Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Adele Is Blacker Than Beyonce
Episode Date: September 1, 2020This week Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia and Mark discuss if Adele is blacker than Beyonce, how Corona is fat peoples fault, if you would be fine with Brad Pitt smashing your girl, pregnancy porn is the m...ost normal, if you steal from self checkout, the passing of Chadwick Boseman and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello everyone
There's been a new introduction to the podcast
We need to raise the stakes
Okay
We need to get a little bit more intense in here
We're resting on our laurels
I don't know what just happened right there
What are we resting on?
Because my brain was telling me
I need Neuralink
My brain was telling me to do it
Yeah
To say laurels
Yeah
And then it just did not come out
i tried three times yeah anyway point is mark saying dunkin donuts yeah don't he can't say
i say it normal so mark does say dunkin donuts normally but we started a little thing to make
him think that he says it weird okay this is all before the podcast so shut the fuck up so i could
introduce this thing everybody anyway we have this nerf gun here okay this nerf gun is filled with exactly
three bullets okay these three bullets represent three fuck-ups by somebody on this podcast okay
that could be akash that could be alex media that could be mark gagnon that could be and Gagnon. That could be Andrew Schultz. Okay? Upon a fuck up, a Nerf bullet might fire.
But keep in mind, Mr. Ocosh, keep in mind Alex Meade, keep in mind Mark Gagnon.
You run out of bullets, there's nothing you could do.
Okay?
Well, we don't know.
Maybe we'll amend that rule.
But at the moment that I'm making the rules up as we speak, there's nothing that you could do when you run out of bullets.
So make sure when you're saying your shit that it's on point.
That doesn't mean you can't be wrong.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
Doesn't mean you can't be wrong.
You could be wrong, especially when we're doing feelings, no facts.
Okay?
If you say something I don't like, then you could get shot.
Okay.
That's all.
Al? Okay, Al. I don't like, then you can get shot. Okay. That's all. Al,
Al,
I swear to God,
Al,
Al,
I swear,
give me one,
enough of this shot.
I know, right?
Oh, I'm abusing this one.
Enough of this shot.
The Black Lives Matter.
This is Alex's idea.
Alex is like,
we need to restore order. You said law and order. is like we need to restore order
you said law and order
you said we need to restore
there's no heat over here
I'm out here in the turquoise
what color is this?
I'll take it
sea foam
sea foam
I'm out here in the sea foam
chillin
you mean women's green?
I got women's green
I'm wearing my girl's sweatshirt
it is what it is
say what brand that is
sporty and rich
sporty and rich
I'm not afraid
I'm not moving out of New York
Seinfeld do you know what I'm saying Akash I'm not moving out of New York. Seinfeld.
Do you know what I'm saying, Akash?
It's good to see y'all agreeing on something.
That's it.
We're good.
We're with it.
I don't know.
I'm agreeing with what you said.
I didn't even hear it in its totality.
Fix your brain today, son.
I don't know what happened.
Akash put something in Dunkin' Donuts and turned an Indian.
Everything.
I tried to say laurels and shit came out.
Bippity, bippity, bibbity, bob.
Yeah, but I bet you can spell
everything you can't say though.
Son, I don't even want
to go into that story.
Maybe later we go into it.
I was wrong.
It's worth mentioning at home
we also all have guns.
Oh, yeah.
Everybody has a gun.
Yeah, you didn't say that.
Well, if I say something wrong
you can shoot me.
You know what I'm saying?
We'd be shooting you
the whole episode.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Oh, man.
Had that pretty conveniently loaded up, huh, Al?
Okay, a little peaceful protest.
That's what it is.
Okay.
What, Al?
Al got a Kyle Rittenhouse tattoo.
Yo, Al, you remember your Kyle Rittenhouse tattoo?
Shit the fuck.
Remember that little pudgy white boy that shoots up people at the march? Let's not do that. What? He got a Kyle Rittenhouse tattoo? Shit the fuck. Remember that little pudgy white boy that shoots up people at the march?
Let's not do that.
What happened?
He got a Kyle Rittenhouse tattoo.
That kid is chubby, bro.
Yeah, he got some little titties, bro.
You know who Kyle Rittenhouse is?
Yeah, I know Kyle Rittenhouse.
How do you got a Kyle Rittenhouse tattoo?
Kyle Rittenhouse was out there with his prepubescent chest.
You know what I'm saying?
Trying to protect a gas station from dangerous whites.
Before.
Okay?
He was protecting it from dangerous whites, Al.
Okay.
Because you know how them whites get down.
And what did he start to do with them whites when they was bucking off?
Well, he knew.
Killed them dead.
Yeah, he killed a couple. He killed a couple whites dead.
How he killed white people?
He killed white people, bro.
That's what I'm saying.
Now, let me ask you this.
That's proof
that all lives don't matter.
That is proof.
Wait, what?
White protester lives
do not matter.
White black lives matter.
Supporters do not matter.
They do.
White black lives matter. Supporters do not matter. Because Kyle. White Black Lives Matter supporters do not matter.
Because Kyle Rittenhouse shot and killed a couple white people.
I think he shot one more white guy.
This motherfucker hates white people, bro.
Yeah, but the group that was going.
Which side was he on?
That's why I don't like crime.
If you were a white conservative, wouldn't you hate white liberals more than black people?
Holy shit.
Yo, fuck you.
First of all, you traitor.
Second of all, you mad annoying.
Third of all, shut the fuck up.
Everybody's like, yo, he went there to kill black people.
No.
I went there to-
Ow.
Watch who you pointed at, pig.
No.
Okay, easy.
Okay, no.
I went there to kill annoying people.
He went to kill annoying, but that's just like what you say.
You don't trust Hindus with white names.
I don't trust Indians with white names.
Indians with white names. Yeah, absolutely not. And that's just like what you say. You don't trust Hindus with white names. I don't trust Indians with white names. Indians with white names.
Yeah, absolutely not.
And that's what conservative whites, they don't trust whites that are out there at the Black Lives Matter march.
Yeah.
So Kyle Rittenhouse was like, hey, it's on and popping.
Started bucking off on whites.
They're dead now.
Now this gas station.
Are you happy?
R.I.P.
Allies.
Woo!
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. allies allies that's what you just said
allies you see because he doesn't
care if they rest in peace Al
what are their names say their names
say their names
Al
what is this
what does the ally ship get you
say their names
Al
we're not going to disrespect them like that what are their names we're not gonna disrespect them like that you know let them rest in peace
what are their names peter patrick paul if we say peter pumpkin eater we say it three times
what's going on what happens if you say it three times a loaf of wonder bread appears
we're not gonna laugh
bakery pops up in a rough neighborhood
we're not gonna laugh at this Kyle Ray in the house is a
murderer
murderer
right I'm just saying
whose side claims him
I mean it's kind of clear
what it's kind of clear he was killing kind of clear that he was killing the white male
patriarchy bro but the side that's paying for his lawyer fees and shit like that i think they're
the ones that which side the right the right is paying for it yeah they're paying for his lawyers
are they really yes are you positive yes are you sure i'll be knowing this shit daily yo there was a fun started for him
yeah they oh they started a fun yeah we know who started that it could have been george soros
oh you know who he is al yeah actually yeah you gotta get on a little youtube wormhole if you
want to figure out about that is george soros real i've never seen a picture of this guy bro
i don't know who that motherfucker is that's just who's he's like the big bad guy on the left you know the coke brothers are the big bad guy on the right
right he's a big bad guy on the left he's professor x coke brothers are magneto right
that's all it is okay george soros out there fun and all your shit
yo cocking the gun is almost more fun Than shooting it bro 100%
Cause you let motherfuckers
Know it's about to go down
You would think
They would make guns
That didn't need that
Oh they need that
Why
Because for that exact reason
Oh to like set the tone
Yo that shit
Yo
Bro that's like
When a snake rattles his tail
Right there
He's about to go down
Oh my god
That's when you tear the condom
Yeah
Yeah I'm about to feel
Nothing You see that girl And neither are you bitch He's about to go down Oh my god That's when you tear the condom Yeah Yeah I'm about to feel nothing
You see that girl
And neither are you bitch
It's just the both of us
Look at each other
Stone face
I gotta try fucking with a condom again
It's been so long
Since I've had a condom
How long has it been bro
Hit it
Hit it tomorrow
Throwback Tuesday
I might have to throwback Thursday
That shit for real
My bro
I haven't had sex
I haven't had sex.
Now she's going to think you cheated.
No, no, no, no.
She not.
She is.
Yo, my girl hit me with this shit the other day.
We were walking in.
She's like, do you think that we're going to have problems reproducing?
And I go, why?
She goes, well, I'm not on the pill or anything.
Like, we haven't ever used condoms.
And I said, girl, if goes, well, I'm not on the pill or anything. Like, we haven't ever used condoms. Whoa.
And I said, girl, if you don't watch your mouth,
I'll get you pregnant and prove a point out of this bitch.
She said, you old fuck. You don't even got a swim in no more.
Listen, your stomach about to be dry.
On the outside, on the inside, it's going to be lathered.
She's trying to bait and switch you.
That's what she's trying to do. She's trying to bait and switch you. She's trying to bait and switch.
Oh, you won't.
You won't.
Oh my, where's she at?
She's smart.
I like her.
You got a couple shots
to fire up in there.
About three million.
Give her ovaries
a little waxy coating.
But for real,
that's disrespect.
But then whose side
is she rooting for?
Because she said pre-cum
has come in it. And like I've stayed on this podcast many times. I've rooting for? Because she said pre-cum has come in it.
And like I've stayed on this podcast many a time.
I've heard you can get pregnant from pre-cum.
You can't get pregnant from no pre-cum.
If you cum and then don't pee, then there could be sperm in the pre-cum if you go again.
If you go round two.
You know round two.
We're not worried about that over here, bro.
Round two.
Talk about round two.
Fuck you, Puerto Ricans. sometimes it's time to stop salsaing
come on bro you can't run it back
it needs to be one round and then you're out
but that's exactly right
you fuck there's still some cum left in your dick
right cause you ain't toothpaste it
or piss after
you gotta go go-gurt
you gotta go go-gurt
ooh drip drip drip drip You ain't toothpaste it. Yeah. Or piss after. You got to go go-gurt. You got to go go-gurt. Yeah.
Ooh, drip, drip.
Go-gurt. Drip, drip.
Yo, that's that drip, drip.
Boy, you never go-gurt that shit out?
Come on.
It's so good.
Son, Mark is 14 years old.
You don't even know about all these fruit snacks and stuff.
Yeah.
Motherfuckers still drink applesauce out the little thing with the top that screws off.
He got the applesauce pouches.
I love those.
Those are actually mad good. They're delicious, bro're delicious bro and they're really easy to travel with and i
thought applesauce was good for you because i thought it was just apples punched yes that's
what i thought but it's not it's not yo what does it have in it mad sugars sugars
you would think the apple would be sugars enough healthy uh-huh you thought didn't you we all thought but it turns out no
okay a lot of things have been turning out no lately al you've been all up on this fucking
cdc you've been all up on that website you didn't share that information the truth that came out
about it what happened the fuck are you talking you know what happened when they've been lying
to us about corona all Corona this whole time.
Liberal Al.
What's coming now?
No.
What's coming now?
Listen, I went to the doctor today, Al.
You can tell Drew Mark has been in some war.
He's not even involved in this.
I went to the doctor to check on my finger that I broke a long time ago that I never got fixed.
What kind of doctor?
I had a doctor that was Indian.
Okay.
Valid information coming.
Okay.
Yes.
That Sweden guy really handled you like that, son?
What Sweden guy?
When he side swiped you?
Yo, you crazy, bro.
Your finger's still broken, son?
No, this is from a skirmish with my brother.
Okay?
This happened over two months ago.
My finger's still not straight.
I can't tell my brother.
Only white people say skirmish.
It was a skirmish, bro.
It was a skirmish.
Mark, you put that gun up in there one
more time i swear my fire warning shot okay okay anyway so there's this skirmish oh gosh you know
about the skirmish my finger i believe is broken everybody's saying it's sprained i go to the
hospital finally because i can't bend it all the way i can't protect my girl from the new york
that's about to happen which is quite dangerous i can't make a full fist with this hand okay
this shit comes out a little bit.
Like I'm about to Frank Underwood a table.
This is how girls make a fist.
You know, girls.
But that's how my thumb goes down, bro. Why do they always make a fist like that?
I think they think if it's pointier, it's going to hurt more.
Like, girls want to fight like this.
Nothing hurts your feelings like Al when he hits that laugh.
Yeah, that shit
Disrespected me bro
That shit really
Disrespected me bro
Hey bro
Hey
Oh man
Anyway
Calm down now
So
I'm at the doctor
Al
And you were holding
Out information on us
You know you ain't gonna shoot
Just like you ain't shooting
In your shorty son
Oh
Shit
Oh shit
The disrespect
I mean I should be like you
I'll be like did I come
you know how the girl usually asks did you come yet
I'll be like did I
pulls out gogurt
oh my god
I brought that up myself.
I did, I did.
Wait, were you talking about now or before?
See, you.
So, so.
All right.
I'm at this hospital, right?
I'm getting my finger checked out.
Clearly broke a bone.
That's the type of force I punch with.
I broke up, snapped the bone right off my bone it's called an abrasion is that how he said it right oh hey hey oh gosh right that
shit is is that how he said it bro it's called an abrasion that's what you got i chipped the
bone right off my bone bro oh word yeah oh shit it's called an abrasion i know that's what that
was an abrasion
yeah you better embrace yourself for this information i'm about to give you right now
you lost a legit piece of bone piece of bone came right off my bone i don't know where that
shit is was in there abrasion is just a scrape that's what i thought an abrasion was like
apparition operation sorry i don't know it was it was it was severe it was operation and harry
potter when you go from one place to the other?
Shut the fuck up in this.
He was Indian.
You didn't know he was Indian.
Yeah, he could have said anything really at that point, right?
So my man told me how much I fucked my shit up.
I had to go get the x-rays and all that.
Then he starts telling me his political views.
I got a feeling he's listened to the podcast maybe before,
maybe not.
Maybe he's seen some of the weekly pieces. I'm not certain, but he felt very
comfortable talking to me about the world as he
sees it.
Guy said that
what's happening right now with coronavirus
is a coup. This is a doctor.
A coup.
He's a cuckoo.
You think?
Shut up.
I gotta shoot you for that.
Al, I really got, Al, go to the Y.
Disrespect another Indian in your life, Al.
