Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Kim K Saves SNL feat. Neal Brennan
Episode Date: October 12, 2021This week, comedian, writer, producer, director, and podcaster Neal Brennan sits down with the Flagrant crew to discuss: 0:00 - Kim K SNL Monologue 5:00 - Neal’s Ayahuasca Experience 21:00 - Trevor... Noah as a comedian 42:00 - Chappelle’s recent comedy backlash 1:00:00 - Deontay Wilder v Tyson Fury 1:18:00 - Neal met Kobe 1:26:00 - would Neal do another show like Chappelle’s show? 1:56:00 - does crowd size change the comedy? 2:13:00 - Neal's new show Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a choir then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What's up everybody? Welcome to Flagrant 2. It's your boy Schultz.
I'm here with Akash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon.
The truffle is in the building and we have a very special guest.
I've been wanting to get this very special guest on for a very long time.
Finally, he got some free time.
Okay.
And an ankle, some ankle jewelry that is worthy of showing off to millions of people.
I don't want to open with it, though.
It's the other one.
It's the other foot.
Oh, I don't even know.
Yeah, sure you do.
I have so many anklets.
I have so many anklets.
There's no way.
We have Neil Brennan in the building, everybody.
We have Neil Brennan in the motherfucking building.
King of the anklet.
We're going to get to the anklet in a second
I'm sure we have tons of questions about ayahuasca
All this shit but I do want to clear up
A rumor that's going on right now
I told you this earlier but this is a real rumor
The rumor is
That somebody
Not Kim Kardashian
Wrote her monologue
It wasn't penned by Kim but in fact
A writing team was assembled
to write those jokes for her.
Is this true or false?
I have no idea.
Okay.
I have no insight into it whatsoever.
Are you sure you didn't sign an NDA or something?
I didn't sign an NDA.
I didn't.
Some of those jokes,
I wish I wrote.
They were great jokes.
You watched the whole monologue?
I watched the whole monologue.
She actually...
Delivered them well.
Say again?
Delivered them well. she did deliver them cleanly
but you would have to agree
she could have paused
she was a little ahead of it
I like that she didn't pause
I like that she bit the end of the laugh
because usually when you have someone like a politician
or somebody go out there who's never done stand up
they just wait and then it's a restart every single time
she was able to build some momentum because she was
catching i think she could have increased the pleasure from the audience by 30 percent
she didn't even it was one of these things we're like what the fuck is happening fuck the audience
like what is happening this is so good and by the end of it you're like i think she this lady just did 14 perfect jokes in a row
i think she really doesn't give a fuck about snl she i think you know what i mean like yeah i think
the last joke she's never seen another monologue before she'd never seen it so she was like good
enough yeah what do i do i just go and i say before i shit on my entire family in existence
yeah let's go oh wait when i talk guys laugh yeah exactly yeah i remember this yeah from
the from the 2000s before i met kanye yeah did you write on it i had nothing to do with it because a
buddy of mine i told you hit me up and he was like i saw neil chris rock and blake griffin
at the mercer having lunch yeah we were we were working we were trying to help kim kardashian
like guys we need to help kim those are the three i would choose blake griffin what a look that is for blake griffin to be like they got the best
writers on earth they got new friends they got chris rock and of course they got blake griffin
yeah yeah uh yeah no good for him he and then they were in the sketch and so i don't think uh i have
no idea who wrote it and then somebody told me, I think Schumer wrote it and Seth Rogen
somehow was involved. I have no idea.
But I think
the
I think
I think the
They got a bunch of people
They got funny people that are writing there.
Sam Jay.
Amy Schumer. Keep the jokes.
Keep them.
Anyway.
Okay.
I just need to clear that rumor up before we start the podcast.
I need to know about this huge life change that you went through because I'm curious
about ayahuasca.
I don't know if you know this, but I had the shaman, Shaman Omar, on a podcast where we're
in Miami.
I was this close to doing ayahuasca.
Why didn't you?
I didn't feel like I needed it.
You were wrong.
Tell me.
I'm here to tell you that you were wrong.
Which one's Shaman Omar?
Is he good looking?
Yes.
Afghan guy, part Afghan, part something else.
One of them's like an eight or a nine.
Maybe Shaman Omar.
Can we bring a picture of Shaman Omar?
Because he's my friend.
Heart seven.
Heart seven.
What are you?
What are you?
What do you consider yourself?
What do I consider myself?
Eleven.
100%.
Oh, yeah.
That surprised me.
Why up?
What am I?
Fuck it.
We're here.
Let's go.
What are you?
Well, first of all, I look at Akash and...
Soft nine.
Wow, thank you.
Soft, though.
I look at...
He gave you a weak nine.
How soft?
You're a weak nine.
You're a hard eight and a soft nine.
That's disrespectful.
No, this is actually really good.
What is Akash?
When we get to dub, is he going to break his heart?
He's going to break his heart.
Let's make him laugh.
What is Akash?
What is Akash?
And judge him on a light man's skin.
I'm judging him on the fact that people have said that.
I'm Indian, 13.
This is a little bit like looking in the mirror.
A little bit.
That's right.
That's right.
People have said this a long time.
You're white Akash.
That's a huge Indian.
You're Indian Neil
Dude it is actually true
Can he put on the bifocals
Facial structure
Now with the beard
I can see
Yes
Wait a minute speaking of this Mike
Yeah exactly
Do you feel better than everyone yet
I feel richer for sure there you go uh so wait a minute what is our cost
out of telling what we if i'm a nine i mean you're not a nine i i
inflated myself i inflated you
your distance a two-point discount discount on everybody even inflating everybody
he still rated himself two points higher than you
I would give you a point
and then if you include
you're on the board
he's saying
give me a point higher
just for one point away
just in fucking delusional confidence
alone
lie to yourself it works
that's important I'll give you an Indian 7 Just in fucking delusional confidence alone. He's got me right there. Lie to yourself. It works. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, that's important.
I mean, I'll give you an Indian 7.
Indian 7?
What is happening?
Again, I don't know what it means, but I'm saying Indian 7.
What does it mean?
It sounds racist, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Prove it.
Yeah, yeah.
Prove how that's racist.
If it's a real Indian 7, I'll negotiate it to a 10.
What were the next two numbers you were going to say after that? 11. Wasve it. Yeah, yeah. Prove how that's racist. If it's a real Indian 7, I'll negotiate it to a 10. What were the next two numbers you were going to say after that?
11.
Was that it?
I'll give you an Indian 7-11 for sure.
The 11 is silent.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, so Indian 7.
One time we were at a hotel.
Fine, I'm passing.
I met Akash and his family at a hotel.
And this is in Times Square.
And the hotel had put them in room 711.
Dead ass.
It's happened multiple times.
And they'd never been more at home.
Never.
Am I wrong?
I did love the hotel.
Yeah, they loved it.
And it's happened multiple times since.
Really?
Multiple times.
And I don't think I would have noticed if it wasn't for you.
But now I'd be like, oh, this is a thing.
That's what you need white people for, to point out racism. At least I haven't gotten 9-11.
Yeah.
Yeah, they could have put you...
Follow!
Follow is two floors up, having a party, dude.
Okay. Mark?
Oh, Mark is a...
I mean, it depends on where you are.
That's a good point.
If we're in New York, this look
doesn't work. It doesn't do anything for you.. That's a good point. There's like, if we're in New York, this look doesn't work.
It doesn't do anything for you.
In Williamsburg, it works.
Williamsburg, yeah.
But in most parts of the, like Philly, you're eight.
I'd give them $5.
The South, you're like.
Bring me on an Indian scale.
How do I do an Indian?
I mean, Indian.
Am I an Indian nine?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
He's fair-skinned.
He's got blue eyes
yeah like
I'll go 8 I think you're a point better
looking than me needed that
alright so I'm leaving the boards right now
Neil not letting anybody have more than one point
let's don't get ahead of yourself
he's one point away
ankle bracelet Neil's crazy dude
he's a wild boy
okay what about Al though I'm like playoff P ankle bracelet neil's crazy dude okay what about al though i'm i'm like playoff p um ankle bracelet
neil is uh al let me why are you wearing the hat bad hairline or you got good just i'm growing it
out i'm growing it up oh shit no no that's gonna work that'll do. Seven. Yo, son.
I'll take it.
And you're not even standing, bro.
Nah, I'll take it.
You like the seven?
I mean, he gave...
I got you some beautiful ass eyes.
He sure does.
He sure does.
So who's a 10 to you?
What guy's a 10?
We forget that Neal spends a lot of time in Hollywood.
Like Brad Pitt.
Yeah, he's hot.
Okay. Yeah, he's hot.
Okay.
Yeah, like Brad Pitt, you see him and you're like,
fuck. You don't think Mark's got Brad Pitt?
No, give me time.
You just said Momoa. Momoa, you're like a shitty white Momoa.
He just couldn't?
He just couldn't?
You're like an aquaman, but you can only go
down 10 meters.
You can scuba dive.
Yeah.
Tony's certified.
Tony Hinchcliffe said I look like Jason Momoa in the commercial where he takes all his muscles off.
And then you started doing creatine every single day.
Yeah, non-stop, dude.
This is motivation.
Non-stop, juice.
This is motivation.
Okay, what about Dove?
Keep in mind, I know Dove looks Persian.
Jewish?
He's actually Jewish. Of course. Okay, what about Dove? Keep in mind, I know Dove looks Persian. Jewish? He's actually Jewish.
Of course.
Okay, of course.
He's got the posture.
He's got Jewish laptop posture.
Yeah, because you're hypochondriac Jewish.
You got the spring cords, no socks.
Are you wearing the hidden socks?
Okay. Your style, you wearing the hidden socks? Okay.
Your style, you've got an eight for style.
He's a gay eight.
Wow.
Looks-wise, I got to take you below.
I'm taking you to a six.
I'm sorry.
Okay, fine.
I'm sorry.
It's me, Jake Villanhal.
Ryan Gosling.
Ryan Gosling.
The other one.
Gosling's a 10.
He's a 10?
Ryan Reynolds.
Ryan Reynolds.
I think I got Gosling, dude.
You don't got Gosling.
I think I got Gosling. Hold on.
I think I got Gosling.
Son, your lips got thinner long story but gosling sublet my place one time when i had a place in new york
and for like six months or something and when i came back the motherfucker left books of poetry
in my house was like oh this this gets as good as advertised like reading
poetry in that lot of candles poetry then you can't do that which one is gosling again the gay
one clearly yeah you just compare yourself to him the notebook the notebook is gossip yeah but now
he's kind of like tough he does like a new york accent in his movies a little bit he does like a
fake new york accent like he's from vancouver he's yeah he's a disney kid he's
like he's a timberlake yeah mickey mouse club but good choice i like the accent yeah i think it's
worth it i still think i got him by half a point can hollywood no he looks like something you cut
to schultz son you can cut to me boy you cut to schultz you'll get you'll deliver you think you're
better looking than me okay on my scale, yeah. On my scale.
He does this Jewish scale.
He thinks he's a Jewish.
J-Date?
Yeah.
He's getting swaps.
Are you a doctor?
Bow your head for a second.
Show the top of your head to Neil.
Just for a second.
Just the top part.
Oh, wow.
You're actually doing well.
Are you taking pills?
Oh, yeah, dude. Not all. I don't know how I, wow. You're actually doing well. Is that the, are you taking pills? Oh, yeah, dude.
Yeah.
Not all.
I don't know how I avoided it.
I was doing great.
Yeah, you actually still have hair.
I used to yank it.
I don't know if that helped.
For what?
Like, I read an article where they said Anthony Perkins from Psycho used to pull his hair and that kept him going bald.
And I started when I was like 19.
It may have nothing to do with anything. But I do it and it's uh i think the hair speaks for itself
is baldness in your family not really okay that probably has more to do with it than
1962 i think it's anthony perkins from psycho
oh there's shaman omar handsome yeah he's good looking yeah okay uh okay so let's talk about this ayahuasca trip
because i was i was literally about to do it and then i felt like i didn't need it and a lot of the
people i was speaking to that were doing it had basically said that they were having a lot of
trouble moving past traumatic events in their life yeah they reached some sort of blockage
and i'll be honest when i was in miami i was at the happiest part of my life so yeah i i felt like i was almost like abusing if i use it i was like
oh this is a fun goofy trip right and i'm like i don't want to go into this territory unless i need
it but again i might have gotten it wrong you're also like uh i would say a legitimately crazy
shallow person no a legitimate a legitimately like not you're not neurotic or complicated
right you're not like you don't have any inner life you just go i'm great good night um
so what were you like before the ayahuasca
this is happy needle he just said you have no inner life um you're not very you're just
not calm in a good way like i wish i i crave this so you may not need it yes um it to me
my experience it by the way it bores the shit out of people so it's like telling people about
your dreams like right and then you were there it's not that interesting but i will say that uh it i it was the first spiritual experience
i'd ever had you believe in god now i do because of taking really will smith's got a book coming
out he talks about it he said it's the uh the the only pure freedom he's ever felt
was doing ayahuasca.
And he told me about it like five years ago.
Yeah.
And I was just like, eh.
And then somebody else, Rock, texted me about it.
Rock texted me an article from the New York Times.
What an asshole.
We're so old, we get our drug ideas from the New York Times.
And then I got the guy.
He said it's the only freedom he's ever felt.
Yeah, the only true freedom he's ever felt.
And he can fuck around on his wife.
Yeah.
He has an open relationship with his wife.
And he still needs to turn to boil plants.
Yeah, but that's because he was retaliatory fucking around.
You don't think he was fucking around first?
Can we just, you know what I mean?
Did you guys talk about this endlessly?
We wouldn't do that.
No, not endlessly, but we were really disappointed.
No, no, not I.
Will, I mean, who knows what's going on there?
Yeah, you do.
I actually don't know.
Really? No.
I don't care who people are fucking, really. I do.
It's really important, actually, to me.
I just don't care.
I just am good for you.
You know,
Andrew.
We had dinner the other
night, and Neil pulled up with
a guy and a girl.
And the girl
was a famous actress. I won't say the name.
And then Ben.
Great company.
But when they all pulled up, I was like,
Neil's this?
Am I Neil?
Yeah, I do alright.
I do a decent business.
Soft nine. yeah I do alright I do a decent business like imagine Akash white but with credits yes
I feel like a kid
who like came to get water
like I was sleeping
and the parents were having a party and I just came out and said mean shit
to everybody like and you're ugly.
What's Vala?
Oh boy. I was hoping we wouldn't
get to this.
I don't know. You're Afghan?
Pakistani Afghan.
How do you say that in English?
I don't know.
I mean,
six?
What do you need?
What do you need?
What do you need?
What do you need?
What's going to make you feel good?
What do you need?
Talk to me.
I love you.
Back to Ayahuasca. Ayahuasca. I said nine to you and you were like, all right.
I knew that there was something wrong.
He's on drugs. He's on drugs right now.
He's got a fucking ankle brace.
Why are we taking this guy seriously?
I said he was an eight or a nine.
Trevor's a 10.
Trevor Noah's a 10.
Trevor Noah's a 10?
Yeah.
Really?
Yes.
Interesting.
In person, like he, like, I was with, I mean, yeah, like girls are like, like something
happens.
Really?
Yeah.
No, I saw him speak Zulu one time and I was like, okay.
Yeah.
He speaks so many languages.
Like he's just.
Yeah.
He does like the click with the speaking.
I was going to go with the click.
That's another one called Mosa.
I know the click.
Mosa.
He's saying a song with the click.
It was on some British panel.
His mom speaks it.
I hadn't read his book. I've been friends for 10 years.
I was like, it was great.
Born of Crime. Yes. Talks about crime in a way years read his book i was like i it was great really and i was expecting nothing born a crime
yes yeah um i always talks about crime in a way white people would understand because he was kind
of a hustler for a couple years which i was totally surprised by all right guys we're gonna
take a break for a second i am very excited to share with you our newest partner public is the
shit okay public.com you can go there but public is the shit and let me
tell you why first of all this is where you're going to be doing your investing online from now
on all right and i'm going to tell you why you're going to do it there because public is not like
these other piece of shit companies that sell off your investing data to the highest bidder to these
other hedge funds now if you don't know this but some of these other companies that i'm contractually
required to not say the
names of, but I think you fucking know which ones they are, will basically allow you to make trades.
Then before those trades go in, a fraction of a second before they go in, will sell that data to
these hedge funds and then allow these hedge funds to make their trades before yours even get in
based on your data. That's fucked up. That's cheating. That is dishonest. And you shouldn't be supporting those businesses.
Okay, it's absolute bullshit.
I think you should take your money away
from those businesses
and you should put that shit in public
because public is not doing that, okay?
They're not whoring you out
like these other companies do.
They keep your info private.
There it is.
They keep your shit private.
But you know what they do do?
They keep a lot of public information out there.
Like for example, other investors on the app.
It's almost like a social media platform.
So basically, you can see the other people and what they're investing in.
I would like to know what the fuck Mark Cuban is investing in.
That'd be pretty nice.
Would love to.
That seems like a very rich guy.
Oh, you're putting money in these three stocks?
