Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Cuomo's Sex-Drive Needs a Quarantine feat. Yannis Pappas

Episode Date: March 2, 2021

Cuomo's Sex-Drive Needs a Quarantine feat. Yannis Pappas by ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up everybody today on flagrant 2 we're talking about China penetrating American booty holes Governor Cuomo has cases rising in New York and they're not from COVID we got Mr. Potato Head who's officially Tranny Potato Head and Giannis Pappas tells us why the history hyenas broke up also we got some other shit anyway let's just start the show. What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flaker 2. It's your boy, Schultz. I'm here with Akash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, and we got a special guest in the
Starting point is 00:00:33 building. I don't even know how to introduce you anymore, man. It's heartbreaking what has happened. It's heartbreaking, bro. Yeah. I am. Well, let me introduce you first. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:42 It's making the days a little longer. The days are so long yeah they're super long Yanni yes is that what you're going for Akash yeah glad we got that no we have Yannis Papas in the house man we have one half of the um the old history hyenas podcast man no longer here that's right totally. That's right. Totally gone. That's right. We tried to salvage it. Yes.
Starting point is 00:01:08 A lot of people don't know this. Yeah. Now, there's some people listening right now who might not know about the History Hyenas podcast. Very funny podcast with Giannis Papas and Chris DiStefano. Amazing run. We had a good run. Successful Patreon.
Starting point is 00:01:20 Very successful. Very successful Patreon. Akash gets Corona. Yes. I really brought this shit down. Yes. infects you yes no no no he doesn't no he doesn't i thought we were yes and no we're not yes anding we're setting you up okay oh i know i know akash comes in and gives half of the new York comedy scene Corona. Which is crazy. I'm the super spreader.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Yeah, because Chris was sitting right next to you and he didn't get it. Chris has had every virus. Yeah. I know that. There's just not enough room for any more in there. It's like the virus came and it's like a crowded elevator. It's like, I'll take the next one. It's like there's syphilis in there, gonorrhea.
Starting point is 00:02:01 It's like, there's no room for me. So you get Corona and you had it bad i had a bad one it was really bad yeah real bad i had it bad like alex had a bad no no no no don't do that don't do that you had it very i had it very bad you had it like hasidic level yeah no it was trying to god was trying to whack me yeah that's what it felt like and i also tried to do it a few times a lot of shit about him i don't blame him him. Yeah, fuck that guy. No, he keeps... I got shot. I fuck it.
Starting point is 00:02:27 He's trying to kill me, dude. I got struck by lightning. The history hyena's broke up. He's trying to kill me. He just wants you to pray once. That's it. On a deathbed. Believe in him, bro.
Starting point is 00:02:35 I'll become a... He's saving you. Dude, I think it's because I'm not Muslim. I think they figured it out and we should all convert and that's what Corona's here to tell us. It's here to tell us it's time to convert.
Starting point is 00:02:44 Muhammad was the way. It is taking out a lot of Jews. Yes yes it's taking out a lot of fat people the jewish community first yeah oh my god you could be on to something here absolutely are you ready to convert to islam i am ready say it right now you just have to say those i am ready to commit to islam as long as the deal is still there that I get eight wives and plenty of bitches in heaven I'm down in fact libertarians should be back in this like let religions into the free market they have wait are you libertarian no but I'm just saying like that should be an argument that they make is like if you're into the free market yeah yeah Islam I hate how much libertarians know about shit say again I hate how much they know about yeah because it reminds you of you no it's just annoying because i'll be like nah this shit don't make any sense so like well
Starting point is 00:03:28 technically i'm like i gotta really know things for this discussion fuck yeah it's so much easier when you're like the left or the right are bad feelings not facts that's why we feel it's not fact yeah that's all libertarians are just a bunch of ben shapiro yapping about the free market yeah if the left and right had a basketball game shirts and skins it would be feelings and facts and it would be facts to the republicans and feelings shirts and skins of politics listen we're not getting away from your accusation no we have to call you out you guys you're corona and then it attacked your brain a little bit it well
Starting point is 00:04:03 i think no no no it attacked your no i little bit. Well, I think, yeah. No, no, no, it attacks your brain. It attacks your voice. You sound like Marlon Brando every time I call you. You did. No, Schultz, please send a nurse to me, Schultz. God bless you, my friend. I'd be so grateful.
Starting point is 00:04:20 My wife and kids are in the other room. They won't look at me. Someone left a horse's head in my bed what's happening bro to talk to yeah and i wasn't even at home i was alone i was i was quarantined at our studio and there's no place to walk or anything there's just like why was i trying to send a thing to no at that point i was in a oh there's a whole story and then i was in a hotel in westchester i was all over the place then i was in i was in furze oh, there's a whole story. And then I was in a hotel in Westchester. I was all over the place. Then I was in, I was in Ferzie's house for a night. Then I called another ambulance and I went to the hospital again. And then I went to a hotel and then they found out. I almost killed
Starting point is 00:04:54 this guy. It was a whole adventure. I would think I gave that shit to me knowingly too. Then I was in my basement and I was in the back. I was in like, there was like, there was like levels to my recovery. At what point did you, were you so frustrated with your Corona experience that you felt like it was the right idea to call Joe Rogan and say that Akash knowingly gave you Corona? At what point were you so upset that you couldn't see your brand new baby and you said,
Starting point is 00:05:20 fuck it. I'm killing this guy's career. Yeah, no, it was, we were texting. I think it's great that he knows who you are now you're right i could have never done that it's not like he listens to the potter now it's memorable though right now it's memorable now it's memorable yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:05:40 and uh and i and i and i fixed it i spoke to my he goes yeah of course i fixed it well you fix it first and then i barely remembered it no but i mean i texted him i got everybody called me oh is it true that akash knowingly gave colin quinn corona i'm like how did it skip yannis the story just kept on building every new person i talked talked to, I heard that Giannis woke Colin up at night, and that not Giannis, oh gosh, woke Colin up at night, was sneezing in his mouth, and he was trying to take out Colin Quinn.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Dude, it was real serious. Accusations mounting up. I've been fucking quarantined, just getting occasional, every time I'm like, all right, look, man, it's okay. I didn't give this shit to anybody knowingly. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:06:24 Everybody's going to be okay. I would get a text like, yo, Rogan thinks't give this shit to anybody knowingly like it's fine everybody's gonna be okay i will get a text like yo rogan thinks you gave this shit to everybody on purpose every time wait rogan told a lot of people rogan messaged me rogan is a lot of people he's all the people but rogan messaged me and i was like hold on i gotta get to the bottom of this and then people were too like maybe they're too like nervous or something to tell me but they're when any comics would talk to me about they'd be like yeah i heard uh i heard yannis went on like some brooklyn podcast or something like that and then uh yeah he got it and like gave it to everybody oh my god that's you guys at brooklyn podcast i think we're a broken pocket yeah we are the shit's changed we're out here were you mad were you mad at all when you got it
Starting point is 00:07:03 no i was mad when you told them that akas knowingly gave it to people when i got it i was a little mad i didn't say knowingly i said because you had texted me something you said like don't you dare fucking moonwalk out of this no i'm not moving i've already apologized for it but at some point you told me right you go like you said like hey i wasn't feeling well and then i went and got tested and yeah after the yeah and then once you start tripping on like a 102 fever and i was texting with them in your brain and yeah 102 not that high to be honest with you i you before you said 102 i was like this guy was dying 102 i'll be getting that every four days
Starting point is 00:07:41 yeah i've got a 101 right now i don't know if I've ever had 102. You've never had 102? I've never had 102. What was the voice thing? What was that about? I don't know. I called you. It sounded like you were being strangled. Yeah, I don't.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Dude, I don't remember a lot of it. It was just like I was sitting there. I wasn't sleeping. I couldn't sleep. My heart was racing. My sodium levels were dropping. I was vomiting. I was having diarrhea.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Diarrhea. And so Rogan messaged me me and it was tongue in cheek. I was kind of like, yeah. He's like, how did you get? I was like, I got you. I was like, yeah, I want to blow up India. And which I do in his defense. If somebody said I want to blow up India, I would know it's a joke text.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Also, I was. Unless he was Pakistan. Also, I was set to do Rogan while he was still on YouTube. So I had to postpone that. I was like, fuck. Yeah. But I had no idea that it was gonna you know i had no idea i was saying something serious that was gonna end up affecting akash yeah of course my career akash's career is over now yeah ruined no my career is over this is doing great okay so so then you come out of corona right yeah and and then you immediately sabotage the history
Starting point is 00:08:47 you're like i couldn't have killed flagrant too i gotta kill some podcast my own let's make this happen no what happened what happened with hyenas not true at all uh yeah we don't give me some pc shit no we had a good run we had a good non-answer that's a three one no i'm starting i'm starting very polished yeah we had a good yeah three-year run it was a lot of fun i'm surprised we made it as long as we made it with how chaotic it is and you know how different uh our philosophies are and stuff but we had we had a great time we're great friends he's moving on to other stuff yeah I have long days, which I'm very excited about. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:09:26 I'm working with Jesse again, my old friend that we created all the characters and did ditch films with. So that's fun. And it just came to a point where it just got too hectic. And instead of sacrificing the quality of the podcast, we just decided, hey, let's just do other things. And who knows what happens in the future? So let's rate that media train response, guys. What do you guys think that was it's not hyenas it wasn't hyenas it wasn't
Starting point is 00:09:49 in the spirit of hyenas buddy let it rip yeah i think you gotta let it rip dude there's nothing there's nothing to let rip that's it that was it that's it nothing else that's it that's it got chaotic i could just say it got chaotic i mean they were making good money on on patreon buddy they walk away from that good money, I was good money. Hey, if you think I'd ever walk away, that was the only thing I had going. So I was like, I'm not walking away from that. But then you did. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:13 I mean, you know. Wait, are you saying, you said, wait a minute. Wait a minute. You picked up on that? I picked up on that too. That was good. It looks like it wasn't a Giannis Papas decision. Is that what you're trying to say? I'm not saying it wasn't. Giannis Papas decision. Is that what you're trying to say?
Starting point is 00:10:26 I'm not saying it wasn't. It was a mutual decision. We came to a point. You know when you just agreed that Chris was going to make the decision? Do you know when you get to a point where you just know it's time? It's just you never got to that point? Nope. I've stayed in relationships way too long.
Starting point is 00:10:44 There gets to a point. Some relationships are made to go the distance. Yeah. in relationships way too long. There gets to a point, like some relationships are made to go the distance. Yeah. And some of them are like, you know, the ones you really like. Webbing though,
Starting point is 00:10:52 webbing, webbing. Yeah, like you guys. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You guys are going the distance. Yeah. It's love. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:57 It's work though. Yeah, it is work. It's work. It is work. It takes work. It takes work. It takes communication. Even with my wife,
Starting point is 00:11:03 we're going to be together forever. It takes work. It takes communication. Yep. And maybe. So what. Even with my wife, we're going to be together forever. It takes work. It takes communication. And maybe... So what was lacking in the hyenas? Was it the work? Was it the communication? There was probably...
Starting point is 00:11:12 I don't want to really dig in, but I've already almost killed you once, so I don't know if I want to go over here again. But I really want to, because we're bullshit responders. Like, we sniff it out. Like, we sniff out money. We sniff out bullshit.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Yeah. So our instinct is to fucking dig and excavate yeah the truth yeah because we love both of you guys yeah truly and let the record show you know akash and i had a conversation yeah and it was basically how do we save hyenas i i yeah legit texted him like so we thought you know and i called you and i called chrissy and i was like why don't we try to do this. So we thought, and I called you, and I called Chrissy, and I was like, why don't we try to save this? Maybe we could talk this out. Maybe we could work through this.
Starting point is 00:11:49 This is a fun podcast. Everybody in the community seems to enjoy it. Yes. I don't think you guys were close to where you could have gone. I think you were very popular within the comedy community and within the comedy adjacent community, but you hadn't reached that You know Casual level Where like even the casuals Know about it
Starting point is 00:12:06 So I saw a lot more growth for it And oh gosh And I was like Yo let's step in here You know Let's see if we can use A little bit of goodwill And muscle
Starting point is 00:12:14 And make this thing happen And then both of you guys Were stuck in the fucking mud And your chemistry Great chemistry is rare I think Yeah You guys had it
Starting point is 00:12:21 Yeah Great chemistry And that's where I was also like Aside from Loving them individually. Great chemistry. And that's where I was also like, aside from loving them individually, together, great chemistry is so rare. I always want to preserve that as my- Do we have to make Chrissy's show bomb on TV so he has to come back and do History of Hymen? I think TV will do that for you, but we can help. Should we do it?
Starting point is 00:12:38 Should we try to drive the ratings down far enough? We have to remove everything from Chrissy's life where he has to come back to you. Yeah. I think if Akash can get Corona and give it to Chrissy, then we can even it out. Even the length. I can do that.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Yes. I can do that. If not Mark, Mark will get it at the third time. Yes, we need a carrier. It takes a lot. It's going to take a lot
Starting point is 00:13:00 to give it to him. He's very resistant. What would have kept it going? What would have kept the show going? Is there a thing, maybe? I think- What did you need to keep it to him he's very resistant what would have kept it going what would have kept the show going is there is there a thing maybe i think um what did you need to keep it going um great question good question what i do for a living i do for a living you know my history i come from the internet yeah so like that i'm dedicated to i'm dedicated to the thing that you guys are doing right here this is what i'm dedicated to i spent three years
Starting point is 00:13:30 completely focused and dedicated to that so it's like i think i know where i made my mistake is when i strayed from that how'd you stray i just started you know i wanted to get the half hour before hyena he's saying he had a great show at Mauricio. I took a show down here in Miami for a year that went nowhere. I took AOL two-point lead, which was great money, and I was interviewing athletes. You were looking for the industry to validate you. I was looking. Yeah, I was doing that.
Starting point is 00:13:55 Me and Nate were friends. Don't do that. It just doesn't work. Don't do that. I'm going to buy a Ferrari, but I recommend you not doing that. No. You did it. I might get the 355 you did it who knows by building this yeah and then doing it on your terms horns bro I might get a Porsche too dude it's not it is what it but don't fuck with the corporations yeah no networks are bad networks are horrible yeah unless you want to drive nice cars yeah yeah I mean yeah i mean you know but you did it you built something first fully yes yes and
Starting point is 00:14:30 then i tease i tease obviously i love what you've done and i've always admired what you've done we've had these conversations off air this time so you were committed to the internet you're committed to youtube and and did you feel like because of the opportunities Chris was getting, did that infringe on your guys' ability to like lean into the internet? No, it was, I think the focus was scattered. We started, the focus started going a lot of places. Yep. And you know, I don't know how much you could keep up the quality of something when the focus is all over the place.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's possible you know but at the same time as you guys grow you're gonna get new opportunities yeah and we you gotta take advantage of them yeah you know what i mean like yeah i see yeah i see how you thrived on the internet and i witnessed it in real time and it was like really exciting for me as like a young comic and seeing somebody like take ownership in what they did.
Starting point is 00:15:28 It was like super inspirational for me, you know, and I'm very grateful that I got to witness it because it made me realize there was a possibility for myself to do something like that. Like I didn't have to fucking pucker up every time I was at the cellar or pucker up at these fucking stupid events. So it was great. I would say it's directly responsible for your success. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:48 That's what I would say. Yeah. I think I just said that. Yeah, but you're going PC about it. I mean, I would go... No, I was inspired by you. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It let me know that there was a way to do it, you know, 100%. And so I think that's great. i also think that like there are different strengths that can fit into different parts like i think chrissy i think he will flourish like if
Starting point is 00:16:13 chrissy was born 10 years before he would be the biggest star on tv yes he is built for and this is not a criticism it is a compliment but he is built for an industry structure because you can put him in so many different slots and he will succeed, right? He's a very different character, but you know how Zach Galifianakis just takes over anything he's in as himself? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:35 Chrissy can do that with his persona. But he can like, I could have him host the fucking Bachelor and he's going to have fun with it. Yeah. Or you could have him do maybe a a character in a tv show like the joey character in blossom you know what i mean and like he could have those different things so it is weird that you guys are maybe being pulled in different directions but i think that the directions are being pulled in actually suit yourself yeah better totally and i think that's
Starting point is 00:16:59 why it came to a natural end because why does it have to end because we were wild we were very wild we said whatever you wanted to be as wild because you could be as well but he couldn't be as well because he has these corporate i'm sure that's the way he felt and he's doing a podcast with sal he got cursed there he's got to say poop instead of shit you know what i mean so i assume is there no cursing on the podcast with sal there's no cursing on it no no cursing that's the saddest news i've heard they whole time. They don't curse. They don't. I'll be honest.
Starting point is 00:17:27 I'm still impressed. Yeah. Because I never watched it and thought, wow, they're not cursing. Like when I see the clips on Instagram, I never noticed they weren't cursing. Righteous and Ratchet. That's another one. Righteous and Ratchet. They don't curse, but you don't notice that they're not cursing.
Starting point is 00:17:43 Interesting. So he felt a little bit conflicted he could you guys leaned into being wild and then these other things that he was doing stopped his ability to be why i don't want to speak for him but those two things seem like they're at odds but you're a wild boy i'm always wild i go too far all the time yes case in point texting joe rogan texting case in point when i postan texting Joe Rogan case in point when I post even Marisa Marisa's too much even when I posted
Starting point is 00:18:07 which I thought was funny but then I go oh that is wrong it's not funny at all I thought it was funny but it was wrong he posted a picture of me as Hitler
Starting point is 00:18:13 yeah that's kind of funny where is it funny yeah but it's funny but it's I understand we're out of context
Starting point is 00:18:19 you can't say it's not funny it's not funny why is it funny if there was context because Chris nicknamed you the Fuhrer, and it was funny. Our fans thought it was funny. Yeah, but if you just have a picture of Hitler, there's no context.
Starting point is 00:18:31 I get it. Within the comedy world, he's X, Y, Z. You just see, oh, this guy is racist and wants to kill people. I am wrong. How about that? I'm wrong. I make mistakes all the time. Was this the weekly combo during History Hyenas?
Starting point is 00:18:47 I mean, he was, Chris was known as the wild one on our show. Yes. So he was known as the wild one. Yes. So he was, we were kind of like Ren and Stimpy. We were kind of like Beavis and Butthead. Yeah. You know, I was like the one, I was like, you know, thought I was smart, but I'm stupid.
Starting point is 00:19:01 And he was just like the wild one that was like, yeah, yeah. Just kind of, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it's like, if we were a cartoon, we'd be like Ren and Stimpy or Beavis and Butthead. I like and he was just like the wild one that was like yeah yeah just kind of yeah yeah yeah yeah so it's like if we were a cartoon we'd be like Ren and Stimpy or Beavis and Buddy
Starting point is 00:19:08 and he was the wild one he was the one I constantly had to be like Chris I don't know if you could say that so it was like he was known kind of as the wild one
Starting point is 00:19:14 right until you got on Instagram huh no until I got on Twitter and then when you got on Twitter Twitter yeah Twitter is where I
Starting point is 00:19:20 got the longest but there's just so many like you're so verbose that it's like you can't even notice your wildness I just do what I want. But when you just post
Starting point is 00:19:26 a picture of Schultz's Hitler, then the wildness is clear. That's just, yeah, but you know, I don't go into it going I'm trying to hurt Schultz. I just realized
Starting point is 00:19:35 bringing this up, I'm going to have thousands of pictures of me as Hitler. The fact that we brought this up and I even give a little bit of pushback, that's all it's going to be.