Disrespect another Indian.
You're taking our eyes out here, son.
First shot fired.
Hold on, was he in the Y?
Yes, we did that in slow-mo.
I got him right in his fucking nose bro
all right first shot dangerous bro okay ready yeah that was just that was that how was that
i'm mad you did that to my friend al all right relax we're not doing retaliation shots okay
this is how this is how things get dangerous this is monogu capulet shit we gotta stop it right now
truce no truth hey truce bro it's a truce right you ever do that to your brother all right anyway so
hey that's why he's still angry at me to this day okay so the guy says this is a coup we should
open up months ago he thinks it's a coup to get Trump out of office. That's what he was saying.
He goes, he tells me this.
He goes, 94% of the people that got corona didn't die from corona.
They had comorbidities that other situations was causing them to die.
Only 6% died from corona.
Did you know that information?
You didn't want to tell it to us, Al?
No, I didn't know that information.
And you didn't or you did? I did. And you never thought't want to tell it to us, Al? No, I didn't know that information. And you didn't?
You did. I did. And you never thought that you could share it with us, did you? What are you talking about?
You're just going to go to your
weddings. You're just going to go to your weddings.
That's been common knowledge. While all of us were terrified.
Son,
you shit 12 times a day. So
if you get the Corona, you're going to have
like floods of shit flying out your ass.
So let's not take that chance. You get sick every other week sick every other week so you get corona might not be good for you either
for real dude i remember as it hit you, you weren't even ready.
Like, it hit you and you stood for a minute.
Like, did he just shoot the fuck out of me?
Anyway, point is, this guy's saying that fat people are really the cause of Corona being an epidemic or a pandemic.
Didn't we know that?
That was all pre-existing conditions.
But I didn't know it was 94%.
I didn't know that fat people were causing the fucking world to go down it's not just fat it's fat people bro
for the sake of this podcast it's fat people now pile on everybody do what fat people do to
themselves pile the fuck do what they do to their plate at a buffet pile on now but for real we were
talking about this yesterday. The one thing,
the one reason why
it's always been messed up
to make fun of fat people
is because it's self-inflicted, right?
The fatness only affects themselves, right?
Now, we could tease and be like,
oh, it fucks with our flights,
you know,
whatever,
next to us and touching us
on a subway,
this, that, the other,
all these other fucked up things.
Annoying to look at,
I don't know.
You can pick whatever you want.
You know what I'm saying? It's just whatever, okay? I don't know. You can pick whatever you want.
You know what I'm saying?
It's just whatever.
Okay?
You can't find a mask that fits your whole face.
It said,
touching on the trades.
Yeah,
when that thigh hits your thigh,
bro,
then that shit is mad hot
and cold.
You got your thigh out.
That's your problem.
But it's not touching
someone else's thigh.
You never had a fat person's thigh
touch your thigh
and the top is fucking hot.
The bottom is cold
because they don't have
that good blood circulation, hot pocket ass thigh. And the top is fucking hot. The bottom is cold because they don't have that good blood circulation.
Hot pocket ass thigh.
You never had that experience on a subway?
I get to have.
Well, I have many a times, Al.
Sorry, not all of us drive a Tesla.
You fucking piece of shit.
Bro, you're blowing all your bullets so fast.
You're right, bro.
Heard that, babe?
Heard that, babe?
Heard that, babe?
It could happen.
Point is. Yeah. heard that babe heard that babe it could happen point is yeah we've never been able to make fun of fat people because what they did only hurt themselves that was the idea right it was a victimless crime being fat the only victim was you
okay now that we know that they just caused global economic collapse and that they're putting
massive pressure not only their weight but actually like structural pressure on our hospitals and
medical system and taking ventilators away from people decide not to just eat oreos their whole
life and actually killing people for being fat i think we can make fun of fat people now
i didn't want to agree until you said that last line the ventilators right no now we can make fun
of fat people so i feel like if we can make fun of fat people i'm willing to agree with pretty
much anything i think it's all good you know you used to be fat i was a fat you were a fat
my jeans are supposed to be fat i might even call them sweatpants I'll shoot myself
go go go
so I just understand
that it's not something that you necessarily
have to do most of us cannot be fat
that's right how did you stop being fat
shame
a lot of shame you know what I mean a lot of family telling me
I was fat I had an uncle every time he would
see me eating I would stay at his house pretty much all summer
every time he'd just be like god enough of that you're gonna lose weight
he just says god it's just oh my you're gonna eat he was disgusted just yeah just come on
just grab your stomach indians don't give a fuck you get enough shame like i should do something
about this so maybe instead of this like love is love shit, all these fat models stomping down the runway,
maybe what we do
is we start going,
stop killing everybody
in the world from Corona.
One.
Ew.
Ew.
Two.
Ew.
And three,
stop being selfish
and taking up all the ventilators.
You need a ventilator
just to walk down the street.
You already own a ventilator.
It's called a CPAP.
You're at the end of that.
Real talk. Imagine that. You need a ventilator. It's called a CPAP. You're at the end of the line. Real talk.
Imagine that.
You need a ventilator just to sleep at night.
And then you're going to go take a ventilator from a skinny person that got corona.
It's more emotionally good for you, I guess, to be nice.
But it's physically better to shame them.
And now you've got time to work on the self-worth issues because you're going to live longer.
Because you're not fat.
Exactly.
We've got to do the right thing, Mark.
Which is?
You tell me.
Click, click. Click, click.
Click, click.
No, for real.
What do you think the right thing is?
What do you think the solution is?
If you get it wrong, I'm shooting you right in your fucking massive eyebrow bridge.
What a target.
That shit be casting a shadow on Al.
What a thing to make fun of.
I don't even know
what the fuck
an eyebrow ring is
son bro
that's this shit
all the way around
he got that Neander
yeah
you don't notice
that
Neander
that's how he knows so much
written out on
fucking Wikipedia
it's like
information is
pushing your shit forward
all this information
right here
I got Easter Island head
that's what I got
when I was born when I was born
when I was born
I looked like the fucking guy
coming out of the ground
this shit got
this shit got caught
right here
his mom is doing
mad
every Bill Steele documentary
she's just like
is that his shoulders
what the fuck
is going on
fuck it Shoulders? What the fuck is going on?
Fuck it.
That shit hurt, bro.
That shit was frozen.
Where that came from?
Frozen.
Yeah.
Yeah, you better watch out.
Oh, my God.
Why'd you do that, Mark?
Because you were making fun of my giant ass forehead.
Not even that giant.
We just got to make fun of something, Mark.
Oh, that's a rule that you didn't know about.
You can take bullets shot at you and repurpose.
Get the fuck out of here.
Can you get it? No, you can't, son.
No, you can't, motherfucker.
Put that shit down.
Put that shit down. Put that shit down. Put that shit down. Oh, my God. That was absolutely terrifying.
The way that y'all came up on me like that.
Yeah, the spin cycle was real.
Goodness gracious.
I felt like I was eating dinner outside in Washington, D.C.
Y'all don't know what that is
Black Lives Matter
Remember the girls
Just trying to have
Some Caesar salad
Was she doing this
Nah she wasn't doing that enough
And they were like
Say Black Lives Matter
And she was just like
I just didn't want to eat
Parmesan on my Caesar salad
You didn't see the picture
Nah
Oh man
Fuck dude
Fuck dude
What do you whack off to man
He's a psycho He's a psycho Fuck, dude. What do you whack off to, man?
He's a psycho.
He's a psycho.
No, but for real, is there anything else that we want to discuss when it comes to obesity?
I mean, sometimes it's not their fault.
Whose fault is it?
Systemic.
What?
Yep.
Systemic oppression. Well, some people might be like, oh.
Al goes, yeah.
I don't even know what he's talking about.
I don't even know what he's talking about.
He's like, that sounds right.
You hear the buzzwords?
Yeah.
We want change when we want it.
Now?
Yeah. Get ready for the buzzwords okay uh okay listen if it's not their fault what are you talking about you want you want
facts or feelings i want feelings mark god damn we'll get to the facts later all right well the
feeling single fact come out of your fucking noggin, bro. I swear to God.
No, no facts.
No, go.
It's a lot of pressure.
I know.
Go.
This is definitely
not a fact.
Sometimes a feeling
can be factual,
but that's not
its intended purpose.
Why are you putting
it in me?
Shut the fuck up,
Mark.
You better go
and answer the question.
Extend your arm,
Mark.
Extend your fucking
arm.
Extend your fucking
arm, Mark.
Damn. Mark, you want to turn it on the minorities real quick? Extend your arm, Al. Extend your fucking arm. Extend your fucking arm, Al.
Damn.
Mark, you want to turn it on the minorities?
What did I do?
Pointed at myself?
You think that's what black people should do?
You ever seen Brad Pitt in Fight Club?
Where he just starts beating the shit out of himself and nobody knows what to do?
You think if black people just started hitting themselves
when cops came around, they'd be a lot gentler?
You know what I mean?
They'd be like, oh, man, you're already doing our job for us.
Yo, just throw these cuffs on.
No need for extra brutality.
Yo, that's a good solution, bro.
That is an interesting thing.
What would you do?
You just punch yourself right in the face?
You just got to go hard, yo.
You know what I mean? Well, they they're not gonna tackle you if you already
tackled you. Exactly.
Strategy. That's one strategy.
Could work.
Yo, I'm not
trying to save black lives. Al,
what are you doing?
I've been out here, so. son yeah al took a little break from his black lives saving to go to the kith store
and get his drip on point maybe he looted it you never know
al you have been stepping it up. All your Kaleidoscope shirts.
You got Kiff fucking drawers, sweats.
I miss going to the women's shop, man.
I got to get me one of those.
I got to shop with my girl, bro.
Fucking Forever 21 and shit.
That's the only store y'all don't break into.
I got to go into that shit.
That looks like it's her size, too.
Nah, this is XL, bro.
Don't diss me.
I got bodies. Don't diss me I got bodies
Don't diss me son
Put your hands up right now
Put your hands up right now
I will push the elevator button
So nice
I will corona push the elevator button
You need me to close this door
Boop
Before you go into penthouse
Boop
Not penthouse
Not penthouse not penthouse not penthouse
nah you gotta get that fixed son
if you get into a fight
oh my god
that's what I'm saying
I'm trying to protect my girl
but I can't even do this
I've been trying
I got a punch like that
I got a hadouken
motherfuckers out here
you karate chop him
oh yeah I could do that
New York finna be that wild,
you think?
Nah.
Yes.
I think it's gonna be a little wild.
Nah, nah, nah.
I think it's gonna be a little wild.
Maybe, I don't know.
It's gonna be a little wild.
Yo, you know what I don't get
about rich people?
Yeah.
They're moving out of New York,
right?
Right.
Why not just pay
the dangerous people to go?
Right?
Like, it seems like
that's cheaper, right?
Like, instead of buying a whole new house selling
your house like moving all your furniture if somebody's gonna give me all your money like
i got a proposition yeah just go you i'll give you all my money if you leave you go
i'll give you the money you go and then i have a rental property you can stay there
this makes perfect sense because let's say it costs you a million dollars to move out of the
city how much is it gonna cost that guy not costs you a million dollars to move out of the city how much is it going to cost that guy
not that much
not even just a million
you got to move
moving sucks
sucks
that shit sucks
but you could probably get
a thousand homeless people
to move out
it's not the homeless people
that come at you
they're homeless
they're chilling
so wait who is it
it's the bad guys bro
it's the gangsters
how do you find the bad guys
you hear how uncomfortably Al
how does he answer this question
he says bad guys bad guys Al literally goes gangsters how do you hear uncomfortably how does he answer this that's what it is bro i think we got that you pay motherfuckers to move out the city
al you don't think that the guys that are out here robbing on the regular
wouldn't like a nice vacation from robbing?
Yeah, I think they would.
They deserve it.
Yeah, they work hard.
They work hard. All hours. Mostly night.
Yeah, they do night shifts.
Yeah, let's throw off their whole circadian rhythms
working those hours. You know what I mean?
They sleeping through sunlight. That's terrible for you.
Say circadian rhythms.
I swear to God. You know what I mean? They sleeping through sunlight. That's terrible for you. Say circadian with a bullet.
I swear to God.
You got one bullet left.
You got one bullet left.
You better be wise with your bullet.
You better use that laugh so wisely.
Sorry, sorry, sorry. You better be wise with your bullet.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
There's no shooting back
right after you get shot.
You just make rules as you go on.
You can't do that.
That is uncomfortable
for everybody involved.
And I shot your titties.
Yeah.
I shot your titties.
Yeah.
Last titties,
I'm going to shoot.
I'm going to leave them inside.
Oh, man.
No, but for real,
you need to get shot
for even bringing up
circadian rhythm.
Okay.
All right.
I'll accept that.
You know what I'm saying?
You can accept what's coming.
I'm not going to accept. How are you going to talk about circadian, bro?
Black Panther just died.
You're going to be talking about his most precious metal?
What?
What, son?
You can't be talking about
his most precious metal, bro.
He's taking that long nap, though.
Yo.
Son, come on, bro.
I can't cope how I cope, Al.
What the fuck, yo?
I ain't saying nothing.
Do your thing.
I'm just saying.
Laugh at the pain, like Kevin Hart said.
Don't do that shit.
Don't fucking make me look like an asshole.
Yeah, he did try to make you look like an asshole.
I'm going to make you look like an asshole.
Kyle Rittenhouse-ass motherfucker.
You know what I'm saying?
You're just Kyle Rittenhouse's whole shit. You be Rittenhousing. Stop Rittenhousing. I'm Rittenhousing. You are Rittenhousing. written house ass motherfucker you know what i'm saying you just call written house this whole
shit written housing stop in housing i'm right now you are a white guy with a big gun right now
great time and drew great time it's not in all seriousness though in all seriousness with the
chad mc chadwick bozeman yeah situation i will i had to step into studio two the other day seriousness with the Chadwick Boseman situation.
I had to step into Studio 2 the other day
and fucking
weep a little bit, bro. It was so sad.
While we were at work?
While we were here at work, you were in here
research napping or whatever you do.
Yeah.
Robbie was out there.
And then what did you do? I went to Studio 2
and I watched the last scene of Avengers.
You know the, not the last scene, but when they take out Thanos,
when all the guys go, it's a tearjerker.
The first person to come back to help Cap is Black Panther.
So he steps out of that little circle that the Chinese man made,
probably Wuhan fucking virus right there.
Stepped out.
Said something, we got your back, this, that, the other.
And I was like, oh, no, bro, this shit got me.
