Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Conor McGregor Punches Trans Rapper
Episode Date: September 14, 2021Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Sin...gh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf
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What's up everybody? Welcome to Flager 2. It's your boy Schultz.
I'm here with Akash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, and the Truffle.
And I figured something out today that I've probably known for like a long time, Akash.
What's that?
I am a crazy person.
Like, I'm crazy.
That is my normal state.
This is news.
I can exercise myself to the point where I can masquerade as a normal person.
I think you're giving yourself a lot of credit there.
I don't think you masquerade as well as you think you do.
So I'm still crazy?
You're still crazy. Even now, in my current state? Right now, you're you do. So I'm still crazy? You're still crazy.
Even now, in my current state?
Right now, you're good.
That's what I'm saying.
You're a pibble.
It's a temporary good.
Yeah, you can snap at any moment.
Yeah, there it is. That's the words I'm looking for.
You can snap at any moment.
Queen Latifah's dog is dead.
She catches me on the wrong day.
You're correct.
Okay, but this is what I'm saying.
I got this crazy workout.
Shout out to my boxing trainer, Abdeen, which is my trainer, trainer Abdeen.
And I was destroyed.
I was crawling around the gym.
I just looked absolutely pathetic, but that's what I need.
You need that.
Yeah, I need that to calm this down.
And now I feel pretty calm.
Yeah, you're a hyper dog.
You need to get walked.
I need to be run.
You're like a fucking Labrador or like a greyhound.
You just need to get run. You need to be run. You're like a fucking Labrador or like a greyhound. You just need to get run.
You know what's interesting though?
We only say that with dogs because every other animal just does that.
Yeah, but they're not domesticated.
Nobody's like, you got to run the deer.
Yeah.
We've domesticated the dog, so now we got to make it be more of a dog so it can be normal.
Correct.
We've domesticated humans.
Yeah.
I'm supposed to be getting a little bit more activity.
Oh, yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm a Scottish kid, dude.
I'm supposed to be running around the highlands activity. Do you know what I mean? I'm a Scottish kid, dude. I'm supposed to be running around the highlands.
You need to be in the highlands.
You're a Scottish hound.
Exactly.
I'm supposed to be moving, shaking.
It's fucking grass.
It's mountains.
I'm swimming.
That's your biology.
That's my biology, okay?
But I'm put in this city where I'm walking around.
I'm on my electric.
Wearing pants and shit.
I'm wearing pants, dude.
It's crazy.
Yeah, you should be in a kilt hunting.
I should be fucking hunting in a kilt.
And you and Russell Westbrook should dress the same.
That's right.
I need to dress like Russell Westbrook.
Yes.
I'm not even going to bring up the cultural appropriation thing.
They think my culture is a joke.
It's not a joke.
Dude, black people think my fucking culture is a joke.
It's not a fashion piece.
It's not a-
Kanye, Russell.
It's not a trend to hop on.
This is not a fucking trend.
This is who we are.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't see you rocking it. Say what? I don't see you rocking it. Because I live in a trend to hop on. This is not a fucking trend. This is who we are. I mean, I don't see you rocking it.
Say what?
I don't see you rocking it.
Because I live in a black world, Alex.
Okay?
In order to be accepted, I have to adopt certain things so that people don't think I'm weird.
Like a free Britney shirt.
Like a free Britney shirt.
Very black.
Absolutely.
Who cares more about Britney?
Who cares more about a mentally ill white girl
than black men
shout out to Catch Me Outside
usually when we have somebody on our shirt
it's usually R.I.P.
but I'll give you that one
I'll give you that one
you've been trying to free people on shirts
when Lil Wayne was in prison
you've been trying to free people
so it's death or jail
death, jail? Death or jail.
You get a shirt.
Death, jail, sports.
I guess she was in jail.
Why would people just be putting live people on shirts?
This is white people's jail, though.
She was grounded for super long.
Grounded is very bad.
She was in her room, pissed off.
Her parents don't give her enough freedom.
I hate you, Dad.
It was angsty.
We're about to find out that that dad was a hero.
You think so?
She's 39 years old. She's about to marry this that that dad was a hero. You think so? She's 39 years old.
She's about to marry this 27-year-old guy that she's been with for five years.
Yeah.
Right?
So, like, and if she is bona fide crazy, like, if she actually is, and I hope she's not.
I'm an asshole.
I keep liking all her crazy posts because I just want to encourage the crazy.
She threw her cheeks up on the ground.
I don't even care.
That deserves a double tap. You know she's crazy because she was like, my ass is real. It her cheeks up on the ground. I don't even care.
That deserves a double tap.
You know she's crazy because she was like,
my ass is real.
It's like,
it's believable.
Ain't nobody down
that snorty.
Them honkers
might not be.
Remember when she got
honkers out of nowhere?
Out of nowhere?
I thought she'd been
had the honkers.
When we were young,
she got honkers
out of nowhere
and people were like,
I think Brittany
got breast implants.
And I was like,
no,
you just started watching her at 14, you fucking creep.
She didn't have titties yet.
Yeah, she was on the Mickey Mouse Club.
Like, what are we talking about?
Was she a Disney star?
Yeah.
Oh, I thought her sister was Disney.
Yeah, I thought it was only the sister.
No, I think they both were.
Yeah.
And Christina Aguilera.
I know Christina.
And JT.
And JT.
TRL.
TRL broke her, bro.
The greatest A&R in the game.
Carson Daly with the two fingernails painted.
Oh.
Legend.
I know he did that.
Yeah, he did that shit.
Yeah, he did a lot of weird shit.
She might have got breast implants, bro.
She may have.
But look, they worked out.
Yeah, man.
I don't know.
I just thought about that today.
There's a couple things I thought about that I want to get off my chest.
I want to talk to you guys about.
The other thing that I thought about, because I've been
diving into Rome a little bit, the Roman
Empire. I saw you tweet about this. I was wondering
where this came from. My mind was blown.
Because I'm starting to research the Roman Empire,
and you always hear about the things that
are happening in the big stadium. What the fuck was it
called? The Colosseum. The Colosseum. Okay.
Things are happening. I'm not even researching
that much, apparently, but all these things
happen in the Colosseum. The Barclays of Rome.
What is it called again?
Exactly.
And then they make, don't ever say the Barclays of Rome ever again.
The disrespect to the garden.
It wasn't that nice, bro.
The Colosseum wasn't that nice.
It's the only one there was.
It was open air.
You know what I mean?
If it was the Garden of Rome, it would be way nicer.
What do you want, a dome back there?
It's the year 27.
Also, people are getting massacred in the Colosseum.
Nick's getting massacred in the Garden.
Exactly. It makes sense. It makes sense. Way more massacres. So, yeah, people are getting massacred in the Colosseum. Nix getting massacred in the garden. Exactly.
It makes sense.
It makes sense.
Way more massacres.
So, yeah, the visitors were massacred, too.
Like, the animals would come in.
They were playing away games.
Tigers just mauling these fucking Romans.
Yeah, the Romans or the Nix.
So I'm looking up this Roman Empire, right?
And you always see this big thing,
and they make such a big deal about, like,
oh, they had these, like, waterways under there,
and they could have these ships floating
and all that other stuff,
and they make that seem like it's the biggest invention
that's ever happened in history.
It's pretty wild.
It's kind of wild, right?
It's kind of wild.
It's pretty wild.
It's impressive,
but let's just back up for one more second.
I got cousins don't got aqueducts now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, you're pathetic.
Your people are pathetic.
There's no question.
Cousins here in America, we smell them.
We're at the wedding.
No, no, they don't shower out of respect, man.
They can't rub the wealth in a home plant's face.
Solidarity.
That's their biology, bro.
God.
So, okay, so yes, obviously impressive for the time, the aqueducts, 100%.
But what I'm looking at these, and they make a big deal.
The ships, they make a big deal about the humans fighting the tigers and humans fighting these elephants and all the things that would happen inside the Coliseum.
And then I'm looking at these videos and it dawned on me.
I'm like, how the fuck did they get these animals to roam?
I'm going, you have a rhinoceros.
They had a rhinoceros.
This is one of the most dangerous animals
on the planet now.
2,000 years ago,
some Romans
transported a rhinoceros.
This is before I just shoot you
with some tranquilizer,
you pass out for a fucking month,
and then now you're in Rome.
Like this is what they do with King Kong, right?
They shoot him with the trank
to get the guy over there. And this is now in fake right back in the day and it's not like they had fucking
hummers or nothing like that you are hauling a rhinoceros an elephant tigers lions from other
parts of the world to rome that's the most fucking impressive thing i mean it's mind-boggling yeah this is how crazy it is they had at one point at
one festival 2 000 gladiators 70 lions 40 wild horses 30 elephants come on 30 leopards come on
20 wild donkeys 19 giraffes 10 10 antelopes 10 hyenas come on tiger one hippo and one rhino son
it's so crazy no one put all that on one ship dog come on you a bible boy you know what
it is that's what they did yeah that that they scooped up so many animals from around the world
the animals start to go extinct yeah now animals go extinct and we're like all right well we got
all these machines you're scooping up all the fish from the water you see conspiracy you see
all the poach and they said we're talking about dudes in sandals and the skirts with the pointy bottoms running around
getting fucking dangerous lions gone from Greece.
You know what I mean?
I'm like, holy shit.
How the fuck did they do this?
So I'm watching this video.
You know how they would get the tigers?
This is the ballsiest shit in the world.
How the fuck do we not have movies made about this?
Fuck Morpheus.
So what was the guy in the Coliseum?
No, that's Matrix.
Just the Matrix, right?
Don't say fuck Morpheus.
What's the name?
Put some respect on the Matrix.
Maximus Decimus Meridius.
Fucking Maximus.
Fuck Maximus.
Commander of the armies of the north.
Fuck Maximus, right?
Light work, the Maximus shit.
This is what they would do.
You want tigers?
You're in Africa, right?
You going to get these tigers?
Okay.
You are on a horse.
What's faster than a horse?
A fucking tiger.
You got to get the cubs.
So what you do is when the mom walks away from the cubs,
you scoop up all the fucking cubs, right?
You start rolling on a horse, right?
The tiger mom starts to catch up.
You drop one cub.
The mom instinctually grabs the cub,
takes it back to the nest,
then runs after you again.
You keep moving.
You drop another cub.
You keep dropping cubs
until eventually you're far enough away
or she runs out of energy
and maybe you got one or two
and then you bring those back.
Son, how many motherfuckers had to die?
How many motherfuckers had to die
in order for them to use that thing?
Is this what you're doing?
This is your thing?
Really?
That's fucked up, yo.
You're just kidnapping little cubs, yo.
Is this your stick today?
I'm going to be unimpressed by the most impressive things?
This is your comedic stick?
It's not that impressive, yo.
The Coliseum's crazy impressive.
Indoor plumbing back then is crazy impressive.
You're talking about stealing babies.
They stole children and animals.
Indoor plumbing is the easiest thing.
The reason why they didn't invent it is because people were terrified of water.
Not because it was hard. You take of water. Not because it was hard.
You take the water,
you put it in shit.
Water killed people
back in the day.
So you're like,
why would I put it in things?
They had clean water.
No, they didn't have clean water.
All water killed people.
Water stopped killing people.
So what, the aqueducts
were just killing everybody?
The aqueducts were just
killing everybody?
Water killed people
back in the day.
People wouldn't drink water.
Babies would drink cider.
They'd drink alcoholic cider.
You'd give it to a baby
because water would fucking kill you.
So the aqueducts were just
killing everybody?
No, motherfucker.
You had to move the ships
on something.
But having water is easy.
So the aqueducts
were giving them water
that wasn't drinkable.
Yeah, they weren't drinking water.
They weren't drinking water
back in the day.
Nobody drunk water?
No, they drank alcohol.
People drank alcohol
until like the 1500s
or some shit like that.
Dude, once they start,
literally water.
From when until when?
Because it wasn't from the dawn of time until 1500.
I do believe there was a time period where people thought water could kill you.
It did kill you.
But I also think having indoor plumbing is pretty fucking crazy.
They just gamed the fucking mom lion.
The end of the Sun King.
After the Sun King in France, they started going, all right, maybe we could drink some water.
And then they would do like tea and coffee and that kind of stuff
because it was heated up, but they had this huge distrust of water.
Couldn't do it.
And then I looked this shit up.
Who was the first culture to really fuck with tea?
The Muzzies.
I assume us.
Muzzies have their intellectual breakthrough after coffee.
Son, if you look at...
This is the crazy thing.
I'm getting into my YouTube conspiracy shit again.
Bro, imagine this.
Imagine your society, right?
And you're just drinking alcohol all day.
That's all you do is drink alcohol.
And then you switch from alcohol to coffee.
Think of the productivity.
Yeah.
You go from being drunk all day.
Through the roof.
Through the roof.
And that's where you have these breakthroughs of intelligentsia. You have these
French people thinking of ideas all of a sudden.
Right? When they're not just letting food
rot because they're drunk all day.
Like, oh, I guess it's cheese.
That's marvelous. I can't believe you think
cheese is more impressive than bringing a fucking rhinoceros
from South Sudan to Rome.
Coffee. You know why?
Because they're just gaming the mother lion's instincts.
You just take advantage of her instincts.
That's all.
I was with you until you said people never drink water until 20 years ago.
You weren't with him before that.
You and I looked at each other.
I wasn't, but then he was like, ah.
People didn't drink water?
He's going to be doing that.
He's been winning with it.
The end of the day, all he is is ah.
Can I be honest with you?
The 60s.
People didn't drink water.
People didn't drink water until the Industrial Revolution.
This has to be one of the dumbest takes you've ever had.
People didn't drink water.
People didn't drink water.
You said you could do brain surgery.
People didn't drink water until, honestly, until the Dust Bowl.
All right, guys.
Yo, Asshole Army special announcement.
First of all, thank you so much to everybody that copped season three of Fashion.
That shit was absolutely crazy.
Literally our biggest season ever.
Double last season.
Just unbelievable.
We called up the guys who are making it and fulfilling all the orders,
and we said we forced them to get one more day.
We said you do whatever the fuck you have to do
to go find supply.
I don't care where
you gotta go get it.
Find the fucking supply.
That is your job.
Killer merch,
they've been absolutely killing it.
But find the fucking supply.
Give them 24 hours.
Go get it if you haven't got it just yet.
Fashion.shop.
Go there right now.
I know that a few of the items
have already sold out.
We're doing whatever we can to make sure
that we can fulfill them certain things just had
to go you know a lot of those triple XL
double XL you fat fucks
y'all scooped up that fashion real quick
and they're trying to source
your sizes it's difficult
okay but thank y'all so much for
supporting fashion.shop you literally
have until Wednesday morning at 10am
that's what we ask them we're like just give it until wednesday morning 10 a.m go out there
get that shit fashion.shop thank y'all so much for supporting i just can't believe that that you are
gonna take the position of it's not impressive to take a rhinoceros anywhere even now they just
stole cubs yo i thought they were taking growing ass animals on there that's where i was like hold
on i want to hear where this is going.
So I just felt a bit let down.
I thought, how are they going to game this fucking fast ass lion onto a boat?
Or just shoot the parents and steal the cubs.
They didn't have bullets back then.
Arrows.
Say what you just said again.
Arrows.
Say what you just said again.
Shoot the mother and steal the cubs.
Yeah.
With arrows?
Yeah.
Shoot an arrow into an elephant.
Shoot an arrow into a rhinoceros.
No, a lion.
We're talking lions.
We're talking about rhinoceros.
I was talking about...
I just said lions.
Now you're moving to goalposts.
I just said lions.
Also, how do you know you're going to hit the...
What if you hit it and then it just comes at you?
You got the quick reload?
You're not fucking Achilles out here, dog.
Hey, take a few more.
They are mauling your ass.
And think about it.
Maximum.
You can't even go away on the jeep wrangler
you got a horse
and a horse looking at you
like fam I'm not
faster than a fucking lion
it's over
you're dead
now you guys
are getting on board
now you guys are seeing it
I'm not still seeing it
I thought
we were going to get
fucking adult animals
onto this boat
I can't
they stole babies
they stole babies dog
that's not
that's not
your lack of entertainment
No
They're fucking
Jamie Spears with animals
That's all they are
They're just taking
A bunch of animals
And then fucking
Holding them captive
That's it
A bunch of babies
This is
I cannot even
I can't play along
Cubs
I can't even play along
I can't play along
It's an interesting
Comedic approach
It's not a comedic approach
Fuck you
Fuck you
It's an interesting Comedic approach Your story sucks That's on you It's the story Ofic approach Fuck you Fuck you It's an interesting comedic approach
Your story sucks
That's on you
It's the story of the greatest empire in the world
Because of the fucking animals?
Yes
Not the Colosseum?
Nothing else is important
Building things
Architectural marbles that lasted for 2,000 years
Building things is nothing
Who gives a fuck?
Rocks are heavy, they don't go anywhere
They even eat tigers
Rocks are heavy, they don't go anywhere
Oh my god
Rocks are heavy, they don't go anywhere How dos are heavy. They don't go anywhere. Oh, my God. Rocks are heavy. They don't go anywhere.
How'd they build it?
Rhinoceri?
They can move.
If you built the fucking pyramids out of rhinoceri, that's respect.
How'd they build a coliseum?
That's respect.
There's no cranes back then.
How'd they build a coliseum?
There's no construction equipment.
Just a couple of slaves doing the damn thing.
Italians are still building things in New York.
It's what they do.
Yeah, but they got equipment now.
They're standing on the side of the road, shit harassing women walk by same thing has been happening
for the last two thousand years that's impressive yes no yes they had no
equipment Italians are fucking union women is now what do you need this is it
you need equipment for that you need equipment to lift a fucking rock and put
it away are we crazy you talking about right now now you care about equipment
they do not have a question you don't care about the equipment I'm using your
same argument against you you don't care about the equipment for rhinoceros? I'm using your same argument against you.
You don't care about the equipment for rhinoceros?
I'm using your same...
No, I don't.
I'd much rather...
You build a fucking coliseum without equipment
or you steal a baby animal without equipment.
Yeah, yeah.
The rocks don't fight back.
The rocks are at least heavy.
You should pick up a couple of...
Rhinoceros isn't heavy?
How do you describe fat bitches?
Rhinoceros, not rocks.
Baby one.
You see a girl, you're like,
oh, she looks like a rhinoceros.
She don't look like a rock from the Coliseum.
I'm not going to dare that shit.
Me and Mark are grabbing baby rhinoceri right now.
And then what happens when the mom comes through with the horn?
Take that motherfucking down.
Throw some rocks at her, son.
See, you can throw the rocks.
You see what I'm saying?
You're using the rocks as weapons.
A baby rhinoceri is a very funny way to say it.
A baby rhinoceri is a very funny way to say it. A baby rhinoceri is a very funny way to say it.
But I'm with it.
It's just babies.
You see what he's doing?
You got his back and he's still shitting on you.
I said it was funny.
You got his back with his fake argument and he's still shitting on you.
That's what he's been doing, bro.
It's not a fake argument.
Yours is a fake argument.
No, mine is real.
It's impressive to get a rhinoceros from Sudan to fucking...
It's a baby, dog.
What do you feed it?
What do you feed it?
You know what rhinoceros eat?
Who gives a fuck? Feed him what you're eating. Spaghetti. You feed him spaghetti. Akash, do you feed it what do you feed it you know a rhinoceros eat who gives a fuck
feed him what you're eating it's spaghetti you feed spaghetti akash do you know what's happening
it's the year negative 27 yeah thank you the rhinoceros drink the water you can't 27 out here
okay yeah they went to the sudan yeah okay sudan isn't even sudan it's just desert sudan still
barely sudan exactly so imagine back then you to deal with all that Sudanese shit.
Times 10. Okay?
Now it's crazy to go to Sudan.
Imagine you went to Sudan right now to get a
rhinoceros. Motherfuckers go crazy. Back then?
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh. Okay?
The fact that you're giving pushback on this
is mind-boggling.
They might have got the rhinoceros drunk.
If I said it was anything so the Indians did,
oh my God,
it'd be the most amazing thing ever.
I'd be lying to myself.
I'd be lying to me.
I'd be with you.
I'd be with you,
but I'd be like,
this ain't really that impressive, huh?
What's something impressive?
Building a fucking circle
out of stones?
The pyramids.
Even English people could do that.
White people did that shit.
Yeah, y'all did that shit.
That's how easy that shit is.
Romans are white people. Say what? Romans are white people. That's how easy that shit is. Romans are white people.
Say what?
Romans are white people.
Everything you're guessing.
I'm talking about British white people.
Real white people.
