Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - How Epstein Broke Up Bill and Melinda Gates?
Episode Date: May 11, 2021This week the Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia, Marky Gagnon and Dov sit down to have some gentlemanly conversations about: Elon Musk on SNL; Lebron James; How to lose money on Dogecoin; Dave Chappelle's co...mments about Andrew on Rogan; Bill Gates, Jeffrey Epstein, Bezos and their families and MUCH MUCH MORE. INDULGE
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Chappelle's on Rogan and he's hating on you bro. SNL killed it. My girl need to start messaging me before she buys shit. That's a furniture store.
Bill Gates produced some nice little pussy. What's up everybody? Welcome to Flagrant 2. It's your boy Schultz here. I'm here with Akash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, and The Truffle.
And hot take. Ready? Hot take.
Hot take.
Hot take.
Ready?
Yep.
SNL killed it.
Really?
Hot take right now.
Wow.
SNL killed it. I have a theory.
I want to know what you guys think about it.
You're talking about Dogecoin, right?
No, no.
Death of Dogecoin no death of dogecoin
caused by snl um no no no snl so bad it made people lose faith in you this guy can't fail
anything oh okay my tesla stock is down oh is it really i don't know i'm just assuming all i'm saying
is this this is my theory about snl one you got to give it up for the gravity that
they created this was the purpose of this show i mean i guess the purpose of the show is for
sketch comedy but like the purpose of the show was like yo the entire world can watch as this
person that we all care about goes and tries to be funny and will take certain you know certain
hot takes about the world etc yeah and ideally everybody's supposed to go there and watch they're
supposed to get these hosts
that are going to compel people to watch.
And they did that this time. I've never
in my life before this,
maybe for Eddie Murphy,
and I don't even know if I watched any of the sketches with
Eddie Murphy, I maybe looked at
the opening monologue
or something like that, because I was like, is he going to do some stand-up?
What's it going to be? But outside it, I cared.
I got off stage. I was like, okay, do some stand-up what's gonna be but outside it i cared i got off stage i was like okay let's see was he funny let me see a sketch like how was
it i was looking for people's reactions and i watched a couple of sketches um and i thought
they were pretty funny i watched the chad one where like he saves mars with pete davidson i
thought it was funny i saw gen z hospital did you guys see that gen z hospital was good it was just
long yeah but the idea was kind of funny it was just you I saw Gen Z Hospital. Did you guys see that one? Gen Z Hospital was good. It was just long. Yeah. But the idea was kind of funny.
It was just old people using young people slang.
I get it.
But there were some moments that were funny.
And I realized what they did.
And I don't know if they did this on purpose or not.
But what they should continue to do is the best people to host SNL are unfunny people.
When you put a funny person as the host of SNL, the expectation goes
through the roof. You're funny. You're going to make me laugh today. I can't wait till I'm going
to die laughing. And then they go host SNL, which is not really that funny. And they let you down.
When you take someone who's basically a robot, like Elon, right? Yeah.
He has a sense of humor.
Clearly, you see him on Twitter.
You see him posting kind of the memes and playing into meme culture and also trolling
other billionaires.
It is fun.
But not known as one of the most hilarious people on the planet.
At all.
And not trying to be.
No.
And then you put him in a position where you're like, well, let's see if this guy's going
to be funny.
Expectations are the key to happiness. The expectations are super low. like, well, let's see if this guy's going to be funny. Expectations are the key to happiness.
The expectations are super low.
They're like, there's no way this guy could be funny.
And then he makes you laugh once.
You're like, oh, shit, here we go.
Yeah.
It's kind of more interesting as a comedic experiment.
Yeah.
Get Bezos.
Get famous people that we do not expect to be funny and have them host the show and see if your writers are good enough to make them funny.
It's like a chef making a turnip delicious. Yeah. You know what I mean? Take the things that aren't funny and have them host the show and see if your writers are good enough to make them funny it's like a chef making a turnip delicious yeah you know take the things that
aren't funny and make them funny what do we do fundamentally yeah we take the topics that aren't
funny right try to find the humor and we try to find the humor and humor i think that they did i
saw a few of the sketches i didn't see the whole thing yeah but i saw and it was funny he was kind
of charming oh he was i thought even in that sketch, I was very impressed.
Because like you said, the bar was low for Elon.
Yes.
Now, I don't know that the bar was necessarily lowered for the show because they complained about Elon.
So if I'm going to shit on Elon, I better bring the fucking ruckus when it's my turn.
Yeah.
And this, we had a different take because I never wished SNL was canceled more in my life than I did watching the tweets around the show. That's when I was reminded how annoying everything about this show
has become. Where even that Gen Z hospital sketch, they managed to offend people because people were
saying this isn't Gen Z slang. This is just African-American vernacular English or whatever
the term is now. And they're calling that Gen z and that's not wrong all kind of annoying but
then what really got me is elon musk said i'm the first person with asperger's to host snl
a bunch of people who you normally think would support such a thing were like you're not first
dan akroyd was first elon musk is only good for blah blah blah and it's like you guys
are the fucking worst yeah i want snl canceled i don't want to deal with it anymore yeah i don't
want to hear the fucking castmates complaining about the only good thing that's happened to the show in decades.
I don't want to hear the audiences complaining that somebody isn't the first retard on the show.
Like, I'm good with all of it.
I'm good on all of it, bro.
Just go away.
Which vaccine do I have to take to make sure my kid has Asperger's?
If Johnson & Johnson came back, they're like, yo, your kid is guaranteed to have Asperger's if you take this.
I'm plugging it up.
That's a selfless parent.
Son, Asperger's is the key to success.
At what point in time is it an advantage?
Every person we know at Asperger's is successful.
You're an X-Man.
You're a motherfucking X-Man.
And at least X-Men, well, actually, they did kind of get into the victimhood shit.
Like, oh, they're after us.
They fly away, motherfucker.
Disappear.
Do what you do.
You got superpowers.
Why are you acting like an old bitch? Professor X is kind of a cuck real he was a cuck kind of a
cuck dude was a cuck he could move every object except his legs motherfucker could move everything
but his fucking legs dude that's the most paralyzed the dude can literally get you to
walk away from him if he wanted to look the other way so he could sneak into some shit he just like
playing the victim he did like his legs he was shit. I bet he just liked playing the victim. I bet he could move his legs.
He was so addicted to victimhood
he made himself a paraplegic.
Yup.
Oh my God, bruh.
Cuck!
Cuck, cuck.
Yeah, useless leg liberal cuck.
You know?
Come on, Twizzler legs.
Twizzler legs.
This fucking guy.
Professor X.
This is unbelievable.
So yeah, this is an advantage we got to stop acting like people
with ass burgers chris rock has ass burgers bill gates got ass burgers mark zuckerberg got ass
burger name a billionaire that don't have fucking ass burgers steve jobs guaranteed at 100 he was
an ass burger dog burger apparently isaac newton at as Isaac Newton. How do they know that? I don't know. There's no way.
This shit didn't even exist back then.
He did because he's successful and smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
At what point in time do we just admit it?
Smart Jews have Asperger's.
At what point in time do we just come out and say it?
That's their superpower.
How do I get Asperger's now, bro?
Son, it's the best.
You ignore your wife all day, just go to work and be like, what?
I have Asperger's.
I can't help it. I'm sorry. You don't have any emotional reaction i don't you're right that is life this
is what it is it's unbelievable and my only problem is my only problem with it is we're
not going to feel bad for them for their advantage in life okay yeah i'm not going to feel bad that
lebron is the most amazing athlete in history yeah you're not going to act like a victim because of
it you know i'm sorry i'm'm 6'9". My fast twitch
fibers are amazing. I can
jump out the gym. I have unbelievable
hand-eye coordination. I'm one of the greatest passers
ever. I'm not going to feel bad for you because of that.
So we got to start taking Asperger's and
looking at it as a huge advantage.
You're LeBrain James.
You're LeBrain James.
I see what you just did right there.
I did that.
Because you're exceptional at what you do and a victim.
Hey.
Yeah.
That was good.
And I wish you would get off Twitter.
Fact.
So, yeah.
So, Asperger's is lit.
How do you know you don't have Asperger's?
I hope I do.
He a little Asperger.
You think I'm Asperger?
All right.
Give me an Asperger test.
Okay.
Let me look it up. Give me one. Give me an asberger test okay uh let me look at it on
ace give me one give me an asberger test give me look at the burger test this is fire dog yeah i'm
fucking nervous right now because if i don't have asburgers oh man that's gonna be such a letdown
dude i had to do all this with hard work i know yo that should be the mensa test it's just an
asburger test son how many mensas you think think got Asperger's? Oh, all of them. That's the Asperger coalition. That's all it is, is a gang of fucking burgers out here.
GB.
You know what I mean?
GB out here.
Solving math problems, nerds.
All right, so we got a couple basic Asperger questions.
Okay, give me an Asperger question.
Go.
Do you pursue friendships, but is it socially awkward and you don't know what to do to maintain
the interaction?
Rarely, sometimes, never very often.
No.
That's everybody.
No, I don't.
Who doesn't pursue friendships? You don't want friendships? Who don't want friendships? And sometimes it's awkward no that's everybody no i don't who doesn't pursue friendships
and sometimes who don't want friendship and sometimes it's awkward that's everybody
oh i was saying that doesn't happen to me you never feel awkward
with my friends no pursuing friendships like trying to make new friendships who makes new
friends i'm 37 years old this shit just happens that's one new friend that's one burger that's
when you get older you ain't got a whole ass burgers anthem no new friends no new friends. That's one burger. That's one burger. Friends, when you get older, it's like... You ain't got a whole Ashton Burgers anthem. No new friends.
No new friends.
But no, that is a stupid one because maybe when I was younger, that was the case.
But as an adult, I'm not looking for new friends.
They just kind of exist.
It's like a mold.
Do you know what I mean?
A black mold.
If you just left out long enough, then you get some molds.
That's what friends are when you're older.
But go on.
All right.
So that's one burger for you i think
yeah wait do i have a burger or no you have one burger i think i thought i answered it wrong you
said you don't make any friends that's that's at 37 who's making that question let's go next
question say what you grew into your burger i grew into my burger yes i'm just going with it
i'm just going with it let's go does your child have difficulty during okay not your child this is for kids okay uh do you have difficulty during social interactions like
monopolizing conversations you don't pick up on social cues bossy etc i don't know what you're
talking about i don't know what you're talking about like that listen you might think i got
burgers i got impossible meat over here because that could not be further.
I can't believe it's not burgers.
Real talk.
Now, that might be me.
I got one burger right there.
Nah, he beyond burgers, bro.
What's beyond burgers?
Just give me the prime rib, dog.
You want full steak?
Ain't no mincemeat over here.
I'm the filet mignon of this shit.
All right.
The filet autism, dude.
Okay, keep going.
Keep going.
No, no.
That's another thing.
Separate it from autism.
Bro, it's on the spec.
No, no.
That is wrong.
No.
It's like Splenda for autism.
No, no, no, no.
He might be autistic.
Remove autism entirely from it.
Splenda for autism.
Yeah.
I understand.
That's how they try to sell it to us, because they want to be retarded a little bit so you
can't make fun of them
Like that motherfucker went on
Right before we were about to make fun of him
For being on SNL
He was like yo I'm retarded
And we're like nah I can't make fun of this retarded motherfucker
You can't be retarded and you're the richest person in the world
What the fuck that makes me
If you're retarded
What am I
Son I am
What is the retarded of retarded
What do you call the retarded of retarded? That's bullying.
What do you call the retarded kids that you're like, man, this motherfucker don't even like
ice cream, bro.
Like how retarded is he?
I think it's a double negative.
I think it flips back.
Two retards make a.
Elon Musk.
An Elon Musk.
Okay.
That's possible.
All I'm trying to say is let's remove Asperger's from that spectrum.
It's autism.
Now we take Asperger's.
We put it over here. That's not the same thing. What is Asperger's on? Is it like a different spectrum? It's his own thing. It's autism. Now we take Asperger's, we put it over here.
That's not the same thing.
What is Asperger's on?
Is it like a different spectrum?
It's its own thing.
It's a superpower.
It's a sexuality?
It's a superpower.
Sexuality as well.
The whole thing.
So it's like height.
Keep on going.
Okay.
Do you exhibit repetitive or robotic speech?
Yeah, all the time.
Okay.
So that's two burgers.
Do you struggle?
Repetitive or what is it?
Robotic speech?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you just repeated it. I can't kind of proves it right there yeah i definitely have autism no this is not
autism this is asperger's autism is whack uh do you struggle to understand non-verbal communication
despite having good verbal skills no okay that's true he's right do you engage in awkward mannerisms
or repetitive movements such as hand flapping or toe walking, for example.
No, but that annoys the fucking shit out of me.
So you're a self-loathing burger.
The toe walking drives me crazy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I didn't know that those people were actually retarded.
I thought that they were making a choice to walk on their toes like that.
And it would drive me crazy.
And I remember in high school, I would put my hands on their shoulders and I would hold them down when they were walking.
I would hold them down when they were walking I would hold them down when they would walk.
It's infuriating.
Why is it so infuriating?
That's Elon Musk, though.
They're bouncing around
for no reason.
Unnecessarily bouncing.
Gravity affects them less.
They want to go to space.
Why do you think
Elon's building a rocket, bro?
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
There you go.
I mean, it's not really
a good point,
but it was a good joke.
That's a good joke
to be made in that moment.
All right.
Do you obsess over topics, interests, or fears? Yes. moment. All right. Do you obsess over topics, interests,
or fears? Yes. Yeah.
All right. Do you have difficulty... What kind of question is that? Who doesn't
obsess over topics, interests, or fears?
Regular people, bro. Fuck, man.
I just want to be regs, dude. Do you have difficulty
maintaining eye contact? No. No.
Do you have difficulty maintaining a back
and forth on topic conversation? Sometimes I do have difficulty
making eye contact. Like, with Ben
Uyeda this weekend with his body, bro.
Ben Uyeda was
with us in Phoenix this weekend and he was taking
his shirt off and going to the pool. Oh, shit.
Trick or treat, bro.
Treat.
A high-calorie treat.
In the pool coming out?
Oh, bro. It was bad. That motherfucker
was just sitting on top of the pool and then Mark
and Miles were
looking at him, and they just plunked their body inside the water because they just could
not be seen.
Yeah, I ducked down.
That motherfucker.
Yeah, I ducked down.
Duck, duck, goose.
Yeah, he's a little fortune cookie, that guy.
All right.
Do you have-
That was racist.
Why is that racist?
That was racist.
Why is that racist?
That was racist.
Why is that racist?
I just said he's like a little internment camp, that guy.
That's a little snack.
That's a different Asian, bro.
That's a snack.
