Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Akaash Gets Rogan Canceled AGAIN?
Episode Date: February 10, 2022BONUS EP: Akaash is back and we had to know how he felt now that he was big time after being on Rogan and crushing it with Bring Back Apu Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unap...ologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf #Flagrant2 #AndrewSchulz #AkaashSingh #AlexxMedia
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What's up, everybody?
You lucky motherfuckers.
Getting a second episode this week.
But we had to do it because we were missing a key component to the Flickr 2 podcast when we did that other episode.
First of all, shouts out to Abin Preach for filling in.
The best.
I'm sad I missed him.
But the god Akash Singh was busy trying to get Rogan canceled again.
Yo, had to do it.
You had to do it.
I had to do it.
You had to do it.
I can't help it.
I was listening.
Phenomenal episode. You absolutely killed it. It was so much fun. You guys had this amazing rapport. had to do it you had to do it I had to do it you had to do it I can't help it I was listening phenomenal episode
you absolutely killed it
it was so much fun
you guys had this
amazing rapport
I knew you were
going to fucking do great
thank you
and I went on
and somebody sent me
a link I think
to the group chat
I forget what it was
and it was your
fucking smug face
smiling ear to ear
as Rogan's about
to get cancelled again
because you roped him
into kid fucking
yeah
what the hell did you do why would you do that I truly don't remember you roped him into kid fucking yeah what the hell
did you do okay i truly don't remember roped him into kid fucking i don't remember how he got there
sure you don't wow you're talking about subway sandwiches or something like that oh i think it
started with fat people and then subway and then there you go like you're a kid fucker and then
you're like don't you like that joe or you said something like that you roped him in how'd you
rope him in dude i don't know i went in there with a mission you know i was like hey joe hasn't done anything
for us yeah let's get this guy canceled you know this guy this guy doesn't elevate anybody
we got to get him out of here literally the episode where he's got to be on his best behavior ever
akash is out there so what do you think about kid fucking huh what about when it's a guy who
fucked a young a young boy who fucks an older woman what
about that and poor joe took the bait he's like that sounds like fun he just realized it's more
fun early on than most people and then proceeded then proceeded to shit all over you later in the
episode because you weren't kid fucked yeah that's true that's true john told me it wasn't a choice
to be a virgin no no what was no. What was the convo?
Yo, I think we were talking about Subway, and then we were talking about like, yeah,
it's fucked up, whatever.
And then he said, but it's not as bad if a guy fucks a male, if a male teacher fucks
a female, male student fucks a female teacher.
There it is.
As the other way around, which is something.
We all agree.
Yeah, something we all, I guess, have publicly talked about for years years and suddenly it's a problem yeah and then uh that was it he was
basically like i you just hope it's a hot teacher for your son's sake yes not a cafeteria lady of
course yeah what a monster yeah what a piece of shit no but he had a kind of funny take on it he's
like you just found something really awesome earlier in life yeah which is so true and like
now you waited till you were 31 to have sex yeah
and i'm gay dude why did i do that real talk like what a compliment to your girl
yeah like low-key did she feel it was she like you are a virgin was there a reaction at all
i'm gonna be honest i don't think she felt much of anything
we never asked you about this yeah yeah how was your first time having sex it's a fucking
nightmare tell me it didn't fit what did it fit she wasn't putting in you yeah no mine didn't
fit oh okay yeah yeah yeah she didn't strap it up or anything like that no no no i didn't start
getting picked up later that was like anniversary stuff right no but it didn't fit it was just like
i really it was a whole did that that feel pretty good? No, because
it took so long to find it in the first place.
When it didn't fit, I was like, y'all be fucking kidding me.
I just got here.
No.
It's like waiting all fucking weeks for concert
tickets and you get to the gate and it's closed.
You know what I mean? You buy a house and the fucking
key's not the right key. Exactly.
I dreamt of this house for years.
Living inside of here, never moving out. Yeah, they gave you the wrong fucking key. Oh, look at the right key. Exactly. God damn it, dude. I dreamt of this house for years. Living inside of here, never moving out.
Yeah, they gave you
the wrong fucking key.
Oh, look at the virgins.
Yeah.
Look at them relating.
I've been falling in pussies
since I was a kid.
Whatever,
these guys aren't going to heaven.
Exactly.
It is what it is.
This guy didn't wait.
Fuck out of here.
Yeah, exactly.
No, I did.
We did a little bit.
Yeah. Waited longer than you had to. Because a condom doesn't count, bro. I didn't wait. Fuck out of here. Exactly. No, I did. We did a little bit. Yeah.
Waited longer than you had to.
Because a condom doesn't count, bro.
I didn't have sex.
My rubber had sex.
That's true.
You fucked a condom.
Condom fucked her.
Exactly.
That's how it goes.
That's how it goes, dude.
That's what I'm saying.
Ah, dude.
You're so much smarter than God.
You're so much smarter than God.
I'm a tricker, dude.
Wait a minute.
But this is interesting.
So the first time, couldn't find it, and it didn't fit.
Right, right, right.
And when it didn't fit was a little bit of you like,
these other hoes was lucky.
I don't think either one of us felt that way.
I think we were both like, let's just, we'll try again later.
Oh, really?
This is not, yeah, this is not.
So you just bumped it traffic style and then just chilled?
Yeah, we just, we had to put a pause on it because it just wasn't happening.
What did you do in the meantime?
Beat it down or just let it?
What did you do?
Wait, what?
What do you mean beat it down?
Like jerk it off.
Oh, his own.
Oh, okay.
Oh, no, no, no.
Beat the girl.
I don't know.
He's Indian, actually.
No, I think I cried in a corner and just hoped it would work out the next time.
We got there, though.
We got there.
Really? Yeah, we got there. Nice. would work out the next time. We got there, though. We got there. Really?
Yeah, we got there.
Nice.
It just took a little time.
Hell yeah.
Wait, same day?
Or did you try a different day?
I think it was same day.
Same day, bro.
Amazon Prime Akash over there.
Let's go.
I truly blocked out the memory, so I don't have full recollection.
Hold on.
You were fully bricked up.
Akash, full bricked, right?
The cobra was out the basket, right?
Full bricked, obviously.
Who's half bricked?
Wait a few years, my friend.
When you've been fucking for longer than you've been alive,
there's a lot of half bricks out there.
Shouts to Bluetooth.
No, longer than you have not been fucking.
I've been fucking longer than I've been alive.
Is that true?
I've started in pussy.
Where y'all did.
Where y'all came from.
I'm a C-section.
Actually, you started in balls. Damn, bro. You started in pussy. Where y'all did. Where y'all came from. I'm a C-section. Actually, you started in balls.
Damn, bro.
You started in balls.
No, no, no.
I wasn't fully formed in balls, but I was fully formed in pussy.
I was half me when I was in the balls.
So you half fucking...
I'm half woman.
I'm half woman.
All of us are trans.
You're two-spirit.
I am two-spirit.
Every single one of us.
That sperm is only half of you, dude. trans You're two spirit I am two spirit Every single one of us Yeah you're right
That sperm is only half of you dude
We're all two spirit
Yo the better half
Is the female one
The one that has compassion
And empathy
And like listening
Yes
Thank you
I thought you guys
Would support that
I do support it
Do you know what I mean
Nah bro
Come on
I'm full sperm dog
You're full sperm dude
I'm full sperm
Really
Straight from the nuts bro
There we go
I live in nuts sex
Hell yeah bro
XX chromosome bro fuck that y shit
wait a minute damn we're all two-spirit is that i thought i was on to something
no we're all two-spirit you're right sounding like you're all sperm is way cooler yeah yeah
i made it sound more swaggy but scientifically you know i mean you got it but we couldn't all make that argument well not all of us if you're c-section you can't
but like some of us can make that argument they're like we've been in pussy from day one i'm day one
pussy right here tearing up pussy yeah that's your block bro son real talk yeah rep your set
yeah like were you c-section or regular maybe that's why you couldn't find it because you
didn't know where i was in the first place.
I was C-section.
You were probably digging down belly button.
Yeah, I was C-section.
That's why, dude.
You were C-section?
That's why.
You didn't know, dude.
Something happens when you come out the canal.
You know where that shit is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
100%.
100%.
First time I had sex, I knew exactly where that shit is.
Whoa.
Dead ass.
For real.
On the beach.
Sand everywhere, dude.
Kind of like how Vala lost his virginity.
This was consensual though but on the beach july 4th what dude what dude you want to get everybody canceled out
bringing up these topics i didn't bring it up you brought it up you brought up kid fucking
i'm talking about when i was a kid and i fucked yeah okay how old were you? I was 16. And how old was she? 18. Nice.
Whoa.
Wow.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Rapist.
She's a rapist.
I got fucking raped.
We got to cancel.
Yeah, dog.
You got raped.
I got to call her up about that.
Yeah.
You got to call the police.
You still got her number?
Call the police right now.
Call the police.
Call the police.
It's my friend's cousin.
I can get the number right now.
Oh, can we make that call?
100%.
I can call right now.
Actually, that'd be kind of fun.
Hold on.
No, no. Yeah. Yep. Dude. I think this is a Patreon I haven't spoken to him in a minute too
so this is going to be really fun
I invited him to my wedding
and I
I didn't invite him to the wedding
how are you going to open the combo
we'll see.
Yo, remember that time I nutted your sister?
I'll try that one.
Okay.
It was her cousin, but it was cousin.
No, cousin.
Let's see.
See if he picks up.
He's a school teacher, so he might be doing something with children.
I don't think we're getting him.
Hello?
Yo!
What's up, dude?
Congratulations.
Oh, thank you so much, man. I'm sorry I didn't invite you um listen i heard a bunch of people got coveted at that thing anyway yeah everybody got covered
it was really fucked up it was better it was better that you didn't go you need to
teach america's youth you know yeah right fucking entertain them more like it
uh listen i'm just doing the podcast right now and none of my
uh podcast co-hosts believe that i lost my virginity to your cousin oh yes you did
okay akash in all seriousness you didn't get joe rogan canceled again but you guys did have
fun conversation great podcast how do you feel about it i felt good i didn't want to try too hard i
didn't want to push too much and like but i felt like it was good i felt like i did what i needed
to do when i got there you were excellent thank you so much i mean this objectively and i'll tell
you something honestly and i think i texted this i didn't know i knew i was going to be excited for
you yeah i didn't realize how like happy and exciting it was like i know i was like blown away yeah like i got emotional
i did too but you're supposed to you know at you you're the yeah this how supportive you've been
through this whole thing how much i said this on rogan so more people heard it but the amount of
help this guy gave me on the special he said a couple days before it dropped um i got from 12
to 4 p.m i'll help you edit this guy taught me how to elevate every aspect of the special and stay till 4 a.m 16 hours but
that's what we do he's why it was late but it was worth it that's what we do for each other and you
spend hours with me like when we're preparing for guy code and all these things back in the day this
is just what we do but uh but i was just so proud of you you're so eloquent so articulate like yeah
just great perspective and like you were really yourself there like i think a lot of people go on rogan
they're so caught up in like what that moment is that it's very easy to lose yourself yes you know
what i mean it's like you're sitting in front of the president and all you start to you start to
go is like oh i guess maybe i do share more views with you yeah right and it's like you gave pushback
he started talking about the jfk assassination and literally you just went joe joe joe joe joe joe i stopped listening a while ago
i couldn't believe you said that i couldn't believe it i was like this guy's got balls
or he has to pee bad and they did take a pee break i did i had to stay true g's up i know
you did two and a half hours with him before a pee break. You can go 30 minutes on this fucking podcast.
Did he have little water I drank?
Say what?
Did he have little water I was drinking?
I didn't notice.
Dude, the amount of focus I was going in there with, I was like, I cannot slip.
