Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Couples Have Reached Their Quarantine Limit

Episode Date: March 23, 2020

What's up friends and enemies. It's Schulzy here with AlexxMedia to discuss reaching our quarantine limit at home. We got music! INDULGE...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up everybody and welcome to another episode of this unnamed show. Today's episode is going to be coming from my man Kevin Marcus Jr. That's the second. The second gave us the name of our podcast today. You know we switch the podcast name or the show name, whatever this is, we switch it every single day. Today's episode is going to be Red Table Cough. I thought that was good. I like that. Red Table Cough, so so far that might be my favorite name kung flu hustle was good too but red red table cough we're gonna do it um
Starting point is 00:00:32 okay as you could tell we got a little music going but the music's trying to like it's trying it's trying to play um hard to get with us right now the The music's its own vibe. Okay, there we go. So just vibe with us, man. Turn up them speakers. Turn your headphones up. Turn your AirPods up. Whatever it is, vibe with us. We got this Corona.
Starting point is 00:00:53 If you got the Rona in your system, if not, maybe you got some 1942 in your system. That's what we're sipping on, that Don Julio. Shout out to Don. You think he died in 1942
Starting point is 00:01:03 or he was born in 1942? I think he was born. You think he was born? Yeah. That screen just went out. Just want to let you think he died 1942 he was born in 1942 i think he was born you think he was born that screen just went out just want to let you know screen just went dark on us mark so let me tell you this guys let's start it up we got we got some conversation to make let's get right into it the entire world is about to go into quarantine. Okay? So you better get your lo-fi hip-hop beats going because you're going to be doing a lot of this at the crib. A lot of countries just gave warnings. England, Colombia, South America, all out there saying three weeks in the crib.
Starting point is 00:01:42 They said do not leave the crib. South Africa. South Africa. South Africa is what I meant, not South America, but Columbia's in South America. Maybe that's why it made it happen. I'm not going to lie. The beat makes you kind of talk on beat. This might really affect the flow of the podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:59 I might just start delivering bars. Son, hit them with it. Knees weak, arms is heavy. The Rona's in my system already. Threw up my spaghetti. Psych, my girl can't cook. We've been ordering in. $500 at Whole Foods and you're still ordering out?
Starting point is 00:02:19 All that arugula is out the window, bro. We're not playing games and we back. So here's the thing, man. England out there giving real strict rules, man. You heard these rules out? No, I haven't. They said real strict rules. You guys at home heard the rules?
Starting point is 00:02:35 They say you better not go outside. You know, you're only limited to one outside exercise per day. How often do you think we exercise, England? Have you seen your population? Do they look like they're out there training for marathons during Corona? English people aren't in good shape. We haven't seen English abs.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Anthony Joshua, a bum boxer, is one of the most famous people in all of England simply because he looks good without a shirt on. English people keep their shirts on because they know what time it is. These are bar people, pub people. They're not out there at the gym type people. They're not out there doing cross fit.
Starting point is 00:03:12 They got a cross on their flag. They still won't do it. It's not part of the culture. They said you can't hang out with more than two people or three people, Al. Did you hear that? I think it was three. Three people. That's what people, Al? Did you hear that? I think it was three. Three people. That's what people are saying.
Starting point is 00:03:26 Who are you punishing? My girl don't let me have more than two friends. You think my girl let me go out and have bachelor parties every week? Is that what you stop in England? You stopping bachelor parties every weekend? What happened to our music, Al? It's coming. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:03:43 It just goes in and goes out i thought it was adjusting to my energy man this is dj all i'm trying to say is these these rules and restrictions are absolute horseshit you can't say you gotta stay inside no matter what you gotta stay inside no matter what and then give me 10 reasons why i could go outside oh you can go outside and get groceries once a day i'm'm not an Italian grandmother. I don't need to get fresh mozzarella and fresh tomatoes from the market every morning. I order my shit delivery. Who are these people that are still lining up at the grocery store?
