Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Couples Have Reached Their Quarantine Limit
Episode Date: March 23, 2020What's up friends and enemies. It's Schulzy here with AlexxMedia to discuss reaching our quarantine limit at home. We got music! INDULGE...
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What's up everybody and welcome to another episode of this unnamed show.
Today's episode is going to be coming from my man Kevin Marcus Jr.
That's the second. The second gave us the name of our podcast today.
You know we switch the podcast name or the show name, whatever this is, we switch it every single day.
Today's episode is going to be Red Table Cough.
I thought that was good. I like that.
Red Table Cough, so so far that might be my
favorite name kung flu hustle was good too but red red table cough we're gonna do it um
okay as you could tell we got a little music going but the music's trying to like it's trying
it's trying to play um hard to get with us right now the The music's its own vibe. Okay, there we go. So just vibe with us, man.
Turn up them speakers.
Turn your headphones up.
Turn your AirPods up.
Whatever it is,
vibe with us.
We got this Corona.
If you got the Rona in your system,
if not,
maybe you got some 1942
in your system.
That's what we're sipping on,
that Don Julio.
Shout out to Don.
You think he died in 1942
or he was born in 1942?
I think he was born. You think he was born? Yeah. That screen just went out. Just want to let you think he died 1942 he was born in 1942 i think he was born you think he was born that screen just went out just want to let you know screen just went dark on us mark
so let me tell you this guys let's start it up we got we got some conversation to make let's get
right into it the entire world is about to go into quarantine.
Okay?
So you better get your lo-fi hip-hop beats going because you're going to be doing a lot of this at the crib.
A lot of countries just gave warnings.
England, Colombia, South America, all out there saying three weeks in the crib.
They said do not leave the crib.
South Africa. South Africa.
South Africa is what I meant, not South America,
but Columbia's in South America.
Maybe that's why it made it happen.
I'm not going to lie.
The beat makes you kind of talk on beat.
This might really affect the flow of the podcast.
I might just start delivering bars.
Son, hit them with it.
Knees weak, arms is heavy.
The Rona's in my system already.
Threw up my spaghetti.
Psych, my girl can't cook.
We've been ordering in.
$500 at Whole Foods and you're still ordering out?
All that arugula is out the window, bro.
We're not playing games and we back.
So here's the thing, man.
England out there giving real strict rules, man.
You heard these rules out?
No, I haven't.
They said real strict rules.
You guys at home heard the rules?
They say you better not go outside.
You know, you're only limited to one outside exercise per day.
How often do you think we exercise, England?
Have you seen your population?
Do they look like they're out there
training for marathons during Corona?
English people aren't in good shape.
We haven't seen English abs.
Anthony Joshua, a bum boxer,
is one of the most famous people in all of England
simply because he looks good without a shirt on.
English people keep their shirts on
because they know what time it is.
These are bar people, pub people.
They're not out there at the gym type people.
They're not out there doing cross fit.
They got a cross on their flag.
They still won't do it.
It's not part of the culture.
They said you can't hang out with more than two people or three people, Al.
Did you hear that?
I think it was three.
Three people. That's what people, Al? Did you hear that? I think it was three. Three people.
That's what people are saying.
Who are you punishing?
My girl don't let me have more than two friends.
You think my girl let me go out and have bachelor parties every week?
Is that what you stop in England?
You stopping bachelor parties every weekend?
What happened to our music, Al?
It's coming.
Oh, okay.
It just goes in and goes out i thought it was
adjusting to my energy man this is dj all i'm trying to say is these these rules and restrictions
are absolute horseshit you can't say you gotta stay inside no matter what you gotta stay inside
no matter what and then give me 10 reasons why i could go outside oh you can go outside and get
groceries once a day i'm'm not an Italian grandmother.
I don't need to get fresh mozzarella and fresh tomatoes from the market every morning.
I order my shit delivery.
Who are these people that are still lining up at the grocery store?
It's available delivery everywhere, right?
No?
Everywhere, yeah.
That's all I'm saying.
Guys, you don't even got to go to the grocery store.