Well, maybe I'll do that on a Monday.
Now, I'm not saying you should do that.
But do you want to follow the moves of rich people?
You might end up rich.
I'm just saying.
And if you have access to all these other people and information about the reasons why they're
investing in these different stocks, et cetera, you will be in a much better position. I know for me,
I'm fucking financially illiterate. So I'm terrified every time I'm investing in something.
I would love to be able to follow successful people and listen to what they have to say.
Okay. They have a, basically a clubhouse feature.
We don't like to say clubhouse on here
because it's an absolutely dogshit app,
but they have a clubhouse feature within public
that allows you to tap into these conversations,
allows you to be learning about these different ideologies
and philosophies when it comes to investing.
There's a lot of resources that are available to you,
the investor on this app already,
and they're doing the right thing with your data, which is not whoring you out to the fucking highest bidder.
Public.com, I'm telling you, it's the place to go. You should actually do it, okay? Get the big
picture curated themes that let you navigate the market, okay, the way that you see the world.
You can invest with built-in educational features
that help you learn as you go, and you invest safely with volatility reminders that call out
riskier investments. If you're about to do some dumb shit, they're going to let you know. Now,
if you want to do it, that's on you, but they're at least going to tap you on the shoulder and be
like, what the fuck are you doing, okay? They are being honest, and I like that. They also
have cryptocurrency on it, okay? They just added the crypto, so you can get in that crypto game.
I know Akash is all over it, so he can do all his crypto investing right there in public.
So what we're saying to you right now on this podcast is start investing with as little as $1,
and you get a free slice of up to $70, a free slice of stock up to $70 when you join public.com today.
Pick from nine popular stocks.
They got Beyond, Disney, Peloton, Tesla, Shopify, Zoom, Apple, Amazon. And then what is this last
one, Dovitz? Spy ETF. Ah, Spy ETF. What exactly is that? Ah, it's the S&P. Listen, I'm sure there's
a clubhouse room you can listen to on there. It's going to explain it to you, but I'm not going to
tell you because I know absolutely nothing about investing. Okay. I'm learning through public. This is the place
that I'm deciding to go. Okay. So you can do that. You can get for it. Remember you can get
that slice of stock up to $70. Okay. When you start by investing as little as $1, but I have
to tell you, you go to public.com slash flagrant to download the app and sign up. That is public.com slash flagrant.
Now, this is a mandatory disclaimer.
This is valid for U.S. residents 18 and up,
and it's subject to account approval.
See public.com slash disclosures.
This is not investment advice.
Now let's get back to the show.
Anyhow, ayahuasca.
You refuse to talk about U.S. ayahuasca.
No, it was my third journey.
I was like, oh oh i'm in the
presence of uh god right now and then first two times nothing happened first two times was just
nice first two times when do you take chris third time chris i took the first time and the
my like eighth time okay and both of our first times were like nice yeah his my eighth time was good his
second time his entire being exploded in front of me and it's the one of the greatest things i've
ever seen now did he start saying he was retarded after this or like no remember him he was doing
that whole thing where he was like, I'm retarded. He had a learning disability. Yeah. He had a learning disability.
No.
He came out and he said he was a little,
he was like, I'm retarded a little bit.
He has a learning disability called nonverbal learning disability.
Okay.
You just made up the end.
No, it's nonverbal.
You did.
It's nonverbal because I think it's actually, it's disorder.
I think it's nonverbal learning disorder,
but I was trying to get with you.
Yeah, yeah.
But he did try to say he's retarded.
I don't like that.
He didn't.
Yeah, no, those were his exact words.
He went on CNN.
That's true, yeah.
He just went on The Breakfast Club, and he was like, I found out I'm a little retarded.
Yeah.
And then that was his-
You're actually one of the most brilliant people I've ever met.
He's literally, my whole life I've been like, guys, this guy's so fucking brilliant, and
now he's saying he's retarded.
And then he turns out-
Now what does that make me?
If I'm looking up to a retard a little bit.
Yeah, a little bit.
Not full.
Then you're full.
I've got to be full.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
That's what we all are.
We're full.
Yeah.
You retarded us all.
You made Chris Rock retarded.
I un-retarded him.
Whoa.
I took him out of retard.
I took him out of the jungle and brought him into the jungle
of retardation
and brought him
to the big city
so now it's like I have a thing
I believe in God
every day I kind of just check in
I now believe I'll go a step further that I am a spirit Every day, I kind of just check in.
I now believe, I'll go a step further, that I am a spirit in a body.
What did you think before? I just happen to be in this body.
But I'm like an eternal spirit.
A good body.
I mean, a hell of a body.
I sent him a picture one time.
He was talking shit.
You're talking enough shit, I'll send you a picture.
Thank you, sir.
I'll send you a photo thank you i'll send you a photo give me your number
he's got one picture one morning yeah i got one yeah i got fucking stock photos
stock good photos of myself shredded uh oil looking shredded this is post ayahuasca
uh i was during you know it's all i don't even know anymore. Time's a construct, Andrew.
Yeah, exactly right.
So now I just am like,
I'm a spirit in this body,
and when I die, it will not be the end.
You say it as if I'm going to go,
I know.
Well, that's how it feels.
I'm used to that.
Yeah.
It's like describing Game of Thrones to someone who's never seen used to that yeah it's like uh describing uh game of thrones to
someone who's never seen it yeah that's funny like you know back the day before it was this
popular thing you're like yeah there's dragons and yeah but not like bad dragons yeah i hate
dragons yeah no these dragons are fucking they smoke cigarettes they're super cool but it was
a transformative experience yes and yes I think you're happier.
Yeah, I do too.
But not as if you're putting it on.
I just think it's like when I hung out with you and you were happy, it just kind of feels like that is your main line.
I felt like I had a heavy plate on my forehead that's kind of gone.
It still looks like I have a migraine.
That's never going to change, guys.
That stays.
But you would just feel that just day to day before ayahuasca,
just like there's just this fucking weight, right?
Yeah, I've stopped taking antidepressants.
Really?
Yeah, since I did it.
Because you can't take them and do it. That's why you have to purge your body of everything, right? Yeah, you've stopped taking antidepressants. Really? Yeah, since I did it. Because you can't take them and do it.
That's why you have to purge your body of everything, right?
Yeah, you just have to.
Basically, if you take ayahuasca, there's such a release of serotonin that if you SSRIs,
keep serotonin in your body.
If you take ayahuasca, you can get something called serotonin syndrome, which is incredibly
rare, but possible.
Right. get something called serotonin syndrome which is incredibly rare but possible right so now i uh
feel i just feel better day to day would you recommend to someone who is chronically depressed
i would recommend it to every single human being even if someone like even unless you're like
bipolar i would recommend it and even somebody's working on making it safe for bipolar people really it's dude it is a fucking wild experience it's
i can't even explain it's like it's like the difference between reading the bible yeah and
then being noah you're you're in you're you're in the presence of... Dream state? Eternity.
I mean, it's not... Are you able to...
Are you lucid?
Yeah.
Is it...
Okay, so...
You're lucid, yeah.
Sometimes you're not, but sometimes you're...
Like, you can always get up and go to the bathroom, shit like that.
You can always...
The people that do purge, the few...
I've only purged once out of very little.
Yeah.
But, yeah, like, you're... What do you say is people throw up? People, yeah hand, like very little. Yeah. Uh, but yeah,
like you're,
you're people throw up people.
Yeah.
They,
you,
you have a bucket and you throw up.
But the weird thing is,
this sounds crazy is you throw up a,
an idea.
My friend threw up his mother's hatred of him.
Yeah.
I've heard that.
Yeah.
I threw up the one time I did throw up an apology to the earth for
pollution i have no you know what i mean like a thing that i was like a but but i know people
that have purged up like i like feelings wait a minute hold on hold on can we go back to your
yeah yeah yeah now i'm a now i'm***ing. The rest of it's kind of cool. I ain't playing this shit.
That was your blockage?
Plastic?
No, it was your turd.
Oh, so many CFCs in my Arizona.
What am I doing?
The turtles.
So you threw up the apology, meaning you apologize or you no longer have to apologize.
No, I apologize like I just felt sorry.
or you no longer have to apologize?
No, I apologize like I just felt sorry.
Ayahuasca is a... They say it's a woman.
It's a feminine spirit that you're kind of interacting with.
Yeah.
And Ayahuasca did it to another friend of mine
where she showed her a bunch of just awful shit
about pollution and goes,
puke.
Like, fuck you for doing this.
And she goes, ah.
That's how you apologize? You pollute
the ground?
She hasn't worked out a perfect
system yet.
Into the waterway, where the fish
lives.
It's not a perfect system.
Can I just burp or something?
Okay, so then you stop trying to pollute.
Well, no, I haven't really changed anything.
You said you stopped eating meat.
Well, no, I haven't eaten meat for 10 years.
I've already been on this.
So this is something you already felt guilty about.
You kind of started caring about the environment.
And this is not like some L.A. people
have to develop things that they care about so they feel like good this is not like some la people have to develop things that
they care about so they feel like good human beings while they watch like homeless people
living in tents down the block this is a real thing uh the apology no not the apology like
you actually do care about the environmentalism oh yeah i mean as much as an american you're kind
of trapped yes you're like i have the electric car. I've had electric cars.
I don't eat meat.
I buy carbon offsets when I fly.
I like do this shit.
But like Amazon, if you order from it, there's so many traps.
Yeah, you're doing the best you can, which is fine.
But you know how like Leo cares about the environment.
And again, I don't know the fucking guy, but I assume he's's like what's the one issue i can care about and then not piss off
half the country into not attending my movie right oh the environment all right but he's been
into it for since for long for like forever sluts on private jets around the fucking world
yeah it's like his carbon footprint is massive of course really care i know well that's the problem with being
it's hard to be an environmentalist and and great because you're on the these private jets yeah
and you want to be i mean he probably bars i was talking to like a really rich person that it's
like you would have premises what was it uh is about uh like uh i'm not uh i'm not sexist uh but
mother nature oh no one's more sexist, but Mother Nature.
Oh, no one's more sexist than Mother Nature. What Mother Nature does to women
with the bleeding and the cramps and the fucking
they're smaller than us
and yeah, it's awful.
They gotta get burnt like, okay.
But I'm sexist because
I did this to you.
Because I said comedian.
But yeah, so the – I mean that's just what I got once.
I mean other times I like felt like – it was actually really funny.
Like I felt connected to my mother and I was like I have my mom's – my dad's hardware my mom's software and i told my mom
like hey i did this uh basically drug and it and i found the way to hack parents approving of drugs
i go uh it made me love you more oh and then four days later she emails me, can the whole family do it? Not even kidding.
Would your mom do it?
Would you take your mom?
Her mind would get so blown.
She's on the cusp of, she's 87.
So maybe just wait.
Yeah, you're about to see God.
Yeah, you want to make God give you a little? Wow.
You guys are a bad influence on me, by the way. Yeah, you want to make God give you a little... Wow. You can't wait five years.
You guys are a bad influence on me, by the way.
You guys are bringing this out of me.
All this male energy, like, yeah.
Yeah, fuck the environment.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I didn't realize how fucked up a statement that was.
But you're literally looking like,
if this thing made me see God,
then you look at your own mom. My mom's not law for this world.
What's my mom got?
Best four or five years? Top?
Do you think about that, though?
If your mom's got five more years
and you see her twice
a year, maybe three times a year?
I'm going to start crying if we do this, Matt.
Ten total times?
Somebody did this
where you're only going to see your mom
or dad like 13 more times.
I saw it on
TikTok. It was like a therapy thing
and it was about taking advantage of those moments.
There's so much therapy on TikTok I keep hearing.
Thanks, Sharla.
Huh? Sharla.
Yeah, that's who feeds it to us?
He made sure. He made sure it's all over TikTok.
Good, good, good. That's our guy.
And I thought about
like that and i was like wow imagine seeing your mom 30 more times or even seeing your mom
10 total more times yeah yeah i mean there's nothing time is a motherfucker man like it's
just like you you can't really think about it that much. But now I believe like, oh, this is just, I'll see you.
You believe in an afterlife?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Again, this is all new.
I love that.
I want afterlife.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe, in my head, I have like the end of, you know how The Matrix has like four endings?
It's like he does a monologue like, I know you're out there.
And then like, then he's, they he's – they have too many enemies.
When he flies away, that's how I feel kind of like what's going to happen.
I'm not going to fly away.
But I just don't – I don't know.
That's just what I – now that's what I think.
Based on this communion with that world.
Interconnectivity with Mother Nature, the Earth, spirituality.
Yeah, like it's all kind of one thing and the spirits and the, I don't know.
That's what everybody seems to say.
Like when I talk to the shaman, when I talk to other people who've done it,
they feel this sense of being like connected to something greater.
And I think a lot of the times it's very difficult for people that exist
just in the world right now who are not religious to feel connected to something greater and i think a lot of the times it's very difficult for people that exist just in
the world right now who are not religious to feel connected to something greater like it's super
easy to be isolated especially you you don't have any kids yeah i mean it's like you're existing
kind of alone yeah as sad as that fucking sounds so the feeling of the feeling of being like rooted
into something greater that's transformative it's better that I, I'm just like, oh, this is better.
Yeah.
Than like atheism being like this,
like I always said I was an atheist the way
like a eight-year-old kid is a runaway
where I'm like, all right, I'm leaving.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like trying to get God to be like, Neil, wait.
Like, all right, I was good.
But now I'm, yeah, now I just believe in it
and it's just as boring
as anyone else's beliefs.
Yeah.
But at least I have like a,
like,
yeah,
I drank a thing
and then now this.
What about kids?
You think you,
maybe kids?
I don't think so.
Really?
Yeah.
Why not?
Why not?
I don't,
I'm just not inspired to have them.
Like,
the ways I've been inspired
to be in comedy
and whatever the shit
I've done in my life,
like,
I just, I don't know. I don't, I'm not moved to be in comedy and whatever the shit I've done in my life. Like, yeah, I just I don't know.
I don't I'm not moved by it.
I'm also the I think part of it is I'm the youngest.
So I never had like a baby.
You know what I mean?
I never had that kind of relationship.
But you have to have like nieces and nephews.
Yeah, I got mad.
Nieces and nephews, actually.
And you think that's like enough?
Well, the other thing is they're not that much younger than me.
One of my nephews was in LA, and I brought him to a restaurant.
I'm like, this is my nephew.
And everyone's like, hey.
And I go, he's here on a business trip.
He's 34.
Stop talking like that.
Yeah, like, hey, you get out.
You like LA?
Do you go to Disney World?
Yeah, I'm a vendor there.
So, yeah, I don't think it's gonna
happen are you doing it yeah well i mean i haven't started but like i'm getting married in december
and it's something i've always wanted to have i never thought i wouldn't uh actually there was a
time in my life where i thought i was going to be a bachelor and i just accepted it yeah i don't
think it's i don't think it's uh i don't
i won't if i never get married i don't think my life will be incomplete well now you're part of
this bigger thing so you can't right i'm just saying once you realize you're part of this
bigger thing you know having children i would imagine i haven't had them yet but like you start
to feel like oh my god i'm seeing myself in my kids then you have this understanding of your
parents that you never would have had until you have your own craziest thing yeah it's like kids chappelle one time said
it's impossible to see a baby born and be an atheist he also has a fucking hilarious line
about it too which was when i saw my son come out of my wife's vagina i thought man i've been using that thing all wrong um so uh so yeah so uh i i was not gonna have kids before ayahuasca but now yeah i feel
i don't i don't know i don't think that that's a person's purpose that's not my purpose yeah
how often do you do it you still do it regularly i haven't
done it in like time or something yeah i haven't done it in like two and a half months how often
have you done it how many times uh i thought it was something you did once and then it's
like it's up to you i mean i i was i mean some people it's like do it every some people do it
every six weeks really some some people have done it thousands of times but uh the the the uh the shaman does it
yeah i mean he's you know ripped and beautiful but uh yeah every single time he does it yeah
you have to like they don't drink as much but yeah um crazy so yeah i haven't done it in two
and a half months but but i will i think i'll probably do it less often because I was afraid it would wear off, like the sort of energy shift.
It's not even euphoria.
It's just a better spirit.
And I thought it would wear off, and it's been two and a half months, and it hasn't worn off.
Amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a – I'm just curious, like, if it affects you creatively.
Like, do you think that you're funnier now?
I've written jokes on it that work.
Really?
Yeah.
I thought of a hilariously bad movie idea on it, which was, I won't even get into how crazy I get on it, but like my body shape, whatever.
Oh, you convulse?
I don't convulse.
I'll explain it now. And this isn't going to be like, it's more like, what? Yeah, whatever. Um, but I don't can, I'll, I'll explain it now.
And this is going to,
this isn't going to be like,
it's more like what?
Um,
I thought of a movie idea of sharks versus mermaids.
You know what I mean?
No,
yeah,
it's not bad.
Animated something,
whatever.
I'm never going to write it.
That's for the,
that's for the streets.
The animated was going to convince us.
Oh,
it's not animated. I mean, I was like, don't be a funny movie. Sharks versus mermaids. It's was going to convince us. Oh, it's not animated.