Starting point is 00:04:16 It's available delivery everywhere, right? No? Everywhere, yeah. That's all I'm saying. Guys, you don't even got to go to the grocery store. Why are we putting these people at risk at the grocery store let's just do all delivery everything if you could get the restaurant to deliver to your crib why can't you get the grocery store to deliver to your crib this is basic information no
Starting point is 00:04:39 damn they should start that all the people out of work right now They could be delivering from the grocery store Everybody their new job should be delivering from the grocery store Every single person New job delivering from the grocery store Stay at home With your girl Go crazy like me and mine are We reached our limit this morning
Starting point is 00:04:58 We reached our official limit Talk about it We need to put these beats in our apartment because this is way more soothing than what we were dealing with this morning. She put on Queen. I couldn't do it no more. I couldn't do it no more, bro. I'm listening to gay ass.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Talk about it. What happened? I'm listening to a gay ass singer from Queen sing about fat bottom girls. Shut up. You fraud. You don't want no fat bottom girls, bro. You want the fat dick dudes. Swingin' that dang-a-lang.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Dang-a-lang. Dang-a-lang. Dang-a-lang. I'll bring out that dang-a-lang. Dang-a-lang. Dang-a-lang. Bro, we really need to get some, a little, what's it called, iPad
Starting point is 00:05:42 where we could do the sound effects. Oh, the sound effects? We're going to take it. Swinging a dick. Swinging a dick. Talking about fat bottom girls. Get out of here, bro. What you do with a fat bottom girl?
Starting point is 00:05:53 Besides learn how to put on some fucking eye shadow. That's the only thing you steal from them. Excuse me, fat bottom girl. How do you suck dick? I want to get better at it. This guy over here. So she put on Queen. dick i want to get better at it this guy over here so she put on queen i'm trying to get out the house i go babe this is how i know that we reach our limit i go babe babe where are my converse and this is what she says to me she goes i told you last night where they were.
Starting point is 00:06:27 That's eight words. That's eight words. In the closet is three words. You added five extra fucking words so I can feel like an idiot. That's where we are in my relationship, bro. You know we got a good month to go. At least. Bro, they just said it's going to be.
Starting point is 00:06:48 At least. Bro, we're in there until July. In there until July. I got to deal with this. And my girl's smart because her apartment has the hotel windows. You know, the ones that don't open up all the way so I can't toss her ass out. I can just throw her ass against the window and then she hits it
Starting point is 00:07:06 and it falls back down. That's the best I could do. Lovingly. Lovingly, of course. Hey, babe. How strong are those windows? I gotta act like I gotta act like Tiger King, bro.
Starting point is 00:07:19 Gotta answer for everything. Have y'all you seen Tiger King yet? Nah. Well, I saw episode one and two and it's like i got a theory out there but i'm safe for the podcast because it's flagrant everybody at home i saw you guys in the comments talking about you saw tiger king yeah did i tell you did i tell you i got to take did i tell you mark coming in here to get this get this camp mark oh you didn't think i knew that camera was there oh you didn't think
Starting point is 00:07:50 it's millie back to this one millie over millie back oh you saw me hey bye instagram live this will be up on YouTube. Come kick it with us later. YouTube.com slash flagrant2. Al, were you keeping up with me with all my camera changes? I missed a couple because you were just too smooth on me. Son, you know that game that people are doing where they go like this and they go like that? You have to look the opposite way? No.
Starting point is 00:08:19 It was a person versus another person. You point in a direction. The camera, not the camera. The other person has to not put their head the direction you point oh so it was a game pure plan right okay but do you think you could do that with this camera oh easy but i only got you know what i realized there was only two hey hey cut that hey cut that that's just quarantine logic bro don't worry about it hey don't worry about don't mind yourself we're having a little cabin fever over here guys bro it's son no it's getting bad dude and i'm being disrespectful
Starting point is 00:08:49 doing things i never used to do bro like like what i was at we got a delivery today and uh there's a knock on the door and i said the delivery boy is here come on bro i don't get it. You can't be calling no grown-ass man boy. It don't matter how short the Mexicans are. Okay. A little African-American. What?
Starting point is 00:09:13 You know what I mean? What? Is he African? No, he was Mexican. Oh. But you can't call him boy, bro. Especially going out in this weather. It's not that bad, though.
