Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Corona Killed #MeToo feat. Aaron Berg

Episode Date: April 7, 2020

This week Andrew, Akaash, and AlexxMedia are joined by the hilarious Aaron Berg! They discussed: HBO exposing how corrupt the FBI is, rich people want global economic collapse, Dana White is the great...est promoter in history, how Corona killed social justice warriors and much more. INDULGE!!! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to another episode of flagrant 2 I'm Andrew Schultz here with Akash Singh Alex media is back in the building everybody Mark Gagnon also in the building no applause here um, I think Dana White of the UFC might be the greatest promoter ever. Interesting. I thought it was Don King. What happened? It just got announced today, and I just saw the UFC post this or someone else posted on Instagram, but it looks like it's legit.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Pretty sure it came from the UFC, where Dana White says that they're – because right now they're continuing to put on the fights with no fans. Right. Which is great because obviously it's nice that they're fans there, but at the same time, I want something to do on a fucking Saturday. I've watched all of Ozark in a week. And fans don't heighten the UFC experience from what I know. Who cares? Let's go.
Starting point is 00:00:59 You know what I mean? Pump in some crowd volume or something. You can figure it out. But Dana White is the greatest promoter in UFC history because I saw him or on this picture of him quote saying they're looking to secure an island to do all the fights so i guess what they would do is rent out i'm assuming rent out the island maybe create a facility on the island i'm not exactly sure how they're going to work this out,
Starting point is 00:01:27 but what a genius way to control everybody in and everybody out. Shitty thing is what happens if you have island electricity, island Wi-Fi, island hospitals. Island shit isn't America shit. Island hospitals is the one issue. That's the one that I'm like. Have you ever been to an island with electricity and Wi-Fi? Like they got to out to the world that's also true that's you know what i'm saying like because again these are pay-per-view yeah yeah so what island are they gonna use branson's island i bet
Starting point is 00:01:55 that you got heller wi-fi son maybe the virgin islands that's just gonna be a fire festival it might be it might be Fest. But it's just... That's a bad look. It might be Fyre Fest. But would Fyre Fest be bad if 20 people showed up? You know what I mean? Like, there's not going to be that many people. No, no, I don't think you mean...
Starting point is 00:02:16 No, I think it might be. ...Fyre Fest in terms of people showing up. Yeah, I think it just... It's going to calamity. Nothing's going to work out. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Would the infrastructure have been that bad if it's not trying to support thousands of people it's just trying to support
Starting point is 00:02:27 50 or whatever right no no yeah yeah i think it might hold up better you know i what he's trying to say is just not going to be successful he wasn't literally saying nobody's going to show up um but yeah i just think it's a genius idea and right now you have the opportunity i mean i don't see any like boxing promoters trying to put on fights. I don't see any boxing promoters doing anything, to be honest. He's continuing to put on fights. UFC, if it's not already the number one fight sport in the world, it will come out of this as the number one fight sport because we're sitting around Saturday with nothing to do.
Starting point is 00:02:59 We can't go out to the movies. We can't go to a show. We can't go to a bar. You're going to give us some live entertainment on a Saturday? We haven't had live entertainment in weeks. The people who are willing to say, hey, let's go. I think WWE is probably whack without an audience. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:13 The people who are willing to be like, yo, who gives a fuck? The NFL, hey, we're still having free agency. Yeah. Don't you think it looks bad? People are signing a $100 million contract? No. We're still having the draft. We'll do it virtually.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Who cares? People are dying for anything. Yeah. People who are giving giving you anything as heartless as it is they're gonna win yeah yeah man it's just impressive dude i'm like good for you and then uh khabib is not going to be fighting i don't know if you saw this no but like so khabib was supposed to fight tony ferguson i think this is a record like fifth time that the fight has gotten canceled, something crazy like that. And because Khabib can't leave Russia. Now, everything's negotiable in Russia.
Starting point is 00:03:53 Okay, fair enough. Literally everything is negotiable in Russia. Yeah. Why can't he leave though? He's saying he can't leave because of Corona and everybody's on a lockdown, there's quarantine. It's like, this is Russia, B. You could leave for $100,000.
Starting point is 00:04:07 I guarantee that's all it would take to get you out of the country. Do you think he's ducking the fight, though? No, he's not ducking it. I actually think Khabib is a good guy. He's actually a truly good guy. And he has a moral compass that's very strong. Honor is big with this dude. That's why he beat the fuck out of McGregor.
Starting point is 00:04:24 It's honor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean,. That's why he beat the fuck out of McGregor. It's honor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think he would have beat the fuck out of him regardless. Yeah, no, no, but like, that's what made it so personal. Yeah, yeah, 100%. And so, yeah, so I think that like,
Starting point is 00:04:36 I think the way he looks at it, and this is my assumption, is he's like, look, they're saying we shouldn't travel. They're saying we shouldn't go outside. Who the fuck am I to break the rules? I'm no different than these other people. He's actually being really humble and not wanting to do it.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Sounds like a good guy. He's a good guy. Yeah. But be a bad guy. You know what I mean? Like, I'm fucking bored. April 18th. I want you to do.
Starting point is 00:04:59 I want you to have a nice fight with Tony Ferguson. I want to see some blood, guts, and mayhem. And that's going to be perfect for me. That's how we're going to have a nice little bit of distraction. We need live events. Are they postponing? Like two months? Do they have like a date scheduled? No. Justin Gaethje is another fighter. He's going to step in on super late notice. Maybe he was training for another fight. A lot of times these guys are always like in shape. Yeah. So Justin Gaethje has the hardest
Starting point is 00:05:23 name to fucking pronounce. It's G-A-E-T-H-J-E. Gaethje has the hardest name to fucking pronounce. It's G-A-E-T-H-J-E. Gaethje. Not Gaethje. Gaethje, he's like a real American boy, so he, I guess, pronounces it that way. But it's probably French or some shit. Dude, he's going to step in and fight Tony Ferguson. And I'll be honest with you, I think Ferguson, as good as he is, he's got a lot to worry about because ferguson does get tagged like he does get hit yeah while he's you know very skilled he's got amazing jujitsu and he's got a really weird style he gets touched yeah
Starting point is 00:05:56 and gaethje is the guy who if he touches you you're out but is he slow why is he oh he's fast he's a really good fighter what does he have a weakness how's he not he gets touched too okay so it's like if you have power he's the type of guy who's gonna they call him um the most violent man in mma or something like that like he's coming straight at you yeah he's swinging as hard as he can and if he connects you're going down but what happens when you come straight at someone and swing as hard as you can? You expose yourself. 100%. And you get got. And then you get got.
Starting point is 00:06:28 So, like, in boxing terms, this would be the ideal matchup for, like, a Floyd. Like, I'm so good at defense. I'll just keep tagging you up. Yes. Now, Tony, as far as I'm concerned, I've just watched, like, highlights of his fights and that kind of stuff. He's an action fighter as well. He likes to move forward. So they're going to move forward at each other,
Starting point is 00:06:46 which I think benefits Gaethje. If Tony was kind of moving and shaking, if Tony was a stylebender, if you will, right? Stylebender loves a fighter. Stylebender would never fight Gaethje because the weight is too different. But if a Gaethje-like fighter just came at Stylebender, Stylebender would pick him apart. He's a counterpuncher. A counterpuncher needs a puncher.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Exactly. Great, great try. So we'll see what happens. I'm going to watch it. I'm just excited there's going to be a fight. He's a counterpuncher. A counterpuncher needs a puncher. Exactly. Great. Great try. So we'll see what happens. I'm going to watch it. I'm just excited there's going to be a fight. There's a bunch of other good fights on it. Like, okay, Dana White. You're ordering.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Do your thing. You're supposed to put on the fight. You're supposed to produce the fight. That's your fucking job. Now you got to earn your money. It's easy to put on a fight when everybody can go. You just go. That's where the fight is. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:07:24 I don't usually watch fight sports.'ll watch floyd fights yeah i might floyd had an interesting week but we're gonna get into i might order this motherfucking fight it's not even a question there's nothing else i'm saying it's the only thing happening yo you gotta do it we gotta do some live events we gotta figure out a way to do live events. Oh, shit. Yeah, now we get. I mean, the issue always was you're famous. So you're on the road every weekend. Yeah. Ain't no road now.
Starting point is 00:07:50 Yeah. Now we got to figure out a way. What can we do? The road is me coming in from Jersey. That's the road. That's the road we taking out here right now in Corona times. Fuck. So, yeah, Floyd had a really interesting week while we're on the fight game.
Starting point is 00:08:02 This is a very convoluted story. I might get this wrong. I'm going to go to Alex to black fact check me. To black check me. Black Snopes. There it is. Snipes. Snipes this argument if I make sure I'm making it right.
Starting point is 00:08:15 Yaya Mayweather is Floyd Mayweather's daughter. Yaya Mayweather is in a relationship with NBA Youngboy. NBA Youngboy is a rapper. He's probably the most popular rapper on YouTube right now. So every time he puts out a video, it really pops off on YouTube. Right. There's been songs that are really popular. Can you name one?
Starting point is 00:08:33 Rich Forever or something like that. What is it? Never Broke. I think NBA stands for Never Broke Again. Yeah, Mark would probably know. That's more his class. What's a big NBA Youngboy song? But there's something there.
Starting point is 00:08:48 He's big. You would recognize him if you saw him too. Yaya Mayweather catches NBA Youngboy with his side piece. Right. Okay. Yaya Mayweather starts fighting with the side piece. That's not a fight the side piece wants, I don't think. Actually, it was.
Starting point is 00:09:10 I mean, Mayweather's got to be so disappointed. So the side piece starts beating up Yaya. Oh, my God, yo. Yes. That's embarrassing. That is the most heartbreaking shit. That's embarrassing for a Floyd fan. It reminds me of that Penguin video.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Do you remember the Nature Penguin video? Oh female penguin cheats on the male penguin, and then the male penguin tries to fight the other penguin for the honor of his girl, and then the other male penguin beats the shit out of him. Literally pecks out his eyes, and then you watch the female walk off with the new dude. Yeah, and then this one lonely fucking penguin, just Zion Williamson, walks out of there. He tries to come back, too, and then gets beat the fuck out of him again. Anyway, so that's what happened.
Starting point is 00:09:51 That exact penguin situation happened with Yaya and the side piece. Only difference is Yaya Mayweather stabbed the side piece. Because she was getting her ass beat. Because she was getting her ass beat. Do I have this right? I think I have this right. her ass beat because she was getting her ass beat and do i have this right i think i have this right nba young boy goes to the hospital as a 36 year old man i feel so pathetic talking about this i'm only talking about this because there's nothing else to talk about this sports related
Starting point is 00:10:17 or anything related nothing's happening in the world you came to me yesterday you're like yo what's up with this story i was like so I don't got enough patience for that shit. Who did he end up with at the end of the night? I think he... No, well, the last video he posted, he's with Yaya. So are you sure? Because I thought he went to the hospital with the side piece and then brought the side piece back.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Not Yaya. No, no. So I saw him... I saw, like, tweet synopsis. And from what I understand, everything you said checks out. And then I think at the end, he gets back with Yaya. And he's at Yaya's house on IG Live. And then he starts cursing out Floyd.
Starting point is 00:10:53 Bruh. This guy's wiling. So he starts taking shots at Floyd. He's wiling. And he goes, I ain't got shit from his daddy. You know what I mean? He bought me two sneakers. I ain't wearing none of them sneakers.
Starting point is 00:11:11 You know what I'm saying? I ain't got shit from his dead right now she's sitting there in the bed that's how you know floyd is a horrible parent she's just sitting there in the back she can't even defend her dad after the man that just cheated on her wow that's a great point it's talking shit about him you know what i noticed is how shitty of a parent Floyd is. The only address Floyd had of it, and this is when you said, the side piece beat up Yaya. I said, oh, now this makes sense. Because yesterday, Floyd posted on his IG nothing about his daughter, a picture of him teaching his son how to fight.
Starting point is 00:11:39 So the next day, the next day, Floyd's doing some PR, right? The next day, Floyd's doing some PR, right? So Floyd goes, I've never claimed to be perfect, but I try to be the best parent I can. Now, you got to claim that shit because of this whole drama with Yaya. You only say that when you're far from perfect. I never claimed to be perfect. That means you're real far from perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's teaching one of his sons how to box.