Starting point is 00:19:43 They're going to take every picture of me waving goodbye to somebody and throw a fucking mustache on it it's gonna be bad for me but it's okay yeah so yeah you guys have this um you reach this kind of like a impasse where you can't be you he can't be him i kind of feel like it was it was headed that's the beauty of having no success well a lot of of people don't realize is like when you have no success, you have the freedom to do anything. Homeless people say whatever they want.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Nobody's canceling the homeless. That's a good point. Right? They're just cursing, saying the M word, screaming at people, chasing chicks on the streets. Okay, but they're homeless. They got nothing to lose. What are you going to take away from them?
Starting point is 00:20:17 Right. Once you get something to lose, that's where we find out who really wants to be in the game. You know what I mean? That's one of the things that we even said on the pod where it's like, if we're going to be flagrant, we're flagrant, whether I have a Netflix special, we're flagrant, whether Akash has a TV show, we have to be committed to this. And I understand how if he chrissy wanted to do those other things and you didn't how that could be a conflict of interest yeah but i can't blame chrissy for wanting to do those things who blames them no you can't blame anyone for anything they want to do also you guys got sorry to interrupt
Starting point is 00:20:56 but like also when when people got kids exactly it's like it's a totally different thing you're gonna lean into the thing that puts food in your baby's mouth. Yeah. And in your, in your situation, that's continuing to be a wild boy on the internet, like you do. And in Christie's, he's probably like, nah, this is doing these network shows where I get this guaranteed money. I don't got to worry about these different things. I don't know how to be any other way. And so I realized, and then I realized, I was like, I can't, I can't do it the other way. So why am I, why would I even think about it ever like i can't i can't do it the other way so why am why would i even think about it ever i can't do it i've done it i don't like showing up to a studio and there's a woman waiting for me to walk me into this room and then they do makeup before i just don't like it just doesn't
Starting point is 00:21:34 interest me and then i can't say this i can't say that i just you know i i want to be free to make mistakes i like to make mistakes because that's where You come up with shit Yeah Once you know I mean We comedians We have like That's why TV shows don't work Is because they have like A 10% success rate
Starting point is 00:21:52 We have like a 90% success rate Because we have to Yeah Because our lives depend on it Yeah And when we make one mistake They come after us And go look
Starting point is 00:22:01 He made one mistake But it's really like Yeah but I did 90 good ones Yeah You know What if you guys just did a patreon only we discussed that and then we made the decision not to do that we we made that decision no son man up why are you getting back to your corona voice it's it's been very hard to get him on board, but it didn't work. There was nothing we could do at this point.
Starting point is 00:22:28 Here's what also sucks is you can't probably say everything because then, you know, Chris isn't here to whatever. I can't speak for Chris. I can't speak for Chris. Luckily, you don't have to. Chris, come on in. Come on in. No, I'm just joking.
Starting point is 00:22:40 But then we also can't, like, be like, oh. I don't think he legally can do this podcast anymore. Oh. Probably not. True TV was like, yeah, you can't do that, oh, we're here. I don't think he legally can do this podcast anymore. Oh. Probably not. True TV was like, yeah, you can't do that. No, I'm just kidding. Look, everyone knows how funny Chrissy is. Cover it up, y'all.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Cover it up. But here's what I was going to say. We can't even, if you can't be fully honest, we can't check you on shit. Because all these things, there's two sides. There's two sides. And we're getting there's two sides. There's two sides. We're getting part of one side. There's two sides to the story, but I will- I also can't call you on any-
Starting point is 00:23:09 But dude- Here's what you could have done. I'm in my 40s. I've been alive for long enough to know that the bickering and all that stuff is pointless because when that starts to happen, you just know, all right, this is time. Yeah. It's time. You guys are both mature enough to do that.
Starting point is 00:23:22 It's just time. Yeah. It's time. It's time. It's time. We did like seven years worth of content together with the patreon everything you know and it's like we're two crazy comics we're chaotic comics and you know things we started to have conflicts of interest and philosophies and getting two comics to work together for that long i think
Starting point is 00:23:42 the success is that we made it that low isn't't it just as two people grow, you're not going to be the same person you were seven years ago. Neither one of you are. If you are, that's stupid. You didn't accomplish anything. But as you grow, you got to fight to get it back to the center. And in my mind, he wasn't trying to do any network shit, but I understood like, yo, this guy is doing a ton of different things. So I'll hold this down as much as I can. I bring people in give them corona take out their podcast we will grow i'll do what i need to do you go do that yeah that's where i was thinking and i don't know
Starting point is 00:24:14 the full story but i'm like oh if chrissy wanted to do that couldn't yannis be like yo chrissy go handle that i'll try to take as much as bandwidth as i can here's the difference i think i think you guys brought this to fruition where it's a powerhouse. We were very much at the beginning of the climb. I think you want to kind of, at that point, that's when you really want to double down and get to the point where when you're negotiating
Starting point is 00:24:36 for those other things, you can make yourself look good in those other things and kind of dictate your own destiny because you have the power and the leverage to do so. Yeah, you guys got opportunities too quick. Say again? You got opportunities too quick.
Starting point is 00:24:50 I didn't get any opportunities. Yeah, like the same way that you say we make decisions? Yeah. I'm using the royal you. Yeah, she got it. No, but like maybe Chrissy got the opportunities too quick. You know, like we didn't get netflix until way after we were a significant podcast right so we were in the position to go nah this is what we do once the rock comments on your shit yeah you're gonna be able to get them
Starting point is 00:25:18 to do what you want to do you know and you don't have to sacrifice the way you look because it can hurt you you go do a show, it can hurt you. Yeah. Yeah. It can hurt your shit. Yeah. It can hurt your brand. You go do some fucking dumb show and they say do it this way, talk, and then people start, your fans start hating you for it.
Starting point is 00:25:33 And your fans in this era are everything. Yeah. They're everything. I think you get to dictate to your fans more than you realize. Like you have hours to talk to them. I don't know, bro. We just went through a breakup. And if you listen to what the fans are saying,
Starting point is 00:25:46 I don't... Yeah, because you stopped talking. That's the whole issue. No, we did podcasts together since then. You do podcasts, but none... Like, they've all been banked. So you can't talk to the fans directly and say, yo, for hours on end,
Starting point is 00:25:57 like you could as an individual, hey, here's the deal, here's what it is. They'll eventually understand. You also just... I could come on Flagrant 2 and beat around the bush, though. I can also i could come on flagrant to beat around the bush though i can do that you but you flew in to beat around the bush i flew in for one night did not give us answers welcome to bush garden baby
Starting point is 00:26:15 i'll tell you this right now i if this was a show on any network i wouldn't fly down for it my man i'd go down for this because it's fucking a dope show thank you yeah it's a dope show and what you were saying before about getting away from your wife and kid yeah before the podcast yeah you're like oh my god it's doing a little cocaine bro you know i haven't slept bro nobody sleeps in miami bro everyone here is just a professional sex worker nobody has any real jobs yeah different versions he wants to cover some shit up he just keeps talking i love it i love it man well we support you man yeah that the tricky thing i think with a podcast is oh i knew i was getting
Starting point is 00:26:57 railroaded as soon as i walked in here and schultz didn't make eye contact with me for like five minutes i knew it the insight goes both ways. Comic, I know. I'm like, oh, we're about to have some shit. We're going to start with Akash's Rona. Then we're going to chapter two. Schultz is taking a shit going chapter one. We're going to start with the Rona. Chapter two, we're going to make him talk shit about Chrissy.
Starting point is 00:27:16 Son, I asked Chris to be here. I called him yesterday. He's in Phoenix with his family. But I was like, I will fly you in. And then we just have the reuniting episode and then literally i'm thinking which was akash's original idea was what if both of you sit down and you're having so much fun on the mic and then we get fucking yeah that would be epic i still want to we come from a good place this is i don't want the uh oh
Starting point is 00:27:40 let's start beef between you got to do your, and there's nobody that understands that more than me. No, but I agree legitimately. I know. What do you mean by that? You couldn't not address this. This is flagrant, too. You couldn't come in and be like, so, Janice, tell me about how the baby is. That's the most interesting thing in your life right now.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Yes. Yes. Yes. I don't think I've ever asked about your baby. Yeah, no. Because you're so, so, so, so bad. I'm a fucking sucker. How are the Patreon numbers? How are the views? Your baby. about your baby yeah no because you're so excited now what can we do with that can you start a podcast with your baby make an instagram on her she's gonna sell the bluetooth she's proof it
Starting point is 00:28:18 works she's proof it works but point is yeah listen it's obviously want to have honest conversations with you this is a conversation we would have and we did have i dig it before i did um that's what you're gonna try to get y'all back together who you guys are great individually but you're fucking great here's the thing if chrissy was here we would have tons of fun yeah we just did burr kreischer's we had tons of fun our our final episode after we knew we were breaking up we had tons of fun once we get cooking we get cooking yeah the team is me and chrissy it's what it is yeah and uh you know and maybe we get it in the future i guess what i'm trying to say this is like a good thing like good advice for podcasters in general is that like and you do have more control than a lot of people realize i think that's what Akash was pointing out.
Starting point is 00:29:06 But like, however you decide to brand yourself, right, is going to be the expectation that your listeners have. And then if you shift from that expectation, they will feel misled. But you are allowed to evolve. Yeah. Like The Breakfast Club started out as one of the wildest shows in history and then has started to interview presidents. You know what I mean? Like they've completely evolved. And your fans evolve with you as long as you tell them, hey, this is where we're going with things.
Starting point is 00:29:35 So I think that honest conversation with them, and maybe you wouldn't want to go there. Maybe both of you guys wouldn't want to meet in the middle, and that's totally fine as well. But you guys do have more power and control in terms of your narrative than you'd think. I think we were already evolving. We already evolved over the three years. Yeah. You know, I think it's just, you know how it is, man. Whatever you put in, you get out. Shit going in, shit going out. Yeah. Commitment, whatever energy you put in is what you get out. And you know, when things, when other things start pulling you all over the place it kind of sacrifice you have to sacrifice sometimes what kind of got you there and uh i don't know man can't do that again because we were so busy
Starting point is 00:30:16 and i was doing so many different things and akash really does nothing yeah i can hold it down but you can relate but you got it but you but for real if akash isn't isn't dedicated to the podcast like he was and obviously mark and alex but when mark and i were working on the netflix thing alex and akash had to hold down the podcast and even from the beginning as things were pulling me aside like i've always had that conversation with our customers. Like, yo, I need you to fucking hold this down. Make sure we're good. Patreon and everything. I also,
Starting point is 00:30:49 I was going broke, but I said to him like, yo, you got a lot of shit going on. Handle that. I'll take as much of the podcast as I can. Built the Patreon, figured out all the fucking tiers on the phone with those guys.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Like you just kind of, all right, if we want this to work, let's make this work. I believe in this. He believes in this. You're busy. Go be busy.
Starting point is 00:31:05 I'll make this work. You know in this. He believes in this. You're busy. Go be busy. I'll make this work. You know what it is. There's two sides. There's two sides to every story, right? There's two narratives. I think maybe one is more guessed about. But at the end of the day, what's important is, you know, when those things happen, that it's just time.
Starting point is 00:31:22 It's just time. Yeah. There's things that like, you just can't talk. There's no reason to talk about them. It's just becomes a thing where you're going like, I didn't like this. I didn't like this. This is that, this is that.
Starting point is 00:31:32 Yeah. Probably none of it's true. It's just two people's interests kind of started wanting to evolve in different directions. Yeah. I won't just say it's just him also. He has his thing where he wants to do what he wants to do. He's got a new family, whatever. And then there's also things i want to do and how
Starting point is 00:31:47 i want to be and what i want to explore so it's probably both it's probably both and then it it maybe manifested itself in some of course there's going to be some bicker everyone knows that i mean our fans are going like we don't buy this of course there was some bickering yeah of course that happened you know what i mean it's just we didn't high five and say you know what we're just about to blow up let's stop yeah okay so like you know i'll admit that much but but you know you go you know let's let me have some retro let me have some retrospective wisdom about this at the present right now yeah let me put myself in five ten years what am i going to be saying about this i'll be saying it was time that's what i'll be saying so i'm not gonna i'm not gonna i'm not gonna partake right in the
Starting point is 00:32:28 bickering and all that i'll just go you know what it was time and i'll just focus on the things i want to do well we love you we love chrissy does that make sense no no uh i actually stopped listening it makes sense to alex i sort of got it when you started mentioning five and ten year plans i was like i don't know what we're talking about right now i didn't when did you when did you tap out when did you tap out something about bickering he said bickering and then i just started thinking about his voice can you get a nurse up here anything for a corona test god i am a pussy bro i'm a pussy we saw yeah no i'm a pussy we tried though but i was also very sick but we tried you were great you know that the nurses you were also very great and i like we we already we
Starting point is 00:33:11 talked we had a whole whole talk about it on hyenas yeah and uh but we wanted people to actually listen yeah you wanted some people you want what you want the black community to put here exactly right and by the way can i ask you a question do black people drink coca-cola do they drink it yeah you were you were almost black as a kid yes i wanted to be okay you committed fully you got shot i was committed to it yeah okay i was committed so do black people drink coca-cola i think they do oh way more we got one on twitter and what do you think they drink no no we said black people drink coca-cCola. Alex came out of his ass yesterday or last week. It was a regional thing.
Starting point is 00:33:47 It was a regional thing. Stop it with this regional shit. It was regional. Alex just out of nowhere, I think he was bored or something, he just goes, yeah, yeah, black people don't drink Coca-Cola. Like, we only drink Pepsi. Blanket statement, black people do not drink Coca-Cola. And I had people like DMing me like, he does not speak on behalf of the black community.
Starting point is 00:34:04 And I had people like DMing me like, he does not speak on behalf of the black community. Like, we love a Coca-Cola. And they were spelling out Coca-Cola. Like, Coke-a-Cola. Like, that's how serious black people are about Coca-Cola, Al. So, I'm going to need you to make sure you fact check all your black shit. Okay? That's why there's a question mark at the end. What's that?
Starting point is 00:34:22 Pepsi, the only choice for African Americans? Yeah, well, you know Coke. The page needs fucking donations. That's how whack this article is. Please donate with PayPal our shitty nonsense article. Try to buy some Coke. Coke was first marketed to black people as the alternative to Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola only marketed to white people.
Starting point is 00:34:41 No, but Coke went hard. This is more white people. Yeah, I know, but so that's what I'm saying. They came after and they're like, oh shit, they're just like not even acknowledging this group white people. No, but Coke went hard. This is more white people. Yeah, I know, but so that's what I'm saying. They came after and they're like, oh shit, they're just like not even acknowledging
Starting point is 00:34:49 this group of people. I'm going to go after them. So it actually did start and became like that. Al's trying to wheeze you the situation. So Pepsi is like the Subaru of sodas.
Starting point is 00:34:57 I guess. Like, you know how Subaru went after Dykes? Oh, yeah. Because they were like, Dykes drive cars. Yeah. But then there's not enough Dykes
Starting point is 00:35:07 and now he's like, all right, everybody, like, can drive them. I don't have a Subaru. You do have a Subaru, son. You do have a Subaru. Actually, you got a fake Subaru. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:35:19 You got a wannabe Subaru. The kit car Subaru. You got the kit car Subaru, son. You got the Kia Subaru. They're great in the snow, Subarus. What? They're great in the snow. Are they?
Starting point is 00:35:30 Yes. We're in Miami, baby. Yeah, you don't have to worry about that, bro. Uh-uh, bro. Nah, bro. Absolutely nothing. All right, listen. Well, while we have you here, is there anything else you want to say before we get into some
Starting point is 00:35:39 of these combos, my friend? The actual things, though. I can't handle another PC answer. No. I think we got it. I think we no that's i think we got it right we got it i think we got it we just want to make sure that you could say your piece yes you know i said my piece all right i love you honest i love you too i want everybody to go check out yanni long days please i watch them do you on instagram yeah yeah for a couple seconds
Starting point is 00:35:57 i'll give you up until it says do you want to keep watching and then maybe when you click when you click when it goes from the to a little debate yeah it goes a little i give you up to there watching? You mean when you click? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When it goes from the... To a little to big? Yeah, it goes a little to big. I give you up to there and sometimes you'll say some wild shit
Starting point is 00:36:09 right before the thing stops and I'll be like, this motherfucker is going to make me press a button. I just wanted to scroll and I'm out here pressing buttons.
Starting point is 00:36:17 I'll keep watching but I do watch them. Thank you, sir. Yeah, I'm a big supporter of Giannis Papas. I appreciate it. I love you. Yeah, I always appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:36:24 All you've done, I appreciate. I haven't done anything. You helped. You helped. In fact, when we did Hyenas, I think a large portion of our fan base at the beginning was Flagrant 2 fans. Well, that is not us. That's you guys having a great podcast and then people recognizing that.
Starting point is 00:36:37 I take no credit for that. Yeah. Unlike some people. No. I love you and I can't wait to see what you guys both do. And I mean that 100% sincerely. Now, I do want to talk about a couple of stories and you're an opinionated man here. So it'd be good to get your opinion on these things. The first thing that came to my attention, tension which i think was absolutely mind-bogglingly terrifying is that um china has been anal swabbing u.s diplomats that's that's an act of aggression right they said it was a mistake come on bro they bent us over and they fucking penetrated us i think they're just fucking with us at this point that's what i'm saying they're just fucking with they're just
Starting point is 00:37:29 and then they said oops oh my bad clinical error like they make errors like yeah they never admit to fault right even with corona they're like no we did everything right and when it comes to bending us over and shoving shit in our ass all of a sudden it's an error yeah no error with corona not a single thing they did wrong with Corona, right? Everything perfectly done right, but they bent us over. They made us come into their fucking offices. They bent us over a table and they shoved shit in our ass.
Starting point is 00:37:53 You think they think all American people look alike? And they're like, we don't know. I'm confused about that. Maybe Chinese people are like, oh, all Americans look alike to us too. You mean all white people? No, no, no. Chinese people are like, oh, all Americans look alike to us, too. You mean all white people? You mean all white people? No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Chinese people look alike. No, but I don't understand what you mean. Maybe they didn't know they were diplomats. Maybe they thought these were some regular, you know, American jokes. No, they're saying they shouldn't have done it at all. Yeah. The anal swab thing. No, they were anal swabbing mad people.
Starting point is 00:38:18 And then when the diplomats came in. Oh, I see what you're saying. They were like, oh, we didn't know that they were supposed to get a different security. Sure they did. Sure they did. They anal swabbed their own, too. Look, I don't care what you're saying. They were like, oh, we didn't know that they were supposed to get a different security record. Sure they did. Sure they did. They didn't swab their own, too. Look, they want to. I don't care what you do to your own.
Starting point is 00:38:29 You're not going to stick nothing in an American's ass, yo. They already did. Yeah, they already did, bro. Yeah, they did. What are you going to do about it? They snuck it in our proverbial ass. Dead ass? What are you going to do about it?
Starting point is 00:38:37 If Biden put a nuke off right now, and it was like, well, they were sticking things in our ass, you wouldn't a little part of you be like, that's my motherfucking guy. That's my motherfucking guy. We'd get nuked right back. Nah, they were sticking things in our ass. You were in a little party. You'd be like, that's my motherfucking guy. That's my motherfucking guy. We'd get nuked right back. Nah, they can't reach us, bro. They reach us, bro. How are they going to reach us? They have a billion of them.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Like ants, they'll build a bridge to a place where they can fucking launch it. They will build a human bridge and launch it. No way, bro. I think we can nuke them first, dude. Dude, have you ever seen them fucking do like, you know, fucking Dance Dance Revolution? They know how to hook on to each other. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:09 They fucking hook on to each other. They can plug in like they're magical people. They can plug into each other's houses. They do the ass and they do a human centipede like that. They build a bridge and they'll launch it close. But what are they going to launch it off of? Off with a fucking last dude who's hanging off the bridge. You're going to launch a nuke right off the last dude.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Yeah, dude. They're tricky like that, man. They named it TikTok because they're fucking with us too. It's called TikTok because they know we're at our end. They're going TikTok America. TikTok, TikTok. Whoa, dude. So we should nuke them. They took Taiwan.
