Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Chris Hansen Exposes Billionaire Pedo Worse Than Epstein
Episode Date: March 16, 2021Chris Hansen Exposes Billionaire Pedo Worse Than Epstein by ...
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He was the guy who walked in naked into Fort Myers.
The speed limit is reduced in school zones.
Should pedophiles be forced to drive faster?
Stem cell research as an effort to find the fountain of youth.
You have eight Emmys, but Emmy is a young girl's name.
Do you feel conflicted?
When are you going to investigate the judges on Tollers and TR?
By pepperoni pizza.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant 2.
That's your boy, Sholty.
I got Akash Singh in the building,
Alex Media, Mark Gagnon.
Hello.
The Truffle, and a very special guest.
Okay, I need to give you all the credit
that you deserve here.
Very, very special guest.
Eight-time Emmy Award winner.
Woo!
Thank you, thank you.
Clap that up.
The preeminent pedophile hunter
of the world, I would say.
Yeah.
Host of one of the most iconic shows
in history, To Catch a Predator.
Mm-hmm.
TikTok's worst nightmare.
Wow.
Taking him down.
We have Chris Hansen. Hey. a question for you we have to start
off with this are you alive I am alive I heard Alex Jones but I'm here to tell
you I am we had another credible journalist here last week Alex Jones and
he said that you were dead, that you got
blown up in a car crash or something like that. I've come close a few times getting blown up.
Really? What happened?
Not seriously. Well, just, you know, a couple of close calls here and there flying or being
overseas or doing different stories. I want to know about this. I thought we were going to talk
about kid diddling, but this is really interesting.
I mean, wait, you almost got blown up overseas?
No, it's, I guess, more in the bigger picture of things.
You know, I always worry about, you know, some of the assignments we've had in India or China or West Africa.
I'm scared of going to India.
It's a lovely place, but you never know.
And what worries me most, quite honestly,
when you're over there,
it's getting into an auto accident.
We literally were in India doing a story
on human drug trials.
And we took the recipe for a banned drug
in the United States linked to heart attacks and strokes.
And we got a company to make it in India,
showing a gap in the safety net for pharmaceuticals in the United States.
So we're coming back from this very intense day
where we were undercover at a pharmaceutical testing company.
I exposed the fact that we weren't really businessmen,
that we were journalists.
I was Chris Hansen.
And they detained us for six hours. And
it all rolled into the local police station. We finally got it all done. It was very tense. And
all we wanted to do is get back to the hotel. And on the way back, the driver wasn't paying
attention and drove the SUV up onto a median, like one of those skinny medians. We're near Ahmedabad in the state of Gujarat. And so it was teetering like this.
Can't trust no Gujaratis.
Yeah, I should.
Birthplace of Gandhi.
Is that right?
So the car is teetering like this.
He can't get it off.
Now the other truck has gone ahead of us.
So now we're there in a small village.
How many people were riding on top of the car?
Nobody was on top of the car.
It was just us.
But the entire community came out to try to get the SUV off of the median.
And then the police officer came out with a stick and was beating the people trying to help us.
Yeah, that stick.
And so finally we tried to get the lead car and they came back and got us.
And we were never so happy to get a cold beer.
Now, you got arrested in India, though, right?
cold beer when we got there.
Now,
you got arrested
in India though,
right?
We were detained
by security
at this company
and we talked our way
into resolving it
at the police station.
Okay.
Did you have to
cough up a little bread?
We did not.
It would be way quicker
if you did.
Yeah,
probably so.
Anyway,
we,
you know,
that $12 you ever spent.
To his credit,
the inspector
of the local police
precinct said, why are you here?
Yeah.
There's no law against these guys using hidden cameras.
And everybody kind of shrugged their heads.
And they didn't know that we had all the hidden cameras.
They just knew that we had taken cameras out.
Right.
Videotaped the confrontation.
So we said, we'll share.
We'll give you copies.
So you know that we do the proper honest thing with it.
And we couldn't get out of the
country fast enough so we were we were gone after that when you watch like prank shows
is that just not exciting like are the stakes too low like like oh his girlfriend was watching
i did a funny a funny prank show with david spade once okay on his uh his little comedy show. And it was a double... His little comedy show?
No, no, no.
I knew you had no respect for these guys. No, no, no.
I have huge respect.
Where the kids at?
That's what you're thinking.
I have huge respect for David Spade
and all the shows.
And enjoy doing them
because most of the stuff I do
is quite dark and serious.
So when I can have a little fun
and show a sense of humor,
I can.
So it was a double reverse.
So they had...
The ruse was... A double reverse ruse was this poor guy was told that he was going to out this girl who was catfishing online.
So they send him in with a backpack, and he's supposed to confront this young woman who's scamming all these guys.
So he comes in to do that.
She says, I'll be right back, a la To Catch a Predator.
And I walk out, and I said said i have a seat right over there what
are you doing here he said well no they the producer sent me in here he just walked out of
that show into my show and this guy is just he doesn't know what to do that's great he's coming
after me because he thinks he's trapped now and i almost get in a fist fight but it was
and finally i said look you know this is i got a great prank for you You just gotta be the host at a restaurant Have a seat
Chuck E. Cheese
Have a seat
Let me talk with you for a second
Pepperoni pizza
Yo if he was the host at Comet Pizza
World would implode
Everybody would love it
It'd be 100% true you heard about all these
rumors like pedophilia really took off once you you were the guy well i think in terms of like
mainstream like we were all watching it we were watching you but then the internet took hold of
becoming you know chris hansen right they all want pedophilia what the Winklevoss twins were to be. Yeah.
I wish I had gotten into that bit more.
Fun please, one of the kids.
Yeah, I think
look, we got into something
that we knew was an issue.
We'd heard the anecdotal stories
that were very disturbing, kids getting hurt.
Yeah. But until we actually
infiltrated it in
the way that we did using enterprising techniques,
people didn't really get it. And we, you know, my mantra has always been in whatever story that I'm
doing, whatever show is to take people on a journey of discovery, see things they wouldn't
normally see and hear things they wouldn't normally hear. And that's what we did. And believe it or not,
it was 17 years ago last month
that we did the first predator investigation.
Mind-boggling.
Were you shitting your pants?
Absolutely.
My heart was in my throat.
Every time I'd watch, right?
Because I went back to YouTube
and I watched a bunch
because I knew you were coming on today.
And I was like,
I just got to understand what this show was.
And the shows would be like an hour long, right?
Yeah.
Typically, it started as a segment on Dateline then it grew into its own thing right so I watched
an hour of it the segments are like seven minutes right I mean you must have caught like
10,000 pedophiles or something like that I was baffled how many pedophiles there were
were you worried you're gonna run out 400 no here's the thing so I don't think so imagine
this there's a lot of pedophiles
i know i thought about that i was like yo it's job security yeah yeah when you think about job
security it's like pokemon he's got to catch them all he is they were pokemon in the beginning
we merely had decoys posing as children yeah in chat rooms on aol and yang who casted those were
you a little suspicious that's a question i had, can I have a seat with you, maybe?
Like, why do you know what 15-year-old hotties look like?
Well, we worked with an online watchdog group called Perverted Justice.
Yeah, I saw that.
And before we got involved, that group would merely go online,
and when they had somebody set up a date for sex with a child,
they would post their picture and their identity on their website.
And I found out about it, and I said, well, wouldn't it be interesting if we could use our ability to
wire a house with hidden cameras and microphones and combine that with perverted justice's ability
to go online posing as children? And I'm driving out to the first location in 2004 in Bethpage,
Long Island. I'm thinking'm thinking geez what if nobody
shows up what if I've just wasted tens of thousands of dollars of the network's
money and with that the producer calls said where the hell are you two guys are
getting ready to show up in 45 minutes so we get there and it was you know
that's what you were worried about that they wouldn't show up yes they're gonna
stab you or something like that like that came later yeah
once they did show up then you you shift your focus to you know the next most important you
know thing but but i you know i mean was i really worried i wasn't gonna get fired or anything but
it you know that was all built on the premise of yeah people were going to show up and you
have something to to show to expose, to use
as an example to teach people about the dangers online.
And in two and a half days in that first investigation, 17 guys showed up.
Oh, yeah.
It was like a Jordan drop.
But it's interesting.
The 12s!
Yeah.
You know, we do this podcast, Predators I've Caught, so I go back and look at the previous
cases and to relive them. Unbelievable. And to watch these things and go back and look at the previous cases and to relive them
unbelievable to watch these things and go back and figure out where these guys are and what's
happened to them since then is it's it it just takes me right back to that so what was interesting
about the first couple episodes i was uh listening to another podcast or something you said you
didn't arrest no cops yeah what an unsatisfying ending that well that's why that's why we changed
up so in the first two investigations we just went out and did it.
And now the law enforcement in those communities did make some prosecutions after the fact.
But it was after that second investigation outside of Washington, D.C. and Herndon, Virginia, that we were contacted by the Riverside County Sheriff's department. Yeah. They said, well, we'd like to partner in parallel with you. And I took some heat for that from the traditional, you know, journalism community for working
too closely with police.
But I was willing to take that heat because I thought it was the only socially responsible.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who are these fucking journalists that have their rules?
Kid fucking rules are out the window.
I don't know.
Maybe.
And trap them.
I like that.
I get where they were coming from.
But I did take some heat for it and also from just a pure television production standpoint
it was very unsatisfying as you just said yeah to watch these guys come in me you know knock
them around and interrogate them and then just have them walk down the street twirling an umbrella
i mean what's up with that now there's a couple episodes that I was watching.
One is, it's dark.
I mean, I'm pretty dark in terms of my sense of humor,
so it made me laugh.
I'm right there with you.
Okay, good.
Please tell me it's the same one.
This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen happen on TV,
is when the guy started eating a pizza.
Oh, my God.
Unbelievable.
I don't know how you didn't laugh.
When the guy goes, do you want a slice? No. I'm good. I'm good. Thank you. I'm unbelievable. I don't know how you didn't laugh when the guy goes, do you want a slice?
No.
I'm good.
I'm good.
Thank you.
I'm good.
So,
yeah,
you kept a straight face.
I would have,
first of all,
number one,
I would have absolutely taken a slice
because that pizza had to be so fucking good
that that guy knew his life was over
and he still took a bite of that pizza.
I bet I know where that pizza was from.
Where is it?
I made pizza.
Imagine.
No,
it's Connecticut.
It was Planet Pizza.
Wow.
Did you go back?
Were you like,
I got to see what this is like?
No, he's on keto.
He looks great.
It's a chain.
In fact, my oldest son
was working on that
as one of the camera operators
and he works in the business
and he wanted to stop
and get some pizza.
The Predator did.
Jeff Sokol.
Yeah, Sokol.
On his way from Boston to meet his 13-year-old girl,
soon-to-be wife.
He had a marriage contract.
Yeah, yeah.
So I yell over to my son Chase.
He said, what's the best pizza place?
He said, well, send them to Planet.
It's great.
So we sent them.
And so the Fairfield police were right there
watching him go in, get the pizza, come out.
So we knew, okay, he's eight minutes away.
And here comes Jeff Sokol with the pizza.
And he was among the creepier.
Wow.
Yeah, just so like unfazed by all of it.
Yeah.
And I'm sure some of it was nerves that got caught.
But I mean, still the balls of this guy.
To not know who you are as a pedophile is disrespectful like how
fucking arrogant are you that you're out here trying to fuck kids and don't even think about
this guy yeah but didn't he have you a little convinced that like he might be able to get off
no not when he took the bite of the pizza and the cheese was all fallen but he made sure to scoop up
the cheese for the bite he was just buying time you think that's what it was he had me convinced
almost like if i was in your position i'd be like maybe we got the wrong guy i mean this guy's
eating i can't even eat before i do stand-up this guy's going to prison for 20 years
he uh he was a piece of work you know and then in his car they found the marriage contract
and a viagra that you described quite funny yeah yeah you didn't say
viagra like there's a there's a pill in the car that you might have to go to the doctor if you
were wrecked more than four hours are you on are you on any of the performance enhancing
not at the moment not at the moment thank coffee. Yeah, yeah. We're big supporters of the PEDs.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Big, big, big time on this show.
That's a good sponsor to have.
It is one of the sponsors.
Not during this episode.
We're going to take a break for a second.
Yeah, this is an odd episode to have.
But you know what doesn't take a break?
Blue chill.
Okay.
Okay.
So you have all these moments with these people.
What I was shocked about when I went back to watch is,
one, how obedient they are when they see you.
And I'm curious, they meaning the like a pedophiles, right?
So it's like, or the predators, right?
So when they first see you,
there's a couple of things
that look to be going through their mind.
One is, oh, is this a gang bang or something like that?
Like they don't immediately go, are you the dad?
They're like, who are you?
But they're not terrified and run out.
They're kind of calm.
Well, they're stunned.
Some freak out.
Some, obviously, especially in the beginning, thought I was either a cop or the mad father.
And then as we moved into the second, third, fourth investigation, it became clear that they knew who I was right from the get-go.
Immediately.
And we had a guy, for instance, in New Jersey,
on the shore in Manilokan, who said,
oh, you're Chris Hansen.
And I said, how did you know that?
He goes, oh, I watch the shows all the time.
When I miss him, I watch him on the internet.
Oh, gosh.
I said, do you even understand the trouble
that you just walked into?
Yeah.
And he was happy to be on the show.
What the fuck?
Do you think some of them want to get caught
and that's why they're there?
I think some are relieved.
You know, we revisited a case from Ohio,
a fellow who's a teacher in his mid-20s
who came in and, you know,
it took a while to get him to fess up.
And I think he knew who I was right from the get-go.
He had seen some of the shows.
And obviously, teachers talk about this show in school.
And he finally breaks.
And you can see this moment where he caves.
And he said, you know, I kept online doing these chats.
And I knew they were racy.
I knew they were sometimes inappropriate.
And I got older, and the people with whom I was chatting
stayed the same or got younger.
I just didn't get out what I should have gotten out.
And I think people always say,
what do these guys have in common?
And the answer is they don't stand out.
Well, there's that.
That's true.
They don't stand out of a crowd.
It could be the guy standing next to you in the dry cleaning line on a Saturday morning.
Yeah.
From all walks of life.
Quick funny anecdote.
You know, you said they're all white.
There was an Indian guy on there once.
And my mom called me and she was like, there was an Indian on a Catch a Predator.
You need to be careful online.
And I was like, what are you doing online?
What the fuck?
He was from Trinidad, actually.
Oh, that makes sense.
Crazy Trini 85.
He was the guy who walked in naked into Fort Myers.
He walked in naked?
Walked in naked.
Wait, to your?
Into the Stinghouse.
So you saw him?
Oh, yeah.
It's hard to miss.
I mean, this guy comes in.
So we're in the back room.
We're in this huge, big Ford.
You're thinking you're going to surprise him, and then you walk out like, what the fuck?
I need to take a seat.
The different decoys play different sorts of roles.
Some are very conservative and shy.
Some are a little bit racy, but not, you know, they always follow the protocol.
Just to clarify, the decoy, you want to explain to the people?
The decoy is actually an adult.
They hire an adult that looks like a young girl.
Who is online posing as a child.
Like a local actor usually.
Sometimes.
Well, there's two sets of decoys.
So they're the ones who are online doing the work.
Right.
And then they're the ones who are on site.
Yeah.
So typically the ones on site are, as you say, kids who are 19, 20, 21 years old who look younger, who are
police cadets or
college students in
theater. Can we just say one thing? Sure.
If you pull
into a house to meet a girl and
she's just doing laundry,
it's over. That's before
you. If there's tea on the
counter and there's laundry,
you just gotta turn around. I mean, you just got to turn around.
I mean, you got to go to jail, obviously, to be a serial pedophile.
I don't know why I'm teaching them how to get away with it.