This guy, you know, sometimes you'll say some shit in like an argument or discussion or
whatever.
And as you're saying it, you're like, oh, there's a little hole in here.
I hope they don't catch it.
Yeah.
He catches it every fucking time.
Every fucking time.
That's why I was so excited for you to go. And I was talking to Kunal about this because I bumped into him last night catch it. Yeah. He catches it every fucking time. Every fucking time. That's why I was so excited for you to go.
And I was talking to Kunal about this because I bumped into him last night.
Okay.
Yeah.
And I was just like, I think that like you're not going to go.
A comedian is not going to go on Rogan's podcast and say anything about cancel culture,
wokeness, et cetera, that Rogan doesn't already know.
He's already spoken to the best experts on this yes
right he's spoken to people who get paid for a living just to think about this stuff right so
comedian coming on right you're not going to blow him away with that right but you have your specific
experience right that he doesn't know about he doesn't know it's like to be an indian american
dude right and what you feel do you feel oppressed do you feel offended by jokes etc like he can't
tell you how that feels and he probably hasn't interviewed people who have given that perspective right so you got to
be an expert yeah and it was this really cool thing when he was like listening and like really
curious and like you guys had this cool comedy discussion but you still had this nugget of
information that he didn't have and he was really curious about learning and you just executed
perfectly and you know i don't maybe i'm fluffing you right now but i just was so proud i've listened to the episode maybe two times i just keep scrolling back and forth
waiting for you guys to talk about me and no no and then uh but no seriously it's just it's so
good and i think everybody should go listen to it but like you were so good so calm so like
confident yeah i was i was nervous as fuck you didn't come across well i the things i i always
hate when i press too hard
when you try too hard that's the thing that i know i've done so i was like do not think that
just because so many people are listening you need to try too hard and push too hard to be funny
let the shit happen as it happens don't try to make yourself somebody you're not and just be
honest and authentic and talk and if you don't agree obviously you respect the fuck out of this
guy so you're not going to be disrespectful yeah so just to have a respectful like i don't know what
do you think about this anything you wish you did differently um there were certain things that like
i wish i had said little points i wish i had made but like overall i just i wish i didn't get him
canceled that's it that's the main thing so funny there it came out that there's this person who
gets paid to listen to every rogan podcast
for misinformation well that's the person that did the article really i thought those were different
people no no so alex patterson was the person on twitter was the person on twitter and that's the
person that kicked up the story in the first place so the main tweet is uh spotify's joe rogan and
comedian akash singh mock child sex abuse and claim it's, quote, fine for boys to have sex with adult women.
Bro, I think I got brought up in that same thing because they were going through past episodes.
And literally exactly what's going to happen is like, we call this, right?
It was like, first it's going to be racism.
The next it's going to be misogyny.
Your first, I was listening to your first Rogan because I thought it was so good.
Like to just like mentally be like, this is the mindset.
Yeah. There's a moment where you predict exactly what's going to happen like an hour and 28 minutes in you say they when your ideas are too good and big like to for them
to compete with they just make you radioactive and then you literally said they're just going
to make you racist oh i don't need to talk to joe rogan he's racist bro it's and then i say i think
transphobic and all these other things after that yeah uh miles we'll give you the clip because
shifty just cut up the clip you've seen everything you see it in comedy it's like oh i say i think transphobic and all these other things after that yeah uh miles we'll give you the clip because shifty just cut up the clip you've seen everything you see it in comedy
it's like oh i can't do that type of comedy so i'm gonna make that comedy radioactive so that
this is the only type of comedy that's allowed you know what i'm saying it doesn't have to be
comedy it could really be any kind of situation it's like you're just trying to carve out the
market share like oh that comedy's dirty that's edgy that's sexist that's bigoted cens. Censor it. But it's also like the same thing you see with the right versus the left.
There's a lot of people online from each side that want to censor the opinions of the other
people. Instead of having a better opinion, they want to shut that opinion off. And when they don't
have a better opinion, they just make you radioactive so they don't even have to talk to
you. Hey, Joe Rogan, you're racist. What do you mean? Let's talk about it. You're like,
I don't talk to racists. Ooh, that was clever what you did i went through that like the second i had
an opinion that went against the grain immediately i'm labeled as something that they don't even have
to have a dialogue with right they just shut you down boom yeah oh you're a white supremacist
exactly oh you're alt-right yes oh you're this you're that it's like a magic trick it only works
if you don't know what they're trying to do but what a job yeah like your job is
literally to sit there and cancel rogan yeah yeah that's the hardest part of that is not liking the
podcast and you're gonna yeah it's too many different people on there you're gonna start
liking it you're gonna start getting perspective yeah and then you're gonna have to quit your job
right or hate yourself it's like those people who are um what is it called the spies for
the mafia they work for yeah donnie brascoe whatever yeah yeah you're a policeman but you're
undercover yeah like or undercover but like i think what might happen with some of them is like
you actually start to like fall in love with these people i'm sure yeah you're with them all day i
think you can separate though the good ones can sometimes if you're
there long enough
you're gonna
I mean if you're
in it and like
you're learning
interpersonal shit
that I get it
but I think if
you're just observing
or like doing
something you think
is unethical
doesn't align with
your moral code
I think you can
remove yourself
yeah
what if you start
doing some of those
activities with them
I mean he's doing
13 he's the
Rogan is right here
in his ears for 13
hours a week
yeah
at some point if you're actively
listening you're going to be like this is pretty fucking interesting yeah you're at least going to
have more perspective yeah and you're going to go well he definitely isn't what everybody's saying
right low-key this could be the best possible thing that person quits their job it exposes
everything you just get another watchdog yeah they moved on they got promoted they will but
if those people keep quitting and say wait why, wait, why does this one job, which is the
easiest job in the world, why do these people keep quitting?
And then they'll do a think piece.
And it's like, I actually listened to the guy and I found out, wow, it's like a lot
of unique voices on here.
He's trying to have a good perspective.
Sometimes he's saying jokes, but a lot of things he's saying that are horrible or out
of context.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And to an eye opening thing, thank God he he asked me how I was doing up top. You like, how do you how do you open a joke thank god he he asked me how i was doing up top you
like how do you how do you open the joe rogan podcast when he asked me how i was doing i just
kind of laughed and i was like buddy how are you doing and that was like that was my genuine feeling
but it was such an interesting answer he said it's a relief because i've known this was out there and
i've wanted to apologize for it i've regretted it and now i just get to do that so now that that's
out of the way yep they're really scraping the bottom of the barrel.
It's freedom.
You're scraping for a joke conversation where we're laughing, talking about something.
Everybody, I heard at AM radio, the Tiki Wiki did this shit like three weeks ago.
Why is it worse when this exact scenario happens?
Male student, female teacher versus the other way around.
They literally pontificated why is it worse?
Because they all accepted that it was worse.
We all accept that it was worse we all accept
that it's worse not that one is good and then somebody said it was kind of a little like vivid
but he was like i think this is vivid but i think when it's a female like a young female she's the
one getting penetrated and that's why it seems so much more visceral for us yeah penetration is
always worth worse yeah because it's like female teacher to female student
and they're just like rubbing you know box lips yeah yeah
if they're just rubbing box lips bro yeah they both throw on the clap cleats
kick one leg up on a wall you know and just start clapping with that labia dude
teacher and the student.
I'm talking about a teacher that's in MBA.
There we go.
I'm talking about a teacher.
I'm talking about a teacher that might be 30 years old and a student might be 25.
That's what I'm talking about.
Might be 31.
They might be 31.
It doesn't matter what year they are, but I know that they're older.
And I know when them coochies start clapping, bro, if they don't have the right clap clean on,
they might slip, fall all over the place, Alex.
It's an episode of Whiplash.
Don't do that.
It's good.
You got Wipeout, whatever that fucking show is,
you know, where Asians can't do things.
You know the show, right?
Right you are, Ken.
Ninja Warrior.
That's NXT.
Oh, that's Ninja Warrior?
I don't like calling them all ninjas, buddy. I feel like that's a little bit more racist. That's a little racist, Ken. Ninja Warrior. That's NXT. Oh, that's Ninja Warrior? Yeah. I don't like calling them all ninjas, buddy.
I feel like that's a little bit more racist.
That's a little racist.
Yeah.
Alex, I expect better from you as a black man.
Who wipe out us on that?
Say what?
Who wipe out us Americans?
Oh, it's the American version of that.
Oh, okay, okay.
Ah.
Yeah.
So American Ninja Warrior is what?
You might have got me on that one.
You might have got me on that one okay um but you feel good response has been good it's funny with this person alex patterson that's
like watchdogging yeah is that every i think what will happen more likely is that every time that
there's a stretch or a reach to try to find something because ultimately the job is maintained
by finding shit to get outraged by and there's not a ton of stuff to get outraged by so things like this for example akash's tweet
where this person's trying to like put akash and joe in this awful conversation all the replies are
like lol that's hilarious like oh this is a reach or i think it's funny you should not take comedy
that serious or this account is joe rogan's best bits compiled yeah like all the comments i can't find
one comment this on twitter and people following like a very like uh i don't know like liberal
canceling kind of person it's great for joe yeah this is good yeah it's great literally paying
attention to him is what the cancelers don't do that is the problem that's what canceling is yeah
yeah it's like you don't know the full picture of
a human and you're getting them out of there off of the worst thing that they said in their life
right so with no context if you have someone who all of a sudden has context and they're holding
the uh what's it called the the the release button for the guillotine but now they have context
they're like do i really need to write this whole article he was clearly joking and 10 seconds later said it was bullshit yeah now if only someone did that for the news why don't we have one person who
just listens to the news 24-hour news cycle and just writes down every time they get somewhere
we got a teenager that tracks elon musk jet but we don't have an adult that's just watching cnn
and going this is bullshit yeah you should have one for all of
them cnn fox news msmc every single one when i was in middle school i had a teacher named mr davis
and he would give extra credit for when we found out he was wrong oh yeah we had one of those that's
cool yeah like he was like fact check me if i say some shit go read it and he's like sometimes i'm
gonna say some shit that's wrong that That's dope. Like on purpose.
Yeah.
To see if you got to pay attention.
To see what catches.
I mean, that's a little wild.
He's a wild boy.
This dude was a wild boy.
That's a little wild.
But I've never seen somebody control a room.
Like literally, I get comedy things from him.
Really?
The guy was an eighth grade American history teacher.
What race are you, huh?
The guy's just like, what?
Why is that relevant to history class so in american history very good
point uh but like i've learned more in american history than anybody else than than than anybody
else i've ever like taking classroom but like the way he controlled that classroom it was
unbelievable dude like everybody nobody spoke never cared to be anybody's friend never tried
to ingratiate himself to the class at all.
That's a good teacher. And he, I mean, the craziest kids, the kids who were like getting in fights,
all that kind of stuff, locked it. Dude, we weren't even allowed to enter the class until he
said everybody lined up outside the class. Stoic. I didn't even think I saw him smile the whole time.
It was absolutely, it was like, I was i was like oh my god you can control a room
just with like pace and intensity and what is it you wanted his respect like all the people in the
class i just learned that like silence is valuable yeah but why did y'all fall in line for him what
do you think it was i think that he didn't care if we liked him and i think that he cared uh i
think that we felt like it was there would be consequences for our actions and he wasn't to be played around with and he made class very uh easy to succeed in he told us the things he wanted us to write down
and he's like write this down write this and then kept talking write this down write this down
and all of us got this sense like as long as i'm here and i'm writing down the things that he's
telling me and i get tested on these things i can do well it's not like uh write an essay and then a teacher based on how much they kind of like you and your
fucking handwriting gives you this score yeah right it's literally it's literally like these
are the things that i want you to take away from my class and if you pay attention and do exactly
as i tell you you should be able to get a class in a he said everybody in this class starts out
with an a you're fucking it up yourself if you choose not to keep that.