Starting point is 00:39:39 They took fucking Hong Kong. Our economy's collapsing. Pretty soon, American women are going to move to China to open fucking nail salons. It's over. It's a reversal. It's a reversal of destiny. Yeah. They're going to be in there
Starting point is 00:39:51 going $5, $5, do the nails. $5. And then the Chinese are going to be, there's going to be some Chinese comic who's going to go viral
Starting point is 00:39:59 going, have you ever gone into an American store? They go, $5. They pronounce their R's. They're fucking weird. I think they're talking shit about us
Starting point is 00:40:07 in their own language. There will be a Chinese Angela Johnson and then there'll be a bunch of comments going, she's not that funny but she'll be making
Starting point is 00:40:13 millions of dollars. There'll be a reversal of roles. Really? Yeah, they fucking, let's move there and surrender, dude. It's over.
Starting point is 00:40:21 Don't you want to fight back, Giannis? No, I want to learn how to talk their language. I want to learn how to talk their language. I want to learn their- You ain't ever going to. That shit is too complicated. Just make noises and fucking learn how to do puzzles.
Starting point is 00:40:31 If you could solve fucking stick and dot puzzles, you could speak it. Didn't we just have a 30-minute conversation about how you only want to do what you want to do? And the second China's willing to take over, you're like, I'll learn Mandarin. Fuck it. Let's do puzzles. Sudoku? Great. Dude, they already have taken over. Nah they've taken over nukes the only problem is nukes we got
Starting point is 00:40:52 nukes but you can't you can't you can't you gotta start with a littler china no you just gotta go in dude you fiend i'm running back the sequel not for real dude i'm not i'm not bending over man yeah enough of that yeah enough of that dude yeah but why are you so willing because they won no they didn't win how'd they win they said corona they let us know who's boss they let us know who's boss trump was like i'm gonna put all these tariffs we're gonna fuck you and they're like oh yeah and then they just flick the virus into the west. Yeah. And just like, they were partying. Did you see Times Square?
Starting point is 00:41:27 They're equivalent to Times Square called in Wuhan where they were just, did you just make that up? Yeah, totally. Yeah. It comes from like,
Starting point is 00:41:37 their language comes from like someone. Yeah. And do you see what they were doing? That's how you sounded with Corona. Help me. Your boy Dove was like, I'm trying to do it.
Starting point is 00:41:49 I'm trying to get you. I'm trying to get. We got four nurses in the area. They won't go up there. I'm talking to Shultz. I grew up with Shultz. He's one of my best friends. I'll do anything for him.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Now, Boobie, what do you need? Boobie, what do you need? Have you tried the chicken soup? That's what my grandmother used to do. Just take chicken soup. You're going to be okay. Okay, Boobie? You're going to be fine.
Starting point is 00:42:04 Did you get this from Akash? I know. You got to stay away from those people. There's a lot of diseases. That part of the world, they don't wash their hands. They kill rats with their hands, Bubby. You ever see those,
Starting point is 00:42:19 you ever watch that documentary, Rats? Like they go to India and there's just a dude in the street killing him with his bare hands? You saw call it i almost called it england i almost that's fine i get it i get it we just stopped calling it yeah it all and it all went down downhill from there you know okay no so you really are ready to bend over for china you would let them anal swab you no no you would let them anal swab you? No, no, no. You would let them anal swab you? Yes.
Starting point is 00:42:46 You're over there and they're like, bend over. It's time for your anal swab. And you would say, okay, and take it? Absolutely. I'm ready. Despicable, dude. I'm ready. Despicable.
Starting point is 00:42:56 You took a show at Netflix after you said Netflix was over. You're calling me despicable. Hey, hey, hey. Ferrari. Or a Porsche. We driving big shit, baby. You know, Miami's the only fucking city where you'll see like a purple Lamborghini outside of a restaurant and then you'll go follow that dude in that purple Lamborghini. Like, where does he live?
Starting point is 00:43:18 He lives with his mom. He lives with his mom or he'd just sleep in the Lamborghini. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I'm getting a fake car, though. Yeah. What do you mean? I'm going to get a fake one. What do you mean a fake one?
Starting point is 00:43:30 I'm going to buy a fake car. From China. You traitor. No, not from China. American made. German cars. No, German. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:37 American cars are fake cars. Yeah. No, but for real, I'm going to buy a fake one. I looked it up. So I want like this 1965 Porsche, right? It's a speedster yeah and they happen to be like three hundred thousand dollars when they're real yeah and then this but this guy tells me he goes no you can get like a replica of it and i go what's that he goes it's a company
Starting point is 00:43:55 that's reputable just builds a new version of it and then you put a new engine in yeah and like new parts and stuff you can actually have like ac and like power windows but the shell looks like the old porsche that you like maybe it's 1956 or something like that right and i was like yeah i was gonna do all that to it anyway there's no way i'm paying three hundred thousand dollars for a car i was like how much is that i'm thinking it's gonna be like 200 or 100 they're like oh you can probably get done for like 40 000 i'm like hold on i can have the car that looks the way i want it to look with all the new shit, because there's no way I'm going to be driving
Starting point is 00:44:27 my fucking wife around with 1950s brakes. Like, would you put your girl that's pregnant in a car with 1950s brakes? No, definitely not. You're going to upgrade all the shit anyway. I was like, so wait, I can get the thing. I'm not a fucking car enthusiast. I just want the shit to look beautiful
Starting point is 00:44:41 because they look beautiful. They made these beautiful cars back in the day. I was like, there's no way in hell I'm going to spend top dollar when it's not even the shit to look beautiful because they look beautiful they made these beautiful cars back in the day right i was like there's no way in hell i'm gonna spend top dollar when it's not even the shit i want right i'm not trying to impress some like fucking loser that's into cars right i'm trying to impress the guy that knows nothing about cars but hell yeah so i'm gonna get my kit car it's called a kit car nice yeah i didn't even know you could do that 100 i don't think you can do with like the like if for, you get like an old Ferrari or something like that, you might want to get the actual car.
Starting point is 00:45:07 Yeah. But like from the 1950s, a fucking Porsche. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? That's a German car. I can't support 1950s Germany. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:14 Well, they had cleaned it up by then, right? 1950s Germany's fine. Yeah. 40s Germany's a problem. Yeah. But it was still lingering. It's not like you like stopped being hateful. No, they stopped.
Starting point is 00:45:22 They, I think they got the message. Yeah. They got the message, but it didn't go away.'s not like they saw like jewish people and they're like the wall was still up the wall was still up but they were communist yeah but that's different communist yeah but you think they like just were just like nah jews are cool now like you think that completely i will buy a car they pretended they got woke about it i think that's german that would be the equivalent of wokeness now like if there was a social media germans would be like here's me with my Jewish friend.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Now, but not 1950s immediately. 1950s, they tried to clean it up quick. You think you can just snap out of it? We firebombed the shit out of Dresden. People don't know that like, because it didn't have the big bang that, you know, that we did in Hiroshima. But we fucking carpet bombed those snow monkeys. I mean, we fucking carpet bombed them. mean we killed a lot of german we sent a message yeah we said don't fuck with the
Starting point is 00:46:12 boys you got us involved we were fucking doing our thing playing baseball now we're coming over here and showing you what america we can't do that to china you too scared bro we can't bro you're scared bro they got too many of them bro no they don, they don't. You got to back. We have nukes. You just wipe them out with the nukes. Who? Who? Who? Us and girls got to eat?
Starting point is 00:46:29 Look at us. We don't want to be soldiers, bro. I know. I would do it. I was scared of Corona. You think I'm going to war? I would do it, bro. I would do it.
Starting point is 00:46:36 You ain't doing nothing. I would do it. I saw 9-11. I was like, I'm going to let the boys handle that. Yeah. But when I saw anal swab stuff, when I china fucking anal swab u.s diplomats it's time to go here's the thing red button here's the thing let's go biden you got a decent you're decent with moving hands around i seen you yeah but if you got a hundred you know the movies ain't
Starting point is 00:46:56 real bro like if a hundred of them come at you bro yeah bro and hop on you i'm just in miami bro i'm going oh miami bro yo bro yo Yo, bro. Yo, hallelujah, bro. What happened? What happened to the 100th economy? You're going to be swinging and like Godzilla, like 100 of them will just fucking climb on you and slowly take you down. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:14 They will slowly overwhelm you. Yeah. Like you ever see like a bunch of bees trying to get like a wasp that goes in there and fucks one of the bees up and then they try to, you can try to get close to the queen. Yeah. They'll swarm you. What are you not getting to get close to the queen they'll swarm you what are you not getting about nukes
Starting point is 00:47:27 that they have them too no but they don't go far enough how do you know bro are you in the military yes I know about these things it's cause the earth
Starting point is 00:47:34 spins the other way yeah you gotta go the other way stupid yo bro they got they're already you don't think
Starting point is 00:47:41 they got nukes in Chinatown they've been colonizing us for years Al I've been trying to tell you I've been getting Al thinks they got nukes in Chinatown They've been colonizing us For years Al I've been trying to tell you I forget Al thinks they got
Starting point is 00:47:48 Sleeper cells in Chinatown Of course they do Yeah Also if anybody's listening to this Please do not You know Do any acts of violence On Asian Americans
Starting point is 00:47:55 No do not Absolutely It's jokes Jesus Christ It's just jokes We're joking around Now Chinese Chinese people Like from China
Starting point is 00:48:01 It is what it is Yeah Now in China If they try to anal swab you Slap that motherfucker In his mouth Chinese people, like from China. It is what it is. In China? If they try to anal swab you, slap that motherfucker in his mouth. On my behalf. Here's the thing. In defense of all this stuff going on, it wasn't even Asian people. You want to know what the truth is of how Corona got here?
Starting point is 00:48:14 What is the truth? The fitness industry. Interesting. Pushing back against the pharmaceutical industry. You would say that after gaining 40 pounds. I did. I took it off and put it right back on. Fuck losing weight.
Starting point is 00:48:26 That's what it is. The fitness industry fitness industry right that's why your voice changed the pharmaceutical suffocating the pharmaceutical industry check this out pharmaceutical industry has been backing proud fat celebs surreptitiously in order for everyone to have like heart disease problems so they can sell cardiovascular medication and this is the fitness industry's i have a question pushback before you move on corona do you know a surreptitious lehman yeah you do secretly okay i mean his dad's he's south asian of course he knows the fucking word that's a doctor some shit do you like that being called south asian it's actually technical i don't i don't notice it but i don't it's a lot bro i
Starting point is 00:49:04 thought it was asian yeah i don't like that i don't like that at all dude oh you think i'm being associated with do you prefer you prefer sandy i am with china huh you prefer sandra d yeah what is sandra d so he's from a part of the world where there's a lot of sand is there a lot of sand in india no but it's what we i'm just a hyena's term, so we don't have to know it anymore. Sandra did. You know what I mean? We can bury that shit. Like I did your fucking podcast. I really won. Welcome back, bro.
Starting point is 00:49:39 See, you don't get this on long days. You won. You need this, bro. You missed this a little bit. You and Jesse in a room together, you just spouting off. I love it. You need this, bro. You missed this a little bit. You and Jesse in a room together. You just spouting off. I love it. You need this, too.
Starting point is 00:49:48 I like this, too. It's a balance. You can do long days, but you also need this. I love this. So come to Miami, pussy. Leave your family. I will fucking move here. Leave your family.
Starting point is 00:49:56 This is the city you do that. Let's go. This is the city you do that. Are you committing? Are you staying here? I'm committed to it. Okay. I'm leaving you, babe.
Starting point is 00:50:04 I'm joining Schultz's flagrant army. Let's go. Let's do it. Wait a minute. I didn committed to it. I'm leaving you, babe. I'm joining Schultz's flagrant army. Let's go. Wait a minute. I didn't say join. I remember you texting me one day. You were like, I think I'm moving to Austin, bro. He told me that today. Are you moving to Austin?
Starting point is 00:50:20 No, we're not doing that. Why not? Getting a little hacky. Yeah, but... That's a good point. There's a lot of people moving to Austin, bro. What is this?
Starting point is 00:50:31 You're not open, Micah. No. You don't need to go to Austin. You come down here to Miami with your people. Swing that fat Greek dick around. Well, you know... Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Yeah. That's all you need is confidence. Then you got to move anywhere. There's Greekness too. No, dude. The secret... I mean, you know okay yeah that's all you need is compromise you gotta move anywhere i mean that you know the statues all you need to know about greek penises is in the statue what is that what is that i mean they're just barely making it barely peeking over the balls really have you been to a museum no yes you have you seen it yeah i have seen that but what i thought that was is uh there was like penis envy
Starting point is 00:51:05 After the Greeks Discovered black people No it's just Greeks just don't have big pieces We're showers No but historically There's like some guy That they said that
Starting point is 00:51:13 Big dicks were barbaric So that they started carving The small dicks Into the statues And they were just really jealous Of the black dicks That they started to see That's possible
Starting point is 00:51:21 No it's 100% serious Because they weren't always small If you look at the statues from way back before, there were some decent sized dicks. I mean, that's possible. But then the little dick guys who always are the ones in charge because obviously small dude, little dick overcompensate. You get in power and if you were in power,
Starting point is 00:51:35 what would you do? You'd say, this is the most beautiful dick. Move to Miami and keep my operation going. That's what I'm saying. Did I just agree to having a small dick? Damn! Damn! Is that why I crossed my legs like this, guys? Because you can. Shit.
Starting point is 00:51:51 You know what I mean? You tricked me. I like it because I sit like that too. That was mean. And it does mean you got a small dick. And I love when the head just kind of peeks out between the legs just like that because it's nice and cozy in there.
Starting point is 00:52:00 Yeah, I keep the balls below and the head up top. So you got to separate them with the legs. You got to do it. Yeah, it's like a sailboat. I have a ton. My penis looks small. It looks like chewing gum in a Jufro. When it's limp, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:14 It just kind of looks like that. Oh my God. Oh my God. I look like an amputee. You know like when a soldier loses an arm and he's got like a nub? My dick looks like a nub. That little skin hanging off the end. It looks like a bomb blew off my dick.
Starting point is 00:52:33 That's why you want to go to China, you sellout motherfucker. Fit in. I want to fit in. Oh, finally. It works out, doesn't it? Yes. We get to the bottom of it.
Starting point is 00:52:42 Yes. Jesus Christ. Yes. That is a big bullet. Makes Akash look even smaller. You gotta put a tiny bullet there. You're gonna take that from this little dick motherfucker? He just admitted his dick's little. You can't say nothing back.
Starting point is 00:53:00 I already almost killed the guy. I won. I broke his podcast. That is true. You took everything from him. I really did. You did. I won. I broke his podcast. That is true. You took everything from him. I really did. You did. You did. I had him bunkered up in his fucking studio, quarantined for two weeks,
Starting point is 00:53:12 blaming me for shit. He was losing. I won. It's over. He did win. He did win. But I'm back. I'm alive.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Are you moving your family to Austin too? Yeah. No, you're not. Yeah. Unless you tell me not to do it, just tell me not to do it. Yeah, we're going to do six months here,
Starting point is 00:53:27 six months back home. All right, I'm staying in New York. That's it. That's it. This is no brainer, Giannis. This is just done. But Giannis. Nah, but Austin's a great place
Starting point is 00:53:34 to raise a family. Texas is a great place to raise a family. That's what Akash was saying. New York, man, what are you doing? Fucking cold for no reason. Damn, bro. Akash does not want you
Starting point is 00:53:42 around me, bro. I love... Akash does not want you to do bro i love i gotta do anything you can i just look you got in miami you guys a different studio and i'm kidding you guys got a similar dynamic to me and chris had and that's why it works so good it's like you're real nice like before you're going like that's a great way and you're like going fuck you you ain't moving you know it's kind of like yin and yang. You painted yourself as a nice one. I'm the dick.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Okay. I was saying Chris is the nice one. I'm the dick. Cause I was going to, but at least you know what I'm thinking. Yeah. Yeah. At least you always know what I'm thinking.
Starting point is 00:54:13 But not for real. Why would you go to, why would you go to Austin? Um, I like what Joe's doing there. And I just want to be around Joe. Besides the fact that it's about to be the epicenter of comedy. Outside of that.
Starting point is 00:54:22 That's the reason. What would be the reason to go? That's the reason. Just besides the fact that they're literally to be the epicenter of comedy. Outside of that. That's the reason. What would be the reason to go? That's the reason, yeah. Just besides the fact that they're literally rebuilding the LA comedy scene in Austin without the bullshit that is LA. Right. Besides that awesome thing, why else would you go there? Because the barbecue's good.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Yeah. Barbecue's good. I love country music. Whoa. Yeah. No, no. Country music slaps. Don't talk shit about country music, bro. I don't like country music. Whoa, whoa. Why? Name love country music. Whoa. Yeah. No, no. Country music slaps. Don't talk shit about country music, bro.
Starting point is 00:54:47 I don't like country music. Whoa, whoa. Why? Name one country singer. Because it stinks. Name a country singer. Because. You can't name one.
Starting point is 00:54:51 Yes, I can. Name one. Dolly Parton. You can tell me Dolly Parton don't slap. Nine to five. Come on, son. One of the greatest songwriting bitches of all time. Luke Bryant, bro.
Starting point is 00:55:03 Luke Bryant. Luke got some bangers, bro. Luke got some bangers, bro. Luke got some bangers, bro. He's fine. Everybody always says that that's a New York hot take, like country music's stupid, and then nobody in New York
Starting point is 00:55:11 got country music. Every young person who wants to seem like cool and cultured is like, I like every music except country. So go ahead. Country slaps, y'all.
Starting point is 00:55:17 Country slaps. So blare off a verse. Go. Blare off a verse. Wake up in teardrops. They fall down like rain. I don't know the rest of the words. What is that? Yeah, you know, three words. Rascal flats. Rascal Flats. Wake up in teardrops. They fall down like rain. I don't know the rest of the words. Who is that?
Starting point is 00:55:26 Yeah, you know three words. Rascal Flats. Rascal Flats. Bro. Ah, but you only know three words. What hurts the most is we were so close. But feeling so far away. Far away.
Starting point is 00:55:42 Something, something, something. Something, something, something. something, something, something. Now I ask you to do fucking KRS- If I ask you to do a Boogie Down production song
Starting point is 00:55:49 from 1991, you'd know every fucking word. Not a single word. Not a single word. It'd be my favorite, but it could still slap. Not a single word.
Starting point is 00:55:54 But R&B, you'll know every word to usher. Yeah. It don't have to be my favorite, but it could still slap. These are my confessions.
Starting point is 00:56:00 The country's just fucking white R&B. It's no different. Yeah, that's why it's trash. So R&B's trash? No, that was a good point what he just did. But he said white R&B. It's no different. Yeah, that's why it's trash. So R&B's trash? No, that was a good point what he just did. But he said white R&B is trash.
Starting point is 00:56:08 Yeah. Nah, white R&B is fire. That's a good point, but... You only have a few standouts. You guys have a few standouts. Son, white people started R&B. The entirety of it is just like...
Starting point is 00:56:17 White people started R&B? Yes, son. The fuck? Nah, that's a funnier take. I'm with that one. What the fuck? He got me. Prove it, please.