Don't be a funny movie.
Sharks vs. Mermaids.
Trust me, I've got better movies than that.
Please.
I don't have to explain myself to you.
This podcast is over.
Fuck you guys.
Where were we supposed to go?
Sharks vs. Mermaids.
You're all a piece of shit.
Also, mermaids. Give him ayahuasca immediately. You're all piece of shit. Also, mermaids win, right?
Yeah, of course they win.
I mean, they've got to be way smarter.
It doesn't look like they're going to,
but of course they ultimately do at the end of the day.
Oh, the third movie of the Avengers?
Yeah.
That's the Judaism right there.
And when we start doing product,
I mean, we're going to make money.
I mean, I can see the merch.
I'm talking to a merch guy right now.
So, yeah, my shoulder shake.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Ooh.
I like that.
Yeah, they shake for like four hours straight.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay, Neil.
Did you ever get emotional?
Oh, yeah.
Did you find yourself like weeping at any point yeah
fuck yeah i was i've gotten i i i was mourning a friend of mine so badly when i i thought when
i turned my phone on they were gonna be dead wow that's how like i was like i don't want to turn
my phone on because i'm this the only way this makes sense is
if is if they actually they're dead and did you connect with them afterwards like yo i had yeah
about you oh this is fucking really funny so in terms of people so named robbie it's me so i have
to um so uh when me and rock were doing it, I was like, doesn't this remind you of Erica
Badu?
I was like, doesn't it fucking.
And he's like, yes.
He's like, I literally just thought I have to go spend time with her.
Like something about it is in that, like just whatever Erica is, is like, uh, it's like
connected to it.
Right.
So I feel that way about Duval i i mean that sincerely i know
exactly what you mean no no i that's weird i've never had anybody describe this board but like
every time i hang out with them i feel like i have this experience i feel like that way after
going to burning man it's not like this like oh my god like my life has changed but i feel like i
have a little bit more clarity and i'm talking to someone who really understands the things that
i'm saying but also understands on a different level.
And I can kind of communicate them better afterwards.
And that's so interesting that they're like these certain people who are like almost like organic shamans.
Like they don't know they're shamans.
Absolutely.
Wow.
Like fucking absolutely.
Every experience I've had with Badu has been like weird.
Like so. But I also forget she's funny so yeah i after the next
day i leave her a like long voice memo going like hey i just did it uh and we had a moment at dave's
mark twain thing where she just i got off stage and and I was kind of emotional from it. Yeah, yeah.
And she just looked at me and was like, baby.
And it was literally like fucking...
Goosebumps a little bit.
Yeah.
And so I leave her voice memo,
like telling her thank you for that moment,
and she texts me back, wrap it up.
I go, you motherfucker. She's funny. back wrap it up what did you think about the backlash to uh speaking of dave uh i don't it's
just if it's it's like you can almost just write it up you can just write up what's gonna happen
who's gonna say what yeah who's gonna it's cause for concern but it's never it's just that's like the theater of it the the uh
you just know what's everything is pretty like predictable outcome yeah there's mark just
finished it like we did a podcast last week and then mark just finished it and then you brought
up a really good point mark and i'll let you articulate it, but about like they're disagreeing on different things,
the two communities.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it seems like I likened it to like the abortion debate that like you have one side that's like you hate women.
The other side is like you're killing kids.
It's like they're not arguing on the same,
like what it even means to disagree.
So when it comes to the trans issue,
it's like one side is saying by saying that gender is a biological fact, you are making me invisible as a trans person.
You're saying I don't exist, and it minimizes me and my community, and that's what I consider transphobic, I guess, is one side of the trans argument.
And then the other side is, I guess, like, oh, I love you, and I'm accepting accepting you and i don't want you to be discriminated
against i don't want any legislation against you as a trans person but also i think you're kind of
crazy and that's what it feels like the other side is that like i'm not gonna hurt you i don't i'm
not transphobic i don't hate you i'm not afraid of you but also like you know come on let's be
honest like it's a guy and it's a girl and you're just like playing dress up or something or like
you have dysphoria you have some mental disorder yeah so like the trans community is basically
saying yo if you don't think trans is real that's transphobic
right and then everybody else and i'm putting that in quotes but like the majority of people
are just like i'm not transphobic i don't want them to die i don't want them to get beat up
but do i think that it's there it's real or i think they're making it up well this is also
one of those things of like now we're getting of like, abortion's a great analogy for it,
which is, you know what I realized a while ago
about abortion?
I don't fucking know.
It is great.
It's not that expensive.
I'll talk to you after the show.
I got pills. I got a lot of stuff.
Plan A is ayahuasca. I got a con i got pills i got a lot of stuff um but uh i got a guy i got a plan a is ayahuasca
i got a concoction um but they you i don't fucking know i don't know what you are now a woman and you
are not a one you're i don't fucking know i don't know what you got an idea no no but what i'm
saying is like like abortion where it's like people go,
I know when it's a life
and when it isn't. How the fuck
do you know? I don't fucking know.
I don't know. I'm not saying
I get... I used to do
a joke. I never did it as a joke, but I used to do a joke
on the phone with Gerard, which is abortion
is kind of killing kind of a baby.
If you're not fully a baby, you can't fully kill someone.
Something happened.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's with trans stuff.
I'm like, I don't know when you officially are a man or a woman
in terms of turf or is it operated on woman the same as a what i what is a
what's a woman do you know what i mean like what is the fucking yeah i don't know those
namibian chicks that have the vagina female anatomy but internal testes that make testosterone
what is that yeah that is a very complicated porn search is what that is Some people got like three
Well you're talking about the girls that were left out of the Olympics
Yeah, the Namibian chicks
It's not even their fault
They're just really good at running
Yeah, and they love MMA
No, but it is interesting
if both sides
are arguing different things
of course they're not
going to understand each other so if you believe that just not believing in trans people is
transphobic right yeah of course the jokes are going to seem like that to that community right
if you're out here like you know i got trans friends like everything's good i don't hate you
why you call me transphobic it's because you're not going off of their definition right and that's why nobody's gonna understand it well that's also like it benefits both sides to not be understood
it benefits there's a like there's a victim victimization is like currency currency so
you know yeah i'm it's it's what uh you ever hear kurt met Metzger has a term? It's so fucking funny. A cultural flop.
You know, in the NBA, like the flop where people are just flopping.
Like, wow, did you see that?
And like the NBA stopped that Steph Curry thing.
That's no longer going to be a foul.
We need to bring that into the world where it's like, no, it's not a foul.
No contact. Or there is contact, but you initiated contact. be a foul we need to bring that into the world where it's like no it's not a foul no contact
yeah or there is contact but you initiated contact and if you if you fake and then lean in
it's not a fucking foul so now there's people that that uh are those people like the people
who are offensive to be offensive just for well there it's like there's that and then there's also
people that are offended to get the sympathy energy, they flop.
It's a lot of people flop.
It's like a soccer thing where one guy flops and another guy flops.
And then there's a stretcher.
I like when they bring the stretcher.
But yeah, it's predictable.
It's just entirely predictable.
It's almost like baked into the marketing.
I'm not saying this is what Dave did, but you've seen certain ad campaigns use racism as marketing.
They put out a kind of racist ad, and then, of course, the internet goes crazy, and everybody's talking about head and shoulders.
Everybody's talking about whatever detergent.
Remember, I think it was an Asian commercial where they put the black guy in the laundry machine.
Right.
I love it.
And then he comes out white.
I love it.
What's the name of the detergent? What the name of it um bleach no don't say it i almost did no
but it is um i just i just feel like it's it's part of like the outrage marketing now like if
you're putting out a project and it's not pissing off you have to find what it's like trying to get
a book canceled so it becomes a but yes yeah but you got to be really specific with the community because you piss off the wrong
community they'll take away your book there are certain communities where big corporations will
turn a blind eye and it kind of looks like trans the big corporate like if you go at like gay
then well no there's pretty it's another kermesker there's like protected groups but some and then some are more protected than others yes like and it takes a while like uh
certain people are not like like short people fat people you can still like it's like that yeah
fat people i don't even think you have to... That's choice. Nobody else's choice.
All of these things have
like, come on, bro.
Put the hamburger...
Or it's glandular or it's whatever.
Or they
don't get good...
Yeah, people have thyroid
things and whatever.
Also, people didn't have any...
Just their neck got fat.
And she's never been fatter um just
literally she'd have a fucking soft well that's where all the food goes i guess yeah it stops
right there at the thyroid yeah that was the issue with the thyroid just cut off her fucking esophagus
uh if you cut it off it's like a slurping comes up um so uh it's disgusting um the but yeah there's all and then there's people that like well they
report they didn't get uh uh nutrition explained to them correctly they're in food deserts there's
like reasons for it's kind of all the same thing right but there's all kinds of explain nutrition
bro you need to tell people that if they eat ice cream yeah yeah right of
course but all of these things start as come the fuck on yeah and then you know like i yeah it's
like i'll never call someone they and then they show up i'm like hello they like i i've done that
uh i don't know any days i'll do it if they ask but it is grammatically hard don't you think
yes i said they ask yeah there you go but like it is tricky
right it's like somebody had a really good they like some ice somebody had a really good argument
against they which is i'm not going to call them they because they're singular they're only one
person but they feel like they're more i i know again that's the thing it's like i don't it's
just i just respect the rules of english like All right. It's just really simple.
He, she, it, that all.
But if you don't know the gender, then you would use that.
But not to their face, right?
You would say, what would you like?
Yeah, but then you wouldn't use a third-person pronoun anyway.
Yeah, I don't even see a real practical application.
The thing that all these things have in common, they are very boring.
Yeah.
They're very boring.
They don't help me either.
Yeah, they're just inconveniences.
Yeah, they don't benefit me in any way.
How can you make it easier for me and then I'll do it?
Yeah, it's all this stuff that like it starts.
None of it's very – I don't mind doing it.
I guess the thing I do mind is when if I forget or I make an honest mistake,
it's bad faith interpretation.
That wasn't an honest mistake.
That was an aggressive mistake.
That is violence.
And it's like, I just fucked up.
America couldn't learn metric.
Yeah.
You think we're going to learn all these fucking new gender?
And I would assume most days are pretty cool with you fucking up
because they're used to people fucking up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think there are a small number of people
who want the attention
and want the victim currency
who make it a big deal.
And I think the rest of they are like,
man, it was an honest mistake.
Yeah, it's tricky, dude.
Of course.
You're going to make a mistake.
But if we're friends for four months,
you'll probably figure it out. But the first time you talk to me, yeah, it's going to be an issue.. You're going to make a mistake. But if we're friends for four months, you'll probably figure it out.
Yeah.
But the first time you talk to me, yeah, it's going to be an issue.
It's vigilantes on Twitter that get pissed.
Or like the guy who was in the store, like the GameStop dude.
Yeah.
Who I think he's done a couple things.
Like he's clearly out here flopping for clout.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And what is it called?
I love this term.
Flopping.
What?
But like cultural flopping.
I think culture.
Flopping for clout is pretty great.
Yeah, he's flopping.
Clout flopping.
Clout flopping, dude.
100%. Nice one. We got it. Shout out to Kurt got it shout out to kurt punched up there you go pert uh cloud flopping yeah so so beyond that i just like all right i don't it's not just like cool
yeah and then people like do you someone's like you need to condemn this one no i don't i don't
fucking agree with anything every there's not a platform anyone on earth who i agree with a hundred percent yeah so my mom like there's
nobody yeah so why do i need to add specifically well everything he says i i mean that we share a
bank account yeah yeah me and dave yeah it's great also what are you gonna say i'm disappointed who
what am i gonna what am i what's any what good is anything gonna do i just know it's great. Also, what are you going to say? I'm disappointed? What am I going to say?
What good is anything going to do?
No, you're not living in you're not.
It seems like a lot of people just
aren't living in reality.
Guys, infamous tour coming to your city.
Philly this weekend sold out.
Thank y'all so much. Indianapolis
and Washington, D.C. next weekend.
We added a second show, Washington, D.C.
That's almost sold out.
Only a few tickets left.
Then we got San Francisco the following weekend.
We added a second show there.
Only a few tickets left for that one.
Get on that now.
Then we got Madison, Wisconsin, Chicago, the Chicago Theater, iconic.
We had a second show there.
Make sure you get tickets for that ASAP.
Then we got Minneapolis, Fargo, Jacksonville, and then Boston for New Year's.
Big announcements coming soon.
Big announcements coming soon.
Make sure you check it out.
TheAndrewSchultz.com for tickets. Akash, what you got?
First of all, Toronto,
we're going to have to cancel the show this weekend.
It's a little crazy story that
as soon as you guys get your money back, I will trash the person that fucked you.
But unfortunately, shows are postponed.
Probably going to do January, February 2022.
Either way, we're going to get you your money back,
and we're going to do the shows again, and it will be crazy.
In the meantime, October 21st through the 23rd,
New Brunswick, New Jersey at the Stress Factory.
Come through, guys.
I'm filming my special there, the third part of my special.
November 6th, Atlanta.
We're at the Red Clay Comedy Festival.
Tickets are already selling quickly, so hurry up and cop.
December 9th through 11th, we're going to be at DC at the Comedy Loft.
January 7th through January 8th, I'm coming back home to Dallas in Hyena's Comedy Club.
And February 3rd and 4th, we're going to be in Richmond, Virginia at the Sandman Comedy Club.
Get your tickets at akashsingh.com.
And guys, if you have a podcast,
you want to step things up,
if you live in a tri-state area,
head over to wtfmediastudios.com.
Miles is in the shot.
Hey, Miles.
And yeah, head over to wtfmediastudios.com
and book a session with me today
and with Wheezy.
You can get a consult with one of us. And now let's get back to the show. What up, everybody? We're going to take a break
for a second because it's gambling time. And if you're going to gamble, you might as well make
the most money while you're doing it. And I'll tell you one way you can make money when your
initial deposit bonus is matched. Think about that. That is free extra money for you to gamble
with. And now you just make even more okay it's
unbelievable the deal that they're giving they are matching your initial deposit bonus at mybookie.ag
up to one thousand dollars think about that right there all you got to do is use the promo code
flagrant matching up to a thousand dollars promo code flagrant you go do that right now what can
you gamble on shit my book is the only sports book that offers online super contests.
So you can't miss out on this exclusive promotion.
Enter now and turn $10 into 10,000.
Weeks five through eight.
Make five picks against the spread.
Get them right.
Earn points and rise up the standings.
Take home the $10,000 grand prize.
You think you're nice at picking them?
Go do it with MyBookie.
MyBookie.ag.
Promo code flagrant.
You bet.
You win.
I hope.
Make sure you do it right now.
Bet anything, anytime, anywhere.
MyBookie.
Let's get back to the show.
You know what's funny, though, is like going back to the Kim K monologue, which was exceptional,
is that there were trans jokes in it i guess one trans joke or something
uh caitlin yeah maybe it was a caitlin joke yeah and it was like and she has the authority to make
the joke even though she's not part of the community because of proximity to the community
like nobody said anything nobody asked caitlin if it was okay right but because of her perceived
proximity like nobody knows if like she hates fucking trans people but they're like no it's her mom dad so she's allowed
to make the jokes is she uh well that's because dave's argument was like yo i had a friend right
right so she's like i got a mom dad right so does that allow her to do the joke? It looks like she's gotten away with it.
Nobody said a single thing.
Now it was sweet and it was kind of cute.
Dave's stuff seemed like it was like, this is how I feel.
And here's a joke that goes along with it.
It seemed a bit pointed.
I actually feel like if it was less honest, if he cared less about like making the point it was
almost like comedy was a tool to drive home the actual point instead of like here's a random joke
about trans people here's a random joke about parks yeah i think kim was in some ways just
saying words yeah well yeah like just like words words words words words words
words my husband is bad personality all right yeah i hope kanye makes a
diss song about her because it's like way worse than anything any snl has done did you notice
though that like she made sure to say the things that he's really care about like to get the
richest black man in america which is not even true uh who is another guy oh no no there's no
no bob johnson the guy yeah probably yeah there's like a few other but uh but still like she said
all the things that would definitely she knew like you can say this if you also say my personality
shit as long as you say i'm really rich yeah I'm a genius. She said greatest rapper of all time. She said best rapper of all time and all of us were like...
He's not the best.
I would argue he is not the best rhymer of all time,
but he is the best hip-hop musician all in of all time.
That's fair.
Yeah.
I like that take.
If you're including producing the music.
Yeah, of course I am.
He's competing with who?
Who else?
J. Cole? J. Dilla? Yeah, of course I am. He's competing with who? Who else? J. Cole?
J. Dilla?
Yeah, like there's a few people that do it.
Yeah, Timberland and Pharrell.
Dr. Dre.
Dr. Dre.
Like guys that didn't write.
I mean, Pharrell writes a little bit, but didn't really, don't have many of their own albums.
Yeah, he's amazing.
But that guy's kind of fucking unbelievable as a musician.
Yeah.