Yeah.
And it was just like profound.
Eighth grade?
Why do I remember this guy?
Yeah.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second because, listen, I know investing can be very confusing.
And I know a lot of you guys are probably tired of not knowing what to invest in.
And you're hearing all these people making all this money investing.
And, listen, we got somebody who can help you out through all of this.
You can join the Red Panda Stock Club. OK, now, you know, Ian, from his coverage in Forbes,
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personal research and experience of the owner of the site and are attended as education material now let's get back to the show i think history is also a good like
class for that too i don't know i always had a lot of reverence for my history professors
or history teachers because there's like you're talking about something that's like it feels
consequential especially in like eighth grade when like nothing's kind of consequential right
and like you're talking about like great men and like history and all that shit i don't know i
feel like there's something about like the subject that like i
had one history teacher because she would teach us shit outside of the book like especially texas
history is like very hey we teach all the good shit only and she taught us like the magic bullet
theory for jfk she taught us about the reagan granada scandal i think it was and like the only
reason he got away with it is he shredded the documents and shredded the evidence and nixon didn't like she was like episode of rogan son this is 97 we didn't know about
conspiracy theories we didn't have cable internet even yeah and she's just teaching us to fucking
the shit that you're not yeah the high ultra bro not too much black communities you're like
fuck america dude let's go not too much but when it came to certain shit she'd be like hey here's
like a real piece of history. And then when you
get older, you're like, oh, she was actually teaching a shit
that wasn't brainwashing. That's cool.
That's dope. I wonder if she can get in trouble
for that. I don't know. If you go off
syllabus, can you get fired?
That was a public school? Yeah, it was a public school.
Isn't that interesting?
You teach what you think
is the proper history
and you get fired.
I think it was just a few nuggets.
A few times a year it happened.
But I remember all of them.
That's why a lot of teachers get in trouble when they try to teach Black Lives Matter because it's not in the curriculum.
But they're like, hey, this is a big current event going on.
And then parents come home outraged.
I think there was a kindergarten class doing a march.
And it was, like, just they had them with signs and pickets and all that stuff.
Just teaching them about marching, parents were outraged.
Like, this is not what our kids should be learning in school and shit like that.
But that's what the teacher was.
Now, what do you think about that?
I don't think.
I think especially kindergarten. It's too early. It's young, right? Yeah, it's young. But then it's, like, what age about that i don't think i think especially kindergarten it's
too it's young right but then it's like what age understand the full it depends what's on the sign
it's just finger painting like fucking turkeys and shit i'm like all right you know i mean
yeah but i even like uh thanksgiving and shit like that they still whitewash it yeah like that's the
tricky thing when you're teaching right when you're coming up with curriculum and the government has to do this, right?
There's like someone in the government that sits down like,
what do we need all fifth graders to know?
What do we need all sixth graders to know?
Five-year-olds, six-year-olds, like eight-year-olds, et cetera.
It's easy to go like at 19, we should learn all the nuance of history.
But as you're coming up, like am I going to teach a first grader
like who Columbus really was?
Yeah, I didn't want to know.
Fucking dude, they taught us kindergarten and kindergarten.
Thanksgiving was beautiful.
They came and shared the fucking corn or whatever.
That's great.
I love knowing that as a as a five year old.
See, I'd rather you just not teach it.
Don't teach me fake shit.
But how do I appreciate Thanksgiving?
You don't need to.
Yo, but here's the thing.
Like, it's not a day.
History is fake shit. That's the thing. That's a great point. And that's the thing like it's not a day history is fake shit that's
the thing that's a great point and that's the thing that's really hard for us all to digest
right we have to balance this this equation which is like how do we make people proud of our country
and everybody does that and teach them enough truth so you just start selecting the truth
right sure and it's like if you literally treat teach history like there's a reason why when
we grew up we went to the public school system in new york city you and i right we basically
learned the same things i don't know what the fuck happened in world war one because we weren't
boiling that world war two all of a sudden we the motherfucking stars right will smith and
independence day it was like revolutionary like war and then we don't need to learn about that and they're like some
shit happened in korea some shit happened in vietnam and then iraq yeah right we got saddam
yeah and it was like you just move it all around and low-key like i try to have like empathy for
the people who create these like systems and like structures and i'm just like what are they trying
to do and they're like what do we want to instill in these young kids? Patriotism. Yes, because the country actually functions better when you're proud of the place you're in.
You know, like Miles and I had a long debate about this yesterday, and he has a lot of great points.
But it's like one thing that I'm concerned about America is a lack of patriotism.
Yeah.
Like I want us to be more proud, and I want us to be more proud because I think when we're more proud of America, we take care of one another more.
Right?
It's like when you think America's shitty and you see a bunch of people living in fucking tents in L.A., you start going, oh, this is America.
It's a shitty place.
Yeah.
When you believe America is amazing and you see that, I think you start going, why the fuck are people living in tents here?
Yeah.
When we got billionaires flying rockets to the moon for fun. Yeah is america that shouldn't be happening exactly yeah so now i don't know if
that actually changes behavior i think people have been living in tents when in the 90s when
we were all gung-ho about america but i'd like to believe that there are things that we can do to
kind of instill that is there a way to do both which is hey we did some fucked up things but
every country's done some fucked up things.
That is a product of progress.
And America is still one of the greatest countries to live in, for sure.
I think that we should teach the fucked up things.
I should think that we should teach the nuance of American history at ages where they can digest it.
And I kind of agree with Al's point earlier, which is like, like low key kind of avoid certain things until they're ready to have the full discussion.
Like Thanksgiving,
teach the Thanksgiving,
teach the holiday.
This is just what we do on a holiday.
I don't need to know the fucking origin story.
Do a sex ads.
Go on that.
That's interesting.
Go on.
When you're kids,
it's like,
oh yeah,
mom and daddy love each other as a baby.
And then later on you're like,
oh yeah,
well they have sex. And later on you're like, this is what sex is. yeah, mom and daddy love each other as a baby. And then later on, you're like, oh, yeah, well, they have sex.
And later on, you're like, this is what sex is.
Yeah.
Then you start watching porn.
You're like, okay.
Those are the levels.
You know what I mean?
That's interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah. You don't need to teach them how the baby happens.
Teach them enough.
But don't teach a fake version of it.
Because now I grow up and I learn the real shit.
I don't want to know about no stork.
I don't like Santa.
And now I don't trust you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I don't think I'm going to do Santa, bro. This is this religious shit Charlamagne has talked about. I don't think I'm about no stork. I don't like Santa. And now I don't trust you. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't think I'm going to do Santa, bro.
This is this religious shit Charlamagne has talked about.
I don't think I'm going to do Santa.
Why?
Because he's stealing the shine from Jesus?
Yeah, that's why not that.
Nah, that's it, fam.
Nah, I don't like Santa.
You don't got Santa on your neck?
You know what I'm saying?
I don't want to lie to my kids.
Yeah, Mark's talked about this.
One time he was like, yo, my little cousin asked about, he lives in New York City.
Oh, do you get to see the Ninja Turtles, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly. You have a family in New York City? No, about, he lives in New York City. Oh, do you get to see the Ninja Turtles, right?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
You have a family in New York City?
No, no, he lives in New York.
His little cousin was like, oh, you see the Ninja Turtles.
Oh, Mark would have a whole family member here and not introduce us, right?
Piece of shit.
You know my second cousin?
And the kid said, you know the Ninja Turtles.
You live in New York.
He's what, five maybe?
And Mark said they don't exist?
And Mark just didn't answer the question.
No, that's not true.
That's not true.
He said, hey, have you seen splinter and i said no i haven't because you know apparently
from what i've seen he lives in the sewers and i don't go in the sewers so i don't know
okay that's truthful so i didn't lie yeah you didn't lie but i don't want to perpetuate the
idea like yo there's ninja turtles running around yeah there's splinter some other uncle might have
been like oh yeah i saw him yesterday he said be a good boy. You're such an idiot, dude. What a fucking dumb standard.
Let a kid be a kid, bro.
Can a kid have an imagination?
You don't want him to exercise his imagination?
But it's not his imagination.
Someone told him to believe it.
You watch Disney movies growing up your entire life, bro.
I didn't believe it was real.
What?
You didn't believe it was real?
No.
Son, I remember my brother packing a bag because he was about to go live with the Power Rangers
because one of his friends told him that shit.
I remember I went into his room. He's packing sneakers and all that shit i'm like
what are you doing he goes yo power rangers picking us up tonight i gotta pack let's go
like he 100 believe that that shit was real i believe that that shit was real dude
hell yeah i used to watch dragon ball z and i swear to god i made a fireball in my hand
when i was younger yeah i swear to god dude all of it. You gotta believe in some of it.
Exactly.
And I don't think you should
squash a kid's belief,
but I don't think you should
perpetuate the belief
and then have to lie to him
or tell him the truth later
and be like,
yo, that Santa show was mine.
Yo, kids don't care.
What a stupid Santa take.
Now he's putting hairs
and well, you know,
I don't know.
I felt annoyed when I found out
Santa wasn't real
and I was like,
yo, Santa real?
Yo, fam,
you worship the figures.
The kids worship the gifts.
So once kids find out Santa ain't real
and they realize they still get gifts,
they're like, I don't give a fuck about that fat motherfucker.
I still get presents from mom and dad.
That's my point.
Because I can kiss up to mom and dad.
That's my point.
I can't kiss up to Santa.
So why would I lie to them?
You're jealous.
Because they want to believe.
He made jealous this guy.
Keep going.
Son, he jealous of Santa
because he's going to be a parent.
He wants to have a lot of kids probably.
He's going to be a great father
outside of this.
But the kid's going to be like,
Santa's coming to give me gifts.
He's going to be like this.
Fat fuck.
Also, old truthful ass kid in school,
conspiracy theory ass.
I was that kid.
Fucking five-year-old
telling all the other kids,
oh yeah, Transformers don't exist.
That Santa motherfucker lies.
You're going to have Alex Jones as a kid
that's gonna be your kid
my brother told me
Santa's not real
when I was like 5 years old
shattered my whole shit
and then I tried to
pass on that misery
cause I was miserable
Santa's literally a conspiracy
if you teach your kids
Santa you're teaching
them a conspiracy
okay
so you're a kid
what's the conspiracy
you're a kid
what's the conspiracy
there's a man
that flies around
with elves
in the North Pole
that comes into your house
and goes through a chimney
even though you live in New York.
You don't even have a chimney.
You don't have a chimney.
Where does he come in?
That's a story.
How does he get in your house?
He takes the elevator?
What did the doorman say?
Oh, yeah, you can go up.
Are you thinking you're the first person that figured out that it's hard to be Santa Claus
in a city?
Yeah, I know.
That's my boy.
Do you see him just break his nail?
Like, how does he get in?
Yeah, no shit.
We know it's hard for him to get in.
So how are we going to light our day?
The window.
The window is easier than a chimney.
You don't think he's stoked to be in the city?
He's like, thank God I'm not in the fucking suburbs.
I get to go in the door.
I buzz downstairs.
Like, delivery.
What are you going to tell your kid when he goes, oh, man,
like, how come Santa gives me way better presents than my poor friend?
The Jews.
Yeah, the Jews.
I don't ask.
I don't ask.
I'm worried about my presents.
You think we compete in presents, yo?
I'm playing video games at my
what kind of charitable
ass kid do you think
you're gonna ask
what kind of asshole
kid do you think
is going to school
with all the presents
like what y'all
poor motherfuckers
got nothing
like come on bro
you didn't wonder
that as a kid
your poor friends
got shit
they got one pair of shoes
no I was the poor friend
no of course
and I had Jewish friends so it's like they didn't get nothing well no they got eight gifts they didn't really get shit That was the poor friend. No, of course.