Stonehenge.
Oh, yeah.
Italians.
They're so fucking not white.
They're the least white of the whites.
Sicilians maybe.
They became white in like 1930.
Sicilians maybe.
These fucking Italians we got now, these espresso drinking fucks up in Florence, those are white people. We don't know.
We don't know. Jersey Shore whites are white.
Jersey Shore whites are white.
We didn't consider Irish people white.
And that's where white is from.
Yeah, like white, not everybody gets to be
white. Y'all are going to get there.
Y'all are going to get there.
I'm good.
I don't want to. I'm good.
If these Mexicans keep making babies,
y'all are going to be white very quickly.
They just started with Latinos.
They started making Latinos.
The Latinos.
Separate.
Divide and conquer.
Divide and conquer.
They have white and non-white Hispanic on the census.
I wanted to be with you.
I did.
I was hyped, dog.
I was hyped.
I'm serious.
I'm an honest man.
You have no respect for animals.
You want me to give you the...
You have no respect for animals.
No, I love animals.
Don't steal from my children, yo.
Please, please.
To dig into Roman literature,
we were waiting for this 20-minute discussion,
but for the elephants,
guys on horseback would basically lead
and charge them into pre-dugout pits.
Yeah, this is it.
Then the elephants would end up in the pits,
and then they wouldn't feed it or give them water,
but I guess no one drank back then, so they would get physically depleted.
Elephants drink champagne.
And then they would capture it.
And then with bears, they would go into like— You had bears!
Okay, the way they do bear hunting is light work.
The bear would be in the bear den.
I just dug a hole.
I'm listening for bears.
They would fire off some trumpets.
The bear would be disoriented.
Then they'd lead them into a predetermined net, catch them, and then take the limbs and tie him to wooden planks.
Now you got a bear with little boards.
Light work.
That is so impressive.
Did you see what the bear did to Leo in the Revenant?
Did you see what the bear did to Leo in the Revenant?
Leo should have dug a hole.
That impresses me more.
This is 2,000 years before Revenant.
Not even close.
That's definitely more impressive.
2,000 years before Revenant? Leo couldn't do close. That's definitely more impressive. 2,000 years before Revenant,
Leo couldn't do shit
and he's a fucking hunter.
They dug a hole
and starved the animal, son.
That is not that impressive.
You've never done that
to a girlfriend
who was gaining
little weights.
More pits
than got the elephants.
You never got a girl
back into competition shape.
Ow.
Yo, the bear shit
is impressive.
You never had a girl
have to drop weight because you had a big party coming up or something in the competition shape out. Yo, the bear shit is impressive. You never had a girl have to drop weight
because you had a big party
coming up or something like that.
Get me something in the basement.
Yo, get me something
in the basement, please.
And lock the door.
I'll give you bears.
Bears is impressive.
Lions, they do the piss.
How is bears more impressive
than a rhinoceros?
Do you know what a rhinoceros is?
I think giraffes are most impressive.
Okay, go.
You got to build a super big cage.
Thank you.
The tallest cage ever.
Thank you. Like, literally, just let it, I'm with him on this. Think about how tall that cage is. impressive. Okay, go. You got to build a super big cage. Thank you. The tallest cage ever. Thank you.
Like, literally, just let it, I'm with him on this.
Think about how tall that cage is.
It's so tall.
Like, it's crazy tall.
Who's building a cage that tall?
It is really thin.
It's skinny and tall.
You never build a cage?
They don't even fight back.
Oh, they don't?
No.
You've never seen a bull giraffe fight?
You've never seen a bull giraffe fight?
Yeah.
That shit is like fucking Will Smith's daughter.
It's just whip your hair back and forth, dog.
Seriously, that's how they fight.
They headbutt.
That long neck.
Yeah.
Yeah, they got to get pretty far down.
They do it.
The golf, bro.
That's fucking top golf.
They're dangerous animals, bro.
You don't respect animals.
You don't respect nature.
No, I sure don't.
Fuck all the other Roman accomplishments.
This is the one.
Nothing they've done is impressive.
They steal cubs.
Nothing they've done is impressive outside of animals.
They steal cubs.
The bear shit, they're playing music, distracting a fucking grown-ass bear.
It's just kind of like, hey, that's cool you figured that out.
Yeah, what song do they play?
Disorienting a bear with motherfucking saints going marching in or whatever.
That's impressive to me.
It's a grown-ass bear.
Elephant, you starve it.
It's kind of fucked up.
But that's, I see how it's impressive.
You still got to pick the motherfucker up. I see how that's impressive. You still got to pick the motherfucker up.
I see how that's impressive.
You got to get him on the bus.
You got to pick up the elephant.
You got to pick up the elephant.
Yeah.
That's why I was saying, why'd you leave the cubs?
You just took cubs.
Because the mom would chase after the cubs.
Yeah, and then you drop one.
You drop one.
You just constantly fail.
To come up with that idea.
That's not smart.
Somebody has to fail first.
They didn't have the internet.
So they have mad time to think about shit.
Oh, my God.
I hate you all.
What about Roman numerals?
How could you figure?
How could you find a way to make?
That's a good-ass point.
I know you're going.
That's a good-ass point, dog.
That's a bad time, son.
That ain't nothing but time.
Yo, cut your phone off for one flight.
The ideas you're going to come up with during that one flight will be better than any Roman idea.
Any.
You're being disrespectful to the great Roman Republic.
Son, I'm picking you up.
You're being disrespectful for the great Roman Republic.
I'm picking you up.
The genius that you have,
minus the distraction of the internet,
is crazy.
What is the genius of Gandhi?
He was just an elephant.
He was an elephant that the Romans took.
He just sat there and fucking starved.
And he's a fucking hero for that.
And we can't treat the elephants like they're
Gandhi? But the Romans didn't stop
attacking elephants after that, did they?
The Romans didn't give the elephants their freedom,
did they? No.
Now that would have been impressive-ass elephant-ing.
That would have been some impressive elephant-ing.
If the Romans were running India, they would have let that motherfucker starve.
The English and bitch-ass
colonists.
They're not strong about it
if the Romans
were running into it
please believe
you would have
wilted away
art of war doggy
I know your enemy
exactly
exactly
the Romans knew their enemies
they knew how to respect
a rhinoceros
they knew how to respect
an elephant
you still haven't said
how they get the rhinoceros
maybe this will be impressive
what
how they get the rhinoceros
they wrote it
that's impressive
they wrote it
that's fire dog they wrote it back you see how that's impressive. They rode it. That's fire, dog.
They rode it back.
You see how that's impressive, right?
They rode it back.
I saved the best for last.
They rode it back.
Hey.
One drive.
Hey, you know what?
One ride, nonstop.
No water.
That's impressive.
Nobody had water.
Not for the rhinoceros, not for the people.
Nobody drunk water.
Yeah, that's it.
They would drink Aperol Spritz.
Also, the people stealing the Cubs and dying were probably not like rich Romans.
They were probably like sending their slaves out there
like, hey, try it this way.
Hey, try it this way.
It's impressive for the slaves too.
Just a bunch of fucking guinea pigs.
Yeah, it's impressive.
You guys have no respect for history or culture.
This sucks.
Do you know what I mean?
What did your people do?
Just sat around and fucking fucked and wrote it down.
Congrats.
Do you know what I mean?
Your Grayson Cosmism are doing nothing. Yeah know what I mean? Your grace and consciousness are doing
nothing. Yeah, but I'm not bringing him to the
podcast to start this shit off.
I just can't believe he's watching at home.
His mind is just blown. He's like,
yo, I can't wait. I dropped this heat on
the bus.
You waited to drop that
heat on the bus.
He's like, I'm going to kill you today, boy.
Y'all don't respect greatness, y'all.
Y'all don't respect greatness.
I can't believe it. I was so hyped.
What inspires y'all? What inspires y'all? Not so hyped what inspires y'all
not fucking stealing children
but what inspires you
that's some QAnon ass shit bro
and then if they don't believe that
they didn't even drink water before the romance
they didn't
they didn't drink water
making no crazy lies
they didn't drink no water
they wasn't drinking water.
I was so excited.
Just beer, dog.
Yeah, when you told me this is more impressive than the Coliseum, I was like, yo, they did get animals.
How'd they get these animals?
Why is the Coliseum impressive?
And then they're just stealing children.
Son, it's still up to date.
That's impressive, bro.
It's heavy.
And I know we helped.
It's just rocks.
It stays there.
It's like all the buildings we build are going to be here forever, too.
Oh, my God. Son, when you saw the fucking pyramid,
you were blown away.
Yeah, because it's heavy.
The weight of it impressed me.
And the fact that they could do it 4,000 years ago.
If I knew that they were putting rhinoceri
on top of the pyramid, that'd be way more impressive.
That'd be way more impressive.
If they put a rhinoceros on top of the pyramid,
if they got that, I'd be way more impressed.
Anything with rhinoceros, I'm impressed. Remember when Ace Ventura came out the back of a rhinoceros at the top of the pyramid, if they got that, I'd be way more impressed. Anything with rhinoceros, I'm impressed.
Remember when Ace Ventura came
out the back of a rhinoceros?
Greatest thing he's ever done in his career, Jim Carrey.
That's the greatest thing Jim Carrey
ever done in his whole career.
That's the greatest thing he ever did.
And, I'll be honest, I'm pretty sure it was a hippopotamus
he came out of. Still one of the greatest things
he's ever done in his entire career.
Whatever. It was a rhinoceros?
It was a rhino? Do you see that do you see that yeah, that was impressive he came out the rhinos ass
Y'all be better inspiration in your lives inspired by bullshit
I don't ever want to share anything motivational again.
I don't want to see that rhino so much.
I think it's because they got big noses.
He's like, brother?
Brother.
I feel attacked.
Okay.
I can't believe it.
That's why he's not impressed by the pyramids.
The Sphinx lost its nose.
That's a good point.
That's why he don't like it.
So apparently they did have water back in the day.
I Googled it. No, they had water, Mark.
But could they drink it? Of course they had water. You don't like it. Apparently, they did have water back in the day. They had water, Mark. Could they drink it?
Of course they had water.
You said nobody drank the water.
But they're not drinking it.
Water existed.
What are you dreaming?
It happened in fucking 1920.
Could they drink the water?
This is an important thing.
They weren't drinking the water.
Rich people weren't drinking the water.
Water was the most common drink.
You're moving to Corpo's. You're moving to Corpo's. That's why most common drink. Poor people don't have beer.
You're moving to cold water.
Poor people don't have beer.
Poor people would die. That's just what it was.
Rich people don't drink water now. They drink wine.
It still doesn't mean you can't drink it.
No, no. Rich people drink water.
So they would drink it from the natural springs and then aqueduct it down.
Or if there was a cholera outbreak, then they would boil the water.
And in some cases they would use beer as a substitute.
Exactly. They would drink beer as a substitute. Exactly.
They would drink beer.
They didn't drink water.
They didn't drink water.
They didn't drink water.
Oh, please believe,
by the end of this podcast,
the Roman Empire is the most impressive thing
any of y'all have ever seen.
Come on.
Please believe.
They invented television.
Really?
They had television.
They were the first ones
to have television.
Did you have iPhones?
No, they didn't have iPhones.
Oh my God. But they invented television. Actually, the Scottish invented television. They were the first ones that had television. Did you have iPhones? No, they didn't have iPhones. Oh, my God.
But they invented television.
Actually, the Scottish invented television.
No big deal.
Just two great empires.
Oh, damn.
Just two great empires.
Guys, I don't ever want to share anything exciting with you guys ever again.
I just want to let you know.
Chifty, Chifty, I want to talk to you later about the Roman Empire.
You're going to be really impressed.
This is why people have kids.
This is why people have kids.
I realize now.
My man was yelling at us because we weren't impressed.
He thought I made a decision not to be impressed.
I've never wanted to be violent to you.
When I told you about the fact that they put an elephant in the thing and you looked at me like I said, my girl's really funny.
You know what I mean? Or just something like like that and you gave me the same look like
It was equally impressive. I wanted to punch you in your fuck. I want to take your head
I want to slam into the corner of the table
Yeah
I wanted I can't believe you can't you guys couldn't find anything impressive in that.
I cannot.
I will remember this for the rest of my life.
I will remember this for the rest of my life.
When you guys are, like, faking interest in some, like, famous person's story,
you're like, oh, that was so hilarious.
I'm like, oh, is it?
Oh, is that hilarious?
Oh, that's pretty goddamn funny, isn't it?
You just led with the wrong thing.
That's all.
If you told us how they got the fucking bear dog.
Suck dicks. Suck, dog. Suck dicks.
Suck dicks.
Suck dicks.
Suck dicks.
Let's go ahead with the wrong thing.
Rhino never fails.
You didn't lead with rhino.
What did I lead with?
You led with tigers.
What?
Tigers.
Tigers are pretty fucking impressive.
We watched the whole documentary about it.
We watched with Tiger King, the whole documentary.
The wall was enthralled over tigers.
They're in a cage.
That tiger's in the fucking forest.
I wasn't impressed by him.
I was watching it like a fucking circus.
But I wasn't like, how does Joe Exotic get these tigers in their cages?
Akash, you've been dressing like him ever since.
You changed the way you dress based on that fucking documentary.
That's just because I'm gay.
You changed the way you dress.
That's just because I'm gay.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, man.
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable. You're unbelievable. Unbelievable. This is the least impressive take in history, right? I just cuz I'm gay mm-hmm Unbelievable unbelievable
Unbelievable this is the least impressive take in history right Roman Empire is pretty cool
Catch a house cat. I don't think either you could catch a house cat. I don't need to
Be 52 bomber it's still impressive that you can do it.
That's impressive.
I catch one.
Bang.
Caught.
Give me a flag.
I'll catch a house cat right now.
No problem.
Wait, how do you do that?
Just catch that motherfucker.
Hold it out.
Bang.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, fuck.
That was impressive to y'all?
No, it wasn't.
It was impressive to you?
That was impressive.
Catching the cat?
Yeah, dog.
They didn't even move.
What was more impressive after they caught the shit and the cat was scratching the shit out dog they didn't even move what was more impressive
after they caught the shit and that cat was scratching the shit out of that motherfucker
and they still held on to it that was the impressive yeah that's that's respect oh look
at the cat the cat is bugging out like biting and scratching his motherfucker he's like
holding it by its head and then one other person grabs it and the cat's like
marring them apart yeah impressive the catchressive. The catch? Eh, mid.
It was actually a good catch.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Big ass flag.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
I just said they took a rhinoceros from South Sudan to Rome.
Okay?
I feel the tie's turning.
And you said it wasn't impressive.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold the fuck off.
Get the nerve going.
I just said I got the rhinoceros.
They took a rhinoceros from South Sudan.
Not North Sudan.
South Sudan to Rome.
Where they had a baseball game, though.
Where they had a baseball game, though.
Nah.
Alex, you just puffed your chest and you said,
the guy held a cat while he scratched his forearms.
Yes.
That was impressive.
You said that.
The Romans dug a hole and starved it.
Oh, my God.
How do you get out of the hole?
How do you get out of the hole?
So you take a bunch of motherfucking slaves.
A bunch of slaves
going to get one rhinoceros
out the hole.
Gotcha.
I'm wrong?
I hope you get a nosebleed today.
But why?
I want that for you.
But why?
I want you to spontaneously
start bleeding out of your nose.
And I want it to drip
on your stupid shirt and I want you to be like, oh fuck i want you to oh fuck and then my nose is bleeding and i want
that to happen to you today after what you put me through you gave me an aneurysm you took a year
off my life you took a year off my life just me what about this guy he will he he will get his
punishment okay okay he will get his punishment one day maybe not this life maybe the next life
you're gonna come back as a Roman emperor.
I would love it. That's fire.
I would love it.
That's fire.
I have a very easy job.
Oh, no.
Because you have to drink alcohol.
There's no water.
Yeah, there's no water, is there?
Kiss your liquid death goodbye.
You're going to have to drink your alcohol.
I hope you like drinking, Arkash.
I'm going to love it.
And you're going to have to eat beef, too.
I'm going to love that, too.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm just doing all the fun shit I can't do now. I'm sorry. And you're going to have to eat beef, too. I'm going to love that, too. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm just doing all the fun shit I can't do now.
I'm sorry.
Sounds lit.
You're going to come back as a Muslim emperor.
With a harem of women.
Yep.
And conquering India.
Oh.
And making Indians build things.
That'll do.
Yes.
If I really want to punish him, I'll have him catch baby tigers.
That workout you did today,
are you leveled out?
You realize you still haven't said
how they caught the rhinoceros?
I just want to say,
I just want to say,
you know what?
Okay, I made it up.
They never had a rhinoceros, okay?
I just had to reach for bigger animals, okay?
You know they had a fucking Tyrannosaurus?
That would be impressive. That's impressive. The way they got fucking Tyrannosaurus? That would be impressive.
That's impressive.
They did have a rhinoceros.
They did.
It was a big white rhinoceros.
They got one of the white ones.
They're a little slower.
A little easier to catch.
But to what Dub just said.
Al caught many white female rhinoceros.
You're not impressed by that.
You guys completely ruined my workout.
I am worked back up
to where I usually am
before a workout.
I am worked back up today.
So the rest of my day is ruined.
Thank you guys so much.
I had a good couple hours.
It was nice.
And now I feel like
absolute complete shit.
Welcome to Flagrant.
Shout out to Kid Super, everybody.
Shout out to our boy kid super kid super won the uh carl lagerfeld uh award or something like that i have it written down
somewhere but basically won this uh very prestigious award and a lot of people who
won this reward uh in the past gone on to do absolutely amazing things uh if you guys don't
know who kid super is he's a he's really like a truly brilliant creative man and uh he has a clothing line
called kid super it's our boy column who spells his name comb so i only fucking call him comb
he made the he made the robe for the store that you guys have seen before and but no he's seriously
brilliant fucking dude and uh he was out there i I think it was Fashion Week in Paris, was it?
Yeah.
And he won this award.
And I just think that there's going to be massive things for this kid.
He's just a great fucking guy, hilarious.
And I'm just super proud of him.
So we wanted to give him a shout out on the podcast.
Sorry if we butchered the award, okay?
It's the LVMH Prize.
LVMH Prize.
That's Louis Vuitton.
Moet. Moet. Hennessy. Hennessy. LVMH prize. That's Louis Vuitton.
Moet.
Hennessy.
Hennessy.
Oh, wow.
The LVMH prize.
Carl Lagerfeld. Hennessy award?
That's fire.
That's fire.
That's fire.
Dan Louie.
Now it's impressive.
Okay.
Is that impressive, guys, or no?
Incredibly impressive. Oh, it incredibly impressive oh it's incredibly impressive
impressive right there think of the competition he beat out yeah fucking children yeah
and it's called the carl lagerfeld prize oh it's called a call whatever the fuck it is calm
r.i.p okay we love you we appreciate you and congratulations all right guys we're gonna take
a break for a second because we got shows. The motherfucking infamous tour is coming to your city.
And I got important information about all the COVID mandates, et cetera, that these different states and cities are putting in place.
So pay the fuck attention.
OK, important.
San Diego, you're good.
All right.
Austin, you need proof of facts or a negative test that is required.
You understand that proof of fact or negative test. If you're not vaccinated, vax or a negative test that is required. You understand that? Proof of vax or negative test.
If you're not vaccinated, just go get that negative test.
Make sure you go get that negative motherfucking test beforehand.
Okay?
Go do that shit if you are not vaccinated.
All right?
That's right.
We're not mandating anybody gets vaccinated.
You're just going to go get that negative test to prove it.
And then we're going to film this goddamn special.
I'm so fucking excited. Austin, i will see y'all there um uh let's see louisville is vax or negative
tests uh within 72 hours cincinnati is vax or negative tests within 48 hours philly is vax or
negative tests within 48 hours um indy vax or negative tests within 48 hours dc vax or negative test within 48 hours. Indy, vax or negative test within 48 hours.
DC, vax or negative test within 48 hours.
San Fran is vax only, okay?
Now, if you have some sort of medical exception,
like maybe you're pregnant or that kind of stuff,
maybe they'll work with you,
but the city of San Francisco is a bunch of fucking cucks
and cucks make stupid rules. So they're saying you have to be vax only. That is the city's policy.
Nothing we can do about that. I wish it was vax or tests, but again, this is a city run by cucks.
So they're, you know, cucks are going to cuck. Madison, vax or negative tests within 48 hours.
cock um madison vaccine negative tests within 48 hours uh chicago you're good and uh minneapolis vaccine negative tests within 48 hours jacksonville you know it's florida baby you already know baby
you're good um and yeah so make sure you do that and uh those are the shows we added chicago
we added another one in san francisco We added another one in San Francisco.