The cops are waiting for them outside.
Yeah, there's no way out.
You know what's kind of sad is if you're one of those local theater kids and that's the best role you've ever had.
That's your biggest role to date.
You made it.
On your resume.
Predator caught.
on your resume predator caught but you know what what stuns me is you know 17 years into it you know we're back out there doing them again and we're talking we have them on the youtube
channel have a seat with chris hansen and then we we're talking a couple different networks now and
and putting another show together but there we are in mich, Genesee County, Michigan. And after all this, all the
publicity, all the shows that have knocked it off, all the amateurs out there trying to do it.
Again, we have a Michigan State prison guard shows up. We have a guy who was a cop in Lebanon.
We have an auto engineer and a guy who did contracting work in the governor's mansion.
All surface in the most recent investigation just a month and a half ago.
You graduated from Michigan State, right?
I sure did, yeah.
That's got to be uncomfortable.
I was in Magic Johnson's class, actually.
Really?
He got to leave after sophomore year and make a million dollars a year at the Lakers.
I stayed for $4.75 an hour in radio.
It all worked out.
He's a lovely guy.
Actually, I see him occasionally at Michigan State.
I've heard he's the best, yeah.
He's a wonderful guy.
Wonderful guy.
So wait, you got your start in radio?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, 1981, right?
Michigan State Radio Network.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was lucky.
In those days, if you're too stupid to realize there was anything you couldn't do, you know, nobody was there to stop you.
Yeah.
So it was like, you know, I grew up a mile and a half from where Hoffa was last seen and presumably kidnapped.
Yeah.
So I became fascinated with that story.
So I used to ride my bike up there and check it out.
For anybody listening, Jimmy Hoffa is the subject of the movie The Irishman.
Exactly.
And this is a legendary.
Union Teamsters leader who disappeared. listening jimmy hoffa is the subject of the movie the irishman exactly and this is a union
teamsters leader who disappeared um to this day no one has a real idea of who killed him right
yeah well it was mob related yeah we know i didn't want him back into it but there are a number of
stories including the scenario that's put out there in the irishman so anyway when i went off
to college i just volunteered at the radio station and one thing led to another and got a job in television my senior year for $4.99 an hour.
How old are you?
Do you mind me asking?
I'm 61.
61.
OK.
You look phenomenal, by the way.
Thank you.
Great, great for a white 61.
But my father, it's just so funny the way you say that.
Like, you just got a job on television.
My father.
That's basically how it worked.
I was living in a fraternity house.
Yeah.
And I got back from the mud football game and there was a note.
We didn't have, you know.
Yeah.
Anything but pink message pads at the fraternity house.
And it says Howard Lancor called and said, you have to be there at Monday at 9 a.m.
Okay, great.
And found a sport coat and a tie and off I went.
My pops was in the army.
So he was down in Baltimore.
Right. pops was in the uh the army so he was down in baltimore right and uh he just went i guess to
the local baltimore news station was like hey are you guys like hiring they're like yeah and then he
was just an on-air reporter yeah it's just an absurd thing something i don't say often yeah
it really was great to be a white dude back then yeah that's a very good
it must be nice for alex to be on the news do you know what he would have to do something illegal
so but and then he went up to um after that he went up to uh new york and he was producing the
news for nbc and i thought you guys might crossed paths, but I don't think you were there until 93, right?
Yeah, I think he was gone by then.
Larry Schultz was his name.
I don't know if you guys knew each other.
Name is very familiar.
I don't know if we actually met.
But he was producing the news for NBC.
So you guys would be in the building together if it was.
But I don't know if the timing.
30 Rock.
The timing was right.
Yeah, 30 Rock.
Great place to work.
But kind of crazy, right?
Like that you could just get a job in your dream field there was access to it it's i you know i'm the
luckiest guy in the world because it's what i was meant to do and what i love doing and and you know
now with all these different opportunities and different new mediums in which to do them it's
it's really a fun time to be in this business.
It's like an adventure every day
because there's something new
and a new way to do it.
And you're virtually unlimited,
whether it's television,
whether it's the new series on Discovery Plus
or the stuff we do in digital media.
What is it you want to do?
Do you want to bring the show back
to Netflix or something like that?
We're talking to a couple of different networks right now. What is it you want to do? Do you want to bring the show back to like Netflix or something like that? I mean, it would destroy.
We're talking to a couple of different networks right now.
And we're looking at it, doing it in a slightly different way.
But we've got many locations set up.
We did Michigan, as I mentioned.
And so it's, we'll know in the next couple months.
Can I tell you something?
Absolutely.
I think it's socially irresponsible that NBC ever canceled that show.
What was their reasoning? We got enough. I think the bottom line was, is that it became very,
very expensive for a lot of different reasons, not necessarily NBC's fault, but there was a lot
of competition to get it. ABC tried to get it. Other networks tried to get it. And in a higher
way, people involved in the production of it.
And so the production cause ballooned.
And I think at some level, they said, you know, we can make a ton of money repackaging,
repurposing all this great material, some of which didn't air.
We do Predator Raw, Predator In-Depth.
No, the spinoffs you got were to catch um an
id thief correct and there was what's the other one i forget all i remember is the stakes were
considerably lower yeah we're going from sex offenders to id thieves and it's just what are
we doing yeah yeah and so anyway that's why we brought it back to do the hansen versus predator
a few years ago and that's why we're doing this one have a seat but it is weird though that a
network would make that decision.
I think it would be
really difficult.
Right now,
it's hard for networks
to cancel a show
if there's a lot
of minorities on it.
Right?
If Akash gets a show
on ABC,
they can't cancel that show
for a minimum two seasons
or they hate brown people.
That is just what it is.
And I will ride
that excuse to the ground.
The second you go
in the office,
you're not going to do it, are you?
That's why they canceled.
All the predators are white guys.
They're like, there's no diversity on this show.
That's my question.
Now, if you brought that show back, would you have to get some minority predators?
It couldn't be all white.
You would need diversity.
You need to shake it up.
You get what you get.
You know, the interesting thing about that.
I'm sorry, Al, what the fuck are you wearing?
What was this for he lost confidence
that came out of nowhere like the fuck so did that outfit no but what is it i just like it
okay back to what you're saying i think you get whatever is in that community if you're near a
naval base you're going to get navy guys if you're naval base, you're going to get Navy guys. If you're near Silicon Valley, you're going to get people who work in the
computer industry. If you're in
one community that has
it's more diverse, that's
who you're going to get. I think it crosses over
for the most part. But what you say is right.
If you take a look at the
300 and some guys
who have surfaced, it is predominantly
white guys.
Mark, I'm wondering, is there certain parts of the country where it's easier per se to
catch and find predators?
Florida.
We did two in Florida.
The most we ever caught in three days was in California actually.
These things are all attached to, you know, when in the sequence of events, you know, how long you're out there.
It could be the weather.
It could be circumstances in the news that day.
You know, a lot of things are at play.
Right.
And is there a place where they're more grotesque, perhaps, like Florida?
You know, we've seen it all over.
I mean, we saw just as grotesque in long
island as in california as in florida as in ohio as in georgia let me position this question to
protect mark he's looking for a place to live i'm trying to stay away i'm trying to stay away
if you had a kid and you didn't want them to be around the thirstiest pedophiles, you wouldn't avoid, let's say,
California or Georgia or wherever the fuck these places are. I think it could happen anywhere. I
think if you set it up in the middle of Montana, you'd get people to show up. Really? I just,
I think the best way to protect your kids is to educate them and have an age-appropriate
conversation. And especially now during the pandemic, I mean, imagine all the kids who are online, how many hours they are online, and their parents are
online, but they're in another room captivated with whatever it is they have to do. And the
predators know that. And we went from 17 years ago having decoys on chat rooms at AOL and Yahoo
to an explosion in social media platforms. And we're not just talking about TikTok.
It's, you know, anything you can imagine.
And the interactive games are another area where kids can get to talk.
And this is why I think not only because you're catching predators,
I really think your show is important because if you're a predator,
just knowing Chris Hansen could be out there,
that might put some kind of governor on it.
But when your show's off the air, it's like, baby, let's go.
Yeah. We're out there. I mean, we're shooting again on it. But when your show's off the air, it's like, baby, let's go. We're out there.
I mean, we're shooting again very soon.
Hey, man. Did you hear that, fucking weirdos? Ideally, you're
not fans of this show.
Yeah.
Okay.
So then some dude shoots himself in the head.
This is
a tricky one. Texas. Because I see
it as a successful episode.
Jordan Trump. But they sued and there was this whole this is a tricky one. Texas. Because I see it as a successful episode. I know.
But they sued and there was this whole settlement. There was a settlement.
But here's what never really got fully reported on that.
Yeah.
We had a guy who surfaced in an investigation in Texas.
He was an assistant district attorney, a prosecutor.
Obviously, that's a big deal.
He was chatting
with a young boy, 13 years old. There was a solicitation in the eyes of law enforcement.
He never showed up. But according to Texas law and the laws in many states,
it's the solicitation online that constitutes the crime. Showing up is just the icing on the cake.
Love it.
So the next day, the police go to arrest him. They knock on his door. He has an old gun that used to belong
to his father. As opposed to being arrested, he sadly shoots himself. Shocking redemption.
What we don't, what wasn't reported at the time initially, what we've reported since, but
people don't pick up on it necessarily is that on his computer he had
multiple images of child pornography he was trying to get that hard drive off the computer he was
unsuccessful as the police were coming in and as an assistant district attorney he knew
that he faced up to 10 years in prison for each image that he possessed on that computer a bunch
of criminals he prosecuted and And he's a pedo.
Like, he's going to get fucked.
He's going to get torn apart in jail.
Do the math on that.
So you can debate the merits of the lawsuit.
Obviously, it was our position that it was meritless.
We were initially willing to go to trial.
There was a settlement reached.
And the reality is, if you go to trial,
the news division pays for it out of its budget.
If you settle, it comes out of the insurance policy. So do the math on that. Nobody really was
happy about the settlement initially, but I think people involved grew to become comfortable with
it given the totality of the circumstances. Yeah. I mean, if he's a pedophile, he ends up
killing himself, then I think we're pretty cool with that. Well, you know, I know what you're saying, but we don't want anybody to kill themselves.
We want people to face justice.
That's justice.
Yeah.
I understand what you're saying.
I don't want to pay for some pedophile to get three meals a day in prison.
That's a lot, yo.
Right?
I'd rather him just blow his head off.
Way rather that.
It's efficient, if nothing else.
Yeah.
I mean, doesn't Texas have the, what is it called?
The justice chair? Electric chair. Electric chair. nothing else. Yeah. I mean, doesn't Texas have the what is it called? The justice chair?
Electric chair.
Electric chair.
I like that one. I think Batman
I'm sure somebody's called it that.
Yeah. I mean, dude, people have
zero empathy for pedophiles, as they
should. I think that's why you're such a hero
on the show. Well,
if you were casting people who like
beat taxes, I think a lot of us would be like
hey give it a break chris i don't want to pay fucking taxes all the time you asshole why are
you going around chasing these people exactly but pedophiles people fucking love you man pretty
black and white even when they try to do hit pieces on you because we're doing some youtube
research all the comments are supportive of you yeah you know i mean they'll like try to show like
because you had some troubles that happened in your life which is kind of annoying because like what was the bounce check situation it was a
it was not an event it was a business situation it was resolved in a day you shouldn't have to
pay for anything i agree you're walking to a bar and this bud is on us i mean that i'm shocked i
want to go have a i want to confront that guy i want to that guy to
have a seat the fact that a guy could call the police on you over a few hundred bucks i don't
know what it was do you still owe him money no i'm paying that money off right now whatever you
need i'm paying that off it's about to be an event i'm taking the gold and the fucking machetes to
connecticut i'm gonna have a talk with this guy all right guys we're to take a break for a second because it's time to save y'all
some motherfucking money.
All right.
You know, we got some low interest rates out there.
And what does that mean?
It's time to refinance.
OK, refinance those loans, save some fucking money and take advantage of these low interest
rates before Biden boosts them up because you know what's coming.
You can't get any lower than where we are now.
So, you know, they're going up. You can't get any lower than where we are now.
So you know they're going up.
You take advantage of it now.
And how are you going to take advantage of it?
You're going to take advantage of it with earnest, right, Akash?
Hell yeah.
Student loans is one of the main places where you're just getting fucked on interest rates.
They inflate it all the time.
Right now, interest rates are low.
So go refinance at earnest.com.
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know why you wouldn't do this save money and save money is double save money save money and save
money yeah listen they're just printing out cash you might as well take advantage of it right don't
let those billionaires be the only ones that get to win off these, what is it, low interest rates.
I bet you would save more doing this than you would get off a STEMI check.
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You get to double up your STEMI check, too.
Visit Earnest.com slash flagrant for more details, okay?
Do that right now.
Let's get back to the show.
You saved that guy's kids, potentially.
You're getting pedophiles off the streets.
This guy wants to get paid for some mugs that got your name on it?
What an asshole this guy is.
A complete jerk-off.
Do you have his name?
His address?
Okay.
Honestly, we owe this guy tax money.
It's a child protection tax.
I believe that 100%.
If you've got kids.
You're a hero.
$100 a year.
You shouldn't pay taxes anymore.
I don't think you should pay taxes.
As long as you're catching pedophiles,
you shouldn't have to pay taxes.
That's it.
Well, I'll gladly catch the pedophiles
and pay my fair share.
We pay your taxes from now on.
Can't you get free coffee
and you can't even get your own memorabilia?
It's shocking.
What the fuck?
It is.
Honestly, if you came to me,
you're like,
can you make some shirts for me?
I would love to make some shirts for you.
Okay?
Not in youth sizes,
but I'll definitely make some shirts.
I'll make whatever the fuck you need.
Okay?
I appreciate that.
It was baffling to me.
And then I think that,
I think there might have been,
if I'm going to get conspiratorial,
I think there might have been
an organized effort
to try to get you out of there.
Hit it.
I'm just saying,
there's a powerful man in media
that's attacking pedophiles
and making it really cool to get pedophiles the fuck out of you.
No talents for these pedophiles.
Meanwhile, you got an international pedophile ring bubbling up with your boy Jeffrey Epstein.
He might have felt like you were hot on his tail.
Well, you know, there's an interesting story there.
Let's talk about it.
Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. In about 2015,
16, I had a meeting down in Florida with a group of investigators and some lawyers who were all
involved in the Epstein case. So there was a lot of information there. And Epstein had served his
year in and out of the county jail and was back living his life.
And the information was compelling and it was disturbing. And I tried to fashion a sting.
And the security around his New York residence and around his life in general was such that it
was difficult to penetrate and to figure out a way to do it. And I worked with some of the lawyers. It was before a lot of the victims had
actually come forward, victims who have now come forward. And to be honest with you, it's one of my
biggest journalistic regrets because we worked it, we worked it, it wasn't happening. I got busy
with other stuff. In the meantime, here in Miami, much to the paper's
credit, the Herald keeps pounding away and digging away at it, chipping away day by day, week by week.
And the Herald develops relationships with these victims. And ultimately, the victims come forward
and tell their story in the Herald. And there's no question, and the U.S. attorney in Manhattan at the time
said this when they charged Epstein,
that if it wasn't for the Miami Herald's fine work,
that case may not have been prosecuted,
at least not when it was.
So the lesson to me is that
sometimes these things take years.
They're not the automatic sting operations
that you want them to be,
and you have to stick with it for a long period of time. Can you tell us a little bit about sting operations that you want them to be and you have to stick
with it. Right. Can you tell us a little bit about the sting that you were setting up?
We were in the initial stages, um, working with a number of people who were,
you know, on the periphery of this investigation, um, of seeing if we could put somebody in
proximity who would be recruited
and then go into the Epstein system wearing hidden cameras.