And I had Jewish friends,
so it's like they didn't get nothing.
Well, no, they got eight gifts.
They didn't really get shit. Nah, but they got shit.
How come shit?
And Jews spread it out.
They give you one sneaker on one day,
the other sneaker on the other day.
Oh, there's some laces.
Yo, real talk,
if you wanted to end anti-Semitism
and y'all went hard body on Hanukkah gifts,
that would be a big, big step in the right direction.
I want to bring Hanukkah back, but yeah, you guys won on Christmas. Because if you body on Hanukkah gifts, that would be a big step in the right direction. I want to bring Hanukkah back,
but yeah, you guys want on Christmas.
Because if you can make Hanukkah mainstream,
all you got to do is eight fire gifts
and then all of a sudden,
slowly we're all going to be like,
yeah, I think we need to celebrate Hanukkah,
not Christmas.
If you're a neutral party like myself,
like these two,
why the fuck would we celebrate Hanukkah?
Neutral parties always go towards Christmas, dude.
Because it's gifts.
Hanukkah's fucking dreidels, dog.
Anybody doing that?
And it takes too long. It's like, dreidels, dog. Anybody doing that? Chocolate coins.
And it takes too long.
It's like, why are we doing this one at a time?
Like, come on, come on, come on.
Oh, that's right.
You bust a fat nut on Christmas.
Yes.
It's a love bomb.
Oh, yeah.
Waking up early.
Remember going to sleep the night before?
Like, oh, I'm about to get everything.
I don't remember that.
Yo, we got to throw a dub at Christmas.
No, you know what they have on Christmas Eve?
Do we?
You know what they have on Christmas Eve?
We should focus on getting gifts for other people. Also that. Yeah, I think once he gets gifts at Christmas. No, you know what they have on Christmas Eve? Do we? You know what they have on Christmas Eve? Or should he focus on getting gifts for other people?
Also that.
Yeah, I think once he gets gifts.
No, no, no.
Dove Christmas is we all just tell him all the nice things we did for him throughout the year.
That's a good ass point.
Here's how we save you money.
Yeah.
Are you doing Tooth Fairy?
Say again?
Are you going to do Tooth Fairy?
Oh, with my children?
Yeah.
I don't understand the... I'm doing all of my children? Yeah. I don't understand the...
I'm doing all of it, bro.
But I don't understand what that does.
I don't know if I ever did Tooth Fairy with my family.
I don't know if I ever did that.
My parents put money under the pillow in the middle of the afternoon.
And they were like, look what the Tooth Fairy left you.
It was like six bucks.
Which I was like, this is amazing.
But I was like, there's no Tooth Fairy.
And then they said, yes, there is.
Then I picked up the pillow.
They forgot the fucking tooth.
And I was like a tr's no Tooth Fairy. And then they said, yes, there is. Then I picked up the pillow. They forgot the fucking tooth. And I was like a toother about that shit.
I like marched to the room.
I was like, the tooth is still there.
Explain that.
That's so good.
That's the thing, because immigrant parents don't have the same tradition.
It's all new to them, dude.
They didn't know.
My dad might have told me Santa wasn't real.
You and your parents found out about To fairy same day same exact same exact day and
there was no google and shit back in the day so they had to call like their whitest friend
and they were like yo how the fuck does this work i don't think my mom i don't know like
that my mom's scottish so like that tooth fairy is working like like even in into adulthood that
motherfucker is busy right overtime weekends the whole shit
and i remember once uh i lost a tooth and uh my mom just handed me money like she was like i'm
done with this shit like she just handed me a five dollar bill and i gave her the tooth
and then we just went our separate race immigrants bro business transactions they don't got time for
that they don't let's work let's make
a dream yeah they came from way worse so they're like whatever take the money get the fuck out my
face i got work to do yeah i think she probably saved that tooth for herself she's like i'll give
you 10 bucks if i can put that in my lower jaw that'd be great
parents be losing teeth boy my dad is dad is fucked. What? Yeah.
Nothing, dude.
They're gone.
I bought him new ones.
Yeah.
You haven't bought your parents teeth yet?
Dentures.
No, your parents aren't old enough yet.
62?
When you're in your mid-30s, you start buying teeth. Yeah.
No, I bought a new set, but we got a fake set for the wedding.
Right.
So the fake set completely just shattered in Mexico and he's just been living
with no teeth.
How?
How did it shatter?
Say what?
How did it shatter?
My dad don't know
how to bite with the new teeth yet.
Tortilla?
Definitely not tortilla.
I don't think they have
hard enough food to shatter.
A tostada maybe.
Maybe that.
But like yeah,
my mom was like,
yeah,
all the teeth kind of fell out
and I was like,
what?
And they're like,
yeah,
yeah,
the temporary ones.
You got warranty
on them things or what?
Oh no,
no,
we're going to do okay.
We're going to get him the proper teeth.
The proper teeth that he deserves.
Yeah.
Because you can't have your parents with no teeth.
It looks like you don't take care of them.
I think we spoke about this before.
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
But at what age, though?
Like, if they're like 100, can you be like...
They got to have full teeth.
At 100?
100%.
If they're alive, they got to have full dentures.
Yeah, it's just dentures.
It's not natural teeth.
It's dentures.
Yeah.
106 years old, wheelchair, frail.
You're going to let your mom at 106 walk around with dentures?
Full teeth.
The tricky thing with my dad is that his memory is gone, so he can't do the dentures.
Oh.
Because you have to maintain them?
He'll just forget.
Yeah.
He just won't put them in.
They'll fall out.
He'll be like, fuck this.
I mean, my dad woke up every single day in Mexico for the last month not knowing where the fuck he was right right right think about that yeah that's gnarly yeah
like they lived in mexico for a month and every morning he'd wake up and just hear spanish and
he'd be like what the fuck is going on am i in brooklyn what the hell happened they'd go for a
walk he's like where the fuck are we go to sleep the next morning all over again. Groundhog Day, 30 days. That's kind of wild.
Real talk, yeah.
That's a little wild.
Kind of cool, though.
Yeah.
The excitement of traveling, like, every day.
You think your mom just took him to the same place over and over and over because she liked it?
And he was like, you've never been here.
Honestly, I could see her doing that.
Yeah.
It's not a bad move.
Yeah, I could really see her.
Like, if she found one taco joint that she loved, you just take him every day and be like we haven't had these in the country and every day
he'll be like these are fantastic yeah that's a wonderful day 100 just one tooth at a time
falling out of his mouth she's taking him right back to the same goddamn spot
you just follow the teeth there, bro. Perfect. It's like Hansel and Gretel.
Immigrants.
You gots to love them.
Okay, let's talk about some more immigrant drama.
More shit with Eileen Gu.
Yeah.
So Eileen Gu, I think we had spoken about this last week.
Patreon, yeah. Last week, Patreon, okay.
Eileen Gu has won gold in freestyle skiing.
Eileen Gu, born in America, raised in America, trained in America.
Yes.
Half Chinese.
Family moves, I think, when she's how old to China?
Actually, I don't even know if they went.
She plans on going to Stanford College here.
Yeah.
But in order to compete for China, she has to be a Chinese citizen.
And China doesn't allow dual citizenship.
Oh, really?
Yeah, this is where it gets a little interesting.
China's a baller, bro.
But she won't answer the question.
That's just kind of funny.
Red Bull let it slip.
Go, go, go.
Red Bull basically said that they're her main sponsor, that she gave up her citizenship.
And then reporters try to confirm that.
They scrub the convo.
So it's still not clear where there's another Chinese-American, Zhu Yi, who's being blasted by the entire country.
This is the figure skater.
When you get blasted by China, that's times 500 million people on Weibo.
Yeah, because that Zhu Yi didn't fucking win gold.
This girl won gold.
What I think, what is annoying about this whole situation is uh there's a couple
things one is like she one won't address the whole citizenship thing but also she won't just admit
that she got paid yeah just like stop oh i care about my heritage and this is all about embracing
my hair shut the fuck up you or your dad got a boatload of money okay you got tons of fucking
money i know her father i think was
offered some job there i believe so i gotta double check that but yeah i'm pretty sure he's like an
ai guy so there might be some sort of like thing where you had to accept but you got paid a shit
ton of money you took that fucking money you announced your citizenship okay you were raised
trained in the united states of america you plan on coming back to school here so don't give me
this oh i love my heritage.
Well, stay there.
You love it so much.
It's right there.
You're competing for them.
Right?
You won gold for them.
Why do you want to come back here?
Clearly, you love something else over here,
but we're not giving that boatload of money
that they're giving you,
or they're giving your family or something else like that.
But this is a fucking money play.
There's no way in fucking hell
that anybody would choose China over america ever unless they
got paid a shitload of money for anything yes i don't care what you want to do you want to run
around on a fucking thatched roof you can find one in america to run around on but what if they
gave her some other deal for example i don't know like if there's like a sponsorship thing so it's
not direct money but it's like hey you're gonna be the biggest star in china or you can be like
that's money 10 stars it's obvious and also, you're going to be the biggest star in China or you can be like one of 10 stars.
That's obvious.
And also, but here's the thing.
In fairness, how much could she make being a freestyle skier in America?
Like we give them all these props during the Olympics, but they're not making besides a few people like the Sean White.
She's cute.
She can make money.
She's a Victoria's Secret.
She got signed by Victoria's Secret.
So she's going to have her own other career.
She'd make great sponsorship money.
100%.
She'd make great sponsorship money, 100%. She'd make great sponsorship money, 100%.
I'm sure that they're paying her family
or they're paying her far more money.
Far more.
And I get that you're doing that.
My point is, don't skirt around
answering the question about citizenship
and then don't act like this is an embracement
of your heritage.
Because it's not that.
You're embracing money,
which you probably learned to do in America. Right? put that shit in you we sure love some fucking money though
doesn't she have to pretend it's about love of culture yeah but i'm gonna call you out if you're
being fraudulent enough that's all i think yeah i i i think it is a money play but also it could
also be she just wants to be a superstar and she knows that over there she's going to be a superstar they idolize her look more yeah like she just she gave up american citizenship to come over here so
they're gonna probably acknowledge that well still like she could play for both teams yeah they're
gonna prop her up because they're gonna be like hey others do the same shit so it's like she wants
to be a superstar it might not just be the money it's i hear you're saying like she wants that
fame and maybe cares about that fame yeah she won't be she wants to be an idol
where here she wouldn't be that big what's that plus money like because it seems like you're
suggesting that they're paying her directly like yo come compete director indirect this is a
financial gain that's what this is about because you're still coming back here to go to college
like if you love your heritage and everything so much you just love the lifestyle in china go get
educated there clearly they have you know great institutions they're making a lot of engineers say again
she's half chinese half well now she's 100 chinese right she's chinese citizen yeah but i mean she
could like both of her heritage my feeling is you're not chinese yeah you're not indian i'm
not scottish we are american that's what the fuck we are now i know you identify certain ways but
let me just make the point i'm trying to make. When it comes to the Olympics,
you shouldn't even be allowed to
do that bullshit where you go
compete for your
heritage's country, like
where your mom is from or something like that.
I know Americans do that when they're not good
enough to play for the American team, right?
That's valid. I'm okay with that. I'm not
okay with that. Stop stealing
a fucking position on that team from someone who actually is raised, born, trained in that country.
That's fair.
You're stealing their opportunity.
That's fair.
You had so much more privilege training in America.
You had so much more privilege growing up here with the institutions, the education, even within your field.
And you're stealing it from someone who actually represents their country.
What if they don't have an athlete in that sport?
Say again?
What if they don't have an athlete in that sport? Then again? What if they don't have an athlete in that sport?
