Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Flagrant BEST Moments 2022

Episode Date: December 28, 2022

Thank you ALL for a GREAT 2022 - here's a little look back at what kind of Flagrancy we got into this year. See you all in 2023 for even more.

Have you ever been to a furry convention? Oh. What? What? What are you talking about? What? What are you talking about? Oh, what?

For real. We're talking about who you're attracted to, right? Yeah. Do you know what those people do? Yes, yes, I do. He's too high to have a conversation. It's perfect. Oh, it's perfect. Hold on high to have a conversation. It's perfect. It's perfect.

There was a UFC once. No. A UFC furry convention. What the fuck are you doing? I'm trying to tell you a story. It was a UFC once in Pittsburgh. And the day we flew into town was the same day

as a furry convention. So we landed at the airport. Yeah. We get the rental car. We're driving to the hotel. And along the way, we're like, what the fuck is going on? So what did you do? You like hop out and suck their dicks?

What? Jesus, bro. They're animals. Marijuana's not good for everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, if we've learned anything today, it's don't give in to peer pressure. Imagine if some drug addict offers you their daily drug of choice and you never smoke weed. Don't listen to them. Thank you.

Bro. He's much more high than you. I'm not high, but I got a piss. Well, you should probably go ahead and do that. Hold on. So the furry convention. Go. You guys pull up.

Who is it? It's you? Who? I don't that. Hold on. So the furry convention, go. You guys pull up. It's you? Who? I don't remember who was with me at the time. It was probably some of the folks that worked at the UFC. We were probably, I don't remember, but I remember that as we were on our way to the hotel, we were like, why is everyone dressed like a mascot? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, what is going on?

And we're passing by, what the fuck is happening here? And then somebody figured out that it was a furry convention. And by the time we got to the hotel, we became friends with the guy who worked at the front desk. And he goes, dude, I'm so glad normal people are staying here, too. I go, what do you mean? He goes, most of the hotel is furries. I go, what? I go, well, what's the big deal?

He goes, dude, they want a litter box. No. They asked for a litter box to put in the front courtyard. I go, what? Disgusting. They literally asked, they requested a litter box. They were eating all of their food off of bowls. Bro.

I'm like, are you fucking serious? He goes, no, dude, it's like, there's different, he goes, I'm not saying everybody's doing it. He goes, there's different levels. I don't think he meant like cereal bowls I'm just saying we all use bowls It's not the craziest thing Some of these people are like Asians

Doing party drugs And fucking each other while they're wearing their costumes And they never take the costumes off I love that You think that's that crazy? I don't think it's that crazy The litter box is fucking insane They gotta have those Pixar bodies though I mean, that's crazy. You think that's that crazy? I don't think it's that crazy. I just don't like the cartoon. The litter box is fucking insane.

Yeah, they got to have those Pixar bodies, though. The Pixar animals are fire. That's my point. Right? The Pixar animals got the thumb, thumbsters. But I don't like that they're cartoon animals. I like animals. If you're going to dress up like one, be a realistic bear.

Like the one that scared you as a child. What the fuck is he doing, bro? Yo, Mark, what type of bears? You really like rainbow shirt? Somewhere in the Middle East, this guy hired a private investigator in North Carolina. I have no contacts to find me.

And this is just something that happens. Yeah, someone, this happens a lot. So whenever people call local private investigators, they just let us know because a lot of people just want to know where I am for whatever reason. Oh, the private investigators call you directly? Yeah, which now I'm giving away my secrets,

but oh well, I'm in too deep. So he calls us, lets us know. He's like, this time it's someone from Dubai. We don't really know what he wants, but he's just flying to North Carolina tomorrow, and he just paid me to find you. And we're like, okay, cool. And so then the next day he gets there

and then with the private, I have security. So my security went with the private investigator to meet him and my security's just like, why the fuck are you here? Why are you trying to find Jimmy? And the guy's like, I just have video ideas. I really want to give them. And my security's like, fuck you.

Why are you actually here? And he just kept saying it like 30 times in a row. He's just like, I just want to give him this sheet of ideas. And it was just a piece of paper with video ideas. Flies across the world, private investigator, everything. And just like, we don't believe you. And so they're like, he let them, my security, search his hotel room. Couldn't find anything, nothing in there.

Just a suitcase of clothes. And he just literally just did all that to give me a list of ideas. And then, well, my security was like, oh, Jimmy's out of town for three months. and he just literally just did all that to give me a list of ideas and then well my security was like oh Jimmy's out of town for three months I was like did you ever get the fucking ideas

yeah well then and just took it I was like I'll give it to Jimmy and then he gave it to me and it was just like it was like open up a free gas station like open up

that's actually that's a very Middle Eastern idea yeah it was like literally like he's trying to make money off you. He was getting a lick off of you. It was like 30 ideas like that. And then I was just like,

this is actually, watch women read in public or something like that. We did get Squid Game out of that. Bullshit. No. Bullshit. Yeah, bullshit. You guys stole the guy from Dubai's idea?

This was before the real Squid Game. Yeah, no, he wrote it all out. 456 fucking... The screenplay. This guy just hired private investigators, flew down there, all this money, camped out just to give me a list of video ideas. And none of them were good?

None of them were good. Wow. What a loser. What a fucking idiot, right? What a fucking loser. You dumb idiot. You're probably watching right now. I've never told this story publicly.

Now he's going to know that I actually did it. And he's coming back because he knows where to find you. He should know. You read his ideas and they sucked. He's going to find you. He's got money to get an investigator if he can find him. Oh, yeah. This guy's got money, too.

Yeah. Hey, next time, pitch him on ideas. I'm good. I got plenty of ideas. Hire your private investigators. I need ideas. Give me the Dubai ideas. I paid Instagram influencer $1 million

to shit on a glass table. I love you, dude. I kiss you on the lips right now, but you want to do it because you're weird about that stuff. You are a little weird about that stuff. Kissing on the lips, yeah, yeah. How about on the cheek? Yeah, I'd do that. Okay. No problem. Steal it. Go ahead. Steal it. There you go. No problem. Do both sides, or no? Yeah, I'd do that. Okay. Okay, no problem. Steal it. Go ahead.

Steal it. There you go. No problem. Do both sides, you know? Okay, that's fine. Let's do a scene. Okay, okay. Okay.

Okay. Bobby, good to see you. No, I have to say that I found you, you know? Okay. Okay. Okay. No, but you're way too fast. Because I know you're trying to kiss me on the lips.

No, I'm not. I know you're trying to kiss me on the lips. Way too fast. Because I know you're a sneaky motherfucker. No, no, no. Fuck you. No, no, no the lips. No, I'm not. I know you're trying to kiss me on the lips. Because I know you're a sneaky motherfucker. No, no, no. Fuck you. No, no, no. Oh, homophobic.

I see. Homophobic. Oh. Weird, huh? Weird. So when we see... What do you mean by sneaky? Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Dude, did you get that? I got that too. You know how he sent me his dick? Huh? He sent me his dick. I said, I love you, and then he just sent me a picture of his dick. That's love.

That's love. That's not love at all. That's not love at all. That's a cultural thing. And then he just sent me a picture of his dick. That's love. That's love. That's not love at all. That's not love at all. That's a cultural thing. That's not cultural. That's not cultural. Buongiorno.

And we have to lock eyes. You guys are in Italy. You guys are in Italy. You just bumped into each other on the streets of Rome. Let's do the bump first. OK. I'm walking down the street. Oh.

Oh! Oh! Buongiorno. Oh! I figured out a word to write. I figured out a word to write. I figured out a word to write. Very smart. If you saw that, you wouldn't think it was weird.

They're like, oh, that's a thing. No, no, no. That looked weird. That definitely looked weird. That looked weird. I put his hands here so you wouldn't kiss him. Oh, that's right. You wouldn't take a kiss.

But if everyone trusted his theory, it would still sit there wrong. And there'd be spaceships, you know, crashing into moons. Now, is that how you feel about the vaccine and, you know, and AIDS and stuff? What about AIDS and stuff? I trust AIDS. I trust, how do you? Yeah. What about AIDS and stuff? Well, AIDS. I trust AIDS. I trust AIDS. Do you?

AIDS is doing a great job at what it does. At what it does. I'm not saying it should be doing it. Right. I'm saying it's. It's efficient. It's a fantastic virus. Yes, it's efficient.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like 9-11. You had to, in the sorrow and the anger and the rage and the sadness, you had to go, dude, fucking bullseye. Bullseye. I'm glad you said it because I can't. You know what I mean? Thank you. Bullseye.

Both, you guys. Both? Two. Fucking two. And the Pentagon. Are you fucking kidding me? And Building 7. I mean, just... Lord have mercy. Master mean, just, oh. Lord have mercy.

Masterpiece, would you say? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some might say that. I wish they hadn't. For sure. I wish they hadn't. Sure.

But. Because of all the people that died. They really nailed it. They fucking nailed it, dude. Yeah. And I think they see it that way. They can appreciate it. One of my favorite stories about it was there was a documentary about it on pbs after and they talked you know they

tried once before with the with the truck bomb in the one notorious big sang about i think it was 90 like 95 or 96 yeah i remember i was living here and uh 93 so they got the one of the guys they that did it they took them they were taking him they talked to a cop this is a great interview he just had a fucking rain man moment right there i think it was 93 it was 95 or 96 i think what was 93 wasn't that what was that the somalia it wasn't 93 you're thinking of Kuwait, I think. When did Biggie die? 97.

Okay. 1993 was the bombing? Let's go, List. Let's fucking go! The fuck? Oh, I know my bombing. And then 2004 was 9-11. When was the bombing?

The guy that gets the 93 bombing, but not since 2001. Once you have a kid... Morning sex, bye-bye. Yeah. Really? I'm not a big morning sex guy. I feel like that's when you're at your worst.

I used to love it. You're not a big sex guy. I just, you know, I'm asexual. Yeah, yeah. Wait, what do you mean? Why morning sex? Well, just because the kid

ends up in your bed every morning. They're like, wake up before you, you want to go back to sleep, you bring them to the bed you know breastfeeding it's not really sexy yeah you guys did the pregnancy porn too that was wild that's like the one category i don't go to i've never watched it either but she she was so determined she wanted to keep working up until she was like six months in we did one scene where she was so huge and just full of babies yeah that she was just like, you fuck Emily.

I was like, I'm sitting here. I can barely breathe. You took maternity leave basically. But like, okay. So when I was pregnant, it was peak pandemic.

And that was the best time for only fans. Like the numbers were just through the roof. Everyone had their stimulus check. You set the record, right? I mean, those were my record months for sure. Like I was not going to stop working.

Yeah. So it was just, I'm pregnant, but we're killing it with money. And then there are people who are probably extra freaky, want to see the pregnancy stuff. Can you feel the baby kick? Is that weird? Like, you got your hand on it and it's like giving you a pound? You know what I wouldn't want to talk about? And I have nothing to say, but this is it. What am I saying? You can't ask that.

You cannot ask that. Okay, I'm not asking that. You can ask Adam. Did you feel it? Soccer kick to the head. I don't remember. The truth is I really don't remember. Do you guys think you've completely revolutionized how people see porn?

No. In terms of stigma? I think you have. I think the OnlyFans revolution as a whole has. And I think she was very, very early on to be like a normal person who just started in the OnlyFans. And like the level of attention that she got when she first started was insane because it just really felt like you were a normal person who chose to do OnlyFans or Private Snap at the time. And there was definitely like something about that. Whereas I feel like the public is maybe a little disillusioned to that now

where they realize like, oh, they can make a ton of money. That's why they're doing it. Yeah. I think maybe it's like the number hits and then american greed like that's like baked into our dna we start saying oh that's a reasonable way to make money like everything like like we're totally fine like with a pharmaceutical company we're totally fine with i'm sure you guys have gone through these like moral gymnastics where you're like oh there are things that should be scrutinized but they're not and this thing is very heavily scrutinized well a lot of only fans girls get to like you know 20k a month or something and they're like, oh, I've made it. I'm done. We're the greedy ones who are actually

like, no, how are we going to take this to the next level and really make a real fucking business out of it? And then that's like the mentality that led us to like, well, maybe we could do a podcast that's also a porno. And this is Plug Talk. OnlyPlugTalk.com. Okay, so this is, I mean, plug everything. I am, I, because I do it.

No, it's fine. Okay. Plug Talk. Plug Talk. Interview fine. Okay. It's fine. Throw that in there. Plug talk. Plug talk. Interview the porn star. Uh-huh. Have sex with her afterwards.

Yes. Keep the mics on. No, we switch to the boom mic, which is so annoying because it would be nice to just fuck, but you got to deal with the headset thing. I'm a journalist, bro. We've had real, you know, we have a superstar on the show right now. Yeah. Okay?

I have my glasses somewhere But I did real research man I did like real In depth Nardwar shit with you Alright so what do you got Like Nardwar

Says something that No one knows about the person Do you have something You played for the 49ers When you were 11 years old Bang What Your dad was the assistant coach

What Yeah Shit And you hate when people Tickle your belly button Bro Your dad was the assistant coach. What the fuck? Yeah. Oh, shit. And you hate when people tickle your belly button. Bro. Is it true? This is good.

Yeah, yeah. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. No, no, no. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.. Come It was funny. I've seen him knock people out. That's a little annoying. Well, you're on the hook side. That's true. I got to be careful. Info from my brother?

No, I don't even know your brother like that. Okay. Okay? Yeah, I could have. Okay. I also know another thing. You don't like when people touch your toes. That's true, too.

That's tough here because we were into toes. Yeah, exactly. You got a real toe thing. You don't like when people touch your toes. That's true, too. That's tough here because we're into toes. Yeah, exactly. We got a real toe thing. This side of Rome loves feet. What if they ask you, they're going to be like, oh, Schultz, what's your position on foreign policy? What do we do? Well, it depends what foreign policy.

Gas prices. What do we do about that? Gas prices are going up. Yep. A lot of people. It's affecting a lot of people. Can I take this one? Sure.

Gas prices are going up. Lower them's honestly i think that's brilliant actually guys this is so easy i can't believe you think this is hard give me another one he's killing it okay uh what about like uh trans equality in america you don't think he support trans he watches euphoria he supports gays he got the same length pants as gerard carmichael that's a good ass point actually what else what else what else what else uh hot button topics big issues i have to be ready i have to be prepared for this or like refugees like would you take refugees and stuff like that if they can get here yeah if they find a way if they could i mean if if they get turned away or you know in a boat in like the black sea and then end up over here that's that's impressive yeah that's a good point

yeah i'm with that pirates and shit that's how columbus started this whole shit i think i think you should be able to arrive to america by boat oh i like that you can only come here by boat by boat yeah i love it yeah okay yeah like who's gonna stop you Like if you just pull up To the East River Like I don't think Anybody's gonna say You can't be here Yeah

Yeah I think that's good They will say that though Say again They do say you can't be here If you just pull up Who's to say It's a Puerto Rican guy fishing There's no one

That's gonna stop you From like entering the country Come by boat People aren't coming by boat No they are Who Cubans They don't have boats

What do they have a boot if they had a boat they could actually make it into this country effectively i'm supportive of this i've really solved every problem al is there anything in your community oh yeah they've been complaining about the racism stuff yeah yeah did you forget you're a black person i work for the government well yes black lives matter how do you feel about black i think they matter okay you think they matter okay i think they matter i don't think we should be able to touch black people at all and i'm only gonna hire black secret service why because they hold the most secrets yeah they don't snitch they don't snitch at all so wherever we fucking go nobody's gonna know

okay okay what else employment's going up that's good i like that yes another hot topic uh you call it a hot bucket topic yeah it's not chicken now how do you feel about chicken how do i feel about chicken? How do I feel about chicken? We are going to make all the things that endanger black people illegal. Fried chicken. Sugar. Police? That's not a big issue. We're going to start with fried foods and sugar and see where we go.

Because black lives matter to me. You just lost the black vote. How? You just lost the vote. You took away everything we love. How can I lose the vote if I don't let them vote? Oh, that's also a good point. Right?

So who's allowed to vote? Say again? Who's allowed to vote? Whoever votes for me. Oh, okay. Oh, dictator. Dictator. Again, I'm not trying to be president over here.

We got to change some shit up. We got to be able to compete with the Chinese. Another one. Go. Oh, what about universal healthcare? That's a good one. I don't believe in it. Why?

I've told you this before. What? Because Americans shouldn't have to pay the healthcare for the whole universe? That's a good one. I don't believe in it. Why? I've told you this before. Because Americans shouldn't have to pay the health care for the whole universe. That's a good point. That's a good point. That's a good point. Okay. That's ridiculous.

We can't cover aliens. That's why it's so fucking expensive. Maybe if we just started with America, it would be affordable. Okay, so what about American health care? Obviously, I'll provide that. How? How are you going to pay for it? Go to the hospital. They fix you.

They never said no. Who's paying the docs? Don't pay them. That's a good point, actually. No, I actually think this through to the end. Watch. I've thought this through.

Keep going. What happened? Don't pay them. Yeah, but these are your docs. What are they gonna do? They're mainly your people. Well, it's about time my parents stopped being proud

of doctors and not me. Now look how fucking broke they are. All right. Dumbasses. Also a good point. Stagile idiot. This is all solved, really, when you think about it.

Now, what happens with your medical bills when you die? Nothing. They get passed on to? I think that's student loans only. I think you're confusing different loans. What do you mean they get passed on to the American public? It's a free rider problem. We all have to absorb the shit that's not taken. And, not only that, it gets wiped out of your credit now. So it don't even affect your credit to not pay your medical bills.

We got free healthcare. Canadians don't pay for it on the front end. We got to pay for on the back end it's the same yeah what fucking losers to actually pay your medical bills dude yeah don't be a sucker bro that's a sucker in the hospital take their fucking shit and then leave and then when they call just don't answer yeah you act like you ain't got cholera you gotta ghost them bro this is what you gotta do i can't believe that like you could ignore a girl who's calling you but you can't ignore the hospital dude fuck the hospital the hospital 2024 what the hell are they gonna do they're gonna come to your door some nerd and smocks what are they called

that was the first time i ever did molly and how was i was on stage and it was the first time I ever did Molly. And how was? I was on stage. And? It was the craziest fucking thing. So during the pandemic, we would have shows at Helium. Yeah. Helium is a comedy club in Philly. Yeah, Philly. They would let me book the show, bring our friends,

and then hang out after. It was the only place we could go to a bar. So Big J would come down every week, and he would bring Molly. Right. We would all do Molly. And then it was like me, Norman,

and Big J in the green room and he was like, come on guys, do it. And Norman was like, I don't know. He was so afraid of it. He was like.

I was like, dude, do it, you motherfucker. Love, love, I feel love. He took it and freaked out and left.

He got on the Chinatown bus back to New York. He took it and freaked out and left. He got on the Chinatown bus back to New York. He was on Molly on the bus. No. Oh, no. Martin Norman riding the Chinatown bus is the saddest part of that whole thing. It's sad. What the fuck are you doing? I took it after I went because I was hosting the show.

And Jay was like, here, take some. So I was like, all right, fuck it. And I took some. And then while Jay was closing the show, he was like, Shane, come out here. And I was like, here, take some. So I was like, all right, fuck it. And I took some. And then while Jay was closing the show, he was like, Shane, come out here. And I was like, oh, fuck. And right when he said, Shane, come out here, I just felt a wave of like, and I never did it like that. So I like felt it.

I was like, whoa. Literally, like it makes your knees buckle. I was like, oh, shit. And he brought me on stage and he was like, I couldn't talk. I got on stage and I was like, oh, shit. And he brought me on stage, and he was like, I couldn't talk. I got on stage, and I was like. I was like, everybody, I'm on ecstasy right now. And then they were all like, yeah. Going crazy.

So I felt that, and I was like, oh. I was like, yo. I was like, dude, that's so nice of you guys. And then Jay left. He left me on stage. Yeah, and I just had to i couldn't talk i literally was like guys i have to go i'm so sorry how long ago is this uh it was first it was during the pandemic it was right when the pandemic that's the first time ever tomorrow that was the first

time but yeah oh shit yeah then we did it every other week we did it every other week. We did it every other week for like four months. That's crazy. Why do I like feet? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I need this answer as well. Big time foot fetish, guys. Big time. I don't fuck them. Okay, don't make that up.

That we know of. So there are two reasons, okay? Left foot, right foot. That's all you need to know. There are two reasons okay so there's true fetish okay

and in the clinical sense a fetish is something that somebody actually requires in order to get aroused okay so so you know so fetish can be

like people talk about fetish light or people talk about but then there are true fetishes where people actually require feet or, okay, let's think about the extreme fetishes, right? Okay. So this is the dark side of this. Okay. So let's think, like, let's put feet there, but it doesn't have to be dark.

But then you could think like feces, dead bodies right bestiality this is dark stuff exactly it's an immediate so we have a circuit we have circuits in our brain that immediately give us the reaction you just give you put your head back it's kind of like get me away from that topic get me away going in yeah yeah right so our brain tends to put us into approach types, which we call appetitive, like smell, in, the odor, taste, you want to get close to something, or aversive, right? Animals have this, humans have this. Okay. But if you think about the classic fetishes, all of those, feet historically had the potential to be sites of infection, right? Historically, not now, right? We wash our feet, we have socks, we have shoes. Dead bodies, obviously very infectious. What do we do with dead bodies?

We preserve them when we get them into the ground or we cremate them depending on your leanings, whatever. But you try and not get infected by them. This has been known a long time. Things like feces are contagious, right? We know this, that it's putrid or vomit. These things are putrid, they're infectious. Can we just keep it at feet? I don't like being looked at. This is a harsh way to start off the discussion. But if you think about it,

all of these tend to evoke for most people an aversive response. You want to get away from it. So there are people who have this appetitive approach to things that are very infectious. And a lot of the fetishes at their extreme reflect a kind of, I don't want to say miswiring, but a flip in what normally happens, right? When you see vomit, you don't go, hmm, I'm going to take a sniff of that.

But when you smell fresh-baked cookies, you're like, hmm, I'm going to take a smell. Yeah, that's how I feel about feet. Exactly. Cookies. Okay, so the thing here is people don't develop fetishes to like water bottles or to tables or to light posts. It's always to things that, so there's this kind of edginess of, it's like they're sort of dancing between aversive and appetitive. And that's what makes it edgy. Leather is another fetish, right?

And, you know, this has to do with like animal hides. People think, now a lot of this is speculation because we don't really know how all of this evolved. But, okay, so that's extreme fetishes. But then there are people who have like, they like a nice, clean, beautiful foot. Yo, the way you said that. Right, exactly. Do you see me go up head and up or whatever that was? Or the nice, or the contour. I leaned in. Or the contour. Or the contour. The contour, right? His corduroys are short now.

He's like, I guess, you know, butt pussy was too good. Yeah. He was just like, why would I? I mean, imagine your husband is fucking his homie. He'd never come hang out with you. Yeah. What's the upside? You're less fun to hang out with.

He's still having sex. Yeah, exactly. You got to make that shit weird to people. Tight, tight butthole. Yeah, dude. It's great for him. Now, was that one of the things that Ataturk used to, like, really rally the Turkish people?

Yeah, boy pussy for everybody. No. Turkish pussy would be hard, though. Like, there's a lot. Turkish pussy? Turkish pussy, you got to get through it. A Turkish delight, bro. Oh, by the way, that's actually funny, though,

because, like, in Turkey, there's still this concept called a pink slip. Because everyone has to serve in the military. Every able-bodied male has to serve in the military either after high school or after college, depending on, you know, if you go to the college, you go to the officer's rank, which is a little bit shorter. If you study abroad or something or if you work abroad overseas, you can do foreigner service, which is, like, super short. It's, like, 28 days. And there's always, like, you know, financial compensation. You can, like, pay your way out of it, which is what I did. And so, basically, one of the ways of, like, not having to serve is either you're, like, too fat, right?

Too fat to serve because you'll fucking literally die. Yeah. Or you have, have like a disability, like a medical disability. Like? Or, exactly. Or if you're getting fucked in the ass. No, literally.

You think I'm kidding? This is how Trump dodges a draft. What if you're... Just being gay is not enough. If you're a top, they don't consider that enough. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if Abraham was receiving or delivering. Yeah. So Abraham Lincoln If you're a top, they don't consider that enough. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if Abraham was receiving or delivering.

So Abraham Lincoln, if he's top, if he's not verse, if he's just the top, he's not getting out of service. Wow. Because fucking an ass is not considered medically gay. Wow. But getting fucked in the ass is. I tend to agree with that. And it's less gay. And this is like a thing.

I tend to agree with that. And it's less gay. And this is like a thing. Like, this is literally a thing where, like, you have to get photos taken of you getting fucked in the ass, and then doctors look at it. No. Doctors have to look at it? Yeah, it's called a pink slip. And it was a thing in existence. And this is all to avoid 28 days in service?

This is all to avoid four weeks of service? What if you're just, I mean? What if you're just gay anyway? If you're already getting fucked, might as well. Now, how did you say that you got out of military service again? On the internet.

For my next tour, which would be called Steve-O's Gone Too Far Tour. Transition. Close. You wouldn't cut off your dick, though. I'm not going to cut off my dick, but I'm absolutely getting fake tits.

Yep. Yep. Right. Now, I don't want to give away too much. What size and where are you putting them my my my last part where are you putting the tits in the proper position because there's up down on your back i know director told me to get them on my back like a camel but up down like that i know but as i told

our jackass director that that will limit me and how much potential there is for bits to use with the tits. If they're on my back, it's like there's no— Well, you're definitely going to get cummed on your tits, so wouldn't you rather that on your back? There's no way you're not going to have one of your boys cum on your tits. That's not an idea that I had on the list, but— Get a bigger bucket, my friend. It's good But now, here's

Wait, can you add to that? Can you get the Brazilian butt lift as well? I would say BBL You gotta go BBL with them I am not ruling that out as a possibility But And fortunately I have Until next year

To really make it masterful. To map this out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To write it. How big are the tits? Dude, my last podcast guest was the botched plastic surgeon, Dr. Terry Dubrow. Okay. He says I can go D. So you can go C then.

What's that? He says you can go D. You could probably go C. C is smaller than D. I know. Isn't he the shitty surgeon? No, no, no. He's had sex with one woman. It's okay. He doesn't know anything about sex.

This Dr. Terry Dubrow podcast was the most fucking fascinating shit ever, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're talking about what's it going to take to break one, and he's like, you can get your implants with extra saline, like way extra saline. So if you do get punched by like a professional fighter in the titty, it would rupture. And you want that? Well, come on. And we worked out so much creative with this guy. I was like, if we got like a capri sun straw

can i pop it in there and fucking actually take a sip oh you filled it up with capri sun yo exactly can we decide what goes in the tank but yeah i did speak with him after that yeah we can we can at the very least dye the saline if not just fucking use capri Sun. Oh, that's far. So now I want to. You don't get sepsis? No. And here, maybe. Here's the thing. What's so deeply important to me.

Yeah. Is that in taking this from sort of the jackass format to like the live comedy format where like it's actually a comedy show and each bit gets paid off by the video clip right now i unlike a jackass movie where everything just goes in the bag like for my comedy show i really needed to make sense and to be clever yeah the way the bucket list is motivated by my relationship with my girl I'm picturing that the gone too far tour is motivated. Can I ask you a question? No disrespect at all. Yeah. What size breasts does your girl have?

She went from the committee to to legacy. You're going to have bigger breasts. You're going to have bigger breasts. This motherfucker is crazy, bro. She's going to have bigger tits. Most of it is so fucking crazy, bro. She's going to be so jealous. That's divorced.

She's going to be so jealous. You're a wild boy. You're going to do one piercing shit? Yeah. I mean, what? I mean, so? You tried all clothes. She's fucking hanging on it.

Is that not, though, like a legit joke that, like, it's, like, faced with a man having fucking legit fake tits. Yeah. The more embarrassing thing would be the nipple ring. Yeah, that's way gayer. Alright guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I got to make sure you're getting all your nutrients.

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Get them lady boxers for your girl. A nice little stocking stuffer. You know what I'm saying? Let's get back to the show. Also, you never sold lemonade as a kid? I did. My dad was so, I sold as an adult. That was one of the most disappointing

my dad ever been to me. I came back from college one year. I sold lemonade with Jamil. Right outside my house. Are you fucking serious? I sold lemonade with Jamil right outside my motherfucking apartment. I swear to God in my life.

How old were you? 20 maybe. So like. How much did you make, yo? We made like 80 bucks I was like I made more doing this shit Than I do

You know Working or something I don't know We made some money I was selling lemonade We had an extension cord Coming out the window To plug in our

Boombox Sold lemonade On the motherfucking street And were people walking up to you Like oh you seem a little old Nah They thought that shit was lit There was some kids

Around the block selling it We didn't give a fuck Trying to undercut us Really? Yeah There was some kids around the block selling it. We didn't give a fuck. Trying to undercut us. Really? Yeah. There were some kids around the block trying to undercut us. You bought them out or what? No, I didn't buy them out, but I went over and gave them hard stares.

I gave them some hard looks. How much were you selling them for? One cup? Dollar. Okay, that's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, that's not bad at all. Dollar.

Hit them up with a buck out there all day sweating. We should do that now. Yeah, I'm down to do it. That's not bad. If Jameel's here, he can vouch for it. Is Jameel here? That's better than minimum wage, though. What? That's what I said! 80 bucks a day? Let's make it 80 dollars and we're out there for like two hours. Get a split at two ways. Get a split at two ways.

You made 80 cups of lemonade. It's not even that much. 80 cups of lemonade is a lot. You hear motherfuckers feel bad when you're an adult selling lemonade. They let you keep the change and shit. They give you $20. It's like, all right, man. Good luck with that. Special needs kids.

The kids don't need it. He needs it. Yo, come on, man. Fuck them kids. He's like, damn, Macklemore down bad. Right? Real talk. We was out there selling lemonade, slanging.

Slanging that juice. That's crazy. Slanging that juice. That's citrus. Yeah, lemonade's not good. I was slanging citrus, bro. 19 years old. Maybe 21. Slang that juice. That's citrus. Yeah, lemonade's not good. I was slanging citrus, bro. 19 years old. Maybe 21.

Might have been 22. Might have been 22. Legal drinking age? Yeah, legal drinking age. Slanging citrus. I slang citrus. Who the hell is this? Me, motherfucker!