Starting point is 00:09:21 It's not that bad. No, no. You can't call a black person boy. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. If it was a black delivery guy, that would have been bad. That'd be fucked up. Mexican is like, if he was young in the face, that's a compliment. If he's young in the face, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Maybe that's it. But still, delivery boy, bus boy, bro. It's like, I biked here in the fucking rain, Al. It was one of the most miserable experiences I've ever had in my entire life. Son, I saw the bike sitting outside the studio. I started laughing. It was so bad, Al. I know he was so good.
Starting point is 00:09:47 Can I tell you? Can I tell you? Yeah, what's up? Here's the thing. Mark offered to give me a ride. You didn't know about this. Mark offered to give me a ride to the studio in a car. It was raining outside.
Starting point is 00:09:56 But my girl and I had just gotten in a fight over where my sneakers were. Okay? So I'm trying to make a point. I can't go. I'm out of here. And then Mark's like, I can pick you up in 45 minutes. Now I just got to make a point. I can't go. I'm out of here. And then Mark's like, I can pick you up in 45 minutes. Now, I just got to sit on a fucking couch like an idiot for 45 minutes. My girl coming in like, well, if you had all this time, you could probably look for your converse.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Why are you asking me? You're bothering me. Okay? So, I was like, I'm going to make a point. I take the bike. I get the fuck out of there. Motorcycle. Motorcycle.
Starting point is 00:10:24 Stop touching your face. Stop touching your face. Stop touching your face. Anyway, so boom. I really sincerely hope. Yeah, I was butt ass naked when he walked in. I look like a Boston Terrier. I just had a sweatshirt on. Mark came in.
Starting point is 00:10:41 He goes, why are you dressed like Ariana Grande? So we'll send a picture. we'll put a picture somewhere so i basically was like fucking them out i get onto the bike i hit the rain my motor motorcycle or motorized scooter or motorized bicycle whatever you want to call it my motorcycle doesn't have any of those fenders that block the rain so the tire is just picking up water and throwing it into my face the entire half hour ride here yo i told you son i told you i had i hit one puddle and my face was covered in corona that's right two days ago i walked in here disheveled i literally thought there was something wrong bro i thought something bad happened i thought you lost a relative like the way you looked at me and al just goes man i got it i go what happened he goes i hit
Starting point is 00:11:28 a puddle the whole puddle hit me the face went on my mouth i think i got the rona yup the whole rest of the ride i didn't move a muscle in my face even that tight i was just like i wish they could i was just uh yeah hey man you survived nah it survived, bro. Nah, it's getting rough, though. You're still with us. It's getting rough at home. It's getting a little rough. It's getting a little cramp. What happened? What happened?
Starting point is 00:11:50 Al said he walked the stairs twice today. I live on the 37th floor. If you got to walk the stairs, if you go down and come back up, and you go, I'm not ready to go inside. I was like, I'm going to do this set alone. Get a little cramp. Son, son'm going to do this set alone. Get a little cramped. Son, son, go to the wide. This is literally how we got to fight at home now.
Starting point is 00:12:11 You know what, babe? I'm working out. Hi, yo. I ain't got no fucking room in the house to fight. How do people used to fight? Bro, how do these Nordic people do it? How do people that got to stay inside all year round, these people who, when it's winter, it's dark 24 hours a day.
Starting point is 00:12:37 How do these Nordic people do it? Maybe that's why they hate black people in Sweden, because they're so angry at dark in general. They're like, how dare you come into here during summer excuse me stop bringing dark coming in summer alexis alexis with two x's so i had a lot it's so weird i still have people asking me about sweden tell tell me what happened in the Sweden So they're like yo, how was it in prison? And I'm like a lot like it is right now. So you feel in prison?
Starting point is 00:13:11 Yes, uh, look back in Sweden. Uh, uh, well, yeah, I'm feeding uh What on the vegan? No, I got a vegan in the crib they don't even know Al got a vegan in the crib They don't even know, bruh Al eating straight vegetables She eating straight meat Bro, we really chilling out here, dog It's different It's different with the music
Starting point is 00:13:38 Yo, we trying to smoke? Yo, Mark trying to get high, bruh Mark hasn't showered since December. Hair sticky. What? So's his tummy. Get the blicky. All right.