It never got that far.
But you think today, knowing what we know,
having heard from these brave victims who came forward
to make this prosecution,
knowing what we know about the recruitment and the enablers,
Jelaine Maxwell, et cetera.
What happened, and so when I first got wind of the Peter Nygaard story.
Peter Nygaard was?
He's the topic of the new series on Discovery Plus on Seemly.
He's the fashion mogul who now is accused of human trafficking and all kinds of sexual assaults going back some 50 years.
Whoa, whoa.
He had Nygaard fashion.
So every pair of jeans that you would see at a Dillard's and many other places, that
was Nygaard.
Wish I knew that.
Close to a billionaire, right?
He had a major estate in the Bahamas.
And it was right next to another estate owned by a hedge fund guy.
And they got into a beef over property. And one thing led to another. And the investigators from
the hedge fund, Louis Bacon, got involved and started digging around in Nygaard's business
and found out that he was taking in young girls underage, drugging them, raping them.
I mean, we're talking about potentially thousands of victims
across the board. This happened in LA, it happened up in Canada, it happened in the Bahamas. And for
two years, I worked it, worked it, worked it, and then partnered with, you know, Blackfin TV and
Discovery Plus, and we were able to put this together. And not only was he involved in in the sexual assaults i mean brutal vicious
controlling sexual assaults but he was into this stem cell research as an effort to
find the fountain of youth yeah right and so he would go according to witnesses and investigators
he went so far as to impregnate young girls, have them get abortions,
harvest the stem cells from the fetuses
to inject into himself to prolong his life.
Now, I'm told-
Is he alive still?
He's in jail up in Winnipeg.
But is he living longer?
I'm not saying-
He's 79, and I'm told that, you know,
because he's not been able to get bail,
which is good,
and he's awaiting extradition to the United States,
indicted in Manhattan by the U.S. Attorney's Office there after a long investigation by the Human Trafficking Task Force in New York,
he's not able to get all his supplements and his injections and hormones.
So he's just wilting.
Withering away.
Love it.
So he's just wilting.
Withering away.
Love it.
But it is fascinating because you always hear this on these conspiracy chats,
people talking about the elites drinking baby blood and sacrificing babies and that kind of stuff.
But maybe that's referential to the stem cell.
Well, in this case it was.
In other words, we started to get more and more information.
One of his own children came forward,
Nygaard's son, Kaizen Bickel,
who is interviewed in the documentary,
and you'll see it on Discovery Plus,
and who has been on some of my shows on YouTube
and some other things,
who saw something that was inappropriate
between his father and a child at a dinner party
and started to think, thinking he got involved.
And not only did he help investigators in this case,
but he was actually interviewed for the documentary,
which was a huge step.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And very brave.
But it takes,
when we commissioned the story,
we didn't know that Kai was going to come forward.
We didn't know that another source of mine would say,
hey, look, talk to this lawyer.
He represents the former videographer and creative director for Nygaard
who had hundreds of hours of videotapes on the private jet
with the stripper pole and the pamper parties
and then going over to Asia.
Pamper parties?
Pamper parties.
He used to have these huge parties in LA and in the Bahamas
where he'd invite all kinds of women.
Okay.
And they would get their nails done and massages and makeup,
and some of these girls would get chosen, drugged, and taken away and raped.
In fact, one of the models interviewed in the documentary—
Oh, pamper, like they were getting pampered.
Yeah, you thought they were putting diapers on.
I thought they were walking around with pampers.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, that's what I thought too.
Well, I can see why you think that.
Yeah, 100%. Yeah, no, no. No, that's what I thought too. Well, I can see why you think that. Yeah, 100%.
But one of the victims in this case
is the famous supermodel Beverly Peale,
who signed a contract with Nygaard for three years,
and she is interviewed in the documentary,
and it was the worst decision she ever made,
and ultimately was sexually assaulted by him
and had a child by him.
Whoa.
Yeah. So this is, check it out. It's called Unseem made. And ultimately was sexually assaulted by him and had a child by him. Whoa.
Yeah.
So this is, check it out.
It's called Unseemly.
And this is your show on Discovery Plus.
Yeah.
Unbelievable.
I feel like Unseemly isn't really a strong enough adjective.
Yeah, we need a little stronger. Well, it's a play on the.
I got you.
Oh, seem because.
Now I get it.
Yeah, just get right to predator.
You know, you hit it on the nose on the other ones.
I think we just hit it on the nose.
Absolute rapist.
That's another title.
And you could spell absolute without the E, like a liquor.
Maybe he's Russian.
I don't know.
Yeah, dude.
That is absolutely crazy.
Yeah, if you look at what he looks like, it is atrocious. And so a year ago, literally last week.
Mel Blanc on drugs or whatever.
Mel Brooks, whatever.
Mel Brooks.
Yeah, he doesn't look young at all.
He's the guy at the Laker games, you know, who's always wearing a cowboy hat.
Jimmy Goldstein.
Yeah, look at this guy.
Nothing about him looks young.
Who's the chick to the left with the headband?
Oh, is that the Beverly?
That's the Beverly.
My bad, my bad.
Come on, though.
Yeah, my bad.
I didn't know.
So literally, it was like a year ago last week that we got back from the Bahamas interviewing
all these victims in this case.
And it was just a gut-wrenching experience, notwithstanding the fact that it was a little
edgy because he had paid off a lot of government officials in the Bahamas to get away with
this stuff.
So we're smuggling these women in and out of this safe house
where we're doing the interviews.
And we came back, I believe it was March 5th,
and it was right before the lockdown happened.
I mean, literally, it was the last trip I made
for several weeks, months, because of the pandemic.
And I remember coming back through Miami,
and we had added a couple days to it
and turned it into like a little bit of a spring break
because it was staying down in the Bahamas.
And it was just eerie coming back through Miami.
You could tell that people were starting to get uneasy about travel.
And we got back to Michigan and didn't move or didn't leave there.
Did you know beforehand this is probably the last set of interviews
we've got to do, so let's get everyone?
It was the last set of interviews we got to do, so let's get everyone? It was the last set of international.
I mean, look, we just did things remotely.
And as things opened up, we started getting back to work on it.
But literally, because I was at our house in Michigan,
we just had ordering television equipment from Amazon or wherever
to do the YouTube show, to do this or that.
And then the kids got tired of having me at the dining room table
because I was doing two shows a week, so I would move him to the basement.
Now we had to get more stuff in the basement,
so we could light that up properly and just adapt it.
You said that you were setting up this sting for Epstein,
and then you got busy with other things and it was hard to do.
Was there any pushback from the people at the networks?
Did you feel there was anybody protecting him at all?
No. It really didn't get
that far, but I don't think there would have been anybody
protecting him.
We would have had support for it.
Yeah, because in the past
there has been.
But I got to be honest with you,
I have never in 40 years had anybody
seriously tell me to back off a story so and that's the god's honest let me let me just clarify
for an advertiser not for a friend not for anything for litigious reasons did it ever happen
because there is a difference between a network going, I want to protect a
pedophile and a network going, this alleged pedophile sues like crazy. So we have to be
very careful if we say anything about them. Well, I think anytime you make very serious
allegations against somebody, you know, you have to do your due diligence.
Yeah.
And it's a reality that you could end up being sued.
Right.
So you do what you do in any case.
I mean, a poor guy can sue you just as easily as a rich guy.
Yeah.
And a lawyer would represent a poor guy if he thought he had a good case just as he would
a rich guy.
Yeah.
It's not lost on network executives that if you go stick in the machete in the face of a lion, you're, you know, you're happy to get it.
We fully expected to get sued by Nygaard.
He's very litigious.
He sued the CBC.
You know, we weren't the only ones working on the story.
New York Times worked on the story, did a great job.
The CBC up in Canada did a great job on the story.
up in Canada did a great job in the story.
CBC worked on the story a long time and was held at bay because of
restrictions on the press
in Canada and his litigious
behavior. You know what blows my mind about these
guys is the arrogance that it happened
over a property dispute. Like you're a
super predator and you're like, nah,
I'm so untouchable that this property dispute,
let's get litigious, who gives a fuck? Like you feel
that invincible. And so aggressive
that he went after Louis Bacon,
and he had this creative director, videographer,
create just horrible misinformation campaigns
claiming that he was with the KKK,
and he was a racist, and all this horrible stuff.
I mean, just really.
And when you looked at it,
they would take something from, like, the CBS Evening News, right?
And edit something into it.
But if they put it on Bohemian television.
It'll look legit.
It may not get questioned.
And that's what these guys,
that's what the Niagara's people were doing.
And we have the video of them watching this stuff.
And the actual finished product.
It's interesting.
When we were doing the Netflix special, we just did this special for Netflix and you
know we were calling everybody and their mother a pedophile we were doing jokes
we weren't doing journalism we're just making fun of like what was happening
and obviously with everything with Epstein and Maxwell and then all these
other people we were talking about it because it was you're referencing what
happened to us last year and when we had to get it through legal there was pushback where it's like you can't just say that about a human being
which rightfully so right you shouldn't be able to just go hey you're a pedophile woody allen
yeah have you seen that no i haven't but i know like i don't need to see i'm not gonna see and
go he is a pedophile for marrying his daughter.
Now that I think about it, right?
I did want to ask that.
Did you ever look into Woody Allen?
I never did.
And it is a great question.
I've only seen one episode of the series.
I want to look at the whole thing. Oh, man.
And I was just in the early 90s.
I started NBC in 93. And looking back, a was just in the early nineties, I started NBC in 93 and looking
back, you know, a lot of that happened in 91, 92. And I was still a local reporter in Detroit. So
it wasn't, I mean, it was on my radar sorta, but it wasn't like it would have been had I gotten
there a couple of years earlier, I probably would have been right in the thick of it all.
Are you good at parsing out when you watch a documentary, like how biased it is? Because
some documentaries, I haven't seen this one, but some are really like just trying to get a point
across and some are not. And if you look at the't seen this one, but some are really like just trying to get a point across
and some are not.
And if you look at the making of a murder,
there's all kinds of controversy and the point of view
and were they held to the same standards
as traditional journalists.
And I do look at it with a very critical eye from that standpoint
because my stuff is held to extraordinarily high ethical standards.
I mean, our lawyers have lawyers.
Right.
We do something like Nygaard or the other series that's on Discovery Plus right now on this YouTuber, Onision.
Yeah, we were looking at that.
What is the issue with that?
Well, he became famous on YouTube after he did this video called I'm a Banana.
And it was on Tosh.0.
Yeah.
That show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In 2007-ish.
And it took off on YouTube.
And then he started to do a show and he tapped into this young female market.
And you're okay even if you're down and blue, you know, be positive.
And then it transitioned into you're fat
you're horrible and a lot of body shaming and then a lot of predatory stuff and he would actually
invite some of these fans out to live with he and ultimately his spouse in washington state and
all kinds of allegations it's always fucking washington state dude in this case it's
always no with these cults his people did a whole cult out there too did you not watch that oh show
no that was just one indian a bunch of vegans that's all that was but it's always washington
state wild wild country that's the same as once you go to the upper left ted bundy was from up
there bundy's from up there something's going ony's from up there. Unabomber? Something's going on. The Unabomber?
I covered the Unabomber as far back as 1985 in Detroit
because he sent a package to Professor James McConnell
at University of Michigan.
We got into that at that point.
It followed it all the way up to his ultimate arrest in Montana.
I have some questions for you.
Sure.
We're going to put you on the hot seat.
Very good.
Are you ready, Chris?
I live in the hot seat.
Okay.
So you say.
I'm nervous.
Okay, here we go.
The speed limit is reduced in school zones.
Should pedophiles be forced to drive faster?
No. They should just be stopped on site and arrested immediately yeah that's a great answer that's a good answer he got you that's one point
chris zero andrew son of a bitch okay i have a feeling it's not over yet though you have eight
emmys 10 actually oh god damn point two zero2. Body, body, body. Zero. Zero. I was saving that.
I didn't want to interrupt you.
Okay.
You have 10 Emmys, okay?
But Emmy is a young girl's name.
Do you feel conflicted that you have them in storage?
Oh.
No.
You feel like you need eight more?
Oh.
I think we might get a couple more with these Discovery Plus.
Yeah, here we go
did you ever think about doing an episode
in a church in Boston
come on
you know
I was wondering how you're welcome in the Catholic Church
I mean just walk in
who wants it
right
that's the easiest episode in the world
well you know you watch Spotlight, you know, the movie,
and you see what these guys went through to report that story,
and it's really a compelling narrative.
Yeah.
And they went through hell to report it.
Yeah.
And that shows the power and the economic power of the Catholic Church.
No, but, like, if they see you,
do you think they're trying to, like, poison the wafer they give you?
Do they start sweating, bro?
No, I, you know, I've spoken to the conference of bishops,
and there's no real relationship with the Catholic Church,
but I think I'm on their radar.
Not for bad reasons, but just for...
Okay, you're not out yet.
What is the biggest giveaway that someone's a pedophile
and why is it wearing Crocs?
Because they're easy to get in and out of.
That's point four.
He's heating up.
And they're quiet when you come creeping into them.
Oh, my gosh.
That's a good point.
And they got the back strap, you know, so you can run.
If you need to, you lock in and go for it.
Okay, final question are
you ready ready when are you going to investigate the judges on toddlers and trs bombshell
it's a great that's a hard one probably take a look at
yeah you should okay they're judging the hotness of little kids i know that makes me so uncomfortable
and i
don't know anything about the show so i shouldn't say you don't need to my mouth it's just the whole
notion of it and brings me back to you know covering the jean benet thing yeah so many years
ago and just is that necessary it's not not at all i mean it's super weird not at all yeah i think we
should get rid of it yeah and i think i know the man to do it. I'll report back.
Boom.
That's five for five.
He got all of them.
All right.
So before you leave, I just want you to tell everybody the projects you're working on,
where they can see it.
I know that you're doing a podcast.
I know you have the YouTube shows.
You're really getting into independent media, which is what we have been thriving on right now. Congratulations to you guys, too.
Thank you.
You're killing it.
Thank you so much.
The Netflix thing was great and the stand-up stuff. Thank you. Thank you. But tell us, man Thank you so much. It was great. And the, you know,
the standup stuff.
Thank you.
Thank you.
But tell us,
man.
So where can we see you? So we've got on Discovery Plus,
we've got the two series,
Onision and Real Life,
which is extraordinarily compelling and takes people into a world and holds YouTube accountable in a way that no other project ever has.
And then Unseemly,
the Peter Nygaard investigation,
which is,
we're talking
about one of the most prolific predators I've ever come across. YouTube is Have a Seat with
Chris Hansen. We do a lot of original content there and some of the predator stories that we've
done, the investigations. We're in talks right now for a new predator series with a couple of
different networks and the podcast, Predators I've Caught, which is really compelling
and really interesting. We just made
New and Noteworthy
on True Crime on Apple TV.
Bravo. Prolific. It's a big deal.
Well, you're the GOAT, man. We appreciate your
work. Thank you for having me. You are.
It's been amazing. Keep up the great work yourselves. It's awesome to be here.
Thank you very much for coming down and
I pray that none of us are on any of
your projects in the future. I pray that as well. But thank you one more time. Chris Hansen, and also you want to none of us are on any of your projects i pray that as well in the
future but thank you one more time chris hansen and also you want to just give them your youtube
page and your uh youtube is i have a seat with chris hansen social twitter at chris hansen the
official chris hansen on instagram thank you man keep up the great work h-a-n-s-e-n right correct
h-a-n-s-e-n perfect thank you all right we'll be back in a second all right guys we're gonna take
a break for a second because uh some of y'all need some new fucking headphones, okay?
You need some new headphones,
and you need some headphones that are going to give you amazing quality
but not break your bank, all right?