We added another one in D.C.
A lot of these shows already sold out.
We will see you there.
I am so fucking excited, man.
The tour is really kind of gearing up, man.
We're having some fun, man.
We're having a lot of fun.
I can't wait to do this special and just see y'all, man.
So I'm very excited.
Akash, what you got?
Yo, I'm going to be in Austin as well. the 23rd through the 25th at Moon Tower Comedy Festival.
I am headlining on the 23rd, so cop your fucking tickets.
We got friends of the podcast showing up.
That's going to be a fun show.
October 1st, Houston.
I'm coming home, sort of, where my parents live now.
I'm going to be at the Secret Group.
Two shows on Friday.
Bring your ass through.
October 5th, New York. I'm going to be at the Secret Group. Two shows on Friday. Bring your ass through. October 5th, New York.
I'm going to be at New York Comedy Club. Two shows.
We're going to be
doing a little something, so come through. New York Comedy
Club on 24th and 2nd.
October 15th and 16th, Toronto
at the Rock Pile Nightclub.
There are only tickets for one show left,
so hurry the fuck up and cop before
they sell out. Just added,
October 21st through 23rd, I'm going to be in New Brunswick, New Jersey,
at the Stress Factory.
Hurry up and buy tickets because those will sell as well.
November 5th, I'm going to be in Atlanta.
Sorry, that's November 6th.
I'm going to be in Atlanta at the Red Clay Comedy Festival.
November 11th through 13th, I'm going to be at Helium in Indianapolis.
December 3rd through 4th, I'm actually home, home.
Dallas, hyenas. Cop your 4th, I'm actually home home. Dallas, hyenas, cop
your fucking tickets. I'm coming home.
And then December 9th through 11th, DC at the
Comedy Loft. Get your tickets on
akashsingh.com. Alex, hit it.
And guys, if you're in the tri-state
area, you're looking for a place to record your podcast,
head over to WTF Media Studios.
It's in Soho. Some of your favorite
podcasts are there. You got Horrible Decisions,
Rory Mall, even Brilliant Idiots was there a few times so head over to wtfmediastudios.com
and book your slot today and let's get back to the show all right guys we're gonna take a break
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Let's get back to the show.
Okay, let's talk about this beating up these chicks.
Feelings, no facts.
Feelings, no facts.
Yeah, we're going feelings, no facts because it's already to the point where I just want
to throw away everything.
I want to throw away everything.
We're at the point where it's like, what's the point a career let's just make it all explode okay let's just go down
let's go down in a ball of flames okay um no but let's talk about it this is this is this is an
interesting story because these things keep on popping up and nobody seems to want to address
it and you know who they never ask uh they feel about this? Or maybe they do.
We just never hear.
We always hear about these right-wing pundits are always talking about it.
The left wing doesn't really say anything because they know that it's fucked up, but they can't really be anti-trans.
So the right-wing guys use it as a way to kind of push back against trans rights, I think.
It's kind of like a convenient thing.
And push back against overcorrection, I think, more so.
What does that mean?
They're pushing back against what they feel is like the PC movement overreaching.
And this is the one that they think they have the easiest time arguing because it kind of also flips their feminism argument against them.
Yes.
And it's like if you have a trans woman in the women's bathroom, that's enough for conservatives to go, yo, this is fucked up.
But liberals would be like, you have to respect her as a woman.
She'd just go, you as a bathroom, as a woman she just go you as a bathroom as a woman it is what it is once you get violence
into the equation right then all of a sudden there has to be a little bit of pushback like
do you want these bitches being beat up by a dude who's like an ex-navy seal right like the dude was
literally ex-military yeah there's a there's a picture of him before he transitioned where he's
looking like fucking gordon ryan dude do you know who that is. Do you know who that is? The jiu-jitsu dude?
The jiu-jitsu goat? The guy was
fucking stacked when he was a dude.
Transitioned to the chick. Still in pretty good
shape, but there's an image of him
choking the fucking shit out of this girl.
So what I'm curious about is
what the girls
that are fighting these trans
women think.
I would love to hear that.
I just want to hear the girls That's all I want to hear.
I just want to hear the girls.
Like, do they look at it as a challenge?
Are they really willing to test their fighting skills?
Are they going, I'm a martial artist.
It doesn't matter who you put in front of me.
Are they going, you know what I'm saying?
I actually watched a CNN interview.
This was a few years ago.
It was probably like six or seven years ago now.
The Fallon Fox story, probably?
The Fallon Fox fighter.
Someone that fought Fallon Fox that was like, yeah.
The CNN reporter was just kind of asking about the fight and they were like, yeah, you know,
it was good. Good competitor, blah, blah, blah. And started
trying to bait the conversation into a
trans issue. Where the fighter didn't really seem
like she was interested in talking about trans fighting.
And then kind of got baited
into it and then kind of misspoke
and was afraid of getting canceled. I think if you're
a high level competitor, you're just
thinking, I don't care. I want to fight them and i'm not going to have any excuses well you could
talk to me all you want about bone density and all this advantage that person might have had for
30 this person 30 years of being a male genetically or whatever sexually whatever
but i don't want i just see that as competition and i should win and that's it there's also a
weird steroid i think a competitor might be like let's not even let that shit that is an excuse
enter into my mind.
Win or lose,
I win or lost
and that's it.
A high level competitor
might be like,
fuck all the excuses,
let's just go.
Because I'm sure the rules
are the same as the Olympics
where they just got to make sure
that your testosterone
is within a female range.
Right.
Right?
So if we're basing
your strength and ability
strictly on testosterone,
which I think is unfair because there's probably
other things that go into it, but it's like a testosterone estrogen level, right?
That's what makes you quote unquote female or be able to compete with these females.
I just don't subscribe and maybe it's my sexism.
Like I don't care if I'm a dude that has no testosterone in my body at all.
Like no girl's going to beat me up.
Like even if she's got testosterone, like i i know that sex is to
say but i believe it's completely unfair well this is where it gets weird because there's a
steroids thing that happens okay where a lot of these fighters men and women are on steroids oh
yeah yeah yeah yeah so they're like yo do you want to fight a trans woman and they're like okay yeah
it's the same weight class like maybe they got more muscle, more bone density, whatever. But their estrogen is higher
and their testosterone is lower and I'm on
fucking testosterone. So don't start
testing testosterone because my testosterone is crazy.
Or like I had to cycle in the off season
and then I got off it and started using beta blockers
or whatever the fuck. You're saying the female competitors
are on steroids.
So in a weird way,
the genetically female ones, so in a weird
way, it kind of exposes
testosterone use in female athletes or female mma fighters at least because they're like well
fuck don't test the for testosterone because it's going to expose me that i've been fucking
cheating as well and then on top of that they're like i think you got to measure clits i think if
i think it's got to be dick or clit. It has to be in the one centimeter or three centimeter range.
And then you're good.
But if you have a full cock, if you're just all foreskin, if that's all that's left,
like your actual phallus has just kind of shriveled away, I think you can compete with women.
I'm okay with that.
Just like a hand in a pantyhose kind of thing.
Yes.
It's real floppy.
Yes.
Like if you turned a Smurf upside down,
like you know those hats
that they have?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or am I thinking
of a Keebler elf?
You're thinking of a Keebler elf.
Keebler elf, yeah.
Just that.
If that's it,
I think you can go.
Micro penis?
Yeah, I guess.
Unerect.
Oh my God.
Talking about micro.
And then we get back
to the story real quick.
You know how like dwarfism is a thing and gigantism is a thing,
right?
Gigantism.
We've all heard of,
right?
Has there ever been a dwarf with gigantism?
I don't think you can.
Maybe,
maybe one of us.
Dwarfs tend to have,
cause they'd have that same body.
It would just be fucking like a giant toddler.
Yes.
Oh,
dwarfs tend to have small hands with big head. I don't know.. Like a giant toddler. Yes. Dwarfs tend to have small
hands but big head.
Small legs, small arms.
I don't think that things are opposite.
I think they're two different diseases and they're
just so rare that you almost
never see. Please tell me there is one right now.
Adam Rayner. Get the
fuck out of me. How big?
He was the only person in recorded history
to have been both a dwarf and a giant
why are there pictures yeah holy shit that's why so his adult height was four foot ten inches
oh but that's the gigantism a dwarf so it was supposed to be two feet no i think anything
under four eleven is considered a midget yeah this was wait oh hold on oh no four foot no no he was a was a regular adult
oh he ended up reaching a height of seven foot holy shit does the body look like a midget still
kind of mark please just please put this on i'm putting up a pic whoa whoa whoa that's wild
no that's just a regular guy
he's a dwarf
he got them V lines
he got them V's going
something's going on with his face dude
fucking chimney sweep
okay back to
what's it called the fighter thing
what is your
so I read about this particular fighter and this is where I have a little more empathy
or sympathy or whatever the word is for her, this trans, is because she came out in 2003
as trans.
Before there was a big PC movement, and we were all pretty fucking close-minded about
this stuff.
She was like, yo, I'd like to have the surgery.
Her parents said no.
So she ended up like going to war as a male, then had PTSD, all this shit, and still want
to do the surgery.
So this is like, sometimes I think you can question their motives.
Like, what are you just trying to fucking compete and win?
You're just trying to beat girls up.
Yeah.
You know how like Dexter found a way to kill people?
Right.
He's like, I'll just kill bad people because I need to do it.
Right.
Like if you're a guy who just needs to beat women up.
Yeah.
Then you transition to a woman and then compete in female MMA.
And I don't think this is one of those cases because you made them stay a woman and then compete in female mma and i don't think this
is one of those cases because they you made them stay a man and they went to fucking war they're
like yeah i just whatever yeah also i was thinking about this issue and i was thinking won't this
just sort itself out with enough time like if trans athletes keep transitioning and then
dominating and winning and like taking all the championships in every woman's sport we're gonna
eventually like other shit gotta stop yeah it's like shack maybe all the championships in every women's sport, we're going to eventually, like, yo, this shit got to stop. Yeah, it's like Shaq made you change the rules of basketball.
Yeah, exactly.
Right?
So there's going to be, like, a girl Shaq.
So we're going to do this every time, and I get it.
But if you step back, can't you just be like, this will take care of itself?
This is one of those problems that you just let it go, and eventually everybody, like, yo, it's too far.
The only issue is, if it was regular sports, I think that people don't care enough about female sports most
female sports there's a few but like right people don't care enough about female sports uh to to
really like make the adjustments or the changes well people within the federations do pardon if
you're leading the women's ufc federation or the women's mma federation you care enough about women's
sports you would adjust it yeah but like in general general, I don't think that female sports,
outside of maybe tennis,
don't drive enough revenue
for there to be real change.
Female sports, for the most part,
on the professional level,
it sounds fucked up to say it,
but it's more of a charity case.
It's like the NBA is going to front the money
for the WNBA.
It's not a profitable business endeavor,
but it's the right thing to do
so we can get more women into the sport. Maybe the NBA is looking like, hey, look, if women are actually into the WNBA. It's not a profitable business endeavor, but it's the right thing to do so we can get more women into the sport. And maybe the NBA is looking like, hey, look,
if women are actually into the WNBA, that means they're definitely going to be in the NBA as well.
And then we can double our market share by getting the other half of the population to care, right?
If this was happening to men's sports, if women were better than men and they were coming in and
affecting the game, please realize that this would be changed immediately right in
a fucking heartbeat so maybe you're right maybe it sorts itself out when it enters the ufc right
maybe it's like when amanda noon's gets knocked the fuck out by some guy who used to be a fucking
navy seal right then all of a sudden we go what is happening over here but fallon fox lost yeah
right a girl beater right you know so uh i, I don't think you see that change at a hit size level.
I think the only tricky thing is, Akash, is that if this was any other sport where they don't actually get hurt and potentially killed, I think it'd be okay to just let it sort itself out.
This is a violent sport.
One girl could die, man.
Yeah.
The weird thing I see is every time this story hits the news cycle, it's either the media talking about it or men.
I never really hear.
Women have to speak up.
Yeah, I would be curious about that.
It's like, until women speak up, we're not going to do shit.
And what do you think the hesitation is?
They have the pushback of saying, hey, I don't want to compete against trans,
but they're so progressive.
So the liberal women want to include trans women
in what it is to be a woman,
but they are also scared of excluding them
in competing against women.
So they're just quiet.
And since it's not happening at a large scale,
like there's so few trans people in general,
there's even less that are competing in sports and even fewer that are competing even close
to the highest level.
Right.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's like having a fucking UFC champion from like British Samoa.
Right.
It's just so hard.
And that's why men care about it because we're like nah shit gotta be fair
so we're not even watching the fucking trans fight but we're just like nah that shit don't
sound fair and we care about that like if we're gonna look at ourselves in the best possible way
like i don't think we like to see women get their ass kicked by guys that's also true like but i
don't know i don't know why death is the inhibiting factor if that's an outcome in any ufc fight or
any mma fight right like death is always on the table for any fight right yeah this guy could be at a genetic advantage
or whatever uh yeah but if they're the same weight class how different is it
well i mean you know if they're both fighting on 130 though there's a lot of like a guy at 130 and
a girl 130 aren't the same right but on like estrogen blockers and all that shit i'm like
that's the thing that we don't know. We don't know if a guy's
testosterone levels reduced
to a woman's testosterone
is going to be the same. So what she said
is, I can't bench as much as I used to.
I went from running a six minute mile to a nine minute
mile now. I think she used to bench like 350
as a male and now she's at like 185
or whatever. So she said it affected her performance.
There's a video you linked us to and the guy
was using all kinds of terms.
I don't fucking understand.
But he basically said,
he said bone density,
a bunch of other things are going to come into play
just from having been a male
for 30 years
that just reducing testosterone
isn't going to take away.
Right.
You're still going to have
all these other
secondary advantages.
Right.
And can't the women
choose to take the fight though?
Yeah, of course they can.
Of course they can.
But,
yeah, look look there's other
factors that go into that like they want to make a living they want to do right by the promotion
they're contractually obligated to take fights and if they say no then maybe the promotion looks
down on them the promotion is also selfishly going hey if we have this fight here the whole
world's going to be talking about it and we're going to get named in it so they're probably not
looking out for that girl as much but But even going back to the testosterone numbers,
have you ever had an old man grab you?
Yeah, they got old man strength.
Old man strength.
Is a thing.
It's a real thing.
We all know this, right?
That old man offensive line football.
This guy at the YMCA was like 60,
smaller than any of us that were there
and lifting way more than any of us.
And even guys that aren't exercising,
like just grandpa that just grabs and
holds you he's got fucking cuts in his fingers who haven't healed for like 20 years like that
guy's testosterone levels are super low like you get older i think naturally your testosterone goes
down yes that's why they do trt right testosterone replacement therapy and people start that even
earlier shit i know people that are on fucking trt and they're in their late 30s right so i think
dax shepherd is on it dax is on there's a lot of famous people on it so it's like if those
testosterone levels already dip but them old man still got that fucking strength like no grandma's
ever grabbed me and i was like damn shit yeah all right happy birthday all right i'll come around
more often yeah right so there's got to be something else besides just testosterone and
weight that's giving a guy
an advantage in a fight
with a girl.
Right.
And that's where I think
the issue is,
to answer your question.
And what are those things?
Is it just muscle?
Maybe the bone density thing.
I don't know.
We need a science nerd
to come on over here.
But we never had to cross
this bridge because
everybody was on
the same fucking page.
We were like,
all right,
the reason why we have two different sports,
we don't let girls compete. It was really generous of us
to be like, hey, don't play in our league because we'll
fucking destroy you. We still want you to play.
Playing is fun. Let's create some
rules so you can play. If Amanda
Nunez wanted to fight a guy in the same weight
class or whatever, and they were both like,
yeah, let's fight, would anyone care?
I think there'd be a lot of people that were not
happy with it. There is someone who's trying to do this.
Some little UFC fighter's dude is trying
to fight a big girl. I forget. Somebody
DM'd me about this a while ago. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know if it's going to happen, though. They keep promoting
it as if it's going to happen, but I don't know.
You don't have a problem with Nunes fighting
a dude? If they were an
MMA fighter, like if she was
fighting another elite MMA fighter, I'd
have a problem. If she was fighting a random dude
off the street who thought he could beat Amanda
Nunes, it's like...
Good luck. Yeah, but if she challenges
another MMA fighter, I'd be fine.
I wouldn't want it.
She's just dominating everybody.
All of her competition is like, yo, I need some more
comp. I don't even like
seeing women fight. It's gross to me, dog. I'm with more comp. I don't even like seeing women fight.
It's gross to me, dog.
Wait, how they look or how they fight?
I don't like it, man. Say what?
How they look or how they fight. Which one?
No, both.
But seeing them fight,
they bleed in and fucking heads all swollen
and shit. It's uncomfortable, but some
of those fights have been incredible.
Should they be allowed to?
Anything that makes me uncomfortable should be allowed you have to curate society based on your comfort yeah that makes sense
i like that okay that's fair you saw the video i sent you yeah you know mark's always talking
about he wants to go to the stand countries yeah so i was looking at this guy went to turk
ministan which is like the seventh least visited country in the world like that you can't it's
basically north korea but like muslim but they speak russian or whatever and um they had an
emperor back in the day who was just like dogs smell bad outlawed dogs just said no more dogs
said only white cars like he just had all these like random arbitrary rules and they just fucking
stuck like how crazy is that that's so wild yeah it's got it yeah you want to you want
to visit there yeah i want to go to all the stands bro i'm telling you you're a stand stand i'm a
stand stand i want to go to all the stands the only reason i give pushback on a place like like
that is it like you might not get the authentic experience that you want what intermentistan
yeah just because like the the ajbat or whatever ajbat or whatever the fuck is it? Ashgabat. Ashgabat, yeah.
So it's like the city is kind of curated
in the same way Pyongyang is curated.
They just made all the buildings
to look really nice and everything,
but there's nobody really fucking there.
That's still fascinating though.
Going to Pyongyang being like,
all right, what do you want me to see?
I'm living in this,
going to a dictatorship would be fucking crazy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I feel weird giving my money to a dictatorship,
but also like, eh. Yeah, I mean they got plenty of money they don't need to do
the favor by letting you go right ask people not to come there would you go to pyongyang
i would love to i would love to but but i'm not gonna do it why not no night asians bro yeah a lot of koreans almost only only koreans no no uh it's just not
worth the fucking risk man one thing goes south and all of a sudden like absolutely not and i
don't want it like i don't want to put america in the position where they got to put all this
pressure like on fucking north korea to get me out like i don't want that whole fucking story
where that that america
looks like they're just bending the knee to fucking kim jong-un just to get me they trade
like two journalists to get you out like fuck that like if you go there you get stuck that's on you
you knew that you're not supposed to be there yeah we're not going into helping
i think you'd be salty about your ransom say what you'd be mad about your ransom
what would my hennessy be what would my hennessy he loves hennessy right how much hennessy for me
probably three lvmh call colm call kid super and get a fucking case of hennessy over to north korea
immediately it'll be cool to go if you're like dennis robman and kim jong-un is like no i like
this guy yeah just going and risking like i might not ever get out of here auto one beer the american that yeah yeah the spy
for the spy no banner thief yeah i'm thinking the things mark steals every single snack from
oh yeah yeah oh it's illegal to take someone from the mini bar i'm going to prison yeah 100
you're done it is illegal unless you put your car down on the room.
And then it's legal.
But if I put my car down on the room, then the minibar is off limits. Every time I go to the hotel, they go, yeah, he wanted to put your car on the incidentals for some reason.
I go, yeah, he does that.
They go, oh, that's weird.
We have to do that.
Yeah, the other option is I call before and I go, hey, can you just make sure there's no fucking stuff in the sink or in the sink?
The refrigerator or the, you know how like some rooms just have nothing in there?
Like the Denzel Washington
and flight rooms.
I can't trust this person
with alcohol in his room
by himself.
In Mark's case,
it's M&M's.
It's M&M's.
Yeah, I clean out
every minute of it.
Thanks for fucking that up.
I think y'all have always
put your cards down.
Not in the beginning.
When it was just me
and you, no.
Oh yeah,
that was before I knew.
Yeah.
I didn't rate that shit.
Say what?
I didn't rate it.
And if I did, I would do liquid, and you could refill it.
Clear liquid.
They know.
No, they don't.
That shit still works to this day.
Unless it's the places that it's weighted, and so they can feel it as soon as you lift it up.
But if it's not the weighted joints, they don't know.
You fill a vodka with water?
Yeah.