Why are we putting these people at risk at the grocery store let's just do all delivery everything
if you could get the restaurant to deliver to your crib why can't you get
the grocery store to deliver to your crib this is basic information no
damn they should start that all the people out of work right now They could be delivering from the grocery store
Everybody their new job should be delivering from the grocery store
Every single person
New job delivering from the grocery store
Stay at home
With your girl
Go crazy like me and mine are
We reached our limit this morning
We reached our official limit
Talk about it
We need to put these beats in our apartment
because this is way more soothing than what we were dealing with this morning.
She put on Queen.
I couldn't do it no more.
I couldn't do it no more, bro.
I'm listening to gay ass.
Talk about it.
What happened?
I'm listening to a gay ass singer from Queen sing about fat bottom girls.
Shut up.
You fraud.
You don't want no fat bottom girls, bro.
You want the fat dick dudes.
Swingin' that dang-a-lang.
Dang-a-lang.
Dang-a-lang.
Dang-a-lang.
I'll bring out that dang-a-lang.
Dang-a-lang.
Dang-a-lang.
Bro, we really need to get some,
a little, what's it called, iPad
where we could do the sound effects.
Oh, the sound effects?
We're going to take it.
Swinging a dick.
Swinging a dick.
Talking about fat bottom girls.
Get out of here, bro.
What you do with a fat bottom girl?
Besides learn how to put on some fucking eye shadow.
That's the only thing you steal from them.
Excuse me, fat bottom girl.
How do you suck dick?
I want to get better at it.
This guy over here. So she put on Queen. dick i want to get better at it this guy over here so she put on
queen i'm trying to get out the house i go babe this is how i know that we reach our limit i go
babe babe where are my converse and this is what she says to me she goes i told you last night where they were.
That's eight words.
That's eight words.
In the closet is three words.
You added five extra fucking words so I can feel like an idiot.
That's where we are in my relationship, bro.
You know we got a good month to go.
At least.
Bro, they just said it's going to be.
At least.
Bro, we're in there until July.
In there until July.
I got to deal with this.
And my girl's smart because her apartment has the hotel windows.
You know, the ones that don't open up all the way so I can't toss her ass out.
I can just throw her ass against the window
and then she hits it
and it falls back down.
That's the best I could do.
Lovingly.
Lovingly, of course.
Hey, babe.
How strong are those windows?
I gotta act like
I gotta act like Tiger King, bro.
Gotta answer for everything.
Have y'all
you seen Tiger King yet?
Nah.
Well, I saw episode one and two and it's like i got
a theory out there but i'm safe for the podcast because it's flagrant everybody at home i saw
you guys in the comments talking about you saw tiger king yeah did i tell you did i tell you
i got to take did i tell you mark coming in here to get this get this camp mark oh you didn't think i knew that camera was there oh you didn't think
it's millie back to this one millie over millie back oh you saw me
hey bye instagram live this will be up on YouTube. Come kick it with us later.
YouTube.com slash flagrant2.
Al, were you keeping up with me with all my camera changes?
I missed a couple because you were just too smooth on me.
Son, you know that game that people are doing where they go like this and they go like that?
You have to look the opposite way?
No.
It was a person versus another person.
You point in a direction.
The camera, not the camera.
The other person has to not put their head the direction you point oh so it was a game pure plan right okay but
do you think you could do that with this camera oh easy but i only got you know what i realized
there was only two hey hey cut that hey cut that that's just quarantine logic bro don't worry about
it hey don't worry about don't mind yourself we're having a little
cabin fever over here guys bro it's son no it's getting bad dude and i'm being disrespectful
doing things i never used to do bro like like what i was at we got a delivery today and uh
there's a knock on the door and i said the delivery boy is here
come on bro i don't get it.
You can't be calling no grown-ass man boy.
It don't matter how short the Mexicans are.
Okay.
A little African-American.
What?
You know what I mean?
What?
Is he African?
No, he was Mexican.
Oh.
But you can't call him boy, bro.
Especially going out in this weather.
It's not that bad, though.
It's not that bad.