Then they shouldn't compete in it.
Even though you can be Jamaican? Sorry.
If they don't have an athlete in it and it doesn't
reflect the culture at all, then you're just finding
a way to get into Olympics on a caveat.
If they don't care about it, it's not worth it, then
no. You're not in. What about the ballplayers
who were playing in their country
started balling out in their country and then
America took them for the NBA.
NBA is different.
That's professional.
Olympics is not professional.
Olympics, they go back to play for their country.
So instead of playing for the USA team,
they play for...
They started playing in their country.
Yeah, so you're okay with that.
If they started to play in their country...
If they were born, raised, and trained in your country,
that's where you should play.
Okay.
100%.
Okay.
If you were born, raised,
or at least it's starting there, like the formative yeah i know messi technically went over to barcelona at
age fucking 13 or something like that but at least in his beginning years that's where he's getting
trained in the sport right and putting that time if you lived your whole life as one citizen and
then you suddenly want to go play as another citizen for the olympics he's saying i's fucked
up and that doesn't make sense you're stealing a a job from them. The Eileen Gu point, if I went and did some shit for India,
I would live in India afterward for at least a long time,
at least a while.
What if you split the year up?
So little New York, Florida tax break.
No, split the year up.
China not letting you split the citizenship up.
China, no.
Another country.
But I'm saying like if you're a Jamaican chick living in Canada,
you learn how to curl.
You're pretty good at curling.
You can't make the Canadian team, but you have Jamaican citizenship.
Jamaica doesn't have a curling team.
And you hit them up, go, yo, let me curl for you guys.
You don't even have anyone going.
Let me just pop in.
That's also...
I'm okay with that.
That's also different, though.
No, that's different because you're not taking anything from anybody else.
You're not taking a job.
You're still Jamaican.
Yeah, but it's like a fake way of getting into...
No, but you might inspire the sport to that country.
And you're still a Jamaican in Canada.
That's what she's saying is going to happen in China.
Like, you're being treated as a Jamaican. You know what I mean? Like, you're Canadian, but, like, you're And you're still a Jamaican in Canada. That's what she's saying is going to happen in China. You're being treated as a Jamaican.
You know what I mean?
You're Canadian, but you're still looked at as a black chick in Canada.
Doug is so in love with this girl, dude.
Yeah, I don't know.
Defending her at every turn.
I don't know, because now, what about the foreign players who come here to play in the
NBA?
They're taking possible positions from American basketball players.
NBA is professional.
Professional is different.
Olympics is not professional.
That's the distinction I make.
For professional, go ball in China, do all those things.
But Olympics is not professional. Because Olympics is not. It's the distinction i make for professional go ball in china do all those things but olympics is not professional because olympics is not is it's supposed to be for country
not for self professional sports self yeah i don't really give a fuck luca donch is generally
give a fuck of the matter i'm all about professional leagues like i love it when
nba players go play in turkey china and get your money dude like and expand the game go there do
that like that's awesome but when it comes for country
like i think that you have to represent a country in order for represent the country you have to
know what you're representing yeah like if you spent no time there you don't have any kind of
cultural impulse from that country you don't even know your own fucking national anthem
like i'll be honest i don't know the scottish national anthem joke right uh yeah god save the
queen but like i don't know do you know the indian national anthem
so it's like if we don't even know the fucking anthem dude who are we to go say we're representing
the country now identity wise you can you you cannot hide the fact that you're indian and proud
of all these things that are way more important than a stupid anthem there are americans that
probably don't know it but like it's cap if you're like i feel like i need to represent this thing no you
don't can you just take advantage i didn't for who somebody's farting i smell i farted many times
how dare you blame me how dare you let it smell too that's even more disrespectful because you
could have stopped but he was angry when i'm angry i can't i can only do one or two things right it's
like it was impossible for me to formulate these arguments and hold in the smell of a fart yeah but he was angry. He was angry. When I'm angry, I can only do one or two things, right? It's like,
it was impossible
for me to formulate these arguments
and hold in the smell of a fart.
Yeah.
Are you really okay?
Have you smelled your own farts, dude?
Yeah, but I say something
like a gentleman.
What do you want me to do?
Stop talking about Eileen Gu
for a second?
Yes, exactly.
Real quick, I farted.
Sorry.
Keep going.
All right, fair enough.
I'll do that in the future.
Usually it's loud enough, dude.
Shit.
It was the second one. I had to say something because it was the second one it's made in my coat i
feel it on the back of my coat coming up my neck the first one i let go yeah and it was so it's so
strong i was like it has to be from the person closest to me can i tell you something geographically
speaking i'm wearing car hearts just like a work pant i thought it would keep it in mostly and it's
not keeping it in at all dude i I think it's like a slow release.
It is a slow...
Dude, literally, I can feel it coming out through the ankle.
I can see the fumes.
It's like summer in Texas.
It's just fucking...
It's just hovering, right?
I almost put the sock over the pants and just kind of locked it in.
Do you have a biohazard suit?
Yeah, exactly.
I wish you did.
I should have done that.
Yeah.
I'll do that next time.
I appreciate that.
Thank you.
Does it smell that bad?
Yeah, it really does.
I thought I was getting used to it. Yeah. You know know sometimes you get used to it then i inhale i was like nah
that shit is fucking smelling so i feel like i've raised the the temperature in the room
how does it taste bro you have to get warm spicy bro that's what i thought was on mine for a second
so close to me i was like god damn that must have been me so so what do we do what is the
uh what's wrong with the jamaican chick gonna play going to curl that's the only thing i don't agree
with like are you spending time in jamaica like how connected are you to the culture she wants
to be in the olympics yeah but they don't have a team anyway you want to be in the olympics
fucking work at it well she's currently she's pretty good no pretty good doesn't get you to
the olympics in jamaica it does but if she goes there and wins all right fine you know what i'm
gonna 23 and meet and find out that i'm actually part ethiopian and i'm gonna go to ethiopia and
i'm like hey guys i'd like to be a downhill skier do you guys have anybody going that's amazing
you still wouldn't do good you don't think i'd cut through the fucking wind with this nose dude
are you kidding me i would body these motherfuckers. That shit is way too down. Son, downhill skiing. I need to be way down. We got to go down.
Right?
Downhill skiing is just who is willing to kill themselves more.
Oh, yeah.
That's it.
Yeah, you're not.
I am not.
You're very risk-averse.
You're right.
I am risk-averse when it comes to...
I don't even like heights.
I'd be up there like, yeah, this is stupid, bro.
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah, where's the short track speed skating or something like that?
Oh, son, you get terrified on my balcony.
Remember back then?
Yeah, I don't fuck with that.
Also, it looks like Ethiopia has a downhill ski team.
Holy shit.
God damn it.
Let's go.
There's no way.
Look at them light-skinned-ass Ethiopians.
Let's go.
Killing it.
So, yeah, I'm like, if there's no sport and you want to go to another country.
But people, look, make everything look bad.
And you have a real account of the country.
I'm going to keep it a buck.
Dreadlocks make everything look bad.
Right?
Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say.
Dreadlocks and a ski helmet is amazing.
I'm telling you.
Give me some top.
Give me some top.
Yeah.
Do the Jamaican girl that wants to go do it for Jamaica?
That's hypothetical.
I don't know if that's true.
I'm just saying it's like you're Canadian, dude.
You were taught this game in Canada, right?
You were trained by Canadians to be good at it.
Everything about you and your connectivity to this game is Canadian, right? Now, a different one is, let's say, for example,
you are Jamaican or you're Argentine or you're Brazilian, but you grew up in America,
but everything about you playing soccer is Argentine or Brazilian. America hasn't reinforced
your love of soccer.ica hasn't done anything
to help you flourish you spent your summers doing these brazilian soccer camps and every your
families and telling you guys like everything about you loving soccer is culturally brazilian
or argentine to me that's a better argument but you just taking some canadian shit and being like
yo let me go to the olympics i'm kind. Jamaica, you got this? That's cheating, bro.
Be good enough to be on that fucking Canadian team.
No, I don't know.
Why?
Because I'm like, you can inspire. Why should you have an advantage just because your parents were born somewhere else?
Because you can inspire people in Jamaica.
You inspire those new people.
But you did nothing.
But you're not doing it to inspire.
You do it because you want to go to the Olympics.
But there's still a benefit that comes from it.
Even if you're being selfish, you might still inspire a lot of new people.
And then you're still competing against.
How the fuck they going to curl in Jamaica? what are y'all talking about right now they bobsled in
jamaica do they yeah bro i've seen the movie they didn't finish the race but they walked that
killed themselves almost trying to bobsled sonka you dead man yeah and you can get jamaica a silver
medal or something which they'd be stoked on yeah they
don't have that many people in the winter olympics so it's like oh shit we got someone on the medal
that's just like not good enough to make the gold medal team which i assume is canadian yeah but you
think that you're good enough to win it all yeah for jamaica even though you're doing it with other
people who haven't done it so you compete against those guys and you lose. Big deal. Who give a fuck?
Yo, get better, yo.
Yo.
When did we become socialists
on this fucking podcast?
Just saying.
We're just going to run
to another country
and then take advantage
of their opportunity?
Fuck all that, bro.
Fuck all that.
That's what my parents did, bro.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what all of our parents did.
Yeah, exactly.
But at least they lived there.
Do you know what I mean?
They made a life.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
They did give up their citizenship
and then stay there. They didn't go back. That's true. They did give up their citizenship and then stay there.
They didn't go back.
They didn't get American citizenship and then go back.
Exactly, because they knew what time it was.
Son, this is bad for America.
That's why they did it. That's why they gave her
the bag.
They gave her the bag because they're like, oh, she's willing to
turn her back on America.
America must not be that great. It's a great
play. However much money they promised her was worth every be that great it's a great play however much money they
promised her was worth every single penny it was a brilliant play by china it's a pr move people
are willing to turn their back on america for this other country that other country must be more lit
and the fact that we let that happen and we're letting her get off with this whole i'm just
embracing my culture fuck you are yeah fuck you are she's doing damage to amer, she is. And she want to come back and get educated here at Stanford.
I bet they got an institution over there.
Embrace your heritage over there.
Yeah.
Embrace the fuck out of it.
Yeah.
That's a good point.
100%.
I don't like this Eileen Gu.
I don't like her.
Dove, I know you love her.
I'm sorry.
I mean, she's hot.
Objectively hot.
Objectively hot.
Yeah.
And that's the American side that makes makes it hot Mix with that fucking Chinese side
Yeah
That's a pretty god damn
Good combination
Mix for us
Yo
We gotta come together
America and China
We make some beautiful people
Oh yeah
That's true
PB&J
That's us
PB&J
Wait what does that mean
Peanut butter and jelly dude
Peanut butter's not that good
Jelly's not that good
You mix them
You got a good little sandwich
Nah peanut butter's delicious
And which one are we peanut butter or jerry
which one are we we're peanut butter peanut butter peanut butter we are peanut butter
the peanut butter made in america georgia washington carver damn right black history
month black dude yeah yeah yeah china pissed off about that. Talk to me. What do they hate?
You know what I mean?
Black people having freedom, probably.
Probably.
Probably.
Probably.
They don't like their people having freedom.
Yeah, yeah.
That's true.
They don't like black people.
You think black people having freedom?
That's a double negative for them.
That is a good ass point.
And I never seen Asian people fucking with jelly.
They got bean paste.
Son, what is that bean paste?
