Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - How Netflix Got A Schulz Special
Episode Date: December 10, 2020This week Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia, and Mark discuss Andrew's new upcoming special with Netflix, Shia Labeouf, how pretending you're gay can get you chicks, why dating apps sometimes ain't it, Chris... Pratt's new and out there role, and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2 Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a choir then welcome to The Flagrancy.
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What's up everybody? Welcome to Flagrant 2.
My name is Andrew Schultz. I'm here with Aakash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon.
What's up?
Taylor's in the building. The on again, off again, fifth wheel of this podcast.
We're glad to have you back. Make sure you keep those notes on point though.
Okay, we need those notes on point, though. Okay?
We need those notes, Taylor.
Today's a big episode.
We got some big information we got to drop.
Big.
Netflix got a Schultz special.
Oh, shit.
Hey.
You know what I'm saying?
They landed the big fish.
Okay?
The bottlenose dolphin.
Is that the one with the biggest nose?
Yeah.
The Moby Dick.
Yeah.
We got Dove Mammon in the building, too.
You can't hear him because he doesn't have a mic, but we love him.
And we're going to tell you a story about all the things that happened to get us where we are today.
I'm absolutely fucking exhausted.
I know Alex Media is exhausted.
I know Mark Gagnon is exhausted. exhausted i know alex media is exhausted i know mark gagna is exhausted i know dove ma'am is exhausted uh we've been working our
ass off on this project and uh we're very excited to show it uh to all of you on the 17th man it's
going to be on netflix and i want to break records for the the watch list so make sure you add it to
your watch list and then tell them to let you know when it when it releases because uh yeah i think
that there's a little trick there
that we're going to use.
But, yeah, I'm so excited for you guys to see this, man.
We've been working so hard on this for the last three months.
Some of you guys knew we were up to something.
Charlamagne damn near said I was having a child.
My girl was getting all these DMs, right,
because somehow some of you psychos found my girl's Instagram.
She's getting these DMs.
She's hitting me, and she's like,
are we pregnant?
I'm getting all get any DMs, she hit me and she's like, are we pregnant? I'm getting all these
congratulations DMs.
I guess Charlamagne said
on Idiots
that I was pregnant.
That you're pregnant, yeah.
And then he goes,
no, I was just using it
as a metaphor.
And I listened back
and all he says was,
Charles is pregnant.
That's not a metaphor.
That's just saying
I'm fucking pregnant.
Bank account about to be pregnant.
Yes. The bank account. It's special. The bank account, all right pregnant. Bank account about to be pregnant. Yes.
The bank account.
It's special.
The bank account all right.
The bank account all right right now.
Shit might change a little bit.
But yeah, man, I'm just really excited.
And I'm very proud of this thing.
I can't wait for y'all to see it, man.
And I'm just so grateful for all y'all for watching the monologues we've been doing.
Basically, what we did is our weekly monologues.
We did as a four-part, hour-long special that's a year-end review
essentially is tapping into four of the biggest most divisive events of this year and obviously
coronavirus we got conspiracy theories black lives matter and of course a nation divided so
I'm just so excited to see this man and for you guys to see it and I understand I was saying this
earlier but I understand that like,
I'm going to get the credit for this,
obviously,
because I'm the leader of the band,
if you will,
I'm the lead singer.
But this was a monumental effort
by so many other people.
You know,
first of all,
I got to congratulate Mark.
Mark is a co-creator of this show,
man.
He wrote it.
Hell yeah.
And this is a big move.
He did an absolutely great job,
not only during this show,
but also the 17 weeks that you put in
before you fucking killed it, you grind it.
I'm so proud of you, and you murdered it, man.
I'm so grateful to have you part of it.
Alex Media made his directorial debut, okay?
That's right.
Let's go.
That's right, and you absolutely murdered it, man.
I was so proud of you.
You stepped up to the occasion.
You were too confident.
You were too confident. I thought you were going to be
insecure. I thought you were going to be
nervous telling people what to do.
But Alex was back there, man. He was just snapping
at motherfuckers, telling them where to be,
what angles he wanted. I was
so impressed. I'm glad you guys
think that because inside I was
nervous. Really? I was nervous.
Honestly, what I say
after the first shoot date, I even said to you, I was like, man,
you were so confident back there.
You really rose to the occasion.
That's what's up, man.
I was nervous.
I was so great.
That's funny.
The biggest set I've been on.
Al didn't know all the lingo, but he knew exactly what he wanted.
Yeah.
So he was just telling them all the first to do shit, just being like, yeah, make it
more like this way.
Yeah.
And they were like, all right.
Yeah, that's how we communicate.
That's a New York thing.
Mark don't understand
you gotta speak to Mark
like Alexa
you know what I mean
like you can't
like if you got
Mark don't understand it
unless you ask
a very specific
what is the weather today
but if you go
what's it like outside
he'll be like
I missed that
we got a civil unrest
actually
now that you mention it
but also
I gotta
I gotta congratulate Dub, man.
Dub, yo.
Dub is my first friend that I ever made in college.
He's one of my best friends in the world, and he'd been working in entertainment, you
know, toiling in obscurity for years, and I thought that we should save him by bringing
him on to this product.
No, in all seriousness, he's an absolutely brilliant guy, and I knew when we were younger
we were going to do something together.
You know, when we were in college, we were thinking about doing a radio show together and then we
realized we had to be up at 3 a.m to do that shit and we're like nah we'd rather be fingering chicks
but uh but for real we always knew we were gonna do something and he went on to great things in
hollywood and the second i had this opportunity i was like we need him here and he was an integral
part in uh not only getting this done but giving giving us so much Jewish anxiety that it's unbelievable, dude.
Dude, I don't know how you are not shredded from stress.
He lives in this.
Dude, it's unbelievable.
He's comfy in the fire.
This guy will find problems you didn't even know existed.
It's like a fucking cloud around him.
It's a gravitational pull, bro.
It's a gravitational pull it was unbelievable so uh so yeah so everything was
going great until akash shut the whole thing down with corona it was i sure did dude literally
things the first shoot we were all so proud of it we're like oh this is going great we're all
ahead of schedule we get the writing down everything is great then akash gives me a text
he's like yo man I got corona yeah man and
and I'm the type of guy and I mean this sincerely and this is something that before this really
tested me because I'm the type of guy that's like everything happens for a reason but I don't mean
that in like a corny sense like you know when a child gets cancer or whatever like that obviously
it doesn't happen for a fucking reason but like my mentality on life is that if you I consider
myself a problem solver so it's like if you look
at everything in front of you and figure out how you can you know problem solve and use it to your
advantage you'll start to believe that things are happening for you that there's some greater power
out there looking out for you when in reality you're creating your luck by taking whatever
circumstances you've been given and making the best out of them right it was hard for me to get there when you did that shit bro and you gave us corona bro i needed a good three days dude i was like what is
the lesson here what how do i learn from this right yeah what and man i was so angry and it
was so unfair because you didn't want to give us corona bro those were physically corona didn't affect me emotionally emotionally
the darkest week and a half of my life i gave it to the people i work with the most who are
working on the biggest project of their lives i don't and you also don't know who got what until
their test i saw my in-laws the day before one of them is in his 60s i'm freaking the fuck out like
did i fucking is this guy gonna get corona loquito
that's a power move right there i'm the only daddy now no bro and then fucking when we did
history hyenas i gave i might have given it to them and de stefano was like i know what you're
gonna do you're gonna let shawls become emperor and then you're gonna take him out and i'm like what the fuck just happened no he said that i thought about probably left some fucking
corona potion on the seat or something i thought about every single thing that happened on sunday
and monday before i got my test that's all you're doing for five days when you're waiting for
everybody to get the results so i come in monday feeling fucking fantastic do a podcast with the
hyenas it's great. Go home that night.
Feel fine.
Tuesday, the next day,
afternoon,
I start feeling like
a little body aching shit.
Yeah.
But I just worked out
really hard the day before.
He felt fine Monday, Giannis.
Yes.
That's important to know.
Giannis is going around
spreading his fucking lie
that Akash felt sick
and still came into
the fucking studio.
I would never in my fucking life.
But also, not only,
let's say you didn't care about Giannis
or Chris getting it.
You're not going to walk in the studio
where we're creating the Netflix special, right?
And then infect everybody and shut that down.
Also, you're asthmatic.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you have corona, you're terrified.
You should be dead.
If I saw my in-law Sunday and thought I was sick Monday, I'm not, yeah. Like, if you have corona, you're terrified. You should be dead. If I saw my in-laws Sunday
and thought I was sick Monday,
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm freaking the fuck out
that they're okay.
Yeah.
And Monday, I'm like,
yo, guys, I cannot go outside.
I'm gonna kill everybody.
But I understand where
Yann's coming from
because when you get so angry...
And he got sick.
Yeah, yeah, he got sick.
Yannis is still sick.
Yeah, I feel terrible about that.
I tried to send a doctor out to him.
That motherfucker lives
in Sleepy Hollow.
Literally, I'm like, all right, I'm gonna get a doctor to just go check on you, bro.
And I go, when I say that, that means I'm going to ask Dove to do it.
So I go, I got you.
And then I just did a group text.
He got you.
And Dove was trying to get someone over there.
And Dove is a convincing ass motherfucker.
Yeah.
Okay?
He couldn't get nobody to go up to where Giannis lives, bro.
Giannis lives deep
and these nurses
are running around the city
just poking noses.
Well, he had to go
to the hospital
so he got all the doctors
he needed.
Wait, did he have to go?
A fish?
Diarrhea, dehydration.
I don't know.
They'll probably say it.
Yo, I'll be honest with you, yo.
That dehydration shit
is mad pussy, bro.
Drink some water, bros.
It's right there.
You're not dehydrated in the desert have a fruit hydrated
in westchester that's it drink some water that's it wait isn't that all you gotta do for dehydration
or is there another thing i think you're shitting so much there's nothing you can do you're like
losing electrolytes going to shower electrolytes and like losing electrolytes but can't you just keep drinking as much as you should
I know this because it's happened to me
I've had to go to the hospital
but corona didn't affect me that badly
so Giannis you mad pussy
I'm kidding
I'm compensating because I feel fucking horrible
Akash felt so bad
because he really infected half of the New York
comedy scene
the next day New York comedy scene. Bruh, I, oh my God. The next day, New York comedy legend, comedy legend in general, right?
Colin Quinn, absolutely brilliant comic, goes on Chris and Giannis' podcast, right?
And they fucking bullied him to get him over there by saying, come on, bro, come out to
Brooklyn.
We're going to have some pizza.
And Colin's like a sucker for like real New York pizza.
He's a real New York guy.
You know what I mean?
I think Colin grew up in Brooklyn, actually not far from there.
He's like, yeah, we can get pizza
from Yamity Yamity's
or whatever the fuck's
some Italian shit.
And Colin's like, all right, fine.
I can't turn down pizza, right?
And he goes out there.
They don't even have the pizza.
This pizza's like being delivered
while they're doing the podcast
while he's just snorting Corona
for an hour and a half, right?
But Colin had a heart attack recently.
It's bad news. Son. Bro, when I call Colin, Colin had a heart attack recently is bad news.
Son,
bro.
When I call Colin,
he's feeling sick.
He goes,
he goes,
yeah,
I heard your cohost.
Uh,
I had your cohost went on to the podcast sick knowingly.
And I'm like,
no,
he didn't go.
What are you talking about?
And I'm a fan of Colin to this.
I was like,
dog,
that being said,
I do think it'd be absolutely hilarious that like an Indian dude would be
taking white people out of the virus.
On Thanksgiving.
Yeah, on Thanksgiving.
That's a really funny tweet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Really funny tweet.
Dude, I got a call from Rogan.
He was like, yo, I heard your co-host went on the podcast.
Sick, blah, blah, blah.
That's when I reached out to you and I was like, yo, go talk to Giannis.
He's having like hallucinations about what happened.
But thank God Colin's okay.
Yeah.
I hope he didn't give it to more people.
I texted Colin to apologize
and whatever.
He was super understanding,
super nice.
No, he wasn't.
I felt bad for Akash, man.
This motherfucker was hitting me up
like three, four times a day
just making sure I wasn't
still alive and shit like that.
You didn't even tell me
you had pneumonia, son.
I would have told you
I could put you with somebody.
Because my dumb ass,
I tried to fucking sweat it out. I was like, I ain't taking no meds. I'm just going to sweat this shit out. I would have told you. I can put you with somebody. Because my dumb ass, I tried to fucking sweat it out.
I was like, I ain't taking no meds.
I'm just going to sweat this shit out.
I was just getting worse and worse and worse.
I swear to God.
I checked on Colin, right?
I'm just checking on him.
He's like, no, everything's okay.
And then all of a sudden, I get this text from him.
It was a picture.
And it was a Google search.
And in the Google search, it says, Akash, name meaning in English.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
He texted me this.
And then the meaning is, boy, Hindu, Indian.
From the Sanskrit, Akash meaning upper sky or ether.
Akash Ganga is the name of the skydiving team in the Indian Air Force.
Oh, my God, bro.
And then Air Force.
