Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - All Bi’s Matter
Episode Date: September 15, 2020This week Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia and Mark discuss Netflix's Cuties, Disney filming in China, JK Rowling's new book, the new Oscar rules, can men be bisexual, some clown that talked about us for an... hour and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2
Transcript
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what's up everybody and welcome to flagrant 2 it's your boy sheltie here we got akash
take alex media mark gagnon is back we got taylor okay taylor is off camera because she
got so fucking high before this podcast she ate an edible she thought none of us would notice
but we noticed taylor okay we noticed that you were high Alright I'm not deaf
I'm high
You're not deaf
Fair enough
She still got her wits with her
Alright
Anyway
Listen
I don't know how many times
We restarted this podcast
But we just gotta
We just gotta congratulate Mark
Mark is married
Officially
Yeah
He's back here
After his honeymoon
Do you think it was wrong
For me to criticize
you having a honeymoon
after your marriage?
What the fuck is that?
What is going on?
That's Taylor's fucking phone.
That's not even her phone.
That's just Taylor going,
beep, beep, beep.
That's how high she is, bro.
Stop it, Taylor.
Stop it.
Go walk it off.
Go run it off.
Okay?
Mark,
look at you
trying to sabotage Mark.
You had that seat. I know. And the second we about to talk about Mark's stop look at you trying to sabotage mark you had that seat i know the second
we about to talk about mark's wedding she really trying to sabotage mark's story yo that is i'm
off the market taylor okay geez no she wants your chair oh damn it anyway so mark mark got married
i was very critical of mark's honeymoon after his wedding. Mark, what did you enjoy more, getting married or not having to work for Andrew for a week?
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
That was about me, that one.
I thought we were ganging up on Mark.
I thought that was the whole game.
I was curious.
I'm wondering.
Okay.
No, but seriously, answer that question.
What is the question exactly?
He said, what did you enjoy more, your honeymoon or not working for me, which I think is the
same thing. I don't know. I said getting married or not working for me, which I think is the same thing.
I said getting married or not working for you.
No, let's not ask that.
Let's ask this one.
Let's ask this one.
I don't know.
When were you going to tell me that you weren't coming in to work that day?
Because I texted Mark on the flight.
I said something like, yo, we got a lot of work to do.
I said, we got a lot of work to do.
It's Sunday, 945 Sunday.
I was like, can't wait to get an early start Monday.
At what point were you going to tell me?
Can I do that one instead?
The way we started the first time.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to the planet.
The way we started the first time was way more fun.
Okay.
When did you think that you were going to tell me?
When were you deciding to tell me?
Well, let me just say this.
Yeah, yeah.
Because I text you at 9.45 at night while I'm in the sky waiting for you to look at your phone and text me. Yeah. Remember? And I knew
there was something up because earlier in the day I was texting Mark. I was like, hey, man,
proud of you. I hope you're enjoying your day. This, that, the other. And I was like, man,
we're about to get work. We got a lot of work to do, man. We changing the game again. I can't wait.
It's going to be so crazy. I ain't here for that month for five hours straight. Wow. Wait, when?
Mark be ghosting on text. On my wedding day.
No, this is the next day.
On my wedding next day.
It's over.
The wedding's over, bro.
We celebrated it.
Now you just married like the rest of us.
No, now I-
You haven't tell brunch the next day.
Whatever, whatever.
You get the brunch the next day,
motherfuckers still care.
And then when they leave the venue,
officially we're like, that's good.
That's in the past now.
Yeah, exactly.
Your wedding is over.
Thank you.
So if he texted you after that, wedding is over.
Akash, another married man.
Thank you.
But I'm saying if he texted you after that breakfast or whatever, if you had a meal,
I don't know how white people do weddings.
Yes.
It's over.
We're done.
We're done doing this.
I'm looking for the exact thing you sent him.
Oh, no.
Okay, this is what I said.
I'm going to start texting you right now.
I'm filibustering. I'm about to filibuster, bro. Okay, this is what I said. I'm going to start texting you right now. I'm filibustering.
I'm about to filibuster, bro.
You know, if you do that, he can't keep scrolling.
Oh, fuck!
He just texted me and then went back to the bottom.
God, these kids are so good at technology.
Screenshot.
Put your phone on the airplane.
Put your phone on the airplane.
Take it off Wi-Fi.
Oh, fuck.
No, but it would still go.
Score.
No, take it off Wi-Fi.
Damn, did he scoreboard me, though?
He did. He fucking scoreboarded me, dude me dude mary mark is so different bro this guy sabotages everything including a week of work
with his fucking honeymoon piece of shit at 9 48 eastern standard time a.m or p.m p.m oh it's night
i'm landing the plane excited getting ready to go ready to go. What time zone was I in? Say again? What time zone was I in?
Same time zone as me. Okay. After you
took us all to Florida, right?
Tried to give us Corona. Tried to give us Corona, yeah.
We went down there. You might have
went down there what day? Wednesday? I think
it was Friday. Probably checked out by Monday.
You were useless the week before.
The guy took three weeks off. The guy took
three weeks off for his wedding. Who takes three weeks off for a wedding?
This guy got elephants at his wedding.
He don't need three weeks.
You're right about it.
Think about that.
How long is an Indian wedding?
Three days.
Three days.
That's actually his point.
Aghaj fucked me up
because he got married
secretly in the night.
Yeah.
Because I didn't want
to miss the work.
I wouldn't have done that, Mark.
I didn't want to miss the work.
I wouldn't have done that.
See, Aghaj did it so sneakily
that we didn't even know
that it happened.
Got married on a Sunday,
at work on Monday.
What's good?
And no one even knew.
He didn't even take a single day off.
Bruh, I'm nice.
And he got real married.
None of us.
Honestly, and I spoke to Father Benjamin about this.
I have words with him.
He gave me a call, and we were having a little discussion
about not sharing the speech that I gave on the podcast
because there might have been some sacrilegious things said in that.
You know what I mean?
Please forgive me,
Father Benjamin.
I love you.
You're my guy.
Love you.
Always open invitation
to come up here.
Also, Father, Father.
Not just Father Benjamin.
Please forgive me,
Father, Father God.
You know what I mean?
Also, God, forgive me too.
Matter of fact,
over Benjamin, no offense,
but if I'm going for forgiveness,
I'm going to the top.
Top down.
Top down.
That being said,
I said, Father Benjamin,
why does he have to take a week off?
I was going through it. I said, why does he have to take a week off I was going through it
I said why does he
have to take a week off
he goes
he goes well you know
you have a wedding
you need to celebrate
a honeymoon
you know what I mean
I go he's 23 years of age
his whole life
has been celebrated
the guy went from college
into doing stand up comedy
he gets married
it's a honeymoon
there's no struggle yet
there's a honeymoon
that's true
yeah you're completely
right so far
I like that move though
he had father Benjamin
cough to get him
out of that
what the fuck
I like that move
that's smooth
come on bro
come on dog
did you do that too
no
yo this mark bro
that's smooth
but do you know why
you talked to father Benjamin
why is that
because you weren't
invited to my wedding
keep going
I don't know where
it is just yet
there have been some
weddings in the past
that you weren't
invited to
okay
so maybe
do you see how he's
trying to divide
and conquer us
that's a white man
do you see what he's
trying to
it don't work
on another white guy
it don't work
on another white guy
yeah
whatever he said
we're spinning
no
who's spinning
I don't know
Al what are we doing
I don't know man
I'm just saying
take over
Al's gone
why won't Al marry you?
Now everybody's in a spin cycle.
Oh, shit.
Yo, chill out.
Wait a minute.
Translate to Spanish.
Oye, la mujer de Alex.
¿Por qué no estás casada con Alex?
Este hijo de puta.
I call you the hijo de puta.
But no disrespect to your mom, bro.
Oh, shit. No disrespect. No disrespect. We no disrespect to your mom, bro. Oh, shit.
No disrespect.
No disrespect.
Oh, shit.
We shared a whole day at Harry Potter.
Oh, fuck.
That went to Harry Potter World?
That went to Harry Potter World.
That lasted one ride.
Son.
Son, rides make me sick.
Yo, he really bitched up, son.
Yo, you know how, this is how I knew I was upset when Mark didn't come to work.
This is how I knew I was upset.
I went on two rides.
I was sick.
I tapped out.
One of the rides was the train that goes from
Hogwarts to the Dragon Island. Okay?
That shit, I looked at the fucking 3D screen
to the right. It's not a ride.
It's not a ride. We were moving.
It takes you to the other... That's the train
that goes from Times Square
to Grand Central. Harry's flying.
Hermione's flying. And I was getting
sick. And I said, I'm not going on no goddamn
rides. I definitely didn't go
into Green God's vault.
I didn't do that one.
That shit is litty.
You messed up.
It was mad fun.
That shit is litty.
Mad racist in fucking Florida.
I'm looking at the vault
and people looking at me,
they're like,
oh,
that shit is racist.
They were fucking racist, bro.
They were profiling me, bro.
They were profiling me.
Come back, Taylor.
You're so hot.
Can I get a loan? Yeah, motherfuckers were asking me for loans outside of Green profiling me. Come back, Taylor. You're so hot.
Yeah, motherfuckers were asking me for loans
outside of Green God's vault.
That's disrespectful, bro.
That's crazy.
That's racist.
That's how racist Florida is.
Oh, my God.
I hope y'all get Corona.
Motherfucker came up to me
asking for a picture.
I had the Trump 2020 mask on.
Oh, no.
I had to ask him
to take down the mask.
I was like, come on, bro.
We're not afraid of Corona. I to take down the mask i was like come on bro we're not afraid of
corona i'll take a deep breath like smart anyway so this is how i knew i was sick after going on
that train yeah after i took the fucking s train yeah sick it took me the whole rest of the day
and your whole wedding to get better i was still sick ill during the way i was ill during the
wedding and i thugged it out for you wow okay okay piece of shit i can't believe it okay listen i texted mark when mark said oopsie
there's been a slight problem yep it was like i was back on a train oh my god it was i was back
on the train that made you sick though do you really want to know is it the very first one
is it the basket one it was it was hoggleworks The Hoggleworks, the one where it's all video.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I can't even talk about it right now.
My mouth is starting to salivate.
My mouth is starting to salivate.
I'm going to get sick just talking about it.
I went on that shit with my girl.
I went on that shit with my girl.
I couldn't even pick out a wand afterwards.
I was so sick.
We were looking at all the wands.
And I was like, I can't look at them.
Just get out.
And then she got me a wagon.
The thing about the wand
Is the wand picks you
You know what I mean
So think about that
Hey you know which one
You know which one picked me
Sirius Black
You know what I'm saying
That Sirius Black
And that's what I whipped out
Later that night
When she wanted some
What Al
Al you never whip out
That Sirius Black Que es eso Que es eso Al you never whip out that serious black
Que es eso
Que es eso
Este negro
Serioso
My shit is more like a
Playfully joking brown
It's a sarcastic brown
Wait a minute is his name serious black
Yeah
His wine sucks Yeah It is Sirius Black Yeah His wand sucks
Yeah
Yours is trash
I wanted Voldemort
Why didn't you get it?
Nothing fits better
Real talk
Real talk
Except Voldemort
Doesn't suck nose
How dare you
Take a honeymoon
Real talk
That is a little Voldemort
Yeah of course
Anyway yeah
But my girl said
She'd break up with me
If I got a Voldemort won she takes Harry Potter
very serious bitch
I bitched out bro
I need her to nurse me back to health I can't do that
shit myself okay
so Mark yeah in conclusion
yeah yeah yeah
what what I almost called you Aladdin
what
that's how on edge I am right now
I looked at Taylor she's still high she had the
most hilarious comment of her life last that's the top comment you realize that taylor oh you
got the top comment on the top comment on youtube is the aladdin thinking that akash was gonna have
an aladdin style wedding anyway point is do you feel remorseful for getting married while we had
things to do no what about having an extra honeymoon what do you feel remorseful for getting married while we had things to do no what about
having an extra honeymoon what do you mean extra honeymoon alex no combat what counts as extra
before the wedding and then a last minute honeymoon and the honeymoon is exactly where
the wedding was that's what blew my mind is you didn't go nowhere i just asked him where his mind
was blown my mind was he was teasing legit said, y'all were there.
He was like, yeah, Andrew and Alex were there.
It's the same beach you were just at.
That's the honeymoon.
Yo, that shit hurt my heart.
Where do I go?
Go to the Bahamas.
Go to Aruba.
You don't even believe in Corona.
Fly.
We can't go.
Go to Mexico, bro.
You can go to Mexico.
Everybody's in Mexico.
I'm not going to fucking Mexico.
Oh my goodness. Yo, that was real hard.
You're not in Florida anymore, Mark.
We're in Brooklyn.
You cannot speak this way.
I love Mexico.
We might need people
to fix the lights up in here
or something like that.
Bro, Yanny's coming tomorrow.
Thank you, Yanny.
Well, I ain't doing Yelp yet,
but you better slow down.
Nah, I can't knock Mark
because
in case I need
a honeymoon week.
I can't knock it.
Be like, yo, Mark did it. Be honest, Al. You the last one that's going to be in the honeymoon week. I can't knock it. Be like, yo, Mark did it.
Be honest, Al.
You're the last one
that's going to need a honeymoon week.
But it might come.
It might come.
What you going to need
a honeymoon for, Al?
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Al, what you going to need
a honeymoon for, Al?
You might need some funerals
for some time.
You might need to take some time off
for some little caskets out here.
Oh, man.
Some would-be showers.
Bro, I would be the best pallbearer, bro.
That was good.
I would be the best pallbearer.
No, would-be showers.
That's what you call when you pull out.
You're like, it won't be a shower.
Bro, if I was a pallbearer at his own fucking...
Hey, be careful.
He's a pallbearer. I'll call a light on'll be at his own fucking kid's funeral go yeah just launch that shit in the fucking ocean
damn damn so mark what happened bro all that time by the sea
yo okay yo mark just calm down bro Everything's gonna come back
You got your sea legs still bro
Shout out to the new set
That shit look pretty man
That shit's blingin
Guys what do we got to talk about this week man
There's been some things going on
I just wanna make a statement right now
Make it
Cause I know everybody's wanting me to talk about this.
Obviously.
I'm going to make a statement.
Obviously, this is important.
I'm not watching cuties.
You know what?
I'm glad you said it.
I'm not watching.
I've been waiting to hear your response to the cuties controversy this whole time.
I'm not going.
Listen, everybody's been telling me, bro, you got to respond about cuties.
I'm not watching cuties.
Wow.
