Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Brazilian Dike Causes Cliff Collapse

Episode Date: January 11, 2022

5:10 - What white/black guy would you be? 42:35 - Brazil cliff falling 47:28 - C0V!d deaths numbers changing 1:26:50 - Kanye & Julia Fox 1:35:53 - Comedian Adam Rowe joins 1:38:20 - Jim Jones learning... kissing from his Mom 1:51:30 - British history and education 2:00:30 - Antonio Brown quitting 2:09:04 - RIP Bob Saget 2:19:20 - Fresh and Fit podcast won’t date black women Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 now i think i started pumas when i was younger i had convinced myself i was that delusional pumas and um and then what was the other thing oh the flip haircut yeah i thought i started both how do you think you start pumas if you bought them at a store because i didn't think anybody was buying them like that and then when i bought them everybody started wearing them and i didn't know about that theory where like you get a car and then all of a sudden you see your car all over the place. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I didn't even know about Pumas.
Starting point is 00:00:28 Yeah. And then I bought them and I was like, let me start a new trend with sneakers. And then I just started seeing them everywhere. And I convinced myself it was me. Why did it fade so fast? Say again? Why did it fade so fast? You moved on?
Starting point is 00:00:39 Because you moved on? Fam, fam, everybody's on Pumas right now. Jay on my dick. You know what I'm saying? Jay-Z on my dick. Listen, listen, listen. I have have not seen you in pumas the entire time we've been friends once all these you know gobblers sharks came out you know i mean chomping away at your boy how old were you say what seven years old seven years old i brought them shits on broadway and that's her place dude i was down walking the neighborhood thought i should start a new trend light up pumas let's go i was never
Starting point is 00:01:09 on that light up shit i was never on the rollies i never had the sneakers you can't respect no man i was a real man with rollerblades out here fucking bitches four wheels same dog same never doing no tricks mad. Just some fat kid on rollerblades. Oh, we don't do that. LA Gear. Did you take off the brakes? I fucked with LA Gear, dog. You had LA Gear?
Starting point is 00:01:29 Never had it. Yo, never the lights, though. Wait, you had the LA Gear without the lights? You broke bitch. I had to pay less LA Gear. Yo. No, the whole thing about them was that they had lights. Oh, I know.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Boy, yours didn't have lights. I'm the one fucking Indian kid, no lights on his head like everybody else looking like Diwali. I'm just sitting here fucking dim. No way. Dim walking. Yeah. God, yeah. What about British Knights?
Starting point is 00:01:54 BK Knights? I had a pair of BKs. Nah, I never did it. Never did it. Only expensive shoes I had as a kid. Never did it. Never did it. Reebok pumps, the cross trainers.
Starting point is 00:02:02 There you go. I had the Reebok pumps the the cartridge to inflate them You're talking about pumps pumps. No, that's what the pumps. I do with your hands. Yeah, you would push it up with the thing Yeah, you never had the little portable cartridge Off by then no no no no no you have to carry around Little vibrator. Is that a BYOP out here? A little vibrator. You would bring it onto the kickball field.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Right before I go up to kick the ball, I would take that shit out of my pocket. You probably inhaled that shit too. You fucking dork. Yeah, did you try to sell that as cool? You were like a fucking dork. Hold on, guys. You had to do a pit stop?
Starting point is 00:02:44 Yeah. It was automatic. You didn't need to do that. Had a little fucking CO2 cartridge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. Hold on, guys. You had to do a pit stop? Yeah. It was on a map. You didn't need to do that. Had a little fucking CO2 cartridge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I started Puma, man. And then that flip haircut, too.
Starting point is 00:02:51 That flip haircut was really awful. Don't take credit for that one. Yeah, it was bad. It was like you gel your hair forward and then you flip up the front. Yeah, it was like on some Tintin shit. Remember Tintin? I actually love Tintin.
Starting point is 00:03:03 With that little white dog? But Mark said it tin tin Rick done my yeah tin tin was an explorer he was legit I read all those books
Starting point is 00:03:10 I just ordered a tin tin shirt like we here you also like asterisk and obelisk yeah bro I love them I don't know what the fuck that is
Starting point is 00:03:16 I don't know what just happened but we was on that tin tin shit tin tin was legit but yeah that haircut was absolutely awful but I did start it wait Alex question
Starting point is 00:03:23 if you could be a white person do you know what white person you would be? Like, haircuts and all. Do you have an answer to this, or is this a question you'd ask him? He was saying that he'd like to flip, and I'm just wondering. Doug's been answering this question his entire life. I'd probably go, like, Justin Timberlake, because he went through the cornrow phase. He went through the dying, the fucking edges and shit like that. Oh, the frosted tips?
Starting point is 00:03:46 Yeah, frosted up. I would have tried a whole bunch of different things. Oh, word? I had bleached my hair as well, yeah. And then I would have ended up with... You would have been JT? Yeah. Oh, he's had a great life, though.
Starting point is 00:03:56 He's had great looks. Oh. That's a good one. If you were a black guy, who would you be? What kind of black guy? God, I never really thought about that. Liar. If I was a black guy, who would you be what kind of black guy god i never really thought about that liar if i was a black guy who would i be yeah fuck so who's the coolest black guy is what you're trying to ask oh that's good okay because that's what the question is who do you think
Starting point is 00:04:14 but coolest black guy we're talking about aesthetic here right we're not talking about saying like it's not who would you want to be. It's like, who would you be? Oh, what would my black guy be? Yeah. If you woke up black tomorrow, what would you look like? Oh, we already know that. We already saw this. Who's the guy that I look just like? Oh, Lloyd. Yeah, Lloyd. He's like Lloyd.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Jamil, who's here right now, made the PowerPoint. He was so convinced that I look exactly like lloyd he made a powerpoint as an adult he took time away from his job as expedia to make a powerpoint of me and lloyd and how similar we look and we do look similar yeah you do yeah yeah but i don't think that i would be that who would my who would i be as a black person you want to be what you're asking is not who you are it's who would you want to be right and i don't want to be michael b jordan
Starting point is 00:05:04 i don't want to be i'm trying to think i give't want to be... I'm trying to think. Can I give you one? Yeah, go, go, go. Idris Elba. Yo, Idris. That mother fucker. Idris. Idris. Idris. Hello. Hello. Jealous.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Jealous. You black and you're not even trying to be him. What the fuck is wrong with you, bro? He's right there. You can be him. I can't get to that level, bro. Come on, the lips don't go that high. Idris is cool, but if you could be any black dude, you'd just be like... No, but that's not the question. Build your avatar. What's your hair?
Starting point is 00:05:34 No, no, no. We have a different... It's a different question. It's a different question. Who is the guy? That's it. Right there. That's the guy, dog.
Starting point is 00:05:40 That is not you. Yo, why aren't you going for that? That's me. Look at me right now. I'm Luther. I'm Luther. Look at me right now now i came in dressed like luther except with some converse on but if i was black i wouldn't i'd be with the bruno cucinelli's making your mom's pussies wet for everybody listening you know yeah nah i'd be marshawn lynch marshawn that would be the guy i would want to be.
Starting point is 00:06:05 Stop it. Who I am as a black guy is like, you know, when Steve is turning into Stefan, the first step out of six. Oh, wow. Steve Urkel to Stefan. Let's say it's a six-step transition. Oh, when it wasn't all the way done and you had to go back in it. I'm step two.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Okay. That's who you would be as your natural transition? That's the natural me as a black guy. Nah, what is Akash as a black guy? Stefan was kind of fly, though. Stefan was fly. Shouts. That's the natural me as a black guy. Nah, what is Akash as a black guy? Stefan was kind of fly, though. Stefan was fly. Shouts. That's pretty close.
Starting point is 00:06:28 I'm trying to think who you are as a black guy. No, no, there's a version of you. What's that black guy he's on, ER? Harper Hill. Yo, look at Harper Hill. I was thinking, if that's who you're thinking, I couldn't think of his name, but that's who I was like, it might be this guy. Yeah, that's you.
Starting point is 00:06:44 Middle picture? Okay yeah there you go yeah that's good i can see that that's good is that's the guy from you are you were thinking that's crazy because that thought crossed my mind he was in a basketball movie too probably he's been a lot of shit he wrote a book i can see as jesse williams all right i'll take the fuck out of that hey hey thanks al he's just like let's fuck later bro can i be tyler the creator who is he anthony hamilton don't look like he bathed that often anthony hamilton who's anthony hamilton You remember Charlene? That's so fucked up. You remember Charlene? Bro, who is this? Anthony Hamilton. You remember Charlene?
Starting point is 00:07:26 That is so fucked up, bro. Yo, Anthony Hamilton could go, dude. Oh, I was thinking Anthony Anderson. I was thinking a guy from Black-ish. Yeah, that's who I'm thinking about. Black-ish, yeah. I don't know who the fuck this guy is, bro. Who's this man? Who is this?
Starting point is 00:07:39 You remember Charlene? No. He was big in like the mid-2000s R&B guy. Like a soul singer type. He's just like Blue Control. He has like he got a couple baggages. No matter what the people say, I'm gonna love you anyway. So you want to be Tyler, the creator. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:56 But that would be your ideal black. Or like Denzel Curry or some shit. Denzel Curry. You're not even gonna be the best Denzel, you loser. I know, yeah. Or the best Curry. Yeah, be the best denzel you loser i know yeah that's or the best curry yeah okay al if you were 100 black if you were if you didn't have if you didn't have dragging you down if you could fully experience your blackness who who would you be? Big pun. He just wanted to eat everything and stop working out so bad. Out tired of doing pull-ups. He had enough.
Starting point is 00:08:32 That's the best. He's the man and he just gets to do whatever. Yeah, and he's dead. He died mad early. Mad early. Barely reached 30 years old. Yo, he's a rapper that died of natural causes. That shit is embarrassing Before COVID too Real talk
Starting point is 00:08:46 You don't want to be that guy If you were 100% black who would it be? Fuck this is hard I'd probably go Michael B Michael B Jordan? I can see you doing a little Michael B Jordan Miles, Miles, Sean King Who would you
Starting point is 00:09:04 You're wearing a mask right now. I know, he's 100%. Now, who would you be? If you could be any black man on the planet, who would be your version of a black man? Who would it be? Think deeply on this. Go.
Starting point is 00:09:18 The Black Ranger from the 90s. Miles committed to his virginity, B. We'd be doing everything to help this guy out throwing all the alley-oops and he'd just be slamming them shit straight into the fucking payment come on miles there's no other black dudes little Wayne. You were saying how much you love Lil Wayne. I don't want to be him. I don't want to be him. You want to be?
Starting point is 00:09:48 He's short. He's short, bro. Miles ain't getting enough wedgies growing up, bro. Something happened where Miles feels comfortable saying these things, bro. What the hell is going on? The Black Ranger? I was thinking the same thing. I didn't say it, though.
Starting point is 00:10:03 What's wrong with you? Dude, he's the sickest. Wait, why was he so sick? Yo, was the Yellow Ranger thing. I didn't say it, though. What's wrong with you? Dude, he's the sickest. He's the sickest. Wait, why was he so sick? Like... Yo, was the Yellow Ranger Asian, bro? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, John.
Starting point is 00:10:09 The Power Rangers was the shit. Yeah, I didn't give a fuck, dude. Okay, go, go. No, he was just sick, and like... White Ranger was evil, too. Yeah. Shit. Think about that.
Starting point is 00:10:18 They knew. I just wanted to be him. Like, growing up, everyone was like, oh, I want to be the Blue Ranger, Red Ranger. Like, I wanted to be them, but I was like, the Black Ranger's the coolest. I just can't be him. I just knew he was the coolest. I just know that I also couldn't. Now that you could be any black man ever,
Starting point is 00:10:34 you feel like the Black Ranger would be the one. Yeah, he's the coolest of them all. All right, who's your second pick? I don't even want to know. He's the guy from Read and Rainbow. I'd be Elmo. I'd's the guy from Read and Rainbow I'd be Elmo I'd be the guy from Read and Rainbow
Starting point is 00:10:48 That's better than Black Ranger LeVar Burton LeVar Burton better than Black Ranger for sure Alright, go Black Yeah
Starting point is 00:10:57 That's easy Oh, he said very easy He got this Can we guess first? Okay, we guess We guess who is Black Tough. Okay, go. Laverne Cox.
Starting point is 00:11:10 Wait, wait. You're going? That's mine. Hold on. You went Laverne Cox. Okay, go. You remember Richard Pryor's manager who stole all his money? Who's that? Don King. That's who Don King is. Don King. What? Mother Don King is. Don King.
Starting point is 00:11:25 What? Motherfucker. Okay, okay. What do you think, Alex? That's who he aspires to be. I think he would pick Drake just so he could hold on to being Jewish.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Oh! Actual good guess. Drake's an actual good one. Very fair. There was a time where people actually really thought I'd... Shut up, shut up.
Starting point is 00:11:43 I got a lot of shout outs for that. Shut the fuck up. You would like Drake? Yeah a lot of Who do I think that he would be? Gonzo The puppet He's purple He's a black Sesame Street character Okay Gonzo Who do you think it is?
Starting point is 00:12:04 He's dressed like a pimp right now that is Duff no go to the top left go to the top left when he was at my wedding looking better than you I'm so sorry you looked amazing all your gift money went
Starting point is 00:12:20 it literally went to his suit you're welcome okay now Duff who would you be if you were black? Who is it? You're uncanny. I'm Mike Larry. Bad Boys 1. Mike Lowry? Mike Lowry. You said it wrong. How do you make it Jewish? Michael Larry.
Starting point is 00:12:37 God damn it. Michael Larry. Michael Larry David. Michael Larry. You don't even know the name of the black guy. Pretty good. Pretty good.
Starting point is 00:12:49 God damn it, Doug. You're bothering me. Sammy Davis became Jewish. Shut up. That's a good one. Yeah, I can see that. And Doug can do a little of everything.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Yeah. A little sing, a little dance. I think so. Entertain. I just don't want him to hang on to the Jewish thing just pick a real black guy I know right
Starting point is 00:13:06 you can't be a black Jewish guy you even try to make Mike Lowry Jewish Mike Lowry yeah Mike Lowry he has to be a black Muslim go
Starting point is 00:13:12 who is it ooh Mr. Farrakhan yeah Honorable Lord Farrakhan okay hold on Lord I've watched a lot of
Starting point is 00:13:20 Game of Thrones he's not a death eater bro I've watched a lot of Game of Thrones I assume everyone not a Death Eater, bro. I've watched a lot of Game of Thrones. I assume everyone's Lord, bro. Not a Death Eater! Lord Shere Khan! He got knighted, didn't he?
Starting point is 00:13:33 Nah, he believes in pure bloods, though. You got that right. Okay, go. Non-Jewish black. Non-Jewish Muslim. Doesn't have to be Muslim. Muslim is easy. If he's Muslim black, there's two options.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Independence Day Will Smith. I'm not picking all the Will Smiths, but Independence Day. You're picking characters of a person. That's really good. I started this by saying if you could pick your avatar in the metaverse, so you've got to pick your hair. I was looking at Al. He's talking about the hair flip that he would like on his white guy. I'm like, I wouldn't like it on my
Starting point is 00:14:06 white guy. Who are you talking about? I'm just pointing out that face. This is actually really fun. Can you be black in the metaverse? You can absolutely be black in the metaverse. You can be whatever you want in the metaverse. But let's make it as if you're an Asian. So who would you be?
Starting point is 00:14:21 So who would you be? It has to be alive. Otherwise, it's Bruce Lee. Oh, you're going to go with the best. It's very easy. So if it has to go alive, that's different. Alive? No, it could be live or dead Asian.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Go. Oh, I got one. Go. Any long hair Asian dude. Steve Aoki. Steve Aoki, lit. I've never met a long hair Asian dude that wasn't chill as fuck. Every long hair Asian dude is cool.
Starting point is 00:14:43 Bro, 100%. Justin Chan. Do you know who he is no he made blue bayou cool movie do you guys know what this is i was watching this on the flight to see to portland uh bawling my fucking eyes bawling my fucking eyes out i mean absolutely amazing movie uh is this when you got put the middle seat no this is not the middle seat this is i was on the way back this is when i was going there right watching it and blowing my eyes out and here's the thing that was interesting about it uh wasn't on my tv okay it was on the guy next to me's tv and i had to wait for him to go to sleep so i could turn the subtitles on on his tv i don't know why i was committed to not watching it on mine but at one point i needed to And I had to wait for him to go to sleep so I could turn the subtitles on on his TV. I don't know why I was committed to not watching it on mine.
Starting point is 00:15:29 But at one point, I needed to know what was going on. So I Wikipedia'd the plot line for the movie. And I stopped reading the plot when it was at the point that I was dead. Exactly. I just had to catch it. I'm crying without even hearing it. I DM'd the dude. I was like, dude, this movie is so fucking good.
Starting point is 00:15:44 I just watched the whole thing on not my screen. I don't know a single line that's in the movie. And I'm bawling crying. Yes! They're the best. No, no subs till the end. Dude, it was so good. Blue Bayou. Yeah, Justin Chan.
Starting point is 00:15:57 Yeah, long-haired Asian. Now he's long-haired, but in the movie. Do you cry more when you're flying and watching a movie? Yeah, 100%. I get emotional in the sky. I heard that's a thing. I get emotional in the sky. No, but's a thing. I get emotional in the sky. No, but apparently that's a thing.
Starting point is 00:16:07 I feel vulnerable. I'm like laying down. I watched Lion. Have you ever watched Lion? Lion? Fantastic movie. Lion? What is that?
Starting point is 00:16:12 Is that about Jews? Oh, Lion. Oh, Lion. That's Lion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. But yeah. No, airplane movies, they do that. What do you think it is is that like the astronaut
Starting point is 00:16:27 complex like you look at the earth and you realize we're all just one thing it's apparently a thing people crave like they drink tomato juice more than anything else on a flight they crave salty things and they cry more and i don't know why your taste buds get decreased too really when you're up in the sky apparently that's what i heard not mine that's just what airlines be saying so they can excuse their shitty food now i don't know what happens i just get maybe i'm like shut up maybe i'm like vulnerable i think there's something that happens in the sky. I'm just walking into combos like Kramer, bro. But do you find yourselves getting emotional too?