Get out of here.
Wow.
Don't get charged because if one guest goes by there's no way they can tell which guest did it yeah exactly now
you're caught in a shuffle yeah so the next guest that drinks it as long as it's like three after
actually it could be the person before you yeah and you could be saving an alcoholic down the line
yeah who's like oh i'm gonna relapse there's vodka in my room let me chug this whole thing
it's just water. This is great.
Okay, so now it doesn't matter
if your card's down.
You found a way around the system.
But I don't do snacks, though.
He's easy snacks.
Hey, Al, that was impressive.
This guy's a Roman, dude.
The way you problem solve.
He never drinks water,
only alcohol, dude.
Oh, shit.
That's a Roman.
You are a fucking Roman, dude.
Your problem solving skills
are on point. You're drunk as fuck while. Your problem-solving skills are on point.
You're drunk as fuck while you're doing it.
Right?
And your conquest.
You just don't do the rhinoceros thing anymore.
But you are basically a Roman, dude.
You're an elite-level Roman.
You're towards the end of the empire.
Yeah.
Yeah, where you don't need to do these savage things anymore.
Give them bread.
Give them circus.
You know?
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second because y'allall gotta stop fucking around and going bald when you don't have to
okay some of you there right now listening or watching on youtube you're like i'm not going
bald yeah maybe sometimes in a in a right light it looks a little funky but i'm not going bald yeah
yeah you are that's how it starts that's how it starts it's the right light starts in the right
light or the wrong light and you know what you can put a stop to it right now. It keeps. Okay. This is the game
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fuck i've been on bro that's what i'm on that's what our cost is on that's what I'm on. That's what Akash is on. That's what Miles is on. Whole squad is on it, okay? And we out here living luxurious because we got luscious motherfucking hair.
Now, let's get back to the show.
What else, guys?
Yo, shouts to the goat.
Shouts to the motherfucking goat, Dr. Umar Johnson.
Yo, dog.
Mr. For Good is married for good and got two women.
He married two women in a ceremony over the weekend.
On IG Live. Unbelievable. I mean, just un-fucking-believable. He married two women in a ceremony over the weekend. On IG Live.
Unbelievable.
I mean, just un-fucking-believable. He did it, yo.
He said it on YouTube a while
ago, months ago. I need two wives.
What did he say? I need a
vegan food wife and a soul food wife
or something like that? Amazing.
Could you tell which was which by looking at them?
You could tell.
You could tell. Which one? Light skin was
vegan? Light skin with the dreads was the vegan.
I saw the opposite.
I saw light skin with dreads
as soul food. It was the hair more than the light skin
for me that was like, ah,
vegan. Okay, okay, okay.
And then the other one was the soul food.
Just straight soul food. Yeah. He's like, I need one
to rub my feet and one to rub my back.
He said that? Yeah. I mean, the guy's a legend.
He's like a supremely fucking talented person.
He's like one of these people that comes up.
I understand dictators, cult leaders, and that kind of stuff when I see Dr. Umar.
Because he's undeniably entertaining to watch.
Like, it's just so much fun to consume him.
Even the whole time, he's just shitting on me me i'm like the ideal person he's shitting on and i'm watching like this is
fucking great yeah right and and he succeeds he continues to do it people fall for it yep they
love it people love he's got just enough truth and just enough good inspiring stuff in it where
you're like okay he kind of has a point i agree with those things he's saying. And he just still exists to this day.
He's making shit up left and right.
He just says he's a doctor.
We're like, all right, fine.
What about dictators is entertaining like Umar though?
I think you have to be that charismatic.
I think in order to be a dictator.
He's got the charisma of a cult leader.
Yeah, like you have to be able to just talk to people.
Like there's something about the way he talks.
He like repeats things a lot, right? hello peace and peace and power peace and power black
people peace and power peace and power like it's almost um what is that uh yeah it's like hypnotic
yeah it's it's it is hypnotic the way he talks you're feeling like a strong black man when you
watch i i will be his third wife i'm gonna be to be Dr. Umar Johnson's third wife.
He wouldn't want you.
He don't want a vegan, a soul food, and an order in.
And an Uber Eats.
You don't want an Uber Eats, doc?
I'm a caviar wife.
What do you guys think? What do you guys think about Umar?
Dude, the two wives
thing is crazy.
It's impressive.
I think only one wife couldn't handle that much bullshit coming at her.
The second one is for her more than for him.
He's like, you listen to him half the time.
It's too many words.
I can't do it.
But I also think he's going to have a reality show in the next year.
I mean, he's got it, right?
Somebody going to give it to him.
It's just so...
I'm trying to think.
Have we ever had a reality show about, like, an openly racist family?
Closeted racist, yeah, but not openly.
And that's the thing.
If there was, like, if they did a reality show on, like, an openly racist white family, we could easily do it with Umar.
But I don't think there's been, like, a Westboro Baptist Church documentary, even though it would be fucking.
There was a documentary, but not a reality show.
He did.
Yeah.
And it was a doc or it was a reality show?
It was a doc.
You said Justin Theroux did that?
I think so, yeah.
Oh, that's fine.
He kicked it with the Westboro Baptist Church people
and learned all their shit.
Yeah, it's a doc.
But doc is different than show.
I'll take a documentary, too.
I will take anything.
Because a documentary would be a reality show.
It would be the only documentary with talking heads,
with each of his wives after every altercation.
I don't remember where I saw it.
I think I saw a documentary in college,
and there's one line.
You're going to have to bleep,
but the lady screams.
She's anti-gay protesting,
and she just goes,
eat feces.
That is a fact.
And I was like, what?
What's the fact about that?
Legend.
And they might not be wrong.
Where's your reference? They're eating more feces than people who don't do that. Legend. And they might not be wrong. What's your reference?
They're eating more feces
than people who don't do that.
How so?
No, we eat ass now.
Bare minimum?
That makes sense.
Straight people eat ass these days.
Yeah, but not as much
as gay people.
If you're sucking a dick
after it's been in a butt,
even if there's maybe
a day that's gone by,
there probably might be
some feces,
some fecal matter around it.
But they're also cleaner,
I think, on average. Who is that? Gay dudes. 100%. They're some clean motherfuckers. So that's why I, there probably might be some feces, some fecal matter around it. But they're also cleaner, I think, on average.
Who is that?
Gay dudes.
100%.
They're some clean motherfuckers.
So that's why I think
there's less feces.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Or, but it could just happen
all in the same night, dude.
It could happen all in the same night.
Sucking and fucking.
I'm sure there's an order to it.
I'm sure there's an order to it.
You really think?
I'm sure it's sucking
and then fucking.
They're men, dude.
There's a PEMDAS.
No, there's a PEMDAS.
There's gotta be PEMDAS.
100%.
Please excuse my dear Uncle Sally. That's what it is, dude. There's a PEMDAS. No, there's a PEMDAS. There's gotta be PEMDAS. 100%. Please excuse my dear Uncle Sally.
That's what it is, dude.
Please excuse my dick and ass.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that at the end of the day,
they're fucking guys.
They're horny as hell.
They're drunk,
and they're not thinking about anything.
I mean, y'all haven't, you know,
y'all haven't, you know,
gone down on a girl's booty
and then it tastes a little bit like shit?
Y'all never licked a booty hole and it tastes like shit?
You're asking the wrong two guys here.
Yeah, for sure.
All right, maybe you guys haven't.
After a shower.
I never tried that.
Not after a shower.
I've been like drunk and shit-faced
and I've been down there and I'd be like,
oh, this is shit.
Shit-faced is the actor.
I was shit-faced before and after.
No, but I've had that.
I've gone down, I've gone down.
I've smelled shit.
You've never been hidden in front of the back, and then the cheeks clap, and a whopper shit
air just came at your face?
That's different.
Come on, now.
You've had that?
Come on.
Yeah.
Come on.
That's different, yeah.
I do that all the time.
Yo, yo, yo, you need to get rid of something before we finish this.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You got one coming?
You got to have a dude wipe on hand, bro.
You got to have a condom in your wallet
and a dude wipe just in case.
Condom, something, man.
Just a book.
Just I'm going to block it, dog.
Just put something over that shit.
Just put the dude wipe, plug it up.
That's why I put the thumb in there
for the smell,
not to make her feel good.
I'm just like, let me plug that shit.
You got a gas leak.
Yeah, he's got a gas leak.
Let me plug this up right quick.
100%. This is why Dr. Umura would never want you, bro. did. He had a gas leak. Let me plug this up right quick. 100%.
This is why Dr. Umura
would never want you, bro.
That's what?
That's why Dr. Umura
wouldn't want you.
Because?
You're filthy, though.
I'm a filthy dude, man.
White people are filthy, bro.
Maybe that's why
he don't like you.
Maybe he's just a clean freak.
He's a clean freak.
He's a doctor.
He's a fucking doctor.
He's a doctor.
He likes good hygiene.
Get the hands,
put on the fucking gloves
and the scrubs, man.
Yeah, dude.
Pretty ballsy to have a ceremony getting married to two women because that is illegal.
Which do you kiss first?
It's illegal.
You can't marry two people.
You're right about that.
That's right.
So he's like publicly committing a crime.
Now, that is if he does it legally, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If he does it within the legal. Just signing paper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then he probably does it like how the Mormons do it within the uh just signing people yeah yeah then he probably
does it like like how the mormons do it what's that how do they do i don't know i mean they're
multiple wives but i doubt that on paper yeah that's just that's the nanny there's one on paper
and then there's the rest are just like my side bitches yeah yeah so how do you choose what's on
paper who's the paper bitch the first one But if they got married at the same time.
Oh, they don't do it at the same time.
You got to add wives.
With the Mormon shit.
It's like, get your family straight with this one, and then you add on.
That's why he's legit.
He's like, nah, let me have both my bitches right here.
I already know who I am.
I know what I can handle.
Man, he put it in the universe, and he just did it.
This was his index card.
Donations, bro.
He's going to start something.
I guarantee you.
Start something.
Like, this is going to be a trend. What something. Like, this is going to be a trend.
What do you mean?
This is going to be a trend.
You're going to see more people doing this.
You think he invented polygamy?
Alex, this has existed for thousands of years.
Showing it.
Showing it.
Showing it.
Yeah.
Like, I guarantee you future will have like three or four.
Like, they're just going to have to top them.
Just like have ceremonies.
No, but actual ceremonies.
Because weddings are expensive,
so that's a flex just the wedding alone.
You've got to get three families in there, bro.
Three families, crazy.
I have a feeling that there's not extensive family.
You're a few dads missing.
They got walked down the aisle by themselves.
Not a lot of plus ones.
By a brother, maybe.
Okay, what else we got? What else we got? Feel the aisle by themselves. Not a lot of plus ones. By a brother, maybe. Yeah.
Okay, what else we got?
What else we got?
Feelings, no facts.
We got McGregor and Machine Gun Kelly going at it.
This is interesting.
Yeah, it is.
You know what I find interesting about the Conor McGregor, Machine Gun Kelly thing?
Yeah.
They had a little beef at the VMAs.
Seeing both of their PR teams try to be the first one to start the story.
Yeah.
Was fascinating.
So Machine Gun Kelly's team dropped it first.
And this is what I read on people, I think.
And they put out the best thing ever.
Yeah.
Connor attacked him after Machine Gun Kelly said he wasn't willing to take a picture with Connor.
Yeah.
Which is.
I also read he wanted a picture with megan fox
and she said no and then he got upset there's multiple very there's a tons of stories out there
right but but the idea that like connor was a fanboy and you were like nah nah i'm good yeah
that's a wild flex that's a super flex yeah right connor's team is like no that didn't happen at all
i forget exactly what connor said they said it was something like he didn't even know who Machine Gun Kelly was.
He said Conor only fights fighters.
Yeah, he doesn't fight...
Which isn't true.
He punched an old man.
Yeah, he punched an old man.
He also threw the water bottle
at Machine Gun Kelly and had to be held back.
He fought a bus.
He threw a forklift at a bus, basically.
This guy will fight anything.
He could fight a rhino.
That guy could take a rhino, 100%.
He would be a rhino hunter.
100%.
He would be a rhino hunter.
Yeah, he's got it in him.
I'm going to put out a movie
called Rhino Hunter,
and it's going to be
the greatest movie.
How have they not made a movie about it?
It's a spite all of you.
It's the sequel to Shark Night.
And you know what?
It's going to be directed
by not Alex Meeb.
That's who it's going to be.
I will have Shark Night, too.
We'll make Shark Night.
Rhino Night.
That was another thing you said,
is how have they not made
a movie about this?
I thought it was going to be so fucking epic,
Doug. You've got to understand the expectations
you set. The movie is coming.
The movie is coming. It will be directed.
Four minutes long. It will be directed by
fucking Steven Spielberg. A short
film. It will be written by David Fincher.
It will be directed by Steven Spielberg, and it will be
about getting the animals
to run. You think he's going to go
from fucking Jurassic Park and dinosaurs
to taking cubs?
It's actually in the ballpark.
That's actually not a good argument.
He would do it.
Not in the ballpark.
He's going to do it.
He's going to do it.
You're going to ask for a role.
I'm going to let you play a role.
What's he going to do?
He's going to be a stick that they fucking use to prod the rhinoceros.
Just stand straight right there.
We'll let you poke a fucking rhino.
And then Al, you don't get to do anything in it.
You get to watch it.
You're excited when you say the cub story, though.
I thought it was genius.
You're so excited.
Dude, the fuck?
How do you steal a cub?
And it would catch up?
Are you serious?
And it would drop one?
How do you steal a cub?
The mother's got to go get food for the cub.
So you just got to sit there and wait.
You got to watch.
On a horse, bro.
The horse doesn't go as fast as the tiger. holding four cats so they gotta scoop up four cats what
are you gonna hold them in a basket do you have a chariot do you have a chariot
y'all don't even know the levels of relaxing going on son
like y'all even know like do y'all know that fucking augustus
tried to come out with a chariot that didn't
have horses in the front it had lions uh but that's kind of that's not fire that's fire you
can't herd cats that's why they have that saying yeah august you can't you can't mark you can't
but are you augustus well you said he tried did he succeed i feel in that shit
he tried he went for it dog they was trying to go for in that shit. I'm just saying he tried. He tried.
He went for it, dog.
They was trying to go for it back in the day.
I just think you led with a bad example.
You still didn't get to rhinoceros.
Fuck you both.
I want you both to fuck each other's mouths.
You still haven't told us how rhinoceros happened.
Okay.
Rhinoceros is none of your business.
You won't appreciate it.
You can never understand.
I'm making the movie.
Both of your scenes are getting cut out.
Fair enough.
Yeah.
We're going to feed Al to the fucking rhinoceros.
Okay?
Do the opposite of Ace Ventura.
You're getting put in the rhinoceros.
Yeah.
That's what you're doing.
Okay.
What else?
What else we got?
Machine Gun Kelly.
I think it's a PR stunt.
Interesting.
I think.
Connor's in on it or not?
I think Connor's in on it.
I think he can't be spiraling this badly.
I also think Machine Gun Kelly needs something all the time
because none of us know his music.
We're also old. Some know.
That's the thing that I realized.
I'm with you on that and I had that perspective on him
for a while, but apparently he had a number one song.
He's doing this rock thing and it's basically
younger girls
are into him. Yes.
That I believe. The music isn't for our generation.
We just remember him obviously from the Eminem beef and before when he was a rapper.
So we're like, oh yeah, so we should be into your new music.
But the reality is no.
Was he big as a rapper?
He was always like very like connected industry and had like a devout following.
That's what I remember.
He was known. He had a couple of songs did he manage them so he was always connected yeah yeah
yeah did he manage him i think he's one of those guys industry but and maybe i'm just old quite
possible i think he's one of those guys that maybe he's an industry plant the talent isn't as big as
the star power of and part of that means you got to keep the PR machine rolling.
We know entertainers whose talent is fine,
good maybe,
but somehow they're just always in the tabloids.
Kendrick can drop an album whenever he wants
and then become the talk of the town.
There are other people
that need to constantly be the talk of the town
because they can't necessarily go back
to the album or to the art to do it.
Now, I guess the pushback
that he would have on that is like, I just have a
number one fucking song. The music
is there. And then a lot of people
thought that he got Eminem on that
in the battle.
He didn't do bad. He didn't do badly.
I also was more so, I was like, oh, Eminem
didn't really bring it like he normally does as opposed to
Machine Gun Kelly fucking ripped it.
Which, if you show up to a fight
and you don't fight that good, that's a L.
Yeah, I just, he has a number one song.
Again, to me, you can get a number one song just off of being famous.
And I think he's a guy that is, I'm going to drive the tabloids,
and that will drive the career.
And that could very well be wrong.
But to me, him and Conor having a thing, that's headlines for Conor,
which he always thrives on, and that's headlines for MGK.
It looks like he's defending his girl in a certain way.
It's like, all right, well, this is good for both of them.
I see that.
I can see that point.
I think what's happening right now is that Conor is in like an incredibly sensitive state
because the thing that he has identified as for the largest part of his life,
I would say the majority of his life,
is being able to fuck people up.
Yeah.
And he physically can't do it right now.
And I think that that's affecting
the rest of his psyche as well.
Like, you ever have a bad show?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
And, like, there's insecurity that comes with that show.
Yeah, yeah, it ruins your whole day.
But you're also, like, looking to be validated, right?
At any point in time, if somebody messaged you,
yo, I just saw this clip, it was fucking hilarious,
oh, that feels really good.
Now I'm going to stop thinking these negative thoughts
that I have in my head about how I'm bad,
and I'm going to be like, oh, maybe people think that I'm pretty good.
But if anything gets sent out that confirms those negative thoughts
that you have in your head, it's a real problem.
In deeper.
Exactly, because that's what you're feeling
and then someone just confirmed it.
So imagine you're feeling insecure.
Yeah.
And I'm not saying this did happen,
but imagine you're feeling insecure
and then you ask somebody for a picture
and they say no.
If he's already feeling insecure,
like he's losing his grasp of control
in terms of him being an elite fighter, him being the talk of the town in the conversation with MMA.
And now this other celebrity says, I don't want to take a picture with you.
That's your biggest fear.
Are you losing it?
Is it going away?
Or even he just was a little bit like he bumped into him or whatever.
Something small.
It could not be a picture, but it could be like he kind of bumped him and shoved him off.
It's like, wait, does this fucking civilian think just because he's taller than me and I'm on one leg, I can't fuck him up?
Is that how far I've fallen in this perception?
Yeah.
Is that how much I'm not a fighter to people anymore?
Is this fucking.
Because let's be honest, the people that fuck people up, like the people are real beasts.
Yeah.
At least the ones that I've met in my life are the
nicest kindest individuals nothing to prove nothing if you really feel like you could fuck anybody up
you laugh when somebody says something yeah someone talks some shit you're like all right
buddy yeah i've seen a lot of guys who could really destroy like end people's lives do this
all right buddy just calm down yeah because they know if it really gets to the shits
it's a wrap right and i don't think that connor right now in his state and understandably so
is at the level to be like all right buddy that's cute yeah yeah i look i think it's a megan fox
thing what do you mean like the way that they were interacting like i've watched this did you
see the video of the whole thing i only saw yeah i just i saw the video of the water thing okay so like him like throwing the water out and like
getting held off but then i saw an interview after where they asked machine gun kelly and
megan fox what was going on and and like the whole interview actually no it was before the
altercation but their whole interaction their whole energy is so bizarre so like they're talking
to the reporter and they were like all right so megan like why did you wear this why did you wear
the outfit and she was like oh because daddy said he wanted me naked and then they're like what and
then machinima kelly's just standing in the back like yeah and then like they're making out on
camera yeah they're really going for that so like they're they have this weird like daddy complex
thing where she's like yeah i just do what daddy wants like that's the whole situation isn't he
younger than her yes and i think that i can see part of it. But I could see Connor being like, oh, I know Megan Fox.
Let me say what's up.
And then she has to report up to her daddy.
And then they have the beef.
So that's what I assumed it was.
Interesting.
Because I can't imagine Connor knows or cares who Machine Gun Kelly is.
But I think he does care who Megan Fox is.
I cannot imagine Connor wants a picture of Machine Gun Kelly.
I can see him wanting a picture of Megan Fox.
I could see the Megan Fox thing, even though he was there with Wifey. Yeah, but it's like, let me get a picture of Machine Gun Kelly. I can see him wanting a picture of Megan Fox. I could see the Megan Fox thing, even though he was there with Wifey.
Yeah, but it's like, let me get a picture of Megan Fox.
And she's an iconic figure.
Yeah.