Not everybody can afford these fucking $10,000 headphones,
especially when you're losing them every two days.
Boy.
What's that?
I lose one a month.
So you've got to have a headphone that you can actually get,
you can get again in case you lose it,
but also is going to provide the same quality that you get from any other brand,
and that is Raycon.
Plain and simple.
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That was dope, man.
Chris Hansen is dope.
He got a soothing voice.
You could tell that he did radio.
Yeah, absolutely.
He speaks like a guy who's done radio.
Yeah, smooth.
Smooth operator.
Very poised.
And how crazy is that that he had the Epstein thing going?
Dog, the Epstein thing. This Nystrom or whatever or whatever the fuck nygaard might be even crazier yeah he's crazier but it's it's not as um
uh it's not as culturally relevant yeah because it's not like highly connected and everybody's
involved i'm sure a motherfucker of his status is going to be highly connected but like i didn't
even know who he was until he mentioned him.
He's like Finnish-Canadian.
That's why it wasn't as big here, but he's huge there.
People talk about that clothing.
It could be a thing.
You don't know what private jets he had and who had been on him and all that.
It could become a thing.
Yeah.
That's just wild.
I mean, imagine Chris Hansen is the one to expose Jeffrey Epstein.
That would be nuts, dude.
Dude, I'm telling you, it'd be a pay-per-view event, bro.
It'd be perfect. Unreal. Facts. Make Epstein. Oh, it would be nuts, dude. Dude, I'm telling you, it would be a pay-per-view event, bro. It would be perfect.
Unreal.
Facts.
Make Epstein have a seat.
Come on, dude.
All right, man, let's talk about it, man. We got some topics that we got to hit on.
We haven't talked about Izzy's fight, Stylebender.
Took an L trying to get his second belt.
He came up to 205 to fight the champ, Jan Blachowicz.
Yeah.
Forgive me, Jan jan if i'm not
pronouncing your fucking name right but um name's stupid so he was nice though he is and izzy even
said it afterwards he was like he's if i have to lose to somebody he's a great champ he's gracious
he's sweet like it's so weird there are some people that need to get themselves so hyped for those fights that the person in front of them, they have to literally want to kill.
Yeah.
Right?
But Jan seems like this guy, like, he doesn't seem like he'd fight dirty.
No.
He seems like he's going to fight by the rules.
He understands it's the fight game.
He's going to try to knock you out.
Yeah.
But he doesn't seem like the guy who would, like, hold you in a choke longer than he needs to.
Yeah.
Or punch you one extra time after you're down just because yeah and there are motherfuckers in mma that like they will choke
you out you're tapping and they hold that shit until the ref stops right there are people who
see somebody unconscious on the floor and then jump on top yeah for so he seems like this sweet
kind of nice guy and he fought a fucking brilliant fight against izzy he really did like he was ready
for the leg kicks
yeah you know um izzy was trying to catch him with that question mark question mark kick yeah
over and over again he was able to block uh block it and um he beat izzy fair and square yeah and
it's a bummer obviously because that's our guy yeah you know i spoke to him he said he's doing
good you know it is what it is and like he said uh you know like he was saying dare to be great and yeah you should be great like right the guy is coming up
20 pounds yeah right to go fight the guy who is the champ who's been knocking people the fuck out
and as far as i saw i didn't see izzy hurt one time during the fight no the guy used his weight
well stayed on top of him yeah and that was it but but he landed punches on izzy oh yeah but i didn't see izzy get stumbled like he was able to handle the power and yann was
just concussing people yeah like one punch knockout okay the last few fighters they fought i don't
know if you saw last couple of his fights i i think i seen one but he was just concussing 220
pound guys yeah big big boys big boys and he's getting into that ring at like 240 and is he
staying 200 probably seems yeah i don't know about 240 that'd be a lot of weight to put on i don't
know i'm throwing on number 205 is where they fight at so usually you could probably maybe
add like another 15 pounds i'm an idiot i thought the fight was at 220 and then no no 205 185 is
what is he usually fights at 205 so so yeah so this is there's a couple things that are going on here obviously
i'm fucking biased i want izzy to win you know but he did get out pointed he he got i thought
that yon striking was phenomenal izzy's one of the best strikers in the history of mma right
and yon was able to strike with him effectively yeah is he landed his shots is he rocked him a
couple times i thought one time he had him hurt but yon was able to be in there effectively. Izzy landed his shots. Izzy rocked him a couple times. I thought one time he had him hurt.
But Jan was able to be in there
and Jan landed a couple shots. I thought
Izzy was going to absolutely dominate him
with the striking, but Jan was going to be
big to the point where if he landed,
it could hurt Izzy. And it wasn't
the case. Jan was
effective with the striking.
So what I think happened was
in a weird way and i know
you're gonna go oh you just capping for your boy blah blah blah i don't care i think this is the
best case scenario for is he fighting at 185 pounds right i think this is best case scenario
for a couple things one where he's dominant at is 185 pounds and there's a couple reasons why he's dominant one he just
happens to be the best in the world at 185 pounds right but he can use some of his advantages at
185 pounds that he doesn't exactly have at 205 with those bigger guys right like at 185 he's
significantly taller and longer than these guys so what is he can do is he can hop in punching
and kicking range and hop out of punching and kicking range whenever he wants while also being out of the range of the person he's fighting.
So if you've noticed a few of his last knockouts, I've noticed they come from these lean back hooks.
Have you seen it?
He dropped Costa with that lean back hook.
He dropped, what's the other Australian guy that he fought?
Robert Whitaker with that lean back hook he dropped um what's the other australian guy that he fought robert whittaker with that lean back hook like he just kind of he exchanges he throws his combination and he leans
away from their strike while throwing this kind of like up left hook it's a really odd punch right
but super effective it's harder to do that against a taller longer opponent because you have to
commit yourself to being in a danger zone more than you do against a smaller opponent right so
he's got to take more fights at that weight where you're fighting guys that height so he could learn
how to be effective in his striking right without putting himself in too dangerous or too precarious
a situation okay right but what i love about this is the last fight he had at 185 when he took out
costa that bum he would he destroyed him to a point where, at least I was going,
there's nobody interesting for him to fight at 185.
Right.
Like, he's too dominant.
Right.
It's the Khabib thing.
Yeah.
Like, we don't need to see Khabib fight Dustin Poirier again.
God bless Dustin Poirier, but Khabib dominated him,
so it's not interesting to see him fight him again.
He was too dominant, and all of a sudden, you start to see him fight him again right he was too dominant
and all of a sudden you start to lose interest in the fights when people are too dominant right
him losing to yan puts a battery in everybody at 185 is back okay they're all going oh shit all
you gotta do is take him down yeah oh if you get him down then then you can control him. Right. Yeah. I want you to try that.
Okay.
I want you to try to get into grappling range with Izzy
because he's going to piece you up and he's going to sit you the fuck down.
Right.
Right?
So I think this is good because it really heightens the interest at 185 again
where there was none at all.
And that's the division where you want to just see him dominate.
If he knocks out, I think he's going to fight Darren Till next next okay if darren till beats this uh marvin vittori guy okay and
him against darren till is gonna be the most fun that we've ever had in a fight build up on social
media they're both exceptional on social media this guy darren till is very funny on social okay
very funny right he's funny in interviews and the two of them going at it together in the
hype of the build-up to the fight also they both finally fucking speak english yeah i've been
telling izzy this for his entire career stop fighting these guys who don't speak english
right you gotta do all the promoting of the fucking fight yeah you're gonna fight against
a guy who speaks english he can promote it to all the fans that also understand english in a really
funny effective way.
That fight, he's got to get by this Marvin Vittori guy, but that is a super fight.
I would be so excited to see that fight. And ideally, there's fans back in there, etc.
So I think this is very good for Izzy at 185.
Here's the problem.
here's the problem if john jones goes and wins the heavyweight belt by beating the winner of inganu versus uh steepay john jones has something over izzy which is jones went up and wait won a
belt okay izzy went up and wait and he lost the 205 chance that's not to say that Izzy can't go up and do it again. But if John is effective,
then he has something over Izzy
as the current GOAT in the sport.
Right.
Right?
So that's up to you.
Let's see what happens.
I mean, John Jones could get caught
by one of those big boys
and then completely knocked out.
And then Izzy got something over John.
He's like, you went up and weighed.
You got your ass knocked the fuck out.
That being said,
John Jones is a very good wrestler.
And if Izzy struggled with Jan wrestling,
Jan isn't a wrestler,
but he's black belt in jujitsu.
He's a good ground game,
but he would struggle with John.
Right.
So it is,
it is just an interesting thing.
Now,
John doesn't have the power that Jon has.
Right.
So Izzy's going to go trade with Jon.
Okay.
If they keep it on the feet, Izzy, after feeling Jon's power and not getting dropped, he's like, oh, I'm ready.
I'm ready for these 205ers.
I wonder if Izzy right now, I really want to talk to him on the pod.
Izzy, come on the pod already, man.
I wonder after engaging with Jon and not getting getting hurt if he's like i should have just
stood in there with that motherfucker right because when he exchanged with him there was
one moment where he caught yon with a left hook and yon hid the fact that he was hurt well but
in the replay you see him get staggered and kind of walking around i think if izzy knew how badly
he was hurt he would put on a sauce yeah he just didn't want to get exposed he didn't want to get
you mean he didn't want to get uh caught yeah didn't want to get, you mean he didn't want to get caught.
Yeah.
Like he can counter so well, but if he, you know.
If he gets caught, because the guy has concussive power.
Yeah.
And I think by the end of the fight, Izzy starts to realize, he's caught me clean a few times.
I can eat some of these.
And I ate him.
So, I mean, I would even like to see them go at it again, maybe later on.
Yeah.
And maybe it's a different fight.
But also you could argue that Jan would be like, I'm not even striking with this guy i'm gonna take him
down and if he doesn't improve his takedown defense or doesn't improve his ability to get
back up when he's been taken down i'm just gonna hold him down there right which is what yon did
yon didn't do damage when he had him on the ground he just held him he held him yeah and that's on
izzy is he got to be able to get up from that. Yeah. And ideally he learns, et cetera, and kind of improves that part of the game.
But, yeah, go.
You can correct me if I'm wrong, soaking Izzy.
I thought, I'm watching the fight worried for Izzy,
I thought he got caught a couple times in the third round maybe,
and then he got a little bit shook from it.
Not shook, but like he got a little more affected than not feeling it at all.
And I thought that's where he started to lose the fight,
and that's why i don't remember at the like i felt like that's where he got a little more loose with
how he was playing and then he was able to get taken down does that make any sense i'm watching
complete amateur he looked tired he was saying he was tired but i would say towards the end
like towards the end i think he was doing this like kind of like flow thing yeah right but i
think that was masking him just being being tired and you know what i'd
be tired too if i was carrying another 20 pounds with me yeah he usually fights a 185 and he fights
around his weight so he weighs in 185 i don't think he gains more than five pounds for a fight
afterwards so imagine you're carrying an extra 15 pounds yeah around for a five round fight that's
different right like had the round of trying to get up from him.
You're being held down?
200 pounds on you?
After the fourth-round takedown, it was...
I would say even the first takedown is what...
That was in the fourth round, I think, right?
Fourth and fifth.
The first takedown?
He got up from one.
I thought it was earlier.
Maybe.
But I think that was a big part of the reason what gassed him.
He usually is good to go for five rounds.
Oh, he's got energy forever.
So it was interesting to see.
But it is a different level of energy.
When you're carrying around more weight, every clinch is different.
That's a good point.
And you're also thinking differently.
I don't know.
I know it seems like I'm capping for Izzy,
but I really feel like for interest in 185-pound fights,
this is the best thing.
Right.
In order to promote fights, you need to think the other guy has a chance.
Yeah.
Like, remember when Mayweather fights started to get boring?
He was fighting Carlos Boldemir.
The guy actually went to that fight in Vegas.
But, like, he's fighting these guys.
You're like, there's no way that Mayweather can lose to this guy.
Yeah.
So what's the point of me watching?
And then Mayweather had to turn heel so hard.
Right? He had to become heel so hard. Right?
He had to become the villain so bad that you just bought it hoping he would lose.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Right.
But I don't know if he wants to do that.
Like, I don't know if he wants to be like a villain like that.
Nah.
And like, it's not his brand.
Yeah.
It's like, he's like, he's weird. He's like a, he's kind of like, he's like the Joker.
Like, he's not a villain,
but he's not a good guy.
He'll knock you out and hump you.
You know what I mean? Captain America ain't doing that.
He's mischievous.
Yeah, he is mischievous. He's Loki.
Right?
You know what I'm saying? He's not Thor,
but he's Loki. He's not a bad guy
completely, but he's not a good guy completely.
And it's relatable.
Because if someone's talking shit to you and you knocked them out, you want to hump them too.
Yeah.
You don't got to do that good guy shit, handshake nonsense.
Get a stroke going.
Let's go.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
Yo, Izzy's got to know what you sacrificed to watch his fights, bro.
Yo, that's true, man.
We had, when we were in Salt Lake.
Yeah.
And I was about to go on.
Yo.
Like on stage. So I just about to go on. Like on stage.
So I just had Mark go longer.
This man's mad stressed in the green room, pacing around like, come on, Izzy.
How much time did you do?
45.
No, no, no.
I didn't like quite.
This is the thing.
I don't think Izzy understands this, but I get so nervous.
I was super nervous.
You describe it.
Bro, there's a crowd of people sitting in salt lake
city so excited to see their favorite comedian that's packed out all these people in there the
guy comes in he's like you ready to start you're like well we can wait three four minutes you know
and he's just sitting in there anxious as fuck sitting on the ground everyone's sitting on the
couch he's just sitting on the ground i'm so nervous i'm really hard i'm shaking i i actually
shake this is with with fights where where I'm invested in a fighter.
I shake, and I'm so nervous.
And I literally am thinking, I just can't wait for this fight to be over so I can calm down and go on stage in front of people and talk.
Bro, people are chanting his name.
Andrew, Andrew, Andrew.
Andrew's in a fetal position in the green room, terrified for Izzy.
Isn't that crazy?
I'm way more terrified of a fight that i have
zero control that's why you're terrified yeah i guess you have no control over it but still like
most people their greatest fear is speaking in front of strangers yeah we're in a theater full
of people in boston you're like hanging out taking pictures with people having a good time you watch
izzy fight and you're fucking i am a shell of myself and it takes a second like when i go on
stage i gotta like loosen up a little bit because I'm so tensed just
from watching it.
They got to put these fights in an afternoon.
You know what I mean?
It can't be this late night thing where you're competing with your own show.
I don't know.
I'm not very important.
Switch up the shit for us.
The only thing I'm bummed about is we're probably never going to get the Jon Jones fight.
I think we will still.
I think it will be later on.
I think if Jon loses to one of those heavyweights
it's guaranteed like it's guaranteed they both get humbled they could both talk shit john goes
into the fight going i'm just gonna take this guy down uh izzy goes in the fight going i could take
any punch from that motherfucker laying clean as often as you want i took clean shots from one of
the hardest hitters at 205. Ate it.
So I'm stepping in there.
I'm exchanging with you.
It's on.
So I think we get it.
I guess we got to hope that Stipe or Francis knocks out John. Also, if one of them knocks out John,
if Francis Ngannou goes in there with John Jones,
that's not a decision.
John might be able to beat him by decision,
but if Francis wins that fight, it's night-night.
Yeah.
And if he gets knocked out violently,
oh, is he going to have a field day on Instagram, bro?
I cannot wait.
Talk about John like he got no real holes, though.
Yeah, he's, I mean, look i'm not an mma expert or
anything like that but he's really good man yeah he's really fucking good yeah i don't know but
when i hear people talk about him they're like he just there's nothing he doesn't do yeah he
boxes well he wrestles well he maybe doesn't punch hard that's the only that's the only knock and you
heard that from uh dc and dc got knocked out by john j. Okay. Right? By a kick.