I can't watch it because here's the thing.
There's no positive scenario that comes out of me watching it.
Do you know the movie we're all talking about?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's on Netflix.
It's about like these little girls in France, whatever,
they join like a twerking crew or some shit like that.
Yeah.
My assumption is, well, people are saying that it's pedophilia.
Yeah. That's what they're saying
yeah
but you know how like
everybody likes to call
everything pedophilia
that's the new shit
yeah
right
that's like
that's off-white
yeah
it's like you
everybody gotta call out pedophilia
yeah
it's almost getting so excessive
that my attitude is like
is there really pedophilia
it's almost that excessive
right
so everybody's going you gotta cancel Netflix over this this is horrible pedophilia? It's almost that excessive, right? So everybody's going, you got to cancel Netflix over this.
This is horrible.
Pedophilia is at the end.
My assumption with this is the marketing of the movie is probably way more egregious than the movie.
But here's why I'm not going to see the movie.
I don't want to see little girls sexualized regardless.
My assumption is that the movie is exposing the sexualization of kids.
Yes.
And how it's bad.
Yes.
And unfortunately, you need to sexualize or objectify kids to showcase that.
It's the same thing like if you want to show birth, you got to show a baby coming out of a pussy.
It's by proxy you got to show some pussy.
That being said, i don't want
to see it if if schindler's list didn't show the atrocities that happened it's not schindler's list
that's an interesting point so this movie my girl started watching like 10 minutes couldn't be like
trust us yo yeah motherfuckers with marco back well i didn't see it you didn't really see it
you saw some smoke coming out you don't know what that was it's not bad yeah it's a bonfire we
couldn't all movies were black and white everything looked oppressive you want basically the point is
you watch this girl we quit 10 minutes in i was like turn this shit off oh you tried it yeah
can't together as like no like she wanted to watch it i was like all right let's see what
everybody's talking about before any like actual sexual sexualization shit happens you just see
her like looking at the magazines whatever of like this is what pretty girls look like i guess
but that's the commentary is girls i think as young girls minds get so warped
by society that a lot of times they try to sexualize themselves young it's true and that's
a valid point so what they got girls wearing makeup at these little uh what are they called
like where you see which oh beauty pageant oh yeah toddlers in trs like why are they wearing
makeup yeah it's horrendous horrendous whole point of blush do you know what the point of blush is where you see which person. Oh, beauty pageant. Beauty pageant. Oh, yeah. Toddlers in CRs? Like, why are they wearing makeup?
Yeah, it's horrendous.
Horrendous.
The whole point of blush.
Do you know what the point of blush is?
What?
And even lipstick.
It's when a girl is in a sexual state,
when she's actually, like, hot and, like, heavy,
and she's horny and she's ready to fuck,
her cheeks redden and her lips redden.
So makeup is supposed to reenact
what is happening to a human being, a woman, when they're getting fucked.
Why are you painting girls to do that?
What's that?
Yes, it does happen to black people.
Yes, it does.
Where do you think red bone comes from?
Where do you think red bone comes from?
That's a girl getting boned.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We tried to save our conscious joke right there. We just tried to save costume. We tried to save it, bro.
I tried to jump right on top of it.
Where are the guns?
We need the guns.
You can't win them all.
You can't win them all.
How quick did you come into the movie?
You said you only watched the thumbnail.
The thumbnail.
Before she could even scroll down. She's like, do you want to watch yes yes yes actually i'm good
let's watch a social dilemma point is point is i think we all agree yeah society's fucked up
you could execute that in a way better way maybe or you don't even need to showcase it but then i started thinking right i'm like watching this show and another show on
netflix it's absolutely hilarious you actually watch it called cobra kai i started watching
that shit is fantastic fantastic so much fun what is that very good it is a modern day uh sequel if
you will to the karate kid but now the protagonist is the other guy that the Karate Kid beat.
So you're watching kids either way?
Well, here's the thing.
They're adults now.
Okay.
Right?
But I'm watching it.
And then there is kids in high school that are like making out and the girls that are
in high school are all like done up and sexualized.
And maybe the actors are older than 18, but they're supposed to be portraying kids in high school are all like done up and sexualized and maybe the actors are older than 18
but they're supposed to be portraying kids in high school
and then I started to think wait a minute
what about Gossip Girl those girls were
supposedly and guys were supposed to be in high school
what about when we were young maybe it was okay when we
were young but what's the show Not Saved by the
Bell the next one they're older
Beverly Hills now too and all this kind of shit I'm like wait a minute
how many high school shows where they show kids
dry humping and fucking and all this kind of stuff are just regular like, wait a minute. How many high school shows where they show kids dry humping
and fucking and all this kind of stuff
are just regular and normal?
And I'm like, wait a minute.
This is adults watching kids be sexual.
There was that show Skins, I think.
It was like a British show.
Super wild.
It's like, wait a minute.
You are entertaining adults with kids.
What's the fucking HBO show with zendaya or
whatever yeah euphoria euphoria we called out that exact shit and i was like yo why are you
why are you making it okay like it's just weird to me to and the cuties is the first time there's
any pushback i think it's super egregious yeah it's further these are like 10 year olds 10 year
olds as opposed to 16 17 exactly but it is weird that there's never been any pushback about that at all.
I also think it's because it's girls.
Keep going.
That like, if you see young girls being sexualized, like 10, 11, I think we feel weirder about it.
Opposed to?
Like if you see like-
Young guys we're into.
Yeah.
Mark, as a Catholic, tell us how you feel about it.
What is your-
They didn't care about me.
Nobody seems to care.
I was a cutie back then
yeah but like yeah so like in in the same way that like we're more offended by an older man
like approaching or trying to like molest a young girl than a female teacher molesting one of her
young boy yeah like i think we have a different sexual attitude towards men 100 but those shows
are people are kids of the same age hooking up.
Right.
But there's boys involved.
So they're like, ah, it's like.
Ah, because the boy is the same age as the girl, then it's okay.
But if it's only girls that are younger, I feel like that's when people get weird about it.
They do get weird about it.
We have a protective instinct, which we should over women.
Yeah.
Obviously.
But it is interesting that like watching teenagers be sexual is kind of like normal this is
weird you wording to use but i actually think the difference is like puberty if you're in high
school that's happened if you're in cuties it hasn't that's true this is like an actual physical
child you can get a 20 year old everybody's over 18 like you said and gossip girl all these shows
there is no way a 20 year old can be in cuties acting like yo that's a great point we understand that people are sexual after puberty yes right and that is kind of normal because we
went through that and we were that way right and yeah evolutionarily that's you are ready to
reproduce now right right right yeah but even though we don't think that an older person should
do that but we understand so it is a it is relatable we're like i remember being 16 this is what i went through right nobody's watching like oh yeah 16 year olds are
like oh i remember that as yes right yeah but those kids are pre-sex pre-being horny pre-anything
they should not be even introduced to a sexual realm and they're being exploited in that way
yeah and even if the point is yo this is really bad
it still does feel weird to watch it because i know it's bad i don't need you to tell me it's bad
right like is anybody going oh wow exploiting children is bad like i think the message could
be for women that it's not like this idea that where you're you get sexualized or whatever so
early there's
like something fucked up about that whereas i think guys know that i think a lot of women just
kind of grow up with it and they don't like they don't think about it right honestly um i wouldn't
watch the show but i wouldn't watch the show but i don't think there's that much wrong with it
because it's an art depiction of what's actually happening in reality. So because this is actually happening,
there are kids this age doing the exact same things online.
It's actually a window for parents to see like,
hey, this is what your child is doing.
It is a commentary.
And you have to have something to comment on.
Yes, that is a good point.
And I understand that.
And I think that that's why people defend it.
And I'm sure that's what Netflix was thinking.
They're like, yo, this is,
I'm sure that a lot of people were putting this out like, this this is an important piece and we need to expose what these young girls are actually
put through and went through.
Yeah.
But I'm looking at some of like the angles of the shots.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
Somebody had to choose.
Oh yeah.
To zoom in on little girls bodies.
Not like I watched the guy, like a YouTuber do like a compilation, like reaction to it.
Yes.
So he shows all the, like a youtuber do like a compilation like reaction to it yes so he shows
all the like the wild clips yes and it's like three minutes of these little kids twerking and
it's like it's not only like here's a wide shot of girls dancing and there's some twerking going
on then it's that girl's twerking close-up of her butt yeah young girl i think one of the girls has
her top off and they didn't show on youtube
apparently that's what i read i'm not sure that's yeah i don't know also the french are mad with
french are mad weird when it comes to that's another thing oh their age of consent is like
15 they keep trying to drop that shit there's like famous french like philosophers that have
said that what's the guy who's don't point at me i don't know what it is come on there's a but
there's some guy who was saying like the best
pleasure ever as a teenager what is the guy i'm not familiar son you are french and catholic you
definitely got 100 point is it's a it seems to be unnecessary it seems to be egregious yeah
it's already done you could get the point across probably with less probably but in their minds
we're making a commentary again you got to give them something to comment on yeah but i just think i don't think they thought
through how it would actually be received like viscerally it's like i don't want i'm trying to
equate it to something like like a rape scene in a movie yeah i think that's decent like you like
you need to show this like egregious thing that happened in the movie but you don't need to show
all of it i remember there's a game of thrones thing you need the scene and then the shower those are the two things right that like sets it like there's the
rape scene and then the shower what you show the shame after yeah the girl i got you i got you it
sounded crazy off just to say you need the scene and then you need the shower yeah but we don't
think you're not attaching the shower after watching you're not you're not mentioning
my shower and after watching the movie was hot and heavy that's think we're not attaching the shame. after watching the scene. You're not mentioning the shame. Why am I showering
after watching the movie?
It was hot and heavy.
That's what we're wondering, bro.
Yeah.
We're looking at
shower after you wake up?
I don't know.
I just peed.
Yeah, I know.
I think.
Clear that chain bag.
Oh, wow.
I got a crazy topic.
Keep going.
Go, go, go, go, go.
No, no, no.
After this, after this.
Okay, go, go, go.
No, I think we just
misunderstood what you were saying.
Yeah, you need the shower
to show the shame
that she's experiencing after. Yeah, exactly experiencing yeah exactly context you just need the context
around the yeah assault there was actually a scene in game of thrones where jamie raped cersei or
something like that all game of thrones was was racist well this one was like particularly like
non-consensual and there was a lot of pushback but their point was like we're trying to show
the horror of it you can't just avoid it like it doesn't happen. People need to see how awful this is.
And I guess the idea is maybe then anybody who could get turned that way or whatever
would be like, oh, that's a fucking terrible thing to do.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
I don't think many people are going through life like, yeah, it's okay to rape.
And then you see Game of Thrones, you're like, oh, man, I'm not raping.
That's crazy.
Thank God you showed me how bad it was.
And now I know I really shouldn't do it.
Right? I feel like they're picking things we already know are wrong and we have no interest in doing and then acting as if they should get this like pat on the back for
pointing it out hey murder's bad yeah do you know what i mean like and that's almost my my my
annoyance with this whole like everything's a pedophile movement it's like do you think you're
saying something that we don't know right like yeah everybody's against pedophilia yeah 100%
yeah everybody i think maybe the commentary of this is like a large part of like the anti-slut
shaming movement is it's okay for a girl to be sexual i think maybe the comment is cool
have that but there's also there's an age at which it's appropriate and there's an age which when can a girl when can a girl be sexual 18 what age 18 yeah that was the right answer yeah
i wasn't sure what you were gonna say but you said the right no that's a weird thing man as a parent
as a parent you are gonna get to decide when your daughter is gonna sexualize you will try but
girls i mean like what are you really gonna to be able to stop? Don't let her
buy the clothes.
So then they sneak it, they buy it, they
put it in their bag, and then they change it
when they get to school and shit like that.
That's the thing. That's why I feel this show is good
to show people.
I think part of the outrage is because
people were like, wait, what the fuck? This is
happening? I think part of that is that outrage.
Because one, people don't know what's happening, and then two, it's like, wait, what the fuck? This is happening? I think part of that is that outreach. Because one, people don't know
what's happening, and then two, it's like, ew, you're
putting this thing in my face that I'm not,
I don't feel comfortable watching. You don't think people
know that these kids are being sexualized?
I don't think all people know. Why? These apps,
dude, it's fucking horrifying. I don't think all people know. I wasn't aware
of how young it started. Think about all the people that don't know the apps.
Can I tell you some shit that really fucking, it was like,
it broke my heart, dude. I was in Japan,
okay? We're in Japan, okay?
We're in this, I forget the name of the street, but it's a very famous street. It's like where all the Harajuki girls hang out, super packed street.
I mean, like guaranteed Corona.
If this was Corona time, forget it.
You can't even move.
Ramped, okay?
We go downstairs to this like photo booth arcade.
Imagine an arcade, but there's no arcades is just different
photo booths where you can morph your face and your features and it's just teenage japanese girls
in there morphing their facial features to kind of look like anime and like making their lips bigger
and their eyes bigger and making their faces change and you're in there you're like oh this
is just girls doing like fun like little girl shit and then i sat there for a second i'm with my girl i'm like oh this is horrifying they're 14 years old already
picking out everything that's wrong with their face yeah and changing it to have this idealistic
looking face that they'll never be able to achieve they're not gonna be a fucking cartoon they're not
even picking it out that the machine the machine is giving you gotta make this bigger you gotta
change this i mean how fucked up is that like you throw a filter
on your face and then the filter basically goes
yo that's what's fucked up on you
you would look better like this it's crazy
makes your nose thinner
not like why would I know
but like it does all these little
things man so I do agree with
you there is that conversation to be
had I think you can do that without close ups
of a fucking 11 year old girl
you should watch it before you say with you, there is that conversation to be had. I think you can do that without close-ups of a fucking 11-year-old girl.
You should watch it before you say,
yeah, maybe. I'm not going to, but yes, I'm judging it without watching it.
And that's the other tricky thing, is they trick you into watching some shit you don't even want to watch.
Like, I don't, even if
I watch it and I go, I understand the point they're trying
to make, and that's kind of what I'm coming out with right now,
I don't want to have that in my head.