And why didn't you go get an actual job? Say again? Why didn't you work at a real job? For what? I ain't no sucker. What was I going to do, bro? What was I going to do? Sell someone else's lemonade? I was like, work at a real job? For what? I ain't no sucker. What was I going to do, bro? What was I going to do? Sell someone else's lemonade?

I was going to work at a diner, sell someone else's lemonade? Or I could sell my own lemonade. I'm an entrepreneur. He's a Dane Dash. Yeah. Bro, you want me to go work at a restaurant and sell other people's lemonade? That's a good-ass point. Motherfucker pulled up, can I have a glass of lemonade?

I should have done this to my goddamn self. You know how upset me I'd be? Oh, my gosh. Come on. Wow. Don't that make sense? I should have done this my goddamn self you know how upset me I'd be Mark come on wow don't that make sense and who don't want lemonade in a hot ass summer blistering heat

yeah slanging citrus uh huh this was before Me Too what does Me Too have to do with lemonade I don't know

what is that it has nothing to do with it I don't know there was there was before Me Too though okay that's an important detail and Deuce was more thirsty back then bro I don't know. That has nothing to do with you. I don't know. Cups of lemonade. That was before me, too, though. Okay.

That's an important detail. Dudes was more thirsty back then, bro. Dudes was chasing women on the street, out of breath. Oh, people were on the street more. Women, sundresses, looking crazy. Dudes just walking after them. Thirsty as fuck. Lemonade, hell yeah.

Patna. That's what they were saying. Were you in the deep south? I might have been. Shit. That's crazy. I never heard about this. you in the deep south? I might have been. Shit. That's crazy. I'd never heard about this. Yeah, so I did that.

Jameel and I, we did that. Boom box, blasting music. And you only did it one time. Say again? You only did it once in your whole life. If not, I did it for a little bit. My dad was disappointed in me. And you know me.

My dad's my hero. I can't be disappointed in my dad. I can't imagine he was disappointed in you. So he was like, he would go like this. He'd shake his head. That shit broke me to this day. I, I. What? This is a real story.

And I tried to. I can't believe you really saw it. Why that's crazy to you? You sold drugs. That's a good ass point. Way less embarrassing. No, that's way less embarrassing. That's man shit.

Come on. I sold drugs too, motherfucker. Like way less embarrassing. That's man shit. Son, man. I saw dogs too, motherfucker. Like a housewife. You're a criminal. He's trying to help sex offenders get thirsty. No, there was not sex offenders. They was trying to get numbers on the street

like we all did before Tender Grind and Hinge. Good point. You know, man. And so what happened? Your dad was sad at you, and then you said, all right, I'm going to pack it up. Sorry, Jamil. And then you dissolved your business relationship?

Yeah. We split up the bread. right, I'm going to pack it up. Sorry, Jamil. And then you dissolved your business relationship? Yeah. We split up the bread. I think I did a weekend of it. Or maybe it was like a week or something, but we were making money. And then we split up the money and I was like, I think I can't do this anymore. I'm disappointing my father too much. My dad had his head in his hand at dinner.

And I was trying to be like, no, dad, I made money. I made like $100 or something like that. We were out there for two hours. He's like, why can't you do something honorable like comedy? Exactly. And you're like, yeah, I will do that. Dad, he would respect more.

But selling lemonade, he was harping. And it was right outside his home. You know what I mean? People know him in the neighborhood. They got to see his failure of a son selling fucking citrus on the streets, dude. Wow. Yeah, I didn't realize what that was like emotionally for him.

Every time he'd leave the house, he got the fucking music bumping from our boombox, Jay-Z. Dun, dun, dun. He listed it at Jay-Z. He puts in 11, man. He does it, man. You know, turn a quarter to a fab mil to have. Yeah, you're not a businessman. Two fit, 125 to 250.

You're a businessman. Exactly. I was out here. Mike's hard. Yeah, you're not a business, man. Two fit, 125 to 250. You're a business, man. Exactly. I was out here. Mike's hard. Wait, really? Nah, I wasn't selling hard lemonade, but we should have done that

for the upcharge. You got to start that. Schultz's Lemonade. Make it now. Make a million dollars and then buy your dad a house with it and be like,

look, this is the house Lemonade built. And you go, son, I'm so proud of your lemonade venture. Wouldn't that be beautiful? He'd be forgetting, bro. That's the thing. So thank God he probably didn't forget That lemonade stand

That's one of the last memories he's going to have of me Did you ever do anything after that lemonade stand? Yeah man Yo that's dope For real dude You know the craziest thing about it I sold lemonade You guys won't believe this No, you know the craziest thing about it? I sold Lemonade.

Yeah, you guys won't believe this. We're listening to rap music selling Lemonade. I sold Lemonade to this little kid. He would come by, and his name was Cole, okay? Cole. And he ends up being, like, this fucking, like, music video director or something like that. Yeah. And his name is Cole Bennett.

He's quite popular. Oh, yeah, he's a YouTube kid. And he, I think, ripped off Lyrical Lemonade. Oh, because his thing is Lyrical Lemonade. And we sold Lemonade while we were listening to rap. Oh, fuck. I really started Minions. He looked at you and thought There's a less gay way to do this

He did it probably less gay But my shit was fire You made a sign? Say again? You made like a whole sign To let people Like with a marker So I think we eliminated

Stan's name too I've never been more disappointed Than you ever Why? It was fire bro Like It's summer dude You can't believe it. It's summer, dude.

You can't call them nerds anymore, son. What's nerdy about this? You were selling lemonade as an adult, man. Hell yeah. To girls, too. No free cups. No free cups. I ain't give not one free cup.

That's so crazy. Why is that crazy, bro? Why is that crazy, dude? What's crazy about this? People are thirsty. What what's crazy about this people are thirsty what is so crazy about this this is more or less me weird adult has a lemonade stand 500 views on youtube yeah that's us but in the streets with rap banging what what I should have stuck with it. You know how lucrative the lemonade business is, bro?

You never had some Crystal Light? You never made some lemonade? Yo, think about it. What happens when you add lemonade to iced tea? Arnold Palmer. Makes it better. What happens when you add lemonade to ice? Lemonade. Makes it better. Makes it more watery add lemonade to ice? Lemonade?

Makes it better. Makes it more watery, actually. But you already got ice. You eat, you drink lemonade without ice? You just have a cup of lemonade with no ice? Well, I don't know as much about making lemonade as you, so you tell me how the process works. I thought it had ice in it.

I always put ice in lemonade for these motherfuckers. Yeah, on a hot summer's day. On a hot summer's day, they get an ice cup and some lemon fucking nades. Why is this crazy? Y'all never had a side hustle? That was my main, but you never had a side hustle before? Yo, we got to have pictures. Jamil's not here?

Text Jamil and ask him. Let me call him. Hold on. You calling him? I'm calling him. I don't understand why it's so crazy. Yo, Jamil, I'm on the pod right now, okay? Andrew just made an insane

claim, okay? True or false? When you were 20 years old as an adult, you sold lemonade on the streets of New York City. Yeah, 100%. Yo, Jamil, no way. I told you. Tell them, Jamil.

They trying to act like we wasn't slaying citrus on these streets. It was the summertime. We were broke and we were trying to put out a show. That's the best idea you guys have come up with. Yo. They had a great location. Yo, we had prime location. We was out there slaying citrus.

Did we give up away one free cup, Jamil, no matter how bad the women were? Not one. Not one. A lot of people came up. It worked really well. Yeah, it was ironic. Sorry, get the fuck out of here.

It was ironic. How much money? How much money did we make? Dead ass. Honest, honest. I gave what I it was ironic. I'm sorry. Get the fuck out of here. It was ironic. How much money? How much money did we make? Dead ass. Honest, honest. I gave what I thought was honest. How much? In one day?

Yeah. Probably like $300, $400. Get the fuck out of here. I thought we made like $100. We made $300, $400. He was scamming you. He was scamming you, bro. It wasn't that much.

It probably was like $80. $80. I said $80. I said $82. I said $82, but we were there for two hours. That's $40 an hour. You couldn't get a job $40 an hour in New York back then. About $20 an hour.

Yeah, because you had to split it. I had like 80 bucks, and it worked well, man. Yeah. This is 18 years ago. There was not a lot of things that you have now. You know how much $18 was? Or 20, how much? $40 was 18 years ago, bro?

That's your drinking money for the week. It's like $60 now. It's like $60 now. Son, it's like $60 now with inflation. You could buy a movie at the picture show. You could buy a movie at the picture show. Yo, Jamil, Jamil, do you remember what you spent your money on? You saw Star Wars. That's crazy.

Did you invest it? What did you do with it? I don't remember. Son, it was. It was yours. That's why I want to know. I don't know. Honestly, I do not know

maybe we threw a fire party where we had some Zimas probably bought about $60 worth of lemons oh mimos you can eat for days exactly

you know what's really interesting they're mad quiet right now now that you're validating this shit when I was saying everybody laughing at me now that you're speaking some sense

these broke boys bunch of brokies you better join Hustlers University now that you're validating this shit when I was saying everybody laughing to me. I'm so ashamed, son. Now that you're speaking some sense, these broke boys, bunch of brokies. Jamil, I'm ashamed, son. You better join Hustlers University. All right, Jamil, I'm out. Peace. Oh, my God. To present my fourth piece of evidence.

Okay. Give me your fourth piece of evidence. A little chickity-ditty. We do owe you an apology because this turned out to be a great combo. Thank you. So you were right in that regard. Thank you. I'm the best. But so far, you're getting beat on all this. I mean, what Jay a great combo. Thank you. So you were right in that regard. Thank you.

I'm the best. But so far, you're getting beat on all this. I mean, what Jay-Z song were you listening to when you were selling lemonade? PSA, public service announcement. Okay, because there's a Jay-Z song called Poppin' Tags. It's a good song. In it, he says, act a damn donkey like the Pilgrims when they pop the tag on the Indians' home. What did the Pilgrims do?

They bought Manhattan, you fucking idiot. They didn't buy Manhattan. Yeah, they did. It was a bad deal, but they bought it. They bought it. They gave them a fucking seashell and some necklaces. I would say they stole it. And then dumb tomahawks took that shit. I would say they ran back to Brooklyn, bro.

I would say they stole, the Pilgrims stole the land from the Native Americans. No, they literally purchased Manhattan. Yeah, exactly. They purchased. I think it was like 20 to 20 bucks. You guys are on record saying. Native Americans didn't know what money was and didn't get the idea that you could own land because they didn't feel like they owned it. But they did give them something for the land.

For Manhattan, at least. Yeah. They got a great fucking deal. I would like to, I'd still like to stay on the top. Do you not believe that? No, I do. No, I think they stole. I think they stole.

Yeah. I mean, you look like you stole Pocahontas with your haircut, John Smith. Okay. That was great. Listen, we should do some patrione questione. Yeah, we should. Because you broke boys need

to get your money up. Son, how right was I? $80 on the money, son. You're selling drugs. That's a great point. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Why is Nerdy? Why is Nerdy selling lemonade, son?

He's a grown-ass man selling lemonade. But what's nerdy about it? I don't understand it. It's a grown-ass man selling lemonade. But what's nerdy about it? That's what's nerdy about it. What's nerdy about it, son? Is Mike a nerd?

I agree with you. Is Mike a nerd from Mike's Hard Lemonade? Yes. That guy that made me a nerd? No, I don't understand why selling lemonade is nerdy. I don't get that. I agree. It's childish.

It ain't nerdy. It's nerdy. So if you a kid and you sell lemonade, you a nerd? No, because you're a kid. You got no pussy. So acting like a kid is a nerd? It's a little nerdy for a kid to do to be honest. So if you're an adult acting like a kid, you a nerd?

So if you come to the podcast dressed like Woody from Toy Story, you a nerd? Is that what you're trying to say? Hold on a second. So if you act like a kid, you're a nerd. That's what y'all trying to say right now? Is that it? That's what they're saying. I'm just awfully quiet.

Did Andy walk in the room? Did Andy walk in the room? That's good. Oh, fuck. I better sell some. I'll sell lemonade right now. Yo, I'll set up a lemonade stand right now. Mm-hmm.

We make $1,000 selling lemonade right now. I got a special recipe for my lemonade. If you want me to put on the special recipe, I'll put on the special recipe. We'll sell all the goddamn lemonade. Is it a discount code for your special, too? You're like, yo, here's a discount put on the special recipe, I'll put on the special recipe. We'll sell all the goddamn lemonade. Is it a discount code for your special too? You're like, yo, here's a discount code for the special. We're not selling the special anymore.

We sell the lemonade. He just found purpose again. Listen, listen, listen. I'm hype. Let's go. Yo, hey, do y'all want to start a lemonade company or not? I'm in. I got experience.

Wait, really? Yeah. Oh, shit. lemonade company or not? I'm in. I got experience. Wait, really? Yeah. Oh, shit. I know the market. I know who drinks lemonade. I can look at a motherfucker and know if they're going to stop for some lemonade or not. Okay. Where are we going to set it up?

In Soho? You want to set it up in New York? I'm going to set that shit up right outside Jack's White Freedom. Compete. What? You would rather buy lemonade from a corporation? How do people stop buying lemonade from a grown ass man? Can you imagine he fucks a girl and then two days later she sees him selling lemonade on the street?

I fucked you? Hey, hey, hey, hey, and she get in charge, yo. And she get in charge. And she get in charge. What do you do for a living? What do you do? And she get in charge, yo. And she get in charge. And she get in charge. What do you do for a living? What did you do? We didn't have jobs.

I was in college. I'm a student. I'm a student. That's what I say. I'm a student. I'm a student of the game. I'm a student of the game. I'm a student of Hudson's University.

School of Hard Knocks. That's cool. Your boy was out here slaying his citrus. And y'all are jealous. So when you're going back to college, and people say, what did you do this summer? Did you tell them I sold lemonade? No. Internship. Internship, bro. That shit was unpaid.

So we might have been older. We might have been older. We might have been older We might have been older How many months ago was this? How many months ago was you doing this? I'm trying to put it together Because usually in the summer I would be out at the beach

So I'm like Why the fuck was I in the city? We might have been in our 20s Oh my god Nah I think we was in college I don't know why we weren't At the motherfucking beach yet Did you go back home every time?

Yeah Except for one He was selling lemonade bro I don't know why we weren't at the motherfucking beach yet Did you go back home? Yeah Except for one He was selling lemonade, bro He had lemonade to sell Y'all didn't sell anything? You didn't do a lemonade sale? I did a lemonade sale No, I did not

I did it in a cul-de-sac There was no foot traffic Yeah, that's dumb I set it up My mom was like, well, you're going down there with all that? I had the sign, I had the whole thing You thought people was going to drive to get a cup of your lemonade? I sat there for three hours, didn't make a sale I had the whole thing. You thought people was going to drive to get a cup of your lemonade? I sat there for three hours

and didn't make a sale. I want to be where the people are. Ariel shouts to you. He did it in front of me. Yeah. You don't got to shout out to fucking where we live

and shit. The whole spot. Yeah, but yeah, you didn't do a lemonade stand. No. That's crazy. If I see a lemonade stand now,

I'll go and buy lemonade. I bet you would if you wanted to talk to fucking people. What was crazy. If I see a lemonade stand now, I'll go and buy lemonade. I bet you would, wanting to talk to fuckers. What if it was a grown-ass man selling lemonade? Yeah, it was. It's funnier that way. Why are you assuming it's kids? It's funnier when you're a grown-ass man.

You did it because it was funny, right? You did it because it was funny. Yeah, I thought it was funny. Just give it away, then. Why are you selling? Why are you charging? I was broken. It was funny.

You know what I'm saying? Your boy wanted $40, so I could have a nice little parlay that night. Yeah. Your boy was parlaying. We would parlay. Yo, we would. Why did it take two people so many days? So what are you doing?

Two people is hilarious. You could have done strips motherfucker you could have sold lemonade all day you could have done it morning and night when the bars open up listen

it don't take put the sugar it's more fun that way bro I like doing shit in groups it's more fun I need some help I need some help

yo hold on I need a breather let me get a cup of lemonade. That was the rule. You couldn't drink a lemonade. You couldn't drink. Never get out of your own supplies, man. No, for real.

We were not allowed to. People come up and be like, how is it? I wouldn't know. We don't drink our own lemonade, bro. You get hooked on that shit? 100%. It's so much sugar. Oh, my god.

This is crazy. You just be up enjoying getting a tan while y'all was working fucking minimum wage jobs, peasants. You know what I'm saying? Making the man rich. Yeah, y'all was making the man rich. I was the man. You realize. I was a small man, but I was a man regardless.

Oh, my God. She would go there and they'd be like, yeah, torture these motherfuckers. Which they did. They did it in Kenya. They did it in Malaysia. Anytime there was like, especially if there was like a communist uprising or anything like that, she was there doing PR

while the fucking forces were out there wearing their disrespectful ass outfits. They wore shorts and shit. I hate that. You're really big into military uniforms. I do love military uniforms.

I think like if you're wearing, if you're getting domed by a guy fucking wearing shorts, like that's so disrespectful. The Chubbies Army is here. God if you're getting goned by a guy fucking wearing shorts like that's so disrespectful The Chubbies Army is here. God damn it. I got killed Fucking sunburnt cap Red as fuck just yeah summer heat is like yeah, mate. We have to do it It's bullshit, it's like fortnight dancing on someone's corpse

You couldn't cover them shits up, dude? What the fuck? It's just fucked up. And then they wear the cap with the little fluffy thing on top of it, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys have a cap like that. The Turks, they have crazy shit. They have the fezzes and shit, too.

Yeah, the fezz, right? Yeah. That's Moroccan. Oh, is that Moroccan? No, Turks have the fezz, too. They're a version, right? Yeah. What is that? Is that just like a version of the yarm Moroccan? No, Turks have the fez too. They're a version, right? Yeah. What is that?

Is that just like a version of the yarmulke? It's such bad headgear. It is, right? It doesn't stay on your head. It's so weird. You got to clip it on and shit. It doesn't even look that good. Why are you trying to look like a conehead?

Yeah. I never understood that. It's got a little tassel on it too like you're graduating. It's just silly. Yeah, I never understood the... I've never been a big fez boy. Yeah, this. Yeah. Oh, this is with the guy with the ice cream.

Hold on, hold on. The guy to the right looks kind of... He's kind of pulling it off. Oh, just like... Oh, not him. Here we go. The Moroccan up there? Yeah. Who, this man? Yeah, the Moroccan guy's doing it. Old school. That guy's doing it, dog. Wow. That guy's doing it. That is a fit

for sure. I mean, the blazer's crazy. Elijah Muhammad wore some shit like that, didn't he? Right before he killed Malcolm X? Crazy, dude. Okay, explain to me why they don't just give you ice cream and turkey. Dude, the point is so fucked up. Yeah, I don't understand it. A betrayal of everything, dude.

It's just like... You're like, oh, man, I want a delicious treat. And Turkish ice cream slaps. They have this weird thing. It's like a gummy consistency. It's actually really good. But they got to make you earn it then. That's all.

Yeah, dude. It's fucked up, though. They'll do the flip where he'll double cup it. You have the cone in your hand, and then you're like, oh, finally. And he's like, nope. Fuck you. You can get out of it, actually actually if you prove you get fucked in the ass i walk around everywhere with the phone tranny porn i call it but yeah tranny porn i call it yeah that's the greatest thing ever and you can say that because you're into it love it i love it bro i watched it why do you like you know explain what the

chicken kiss my girl on the mouth right after i come i can't say it right on the mouth derek's girl is here by the way so we got to get her perspective is that why you don't want to call her samantha you want to call yourself sometimes i call it samson no way i love training point i fuck with that shit the long way the strong way the long way really okay okay now why why now we've talked about this before why why do you love tranny porn so much? It is, we all watch porn, and it's the best of both worlds.

It is the reason we all watch porn. Don't use your hands like it's art. Well, because I have to let you know. I don't want to believe this is hate speech. Like, no, I thought about this. I wrote it down. This is all scientific. Go, go, go, go, go.

We all watch porn. Look at Al's face, bro. Al, do you watch porn? Al, do you watch porn? Son, this is worse than you're done. Because it's right. I'm sorry. I'm right all watch porn. Look at Al's face, bro. Al, do you watch porn? Al, do you watch porn? Son, this is worse than your Denzel. Because it's right. I'm sorry. I'm right all the time, my nigga.

Okay, go, go. Okay, go. We all watch porn. Two reasons for both genders. Basic. With the guy, he's got to be in shape, and he's got to have a leg of a dick. Period. You don't want to see no meat.

Nobody wants to see no jiggling, and you don't want to see no small dick. Period. Point blank. With the woman, she's got to be a bad bitch, fat ass, nice titties. And tranny porn has found a way to like Dragon Ball Z go tanks that shit and fuse

the best of both worlds. Okay, so you got big titties, good shape, but also big dick. Huge. A small dick that's gay. I don't watch that.

If she's got a small dick, I'm like, get this little dick nigga out of here, bro. You're not even a woman. You're not even a fucking woman, dude. You call yourself a woman with that dick? Are you kidding me? You call yourself a woman, bro, with your soft ass? Nah, bro. You got to be hard dick, leg dough, titties out and a bad bitch and i'm i'm all in

men are done bro so so so if there's a guy for example that's into training porn but it's with smaller dicks what do you think about them that That's fucking gay, bro. You want to see small, who wants to watch porn and see a flaccid small dick? A flaccid small dick is kind of disgusting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you see it on camera, it's fucking disgusting. And you see it like getting fucked and it's flopping and it's like, I'm already gross.

Now, you make that shit this. A little different. And it looked like this. Now I'm like, wow, this is artistic. Yes. This is kind of beautiful it's like when you see those paintings in front you know what i mean like of a naked people yeah yeah yeah

this is beautiful now how did you break this down to to your girl i told her hey i like training porn actually no she saw me uh go on stage once and it was like 30 minutes of me talking about how great it was and And she was just like, oh, that's what you're doing in there? Sam, that's when you found out? Yeah.

Yeah, she found out. She found out. She saw Sam one night and was like, that's what he's doing. Cause she knows I'm in that bathroom, bro. But you know,

that's my time. I let her watch her shows. When she's watching Bridgerton, I don't say shit, nigga. I don't say a fucking word. I let her watch Bridgerton. That's her.

Well, yeah, but at least the shit I watch is good. The shit I watch, nigga. I don't say a fucking word. I don't watch Bridgerton. That's her. You compared us to a nigga. Well, yeah. But at least the shit I watch is good. The shit I watch gets views. I mean, Bridgerton gets views, but not the views I'm talking about. Wait. What kind of numbers are you putting up? I'm talking, nigga, 25 mil. Every bit.

He's watching. Every bit, bro. He's watching Mrs. Beast. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I believe I've watched Be honest fucking with me, dog. Who's watched that shit? Al, we know you're lying. But anybody else? No, no, no. You don't watch. I believe that. No, no, no. I believe I've watched a trans woman fuck a woman.

That's what he likes, I think. I like that, too. No. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, two women that's lesbian. I need another man and this woman. So he was.

I believe them, bro. I believe in trans. I believe them. They're women. I have to believe them. You can't get I believe them, bro. I believe in trans. I believe them. They're women. I have to believe them. You can't get married to me, bro. I have to believe them.

Okay, good, good. Look at Akash. Akash, I see you're trying to put it all together. It's so funny. That's what I need to clarify. That's what I need to clarify because I know what Akash thought. I know what Akash thought.

He thought it was a trans woman fucking a woman. So he was like, oh, yeah, I guess that's just like the old joke. That's just more tits. It's the same shit, more tits. Yeah, I thought it was the whole time. No, no. He likes. I've never struggled with mental math so much in my life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go, go, go, go, go, go. So tell me what it is. Yeah, yeah. What are all the parts? What are all the parts? I like a male that is not trans. A porn star, a dude. In shape, huge dick.

Fucking a beautiful woman. With a dick resting on top? With big titties and also a huge dick. And that is the kind of porn that I start my day with. Wait, so there's two dicks in this scene? Yeah. A man and a woman. Son, bro, no.

Look at y'all, bro. Y'all niggas in the pad, bro. Y'all playing Nintendo. I'm on. Fuck, I got Oculus on. You might be right about this. Explain it to Alan. Really get Alan to understand the joy of it. No, because you're not getting Al to understand the joy of it. No, because you're not getting it.

Explain the joy of it. Because you're thinking it's gross. Yeah, yeah. Explain the joy. It's not gross. If you're thinking about a nigga that looks like me with a wig on, that is gross and gay. There has to be a beautiful woman. Just like all porn.

There has to be a beautiful woman. She also has to have a gigantic penis. But why? Because I believe in women. I believe in the rights to have a gigantic penis. But why? Because I believe in women. I believe in their rights to have fun and do whatever they want to do. Are you believing in human rights? Oh, I'm sorry. Al doesn't believe in human rights.

No, I don't. Apparently, I don't. What do you mean? You can come on up and be that way. Wow. If it's a beautiful woman, right? Everything about her is a woman. Everything's beautiful.

Shut up. And then you get down to the pussy, but instead of a pussy, it's a baton. That's weird to you? But you got so many options, though. Like, to pull up shit. Yeah, there's white ones and black ones and Asian ones. All kinds of options. You said huge dick Asians out the window.

No, bro, they packing. I've seen it. Yeah, they're up. So wait, Al, that would be weird for you? It's just not my cup of tea of porn Have you watched it ever Let's say for example you're seeing a straight Porn star male

Suck a beautiful women's huge Dick I'm cool That's kind of hot It ain't gay It ain't gay bro you sucking a woman's dick That's the straightest you can do it that's the straightest way to suck dick I think

maybe I'm crazy of straight ways to do it is this a bit though I'm always right I said it I'm always right I'm good at everything now has this created any issues in your guys Relationship

Is there Do you ever worry Sam About Not being able to Fulfill his desire Yeah you don't have Enough dick for this guy No

No no I hope I can't Fulfill his desires I'd rather him you know Wear himself out In the morning Bro that's She loves it

Oh you need it Too much So you need it Too much Yes So you need it too much. Yes. You need a nut every single day. I nut twice a day minimum. Minimum. Bare minimum.

And then the other days depending on the day. How much time I have and how much fun the day has been. Y'all comics, bro. Wow. And I support that. Yeah. And you support. What do you mean by you support that?

Like. You keep nutting. Bro, I come out the bathroom, relax, chill. I hug her. I don't attack her. Question, question, question. There's no attacks in the morning, dog. She knows what it is.

Question, this might be a little too much, but then would you prefer if she wears a strap-on? No, that's gay, Al. Why are you making it gay? Why are you making it so gay? That's gay. You're making it as homosexual. I'm recreating, bro. I'm not going to lie a gay. You're a gay. You're a gay. I'm recreating this guy.

You're a gay. I'm recreating this homosexual. I'm recreating this. Nah, bro. I'm not gonna lie, dude. I'm recreating this. You're fucking gay, Synerg. Yeah, yo.

Yo, the way you ask questions is wild gay. Finally. Finally, you guys. Finally. Thank you. I've been trying to come out all this time. Derrick, I feel you, dog. I feel you, dog.

I thought he was gonna get mobbed on today, bro. Okay, go, go, go, go. Ask your question. No, that was the question. Ask your gay-ass question, Synerg. That was the question. mobbed on the day, bro. Okay, go, go, go, go. Ask your question. No, that was the question. Ask your gay-ass question, Seth. That was the question. Because it recreates that scene. My mind is racing right now.

I could talk about a bunch of abstract thoughts. Go! This is what we like here. Yes. Can we get in the weed or what? Yo, you give me the weed, I'll be fucking flying with abstract thoughts. No. No, but you figured out teleportation.

I want to hear this. I really think I have. This has dust on it, too. No, no, not that type of dust. How long has this been sitting there? Wait, wait, wait. I'm not hitting it. No, you are.

I'm not. Do it. Do it. You tried to dust it off. I love this guy. You hit him bad. You ready to talk? Come on

No because No wait hold on Let me explain this Teleportation Go go go Because also dog I'm not smoking this If you don't smoke it

Alright Let's fucking go Just one hand We can't do this every time We can't do this every time We got enough I've never smoked online They've never seen me

Really? They've seen me high They've never seen me smoking This is your Elon moment Things worked out for him afterwards. I love you, Schultz. I'll do it here. Fuck it.

But okay, teleportation. All right. All right. I think he just teleported. I'm locked in here. That was it. Oh, yeah. Come back.

Come back. That was it. All right. This one. Hold on. There's going to be a point, I believe, where human beings will be able to, this is absurd, but it will happen, upload their consciousness onto X. I don't know what it is, blockchain, internet, whatever the fuck you want to call it, whatever thing that doesn't exist yet. The consciousness will have the ability to learn, grow, and adapt based on past learnings, growings, and adaptations because of AI, artificial intelligence.

Machines learning how to learn. Cloning also illegal now, but cloning— For humans. For humans, yeah. You could clone a fucking dog in Korea. You know that? I bet they love that. I bet they do.

Oh, my God. Why do they love it? Why do they love it? I don't know fucking kfc needs something what's pumping cloning is a very real technology that already that already exists it exists we we just choose to not clone humans because it's fucked up. But people have done it with their dogs. Ellen cloned her dog. What?

Yeah, you know this. She cloned her dog. Her dog passed, and then she cloned it. They cloned a sheep in Scotland. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so that technology exists. Also, the uploading of your consciousness will exist. Fact.

Will exist. They've started this. You know that. Not consciousness, but they've like created, they use like someone's social media, a guy whose wife passed.

They use her social media to create like a version of who she would be online. Yeah. Yeah. Is that it right here? It was Barbra Streisand cloned the dog.

Ellen. No, look at Ellen's dog too. Maybe, I guess they're clones. They both could have. Okay. Okay. So eventually,

this will be tricky I need to iron this out Before I pitch it In my presidential campaign But Eventually when he would find A morally sound way To clone

Their flesh puppet This will only be available To like upper class people Who have the means To Holy shit To clone yourself, you upload your consciousness somewhere.