Starting point is 00:12:07 And I feel bad because I don't know if the son knows it's a PR move. No. He's so happy his dad is finally spending a moment with him. You think? Not with his fucking 40 hoes in a hotel room. Son, the son is probably the happiest he's ever been in quarantine times. You think? My dad is finally in the fucking house.
Starting point is 00:12:27 Son. You think? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids and dogs are the most exploited thing on social media. Go on. Oh, that's a great point. Everybody, when they want some likes, some nice comments and shit like that, they hold up a little tiny dog or a kid all the time.
Starting point is 00:12:44 They want to get out of something sticky. Oh, let me put my kid in the video while I'm talking to you or some shit like that. I give my kid a kiss in the middle of me addressing some horrible shit I did. They exploit kids and dogs all the fucking time. Because we assume. I've exploited the shit out of my nephew and got mad. Really? Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Really? What were you trying to get out of? No, I just wasn't. I wasn't even you trying to get out of no i just wasn't i wasn't even really trying to get out i was just like testing out like just one picture with him smiling he's smiling and just like flooded dms comments flooded interesting yeah i guess that makes sense i guess like we assume if you can treat an animal nice or a kid nice, kid's almost an animal. If you can treat something helpless nice. Kid's almost an animal.
Starting point is 00:13:29 I still call my nephew It until he starts talking. Yeah, what the fuck, yo? It's still an It right now. No, kids are an animal. I mean, how is a kid that different from like a dog or something like that? I mean, a crib is kind of a cage. No top. A crib is kind of a cage.
Starting point is 00:13:43 A crib is a cage. No top. Yeah. You got less space than fucking uh joe antil doc antil's animals you know i mean you just locked in like a prison inmate throwing your fucking glass against that's what i was saying about trump when they were separating the kids from the parents it's like that's what you do to your kid every night right like don't you do that literally every single night or every time you go to mcdonald's
Starting point is 00:14:02 you throw them in a ball pit that was your inside joke premise right it was that's how you fix it is make it a ball pit and then nobody can have a problem it's fine it's like we all we don't like kids like everybody acts like they fucking like their kids all of a sudden and when some shit is going down and then all the rest of the time like louis ck becomes the biggest comic in the world because he hates his kid yeah i always hated that shit you did hate it and you have like a real sensitivity to like kids and that kind of stuff Yeah, I love kids. Yeah, I know but like your parents hated you You wrong about that son You wrong about that
Starting point is 00:14:37 My mom loves me. Okay, you wrong about it. Wouldn't know what that's like Dad on the other hand appreciate you pops why you think i relate to floyd's kids so well yo you got laid off dad let's hang out yo man it is just so it is look none of us have kids right here right that we that we're aware of in the least so it's like we don't really know about them, but there is something, you know how like jokes are true in that they tap into a feeling you have. They might not be true in terms of like a behavior that you exhibit, but they're true in terms of the feeling. Yeah. I think you got to have moments of hating your kids for all these jokes about hating your kids to work. It makes sense, yeah. They got to.
Starting point is 00:15:25 Of course, of course. So it's like where we might tell a racist joke or a homophobic joke or all these types of things. We don't ever do that behavior, but the feeling inside you is real. There's a little feeling inside Chinese people why you got to eat weird shit. Yeah. All of us are going through that. Look what you did. Look what you did, right?
Starting point is 00:15:43 So since that feeling is in us the joke the joke when the deeper it is the more we laugh at it maybe that's why we like louis because the number one thing you can't feel is i fucking hate this kid of mine he that's literally i think where he became famous and then everything after that people like i like this guy and he's and he was a really great comic so all these other things worked yes but, and he was a really great comic, so all these other things worked. Yes. But, and he has a new special. You guys should go download it from his website. It's just out right now. I haven't seen it yet.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Have you seen it? No, but you know how we talked about how comedians should put their specials on Pornhub? Yeah. Isn't he the guy that should break that fucking wall down? That's funny. I mean, I'm saying that kind of serious. Like, that's the move. You got to lean in.
Starting point is 00:16:23 That's funny, man. I mean, lean in like you did on that hotel room door. You know that he didn't? Yeah, you told me. Yeah. Those girls made up that whole shit. They were taking pictures and all laughing about it. Apparently, allegedly.
Starting point is 00:16:39 That's secret information. Y'all not supposed to know, but fuck it. World's coming to an end. So we're sharing that. We're sharing that We're sharing We're out in all these Me too bitches right There hasn't been a me too
Starting point is 00:16:47 This entire quarantine Isn't that funny See what happens When you stay home In the fucking kitchen Can't get me too In the kitchen You can't get me too
Starting point is 00:16:59 By a broom bitch Ask Abner luima nah man that's a mark gagnon reference this is over my head yo nah abner luima is the guy that the plunger guy oh fuck yo i think it was it was him or amadou diallo i think i think you can spell both their names are the same letters dude that's a scrabble 30-point word right there. Abner Louima? I'm a doody-ah-loo?
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Starting point is 00:18:25 The night Of your life For your loved one You wanna have a date night? You wanna have a date night? You wanna stay in? Okay You're not gonna be able
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Starting point is 00:19:03 All right? Let's get back to the show. The craziest stat is that domestic violence is all time high right now. Is it going on? And child abuse. Because them gays, bro. Where's Case Rosso? Them gays can't live with each other.
Starting point is 00:19:15 Lesbians. I mean, them lesbos. Yo, we got to get to call them lesbos. That's a funny answer. Lesbos is funny. Hey, it's some lesbos that just moved into the apartment building. You think they need help moving their shit? Probably not.
Starting point is 00:19:29 It kind of sounds like bozos. Yeah, like lesbo. Hey, you little lesbo. Hey, lesbos. Oh, man. Do you think the he thinks of lesbos are watching me sit like this with sandals and green socks? Yeah, they're calling you something. Look at that hom socks? Yeah, they're not saying homo though, what do you think they're saying? Some british cigarette over there
Starting point is 00:19:56 No, but it's funny. So I get updates about uh, the coronavirus from the city and Every once in a while they're sneaking like oh if you're having problems at home And every once in a while, they're sneaking like, oh, if you're having problems at home, call this number. Who are you supposed to call? I'm like, the two things they warned us about is coronavirus and getting fucked up at home. And son, how you make that call? You can't go nowhere. You can make the call from the next room.
Starting point is 00:20:16 He can hear you. Fuck you up more. Nah, bro. Nah, bro. Son. People got to get fucked up. People got to get fucked up People gotta get fucked up Bro I don't
Starting point is 00:20:27 Ay Ay Oh my god Ay bro Ay Y'all gotta figure that shit out If all you hear is If you just hear slaps
Starting point is 00:20:36 If you start to hear thuds Then maybe you gotta stop But if it's just Ay Maybe they're watching a really good Maybe they're watching a really good movie. You know, they like the ending. That's a round of applause.
Starting point is 00:20:47 You know what I mean? And they want an encore. We can't be spreading this virus, you know? It's just black people watching comedy, you know? Moving furniture, throwing pots and pans, yells and claps and all that. Nah, this is a domestic... You stupid.
Starting point is 00:21:02 You know what I mean? The domestic violence shit is wild because I do not feel any of that. Nah, this is a domestic, you know what I mean? The domestic violence shit is wild because I do not feel any of that. No, no. This is where the domestic violence
Starting point is 00:21:10 comes in. I really know this is where it comes in. Alex, Alex, why, you've been feeling it, bro?
Starting point is 00:21:16 No, no, no, because you've been like having your little waves because I remember when you came in here and you were almost
Starting point is 00:21:22 at your wits end and now it's like, what was it about though? What was it about? I don't know. I know you're hanging out with you were almost at your wits end and now it's like... What was it about, though? What was it about? I don't know. I know you're hanging out with white people because you said wits end. Yes, I know, man.
Starting point is 00:21:30 That was some fucking weird shit. I'm at my wits end. Where you been this week? On a yacht? What the fuck is this guy talking about? I was at my wits end? Yo, I had a roommate and you were in my shithole apartment in Brooklyn?
Starting point is 00:21:43 To be completely frank with you, I think you just reached your wits end, didn't you? I had a roommate, and you were in my shithole apartment in Brooklyn. To be completely frank with you right now, I think you just reached your wit's end, didn't you? Mark got completely frank with us last week. I think it's something about that seat. What's inside of you, a dock sider? So why do I even know what it is? It's the shoes that you just slide into to go on a boat.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Those leather shoes white people wear with no socks. Yo, you remember my old shithole apartment in Brooklyn where it was like the rooms next to each other. You could hear everything. Yeah. One of my roommates hooked up with a brown girl. And I think she was Middle Eastern or Persian or something. And I was like, he ain't ready for this. And apparently she was with her sister.
Starting point is 00:22:19 First of all, her sister said, if you hook up with this this guy your pussy will turn into a toxic waste dump still got her back in the apartment and then the sister's calling and it's just brown girl drama for no reason they're just yelling at each other i'm hearing this shit for 30 minutes i'm getting fed up and then the thing that made me laugh was the whitest thing ever you remember my old roommate shout to alex i just hear him go i'm sorry I am at my wits end. 30 minutes of trying to convince this bitch to fuck you. I'm sorry. I am at my wits end.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Alex would do anything to get laid. I'm surprised that this shit happened. Alex always got wit for pussy. Not this Alex. No, not Alex. Alex is one X. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. But no, seriously, back to domestic violence shit.
Starting point is 00:23:07 Sometimes the husband just reaches his wits end. No, sometimes if you reach your wits end, I think domestic violence is caused by women who can't cook. All right, go. I think when you're in these situations, because I've been having a glorious time going home. I go home. It's easy. Place is fucking clean. My girl has nothing to do.
Starting point is 00:23:30 Well, she has to work during the day, but then after that, she's like looking for shit to do. So she starts making these elaborate meals. You know, everything's amazing. I come home to a delicious cooked meal every single day. What is there to fight about? We eat Have a glass of wine
Starting point is 00:23:46 Turn on the TV She's asleep Within five minutes Of turning on the TV Where is there room to fight? I wake up in the morning We kiss I go to work
Starting point is 00:23:56 Well you still have to work That's the difference That's a good point I didn't think about that Son You're not even living The quarantine life I'm really not
Starting point is 00:24:04 At all I know I'm really not It hit me last week okay this is what meaning she a couple times uh nah but uh his wits and hit him last yeah like quarantine like the feeling of being quarantined so what else nah what is it like quarantine describe it for us i like it yeah i like it it's like you you wake up when the fuck you want to. Yeah. And then you just like plan out your day like, oh, what do I want to do today? And then so what do you do?
Starting point is 00:24:32 Yeah, well, usually. I'm going to the living room at one. Yeah. No, but Al's been doing home workouts his whole life. Whoa. You do IG videos where you're doing pull-ups and your dick is out? No, but he can't go to the gym in his building no more. Oh, I thought those were in your fucking closet or whatever.
Starting point is 00:24:46 You just had a pull-up bar. You live in a fucking mansion, son? Yeah. You need to take a picture from your balcony Saturday. Anyway. Go on. Go on. Back to this.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Yeah, wake up. I'm like, all right. I do some steps. I've been going up flights. I'm up to 100 flights now. We don't care about your workouts. We care about you and your girl about to fight. No, but we haven't been.
Starting point is 00:25:11 Show us your dick, yo. What is going on right now? What is going on right now? Get to the Akash. Akash missed me, son. He's derailing. We're trying to get to domestic violence. Tell us about your exercise routine.
Starting point is 00:25:26 So talk to me about the – No, but quarantine, it's fine. Like it's – I don't feel – I thought you said last week you almost got to your wit's end. No, no, no. He said that. You just said. No, he said that about you.
Starting point is 00:25:38 No, you did. No, you said quarantine hit you last week. No, quarantine hit me last week. Yeah, because I now know how people feel because I was still coming to the studio before. And it's fine. So people feel great. It's awesome.
Starting point is 00:25:49 I think it's awesome. But other people... So everybody's making a big fucking deal about nothing. I think so. Is it like Swedish prison? Yeah, but with better TV. And worse sex? Yo, that's sex in Swedish prison was the shit. Yeah, they did curse me a little bit. Have that blonde pubes on your butthole? sex. That sex is sweet as
Starting point is 00:26:05 Christmas is shit. They did curse me a little bit. Have that blonde pubes on your butthole. They were more gentle. Okay. Anyway, I thought we
Starting point is 00:26:13 were going to have some sweet domestic violence stories, but some boxer got in trouble for posting that. What? Billy Joe Saunders, I think he was.