Yeah, absolutely not. I didn't know as
early as it was, 13, 14 even, I'd be like, I guess I could see it. I did not know, she's like fucking six in the movie, I think, I don't want to have that in my head yeah absolutely not i didn't know it was as early as it was 13 14 even i'd be like i guess i could see it i did not know she's like fucking six in
the movie i think i don't know i know i think she's like 11 she looked mad i don't know i don't
know young girls ages i don't care but uh i was like oh it's that early yeah oh it's like elementary
school shit that's crazy yeah like we all watch the epstein documentary i don't think it would
be better with like a reenactment of him abusing a kid yeah like we got the point yeah you just told us what happened and then we're
good yeah i didn't leave it being like well the plane like what was it on the plane show us the
massage yeah how did it work what do you mean his dick was egg-shaped show us the dick yeah that's
so true like you know how they do those reenactments and those like murder shows where like the girls
kill their husbands like this is how it happened it's like we don't need that yeah
yeah it's a weird thing to defend like when people are defending it as like oh some art
pieces like yeah there's a limitation with art yeah not everything got to be art yeah you know
what i mean okay al what was this topic do you want to talk about all right we're gonna take a
break for a second save y'all some money you heard? We're out here trying to save y'all some money.
Akash, ain't nothing Akash loves more than saving money.
Shit makes my dick hard, yo.
Real talk?
Chill out, bro.
I don't even see the hamster run out.
We're not trying to see that hamster run out, dog.
I love business.
I love good deals.
I hear you.
I hear you, my man.
So look, Policy Genius, okay, I think we've talked about Policy Genius to you guys before.
Basically, here's the deal, okay? Policy Genius is going to take care of all of your insurance, okay, I think we've talked about Policy Genius to you guys before. Basically, here's the deal, okay?
Policy Genius is going to take care of all of your insurance, okay?
They're going to bundle it so that you could save money.
How are you going to save money?
You're going to save up to $1,100.
Actually, a little bit more.
I'll round it down.
That's fucked up with me.
Yeah.
That's fucked up with me.
I'll round it down.
It's $1,127 on average.
That's what they're saying.
But still.
$1,127 is a big deal.
$1,127?
Shit.
Boy. I fucked up. Yo, that's a lot. That's a lot. That's my still. $127 is a big deal. $1,127? Shit. Boy.
I fucked up.
Yo, that's a lot.
That's a lot.
That's my bad.
Anyway, point is, you got to save your money.
Listen, what you're going to do, okay?
If you're thinking that you want to save that kind of money, this is what you're going to do.
You're just going to go to Policy Genius.
That's all you have to do, okay?
If you're thinking $1,127 is a weirdly specific amount, then you know what?
You're right.
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Let me tell you something.
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I think you should go save money. Go, talk to us. Let me tell you something. Who knows a weird specific amount that they could save you? I think you should go save money. Go talk to us. Let me tell you something. I try to give
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This is one of the biggest ways you could get got is insurance. They inflate prices. You don't know
what's going on. These guys simplify everything. They can save you money and they'll switch for
you. It is, you have to do this. Go toius.com right now. Save money. Let's get back
to the show. Okay, Al, what was this topic
that you want to talk about? We might need Taylor
for this one. I was hanging out with Weezy over the weekend.
She was
blown away by the discovery
that men don't
pat their dick
after we pee.
What do you mean pat?
She and then we quizzed about 10 other women
who all thought the same thing,
think that men, after we pee,
take toilet paper and dry off the tip of our dick.
No, because there's pee is still in there for a long time.
Yeah.
Yeah, why would we do such a thing?
Because that's what they do.
They wipe their pussies.
Sometimes you wipe your pussy too hard
and a little piece of toilet paper balls up
and it ends up in your pussy.
Did you think at all that men did that?
Did you think, like, even before sex?
No, I didn't think so.
Oh, really?
Oh, you mean before sex?
Like, right before sex.
We go to pee and then do you think we dab it?
Let me ask you a question.
Have you ever seen a urinal?
Yeah.
Have you ever seen a roll of toilet paper in front of it?
That blew their mind.
It blew their mind, yo.
Just look at the bathroom.
The bathroom's not designed for it.
We shake it up and down.
But maybe they just don't care about y'all because y'all are men.
I don't know.
I just didn't.
You don't think about our dicks a lot.
Yeah.
I don't think the-
Bullshit.
We wear a pair of sweatpants.
All these girls passing around me.
Oh, you got a hammer.
So now...
I heard that happens to other dudes.
What is that?
I heard that happens to other dudes sometimes.
Yo, you know our cause when you wear the shorts.
Stop being bashful, son.
You muffined up right now. We see you, bro.
Yo, I'm muffined up right now, bro.
Hey, don't cross that shit.
You know I'm struggling, bro.
Let that shit breathe.
Let that muffin breathe.
Come on, son.
Let that shit go.
Squeeze that little hamster right there.
You got the hamster.
You got the hamster, bro.
The hammy.
Come on, man.
Show it to the people.
I like you more like a lab mouse.
Nah, you shit is a gerbil.
It needs to go right up in Richard Gere's asshole.
That's what it needs.
Come on.
Be proud. Akash always plays down his dick. Yeahere's asshole. That's what it needs. Come on.
Be proud.
Akash always plays down his dick.
Yeah, I know.
And this guy got the fucking piece, bro.
Be honest.
Be honest, bro.
Be honest.
Only one woman will know.
Sorry, Taylor.
Wow. I mean, wouldn't your mom know, too?
Yeah, that's a good point.
Your mom would know.
My mom hasn't seen me post-puberty naked.
Yeah, but your shit was probably you know
yeah
equally as big
for the time
you probably had
big baby dick bro
I mean we don't gotta
we don't gotta
cuties reenact it
but I think
you were probably
packing back in the day bro
that fucking Cobra Kai bro
yeah you might have had that
yo
you really might have had
that fucking wang
I don't think so
what
I don't think so
well it's no fun if you want to just be normal
either push back real hard or roll with it
don't be objective about your dick size over here we're trying to blow you up bro
we're trying to say they were just dragging your dick out of your mom like the clown
shit yeah yeah yeah they swaddled you and then your dick after.
And then they swaddled.
They almost cut your dick off thinking it was the afterbirth.
They almost cut off half of your dick.
They're like, nah, it's just an afterbirth.
And you were like, nah, whip that shit back.
Indiana Jones.
Indian Jones.
Yeah, Indian Jones.
Yo, you were Indian Jones back in the day, man.
You know what I mean?
Real talk, man.
Be proud of yourself.
You're right, dog.
You're right.
Repeat after me. I have pride. I have know what I mean? Real talk, man. Be proud of yourself. You're right, dog. You're right. Repeat after me.
I have pride.
I have pride.
I have power.
I have power.
I'm a badass mother.
I'm a badass mother.
That don't take no shit from nobody.
That don't take no shit from nobody.
What is this, from school running?
Damn right, bro.
Damn right, bro.
That's what I'm talking about.
Big Dick sing.
Make these ladies sing with that big dick
you're not playing games over here it's icons bro it's motherfucking icons wearing shorts in fall
shit taylor you still high
yeah right you are okay al so this is the this is for all you ladies listening because we know we got a lot of lady assholes out there.
We do not dab our dicks.
We actually shake and jiggle our dicks.
Yeah.
I used to do a joke about this back in the day, but it is true.
As you get older, we have way less control of the urine in our dicks.
So you don't know about this yet, Mark, but once you get to my ripe age, you pee, you stop peeing, you shake your dick like crazy, you put your dick in your pants, and then you start peeing again.
That's how it works.
So there's always a couple more drips after.
Oh, yeah.
I know the drips.
And so now the girls were outraged because they now know that all this time they have been drinking a little piss every time they see me.
Oh, every time you give a guy a head, you drank a little pee.
Every time.
Every single time. Grow up, ladies. give a guy a head, you drank a little pee. Every time. Every single time.
Grow up, ladies.
Grow up.
Grow the fuck up.
And put your mouth on his dick.
Take a whole cast of cuties that shit.
That's what you need to do.
Go, go.
No, I said call me when you grow up.
I said grow up.
Twist that on me.
You got a couple drops of pee.
Big deal.
Grow the fuck up.
Yo, real talk.
When we go down on y'all.
Yep, keep going.
I followed up with that.
Y'all just got a cavern.
Y'all got a cavern.
When you pee, you don't have a directional pee.
You ever seen a girl pee?
It just falls out of you.
Yeah.
Right?
It just falls out.
Oh, yo, that's right.
The P is not direct.
You can't spell your name with no fucking P if you're a girl.
You have no control of your P.
Your P just falls out.
Pop, water balloon, explosion.
That's all it is.
You cannot control that urine.
Okay?
That being said, it's going all over your puss.
And I know you try to wipe it with the toilet paper or wipe it with a tissue.
Half-ass attempt.
You think it's going to soak up in your panties.
Well, no.
Some of your pussies snatch clothes.
Not all your pussies open and welcome to the world not all your pussies that outgoing yep not all your
pussies look like jesus on the cross some of your pussies a little wrapped up some of your pussies
looking like mother mary some of your pussies got the shawl over them they got the shawl they got
afghan covered some of your p got the shawl over them. They got the shawl. They got an afghan covered.
Some of your pussy's Muslim.
Taylor, not going into yours.
That'd be disrespectful.
I'm just saying there are girls out there that their shit's completely closed.
They close up.
You didn't even know there was a pussy.
If in the dark, they might need to redirect your penis into it
because you keep missing and banging on the lips.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Sometimes that might happen.
If they're so close and snap shut, it's really a booby trap.
Have you ever seen that in the movies where they have the hole
and then they cover it with some branches and they cover it with some leaves
and then you're running and you don't realize it.
You fall right into it. That's your pussy.
Only you don't fall right into it. You just smash around
it until they grab your dick and then serve for them.
That's all I'm trying to say.
There is urine all up over them
lips. That was mad graphics.
What?
I feel like I'm watching QT.
Fucking talk about Venus fly
trap pussy. Why y'all acting like you never stab some pussy and you miss
uh never every time you push that's the only way i fuck wait wait go on put that shit in for me bro
oh come on dog come on homie yo you can stuff it in, homie. Hey, player. Hey, player. Why don't you guide me a little bit, player?
Grab hold of the wheel.
You know what I mean?
We getting lost over here.
That's when you got to put on the iPhone flashlight.
Like you dropped a headphone or some shit.
Trying to find that shit.
Hold on one second.
Stay there.
Stay there.
Breathe out real hard.
Breathe out real hard.
Open it up real quick.
Hold your nose and breathe out real hard breathe out real hard open it up real quick hold your nose and breathe out yo taylor is it true if you go like this like that that the pussy lips just open up yeah like
one of those like it's a birthday thing like one of the new year's things is that true taylor
you never you never sneeze with your nose closed and your pussy just open up real quick and then snatch closed?
Never once happened?
Happy New Year's?
You never Happy New Year's?
You never Happy New Year's?
The balls never drop.
Oh, my God.
Oh, shit.
Anyway, what else we got, man?
Your flashlight's still on.
Oh, there you go.
I turned that shit off. But thank you, my good sir. What else we got, man? Your flashlight's still on. Oh, there you go. I turned that shit off.
But thank you, my good sir.
What else we got, man?
What else we talking about this week, man?
Oh, we got Disney threatens to pull out of Georgia abortion bill.
Yo, this shit was mad funny, sir.
Oh, yeah.
This shit is so...
Martita said...
But how's this...
Based on Mulan, yeah.
Al got confused by the words pull out.
He said, what?
I don't understand this concept at all
What could this be?
When I was describing the threshold shit
He was so confused
Pull out and abortion go together?
I don't even
What is happening?
Easy
Easy
Easy
Oh Mark
Al how does it feel when you pull out?
Do you feel like you fucked up? What does it feel like you pull out do you feel like you fucked up
what does it feel like you never pulled out son i pull out all the time you do all the time all
right god bless grace for my god i need to be serious i'll call like abe shroff you know what
i'm saying you've been lifting i'll get fat you're not you're fucking i'm getting fat in this you're not getting fat yeah that dirt the hamster bro
the hamster
the hammy
oh shit okay okay go go go all right so okay basically i saw some people criticizing disney
i didn't fact check it so there's more more feelings. But basically, Disney was threatening Georgia
after Georgia passed a controversial abortion bill
banning certain abortions at a certain time.
So it was abortions that were after three months?
I think it was the heartbeat.
It was the heartbeat bill.
When does the heartbeat start?
I think like 24 days.
So I think I'm not positive.
Dumb early.
How do you even know you missed your period?
That's a good point.
Period is 28 days.
You just hear that shit.
You're laying in bed.
It's boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
What the fuck is that?
But then it's too late.
Is there a hand through my pussy?
What the fuck?
Son.
But then it's too late.
You feel the heartbeat.
Baby got a heartbeat.
That is the thing, bro.
It's like
you need to miss the period
to know you're pregnant
and you need to have
a couple extra days
because you know
these girls can't count to 28
their period's always off
why is it girls
can't get their period right
every single month
oh my period's late
no
you can't count
I could probably tell you
when that shit is coming
say what
I could probably tell you
when that shit is coming
when is it coming
she be in an extra pain
in the ass right now
baby is it bedtime
it must be bedtime we we can yell that a lot does your girl
really react differently around her period nah before and then ms how did you say it to me like
i was a fucking retard and i was like oh that's just marketing because then they get pms then
they get ms yeah and then sometimes they get AMS. What is AMS?
Afterward, they still crank it for a couple of days.
Damn.
It's like a fucking honeymoon, dude.
Jeez.
Never ends.
I literally just got angry when you said that.
I literally just got angry when you said that.
Harry Potter ride.
Harry Potter ride.
I want it to be dead.
I want it to be dead.
Harry Potter ride.
Harry Potter ride.
I'm going to throw the microphone at Mark.
I'm going to hurt Mark, bro.
He married.
I'm going to hurt Mark.
I'm going to fucking hurt this kid, bro.
He's getting disoriented. I'm getting physical, bro. I'm going to start. That's what I'm doing now that you're a fucking married I'm gonna hurt Mark I'm gonna fucking hurt this kid I'm getting physical bro
I'm gonna start
that's what I'm doing
now that you a fucking
grown adult
you're gonna get physical
I'm getting physical bro
Mark
don't you take out a gun
Mark
oh shit
Mark
yo this guy has changed bro
remember how fucking
kind and generous
and sweet he was
yo two months in Florida
he's a man now
I'm jaded
he's a man now
yo did you get Mark a gift?
I didn't get him nothing yet.
Oh,
fuck.
You got him a gift.
My bad.
I didn't get him a gift.
No,
we both planned to get you a gift
when we got back.
Oh,
thank you.
No,
I planned on giving you
a dope gift,
bro.
Bro,
you did give me a gift.
And then you missed honeymoon.
You gave me a great gift,
bro.
You know what the gift is?
I paid you when you were
on your fucking honeymoon.
Yeah,
I know.
That's the only thing
that you're going to get.