No, no.
You can't call a black person boy.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
If it was a black delivery guy, that would have been bad.
That'd be fucked up.
Mexican is like, if he was young in the face, that's a compliment.
If he's young in the face, it's fine.
Maybe that's it.
But still, delivery boy, bus boy, bro.
It's like, I biked here in the fucking rain, Al.
It was one of the most miserable experiences I've ever had in my entire life.
Son, I saw the bike sitting outside the studio.
I started laughing.
It was so bad, Al.
I know he was so good.
Can I tell you?
Can I tell you?
Yeah, what's up?
Here's the thing.
Mark offered to give me a ride.
You didn't know about this.
Mark offered to give me a ride to the studio in a car.
It was raining outside.
But my girl and I had just gotten in a fight over where my sneakers were.
Okay?
So I'm trying to make a point.
I can't go.
I'm out of here. And then Mark's like, I can pick you up in 45 minutes. Now I just got to make a point. I can't go. I'm out of here.
And then Mark's like, I can pick you up in 45 minutes.
Now, I just got to sit on a fucking couch like an idiot for 45 minutes.
My girl coming in like, well, if you had all this time, you could probably look for your converse.
Why are you asking me?
You're bothering me.
Okay?
So, I was like, I'm going to make a point.
I take the bike.
I get the fuck out of there.
Motorcycle.
Motorcycle.
Stop touching your face. Stop touching your face.
Stop touching your face.
Anyway, so boom.
I really sincerely hope.
Yeah, I was butt ass naked when he walked in.
I look like a Boston Terrier.
I just had a sweatshirt on.
Mark came in.
He goes, why are you dressed like Ariana Grande?
So we'll send a picture. we'll put a picture somewhere so i basically was like fucking them out i get onto the bike i hit the rain my motor motorcycle or motorized scooter
or motorized bicycle whatever you want to call it my motorcycle doesn't have any of those fenders
that block the rain so the tire is just picking up water and throwing it into my face
the entire half hour ride here yo i told you son i told you i had i hit one puddle and my face was
covered in corona that's right two days ago i walked in here disheveled i literally thought
there was something wrong bro i thought something bad happened i thought you lost a relative
like the way you looked at me and al just goes man i got it i go what happened he goes i hit
a puddle the whole puddle hit me the face went on my mouth i think i got the rona yup the whole rest
of the ride i didn't move a muscle in my face even that tight i was just like i wish they could
i was just uh yeah hey man you survived nah it survived, bro. Nah, it's getting rough, though. You're still with us.
It's getting rough at home.
It's getting a little rough.
It's getting a little cramp.
What happened?
What happened?
Al said he walked the stairs twice today.
I live on the 37th floor.
If you got to walk the stairs, if you go down and come back up,
and you go, I'm not ready to go inside.
I was like, I'm going to do this set alone.
Get a little cramp. Son, son'm going to do this set alone. Get a little cramped.
Son, son, go to the wide.
This is literally how we got to fight at home now.
You know what, babe?
I'm working out.
Hi, yo.
I ain't got no fucking room in the house to fight.
How do people used to fight?
Bro, how do these Nordic people do it?
How do people that got to stay inside all year round,
these people who, when it's winter, it's dark 24 hours a day.
How do these Nordic people do it?
Maybe that's why they hate black people in Sweden,
because they're so angry at dark in general.
They're like, how dare you come into here during summer excuse me stop bringing dark coming in summer alexis
alexis with two x's
so i had a lot it's so weird i still have people asking me about sweden
tell tell me what happened in the Sweden
So they're like yo, how was it in prison? And I'm like a lot like it is right now. So you feel in prison?
Yes, uh, look back in Sweden. Uh, uh, well, yeah, I'm feeding uh
What on the vegan?
No, I got a vegan in the crib they don't even know Al got a vegan in the crib They don't even know, bruh
Al eating straight vegetables
She eating straight meat
Bro, we really chilling out here, dog
It's different
It's different with the music
Yo, we trying to smoke?
Yo, Mark trying to get high, bruh
Mark hasn't showered since December.