Redownload it. You grow up and then you download the consciousness back to yourself. You don't have to grow... Your body would be in parts of the world that you visit frequently, right? So I could get to France right now

with my clone. And then stop! Oh, fuck! It's Dropbox. It's Dropbox. It's Dropbox for your flesh box. You got 10 bodies everyone

bingo I live in Miami as well when I want and I'm in this hyperbaric chamber and when I want to be there I'm fucking there bingo

you station your body and your consciousness you can clone it but also modify it if you want to bingo in Miami you can have a Cuban

what were we even talking about COVID let's go baby okay this is interesting you can have a Japanese Schultz? I want a Japanese Schultz.

Hold on a second. No, you can't. Why not? You can edit it. Gene editing. What, do you speak Japanese? Or be Japanese? Well, I have to...

I'm talking about clone. No, no, no, no, no. But you look Japanese. I'm talking about Schultz. I'm talking about Schultz. Yeah, yeah. So he's Schultz, but he's cloned, and then you gene splice...

No, because when you up... It would have to work like this. When you upload your consciousness and it, it beams to your next body, the one that it came from needs to be the exact same. No, no, no.

It needs to like turn off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't have two operating at the same time. You can't, you can't fuck everything up.

That's when it could get nasty. That's when it's bad. And you know what? We won't be able to do it. Wait, but you could download someone into someone else's little flesh, right? Essentially call them sleep.

So like you go to Europe to be in your European Logan Paul, I could re-download into your body. And then murder somebody in his fucking body. Bingo. We just made the best horror movie ever.

Why would you murder? I wouldn't murder. No, but it'll happen. This is where things get tricky and why this probably will never happen, but I figured it out. Like, we don't need

to worry about it. The question is, how do we upload our consciousness to some sort of server? What were you talking about? Present, bro. How do we upload our consciousness to a server? Can I tell you something? Yes. I watched a clip from Rogan the other day.

Oh, boy. We're about to figure it out right now. Talk about it. It's going to be good. I took a couple hits. It's over. I just want to let you know. And it's covered in dust. It's over, and it's covered in dust? Yeah, glow for it. Glow for and it's over I just wanna let you know and it's covered in dust

it's over and it's covered in dust you're a glover and I just wanna let you know I'm depressed for two days after I smoke weed and my so for my honeymoon

I'll be in Venice just moping around crying on a gondola for you sounds so bad for you

woe is you dude my life is so hard bro did you know I'm gonna be on on that gauntlet. Eating fucking shrimp scampi. It's sad. Here we go. No, I was watching...

Here's the other abstract thought, and now it's abstract. Bro, you got to hit this. Oh, yeah. No, we're all hitting it. Yeah, we are. Okay, good. No, okay.

The UFO, the UAP phenomenon that is happening right now is actually fucking absurd. And we're not talking about it enough. Fuck me. No, it's good, dude. You're going to be so fucked up. Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. He's going to be cut. Oh, that's fantastic.

Do you even hurt? You got to take the reins when he gets hot. Oh, God. You can't be wearing a white spindle. Hold on. You said UFO and then you said UAB? Unidentified. UAP.

Unidentified Aerial Phenomena. Okay. That's what they're kind of calling him now. I have a theory on this. Please tell me because I'm so fascinated by this subject. Very simple. Obviously, there are UFOs here. People go, why aren't they coming down here and then destroying us?

When we send our astronauts into space, we don't send them with weapons. There's no nukes. There's no guns. There's nothing. They're just looking to see what's out there. No, but we're still exploring. That's the issue. They're still exploring. Exploring what out there. No, but we're still exploring. That's the issue. They're still exploring. Exploring what?

Us? Our civilization? Yeah. You think they're interested in our bullshit, man? We travel with a wheel. Okay. Oh, this is a conspiracy corner. Let's go. Let's talk about it. Okay.

They travel with a wheel, yes. We travel with a wheel, yes. Or we travel with a wheel, yes. This is the angel thing. But still. Aliens look at us like ants. But we're also. Sort of, sort of. People have ant farms.

People are fascinated. The other day I looked at a. Yeah. Let's rewind one second. I'm, for this conversation, a little bit more based on like what we know. Okay, go. Because you're assuming that the UAPs are extraterrestrial. I'm giving that credence,

but I also kind of think it's us trying to flex to other countries. Like, yo, we got some shit. Behave. But you know, got some shit. Do you know what kind of shit

you're talking about, dude? No. These things have technology that defies physics. The laws by which, that govern our entire fucking existence. Some of these UAPs straight up defy everything we thought we knew. And so I was watching Rogan in this clip and this physicist— Bob Lazar.

No, he's the Area 51 UFO. Do you know him? I had dinner with him. You had fucking dinner with Bob Lazar? Yeah, yeah, yeah. First time I hung out with Rogan. Yeah. He took me to dinner with Bob Lazar.

What's he like? Believable. No fucking way. I believe he believes. I'm not saying that he's right. I've met people who believe they believe, and it's just not reality. Yeah, and there's people who believe that the Earth is flat. There's people—

And I went to the convention. They believe the Earth is flat. Wild or what? Hold up. Y'all don't know. There's people... I went to the convention. They believe the earth is flat. Wild or what? Hold up. Y'all don't know about this? I know. I didn't know you went to the convention. I didn't know you went.

No, this... Yo, why would you? You two buried it because it's a conspiracy theory. Go. This is one of my biggest accomplishments. Yo, I made a flat earth mockumentary. When I found out there was a group of people, there could be one in this room for all I goddamn know. To your right. You have no idea. The white guy. No, no. No, see, he's going to play it cool.

We know what you think. Wait. Cliff it. Cliff it. Dog, when I found out there's a group of people who genuinely believe the earth is flat, I said, I must infiltrate. I found out they had a convention. I went to it under the guise that I, Logan Paul, believe the earth is flat and I am interested in becoming a flat earther. They thought it was good for their movement. I went. I ended up speaking on stage.

Came out as a flat earther. Coming out of the flat earth closet, dropped the mic. They all cheered. It was a mockumentary. We filmed the hippies. There are people who genuinely think the earth is flat, and they all really believe

that the earth is flat. Hearing their logic sometimes, I just don't. I can't follow. I can't get behind. They don't have any real proof for that. What I will say about Bob... They have theories. Technically, all we have are theories. So, I mean, it can be backed up by others.

Nobody— Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a small difference. All I'm saying is with the Bob dude is that he worked on something. And I believed that he worked on something that we couldn't describe how it works through our understanding of physics. For sure. For sure. So, there was that part that I had to get through. describe how it works through our understanding of physics, right? For sure. There was that part

that I had to get through. It wasn't like whether he saw aliens or not. It was like, did he work on some shit that he doesn't know how to describe based on our understanding

of physics? No. He convinced me he did. That's all. Still at dinner, he was talking about it. No, because we went, because Rogan was going

to meet with him the next day. Oh, before the pod. So yeah, so he's like, do Rogan was going to meet with him the next day. Oh, before the pod. So yeah, so he's like, do you want to come to dinner with me to this guy, with this guy? To kind of vibe out before they went on a program together? He said on the pod that he did it because he thought that I was like a good truster, like if people were bullshit,

like he could like trust me, like a good judge of whatever. But I thought it was just like we just did a pod, he's like, you want to come to dinner? But he didn't convince me aliens are real, but he believed whatever his life is. Does that make sense? Yeah.

Yeah. He didn't even want to argue it. I know, which makes it so hard. It's tough to poke holes in his stories because they stay the same. You believe in aliens, huh? For sure. What do you mean?

Dude, I think anyone who doesn't believe in aliens is fucking stupid. Why? Do you know how big the universe is? The answer is no. None of us do. None of us can comprehend how actually fucking big the universe is. Just about. Damn near, brother.

Damn near infinite. And so. I am so fucking out. Every time, bro. Every time. Bro, it just hit me when I went like this. Go on that.

You hit the EZ finger, too. I analyzed myself. After I did it, I was like, oh, weird you did that with your finger. The creation of F. Yeah, dude, that painting, Michelangelo. Queer. He was queer. I can't.

Michelangelo was queer. He just has a presence, though. That is true. No, didn't he have a presence? By the way, I had a lot of fun when I was younger. Bro, I am too aware of everything that's happening. That's what we've done.

That's what we've done. Oh my God, man. I was pushing my knee down and I was like, oh, you're almost an Indian squad or whatever. Okay, yo, back to Alien. No, no, no, no.

Back to Alien. This interests me too. You're an overthinker. I am one to Mike and I came to say hello. That was horrible. Giving him weed.

I'm higher than I was on Rogan, dude. Something on that dust one. Dust is great. Am I losing? I hit the shit. I'm like, oh. Am I fucking losing? Back to aliens, bro. Come on, back to aliens.

He's talking about the Fermi paradox. Time's running out with him. Yeah, yeah. Woo, just go. Yes, bro. Yo. Just go on that. Fermi paradox, bro.

The universe is infinite. Yo, what? And expanding. And it's infinite and expanding. These two smoke. That's why they can hang. So there's a likelihood. Statistically.

Statistically, it's almost fucking impossible. Holy shit, dude. That is not some light out there. I forgot you had a yellow one. This is not yellow. Or whatever that color is. That's green, though. That's green.

You called this shirt white earlier, too. Yeah. Is that white? It's like light pink. No? Yo, damn. I thought I was colorblind. I don't see color.

That's a thing, bro. I'm that woke. No. Yo, damn. I thought I was colorblind. I don't see color. That's a thing, bro. I'm that woke. Yes. Despite it being you, it's me. What? What? What is going on?

Oh, he's teleporting. Oh, he's back. Did you leave? Dude, where did you go? Where did you go? No, I just, I was wondering what happened here.

What happened was that you made me smoke a dusty one, right? And then we got a little bit high. And then I started thinking about every single thing as it happens. Yeah, I know. I know the feeling. You're describing like the first time being high. No, the first time I was high, this did not happen. But now, it's like I'm aware of every single thing that's happening.

Yeah, because you're a hyper thinker and an over analyzer. So why would I do this? It's probably why you're an overanalyzer. So why would I do this? It's probably why you're a good comedian, dude. But why would I do this drug? Don't. It's a bad decision. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Some people can't handle it. Yep. Yeah, you can't handle it. We warned you, too. What do you mean? You know what the fucked up part is? He told me. I told you.

You told me. I told you. Because I thought it would be funny, and now I'm like, damn, bro. What do you mean? You know what the fucked up part is? He told me. I told you. Because I thought it would be funny, and now I'm like, damn, bro. What do you mean? It's the most funny. No, because now I'm worried. About what? All of it. Why would you worry?

I'm worried. Can you elaborate on that? I just want to make a good program. Yeah. You know, he was just young. That's already happening, bro. He was young having fun. But no, that's already happening.

Right now, we're giving unique, authentic experiences. What I was telling you before you guys made fun of me is the green one, I didn't know you had. The whole time. No, I knew you. No, I didn't know you had the whole time. And they brought the reds. Exactly. And they were drinking out of the red.

And all of a sudden, after I got high, it switched colors. Okay. Yeah, that was a lot. That was a lot to handle. Wow. I actually feel you. That was a lot to handle. If I was drinking this, and then you got high, and it was a different color, and knowing you only bought red for this program, I could see how that could trip you out.

Yeah, it did trip me out to an extreme place. He brought the green. It's the best mixer, he said. Oh, this is the best mixer? I can't say anything like that. Come on, Dove. Oh, shit. Drink responsibly.

I can't say it. Oh, because it's the best fucking mixer. Can I say it? Actually, let's try it out because it's the best mixer. What would you mix it with? Me? Yeah. Yeah.

What? Hey, it with? Me? Yeah. What? Hey, what'd you say, bro? Yo, dude. Hey, what'd you say, bro? No, I said mix it with rum. Oh, rum. Oh, rum. Come on, guys.

No, he's just talking about rum. Rum, dude. Yo, mix it with rum. He's been in Puerto Rico. This is total synergy. I thought that you were indeed talking about sperm. No. I thought that you were saying a word that's slang for sperm, which is fine.

If you mix prime with sperm, I'm sure that that would be fine. I'm sure some of his girls would. Yo, this guy's crazy. I mean, you've never like, you know, hydrated though. Yo, when one of your girls grabbed the prime

off the fucking counter with her middle toe like that, like she's stuck. Yo, when she's stuck, yo, when she,

when she hit it with the raptor claw from fucking Jurassic Park, yo, when she Jurassic Park the prime off the counter, yo, remember? Yo, do you remember when she, prime off-counter. Yo, remember?

Yo, do you remember when she... You don't remember that? Do you remember when she... I'm watching that dinosaur show on Apple TV. They tap that boat. It's a predatory hunting. They do, but do you remember when she put the condom on you with both her feet with that middle toe and she just fucking rolled that shit down like that? What does a bat do? Go through the door. And she just fucking rolled that shit down To the left Rick Ross

Just made songs about it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll all be behind you. Make bangers. As long as you're making bangers. Like, we got into Jesus for a little bit. Jesus. Because of one of his bangers. Yeah. Jesus did walk. Women dance to a song calling them gold-dicking c***ers.

You don't think you can get Jews to dance to that? Yeah, we all dance. It's a new way. Make bangers, Kanye. Get off Twitter. Yeah. So not pissed off at all? You didn't care?

Uh-uh. I was just like, something's up here. I don't know. Also, I asked a crowd about it. I don't read the news. I just intentionally get away from it for two years now. So I'll ask audiences, like, what's going on in the world? Yeah.

And one of them's like, Kanye's homophobic. I'm like, what did he say? Or not homophobic, whatever the other one is. The other one close to you. Antisemitic. Antisemitic, yeah. And they were them was like, Kanye's homophobic. I'm like, what did he say? Or not homophobic, whatever the other one is. The other one close to you. Antisemitic. Antisemitic, yeah. And they were like, he said. He's super gay to hate the Jews.

Yeah, right? He's super gay to hate the Jews. But I was like, what does that mean? They're like, I think he means his agents. And I was like, oh, I've been saying that for many years. They're your Jews. Yeah. When you're upset, you're like, go talk to your Jews.

Tell them to get you a break from the road. You know? And even if they're not a Jew, but they're into Jew arts. Yeah, when you're upset, you're like, go talk to your Jews, tell them to get you a break from the road. And even if they're not a Jew, they're in the Jew arts. Yeah, exactly. They're the Jews. So he's just like, I'm mad at my Jews. Why do they look like Jews? Also known as the dark arts. It's just like, we're good at being agents. I don't know.

You're like, I'll get you some money. Like, sweet. You're good at that. Go get it. You can say it. Yeah, I can say it. Exactly. It's not the worst thing in the world to be good at making money. Yeah, I don't think it's a bad thing.

Yeah, who's making that a bad thing? I think it's, yeah, when does it get bad? It gets bad when it's like you're organizing in a way. They're taking my money. Yeah. Well, that was a funny thing. Be better with your money. Fucking Catholics, fucking goys.

I'm loaning your money. I'm not taking it. But that's the thing we were talking about when it comes to the Jews running Hollywood. It's like, well, they haven't exactly made themselves heroes. Right. If they do run Hollywood, where's the Jewish superhero? There are none. They're still the villains.

Oh, you're right. Like Magneto is Jewish, survived the Holocaust, and he's still the bad guy. Wow, you're right. Holocaust survivor, bad guy. He's a bad guy. I didn't even think about that. Isn't that crazy? Wow.

The Germans put all the cool stuff in him, so maybe there's something there. You would think he would just be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd think he would just be like, let's get revenge on Germans. But he's like, let's get revenge on all the boys. His power is to control metal, but is that just to get the money closer? Because back then, a quarter was worth it. It's gold? He hides it in his helmet. That's the most racist.

That's the most inflexible character. That would be the actual Magneto. He's just collecting chains. He goes, go in by wishing well. Is that Trevi Fallon's just empty? Yeah. Who is this guy? He's like, he's just a shitty superhero.

He's my lawyer, actually. That's crazy. That's how they got him to unlock his powers, by moving a cord. Is it? That was the very first thing they made him do. Holy shit. It's crazy. That's how they got him to unlock his powers, by moving a coin. That was the very first thing they made him do. Holy shit. It's crazy. I told you, my buddy Paul, when I was in middle school, this kid, I don't want to say his last name, but he was this Peruvian kid.

And there was this kid, Howard. This is fucked up, but there was this kid, Howard, who was this Jewish kid. And every day during lunch, we'd go to Subway to get sandwiches. And Paul would put a nickel on the middle of the table. He'd be like, watch, watch, he's going to go for it. He's going to go for it. Just watch, just watch, just watch. And I would come back with his sandwich, and Paul would just stare at him.

You ever see someone put a mouse in a snake cage? Yeah, and you're just like. So there is some, I guess, I don't know, real shit there. I don't know. I don't think Kanye's doing anything. It's just like overhyped. Really, yeah. Yeah, people are like, he's just anti-Cenob.

It's like, I'm not seeing it. I don't know. When does it become a problem for you? Are you just kind of like numbed all of it? He's not doing anything. I don't know. He's not doing anything. He's just like expressing a little disinterest.

It's like, it's fine. Same thing, remember Mike Cannon, whatever his name is? Mike Cannon? Not Mike Cannon. No, no, not Mike Cannon. Nick Cannon, the older one who looks younger. Mike Cannon does edibles and film specials. Not an anti-Semite.

Yeah, Nick Cannon got in trouble for it too. They tried to take a show. Like, who gives a fuck? It's okay. Why didn't you get any paranoia? They're not doing anything. Yeah. It got real bad once.

This isn't that bad. It's just us celebrities saying like, Only us. It got real bad. I thought it. I was following that dialogue. I'm saying. He sounds like a reasonable guy.

I've been waiting for this take for three weeks. Hey, Al. Can't black people say the same thing? It got real bad once. Yeah. Different now. Do you think that there is a, like, an oppression Olympics that black people and Jews are fighting for the gold? No.

Jews just got involved. They're kind of winning. Black people got it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's crazy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's a hot take. They're winning in terms of? The oppression Olympics. Jews are winning? Yeah. No way. Black's the number one. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's crazy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's a hot take. They're winning in terms of?

The oppression Olympics. Jews are winning? Yeah. No way. Blacks are number one. Oh, come on. Blacks are number one because Asians tried. Stop it.

Asians tried. And then everyone was like, shut up, dude. No one cares about you. Yeah, we weren't buying it from the Asians. Yeah. More stories about Jews, but blacks who won the oppression. Why is that? Why?

I don't know. I wonder. I guess people write stories. Yeah. Write stories about Jews. I don't know. I wonder. People write stories. Yeah. Write stories about Jews. I don't know. Hey, hey. Learn how to write.

You think blacks aren't winning the paid Olympics? The impression Olympics? Absolutely not. Wow. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. That's a wild take. That's a wild take.

That's the wildest take that's ever been on this podcast. Yeah. I thought... Kazi just said, y'all run everything, and he's done. But he's still here. He's still fineest take that's ever been on this podcast. Kazi just said, y'all run everything and he's done. But he's still here. He's still fine. No, he's not. Nothing's off Spotify.

He's being talked about non-stop. All his money's gone. Not all his money's gone. All his deals are done. He's done. He's done out here. I just wonder, I think that that's the amount of people... A NASCAR drive guy drops the N-word and people celebrate him. Which one? That's done out here. I just wonder, I think that that's like the amount of people... A NASCAR drive guy drops the N-word

and people celebrate him. Which one? That's NASCAR, though. You gotta think about it. It's NASCAR. It's a different world. I'm just saying. Well, there's not enough

black people in NASCAR. Wait, wait, but has anybody, you gotta have an example of somebody who said something bad about black people who's also done. I mean, Megyn Kelly

is the example I always use. She asked about blackface and then immediately she gets kicked off the air. And then gets a new show? No, she has her own show. No, she's doing her own thing. She produces her own show. Oh immediately she gets kicked off the air. And then gets a new show? No, she has her own show. No, she's doing her own thing. She produces her own show.

Oh, she produces? I thought she was on NBC. But it's not, either way, it's not easy to go after either one. I think what it has to do is how many group,

how many of those people are in the industry. So for example, you can't say anything about black people in basketball because even if black people don't own the basketball teams,

they run basketball. They run. Donald Sterling. Exactly. Please just don't take as many pictures with black people. Yo, that was crazy. In a way, it's even more racist. Like, don't even be in pictures with them?

Yeah. That's a crazy thing. That was wild. He was like, you can fuck them. Yeah. He's like, nothing's going on for them. From a rich white guy, old money country club perspective, he was saying, like, I'm progressive, but I don't want to deal with my not progressive friends.

My friends are not going to get it. I don't want to deal with their racism. It's like the gay at Thanksgiving. He's like, just say you're my friend. It's fine. You know I love you, babe. Just come on. Yeah, I don't know, man.

I think it's like how many people are in the industry and then you have to respect them. And maybe that's the idea about representation. No, you know why the industry is hella Jewish? Why? It's because you have to operate at a failure level for a while financially. And so like if you want to be an agent or a manager,

you've got to work for, it used to be 450 bucks a week, tons of overtime, no overtime pay. So who can live on that? You need someone funneling you money. You need a rich person funneling you money. Oh, shit. We had money, so we were able to be like, go follow your dream. Now, is there ever

this feeling like, all right, you know, Akash, for example, being a comedian as an Indian, he should be an engineer, he should be a doctor, whatever. Being in front of the camera, is that looked down upon? Did you ever, were your parents ever? No, they just didn't think it would work. They'd be like, no, what a pipe, what a pipe.

You know, I'm sure for all of you guys, it's like, you can't do comedy. That's like a wild, celebrity's in comedy. No one we know could do it, you know? So that, but once I started making a little money, or I got my first commercial, they were all like, oh, sweet. And they're 100% like, oh, wow. Were your parents different, though, because you were raised Orthodox?

Well, first I had to get out of that. Yeah, so I'm like, what was that like? We did a little research here. You found the Orthodoxy. You weren't, you're like a born-again Orthodox. Yeah, when I was little. But you started out as just regular. As like conservative.

Conservative. And then like in third, fourth grade, my dad's like, let's get religious again. What were you doing in third grade? Oh, you know, two fucking hookers. I was like, I was fucking giving it to these babysitters, bro. They didn't even know. No, but what happens in like the fourth grade?

So suddenly it's like, oh, hey, remember Halloween? Fucking try to keep a memory of it because we don't do that anymore. It's pagan. That was the worst one. Yeah, what's the deal with that? I had a Jewish friend growing up and I wanted to do Halloween with him and his parents were like, nah, you can't. That's the worst one.

Costumes are expensive. I just said dress as a Jew. Like, that's perfect. That's scary in my neighborhood. Exactly. They're coming! They're changing the neighborhood for better or worse. They're buying up the neighborhood.

What's the Halloween thing? It's pagan, but I remember switching to a religious school and then the teacher asking like what some, I guess Columbus Day. She goes, what's this day? And I was like, you know, you know something? I was like, it's Halloween. And she was like, October 20th. And I was like, she's like, no, it's Columbus Day, but what's this day and I was like you know when you know something I was like it's Halloween and she was like October 20

and I was like she's like no it's Columbus Day but also we don't do that and I was like wait what do you mean she's like yeah

we don't do Halloween it's pagan damn like what's pagan you guys have your own Halloween yeah poor him it's great you're supposed to get drunk

religious Catholics don't do Halloween really what are you talking about no Jehovah's Witness we break all of them it's so lame because it has nothing to do with religion anymore you're not actually worshipping devils but you're saying Religious Catholics don't do Halloween. Really? No, Jehovah's Witnesses don't. We break all the rules. It's so lame because it has nothing to do with religion anymore.

You're not actually worshipping devils. But you're saying you're devil worshipping. But that orthodoxy is, I'm by the book. By the book, yeah. So, you know, definitionally. Yeah, you can't pick and choose. Okay, so how do you get out of that? You go to yeshiva. Went to seminary for a couple years.

And then realized I didn't believe in God. Why? It just wasn't in me. It's just like, why do you not like tomatoes? It's just like, you just think about it, and you're like, it's not in there. But you were reflecting. There was a moment where you were just...

Yeah, I was like, oh, I don't think I believe in this. Drugs, anything help? No, no, I just, there was this, I wanted to turn off a light on Shabbos once, and I didn't do it, but I was worried about people. It's in the special a little bit, but like people going by my window in Jerusalem, and I'm like, I'll get in trouble if they see my light go off. But then it just like, for about a year I struggled. I was like, why would I care about

the people seeing me? It's not their law. It's God's law. So he has to take that up with me. Yeah. That's who I'd fear, not these people. And I'm like, and then I'm like, maybe I don't really believe in them. Like I always say, like if you you're jerking off like if your dad's in the room you're not just gonna jerk off because he's like what are you doing but oh my god like i didn't know you were real like you're positive he's real so you just you don't do it you know but like if you weren't sure you're like i don't i don't know what they say but it's not a real thing you know it had nothing to do with that light. Yeah. And I just didn't believe in it.

So I had to like, I had to make a hard decision to get out. Yeah. There's words that you thought were fine a few years ago and not just not okay anymore. Words Jake Paul thought were fine a few years ago, apparently. Apparently not so fine. Maybe he was in a song. Who knows? But like, but, but I think, and I, Charlamagne made this point, point But British people know there's certain words

That have different meanings here than back home Cigarettes There's a cigarette word Back home is something crazy But it's not like we look at drill rap When they're saying it, we're like You gotta change that It's a little bit, it's arrogant

It is quite crazy It's quite crazy Stop speaking the way you speak It is the most English thing to do. You're going to change your language. Colonial. It's colonial. It's colonization right there.

We're not going to let you colonize Beyonce. A black woman. A black woman. That's fucked up. That is fucked up. Yeah. It's, I don't know. I feel like with music, it's freedom of speech, isn't it?

It's, you're open to just say and do within reason anyway but like to say and do what what you like but yeah i don't know like i i guess with beyonce she's got you know a certain type of audience and she has to try and police her audience and yeah if that means changing a line you got i guess there are people here suffering from spaz that are were upset about it What do you call them? Spazers? I have no idea. That's a porn sign.

I have no idea, bro. I have no idea. This is just mind-boggling to me. Bro, legit. Okay, especially in the genre of music where, like, wild shit is being said every single day. Oh, yeah. Drill. You're getting people talking

about oh yeah i stabbed this guy then i stabbed this guy uh last week i also shot this guy but anyway yeah do you believe the shooting stuff yeah in england yeah yeah yeah people have guns in england but is it like a communal gun like how do you get access it's like a library. You have a card and you're like, I'll take it. Allegedly. I'm not getting in trouble here. We're about to find out why wasabi is my godness. I guess if you want to get a gun, you can get a gun.

Yeah. It's hard. It's way harder than it is in Americaica in america bro you could just yeah yeah walk it anywhere when i was in la a few weeks ago just walked into like a sweet store yeah and it's just guns being sold i'm a duty free at the airport. I'm like, what? You get a gun and a Toblerone. Yeah, exactly. I shot one on the way here. It was awesome.

Yeah, it was great, bro. I was like, bro, it's so cheap. Yeah. It's so cheap. Yeah, it's cheap. Yeah. I can't believe it. And I also think it's less savage, to be honest with you.

I think shooting someone is less savage than stabbing. Well, it's kind of more cowardly. Yeah, that's what I mean. I would rather shoot you from, like, afar than, like, be all up close. Nah, you're calling us pussy right now. You're making us look bad.

Yeah, we're a little pussy, bro. We'd be spazzing out with the gat, bro. Go vote, son. Chill, bro. I'm just saying, would you rather stab, like, Al, you had a life of crime before podcasting. Like, was it more comfortable for you to potentially shoot somebody?

You had a life of crime before podcasting. It's so hard. It's life of crime career time for you. I definitely shot from afar. I was pretty close to winning. Yeah, you shoot from afar. And then you could, like, miss on purpose, and they don't know that you're a pussy, you know?

But, like, the stab thing, like, you can't even miss. It's not. But I mean, like, there's something really personal and like you're staring at someone in their eyes while stabbing them yeah and you just see the life like seep out of them allegedly compared to you just shooting and peacing out yeah and you just you just see like on on the news like oh he's dead he's oh shit yeah yeah yeah it's it's wild is it a bad with the knife pretty bad really yeah yeah yeah it's pretty bad so they're just walking up to i'm trying to understand this now do you feel more comfortable doing it because like you know why are you saying me just hypothothetically. I don't stab anyone, bro.

I'm a civilian. I'm a civilian. I'm saying it now. I ain't on the streets like that. You wear a bandana, bro. I will fight in the ring, and that's it. When Deji is trying to make money,

when he is out there trying to get some dollars on the streets, on the road, if you will. Some peas, some peas. And now he, you know, is there ever a feeling like after like stabbing somebody where you're like, the healthcare was taken care of, you know? Do you know what I mean?

Where like, you know, they'll be all right. Yeah, NHS, yeah. It's got us always torn. I mean that sincerely. Yeah, no, no. It's got us always talking. I mean that sincerely. Yeah, no, no. Pick up the NHS, man. Pick up the NHS. Pick up the NHS.

Stab him up. Saw him up. We are here, man. Always safe. It is a weird... So like our boy Jamil, who's here, he does all our partnership stuff.

He has international healthcare. He doesn't even have healthcare at home. Isn't that weird? That's so wild. If he got shot in America, would he just... He has to wait for a British ambulance to come over. It's like days. It's a nightmare.

My shit, dude. Goddamn. He travels a lot, so i guess it's it's beneficial but it's so much cheaper than just getting the health insurance at home yeah but how often you go to the doctor right well i mean it depends if you're on the head for money or if you're on the streets like that bro you probably need to get soyed every every once in a while but you can't go to the doctor gonna ask questions and shit you know i do i do remember like i had a headache or something like that no i not headache i um burst my eardrum and i was i had like pain this was before i was fine logan yeah i was sparring

some like 120 kilogram guy we don't know what that is oh and it sounds really little. Oh, really? That's the other thing. 260. Okay, double. Oh, wow, there we go. Something like that. 2.2. Okay, 260. So he hit me with a left hook. But 120 is like, you got your eardrum busted? Fucking dwarf.

Okay, go on. But he hit me with a left hook, burst my eardrum. I was like, fuck, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then I was traveling, obviously, to go to Vegas to get sorted. And I was like, yeah yeah so then i was traveling obviously to go to vegas to get sorted and i was like oh i've got like ear pain so i helped the doctor and i was like oh yeah like a doctor in america can i get sorted so he came over sorted me out he was like yeah that's uh 1500 yeah i was like you've given me tablets yeah you've You've just given me a tablet and that's $1,500. What the fuck, bro? Yeah.