It's too sad, man.
It was sad.
And it's so fucking sad.
I've been thinking about why it's so profoundly sad.
Yeah, I can't figure.
It's like Kobe level sadness.
You know what I think it is?
I think it is that, one, it was unbelievably shocking.
Like we had no clue in the same way with Kobe,
right?
It seemed like someone who was invincible and all of a sudden gone.
But the age is so close in proximity to ours that we felt our mortality a
little bit.
At least for me,
I was like 43.
It started four years ago.
That means he already had it prior
to four years when they found out bro he's probably filmed fucking the black panther with
that shit 2016 that movie came out 2018 damn sure while he's doing press and everything he knows
we saw him at the all-star game in 2018 or 2019 whatever is that right yeah he got this huge
ovation because you know they're like showing the stars and black panther had just come out he got
the biggest ovation by far he just seemed like he didn't seem like phony or
whatever he just seemed like humbly smiling or whatever and it was just like oh he seemed like
a decent dude that's i'm not i'm just whatever but like bro something about it just we had no idea i
think that's the thing he hid it for so long i think he was just starting to enjoy like peak
fame where like he's a superstar in the making.
But he also actually really seems like to care about acting and about the art and the way that I don't think most of them do.
Right.
Something about it, man.
I think all of it added to get plus what he meant for black people like Black Panther meant so much.
How many times you see it?
Three times.
I just.
In LA, shit.
Yeah.
That's not even that many.
Real talk.
That's very wide of you to only see it three times. Yeah, man. It was just something I just. In LA, shit. Yeah. That's not even that many. Real talk. That's very wide of you to only see it three times.
Yeah, man.
It was just something, man.
I was like, colon cancer that I have in my family.
Oof.
And I'm 36.
He's 43 when he died.
He got diagnosed at 39.
He got diagnosed at 39.
That means he probably had it at 38.
That means I'm a year and a half away away from when he had it yeah i think that
shit hit me like oh my god bro like i think another thing happened in corona times where
it's like oh you just died from corona or police brutality those are the only deaths that happen
and then we saw this other death that would be normal ish pre-corona. Yeah. But now seems so out of the blue.
And it's just like, oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, dude, it's just out.
When you start learning about a lot of the things that he did,
like he would go to children's hospitals that were actually dying from cancer as well.
As he's dying from cancer.
All right, we're going to take a break for a second because I need everybody to get their balls right.
I need everybody to get their dick right.
I need everybody to get their pubic hair.
You can damn near see my pubic hair through these shorts.'re welcome okay you're welcome okay what are you talking about what pubic hair it's groomed oh
you're right you got no pubic hair i manscaped my whole shit listen lawnmower 3.0 i mean this
100 sincerely stop acting like girls don't give a fuck about your pubic hair your shit got to be
on point you should got to be right You want these girls to be bald
And you out there
And your shit is just straggly
All looking like J. Cole
You want dick looking like J. Cole?
Is that what you want?
Girls looking at you like
Who that?
Okay?
You're not getting none of this pussy
Looking like J. Cole with your dick
You need to shape that shit up
Get it nice and tapered
Have your dick looking like Bobby Shmurda
Do you know what I'm saying?
Your dick looking like Bobby Shmurda You can take that cond I'm saying? Your dick look like Bobby Shmurda.
You can take that condom, throw that shit right in the air.
That's what you can do.
I'm telling you, you need that Manscaped Lawn Mower 3.0.
It's not a fucking game out here.
I get it all in, shaved everything up, have it looking absolutely beautiful.
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Ball Deodorant, the Crop Reviver, the Ball Toning Spray, both super practical.
They smell absolutely amazing.
And for a limited time, when you order the Perfect Package Kit, you get two free gifts,
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I use it for Manscaped and the Anti-Chafing Buster Breeze.
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That's our promo code at manscaped.com.
It's Flagrant 20, manscaped.com.
Get your balls fucking right.
Let's get back to the show.
Get your asshole checked.
That's all I'm going to say.
Son, I need to.
But do you think there could be any cancer that stays in my asshole?
Yeah, probably.
You don't think it'd be flushed out?
Yeah, there's nothing in your asshole.
No, I think more likely because it's constant shit just oh wait you never give it a rest
give you a asshole arrest
plus you had that hemi yeah yeah i mean this you got problems yeah yeah i think we got to
document that you got to go get the uh i should go get my uh pap smear whatever it is what is it
called uh colonic nope no colonoscopy just an anal check-in a rectal exam i mean how
fucked is that finger up there too say again you got to get the finger up that's that sounds fun
yeah you gotta do that bro you know i scratch my ass pretty deep all right when i go in there i
scratch my ass pretty deep okay i like scratch through the underwear sometimes dude right scratch it nice
and deep like you'll rip your underwear no no no but like i push the underwear into my butthole a
little bit when i scratch if there's like super itch down there and i just scratch around it i
like to scratch my ass i'm into that so you just be having like a big dark shit spot on you. On my underwear? Yeah. Always dark shit spot.
So it's to the point where like I have black underwear
that I've seen a stain on.
That's wild.
That impressed me.
That's wild.
Like I reversed the color of the underwear.
Because even with a clean ass, if you go up,
you're going to come down with shit.
You're going to come down with some shit.
Yeah.
So I had that and I do that often.
I'll like forget that I even do it.
And I was cuddling my girl last night.
And I was spooning her from the back.
And I put my arm around her to hold her like that.
And then she goes, did you just finger your ass?
I go, what?
And she goes Your hands smell
Like you just punched shit
Oh my god
And she smelled it right through dude
You're the nastiest
That's nasty right
You and Mark
Don't know me and Mark
Nah
Nah you are too
No but he got better though
He's a shower
Yeah
You
I shower
I wore this exact same outfit yesterday
Down to the shoes with no socks
Take that Al Jaws Say again I shower. I wore this exact same outfit yesterday down to the shoes with no socks.
Take that, Al.
Draws?
Same underwear?
Switch my drawers.
That's fair enough.
That's a step up for Mark.
What did Mark do?
He'll repeat drawers.
No, I changed the whole outfit.
And no, I don't repeat drawers.
Yes, you do.
No, I don't. You said you do one time.
How do you repeat when you don't have underwear on?
And secondly, the fact- He doesn't wear underwear. You said you do. How do you repeat when you don't have underwear on? And secondly, he doesn't wear underwear.
You don't remember that?
Like every day?
I thought it was just when you run out.
He's uncircumcised.
He's got underwear.
What the fuck do you need underwear for?
We got to wear underwear so shit doesn't crawl up in our dick hole.
He got that fucking thing ziplocked.
Is it true?
He's sweating and shit?
No, is it true with foreskin that if you line it true with foreskin That like if you line it up right
You can just like
Ziploc
Is that
Is that
Is that true
Like you
Just do that
And then it's
Done
Your little package of almonds
Yeah you can do that sometimes
But look
He's a fully formed person
Okay
I'm just a kid
I'm just a kid sometimes
And sometimes I don't shower
As much as I need to
Yo you wanna know some wild shit Mark's been lying about his age oh i know that
you knew that yeah however this guy's 28 years old and he's been wow like he's 23 years old
mark wow mark mark seriously say be honest what be like, yo, I'm going to take five years off my age.
Thomas Dalen.
Thomas Dalen.
The little friend that did that.
Wait, you actually know someone that did that?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you.
He didn't want people to know he was 63, and he was hanging out with us.
The guy was fucking 63 years old.
He had one of those fucking HIPAA shits or whatever.
AARP.
AARP.
I didn't know you were going with that
Al speaks my language bro
Al knows what I mean
When I say the exact opposite of what I mean
It's weird
I'm 23 and I wear underwear
Mark is 28 years old
Canadian bro
Canadian 28
Canadian offends me more
I thought he only took like 2 years off
Nah he's 28 years old.
Walking around like he's 23.
Just walking around.
Just strolling.
Just strolling?
Just strolling around.
All 28 years of you, huh?
And what benefit would that give to me?
Well, I think we should have a little discussion about that because next
weekend he will be getting married
to a bride,
right, who is 23
years old, no? 22. 22 years
old. The only problem is he's
been dating her for
eight
long years.
Yeah.
That's why you gotta lie about your age.
Oh, well.
Looks like we got
a little oopsie daisy.
Wait.
Nah, you gotta quit this shit.
What's going on?
I'm about to clean it up.
What is there to clean up?
Produce an ID.
Produce an ID, motherfucker.
Nah, we gotta see ID. But can we even believe it ID. I won't show you the video. Produce an ID. What is an ID, motherfucker? Nah, we got to see ID, son.
We got to see ID, son.
But can we even believe it?
The kid wasn't even born in America.
Oh.
Oh, that's a good ass point.
You don't know if you can trust it.
That's a good ass point.
And he's mad nice with the Photoshop, too.
He's nice as fuck with Photoshop.
He could have fixed his whole fucking ID and also his passport.
Wow.
Why would anyone believe this?
And we always be wondering how he gets away with so much with this girl.
Oh, my. Because he groomed her he birthed her that's his daughter dude we're figuring it
out that's most florida shit you ever done in this fucking studio bro he is following the footsteps
of another great comedian woody allens oh my fucking god oh my fucking god and what what evidence do you have to support that
i'm not the age i say all the evidence all the evidence i need which is i got it right up here
right in my heart mark i know it in my heart al all right i know it in my heart, Al. All right. I know it in my gut.
I don't trust your gut, bro.
I trust his gut. You don't trust my gut?
No.
I trust his gut.
Thank you, Al.
He got a good gut.
I got a good gut.
He shits 10 times a day.
Exactly.
That's a good gut.
It's fucking clear.
You know what is clear?
Nothing but lies.
Lies.
He's clearing out the lies.
Oh, goodness.
Clearing out the lies. I think goodness. Clearing out the lies.
I think we're clearing up a lot of stuff here.
I think we are clearing up a lot of stuff here, Mark.
So your age is TBD.
Okay?
What?
Your age is TBD.
What?
All right.
It's TBD, bro.
Do you know what that stands for?
I don't know.
I'm trying to figure out something else besides to be determined
keep thinking Andrew
keep thinking
keep thinking
oh gosh
you got anything for me
nothing
too big something
damn
too big
too big dicks
no I can't give him that
why not
did you tell them
the story about
when you say
two big dicks
you mean like
two 14 year old
post puberty dicks
guys
come on guys
guys
my mom listens.
Stop.
Hi, Mrs. Gagnon.
Does she really listen?
No.
She listens to this garbage?
Oh my goodness.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
Fuck you.
What the fuck you call this shit?
Yo.
Don't shoot.
He set me up, son.
I think my shit is defective, too.
He put the bullets all the way in.
Wow.
I see.
I see.
I got you next up.
How many bullets you got in your gun, yo?
You got too many.
Nah, that's the perfect amount.
Take them motherfuckers out, yo.
Yeah, my mom wouldn't listen to lies, okay?
And that's what you're doing about me right now.
It's not a lie. That shit, watch it. You don't wouldn't listen to lies, okay? And that's what you're doing about me right now. It's not a lie.
That shit, watch it.
You don't want to listen to me talk about being 23, you fucking liar.
You're a 33-year-old man.
You're a 33-year-old man, son.
Look at his sneaker choice.
He dresses like the years he was born.
With your fucking 70s retro skateboard issues.
He knows all this other stuff about the past.
Oh, shit.
You do know mad shit about the past. You don't lie shit about the past. I claim to never have seen it. I just Wikipedia it. Oh, Wikipedia bullshit. He knows all this other stuff about the past. Oh, shit. You do know mad shit about the past.
You don't know a lot of shit about the past.
I claim to never have seen it.
I just Wikipedia it.
Oh, Wikipedia bullshit.
You lived it.
You might be the oldest person
on this podcast.
You might be.
Well, I determined that before
when I said I was old cum.
Son, his thick ass eyebrows,
all that is just some Botox
to hide the wrinkles.
Oh, my God, son.
Mark is actually old. Yeah, son. Yo, son. Mark is actually old.
Yes, son.
Yo,
you do have some
old ass eyebrows.
What does that mean?
Yeah,
that shit,
yeah.
Like,
if you were the thinker man,
the fist would be like
here.
He's talking.
He's looking like Colin Kaepernick. You can't even make a fist You couldn't even be a thinker man
You were trying so hard for the bit
Too bad your dumb hands got an abrasion
I think it was stronger than it was abrasion What Too bad your dumb hands got an abrasion. And I was broken.
I think it was stronger than it was abrasion.
What?
I think it was stronger than abrasion.
What is it?
I don't know.
A broken?
Is everything Joe Rogan to you?
You got to put Rogan in everything?
A broken?
Dude, a broken.
That's what he got to call his fans.
That's true.
Brogan's.
Brogan's is good.
Yeah, that's nice. Oh, shouts to Rog call his fans. That's true. Brogan's. Brogan's is good. Yeah, that's nice.
Oh, shouts to Rogan, man.
The first ep on Spotify is today.
Let's go.
Oh, really?
Yeah, and he showed pictures of the studio.
It's fucking sick.
It's different than the ones I showed y'all before.
I'm sure, dog.
It's red and got these crazy statues.
It's just fucking sick.
The studio, it just looks like it's in a trailer.
I don't know what it's in he
probably got mad land though the shape the shape of it yeah yeah yeah it would be imagine if that
shit was mobile oh fuck that's the movie i understand what you're saying yeah that is bad
for podcasts yeah just have a shit in the rv and take it everywhere that would be fucking amazing
he got the baldy yeah that'd be kind of fire i I don't know if he's leaving Texas, but that would be kind of fire.
He could.
He could.
I'm stoked for it.
I'm stoked for it.
Anyway, what else, guys?
What else going on, Al?
Rest in peace, Chadwick Boseman.
Yo, rest in peace, though, Chadwick Boseman.
Real talk, man.
That shit was absolutely fucking tragic.
Tragic, man.
It was really tragic, man.
Maybe I'm not tapping the main vein of why it was so tragic,
but maybe I just don't want to believe that anybody can get cancer.
I've had so much cancer in my family,
and for some reason it's normalized within my family.
But I guess in my mind I'm like, nah, when you're rich and famous,
you get to beat cancer. When you're rich and famous, you within my family. But I guess in my mind, I'm like, nah, when you're rich and famous, you get to beat cancer.
When you're rich and famous,
you could beat murder.
Why can't you beat cancer?
And this guy had every single resource
at his fingertips.
He probably had every expert.
Marvel, I'm sure, was willing to spend
any amount of money to keep him alive
so he could continue doing the movies.