Right.
But he's basically saying, like, he doesn't carry his punching power.
Like, his punching power is not as hard as other guys of that weight.
Right.
But he's incredibly good at striking.
He's incredibly effective at it.
But his single-punch power isn't going to sit you down.
And I think he pieced up up i think it was uh anthony
smith for like five rounds yeah you know i mean there's certain guys that he just for for rounds
was touching but not doing anything concussive right and uh that's actually good news for our
boy yeah because if you want to sit in there and exchange yeah you're gonna get caught yeah if you
hit harder then it's to be a good night.
Or if you can just strike more and land more,
you can get the decision.
Boom.
Exactly.
So, yeah, we'll see what happens.
It's an interesting time.
I don't know.
What else we got going on this week?
I feel like we had so many things happen.
A lot of stuff.
So there were the Grammys yesterday.
I didn't realize until about after it was over.
It's so funny how little we care.
With nothing else to do, we don't even remember Grammys.
Oscars is probably not going to give a fuck about anything.
The only reason I knew the Grammys were happening
is because they were trying to cancel Bill.
Only reason I knew.
Old Billy Bitch Tits came through, bro.
What's that? That's his nickname. That's what he calls himself
on stage. Does he really? Yeah.
Billy Bitch Tits? I was like, yo, Mark White
is disrespectful, bro. You never heard that
bit?
Old Billy Bitchness, Old Billy Redface?
No.
We going at Chappelle.
We going at Billy Bitchness.
What are you trying to do over here? That's what he said.
Mark the Sniper out here.
But yeah, so I guess he was saying some stuff.
Akash showed us a couple videos.
And it's so funny because he's just being him.
He couldn't care less, dude.
He couldn't care less.
And there is no audience.
I guess it's all done. Was it through streaming or something yeah i guess so
but he's at some space some theater or whatever and it sounds like he's bombing because there's
no audience right but you can hear the workers laughing yeah right it's like an old episode of
talk soup or something like that so he's clearly not bombing and if you're watching at home you're
laughing but everybody on twitter that's just like this woke social justice warrior that doesn't even
know who the fuck bill burr is he's going yeah see look what happens when comedians tell jokes
about you know sensitive topics you know it doesn't work out you're bombing it's like no
the guy was fucking murdering we're all dying laughing yeah it's also great because having
we took a car ride of bill burr after the patrice benefit yeah yeah and he just is so in touch with his funny yeah one of the most awkward car rides
i've ever seen one of those awkward car rides wait what well i mean you know you look up to the guy
so much yeah you know what i mean so it's like i don't know i was just i admire this guy i think
he's so fucking funny but at the same time i'm you know trying to have a conversation with him but
he's also so good at just doing the talk it felt like i was on his podcast which he does by himself so that's what it
felt like yeah so and uh he was just i mean he was just one topic after another topic bang bang
but i didn't know if i was like should we do this together or i just throw up softballs i mean you
could say anything you could be you know what do you think about uh tampon commercials he goes yeah
we get it it soaks it up what anybody wants yeah i mean, yeah, we get it. It soaks it up.
What do you want?
I mean, how often do you need to be told it soaks it up?
I think it soaks it up.
I remember I was in the green room, and he went on and on for probably 20 minutes straight about helicopters.
And this was right after Kobe passed.
Oh, yeah.
No one got a word in, and he was just in every factor.
Yeah, that's right.
Helicopters, and then putting jokes in
between oh dude it was so fun like he had the whole thing broken down because i i know that
he loves helicopters so when he was in the green room for the patrice thing i was just like maybe
he's got some interesting perspective on it and stuff like that and dude he was yeah yeah yeah
fucking cloudy yeah just don't take it up i mean i love it you see the clouds you don't go i love the guy who
is himself all the time on stage it's just like i'm just doing the same shit i always do yeah so
i was just in that car ride just like oh this is the best just watching this happen and that's what
i thought the grammy show was he's just he's being him making himself laugh with the yeah he opens i haven't been able to find
the piano solo that happened before he went on stage but he opens by going and i'm i'm i the
only one that wanted to kill himself during that piano solo fucking wild now i don't know who did
the piano solo but that was the highlight of their life yeah right like they were like i'm fine mom
dad i'm finally performing at the grand please watch and
the second you finish bill burris up there going hey that was a suicidal piece of music right there
wasn't it god dude then he fucks up the winner's name he's presenting tropical latin album of the
year which is so funny not even a fucking is there another kind of latin album yeah yeah
haven't been in miami
it's all tropical latin the guy doesn't look tropical at all no he looks like the hawaiian
punch guy a little bit yeah he's a little red you know that's that's as close as he is to tropical
oh my god so yeah um so yeah it's just so funny when, like, Twitter thinks they can cancel somebody. You can't cancel somebody whose fans love what they do.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, Trump should have taught everybody that.
Like, if what he does, like, what's it called?
If what he does, like, hypes up his fan base, if they love that thing, you can't
cancel him for it. And that's what Bill was
doing. He was doing him.
His fans love that he trashed the Emmys while
he was hosting them. So you can't
in any way cancel the guy for something that
their fans love. The greatest.
So good. It is
funny seeing everyone call him racist.
Like, oh, this guy is so racist.
He's racist. That's what I'm saying. On Twitter,
everyone's like, oh, he's racist, that he he got her name wrong that he fucked up all this shit he
fucked up her name apologize it's like he's like i'm accepting this award on your behalf yeah i'm
sorry i butchered your name that's it why is that racist i don't know is it racist to get someone's
name wrong can you get anything wrong anymore i don't know can't we just be wrong and her name
is hard too what's her name this shit is smart i smart. I don't know how to say it, bro.
I'm racist.
I know you're racist.
No.
You try to pronounce it.
I will.
Put it up.
Yeah, pull it up.
Let's see if you got it.
N-I-G-G.
Wait.
What's her name?
Nobody knows, and it doesn't matter.
Bro, I texted it to you.
Best tropical Latin performer. Album, I think. Best tropical Latin album. Who cares? doesn't matter right i texted to you best tropical latin performer album i think best tropical latin
album who cares anyway you're not canceling bill burr he couldn't give a fuck i'm so surprised that
he was even at the emmys yeah that was the saddest part is like why are you here you're better than
this but what he said was interesting he's like the only reason i came oh yeah because i thought
i was going to meet all these rock stars but you must have known nobody's going to be there. I could see Milburn not
knowing. Also, yeah, maybe he did.
These aging rock stars, they're like
80 years old. They've done every single
drug. Corona will take them out in a fucking
split second, and he still
thinks that they're going to show up to the Emmys.
Look at the one he wanted to meet, some fucking
random ass. Yeah, Richard Dawkins
or something. I was like, isn't that like a scientist?
Yeah. Natalia?
Natalia
La Forcada.
La Forcade? That's what I would have guessed.
That's a stupid name, dude.
That's stupid, bro. That's dumb, dude.
Don't do that. Don't do it.
Natalia La Forcade?
La Forcade?
Yeah, La Forcade.
You think Bill Burr is going to be able to pronounce that name?
Hold on.
If there's not an MC at the beginning of his name,
there ain't no need for him to know it.
Also, this is another thing.
You don't get practice.
Oh, yeah, it's true because you don't know.
You don't know who's going to win.
If you knew who was going to win, you could practice it,
but you don't know.
You could practice all five,
but ain't nobody going to learn that many Spanish names.
That's a lot to remember.
That's too many.
In the moment, you can fuck one up.
Come on, bro.
Natalia La Forcade.
Nah.
You killed it.
Yeah, you got it.
I did murder that shit.
You got it, bro.
You not racist.
You got that shit.
You got it, man.
You got it, man.
What else?
I think this is comedians just doing this on purpose for some clout.
Ooh.
Because the week before, you had Tracy Morgan.
What did you do?
Missing out on soul.
Oh, yeah. That shit was so funny. That was Tracy Morgan. What do you do? Soul. Oh, yeah.
That shit was so funny.
That was so good.
What did he say?
No, he said Sal.
Yeah.
He goes, what's up, Tracy Morgan?
The winner is Sal.
I mean, Soul, fuck.
No, he didn't.
He didn't say fuck, but that's literally how he said it.
And they start clapping.
I mean, Soul, as they're fading out the music.
I'm starting to think this is for a moment.
I hope so. He's hating, bro. He's hating, because as they're fading out the music. I'm starting to think this is for a moment. I hope so.
He's hating, bro.
He's hating because he wasn't in it.
Oh.
Yeah, that could be some hate, bro.
Try to give him a Spanish name.
That's what it was.
He should have had a new Latin album.
All right, guys.
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get back to this oh also guys we got some tour dates coming, man. I'm so excited to say that you made me feel like a fucking Backstreet Boy.
Okay, the tour, our first tour back in business was completely sold out.
It's unbelievable, man.
Before the first weekend when we went out.
So thank you guys so much for spreading the word.
Thank you guys for always supporting.
And you know what?
We are going to add some more dates to that tour so uh oh another cool thing is some of those dates that were sold out as the states start to peel
back some of the covid restrictions more seats might pop open so keep your eyes peeled you know
we'll obviously make mentions on instagram we'll talk about on the podcast but maybe even the comedy
clubs you can add yourself to their email list and they're going to shoot you an email the second some tickets open up i think we had
that happen in uh forget which city oh west palm west palm immediately opened up another 40 seats
per show so that was 160 tickets from available i think those are sold out now but point is go get
them get on them and we're going to talk more and And also, DM me, message us, comment on any of the photos, cities that you want us to come to,
because we are starting to get this thing back to moving.
It's happening.
Yeah, we're going to add some more tickets.
So, theandrewschultz.com for all those new dates that we're going to put up soon.
Akash, what you got?
I am going to be in St. Louis this week, the 18th through the 20th at Helium Comedy Club.
I'm doing the Heliums right now.
I'm on a Helium tour.
18th through the 20th in St. Louis.
April 2nd and 3rd in Buffalo, New York.
Football season is over.
You ain't got shit else to do.
And April 15th through 17th, I'm going to be in Portland.
So if you're tired of liberal ass Portland, come.
I'll be your safe space from these safe space motherfuckers.
AkashSingh.com for tickets.
You know, Portland got some of the best audiences in the country but that is by far
the worst city in the whole country
undeniably
you just gotta buy something expensive because there's no state tax
and that's your trip
that justifies it? that's it, that's all you can do outside of
you just gotta go to Nike's store, you go to the Nike employee's store
skip the Adidas one, the Adidas one fuckers
somebody holler
I'll take care of you, you go to that Nike employee's store
and you just spend a rack full
of money but you got to bring a bag with you you bring an extra bag because if you send your stuff
to any state you have to pay the state tax that you send it to son of a bitch got you appreciate
you all right let's get back to what else we got going on man you get your stimmies are out yeah
y'all got a stimmy nah i don't know if i can
get it i don't know how that shit works because i didn't get it goes to your bank account i didn't
do taxes for 2018 or some shit you do taxes a lot oh so you can't get any of this money i don't
fucking know you gotta you can't get it you make too much you might be able to get it maybe not
i think you might we gotta put dove on it bro we gotta i think you make too much. We got to put Dove on it, bro. I think you make too much. We too rich over here.
That's why Al's got the outfit, bro.
Dove found a way.
Dove definitely found a way to get that stimmy.
Did you get that stimmy?
You know it.
Got him, son.
I'm charging you for the pool house this month.
You're going directly to me.
That's why Al's got the outfit, bro. He's trying to look like he deserves it.
Yeah.
Trying to look like a contractor or some shit.
I'm doing labor.
I'm trying to fucking chop off-
I don't know what this outfit is, Al.
I love it.
But can you-
What is the deal with the upside down goggles?
Like, what's the whole thing about?
It's a 90s rap thing.
When you're not home, you can dress in costume every single day.
Oh, so this is a costume.
We're acknowledging-
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is Miami.
I would never dress like this.
Son, the hoodie to the shoes, they all match.
Like, everything's fine until you go to the goggles yeah but the goggles because i ride a
scooter and so i just bought these and i was like oh shit i got a little yellow in it let's just
rock it okay so you built a whole outfit out of it it's the more money more problems look
yeah talking about outfits do you have another shirt nope
oh my god bro i'm out yo this guy got two shirts bro
yo they said they're coming for you on jeans too they're like yo akash got two pairs of jeans
i got a black and a blue and one shirt yeah and the comments are wearing thin on the shoes too
at first everyone's like at first everyone's like yo the shoes are fire that's all i got
i under packed yo he's leaning in back You went back twice. You went back twice.
You couldn't pick one shirt to bring back?
So you couldn't order a shirt from Amazon?
Yeah.
You've worn this shirt for 60% of the episodes we've done since you're down here.
People think it's a rerun every time.
Like, I'm not going to watch it.
Yeah.
They probably think it's a fucking rerun.
It's killing the numbers, Oscar.
If I didn't dress so goddamn stupid, they wouldn't even turn into this part.
I know.
I got new jeans coming.
I'm waiting on new jeans.
Is that the same undershirt, too? No, no, no. i bought new undershirts that's the only purchase you like a lego character
you just built with the shirt i think you got one outfit for life only purchases i made are
underwear and socks and then the rest really it's a shame because he's looking good like oh
i saw him walking in the gym the other day bro he's got some muscle I saw him walking to the gym the other day, bro. He's got some muscle, bro. I saw him at the gym today, too.
He got the biceps.
Yo, honestly,
your face is looking slimmer.
I'm at the gym too much
to buy new clothes.
Oh, yeah.
Nah, nah, nah.
Put your wife on that shit, bro.
Yeah, you right.
Come on.
Don't take that shit, man.
The fans still shame
this motherfucker
out of wearing shorts.
Oh, that's a good point.
Wow.
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
Do I have my fit?
Do I have my fit here? Oh, wait. What's going on? Shamed you. He's up good point. Wow. That's a good point. That's a good point. To wear a long pants fit. Do I have my fit? Do I have my fit here?
Oh, wait.
What's going on?
Hold on. I shamed you.
Oh, no.
He's up to something.
Look how mischievous he looks.
Oh, he's up to something.
Y'all keep talking.
Oh, he's up to something.
You thought you shamed me.
Uh-oh.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
I got you.
Andrew's got a little something for you.
Give him a play-by-play.
Give him a play-by-play.
Okay.
Andrew, you acting like you still didn't.
You chose not to wear it. Yeah. Why you hide it? Uh-huh. Andrew, you acting like you still didn't. You chose not to wear it.
Yeah.
Why you hide it?
Uh-huh.
Oh, you can't even find it.
Yeah.
And you notice he got more pale, right?
He used to be super tan, bro.
He used to be super tan.
Yeah, what happened to the tan, yo?
I don't know.
He went to Columbus for the weekend.
Yeah.
I think it started to fade off a little bit.
That's when he did that chemical peel and shit.
Yo, he is frantically searching.
He put on eyebrows and shit like that.
Convenient.
I went out of my way to get this.
Just take the pants off and it'll look the same as it does.
Who cares?
What are you talking about?
No, I got something fire for your asses.
I thought I had it with me today, but maybe it's back at the crib.
Damn, man.
Anyway, so what else?
We got this Kirk Franklin situation.
Oh, yeah.
I want to watch the video.
Play it.
So Kirk Franklin, I don't know if you guys know who he is.
I don't know who he is.
He is a legendary Christian...
What is it?
Gospel?
Gospel is called?
He's like a rapper singer.
Christian rapper?
Yeah.
He's kind of lit.
Jesus rapper?
Yeah, he looks like plies a bit.
This is the apology, I believe.
But no, I want to see the video.
So basically, his son exposed a video...
I'd send it to you.
...of him cursing him out.