Starting point is 00:17:18 Because I remember I've seen you cry many times. I cry all the fucking time on a plate. I can only cry on a plate. Really? Now you can't let it loose? I saw Spider-Man twice. Didn't cry. And all the fucking time on a plane. I can only cry on a plane. Really? Now you can't let it loose? I saw Spider-Man twice. Didn't cry. And then the third time? Well, I haven't seen it the third time. But I'm just saying. So what the fuck are you bringing
Starting point is 00:17:32 this up? Everybody said they cried for Spider-Man and I was like, ah, I didn't. Ah, but if you were on a plane, then you would cry. I got you. I got you. Even though it's not even available on planes yet. I'm just saying. I know I would. I just want to bring back to maybe the worst example ever given to justify an argument.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Okay, Coco. I cried on a plane, but then I watched it at home, and I didn't cry. Son, how do you not cry watching Coco? Son, I don't know. It's something about planes. You tear up? Because I don't actually cry, but I tear the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Oh, you cry on the inside. I cry on the inside. My eyes fill up with tears, and then I be trying to blink just to be a person, and it don't happen. You cry like a gay. I cry. I cry, cry. Like, snot, everything. Oh, like Mexico City cry?
Starting point is 00:18:13 You know why? Oh, yeah, like that. Cool cry? Oh, yeah. Have we talked about this? No. Have we talked about this? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:18:22 Oh, yeah, that's the last time I cried without being on a plane. But that was a molly. We did so much molly. And the next day, there's the recovery portion, right? Where you're a little bit depressed and shit. Yeah, he looked like shit, I remember. I just gave him my breakfast. I was like, buddy, take this. After breakfast, we all went to the spa.
Starting point is 00:18:37 So we're chilling in this pool. We're going in and out of the sauna, coming back by the pool, right? Al brings his speaker down to the pool, a fucking Puertoerto rican gotta be loud no matter where they are like he was puerto rican across international lines playing mariachi boombox even the mexicans really know he was playing the r&b in his fields fat black bitches sang and there was just mexicans leaving the pool right like they're like i don't want to be around this shit no more and it's just four of us and then all of a sudden Alex has one towel over his shoulders and he separates himself
Starting point is 00:19:11 a few feet away from us and then all of a sudden I see him take this towel from his shoulders and then just drape it over the top of his head like Kobe bro game 6 I don't know he's gone until I look at him and this is all I see of his head. Like Kobe bro, game six. I said he looked like a G though. I said he cried like a G. I don't know he's crying until I look at him and this is all I see from behind. I just see him
Starting point is 00:19:30 like this. I just see him go . . . . I see that shoulder shot shaking, but that man was leaking bro. The craziest part, he started crying in the sauna. Shoulder
Starting point is 00:19:47 He started crying in the sauna Tears were evaporating Crying dust I got a tear on my shoulders like the fuck Playlist on and then when Luther Vandross dance with my father for some reason, that shit gets me every time. How's it going? Oh man, that shit was... You were going through it, dude.
Starting point is 00:20:13 You had three different cry sections. Yeah, it would hit you and then you'd be good and then it hit you again. It hit me in the pool first. Nobody peeped that. That's why I got out the pool. I was like, oh, I gotta hide this. Bro, you can't cry in the hot tub.'s crazy i've never seen anyone cry al has to unlock the tears i do he has to get on a plane he has to do molly he has to the retard has to subside numb the tard yeah yeah sometimes that tard is too strong you gotta alter his tard state
Starting point is 00:20:40 yeah yeah so the reduced oxygen causes dehydration ah comes with a flurry of symptoms including mood disturbances and fatigue both of which can make a person likely to feel sad or become tearful or want something like you know tomato juice just ginger ales, teas it's funny because that shit just dehydrates you more crying, salty drinks, all that just makes you more dehydrated but now i'm bummed because i thought
Starting point is 00:21:08 that i was having these real feelings on an airplane and they're just a complete manipulation delete your dm right now fuck i gotta tell him bro he listened to the pod too oh yeah yeah yeah yeah so we support yeah this movie is phenomenal but like if you're long-haired asian i'm on board he's not long hair he's buzzed he's like norcal now he's long hair but in the he's like norcal like almost like chicano asian died the guy who made free solo david chin long hair asian love it yeah you're into the long hair asian that's the sickest asian he's into long hair period it's the sickest asian you know there's like a whole gender of them that have that
Starting point is 00:21:46 what do you mean like the women I mean they're also geeks I like how you didn't even bring them up at all long hair asians are sick the guys yeah the dudes
Starting point is 00:21:55 I don't want to be a girl asian why not why no girl asian you can't fuck by some dude that looks like Mark who wants that
Starting point is 00:22:03 wait why not why no girl asian I'd be a by some dude that looks like Mark. Who wants that? Wait, why no girl agent? I'd be a girl agent. None of us pick women. Notice that. None of us pick women. Because we said dude. What does that mean anymore?
Starting point is 00:22:16 What does that mean, bro? Come on, Al. You'd be any girl. Who would I be if I could be any girl? Sandra Cameron. Just squeezing out ballers. Wait, what? You'd be your own mom? Yeah, I'd be my my mom so i can fuck my dad you know what i'm saying why are you saying your mom before she got married she's still saying her cameron you know my dad's on that cuck ship
Starting point is 00:22:39 lost his memory and then she snatched that last name off of her id dickhead i gotta check her on that shit yeah you do i do sandra yeah you'd be your own mom say what you'd be your own mom no i just didn't have anybody in the moment i went for the funniest thing i could think of mark that's crazy all right guys very important news the infamous tour is coming out for the west coast run that's right okay we're coming We're coming out to Oxnard. Those shows are sold out. Then going up to Sacramento. Only a few tickets left for Sacramento. It's about to sell out. Then we're going to be in Brea, California,
Starting point is 00:23:11 and, of course, Coachella. We've got the casino out there, and then San Jose. Make sure you check those out in January and February. Those are the shows. Get those tickets at theandrewschultz.com. Remember, Sacramento, Brea, Coachella, San Jose. Those are your chances. Come out and see the Infamous Tour on the West Coast. Go check them out. Also, Akash, what else we got? First of all, thank you to everybody back home.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Dallas Hyenas, we sold that bitch out for the whole weekend. It was amazing. Thank you guys so much. Now, next up, January 27th through 29th, I'm going to be at the Comedy Vault in Batavia, Illinois. February 3rd through 5th, I'm going to be in Richmond, Virginia at the Sandman Comedy Club. And we just added an L.A. run, a little California run. So strap in. The dates are February 20th in Oxnard, California at Levity Live. February 23rd, Irvine, California at the Improv.
Starting point is 00:24:02 February 24th, Ontario, California Improv. And February 25th, L.A., I'm going to California at the Improv. February 24th, Ontario, California Improv. And February 25th, LA. I'm going to be at Dynasty Typewriter. And obviously, March 11th, we got Vancouver Playhouse in Toronto. We're coming April 22nd and 23rd. Get your tickets at akashsingh.com. Now let's get back to the show. All right, guys.
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Starting point is 00:26:25 You're going to get major discounts. Let's get back to the show. Now, now, who would I be if it was any woman? Amelia Earhart. Flying ass bitch. Do you know what I mean? She can't even do that correctly. I know.
Starting point is 00:26:38 She fucking died in the air. No, we don't know she died. We don't know she died. She didn't die, bro. She could be on an island. She could be in the Dominican Republic. Yeah. Living her life.
Starting point is 00:26:44 Her and Malaysia Air got the same fate. Yo yo how you can't fly better than asians did she start the stereotype about like women being bad drivers i had to had to or did that exist prior i don't know where does that come from a lot of drive before that and why are they bad drivers wait what do you mean they should be better drivers because they're like um there's this like uh they did some like crazy study about like women being like leaders and like managers and business and stuff like that and they said something how like men are more confident but women are more competent and the reason that is because like they overthink all their decisions yes because they're more insecure we're dudes we're just like nah that's it we got it and
Starting point is 00:27:25 if it's fucked up i'll fix it later exactly build up you know that elon musk's fucking boring company or whatever you know what i mean yeah like it sounded good yeah it's all fucked he'll figure it out now it's just traffic below motherfucker went from traffic above to traffic below but but amelia erhart man oh apparently it's jane jetson who's that from the jetsons who's that she started the woman or bad driver stereotype ah because her character was an awful driver they had like mad episodes where she was just like crashing the shit amelia erhart style just flying around and she's crashing into shit like where there's a lot more room yeah also in the future because they're flying the like the jets is not like yo she's
Starting point is 00:28:04 bad at driving now it's like yo she's bad at driving in 2060 wow like they're always bad drivers yeah jesus so this is destiny that's the only thing they did themselves they don't even walk on their own they got the fucking treadmill taking them everywhere yeah so the one thing they had them do manually she fucked up yeah yeah yeah why didn't they have automatic driving yeah i assume george hasn't got flown wherever he wanted to go. There was a robot. Have the robot drive. Rosie. Oh, that's a bitch robot, though.
Starting point is 00:28:29 You got to have a male robot to drive. Yeah, that's true. Now, who would I be if it was one woman? That's a great question. I don't know. I don't know. I know. Who would you be?
Starting point is 00:28:37 Fuck. Beyonce a good one? You want Jay-Z's fucking man boobs all over you every single night? Absolutely. Taking off his little tank top, them titties come flopping down. Yeah, that was the only reason I hesitated at Beyonce. Because you got to think about who that person's fucking. Because you got to fuck them now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:56 So that's a very important part of the decision. So, Al, who is it? Jessica Biel. Oh, shit. There you go. Baby Ben. oh there you go jess and timberlake bro yeah seeded up and everything yeah respect okay okay okay but that's who you would be as a woman isn't she the one that's like close to a billionaire nah nah nah that's jessica alba she's still hot it's crazy yeah it don't even make sense total smoke i'm like that he makes't even make sense. Total smoke. I'm like,
Starting point is 00:29:25 I don't even make sense. Total smoke. Damn near billionaire. That hot. Two movies. But tea. She made money in tea. Another white person
Starting point is 00:29:33 stealing y'all shit. You know, making that bread. When are Indians going to put out some fucking tea, dog? Hey,
Starting point is 00:29:38 we got it. Just don't already buy it. I thought it was like skincare or shit. Might have been that. What's the Jessica Alba's stuff? Isn't it Honest Tea or Honest Company It's like baby products it's just like organic
Starting point is 00:29:48 Yeah it's baby shit Baby shit But then also like soaps and all the other things Alright alright Mark woman I'd be my girl You'd be your girl Yeah bro
Starting point is 00:29:59 What's wrong with that? Is that cop out? I live in my own house. Miles got this one. The Pink Ranger. Kimberly, is this a better thing? If you'd be an Asian black guy, I'd be Bella from Scooby-Doo.
Starting point is 00:30:19 She knows all the facts. Nah, who would you be? Sandra Bullock. Sandra Bullock. Yeah. Oh yeah oh shit that's a good one that is a great one why is that cool you can have a black son in the blind side yeah and a real black son yeah nice wait she got a real black kid yeah yeah uh wait does she yeah she adopted some fucking kid hammeronian or something can you say the n-word if you adopt a black kid that's probably why they do it not to them i think that's kind of rude it depends if you name them that then maybe you'd have to right yeah can they
Starting point is 00:30:52 say it yeah interesting yeah i mean yeah because it's their experience yeah what if you're a white kid adopted by a black family then what oh shit oh that's a good question them parents should be locked up yo what the fuck is that about you know if you're a white kid you got black parents do you think you call them the m more when you're upset like they ground you and you're like these you think that that happens or no because they probably grew up hearing it all the time not as a hateful thing yeah but out of frustration they probably got all the time yeah it's weird if they're like yo your brother can say but you can't yeah the whole family potentially saying it but you yeah calling you it yeah whoa that's gonna slip yeah it might yeah and then if you say it out in public you gotta explain like nah my parents are black
Starting point is 00:31:42 son you wouldn't look at people funny black black couple that adopted a white kid, you'd be like, oh, fucking, you have no black kids you could adopt? I'm like, I'll give it up. Really? You're assuming they're putting them to work or some shit? Nah, it's like, why does it always just go one way? Yeah. White kids need to get adopted too, bro.
Starting point is 00:31:59 Word. What do you mean? What's wrong with that? Because we're the only people who adopt. Everybody else makes. If I adopt, I'm important i'm important that means black family's doing well enough where they can adopt yeah but you gotta understand like white people like we enjoy saving the world yeah it's their thing you know what i mean yeah but we also enjoy flexing like the same way that y'all like foreign whips we like foreign kids yeah you know what i mean i got me a foreign
Starting point is 00:32:23 you know what i mean like you got a foreign you know what i mean like you got a little cambodian running around like that's uh right yeah but you also have like burnouts that like get hooked on opiates and shit like that and they have to just toss their babies in the garbage oh yeah that's a good point there you go and then what those are the white kids yeah they get adopted too uh yeah i'm gonna adopt an indian for sure you crazy hell yeah dog ain't no indian orphans here come on we killing it here out there a different story ain't no indian orphan in america i promise you i i'll bet a hundred thousand dollars right now i'll take the indian fucking orphan in america look that shit up in the orphan databases
Starting point is 00:33:06 there's got to be a single indian kid no chance lance there's like some tragedy that happened to the family or something like that that's why we got uncles i remember one time you asked me if my parents ever hired a babysitter and i was offended i was like what the fuck you think my grandparents weren't yeah that's right i never my parents never hired a babysitter, and I was offended. I was like, what the fuck you think my grandparents were? Yeah, that's right. My parents never hired a babysitter. Yeah, but y'all had grandparents. Yeah, he didn't have grandparents, so it was different.
Starting point is 00:33:30 I didn't realize that at the time. I was like, how dare he insult my grandparents? If you have kids young, you don't ever need a babysitter. No, no. But if you have kids old... Yeah. Yeah. This could be an issue.
Starting point is 00:33:41 No choice. Bro, I can't find one Indian orphan now. I told you, bro. Son, we're not doing that shit here. Legends. Now, in India, it's a problem. So, I'll get, you know, I'll get to a dream. Would you get a Punjabi orphan?
Starting point is 00:33:52 Yeah, that's a good question, bro. I might get a little dark-ass kid, you know? Oh, really? Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my adopting a black person. Best of both worlds, you know? Jay-Z and R. Kelly right there.
Starting point is 00:34:02 Do you really think you'll adopt, though? I would love to adopt, yeah. Really? Yeah. That's fire. adopt yeah really yeah that's fire at least one kid now do you think you're more willing to have one too but to adopt because you already look at people who aren't directly related to you as family so it's not that yeah i mean that seriously like you call your like friends your sisters or cousins yeah my cousins are my sisters and brothers you know like i think yeah family is so much more like there's no term for cousin as far as i knew growing up you would never say that's my cousin my dad be like that's your brother that's your sister oh really so it just i think it's just easier to feel familial in that sense i didn't
Starting point is 00:34:37 know that um you guys are all my brothers you know i mean i i don't have a problem that's all like it's very easy for me and i think also uh you just want like i got a lot of help from people who weren't directly related to me blood related so i would like to pass that pay that forward and you feel like a kinship to indians yes of course i don't know what that is that feeling you don't you're friends with our gosh no outside of our friendship no meaning like i don't go like i want a scottish kid yeah yeah like i want to adopt a scottish i wouldn't scott i wanted an irish kid i want i wasn't raised so much in the culture that i would feel kinship from with anybody else that existed within the culture yeah and i could see how you'd want to help somebody else who was coming from that and you go to and probably white people go to these places the rich ones and they
Starting point is 00:35:17 see like poverty real poverty i gotta do something like a different level and you're like i got i want to help the kind of the opportunity i have is i can help people that are from where i'm from because there's still that it exists there but if you were really kind you would just give the family money so they could raise their own kids instead of stealing it said stealing the child well listen if that's a possibility i'll do that too yeah don't think i won't hey yeah you could do that shit right now you know that you know low-key that's fucked up a celebrity i didn't realize that buying the kids off of the family when they could just give the family the money they don't take them from the parents they don't show up to the hospital no they go to the orphanage nah
Starting point is 00:35:49 they're not catching baby elephants here that was the whole shit with madonna remember when madonna bought the kid and then the mom had like buyer's remorse or seller's remorse what she wanted losing isaiah a hallie berry movie in the 90s maybe it was hallie you're talking about indian giver but real talk they do that sometimes they buy it direct no middleman nothing show up she wants you want that organic i'm being dead serious i think that's happening right now i assume it's all aftermarket i don't think it's retail kids i think you could get them retail no wholesale yeah really yeah you could get kids wholesale you go up see which one has the biggest belly you're like all right you need some food and then you buy that one from the source that
Starting point is 00:36:33 is that's more organic yeah a hundred percent that would feel weird to me buying a kid from the parents it should especially when you're multi-millionaire you could give them you know twenty thousand dollars they could live forever well there's also like problems where the kid isn't actually uh taken from the family but taken from family put in an adoption center and then they adopt and then the family reaches out and goes yo that was we just thought the kid was going to school or something like see we lost the kid yes so they're stealing kids and then selling them to americans ah that's happened before there's historical precedent for that what happened didn't go so well wait tell me i'm missing it slavery fuck i didn't know that they did it like that i thought they stole the parents too yeah they did but i'm just saying you know i mean there's precedents yeah you can't just trust these white folks when
Starting point is 00:37:23 they pull up no never, never, bro. They stole the family. They just broke them up here. Yeah, I think we kept them as a whole. Well, at least you got to, you know, at least you got to take the cruise together. It's gonna be our fault. We gotta take it on. I swear, black people don't like cruises to this day. That's what I was wondering. I was just about to ask.
Starting point is 00:37:39 Yeah, but at least you know you're coming back. You think. Some of these COVID cruises, you never know. You would think black people would have learned how to swim. No, why? We don't want nothing to do with it. Because you might have to jump off a boat and get the fuck home at some point. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:54 We're not getting on boats. That is a good point. Is that why we think you can't swim? Because you didn't attempt it? Is that where it comes from? I'm being dead serious. Why do we think black people, you have this stereotype for being so athletic, but then there's also a stereotype for not being able to swim.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Because we don't grow up close to the beaches and waterfront property. Oh, yeah. There's not any black people in Long Beach. Miami. Yeah, that's the thing. It's not really a stereotype of the South, I don't think. Yeah, black people can swim in the South. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:20 I think it's just a Northern thing. I don't know if they can. I don't know if any of my roommates in college can swim. Well, I don't know if they can actually I'm one of my black friends can't Try to He was like, yeah, I don't know I was like bro, we're gonna teach you I just don't let's be clear when he hope he came to the time. He says one of my black friends He means my one black Always hear about this one black
Starting point is 00:38:42 Wonder if he exists and then I met him in person. He goes to a different school, bro. You never met him? Yeah, that's what it is. Okay, so what happened? How'd you guys ask him? How'd you bring it up? He was just like, I had to never learn how to swim. Okay.
Starting point is 00:38:51 And first, he's Haitian. So I'm like, how the Haitian not know how to swim? Like, you grew up on an island. Yeah. I mean, he didn't grow up in Haiti. But I'm like, yeah, your parents know how to swim. Like, why not? And he'd never learn how.