And the next thing he texts me is airborne
explanation
point
explanation
point
explanation
yo it's destiny bro
it really was
dang
anyway
so um
Akash gets us all corona
we gotta shut down
the fucking production
yeah buddy
now
this is a review
not the review
but we are
touching on
the four most
divisive topics
of 2020
yeah you can't put
that out after 2020 after 2020 it's over nothing you got to address it in 2020 right so we're all
terrified we're like oh my god is this gonna be pushed back are we gonna get back sooner i got
iv docs coming to my fucking house every day jamming syringes in my arm trying to get this
corona out of my system i don't know exactly i'm on the phone with rogan trying to get regeneron right he's like i might have a connect
i'm gonna see if i can get you something i'm taking pills vitamin d all the fucking time i'm
freaking out um mark swears he didn't have any symptoms at all yeah do you know what i mean
because he always fronts like he don't get sick i've never been sick before exactly never been sick al is damn near dead uh damn near dead so here's the thing all of us are terrified that we're gonna give it to
our girls as well yeah oh yeah i thought all this through yeah none of our girls got corona
power of the pussy power with the pussy i wasn't in that pussy
i was quarantined from that but how the fuck my girl
not get corona bro yeah that's kind of that's a little suspect it's a little beta male yeah
it's a little that's a little beta that's how i felt i mean we were together we were like making
out i mean i'm relieved to hear this to be honest what did yours get it mine got it not as bad as
me she lost smell for a little bit
oh by the way i just want to point out i did i tell you when i lost uh smell and taste yes you
did yeah what the night before thanksgiving oh no no it was the morning but did the night the
morning of the day before but i tell you how i found out no i was eating my girl's pussy
i was eating my girl's pussy and I swear
it sounds like a hack joke
I actually told
Neil Brennan this
and then
Neil Brennan goes
first time she ever came
no but
you said ham in it
I'm literally
going down there
and the reason
I went down
I went down immediately
because I'm so stressed out
whether or not
we're going to be able
to do this shit
or not
I don't know
what the fuck
is going down
so I'm so stressed out
I'm like
are we going to
do this shit meaning make the Netflix special right I'm like not have sex I. I don't know what the fuck is going down. So I'm so stressed out. I'm like, are we going to do this shit, meaning make the Netflix
special, right? I'm like,
not have sex. I knew I wasn't
going to be able to do that. So I was like, let me satisfy
my girl. I can't, you know, let's make
the other time. I go down, bro, and I'm going after
it and I'm licking away, right? And I'm
just like, this weird, like
where's the flavor?
You know what I mean? Like, usually
there's some flavor.
If you get out there, you in that prime rib.
You know what I'm saying?
But there was no flavors.
And I was like, that's odd.
This is just so odd.
You know, she's been sleeping the whole night marinating.
And then what, dude?
She's marinating the whole night.
You get that morning.
Y'all never let it marinate overnight. Wait, so you just gave her head and then went to sleep?
Yo, no.
I went down there to try to get that hot box.
She'd been under the duvet.
Stop.
Do you know what I mean?
And I'm trying to get that hot box.
I'm trying to lick them pennies.
You know what I'm saying?
So I'm out there.
I'm out there trying to get my change purse on.
And I'm licking.
And it's nothing.
It tastes like zero.
It doesn't taste good.
It doesn't taste bad. It doesn't taste bad.
It tastes nothing.
And in that moment, I literally get so fucking scared because I'm like, oh, my God, what's going to happen?
Is this going to push things back even more?
I go limp.
Right?
Now, I'm terrified that I go limp.
So I'm starting to hump the bed, see if I can get my pink heart.
Yo!
You're like a horny dog.
Like a horny dog trying to get my pink stick out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I try to get that pink heart. You're like a horny dog. Like a horny dog trying to get my pink
stick out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I
try to get that pink stick. What?
I don't know what was going on. I was going through a lot. I felt like
Duff on a Tuesday. Yeah.
Lipstickin'. This is Duff's every
Tuesday. Just straight paranoid.
The second Duff wakes up like this,
just starts humping the bed right away.
First thing. So, I
go. I get up. When I go, I get up.
When I realize, I get up, I run into the kitchen.
I grab the dried cherries because I'm like, what's going to have a flavor?
Chew, chew, chew, nothing.
I open up the fridge, olives.
Chew, chew, chew, nothing.
I'm like, oh, fucking boy.
I go out.
She brings a candle.
I can't smell anything.
Literally, right after that, she starts preparing Thanksgiving dinner.
I think it was that day or the next day.
And I'm like, this motherfucker is piling on, bro.
Did you finish the job, though?
Nah.
Come on, bro.
No, I haven't, bro.
No, I haven't.
And I really should have, bro.
Yeah, what's wrong with you?
I should have ate that stank, too.
I should have went after that. He said, no, I haven't, And I really should have. Yeah, what's wrong with you? I should have ate that stank, too. I should have went after that.
He said, no, I haven't, meaning still.
Like, to this day.
No, I got to get back down there and finish that meal.
You know what I'm saying, Taylor?
Yeah.
Save game, dude.
Save game.
That's how it goes.
At least she's satisfied.
You made her come?
Say what?
Do you make her come?
No, I'm working on that, you know.
You got to save something for marriage.
Did you finger her or something?
Say what?
Did I finger her?
No, I didn't.
I was terrified. You don don't so you just lick
i licked it you licked it but you're terrified to finger her while licking it no i was terrified of
the special we were shooting and not being able to complete it because of corona and i understand
that but you said that never mind yeah we good. Taylor, how do you eat pussy?
With your fingers?
I don't eat pussy.
You have once.
You said you had once.
No, I haven't.
Someone ate me out.
Gay.
Gay.
Gay.
Gay.
But.
She did that shit like a dude.
Yeah, you did.
Like, nah, nah, I don't get fucked.
I fuck dudes.
Yeah.
I got top.
Yeah.
I got that toppy sloppy.
Did you grab her hair and push that shit forward?
Yeah.
That's it.
You did.
You fucking beast.
Yo, Taylor's a bully, bro.
Stop getting that pussy ape bully style.
That's crazy you did that.
Did you rip off the wig?
No, she was.
I ate her.
She was Spanish.
She was?
Yeah. She had that good hair huh rolling ours bro
that's how much people love eating pussies even the women are just like nah i'll do it i don't
you really happy a spanish girl went down on you, huh? It wasn't good. I left.
Why wasn't it good?
I don't know.
What?
I was high and I was completely.
You think maybe you don't like women.
I was surprised by what was going on too, though.
So that's why.
Wait, did you know about it?
Was this some Cosby situation or like what's going on?
I told you I had it.
Are you describing something horrible right now?
Is this an assault?
Yeah.
I don't know how to handle this because it's a woman with a woman.
So I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's still rape.
Yeah, what is that?
That's just yoga.
Yoga.
That's hot yoga.
You know when they come up to you
and they're like,
lean a little deeper
into this pose.
She was getting fucked
while she was eating me out.
Oh, that's why I wasn't good.
It's like the jackhammer.
You're distracted, yo.
I didn't like it.
That's multitasking.
You can't multitask like that.
I don't know. She's probably just banging her't multitask like that i don't know she's
probably just banging her nose up against it that's how i eat the bus
real talk that's the best way anyway so our guys gave us all corona gave the new york comedy scene
corona and uh i never got corona for the record yes you did you definitely got i never got corona
either you didn't get corona no dove didn't get corona al got it mark i tested positive for corona but i never you thought
it was i gave it to the three i never got it i gave it to everyone i do the podcast with and
also the three most important people for your special yeah yeah like the three most integral
people got it and then everybody else like yeah you could be quarantined and be fine and they
didn't get it they didn't get it that's right holy shit yeah oh my god i had nothing to do but think about this
guys this all crossed my mind it was like pure sabotage oh it was unbelievable every and then
every time i would start to mentally be like it's gonna be all right don't worry about it i would
get some other news even andrew losing taste and smell was like oh it sucks fuck whatever it'll be
all right then it's like yo or did you know you were sick fucking rogan is texting me and i'm just like yo
every time i'm like all right here's daylight we're out of the shit storm i would get something
else it's just like oh here's another thing that you're gonna be feeling like shit about for about
72 hours i don't want to tell you this because i want to just stay in this like moment where we
make you feel absolutely horrible about this but i love you too much so i can't just tell us don't tell him no no no uh it actually i think
helped us in the law in the in the grand scheme of things in the moment we would have never been
able to tell but having that extra time allowed us to like analyze certain scripts make more images
and like really look at the flow of the content
in a way that we wouldn't have been able to because of shooting schedule so when i say
everything happens for a reason this might have been the reason that it actually happened i will
say this thank fucking god you did not come to the engagement dinner yeah because you would have
killed my parents yeah you couldn't come remember he
couldn't come to the engagement dinner because it was on diwali yeah it was on diwali and um
bro i mean imagine though diwali saved it bro yo yo thank god thank god who do we praise for
that one for all of them all of them you, there's just a holiday for all the gods?
No, there's not. Cheap Indian motherfuckers
going out here
dishing out holidays, bro?
Making a bogo?
Come on, dude.
Come on, man.
No, I'm just saying
thank God in general at work,
but there's holidays for Ram.
Oh, it's thank Ram, bro.
Yeah.
Well, look, man.
It's a wild time.
I'm very excited
for you guys to see this, man.
I'm very grateful.
Sorry, assholes.
It's all my fault.
But we back, yo.
Assholes, we back, bro.
We back.
You know we're not leaving you unless it was something that was out of our control.
And this was out of our control.
But fucking A, man.
It's good to be back.
We worked our asses on this, man.
We fucking bled on this.
I'm telling you.
Left it all on the table.
I saw them grinding.
It was unreal.
Yeah.
Just fucking nonstop.
Even Robbie and F.A. I'm sorry. I got to make sure. Did I compliment? Robbie. It was unreal. Like, just fucking nonstop.
Even Robbie and F.A. I'm sorry.
I got to make sure.
Did I compliment?
Robbie and F.A., I don't know if you said that.
Yeah, that's what I was about to say.
But I complimented you, Dov, on this version of it?
You did, Dov, yeah.
Okay.
Because we recorded earlier, but there was a problem with one of the cameras.
And I also want to compliment and just thank Robbie Slovic, a hilarious comic that wrote on the show with us.
And also F.A. Ilgai, who's never written comedy in his life, just jumped on board.
And he absolutely killed it, man.
He was so helpful.
And there's a million other people we need to thank.
Yo, actually, I really want to thank this one guy who is an editor on this, John Raffinelli.
Yo, legend.
Exactly.
This guy's a fucking legend.
Thank you so much, John.
We're going to steal you from Jax Media,
the production company that works with us.
There's going to be another time
where I actually thank everybody.
So I don't want people thinking
that I'm not being thankful for you right now.
We're going to really go through the official one,
but I just needed to shout those specific people out.
And then two other people out.
I got to shout out Justin Bieber.
Justin Bieber shared my stuff.
He shares my stuff with a lot of people, man.
He's a fucking great guy for that.
Love the Biebs, yo.
Love the Biebs.
Shout out to the Biebs.
But also Scooter Braun, because Justin shared this with Scooter.
And Scooter and I started talking and figuring out what we wanted to potentially do with this.
And that dude is legit, man.
I will give credit where credit is due.
That motherfucker is legit at what he does. There's a lot of useless managers and agents out there. legit, man. I will give credit where credit is due. That motherfucker is legit at what he does.
There's a lot of useless managers and agents out there.
Yeah, mostly.
Most of them.
But that guy is skilled and talented, and he is where he is for a reason.
He moves the world.
Facts.
Facts.
Facts.
So, yeah, we're very excited about this, man.
I cannot even begin.
We're going to tell you more about it in the time that comes,
but I cannot even begin to tell you how many little things are in this special.
Little jokes that only the assholes will get.
Little things that are in pictures that only the assholes will get.
You know what I mean?
I mean, there's so many tiny little things in here.
There's not a single person on the planet that will be able to get every single joke that's in this special.
There's a lot.
If you were to guess, how many do you think?
How many jokes do you think?
In the whole thing? Yeah. I was trying to calculate that really yeah if you count the jokes that are in the pictures yeah thousands yeah i mean it's dude there's no way you could get every single
one of it i literally think it's gonna be like uh you know like a jay-z album where you listen
to it again and you're like oh he said that yeah you know or like one of those movies like a Jay-Z album where you listen to it again and you're like, oh, he said that. You know, or like one of those movies, like a Nolan movie where you like watch it for the second time.
You're like, oh, that happened.
Like I literally think you're going to you could watch each episode four times and you probably won't get every single joke,
every single switch in the picture.
Like so many of us are in the pictures.
Obviously, you're going to notice, you know, us, but you'll notice, I mean, Akash might
even be, you know, in some stuff.
You never know.
I wonder which episode.
You know what I mean?
You never know, bro.
You never know.
It's also really cool because, like, projects like these, a lot of times, like, people will
just bring on a bunch of people to, like, do all the stuff.
You know, like, you'll bring in, like, directors, bring in editors, whatever.
But, like, for this project, it was us in this room that did what the whole thing 95 i'm being honest it really was and
like i wouldn't have it any other way because at the end of the day for for this project i want to
be able i i know that we put out the exact thing we want to put out you know what i mean like it's
different when you put out a project and you're like well this is what they let me this is what we want to do there's nothing in this project that
we didn't want to do we hired a production company uh jacks media and uh shouts out to them man they
handled you know the legal the paying for stuff but they also had some great staff over there as
well and um and all the picture editors killed it the picture editors killed it. The picture editors killed it. And shout to Miles McCreary, man.
I cannot even begin to tell you, man, I put my faith in people that are talented.
There's one thing I'll compliment myself on, and there's a lot more than one.
But if there's one, I can recognize talent, bro.
And I'll be honest, I really believe that in myself.
And I mean that.
And the first thing I look for is competence in human beings.
And I saw it with Alex when we first started working together.
And I was like, yeah, he don't know how to fucking edit, but he'll learn.
You know what I mean?
He'll figure it out.
The first thing you sent me was shit.
Do you remember it?
Yeah.
It was horrible.
But I was like, but he will learn how to do it.
What was it?
It was horrible, dude. It was so bad.
It was so bad.
You know what?
But it was like you were doing the joke of the day or some shit like that.
And he kind of animated the joke of the day.
He added pictures in.
It was almost like this.
Low key?
Oh, that's cool.
Oh, shit.
I created this shit.
I'll be honest with you.
This show I did a long time ago with my brother.
Oh, really?
This American Hype.
It's called This American Hype.
There's still some episodes that are up there.
When I first reached out to you via DM, I was asking you to bring that shit back because I actually liked that episode.
It was a great show.
It took a lot of time.
And shout out to my brother, Greg, man.
But I just, yeah, bring this back.
Also, we got to give a shout out to Bill Maher.
Bill Maher is the reason why we started doing these monologues.