Starting point is 00:56:24 I'm excited. White people started R&B? I'm so excited. That's like saying I'm. I'm with that one. What? He got me? Prove it, please. I'm excited. White people started R&B? I'm so excited. That's like saying I'm responsible for the history hyenas breaking up. That's how wrong that is. Weisheng Ji. Weisheng Ji. White people started R&B, bro.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Who, bro? What does R&B stand for? Rhythmic black. Wait, what? Oh, you said Rhythmic Blackb stand for rhythm in black wait what oh you said red black wait wait wait wait are you allowed to say what are y'all talking about what were you guys just i was i thought i was going with rhythm and blues oh rhythm and blues yes oh yeah that's a black thing yeah that's 100 a black thing they figured that shit out first but white people got it back elvis took it yeah elvis bought, did Elvis not come through in the clutch? I mean, some of the country got blues, y'all still
Starting point is 00:57:07 kind of figuring out rhythm. Nah, have you seen line dancing, bro? They had to make lines for us. Just stay on these lines, you'll figure that shit out. And if everybody in the place is doing the exact same dance, maybe you'll get it right.
Starting point is 00:57:24 That's all line dancing is is if you left white people up to their own devices the shit was gonna get bad real quick it turned into a mosh pit so they were like all right all of us are gonna do this shit at the same time two-stepping literally two steps one two slide Everybody's doing it. Gotta be coordinated. That's the whole thing. It's kind of blessed, bro. Miami's a good town to watch, like, just the disparity in dancing talent between Latins and whites. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Whites fuck up the entire, you put one white guy on the dance floor in Miami, starts stepping on people's feet, doing numbers in his head, like, there's some Latin woman who's trying to, like, sympathetically teach him. Like, no, just move like this and turn, and they just don't get it. I remember I was here and I just couldn't get i was like one two three four turn one two three four well maybe right back down here dog have you bought a place
Starting point is 00:58:13 in austin yet no so there's you're not really moving austin well since you told me not to i'm not i'm i'm taking it back you're coming down here this We're East Coast boys. Bro, I don't know if I could come down here and get fucking Corona again like Marky Gagnon. I'm not going to lie, bro. Why did you spread this rumor, bro? You're the honest of me. Why are you doing this? Yeah, Mark got it twice. You're texting Joe Rogan.
Starting point is 00:58:37 You wouldn't believe it. Yeah, what the fuck, Schultz? I spread that rumor around 20 times. You put it on Instagram, too. At least mine was a private tax you yawning did you test positive for corona more than one time i tested negative more often i hate him bro i fucking hate this kid so you got the miami strand that's like mixed in and mixed in with like ricky martin's ass fumes i gotta get animal swab to make sure i think that shit got him yo
Starting point is 00:59:03 still can't smell yeah i, I can't smell. No smell, no taste, nothing. But bro, if you get it the second time, because when Mark got it the second time, it was bad. I'm still early. I'm on day seven. So once I'm- What does that mean, day seven?
Starting point is 00:59:14 I still got 14. What? Oh, you're seven days after being clear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a negative test now. Wait, so it was bad the second time? Wait, yes. But the first time, I think I got a false positive.
Starting point is 00:59:25 Right. You might have had the other strain, too. You might have had that more. That first strain was pussy. Yo, I'm saying if you get caught up, bro. Yeah, bro. On a round two. Oh, my goodness.
Starting point is 00:59:36 I'm going to call Dove. We're doing everything we can for you. Where are you? Where are you? Okay, I'm trying to send one up there right now. They wouldn't go to you, bro. No, it wouldn't go. We tried.
Starting point is 00:59:47 I know. We tried. Yeah, if I get a second one, I think my antibodies are strong. Yeah, you're not going to get a second one. Yeah, Greeks don't go down. We keep coming. Do you? Yeah, we keep coming.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Do you? Yeah. Yeah, we are the- Y'all really rebuilt that empire. No, yeah. We're kind of like- You really did it. Yeah, we're the Al Bundy of countries, kind of.
Starting point is 01:00:05 That's so great. You're one of like he did it yeah we're the al bundy of countries kind of you're never married to children al bundy just relived his high school days in one game which is the most like kind of regular ass that era high school player championship game no i have four touchdowns in one game he never said this all the line was always four touchdowns in one game we're always just this. All the line was always four touchdowns in one game. Yeah. We're always just like talking about the glory days and now we're selling shoes. So that's. No, I think it was
Starting point is 01:00:29 the championship game. Maybe. Because do you remember the episode where his daughter goes on Jeopardy? Yes. And remember, like if she gets one new piece of
Starting point is 01:00:37 information, the old. Yeah. And the last question of Jeopardy is who is the person that scored four touchdowns in one game? Yeah. In the final high school football game, whatever.
Starting point is 01:00:46 Kelly Bundy was a boy. Lopped off her tits, though. She got lopped off tits now. Had to. Yeah, lopped them off. Lopped. Yeah, she didn't volunteer them off, but she had to. And yo, her brother had some bars, though.
Starting point is 01:00:59 What? Remember? He was a rapper? No, no, no. Oh, Faustino? David Faustino? No, I didn't know. Yeah, he was a rapper.
Starting point is 01:01:04 I did not know so was the kid from 90210 oh david david green yeah david parker green i don't know but i know that he was cracking out megan fox and that is uh that's a good that's a good take that is a good yeah that's a good take down that is a commendable take down okay um um let's talk about a couple things, my friends. Stimulus. Are we going to get our money or what? You're not concerned. I'm not going to get any of it. You mean like we like us?
Starting point is 01:01:33 I mean we like us. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I hope I get mine. You're not going to get any money. I need that money. Do you? I need to buy diapers.
Starting point is 01:01:41 Stop. You got a couple of ducats, bro. I saved up. You got a couple of ducats, bro. I saved up. I saved up. You got a couple of ducats. I got enough to maybe last me a year or two. If you're thinking about- Did you know you would fuck up History Hyenas a year in advance and start saving?
Starting point is 01:01:54 Bro, I saved every dollar from that wig and Miami knows what I'm talking about because she was big down here, bro. Every show I did, bro. Like Sergio used to say, yo, look out for that wig. A lot of us eat off that wig so really yeah I throw that
Starting point is 01:02:07 I'm about to throw that wig back on move down to Miami and just live as Marika you were killing it down here at that time yeah they loved her down here it was huge down here
Starting point is 01:02:15 Cubans loved her Cuba it was like New York and Miami were the two spots yeah and we come down here and blow it out it was a lot of fun
Starting point is 01:02:21 do you think that could go viral now no way it's a hate crime now yeah there's actually a warning on I had to drop my whole youtube page and start a new one there's a warning on it now really there's a warning on it why language uh offensive content yeah you know the irony is it's like beloved the the fans of it are all hispanic and gay
Starting point is 01:02:40 yeah and black it was all hispanic black white people being offended on behalf of a community that loves it yeah i mean they do it at drag shows like she's like a legend in the drag community yeah they'll do it all the time play the audio and then the drag queens will act out what you're saying yeah i mean it was like there wasn't probably a puerto rican in new york that didn't know that didn't know that yeah it was crazy at a time and i did those shows no shows were all black and puerto rican and then what happened why did why did it stop i milked the shit out of it for years went too far i just did it as much as you can do it did you end up doing a show and then like there just weren't that many people there yeah what what was that like it's you just know i always knew that
Starting point is 01:03:20 because it happened to me when i was in my 30s so it wasn't like i just knew you knew that there had a certain amount of miles on it and you were going to run through it. Yeah. Okay. And okay. So then what happened? What was the show? When did you start to realize, okay, we've reached the end? Me and Angelo, God rest his soul. RIP, man. Yeah. RIP Angelo Lozada. You know, we did those shows together for so long. I mean,
Starting point is 01:03:38 when I'm on my deathbed, I'll think about some of those shows like we did in Miami down here. Did you? Room would shake and it was fucking brutal. Did you think about them when I put you on your deathbed when you were on your deathbed is that what you were thinking about it yeah i was going angelo i'm coming i'll see you soon i heard him going yeah come on pop you know so uh yeah it was just it was uh and then we i remember um i remember there's a couple funny stories well i'll just tell this one quick because it's real funny in chicago it was all panos fans i used to do the show and i would do both characters yeah it was all greek but we didn't know i explained
Starting point is 01:04:14 to them real quick sure okay so panos is as uh yannis's greek character it's similar to marisa which probably you guys are familiar with in that you just dive in completely to that character and you're making social commentary through that character's voice yeah greek guy like typical diner owner looking greek guy mustache etc yeah and then marisa for anybody doesn't know is that where the term das it was popular yeah everybody just started saying that part of the fucking vernacular rigorous yeah and it was just amazing hilarious character they did it just fucking exploded on youtube and like took new york by storm i'm sure it took other parts of the country by storm as well so you were doing both of them together yeah which in a lot of ways makes no fucking sense no but i wanted to do it yeah
Starting point is 01:04:56 but it was stupid okay go yeah but you're right because it would put two groups of people that would never be in the same room together and each group didn't know the other character so it was like one one half of the crowd's going what the fuck is this and when you're doing an ethnically themed show yeah they don't want to hear anything about anything that isn't them no you're absolutely do you know like if it's the indian show they want to hear indian shit yeah i don't want to hear about china don't pontificate about what's happening in the house or the senate just tell us about us yeah exactly right so okay you're in there now you have these two groups they could give a flying fuck
Starting point is 01:05:30 the trainees that are loving marisa could give a flying fuck about greek shit right and the greeks give a flying fuck about the training right okay and that was what made it so magical when it did work but when it didn't work it was like hilarious so chicago we had no idea. Panos would go first because he didn't kill as hard as she would. And she would go and then I would close as me, right? So we did Panos first in Chicago improv, murdered, right? Murdered. And we were going like, I was looking at Angela going like, I think we finally figured this shit out.
Starting point is 01:05:58 Because he didn't always do that great. And I'm like, we finally figured it out. And then I go back, I change it to Marisa and we play the song and he goes big angela always goes you guys ready to see the queen and it just echoed off the ceiling just when you ready to see the queen queen queen no noise usually you'd hear girls fucking going nuts screaming screeching nothing so i just walk out there in uh the chicago improv which is big it's cavernous right yeah and And it was packed, but it was just like, the song was just reverberating in silence. Like it was just a room full of Greeks going, what the fuck is this?
Starting point is 01:06:31 And I'm prancing around the stage going, what's going on my people? And then you just hear nothing. And I just look out into the crowd. I just see Greek yaya's, old women, children, just Greeks. We went up, I did more reset. It ate dick for like seven minutes to the point where I just moved the mic. And I said, Angela, let's just wrap it up. And then he went, all right, that's just Greeks. We went up. I did more reset. It ate dick for like seven minutes to the point where I just moved the mic and I said, Angela, let's just wrap it up.
Starting point is 01:06:47 And then he went, all right, that's just it. And I just walked out. There wasn't even a clap. It was just a room full of confused people going, what the fuck was that? It was like, it was almost like a hate crime that they just watched because they were Greek. Yeah, they had no idea. Then you split them up. No, then we kept doing it.
Starting point is 01:07:03 Yeah, we kept doing it. My first thought is You're already You're dividing your money in half You could just sell out One show as Panos One show as Mauricio The funny thing is When people would come after
Starting point is 01:07:12 They would just be like Yo you all three people Like cause sometimes You get some real Doggy dudes They didn't even know They'd be like Yo you fucker
Starting point is 01:07:18 As a New Yorker growing up I didn't know You didn't know Yeah Cause you would do Stand up as yourself First Yeah
Starting point is 01:07:23 Okay Yeah Yeah So then when Mauricio died It was just me and Angelo In Phoenix So wait why did Mauricio die You know? Yeah. Because you would do stand-up as yourself first. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So then when Marisa died, it was just me and Angelo in Phoenix. Wait, why did Marisa die? That's what I'm trying to say. I think so many people came and saw it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:32 That it just kind of. So what was the show that let you know, okay, this is done? Phoenix. So you went to do Phoenix. Yeah. And then just people didn't come out? It was like 50 people. Really?
Starting point is 01:07:42 In a big room. That was stand-up live. Yeah, that's huge live the thing about a character is you i once i see the character we know character comics were hilarious once then you see him again you're like i get it now yeah so you're not watching them twice a guy with a point of view you me hopefully chappelle whoever these guys are point of view comics i want to hear what you have to say about everything well i'll watch you come. But that's the thing that I always liked about the videos, because I thought it was like your sneaky way of like getting your opinions off through the character.
Starting point is 01:08:11 It is. Right? So like, I was like, oh, this has legs. You can just keep on doing this. It had a good run. 10 years. I mean, you know, think about it. It was 10 years ago.
Starting point is 01:08:17 Bro, but here's the thing. Phoenix might be a different type of Latinos. They might, that's Mexicans. They're not fucking with a Cuban or a Puerto Rican or whatever. So I don't know if that's an indictment on a character dying. That was the beginning. In the raw. That was the beginning.
Starting point is 01:08:31 Then we came back to New York and the numbers just died down. It kind of died down. There was still hardcore fans. Then I started doing her podcast and then it kind of came back up. But then you need to keep feeding the character. You also didn't keep irrelevant on that. Yeah. You didn't keep feeding.
Starting point is 01:08:42 I'm going to keep doing them all. But like, yeah, it's like, it's just all going be brought together like i'm just gonna bring them all together on long days with yannis pappas yeah yeah yeah i'm gonna bring it on that was a clean plug right yeah yeah clean plug yeah yeah no i didn't see it as a plug yeah you know what you need yannis if you like yanni long days you'll love history hyenas if you guys want to check it's a classic and it's up forever.
Starting point is 01:09:05 You can check it out. And our Patreon's still up. Our final episode is on our Patreon. You need a fucking, like a scooter brawn. But like, not as successful as Scooter yet. Scooter. Scooter's like Justin Bieber's man, Ariana Grande's man, like literally every successful, what's her name? Guy changed the fucking world.
Starting point is 01:09:22 Yeah. He got the Netflix special made. He executive produced the Netflix special. Oh. And shouts to Justin for putting me on to them and all these things. But he's just really smart about the industry, but doesn't care about being in front of the camera. He doesn't want that.
Starting point is 01:09:38 He likes being that role. That's refreshing. And you have all these fucking great ideas, and then some shitty ones like all of us but you throw it all at the wall you throw everything at the wall and then if something sticks you roll with it for a little bit but if you had a guy who was just like hey hey this is actually good can we just focus on this don't throw this at the wall we'll make this work i think it could be really beneficial i I rarely say people need managers. You don't need anything.
Starting point is 01:10:06 Right. But the right guy that was just working on the business side so you could just be on the creative, I think could take things far away for you. That would be a relief. That's a dream to have someone just like the right guy. But no one's right. Yeah. That's the thing.
Starting point is 01:10:20 There are very few of these people. Yeah, very few. But if you get the right person, I think it could really work. You always, yeah. And then you find out about their other dreams when you're doing their manager. Like, yeah, you know, but I want to, you know, I sell this on the, you're going like,
Starting point is 01:10:31 like I did comedy for four years. You're like, all right, I can't finish. You don't like when motherfuckers got other interests. Yeah, no, you can't have other interests. Focus on me and my thing. That's it, Chris. Yeah. I love Chris D. All love. All love. All love. We got to love Chrissy D.
Starting point is 01:10:45 All love. All love. All love. We got to get Chrissy back out here. Huh? You can't be that needy. Who, me? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:52 I mean, we're comics. We're all needy. Yeah, but you got to know when to be needy and when to not. You know what I mean? When there's money involved, that's my need. It's filled. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:11:02 Al, Mark, can we do some facts No feelings please Feelings no facts Feelings no facts I be getting it Backward all the time Fuck Feelings no facts Yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:11:11 You want to just take us Through a few of these Topicos I like that Topicos Yeah We're out here man But start at the list
Starting point is 01:11:18 That we have there Yeah Okay Perfect Alright so Did you finish The stimulus situation Oh yeah We didn't even talk About that So did you finish the stimulus situation? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:25 We didn't even talk about that. So did you guys hear about the $15 minimum wage thing being killed? Yeah. By Democrats? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Like two Democrat, I guess, congressmen were the ones that said, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:11:38 Why? Yo, that shit is a big jump, bro. Like, I want people to make $15 an hour, but it's high. Yeah. Like, it's, what is it, seven and a quarter now? To 15? Yeah, but it's gradual. It's not going to happen overnight. But still, it feels
Starting point is 01:11:57 like it is. How many nights is it going to happen over? I feel that. How many nights is it going to happen over? A lot of people live in poverty. No, no, no. See, now you're making me be the bad guy. I'm just, no. See, now you're making me be the bad guy. I'm just telling you what it is. You're making me be the bad guy. You were the bad guy the longest.
Starting point is 01:12:09 Once you started talking about your Porsche, it was like, all right. I don't know how he's going to make that funny. It's a fake Porsche. Guys, my Porsche didn't start this morning. It's a fake Porsche. But you can afford a real one. That's right. Chrissy, I see you coming for that corporate money too, baby.
Starting point is 01:12:26 Let's get some Porsches. Leave these bus pass bitches behind. No, no, for real though. Let's get fake cars, all of us. But wait, what the fuck were we just saying? Oh, yeah, yeah. The reason it's a, what's it called? $15 an hour
Starting point is 01:12:45 It just seems You don't think it seems high Like just don't go Eventually Just go Yeah let's break to 10 And then in a few years Then you break to 12
Starting point is 01:12:52 But it happens so slow dog Like $7 an hour Was mad long ago No no You're 100% right I'm just saying How you get people to digest it If your girl said
Starting point is 01:12:59 Yo we gotta start having sex Twice as much a week Than we usually do Oh shit Dang Four times a month Let's go Four times That's a crazy thing yo, we got to start having sex twice as much a week than we usually do. Oh, shit. Dang! Four times a month? Let's go! Four times!
Starting point is 01:13:07 That's the crazy thing. Now, I'm being dead ass. If my girl's like, we got to do double. And then she's like, we can work towards it. And I'm like, well, why don't you just say that? Don't say we have to do double and then backwards explain it into some bullshit. Double is always a lot. But I mean, that's...
Starting point is 01:13:23 If you came and asked me for a raised double, I'll give you an out laugh. Let's work towards it. That's what I tell you. I'm saying we're going to work towards it decades from now. So just start
Starting point is 01:13:36 at the work towards. What they do is they save $15 an hour because they know it's going to gain public support. It's freaky. It's a fucking lie.
Starting point is 01:13:44 So these politicians, they lie to you with the shit that you want to hear. Right? So you can get it passed. But it's going to gain public support. It's freaky. It's a fucking lie. So these politicians, they lie to you with the shit that you want to hear. Right? So you can get it passed. But it's bullshit. But we know Dems are bad at marketing and branding. Or they're brilliant. They're brilliant.
Starting point is 01:13:54 They just say what you want to hear. Give everybody $1,000. Now this motherfucker is going to be mayor. He ain't giving me nothing. There you go. So it's bullshit. $15 an hour. Yeah, Amazon can afford it.
Starting point is 01:14:04 But I don't know if every spot can afford it. Yeah. I don't, it's a bad time for a $15 minimum wage because like employers are struggling. You tell some guy who's got a small business, he's got to pay $15. He's going like, I don't have $15. I'm at 25% capacity in the restaurant. Right. I'm at 25% capacity and now I got to double my salary? That's crazy. My fear is if you pass a $15 minimum wage, it's already happening, but that'll just incentivize big companies to get rid of employees even faster and automate everything even quicker. Not only does it incentivize big companies to get rid of employees, who does it benefit? Which companies can afford $15 minimum wage? Walmart, that's about it. Walmart, Amazon, the big companies, who can't? Mom and pops. $15 minimum wage doesn't help the small businesses. It just helps the big
Starting point is 01:14:51 business. It turns America into five different stores. So I want people to make $15 an hour. I hope mom and pop shops are so, I felt they're flourishing so much that they feel like they can afford to pay their employees $15. But to mandate it might put them in a position where a lot of people go out of business it's unrealistic it's just unrealistic at in the context that now which is which is something that is double bro the progress yeah give me one thing that you're okay with double somebody wanting double from you yeah go double Go, double. I want double. I can't tell if you're doing your fake Hindi right now and you're saying double, double, or what's happening? I wasn't, but that's really funny
Starting point is 01:15:30 that that's what it sounded like. No, I'm just saying, if somebody asks you for double anything, doesn't that seem excessive? It's excessive, especially during this time where everyone's making half. Even if they deserve it. If your girl wants double the nights a week
Starting point is 01:15:44 that she gets to spend time with you, Yeah. That sounds a lot. Double? Yeah. That's a lot. Yeah. Double, bro. Yes. Yes. You don't think that's crazy? It's a lot, dude. I'm in my forties. Trust me. I want to jerk off two times. I can't. It's a lot. You can only go once. I got one and that's me doing it. And I know how to do do it the first class ticket is double the extra leg room ticket right are you paying for that no because it's double yeah if it was 25 more man we could do that it's a great point yeah i'm just saying doubles excessive yeah what you laughing at over there al it's just your ability to not relate with the normal well he's a flat first class he's an employer so he's going oh the normal people. Well, he's a first class.