Starting point is 00:13:57 All right, let's get back to it in all seriousness, man. And I mean this sincerely. I mean this 100% sincerely. I figured out what I'm going to do During this quarantine I want to see if everybody's down to do this as well How about we get rid of our Fucking text neck Are you familiar with what text neck is everybody at home?
Starting point is 00:14:17 Alex Media So right now since we're always walking around texting Our posture has actually Shifted and our head has dropped forward oh and our shoulders roll in that's been my posture since junior high school and i was chubby and had some titties so your titties were drawing you down nah it's like i wore a big shirt and if you lean forward yeah it doesn't show the points so my posture's been stuck like that ever since all right well we're gonna fix your
Starting point is 00:14:47 shit yeah so everybody at home and seriously everybody at work so we're doing so much work on our laptops we're doing so much work curled over like you see these retards at their offices they have like the standing desk they're like i'm gonna burn calories and work on reports so i tried that for one day nah beat. Beat it. Not going to happen. Give me a comfy chair, okay? But there are ways to battle it. So I was talking to the owner of La Playa Pilates in Montecito, California. And yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Yeah. Maybe he knows my girl You know what I'm saying So We're supportive of it So Lincoln the bio You know what I mean
Starting point is 00:15:32 Why you trying to give me More problems at home I know I know My bad My bad That's great Remember when Martin Was trying to give me
Starting point is 00:15:40 Problems at home Son We go on the fucking Instagram live For Corona's Got Talent Yo pull up a joint So we You're trying to give me problems at home? Son. We go on the fucking Instagram live for Corona's Got Talent. Yo, pull up a joint. So we call hot girls. We call hot girls.
Starting point is 00:15:51 Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. See joint? Yo, yo, yo. Dude, if they're super hot, you get a lot of yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Oh, yeah. Okay? The hotter they are, the more yo, yo, yo. The more yo, yo, yo, yo.
Starting point is 00:16:02 So my girl's chilling here, and we're back there doing a Corona's Got Talent, and then Mark just goes, pull up a joint. This fucking idiot. It's wrong to say because we're quarantined, Mark. I looked towards him. I know, bro. I know, bro. And then outside, I told him, like, Mark, you know how you fucked up, right?
Starting point is 00:16:22 He's like, how? And then he did his hand thing. He did his stupid. You know that little cat meme that's going around where the cat got his paws up like that or his fingers like that? Little Dr. Seuss ass motherfucker. That's Mark. So every time he knows he's lying, he's an idiot. What did I do?
Starting point is 00:16:38 You know what you did, motherfucker. You're going to learn one of these days. Or we're going to Stein him. Oh, I like that. That slaps right there. A little callback. You know what I mean? he gonna learn one of these days or we're gonna Stein them you get it if not no oh oh oh you drop some keys on them hmm some keys are going oh yeah that's me playing live oh hey but for real here's a couple exercises we could all do i mean this 100 sincerely what i'm doing during this quarantine i am getting rid of texnet because my posture has gotten horribly bad and here's number one thing we're gonna do okay while sitting down right we're just assuming our regular sitting posture i want you to put your hand like this finger like that
Starting point is 00:17:24 come on your lips and nose come on you can't tell them something to touch their face now we're quarantined you can touch your face in quarantine and also this works out really well because when you're telling your girl to shut the fuck up you can also protect your neck and fix your neck right so right when you're like shut the fuck up then you work on this so this is how you do it right you go like this make sure it touches your lips and your nose that's difficult for me because my nose comes out so far there's actually space between my lips so do i have a witch chin and a big nose anyway ready so look you go like this
Starting point is 00:18:00 right we're on the close-up yeah go on the side so you can see the little gap. Do I have a piece of shit? Fuck you, Al. So then you go like this. Go on the side. Keep your finger there. Move your head back. Now don't double chin it. Just move your head straight back. And it's a reminder of how far back your neck goes.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Don't double chin. This is double chin. Just move your neck back like that. And it's a reminder of how far you lean forward so now you're at a more neutral position other thing you could do is what we're gonna do we're gonna bring our arms straight up without lifting our shoulders okay so the arms come straight up mark both arms i know you like to do one of them but, Mark, both arms go up, right? The second your shoulders start to lift, that's where you stop. Okay? So you go like this. You see my shoulders start to lift. I'm trying to bring them down. That's too far. And you do that five times a day. This thing with your nose, every time you sit down, just remind yourself to do that. Or if you're yelling at your