It's a great gift.
It is a fucking good gift,
but I was about to ball out
on this little motherfucker.
I sent you a gift.
I was about to ball out
on this little motherfucker.
I'm just so glad
you reminded me.
Yo, he made me step on my gift
because I was like,
he didn't say what he was going to give,
but I was like,
I know it's going to be wild.
So I was about to ball out.
Yo, you know what?
I Venmo'd this motherfucker
from another wedding.
Did he say something?
Nothing.
I just realized
I didn't even get a thank you.
He actually gave me this gift. Hey, yo Did he say something? Nothing. I just realized I ain't even gonna thank you.
He actually can't get this day.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, yo.
I legit was like,
does this motherfucker not have Venmo?
I don't understand how.
No, I saw it like yesterday
and I forgot.
I'm sorry.
That's a lot I forgot.
That's a lot I forgot.
I'm gonna use the archives later.
You tell me what you did
so I can go a little less.
Can I tell you one thing?
I knew at the wedding that he was supposed to tell me, but he knew about the thing, but
he wasn't going to tell me.
I knew.
How?
The interaction.
Oh, shit.
I knew it.
You were hiding it.
I knew you were hiding it.
It was in your soul.
I knew it, too.
Damn, why you got to blow me?
I'm trying not to blow your ass up.
So, I'm sorry. I'm going to be honest. I knew it too. Damn, why you got to blow me? I'm trying not to blow your ass up. So, I'm sorry.
I'm going to be honest.
I knew it too.
I'm going to be honest.
I'm going to just keep it above review.
All of us knew.
I'm sorry.
Not all of us.
So, he comes to me at the wedding.
I felt so bad for him.
I felt so bad.
My bad, yo.
My bad.
My bad.
So, he comes to me.
This is right after.
I don't know how to feel.
He actually. I don't know how to feel. He actually.
I don't know how to feel right now.
But he was nervous because he actually FaceTimed me before his wedding.
Okay.
To ask how he should approach it.
Wait.
Oh, this is before?
Oh, shit.
You knew?
No.
I knew.
Oh, no, no.
I want to see how many lies he's told.
I want to see how many lies.
When did he FaceTime you before?
My gosh, he's trying.
Fuck all y'all.
Keeping me out of the loop. I almost forgot to say fuck y'all. I was just milking the moment. he's trying to kill me right now a bunch of benedict arnold's all of you i didn't know he didn't take my advice you know what he told me saturday before his wedding
what did i say i wished him i said hey man congratulations i'm very happy for you facetime
and he was like yo first of all does my beard look ridiculous or no?
And I lied and said it did not.
My man had a full Puerto Rican.
And then he was like,
also,
my anger levels have reached
the same as last week.
How do I tell Andrew?
And I was like,
yo,
you should just tell him.
Just be straight up.
That's beautiful.
Andrew will celebrate love.
And this motherfucker,
I find out Monday,
didn't tell you,
tell you he's flying out,
but I didn't want to blow up his spot.
I texted him.
So if I would have come to work ready with my pen and paper school I
would have known and I would have been here by myself mark fuck you fuck you
but did you know I did tell Taylor nah nah so I didn't fully know
nah he actually
he didn't tell me
I'm lying
oh my god
thank god
at least I have one
homeboy left
he didn't tell me either
alright go
you sell out
he did call me
about a horrible ass
lineup though
so he just came
up to me
my bad my bad
real estate prices
dropping
you know what I'm saying
we might need to you know what I'm saying we might need to get out of there we might take advantage
we might take advantage i don't have to worry about mark's morality ever again
garbage go on garbage human being go um nah so he just came up to me like at the ceremony after
and like the dancing part whatever that perception yeah there you go yeah so and he's like damn um do you know if i could like maybe like stay a couple more days and i was
like i mean it's it's your wedding just like i asked you and he's like yeah yeah i'm gonna
and i was it this is right after he told me I'll be honest with you if you would just ask me
I would have said no
yeah
so you did the right thing
I know
you did the right thing
you know what is the fact
Andrew's
one of his big sayings is
it's better to ask forgiveness
than permission
yeah
but he didn't do neither
do you forgive me
motherfucker
didn't do neither
I had to ask him
well that's what people
don't realize about that quote
there's a third option
okay what is it
do nothing do nothing and that's what I did but realize about that quote there's a third option okay what is it do nothing
do nothing
and that's what I did
but hang out at the beach
the beach right by your house
like it's a beach you've been to
that ain't a honeymoon
that's my point
it's not a honeymoon
thank you
motherfucker
this works for a
not even a honeymoon
just a moon
I respect it
I respect it
don't support that
I need that
don't support it
I'm going on a long ass
honeymoon too
my god right up the block you see what you started Don't support that. Yeah, I need that. Don't support it. I'm going on a long ass honeymoon too. My God, bro.
Right up the block.
You see what you started?
Right around Long Island City.
I will get married and divorced just for the honeymoon.
No, he's going to start coming in late, bro.
I'm on my honeymoon right now, bro.
You're having a little honey brunch.
It's a pre-honeymoon.
Let me finish my honey brunch and I'll meet you when we're going to do that.
Honey brunch.
Son, it's unbelievable. Give me, okay, so back to disney right you fucks okay so so disney is like yo we're pulling out of georgia right i was pulling out that we got a piece of shit mark
piece of garbage yeah he pulled out of a week of work mark mark mark i swear to god okay so
they go yo we're pulling out if you guys keep this bill going, right?
Yeah.
Because they're taking a moral high ground.
You know, as most companies do because corporations are super woke and there's in no way any hypocrisy
attached to a corporation.
No, they believe their shit.
And their activism.
They really are truly about that life.
So, they also happen to be making this movie Mulan.
Are you familiar with Mulan?
I am familiar with the cartoon Mulan.
Yes.
It's like Chinese Joan of Arc.
Yes.
Right?
Does she pretend to be a guy too?
Yep.
Yep.
Really?
Yeah.
Easier for her?
Yeah.
Finally? Okay. Back to Mulan. Back to muran back to muran what what did i do i didn't do anything
back to so they are making this movie now mark where are they making this movie it's a live
action version of of the cartoon where they? Certain scenes were filmed in China.
They were filmed in China.
Interesting.
And where in China?
Maybe the Shenzhou region?
Yep.
And now the Shenzhou region, I don't know if you're familiar with this.
I'm unfamiliar.
Okay.
Gosh, well, let me just tell you because I was completely unfamiliar too.
Okay.
And I'm sure Disney had no clue as well.
They're not making this movie by any way to pander to the chinese movie market which is a
you know huge movie market now there's no way are they doing that they're just recreating movies
that they really like yeah yeah care about absolutely 100 no dollar signs attached to this
so come on she's doing right well shinzu is home to a group of chinese muslims called the uyghurs
oh have you heard of them i have heard of them well you gotta hear about them now because they're
going extinct okay china's getting rid of them okay adios putting them in concentration camps
can you imagine the levels of concentration coming out of a concentration bro taylor
see how distracted you are right now because you high you're playing attention exactly point is
point is you all for one on sentences right now you know that yo you're a really brilliant
idiot sailor today yo you need to bring back flagrant concentrate yo you need to concentrate
listen you need to concentrate because it's a choice there are some parts of the world where
you got to concentrate because Because you're Chinese.
Because you're Chinese, man.
Real talk.
They got them in concentration camps.
That's wild.
I know.
Ripping them off the streets.
Removing their religion.
Removing their rights.
How could they possibly
film a movie in a place
where people's rights are being stripped
and their lives taken away
and their freedom? I'm they're free to be.
I'm sure they didn't know.
This probably isn't a news story that anybody knows about.
You're right.
It was probably super nuanced or something like that.
Very nuanced.
You know.
I hear you.
I'm sure the news hides this kind of thing.
Yeah.
You know what?
You're probably right.
You're probably right about that.
But it is shocking that a corporation would do this.
It is shocking.
Absolutely shocking.
I personally always have good faith in corporations.
Yo, I mean-
They're moral people.
Moral.
Their bottom line is to morality and activism, not to their shareholders.
Absolutely.
Right?
Absolutely.
Kind of?
Absolutely.
No.
Are we losing the game?
No, no, no.
Are we locked in the game?
What is it?
The responsibility?
What did they say?
The corporation's responsibility is always to the shareholder.
Yes.
Or something like that.
That's what I was talking about.
Obviously, we're being sarcastic, and this is, once again, absolutely ridiculous, and
these fucking celebs are absolutely ridiculous.
Performative wokeness.
Same thing's happening in Hollywood right now.
Did you see the new requirements to have an Oscar? Oh, yeah. The new requirements to to have like an oscar oh yeah requirements to
have an emmy you have to do this like it has to be super like diverse cast and all this other
kind of shit what i don't understand is why the performative action because people will still
support you you just got to appease people who will give you money but if people aren't watching
the woke shit right why continue to make it?
That I don't get.
And that's what always bothered me about it is I can understand it's show business.
That's what we're always told.
Yes.
But when the business isn't productive being woke, then you should change your business.
That's what I don't understand.
The Daily Show ratings have been dog shit since Jon Stewart left.
Right.
But you keep this show afloat even though it does bad business
with its performative
super left wokeness.
Yeah.
It's bad for business.
Why are you letting it do this?
Why is this your anchor show
for this network?
Do you think that they're so
like locked in their bubble
in Hollywood
that they don't realize
the rest of the world hates them?
I do think that about actors.
But the people funding the movies.
Can I say one thing, bro?
I can't say the guy's name
because I got to, you know,
look out for my dude.
Not my dude. I don't know. but i have actors hit me up yeah complaining about this kind of shit right they can't say anything publicly because they're working within that sphere
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I have actors hit me up yeah complaining about this kind of shit
right
they can't say anything publicly
because they're working within
that sphere
but they're like
this is absolute bullshit
they
we can't believe it
like actors that you would know
right
not like guys who can't get work
you can tell me off the podcast
off the podcast
I'll tell you
and I would say it
but I don't want to disrespect my team
and you don't want to snitch on anybody
right
but they're calling out how stupid it is and i'm just like
yo what is the deal why are they doing this performative shit like if you're a government
i understand you can do performative acts to better the lives of certain groups of people
because you don't have to rely on making money right but if you're a business you have to make
money now that these things are not making money eventually you're gonna run out of money yeah
eventually you're gonna have to make some shit
that people want to consume.
And I keep waiting for that tipping point
and they just happen.
When the fuck is it going to happen?
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
It's mind boggling to me.
I mean,
we keep benefiting from their stupidity
because people keep finding us.
I love it.
But I just don't
from a business standpoint.
I'm like,
what are y'all doing?
I understand show business.
This is bad business.
Now,
I will say though,
like,
I think there's a subset
if you wanted to make a movie about like some disability shit because I will say, though, like, I think there's a subset.
If you wanted to make a movie about, like, some disability shit because you're like,
oh, no one looked like me and you're able to, like, help someone and you want to do it as, like, an art project, then, yeah, go do it.
But to try to create, like, some sort of, like, legislation or, like.
If it's authentic, I'm with it.
Yeah, exactly.
If it is business.
What are you talking about with disability?
What do you mean?
Like, I was was talking my sister who
works with this kid who doesn't have an arm okay he was like oh when i was a kid there was this
movie about a kid that didn't have an arm and i liked it yes even though the movie wasn't that
successful it was just a movie about a kid that have an arm he's like oh yeah it's like me it
felt good yeah yeah like when you said with aladdin you're like it was cool to see someone
that kind of looked like you close enough yes that's what that's how i felt with jason williams
yeah people think white people don't have that feeling but like the basketball player jason It was cool to see someone that kind of looked like you. Close enough, I'll take it. That's how I felt with Jason Williams.
People think white people don't have that feeling,
but the basketball player Jason Williams, I was like,
oh, sick, there's a guy who plays basketball in a way I kind of play basketball.
So it was cool to see everybody has that feeling.
Everybody wants to relate.
I think that we get lost in this idea where since white people are the executive roles in a lot of these companies, I think that maybe, I can't speak for you,
but maybe minorities think that we get excited by that no white people are going yeah we're the refs
yeah that's my favorite ref i feel represented yeah that's the owner there are definitely arenas
where white people like oh shit it's cool to see this but like it's a different one like you never
saw this 100 so that's what we're saying you guys definitely go through it though i understand i
think everybody goes through it when you like an industry that doesn't have someone
that's kind of like you in it.
Eminem meant something to a lot of people.
So many white people say he's the greatest rapper ever.
He's great, but they cling to greatest ever because that's their guy.
This is finally, I've been listening to this music my whole life.
Finally, a guy that looks like me in this field.
That's good.
Yes.
That's good.
Yes.
So, and great. He's great. Like that's the yeah yes that's good yes so and great he's great like
that's the guy that's our guy everybody does yeah you feel something like i don't know is it more
entitlement do you feel like you feel like you belong it's like it's seeing a brown person on
in american movies and stuff i was always like holy shit that means something to me that's me
you know what's you know what's dope about uh olympics for that reason is that like when you
watch the olympics you get to take part in that person's success as an american yeah like within
the country you're all chopped up into these little teams and groups right you know you're
indian you know like i'm white alex is black but latino like mark is catholic and like maybe when
a catholic does something cool you know what i mean maybe i don't know i don't know if you do they talk about that shit they do
yeah they'll be like oh yeah like this catholic guy or like they used to talk about like the
supreme court there's a ton of catholics in the supreme court they're like look at us oh because
uh scalia was yeah exactly talk about like catholic schools boom so there's like this like
cool like i guess a little tribalism everybody gets in their tribe right taylor you might see
a black woman do something that you represent or like you respect and you're like oh that kind of represents me that's dope right
but the cool thing about the olympics is in it's kind of similar to war which is like when you're
competing against other bigger tribes yes we all put our shit all our differences fade right and
we're just like all right is he nice yeah is he the fastest i don't care he's asian he's indian
he's black he's white whatever just put him out there He's Asian. He's Indian. He's black. He's white. Whatever. Just put him out there. Let's do it.
Meritocracy.
We didn't know who Apollo Ono was.
Remember that guy who was a speed skater?
Michael Phelps.
I don't know who the fuck he was.
Michael Phelps, goofy ass.
Looked like me.
You ever make fun of somebody the way they look and then people start saying you look
like them?
Yes, that has happened to me.
And you feel fucking humiliated?
Yeah, that has happened to me.
That guy's mouth doesn't close.
How does he swim?