Hair sticky.
What?
So's his tummy.
Get the blicky.
All right.
All right, let's get back to it in all seriousness, man.
And I mean this sincerely.
I mean this 100% sincerely.
I figured out what I'm going to do During this quarantine
I want to see if everybody's down to do this as well
How about we get rid of our
Fucking text neck
Are you familiar with what text neck is everybody at home?
Alex Media
So right now since we're always walking around texting
Our posture has actually
Shifted and our head has dropped forward
oh and our shoulders roll in that's been my posture since junior high school and i was chubby
and had some titties so your titties were drawing you down nah it's like i wore a big shirt and
if you lean forward yeah it doesn't show the points
so my posture's been stuck like that ever since all right well we're gonna fix your
shit yeah so everybody at home and seriously everybody at work so we're doing so much work
on our laptops we're doing so much work curled over like you see these retards at their offices
they have like the standing desk they're like i'm gonna burn calories and work on reports
so i tried that for one day nah beat. Beat it. Not going to happen.
Give me a comfy chair, okay?
But there are ways to battle it. So I was talking to the owner of La Playa Pilates in Montecito, California.
And yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe he knows my girl
You know what I'm saying
So
We're supportive of it
So
Lincoln the bio
You know what I mean
Why you trying to give me
More problems at home
I know I know
My bad
My bad
That's great
Remember when Martin
Was trying to give me
Problems at home
Son
We go on the fucking
Instagram live
For Corona's Got Talent
Yo pull up a joint So we You're trying to give me problems at home? Son. We go on the fucking Instagram live for Corona's Got Talent.
Yo, pull up a joint.
So we call hot girls. We call hot girls.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
See joint?
Yo, yo, yo.
Dude, if they're super hot, you get a lot of yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
Oh, yeah.
Okay?
The hotter they are, the more yo, yo, yo.
The more yo, yo, yo, yo.
So my girl's chilling here, and we're back there doing a Corona's Got Talent,
and then Mark just goes, pull up a joint.
This fucking idiot.
It's wrong to say because we're quarantined, Mark.
I looked towards him.
I know, bro.
I know, bro.
And then outside, I told him, like, Mark, you know how you fucked up, right?
He's like, how?
And then he did his hand thing.
He did his stupid.
You know that little cat meme that's going around where the cat got his paws up like that or his fingers like that?
Little Dr. Seuss ass motherfucker.
That's Mark.
So every time he knows he's lying, he's an idiot.
What did I do?
You know what you did, motherfucker.
You're going to learn one of these days.
Or we're going to Stein him.
Oh, I like that. That slaps right there. A little callback. You know what I mean? he gonna learn one of these days or we're gonna Stein them you get it if not no oh oh oh you drop some keys on them hmm some keys are going oh yeah that's me playing live oh hey but for
real here's a couple exercises we could all do i mean this 100 sincerely
what i'm doing during this quarantine i am getting rid of texnet because my posture has gotten
horribly bad and here's number one thing we're gonna do okay while sitting down right we're
just assuming our regular sitting posture i want you to put your hand like this finger like that
come on your lips and nose come on
you can't tell them something to touch their face now we're quarantined you can touch your face in
quarantine and also this works out really well because when you're telling your girl to shut
the fuck up you can also protect your neck and fix your neck right so right when you're like
shut the fuck up then you work on this so this is how you do it right you go like this make sure
it touches your
lips and your nose that's difficult for me because my nose comes out so far there's actually space
between my lips so do i have a witch chin and a big nose anyway ready so look you go like this
right we're on the close-up yeah go on the side so you can see the little gap. Do I have a piece of shit?
Fuck you, Al.
So then you go like this. Go on the side.
Keep your finger there.
Move your head back.
Now don't double chin it. Just move your head straight back.
And it's a reminder
of how far back your neck goes.
Don't double chin. This is double chin.
Just move your neck back like that.