Starting point is 00:19:01 girlfriend, you're telling her to be quiet, make sure you do that as well. And then there's one more I got to do standing on a wall. Can you get me on the wall? Switch to the wide out. Honestly, we're going to come out of this with the best fucking posture. It's not even a game. Everybody, beautiful, elegant, supermodels, walking down the street. Those of us that just revive. Okay. You know who has super bad posture? Old people. They're dying anyway. Let's do this oh my god okay last one put your back on the wall okay back is to the wall back is to the wall but your feet put them eight inches away from the wall al do you know how much eight inches is i know nine okay about eight inches from the wall. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Put your butt and back on the wall and put your head on the wall as well. Right? This is your neutral spine. What I just did right there, that is your neutral spine. That's how your back should be when everything's even. You do that five times a day. Just anytime you're going to the bathroom, your girl's in there, you're waiting, you walk by another room, do that five to 10 times a day. And it will remind you where your back is supposed to be when all the posture and everything is good. How long do you hold it? 10 seconds. Okay. I just
Starting point is 00:20:18 made that up, but I'll have the right amount tomorrow, but hold it for 10 seconds. It's not that hard to hold, to be honest with you. It's really not that hard, but it's just a reminder of where you should be. Okay? We'll add another one tomorrow, but those are three things that I'm going to start doing so I can work on my posture
Starting point is 00:20:33 during this quarantine, man. I can't come out of this quarantine looking crazy. Imagine how much time we're spending on our phone. Imagine how much time we're spending on our laptops, looking at Netflix,
Starting point is 00:20:44 looking at Hulu, looking at YouTube, all this kind of stuff. We're going to look like Neanderthals coming out of this. We're going on our phone. Imagine how much time we're spending on our laptops looking at Netflix, looking at Hulu, looking at YouTube, all this kind of stuff. We're going to look like Neanderthals coming out of this. We're going to devolve. It's going to be
Starting point is 00:20:51 going backwards, the evolutionary chart, so we can't let that happen. We're going to come out looking like elves. Like that. You and this elf shit, son.
Starting point is 00:20:59 You still on it? Can I be honest with you? You finished the movie already. Can I be honest with you? What's up? My posture is going to be that of a centaur. Oh, they got good posture. They have incredible posture. And they got a
Starting point is 00:21:11 wide back. Wide back. With the fatty. With the fatty. Move that hair out the way. Mmm. Like a centaur. What? What? Nothing rhymes with centaur. Guitar? Centaur? Guitar? a centaur what what nothing rhymes with centaur guitar centaur yo get hard go joe mark chill out bro chill out put your pants back on mark why you took your pants listen uh uh i really like this
Starting point is 00:21:43 music vibe i'm not gonna lie i wonder if y'all hate this shit You can't get distracted Cause you get distracted Nah it is But it's just nice It just creates a little Vibe action with it That's all I'm saying
Starting point is 00:21:52 I wanna get that neck better I wanna get everything Oh you wanna get that neck better That neck better We gonna work on that Cause I'm working on One new thing a day I'm trying to do
Starting point is 00:21:59 One new thing a day That was my new thing That I started today Working on my posture What about you Al What you started today I mean Unlike you I'm not trying to improve my neck game but uh today i tried it for the first time yesterday going upstairs so i live in a 37 floor i went up
Starting point is 00:22:17 the full flight of stairs and then today i did it twice it was difficult the second time was just to pretty much just get away from people. But yeah, I want to put together some furniture. Usually I hire TaskRabbit people to do that type of stuff, but I'm going to do it myself. What about a learn thing? Cook. Here's something. That cooking thing is because now you can switch meals.
Starting point is 00:22:43 So here's something that we're going to. I'm going to learn. Me and my shorty are going to do. We're going to learn how to make the drinks that we always get at the bar. But never have done really ourself. Like an old fashioned. You should learn how to make the picante from. Oh hells yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:57 That is the first drink. Soho House Miami. And I'll be honest with you. I'm not a big Soho House guy. Soho House everywhere. All of them. They got this. They got it.