The guy has a hole in the boat it's just
unbelievable so uh but it's just a cool thing about the olympics man it's like for a second
we get to take back and we get to all have pride yeah in what was created and i think the reason
why it's okay to do that is because like it came we came up within the american system
you know it's like
there was that time where uh in it was the world cup i think france won the world cup right and
there was all this conversation like yeah but it won with all african guys right but yes maybe that
their dna their genes were african but you have to credit the french system that they came up under
and they taught them and tutelage and the training and all these things that they didn't get
in those african countries and if the french people celebrate them that's a huge win for
diversity in france everybody should want that you should want people that don't look like they're
from that country to do to excel so then they feel more accepted in that country probably yeah
don't say this is africa winning if you're french don't do that because why would they embrace
france yeah yeah and also the other thing and and also don't allow someone to remove your
patriotism from you yeah i don't like that like you are in time you can't say we want the rights
and respect that we are deserved as citizens of this country and have a goal to reject the country
does that make sense like you should be allowed to be patriotic yeah and not call the sellout for
that but embrace for that yeah and then when the arrangement when the deal that all of us as
citizens with the country is not met by the country then we hold the country accountable yeah well
said but you do not have to to sell your patriotism or like give up your patriotism like it's a
beautiful fucking thing right yeah and i is something i noticed when i'm watching football this weekend where i'm seeing all these guys some
of them kneeling some of them standing all holding hands and all this other stuff and i'm like
yo did we actually come to a really cool conclusion here like did we come to a place and i'm not
talking about like the performative shit the nfl did i'm literally talking about the players
standing next to each other some holding hands some of the hands with hearts some of them kneeling
and they're all together and it's like oh we just realized that you could treat different things.
You could treat the same thing in different ways and it can all be respectful.
Yeah.
It took us four years.
Yeah.
And blackballing Kaepernick.
Yeah.
But we got to what I think is a pretty cool place.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think representation is important in that way.
Yeah.
However, what makes the Academy Awards thing or the Oscar thing where they say you have to have certain things frustrating is that it seems like they are requiring or forcing representation.
I feel like you're taking pity on me personally when you do that.
And it's like, I don't want that.
How about this though, Makash?
How about this?
Instead of making the requirement for the movie that the actors have to be a certain whatever why stop at actors
the producers of the studio have to have diversity on their boards because what is it 90 we did it
when we did it yeah 98 of executives on uh in the studios in hollywood for different studio
companies i'm talking about the studios,
the company that makes the actual movie.
Yeah, there's no black presidents except Spike Lee.
I think Spike Lee was the only one.
And he made his own company.
Of his own.
I mean, Tyler Perry, I imagine, has a studio as well,
but he made his own.
So there's no black presidents of any of these companies.
So why don't you put that performative racism,
sorry, performative activism to task on yourself because they don't
care about activism they care about money
no no no it's not money oh gosh
it's protecting their little seat
boy band exactly so what I
think that they're doing is going if we
if we
put diversity in these little roles that are
replaceable that we don't care about we can keep
hiring our friends yeah have this little boys
well yeah I agree.
Just to be accurate,
they do have other standards.
It's standard B that has creative leadership
and in the project team.
And then they also have another standard C,
industry access and opportunities.
So it's not just actors and in front screen people.
It's like more access for diversity.
But executive board.
Like I want the executive board.
The highest, highest level. Because with with the highest highest level right the real change
makers and it seems to me that it's all performative activism to protect their shit
right it's like oh yeah let the athletes be the ones that are sponsoring that we're sponsoring
and that let them be the face of the company but don't put them on a board yep al you're black
that i am speak for all. Speak for every one of them.
No, seriously, though.
What do you feel when you see this?
And the same thing with Farakash.
It's like you guys benefit from these measures.
So I'm sure on some part you're like, well, this is dope because I get a piece of the pie.
And on the other part, you're like, well, you don't have to pity me.
I could get mine.
You guys are hustlers.
So I'm curious what your.
Well, I mean, it's for minorities, women, LGBT.
Women got snuck into this.
They got snuck into it as well.
So it's like.
How do you sneak them?
It's basically.
Women of color, I'll give you.
Everybody except non-white men.
No.
Don't talk about my queens, bro.
Don't talk about my queens, bro.
Yeah, my bad.
My white Nubian queens
My bad
Taylor just stop being high all of a sudden
She snapped right out of it
You ruined her high
It's all good bro
We got all different types of Nubian queens
What does Nubian even mean?
I think it means all lives matter
Is that true?
Is that Swahili for all lives matter?
I thought that was a Swahili translation
Real talk, that's what's up man
I thought it was like when you just turned lesbian
You can shoot me bro
Y'all can shoot me
Y'all can all shoot me
We need guns bro
We need guns
Yo, you're a Nubian
Yo, you're a Nubian
You're a lesbian You're a Nubian It's ancient Egypt.
White people.
What?
What?
You don't think white people...
So? It's funny.
You don't think white people built the pyramids, bro?
White people wouldn't build the pyramids.
Why would they build them like that?
It's not white people that did it.
Yes, it did.
White people built the pyramids.
They came down from the Caucasus Mountains.
Yeah.
Yo, white people love pyramids.
It's our favorite thing.
$10,000 pyramid.
Just a game we used to play. The schemes. The pyramid schemes. We love pyramids. It's our favorite thing. $10,000 pyramid. Just a game we used to play.
The schemes.
The pyramid schemes.
We love pyramids.
It's true.
You ever see what a diamond looks like upside down?
You ever see what a diamond looks like upside down?
What is it?
A pyramid.
Yo, what's on the dollar bill?
Pyramid.
I'm seeing what you mean because I'm high.
I'm just
saying. White people built the pyramids.
It's the whitest shit to do. Just build
something for nothing.
I see what you're saying.
That's why I was laughing.
Who built sandcastles on the beach?
White people.
We'd be building shit for no reason.
Fuck, I didn't know. Black people build all
this shit. So don't do that.
Black people build.
Okay?
That's not...
I'm not saying y'all don't build.
Y'all build.
But Mexicans build.
That's a fact.
Let's be honest, bro.
That's a fact.
If you need some shit built,
are you going to Jamal or Javier?
Both of them could be.
I don't know.
I'm not.
No.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
If you need some soul food cooked, who are you going for?
Jamal's mom or Javier's mom?
Keep it real.
Keep it 100.
Keep it 100.
I'm not playing this game with you.
If you needed a pyramid, Bill.
If you needed a pyramid, Bill, who would you go to? I'm not playing this game with you. If you needed a pyramid built, if you needed a pyramid built,
who would you go to?
I'm not playing this game.
You gonna go to some Egyptians?
I'm not playing this game with you.
Yes.
Why?
Because they live there.
They haven't built nothing since.
What does that mean,
they live there?
Yeah.
I live in places I can't build shit.
Thank you.
You know what I mean?
Exactly, Taylor.
You Rami?
You look like he can build some pyramids.
Rami not building nothing.
Who?
Rami.
You don't even know Egyptian kings, yo.
Yeah, he's a real Egyptian king right now.
What's the other guy?
Malik.
He's Rami too.
It's only Ramis that are coming out of Egypt.
Rami and Rami Malik.
Yep.
Both Egyptian.
Can't even lift the bar.
You don't even put no weights on the side of that shit.
Come on now.
Rami would make a great documentary about the building of the pyramids
He could document building those pyramids beautifully
Fucking gorgeous
The significance
Have some great lighting
A questionable beard
Shouts to Rami
We love you dog
We love you Rami
Come on the podcast
Yeah
When Hulu allows it
When Hulu frees you Free Rami After Emmy season come on the podcast yeah when hulu allows it hulu frees you free rami yo
emmy season come on yeah after season pull up you can't be associated with us if you want them
awards that's true that's if you don't win the emmy now that they've restructured it so only
you could win the fucking if you don't win his emmy bro this is gonna be unbelievable embarrassed
that'd be embarrassing yo does it count less if you win an academy award now as a minority does it count less you know how like asians gpa counts less because we expect
asians to do so well at least harvard does that yeah indian 4.0 is like a white people
hey watch your fucking mouth you might be right but watch your mouth but that's true and asian
1600 on the sats whatever yo it's not worth as much as a white 1500 probably that's true. An Asian, 1,600 on the SATs. Whatever, yo. It's not worth as much as a white 1,500 probably.
That's white privilege.
Back to the Academy Award thing.
I do like the fact that they're finally doing something about representation there.
Because when you look at any one of those awards, the whole shit is white.
Like the majority of most of the winners, the majority of the people there in the audience are white.
Because it's just gay, bro.
The whole thing is a fucking sham, dog. understand i understand all of that i'm just saying i'm just saying all these
like i always see people be upset but they don't win an oscar they don't win like an emmy you see
these like rappers who like literally create the culture dictate culture they create the whole way
that people are dressing acting vernacular people are, and then some white stiff that's 70 years old
doesn't say, I like your album,
and they have a freakout over it.
Who the fuck cares?
You would never give a fuck
about that white guy's opinion at any other point in time.
Especially in music.
I don't know who has any Grammys.
It helps them get paid more.
I got no fucking clue.
I love it when they did the sippy cup shit.
Yo, but it helps them get paid more.
Jay-Z was like, oh, we got a sippy cup for blue.
Yeah.
If you're an Academy Award winner, you get paid more. No, if you're an Academy Award winner, you're broke afterwards. No, you get paid more. Jay-Z was like, oh, we got a sippy cup for blue. Yeah. If you're an Academy Award winner, you get paid more.
No, if you're an Academy Award winner, you're broke afterwards.
No, you get paid more.
Hilary Swank.
What are you?
I don't know.
She won.
Like, there is a thing that happens where, like, a lot of people win Academy Awards,
and then their careers don't do anything, because the movies that end up winning are
these, like, artsy, goofy shits that nobody really gives a fuck or watches.
Even Jamie Foxx after Ray.
I don't remember him popping, like, crazy movie after movie after movie. but i'm pretty sure you can demand more after you're in academy i'd rather be an
independence day than the artist 100 any day of the week blockbuster but transformers dog i don't
need to be in the fucking i just i hate the fact that it's what's the bitch who was fucking the
seaweed guy this fucking guy what i hate the fact that it's forced but i just like that they're trying to do something yeah you like the fake effort behind it i like the effort behind it i just like that it's forced
effort sorry sorry sorry to cut you but you really want um black stories to be told or different
minority stories to be told then put the people that are green lighting those stories put people
of those minorities in position to greenlight those stories.
Yeah, I agree with that too.
So then just change it up at the top.
It's trickled down with this shit.
Oh, okay.
You put black people-
But that's what I'm saying.
They haven't done either.
So the fact that they're trying to do something-
He'll take a half measure over no measure.
Yeah.
That's fair.
I hear you.
That's all I'm saying.
I'm just saying it's the wrong measure.
What's the blackest channel on network television right now?
Most likely BET.
ABC, right?
Network.
I'm saying network.
Obviously BET. But. ABC, right? Network. I'm saying network. Obviously BET.
But probably BET, right?
Or no, probably ABC, right?
President of ABC?
Black woman.
Black woman.
That's all it is, bro.
You put the people of those races
in positions of power
to green light their stories,
they will green light those stories.
But if you don't change that,
all this shit down here,
performative.
It's cute.
People can get some money, but it's not going to be long-term change.
And to her credit, probably the only shows on network TV that are doing well right now-ish.
All them issues is killing.
All them issues is killing, bro.
They had How to Get Away with Murder.
They had another, what was it?
Scandal.
Shonda.
Shonda.
Shonda let them know what was capable, I think.
What's possible.
Nah, but real talk.
Talking about like performative measures.
Did you see that performance that was done this past weekend on that podcast?
Oh, when we got the one hour special about us?
Yeah.
Finally got a special.
Yo, we got a one hour special, bro.
It was a performance.
It was a performance all right.
Shout out to the Joe Budden podcast for doing a one hour special on us, man.
We appreciate the time.
I wish we didn't get so under his skin.
I understand the 250 million thing really got to him.
Yeah.
That wasn't the intention.
I'm on record during that clip.
I said, I think this is a good idea.
Yeah.
What was a good idea?
I said, I don't think it's crazy to ask for 250 million.
Then it turns out he didn't ask for 250 million.
I mean, I think he did ask for 250 million. I i would support that i wouldn't support that horrible ass contract he
signed with spotify well that's the thing i think that you know joe's got to realize that he's
horrible at business and that in order for him to get better at business he's got to realize it like
my man here's the thing with joe right it's like is it ever anybody else's fault
is it ever not joe's fault Is it ever not Joe's fault?
The last 10 years or 15 years?
How long have we known Joe?
Joe's what, 60 years old?
How old is Joe, right?
Dyeing his beard and shit like that
with his stupid dye beard
and his fucking disgusting thumb.
Tuck your thumb in.
That guy got to tuck his fucking thumb.
Dude, look at his uncircumcised thumb.
Can you Google Joe Budden's thumb?
What's his thumb?
Dude, his thumb is disgusting
he's got some weird shit with his thumb i noticed it when he came into brilliant idiots i'll fucking
puke if i look at the picture of it but it's gross uncircum you see it it's repulsive dude
dude it looks like he's been sucking on it because he ran out of dog's dicks
not fuck dogs he just jerks them off he just jerks them off my bad my bad my bad
but in all seriousness
in all seriousness
to you know
dog jerking Joe
we gotta talk about
dog jerking Joe
dog jerking Joe
has no business acumen
he signs horrible deals
after horrible deals
you can't sign
you can't complain
about the deals
that you've gotten
for 10 years straight
and then go
I'm good at signing deals
like that's all we hear is, oh, Complex fucked me.
Oh, Spotify fucked me.
Oh, everything for all these record labels fucked me.
Everybody fucked me.
If everybody's fucking you, maybe it's you.
You're the Taylor Swift of hip hop.
Everybody else's fault.
You're a victim every time.
Stop whining.
The guy's just crying on the podcast.
I think he was emotional.
I think he might have cried.
Because I saw some of his beard leak
Some of the beard dye
Got on his shirt
I literally think that's why
He always wears all black
Because the beard dye
Is just rubbing all over his shirt
Wear a white shirt once
You know I was watching
And I was thinking
I was like why is Joe
Spending an hour and five minutes on us
It's too much Joe
Five minutes on us
Here's what I realized
You know I've been to therapy for years
You know I realized
When somebody's that mad at you,
they're not mad at you.
They're mad at themselves.
Oh,
do you think maybe
we hit a chord
with the business stuff?
I think Joe is mad at himself
because he knows
he signed a bad Spotify deal.
And then anytime
you sign a bad deal,
there's two parties it's fault.
One,
the people who set forth
the exploitative terms.