Why was he cursing his son out?
There's no context.
Obviously,
the kid is just going to post
the part where his dad
is cussing him out.
Okay.
If you think I'm racist,
if I don't understand,
like this.
When your bitch ass
starts getting some shit
that's disrespectful,
you need to get your
skinny motherfucking ass
back out the goddamn way
before I put my foot in your ass because I dare you. I dare you. I dare it.
He just hung up the phone.
All right.
I mean, I got to know the context.
I think you're allowed to curse out your kids.
I hate this kid doing this, man.
Why can't you curse out your kids?
You can.
Why is this bad?
Because he's normal in the black.
Kirk Franklin.
That's what I was going to say. Kirk Franklin. He's a black singer's a black singer he's not his fan base is not white enough to care about
this yeah you got a black fan base they're gonna hear this and be like i don't give a fuck yeah
yeah that's a regular phone call yeah yeah but is he not allowed because he's religious is that
the idea that's what it is so what is he supposed to do what are religious people supposed to do in
that situation where their kid does something annoying where you want to put your foot up their asshole.
I think you just hit him.
Growing up in the Christian South, you get whipped.
You don't cuss while you're doing it.
Yeah, so you're allowed to do that.
It doesn't say that you're not allowed.
Fuck his son.
How dare you?
Fuck you.
How dare you record?
Bitch ass motherfucker.
I hate that son, yo.
Yeah, this is what's happened to Alec Baldwin, right?
What happened with Alec Baldwin?
Oh, no, was that Mel Gibson?
He was cussing out his daughter, and his daughter exposed him, recorded him.
No, that was his wife, son.
Yeah, but he called his six-year-old daughter a greedy little pig.
The whole girl was like, sick.
What?
Do we have a double standard, though?
Hold on one second, because that is hilarious.
He called his six-year-old
daughter a greedy little pig like early 2000s we're talking now we don't need that 2007 something
like that we're gonna need that video bro i don't understand why you can't be upset at your kids
and mel gibson was not very defensible but this yeah this shit i defend this and i defend it
you're a greedy little pig yo yeah maybe but like i just don't understand
why people are up in arms is it because he's is because he's uh what is it called proselytizing
all the time yes so it's like so is so because he's saying he's pushing the gospel he's supposed
to act that way in his life is that a christisy? Yeah, I suppose a cuss. A Christian who walks in, I guess, whatever,
walks in the faith
or whatever the term is,
you wouldn't cuss.
Oh, so it's just the curse words?
It's the curse words.
It's not about the violence.
That's what's funny.
This is the Alec Baldwin
phone call from Doug.
I want to tell you something, okay?
And I want to leave a message
for you right now
because, again, it's 1030
here in New York on a Wednesday.
And once again,
I've made an ass of myself
trying to get you a phone to call you at a specific time.
When the time comes for me to make the phone call,
I stop whatever I'm doing,
and I go when I make that phone call
at 11 o'clock in the morning in New York,
and if you don't pick up the phone at 10 o'clock at night,
and you don't even have that goddamn phone turned on, I want you to know something, okay?
I'm tired of playing this game with you.
I'm leaving this message with you to tell you, you have insulted me for the last time.
You have insulted me.
Is this Justin Bieber's wife that he's talking about?
No.
Oh, that's Stephen Baldwin.
I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old or that you're a child or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned.
You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone.
And when I come out there next week, I'm going to fly out there for the day just to straighten you out
on this issue. I'm going to let you
know just how disappointed in you
I am and how angry I am
with you that you've done this to me again.
You've made me
Do any of y'all know what he did?
Or she did to him?
She wasn't answering his calls, right?
That's it? That's what he's saying.
I'm tired of you
turning your phone off that's what seems to be it okay she was 11 yeah but answer your fucking
phone like i get that frustration sometimes i'll text mark three times that i need some shit he
don't pick up his fucking phone that's what that message i want to leave well i'm not a thoughtless
little pig you are a thoughtless little pig yeah you are i'm a thoughtful little pig no so here's
the thing i don't understand about this obviously it's bitch ass of the kids to expose their
parents that's some fuck shit right i'm annoyed about that but being upset at your kids is so
regular like why are we acting like this is wrong that's a good point you never had your parents
yell at you that's a you've been yelled at have you not oh yeah like badly or no what's the worst thing your parents ever did to you oh
yell that let's go i don't remember my dad yelled at me one time and he used some village hindi that
i swear to god i've never heard him use again what does that what it means grab the machete
so it makes it real i don't remember i was just like what the fuck is he speaking to me right now i know
hindi this is i've never heard before and i never heard it again he was fucking livid wow that's it
that's the most i got yelled at but that's it nothing crazy nothing crazy what'd you do to
deserve it though right y'all never got yelled at son yeah like what was it i mean like i had my
mom probably did crazy my parents had a whole other person's birthday on my birthday once.
And when I complained about it, yelled at me.
Wait, wait.
Some bitch.
One of their friends, one of my mom's friends, bitch.
Wait, was she a kid?
Whole adult bitch.
I literally said to them, I'm walking with my dad.
I'm having like a tiff about this.
I was mad young when birthdays mattered.
And I was walking with my dad. And I said, I was like's not weird i remember exactly where i was aster aster plays in broadway
i was like yo it's not weird that you're having someone else's birthday on my birthday and then
my dad was like and my dad's the most like easygoing about everything he goes i had enough
of this we're not talking about this anymore stop being spoiled spoiled. And I'm like, spoiled? I can't have my birthday on my birthday?
You got some other bitch?
Mom's friends?
An old ass bitch. This makes so
much sense. Trauma.
Every year it comes by. He's like,
I don't like doing anything for my birthday.
I don't want to do anything for my birthday.
That's a good point.
I've been scarred.
I've been scarred and abused.
Where's Chris Hansen when you need him? But this whole story is about your parents I'm both. I've been scarred. I've been scarred and abused. I'm sorry.
Where's Chris Hansen when you need him?
But this whole story is about your parents yelling at you, and his dad called him spoiled.
Yeah.
His dad said, I've had enough.
It's about what he did. That's how you got yelled at, you sensitive-ass bitch?
They celebrated some bitch's birthday in my house.
They were singing happy birthday to not me on my birthday while i sat in my room watching
the spice channel you don't get enough attention the other 364 days a year yeah
no that's that really is like that's that is worse than raping your kids
the real talk that is terrifying dude i remember exactly what it was. Happy birthday, dear Katrina.
Fuck you, bitch.
That's your Katrina.
That shit was my Katrina.
The way that came in and destroyed my household.
Let me tell you something.
George Bush don't care about white people either.
Let's go.
He's in a flyover for your birthday just looking at it.
Oh, that's Andrew's birthday.
They didn't even do a happy birthday to you both.
They knew I was in the house.
I was too young to leave.
It was as if they were teasing me.
They were taunting me.
Happy birthday.
They got louder.
Katrina and no one else.
Nobody else could possibly want a birthday.
I side with your parents completely.
Dealing with you,
they do that shit on purpose.
That's why my dad fakes his memory loss.
Because I'll be bringing that shit up
and he'll be like,
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'll be like, oh, convenient.
Oh, now we got Alzheimer's
when we got to remember
traumatic times of my childhood.
Yeah.
You never turned seven.
I never did.
Traumatic, this guy. Wait a minute, does that mean I'm 36? Oh. That's kind of cool. You got You never turned seven. I never did. Dramatic, this guy.
Wait a minute, does that mean I'm 36?
That's kind of cool. You can get years back, baby.
I'll take a year back.
Can we throw you a seventh birthday?
Yeah, we should throw me a seventh birthday, bro.
We're gonna do that. We're gonna do that.
I mean, it's unbelievable, bro. You're on some
Harry Potter shit, bro. I am on some Harry Potter shit.
And it was my mom's fault, bitch.
I don't blame my dad.
My dad was probably fighting for me.
My dad was probably out there like, nah, we shouldn't do it.
We shouldn't celebrate Katrina's birthday.
My mom was like, no, let's do it.
Yeah, make your own reality.
Yeah, we're making it.
Yeah.
All right, mom, I know what you're up to, mom.
Try me.
Disrespect your boy.
That's why whose birthday got forgotten this year?
Oops.
You know what I'm saying?
My mom all upset.
Yep.
Let me ask you this.
You didn't say it, Mark.
Uh-huh.
I don't know where you-
Scoreboard.
Scoreboard, Mom.
Scoreboard, Mom.
My mom got scoreboard.
February 23rd came around, not a single phone call.
Oh, my.
That's just Tuesday.
Yeah.
It is just Tuesday. And the 27th came around and
she was a little upset got your mom's birthday yo hey you're a piece of shit oh everyone's got
alzheimer's that's alzheimer's bro that's alzheimer's what an animal dog hey listen animal
shit gets forgotten sometimes it's not like i was wishing happy birthday to someone else in her fucking presence son i got locked
under a staircase while they sung happy birthday harry potter yeah letters flying in all the time
i didn't have a staircase in my apartment in new york but still i really colored up the story
so let me ask you this though where's katrina now i don't. I hope Corona took her lungs.
So she can't blow out her own candle?
That's the last deep breath you took.
Katrina's looking at you now jealous.
Yeah, she probably is, bro. So all I gotta say is, you know,
you gotta understand the frustration that these people
go through.
Alright, Alec Baldwin
had a difficult life.
You know what's funny?
This started as,
I defend these guys.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We're editing.
We're editing that.
We're editing.
You're the Skip Bayless of this podcast.
Happy birthday.
Yo, you know what you are?
You're a thoughtless little pig.
That's what you are.
Hey, how'd you say that to me, bro?
How'd you forget your mom's birthday, bro?
Yo.
You want to know who a thoughtless little pig is?
I'll tell you who a thoughtless little pig is.
Go ahead.
Mom would forget somebody's birthday.
Yo, we got to heal Andrew right now.
I need to get healed.
I think we got gotta call my mom
call ayamla what's that bitch that fake healing bitch ayana hersey ali they want muslim to haze
muslim who ayana hersey ali you talking about my hersela ali the guy that was in rami no ayana
hersey ali or some shit she like african ethiopian chick or something you don't say yeah you know but uh
yeah she and she was just on uh rogan she hates uh well she don't hate muslims she's like a
activist or some shit mark what you eating bro i'm about to give you a happy birthday cupcake
oh no dude those are those old ones that are full of like a little week that should been sitting there for a month and a half. Put that away. I'm going to get it. Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday
to you.
Happy birthday
dear
Andrew.
Happy birthday
to you.
Just Andrew and no one else.
Yo, we're throwing you.
Thank you. I'm going to be honest with you guys thank you man no that shit felt good now make a wish you thoughtless little pig
we're doing a disney world birthday for him when you're in orlando
yeah no we did that yo you know whose birthday it is this week? Who? Alex Medias. Oh, shit.
Turning 38.
Fuck off.
Stop dressing like the way you dress.
You hate it. I am hate it.
I am hate it. I do not like it.
But all the colors go, so it is what it is.
What did you say he looked like?
I don't remember.
Come on, Akash.
I was setting him up. Oh, Method Man man and how high that's what i said oh
classic movie i'm trying to figure out what you look like no money more problems
they did the goggle let's go dub no seth green remember
he was going good and then
can't hardly wait yes not people like what other things does he look
like that aren't human son oh he looks like power line from a goofy movie what's that remember like
the pop star in a goofy movie you guys are just bombing right just just silent i'm gonna come out
yeah i know just nowhere i'm gonna come out. Right now, the vibe isn't right for it because the defense is on.
You got your balls up.
You caught me with dirt.
Oh, yeah.
You swung one at him, bro.
That shit came out of nowhere.
I'm like, eh, eh.
You were like one of Chris Hansen's victims.
You made him have a seat.
Chris Hansen's victim?
Chris didn't know what to do, bro. He hasn't hung out with that many black people before so you started clowning out his outfit and he was like what what's wrong he's
dressed quite well what are we doing totally fine there's nothing wrong with that we're also
referencing an interview that we don't know uh is in the beginning of this episode so uh you'll
get to it eventually if it's not there and if it is hey you know that was also how you started
this episode to be fair i did yeah fuck you might have to cut that shit what's up everybody welcome
all right boom bang bing what else we got man uh see stacy dash apologizing for her fuck that bitch
yo useless ass bitch i hate that shit i know now you're trying to switch teams because you lost oh
no i just hate girls that used to be hot that aren't they're still talking they're still talking yeah those are annoying
is that like when you're hot for a living and then you're no longer like when you're hot for
a living and that's just what you were like you didn't try to do anything else besides to be hot
for a living yeah and then when that's over you try to transition to some other shit. It's kind of pointless.
Like, stop it.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like, you did the least amount of work for attention.
And now you're like, I still need the attention.
It's like, well, you should have put some work in back then.
I'm wrong?
Yeah.
No, I was just thinking, is it that much more annoying than when hot girls talk?
Yo, hot girls, I love when hot girls talk.
Like politically?
Keep it talking, yo.
Like politically?
What do you mean? Politics, whatever you want to talk about talk what do you mean i like it when they talk what
if it's not intelligent what they're still funny they're just talking like you know they don't
know that this is boring it's fun it's always fun when they talk if they're talking it's
interesting it's interesting they're talking it's dumb they're like they don't know this is dumb
it's amazing it's always good when they talk that's why we listen and then that's why they talk because we listen this is
the world nah we just listen because they're hot that's what that's what i'm saying but it's like
i'm not taking in or laughing because i'm just not taking it in like it it would be the same
as if i watched it on mute al you have done so much crazy shit to get pussy you have definitely
laughed at a hot girl get out of here You wore big hats and fucking dreads.
You stepped on a fucking platform at a club.
You read a manual.
You read a manual to get ass.
Get the fuck out of here.
Al wins this one.
This is yours.
Get the fuck out of here.
Al's like, you had a fucking peacock hat.
And you're like, you tiptoed.
You stood on tiptoes.
No, that's the same that's how is it
different yeah this looks more ridiculous he made himself taller this way he made himself taller
this way yeah you push the ground down bro this is more ridiculous what's more ridiculous the
hat in the book and the lifestyle i don't understand why that's ridiculous you're gonna
get a manual from somewhere you're gonna watch your puerto rican brethren sexually harass women on the street and learn that way.
Fire.
That's fire.
That's how I learned initially.
That's fire.
And then I learned a better way.
Wear stupid outfits and then the women harass you.
Yeah, he's tight.
Do you think I'm doing?
This motherfucker want all the attention.
He's just mad you got a cheat code.
That's what it is.
Yo, you got to do it. Do the cheat codes. Yeah. Nah, but it's like I'm got a cheat code that's what it is yo you gotta do it do the cheat codes
yeah nah but it's like i'm sure the cheat code worked great but some of the l's you take in the
beginning that's where you learn oh yeah i took some brutal l's what's the most what's the most
brutal way you got rejected by a girl too many times you remember like a distinct one like real
bad i mean i just remember in the club like when you try to dance with them and they'll
like straight look at you to see if you're cute.
And then walk away.
Dude, it's like you're in an episode of Next.
Remember that show on MTV?
Yeah.
Next, where the girls could just go next and then you're fucking done.
Like you signed the waiver, you got the permission and everything, and they looked at your face
and then you were over.
And that happens at the fucking club yo one time in high school i was at a party and this girl came
by and i was like all right yeah i'll be like cute and fun that was kind of my angle i would
just be like the cute flirty guy yeah and she had money in her hand and she was kind of drunk and so
i like gave her a hug and i was like oh i'm gonna take the money like oh thanks for the five bucks
yeah and then i took it out of her hand and she didn't realize that i took it out of her hand
and then she saw me with the money and then looked at me
and goes did you just steal my money and i was like no i was trying to be funny like i took it
as a joke like you saw me take it she goes no you just took that in my pocket and i was like no i
didn't and she starts yelling at everyone in the whole house and all these guys come over and
they're like yo why'd you steal her money and i was like i didn't i was doing the joke to try to
be nice and then they all got pissed me i had to leave no you know it's crazy mark told us that whole story as if we don't know
he's homeschooled doesn't matter my sister okay you took your cousin's money why does that matter
why does it matter okay it was five bucks okay i try to be friendly sorry sorry i'm friendly
your story that's his cousin that he's hitting on.