Starting point is 00:39:00 Okay. So I was like, all right, you're going to come to my house. We're going to teach you how to swim. Let's do it. Yeah. And then he never came over. He was like, yeah, I'm come to my house we're gonna teach you how to swim let's do it yeah and then uh he never came over he was like yeah i'm good he was trying to steal he still doesn't know to this day really yeah i think he thought it was a ploy my homie would go to pool parties with the floaties like that's funny that's a 25 year old man that's great
Starting point is 00:39:19 that's fucking brilliant yeah whoa al you could swim yeah yeah like you're good at it yeah because sometimes when black people learn how to swim for the first time they do the crawl stroke but they never come up for air so they just like pat they have that's what i do they just go like this and then they stop and then breathe i stand here and i get back in it it's so funny my sister swims holding her nose it's hilarious just going circles it's hilarious so what the fuck is it is it cultural expectation like i feel like white people i i don't know i feel like white people have to know how to swim it is expected of us poor rich you must know how to swim well parents also thinking like you have kids the safest thing that you can do to protect them because they're going to be going to pool parties, going to the beach.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Swimming lessons. Swimming lessons early. And the first lessons, like, have you ever seen they throw, like, a baby into the pool? And they learn how, like, they just turn over and go up. My boy's kids can do that. I saw him do it with his kid. Newborn-ass kid. Party trip.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Picked it up by one arm, dropped it in the fucking pool in front of me. Like a teabag, bro. Just dip this motherfucker in the pool, and the kid was just... and then rolls onto his back, and then slowly swims on his back to the end of the pool. It was unbelievable. You gotta do it early. It's like a one-year-old kid. Can't even talk, right? Bobby's kid.
Starting point is 00:40:37 Wow! Oh, Bobby would. Hawaiian ass. He would do that. Hawaiian ass. 100%. That shit would piss me off if I don't know how to swim, and I see babies swimming, I'd be like, pfft. I gotta learn this shit. You know what I mean? I'd to swim and I see babies swimming and I'd be like, I gotta learn that shit. You know what I mean? I'd be offended if white babies are swimming and I'm like a 30-year-old guy
Starting point is 00:40:49 and I don't know how to swim. Yeah. That would drive me crazy. Yeah. Why do you know? Because you're Puerto Rican? Nah, we would just take family vacays
Starting point is 00:40:57 at the hotel. But I drowned my first time trying and then I had to learn after that. Really? So I was there with my cousins and we were playing a game like we run from the deep end and try to make it into the shorter part and i just didn't jump as far so i landed in like the five foot area and i was like maybe like four foot at the top yeah and i was just dying and my cousins were laughing at me some white lady who
Starting point is 00:41:18 was just tanning jumped in to save me really yeah that's up bro i don't think they realized that i was like drowning drowning and they thought i was just like fucking around yeah yeah maybe they just tried to let me go that was gonna be my near-death experience oh really i was like three that i had no shit i was just on the step and then i know the step ended and i was walking and then it fell and i was just looking at the water mad clear and then uh uncle was supposed to be watching me didn't have any fucking clue my brother's on the other end and his friend was like yo where'd your little brother go and my brother couldn't even swim so his friend had to swim all the way over and then that was the only way i lived yeah doesn't that suck being
Starting point is 00:41:52 saved when your family's right there but you're saved by a stranger that's why i can't trust your fake uncle bro that's what it is if it was a real uncle he would have said real uncle you're right hey hey you know what i'm saying right bro fake uncles yo you white about that call everyone uncle. Of course you're going to drown, bro. That's what happens. It's too trusting. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:08 I'm fucked up. That's on you. Yeah, that's true. What's your near-death experience? Drowning was white? Bro, it was crazy, dude. I was on my honeymoon, and this fucking cliff just separated. It separated from the rest of the cliff in Brazil.
Starting point is 00:42:26 And yeah, it was nuts. I just made it out of there yeah yeah you ever thank covid for not sending you to brazil bro that is this is one of the craziest things i've ever seen this is insane yeah yeah just as a as a warning we'll play the video but people die people definitely die yeah yeah i can't believe how many people were okay to just share this like that's time i didn't know people died when I first heard it. Did you assume they lived? I didn't look at it that closely. That's such a cop-out, dog. I didn't look at it that closely.
Starting point is 00:42:51 If you watch it frame by frame, some people catch the wave. It's wild. Catch the wave? Yeah. Bodies just flying out of the water. That's catching a wave? I don't think that's catching a wave. I think that's dying away I think that's dying
Starting point is 00:43:05 I think they get thrown by the water I think the reason why this was okay to share is because it doesn't look real it looks like it's green screened it is a movie I don't even think our brains understood what was happening
Starting point is 00:43:22 have you ever seen a cliff just fall off I've seen avalanches I haven't seen a our brains understood what was happening. Have you ever seen a cliff just fall off? I've seen avalanches. I haven't seen a rock separate itself. It's unreal. I didn't know it was possible. You see glaciers? You know how people watch those things break off? They cause the waves.
Starting point is 00:43:36 But that makes sense because ice melts. You think, okay, that could happen with a glacier. You don't think a rock melts. You know what I mean? It was just so weird. Was there an earthquake or something? Have they found the cause of this? I think there was a lot of rain or something that they thought kind of loosened things up.
Starting point is 00:43:52 And then there's like a one-minute video where apparently they're speaking in Spanish or Portuguese. I don't know. But people are warning. The guys that are filming are warning everybody. Like, go. Get out of there. Get out of there. Get out of there.
Starting point is 00:44:02 For like a minute before. Yeah. And nobody really seems to move. And then you see it kind of move a little bit. And then people start trying to get out of the way. But it for like a minute yeah and nobody really seems to move and then you see it kind of move a little bit and then people start trying to get out of the way but it's too late we'll watch real quick oh my god look at this one boat this one boat son that one boat right there the red boat sees it's happening he floors it he probably saved every motherfucker i don't know if anybody died that was on that boat but they would literally all be dead that white right behind it too yeah that white boat right there that's just stalled out they're dead everybody on that boat is dead guaranteed yeah
Starting point is 00:44:32 insane insane and some people jumped off i wonder if jumping off the boat would help you i was trying to think of how i would survive it yeah i would have jumped off if you're not right if you're right under i'm assuming that's just a wrap but if you're like a little to the side do you jump off i mean because the rock is gonna sink it's so dense so it'll you gotta jump off and you gotta dive as deep as you possibly can yeah yeah dive as deep because the rock is gonna hit the water it's gonna be stopped like you know how you can shoot a bullet into uh like not a cup of water but there's a certain amount of water and the just the water itself will stop it yeah they do these. I don't know how deep. Maybe a bucket or something like that. But a bullet won't go.
Starting point is 00:45:07 No matter how fast a bullet's going. Water's really dense. Yeah, it's super dense. So it's going to stop the rock to a certain extent or at least stop it from going so fast it's just going to kill you on impact. Right? So I'm like diving and then I'm swimming. If I know it's falling right on me, I'm diving.
Starting point is 00:45:19 I'm swimming down as fast as I fucking can. Yeah. Not happening. Boulder, you're going to have to go 20, 30 feet. You can't do it that way. And I just hoping boulder you're gonna have to go 20 30 feet you can't do it that way and i assume a boulder would just sink to the bottom so it's possible that shit just drowns you at the bottom that's true and then you gotta try to come out of it suck you in could it create like a fresher zone 100 it's like titanic oh yeah remember when they jump off the boat and they're like yo the second we jump off just start
Starting point is 00:45:41 swimming yeah because when the boat sinks it's's going to take you down with it. Yeah. Yeah. Like there are people who probably survived the impact and then were sucked down with it. Yeah, it's insane. Yeah, foul. Crazy. So like what happens?
Starting point is 00:45:55 Is this type of tourism done? Well, the crazy thing is I feel like stuff like this happens often. Maybe not often, but like frequently, just like around the world. Like rock formations are just like sliding, falling. There's just never people there. You know what I mean? Yeah. So like frequently just like around the world like rock formations are just like sliding falling there's just never people there you know what i mean yeah so like this might happen all the time we just don't really know yeah because i don't cliff got that way somehow yeah yeah but the way that they explain it to us is that it's like erosion over millions of years yeah like you ever see these models never in the model do you see just a
Starting point is 00:46:22 section of the cliff fall off one year right they make it seem like oh wind was blowing against it and there was some sand and it slowly carved into this shape nah fam yeah that that thing fell apart in chunks probably yeah oh yeah they said there was extremely heavy rain in the area and a dike overflowed at an iron ore mine. Whoa, dude. You just wanted to say that. Come on. You just wanted to say that. Whoa, dude. You really wanted to just say that. Yeah, a dyke caused this.
Starting point is 00:46:49 Really? Yeah. So a dyke was just standing on the end of it, and that's what happened. Caused by a dyke's heavy flow, huh? Yeah. A Brazilian dyke. Unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:46:56 That's crazy. Them Brazilian dykes don't play around, bro. I guess not. Yeah, they are not playing around. What do you think was happening? You think she was doing a little TikTok video at the end of it? She was doing her little dance and then just that weight, that pressure, bro. Them comorbidities.
Starting point is 00:47:12 Them comorbidities caused that rock to fall. Okay, how many of these deaths are due to COVID? I think six. Six, right? Have they confirmed? Did the CDC confirm that most of the deaths were actually due to COVID? Yeah, yeah. Okay, good. Do you see them walking back all these numbers right now
Starting point is 00:47:27 what do you mean they're like saying like of all the deaths they said 75 of them uh the people had four or more comorbidities so they can't even confirm that the deaths were from covid yeah but i guess a comorbidity is still covid was the thing that put it over the top or they had four more things that were causing them to die and they just also had covid at the same time yeah but isn't that kind of like aids doesn't kill you it's the thing that you get after aids destroys your own system i'm telling motherfuckers a's killed me i'm not gonna die of no fucking cough yeah but the fact is the cough got you you. Nah, nah, nah, nah. That's the science.
Starting point is 00:48:07 Nah. You know what I mean? Nah. Trust the science. Nah. You can't just say nah if you die of a cough. Imagine that, bro. Ugh.
Starting point is 00:48:16 I know. A little wheeze kills you. Yeah. Crazy. Tickle in the back of your throat. You're dead. Yeah. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I got to tell you all
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Starting point is 00:49:53 Now let's get back to the show. In the beginning, they were just, every time COVID was in the system, they attributed it to COVID. And so now they're just saying like oh if they had other things we were not certain whether or not it was the covid that did it i mean i'd rather them say that instead of in the beginning they just said every single death was covid i feel bad for them man because they're trying to figure it out on the fly they're trying one they're trying to figure out on the fly and then two they also have to manage like human behavior right and in order to get us to do things you have to exaggerate right like we're not
Starting point is 00:50:26 going to recycle unless you tell us the world is ending in 25 years yeah right like that's the only way you can motivate human beings to change our behavior right it has to be imminent doom yeah hey bro we gotta look out for climate change why we're dead in 50 years right hey we need electric cars why we're out of oil in 10 years right right like we just need these extreme measures to get us to change our behavior because you know how easy it is for us to get stuck in our ways? Yep. We get one pair of jeans, we just wear them jeans. Right.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Right? It's hard to get us to change, right? Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, I almost feel bad for them a little bit because they knew, especially with the vaccine shit, they knew that it wasn't going to be, I don't know if they knew, but I'm sure that they assumed that this wasn't going to be i don't know they knew but i'm sure that they assumed that this wasn't going to be like a forever type of situation right but they can come just say
Starting point is 00:51:09 hey this will just kind of help you fight it yeah because most of us would be like well i've seen people get it they didn't die yeah i'll give this to my folks i ain't gonna do it yeah right but they want us to get just back to business how do we get back to once they got a pill once pfizer comes out with that pill that treats covid i don't plan to get another booster right because you have a treatment yeah why do that there's a there's a pill there's a pill that is it prevents it is it like that hiv if you get it treats if you get it exactly so the treatment boom and low-key that's what they want they want motherfuckers to keep getting covid yeah they keep buying the pills yeah boost so they only get you once yeah this
Starting point is 00:51:39 keep on getting omicron flu recron delta cron whatever new covid comes out they have a pill for you you're good to go they make all their money and we get back to work easy that's i think the tricky thing is that sometimes everybody just taking off 10 days from work or five days whatever it is sometimes that's more deadly to the economy and that's more deadly to people than the virus itself right and they can't just be honest and say that like when they dropped it from 10 days to five days like apparently that there were like a lot of people that were working in hospitals and shit they always had to do five day oh since symptoms did you guys read that no i was reading that that like it was always a five-day period for those people okay and maybe it's because they needed to get them back into work so they could treat people so now it's like they're letting in
Starting point is 00:52:20 california health care workers work with covid if they don't have symptoms wow interesting and it all goes to this it's like yo if everybody has to if if we have a covid now that's so contagious that the vaccine doesn't stop it right and you can get it just if you're next to somebody around somebody and immediately it latches on this is the omicron yeah yeah and it's not killing people yeah the big concern is how do we have people actually function in a society when nobody could work yeah like if everybody gets it and everybody has to take 10 days off hospital's gonna close airport's gonna close yeah bank's gonna close so then of course they gotta start saying all right fine it's just five days yeah right and
Starting point is 00:53:05 of course they could take the risk because even if you do get it you're not gonna die no yeah that's why so that makes sense because i was like y'all caused all this panic and then you're mad people are like oh flu flu rona's gonna kill us or delta cron or whatever that's called yeah that's not even it was apparently like a lab mix-up yeah but yeah you do kind of have to cause a panic to get people to listen yeah so i think you paint yourself in a real fucking corner because now when this thing isn't that bad yeah we're all still treating it like og corona yes that's killing mad people and you deserve the smoke yeah you deserve the smoke because you rolled the dice on treating it like it was crazy yeah not knowing that this new version was going to come out yeah and so you
Starting point is 00:53:42 i don't know if they knowingly lie but you knowingly withheld shit right and now you get the smoke for withholding and that's your responsibility you got to be accountable for that so we're allowed to be angry but at the same time i understand why they had to be so exaggerative right because we ain't gonna listen unless you exactly we didn't listen to corona started in like december january of 2019 we're like that's an asian shit nobody gave a fuck we got a couple cases here then finally everybody had to shut down in mid-march because we finally were like okay they're telling us this is crazy and if it wasn't for that probably numbers would have been way higher yeah it was funny i was talking to my boy and uh he was telling me about um like what's happening in canada because they just did another lockdown can i'm like why are they locking down
Starting point is 00:54:22 i'm like this don't make any sense to me like it's not killing people so what's the big deal and he goes uh he goes so here's the deal in canada they have to protect universal health care at all costs right right and if this so basically what they're trying to do is shut down to stop the spread because the spread will increase people going to the hospital even if it's not killing people there will be people they freak out and they go to the hospital and they got to pay for for that. And they, meaning the government, got to pay for it. And I'm like, well, dude, what about private businesses? He goes, that's not the government's business. The government's worried about universal health care.
Starting point is 00:54:54 They're not worried about them private businesses. And then Mark brought up a good point. He goes, yeah, but how does the government get revenue? The government gets revenue from them private businesses. And there's another thing that they also get revenue from. I forget exactly what he was saying but it is interesting that like corona is kind of showing the limitations of universal health care like it's a dream when everybody's healthy but when you got a global
Starting point is 00:55:14 pandemic which does happen it's not like there's no precedence for this yeah there's been global pandemics since the history the beginning of uh of human history right so it's like that is going to happen and it's going to stress that fucking universal health care. And all of a sudden, they're going to have to be making decisions that impact your freedom so they could protect their institution. Right. And they will continue to do it in Australia. They'll continue to do it in New Zealand. They'll continue to do it in Canada.
Starting point is 00:55:38 I imagine Europe is probably similar. Yeah. Because they have to. Yeah. They have no other choice. Yeah. They have to keep the cost down it's not even how do we keep people alive like how do we keep the cost for this system
Starting point is 00:55:50 down because if they stress the system and we get rid of you we have to get rid of universal health care that's a giant black eye on our perception to the world hell yeah we look weak we look like we poorly plan government all of of it. So just shut that shit down. Everybody will recover financially. And if they don't, we'll take care of that down the road. Kick that can down the road. But in the meantime, lockdown. I can't afford to pay this.
Starting point is 00:56:14 We can't afford to pay this as a government. That shit is mad vulnerable to like imagine like you run a business and at any point in time you hear about a new variant come out. Yeah. And literally the day that you hear about the new variant, it could be. And literally, the day that you hear about the new variant, it could be in South Africa, it could be in Greece, whatever it is,
Starting point is 00:56:29 you're just waiting until your shit gets locked down again. Yeah. Every single day. You can't plan two weeks out. You can't plan your menu for next week. You got your employees,
Starting point is 00:56:37 you got your staff. Like, that is terrifying, bro. And if it's like two cases, we're shutting down. That's it. The flip side, though, is if you get COVID, you don't got to pay 15 grand if you're in
Starting point is 00:56:47 the hospital for the month or whatever. Totally. Yeah. 100%. Canadians might look at it as worth it. I don't know. And overall. They might.
Starting point is 00:56:53 But at the same time, how many people do we know that have had COVID and had to go to the hospital and pay 15 grand? Giannis. Say what? Giannis. Just Giannis. And he might have got insurance. Yeah. You know? know yeah so it's like
Starting point is 00:57:06 costing you 15 grand i will say overall there's a global pandemic every couple of centuries it seems like so overall universal health care might be better but right now it ain't yeah fucking losers but they had spanish flu yeah 1800s i think like 1918 1918 so like every 100 years but there was also uh what's that, polio? There's like local shit. And like China will have, you know, a virus that pops out every couple of decades. It goes from pandemic to endemic. And what is the difference?
Starting point is 00:57:34 I think it's within your... Oh, within your thing. And then panic. Don't look at me. Why are you looking at me? I don't know. Mark usually knows shit like that. But there's always going to be something that's going to put stress on the universal health care system now i'm not saying our shit is better don't get me wrong i
Starting point is 00:57:47 would love for us to have universal health where it'd be great to not even worry about it we were having this discussion uh the other day about like how like um the planning for your your country is going to be dictated by your cultural desires right and it's no surprise to me that like places like spain and greece have this robust uh social system that just allows the people from those places i think italy's probably the same way to uh enjoy life in the way that they're accustomed to enjoy like motherfuckers just want to have a great meal sit and watch the sunrise have a nice espresso you know what i mean like when i was there it wasn't a bunch of people like us just going how do i fucking you know how
Starting point is 00:58:30 do i become the best in my industry and change the fucking game and what am i gonna do it was more like i'm gonna go do my job and then enjoy the fuck out of the rest of my life yes you know like france every year is like what about a 30 hour work week what about 25 hours and i get it because if you're maximizing the other hours of your week, and that's culturally what you're wrapped around. Like girls out there giving pussy to dudes who ain't even making no money, but they just got swag. They're cool.