Starting point is 00:26:22 Some like British boxer got in trouble for posting something about domestic violence. They like said he couldn't fight anymore or something like that. And he's like, thanks. Nobody's fighting. But yeah, there was some big deal.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Did John Jones get arrested yet again? Yeah, fucking idiot. He's really a fucking idiot. Yeah. OK, who else is a fucking idiot? Oh, Dr. Drew apparently is a fucking idiot. Oh, yeah. Dr. Drew is out here saying how coronavirus is just a flu, is just a flu.
Starting point is 00:26:47 And then he comes out and says, Akash. So somebody just put up a sound thing of him saying for months, this is not going to be, the flu is worse. This is not a big deal. Not a big deal. Then all of a sudden, like a week ago, there's a sound clip of him saying, we knew this is going to kill more people than the flu. We knew that. I don't know why people are making such a big deal. Blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:27:02 man, we knew this was going to kill more people than the flu. We knew that. I don't know why people are making such a big deal. Blah, blah, blah. And then somebody, this guy put that clip on Twitter, and now he's suing to get the tweet taken down. And it's like, you know, you just draw more attention to it by suing, right? Right. If you just ignore the shit, it goes away.
Starting point is 00:27:17 I wonder, yeah, I agree with you 100% on that, but I wonder if you sue for the future. How so? You know, like a mafia dude if like you fuck him up or like uh fuck him over a cartel dude if you fuck him over it doesn't matter if the cartel's fine and you're fine he's still got to kill you or your dog or your horse or some shit to let you know you can't do it but everyone else got to also know you don't fuck with me and i wonder if he's suing this guy going the damage is done with this tweet okay but everybody who's gonna put out one of these things about me after this better be ready because i'm
Starting point is 00:27:51 coming for you and now the next person that's gonna think about making up that meme is gonna go man i don't know if i want to post this shit you know also if i could defend this guy you know how many doctors i was talking to that were like early on they were like this shit, I wish motherfuckers would act like this for the flu. Yeah. It's not going to be as bad as the flu. And now they're all like, yo, I was wrong. But what kind of doctor is he? I thought he's a therapist.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Yeah. He has an MD from. Oh, he has an MD. Yeah. I checked into it. I want to make sure. Him and Dr. Oz. I thought both of them were full of shit.
Starting point is 00:28:20 They both got MDs. But he just wrong. And that's his other thing if he just came out and he's like yeah i was wrong this shit is worse than the flu everybody be like well there you go you're whatever yeah but i think the fact that he was like we knew this that's where he fucked up but most doctors i talked to and some still are like yeah you know we really got to talk to how to a doctor about how they feel about people with phds calling themselves doctors oh they don't like that shit they don't like that shit because there is like an english major doctor about how they feel about people with PhDs calling themselves doctors.
Starting point is 00:28:46 Oh, they don't like that shit. They don't like that shit at all. Because there is like an English major at some fucking girl university. Barnard. Barnard or some shit like that that has a PhD in like literature. Yeah. Or something stupid. Yeah. Like poetry.
Starting point is 00:29:01 You can get a PhD in poetry. And they are called doctor. Yeah. And they can make you call them doctor. It's Dr. Yeah. Like poetry. You can get a PhD in poetry. And they are called doctor. Yeah. And they can make you call them doctor. It's Dr. Smith. Yeah. If you're a PhD, I'm like, is it? That's the thing.
Starting point is 00:29:13 I think in order for you to be called doctor, you have to be able to save lives. Yes. That's doctor. Yeah. My homie who's a dentist asked me to call him doctor. I don't call him doctor. I'm like, you're out of your fucking mind, yo. Maybe the surgeon dentist.
Starting point is 00:29:27 Oral surgeon. You got that. You went to medical school. Oral surgeons have to go to medical school. Doctor. Exactly. If you do braces, Fred.
Starting point is 00:29:35 That's Fred that does the braces. That's braces Fred. Yeah, I don't even call you doc. You and Doc Antle, the same amount of doctor. Yeah, you, Dr. Dre. Doc Antle, all that shit. Fuck out of here, bro.
Starting point is 00:29:50 Nah, we got to get to the bottom of it. It's a funny thing because it's like a- How dare you? You know what it is? It's like New York, New Jersey. The MDs are like New York and the other PhDs are like New Jersey. They're bridge and tunnel doctors? Yeah, they're bridge and tunnel doctors. You know how you kind of look down on Jersey?
Starting point is 00:30:04 No, I don't. I remember years ago I wanted to move to Jersey. They're bridge and tunnel doctors. Yeah, they're bridge and tunnel doctors. You know how you kind of look down on Jersey and Jersey's a lot of people. I remember like years ago, I wanted to move to Jersey. I remember years ago, I wanted to move to Jersey because Hoboken was nice. And you said, I'm not even lying to you. If you move to Jersey, we won't be as good of friends. I mean, I don't think we are. If I'm trying to be completely frank at my wit's end here, I really don't think, really don't think we're as close. We're not as close since we moved to Jersey. We used to hang out more. No, we hang out more because of the studio.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Now we're just here. Maybe. Maybe you're right. The studio saved the friendship. Maybe you're fucking right, man. Maybe you're goddamn right. But you know how we look down on Jersey as a just generally like, Jersey's kind of like a whack state. And Jersey has a ton of pride. I've never looked down on Jersey like that. I have. Yeah, but I never got
Starting point is 00:30:49 it. I never understood it. It's like none of these people chose to live in Jersey, Akash, but like you just grew up in. I always thought it was weird thing because I grew up in Manhattan and there was like this bridge and tunnel thing and where you would like kind of like make fun of the kids that came into the city from outside the city. And I i'm like none of these kids made the fucking choice to live in long island they're like queens and that kind of shit i don't understand why i get that but but so even as a young age i'm like oh my god it's just this stupid hierarchy shit we all got to create some hierarchies so we feel better than each other that's that's what it is that's exactly what it is and having lived in jersey it's a stupid state it's a fucking retarded state what's bad about it why do you know what a fucking jug handle is or what you
Starting point is 00:31:28 know what a jug handle is you can't take a left turn sometimes you gotta take a right turn drive around a loop and then wait at a stop site stoplight to take a left turn they're worried about like oncoming crashes i don't even think so because i've come closer to running that light that because i forget it's there than I have taken a – But the idea is that there are cars coming the other way. I think the idea is – I know in L.A. sometimes you have so many people trying to take a left turn, and there's no left turn arrow, so that just clogs up all the traffic.
Starting point is 00:31:57 I think the idea is it frees up traffic, but Jersey don't got traffic like that. Come on, yo, you're Jersey. Ain't nobody trying to go to you. Yeah. But anyway, Dallas and Houston. Houston got this big inferiority complex where they hate Dallas, got traffic like that come on yo you jersey ain't nobody trying to go to you yeah but anyway dallas and houston houston got this big inferiority complex where they hate dallas and dallas is like yeah y'all are kind of whack we kind of laugh at you but nobody really cares that's mds and phds mds are like yeah you're not really doctors that's cute that you think you are and then phds are like
Starting point is 00:32:18 no no we're the real doctors i'm a phd and they got this big inferiority complex about it wait they think they're the real doctors yeah yeah yeah why just cause that's all they got we have to convince ourselves how do you get a PhD
Starting point is 00:32:29 you just gotta write a paper a thesis this is so stupid you just gotta have a sentence and then make a paper out of it that's it that's all you have to do
Starting point is 00:32:38 you have to go to a little what's the quickest I'm about to become a PhD what is the quickest oh my god this guy what is the just to expose how stupid
Starting point is 00:32:45 it is look up if shack is a phd he's either he might be honorary i think he's honorary look it up though if you can can you look it up somebody you can't become an honorary md that's how you know that it's bullshit yeah yeah your shit is such bullshit you can become honorary yeah you cannot become an honorary md you can't be an honorary pilot. You're not a doctor if the degree is called a doctorate. Yo, you know what we should do? We should ask those PhDs, yo, why don't you have the PhD do your heart transplant? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:15 If you're a real doctor, why don't we have you do it? What? Bro, NBA star Shaquille O'Neal is a doctor now. O'Neal received his doctoral degree from education from Barry University along with 1,100 other students. 1,100 other kids. Come on, though. Yeah. Come on, though. But it doesn't say honorary, right? No.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Yeah. That's still some bullshit, though. So Shaq got an honorary run. What is the... Mark, can you Google what is the quickest way to get a PhD? I bet there's like a one-year intensive program. I could fucking knock that out. I mean, it's worth it.
Starting point is 00:33:50 You are retarded. What are we going to do? We can't do shows. We can't do anything. We're locked in. We're quarantined. Why is everybody not trying to be a doctor right now? I'm not calling you doctor.
Starting point is 00:33:58 I don't give a fuck how many PhDs you got. You will call me doctor. Everybody in this room will call me doctor. Dr. Schultz. Dr. Andrew Schultz. I want the whole name. If you get a PhD, I'm going to try to get a PhD too on some easier shit. I'm getting the easiest one.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Okay, what's the easiest PhD? You just have to write a thesis and then graduate. And then you can technically get a PhD within like a month. A month? How do I graduate? You just have to enroll within the school. Can you get an online PhD? I swear, if you can get an online PhD, they can go fuck themselves, all of them.
Starting point is 00:34:31 This is fucking nuts. Come on, yo. Son, I'm getting a PhD. Let's go. Let's fucking do it. Let's do something great during quarantine. All right, guys, we're going to stop for a second. I got to explain something to you guys.
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Starting point is 00:36:55 Now back to the show. What else is going on? I was right. ESPN is going to air the MJ. Netflix is airing it internationally. Okay internationally where ESPN doesn't exist. Okay. Yeah. I thought this was an ESPN thing because they were advertising this two years ago.
Starting point is 00:37:12 They made it. Yeah. ESPN 30 for 30 division made it. Yeah. So when Netflix was promoting it, I was like, what the fuck is going on? But then I realized ESPN doesn't exist in Spain. ESPN doesn't exist in England. ESPN doesn't exist in England. And the Dream Team was huge in Spain.
Starting point is 00:37:27 MJ was the biggest athlete in history. Yeah. I think. I think bigger than Ali. And I'm telling you, ESPN is hurting. Yo, they need it bad, and I'm glad because we need it bad. Everybody needs it bad. Everybody needs it bad.
Starting point is 00:37:44 And they're putting it out week by week, which is great because they'll be able to talk about it for that entire week on the rest of their programs. They're doing the right thing. Yeah. Kill the buffalo, use all the parts. Kill the buffalo, use all the parts. Do that for weeks.
Starting point is 00:37:58 But they are scrambling because the idea of a 24-hour sports network is there's always sports on. There's always something to talk about. Now there's no sports and they have always something to talk about. Now there's no sports and they have nothing else to talk about. Yeah. And that's why they're having
Starting point is 00:38:09 everybody tweet about it. That's why they're doing all this shit. And then there was this quote-unquote controversy where Rex Ryan got on the air and said, the Cowboys receiver
Starting point is 00:38:17 is not good. I wouldn't have paid him. Yeah. Called him a turd. And then... Which one? Amari Cooper. Yep.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Who's really good. Whatever. You can nitpick. Fine. Who cares? Point is ESPN suddenly starts playing this everywhere. And then a bunch of people start tweeting about it. And then Rex Ryan apologizes.
Starting point is 00:38:33 I don't think this is anything except ESPN saying we have nothing else. Make this a controversy. So we're relevant in any way, shape or form until April 18th. Let's just make up a fucking story. Call the guy a turd. That's not offensive. Who the fuck?
Starting point is 00:38:48 I wonder. I mean, it is weird that a newscaster is calling an athlete a turd. Sure, weird. But I wonder if they even need to tell them. Like these people make their living by talking about sports. There is no sports. Yeah. So the second something in sports happens, people talk about it.
Starting point is 00:39:06 I mean, what are we talking about right now? The exact same story. Oh, yeah. You know, I think that, yeah, I really think that they're so starved that no matter what you throw at them, they're going to eat it like ravenous dogs. 100%. This is also a signing that happened two weeks ago. Yeah. And like suddenly it's the one thing you can grab onto.