Starting point is 01:16:25 He's an employer. So he's going, yo, let's slow this shit down. Let's cut the soft work. It's out of hand. You got to cut the snake off at the head. I'm trying to relate to people because they would never pay double for the first class ticket, but they pay 25% more. You would pay 25% more.
Starting point is 01:16:42 I've seen you go up to the fucking woman at the desk at delta yeah how much of it upgrade for free 50 now you'd be like how much for the upgrade 50 okay 50 i could do it 100 i could do it 250 maybe you could do it and then it gets to a number where you can't yeah maybe they should do minimum wage just for like corporations i this is my suggestion yo guys i'm pretty sure it it depends on how many employees work at the company. So it's not going to affect small business. Mark, is this a fact? I can't confirm it or not.
Starting point is 01:17:09 Nah, he's right. So there's different levels for... So it's not going to hurt mom and pop. Yeah, but I don't like the way they're framing it because they're framing it in a way where nobody's going to support it. Because if you think about this... But then why would the Democrats kill it? It's Democrats that killed it.
Starting point is 01:17:23 But here's the thing, because they're all frauds. And we'll get to that in a second. But don't people already largely support it, though? Of course. Why wouldn't you? Most people get paid, so why wouldn't you want to get paid more? Right. My point is, a senator is going to have to do
Starting point is 01:17:36 what his supporters want him to do. Right? He's going to have to. Right. No matter what. That's just his job. It's not what he feels. It's what the people who vote for him feel.
Starting point is 01:17:47 So now you're putting them in a position where they're going to have to. Right. No matter what. That's just his job. It's not what he feels. It's what the people who vote for him feel. Right. So now you're putting them in a position where they're going to have to veto something that they wouldn't have to if it was framed differently. If the bill was, hey, this is just for Amazon. This is just for Walmart and mom and pops, you don't have to. And if you have under 10 employees, it will only go up to $8. If that was the bill, then maybe those two congressmen that ended up vetoing it or ended up saying no, maybe they would be able to because their supporters would go, okay, I like this. But the fact that it's $15 minimum wage, the mom and pop shops that are voting for those congressmen are like, I will never vote for you again if you make me pay my employees double
Starting point is 01:18:15 because they don't even know it's not double. Their restaurant's not even open right now. It's closed. And I got to pay double. And I got to pay double? It doesn't even make sense. Come on, bro. I mean, you know, I'm fucking, you know, Cuomo's got a fucking rape case.
Starting point is 01:18:29 Yo, that Cuomo shit? Yeah. Let's talk about that Cuomo shit. All I got to say is cases are going up in New York City. I love that tweet. I love that. That was a great tweet. What?
Starting point is 01:18:38 Low key? Those some lying ass bitches, bro. You think so? Lying ass bitches. It's convenient timing, isn't it? No, I just, I don't trust. No, no, bitches, bro. You think so? Lying ass bitches. It's convenient timing, ain't it? No, I just, I don't trust. No, no, no, no. It's convenient ass timing that the second Cuomo stock starts to drop, that these aides
Starting point is 01:18:53 whose career is tied to Cuomo's success, whose political career is tied to success are like, oh, I got to get out of this shit before it sinks. That guy said dirty words to me. I would agree with you. He didn't touch nobody, right? No, but he wore,
Starting point is 01:19:07 he wears nipple rings. I don't trust anyone who wears nipple rings. He's a chimp. Yeah. But, and he's a sexual deviant. Sure. Right.
Starting point is 01:19:15 Maybe, but that doesn't mean he's a fucking rapist. Probably. Maybe he said, I don't know the fact. Yo, maybe he said some crazy shit to them. What I don't understand is why didn't we hear about this earlier?
Starting point is 01:19:24 Why is this just popping up now?'s always it always like when he was captain corona and he was about to be the next president all those aides were like i'll deal with some flirty talk because i'm gonna get a position but don't get a position in the government and the second that motherfucker's getting feasted on by the media vultures immediately what happens immediately right oh yeah he said some inappropriate shit to me i need to get out devil's advocate please go maybe when he's everybody's beloved what the fuck is he governor yeah i don't know don't matter ruin the greatest city in the west yeah yeah ruin the greatest city in his sucks but maybe at that time when everybody's praising him you're like man everybody loves this guy
Starting point is 01:19:58 nobody's gonna believe me i can't fucking go at this guy and then when you see him be vulnerable you're like oh now people might understand this guy but usually a phony piece of shit all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because some of you guys have uh nagging chronic pain and you shouldn't have to live like that and if you're in your 30s you got nagging pain you got all the time so here's the reality omax health has this amazing product okay and it's called cryo freeze all right it is a roll-on it's developed by omax they have this new sport formulation includes a deeply penetrating a potent punch of 8.5 percent of fda approved menthol levels to instantly ice out and block pain receptors reduce inflammation and improve muscle and joint flexibility basically it makes you stop feeling like shit and the best
Starting point is 01:20:43 part it's natural. Oh, 100% natural. 100% natural. So you're not putting all these like goofy chemicals in your body that could be doing long-term damage. You have natural things that are easing your pain and making you live an enjoyable life. This is a no-brainer, all right? You have to do it.
Starting point is 01:21:01 If you have nagging chronic pain, you must try it. Again, no- OMAX Health is offering our listeners 20 percent off a full bottle of cryo free sport pain relief roll on. This discount also applies towards any product site wide. Just go to OMAXHealth.com today and enter the promo code flagrant. That's OMAXHealth.com. Enter the promo code flagrant. You get 20% off cryo free sport and anything else site wise. I'm telling you, I was boxing back. I torn the fuck up.
Starting point is 01:21:33 I put this on night and day. It is literal night and day. Also, if you have all this pain, you have nothing to lose. Okay. Don't go out there taking oxys and getting a fucking drug addiction and selling your mom's house for pennies to feed it. What you do is you go get this lovely crowd freeze. 100% natural, works in five minutes, lasts up to eight hours. Save your mom's house.
Starting point is 01:21:56 All right, let's get back to the show. Yo, check it. I just see Schultz on a tightrope walk. I'm not related to the average American. So I'm a gang member. I'm a blood. I knew he was in a mood when he started with, I thought R&B. I'm a blood. I knew he was in a mood when he started with, I thought R and B standard for renting blacks.
Starting point is 01:22:10 That's obviously a joke. You bought them. I know. I mean, you own, there was paperwork. This wasn't, this was not an Airbnb.
Starting point is 01:22:23 This was mortgage refinancing. I feel real conflicted about slavery because it's so wrong, but it's also such good deals. What do you mean? If you're like a woke Indian, you'd be like, yo, this is foul,
Starting point is 01:22:36 what they're doing to these black people, but also, what a bargain. Son, we don't know the prices, bro. I can't imagine they were getting fair value. No, it wasn't fair to them. Can I make a point right now? Okay, here we go. Make a point?
Starting point is 01:22:52 Do you think you would have been able to get a Netflix show if your views were like 80,000 saying what we just said? Do you think it's even possible? Or do you think, you know what I'm saying? You've got to be in the millions to be able to do jokes like this i got offered netflix when our numbers are less yeah but i but i said no to it but that was because my stand-up numbers were crazy right so the podcast was different right yeah but yeah you guys need to build up to get you gotta also to do what we did on netflix you need to be right you need to do it your way exactly because we just did it
Starting point is 01:23:25 completely our way, right, right, and shouts to them for supporting that. And if you look at all the history of the shows that have worked, hold on,
Starting point is 01:23:31 we were having a lot of fun talking about slavery. What was it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, good deals. Oh yeah,
Starting point is 01:23:36 the deals, we don't even know the deals. Yo, I had this thought. Let's go back to the deal. No, no, no,
Starting point is 01:23:41 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 01:23:42 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 01:23:43 no, no, Alex loved the change in topic. You guys said, no, no, no, no, no, let's just trying to make out. Alex loved the change in topic. You guys said, no, no, no, no, no. Let's go back. No, this is something I really thought about.
Starting point is 01:23:48 I'll be mistreating black people, yo. There was a black kid at the show yesterday. I wouldn't even talk to him. I wouldn't even offer him a Pepsi. I was just like, I'm offering him a Coca-Cola. He said,
Starting point is 01:23:56 do you want a Coca-Cola to the guy? And I was like, I knew you were a fraud, bro. I said, he was a southern black. It's a regional thing. It's a regional thing.'s a regional you just had a
Starting point is 01:24:06 rough couple decades huh 23 they've had a rough cut since they killed jesus it's been kind of rough whoa yawning that's been a rough that was whoa did they do that for yeah people don't get over that but have they it's like fucking move on dude but let go but let go out huh it worked out it did work out for christians it really worked out like not for jews not for jews yeah as a catholic i'm grateful yeah you have catholicism yes you should worship jews i didn't do it i fucking do it it's a jew his name is jesus come on that's true you know you're right yeah as a whole that's some soft ass shit bro that's like canadians got the English fucking queen on their money. That's the equivalent.
Starting point is 01:24:47 Like Catholics worshiping another religion's guy. Yeah. Nah, dude. You let people on your cross, yo. You need your own guy, bro. But we have God. And you got Virgin Mary. That one, yo.
Starting point is 01:24:57 We got Virgin Mary. She's from the All-Stars. She's not a virgin because Jesus had brothers. I mean, Mary took dick. It's contested. It's contested. It's contested. That's a lawful. We're going to punch you
Starting point is 01:25:07 in the face right now. I mean, Mary took dicks. How do you know that though? Because historically, Jesus had a couple brothers. Nobody cares about them, but he had brothers. What were his brothers' names?
Starting point is 01:25:17 Who knows? What were Martin Luther King's siblings? Nobody knows Martin Luther King's siblings either, but he had them. Yes, we do. What are they? Barry? John?
Starting point is 01:25:23 I think, yeah. If you name a Martin Luther King sibling right now, I will give you the $10 in my wallet. There's Martin Luther King Jr., right? There's Malcolm Luther King Jr. But Barry took dicks. Omar Epps Luther King Jr. Tupac.
Starting point is 01:25:41 Tupac. Omar Johnson Luther King Jr. Omar Johnson. Sean, Luther King Jr. Umar Johnson. Sean White, Luther King Jr. That sucks when your sibling is that famous, you just become like a Google Maps face. Like, you know, when you ever go to Google Maps and people just blurt out?
Starting point is 01:25:58 Yeah. You're just a sibling of. But how do we know for a fact that Jesus had brothers? Because history dogs. But no, no, we don't know for a fact that jesus had brothers because history dogs but no no we don't know for a fact jesus existed that's blasphemy that's blasphemy don't we nah he existed yo you haven't seen the prince bro have you seen the prince i haven't seen prince but i know he existed yeah but you have seen prince i've seen the fucking red corvette i ain't seen it i saw the
Starting point is 01:26:23 footprints when doves cry when doves cry yeah yeah i heard the voice but i maybe that was dave chappelle playing prince i don't know all i'm trying to say is we don't know for a fact jesus existed well you never went through hard times and looked down at the sand and there was only one set of foot yo yo yo yo but here's i have hey i was being carried by Jesus. In a studio in Bushwick. Only one set of footprints, and that's what you walk on the beach. Sean's not been in a nurse.
Starting point is 01:26:52 It's just one set of footsteps. What's going on? Yo, that is a good point. That's why I'm carrying me to the light. If you're alone on the beach, there should be only one set of footprints, fam. Yeah. Why is that weird? Like, nobody's on the beach, and they see one set of footprints, and they're something's wrong here yeah something's up i've been walking alone and i see proof of that yeah
Starting point is 01:27:09 so yeah what like explain that it's supposed to he carries you during hard times so it's time you're walking with him walking with god yeah and then when during tough times what i'm saying is what i'm saying is blasphemy is what you're saying no no no no no i'm the ultimate believer yeah because what is christianity about love forgiveness faith faith and ferraris there might be no proof right that jesus existed but i have faith i don't need proof because i have faith you feel me right you feel me because you out here like all history history history but you got no proof we got no proof that pythagoras even invented triangles yeah triangles could have been invented way before pythagoras you ask israelites they'll tell you
Starting point is 01:28:02 it wasn't they'll be like yo they stole all that shit. They stole all that. Because please believe, the first person to invent a triangle probably figured that out. Yeah. Yeah. Because back then, that's all you had to do. You didn't wake up and check Twitter and Instagram for your mentions. You were looking at your new toy, the triangle. Right.
Starting point is 01:28:20 And you were looking at all those angles. You were analyzing all those angles. And you started to realize, oh, this should look a little more asosceles right that's a good point that's all i'm trying to say is pythagoras was probably the one that had pythagoras yo pythagoras was probably the one that had access to a stone or some shit to write his name in it like he figured it out that's right yeah hello think in my ass right oh shit yeah yeah i always wondered that's a good point because i always wondered like they say alexander the great was in the front was he really he was was he leading his troops in the battle how come he's not dead because you die in the no no he was very good you don't limb back
Starting point is 01:28:57 very good bro that guy was good and that's why he's actually great to be honest with you he's was he bisexual oh yeah You're at war forever. Are you going to split cheeks? I mean, just, it was just. In fact, the fact that he's bisexual probably means he wasn't raping tons of women like those Vikings. No, he did do that too. No, he raped a lot of little boys.
Starting point is 01:29:14 Wait, what? That's what they did. No, women. What in the Woody Allen documentary are you talking about? Greeks fucked little boys. Everybody did. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't normalize you're
Starting point is 01:29:25 normalizing i mean every empire you see it the ottomans did it my grandfather was sent to egypt by his family because they were afraid that a turkish sultan was going to rape him because we were occupied by the ottomans so they were true story yeah they would take the little boys and they would rape them so you guys would rape your own canidos is like a thing that was like the ottomans did a test too i mean what's a your own. Kanaidos was like a thing. The Ottomans did it to us too. What's a Kanaidos? It's like a relationship, like a teacher
Starting point is 01:29:48 and like a little boy and you would fuck them. How do you even know that dog? Yeah. Deadass? They just learned this in college and I don't know why. I never,
Starting point is 01:29:56 what college is that? Liberal Arts School. Yeah. The one thing he remembers from fucking college. This guy literally has no information in his whole head
Starting point is 01:30:04 except for Kanaidos. Because we used to call each other canidos before you ask every guy in our school would just call each other canidos they made you take this class called heritage of western culture and then we studied the greeks that was the one thing we all remember best when like intellectuals give you a new word for maggot yo and then you just that's all we knew yeah look at this yo so you guys are the most famous gays you think like in a way you think that the greeks would appreciate marisa more i think the panel fans they didn't see it they go the other way very uh there's a lot of homophobia because they got to fight back against the rep that's how it is yeah it is you know you go the other way with it you know like that's what cultures do like i think you guys were so gay that now you had to be homophobic to balance out i think that's what
Starting point is 01:30:53 is i think the germans are very friendly over friendly to jews now do you think a little too much well maybe it's a little too much a little too much fake yeah yeah a little fake we know how you really feel oh you think they still harvest i mean i mean where does that come from i know where it comes from i think we all know where it comes where does it come from why they're so nice to jews no no no i'm saying like what they did like where did that come from that came from what do you think i think is jealousy and envy because jews are just killing it oh yeah jews kill it and it's like really poor they're poor as fuck yeah so i mean that's where conspiracy theories always come from people who have no power no leverage it's that's where that's where
Starting point is 01:31:27 conspiracy's got it must be something else it's like now the dude you know yeah he had he used some nepotism to give it to its son but we all do that everybody does it everyone does nepotism cronyism yes of course yeah i think they're just kind of a weird kind of you know they try shit they sack rome they sack rome the germanic tribes they got something in them where they just want to it's just kind of you see it they want to just take shit yeah it's like you know and their food stinks they they pay no attention to artistic stuff pleasurable that's not true their food stinks about germans the way black people talk about all white people are you telling me when you go to a taste they got no rhythm
Starting point is 01:32:03 you go to a four- got no rhythm they don't you go to a you tell me you go to a fucking you go to a four-star german fucking restaurant and they serve you ballpark food you tell me you're walking out and giving a fucking heaven you're gonna you're gonna write a positive a positive fucking review you're gonna say yeah the frankfurt and applesauce was delicious i'll tell you what if they said hey you want to get into that oven or you want to eat this for dinner i'm saying put me in the fucking oven. Serve me a fucking frank and call it a fucking cuisine. Now, maybe they don't have traditional like dinner.
Starting point is 01:32:36 Maybe it's because their ovens are already being used for other things. That's a good point. That is a good point. I didn't think of that. No, but in terms of like ovens were taken. Philosophy in terms of like classical music and stuff there's an undeniable connection between the germans and art that we obviously don't see because of the atrocities of world war ii but germans austrians is the same ethnic people but they tried to be good like the austrians came here hitler was
Starting point is 01:32:59 austrian i know but he was trying to go to germany self-hating he was also a little bit jew i mean isn't it weird that the guy who was advocating for superiority, first of all, it's weird that you're advocating for superiority and that's your cuisine as Frankfurters, but that's a side point. But he was advocating for superiority for guys that look like Marky and he looked like me. Yeah, but wouldn't you believe it even more if the guy who's not you tells you it's the truth?
Starting point is 01:33:21 It's a little hypocritical. It's hypocritical, but if anything, you believe it more. It's like when the waiter says that one of the items on the menu is bad you're like oh i really believe you because this is supposed to be your thing and you're telling me it's not as good as it should be i'm not following that example i learned it at first but he brought it together so like for example like when the waiter you ask a waiter like hey is the steak good and then he goes i'll be honest with you the steak is trash now i trust that waiter right because he's saying my this is whack yeah yeah if an arian says they're the best it's like of course
Starting point is 01:33:49 of course you want to believe that because you're arian but if someone who's not arian goes yo you guys are the best right this is what it is and you're feeling super insecure and broke because we straight bodied them motherfuckers you know bent, bent them over anal swat. You know, we stay given German's anal swat. Yes. Also, my name is Schultz.
Starting point is 01:34:10 That is German as fuck. But I was here before they got bad. Yeah. You don't have, you're Scottish though. My mom's Scottish, dad is Irish and German.
Starting point is 01:34:17 Yeah, you got a little. But like my Irish and German side was in American like 1800s. Right. After that whole thing now. Right, right.
Starting point is 01:34:23 You were one of those like pauper. Yeah. It's like 1880s. It was perfect timing like germans were still like oh those are the smart guys that are philosophers in europe some bad ideas were coming real talk germany peaked like 1910 if the world stops in 1910 people people would literally go those germans were absolutely brilliant right isn't that true they well they made a few comebacks like they're they're the biggest economy in europe now but in our lifetime and future life well they'll never there needs to be at mark and i were talking about this the other day like what did we what did we liken awful things and awful people to prior to Hitler?