Two,
the person who signed
the contract.
Okay.
Joe was both.
He says,
I set forth the Spotify terms. Then he says i set forth the spotify terms
then he says i outperformed those terms those terms in a week joe that's on you buddy why you
set those terms forth i want to help joe i like joe button i think he's great yeah i just think
and i think he was a little triggered that i'm indian because he's from jersey and if you're
in jersey you cannot spend a dollar without it going to an Indian. Yo, don't be upset, Joe.
Yo, I get it.
The dunks and dunks
is bodying you every day.
Yo, you can't.
You want something to drink,
we own the Dunkin' Donuts.
You want something to eat,
we own the Subway.
Dunkin' Donuts.
You want to put gas
in your beautiful car,
you know who that money going to.
Yo.
He can't even put a side bitch
in a hotel
without giving money
to some Gujarati motherfucker.
Shout out to the Indians, bro,
getting over on Joe.
But I think, I think that's Joe. We didn't understand it was an
emotional thing. That's how I realized it's not about me
or Indians or whatever. Because that's his big insult.
Indian dude. He's looking at us
like these bad built, short,
no social etiquette having
motherfuckers. Smell bad a lot of times.
How are they so good at business?
And me, Joe Budden, king charisma,
fucking brilliant dude. How am I so
stupid at business?
It's impressive that he could be that entertaining and that retarded when it comes to business.
I want to help Joe.
Joe, I'm here.
Holler at me if you want to negotiate.
That's what we good at as Indians is negotiating.
Yes.
I'm your guy, bro.
I'll tutor you.
We're good at tutoring too.
Yeah.
I got you, dog.
I will help you.
It's not going to be free because that's your first lesson.
It's when you see me fighting for every possible dollar on the table yes you will realize that's what you should have done with
spotify that's so true man i got you jojo yo but let me ask you a question like let's say you were
gonna do a deal right with dog jerk and joe right right and you were gonna do this deal with dog
jerk and joe and then and then it was with spotify right dog jerk and joe he was you know he he said
i want 250 million dollars in a litter of French bulldogs.
And he said, he goes, I just want that.
That's all I want in the deal.
Now, would you have told him initially for the first deal, the first time he got abused by, weird that he's getting abused.
You are probably going to say, listen, if you're so confident that you're going to build up this platform, Spotify, what would you ask for in that deal? If you know that you being there is going to
build up the platform, what would you ask for? Equity.
Oh, equity? Equity.
Some ownership? That'd be a smart thing to do. Now, what if Spotify said no? Spotify is a publicly
traded company. If you were a smart businessman, what would you do if you were betting on yourself?
Shares? You might buy your own shares of the
company that you were going to build up.
Did he do either of those?
Da-dun, da-dun.
Da-dun, da-dun.
Come on, Joe. I mean, this is
just simple business shit.
Right? It's simple business.
The fact is, Joe does not have any business savvy
whatsoever. He's a brilliant guy.
No, no, no. What he has is brand savvy.
That guy knows how to build a brand, but he doesn't have a business. There's different when you have a brand and a business. And again, we guy. No, no, no. What he has is brand savvy. That guy knows how to build a brand,
but he doesn't have a business.
There's different when you have
a brand and a business.
And again,
we'll just do,
this is like,
we'll give a little free tip to Joe
because we know he's listening.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
You spent a fucking hour
on this last time.
You listen to every single word.
So what we'll say
is there's a difference between
a mature-
I wish he spent as much time
looking over that contract
as he did talking about us
on his podcast.
No real talk, yes. That would have been a smarter move. Yes, yes, yes, as much time looking over that contract as he did talking about us on his podcast. No real talk.
Yes.
That would have been a smarter move.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
But when he's desperate, he signs anything.
That's why he keeps fucking himself, which he's about to do now with his new deal, if
he does do a new deal.
Mr. Independent, who always has a deal.
That's weird.
Anyway, we'll tell you about independence in a second.
But I digress, because we're independent over here.
But that's fine.
Anyway, point is, if you have a mature business, you can walk away from it.
Dunk and Donuts, can you walk away from it? Walk away. If you have a gas station, you can walk away from it. You know? Dunkin' Donuts, can you walk away from it?
Walk away.
If you have a gas station, can you walk away from it?
Walk away.
If you have maybe, say, a podcast network, could you walk away from it?
Walk away.
If you have a podcast that's called the Joe Biden Podcast and it's just you, can you walk
away and people listen?
That's a tough one.
He did walk away in his last podcast.
Did he walk away?
Did he get so emotional?
I think so.
Or did he walk away because of this deal?
That's another thing. How are get so emotional? I think so. Or did he walk away because of this deal? That's another thing.
How are you that emotional?
You're 60.
Where are these emotions coming from?
Have your shit corrected already, bro?
That's probably why my shirt made your eyes blurry because you fucking 60, bro.
It's called necronectal degeneration.
All right?
Point is, look, we don't want to spend too much time on this, but point is there's things that
you could do better. So I would like to extend an olive branch to Joe, right? If Joe wants to
be really independent, because we're over here independent, right? And what I mean by that is
we own everything. We own our podcast and we went and did a Patreon that you guys can subscribe to
if you'd like to. We do an extra episode every single week that we also own on Patreon and you
could pay $5. And Joe could have done that instead of going to Spotify and giving all that money to
somebody else and signing a horrible deal. If he had any business savvy, he would have done that
because he has an incredibly loyal fan base that fucks with him and would do a Patreon.
His fan base is great.
But because he doesn't, we're a way more profitable podcast than him. I know the numbers.
I know the numbers. I hear the the numbers I speak to all the same people
that they speak to
and they talk about Joe
like he's a clown
it's sad
it's really sad
it's sad dude
I want to help
it's sad
dude I think Joe is so talented
let me not
not as a rapper
as a personality
right right right
so talented
right right right
I just think he needs
some business guidance
that's it
yes
he needs a little business guidance
you need an Indian in your camp
he definitely does I so all white dudes in his camp i think he needs an indian yes because i recognize
that you know i'm saying if we're going to build this i need to have my guy who understands business
with me when we do we got the biggest patreon of any comedy uh podcast on the planet so that's
just what it is and when we doing deals i'm in that motherfucker this guy is crazy how much i
fight for it it's beautiful
hey man you gotta know how to fight you gotta go for it so look this is what i'm gonna this is
what i'm gonna offer i have a uh advertising agency right that's called a business then you
do you work for it or you own oh i own it okay got it right which services obviously our podcast
but also uh some of your favorite podcasts when i say your, I don't mean your Akash, I mean you, Joe, but you don't know that because I don't need to brag about
all my shit behind the scenes, but it is what it is. So this is what I'm doing. I'm going to offer
you this. If you really want to go independent, if you got the balls to really go independent,
not sign up for another daddy, but if you really want to go independent, like you say,
Like you say, I will partner with you on the advertising.
We will bring advertisements, which you will get a percentage of.
Okay?
You eat what you hunt.
You eat what you hunt.
We will get you the advertisements.
You will eat what you hunt.
By the way, my partners are a black dude and a Mexican dude. So if you want to support black and brown business, you can obviously do that over here.
Or you could sign up to one of the other white owned companies if you want to do that.
But if you would like to be partners in it, I will, again, get you those ads.
And then you will get whatever you eat, whatever you hunt.
If your show grows, you get more money.
If your show does worse, you get less money.
It's up to you. You bet on yourself. That's all I can. And I will grows, you get more money. If your show does worse, you get less money. It's up to you.
You bet on yourself.
That's all I can.
And I will give you the most competitive offer.
The same one that I give Brilliant Idiots.
How about that?
Oh, wow.
How about that?
That's how much I believe in y'all.
That's nice of you.
That's nice of me, ain't it?
Wow.
I'm just kidding.
I don't want your bum ass podcast.
I don't want that shit, bro.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second.
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All right. Let's get off this topic.
Let's,
let's talk about a, a podcast by a guy named Joe that actually matters.
Okay.
It's weirdly at Spotify.
Not that much money left for the other Joe's.
When you got the regular Joe's.
Yeah.
The regular Joe's ain't got no more money left when you got the real Joe.
Yeah.
In the building.
So,
um,
Joe said on his part this is joe rogan
obviously we're talking about um joe said on his podcast rogan that he would moderate a four-hour
debate between biden and trump and trump retweets i do he's saying he's in yo you know what this
proves what's that this is a podcast that is powerful
which podcast
Joe Rogan
Joe Rogan is a
culturally significant
countrywide significant podcast
that can literally dictate
where an election goes
yeah
Joe Rogan's podcast
changes the world
yeah
that's fucking mind blowing
if you want to tell me
your podcast is powerful
and influential
that's the type of shit
that to me is like
whoa that's power and influence that's worth 300 million dollars i'm sorry to go back to the
jump but my favorite part of the interview was when he was making fun of us and he goes
who are these guys in these seats as he shared a couch with another man
he's got his fucking thigh rubbing up another guy's thigh. Why would men sit in different seats as they podcast?
Why not rub your thigh against your best friend?
That's what I'm saying.
He's mad at himself.
He knows he can afford fucking chairs.
He's mad at himself.
Why I'm sharing a couch with these dudes.
Who are these guys in these seats talking about me?
I'm going to buy y'all some seats, yo.
Where should I send the seats?
Real talk.
Hey, real talk.
Send me a thing.
What's his name?
The guy whose house they recorded at.
Parks.
Parks.
I'm going to send you to, where is it?
Oh, I'm going to send y'all some seats.
Okay.
Y'all can pick out some seats.
Actually, I won't send them.
You can get some used ones.
Maybe you can send a letter.
Why don't y'all pick out some used seats and I'll send it your way.
You know what I'm saying?
Y'all deserve it.
Y'all really deserve some seats.
He needs to take a seat, bro.
He does.
Real talk, man.
It is crazy, bro.
But anyway, what did we say?
We're talking about real influence and real power. Son, this guy is- He understands it, man. It is crazy, bro. But anyway, we were saying, we're talking about real influence and real power.
Son, this guy is-
He understands it, though.
He comes from a tech, you know what I mean?
Joe really understands tech.
He was talking about that, how Spotify is tech.
So they probably ran the numbers and realized he wasn't worth whatever he said because they're
tech, but it is what it is.
You know what I mean?
Pretty data-driven.
It's data-driven.
It's tech-based.
You know what I mean?
So you got to know the tech.
Yeah, absolutely. Tech is the most important. It's tech-based. You know what I mean? So you got to know the tech. Yeah, absolutely.
Tech is the most important.
Tech.
Or just, you know, numbers.
Just numbers.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Joe Rogan could single-handedly decide this election.
His 16 million people listen a week.
Yes.
That's 16 million people a month.
No, no, no.
It's way more than that.
Really?
Oh, my God.
It's crazy.
16 million is already fucking friends number he told me 400 million
people a month it's insane it might be 16 million an episode it's insane like you never see anything
like this global influence like this like it's absolutely insane so he could fucking moderate
and he does encourage independent thinking so there is a swath of his fan base that's massive and undecided yep they
would listen to this through and through yep and motherfucker he could really if biden agreed to
this which i hope he doesn't because it won't go well for him yeah uh if biden agreed to this it
could it could swing the election yeah yeah it'd be very interesting to see and real talk i kind
of prefer debates to be done by neutral people.
Yes.
Like Rogan has been neutral about stuff.
He hasn't supported Trump at all.
He hasn't supported Biden at all.
He's actually been critical of both of them.
It'd be nice to have somebody out there just literally asking the questions that the people
want to ask.
Someone that is not locked into the political system.
Literally every time it's like on, Joe and I will text, right?
Every time Joe says anything about a presidential candidate, if it's about a right wing, sorry,
if he supports Bernie or something like that, or criticizes Biden in any way, right?
Bernie is left wing, but he's not establishment.
Right.
So what they'll do is they'll have to make him radioactive, him being Joe Rogan radioactive.
So what he says doesn't matter.
So if he goes,
hey, Bernie was the man,
literally they can time out by the hour
when the article about how he's transphobic
or racist or sexist is going to come out.
Yeah.
Oh, the podcast that Joe Rogan hosts
that has all these racist, sexist, homophobic,
transphobic, blah, blah, blah.
They just want to make him radioactive
to dismiss what he has to say.
That's a different level of power, bro.
But it'd be cool, it'd definitely be cool to make him radioactive to dismiss what he has to say. That's a different level of power, bro. But it'd be cool.
It'd definitely be cool to see him do that.
I would worry about Biden trying to be coherent for four hours against Trump who...
Oh, there's no way.
You've got to put him to bed.
You've got to nap.
He's got to nap.
Yeah.
That's why I don't want him to do it.
Trump is going to be fucking yacked up, dude.
That guy.
He's going to be fucking snoring.
There's no way that he's not on Adderall minimum.
Oh, man. But I wonder if all of them are on adderall not sleepy joe
not not low-key that would be perfect you make joe super sleepy this if this is a democrat
strategy this is genius you make joe sleepy you make him fucking up his words you make him
look like an absolute idiot right yeah? Pop him full of Adderall
and then he comes out in the debate.
His expectations are super low.
He body slams Trump because the
expectation is so low.
Because Biden's got it in him deep down.
You see those videos of him when he's young?
Bro, he's kind of a badass when he's young.
He was a badass when he was young.
There's a lot of racist shit. It's unacceptable.
It's unacceptable. It's unacceptable.
I actually think Biden wins because of that.
The expectations are already low.
Trump is way better of a talker.
He's funnier.
But because the expectations are low, Biden just has to do decent.
And if Rogan fact checks during this debate and he just calls Trump out, he's like, no, that's false.
Trump might be tripped up a little bit. Rog needs jamie there fact checking that would be huge rogan and jamie fact checking huge that would be fire now now i'm in if it's fact checking i'm in
just jamie every once in a while just cuts off trump uh actually the corona numbers were a little
bit higher than you said dude Dude, that would be perfect.
Yeah, that would be dope.
That's kind of a good point you bring up though,
because people aren't looking to see Biden kill Trump.
They're looking to see if Biden's coherent.
They're looking to see if Biden's coherent
and they are expecting Trump to kill Biden.
So now Trump has the expectation of like a comedian.
When you go on stage, it's like,
you're about to make me laugh.