He did a monologue about why it wasn't racist to
call it the China virus. And so many people were sending me this thing around and I'd had this
thought for a while, but I was like, oh, people really need an explanation for their feeling
that is not politically correct. They feel it. They just don't know how to articulate in a way
that won't be costly at their job, in their social etc and i remember i hit up mark and i was like yeah we you see this thing we can do this 10 times
better and just to build more we give them a shout out in the special bro there's so many shots bro
it's just so crazy bro and um it's so crazy i can't give away too much but it's so crazy seeing the people
in real life
that we give shots to
because I've interacted
with them kind of
some people
and
can you name any?
yeah the guy Dale
from The Bachelorette
which one is Dale?
he's the most recent season
I'm acting like
you don't watch The Bachelorette
you fucking
I'm asking which one is he because I'm trying to think he's the guy who just won he won it well not a girl
stopped the season oh that guy yeah i'm glad you gave him a shot fuck that guy cornball ass yeah
we gotta do bachelorette recaps out there oh we got it all planned so um but yeah man it's just it's just
so much fun yeah that's another cool thing about equal opportunity yeah i mean like everybody gonna
get these jokes jokes everywhere and when we say everybody we mean everybody okay uh i'm just
excited for y'all to see it man i'm so proud of it we're just watching it down how do you guys feel
man how was your experience with it?
I haven't taken it all in yet.
Yo, Al really had no clue what the schedules were. It's amazing. We were making fun
of him last night about this shit. This guy was so
removed from like what
was going on. Cause y'all get stressed
and shit like that. Not me.
Mark be getting stressed. You let them get you
stressed. Mark get me stressed
cause he's asking me the same fucking question over and over again.
What happens if we don't get it by two?
I go, well, then they'll get it when we get it.
Because we have dates that you have to hit.
Or that they give you dates and then we move those dates.
I'm going to be honest.
From the outside, I've always felt the opposite.
I always felt like Mark was just living.
Oh, nah.
You should have seen it.
This motherfucker was stressed.
How would you know? You've been sick with Corona for three fucking weeks. I said from the opposite. It always felt like Mark was just living. Oh, nah. You should have seen it. This motherfucker was stressed. How would you know?
You've been sick with Corona
for three fucking weeks.
I said from the outside.
There's rules to life, okay?
Nah, there is.
Nah, fuck that.
This guy,
he asked me the same fucking question
four times in a row.
So what happens if we do it?
It's like, bro,
they're going to get it
when they fucking get it.
It's the Ten Commandments.
What about them?
Thou shalt meet deadlines?
What commandment is that?
Yeah, when you're raised
with strict deadlines and rules
that are written out,
you got to obey them.
You know?
I don't know what this excuse
that he's making is right now, bro.
He's trying to come up the closet.
Yeah, I have no fucking clue.
Anyway, Al didn't even know
how to use the editing system
that we edited on
eight days before
the fucking thing started.
Okay?
Al edits in Final Cut Pro. Yeah, like a 14-year-old.
Premiere is the professional program.
It'd still be fire.
I know.
It'd still be fire.
It'd still be fire.
But now we got to edit, right?
I even told him this months before we started this.
I was like, you have to start learning Premiere.
I will pay for you to take classes in Premiere.
And then he came to me once.
He was like, nah, you could just do it on Final Cut,
and then there's a codec,
or he said some word,
I don't know what the fuck it meant,
and then he goes,
we'll just transfer it over to Premiere,
and I go,
alright,
even though I knew it wasn't alright.
Nah,
there's really a system that you can do.
I know,
but it's not going to allow the other guys
to work with it too.
So then I go,
Al,
did you learn how to do it?
He goes,
nah,
I got it.
Every once in a while,
I pop into edit,
and this guy on one screen
has YouTube tutorials up.
He thinks I don't know
what it says,
YouTube tutorials.
The YouTube tutorials,
how do you separate audio video?
I was like,
we're not going to finish this special.
Right?
Thank God I didn't tell Mark
or fucking...
That's why he had to bait by himself
because he got to learn from here.
Real talk.
If Dove didn't know about this,
forget it, bro.
Forget it, bro.
He'd be spinning like a dreidel, dude.
I swear to God.
He just loses fucking mind.
Tasmanian devil. That's what Juv is.
He's a Jewish Tasmanian.
What's that?
Premier is easier than Final Cut, though.
Nah, Final Cut is mad easy. Premier is
fucking tricky, bro.
No, it's not.
I'm talking shit like I know either one.
I was about to say, how do you even know?
I was taught on Final Cut Pro first, and then once going into radio, I learned Premiere,
and then Premiere was much easier for me than Final Cut.
I got to make a real quick announcement.
My bad.
We're going to get back to this.
Shouts to everybody.
I don't think we need to get back to this.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
Yo, shouts to everybody that caught the newest season uh season of fashion okay um we already got the cease and desist for nike
from the uh sweatshirt that i'm wearing right now we just want to say thank you nike for letting us
do that now here's the thing um i gotta be honest with y'all the fashion we basically, how do I explain this? Uh, we basically forced our supplier to keep the store
open after it was sold out because I wanted everybody who listened to the podcast to get
a chance to do it. So we bought a certain amount of garments to make sure we can do it. Those sold
that actually first day, but I was like, listen, there's no pod. We can't get on the pod, but we
got to let the people who listen to the pod
regularly that might not follow me on Instagram, might not even
see the Instagram post be able to do it.
We're letting you guys do it. It probably won't be
up past this week. I know it's, what, Wednesday
when this comes out, Wednesday night. I don't think it'll be up
past. We're going to let people and idiots do it
maybe Saturday, maybe
the latest Sunday. I don't know.
Fashion.shop. Go get that shit.
It's probably going to be gone by then,
but we wanted to let the assholes go out there
and get their this season's worth.
If you already got the Just Do It Yourself tee,
you have a collector's item, okay?
Never to be sold again without a lawsuit.
So fashion.shop.
Go check that out, man.
Thank you all so much for supporting.
Now back to the show.
What was it?
What were we talking about?
Nothing.
Anyway, was there anybody else?
I know we got to thank a lot of people over at Jax
and a lot of people.
And we recorded something earlier,
so I feel bad if I said thank you to someone that I forgot.
No, I don't think so.
But just the immediate team?
Yeah.
Well, if we forgot about you,
we will hit you on a later date, man.
But thank you all so much.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second.
Man, stop being bald. Stop going bald. Take care of yourself, fellas, ladies,
if your boyfriend, your husband, your side dude is starting to go bald, just tell him. It's gonna
be painful for him to hear it first. But the reality is, it's a choice now. You do not have
to lose your hair, okay? You can take keeps. You can do what I've been doing for the last 10 years.
You look at me, I'm absolutely gorgeous out here with this full head of hair.
It's because I got ahead of it early on.
I was like, yo, I might be losing a little bit.
And I got on the pills that made the hair grow.
Okay, I actually got growth back.
Okay, you could do it with keeps.
This is that simple.
There's one way to tell if you're a dude and you're aging well, and that is if you have a full head of hair.
So you go to keeps.com, okay, slash flagrant.
Make sure it's slash flagrant.
Keeps.com slash flagrant, and you will receive your first month of treatment for free.
That's K-E-E-P-S dot com slash flagrant.
I'm telling you, this is a no-brainer, okay?
You get ahead of it early, fellas.
Don't lie to yourself.
A lot of dudes lie to themselves, and then it's too late. You don't want to be too late. Get ahead of it early, fellas. Don't lie to yourself. A lot of dudes lie to themselves and then it's too late.
You don't want to be too late.
Get ahead of it early.
Keep that hair.
And let's get back to the show.
And back to the show.
A lot to talk about.
Lots to talk about.
Lots to talk about.
A lot of things have happened.
Where do we begin, man?
Where do you want to begin?
Topics?
Topics, right.
We could talk about Jake Paul.
That's where I think we should start.
I feel like that's for you.
That brings all your worlds together.
Bro, how unplugged do you feel from the world?
With this late?
No, just after the fucking past three weeks or four weeks.
I don't even know anything that's happened.
I'm reading some of these stories.
I'm like, that happened?
Yeah.
Where was I?
I don't know shit.
I still don't know what day it is.
Dude, I thought today was Saturday.
It's Wednesday.
I was working out today thinking it was Saturday.
Literally, the trainer goes, so are we going to see you guys Saturday?
And I'm like, a week from now?
And he goes, no, that's a few days from now.
And I was just like, nah, man, I'm joking.
I got to play off that I'm that detached from the world.
But man, shit has been crazy.
Okay, so we can talk about Jake Paul.
We can talk about Chappelle also. Oh, yeah okay so we can talk about jake paul um we
talk about chapelle also oh yeah you gotta talk about uh logan mayweather logan mayweather yeah
let's talk about jake let's talk about jake first and jake and nate robinson i was very impressed
with jake yeah the kid can actually box yeah and um this is what i've been trying to explain
to a lot of motherfuckers in a boxing match, not a street fight
you know who might win a street fight between Nate and Jake?
Nate, he literally just, he might win that street fight
in a street fight
you have two punches thrown
and then people grab each other
and then it becomes a wrestling match, generally speaking
right, because if you notice at the beginning of the fight
a punch is thrown, then they're hugging each other
the ref breaks it up, ain't no ref breaking you up
in a street fight, once you're hugging somebody, it's who's got more brute strength or who's got more like wrestling or jujitsu, that kind of shit, and shit's going to the ground.
But a boxing match, whoever has more experience boxing is going to win that.
Yeah.
Okay?
Because a non-boxer usually can't throw a punch hard enough to concuss somebody.
And if they can, it's this big looping
punch and anybody who's been in the ring is not getting caught by one of those punches.
The reason is boxing, when you're in a fight, right, you're learning how to throw punches,
you're learning how to do all these things, but you're also learning how to be comfortable
in a wildly uncomfortable situation. It's a sauna, okay? And the more comfortable you are in that situation,
the more of an advantage,
an extreme advantage
that you have, right?
Nate was freaking out in there.
He didn't know
what the fuck to do.
I actually think Nate
got knocked out
during sparring
for preparation
for the fight.
What do you mean?
Because his confidence,
that is the most confident
athlete I've ever seen,
Nate Robinson.
He's 5'9",
and he was trying to dunk on NBA athletes.
Nobody, he was afraid of nobody.
He thought on every team he was on, he should be taking every single shot.
And he walked into that ring terrified.
Even before, he's like, I'm not just going to lay down.
I'm going to go out there and fight and say,
why are you talking as if you're the underdog?
You're the athlete.
You're the dunk champion.
Everybody thinks you're going to win,
but you're speaking as if you think you're going to lose.
He did lay down, though.
He laid the fuck down.
Ready to go.
Night and night.
He went in there.
He had a height disadvantage,
had a reach disadvantage,
so he was probably looking at himself as the undone.
Also like an experienced...
He's had a height disadvantage
or reach disadvantage his entire life,
and he's looking at this kid like he's some Disney star.
And to be fair to Nate,
there's no video outside the sparring footage
that came out recently of Jake
Paul doing anything that's like really damaging
in the ring. Then that sparring footage
came out and the kid can
fucking throw. Like
knockout power is knockout power. He's not
the same one who fought that KSI dude.
That's the one who's fighting
Floyd Mayweather.
So he's
in there and boxing, again, like I'm saying,
you are in an uncomfortable situation.
The more comfortable you can be in that situation,
the greater advantage you have.
And to Jake's credit, he caught him all three times
with step-back overhand rights.
They're counterpunches.
What happens when there's an unskilled boxer
is you often like lunge at your opponent, right?
So what they'll teach you to do is take a quick step back and then throw off in a straight right but he threw this overhand right every
single time caught him that is a move of strategy and technique that's not luck and he called him
three times same punch he knew exactly what he was doing he executed on it and you got to give
credit to that motherfucker and i'll be honest if i'm him i'm calling out and he kind of did
this recently i'm calling out every you have to call it specific genre of folks.
You have to call it people who are famous enough to non-boxing fans.
Yeah.
But not YouTubers.
Right.
If the fight is just on YouTube, Logan Paul KSI, the world doesn't care.
It will do great numbers.
People will be into it, but the world doesn't talk about it.
care it will do great numbers people will be into it but the world doesn't talk about it you go after an athlete or musician that are famous to the world and usually athlete the only musicians you
could really go after would have to be like super thug gangsters yeah because that's like you're
testing their gangster in a way like if you're going after john mayer no one's going to give a
fuck right but if you if you call out antonio brown you know i mean athletes you're going after John Mayer, no one's going to give a fuck. But if you call out Antonio Brown, you know what I mean?
Athletes, you're always going to side with the athlete because you're like, well, they're an athlete.
They have this incredible athleticism.
Antonio Brown be hitting people, too.
He got a history of abuse.
Antonio Brown's getting knocked the fuck out.
He's been getting knocked out for a while, too.
That's right.
That's not going to be the first time.
He's going to be later.
I'll say this.
He got so much CT, he'll probably walk through a concussion like a zombie.
Like a fucking whitewater.
Just keep coming at you.
So I really think if Jake fights anybody who doesn't have any experience,
specifically boxing, I think that he knocks him out.
Or he at least beats them in potentially a boring fight.
As the guys that he's fighting gets taller,
it's really harder to land that overhand right.
It's a tricky punch.
That's what I was wondering about height.
He has to keep short athletes.
That's why Antonio Brown is perfect.
Yeah.
If I'm him,
I literally just prey on shorter athletes
or gangster rappers.
Right.
And I would call out every single one.
Yeah.
Because if they don't respond,
they look pussy.
That's not true.
Well, here's the thing.
It's the 6ix9ine effect, but you can back it up.
Like 6ix9ine rose to fame by calling out the gangsters,
saying he was more gangster.
And he had some hit songs as well. But his whole MO was, who's the most gangster?
I'm going to beef with them and show you that they're not going to do shit. Right? gangster and he had some hit songs as well but his whole mo was who's the most gangster i'm a
beef with them and show you that they're not gonna do shit right he can do that but he can actually
fight and there's no way gucci main is gonna fight him he might shoot him but he's not gonna fight
him he could take his pick and call out any single dude and low-key if they shoot jake paul instead
of fight him they pussy pussy. They are pussy.
Nah.
Yeah.
That's the most pussy thing.
Now, all of a sudden, that's what everybody was saying about when King Von got shot.
Everybody was talking about, yo, that's soft.
Why you got to shoot the dude?
You're throwing a fair one with him.
Why don't you just shoot the fair one?
Yeah, I get what you're saying, but it's not pussy if you're calling out somebody like,
yo, come into my sport and fight me.
Let's be clear here.
It's not his sport.
Yeah, he had Disney star, yo. If Floyd Mayweather was saying,
they're literally both entertainers.