It's like 50 bucks for a Tylenol at a hospital. Bro. Yeah. No wonder people are there like, oh, I've been shot. All right. Fuck it. Yeah. They'll do it themselves.

Yeah, yeah, man. Let me get a knife, yo. Fuck this shit out. Not us. We don't set the prices. We just treat you. Oh, is that right? Yeah.

We just be treating you. If you have private practice, you could decide how much it costs. If they could set the prices, it'd be way more expensive. Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's not wrong. And the medicine would be shittier. Alright, guys, we're going to take a break for a second. Listen, if you're one of the millions of

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Make sure you go there. Let's get back to the show. Now, can I be serious? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Okay. Be serious. Tommy Fury. More serious.

More serious? Okay. Thomas Fury. Thomas Fury. Thank serious. More serious? Okay. Thomas Fury. Thomas Fury seems to be afraid to come to America to fight you. Yeah. That's what some people would think. Yeah. I mean, look, he's backed out of the fight once already with an injury that we don't know whether or not was actually an injury.

You claim that he had hurt his pussy lips. Yes. Vaginitis. Oh, damn. And... It was more of an odor? Was that the... He was so bad

they wouldn't let him on the plane to come over here. Wow. Yeah. The odor. Yeah. It's a new thing

at the TSA. Oh, really? I didn't know that. That's what the dogs are sniffing for now. 100%. 100%. Okay. He just fogged up that machine where you throw the triangle up there.

It was pretty loud. But how did you end up getting your dick suck on stage? Doing too much molly. Was that it? Mm-hmm. It was really my fault. I really think it was an Illuminati secret agent just sent me there to destroy my rap career. You don't think you just have a sex addiction

that's never crossed your mind? I mean, I think everybody have a sex addiction. That's what addicts say, bro. Everyone loves alcohol. When you're blaming the Illuminati instead of I need my dick sucked all the time. Let me tell you the next story. Take us through it.

Take us through it. Take us through it. So this day, I mean, you know, this is like early in my career. It's like, you know, I'm just now starting to really get cracking like that, you know? And so I got this show, whatever. And at the time, I was doing the shit tone on Molly. That was my drug of choice. So I was just doing Molly like every day. So I'm always horny and like weird and shit.

So it was a lot of girls at the show, and they were feeling the boy. But it was like I would be rapping, and I'd be on this corner, and there'd be a group of girls, and they'd be rubbing me, grabbing my dick and shit and all that shit and doing, you know, just being creepy. But then I'd go on the other side of the stage, and there's like one 50-year-old looking old white lady, and she's doing the same thing, but she's going a little further than everybody else. That's what I'm saying.

I think it was a planet agent. And this is the time I used to wear Rick Owens all the time. You know what I'm saying? So I had the long t-shirt to hang down to your knees and shit. So you know, they keep grabbing my dick and shit. And you know, up to Molly, I'm like, I think I want to feel the real deal.

So I go back to my DJ booth. I just pop the motherfucker out a little bit. You know what I'm saying? What do you mean? So now I just pop the motherfucker out a little bit. You know what I'm saying? But what do you mean? So now I'm in front of the stage full charge. Oh, son. So you took your own dick out first. Yeah, yeah.

You're wild. So when I went to her side of the stage, she grabbed it and was like, oh, it's real. So then she just pulled the shirt up and started doing her thing. Kept rapping. Oh, yeah. I mean, I got to do the show.

I mean, I was paid to do a job. And did you let her finish? No, no. The thing was, it just got so crazy. It just was so fucked up because you got to think, man, there's a lot of guys at the show, too. And they were, like, getting smushed and smashed, and they were getting closer to the dick.

I was just seeing the look of horror on niggas' faces. What if Jason just grabbed that shit out of her? horror on niggas faces. And like, ah! And get you closer to it. Ah! Ah! What if Jason just grabbed that shit out of the way? Three stiff bitches. Three stiff bitches. So I felt bad. So honestly, to myself, I'm like, after this show,

this is who I'm fucking. You got it. Yeah. So where you at, bitch? So I bring the bitch. I get her. And I bring her backstage. She like, I'm on my period. I can't do nothing.

I can't go nowhere. And then just left. And she had like a scary look on her face. Everything about it was just weird. I'm like, dude, this was a government secret agent that was sitting there. And what were you doing that the government wanted to stop? I was too good at rap. Too good at rap.

That has happened with the government before. They had to put a strike on you. They got to see what is his weakness. That's true. That's true. What is his weakness? And then they found it. Let me show you how we can fuck this nigga up.

They found it. Yeah, they got me. They got you with sex. Yes. That's men. I'm a real man. I'm a real man. But did that hurt your career?

That situation? I would say so. How? I would say so because that was like the biggest moment of my career. So more people know about that shit than they know about my actual fucking music. Like, I was on Entertainment Tonight, all type of... I'm like, why is this happening to me? Like, I'm seeing all type of shit.

Everybody's reporting about it. CNN, all type of shit. But they won't talk about my music. They'll talk about me normally. Yeah. But I tried to spin it until I got sexually assaulted. But this was before the council stage, so it didn't really work out right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And now that I know that you whipped it out first. It makes it a little harder to prove that point. Yeah. I don't want to talk about it no more. You should have just made it your thing. That's a good point. No, this one made it worse. So after that show, I think I came to New York maybe a few dates later.

And you know how you want to get content and shit. And they was interviewing people online. And I remember this one dude in line. He's like, man, I don't know who Denny Brown is, but if he getting his dick sucked at shows and he got bitches like that in the crowd, I'm definitely pulling up. So it became this thing of where guys thought the girls at my shows was free. It was crazy, yeah. So what happened was,

I would always get these messages from girls. I'd be like, Danny, I love you. I'm a huge fan and all that shit. I love your music and shit, but I can't go to your shows. The guys there are so fucking creepy. Oh, really? It's just all fucked up.

So it got to the point where I wanted to, I stopped trying to make that kind of music just to not even, you know? So I don't, like, rap about, like, getting my dick sucked songs and shit. Like, I would, like, make a three-minute long song about getting my dick sucked. You know what I'm saying?

But now I wouldn't do that no more. You can't even rap about your passion. But now it's a sausage fest. Yeah. Now I go to my shows, it's not one bitch. You're back in prison. That's what it is. Ain't nobody braiding hair, though.

There's no upside either. No upside, man. At least they had good workout programs. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Soft Peter. White lady. Tried to do it.

What? Suck your dick. The 50-year-old. Oh, at the show? Yeah, she was white. Yeah, it was a white lady. Oh, bro, she had no business being there. Your first white lady? My first white lady? Yeah, yeah. Bro, bro, she had no business being there. Your first white lady?

My first white lady? Yeah, yeah. Bro, I'm from the days of Black Planet. What does that mean? I would go on Black Planet just for the white bitches. Wait, white? Hold on. Wait, I didn't even know that was a thing.

This is a real dicker. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Explain Black Planet to everybody at home. I've never heard of this. I've never heard of it. Black Planet was a website for dating for black people. But every now and then, you'll see some white bitches on that motherfucker because they want some niggas. You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm talking about. You know the type of white girls. I feel like that wasn't real white girls, though. You fucking the type of white bitches on Black Planet, they niggas, too. You know what I'm saying? I had to grow up in my status of getting a white bitch. You know what I'm saying? These ain't real white bitches.

These bitches just worse as us. These bitches, Nick, these bitches EBT card bitches. A white bitch with an EBT card is dangerous. And three baby daddies that's all black? Aw, man, you a black bitch? So I was like, man, these ain't real white bitches, man. I got to step my shit up. Yeah.

And then when did you step your shit up? I guess when, I think now. Now? Now you think you're- I know what a quality white woman is. Because before, you know, you just, whatever. You just doing whatever. See, I was one of those guys, man, Detroit is predominantly black.

You know, everybody would talk about interracial relationships and all that shit. And I was, motherfuckers be attracted to who they're attracted to. Yeah. I don't know. It was just something in me. I was always attracted to white women ever since they attracted to. I don't know, it was just something in me. I was always attracted to white women ever since I was born. I don't feel bad about it. You get what I'm saying?

I remember fucking driving past the Catholic school, seeing that motherfucker let out. All them bitches come out with that skirt on, I'm on the bus going to the motherfucking Sweden house to go to work, wash dishes and shit, looking at that shit like, one day, bitch. Damn, I have one of you. I think it was always horny, son. Damn, I have one of you. Nigga was always horny. This is the most horny dude I've ever seen.

Crazy. And then? I mean, like I said, it was hard because, you know, as a nigga, you got to start out fucking fat white bitches. Right, right, right. Why is that, you think? That's the gateway drug? Because that's what they want. You know, you got to go with who like you first. Yeah. Know what I'm saying?

I like who likes me. So if you like white women, as a nigga, you ain't got no money or a place to live. Yeah. A fair white bitch is a goal. Yeah, okay. Okay. What? You're saving your life.

So many couches I've slept on. What? These monkeys are that kind of shit. What? What? What? What? What slept on. What? Eating monkeys all day kind of shit. What?

Wait, what? Eating a monkey all day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I miss the eating part. What race has the best sex? What race fucks the best? I mean, I wouldn't know. But in my head, I would think all the, like, the Latina Mexicans. Because the, come on, papi.

I think they shit just crazy for some reason. How do you not know? You never tried that? You never had sex with a Latina? They don't like me. Why do you think? Come on, bro. You got to try again.

I don't live in New York. That's another thing, too. Yeah, but you live in Texas. And I'm a one-woman man. And I have a wife now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. Oh, you're married?

Trying to be. Trying to be? Soon. What's that? You don't have a wife now. You might have a wife one day soon. I want to marry the girl that I'm with now. And then what's stopping you?

Financial reasons. Do I believe you? That's what you got to tell them. Like, when I get the money right. Yeah. When I get the money right. Damn likely. That's what I get the money right. Damn likely. Have you ever thought about having a vagina put in?

Installed? Or installed. Whatever. iOS update. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A below ground pool. A below ground pool. you can climb the ladder for the above ground but it's just not the same because you can get the inside painted and make it look like

the infinity pool that's a joke you cannot get the inside of your vagina painted that was a pool reference. Yeah, I mean, I've totally thought about it. It's like one of my goals for sure. Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, I just don't want to talk for the rest of my life. And also to like... He's devastated.

I know. You talked about it in the first episode too. You were like, why would you? What a gift. My thing is just... Because you talk, that's you. But for me as a fan, I'm like, don't talk. I want to see that dick print. I know you do.

I want to see you walk around with these pants on, print it up. That's what I want to see. So it's like, I don't, and with your face. Your face, body, print, heels. I don't like that. Jaden feels spoken for, bro. I don't know what I'm talking about. I know I'm fixed.

But that's my message to all the trainers. Like, don't tuck. Let's stop tucking. That's real, though. That's real. I want to see it. The print. I want to see, like.

Oh, I was like, what do you want? You've already seen it there. So and then do you feel a pressure with your the follow up would be do you feel pressure with your career that there are so many people that do enjoy the Sheenus that it would affect your career negatively if you got the Shina? That sounds so magical um uh that has definitely been a concern of mine for sure because you know i don't want to shoot myself in the foot a little like yeah i i know obviously my audience but my main reason too is like i love having sex yeah i think all of us love having sex and um if you have had sex with someone who has had anal you would know that there's like a lot of preparation that goes into it so yeah period king go ahead tell us about it yeah go on yeah

i'm just saying like you know that that digestive system yeah so it's it's you gotta think about what you eat no that's tea i mean like for real it's real it's real so it just makes it really hard to have to be um dealing with that all the time yeah so i would just like to be like uh run it up like a go like a gutter bitch. Like disgusting. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to eat McDonald's. I'm going to put it all in my mouth. And you're going to put your mouth on it.

Because I don't got a clean shit. Oh, I don't got a clean shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's the end. I'm sorry. That's the end. And the pussies that get installed, are they ready to go?

Has there been new technology? I'm not really familiar with the... What is it called, even? The surgery. Bottom surgery? Yeah, the bottom. It's called bottom surgery. So I'm not familiar with the bottom surgery. Look at our ally over here,

our resident ally in the room. So what... He's not an ally. He just studies his enemy. Friends close, baby Daisy, I hear you coming on the podcast Let me explain it now That's how he sounds What was the question?

I don't know, Mark didn't bring his cross today Talk about I don't know Mark didn't bring his cross today Tuck that one Talk about tucking So the bottom surgery Like all surgeries These things improve You even look at breasts now compared to Breasts in the 80s it's crazy

100% I imagine bottom surgery is drastically improving compared to like breasts in the 80s it's crazy right i mean yeah 100 yeah so it's like i imagine bottom surgery is drastically improving we haven't even talked about our topic it's all great we haven't even moved up yet we're still down there but so so i'm like is there part of you that's like yo i'm gonna wait because every six months to a year the pussy's getting you get a new iphone they come out the new shit the 2024 pussy on the way yeah there's a refurbishment period yes yeah yeah you know what i mean there are oh never children in workshops um no sorry apple um yeah no i i mean yeah the

technology is obviously getting a lot better it depends i mean you just got to go to a good doctor you know because they're yeah it's just it's you got to go to a good doctor i love i love i've seen some things i've seen some vaginas have you have you had sex with a uh bottom surgery trans girl um not with bottom surgery so that would be a trans oh wait a minute i feel like that would be a good way to like like you know you test drive a car when you want to get bottom surgery right you see which you know what doctor have. I will say I have my friend, my friend Natasja Dreams. Okay.

See, I knew. Somebody has to see their face. Somebody know my name. I was like, oh, I knew that would land. No, she showed me her pussy and it was really immaculate. Can she feel?

Immaculate. Yes. And it gets wet the same. Yes. Wait, how does it get wet? How does it get wet? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it depends. Do you jog a couple laps? What did you say? Did you jog a couple laps? This guy's crazy, bro. He's a little confused. He's a little confused. I don't even know what to say after that one.

Slap him in the face. Fuck. Jesus. Oh, it's sad. Go on. there are different options that you can get you can just get a regular vagina yeah there's also an option like a deluxe there's the deluxe what's that deluxe it's um they take it it's like called like a sigmoid wow i'm so so medical um like called like the sigmoid. Wow. I'm so, so medical. Um, it's called the sigmoid colon version where they take a bit of your colon and then they use it at the top of your vagina and it helps lubricate more.

Wow. Yeah. Cause they do self lubricate because, oh, oh, I was like, is that me? Oh, that's Matassi. I've seen her. Yeah. I know. I know you have.

I know you have for sure for sure um yeah no there's like different options um it depends i mean i don't know how it works because i'm not a doctor but like someone like semen half of it like a small percentage of it is sperm and like the rest is like seminal fluid seminal fluid. So like it's all coming from like the same place. Oh, so they can reroute some seminal fluid. Yeah. Yeah.

And so obviously like I don't have a G, I wouldn't have a G spot, but they place it where your prostate becomes your G spot. So then you can orgasm. Yeah. And then the Japanese broadcast is the only one that. Oh yeah. Oh wow,

they cut it out or something? They cut it out of the US, but Japanese and like Australian didn't have it cut out do you want to play the Japanese wait a minute they pre-recorded it

you're saying this isn't live no there's like a 15 second delay so because everything happened they just dumped a bunch of you can see Will Smith

saying it but you don't hear it but luckily there's a Japanese broadcast where you can hear the whole thing uncensored have you heard it yes please translate

the Japanese as well Andrew I can do that if you want. I had no clue because I heard the, I didn't know it was Japanese, but I heard the Asian

in the background. Yeah. Now, do you want to guess before the translator translates what it's going to be in Japanese? Yeah, I can say exactly what it is. Okay.

Oh, wow. Wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me. Okay, how do you think that's going to be translated in Japanese? It's about to come in? Yeah. I think it's Honey Monster. Honey Monster. Honey Monster.

That was pretty, honestly pretty close. Don't ever say I'm racist. That was honestly... Don't ever say I'm racist. Don't ever say I'm racist. Don't ever say I'm racist Don't ever say I'm racist Don't ever say I'm racist Don't ever say I'm racist Did I not just say it Did I not just say it It's what I do

It's what I do Okay a father protects His family Okay it's what I do Fuck out of here Y'all thought y'all Was setting me up to be racist And then no

Well yes and then no Uh uh Uh uh bro Uh uh bro Don't ever stop me You wanna keep going Yes I can fucking keep going If you want me to keep going

Shit Let's see Honey monster Honey monster Wow dude Yeah Fucking not. Honey must stay. Honey must stay. Wow, dude. It was a G.I. Jane joke. Keep my wife's name. G.I. Jane.

Proper names. That's my bad. G.I. Jane. G.I. Jane. No joke. I'm going to.I.J. no joke I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to?

yeah Kamikaze oh man well actually Will was more Dana White posted on the gram that's what he was gonna do Yeah he held back Oh this is the funniest part right here

So we are here To uh Give a documentary out To give an Oscar That's the best part I had a great tweet when he noticed that it was so flustered

we're here to give a documentary we're gonna give it out we're gonna give the documentary it's an NFC actually we're giving the documentary it's an NFC that is the best part

of that whole shit right there he literally said oh I could you could what oh i would love to know what you could yeah it would have been awesome now he was about to go in it was the out the mouth thing yeah that's what he was about to hit guaranteed keep my wife's name out your mouth go yeah keep other dudes out your wife's mouth that's what i think the comeback was

about to be so good yeah what he would have got What? He would have got it. I mean, that would have been good. I mean, if he said it, it's a groan, and then Chris Rock is an absolute superstar. The tour sells out the next day. His tour's probably doing fine. Maybe. Maybe. He is Chris Rock. That's a good point. I'm just saying. You never know.

He would have gone to that as an all-time greatest comeback. I mean, yeah. He's in the shower right now, probably. He missed his moment. He's got lines, he's in the shower right now. Probably like, God damn it. Yeah, he missed his moment. I had so many. He's got lines. Everyone's texting him. Perfect jokes.

Yeah. You're the Gen Z expert. You know everything about rap music. I honestly don't know what Kid Cudi does. I know he's in movies sometimes. And every time I see him there and I'm like, he's not famous enough for how bad he is at acting to be here. What was the answer?

Hey, can we be honest? That wedding dress shit, Dennis Rodman been done that. Been done it. Been done that. Been done it. Yo, that shit is older than screw music. Yeah, you want to talk about dinosaurs? I'm not impressed no more.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to talk all this dinosaur talk? Yeah, come on, dog. Okay, you did the whole I'm going to wear a wedding dress for clout thing. Corny. Super corny. Y'all like that? That's your hero?

He was doing Kurt Cobain. Your hero. He was doing that too, dog. Kurt did it first. Yeah, he was paying homage. Stop paying homage. Stop dick riding. Stop dick riding.

Oh, I like the energy. I don't hear dick riding. i like the energy out here dick riding no for real why is it that these young millennial white kids love soft ass black dudes so much because they're not because they're black people are not scared why you love emasculated black men for them to be famous and successful have Have you seen where rap music came from? That's fire! What are you talking about? Funkmaster Flex wearing frilly shirts? They were all super gay back in the day.

No, no, no, no, no. What are you talking about? You crazy, bro. You crazy. Adidas tracksuits, dog. Yeah. Adidas tracksuits. Funkmaster Flex?

Yeah, Funkmaster Flex. I want a picture of NWA and a fucking wedding gown. I'm talking about Dr. Flash. Jess, you're screwed, man. I'm talking about Dr. Flash. You'm talking about Grandmaster Flash. Yes, you're screwed, man. I'm talking about Grandmaster Flash. You're talking about Grandmaster Flash. You don't even know their names. That's his, yo,

you just, screw music right there. That's you, dummy. Real talk. Now, one picture. Look at you. Keep going. Keep going.

Bro, this is how rap music started. Nah, nah, nah. It was guys dressed like the Village People, bro. Let me see. This is what rap music came from, all right? And we're just getting back to that.

The truth, the roots. That's fire. I don't see nothing. Everyone out of this shit, bro. I'm getting bitches, all right? And we're just getting back to that. The truth. The roots. That's fire. That's fire. Everyone of them getting bitches, bro. Bro, they're all wearing leather pants. Them motherfuckers stormed the Capitol, bro. Every one of them in that goddamn picture was there. Look at that fucking outfit he's wearing in the front.

That Bud Light. That guy was there. Front row. Stop hating. Those dudes get pussy. That's my point. We're going back to it. Kid Cudi gets pussy

No Kid Cudi dresses like He gets fucked Yes What? He dresses like pussy All emotional and sad All these black dudes

That y'all look up to What's going on over here? There's some racism That's the agenda Real talk That's get out What? Y'all are get out

Y'all get out Why do you need black men To be all hyper masculine? I need black men To be wherever the fuck They wanna be Exactly Not dressing like white ladies

Why is that bad Yeah Why is that bad You know what I'm saying He's dressed like Kurt Cobain He's not dressed like a white lady He's dressed like a white lady He's dressed like Kurt Cobain

Kurt Cobain was trying To dress like a white lady Whatever his fucking name is bro Kurt Cobain was trying To dress like a white lady dog Yeah He definitely wasn't Dressing like no minority

He's from fucking Seattle Right yeah Okay So he was trying To dress like a white woman so that's even worse why wait what's he's trying to dress like a white man trying to dress like a white woman that's double white but that's what he wants to do that's beautiful be white he wants to be your hero be original bro i love cuddy bro he won mad grammys for what so that mecca and uh what's that song about day and night that's the daylemore. Day and night. What's that song about? Day and night. That's the day. The whole day. You just described the whole fucking day.

That's everything. What everything? Every day. He just described every day. What about it? Bro, there's day and then there's night. Day and night. What else? The Lonely Stoner seems to what's the last words? Free his mind at night. Yeah. Then why are you including the day in that? Why don't you say at night? At night. Yeah. Then why are you including the day in that? Why don't you say at night? At night.

Yeah. At night. That song makes sense. The Lonely Stoner seems to free his mind at night. There you go. See how that makes sense?

Can't even declare that shit. Seems to. If you disagree, I understand. Say what it is, fam. That's true. That's a good point. Kid Cudi makes music

for people that've been through stuff. He seems to. Been where? Been where? Suburban problem. You wouldn't get it, bro. It's fucking unbelievable, dude. It's for people like me and Cudi makes music for people that have been through stuff. He seems to. Binware. Binware. He's been through stuff, bro. You wouldn't get it. Suburban problem. You wouldn't get it, bro. It's fucking unbelievable, dude.

It's for people like me and Cudi that have been through real shit, bro. It's for bachelorette parties. Every fucking bachelorette party, they're playing that stupid song, guaranteed. Oh, I relate to this so much. I'm such a lonely stoner. I need to smoke weed to go to sleep at night. Yo, yo, yo. Right?

Soft. He unoriginal, dog. Everything about this guy been done. He's an angsty white guy in a black guy body. He dressed like Herkle Bain. He dressed like the Madonna or the fucking

Dennis Rodman wedding dress. What's original about this man? Tell me something. You don't know anything about him. That's a white thing to say. That's my issue. That's what he said. You don't get me.

You don't understand me. Yes. We do understand you. White boy. We do understand you. You're not that interesting. If you have to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do understand you. What, boy? We do understand you. You're not that interesting. If you have to wear a dress, you're not that interesting. Ooh.

If you have to ever put on a dress. Style over substance. You're not that interesting. Simple as that. Mark, rebuttal? Rebut? It's a dumb argument. Feel free to rebut.

It's a dumb argument. Why? Because you have no rebuttal. When you come back, it's just dumb. It's just dumb, bro. I'm just saying, bro. Do something interesting. Be a vampire.

Do you know what I mean? Like Playboy Carty, I get. Playboy Carty is a fucking legend, dude. This guy's the truth. This guy makes music. That's original. Vamp life. Wow.

That was good. That was good right there. Come on, son. Yo, y'all got to learn more about the next generation. You're not out here, bro. Vamp life. Vamp life. Pull the jacket over.

Pull the jacket over. Vamp life. Vamp life. It's vamp life for life. And you know what? It's going to be long life Because we vampires We don't die out there Vamp life

Vamp life Kid Cudi ain't got no vamp life Kid Cudi don't even got a call sign Kid Cudi can't even engage his fans How does Kid Cudi How does he engage his fans What does he do Everybody unite What does Kid Cudi gauge his fans? What does he do? Everybody unite!

What does Kid Cudi do to unite all his fans? What could he possibly do? Nothing, bro. Nothing. What could he possibly do? I'm just laughing. Describe how the world revolves around the sun. Day and night, bro. What does he do? How does Kid Cudi bring them all together? He's not Playboy Cardi. He'll

never be Playboy Cardi. Never, ever in his life. I wish Kid Cudi would come up to Playboy Cardi and talk his shit. I wish he would come up to us, the vamps, and talk his shit. Come up here, Kid Cudi, and talk his shit. I swear to God.

I swear to fucking God. I'm not playing no more with Kid Cudi, bro. Any final thoughts? If he comes for us one more time, it's on. It's literally on, bro. I swear to God. I smell blood in his fucking veins. What do you do when you smell blood? I want to suck it out.

I want to fucking suck it out. Where are you going to suck it from? Literally, I can feel my canines growing just because i'm getting so angry trying to defend my lord and savior you really dressed up like cal dracula for this shit too son it's fire the hair i'm not playing around right now al i'll fucking bite you you thought that big ass collar was going to stop me from getting at that neck? Is that what you thought?

I'm not ready for fair play. I'm not there yet. I'm coming out. Final thoughts on Kanye. Kanye's a genius. Playboy Cardi is the goat. Kid Cudi is a nobody.

A nobody. A goat. Okay. Okay. Kid Cudi is a nobody. A nobody. All right. Okay. And that's it. Name four songs from Kid Cudi. What about Pete? Pete Davidson?

Yeah. Stop bullying Pete, yo. Yeah. Hey, do nothing wrong, but come on your wife. Okay. Oh my God. Or in. Or in.

Possibly. Possibly. Possibly. Possibly. Possibly. What's got me? Come on! Why you mad? Big ass dick just going to town on your wife? Who cares, bro? Who cares? By whom? I will say this seriously. Pause that shit. I will say this seriously.

If. IF! But if Pete comes for Playboy Cardi's ex? Pause that shit. I will say it seriously. If. If. But if Pete comes from Playboy Cardi's ex. That's crossing the line. What's that girl's name? Iggy Azalea. I don't know. The vamps not having that. The vamps are not having that.

That's how much you want to be a vampire right after the palest bitch on earth. Ain't that funny? What a fucking bomb I just had. Yo. I saw you trying and I was like, fuck, no. I was ready, dude. I was ready to fucking go, dude.

Okay. What you gonna do? But can we move on from Kid Cutter? Guys, in all seriousness, can we actually take this serious? In all seriousness, can we take this serious? Okay, there's truckers in Canada. Truckers haven't even moved.

How are you going to pivot? The truckers in Canada haven't even moved. What a stupid joke. This is an important transition. The truckers are just standing there. Okay, their cars aren't even moving. Being racist. Do you know how confusing this is to the Muslim world that they they're not running over innocent people they're just sitting there do you know

they're just sitting there what you know cuddy made a compilation where every song goes to the next one perfectly and so he just did that i feel like we could use that a little bit he made an album where what happens every song goes perfect as a compilation album in on the moon just like every song goes right into the next one. Like that's never been done before. I'm just saying it's brilliant. It hasn't really been done in hip hop like that. Hip hop like that.

We can use that on this pod where we go and transition. I just transitioned perfectly. I just transitioned perfectly into the next topics, which is the truckers. Who have been moved starting this weekend and arrested. Wait, what? They're not arrested. We got to go save them. They moved them though. They and arrested. Wait, what? They're not arrested? We gotta go save them. They moved them. They're moving.

Wait, what? What did you just say? I swear to God. Did you really just tell me that? Did they start to get... They can't get bigger. I swear to God. Are they coming after my truck?

Are they coming after my truck? Are they coming after my truck? Are they coming after my truck? Yes, dude. Are they coming after my truck? Yeah, they are. All right. Is this Playboyi Carti? What?

This is Playboi Carti. This is from his first album. What's it called? It's from his first album. What is this called? The Long Night. Oh, The Long Night. The Long Night.

It's called Day and Night. It's called Day and Night. Yeah, yeah. The Long Night. It's just called Day and Night. This is from Playboi Carti's first album, posthumous because he's dead. He's a Night. It's just called Day and Night. This is from Playboy Cardi's first album, Posthumous, because he's dead. He's a vampire. That's true.

Dude, it's fire. He's the best, bro. He's the fucking best. What is your favorite Playboy Cardi song? You know what? When I feel it, I just love it. I don't even ask for it. You just feel it in your soul.

You just move. What is your favorite Playboy Cardi song, Al it i don't even ask for it because you just feel it in your soul yeah you just you just move what is your favorite playboy cardi song i don't know i can't ask about black music yeah shoot it shoot it that's what i came out to for like the last like i remember recommending that to you yeah uh chifty what's your favorite playboy cardi song vamp anthem yeah mine too i love that one yo vamp anthem is fucking sick that should be making me go crazy dog what you want to know the vamp anthem yo hit vamp anthem real quick i'll sing along to it you ready to bust it you ready to bust it uh uh bram stokers You ready to bust it? You ready to bust it? Bram Stokers. That's all I got, baby.

Well, everybody wanted it to be on the Tonight Show, so you made your own Tonight Show. Look at this. For you. You got fucking stage lighting and shit. It's hilarious. But you kind of did this. That's the thing. He's just doing that so you don't think it's a bad idea anymore. Exactly. This is your fault.

He doesn't mean that. This is all you. What did I do? I didn't do any of this. Yeah, you did nothing. You did absolutely nothing. No responsibility whatsoever. Joe, we have a little bit of a debate that needs to be settled. Oh.

Because the last time we all hung out, Mark was with us after the fight. You remember we went to the fight? In Phoenix. In Phoenix. And we sat down at a great steak restaurant. They didn't give me shit for this, first off. Did you order fish or something? No.

We thought it could be worse. Okay, we're sitting down. You get the tomahawk. Yes. Okay. Everybody else looks at the menu, and they look at the most expensive thing, and they go, I'll just do one below that. Out of respect for Joe, who's going to pay for this dinner, as you always do. Oh, I see.