And then cancer could still get him.
It was just like... I did like that it was handled... alive so he could continue doing the movies and then cancer could still get him is this like
i did like that it was handled like he's it seemed like a private guy it was all
like nobody knew i like i respected just like everything was so private robbie said something
uh great he was like especially for an actor who would milk the fuck out of this like
an actor breaks their pinky and there's a cast in every picture. Oh my God.
They're like just milking public sympathy
and none of us even knew.
And the dude was getting roasted online
for being skinny and looking.
Yeah, I know.
I feel so bad.
Tragic.
Now, do you have any respect for his circle
that they didn't leak any of the information?
Absolutely.
How do you think something like that even happens?
It's just his family that I know?
Tight circle, probably.
Tight circle.
And it actually makes me think
that when you get information leaked from everybody else,
that it's on purpose.
Like, there's all these celebs.
It got to be on purpose, bro.
It's so easy to keep a secret.
Yeah.
That's a big secret to keep, yo.
No, but I'm talking about, you know how when they say, oh, someone close to the celeb or
something like that, like TMZ always gets their news
from somebody close to it.
No, it's always just their marketing.
Their PR people.
Their marketing.
They just sent their thing out.
Because if, would any of y'all in this room release a secret about somebody else in this
room that, like something real?
Nah, we wouldn't.
Yeah, I would tell on all of y'all for sure.
I would hope that we wouldn't.
But I'm just saying, it's like.
It's got to be connected, bro.
It's got to be.
And that's why I don't like it when you hear these celebs bitching about paparazzi.
Because it's like, you called them.
Yeah.
Well, your manager called them.
Your PR called them.
He doesn't not live in LA.
You know what I mean?
Like, paparazzi ain't moving to Austin to follow Rogan.
Yeah.
Not much of a career in that.
Yeah, but I mean, there's celebrities that live anywhere and they'll still call them.
Like, remember when fucking Angelina and Brad lived in New Orleans and you would see pictures of them there like yeah they call that
shit yo their divorce is about to be lit oh their divorce is about to be yo lit yeah what what what
you heard about brad pitt's new girl oh he's sharing a bitch yeah she's married but it's an
open relationship and i don't know who said maybe it's alexis guerrero's like can you imagine being
that husband like you probably like i'm in an open relationship i'm about to fuck everybody i'm
winning and then she has a brad fucking pit yeah and it's just like oh my god dog worst case
scenario you know where she met him huh at her husband's motherfucking restaurant wow that's
violation respectful now there gotta be some rules with this violation bro disrespectful you're gonna
meet my wife i got a different take on this one say again i got a different take on this okay go that's violation that's disrespectful now there gotta be some rules with this that's violation bro disrespectful you're not gonna meet
my wife
in my restaurant
I got a different take
on this one
say again
I got a different take
on this one
okay go
I think old dude's bragging
yep
I'm with Al
I think
would this be the first time
if your wife was dating Brad Pitt
would it be the first time
you ever wanted a woman
to get pregnant
shut up
nah that's actually
A good ass
In the fucking
Forehead
Oh I wanted another one
A lot of shots fired out here
Son
Oh I see you got mad bullets
In your shit
Nah that was Mark
That was Mark son
You shot me already son
Right in my fucking hair
That shit hurted
But dude gets to brag
Like this is his fifth
You really think he's bragging to the homies
Like yo you know what my wife's doing right now
Throating brag
Nah my wife's so hot that Brad Pitt wants her
Not wants her
Is digging her out and coming inside of her holes
So what they have an open marriage
Say what
It's not open in that way
Yes it is
Why girls try to keep it open?
Son, he's-
When we say open, it means I'm open for business and you have very minimal hours.
How do they not understand this?
Yeah.
This is a one-way street, the open relationship.
I'm Walmart.
You, office hours.
You, mom and pop shop.
Mom and pop.
Yo.
Stop it with this fuck Brad Pitt.
Nah.
It's disrespectful, honestly. It's disrespectful, Bob. Yo. Stop it with this fuck Brad Pitt. It's disrespectful, honestly.
Disrespectful ass.
You were trying to say before that Brad Pitt was getting the short end of the stick.
Oh, yeah.
Now Brad Pitt got a share pussy with this guy who's 68 years old from Germany.
Way worse on Brad than it is on the other dude.
It's pathetic on all parties involved except this girl who looks mad regular in the Instagrams that I already masturbated to.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't think Brad Pitt's sharing her.
That's a good pick.
I got the best pick.
Brad Pitt's not sharing her.
Brad looking official now. I got the best pick. I got the best pick. That's a great pick. Brad is not sharing her. Brad looking official now.
Oh, I thought we were talking about Brad.
I thought we were talking about Brad.
Who's that other bitch?
I ain't fucking with her.
Go, go, Marcus.
I don't think he's sharing her.
He's leasing her.
Oh.
Keep it going.
So you were saying.
Experien. Come on. in there keep it going so you were saying before experience
come on
come on
I'm trying
fucking Mulan
is coming out
this weekend
I'm practicing
it's a live action event
wait it is
yes dude
you were saying
before
Mulan can't
save the fucking
Muslims out there
what about
Muslam
what about that China how you feel about that
huh g ping fuck mother fuck you were saying before that that they were sharing i don't think they're
sharing i think she's with brad pitt until he's like all right we're done and then she's gonna
go back to homie that's a fact if you're brad pitt you don't give a fuck he what he's saying is brad took her yeah and he's keeping
her until he's done yeah i think that she goes back home to the 68 year old german even better
i get to fuck you and then you go get he gets all the married shit that's great no no no explain
what you're saying again you're saying brad and her are now in a relationship and the german dude
gets nothing yeah until brad is finished no i don't think that's it. I think he goes back home
every night.
I agree with Akash.
What do you think?
The German dude's winning, son.
I mean, clearly he's winning.
Also, keep in mind
the German guy is like 70.
That's what I'm saying.
68.
On his fifth marriage.
On his fifth marriage.
Yeah.
And it's open.
He's not trying to fuck.
He's pounding out whenever he can get it up. So it's like. He's not trying to fuck. He's pounding out
whenever he can get it up.
So it's like he got to
lease it off.
You don't ship to Germany, Al.
Hey, you're right.
He's still got to just like,
hey, I need to rest up,
go get piped out
for a little bit,
and then come back
when I'm ready.
But how much can Brad pipe?
He's 53 years old.
More than a 70-year-old.
I bet Brad can pipe.
Yo, you think Brad
got good dick game?
Be honest, yo.
All right.
Hold on, let me open my legs for this combo. I bet Brad could pipe. Yo, you think Brad got good dick game? Be honest, yo. All right. Hold on.
Let me open my legs for this combo.
I bet that shit is fantastic, yo.
Now, real talk, you think Brad delivers good dick?
He digging them guts.
Can I make an argument why not?
I think no.
Fine-ass girls.
Beautiful-ass girls.
Burn.
What?
Burn.
What?
Pussy trash sometimes, bro.
Scoreboard.
Scoreboard. Starfish. Starfish. what pussy trash sometimes scoreboard starfish
I see why you guys didn't want to say that out loud
you know what I'm saying
I disagree
I disagree
that's just the best yo
you know what I'm talking about
I'm talking about these like Instagram
body McDonnells all they care about is the way they look etc no personality nothing no no you don't talk about like i'm talking about these like instagram thotty mcdots all that yeah
yeah all they care about is the way they look etc no personality nothing right yeah yeah they
don't you feel like in my experience they've been all right in bed yeah instagram thoughts got the
worst dick the worst pussy what i don't know but brad pitt is basically that no but he got some
talent to him oceans 11 fantastic movie no he No, but he got some talent to him.
Ocean's Eleven, fantastic movie.
No, he's talented.
Fight Club 7. But he has no need to please anybody.
He got no need to please.
He don't, he, you know what I mean?
He's not trying to get on that back.
Give him, give her that back.
Yeah.
You know?
You know what I'm saying?
That's true.
That's true.
I feel like fucking Brad is the treat in and of itself.
Yo, exactly.
He feels the same
way yeah so he might not be delivering the dick the way a 68 year old german man might
that 68 year old german man is probably delivering that dick like that oh whoa dick like that do you
think they even allow their dicks to get hard or do they keep it pointing down when it's hard in
germany are they just too scared just go got that abdic. Just go straight up. Just go straight.
The second that shit starts to go, ah, nine, nine, nine.
Not again.
Never forget.
Never again.
Never again.
Whatever.
Guys, we're going to take a break for a second.
Let me tell you something.
You know that basketball's back.
Obviously, basketball's back.
We out here.
Playoff time.
Playoff Paul P.
Not anywhere to be found.
More like pandemic paul p
is it paul p no paul george whatever don't fucking matter play better i'll let you know
one of them playing right now that's a fact that's a fact let me tell you something paul
george is playing like paul pierce announces that's how horrible he's playing this is what
i need y'all to do okay if you want to gamble which i know you're already doing you just go to my just go to MyBookie. It's simple as that. MyBookie, MyBookie, MyBookie,
MyBookie, MyBookie, MyBookie. You can gamble on absolutely any sport that is available right now,
okay? Tons of sports, tons of different options for you to gamble on. You can do everything that
you need to do. Now, when you go to MyBookie, remember, it's MyBookie.ag. It's MyBookie.ag.
So when you go to the website, mybookie.ag, you bet.
You join, mybookie is going to double your first deposit.
That means you put up some money, they're going to put up that same amount of money for free.
You don't have to pay for it.
You get to gamble with free money.
How could you not want to do that?
All you got to do is make sure you use the promo code flagrant, and then what you're going to get?
You're going to get a $10 NBA future bet.
Look at all this shit that you're getting for free with the promo code flagrant at mybookie.ag.
Just go do it. Go gamble. Get that money. Win it. win it we're not even gonna ask for any i should ask for 10 i should ask for 20 since i'm giving you all that shit but you get to keep it go make
your money and let's get back to the show and we're back look here's the thing here's the thing
a lot of people have been messaging us um electric cars no i got a lot not electric flying cars i mean yeah yeah i put it on the list
just to don't don't take a sip like you did something here what are you thinking you did
i'm thinking you what did you say exactly 10 to. No, you said three years we're going to have flying cars.
And he said Uber.
Yeah, you said Uber.
So it's another company.
If it's Lyft, which would be a way better one,
what do you think about it?
Scoreboard.
For flying.
Scoreboard.
Scoreboard.
You fucking nerd.
I know the future of technology.
Andrew's scared, guys.
Andrew's scared.
I think Andrew
will break down.
When I got
sent that picture,
I was like,
oh, this is not
looking too good.
Ow!
Ow!
Get to the bottom
of this.
Is this real?
Call a V-Log.
Oh, damn.
That looks more
like a car
than a helicopter.
And I'm early, yo. I'm i'm early yeah but silver's up you know what i mean not i mean for show not i mean for she's no you said i got that
shit i started grinning like fucking chris rock you're still wrong this is not gonna be 10 to 50
years so you bugging but you said we're gonna be able to get into a uber like we're gonna call it up get into it fly somewhere yeah and you still stand by that i still stand by that stupid i still
because i think it might be sooner and that would make you you would be wrong in that regard
and that is a rule You shot it into my gun, bro. You shot it into my gun.
And that is a rule.
If you shoot it.
That's a violation.
We all unload on this motherfucker.
Stand up and walk over so it's on video.
I agree with that.
You can't violate the rules, yo.
I am not violating any rules.
You can't violate the rules.
It's going to be execution style.
You got to get on your knees.
Listen, in all seriousness, you shot one at me yeah and it about to be too
you shot one of me and it went into the hole where it shoots out yeah that is a very rare
that's a very penalizable that's a rare occurrence it would happen yeah but it did and we have to
accept that as a reality and that is a rule if it gets shot back into your gun it is then a usable bullet once again now we're making new rules can i also propose a rule yeah
that out up yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i like this i like this
i'm not allowed to be whispering more secret jokes in the microphones okay oh what'd he say
yeah what you're talking about every now and again some shit will happen he'll whisper a secret joke into the microphone that
no one hears but that the viewers at home will hear yeah they like that shit and he and he was
saying things about me and and being gay which is not true i support that actually gay jokes are
always fine i think that's not so it's i that's another rule we can
propose yeah is it harder for you to fit those dicks in your mouth with that big old fucking
cranium hitting their bellies oh you're disgusting but i should have done oh dude oh man oh bro god
i just fucking laughed when i was getting i got my covid test
and my antibodies test because i was there getting my finger fucked up yeah and uh i laughed because
fa i don't know if we spoke about on the podcast but fa said the funniest fucking thing oh you did
yeah i'm gonna tell you killed me all right that means it's about the juice
um so fa said uh this is you getting your covid test to me and he sent me a gif of somebody
running to do the pole vault
and as i'm getting my nose penetrated that shit shit hurts. And they go deep. Yeah, that shit hurts.
And my shit got depth.
You know?
And that's all I could think of.
I was just laughing.
How's your antibodies?
Negative or positive?
I don't know yet.
They gotta send it to me.
Just got it today.
Oh, okay.
I'm gonna get my small motor.
What are you doing with that?
Why are you doing that?
Because I was at a wedding with a bunch of hooligans.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, were you, Al?
We weren't really matched. Oh, were you, Al? We weren't really masked.
Oh, were you, Al?
Yeah, I saw the video.
Yeah.
I saw the video.
I saw the ceilings very low.
I saw people packed in, in bunches, sharing playing cards.
This was an elegant establishment.
Sharing oxygen.
I saw that.
You were maskless?
Maskless.
You went raw dog into the wedding like that?
Raw dog into the wedding like that Raw dog into the wedding
Like that
Yeah
Yeah Al
We noticed
And we're on top of it
Yeah we're gonna take
Certain measures
I'm getting tested tomorrow
Yeah don't abort this one
Oh my
Yo
I've been taking shots
Yo
I appreciate
Everybody shot at me
Yo
That's it
You're out
That was three
You had five in the gun
That was my second
You shot two at me
That's it
I haven't shot anybody yet
You shot one at me
Yo he right there
Point blank range
How many you gonna get one too
Nah yo yo
You shot your three already
Shut up
You did
Oh yeah
Your bullet just went back
In your gun
Fuck out of here
It wasn't my bullet
It was Akash's bullet
That's a good point.
Your bullet went into my gun,
fucking idiot.
Don't shoot me like that anymore, stupid idiot.
Jerk head, dick head.
Dick lips.
Lips got dicks all over them.