Starting point is 00:58:55 You know, they're charming. They read books. If you take our ego out of it and desire to be great, that's a way better life. And I think that eventually you get there. I think that we're so young that the idea of being able to access money like we're all the sons of immigrants right so like the idea like whoa i could change my fortune yeah i don't have to exist in this yeah forever yeah whoa like that freedom thing that we keep talking about is so tantalizing but eventually i think we'll do the same thing the europeans did which is we just start to go hey you know what's really fun hanging
Starting point is 00:59:24 out with my family yeah you know what i mean i spent 50 years whatever getting to this point but now i'm 50 yeah exactly i could have been doing this my whole life just relaxing not taking august off yeah they do that in europe the whole month it's not every day la pausa or whatever they call in italy it's just like two to five whatever the fuck the hours are there everything is done so that's like yeah That's like lower Italy, but it's what it is, but they also know we're trained to say... The lower you get, the less capitalistic you get. But you work
Starting point is 00:59:51 hard and then you enjoy it when you're retired after 55, 65, you're like, what do you want to do then? At least have that retirement every August going on. When I worked with the Italians, they were always... This is the difference that I saw. Like Americans, it's like, okay, I like wine, right?
Starting point is 01:00:07 I can afford a $20 bottle. Now I can afford a $50 bottle and now $100 bottle. And I'm like, they learn how to taste wine better so that that $30 bottle they'll enjoy forever. And they're like, well, it's a fantastic bottle that you're enjoying. You even know how to really enjoy it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:23 Like we're out here enjoying things that aren't even real like we're discussing nfts yeah yeah yeah do you think someone in the south of greece yeah and his friends all 50 years old are sitting and thinking about how they can make their new nft or do you think that they just made like a saganaki cheese and they're so excited to like try it yeah and sit and enjoy the fucking. Now, I'm not saying that's all of them. Obviously, they've got capitalistic motherfuckers like that. And I'm not saying one is better than the other. But I think it's a version of maturity.
Starting point is 01:00:51 And I think eventually we get to that in 1,000 years or whatever. And when we start realizing that the finer things in life are the people that you love and your family and maximizing the time with them. I think it'll be less than a thousand years but yeah you think maybe everything's expedited now your kid bro i don't think your kid your kid might own like a bookstore dude and just nah i can make cheeses and shit nah no no maybe making cheeses maybe how long do you think it takes it depends on how wealthy you are like how much wealth you're born into i think ah yes because you have access to uh to realizing that wealth isn't the thing that makes you happy yeah and that is uh an experience that most people in history just do not have probably like you need luxury to know that that isn't
Starting point is 01:01:35 going to bring joy and that within that luxury it's the time to spend with your family that brings the joy right and then maybe after that you start realizing am i gonna fight tooth and nail and fuck people over and try to ruin their businesses so i could make mine succeed yeah when i know that the thing that makes me happiest is just having a cookout with the with the boys just move back home that's what antonio brown did he's like you know what all this work and shit it's not worth it's not for me wait before we get to ab i want to ask you a question yeah uh i had the wording i kind of lost it but something like do you want your kid say you have a son yeah to be as hungry as you are and if so how do you motivate him to be that hungry when life is gonna be exponentially
Starting point is 01:02:21 easier because of what you've set up i just want them to be passionate about something uh i love that's a great answer yeah and and like i don't care what it is that you're passionate about but as long as you're passionate about it you'll enjoy the time that you spent on it and if you're making 50 grand a year on it that's awesome you're making 50 million dollars a year that's awesome but like i just see i see the way that my my wife yeah i think just just enjoys the the blistered peppers yeah you know thing that she's doing and like she really enjoys it and it's like fun for her to like make these videos and it reminds me of like early when i started embarking on my career and like how there was never enough time for me to spend on it it wasn't a chore yeah like if there was 25 hours in a day i would spend the extra hour doing it right right and like so for me i would
Starting point is 01:03:10 just love my kid to be passionate as fuck about something it might not even be their job it might be the thing they do after their job right just knowing that they have that thing that's like this driving force in their life that everything in their life is pushing them towards yeah spending time doing that like okay good you're good yeah be a teacher even if you don't love teaching if it allows you to do this other thing great yeah yeah and i think it doesn't matter i think success at that point doesn't matter yeah because that's something i wonder about i don't want a kid who's like soft and i don't mean i just mean like spoiled reward their passions yeah and that's i think what a lot of like rich parents do is that they push their kids into certain directions.
Starting point is 01:03:46 And they go, this is an acceptable way to make a living or this is an acceptable job to have. Instead of just going, oh, you're passionate about that? I'm going to reward that passion. Yeah. And I was fortunate enough, my parents always did that. I wanted to open a bar once. My parents were like, okay, we'll put our house up if you need a down payment. And I was like, what?
Starting point is 01:04:07 Like, that is crazy. What if your kid wants to do it? What if he wants to open a gay bar? No. A gay bar, yes. Yeah? Always full. That's his passion.
Starting point is 01:04:15 What if he's like, yo, I just love just dudes and just gay bars. Yeah, that's great. Make it a great gay bar. Just be the best. Make it awesome, yeah. Actually, you don't even have to be the best.
Starting point is 01:04:23 You just have to fucking love it. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think gay bars, the best. You just have to fucking love it. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think gay bar is great business. Yeah? Yeah. Should we start one? Because they have to go there.
Starting point is 01:04:31 Why do you mean have to? Right, because we don't let them go to the straight bars, right? So they have to go there. What do you mean we? Huh? What do you mean we? You specifically. No, I don't do that.
Starting point is 01:04:40 You're the bouncer, dude. You need your vax card and your fax card. No, for real. Yeah, no, I think it's greatouncer, dude. You need your vax card and your fax card. No, for real. Yeah, no, I think it's great business, dude. Anytime you tap into niche business like that, fuck yeah. Yeah, you'll make a lot of money. Trans bar, shit, done. In LA, the gay bars are the ones who have lasted longest.
Starting point is 01:04:55 Hell yeah. Because they don't got to go home and take care of the kids at night. Drink every night of the week. Oh, they got the most money. Dinks, dual income, no kids. Gay couples. That's like a big thing. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:06 That's great business. Gay. I only want my kids doing gay shit. You know what I mean? Anytime you can have a place for a community to come be with their community, you're good. You'll survive. Yeah. Let's do that.
Starting point is 01:05:20 That's always safe. It's like a furry bar. You know a furry bar? Like you know furries? Yeah. I'm on. There's no bar for furries, don't think yeah you could do that i'd be passionate about that that's what i'm saying a dog bar dude we just open it up you have to be dressed as a furry to come in i think that's cool okay let's talk about ab yeah okay or is that what we want to talk about should we start the
Starting point is 01:05:41 podcast we're an hour in oh just one thing from before um i don't see america ever getting to that mature level of not caring about capitalism the way we do now because everyone around the world comes here for that yeah so you're going to keep introducing that like driving culture here i agree with you that is uh we're rewarding it is what you're saying like yeah yeah That is dependent upon us staying a superpower. If we drop to number two, number three, and we're kind of cool with it, then a different... What if the government's like, yo, we got to start taxing. We're going to have great social programs. They'd be taxing, yo.
Starting point is 01:06:19 60% of your money goes to social programs. They'd be taxing, yo. And everyone's taking care of it. There's not really any homelessness. Do you really see the government doing that? Maybe. I don't see the government doing that? Maybe. I don't see that. I'm so happy Andrew
Starting point is 01:06:27 paying all these taxes. It makes me so happy. You moved us back here, dog. You moved us back here. I'll punch Bernie Sanders in his face if I see him complain about motherfuckers not paying taxes.
Starting point is 01:06:38 Where's that same energy to those of us who do? Yeah. Why aren't they tweeting about us? Why don't they go, look at this great example of an American paying all this goddamn fucking money in taxes every single year so i can have a job right talk about me bernie talk about me pocahontas yeah bitch you gotta talk to your
Starting point is 01:06:54 parents about this too i gots to you always talk about your parents like how they were so honest with their taxes and how that was they doing that not making your money you know i'm saying you know what i mean the government uncle sam coming to snatch get your fingers out my pocket under uncle sam real talk get your hands out my pocket whatever yeah i mean is this crazy bro taxes are crazy fingers yeah there's grimy little fingers you know what i mean uncle salmon is grimy little fucking fingers. So we could do what? What are we doing with all these taxes? What are we doing with all these taxes, bro?
Starting point is 01:07:29 That's a good question. Infrastructure here sucks. Infrastructure here ain't shit. Schools ain't shit. Schools are fine. I went to them. You know what I mean? Bridges are fine. Highway's good. Why do we need to fix the potholes? Make better cars. Make's good. Yo, let's pay taxes. You know what I mean? Why do we need to fix the potholes? Make better cars.
Starting point is 01:07:45 Make better suspension. Yeah. Nah. That's a good point. Like, come on. Put it on the private businesses. Off-road. Make everything off-road. Off-road. RAV4. Flying cars. But that's not an argument. Take Elon Musk's taxes that he owes. Say he owes $10 billion. Let him spend that $10 billion
Starting point is 01:08:01 on something else outside. Yeah, let me spend that money. I wouldn't what would you i wouldn't spend it how about that what do they say what no that's good they took it for me because i wasn't gonna spend on shit they're gonna spend it on i don't know whatever they was gonna ask i wasn't gonna do it we want to do the brooklyn bridge good luck i'm buying a picture of a monkey i take the willie exactly i'm buying nfts i don't give a fuck that would be good though if you get to decide what you do with your tax money but you have to spend it yeah all right so what
Starting point is 01:08:31 would you do what would i do dead ass money dead ass what would i do dead ass if you after they took this is how it would have to be if you want to get the best spending they would have to take it away from me and then they'd be like nah psych i believe you'd spend it all right let's slide across the table and then it comes back so it's already gone and then now i get free money back how would i spend it yeah wow wow that's the question wow that is that's crazy you just described stimulus checks that is it but none of us give that shit away ever but ain't getting stimulated like your boy son it's different level you something. It's a different level of stimulation. If they gave it back to me, it's going to be a problem.
Starting point is 01:09:08 It's going to be a problem. What do you buy first? I'm not buying shit. I'm keeping it. What a problem. There you go. That's why they got to take it. They got to take it, bro.
Starting point is 01:09:16 They got to take it. No, they say, hey, we're going to take it, but you can have a say. You can have a say in it. And where it goes? You don't get the money. You just get to ride a... You're not a dad yet. Probably not going to school, but something in the comedy space,
Starting point is 01:09:26 a little program, a little social welfare. Probably buy some cars. Support the auto industry. Support the German auto industry. Porsche, baby! Can they get the real one? If you think we would put money
Starting point is 01:09:41 toward a program for comedians, you're out of your fucking mind. Like a shuttle to gig to gig? Nah, dude. Come on, dog. God damn. Nah, these taxes are crazy, though. These taxes are crazy.
Starting point is 01:09:51 Hey, you wanted to come back, dog. Yeah, these taxes are crazy. They're still crazy down there in Miami, too. Yeah, but not as crazy. Ain't no state tax. Say what? No state tax. Yeah, but still, the state tax isn't what gets you.
Starting point is 01:10:01 Motherfucking federal is what gets you. That federal government gets you Son are we going to Puerto Rico or what Son I'm going to Monaco What is happening Yo we're going to Monaco son We're not paying no taxes We're a bunch of fucking European tax cheats
Starting point is 01:10:15 Bunch of goddamn pedophiles Storing their money in Monaco Hell yeah You know So why are you going there Say what I'm not going to be a pedophile I'm just going to store my money there You know what money there who knows how to hide things better than pedophiles good ass
Starting point is 01:10:30 come you want to hide yeah they got some cum they want to hide too yeah that was gross well you're gonna live there also yeah yeah you're gonna live in the place say what you're gonna live in the place where you're hiding your money yeah probably i don't know no i'm not gonna do it because i'm too fucking lazy to fight it, but I'm just tight. So I'm just yelling at my business managers now. I'm just, why don't you tell me more fucking ways where I could cheat the goddamn system? Do you know what I mean? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:55 The fuck? Yeah. You know there's all these goddamn tax write-offs that we should be known about? Yeah. You know why everybody got a G-Wagon? Why is that? Because you can write the whole thing off. The whole thing off. If your car-wagon why is that because you can write the whole thing off the whole thing off cars over 6 000 pounds you could write the whole thing off the tesla suv apparently qualifies i guarantee they made that shit over 6 000 pounds
Starting point is 01:11:13 so you could do that so i want to know about all these fucking loopholes these rich motherfuckers know i was renting a g-wagon miami motherfucker that's what i said to my business manager i was like the fuck you think i was doing renting the goddamn car I could have bought it and got it for free And then put it on Toro And rented it back out So you write off 100% depreciation Then the next year you could sell it and those things hold their value Matter of fact they're selling for over
Starting point is 01:11:34 So now you're selling it back for more And you wrote off 100% depreciation I have no taxes now that I got to pay them Will you do my taxes? You're good You're good. You're good. Just give the government that money. You don't even need to worry about it, bro.
Starting point is 01:11:52 If you don't pay, the government's like, alright, it is what it is. If I don't pay, they come to collect. Send me a text like, come on, bro. Really? They're going to do this? Really, fam? I can't take this from you. Fucking taxes, bro. I get why motherfuckers,
Starting point is 01:12:07 you know what I mean? No, I don't. You mean tax fraud? Yeah, I get, no. I don't know what you're saying. Is that what you're saying? He's saying, I get why they pay accountants.
Starting point is 01:12:14 No, I wasn't going to say that. He's saying, I get. You're going to say tax fraud, I think. No, I wasn't going to say tax fraud. I get why, you know what I'm saying? Motherfuckers pay their taxes.
Starting point is 01:12:24 Felony tax evasion. Mother pay their taxes pay their tax attorney I'm trying to find out how to say it you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying if the south left the north not for slavery if there was like yo slavery's
Starting point is 01:12:41 whack like we gotta stop slavery but y'all gotta stop taxing us where's the flag baby we out you know what I mean If there was like, yo, slavery's whack. We got to stop slavery, but y'all got to stop taxing us. Where's the flag, baby? We out. You know what I mean? Let's go. Right?
Starting point is 01:12:52 Yes or no? If the South just said, we're leaving America. We're leaving the North. All we got to do, if anybody who just doesn't want to pay taxes, just come down here with their boys. It's done. But then what happens when your car falls in a hole? The South will rise again. What happened when my car falls in a hole, yeah exactly do i look like i live in belize
Starting point is 01:13:08 to you but you're gonna live in belize but there's no it's cement bro it's cement who's paid we've been bombing the middle east forever they still be driving fucking cars around get a fcv dog get a g wagon depreciate 100 and in the new south it depreciates 200 really it's free g wagons for everybody no yes that's the rules i didn't know that yes it is are you gonna be president of the south no why i don't want to do all that that's too much work i just want to enjoy the wealth that the north don't get anymore okay the fuck you doing with this money i'm about to give you teachers say what what about teachers i don't know but some teachers need to thank me this year paying for their asses.
Starting point is 01:13:46 Then firemen need to say hello to me when I walk down the street. Your house is on fire. They need to salute you. I want all that. You live in the South. Your house is on fire. No taxes. They don't have fires in the South.
Starting point is 01:13:56 They don't have fires in the South. Name one time there was a fire in the South. Charleston Fire. No. Yeah? No. Uh-huh. No.
Starting point is 01:14:03 That was the North brought that shit to Charleston. Wait, really? Yeah. General Tecumseh Shermanerman total war scorched earth scorched motherfucking earth and that shit came from where them tax hungry northern pigs yeah yeah yeah okay i'll tell you what your house burns down you got all that tax savings you buy a new house damn right and you get insurance we're still gonna have insurance in the new South. Dumbass. Yes. I didn't know about the South. You didn't know that we're going to have new insurance in the South?
Starting point is 01:14:31 I didn't read the pamphlet. The new free South. Atlanta's going to be the capital. What about police? Oh, I love that. Atlanta's the capital, bro. That's good PR, too, because it's a black city.
Starting point is 01:14:38 Black people don't run it. There you go. There it is. Black people, y'all get to run it. However y'all want. Black people, y'all want to pay taxes? Nah. Okay. No, we don't.
Starting point is 01:14:47 Okay, PPP loan? Forgiven. Y'all fucked over the northern government with that PPP loan? Forgiven. You need to run. I won't be able to run as fast as y'all. I'm a jog for president of the south, but we're not going to get into a running competition. Okay, now I'm serious. The new south.
Starting point is 01:15:04 Unless, of course, the North is interested in my offer. In which case? Fuck them Southerns, man. We're taking it up North. No taxes. Okay? First thing we did is stop slavery. Second thing we did is stop slavery from the state. Taxation is slavery.
Starting point is 01:15:20 Yeah, we're slaves. We're slaves to the government and we gotta stop it again. Yeah. I'm Abraham Lincoln in this bitch. Yeah. I'm stopping taxation. There's no more taxes, bro. Four score.
Starting point is 01:15:33 And seven years ago. What happened? Young Schultz came on the scene paying too much goddamn money in taxes. Yeah. Say what? Four scores. That's a long time. How old is that? How many scores?
Starting point is 01:15:43 That's 20 years. That's 20? That's like 20 years, yeah. Wait, what's the score? Seven, right? No. It's not football rules? That would just be five scores. Yeah, it would be Four scores. That's a long time. How old is that? How many scores? That's 20 years. That's like 20 years, yeah. Wait, what's the score? Seven, right? No. It's not football rules? That would just be five scores.
Starting point is 01:15:49 Yeah, that would be five scores. He wouldn't say four score and seven years ago. He'd just say five scores. What the fuck is a score? I think it's 20. It's like when these British people use stone. You know what I mean? I lost four stone.
Starting point is 01:15:59 It's like, bro, shut up. 20 years. What is four score is 20 years? It's 87 years ago. No, no. One score. Yeah. 20 years. It's 20 years. G's up. Yeah. Okay. That's 87 years ago no no one score yeah 20 years it's 20 years up okay that's 87 years 18 years ago one score in 18 years ago your boy slid out sandra
Starting point is 01:16:12 cameron let's go mad difficult difficult like like i don't know maybe it was a dilator. Maybe mama got it like that. Damn. You know what I mean? And she was 35. I came out at 35. Oh. You know, not a lot of room in the womb. Oh, shit. You know what I'm saying? That's why my skin's so tight.