Starting point is 00:39:27 They probably just asked him out of 10 questions, a five-minute interview, this one. And then ESPN was like, let's fucking go. They should be talking about that fucking HBO doc. The scheme. I don't know if you guys at home saw that, but. We watched that as. I fell asleep about halfway through. Oh, fuck, yo.
Starting point is 00:39:42 Okay, good. I tried. I made it like two minutes. Should we talk about it on Patreon? No, no. Let's talk about it through. Ah, fuck, yo. Okay, good. I tried. I made it like two minutes. Should we talk about it on Patreon? No, no, let's talk about it now because I have something that leans into it. Okay. So for those of you guys who haven't seen it,
Starting point is 00:39:53 The Scheme is this documentary about the big NCAA bribery scandal that happened. And when it was being reported on ESPN and all these other networks, it seemed pretty clear cut that these coaches were getting bribed and that's how players were going to the universities, et cetera. And then this documentary comes out and really exposes, at least from what I saw of the first half, correct me if I'm wrong.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Why, what? The coaches are damn sure they were paying players. Yeah, but that wasn't the intention of Dawkins right so that I never knew okay so there's this guy named Christian Dawkins right and let me just back things up a little bit so people understand NBA players or NBA prospects are very valuable commodities yes Yes. Okay. If you want to relate it to Tiger King, they're the Cubs. Yeah. And you want to attach yourselves to them as early as possible. So they have loyalty to you. So one way that people do this is they have these handlers. So let's say
Starting point is 00:40:58 Akash, right? He's going to be this amazing basketball player. And I find out in middle school, he's going to be amazing basketball player, but his family's going on tough times. You know what I might do? I might throw his money. I might throw money at his family, right? I'm not attached to a college. I'm not attached to an agency. I'm not attached to a management company. I'm not attached to Nike or anything. I'm an individual person. This is not alone. Not alone. Hey, you got that. That's for you. That's for you. That's for you. Hoping that when the time comes, you will be loyal to me and I'll tell you which college is the best for you.
Starting point is 00:41:29 And guess what? That college is going to get you some money too. I'll tell you which agency is the best for you. I'll tell you which management company is the best. Right. Go. And it's probably going to be my agency or my management company.
Starting point is 00:41:39 If I'm part of it. But there are people who are not part of it and that's probably how World Wide West works. Yeah. You know, a lot of you guys have heard this character worldwide is it worldwide west yeah worldwide west uh and people he's the most influential guy in basketball but he's not part of an agency not part of a team not part of anything yeah adidas might pay worldwide west hey please can you put in a good word with derrick rose yeah send this send derrick rose to a school
Starting point is 00:42:02 that we sponsor there we go now we can start building that relationship. And they also talk about this. I don't know if you got to this part, but they talk about how much money these shoe companies pay these programs. I think Adidas or Under Armour pays UCLA like $270 million a year. Louisville gets like $160 million a year from Nike. Absurd amounts of money. Absurd amounts of money.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Now, you can reap the rewards of that uh on many different levels right obviously watching all the kids that are part of that school play in your sneakers and the best way is if i'm paying let's say i'm under armor paying ucla 260 million a year yeah hey the ben simmons let's say he's coming out he's this highly whatever prospect he's going to be great just push ben simmons ucla so more people watch ucla games so more people see ben simmons wearing adidas. Perfect. Or Under Armour, whatever it is. So many different ways, right? But that's definitely one. But as the initial investment goes, right,
Starting point is 00:42:52 if I'm giving your family a few thousand dollars, right, and you end up being an NBA player, which is incredibly difficult. We're talking about 30 guys are first-round draft picks a year. That's it, 30, right? Of the entire nation, now internationally,. That's it. 30, right? Of the entire nation now internationally, you're picking 30 a year, right? So when you see these middle school kids, you're hoping one day they might be worth that. But as they say in the documentary, it's really interesting. You only need one out of 10. It's almost like TV shows. A network only needs one hit show to pay for the entire network. It's like buying penny stocks.
Starting point is 00:43:23 Penny stocks. I buy them really cheap, and if one cracks off and I got Google, I'm set for life. 100%. So you're in this situation where this guy, Christian Dawkins, had recognized this as a really sharp kid. He was doing cool stuff as a kid.
Starting point is 00:43:41 I think when he was like 12 years old, he had this website ranking all the players in Michigan. It was charging coaches to get access to the website. 600 bucks a year. 600 bucks a year. So all these coaches, because they couldn't travel to Saginaw, Michigan, they were in Florida.
Starting point is 00:43:55 They still wanted access. It doesn't come out of their pocket. They're just getting the university to pay for it. Oh, get a nice scouting report. This kid's legit. So he was a sharp, industrious kid. He realizes, hey, the best way to do this shit is build relationships with the players
Starting point is 00:44:08 and their families at a young age. Now, something happened in the documentary, which happens a lot that people don't realize, which is the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the FBI, the feds, kind of entrapped him, in my opinion. Okay. Bureau of Investigation, the FBI, the Feds, kind of entrapped him, in my opinion. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:33 Entrapment, and the reason I know this is something that happens is because we were talking to one of El Chapo's lawyers for another episode earlier this week about money laundering and just about El Chapo shit in general. And he used to work on the attorney general side. So before he was a criminal defense attorney, he was actually a prosecutor. And he saw shit that the feds and the NYPD would do to kind of set up clients, right?
Starting point is 00:44:54 And so basically this Christian Dawkins guy is telling the feds, he doesn't know he's a fed. It's a guy who's an informant, right? He's telling them, hey, I don't want to bribe the coaches. It's stupid. They have no influence over the players. I have 10 times more influence than any coach. And the FBI wants to catch the coach.
Starting point is 00:45:11 The FBI sets up a system where, hey, Christian, you pay the coaches, and then the coaches will pay the players or whatever. What the FBI wants is a bribery scandal. Yes. So they create one. Yeah. Now, granted, coaches and universities have been paying players for years. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:27 So it's not entirely untrue, right? What they're like, apparently, if you're a kid that comes from like an urban big city, you're getting $250,000 a year, right? Dennis Smith Jr., I think he got a quarter million to go to play South Carolina or the fuck he played. NC State, yeah. NC State, North Carolina State, yeah. So it's like all these players are getting paid right where they're getting paid and how they're getting paid maybe it's from the university maybe it's from one of these handlers
Starting point is 00:45:53 but they're getting paid but the feds basically go we want to get coaches paying the players because coaches are attached to the institutions and coaches also are getting money from these brands these sneaker brands yeah that's a bigger fish if we just get this christian dawkins guy who's this quote-unquote low-level handler giving money to the players a few grand here a few grand of coaches that's not a national story we're not breaking down institutions it's just one actor yeah it means nothing so they kind of make it up they force christian dawkins even though he tells them multiple times no yeah they kind of bully him into agreeing to pay the coaches yeah and then does he even pay them
Starting point is 00:46:32 or he just keeps the money he keeps the money so he keeps the money he doesn't even pay the fucking coaches pays the coaches but is that legal to force someone into doing illegal activity that they tell you they don't want to do and have no interest in doing? Yeah, I think they... That should be illegal. I think they essentially are trying to get him on keeping their money. Because he would take the money they paid him and he would just keep it. He would never give it to a coach.
Starting point is 00:46:54 He'd just go out to the strip club or the casino or whatever. And he kept... So the money... You find this out later in the movie. When he gets arrested, they basically bring him into a hotel room and they play all these recordings or whatever they're like he's supposed to go in for a meeting there's two feds there and then the lady that's the undercover officer is like we got you you can either cooperate with us or you can call a lawyer and then he's like let me talk to a lawyer and then immediately
Starting point is 00:47:18 they got motherfuckers bust in with guns they throw him in jail on some real alex shit the first two nights he was in in Sweden where he's in there with like, he said, I'm in a prison cell and El Chapo is upstairs. That's who they got me with. That grade of criminal.
Starting point is 00:47:32 And he won't snitch. He's like, I'm not telling on any of these coaches. They're hoping to use him to tell on the coaches and he's got, they got recorded phone calls
Starting point is 00:47:41 of coaches basically saying, we're paying this guy, but they never actually used the words we are paying him money. So they're trying to get him to be a CI. Like you wear a wire, you go and you have other meetings with these guys, get them on tape saying you were going to pay this player money, $125,000, and you're good, and he won't do it. So now they're trying to bring him up on something.
Starting point is 00:48:01 And they come up with wire fraud. I don't know what the fuck they it's they do some shit on some bullshit some al capone elliot nest shit oh we can't get him on anything like murder so we'll get him on tax evasion it's the same kind of thing so this is what they do they work up the ladder yeah they set this guy up they basically entrap him yeah okay and that because they know by entrapping him, he has such close proximity to coaches that then he might flip on the coaches. Yes. But they have to create a crime for him to commit. Yes. And I'm sure this happens a lot.
Starting point is 00:48:34 And dude, it's fucked up. I didn't know that it operated like this. And I was talking to this lawyer guy. He said this. This fucking blew my mind. He was working for the for the Bronx attorney general's office or bronc district attorney and he was representing this uh heroin dealer yeah low level heroin dealer not saying it's okay it's a shitty fucking thing to do he's representing this heroin dealer he was like a part-time heroin dealer he sold a little bit but it wasn't his main thing and the informant the ci right is telling him every week hey we got a few more guys downtown hey we need bigger quantities can you get us a bigger coin we got like 100 guys on town and the guy on the recorder taping is saying yo please stop calling
Starting point is 00:49:16 me i don't want to do this anymore i'm out leave it no hey it's the easiest thing in the world it's a no-brainer literally they're just these rich guys i'm done i'm he's saying i'm done now ultimately he makes his decision you make your choice you have to live with your choices but you shouldn't be tricked into breaking the law by the law right like that that should be illegal that is a definition of entrapment and he couldn't get this guy off they still flip this guy and i'm realizing that shit happens all the fucking time yeah you're a pawn but that should be illegal should be you can't and i understand what they're trying to do is they're they're probably using that guy and they want him to flip on someone bigger and that's how they move up the ladder but you got to get me to flip based on a crime that i already did by myself you can't trick me into committing a crime and then get me to flip.
Starting point is 00:50:05 Yeah. You know what this reminds me of? It's foul, man. It's foul. You know what this reminded me of? And I think it applies here. First of all, I'm always skeptical watching a documentary
Starting point is 00:50:14 because we talked about this before. A documentary is a 90-minute political ad. Right, right, right. For whatever you want me to believe, you got 90 minutes. Right. But I kept thinking about this the whole time. The whole world in the workforce is just either motherfuckers trying not to get fired want me to believe you got 90 minutes right but i kept thinking about this the whole time the whole
Starting point is 00:50:25 world in the workforce is just either motherfuckers trying not to get fired or motherfuckers trying to get promoted that's it that's the only thing that's happened in any job when you boil down boil it down to it so there's fbi agents who are sitting there thinking how can i get a promotion you know i can get a promotion i bet if i bring down college coaches in a bribery scandal because we all know they get paid but nobody has, and we all say it's illegal, but nobody can prove it, I'm going to be the fucking guy to do it. So you get the FBI to give you all this money, all this taxpayer money, and if you watch the movie, they're paying him $50,000. They pay him $150,000 at another time. They're running out fucking yachts feeding this guy.
Starting point is 00:51:02 This is all money I'm taking on because I want this fucking promotion. I'm going to bring down the college coaches. Yes. Now when the case gets flimsier, you are reaching. When the guy says, I want out, you start to think,
Starting point is 00:51:12 fuck, not only am I not going to get promoted, I can get fired over this. We sunk a lot of money into this guy and now he wants out? Keep him in. Keep him on the line. Start panicking.
Starting point is 00:51:21 Say shit like, all right, well, you know, whatever money you want for your company is going to disappear. That's fine. Whatever money you want for your company, this is what it's fine whatever money you want for your company this is what this is what
Starting point is 00:51:26 it's going to be so then you say okay fine and then when the the da or the fbi fucked up and the new york city district attorney came out and had this whole press conference and say we got this guy christian dawkins and we know you he said something like we know your playbook now college coaches be ready which is basically putting their dick on the table like, oh, y'all motherfuckers about to go down. They really overplayed their hand there. They should have just waited in the cut, got somebody else to flip. If this guy wouldn't, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:51:55 But I think they're all just seeing their whole careers go up in flames. Like, we got this guy Christian Dawkins. The only reason we got this guy, and we kind of entrapped him, the only reason we got him is to get him to roll over on other people. If he's not going to roll over, we wasted all this time, all these resources. Let's see if we can scare them into doing something. Let's see if we can have a press conference, tell the coaches, you're fucked. But the coaches never say specifically on tape, we are going to pay him money.