Starting point is 01:35:06 Right. There had to be a Hitler before Hitler. And who did you say it was? I think it was Napoleon. It was Napoleon. Yeah, right. Right? Like, literally, you're the Napoleon of in the same way that we would use Hitler.
Starting point is 01:35:15 Right? And they need another Hitler to come out before they don't have that stink on them anymore. Right. That's a good point. Listen, I hope it them anymore right listen i hope it doesn't happen i hope it doesn't happen but nothing can recover from that right without something replacing it right because we'll just continue to use it in common vernacular oh you're a nazi about soup yeah right i think uh he also proved that evil is more powerful than good because he's much more famous than charlie chaplin both had the same mustache it's banned because of him but how come people don't go hey it was a good mustache charlie chaplin had it prolific as hitler yeah that's a good point he didn't put up those
Starting point is 01:35:52 types of numbers he would put up numbers yeah numbers on the board yeah he did amberlin style yo but if it's all about numbers i mean stalin put up better numbers uh we gang is kind we write russia out the history books bro but listen, this was a good history discussion. We're going to pay some bills. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because COVID spring break is coming around. And you know what that means. You got to trim them pubes.
Starting point is 01:36:14 I know you're supposed to stay home, but you know a lot of you are going our way for spring break. I said away weird, but I'm not going to stop it, okay? You're going away. You're probably coming down to Miami. Maybe you're going to other parts of Florida. Maybe you're going to Tulum. Maybe you're staying exactly where you are, but you want your dick and balls to stop it. Okay. You're going away. You're probably coming down to Miami. Maybe you go in other parts of Florida. Maybe you go to Tulum. Maybe you're staying exactly where you are, but you want your dick and balls to look good. And there's one way to make it look good. All right.
Starting point is 01:36:33 Shave it. It's that simple. I was going to say something a little bit more dirty, but let's go with shave it. Shave it down. Manscaped is the only way you're going to shave. It's the only thing I use besides the fact that it's the best equipment. Okay. Yes, it's the best equipment, hands down. Besides the hands down besides facts gonna take care of your dick and balls and make them look beautiful and your girl's gonna appreciate the girl you haven't even met yet is gonna appreciate it's gonna set the tone for all the relationships that you have besides all of that okay it is gonna reduce your dick trimming time by like 95 when i was in there with just a regular razor in the shower shaving away my balls
Starting point is 01:37:05 it's taken forever i have hairy balls i'm getting into some taint action as well when i'm doing this manscape the perfect package 3.0 kit it comes with all the essentials they got the lawnmower 3.0 it's waterproof by the way cordless all right the whole body trimmer is going there they got the liquid formulations everything you possibly need but when i go get that trim going there, it takes so little time. It is so fucking worth it. So this is what I'm telling you guys to do. You are going to go, okay, to manscaped.com slash flagrant, and you're going to get 20% off when you use our promo code. It's manscaped.com slash flagrant, and make sure you get yourself that perfect package 3.0 kit. This is the no-brainer for your balls and dick. You go do that right now and enjoy your spring break.
Starting point is 01:37:48 Now let's get back to the show. All right, we're back. We don't need to get back into that history shit, right? Fuck history. It's over. You know what I mean? History's over. History's over, dude.
Starting point is 01:37:57 History's over. Right now we're making history. Yes. Okay, so let's talk about how everybody got canceled. Even inanimate objects got canceled this week. Yeah. Mr. Potato Head. Finally. Finally. Yes. talk about how everybody got canceled even inanimate objects got canceled this week yeah mr potato head finally finally yes this is one of those things where i'm like are they doing this for the publicity yes yeah they have to be right like all you this is it literally the tranny shit is a button if a company wants publicity for something that is dying right they literally
Starting point is 01:38:22 have no nothing to lose the product either dies or it bumps back into popularity. So it either dies because nobody's buying it anyway, it dies because of the tranny connection and people being really upset about it, or you make tons of money because all of a sudden Mr. Potato Head gets cool. I think it's kind of like TV. It's a last ditch effort to guilt you into getting it yeah it's like tv's going trying to get woke because it's like nobody's watching
Starting point is 01:38:50 tv so they're going like here's the thing we can do let's make people feel like they are morally obligated you know yana said this to me back in the day i thought it was so funny that like a tv is acting like a nightclub that's going out of business. Yeah. Like when nightclubs go out of business, they start going, all right, here's Latin night. Here's gay night. Here's Spanish night. They like tap into these really specific niche groups. And they're like, we're just going to get all the money that we possibly can.
Starting point is 01:39:17 And then we're going to close the fucking doors. Yeah, it's a final cash grab. Yeah. Final cash grab. And you can see the numbers. The numbers are just like. But who's buying Mr. Potato Head for the woken numbers are just like but who's buying mr potato head for the wokeness of it so here's where i think they fucked up they should have gone
Starting point is 01:39:30 conservative with it we're keeping mr and mr mrs potato head because we believe there's only two genders liberals would cancel it but they don't buy anything anyway liberals aren't buying their kids potato head doll great point conservative c oh these guys are sticking to their guns saying fuck you to PC culture. I'll buy every fucking Mr. Potato Head proudly. It's like the Goya beans shit. The old Morgan Whalen, that shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:39:51 All the way to the top of the culture. Yeah. Conservatives treat things that support their values like Indians treat Indian comics. They support. They come out. The country guy. Morgan Whalen. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:02 Yeah. His fucking shit. Through the roof. Through the roof. Number one selling artist in the world, apparently. To the moon, bro. GameStop. Yo, he don't fund.
Starting point is 01:40:10 I mean, look at Jordan Peterson's book. It's like nine million or something. I mean, he's selling millions of copies. Yeah. In Canada, it's like number one. He sent me a copy. Yeah. I said, you want to come on the pod to talk about it?
Starting point is 01:40:23 And then the PR firm was like, well, I'll ask him. I never heard back. Yeah. Not reading your book, Jordan. Not until your balls drop and you sound like a man. Well, let's talk about, you know. Sounds like a fucking eunuch. 12 rules for life.
Starting point is 01:40:40 Let me say here. It's about, it's about cleaning your room clean your room fluff your pillows you'll feel better with fluffy pillows i mean we live in an era where you can sell fucking tons of books all you gotta tell people is like there's two there's two sexes and people go hi he's a genius yeah isn't that crazy the most famous philosopher on the planet by going i think guys are guys how many dudes on the corner have been saying the exact same thing no 12 rules for life nothing yo if you got a pussy yeah you're a girl i think bro hey two rules guys are guys girls are girls if you don't ignore that if you actually don't
Starting point is 01:41:24 ignore that one athlete that's three feet tall than the other ones and was born with a dick, you're a genius. If Jordan Peterson 12-rolls book like a Master P album, like he would just put more songs on his shit than everybody else
Starting point is 01:41:35 because you would just buy it if there's more songs. Jordan Peterson got two rules. Guys are guys, girls are girls. Everybody's like, yeah, we need like 10 more. Give it 12 so we can sell this book. You can't have a two-rule book.
Starting point is 01:41:44 Yeah. That's true. Two rules is too little. That's not a book. I'm not investing we can sell this book. You can't have a two rule book. Yeah, that's true. Two rules is too little. That's not a book. I'm not investing in that. 12 rules. 12 steps.
Starting point is 01:41:49 12 is the number. 12 is the number. 12 months of the year. 12 months 13. How many disciples? 12 of them. 12 disciples? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:58 How many inches of dick is Giannis missing? 12. Yo. 12 bro. Yo. How many millions would have history hyenas made if we stayed missing? 12. Yo! 12, bro. Yo. How many millions would have history hyenas
Starting point is 01:42:07 made if we stayed together? 12. Yo! How many is Chrissy going to make on his own? 40! A hundo! How many is Giannis
Starting point is 01:42:21 going to make? What is Giannis going to be filing? Negative 12. Negative 12! Might be chapter 11 11 but it's close enough you know now it is so true isn't that crazy like it nowadays philosophers and thought leaders are just people saying common sense shit yeah what does that say about society we've gone so far left or so far right that all you need to do to be an intellectual is say what you already feel greatness is over in fact the attack
Starting point is 01:42:54 the the attack for in the name of morality is that's a great sentence to start with because what you're going to follow up with it has nothing to do with it but i'm going to listen no it's going to be good okay i think i think I know what you're doing. Greatness is over? I just watched Tom Brady win a fucking Super Bowl at 43 years old. Yeah, it's over, bro. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:12 I'll throw something. Okay, go. No, they attack. I'm starting every sentence with greatness is over and then just saying some completely non-sectical. When they attack you for something you did to try to make you morally pure, that in and of itself is an attack on greatness. Name me one person impure you're saying impure yeah they want you to be pure yeah
Starting point is 01:43:30 name me one great person who was pure michael jackson tom brady's a great example michael jackson r kelly was michael jackson yeah absolutely pure he yeah nothing is more pure yes than the loins of a little boy yes as a greek you would know that. You fucking feed him like tokens, and that's how he achieved his greatness. Fucking boy tokens. Put it in the machine and watch him dance. You're making my point. Put it in the machine and watch him dance. Tom Brady's a perfect example.
Starting point is 01:43:58 He left his pregnant girlfriend for Giselle. Yeah. No. She tried to trap him. So what? You banged her up. Stay like a man. But he thought he could trap him. So what? You banged her up. Stay like a man. But he thought he could trust her.
Starting point is 01:44:07 So what? You banged her up. He votes Republican. He's bad. He's bad. Right. Yeah, so that's another one. That motherfucker knows how to leave a sinking ship, don't he?
Starting point is 01:44:17 He does. He got out of, what is there, Bridget Moynihan? He got away from her right in time. He went to Tampa. I mean, this guy, I trust his decision making. And he was ballsy enough to make it. He's not loyal. How is he not loyal? He's been loyal to Gisele. No, he's...
Starting point is 01:44:32 Well, we don't know that. She wasn't loyal to him. Well, we got to check his burner. She lied to him. She was like, yeah, I'm on the pill, this and that, the other. And then she got knocked up. Who, Gisele? No. Oh, the other bitch. I mean, she's just Google Maps face. Nobody knows about her. She has it Tom Brady seed. That kid could grow up to be something. but he's not her. I mean, she's just Google Maps face. Nobody knows about her. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:47 She has it Tom Brady seed. That kid could grow up to be something. Yeah. But he's not. Does Brady not have anything to do with that kid? Huh? Does Brady not have anything? I think that kid is always with him. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:44:54 I assume that's one of his. Brady should ignore him so he has a chance to be great. So he has something to conquer. Now that he's coddling him, the kid's not going to do anything. He's going to end up being a DJ on drugs. But if you ignore that kid, that kid ends up being great. Look at Shaq. Look at other kids. Phil is my father. He didn't have a real father, so he became an animal. He became one of the best players. Shaq. Shaq had a military stepdad. Yeah, but his father figured, but he didn't have a real dad.
Starting point is 01:45:17 Sean King, dad, doesn't know, mysterious light-skinned black guy, becomes a great philosopher on the internet, internet activist because he overcame obstacles in order to achieve greatness you got to overcome obstacles yeah it is tough pure people don't overcome you can't overcome obstacles jeff bezos jeff bezos got one eye the other eye's evil no yeah jeff bezos doesn't know his real dad hi doesn't know his real dad he didn't miss steve jobs dog steve job adopted yeah andrew schultz mother never hugged him mother never hugged me there you go she will dance with you though she will dance yeah she will dance she did she will replace hugs with dancing mom it worked out
Starting point is 01:45:55 you see what i'm saying like greatness and greatness and morality are almost diametrically opposed oh well where you go it seems like greatness and a lack of love are parallel you can't have to do some dirty shit in order to achieve greatness i don't know i don't know the great dirty but i don't know if that's dirty i don't know what tom brady did is dirty know if Tom Brady Did his dirty Tom Brady probably Was mean to his teammates Probably loved them a bunch No they loved His teammates love him
Starting point is 01:46:29 Yeah teammates absolutely Love playing with him Alright So this is going up I feel like I love Winston Yeah Michael Jordan
Starting point is 01:46:36 Because he was a dick That's the greatest Of all time You tell me Tom Brady Is nice to him No Tom Brady gets in your face And he yells Come on dude
Starting point is 01:46:44 Yeah If I can do it You can do it Yeah He's harsh But everybody, Tom Brady gets in your face and he yells, come on, dude. I can do it, you can do it. He's harsh. But everybody loved him. His teammates all loved him. Everyone loved Michael Jordan. No, they didn't. No, they didn't.
Starting point is 01:46:52 Well, then my theory's wrong. How is greatness dead? So your theory is... Because it's in China. You need to be... I'm saying because they won't allow any moral impurity. Taking down Kevin Hart. It's like you're attacking
Starting point is 01:47:07 people who are trying to achieve things like trying to take them down. It fucking all started with Arnold Schwarzenegger and that generation, they start, you know,
Starting point is 01:47:16 like fucking Bilbo has that great joke. It's like, you don't think he's going to fuck his mate? I mean, what are you going to do? You're Tiger Woods.
Starting point is 01:47:21 You don't think? You don't think he's going to do that? Do what? Fuck other people. That should have been a clause in the marriage we felt betrayed by tiger because most of them were ugly huh i think we felt betrayed by it means he's a feminist son means he fucking that's what we're not about he seems deaf are you a feminist absolutely yes i think the biggest threat to feminism is women's taste in men the guys they choose
Starting point is 01:47:43 oh i like this that's the biggest keep going keep going yeah they never like the nice guy yeah he's too nice you go to their girlfriends like i don't know he just you know he's just too respectful yeah like i don't it's no chemistry you know like and then they'll find any reason like he you know he saw the shirt he was wearing it didn't match the wall in the bar like i like i like michael because you know he fucking, I can't, he challenges me. Right. And he fucked my girlfriend, so I gotta get him.
Starting point is 01:48:09 I gotta change him. So do you feel like you have to be an asshole for your wife to love you? I'm retired, dog. I look down at my penis, it looks like OJ Simpson walking. It's just a retired, he's got that old running back walk,
Starting point is 01:48:23 just my knees hurt. My dick is retired, I'm out of the game. Out, clearly. Dead, yeah. You's got that old running back walk just my knees hurt my dick is retired i'm out of the game oh i got dead yeah you know that fucking retired running back walk it looks like that's my dad looked down it's a grizzled vet you know it's got fucking scars on it so you don't care if she's into you or not i got a wife i love my wife i love my family i wish you my type of success it doesn't matter what podcast you have or don't when you love your family oh wow it's the least interesting thing I've said on this podcast. Comedy is about saying the wrong thing. Yes, but you didn't answer my question.
Starting point is 01:48:50 What is your question? Do you feel like you need to maintain a certain... It was Chris's fault, okay? He wanted bigger things. He got in a boat with Sal Vulcano, but he doesn't know it's the comedy Titanic. He's trading in true comedy fans for fucking huge fat women
Starting point is 01:49:09 with neck fat. I just wanted to know if you had to be a jerk to your wife or her to love you. I'm sorry. I was just joking. That's the best deflection ever, though. I'm joking.
Starting point is 01:49:21 That's a safer question. Safer answer than the real answer. Of course it's a joke. What were you saying'm sorry i've gotten my answer uh thank you for watching flagrant 2 everybody no uh mark what else we got what else we got um let's go through a couple more feelings no facts yeah do you want to pull up more of these stories yo demi lovato says gender reveal parties are transphobic facts yeah if you believe in trans people a gender reveal party is transphobic yeah can't you have two though can't you have one when they're born and like do another one when the child when they realize what it is yeah when the child decides for itself mean, the only pushback I would give her
Starting point is 01:50:06 is that like 99.9% of the time, you're going to be right, right? Like maybe we don't have to get rid of, that's my only thing with the trans thing is like, we don't have to get rid of entire like celebrations or customs. If 99.9% of the time, usually that's what it is. Like the whole pronoun shit,
Starting point is 01:50:24 like why'd you assume my pronoun? Because 99.9% of the time, usually that's what it is. Like the whole pronoun shit, like why'd you assume my pronoun? Because 99.9% of the time when I assume someone's pronoun in life, I'm fucking right. Like it is the most right I've ever been about anything in my life is going, how are you, sir? Or how are you, miss? I'm usually never wrong. Matter of fact, in my life, I've never been wrong. I've talked to trans people. And when I see them, I'm like, okay, that's trans.
Starting point is 01:50:45 I'm not even going to say a pronoun. It's dude. But what if it gets more sophisticated in the future? People start identifying as different genders based on their mood. So when I'm happy, I'm like a little bitch. I did a very good sheet. When I get hungry, I'm a fucking alpha male. I want to eat.
Starting point is 01:51:02 When I get fucking catty, I'm a female. What. I want to eat. You know, when I get fucking like catty, I'm a female who used to be a man. You know, what if it starts getting my mood? And so I identify as different things throughout the day based on my mood. Yeah. So then maybe we should just tattoo our pronouns so I don't get misgendered. Maybe we'll have little screens put on top of her head
Starting point is 01:51:19 and the mood will just switch. Like this is what I identify in, she, her. Yeah. Or just tattoo like a number or something on their wrist. Something like that. Push them in an oven. Yeah. You're taking a shower.
Starting point is 01:51:29 No, I'm just saying like, this is the thing that, and we spoke about this, I believe, with the Capitol riots shit. It's like, if you believe what they believe to be true about the world, that these politicians are all like lizard people that are like feasting on like children and like drinking their blood. Yeah. Storm the fucking Capitol. Storm it. What are you waiting for?
Starting point is 01:51:49 If you truly believe that to be true about our politicians, I want to meet the people who believe that and decided not to storm the Capitol. You fucking pussy staying at home. Like you truly have invested your life in this and you're just going to let them run the country? You're a crazy person. The time for action comes and you sit at home?
Starting point is 01:52:07 You're right. If you believe those crazy things about those people. So if she believes this to be true, right? If she believes that, I guess, whatever you feel you are, technically a gender reveal party would be transphobic. Yeah. I don't know, though. Go.
Starting point is 01:52:25 Because even if she does believe in what she believes, you can just say, oh, yeah, we're having a gender reveal party for our baby. And then our kid grows up and then says, oh, I identify as a different gender. And then you say, all right, we're going to do another gender reveal party. That's too reasonable. Yeah, like, are you worried you're going to convince the kid he's something he's not? Yeah. Like, the kid will know if he identifies is insensitivity considered um hateful yeah there's a phobia is fear
Starting point is 01:52:52 i'm not scared of gay people yeah so we use homophobia interchangeably with hate okay right like you're not afraid of gay people but like people who hate sensitivity is not fear-based hate or hate in general. It's just insensitivity. If it's intentional, though. Sometimes by being insensitive to somebody's plight, it could be seen as hateful.
Starting point is 01:53:11 I hear what you're saying, but I'm just trying to wrap it in for one more. No, I know, but you can't hurt a baby's feelings that aren't born yet. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:53:18 We never asked the baby. Yeah, but we don't need to. It's not born yet. It has no feelings to hurt right now. Gender reveal parties are baby-phobic. You are baby-phobic. Yeah, you're a little need to. It's not boring. It has no feelings to hurt right now. Gender reveal parties are baby phobic. Yeah. You are baby phobic.
Starting point is 01:53:27 Yeah, you're a little bit. That's fine. I swear when I hear stories like this, I'm like, yo, Giannis is right. Chani can take it. Do what you want. I mean, yeah, we're all. I'm tired.