And they probably do.
Yeah, they do.
Just kissing up all on them dicks
and probably tucking your lip right under the ridge of the head.
That's a little too graphic. That's a little too much. dicks and probably going intimate tucking your lip right under the ridge of the head do i mark it or no no do not mark that i don't know oh boy guys oh boy okay al what else do we have going on the down in this news a cycle oh can i tell you one thing was a baddie the other day
can i tell you the most impressive part of this?
What's that?
So right now we're looking at Adele, and she's donning Jamaican bikini top.
She's lost a lot of weight.
Looking good.
Yeah, she looks, I mean, I think Adele is more attractive fat.
And I know I went on a little tirade about how they're ending the world,
but I think she's more attractive fat. Every day know I went on a little tirade about how they're ending the world, but I think she's
more attractive fat.
Every day,
Andrew gets more and more black.
It's what I do.
I'm wearing green.
Chubby white girls.
I'm complimenting
chubby white women.
Shooting guns at everyone.
Shooting guns at everybody.
Whoa, Mark,
that was racial.
That was racial.
Yeah, racial.
Racial, not racist thank you okay now
here's the thing about this i am so impressed mind-bogglingly impressed so she got eyebrows
like marks she has a strong brow she has a strong brow i am so mind-bogglingly impressed with the density of her bosoms.
I was just thinking that.
She's still got them.
Usually when a fat loses weight, their bosoms shrink and flatten.
They usually pancake.
They pancake like the things at the end of the 18-wheeler that stop the mudflaps, if you will.
They mudflap.
that stopped the mudflaps, if you will.
They mudflap.
This girl's bosoms seem to be as dense, if not more dense, than when she was fat,
which leads me to believe
maybe all this weight loss was not natural.
That she was actually in a fat suit the whole time.
What?
What? actually in a fat suit the whole time what i thought all right what mark i will shoot you
with a recycled bullet no that maybe it was liposuction oh and that's why she chose not to
lipo the titty area no kept her fat cells in the titty area you can't get lipo from your entire
body like that.
Why not?
Like, you can get it from certain areas.
What's the freezing one where you freeze fat?
What's that shit called?
Cool sculpt.
Yeah.
Cool sculpt.
She could have cool sculpted.
Your entire body.
She probably had some natural weight loss a little bit, and then, yeah.
Why not?
Or she got fat inserted back into her bosoms.
Ooh, that's a great move, honestly, if you lose a lot of weight.
I think that's what a lot of girls are doing.
Or she can have-
Fluff up them pancakes, girl.
Fluff up them fucking pancakes.
Throw a little butter in them.
Damn right.
Or she can have breast implants, but if she put it under the muscle, it looks more natural
and they tend to hang more, so they look real.
Look, Al, you're the expert on white women.
So I'm going to go with what you say, and that's possibly this.
But I don't understand
why this is a big controversy she's wearing a jamaican uh flag bikini top who gives a fuck
what's the big deal is the image like it's really not a controversy for people in london and people
who go to notting hill carnival it's like a west indian carnival and they usually all dress up like this and they
encourage people of all races you don't have to be west indian to attend this yeah but just the
imagery that americans are used to like oh we see a white girl doing anything black black appropriation
we got to come down we were saying cultural appropriation yeah so she's got the brace got
the jamaican thing she lost a bunch of weight like a starving kid like she did
she did
wow Mark
wow Mark
I'm sorry
wow Mark
son
whoa
whoa
that was amazing
he did
he saved your life son
yo
100% headshot
that was crazy
Al you okay bro
son
I'm recovering
Jesus Christ
yo
thank you
don't use your
fucking extra
okay
okay
Andrew uses that
fourth
I got four more
loaded
ready
you're all out
I got one left
no you shot
three shots
yeah you're cheating too
have I shot at you
you're cheating too
you're cheating I mean you're cheating too. Have I shot at you? You're cheating too.
I mean, you're cheating by yourself.
I got one left.
All right, all right, fine.
Just to wrap up this Adele thing,
I think it's important because a lot of people are hating on Adele right now.
She's getting a lot of hate.
But here's a question that
I don't think a lot of people ask,
but I think it's something in the conversation
that we should absolutely have. Who's
blacker, Adele or Beyonce?
I knew it.
I knew it.
I knew you was coming with some bullshit right now.
I knew it.
That was nice for them.
You didn't see that shit happen. I saw
the whole thing. It was beautiful. Al lifted
his gun at the screen. I was like, what is going
on? And then he just, boop. I just knew you's coming with some bullshit right now who's blacker beyonce or
adele oh my god who's blacker blasphemy who's blacker continue i'm listening beyonce yeah right
okay all right now i'm back in who do you think's blacker i'm waiting people are saying adele
i'm waiting for you to explain so I can hop on board.
All right.
Motherfucking choo-choo.
Choo-choo.
Names.
Adele, definitely blacker than Beyonce.
What?
Beyonce.
That's a French.
That's very common in France.
Got the accent on it and everything.
That's a common French name.
You meet a million Beyonce's. You go to the south of france you go to san trapez really really you
met a million of them you do man you go to san trapez though you see a beyonce every other block
every other different you get a little cafe au lait from a beyonce little cigar with the shit
the black oh my god boom exactly adele yeah historically black name adele givens
yep wow i'll look some others up okay adele jenkins adele harris adele harris adele johnson
uh adele phillips i think that's all adele jackson adele jackson
yeah i can't just put a black last name behind it what's a black last name
that is crazy right there what you just said what you just said is very racial and it even
could borderline on racists what we're trying to do is have a discussion whether beyonce is
blacker than adele i happen to leave these up to the people. I can only present the people with the information that's out there.
Adele's name, clearly blacker.
Okay.
Oh, Adele.
How many more people are named, black people are named Adele than are named Beyonce?
I'll take that one for $100.
Alex.
Alex.
You know what I'm saying?
That was good.
Yeah.
Think about it.
There's way more black Adeles than there are black Beyonce's.
So she wins the name category. Nah name is original her name is original like it was a play off her mom's maiden name
so it's like they created what was her mom's maiden name it was like
uh beyonce that don't sound black
and it's that don't sound black it's creole french
creole is.
White French is.
White.
Creole is white.
I think so.
It's white for black people.
It's white for black people.
The white is black people.
So way more black Adele's.
They're way more black Adele's than there are black Beyonce's.
We just know that because Beyonce is just made up.
So that...
She still loses.
She still loses.
Now...
But making up a name.
Making up a name. Very black. She still loses. Now. But making up a name. Making up a name.
Very black.
Very white.
Very black.
They call their little kids
a Saebo.
You ever have these
Hollywood celebrities
make up names
for their little kids?
Yeah, but no originality.
They call them something
that already exists.
So Beyonce didn't exist?
We have Shaniqua,
Shaniqua, Taniqua,
all of them.
What do you call your side bits
that you say you're gonna marry
but you never do? Beyonce. Yo, Taniqua, all of them. What do you call your side bitch that you say you're going to marry but you never do?
Beyonce.
Yo.
There's Beyonce.
Don't do that.
And then there's your Beyonce.
Don't do that.
I'm just saying.
Yeah, we don't have that.
Okay, Adele definitely wins blackness.
Blacker when it comes to name.
That we know for a fact.
Nah.
Singing.
Who sings blacker?
Who sings blacker?
Fuck. That's a good question who has a stronger beautiful black woman voice gotta be we don't know yet why because odell has the fat black woman
strong and then white people made her lose weight yeah but we don't know if she can sing anymore
she hasn't dropped the song since that's true that's the whitest thing she did was lose weight.
The white,
listen,
there's no doubt
that now she's becoming whiter
and that's why she's trying
to grab onto the blackness.
She's putting on Jamaican
flags on her titties,
you know what I mean?
Got her hair all up in twists.
Look like fucking Kodak white.
She look like Kodak white.
She does.
She look like Marlon Wayans
from Friday,
what is it?
Don't Be a Menace.
Don't Be a Menace,
yeah,
fake Friday.
So,
point is, point is is in terms of hair
who's got blacker hair oh fuck oh dude i'll give you another point adele is dating skepta
that's the word on the street. Oh, shit. Black rapper.
They're both team black rappers.
That is true.
All right.
But complexion-wise, Skepta's darker.
Wow.
Wow.
So now- Complexion-wise, he is darker.
Now we're shade shaming out here.
Who says shade?
We're giving this beautiful.
Yeah.
Darker is beautiful.
Yeah, we're saying scoreboard.
Scoreboard.
Scoreboard.
Scoreboard.
Scoreboard.
You put shame on it. So we're saying Jay-Z's not as black?
Not as skeptic as black.
Nah, they're black.
Jay-Z rides a jet ski with the helmet backwards.
Jay-Z.
What did he say?
Jay-Z rides a jet ski with his helmet backwards.
A little nerd ass Jay-Z, bro.
Skepta never did that shit.
Yo, Skepta would never do that, bro., Scepta would never do that, bro.
Yeah.
Scepta would never do that, bro.
This is, hey, this is a good point.
Adele, Adele, dating.
Mm-hmm.
Scepta.
Mm-hmm.
Scepta trumps Jay Z.
Nope.
In terms of blackness.
Never.
Yes.
Nah.
Yes.
In terms of their voice, bare minimum.
Jay Z sounds like a third grader.
Jay Z sounds like he should be in a John Mulaney show.
Scepta sounds like- Oh, God. Stop disrespectingZ sounds like a third grader. Jay-Z sounds like he should be in a John Mulaney show. Skip the sound.
Oh, God.
Stop disrespecting Jay-Z like that.
Listen.
Skip the sound like he should be in a special ed fest,
so I don't think it's that much of a difference.
That is true.
I don't know about that.
But Jay-Z, doesn't he seem like he wants to be in the fourth grade?
Like, he's just like, for China.
What's your favorite thing in the world?
For China.
I've never heard Jay-Z sound sound like okay ready okay so so far
adele's got a little lead adele is listen this is how you game the youtube algorithm just let us
okay ready listen adele so far okay give us more things. Did you fucking ask me?
Okay, give us more things.
You got a point to prove.
Dancing.
Okay, there you go.
Beyonce has that.
Beyonce?
Clear as day she got that.
If you had to eat one of their macaroni and cheeses.
Beyonce hands down.
Or potato salad.
Nah.
Nah, B.
I'm talking about fat Adele.
You don't think she lost it?
You think she lost her skill when she got skinny?
Oh, Adele.
I'm talking about fat Adele.
You don't think she lost it? You think she lost her skill when she got skinny?
Fat Adele cooking soul food over skinny Beyonce cooking soul food.
Who do you think makes the better macaroni and cheese?
Beyonce has been getting a little thick lately, so I'm going Beyonce.
Oh.
Lately.
Lately.
That means her cooking hasn't been getting better.
She hasn't cooked her own meal in years.
Look at Adele.
She's starving herself. She hasn't cooked her own meal in years she's starving herself
that means she probably
went vegan or some shit like that
she got private chefs
doing all that
Adele was eating mayonnaise
sandwiches for 10 years
before she blew down
no she wasn't
she was frying catfish
she didn't blow up
she was frying catfish
one of them is frying catfish
fat Adele or Beyonce
where you going
Beyonce
Beyonce's gonna use
fucking
you know how good
English people can fry fish.
Nah, I'm still going to be losing.
Olive oil.
We're frying in olive oil.
Every song Adele is crying about losing a guy.
That means she can't cook.
Jay-Z is wearing sandals
and eating avocado ice cream.
He ain't eating none of that crazy soul food.
No, she's crying about getting cheated on
because she dates mad black dudes.
Nah.
That, I cannot confirm or deny.
Okay.
You pussy. He's a shooter for that. I can't confirm or deny. Okay. You pussy.
He's a shooter for that.
I can't confirm or deny it.
Don't fucking sit there.
Yo, come on, son.
I'm trying to be on your side.
Hey, everybody need to chill the fuck out.
It's mutually assured destruction.
You better not fire that fucking shot, yo.
All right, everybody chill.
We just got to finish the episode like office.
Everybody chill out right now. You put it there like Everybody chill out You put it there
Everybody chill out
Back to what we're doing
What other categories
Go
What other categories
Are there? Who's blacker?
Adele or Beyonce? Just keep it 100
Keep it 100
Beyonce wears
Way more colors
and animal print
that's black
Italian
no
that's Italian
no
that's Italian
that's very white
that's very white
who has a whiter
credit score
probably Beyonce
shit probably
810
899
that's a fucking
fantastic point
whose bank account
is whiter
Oh yo
Beyonce pay me in equity
Pay me in equity
Oh my god
She's a smart black woman
There's no question
That she's pretty black
But compared to Adele bro
I don't know if you want to compare those two
Adele's from, I don't know if you want to compare those two, bro.
Adele's from London.
Okay, keep going.
Minority white British.
Oh.
What?
That's a great point.
In London, white British are a minority.
Wow, she is a minority.
She is a minority.
She is a minority in her home country.
What's blacker than that? Wow country what's blacker than that wow what's blacker than
that oh my god bars you stupid fucking idiot
so do you admit adele is blacker than beyonce so i can relate to her struggle
it's a hard one you're getting turned on as we speak. I know. We're turned off.
Anyway,
free Adele,
man.
Let her live her life,
man.
She's trying to scoop up.
She's going to scoop up some dangling.
All right.
She's trying to scoop up some dangling,
bro.
That's it.
Let her put the Jamaican shits on her titties.
All right. So we've concluded,
obviously,
Adele,
you guys believe is blacker than Beyonce.
I do.
You know, and it is what it is Al I appreciate you for being objective and open-minded about these things I
know that you have constraints on your opinions obviously because you represent black identity
but uh sometimes you got to call a spade a spade this whole thing was just for that i really think the whole thing was just for that
okay so listen the lord works in mysterious ways okay you know i said i went to i was at my uh
my crib and it was like girls night my girl had like all her like friends
yeah over and shit right and um were they dancing to
wap no they were dancing wap definitely that's what you think girls just did yeah
that's hilarious kicking their leg all high yeah so we're there right and um all the girls are
there and uh they're in graduate school and shit like that so i'm like let me just like i like to
you know fuck with him a little bit rile things up he's a pot stirrer i'm a pot stirrer
you love drama like a witch just sitting there cackling
so um i uh they were talking about one of these girls that was like a chess master or something
like that she was like the number two woman in chess and i go uh she's number two what she's like yeah number two woman in chess and i go
that's weird yeah that is i go why why do women have to play against women and men have to play
against men like aren't you insulted that they would think that yeah you need to play against
women because it's not physical it's just mental that's their way of saying you're too stupid to
play against the men right that went well it went and then one now they thought
about for a second they're like that is kind of true that is kind of fucked up and then they go
are spelling bees co-ed no oh yeah they are co-ed i go yes they are co-ed and sometimes girls do
well yep right i go i go if you really want to make the co i go you really want to make the spelling be fair, you get rid of the Indians.