And that's why it's so much more difficult
than just making your friends laugh. Everybody's made their friends laugh. Easiest thing in the world because the expectation is not you're about to make me laugh yeah and that's why it's so much more difficult than just making your friends laugh everybody's made their friends laugh easiest
thing in the world because the expectation is not you're about to do it right so now trump's
level is higher for expectation biden is down here biden my body they should take it yeah the
risk reward if biden's able to come off as like oh he's got his shit together and so that means
that he's not trump and he's got shit together all the people that are afraid of trump are gonna be like oh yeah also he's
debating trump it's not like trump knows tons of facts and shit that's what i'm saying it's just a
shit talk convo right trump is entertaining as fuck but he's not going out there with well the
city doesn't that win though entertainment wins but biden might be able to do that and in debates biden is pretty good like he's okay
called uh cory booger brock obama man if that wasn't the funniest shit they got almost no
traction he goes as the president said why would the president be debating you
why the fuck would the president be you didn't see that clip amazing amazing save though his
save was one of the best saves i've ever seen in history Let me see Hear it
Let me hear it
You want to pull it up
You want to pull it up
It's literally unbelievable
So he goes
He goes
Imagine
No no he goes
As the president said
And then he realizes
He just calls a random black
To the president
Right
And then he takes it back
And he goes
I'm sorry
As Mekhi Pfeiffer was saying
In my favorite movie
8 Mile
No
What he said What he said was um i'm sorry as the future
president said uh that's a that was slick fantastic that's slick that was super super
slick yeah that's some shit you say to a shorty as my ex-wife is it i'm sorry as my future ex-wife was saying, I'm sorry, as my future ex-wife was saying.
What if Biden has his all tricked, like maybe all these blunders that he has are like, he's doing it purposely for memes because he just understands that meme culture works. Don't commit another blunder, Joe.
This ain't the time for another blunder, yo.
We done blundering.
Yo, we're calling back to old Biden.
That was classic. The blunder bro what else we got out oh this new shit that's popping off right now jk rowland's new book
is being called transphobic mark you knew about this one what's happening yes real talk jk rowland
look trans bro i think that's why she hates trans people so much.
All feelings, no facts.
This is all feelings, no facts.
She's a job-worn tramp.
All feelings, no facts.
I feel like I should get more money.
That's literally how he negotiates.
I want more.
No?
Okay, you're racist.
Okay, but for real, though. So this popped up on twitter and i was like
all right they call her transphobic all the time like you know okay whatever and i start reading
the no that's why this girl don't like trans people she don't like trans people because she
look too much like them bro this is the article right so titled troubled blood the storyline
centers around a cisgender male serial killer who dresses up like a woman to murder his female victim.
Why is she giving ideas, though?
Like, low key?
First of all, she's giving serial killers ideas.
And if you dress up as transgender, there's going to be a bunch of woke ass white women that are going to just go home with you so they don't seem transphobic.
And then they're going to end up murdered that's a fact sometimes it pays to be a little bit prejudiced bro you said that it's like no that's that uh patrice rest in peace the goat remember
that patrice bit he goes uh he goes what do you say if i walk on a plane and i see a black pilot
i'm gonna be like are you driving this plane to where the white pilot
is? What the fuck is this?
No, the shit about, the shit about
he's like, not that
biased. What?
He had a lot of these jokes.
Come to think about it.
What about,
he goes, I'm racist or some shit.
He goes, I'd rather be
at home
out of breath feeling a little bit racist
for running away from some dangerous looking people than lying in a pool of my own blood
feeling open-minded and literally that is a lot how people act though yeah be honest like when
it's life or death yeah you do i had that girl that i had said she couldn't be my um skydiving instructor
i didn't tell you all this story i don't remember i was supposed to go skydiving with mtv and they
gave me some girl that was like five three and she was like yeah you're strapped to me and then
you're gonna do the whole thing and i was like it's not gonna be you so this guy's yeah they
caused a problem the mtv people are upset i'm like you ain't jumping out
the fucking plane yeah i need a grown man to jump out the plane yo hey yo i need a grown man strapped
to my back you know what i'm saying strapped to my back you know what i'm saying pause i know not
the button type but for real Wait so what did you think?
You think she wouldn't be
Strong enough to pull the cord?
What?
That's a one job?
That actually might be better
If she's small
That's like
She's the backpack
I'm not taking no chances bro
What if I start spinning
She don't got enough weight
To stop the spinning
She's a parachute
She just holds onto your back
I don't think it works like that
I don't know how it works
But my life was on the line
And I didn't want this little girl
On my back
Fucking cutie This girl is fresh Out of cuties My life was on the line, and I didn't want this little girl on my back. Fucking cutie.
This girl is fresh out of cuties.
My life is on the line.
She's 5 feet 200 pounds.
I need a grown-ass man wrapped around me.
Holding me tight.
Holding me around my waist.
You know, like fucking Jack and the Diamond Bitch from Titanic.
I don't remember her name.
What's her name?
Claire?
Titanic?
Titanic.
Listen, I'm having some blunders right now myself.
Can I blunder, bro?
Don't commit another blunder, dog.
Not in my presence, yo.
It's blundering.
Taylor?
Listen, Taylor.
Taylor, sober up, yo.
I would never let you be my skydiving instructor.
Never once. You do do have guns but it's
too dangerous bro it's too dangerous but how dangerous is skydiving though you never heard
anyone die in skydiving what yes you do no you never hear that shit yes yes you do you hear
about the people that are flying in the fucking little squirrel shoots or whatever it's not about
what did you just say yeah i don't know what you just said. I was trying to say a squirrel suit,
but it came out as one word.
Squirrel shoots?
Yeah.
You describing Akash as big.
No, but yeah,
maybe you don't hear that many stories
because they try to keep that marketing down.
Yeah.
They don't want to put those stories out
because then we won't go.
Motherfuckers die, man.
How many people die, Scott Evan?
One out of 10.
How many?
Between one and 10?
More than 10.
Every 10 jumps, how many people than ten. Every ten jumps.
How many people die?
Zero every ten jumps.
But you know what, Mark?
It only takes one jump.
You know what I'm saying?
Let's be honest here.
You could die any single way.
It's not real talk.
I went to this place, and sorry to blow him up.
516 Skydive.
Everything was fine.
A week later, the guy who jumped with me died from his shoot not opening up.
Alone?
Probably.
No, no, no.
He was just doing his own job.
He was probably doing some dumb shit.
No, he wasn't doing some dumb shit.
It's one thing to do.
That.
How you do that dumb.
It wasn't dumb shit.
He didn't do it on time?
He waited until he hit the ground,
you think?
He's being silly.
He's flying around.
That's what you think happened?
That's kind of dumb.
That is dumb.
You think he forgot?
Nah, son. Yeah. No, I'm not doing that shit I'm not playing around
when it's life or death we're not playing around
I'm not skydiving but if I was
better be a big ass dude
you gotta skydive with men bro
you gotta skydive with men you also need to have
a male urologist
I'm not
letting no female doctor look inside
my dick tell me what a dick should be or not
That's actually a good point
I wouldn't want a male gynecologist
If I was a woman
Why?
Come on yo
You don't know nothing about this
Do you have a female
Fucking creep
Gynecologist Taylor
Do you have a
You have a female
What kind of creep
Just looking at pussies all day
Sick
My girl's dad's a gynecologist
But I agree
You know what I'm saying?
Mark Nance!
My man!
They ain't keep it.
It is what it is, bro.
That's the worst job when you think about it because you're just looking at pussies
when they're all fucked up.
Yeah, you get tired of it, probably.
When you go to the gynecologist,
you don't go right after you wax.
It doesn't matter.
You don't go right after you wax.
You don't go when it's in perfect situation.
You go when your vagina's itching or burning.
That actually might be better, though.
When do you go?
When your shit looking like pumpernickel bread.
If you're looking at vaginas every day from nine to five,
you probably go home and you're tired of that shit.
You're tired of looking at pussy.
Then you got to look at your wife's pussy.
You don't want none of that.
And he's so grateful.
Why is he grateful?
Because he's like, wow, it doesn't have fucking jelly beans or whatever.
You don't want to take it.
Say that word again. Try to say that word again. And in the middle, please don't have fucking jelly beans or whatever. You don't want to take it. Say that word again.
Try to say that word again.
And in the middle, please don't eat Fritos.
Okay?
You are so high.
Why are you acting like you're not high?
Yes, you are.
We have a certain standard of professionalism.
Really?
I didn't appreciate that, Taylor.
Yeah, that growl.
I thought your body was in the room right there, bro.
That's not why you go to the gynecologist all the time
Just when the pussy's fucked up
That's not why you have to go
When would you go
To the gynecologist
When your pussy's not fucked up
When you need that smear
That peppy
Yeah just like
The checkup
Everything's cool
I'm just saying
You looking at it all day
Sick or not
I don't want to look at pussy all day
And then have sex with my wife at home
I don't try to take my work home
with me like that. That's a good point.
I'll fuck them at work.
You don't think a girl's ever
been like, yo, just stick it in, bro.
Put a damn near shoehorn
in there. You got your fingers all up in the pussy. You might
as well just fuck. You don't think they get propositions?
That's a good question.
Even gynecologists gotta get propositions, bro.
What, you think a female urologist gets propositions?
If a female urologist, we don't go there.
That job don't exist.
There's a urologist.
You ever been to one?
Guys don't check up on our dick.
I'm not checking up on my dick.
Half of my dick gotta be green before I go check up on my dick
a urologist appointment
no guys ever made that
stick it on like
Alex Smith's leg
before you go to the urologist
real talk
how fucked up
would your dick have to be
before you go to the urologist
you can't even imagine it
I'd have to wake up
and have no dick
I'd have to wake up
with no dick
and I'd call the urologist
and I'd be like
bruh
help me find it
help me find it you got a dick over there bruh you have to have up with no dick and I call the urologist and I'd be like, bro. Help me find it. Help me find it.
You got a dick over there,
bro.
You have to have a dick over there.
You have some spare dicks
laying around here.
I need a dick.
My dick disappeared
in the middle of the night, bro.
You could probably even wait too.
You'd have breakfast and shit.
Say what?
I would have breakfast
before I even do it.
Hell yeah.
I'm not going to do that shit
first thing in the morning.
If I don't have a dick,
it's not growing out of here anywhere.
I'm telling you,
going to the urologist is a rare thing
that we do not do as men.
Yeah, you're right.
We don't care about our health in general.
Yeah.
But we double,
we'll not let people just touch our dicks.
We don't even touch our own dicks after we pee.
Who does?
We don't.
Who does?
We don't pat it dry.
We don't pat it dry,
but we give it a whack.
We get that chariot moving.
Yaw. Sometimes you've got to yaw. You ever ever say that a urinal and freak people out in russia you know russia nrip at the airport i'll just go
y'all why i don't know just to fuck with people
this is what it is anyway point is jk rowling looks like a trans and um and do you think she's full
she's full-on transphobe no i don't think she's transphobic but i think she's being like
radicalized the book is wild bro the book is wild i think this is what happens like when
we were talking about this earlier it's like when when you when you have an opinion that actually
is reasonable her opinion wasn't crazy she had reasonable opinion. And when you are chastised and ripped apart for that opinion publicly, like, actor Hermione
and fucking Harry from the show criticized.
She made them motherfuckers multimillionaires, right?
This bitch was already a millionaire.
She didn't need them.
She didn't need the movies.
The books, millionaire.
And she fought to have an all-English cast.
Like, you could have easily just been some fucking american dude harry daniel route what's his name right i mean she she made a
great deal when you think about it like the way that she's saying she really did so the point is
she had the ability to do whatever the fuck she want she gets criticized for this opinion about
being transphobic, okay?
She gets pushed into a corner and all of a sudden loses,
and this happens to a lot of people,
they lose all empathy for the other side.
Yeah.
Before she's trying to make intellectual arguments
and like really trying to like
showcase something reasonable.
And she was basically saying
the experience of a woman is different
than the experience of a trans woman.
Yeah.
Right, a trans woman doesn't have a period.
A trans woman's not going through puberty
like a woman's going through.
There is a fundamental difference and they just tore her apart yeah
right harry potter out here i'm disappointed i'm just a dick disappointed i hate disappointment
fuck you who the fuck are you would be disappointed in me yeah kind of shit is that you're not my
father yeah you know what i mean i'm disappointed in you i don't give a fuck yeah she looked like she could
be his father if anyone should be disappointed jake and rowan should be andrew yeah for getting
sick on that goddamn ride that she built it's made me almost throw up yeah and she made a
caricature of him in the movie and that's racist she did do that with the gringotts yep the gringotts
also dobby turns out a lot of the ugly characters that look like trolls and gremlins look like me Who, the Gringotts? Yep, the Gringotts. Also Dobby.
Turns out a lot of the ugly characters that look like trolls and gremlins look like me.
Wow.
That's a little bit disrespectful.
She's Schultz-a-phobic.
She is Schultz-a-phobic.
She's afraid of this.
This bitch.
This bitch. You should be disappointed.
I'm disappointed in her.
I'm disappointed in her.
That's some haughty shit to say.
What does that word mean before we move on?
Can you imagine saying-
What does hardy mean?
Like condescending.
Oh my God.
That's a spell from Hogwarts.
That shit was crazy what you just said.
Like we were supposed to know what that country ass word meant.
Hardy.
Son, that's some hardy shit to say.
That's a hardy ass bitch, ain't it?
This bitch is the hardiest.
She's really the hardiest, bro.
The hardiest bitch in Hogwarts. Yeah. Daniel hardiest she's really the hardiest bro hardiest bitch in hogwarts
yeah daniel radcliffe's mad hardy avita kadabra bitch we don't need you but in all seriousness
she just loses all empathy for the other side now she's doubling down and trying to like and it is
a little bit fucked up because i think low-key she's trying to be like be afraid of trans people
right like what is the character in the movie? That's what the book is.
Yeah,
that's what she's saying.
Yeah,
she's like,
hey,
beware.
They're dangerous.
They could kill you.
Yeah.
When in reality,
it's probably the exact opposite.
I think there's probably more people
killing trans people
for being trans
than trans people
running around killing women.
Yeah.
Yeah,
clearly.
A lot,
right?
You realize if she wrote a book
about that,
everybody would say she's pandering
and she's full of shit
and she's transphobic.
It's the only move she has.
I'll read the book.
Let's be honest.
She took the Schultz approach
and doubled down.
She doubled down.
She doubled down.
Over the top.
She went over the top.
Over the top.
She's big time
going over the top.
This bitch got us spinning, bro.
Anyway, man.
Yo, y'all gonna put some respect
on Will Smith's name.
What happened?
Because when he was going
through that situation
with Jada and August Alsina,
y'all was all calling him
a little pussy.
Yeah, he got cucked up.
And y'all was saying that, oh,
it's not equal because we haven't seen any of
the dudes that Will piped. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, yo.