Starting point is 00:52:20 They would say shit like, I know the money this school is offering. I know what this school is off i know what this school is offering him is not what my school is offering they got will way the lsu coach talking about some player like yo i don't know if it's worth it we made a strong offer and he's not taking it i know our offer is better than everybody else's offer now we can all assume that's money but in a court of law with well like well-paid lawyers they'll be like that that could be anything that could be we'll give you the best scholarship and the best opportunity to have an education it's all i could there's no actual
Starting point is 00:52:50 proof there so i think it's just this whole thing was just a lot of motherfuckers panicking on the federal side and rushing an investigation and christian dawkins who i don't think is some angel but he shouldn't have gone to jail he got caught caught up in this machine. How long did he go? He's still appealing. So he hasn't actually served. He got sentenced to six months and appealed. Right now he has not gone. And I think in the same way that this,
Starting point is 00:53:15 the Tiger King got Carol's investigation reopened, this documentary could get him to, the whole public would be like, what the fuck is this? You're going to send this guy to jail? He sounds like the fucking man. I think he a little bit. He didn't sneak.
Starting point is 00:53:27 There's some little shit about him. He was sneaky. He was running up the tab. So here's some shit. His first company, he left them, went to another company, and the first company was an agency
Starting point is 00:53:38 or something like a financial firm, and they had Elfriede Payton, one of their people. He says he got fired because he ran up forty two thousand dollars worth of uber charges on elfrid payton's credit card yeah elfrid elfrid the way he said it happened is i was getting ubers for elfrid an all-star weekend or nba draft weekend or whatever and he just put his card on my account and i forgot to change it
Starting point is 00:53:59 and then at my new company everybody was using my i'm getting ubers for everybody and it got up to forty two thousand dollars i didn't realize what happened i have a hard time believing And then at my new company, everybody was using my, I'm getting Ubers for everybody, and it got up to $42,000. I didn't realize it happened. Oh. I have a hard time believing. Knowing people who had corporate jobs, there's two ways this happens. One, they give you their credit card if they're going to have you booking everybody's shit. Say, hey, this is the corporate card.
Starting point is 00:54:16 Plug that in. That's where you book everything. Or you give me an expense report. If it's on your card and you get the points, which you want because you get like the miles and all that shit, fine, but you got to send us expense reports. If it's on your card and you get the points, which you want because you get like the miles and all that shit, fine, but you got to send us expense reports.
Starting point is 00:54:27 We need deadlines. So you are constantly aware of that. To think, if they gave you a card, you got to go change it. And to think, I'm letting everybody
Starting point is 00:54:35 use my credit card and my credit card statement is $400 every month and it never occurs to me that I'm booking everyone's fucking Uber. Like, really,
Starting point is 00:54:43 that didn't cross your mind? The company's not asking for expense reports? You're not noticing your expenses are that high? And he's just making it? Like, really, that didn't cross your mind? The company's not asking for expense reports? You're not noticing your expenses are that high? And he's just making it seem like, oh, I just, hey, harmless mistake. You, it wasn't that harmless. You can't be that dumb.
Starting point is 00:54:54 No, he did it. Yeah. He did it exactly. I think what it was is, because most of my friends have, like, corporate jobs, they front the money for things, and then they get it paid back to them by the business
Starting point is 00:55:05 by the corporation but the business needs an expense report yeah exactly so um what i think he did is i think alfred asked him to put the uh you know his card on his uber i think that absolutely happened i think he kept it on there and i think most of his ubers were cheap and alfred probably wouldn't notice and he'd go go, this guy ain't going to notice a fucking $8 charge, a $9 charge. I'm going to leave that shit on. Or he actually forgot. Or he truly forgot. That is possible.
Starting point is 00:55:35 Then he goes to this new company. He does run up those charges. But he is putting in this expense report. And he must know he doesn't have $41,000 worth of charges on his phone. But then again, it could be over X amount of months. We don't know how many months it is. That being said, let's say the worst case. And I think worst case scenario, he knew he's getting reimbursed the money. The money's coming back to him. He's taken that $40,000 over X amount of months from Alfred Payton. Yeah, that is worst case scenario. But all the while he's gone. Oh,
Starting point is 00:56:04 I'm going to just say I forgot to charge a car back. And I'm not keeping in touch with my expenses or that kind of shit. There is some nefarious shit there. Look, he did some sneaky shit. Even when he had that website early on when he was ranking the players, he ranked himself and lied about his height and lied about his skills.
Starting point is 00:56:20 Put himself number one. He's putting the work in. 100%. Don't get me wrong. i'm just saying he's willing to manipulate some things for his advantage yeah right so but i mean he was doing this already before the feds came to him right like like he was so what he would do he was the handler and when he and this isn't illegal in any way he would pay the players and their families and there is no law that says you can't violate the ncaa rules're going to jail. That's true. Because here's the thing. You're not signing to them.
Starting point is 00:56:46 This is the risk. So let's say, Al, you're an athlete, and I'm paying you and your family $10,000 a month or $5,000 a month. As long as you don't sign anything to me, that's totally fine. You don't know what I'm paying you for. It could be a donation. I'm helping out a friend. Hey, I really like you, bro.
Starting point is 00:57:05 So I understand that. But I mean, the reason why I think he falls on the better side of things is because when the feds tried to get him to turn, he hasn't turned. Yeah, but it's also like, who are you not turning on? College coaches? Like, who gives a fuck, dude? Turn on him. Nah.
Starting point is 00:57:20 Like, he's doing business. He's standing up. And you know what else these college coaches will do that's real fucking kind of foul, and if you want to talk about some race shit. Did I miss the race component of this? No, they don't bring it up a lot, but you notice that the guys who, most of the guys who get jail time,
Starting point is 00:57:34 one of them is white. Two assistant coaches, one guy at Adidas, I think, and then one white guy at Adidas. Did Book get jail time? Book got jail time. Three months or six months. Oh, fuck. So here's the, like, I think think Book worked for whatever college Book worked for.
Starting point is 00:57:47 LSU. LSU. Here's an example. Will Wade won't say on the phone, the LSU head coach won't say on the phone, hey, we're going to pay whoever $100,000 to come to our school. He'll use terms like we're going to make a strong offer. And then the actual money, he won't touch. He'll have his black assistant coach do it.
Starting point is 00:58:04 That guy's the one who gonna run the money so if i'm fucking whatever his name is and i could flip on will wade and fuck will wade's exploiting my boy anyway he's homies with book yeah whoever the coach is that he works for is exploiting book fuck this dude that's the game and he noticed from a young age he talked about the people that would come to saginaw to recruit these kids were white dudes with money and he's like i don't want to make it super racial. Remember that part at the beginning? He was like, that's what it was. You know the game.
Starting point is 00:58:28 This is the game, yo. You could flip on these guys, and I would have no problem if we put you on these dudes. I thought that was his way of going, like, I'm not going to let these white guys come in and exploit black athletes. I'm going to make sure black people can exploit black athletes. That's exactly what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I don't think the guy's like some— he's walking out of this looking like an angel and i think what happened to him was foul but i don't think he's an angel if i can you know what i mean and also at the end
Starting point is 00:58:54 his mom who's the the biggest g in the entire thing did you hear this part of it when he goes to jail he said the only time he's in there for like three four days whatever he said the only time i cried is i call my mom and then my sister gets on the phone and my sister can get me to cry when she's whatever. So I start crying. And then my mom basically she then they go to her and she said, I asked him, I said, son, did you kill anybody? He said, no. I said, did you did you rape anybody? He said, no.
Starting point is 00:59:19 Did you hurt anybody? He said, no. She goes, then suck it the fuck up. Stop crying. You're going gonna come home and then he came home like three days later but she was just like you can't look like no bitch like stop that shit and she's she loves her son she's not like a hard ass she never comes across as like tough love tough love she's dope at the end she reads a letter that he wrote her when i
Starting point is 00:59:41 guess he decided not to go to college he literally says says, I am great. I am like Gandhi. I think he said, I am like Martin Luther King. That guy and capitalism don't go together. You can't be Gandhi and a billionaire. You know what I mean? Like those guys are always guys that I'm like, there's some weird shit going on with this dude. Like you're, I don't trust you. Christian Dawkins.
Starting point is 01:00:00 Christian Dawkins wrote that letter to his parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm great. I'm this, I'm that. I know what I'm going to be. I am Gandhi. Yeah. I am Martin Luther King.
Starting point is 01:00:08 I am the, and it's like, no, you're not. Like, Andrew Carnegie and Martin Luther King are very different people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't think you're doing all this good and you're, listen, you're helping families out, but you're doing it to exploit them later. Yeah. Like, you're not going to be the best agent. You're not going to, he never said like,
Starting point is 01:00:25 I wanted, I studied how to be a great agent so I could get my players the best deals possible at all times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that's an interesting question.
Starting point is 01:00:32 It's like, how do you, what are the ethics of exploitation? You know, like, the NBA is exploiting players, but they're paying them enough where it's okay to exploit them.
Starting point is 01:00:44 Like, there's a fine line. It's not like you're not allowed to exploit someone. Sure. You just have to pay them enough to exploit them. Every job is exploitative on some way. If you are making more of me than I'm making off you, why the fuck am I paying you? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:59 That's the end of it. Every job at the end of the day, if you're not making your money, that's why we're all trying not to get fired, because none of us are really worth what we're getting paid. So we're just trying to find shit. Remember when you had a show on MTV, and they would just find notes? They'd be like, oh, let's fix this. It's just because that person wanted to have a suggestion, so motherfuckers wouldn't look at him and be like, what do you do? Yeah, everybody's trying to keep their job. Yeah, because most of us don't get paid.
Starting point is 01:01:21 But the exploitative thing is interesting. Like, where is the line, right? Like, if LeBron James got paid $10 million a year, most of us wouldn't go, he's not being, most of us wouldn't go, he's being exploited. Most people look at $10 million and they're like, oh my God, you get paid $10 million to play basketball? That's unbelievable. This guy's the luckiest man on the planet.
Starting point is 01:01:43 But if he makes a team a billion dollars or makes a team several hundred million dollars, he's being exploited. He's vastly underpaid. So what is the line for exploitation? Like, is it you need to make half of what you're making the company that you're working for? You need to make a third. You need to make a tenth. Like, what is the line for exploitation? That make a third you need to make a tenth like what is the line for exploitation that's a good point so then maybe even him helping out the family
Starting point is 01:02:09 it's exploitation but it's all every job is exploitation so maybe it's like sure I let's take a break for a second pay some bills man uh look you're sitting right now you're in your underwear you probably in a t-shirt probably in some socks I want you to take a look at your underwear, t-shirt, and socks. Your essentials, okay? You're not trying to flex on nobody. You're not trying to look fly as fuck in your quarantine. You're chilling in your crib in your comfortable essentials. Look at those socks, look at your underwear, and look at that shirt you're wearing, and tell me they're not absolutely disgusting. Stretched out, worn down. Yes, you need something new.
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Starting point is 01:04:56 Go get comfortable. Let's get back to the show. Well, right now we're going to have a conversation with a man that's been exploiting america canadian man that's been out here exploiting the great capitalist market of america a a father an author, a podcast host, a cigar connoisseur, an ex-stripper. I want everybody here on Flagrant 2 to say hello to our dear friend, Aaron Berg. Aaron Berg, can you hear us? What an honor. What a great intro show.
Starting point is 01:05:44 Thanks, man. I try to do a great intro show. Thanks, man. I try to do a good intro. I see you there. I don't know if you're in your, what is that? There's a vice grip? The fucking wood shop? What's going on, man? Yeah, what's going on?
Starting point is 01:05:54 What's happening here? It's my bunker, man. This is what I put my nuts in every Tuesday morning to remind me that I got a feel, man. Talk to me, Berg. What's going on? Guys, everybody, this is my friend Aaron Berg. Very funny comic. You might have seen his 25 sets documentary about him.