Starting point is 01:53:35 We had a good one. Dude, the Chinese gender reveal party. They can shut the shit. Oh, yeah. It's sick. We're like, it's a girl, and they just squash it. That's the reveal, right? Wrong answer just squash it wrong answer every gender reveal like girl girl
Starting point is 01:53:49 there's a right answer and wrong talks about how dope that is like if you're chinese and you get like your side bitch pregnant that you do have an out yeah i'm keeping the baby and you're like looks like a girl to me there will be no gender reveal party it'll be a gender funeral gender blender oh that's great gender blender is so good why would you what are you entertaining that for you getting that out that's a great line so uh
Starting point is 01:54:26 what did y'all think about Jeremy Lin uh snitching on the motherfuckers calling him coronavirus son that shit is so funny
Starting point is 01:54:33 son how are you not gonna call him coronavirus bro yeah how are you not like if I know you're Greek
Starting point is 01:54:38 and we're hooping I'm calling you Kynitos yeah right 100% you're a Kynitos bro yeah
Starting point is 01:54:43 you see how he's backing you to paint that's how he used to be when he was learning how to paint or whatever they did in Greece Yeah. Right? 100%. You're a Knydos, bro. Yeah. You see how he's backing you to paint? That's how he used to be when he was learning how to paint. Or whatever they did in Greece. What were Greeks? Painters?
Starting point is 01:54:52 Sculptors? Yeah. But yeah, they painted, sculpted, did math. But that was the thing like... I mean, he just minimized it. What did you guys do? I don't know. Started democracy, republics, fucking architecture, algebra, it's all fucking Greek.
Starting point is 01:55:03 Oh, God damn it, Giannis. Come on with that. Like, I hate how people act like they invented math, bro. What did you guys do? I don't know. Started democracy, republics, fucking architecture, algebra, it's all fucking great. Oh, God damn it. Come on with that. Like, I hate how people act like they invented math, bro. Like, people didn't know what the fuck shit was before you. You think they were just looking at things going, I don't know how much is on this table.
Starting point is 01:55:16 I had two and then I got three. I don't know what's happening. Hey, how many goats do you got? I don't know. We haven't invented numbers yet. I really don't know. Should we do a trade? You're going for my pelicans?
Starting point is 01:55:27 How can we have a world fair about? It'd be impossible. Where are the Greeks to invent numbers? The Greeks are so fucking arrogant. They are. They think they're the only people that could think of counting things. We are the, we stole it from the Egyptians. We are the Elvis of cultures.
Starting point is 01:55:44 Oh. Yeah, we stole it from the Egyptians. We are the Elvis of cultures. Yeah, we stole it from the Egyptians. And Egyptians, they're the only ones that learned how to count shit? I think it's just them. We invented triangles, shut up. I think before that, it's aliens or something. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Anyway, how did we get to this?
Starting point is 01:55:57 I don't remember. Jeremy Lin. Oh yeah, Jeremy Lin. So Jeremy Lin's out there getting called coronavirus on a court, right? And he's not even in the NBA. Of course you're gonna get called coronavirus if you're in the G League. You're gonna meet a bunch of guys that are dying coronavirus on a court, right? And he's not even in the NBA. Of course you're going to get called coronavirus if you're in the G League. There's a bunch of guys that are dying to make a team, right?
Starting point is 01:56:09 They're making $30,000 a year, barely feed their families. Maybe it was a compliment. Like, yo, you're about to invade the league. You're about to really take over. Yo, coronavirus is a compliment, son. You're about to change the game. Lockdown defense. Yeah, lockdown.
Starting point is 01:56:26 He's changing. He's changing the course of history. Yeah. And honestly, defending him makes you out of breath. Yeah. You feel like you've got some coronavirus chasing Jeremy Lin around the corner. You're kidding me. Son, he never had a problem being called Lin Sanity. Yeah, right?
Starting point is 01:56:42 Some people might say that that's a little insensitive to mental health. Yeah, he's a veteran now. Instead of calling him a veteran, you just call him a long hauler, you know? I didn't understand what that was. You don't know Corona long haulers? No. Oh, shit. It's a good joke, actually.
Starting point is 01:56:55 Yeah. That's good. My bad. Okay. I thought you were talking to like truckers or something like that. Corona long haulers. Corona long haulers. That's right.
Starting point is 01:57:04 You can test positive for a while Yeah No but that's true Like isn't this some bitch ass shit This is some real bitch ass shit Like you're playing basketball Almost everything's on the table Like you can't be
Starting point is 01:57:18 There's no like M word That kind of stuff But like Kind of racist shit goes On a court Especially Bitch ass white boy Luca got called that Bitch ass white boy And I can't shit goes on a court especially bitch ass white boy Luca got called that
Starting point is 01:57:26 bitch ass white boy and I can't believe we had a whole fucking apology about that shit the NBA didn't make him do shit especially if black people are the ones saying it
Starting point is 01:57:33 they deserve they have a you have they have like diplomatic immunity I get it how you have a white guy calling him coronavirus
Starting point is 01:57:37 they got diplomatic immunity black people have diplomatic immunity like diplomats with crime like if you're gonna call someone a racist and you're black you can do it
Starting point is 01:57:43 yeah just got diplomatic I don't know though diplomats now are getting anally fisted by the chinese yeah but it's still completely legal nuke them nukes click click boom i like it i read jeremy lynn's statement and a lot of the shit he was like we're not gonna handle stand for this anymore i thought it would be more like there Who's we? There's one of you I There's one Asian In the GLE Like Asian shit
Starting point is 01:58:07 In America in general Yeah And most of it I was like This is a big deal to you It's like the way They're represented in movies Or some shit like that
Starting point is 01:58:14 It's like bruh Talk about the hate crimes I'm with you Yeah Talk about treating Chinese Americans poorly Because of the virus Alright cool
Starting point is 01:58:21 And that's fucked up You can't treat Chinese Americans poorly Because of the virus You can't obviously Do. And that's fucked up. You can't treat Chinese Americans poorly because of the virus. You can't obviously do not, you know, any acts of violence
Starting point is 01:58:28 against Chinese Americans is absolutely disgusting. But we're going to call you coronavirus if we were your friend. Like, you can't tell me I can't be racist
Starting point is 01:58:36 with my friends. What's the point of friendship? What's the point of friendship if I can't call my Asian friend coronavirus? That's a good point. I've probably been calling Ronnie Chang coronavirus
Starting point is 01:58:44 for about six months. Ever since coronavirus came around, I'm like, Ronnie, why would you bring this here? It's like, yo, man, you helped me move. You were there for me when mom died. But yo, are we really friends? Because you never called me coronavirus. You can't even trust it. If your white friend hasn't called you coronavirus yet, can you trust him? He's hiding something. He's hiding something. Yeah. Come on, bro. Just because he don't have any snapbacks on the black dudes, that's what it is. Because he can't say anything. Well, he could get dreadlocks.
Starting point is 01:59:10 Remember when he got his little dreadlocks? Yeah. He had his little cornrows? Oh, yeah. And then Kenyon Martin's dumbass called him out. Yeah. He's like, that's cultural appropriation. And then Jeremy was like, dude, you have ancient characters on your neck.
Starting point is 01:59:20 Yeah. I'm just saying, it seems like some soft. And then he goes, I'm gonna snitch I'm not gonna say The exact person Because ruining that person's life Wouldn't be good So what are you saying this for? Just like some victimhood shit?
Starting point is 01:59:30 That's all it is? Yeah That was the beginning of it I think Yeah it's like Isn't that a celebration Of the culture? If you're doing something?
Starting point is 01:59:39 What? Especially if you're Asian I bet black people Call them coronavirus It's a term of endearment On the basketball court Yeah Wait is he mad because of that
Starting point is 01:59:45 or is he mad because of the head it's for a diss bro like bitch hits yeah right but coronavirus
Starting point is 01:59:51 he's already back on defense yeah do you know what I mean yeah alright guys we gotta stop for a second because
Starting point is 01:59:57 I need to make sure that your dicks are giving you the most value that they possibly can And frankly I know for a fact that they're not Because some of you guys out there For whatever fucking reason
Starting point is 02:00:11 Are not chewing it up You're not chewing it up The blue chew is here to provide you A powerful penis for you And your loved ones And by loved ones I just mean Your wife or your girlfriend or your side chick or the chicks you're dating. Nobody that you're related to ideally, okay? But blue chew
Starting point is 02:00:31 is the greatest invention in human history. Yeah, I'll say that right now. I'll say that right now. It might be the greatest invention in human history, satisfying not only you, but your woman or your man. However you use it i don't fucking care blue chew same active ingredients as inside viagra cialis all that other good stuff but this is the blue chew baby it's a whole different ball game and it's the only ball game that we play matter of fact if you use some blue chew properly your girl's gonna be playing a whole different ball game, I promise you. So what you're going to do is go to bluechew.com, okay? You're going to go
Starting point is 02:01:09 bluechew.com, you're going to use the promo code flagrant, and you're going to get your first month for free. Yeah, bluechew.com, first month for free. That's a no-brainer. Use the promo code flagrant. All you got to do is pay $5 shipping. Go have the weekend of your life, the month of your life. Do whatever you want. And you're welcome. Let's get back to the show. Also, guys, we're both on tour, man. Tickets are available right now.
Starting point is 02:01:31 You go to theandrewschultz.com. And I would go there quite quickly because they're selling out fast. You got some rock star shit. Hey, man, things are pretty good. Things are pretty good. I'm liking it. Salt Lake is sold out. Columbus is sold out. Nashville is sold out. Atlanta might be sold out. of shit hey man things are pretty good things are pretty good you know i'm liking it uh salt lake is sold out clums sold out nashville sold out um atlanta might be sold out and raleigh might be
Starting point is 02:01:50 sold look go check right now we also got west palm beach phoenix and tampa those are going fast the tour starts this coming up weekend so make sure you go there immediately uh we're not adding shows i would get those tickets right now, right now, right now. And Akash, what you got coming up? Yo, I am at Helium this week in Philly. Not sold out. Y'all got time to buy tickets. We're going to get there, though.
Starting point is 02:02:13 March 4th through 6th. I'm doing three Heliums, guys. This is exciting. March 4th through 6th, I'm at Helium. March 18th through the 20th, I'm at Helium in St. Louis. Helium in Philly, March 4th through 6th. And we just added this. April 15th through April 17th, I'm at Helium in St. Louis. Helium in Philly, March 4th through 6th. And we just added this. April 15th through April 17th, I'm at Helium in Portland.
Starting point is 02:02:29 So guys, scoop up tickets. Let's go. Let's rock out. Let's have fun. Akash Singh.com. What else we got? Give us another one. You guys want to watch the Woody Allen doc?
Starting point is 02:02:36 Woody Allen documentary. Should there be a statute of limitations for hip pieces? No. Like, can you just keep on profiting off of making hip pieces on people that were accused of things and then proven innocent it's a good point like there's no double jeopardy when it comes to uh i guess the conviction right like if you are innocent like oj cannot get tried again at least not like yeah but this is like OJ because he got away with marrying one daughter. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:03:07 And now it's like, all right, well, you got away with one crime, so we're going to get you on some other shit. So basically what they're trying to say is this. They're trying to say, I think it's like Woody Allen versus Dylan Farrow or something like that. And allegedly he molested his daughter, Dylan Farrow. And they did some study, they yale this yale this that the other and they concluded that dylan was not molested by woody but then some shady shit happened where they like threw out the records or burned the records or burned the evidence of the interviews and all that kind of stuff afterwards and then the prosecutor said later on that he thought what
Starting point is 02:03:41 he did do it but he didn't want to put dylan through the experience of like going to trial and he thought it'd be really traumatic for so obviously there's a lot of fucked up shit and then he marries his 14 year old asian chick or c-17 or something when they get married whatever it is but his adopted daughter there's a lot of weird shit with woody allen great nate mcintosh line what is it you can't adopt something and then fuck it you just can't shawson nathan mcintosh you can't adopt something and then fuck but you can you can though you did it he did yeah he did but people are people try to be like yo but she was old enough yeah no you can't adopt something and then fuck it yeah you're morally right and wrong it's not cool he didn't really sure he didn't technically adopt her though uh older dudes who
Starting point is 02:04:21 have a sugar baby that's the same as adopting them you take care of their entire life yeah but not when they're fucking three years old if you get a sugar baby when they're a baby young yo but but yannis made a good ass point what he never adopted her no no it was mia farrell's adopted daughter mia farrell and woody allen were dating uh they lived in different houses he was i guess kind of a father figure based on his girlfriend was her mother but he cheated on her with her and then let's be honest they've been together now longer than most people who have appropriate beginnings is that punishment enough that he's got to spend the rest of his life with this four so that we don't think dude not to jews jews love asians man the ivy league has been bringing jews and asians together since 1930 like they really like they go after each other old cultures
Starting point is 02:05:13 you know they're used to small penises they both understand algebra and all that shit it's a real they just vibrate like people are that smart fuck different yeah you know that like we're mediocre stupid people so we stroke to try to get the dumb sperm up we try to give it a head start and that's why we pump but because nature doesn't want us to reproduce so we have to kind of help it yeah but smart people like that just hold each other and vibrate he knows kama sutra shit you just vibrate like when mark zuckerberg fucks i assume her name's mrs chow or chang or some shit when they fuck they just they hold each other and vibrate and then god or nature just takes the sperm and shoots it in because they want to make more genius people because it's evolution they're smarter than us yeah so they just vibrate they just hold each other like that
Starting point is 02:05:58 i'm telling you dog i researched this shit yeah where'd you research it internet dog internet got some shit on there. Yeah, Internet's got some shit on there, bro. And, Akash, is this true? I'm starting to feel like Chris DiStefano right now. What is that? I had enough. I had enough.
Starting point is 02:06:13 What's going on right now? There's too many good jokes. Is that true about the Kama Sutra? I don't know. I haven't read the Kama Sutra. That's a waste, bro. How have you not read the fucking one thing? That's like a dude who's tall and you don't hoop.
Starting point is 02:06:23 It's like you're Indian, bro. You should be a fucking... That's the jujitsu of fucking. You don't know it? Yeah, man. But I'm going to do it. You're going the fucking one thing? That's like a dude who's tall and you don't hoop. It's like you're Indian, bro. You should be a fucking... That's the jujitsu of fucking. You don't know it? Yeah, man. But I'm going to do it. You're going to fucking vibrate your girl. Learn a couple things, dude.
Starting point is 02:06:31 Wouldn't you be curious about your culture? Anyone needs it. It's the jujitsu. I do need it, but I probably can't do most of that shit. You seen a couple of them pictures? I would love... For a while, shit they're doing, yo. Yeah, but that shit...
Starting point is 02:06:42 Pick up some Kama Sutra pictures. Also, is it written or is it just pictures? It's written, dude. You can study. It's the jujitsu of fucking. It's like you could, you know, you could get like a black belt in it and fuck good. They figured out like the martial arts of fucking
Starting point is 02:06:55 and we're all ignoring it because fucking we can't see past their food being spicy or whatever it is. You know what I mean? It's like, what's going on? It does make sense. There's a lot of Indians. Yeah, dude. Yeah, they must have been doing it right. Yeah know what I mean? It's like, what's going on? It doesn't make sense. There's a lot of Indians. Yeah, they must have been doing it right.
Starting point is 02:07:08 Yeah, and they're pieces too. The women are fucking pieces. Yeah. Yeah. Each his own, man. Each his own,
Starting point is 02:07:18 you know. Everybody's got a flavor, you know. You like it? Nah. That's the nicest way you've ever handled that. Love Indian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Smart. Smart. Smart. know you like it no this is the way you've handled that love indian yeah yeah yeah smart smart
Starting point is 02:07:28 great culture amazing amazing culture brilliant smart people oh gosh a good looking kid amazing looking men yeah great eyes eyes yeah phenomenal you know nice sandals women mute ants that is an evil ass laugh it's like dr evil on mushrooms guys are attracted no i think akash has put this in my in me self-hating sandra no he loves indian he loves indian women more than anything he'll only date indian he married anyone but he'll only be with indian but he hates it when white guys specifically date indians yeah so i think he put this in me in some way he like inception right right yeah
Starting point is 02:08:21 yeah an allergy yeah yeah yeah because i love everything indian big fan of the culture big fan of the people obviously love the food grew up on indian food right yeah i mean i grew up a couple when i moved to new york boom i grew up a couple blocks from six street where a little india oh yeah yeah but he put something in me he inception something great cab drivers too they're. They're good at that. I'm just mentioning something they're good at. Overlook. I mean, of all the things we could say about Indian,
Starting point is 02:08:51 I don't think cab drivers. Dude, if you need to get to LaGuardia in 42 minutes, they'll make it happen. You'll fear for your life, but they'll make it happen. When you go to India, you won't even feel like it's offensive. You'll be like, no, I see how we fucking nice. Yeah, dude. Hell yeah, they're nice. Manhattan is lightweight. I, I see how we fucking nice. Yeah. Dude, even out of that trap. Hell yeah. They're nice.
Starting point is 02:09:05 Okay. Fine. Yeah. I wait. Yeah. I'm saying much more successful. Yeah. Get into a cab with a fat black,
Starting point is 02:09:10 uh, white woman. See how quick you make it to LaGuardia. Just trying to make it equal. She's half black, half white. Do y'all remember when we were shooting the Schultz studio sketch? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:09:23 And they walked in and Chrissy says one thing and then Yannis goes. I got caught. I was like, this is the hardest I laughed in 2020. I think I lost it. I got to find a way to get it up so we can rewatch it.
Starting point is 02:09:40 Can you look to see if you can find it? I'll find it. Dude, Yannis says one line. I'm not even going to say it. We'll get back to it. When you can find it i'll find it dude yannis says one line i can't i'm not even saying we'll get back to it when you had it we'll get back to it i remember it but he basically had one of those brain farts yeah i just got so yeah something's there but i'm working on it right i'm working on it akash yeah you don't got to bro you be you no you did this to me probably and i love it i'm working on it right i'm working on it akash yeah you don't got to bro you be you
Starting point is 02:10:05 no you did this to me probably and i love it i'm not gonna be accountable for what you did i'm so proud of myself fuck are you gonna hate indian women soon too dog i love i don't hate indian i love everybody i love everybody especially women every culture has beautiful women everyone every single one except for san antonio the world is full of girls yeah he called it he called it i went there i was like holy shit these are big dude they are big i mean they look like they have an actual city ordinance where they don't let you build more than three stories because if a fat woman goes to the top she could cause she could cause a solar eclipse dog they're like fucking planets. They're circles.
Starting point is 02:10:46 Cause a solar eclipse. I'm telling you, buildings can only be so tall. If they get too high, they block the sun. Big people. You've never seen fucking people that big. What's uglier? San Antonio or San Francisco? Okay, hold on. We have the video.
Starting point is 02:11:01 I sent it to you. You sent it to me, but do we want to play it right here Can we play it right there Yeah San Francisco Gotta be there It's a good one San Francisco Oh my fucking god dude
Starting point is 02:11:10 They don't take care Of themselves in San Francisco Ugh Yeah I want to see this video I just want to make sure That we get this all out This is
Starting point is 02:11:17 This is great You ready to go You need a couple more minutes Okay Let's do another topic Before we get out of here What more do we have Marquito Lady Gaga situationaga situation well you can move on for the last time or whatever oh yeah zlatan versus lebron are you familiar with this yes zlatan ibrahimovic is a legendary
Starting point is 02:11:38 soccer player has played soccer at the highest levels is dominated at the highest levels i don't know if he's that a championship, per se. Did he win one with Barcelona? Did he have a headbutt of a guy in the World Cup? No, that was Zinedine Zidane. Okay. Yeah. Frenchman.
Starting point is 02:11:50 This guy's Swedish. Well, he's like Yugoslavian. Right. Immigrant to Sweden. Right. Immigrant to Sweden. Really tough life. Grew up poor.