Yo, fuck out of here with your peanut butter and
bean paste sandwich ain't nobody want that dorks man yeah get some jerry that's a dessert
yeah red bean put that shit on some sourdough toast yeah get the fuck out of here bro speaking
of being a powerful asian americans you saw nathan chen yo shouts and this This the guy right here dog This dude killed that shit Doing a real man sport
Yeah
Look at this
Lutz
Woo
Sao Cao
Some light
Some light
Triple toe loop
Yeah
So he's killing this whole shit
He's
I think he's Chinese
Like Chinese American
No no he's American
Yeah
He's American
Yeah
Fuck yeah
He's Chinese dog No no he's American bro That's Fuck yeah! He's Chinese, though.
No, no.
He's American, bro.
That's an American-ass kid.
Look at him.
Yeah, handsome kid.
Pure sex, that guy.
Yeah, pure sex.
Pure sex.
And then his score came in.
He was, I think, one of the last people.
Two Japanese people before him in the rankings.
Oh, shit.
That was perfect, dude.
You're just skipping through the most important parts?
I'm about to show you the score.
I'm going to show you the score.
Yeah.
Look at that. You think you got that? That's a? I'm about to show you the score. I'm going to show you the score. Yeah. Look at that.
You think you got that?
That's a quadruple right there.
I've done a triple axel.
Have you really?
Yeah.
No, you didn't.
I've done a triple axel.
No, you didn't.
So go fuck off.
I've done a triple axel.
You have it.
When I went ice skating, I had a fucking triple axel.
Do it right now.
I need ice.
Nah, you can do it right now.
No, you need the speed.
You can't even do a double standing up.
I can do a double standing up.
Do an axle.
Do one axle.
Do a one 360?
I think you do one.
No, it's a double.
It's a double.
No.
You didn't even do it a whole way.
270.
I didn't get it.
That was 270.
You landed short and spun it.
No, you didn't.
You ain't landed.
I landed short and spun it.
No, you didn't.
You did it.
360. Come on. Yeah, 360. No, you didn't. You didn't. You want me to do it how we actually do it? 360.
Come on.
Yeah, yeah.
Hit a 540.
Hit a one and a half axle.
Yeah, yeah.
You got it.
You got it.
See, he said it.
540.
540.
Suck dick.
Now imagine.
You're not landing it.
Now imagine.
I was going back.
I didn't land it?
No.
I did.
No, you got to stand up.
And then you got to go like this at the end of it like I said
You gotta finish it like gymnastics I gotta get one of these at the end for America for America you got
You can't.
I got Tim's on.
Tim's my ass.
There's like 20 pounds.
Do a 360. You can't do it. Do a 360. You can't do it.
Do a 360. You can't do it.
I got Tim's on. You can't do a 360 in Tim's?
No. Why?
Send me the 30 pounds on my feet, bro.
You don't want to jump off with a white. You're going to lose a jump off to a white man
during black history.
Every black person
understand I got Timbs up.
Every black person knows that you can fight in Timbs,
you can run in Timbs, and you can jump in Timbs.
You can stomp.
Stomp a landing.
Stomp a 360. You can't do one 360.
It might help you land, bro.
Black guys can't jump. They're not jumpers.
We're not jumpers.
We're not jumpers.
You guys are spinners. They're not spiners. We're not jumpers. You guys are spinners.
They're not spinners, bro.
Just do a 360.
Come on, that's what I'm talking about.
Watch that thing about to drop, Al.
Play the Black National Anthem.
This is the Black National Anthem.
Okay, here we go.
That's 360. Do 540.
Do 540. Now do 540.
Now do 540.
Now do 540.
Okay, let's see 540 then.
Let's see 540 then when you fall and bust your
fucking head on a corner.
Nope, didn't stick it.
Fell back like a bum.
Didn't stick it. Fell back like a bum.
Fell back like a bum. You fell back like a bum. It fell back like a bum.
You can't even stick a land in.
Bro, you can't even stick a land in.
Also, he was using his arms hella.
That's technique.
I didn't know you were supposed to use your arms.
That shit ain't even on me.
I was ready to shit all over Al,
I was ready to shit all over Al,
I was ready to shit all over Al
and then he used the arms
and that centripetal force was fucking amazing
turn it to a helicopter real quick
suck
dick
see what happens
see what happens
but keep it a buck right there when I found out how to use the arms.
I stuck that landing, bro.
Like that bitch who broke her ankle in the gymnastics.
Do you remember her?
No.
The gymnastics bitch from America.
She broke her ankle, but she landed it.
Oh, Carrie Strug.
That one.
Yeah.
Oh, I thought you were talking about Nancy Kerrigan.
I honestly kept thinking of that, too.
But she didn't break it. Something on you will be broken by today my neck hurts i already stressed my neck so winded
and i'm fucking windy bro holy shit yeah we need some we need some ac my farts came out because i
took my jacket off oh god i tied tie on my fart with the jump.
I think that helps you.
A little bit more elevation.
A little boost.
I literally, that last one, I farted when I jumped.
And low-key, that's why I spun so well.
I like that you have to take off your jacket to get that last one.
Nah, because when I spin, it catches.
I got Tibs on, bro.
Say what?
Tibs help you jump, bro.
Fuck out of here.
They do help you jump.
Yeah.
Way better than these.
Yeah.
Who's ever jumped in those? Nobody ever jumped in these, bro. Dr. J jumping for the fucking free throw line. He did it. jump. Yeah way better than these. Yeah, who's ever jumped in those nobody ever checked in these
But I think J jumping for the fucking free throw line. He did it Jays. I
Mean he would wear those
Yeah to play basketball these were the only sneakers that existed exactly and they yeah, actually dr. J didn't wear these he wore Tim's
He did wear Tim's
only in February.
Did they even have Black History Month back then?
Nah.
When did they start?
When did we get it?
Yeah.
I gotta look that up.
That's a good ass question.
It had to be before MLK Day.
Otherwise, it would have definitely done them shits on the same day.
Nah, I think it's probably after MLK Day.
Oh, 1970.
1970.
MLK Day was Reagan.
Oh, shit.
It was January 2nd to February 28th,
1970.
Took away a month.
Fuck out of here.
Y'all lost a month, bro.
Step it up.
Step it up.
They're really three-fifths of your history.
Ain't that fucking crazy?
That's crazy.
Gerald Ford is the one I think
that first recognized as president.
That was 1976. Shout out to Gerald up shout out to gerald bro you like your car
shit down yeah what are they george washington carver that shit down jesus that's crazy but
anyway shout out nathan chen bro spun that whole shit yo got the highest score ever american
nathan chen with the highest score ever shout out to america that's what i'm talking about my boy
let's go nathan yup did it wow body everybody else That's what I'm talking about, my boy. Let's go, Nathan. Yup, did it.
Wow, bodied everybody else.
That's what I'm talking about. Five points higher.
Sluts in Japan.
They can't fucks with us, bro.
Oh, so we do it to them. They just get
a little payback. What you mean?
He's born and raised here. Yeah, but you still
they see their own right now.
So you don't think they're looking at that as like
nah, you traitor. Nah, I think so. they're looking at that as like, nah, you traitor.
Nah.
I think so.
They're looking at his parents like that maybe.
Nah.
Right?
His parents maybe they see that,
but that motherfucker,
don't ever punish the sons for the sins of the father, Al.
Damn.
Yeah.
That's a hero, dog.
He's a hero, national hero.
Yeah.
I'm like this fucking Eileen Gu.
That's the first goal we got, right?
First goal. Could have been Eileen Gu. That's the first goal we got, right? First goal.
Could have been Eileen Gu.
Could have been two, bitch.
Bitch.
Poor girl's 18.
Okay.
Old enough to, hey, you go to war, you get called, bitch.
Both can happen.
18.
Nah.
I assume that's Eileen Gu, bro.
Yeah.
Why?
Why, you cuck?
Because she got money.
The only thing is that she's not honest about it.
I agree with that. She's like national pride blah blah yeah that's my only
criticism two criticisms one just the fact that you can do this and two that she's lying about it
and she would have got money here you're acting like a hot girl with a victoria's secret contract
it had one route to money who's also accepted to stanford oh my god she's not some fucking
hopeless girl in the projects trying to make it out no she can she's not as much this is probably a middle class girl grew up with with resources
enough to be a fucking skier you think she grew up poor as a skier no i don't think she grew up
you know any poor skiers her mom taught skiing yeah yeah it probably wasn't poor at tahoe yeah
it's yeah yeah she was she was in tah. What a rough upbringing she must have had.
Yeah.
I sympathize.
Yeah, just save my ass, America.
Yo, low-key, I would be all right.
Honestly, not all right would be annoying, but I'd be like, if she went, yo, America didn't cough up the bag.
I wouldn't like it.
America was cheap.
America doesn't value me.
I could respect your authenticity.
I learned in America to value myself and get paid the most that I possibly can get paid for my duties.
Now, she's still shit all over America and is a traitor.
But at least she'd be honest and I could respect her as an honest human being.
She's our Benedict Arnold.
Yo, real talk.
She's our Benedict.
This is a traitor.
She's a traitor, dog.
It's got to be sympathizing for traitors.
The way they became French last episode so fast. What is up with you? She's a traitor dog. It's gotta be sympathizing for traders
What is up with you what you trying to do
You need to visit your parents now, you know, he's
He's about to turn on us. That's what it is
Sympathizing is he for sales for China, too. Oh, yeah. yeah. But I said that off rip, though. What do you mean?
Whoever treats me better.
They will never treat you better.
We don't know that.
They don't treat their people better.
I haven't heard their offer.
Alex, the last time your people were purchased, it didn't go well.
Okay?
I wouldn't put yourself up for sale.
I haven't heard their offer.
Hey, hey.
Hey, if you think they treat the Uyghurs badly.
That's funny.
I'm not going to finish that sentence.
But I think we know where it's going. Where is going i don't know i don't know akash the cancellation trail continues all right guys
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Now let's get back to the show and we're back.
Okay.
Let's talk about this.
This is very important.
Yes.
Okay.
Um, Biden is getting shit on right now.
Yeah.
Uh, for trying to provide clean crack pipes.
Yes.
Why is that bad?
Because it's an opportunity to morally grandstand for the other side yeah that's all it is it's so fucking irritating it's their opportunity to run
with the headline and say joe biden look what he's doing to our country he's just handing out
crack pipes to people who's saying what like the republicans are saying this yeah there's
conservative news conservative news is what is joe biden doing to america the headline i saw
today was joe biden hands out crack pipes in black communities for, quote, racial equity.
Unbelievable title.
Unbelievable title.
Yeah, you gotta respect the title.
That's gonna get clicks.
Yeah, yeah, that's good.
That's great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We should hire that guy.
Yeah.
I mean, that was phenomenal.
Yeah.
I have to read that article.
Yeah.
Hands out?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It sounds like he's doing it.
He's walking around like they're turkeys on Thanksgiving.
There's just a big old fucking U-Haul that he has crack pipes in.
He's like the tooth fairy, but for crack, bro.
He just fucking goes in the house, slips a crack pipe under the pillow, keeps it moving.
Damn.
Okay.
Now, the real story is that they were handing out these care packages.
Yes.
Right?
That they were handing out these care packages.
Yes.
Right?
And they want to incentivize drug addicts not to use needles because needles is where you have actual what?
Well, it was like just a proposal and that was one of the things.
So like they're trying to do. Yeah, the care packages.
They're doing clean needles too.
Yeah.
So clean needles, but they're like, if we can give these crack pipes out, ideally they won't switch from smoking it to shooting it.
Because when they're shooting it, they're sharing the needles. That's where AIDS
and what's the other one?
Hepatitis. Hepatitis gets shared,
etc. They also said
the broken up crack pipes, you can get
cuts and all this other stuff that cause
these weird infections. Basically, they think
if you can do drugs in a safer way,
it will create a safer
community and less spread of disease, etc.