Starting point is 01:06:11 28? 25. How many sets you do that night, Berg? 25. 25. I'll take it from here, huh, Kosh? Yeah, my bad. He's – so, and you might have seen his documentary.
Starting point is 01:06:21 He goes and he breaks the record that was held by Steve Byrne, I believe, for doing the most sets in New York City in one night. You can go check that out. I'm sure anywhere documentaries are downloaded, iTunes, et cetera. Is that correct? You got it. Amazon Prime. But, Byrne, talk to me, man.
Starting point is 01:06:36 What's going on? How are you? How is life? I'm in Delaware. I'm hunkered down. I'm at my in-law's place. So this is my studio for right now. And then I'm going to use the upstairs apartment once I can figure out how to get a wifi signal in there.
Starting point is 01:06:51 There's like an apartment over the garage. Right. So that's, that's going to be the new studio. And I'm going to stay here. I'm guessing the peak hit. So I'd probably be good to get back to New York tomorrow or the day after. It seems like Queens is all cleaned up now. That's sarcasm. Why didn't you go to Canada? You had the ability to go to Canada with your health care and your amazing woke comedy scene. Why did you go nestle yourself into the comfort of Canada when you had the opportunity to? My wife doesn't have Canadian citizenship. So even if I went back and I was able to get Canadian health care, that would have been a plus. But I don't need it. I have health insurance. I don't even know why I pay for health insurance because I'm pretty healthy
Starting point is 01:07:36 aside from smoking cigars. I don't drink or anything. So once in a while I go to the doctor maybe a couple of times a year. I could pay for it out of pocket. My wife can't go up there. We got nowhere to stay unless we stay with my parents. But they're giving the citizens $2,000 a month. No questions asked. Every citizen is getting $2,000 a month. Now, how does a hardcore American, I don't know, what are your politics, libertarian?
Starting point is 01:08:03 Libertarian. How does a hardcore American libertarian feel about the government, the big bad government, giving away $2K a month? I mean, that seems like it would compromise some of those libertarian values, no? Canadian taxes are higher than American taxes. You know, you probably pay taxes now. I pay taxes now. They're expensive. No, he's rich enough that he's not paying taxes.
Starting point is 01:08:26 And I'm going to say this shamelessly. When I first moved here, I was on Medicaid. I took from the system because I was making no money. I moved from making six figures in Canada, moved to the United States where I was making $80 a week doing $20 spots at Eastville. And I had no money. So I was on Medicaid Eastville. And I have no money. So I was on Medicaid for several months until I started making money. And now I pay back into the system. I understand that the world is going through a big thing. I don't know if bailouts are the answer. I don't know if throwing government money look,
Starting point is 01:09:01 would you learn more? If you really went through the shit? If you and I, guys that were, we're in very different positions. I make a good living. So if for a year or two years, if I had the baked beans and really struggle and shoot live animals to feed my family, would I come out of that better than just going oh there's a bailout so my stocks are worth what they used to be again i think humanity would learn a better lesson if we really went through the shit i think the economy would fix itself without having money injected into it and there'd be more pressure to find a cure and get people back to living modern society or evolving into this new type of society yeah but doesn't that ignore collateral damage of people being like, oh, instead of hunting
Starting point is 01:09:47 a live animal, why don't I just steal from my neighbors? Oh, gosh, they don't teach that at the Bernie Sanders School of Economics. That's clear where Bernie went to. They don't need to steal from these other people because they are living above 115th Street. And if you live up there, then you can steal from the 1%. I think it's an interesting perspective it's happening right i'm not in new york i left before the shit hit the fan we're here
Starting point is 01:10:11 it's it's very comfortable the only issues i'm dealing with is like bob and nancy play fox news too loud so it gets christine all amped up right that's it and. And your wife, your wife, Christine, comedian. Now, have you guys had any domestic violence issues? I was like, you got nowhere to go. They shut the shelters. You're going to go over there. You're going to catch a fucking cop. Don't fucking come at me with your I got an opinion. We're getting a long way. But I dumped my therapist since i've been here i used to go to the therapist that all the comics in the city would go to and every tuesday after i'd leave christine and i would argue because he put all this stuff in my head and be like here's
Starting point is 01:10:57 here's what you need to work on because she's not getting this and it and then i go first of all i'm not going to pay the money i'm paying you to do sky. And I like him. He's a nice guy. But we're connecting now. At home, we don't connect because it's like, look, I got shit to do. I got to run here. I got to do the show. I got to run around, do spots. She's got to do spots. She's got to fucking do this. Here we connect. There's this. This is a beautiful reset. I don't know if you've acknowledged and I'm sure you have but it's like, every night I put my daughter to sleep. Even though my wife is on her period for those like 23 days out of the month. It's like I'm connecting better with her. There's just the connection now.
Starting point is 01:11:39 Yeah. So this morning, she's you know, she's bleeding fucking upstairs looks like a flag of Japan. And then she comes downstairs. And she's like, I'm in a bad mood. I'm on my period. I didn't sleep. But now she acknowledges it. It's not like home where she's just all this fucking pent up baggage. And you know, she never dealt with the rate she had when she was 18. But it's like that shit. It here. We're getting along. We're really connecting. And this makes me think maybe we don't go back to New York.
Starting point is 01:12:09 Really? Yeah. We got a house in Forest Hills, and it's like maybe we make a move. I mean, not that. I talked to Kevin Brennan. He's like, I'm fucking moving to Florida. And I heard a rumor that Bobby Kelly may be doing the same thing. I don't know if it's true.
Starting point is 01:12:27 Tim Dillon had an interesting prediction. He goes, I think that cities will be different, that people will move out of the cities. That was either Tim Dillon or my buddy Bobby. But one of them were basically saying that I don't think they're basically saying they don't think that people will live in uh inner cities or urban environments and it won't be as drawn to the urban environments especially old people like old people get out of the city real quick my parents in their 70s living in new york city that might not happen post pandemic i read i read a bloomberg article yesterday uh because i was searching for breitbart and it came up first.
Starting point is 01:13:05 But it says that New York is going to become what it was in the 70s and 80s. It's going to have like a full on Hell's Kitchen vibe where it's going to be young, struggling, suffering people that are willing to deal with the threat of a virus as they did the threat of crime in the 70s. And like you knew in the 70s and 80s, you were going to get mugged in New York. Here you're like, hey, I may get the virus, but I could become an actor. So people are going to do that, which means rents are going to drop again. The city is going to be more affordable. There's going to be way less old people. And they also said that it'll be divided and segregated based on who's had the virus and who hasn't had the virus.
Starting point is 01:13:46 And how will they do that? They're going to give certificates. This is the prediction. If you test positive, you have to test. You can't be like, I had it. You have to have a test, a positive test. You'll get a certificate. You had the virus.
Starting point is 01:13:58 You can't have it again. You may go to these places. You didn't have the virus. There you go. Enjoy your shitty bar eight feet away from each other where three people can hang out and sing sweet caroline till 11 o'clock that's gonna be it wow i feel like this is assuming we don't have a vaccine within the next 18 to 24 months i mean we will have a vaccine yeah that's what i'm saying i don't know if it
Starting point is 01:14:21 gets all dystopian like that it's not gonna. No, we will have a vaccine within the next year. But the question is, do people go out to shows if we don't have a vaccine? That's what I'm wrestling with. And I don't know. I think so. I don't know, man. I don't know. I hope. Obviously. I mean, that's my livelihood but i don't know if people will go out to shows because they've been fed so much information like hey it's not about you it's about you know the old lady that lives next to you or your grandma or all these other people that are passing because they are passing they are dying for it and no from it nobody wants to be responsible responsible for that death i think once the curve flattens there will still be a little bit of like once the death
Starting point is 01:15:03 rate slows down once the rate of infection slows down, but it stops being so fucking steep. But here's the thing. Like, let's say it's steep or not steep. At the end of the day, you don't want to be responsible for killing your grandma. There are people who don't give a fuck. Say again. Mine are both dead. Fair enough.
Starting point is 01:15:19 And so are mine. So I'm not going to kill my grandma. But like, God forbid you killed your parent or some shit. Dude, I'm telling you, i think my dad has no symptoms but my parents flew in the heart of it from florida to canada they get home they're like you gotta quarantine for 14 days my mom goes okay i'll just go get some apples and shit so she goes out to the grocery store and some lady sees her and yells at her. And she goes, you cannot be out. My mother comes home. She's like, I was so embarrassed.
Starting point is 01:15:50 I was just trying to buy apples, apples. And I go, my, you can't go out just to get apples. You've got to go out and get a whole bunch of shit at once. And you've got to wait till the quarantine's over. But my dad had a kidney transplant. So he's a moon, a moon, no compromised, as they say. And he flew in the heart of it. And they're like, yeah, we didn't touch anybody like you. They don't get older people don't get it. And they don't really care either. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:16:15 they don't understand. They don't they don't stand by the six foot rule. I go to the grocery store. Old ladies will push up on you. They don't care, old people. Bob and Nancy, my in-laws, they go, eh, if we get it, we get it. We're ready to die. You know who's not afraid of you killing old people is old people. Yeah. Hey, whatever, man. I'm about done anyway.
Starting point is 01:16:36 It is a weird time now where we're all pretending like we've cared about old people. They're maybe the one group of people in society that everybody has not given a flying fuck about right you throw them in a home you don't call them you don't care about them etc i mean maybe minorities you take care of yeah we need to give a fuck that is not an american thing right like and all of a sudden we're screaming at each other to stay inside to protect the old people that just a month ago we didn't give a flying fuck about. It's kind of interesting. You just don't want the guilt of I killed him.
Starting point is 01:17:10 That's what I'm saying. It's selfish. So if we have that selfish feeling, right? We don't really care about them. We just want to weed into it. Right. So if you know you have old people in your building, are you going to go to a comedy show knowing full well that you could kill that old person upstairs? I honestly think there's a point at which you won't give a fuck.
Starting point is 01:17:27 Yeah, I guess. There's a point at which you'll be like, eh, it'll be just like the Holmes. Like, yeah, out of sight, out of mind. The curve is flattened. I'm going to go out. I've been in the house for two months. You fucking crazy. You know how much?
Starting point is 01:17:38 I'm going to watch more Netflix. Everybody's already made this joke. We've been to the end of Netflix. Yeah, so my concern is my concern is what happens is this and i don't want this to be the case i'm just presenting it is that people go back out right if people go back out and this thing surges again right yeah there's a second wave yeah nobody's going back out again until everybody's vaccinated. Right.
Starting point is 01:18:13 And if I was the nefarious powers that be that want control of the world or wherever the fuck they are, I would hope people go back out. I would hope there's a second wave because then they could really put the clamps on us. And you know who would help them put the clamps on us? We would. We'd be punishing each other for leaving the fucking house we'd be telling each other hey you better not go unless you got a chip in your arm that says you got the vaccine now they got the chip in but why would the powers that be this is a devil's advocate more than sure please why would the powers that be want that if what runs the economy is essentially transactions yeah i don't understand like a phd fake doctor but essentially
Starting point is 01:18:44 we need transactions for the economy to go. And if everybody's staying in, this is the whole thing where like the cure can't be worse than the virus. I don't think that, I think that the powers that be are above the economy. So I don't think the powers that be are ever economy dependent. I think the powers that be actually thrive in times like this. If you look like at any like rich group of people, they've made all their money in times of tragedy, not times of triumph. This is when rich people are buying
Starting point is 01:19:08 and is when the market is hit like this. So they can't wait for the shit to pop up. It's like, you look at the rich, rich, rich families. They either made it with drug money or they made it with war money. By war money, I mean they literally bet on the wars. Yeah, that's fair. So if they see the shit hit the fan,
Starting point is 01:19:24 they're like, ooh, we're about to eat again, baby. I was if they see the shit hit the fan they're like oh we're about to eat again baby i was waiting for the shit to hit the fan now they eat again and they have control i would say they would look forward to a recession i don't know because if people if there's a second wave of motherfuckers not going out i don't think it's a recession i think it's a depression i think no like no businesses are left yeah and i don't know if they want to ride through a depression to make their money i think they'll ride through the recession but the depression i don't even think it's like the lives i think it's just like it's too much time it's like i'm not gonna see these people so isolated and so unaffected we're talking about like money that
Starting point is 01:19:56 doesn't go away we're not talking about like millionaire rich where like you're a millionaire but then you lose your million and then you're jumping out of the building and Wall Street. We're talking about like generational wealth where it's effective in the smallest way. But you'll be able to bump up, bump that up by purchasing all this shit that has gone broke anyway. Like you see classism really being exhibited right now because we'll talk about it. And when it hit, I was like, you know what? I'm not hand to mouth. I've got I'm good for a bit i if this goes on for a bit i can live i'm not saying i'm going out buying a new car or a harley
Starting point is 01:20:30 but we can get by for a little bit you know what i mean and then you're at that level too where obviously it's like okay we're not i don't gotta fucking sell everything i have but look at on the lower levels people that didn't have their first month of rent and people that are hoping that those rent breaks are given and then it doesn't make sense because you see it where people are like, you still got to pay rent, but this guy that you pay it to doesn't have to pay his mortgage. So you get to see how richer people make money right away. They're saving money on the interest on the mortgage. It's like if you're rich, you're making more money through. And then the real rich people, this is money-making time.