If Floyd Mayweather, right, said, come fight me,
now that's crazy.
But if an entertainer that's a Disney star
that just picked up boxing a couple years ago, right, is going, yo, let's just box it out.
Yeah.
If Andrew called out some guy who raps and the guy shot Andrew, they'd be like, you couldn't just fight Andrew?
And they'd be like, no, he's got boxing experience.
And you'd be like, well, fuck.
But I mean, years of training is still years of training.
You see how pussy that sounded?
It's still different.
You see how pussy that sounded?
It's still different.
Yo, son, imagine you're Gucci or you're...
Who's the most, like, thugged out rapper?
Let's say Gucci, man.
Imagine Gucci said that.
It was like, well, you've been doing years of training.
Years of training is still years of training.
So I would say let's have a street fight.
They should say let's have a street fight.
And then if he shoots him during a street fight,
then I would say that's pussy.
Yeah.
I agree with Alex.
Yeah.
It's pussy, yo.
No, it's not. If you say let's have a street fight, that's the only counter. Let's have a street fight. Yeah. I agree with Alex. It's pussy, yo. No, it's not.
If you said let's have a street fight,
that's the only counter.
Let's have a street fight.
But also it's beneath them.
A Disney character.
Hold on a second.
What I would do is literally,
again, you just use it for clout.
You call out the most badass dude
and then you just say,
I want to box you.
And when they don't react
and you know the world is talking about it
and you can say, yo, no disrespect,
but I want to box you. And then if they don't react, they look pussy and you know the world is talking about it and you can say, yo, no disrespect, but I want to box you.
And then if they don't react,
they look pussy and you look...
Listen, if motherfuckers...
Let's say who's...
If Rob Gronkowski calls me out
and says, you want to box?
I'm going to go, no.
I'm pussy if you're asking me to box.
Right?
That's it.
Simple as that.
Actually, I don't know if Rob Gronkowski
is nice at boxing,
but that motherfucker
is big bro
let me ask you a question
if you called out Jay Z
so it would be pussy
if Jay Z didn't respond to him
not cause Jay Z got tits
Jay Z's not
nobody built worse
than Jay Z
put some respect
on Jay Z
Jay Z's got bigger tits
than Beyonce bro
Jay Z's look
big
has Jay Z ever looked
cool in a candid picture
if he not posing
for the picture
he looks ridiculous.
Son, is he human, Big Bird?
He got the skinny ass, right?
He got the big ass beak.
He does, bro.
Now, be honest, yo.
Listen, Jay-Z, when he is in character, is the coolest person on the planet.
You've never seen someone so cool in your life.
And the reason he is that is because he is the most uncool
person on the planet and learned how to be cool trust me you hear his voice tracking and shit
what about the elevator scene what about the elevator scene no he was he wasn't on camera he
was calm he was calm and cool yeah cool like cool like that, like a synonym for calm. He's 100% maybe the coolest guy on earth.
But in terms of cool being like swag or whatever the fuck, no.
Jay-Z.
Y'all don't put some respect on Jay-Z, Dave.
Let me explain.
Let me explain.
I know how we want him to be the character that he portrays.
But when you see him on a jet ski with a helmet,
I've got some reasonable doubt that he's a cool guy.
Because he's trying to be safe?
I've got some reasonable doubt.
Safe isn't cool.
Hold on.
When has safety been cool?
Hey, let me put on this fucking life vest while I'm on a jet ski.
That's cool.
Come on now.
Motorcycles are cool because of how safe they are.
That's how it works.
Come on, bro. Raw sex ain't...
If Hardin Black
had a fucking Volvo, you would think he was cool?
There's airbags
on all the doors.
It's Swedish engineering.
I'll say it in a way you'll understand. That's just the next level
of a Netflix special. What's that?
You got a Netflix special and you stopped riding your bike because oh my god this is too dangerous so i gotta go take
ubers until this shit is done now times that by a billion i gotta put a helmet on on a jet ski now
give a context to that give context to that what i'm you're not gonna put your life your point is
valid i'm just saying people don't won't understand what you're saying so we were shooting a special
right netflix had a show special and we. So we were shooting a special, right?
Netflix had a show special, and we were – we've got to be careful with our wording.
And I take a motorcycle to work every day, right?
I take a motorcycle.
It's an electric motorcycle because I care about the environment.
With pedals, yeah.
I take it with pedals.
35 miles an hour, Max.
Exactly.
No, I mean, my shit goes 60 now, so I'll cut it.
You know what I'm saying?
Shout out to Huck.
I got the Huck cycle, the big dog.
All right?
With the electric.
Okay.
I stopped taking the motorcycle to work every day because I didn't want y'all to miss out
on the opportunity to work on a Netflix special.
Yes.
I mean, a show special.
Yes.
Right?
No, no.
In all seriousness, I uh the motorcycle to work
today or every single day because i was like god forbid i get in a fucking accident and then we
can't shoot and push this day off let me just take an uber yeah what you're saying is and i'm
agreeing with your point you're saying is when you're with a billion dollars yeah you can't
risk getting an injury on a fucking jet ski on a jet ski yeah i mean if you get injured on a jet
ski question son you can get injured on a jet ski. Can I ask you a question? Son, you can get injured on a jet ski.
How do you get injured on a jet ski? Bro, it's water everywhere.
It's water. You fall into the water, bro.
Son, there was times I was doing like, I was trying to
do lifts and shit like that. You think Jay-Z's doing it?
Jay-Z's not doing lifts, bro.
Jay-Z could do everything.
Why is he hitting his head on in the water, bro?
Bro, he can't drown, bro. His titties will make him float.
Yeah, he's floating, bro. Come on, bro.
Come on. It's your boy. That was Mark Gagnon. Find him in Brooklyn. He can't drown, bro. His titties will make him float. Yeah, he's floating, bro. Y'all call it chill out. Y'all call it chill the fuck out.
It's your boy.
That was Mark Gagnon.
Find him in Brooklyn.
Let me ask you a question.
I got 99 problems and puberty's one.
If Jay-Z wants to fight, we go on Triller, all right?
I'll fight him.
Boxing match.
Pay-per-view.
Pay-per-view, baby.
Come on.
He used to do Taibo or something.
Now you on board.
Now you on board. You using ether lines against him. Taibo or something. Now you on board. Now you on board.
You're using ether lines against Taibo Homes.
All right.
What were you going to say?
I was going to say, why can't you love him, but he not be the coolest guy on earth?
Yeah.
What's wrong with that?
I love Jay-Z, but I also understand.
I think he's a fucking genius.
I don't think he's the coolest guy on earth.
We're going to start to realize.
What I think is cool about him is not the swag.
What I think is cool about his business
he's a fucking genius. He's a fucking poet.
That's what I think is cool about him.
What I think people start to learn
is like, especially you've seen this even
within the industry, the people that
are successful in entertainment for a long
time are not the
cool motherfuckers.
They're the people who learned how to use that. The ones who are not the cool motherfuckers. They're the people who learned how to use
that. The ones who are like the
real cool guys, the ones who are legit
and they're anti all this other shit,
they're back in jail.
They get drug addictions. Or they are in
rehab. James Dean, yeah.
I feel like the essence of
cool is sometimes the opposite.
Yeah, you really
pulled the F-A right there.
Why did I F-A? I don't know. I was full of fun right there. Yeah, you really pulled the F-A right there. Everything cool. Why did I full of fun?
I don't know.
I'm kind of cold right now.
Everything all right over there, Mark?
I don't know.
Is there a time warp?
Fucking Obama over here
stuttering.
Tim, Al taking shots
at all his heroes.
What's going on, Al?
He's like,
y'all killed that for me.
I did not realize
he had a stutter.
Al did not realize
he had a stutter.
I thought he just thought
and took his time. It's not a stutter, though. I think he had to overthink. It's had a stutter. I thought he just thought and took his time.
That's not a stutter, though.
I think he had to overthink.
It's not a stutter.
I think he had to overthink everything because he was getting crucified for every word he said.
That's what I'm saying.
So he would think things through.
Yeah, that's not called a stutter, though.
But his inauguration speech in 08, that shit was amazing.
Pre-written, bro.
How are you going to stutter on a pre-written speech?
No stutter than that.
You guys, he started stuttering more as he was president for longer.
You guys are not doing definition of stuttering,
right? What's that? What the fuck
did you just say?
Did you just stutter or you stuttered?
Were you calling Obama?
That's not stuttering. Say one thing about
Obama, man.
The God. He is the God.
I have two things, though. What's that?
Snoop Dogg, he's cool, right?
What are you talking about?
We're going back to that conversation.
That's valid.
That's a good example.
That's valid.
Snoop is cool.
Snoop is a cool human being.
I just want to say one thing about Snoop.
What's up?
Relax.
Say something about my own.
Not only is he cool, that motherfucker is comedian level funny.
Yes.
He's funny. cool that motherfucker is comedian level funny yes funny i did not think he was funny what until i saw him host the the paul jake paul it's not even the jake paul fight isn't that crazy we call
it the jake paul the tyson boy jones fight oh my god but i did not think he's like he is absolutely
cool okay that being said he had like a spiritual advisor that was a pimp for a while or something.
Remember Don Magic 1?
He was his spiritual advisor.
I smoked with him.
You slept with him?
Smoked with him.
Oh my gosh.
You smoked with Snoop?
I have video.
Really?
I never showed you it.
No, Snoop is that dude, bro.
Snoop really is that dude, man.
I think there's something to what you were saying.
It's hard to be cool and successful. it like to be truly cool to be truly successful because
i feel like being cool is the opposite of successful a lot of times you know i mean
i know where you're going with it but just like like to me hone in on someone that's cool is like
oh i don't really care yes you know i mean i have not a care in the world i'm chill all the time
nothing bothers me like i don't give a fuck about nothing yeah like everybody and to be
successful you have to give a fuck you have to care it's hard to not give a fuck and still get
the things that giving a fuck gets you yes so finding a balance between that or finding a way
to like tap into things that are cool but don't remove you from giving a fuck because anybody in
this business gives a fuck you know we could act like these people out here like oh i don't care
about acting or i don't care about any of these things,
you know?
Yeah.
The reality is,
the reality is,
is you're still in the business.
Yeah.
Like all these people who complain about it,
right?
But then they still do it.
Shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
You want to beat it.
You go into the audition.
You got deadlines.
Yeah.
You got a big,
I mean,
I don't.
You get it when you get it,
bro.
I told Mark one day,
when was you,
when you were having your big freakout, what happened?
Oh, my gosh.
I was like, yo, the deadline's coming up.
Everything's...
Keep going.
Everything's...
What are we going to do?
Everything's behind.
We got to catch up.
We had to deliver three episodes one day at 8 o'clock, right?
And they gave us strict deadlines.
They said, yo, by this time, this time, this time.
I said...
Mark is terrified.
Dove is terrified.
I said, all right, we're going to get it by those times.
So I'm staying up all night, working working hard trying to get it done on time
and then andrew walks in you know 10 o'clock feeling cool and i go hey andrew like i didn't
really sleep last night but like we're still behind on this i don't know what to do like
what should we do because i don't know about the deadline and he just looks at me and goes hey mark
no no no no no no no no this is not how it went this is you annoyed me five different times
this is you just fucking yapping.
What if we don't get it?
I was cold.
My fellow Americans.
He kept going, what if we don't get it?
What's going on?
What are we going to do?
He was stressed.
Stressing.
And by the fifth time, I just had enough.
And I just said, when do you want to?
What did I say?
I was going to say the other one you said.
What did I say?
Because I did ask you five times.
The first time, you just go, hey, Mark, we got the meats.
I was like, what are you talking about?
He goes, yo, they want the meats.
We got the meats.
I was like, how does that help me?
We got the meats.
If you want the meats, you know what I'm saying?
You got to go to the butcher.
We're the butcher.
Cobra Kai season three ain't out yet.
They need the meats.
It's about to be, bro.
Then he comes back and he comes to me.
He's like, yo, when do you want to turn it in?
He's like, Friday, Saturday.
I'm like, take Sunday.
We're turning it in Sunday.
That's it.
We're turning it in Sunday.
That's ill. That's ill. That was so. And I'm like, take Sunday. We're turning in Sunday. That's it. We're turning in Sunday. That's ill.
That's ill.
And I'm just laughing.
Me and Mark, inside, we can't really react.
But we're like dying inside because it's due that day.
And I didn't think he was actually going to be able to pull this shit up.
So he was like, yo, let's just take five minutes, go out to the roof or some shit like that.
I'm like, if you don't get this shit approved and we just wasted a half hour
playing soccer on the roof,
I was going to be pissed.
So I get a call from Netflix like an hour later.
And after that call, I came into the room.
I was like, can we do it by Saturday?
Bro, literally, we're on the roof
Playing soccer
Nah but y'all
Need some soccer bro
We come down
We get a
We get a email
From production
They go
Okay moving the release date
Will be catastrophic
For the schedule
Catastrophic's the word
What does that mean
Realistically
I moved it two days though
It wasn't catastrophic
We got it done
What's catastrophic
He got two days
You know what's catastrophic
Getting COVID in the middle
Of a fucking production
That's catastrophic I'm saying only catastrophic getting COVID in the middle of a fucking production.
I'm saying the catastrophe has happened.
Two-week quarantine pushes it two days.
That ain't bad.
Mark, that was your problem.
He was reading those emails.
Yeah, he would read every fucking email.
Instead of editing.
That's why it took so fucking long.
You don't know how to read them.
Dub will tell you the important ones.
Yeah, when I see Dub over there just snoring, bro.
When he starts snorting it up, you know it's a problem, bro.
When that snort comes out in his breathing, that deviated septum.
When that septum starts deviating, bro.
Oh, we got a deadline to hit.
I'm trying to think when Dub got the most stress.
Wait, you snort?
What?
No, no, no no we just call him
our truffle pig
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So yeah, man.
Back to the fight.
Close out the fight.
Oh, yeah.
We got to close out the fight.
Oh, yeah.
What do you think of Tyson?
That's what I want to ask you.
I mean, it was just great to see them both in there.
And I just love Tyson.
He's just such a...
I think Tyson is about to...
Yeah.
I mean, I kind of had a feeling it was going to go that way.
I was like, if he doesn't connect, connect.
He's not going to outbox Roy.