Get your Asians right. It's not any Asian, bro. It's an American snack. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's snack. That's a different Asian, bro. That's a snack. Get your Asians right.
It's not any Asian, bro.
It's an American snack.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
Is it?
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
Is that repetitive speech?
Is that repetitive speech?
Did I do repetitive speech?
You're making me a burger.
Am I ass burger?
Did I get you burger?
You're making me the hamburger right now.
Yo, you're welcome, man.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Let's go.
Do you have difficulty maintaining a back and forth?
Our ass burger.
It's so funny. This is very Tommy's ass is good. This is go. Do you have difficulty maintaining a backup score? Are Asperger's... It's so funny.
This is so funny.
Tommy's ass is going...
This is good.
So Asperger's...
What?
I don't think yes.
What?
There's one more question to find out if you're fully burnt down.
And what is that?
You just can't finish the test?
Have you been able to finish this test?
Listen, Asperger's...
Your boy is Asperger, dog.
No, Asperger's are the juice, and then hamburgers are not juice.
Hamburger.
That's so good. You're an Asperger. You're already so happy. and then hamburgers are not just. Hamburger. I'm a hamburger.
You're a hamburger.
I'm already so happy.
Okay.
All right.
Do you repeat lines from shows and movies
in repetitive fashion?
No.
I feel like you do.
I don't.
Who does that?
Bro, you say movie lines all the time.
You don't watch movies.
You wouldn't know what the lines were.
Yeah, that's the thing. You say you would never know what the lines were. You quote Step Brothers all the time. Remember that't watch movies. You wouldn't know what the lines were. Yeah, that's the thing.
You would never know what the lines were.
You quote Step Brothers all the time.
Remember that?
Oh, don't do that to me.
You do.
Don't do that.
I'm not one of those.
What movie is that from?
Don't do that to me?
Yeah.
Me, myself, and Irene.
Is that from me, myself, and Irene?
Don't do that to me.
Remember when Irene was like, don't do that to me?
Remember that? Irene was like, don't do that to me remember when irene was like don't do that to me i was like don't do that to me and then me myself was like smoking smoking smoking i'm smoking you know man carry the goat isn't that jim carrey yeah
fucking goat all right go all right so we have your score here all right what i get
out do you want to read the results?
No, you got it.
Moderate indication of Asperger's syndrome.
That's exactly what he said.
Let's go!
That's exactly what he said.
Oh, congrats, dude.
God damn, I can't even be good at Asperger's, bro.
What the fuck?
Nah, you're a moderate Berg, bro.
I got moderate in burger?
Yeah.
Damn.
All right, that's lit.
You're a little Junior Bacon Cheese.
Yeah, Junior.
I'm a little Junior Bacon Cheese.
Junior Whopper. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. i'm so excited you know you're doing it am i allowed to feel things yeah yeah
i'm really excited i'm like i have a high emotional i have a high emotional reaction
that's how al reacts to stuff
the only thing separating you from full burger is al's laugh. If you had Al's laugh, you'd full burger.
Oh, that laugh is burger.
If you were white with that laugh, that's a burger laugh.
That's for sure burger.
You do have a longer leash as a black person with your weird laugh,
but a white person that would just go,
Duh-huh!
Dude, that's not even burger.
That's full re-re.
I didn't want to say it.
But it is, right?
You're the burger king with that one, brother. That laugh could support the farmers that re-re. I didn't want to say it. But it is, right? You're the Burger King with that one, bro.
That laugh could support the farmers that re-react that.
All right, man.
So what are you guys' thoughts on the SNL?
Yeah, what did you think?
In general, first of all, did you guys watch any sketches before you reacted?
I watched the Gen Z sketch, and I watched the monologue.
Okay.
And?
I thought the Gen Z sketch was like,
conceptually funny,
didn't really go anywhere. It was just them
playing. That's how I felt about the
Californians. Whenever I watched the Californians,
it felt the exact same as that, where it's
like, I guess you guys are laughing, but I don't
It's the same joke over and over again, but like,
if it was just quick, you just make that 30 seconds.
I give a ton of leeway to SNL
in general, just because it's so hard to make an hour or however long the show is, an hour and a half.
An hour and a half of comedy every week.
That's an impossible task in general.
I don't give them that leeway because they choose to do it.
Just make it half hour and make it hot and then everything will be fine.
That's true.
You said you enjoyed it, right?
On a 1 to 10 scale.
Just what I saw. I just saw three sketches and then his part of the weekend update.
Okay.
That's the majority of the show.
No, I thought it was an hour and a half.
I watched probably seven minutes.
There's commercials.
You get about maybe seven sketches, two music performances.
That's about the show.
Wow.
Okay.
I did watch part of the weekend
update yeah and and i was charmed by him i thought it was cool to see somebody who is so composed
brilliant and successful be vulnerable and it's like a really humble thing to do is to go out
there know you're gonna look stupid and he was gonna look stupid in certain points in time and I really respected that I
just thought it was really fucking cool to be willing to be I don't know that
hmm egoless now is that intrinsic to like the entrepreneurial gene I mean
like this is a guy it's like put yourself in the situation of building
rockets explode on like land oh I'm like, I'm going to build rockets that explode on land.
I'm going to build a car company, even though every car company in history has been gone bankrupt. I thought it was just an Asperger thing where he's like, hey, even if I look stupid, we'll make money.
Kind of like we said last week.
Maybe you said it last week specifically.
But like, yeah, I'm going to look stupid, but we're going to make money and we're going to get publicity.
And it's going to benefit me in the long run.
Maybe.
So I'll look stupid and who cares?
Maybe.
Maybe.
But it felt like you were going somewhere with that.
Just my theory is that I think you would enjoy watching SNL on a regular basis.
Because for the sketches I've seen, that was an average episode of SNL.
Yeah.
So I think all the SNL hate, you got to take it back.
But clearly you haven't been listening for the last month.
No.
Clearly you don't pay attention.
What I've always said about SNL is I can't criticize it because I don't watch it.
You do criticize it.
No, I don't.
We actually shit on it.
We're like, why are comics still shitting on it?
Which I get why.
Literally, last time I was here.
It's become kind of a hack thing.
It's become a trope.
But I remembered why when I saw the tweets around it this weekend.
But it's like a lot of comics who are upset where they are in their career
and they just take it out on SNL
because they know they're not going to be on SNL
so it's a safe thing to criticize.
Gotcha.
But I say I cannot accurately say
if this show is good or not
because I don't watch a show.
What I do see of the show,
I'm often not impressed.
Also, you're Hippocrates, so it's lit.
But that's also another thing.
But that's what I've said always on the podcast. What have seen the show i'm often not impressed by but this was
impressive to me because i was charmed by elon and i thought the sketches are okay but i'm going
into it going with the lowest expectations i should go into this legacy television show with
the highest right like if i go watch if i go watch a chris rock special if i watch a
dave chappelle special if i watch a patrice o'neill special i'm going in going this is the greatest
these you got it's right here you got to beat this but with snl for whatever reason this is
the longest running comedy show on television in history and i go in going this is not going to
make me laugh that's a problem especially since i know people on the show who are really funny on stage.
Like really funny on stage and not that funny on the show.
So I'm just like.
Who's still a stand-up on that show?
Sam Jay.
He's a writer on the show.
Congrats to Sam Jay.
She got a new HBO show that looks fucking dope.
Sam is so fucking funny.
I mean, Michael Che is fucking funny as hell.
I assume Che is doing his own thing now.
He's got his show
I'm excited to see that
Yeah I'm watching
The first episode
Very creative
Well done
So like I know people
Who write on the show
Or are on the show
And on stage
Are fucking beasts
Yeah
And then that doesn't
Get displayed on TV
So I'm like
There's something
There's a mechanism
With the show
Also
Yes
There's a governor
Like you know in a car Like the car says It goes 220, but you push it and it only goes 160?
Yeah.
That's SNL.
It got a governor, and the governor's probably antiquated.
They're probably working off these FCC rules from 40 years ago, and it's like, we've moved
past it.
We can hear certain bad words.
We can have certain opinions that are a little bit crazy.
Now, here's a fun question.
If you took the whole cast, the whole production, the whole budget yeah and put it on youtube yeah do you think the show would be better
yes like without those governors fcc rules tv i think anything will be better without those
governors i do believe that sincerely i think anything will be better without limitation um
some people often say like limitation uh forces you to be more creative yeah you know but i don't
really believe that because i think that you like creativity is inspired by who you are as a person
so i don't think people are gonna go well since i'm free to do whatever i want i don't need to
be creative now yeah you're just gonna be that much more creative already have natural limitations
just by who you are you don't need more exactly so why would you govern your creativity in any way
just by who you are you don't need more exactly so why would you govern your creativity in any way and uh i mean i would love to see them do it i really would it'd be really cool to see just a
few of like the people from that show maybe when they're done just like do a version of it for
for youtube or version of for facebook or something like that like and then maybe i'm wrong maybe it
comes out the same and then maybe i'm wrong i just know people that are funny and i see them on stage
and i go it was the same thing
with Shane Gillis.
I saw Shane do stand-up.
I was like, nah, this motherfucker is funny, bro.
I don't care what you say.
This guy is funny.
And then when I saw the sketch show, I was like, oh, yep.
And to SNL's credit, I was like, I see why you wanted that guy, because it fits.
If he could do those things on SNL, they would fucking murder, bro.
Those exact sketches he's doing right now
would fucking destroy.
Obviously, certain words
he can't use.
Wouldn't he be able to?
Certain words he can't use,
but conceptually,
I think he could.
It would be a little goofier.
SNL's a little goofy.
It's like,
let's be silly and goofy.
It's got that improv
straight to it.
Improv is goofy.
It feels like an improv show.
To use your word
from earlier,
intrinsically or inherently
or whatever,
it's just corny.
Improv is just corny
in its nature.
I don't want to like, it's hard for me to, here, let me just, let me show you what keys.
Oh, oh yeah. It's my car keys. Oh, it's my car. A G-Wagon is no big deal.
Oh shit.
Just handed a Nazi sled to the Jews.
A Nazi sled.
Heil, heil, heil.
I'll take my Elon Tesla any day.
You're Rudolph the Big Nose Reindeer.
This show is going off the rails.
Like those trains never did.
Fun fact, you know how the G-Wagon came to be?
How?
I don't think this is going to be fun.
I'm going to be honest.
G stands for Gestapo, Dov.
There's irony here, okay?
I'm going out on a limb.
The Shah of Iran, before his ass was kicked out by Khomeini,
loved the military version of that car so much
that he pushed them to create a commercial,
or I guess a consumer version of it.
And the Persian Shah got them to make guess consumer version of it. And the Persian
Shah got them to make a consumer
version and now it's the car that all Persian
Jews drive in Beverly Hills. Did you see how much fun we were
having before you told your story?
Did you see how much fun that was? Unsubscribe.
Unsubscribe from Carfax.
I know I was bored because I started picking my
palm.
This looks like something fun to do. I started checking
the levels on this shit.
Good facts.
Come on, dude.
Felix, no facts.
That's a cool fact.
Guys, Felix,
no facts.
No facts.
Oh, that's how
that segment works?
Tell us how you feel
about Persians now.
Make up for it.
That hit.
Can't do it.
Can't do it.
Nah, do it.
Nah, he's got to go
back to LA eventually, dude.
You can't live in LA.
No, I can't do the Persians.
You can't. Oh, you just can't do it? No. Oh, why, why? Oh, no, this is good. Talk to us. What if it's got to go back to LA eventually, dude. You can't live in LA. No, I can't do the Persians. Love them.
Oh, you just can't do it?
No.
Oh, why, why?
Oh, no, this is good.
Talk to us.
What if it's post-nosy?
Now we're feelings.
Now I'm loving it.
Nah, Moroccans and the Persians, hot blood and hot blood?
No, no, no.
They just don't mix?
I don't need it.
Really?
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I'm trying to turn the temperature down in my life.
You don't need it.
Eastern girl, some Russians.
You know what's so funny is that's how so many people have felt about Jews, bro.
And I see that.
Throughout history, they've just been like, no, we don't need it.
Spain, we don't need it.
Morocco's the only place where they're like, kind of need it.
Yeah, but you take all the Moroccans in Israel, they all get together.
It's like it's russians and
moroccans together now that that's now the babies are hetzy hetzy wait a minute russians like the
moroccans it's always a moroccan dad and a russian or eastern european mom so when you see those like
hot israelis like bar rafaelis and the blue eyes of tan i followed idf girls by the way by the way yeah that's a lit instagram face
wait wait idf is what is i don't fuck america
is that what it is they make you wait that's what they should call that i don't fuck
because israeli girls as beautiful as they are do not give you no pussy you are salty bro i am
super salty. Like a... You're getting there.
I'm fucking up.
I was trying to come up with like a Jewish food that was salty,
like gefilte fish or like a...
Matzah soup?
What's super salty?
All their food is salty, right?
Gefilte fish, right?
Gefilte fish.
It's not my food.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's right.
Fine.
We get it, though.
We get it. Thank you. All right. You really rebounded. Yeah, you did that's right. Fine. We get it, Dov. We get it.
Thank you.
All right, you really rebounded.
Yeah, you did.
You did.
Well done.
Because you tanked the facts, and then he brought it back.
With the feelings, Dov.
With the feelings.
That's really all it takes to get us back on our side is like,
oh, are you going to hate on an ethnic group for that reason?
I'm in.
Let's go.
I'm in.
Shouts to y'all Persians, man.
Keep worshiping goldfish or whatever you do.
Yeah, yeah.
No ruse.
They have a goldfish holiday, right?
There's always a goldfish in a bowl on a holiday.
They flush that shit down the toilet afterwards.
I don't know what to do with it.
Look how tough does not fuck with Persians, bro.
This is great.
No, but they did teach me to hustle back in the day.
Oh, yeah.
We were just talking about that.
They just have a way.
With girls, you're saying?
No, no, no.
The way Dove gets his deals, that's some Persian shit.
Always coming out on top.
We think it's Jews, but maybe it's Persians
that taught you the art of the deal.
Persian shoes are the best.
That's what I grew up with.
So you've got your strongest
talent from Persia. No, that's what i grew up with pretty good so you got your strongest like your
strongest talent from persia no that's one vertical of my talents i'll be strongest one
that's one of the negotiations there's a persian negotiating technique but i've got so many others
i've told andrew like i'll look pathetic like a loser to get what i want sometimes you just have
to be willing to you gotta say persians bro they say thanks to the Persians, bro. They made you.
They made you.
How do you say thank you in Farsi?
Do you think Persians made you, bro?
Say thank you in Farsi right now, bro.
Come on.
Yeah, man.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
It's weirdly merci.
Is it merci?
Yeah.
But they say merci.
Merci.
Merci.
Garbage, that sounds.
Moroccans would say merci.