Unbelievable. Yeah. And I learned that like three weeks ago yeah i just found that out what do you mean i never i
never felt that way oh you didn't you just didn't care for it the bars are trash to me like i do
think they've gotten weaker oh they definitely got weaker but like he's got a song in this album
hurricane the the one with the weekend and his bars are fucking great. I'll give you one.
My feeling is he's
at his most authentic when he's
complaining about women. And I think that he does
have women issues.
And all of a sudden, the bars are really true
and real. And then when he talks
about pretty much everything else... Hurricanes about women.
Well, there you go.
The early stuff when he was complaining
about women like it was
real and you could tell that this guy was going through it and these were real experiences he had
and then all of a sudden he's trying to like change the world and she's like activist kanye
it's like dark beautiful fantasy is maybe my favorite album ever uh on any genre yeah it's
a great album it's sad it's weird it's like it All right, fine. So maybe I'm a little bit off there.
But I think for the most part. I mean, whatever.
You don't have to agree with me.
Yeah.
Did you see the fight?
I didn't see it.
I didn't even see a frame of it.
Bro.
Wow.
I saw a replay.
People really love the fight.
Even knowing the ending, I was like, this is fucking.
Is it just like they were just throwing haymakers and not falling?
You don't see heavyweights do this.
Yeah.
You don't see heavyweights do this because usually, especially with heavyweight boxers,
usually they never start young.
I mean, even Deontay Wilder, right?
I think he was playing football maybe or something like that.
And then he started boxing when he was a little bit older.
Yeah.
So, I mean, if you're big and you live in America, you're not choosing boxing.
No.
There are other sports you can make way more money, have a much easier life.
Yes.
Right?
So Tyson Fury comes from a legit boxing family. a dynasty named after mike tyson named after mike tyson by his father
i love is that i didn't know that yeah that's hilarious you know asap rocky's named after rock
him no yeah oh this is it okay so you decide what your kid's gonna be before he's yeah old
enough to decide for himself well yeah i mean it works out. A lot of people were named after rappers.
He just happens to be good at rapping.
So they go and they fight.
And this is the trilogy fight.
And everybody, myself included, thought Tyson Fury
was just going to walk all over him.
It's a trilogy fight the way Dave and trans people
is a trilogy fight.
That's good.
Last time I was fighting this dude, this is it.
Handmakers back and forth.
You know what i
mean 100 so uh yeah when the trans person kissed dave at the weigh-in i knew that was
he is not gonna take this well at all
go ahead so so they're basically in there and uh dionte comes a little bit more prepared for this one and they were fucking
slugging oh we're talking about like 240 i think dionte was 245 and then tyson was 277 this is a
lot of weight this is heavyweight division one punch you go down that's it yeah that's why it's
interesting it's like the lighter guys are fun to watch because they're so skilled they're running
around but at the end of the day it's like they can just pound each other's heads it's rare you're
gonna get these big knockouts manny packingiao was so exciting because here's this little guy that could actually pack a punch.
You guys can't remember the last time Floyd knocked someone out.
Do you ever go to a Floyd fight?
Yeah.
It was like watching a guy in fast forward and the other person's in normal speed.
It was like, oh, this is just not fair.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was amazing.
I saw Floyd Canelo live live it was fucking unreal but anyway so they start fighting and they're swinging and uh it
looks like tyson is gonna kind of start bullying wilder and then wilder catches him with a really
short right hand and drops him and then drops him again at the end of the round so all of a sudden
you're like holy shit right like i don't even know what's happening and then the rest of the fight even though fury's starting to come on and starting
to outbox him and starting to bully him you know that all it takes is one shot the guy already went
down so for 11 rounds it's just this scintillating non-stop action from heavyweights you never see
from heavyweights and and then fury knocks him out in just like this amazingly beautiful.
I think he dips under, hits him with like an overhand right, finishes him.
They stop the fight.
Deontay Wilder shows so much fucking heart.
Like both guys leave the fight beloved.
Everybody who watched it was like, yo, both of y'all, if you ever fight again, I will watch you guys fight again.
The worst part of the whole fight is that Deontay didn't want to shake his hand afterwards.
Why?
He was just like on some shit.
They had beef after the other fights.
He accused him of cheating.
Yeah, Deontay's been a sore loser.
He's a sore loser, that's it.
He never mentions the fact that you're not in shape.
I don't like getting beat up by a guy who works for UPS.
We do live in an interesting time, though.
I was talking to my girl's dad about this,
but we're like Tom Brady and Tyson Fury.
There's not a single abdominal muscle between the two of them.
These are the most dominant people in their respective sports.
And I'm watching this fucking fight,
and I asked that probably on Twitter or Instagram,
but I'm just like... Who was I talking to?
There's a guy in the NBA.
He played for Milwaukee and Chicago.
Jabari Parker.
Yeah, yeah, Parker.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he just has like.
He's a little puff.
Like doughy.
But you know what that is.
No, no, no.
No.
He's a Mormon, right?
I said somebody.
No, that's why. I was was like i'm pretty sure why is
he in bad shape and they go that guy eats perfectly really and he can't he just has a soft looking
body he doesn't he's not on the sauce no usually guys like that yeah of course they're on the sauce
yeah but interesting yeah some guys just can't get they're just dope like will ferrell can run
marathons and Will Ferrell.
And he just is doughy.
Some people just got bad bodies.
You're off the bread.
You'll be good.
I really believe that.
You stay off carbs.
You'll be fucking good.
All right, cool.
Anyway, I'm literally watching this fight.
I'm like...
What?
You stay off carbs.
You'll be good.
Jabari Parker, that's your problem.
Yeah.
If you're listening, Jabari Parker.
Yeah.
If he gets off carbs...
From what I hear, he's off carbs.
No. No way. You think Tom Brady's on carbs? Tom Brady's on Parker. If he gets off carbs. From what I hear, he's off carbs.
You think Tom Brady's on carbs?
Tom Brady's on carbs.
He's not on carbs.
He eats avocado.
Have you seen him without a shirt on?
Say what? Have you seen him without a shirt on?
This is like a guy who's about to fold
under questioning.
Bring the cops in. I'll talk to them. What? No. yeah i saw the picture where'd you see it i don't remember um where uh tom brady i
think is like in for his age is in very good shape for his age he's in great shape but he's also the
greatest football player in history and he's never had an amazing physique right just like tyson
right well that's the thing where I think now,
just because it's like you look at Johnny Unitas.
Those guys didn't know about nutrition.
Yeah.
And they had day jobs.
Don't worry.
Don't look at that.
Day jobs.
But these guys can just be about working out.
You ever watch... There's a picture of Len Dawson, sorry,
in like halftime of the Super Bowl,
the championship or something like that.
Smoking a cigarette?
Smoking a cigarette, drinking a beer at halftime.
This is my fucking mind.
Hank Aaron used to smoke cigarettes in the dugout.
Baseball, it makes sense.
Yeah.
Yeah, they still do tobacco to this day.
You could do other things while you play baseball.
Yeah.
But football is wild.
It's wild.
Yeah.
Anyway.
As a quarterback, sauced up, making reads.
That's going to be the future of the combine.
They're going to be looking for fat guys,
100%.
They're going to see some guy and be like,
yeah,
too many abs.
It's the now.
Oh,
well,
some positions.
I don't know.
I'm just saying,
I'm watching Tyson Fury fight,
and I'm like,
who could beat this guy?
And then I started thinking like,
historically,
who could beat him?
I think Tyson Fury is the greatest heavyweight boxer of all time.
Stop.
Everybody guffaws when I say it.
Just tell me the guy that can beat him.
If you're telling me, real quick,
6'9", Tyson Fury.
He does look, he's fucking huge.
He's going to get beaten by 5'10", Mike Tyson.
Muhammad Ali got knocked out.
Muhammad Ali, what, 6'1"?
George Foreman.
6'3", and what did the top, what did he weigh?
220 pounds at his top.
He was probably hovering around 208, 211
when he was fighting. Like, 277!
George Foreman is closest.
6'4". But if Ali is
outboxing, if Ali is outboxing
George Foreman, imagine what's
going to happen when a guy 6'9 is in front of him
with great foot movement, fast
hands. The only person I can think
of is Lennox lewis because i
was gonna pitch him now here's the thing he's just because he was huge because he was big he's tall
he had great reach and great power but here's the thing he also gave one of my favorite interviews
after a fight where he he it's like he i think he lost and but the british accent he was like
did he even throw one jab it was so fucking canadian. He's a fully Canadian. Yeah. And he just chose
to use the British accent.
He went Madonna.
Yeah, exactly.
But the point is,
I'm watching and I'm like,
if Lennox Lewis
is the only guy
that can beat Tyson Fury,
right,
nobody considers Lennox Lewis
the greatest heavyweight
of all time.
Yeah.
Yeah, but this is
what I was saying
last week or on Patreon
or something.
It just moves forward.
Like, if you put Giannis, he's not the greatest basketball player of all time,
but if you drop him in the 60s, they're not going to know what the fuck this thing is
because everything just moves forward.
Yeah, yeah, people get better at their respective platforms.
People get better, they get bigger, they get faster, they get stronger, everything.
They just somehow, as time passes, we just get more and more dynamic at everything.
So Tyson might be able to beat any heavyweight going back, but that doesn't make him the
greatest heavyweight ever.
Yeah.
You got to put them in their time and consider them in their time.
And wow.
Just to that point, real quick.
Okay.
Just to that point.
If things get better as we go along.
Yeah.
We're currently, according to that argument, in the best.
Right?
Yes.
Because things are getting better.
the best.
Right? Yes. Because things are getting better.
And if this is the best guy of now, which is
the best version of the sport,
he's the best ever.
According to your argument. Yeah, you used greatest
is where I tripped up the first time. You said he's the
greatest heavyweight ever. I think great is a little different.
Best, sure, he might be able
to beat any of these guys because of the
era we're in. And 20 years from now,
there'll be a lot of people who will beat the shit out of this guy that's just how time but we're not there but if we're
talking great relative to your time i don't know boxing but i'm assuming it's going to be an ali
who fought foreman and frazier and liston and whoever else as opposed to tyson fury frazier
feels like he can knock him out with like a fucking hard was 510 i agree he wouldn't even
touch him yeah but think about it. Wilder was
touching Fury, and Wilder's not a great
boxer. He's just a slugger.
If you put Ali in front of him, yes, he's shorter,
but he's an actual boxer and can
touch him. So let me give a little pushback about that.
So Deontay Wilder is
6'7". What a lot
of people don't realize about Deontay Wilder is
what he lacks in skills, he makes up
for in the fact that he's the hardest puncher in the history of boxing he had 42 fights before that fight and
41 ended in knockout that's the highest knockout percentage in history he's the hardest puncher in
history nobody's close probably right so when you're 6'7 you can have kind of shitty fundamentals
because you're so much taller than people you're fighting they have to take risks in order to hit
you and the second they take those risks boom game over he goes up against a guy six nine who could actually keep
him out there and he still fights him well it's like i'm telling you i don't see anybody in i know
this sounds blasphemous but you're not that wrong if you're not i know what you mean i'd see your
point yeah there's just physics here it's like like, who's going to touch him? Yeah.
And everybody goes Lennox, and I think that's reasonable.
But if we're going Lennox as the only guy.
But Lennox also wasn't, like, dominant.
He was, like, the champ, but he wasn't, like.
He got beat. God damn.
It wasn't, like, he murdered people.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
I don't know.
I just think.
I know it's crazy to say, but if you really sit down and look at it, and you're like,
who could be? Could Mike Tyson beat him?
There's no way in hell.
There's no way, I don't even know if he could reach him.
He could literally just stand up straight in front of him.
I don't even know if Mike is reaching him with the punches.
Yeah, but Mike would get close.
Like, Mike's styles.
I'm going to take some hits while I'm getting close to you, and once I'm close,
now I'm botting you.
I'm taking you to the body, and I'm going up to you. You're not body and I'm going up to... Yeah, I'm telling you. He would just run
through that shit. He just walks in like this.
Just takes punches. I'm telling you, Mike could do it
and I think Ali would be able to do it.
Because Ali could take a lot
of punishment. Ali could take the punishment.
How close is he to Deontay
Wilder? Who? Tyson Fury.
Closest to him in terms of what? In terms of
skill, in terms of... I think he's significantly better. But Deontay'ser. Who? Tyson Fury. Closest to you in terms of what? In terms of skill, in terms of...
I think he's significantly better.
But Deontay's got the equalizer, which is the power.
If he touches you, you go down.
There's nothing you can do.
Turns it off.
It's so funny how unpopular it is.
Heavyweights used to be the only game in town.
And now I'm like, who?
When you talk about it, I'm like, is that the big fat guy?
You know what I mean?
Are you an MMA idol?
Are you getting into that?
Not even a little.
Really?
It's actually too violent for me.
Interesting.
My dad says the same thing.
And he's a huge boxing fan.
I was watching boxing this time.
Them too.
I was like, this is too.
This is like, these guys are all getting concussions.
It's crazy.
You get a concussion.
Then you get back up and you keep fighting.
Yeah.
And a couple rounds in, you're hopefully back back to normal that's the thing with mma is like people think mma is
way more brutal because you hit someone when they're on the ground right right but the reality
is letting somebody get back up after they were concussed yeah and keep fighting yes even while
their knees are still wobbling that's is a war crime it's insane torture yeah it's insane that
we allow that right yeah so it's actually apparently
way worse for you boxing well because you get hit so much more yeah sustained punishment i football
is kind of too violent for me now they say that boxing football is the same thing it's like that
constant like you're just knocking it constantly whereas mma it's like one big shot lights out
ref jumps in there yeah you're taking less punishment it's mostly getting split you're
like bleeding a lot more yeah and also there's more cost i also don't be honest i don't like your
hand hurts i don't like the barefoot thing i don't want to see feet i don't want to see feet
i thought you were gonna you fucked up bare knuckle nah you never heard of barefoot boxing
barefoot box it's really popular it's getting really popular you don't like seeing the feet
nah dude there was a gnarly thing that happened this fight this guy kicks a guy in the face right he does like an up kick kicks a guy in the face
breaks his big toe when he does it right gosh he he goes back down to like plant his feet
and this i'm assuming that's the big toe this big toe is just pointing up right and as he's
looking at the other guy he looks down it takes his other foot, just pushes the big toe back down onto the canvas, keeps on fighting.
Toes aren't that.
Cartoon logic.
It's like, what would Daffy Duck do?
He would step on his own fucking broken toe.
Yeah, but surprisingly, toes aren't that big of a deal.
When I used to do karate, I broke three toes kicking and shit like that.
You can just keep going.
It doesn't hurt that much. It doesn't mess up your balance that much.
There's also nothing
they can do.
Big toes seem like they just say don't walk on it
or some shit.
If you break your big toe, I would think you're
fucked.
Apparently, you can just step on it.
Did you try stepping on it?
I didn't try it.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
I waited until after.
So you broke it in competition?
In competition, yeah.
And just kept going?
Just kept going.
Adrenaline, you don't feel it.
And then afterwards, it hurts a little bit, but it doesn't hurt that much.
Which toe?
It was different ones.
One time it was a big toe, and then the other time it was a pinky.
And then, yeah.
Yo, sorry.
A couple questions I had about the Wilder fight.
I saw the replay.
First of all, Wilder looked like a better boxer this time
Usually I watch him, he just looks crazy
Also, here's one question
Fury would put Wilder in this headlock a lot
And the ref would always break it up
Fury's first knockdown of Wilder
He popped him, got him once, then put him in a headlock
Then uppercutted him
It's a classic
That's like
Using the arm hook in basketball to drive it's like
kind of dirty but you get everybody does it you use this hand or what depends whatever but you
use one hand to kind of hold their head down yeah and then you uppercut with the other but if you're
really good you keep the ref on the hand holding side so if the ref is right here you just put the
hand here and then you uppercut with the left so the ref can't see you.
Because the ref would be like, hey, that's illegal.
You can't hold his head down and punch him at the same time.
But yeah, this is a guy like the Furies have been fighting since they're four years old.
They're gypsies.
Yeah.
Like legit gypsies.
Like not like we're playing around for this for like the title.
He looks like he trains only outside.
He has a Winnebago.
It doesn't surprise me in the slightest. That they go live in sometimes. yeah it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that they
go live in sometimes yep doesn't surprise me that's the life that they call them the travelers
because you're not supposed to use gypsy and he just said uh well no i'm gonna use gypsy and he's
also the baddest guy on the planet so it's like i guess you can just use that if you want but like
that is the fucking life and they fight they're called like fighting men and yeah it could be in a field
on some like brad pitt and lockstock shit was it lockstock or yeah what snatch snatch probably yeah
don't know snatch but like but yeah of course man it's rare you're never gonna get that a guy six
nine in america is playing basketball or football and he would never be brought to a boxing gym
out of his mind if he was brought to a boxing gym. You talk about head movement sometimes with boxers, I noticed it with Fury.
It's fucking crisp, dude. Just in and
out. Slip, slip, slip, bang.
When he knocked him out, he dipped a fucking punch.
Caught him with an overhand right.