Hey, yo, Al. Hey, yo.
Oh, women that do.
Al, what are you thinking about? I mean,
there are some rumors about Will, but we won't
go there. You think he
cheated back with more men or more women will yo hey that's crazy
hey you gotta put some respect on will's name you gotta put some respect on will's name
you gotta put some respect on will's name my bad my bad my bad come on dog my bad yo
yo i know you just haven't talked because you've been so high i forgot you were here
yeah i didn't forget i didn't forget i got you out here talking wiki wild for no reason.
Wiki wild.
Don't be talking wiki wild for no fucking reason, bro.
It could get crazy in here.
I forgot.
Oh, shit.
That's not Will.
This picture of Will Smith surfaced with Margot Robbie.
They're both lifting up their shirt.
And you know what time that is.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, look at this.
It was high. That's what time that is. Oh, yeah. Oh, look at this. It was high.
That's what time it is.
Look at that.
So now y'all put some respect on the guy.
He definitely threw the vibe.
Y'all put some respect on the guy.
He threw the vibe at her for sure.
Because they did multiple movies.
Am I-
I played that crazy-
Harley Quinn.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She plays Harley Quinn, but they also did a movie called-
Focus.
Focus.
And another one, I think.
Suicide Squad. Suicide Squad. That's the Harley Quinn, but they also did a movie called- Focus. Focus. And another one, I think. Suicide Squad.
Suicide Squad.
Huh?
Yeah.
That's the Harley Quinn character.
All I'm saying is, Will definitely threw the pod.
Yes, let's go.
But is Will in the newest Suicide Squad?
I believe not.
It don't matter.
It's old.
You don't need to be.
My point is, hit it and quit it.
Yeah, let's go.
You hit it and quit it, but you also quit a franchise.
That's Will Smith, bro.
Don't ever forget my man saved the world and America.
Multiple times he saved the world.
Multiple times, bro.
Independence Day, bro.
Men in Black.
Men in Black.
Another Men in Black.
Shit.
What else he saved the world?
Wild West, Wiki.
Yeah.
Where else?
Taylor?
Pursuit of Happiness.
Pursuit of Happiness.
Yeah, gave him.
Out here flexing bone density scanners for you broke bitches with your hollow bones.
Seven.
He saved seven people's lives.
Seven?
Saved seven people's lives?
Shit, was it called Seven?
I think it's called Seven Pounds or something.
Come on, son.
He was rolling.
Seven was a different movie with Brad Pitt.
Aladdin.
It was all good.
Aladdin.
Yo, he saved.
The genie.
He put motherfucking Jafar in the lamp
Damn right
Put his ass man far
Damn right
Hancock
Okay put that brown motherfucker back where he
What
What
Huh
Hancock
I think he's just hating the brown guy huh
Hancock
He did Hancock
I robot
I robot
Save the world and I robot
Oh my god
Bad boys
Bad boys
One
Bad boys two Bad boys 1. Bad Boys 2.
Bad Boys 3. I am legend.
We fighting off vampires. Oh my goodness.
Ali. They were zombies. Ali!
Bumbaye!
Bro, he saved the world
a million times over. Son, don't you ever
disrespect Will Smith again, bro.
Who did it? Jada. Jada.
What has Jada been in?
Poetic justice.
Jason's lyric was 30 years ago, bitch.
30 years ago, Jason's lyric.
We don't care no more.
We don't care about that, bro.
Set it off on you?
Set it off?
Set it off was fire, but honestly, you could have replaced her.
Nah, son.
Nah, son.
I think she was in The Matrix 3.
Nah, the best character was Queen Latifah, then Vivica, then Jada, then that crying ass bitch.
Nah, I'll put Jada
at number two.
That crying ass bitch.
That crying ass
helpless ass bitch.
She got on my
goddamn nerves, bitch.
Stop crying.
Rob somebody.
Fucking grow up, bitch.
We robbing banks
with masks.
You...
Grow up, bitch.
She's in Gotham.
She's in Gotham?
That trash ass show
that's about not Bruce Wayne? Come on, bro. You need to show my Commissioner Gordon, bitch. She's in Gotham. She's in Gotham? That trash-ass show that's about not Bruce Wayne?
Come on, bro.
You need to show up, Commissioner Gordon, bitch.
Commissioner Gordon.
Don't nobody give a fuck about Young Penguin.
Oh, go quack, quack-ass Penguin.
Get the fuck out of here, yo.
Why don't you wall your ass onto a real movie, bitch?
How you doing, Hawthorne?
That's the worst part of L.A.,
Hawthorne, bitch.
Stop it, yo.
You fucking loser.
What about the Nutty Professor, though?
Nutty Professor.
She wasn't even in the second one.
They got rid of Miss Pretty
after the first one.
I feel like I don't know
my motherfucking
Black Movie Trivia show.
Yo, let's go.
Our guy's ready to go.
Radio Rumble,
any point in time.
Let's go.
Radio Rumble, yo.
That's a savage right there.
That's a young Indian savage.
Yo, I'm doing it, bro.
That's a young Indian savage.
Can't call Indian savages anymore.
Not that type of savage.
Not that type of Indians.
We stopped using that language.
Jesus, Mark.
Just came at me organically.
That's a young Indian savage
on that part of the studio
yeah
it looks pretty nice
look at that
Indian barbarian
maybe I'll take that
part of the studio
as well
possibly
we'll reserve a little
corner for him
somewhere off camera
yeah
let him play
craps against a wall
oh shit
alright let's wrap this up
this is the last story out
okay so
John Wall
this is too funny
apologizing for basically for partying throwing up the set though like wall's been a blood or at
least like connected with bloods he's always throwing bees up when he hits a jump shot one
out of every 40 fucking games of the season and uh with all the shit that he could do with his
fingers you think he could hold a basketball in a proper position and shoot it. So he's coming back
from his Achilles injury
and he's in this video.
He's in an apartment
with a bunch of dudes.
They all got their shirt offs.
Al, why the fuck do like
gangs have a bunch of dudes
with their shirts off?
What's that about?
Probably because they got
them bodies.
They got some bodies, bro.
They be having some bodies.
Yo, that's a good point.
I think he's right.
Body tats?
Body tats make you vain.
It's like a shirt.
Nah, because you got to keep your shit tight.
Remember when Nas came out with,
I forget which song that was in,
but he had the thug life tattoo,
but he had the belly.
The godson mustache.
Looking like Virgin Mary out here.
All right.
But yeah, so he came out
and he's just throwing his setup.
He got the fly.
He's just being egregious
and he's doing it for a camera
and then he apologized when the shit ends up going viral.
Yeah.
This was here in New York.
It was here in New York.
You could be in a gang.
What are you saying?
He threw a party.
It was his party?
Yeah.
Bro, you could be in a gang as an athlete.
You can.
There's a lot of gang members that are still actively involved
in their childhood gangs, if you will.
I'm not going to out any, but y'all already know who the fuck they are yeah we i think we all know here's the thing
what you can't do is be open about it if you care about the gang if you care about the gang just be
this amazing face get the money funnel it back to the guys in the gang you do your nefarious
activities or help out the hood whatever the fuck that you want to do with it but once you go i'm a gang member now the deals with the
deetas might go away the deals with sprite might go away the endorsements might go away that's less
money for your gang and the youth that could probably use you let's say you're doing it for
the best case scenario it's just stupid come on john wall stop living up to every single criticism
that teams have about you is that
you're a head case and that you don't take this seriously and they're always out here partying
you're not worried about the game stupid come on grow up y'all a lot of motherfuckers need to grow
up john wall that bitch from set it off all y'all gotta grow up i'm not having this immaturity i'm
not having immaturity today everybody need to grow up all I'm not having this immaturity. I'm not having immaturity today. Everybody needs to grow up, all right?
Fucking learn how to negotiate, people.
I'm done with the childishness.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second.
Let me tell you something.
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Let's get back to the show. How do you feel about Andrew Gillum saying he's not gay,
but he is bisexual? Who?
Bro, that shit's so funny.
Oh, did he admit it?
Yeah.
Because that shit was so funny when he was found in a hotel with the meth heads.
Yeah, with the meth on the ground.
Andrew Gillum, he's like this Florida-
He was running for governor of Florida.
Lieutenant governor or something like that.
In 2018.
What's your thought on Florida governor, Andrew Gillum?
You can't say gubernatorial, huh?
That word fucked Alex up so hard in the headline.
The motherfucking word is gubernatorial.
And Alex said, Florida
governor.
Say that shit out.
I would just rather be wrong.
Everybody be quiet. Gubernatorial.
That would sound like he's
asking for candies, bro.
Let me get some Goober.
Let me get some Goober Notorious, some popcorn, some milk.
Oh my God.
Andrew Gillum says, I don't identify as gay, but I do identify as bisexual.
That's funny because we identify you as gay.
What do you know?
Yeah, that is true man we have no tolerance for that bisexual shit when it comes to dudes huh you gay yo if you're bi listen you can't be here's a good point you
can't be bi and not gay so you're gay at least half gay that's it it's a yo are you black al yep are you puerto rican yep
are you black yep you're gay
kind of watching that one a little bit yeah i know but for real you can't be bi without being
gay so you're gay yeah now are you straight? Ooh. No.
You're half gay and half straight.
Nope.
You're both.
So you're, I think gay is like black, where if it's half and half, you are that.
Boom.
Like if you're half black, half white, you're black. So you're technically both.
There's a 1% rule with gay.
Yeah.
Is the percent the amount of cum in your body?
One drop.
That's one drop of cum.
One drop rule.
One drop of cum on your lips. That's a great rule, actually. That's the way it should be. If there's one drop of cum's one drop of cum. One drop rule. One drop of cum on your lips.
That's a great rule, actually.
That's the way it should be.
If there's one drop of cum, then you're gay.
So as long as you don't get cum on you at all, you can still claim straight.
Wait, so Andrew's gay for eating his own cum?
No, he ate his own pee.
That's eating cum, son.
That's gay, son.
No, I had cum on you.
No, we didn't.
No, I had cum on you.
No, no, no.
No, one time I had cum on you.
You came in your mouth, son. That's the gayest thing. I didn't come cum on you. You came in your mouth, son.
I didn't come in my mouth.
You came in your mouth, son.
And then you licked it, swallowed it.
You're like, ooh, tasty.
This is fast for me.
You said you launched it up and ate it like a dog you first met.
You took all of it.
You did.
I didn't let him cum.
What?
This shit hit my face, bro.
That's the gayest.
That's the gayest you could possibly be.
Why?
It's one drop.
Like, for like legit one drop on your face it wasn't one drop there's a lot of drugs the whole fucking nut the shit
damn near scarred me i look like two-faced from batman bro just sitting there on my bed like he
was on the just burning your face melting me acid attack get it off of me i didn't want to open my
mouth it was maybe gonna drip in it's terrifying so didn't want to open my mouth. It was maybe going to drip in. It's terrifying.
Didn't you say you tasted after Mark came in your bathroom,
you weren't sure what it was.
You touched a little bit.
Oh,
I feel uncomfortable with that.
Didn't you say that?
That's how you figured it out.
Alex,
you disgust me.
You disgust me the way that you could turn on your friends.
The way that you could turn on your friends from the beginning of this podcast
to the end of this podcast
how you can be a traitor
I'm loyal to everybody
that is horrible
how could you even
put a rumor out there in the world
like I would taste the semen
I stepped on it, I heel-toed that shit
like I was at a Brazilian party on the beach
but I did not taste it
no I didn't taste it
I would never touch
the bottom of my bathtub
I'm a man
I don't wash that shit
it's absolutely repulsive
oh fuck
okay
say gubernatorial again
motherfucker
alright
so in all seriousness
we're proud
that he came out as bi
even though that shit
is mad pussy
yo when dudes come out
as bi
that's the most pussy
shit in the world that's half measures yo dudes come out as bi that's the most pussy shit
in the world that's half measures yo just come out as gay bro you love dick if you have to say
i'm not gay you're probably gay you're probably gay bro you have to say i'm not gay i'm bi like
in your coming out probably gay listen if it's true bro it's true where there's smoke there's fire
and you're flaming, Andrew.
You're flaming.
Real talk.
We got wildfires in Florida and California.
It's a gender reveal.
Better watch out.
The gender reveal caused it.
It turns out it's a dude
in his hotel room.
That's funny.
The gender reveal
in his hotel room.
That's so good bro
shout out to Andrew Gillum
why did they put the picture of him with his mouth open
like he about to suck some dick
you couldn't find one picture with his mouth closed bro
not one picture
yeah I know he's got some nice lips
whoa
were you being objective or gay
bi
that was fucking insane.
Yeah, you do that.
All bi's matter.
All bi's matter.
Yo, you got to come out with all bi's matter.
If Andrew Gillum comes out with all bi's matter, bro, a t-shirt, I'll buy that shit.
Come on, bro.
Come on, bro.
All right, man.
Let's wrap this up, man.
Asshole Army, we appreciate y'all, man.
We really appreciate y'all.
We fuck with y'all.
Thank you so much for fucking with us.
We got the Patreon episode coming this Friday.
Top 10 Patreon in the world.
In the whole world.
No big deal.
That's what happens when you're independent.
You bet on yourself, good things happen as long as you put that heart and soul into your work.
And you got to put your soul into your work uh and you
gotta put your money where your mouth is really what it is you know what i mean you should be
able to do deals with networks i'm not knocking that you should be able to do deals with networks
i think it's a great thing you know and independent creators like ourselves truly independent creators
like ourselves uh try to build up enough leverage so that we can do deals where we have freedom in
those deals we're not abusing those what what what what what what
just move on we spoke on it already come on you're right you're right let me try one time
we got here all right man i think it's a wrap i think we're done man i appreciate y'all so much
asshole army we fuck with y'all we love y'all you know i mean we'll see you really really are the
best man and uh we appreciate you for spreading the word and building this. We know what it is, man.
We know this is word of mouth.
I was about to say mouth to mouth.
Andrew Gillum in my brain right now.
One drop, bro.
We'll talk.
One drop me.
That motherfucker's one drop, bro.
God damn.
It's like vampires, bro.
One bite.
So basically, we love you.
We appreciate you.
We know that you grew this fucking army.
One person at a time. We're incredibly grateful know um we'll see you all friday patreon
patreon.com slash flagrant 2 second episode every week just a month yo man and uh listen if you
haven't joined yet we know you're gonna enjoy one day you take your time man if you're ready
come on over that's what it is we appreciate y'all we fuck with y'all. It's been Flavor 2. Peace. God bless.