That's true.
That's true.
I go, Indians have this like, it's like a culture.
I don't know if this is true, but I assume there's a cultural pride in spelling in the same way like cricket is or some shit like that.
Or I don't know, like math or whatever it is.
Right.
I didn't know this.
They're like, bullshit.
That's not true. I go, I'm, right? I didn't know this. They're like, bullshit, that's not true.
I go, I'm going to call my boy Akash right now.
Pick any word in the whole fucking dictionary,
he's going to spell it to you over the phone, FaceTime.
Yeah.
I call Akash on a monopia.
Akash spells the word.
The girls say it's wrong.
Akash is crestfallen.
I'm devastated.
Devastated.
He's like, Akash, I'll give you one more chance.
They give him some other word.
What was it?
Some hard-ass shit.
I got two out of the three.
He goes, bodies it.
One more.
Bodies it.
I was like, I told you all.
He's nice.
All of a sudden, 10 minutes later, my phone lights up.
Akash, 50 text messages.
A FaceTime.
I look at it.
It goes, son, I spelled on a monopia right.
I was heated
to this day.
I feel fucking besmirched.
I've been besmirched.
I got you.
Somehow,
these girls
were so bad at spelling.
This is why they gotta
play chess by themselves.
These girls were so bad
at spelling,
they couldn't even
read the letters right.
So,
son,
I was like,
O-N-O-M-A,
that's gotta be it. I'm fired. They're wrong. They cut me off at the so son i was like oh n-o-m-a that's gotta be it i'm
fine they're wrong they cut me off at the a i was like no way turns out i got it right i did not know
that this was a cultural thing that you guys keep tabs on i don't even know if it is dead ass oh
i just be i just be knowing how to spell it might be genetic because i asked my girl i told my girl
what happened i said i didn't remember the words onomatopoeia and remember the first one and then i said acquiesce and then she got acquiesce she
got right she just got that even though she's punjabi she got it right even though she's punjabi
so we all know if punjabis is getting it we all know yo punjabis got that dogs yo we remember
you were telling me they're the dumbest indian stir in the pot stir stir stir
first of all
he's never said that to me
I just want to clarify
but the fact that he was thinking about it
means he definitely feels that way
I can see myself saying some shit like that
I just completely made it up
and he was like
man did I see that
the fuck is he bringing that up right now?
Well, I was just thinking,
I was like,
I've never seen a Punjabi
in the spelling bee.
Interesting.
I've never seen like a fucking
Balbinder or whatever.
I've never seen one of them in there.
Bro, I heard some shit.
I actually got it
because I commented on
Khabib Nurmagomedov's
Instagram.
Right.
He had a picture of him
and all of his brothers.
I don't know if they're his brothers.
They all look fucking the same.
They all got that beard. No mustache. Yep champ what y'all got against mustaches not even insulting truly curious muslim thing yes but i see plenty of
muslims that have the mustache it's specific and almost uh like i guess muslims from that region
had that kind of like beard here, but no mustache.
Right.
Then I have a couple guys message me back on Instagram post.
It said that that's how the Prophet Muhammad wore his beard.
He shaved his stache.
This was shaved, but this let grow, and it was like a sign of cleanliness.
So my curiosity is, why are all these Muslims out there not shaving
the stash?
Do we have a little beef going on?
Who's got it right?
If you got beef, it ain't halal.
That's a fact! Not halal.
We need to get to the bottom of this.
Muzzies, please
message us
and tell us what the truth is.
Yeah.
I want every Muslim there to message me so I can delete that shit and take pride every time.
Every time I do it.
Yeah.
Y'all really upset about that shit, huh?
What? Yeah, they built you the Taj Mahal.
That's something I just learned that it blows my mind that there would be any animosity between Indian, Hindus, and Muslims.
Yeah.
I don't actually feel animosity, but it's very fun to say I do.
There never should be
But there shouldn't be
They build the most fire shit
In India ever
Yeah
And y'all didn't build
Nothing else
On the corner
I think we built it
I think they made us build it
Nah
Indian Muslims
Built the most fire shit
In India ever
Yeah
Indian Muslims built it
By themselves
Didn't ask y'all for no help
That's true
Right
That's true
Taj that shit up
That's true
Okay
Y'all took that shit over
kind of foul that's a little foul imperialistic it's a little imperialistic of y'all yeah and
then not even a thanks or nothing like that you want to talk about feeling besmirched
the pakistanis the muslims the muslims pakistan that ain't it that ain't enough we should have
given them a touch ball too that's too's too much. What do you mean?
That's their shit.
That's too far over.
You know how much they love places?
Wait, what do you mean?
Jerusalem and shit.
Don't they really love Mecca?
They love a place.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Location, location, location.
It's location, location, location, bro.
It's big time location people.
They love locations.
What did Khabib say?
You're going to pray?
Send location. Send location. Right? I'm going gonna pray you're gonna pray send location
send location right i'm gonna pray where to the mecca the location yeah muslims love location bro
oh they do be praying east as fuck they pray unless they're the other side then they pray west
yeah okay they face Mecca.
They do.
Yeah.
I'm just saying, bro.
They love locations the most.
That's their shit.
That's why we don't ask for reparations from Muslims.
We got them.
We got the Taj Mahal.
We're good.
And so that's an even trade.
Yeah, that's why we don't ask for reparations. There's other shit which we beef over.
Which is?
Kashmir.
We get that shit back, yo.
What is in Kashmir that's so valuable?
Yeah, just the sweater.
Kashmir?
I don't actually know,
but I know we be beefing about it,
so let's go India.
So it's just a little shit like...
If we're being real,
they should probably have their own independence,
but we're not being real, so...
Yeah, all feelings, no facts.
That's ours, you know what I mean?
Yeah, go all feelings, no facts.
That's ours.
And it's yours, but what's valuable there?
Is there like a trade route?
Is there minerals or some shit?
Cashmere, son.
Oh, cashmere really comes from cashmere?
The sweaters, yeah.
Bro.
Son, we got way better materials.
Fleece.
Yeah, you ever heard of strong glide?
Fleece sucks dick.
You ever heard of sporty and rich?
Sporty and rich.
That's not Indian.
Whatever this shit is right here.
That might have got made in India.
That was Kashmir.
Wouldn't have them fucking staying, staying on it like that.
That is not from Kashmir.
That's the drip.
That is from salsa verde.. That's the drip. That is from Salsa Verde.
I had some Mexican food.
I opened that little plastic shit and it jumped out of me.
Motherfucking salsa.
I thought I was getting over the border.
Got a little too excited.
Maybe they just thought it was more Salsa Verde.
It was like, oh, that's the plate.
Let's go.
It was trying to join.
It was trying to join.
It was trying to join.
This is a loud sweater, guys.
Anywho.
So, yeah, I just wanted to like understand how you feel about that
process all those feelings and those emotions
hey
Pakistan you want this
smoke
give us some fucking mountains
I was watching this shit and
oh you know what else they got
light skin ass people
maybe that's why we're
arguing about it like nah we get the light-skinned people for once for once fuck you gotta keep
tired of this shit let's keep south india you gotta you need something to even it up it would
be called cashmere like of course that's where the white indians are from wearing polo shirts
like it looks like a fucking shoulders yeah. Tied around their fucking shoulders.
Yeah, they're playing polo. They don't even put the sweaters on.
They just wear them like that and they're not.
There's got to be some trade route shit about that, man.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break.
Fellas, you fucking stink.
Let's be honest.
It's quarantine.
Nobody's bathing like they're supposed to.
Even Al getting dirty out here.
He's out here smelling like Mark when he comes in half the time.
Speak for yourself.
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What kind of cologne do I use? Every question question you answer they send you a product for that it is a one-stop shop for all your men's grooming needs anything else is a waste of time
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let me tell you something the packaging this shit comes in it could get you laid off rip the soap the hand soap my jamaican ass brother-in-law
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flagrant now let's get back to the show all right al i think it's time that you throw us through
some topics i think we do a little um what is it called like a speed rounds of feelings no facts
all right all right send it through let's go so did you guys see pictures of bow wow
and in these pictures he's caught on his tippy toes.
It's embarrassing, yo.
Just be short.
As a short guy, just be short.
Is he the most insecure rapper of all time?
He's gotta be, dog.
I mean, he has an entire challenge named after him about pretending to have shit you don't have.
Yeah, the Bow Wow challenge.
Yeah.
Like, that's a bad look.
What is weird about this to me is he's been famous and loved
since he was a child yeah and it's like he still doesn't believe it i don't know how much love i
mean his peak was when he was with sierra and even then people were saying she was a dude that was
the height of the sierra's a dude rumors probably just because she's so much taller than you fucking
bow wow they're like you're a guy don't date someone's so much taller than you fucking Bow Wow if you have a rumor that you're a guy
don't date someone
that looks way shorter
than you
right
yo she came back
from them
Sierra's a dude rumors
huh
bro
squeeze out some kids
she did it yo
she had the best comeback
she did it
probably
this might be the best
comeback of all time
yo
this literally might be
the best comeback
in history
you went from
a guy
to a sex symbol
after having
two children
you seen the
ride it video
ride it
that's what did it
then we were like
nah
back
yeah
I said ain't no dude there
hop on and ride it
she had a little period
where she was getting
thrown around
cause it was like
after Bow Wow
then I think she was
with 50
then I think it might have
been a little
Trey Songz in there
someplace
oh she likes
a little bad boy.
Future.
Yeah, but then boom.
And Russell got it.
Yeah.
She was just waiting for the good guy.
She just needed to get that out of her system.
I guess she needed to get that out of her system.
But back to Bow Wow on her tippy toes.
Al, you have some experience lying about your height.
How did you feel about this when you saw it?
Did you understand it?
This is different because I never take pictures on my tippy toes,
but I will try to get an advantage in the room currently
when I'm trying to shoot my shot at a much larger woman.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Try to lie.
Try to lie.
Try to lie.
What?
I'm owning.
Don't use your fourth bullet.
Word. That's kind of gay, bro. Yeah, that is. You're going to get sword fighting over there. It's happened one time What I'm owning Word
That's kind of gay
Yeah that is
Touching tips
Sword fighting over there
Alright
So what happened was
And y'all know this fucking story
Is Al was
Chopping it up to this shorty
You're not in the clear yet
And
He was
There was like a step
To get up to the table
With the bottles at the club
She was a tall
Tall girl
Six foot tall girl
Right
So Al
Stallion you might say
She's stallion She's stallion. She's stallion.
She's stallion.
And Al stepped up on the step, right, with one leg, but put all his weight on that one leg so the other leg was just hanging in the air.
Okay?
And that's how he was hitting.
You were shooting your shot.
You were chopping it up like that.
You were trying to get that competitive advantage.
Yeah.
So you think that maybe that's what Bow Wow was doing in this and you completely understand?
No.
No.
No.
Because he's not trying
to shoot a shot at anybody.
He just doesn't want
to look back at these pictures
and be so much shorter
than everybody else.
Like he's not,
he's not okay with himself.
That's the thing that's weird
is like you don't know
you're short by now?
Yeah.
Like we know you're short.
He don't want us to know.
But we know.
He's so aware
of how short he is
He's trying to hide it
At all times
That's true
He stopped calling himself
Lil Bow Wow
His first name was Lil Bow Wow
Every other rapper
That's Lil kept Lil
Yeah
Fucking Wayne
Still Wayne
Whoever else
Lil Baby
Still gonna be Lil Baby
Everybody
Every other Lil is Lil
Bow Wow the littlest
And he don't wanna admit it
He don't wanna fucking admit it
What do you think it is Akash
You are someone
Who seems like Accepting of your height You never try to front You never try to fake it I honestly don't want to admit it he don't want to fucking admit it what do you think it is akash you are uh someone who seems like accepting of your height you never try to front you never try to fake it
i honestly don't feel that i know i'm short but i don't feel like i'm like yeah i'm short what
are you gonna do and then i weirdly don't think i'm that much shorter than you until you say you're
six two and i'm like oh he's seven inches taller than me that's crazy that's a lot of fucking
inches but if you ask me i'd be like ah probably coming to andrew's fucking nose i don't know
yeah i forget i'm short it's weird and i'm glad because if i remembered i'd be like bow i'm
trying to hide it all the time or out i think in the indian community indians aren't typically tall
oh yeah five seven not bad for indian i knew most indian girls imagine being black yeah
five ten is considered
let me tell you this though
your dick grew
when you took blue chew
and if that happened to me
I'd be like
that's alright
I'll take 5'10
oh yeah
no no I take it
I happily accept it now
but I'm just saying
it's like
it was a struggle
you don't happily accept it
yes I do
why don't you
why'd you lie to that tall bitch
you think a girl that's 6 feet
cares that you're 6 feet
you know the funniest
the funniest
yo you a friend right now
can I tell you really something that's really funny you got your cap in can. You know the funniest You're fronting right? Yo you're fronting right now. Can I tell you
something that's really funny?
You got your cap in.
Can I tell you
something really funny?
You got your cap in crunch.
You got your cap in crunch.
Can I tell you
something really funny?
Na na na na na na na na na na
Cap man.
I didn't realize
I didn't realize
that the girl
actually works
with basketball players.
Right.
So my little one step
wasn't doing shit.
It wasn't doing
it was even in the playing field
But she's used to
A much taller playing field
Yeah
She don't give a fuck
I don't think
That's the thing
Tall women
Will date shorter guys
Because they don't get
Hit on a lot
Tall women
Because there's a lot of dudes
That are intimidated by them
Yeah
So you shouldn't have
You should have went even shorter
Yeah bro
I should have kept it harder
Lean into how short
Absolutely
Crouch a little bit
Punch that shit If you crouch a little bit punch that shit
if you crouch a little
next time I see ya
you got that Al?
alright
that's all I want
alright what else we got Al?
go
a lot of small businesses
are struggling
trying to stay open
especially restaurants
I saw this article
which is kind of dope
this restaurant in San Fran
they have these
bubble
style
tables
pods
pods
there you go
thoughts
let me say one thing.
I appreciate Asians
not spreading Corona
for once.
So good for you to plan.
Where is this?