Starting point is 02:11:57 Street kid. Found salvation through soccer. So he's not like some rich Swede who's just yapping off. Right. And he's like one of the most cocky people on the planet and very charismatic and lovey jokes a lot people love him yeah charismatic um and he basically told lebron uh shut up and dribble yeah but he said focus on what you're good at you shouldn't be involved in politics don't say things about politics we'll get up in a second you should you look like him a little bit i'll take it i look like every
Starting point is 02:12:23 yugoslavian. You do, yeah. And then he basically says, focus on what you're good at, which is obviously the sport. Don't involve yourself in politics because you don't know about it. And obviously the knee-jerk reaction is, you know, LeBron is, I do my Googles, I'm research, I know what I'm saying, blah, blah, blah. But I have noticed a transition in how LeBron frames his activism post NBA China issue right because LeBron used to do what a lot of people do when they become activists which say basically say uh what is it a inequality anywhere is a threat to
Starting point is 02:12:59 equality everywhere yeah or injustice anywhere is a threat to justice right that's the quote Martin Luther King yes and they take that and they take that premise and they attach it to everything and then they have to be an activist for everything yep and everybody's a hypocrite if you go further enough down the line right like everybody has the phone that's made by the slaves everybody has the clothes that are made by the kids in the sweatshops we're all hypocrites you can't be a total activist you can't be a total vegan. You can't be a total vegan, a total animal rights activist, because an animal has been doing something for you, and you are connected to that abuse of that animal or of that human being.
Starting point is 02:13:34 Right. So after the whole China thing comes out, I think it almost reminds LeBron that, like, oh, there's certain things that he's okay, but there's certain inequalities that he is a hundred percent okay about for the right amount of money right like four millions of dollars treat chinese people however the fuck you want is basically what he said right and then his focus kind of evolved to i just care about my community and i'm gonna stand up for my community which i
Starting point is 02:14:01 don't knock because i love that yeah it's literally the only real way to be an advocate or an activist without getting too much pushback. If you go, I'm for equality over here, immediately you get dice apart. If you go, yo, I just ride for my team. That's all I care about. I know there's other people out there who got fucked up. They got to ride for their team and get people to ride for them, but I can't solve all the world's problems. I just got to solve mine. I honestly think that's the safest position to be in. It's the safest, but isn't
Starting point is 02:14:32 there a point at which it's like, yo, they got fucking concentration camps over there. Like, that's not, you could be quiet about some crazy injustice. Yeah, but what's LeBron going to do about that? Especially if Same shit he does, say something. Yeah, but you know, the NBA makes a lot of money in China. It's part of his contract. He probably can't say anything. brah i'm gonna do about that especially if same shit he does say something yeah but yeah but the nba makes a lot of money in china it's part of his contract he probably can't say anything
Starting point is 02:14:49 yeah you know i guess what i'm saying is like once you take that corporate money dog you can't have a podcast anymore these are all come on man it's we're all joking i I mean, you know, it was, it was, it was a mutual decision. Moonwalking. No, but for real. He doesn't have faith in the moonwalk anymore. He gives up half. I know.
Starting point is 02:15:12 He's like, I can't do it. Why did I think I was going to have to ask him a question to get it out? Just let him talk about other topics.
Starting point is 02:15:19 He keeps on bringing it back. No, but seriously, isn't it kind of the same thing? It's kind of like he works for the NBA. Yes. nba makes a trillion dollars in china everything makes money movie business there would be no money in rocks movies as it was everything makes money in china yes because
Starting point is 02:15:36 that's where the money is that's where the growing middle class is that's where everything is made yes that's where the tiger mom philosophy is that's where all the stem research is being they're just crushing us we don't want to admit it yet no no we're jordan on the wizards dog it's time to hang them up stop you stop stop you're acting crazy nah them demi lovato stories make me think yannis is right we're not going nowhere we're not going nowhere all right guys let's take a break for a second let's talk about kratom now if you've never heard of kratom it's an herbal supplement kind of like cbd but instead of coming from the hemp plant, Kratom is from a plant related to the coffee tree. Kratom is a complete game changer for millions of people. It's one of those things
Starting point is 02:16:14 that if you use it, you swear by it. Kratom is great for energy support. Some people use it as a substitute for coffee or before a workout. It's also great for managing stress and getting you the relief that you need to power through a physical day. But the thing is, Kratom, you got to trust the Kratom that you're taking. That's right. There's different Kratoms out there. There's a lot of shady Kratom, so you got to be very careful. I mean, some of it is salmonella, mold, even lead, nasty, nasty stuff. The only brand of Kratom that you should trust is Super Speciosa. Super Speciosa has different strains. Some chill you out. Some give you energy.
Starting point is 02:16:49 Whatever you're looking for, they've got you covered. So make sure your Kratom is clean and pure by getting it from Super Speciosa. Super Speciosa meets the American Kratom Association's standards for clean and tested Kratom. So you can feel confident about what you're putting in your body. There are no hidden ingredients or synthetic enhancements. Standards for clean and tested Kratom. So you can feel confident about what you're putting in your body. There are no hidden ingredients or synthetic enhancements. One ingredient, pure Kratom leaf. We're fully transparent with lab testing.
Starting point is 02:17:16 Scan the QR code on the label to view lab certificates. Get clean quality and value. Save tons of money with Super Speciosa versus buying at a smoke shop, okay? Super Speciosa is offering our listeners 20% off everything on their website right now. So all you got to do is go to getsuperleaf.com slash flagrant. Again, that's getsuperleaf.com slash flagrant and use the promo code flagrant and you get 20% off. That's getsuperleaf.com slash flagrant and use the promo code flagrant and you get 20% off. All right, guys.
Starting point is 02:17:47 Let's get back to the show. All right. This has been far too long already. But before we get out of here, I do want to talk about one more thing. And that is doing stand-up again. We did these shows, Miami. Thank you so much for coming out, man. It's fucking unbelievable.
Starting point is 02:18:00 And thank you for selling out these shows so goddamn fast. It is incredibly flattering, man. Thank you. And selling out these shows So god damn fast It is incredibly flattering man Thank you And we did these shows We had great line up on these shows Akash, Mark there Some Miami locals You know Kyle Grooms pulled up
Starting point is 02:18:15 Cisco's out there We got Will Lopez on the show David Lucas David came through man We had Tony Hinchcliffe on another one So they were just fucking dope But I didn't realize until I started doing stand up again How much time
Starting point is 02:18:32 In my day while I was not performing That stand up consumed Like I really forgot about that And The other day I was just like Hanging out in the house And I was just writing jokes again And like thinking about ways to get into jokes and out of jokes and segue. And I hadn't done that probably in over a year because all the preparation for joke writing was for Netflix or for the rants or just for like ideas for the pod.
Starting point is 02:18:59 And I was having so much fun by myself just sitting down and thinking of crazy ideas. The reason I bring it up is because when I wasn't doing stand-up, I would be really locked in when we were creating the rants or we're doing something when I had a task to do. Then after the task, I'd be like, what should I fucking work on? Maybe I'll find a new project. It felt almost like there was a void. I forgot how much time and how much purpose stand-up gave me. Because there's never a time in my life, now that I'm back to stand-up, and before for the last 13 years, where something wasn't potentially a joke.
Starting point is 02:19:39 Something horrible that went wrong, maybe it was a bit. Something incredibly embarrassing, how do I turn this into something? Ooh, that's a funny reference. Maybe I could put that into something. It filled my whole fucking day. In the same way that people who are trying to save the environment, I imagine their whole day is figuring out new ways where they can save the environment. It really fills you up.
Starting point is 02:20:00 It gives every second of the day some sort of purpose. And it's not like active work. It's not like building a house or something like that. But it's something to keep your mind occupied. And I just remember it was like, I don't know. I think, Mark, you said something. It was like a long lost love or something like that. Like you're reunited again.
Starting point is 02:20:17 You're like, oh, shit. I forgot how much I love spending time with you. And it's the time off stage. I never, I forgot how fun off state you know what i just thought of we don't even say we barely said in the last year yo that's a bit that's we used to say that on the podcast all the time yo that's a bit you gotta make that a bit yeah i think it's been particularly hard on us because we like stand-up is like an addiction yeah it's like we've been in like rehab yeah Yeah. I just love that we're back
Starting point is 02:20:45 as standup because we were talking about this last night, but like, we're standups. Yeah. That's the thing a lot of people don't realize.
Starting point is 02:20:54 Like, we are standups that do other things. We podcast, we put our fucking clothing line, we'll do crazy videos, we'll do little viral content, but we are stand-ups
Starting point is 02:21:05 that's what you do that's your main shit that's we came up as this is but it's not like we left it this is what we do it was forced out of our hands yeah and i love the fact that we're all getting back in a stand-up because it's just this reminder of what what the real is you know what i mean like it's very easy to create um i don't know how to like phrase this but like it's very easy when you get away from the thing that we're all in together it's very easy to get lost in each of those things right like even for ourselves like even when we were doing the rants and we weren't doing any stand-up i was like oh this is really fun you know this is like really cool we could doing the rants and we weren't doing any standup, I was like, oh, this is really fun. You know, this is like really cool. We could continue to do this, et cetera.
Starting point is 02:21:47 And it was great. Don't get me wrong. I had a great time doing it. But after doing standup again, it just was this, it just reminded me. I was like, oh, no, no, no. This is the thing. Because there's consequences. There's a cost for something not going good.
Starting point is 02:21:58 It's even more of a thrill. It's even more of a tightrope walk. Yeah. It's ephemeral. It's also the hardest thing. Yeah. Like I want to be the best at the hardest thing yeah you're alone up there yeah you got to do it you have to deliver it
Starting point is 02:22:11 and it's so cool to be part of that there are other things that you could be the best at but there is like for example if i do the best rant that's not on me mark Mark was writing on it. Robbie was writing on it. F.A. You know what I mean? We had a team of people that are helping. So it's like, but when you're up there and you're doing stand-up, man. It's your own stuff. It's a different fucking ballgame.
Starting point is 02:22:36 And it's the best. It is who you are. It's so fucking pure. And it's connection with other humans in a way. Like a laugh is like, oh, we all have that in common. It crosses cultural boundaries. It brings people together. it's a unifier it's a unifier and i'm not knocking other things i think sketch is cool i like sketch is cool acting's boring but you can see some really cool acting stuff but like there's something about stand-up especially like you said you are
Starting point is 02:23:02 we are stand-ups you either are a stand-up or you're not yeah and you know if you and if you are a stand-up it's just that's it there's nothing else exactly if you're not a stand-up you can you don't get it like but like if you take this from us and then we put us back there it's like oh and this will be telling like the motherfuckers that don't go back to stand-up they were never stand-ups yeah right they were doing stand-up as a means to get somewhere and the motherfuckers that go back to stand-up those are the ones that are real ones yeah so we're back in the game i just i it feels like we're back in the game man i just love it we got to admit though it's changed what's that as far as like what can make your career
Starting point is 02:23:41 it's changed a little bit if you're a young comic coming up now it used to be like hey get your stand up on television or yeah now it's kind of like hey man use the internet you know and then you know do stand up but yeah are you explaining this to me no i'm not to you i'm saying i know but i'm saying like that's one a good idea might be to like do clips or like uh put your special out on youtube but not even stand like, that's one caveat. A good idea might be to like do clips or like put your special out on YouTube. But not even stand up. But it's like, you know what I'm saying? It's like, I'm just saying a one caveat to like stand up is back is that like,
Starting point is 02:24:12 we're kind of grandfathered in, but the kids growing up, are they as enthusiastic? They get it. They're more enthusiastic. About stand up? Every one of these kids growing up has their own fucking DSLR camera that they're taking to shows.
Starting point is 02:24:24 They have a Zoom that they can get the audio from the show. They're cooking up their own clips. They onlyr camera that they're taking to shows that you know have a zoom that they can get the audio from the show they're cooking up their own clips they only know the internet they don't watch tv the new generation does everything themselves the new generation is the fucking what is this three-headed monster whatever it is they can edit they can shoot they can do absolutely because they understand that's what they need to do in order to be successful in this that was the caveat i was saying it's like you just can't only do stand-up the way we did to come up yeah but yes he's saying the new generation they're already doing it right they just get it it's there's more you have to do now right that's the only difference now is you got to do more
Starting point is 02:24:56 you got to be nice as fuck at stand-up and you got to figure out how to edit and you got to figure out how to shoot until you're successful enough where you can hire motherfuckers to do that. And if you don't want that, you don't want to play the game. That's what I, yeah. Simple as that. It's like these motherfuckers in the NBA that don't want to diet. Yeah, you got all the skills, but you don't want to diet, bro. You don't want to cut out bread. You don't want it enough. Why you got to do Big Baby like that? Son, Big Baby don't want enough. You're not spending a million dollars on your body,
Starting point is 02:25:18 Big Baby. Yeah. You know, LeBron out here spending a million on his body. Yes. And if you spend a million on your body, you'd probably still be in the league making 15 million a year. Yes. That'd be a good investment, isn't it?
Starting point is 02:25:28 Yeah. I'll spend a million to make 14. Yes. Yeah, I mean- So I don't want to hear nothing from comics. Oh, we have to do all this other shit. You're lucky. We didn't have that.
Starting point is 02:25:37 Fuck it. When we were young, we didn't have the opportunity. We got to hope to get a special, hope to get something. It's kind of crazy when you hear comics complain about it. It's like, what do you want To go back to it When there's three spots
Starting point is 02:25:47 And now it's wide open No it's just lazy Is they don't want To be part of the game Simple as that There are people who complain I remember seeing you Sell out the Times Square
Starting point is 02:25:55 Art Center Remember the Times Square Art Center Yeah I remember you selling That out with that And that shit was like Oh that's what I want
Starting point is 02:26:01 I don't want to deal With no networks Nothing I want that I want direct connection To the people And I want to sell out These shows's what I want. I don't want to deal with no networks, nothing. I want that. I want direct connection to the people, and I want to sell out these shows. And once I do that, I could have everything. And then I saw you get Montreal and all these other things. I was like, oh, everybody comes once the people come to you.
Starting point is 02:26:15 Oh, the people are the thing that you have to be connected to. And everybody who I've seriously fucked with in my career are people who have deep connections with the people. Charlamagne, Duvall, you, you know, Rogan, all these guys that I'm really connecting with, they're all about people to creator connectivity. No middleman, nothing. And then if we want to go dance on Netflix, let's go dance. Absolutely.
Starting point is 02:26:40 I'll take the people over there. Yeah. If we want to go dance somewhere else, then we go dance somewhere else. That's fine. But it all got to come back to here and what's on stage. And you took what you do and brought it to Netflix. Exactly.
Starting point is 02:26:51 Which was great to see. You know, it was like you were doing that already and they were like, we're buying that thing you're doing. You know, so that was like, it's kind of a continuation of what you were already doing. 100%. Yeah. And we wouldn't have done it otherwise.
Starting point is 02:27:03 If we couldn't do the exact thing we wanted to do, we wouldn't because this is what we were saying earlier. 100%. And we wouldn't have done otherwise. If we couldn't do the exact thing we wanted to do, we wouldn't. Because this is what we were saying earlier. We owe it to the people who support us. I can't lie to you. I can't give you a product that is misleading. I can't tell you that I'm this guy and this is what I stand for and then give you a product that is none of that. I have to be flagrant. I have to be, I mean, obviously I have to be flagrant i have to be um i mean obviously i have to be funny but i
Starting point is 02:27:27 have to be consistent in what i'm for lack of a better word selling yeah and the second you're not consistent is that's when they eat you alive i love you lie to me bro i love when jerry steinfeld one great thing he said was that christ jerry but remember he goes he goes just give us the money let us do it he it was some he was like actors actors. He was like, we, yeah, he goes, we, you're talking to a guy who created all the jokes, went on the road, knows they work, created his own career, and then you're giving me notes on what to make it funny. How dare you? How dare anybody tell Seinfeld anything?
Starting point is 02:27:58 Yo, he's the GOAT, bro. He's the GOAT, dog. He's the GOAT, bro. I love that motherfucker. The show Seinfeld is iconic. It's one of the GOAT shows. oh he's the goat bro i love that motherfucker the show seinfeld is iconic and every time you hear a story about a show that succeeded you always hear like they the people always say like chappelle said they got we had to fight the network they wanted us to do this we did this it's like let the comics just do it yo i feel that way until like i hire a contractor
Starting point is 02:28:19 you know yeah like they're doing work on the house and i'm like yo why isn't shit done and they're like oh we're gonna get it done it's like no i'm gonna be you gotta get some mexican contractors my friend they get it done they get it done they get it done you just got the wrong contract but you don't understand what i'm saying like it is different when you're putting up the money so i do understand that you got to prove your worth right if you've created something before then motherfuckers start to trust you if you created nothing then you're gonna have to put up with some notes if you've done nothing in your career, and then HBO goes, we'd like to make a show around you. Absolutely. They don't have a say.
Starting point is 02:28:50 If you've built your own show and then HBO buys that, then you get to say, yo, HBO, you paid me to do this thing. Now get the fuck out the way so I could do this. To that point, all jokes aside, Seinfeld was a hugely, like a really successful standup. Ben got his own show and then he was like, I'm going to do it my way. And he hired Larry David, who was sleeping at his mother's house, had no job, walked off a Saturday Night Live. He did it his way. He did it with the guy he wanted to do it with.
Starting point is 02:29:16 There's one quote I love by Bernie Brillstein. He goes, it's show business, not business show. I was so successful because I had the best talent. That's it that's the way i saw it never did contracts he's like if i don't if you're not working leave me i'm not doing my job he said it's show business yeah this is a show 100 so it's like it would be not you know network should think about that when they do comedy projects do you think his managers now are saying that because they do nothing who most managers. I don't know, but it is about, in the entertainment business,
Starting point is 02:29:46 if you get the right talent, you're probably on the right path. Yes. If you let the talent breathe and go, hey, just do what you did that made me want to represent you. Yes. That's probably a good way to go about it. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:29:59 Anyway, look, I love you, Giannis. Tell the people whether they can check out Gianni Long Days. Yeah. We're now up on Apple. Yes, we're up on everywhere. It's Long Days with Giannis Pappas, a podcast. Please check it out. It's up everywhere, all audio platforms, YouTube.
Starting point is 02:30:14 I often ask people who are promoting a podcast when they come on here to tell us one specific episode that you think personifies this show. Last one, episode nine called Headed to Miami Gardens. Okay. Check it out. And the reason I say that is because it's daunting. Yes. To take in a whole new podcast.
Starting point is 02:30:30 Right. But if you go, this episode is what we do. If you like this, you'll fuck with it. If you don't, you won't. And then don't listen anymore. I think it'll help. So the last episode is? Episode nine.
Starting point is 02:30:40 It's called Headed to Miami Gardens. Yo, check it out. And obviously on Instagram, you're posting clips and they're funny and you must be doing some green screen work or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Looks good. I'm working with my buddy Jesse again tonight.
Starting point is 02:30:51 Shout out to Jesse, man. Yeah. Tell Jesse I say what up. But we love you. We support you. And I'm glad that you and Chrissy are still friends because we love Chrissy too. It's all love. It's all love.
Starting point is 02:30:59 And you know, obviously we're going to, you know, bust balls. And I know that, you know, Reddit and shit is going to try to make more about it than it is, but listen, we've known each other for over a decade. It's love. We want everybody to succeed, feed their families. We would have loved for you guys to continue going. We're fans of the podcast, fans of what you do. We try to support as much as we can,
Starting point is 02:31:18 so maybe in the future we get you guys to cozy up again. That would be great. I mean, we'd cozy up any time. I mean, it's all love, so we'd go on podcasts together, do whatever and that's a good thing about breaking off earlier than later that's because you can't come back that's later yeah you just said you like i said we kind of both knew and you know we just kind of went like let's do other stuff and yeah yeah yeah all right my brother i love you that's been an episode of Flavor. Thank you. Good for both of you. Peace. Love you, buddy.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.