What are you doing? Mark! Why are you doing this, bro? It's sitting like this. It goes Joe and then Mark. And then Joe goes, oh, the tomahawk. And then Mark doesn't even wait for the waiter to come over. He goes, double it up.

What a thing! Double it up! It's a good move. I don't see where there's a problem. Thank you. It's an expensive steak. Oh, you don't think Joe can do that. You don't think Joe's got it You cannot think like that and you've been hanging out me too long, yeah, yeah you can't it's super nasally right there

You should never think like that, okay, it's just a restaurant. It's not you're not buying Ferraris Yeah on the side. You should never think like that. It's just a restaurant. You're not buying Ferraris. Yeah. You're going buying steaks for people? Who gives a fuck? You're supposed to drink, have fun, order wine. Have a good time. Now, Mark was a little disappointed that you didn't finish your steak.

I didn't say it like that. No, you did say it like that. I'm an objective guy, and you were like, I finished it. And I thought about finishing his. I didn't know it like that. I didn't say it like that. No, you did say it like that. You did. I'm an objective guy, and you were like, I finished it. And I thought about finishing his. I didn't know it was a contest. I thought we were just having fun. I left a couple of pieces of meat. You did bring it up.

You were like, man, you know, I could do two of these easy. And I was like, all right, well, if you're going for it, I'm going to go for it. I did not say I could do two of these. Come on, Joe. Come on. You fucking people have the weirdest things you focus on. What do you mean you people? You.

You guys. This crew of people. You're focusing on how much a steak costs. And then how much did you eat? Did you eat it all? You didn't eat it all. I can't wait a month to talk about this. You didn't even eat it all? You didn't eat it all? I can't wait a month to talk about this. You didn't even eat it all?

Oh, when it gets on, the first thing he's going to talk about is how much he ate a month ago. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? You changed this into like a regular studio. You've abandoned all the rules of podcasting. That's right. We have. New York was so poorly planned as a city. Yeah.

And even like the suburbs are so poorly planned. Talk about it. You would think that people would recognize the value of being on the water. I'm sorry. And then buy up the real estate and then maintain that real estate for themselves because this is the most beautiful view and everything is great here. In New York, the water is like littered with projects. A fucking highway on one – Manhattan alone. There's a highway on one side, a highway on the other side.

So you're not – you're on there, but you're seeing traffic and fucking honking. It's nice that you can hop on the West Side Highway or you can hop on the FDR. It can be convenient. But at the same time, like, if you're a developer, like, put it fucking underneath, like, in Chicago or something, right? Then you go out to Rockaway. There's projects on the beach. Great for them. There's a whole section for maybe, like, 20th to 60th of nothing.

And then nothing. Like, you can make a building and like a bunch of buildings in that space or condos, whatever. Just nothing there. Hasn't been developed. It's disgusting. Why do these poor people get the view? What's wrong with this? It's disgusting.

Seeing poor people looking at water. I hate when he does this. His people displaced him. I hate when he does this. It's gross. I hate when you do this. These fucking poor people, why do they get it? You know what I mean? It's such a cuck thing to do. fucking poor people, why do they get it? You know what I mean?

It's such a cuck thing to do. It's such a cucky thing to do. You know what I mean? We're trying to argue like guys with jobs. I'm just saying, I agree. I agree. I blame his people. They displaced us out of Manhattan.

Fucking Scots. No, the guy, it was... Robert Moses. It was Moses, his people. No, no, no. Oh, yeah, definitely. No, it was Robert Moses. I mean, we would take that.

My people stopped him. Wait, really? Yeah, that is true. Fire Island. Boom! What do you mean, my people, Fire Island? Yeah. Well, my people are Fire Islanders.

Isn't it mostly gay men on Fire Island? Mostly, but that doesn't mean it's all. The rainbows are your people? Yeah. I'm a rainbow. It's the LGBTQ community are Fire Islanders. Isn't it mostly gay men on Fire Islanders? Mostly, but that doesn't mean it's all. Rainbows are your people? Yeah, I'm a rainbow. It's the LGBTQ community on Fire Islanders. I'm the LGBTQ community, but I'm a Fire Islander, and Robert Moses wanted to put that highway right through Fire Island, and we said, eh, eh.

Yeah, nothing's going through us. Facts. Facts. Facts only. Now, Robert Moses is a wild boy. You said facts, right? Yes. Sorry. Yes.

My bad. You were questioning whether right? Yes. Sorry. Yes. My bad. You question whether Moses is going to be your people? You guys claim everyone. He claims everybody. But you don't know this one. Iconic developer. Whoa. Wild boy, though.

Yeah. Wild motherfucking boy. I will say, I remember really wanting Waterview in New York. And then after we went to Miami and looked at that water and then came back, I have an apartment now. It's the Waterview. And I'm like, this is the ugliest motherfucking water. I'm looking at the Hudson. I'm like, this is doo-doo ass water I'm looking at.

That's a runway, basically, the fucking Hudson. It's incredible. I mean, if we could redesign Manhattan, clearly it would be different. But when he made it, though, it wasn't like, oh, it's a bunch of rich people all hanging out. It was like, oh, let's come here and try to get money and focus on this one little part in Lower Manhattan, right? Yeah, and then we need a place to store the poor so that they can come into work. Let's just give them the best beachfront property that exists. What fucking idiot developer looks at beachfront and goes, this one's—

Now I'm Mark's side. Thank you, bro. Thank you, dog. They sound like Robert Moses. Yeah, they do. No, I'm saying like, let's put him on the beach. Come on.

Listen, the point I'm trying to make here is, if you're a developer, that'd be a great episode of Seinfeld. Robert Moses is Seinfeld. What would you do? Throw my ass, Jerry. I'm trying to put him on the beach.

Let's throw him on the beach. You know what's so funny? This is my, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going. What does your dad do? What? Yeah. What does he do? You tell us.

He's a real estate agent. Where does he put the houses? He doesn't build houses. He's not a developer. He's a real estate agent. Wait, what? I actually don't get the flip though. No, no, no.

You need to say something. You need to say something. You need to say something. You need to say something. You need to say something. You need to say something. You need to say something. You need to say something. You need to say something. He's not a developer. He's a real estate agent. Wait, what? Wait, I actually don't get the flip, though. Nah, nah, nah. You need to say something, bro. You know!

Yeah. He's not a developer. Well, he takes advantage of the development. What do you mean? What? He's just an agent? He manages a real estate company. What do they do?

They sell houses to people. And then the good ones? The good of who? The good houses. Yeah. Are where? In certain areas? I mean, the wealthy parts of like France and Europe.

That was his choice? No. Selling it to whoever wants to buy it. Paris was built like 300 years ago. Yeah, you kind of. That's not bad. Son, you're taking a huge out. Why is that a bad out?

You came in with too much confidence to say nothing. I really thought you had him. You made me question what my own dad did. I was like, is my dad Robert Moses? Oh, no, he's fake. No, I didn't think he's developing, but I think he recognizes good property value

and then can profit off of it. Yeah. Okay, so then what's wrong with it? Your dad would agree with me. He'd be like, what the fuck is this project doing on the water? I thought your dad just gave presentations. Yeah, that's really all he does, actually. I mean, he's like a manager.

He like, tries to inspire the brokers. Go, sell houses. You can, you can, there's maybe something there? There's gotta be a little silver beast on property on your argument. Hold on, does this not make any sense? There's a little shoreline in the argument. I'm telling you. If you're selling the property in the high-value places.

He's not giving up. This is not in the schedule. Come on. Hold on, hold on, hold on. So if you're selling it. No. Am I just spun cycling you? No, no, but am I not making sense?

Nah, you're definitely a spin cycle. I see what you're trying to say, but it's not what you think it is. It's not the drug dealer's fault, it's the drug maker's. Come on. You're still part of the supply chain. We know what you're trying to say, it's just not the way you think it is. He's spinning, nigga, he's spinning! Let's put a bet on this argument, all right?

You guys know what time it is. This is crazy. It's time for the spin cycle. I still think I'm right. Oh, man. How am I wrong? I still think I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, man. How am I wrong? I still think I'm right. Explain to me how I'm wrong. You're taking part of the system.

Yeah. Where the rich people push the poor people out so that they can put their places in the nice places. Just because you're a part of capitalism doesn't mean you're complicit with all the bad parts of it. God damn, he fucking killed you with that shit. He killed you with that shit. Wait, why?

Because he just brought up a great counterpoint. Which is? Because you're a part of capitalism. It doesn't mean you're complicit in all the ill shit that's going on. Not all of it, but just the part that you're profiting off of. If you make money off... First of all, I don't think this is bad. I'm not making a judgment. But you guys are saying that what I'm saying is ridiculous.

A developer would probably want the good... Come on. I got it. When you get upset, it's so funny. I just don't know how I'm wrong. It's driving me crazy. It's so hilarious. He said inside.

He's like, come on, guys. Let me just get it out. I said that outside. I said it outside. The best real estate agents sell the best property. Where's the best property? By the fucking water. Oh, God.

Right? Yes. Yes, you're right, Andrew. You guys, he's holding the bar. I'm holding him up because I feel like you guys are not being honest.

Yes, 20 years. We know what you mean. What do I mean? If he sells real estate, he's complicit in the system that's designed that keeps more people... Not complicit.

Part of it. He's part of the system. He's that keeps... Not complicit. Part of it. He's part of this system. He's the part. Okay, hey. He's part of this system. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Miles saved Akash on that one because I got no laugh

and then we heard a little squeak and he fucking saved it. Hey, speaking of bombing, why don't you finish your point? I wasn't trying to be funny. I wasn't trying to be funny. Go, go, go, go. You're saying he's a part of it, too. He's a part of the problem. It's not a problem.

I'm saying get him out. He's a part of whatever he's mocking you for. He's no different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, I dug too deep in it? I am right. I am right. You technically are 100% right.

No, you're not wrong. I just dug too deep. Yeah, you just thought it was such a fucking haymaker. That's why we were kind of like, well, yeah. I fucking bobbled that. It is. I bobbled it crazy. You bobbled it.

I bobbled it crazy. George, you bobbled it.. You bobbled it! I bobbled it crazy. George, you bobbled it. But it's not wrong. I just didn't know how to articulate it. Yeah, you just got too hype. I thought I had, like, a fucking game over. Yeah. And then it became funnier to just trash everything I said.

Well, you don't have to think about it this much. You don't have to deconstruct why you bombed. It's just an added story. Fuck, man. I thought I had it, too. I thought I had it. I thought Mark was doing his socialist thing and I was like, oh, here you go.

I was doing a similar thing. Go be the press. Go back to being the press, you son of a bitch. Oh, God. That's so good. Come on, Jerry. Fuck you all, man. I'm trying to get on the beach front.

They call me Robert Moses. Kramer busts in. Let's build more beach. Everyone's like, that's a great idea. The beach is where you want to be, Jerry. Everyone wants let's build more beach. Everyone's like, that's a great idea. The beach is where you want to be, Gary. Everyone wants to be on the beach. Let's make two beaches.

Every beach has another beach. OK, guys, listen. I'm not leaving. Let's drain the ocean. I'm not leaving. We drain the ocean? There's projects on the beach. Oh, my god.

Oh, my god. If we were to redesign at least Manhattan, there's no park in the middle. Put the park around on the water. Where do the poor people go? In the middle. Of the ocean. Where it's hot. Yes, in the ocean, maybe.

No, Mark. No. No. This is the best birthday present you could have gotten. Happy birthday, Mark. No. Happy birthday, Mark. No. No. This is the best birthday present you could have gotten. No. Happy birthday, Mark. No. Happy birthday, Mark.

To you. Happy birthday. Son. Motherfucker. Son, that was a heavy load on that spit cycle, son. That shit was crazy. You did extra dry? We're not done.

That was crazy. We're not done. We're not done. Son, them clothes are shrunk right now, bro. That's why his pants are like that, bro. His pants have been through the cycle a little too much. Oh my god. That is so funny.

God damn, that was so funny. Listen, I don't know what to say. Listen, I don't know what to say. Listen, I don't know what to say. Oh, my God. I don't know what to say, but I know for a fact. I know for a fact that if you were in a house somewhere and they built a project next to it. I honestly hope you all invest in real estate and they build a fucking project next to all and I hope it's Mark's dad that builds it

I hope Mark's dad builds a project next to both of you I genuinely hope and believe that that will happen to both of you I hope that I hope it hope and believe that that will happen to both of you. I hope that. I hope that. I hope this kind of goes to zero and you're poor. I hope you just fucking shrink two and a half inches for no reason

one day. I hope you lose two and a half inches of height for no reason one day. What do you wish for me? Out of nowhere. Oh, you'll get your wish tonight. Happy birthday. Okay? And then Miles, fuck you. Yeah.

Fuck you, Miles. I was out of the spin cycle. You had to give Akash that one fucking laugh. Yeah. And then I was right back in. I was going to flip it all on Akash. Jesus fucking Christ. I hope everybody at home enjoyed that.

Five bucks a month, dog. We got to raise the prices. We got to raise the prices. because this is too much abuse. I can't take this much abuse for only $5 a month. Oh, my God. All right, fucking Cristiano or something. We picked too early, Jerry. Fucking A, dude.

Train the ocean. Listen. So we did a cool vlog out there. He's a nice guy. Casey's awesome. He's a good dude. But we could use some redeveloping. Guys, I don't know what to...

I don't even want to look at any of you. How would you redesign New York? I really want to know. Very simple. Okay? Very simple, okay? He got too greedy. He got too greedy. He got it with the first one, Shifty, but he got too greedy.

This here. Bring it up. Bring it up. Beach all around the water. Well, it's already there. Crazy concept. Okay. Central Park, gone.

What is it? Nobody goes, buildings. Okay. More buildings. Poor people. They could be poor, they could be rich,

it really doesn't matter to me at that point. Why do people need to be in Manhattan? Let's just send them out. Well, that was the original idea. Not Far Rockaway, though. That's rich people. We'll hit them in

fucking, you know what I mean? Where? Long Island. Staten Island. Staten Island. Staten Island. They are there. But the middle of Staten Island, not the edges.

They are there. They are there. Far Rock, the closest beach to Manhattan. What about- Filled with the poor. Put them in Corona. God damn it. Not in a bad way.

Not even in a bad way. You had said it. You said it. I can't say no. It's very low. Yeah. And black. No, it's not black. No, it's not. It had said it. You said it. I can't say no. It's very low. Yeah, and black. No, it's not black. No, it's not.

It's mixed. Really? Yes. You thought it was black the whole time. Half black? That's crazy. No. Your miles are showing.

Or underground. What about underground? Maybe he got it. Did you just refer to racism? Yes. Miles? I'm sorry. Okay, keep going.

This is good. It's off me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to put more sauce on this. That shit's crazy! That shit is crazy! My internal Miles-ers show. That's funny.

Okay, Miles, they can say nothing wrong about you, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These. Miles Day can say nothing wrong about you, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These motherfuckers can say nothing wrong about you. Crazy. Okay. Jesus Christ. Are we still looking at Manhattan? Is there anything else you guys want to talk about, you pieces of fucking cunt lip?

Oh, fuck. Come on. Can we talk about Rihanna? What's going on in your life, Andrew? Tell us about that. What's stressing you out? Anything? You motherfuckers, fuck. Come on. Can we talk about... What's going on in your life, Andrew? Tell us about that. What's stressing you out? Anything? You motherfuckers, bro. You motherfucking pieces of shit.

You don't want to see those hairs on the show. He just had sex, bro. Your hair is falling apart. He's got like walking shame here. You motherfucking exotic hedgehog, bro. Is that good? No, no, no, no. because there's too much real anger. Slash me through the wall.

I don't want to get it. Is my cut out in the fucking door? Okay, what else we got to talk about? Fucking, you were obsessed with cereal, dog, and not as free. You were obsessed with that podcast. I was, I was. I figured it out. I figured that he did it. Wait, really?

I solved it. I did a map. You've settled with that? You did a map. Don't get started? I solved it. I did a map. You've settled with that? You did a map. Don't get started on maps again. I printed out a map. Who's on the map? Listen, there's a lot of redevelopment that could have been done.

Let me tell you that much. No, I think that Adnan, do people even care? I think people cared. Right? Do you remember it? Yeah. I remember it. You were too young.

I didn't listen to it. I listened to it. When did you listen? I listened to it the first time around, and then I listened to it in like 2017. You were old enough the first time around. I re-listened to it. It's so good.

It was unbelievable. Didn't you like create a whole map? Yeah, I printed out an entire map, and we did the times and everything. You really did? 100%. He absolutely did it. 100%. You actually made a map? Yes, I swear to God. It's we did the times and everything. You really did? 100%. He absolutely did it. 100%.

You actually made a map? Yes, I swear to God. It's like the red rope. I printed out a map that was the size of the green thing back here, minimum. When did you do this? As it was coming out, week by week. Five years ago? Yeah.

Were you also selling lemonade? It was way more than that. He was also selling lemonade at the time. No, no, no. I was obsessed. He was obsessed. And there was another thing going on that I can't talk about. Oh, okay. It was way more than that. He was also selling lemonade at the time. No, no, no. I was obsessed. He was obsessed. And there was another thing going on that I can't talk about. Oh, okay.

But yeah, yeah, yeah. Extreme boredom and depression. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From a different thing. I understood. Okay, this broke. Fucking son of a bitch. Okay.

Everything's falling apart. Everything's falling apart. He's ripping the shit out of me. Guys, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Bro, that could have been a metal fork. That should have been... Can I tell you guys something that I actually mean?

Mark's father's a murderer. He's a war criminal. He's a murderer. This guy bombed a wedding. He's murdered me today. He's added another body. If you're wondering what he has killed, he has killed me today. I just want everybody to be incredibly clear.

Take that out of his hand, bro. Why? What do you think I'm going to do with this? I like those. Those are good. What do you mean you like these? You don't need to destroy it. What, you think I just squeeze it so fucking hard out of anger?

This started so positive and so happy. I'm so fucking infuriated. Dude, I don't even think Miles is on your single, bro. I was. I was. Miles is not on your single, bro. Of is on your single. Miles is not on your single, bro. Just like an asshole, I do the whole fucking podcast in a profile. Hey, Miles, let me help you.

Hey, there you go. Keep it in that angle right there, and I'll do the entire podcast just like this. Please. Given my facial features, a profile is obviously the best way to film me. If we could do anything to improve my confidence right now, it would be

filming in a profile as my nose hits the other side of the screen. Yeah, that looks good. They're gonna build a project on your nose. Mark, shut the fuck up. Mark, shut the fuck up. Mark, shut the fuck up. My dad's just been convicted, bro. Fuck that guy.

Listen, Alex, Alex, fuck you. I'm sorry. You could have killed him. Fuck you. Fuck you, Alex. How about trying to swing backwards? He's bullying you right now.

Fuck you. Fuck Mark. Fuck Mark's dad. Fuck Mark's whole family. Okay? Piece of shit. Fuck Miles, to be honest with you. Miles is out of the ring of protection.

He's completely out of the ring of protection. Miles, he was in for a good two weeks. He's completely out of the ring of protection. Miles, he was in for a good two weeks. He's completely out. Oh, fuck. Okay? Fuck you. Oh, fuck. But fuck Alex.

Mostly fuck you. Mostly fuck you for even growing up there. So we have to talk about this. If you didn't fucking grow up there, okay, then we wouldn't be talking about this shit. Why was I poor? Fuck. Listen. Poor was I poor? Fuck. Listen. Poor with a view like that.

My life is so hard with my beach-run property. Oh, God. I have to join a gang. It's so hard. I can't boogie board all day. What an asshole you are. You could be boogie boarding all day. You still boogie boarding between cell phones.

Yes, you did. You piece of shit. In between cell phones. You piece of shit. In between cell phones. You piece of shit. This kid's Hawaiian, and he chose to join a gang and carry a fucking gun around. It was busy times and quiet times, bro. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Privilege you grew up with. Privilege. I'm living on the second floor of a 4,000 square foot wall. Looking at buildings. Looking at buildings. Looking at buildings and cars and honking. We've got seagulls flying. And then on weekends, you've got to go out to Long Island and see on the beach, bro.

Oh, my Jesus. Whoa. We didn't need to be hateful, bro. You didn't need to be hateful, bro. Leave it in. You didn't need to be hateful, bro. Miles, you're back in the circle. Let's bro. Leave it in. You didn't need the hateful, bro. Miles, you're back in the circle. Let's go.

Leave it in, Miles. We're canceling out. Miles. Miles. Miles. I said I was racist. Two minutes ago. You're going to show it.

You're going to prove it right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Miles. He called you racist. The whole shit's going down. The whole shit's going down. I heard it too. We're going to burn the whole building down. Push the nose.

March that. It's going to rebuild on top of you for the week. Let go. OK? Listen, you leave that fucking thing. Remember he called you a racist? Remember he called you a racist? Duh. If you leave the thing, it makes you racist.

Miles, Miles, think about it. If you leave it, it proves my point. Miles, remember when you were talking about those people and how they talk about us? No. Don't you remember you was? I was on your team for a second. Remember you said to me, those people always talk down on us.

And their views, yeah. You know what I mean? Really, Bob? Remember that, Miles? I was on your team for a second. You are on my. In interviews, yeah. You know what I mean? Really, bro? Remember that, mom? I was on your team for a second. You are on my team. No, no. You're on my team.

I'm not a mom boss. Come on, bro. I know. You're on my team. Come on, bro. You're in the family business, man. God made it this way. You're a big man.

Come on, you're blue-eyed fucking geniuses, bro. I like it. I got to stay so quiet. He don't want no smoke right now. Son, he is not saying a word. You see him calling you in, Zwillow? You see him calling you in, Zwillow? Yeah, you're right.

You're right. You see what they do? Miles, you see what they do? Why do you have to be so loud, right? Say it again. I know. Come on. He gave you a little jab.

He gave you a little jab. He's like, we just sparred. A little slap box. A little slap box. There it is. You started it, to be honest with you. I was trying to be on your side, bro. No, no, you did one thing that killed me, bro.

You said some shit like, uh, maybe you could use that. Oh, yeah. He's like, I think there's something there. There's something there. There's something there. That was hateful. That was hateful. I had a bad example. I had a bad example.

Yeah. But it was right. Yo, the more I think about it, that shit was kind of off, dude. I know, son. It was a little bit off. Like, but it was on. But it was on.

It had the right words. Yes. It had the right words. I think if you move up, if you move up. Some of the words was there. The meaning was wrong, but the words was there. It was right here, but not here. Exactly. It was a simile.

It followed the spirit of the law. Yeah, that's what it was all about. Okay? Motherfucker, I was catching strays, son. Yo, Bala came in. Bala came in to yammy. Came in to yammy. Shifty snickered through the speaker.

Chill, dude. Whoa. Whoa. I hate that ass crazy hard. I hate that ass crazy hard. You just got Miles a boner right now. God damn. His dick looks like it snickers, bro.

Got the veins and everything. Miles! Hey, don't talk to my mans like that. I got you, Miles. I got you, Miles. Don't talk to my mans like that. I got you, Miles. Don't talk to my mans like that. You know what I mean?

Don't talk about it like that. That's crazy. Miles, you get hard to whatever you want to get hard to. You get hard to whatever you want to get hard to, my boy. People who like Trump are like, what a great interview. People who don't like Trump is like, you were doing softballs. It's like, I know nothing about politics. Like, like how deep can i get the first question was a hardball but it was the compliment man yeah yeah so it was surreal uh i'd never been to the white house the

whole white house kind of mid or what no i liked it really yeah i'm like one of those weird like history how old are you 38 38. You're using mid, huh? Thank you. Thank you. That's crazy. We've actually been trying to work on his vernacular. That's crazy. Why is it crazy? I think you're past the most.

What is mid? I think mid means like not good. Somebody came up to me and said it the other day. What is that? I didn't expect it here, but it was like a teenager. It came up to me and said it the other day. Yeah. And I was like, what does that even mean? I didn't expect it here, but it was like a teenager. It was a teenager, yeah.

But you use it, right? No. Like when you buy shorts or like... No, no, no. We call it mid-cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess. I use it like,

where is it? It's in the middle. Not like, not that way. No, I'm a... I like the White House. I'm kind of like a buff. Was the White House... Have you guys like the mid a buff. Have they been on you about that? No, but it's pretty lit.

It's funny because he gets every type of thing wrong. I think he maybe used it right, but I didn't expect it. He did, and now we've been trying to help him with it, and then the one time he gets it right, you come in and go, fuck you. You're still doing it?

I'm still doing it. I shouldn't do it anymore. You're also doing that? Yeah. Because I'm still doing that. Not still. Like, it's new. Yeah, it's new. I shouldn't do it anymore. No, you're also going to use, like, cap, which he's going to call you out for. So please continue. I'll use cap. Yeah. Like, so I do that BFF thing with, like, so they'll throw words, and I'm like, I don't

know. I'll just start using it. All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second because, listen, it's the holidays, okay? It's the holidays. You're going to be sucking on candy, canes, eating gingerbread, cookies, pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie, all these other things, thinking you're not going to get your dick up, but you are. And you know what's going to help you do it? That's that blue chew. Same active ingredient that's inside Viagra C-House, but this is the chew. This is the one that's got you lit up for the holidays.

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think about that. That's a gift that keeps on giving, okay? Bluetooth.com, promo code flagrant. You have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, and a Happy New Year's. Now let's get back to the show. You lied to me in fucking Mexico? What did I lie to you about?

Because everyone's telling me, don't get me fucking liquor, right? And you bring me a drink. I'll go, I'll get what you drink. What's about to happen is great. Please tell this story. This is going to be another text message thing. This has never backfired with you. I feel like when you tell a story

with an accusation. Tell them what happened in Mexico. In Mexico, okay? Look at his face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now he's wondering. Tell them what happened. Look at his face.

Dude, this acting, bro. Okay, go ahead. I'm fucking serious. No, you're in Pineapple Express. I know, go ahead. Let me start over, dude. In Mexico. Yeah.

All right, in Mexico, all the people we work with were telling him, don't get him alcohol, don't get him alcohol, right? Oh, wow. So there was an open bar, right? And he goes,

what do you want to drink? Something I already know is to not get him alcohol. And you look at me, you go, what do you want to drink? I go, I'm going to have the same thing you're having. You went to the fucking thing,

you had liquor, and you gave me some weird Sprite thing that had no liquor in it. Right. What a fuck. Wow. How dare he save your life?

But I'm already in the disease. I'm going to get it anyway. I'm not going to support it. Not going to support it. Not going to support it. Yeah. If I relapse, Andrew. Bobby.

Andy Schultz. Yes. If I relapse. What do you think? Dude, he got mad at me. How do you get mad at him? So mad at me for not giving him liquor. What do you think love is, Bobby?

This is what addiction does. Is that why you stayed in that relationship so long? Dude. Bro. Oh, no! Oh, gosh, hold on. Sit down.

Sit down. You know how your fucking life should come off again, right? Bro. Bro. I love you. That's what you fucking texted me, you fuck?

Dude. Did you see? You got up like a transformer, dude. That was a good one. Ba-ba-ba-ba. That's what you going, that's the guy going, that's the dude going, more than a meter, the eye. Looking around. Where is he looking?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. So proof is in the pudding that I did the right thing in Mexico, did I not?

Yes, dude. And you know why this whole thing started? He got into a fight with me, yelled at me, yelled at me for not getting him, dude. And you know why this whole thing started? He got into a fight with me, yelled at me. Yelled at me for not getting him booze. Bobby's the only Transformer that's more dangerous as a car, though.

Dude. You're looking to be funny, dude. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's so fucking funny. Watch out. He's turning back into a beetle. That's really funny.

Fuck me. Fuck. This dude relapsed in Mexico, got mad that I didn't serve him booze, and then the breaking point was got drunk on his own. No, you started this. But in the hotel room,

don't talk about that. I'm absolutely going to tell the hotel room. Say it. What happened? Got drunk. Well,. No, you started this. But in the hotel room, don't talk about that. I'm absolutely going to tell the hotel room. Say it. What happened? Got drunk. Well, he's sober now, and we're happy. I'm not using this against him at all, and he knows that. But he got drunk without me.

He went behind my back and did it anyway, because I walked him to the room, and then he left and got boozed, didn't you? What day of the week was this? Wednesday or Thursday. Wednesday or Thursday. Oh, my God. And then you threw up all over the place, right? In my Thursday. Wednesday or Thursday. Oh my God. And then you threw up all over the place, right?

In my hotel room. In his hotel room. And then I came to the door the next day because he wouldn't answer his phone and what did you greet me with?

Poo. Poo. He had shit all over his hands. Oh my God, dude. But because you were having fun? I have a fucking poo.

You were just having some play time, right? I have a fucking poo. Yeah, yeah. It's fine. It's fine. He answers the door with poop on his hands. And then he goes, there's throw up all over the chairs.

Yeah, yeah. It was insane. I was so drunk and I had poo all over. I don't know why. There was poo everywhere. I had poo all over my hands. Vomit everywhere. I had a vomit beard.

And I came and I go, I have poo. And I was like, we got to go home. We got to go home. We got to go home. So you guys left Mexico. That was our second to last day. Second to last day. We had to do one more show. We kept him there

for the last show. Yeah. But my show was good. It was the money. It was the money. You got it there. No, you know what was funny though? That was the last day

he ever fucked her. I mean, he knew that was it. It was like, that was it. It doesn't get lower than that. I think he did it on purpose. It does. But I stopped it there.

Yeah. I just think he knew it was over. I think I knew it was over. I can't continue lower than that. I think he did it on purpose. It does. But I stopped at the... I just think he knew it was over. I think I knew it was over. I can't continue because I don't want to lose everything. Oh, fuck. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can just feel things just slipping away.

And then when I get real serious with him... What'd you say? What'd you say? Do the joke again. I don't use it. What'd you say? What'd you say? It's okay, Andy.

What'd you say? Nothing. Okay, Andy? Would you say? Nothing. Okay, okay, all right. I'm not a good actor. All right. Okay, but you were saying? No, I'm sober now. That's good.

Santino, you were saying when you get real serious. He knows when I'm actually being serious. And then I got real serious in Mexico, and then it was like the end. It was the end. We both knew it was like, it's not going to happen. But Santino gives you a long leash. He does. Yeah, yeah. It was the end. We both knew it was like, it's not going to happen. But Santino gives you a long leash. He does. He's very patient.