In Chinatown?
No, it's in San Francisco
but it's Japanese folks
I think.
It's a sushi spot.
But the actual experience
seems terrible.
Yeah, like you're stuck
in this little bubble.
I mean, I get it.
They're going to have
to figure out something
because the big day,
D-Day is November 1st. Right? That's the day that the outdoor dining in new york expires oh yeah so
that's not to say that and even if they extend it is going to get cold in the next month it's
gonna be too cold to eat outside a month later 100 i think they need to get us indoors eating
indoors in order to save all these restaurants or at least save some of the restaurants i think
they need to do it by the end of sept. You know what's crazy is even with,
if you're doing physical distancing, most of these restaurants still won't make it
because we can't get enough people in there to pay the rent and we're already behind.
And you know, landlords ain't giving no fucking forgiveness. Yep. And on some level,
I understand the landlord's not giving forgiveness because they bought the buildings at these
inflated prices. So their mortgage doesn't allow the forgiveness. Like for example, I'm giving
a crazy low rent to the person I'm trying to rent my place to, right? But I'm losing money
doing that. I'm losing 1400 because I bought at the inflated price. So these landlords,
people are going, oh, what pieces of shit these landlords are. They're like, bro, I bought the
building at this price point and I can only profit, I bought the building at this price point, and I can only profit
if I rent it out at this price point,
or I can even break even if I rent it out at this price point.
So they can come less, but someone's
going to have to lose. It could be
the banks that lose, then the banks seize the property,
I guess, and they rent it out at whatever thing, but
they lent them the money,
so I guess the banks lose in that
scenario. Somebody's going to have to give.
Banks can lose we
already bailed them out once for fucking losing themselves oh i'm sorry i'm gonna take this l i
was speaking to this dude he owns a bunch of restaurants in the city right this shit was
crazy to me and i got to research this is feelings no facts is his feelings but i guess he understands
it right he says this to me he goes um the ppe loan right, that these restaurants got, you can only use that for- Wages.
Sorry?
Rent and wages.
Rent and wages, right?
So when the banks that lend out this money get the money from the government, right,
they take a percentage of that money.
Of course they do.
Right?
So the banks get that percentage.
Then they give you the PPE.
So the banks got their piece, right? They give you the PPE.
What can you pay back with the PPE only?
Wages and?
Rent.
Rent.
Not rent.
Mortgage.
Mortgage.
Right?
So you're paying rent to the guy who then pays it back, right?
In other words, they get lent this money.
And to whom do you pay mortgage?
So in other words, the Fed lends this money to the banks.
Banks get their percentage, give it out to the people, okay? the people then pay off their mortgages that they got from the bank the bank's making money
twice they're making their mortgage back and they're making money for giving you the free
money you got to give back to them you have to legally give it back to them or else they charge
you more money it should as a racket me this is a racket it's not that's
crazy it's a racket it's an absolute racket and i and i understand everybody like i understand
we're trying to like point fingers and people are trying to find who the bad guys are yeah
but i do empathize don't get me wrong there are people who are like legacy owners of buildings
in in new york they've owned buildings for fucking 100 years and they're renting out at
the current inflated price they're making hand over fist.
Those people that aren't dropping rents
are absolute scumbag pieces of shit.
Let's be honest.
Right.
Okay?
If you just recently bought a building
and that's the lowest you can rent it for,
I get that.
You're fucked too.
But if you're trying to squeeze motherfuckers out
when you're making 100% profit,
you're a scumbag.
And I say this as someone
who's losing money
renting my place out.
Banks are scumbags.
Pretty much always. 100%. Anytime you want to. Banks are scumbags, pretty much always.
100%.
Anytime you want to say banks are scumbags, you right.
100%.
Especially because their ass is going to get bailed out if they fuck up.
And that's what even if we did loan forgiveness, they would find a way for the government to fund it.
They're not taking an L ever.
They're not going to take that fucking L.
I've been watching all these little YouTube videos that are kind of cool.
And this guy, I think his name is Jake Tran.
I think his name, he breaks down all these things.
He broke down this one thing that was really interesting
about how you don't need to have a monopoly
if you get the government to protect your business, right?
And this shit was so far.
So for example, Jeff Bezos, right?
Gets all this pressure because he has employees that are on fucking food stamps
because they can't make enough money to survive while he's making billions of dollars.
Right.
So all the pressure goes to Jeff Bezos, and then finally Jeff Bezos has to acquiesce.
He pays $15 minimum wage.
He goes, Amazon, we're going to do $15 minimum wage.
Yep.
Everybody's saying, oh my God, Jeff Bezos is such a great guy, right?
Nope.
And then he comes out and he goes, you know what else we're going to do?
That should be the standard for all businesses in America $15 minimum wage and everybody goes what an amazing guy he wants everybody make $15 slow to fucking roll
pump the brakes he wants everybody to pay 15 so that they don't now have a competitive advantage
over him when he's paying 15 and Walmart's paying 725 they have a competitive advantage over him. When he's paying 15 and Walmart's paying 725,
they have a competitive advantage over Amazon.
So the only way he can protect his low cost
is by bringing everybody up.
And what does he do?
He lobbies the government
to force the other businesses
to give him a competitive advantage again.
And you know where he's going to double win?
Once everybody comes up,
you know what he's going to do?
And he's already starting to do?
Fire his employees, get robots that can do the job, and you buy the robot once.
Get it with the fucking robots.
Jesus, this is your new Tiki Wiki.
It's Tiki Tiki.
You know you deserve it for that, yo.
You deserve it for that.
I do.
No, but you're right.
Those are the most replaceable employees absolutely mcdonald's
gonna do the same shit you make us pay minimum wage okay just order at this screen right here
and now we save 15 not only not spending 7.25 an hour we're saving 15 an hour and you see what
what all these uh fast food places have done they're like we like to reduce the amount of
like a person-to-person contact because of corona so why don't you just order your shit on these
screens oh is that why?
You haven't been setting this shit up
for the last fucking three years?
This is the perfect opportunity to get you used to it.
Remember how long it took for us to get used to the fucking
thing at the grocery store and CVS
where you had to do it yourself?
I hate that shit still. That shit took years.
But if we had to do it and we were like,
oh, this makes us safer.
Then you just get used to it.
You're not mentally fighting it.
You're like, nah, this protects us.
Nah, you're right.
Have you guys ever stole from those machines we should we should all i don't
know why what's in me it crossed my mind every single time i've never done it and i won't do it
i don't know why why do i have this like i know it's okay it's bad to steal but it's almost like
i feel like oh i'm really fucking somebody over if i steal this piece of chewing gum like for some
reason i don't know what it is.
What did they brainwash us to?
That's a good point. Maybe it's like it's so
obvious that you're like, oh,
something's up here. Yeah, I think you're more likely to get
caught at those things. One, because you're on camera.
Yeah. So they have a camera in the thing
looking at you scanning. Like if you have a bunch of shit
like, oh, boop, this one didn't get scanned. You can take a pack
of gum probably every time. Yeah, pack of gum.
Wait. Actually, pack of gum might even be difficult unless you put in your pocket so
there's a the weight situation it's not that accurate is it not like it can sense changes
and shit like that but if you put half your bags down and be like yo i can't fit any more stuff
here so it's like they have to just override the shit that makes sense yeah it is interesting and
it could be that it could just be like it's too obvious this seems like a trap i'm not gonna do it yeah i don't feel i don't
want to steal i feel like i'm too old etc but like mentally i would feel more sad if i stealing from
them i don't my head i feel like steal i do consume within the store and not pay and i feel
completely okay with that i've done that shit a lot on accident.
So that's stealing.
It's not stealing.
Look at the two minorities, non-criminals here.
These fucking guys.
Y'all don't know how to steal.
Y'all steal and run out.
We eat it in the store and walk out.
Yeah.
Well, I've done it on accident where I normally will just go through the store and I'll be like eating shit.
Keep going.
Who the fuck told you you got a bullet?
I'm sorry.
Go, go, go.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'll go through and I'll be eating shit
and then I go to the checkout lady
and then I'll have her swipe,
I'll have her scan the trash.
That's what you're supposed to do.
But I go, hey, I ate all these Oreos.
Can you scan it?
And then she'll scan the garbage and throw it away
and then that's it.
Yeah, so you didn't pay for it.
That's not scary. But sometimes, but then other times I forget and then sometimes it'll just be in the it away and then that's it. Yeah, so you didn't pay for it. Sometimes,
but then other times I forget
and then sometimes
it'll just be in the cart
and I won't pay it out.
See, I don't forget
and I don't do it.
Well, what do you mean?
But that's not theft.
That's exactly that.
That's not theft.
Theft is leaving the place
without paying.
You do leave the place
without paying.
You actually leave the place
without paying.
It's in your belly.
It's in your tummy.
And I trust that gut.
That's actually not true.
It's in your tummy.
It's not in my tummy. And your small intestines. Maybe it's actually not true. It's in your tummy. It's not in my tummy.
In your small intestines. Maybe it's in my stomach. I don't know if I trust your gut anymore.
Yeah, your gut's not trustworthy. Wow, yo, dishonest
ass gut. That's a dishonest gut you got there,
son. Y'all are really
asking for it. That's a dishonest gut you got
there, brother. Yo, do we let him have it?
I think we let him have it. In three,
two, one.
Come on, son. We're not animals. Come on. We're not going to hurt you. In three, two, one. Come on, son.
We're not animals.
Come on.
We're not going to hurt you.
Andrew, come on, dog.
Son, there's a list of the podcasts.
Come on.
There's no.
Nobody's even had the gun up.
Y'all are with me.
I ain't idiot.
Damn it.
We're out.
Yo, chill out.
Chill out.
It's a list of the podcasts.
Son. People don't like this. Stop it. People don't like the podcast People don't like this Stop it
People don't like this
You're gonna get shot
Yo come on
Let's talk about
Bella Thorne's only trends
Yo she look like a he
She do
I thought
Oh I thought
Something going on here
Strong jaw bro
Are they one of the Hadids or not No She's just going on here Strong jaw bro Are they one of the
Hadids
Or not
No
She's just a
Disney chick
Strong jaw
She got the strong one
She was mad cute
She do look like you
She do look like me
A little bit
I ain't gonna front
That could be me
That maybe could be me
Are you showing this picture
Right now
That is weird
Because
Now that you say that
Turn your head to the side
That's a little odd That's trans Drew Yeah that's say that. Turn your head to the side. I see that.
That's a little odd. That's trans Drew.
Yeah, that's a little odd.
That's me, bro.
It is what it is.
Does he have a bullet in there?
Yes, I do have a bullet in there.
You're not allowed to shoot it.
Fuck, boy.
You're not allowed to shoot it.
Say one more thing.
You already shot your shit.
You shot your third one.
So you try one more shit.
See what happens, all right?
Try one more fucking shit.
You too, acting up.
I'm the only honest one in this motherfucker.
No, you're not.
I got both y'all in the face.
Mark me third.
So Bella Thorne, she gets on OnlyFans, and she's like, hey, I'm going to show my nude,
but you have to pay $200.
And then the picture that she shows, she's not actually nude, so a bunch of people request
for their money back.
She's nude, but she's not showing nipple or pussy.
Yeah, but she is nude.
Oh, okay.
It's not inaccurate. Yeah, but she's not showing nipple or pussy. Yeah, but she is nude. Oh, okay. It's not inaccurate.
Yeah, but still.
Misleading.
Nah, that shit is duplicitous.
Yeah.
So I see your dick, yo.
Two million?
Just post it.
You wouldn't just show your titties for two million?
Also, she already has nudes that are leaked.
So then what's the big deal?
She got in a whole scandal a couple years ago, if you remember, that she fucking-
How old was she then?
Because that's important to know.
I think legal. Nah, she was legal. She was legal. I think she was legal. But you remember that she fucking how old was she then because that's important to know i think legal she's legal she's legal i think she's legal
you'd be on it is what it is bro you'd be on it this is like a year or two years ago someone's
trying to extort her they were trying to blackmail her they hacked into like her iCloud they were
like just send us money we're gonna leak your news and then she just goes fuck you i'm gonna
leak them anyway she leaked them first yeah stupid motherfuckers were paying 200 to see this
bitch's nudes yeah they probably jerked off to her heller when they were teenagers yeah
it's probably a legacy type shit i don't get it i just don't get it when you got
olive tree cafe of nudes real talk yo you want to know some weird shit bro Yeah You look like Bella Thorne I do look like Bella Thorne
What else
But this is some weird shit
Usually I'm not into pregnancy porn
Wow
When it starts like that
I mean
Usually I'm not
Alright dude
I'm not into it
But
But
Adam 22's girl
Lena Posted an Instagram but adam 22's girl lena posted an instagram where she's pregnant and looking hot
sweet girl lovely girl love lena but she's looking hot pregnant bro she's in like some lingerie
is that foul to be into your friend's pregnant wife girl whatever i don't think
i don't think you can nah i think we're not close enough where i can say that i'm not gonna talk
about his girl but we could talk about the concept of that i mean she's posting it that's the other
thing she's posting it are we talking about this one no that's a little real al come on you're
getting the pictures on it's the most latest one it's the latest one it's like a little video or like a gif you could
put it up i think we should objectively talk about this because i've been that's the one category of
pornography that i do not fuck with wait there's gay porn damn it well if they can get pregnant
there's a real fucking problem that's's the only category? All right.
The only category of male, female.
There's incest porn.
I'm okay with that.
All right.
Because it's fake.
Can we show this?
Yeah, we can show that.
All right.
I mean, she posted on her Instagram.
I mean, you have to admit.
Tini's fully milked.
The heavy.
The heavies.
She got the heavies, bro.
Like Adele in the breast.
Word.
Son, she got some Adeles right there, bro.
Nah, man.
I can't get past the belly, yo.
Unseen.
Shit, protruding like she giving birth to Mark.
Accent.
I can't do it, yo.
I can't do it.
Yo, that's your fifth bullet, bro.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
You got extra bullets, dog.
I have two extra.
Yeah, I got two extra bullets.
He's been reloaded.
Son, I can't believe you're going to not shoot him for shooting me.
I got the camera in the way.
I'll handle business.
I already done shot all his, man.
Stop it.
Do something.
Nah, but he cheated.
So I can't unsee that she took a train by like five dudes or some shit
like that. That's what you can't unsee?
Wait a minute, what? What do you mean she took a train by five dudes?
So recently, like
Ack and
her boyfriend, they got into a little battle. Adam.
Adam 22. Yeah.