Of course, he's probably seen her in fucking movies for the last decade.
Yeah.
So that's interesting.
She was famous before he was famous.
Yeah, 100%.
She's so trash.
She's calling him daddy.
Who, Machine Gun Kelly?
Yeah, I just dropped her down a bunch of notches in my book but
i think what's happening and i don't okay like the most cynical version of me goes
all right the whole relationship is constructed because you have these two figures that people
are kind of interested in they're famous enough but when their powers combine all the something
there it's really interesting right all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because summer's coming to an end and the leaves are about to fall while
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Policy Genius, when it comes to insurance,
it's nice to get it right.
Now let's get back to the show.
They're interesting people to look at.
Megan is absolutely stunning.
Like she's one of the most beautiful celebs out there.
She looks like a pinup girl. She looked like she's tattoo of the most beautiful celebs out there she looks like a pin-up girl
like she looked like she's tattooed on like navy people's arm back in the day like world war ii
tattoos like stunning right and the machine gun kelly is an interesting thing to look at yeah
he's wearing the fucking rhinestones on his face yeah like so now you combine them and it's just
you're multiplying right yeah i'll stare at them boom he's also tall i think he's like six five
yeah big kid right so so now all of a sudden like you know blogs are picking it up and everybody loves
a relationship right they're kind of interesting and i think what happens is the most cynical
version is like they plan this like they've planned past relationships of famous people
and then they just are leaning into the things that work oh we're gonna do the angelina jolie
uh what was the other guy's name billy bob billy bob thing where we're like super sexual and like into it like a lot of the posts on instagram are like oh my god
what happened on this table this weekend's gotta be you know it can't be shared or whatever like
that it's like it's this oversharing of the sexualization of a relationship and it almost
seems like i i see what you're doing here now the most cynical version is the whole thing is contrived and and and orchestrated and put together the more realistic take is they like each other they
started dating the tabloids loved it and they realized they were getting way more press for
their relationship maybe than the other things going on in their lives her movies his you know
music etc so they're like this is the movie this is the movie. This is the music.
This is the clout.
Let's lean into this thing, and we get mutual benefit.
Megan Fox could look at it as the hot girl again.
She's in her 30s, has had kids.
People always thought she was hot, but maybe she wasn't the hot chick.
We forgot about her.
Yeah, maybe there was other girls.
There were also Margot Robbie's coming in looking pretty hot.
We're not thinking about Megan.
The thing about being a hot girl is there's always another hot girl coming.
Boom. But now everybody's talking about her her and you don't think that her manager
and them got the google analytics and i'm like yo people are searching your name 10 000 times more
when you and him are making out in public so and then they're doing the same with him they're going
yo people are searching your name 10 000 times more when you guys wear something crazy it validates
him sexual boom so it kind of like reminds us of her and it validates him.
Yeah, it's like when everybody thought that Tom Cruise was gay and all of a sudden he
got married twice.
Yeah.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, my man got married and then married again.
He was like, I am not gay.
Dr. Umar, bro.
Dr. Umar on that ass.
Right?
Like, the dude was with the redhead, Nicole Kidman.
Then Penelope Cruz, like, took down two baddies.
Right.
Right?
And they were like, oh, he's not gay.
He's just weird.
You know what I mean
and then he was like
I'm cool with that
as long as y'all call me weird
I can still be the leading man
if I'm weird
I still think he's gay
I still think he's gay
you know what I mean
but enough of the Midwest
motherfuckers were like
alright you can still do
Mission Impossible
you know what I mean
I'll keep watching
Mark brought up a point
about
this is an MGK point
Mark brought up something
and I think it was an interesting question
he asked you Al
and I didn't get an answer is
how do you feel about
white rappers who transition into rock?
Was that what you asked?
Yeah
Yeah
Because I always think it's a little bit like
it looks a little bit like
you just kind of used
rap and black people
to elevate yourself
and then you transition
to something more mainstream
Sometimes it depends how they do it
So like Post Malone, for example, he was a little sketchy with White Iverson.
Corn Rose, White Iverson, Phantom doing donuts and shit like that.
And then quickly switched up and showed kind of who he really is.
But like if you, what was that other guy?
The guy also from, I texas with like big
teeth and shit like that no no no another weird looking dude oh bubba sparks not even him
it's a fucking uh it's a new guy riffraff oh yeah yeah like that is somebody like if he switched
over to like country or whatever i'd be like oh yeah you would just use this you just use the
culture just to get you on and then you switched up because it looks so performative so it kind of defense
depends how you how you do it we were talking about this with derrick poston well sorry what
were you i was saying i kind of thought that about mgk a little bit i was like oh you used it and
then you became it's the kid rock shit i felt i felt that about kid rock is you were like this
rap rock guy and now you're like this kind of kind of alt-right type like country you know country mother and it's like kid rock kid rock yeah that's what you're doing
and then i don't get this i don't think mgk is by any stretch gonna go alt-right but i get a similar
like you just kind of use this and then transition into no now you're a rock star but i think people
can have different genres of music inside them like there are rappers that change their shit up
and then they start singing a little bit more.
And, like, there are B-stars that start, like, rapping.
And then there are, like,
fucking rock musicians
that go into fucking country,
like Darius Rucker and shit.
If you want to get into music
that you're not stepping on
black people to get there,
like, there's no music.
You know what I mean?
Like, all music, like,
is pioneered by black people.
So, like, even if he does rock,
it's still black music.
So he's still fucking
with the same genre.
Yeah, it just feels
a little bit different. I understand what you're saying. You're looking at still fucking with the same genre. Yeah. It just feels a little bit different.
I understand what you're saying.
You're looking at the most cynical version of it.
Yeah.
And maybe I'm cynical about him because he also almost fought Andrew at the VMAs.
Nah.
Charlemagne.
Charlemagne.
I was just backing up Charlemagne.
Of course.
That's my guy.
But yeah, man.
It's like, yeah, the VMAs are a hot one for him.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, it's interesting. We were having this conversation hot one for him yeah yeah yeah but yeah it's interesting
we're having this this conversation with derrick posen who's been opening up on infamous tour
uh because akash doesn't like us and uh and has more important things to do so uh but no no derrick
derrick is fucking great and uh he was we were having this conversation about like white rappers
and it was like what you need to do to be a white rapper and you either need to be funny like actually
hilarious funny jack harlow jack harlow uh or an eminem or troubled severely troubled
right and there's probably other like white rappers that are like a mac miller was like
like trouble there was something going on the little zan was like that was his whole ego like that was
his whole essence that he was just like sad troubled confused like and we were and then and
i was asking derrick and al i think you were there too right and it was just like what is that and uh
i think there i think derrick was just saying it's like well yeah like funny always wins like
you just find respect always and then if you're troubled, it's almost like he's too fucked up to let him know he's stealing
a black shirt.
He's about to kill himself anyway.
Don't don't don't force him over there.
Is there something?
Yeah.
There's like a little empathy for people really going through it.
Yeah.
So I thought that was interesting.
And if you're in the middle ground, like Post Malone was in the middle.
He's like, I just want to have fun and do music.
And it was like, uh, black people were like, not like you Malone was in the middle. He's like, I just want to have fun and do music. And it was like, uh-uh-uh.
Black people were like, you're either going to make us laugh
or you're going to almost kill yourself
if you're going to do this hip-hop shit.
And he was like, I am a rock musician.
Immediately.
And that is the fun genre.
That's the genre you get to just fucking party and shit.
And Post looks a little troubled.
Say what?
He looks a little trouble.
He looks it, but he's jovial.
He smiles.
He's funny with a buddy.
Seems like a great guy.
Seems like a fun hang.
Yeah.
I've heard stories of him just drinking, playing beer pong and shit.
Yeah.
He just seems like a hang.
I don't know.
It was so funny.
To go back to the Jack Harlow thing, did you see Jack Harlow approach?
God, I sound like such a fucking teenager jack harlow approached
sweetie this is back in the bt awards maybe or something like that so he walks up to to sweetie
and introduces himself and uh he goes he goes how you doing i'm jack or something like that like
looks her up and down how you doing i'm jack right yesterday at the vmas he's walking the red carpet
and he sees little nas x and he walks up to Lil Nas X and does the same thing.
Hilarious.
He looks Lil Nas X up and down, and Lil Nas X goes,
Jack, don't do anything sus.
The gay dude got to tell the straight dude not to do sus shit.
I was like, oh, that's fire, bro.
That's funny.
The guy's funny.
Funny wins.
Funny wins, man.
Yeah, now he gets it.
There was a couple fights over the weekend did
you guys see i didn't watch the fights i saw highlights though yeah that's all you needed
yeah this one was the least i've never been less interested in a thriller fight usually they're
good at spectacle and like having this kind of like i have to watch this whatever it is and this
time i was like no there wasn't someone to pull you in no and holyfield apparently was the last
second fill-in too.
It was supposed to be Oscar versus Vitor Belfort,
and I think Oscar would have pulled some casuals in.
Yes.
I don't know if it does what Jake Paul does or something like that
or even like Holyfield or whatever, but not Holyfield,
Mike Tyson and Roy Jones.
But I think Oscar is a big enough name.
Let's see if Oscar still got it.
Right.
Roy Jones.
But I think Oscar's a big enough name.
Let's see if Oscar still got it.
Right.
And,
but what was interesting was Anderson Silva fought.
Yeah.
And he fought Tito Ortiz.
And he knocked out Tito Ortiz.
And it almost looked like
scripted,
the way that he knocked him out.
But the way that Tito went down,
it seemed very legit.
Like he seemed like truly concussed.
Did you guys see that?
I did.
I didn't see the knockout. No, I the noggin but um it sets up a really interesting fight i think anderson
silva versus jake paul he thinks so i'll tell you why he wants it yeah yeah they all do i'll tell
you why though anderson's i i think jake paul is smart to continue to fight MMA guys.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because it enrages the MMA community and he needs animosity for the interests.
Yeah.
He has to do the Mayweather thing where people are paying to see the guy lose.
Yeah.
Right?
I think that he'll eventually get more and more fans that want to see him win and knock these people out.
But a lot of people are going to watch these fights because they want to see him get his ass kicked.
Yeah.
And Anderson, when he was the best fighter in the fucking world, I think beats anybody.
But now he's, what, 48 or something?
46?
He's up there.
He's up there.
He's up there.
But he's a nice fucking boxer.
He just beat Julio Cesar Chavez Jr.
Okay.
Who was a pretty legit boxer he just beat julio cesar chavez jr okay like who was
it was a pretty legit boxer in his day so i think what jake needs to do is continue
picking away at mma guys and anderson has enough legacy anderson has enough popularity anderson
has enough support in the mma community but he also has the boxing pedigree where people are like, okay, this is going to be
the MMA guy to take out Jake.
And this way he can continue to drive the wedge
with the UFC. He gets to talk all the shit
he wants about Dana White and fighter pay and all
that other stuff. I'm going to give Anderson Silva his
biggest payday ever, just like I gave Tyron his biggest
payday. Really enrage
the MMA community, which is
the strongest community in fight sports
right now. Get them all to support
Anderson Silva. Every one of those fighters
that came up watching Anderson Silva thinking he was
the greatest fighter that's ever existed.
There was a time where I think he had fucking won
10 fights in a row. He was just unbelievable
in his heyday. I think
that is the next fight to make
for Jake. And similar height and weight.
They are similar height and weight.
Now we're getting into, it's not like he's taking advantage of a smaller guy. Ben Askren's a small guy. Tyron Woodley's smaller than Jake. And similar height and weight. They are similar height and weight. Now we're getting into, it's not like he's taking
advantage of a smaller guy. Ben Askren's a small guy.
Tyron Woodley's smaller than Jake.
Anderson Silver's 6'2", 185.
Now Jake
probably walks around over two. Anderson will
fuck him up. And that's what we need people to think.
I was just watching the highlight of how
he caught him. Great head movement.
Just came around,
counter hook. That was impressive.
And comfortable.
Yeah.
It looks like more boxing than an MMA fighter.
Way more.
That was impressive.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really comfortable in the pocket, which I think could be dangerous for Jake because he's able to take advantage of MMA guys and not being comfortable in the pocket.
Because if it's an MMA fight, you only need some part of the fist to touch your head and you're going down.
Yeah. So there isn't a lot of that bobbing, weaving like we were seeing in there.
Whereas boxing, it's like you got your gloves kind of covering up.
You can move around.
I'm just saying that to me, I think, fuck boxers.
Don't fight Tommy Fury.
Don't fight any of the boxers.
Fight MMA guys with big enough names, pedigrees, and resumes where the whole MMA community is behind them
and let that drive the fucking...
I don't think he wants Anderson Silva, though.
I agree. It's a tough fight.
That's a tough fight.
Anderson Silva will fuck him up.
You had to go rounds with Tyron Woodley,
who's a decent striker, but not amazing.
Anderson Silva, I think, could...
But he's older.
The guy's 48.
Is he 48?
46, according to this. 46. To me, he looked old, and that's where I was like, I don't know, man. I don't know if he's older the guy's 48 is he 48 46 46 to me he looked old and that's
where i was like i don't know man i don't know if he's gonna hold up he just looked old and the
punch is great but also who is he fighting tito ortiz he's not a boxer is he he was an mma guy
also right yeah i don't to me if i don't know shit it seemed like a lateral move in the sense
that like all right you fought one m MMA guy who can kind of fight.
This one's a better striker, but also much older.
And it seemed like a lateral move in that sense.
The challenge, I think, needs to seem a little bit bigger
for me to seem interested.
And maybe Anderson Silva will do it.
Maybe you guys will convince me
by the time the fight rolls around, I'll buy it again.
I think if you were a bigger MMA fan.
Yeah, that's the thing is these MMA,
I was looking at the fucking story as I was researching,
and these fans were like,
this is going to be the guy to knock out Jake.
And it's like every single fight,
this guy, I can't wait until this guy knocks out Jake.
They are just dying.
And they're so sure every next guy
that gets brought up is going to knock out Jake Paul.
And they want it to happen so badly.
And to your point,
that's what's going to make money.
Monetize that feeling.
You got it, yeah. People aren't going to buy money. Monetize that feeling. You got it. Yeah.
People aren't going to buy a fight.
They're kind of interested in seeing the outcome.
You want to see a motherfucker get knocked
out, you're buying. Emotional investment.
Emotionally invested for 50 bucks.
That's not nothing. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
How good is Anderson Silva's English?
He
pretended to not speak English
back in the day so that he wouldn't have to do the shit talk with
like chael sonnen but he's actually yeah he can speak english he's good could he shit talk with
jake to build a fight so he's an interesting one because he's never really been a shit talker
that's what i'm saying well but he also trolls big time so he trolls in the fight but i think
before he's capable of doing as well so So like, yeah, I don't know.
Again, you want him to be able to help build the hype for the fight.
He's going to have more genuine interest than Tyron.
But Tyron, the week of the fight, really built it up.
Tyron killed it the week of.
He fucking murdered it.
I wasn't interested until the week of.
Earned his money.
Yep.
He earned his money.
He murdered it.
So what is Anderson going to do to build it up, right?
He's not going to tap into any like racial
division right because while he's a black dude he's a black dude from brazil they have their own
yeah kind of like colorism thing going on yeah um so that's not gonna be something that maybe he's
not gonna go all black lives matter on jake paul or all why are you trying to be hip-hop or something
like that his issues are completely detached from that yeah So this is going to be like, he's going to have to really pretend to go, I want to beat him for the MMA community.
So you put the respect on Stryker.
And I don't even know if he feels that.
I think he's just like, I'm 46.
I'm trying to make a few million before I finish this fighting shit.
And then also, how big is that audience you're tapping into versus someone else that you can just tap into?
Yo, I want to smash you like on some racial shit,
like on some other thing.
I think his name and maybe.
The name is big.
maybe me because I was all head UFC.
Right.
Like he was the biggest.
Yeah.
When you were doing,
probably when you were doing martial arts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was the greatest martial artist.
Yeah.
And so impressive because he can do everything.
He can strike.
He can get, kill you on the ground.
The defense was fucking phenomenal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is the fight I would want.
I'm thinking from Jake's perspective, he's like, all right, he's a good fighter.
He's got hands.
He's like a champion.
It's risky, and he might not bring much to the-
And he's not going to bring a ton.
Like, let me fight a fucking another basketball player.
Tomato can, yeah.
Yeah.
Like-
Crazy thing, and I'll give this up to you.
Isn't this the fucking bout that Trump was announcing?
Yes.
The Holyfield one.
But I mean, this is in the same pipeline.
Yeah, yeah.
No one's talking about that shit.
No one's talking about it.
Like Jake Paul has a bigger draw than the ex-president.
Oh, yeah.
Why are you giving it up to me?
What did I say?
No, just because you said like Jake Paul's the biggest draw of any fighter.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's crazy.
I had this thought, too.
That's crazy.
Jake Paul might be saving boxing.
Yeah.
Because not even that, just, I think MMA, as it got more and more popular,
they looked at boxing as, like, it's this thing, we can all do it.
Jake Paul is proving you can take elite MMA, not necessarily strikers,
but elite MMA fighters, put them in a boxing ring, and then a Disney star who's been training in boxing for three years can kick the shit out of them.
Yeah, maybe what we were doing with Brendan that I was saying that or something like that.
Oh, okay.
But you're 100% right.
Because Anderson was like, I'm taking the art of boxing so seriously.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, they're realizing how different it is.
It's not like, oh oh we do everything i kick
your ass in a boxing match yeah yeah i think connor and floyd we all knew floyd is gonna win
but some people thought connor would and now we're like yo it's not even the best in the world it's
not even the best ever it's a fucking disney star yeah who puts out youtube videos but's trained for
three years can beat an mma guy yeah elite mma fighter exactly so when training for months when
you say you're saving boxing, it's not
like you're bringing
attention to boxing. It's you're putting
respect on the skill. Yeah, you're reestablishing
respect for the sport that was kind of
starting to get forgotten as like a second tier.
UFC, they do everything. These guys can
box. Who gives a fuck? Yeah.
Boxing is a different animal. It's not
something that's just part of the MMA package.
It is its own skill.
And if you do not train it by itself when fighting somebody within that discipline, you will lose.
Even if they have far less fight experience than you, like way less.
It doesn't even matter.
It is its own specific skill.
It's kind of pretty cool.
It just needs to have like the infrastructure and personalities that the UFC does.
And they just do that so fucking brilliantly.
Yeah.
It's really amazing.
Really amazing.
What else we got, Mark?
Can we take a quick break really fast?
Yes, we can.
I got to get my iPhone charging.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second because some of y'all fucking stink.
Boy, dude.
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You need to change that for the fellas you hang out with. You need to change that for your girl you need to change that
for the fellas you hang out with you need to change that for your shirts your shirts smell
you have body odor okay and you have to put a stop to that body odor it's absolutely disgusting
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Okay, that's nativedo, D-E-O dot com slash flagrant or use the promo code flagrant at checkout for 20 off your first order now let's get
back to the show oh and also i want to shout out my boy laurent who became a father okay over the
past week yes yes yes yes yes shout out to him and his wife i'll you know leave his wife's name out
here because i don't know if he wants to share the family you know we're protected of the loved
ones over here on flagrant too but she did all the work so congrats to you um and, you know, we're protected of the loved ones over here on Flagrant, too. But she did all the work, so congrats to you.
And, you know, Laurent, you guys probably know Laurent because he is the maestro behind Jerk Your Meat.
You guys sold out his whole inventory last time we talked about it on the podcast.
And my man, since he was doing absolutely nothing while his wife was pushing out the baby, Laurent, he did nothing.
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That's love, okay?
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This is the love, okay?
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And you guys should support him if you can, if you want to try some great jerky.
That pineapple is a little crazy.
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Enjoy.
Let's get back to the show.
All right.
Just to put a button on this like fighter combo.
I saw an interesting thing.
This is old, but Khabib was on Mike Tyson's podcast.
Oh, yeah.
That was great.
It was really interesting because the conversation about shit talk to promote a fight came up.
And who was the other guy on the Triple Champ?