I want to say something that is not funny. It's real. I have come to understand and feel that he is one of my best friends. Gay! It's okay. It If okay. If okay, if okay, if okay, if okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I regret saying it, but that's how I feel. Yeah, yeah. It was still kind of shitty. It was, I've finally come to understand he's one of- 20 years. My husband. Third circle.

Third circle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Third circle by myself. So this man loves you. I love him as well. I know he knows you love him. Yeah. But do. So this man loves you. I love him as well. I know he knows you love him. Yeah.

But do you know that he loves you? I do. I really do. I really do because there's a, you know. You can be loved. I know, and I'm accepting it. I accept the love. Sounds like it. I feel love here.

A lot of love here. We do love here. Yeah, I feel, when I walk in here, when I lock eyes with you, it's like I'm seeing like an old army veteran. Like we're in war together. Against. Against, yeah. You both pop up with guns and you're like,

hey, man. Still here? See you later. Get down! See the face, Bobby. This was one of the most amazing videos I've ever seen. And I've been meaning to ask you this ever since I saw this video.

This is very important. Are you going to play it from here, Mark? I'll play it. And it's a little graphic. So if you're watching at home, just bear witness. Because I was there. Luckily, I was there to do that.

Now, why did you think that was the thing to do? It's what you're supposed to do Hey man, someone breaks their arm You reset it as quickly as you can How many arms have you reset in your career? Upwards in the group of one That's how many girls I've got that's actually That's cool

Why did he let you do it? That's what I'm shocked by He didn't say get the fuck off of me no he could have said leave me alone don't touch me burt you have no fucking clue what you're talking about you're drinking a gallon of gatorade today there's no way i think we need to i think we need to we you're focusing on the wrong thing okay the he was the one that put it backwards like that okay that's the thing that's wrong i mean he hurt himself yeah yeah he goes to run he goes to jump right no he fell on it no no no no no no he he goes to jump and tom was like 270 this time yeah and his body wasn't set up to hold 270 yeah yeah so as he went to leap off that's a funny way of calling him fat this leg exploded yeah so his patella ruptured

and he went to grab himself and stop himself with his arm. But as he did that, it snapped and spun in a circle. Now that is... That is the impetus. That is the thing we should focus on. Not my resetting it. Do you think they were going to leave it like that

for the rest of his life? Leave it there. No one's going to touch it. Someone's going to eventually reset it. Do you think when they got him on the fucking gurney that they were going to like, leave it there, leave it there, leave it there. No one's going to touch it. Someone was going to eventually reset it. Do you think when they got him on the fucking gurney that they were going to go, no, no, leave his arm back behind him

like he's trying to pick his own pocket. But hopefully it's not someone named the machine that does that. No, but someone, but they weren't going to do it with machines.

No, they were going to, no. Or an actual machine that does it. They were just going to flip it around, a little flip-a-roo. So what I did,

a lot of people have come out and said that I probably saved his life. You might have. They were going to cut his whole fucking arm off. You just find those same doctors prescribing hydroxychloroquine for COVID. Can we give those four guys credit? The four dudes running around doing my

imitations are killing it. They're making money. I'm so pumped with those dudes. Those guys are killing me. Oh, the guys that imitate you. They're making money. I'm so pumped with those dudes. Those guys are killing me. Oh, the guys that imitate you. They are on fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so,

it's, out of all the things in my career that have ever happened, that may be top 10 of happiness for me. The fact that people are getting- Bring them to V Conference.

Maybe. They have to perform at V Conference. Maybe. We'll see if they get pussy. Yeah. Of course they will. Is this guy the best one?

Is he the best impersonator? This guy's a fucking beast. What's your question, my man? Alright, so basically, I'm looking now to get into the public speaking. Where are you? I would be calling every single house in the United States of America, okay? Giving them public speaking tips

in their bathroom, shower, fucking garage, yeah, in the garage. I was eating shit for like 17 years, doing tips for free, okay? You think it's a good idea to call every single house in America? Yeah, bro, are you making this an NFT? I'm not making this, no.

Okay, bro, like, garage sales. Pause. I'm not making this up garage sales pause I once read that you said that OnlyFans is a garage sale for pussy you didn't say that that's what history will say history will say that NFTs are garage sales for pussy.

Not your quote. No, I wouldn't use that word. Huh. Vagina? Mm-hmm. Vagina? Gary V! What do you think the V?

Listen, I think, is Tabasco sauce spermicide? And do we really think Drake put it in? I hope he did. You've got to explain the story. Okay, so basically what's happened is there was an instagram thought uh this is the huge allegedly okay instagram thought and drake link up drake's put this drake puts the smash on okay um put a condom on she described his penis seven inches and yo drake kind of looked thick man not going to lie. He's a thicker dude. He's not skinny.

Adds up. He don't look like he's got a skinny dick. Thick beard. Thick beard. He's no Jason Derulo. Even his head is thick. Doesn't he have like a wrestler head a little bit? He has a kind of thick head.

Yeah. Like his head kind of looks like one of them stone sculptures. Oh, like Easter Island? Easter Island. Yes. He's got a little bit of an Easter Island head. He used to look downsy in the beginning. He had a little downsy.

But now he's grew into it. He's glowed up. He's glowed up. Yeah, he did glow up. And I think he's doing something with the eyebrows to make it look a little bit less down. Because the eyebrows look like a thatch roof. I remember once I saw ninjas crawling on his eyebrows.

And look, they were sneaking in to do something something but it turns out the guy's not downs and he's putting tabasco sauce in condoms which is absolutely fucking brilliant high iq points they're very downsy why that's more that's like more maybe you know he's on a spectrum see this is the thing that a lot of people are assuming we're assuming he put the tabasco sauce in there to kill the sperm but you ever seen like a mexican with some cheetos and then they take some yeah he might have been getting like a latina exactly like he might have been throwing it in there right and then that's like a delicious treat yeah exactly for him or for her who knows okay i can see either who knows you don't know what these people are into we don't even know what this girl is if that girl's latina there's a chance that she was so drunk, she thought it was a bag

of Fritos that had some hot sauce in it, and then she just started pouring it in her pussy. Like the mangoes on the street. Exactly. The mangoes. They put hot sauce on it. 100%. What's to say that Latinas don't want also to have hot sperm? If Latinos like everything hot, why would they not want some hot sperm as well?

Yeah, maybe he's just trying to cook things up for her. You know what I mean? Season the food. 100%. I think that's where Mexicans come from. Hot sperm. Yeah. Hot sperm well? Maybe he's just trying to cook things up for you. You know what I mean? Season the food. 100%. I think that's where Mexicans come from. Hot sperm. Yeah.

I think it's just Tabasco and the pussy. Yeah. I think. This is possible. I'm not positive though. This is definitely possible. The logic adds up.

What's that? The logic adds up. It's sound logic. Now, do you guys really think that he did that? I want to think that he did that. So I choose to think

that he did that. Okay, you're choosing to think it. Al absolutely thinks, which makes me feel like you might have a little insider information over here. This is all allegedly. This is all allegedly. He might have tried this before. I got 15 abortions.

Maybe he does a couple Cholulas. Yeah, that's a pre-abortion. I could have saved myself a whole lot of money if I did that shit. No, but girls were emptying condoms into their pussy. That a whole lot of money if I didn't do that shit. God damn. No, but girls were emptying condoms into their pussy. That's another level of fame. Nah, girls do that shit. Emptying condoms

into their pussy. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I've heard about this. Just can you imagine them with like those huge fake nails trying to undo the condom? No, you don't undo it.

You just cut a hole in the top and pour it in there like you're designing a cake. Oh, fuck, Mark. That was pretty good. Thanks. It's Great British Bake Off, but like it really

is great british bake-off they just poke a hole in the bottom and then you can write the name or happy birthday on the clip oh my god yeah whoa you can write the name on the top of it like a hostess like a like a cookie that is but that is kind of wild that is kind of wild that you reach a level of fame where you have to destroy your sperm even though it's in a condom and of another question i have is has that ever worked a girl has used the sperm that was in a condom. And another question I have is, has that ever worked? A girl has used the sperm that was in the condom to get themselves pregnant after the fact. I can see it working. Isn't that the first

episode of Ray Donovan? It's just a bag of sperm, bro. Yeah, but it's spermicide in the condom. Spermicide's in the condom. I wouldn't know about condoms. Really? How long does sperm last for, bro? How long does sperm last for? It's in there swimming, bro. Say what? It's in there swimming, dog. It's not out in the atmosphere long does sperm last for? Son, it's in there swimming, bro. Say what?

It's in there swimming, dog. It's not out in the atmosphere. But once it leaves your dick, it's got to have a shelf life of like 10 seconds or something like that. Unless you put it in the freezer and then it can last a long time. Son, I'm saying. Yeah, but now you're busting right into the freezer. It's a few seconds to a few minutes.

And then they take that cup and they put it into a freezer. Yeah. So if you're busting to the condom, you got a little time. Yeah. I'm saying. You got a good half hour probably. Wow, this could work. This could absolutely work.

I don't think, this is my theory. I don't think it's real. I think that Drake is a brilliant marketer and he's like, I'm going to lean into the people believing this is real and I'm going to fan the flame a little bit and now we're out here talking about it because it's an absolutely phenomenal story. And 100% he does have to worry about who he gets pregnant.

Yes. Like, I don't get why you got to throw it away. I always flush the condom down the toilet. Yeah, why don't you do that? You're going to stop up the toilet. That's not supposed to get flushed. It's the Marriott. It's the Hilton, dog.

You're not going to give a fuck about their toilets. So you're just doing that at home too? I flush condoms always. It's the city. He doesn't live on septic. Yeah. What's the worry? Yeah, there's like so many apartments in my building. Also, I shit four times a day. It's ready to go. Well. It's the city. He doesn't live on septic. Yeah. What's the worry? Yeah. There's like so many apartments in my building.

Also, I shit four times a day. It's ready to go. Well, that's the difference. You got to throw it in the backyard. You let them do it. I actually knew a person who put so many condoms in the toilet. Oh, did you? More than me.

Oh, I knew a guy. It destroyed the pipes in the house. Really? And then. Oh, my frog. Put some in the toilet. Oh, the condoms are tall. The pipes are destroyed. I in the house. Really? And then... Oh, my frog! Put some of that cognac tall! The pods are destroyed! I want the whole day!

And then I showed up. And they had to chop down an oak tree. Why do you make yourself a Harry Caray? They chopped down an oak tree in the front yard because the safety thing had to get removed. You're a hot dog! Oh, shit! You know, boy!

How many cognac you was jerking off in back in the day? Sparmazan! Yo, you gotta tie them before you flush them. If you don't tie them before they flush them, Damn, boy. How many columns he was jerking off in back in the day? Spiderman's on. Yo, you got to tie them before you flush them. If you don't tie them before they flush them, then shit gets fucked up. Why would that make a difference? They get filled with water. It turns into a real balloon. That's how you clog the whole thing.

Bro, it's like an artery, bro. You got all these full balloons. There's water rushing through. They're expanding, And everything gets blocked up That's why you gotta tie the knot at the top Not so these sluts don't pour it in our cooter It's really because it will blow up within the plumbing system No it's not

Same thing why girls can't put their tampons in there Wait why? Because that also blows up Y'all never seen a tampon go in water or cranberry juice? Yeah I guess all the time Yeah On raffles Or cranberry juice Yeah cranberry juice? Yeah, it gets all thick and big. Yeah, on raffles.

Or cranberry juice? Yeah, cranberry juice is more like a period. Yeah, she's talking about the commercials from Tampa. Yeah,

I'm like, what? Also, they use the blue water in the commercials. When they use red in the commercials, dudes were like,

yo, get this gross shit on the fucking TV. What the fuck is going on over here? Never buy an ocean spray in Canada, bro,

fuck out of here. We're watching football, dude gets concussed. He's just bleeding out of his nose. Totally okay. That's a gladiator. That's a gladiator. A fucking tampon goes into red ink. Disgusting. Yeah, get that hypothetical whore off my TV. I'm not

doing that. Come on. Dirty slut. Yeah, man. There's some dirty whores out there, man. It's fucked up, man. Yeah, I don't get why you can't just do something else with a condom, I'll be honest. Yeah. Put it, like, have a shoebox put under your bed, like...

Yeah, deal. We don't really believe this is real. I don't, but I do. I believe it has happened, though. Yes. I dead-ass believe it. Really? Yeah.

So they probably order room service. You guys suck. You believe everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They order room service. Yeah. The room service comes with a little condiment

and they probably... They do be bringing Tabasco with the room service sometimes. the little condiments and they probably they do they do be bringing a little tabasco room service sometimes they do be doing i believe that 100 because allegedly he probably does take his condoms away after he fucks how do you think he rolls it off you ever think about that like when you're when you're thinking about drake like you ever think about how he rolls like how cock? Why are you rolling it off? No one rolls it off. I gotta roll my shit off.

You could just take yours off. Son, you pull. My shit be staying on. Shut up. No, it don't. No, it don't. No, it don't. You could just pull a condom on your dick.

Your condom gets stuck inside. I mean, they fall off. If I go soft, if I go soft, You can just pull a condom on your dick. Your condom gets stuck inside. If I go soft, if I go soft, it'll leave it in the pussy and I just put the hot sauce direct. I put the hot sauce direct in the pussy. A straw? Fucking halal guys.

Hot sauce, white sauce. I don't know, but looking at Mark is pissing me off. Okay? What? Do you want me to put my hair down? It's the fucking sunglasses, dude. I hate you so much.

Is it the sunglasses? Is it the sunglasses? Definitely contributes. Take them off. Take them off. Watch what happens. Yeah, you got to switch it up, dude. Let me see.

Oh, dude. Oh, so much. Well, now you look like a rip-off. You look like shit, but Al actually can pull off those fucking glasses, dude. You look like Morpheus. No, he doesn't. He looks like the Keymaker. It's a Matrix reference as well.

Thank you, Al. Thank you, Al. Don't bring up Matrix when you haven't even seen it. It's the new Matrix? Oh, my God. Manic Kun and Boza. Manic Kun and Boza. I'm sorry.

I'm trying to steer the country in the right direction right now. I don't have time for your fucking movies about woke red pills you know what i mean dude that movie was the first fucking red pill dude yeah you wouldn't be here without that movie made by two trans women respect yeah what's redder than that they're trying to get periods i don't know guys i don't know guys i don't know i need you both to take off those sunglasses i'm seeing the world 5d now for the first time okay why i don't know i see amazing i can to take off those sunglasses. I'm seeing the world in 5D now for the first time. Okay. Why? I don't know.

I see amazing. I can't believe this is how he sees all the time. Whoa, dude. Yeah. Everyone's black. It's awesome. Let's go. Black history glasses, dude. That's the best world.

That's what I'm saying, bro. I'm in Wakanda. Let's go. Except Biggie. He's white now. It has reverse effect. It's really strange. John Candy?

Al, wake it up, Miles. Okay. Al, can you please take the glasses off? It's absolutely infuriating me. Why don't you try? I think that's what you're missing. I'm not going to wear them. No, I like that.

I like that. Try them on. Damn, bro. That's embarrassing. If I had glasses. He said he was going to compete in the Olympics. That's what happened when I threw the lip gloss i just didn't catch it bro just catch it who'd you throw the lip gloss you try to kill you remember you try to take your life oh my god dude

i hate you so much why yeah these that they don't work they don't work they don't work i mean they work on me hold on actually low-key dude you don't look horrible no you don't look horrible dude I'm leaving him on honestly he doesn't look bad yeah you killed it I mean you look really cool

you look fucking cool dude I don't know why it's so funny but it is. Can I give one suggestion? Just take him a little bit down. One centimeter. Bang. Dude, you look so goddamn cool.

It's unbelievable. I'm going to fuck everybody, dude. Everybody getting fucked. You literally are Tom Cruise right now. Top gun. But he hides one of his best qualities, though. Yes, dude. No, no, but then you get the top gun like that.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Al almost let me suck his dick right there. No, no. But then you get the top gun like that. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Al almost let me suck his dick right there. I did almost. Yo, having nice eyes is cool with glasses because you peek over them. And then bust it out. You were hiding your best call. You're being humble.

Yeah, right? I'm being humble with this shit. Take them off. Take them off. Show it to them. Oh, shit. Hey, what's up, America? You're low key, dude.

What's up, Patreon? Do that one more time. Are you pricky? No, but my balls got fat and then my pants just split them. So I got the fat lips. So I got the fat pussy lips because my pants just hit it with the slip. It's always impromptu and so vivid. That's the detail.

What? The detail in the moment. I almost spit on my own clit. Stop. It's so graphic. We never told people how you clogged up all of tsa and almost had a natural security risk why did i do that do you don't remember this no what happened this is when we're going through tsa tsa pre-check no one's in the airport there's mad room like we're going through

the line and i go through dove goes through vala goes through and we're standing there and shoals is like where's my shit like my backpack and my jacket are not coming through and he's like walking around looking at the people asking tsa they're kind of looking around like looking at him kind of annoyed there's a line of probably 40 people lined up in tsa behind us now and they're all pre-checked mind you so they're all pissed off like yo can we go yeah and they pull them aside they go yeah it seems like a jacket is stuck in the x-ray machine. Wow. Can't handle me. He looks at all of those. Yeah. Apparently there's a jacket stuck in the x-ray machine. I think I know

who it is. This guy. Performance fleece, bro. Performance fleece. Are you rocking that Old Navy? No. I was Nike, and there's nothing wrong with Old Navy. We should be proud of Old Navy. I had some fucking cargo shorts as a kid. I had cargo pants, too.

Did you have any? You got cargo pants now, bro. Yeah. Sit in that, Al. Sit in that. There's nothing cargo about these goddamn pants. Okay? You know what cargo pants are.

Capris, I got it. Capris are different. I didn't even... It was so wrong, I didn't even know what cargo pants i got it i didn't even it was so wrong i didn't even know where you were going with it i'll be honest with you i had no clue but do you remember cargo pants the heyday in new york city we're fired we all had them all had it tan sometimes if you black you had the camos yo you no no no no don't give him his shit back don't give him his shit back sunglasses for guess my forehead bro you've got a visor son you don't need no fucking yeah you're good it's like his hat extends forward because his forehead's so big

yeah your eyes are pushed in yeah it's sunken but they don. But it only feels like my forehead's protruding. It's not your forehead that's sticking out. What is it? It's a little combination of both. I'm trying to help him out. It's normal. You're not built like Peter Dinklage at all, dude. It's not at all, dude.

It's not at all. Would you be gay? Right now? From French to gay, I don't know. Well, that's the gateway. Would I be gay? Be gay. Could you say more words so I know how to answer that?

What? Would I be gay? Mm-hmm. Come on, more. Would I be gay? Mm-hmm. Come on, more. Would I be gay if... Would you be gay? Just in general. Would you be gay?

I actually like the philosophical... Yeah, we're being French right now. Would you be gay? Yeah. We're in a cafe, dude. Given the opportunity, given the... Hey, that's for you to... Whatever.

Yeah, sure, why not? Hey, that's for you to. Were there circumstances? Yeah, sure. Why not? You don't need circumstances. No. Like if you just had an emotional and like romantic attraction to a guy, would you just. Would I go with it? Indulge in it.

I would be scared. And I would contemplate going towards that fear. Because of public scrutiny. I'll tell you a moment that I felt I almost became gay. So see a lot sort of like let's go okay i was uh 16 17 living in uh where i grew up in newton massachusetts and we had a my friends and i did a lot of drugs and a friend of ours took us to uh downtown boston loft show it was like a concert in somebody's loft apartment and super cool and i felt so cool being there and a friend of mine knew some of the bands so i got to meet them i'm 16 i'm 17 smoking pot you know and uh so we're leaving the loft we're going down these stairs that are going like this, and some guys are going up because it's continuing,

and one guy goes, hey, and I look up, and there's a guy at the top of the stairs, and he goes, he's wearing like Buddy Holly glasses or something. This is the 80s, and he says, hey, and I go, what? He goes, where are you going? And I said, well, we're leaving, and he goes, you're cute, and I said, thanks, and he said, come back up.

And for one second, I thought, that's a choice up there. That's just going back up, letting my friends go back to Newton and being gay. That was a choice. But I looked at him, and then I went forward in my head to the big cock coming all in my face. I was like, nah, let's go home. So homosexuality is a choice is what we're taking from this. For me at the moment, it was. A homosexual act would have been a choice.

That's always a choice. An act is always a choice. Well, it was like, what's my nature? Is that my nature? Is that what I want? I like things about the moment. I like that he was invited. He was a grown-up. And I was reaching out to want to be a grown-up. And he validated that. Yes, he validated me, and then he said,

I want you to come up and hang out with these grown-ups that you don't even know. That was interesting. But then when I added the gay sex angle on my head, I thought, that taints the moment for me. I don't want to do that. Because the sex part... I don't want to have sex with a man. I don't desire men sexually. But we want

validation from men. Sure. And we want to have sex with a man. I don't desire men sexually. But we want validation from men. Sure. And we want to feel cool. And you're at the cool loft party. And then in that age, you just, if someone gives you that, you know, you go, oh, yeah, I want to hang out with you. You made me feel like that. Do you think if you weren't already. I liked the way he talked.

He was assertive. Something about him, he seemed open and cool and like. Fatherly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, I'm going to fuck that kid. Come on up here.

This is French. Good for you. You're French, man. I'm not sure. You have a French honesty, dude. I think you're from where you are from in the world. Where am I from? Like stupid land, is that what you call it?

I'm sure you're aware of this, about like what's happening right now in America and how popular UK drill is becoming. Mm hmm. Are you familiar with this? Not too familiar. But bro, bro. I'm not. I'm not.

Dude, I'm serious. There's there's a song by Central Sea. Do you know Central Sea? You've heard of him. Yeah. Do you know Central Sea? I have to teach him about drill. Do you know Central C? You've heard of him. Do you know Central C? I have to teach him about drill. Hey, do you know this rapper in England?

Listen, there's a genre of music called UK drill. And Central C is a young bloke. Is that what they're called? He's the mandem. Yeah, he's one of the mandem. The bloke, you know. Yeah, is bloke a good word? Bloke's more like a security guard. Yeah, like an English thing you would say, like a white English thing. Yeah, is bloke a good word? Yeah, bloke's more like a quickie. Like a security guard.

Yeah, like an English thing, you would say. Like a white English thing. Oh, he's not. Well, what is Central City? He's half Guyanese. Yeah. Whoa. He's like a quarter Indian, probably.

And then what's the other half? I think Irish. So he's part bloke, right? He's half bloke. Yeah. He's bloke-ish. Yeah, I think he's bloke-ish. He's bloke, a little bit. Half of his family's like... He's oak, at least. Yeah, I think he's bloke-ish. He's bloke a little bit.

Half of his family's like... He's oak at least. Yeah. You know, half of his family's a little... Yeah. Anyway. Okay, so he had this song, and then the opening lyric was just so catchy. Yeah.

How can I be homophobic? Yeah. Right? And then immediately you were like, I would like to know how you could be that way. And then he has a good answer. Answer. His bitch is gay.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He keeps explaining it to him like he doesn't know. And that's... But he keeps looking at me like I'm explaining something. I think he's like,

is this dumbass really going to explain to me? Like, I don't know the song. Listen, a lot has changed since you started hip hop. Listen, you started hip hop. I know this... Hip hop didn't start in the Bronx since you started hip-hop. Listen, you started hip-hop. I know this. Hip-hop didn't start in the Bronx.

It started in East London. Yeah. Okay? With the nasty blokes. Okay? Listen, it was a crazy time back then. You're a hip-hop artist, right? No, I remember.

I'm with this. This is the version I remember. Yeah. Wasn't it crazy? Because originally, like, you know, we can go back. We'll tell the mandem about it. So, you know, back before that, before there's grime, there is, what was it? There was garage or something?

UK Garage. Garage. And then before that, what, drum and bass or something? Jungle. We called it Jungle back then. But that's, am I allowed to say that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How do they name it? Yo, sometimes they, it was just people in the neighborhood being like, what is that? It's the white people going, isn't that jungle yet? And then it moves up to like, hey, call it garage music.

That's a little better. Named by blokes for sure. I think there is a lot of pressure. If you think about it, the pressure's on Tommy. Yeah. Because he is fighting for the professional boxers and the boxing community. A lot of weight. And his older brother.

His name. His last name. His dad. They're so tough on him. He's the runt. Yeah, he's the runt of the family. He's a good looking runt, though. He's a handsome guy.

That motherfucker is fine. That kid's a piece of shit. Admit that's the hottest boxer you've fought. Yeah, you though, he's a handsome guy. That motherfucker is fine. Admit that's the hottest boxer you've fought. Yeah, you haven't fought a more handsome guy. I would touch his belly button. Of course, dude! You wouldn't take a little body shot, some tequila out of that thing? No, whatever. I laughed a little. If you look a little bit closer...

If you look a little bit closer Tell us about It was it was actually beautiful. He's not shifty, bro. He's 19 years old. You know what I mean? He put on a fresh little fit. It was looking good. He was feeling himself, bro.

And he had a Vans shirt, right? He had a Vans shirt on, and it was matching. He was feeling himself in his chest. And I like Vans. I fuck with Vans. He goes, all right. And this is masterful. He goes like this. This is that passive-aggressive white shit that Akash always says white people do.

I didn't understand it until it. But he goes, he goes, he shifted. You know what? Vans is a fucking amazing mall skate brand. Like, for the mall. Son. Son. What?

Call them zoomies, son. Son. Why are we doing zoomies, bro? Mark hates on everybody, dog. He does that. When he can't get pussy, nobody get pussy. Why are we doing this? I'm going to hate on everybody, dog. He does that. When he can't get pussy, nobody can get pussy. Yeah, I'm just saying, bro.

No one's getting it for a long time, then. Evidently. Shut up. Evidently. Evidently. Why are you such a jealous man, yo? What's that about? Shifty was feeling himself, bro.

Yeah. He was killing it. He was killing that Vans. That's foul. Killing him with the band But why'd you call it a mall skate brand, you know, yes is iconic Rocks vans, too. I like vans. That's why I said that but why did you say him? Why you say mall because all is a diss. It's a mall. That's a kind of fire body Somebody but put mall near it. Yeah, and it's a media

Bro, that's a great mall haircut Because there's nice places at the mall yeah but you said it yeah like what I'm a bad guy, dude. Honestly. Son, there's malls that got Rolex stores in them. I know. That's my point.

That's a mall watch brand. I mean, if you get it from there. Yeah, yeah. If you get it from there. You know he got your Rolex. Son. God damn. I ain't got that mall, son.

You got me a mall watch, bro. God, you got me a mall watch. I got that shit in Rolex, son. Don't do that. I got that shit in Rolex. You got that shit on Tenas. I went through five different motherfucking stores

to get that goddamn watch. On the street, bro. No, no, no. Nah, nah, dawg. I'll do that, dawg. You see what he's doing? You see what he's doing? You see what he's doing? Yeah, he's good at this shit.

You're an evil motherfucker. It's a nice one, though. You are evil, bro. It's a good evil, bro. This guy's a bad person. Word, son. Yo, you need God, bro. He needs God, yo.

Without God, this is a bad man bro A lot of people would die with you A lot of people would die with you If I didn't have God what would I be Mussolini Mussolini I've got God bro This guy loves God

I believe in me Buy my special Buy my special Please Buy my special! Please! Please buy it! Free speech. Free speech. Theinsouls.com

I think we gotta talk about that, right? Yeah, we gotta talk about the most important thing. That was such a deadbeat right now. He's just getting drunk shitting on everybody and getting them walking out every half hour.

That fucking sucks. Hey, we gotta talk about that. He made me gotta go pee too. Is it pee break time? But when he comes back in here, are we gonna talk about them pants, bro? That Al got? Al got pants like he dances like this. What is this shit right here?

Rave? Rave. Oh yeah, rave. I thought that was gonna be better okay i gotta pee can we break for one second to piss and then get it popping video games i think the gameplay is more important than the equity in the brand so for example like americans didn't give a fuck about soccer but we became obsessed with fifa oh yeah yeah yeah same thing happened with hockey games like yeah i ain't gonna fuck about

hockey but the games are lit the gameplay was so dope that like i was invested in yeah and i think that's probably like mario kart a little bit like so but that's an interesting thing like you develop a game around this brand that's bigger than the game. Yeah. But if the game is lit, you don't need to be coughing off this money to 007 and the James Bond enterprise. Yeah. Because even if James Bond wasn't there, if it was just called Zero Dark Thirty or some other shit. But I think you need the hook.

You need the hook. So the hook gets us in. The hook gets us in. It's like a brand sponsor. Pokemon was a car game for mad long but i feel like it didn't pop so then what's the one that these kids play now that they're killing each other they fly off the helicopter fortnight fortnight yeah that had no hook and it fucking demolished it was free though yeah that was like the first one that went free

games are free no no no you paid money for it. Fortnite is a free game. Oh, I did not know that. Like in the App Store, you download a free game. You download it on your console or on your Xbox for free. Which is smart because make money through the other things. And then they make crazy money off skins and other shit, like selling fake in-game products. Jesus, I didn't know that. And then they had the whole thing with the loot boxes, where you're basically gambling in the game, and they cut it out.

I heard about this. Yeah, the App Store's threatened to. But it's like actual gambling, where it's like, okay, I'm cut it out. I heard about this. Yeah, the app stores threatened to... But it's like actual gambling, where it's like, okay, I'm going to put in X amount of money, and then there's a percentage I could win this other shit. But not money, right? Just loot or whatever? Yeah, I think it was just loot. But then you could trade loot and sell it and gain money that way.

I'm pretty sure. I don't know. I don't really play Fortnite that much. Hey, Shifty. We're talking gaming right now. This is your wheelhouse right now. You lured him back in when did Pokemon pop off was it card game, cartoon or video game Pokemon was big in Japan came here and then yeah it was like

card game was big here the anime came out at the same time Pokemon is a great like mall video game you didn't hear us tell that whole story oh yeah son that mall shit bro that shit really just what did that make you feel like when mark just shit all over the outfit that you meticulously put together you were looking cool like stop stop hey can we get married in the mall? Like, it's cool.

It's cool, bro. Like I said in Kanye's song, it's cool. What, bro? It's cool. Nothing wrong with the mall. Where do we go surfing? The mall? Yo, son.