And it's a reminder of how far you lean forward so now you're at a more neutral position other thing you could do is what
we're gonna do we're gonna bring our arms straight up without lifting our shoulders okay so the arms
come straight up mark both arms i know you like to do one of them but, Mark, both arms go up, right? The second your shoulders start to lift,
that's where you stop. Okay? So you go like this. You see my shoulders start to lift.
I'm trying to bring them down. That's too far. And you do that five times a day. This thing with
your nose, every time you sit down, just remind yourself to do that. Or if you're yelling at your
girlfriend, you're telling her to be quiet, make sure you do that as well. And then there's one more I got to do standing on a wall. Can you
get me on the wall? Switch to the wide out. Honestly, we're going to come out of this with
the best fucking posture. It's not even a game. Everybody, beautiful, elegant, supermodels,
walking down the street. Those of us that just revive. Okay. You know who has super bad posture?
Old people. They're dying anyway. Let's do this oh my god okay last one
put your back on the wall okay back is to the wall back is to the wall but your feet put them
eight inches away from the wall al do you know how much eight inches is i know nine
okay about eight inches from the wall. Okay.
Put your butt and back on the wall and put your head on the wall as well.
Right?
This is your neutral spine.
What I just did right there, that is your neutral spine.
That's how your back should be when everything's even.
You do that five times a day.
Just anytime you're going to the bathroom, your girl's in there, you're waiting, you walk by another room, do that five to 10 times a day. And it will remind you where your back is supposed to
be when all the posture and everything is good. How long do you hold it? 10 seconds. Okay. I just
made that up, but I'll have the right amount tomorrow, but hold it for 10 seconds. It's not
that hard to hold, to be honest with you. It's really not that hard, but it's just a reminder
of where you should be.
Okay?
We'll add another one tomorrow,
but those are three things
that I'm going to start doing
so I can work on my posture
during this quarantine, man.
I can't come out of this quarantine
looking crazy.
Imagine how much time
we're spending on our phone.
Imagine how much time
we're spending on our laptops,
looking at Netflix,
looking at Hulu,
looking at YouTube, all this kind of stuff. We're going to look like Neanderthals coming out of this. We're going on our phone. Imagine how much time we're spending on our laptops looking at Netflix, looking at Hulu, looking at YouTube,
all this kind of stuff.
We're going to look
like Neanderthals
coming out of this.
We're going to devolve.
It's going to be
going backwards,
the evolutionary chart,
so we can't let that happen.
We're going to come out
looking like elves.
Like that.
You and this elf shit,
son.
You still on it?
Can I be honest with you?
You finished the movie already.
Can I be honest with you?
What's up?
My posture is going to be that of a centaur.
Oh, they got good posture.
They have incredible posture. And they got a
wide back. Wide back.
With the fatty. With the fatty. Move that
hair out the way.
Mmm.
Like a centaur.
What? What?
Nothing rhymes with centaur.
Guitar? Centaur? Guitar? a centaur what what nothing rhymes with centaur guitar centaur yo get hard go joe mark chill out bro chill out put your pants back on mark why you took your pants listen uh uh i really like this
music vibe i'm not gonna lie i wonder if y'all hate this shit
You can't get distracted
Cause you get distracted
Nah it is
But it's just nice
It just creates a little
Vibe action with it
That's all I'm saying
I wanna get that neck better
I wanna get everything
Oh you wanna get that neck better
That neck better
We gonna work on that
Cause I'm working on
One new thing a day
I'm trying to do
One new thing a day
That was my new thing
That I started today
Working on my posture
What about you Al
What you started today
I mean Unlike you I'm not trying to improve my neck game but
uh today i tried it for the first time yesterday going upstairs so i live in a 37 floor i went up
the full flight of stairs and then today i did it twice it was difficult the second time was just to
pretty much just get away from people.
But yeah, I want to put together some furniture.
Usually I hire TaskRabbit people to do that type of stuff, but I'm going to do it myself.
What about a learn thing?
Cook.
Here's something.
That cooking thing is because now you can switch meals.
So here's something that we're going to.
I'm going to learn.
Me and my shorty are going to do.
We're going to learn how to make the drinks that we always get at the bar.
But never have done really ourself.