What the fuck is his name? Is the other guy on the Mike Tyson podcast what's the fuck is his name is the other guy on
the mike tyson podcast i only know not the other small guy yeah i forget his fucking name my bad
i'm sorry i forgot your name bro uh but the triple champ says uh you know because khabib brings it up
and then he got the triple channel but don't you think there's certain things you just can't talk
trash about you know like religion or someone's mother and it might just take a second
he goes man i just know in this game anything goes and i thought it was really interesting
although it's really interesting just like in this game anything goes anything fucking goes
like there aren't rules you know it makes sense to me because he he said he
was gonna eat people's children yeah he also i mean the guy swindled him but he was managed by
don king king promoter anything goes anything goes so i think he's also on a certain end when
he says anything goes like it's a dirty fucking game on every end so whatever is said it's all
shit but it makes sense that coming up under one
of the greatest promoters of all time yeah you're like yeah anything goes just got to make anything
go yeah it'd be nice if people didn't talk about your mom it'd be nice if people didn't talk about
your religion but the idea that like these things are not allowed it's like people die in the ring
dude like you're going in there and a guy he's not trying to kill you but if that's what happens he's okay with that yeah right like if you punch a guy in the face enough and
then they end up dying like you're not shocked at that yeah if you're a boxer an mma fighter you
know that this has happened many times he said i've had friends die in there that's it it's what
it is so if if that's what i'm going in thinking i'm not really worried about talking
shit about your religion or your mom yeah it's fucked up yes are there things that are like
messed up yes but is there this rule in fight sports that you can't we all know that doesn't
exist if anything i would rather you do it to help me kick it into an extra gear so i can win this
fight because i'm gonna take every fucking inch i could get when we're both fighting essentially
for our lives that's the thing like there's certain people like I get more motivated by talking shit because now I got to back up the shit talk.
Yeah.
So sometimes I'll talk shit just so I put the pressure on myself to deliver.
Right.
You know, because if I don't talk shit, it's like, hey, everybody good.
We're all good friends.
My friend won, but he's a good guy.
Fuck that guy.
That guy hates me.
I want you to say something to me
to let me know that you hate me so that i could wake up at 6 a.m every single day and be training
for the maniacal you gave me the excuse when i saw connor say he was going to promote dustin's
hot sauce i was like oh it's over like yeah connor doesn't have a chance you're in business with this
guy yeah you don't want to take this guy's head off.
You want to promote his hot sauce.
It's like that saying,
we always say it in the pockets,
two countries that have a McDonald's
have never gone to war
since they've gone to have a McDonald's.
Once you guys have mutual assured income
or benefit or business,
you're not going extra on that man.
No.
You know what I mean?
And it might not even be conscious.
Like when you're in that dark fucking pain cave and you're like, do I push through and
try to fucking kill this guy?
My nose is broken.
I don't feel like it.
Yeah.
Or do I just kind of hope for a decision and hope it works out?
And sell his hot sauce.
Yeah.
So talk all the shit.
Yes.
Help me fight.
Use that term.
Help me fight through that pain cave.
Yeah.
Let me get through this.
Talk all that.
I want to remember when you said my wife is a towel. I want remember that so now let's fucking go yeah and when i win i win yeah
now that is true also guy's name was henry cejudo henry cejudo yeah fuck my bad henry sorry about
that my dude you're a fucking beast um yo let's talk some more de partes we got some uh well we
got some we got some football de partes We got some football
And then we got some tennis
You said you wanted to talk about the tennis
I know you're a big tennis fan
I'm not a big tennis fan
You are
I wish I was
If you're a man that follows tennis at all, you're a big tennis fan
Then I'm a big tennis fan
Tennis is basically baseball to me
I think if you are a fan of
It's almost volleyball
It is volleyball
It's not as boring as baseball It's not volleyball It is volleyball There's a net It's volleyball
It's nowhere as boring as baseball
It's not as boring
But it is a girl's sport
It's for women
These people are actual athletes
Like tennis is for women
These people are actual
Like they're actually playing a sport
Where baseball you stand there
You run every once in a while
They're not really athletes
They're just like rich people
And then finally two poor people
Join the sport
And they just dominated
For the last fucking 20 years
Actually no
One of them wasn't poor Only Only one of them might have been
poor. Venus and Serena were related.
I'm talking about men's tennis.
I'm talking about men's tennis.
I'm talking about women's tennis.
Women's is the only one that's interesting.
No, dude. I'm telling you, if you're a fan
of greatness, this is the
coolest time in maybe any sport ever.
The three greatest of all time
are playing right now. In any sport, if that was happening,
you'd be like, you have to appreciate this.
I'm not a big fan of tennis right now, but this is
the best time to watch.
Is this what it felt like
in the beginning of the podcast?
Is this what it felt like?
No, because this is actually interesting.
This is actually interesting.
Why are you closeted?
Why is tennis actually interesting?
It's far less impressive than a rhinoceros.
The three greatest of any...
Is he getting a fucking yellow ball over a net?
Yeah, yeah, but the three greatest of all time
are doing it right now at the same time.
Oh.
Oh, my.
If you lose a tennis match, what happens?
If you lose a rhino match,
if you lose a rhino match, you're dead.
He said he's taking baby cubs.
Ain't nothing going to happen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, go back to your little fault.
So the three greatest of all time are playing at the same time.
If you're watching, like, all this shit, we're like,
I would love to see.
How great are they?
I would love to see Montana and Brady, you know, lead football teams.
How great are they?
Like, give me an example of how great are they.
So you have tournaments like championships, basically.
Yeah.
The greatest of all time before had 14.
Okay. There are now three guys with 20.
Each. So neither of them is that great?
No, they're the three greatest of all time.
They're also average. Yeah, but they're just like,
no one's dominant. Like, you're basically looking at the least
dominant time in tennis. You're looking at the most
dominant time in tennis. It's the least dominant
because there's three people all dominating the same.
You got a tie. You got three
fucking bronze medalists.
128 people enter every tournament.
128 people enter every tournament.
One of the same three has won pretty much every time for the last 18 years.
Yeah, so nobody's dominant.
Yeah, the most dominant time
in the history of any sport is right now.
How do you define dominance?
Three elite players.
One person tying all the time?
No, if there's three players,
well, they're not tying.
You can't tie.
You can't tie.
Three people are tied.
They're 20. You can go back. Three people are tied. They're 20.
You got 20, right?
Yeah, you can go back and forth.
That's like having five championships
and five championships.
They're not tying in the NBA finals.
Yeah, neither of those teams are dominant.
So the Celtics weren't dominant.
The Lakers weren't dominant.
If they didn't get in a row,
when the Bulls didn't row,
they were dominant.
But if you're going back and forth
with another team,
neither is dominant.
It's the least dominant time
in the history of tennis.
They're all having dominant runs
and they're all having resurgence.
But keep on describing.
I know why you need to do this.
Oh, yeah.
I know why you need to do this.
I love it.
But it's the most dominant time.
Keep doing it.
See how it's not just
coaching cups.
I'm doing this just for comedic value.
I would get in on this
because it is kind of exciting,
but I have to cut your legs off.
Most dominant time
in the history of tennis.
Yeah, yeah.
Most dominant time of men who wear wrist guards.
Yes, absolutely.
Yeah, they wear wrist guards.
Oh, it's sweaty.
And it's the greatest of all time.
Sweat in the eye, that's difficult, bro.
Sweat in the eye, bro.
And then you got to play?
You got to see a ball?
You got to slide on your sneakers?
That shit is doing it running so fast.
You know how much effort you got to do in a grunt. That shit is crazy. And you gotta go, you gotta go, uh, uh, uh.
You know how much effort you gotta do in a grunt?
Son.
That's mad effort.
That is true.
And then they get so pissed off.
And you have three guys
that are grunting.
Andrew grunts when he sits down.
I'm 37.
I'm 37.
Oh my God.
Djokovic's serve is 130 miles per hour.
I think he could trap a rhino
with his serve.
What?
There's your answer.
Hold on.
Djokovic could kill a rhino with his surf.
No, he couldn't.
Absolutely.
He couldn't?
Yeah.
Stun him.
100%.
Do you know what rhinos are made out of?
Do you know what rhinos are made out of?
Steel.
They're made out of steel, bro.
They're made out of dinosaur.
Rhinos are made out of dinosaur.
He could kill a velociraptor with his surf.
There's no way he could.
With his accuracy right in the eye.
Son, I'll be honest with you.
I could take his surf in my chest.
A tennis ball would not hurt me.
That's actually probably true.
I'm being 100% serious.
That's probably true.
A tennis ball to the chest wouldn't hurt me.
We may have a gun that can shoot a tennis ball at the speed of maybe.
A gun is different.
No, no, no.
The t-shirt gun that we have.
130 miles from a tennis racket is different than 130 miles from a gun.
What do you mean?
It's the same fighters.
It's the same fighters. It's the same fighters mean it's the same fighters it's the same fighters
it's the same 130 miles
the ball density
the ball density
it's the ball density
the ball density
is far greater
when you're hitting
off a racket
I think we should get this done
I think we should get this done
I think we should get this done
let's get the gun
let's get the gun
I don't believe in guns
let's get the gun
it doesn't have
it doesn't have the sauce in it
it doesn't have the sauce
does it not
what a shame
what a shame and we can't buy it because you can't put it on planes anyway go go the sauce. Does it not? What a shame. What a shame.
And we can't buy it because you can't put it on planes.
Anyway, go, go, go.
We'll do it at one of the shows.
It'll be great.
Great celebration.
Keep on going.
Talk about the least dominant time in tennis.
So the most dominant time in the history of any sport is right now.
Do you love it because it's just white people?
Is it you just love watching white athleticism?
I do enjoy white excellence.
There's not enough of it in sports. I do personally like to see them win. Who moved to the athleticism? I do enjoy white excellence. There's not enough of it in sports.
I do personally like to see them win.
Who moved to the underdog?
I do.
Okay, okay.
Absolutely.
I love the underdog sports.
Who are the dominant ones?
There's Novak Djokovic.
Novak Djokovic.
Roger Federer.
Rafael Nadal.
What?
Rafael Nadal.
Rafael Nadal.
You watch F1, so you know all about Europeans.
I love Formula One. Yeah. Shouts to Daniel Ricciardo winning Monza. Shouts to Team McLaren. You watch F1, so you know all about Europeans. I love Formula 1.
Shouts to Daniel Ricciardo winning Monza.
Shouts to Team McLaren.
That's what I'm talking about.
Lando Norris.
I love y'all, man.
Keep killing it.
Okay, go.
As a guy who loves Europeans, you should like tennis.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No.
He likes Romans.
He likes Romans.
Yeah, I mean, Djokovic isn't from Europe, dude.
And the crazy thing.
No, he's not from Europe.
The crazy thing, the three people that are so dominant, all three of them lost. Yeah, they lost. Yeah, dude. And the crazy thing. No, he's not from Europe. The crazy thing, the three people that are so dominant,
all three of them lost.
Yeah, they lost.
Yeah, yeah.
So what did you mean?
About domination?
So none of them
were dominant enough
to win the fucking tournament?
They're all in this tournament
and got beat.
They got your ass.
He's looking at you
so crazy right now.
Even the girls, right?
Didn't some like
fucking Filipino girl
from like Great Britain?
That story's amazing.
That story's actually amazing. Yeah, she was like number 76.
Anybody can win in this.
It's like college football, dude.
150th.
Why don't you call it college football?
Tennis is a coin flip.
No, it's...
Tennis is a really important...
Tennis is a coin flip between three people.
Dude, it's poker.
Yeah, poker's a fucking...
It takes massive skills.
No, it's not a coin flip
between three people
because all three of them lost.
Yeah.
All three of them lost, right?
Actually, only one of them played in this tournament.
They couldn't even qualify?
I thought you just said all three were in the tournament.
They couldn't even qualify.
Two were injured.
What injury could you possibly get just doing that?
Tennis elbow, that's all?
It's a fucking critical diagnosis.
My elbows hurt from swatting.
You swat for a living, dog.
If you killed a fly, you can play
tennis. 100%. You watch people
drive. You watch people drive.
That's only impressive to a New Yorker.
How do you watch football and then you watch this? This was so much more
impressive than any football game. Go back to your
unimpressive sport. Outside of Tom Brady,
no football player impresses me as much as what's
happening in tennis right now. Okay, explain it.
I just did.
That was it? Yeah.
That was the most impressive thing? If you want to...
One lost,
and then some random fucking yuppie won?
So this period, from 2003
until now, there have been 72
majors. These three
have won 60 of them.
Everybody else is just in there.
They come, they go. One guy will get one here.
Yesterday, a guy got one.
I don't know if he's going to be good for that long.
He could be.
But the same three people for the past 18 years
have dominated this sport,
and then they go back and forth all the time
on who's going to get the record
for the most championships ever,
and it's just a fucking incredible thing to watch,
and it's almost over.
Two of the guys are dumb old,
so it's almost over,
and you should just enjoy. If you watch Greatness and appreciate Greatness, just watch of the guys are dumb old. So it's almost over and you should just enjoy.
If you watch Greatness
and appreciate Greatness,
just watch tennis right now
and enjoy it.
Who's great?
Rafael Nadal.
But which one of them is great?
All three are the greatest
of all time.
Are you sure that, like,
athletes haven't found real sports
and then this is just
what's left
and they're like,
these are like the mediocre guys
that are all fighting
for mediocrity?
Could you beat Nadal?
If I could beat him, not on clay, he's good on clay,
but I could beat him on anything else.
I don't believe in playing on clay.
Like, why are we switching the bottoms up?
Like, why don't you front the money
and then put the fucking grass down for you?
Well, it's like a racetrack.
I could beat him at Wimbledon.
You could not beat him at Wimbledon.
I could beat him at Wimbledon.
Not Wimbledon.
No chance at Wimbledon.
I could beat him at Wimbledon.
He's won at Wimbledon. Yes? Yeah, he beat Roger Federer at Wimbledon. Yeah, at Wimbledon. I could beat him in 10 minutes at Wimbledon. He's a one at Wimbledon.
Yes?
Yeah, he beat Roger Federer
at Wimbledon.
Yeah, but Roger Federer
is 75 years old.
He's from Switzerland.
No, Roger Federer
in his prime.
Roger Federer's a Swiss cuck.
He's a Swiss cuck.
I don't have a problem with that.
Anytime he feels
a little bit of adversity,
he just folds.
You bend that man right over.
That's what I would do.
That's not true.
He's a Swiss fuck.
No, he's not a Swiss fuck.
He's a Swiss fuck. Or a Swiss cuck. He's a Swiss cuck fuck he's a swiss fuck or a swiss guy he's a swiss cock he's a swiss fuck what about what about
say what nadal he's a spanish cook yeah but he's left-handed like just hit it to his other hand
dude tennis is so easy backhand hit it to his other hand no you know what you know how fast
he is he just runs around the backhand makes makes it a forehand. Not when I hit it to him.
He doesn't have a backhand.
I just hit it to his backhand.
Done.
Game over.
This is light work.
Why don't they just try to hit him with the serve and then debilitate them like a rhino?
That's a good idea.
Why don't they just do that?
Why wouldn't they do that?
If it's so powerful.
Exactly.
They will kill rhinoceri, all three of them, with their bare hands.
Can't do it.
With their bare hands.
Can't do it.
With their bare hands.
Can't do it.
Rafa Nadal, faster than a tiger.
Not even close.
He would have just picked up the Cubs and just ran.
I've met the guy. He would have just outrun
the mother just because. I've met
the guy. And then after the mother was tired, he
picked her up, put her on the boat too. I've met him.
Where? In Barcelona. Yeah?
Swear to God in my life, when I was living
there. Really? Swear to God in my life. What did you say to him? You walked
up to him and said what? I said what's up? He was busy
crushing. Did he try to get a picture with you
and you were like, nah. I didn you? I didn't offer him a picture
he wasn't as big
left arm massive
right arm noticeably smaller
maybe jerking off
maybe that
maybe that
he will kill a tiger right now
tell us about this great time in tennis
I just did
but where was the story?
Yeah, what are you trying to get across?
This week it was interesting because the Russian guy beat everyone.
Yeah, this Russian kid just fucking got his ass kicked twice in the final,
came, and then he just watched.
I've never seen somebody.
I've never seen somebody who looks less athletic.
He looks like he invented Ethereum.
Medvedev?
Medvedev.
It's remarkable.
It's remarkable.
How the fuck is that an athlete
and he moves like a fucking gazelle it's crazy move like a gazelle crazy so wait gazelles are
impressive then the way they move yeah okay and if you caught them and brought them back to
rome that would be pretty cool or no that would be pretty cool okay but if you told a story about
kidnapping cubs that sucks just making sure on the same page let's look at this guy right here
this does not look like an athlete he He don't look like an athlete.
That's Robby Slovic. Robby Slovic won the
US Open. That's not bad.
Robby Slovic is fucking astounding.
And this guy is number two in the world.
Yeah. So he's better than
the other two dominant guys.
Come on. Why are we lying to ourselves about the sport?
They don't have to do a Majors. Majors is what matters at the end of the day.
It's like being a one seed in the regular
season.
That's exact. I actually summed it up perfectly and you just said nah because you had no response. I don't have to do a majors. Majors is what matters at the end of the day. It's like being a one seed in the regular season. Yeah.
Nah.
That's exact.
I actually summed it up perfectly, and you just said nah because you had no response.
Yeah, I did.
I did.
It was good.
It was actually a perfect response.
Okay.
Anything else?
I feel like I covered it pretty well.
I will say the chick that won the US Open is unbelievable.
So she went in 18 years old.
She was 150th, beat everyone in the qualifiers, didn't drop a set,
beat everyone in the whole tournament, didn't drop a set, beat everyone in the whole tournament, didn't drop a set.
At 18, was the youngest woman to win the U.S. Open,
came out on top, champion.
And it was the youngest championship of all time.
And the girl that she was playing was also, like, ranked 76
or something like that.
Like, this was, like, the underdog tournament.
Well, once Osaka pulled out and Serena's
kind of old and kind of done,
I really think the women's field is just anybody can win
at this point. Wait, how old is she?
She's 18.
Okay, let's talk about a real sport.
Football is back.
Yeah.
Did you watch any football this
weekend or am I going to have to talk us through this?
You got to talk us through this, but I watched a little bit of the final game.
The last night.
The Rams game?
Yeah, I watched a little bit of the Rams game.
Yeah, just a little bit of it.
The final game?
Yeah, yeah.
I could give a fuck.
I was like, whatever the last game was, I put that shit on.
I was like, all right, I've got to go out and get something to eat.
But I put it on.
It was fine.
It's week one.
It's too early to really say anything crazy.
But I think the Saints could be good.
And it's kind of a testament to the coach of the Saints.
Because Jameis Winston is the quarterback.
Yeah.
You guys remember Jameis Winston?
Jameis Winston bummed it up everywhere else.
He was a bum at Tampa Bay.
Yeah.
FSU legend, though.
FSU legend.
But then was a bum for the Bucs.
I mean, he would throw like 30 touchdowns, but then have like 30 interceptions.
Crazy.
His teammates didn't really respect him.
But then he went to New Orleans, studied under Drew Brees for a year,
and then his first start, he won the starting job, five touchdowns.
Yeah, but on 150 yards.
Five touchdowns is five touchdowns.
Is it?
Yeah.
I guess it's not.
Let me not say it's as impressive as 350 yards.
Let the running back take you down the field,
and then you throw your little five-yard touchdown.
That kind of is all they need.
If you're the Saints who have a fucking incredible defense,
you just need to not, if you're Jameis Winston
and your problem has always been throwing way too many picks,
if you're throwing five touchdowns and you don't have interceptions,
that's huge.
They're basically letting him throw less.
And they dominated the Packers, who, again, week one, anything can change yeah but the packers were coming in as like oh they're probably
gonna make it to the super bowl yeah and they just fucking destroyed them yeah why did the
packers suck so much was was aaron rogers aaron rogers they just looked like they got to him like
he didn't have protection and that's the main thing if you're i don't care what quarterback
you are including mahomes in the super bowl if you don't have protection you're not gonna do well
yeah no quarterback can overcome that it doesn't matter how good you are got including Mahomes in the Super Bowl, if you don't have protection, you're not going to do well. No quarterback can overcome that.
It doesn't matter how good you are. Truly does
not matter. And he had two, I think,
rookies starting on the line, so he just got destroyed.
But also, I would remind people this.
I know we're supposed to talk football,
but week one last year, the Bucs got destroyed
by the Saints. And then they got destroyed
by them again midway through the year, and then
in the playoffs, they beat the Saints.
Do you think there's any bitterness of the old Rodgers signing late?
Yeah, Rodgers also demanded a trade.
Or no, said he would retire if he didn't get traded.
And then he didn't get traded.
He showed up anyway.
Had a press conference that he just kind of like aired out all his grievances.
It was real weird.
He's a weird dude.
He's an odd duck.
He's a weird boy.
He's an odd duck.
He's a little bit weird.
But again, it's week one.
So like we're supposed to talk about it.
But there's not much to take from week one.
Any team impressive?
Any rookie impressive?
The Saints impressed me.