Merci. Merci. Why? Why? But. Moroccans would say merci. Merci.
But that's because the French came in there and started breaking backs.
They were taking all them hot Moroccan chicks and they started breaking backs.
Doesn't happen.
You don't think so?
Can't happen.
You don't think the French guys came down there and they just started busting y'all wide open?
Where's the idea of that, bro?
That does sound like what happened.
Because that merci that you said, say it again.
Yeah.
Which one?
The colonized one.
That shit sounded fire, to be honest.
They were going chokran and then merci.
Chokran.
Chokran.
Chokran.
You remember when a Parisian dude, we were at a restaurant and Dove just spoke full French
with him?
Oh, yeah.
I thought you just learned French.
Turns out you guys are fucking colonized people.
Oh, yeah.
That's why he knows it.
Of course.
This guy's fluent.
Okay, back to us.
Fucked up.
What else is going on, my guys?
We're good on SNL.
I think it was a cool moment to see the entire world interested in one thing.
Oh, my favorite part of SNL.
Yes, go.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because we got to get your dicks right.
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you get the best dick of your life it's time to deliver now let's get back to the show my favorite
part about snl yeah fuck elon right but oh my favorite part of that is that in the green room
before the show we're going back and forth like oh shit like what's gonna happen with dogecoin
after snl all this speculation so if
anyone that doesn't know dogecoin is basically this crypto that's based on like a meme so basically
after like bitcoin and ethereum and all these other cryptos popped up in 2013 this kid made
this like crypto that was basically just like a fake using old bitcoin technology there's no market
cap on it which means you can keep on mining it there's like billions of the coins it's still
blockchain the whole deal yeah but it's just based off this little shiba inu like dog that was a meme back in the day that they called doge so
now it's dogecoin so basically it started popping up and you could buy it for like you know they're
trading at like one cent a coin or whatever i'm sorry what just happened my girl need to start
messaging me before she buys shit because speaking of dogecoin
i started breathing heavy
I started breathing
Fucking heavy dog
What store?
I got the American
I got the
Oh god
What's
Lulu in Georgia
What's that?
Oh that's a furniture store
So I looked at the shit
From here
And my vision is gone
But I saw a comma
From here
And I was like This chick done lost Her goddamn goddamn mind buying shit with a comma without telling me, yo.
That's Andrew coin, bro.
That's Schultz coin, bro.
To the moon!
If there's a comma, you got to call me.
Call me for the comma.
She's a day trader, bro.
You got to respect her.
But it's furniture, so a comma is to be expected,
and I'm sure she ran this by you.
But you just weren't ready.
She definitely ran it by you.
She was running me by so many things.
She sent me a PowerPoint with like 15 things on it,
and I just agree on a PowerPoint?
Yeah, babe, we have so many things to do,
and then they sneak in the expensive stuff.
Running and buying.
It turns into running and buying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I literally, that was shocking to me right there, buying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I literally,
that was shocking to me
right there, dude.
By the way,
does it hurt knowing
that I have a discount
to that store
that you didn't ask me for?
Persian.
Persian.
Persian.
Persian.
Persian.
Persian.
Persian.
Now, what is that?
What was that right there
when you had an advantage
but you didn't share
with anybody?
I'm joking.
I didn't have it.
I just wanted to get you some.
But it's a good brand. Stuff's fire. No, he doesn't have it. Stuff's fire. What's it called? You didn't share with anybody. I'm joking. I didn't have it. I just wanted to get you some. But it's a good brand.
Stuff's fire.
No, he doesn't have it.
Stuff's fire.
What's it called?
You didn't want to ruin the pocket.
I don't want to shout them out again.
Okay.
They didn't pay.
Oh, my God.
Text me.
I'm going to shout them out for $100, though.
Lulu and George, if you guys want to get me up.
Baby, message me before you do the comma purchases, please.
That should be baseline. If there's a comma in the purchase, you have to text me. Why are you getting updates? You don Please. That should be baseline.
If there's a comma in the purchase,
you have to text me.
Why are you getting updates?
You don't need this in your life.
I need updates.
Amex be giving you updates.
How many of y'all got my fucking Amex?
I need fucking updates.
No, that's my point.
You don't need updates.
I got 15 people with my Amex.
You don't need updates.
Fucking Eddyn from WTF Media
probably still got my Amex.
I just give my shit out to everybody.
Everybody who's ever been a part of my business
has my fucking Amex. Just going as up been a part of my business has my fucking handbag.
Just going is up, baby.
It's down.
It's down.
Too many people buying shit.
I get shit.
I get so many goddamn purchases.
My business manager messaged me the other day, and they're like, yo, someone just returned
something worth $5,000.
And they're like, do you know what RHP is or some shit?
And I was like, fam, shut up and keep it.
What are you doing? Finally, we get money back. Finally, shut up and keep it. What are you doing?
Finally, we get money back.
Finally, there's money coming back.
We're not spending it.
And you're complaining.
You're complaining about these things.
My girl probably reverse purchased something by accident.
Keep the fucking money.
I don't even care if it's hers.
I don't care if it's coming out of her fucking business school.
Your bank account's like Netflix, bro.
You're just trading passwords with everyone.
That's it, bro.
I got shit.
There's 20 accounts on there.
I should have different accounts.
Who's Ted?
Who's Ted?
I should have different accounts, bro.
Watching fucking Narcos, dude.
How many of my exes probably still got my goddamn American Express?
You got too many streams coming in.
They're going to shut that shit down.
I can't wait for my car to run out of time.
Maxed out?
What's it called?
No.
Expired?
Expired, yeah. I can't wait. I'm like, yo. run out of uh time maxed out what's it called no expired the day expired i can't wait i'm like yo amex hurry up how many because you got when it expires then all the
people have my shit gotta ask again the only person has never been married but still paying
alimony bro dude i don't understand all these bits are still eating off me bro all of them
fuck fuck yo come on amex how are you gonna do this to me the beginning of a pod
everyone that's ever met you is like dude andrew's the nicest guy he's the most generous guy now we
know oh my goodness bro never she set me up lovely too she set me up so lovely 36 minutes ago amazon
purchased 37.64 i'm like all right. I'm going to literally eat that.
That was me, actually.
That's pockets, bro.
That's pockets.
That's nothing, bro.
That's dust.
Right after that, Lulu Lemon.
What is it?
Lulu in Georgia.
Whoever that bitch is.
Yeah, if it's got Lulu in the name, you're overpaying for it.
I'm overpaying, bro.
That's a fact, bro.
Oh, my God.
Is it the same bitch that make the pants?
Lulu.
Yeah, 100%.
Who is this bitch?
Let's call this dumb bitch.
Hippy ass bitch.
You're talking about Lulu and Jordan.
Yes.
Yes, absolutely.
Absolutely.
I'm definitely not calling my girl.
I feel a similar way, but I'm not going to say it live on the podcast.
Spending, fuck me.
Come on, bro.
Call Lulu and Jordan right now.
Call Lulu, this stupid ass.
I want to.
We got to bleep her name out, too.
She ain't giving us no fucking discount.
Give us some furniture at least.
Is it furniture?
Yes.
What costs this amount?
Furniture.
Why?
It's wood.
Nah, she probably got like a whole package.
Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness.
This is like $5,000 sofa.
This is not that great.
That shit.
Yeah.
How's that G-Wagon now?
How's that G-Wagon now, bro?
Listen, I think my Asperger's going away, bro.
I'm reacting emotionally to this.
I need some more burgers, bro.
Oh, my God.
Don't return the wagon.
Return the wagon.
Let's go back to 60.
I need to get my X3 again.
Get the S series.
Why did you get the G-Wagon for the last three weeks?
Because I spiraled.
I didn't tell you what happened? Yeah, he blacked out. Oh, my God. No, I need to get my X3 again. Why did you get the G-Wagon for the last three weeks? Because I spiraled. I didn't tell you what happened?
Yeah, he blacked out.
Oh, my God.
No, I need to hear this story.
I need to hear this story.
Oh, my God, bro.
My rental was for three months.
We extended to Florida for one month.
I didn't realize that.
So the guy's like, yo, you got to drop off the BMW.
I was like, yo, just run it back.
He's like, yo, if I run it back, it's more blah, blah, blah.
Why don't you just come here and we'll see what we can do?
I go there.
He goes, yo, you want to check out anything different i go well i mean why are we here
you know i'm saying why are we here we might as well check some shit out
so i start walking the lot i see the audi i see the audi a4 some shit it's a drop top i get in
that bitch i'm like yo let me drive around in a drop top the guy's like yo i could get this for
you for like the same that you got the X3 for.
And I'm like, yo, this might be lit.
And then the guy tells me, it's Florida in May.
You're not going to want a drop top, bro.
You're going to melt.
You're going to melt in this drop top.
I'm like, all right, fine.
We keep walking.
And it was destiny, bro.
It was destiny.
Yeah.
A G-Wagon brand new starts rolling into the parking lot freshly washed
they just washed it yeah yeah yeah they'd be doing that though they'd be just washing them
they'd be washing these cars watching the fuck out when they wash them cars it's hard that's
the makeup for cars they'd be sparkling yo that's eyeliner for cars oh my god it was so beautiful
when it pulled up shit is, it's a Snapchat filter.
It ain't ever going to look like that again.
It's not real.
I had to sit in it,
try to close the door.
That shit didn't even close the first time, bro,
because I wasn't strong enough.
That shit was heavy, dog.
And then he says, this is how he got me.
He goes, nah, this is...
You can't treat this like a car. He goes, this is you can't you can't treat this like a car he goes this is a military
vehicle when he said that shit son i said sign me up bro i said i don't care how much it is
one month we'll do it thank god the guy gave me a very nice hookup discount but i had to have that
g-wagon and i was driving back home in that fucking g wagon
and it hit me about 20 minutes hit me about 20 minutes right and i'm driving back home yo and i
was like let me tell you something if my girl doesn't shit her pants with excitement when i
show her this car i think i think i'm canceling the wedding bro i think if she doesn't hop out
of bed and shit her fucking pants out of sheer
excitement for this goddamn
car, the wedding
is canceled.
Okay? I'm not playing
games, bro. I rolled up
mad loud, hit the fucking horn.
Lean on it. Lean on that bitch.
Yeah. Mark came down
concerned.
I thought there was a dispute happening, bro.
I was scared.
I was like, what?
I'm having an angry Uber driver's got a G-Wagon.
My girl goes to look to the car.
This is her dream car, right?
I really did it for her.
It's her dream fucking car.
She comes out.
She goes, oh, my gosh.
She's hugging me, kissing me.
She walks back in.
I'm in bed like, yeah, it's poppy.
You know what I mean?
I'm like, it's poppy
Poppy right now. What are you coming home deliver? What are you expecting? Come back in she goes man. It's like a boat
I swear to God I almost put that shit in reverse and just walked out the car
And just walked out the car and let that shit drive. That's right.
No.
That man, Luis, would have sailed away.
Driving off the bridge.
Off the bridge.
We going to make it a boat.
We going to drive it right in the fucking canal.
You keep calling this shit a boat, yo.
Oh, my God.
Spending all my goddamn money, bro.
Making me spend my goddamn money.
Maybe that's a compliment, though.
Girls love boats.
No, but you know what you got out?
Now she knows maybe you don't want to buy it down the road.
You spent this money now.
If you bought it down the road, it'd be like, what the fuck we got this for?
Yeah, I'm not buying that down the road.
Yeah, now you know.
I'm not buying it.
I mean, I'll be honest with you, it's fire.
Really?
It is fire.
It's also my girl's dream car, which I'm not.
We got an Accord.
I'll be honest with you, though.
This is something I really learned, bro.
It don't feel that good helping them achieve their dreams.
That's something they never tell you, actually.
That's a great point.
You thought it would, right?
You thought it would, right?
You're like, yo, this is... Oh, that was a good throw.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. you thought it would, right? Like, you're like, yo, this is, oh, that was a good throw. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
You thought it would.
No, you thought it would because you're like, this is her dream car.
I'm going to get it.
And they tell you that.
They tell you. It's the best thing to help someone achieve their dream.
Like, this is her dream, so I'm going to help you live your dream.
They be waking up mad quick.
Son, they wake up quick.
They wake up quick.
I can't get a rim cycle out this motherfucker.
Not even one, bro.
It's a boat.
That shit was a boat.
I just got the G-Wagon.
It's a boat now.
It's a boat.
You described it as a boat.
There's a lot of different words you could use to describe cars.
Boat's not one of them.
You could say this is my dream car.
It's a dream come true.
It's a dream come true.
That's it.
But you come back here with a boat.
We got problems now now in the future my dream when you say something like oh that's my dream person like you better get some sleep
it's like a tote bag
it's like a backpack
because that's the only time you get in that it's like a life raft Oh, yeah. It's a backpack. Because that's the only time you get in that.
It's like a life raft, man.
Bro.
I love this.
Unbelievable, bro.
Unbelievable.
I never thought I would feel that way.
But that's on her for making me feel that way. I think that's female propaganda, bro.
It is propaganda.
They told us it's so nice to help people achieve their dreams.
Help your girl achieve her dreams the best.
I thought I loved it.
And after experiencing it
i do not compare to achieving my own dreams yeah it's not even close son you know what i get the
same out of this is what i get the same out of we're at dinner right and then she's like should
we get dessert and i'm like we're getting two that's the same as getting a g-wagon literal
the same reaction the same reaction the same reaction as a g-wagon is two desserts and at the end she's like i feel
like a boat i'm dying oh my god yeah i'm telling you bro uh don't don't help them achieve their
dreams bro it's not the return the return on the investment is very similar it's very similar to much cheaper
things uh-huh yeah like two desserts is way better two desserts with my girl i want to get
to your dream uh apartment here we are here we are it's like a pool house it's it does feel
here we are and card is going crazy.
My card's going crazy right now.
Amex is not even stepping in the way.
Step in.
Step in.
This is your job.
Amex is going to be doing nothing, yo.
Amex is going to be doing nothing.
When I want to buy some shit, you want to embarrass me?
You want to step in and embarrass me, right?
When I want to go buy a watch, when I want to go buy a nice fucking watch, Amex will
immediately, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay?
This girl furnishing a goddamn castle
and I don't get a single
fucking interruption
from Amazon.
Will you do this for me
if this ever happens?
What?
If my girl spends way too much,
I need you to call her
from a secret number
and say it's fraud.
Yo, this is a great idea.
It's probably going to happen anyway
because you're probably
using Andrew's Amex.
Don't even stress.
It's the house Amex.
Everybody in the house
is more than welcome
to use it, guys.
I'm surprised all the listeners don't know my fucking Amex by now.
Bro, we're a hedge fund, dude.
We are.
We are.
We are a fucking hedge fund.
We're bleeding money, but we're a hedge fund.
Oh, my goodness Christ.