It's unbelievable. It really is the difference of doing something your whole
life and getting into something
kind of later and figuring it out. Even though one
is like an elite athlete and the other one is just sort
of like a massive guy.
I went to the Triple G Caneloelo fight oh dude and i was which one the they had the second one second one and i
was i was front row and uh at one point um they're like they're eight feet from you right yeah yeah and at one point uh canelo punched triple g
this this and he didn't blink and i was like oh this these guys this is some other shit bro
they're my uh the guy that i train with right he used to be on the egyptian olympic team right
and he's won a bunch of like world titles and that kind of stuff this is in amateur uh hossam abdin great trainer you should go train with him in new york but uh he said they used to do a drill
where they would take a glove not in a hand but just a glove outside of a hand and you'd leave
your eyes open and they would just punch you in the face with the not with your hand in the glove
yeah just like getting used to just so you get used to not blinking while a punch is coming at
your face yeah the most basic human instinct there is.
Yeah.
And they beat it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was like, oh, okay.
All right.
Go ahead.
Keep fighting.
I think that's what freaked us out.
I remember when Matt Barnes put the ball right in Kobe's face and Kobe didn't even blink.
The craziest shit ever.
Yeah.
I heard there's an angle where it's off to the side.
Don't watch it.
It's heartbreak.
I refuse to believe that.
He blanks.
It's heartbreak.
There's another angle of that exact thing that happens and he comes nowhere
near kobe's face but the way it looks
don't even talk we're gonna cut it out
scrub it but we believe that about kobe you can train yourself to just not
fucking blink
when a basketball is throwing an inch from your face or whatever.
I did a couple of commercials with Kobe,
and the funniest shit about...
I did a Nike commercial in a 2K, I think.
But if you wanted Kobe to be in the commercial,
he'd go, yeah, I'll be in it,
but you got to shoot it within 10 minutes of my house.
He's not wasting time. He's like, like yeah i'm not fucking going to you yeah but if you want to come
if i'm like getting my dry cleaning i'll stop by yeah and i'll do your fucking dumb commercial
because what are you going to do make me more famous right they already all those guys already
got the money from nike so they're like what's's Nike going to sue them for breach in the 14th year of their...
The funniest is Jordan does it.
And it's Jordan.
For his own brand.
Yeah.
When was the last time you saw Michael Jordan in a Jordan commercial?
I can't remember.
I know when you did.
And I can tell you how much time they had to shoot him.
Jeter commercial.
This. Oh, yeah. 45 him. Jeter commercial, this.
Oh, yeah.
45 minutes.
Come to the golf course.
Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah.
Like, just come to the golf course. It used to be, like, in the old days with, like, those Johnny Unitas guys,
they'd make them come.
You come to set, you're here for 12 hours.
Yeah.
And then a guy named
joe pitka directed all michael jordan's commercials besides the jordan besides the spike ones and he
would get him in and in and out in three hours and that changed and that became every you get
people for three hours now i'm not even trying to make a joke those guys are like like kobe built
the helicopter because he was like i'm not wasting fucking time i'm not wait if you just get to the
point where like this is i'm sitting in traffic right now and it's costing me money no yeah 10
minutes from my house or i i will take the fucking helicopter i don't want to take it that's like he
that was his mindset yeah that's why he built it i'm just i think that's how we get he built
the helicopter that's why he got the. I think that's how we get to change something. He built the helicopter? That's why he got the helicopter. Because that might explain something.
I mean, there's a moment where there's limits to it.
He looked up instructions.
He spent days in sleep.
He can't do everything.
Engineering, physics.
So what happened with Kobe when you guys did the commercial?
Good to work with?
We had almost no interaction.
Really?
I either thought, sometimes i would get paranoid
and be like he must think i was racist to dave or something i would just get like paranoid like
what but meanwhile they just don't they he's like who's dave exactly no he did do a thing that was
crazy it was when he had his right arm hurt uh he had the shoulder injury
oh yeah yeah and uh he rotator cuff yeah he was it was he did a underhanded shot
from half court hit the rim left hand i was like yeah that's some other shit
he can that's some other shit like that's i't. I don't know anyone that can do that.
Is that a real fear?
Like, are you worried that people would think, people that aren't exactly familiar with who you are?
Yeah.
It used to be worse, but, like, now it's.
Were you blamed for that?
For being racist?
It was all too hazy.
It was all a little hazy. So it was like, ah.
Some racist shit happened and there's a white guy
there you were the only white person on duty so it was like you have no alibi yeah i'm white and i
was there yeah i was there because that yeah that's tricky you're walking through life and
every person you interact with you don't know you if you have to explain yourself or not i have a picture yeah of meeting the obamas
and barack is excited to meet me and michelle's like oh no yeah
michelle like i have the photo barack's like my people be tripping sometimes they just go to
africa you know what i mean my people just leave and go to africa yeah michelle's like
literally like people are like michelle seems mad i'm like yeah she does doesn't she really i don't
again i don't know it's paranoid yeah it's like i'm just i don't know so i don't know what um
but that nike shit was great because it was like richard sherman and fucking ko Sherman and fucking Kobe and Serena.
And like literally nine days of shooting.
Really?
In the war.
It was the best.
And you don't mind dealing with athletes?
All right, guys, we need to take a break for a second because with today's low interest rates, it's a great time to refinance your student loans.
All right?
Earnest offers low rate student loan refinancing.
And you can check your rate risk free in just two minutes.
With Earnest, you get radically flexible payments and you can check your rate risk-free in just two minutes. With Earnest, you get
radically flexible payments and you can pick your loan term. By refinancing, you can reduce your loan
term, save money, or combine multiple loans into a simple monthly payment. And if you have questions,
you can even talk to a real live human at Earnest for help. So isn't it time you stop feeling
overwhelmed by your student debt? Earnest is offering our listeners a $100 cash bonus.
Refinance your student debt at Earnest.com slash flagrant.
Remember, terms and conditions apply.
Now, Earnest is giving our listeners a $100 bonus.
Refinance your student loans at Earnest.com slash flagrant.
Say it again.
What?
Say it again.
Terms and conditions apply, okay?
Say it again.
What?
Say it again.
Terms and conditions apply, okay?
Once again, you get a $100 cash bonus when you visit earnest.com slash flagrant to refinance your student loan.
Not available in all states.
Terms and conditions apply.
I think they want us to say it one more time.
One more time.
Visit earnest.com slash flagrant for more details. Terms and conditions apply.
for more details terms and conditions apply earnest student loan refinancing made by earnest operations llc and mls number 1204917 california financing law license number 6054788535 mission
street san francisco california 94105 visit earnest.com licenses for a full list of licenses
now let's get back to the show.
And you don't mind dealing with athletes?
No.
Because here you want to, with like directing, directing, you have to be like, you know, you come in.
Here are my directions on that.
Faster.
Literally just like fast, run faster.
Oh, this is very funny.
So when you do like a, for instance, Nikeike commercial we would audition people for how they ran
so we were doing exterior running shots and we had 10 people and we go all right run and then
we go like people you can't have a bad runner yeah in a commercial you can't like yeah she can
be great or he can be great looking and like if they just
i do it now when i go to like west side highway or somewhere i'm like nah nah can't use them don't
have at least struggling he doesn't he doesn't like his head moves weird but that is that's
that's worse than getting called a six honestly and getting told that you run weird fuck
yeah stop it um i'm just thinking maybe it's different for you though also because like
you're you're not going into this shoot as like some fucking director that none of them have ever
heard of that's probably that's the other thing with you yeah that's the other thing within one
person like there's one degree of separation you're like oh yeah i was talking to blah blah
blah your comedians and then a lot of them like grew up watching Chappelle's show so they're like
like I went to Blake's house one time
Griffin half-baked was on
his living room table and I was like dude you gotta
play it you gotta be a little cooler
like you're kind of blowing this right now
like this is not
like you gotta I get it it's cool
it's exciting to meet me I get all
that but you know bring it down a little
bit yeah that's good when they're like when they were younger and then now they're like it's cool it's exciting to meet me i get all that but you know bring it down a little bit
uh yeah that's good when they're like when they were younger and then now they're like
fucking white neil
opposed to black neil well just that i was white now for a lot of people
so you got it do you ever want to do it again
not chapelle show but like no i don't you you did i always
try to bring you i always but you didn't you did an hour long television show how was it
was it fun was how was your life we didn't have a life no kidding yeah like it's not it's like
this is too hard but is there other ever a party that's like okay i want to create another
thing that captures cultural sentiment like that's what excited me about the show that we made right
is like it felt like every week we were doing something and it was before we did netflix when
we were doing a weekly on instagram i was like oh every week we tapped into the conversation right and had like something
really interesting fun and like thoughtful about it and it was really exciting and you got to
experience that like every week it was tuning in and people were reacting imagine there was social
media imagine there was social it's the last show i remember that you stopped down at that time
right watched it so isn't there is there a part of you now?
No.
I'd rather just do stand-up.
I was telling somebody earlier, it's too hard.
Yeah.
It's too hard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you have a group of dudes that you love doing it with, that makes it easier and makes it more fun.
yeah that's makes it easier and makes it more fun yeah but at this point it's like
yeah what i don't even it's like peers wise it's like who am i it's just all two dragons yeah it's like just too hard to do and then uh even like sudeikis i saw sudeikis a couple weeks ago and
it was like yeah i gotta I got to go back to LA
and I got to do the writer's room.
And he just got back from London
for eight months.
And it's just like,
that doesn't look like,
it doesn't seem like a fun life.
So you're, yeah,
you're valuing enjoyment in life.
Like first person.
Like what is my,
what is it?
When people bring up Trapezo,
all I think about is like,
I'm fucking exhausted.
Like, I'm so, I wouldn't sleep for three days.
I'd have to edit, like, in the editing room for two days straight.
And then, like, I'd have to convince Bijan to stay, the editor.
And then I would only go home like to go to the bathroom
yeah because i have a no i don't do it outside of the house no i get that you got it you got it
so uh so i just all i think about is stress that's literally all i think about is like
it's fear yeah it's like ptsd yes ptsd the commercials are amazing because the commercials
are great because it's like in out two days i would say like it's your wedding where do you
want to stay yeah yeah great yeah product shelf shoot the shit out of this yeah gatorade i'd
gatorade with lillard and damian lillard and serena and it's like great yeah go to portland
go to fucking palm beach yeah serena's like yeah i'll be in your gatorade
you're coming to palm beach great see you there portland do damien like just what have i done i
do kev yeah chase with kev yeah doing uh i did a nba 2k like the most recent one where where uh
what's his name from boston uh Tatum is playing video, whatever.
It's just like Sprite.
I did Sprite with LeBron.
Yeah, I hear you.
No, I hear you, man.
It's just, I don't know.
I know.
You know the feeling, and not a lot of people know the feeling.
I know the feeling, and I also know.
It's exciting.
It's very exciting.
It's exciting.
But then.
And we got a fraction of what you
guys experienced yeah but we did experience it and we experienced it in a down time where there
wasn't a lot of good things yeah coming out so maybe it was it felt even bigger because there
was really no competition yeah like we were putting out a thing every week and there was
nothing new coming out and then the last dance yeah you know what i mean so it was just
like it was it was go time but you experienced that on a fucking crazy level and i don't know
i'm just curious if it's i mean it's just too it was it's then you do it and do it and then it's like
it doesn't even really even you can't even track it has anybody done it
with a realistic schedule like has anybody created the show apparently louis would only
shoot for eight hours really which is like is like, that's pretty good.
But he wouldn't go on Location Scouts.
He would just go
He would just do it. He would edit
himself. He wouldn't go on Location Scouts. He just
had it honed to the point
where
it's humane.
And also, Louis wasn't at the
level that we're talking.
For some people, he was. Of course, but it wasn't like the level that we're talking. Like, it was important. For some people he was.
I mean, you know what I mean? Of course, of course, but it wasn't like
It's different to be important for some people
and then just to be important, period.
Yeah. Like, Chappelle's show was like
It crossed over, man. Yeah. You just had to see it.
So it was like... Yeah, I remember
hearing somebody goes,
I was just in vague... Well, the cool thing was
we did the taping.
Alright, there was a cut.
The first, I would edit for, I would be fucking dead.
And I would have to bring a tape up.
This is how fucking long ago this was.
I would bring a physical tape to 106th and Park.
And so we showed racial we showed like racial draft,
like stuff that was done for the first episodes.
And then I was like,
I have a cut of Rick James.
Like,
it's not good.
Like we worked on it for three hours and,
uh,
we showed it and it's like uneven.
Cocaine's a hell of a drug.
Got the repeat.
I like put a repeat in and that got a laugh and I was like,
all right,
I'll do more of those. And then, Oh, you got to try it. But it didn't repeat in and that got a laugh and i was like all right i'll do more of those and then oh you got to try but it didn't yes you got to work out oh we'd show it
carolines wow we would show sketches of carolines oh yeah yeah yeah you're working out the jokes
within the head yeah we would do cuts i would we would do cuts and then chappelle would do like
carolines and then
go like I hear some sketches but it was before
the show was on so people were like what
what are you doing
in fact but not even what are you doing we showed the racial
draft at the cellar I think the
night before we showed it and it
kind of ate shit
and Dave was like this is not the right crap
but so we showed
a cut of Rick James james and dave was
like that was that was the best we something like that was the best you can do and he's this is like
his favorite story about me is i looked at him when i went and i look like fucking yeah like a
wily coyote like a bomb and explode in my face i go yeah sorry man like just like fucking i yes i failed you again yeah with fucking by working fucking my
dick off and uh but like and then we had the taping and then dave's wife said she was at a
restaurant it hadn't aired yet and she heard someone say i'm rick james bitch and that is
over before it had aired they had been at the taping. Oh, from the taping. From the taping, they just were saying it.
And then somebody said, I was in Vegas, and people at the blackjack table were saying
I'm Rick James' picture.
And my first thought was like, why?
Why would anyone say that?
And I still don't really know why.
But I'm glad they did.
Is that when you realized how big the show was?
That was the cool thing about that was like the show was that was the cool thing about
that was like the show was that was on the fourth week of the second season and the ratings went up
a hundred thousand people every week after like a weird like hundred like just point one point two
point three so we got a million extra viewers in uh whatever however long that is in 10 weeks 10 weeks and and then our contracts
were up of course now it's game time yeah yes um so so yeah so that was that was fun yeah it's a
it's a rare but i don't it's not something i okay how about this question? It was a spiritual thing that's like...
Not even...
This is pre-Iowans.
It's a spiritual thing in that it's just like we had been...
It's just like 10 years of like...
Yeah.
And then like boosh.
Yeah.
Like shit was on the show that we'd been talking about for...
Like the real world sketch we had talked about 10 years earlier.
Years ago. Because his friend got thrown off the show ago i knew a friend got thrown off the show yeah frank got thrown off show because i think what a lot of people don't realize is like your first special your first movie squid
game is a perfect example of this is like you work 10 years for your first album yeah 10 years for
your first special like everybody their first creation is not made in that two-year timeline
that the rest of their creations are made.
By the way, that's why Steve Martin never did stand-up again.
He admitted it on Comedians in Cars.
He's like, this is my first life.
He's like, it would have taken me 10 years to write another hour.
Rarely is the second album as good as the first album.
We somehow
hacked it a little bit.
But maybe you had more wealth to give still.
Yeah, we did.
But also, Tucker pitched the racial draft brian tucker uh he writes for i live now okay he's the what he's in
uh uh i know black people he's like the whitest looking dude you've ever seen he's so fucking
white he's the one who said uh uh what is a lucy and he's like, like a hoe?
Tucker pitched a thing.
Like we had Donnell.
Well, keeping it real goes wrong.
It's kind of me and Donnell.
Like there were just hits that were like,
Kroll actually pitched
the N-word family.
Oh, really?
Kroll and Birbiglia
and Roger Hales pitched that.
They pitched it kind of like
not how we did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they pitched it hailes pitched that they pitched it kind of like not how we did it yeah
yeah and uh we they pitched it like a sitcom or they pitched it like a documentary then we met
so like we had outside but it was mostly just about like yeah not even butting heads just like
this thing yeah and then you can do you think you could do it again though like do you think if you had the
bandwidth if you had the time and if you had the passion you weren't worried about stress
do you think it's a thing that you could create could you be part of a show and make that show
the thing to watch oh i have no idea i don't i not i'm not in a way that like i know what to do it's like a weird
thing where it was dave's 10th pilot yeah so it's like i hadn't worked on anyone but it's a weird
thing where when you find your genre yeah like it was one of those things where
once we did it i was like oh you should have been doing sketches the whole time.
Feels miraculous.
But you don't even know.
You don't know that when you're yourself.
Then you try and you go, oh, I'm weirdly good at this.
This is what I've always been doing.
Yeah.
And then you start to look back at bits and you go, oh, you kind of do stand-up and sketches, right?
Eddie Murphy actually told Dave, you kind of do stand-up and sketches, right? Eddie Murphy actually told Dave, like, you could write movies.
Because he's like, the way your jokes are, they're like visual and like there's cut-toos.
So you could write movies.
But it never, I don't know, it never came up as like sketches.