Yo, son. So Mike is good. There you go. Mike is good, bro. Mike is good, bro. I just want to show off his pants. There you go. Mike is good, bro. He's good, bro. Let's go. I just want to show off his pants. Let's go.

I've been waiting for the opportunity to show off his pants. Look at how short these are. He didn't even walk out that way. He walked right to the center camera. Am I in this one? He posed. We're not even back yet. We're back.

We're back, bro. Oh, shit. My bad. We're talking about Shifty, bro, and how you chipped away at his fucking self-esteem, What do you mean? Come on. He came to wear it. I didn't hear him. I just heard you guys talking stupid about video games.

Thank you. No! Yeah, he came in for the video games. We're talking about the Vans shirt you were wearing. Remember when Mark shit all over you? He called you a mall? It's a mall skate brand? It's fine.

I just ghosted him for like a week. I didn't talk to him. Damn! Yo, get in there, Shifty. Get in there. Get in there. That's not a comeback like that. That means he got in his feelings and he's like,

Oh, I'm not talking to you for a week. Were you in your feelings? No, I'm just not a professional comedian. I can't out-talk him. Well, he's not a professional. He's more like a ball comedian. No! This guy! Miles! Sit the fuck down, yo!

I hate your fucking pants! This guy's crazy, bro! That was good. This guy's a crazy guy! You killin' with that shit. It's so crazy, right? It's so crazy. So that shit was...

It was like, this is so like... Like the Paxman interview I saw was a very similar one. It's a political one. Yeah. But it was very, and he didn't play up the goofy as much. But it was, again, somebody trying to get him and talk him in circles. And then you talk them in circles. Do you lean into kind of being aloof because you know I can win that way and the win is that much more satisfying?

Actually, I wish I could say that because that sounds really cool. But like it's much more this, I'm involved in a negotiation with fear quite a lot of the time. Like, so I'm not like, I don't walk into environments and think, yeah, fuck all you. Like, I'm like, oh shit. You know what I mean? So I'm dealing with the reality of that. I'm dealing with the reality of fear. Like, not in a hopefully a high pitched anxiousitched anxious way but i'm observing the fear which i've come

through training and time to regard as your body is energizing now in case you have to be fast you know dealing with what adrenaline is rather than uh pathologizing adrenaline into a neurotic state but i don't feel like i'm gonna go in there and i'm gonna fuck him up although in my mind i do think when i'm dealing with someone like jeremy paxman who's like i don't feel like I'm going to go in there and I'm going to fuck him up. Although in my mind, I do think when I'm dealing with someone like Jeremy Paxman, who's like, I don't know, he's like, maybe he's like Anderson Cooper or something like that. He's like a political commentator. And he again was like, trying to get you, trying to get me. Yeah. Right. And also that stuff.

The other thing is, which is I believe in that stuff. I believe that like the primarily political discourse is carried out in a way to exclude ordinary people. And even the distractional tactics of turning people against one another on the basis of race or gender ignores the crucial arguments around class that most ordinary people have more in common with one another than they have in common with the elites that govern them and that's always kept off the table while the they exacerbate our differences to turn us against one another so when i'm like actually confronting one of those people i think fucking no I'm talking to them right now

so when I'm like I try to stay very very calm and then if they personally fucking do me it's on yeah that's it now I'm ready

let's go yeah yeah because that's rude I'm an Englishman that's a gauntlet round the chops isn't it yeah yeah yeah

so what it is is I don't go in there sort of overly confident, but I do go in there with a sort of a set of beliefs that I sort of hold on to. So something like that morning joke. I wasn't in a very good mood,

actually, that morning. The morning joke, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that one where it's that lady with the blonde hair, Micah. You know, when I went on that,

I didn't feel that good. And now, I weren't particularly happy with the trousers I was wearing, to be honest, Daniel. And like, so like when on top of that, they was started mugging me off.

I thought, oh no, no. They thought that they were trying to have like, I think they thought they were going to have fun with you. Like they thought that you were going to come in. They were going to tease you. Yeah.

You were going to be the clown and they were just going to kind of laugh at you. And you didn't look that happy going into it, which is always funny when you're trying to convince people to come to your happy show you know I'm terrible at that and and buddy

there was a moment where you just decided you're like okay well this interview is about to get taken over right now and I'm going to tell these people who I am

and it's going to be really interesting and they fucking folded yeah they got nothing to look at them people no disrespect to them they're probably all

like beautiful human beings. No, didn't he kill his secretary or something like that? Well, that doesn't seem right. Was the secretary particularly inefficient? Was there a tribunal process? Was there an opportunity to discuss KPIs? You're not delivering in these... Oh, no, straight to execution.

Why is the dick size so... The reason why it's important is because you girls don't understand the volume of your pussies. Right now, you girls are sitting here and you're both in your head going, I got the tightest pussy. Because you haven't heard anybody tell you

that your pussy wasn't tight in your whole life. We say your pussy's tight because it's a reflection of our dicks. Right. When we're going, oh, your pussy wasn't tight in your whole life we say your pussy's tight because it's a reflection of our dicks right when we're going oh your pussy's so tight we're really going oh my dick is so big right so so you're tied into like your tightness is tied into our ego right so every girl thinks they have the same size pussy and it's the tightest because every girl's been told they have the tightest pussy. When you're at the gym, you're not peeking into each other's pussies, right?

So you have no clue. Everything's internal. Guys, when we're like fucking peeing at the airport, you might walk and then there's a guy and he's holding his shit. You're like, yeah, that's the best. What country is he from? Are you saying more like because you're so exposed to other men's penises that it's on your mind more? Okay. You just see it.

And it's like you're at the gym. You see it. It's there. You're just naturally competitive because you see it. You see it and it's in porn. You don't see internally what's going on in there. Like there are pussies that are like tight and then they open up on the inside. But I guess what I was trying to get to is like dick size. You've never seen a little rugby football?

It's called assholes. You can be a better lover yeah you know and it with like the guy with the not as big dick could have no no i want you to keep saying this lie this is adorable keep going are you serious it's the motion of the ocean it's not i am not saying what it is i'm just saying like there's it's not that that's not the end all be all because no, it's really not. No, that's been like the worst sex of my life, like the bigger dicks I've had. But you're you're like a tiny thing. That's true.

You know, thank you. So that's the thing. So you probably don't need as much. Totally fair. But a bigger girl, she's going to need to get filled. The fuck off. Let's go. Right. Let's go. Right. Let's go. to get filled the fuck off let's go right let's go right she's gonna need some fucking campbell soup you know chunky maybe right so your idea of what

it is is gonna be different and your idea of like vagina size is gonna be different yeah i have no concept of vagina size because i don't care i only have one to be concerned with yeah well we also have that but you haven't been told anything to concern you like no guys in there like going the fuck yes but there are girls have different size pussies that's a fact also by the way girls don't walk around thinking we have the tightest pussy yeah i have given myself a very fair assessment. I think. I'm not like, oh God, you know, I don't think I have the grippiest pussy.

I think I have strength. Like my kegels are real strong and I know how to time it with the undulation of a man. What does that mean? When he thrusts in and out, you time when you squeeze, right? You squeeze and suck. It's a timing thing.

If you're just constantly doing this there's it's there's strategy involved but i don't think that i have the tightest pussy in the world no i think i just know how to do it and that's how i feel that men should also look at it because there's no i also but i'm very anti body shaming like I don't like I just don't see a reason to talk about like dick size and like better or worse because I've had sex with different sizes and different people and like it's not there's not a correlation to the good time that I had yeah that makes sense if the motion was good, is there a size that you would like the ocean to be?

Husband dick. Husband dick. Husband dick is where it's at. Guys, like, do you want some kind of, not a woman to be president. I know the answer's no. Hey, stop right there. I do want a female president. Trans female? No. That'd be fire. That's very progressive of you. That to be president. I know the answer's not. Hey, stop right there. I do want a female president.

Trans female? No. That'd be fire. That's very progressive of you. That'd be fire. I don't divide them up. Okay. Female is female.

Okay. And the future is female. So these are all important things. Why is that fine to be on a shirt, but when someone says it out loud, it's so funny. The future is female, but no,

I would love a female president. That would be fire. But do you want to know on some level, I was working on it. You got to let him finish. You got to, I know when a Schultz insult

is coming, so you got to let him get it. I don't have anything. I would, I think it'd be great. I think it'd be great for our country. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? You should call your insults insults. Insults. With a Z. Don't you want diversity? We had a Catholic president with JFK. Yeah, that was diverse.

Yeah. That ended great. White people were so funny back in the day. That was diverse at the time. Yeah, we can't elect this fucking Catholic. He's a Catholic. What is he going to do? Yeah, I don't know if I want to picture my president being fingered as a child.

Hold on. Hold on, Zach. Not all Catholics were fingered, okayered okay oh i thought you're talking about no i mean like a catholic president all i picture is like oh he got diddled and shit you know what i mean yeah that's a weird thing to lead with like i'm catholic do you think the priest is like proud of that like he's like y'all fingered a bunch of opioid addicts. I figured the president. All the Kennedy's. Yo, that's crazy.

Okay. But no, but seriously, tell me why. I know. I don't, my female president, whatever. You're against a female president? No. I was, I was working on a bit about how, like, do you guys want, I don't, I want to know that when a female president is in office that she's not sucking dicks. You don't want your president

sucking dicks? Like, if you're married, like, there should be, like, four years. You can outsource that. Your husband can have, like, a side. Yes.

Only business, because I don't want all of our world leaders to know, like, she's not a... Like, she could be... She has to service her husband at some point.

That's fire. Yeah, yeah. She should never be in a subservient position. She's a female president. But she should, though. That's fire. No, no, no.

Are you sure? Everybody's happier. Well, she could be lesbian. She'd be good. But so everyone would know. Oh, yeah, She should never be in a subservient position. She's a female president. But she should, though. That's fire. No, no, no. I'll sort that. Are you sure? Everybody's happier. But she could be lesbian. She could be gay. But so everyone would know. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, which that would be perfect.

Lesbian president, fire. Yeah, that's pretty... I did a lesbian president. How can we be a woman president? No, hold on. A president is gay. A president is gay. Or prime minister

for y'all out there if you don't know what a president is. Yeah, fucking whores. Whores. Fix your teeth. Just kidding. Do you there if you don't know what a president is. Yeah, fucking whores. Whores. Fix your teeth. I don't think we'll have a female president

in our lifetime. We said the same thing about black president. We did say that. I never said that. Winnie, you never thought it. I thought it. Nobody ever asked you,

but you did. You were a little surprised when it happened. I don't know. Trying to think. I don't remember. I remember when he was giving his acceptance speech. I didn't surprised when it happened. I don't know. I'm trying to think. I remember when he was giving his acceptance speech. I didn't vote for him, so I don't know. Get that motherfucker off the stage.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember? I literally thought that. I'm like, why is he in public right now? Do you remember the inauguration when it was covered with the bulletproof glass? Yes. It was wild. As soon as you saw the family walk out, and then from one angle, you saw all the reflecting of the light.

It was so, it made me sick to think. But wouldn't you think it'd be great to have a female president? Why would a female president be better? It has to be the right one. A bad one would be the worst thing ever because no one would ever want one ever again. It would be such a setback.

I'd say wait till the fucking perfect one, then Russian one in there. There's nobody you'd vote for now. What about Elizabeth Warren? She'd be talking sense. Michelle Obama? I- Michelle? She'd be talking sense. Michelle Obama. Michelle. Nikki Haley. Yeah. Tulsi Gabbard.

Yo, shout out Tulsi. I like Tulsi. I like Tulsi a lot. I don't know what happened. I feel like there was a weird little hit job that happened to her. Oh, yeah. Right? Everyone said she was like a Russian bot. I don't want to get too political. Okay, me neither. But if we did... No, I want to talk about her body. No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying like, if we did have'm not talking about her body no no no no i'm saying like if we did have a female president right yeah and i understand that you don't want her giving blow jobs because

you feel like that's subservient it's more like i just don't want leaders thinking that's going on because there's a lot of other countries that are way further behind than we are that might look down upon that what if what if she's getting fucked in her shit box they might think we're i was gonna say they made they were weak if they know it's just shit box they might think we're I was going to say they made they were weak if they know it's just shit box they're like that's a fucking that's a boss

man she takes in the ass like a man that's a boss I don't think there's anything wrong with giving blowjobs I think it's a very empowering thing

but do you ever like I don't think that's subservient at all you're married now so you're never going to get no I don't remember what they're like, but what I'm saying is

I do remember there was a time where I felt so weak when I would get a blowjob. I felt like I had no control whatsoever. That's true, because I have two sets of teeth. Don't do this

when you talk about it. This right here, you stop right now. This right here, you stop this immediately, okay? You gave me some winter dick. This little piggy. Don't do that at all. That is,

I guess, really a power position because you are holding the most valuable part of your body between your teeth. Interesting. Remember, there was that great Chappelle joke. No, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where the she was sucking the dick and then she wanted to get shit done. Sucking the president's

dick. Oh. We need to lower these done. Sucking the president's dick. Oh, wow. We need to lower these taxes. Is this a Google search? Oh, yeah, that was. It was killing him softly. It was killing him softly. I really think we should lower taxes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Huh. It was way better when he did that shit. I'm sorry. I lobbed it up to you because I was like, I'm going to butcher it. That was the meanest thing anyone's done about Chappelle in the last month. Yeah, dude. Jesus, man. Okay.

It's very funny. Go check it out. I just wonder if there's a female president. There's just certain things we have to let everyone know. You know? Like what? Like just she's not, you know. She's not what?

She's not going to have her period? She doesn't have any balls on her chin for four years. She's not going to have her period? Oh, yeah. I don't have to worry about that. for four years. She's not going to have her period. Oh, yeah. I don't have to worry about that. Oh, that's a good point. I don't know. Do you think about stuff like that when there's like a woman leader?

Do you look at the husband and go like, ugh? Do I look at the husband and go, oh, he's got to deal with her on her period? Or just something. I don't know. We've never had a female. I'm just curious. I don't. Like Angela Merkel?

Yeah. Her? Mm-hmm. That was cool. Do you know Sylvia Berlusconi? Yeah. Yeah. So he, do you see, I did a podcast for Wondery where I like narrated the whole thing.

So I learned a lot about Silvio Berlusconi. Can you explain who Berlusconi was? Prime minister of Italy. But also like kind of a gangster. The most gangster. Super billionaire. Yeah. Controls the cable networks.

He basically, he's basically what Trump. They were going to Mussolini that shit one more time, basically. Well, yeah, basically he owned all the TV networks. He put all these like shows, like showgirls on and then put them all in parliament. Like literally showgirls. Like he just like bought the country. He bought the football team, soccer, whatever the fuck. And his slogan to run for prime minister was go Italy and aligned it with football.

And that's the most important thing to them. So he just like, people would go like, why are we vote for you? And he's like, go Italy, Italy wins only. Like it's very Trump. Like Trump's like, loves him. Super corrupt, like just a lot of mafia. He can't be excited about his country?

A lot of mafia money. Well, no, the week that people were, the magistrates were investigating his like money laundering and not paying taxes. His truly four best friends, like you, you and you, were all found having just committed suicide, like in their homes.

Like his three best friends, like the most crazy shit. Were they in Orlando? It's a great question. Great question. These are things that we have to know. Before we get conspiratorial on this podcast, here's things that we have to know before we get conspiratorial on this podcast there's things that we have to know there's a video of him calling angela merkel

a fat ass i mean she's not the best built bitch i've ever seen in my life but is that kind of what you want out of a leader yes sturdy hips yes i don't even know if she has hips like cankles yeah she's like um who's like our hottest leader that we still respect? Oh, that we respect? Like Amal Clooney? Like who's... Like how hot can you be? Look at her.

Hold on. How hot can you be and still be taken seriously? No, I need you to... No, I respect this woman. Yeah, this... She's going to get shit done. No kids, right? Uh...

I don't think any kids. Got a husband, no kids. That is a Down syndrome-y haircut. You think she has Down syndrome? That haircut, her barber does. For sure. Who is that fucking NFL team owner? Al Davis.

Al Davis. Mark Davis, his son. Mark Davis. Mark Davis, yes. Mark Davis. Yeah, she's an odd one, this woman. But you don't have to look that bad. Is that Coco?

No. That's Coco. Isn't that Ice Cube's wife? This is the Croatian president. This is not just... I don't know if this got debunked. That's her body? I don't know if this got debunked or not.

That looks like Coco, Ice-T's wife. Let's move to Croatia. It's the Croatian president. You see what I'm saying? So it is possible. Okay. Go there. Okay.

Yeah. It is possible. How big is Croatia and how serious are they? Very big. These, I think. What problems is she solving on a daily basis? All of them. 4 million people in Croatia. 4 million people in Croatia.

4 million. You have no excuse not to look like that. Listen, the president sets the bar. Got it. You need to be an attractive, good-looking man or woman. I'm not pointing at you because I'm saying you are. I'm just saying that Angela Merkel is representing Germany in a way that's kind of odd. Do you want that to be the face of Germany?

The man from up? You mean the parachute from Up? I mean, come on. This is not how you want your country represented. No, but she gets shit done. Look at that. She's not busy trying to look good. She gets shit done.

I was wondering where Pat Nod's mom was. Yo, this is fucking Ratatouille. Ratatouille is your president. Or prime minister. Or whatever the fuck it is. Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.

I was curious what Brian Posehn was up to. Yo, what happened to Brian Posehn? Is he out here running jerky? Okay, can we be serious? It'll be interesting. I'm not like a we need a female. I'm like, don't put any women in any positions where they're going to fucking suck until they're fucking extra good. Why? Because you think we're going to go, I told you so?

Well, no. It's just most politicians suck. Women are not, right? Or are disappointing in some way. I mean, what politicians do we still like after they served any time? Barack. Yeah, that's true. George Bush.

But I don't know. Jimmy Carter, we like more. If he drops a podcast, are you still going to like him as much? Who? Obama. I've listened to a Barack podcast, for sure. That voice? I'd listen. Oh, yeah. I feel like he's one podcast away from people being like, buddy. They did do a podcast, right?

He narrated... The Lakes. The Parks. This thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He narrated that show. Called The Parks Project, right? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. And he just told everybody about the parks that we have. Yeah. But it's wild because we're like, hey, Brock, white people know about these. Hold on a second.

That got greenlit? This is by Netflix? That was greenlit by Netflix? Gotcha. Are you guys going to say something about Netflix? No, not at all. I think that they're making phenomenal decisions. Obviously, they made a great decision with you.

Dropping it on a Monday night, the night everybody's super excited to watch some stand-up comedy. Look, in China, that's Tuesday morning. Dude, what is with the drop times on Netflix? You know the problem with Netflix is they literally just, what is it called? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. They're like, okay, they think they're like an old Italianian town where there's only one restaurant do you know what i mean they're like yeah we can take a nap during the day because there's no other place for people to go yeah yeah but now that there's like a bustling city yep you have to change things a little bit you have to learn how to market yeah

you know what i'm saying yeah and they're not like dropping it on a monday night um well here's the thing uh i do make lots of transphobic jokes in it, so please tune in. Oh! Perfect. Do you think that in your lifetime, you will be able to befriend an Indian or somebody like that? I really do.

I really do. I just didn't believe that. I don't know for some reason. I love you. Ask me again. Ask you again? Okay. Do you think in your lifetime

that you will be able to befriend an Indian? Yes. Yeah. No. And what do you think is getting in the way? No, I have Indian friends. That's what they say, right? I do.

That's what they say. I have Indian friends. Who would you name? I can't think of one right now. Name four Indian people. Shanti. My friend Shanti, she used to open for me. Shanti?

Yeah. The rapper? No, she's from San Francisco. She's a very funny comic. Okay, that's one. She's very Indian. Name another one. Name another one.

Izzy Zanzari. That's two. He returns your phone calls? No. Izzy Zanzari, what's the third one? I'd say Akash. Oh, no, no. Danny from Community

Danny Pudi yeah love him oh good Danny Pudi great guy really isn't he half Indian

what he's half Indian yeah yeah still I love him that's why you love him that's all I know that's why you love him literally all I know

which half do you like more no we know we know the half that thinks Andrew is nice to him you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah how many Indians. You know what I mean? How many Indians do you know?

None. I don't. I didn't claim to know any of these people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know a lot? My neighbor as a kid. He actually does the best Indian accent for a white guy. My neighbors are Indian as a kid, so yes, I do know a lot. Wait, you can do Indian?

They were only Indian as children. Really? Yeah. They grew out of it? You do. If you're lucky, you do. Wait, I want do Indian? They were only Indian as children. Yeah, yeah. They grew out of it? You do. If you're lucky, you do grow out of it. Wait, I want to hear the Indian. His Adolf Hitler is great.

We'll get that. Dude, his Adolf Hitler. My Indian Adolf Hitler is really good. Go. Go. Hit it. Are the trains ready? We've got to kill the Jews, man.

Dead on. Dead on. Dead on. Did I get the sound guy? I didn't know you lit it up on the sound guy. So good. You are a good actor, dude. Oh, my God. Good God.

So this is him just being curious. He's just kind of looking around. No, no, no, no. Incorrect. No, that's a polar bear. He smells meat, and he's trying to get in there and eat that dude. He's just kind of look no no no no incorrect You know you don't think you know that's a polar bear He smells meat and he's trying to get in there and eat that dude. That's 100% what's going on. He's not curious You don't think you sniffing around? Look at this that polar bear smells that man's meat. That's why he's doing this this has nothing to do with curiosity

He is trying to bite that box to eat that man. 100 million percent. I mean, this is insane. Yeah, because polar bears only eat meat. They're not like any other bear. They're the most predatory of all bears because they don't have any other options. They don't have any vegetables. There's no grass. All they eat is fucking seals or anything else. Photographers. Anything that's there. Polar bears will come for you. So what do you do in that situation? Dude.

Pray. I heard the most terrifying story of these explorers. They were on an icebreaker. And they were on an icebreaker. I don't even know if this is true. What's an icebreaker? Oh, an icebreaker is a boat. So they're out there in wherever the polar bears live.

Yeah. And they have a leak in their boat. They have to literally get off the boat because the polar bears live. Yeah. And they have a leak in their boat. They have to literally get off the boat because the boat's sinking. Yeah. So they make their way to an ice raft. They get off the boat onto this ice raft. Uh-oh. And they wait.

And there's multiple hours before someone can come get them. And they see a polar bear. Oh, fuck. And they see a polar bear on a neighboring ice raft. Yeah. And he's looking at them and he stands up and bloop, comes up in the water. Oh, fuck. And pops up on the next one next to him.

And they're like, oh, man. Bloop, back in the water, pops up on the next one next to him until he's right next to them. He dives in the water, comes up onto their ice raft, takes one of the guys, grabs him, pulls him into the water, swims with him

over to the other one, and starts eating him. Right in front of those dudes. Holy shit. So they're standing there going, what the fuck? Where did you think it was heading at? Get away before... And then the boat comes.

So they have to watch their friend get eaten by a fucking polar bear. They have to watch their friend get eaten by a fucking polar bear. They have to watch their friend get eaten alive by a polar bear. Oh, that's fucking true. And they eat you alive, too. They don't bother killing you. Do you have any friends that died from grizzlies or anything like that? No, no, I don't.

I do have friends that have been chased by grizzlies and attacked by grizzlies. And what happened? And brown bears. Well, most of the time, what they're trying to do is scare you. Most of the time, it's like a female with her cubs, and you just zigged when you should have zagged. That's his thing. He thinks he can zag at the right moment. There's no zagging with bears.

And that's happened with friends where they got charged. Shot at them? Cameron? That happened with Cameron? No, he never had to do that. But Steve Rinella from that show Meat Eater has a horrifying story. They had shot an elk on a Fognac Island, which is this island in Alaska where the biggest brown bears live. These things are fucking huge, man.

Like 11-foot tall bears. They're monsters. And they killed this elk. And when they went back to retrieve it, they noticed bear shit. And they ignored it. And they said, let's just sit down and have lunch. And we'll carry this meat out of there. And they heard a noise.

And then they turned. And there was this fucking giant beast just running through the camp. And they all stood up. And guys were falling over each other. The bear was, like, running right past them. all stood up and guys were falling over each other the bear was like running right past them one guy this guy's name's dirt myth wound up on top of the bear as it was running down the holy shit for like 30 feet falls off onto the ground the bear runs off into the woods and starts hoofing at them and they they scramble back to the camp they didn't have their guns on them

the guns were sitting there all they were doing was eating lunch. They had no idea it was going to happen this fast. And then all of a sudden, they've got guns. They've got to try to back out of there. But the bear had claimed their elk. Oh, it took their kill? Yes. They got off easy.

He decided it was theirs. Oh, yeah, they got off easy. They just lost an elk. Who cares? Who cares? They're lucky that's not the bear. I don't even know if they lost the whole elk. I think they only lost part of it.

I think they were in the process of cutting it up and shipping it and moving it back to their camp, which was like a couple of miles away in this rugged terrain. This thing just come out of nowhere. Yeah. Is it just the bear that you have to worry about? You got to worry about everything, man. The thing that's great about the woods is that it's a human reset. When you're legitimately out in the mountains,

it's a human reset. Because you realize, oh, no one gives a fuck who you are. No one gives a fuck about you. Everything here is trying to do their thing. The bulls are literally killing each other the fuck.

They're killing each other. What do you mean? They grow weapons every year. They compete. They kill each other. I didn't know they attack each other. That's how the female pieces, dog. The males will, like, there'll be competition. Whoever wins is the dominant male. That's who the female will mate with.

And mates with all of them? Two bull beltsks fighting. Whenever she's in like heat or whatever, that's when male competition happens. She's saying, I'm going to choose the dominant male because I want the strongest genes for my offspring. Yeah. I control this because I got the eggs. So look what happens. Look, they start smashing at the water.

Those are two big ass bulls. No. And they decided they both want to be the king shit of the herd. And so they have to go to war. They both want to be the king shit of the herd. And so they have to go to war. So if you are in the woods and you're elk hunting and you hear clackety-clack, clack-clack-clack, clack-clack-clack, clackety-clack, you're like, oh shit, they're fighting.

And you could run in and kill one of those bulls because they're distracted. Have you seen when they get locked up? Sometimes they'll lock up their antlers and they'll just die that way. Dude, I've watched this personally from 50 yards away. Really? It's amazing. It's amazing to watch. It's wild. Yeah, it's terrifying.

And then what happened? Well, in my situation, the wind was bad and we never really could get a shot. There was too many trees and shit for us. By the time we got to them, they had smelled us and took off. What's the biggest animal you could beat the shit out of? I don't think I could beat the shit out of a monkey. I'm really scared a monkey would fuck me. What about a wolf?

I'm not kidding. Did you ever see that video of a monkey who pulls that strip of that dude's head off? Monkeys are freakishly strong. But it just climbs. This guy's trying to be peaceful. He's on his sitting crisscross applesauce, and the monkey comes and sits on him.

He's like, hello, my friend. And the monkey just bites his head and pulls a giant chunk of his scalp off and runs away. Can you get that up, Mark? I mean, pulls like a fucking Subway sandwich-sized chunk of scalp from this dude's head. I'm not bullshitting. Like this big. Do we have monkeys in America? No, we do not.

What about South America? South America has some monkeys. Arian Foster, who's a football player, he said, I could take a wolf. Yeah, he's crazy. We talked about it on the podcast. We did a podcast together. That's ridiculous.

No chance. No, impossible. Even you. No, no, no, no chance. No chance. It's literally like a machine that crushes moose bones. Okay.

So no animals. A wolf's bite is five times stronger You would get, it's literally like a machine that crushes moose bones. Okay. Okay. So no animals. A wolf's bite is five times stronger than a pit bull's. Did you see this? And their teeth are designed to crush bones. Oh, this is the craziest shit I've ever seen. What are you doing in this situation? So this is a family that went to Thailand for like a trip, okay?

If I'm not mistaken. So they're like hanging out and they go to like an orangutan exhibit. Oh, no. And this is like one of the, this is not graphic, but this is one of the things that they do. Oh, no. I'm too mistaken. So they're hanging out, and they go to an orangutan exhibit. Oh, no. And this is not graphic, but this is one of the things that they do. Oh, no. Too high for this. Watch this lady get bit.

But she's just chilling there, and then they do an orangutan experience, and this is what happens. He walks up behind her. Mm-hmm. Do you see what he's grabbing? Grabbing her boobs. Smiling, tongue out. He smiles and then just

dips. But I don't think I would want to be that close to an orangutan ever in my life. No. Yeah, it's not necessary. If that thing wanted to, it could pull you apart like a roll of toilet paper. Just shh. Yeah. It could pull you apart like you were nothing. We think of

art like, oh, it's not that much bigger than me. It's kind of the same size as me. It's not even the same thing. Strength to weight ratio. We're made out of jelly donuts. That's what it is. There's not a goddamn animal where you wouldn't be able to fight off a feral cat.

Bears are the scariest animal. I'm glad we actually cleared that up. I think they're one of the scariest. I accept that as an apology. But big cats might be even scarier. Yeah, I'm more afraid of a big up. I think they're one of the scariest. I accept that as an apology. But big cats might be even scarier. Yeah, I'm more afraid of a big cat. Big cats are way more afraid of a tiger. I feel like I could get away. I'm being dead serious.

With a tiger or a lion, I feel like there's nothing I can do. Do you remember when you scared me with the bear thing? No. Do you remember this? I forget where we were. We were at some comedy club. I told you about fear of bears. And I was on edge all day because I was going through all my childhood trauma with bears.

And then you just popped out of nowhere at the comedy club. I think we were in Salt Lake City. Do you have a lot of childhood trauma with bears? I mean, kind of. As a kid, it was the scariest thing in the world because we would just be sitting in our house. And all of a sudden, all the trash cans would rattle. And I'm like six years old. And all the dogs would start barking crazy.

And then we'd run outside. And there'd be a bear there. And Florida bears are like Florida people. Yeah. They're all very, very unpredictable. Smoking PCP, these bears. They're people. Yeah, they're all very unpredictable. Smoking PCP, these bears are crazy. Unpredictable, running from the law. Wearing Trump hats.