Starting point is 01:21:06 Yes. Because when that market went from 29 down to 20 or 19, you don't think you're swooping in, buying, knowing it's going to rebound to at least 27? How about 20? Are you going to make a third of your money back? Dude, there's – Like snapping your fingers.
Starting point is 01:21:21 All right. We got to stop for a second. I got to tell you guys about something very, very cool. Very, very, very, very cool from our people over at Radix Remedies. Shout out to everybody at Radix Remedies for what they are doing. There is a hand sanitizer problem in this country in that not enough people can get hand sanitizer. Okay? The guys at Radix Remedies realized this.
Starting point is 01:21:41 They did a little research. realize this. They did a little research. Turns out the machines they use to make CBD, pretty much the same machines that are used to make hand sanitizer. So what they're doing is they're making hand sanitizer. They've shut down some of the CBD machines.
Starting point is 01:21:56 They've started to make hand sanitizer. It gets better. For every bottle of hand sanitizer you guys buy, I buy, Alex buys, Akash buys, Mark buys, they're going to donate a free one to healthcare workers that actually need it. That's fucking dope. They're not even making money off the hand sanitizers.
Starting point is 01:22:15 So not only do we get hand sanitizer, which is incredibly hard to come by, every time you buy it, another bottle gets donated to people who truly need it. You get to feel like a good person while getting the thing that you need. I cannot fathom that there is a better opportunity for all of you at home than this to do the bare minimum to help out these healthcare workers and other people that need the sanitizers. Very simple. Radixremedies.com. Obviously, you know the promo code flagrant. Always can be used because they have tons of great CBD stuff there.
Starting point is 01:22:52 I've spoken about it at Nauseam on this podcast. You guys should already know. We can speak about it again. You got the flour. You got the pre-rolled joints. You got the sleep time gummies. Okay? You got the just regular gummies.
Starting point is 01:23:04 You got the nootropic. the, what's it called? The drops, right? You can put the drops. Helps with brain function, memory, every bit of cognitive ability. And it gets there faster because you're not digesting in the belly. It hops on the back of that CBD, goes right to your brain, hooks it all up. You could do all these things. Go for it right now, Radix Remedies. But
Starting point is 01:23:29 most importantly, get yourself some hand sanitizer. Go do that, man. Help yourself and help the people that are fighting this fight. Yo, I cannot find the message, but somebody messaged me that a few weeks ago. He said, I drove by the Radix Remedies store. That was a Radix Remedies storefront. Went in there,
Starting point is 01:23:45 said I was asshole army. They gave me free product and he said this shit was incredible. He said, there's no way you weren't high off that CBD drink.
Starting point is 01:23:54 I wish I could find it. I'll shout him out next time we do a read. Well, DM us. If you're that guy, DM us so we can shout you out on the Patreon. But yeah,
Starting point is 01:24:01 now let's get back to the show. I'm going to fuck this up a little bit, right? But there's this family. I'm sure everybody's heard about the Rothschilds, right? I don't want to have to get into conspiracy shit We'll just talk about factual shit, right? And there was a time Where this is before information was passing quickly
Starting point is 01:24:16 This is before internet Before phone calls, that kind of stuff This is like people were handing messages Courier yeah service right and i believe maybe world war one does that make sense maybe maybe it was war even prior to that i'm fucking up which war was point is it was thought that england was going to lose that war right because that guy had such sophisticated personal courier service because his way of getting information around was faster he knew that they had actually won this battle before
Starting point is 01:24:53 everybody in england won he had propped them up with what would be the equivalent of 900 million dollars today right right propped up being investing essentially in england he bought english debt at that time like he bought bonds essentially in england now the market has shit the bed because everyone in england thought that they lost right so those bonds were worth what nothing yeah he gobbles them all up knowing they won yeah that battle did he prop them up thinking they would win down the road he probably knows so that they would win down the road? He propped them up so that they would. Okay. And when everybody thought that they lost, took advantage of that loss.
Starting point is 01:25:30 Right. What I'm saying is you'll see the same exact thing happen now. And that's how big money. You made 40% of your money? Yeah. 40%? $400 million in a fucking day? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:42 I'm just more bullish on this whole thing in general i'm not as skeptical i see your point i don't conspiratorial the idea that they're gonna let it all go i just don't think it's that big a deal if it does yeah in in terms of the people who are really wealthy right the people did you go through this did you go through these stages and it's like a general question did you go through at first did you have anger that was either race related or xenophobic towards china or chinese people did that kick in initially for either of you like what i didn't i got this just started for you no no it was like a couple days no i thought uh no i just thought it'd be a fun time to actually make jokes and now everybody won't be so protective because their xenophobia exists right yeah right so it's just a fun time to take advantage of a situation
Starting point is 01:26:40 like you really gonna defend asian jokes at this point in time? Like, we've been joking on this podcast. Like, if Shane Gillis said that shit a month later, nobody would have given a flying fuck. They'd be like, yeah, neuters. That's how they say it. Why don't they stop putting that in the neuters? He'd be back on Saturday Night Live as soon as the show gets canceled. The show would have gotten canceled before he did. Nancy's behind me.
Starting point is 01:27:04 She's going in the freezer. What are you getting, Nance? Going to make chicken soup and send it up to her neighbor. And then do you also go through phases where you're like, oh, this is all going to be okay. We're all going to come out of it. And then also apocalyptic feelings where you're like, nah, this is the end of it. Or do you feel like you've grown out of this like i don't ever get apocalyptic ever um because i think people care too much about security for things to get apocalyptic and they can be secured like i think people will hand over
Starting point is 01:27:40 their freedom for security in a heartbeat like in a fucking heartbeat like what did it how much did it cost to get all americans to go inside what was the cost of your zero dollars 1200 the second they said we'll give you 1200 everybody locked their fucking door and they started policing each other get the hell inside just like what happened in canada two thousand canadian dollars stay inside yeah so people like if you have these people like you're talking about right people actually struggling living check to check if you promise them hey if you just put this chip in your arm that proves you've been vaccinated you can be back to work monday you don't think they're gonna be back to work monday at target or walmart yeah in a fucking heartbeat, so where are the people that want to stand up against this?
Starting point is 01:28:26 How are those people going to do that? That's the thing, man. If you can get enough people living check to check, if you can get enough people living check to check, they will do whatever keeps them alive. I also think if we're scared, we stand up to some shit later. In hindsight, we'll stand up to it. The Patriot Act, after 9-11, we passed it with no problem,
Starting point is 01:28:45 and then we stood up to it years later. Ah, you know what? That's pretty fucked up, actually. Yeah, because you need luxury to stand up for shit. Yeah, yeah, that's a first world problem. You need a certain amount of luxury to rebel effectively. Privacy is a luxury. Son, all these women going to the Women's March,
Starting point is 01:29:00 you need to be able to take off work. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? All these women went to Women's March. do they have kids they're not looking after their kids that day like you need to be able to take some time off you need to have some income coming in yeah here you you got to go inside otherwise you don't get your rent paid no it's good i already got my rent covered man i'm good thank you yeah But it's so many people are not going to be able to stand up to that. That's the thing you get. I would still be in the city and I'm not. I'd still be going into the studio.
Starting point is 01:29:33 I'd be wearing a mask and gloves if my wife didn't have her immune system compromised. So that's it. So it's like other people can bring you into that situation, too, where it's it's like oh your wife is sick so if you go out that's gonna fuck your wife up it's amazing how connections can like weaken your stance on liberty yeah yeah that's a great point and it's weird because it's not personal it's who you're connected to i'm i got asthma i can be fucked up by this thing but i'm like no who cares if my if my fiance had it i'd be like yo i don't i don't can we guys skype in but if it's but I'm like, nah, who cares? If my fiance had it, I'd be like, yo, can we Skype in? But if it's me, I'm like, I don't give a fuck.
Starting point is 01:30:10 Who cares? It's me. Have you been going to the studio every day? Say again? Yeah. Has Akash been coming in every day? No, I have not. I come twice a week for the podcast. Yeah, Akash here twice a week and then we're here six days a week. Did you ride the bike there or something or how'd you get there? Yeah, dude, I got my motorcycle, bro.
Starting point is 01:30:27 That's nice. It's not really a motorcycle. It's a motorized bicycle. It's a bicycle with an electric motor, but I call it my motorcycle, dude. Yeah, the way you said it, and you sit and cross-legged. That's how I do, bro. Indian style. Indian style.
Starting point is 01:30:41 Did you see Tracy Morgan on the Today Show today? Wildin'. Yo, he's the best, dude. So that's another thing I think happens because of this People become less sensitive Like you can't be sensitive When everyone's struggling Now is not a time for sensitivity And all these fucking
Starting point is 01:30:57 All these people who like made their money Doing jobs that aren't really real You know what I mean? Example? Like vegan cupcake store employees. Do you know what I mean? That only exists in times of extreme luxury when you can have a specific niche diet store open
Starting point is 01:31:19 that just sells cupcakes. So veganism is not recession-proof, you're saying? Yo, veganism is not recession-proof. you're saying? Yo, veganism is not recession-proof. Or it might be the only thing you could eat. Like, if we got to go to the farm and you just got to plant carrots and eat them, that's your life, bro. You're vegan. Whether you like it or not, you're vegan.
Starting point is 01:31:35 Like, you go to India, they're vegetarian. You tell me this all the time. They're forced to be vegan. No, but it's true. Akash has told me this all the time. He's like, it's not like people in India are vegetarian because they want to be. It is in the religion, but also, I
Starting point is 01:31:49 remember the first time I went there, we had chicken. That was a big fucking deal. Chicken! Chicken! We go into the market, they slit its throat, we made it, it was a whole thing. You can't just buy this at the store like that. That could happen. That's a whole day.
Starting point is 01:32:08 Going out and getting your – that's like old school medieval shit. You got to go to the market to buy a chicken. Yeah. So we'll see what happens, man. We'll see what happens. I think honestly once we have a vaccine, everybody gets back to normal. But I think it's going to be tough to get back to normal without the vaccine. I mean like I moved my special taping to November.
Starting point is 01:32:26 I think we announced it today, matter of fact. So it's like, I'm hoping by November we can do that. But I'm also hoping by the fall I can get some reps in. Last thing I want to do is go six months without performing and then tape a special. Yeah. You know, so it's like. I'm more bullish. I think once we have a treatment, we don't need a vaccine.
Starting point is 01:32:48 Once you have a treatment that's effective enough. All right, we're out. We're good. That's a good point. Once you know that your life isn't on the line. Yeah. Either vaccine or treatment, you're ready to go. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:59 I talked to Jimmy Big Balls today from Gotham. He did the hydroxychloroquine or he did chloroquine. Did that help him? Saved his life, he said. Who is this? Jimmy Big Balls today from Gotham. He did the hydroxychloroquine, or he did chloroquine. Did it help him? Saved his life, he said. Who is this? Jimmy Big Balls. Remember the security guy from Gotham? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:12 The guy used to be married to Laminelli? Yeah. He thought he was going to die, man. He was on death's doorstep at the hospital, and then they put chloroquine in him. Bang. Two days later, I'm up. I'm good again. He's got oxygen hooked up to him but he did our
Starting point is 01:33:25 show this morning and he's feeling and he's preaching by it really yeah and if this is effective we're back yeah and think of everybody wants to hate it because the president vouched for it because the president goes this is a good thing and everybody's like nah because they hate the president more than they want to find a cure. It's an interesting dynamic. And I'll watch a little bit of his talks. And you're like, oh, he's aware of some high level conspiracy shit. Or he's just so dumb that he's pretending he is.