My goodness Christ.
I'll be looking.
I'll be like, yo.
I'm bringing Christ into this right now, son.
I'll be looking at so many people with Andrew's Amex.
I'm just like, what the hell is happening right now?
Everybody got his Amex? Yo, literally. What is this? Everybody in this room got's Amex. I'm just like, what the hell is happening right now? Everybody got his Amex?
Yo, literally, everybody in this room got my Amex.
Not me.
Everybody else.
Yo, everybody in this room, Miles got my Amex.
Yo, you don't got to rob.
Everybody at home planning to rob me.
You don't got to rob me.
Rob them.
They got all the information.
There's nothing you can get from me that you can't get from them.
Go rob them.
Save me.
Oh, my God.
I constantly see. I'll be looking. Oh, my God. I constantly see.
I'll be looking.
I'll be like.
I constantly see shit, too.
That's the issue.
How did Mark get a platinum ammix?
Oh, and Miles?
How the fuck Miles got a platinum?
Oh, shit.
Yo, I'm so concerned with all my charges and shit like that.
Alvin flying first class.
I had to text Dove.
I said, Dove, are you buying this motherfucking first class tickets with my ammix?
I couldn't believe it, bro.
That's the Persian first class, bro.
It might have been.
That's how it goes.
On the Delta, I was like, oh, he's Delta.
He could use his points.
Now we're on American.
He was flying first class.
I was like, dove?
Literally texted me while we're on the flight, and he's sitting in front of you in that first
class.
And I'm like, no, you burned through his miles and paid a couple.
Nah, he just keeps finessing, bro.
By the way, that was garbage first class.
It was.
It was. The Mexican first class ain't worthing, bro. By the way, that was garbage first class. It was. It was garbage first class.
Domestic first class ain't worth nothing, yo.
American is trash.
Bro.
If you ain't laying flat, get out of here.
Oh, my God.
That's economy plus, bro.
Get out of here.
It really is economy plus, man.
It was economy plus.
Bro.
Okay, I think I'm back.
I think I'm back.
Say what?
Andrew definitely paid me back for being in first class, though.
Oh, yeah.
I hit him.
I hit him hard, bro.
I farted no less than 700 times.
G's up, bro.
I mean that sincerely.
G's up.
I mean that sincerely, and it seems like I'm being hyperbolic when I say that.
The pilot came on, and he was like, we're experiencing air pressure in the cabin.
We keep on ascending for some reason.
The sensors are a little twitchy.
Sorry for the turbulence.
We don't know what's causing it, but we're going to get to the bottom of this right now.
There's a methane leak in the cabin.
Oh, my God.
It was so foul, bro.
They were sulfuric.
Yeah.
The farts were sulfuric.
Yeah, people were concerned.
I still laugh.
I remember Aaron told me a similar story on the podcast where he was farting next to a girl.
I'd be farting.
And then it was silent, and then she was trying not to respond.
And at one point, dead silent, he farts silent, and then he just hears,
Fart! From a lady. She was trying not to respond. And at one point, dead silent, he farts silently. And then he just hears, fuck!
From a lady.
This bitch was over it, bro.
She was over it.
She was doing my farts the whole fucking flight.
And then she took one deep puff.
She's went, and this is pre-mask.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is pre-mask.
Dude, mask on.
You can still smell it. Mask off. Oh, it's all in there. It's game over, dude. This is pre-mask. Dude, mask on. You can still smell it.
Mask off.
Oh, it's all in there.
It's game over, dude.
This girl was furious.
And she knew exactly where I was coming from.
No nose condom, bro?
Come on.
Oh, yeah.
Damn.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's payback, dog.
You were hitting out with that, the one, too.
Oh, yeah.
I was right behind me.
I was just letting it rip, dog.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
This felt so good
just air out your colon dude dude i was airing out that shit checks i do have to actually on
that flight i was like i have a problem do you think you have more colon i have a problem i have
six times i shit three times a day and i fart at least 150 times a day and i think i have an actual
physical problem you think you have more colon what do you think it is maybe it's how you stay
lean bro maybe you're getting it all out i think i am getting all out i think that does help me And I think I have an actual physical problem. You think you have more colon? What do you think it is? Maybe it's how you stay lean, bro.
Maybe you're getting it all out.
I think I am getting it all out.
I think that does help me stay lean.
Yes.
But I also think that I have some sort of digestive issue that turns everything into farts.
High pressure.
High pressure colon.
Exactly.
Everything gets turned into farts with me.
So it's like, yeah.
It's a different form of energy.
There's different types of natural gas over there.
Say what? I am natural gas. You're eco-friendly, bro. That's a good point. You yeah say what I am natural gas eco
friendly I am environmental friendly now this is methane yeah whoa whoa there's
some fracking going on fracking your ass we gotta find a way to utilize this what
if we could use the parts for energy it's got to be a way technology will
come about 100% yeah dove you think about
this you look like something hit you no maybe that's what destroys the world cow farts yeah
but that's cow farts bro human farts is different yeah human farts are kind of lit um all right so
should we talk about another topic no al's doge debacle oh my god i'm sorry for interrupting that
you didn't go what you didn What? You didn't interrupt.
I didn't interrupt.
No.
Okay, go.
You were trying to save your bank.
Oh, that's true.
That's true.
I was interrupting.
Yeah, Amex interrupted. Okay, so first of all, this was so sweet because I did not know anything was going on with
this and I just saw Mark laughing hysterically.
Oh, it made me so happy.
Oh my God.
Okay, go.
Well, Mark has been trying to get me to get Dogecoin for months.
Yeah, I was trying to.
Yeah.
If you put in the amount of money
you put in Bitcoin or Dogecoin,
how much money would you have?
Less.
Less?
How is it possible it's less?
Less.
At some point, less.
At some point, less.
What does that mean?
At some point, we're all dead.
It's not a real currency.
I just want to side with Akash.
So whatever he says, I'm going to agree with.
It's not a real thing.
It's not a real thing.
It means nothing.
If you put the amount you have in Bitcoin and Doge,
you would be crazy right now.
You would be out this world.
How are you doing?
You would have quit.
How are you doing?
India is better than Scotland, right?
Even with the drop, I broke even.
How are you doing?
Dogecoin sucks.
Dogecoin sucks.
Yeah, you have firewood.
Even with the drop, I broke even.
I'm still good.
Huh?
Get out of here.
What happened?
I bought in early.
All right.
So basically, here's what Al did.
Okay.
So basically, Al decided to take-
Sorry, everybody.
Al took investing advice from fucking-
Thank you for pushing through that moment of awkwardness.
There were seven different conversations going on, but we finally have gotten back to our focus point, okay?
Mark, tell the story about how Al lost all his money.
Yeah, we're in the green room.
Okay.
And we're all talking about Dogecoin.
We're like, dude, Elon's going to talk about Dogecoin in the monologue, in the sketch.
It's going to spike.
It's going to go super high. It's going to gonna hit a dollar by sunday yeah and then it's
gonna crash by tuesday so let's all buy in now it's gonna go big and then we sell on tuesday
and then we'll all make a ton of money and uh that was miles's whole strategy miles is sort of
our like miles is maybe the worst investor in the history of investment i think he is the worst
he really is he talks about investments he lost This motherfucker has gone all in on Dogecoin, Onyx.
This is the thing, though.
And that stupid mustache he has.
He had Bitcoin and sold it dumb early.
Yeah, he did.
No, he did that with Bitcoin and Dogecoin.
He bought Dogecoin at like half a cent and then sold it at six cents.
And then that was it.
He's like, yeah, bro.
I made my money.
Made my money.
All right, so go on.
So boom, what happened?
So Elon goes on. So Al goes, yo, bro. I made my money. Made my money. All right, so go on. So boom, what happens? So Elon goes on.
So Al goes, yo, I'm putting in five grand, okay?
Puts up five Gs, throws into Dogecoin an hour.
You didn't put up five.
Oh, you put up a thou.
An hour before.
Why are you trying to front on a podcast?
Hey, I was going to let that go.
I didn't know how much it was.
So he put in a grand in Dogecoin, which is still a lot of money.
And then he puts it up.
And then as soon as Elon goes on stage, the second he goes up, that shit drops immediately.
It falls like, what, 30 points?
And I hit a vowel, and he doesn't even know yet.
So I just keep on watching it.
And I don't tell him.
And I just keep on watching it fall, and it keeps on going.
I saw Mark's story where the Dogecoin prices said, this is so funny, and I didn't know why.
He's laughing hysterically at my face.
But apparently, Elon had a fucking sketch
where he called it a hustle.
Fucking idiot.
Yeah.
It's a hustle.
He's not an idiot.
You got a hustle, bro.
Yeah.
The biggest proponent of it don't call it a hustle.
Yeah, because we all know it's a hustle.
Yeah, but as long as he doesn't admit that.
We're all trying to make money on the hustle.
As long as he doesn't admit that.
You're just trying to make money while it's a meme.
We know this.
But there's dummies like Miles that doesn't know this.
Don't say we.
No.
We know this.
We know this.
But Miles thought it was going to the moon, baby.
So you put it in a gram.
This bitch bought something.
Is that real?
Can I look at the phone, please?
Verify that it's real.
Sometimes Andrew just, can I see?
You can look at the phone.
You can look at the phone.
Oh, my goodness.
I'm just joking.
She didn't buy anything.
I just had to get us out of that moment.
Oh, my God. Okay, so, Al, how much did you lose total? She didn't buy anything. I just had to get us out of that moment. What?
Oh, my God.
Okay, so, Al, how much did you lose total?
I didn't lose anything.
Oh, my God.
Stop.
What do you mean you didn't lose anything?
Because I bought in early when it was low.
So, my initial investment, it kind of like canceled out.
So, it's like.
Bro, you bought in the hour before the.
Yeah, you bought in at the stock's high.
I had already.
If you count the money that you spent before.
How much did you lose from the $1,000?
Oh, from the $1,000, like $200.
That's not bad.
Okay.
This is what I felt was the most interesting thing with the whole Dogecoin fiasco.
It's, in a weird way, the proof of slippery slope.
But from the side of the people, not from the side of the oppressive, tyrannical government.
Yes. So I go to Al, yo, are you just going of the oppressive, tyrannical government. Yes.
So I go to Al,
yo, you're just going to sell it?
You might as well just sell it.
And then Al goes,
I've been trying to go on Robinhood and they won't let me.
I can't access my account
or you just couldn't sell.
Now they wouldn't let you sell.
They wouldn't let you sell, right?
Now, a few weeks ago
when Robinhood did that with GameStop,
we flipped out.
We're like, yo, the FBI
got to arrest this motherfucker.
This is an absolute crime like
how can this person not be in jail right now it's disgusting what they're doing they're rigging the
markets etc right people like i'm boycotting robin hood i'll never put my money with robin hood this
is fucked up it's fucked up what they're doing right three weeks later when it happens al was
just like yeah it's annoying but it is what it is so the slippery
slope is not often the government it's the people allowing themselves to be oppressed yeah so it's
the government or the people in power always going to try to you know utilize that power to get what
they want yeah right but the people's tolerance is what adjusts. And we've just become comfortable with the fact that if Robinhood or these other accounts just don't want to let us sell our shit because it could benefit them, they might.
And we just got to sit there and take it.
That's kind of wild.
Oh, I actually thought it was an issue with the structure.
Like, too many people trying to sell at once.
Yeah, that was it.
Because it started.
Motherfucker, figure your shit out.
What is this?
Too many people trying to sell at once.
Your whole app is Sell Buy and sell
Like you have two things
To worry about
Yeah
But I think
Buy and sell now
The whole thing is
You can do it right now
I think what it says to me
Is that
He's extra solid
But he's like
Some people can buy all the time
You know what I mean?
They buy super easily
So they're buying
Everyone's selling
You know what I mean?
It's like when everybody
Tries to buy Jordans at once
And the fucking app The website just crashes It's just only so many transactions a website make
a better website bro i ain't got time for this i know we're not there you got my money imagine
trying to get your money out the bank and the bank is like yo we're just too many people trying
to get money out the bank yeah yeah suck my dick yeah you making money off my money and then when
i need to make some money you're not gonna let you. Yeah. That's crazy because you only had a thousand in there.
Imagine you put a million in there.
Now, imagine you had a million in Robinhood
and you're like, yo, I got to sell.
This shit is going down.
It wasn't going the way that I thought it was going to go.
This is my kid's college fund, et cetera.
Yeah.
Now all of a sudden it's not, oh, the website's down.
Yeah.
It's like, yo, you were stealing my money.
Yeah. It's crazy. Now with the GameStop thing and the crypto thing, all of a sudden it's not oh the website's down yeah it's like yo you were stealing my money yeah
it's crazy now with the gamestop thing the crypto thing is a little different just because like
there's a precedent for gamestop where it's like with the with stock trading like there's a i guess
a history of how stock trading goes whereas like with crypto it seems like it's just kind of wild
wild west baby that's why we're crypto cowboys yeah that's what i'm saying but wait i don't
understand why like because like trading like crypto is almost trading like a like a forex it's like a
like you're trading on like exchanges or something so you're trading a currency almost whereas like
with big or with gme it's like you're trading like a stock and there's a precedent in history
for like how stocks are traded so i think people being outraged by gamestop makes sense considering
the precedent whereas like the crypto thing is just like, can't sell crypto, and that's just what it is.
No, it isn't.
What benefits is it?
Why would it be?
Hold on, hold on.
Why would it be that?
The app never told you initially.
They never said, hey, by the way, it's crypto,
so we might just not let you sell it.
No, but in terms of the cultural idea
about how people view selling crypto.
The cultural idea about how you view selling crypto
is it's instantaneous.
It's actually more functional than traditional stocks
because you can trade it in the moment
and that gets minted to the blockchain in the moment.
24-7.
24-7.
The historical precedent is much better than stocks.
That's why it's so shocking.
I actually believe it with stocks
because they've shut down the stock market before.
They shut it down in the Great Depression.
They shut it down, I'm sure, other times throughout history where shit was really fucked up.
There's zero precedent for them abusing the markets like this.
What do they gain from stopping people selling Doge?
Well, there's a run on the coin.
So they stopped the run on the coin.
It's like when the banks close because there's a run on the banks.
Everybody wants to get their money out the bank and the banks are like, oh, my bad.
So Robinhood is super invested in Dogecoin?
Maybe not Robinhood, but maybe what is it?
The people that own Robinhood or the people that pay Robinhood crazy money to get their trade information.
Citadel.
Citadel, et cetera.
So like the way that they make money is that like Citadel is this big hedge fund basically buys their investor data.
So now you have all of us investing and making these trades, buying or selling things, and
that information goes to Citadel, and Citadel can make their big hedge fund moves based
on all this buy and sell data.