And Ack exposed some details that
she had a train ran on her by. I believe
it was five dudes.
For money or something or what for i
mean was it for a porn maybe maybe it was but like she's a sex worker right like that's what she does
any guy that's dating a porn star if you try to insult him with guys that his girl is fucked it
doesn't work because she gets fucked for money exactly on camera because she's in porn exactly
so that's not shocking the thing that was shocking to me is usually i do not like pregnancy porn or
anything like that i haven't looked at any pregnancy was shocking to me is usually I do not like pregnancy porn or anything like that.
I haven't looked at any pregnancy porn.
That's the one thing I do not click on.
I do not know.
All I know is in this one image on Instagram.
It's not because we have a question.
I just want to know if she don't get maternity leave from sex work.
Son, she got to get eight weeks at least.
Son, there's no maternity leave in OnlyFans.
That's funny.
That's disrespectful.
We should say something.
Oh, my God.
Okay, that being said, thank God some of these girls don't do that
because there are guys that are into the pregnancy porn.
I won't even allow myself to indulge in it.
Have you ever watched one? I can't do it. You don't in it. Have you ever watched one? I can't do it.
You don't watch it? Have you ever watched one out? Be honest.
Be honest. You didn't even put the cursor
in front of the video where it gives the little
highlight shit? No, I didn't.
You didn't scrub through? You didn't do no scrub?
Nah. Mark? You didn't have to pull
it up. What? Have you watched any
pregnancy porn? I have viewed it, but I haven't
used it as a masturbatory
device. Yeah device until completion
what did you do you just slap your dick on your fucking
i'm all out now oh god so nice that someone else has something big on their head besides me in this room
okay in all seriousness you enjoyed it or you did it purely for research purposes mark
uh mostly research but i'm not necessarily turned
off by it why not because to me i'm thinking like back in the day especially when people were
i was looking like like when the waiter brings the plate and you said no onions and there's just
onions all over it like come on waiting this whole time for the fucking sound you got into the goddamn sound
how do you start with cap mainly for research
i like research everyone knows that about me bro if there was a wikipedia for the porn i would
have read it okay but they don't really have that that feature okay go go what are you doing
i'm not doing anything go but tell us tell us tell us you're not reloading right i'm not reloading
all right tell us so basically like i'm thinking not reloading right i'm not reloading all right
tell us so basically like i'm thinking back in the day you would have a bunch of kids with your
wife right and you and your wife you'd have a bunch of kids and because of that she'd be pregnant a
lot of the time right and you would be making love to her while pregnant nine months out of the year
you're making love to her while pregnant and then two months she's probably got to heal up from that
shit and then she gets pregnant again and then you have make love to her pregnant so most of her life
she probably was pregnant biologically speaking you and then you make love to her pregnant. So most of her life, she probably was pregnant. Biologically speaking.
You're more adaptive at making love to your pregnant spouse than you are to her not pregnant.
Oh, my God.
Back in the day when you're having a bunch of kids over and over back to back to back.
This is a great point.
Pregnancy porn is actually more normal.
This is a great point.
Now, some might say we're not supposed to be sexually attracted to pregnant women because it's a waste of cum.
now some might say we're not supposed to be sexually attracted to pregnant women because it's a waste of cum now potentially i've heard that there are studies that say that husbands
are most attractive to their women when they are pregnant why jnv what well dj envy likes
fucking pregnant pussy oh yeah said that being said maybe you're most attractive to your wife
because you want to protect her the most because she needs that to survive yeah because you
understand oh she's carrying my child that's what i want biologically that being said there's no way
that god or evolution or whatever it is would allow you to waste cum but we switch it up socially
speaking so now we want to fuck with no consequences what is the least consequential fuck
is pregnancy yo that's not biological mark is making good points america's making good points
that being said biologically speaking i think it is a waste of your cum and therefore your body
would reject it it doesn't like waste and cum and it doesn't care that the same reason why we're not attracted
to super old old old women they're no longer fertile a pregnant woman is just as infertile
as an old woman so therefore we should not be attracted to them but i don't think it's a binary
i think it's probably a spectrum say again i think it's a spectrum i think you said that to not lose
an argument why would i ever say that why would i ever say something i think so too yeah it's not binary it's not binary it's a spectrum so that's
why pregnancy porn is not the most popular porn but it is a subset that isn't inherently like
the grossest thing to me yeah well why are our girls repulsive when they're on their periods I see the pregnancy point,
but how come our girls go through our Instagrams,
Mark?
How come they see who we're following?
These dumb whores.
These stupid sex workers.
Yeah, that seems more like a personal vendetta.
So what is the jury out?
Did we show the picture of her yet or the video of her yet?
Women can get pregnant on their period.
No, they can't.
Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, stop it with your Jesus stuff.
Stop it with your Jesus stuff.
Mark, Mark, stop it with your Jesus stuff.
Women don't even have to get fucked to get pregnant, actually.
Historical precedent. Really? If three dudes show up to your house on an ounce your girl pregnant
that motherfucker's angels
no but for real you can't get pregnant on your period yeah you stop it you can't your girl's
literally a prenatal nurse she knows better better. Yeah. You cannot get pregnant on your period. Your period is the absence of pregnant.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
You can't get pregnant on pre-cum.
You can't get pregnant on your period.
You can't get pregnant on Saturday.
Why are we trusting Al on the pregnant on the period thing?
Al.
Who got more girls pregnant than Al?
I wouldn't know.
And he never did on their period because he's repulsed.
Okay.
Now we're doing all facts, no feelings. Dummies.
Okay, go.
Can you get pregnant on your period?
The simple answer is yes.
The simple answer is no.
Dummy.
No, you can't.
All right, but for real though.
The blood blocks it.
No, you can't.
They can't swim in blood.
They can't swim in blood.
They can't swim in blood.
There's fucking eggshells all over the fucking place.
How are you going to get there?
It's tough.
Maybe the sperm is as repulsive as Al is, and it just swims away from the earth.
It might swim back up on your dick.
That's why Al's shit goes to the left.
Because it's looking forward, and then it's like, ew, blood, and it just goes against
the side wall.
That could be it.
That could be it.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second.
Let me tell you something.
You're listening right now.
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Now let's get back to the show.
Okay, our next topic
before we run out of steam.
We didn't settle
pregnancy porn.
Now we did.
Pregnancy porn.
Oh yeah.
It's still gross.
All right.
That being said,
let it look fine pregnant.
All right. Two things can be true. okay i wonder if her only fan subscriptions have gone up or down since pregnancy i bet they
went up in like a different demographic oh yeah yeah i'm just gonna drop in about seven months
that might happen we're gonna talk any sports yo luca donchich was abusing paul georgeson
abuse did you watch it i didn't watch it to be
oh my god bro let's talk about as we get out of here luca donchich not only see the truth
he literally bullied marcus morris and marquis for whatever the fuck which one it was
to the point where he got flagrant too out of the game he literally tapped out of the game himself
that's in my opinion that's him going i can't guard you i can't have you my ego won't allow you to uh to make me look like a bitch on national tv yeah i'm
gonna foul you in a way where they'll take me out of the game because i know the coach is not gonna
take me out so he tapped out of the game that was some real soft ass shit if you ask me and then
playoff p right came out there and luca was abusing him kawaii still that fucking dude like
literally there was a point in the game where Kawhi goes off for
nine or 12 straight points in the fourth.
It was unbelievable.
But Luka is...
Paul is pathetic.
Luka is the truth, and Kawhi is still
a fucking cyborg.
I thought Paul Judge had a good game, though.
That motherfucker was getting abused, bro.
When I came in in third and fourth quarters, abuse.
It looks sad. That's without Chris Steps. And without Chris Step abused, bro. When I came in the third and fourth quarters, abuse. It looked sad.
That's without Chris Stapps.
And without Chris Stapps, yeah.
He's their entire offense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
But y'all got something to look forward to, bro.
Yo, that Chris Stapps trade might be the rare lose-lose.
Yeah.
Everybody might have lost that one.
Yeah.
Nick's lost Chris Stapps and Tim Hardaway Jr., who's good and Trey Burke who's good for the Mavs.
Yeah.
You got your little
picks that you ain't
gonna do shit with
and then the Mavs
got Chris Stapps
but he's just fragile, yo.
Yeah.
You had to do the trade.
You had to sign him
but he's mad fragile.
He is, man.
And that was the issue
with the knee, right?
Yeah.
The Knicks didn't believe
in the knee?
I think it was the other knee.
He's just too tall.
I think over 7'3",
there's like a height
where players are just
way more prone to injury.
Yeah.
And he's 7'4".
Yeah.
It was scary from the beginning.
I think they got Lucas, so they won.
Yeah.
I heard they announced a saying that the Mavs need an enforcer.
They do need that.
Because now the teams look at them soft.
Yeah.
And they come at them.
That's been their reputation for like 25, 30 years.
Since Dirk.
Just bully him.
Not going to do anything.
Oh, really?
And the year they won, they had Deshaun Stevenson, who that's a guy who you think could get down.
Yeah.
And he used to fight for Dirk. He used to used to love dirt so i think they need another one of those
but those guys are easy to get but why don't you get one of the morris brothers like that's what i
would do i would sign the other one aren't they from texas i don't know i know they play ball
at kansas but i'm if i'm the mavs yeah as a fuck you to was it marcus yeah i would sign marquise
interesting yeah you need someone to protect luca because it's getting a little it's getting a
little rough out there.
Yeah, but that's one thing
I remember Paul George saying
in like game two
or one even is like,
let's see if he can do this
for seven games.
He can.
Like you can bully him
while you want to.
The guy, I'm telling you,
he's from hell.
You can't just like
rough him up and he's scared.
Son, how soft is Paul George?
Motherfucker,
talked shit on a gram
and then proceeded to have
the worst playoffs
in his entire career.
Like that dude is emotionally soft,
and I'm concerned what happens deep in the playoffs with a guy like that.
He gets rattled.
Kawhi fucked up, I think.
If he's still on the Raptors, they're a lock for the finals, right?
Yeah.
I mean, I think the Raps obviously lost to Boston,
but I think the Raps can make adjustments and figure that out.
We're going to see what happens.
I hope so.
Yeah, we're going to see what happens. I hope so. Yeah. We're going to see what happens.
I'm tired of Boston disappointing us in the playoffs.
Yeah.
The thing about Boston is like their young guns just keep developing.
Jason Tatum is impressive.
Jalen Brown is good.
Tatum is their like unquestioned alpha.
Once you got rid of fucking Kyrie.
Yeah.
See ya.
Let Jason grow.
You had to.
You had to.
Kyrie.
Yeah.
Kyrie always gets in everybody's way.
Yeah.
Is there another story that was worth talking about in the playoffs? feel like there was Donovan Mitchell or oh Jamal Murray oh yeah
this kid is the truth bro you know what bothers me about him is he's mad inconsistent if he goes
off they win and if he doesn't they lose my from what I've heard the scouting report on him is um
he is a absolute fucking superstar rock star the issue is game 49 on a tuesday mid-season he just doesn't really care so it's
getting him to get charged up to play for every single game and the thing about jordan is it
didn't matter if it was an exhibition game in france yeah he was going to give everything he
needed that victory he would fucking bleed he would bleed for it he would do everything jamal
murray is a steel trap like emotionally he's
the opposite of paul george he is not scared of the moment he is resilient his brain is unfazed
the problem is when the stakes are not high apparently he doesn't care that much i think
if he's on fire they win it's just that simple yeah but to me he was always inconsistent maybe
his effort but then that's why they need i I think they're going to need to make a trade
or hope Michael Porter Jr. becomes like a fucking solid.
Yeah, you give him another year.
Yeah, so we'll see what happens.
But if next year doesn't happen,
I think they might need to shake things up.
They might win this, yeah.
They were my dark horse because of Porter Jr.
I thought he could develop, if not this year, next year.
But I don't know.
We'll see.
We'll see what happens.
Yeah, I need to thank Obama for letting the season restart.
That's true.
That's true.
What was his advice?
Some dumb ass shit?
He said, shut up and dribble.
Basically.
Basically, right?
Like, I need some shit to do, all right?
Michelle out here arm wrestling.
Come on.
I need some shit to do.
I'm bored.
Yo, arm wrestle Michelle or Barack?
Who wins?
Be honest.
Oh, Michelle got that.
Michelle breaking his fucking wrist.
Yeah, Michelle got that.
She's snapping his wrist.
Only because he's a gentleman and he'll let her win.
Fair enough.
Yeah.
Who curls more at the gym?
In all seriousness, though, shouts to Barack for being available to the players.
I think when he's done bench pressing
she just spots
and just stands over him
like that
with the barbell.
I will say that though
shouts to Barack
for like just being available.
Like I don't know
that many people
that have a relationship
with just NBA players.
You know like Bill Clinton
would be at all these
like Arkansas Razorback games
and she's like
I don't know
if his phone number
he's just handing out.
He's just trying to fuck
girls that were visiting college.
The seniors that are trying to decide what school to go to.
Probably.
That's his move.
I'm just saying, I think that's pretty dope of Barack
in giving us some advice.
I didn't necessarily agree with the advice, so to say.
I really believe what I was saying on the last step
about starting some sort of lobby
to give actual real economic and political pressure
on these organizations that you want to do.
I think that is the way to go, and I think that Barack should know better. I think that is the way to go and I think that
Barack should know better than anybody that that's the way to go
because that's what he had to deal with for eight years in D.C.
But
look, he's got way more experience than me in this
so hopefully he gave them some good advice, man.
I just think it's dope that he makes himself available
for that. He does not have to do that and no one
would be upset at him if he didn't do that.
And the fact that he did is just fucking ill.
Yeah. Anyway, guys, that did is just fucking ill. Yeah.
Anyway,
guys,
that's been another episode
of Flagrant 2, man.
We had a lot of fun.
And listen,
what I do have to say is
I still got one more bullet, bro.
You have shot all your bullets.
I don't think you do.
And here's the thing.
Remember,
the three bullet minimum
was for the episode.
Once this episode is over, it's a free-for-all.
So I just want to point that out to everybody that's here.
Someone's about to get some justice the second we end this episode.
This has been Flaygern2.
And I just want to let y'all know that if y'all want to continue this
and maybe see who got got and who got got right in their fucking mouth
and their face you
can always join us this friday on patreon.com flagrant too that's right you know we do a whole
new episode a whole new episode every friday that's right starting at five dollars a month
you could get four episodes a month four episodes we. We will see you Friday,
Asshole Army.
Peace.