But Roy's chin is, unfortunately, now at this stage of his career,
not what it used to be.
And I thought he was going to connect.
He didn't connect.
And, you know, it was fine.
Did you see the post-game interview where Jim Gray asked Roy how he was doing
and then Mike was like, yeah, I'm doing it.
And he seemed legit angry.
How playful was it?
How angry was he?
It wasn't angry, but it was interesting because Roy did have a fight
within the last few years.
And Tyson's like, I haven't fought in 15 years.
But that's how much, that's like the esteem that we give Mike Tyson.
We're literally like, you're such a badass motherfucker.
Yo, we're asking Roy how is it to fight Tyson.
Exactly, yeah.
And the thing about Tyson is like, it's really a testament to like people who um who drill well
and by drill i mean like just do repetitive movements like if you looked at tyson it was
slower but he didn't look that different boxing yeah did you notice that like his movements in
the ring were quite similar to what we expected from and that's what happens when you're fucking 14 years old or whatever.
Super soldier.
And you've just been doing the same thing over and over.
That shit sticks with you.
Riding a bike, 100%.
Yo, hot take.
Go.
If you rewatch that fight.
Yeah.
Count punches landed.
Oh, Roy wins?
Roy wins that fight.
Thank you.
Son, Roy wins that fight.
He won.
And he was trying to win off points. Yeah. That's what I thought. Roy wins that fight. He won, and he was trying to win off points.
Yeah.
That's what I thought.
That's the only way you can win that fight,
because you can't even knock each other out.
Yeah.
Because even though Tyson was hitting him much harder
and probably hitting him more, they were all being blocked.
Yeah.
Maybe he got some body shots in there, but you're right.
Yeah, you're right.
It's true.
It is interesting.
Thank you for saying that.
Yeah.
I mean, I just, yeah, Roy's just so great. But it was great to see them back in there. I don't know. It's like, it's the least is interesting thank you for saying that yeah i mean i just yeah roy's just so great
but it was great to see them back in there i don't know it's like it's the least you could
do i think charlotte put on his caption and that shit really resonated with me but he was like
the amount of joy these guys have given me in my life just watching them both fight yeah giving
them 50 couldn't even compare oh yeah like i was so happy to give them 50 dollars like
yeah that's a donation it's a fucking donation, bro.
They should make that a tax write-off.
That's a charitable contribution.
Real talk, man.
I mean, yeah.
I was happy to see Mike get a million.
Just like, yo, go, bro.
Yeah.
Take it.
Everybody took from you.
Now you can take from everybody a little bit.
Yeah.
So what do you think happens with this Logan Paul Mayweather thing?
Well, first of all, do you think Mayweather thinks he's fighting Jake?
I'm actually genuinely.
I do. I thought so Jake? I'm actually genuinely.
I thought so.
Like, as I'm getting older, all white people are starting to become the same.
Yeah.
Why is that?
I don't know.
It's like I'm actually having a harder time distinguishing you guys. White people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So now I get it.
Yeah.
So add 10 years and severe brain damage.
Then imagine how hard it is.
Oh, shit.
So I do think he thought he's fighting it is. Oh, shit. I do think
he thought he's fighting the guy who just
fought Nate. You really think so? I think so.
He's got someone in his team.
Yeah, he's got to have someone in his team, though,
dude. Why would he take this fight?
It makes more sense that Jake would
fight him now because Jake has all the heat.
Though maybe they're trying to do like a
brother combo thing.
I mean, I don't know, dude. I hit up Logan. I was like, bro, are you fucking... This is combo thing you know i mean i don't know dude i
hit up logan i was like bro are you fucking this is crazy i was like i don't know how you're gonna
spend this because they're gonna try to turn it into some race war yeah if the fight is in february
it's during black history month you are like the quintessential white boy and yeah and like that
conversation happened with like jake exactly i was gonna say that maybe jake didn't want to take
the fight because he's like i'm too easily vilifiable or whatever.
Whereas Logan, from what I understand, he's the clean cut All-American.
It's harder to find the dirt on him.
You're fighting him in Black History Month.
Jake.
Well, Logan got dirt, though.
Logan got the suicide shit.
But against black people, he got dirt?
No, no, no.
So if you're fighting him during Black History Month, Floyd don't care about anybody but black people.
He's pretty clear about that.
Jake, it seems like it'd be easier to make him a villain.
And Jake is probably like, look, I don't want it.
That's what I told him.
I was like, yo, you can make tons of money if you lean into that.
But you're just going to, it's going to be horrible for your everyday life.
Yeah, it's at the expense of all your other money in life.
You're good.
But you could probably, like he could probably have a cash out fight.
Like literally you get 50 mil or something crazy if he just leans into, like, not MAGA, but you get close.
And then you make it, like, this white versus black thing.
I think if you look up the highest grossing fight in history, I think it's—oh, actually, now it's all changed because of paper due numbers and all that kind of stuff.
But I think it was, like, Muhammad like Muhammad Ali versus some like white dude.
Like there was some like racial tension attached to it.
Or maybe it was Mike Tyson versus some white guy.
Do you know what it is?
I'm looking up some now.
Was that guy Peter McNeely or whatever the fuck that he knocked out in 60 seconds?
Was it that quick?
Yeah.
I don't remember that.
Three minutes something.
Point is you can make the most money there,
but I don't think that's the right thing to do for him brand wise.
You know,
like I want,
but then again, you have to think about how the fuck can you get people to think you have a chance.
In order for them to buy the fight, they either want to see you get your ass handed to you,
like, get your ass beat, or they got to think you have a chance.
So how do you convince them to think you have a fucking chance against the greatest great of all time?
I don't know, though, because I can see people wanting to sign up just to see him get knocked out like if you're like if
you don't like him or if you're someone that like goes at him i think i can see you being that's
option one of what i was saying oh but if you want to profit the most off of that you make
everybody hate you logan's a likable guy right like i think most people like him most people
are into his stuff and they like find the things that he do uh does like funny and interesting right like he's not a villain character where i
think jake you could say that he might be a villain character there are people that are like pushing
back you're nodding your head but if you have the like the most listened to podcasts in the world
people don't hate listen for two hours right so like if you're listening is because they fuck
with you right if you are an instagram comedian's because they fuck with you. Right.
If you are an Instagram comedian,
there are motherfuckers that could just literally watch it
to be like,
look how fucking stupid
these people are.
Or a bunch of like these girls
who like post sexy pictures
or whatever like that.
They're not like fans.
It's just like nice to look
at something naked,
you know?
But I think that he has legit fans.
What I'm saying is
if he wants to maximize,
you basically become the heel.
Oh. You know what I mean?
You go Colby Covington, essentially.
That's what Floyd did initially to self-fight, I think.
You literally do the Floyd technique.
Floyd is literally wearing a sombrero into the ring
because he wants every Mexican
that exists to go, I want
this Mexican fighter to beat the shit
out of this black guy.
He does it on Cinco de Mayo, fighting Oscar de la Hoya. He knows what he's doing. He does it on Cinco de Mayo fighting Oscar de la Hoya.
Like, he knows what he's doing.
Floyd only fought
on Cinco de Mayo, dude.
It was amazing.
And then, like,
Bernard Hopkins
goes to Puerto Rico,
takes the Puerto Rican flag,
rips it in half
and, like, steps on it
when he was fighting
Tito Trinidad.
Do you remember that?
And then, of course,
every Puerto Rican's like,
I want you to beat the shit
out of this guy.
Like, creating that kind of tension,
that, like, race war
is always going to drive up a fight.
Yeah.
I just don't know how the fuck anybody thinks that
Logan could have a chance. He's got
to release sparring footage where he's actually knocking
people out. He's got to build up
this ability that he could actually fight.
What's his size? He's way bigger than
Floyd. He's 200 pounds. And he's solid.
The kid is solid and shredded. Six feet,
maybe 6'1", 200 fucking
pounds. Floyd is 150 pounds, 160 pounds probably.
So that's his chance right there.
You can't hit him.
You can't hit the guy.
You can't hit him.
I wonder if there's something with this.
Have you ever played basketball against someone that sucks at –
actually, me, probably.
You've ever played a sport against someone that you're good at
that they're terrible at?
Yep.
There's almost a weird advantage like, I don't know.
Like, I've played soccer against people that I've never played.
And if you try to do, like, a fake, you expect them to move.
That way you can fake back.
But then sometimes you'll play someone that doesn't move, so you'll fake, and then you'll fake back into where they are.
Sorry to interrupt, but to this point, I thought, and you said it was head movement, but maybe there's something to this I'll ask again.
When Floyd fought Conor, it took him a few rounds to get the upper hand.
For the first few rounds, it was like, this is crazy.
This is not like a clear-cut Floyd victory.
He just carried him.
And I thought maybe Conor was so unorthodox that it was throwing off Floyd.
Nah, he just carried him.
There's no lucky punch, you'd think.
And even if he landed a lucky punch, Logan can't hit harder than the hardest person that's hit Floyd.
Because even if you're 200 pounds, you don't have the power and precision of a 154-pound fighter.
Like Oscar De La Hoya's hook is harder than Logan's.
Yeah, probably.
You know what I mean?
And I know what you're saying, and that's about someone who's really unskilled at soccer
or really unskilled at basketball or whatever,
but with boxing,
Logan's skilled. Logan's
had fights. He actually knows the technique.
Right. He knows what he's doing in there.
You know what I mean? He's not just going to go swing wild.
It's tricky. So we've got to
devise a way to build this fight up because I want it to be
exciting. I mean, he was good at
defending himself, though.
That's another thing.
It's like it'd be another thing if you were going in there with a banger,
like you're going there with a boxer that's known for just a complete slugfest, right?
Then you've got to punch for his chance maybe because he's going to engage.
You can't hit Floyd.
Exactly.
The greatest fighters in history can't hit Floyd. In my opinion, he's the greatest great of all time,
meaning he's greater at boxing than Bill Gates is at tech.
He's greater at boxing than Gretzky at hockey.
Gretzky at hockey.
He's the greatest great.
You can't hit him.
I don't care if he's 43.
He's going to look a little pussy if he gets in there with a non-professional and he's running.
But here's the thing.
Towards the end of his career, he wouldn't run.
He'd stand right in front of you and just use amazing headphone that little shoulder roll
remember right now is it possible logan can win without winning so that's the other thing i was
thinking right it's like how do you how do we create okay he can win without winning but i
don't know if that sells tickets so in other words if he finds a way to go the distance with floyd
right right people will go wow he actually went the distance with floyd right right people will go
wow he actually went the distance with floyd floyd didn't get him out of here but you're not
selling the tickets and who gives a fuck about a moral victory when you're in there getting your
ass kicked right but is there rematch money in it is there like some type of like can he make a
prediction that he can't come through on like yo i'm gonna stick you about in the fifth or whatever
like it's so tricky It's so tricky.
It's so tricky.
Because what is he going to say?
I'm going to land one punch?
Yeah, I guess.
Honestly, Floyd, if he really wants to sell this fight,
he's got to say he's not going to land a single punch.
So you create, that's a good point, you create the expectation of not victory.
We know who's going to win, but how do i shift what a win is right yeah like if you're playing basketball it's like against someone amazing like oh i won't beat
you but yo i'm gonna break your ankles and you knock him down it's like oh yeah he did what he
said he was gonna do look at jay williams yeah i beat jay williams because of what he decided was the competition. So technically, Floyd could create a competition
where Logan could win, at least in the eyes of the people.
Everybody listening to this podcast right now
knows I bust J. Williams' ass,
even though he bust my ass.
It was 6-1, but it wasn't.
It was 7-6.
So that's what they got to create.
I don't know how you create that within boxing.
Maybe it's just expectation-based, but, like, if Floyd is out there going,
not only am I going to bust his ass,
he's not going to land a single punch on me the entire fight.
What if Floyd commits to not training?
Honestly, I don't think it makes a difference.
Really?
I think he's just – I think it's like – Floyd always trains.
What?
Floyd always trains even when he's not boxing.
And don't you think it's like muscle memory?
It's like you've been doing that since you're four years old.
Yeah.
He could not train.
Like it'd just be so, I think it'd just be so easy for him.
The skill margin is just so much.
It's so much.
It's so much.
But we'll see.
We're going to find a way to sell it.
I want to get, I want to, I want to help Logan.
I want to help him get crazy interest in this help logan uh i want to help him get
crazy interest in this fight above just i want to see logan beat up like i want the general public
to be like nah this is going to be interesting for this reason i just don't know what that
fucking something you brought up before that's also cool is assuming that like the fight ends
logan loses yeah there is that that like a vengeance that vengeance fight yes for jake yeah i mean they'd be really smart if
jake fought ksi and then maybe jake fucks up ksi nicer than logan that recency bias shit is so real
when it comes to fighting yeah and he won yeah so it's like a knockout is just so yeah it's it's
yeah it's just so hard man whenever. Whenever you see someone knocked out, especially in that fashion, you're like, yo, that motherfucker is nice.
Demands respect, regardless.
Yes, 100%.
So it's like, I don't know who's better.
I really got to see them both.
I really got to see them both.
I don't know.
I don't know.
To that end, while we're talking about the Paul brothers,
do you want to talk about Jameel Hill and Jake Paul?
They asked a joking question.
Like, Jameel Hill asked this joking-ass question
when she was interviewing Jake. She's like, was it racist that you knocked him out? Now, she asked it joking question like jamila hill asked this joking ass question when she was interviewing jake she's like was it racist that you knocked him out now she asked it she's kidding
that's what i was noticed so is carrie champion they're both kidding because carrie followed up
with the same question okay because i thought she got when she was like why is that a stupid
question when jake paul is clearly annoyed i was like she's either trolling him which is odd and
seems out of character for her right or she's getting a little annoyed that he's getting annoyed and she was like gonna make it a real thing now yeah the thing is like i don't
know if jamil hill has the equity built up to ask a question like that as a joke because that's
literally what she does for a living yeah is kind of ask those questions like she wakes up in the
morning and then she's like it's racist today where's it at you know what i mean so why is it
racist why it's cold out in summer?
Is that racism?
You ever see the guys on the beach with the thing and the headphones and that machine
that beeps?
The metal detector?
She's the racism detector on Twitter all the time.
So that's her thing.