Starting point is 01:16:31 How many weeks were you in there? Say what? Say what? How many weeks? How many weeks? Yeah. I was in there like eight months. Your boy was ready to go.
Starting point is 01:16:39 Oh, really? Yeah. Early riser? Premature. 10 pounds and premature. Preemie? If I went to nine months. Oh, this explains it.
Starting point is 01:16:45 Yeah. It explains it. You didn't know I'm preemie, bro? Nah. 100%. I didn't know. So you were younger then, I thought. Say what?
Starting point is 01:16:51 You were younger than I thought. Yeah, by at least a month. I am younger. I've been here longer. That's a good ass point. That's a good ass point. Just blew your fucking mind. Now that you guys make sense too somehow.
Starting point is 01:17:02 Just blew your fucking mind, dude. How are we both making sense? No, I wasn't premature I think I was over I think I was over for real I was definitely overcooked I came out full head of hair I told y'all this right where they thought they left me at the hospital
Starting point is 01:17:21 when I was in the room with all the other babies I had full head of hair like I was big as fuck and they thought that my parents just left me at the hospital when i was in the room with all the other babies i had full head hair like i was big as fuck and they thought that my parents just left me at the hospital man why do they think they left you because i was grown fam i was like talking around for this like y'all want to bust a titty out your boy hungry but yeah so i think that we have to do a new thing with taxation. Who's not on board with that? I'm on board. Taxes should be 25% until you make crazy money. Then zero.
Starting point is 01:17:52 And then it's not what you think you should contribute. It's church, bro. That shit work for church, right? What if I think nothing? Yo, church would be making money. That's a good point. Church would be making money. They ask for 10%.
Starting point is 01:18:02 They get wild money. They don't even ask for 10%. They just give you a little fucking bucket. It's an offering trade. There should be a good point. Church would be making money. They ask for 10%. They get wild money. They don't even ask for 10%. They just give you a little fucking bucket. It's an offering trade. There should be a tax offering. Oh, hey, I'll offer you my tax plate. How much do you want to put in it? I would just do a inheritance to the country.
Starting point is 01:18:13 Inheritance to the country. I'm going to keep all my taxes forever. When I die, you get all of it. Boom. I don't need it anymore. What about your children? And then if you spend that shit, if you spend... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 01:18:22 You going to fuck your kids? Are you Jim Jones' mom? Holy Jim Jones. that shit if you spent whoa whoa whoa whoa you gonna fuck your kids holy jim jones this guy just went dip set on his fucking kids bro what is happening right now mark not even from harlem yeah no you say you're just gonna save up all your money but then motherfuckers are gonna spend all their money before they die yeah and what they're gonna do is they're gonna spend it on their kids businesses they're going to find a way to transfer that wealth without paying a piper. That's fucked up. But if I get to choose what I'm going to do, that's what your platform is. I'll save it up until I die and then you get
Starting point is 01:18:51 all my money. Boom. I'll give it right to you. But there might not be any money left. And also we need missiles and shit to make. If I knew I was making missiles, bro, that's different. You might be able to get this money. In the South, you're making missiles for sure. 100%. And if I could fire them, if I could press the button, if there's like a fucking wedding in the south hell yeah if there's an iraqi wedding and we think a terrorist is there and i get to push the button that's worth my tax
Starting point is 01:19:12 money yeah yeah what there's a terrorist you're only gonna hit the terrorists right i'm only gonna hit the terrorists and if you don't come on these are drone strikes bro it's very accurate what do you think this is a brazilian rock that's how our drone strikes be right jeez what what what okay point is there's better ways to do it there's a better system and we can be the change that we want to see in the world that's what i've been saying show us for president 2032 i'm not going to be president i'm a prime minister yeah pm i'm a PM. Uh-huh. Do you know what I mean? Legs all open. I don't know. What? What?
Starting point is 01:19:46 Why are your legs open? Why are you going to be PM? Are you changing to socialist? No, I'm not going to be socialist. We're going to be the opposite. Fascist. Okay. Can we be fascist?
Starting point is 01:19:55 I think so, yeah. Has anybody done that right? No, no. That's the thing. It's like communism. Like, everyone always says it's bad, but no one's ever done it the right fascism. Nobody even knows what fascism is. You would be the right fascist.
Starting point is 01:20:05 Can I be honest with you? If you know the definition of fascism, you're a f***er. I mean that. Yo, son. You don't mean that. Son, son. I mean that. What is it?
Starting point is 01:20:16 Good thing, because I'm about to look it up. Yeah, exactly, because you're not, bro. I'm good. You're not. Right, Al? I'm straight up. You don't know what a fascist is? I have no idea.
Starting point is 01:20:23 Come on, bro. F-A-G-I-C-S-M. What's a fascist? Mark, what's a fascist? Why are you asking me? I know. You were taught in school with your Marxist education. Dub, what is it?
Starting point is 01:20:35 Dub, what's a fascist? What's a fascist? Well, he has experience. What did he teach you about? He's been taught that since he was fucking two years old. In Shabbat dinners. They always talk about fascism. Go.
Starting point is 01:20:42 An authoritarian government. Fucking hate those liberal cucks. Liberal democracy is not okay. But is it the government is connected with the businesses or something like that? One leader. No, they want all control. And they're not saying that it's like the belief like communism
Starting point is 01:20:59 or like everyone's working together. They're like, no. One dude at the top is making decisions. Control everything. Centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader. And then what's bad about it? No one's ever done it right. Yo, Singapore, lit.
Starting point is 01:21:14 Yeah. They're fascist. Well, they got a dictatorship. Oh, shit. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because it's a new year, and who doesn't want to make some easy changes to their personal hygiene routine to make it a little cleaner that's where native comes in
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Starting point is 01:22:20 Go there, check it out. So this year, up your personal hygiene routine with Native. Go to nativedo.com. That's N-A-T-I-V-E-D-E-O.com slash flagrant or use the promo code flagrant at checkout and get 20% off your first order. That's nativedo.com slash flagrant or use the promo code flagrant at checkout for 20 off your first order and let's get back to the show well since you like singapore so much here's some laws that they have all right give me the laws all right i've not been to singapore we live in lights or a thousand dollar fine okay for annoying others with musical instruments singing in public puerto rican how many puerto ricans are in singapore look at the puerto rican population of singapore all in jail
Starting point is 01:23:01 wait but what about the showtime motherfuckers on a train yeah that's them too do you think that they have that come on do you think they have showtime on a train oh yeah they do kung fu and flips and shit yes they are yeah and how do you arrest them when they smoke bomb out of there how are you gonna arrest them when they have the ability to disappear alex but aren't the police kung fu motherfuckers also yeah but they're not gonna apparate to the same place they're gonna apparate back to their lair and that's it jesus dude this guy knows nothing dude how about this three years in prison or and or a ten thousand000 fine for connecting to someone else's Wi-Fi. Yo, fuck them. Fuck them, bro. Fam, act like you don't feel like this
Starting point is 01:23:49 when somebody does this to you. You got to put yourself in the shoes of the aggrieved person. Yeah, or sandals. Or sandals, too. Because it's more of a sandal climate, I'm going to be honest. Yes, it is, yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:59 I mean, it's hot, bro. You can't walk around no Tim's there. They got motherfucking fan suits. When they do construction out there, remember dudes fan suits yeah they have a fan blowing air into the suit they all look like missy misdemeanor elliott feeding pigeons that's a 500 fine say what feeding pigeons fuck pigeons they should never eat smoking in public that's another five that's disgusting i don't believe that walking around your own house naked three months or two thousand dollar fun i was thinking about that today i was thinking about that today is should that be illegal no this is actually interesting can i walk around
Starting point is 01:24:33 my apartment naked knowing full well that the people across the street can see me for you yes it should be illegal but is it indecent exposure why for me no because your balls hang crazy out the back they shouldn't be they shouldn't be looking that's not them because your balls hang crazy out the back They shouldn't be looking That's what I'm saying Because your balls are insane My balls hang crazy out the back I'm walking around on my hands and feet It's like you see a bulldog I think he walked around tucked to the back
Starting point is 01:24:57 You swing your shit around like a billy club That shit's insane You look like Santa Claus Swinger should have ran like a billy club, bro. That shit's insane. That should be legal, bro. You look like Santa Claus. It should be illegal. No, it does look crazy from behind for me. It looked like some brother can you spare a dime shit. Remember the Dust Bowl dudes with a little stick?
Starting point is 01:25:16 That's what I'm saying. Yeah, your knapsack. That's what it is. Not flushing the toilet. That's illegal. But is that illegal for me to just walk around naked in my home knowing that other people could see me? It shouldn't be.
Starting point is 01:25:26 It shouldn't be. But at the same time, if we live in such close proximity, there could be like children that look out their window innocently and then they could see a naked dude. But they got blinds. They just see silhouette. They're not seeing. Fam. Come on.
Starting point is 01:25:37 You're not showing us. You're saying I make the room dark? Kick it! I'm scared of you motherfuckers. I'm scared of you motherfuckers well they might not know it's a grown naked man they might think it's the St. Bernard's ears or something they might think it's a doggy
Starting point is 01:25:58 okay we have a guest ding dong ding dong we have a guest in a motherf a guest ding dong ding dong bing bong uh we have a guest in the motherfucker but it's not bing bong not everybody's gonna think it's nam's one in here you said ding dong that is true we have a guest so we have to bring our guests in here but there might be one more story that we have to cover before our guest gets in here because we're gonna do feelings no
Starting point is 01:26:21 facts with our guests that's how we rock shit with the guests yeah okay but what do we have to cover right before that everything yeah six topics yeah we didn't cover another let's just cover it you know whatever all right we're gonna do one more and then we're gonna bring in mark all right spin the wheel my brother kick it all right you want to talk about connie and julia fox yes okay go talk about it the best way to get back at your ex kanye's doing this to get back at his ex yes right and i don't even know if he's doing to get back at it but maybe he's doing to like change public perception about him because he was kind of getting dragged yeah via kim's relationship yeah right So now it's like the conversation has been shifted to Kanye and his fake relationship that he is masquerading as.
Starting point is 01:27:14 Yeah. He's going over the top. He's going over the top. Like, mad corny. Like, bringing a photographer with him on a date. But what's your option? You can either be Will Smith and be like, oh, shit. Super cucked.
Starting point is 01:27:23 Or you go over the top and be like. I respect the Kanye. Dude, that is a great way look at the white girl with fat dumper white girl with fat dumper is unstoppable there are white girls with fat dumpers that for some reason are not famous like they're satisfied just like being on instagram or like like modeling fucking yoga pants or some shit yeah and it's just like you know what you could do you're unstoppable yeah white girl fat dumper unstoppable alex yeah for him for sure absolutely they got their own porn category um they do pardon fog what is it say it again fog fog fog fat ass white girl there's bro pog there we go yeah what is the what is pog
Starting point is 01:28:09 I think it's fat ass white girl but it's spelled with ph oh yeah that's what I was getting at bro fat ass white girl
Starting point is 01:28:18 yeah yeah I got you yeah according to the definition it's an offensive sexist term used to describe a white woman who has a large butt oh
Starting point is 01:28:24 yeah what dumb bitch wrote that definition skinny ass bitch yeah i hate her dog okay but this is why it's a great up because it's it's just a younger kim white girl fat dumper that's what kim was it really is kim got kids fucking disgusting i like i like them god please god please bro come on but you got kids that shit is gross dude no she's a milf now that's lit no you're not a woman anymore once you had kids now you're a mom you know that's some indian shit that is some indian shit rapper in silk bro yeah yeah it's over i can't defile my mom i can't defile a mom like that yo but you don't think that you'll continue to have make love to your wife once you guys are married we stopped already let's go
Starting point is 01:29:08 no but he got the younger her that's what i'm saying you got the new white girl with a fat dumper kim we've been seen now it's just like oh i got you but yeah but you gotta eat away your ego this is kanye doing it for him he wants to know if he still got it. He takes Amber out the strip club, turns her into a star. Takes Kim from doing sex tapes with Ray J, turns her into a star. So he took the movie star and turned her into a white girl with a dumper? She's not up there yet. No, she wasn't up there yet. That's a great point.
Starting point is 01:29:38 And he wants to know if he could still do it. And it's crazy because it's happening. This girl doing interviews. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this is kind of wild. 100%. I'm just saying he could have probably had a bigger transformation than a girl that's already in movies. Not that she's famous, but there's something.
Starting point is 01:29:53 You know what I mean? He could have really made a black girl famous. Yeah, nobody was talking about her. Nobody was talking about her. And now people are talking about her. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So ultimate stroke to ego, like he's crazy.
Starting point is 01:30:08 Yeah, that is actually impressive. it's not even about the girls about if he can make it if he can still do it that's that's what i was always saying about the maga hat it's like can i make this cool can i flip this fucking black rain rain boots cool yeah i'm not gonna lie them boots them like uh the ones that look like a bubble jacket yeah those are fire i would wear them shits. You know what I'm talking about? I would not. Not most. I would say most. I would say most.
Starting point is 01:30:30 I think he was missing for a minute, bro. Nah. He was missing for a minute. Just when he was on that MAGA hat shit, I wasn't rocking his stuff, but it's still kind of, it's heat. You like the MAGA hat? You was into the MAGA hat a little bit?
Starting point is 01:30:40 Well, not his, though. I had like the cool brim with the- Yeah. And a patch on the side. That's what I tell people. That's what I tell people. Whenever I rock the MAGA hat, they're like, Morgan, what are you doing? a patch on the side that's what I tell people that's what I tell people whenever I rock the Magga head they're like
Starting point is 01:30:47 Morgan what are you doing I go no that's the Kanye one it's cool yeah why'd they do that for Off-White that's like literally
Starting point is 01:30:53 that's on-white oh yeah that's on-white damn bro yeah man okay so this is the super flex and this is what it is
Starting point is 01:31:03 he found the perfect thing to fit his ego and everybody's talking about it there's so much attention he's happier than he's ever been he's about to drop fire music do you think he's gonna be inspired i hope so yeah still he's might still be too religious so yeah yeah donda he was supposed to be hungry again and it didn't really there was there was tracks but it wasn't life of Pablo. That's true. That's true. You know, it's interesting, like, hearing the girl, Julia Fox, talk about, like, their dates. These interviews are so fun. Like, one of the ones is, like, and then after dinner, we went back to the hotel, and he
Starting point is 01:31:34 had gotten all these clothes into the hotel. He filled up my whole room with clothes. I didn't even know how he did it. And it's like, you don't know how he got clothing into a hotel room? Have you ever traveled before? Have you ever traveled with clothing somewhere? He just pre-planned it, because he, like, you don't know how he got clothing into a hotel room? Have you ever traveled before? Have you ever traveled with clothing somewhere? He just pre-planned it because he landed that day. So he landed, he went straight to dinner or whatever the case is, and then the hotel.
Starting point is 01:31:52 Oh, Alex, I know. Nah, but she was pointing out the fact that he just touched down that day and then had all this whole shit. And had all that shit planned. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he's not Kanye fucking West. Yeah, how does a billionaire who's in charge of a clothing company get such a thing done? Yeah. I mean.
Starting point is 01:32:07 Seamless. I get sushi to my apartment in 30 minutes. I can't get four sweaters to hang on a rack? How do you do that? Sushi? Yeah. You never done seamless? I've heard of it, I think.
Starting point is 01:32:17 Come on, bro. Hey, priority delivery, dog. Do that shit. Dollar TV. DoorDash, bro. They got it, man. You're worth it. Yeah, he's trying sometimes
Starting point is 01:32:25 nah he still gets home-cooked meals this guy oh that's right now for now we'll see we'll see i keep trying to keep that going yeah like buying equipment and shit i got a pasta maker i'm like yeah that's good keep it moving bro yeah anyway so yay so what do you think the next move is you don't think he's actually gonna marry her there's no chance like a real thing oh i think it's real you really yeah interesting yeah and do you think it's possible that like they could be both so addicted to clout that they believe in their relationship so like um and this is maybe a little tie back to like the tom brady ab thing it's like i think tom brady and i think i think ab are friends and ab brought up this thing where he's like uh I mean why am I
Starting point is 01:33:05 your friend because I'm good at football and it's like yeah yeah and if that's the only reason why you guys are still friends after knowing each other for a year that's on you like you could have developed other things yeah he had you in his house yeah like y'all live together like you couldn't form a real connection watch some fucking country western movies or some shit like have something else that you have connected yeah on right like so what i'm here but it is totally normal if two people are passionate about the same thing that they could be friends right i mean like the the shittiest version of this is obviously like drug addicts but like you see it i think a lot of times with your passions comedy like there's a lot of people that are friends
Starting point is 01:33:42 because of comedy and they share a passion the most important things in their lives. And then if they both quit comedy they might not be homies no more. So I wonder if they actually both believe that they like each other
Starting point is 01:33:53 because they're both getting fed with so much positive attention which is the real thing that they're addicted to. Like a crackhead couple who really believes they're in love but in reality
Starting point is 01:34:02 they're both just out here trying to get that crack. So I'm like does it start to morph your feelings right like will the girl start going i think i actually really like him yeah and will kanye start going no i'm really feeling this girl maybe i'm feeling so filled by this other stuff in my life i think this is yeah i don't i think it's just complete revenge she she kim dumped him he's begging to have her back in concerts yeah she with pete davidson this young fucking kid who already fucked everybody he's eating all the negative pr she's getting all the good pr and he's like oh you don't think tuka played this game we can go yeah i'll fuck i have threesomes in fucking hotels i'll get with
Starting point is 01:34:42 this girl i'll live it up you must must have forgot. I'm richer than you. Bro, you know what's crazy? Kanye did like three different black girls and nobody gave a fuck. Yeah. One white girl, bro, with a fat ass. The entire internet is on fire. Did you notice that? No.
Starting point is 01:34:57 Like he was on dates with a few black chicks. Nobody said anything. He had a hotel. Two black shorties came out the room. There was a picture. Oh, yeah. People said, yeah. Don't even mention their names. One white girl. I think it's like fabricated. That like he shorties came out the room. There was a picture. Oh, yeah. People said, yeah. Don't even mention their names.
Starting point is 01:35:05 That's what makes me think it's fabricated. That he's putting out all the stories. He's pushing all the narrative that he wants. He got to be. Oh, yeah. And that's why he's just selecting the girls that he's trying to get. Yeah. Somebody reported that.
Starting point is 01:35:16 That's what he's doing. It's like, what tag works? What punchline? Ooh, white girl, fat ass? All right, let me go back to the well. He tried out the sisters, and then the internet didn't run for it. One white girl with a fat ass yeah front page he's like an impressions comic he tried to do these jokes but it's like do that christopher walken fam yeah all right well listen we got a guest that we got to bring in here so we're gonna stop down
Starting point is 01:35:41 for a second and then we're gonna come back with some more stories and feelings and effects. All right? All right, what's up, everybody? We're back. And we're back with a good buddy of mine from the UK, from across the pond.