So what if Citadel, sorry, is super invested in a company, and they actually, it would
hurt Citadel in a huge way if there was a run on the coin.
So Citadel might be, I'm not saying this is what happened, but it is a potential, this
is a hypothetical, like the worst case scenario,
they go,
yo,
shut that shit down,
because we're going to lose mad money,
and I think the difference is,
we are,
it's hypothetical,
that there are hedge funds,
invested in Bitcoin,
et cetera,
in their best interest,
and with GameStop,
the whole point was,
oh,
a bunch of hedge funds,
are shorting GameStop,
fuck the hedge funds,
let's all buy GameStop,
and drive this,
so you knew,
you were fucking the hedge funds, and you knew knew it was in the hedge fund's best interest.
This time there was no for sure hedge fund behind it.
We're thinking maybe there is.
This is why there might be because I believe that 80% of Bitcoin is owned by like the top 100 addresses.
Sorry, sorry, Dogecoin.
So what they're saying is like 80 80 of the coin wealth is centralized in only
a hundred different people around a hundred people control doge's entire 46 billion dollar market
if 46 billion dollar market cap is controlled by 100 people you don't think a few of them are like
yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo al literally went on twitter the second his shit started to drop he
was like buy doge you know he's, I'm not letting this fucking coin fall.
Imagine you could call up the dude from
Robinhood
and be like, hey, cut that shit out for a little bit.
I'm not about to have this coin just go to the fucking
floor.
Here's my question about Dogecoin.
I don't want to get lost in the woods, but then couldn't you just make more
Dogecoin? Isn't that the whole point?
There's no finite amount? No, I think they have a finite amount. They don't have a finite amount in the woods, but then couldn't you just make more Dogecoin? Like, isn't that the whole point? You can never, it never, there's no like finite amount.
No, I think they have a finite amount.
They don't have a finite amount, but they have an amount.
They don't have a rule on not making more, but they do have an amount that they say they
were going to make.
Whereas Bitcoin, the way I guess the formula is set up is that it just stops minting at
a certain point.
Yeah.
They haven't done all the minting for Dogecoin.
And this is the real thing
about Dogecoin, which is like, if
Dogecoin can become popular enough,
the minting money will go towards Doge.
Right now, the minting money, I imagine, is with
Ethereum, is with Bitcoin.
But if people start taking that minting power
and putting it on Doge, that's what drives the price
up. Right?
Because they're like, oh shit, there's more profit to be made if we're
getting this Dogecoin than there is Bitcoin.
It's so much mining
to get a Bitcoin
opposed to this Doge,
which is currently
going to the moon.
Anyway,
point is,
it's just interesting
how tolerable
we can become of tyranny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
that's the Canada shit, bro.
Yeah.
Yo,
it's fucked up
what's happening in Canada, bro.
It's really fucked up.
They're thinking about
doing another lockdown.
What?
Canada got to eat this,
bro.
They can't say nothing
about healthcare ever again.
Yo, we got to close
our borders.
We can't just let these
Canadians come in,
take our healthcare.
I think low-key,
I think we did.
That's what we need to do.
No, we got to help them,
bro.
That's just,
they're refugees.
So we do.
They're Canadian refugees.
Yo, should we treat them like humans?
Like if they get one foot in America and then they get some sort of like status or citizenship,
a bunch of little Elian Gonzalez's.
That'd be sick.
Yeah.
Canadians are nice.
They'd be like good workers and stuff.
Like they want to come over.
Nah, but for real, it is fucked up what's going on over there, man.
And I guess maybe it's happening in other places as well.
I heard like in Europe, they might do another lockdown. I don't get it, man. And I guess maybe it's happened in other places as well. I heard like in Europe, they might do another lockdown.
I don't get it, bro. At a certain
point in time, people
It's not working. The lockdown's not
working at a certain point in time. I mean, I don't
know if Wheels is telling the truth, but like that Texas
governor motherfucker every single day tweets
about how low the cases are and
how many people are vaccinated. It looks like Texas
is popping. Texas cracking open.
I mean, Florida popping.
We were in Arizona.
Arizona might have been the wildest
of all the places we've been.
I've heard Arizona been open.
Son.
On the low.
It's wild, bro.
And granted, you know,
if vitamin D is the thing
that actually stops you
from dying from COVID,
they got plenty of vitamin D
out there, son.
Yeah.
But it just shows them
there's places that are
fucking wide open.
Man, we had so much fun in Arizona.
Thank you, everybody who came out to the shows.
This was so, this shit was so much fun.
We were sitting around until like 4 in the morning just telling stories.
Talking a story.
This is what my boy Bobby calls it, man.
Hawaiians have a term just called talking a story.
And we're out until 4 in the morning,
literally just like regaling parts of our like childhood jameel was there we were talking about like old new york shit was happening like we were having so much fucking fun and it literally
reminded me of burning man yeah it was just so cool to like sit down and just like i don't know
just connect with a bunch of people and everybody talk about their like most embarrassing stories
it was cold like it was cool to like make fun of each other,
but also like build each other up,
like tell the coolest stories that ever happened to Jamil and also the most
embarrassing ones.
I don't know.
We get at least lost in the sauce because a lot of times we live an amazing
life and it's incredible,
but a lot of times I think it's very,
you know,
work focused as well.
And we enjoy what we do,
but you know,
we got to work on these bits for the stage.
We were got to work on this show.
We got to work on these things for the podcast. were gotta work on this show we gotta work on these things for the podcast and it's so much fun
that it gets blended but this was a few hours where there was no work at all and it was just
like yo let's hang out make each other laugh and have fun and uh man that shit filled me up so much
yeah i was super grateful for that yeah i learned a lot about you and and uh jamil and and dove
learned a lot about though oh. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Goddamn mouths.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm a little tense right now.
You notice that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Al just jumped in the notes.
Nope.
I saw Al's icon in the notes.
Just nope.
Maybe we tell that story on Patreon.
Maybe that's a Patreon story.
That's a wild story.
Bro, Dove's story is crazy.
Son, this is how wild it was.
I forgot it.
Like, I forgot the wild part of it. No, you just made your own reality. That's what you did. I did make my own reality. You blocked it was. I forgot it. Like, I forgot the wild part of it.
No, you just made your own reality.
That's what you did.
I did make my own reality.
You blocked it out.
Yeah, yeah.
You said it to me once.
I thought it was a joke.
What?
You truly said it.
I was like, dude, like, how do you deal with this, this?
Like, I was asking you, like, genuine advice.
You go, yeah, bro, you just make your own reality.
Yeah.
I was like, oh, funny.
That's a good one.
No, yeah, you just do that.
That shit happened to me a bunch of times in my life.
Really fucked up things happen.
I just forgot.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Ass burger, dog.
Yeah, it's great.
I think I got burgers, bro.
Yeah, you're burged out.
I got burgers, bro.
I really think I do.
You are a big Mac.
You are a Mac now.
What else happened, bro?
You want a pee break?
Yeah, let's do a little pee break.
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so we're out there in arizona we're cooling chilling by the pool and all of a sudden
people start hitting me up they're like yo chapelle's on rogan and he's he's uh he's hating
you on you bro he's throwing throwing shade at you right
i'm like there's no fucking way did chapelle be throwing shade or even hating or that
that i would even be on his radar right like so someone sends me the clip and i check it out
and uh we let's play it let's play doing things online and like andrew schultz the best example i think he started doing those
things like long rants like 10 15 minute rants with photographs and punchline after punchline
after punchline then they did a whole netflix special about it like he did a series of netflix pieces on it and what he did was he said okay i can't do stand-up but this
isn't stand-up so i shouldn't do stand-up like this because there's no audience so the key to
this and he figured it out he's like the key to this is you got to hit it fast the punch lines
have to come one after the other after it's got to be fast paced and with images so like he would
use all these visuals while he was hitting punch line after punchline oh wow he figured out a new way to do
comedy he figured out a way to do internet instagram 10 minute comedy well okay it was
but that's not like you say that's not stand-up no like this thing that you're describing god
bless him yeah that's not what i do I do. Yeah, it's different.
Yeah.
It's different.
It's different than the way he does stand-up, which is interesting, because his stand-up
is slower.
He holds laughs.
He holds paws.
He laughs at shit.
He fucks around.
He works a crowd a lot.
His stand-up is loose.
Right.
He has fun.
He's comfortable up there.
Right.
But these little clips that he does on Instagram rapid fire bang bang bang
he works with a series of writers
they all work together they put these things together
they work it out man
by the time it's done it is a polished machine
but he used that time
and innovated
that's clever
I'm not interested in it because
no disrespect to him
I like happening in real life.
Yeah.
Like, even during COVID, the fact that we found a way to get in front of audiences again
meant the world to me.
That's what I do.
Yeah.
It's a different thing.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, I could throw a slide show in the shit if I wanted to, but that crowd's
not there.
Right.
What's the fucking point for me?
I know what you mean.
But for him, he's coming up still. You know, you'd already made it well no yeah get back in there yeah and it's
it's a whole different ball of wax that's what i'm saying like that thing that he was that evolution
he was able to make i'm like the old guy who has that hot outfit from the 70s go fashion go on without me i look fine i'm that i'm good with what i um first of all
joe is the man yeah that was so dope like joe is just the man and he is like he's so rare
in that he celebrates other people's creativity and success. Like a lot of people who are even at the fucking top and you can't go higher than Rogan, you
know, they, they still want to protect what they have.
So they won't celebrate.
Joe's superpower is his lack of insecurity.
Yeah.
It is what he, like, if I'm interviewing somebody that's smarter, talking to somebody that's
smart and I'm Joe Rogan, I'm going to always try to put little smart shit in there.
You know, I need to come up with a good point because I'm insecure and I want to be like,
well, I'm not dumb. Yeah. Don't give a fuck. Yeah. Hey, you talk. I'm going to, that's why little smart shit in there. And I need to come up with a good point because I'm insecure and I want to be like, well, I'm not dumb.
Don't give a fuck.
Hey, you talk.
I'm going to.
That's why he's a great interviewer.
Yeah.
And this is the same kind of thing where it's like, I'm egoless.
Here's a kid doing amazing things.
I love what he's doing.
Flowers, flowers, flowers.
Yes.
On the biggest stage possible.
Flowers.
Because I have no insecurity.
A lot of people that successful still have that insecurity.
Like, well, I can't get flowers because then they might not think I'm as dope as i am joe don't give a fuck yeah so and you are killing it so
he's like yo andrew killing it yeah well that's we we're doing it that's not just me those things
mark work incredibly hard he wrote them with me robbie as well fa you helping out them as well
alex like miles with the pictures that was a group effort but it was so dope to see him give it up and
like if there's one thing that i've like tried tried to continue to pass on that I've definitely got from Rogan,
it's when you see other people doing dope creative shit, pass it on.
And I hope that we've used this platform to expose you guys to new people that we think are really awesome.
And I hope we've been doing that.
I think we are doing that.
I think we've been putting people on.
I think that we've been sharing what we have with other people that hopefully you appreciate it.
And now to Dave.
I actually, let me just give some context here.
I think I would have reacted the same way as Dave given how I was described.
Because if Dave has no clue who I am in terms of stand-up, right?
And Joe's describing this like kind of youtube or instagram comedy and you know how we all are the second you
tell me about like a funny youtuber a funny instagrammer yeah we're like i don't give a
fuck what that shit is a little slideshow we stand-ups yeah exactly we're stand-ups so this
is like i understand that first reaction yeah right and then so i probably would have reacted the same way in that regard.
But then when Joe's like, no, he's a stand-up, it's different,
and he found a way to evolve within the times.
And then I think he was a little bit dismissive to it,
and he was like, that's not my type of comedy.
That's not what I do.
And I guess the only pushback I would give there to Dave is that Dave is a household name,
not because of stand-up, but because of a different type of comedy. do it i guess the only pushback i would give there to dave is like dave is a household name not
because of stand-up yeah but because of a different type of comedy and he's still on any list one of
the goats that doesn't change that but you know most people know him from chapelle show yeah like
sketch show is what made him yeah a household name like if you think of like iconic chapelle lines
you're thinking of lines from yeah i was a dave chapelle stand-up fan before the show
we love david as a stand-up and it was just it wasn't a lot of people like that i remember going
to see him right before the show came out it was he was at a theater but it wasn't like it was easy
to get tickets right there was empty seats next to us yeah it's not like he made it as a household
name through stand-up he didn't make it through stand-up he used something else and then we found
him and then when we saw his stand-up we're like holy shit this guy's fucking prolific we love him as stand-ups yeah we always
knew how amazing he was right and current living go yeah and very few comedians break through just
as stand-ups a lot of them will have a show or something else exactly yes 100 is very rare like
fucking jim gaffigan yeah you know uh some people say me yeah because of you nate bargatze nate bargatze
is another one but um but look there again so i think that he would be a little bit more i guess
maybe understanding of the other types of of comedy you know what i mean we all love the
person-to-person interaction yeah but like we're also not multi-millionaires and we can covet test
every single person that comes to do a show in a barn like i don't have a barn yeah most people don't have barns yeah and they don't have millions of
dollars to pay for covid testing and these types of things so there were limitations to what we
could do and we tried to work around those limitations and then so do i understand the
reaction yeah i think people made too much of it like there's some fucking beat or like he's hating
on me or a shade or that kind of shit like i really don't think it is that but i don't know i mean maybe that's just me i think he caught himself and i've
we've all done there's nothing wrong with this you're being a little salty and then you catch
yourself and i think that's where he said the end part like i'm the dude at the in the 70s with the
hot outfit like this is what i do i think he was like i'm hating okay let me explain why i'm here
let me not hate and i think he was thinking i'm'm hating. Okay, let me explain why I'm hating. Let me not hate.
And I think he was thinking,
I'm kind of hating.
And we've all done this
where you're like,
I think I'm kind of hating.
Let me check myself
and be real with myself
and say, yeah,
but I'm an older dude
who been doing standup 30 years.
This is what I know.
This is what I'm going to do.
I think he caught himself.
I do think he knows
a little bit about you for sure,
us for sure,
this podcast for sure.
Dave's a plugged in dude
one of the coolest moments in my life as a stand-up is somebody telling me this before flagrant really
cracked off somebody telling me a story of dave chapelle watching my heckler video twice watching
it once playing it back for his friends when i fucking scream like a fucking groupie it was the
greatest moment as a stand so yeah that's great also and that's to Dave his flowers. That still means the world to me.
But he's also incredibly plugged in.
He knows what the fuck is going on.
He knows we've had clips where we might have been critical of certain things he did.
I think we tried to be three-dimensional and still give him his flowers as one of the greatest of all time.
To me, probably the greatest of all time.
But I think he was a little bit salty about that and took one or two shots.
And then to his credit, checked himself.
I was like, you know what, man?
I don't need to do that.
I'm fucking Dave Chappelle.