The rookies, I'm sure some rookies played well.
The quarterbacks struggled, I think.
The number one overall pick, whose name escapes me right now,
plays for Jacksonville.
Trevor Lawrence.
Trevor Lawrence.
He threw a couple nice passes, but he has no line.
He's going to get fucking demolished.
There's an interesting stat that was going around about him. This was his first
regular season loss
ever.
In high school, he didn't have a regular season loss.
In college, he didn't have a regular season loss.
Maybe you go back to middle school
or Pop Warner, but that's not, I guess,
regular season. But sanctioned
football games, this is his first
regular season loss. That's crazy.
That's kind of nuts, right? Yeah, nuts. Pretty impressive.
And the quarterback who's supposed to be the worst out of all of them,
Mack Jones, he looked pretty good.
He's a mobile little white guy.
Interesting. He can't run for like 50 yards,
but he can move within the pocket and get out of trouble.
And he didn't look bad. They lost.
The Jets guy,
everybody says he's going to be good, but
they got beat by Sam Darnold, who they got
rid of. Yeah, who they got rid of.
He had a pretty good game against them.
But again, it's week one.
We'll see what happens.
It was fun.
It's just fun to have football back.
Are people over Daniel Jones?
Yeah, yeah.
Daniel Jones is –
He's a bum?
People were confused when they picked him in the first place at number six.
Everybody's like, why the fuck are you doing this?
He had a good first year.
This is the weird thing.
When we were,
when I first started
watching football,
it took a quarterback
like three years usually
to get good
because they came from
such a different system
in college.
Now colleges are throwing
it all over the place.
So I think a lot of times
these guys come in
and do great their first
and second year
and then the league
figures them out
and then they struggle
more and more and more.
So it's a little reverse
of what it used to be.
Interesting.
Any other game
that really stood out to you?
The Cowboys game and Bucks game, obviously the Cowboys lost.
We all knew they would.
It was Tom Brady.
I don't know.
But they looked good.
Yeah, Dak was...
The numbers were good.
Yeah, Dak looked fucking incredible.
But also, if you don't win, it doesn't really matter.
And the Cowboys will do this.
They'll play up to their competition and then down to their competition.
The coolest shit, though, was they drove down the field,
kicked a field goal to take the lead with like a minute and a half left,
and then they just showed one shot of Brady,
and he just looked, he watched the field go through the uprights,
nods his head once, puts on his helmet,
and then it's like, this is what I do.
Every other quarterback you see in that situation
is running the line of scrimmage and doing all these motions.
I literally saw Brady do this once.
He walks, he does this.
It's just like the most calm,
whatever he's signaling is not a fucking frantic thing.
The most calm guy in the pocket.
One of the last plays, the coordinator
sends him a call and then he just says no.
He just shakes his head. Then he sends another call
and he just says no. Then he sends a call
like a fucking pitcher. He's like, no,
I don't like your call. No quarterback does that
in that situation especially. Clock is running down. You're trying to figure. But he's like, no, I don't like your call. No quarterback does that, in that situation especially. Clock
is running down, you're trying to figure it out, and you just, no.
Usually when there's less than two minutes,
are they
taking calls? If it's like an incomplete
pass, maybe, yeah, when the clock
has stopped, there'll be a chance to take a call
if they go out of bounds. But if the clock
is running, it's just on Brady, right?
He says it at the line. He just walks so fucking
calmly, he's so aware of everything.
Like, to watch someone just have mastery of anything is always cool, I think.
And he has complete mastery of football.
Yes.
It's crazy.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yeah, he's a...
I mean, it's just crazy to see, man.
Like, he could very well win another ring.
I would love it, dude.
I would love it.
He is probably the greatest athlete of all time to me.
Yeah.
It's yeah.
It's hard to say.
I think we've said it on the podcast before because we,
we assume athleticism has something to do with like running fast,
jumping high.
Um,
but he is none of those qualities.
No.
Yet he excels at athletics.
Yeah.
And probably the hardest position in the hardest sport to excel at None of those qualities. No. Yet he excels at athletics. Yeah.
And probably the hardest position in the hardest sport to excel at consistently.
Yeah.
So he must be the greatest athlete of all time.
Greatest sportsman.
He's the best at sports.
But now we're just creating that caveat because he's not very athletic, which just makes him more impressive.
Magic Johnson was not very athletic, but he makes him more impressive. Magic Johnson was not very athletic,
but he was the best fucking athlete in the NBA, or he was
the best NBA player.
Larry Bird wasn't quicker than anybody.
He wasn't fast through and jumping out
of the fucking gym. He was jogging
to his spot, hitting the three,
posting you up, great pass. He's not athletic.
Yeah. Maybe we've got to reconfigure
our perception of athleticism.
Yeah.
It's like instead of-
The way he processes actual vision lines-
Of being able to see what you have to see as a quarterback.
I hear what you're saying with sportsmen, right?
Because what you're doing is just like saying his greatness within his sport exceeds other
people's greatness within their sports.
Right.
But athlete, we're tied to literally just like a genetic-
You're 40 times.
Fast twitch fibers.
You're saying fibers michael
phelps shit yeah yeah yeah yeah but yeah just yeah just he is it man it's pretty imagine jordan left
the bulls and then won another ring without phil can i tell you yeah can i tell you something about
brady that i think you like i was having dinner with um uh neil last night neil brennan and uh
he was telling a story i I think like Seth Meyers
told him about
when Brady did SNL.
So Seth goes to him,
he's like,
are you nervous at all?
And Brady looks him
100% serious,
and he goes,
for this?
Wow.
That's a fire response.
No, he's the goat of goats, he goes and then uh and then neil says
like really funny it's like he's like and why would he literally an ambulance comes to his job
yeah because somebody should end up in the ambulance that's so funny right like it's such
a great take and it's so true and i love how he's just like i know you're like comedy is important
to us we love comedy but the fact that he could look at it
like it's like a clown posse.
Like, yeah, you guys are just clowns, right?
Like, what are you, juggling?
Like, he didn't even know what it is.
Like, in his mind,
and I guess in order to dedicate your life to it,
it has to be the most important thing.
In his mind, football is the pinnacle, I assume.
Right?
Yeah.
That maybe family and football is the,
that is, there is nothing greater than that.
Yeah.
And you have to have that type of vision in order to dedicate yourself.
So anything outside of it,
he doesn't give a flying fuck.
Sure.
He'll wear some stupid boots.
Sure.
He'll do a commercial for subway and in the commercial,
admit he doesn't even eat bread.
Yeah.
Like it's unbelievable.
Like he's so great that just attaching him to a brand that he doesn't use
still makes you want to fuck with the brand.
I'll buy Subway.
Are we going to buy sneakers from Oscar Pistorius?
You know what I'm saying?
If Oscar Pistorius put out a Nike, you going to buy that shit?
That would be kind of fine.
I know he took two years off, but Jordan didn't take the Wizards anywhere.
The Bucks are the Wizards.
years off, but Jordan didn't take the Wizards anywhere.
The Bucks are the Wizards.
They had one championship, sure,
but this isn't always a shitty
franchise. They just are. They're just fucking
losers through and through. He gets there
the first year. They go from
not even making the playoffs to now we won the Super Bowl.
And it was kind of
cool to see. I just think basketball
is different. It's like
one player has more of an impact on the game
than one player in football.
That's what you would think,
and that's what makes it more impressive
that he takes the Bucs from not even playoffs
to win the Super Bowl.
Yeah, but they also put a team around him.
It's not like he's the one person who came on the team.
I think what you're saying makes absolute sense.
And just to make Akash's argument is
because one person has so much less of an ability What you're saying makes absolute sense. And just to make Akash's argument is,
because one person has so much less of an ability to change the team,
if you can, imagine how great you must be.
Yes.
I think that's what he's trying to say. He is a culture in and of himself.
Yeah, but if he was the one person they brought to the team
after the team was trash, I'd give you that.
But they got a squad around them.
But what if he's able to make those players that
might be a little bit problematic
on other teams fall in line?
Oh, yeah. I'm not saying he's
not great, though. We're pulling heads.
I understand what you're saying. And I kind of agree with you.
What I saw Jordan do is just
different fundamentally than what I've seen Brady do.
But I do give it up for him.
Brady does... I mean, Jordan does things that your body,
that your mind can't comprehend a body doing.
Period.
And I put that in when you say greatest athlete.
That's what you, that's I think athlete.
It's like, that's part of winning.
To most people, that's what an athlete is.
It's like, you're the best at that and you win.
Yeah.
But if you don't do that, you're not an athlete.
If Tom Brady had Cam Newton's athleticism, But if you don't do that, you're not an athlete. You're just a great winner.
If Tom Brady had Cam Newton's athleticism,
there'd be no question who the greatest athlete of all time was.
If Tom Brady looked like, I can't believe I'm forgetting,
you can even say Russell Wilson,
but I was going to say the guy from the Baltimore Ravens.
Oh, Lamar Jackson.
Lamar Jackson.
If Tom Brady had Lamar Jackson's athleticism, there'd be no question.
Even if he didn't run out of the pocket.
But if you just knew that he could at any point in time, Michael Vicks.
There'd be no question. But because he has the athleticism of a fucking substitute teacher, it is so hard for you and me to go, he's the greatest athlete.
It's like something else is going on here.
And they didn't add crazy pieces around him when he got there.
Like Gronk, Fournette.
Antonio Brown didn't even really play until the playoffs last year.
And then he caught one touchdown in the Super Bowl.
And that was Brady.
And Brady loves that guy and looks out for him.
And now they are cooking.
And now he's cooking this year.
But Gronk was retired.
Didn't really have a great game until the Super Bowl,
and he just did it.
Dude, you, I think, told me this.
He was texting the team before the Super Bowl every day at the exact same time.
We, in all caps, will win.
There's a leadership component to the greatness that I really value.
With Brady, where it's like he's the best leader.
Guys want to be around him, and he wants to be a shepherd to these fucking guys.
Whereas you hear people talk about Jordan, they're like, it's a fucking nightmare. He's a he's the best leader. Guys want to be around him and he wants to be a shepherd to these fucking guys. Whereas you hear people talk about Jordan, they're like,
it's a fucking nightmare. I didn't want to be a part of it.
I wanted to leave.
Leonard Fournette got cut by
whoever drafted him, then came to the Bucs
and then it was good.
Antonio Brown.
Yeah, Jaguars. Antonio Brown
was, people were like, he's not worth the fucking
trouble. Came, struggled at first, but then in the Super Bowl, in the biggest moment, Brady's
like, I'll find you.
We're good.
We just know what he was capable of, though.
Yeah, I mean, he was arguably the best wide receiver in the game.
So it's not like they had nothing.
And he was out of the league for a year and a half.
You know what I mean?
Like, all these things, it's just, in the same way we give Jordan, like, credit for,
of course he's not as good on the Wizards.
He wasn't in the league for two years.
Antonio Brown wasn't in the league for two years, basically.
And then he went to the Bucs and then was...
Well, if we can transition
to talk about real sports for a second.
E-gaming.
Right.
E-gaming? Is that what the kids are calling it?
Fortnite.
Yeah.
Fortnite, Epic Games
has won a lawsuit against Apple.
I don't know how that's fucking possible.
Good for them.
You don't take down Apple in a lawsuit.
The FBI couldn't beat Apple in a lawsuit.
Right?
The FBI was like, can we get up in these phones?
They're like, go fuck yourself.
Yeah.
Well, Epic Games, who makes Fortnite, was trying to get some bread on the side.
Right?
Apple's a dealer.
Apple's like yo if
you want to sell drugs you got to do it over here in in amsterdam yeah right and as long as you sell
drugs on my fucking block you got to give me 30 yeah and that's 30 of whatever comes in and their
block is the apple store so apple don't give a fuck if you got spotify or if you got any of these
other apps because they know they're getting 30% of whatever comes in on that Apple Store.
And then Epic Games, Fortnite,
was basically like,
yo, but we want to sell some shit within the game.
They already got it from you when you bought it,
but you don't need to take what happens in the game.
We already got you in the game.
Yeah, why are you taking 30%?
That's a little crazy, right?
And they tried to set up their own little,
I guess like an e-commerce business,
almost like economy within the game.
You get to buy, I think, V-Bucks, they're called, or something like that.
I got to look up the exact name.
And Apple was like, nah, we're cutting that shit down.
If you're selling pussy over here, we get a percentage, right?
And this is like the digital game currency that people use to like buy the sleeves and stuff for characters, etc.
Right.
It's really the first crypto when you kind of think of it.
Yeah.
It just doesn't fluctuate in the same way.
Right.
But it's a fake currency that you can use to buy nothing.
But it's buying real things to the consumer.
Well, I guess crypto is like NFTs are real things.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Okay.
In a way.
Right.
So they sued and i guess
a fucking judge sided with them and this is this is kind of big because now all these apps that
were giving up 30 of whatever they made within the game to apple now they're all going to come
out and be like okay we're going to sell our shit this hurts apple i'm curious actually what
happened to their stock price after this i would assume people are like well fuck that's gonna hurt
their bottom line a good amount, I assume.
They just lost not 30% of income,
but a decent chunk of income.
Because that's their whole business strategy, Apple.
I think their whole thing is like,
we're going to lean into the Apple store,
or the app store, rather.
We don't give a fuck about creating
these different devices.
We don't care about Apple Music
as much as we care about the store,
because we'll just get a piece of everybody's thing.
We'll own the internet landscape,
and then whatever happens here, we'll get a little bit of it.
Like I'm off your boss.
Exactly.
I don't need to find my own hustles.
I just need you to find a hustle, and I'll kick back off you.
I don't need to make a restaurant to compete with you.
I get a piece of every restaurant.
Yeah.
Apple's down 3.5% in the last five days.
Interesting.
So I don't know.
I don't know.
What do you all think? What is the— I think it's a valid case. It was a little wild. Once you. So, I don't know. I don't know. What do y'all think?
What is the...
I think it's a valid case.
It was a little wild.
Like, I didn't...
Once you explained it,
I was like, yeah,
you shouldn't get money
on the in-app purchases.
No.
Just because they're using...
They used the Apple Store
to buy it,
you get your kickback,
but now it's my app.
No.
You don't get that money.
Like, Apple made the avenue
for you to purchase this game.
I eat off that.
Yeah.
If you wanted some shit to do outside, hey, find a way for them to buy your game without going through my app store.
Well, here's the thing.
It's interesting.
They said that you couldn't even include links and stuff within your app that would take you outside of the app store for you to make those purchases.
So they started, like, kicking out all those links where they could do like in-game purchases because they're like nah fam you're gonna we're gonna make
sure we eat on anything that comes over here i think it's i don't know like i understand apple
because they're like hey listen we're gonna create the marketplace we're gonna put a lot of money
into the marketplace and it's gonna be so easy for people to buy your games we're gonna make it
so simple for them you got to protect it against uh hackers against this and that. There's a ton of maintenance.
I just think,
I just think the number's too high.
30%
Yeah,
they got greedy.
They got greedy.
What if it's like 30%
of the app
and then once you're in game,
it's 10%.
I don't think any of them
are balking at 10%,
but when you go 30
and it's already in the game.
30% of in app,
I don't even,
or 30% of the app,
I don't mind.
Yeah,
you'd buy the app,
yeah,
take 30%. But once you're inside, take a smaller cut. Actually, and if it was 10, I don't even, or 30% of the app, I don't mind. Yeah, you had to buy the app. Yeah, take 30%.
But once you're inside, take a smaller cut.
Actually, and if it was 10, most apps are free, so they can't make money.
So I'd be like, fine.
If my app is free and you get 10% of in-app purchases, it's fine.
But 30, no.
It seems egregious, right?
And that's the thing.
What is it?
It's also 30% of nothing.
If without the Apple Store, it's 30% of nothing.
That's true.
And they're hosting your shit for free, right?
They're not charging you nothing to host.
They're hosting it.
And then if your game happens to blow up, you got to pay off.
But all the games that don't blow up, they're just taking that on the fucking arm.
Yeah, but it's like monopolistic type shit.
It's them or Android.
And basically, you're saying, we're not going to let you have any other way on our phone.
Yeah.
So you're going to have to give us 30%.
Wait, are you trying to say that Apple is like a shrewd businessman?
Yeah.
No, I'm saying America is going to fight against any monopolistic shit.
So you're not going to have a valid, yeah.
Yeah.
We will fight against a monopolistic practice if it hurts the consumer.
That's what I've realized about us.
Like, there's no question.
Like, Amazon is a monopolistic practice.
But it helps the consumer.
So all we really care about is ourselves, right?
If we're sitting back at home
and we get to get the package, right?
If we get to get the fucking package
delivered right to our door
instead of going across the street
to buy the book at Barnes & Noble.
And it's cheaper.
And it's cheaper, we'll do it.
It's just so weird though.
Like for example,
I have the Amazon app on my phone
and I've got the Amazon app for free and then I downloaded a virtual book on the Amazon app on my phone, and I've got the Amazon app for free, and then I downloaded a virtual book on the Amazon app, and I read the book, but I paid money to Amazon for it, even though it's hosted on Apple servers.
You know what I mean?
The book is hosted on Apple servers?
Break that part down.
Or like the app, like the Amazon app, like the Kindle app is on Amazon servers.
Amazon servers.
I'm sorry.
It's on Apple.
I bought it through the app store.
Gotcha, gotcha.
So the book, that money.
Yeah, so I did an in-app purchase
through the app store.
And 30% of that goes to Apple.
Ah.
Is that, I'm imagining that's what that is.
So now I'm wondering
is the precedent that
Amazon can come back and say,
yo, we're not giving you anything.
Well, that's why this is a big deal.
Yeah.
Because once one company is not going to pay out.
Wait, they're getting 30% of every purchase?
So even if I buy something through the Amazon store, if I buy groceries on the Amazon app?
That's what I'm wondering.
That's going to happen.
And then my question is.
That seems crazy.
That seems crazy.
That's my point.
There's no way they're getting 30% of everything.
Yeah, that seems crazy.
On top of that, all these guys push their app.
If I was losing 30% of every in-app purchase, I'd be like, no, you could buy this shit.
I would go so far as to shit online on the regular web server.
I would go so far as to say they couldn't profit
because the food that you buy at
Whole Foods is not
priced differently on Amazon
when you buy it. Right.
It's not like there's a 30% hike that they
could pay over it. They can't afford to give
30%. So there has to be something else going on.
That's what I'm wondering. Or each company
negotiates their own deal and Amazon is like like you're gonna give this to us for nothing
and apple's like you're right about that or i wonder if there's a virtual product thing where
like if it's a virtual product that exists in your store and there's no competition like it only
exists in your app then we get something whereas but that's where i wonder with like the virtual
book like i'm buying a virtual book there's no no way Amazon gets 30% or Apple gets 30%.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It just seems so weird.
But Airbnb, I'm putting money into this.
Yep.
Apple's not getting any of it.
They have to get something.
That's the business model.
They got to get a piece.
The cut varies per.
It does.
Yeah, it varies by the company.
Interesting.
So that's what you work out.
So they get 30% of many digital in-app purchases.
Yeah.
So this is really a negotiation for the percentage.
They know eventually they're going to get some sort of cut.
And they can't risk it being kicked off the Apple app store
because they'll lose too much money anyway.
So they're like, all right, you're going to take a smaller percentage.
It's just interesting.
But if they won the lawsuit,
then they don't have to pay any percentage, right?
Because if Apple tries to kick them out of the thing,
then couldn't they just go back to the same judge and say
they kicked us out now? I think you're allowed to. I think Apple
is just allowed to put whoever they want on there.
At the end of the day, it's a private business.
It's not like it's a utility or something
like that, right?
I would love to see Apple's next move.
Are they going to appeal
or are they going to just kick them off?
I think they just appeal and let the fucking
lawyers handle it. I bet you they appeal,
they settle outside of court and then they can't use that as the precedent
for the future shit.
Because if it's decision,
so I bet you they try to repeal the decision
and then they'll settle outside.
And the precedence thing is interesting.
Like explain precedence.
So basically like if a judge rules on something,
to my knowledge,
then it can be used as a precedent for future cases.
So other companies can go, look at the decision that happened right there we want the same rule we want
the whereas if they settle outside even if it's the decision that the judge would have put forward
doesn't matter it can't be applied you didn't establish a precedent exactly and they can put
like ndas in there we'll all find out what it is yeah but legally speaking legally speaking there
is no precedence for them to do it i don't know it's just it's kind of interesting's like, I know we put out the fucking episode that NFTs are gay, whatever like that.
And like, they don't exist.
They're not real.