Starting point is 01:35:52 Comedian Adam Rowe is in the building. Thank you. First time on Flagrant 2, Adam Rowe is here. I met Adam when I was filming Views from the CIS.
Starting point is 01:36:02 You met him as well. Yeah. And I know that he doesn't remember you but he's going along with it but it's okay it's fine he don't remember white people I don't remember white people don't take it personal
Starting point is 01:36:14 I had two different dudes open for me in London remember we filmed only thing I remember was the food after when we went to the Indian spot did you come with us to that? no I met you beforehand though we put the... Only thing I remember was the food after when we went to the Indian spot. Did you come with us to that? No. I met you beforehand though, so that means you had twice on that last night.
Starting point is 01:36:31 Yes, we did. We might have done that. So basically, Adam opened up for me when I was doing one of the London shows. And he reached out and he had a really funny clip about your girl trying to peg you. Or something like that. And I remember I was like... Because there were different people that reached out and uh and you had a really funny clip about your girl trying to peg you yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:36:45 something like that and i remember i was like because there were different people that reached out and uh they would like send clips and i was like all right let me just look i never look yeah but for one reason i just decided to look you up and that was the one that i that i clicked and it was really fucking funny what was it what was it i don't want to make you do the bit but you can the idea of the bit was a girl once was like can i fuck you in the ass and i was like you haven't got a dick and she's like i've got a strap on obviously and i'm like that's not obvious that's never obvious you've got it you've got to open with that and she's like oh well i've i was like did you just buy that assuming i'd be into it this is all true by the way this all happened and i was like you've bought that just and brought it here assuming i'd do it and she's like oh no i've used it loads of times that's like we're getting a new one at least like i could maybe be talking to this but like we need
Starting point is 01:37:33 a new one she's like i've cleaned it i'm like there isn't enough bleach on the planet to make that go near my arsehole it's not happening so did it happen or not no i've never done it okay no i was always wondering about that but we didn't have enough of a rapport for us to get into that initially but you did great and that was a lot of fun and then i've really seen you fucking blow up and your podcast i watched the clips you guys are putting out all the time what's your podcast co-host name it's called hava wed no no but your co-host what's his name don nightingale dan nightingale yeah yeah yeah yeah that shit is fun man you guys have a good anyway so you're here and now you're on flagrant too and we're going to get into it because a lot of things that we haven't spoken
Starting point is 01:38:07 about just yet but we want to get you in the room one thing that i want to help you understand because you're here in america and i want you to learn about american culture yeah and i think it's important that we start with american cultural stories yeah and um are you familiar with jim jones and dipset no okay well well, Jim Jones is a rapper. You've probably heard some of his songs. And he said recently that he learned how to make out from his mom. Yeah, I have the clip here. You want to see it?
Starting point is 01:38:32 Oh, yeah, maybe you should play it. Yeah, I'll pull it up. What? Shout to Angela Yee. What? No. Shout to Angela Yee and lip service. My mom taught me how to kiss
Starting point is 01:38:45 when I was younger. What did she tell you to do? She taught me how to tongue kiss when I was younger. Like, what's the instructions? There wasn't no instructions. She showed me with her mouth. She kissed you? It's my mother. Nah, I'm just asking. My parents kiss me, barely kiss me on the cheek.
Starting point is 01:39:02 Raj Kay, I couldn't like, she's the idiot. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I just stopped kissing myself in the mouth. She showed me her tongue kiss when I was younger. Remember, my mom was 17. She's a baby. Look at all the babies that's happened to me.
Starting point is 01:39:20 Look how they act with their babies. It's like they have a little sister or a little brother more than they have. Did you think Tommy was going to be the first? All right, pause it. All right, so what's the limits? Because, yeah, the only reason we're, like, slightly okay with this is obviously because it's a mom doing something to her son. Yeah. Right?
Starting point is 01:39:39 Like, you can't teach your daughter how to. If a girl was like, yeah, my dad taught me how to, you know. Yeah, say it. Say it. No, it's not make out. Yeah, say it. Say it. No, it's not make out. I wasn't going to say it. Give throat. If pops taught you how to give throat.
Starting point is 01:39:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Yeah, that'd be wrong. And you can't do that, but here's the fucked up thing. You want your kid to be prepared for life. Yeah, don't do that. No, no. Don't do that.
Starting point is 01:39:58 I do. You want your daughter to be bad at sucking dick, fam? I do, actually. Do you really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want your daughter to get cheated on and shit all the time? You're the only girl in Liverpool who can't suck dick, girl. I just don't, I'm not comfortable knowing that I've produced the queen of sucking dick.
Starting point is 01:40:15 Can I say one thing? You don't have to be the queen, but two, if she's bad, she has to suck dick longer for more cumulative hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, okay. And we don't say queen of sucking dick over here, bro. Come on. It's a prison. It's a prison. It's a prison. Put that royalty shit out, yeah. Right, okay. And we don't say queen of sucking dick over here, bro. Come on. It's a prison.
Starting point is 01:40:25 It's a prison. Cut that royalty shit out, bro. We fought a war. There's never been a female prison, though. That's a good point. Damn right. It's a fucking dick, yo.
Starting point is 01:40:36 What the fuck do you think? No, but for real, think about that. They gotta suck dick more if they suck dick bad. So you're actually helping your daughter suck dick less. I don't know whether that's... Your daughter's gonna suck dick, though know i don't know whether that's an exact science though how you know because right
Starting point is 01:40:49 here's my angle on it right okay if i'm getting my dick sucked and it's good yeah i start thinking about horrific shit to make it last longer listen if she's bad at sucking dick the guy's gonna want to get it over as quick as possible but it's not up to me it's not up to you i don't decide once they decide that's not true dead ass i swear to god up to you. I don't decide when to nut. They decide. That's not true. Dead ass. I swear to God in my life. So you can't just be like,
Starting point is 01:41:09 I'm done with this. I'm just going to let it out now. No. What? They got to squeeze it out. Matter of fact, if their hand is like putting pressure in the wrong direction,
Starting point is 01:41:16 like if they squeeze down, I'm not going to come. Wait, what? What? Because they're pushing to come back. I really believe that. Put the can.
Starting point is 01:41:24 Like toothpaste? If they go like this, I don't like it. That's psych's psychosomatic i think i don't think that's a real thing i am a little psychosomatic but if they twist like that then it comes out i get bricked up right now that was crazy just right now so yeah for real i've been going over this with my wife like this yeah we've been learning we've been learning it's with my wife. Like this? Using the cap? We've been learning. It's in a cake with a little bag. Exactly. We're going to be here for a while. It's all about the top.
Starting point is 01:41:50 The top. Yeah. Yeah. Just do this on the top of me. And then you're not. Yeah. It's like a kitty cat? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:57 Like it's a cat's nose. Okay. So you wouldn't tell your daughter that? You don't have to show her, but you wouldn't... Then she wouldn't even have to suck dick. That's just finger jobs. Yeah. Bop, bop, bop, bop. Mate, I mean, I'm not going to tell her,
Starting point is 01:42:12 look, this is how daddy acts. Don't say daddy. Don't say daddy. Don't say daddy. Daddy is crazy. Don't say father. Dudes like this. I should be like, listen, I've heard some guys like it this way.
Starting point is 01:42:23 You don't even need to put it in your mouth. Just do this. Just do that. Just spit on your finger and do this so you would help her suck dick i know it sounds crazy i'm just it sounds crazy but you don't want your daughter to have the best relationship it's not it's not about being the best okay the journey's the destination bro yeah it's about learning how to be the best yeah So it's about all the dick-sucking practice she gets. I'm just saying, you either teach her or some fucked-up dude
Starting point is 01:42:50 is going to teach her. I think if you taught her, you'd be the fucked-up dude. Now, that is a great point. If you teach her, maybe you're the fucked-up dude, but I wouldn't teach her in any kind of sexual way. Maybe I'd tell my wife to do it. Wife, get in there.
Starting point is 01:43:01 Wife, get in there. No, they just learn. Come on, now. You're not going to teach your son how to do things sexually? You're going to teach your son how to suck dick? Of course. You're telling me your dad taught you how to finger? No.
Starting point is 01:43:11 Exactly. I don't think my dad fingers my mom, though. My dad's 70 years old. They didn't do... His dad got the fucking... Yeah, my dad got a big dick, bro. He's not fingering for what? For what?
Starting point is 01:43:23 These are going to loosen you up? No way. I teach my daughter how to peg a dude. Yes. Okay. Yes. Teach the daughter. Would you teach your daughter how to peg?
Starting point is 01:43:33 If your daughter wanted to be trans. Fresh. Yeah, fresh. She wanted to be trans, but she needed someone to teach her how to fuck. Would you do it? What? Wouldn't I need to know how to do it in the first place? No,'t i need to know how to do it in the first place no you just need to know how to fuck she's putting on a dick yeah so that she can fuck
Starting point is 01:43:50 you you know how to have a dick i don't know what happened in your teenage years right to get us to this point that's not an answer no no no i'm not avoiding the answer it's just going to be slightly long-winded kind of like your daughter's dick sucks? Did you not learn how to do all this shit on your own? Yeah, I did. So you don't need to be the guy coming in going, by the way, you look great. Before you go out on a date tonight,
Starting point is 01:44:16 yeah, leave the doorbell. We'll get that in a minute. Here's what you need to do later. I care about women. Do you? And I want them to have the most satisfying sexual experience as possible. I think that's why dad's clean to go. Are you going to teach want them to have the most satisfying sexual experiences possible. I think that's why dad's clean to go.
Starting point is 01:44:27 Are you going to teach your son how to eat pussy? Say again? Are you going to teach your son how to eat pussy? My dad taught me how to eat pussy. He demonstrated your mom made you watch? Well, I just walked in. Just give him a yogurt and no spoon. We're like, yeah, remember that?
Starting point is 01:44:43 Do that again later. You should do it in subtle ways all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because y'all need to step your wallets up your wallets are trash okay and you know who's gonna help you do that extra they make the best wallet on the planet why is the best wall on the planet because it allows you to get the shit that you need okay you don't have one of these tiny little wallets you're busy trying to grab your amex out of it stuck in there's a long line at starbucks and you're holding everybody up you're a big pain in the ass never with extra you see that you see that you see that quick card access immediately
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Starting point is 01:45:59 wallets at ekster.com, that's E-K-S-T-E-R.r dot com all you gotta do is use the promo code flagrant at checkout and then you're gonna get 30 off your order you got this remember that's extra.com use the code flagrant to checkout you're gonna get 30 off 20 off for everybody flagrant gets 30 that's how we do it that's how we don't play around out here boy let's get back to the show i'm just saying there is a line where and it's obviously really tricky when it comes to sexual shit but i do understand a parent wanting their kid to be good at something and when when he brings up the thing about how she was a young mom like i think that kind of plays into it a little bit nothing no because that makes it seem like you can make out with your sister say what that makes it seem like you can make out with your sister there's not much
Starting point is 01:46:43 that's what he said it's like it's almost like a brother sister relationship that's why he's justifying it everyone's sister to you bro like you know what I mean but people
Starting point is 01:46:50 I think my mom told me she might have made out with one of her cousins or some shit that's Scotland I think back in the day that happened that's a step over
Starting point is 01:46:58 fucking a sheep it's like alright I didn't say she didn't do that okay wait what she pegged a sheep she pegged a sheep that's how you practice pegging a sheep pegged the shit. She pegged the shit. That's how you practice pegging.
Starting point is 01:47:09 See, in the UK, we put all that on Wales. So not Scotland. Scotland, we don't really fuck with Scotland. Scotland could beat the shit out of England whenever they want to. Whenever they decide they want. Don't forget it. Wait, what? Say that shit. With your chest.
Starting point is 01:47:20 Why don't you, you cucks? Because we're comfy, bro. Yeah, they're just comfortable with their man skirts on. They're just happy. That's what we do. Talk about the Indians. That's how confident they are in Scotland. The men wear skirts and they're like, say something.
Starting point is 01:47:34 Say something. Say something. I'll say something. What about the Indians in the UK? Yeah. We run shit, yeah? We run shit, bro. What's the national dish the UK? Yeah. What's the national dish? Fish and chips.
Starting point is 01:47:51 Fish and chips. It is curry, actually. See? It was actually quite funny a couple of years ago. There's a politician who's known for being quite sort of anti-immigration, anti-racist. And he had this big speech about, we want great British curries made in Great Britain. We want our curries back american tamales bro but we always get into little beefs though yeah yeah about our ancestry okay and i just want to know what the indians are like in the uk because we now we know the scots are the
Starting point is 01:48:20 shit nobody wants to fuck with them they're not there they don't let you in they let you stay where you are what you do you mean now? In your trans community. We're talking about the UK. Don't call my people trans. Don't you dare call my people trans. They're not trans. They're cross-dressers.
Starting point is 01:48:33 That's a dare. That's not bigger than me. You're cross-dressing community? Y'all are really trans. You have a whole sect of trans in India. We do. What are they called? I don't know. They have a whole, what are they called?
Starting point is 01:48:44 Genre? Class. Cast. Genre? They have a cast of trannies. You have a tranny what do they call it? Genre? Class. Cast. They have a cast of trannies. You have a tranny cast. This is a fact. No, it's not a cast. What is it?
Starting point is 01:48:50 They're just people who ask you for money and then you give it to them. And if you don't, it's a bad luck. All of you ask for money. All of you ask for money. You all need money. No, no. We negotiate to keep our money. We negotiate to keep our money.
Starting point is 01:49:00 We don't ask you for yours. You're saying only trannies begging in you. That's their trance. They'll ask you for your money. Wait, what? I don't know what for yours. You're saying only trannies beg in India. That's their trans. They'll ask you for your money. Wait, what? I don't know what the fuck is happening. Do they cut their cocks off or not? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:49:11 But they be looking like dudes and they're women. Whether or not they keep their cocks, I don't know. And if you don't give them money, it's bad luck. Bad luck. I know about this. I just said that. Say what? I just said that eight seconds ago.
Starting point is 01:49:22 See, there's women like this from Romanian descent in London. Oh, yeah, gypsies. Yeah, they just come up and they try and sell you a flower. Yeah. And if you get right in their eye line and don't buy it, you have a bad week. Really? You just fuck. Think bad things.
Starting point is 01:49:35 So you just buy. You have to not make eye contact. The second you make eye contact, you've got to buy the flower. And they have the sleepy kids, right? They drive their kids. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a European thing.
Starting point is 01:49:44 We don't really have them back here the the the thing with indians in the uk though is they they just get on with their own business they run their restaurants they run their shops and then you don't really see them but but the best thing you ever see but is when you're in scotland and you go to a curry house yeah an Indian guy comes over with the thickest Scottish accent you've ever... Who won? You never... Bitch.
Starting point is 01:50:09 Who won, bitch? Not bobbling your head or nothing. You're Scottish now. But you're still eating our food, ain't you? Fuck you, dude. Fuck you. Ain't there no fucking Chinese
Starting point is 01:50:19 or something we can eat, bro? Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese
Starting point is 01:50:22 Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese
Starting point is 01:50:22 Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese
Starting point is 01:50:23 Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Chinese Ain't there no fucking Scottish Ain't there no fucking Scottish
Starting point is 01:50:23 Ain't there no fucking Scottish Ain't there no fucking Scottish Ain't there no fucking Scottish Ain't there no fucking Scottish Ain't there no fucking Scottish Ain't there no fucking Scottish Ain't there no fucking Scottish Ain't there no fucking Scottish
Starting point is 01:50:24 Ain't there no fucking Scottish Ain't there no fucking Scottish we can eat, bro. What in your haggis? I haven't seen a Scottish restaurant ever in the world. No, no, it's facts. We got trash food. I'm not going to even argue with that. Urn brew is good. Oh, no, it's awful. You like that? That's got to be it, you think. It's the best hangover cure.
Starting point is 01:50:38 This is a beverage that's like orange. And Scottish people have it on cereal instead of milk. It's the only country in the world where Cocaca-cola is not the number one selling soft drink yeah i heard that because they like we want our yeah they don't like anything we're bragging about so baby we do our own thing what's the number one soft drink in uh in india probably coke or thumbs up thumbs up thumbs up yeah what's that it's their coke but they don't spell thumb with a b it's just t-h-u-m-s up it's like flat coke gotcha and then they got limco which is good it's like a longer what happened there is that's when a country got colonized
Starting point is 01:51:18 and they just wanted to hold on to one thing they're like we're not having the B. Yeah. Fuck y'all. Fuck y'all and your silent letters. We don't do that silent letters. We're going to spell thumb the way we want to spell thumb. Yo, here's a real question. Like, when you grow up learning about history in the UK, like, when we grow up learning about history in America, right? Like, they talk about all the great things that America did, and they kind of skirt over the fuck shit. Like, we talk about, like, slavery a little bit. It's not crazy long.
Starting point is 01:51:43 But, like, Vietnam, I don don't even think we don't even mention korea yeah like but you guys have this long history so how much are you like flexing like are you talking about the glory days when y'all used to run shit everywhere like no the the idea of empire has just never touched on basically the only thing i can remember from history is divorced beheaded died divorced beheaded survived and that's the six wives of Henry VIII. It was just like basically history class from like the age four to 16. It's just right. It's Henry VIII week again.
Starting point is 01:52:13 And we're going to talk about this guy. Do you talk about Revolutionary War? No. Don't even mention it. Wow. No. You talk about women dying? My introduction to the Revolutionary War was going to see Hamilton.
Starting point is 01:52:23 Really? Yeah. And how they played your king, that was foul. The one white guy is the bad guy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Fuck. Yeah, it was my introduction to it. And so you didn't even know what happened? No. I knew that at some point
Starting point is 01:52:36 we had a control over America and then eventually You never talk about the fall of the British Empire. The rise of the British Empire. No, it's just basically we had this fat king once and if he didn't like his wife he either killed her or she died mysteriously it's literally the only thing i remember so okay this is fascinating and then like so the identity isn't wrapped around running the whole
Starting point is 01:53:03 world because you're overran the whole world no so at all so what is the identity like what is um it's not it's not really we're the best country in the world yeah totally so here's something else to to think about like i'm from liverpool yeah and there's a huge disconnect between liverpool as a city yeah and england and the united kingdom as a state oh Oh, really? Liverpool's very, if Liverpool was given the option to vote for independence, they'd go.
Starting point is 01:53:29 Now, obviously, it would be a retarded thing to do because we're a tiny port city that we can't grow anything. Yeah. But the people in Liverpool
Starting point is 01:53:36 would be like, we don't really support the England football team. Then why did you guys love Margaret Thatcher so much? Oh, the younger. Oh, the hair tundra.