And I get it, man.
It's like you lean into what pays the bills.
And I'm sure she achieved a lot of success leaning into that.
But eventually, you've got to be careful that you don't become a caricature success leaning into that. But eventually you've got to be careful
that you don't become a caricature of yourself.
In order to keep your audience honest,
it's important to challenge them.
At least that's what I think.
Because if you don't,
then you're just kind of caught up
in this positive feedback loop,
but you have to go more and more extreme
in order to get that same reaction.
So it's like,
okay, so we call this racist.
Well, I've already done that.
What's not racist but is?
So I thought this was her
kind of trying to pivot out
of becoming that caricature
and people weren't having it.
They were just like,
no, she's got to be serious.
This is Jameel Hill.
Yeah.
I know she's joking,
but this is what you do.
So now all of a sudden
you're a comedian?
Yeah.
And also it's corny.
Boy, you cry wolf Yeah
That's it
That is it
It was just corny bro
It's like
It's like clearly
He got called
I'm sorry to interrupt
But like
Nate called out Jake
If Jake was out there
Calling out Nate
And he was like
I'm gonna beat your black ass
And all this other shit
Like he tried to make it
A little racist in some way
Sure
But like
You're literally only saying this
because the kid's white.
Yeah.
And I thought he handled it well, too.
He was like,
come on.
Yeah, what are you doing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You should have said,
yeah, it's racist.
It's racist.
The black guy asked
if he could beat the shit out of me
and I decided to defend myself.
Yeah.
So, yeah, he is racist.
Nate Robinson is racist. If Nate Robinson
liked black people more, he wouldn't have gotten slapped.
That's super racist for him
not to fight for y'all. He let us down.
Did you feel let down?
Really?
At least put up somewhat
of a fight. He was just running
in there with his hands down
head first. Are you aware how much
black people think they can beat up every white person?
Is that a thing you're aware of? Is that true?
Yeah. Absolutely. Really?
Yeah, living with black people,
they really don't think there's a single white person
on earth they couldn't beat up.
Why have things worked out the way they have?
Is this a new phenomenon?
What's going on?
Is that for real?
It's a real thing. Really? It's a real thing.
Really?
It's a real thing, yeah.
That's fascinating.
Are you re-evaluating your whole life?
It's astonishing to me.
My old roommate, he was a big dude,
but he was legit.
I could take five or six of them.
The way I talk about fighting nine-year-olds,
that's how he talked about fighting white people his own age.
I never thought it was that.
I thought that they were like white people.
They're just afraid of black people because they have like a bigoted view of black people.
Right.
So like there are white people that just wouldn't fight a black guy.
Yeah.
Because of their own bigotry.
Yeah.
Right.
But I never knew black people just thought they could beat up every white guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like dancing.
Yeah.
Interesting. Like that. It's like dancing. Yeah. Interesting.
Not even dancing, I believe.
That's the difference we think we have. And what did this
fight do to that, you think?
I mean, Nate could get him.
Run it back?
Yeah, you gotta run it back.
I'm running it back. I'm training
for a year. He got him. Yeah, and Nate
is an athlete, so he can pick shit up. Killed his reputation. Yeah, Nate got it. I'm training for a year. He got it. Yeah, and Nate is an athlete, so he can pick shit up.
Killed his reputation.
Yeah, Nate got it right now.
He rolled with it, though.
He leaned into the jokes.
He had his fun.
Was just like back on Twitter, taking it.
Was he?
He said something on Instagram the next day that was just like acknowledging.
You were in hiding for real?
Yeah, I brought it up in quarantine again.
Yeah, you'd have to be in a dark room for probably six or seven days.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With a concussion like that.
It's just in general.
Wait till symptoms go away before you come back outside.
Ten days.
I'm surprised, actually.
Oh, boy.
Okay, what else we got going on, guys?
What else is happening?
Matthew McConaughey called out the liberals.
Keep scrolling if you want to.
What's Matthew McConaughey up to?
Is he trying to podcast or something?
He's pivoting.
I think he wants to get into politics.
Yeah, there's something.
He's pivoting.
Did he say he was going to try to run for something?
He's doing politics?
I knew there was something, man.
He might try to run for Texas governor.
That's what it was.
And this is a brilliant way to get votes in Texas.
To call out.
Yeah.
And to say, he says, I'm aggressively centrist.
That's a term he uses.
And then he called out, if you guys don't know, he called out basically Hollywood liberals
who are making fun of Republicans who won't accept the election results.
Yeah.
And he's like, I saw you, this exact person, liberal person, do this when Trump won.
Now, all of a sudden, Republicans are doing it and they're idiots and you're so condescending and arrogant about it.
All the shit we've been saying, to be honest.
Right.
But it's also kind of nice to watch a Hollywood elite call out Hollywood elites.
You know what I mean?
And it's like a good sign that this is all kind of like, all right, this thing, we're calling it out.
Yeah, he's making a move.
Man, I don't know what's going to happen to Hollywood, bro.
Like, I think that shit.
It's moving Austin, buddy.
Yeah, low key.
Elon Musk is coming.
Yo, yo.
A lot of people are coming
Let me just
Silicon Valley on its way
Goldman is moving to
Where Dove?
Florida
They're all moving to the red states
Goldman?
Goldman Sachs
Not
Sorry
Goldman Sachs
That's just like
California's GDP is always so high or whatever
I don't think it's
It's about to plummet I think
Slowly
Like
Big dogs are just going to keep moving.
Why would you pay those taxes?
And Austin is the perfect place because they have mostly liberal ideals,
but you don't pay taxes.
Yeah.
It's everything they want.
Do you think that shifts the,
like the political paradigm in those liberal places?
You see everyone leaving,
they go,
ah,
we got to pull this shit back.
And then all of a sudden in like California,
New York,
people are starting to go,
well shit,
I guess we got to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps.
Nobody's bailing us out.
I guess we gotta figure it out ourselves.
What if there's this massive flip?
That's what I'm saying.
Wow.
Well,
Texas,
everyone wants to live in Republican States.
Nobody does?
Everyone does.
Everybody does.
Yeah.
And then all the,
but I'm saying is California gonna turn,
return red?
I don't know.
That is interesting if
you're like a if you're like a california like republican like nominee or whatever yeah i feel
like this is your best chance you know what i mean like if you're to go for it politically you're
running for senate or something in california and you're republican you're like yo i'm not
what's ruining what's moving everyone out like uh yeah there's something that happened
within this election i think people have spoken about this before, but like Trump lost, but Trump policy didn't.
Yeah.
A lot of people became open-minded about conservatism.
And I think that this was the first time that it all of a sudden became relatable.
Trump was so polarizing.
Trump was so divisive that like they weren't, they were kind of like sudden became relatable. Trump was so polarizing. Trump was
so divisive that they were kind of grossed out by Trump, the figure. But I think a lot of liberals
were just exhausted by the Nancy Pelosi's of the world and these full life politicians that just
absolutely suck. And they're just mucking about with this system. It seems like they're kind of
using it for their own personal benefit or party benefit rather.
And I think they became a little disenfranchised with the left, man.
And I would not be surprised if you see in the next few like what is called the midterm elections, I believe it's called.
I would not be surprised if you see people start leaning right, man, leaning right, especially now that the president isn't right.
So there's going to be a correction because of that.
Right. There's going to be this like reaction. They didn't get their way.
So they're going to lean super hard and try to fly.
Biden is an indication of that, that he's kind of a moderate.
I mean, he's much more of a lifetime politician, but he's kind of a moderate Democrat.
That's the thing. It's a rejection of the Bernie shit.
Yeah. Right. Like and I fucks with Bernie, but it's a rejection of of the AOCs. It's a rejection of the squad.
Even Democrats were like, nah, this is not the thing that we like.
I think we think Democrats are just New York and just LA.
And Democrats are also the ones that get you elected.
They're in the middle of the country.
And the middle of the country is only so left wing.
They're not coastal.
Where it's like, yeah, AOC is everything.
That's perfect.
She's perfect.
They're like, nah, she's a little crazy.
But I generally agree with the left more than the right.
That's a middle America Democrat.
Joe Biden, hey, I'm not here trying to fucking defund the police completely or whatever.
I just want police to be a little better.
And that's how middle America feels.
Regardless of how we feel, that's how I think a lot of middle America feels.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break real quick to save you some money. That's what I do as an Indian. Okay. I spread Corona.
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Now let's get back to the show.
Let's move on. There's move on, yeah.
There was a lot of basketball news.
Have you been keeping up with that?
Man, I haven't kept up with shit.
I literally feel so detached from everything.
What basketball news?
A little bit, yeah.
I was in my room for a couple of weeks,
so I had nothing to do but follow sports.
Why were you curious about it?
I'm sorry.
Before we talk about sports, can I just bring up one headline?
Did y'all hear about this aliens hiding?
Yeah. There are aliens.
Is that the Israeli thing?
Yeah, bro.
Aliens are hiding until
humans are ready.
Aliens are mad
pussy, bro.
That's pipping behavior, bro.
I'm not going in the game come on
i'm not going in how you gonna just be at mars or just be like you went intergalactic travel
you're not gonna go there if you go to orlando bro you gotta go to universal you gotta go to
harry potter's also how does that motherfucker know what they talked to him they were like he
was like yo when you come in they're like dove you might want to speak on this you're one of them i'm an alien too no i'm talking about jews oh no but for real like what
the fuck dude why is it i i don't know i saw that title aliens are supposed to be this like what
they put on the movies though well if they're not then how do we know that they are anything
and also what are they eating they could be like the aliens in Men in Black. Yeah, but those aliens
need to eat, right? What are they consuming? What are
they able to eat? There's no food on any of these planets.
Maybe the waste. What waste?
The trash that we throw in the
dumps and all that stuff. You can't grab a
empty can of Pringles in the fucking
middle of the space. How do you know
they have to eat? They have
to eat, dude.
Maybe they're in Israel.
That's why the guy knew How do you know they have to eat? They have to eat, dude. Maybe they're eating in the air. Maybe aliens are in Israel. Yeah.
That's why the guy knew it's a land that's kind of, you know, unto itself, just waiting
for people to be ready for them.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Wandering around space for 40 years, maybe.
I don't get why this shit made the news.
Who is this guy?
It's just some random motherfucker who just says all aliens.
He was with the Mossad.
He was Israeli intelligence for a while. But he just says some shit with no was with the Mossad. He was Israeli intelligence.
But he just says some shit with no proof.
Also, the other thing about this.
Show me something.
He has a book out right now.
Oh, fuck this guy.
I'm not claiming him.
If Dub don't believe him,
that shit ain't real, dog.
Last guy who wrote about aliens and all of that.
Wait, you don't believe that aliens are real? Uh-oh, we got a truffle scuffle. You don't believe that aliens are real oh we got a truffle scuffle
You think that word too much conversation with someone who doesn't
Nobody can hear him. don't you produce podcasts
I uh
do you believe in aliens
I do
in what way
I don't know
I just
that same thing
of like
there's no way
this is the only planet
that has life on it
exactly
but I don't know
what they look like
or whatever
what do you think
they look like
gay people probably
like
mad well dressed
mad well groomed
in great shape
you know just like superior in every. You know what I mean?
You know, just like superior in every way.
You know what I mean?
And I want to fuck all of them.
I can't fuck it up again!
Yo, what if we have... You know what's interesting about aliens specifically?
You know that white people invented the way that they look now?
Yep.
Because none of them got fat asses.
Oh, that's true.
They got no ass, yo.
It's big head and then just legs that come out of hips.
Yeah.
Isn't that interesting?
Like, there's no fat ass alien.
I'm telling you I'm an alien.
You're not believing me.
No. I don't believe you so much for hiring
yo hold on i got okay she might be an alien you know she said to me earlier today something's
on that screen now don't scare me uh she goes taylor goes to me she goes goes, yo, I don't believe in tunnels.
I did not say that. You didn't say that.
No, I didn't.
I did not say that.
I said I don't understand tunnels.
You don't understand tunnels.
What don't you understand about tunnels?
That's exactly what you do in a tunnel.
Whoa.
What?
Damn, Mark.
What's going on, y'all?
You're so warm up.
Yo, what's going on?
Listen, that joke is not on the Netflix special, okay?
I just want everybody to know.
Hold on, hold on.
You understand in a tunnel.
All right, whatever.
Understand.
All right, fuck all y'all.
Keep going.
Understand.
Nobody stands in tunnels, Mark.
You ride your car sitting down.
Who's standing in a tunnel?
You should have stuttered and thought about that one.
Over your heads, dog.
Come on.
Just like a tunnel.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
I missed that one, too.
Okay. I just don't
understand well doug explained it to me earlier so doug is so funny nobody's worse at names than
taylor but you want to say black jitter netflix dove netflix oh i'm so sorry oh okay his name's
doug now bro okay but go on i was thinking you don't look like a Doug.
Okay.
I don't understand.
I don't understand.
What does he look like?
What do I say?
Certainly not a Doug.
We all think that.
Say it.
You kind of give me.
Abraham.
No.
What's that comedian?
I think he's Arabic, though.
I don't know what that...
He had a movie, but...
Hannah Gadsby or something.
I don't know, but you give me some type of...
You know what you look like?
You kind of look like Neve, but like...
Neve Shulman?
Oh, Neve.
Another version of Neve.
I see it.
Okay, go back to Tunnels. Okay, so... Did you mispronounce Neve's nameman oh Neve another version of Neve I see it okay go back to tunnels
okay so
mispronounce Neve's name also
come on Taylor
cause it's Neve
Taylor
if you don't start talking to me
about fucking tunnels
god damn
alright
I don't understand
how they're built
it doesn't make any sense to me
because when I go into a tunnel
yeah
you're talking about tunnels
that are underwater
correct
yeah
that's the issue
what other tunnels are there
through a mountain.
Yeah.
Like, you never watched it?
Oh, I never, I mean, I haven't done that, I'm sorry.
The Roadrunner and the Wile E. Coyote and shit like that?
Oh, yeah, there was a tunnel.
But I'm not talking about that.
You know someone did that in real life?
And they got arrested?
Oh, that's not.
This happened recently.
Someone painted the rest of the street on this wall.
Really?
Yeah.
And I think cars were hitting it.