Right.
So let me give my own.
Yeah,
this is what I know.
It is what most people who are OGs do.
Like Joe is the exception.
Joe's the,
the OG who's like,
I want to give everybody flowers.
Like Charlamagne's like that.
Like Charlamagne's the OG that like,
he just wants to,
to share and like bring people up,
et cetera.
And then there are also some OGs and and I got these fucking tendencies, too.
It's like, everybody's like, yo, you got to get on TikTok.
And I'm like, the fuck am I going to do on TikTok?
And if a TikTok guy popped off, we'd be like, fuck that little guy.
And then, as an evolutionary thing, you're growing up.
You'd be like, you know what?
Let me check myself.
I'm old.
This is what I know.
I think that's what Dave was doing.
I have no problem with it.
I don't think he was taking a shot.
I think a moment of insecurity is allowed allowed or a moment of hating or whatever you
call it is allowed and then he was like well i don't know it was funny because joe's trying to
describe like what we do and then dave's like he's like that's just not what i do and joe's like
yeah we're not talking about you i know we're talking about this other guy does it he's like
but that's not what i do he's like yeah i know but you already made it yeah like
they're trying to make it but uh i didn't listen to the whole build-up but like it seemed like
yeah kind of similar what you're saying if someone were to ask you like i don't know you like certain
like prank youtube videos or something yeah but if someone were to describe it and you hadn't seen it
and they were like oh yeah these guys they mess with people in the grocery store yeah like that's
not what i do exactly especially if it's in the context of stand-up.
Yeah, and talking about stand-up and talking about what you do.
And someone goes, oh, you know who else does great stuff?
This guy that does these prank videos.
Yes.
That's not what I would do.
But this is not stand-up.
Even though you actually do like those things,
you just might not have seen it.
That's what I saw it as kind of like when I re-watched it.
But then when Joe was correcting it and describing what was going on
and all these things,
it seemed like a little bit,
you know?
I'm PowerPoint Schultz-y, bro.
What are you saying?
You know what I'm saying?
We out here.
I think at the end,
I think he came around and was like,
yeah, but I'm also,
I'm old.
I'm the dude from the 70s.
Like, this is what I know.
So I was like,
hey, that's,
he gave a three-dimensional view of it
in the end.
He like,
I wasn't mad.
People put a lot of gas on it.
I wasn't.
Because it's fun.
It's fun to put gas on it. It's fun, I guess.
I guess you could definitely interpret it that way.
What were you going to say, Al? I was just going to say
I agree with what Mark said and also
he just talks like a goat.
Imagine
MJ, Kobe,
and somebody talking about how somebody else
plays. He's like, yeah, but he don't do what I do.
MJ said about LeBron, you just got to force him left.
Yeah.
So it's like I don't even necessarily take it as shade.
It's just like, hey, I'm just so focused on what I do that everything else doesn't matter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The only pushback I would give with that is like that isn't what you did to get here.
You did do other things to get here.
You did try to like evolve sketch.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
You did try. And you had the most prolific sketch show in history so you would think that there
may be be some understanding to comics who are trying to get to that same place but but again
he might have no clue what the context is and then maybe he afterwards goes oh shit i did see those
things oh now i know what it is so i can't put too much yeah too much gas on it um that's the
thing about it it's like as
much as i would love for like one of my fucking idols and heroes like dave to be like the biggest
fan of the of the thing like for me it's so easy to get caught up in the person that's not uh maybe
enjoying your shit or doesn't care or what i guess the word he was like uh it's i'm not interested
or whatever but at the same time i got one of my other idols and my heroes going, oh, my God, this is great stuff.
He did the best thing during the pandemic.
It's like, I'm going to choose to focus my energy there.
When I was younger, I probably wouldn't be able to do that.
And as I get older, like, man, what a fucking blessing, man.
The fucking goat.
Joe Rogan is saying, yo, we did some amazing shit.
And, you know, we did the best thing during the pandemic.
And he thinks it's worth bringing up to Chappelle.
Worth bringing up to the living goat with comedy.
He was like, I don't know.
For me, I think we should be very proud of it.
And I could check my ego and it is what it is.
Maybe Chappelle will see it one day.
Maybe he'll change his tune.
And if he doesn't, that's fine too.
Fuck it.
You know what I mean?
I think the takeaway from this is I'm not going to get a Chappelle chain anytime soon.
And you know
what i can live with that i think i'll be okay you know and if dave wants to rethink that then
um you know we can have that discussion yeah you know what i mean we don't even get chains though
that's fucked up on your part i should get y'all chains how dare you what should i what kind of
change should i get what do we get jewish stars star of ch Do we get Jewish stars for everybody? Star of Chelsea.
Star of Andrew.
I could fucking never.
We should get something like
jackets or something for
playground tattoos. Varsity
jackets for the fucking captain.
Definitely my face.
Nah, we should have
something like that. A gang has a bandana
We need a fucking bandana or something dude
We need some sort of symbol
That embodies the family and friendship
Fuck you looking at me
He brought up gangs and they do have the coolest
He's been staring at me the moment he said gangs
I know cause he's right
You're the only one who's been in the gang here dude
Yeah well we had a sign that we
Don't really throw up anymore
Fuckin' lot supremacists out here
oh that was one thing that i surprised people aren't talking about sorry to bring this back
but elon threw that up what during the um uh weekend update what'd he say no he threw this
up asshole army yeah yeah okay he's. Yeah. He's on the Patreon. He's on the Patreon.
We're bringing it back, baby.
Get us Elon, dog.
Get us Elon.
Duff, take this podcast to the moon, bro.
Get us Elon.
We need Elon, right?
We need Elon, dog.
Dude, we need to have a whole barbecue on this fucking show.
Welcome to the cookout.
Welcome to the cookout, boys.
Bet money we can make Elon funny.
We can do what SNL could not.
Let's do it.
Bet money.
Can I have your phone and text Rogan?
Yeah. 100%. I might need it. I might need it. Bet money. Can I have your phone and text Rogan? Yeah.
100%.
I might need to shoot a text.
Can't go through Chappelle.
What else we got going on, boys?
You got to slide your text.
What do you think about...
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what do you think about what happened with the the the pauls and floyd mayweather was it staged
of course to a certain extent but then there was some shit that was
real. Floyd was leaning
into it when he was running around afterwards like,
I'm going to kill that motherfucker. I'm going to kill him.
Floyd knows the cameras are on and he's going
to charge us up because he's like, the more
promo we do today, the less I have to do
until the fight. If this shit
flop, then he's got to do another promo thing.
He's got to go and do some more stuff.
They had an amazing promo. I'll tell you this you can't say jake paul made his career off of
logan paul if anybody ever said that before that's done yeah because logan is getting a lot of help
from jake right now i mean jake jake really really stole the the show man he did he really stole the
show he fucking stole the show and it's so funny man because like i really like logan yeah like
because he's so fucking likable like even off air just talking to logan he is a good guy
and genuinely likable like nice kind person i mean i remember asking about fucking nfts and
shit like that he just immediately hooked me up with his nft thing randomly hooked me up with
this kid in tennessee he's like yo this is good for you guys to meet
just out of nowhere yeah genuinely good right um so i think it's hard for him to play heel
yep he had one time in his life where he did some fucked up shit and it was out of character
like out of character meaning his character i think is more profitable when he's likable.
Okay.
Because that is closer to who he is.
Okay.
Jake can play the fuck out of a heel and ain't nothing more interesting than a heel.
Yeah.
Floyd has been so interesting his whole life since he started becoming a heel.
Yep.
Connor, incredibly interesting as a heel.
It is hard to be the face yeah i mean think about
characters in wrestling or anything else that are a face and likable even the great tom brady
is best when he's poking fun when he's being petty when he's talking shit when he's leaning
into heel yeah nobody want to care about that tom brady oh we worked really hard we passed everybody we did all this shit fuck that we care about him posting pictures of the team that got
their ass bust saying talk shit again or whatever the fuck he was saying you know how i don't know
if this applies but in wrestling when you want to make a guy popular you'll make him a heel first
and then everybody hate him and then you flip it's easier yeah it's an easier road to popularity
yeah that i don't suggest that logan
plays even though i've come on this podcast and i'm like it's easier if he plays the heel blah
blah it will be easier if he wants to just make money and then this is the big fight if he just
goes full fucking if he goes full tiki torch alt right this fight would make 200 million dollars
yeah but then what do you do the rest of your career the kid's still young yeah i think you're
gonna make less because you're not the heel
and it's harder to sell.
But I think it's a better
long play for your career.
Yes.
If for whatever reason,
and I do not see this
happening at all,
but if for whatever reason
he ends up beating Floyd,
Yeah.
the guy's fucking,
the guy could be president.
Yeah.
The guy could be
fucking president.
Imagine not retard Rocky.
That's Logan Paul if he wins this fight.
He beats Floyd?
He beats Floyd?
Rocky got a statue he couldn't even read.
He's a full fucking retard, this guy.
Okay.
Imagine a well-spoken guy goes and fights against,
essentially, the Apollo Creed of the real world, Floyd Mayweather.
Imagine he wins that fight, and he's well-spoken and funny and charismatic.
What could that guy not do?
The retard got a statue, a real statue for a movie character.
That is kind of, all right, I see that.
The not-tard?
Yep.
Also, hating Asians is an all-time high.
Yep.
That's the only bad thing that he's done in his career.
I think a lot of people forgive it right now.
There you go.
I think they might. I really think they might might now is the fucking time run yeah run for if he beats
floyd he has to run for office it has to the rock and logan paul and i'm sorry rocky but you got to
be vp you got to be vp vp security vp security let logan do it no Nah Logan's the face Logan is gonna be Logan's the face
I don't see what's so funny
So Logan's president
And it's just like
The Bushes
You know what I mean
Like
And then Jake can be
Like George Bush
Yeah yeah yeah
Like the C student
Smoking weed
Doing coke
Fucking bitches on the side
And then he eventually runs
We're like
This ain't that bad
Here's what's so genius
About their strategy
To let Jake be the heel
Yeah
Is now He's still doing promo For whatever his next fight is Yeah that's great runs were like, this ain't that bad. Here's what's so genius about their strategy to let Jake be the heel.
He's still doing promo for whatever his next fight is.
That's great. And Logan is letting
him do promo for this fight. So they're getting promo
two fights out with this one thing.
Run with it, boys. Yeah, it's brilliant.
Fucking run with it. Brilliant.
And Logan be like, oh, go ahead and protect my brother.
That's such a Logan. Are we still interested
in seeing Logan and Floyd or do you
rather want to see Jake and Floyd?
I think we always want to see the heel in anything.
Yeah.
Right?
But I am more interested in Logan, Floyd now just because of that press conference.
Yeah, I don't know if I'm—
And also the shit talk.
Like, the shit talk was kind of wild.
Remember when Floyd said something to him like,
you know, don't disrespect,
you know,
Japan or something like that.
Like you disrespected Japan.
And Logan was like,
you disrespected your wife or something like that.
Like,
I don't know.
Like they were going,
they were deep cut going back and forth and it was enough to get me kind of into it.
I was like,
okay.
I need to see that.
Yeah.
I only saw the fight.
So I didn't.
Cause yeah,
I only saw the fight and I'm not necessarily interested in Logan and Floyd,
but I'm a little more interested for sure.
And I'm definitely more interested in Jake.
So you got two fights where you piqued interest.
Yeah.
And you saw Jake's tattoo?
The gotcha hat thing.
I mean, this guy was selling hats that said gotcha hat within an hour.
Before he even took the hat.
The guy planned to take the hat.
Like, he understands the game.
This guy understands the game, and he doesn't care if you like him or not he gets to make the decision
what will get the most clicks without considering how he will be viewed in that decision yeah that
is valuable that is liberating it's a superpower exactly because think about we could all say the
craziest shit like i know how to get the most fucking clicks on that Chappelle conversation.
Just go in, trash, make it look like Chappelle's just trying to undercut.
We could clickbait the fuck out of that if we want, but it's not authentic.
It's not real.
That guy knows how to get clicks and can lean into whatever direction.
And if you underestimate him, you think he's stupid, I'm telling you, you're the stupid one.
And he's going to take your ass to the fucking bank yep the kid knows how to get stupid like a fox
what's that mean like everybody yeah you think they're stupid but they're actually
they know exactly what the fuck they're doing yeah it's a texas kid right there
another fight uh this weekend that was amazing we watched in the green room was the Canelo fight against Billy Joe Saunders.
And Canelo needs these fights, man, because he is the best right now.
He could go down as one of the best ever.
But if he doesn't have strong opponents, there's no interest.
This was a strong opponent, so we watched.
These past people he was fighting, these bums, we didn't give a fuck about. This was a strong opponent, so we watched. These past people he was fighting, these bums, we didn't give a fuck about.
This was a strong opponent.
We watched.
It is in Canelo's promotional company's best interest to start building up the fighters he's about to fight.
Because if not, we're not going to watch and we're not going to witness the greatness.
We watched this time and we witnessed fucking greatness.
I mean, that man is nice with it, bro.
And if I'm DAZN or whoever the fuck is promoting him officially,
all I'm doing
is dumping money into every other contender making them look like beasts making them look amazing
convincing the public that they're a worthy opponent the same way the ufc did that shit
with khabib everybody could be fought the ufc convinced us this is gonna be the one justin
gaethje this is gonna be the one that's emporia this is gonna be the one connor this is gonna be
the one they knew damn well none of them was going to do shit.
Right.
So you need to do the same thing with Canelo so you can build up his legend.
That is the beauty of having one promotional company have all the fighters,
is you get to build up all these other motherfuckers so your star looks dominant.
Yeah.
Build it up, man, because that guy's special.
And unfortunately, if you're not Mexican, you don't give a fuck.
Yeah, I don't.
Mexicans do.
70,000 of them inside Dallas Stadium.
I watched the Triple G fight, maybe the first or second one.
They had three, right?
Two.
Two.
Yeah.
The first one, a lot of people thought he lost.
Yeah.
Second one, I think more people thought Canelo won.
Okay.
And then I think the first one was even a draw.
It was a draw.
Yeah.
But a lot of people thought he lost.
A lot of people thought Triple G got hosed.
Second one, he won, correct?
Yeah.
So he's lost to Floyd only.
That's his only loss.
Yeah.
And then he has two draws.
Okay.
Yeah.
But yeah, that's a fucking good record.
You could go down as one of the best.
I mean, tons of fights.
The guy's been fighting since he was a fucking teenager.
Yeah.
Like, it's unbelievable.
But he just keeps getting better and better, man.
Like, if you really want to see greatness, that guy is truly great at what he does.
He's fighting overweight.
He shouldn't be this at 168.
The guy should be fighting at 154, 160 maybe.
He should not be fighting at 168
against these much bigger guys.