Starting point is 00:23:02 Okay. So there's a drink called the picante. Right. It's basically like a spicy margarita, but it's bomb. We might have to get that. Yo, we might have to get that. That's actually my favorite drink. I'm going to learn that.
Starting point is 00:23:12 Yeah, you like that drink a lot. You like that drink a lot. We might have to get that. I'm trying to do a new thing every single day. So if you guys have recommendations of other things that we could try out, and I'm telling you it's little shit, but if I feel like I did a new little thing every single day that's why we did the corona's got talent yesterday i don't know if you guys were watching on ig live but we literally just did a
Starting point is 00:23:32 live talent show on my ig and we were gonna like make a fucking big sign for it and try to do a big promo release for it and all this kind of shit to like really build it up and i was just like fuck it let's just do it let's just do it see if it works out see if it's fun see if people get involved and then they did we had a great time and um i think we had like 15 000 people watching or something crazy like that that's what's up and i was crazy so i think every day i gotta do a new thing i gotta figure out what my new thing is gonna be for tomorrow i gotta think about it huh i gotta think about it yeah it's like what do i want to do it could be dude learn how I got to think about it. Huh? I got to think about it. Yeah, it's like, what do I want to do? It could be, dude,
Starting point is 00:24:06 learn how to fold a fitted sheet. It could be stupid shit that I've never done my entire life. You don't know how to fold a fitted sheet? Fitted sheet's different, right? So the fitted sheet is the one that crinkles at the end.
Starting point is 00:24:17 That one is hard to fold. There's a special way to fold it? That's what I'm saying. You didn't even know there's a special way to fold it. Some of you guys asking the same question at home. Dummies. Okay, you got me there. You know what I mean? I did not know there's a special way to fold even know there's a special way to fold. Some of you guys are asking the same question at home. Dummies.
Starting point is 00:24:25 Okay, you got me there. You know what I mean? I did not know there's a special way to fold. There's a special way to fold. How do you fold it? I'm going to learn that. That's going to be one of my things to learn. I didn't learn it yet, but I know.
Starting point is 00:24:35 I'm trying to fix your neck, bro. Next time I'll fix your mattress. I'll fix all these things. But I'm going to be on point with it when I'm done with this shit. I'm going to be on point with it. And you know what I'm going to start doing? I'm going to start paying attention with it when I'm done with this shit. I'm going to be on point with it. And you know what I'm going to start doing? I'm going to start paying attention to all the shit my girl does that she says. You're going to start paying attention to what you're doing.
Starting point is 00:24:52 To my girl in general. I'm going to pay attention to my girlfriend. No. I'm going to pay attention to all the stuff that she does that she says is really hard, but I'm never around, so I don't know how hard it is. You know what I mean? So now when she says it, could be like no i know exactly how difficult that task that you just did is i know exactly how much time it takes oh you're about to be a tyrant now i feel sorry for her right now no but it's good i gotta be there i gotta understand
Starting point is 00:25:15 i gotta appreciate yo maybe i could find out how long it takes her to like do all her feminist shit like makeup and like tweezing eyebrows like maybe I could really take this time to see how difficult it is to be a woman. That'd be important. Maybe I learn, you know, to have more empathy for what they got to go through. Or maybe it's less. Maybe go, nah, you guys are just lying about all that shit. I don't really take that long to wash your face. So are you going to like demonstrate it on yourself?
Starting point is 00:25:42 Say again? Are you, when you're learning, you're going to like demonstrate, like you're going to do it to yourself? You know what I'll do? You're going to stick it on yourself? Say again? When you're learning, are you going to do it to yourself? You know what I'll do? You're going to stick a tampon up the butt? No, I'm not going to touch that butt shit. But I will do this. I will commit to maybe one week of doing a face routine.