Oh! Yo, how stupid do you feel? the rest of the street on this wall. Really? Yeah. I think cars were hitting it.
How stupid do you feel?
How fucking idiotic do you feel
when you're driving your car
and go straight into
a fucking wall, dude?
Especially if it's your city
and you're like,
oh, I never knew
Third Street kept going.
They got a tunnel
in this building, bro.
That's great
that this building's
got a tunnel in it.
Where was this at?
Look it up.
Someone painted it
on the wall.
It's hilarious. All right, so go on. I just don't understand how they're built because when I go into a tunnel in it where was this look it up someone's painted on the wall all right so go on i just don't understand how they're built because when i go into a tunnel
yeah and i like the holland tunnel i go out where's the water at but i think taylor and i
could be wrong about this you guys correct me if i'm wrong um there's two ways that it could go
down one way is they actually go underneath the water.
And they go underneath the bedrock.
Yes.
I understand that.
Yeah.
And then,
yeah,
that is how they do it.
So they'll go deep, deep, deep, deep underneath where the water is
and they're just chilling right there
so there's no water they have to deal with.
I think that is the most common one.
I didn't know, to be honest with you,
so I'm glad you asked.
I didn't either.
You know that?
I was like,
yo, you bad dumb.
You know how I learned this? asked. I didn't hear this. I was like, yo, you bad. You know how I learned this?
Exactly.
Oceans.
It was one of the Oceans movies where they have to take a drill
because they're drilling in Las Vegas.
I believe it was Oceans.
So we hit the bottom of the ocean.
No, the Oceans movies are a series of movies.
And you're not doing it in the ocean
because you can't make a tunnel in the ocean.
This is the ocean. Wait, wait make a tunnel in the ocean why are you taking a plane to china when you can just take a tunnel
real time come on nah there's're smiling they didn't finish telling me about oceans and science
whatever no no oceans 11 oceans 12 and oceans 13 you got a lot of degrees
oceanologist bro he took 12 years of oceans i did
i know you lost.
I'm mad confused now.
I know.
I know.
It's okay.
Thank you for making me
more confused now.
That didn't answer the question?
I just answered everything.
You're like,
how the fuck you build it?
You go underneath the water
to where it's land again.
Above the fire though,
you got to be very careful.
Nah,
but you just made me feel bad good
because I really thought
at any time
a crack could happen
and just water start going in
when I'm driving
and I die.
It can though.
Didn't that happen in one of the movies?
Daylight.
It happened in the movie Daylight in the Midtown Tunnel.
So wait, so that shit could happen?
I think on the Midtown Tunnel.
Just brought that fear back.
It can.
I'm going to say it can.
As it can.
I saw there was when it was like, it was a couple of weeks ago.
Okay, here's something for you.
Here's something for you.
I got something better for you, Taylor.
How do you make a bridge?
Yo, I'm.
She asked that question. How do you make a bridge? Wait. So I had this discussion. How do you make a bridge? Yo She asked that question
How do you make a bridge?
So I had this discussion
I had this discussion with
My co-worker right?
Yeah
And he kind of
Made me think about it a little bit more
Because he was like
If there's sand underneath the water
When the bridge sink
Because like how they keep it
Oh forget the bridge sink
How do you even put the blocks there?
And put the cement there Like how do you get put the blocks there and put the cement there?
How do you get it?
Scooby diving.
That's actually not wrong.
Just make the bridge on land
with a strong ass helicopter.
Pull that shit up, drop it down.
That's why we have suspension bridges.
So that it doesn't touch the ground.
I'm not believing that either.
It's suspended, bro. That's why it's in the name.
Damn, Mark. What's up's in the name. Damn, Mark.
Come on, son.
Mark, what's up with all these puns, Mark?
What's going on?
Nah, but he's shooting.
He is shooting.
He got some deep threes, and then he got some breaks.
It's been three weeks.
You know what I mean?
Nah, bro.
Nah, you guys are my audience, bro.
There's people at home right now listening and loving that one.
Loving it.
I missed it again.
I didn't even know he was joking
i can't find the joke okay go on what what what is there anything else you want to know about the
world let me explain i have a lot of questions about the world go do you go we're gonna give
her she might really go go okay so like why are they called well it's more the english language yeah
no i don't want to talk just say it come on now i i just learned about tunnels so thank you for
asking that question that's true i didn't know either yeah hey yeah let's go okay why are they
call it why do they call a building a building if it's already done building shouldn't call it a bill But everyone I asked other people that they're like because I stupid my you're only thinking that because you call it a bill You're building. You're built. Yo. That's facts though, Taylor.
Oh, shit.
But when I ask other people that they're like, because that's stupid, I'm like, you're only
thinking that because we call it a building.
That's a fact.
The first building was actually made by a person whose last name was building.
The term is building.
It's after his last name.
And then the verb was created afterward.
Really?
No, I just made that up.
That shit was fire though up. She was super
funny.
Mark, come in with your
pun joke. Go, go, go.
She already said it. She already said
the pun joke. And you guys loved it.
It's my pun joke.
Understand. I don't
understand it.
Like a tunnel. Come on.
Dang it.
Alright, go. Give us more. more this kind of fire you really might be an alien that is what an alien would say why do you call that building
it has been built come on come on this is great go what the fuck um what else you want to know about Earth, Taylor? Go, go. Come on.
Go, say it. This is a lot of pressure.
Okay.
Why do we call it...
There we go.
Here we go.
Why do we call it a driveway?
Right?
Wait, no, no, no.
That wasn't it.
It was like...
Don't we call it a parkway?
Scratch that.
Scratch that.
Scratch that.
You drive on a parkway. You drive on a parkway. So then shouldn't we call it a driveway? And you park in. Scratch that. Scratch that. You drive on a parkway.
You drive on a parkway.
So then shouldn't we call it a driveway?
And you park in a driveway.
Yeah.
Why is it?
Why is that?
Because the guy that invented driveways.
Shut up.
His last name was Driver.
Yeah.
I have a really, another question, but I can't remember it.
Well, I'm glad.
I was thinking about it before.
That was a great second.
Well, we gave it the two minutes we said.
And I think it's two minutes. We need to have that two minutes with Taylor.
Two minutes with Taylor.
Thoughts for Taylor.
I like that.
Two minutes with Taylor.
So you come up with your questions.
Any question about the world that you are curious about,
and we're going to give you those answers.
Okay.
But I do like that.
Building and built was good.
The next one, driveway, parkway.
Certain stuff doesn't make sense to me, though.
English language.
Yeah, I hear you, dude.
I hear you, dude hear you dude totally dude
alright what else we got
what else we got
cooking
alright sports shit was popping
yo it was mad sports shit
Kyrie still being annoying
yeah I'm
that motherfucker's annoying bro
you think
you think Kevin Durant's over it yet
no but do you know what the context of the quote was
was
so LeBron was like
this hurt me that Kyrie said this on a podcast with Kevin Durant's over it yet? No, but do you know what the context of the quote was? Was what? So LeBron was like, this hurt me that Kyrie said this on a podcast with Kevin Durant.
Kyrie said, normally, I feel like I'm the best person to take the last shot at the end
of the game because I'm essentially because I'm the best shot maker.
This is the first time I've looked at it like he can do every shot I can do and he can make
it look easier about Kevin Durant, which I don't think is crazy.
And LeBron was like, I'm so hurt by that.
I always try to build up Kyrie, blah, blah, blah. LeBron was like I'm so hurt by that I always try to build up Kyrie
Blah blah blah
LeBron was
Kind of a hoe about it
Hold on
LeBron was mad
That he didn't get mentioned
That's kind of Pippen right there
A lot of Pippen's going on right now bro
Do you think it's because
Larsa Pippen has been
Sucking them all off
You think that's the reason
Super spreader
Yo she is a super spreader bro
That girl is 46
She got a virus in her legs Bro she out here reason? Wait, hold on. She is a super spreader, bro. That girl is 46. She got a virus in her legs.
Bro, she out here getting decked.
Wait, hold on.
LeBron was mad that he wasn't mentioned in Kyrie's?
LeBron was mad that he wasn't mentioned?
No, LeBron was mad that, I apologize to everybody listening right now.
LeBron is mad because Kyrie said in an interview a while ago
that now for the first time in his career,
he finally has someone who he feels as confident as himself taking the last shot.
LeBron was like, yo, fam, we're on the same team.
I didn't know that you didn't think I could hit shots.
LeBron is so pussy, yo.
Yo!
Talk that shit, Taylor.
I've been told you that, though.
I just feel like I like LeBron outside of the court.
I don't like him on basketball.
He's sensitive about basketball, but when it comes to real life stuff,
you like where he steps up.
Yeah.
Why do you think?
Why do I think that?
Yeah.
Because I've seen him play, and he's pussy.
He tries to – I don't like it.
He cries about everything.
Cries about a lot of calls.
Yes.
He plays like a soccer player.
What does that mean? That is an insult international appeal same thing no but for real yeah he kind of a whiny dude yeah is that y'all just noticing that
yeah yo i don't like whining bro yeah i think it's a whining thing i don't like fucking whining
dude go out there get your shit done simple as that i mean that's a whining thing i don't like fucking whining dude go out there get
your shit done simple as that i mean that's lebron if you've been the best since you were 18
everything goes your way i mean maybe not his whole life but like like uh professionally
your whole life you just kind of expect things to kind of go your way he's also have he's all
sorry he's also a little passive-aggressive he's just like that's his way it's savvy media wise to be like oh
I was so generous to Kyrie I told him
you'll be MVP blah blah blah he's a talented
kid the kid the kid the kid
but it's mad passive aggressive it's strategic
but that seems to be how he operates
and I get how great he is but that
is annoying yeah yeah but if you're
if you're Kyrie you just gotta take that shit
like you are the kid you know what I'm saying
like you are this is LeBron what I'm saying? Like, you are.
This is LeBron James.
This is the greatest player of his generation.
And y'all are hooping together and he fucks with you, but you're not LeBron.
Well, no.
In that case, though, I'm like, yo, I'm trying to compliment my teammate.
I'm not trying to dog you out.
You are better.
He never says I was the best player.
He said I could hit the last shot.
We all kind of agree with that, I think.
Yo, low-key, maybe this is Kyrie just trying to...
That wasn't the wrong statement.
It's not the wrong statement,
but maybe this is Kyrie trying to gas KD.
That's what I thought it was.
And trying to let KD know,
hey, I'm going to be the number two here.
Don't get it twisted.
I know what you do.
That's what I thought it was.
He said, we're going to be 1A, 1B.
Yeah, that's it.
He didn't say someone could make it better than me.
He's like, he can make it and make it look easier.
We still gonna make it.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
But I...
When it was Kyrie and LeBron, though, who was taking the last shot?
Kyrie hit the last shot.
I mean, there's still 58 seconds left or whatever, so it wasn't like two seconds left.
But also, LeBron has been mad clutch towards the end of his career.
Towards the end, yeah.
In the beginning, maybe, but he has been unreal clutch.
Like, so many game-winning shots.
He's not not clutch.
I just think Kyrie is good in those moments.
He's like...
Yeah, if you got one person you want to take the shot,
Kyrie has an infinite amount of moves.
LeBron's got bully ball, and he's got that step to the side three.
Yeah.
So that's just what it is.
Yeah, it's not that crazy.
People just need shit to talk about, so they talk about it.
And LeBron did, too.
And what bothered me is he was like,
when I read the transcript of his comments,
like, you went through the whole comments and still thought it was an insult.
He said, like, I took it in context, so that makes it even seem more like,
oh, he's not just taking a sound bite.
He's upset with the full context.
I think LeBron just wants to be put with the greats like Kobe and Mike.
He is.
Yeah, but he's not Kobe and Mike, though.
Different genes.
But you could compare Kobe to Mike
more than you could compare LeBron to Mike.
Yeah, I think LeBron is a better player than Kobe,
but Kobe's more Jordan-like.
What?
Yeah, it's not that crazy.
You don't need to react like that.
No, I do.
I do.
How dare you?
Such a strong reaction.
Yeah, you did react,
but you grew up next to me.
It's not even about, even if I didn't, no.
Even if I didn't, I wouldn't think that.
Even if I didn't, I would not think that.
I don't think black people aren't rich.
No, you are so rich, bro.
I hate you.
This girl don't even know what a tunnel is, bro.
That's how rich she is.
You don't even live near a tunnel.
You're like, what would I do in that?
I only fly via private jet.
My chauffeur takes me around.
Exactly.
The windows on the limo are so tinted, I can't even see the road.
Can't see shit.
You are so bougie, dude.
It's unbelievable how bougie you are.
You are mad bougie.
You changed, bro.
You got your hair.
I miss the old Taylor.
She asked for snacks early.
I showed her our assortment of snacks.
She's like, not good enough.
She did do that.
Not good enough, son.
She did do that.
She is unbelievable, bro.
She had to push a T.
Remember when we had the other chair?
That's very funny.
Remember when we had the other chair?
We had that leather chair?
Yeah.
And then she's like, I need something more plush.
Yeah.
She did.
I need something more plush.
Look at her now.
In the future.
A goddamn seashell.
We gave her a fucking seashell.
We had to buy a whole new fucking chair for you.
Why do you make me cheat her every episode?
You're talking to us or your boyfriend right now?
I don't understand.
So the point is, Taylor, you got to stop being so bougie.
This is flagrant too.
Okay?
We're out here.
We're chilling.
This is like regular blue collar Americans. You out here bougie yo this is flagrant too okay we're out here we're chilling this is like blue
regular blue collar americans like you out here bougie as fuck yeah you got a purse hanging off
your mic like all you do is shop name brand look at your fucking computer it's made out of snake
skin that's crazy what's going on taylor you're wearing a scarf It's 90 fucking degrees this time. How bougie is she?
This girl's so bougie.
Just be regular like us.
Yeah, hardworking Americans.
That's it.
Are y'all done?
No, we're not done.
And the question she asks is crazy.
Like, why would people build things?
Just get Mexicans a dick. you are so fucked up dude oh is his name
like he doesn't look like a dog that's how i sound to you i sound like a white girl you are
so bougie yeah dude damn you are so bougie about it like it's crazy. It's really crazy, dude. Can you just come back to earth?
I'm in Allian.
I'm in Allian.