I don't know.
Even when he called me to do it, it was like Playboy After Dark.
So it wasn't like, it became a sketch show.
It was not even supposed to be it's it's one of those things where like when when you're part
of something that's successful and you realize what goes into it in order to make it that
successful when you see people who have had multiple successes your respect just has to go
so like when you look like a christopher i don't even a who no no. So like when you look at like a Christopher Nolan. Well, I don't even. A who? A Nolan, yeah.
When I look at Nolan, I go, wait a minute.
Like almost every one is amazing.
And the ones that aren't amazing are still like pretty good.
I would argue that Nolan's, it's about him and his brother.
He has the team.
But him and his brother, if you look at all their movies,
it's just some weird thing between them
and he's developed a visual style but it's about it's like i call it this like this this fucking
ineffable like i don't know it's just the thing thing yeah i remember somebody saying somebody
saw before the show came out somebody saw me and dave together and was like something about you two
i was like but you felt it like aren't there people where you're around them and you feel
funnier like yeah yeah and it's just for whatever reason they get your shit and you can start to
you know yeah all ideas yeah tags come out like there's certain people but that's always like
we're friends because we would go like in 1992, we would talk about, you know what I mean?
Like we were just friends and that would talk about shit.
Yeah.
And then that's the reason why I'm wary of doing it.
It's like I don't have that thing with anybody.
You don't have that intent to do it.
Right.
Like you got it.
You need that before.
Yeah.
You need like people ask me all the time.
Like we'll do whatever i could get my
like this but i don't feel that way i remember watching the curb episode the curb season where
they did the seinfeld reunion and every time jerry and larry are on camera together it's a
it's fucking magic and you just see this chemistry and you're like god damn that thing i don't even
about seinfeld makes sense the success of seinfeld makes sense right there's the one where they're
talking about they're like the stage manager from evening shade or something where they have inside
jokes jerry and larry that's on the show and you're like i don't even know what the fuck they're
talking about this is great yeah i don't even know they don't know one argument about a booth in one
of the episodes and like somebody comes and jerry and larry both have a side of the booth and then
they're just arguing about who should let that person sit next,
and it's just like, yo, I'm watching the show.
Yeah.
You just see the magic right there.
Yeah.
And that's what I assume you're saying you had with Dave,
where it's like, fuck, there it is.
So in order to create that thing, there is a recipe.
Even if the thing's in you, it's like,
I say it's like I got an idea that's burning a hole in my pocket like i
have to yeah like the these shows i did like three mics and the new one is like sorry to
transition no no but it is that's the thing where i am like i have to say this yeah whether it's
whatever happens yeah it's uh to to liken it to something in stand-up like uh you know the new
joke that you're working out
that's actually good?
And you know how if you put three jokes into the set,
those first two jokes are like,
ugh, do I have to fucking do this?
You're so annoyed with everything before it
that you just want to fucking open it.
You're like, you guys are phonies.
Like, you guys are fucking phonies.
Yeah, I wrote you six weeks ago and you were great but this is the
guy yeah i'm this is my new baby i don't even give a fuck you guys are so hacky yeah like get
out of my set yeah like why are you even here i'm glad neil's not having kids yeah he gets a four
and be like why are you here yeah that's my that's my impression of my dad.
Yeah, but that's exactly...
Or a joke that you know is right,
but it doesn't hit yet.
And you're like, I'll keep tinkering.
I have a joke now.
I wrote it in the new show.
I wrote it.
I call Chappelle.
I go, has anyone done this joke
he goes
you pitched me that joke
in 1993
he's got like
the LeBron memory
that's crazy
memory right
yeah yeah yeah
he absolutely has
the LeBron memory
really
like fucking
beyond
like I
in terms of like
recall and stuff
yeah
yeah yeah
his
mine's very good
and his is like
how
like how the fuck can you he there's a story
i heard somebody told me that uh tony morrison was at dave's high school who's the not tony
morrison uh the poet uh maya angelo was at dave's high school and she was saying one of her poems
couldn't remember and dave finished
it for her no like just a fucking he's got like his brain is like put in the smithsonian
like fucking crazy his dad was his parents are professors yeah and he's got that thirst for
knowledge it seems like where he just always seems to be reading yeah what he's saying it's
like oh you're incredibly well read clearly yeah he's not even well it's not even reading it's like it's just osmosis yeah it's like shit he like how you you hit something
with the nolans i didn't think about that i knew obviously it's jonathan and christopher yeah right
but that team in order to make the magic and then you look at people who have like made consistent
i don't care what some people might say about like i'm a big sandler fan but like yeah it's the they've had
that team this whole time and it's like putting together these random parts to go make a movie
that's better than anything else i mean that's to be honest you might say that's why like the marvel
stuff is so impressive it's because they will just quilt together a team to make those movies
like okay you're the new director for this one.
Absolutely.
And the storylines are so hard. I think they plug it into a fairly specific formula.
Kevin Feige's been on all of them.
So he is Kevin Feige.
He's the North Star,
and then he makes sure everything below works.
But still, it's interesting you see that, right?
If you want to create magic on a consistent basis.
You know what impresses me when you say that, though, is Chris Rock.
I think from Bring the Pain to Bigger and Blacker, he might have actually gotten, technically, to me, it's his best special.
Like, he's fucking, to have that after Bring the Pain, I still think about that.
He's more proud of Bigger and Blacker than he is of Bring the Pain.
Dude, if you rewatch it.
Because he's like, it fucking, it sold better, which I still can't believe.
And he's like, it's the sophomore album.
And it's still flat.
It was like 16 months after Bring the Pain.
It wasn't like, I took some time off.
He literally just kept going.
And you'll notice these little things.
I'm sorry, he did it a year and four months.
It was immediate.
Yeah, that's unreal.
It was so good.
I don't know if you've seen Chris Rock's old stuff.
He used to have his habit where he would start punching his leg when he was feeling himself.
I think in Bigger and Blacker, he starts to do it once and then cuts it.
It was like hacky.
He used to knock the mic stand over, too, and that was the joke.
Whatever, people would knock shit over and go, hey, Roxy or something.
But, yeah, I like Bring the Pain more.
But Bigger and Blacker might be better.
He would say it's better.
Bring the Pain had that like hunger.
Yeah.
Like,
you know,
and bring the pain.
Someone's like,
I'm going to change my life.
The camera is shaking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you watch it,
they're laughing.
He always says,
well,
black people laugh at their feet.
So there's,
it's like a fucking earthquake.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It reminded me of,
I was at game six of the mets right uh uh
the bill buckner game yeah i was there what yeah i was i just happened to my dad got tickets and
we went bill buckner uh classic moments where he's the first baseman and the red sox are about to end
their drought how many years is this at the time and it just goes right through wait wait buckner
was uh boston yeah for boston red sox
they're playing and their world series game six it's over and then they rally but shea stadium
used to like move up and down and i was like this doesn't feel safe yeah and that's rock special the
camera's fucking shaking yeah that was one of those specials where like they really got the
sound right like you know we always talk talk about this when we're putting out anything.
The energy exchange between performer and audience needs to seem even or slightly on the audience's side.
Have you ever seen somebody special where they're giving a lot, but the audience is recorded poorly?
You just feel uncomfortable watching at home.
It looks like they're bombing.
Even if they're crushing in the room.
I put out clips like this.
It's all good.
I need them down immediately. Why don't you fucking sweeten up?
Now I got a guy that shouts the big Kev,
but I got a guy that films everything
and we have a good system.
But before, I was just hiring a guy in a city
and I'm just trying to get clips up
because at the time I couldn't afford a camera.
I can tell you a story about mixing.
Chris is the Chris Rock show, the HBO show,
which was great.
You guys fucked that up.
Well done.
How is he friends with you?
I actually feel bad.
How is he?
Because it was a good show.
I genuinely feel bad.
Chris Rock had an HBO show that was great.
It was excellent.
It was great. And it was was great. It was excellent.
And it was his show.
It was perfect for him.
Just at the same time that you guys found your show,
Chris found his show.
But he found his in 97
through 2000. His was before. Rock Joe was before.
They passed on Chappelle's show because they said
we have Chris Rock. Why do we need you?
Which made sense at the moment.
I mean, whatever. It's defensible,
but it's also racist.
Why is it racist?
Because they had fucking Bill Maher and Dennis Miller.
That's what they're saying. We have our black guy.
We don't need Chappelle.
I mean, I don't know.
Close to the center of the population.
Thank you for him, by the way.
50% of the prison government.
What?
Didn't you tell me some stale guy?
Transgenders are women or what
uh so rocks rock would kill so hard in his show that it would be like burnt out like the speak
almost it sounded like in the red it would peak right so i when i was mixing chapelle show i would
always make it peak to compete with Chris's show.
There are jokes in Chappelle's show you can't even really hear.
Because they're just laughing.
And they were like, we can't.
I was like, do it.
You have to do it.
And I would have to go to Sony, and they played on the big speakers,
and I'd do the Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson used to play.
He would mix on the big speakers,
and then he would put it on a shitty boombox
and say, this is how people are going to hear it.
So this is how we should mix it.
There's a special from...
He also molested kids.
Allegedly, bro.
Everybody had to do it.
Hey, hey, hey.
But the Bill Burr special in England
when he's in that big theater.
Go on.
Usually those big theaters stink for specials
because you can only hear the applause pops and if you're an act like burr where the laughs
are long and raucous yeah yes they're like like bringing the pain bring the pain have these long
it wasn't just all applause they're actually laughing, but you don't pick those up a lot of times unless you mic the crowd well or use the cam mics.
You really get it because most people just go, okay, here's a clap at the end of the bit.
I guess the bit's over, but then the rest of the bit is fucking painful to watch at home.
But that sound design is ideal for something that size because you feel the waves.
You're watching at home and you're like, oh shit, I feel like I'm kind kind of in this i don't feel like i'm watching this awkward thing where i'm only getting
mike right it's commensurate with around how funny it is exactly instead of like hmm that seems weird
like that seems there's things in chapelle show that didn't get i can't even explain it that like didn't get there's a thing when the the slow motion sketch where we cut to
dave walking in the and he goes and but we it bombed and he goes nothing funny about that but
it was funny we just had to cut out the i can't even explain it but sound design is with comedy
is massive huge for viewing experience at home yes yes and that's what a lot of people
just don't get they'll like they'll just put out but also in the theater if somebody is
like i've had people after my show be like there was a guy behind me was dying and it was so much
better yeah the contagiousness of laughter is such a thing all right guys we're gonna take a
break for a second because i have to tell you something very important okay and that is
you need new earbuds all right it's simple as this you're gonna lose your earbuds you're gonna keep
on buying these other brands that cost so much goddamn money you're wasting your time and when
i say wasting your time i'm not just talking about the time that you go out to get the earbuds
okay when you could be getting the raycons you're wasting time charging those other earbuds because
they don't last as long.
See, the thing about Raycon, Akash,
why don't you tell them, man?
Last a full day.
I moved apartments listening to music,
ignoring my wife the entire time,
never once ran low on battery.
Can I tell you something?
You know, Raycons offers eight hours of playtime
and 32 hours of battery life.
That's more than a day.
Unreal.
Absolutely unreal, okay?
There's also built-in mics, so you can take calls on your earbuds at the press of battery life. That's more than a day. Unreal. Absolutely unreal. Okay. There's also built in a mic so you can take calls on your earbuds at the press of a button. Raycons start
at half the price of the other premium audio brands, but they sound just as good. And Raycons
come with a 45 day happiness guarantee. Think about that. 45 day happiness guarantee. Month
and a half for you to realize you happy? You know that they believe in their shit.
Yep.
You know it for a fact.
So you get three new sound profiles to make sure everything you're listening to sounds its best with just the right amount of bass. They got pure mode for podcast listening, blues, instrumentals, balance mode for podcast listening, rock, heavy metal.
And there's also bass mode, not for podcasting, but hip hop,
EDM, reggae, et cetera. So what I would do if I were you is right now, okay, I would go and make
sure you get 15% off your Raycon order at buyraycon.com slash flagrant. Remember, that is
15% off your Raycon order at buyraycon.com slash flagrant.
Save 15% on Raycons at buyraycon.com slash flagrant.
Akash, you absolutely love them.
Love mine.
I love them.
And if you lose them, you buy another pair,
and you still pay less than you paid for the other guys.
You might as well just buy two.
All right, let's get back to the show.
It's watching a movie in the theater, like watching a comedy in the theater.
I remember I saw Hangover, the first one, in the theater. Maybe we even saw the first one in the theater maybe we even saw it together we saw the second one together we
saw the second one again but being in the theater when a joke kills amazing it's fucking incredible
we thought it was great and then if you go back and re-watch it you're like what was i laughing
but everybody i don't think we are all so confident in our own judgment of humor for the
most part maybe comedians, but the average person,
if I say some shit is funny and you don't,
we're like, oh, I guess it was another.
You also conform to the group.
So if you hear the audience laughing,
you're like, oh, it's funny.
I'm going to laugh.
Yeah.
I saw the same movie.
I saw the exact same one again,
because I was like, ah, it's so funny.
I'm going to watch it again with seven people in the theater.
It was like a matinee.
And I'm like,'m like man is all right
yeah now granted i saw the jokes already before but i'm waiting for my brother whoever i saw with
to just fucking lose his shit but he wasn't yeah so something about that but i was so fucking smart
to test the pieces to test the sketches and then re-edit after tests yeah woody allen used i mean
still does probably uh when he does his schedule. He schedules
in a week of reshoots.
Budget it.
I'm going to fuck up.
I'm going to need reshoots.
It's silly not to.
I used to say
when I worked on The Daily Show sometimes I'd be like,
dude, let me do a monologue
on Tuesday for Wednesday.
You have an audience audience let me just try
it with the fucking audience i think they now they don't have a crowd you try it on tuesday
but you actually record wednesday seth and fallon test their monologues out with the tour
with the tour group comes through at three oh they just they just get 20 people that may not even like them
and then just go like okay anything no anything like the reason my twain speech for dave was good
was because i worked it out like i got off stage and keenan goes how did you do that i go i tried
how do you work it out i just said i gotta do a thing for dave it's not like people like who
yeah oh like you would hit up comedy club i was doing at the end of my set i would go like i'm
gonna do this like when people are doing roasts the people who do the roasts the best are always
the ones that work out their 510s yeah and they i've seen it happen like i've seen them go up and
be like hey this person isn't here and none of the people i'm joking about are here here i just
am gonna say these fucking words yeah and just saying them for the first time, not on camera in front of all these people, in front of the famous people, makes it so much better when you actually do.
Well, you need your body doesn't know what to do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have to like that's another thing.
A Chris thing.
I don't know if he's he before bring the pain.
This made this freed me up to be as fucking dorky as possible.
Before Bring the Pain, in his house in Brooklyn,
he had a wall-to-wall mirrors and a microphone stand.
And he would fucking practice his act in his house like a fucking dork.
Yeah.
And it's one of the best sets ever.
And once I heard that, was like okay i don't i don't want to judge myself for any preparation what was he trying to practice movement do everything
see what like dancers do i always felt with chris early like i was like oh he's this brilliant mind
but i felt like there was a physical awkwardness on stage.
And then he was trying to overcompensate with that, with movement and doing these other things.
The clap thing was a little weird.
But the mind was just so natural. He had a joke about James Earl, the guy who shot Martin Luther King.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was so much better than every joke in comedy and his act.
and it was so much better than every joke in comedy and his act.
It was that, uh,
James Earl Ray assassinated Martin Luther King.
And now Martin Luther King,
it's a national holiday,
including for prisoners.
So James Earl Ray must walk around prison and be like,
you know,
I'm the only reason we have fucking hilarious.
And then he made an hour of those do you know what i mean like you just
that joke and then the another same version of that is uh alan hughes buddy of mine who did
menace society yeah and he did the dray and and uh jimmy ivy and documentary he said that uh he
used to have a rag in his car because menace
society was so bad he would just cry on the way home it was so fucking bad he would just he had
a rag for like and then he would just get a good sequence that he didn't mind showing people and
then you just make that sequence bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and like
that's all everything just what is this do i mind showing this to people cool wow so like you and
your act you're like this fucking joke i'll do it because i got to do the time rock had the fucking
like truest meanest observation i've ever heard about a set of mine my comedy central hour he goes uh
he goes he goes you didn't think you have the time you didn't think you had the time did you
i go what are you talking about he goes he goes you slowed down in the last 15 minutes to make the
time oh i was like wow and did you yeah why not just tell them yo i got 50 i don't even i don't by the way i
don't think i think i did an hour five like i thought i didn't have the time yeah but he i
absolutely slowed down because i thought i didn't have the time there's guys like leno one time
called seth myers and said you know what i like about your your when you're doing a monologue
you i i don't know how you feel about your jokes he goes when jimmy kimmel doesn't like a joke he
looks up and to the left oh shit when like guys fucking veterans you just got this fucking guy
yeah this is patrice one time said i won't say who he said it to and i he said the n word i'm
not gonna say it's not worth it yeah yeah uh i mean i mean it's almost worth it don't get me wrong
uh not worth a guy who wasn't really a comic and he the guy's pacing backstage and patrice goes
just go bomb scared the best the best yeah yeah yeah yeah um so uh yeah but we get to the point where like when a guy
and you're like uh fuck you're right uh yeah that that's canny canny veterans the dope things
about the streaming era is you don't have to fit the tv block yeah oh yeah oh back in the day it had to be an hour it actually had to be probably
like an hour for it was for it was literally for the section of the dvd like it was some it's
literally a manufacturing it doesn't get considered a special to be on a certain type of dvd it's got
it's like it's that dumb and it's that that dumb. And there's 44 minutes of average.