And probably make it easier
to come back from that addiction coming back from that addiction when you already got hepatitis and
fucking aids it's going to be a lot harder and this program more programs like this have been
around for a really long time for a long time and it probably also like it's less cost on us for
health care yeah the guy goes in and he's got aids it costs us that much more money so charlamagne
had an interesting point where he was just like yo when are we gonna stop when are we gonna start blaming democrats for their bad
messaging it's like you put out the messaging yeah you said that he did this like if i'm them
i'm not even saying anything i'm not even making this a fucking headline like if it has me saying
okay to giving out fresh crack pipes to the people in these areas,
I know how that could be taken from the opposition and turned into a tool to punish me.
I'm not even going to say anything about it.
Just slow roll that shit.
But they have to include it in the proposal.
In order to...
So they put the proposal forward.
And in the proposal...
That's what I assume happened.
They have 11 things.
They have infectious disease kits, safe sex kits,
sharps disposal kits, syringe and prevention, blah, blah, blah, vaccination services, all this shit, screening for infectious disease kits safe sex kits sharps disposal kits syringe and prevention blah blah
blah vaccination services all this shit screening for infectious disease and then one of them is
just safe smoking kits slash supplies so it doesn't actually say crack pipe it says safe
smoking kits slash supplies which more or less means crack pipe but the wording is they're trying
to hide it inside the who decides like the best way to make a crack pipe?
There's a focus group that the government has to hire to be like,
okay, this is the most efficient way to make a crack pipe.
It'll take some years off a drug dealer sentence.
Maybe.
100%, right?
It's not like they're just giving you a little piece of glass.
They are printing these fucking things.
It's like when they hire Leo in Catch Me If You Can.
Let's get the best crack pipe maker who's in jail
and have him make crack pipes for the crackheads. Yeah, if you can. Let's get the best crack pipe maker who's in jail and have him make crack pipes
for the crackheads.
If you had an infinite budget, how would you make a crack pipe?
Are we going to make better crack smokers?
Shouldn't
doing crack be hard?
It should burn your fingers, right?
It should make cuts on your mouth so you don't do it.
You shouldn't start smoking crack and be like, this is enjoyable.
It shouldn't be fucking freeze pipe for crack.
It shouldn't be start smoking crack and you're like this is enjoyable yeah it shouldn't be fucking freeze pipe for crack right like it shouldn't be yeah yeah that's i mean yeah but also i don't you want to it's like handing out condoms in high school yeah yeah you got to prevent
the pregnancy because we don't want the shit downstream yeah and these are the same people
that would get upset about that it's just no what do you think the numbing condoms that numb you on
the inside i've done those.
But yeah, it numbs you.
And then you're like, man, sex is boring.
Well, low key, I think that the NYC, we were talking about this on Bruin Is, but the NYC Subway condom, I actually think that that had diminishing returns.
What is it?
The NYC, New York City made like condoms.
Condoms for free.
And they were just given out for free.
But they were so uncomfortable that you were just like, if that was the first condom you ever use you're going oh i'm not using condoms these shit suck the first
condom you use has to feel as close to sex as possible so you go i'll just have protected sex
like do you remember yeah they were thick and like you didn't feel tight yeah it was just awful
and i remember i'd rather risk it than go soft on a girl.
Because that's the real issue, right?
It's like with wearing a condom
is the embarrassment of not feeling it
and either not coming
or fucking softening up.
So as a dude,
your ego is going to take over
and your ego is going to be like,
well, I'm definitely not failing right there.
But your ego is probably taking a hit
pulling out an MTA condom
in the first place.
You never pull it out, hit it with a bing bong
you never did that bro you fucking me like the elf train
yeah dude i remember them shits yeah they said mta on it yeah yeah bro come on yeah and i had
like the different train stops.
Yeah.
And like, who made this? Yeah, that's how you get home after.
You just take the rapid.
Yeah, exactly.
But like the fact that they think that we like the subway so much, we're like, yeah,
that's where I want to fuck.
Like it had to be somebody outside of New York City.
Oh, yeah.
Like there's so many other things that you could do.
Yeah.
And make and brand a condom around.
The Empire State Building condom.
Yeah.
The big, hard, strong. The Rockefeller. The Rockefeller condom. Right? Like building big hard strong fella the rockefeller
right like some fire shit that you want on your dick like i want my dick to be the empire
motherfucking state building but the subway what about the subway is sexual nothing i mean it's
long i don't know it comes late bro that shit sucks that's what you don't want in a period you
want the period on time. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can think of the worst reasons.
Yeah.
It's filthy, full of disease, comes late, not reliable.
Sometimes there's other dudes in it already.
What's good about it?
It gets you there.
Yeah.
It gets you.
It'll get you close.
It won't get you exactly where you want to go.
You have to walk there.
It's dirty.
You could probably get sick from it.
Yeah.
You don't want to be there too long
Nothing is good, nothing marketable
Sometimes you start in there and then there's just some dude
Sitting next to you for the rest of it
Yeah, it's actually the worst possible
That's what I feel about a bathroom custodian
You know what I mean?
No bathroom custodian is going to sell you the condom that says bathroom on it
You know what I mean?
It's going to say Trojan or some shit
Give me the brand name, even if you give it in the subway make a brand name yeah but even
trojan's not that good of a name you know i thought about this i'm sure some comic has done a bit
about it right like but it is possibly the worst name for a condom like the whole idea of the
trojan horse was you sneak something in there and then once it's in there all the little guys inside get let out yeah which is
the last thing you want from a condom right you want to get inside and then they don't get out
they just stay in there and then you pull it out yeah like this horse is comfortable how the fuck
did they why would they not no yeah i mean i like the idea of a horse horse is good horse is cool
yeah horse dick but i think the actual Trojan
is the warrior or whatever right
which is also kind of weird
the horse is on the fucking con
the Trojan horse is
is the horse on it
yeah isn't this part of the branding
it used to be
I think they took it off
but it used to be
that's how old we are
buying them three packs
at the boat
three which ones you go for
no I went for gold pack
because just like you could flex that you'd use in gold pack magnum the magnums yeah yeah and it's
like being in the club and getting the bottles and shit like that it's like i got the gold yo
and the thing about magnums where i remember like i remember the first time that i tried a magnum i
was terrified i was like please let me fit this magnum and then i looked at that and i'm like oh
it's the same size they're just charging more so that you can have a match. You pay a premium so the girl thinks you have a huge dick.
It's the same fucking size.
Yeah.
That seems like a good investment.
It's a little bigger.
Okay.
But like marginally bigger.
Yeah.
Like compare it with the MTA condoms.
It's way bigger.
That's what I'm saying.
MTA condoms was one size fits one group.
So anyway, are you going to one of biden's crack pipes i mean i want i gotta get my hands on one that's what we were talking about yeah yeah that's how we got here listen this is flagrant too
there's no rhyme or reason for anything yeah uh do you think he did it for his son? Oh my god, that's great. That is fucking great.
If anybody knows Crackpipes.
Yeah, he's probably the one that designed it.
He's the one that designed it.
Finally a job that he's actually cut out for.
He's had all these government jobs that he has no experience.
Running energy for Ukraine.
Nope.
Painting.
Nope.
But Crackpipes?
There you go.
Know the man for the job.
There you go. This is the for the job. There you go.
That's the only time nepotism is like,
hey, you got it.
Sometimes you luck out.
Most qualified crack pipe maker ever.
I've worked my whole life for this.
Dude!
Hunter Biden is designing the crack pipes.
And if they aren't,
dude, if they aren't,
Joe's a piece of shit.
I'm just saying, finally,
you have a position for your son.
That he actually deserves.
That he deserves.
He actually earned.
Could help people with.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
He was doing crack?
Damn.
Hunter?
I thought it was heroin.
No, crack, son.
He's been cracked out, bro.
This is weird.
White people doing crack.
Yo, white people been on crack.
No, Hunter's an ally, dog.
Oh, respect.
Didn't the government put crack in black neighborhoods in the first place?
Yes.
Yeah.
So this is just them doing the rest of it?
Did they put it in there?
We don't know.
No, they didn't.
I mean, honestly, when I heard this bill come out, and I was like, black people, watch out.
They're preparing you for another batch.
Oh, no, no, no.
The real economy's tough.
Start throwing crack in the hood again.
They're killing y'all with the opiates right now. Say again? They're. Start throwing crack in the hood again.
They're killing y'all with the opiates right now. Say again?
They're killing y'all with the opiates right now.
We're killing ourselves.
I mean, they're killing.
They are killing us.
Yeah, it's the government.
The pharmaceutical companies who aren't getting any pushback from the government.
You smoke meth, right?
Yeah.
You smoke meth?
You can shoot it, too.
Okay, so are they doing anything for meth heads?
Snort it.
Are they doing any of this kind of initiative?
No one cares about meth heads.
Yeah, it's white people dying.
Yeah.
We do not care about white people dying.
What if that was the Republican outrage?
What about the clean meth kits?
What about the white people dying?
Yeah, where's our stuff?
Come on.
See, that's black privilege.
You guys give crack pipes.
You get all the best crack pipes.
Yeah, where's our opiates?
Yeah, because I always hear that.
Reagan funneled crack into black neighborhoods.
But how exactly?
But if he wasn't making the crack.
It was the coke he was funneling in.
And then we turned it to crack.
But I mean, white people using coke just as prominently as black people.
But you guys figured out how to make crack yourselves.
And that's a story I'm unclear.
I think it was a guy in L.A.
Blame it on white people.
You can blame that shit on the government, and we would all believe it.
I think it was a black guy in L.A.
Blame it on white people.
Blame it on the government, son.
You don't want to take that L, bro.
You don't want to take that L.
I mean, but also, us inventing crack has got to fly.
Say what?
Us inventing something has got to fly.
Yo, Charlamagne.
Charlamagne had that joke.
He goes, you know, black people, frying up everything.
No, but you don't want that black guy to get credit you know eli whitney or whatever they made the cotton gin they say like one of his slaves made it and then he took the credit
that's what i would let crack be yeah yeah you don't want eli take the credit for that
you don't want that slave to be like no me i'm the one that extended slavery by 100 years
nah it's true yeah you're right fucking cotton gin well that is a crazy
i remember learning about that in mr davis's class by the way oh he told you that well yeah
and he was saying that um he was saying that like it was becoming uh it wasn't economically viable
slavery was losing its economic viability in the south because uh it was just it required too many people to get
the amount of cotton that they were getting right right because your housing feeding all this other
stuff right um and then the cotton gin enabled the slave to get so much more cotton for the
amount of hours worked and that's what ended up extending it yeah kind of wild yeah now yeah but
if that guy they taught us that right yeah they
didn't teach us that they taught the cotton gin like it was some great invention fucking that's
the south though wait you're lying dude they didn't ever tell you like oh this extended slavery
this was why please tell me a lie bro y'all want to know something this is so that's crazy but
first of all it's absolutely crazy but second of all, this is something really interesting.
It's like Eli Whitney or his slave invented the cotton gin, right? Which essentially all it is is a strainer for cotton, right?
So you basically pull the cotton through and then the seeds of the cotton get caught.
It was like another fucking hundred years before we found out to make orange juice without the pulp.
You're saying we could just put it in the cotton damn wait who invented that
maybe another i don't know i honestly don't know but i'm just saying like
isn't that crazy how much longer it took yeah i think yeah cotton was more profitable than
orange juice though was it though that's a good point. Was it, though? In Naples, what were they making?
Like Florida?
Yeah.
Florida was built on orange juice.
That's true.
That's true.
Real question.
As damaging as the cotton gin was, truly, if that guy didn't make it, what would we be wearing? There we go.
Mark it.
Mark it.
Would we what?
What would we be wearing?
We'd be wearing cotton, my friend.
How?