Starting point is 01:53:50 Oh, I would. So this is. Margaret Thatcher was the first female prime minister of Great Britain. And then she did not like y'all, man. What the fuck was that about? She did not like Liverpool or the North or anything. So basically the government before her,
Starting point is 01:54:04 like created was trying to move towards almost a socialist society of like the workers own things the workers are important and all that stuff and it didn't really work out
Starting point is 01:54:15 so she come in and she was like we're going to shut the mines we're going to do everything but like Liverpool in particular there's a long history of hatred towards that woman because
Starting point is 01:54:24 there's a huge football disaster in which a lot of people died the hills disaster fans were blamed for the disaster even though it's been proved that it was the police who caused it and margaret thatcher covered it up so that the police would never get in trouble like when margaret thatcher died like the news hit the headlines celebration we went out me my best mate my little brother my little brother had never been like to bars drinking before he's obviously drank in the house and stuff yeah he'd never been out and she died and i was like we're gonna go to town and i'll just take you to the bars i know i can get you in because i can talk to the dorm and he knows where we are and we went out and literally every
Starting point is 01:54:58 single bar we went into that night every two songs they'd stop the song and they'd shout maggie maggie maggie and the whole room would go dead dead dead like the hate is the shit man you love liverpool really yeah i love the accent and i love it for comedy like there's certain like a comedic uh i don't know there's certain like not even the accent but it's like the rhythm of how you guys speak cadence and stuff yeah it is perfect for comedy yeah it works glasgow is great for that as well yeah yeah like it's like every every sentence has got a full stop on it yeah yeah and that works great especially if you've got punchlines the accent over here is hilarious when like i don't think you will have ever experienced this because you're american so everywhere you go yeah people have heard in every film they've ever seen yeah there's
Starting point is 01:55:49 people who sound like you yeah so you can speak exactly how you speak here like my girlfriend sam who's in the next room she's been looking at me like what the fuck are you talking like that for when i'm talking for waiters and stuff because i'm trying to just soften even on stage at the cellar i'm like softening it yeah because no one's used to it i've had comics come up to me i've had three people ask me where i'm from like well more than that but like a couple of people one waitress was like you from liverpool i love liverpool right other people thought i was irish other people thought i was scottish yeah and one guy guessed syrian and who goes straight to syrian syrian he was trying to prove how open-minded he was and not assume some white shit. I think just I look I could look like someone who because I'm hairy and the
Starting point is 01:56:34 eyebrows I think I could look like someone mid list Middle Eastern who's maybe seriously ill. I'm gonna be honest. No. As a brown person, he says no. All right, Mark, what else we got? All right. You want to talk about Antonio Brown real quick? Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I think real quick.
Starting point is 01:56:54 I think it's just fascinating, man. Like I do think it's just so interesting, like how a country decides what you're going to learn and how that curates the identity. Right. And maybe you just never forget. I always wonder about this. Everybody talks about the transition. China is going to take over. China runs the world.
Starting point is 01:57:14 And it's like, in China, do they already run the world? And in America, have we just not taught ourselves that yet? Yeah. Are we the rapper that's the last one to know he fell off? Yeah. Like, are we going to be the last? Are we the rapper that's the last one to know he fell off? Yeah. The COVID thing has really bumped that up in my mind of how much, especially since I've been here, of how much the information you get given is so where you are.
Starting point is 01:57:37 So, like, everywhere in Manhattan is masks and vaccine mandates. Every bar you go into, could you put your mask on? Can I see your ID and your vaccine thing liverpool is quite a rebellious city anyway so we've from the start being like we'll sort of do whatever we want to do and yet if the police are over there we'll put the mask on like hi police officer now fuck you and take it back off yeah people walking around the streets of new york with masks on yeah it's insane like is insane to me that's never been a thing in the new york got soft dog we moved here for what to pay your taxes you will live here i'm the only one Bitch That's what I'm saying Son Come back I would love if we went down Beat y'all down once
Starting point is 01:58:25 Hey let's go back You know what I mean You just come back to daddy bro That's what happens Like an abused wife You want your little freedom Oh Texas We're our own country
Starting point is 01:58:34 Do it bitch I'm tired of Texas talking Oh we're our own country Do it You can't even keep Electric grid You need your electricity You need electricity from us
Starting point is 01:58:44 It's cold. Remember that? Oh, it's so cold my windows are frosted. Fix your shit. Ask Elon Musk. That's another daddy of foreign-ass daddies.
Starting point is 01:58:53 Who your daddy? Who your daddy? Bloomberg? Yeah, he is. That little... The juice. That electric grid never going down, right, Doug?
Starting point is 01:59:02 No, we got you. No, no, no no what were you just saying the mask thing oh yeah this is in the last you'll be in the last couple weeks with the omicron shit it started to turn up but like new york probably was over it i would say two weeks ago okay like and for a few months even before that yeah they always do the vaccine the cards but like on the streets you want to see people in mass and say if you go to florida that's liverpool yo son yeah florida is the craziest thing the other night was we were in, we've, like, me missus has booked a lot of this trip up.
Starting point is 01:59:29 She's been great. Yeah, yeah. We're essentially here for my birthday. I turn 30 tomorrow. Hey! Happy birthday. When this is out, you'll be 30 years old. Happy birthday.
Starting point is 01:59:38 She's booked all the stuff. And a lot of the places we've gone to have been, like, prohibition bars, like, speakeasies. Yeah. And being in a speakeasy which is supposed to be like when they're like could you put your mask on sort of ruining the theme you're trying to put on here like checking that i've got the cards again that's hilarious because all them speakeasies are really fake yeah it's like they're like playing
Starting point is 02:00:00 into it got real cool do you remember this maybe like five years ago like the idea of a speakeasy became like really cool but if you're doing business in new york city like you're paying with a card right yeah you can't pay with a credit card in a legal establishment yeah you know when was the last time you were at a legal poker ring poker ring and like you're just using your credit card to pay yeah it's on google maps exactly it is hours of operation but yeah you can get an uber to the door all right all right mark what was it what was the next one all right antonio brown is that the best way to quit a job of all time yeah yeah yeah can you do you know about antonio brown i know the the history of it i know he's just being released by the books. Yeah, but he quit to get released.
Starting point is 02:00:45 He quit to get released. He just walked off the field. He took his shirt off, his pants, everything, shirtless, ran off the field celebrating. And he said his coach was trying to make him play injured. So he was like, I can't play. I'm injured. And the coach said, you're off the team.
Starting point is 02:00:57 And he said, fuck it, I'm out. Yeah. And now it's getting interesting. Because he fucked his porn star, allegedly, the night before. And she's saying that he had covid and or they gave her covid and it's just a whole vaccine card already oh yeah yeah yeah he's a wild boy yeah just walking off the field is kind of interesting and he had like a million dollars in bonuses that he could have very easily gotten
Starting point is 02:01:19 so there's like a lot of things that are going on so he's left that money on the table yeah okay and everybody is kind of blaming like mental health like you hear this a lot of like oh he's got concussions blah blah blah even a girl like the yeah the the porn star was like yeah he was like mumbling he wasn't even coherent and it's just like like okay did you rape this fucking guy like what's going on yeah yeah so um i don't know it's just it's just so interesting everybody's going with this mental health thing like why all of a sudden we care so much about his mental health i think we've all been a little concerned for a while because it's just like yo this guy's gone like the remember when he called the cops in hollywood florida shouts that's where i used to live and he was
Starting point is 02:01:56 just like blaming this girl throwing her shit out whatever it was he was being violent dude apparently he had a shit he just mad people that were like he would have cooked for him as private chefs and never pay them and like try to intimidate them out of paying him it's like a lot of crazy stories around him yeah so i think we're just trying to find an explanation and he wasn't when he came to the league he was like a fifth sixth round pick he wasn't this guy and it seemed like he was really good and then all of a sudden since that hit at least that's what we're thinking it just felt like everything switched. Who was coaching him back then?
Starting point is 02:02:28 Mike Tomlin, who was revered by his players. Yeah. People love playing for Mike Tomlin. So maybe instead of mental health, we need to start giving Mike Tomlin some credit. He kept him in check? Yeah, like maybe he found a way to keep him in check. Well, he got to be a problem. So you think he was always this guy,
Starting point is 02:02:39 and that was the one coach who could be like, calm the fuck down? I don't know. I just don't buy this whole thing. Like, I got one concussion. Like, he was going over the middle. This is what they say in football. one coach who could be like it's like this i don't know i just don't buy this whole thing like i got one concussion like he was going over the middle this is what they say in football it's like there's a there's a a route that the wide receivers run where they have to cross the middle and then they're basically right in the way of a safety you can blindside clip them etc and he got ripped
Starting point is 02:02:58 by this guy who played for the bangers perfect yeah and he got a concussion and people are saying after that all these things going wrong and it like, these guys get so many concussions, dude. Where are the other guys that are doing this exact same thing? Yeah. Like, you hear about it after their career is over, you know, like, what's his face blowing his head off? Yeah. But I don't know. I don't buy that there's one hit that's just going to make him a rapper.
Starting point is 02:03:17 I need to hear his old interviews, because if you hear him talking on the podcast recently, he can barely put a sentence together. It's like, it seems like something's off up there so if this was always the case then listen to his old interviews and you'll be able to see the difference yeah and if that's the case then don't even let him play no i mean if he could still produce he could at the end of the day yeah these guys all they want to do is win they don't care who you are they don't care what you've done can you play football can you help us win come through and i wonder is it like that and with like soccer and shit with like it doesn't matter what the guy did well for like as long as they're good if they're good then all is forgiven because these football players are beating their wives and shit like running people over like so there's there's little bits of that and it's like the the lawyers these guys have and
Starting point is 02:04:04 they're not owned in the same way that the league is over here so that it's a lot more individual but like cristiano ronaldo yeah raped somebody allegedly like the there's transcripts of him going yeah she asked me to stop and i said no and i carried on and he paid her off but then she's come back and been like i don't feel like I got enough my life's been ruined this that and the other he's still playing football
Starting point is 02:04:28 for Man United and Man United fans when they signed him back in the summer were like oh God's come home this is we've got our guy back
Starting point is 02:04:35 like they don't and if you bring it up with them they're like yeah yeah yeah he's the leading scorer of all time really
Starting point is 02:04:41 like they know they've seen the same stuff I've seen and I'm a bitter Liverpool fan so like we hate them but would you allow him to be on your team really like they know they've seen the same stuff i've seen and i'm a bitter liverpool fan so yeah like we hate them but would you allow him to be on your team ronaldo yeah no just based on ability alone like at the minute he wouldn't get into liverpool's team but i know i'd be very uncomfortable with like he did it you know that for a fact based on his own words that i've seen yeah he did it and i like just like that i i you think
Starting point is 02:05:09 some section of fans is just happy he's not gay there's a woman great it's fine yeah it. It's, yeah. But if you can get them for the cheap, you really wouldn't have them on your team? Like if you get them real cheap. So it's hard for me to be morally superior on this because we used to have a player at Liverpool called Luis Suarez who went on to play for Barcelona.
Starting point is 02:05:38 And he got in trouble for racism. And including me at the time, everyone was like, was he really racist though what do you do so he was playing against manchester united and he had a real like tussle all game with patrice ever who was their left back at the time yeah and apparently he kept calling him negrito yeah now there's there's uh and that is there's another guy yeah this is this could be a cultural thing where's he from the culture yeah he's from uruguay so that yeah this is they would call a tan white dude yeah
Starting point is 02:06:14 that totally and like since then there's a manchester united player called cavani who congratulated a fellow player like happy birthday negrito and everyone's like but that's what suarez got in trouble for yeah yeah and that's why liverpool fans at the time were like it's a cultural thing that's what they call people over there but it then came out that he was pinching his skin and going negrito negrito during the game and there's no footage of that but that was the accusation but what is the pinching about that's weird you're you are a negrito oh like this is the color of your skin yeah ah yeah that's a little bit tricky there is a word that's like in spanish you can't say yeah it's basically the spanish version the n-word and i think one of those coaches said it
Starting point is 02:06:53 oh god it was like the french coach or something like that and then i think he got removed yeah never yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh i don't know but louis suarez was so good liverpool fans were just like just tune it out la la la la la la la la yeah yeah just ignore it let him
Starting point is 02:07:08 and Liverpool went really bad with it like they had like the whole team wearing like support Louis t-shirts on during the warm up because like the argument was
Starting point is 02:07:17 oh Louis wasn't doing anything wrong he was just you know using his cultural yeah background he was just arguing with the player he's doing whatever it takes to win but there's like black Liverpool players
Starting point is 02:07:26 wearing those t-shirts, like support Louis in the warmup. And they've since come out afterwards and said like, that made me really uncomfortable having to wear that. But I was sort of told to do it by the club. And then since then,
Starting point is 02:07:37 the club have written an apology to Patrice Everett and said, we handled that really badly. We should have never done that. And apologized to him personally. How do the fans feel about that? Liverpool fans at the time were sort of like oh he's he plays for us and you don't no one understands what was going on apart from him and patrice so we'll never know what get to the bottom of it and now everyone's a bit like yeah he left us a few years ago and
Starting point is 02:07:58 we probably should be honest now yeah yeah we can be honest like he doesn't play for us anymore so he's a racist piece of shit right yeah i don't know if it's that bad though i'll be honest because if you hoop like there and there's the white dude on the team like i got the white boy all right white boy let's see what you got white this yeah yeah i don't know if it's that bad but that's still said kind of endearing say what it's still like an endearing way when we're saying that yeah and in that guy searching and calling him yeah i guess if you're bad they're not gonna be racist if you're nice you'll be like ah white boy is nice no if you're bad we're still gonna be yes
Starting point is 02:08:33 we're buying pickup and we had to get it was like odd numbers we had to get like this goofy white kid on the team and then my homie after we beat the other team goes yes yes with the sorry kid
Starting point is 02:08:51 what else we got Mark before we really get into it do you want to say RIP Bob.P. Bob Saget real quick? Oh, yeah. R.I.P. Bob Saget, man. Did you ever have an interaction with him? I did not. Never once.
Starting point is 02:09:11 Never once. Never once. I literally feel like the only comedian right now. Nah, me neither. That motherfucker hated me. I'm going through Instagram today and I'm like, God damn, bro. Did this guy DM everybody, bro? Everybody but me had an interaction with Bob Saget?
Starting point is 02:09:25 Did you know Bob Saget? I got a message from him a couple of weeks ago. Fuck you. What was it saying? He just said, hi, love Liverpool, love the UK. Get out of here. Yeah, I'm lying. I was about to turn this goddamn podcast off
Starting point is 02:09:38 because I was shitting all over Bob Saget. That was the truth. Didn't it feel that way when y'all were scrolling? He's apparently, if you met him. Everybody had a picture with him? If you met him, he was the nicest dude. Nathan McIntosh said he opened for him
Starting point is 02:09:49 and Bob said thank you to him multiple times for opening for him. Wow. And then Nate asked him a piece of advice he didn't have an answer for him and then DM'd him later. Like, oh, hey, here.
Starting point is 02:09:56 Something like that. Like, went out of his way to be helpful. Yeah. If you met him, I heard he was the nicest guy, but I doubt he was reaching out to a ton of people
Starting point is 02:10:02 just off the strength. Yeah. He's a 65-year-old man. He ain't keeping up with us. Yeah. I mean, plugging in his AirPods and listening to Flaker 2.
Starting point is 02:10:12 Nah, Damien Lemon had a funny joke where he would say, shout out to Damien Lemon, but he was like, show me love like a dead rapper. Yeah. And this is that same type of love.
Starting point is 02:10:21 Yeah. It's a real shame that you get that love after you're dead because I'm sure he would love to feel how he impacted all these people's lives. Especially comics, man. Yeah. Like, there are comics distraught about this shit.
Starting point is 02:10:31 Yeah. I didn't realize how significant he was. Me neither. I didn't either, to be honest. But I think that does happen when someone dies who's done a lot. And has sort of maybe been forgotten by a lot of the mainstream and stuff like especially like in the past few years i think people remember how much they love someone when they're gone yeah of course i don't think all these comics last week were like do you know
Starting point is 02:10:56 my favorite comic is yeah it's bob's i don't think that was happening yeah but when someone goes people remember every every episode of every show he was in, every movie, everything he's done, every joke they loved of his is right back in their brain. Except Margaret Thatcher. That's the only person. Maggie, Maggie, Maggie! Dead, dead, dead! That's why I'm clipping that out.
Starting point is 02:11:21 That's why we need to fake your death. Yo. Yeah, it's the only way is that legal doesn't matter if it's legal dangerous though you know what if they don't catch you what if you do it and everyone's like who and then you've got to live in that world i'm scrolling facebook i don't see nobody change their fucking profile picture i'm like word that's gonna suck yeah no that's crazy fake your death for like a week
Starting point is 02:11:45 and before the week you're like really nice to everyone like dm a lot of people everyone's gonna post about you and then come back from that mark is trying to get a week off i like that i feel there's no facts man all right all right. All right. So Jared Fogle, famous Subway spokesperson. Y'all got Subway in Liverpool? I said in the train. No, it's called the Subway Show. The Sand Shop. They call it Metro Sandwich Shop. Okay.
Starting point is 02:12:13 Indians on them out there, too, as well. Oh, word? Oh, shit. Everywhere you go. Subway, the Subway Sandwich spokesperson, Jared Fogle, he's the guy who lost all the weight. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:12:22 You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesse in the Subway Sandwich. He fucked kids. He was convicted of having four child porn videos in his possession uh and also pleaded guilty to child pornography charge of paying for sex of an underage girl traveling from new york to indiana yeah had to pay 1.4 million he recently released a statement from jail in which he says i quote royally screwed up was i thought that was like a nod at like prince andrew i swear to god i thought that he was speaking in
Starting point is 02:12:46 coded language he was like yo if galane talks about me it's fucking on everybody like i'm shooting up the club 100 you think galane's top target was jared bro they got jared dog they got jared they had he how come he wasn't protected they got years ago because everybody got him that guy was sloppy he was sending the girls to his crib he wasn't protected? They got him years ago. Because everybody got him. That guy was sloppy. Yeah. He was sending the girls to his crib. He wasn't going to the island. I royally screwed up is so funny. Yeah. It was a mistake.
Starting point is 02:13:11 It's like, what are you talking about? I am royally screwed up, maybe. I think he's missing a key word. Yeah, yeah. He's acting like he's not flawed as a human being. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I royally screwed up is like you forgot your wife's birthday.