It is that stupid.
It's still that way, dude.
When they hit us up about getting a fucking Emmy or something like that for the Netflix thing we did,
they were like, there's no category for what you guys did.
And then it's just like the talking funny category.
Can you just do that?
No.
There's none? There's no category that you just do that there's none
there's no category
wouldn't it just be comedy special
yeah just put it as comedy special
well technically it's four segments
we'll just make it not
we wrote it as just a thing and then chopped it up
into four
you think it's going to be another January 6th
if you get a nomination
we count it
they're going to storm the academy.
I mean, not like I give a fuck about those
things, but it just shows the antiquated
thing and it's so cool that now with a special you can
like even with what you're doing now, I'm assuming you're going to do
a special, right? And you'll
just choose the hour
and five minutes of it that it's great,
the hour and ten, the fifty-three,
whatever you want it to be yeah is what
it will be and there'll be no pushback i imagine no i don't think so i mean i i don't i want it to
be i'll ask like robbie from netflix like what's the good like i said does it matter where, what the venue is? Ah.
Because I could do it in a, I'm doing it like a two.
Yeah.
But I have good mask jokes.
Do you know what I mean?
Like.
Yeah.
People still get it.
Yeah. It's not like people are like, what?
Yeah.
When is this from?
What?
Fuck this guy.
Squid game.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't have any idea what that could possibly guy. Squid game. Yeah.
I don't have any idea what that could possibly mean, but yes.
Um, and, but I'll ask questions like that.
Like what's the, does venue size matter for viewers?
I think again, rock is like rocks.
Like he used to look at all of his specials as an infomercial
burr never cuts to the crowd yeah i don't know i don't know what makes for a better special like
i don't i don't know what's it charade pointed that i i just moved to new york and i was listening
birth special had just come out why do i do this yeah and charade's like it was great no audience
cutaways none of that i like that and i was like huh i thought that's what like if you're a real
comic you hate cutaways but now i'm like oh i think it's just a personal choice it's literally
just a personal choice i can see when it's just cutting to the audience usually it's like because
they're making an edit right they're taking a chunk out but i can't i like they're making an
offensive joke about asians you cut to the age yeah that's also and they go they're laughing
it's funny hey cheer up honey but being able to i don't know for some reason like one of my favorite things about watching
like deaf comedy jam was the crowd of course yeah but imagine deaf comedy jam like without
the crowd like without seeing people get up out their seats it's one season it's one season dude
yeah yeah stan latham directs all day specials because we just talk
about like this is the best comedy show i've ever seen yeah there's that lip that comes out yeah
and the crowd and the fucking also the thrust is just yeah we did that for and the backdrops like
what is that scaffolding but that's when you can or like a radiator what the fuck is it back there
it was like um i don't even know what that style is called, but like there's a ladder and shit.
It's like industrial.
Yeah, you could just put things up like, hey, we just decided to do it here.
Yeah.
Hey, they didn't even know we were coming.
Yeah.
We're going to do a comedy show.
Yeah.
I think Aziz tried to do that, but with like nothing in the background.
Oh, in Brooklyn.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Brooklyn thing.
Yeah.
That's actually really funny when you watch it because you can see people in the background.
At one point, there's like 10,
and then later there's like two.
And it's like, are people leaving?
But it's like, no, they're the workers.
But did the crew go out for a smoke?
You know, there's union rules.
Guys, stay where you are for 60 minutes.
Yeah, I don't, but I'm more curious about like what 60 minutes. Yeah, I don't.
But I'm more curious about what's effective.
Yeah.
Because I don't know what the good length is.
Cultural connectivity, strong beginning.
So I think it's like something.
First of all, it has to be heat.
Eh.
Because, by the way,
Cat Williams does 13 minutes about Jacksonville.
I've never been to Jacksonville.
You want to get into the minutia of it?
And yet, I think it works.
Another quick Neil Brennan name drop story.
Never met Cat Williams.
Met him.
And I go, you know, there was a Vulture article about what do you like or something.
And I talked about Cat's, the fact that he talked about Jacksonson for 13 minutes and it shouldn't work and it does and i tell cat i was
like hey man i i i like did an interview about you and he goes oh i know i printed it out it's on the
wall of my office because how often does a comedian speak well of another comedian oh wow but isn't
cat like aren't both of his parents doctors like oh yes yeah yeah yeah the perception
of cat i think yeah on the outside the average person like a super brain yeah and i you know
uh i think he told me i know that's i his father his brilliance his father and
this is wrong but it's something like his father invented the enzyme for Tang.
It's like that's like Tang, the powdered.
Yeah.
He was involved in Tang.
It's something like it's not exactly Tang, but it's something like that.
Right.
Yeah.
You got to have super like Connie's mom was like, you got a great, smart fucking.
In terms of doing well, we were thinking about this yesterday. And I think that a lot of times people reach out for the masses when they're trying to make something go.
Because I've been thinking about, at least with Netflix specifically, I was like, what's the last thing on Netflix that just blew up that they wanted to blow up?
That's rare.
Well, they don't know.
Tiger King was not supposed to be a hit.
No, they don't.
Squid Game is not supposed to be a hit.
Right.
There's something on Netflix, and I think there's something in us,
that taps into exploration.
Like Squid Game, when you watch Squid Game for the first time,
not you or me, I just watch it because I'm the second wave,
but the first wave of people that find Tiger King or Squid Game,
they think that they're into a new band.
They're like, yo, I found a secret.
I found a secret on Netflix.
That's what Lorne Michaels says when they go,
they discovered you on Channel 4.
Yeah, they discovered me.
You came into their living room on Channel 4.
They're like, who is this Kristen Wiig?igg huh all right lauren you get the credit okay you discovered yeah but but i think
that there's something to that like we want to discover so having some distance is valuable
or you tap into communities that are more monolithic in their viewing habits right so it's like if cat is the black comic of the time which he was when he was putting out those specials
especially definitely referencing it's like the community is going to flock to it and black
americans over represent influence for their numbers you know what i mean like what black
americans do americans do but they're 12 so's like if 12% can influence what is cool for the other 88%, the marketing shouldn't be done to the 88%.
The marketing should be done to the 12%.
But then it's also one of those things where—
White people are not monolithic in what we watch.
We're too divided.
Like some of us are like, I'm into succession.
Other people like Big Bang Theory.
Like it's rare that all whites go to one thing, but we get looked at as if we do.
But if you go into minority groups and tap into them, they'll start telling everybody.
If there's a new Mexican comic, please believe Mexicans will be talking to each other.
You know what's weird?
Indians tend to do it the opposite.
Indians tend to.
Russell is the exception.
Indians are like Canadians, where once it's popping in America,
now Canadians are like, oh, this is our shit.
Indians tend to need you to be co-signed by mainstream America,
and then we're like, oh, that's our guy.
He'll ride the hardest.
But they need everybody else to sign off before they're like,
oh, okay, yeah, that's our guy.
Russell's the one exception.
I think that's the way that you go to like...
Russell got all of Asia, though.
Yeah, he got...
It's the greatest style comedy where
in the world are impressions of crowd work yeah i just i mean crowd work and then leading it into
an impression you're sitting on yeah it's just brilliant like where in the world are do people
not sound funny from other you know i mean like if i'm in the philippines the mexican accent is
funny yeah doesn't matter where i am but it also like, if people in other countries are watching your standup,
that's partially because of Russell Peters.
Yeah.
Like that motherfucker is like a colonizer of standup.
Yeah.
A conqueror ambassador.
Well,
he said one time I,
I did a show with him and he's like,
my audience doesn't like standup.
My audience likes me because he's the first version of it.
No,
but it is right.
Somebody was saying, I think Rock was saying,
like Dave or it's like that is some all boats rise
with the all boats are raised by the rising tide.
Like Dave and Kevin, you guys are fucking smart.
This is my ninth hour of this podcast.
So I'm sorry if i'm fading a little
bit it's uh giving rogan a run for its money um uh the but like we all like i know you're having
a good conversation we're being sweet you guys jumped on my ass about the rising time
you interpreted that as fuck you that's the problem we're just like
yeah that's what i interpret hello as fuck you yeah that's fair enough okay um uh the uh but
like yeah dave or kevin are these guys that like they're big tent people yeah and then they go oh
i like i like the whole thing yeah but most people don't even watch comedy that That's the crazy part. So that's why you've got to tap in smaller.
And when you tap in smaller, you don't have the same scrutiny from the networks.
Like, even when we did, like, Guy Code.
Remember Guy Code?
Right?
Guy Code wasn't supposed to be a show that was a hit at all.
It was just an afterthought on MTV2.
But it caught, like, young, like, hip-hop heads.
Right.
Like, kids who were into, like, Jordans and shit.
And for whatever reason, it just caught them.
It caught that one little group, and every single one of them watched it.
And then from then, it kind of blew.
Oh, I know what you're saying.
Well, I say it.
They're making all this content for the masses.
It's like you have to run for...
In order to run for president, you have to win the primary, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you have to win the primary.
Even with movies or like especially
the way it used to be is in order to be a movie star you had especially comedy you had to be have
two scenes in another movie yeah that you crushed and then they would go you know like dave was
really funny nutty professor yeah so they were like know, that's how we got the meeting to do to have bake.
Like, and with, with this, to your point, like you have to have, get constituents that
aren't like on main street.
Yeah.
And you have to then like get, it's gotta be like a word of mouth.
Like everything's kind of got like an underground
feel and those communities are underrepresented even in conversation like i even noticed like
when we put out clips like we put out clips about like somebody like a bosnian person i made fun of
randomly the whole bosnian community is passing around i go out to a fucking steakhouse and if
it's bosnians that run the steakhouse, they're all knowing about this moment.
You know?
Keegan Michael Key told me the reason that name teacher sketch thing like.
Is because the people that actually went through that.
No.
Teachers.
It was teacher.
The Reddit thread of teachers was like, oh, this is.
And then it gets.
Reddit is a. Reddit is a...
Reddit is a great website.
I don't give a fuck.
We learned about Reddit through Mark.
We knew Reddit existed, but we didn't really understand
what it was.
This is where I give you credit. I stare at you like,
this is your contribution to the world.
Like, oh, my Reddit guy over here.
And you're like, no, I'm a comedian i'm really i'm
like oh it's a reddit huh yeah no but like but in the same way that like reddit creates these
communities right and these communities push these things to the top right they push it to
the top of our interest and the things that exist in the community the community cares about yes and
once you get all the eyeballs of people who care about a certain thing in the exact same place at the exact same time, you can really push that thing to the top and get some views.
That's what literally minority groups and television or content were before Reddit.
It was literally the idea was like, oh, there's a show.
There's one show about black people on TV.
Let's watch it.
All right.
We'll have a look.
The only people look like
me might as well check it out jeremy lynn plays basketball for the knicks yeah every asian in new
york was at the next game i was a fan because he was close enough there it is i was like i'll take
it up to india yeah i'll take it close enough so it's like everybody keeps on trying to get like
the succession whites in america i don't even know if they're the succession whites but like this idea i think you just do some good shit and usually if it's about
something that group like i get the mental health i get the depression people which who aren't great
with word of mouth let's be honest um i should have picked differently lively but like i get like the mental health area yes and then that then it spreads out from there i i
think that you got to create what you want to create if that's got to come from a real place
but then when you're looking at the marketing and you're like oh shit like nobody's speaking
to these people in the mental health space and like this is something really important to me
and i really care about this shit is probably going to really resonate to them right If you go to an exec and ask them which clip they should put out,
they'll be like, what is your most relatable clip to everybody?
Oh, there's a clip about chicken soup?
And you're like, buddy, you are missing it.
Give me 10% of people that are going to tell
every one of their fucking suicidal friends about it.
Now we're popping.
They've got to watch it quickly because they're going to be dead in seven, eight hours.
It's the opposite of Chappelle's show.
It goes down by 100,000 every week.
Big opening day.
Not a lot of repeat customers.
Life really is circular.
You lose 100 and you gain 100.
Tell us about this show, Neil.
I want to go.
Andrew, thank you.
It's basically the ways in which it it's like it's called unacceptable in that like
i'm not i don't do anything i'm not i don't have kids not married yes i don't eat meat
don't really drink generally smoke weed uh live alone have a dog fine with it i'm liberal not
i'm like kind of not a good liberal yeah racially, it's like I write very good racial jokes,
but maybe Michelle Obama thinks I'm racist.
I don't fit in.
I'm not really like anyone.
Do you know what I mean?
You're giving me all the reasons no one should come to this.
Well, no, but what I've come to realize is like no one feels like they belong that's the thing
like you're about not the closest analog but you're like similarly like yeah something i
yes when you walk on stage you never know what everybody is thinking about you now you probably
know because you're a famous person but remember early in stand-up when you'd get on stage for the first time?
I'd envy a fat guy that would go on stage
because everybody knew.
You know what's funny?
I've had black comics admit to me
that they want to be the only black comic
on a show. Really? Why?
Because they get all the fucking
monopolizing the other.
I'm the fish out of water.
I'm the fish out of water.
They want to be the black show on tv yeah and you can
and you can get the like it's it's the the fishiest out of water person yeah and you get all of like
the you can do all the jokes you know what i mean like you can do all the white people looking at
me whatever like um that's right you have the other black guy that goes on the show before now there's not this discomfort right there's not that instant tension which is
good for comedy um so yeah that feeling of not knowing how you were how a white person opens
his show if they're not fat or like wheelchair or something yeah i'm like that sucks dude that
sucks oh yeah i have to open about my
race which kind of sucks but it's just there you go it's easier yeah it's done what it's like
having a uniform in school yes what makes life easier makes comedy harder yeah yeah right that's
usually a function that all uh an equation that always works right so it's like if you're a hot
woman life's pretty easy makes comedy really hard right and if you're like really weird and you have the kind of like a misfigured face
or some shit like that right you know what to talk about the second you get on stage and i'm
sure it gets annoying and fucking boring i'm sure if you're like a gay comic coming out every single
time that you go on stage right pain in the ass like painful moment in your life you just got to
fucking relive but it's still something that you can talk about that you're on the same page yeah right so instead you'd have to learn how to write jokes right and but i understand that
feeling that like um there's like this vague sense of like what yeah and i don't i'm not when people
go yeah that people go like you're like eminem i'm like what the fuck are you talking about
just because you've seen me with black people it's like the most simplistic dumb uh distillation so it's about feeling like the i'm not acceptable like i'm not in the world
and how it's kind of it eats away at me because i think like why don't you want to have kids why
aren't you married why aren't you a better liberal what is what's going
on with you and race uh like all the uh like why why doesn't weed like mdma doesn't work on my
brain i've done it seven times doesn't work just where i'm like something i keep saying a couple
times during the show i say like something's wrong with me and then there's a story at the end where i like even in comedy i'm like every comedian i mean it's like
seeming more of a writer and every writer's like you're more of a comedian right and when when
comedians say you're a writer it means like give me your jokes yeah and when a when a writer says you're a comedian means like you're annoying yeah so it's like fitting in and then there's like a netflix anecdote where rock made the fucking best
funniest fucking joke about me like but like laughing i'm not gonna do the joke but it was literally like Ellen, Eddie, Dave, Chris, like the Hall of Fame, like Burr.
The joke I do is this story is so name droppy.
DiCaprio was there.
I don't even mention it.
And the cutaways were like Ellen, like, and just like this feeling of like even the I'm not i don't have it's kind of what i was saying
before it's like there aren't a lot of people my peers like age-wise dave ads we're having
different experiences yeah yeah right like chris me and chris are they've gotten closer in the last
decade or but like there's just not a lot of and then there's
like when i started doing stand-up i'd already done chapelle show so i'm like this rich successful
guy and then the new guys are like kroll mulaney aziz then they're all more than they shoot a
so i'm like kind of like ah yeah i don't have like my guys who are your peers right i don't i just don't have any
yeah which i don't expect anybody to care about but it's from my point of view it's like
yeah it's a bit like i there's no one like remember when we it's fucking
you know there's a there's an isolation yes there's an isolation which and then so the
question becomes is something wrong with me or something wrong with the world
or is nothing wrong at all there's a there's a right there's a uh uh nipsey hustle thing and
i'm sure he didn't write it but it's would you rather be at peace with yourself and at war with
the world or war with yourself and peace with yourself like
and it's like ah either one you're at war yeah yeah which war do you so it's just a matter of
choosing and and but what i found is like like with three mics i just went first i wasn't worried
like no one's gonna i kind of thought like people are to relate to this in some way yeah and with yeah it's like
with three mics where people are like oh yeah my so-and-so did i don't think there's anybody who
wakes up and is like i feel perfectly part of something bigger than myself well if you don't
then nobody does no i feel like what you were saying before, like not exactly knowing. Right. You know, like, but I'm also kind of like, I guess, comfortable in operating within that.