Like an old fashioned.
You should learn how to make the picante from.
Oh hells yeah.
That is the first drink.
Soho House Miami.
And I'll be honest with you.
I'm not a big Soho House guy.
Soho House everywhere.
All of them.
They got this.
They got it.
Okay.
So there's a drink called the picante.
Right.
It's basically like a spicy margarita, but it's bomb.
We might have to get that.
Yo, we might have to get that.
That's actually my favorite drink.
I'm going to learn that.
Yeah, you like that drink a lot.
You like that drink a lot.
We might have to get that.
I'm trying to do a new thing every single day.
So if you guys have recommendations of other things that we could try out,
and I'm telling you it's little shit,
but if I feel like I did a new little thing every single day that's why we did the corona's got
talent yesterday i don't know if you guys were watching on ig live but we literally just did a
live talent show on my ig and we were gonna like make a fucking big sign for it and try to do a
big promo release for it and all this kind of shit to like really build it up and i was just like
fuck it let's just do it let's just do it see if it works out see if it's fun see if people get involved and then they did we had a
great time and um i think we had like 15 000 people watching or something crazy like that
that's what's up and i was crazy so i think every day i gotta do a new thing i gotta figure out what
my new thing is gonna be for tomorrow i gotta think about it huh i gotta think about it yeah
it's like what do i want to do it could be dude learn how I got to think about it. Huh? I got to think about it. Yeah, it's like, what do I want to do?
It could be, dude,
learn how to fold a fitted sheet.
It could be stupid shit
that I've never done
my entire life.
You don't know how to fold a fitted sheet?
Fitted sheet's different, right?
So the fitted sheet
is the one that crinkles at the end.
That one is hard to fold.
There's a special way to fold it?
That's what I'm saying.
You didn't even know
there's a special way to fold it.
Some of you guys
asking the same question at home.
Dummies. Okay, you got me there. You know what I mean? I did not know there's a special way to fold even know there's a special way to fold. Some of you guys are asking the same question at home. Dummies.
Okay, you got me there.
You know what I mean?
I did not know there's a special way to fold.
There's a special way to fold.
How do you fold it?
I'm going to learn that.
That's going to be one of my things to learn.
I didn't learn it yet, but I know.
I'm trying to fix your neck, bro.
Next time I'll fix your mattress.
I'll fix all these things.
But I'm going to be on point with it when I'm done with this shit.
I'm going to be on point with it. And you know what I'm going to start doing? I'm going to start paying attention with it when I'm done with this shit. I'm going to be on point with it.
And you know what I'm going to start doing?
I'm going to start paying attention to all the shit my girl does that she says.
You're going to start paying attention to what you're doing.
To my girl in general.
I'm going to pay attention to my girlfriend.
No.
I'm going to pay attention to all the stuff that she does that she says is really hard, but I'm never around, so I don't know how hard it is.
You know what I mean?
So now when she says it, could be like no i know exactly how
difficult that task that you just did is i know exactly how much time it takes oh you're about to
be a tyrant now i feel sorry for her right now no but it's good i gotta be there i gotta understand
i gotta appreciate yo maybe i could find out how long it takes her to like do all her feminist
shit like makeup and like tweezing eyebrows like maybe I could really take this time to see how difficult it is to be a woman.
That'd be important.
Maybe I learn, you know, to have more empathy for what they got to go through.
Or maybe it's less.
Maybe go, nah, you guys are just lying about all that shit.
I don't really take that long to wash your face.
So are you going to like demonstrate it on yourself?
Say again?
Are you, when you're learning, you're going to like demonstrate,
like you're going to do it to yourself? You know what I'll do? You're going to stick it on yourself? Say again? When you're learning, are you going to do it to yourself?
You know what I'll do?
You're going to stick a tampon up the butt?
No, I'm not going to touch that butt shit.
But I will do this.
I will commit to maybe one week of doing a face routine.
Because you know how girls are like...
I've been on that.
You've got to get on that.
Well, I've been very fortunate that I've had good skin my entire life.