And he overpowers them.
He can't be hit by...
It's truly impressive what he's doing.
Yeah, man.
Is he going to get any of those legacy fights, you think?
Like Hakiao or any of that shit?
Well, I don't think that that's interesting anymore because those guys are so old.
And unfortunately, the state of boxing is very hard to build up star power right now.
Nobody's really interested.
None of these boxers have engaging enough personalities via social media.
They might be engaging, but they don't know how to get that shit across social media.
So we can't create those big money fights it's it's a real fucking shame man because you won't
notice how great he is unless he has great people to fight against yeah you're only as good as your
opponents yeah you know it's let me ask you a question i remember when him and floyd fought
sergio chacon said something to me like floyd is very smart and that's why he's fighting Canelo now
because he knows Canelo is going to get better.
I hate this.
I hate this argument
because it discredits Floyd.
It's like Floyd either fought them too early
or fought them too late
or fought,
it's like,
nah,
Floyd is better.
So to that end,
is Floyd then still better than Canelo now?
You think?
Is that something you can answer?
It's tricky because Canelo is fighting at 168 pounds
and Floyd only fought, the highest he ever fought was 154.
He should have never even fought it that way.
Yeah.
So it's like, I don't think anybody could touch Floyd,
and I think Floyd would have solved whatever puzzle.
Yeah.
And maybe that's against Canelo, but, yeah, I don't think he could.
Canelo believes that he would knock him out.
They've asked Canelo.
He's like, yeah, if I was in my prime, I fought Floyd, then I'm knocking him out.
You're not knocking him out.
Nobody can knock him out.
And the same thing is likely going to happen.
Maybe he lands a few less punches, but it's going to be hard to hit you, but it's going
to be even harder to hit him.
Yeah.
I remember watching that fight and being like, this is fucking Floyd.
I was there live, bro.
That shit was crazy.
Yeah, Floyd put on a show.
It was incredible.
I mean, it was easy.
It was light work. I mean, it was easy. It was light work.
I mean, people were shocked how light work it was.
But I hate that argument to discredit Floyd.
They always say that he fought people too late or too early.
And it's just like, no, bro.
He fights them when they're valuable enough.
Right.
You know, if the big money fight is there, that's when he fights them.
Yeah.
You know?
But everybody wants to try to discredit the king, man.
Anyway, what else we got, boys?
All right, guys.
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get back to you saw bill gates getting some oh and there's some more trouble oh
oh this is so interesting man bill gates and melinda gates have split up right now melinda
comes out and says one of the reasons for the split was because of what?
I got to roll in his eyes already.
Let me just get it out.
Get it out.
One of the reasons for the split was because of...
You're a hater, bro.
Hater, bro.
You're a hater, bro.
That bill would be great, dog.
She said one of the reasons for the split was because of Bill's relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.
Okay?
And she just couldn't tolerate it anymore.
She found out about the meetings, and then she started trying to file for divorce, I think, back in 2019.
And I guess when the official Wall Street Journal, New York Times article came out about their relationship.
And, I mean, this just proves what a fucking just wretched whore Hillary Clinton is, dude, when you think about it, right?
Hillary Clinton has no feeling in her heart or pussy the fact that she would still be married
to Bill Clinton after he was besties with Jeffrey Epstein and Melinda Gates, who knows likely her
husband's a scumbag, right? Like at bare minimum, just a business scumbag. Not even like a human being scumbag,
but like willing to rip you off
and being like really tough
in negotiations
and willing to like crush companies
that are going to try
to get in his way.
Basically not the most.
She was also like
a corporate exec to Microsoft.
Like, she might be also a scumbag.
You know what I mean?
Very true.
She might be a ruthless businesswoman.
Very true.
She married him
when he was the richest man
in the world.
That's her businesswoman.
But I feel like she's a corporate exec to Microsoft in the same way, like, Memphis Bleak is a corporate exec for Rockabuck.
Do you know what I mean?
It's just like, all right, well, I got to give him a job somewhere.
You know what I mean?
Melinda Bleak.
Come on, Memphis.
Yeah, this is Melinda Bleak.
So it's like, she want to be on a foundation?
All right, be on a foundation, bitch.
Like, do whatever you gotta do how
do i get to go away once a year with my ex-girlfriend if you're on the foundation you
want to give away all your money so i can't go away did you guys hear about that part no you know
yeah we're like wait wait which part for bill gates had a ex-girlfriend he got to take one
vacation a year with yeah who's not not Decent feet. I looked at the feet.
Decent feet, bro.
Decent feet.
Decent feet.
But how awful
is Hillary Clinton, bro?
That chick is ugly, son.
Yeah, but her feet
were fine, bro.
Cute feet or decent feet?
Yeah.
You're Bill Gates.
You shouldn't be having
to put up with decent anything.
Yeah, you're true.
But like Bill Gates
don't believe he deserves pussy, bro.
He's a romantic.
That's what it is. He romantic he loves this girl he wants to
talk about you know hedge fund shit with her you know i don't know back to uh i don't want to bring
hillary into it but it is shocking that like this bitch does talk about believe all women this bitch
don't believe no women bro is there one woman that hillary clinton believes bro is there the ones who
voted for her just the ones who voted for her. Just the ones who voted for her. I don't even know
if she believes those bitches,
to be honest with you.
Yo.
It's unbelievable, dude.
Even women don't like her.
Yo, your husband was best friends
with a pedophile.
Yeah.
You're not going to question
that a little bit?
You're not even going to come out
and be like,
yo, he should have used
better judgment
than to hang out on an island
with a pedophile.
Yeah.
Even if he didn't fuck no girls,
just to go to the island a lot.
Or hang out with them.
There's no remorse whatsoever.
Even Trump came out and he was like,
I don't want to make this a fucking Trump thing.
But didn't he come out and be like,
nah, they were weird and some weird shit's about to happen to them?
He likes them young or something like that.
Didn't he say something weird is going to happen to them?
Yeah, he was like,
Epstein likes them young and Prince Andrew's hanging out with them and all happen to them? Yeah, he was like, yeah, Epstein, like some young,
and Prince Andrew's hanging out with him and all that shit.
Yeah, so he was like, yo, that's fat.
And then Trump is a wild-ass boy.
He also wished Ghislaine Maxwell well.
So like, I don't know, sarcastic.
I don't know.
Yo, free hers.
Free hers.
Yo, Ghislaine.
We were talking about that on the train.
Not the train, an the airport whatever that shit is
sky train sky train yeah you really just called a plane a train bro not a train
but like we're talking about that like yo is this how galane gets out
like if she feeds the feds bill is that a big enough name Bill, is that a big enough name? Bill Gates, is that a big enough name where we go, okay, Ghislaine, you can leave.
You can go scot-free.
Bill, I had this bitch killed, no problem.
You think, bro?
No problem.
Bill, I had this bitch killed and fucking Victoria's Secret guy, you can fear him.
Bill, I had that guy killed too.
Wexler, whatever his name is.
A Wexner.
Wexner.
Bill, I had everybody killed.
You think, bro?
If you're not Bezos, Bill Gates could get you.
You think, dude?
Elon Musk, Bill Gates could get you.
You two out here.
You think Bill Gates could get him?
Yeah.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Bill Gates might be able to get you, bro.
I'm not going to have some nerd kill me, bro.
He was casing you at the fucking win.
He probably was, son.
That's what he was doing.
He probably was, but I was casing him, too.
Oh.
I was casing him the whole time. You got to strike first. Yeah, I knew it. And I saw the way Melinda looked at me. I was like, oh, this bitch out of here, son. That's what he was doing. He probably was, but I was casing him, too. I was casing him the whole time.
You got to strike first.
Yeah, I knew it.
And I saw the way Melinda looked at me.
I was like, oh, this bitch out of here, man.
She was throwing me some serious eye contact.
Oh, yeah?
Melinda was looking over.
I checked out toes.
She was in some shitty-ass little Teva sandals.
Remember I told y'all she was in Teva sandals, right?
Yeah.
No.
I did.
I said she was in Teva sandals.
She was in some khakis down to here.
She had the khakis down to here.
The way I wear my pants.
I think you're describing your outfit from the last episode.
I think I was looking at me, bro.
I think I might have been looking at me.
Fuck, dude. I got caught again.
Nah, I don't know, man. This shit is wild.
What do y'all think about it?
I think she's just trying to make a case to justify
how much money she's going to ask for.
Because the bitch deserves nothing you
deserve nothing you got the freest ride of free rides you married the the richest man in the world
for 27 years and now he gotta pay you you bitch yo mckenzie was there from day one you hopped in
you got the fucking you lived in a mansion for 27 years your wildest fantasy is fulfilled he
fucks one ugly girl once a year.
That's all you get.
And you think you're going to come for some billions, bitch?
You greedy bitch.
How fucking dare you?
Leave Disneyland and then want to take the rides with you.
How fucking dare you?
You cunt.
I hate this bitch.
So now to justify her worth, she's got to be like, oh, he was a pedophile.
I had a problem with it.
No, you didn't, bitch.
That is true.
No, you didn't.
She didn't bring it up before.
Yeah.
Now all of a sudden it's a problem.
You can't divorce a guy right away when you find out he's a pedophile.
Two years it's got to take.
But it's also like.
I hate this bitch, yo.
How do you feel about it?
I violently hate this bitch so much.
Not to defend her, but like don't, wives always got a problem with like one of your friends.
You know what I mean?
Yes. You know what I mean? Yes.
You know what I'm saying?
It is true.
Every wife got a problem with one of her husband's friends.
You have to.
So maybe she was just like, all right, that's the guy I don't like you hanging out with.
I just would prefer if you didn't hang out with him.
You always do wild shit when you're with him.
He brings out the worst in you.
Yeah.
You know?
Like being a pedophile.
Like being a pedophile.
Like, why were you staying so late?
It was passing
girls' bedtimes, bro.
Like, you should've...
Bitch, you just found out
he a pedophile.
You married 27 years
and this just came up?
Yeah, it's convenient time.
You gotta be a little
embarrassed if you bring
Bill Gates to, like,
your island.
You know what I mean?
Like, because he's
probably got multiple islands.
Yeah, but he don't got
them kids on his island.
It's the attractions.
It's not the island.
Yeah, it's not the geography. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. yeah yeah yeah but island's not impressing bill gates like why else
would you go to bill gates go to the island no i don't think so no i ain't go to the fuck this
bitch yo yeah yeah yeah yeah i fucking hate her you need to have that i hear what you're saying
you wanted that same energy from her before yo yeah it's just she's gonna ask for a ridiculous amount of money is she gonna ask for
more than mckenzie bezos i promise percentage wise i don't know about percentage wise but i
think gross amount yes that's that's what i think and she's got to justify it somehow so let me take
the moral high ground of oh i didn't like him hanging out with epstein which is the easiest
fucking moral high ground to take even though you said nothing for years once you save that he's
starting the pr machine now what'd she say as soon as it came out they're getting divorced oh here's why but what i'm
trying to say is like once you hit him up like yo i want this amount and he's like you're wilding
and then she's like now you were wilding with epstein remember that even then 37 billion and
it's too much yeah the other reason why it seems convenient is that apparently she started filing
for divorce in 2019 after all the gates
stuff came out so she knew about it but she knew apparently she met with him what what what what
this is from axel hold on hold on hold on hold on from axios apparently uh the couple met epstein
in 2013 to discuss philanthropy so apparently they both met with him in 2013, according to Axios. Is philanthropy a black teenage girl?
They're trying to put her through school, bro.
That's foul, bro.
Why would they do that to philanthropy, bro?
Come on.
They were trying to help out charity, too.
Huh?
They were trying to help charity, also.
That's his sister?
Yeah.
Philanthropy and charity?
That's crazy, bro. Exactly. Yeah yeah the gates's were wild yeah these are some
wild people sons of bitches both of them are sons of bitches nah what do you call a girl
bitch dog there's no there's no daughter of a bitch nah yeah because that shit gets passed down
apple don't fall far from the tree you know know what I mean? I think I fucked up the delivery, but you know what I'm trying to say, though?
This apple-ass bitch right next to that bitch-ass tree.
But you can't say daughter of a bitch.
Nah.
Daughter of a bitch.
There's too many syllables.
Daughter of a bitch.
You can in Spanish say hija de puta.
Hijo de puta.
Hija de puta.
Son of a bitch.
Son of a bitch.
It sounded beautiful when you said it.
Daughter of a bitch in English?
Just a lot. Just a mouthful. What's another word you said it. Daughter of a bitch in English? Just a lot.
Just a mouthful.
What's another word for daughter?
Cunt.
Are we talking about Melinda still?
I hate this bitch, yo.
Come on.
I hate this bitch.
What about Bill?
Do you hate him?
I cannot wait.
I mean, I don't ever want you to get divorced, but if you do that podcast, go on slap, son.
Son, if y'all get divorced on a Sunday, let me tell you, Tuesday gonna be wild.
I don't ever want that to happen. I wish that never happened. I, Tuesday is going to be wild. For your reputation, that cannot happen.
I wish that never happened.
I don't believe that can happen.
For your reputation, it can't happen, bro.
Say what?
For his reputation, it can't happen because he's going to go wild.
Yo, he's going to go so fucking wild.
No, listen.
I didn't say nothing about Mackenzie because Mackenzie at least was there from jump.
This bitch married the richest man in the world and then she can act like she entitled to something.
You did nothing.
This was a moving train.
You caught a free ride.
That's my issue.
And now you're going to ask for money
and now take a moral high ground
and be the pedophile.
They began dating in 1987.
Come on, son.
Get the fuck out of here.
They began dating in 1987.
They did.
You made up a year.
According to CNET.
How do you have an ex-girlfriend
and he started dating this bitch in 1987?
Because he was dating her in 1986.
He didn't date no 80-year-old bitch
taking her on an island or whatever.
She's 70. He's lying. She's 70. you pulling a melinda right now is cnet lion yeah
70 bro are you can you just not believe that bill gates has two girlfriends
so that's what it is you're like look ready bill gates her name is this ann wimblad
is the ex-girlfriend 70 years old 40 years of experience in software industry
okay yep she she uh she got a little she looks a little bit like hey you guys 70 years old, 40 years of experience in software industry. Okay? Yep.
She looks a little bit
like, hey, you guys.
She got some hey, you guys
in her, bro. I'll be honest with you, dog.
She got some hey, you guys.
Berg Dowd or no?
Yeah, Johnson & Johnson. She definitely Johnson & Johnson.
All my heart. So Ann and
Bill began dating in 1984,
meeting at computer conferences okay they
began going on virtual dates calling each other on the phone went to a number of trips together
brazil a couple of virgins central africa i can go dude the virtual dates in the 80s is lit stayed
close after 1987 split gates had an arrangement with his wife that he and winblad can keep one
vacation tradition alive every spring done for more than a decade they
spent a long weekend with winblad and her beach cottage in north carolina it was a cottage oh
shit let's go spring breaking gates out here dogs okay now let me just ask you guys a question
this motherfucker knew what he needed to be the ideal husband to Melinda. He asked for it and he delivered.