Starting point is 02:13:23 Yeah. You know what I mean? He didn't forget those girls' birthdays. I new meaning to the phrase eat fresh doesn't it like really fresh the craziest part from his letter is that he says i'm in the best shape i've ever been in in my life. He says, in prison, I run five to six miles a day. I've never felt so good physically or mentally. Wow.
Starting point is 02:13:55 Who's interviewing him? Who's asking how Jared is? He wrote a letter. To whom? I don't know. Glenn? I don't know. I think he's involved in that shit, low key. I'm being dead serious.
Starting point is 02:14:04 You think that's as low as they went low key. I'm being dead serious. You think that's as low as they went when they were inviting people into this black book? Can I be honest with you, bro? I don't think they got dirt on nobody. What? I think they got like some cornball scientists. I don't think they actually got like the big wigs. I think they're too slick. You really think Bill Clinton is going to go fuck 14-year-olds with like no security guards around or no?
Starting point is 02:14:23 Yes. He knows the game, fam. He's the president. He got head in the fucking Oval Office. That's his room. Son, he was sloppy. He hired her. That's sloppy.
Starting point is 02:14:30 And he got head. There's people. There's mad people in the house. He came on a dress and then just was like, hey, I'll see you later. Bro, the dude wouldn't even fuck. That's discipline. Think about that. You think he's going to make those mistakes?
Starting point is 02:14:40 He's just going to go to this island and not trust this person? That's presidential. Yeah. That's what you're talking about. I think you're vastly... Hey, I'm going to deprive myself. I'm just getting head. Yeah. this mistake is you can go to this island not trust this person that's presidential yes i think i think you're vastly i'm gonna deprive myself i'm just getting head yeah i'm just getting ahead i i think you don't think he wanted to finish i think he did say what he did no but you didn't think he wanted to actually fuck of course he's gonna want to fuck or he got them rape charges
Starting point is 02:15:01 he got that rape charge and he's like i don't want to get caught up with that shit again. Interesting. I didn't know about that. Okay. Anyway, what were you saying? I think you say he knows the game. I think when you get to that level, that becomes the game.
Starting point is 02:15:19 I've got, I do a bit at the minute about people always want what they can't have and that's why billionaires fuck kids. Right. Because they can have anything else. It's like the last thing. Yeah. Like they, everyone wants a vice.
Starting point is 02:15:31 Yeah. And nothing's a vice when you're a billionaire. Because you can drink as much as you want. You can solve it with whatever the best medical care in the world. Every woman will fuck you because if you pay them enough, anyone will do anything. Yeah. But it's still wrong to fuck kids. So that's why they do it.
Starting point is 02:15:44 Yeah. And I think that's what it is at that level. He's the president. have whatever he wants and it's like come in this room this is the naughty thing and i think and this is a bit tinfoil hat i suppose yeah i think epstein and gillane were they they were hired to get dirt on people i think it was yeah this guy's too powerful yeah get him to fuck this thing and yeah and take a picture of it and then we've got that forever. And he'll do whatever we need him to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're assuming that that's his job, 100%.
Starting point is 02:16:10 I think that if you're Bill Clinton or any of these other high profile either politicians or businessmen, you know the game. You know that there are people out here trying to get dirt on you because you, as a person in government, are like, yo, go get some dirt on that motherfucker. You ran a campaign where you're trying to get dirt on people you know the game better than anyone else yeah so i don't think you're getting caught up like oh this guy's so charismatic he's a he's a banker he'll oh i'll go to his island and there's kids there i'm not gonna think anything about it yeah but i know it's obvious what they're trying to do to you but i don't think it's on day
Starting point is 02:16:41 one that they send epstein in and go hi bill i'm i'm uh i'm jeff yeah do you want to come fuck some kids yeah i don't think it quite works like that i think they make them do it's incremental it's like i'll have this oh don't worry there's a bit of weed in it it's fine oh do you want some coke like no it's fine yeah it's just it's edging edging edging edging until and they've constantly got little tiny bits of dirt on you there yeah that he's like oh that wouldn't end my career that wouldn't end my career i could i could get away with saying i had a bit of weed yeah i could get away and it's just up and up and up and up until it's the big one and then they get you to do that yeah maybe i don't know i don't think they lead with the big thing did he did he
Starting point is 02:17:16 do it did he fuck the kids before or after he was president i don't allegedly yeah allegedly i mean i think his flight logs were when he was just the governor of Arkansas. Oh, really? So then there's no way. But that's how you get the power. How do you get the power? So you're assuming by fucking the kids, he ends up in the pocket of these people who want to control him. And those people who want to control him allow him to be president.
Starting point is 02:17:38 You can't get the power without being compromised. That's fair. You gotta be compromised first. So let's assume that that's the case. Sure. But if that's the case, he is in on the whole thing. Because this is someone who wants to be president of the United States of America. If you want to be president of the United States of America, that's not something you just fall into.
Starting point is 02:17:52 Your whole life is geared towards that moment. So you're not going to go fuck some kid for fun on an island when you're like, yo, I'm about to be president in a few years. Maybe you do that shit after you're president, but you're not going to throw it away for some fucking teen pussy. There's no way. Unless they said, yo, you got to do that shit after you're president but you're not gonna throw it away for some fucking teen pussy there's no way unless they said yo you gotta do this shit and if you do this we got your back and then now this is part of a way bigger thing yeah but i just don't i cannot believe that somebody that's so fucking disciplined and about that life and has literally curated their entire existence for one job and sees it is gonna throw it it away for a 15-year-old pussy. A power-obsessed person?
Starting point is 02:18:27 Someone that's obsessed with power and sex is the ultimate manifestation of power? Is it, though? I don't think so. A lot of people who got no power get pussy. Yeah, but getting someone to have sex with you is a display of power. But, I don't know.
Starting point is 02:18:41 If it is that one as well, where they're like, if you do this, we'll help you get to president. Imagine how Hillary feels when she sucked a 12 year old's dick for nothing so fucking true how you get dirt on hillary yeah i don't know where's that 12 year old now though yeah fucking jim jones was really part of jim jones mom about to run for mayor bro watch out watch the fuck out they got enough dirt on her to put her in office all right but yeah so jared we done with it yep so basically fresh
Starting point is 02:19:18 and fit guys it's a podcast called fresh and fit on the podcast they said that they're not into dating black women two black dudes i think one of the dudes said it right they both they both said it yeah so and basically let's start a lot of controversy like shade room posted it a bunch of other like specifically black instagram uh pages posted it yeah basically trying to like cancel them more or less now alex is a black man that doesn't date black women what is what is your opinion so as a black man that doesn't date black women, what is your opinion? So as a black and Spanish man who has dated black women in the past. That we just named.
Starting point is 02:19:50 What do you mean? I've been in a relationship. But yeah, I think that's super corny of them to do that. But at the same time, I can understand having a type. Ooh, go. So it's like if you have a type and it sucks that race is part of that type. Yeah. But it's like, hey, you like what you like but that's
Starting point is 02:20:06 different than what he what was said what was said was i don't date black women it wasn't i have a type well they have a not type no no they have uh they they started to say like you're allowed to have types and like they're having a conversation about like why are women allowed to have standards but they're not allowed to have standards and they said that they're not against it they just don't necessarily do it now i'm not trying to cap for them but like that's what it seemed like now what is interesting to me is what dictates your type you know i mean like there's a reason why indian people like indian food mexican is like mexican food right it's like it's what you grow up with what you know so what's happening to them yeah that they're not attracted to the people that
Starting point is 02:20:42 look like them is that some shit you're seeing on tv is that some shit that is existing like in your life you know is are there like parental figures that are saying that this isn't the ideal form of beauty something else is you ever see point to the media you could go media most people you ever see the black guys that fuck white girls but it's really black girls don't fuck them interesting i think there's some of that sometimes we just what is it we eat what we can hunt yeah yeah what patrice said yeah yeah yeah but what was his shit like he's the thing about how he knows how to hit on a black girl he doesn't know how to hit on a white girl he said right so he dates black girls because he knows and it's like it might be easier for them to date white girls yeah and that really might be what it is you want
Starting point is 02:21:24 to hear what they said specifically? Yeah, go, go play it. What about the black dating app called Black? It's funny. I never used that one, bro. But hey, man. I mean, hey, bro, if you want to date a bunch of Shaniquas, go for it, man. Laquisha.
Starting point is 02:21:36 Yeah. Like me and Fresh aren't really down with the brown like that. We ain't Knight Riders. Nah, bro. I'm good. I'm good. You know, sometimes if they're, you know, red bone, but like in general, me and Fresh don't dabble in the dark, if you what i'm saying yep uh okay so last one guys uh
Starting point is 02:21:50 that stinks to me yeah that's corny i've tried a lot and being told to fuck off a lot because they're they're projecting the image of alphas aren't they i've seen a few of their clips they're like we're the alpha guys i'm in charge i do this yeah and if anyone's ever taken that away from you you would shun that because it would fracture your whole ego and identity i don't like fucking black women what the ones who don't want to fuck you anyway you know irrelevant i didn't want to all these ones who are willing to listen to me. You know what? That's a really interesting point. You're going to gravitate to the people that make you feel how you want to feel about yourself.
Starting point is 02:22:29 Or that confirm what you already do feel about yourself. And a white girl ain't going to look at you and be like, you ain't shit. A black woman, like. Yeah, they don't know the difference between a corny black guy and an actual alpha black dude. It's all cool with them. I thought it was corny to say it publicly.
Starting point is 02:22:46 Just do it privately like Alex. You know what know i mean just privately don't do it but also it seems it seems like a cloud chase like they're good at generating headlines yeah and to a degree we're giving them more but it's just it was just corny to me yeah like you also will bring every black girl on your podcast and then use headlines for the exact girls are saying you won't fuck. Right. Like you'll use them to get you headlines and views and clicks. Right. Then when it comes to actually dating them, you won't do it.
Starting point is 02:23:10 It just, it just felt whack on every level. Yeah. I've never had a standard like that. That's weird though. I've never had like a racial standard per se. I have. I do. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:23:21 Yeah. I don't know. You just wouldn't date white women. No, I wouldn't date white women now wouldn't date white women i wanted very much to marry an indian woman yeah for my own like to pass on my own culture my own traditions all that and i also thought it was kind of whack and i used to be like i grew up all around white girls in high school right that was the only hot girls i saw so i was into that and then when i went to college and met more indian girls i was like okay they're beautiful
Starting point is 02:23:41 i can do this but it also just like you can do this. But it also just like, yeah, I can do this. I didn't know it was a possibility. Because all you ever saw growing up was Indians. You celebrated if you dated a white girl. Like I've had Indian guys tell me I would pass on a beautiful white girl for an Indian girl for an average white girl. And that shit blew my mind. And I was like, that's got to come from somewhere. And that's got to stop, right?
Starting point is 02:24:01 Like, we can't keep doing that. Yeah, where does that come from? I think he just wanted someone who spells thumb the same way as him yo that that's interesting where is that where does that come from like sometimes you see people dating you see non-white people dating much uglier white girls than you believe that they could get within their own race oh i think if i was white i would always date interracially because you always go up you always date if i'm white there's no way i'm dating i'm dating up interesting great looking black dudes white girls you're just like really and what do you think that is i see white girls
Starting point is 02:24:42 are indian dudes that are you know definitely rich yeah but is that just some like internalized racism it's i think we put them on a pedestal and that's part of also me joking around saying white women are you know ugly whatever they're i'm less attracted to them generally but also it's like it's so fucking all you hear about is this white girl so hot in this like they're lot. So I'm just kind of contrarian with that. Do you feel that as a white guy? What? That white women's beauty is celebrated a lot? No, but I'm white living in America.
Starting point is 02:25:12 Exactly. I actually probably notice non-white women's beauty being celebrated far more. That's because of the world you live in, though. You're in the entertainment industry. Like to a lay person. No, every model on the every cover of everything up until very recently is a white woman. Yeah, it's like, I was talking about this, like, I think it was Rock was saying something like that about, like, he doesn't want black superiority to be celebrated.
Starting point is 02:25:38 He just wants black normalcy to be celebrated. Like, that's when the racism is gone, when you could just be, like, the black doctor not the best ever yeah doctor that happens to be black but yeah maybe that's it i'm just not noticing like all these mannequins whatever not even made so i'm not listening like all these like random models that aren't even the top model yeah right i'm just every single other model is just some white girl i'm noticing the most famous beautiful minority chick yeah interesting yeah yeah and brands will point to that as like yo this is our person this is our the one that broke through and as a way to like diffuse the other issues within it interesting yeah so that's how you see it now yeah it just looks like there's
Starting point is 02:26:17 a bunch of models and they're all white yeah and then the exceptions to the rule exactly and i'm just picking up on the exceptions know the exceptions like we know like the winnie harlows and the ones that like she's both tyra banks and shit yeah yeah there's uh yeah okay okay okay okay there's like a status thing i think so can you have a type yeah but i think i think a big part of what you like is what you grew up around yeah so it's like having a type is one thing saying i don't have a type and they're like this and it's based on the color of their skin that's yeah actually racist yeah and it's sad when somebody's racist toward their own that's the
Starting point is 02:26:54 saddest most broken shit i think adam might be on it bro yeah i think you might be on it do you have a type adam uh yeah about five foot seven you hear me adam's girl's outside no not really really i i've only ever been with white girls but i i think that's probably more you're like the fresh and fit of this yeah Yeah. I don't, I don't, I feel like I'm so white. Like I'm short, fat and white.
Starting point is 02:27:30 Yeah. And I feel like approaching the, the black girls that would be attracted to, which would be really attractive black girls. I think they'd look at me like, the fuck is wrong with you? Who put you up to this? Gotcha.
Starting point is 02:27:44 If you're doing a freak show or something, what's happening? they'd be like come on what TV show am I on you can't possibly think this conversation was going to go well okay let's wrap this up boys listen Adam thank you so much for being here thanks for having me uh you're the fucking man uh tell them where they can find you tell them what's going on in your life tell them about have a word pod you know absolutely uh twitter's adam rowe comedy instagram's
Starting point is 02:28:15 adam rowe comedian the podcast is called have a word that's on every podcast platform and on youtube.com slash have a word pod and i put a special out last year called adam rowe club comic which if you just search that on youtube that'll come up yeah yeah it was good shit man now who do we got to look out for out there in uh in the uk besides you give me a couple uh couple guys that i should check out so dan my co-host is one of the it's great to be podcasting with him because he's been doing comedy about 10 years long and i mean just never been given a break right but he's that guy who every comic yeah is like them why aren't they big yeah yeah and when he felt he's about to film his he's about to do his first tour on the back of have a word yeah and he's going to film a special and put it out
Starting point is 02:28:57 so that'll be in about maybe nine months something like that dan say his last name people know dan is dan has a podcast um he's amazing um it's a guy called mark nelson from scotland okay so he's based in glasgow and he's just i support my scottish peeps bro he's so you know you're talking about the accent and the punch lines yeah just when he drops punch lines like i don't want to be doing his bits but like the he was like he had to homeschool his kids and like people like you're gonna send them back even though there's still covered yeah and he's like even if their teacher is the monkey from outbreak like he's just it like that is right he's so funny yeah um and he deserves to be so much bigger than he is and he's about to drop a special
Starting point is 02:29:43 as well oh good uh i work with him recently yeah and to be so much bigger than he is. And he's about to drop a special as well. Oh, good. I worked with him recently. Yeah. And to be honest with you, we have a guest on every episode of Have a Word. So the first hour is just me and Dan. We break it up, bring the guest in. Everyone we've had on, if you go through that list,
Starting point is 02:29:58 there's someone we respect. We don't bring people on for the sake of it. Okay. It's just, it's someone we're like, we want to get them on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you want an episode to start with, there's an episode with a guy called Jamie Hutchinson. And he's like,
Starting point is 02:30:11 he won't even hate me. He's a nobody. Like he's quite new in comedy. He's a few years in, but he did a guest on another podcast and the guys who run it are mates of mine. He was like, you just need to get him on.
Starting point is 02:30:21 Just trust me. Just get him on. And we're like, okay, great. We know him. He's a sound lad. Yeah. And he come on. His life is so on. And we're like, okay, great. We know him. He's a sound lad. Yeah. And he'd come on.
Starting point is 02:30:27 His life is so tragic. Yeah. And when you're, me and Dan, it's very rare me and Dan sit back and just let the guests talk. Yeah, yeah. And we're just engrossed by it. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:30:35 His life is pathetic. Wow, wow. And it's so funny. Why is it pathetic? He's just, he grew up in this family where like, he lives in his nan's box room, even though his parents are still alive.
Starting point is 02:30:47 Like he was taken to gambling shops when he was like seven and taught how to pick the right horses by his dad. He's got an autistic younger brother who every night beats him up, but as a character called Dr. Catford. So he'll be, I saw this clip too. called dr catford so he'll be oh yeah i saw this clip yeah yeah yeah so he'll get a text you on the day like your appointment's at nine and he has to go home he is he puts like his mom's dressing gown on and he pretends to be a doctor he's like we're losing him and he'll jump and beat the shit out of it the whole episode is ridiculous and it's all stuff like that that's the one clip that we put out that went mad yeah probably the most views we ever had on a clip from the show yeah but everything he spoke about
Starting point is 02:31:29 in the episode yeah oh he he's actually right this second so occasionally on have a word on our patreon page we do uh we call it the lockdown locking yeah when we were in lockdowns yeah and we just we just get drunk in the studio and put an extra episode out. And because I'm away, they're doing a drunk episode with Dan, Jamie, and another guy called Eshan, who's one of our regular guests who our listeners love. They're doing it right this second. Like as we're recording here,
Starting point is 02:31:55 they're in the studio back in Liverpool. They're doing that. And Jamie getting drunk and the stories that will come out out of that. This is a story. We did a live show in Liverpoolpool at christmas in front of like an audience and uh he uh he told the story where he's like i was playing do you ever play like management games like for american football yeah so he was playing championship manager which is like the the soccer where you're the manager
Starting point is 02:32:20 and he was like uh my mom was having sex in the next room. She was getting fucked in the next room and playing the game. He's like, and it was the FA Cup final. I'm in the FA Cup final and we went one nil down and me and my mum
Starting point is 02:32:32 moaned at the same time. Oh, fuck. Oh, boy. Oh, that's great. What's the kid's name? Jamie Hutchinson. That's great. What's this kid's name? Jamie Hutchinson. Jamie Hutchinson. He's such good value. Check him out.
Starting point is 02:32:51 And it's a great episode to start with if you're going to check it out. Well, brother, thank you so much for coming on, man. Thank you, man. We're definitely going to check out Have A Word. And I'm glad you're in town, bro. This is good shit. This is good shit.
Starting point is 02:33:01 All right, guys. This has been Flavor 2. Peace. shit this is good shit all right guys this has been flagrant 2 peace

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