Son, my skin is unblemished
so you look you look very close to 40 nah you crazy bro all right you're crazy regardless of
my age i don't really care about my age bro because i like looking how i am like i'm not
one of these people that's afraid of how old i am nor am i afraid of like the crow's feet you know
what i mean like because i think it shows that you've laughed it shows that you lived yeah but you can naturally
combat it with taking care of your skin i don't mind it you just said you want to learn how to
do some facial cleansing situation but it's not to get rid of like my life yeah but that actually
helps it like if you moisturize you'll have less wrinkles yeah but you're acting like i care about that like i don't care about that like those things i think give you
character like when i see old people they got their faces all pulled back and shit i'm like
ah come on man stop lying to surgery yeah it's just weird like i i think you got to embrace
every stage of your life you know so like i think the people are like running from those things are
the most miserable because they're constantly living in fear
It's like they're being chased by time
And I don't ever want to feel like I'm running away from time. I want to feel like I'm kind of like walking alongside it
Right cuz then you'll be that's a good good approach to it
You know I'm saying cuz then you'll be appreciative of it be like oh this happened that happens except for balding
I'm not fucking with balding oh yeah i ain't gonna go i'll take no no no see you be bullshit i'm not gonna ball fuck that you i've been on the pills
son i took a pill 10 years ago before there was any clinical studies they're like it's gonna keep
your hair gobbled it so they might think i'm just trying to preserve what guy gave me that's it
i'm never gonna go under the knife for nothing.
But hey, if I can do it naturally.
Who knows?
Maybe we will.
Why is plastic surgery so stigmatized?
Because then you're going to look like the old people you just talked about.
Let me make an argument.
Let me completely.
This is what I do all the time.
I'll be saying one shit and then I completely flip on it.
Right?
So check it.
Right?
No, I got the argument for you.
This is why plastic surgery makes sense.
Our bodies weren't designed to live this long.
Okay?
Okay.
They were designed to live 30, 40 years.
Okay?
Now we're living 100 years.
So the actual body, think of ourselves like a Jordan.
You can only wear a Jordan so much before the soul gets fucked up.
Then you need to swap the soul.
So maybe we need to soul swap some parts of our
bodies maybe we need a soul swap some skin maybe we need a soul swap you know that shit back here
that girls it gets super long for some reason right yeah but if you keep the jordan in plastic
away from air and preserve it yeah but that's not how you live a life dog like these people to buy
the jordans and they put them in a fucking box and leave them there forever for what i wear my
jordans and i'm gonna wear my skin i'm gonna live my life but maybe since we're living longer we have to do
certain adjustments thank you to go along with good what's happening in our life and to maintain
our bodies and skin for what's happening so on some level i kind of understand and I agree with the plastic surgery idea.
Right. And I and I think it's actually keeping pace with how much longer we're living.
We're outliving our shells.
So we have to maintain our shells in some way so we can both live life and have a nice shell to live it with.
OK, so what about living life,
but naturally trying to preserve it as you go on?
I'm like, why am I fucking with this natural shit
when we got the good stuff?
So then it don't look fake and push back.
You can just moisturize right now.
You want to study for the test.
I'm like, I'll cheat.
Because for me, the tests don't do nothing.
I'll be honest with you.
I'll be honest with you. Oh, and we're be honest with you. I'll be honest with you.
Oh,
and we're coming up on 30.
Oh,
I'll be honest with you.
Okay.
We might give you a couple extra minutes.
Cause we got music.
I'll be honest with you.
That,
you know,
these people who like,
don't go out in the sun at all,
their entire lives.
Imagine missing the most valuable thing in human existence.
The sun,
we are all particles of sun.
We are all sunlight. What do we call the like sunbeams or whatever? We are we are all particles of sun we are all sunlight what do
we call the like sunbeams or whatever we are the the product of sun like imagine missing out on
the thing that you come from like what a fucking stupid idea i'm not saying just bake outside of
your you know your apartment or your house or your whatever it is or bake on the beach every single
day i mean that's equally stupid but like you have to live life yes you have to smile you have to laugh like i know girls that they try to not laugh because they don't want to
get wrinkles that's the most stupid thing in the world why miss out on joy so that you could look
good like it's just i don't know super perplexing to me so we have to find some way to manage
living life and the shell that we've been given not being able to live up to the standards of what we now live.
