Fran Drescher and I'll accept nothing less.
But like, I love that.
See, that's the kind of thing.
That's the kind of parent I would like to be of like,
oh, I want to acknowledge that you're afraid
or that you see something.
Yeah.
And then like, make sure you feel believed, right?
Like I'm not going to dismiss your fears.
But also that's such a fine line to walk
because you're like, you don't want to be like,
yes, there's a terrifying demon there.
You know what I mean?
Right.
Like either you say no and you're invalidating the experience or you say yes and you're confirming
what they're seeing exactly and you don't even know what it is it's like holy shit well you did
a great job lauren i don't know what i would have done in that situation so it's just a shame you've
got a creepy little kid that's all it's what a shame i mean it sounds like she was pretty uh
What a shame.
I mean, it sounds like she was pretty, like, tough, right?
Yeah.
She's like, no, it's not a funny face.
She was like, goodbye. She has the same kind of attitude you do by not saying hi and goodbye in your letter.
She's just like, are you fucking with me right now?
Like, this is, we've got.
What is silly about this fucking demon face?
Mom, we've got bigger fish to fry.
Don't you know this?
Come on.
Wow.
Chop, chop, chop.
That's creepy. demon face mom we've got bigger fish to fry don't you know this come on wow chop chop chop that's by the way love that you can already kind of in that very small way and i've already decided
like you're both your personalities but i love how you're both similar in that way of just like
no like i'm not here no no pleasantries it's a scary fucking body it's a scary face creepy face
stop trying to make it stop calling it silly it's nothing silly about it it's a scary face creepy face stop trying to make it stop calling it silly it's nothing
silly about it it's a halloween decoration also i like to think she'll bring that out as a teenager
too of like mom get with the times it's not silly like it's not creepy or it's not it's not as silly
as you want it to be get with the times i would be afraid if my kid looked outside in the woods
and said halloween decoration I'd be like, no,
nah,
I wouldn't,
I wouldn't be super scared right away.
But the second that I couldn't see something and my baby was like,
so adamant about it,
she said it was a creepy face Halloween decoration.
I'd be like,
well,
cause I like,
if one thing I could be like,
Oh,
trees with no leaves,
maybe at daycare,
they were drawing trees.
Like who knows?
But the face thing,
I can't explain like, no, no. Yeah. Laurenuren you handled that like a champ because i i definitely don't
know what i would have done i would have called em and been like deal with this oh and then i
would have said call lauren like what are you wasting my time answer my calls remember
oh well thank you everyone who wrote in for uh for It's spooky season. We're finally, we get to ring it in now.
So I hope that your next 31 days are full of fear and fright,
but in a very happy, pleasant, expected, wanted way.
Also candy, also pumpkin snacks.
Also, you know, whatever your heart desires.
Costumes, if you like.
No Batman.
Arts and crafts, if you like.
No robbing Batman.
No. Hmm. costumes if you like no Batman if you like no robbing Batman no um hmm I think I think you're just gonna have I'm gonna manifest for everyone that our October is gonna be pretty great and at
the beginning of this year Christine when I said this could be the decade where we meet our kids
now I can officially say this could be the month we meet your kid I uh it should be a jump it will
it will be I guess unless this comes out and i've had a kid within
the two and a half days that are remaining in september as we record this which are also
possible but odds are i think at this point it's october yeah i don't know we'll see we'll see
well uh thank you everyone hope you have a very spooky season and that's why we drink