Starting point is 00:25:56 Because you know how girls are like... I've been on that. You've got to get on that. Well, I've been very fortunate that I've had good skin my entire life. Son, my skin is unblemished so you look you look very close to 40 nah you crazy bro all right you're crazy regardless of my age i don't really care about my age bro because i like looking how i am like i'm not one of these people that's afraid of how old i am nor am i afraid of like the crow's feet you know
Starting point is 00:26:23 what i mean like because i think it shows that you've laughed it shows that you lived yeah but you can naturally combat it with taking care of your skin i don't mind it you just said you want to learn how to do some facial cleansing situation but it's not to get rid of like my life yeah but that actually helps it like if you moisturize you'll have less wrinkles yeah but you're acting like i care about that like i don't care about that like those things i think give you character like when i see old people they got their faces all pulled back and shit i'm like ah come on man stop lying to surgery yeah it's just weird like i i think you got to embrace every stage of your life you know so like i think the people are like running from those things are the most miserable because they're constantly living in fear
Starting point is 00:27:05 It's like they're being chased by time And I don't ever want to feel like I'm running away from time. I want to feel like I'm kind of like walking alongside it Right cuz then you'll be that's a good good approach to it You know I'm saying cuz then you'll be appreciative of it be like oh this happened that happens except for balding I'm not fucking with balding oh yeah i ain't gonna go i'll take no no no see you be bullshit i'm not gonna ball fuck that you i've been on the pills son i took a pill 10 years ago before there was any clinical studies they're like it's gonna keep your hair gobbled it so they might think i'm just trying to preserve what guy gave me that's it i'm never gonna go under the knife for nothing.
Starting point is 00:27:46 But hey, if I can do it naturally. Who knows? Maybe we will. Why is plastic surgery so stigmatized? Because then you're going to look like the old people you just talked about. Let me make an argument. Let me completely. This is what I do all the time.
Starting point is 00:27:57 I'll be saying one shit and then I completely flip on it. Right? So check it. Right? No, I got the argument for you. This is why plastic surgery makes sense. Our bodies weren't designed to live this long. Okay?
Starting point is 00:28:08 Okay. They were designed to live 30, 40 years. Okay? Now we're living 100 years. So the actual body, think of ourselves like a Jordan. You can only wear a Jordan so much before the soul gets fucked up. Then you need to swap the soul. So maybe we need to soul swap some parts of our
Starting point is 00:28:25 bodies maybe we need a soul swap some skin maybe we need a soul swap you know that shit back here that girls it gets super long for some reason right yeah but if you keep the jordan in plastic away from air and preserve it yeah but that's not how you live a life dog like these people to buy the jordans and they put them in a fucking box and leave them there forever for what i wear my jordans and i'm gonna wear my skin i'm gonna live my life but maybe since we're living longer we have to do certain adjustments thank you to go along with good what's happening in our life and to maintain our bodies and skin for what's happening so on some level i kind of understand and I agree with the plastic surgery idea. Right. And I and I think it's actually keeping pace with how much longer we're living.
Starting point is 00:29:13 We're outliving our shells. So we have to maintain our shells in some way so we can both live life and have a nice shell to live it with. OK, so what about living life, but naturally trying to preserve it as you go on? I'm like, why am I fucking with this natural shit when we got the good stuff? So then it don't look fake and push back. You can just moisturize right now.
Starting point is 00:29:37 You want to study for the test. I'm like, I'll cheat. Because for me, the tests don't do nothing. I'll be honest with you. I'll be honest with you. Oh, and we're be honest with you. I'll be honest with you. Oh, and we're coming up on 30. Oh,
Starting point is 00:29:47 I'll be honest with you. Okay. We might give you a couple extra minutes. Cause we got music. I'll be honest with you. That, you know, these people who like,
Starting point is 00:29:55 don't go out in the sun at all, their entire lives. Imagine missing the most valuable thing in human existence. The sun, we are all particles of sun. We are all sunlight. What do we call the like sunbeams or whatever? We are we are all particles of sun we are all sunlight what do we call the like sunbeams or whatever we are the the product of sun like imagine missing out on the thing that you come from like what a fucking stupid idea i'm not saying just bake outside of
Starting point is 00:30:16 your you know your apartment or your house or your whatever it is or bake on the beach every single day i mean that's equally stupid but like you have to live life yes you have to smile you have to laugh like i know girls that they try to not laugh because they don't want to get wrinkles that's the most stupid thing in the world why miss out on joy so that you could look good like it's just i don't know super perplexing to me so we have to find some way to manage living life and the shell that we've been given not being able to live up to the standards of what we now live. How do we manage those two things? Maybe it's plastic surgery. Son, I flip-flopped, bro.