That's the Florida shit right there.
That's the Florida shit.
The Florida boy.
They kicked you out the party, though?
Yeah, they were kind of just like, yo, did you steal her money?
And I was holding her money.
No, you did steal it because you have to give it right back after the joke.
You were holding it for a minute.
No, she noticed as soon as I came out of the hug.
And she was like, yo, why do you have it? And I didn't have an answer. an answer i was like for for funny and she's like why is that funny to steal my money and i was like when you say it that way
it's not really funny yeah it's not funny but it's kind of cool it gets the conversation going
so then i had to leave yeah that's it what was her name i actually don't remember her name katrina
yeah it's probably katrina katrina i'm katrina bro all right what about you akash oh man so many so many i've been the ugly friend
where like we were at a club and then a girl danced wanted to dance with my homie so then
the other friend was like all right man i'll dance with this motherfucker and i'm just here
pretending i have to dance with her from my homie but i know i just got rejected by this bitch and
we got to still dance it was the most disheartening.
Just fucking sitting there for one song.
Like you told me I'm ugly and I still have to dance on you for four and a half minutes.
What the fuck is this?
She looked at me like,
like,
no,
you could.
She was not vocal,
but you could see the look,
you know,
and you see the look like,
fine. All right. Like a make-a-wish
like exactly like a make-a-wish i'm the favor you know what i mean and i still gotta dance with you
oh bro bro i remember once i liked this girl um that worked at the grocery store you know my folks
had a little beach house right there's one store in the whole fucking community there's only one
store it's the grocery store right it's the only way you can get anything.
And I like this girl, right?
And she was not feeling it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I was low-key.
I'd be walking around with my shirt off when I'm young as fuck, probably 12, 13, flexing
the abs.
It's not there.
No pecs.
No pecs, nothing.
But like the abs low, kind of there, whatever.
I was really into it, not feeling it.
And then she ends up hooking up with my boy.
And she knew that I wanted it. I was really into it, not feeling it, and then she ends up hooking up with my boy. Ooh.
And she knew that I wanted it, and then she ended up hooking up with my boy.
This Katrina-ass bitch.
This Katrina-ass bitch.
And I had to see her and check out with items for a whole summer.
For a whole summer, just watching her look at my loser ass.
Nah, that's where you flex, bro.
Nah, you get the Magnum condoms.
You go, yeah, bring it up, bitch.
Could have been you.
Yeah, bring it up.
But I guess it's me.
I'll jerk off into these condoms all night.
So that shit was brutal, bro.
Fucking walking up to the counter,
just slamming your shit down.
Yo, you don't got self-checkout
in this whole fucking shitty-ass grocery store?
Making her do mad extra work. I'll take a bag. Yeah. Oh, you don't got self-checkout in this whole fucking shitty ass grocery store? Making her do mad extra work.
I'll take a bag.
Yeah.
And a plastic bag.
Double bag that shit.
Yeah, you don't need her, bro.
Yeah, you're right.
I did fine.
If you're single, though, and you can learn to laugh at yourself when you get rejected
hard, then you're liberated.
You're free.
Bro, those guys were the greatest, man.
My boy, Siddiqu sadiki was a fucking legend
bro yeah do you ever meet sadiki the best you met sadiki yeah so sadiki was an absolute legend this
guy would hit on anything walking jamaican shouts to jamaicans and anything walking and he was he
had a pretty good success rate but when it didn't go his way it meant nothing yeah absolutely nothing
hilarious wasn't even angry about it it would
be more heartbreaking to him to not hit on the girl than get rejected like that would hurt his
soul more he'd be like man i should have fucking told you would stay awake at night bro he would
be furious at me like i'm talking to him like man why the fuck you need to finish that conversation
i should have got rejected by that girl and i feel better right now but that guy had it down man you said some shit one time that i remember always it's like the
moment you are immune to rejection you're a superhero superhero that's what worked for me
yeah yeah double hit on anything but he does it in the hot anything hot please but he'll yeah
anything hot you have standards but uh he does this thing that's so funny when he hits on girls
this is how he hits on every single girl he goes like this like they walk by or something like that and he goes he goes hi he puts his hand
out like this right he goes like this he goes he goes hi it's one of a thousand no no this is always
the move like this and it confuses them for a moment where they're like is he gay like what's
going on and then he just goes in and starts laying it on. But he gets in.
They think there's a sale. That's like when Andrew would wear the top hat.
You just need a signal.
You need a thing.
You're right.
There's a fish.
Gay in a top hat.
That's two different things.
That's two angles.
That's gay.
That's Abraham Lincoln.
I like to work hard.
I like to dig myself out of that.
So you can't hit all black girls with a top hat.
See what I mean?
Like that?
Remember that?
This guy?
That's why we can eat here together.
That's kind of smart, actually.
That's a good ass point.
You got to dress like the savior.
Yeah.
If you want Indian chicks,
how do you dress?
Whatever your parents tell you to wear.
No, I'm talking about not Indian.
I was going to say Gandhi.
Gandhi.
You know what I'm saying?
Okay, I see you now. Right? I was in my say Gandhi. Gandhi. You know what I'm saying? Okay, I see you now.
Right?
I was in my head about that Patrice bit about hitting on black women.
And he's just like, you can't be like, how you doing to a black woman?
If you say, how you doing to a black woman, she'll call you a f***.
How you doing?
Get out of here with that old hack of that shit.
How you doing?
I'm supposed to take my panties off now?
It's so good dude dove biggest
rejection you ever had yeah so i really loved this girl for years through high school tried
everything was friend zone take her to clubs we danced she would tease the whole thing she ends
up going to uc santa barbara with me and then i brought her out to a party and i was like i'm
gonna make my move this time and then she met fucking andrew and then that happened and i'm
like this is not true bro this is not true this is not true i did strike it down i did split it
open a 100 but i did that for you wow that's fucked up thank you i did that that's like your
homie who fucked with the supermarket he kind of didn't do anything he was getting spiteful that's fucked up thank you I did that for you that's like your homie who fucked with the supermarket he kind of didn't
do anything
he was getting spiteful
that's childhood trauma
he was trying to get even
that's motherfucking
motherfucker would be
not even paying for shit
at the grocery store
in my face
this bitch
would let him
get the free gum
and then charge me
for gum right afterwards
that's insult to injury
was she dissing you
like that
she was dissing me
like that bro
making me pull a whole quarter out my porch.
Scan your dick.
Oh, baby carrots.
Oh, weird.
This spiteful ass bitch.
But that's not fair because he had a girlfriend the whole time that he was in high school.
So he wasn't really.
You were protecting him.
I was protecting him.
No, it was when I was single.
And the girl had the fatty, bro.
White girl, fatty.
Oh, let's go.
The best.
The best.
She had it.
Out.
Out.
Oh, let's go.
You would have been proud.
I mean, this girl had the fatty.
Did she not?
Number one.
Number one.
Okay, I'll give a real one.
Wallyball.
Wagon, bro?
The covered wagon?
Bruh.
Bruh.
Oregon Trail?
Oregon Trail.
Let's go, baby. we're going west come on
it was going down your boy almost died of dysentery
it's a gold rush
okay but i'll give another one off of alex's that you have to be in your mid-30s of like when you
would go to these like just the clubs.
Girls would be, yeah, you got it.
Andrew has it.
Girls would dance facing each other.
And it was like where you would freak behind girls.
And so you actually would go up to girls that didn't even really look at you.
They're dancing.
You just kind of go behind them and go with the rhythm.
And you don't get rejected by them.
You were assaulting women.
Basically.
But you don't get rejected by them you're assaulting women basically but you don't get rejected by them you get rejected by the friend if the friend thinks you're you're hot
or you're good or you're dancing they'll give a signal right in front of your face but when they
reject you you're looking at the friend and the friend give the face of the rejection to that and
you're like oh hey just a little like hating they do that spin move and then move them away move
hey and bro i hate that hey but that was wild that
we could just dance like that i don't even think we wanted to dance like that no no we just thought
that that's how you have to get good at dancing like that yeah it was wild instant you like that
yeah i love that wait why yeah it was just good puerto rican if you were good it was like home
that was the best tinder in Tinder in person. Yeah. Ooh.
Yeah.
But it's Tinder if the friend has the phone.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And now it's just up behind the girl like, please.
You know what's the worst?
When you would make eye contact with a girl from kind of far away on the dance floor,
and then you thought that it was a yes, so you start dancing up to him, moving between people, and then you get there and this bitch was like, you thought wrong.
Yeah. Oh, I know that. That should be was like you thought wrong very wrong we're not dancing now you gotta slowly dance back to your friends
and then it takes long to get back to your friends you just got four of your friends just going
ah you got rejected what did you even look at like like now i've gotten the You just got four of your friends just going, ah! You got to reject that.
What did you even look at?
I think I've gotten the, I think I got the, like, nah, bro.
Like, shoo the way?
Come on now.
No.
Oh, that's fine.
That's a barnyard animal move.
I used to be tight when girls would say they had a boyfriend at the club.
Like, I have a boyfriend, and I'd be like, the fuck you doing here?
What the fuck are you doing here? What the fuck are you doing here?
I just meandered through everybody in the whole club.
She lying every time.
You used to be in New York, son.
Son, I was, I'd be tight.
I used to be in New York.
Your boy's Miami right now.
How many boyfriend you have?
Just one?
Just one boyfriend?
I'll come back with the Latin answers, bro.
Dude, I used to have little comeback lines
when they would say that shit
I would say that
Like I have a boyfriend
And I was like
Oh you just got one
Oh that's pretty good
Hit him with the
Oh just because there's a goalie
Doesn't mean you can't score
Ayyy
I've never said that
What?
That sounded creepy
That's why I've never said it
That was charming
That was alarming
Nah he's the goalie bro
Nah you know what it is It's similar to stand-up like the the audience if they heckle whatever is only
going to say a certain amount of things that are all kind of the same so like when you're getting
rejected yeah girls are going to say the same things like oh i can't talk or oh i gotta go i'm
on my way to work there's like 10 things that they're going to say universally so you hear
them enough and then you eventually start to develop pick-up lines.
I remember when we would ask people to come, beg people to come into comedy shows.
There'd be the same lines that they would say.
I'm already a comedian.
This guy's already, that was always the one.
What's that?
This guy's already a comedian.
I'm already funny.
I'm already a comedian.
What would your line to that be?
Go fuck yourself.
Different approach.
That's effective.
That's awesome.
I just found that answer so upsetting
that's the only one i remember this will sound obvious if a girl says i have a boyfriend i
literally would say me too and i would play off of that i'm telling you bro you why are you saying
me too bro trust me if it was just a line he goes gay look you go because a lot of them if they were
bullshitting you can figure out if
they really had a boyfriend it buys you more time if they actually react in a funny way to it okay
trust me i feel like you would double down double down is he here also because some of them are
i would love to fuck him is he i would is he around
i used to always ask if the boyfriend was indian and if he was i would not do anything this was
like a rule I had.
And if he wasn't, I was like, let's go.
I don't give a fuck.
And then I would tell them, I would say, I'm sure he can make you happy.
I can make you and your parents happy.
And that was my response every time.
There's one like if it was during the day or something like that.
And the girl would be like, oh, I can't.
I'm going to work right now.
And there'd be two ways that I would go about it.
One, I'd be like, oh, you got a job?
Because then they're like, wait, wait, yeah.
Aren't you supposed to have a job?
Or it was like, oh, come on.
You're too pretty to have a job.
Oh, that's a good one.
And then they just giggle.
Yeah.
But then you just have to follow them down the street.
You know what's crazy?
That was completely normalized.
Like just following a girl while talking to them.
That was normal back then.
Up to like, how long do you think it was okay before you realized like,
okay, this is probably one quarter of a city block.
One quarter of a city block.
Not Avenue, regular city block
one quarter was reasonable hey let me tell you something you pussy you pussy
you lazy ass bitch how you go it sounds so crazy that's two numbers that's two buildings that's
also a new york thing okay it sounds so crazy but here's the thing in most cases it was probably absolutely crazy but you have to understand for women in new
york it's so fucking difficult just to walk it's not now it's probably way different because people
on tinder and like everybody's terrified like all these young kids are terrified to meet a girl in
person but when that's the only way that you can meet girls in person girls will get hit on all
the time walking down the street like headphones were made to not get hit on you know what i mean like when they started making
headphones real small girls like no no no no like give me the biggest headphones give me the beats
yeah you know oh yeah that was the best possible way to not get hit on so there was a little bit
of a knee-jerk reaction i think from girls when you walked up the knee-jerk reaction
was i don't want anybody talking to me yeah and if you got past that then maybe they were like okay
i'm open to this so it sounds weird to go you gotta kind of you know use some charisma to get
past that initial block but i bet 90 of the guys that tried to do that were wrong yeah but that was
normal yeah completely back to new
york though because if you grew up in a place where people aren't walking yeah like the idea
of following a girl that's walking you'd only see her in like your neighborhood or some shit yeah
you know like hound some chick in your neighborhood but in new york it's totally different it sounds
crazy describing it it's but i cannot tell you how many numbers even if it was going well she's
still walking so then you're just kind of walking together. Then you get your,
her number the next block.
But that sounds ridiculous.
Like if a girl's moving in a direction and you're just going in that same
direction,
you're following a girl down the street.
Yeah.
But this was completely normal and would work.
Isn't that nuts?
I never did the train hit on.
Did you?
I never hit on a girl in an enclosed space.
Because they don't have, in my mind, I'm like, they should have the free will to just do whatever the fuck they want.
Like, I've never hit on a girl in a gym.
I never hit on a girl at work.
I never hit on a girl in a place where they can't just leave.
Right.
Because my feeling is like, if we're just outside, we're walking down the street, or we're at like a bar, you just go to a different place.
Go to a different part of the bar.
Other people around.
Yeah, whatever.
But going up to a girl in the subway or going up to a girl in a gym, now it's uncomfortable
for her the fucking whole time in a gym.
No, it's uncomfortable for you when you get rejected in the subway, and then you just
have to stay in that same fucking car.
That's why I didn't do it.
And soak in that shit.
I just got to sit in the car and be rejected?
That was worse.
I don't get rejected, bro.
I just continue doing
some sort of performance.
I just sing mariachi music
or something.
I do break dancing.
You're like hanging on the pole?
Yeah, motherfucker says,
Showtime!
Ladies and gentlemen!
No, but you're 100% right.
Getting rejected
and having to sit there
in front of everybody
is wild, bro.
That's why I'll never do one of them fucking uh what is it called um cruise ship comedy shows bro i heard a joke i don't know whose joke it was maybe it was ray
or something he was telling me about bombing on a cruise ship that like the hallways are so skinny
on a cruise ship that people can't pass each other like this they have to pass each
other sliding by face to face so he would bomb right and then have to walk by he would shimmy
by the crowd nose to nose oh my god and just hearing that story i'm like i'll never perform
a comedy on a ship ever it's not worth it bro you gotta you gotta take that ship down with you if i'm bombing we all sinking yo that's
the crazy thing though about your guys generation growing up and hitting on girls without cell
phones like nowadays you like go to a girl we have cell phones bro we're not that old but nah
like iphone what no iphone iphone i'm saying like blackberry a girl like like rejects you you look at your
phone you're like oh yeah i'm getting a text like you have a diversion but like if you got
rejected you just had to like stand there you're talking about like oh you didn't have anything to
look at yeah like you just go what we look at afterwards yeah we look at our friends laughing
at us yeah that's why we have way thicker skin okay every time you got rejected it was in front
of your friends yeah i don't think i even hit on girls outside of my friends being there yeah like that'd be weird you're just gonna
hit on a girl alone i was alone the whole time no you just with your boys sometimes if the girl's
bad you would hit her it would be bruh i don't know i used to feel it was performance art i used
to get upset like say if i'm with my friends and I miss the ass that walked by.