How do we manage those two things?
Maybe it's plastic surgery.
Son, I flip-flopped, bro.
Son, just give it up to me, son.
I live life.
And I naturally preserve it.
Just moisturize.
That's it.
You're black.
It doesn't count.
It doesn't count when you're black. It doesn't count.
It doesn't count when you're black.
I don't want to hear black people give me advice on aging.
Oh, yeah.
Just moisturize.
Yeah, moisturize.
Just rub a little chicken wing on your fucking eyelids every once in a while. I took a year off of Mark's life since he started moisturizing.
This kid looks like...
He's not moisturizing, bro.
It's not moisturizing, bro It's not stupid Mark
Word, Mark
So you're gonna start capping right now
Because you thanked me
After you
Ow
You see that?
Hear that?
He's been moisturizing more
Nobody wants to hear black people
Give advice about aging
Whatever
You don't want to hear it
Whatever, man
You know what it is?
I'm trying to help you out
I've never understood before
Like why Like black people get annoyed when white people say,
we're not privileged.
Now I get it.
This is the privilege argument that you're giving to me right now.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
You're privileged.
I'm going to expose us.
Al, you're a 63-year-old man, right?
And you look 25 years old.
Son.
It's not fair.
We don't age slower.
We just all moisturize.
Since I was a child, my mom would put loads and loads of moisturizer on my face.
I don't know why she did it, but she just did.
Was she trying to make you white?
Nah.
Maybe.
But I would walk into school being a shiny little butterball.
Right.
But that's just how we grew up.
And I'm telling you, that's the only difference. We don't age any slower than white people. It's just how we grew up and i'm telling that's the only
difference we don't age any slower than white people it's just that we moisturize i don't know
if this is true i think that we're gonna have to leave it up to the people at home to comment on it
hey oh we gotta end the freestyle okay ready what okay Okay, ready? Black people in lotion.
Skin smooth like the ocean.
I'm over here toasting.
To east and west coasting.
We going through the motions.
Oh, Cole.
I was just assisting you because you was about to stumble.
Oh, shit.
Bro, you already knew that? I heard.
I saw.
I saw.
Come on, bro. That's how amazing black people are.
They can tell when white people are going to fuck up their raps before they happen.
Come on, we got this, bro.
Dude, that's crazy.
You got a Spidey sense for it?
Hey, bro.
Hey, listen.
One new thing I'm also going to try.
Freestyling.
That was it.
I'll never do that.
That was my new thing for the day is freestyle don't ever put this shit on beats again but for real man uh we're doing one new
thing a day make sure you comment on the youtube if you got a new thing or just shoot us dms if
you got a new thing that you think was dope easy to do in the crib something you never thought
about i don't care if it's pilates yoga stretching make whipped cream you know you could make whipped cream yourself mark astonished me
yesterday mark you made whipped cream yourself son were you not here when we were having dinner
i don't know i was annoyed
okay okay we'll get back to that but for real let's just figure out some things that we could
all do man we could all assist each other in this shit and uh i think the music stays on the pod man
what you think out it's a vibe mark what you think music stays all right man we gave you a few extra
minutes we appreciate y'all we love y'all uh tomorrow when we drop we're actually gonna drop
the episode a little earlier and we're gonna drop it as an episode of flagrant to the podcast that I do at Akash
saying and Alex media.
So what I want you guys to do is if you're tuning in tomorrow with us, make sure you
go see tiger King and watch all the tire King on Netflix right now is unbelievable.
You'll love it.
A lot of you guys have already started watching it or I've already seen it right now.
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
We're going in-depth tomorrow.
I think we got to go in-depth tomorrow.
Tiger King recap, you know.
Al, anything to say to the people?
I'm good.
I'm good, man.
Well, let's end it how we always do.
Put the glass up.
Peace, love, and yurr.