Why do you make me sound like I'm one of the girls from Clueless?
You honestly sound like that.
Yo, that's how much you think you're above us?
Stacey Dash.
That's facts, bro.
Yo, that's facts.
I would like to, though.
See?
I like that.
You flipped your hair, yo. You are so bougie.
She don't even think she's a human being.
That's how much you think she's above us.
I'm an alien.
I can't possibly relate to you fucking mongrels.
You humans.
Yuck.
Whoa, dude.
That part might be true, actually.
I know.
I see it.
I synced it.
I can't believe.
I don't even know
what to say
and I smoked with Snoop Dogg
and that's another
oh I smoked with Snoop Dogg
had the video right
remember when I smoked
with Snoop Dogg
oh you guys didn't do that
oh weird
oh my god
you are a jerk
oh you guys didn't hang out
with Kobe when he was younger
yo you didn't hang out
with Kobe
I'm the one that bought
his backyard hoop
I'm the one that's
in my driveway now
I taught him how to play ball
yo that is crazy when you say you taught Kobe how to play ball.
Yeah, that's wild.
That was fucking crazy.
Just because the age is all off, it don't even make sense.
But the fact that you even said that.
And you got the Mamba case for the fucking computer.
This is crazy.
Purple Mamba.
That's fucking nuts.
Jeez.
Yo, Taylor.
We got to bring you back down.
We have to bring her back down to Earth.
Yeah. I'm waiting to leave Earth, actually. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yo Taylor We gotta bring you back down We have to bring her back down to earth Yeah
I'm waiting to leave earth actually
Oh yeah
Yeah
Where you gonna go
Let's go
Go back to my planet
In a tunnel
I'm really trying to go back to my planet
But
What is your planet
Planet light skin
I can't tell you all
Yo why you acting so light skin
Yo why you acting so bougie and light skin
Taylor what's up with that Oh my god Yo, why you acting so light-skinned? Yo, why you acting so bougie and light-skinned?
What's up with that?
What color is the planet?
It's probably high yellow, ain't it?
High yellow.
You want a Saturn?
First of all, I can't. Mars because it's red now?
Oh, I thought Saturn because it got rings on it because you like jewelry.
Bougie ass.
Oh, there you go.
You're the one that's bougie.
Is that about your wife or your fiance now? Ice skating ring? you go you're the one that's bougie that bought your wife
or your fiance
now
an ice skating ring
yeah you're right
you're right
you're right
you boys bougie too
I didn't say
I wasn't bougie also
okay
I'm working class bougie
yo
I'm a blue collar
bougie
I still got a collar
you know what I mean
I ain't one of these
misfits in a
fucking t-shirt
yeah
and reservations all over town come these misfits in a fucking t-shirt.
And reservations all over town. Come on, bro.
We in the different restaurants.
They got clothing requirements.
I was going to say that. My planet is
under wraps. We're done
with you, yo.
We had enough, dude. Honestly,
we had enough. Time to take a stand.
We gotta take a stand against you, bro.
You're acting crazy.
You are a crazy ass girl.
What did you say literally when you walked in today?
She walked in and she was like, we can start now.
You said that.
We can start now.
Yeah, it's so crazy.
Literally, it was fucked up.
Akash was still out there doing a day shift at Dunkin' Donuts.
It was still working, bro.
Raising up all the lattes, you know what I mean? Yeah, him and Dunk just Donuts it was still working bro bringing up all the lattes
you know what I mean
yeah him and Doug
just working hard
they were working assholes
wait you make him
get the Dunkin Donuts
I don't make him
he goes and gets
himself one
yeah we said
when he offers
to get the rest of it
when you clock out
and it's Dunkin Donuts too
support Brown business Taylor
he supports Brown business
you
I do support Brown business
which one
yeah
buy Brown own
Dunkin Don Donuts.
That's a good point.
I'll give you that.
Yeah, it's decent.
Taylor, I swear to God, Taylor.
You are pushing every one of my last buttons.
I swear to God.
This girl is pushing my buttons.
Like a kid on an elevator.
Like a kid on an elevator.
Just pushing all of them.
That's what I do.
That's what you do, huh?
I love doing that.
Mm-hmm.
All right, guys.
Let's take a break real quick.
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Yo, I've been showering with mine too.
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done. Order your whoop today. Now let's get back
to the show. Alright, what are we talking about
yo? What's up? What else we got?
Come on. Did you guys see this shit?
Oh yeah. What is this?
Can you explain this to me? Mario
Lopez doing a movie. You want to talk
about someone who fucked Jay Paul up maybe? Mario
Lopez could box his ass off.
Really?
For real?
That's how he's in such good shape.
Legit.
He got the body, bro.
He got the body.
He's an alien, though.
Interesting.
I believe that.
He has an age.
Yeah, yo, it's crazy.
Interesting.
Actually, let me take that back because I don't know how tall he is.
He might be small.
He might be in mid-five foot range.
5'10".
Oh, no.
That's tough.
That's a tough matchup right there.
That's a tough matchup.
He old, though.
He got to be in his 50s, right?
So, Recipe for Seduction.
Break this down.
Apparently, he is playing Colonel Sanders.
There's a trailer out.
This is a Lifetime movie.
Cultural appropriation.
That's cultural appropriation.
The title of the movie is Recipe for Seduction.
It is cultural appropriation. That's a good point. The title of the movie is Recipe for Seduction. It is cultural appropriation.
That's a good point.
How many white people we got left?
How many white people we have left to play?
I'm saying.
They say you're going to be the minority soon.
They're going to take away James Bond.
They're going to take away Superman.
I don't know, though.
They're going to take away Colonel Sanders.
If you're a white guy today, audition for roles, and your agent's like, yo, I got you a role.
You're going to be a colonel.
Colonel Sanders.
I don't know if I would take that. but a colonel of fried chicken so you're kind
of bridging the gap the racial you know i mean the racial i'm not gonna lie i don't know
that spanish fried chicken probably slapped me oh my god i would love to know that recipe it's so
good i love spanish chicken spanish fried chicken oh yeah that is a recipe for seduction low-key, dude. Just going around, cracking out.
What?
So, I just don't get why.
I don't understand
the idea even.
Why would anybody
put up money for this?
I think it's a joke movie.
That's my assumption.
It's like Sharknado
or whatever.
But is Lifetime
clever enough for this?
I mean, if they are,
it's hilarious.
So, they're saying yes.
Yes, bro.
Lifetime literally puts out
the same movie over and over again. 10 times a year. They understand what they're doing. You know what I mean? And they are, it's hilarious. So they done with saying yes. Yes, bro. Lifetime literally puts out the same movie
over and over again.
Ten times a year.
Exactly.
They understand what they're doing.
You know what I mean?
And they're like, oh yeah,
let's just throw some fucking silly shit in there
and keep the money coming in.
It's the same thing as when they put those little
thriller movies.
You know what would blow your mind, bro?
The movie Tremors.
I seen that on a plane recently.
It's just only tunnels.
What?
It's just a whole movie of tunnels, bro.
How'd they film it, though? I don't even know what it was. Say what? How'd they film it? I don't know. It's not only tunnels. What? It's just a whole movie of tunnels, bro. How'd they film it?
Say what?
How'd they film it?
I don't know.
It's not only tunnels.
The fucking thing come up out the ground.
Ain't that the one with Kevin Bacon?
Yeah, but don't they make tunnels underground?
Yeah, they be doing a little underground tunneling, but you don't see them.
Well, sometimes you see them at the end.
Also, how they could get through the ground so quick?
It's the worst conversation we've ever had.
No, but I never thought about how the fuck they can get through the ground so quick no but like I never thought about
how the fuck they can get through the ground so quick
that's what scared everybody
god damn they were good
they were nice bro
you're talking about worms or something
kind of
Taylor had enough
I'm sick of this conversation
she decided we're moving on
you are so bougie, yo.
Cut it out.
She was thirsty earlier.
She just goes, water.
Yo.
She just put her hand out.
Water.
That's fucked up.
I'm like, what?
I am thirsty, though.
God.
All right.
Let's move on.
What are we talking about?
Recipe for seduction?
Can we move on from that, too?
All right.
What else we got?
I think we good we finished
we did an app yeah we got the whole thing oh you see the cardi b shit no but i did see that
de blasio is gonna test the vaccine this motherfucker oh i've never hoped that a vaccine
has bad results more yo like wouldn't it be great if he took that shit and just like five percent
oh my god well no no not that he got covid but like half of his body like just went all More? Yo. Like, wouldn't it be great if he took that shit and just like- If he's the 5%? Oh, my God.
Well, no, no.
Not that he got COVID, but like half of his body like just went all rigor mortis or some
shit like that.
That'd be hilarious.
Yeah.
It's like we're rooting against the vaccine.
Yeah.
Also, I'm kind of tight that there's a vaccine.
Why?
Because now you got the antibodies.
I just got my immunity, bro.
Like, let me flex on these hoes a little bit.
How arrogant are you now with immunity?
Oh, dude.
Bro, it's a little crazy. Oh, dude. Bro, I am arrogant. People say, put a mask on. I say, no. Like, let me flex on these hoes a little bit. How arrogant are you now with immunity? Oh, dude. Bro, that's a little crazy.
Oh, dude.
Bro, I am arrogant.
Again, people say, put a mask on.
I say, no.
For what?
I told the dude literally this morning.
This guy was like, when we were walking down the street, he like got all exaggerated.
Me and my girl were walking down the street.
He like exaggerated.
Went all the way to the other side of the street as we walked over and started saying
something through his little mask.
Oh, son.
Look at you talking shit.
That's God.
That's God. You see? Yeah. You see? God's like, mask. Oh, son. Look at you talking shit in the guy's face.
Yo!
You see?
Yeah.
You see?
Guy's like, yo, chill, bro.
Why did this just happen?
You know what's crazy, bro?
This is what's crazy about that.
The book that fell
is the Social Justice Warrior
handbook.
Oh, shit.
By my girl,
Lisa DePasquale.
That is hilarious, bro.
Because I was about to talk shit
about this Social Justice Warrior
who was walking down the street.
That's crazy. Now you're going to change course. How did that're gonna change course well you want a single of me yeah because i oh
you ain't done y'all got ghosts in here wait why did this fall in like that you got now we do have
ghosts in here but we didn't think it was that big of a deal that's why charlamagne
always wants why they just fall into. Why are they just falling in my knees? Why are they? What'd I do?
That's a lot.
That's a lot of scares.
I ain't gonna lie.
That was a son.
I feel like I'm in like a hole.
Should I not finish
telling his story, yo?
Maybe we should move on.
Just tell him on Patreon.
Try one more time.
Let me tell him one more time.
Let's see what's happening.
So this guy.
Dun up.
Dun up.
Dun up.
Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dun up. Dunnup. Dunnup.
Y'all look so excited.
Now that the special is done, he had enough of you.
He's like, I know he's, you're not going to be able to relax until the 18th, 17th or whatever.
Anyway, but yes, this guy tried to mass shame us.
And I was just like, man, I got the antibodies.
There's really no story.
I think that's what was trying to stop.
I think God was just like, there's no end to this, so I'm going to do my best.
He just salt bathed you?
A little bit of spice.
Let's put a little spice in there.
This story needs a little spice.
Point is, it's like, let's fucking go.
We should be able to do Scarlet Letter, but the good one.
Oh, the A for antibodies.
A for, oh!
Let's go.
Killed that.
Let's go.
That would be fire, right?
Let's go.
Everybody's safe around us.
There's nothing that we could do that's bad.
We can't spread it.
We're fucking Gucci.
Oh my Lord, I love this.
Shouldn't we be able to show not only antibodies, but negative tests?
Sorry, positive tests and then 14 days removed?
And then that is how we can go anywhere?
Yeah.
That should be the way that you could travel.
Yeah.
But why isn't it?
I don't know.
I thought it worked. I thought it'd be a negative test from recently i mean i guess they could say false negative blah blah
but if you got antibodies you're good it also might start incentivizing people to go out and
get it so then they could start it's also not an official body you know what i mean like there's
all these different places that are testing that like to have like an actual verified positive
yeah you'd have i don't know how you organize that. Man, those day tests ain't shit.
Y'all are really comfortable.
Like, I'm very...
We know there's ghosts in here, Taylor.
It's fine.
We accept it.
They don't normally get in our way.
It's fine.
Yeah, just talk to them.
Yeah, usually they just fuck with the lights,
but that was a new one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, you're just finding this out?
You're not afraid of aliens,
but you're afraid of ghosts?
Why do you think Charlemagne walks straight
from this room to the Studio B?
Doesn't go in here.
Yeah.
Because we don't record in here? Listen? Doesn't go in here. Yeah. Because we don't
record in here?
Listen,
common logic would think that.
Yeah.
That's why we're recording.
Charlamagne's like,
I'm not doing it in here.
This is flagrant now.
Yup.
Hmm.
What you know about it?
That actually really
guys,
I'm going to stop this podcast
before we run out of steam.
Okay?
Stop it 10 minutes ago.
Yep.
If you're listening now, it's too late.
You've gone too far.
Asshole Army, we love y'all.
We appreciate y'all, man.
I'm sorry, Asshole Army.
Nah, don't be apologetic, man.
We're good.
Everything's good.
It happened for a reason.
Blow this shit up, man.
Blow this fucking shit up.
Let's go out there.
Let's make some waves.
Go out into the watch list.
Spread the word.
December 17th.
Make sure y'all kill this shit.
Also, we'll see you Friday on
Patreon. We are back. Patrons, thank
you so much for fucking with us, man. It's
crazy to see how many of y'all were reaching out
and just being like, yo, just get healthy when you're
ready. We come back. We mean that.
That means a lot to us, man. Thank you so much.
We'll see you on Patreon. We do another episode
every single week on Patreon.com slash flagrant2.
It's only the biggest comedy Patreon in the world.
No big deal.
And you can see us over there.
But again, Netflix, December 17th.
Spread the word.
Thank you so much.
It's great to be back.
Great to talk to y'all.
Well, technically, we're not talking to you, but you know what I mean.
And it's great to be back and hear what you guys, man.
And once again, thank you to everybody who helped out in the special,
worked on the special.
We'll get to those specific thank yous later.
But, yeah, let's do this.
Thank you.
Peace.
Peace.