But the more that I've been like, just kind of like digesting content, understanding like what things are, like how humans interact with things.
Something doesn't have to be real for us to believe it is.
Like we make things real and we ascribe value to things that do not have value, right? And we do
this all the time. And I think the NFT jump is the first time we've done this to something that
isn't actually there, right? So it's like a sneaker is has no more value than like a regular air max sneaker
right in terms of like the material used the value is added and it's us it's the marketing of us
believing in jordan and valuing jordan or it's the value of us believing other people think jordan's
cool so now we do, right?
Whatever we decide is real becomes real and has value.
You've seen this happen with diamonds.
You see, everybody's, oh, the diamonds trade is so controlled.
And that's why, even if they let all the fucking diamonds out, diamonds would still have some value because of what we've put onto it. We've created the romanticism of like, oh, you must be engaged with a diamond and putting on a girl's wrist.
to it. We've created the romanticism of like,
oh, you must be engaged with a diamond and putting on a girl's wrist. So even if you flooded
the market in the same way that they flooded the market with
money during the pandemic, even if you
release a fucking stimulus of diamonds,
how much did that stimulus really
affect the value of the dollar? It's
shocking how there's not tons of
inflation. There should be so much
inflation for the injection of capital
that they put in our economy.
The fact that there's
such a minute amount
lets you know that this game
is really just a confidence game.
Once we just go, as long as there are more goods
than there is money to buy,
currency will
maintain its value.
I'm assuming they calculated that.
They're giving away money being like, we can inject
X amount and mitigate inflation
by this amount.
Yes.
But also the most important thing is
we got to stop looking at economy
as like,
you have this many things,
you're rich, right?
It's really how many things
are you buying?
Because when you think about it,
when the pandemic hit,
it's not like there was less money
in the economy.
It's not like we took money
and burned it when the pandemic came. It was the same amount less money in the economy it's not like we took money and
burned it when the pandemic came it was the same amount of money there it was it's a consumption
that shrunk yeah so they flooded the economy so that where there would be more consumption and
that is what's really fueling consumption and consumer confidence and that's what's happening
with the nfts right it might not be real but as long as the consumption is there and the consumer
confidence is there all of a sudden it just becomes whatever fucking real is right so it's like i
don't know i'm seeing this like nft like hustle going on what i really think it is is is a way
to like pump and dump ethereum but you can't just say hey buy ethereum i mean some of it is some of
it right right uh not to speak in complete extremes,
but you can't say, buy these NFTs,
and then people go, oh, how do I do it?
Oh, you have to buy Ethereum to do it?
Oh, okay.
Now Ethereum goes up.
It's a worthy investment
if you're somebody who is an Ethereum billionaire.
Very worthy investment to give some popular figures
in social media $50 million to go buy NFTs with,
and then Ethereum goes up 10%.
And you only had to spend 2% of your Ethereum to get an 8% return.
Anybody does that every day of the week.
But the fact that people are starting to buy into it and believe the hype and want to have an NFT and want to make it their profile picture, this could be a real thing.
It's like your belief in crypto right you may know more than the
average person about like what makes these different cryptos valuable barely if at all
barely right but you believe people believe that's all i believe yes i believe people will believe
and that's all that matters yeah you know what i'm saying like if you're the fucking like
if you're the leader of a country
and you maybe are not religious,
but you believe people believe,
please believe you're going to use that religion
to control some people.
Yeah.
Right?
And that is fucking crypto.
And that is these NFTs.
I will never understand the X's and O's
of pretty much anything,
but I think I know people.
And I think I know people are going to
continue to believe in NFTs at a larger clip,
continue to believe in Bitcoin at a larger clip.
I could very well be wrong, but these are my hunches.
Look, it looks as if your hunches are right.
My hunch was, and maybe I'm way more conservative with investing in things that I can't actually control,
but my hunch was like, the FCC or somebody is going to come in here and knock this shit all out.
That's a fear I have still.
But you know what should kind of make you feel a little bit better?
I think enough rich people are invested.
Yeah.
And rich people dictate the economic policy.
Yeah.
Not the FCC.
That's a good point.
Rich people go, hey, buddy, I'm up 50% on my crypto.
Whatever person who runs the fucking monetary policy in America and the rest
of the Western country, Hey, we're not getting rid of these fucking coins. Okay. It's not hurting
anybody. I'm a 50%. I'd like to keep that fucking money. So the, the, the more invested when visa
buys an NFT, like the more invested the institutions get in crypto, the more fucking
real and safe it becomes. It's kind of crazy. Even though we all know it's a farce it's nothing yeah but it fucking in my mind couldn't walk me through how this conversation
didn't happen with the dollar hundreds of years ago i maybe in the 70s because before that you
could get gold right uh okay okay and now once they remove the gold standard it's like what do
you but here's the thing can you ever remove a gold standard if I can just buy gold with dollars?
I mean, yeah, because then you...
It's not pegged.
Yeah, each thing is varying.
And you could theoretically...
The dollar could fluctuate.
Can you flip the same argument for Bitcoin?
It's like, how fake is Bitcoin if I could sell a Bitcoin for $45,000?
As long as there's a consumer for it.
Yeah.
And then the idea is eventually they either remove the marketplace
or enough people feel like you can't sell it.
It's made illegal in enough places
where it's like,
okay, it's only legal in El Salvador.
I don't think they got enough rich motherfuckers
in El Salvador to buy the rest of our shit.
I'm just saying,
the investment in consumer confidence,
no matter what it is,
a fucking NFT,
a sleeve in a video game,
a fucking podcast,
whatever the people find valuable.
If enough people find it valuable,
it becomes real.
It doesn't matter if you like it or not.
We might not like BTS or that fucking K-pop band.
We might not understand it.
If enough people like it,
that is popular music.
Enough people wear baggy
jeans that is the thing like all fashion is is confidence and what people are doing and it's like
enough tastemakers doing a thing yeah what fat it's nft it's like enough we're telling this in
the car baggy jeans should be more expensive than skinny jeans because it takes more material
if we're just getting going off of
the material they should cost more when they're not cool they cost less when they are cool they
cost more right it's the consumer confidence that dictates the price and to tie fashion to this it's
like every new fashion that's ever come around like now when skinny jeans first came i was like
this looks so fucking stupid this looks unbelievably stupid stupid. Now I'm used to skinny jeans.
I'm looking at baggy jeans.
Like, that looks so fucking stupid.
What was I thinking when I wore that?
What the fuck is that?
That's not a thing.
But that's what this Bitcoin shit was to me.
It's what the fuck is that?
That's not so stupid.
It's going to go away, right?
It's got to go away.
Look what they do with fashion.
Like, when they want to make something cool, I'm sure the companies reach out to the influencers.
They're reaching out to Bieber.
They're reaching out to Ariana.
They're reaching out to all these different people.
And they're like, hey, we would love to put the Kardashians.
We want to put you in our stuff.
And then all of a sudden, the rest of us see that.
And they go, I guess this is a new cool thing.
That's no different than crypto.
You know what I mean?
Like, how do I get the influencers?
If I'm someone who runs crypto, not runs, but a big time investor, if I'm the Winkle
bosses, I'm going, how do i get these market makers to be invested
yeah how do i explain to a logan paul how do i explain to i'm not talking about pompliano right
because pompliano is going to feed the people who are really into crypto already ashton kutcher and
his wife how do i get ashton how do i get exactly like the the casuals to be into it and they've
done it fucking they've done it fucking,
they've done it well.
And maybe this is a 20 year process.
I don't know how long,
you know,
the coins have been around,
but like,
it's just,
it's just amazing how we can just make something literally out of nothing.
He said watching Dove Truffle in person.
This was absolutely phenomenal.
Okay.
This was absolutely phenomenal.
All right.
I didn't even know it was happening
until it was the middle of it. Like, you know, when like you don't pay attention when your girl's talking, then you're halfway through a story. You're like phenomenal all right i didn't even know it was happening until it was
the middle of it like you know when like you don't pay attention when your girl's talking
then you're halfway through a story you're like all right i gotta figure this yeah he's committed
to a huge trip and you're like don't name the store so we can go back no no i'm naming the
store because it's that much better so you know i'm a yeah i'm a leon dore or whatever uh great
store love the stuff um we're going we're going I'm like actually they have a fuck
the best coffee in the city
I'm being
it's like called
it's like the 217
or something like that
it's at the Ame store
in Nolita
it's the best coffee
there's a specific one
it's called the 217
or something like that
or like Cafe Leone
yes
it is the best
I'm being honest
it's a fucking
hypebeast clothing store
no I'm talking about
you and your coffee
oh yeah
oh we gotta get the pink
blue bottle or whatever.
Fuck you.
Like, go to Starbucks.
Why you got another color, dog?
Why you got another color for no reason?
It was like, oh, let's go get some fancy fucking.
I had enough colors, bro.
Coffee not just comes in a glass.
Starbucks caught up in price.
Yeah.
What?
Starbucks is expensive now.
You order the same price, B.
Same price.
Come on.
You're so bougie, bro.
Why don't you bring on espresso? Get him his bougie out here. Get him his l, B. Same price. Come on. You're so bougie, bro.
Why don't you bring me an espresso?
Get him his bougie out here.
All right, go, go, go.
All right, so boom.
So we're out here
and we go to the,
and I'm just standing
outside and there's a,
we walk up to like
the cafe part
and she's like,
oh, there's actually
the line over there.
The line is fucking huge
just to get a coffee.
It's fashion week.
Everybody's in the city.
People want to hang out.
The whole thing's
You're not going to
stand for that.
We're not going to
stand for the line.
I turn around.
Dove is talking to this guy. The guy thing is going fucking nuts. You're not going to stand for that. We're not going to stand for the line. I turn around. Dove is talking to this guy.
The guy walks over to me.
He goes, hey, this is Andrew.
He goes, yeah, can I get you guys anything?
Oh, yeah, we'll have these coffees.
Order.
Gets us a table.
And we're sitting down.
I'm like, what just happened?
He goes, I'll be honest with you.
I've never met that guy in my life.
I go, what?
The guy walked us over.
And he said, oh, great seeing you.
He goes, I was like, how did you fucking pull this off?
He just knew that the guy was the guy for the store.
Like he was like the manager.
He thought he was like the owner,
but he just knew because he was walking around there.
And he walked up to him as if he should know him.
So he walked up and he goes,
I just started saying buzzwords, right?
He goes, I just walked up.
He goes, hey man, how are you?
We just got back in town.
We're doing these shows over at the Fillmore in Detroit and Milwaukee.
It's good to be back.
Stuff is crazy right now.
Just preparing for this special and everything like that.
How are you, man?
The guy doesn't want to not know a person that seems like they should be known.
Everybody falls. You ever have somebody act like they should be known. Yeah.
Everybody falls,
like you ever have somebody like act like they know
who you are?
Yeah.
Not even act,
like they know who you are
and you're like,
oh, we're friends.
But not in a famous way.
Like I'm not pretending like
he doesn't know Andrew.
I recognize he didn't know Andrew.
He acts like he didn't name drop.
It's a little nice.
I saw him look at you
and didn't know him.
It's also fashion week.
He might not have known me,
but it was a name drop.
You can't,
imagine there's all kinds of important motherfuckers walking around.
It's fashion week.
I can't.
He must be important.
Who gives a fuck?
And he was in the middle of a group.
I interrupted him while we were talking.
So it was like extra confidence.
It was like that scene in Hitch, but for truffles instead of bitches.
Yes.
So I would do this in Vegas to door guys, right?
But this was so audacious because it was like this is
somebody that you're gonna see you're gonna go shop at this place like not anymore probably even
like now it's like a real connection so the guy it fucking perfectly works he just acted as if
the person should know him but without going like hey how are you more just like oh yeah we just got
back in a town like you're almost finishing
a sentence from the last time you spoke yeah and the guy fell right into it that's so let us cut
the fucking line get to the seat you're not afraid of the rejection i guess in my mind the guy's
gonna look at me and go do i know you say what you said this was great i don't think he believes
first of all you guys understand with all my girl successes i'm not afraid of rejection because
of the amount of times i've been rejected in my life is a stellar high number.
You have to get rid of that part.
How many?
How many?
I mean.
Are we in the quadruple digits?
He doesn't even imagine.
A thousand.
Dub's a shooter, bro.
I don't feel like I got rejected.
They just haven't discovered me yet.
They just don't know.
Okay, but go on.
What were we talking about?
Girls or coffee?
No, no, the coffee thing.
Same, same.
No, there was a specific thing
that you said
you were like
I'm putting him
in the position
where he doesn't
want to let me down
yeah
he
I want to
I want to believe
that he's like
excited that I'm there now
or that he's connected
and we're just finishing
whatever last conversation
we had
so like
or at a club
or walking in a door
you want me in that club.
You want me in that coffee shop.
So impressive.
We go out last night in Milwaukee
and granted it's Milwaukee, it's not New York.
But still, we just, any place we went to,
long ass line and we just like sick dove on it.
It's like, dove, go get him.
We just, they're off in the side
and just watch, wait for the, come on over.
So what's the strategy?
Two places, two places we just walk right in. I don't know what he said. That was something over. So what's the strategy? Two places. Do you make it up? We just walk right in.
I don't know what he said.
That was something else.
So we had our little stickers,
our little backstage passes from the Pabst venue,
and it was like on my leg.
When we're walking up, I'm like, you know, it's Al.
He's got the fit.
This guy's calling all of us at the line.
He's Tom Brady at Troubles.
No, but Al's super smart.
People that walk next to me, I'm like,
stay the fuck away from me 10 feet back and let me look like the fucking Jewish manager.
I moved this sticker to my shirt.
Buzzwords.
So I know that it's an eyeline for them.
I'm like, what's this little badge that says all access and blah, blah, blah.
Start shooting with butt.
You got to hit him quick.
And you can't wait in line.
If he's talking to someone, you got to interrupt that conversation.
And I kind of put a little fear in my eyes.
Like, oh my God, I'm keeping Al waiting right there.
And Al does it perfectly.
He and Derek are chatting up.
Vala's even playing the part with a cigarette in the corner.
And they just need to stand in their little thing, be seen.
And then I'll call you when you're ready.
And then that's it.
Legend.
Legend.
Legend.
And do you have a different strategy for every place you go? Every time. Like I said before, you got to be 10 different. you when you're ready and then that's it. Legend. Legend. Legend.
And do you have a different strategy for every place you go?
Every time.
Like I said before, you gotta be ten different characters.
I'm not an asshole.
Sometimes I can be tough.
Sometimes, you were on the phone when I was handling this hotel.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, that's funny.
It was just all, just be different folks.
But my intention is like, I'm not taking anything from these guys.
This club wants these guys
in there. This coffee shop,
we're the leader locals.
How do you learn this?
How do you learn this?
When I was a kid, my mom
would like, she'd get a parking ticket. I was like
12. Go argue this parking ticket.
Go look like a victim.
Pretend I don't speak English.
But no. Persians,'m going to invest. Pretend I don't speak English. But no.
Persians, and shout out to Persians listening.
The Persians were some of the original trufflers.
And my policy is like, I've never stolen anything.
But I'll like, get in.
I'll get a hookup.
I'll do whatever.
This is how you learn it. You exist in a place, L.A., where everybody is trying to get clout and connectivity to fame.
Like everybody in L.A. I don't care if you're the fucking door guy, the Pilates instructor.
I don't care if you run a fucking cycling class.
Everybody there wants to be famous.
And they think that they're this close to fame.
And once somebody is presented with the feeling as if they could be that close, they'll do anything.
So that guy at the door, that's not their dream.
The guy that even the bouncers there.
Yeah.
Right.
Like everybody there, they feel like they're this close.
So if you give them that access point and you make them feel as if they should, they'll do anything to fulfill that prophecy.
Right.
And that's the Vegas thing.
The Vegas people, like I'm sure you're doing fucking incredible in Vegas.
Vegas people, they meet thousands of people every single week.
So if you go up to a door guy in Vegas and act like he should know who you are and say
the right things, why would he not believe that you guys have met and that he showed
you the night of your life? Why would he not believe that you guys have met and that he showed you the night of your life
why would he not but there's no way that you aren't that person just walking right up to him
dude great to see you my man yeah we're back unfortunately these poker tournaments are
unfortunately you know summer league whatever and he just does this buzzword stuff which is so great
he's not even saying sentences he's just saying the things that are going on.
Yeah, Netflix has us back out here again.
I got the fucking guys.
So impressive.
Literally, Netflix, this.
Yeah, we have this, blah, blah, blah.
The team is everything like that.
So I'm taking out a couple guys from the team and everything like that.
But yeah, so whatever.
Boom, and then you're in.
Good to see you.
Are we good to go or something?
Yeah, nothing.
I've never greased one door guy in my entire life.
This is great.
That's crazy.
So back to the LA thing.
It's like, I'm 20, 21.
I'm going out to the clubs.
You pay the door guy?
You pay every time to get in.
Every time.
And it sets your tone differently.
What you need to do is find your way in.
You shouldn't be in there.
That's why you're paying.
You shouldn't go.
You're tipping him to let someone who shouldn't be in there be in there.
Yeah.
If you're not tipping the door guy and he lets be in there be in there yeah if you're not tipping
the door guy and he lets you in he goes he must be it god for why did i make him wait it's my job
to make sure guys like this are in so find a way to get in i wish and once you're in don't make an
exit focus on the exit with the person that you know is going to be there the next time it's the
promoter it's not usually the bodyguard
or the bouncer,
but a promoter that's there.
There is a way to have that chat,
get to know them,
what they're all about,
what's their other side hustle,
and it's connected to something that you do.
Just that one-minute conversation
in an organic way
will serve you for a year at that club.
That's all it takes.
So you do the hustle on the way out.
Now,
just get in the first house.
You think there'd be more Jews
with how good you guys sell.
You know what I mean?
Like,
you'd think you'd convert more people,
like get them on board.
They don't want to convert.
Yeah,
they don't.
Because they've been around each other.
Like,
we need to confine this
to people we love
and we're close to.
After the chosen people,
you can't have more chosen people.
But yeah,
who can they take advantage of?
They need the goys and the Muslims around there so they can be people, you can't have more chosen people. But yeah, who can they take advantage of? They need the goys
and the Muslims
around there
so they can be like,
hey, Jeffrey,
how you doing?
It's good to be back.
Let me trick this
dumb fucking Christian
to let me into the club.
We go to another spot
and it was like,
even though it was
a huge spot,
it was packed,
but there wasn't
much of a line
and he looked disappointed.
He didn't have to
travel.
He was disappointed.
He was like,
fuck.
Well, then, shout out to that place. Ohinity trinity we had actually that all recognize flagrant fans they hooked us up i'm about to piss myself guys is there anything else
biden came out and he gave some rules on i have them down here because i don't want to get them
wrong but uh a vaccine mandate all federal employees
local government state employees have to get the vaccine no options and then i believe at a certain
size company you either have to get the vaccine companies with more than 100 workers require
vaccination or weekly testing i like that they do or weekly. Or weekly testing, I like. Yes. There's something different about forcing someone to have something in their body
and just taking a test to make sure that you don't have it.
I like that as an option.
I'm with that.
They should have made it limited.
Fake like it's limited.
Like with the diamonds, they should have did that with the vaccine.
Everybody would have.
That's what I was saying early on.
That's what they were doing in the beginning.
That's what I was saying early.
That's why people were rushing to get that shit.
Yeah, you had white people going to the ghetto. You, motherfucker. No, but I was saying early. That's what they were doing in the beginning. That's why people was rushing to get that shit.
Yeah, you had white people going to the ghetto.
No, but I'm just saying.
How are you against yourself?
Have you listened to this podcast?
I know, bro. That's all we do.
Say one thing, completely refute it.
You know what I mean?
My nostrils are just a trash animal.
Imagine.
My nostrils sucks, bro.
Bro sucks, bro.
Son, son.
Like getting animals to the coliseum,
the easiest fucking thing ever, you do that.
No, no, son, son.
That is incredibly hard.
Stop it.
The difficulty of that is crazy.
Pimp, pimp, pimp.
All you got to do is wait for it to be baby,
snatch it from the mom, and then you just
put that shit in a boat and just run off.
And what happens when you snatch it?
What happens when you snatch it?
Of course.
Son, son, you throw one baby out of some shit.
It's dumb easy.
It's just the easiest thing you can do.
But think of what it took to think of that son
You don't got nothing to do you don't got an internet. You got Instagram
I'm so sure I'm right as I'm arguing his point of
It's been flavored too.
Fuck that.
Fuck him.
Fuck that.
I hope you both get delted in.
Lambda, we out.
Nosebleed free, bitches.