Starting point is 00:30:54 Son, just give it up to me, son. I live life. And I naturally preserve it. Just moisturize. That's it. You're black. It doesn't count. It doesn't count when you're black. It doesn't count.
Starting point is 00:31:06 It doesn't count when you're black. I don't want to hear black people give me advice on aging. Oh, yeah. Just moisturize. Yeah, moisturize. Just rub a little chicken wing on your fucking eyelids every once in a while. I took a year off of Mark's life since he started moisturizing. This kid looks like... He's not moisturizing, bro.
Starting point is 00:31:26 It's not moisturizing, bro It's not stupid Mark Word, Mark So you're gonna start capping right now Because you thanked me After you Ow You see that? Hear that?
Starting point is 00:31:35 He's been moisturizing more Nobody wants to hear black people Give advice about aging Whatever You don't want to hear it Whatever, man You know what it is? I'm trying to help you out
Starting point is 00:31:43 I've never understood before Like why Like black people get annoyed when white people say, we're not privileged. Now I get it. This is the privilege argument that you're giving to me right now. No, it's not. Yes, it is. You're privileged.
Starting point is 00:31:55 I'm going to expose us. Al, you're a 63-year-old man, right? And you look 25 years old. Son. It's not fair. We don't age slower. We just all moisturize. Since I was a child, my mom would put loads and loads of moisturizer on my face.
Starting point is 00:32:10 I don't know why she did it, but she just did. Was she trying to make you white? Nah. Maybe. But I would walk into school being a shiny little butterball. Right. But that's just how we grew up. And I'm telling you, that's the only difference. We don't age any slower than white people. It's just how we grew up and i'm telling that's the only
Starting point is 00:32:25 difference we don't age any slower than white people it's just that we moisturize i don't know if this is true i think that we're gonna have to leave it up to the people at home to comment on it hey oh we gotta end the freestyle okay ready what okay Okay, ready? Black people in lotion. Skin smooth like the ocean. I'm over here toasting. To east and west coasting. We going through the motions. Oh, Cole.
Starting point is 00:33:02 I was just assisting you because you was about to stumble. Oh, shit. Bro, you already knew that? I heard. I saw. I saw. Come on, bro. That's how amazing black people are. They can tell when white people are going to fuck up their raps before they happen. Come on, we got this, bro.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Dude, that's crazy. You got a Spidey sense for it? Hey, bro. Hey, listen. One new thing I'm also going to try. Freestyling. That was it. I'll never do that.
Starting point is 00:33:27 That was my new thing for the day is freestyle don't ever put this shit on beats again but for real man uh we're doing one new thing a day make sure you comment on the youtube if you got a new thing or just shoot us dms if you got a new thing that you think was dope easy to do in the crib something you never thought about i don't care if it's pilates yoga stretching make whipped cream you know you could make whipped cream yourself mark astonished me yesterday mark you made whipped cream yourself son were you not here when we were having dinner i don't know i was annoyed okay okay we'll get back to that but for real let's just figure out some things that we could all do man we could all assist each other in this shit and uh i think the music stays on the pod man
Starting point is 00:34:12 what you think out it's a vibe mark what you think music stays all right man we gave you a few extra minutes we appreciate y'all we love y'all uh tomorrow when we drop we're actually gonna drop the episode a little earlier and we're gonna drop it as an episode of flagrant to the podcast that I do at Akash saying and Alex media. So what I want you guys to do is if you're tuning in tomorrow with us, make sure you go see tiger King and watch all the tire King on Netflix right now is unbelievable. You'll love it. A lot of you guys have already started watching it or I've already seen it right now.
Starting point is 00:34:42 You know exactly what I'm talking about. We're going in-depth tomorrow. I think we got to go in-depth tomorrow. Tiger King recap, you know. Al, anything to say to the people? I'm good. I'm good, man. Well, let's end it how we always do.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Put the glass up. Peace, love, and yurr.

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