Well, they still made things with cotton before
it was just more expensive you dumb fuck okay so you think we can all afford cotton well what do
you think we do right now you're gonna sit in that yeah what do you think we'd be wearing what
do you think your jacket's made out of right now bro not cotton that's my point well there's other
materials too so i'm saying That's the foundational material.
That's the fabric of our lives.
You think?
That's the slogan.
What were people wearing?
Oh, fuck.
That's the slogan.
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
Yo, cotton low-key.
Overrated, dogs.
Low-key.
Can we say that?
What's your favorite shit?
My favorite material? Yeah. Undies got to be cotton huh undies got to be cotton you can't wear no fucking
oh no there's definitely better definitely better materials like what cashmere yeah cashmere would
be cashmere underwear for sure isn't that cotton no no it's cashmere miles we should just you know
cashmere is like uh made out of camels is like made out of camels, I think.
It's made out of camels.
Made out of camels.
Fucking dumbass.
Fucking idiot.
Seriously?
Yeah.
Yeah, cashmere is camels.
Camels.
Wool is lambs.
Wool is lambs, too.
Wool would be better also.
Wool is way better.
You know that?
Yeah.
You never done that?
Also, your undies are definitely made of like rayon and like polyester.
Yeah, polyester.
Nylon is also lit.
Nah, but it's breathable, though.
There's a lot of breathable materials. Mesh. Yeah, polyester. Nylon is also lit. Nah, but it's breathable, bro. There's a lot of breathable materials.
Mesh.
Yeah, lace.
Velvet.
Yeah, I'm wearing lace.
Lace is fire, dog.
Lace is fire, bro.
Is Egyptian cotton,
was his people picking that?
Say again?
Egyptian cotton.
Egyptians didn't have slaves.
Yeah, never once in history.
Never once in history
did the Egyptians have slaves.
Never one single time
did they have slaves.
They were doing sex shit. Never once in history did the Egyptians have slaves. Never one single time did they have slaves. They were doing sex shit.
Never once in history did that happen.
Okay, Dove?
Yeah.
Did you say camels or cashmere?
Yeah.
Very confidently said that.
Yeah.
It's some bullshit, right?
I knew it was some bullshit.
Thank you.
I knew it was some bullshit.
I've never heard that about life.
I knew that was some bullshit. It's like a camel hair
cashmere combo sweater, but
nah, bro. It's like a type of cam
of goat. And there's like
an even higher one.
Do you know?
Yeah, his answer ain't that good.
It's supposed to be a slant.
I also just realized that
Mark every single day on his podcast sits
in front of the Ninja Turtles, and that's why his nephew asked about it and you know who's not
included in that painting is fucking splinter and that's why he was asking where's splinter
he wants to know he wants to know you're there with bebop and rocksteady but that's it yeah
and i don't know where splinter is i haven't seen him and i'm not gonna lie to you and say
oh i've seen him all the time you mother all of her if you're listening i haven't seen him
maybe he's oh it's ollie yeah it's ollie yeah good kid dude the kid loves the ninja turtles
he does it goes crazy they're great ninja turtles are ruining this childhood 110 it's goats there's
cashmere goats pashmina goats and some other breeds of goat what about linen what is that
where you get this camel shit yeah yo miles bro don't even google it
miles miles miles just take the l he ain't doodling right now yeah miles take the fucking You get this camel shit. Yo, Miles, bro. Don't even Google it. Miles, Miles, Miles.
Just take the L, son.
He ain't doodling right now.
Yeah, Miles, take the fucking L, son.
Just give him those jackets, bro.
Who throws out what part of the camel?
You have to look at the camel and be like, yo, that's just comfy, son.
And linen is a plant.
You agreed with him.
Say what?
You agreed with him.
Like I was a dummy.
Yeah, I did.
I did.
I did.
I did.
I did.
You did too, dude. You did too. I was like this. yeah dummy no you're a dummy clothes if there wasn't
for slaves
we're the only people who make cotton in the whole world.
Less comfortable clothes.
That's all I'm saying.
We be wearing linen.
That's not as comfortable.
That's way more comfortable.
Linen's way more comfortable.
Are you kidding?
What do you think the sheks make wear?
What the sheks?
In Saudi Arabia.
He was wearing the other day.
He said, why be wearing a linen shirt?
I'm out here living life, bro.
I'm out here dressing like a Saudi Arabian.
That's linen?
This right here? Monday, you had a linen shirt. I had linen. I'm out here living life, bro. I'm out here dressing like a Saudi Arabian. That's linen? This right here?
Monday, you had a linen shirt.
I had linen.
I'm in linen.
Bro, linen's lit.
Yo, leather.
What about leather?
That's better than cotton.
Leather hot as fuck.
Shut up with your Indian cows.
Get the fuck out of here, bro.
Y'all don't know nothing about leather.
Leather's the best.
You ain't wearing no leather.
I'm wearing leather right now.
I'm in this room wearing leather right now.
I'm wearing leather drawers.
You bitches.
I'm wearing leather drawers. Yeah, your stupid shoes. Your shoes. That's all you got. I'm wearing leather right now Nobody in this room Wearing leather right now I'm wearing leather drawers You bitches I'm wearing leather drawers Yeah your stupid shoes
Your shoes
That's all you got
You're wearing leather right now
What are those
Shoes are leather
That's good shoes
That's it
Why are you killing cows for that
Yeah
Why are you killing cattle
I ain't shit
I never said I was shit
I just said cotton
Is more comfortable
As clothing than leather
No leather is actually
More comfortable
Y'all acting like I took
A moral high ground
Hey what animal
Does leather come from
Leather is technically From comfortable. Y'all act like I took a moral high ground. Hey, what animal does leather come from?
Well, leather's technically from the duckbill platypus.
If you wade a river and find ten duckbill platypi,
then you could turn into one leather jacket.
Everybody knows this for a fact.
This motherfucker over here trying to make me look dumb,
and I agree with him.
Just because his hair looks so beautiful,
I agree with everything Miles says now.
Yeah.
I'm going to get back on the keys.
Miles' hair, bro.
He's still Googling.
He's trying to find it.
Ain't no such thing as halfway crooks, Miles.
This ain't Harry Potter.
Yeah. They got it.
Fucking camels you went for with all the animals, bro.
Cashmere.
I never even seen a motherfucking Middle Eastern dude in cashmere before.
Yeah. What do they wear? Probably cotton. Cotton? bro. I've never even seen a motherfucking Middle Eastern dude in cashmere before.
What do they wear?
Probably cotton. Cotton?
Thank you. The fabric of our lives.
No, I don't love that. You would.
They wear a lot of linen, bro.
They wear silk. Silk, though.
Silk. I've seen some fat, muzzy pits in some silk before.
You can't say that. I have, though.
You can't say that. Wind hits her. You see that box poking out the front
come on baby fired up oh my god seriously though man Come on, baby. Fire it up. Oh, my God. Seriously, though, man.
Seriously, them muzzy women look fine in that silk when that wind hits.
You never seen it, bro?
No.
Come on.
Come on, man.
Come on, man.
Come on, man.
Yeah.
But Akash's original point, that slaves make the best clothes, is that what he said?
I'm just saying, I think the best fabric came from the worst thing.
That's all I'm saying. Is it the best fabric, though? where do we get all of our clothes made where it's true china not from fucking fair rights you know i mean not from not slaves
the tides are turning wait what's going on here what side are we what are we what are we arguing
i can argue both what side are we arguing go mark take that home for me because i don't know what i'm
saying anymore but i think you got it maybe we let al handle this one yeah no mark no no
if i agree with him or not i'll see if slaves make the best clothing period even today you
could argue this point are kids slaves are they slaves as a school of hard knocks
bro yeah like is a child a slave oh you make them do chores in your house i mean isn't that what
children are they they cannot do what they want they do not have freedom and they have to do what
you tell them yes you basically every america that's where America went wrong. Make your own slaves.
Okay, no.
That's where America went wrong.
That's not where they were wrong.
Make your own.
No, that's.
Yes, we did.
You stole other people from their land.
I think that checks out.
I think you're on the wrong side of this one.
You're on the wrong side.
Yo, hey, if you want some people to work your fields, make your own.
Yeah, give birth to them.
Get your fat, sweaty wife off her bed and put some fucking kids in that broad
or put her on the bed you know put her on the bed too yeah get her head out of that
get some clap cleats yeah get some clap cleats and then put some cum in her pussy hole
for real that's really important dude yeah fill her up man you're out here buying no we're not
buying we make it homegrown homegrown homegrown that's
righteous that's right farmed organically sourced organically we're not sourcing we're making it
dude yeah made in america made in america in sourced in source we're not outsourcing
in source al how would you feel about that i would love that that's okay yeah america got it wrong
america got it wrong yes have a big fucking family dude dude. That's what they try to do, I think.
And then they stopped. And that's what killed the nuclear
family. They're passing out safe sex kids.
That is what killed the nuclear family.
Honestly, slave owners
killed the nuclear family.
No, yeah, I agree. Slave owners
killed the nuclear family. Do you disagree?
Fuck slave owners, dude, for what they did.
They killed the family dynamic.
All these spoiled ass kids running around the slave owned house, dude.
Not doing a single thing for them goddamn selves.
Bunch of whiny little fucking bitches drinking mint juleps.
Right, dude?
For real, Miles, write that down.
Okay?
Seriously, man.
He's still Googling where fucking Kashmir comes from.
Yeah, he has no clue.
He's talking about the history of Pakistan right now now what is cashmere come on dude it's all good
all right are we done with this topic yeah i think i think we figured it out guys
what do we figure out slave owners all children are slaves yes that's the the ethical thing to
do is to have your own children be your slaves. And yes.
And they're not considered slaves.
They're considered children.
Yes.
Correct.
Your children.
Your children.
Very important.
Now, what if you, Schindler's listed it.
What if you adopted?
That's unethical.
It should share your DNA.
So adoption, you can't do it?
No.
I have to treat my adopted son differently?
Yes.
Yes.
And that's what got the Duttons in trouble in Yellowstone,
if you really think about it.
If you really think about it, right?
Send in Jamie over there to Harvard to get his little law degree
because he wasn't blood.
Sorry, did I ruin it for some of y'all?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
You ruined Yellowstone.
Whatever will we do?
Don't treat me like Rogan.
You will not disrespect me like this,
Akash.
Oh, man.
Okay.
I think we're done. I think we figured it all out.
I think we figured it all out. Is there anything else?
Thanks for the crackpipes.
Thank you, Hunter.
We need somebody to be looking down our episodes
to make sure that we don't say anything bad.
When do we get that? That's kind's kind of fun we're not there yet i mean we're not even close we're getting there yeah guys guys guys um that's been another episode of flagrant
too we love you we appreciate you we out here grinding for y'all yo twice a week real talk
twice a week add the patreon and patreon three a motherfucker. We're not playing games out here.
Yeah, keep doing this, bro.
I'm having fun.
Real talk.
I think that makes sense.
You know what I mean?
The people want it.
The people want it.
We got to give the people what they want.
That's what we do.
We have to serve up this flagrancy.
Now more than ever.
You know what I'm saying?
Enjoy it while we last.
They're going to try to get us out of here.
So enjoy it.
But we're going to go.
100 miles an hour up until then.
Al still hasn't done a 540.
Why don't we end on you doing a 540?
I did a 540. What are you talking about?
The second one was a 540?
The second one was a 360. You never did a 540.
No, no, no. It was more than 360.
It was close. It was close enough.
I'm taking it. It's Black History Month. I did it.
Whoa.
So you get to be lazier on Black History Month?
Absolutely.
I think that checks out.
Does it?
I'm not going to force Alex to jump on Black History Month.
So this month they get to...
Interesting.
Okay.
We're going to cut a few corners.
Fine with that.
Guys, thank you so much for listening to the podcast.
We love you. We we appreciate you have a lovely
evening