Because, you know, we all turn to look at the ass.
But if I miss the chance to look at that ass, it's like I missed out on a day.
See, I'd be all insecure that the other women that were walking the same direction down the street as the ass would see me turn around immediately.
So what I would do is I'd walk, like, two steps after the ass.
And then I'd act like i
miss my friend and i'd turn around and then i go like that and then i turn back oh yeah i gotta go
i'd make up a whole fake story so the other women that i'd never see again in the real world
wouldn't judge me for staring at the ass the mosquito bro what the fuck oh shit that was cool
nah but it was that important. You couldn't miss that.
You couldn't miss that.
It's a great moment when every guy in a circle just stops talking when a hot girl walks by.
Oh, yeah.
It's the best.
Bro, that would unite cultures, bro.
Like an ass walk by.
It'd be some Jamaican construction worker dude, some Polish guy cleaning windows, and
me, and we'd all see the ass coming.
All of us would be like, that's what we like.
Just high-fiving.
Nice.
God, man.
It's good the culture changed.
It's pretty good.
Just telling these stories now is a little terrifying.
So it's good.
Well, Doug never told us his rejection.
Say what?
He never told us his best rejection.
Oh, yeah, what was your rejection?
For real.
That wasn't your rejection, dude.
Yeah, that's just Andrew being a horrible friend.
In the club, those moments where-
He didn't tell me he liked the girl.
He had a girlfriend at the time, and he brought this thing around. You know he liked the girl. He had a girlfriend at the time.
And he brought this thing around.
Nah, bro. I'm going to trust your memory.
This is when I became single.
Sophomore year.
I was emotional. It was at the frat house.
It was this. You came to the party.
He knew. Did he know?
It was at his lowest moment, too.
I didn't step on it, bro.
Don't bring the sheep around the lion. don't bring the sheep around the lion.
Don't bring the sheep around the lion.
Your boy was out there.
She came through with it.
Sipping on my
Jew frat
free alcohol that he got.
I was upset about that.
In a Jewish fraternity.
That's Zion, bro.
At the temple.
I was there it, bro.
I was there.
I was there.
That's why.
I did that shit. You go to their party and take their baddest joint?
That's nice.
She wasn't Jewish, though.
He did it for me back then.
I did it to protect you.
To protect you.
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
What the fuck is this guy upset about?
Yeah.
Girl was out there.
Not chosen.
She was up, bro.
She had the spoiler on it.
Everything, dog.
Shit was beautiful
you were trying to mess with a goy like that bro yeah dude he's bad like that all right what else
we got this guy said the n-word because he was on diabetes he has some diabetes acting up bro did
you hear about this guy oh yeah yeah yeah oh yeah that shit is legendary oh yeah so the guys who
were um doing the commentary on this like uh high school
basketball girl high school basketball game is girls right yeah i think so like first of all
why is there even commentary on female basketball probably but they they're they're doing this game
and their mics were hot which anybody listening right now means their mics were left on
and they are kneeling for the anthem and he just drops the n-bomb on them right multiple times multiple times super racist and then he said it was my diabetes my diabetes was acting up
al do you believe it my sugar spiked he said his sugar spiked come on son hell no come on son
you never had that happen you get hung you're hungry you get angry yeah yes all right i don't get racist that we know but imagine if you had to
commentate women's high school basketball you'd probably say some angry things and your diabetes
and your diabetes was acting up bro i didn't say i didn't get sexist
so yeah why even pick that job that's what i'm saying like none of this makes sense bro yeah
like if you don't like black people you're probably not gonna commentate on basketball
maybe he feels like it's whiter because none of them can dunk i guess oh but still isn't that
weird yeah i don't understand it at all but going for the diabetes excuse might have been the most brilliant yeah that's like to me what that is is he's just going i'm racist yo like i am racist
if you say i ain't nothing i can do about it because i can't get rid of this diabetes so
diabetes not going anywhere so neither of these n-bombs really just stay away from me make sure
my you know stop saying the n-bomb feed me some chocolate yeah you know who did stop saying the n-word who you heard about papa john i was just gonna oh yeah hey my man
put in work he put in work how many months to get out of that was it 20 months 18 months 18 months
to get the n-word out of his vocabulary uh-huh i mean that guy put in work yo he put in effort man
can we give him back the pizza spot nah still nah he put in 18 months to get rid of the n-word
son so that's 18 months of n-words that he was dropping no he was getting rid of it yeah but
if it took 18 months that means he kept fucking up during those 18 he was weaning himself off yeah
it's like one of those patches i'm not you know it might be racist what did papa john's give you
in addition to pizza breadsticks garlic butter garlic butter
who struggles with hypertension racially speaking more than any other group he's killing my people
black people that was a ploy my man has been trying to he's been trying to get rid of y'all
on the low who has the least papas yeah he says oh i'm gonna be your papa and then i'm gonna kill
you with garlic now al he love bombed you yeah and then I'm going to kill you with garlic knots. Al, he love-bombed you.
Yeah.
And then he garlic buttered you.
We're saying he's fucked up.
We're on your side, Al.
Oh, my God, yo.
Fuck that guy, man.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because you need to step up your
style a little bit, okay?
And fellas especially, a watch is the really only acceptable form of jewelry.
I mean, I have a necklace on right now that has a penguin on it.
And even saying that, I feel uncomfortable.
So a watch is the only acceptable form of male jewelry.
I think universally accepted.
It don't matter which community it is.
Every single male community will go, yeah, you could do a watch.
A watch is fine.
That's the flex.
Grown-up flex.
Grown-up flex.
Shows you got some shit going on.
You're not using it to tell the time.
You're using it to set a precedent.
You're a grown-ass man.
And how you going to do it?
You're going to do that with Vincero.
Okay?
Akash, tell them about Vincero.
Vincero watches basically, simply, best watch for the money you can get.
It's a quality watch that's not too expensive.
Go to VinceroCollective.com slash flagrant.
Okay?
I'm going to spell that because it's Italian-y.
V-I-N-C-E-R-O, then collective, which is C-O-L-L-E-C-T-I-V-E.com slash flagrant.
You're going to use the promo code flagrant.
You can get 15% off applied on the entire order.
Okay, they cover all shipping costs as well when you're using
that promo code flagrant.
I'm telling you,
you're going to go look
at these watches.
They've got a really cool thing
on the website
where you get to,
they can suggest watches
that suit your actual style.
So you can click on a picture
that shows a type of style
and you're like,
oh, I kind of dress like that guy
or I kind of dress like this guy.
I'm a business suit dude.
I'm more of like
a hype beast casual.
And then they'll suggest watches
that they believe go with those styles.
So it's really cool.
Go there, check out the watches.
I mean, check out the site, man.
And I think that you're really gonna like it, okay?
Vincero, V-I-N-C-E-R-O, collective.com slash flagrant.
Get that discount, get your life together.
Now let's get back to the show.
Anyway, what else we got?
Because we got to wrap this up.
Oh, Netflix, yo.
Oh, yeah.
Netflix cracking down on their passwords, yo.
Netflix not having it no more.
Yo, I'm not with this, yo.
But, okay, go.
Because this is what bothers me the most
is I know every other streaming platform
is going to crack down too.
Yeah.
Now we all just got to pay for everything.
We're going to pay more than we ever paid for cable.
Yeah. But here's the thing. They knew that this was going to happen because too. Yeah. Now we all just got to pay for everything. We're going to pay more than we ever paid for cable. Yeah.
But here's the thing.
They knew that this was going to happen
because eventually you run out of people who have TVs.
Yes.
So how do you increase subscribership
if there's no more fucking TVs on the planet?
Right?
You either give TVs to poor people
who can't afford Netflix anyway,
or you cut down on sharing shit.
And they could literally double their subscriptions. mean think of how many people are using their friends netflix
and they ain't gonna give up netflix no i guarantee you if they cut down that sharing
shit they double the number of people that are subscribed i don't even know what my queue is
like my queue is if so many people have my password i'm just like how the fuck did this get
so many times i'll see a movie or do you want to keep watching and i'm like i don't any number of people could
be watching this i got no clue i gave it to everybody no no you're bugging you got to create
the other profiles so they don't fuck up you i already have four dog i'm maxed out on profiles
but they're great drug dealers they gave the product out for free it out now you need it
and now pulling it away. 100%.
And you're going to pay that $15?
And they keep going up in price.
I think they're up to like
almost $17.
Yeah, I was paying $18.
That's going up.
But in our lifetime,
that's going to be $50.
Not even a lifetime.
In the next 10 years,
it'll be $50.
Yeah.
And it sucks
because I had just said,
I'm like, yo,
if they go above $20,
I'm cutting it
and I'm using somebody else's password
and now they just fucking took that from me. Son, don't you remember saying that about movie tickets? I, I'm like, yo, if they go above 20, I'm cutting it and I'm using somebody else's password and now they just fucking...
Son, don't you remember
saying that about movie tickets?
I remember I was like,
yo, once movie tickets...
I might have said this.
If movie tickets go over $10,
I'm not going no more.
Maybe it was either 10.
I think it was 10.
Movie tickets go over $10,
I'm not going anywhere.
That shit is at, what, 15?
This is how I know I'm old
because I remember movie tickets
being $3.25
and I was bringing that shit up. We sound like our parents. Yeah, that's what'm old. Cause I remember movie tickets being three 25 and bringing that shit up.
We sound like,
yeah,
that's what I'm already.
I remember movie tickets being a quarter and you got to hire you all for a
dime.
You know,
I'm doing that same shit now.
I remember three 25 movies.
So I never had this cause we're from New York,
but like probably where you're from,
little country bumpkin ass that you could go to a matinee.
Oh yeah. Like, yeah, I think we had that. Wait, you had matinees? Yeah. probably where you're from little country bumpkin ass that you could you could go to a matinee oh yeah
like
that's
yeah I think we had that
wait you had matinees
yeah
how'd you have matinees
what are you talking about
it's the first showing
before noon or some shit like that
I think they still have it
yeah
I think
I think you're just so not New York
that you don't know
what's going on in your own city
that was the most insulting thing
you said this whole podcast
that was spiteful bro
yeah why don't you get a new shirt
they're coming!
Nah, but when tickets prices started going up, then I
just started watching a second movie for free.
That was my way of getting back at them.
My mom taught me about that. Movie hopping?
My mom taught me how to movie hop, and I was such
a fucking square that I was like,
Mom, I don't think we should do this.
She was really wrong. I had to tell her that we
can't do it. She snuck us into
a fucking movie, man. It was amazing. She was like, take your top hat off, you her that we can't do it. She snuck us into a fucking movie, man.
It was amazing.
She's like, take your top hat off, you idiot.
We don't want to see Star Wars.
Bro, it was unbelievable.
Ballsy ass.
And the fucking hot dogs got like to $10.
I just started bringing in my own meals and shit like that.
I would come in with like whole ass.
Tupperware?
Tupperware, Chinese food, chopsticks, the whole nine.
I love it.
I went to a movie with Robbie and and casey and casey had every dog she opened up her purse just had full-ass meals for everybody oh you got it was
incredible it was incredible here's the thing i can't eat a meal in the dark what do you mean i
don't eat in the dark that's the screen right in the dark you could see really yeah i like the
reason i like the popcorn the reason I like the snacks
and that kind of stuff
is that it's just...
I know this is going to sound
absolutely retarded,
but I don't have to look at it.
I know what it tastes like.
I know if I'm eating a burger,
I know what it tastes like,
but I like to see what the bite is.
You're a visual eater.
A little bit.
If I'm eating some chicken and broccoli,
I put the fork in.
I don't know if I got chicken.
I don't know if I got broccoli.
I want to know what it is before it hits my fucking
mouth with popcorn i know it's popcorn hits my mouth i do not like eating in the dark valid what
about a restaurant with low lighting i'm kind of like my pops my pops would make the whole restaurant
turn the light up yeah when he got old he'd be like oh it's so dark and you can't see anything
in here can you turn on no we've got i pick with the restaurant movie that is a that is a jew thing too what do you mean just like making everybody else uncomfortable for you no no but
like jew that is a jewish thing it's a jewish new york thing to like ask the restaurant to change
certain things about the restaurant when you're in there like uh turn up the ac turn down the ac
like turn up the lights my dad is 100 wow He grew up on the east side of Manhattan.
It's going to rub off a little.
But he would tell the restaurant to turn up the lights.
Say what?
It must be nice.
If you all would tip a little bit, maybe you could do that kind of thing.
No, I overcompensate.
I know, but your people don't.
That's why he's wearing this jacket, bro, so he can see his food when he goes to the
dark restaurant.
Like, finally.
But yeah, you would never ask them to do that?
No, I've never asked for an adjustment.
Yeah, I would never do that.
It's their establishment.
I'm coming to your house and I'm going to ask you to change some shit.
Let me turn the light on a little bit so we can see what's going on over here.
Well, I mean, I've never been to a restaurant that was that low that it bothered me.
Like the light was that low.
Like remember when we went to Poppy Steak?
Yeah.
My dad would, one, he'd be like, it's kind of loud.
The guy from the fucking Gypsy Kings was singing. He'd be like it's kind of loud like the guy from the fucking gypsy kings
was singing he'd be like do we need to do no no i'm with that 100 i'm with that yeah that's where
i can't even hear myself think i'm saying like that all the time does it have to be so loud
my dad would say that line i can't even hear myself i know andrew and i sat next to two people
yesterday that were chopping up with the bartender from
Boston.
Too much.
They ended up walking out because they wouldn't make adjustments on their omelet.
Oh, yeah.
They wanted to make an adjustment on the omelet.
The restaurant wouldn't do it.
They left.
That's great.
Wait.
After they got the omelet?
No.
Before they ordered.
Before they ordered.
They ordered cocktails.
We sat at the bar just like morning cocktails, and they walked out.
Yeah.
It was great.
Not lovely Jewish couple.
Gotta respect it.
If I gotta be loud to talk to you and hear you,'m out i don't want it i want no parts of it
now do other jewish people hear that and they understand oh dude dove spotted him out fucking
truffled him oh and he was he was he was big like very transparent about it like he starts
a conversation and look within two minutes he goes what's your last name? He goes what's your last name? And he's like
Schwinkel or something like that, right?
Something like that.
It was actually close.
It was something like Schwinkel and then
he was like ah yeah, Jews.
And they did their little thing and he had his Jewish necklace
and then the wife goes
yeah, I'm actually not Jewish.
And then Dove could not have been less
interested in continuing that conversation.
Didn't look at her.
No, do you know what?
I just kept looking at him.
Yeah.
By the way, we went outside.
Andrew was going back home.
I had to go south to friends.
They drove me.
Of course they drove you.
Wait, what?
That's awful.
I knew it.
You got Jewish Uber, bro?
You got Juber?
You got Juber down south?
Because I wanted to get to know them better,
see like whatever.
They were just dropping these things.
It was like, they're new to Miami.
Wow.
It was like a bendy condo.
And I was just like, I like making friends.
Jews don't trust Uber.
That's why I had to do it, bro.
You think?
Yeah, German word, dude.
Son, yeah, come on.
Uber.
I'm not trusting that.
Last time Germans had control of a destination, that shit did not work out for them.
It was for you.
Uber bad for you guys.
That was Uber bad.
You're joking.
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