Yeah, they got guns and shit, bro. These bears have guns, dude. And I would go outside and I would just bump into one. And I'd run inside. I'm like six years old. And then my family found out about it. They bought a bear mask. And then we had a full bear mask and I'd be sleeping in my bed eight years old. My brother kicks in

the door, wakes me up and growls. And I'd wake up and there'd be a bear in front of me. This is amazing. So we made fun of you because of this? I didn't listen to a lot of things you said earlier when you were opening it up. I got so terrified of bears. And then they knew once I got comfortable with the bear mask, then they just flipped the mask inside out.

So it was like just a beige Oh, and then we did something. Did we print out a picture? No, we were planning to do it. We never did it. Oh, I don't know if we ever did it. It's still coming. But we wanted to scare you with a full bear costume.

I was terrified. It's still coming. Oh, my God. Be honest. Please don't. It's going to come. That's the scariest animal. Real bears are fucking, they're weird to see because you actually see them in the wild.

I saw one grizzly, and it wasn't a big one. It was only about six feet tall. But it stood up, and it was looking at us. It was looking at us in a totally different way than anything's ever looked at me. I saw a bear when I was in fucking Montana, and its cub. Nothing. I was biking.

Was it a black bear? Maybe a black bear. I don't believe you. I swear to God in my life. I was at Mundo's bachelor party. We're doing a bike trip. I don't believe you. You need to God on my life. I was at my boy Edmundo's bachelor party. We're doing a bike trip. I don't believe you. You need to get a high more often.

I have video. I have video of the bear. He's not arguing with you. He's fighting against the feeling the weed is bringing inside of you. What is the feeling? I don't think I'm high anymore. I think it passed. Oh, yeah, you're fine.

Okay, let's get him a little bit more then. More afraid of bears or sharks? Give us a blunt because we're in New York. It depends on where you are. We've got to smoke a backwood. Oh, yeah, oh yeah pop these out on the ground bring the whole joint over yeah on the ground no i give the whole thing oh we got the dipped ones that's too crazy for me but just bring out the whole thing over and then we could choose so here's my answer on the ground a bear is not as scary as a shark is in the water when are you gonna just be in one of our videos

whenever you want would you actually. Oh, that's sick. In a heartbeat. That's sick. I'll be honored. Let me see what we got coming up. Let me run some of these by, is there a camera behind us? I just want to let you know, I do get,

I do scare, yeah, I do have fears. Okay. Heights. Which is very, very bad. No one cares. I'm kidding, kidding. Now you just got it where it's funny for me to be mean to you, so I have to play into it.

That's the show. We're mean to each other for money. The next one is fully booked. You can't come. Oh, sorry. Damn it. It's lasted. Take hand off private jet, keeps it.

Last to what? Take hand off private jet, keeps it. Take the hand off a private jet? Oh, that's sick, dog. That's a banger. But he would lose. Like, it's not even like... Yeah, I wouldn't.

He would give up so fast, but it'd be sick. I mean, like, the thing with the private jet is it's the cost of, like, having it. Just fucking sell it. Yeah, I guess. Dumbass. I'll buy it off you. All right, all right, let's see. We'll see how I got myself back in the video.

Oh, nice. The one after that, we're testing, like, crazy experiments. So we're seeing if, like, a brick wall can stop a train. If, like, a tank can... A Lego wall can stop a Latino. There's a lot. I'll be there for that one. If a tank with whatever connected to a train, which one pulls each other.

Ooh. That's interesting. What about a tank and a Chinese person? Stop. No. See, he does this. He does this. That's a historic event.

I'm glad we got you. Yeah. That's a historic event, dude. No. This is why your ad revenue is low. Fuck. We're losing money. We're bleeding money.

Damn it. Bro, this podcast could have had great. You have me, the family friendly guy here. We could have had great RPMs. And you just said no to $30,000. Hey, you know what I do? I reinvest the money, bro. I give the money back.

Yeah. All dozens of those dollars. You give the money back. Exactly. We don of those dollars. You give the money back. We don't need those dollars. We want content. It's stuff like that. So experiment video. I don't know if you want to come.

The one after that, we're going to try to fix a thousand people's eyesight. I think it would be cool. Oh, I like that. Yeah. Because like just a lot of people just can't see. And the only reason that it is because they just don't have money, which kind of blows my mind. I love that. Yeah. That's beautiful. That's philanthropy.

Yeah, you can come to that one if you want to. So what's the next one? See, the problem is, if I go any further, sometimes I'll just say an idea and then there's 30 YouTubers watching. They're going to go do it. They're like, oh, you're doing that in November? Alright, guys, we've got to get it up in October.

They do. So I can only give you like the – I'll be honest. I am down, 100% down. I fucking love what you guys do. I think it's absolutely amazing. I would be honored to be in videos. So whatever one, I think it would be funniest if I was really afraid.

Okay. And there are things that I'm quite afraid of. Well, we are going to Antarctica later this year. I will do that. Okay. Everyone says that. We got like – I will. later this year. I will do that. Okay. Everyone says that. We got like... I will.

You will? I will go to Antarctica. Okay. We got a... Tariq's our person picker. Post is wanting to go. We might get Logan, KC. Holy shit.

We got to see how many seats are on the plane. Yes. Tariq, does he get to go over Post Malone? Yeah. Oh, shit. You don't have a white Iverson,

though. You know what I mean? Come on. You don't have one song. Actuallyon, though. You know what I mean? Come on. You don't have one song. Actually, you know what? I want to rip Post, but he seems like a really sweet guy. No, he does. I don't think he's going to last in Antarctica.

Say again? He seems sweet, but I don't think he's going to last in Antarctica. He's a cowboy. He's got that. It's not last to leave. He's a Texan, dog. Come on. Let's bring everybody.

I think we got to bring everybody. All right, well, then we need a bigger jet. I think we're going to need a bigger jet. Do you mind sitting on Post's lap? Which way? Can I face him? That'd be kind of fun. Cowgirl.

One of the things we're going to do while we're there is there's tons of mountains that have never been climbed. So we'll climb a mountain in Antarctica, be the first people to ever climb it. We have to be the first person to do a podcast in Antarctica. I know. That means I got to bring the boys. Thanks, brother. Bigger plane. Bigger plane.

I think Logan was planning on doing an impulsive there. Yeah, but nobody wants to watch that. Nobody wants to watch all that. Listen, we'll do it at the same time, and let's just see whoever retains more. Just like the YouTubers watching this with all the ideas. They're like, let's go. Yes. We'll bring Starlink. I'll bring Starlink with us this with all the ideas. They're like, let's go. We'll bring Starlink.

I'll bring Starlink with us so that we get it up first. Yeah, that's smart. Genius. I like that. This guy's got it. We got this? I think so. We're going to go through all that effort. We've got to really optimize it.

Talk to me. Like, you know, less going off tangents, a little more structure probably. Just really get that retention up. Some type of story at the end that people watch the whole way. You're really taking the essence away from this podcast. Yeah. No, what?

It's the essence to keep it random? No, that's not. I got your eyes. I don't want to be here anymore. You know how when British people ask questions, they're really just shitting on you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you do. I'm not. I'm trying to help you. I care about you. Are you trying to have a successful show? I'm trying to get your attention up so you get more views,

so you can shit on Netflix more. Let's go! No, but we like Netflix. Netflix is good. We both use them, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, but you make more money on your own. That's facts. How much is that? Thank you so much for watching, Flavorant.

Oh, fuck! Now they're leaving in droves. Wasn't that a good... Now they're leaving in Flagrant. Oh, fuck. Now they're leaving in droves. Wasn't that good? Now they're leaving in droves. Oh, fuck. I mean, we're still in. Come back, come back, come back. Everybody thought, hey, you lost two to three percent. Do we bleep them?

What? Do we bleep that moment? You should or you lose viewers. Oh, that would keep them interested, actually. Okay, okay. Title and thumbnail for this episode. What are some interesting things? You were talking about sexual positions, I think.

You were talking about that. Then it'll get suppressed. That'll get dinged. Yeah, it'll get suppressed. Okay. It needs to be like, why Mr. Beast stalker or something like that. The story I was telling about Dubai or something like that. Mr. Beast drinks alcohol for the first time.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that won't get used. That was good. No, was that a good one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was pretty good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're pretty good in the bad bucket. In the bad bucket. Yeah, yeah. That's the worst. We're talking about the good ones. Oh, we don't want to do good bucket? Yeah, yeah.

We're talking about the ones that keep my age. I've never done anything bad in my whole life. Ever once? Never once. Oh, dude. I'm just a perfect person. Yes. Christian.

No, I... Oh, shit. We got him back. Sorry, Tariq. Take that, buddy. Crusades 2020. Let's go. Okay.

How Mr. Beast is making more African Americans. Okay, that, I don't know. I don't think, though. That might... What's the plural coming from? Remember the goal here was to keep the money the same as I came in. Yes. Wait, what do you mean by that i don't know i just feel like you're gonna just keep taking this and run with it yeah yeah we gotta affect the brand we need to tame tame one tame it okay i mean here just come up with you're the data guy come up with something great and i'll

just tell a story to give you the title yes oh so start with title and then yeah like ideally we would have done this before the podcast so we could have tricked them. Oh, shit. That would have been genius. Mr. Beast slaps Andrew Schultz. That would be pretty good. Is that a good one? Can I do it?

Let's go. Let's go, baby. Oh. Did he grab his nuts? Yes, they were hanging down like a bulldog. Yeah. Oh, jeez. So I didn't want you to slap my butt.

But then when you grabbed the nuts. Well, you could have slapped my butt and hit my nuts. I'm trying to have a baby with my wife. Gotcha. So I got to be careful. Here, can we get like a free, Tariq, can you grab like a free roaming camera? We can get like, we got free up there. Okay, can you just punch it on his face?

I don't actually have to slap you. I just need like, no, face me. Okay. And I'm like. Yeah. Do I go with it? Bro, my hand's so cold. Oh, just deal with it.

So now act like I'm slapping you and look at that camera. You have a cold hand, dude. I know. He's a robot, no. Do I go with it? Bro, my hand's so cold. Oh, just deal with it. So now act like I'm slapping you and look at that camera. You have a cold hand, dude. He's a robot, bro. So act like I'm slapping you. Look at the camera. Okay. Eyesight makes him click. Dude, your hand is freezing.

I know it is, bro. Feel how cold that hand is. Oh, my goodness. You don't get that. Ex-machina. Not you. You know know my favorite moment of your rogan was rogan is getting all excited or he's like watching somebody climb a

mountain or some shit and he was like oh freak dude i'm getting scared just watching me look i'm nervous feel how sweaty my hands are and then he just jimmy just goes no i'm good i was like no please feel the sweat on my hand i was, I really am good, Joe. I don't need to feel it. I think I was like, I can imagine what it feels like. But you felt it, though. Did I? I don't remember. No, you didn't.

I really don't. That was the most alpha shit. That's when I was like, yo, this guy's Rogan. You're on Rogan. You're like, yeah, yeah, sure. I just. And you were just, he just goes, you literally go, I don't need to feel your hand. He was so insistent on it.

He's like, feel it. Like, if we were this close, he would have been like, feel my hands. Dude, I want to look into your hands. We should look into that. This is a problem. It's freezing. This is a very serious problem. Yeah.

Is it Crohn's? No, for real. Can you beat off? Can you jerk off or is it too cold? It's very weird, and I don't know what's going on. My right hand isn't freezing but my left is. I wonder why. I wonder why one of them is pretty hot.

Bro, I haven't jerked off. I've been sitting here the whole time. That we know, dude. You would have saw my dick. You were looking at the analytics earlier. I saw that. The analytics is that you're jerking off. That's why this is here. There's like, oh my god, that matters. There's a hole in the keypad when we take it. There's a dent at the bottom of this computer.

Look at that, bro. Dang. We got our thumbnail. There we go. Okay. Wow. Wow. You defended Chris Rock's honor, dude.

Yeah, we did. That was great. How long do you think I'm going to be in this? Until we decide you can get out. Yeah. Yeah, you're really a prisoner of this. You're like Jada in her own marriage. Jada or Will?

Jada wants out, can't get out. That's you. That's facts. What did you guys think of what happened? Thank you, Squire. I mean, dude. First off, the costume. I mean, it's fire, right?

Is this just in case Will tries to attack you? Yeah, this is what comedians are going to have to wear now. Oh, really? Yeah, we're going to have the dress prepared for violence, dude. Yeah, this is what it's like now comedians are under attack, dude Everyone wants to talk about Ukraine comedians are the real ones with the real man. We're the Ukrainians of America You're not the Kings layer, but you're like the Kingslayer. We're the Ukrainian Super Mario. You're not the Kingslayer, but you're like the Prince Slayer, I think. I'm the Prince Slayer. Yeah, 100%. Which Prince?

Yeah, the fresh. The fresh one. Definitely. Okay, guys, what were your thoughts on what happened with Will and Rock? I mean, that was unreal. It's hard to have to say. We can't move on? You want to hear something funny?

I saw a tweet that said it wasn't even Rock's joke. It was one of the writers. That's so good. What do you think he's doing backstage? After? The writer just like, ugh. Here's the thing. The writer probably thought of way worse jokes about Infidelity

and was like, let's go with something mild. Dude, she's wearing a military green outfit. Brush. And is she going to be in G.I. Jane? No. No. They're not making another G.I. Jane? No.

She's not doing this for a role what what do you mean what do you mean oh no she's doing it because she has alopecia she's losing her hair yeah which is apparently a huge deal i had no idea every person at the oscars has fake hair every person in this room is losing their hair yeah yeah shots of keeps but no for real like if there's one place where you can wear like wigs has fake hair. Every person in this room is losing their hair. Yeah. Shouts to Keeves. But no, for real, if there's one place where you can wear wigs and fake hair

and all that kind of stuff, it's the out... Every girl there probably has extensions. Yeah, but you want to be proud. You want to come out and say, yo, this is my hair.

Well, then keep it a buck. Be proud. Do you know what I'm saying? If this is a big deal for black women to not wear their own hair, why have my women been cutting off their own shit

and sending it this way for fucking decades now? Talk that shit. Let's that shit let's start you can't get a nice weave you know we start a race a crusade a crusade i'm ready for a crusade right now you look like it yeah y'all will get there first but by the time i get there i think that was the strategy they're like if we just make them walk there from england in these outfits the muslims will just be dead there's no way that we're just waiting for them. Son, you're looking for a crusade. I thought you were looking for the yellow brick road over there.

It took a while. The joke was great. The joke was great. The joke was exceptional. But it did take you a while to get there. But that was fucking good. Bro, Tin Man, bro. Now I feel bad

for him they said no one's ever rented this out before say again they said no one's ever rented this i was like i want to rent that they're like wait actually mark we didn't rent this outfit oh that's right this is handed forged yeah forged yeah it was my family my scottish ancestors when we were fucking up the english in their butts you know what i mean we were cucking out the english dude when we're will sm-ing the English, dude. If there's anything you want to say to Andrew, now is the time, because you can't do nothing about it. I can't do shit.

You can say whatever you want to me, okay? But if there's any time to use your Scottish accent... Now is also the time. I definitely want some freedom from this outfit. That's for damn sure. Now, question, guys. Jada Pinkett Smith's hair condition, you think that's actually alopecia

or it's all like the R&B singer's just rubbing her head? Oh, my God. Stop. What? That's crazy. They said that her head is like the new log from the Apollo. Gross. Like...

What? What, you thought I was going to give all the gross jokes in the intro? Come on. So we got to have a couple leftovers for the conversation. Oh my God. You wrote that, you can have a career. Oh my God. Shit.

What? That's crazy. That's wild, right? You gotta keep this on forever. Will got a swing on me. Yeah, Will. I swing back. Will.

You gotta challenge him to a joust. Yo. That's fire. Yeah, dude. Will he just put Jada like that? Will Tacoma Oscar. And I'll use Vala? Yeah.

Perfect. Sorry, Vala. Show the head. Let's go. We got some growth. Yeah, right? Vala making a comeback. Watch out, Miles. Okay. What are you guys' thoughts? we got some growth yeah right i'm making a comeback watch out miles

um okay what were you guys thoughts like immediate reaction was crazy on the internet initially our car said it was fake you dropped it i thought it was fake i don't anymore but initially i was like there's no way that's real okay and then i was watching with thushar and my wife and they're like no chris's energy shifts way too hard there's a moment i don't know if y'all notice when ch Chris is about to clap back. Not like fight him, but he goes, keep your wife's, Will goes, keep your wife's name out of,

no, keep my wife's name out of your mouth. And Chris goes, he was about to unload. He needed to. He did. He needed to. And we would have been completely fine if he went crazy, bleep him out, whatever yeah you got slapped on tv yeah 100 like not on tv the tv yo literally for losers

the super bowl the theater nerd super virgin super bowl the virgin super bowl he got slapped yeah and it's so fucking crazy because the initial reaction was like, yo, Chris is pussy, blah, blah, blah. I don't think Chris is pussy for not hitting will back. I think he's pussy because he was worried about his career. I thought he was worried about his career, but I also think like if he acts crazy, if he acts professional in that moment, all the execs and everything are, Oh my God,

thank you so much for doing that. And you acted like a man. Will you, I don't know if we can trust this person he's got issues mental health it's that the other and then chris is the ultimate professional you know what i'm saying yeah but it didn't work out like that what do you mean we're not looking at him like that the people are like not us i'm saying the decision makers in hollywood like he didn't hit him back so he can be in zootopia 4 right he's like, I need to be doing voiceover work. I need to do all that shit. Which is sad.

That's the sad thing. That's the soft thing. That's his career. Son, Antonio Brown is not beholden to no one. Antonio Brown That's a horrible example. No, no, no. Think about it. Most athletes in that situation go

oh, I gotta make sure that i keep my composure and i don't you know say curse out the the coach i don't do any of that kind of shit antonio brown said fuck it took off the jersey i do whatever i want i'm not beholden to the nfl now i'm not saying you should be antonio brown but he's free that motherfucker is free to act however he wants and he doesn't do what the nfl wants he doesn't do what the coach wants you know with buccaneers once he does what't do what the coach wants he doesn't do what the Buccaneers wants he does what Antonio Brown fucking wants Floyd Mayweather

he don't have no sponsors he doesn't have to worry about people pulling out whatever I'm going to sell my next fight on my own make a hundred million dollars and that could tell me shit better tell him shit because Chris Rock can't do movies but he can do stand up yes literally his new tour is called Ego Death

Antonio Brown. Getting slapped at the Oscars and not doing nothing? You can't have an ego about that, bro. And he can't even come back and make jokes about Will. Yes, he can.

Yes, he can. There's two types of black people. There's black people and then there's Will Smith. Every time black people want to have a good time will smith come and fuck it up that's good yo will smith always wants some credit for some shit he's supposed to do i protect my family you supposed to you dumb motherfucker be my fourth fifth man, mine. I hate Will Smith. The media.

You think when I'm at the Oscars, I'm looking at the audience for the media? No, I'm looking for Will Smith. That's going to be so fired. Okay, fine. But let's like, yeah. That's all you got to talk about. His career is his life.

Right? Like you live and you make movies and that's your job. Yeah. And that's also your life. And so it's like, yeah, his career is his life, right? Like, like you live and you make movies and that's your job. Yeah. And that's also your life. And so it's like, yeah, he just defended his life by not swinging back. Yeah. But his life. That's the gayest shit, man.

Come on. He's in movies. He makes money by being in movies. I know you're trying to disagree with us. So you have to have a take. But that's dumb. I'm being genuine. I'm going to bail him out.

I'm going to bail him out. Okay. Bail him out. Bail him out. Will ran. Huh? Will ran. Will ran. Will ran. He did kind of. Slapped him,. Okay, bail him out. Will ran. Will ran. Will ran. Slapped him, turned around quick and started moving.

I don't know if it's a run. I mean, it's pussy of Will to slap him though. That's the most disrespectful. He's 140 pounds soaking wet. That's the most disrespectful. I'd rather get punched than get slapped. What do you think weighs more?

Chris Rock or the hair in the shower drain at Jada Smith's house? Most dishes back. Yo, I'm sure a lot of- I'd rather get punched than get slapped. What do you think weighs more? Oh my- Chris Rock or the hair in the shower drain that Jada Smith's outfit? What do you think, Chris? No? I'll try so hard. I'll try so hard not to. Yo, did they think they wasn't going to get these jokes?

That's crazy. Like, are you- Like, come the fuck on, bro. You think you could do that and not get more jokes? You think we're going to, from the comfort of our own home, not talk more shit about Jada? I'll be honest with you, and I resonate a little bit with Chris, because I've been punched on stage.

Yes, yes. I have been punched on stage. What happened? Can you tell the story? I was doing a show, my first show in Harlem. Yeah. South Samoka Lounge. South Samoka Lounge in Smoky.

And I went up, and I was making fun of some Puerto Rican guy and I wasn't funny. It wasn't even that good, but I was making fun of his ass. He walked up to me and there's no stage. You're just performing right in front of the bar, basically. He just walked up and I was like, what's up? He just swung on me. Now, luckily, they grabbed him before I could do nothing. Yeah.

Chris Rock didn't have that luxury. Luckily for him? No, no. before I could do nothing luckily they grabbed him before everybody could see I wasn't going to do nothing let me word that correctly but I said that the first time so I get to look like I would have fucked him up and I remember they just gave me the mic

and they were like alright keep going and it was like a legendary story for me because it's like how do you react to that like i know everything he felt yeah in that moment except it wasn't by will smith on the most famous stage possible for that but in the moment going like what the fuck is going on but luckily they all grabbed him and threw him out so i didn't look as pussy as i was about to be. Did you have a sturdy chin? Oh, he didn't drop me or nothing, bro. Oh, so you had a sturdy chin.

Chris had a sturdy chin, bro. He leaned in, he looked like the shark in Shark's Tale. Do you see the picture of him leaned in, cheesed up? That's Will Smith. I think he thought Will was joking. He's the guy. I think he thought Will was joking. I think he was like, oh, no, here we go.

Let's do a little bit. Then he legit slapped him and he just says it like, yo, this guy just slapped me on national TV. Yeah, I mean, he's just shocked. I'm just saying, in that moment, you're not in fight or flight mode. No. You're in, like, complete shock mode. Yeah.

And so I'm not, like, I'm not angry at him for not doing anything back. Obviously, you'd want to see him at least tackle him or do some shit. But it is so unbelievable. All of us watching are like i can't believe this imagine being there yeah yeah so i i definitely empathize with him for that but like you gotta address that shit fam you gotta start going right you gotta say something like i'm gonna see you after something like that i'll see you backstage yeah boom and even if you don't leave immediately we'll handle this backstage yeah hey will some of us have a little bit more professionalism some of us have a little bit more decorum the show must go on i need to be in zootopia six okay but i'll see you backstage yeah that's my point yeah like i don't think you fight

because it's like if you fight you're fucking up your whole bag your whole life for what your honor like no you can fight you're ego bro you're in honor ain't nothing wrong with he got paid 70 fucking million for doing a bunch of movies madagascar and shit like who chris rock like he's getting paid dozens of millions of dollars to be in these animated movies like if he fights dozens of millions doesn't sound that impressive they're not gonna put him in movies down if he like scraps and gets on the ground if you get slapped you get you're allowed to defend yourself they might look but here's the problem he can't do nothing that somebody said i think mike albine said this i would love to see if the rock said something instead of chris rock then is it keep my wife's name out of your mouth i'm gonna give

you one what if it was what if it was jimmy kimmel what if it was a white dude what if it was ricky rick your base uh will sm Smith ain't hitting him, yo. Yeah, that's interesting. Probably right. Will Smith, what do you think, Al? I don't think he's hitting him. I don't know. I think Will was fed up. I think the next, like...

This is the thing. I think Will... It could have been anybody. I think Will was fed up, and then he took it out on somebody he knew he could get away with taking it out on. Which is why it's so pussy to me. He's known him for like 25 years. But he's also made jokes.

I want to make a point about that. He did make jokes in the past. I want to make a point about that. He did make jokes in the past. I want to make another point. Nobody in that room was rooting for Chris Rock. What do you mean? Keep this in mind. All the people in that crowd have been made fun of by Chris Rock for the last decade. These are people who live in their own little Hollywood bubbles.

Nobody ever gives them pushback. Nobody ever teases them. Nobody ever says nothing to these people. They don't have a sense of humor. You go see these shows and they're like groaning about all these jokes and then applauding when the joke is virtuous right yeah they see every they have to go to these events because they want the public uh applause yeah they want the public validation but they know that they're gonna get caught in the crosshairs from a chris rock joke and it drives them crazy and they were happy did you

see the way samuel jackson dapped up will smith did you see the way that Jackson dapped up Will Smith did you see the way that Denzel and Bradley Cooper Denzel a loser no no no chill chill chill I gotta give credit I'm about to come over there and smack you right now keep his name

out your mouth I will but I guess what I'm trying to say is like they were on the side Keep his name out your mouth. I will. But I guess what I'm trying to say is they were on the side of Will. A lot of the people there are humorless. It's not like we have actual comedians in the audience. They can't go back and forth with Chris Rock. So they were loving the fact that Will got up and slapped the bully.

Yeah. I think they were rooting for it. But again, Will Smith was the bully. Yes. If you get bullied and then you pick on another kid that won't do anything to you, you're not a bully. Yes. And Will Smith is choosing to stay with the woman that's causing all the bullying. Whether that's his choice, fine.

But if that's the bed you made, you lie in it. I'm honest. I'm being serious with you. And this is not my idea. So I can't give credit, but I won't give credit to this person because I don't want him to get in trouble but a friend of mine was like

I sincerely believe that Jada is a witch like with spells and shit is this 1300s are you talking about the Schultz in the 1300s hold on

hold on I'm being serious I spent the weekend up in wherever we hung those witches what is it called Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem Salem I spent the weekend up in wherever we hung those witches. What is it called?

Salem. Salem. Salem. Salem. No, I spent the weekend up in Salem. No, no. I was talking to somebody, and they were like, no, I think she's like a literal witch. Like, I think she has him mind controlled. He laughed at the beginning.

At the beginning. That's what fucked him. Yeah. Can we discuss that? Okay. The joke happens. It's a very easy joke. Everybody who's watching now has already heard it. Not a mean joke, by the way.

Not even that mean. He laughs, though, and then she gets a little upset. She rolls her eyes. She rolls her eyes. I think he went up there because he had to make up for the fact that he laughed. That's right. You lie a lot about being Mexican.

You're a big time liar about being Mexican. Can you cut that shit out a little bit? Why do you think it's a lie? Do you speak Spanish? Claro que sí. No, hablas español, wey. ¿Hablas español? Claro.

Go ahead. Yo, yo, yo, he was struggling. Yo creo que no hablas español. ¿A dónde aprendes español? You don't speak Spanish, Louie. Shut that fucking shit up already. ¿Un poco? ¿Así, así? Viví en España.

Viví un año en España. Y también trabajé en muchos restaurantes. Y ahí aprendí español. Entonces, ¿estás español? No. Claro que sí. No, no, no. Eres español. No lo estás. Yeah, okay. So, you're Spanish? No. Of course. No, no, no. You're Spanish, not you.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's grammar. That's what makes a person a person. Don't be defensive. Don't be defensive. Yeah, you're really eat-villaging this right now. I know, you really are. I own it.

I'm defensive about it. But you don't even know anything about why I'm Mexican. I mean, why do you think... Do you really think I don't know why you're Mexican? I don't know anything'm defensive about it. But you don't even know anything about why I'm Mexican. I mean, why do you think... Do you really think I don't know why you're Mexican? I don't know anything about what you know. I hope this ends in a fist fight. Yeah, right? Way more.

You guys just kicked the shit out of each other. I do my research. Yeah. I know about these things. Research is me-search. Oh. What? Now...

That's a saying. What? Talk about it. That's a saying. When you're doing research, you're searching yourself. Yeah. It's like when you're writing, you're always writing about yourself That's a saying When you're doing research You're searching yourself Yeah It's like when you're writing

You're always writing about yourself Even if you think You're not writing about yourself I'm a smart motherfucker too I'm French I want to be French I'll make out with a man Right now

Mark is giving the opportunity Invite him upstairs Come on. We've got some spiral stairs. Yeah, we do. Did you feel when you walked up those stairs? They weren't spiral, but I liked the image better. It's a half a spiral.

Don't tell people what's on the back end. I didn't go back there. I don't know anything. I believe in that. I trust that. If you tell me that's a spiral staircase. Yeah. You want to go for a walk up the staircase?

No, but it's there. Can I try again? Hey. Hey. where are you going if that guy had done that it would have been like so you guys don't know how to act you don't know how to pick up a teenage boy damn bro okay okay you don't act sexy with a teenage boy. You act cool. Hey, what's up?

Come on. Is that cool? I mean, it almost worked on me. That's why I know it. Right, right, right, right. Cool's changed, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, it's all good.

We all get old, bro. Okay, so. Am I the oldest person here? I think so, right? What do you mean? Do you really have to ask that question? What do you think? What do you fucking think?

Break out the font on your iPhone again. Also, when you talked about the bald fat guys crying at Top Gun, I was like, was Louis crying at Top Gun? I cried at Top Gun Maverick. I did. The reality is,

this chapter of flagrant is done. Okay? And as we've done The reality is, is this chapter of flagrant is done. Okay. Um, and as we've done in every single place that we've been, and as we've done in every single moment of our career, we have to burn the boats because the only way you survive is if you tear it all down, you absolutely destroy it. It forces you to survive. It forces you to thrive. It forces you to change the motherfucking game that is all we know

and it's all we will do so without further ado i think it's time to burn the boat the only way out is through the only way out is through yeah the only process is through destruction the only progress is through destruction the only progress is through destruction and around both of those never around never under never over just through yeah so that's what we're gonna do one last moment of flagrancy are you guys ready i'll take that as a yes I'll take that as a yes. Asshole Army, we love you.

We'll see you on the other side. Alright, here we go. Here we go, baby. He gave it again. Nice. There you go. Let's fucking go. You got that shit, bro. Hey, you got that shit.

Here we go. Hey, hey, bro. I got you. Who else wants some? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. There you go. Alright, let's go. You gotta make a strategy, man. Give me the fucking thing.

These are fucking... Yo, you're a cake. Eat that. Get the other side. Yeah. Sonic Fella's the GOAT. Good? I'm ready. Let's go. All right. Second one. I'm sorry. That's it.