Is that on Bill or is that on Melinda?
Everything's on Melinda, yo.
Everything's on Melinda.
Yo, Bill did nothing wrong.
Bill did nothing wrong except maybe
the XPC and stuff. I don't have evidence of that yet.
The jury is still out on that.
But that's it.
I think Melinda actually looks good in this.
That's because you stupid bro
You know what I'm saying
Dumbass little boy
Sit down little boy
Dumbass little boy
That's funny
Calls him a little boy
That's wild
It's grown men talking over here
That's wild bro
That she was able to be like
Yeah like go have your fun
Like you need this
But like be honest with what you're doing
Oh yeah yeah yeah
That was the least she could have done
One weekend a year
Greedy ass bitch
You get 51 weekends Of the richest man in the world bitch are you out of your mind
you get 98 of his weekends ho come on yo he gets one a month yeah you get 75 of bill but what if
he don't want to hang out with hey you guys once a month then he gets he got other other girls
that's once a year that's not how bill is bro bill would be into hey you guys he a month then he gets he got other other girls that's once a year that's not how bill
is bro bill would be into hey you guys he won't hang out all the goonies probably
i think she actually looks good i really do that's the only place where she looks good ever
including her face now melinda's all right i don't know what she looks like you are
i have no idea what she looks like quite frankly never looked at a picture
of her because why would i hear bill gates is why just fucking man in the world's wife looks like
hey you guys what am i missing wait what look look at hey you guys what am i missing that's
that's his mistress piece my side piece should be hotter well he got to get an ugly enough side
piece where his main piece could be like all right fuck that ugly bitch yep uh-huh all right you
can't fuck a batter this guy knows how to run a monopoly bro that's the whole thing
with the monopolies you can't make it too monopolistic you got to have some little
competition on the side so it doesn't look like a monopoly so you can keep running your shit
that's what he's doing this guy understands antitrust bro he broke the trust because
it's antitrust he knows it he knows it bro that was some word play right there
yeah it doesn't actually make sense you think about it
somebody's
auntie, old ass bitch. I'll tell you that much right now.
Alright, so
in conclusion.
My conclusion has been reached.
We know how you feel about this. Why do you feel different about Mackenzie?
Mackenzie was there from the jump
and she'd given all her
money away. You don't know what Melinda's doing.
She has a foundation. Because she knows she was charity. Hold on. on she has a foundation let me ask you this question don't worry about
foundation what what when did microsoft start let's find out if that should start in 1988
he was the richest man in the world when they got married no that's not true
yeah no that's not true you don't know that well it's more fun if it's not true until we find out okay all right i'm just trying to keep i don't believe 1987 so i don't know what fucking 4chan
website he's reading that off of 1975 they got married 1975 no no no sorry 1975 microsoft was
founded yeah oh so this is 12 years later yeah yeah bro oh no dude come on oh no get in there
all right get in there. Get in there.
Let her rip, Schultz. Hold on one second.
Let her rip.
Hold on, because I'm about to.
Hold on.
So he became the richest man in 1995.
And when did they get married?
They started dating in 1987.
When did they get married?
They got married in 1994.
Oh, that's a lie.
Alex?
No, that's true.
See?
Mm-hmm.
He was only the second richest man in the world
when they got married.
Start moonwalking.
Well, I gotta moonwalk too. Second place?
Bitch, man.
You married Elon Musk.
That's pretty fucking good. He number two.
We're dating in 1987.
That's a lie, dog.
That's some shit she said to make herself look good.
What woman do you know date fucking 12 years before you get married this girl is confident she's out here she's like yeah
he's been at microsoft 1987 bro in 1987 he was only worth 1.2 billion nothing nothing fucking
pockets bro that's pockets bro that's dust bunnies that's pockets yo this bitch married a billionaire
started dating a billionaire got lucky enough to marry him and then gonna act like she got some fucking moral high ground to get
money you get you get four hundred thousand dollars i'm being generous that is interesting
like what should a wife get wait do they have kids yeah they got four kids wait one of those
actually like i don't know what one of them what i don't know how old they are well let's
look at the ages let's look at the ages because you know mark be on the internet
get on a deep web buddy hold on let's get these little shouties up he got a female female kid bro
whoa hold on He got a female female kid
Look at that little bow-legged red-boned bitch right there, son. Hold on. How old is she? Hold on.
Hold on a minute.
Hold on a minute.
Come on, son.
Chill out.
Chill out.
That was so not you seven white friends. Come on, son. Chill out, chill out. That was so nice.
You said white princess.
Come on, son.
Chill out, yo.
Okay, hold on.
Give me the ages out.
Bust down these ages, bro.
You can find the ages.
Mark, tell us the goddamn ages.
Get off the table and tell us the ages.
I'm trying to wait time, so maybe it'll go.
Hold on.
Hold on.
18, 21, 25. Let's's go let's fucking go hold on which
one is which and bring them out again and i need to see instagram accounts i need to see instagram
accounts be assured with the red hair was looking kind of cute oh boy boy. I think we stumbled upon a gold mine.
I think we're going to fuck it up for all of us, bro.
That's what that bitch was saying in 1987 when she met Bill.
But still, you're going to fuck it up for all of us because you're hating on their mom so much.
Yeah, dude.
Come on, bro.
That could be an in-law of one of us.
Yo, Bill Gates produced some nice little pussy, bro.
When you think about it.
I'm leaving. Yo, come, when you think about it. I'm leaving.
Yo, come on.
Come on. Oh, my God.
Come on.
I'm wrong.
I'm wrong.
Bring it back up.
What's the OnlyFans?
Yo, yo, I need to know what Bill Gates' daughter's OnlyFans are right now.
Yeah, she's 25.
Oh, she be riding horses.
Ha!
You know what I mean?
Giddy up, giddy up, ginger.
Let's go, scroll it down, scroll it down.
Wait, is that her man's in the profile she's 25
she's 25 years old
hello how are you doing hey you real dog come on now come on now come on now come on now. Come on now. Oh, my God. Come on now. Come on now.
Oh, my God.
You don't see.
Hold on.
Go back to that with that medium.
Heavy.
Come on.
Come on now.
What's her name?
Jennifer?
Yeah.
Jennifer with that medium.
Heavy.
Come on, Al.
Al, you need to chill.
You need to chill Al That's just
Come on
That's Bill Gates
That's Bill Gates' daughter
Yo look at her mans
Yo
Your dad's a fucking creep
Your dad's a creep
Why is your dad a creep
Yo she only got
Oh
It's tall
And still
Come on now
Stop it
Stop it
Stop it
Scroll through
It's a carousel
Scroll through
Not your first Instagram
Come on
Keep it going
I'll keep it going
Scroll through
Whatever the fuck that means.
Turns out slideshows are lit, bro.
That shit is awesome.
That's autumn?
Yeah.
Come on, yo.
Yo, you're wild.
Al, look how young.
Al, chill.
Chill.
Al, Al, chill.
You a wild girl, bro.
I was a wild girl.
No, it's the red, bro.
Yo, you a wild girl, bro.
Why did you assume it was the other one?
That's messed up on you. Hey, hey, hey. You going too far down, bro. Al snitched on himself it's the red, bro. No, you're a wild girl, bro. Why did you assume it was the other one? That's messed up on you.
Hey, hey, hey.
You're going too far now, bro.
Al snitched on himself.
He was like, yo.
She's too young now.
Al, look at the year
of these pics, bro.
She's too young.
Come on, turn it off.
I'll be scrolling
into dangerous territory.
Come on.
You know what I'm saying?
I only had to scroll back
like three rows.
Come on.
Under 18.
She doesn't post a lot, okay?
She don't post a lot.
She's busy, bro.
That was the content.
Come on, we all
Randy over here.
Y'all knew that Bill
Gates was packing?
Y'all knew that Bill Gates and Melinda Gates was
packing? He's got the good seed, bro.
Real talk.
Come on, old
nerd-ass Bill Gates.
Got some daughters.
You know what I mean?
Got you in cocks.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I mean?
Oh, my God.
Come on, Bill Gates.
Got the pleated pants, bro.
Keep all that dick in there.
Keep all of it.
Yeah.
All of it.
And we got to show some respect to Melinda, bro.
You got to backtrack on what you said about Melinda.
I ain't backtracking nothing.
Yo, yo, yo.
I ain't backtracking nothing.
Yo, yo, watch your mouth.
I ain't backtracking nothing. Yo, yo, yo. I ain't backtracking nothing. Yo, yo, watch your mouth. I ain't backtracking nothing.
Yo, watch your mouth.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Hey, we, hey,
Mark brought up a good point
the other day.
Yes, I did.
We deserve an apology
from Facebook.
Mark Zuckerberg,
you little nerd.
Hey, listen up here, dork.
Put your fucking suntan lotion
all over your face.
You owe me
and you owe Mark
and you owe Alex Media
and you owe Dove
and you owe Efe and Robbie.
The people of the world.
The people of the world.
Akash probably also was helping us out on that.
You owe us an apology
for taking down our video
where we were critical of Bill Gates
hanging out with egg dick pedophile
Jeffrey Epstein.
We didn't even say anything crazy.
What did we say, Mark?
We said he hung out with egg dick pedophile Jeffrey Eprey epps we didn't even say anything crazy what did we say mark we said he hung out with egg dick pedophile and and and would you look at this i need you to take down
melinda gates instagram account now melinda is probably watching that episode being like yes
facts facts yeah yes she's probably supporting us hell yeah probably trying to slap cocks out
of her daughter so smoking hot so smoking hot so smoking hot oh do you think what that's that's why what he was
oh i see where mark is going wait wait now hold on mark hold on now i don't want to say we're
about to get taken down again say it say it we're about to get taken down medical misinformation
take it take it away mark take it away look yes i care about i care about stopping trafficking around the world
jeffrey epstein is a is a horrible man yes he is he's dead what is consent he's a horrible man he's
a horrible person but and bill gates yep like to spend time with jeffrey epstein okay bill gates
might be a bad person for that also i agree and and he also has children.
So what you think that- Maybe Jeffrey Epstein was meeting with Bill Gates.
To try to get his kids involved?
And maybe Bill Gates was trying to protect his kids.
So maybe we actually owe Bill an apology.
Oh my God, Mark, you done flipped it.
He stopped the floodgates.
Jeffrey Epstein was trying to get all up in there,
and he had to check him and go, yo, stop.
I don't support this take at all, son.
Wait, why?
I don't support this take one single bit. I thought that we were going all in. I thought goes he had to check him and go yo i don't support this take at all son wait why i don't support this take one single bit i thought that we were going all in we're
gonna have fun i went just crazy right now did you hear what i was saying the only way it's okay
for me to say that if her father is a pedophile i blacked out if her father's the victim of a
pedophile's you know crazy game to sexually imprison his daughters yeah all of a sudden
i'm one hell of an asshole guy
nah nah probably not oh god okay well shout out shout out to the gates yo yeah yeah i mean
each one of those kids getting getting 10 mil what do you mean each one of those kids is getting 10 mil. What do you mean? Each one of those kids is getting 10 million. That's it?
I mean.
Son, them kids are worth billions, bro.
They signed the giving pledge.
Giving that away.
No, but they're not really going to give it away.
They're going to give, like, they're going to keep all the stock and give that shit to the kids.
Them kids are billionaires for life, bro.
Yeah, I bet that shit is in PR.
Yeah.
She out here riding horses. You don't do that shit with no
measly 10 million yeah goofy ass want to be a doctor pockets fucking 10 million pockets bro
yeah pocket change that shit is pockets for them that's pocket that's lint yeah that's just pocket
that's all four dollars dust bunnies uh guys i think that's it is there anything else we need
to touch on before we're done i feel like we touched on a lot of things not as many all right
i was gonna i was gonna make another um bill gates dig but we don't know if he's actually Before we're done. I feel like we touched on a lot of things. Not as many. All right.
I was going to make another Bill Gates dig, but we don't know if he's actually touched on kids.
Yeah.
Probably hasn't.
He touched on a dude that touched on kids.
He definitely was friends with a dude that touched on kids.
But he also said that he doesn't have any relationship, professional or personal.
With whom?
With Jeffrey.
With Jeffrey.
So why were you at his house so mad late in the night?
You know what I mean? Was he? Yeah fact that's a fact yeah that's weird maybe melinda was right this whole time yo bitch didn't say nothing oh you right i'm back yeah yeah bitch said
nothing all of a sudden now she got a problem with it, bitch. Yeah. I hate her, dog.
Get off.
She did a little good in the world,
because you need to tell out.
What'd she do?
What'd she do?
Yeah, you know what she did.
You know what she did.
She squeezed out some tings, man.
She squeezed out some fucking tings bro malisandra one looking like
malisandra do you remember that from game of thrones a little redhead freak unit bro
melisandra malisandra whatever that redhead little freak was talking about you know what i mean
you trying to be the fire god oh shit you shit. You know she got some fire, dude.
She got some fire down there, dude.
You know what they call that shit?
That ginger box, bro?
What?
I think that.
I think they call it ginger box, bro.
Ginger box, man.
Ginger snaps? Ginger box, man.
She got that ginger snaps, bro.
The fireplace, bro.
Real talk.
Real talk.
Real talk, dude.
Just saying.
Just putting it out there. Just putting it out there.
Just put it out there.
You know what I mean?
You know?
Yo, just try to search that shit on Bing, bro.
See what Bing.
Yo, search his daughters on Bing.
If you Google Bill Gates' fame on Bing, it says no kids.
No kids whatsoever, bro.
Haters.
Haters.
All right, we're done with this episode
we love you we appreciate you
patreon.com slash flagrant2 you know we got
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we've been doing this cool thing over on
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captains sending in videos
for their questions and that
shit has been mad funny cause some of y'all
are wild ass boys which is not surprising
given a podcast you listen to so we will see you there patreon.com slash flagrant suit we love y'all we
appreciate y'all oh yes and reddit ama oh yeah we got a reddit ama today today matter of fact
at uh and i've already said this earlier in the podcast because we probably should yeah but i'm
reminding you once again we got a reddit ama today 12 till 2
right on reddit shouts of reddit eastern time eastern time okay so listen up fucking reddit
nerds come holler at us ask some questions we'll talk to y'all this is gonna be fun man
we're very appreciative of y'all because as much as y'all hate you also share our shit around the
world and uh it really gets the conversation going so
without you we wouldn't be what we are so you might have a contentious relationship at times
but there's a lot of gratitude there so we'll see you at that reddit ama once again we love y'all
we appreciate y'all peace