Starting point is 01:33:57 I tend to believe the latter. But I do think if this hydro was a chloroquine or whatever. Yeah. If that helps. Doug, we are. This is why I'm bullish on it. We are starved more so for live content than anything. Because what's the one thing we haven't had in the quarantine? Above all, human interaction.
Starting point is 01:34:14 You said it. I miss giving people five. I miss interacting with people. So if there's entertainment that is live, I want to see that. Beyond a fucking TV show or web series or like, I've been doing that this whole time. I'm done with that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:28 That's the thing we're always competing with before is movies. I hope you're right, dog. I trust me. I want you to be right more than anything. Just my gut. It's such a positive thing. He's saying that you feel it and you feel like it's right.
Starting point is 01:34:42 Like people are going to be jonesing and then live stand-up should have i mean we were booming stand-up was booming yeah it's gonna if what he says is right it's gonna hit so much bigger that it's gonna have this cult thing attached to this mainstream popularity thing which is gonna make it. You know what they should do? They should just do the temperature check. Comedy show? Do a temperature check or do a UV ray, whatever that shit. I don't even
Starting point is 01:35:14 know. They've got these thermal imaging things that they put in certain cities in China. They check people before you go to the grocery store or any kind of public event. Just do that. That will make people feel safe at least. They'll do something like you just need people to feel like they're entering a secure environment you know they want to be there bad but you need to present them with some sort of security i don't know if i said this on the podcast it's crazy
Starting point is 01:35:36 india was so far ahead of this in early march my sister-in-law and brother-in-law went there yeah and when they got off the plane from america they checked every single person's temperature you know how much safer you felt about everything in the flight you just took for 20 hours? If you're like, oh, everybody, nobody got a temperature, even if it's possible to spread it mentally. You're like, oh, OK, security should be good. I'm telling you, we want that security, man. We don't give a fuck about freedom.
Starting point is 01:35:59 That's survival, dog. We put that above everything. But that's the thing. Like when you live in America and you grow up in a time of prosperity, you attach yourself to this idea of freedom. You see TV shows and movies. All we care about is rebellion and freedom, all that shit. And the second push comes to shove,
Starting point is 01:36:14 the second we got a little pandemic out there, immediately we are so fucking ready to hand over that freedom, man. Yeah, 100%. Protect me. This is crazy, man. Protect me. Big government, protect me me i thought they were going to shut down the bridges and the tunnels a couple weeks ago because when we left i was like i wonder
Starting point is 01:36:31 if i'll get home i reached out to a cop friend of mine i'm like you guys shutting down the bridge he's like i don't think it'll come to that but he's like i don't know yeah any any day you know the new form of being offended if you go out is someone comes into your space that's the most offensive thing that like that's what you want to fight over now yeah it's like if someone gets too close to me and i'll just turn and give them a look like why is your shopping cart that close to me don't get that close it's amazing how this this thing divided a world that was already so divided. It was divided on class and on race. And now it's divided in terms of physical space. You know how tight that's going to make people how increased everything is going to be like race relations and shit with space. Because even if it's not
Starting point is 01:37:22 racist, it's going to be right. If you say to someone, and they're a person of color, yeah, stand back. Don't get that close to me. They're going to think it's a race thing. See, I do understand what you're saying, but I also think that now there's something bigger than race that everybody can get on the same page with. Also, white people never have to worry about black people
Starting point is 01:37:41 not respecting germs. They can be looking at you like, get the fuck away from me, white boy. And you're like, yeah, I'm not racist. They just don't like germs. But like, you know how like. They won't pick up after their own dogs because they think it's dirty. When I lived in Harlem, they're like, I'm not touching that shit. You want to put a bag on your hand.
Starting point is 01:37:59 Like a bag don't protect my hands. There's a. Yeah. You know, you know how uh there's certain things that like supersede your race right like objectifying a woman right like there's a girl with a fat ass who walks down the street and like you look at the ass and then there's like a puerto rican guy across the street he looks at the ass and then you guys can kind of like connect over the ass bonded right you had this bonding moment it was bigger than your racial division your class
Starting point is 01:38:25 division all these things right you just the pandemic's a new latina ass that's the new latin ass bro it is like you see somebody sneeze and then you can look at a black dude and black dude looks at you and you guys just go yo what the that was crazy right like that right there you know and then you can't dap him up, but at least there's this thing you connect with. And that's why I think comedy is going to be amazing after this because not only can you not be offended by the little shit anymore, like I think the woke stuff is done, but the entire world feels the same way about the same thing. And it's very rare in history that you get universal connectivity. So when you make a joke about Corona, there's going to be a lot of hack shit,
Starting point is 01:39:10 but a good bit about Corona is going to tap into feelings that everybody in the audience is going to have. Nobody will have a different feeling about Corona. So it's going to be a really cool time for comedy the first maybe six months that we get out there before everything becomes hack.
Starting point is 01:39:27 This is a thing that also like Big J taught me years ago where he was like a lot of people think you can't have one guy do crowd work that another guy do crowd work. He's like crowd work should always be different based on who's doing it because it brings your own unique perspective into it. So it's like, even if we're all talking about Corona, the first six months, which a lot of people are going to do, my takes going to be different than your take my take right now is like, my wife only had three days worth of clothes. So my wife is wearing her mom's clothes. And
Starting point is 01:39:58 I'm like, damn, you look fucking hot in your mom's clothes. Fuck her in her mom's clothes.'m trying to fuck her in her mom's clothes she's wearing her mom's pajamas and nighties and shit and it's old lady but it's like everyone's perspective is going to be different there is going to be like a lot of dude you know what that is hey i'm trying to fuck with my mask on you know that type of shit that's all that stepmom porn dude that's what that is that's thatmom form, working it into your psyche. Yeah, but my mother-in-law's not, like, attractive like that. But the summer clothes just fit my wife better than my wife's clothes. It's mother-in-law, stepmom.
Starting point is 01:40:34 It's all that shit that you've been watching on those websites, and it finally worked itself into your system, inception-wise. And now you're dressing your wife up like Nancy and you want to smash in your shed. I'm doing her hair with a flow be all short and spiky and shit. You got to ask Bob what she likes. Where, where your dead grandma's earrings, where the earrings and take your teeth out.
Starting point is 01:41:00 Did you see Louie's closing joke on his special? No, I haven't watched it. I haven't watched it. Good. Worth watching? Andrew, downright inspirational. Oh, good.
Starting point is 01:41:10 Just, like, I watched it, and it was on a day when everything was shitty, and you watch Louie, and you're like, oh, first of all, this guy clawed back. Yeah. I'm not going to say from nothing, but clawed back. Yeah. You have to imagine what it's like to fucking walk down the street and also be like that. Louie's an ugly fucking dude. So he's got to live with that. But it's also like people spitting on people calling them or rape.
Starting point is 01:41:35 So that's not to be able to go back and do stand up. And I'll have a thing where I go up and people are happy to see me. So you've already got that in your corner, but you got to go up. People fucking hate you. Not his fan base, but I mean, like when he would drop into the cellar and shit like that, people are hating you. You still fucking swinging. And then he comes back and I'm telling you, it's a real special. And it's not like it's not a huge arena thing.
Starting point is 01:42:00 It's not a big fucking deal, but it's a real special with an hour that he fucking, you could tell he banged it out, man. And there's a lot of craft in there. And it really puts him back in the top five, at least. It's really good. I'm excited. Maybe it's the best thing for him, because I thought putting out a special
Starting point is 01:42:20 every year, you're kind of stretching yourself thin. Now he's got about three years to work on this special. I mean, he really got to build up some bits what he's always needed yeah he does recycle a bit that's like 10 years old if you watch the pilot of louis he's got a bit that's very similar but he does a little bait and switch on it yeah yeah but it's uh and he talked about this stuff as much as he needed to he didn't go too far into it yeah he didn't have to do a one-man show like jacking off in front of improv chicks at the aspen comedy fest yeah but it's like it it was so it was so inspirational and then we watched louis the next night because we missed new york i haven't been in new york for like almost a month
Starting point is 01:43:02 it's the longest i've been away yeah Yeah, man. Nah, he's great, man. He's really great. We got to see him at the Patrice O'Neill benefit and he fucking killed that. Yeah, you're not missing anything in New York either. The only thing more boring than Louis TV show is New York right now. Yeah, New York is pretty fucking boring, dude. Nobody's here. Everybody's moved
Starting point is 01:43:19 out. I'm gonna go to the CVS today to get my androgel, my testosterone testosterone it's been about a week and now we got to drive it i can't drive my car because if you have out-of-state plates they pull you over immediately really yeah well anyway i'm gonna i'm gonna wish you good luck on that man i'm glad you were able to call in you stay safe you stay healthy okay brother make sure you go check out erin berg let them know when they can see you, dog. Oh, my brand new album comes out
Starting point is 01:43:48 April 23rd. It's available for pre-sale right now. It's called American Etiquette. It was recorded at the New York Comedy Festival. Basically an audio book of my second book, American Etiquette, Failing Up with Lena Fox News Nation. You lucky dog put it out. It's on iTunes. Get it on
Starting point is 01:44:04 pre-sale. Comes out April 23rd. Check me out on 25Sets or my Patreon show, Gum Fridays every Friday or In Hot Water on Compound Media, Monday to Thursday. My man. Be good, brother. Stay good. Love you guys. Missed you both, man. Okay, guys.
Starting point is 01:44:21 Thank you very much for tuning in to another episode of Flagrant 2 um we will see you guys patreon on friday we'll be back asshole army patreon.com slash flagrant 2 come on in come fuck with us we got some cool shit planned for friday and by that i mean i'm not sure we haven't planned it yet but we will have some cool shit planned by Friday. And, yeah, Akash, anything to tell the people? Nah, man, we're good. Just keep supporting. Yeah, man, thank you again for your support.
Starting point is 01:44:51 I'm glad you're liking the episodes we've been putting out, all the content we've been putting out. We felt it was very important to step it up during this time when you guys, you know, everybody got to play into their responsibility, you know. And sometimes the best thing you could do is lean into what you do. So that's what we've been trying to do and just keep on creating, keep you guys thoroughly entertained and distracted during this shitty ass time. And again, I'll say it again. I've moved the special taping from April this weekend, April, what is it, 12th and 11th and 12th to November.
Starting point is 01:45:22 And it's November, I believe, 13th and 14th. We'll post something about it. But all the tickets you guys have are still good for those dates. I hope you guys can come back out those dates. I hope we're back doing shows by that time. Obviously, if you can't make it for whatever reason, Ticketmaster will give you a refund. You just let us know. And whatever works best, man, we just want to help accommodate.
Starting point is 01:45:41 Thank you guys so much for your support. We will see you Friday. Love y'all. Clips channel. Oh, also, very important. And maybe we'll put this in another part of the episode as well, but we got this Clips channel, man. So we want you to subscribe on YouTube. Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe.
Starting point is 01:45:56 It's a flagrant to Clips. So basically we take the highlights of the episode and we post, you know, maybe five or six clips every single day. of the episode and we post you know maybe five or six clips uh every single day we do that for the nightly episodes of corona chronicles that uh i've been doing and uh so just tons of content there go subscribe even if you don't watch a single one of them just subscribe it really helps us when you subscribe because youtube goes oh man people really like this content and they put it out there in the world and we want these videos to be the billboard for this show. So we want people to be randomly scrolling on YouTube, and all of a sudden they pop into a video they really like.
Starting point is 01:46:32 Akash is ranting about some shit. Alex is talking about some abortions or whatever the fuck that he does with his free time. I might be yelling about this, that, the other. Mark is going to be doing some stuff completely, what is it? Completely frank about whatever. It doesn't matter. The point is you guys go support that. That grows.
Starting point is 01:46:53 We do some amazing things, man. We also have another one for the Brilliant Idiots channel as well, the Brilliant Idiots clips. You can go subscribe to that. So, yeah, man, we're just expanding during this time, putting out a lot of content, expanding. You can help us do that if you go subscribe. So we really appreciate that.
Starting point is 01:47:06 We love you. And as always, keep it tight. Bless.

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