Like, you know, in terms of peers, like Akash and I starting together and we have like a
few guys that we started together, but like I have a very small tight knit group.
And it's probably because like within my group, I know that I don't know, I feel like a sense
of responsibility for that group.
So I can't just be like, there's certain guys who are just friends with everybody.
What happens when they need something?
And what happens when you get something
and you have the opportunity to put them on?
You just go, I'm sorry, buddy.
You know what I mean?
I want to be in a position where if I got something,
everybody got something.
And I also don't like being in a position where like...
But that's got its own pitfalls.
Yeah.
If you guys wouldn't mind leaving the room i like to talk
that's why you gotta choose wisely yeah but it's still gonna be like they're still gonna be
fucking petty and and like you just shit that you can't even believe happens give people credit man
i don't that i don't have a problem with but i just know guys that like rich successful guys that don't give credit no no but i know rich successful guys who's like
if they buy the mom a house then the brother and sisters don't want to have thanksgiving at that
house because you think you're better than us that's stupid petty agree, but it's very human. Yeah. And it happens with like school, like not almost everybody,
but like there's like the hero's journey,
and then there's like the opposite of the hero's journey,
like where you just see what happens to narcissists.
There's an article by this guy, Tim Minchin, in The Guardian.
Yeah, he's great.
He hasn't done stand-up in 10 years. He hasn't done Santa in 10 years.
He hasn't done Santa in 10 years and he said
because he could tell what fame was doing to him
was bad.
And he wore eyeshadow before.
So you can only imagine.
But the way he describes
it's like, yeah,
there's just a program
that people get in
and like, oh yeah.
I can tell you what's gonna happen here but yeah i feel like also that happens like when you isolate yourself from you know the people
that can be honest with you and it's just basic insecurities it also might be a little bit
different now with no with much less industry pulling the strings like you operate on your
own to a larger you'll work with these guys
but like yeah you are your own guy yeah i don't i don't feel like i have to sell my soul to go to a
party i don't want to go to a party like you i've seen you turn down all this stuff like you don't
you play the game on your own terms and now we all see we kind of have that ability yeah so i'm not
saying petty shit won't pop up i think we do a good job of always putting the friendship first
but yeah it could pop up,
but also,
I think it's less likely
when like,
I'm sure Comedy Central
was saying stuff to you
and Dave
and causing this whole,
we don't have as much of that
because there's no
Comedy Central right now.
Yeah,
we're not fighting
for like the other people's money.
Whereas like,
and I can see that
totally happening.
Like everybody trying
to get theirs,
but I do feel,
yeah,
that's tricky.
That's also very
tricky and then you're being put against each other and yeah that's that can still work to
make sure this always goes well especially as like andrew's career skyrocketing i always want
to make sure i'm nothing but happy for him and i don't need anything from that that's right my
brother doing great great yes great yeah but it's easy for some people that don't have a relationship
we have to be like jealous or resentful or something like that.
And also a little easier if there's no outside forces being like,
you know, we cause a wedge here.
I'm sure there's literally someone tweeted at me today or something.
Or he DM'd me something about Dave Chlle's dick washer or something it's like
but again dave doesn't say it yeah dave didn't say it yeah some fucking guy said it yeah and it's
still so that's rattling around in my head yeah there's shit that you get a fucking sudden i'm
sure there's a million of them and so it's you have to like filter that out when you see anybody that you're working with
that's like well i'm not going to put that on them but it's just hard you know what you know
it's like what was i think helped us is i got to go through everything akash goes through with
sharla yeah right so it's like i knew exactly what was going on i knew all the fucking dms and
you get you get both sides of the dms like everybody here is gonna get the dms like yo
the show ain't shit without you you're the best blah blah and then everybody's also gonna get
the dms which is like yo you're the old you suck you're the worst you're fucking blah blah blah
i love when you're not there exactly yeah so much better yes so when do you see the worst you're fucking blah blah blah I love when you're not there so much better
when do you see the comments on this
it's gonna be the first 10
we have to vote them down guys
we suck
I think they're gonna like you just ripping us to shreds
no they'll enjoy that
someone's gonna use the word actually
a lot this guy's actually
funny really after
25 fucking years of
giving you material you quoted
to every girl you were trying to fuck?
Now I'm actually funny.
Thanks, you fucking
goofball.
That's what you gotta try to remember, though, is who that
person is.
It's very... How many dudes got pussy
off of your lines? Rick James,
bitch. You gotta check you can't literally.
You gotta check out the sketch.
Yeah.
It's incalculable.
Yeah.
But it is interesting.
Like, I don't know.
It's avoidable and it's very hard to avoid.
Like, it takes premeditation from the first person to succeed.
Yeah.
And then.
Postmeditation. It's like, it just. It it's like it just you you take it's
just like then you have to know what you're getting yourself into yeah and you have to
be you have to like the the you have to like the thing you have to like you have to like this you
have to like this you have to like the people you're working with you have to respect the people
you're working with and then yeah and you also have to i don't know for me it's like that you have to be like
super grateful for it you know i think that's something like we are the worst people we meaning
comedians are often like the worst people to become famous because there is an inherent
narcissism and ego well it's also a smallness of of character where it's like i gotta be the
prettiest and there can be no second place yes
no one can come in second place like no no i have to win outright yeah yeah or else it's let's not
even do it yeah yeah yeah uh and that's the that's the that's the stuff that and but again
that ends i know a lot of really it's not just comedians i
musicians yeah it's people in the business just yeah it's just showbiz people that's what fucks
everything and it's like it can i get a water yeah can i yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah is your can
you grab a i'd drink both of them yeah um but yeah dude having that like i don't know i've seen that
i've seen the fucking jealousy
and that kind of stuff becoming corrosive and there was this guy this is like fucking random
guy just said this to me and it kind of really resonated because i would think about with charla
and charla's like just super he's very generous with credit and charla's like very like uh not
very show busy yeah he's he's not show busy and that's something like i saw him
just be successful without having to do that whole thing yeah but also like i would tell him all the
time i'd be like buddy like you're way bigger than me like if you want to call this your show or any
of that kind of stuff and he was like no no it's you know it's ours we're just right together and
like i just tried to fill in as many gaps as i could i was like okay he's offering all this you
know what's weird about the brilliant idiots you guys are more popular separately than you are together it's fucking
bizarre it's one of those weird it's like it like it's so weird like you're both great on your own
and people are like yeah just get rid of the get rid of the other guy and meanwhile i don't know
it's fucking it's so it like goes against that spirit thing that i was saying yeah because the spirit
it's like you guys have a spirit but i think the audience is like we don't like this spirit
separate it but i like peanut butter and chocolate but together together why would you
but i learned a lot from him about it and like dealing with that kind of stuff and
and that was very helpful and i think a lot of people they just don't get that opportunity
and like also understanding like the feeling of being in in in that position being like a number
two and to somebody who's huge like we started that podcast like charlamagne was fucking going
bro like it was out of here you know so understanding what that was checking my
fucking ego ego every week like i'm sure you've experienced this being around famous people like you're around someone
famous and you try to say something and the person that you're talking to cannot even shift their head
to care when you say something because leonardo caprio is talking or he could talk he might not
even be saying anything right and just to sit in a room and like say something funny and then look at everybody like, no,
nothing.
You just wait.
Well, that's whenever I'm on stage with Dave.
He'll like my jokes have to be perfect.
Yeah.
And he just has to be like, hit the mic on his knee and people are like, fucking yeah.
I have to like fucking have diagrams and shit
because they're like i don't i would say like he's skittles and i'm the guy with the recipe for
skittles it's gonna taste the same yeah no it's like i know how to make it it's like do you have
skittles no but like i developed skit yeah forget it yeah yeah um yeah that but that
is good that you've been able to it's if you it's kind of like you yeah and you're lucky and you
and appreciate it even if it's not uh the most lucrative or it's it's i was talking to somebody about this the other day comedian
uh big comedian and i'll just say who was cedric right yeah cedric said i like going on tours with
other people more than by myself less money less time it's just but off stage the hang it's like
how much money do you need yeah at a certain point it's like more but you're
fucking alone and not that it's not friend you're not i the joke i've been doing you know people on
reality shows say i didn't come here to make friends i actually came here to make friends
like i came here to make friends and everybody else is like ah i got the okay i just i thought
it would be i
think it's cool that we can do this and make money from it so like the but you're also doing it for
the love of the game like right you didn't have to come back weirdly when i was starting i think
you were getting i never was in it though that's the thing is i was never a comedian i remember
seeing you right you see the comedy village yeah remember the comedy of course right there and remember seeing going back and and i was like oh yeah i guess of course he does
stand up but i didn't know you were a stand-up right so i didn't know what it was i like wasn't
but you had jokes though so it's not like you weren't no no i knew how to write jokes but i
wasn't i would do it like once a week you know what i mean like i was busy yeah but it was just
yeah so like your path was
different it was like um yeah it's like your guy there's no that's the other thing it's like i
don't have any it's like you know like when a guy creates a huge show and then yeah the other guy
goes the africa and then the one guy does stand up yeah yeah it's like there's no analysis there's
no like oh so we should there's no one yeah i did it wrong yeah like i just did it wrong which but i it's fine
like it's not even like there's no wrong but you just came at it and like for me i'm looking at
like you actually love the game i love it i i i'm like a gym like i love yeah i like you're a
seven footer who actually wants to play basketball the kim monologue where i'm like man i wish i
fucking could have gotten a couple licks in that shit like even chris and blake were in a sketch
i was like this fucking stupid motherfuckers didn't text me like i would i had jokes immediately for
both of them that were whatever yeah like you just want to get in like oh i like i like it
yeah you went back in bro well i like, I like... Neil's got a little...
I like comedy.
I don't want to...
I like comedy, but I don't...
That doesn't mean...
He wants to be like a consultant.
I'm not out of it.
No, what about that?
What about instead of doing the toil and the grind,
but be a consultant on something that is regular?
Have I ever told you what I make on commercials?
Yeah.
That's dumb. it's just not like why why yeah you're the i just do stand up and then i'll come to my house i'll come and do your commercial yeah i'm happy to do it i'll help and a lot of times you're like
has anyone ever offered you an exec job it seems like you have a good eye for funny.
You have been behind the scenes.
Why would I want to go somewhere and try to convince other,
convince unfunny people?
I would think if I'm an exec and I'm saying,
what should we greenlight and what should we not?
This would be a good guy to be like,
hey, what do you think of this?
I actually offered, I told the network,
give me a hundred grand a year and I'll read all your scripts.
And I'll tell all your scripts.
I'll tell you which ones you should do or not.
Oh, God, no.
Can you tell his company?
It was 15 years ago.
They probably just thought
it was out of my mind.
That doesn't mean anything.
I don't...
Whatever.
People want to get in the game.
They want the scalp to they want to get in the game yeah they want they they want the scalp they want to they want i that's the other problem with my me and my age is
like no one can take credit for me oh they want to be no one be like you know i saw him uh he pulled
up in a tesla and i thought he's never gonna make it yeah um like he needs my help like i'm the only guy
that can take it is dave yeah so like yeah that's another like not like it's a huge disincentive but
it's more exciting to discover aziz for them but i'm sure for you like the success of three mics
was probably very validating you know like okay here's this thing that i'm doing
outside of what most people know me for yeah and it's unique and successful
it's different the twain speech was more that than anything yeah yeah but the twain speech is still
connected it's only seven minutes but again you have to go super viral it's but and the other thing psychologically cutting from me to dave where people are like what wait what uh
seeing him like it yeah was like does something to them oh fuck yeah like oh it clears everybody's cash. Because I thought he...
Wait, so he would probably say stuff
and then he would say...
Also, you're no longer racist.
If anybody thought you were.
A skillion percent.
I swear to God, I actually believe that.
I legitimately believe that.
So it does work to have cutaways.
I think that's what you're trying to say.
But if you've got a specific goal.
Black people.
They cut to America's favorite black guy.
You can get a cutaway of Dave laughing.
That's all that matters.
We've got to use that cutaway.
I'll use it on dates
sometimes.
Neil, listen. Tell them
where they can find you.
UnacceptableShow.com
Oh yeah, we didn't get to your anklet, please
We didn't? It's just ayahuasca
Oh really?
It's just an ayahuasca
A tribe in
The Amazon
Either Peru or Brazil
Drinks the medicine and makes these
Whatever, jewelry or whatever the fuck this is And either Peru or Brazil, drinks the medicine and makes these, like, makes whatever,
jewelry or whatever the fuck this is.
And it just is a little reminder
that I'm flying away at the end of all this.
Hey.
Hey, I don't know what you're doing over there.
You see, he has a moment of vulnerability.
It's a moment of vulnerability.
And then I went funny.
And then immediately into, oh, fuck everybody. I don't like this. I know what you're doing over there. vulnerability we haven't even made fun of Al's trash ass pants you oh yeah
that's a crazy behind the desk
We really went two hours.
No one brought it over.
No one said anything. Because you couldn't see.
Guarantee everyone knew who the answer was.
No, they're not.
Dude, what the fuck, bro?
Red pants.
I didn't know you were Jamaican.
I got the dress, dude.
Oh, yeah?
Guarantee.
I like when a guy tries to break a new style.
It's like, just let it.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What exactly are those for?
It might work out, but you're gonna...
No, I'm really just trying to break something. You're trying to break it?
Yeah, just break a style. From the
brand Rude. I guarantee you.
From the very underground
multi-million dollar fashion
brand Rude, you're trying to break it for them.
It's still a different type of style.
Got you. Cargo pants.
You're gonna break cargo pants.
You'll be wearing it in a month.
That's what happens.
I wear a deep cut shirt
and then I have a deep cut shirt.
That's what happens.
That's what happens.
I think he's right.
I think he's right.
I get some muscles
and I get some muscles.
Come on.
This is what happens.
Come on, bro.
Come on.
Come on, son. Come on, bro. Come on. Come on, son.
Come on, son.
I would say this is unacceptable.
You know what else is unacceptable, Neil?
There's a play going on right now.
Can you call it a play?
There's a play.
There's a play.
There's a play going on right now.
There's a play.
There's a lot of...
It was starting as such a good segue.
It was going to be such a good segue. Yeah yeah and then he called it a play it's a
play um where's that at unacceptable show what are we unacceptable show.com unacceptable six
weeks it's six more weeks i've been at another six weeks yeah wow this is the craziest thing
ever to me because the idea the pressure of selling tickets on the road is already a lot
i've already sold 8 000 and i and I have to sell way more.
But in the same city.
I know.
Yeah, it's nuts.
Yeah.
That's nuts.
It's wild.
And do you have people come back?
Yeah, I think so.
Does that make you feel uncomfortable?
I can't tell.
Okay.
Oh, you black out the audience.
I won't allow myself to see cutaways.
You can only see a few rows. I don't black out the audience. I won't allow myself to see Cuddlewits.
You can only see a few ropes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I don't, you know, pick on Puerto Ricans like you do.
Just one.
Just that guy and his pants.
Yeah, so people come back and say they like it, but I don't know who's That was worse than play
That was way more
I don't insult minorities
Like this guy
It works
But unacceptable show
Now that you think I'm actually pretty funny
He's actually pretty funny
Yes
I'm at actuallyprettyfunny.com
I think that's a way better way to say it
Actually pretty funny
But no go check out Neil's show
Neil you know I'm a huge fan
I think you're absolutely brilliant
I know that you don't want me to compliment you
I fuck with all you guys
I watch all the clips
I was excited to meet all you guys
The other thing about these shows are
I said this on Rogan one time.
These are like sitcoms.
Whether you guys realize it or not.
I remember when you got locked up
in Amsterdam
and your wedding episode
and you did the college
where you went back to your college.
I know the fucking narratives
of all these
like shows that i don't even i don't watch every episode but i know enough to like i
watch the relationship that we had with sitcoms back in the day it's the same thing of like oh
it's so-and-so ding dong yeah here comes fucking i'm looking at stupid pants get them
so you agree they suck, right? The pants are awful.
Don't say anything.
You got that ankle shit on you.
It looks like a parole bracelet for gays.
For gays. You said gays.
I haven't heard gays in a long time.
Parole bracelet for gays. Okay, we have the title
of the episode.
Neil, we love you. We appreciate you.
Go check out Neil's show, man.
I'm coming, not
this week, next week.
I want to buy my own tickets.
You've got to be vaxxed. I'm vaxxed, bro.
I know, but that's for the black people.
Can you just have a cart?
I literally heard a bunch of kids
plotting in front of the show.
I was just sitting in front of the show.
I was like, nah, I got the fake cart.
I'll get you.
That's got to make you feel good, though,
that they want to break the law.
No, yeah, that they're willing to break the law for me.
No, yeah, the 75% of black people cannot.
When I did the Breakfast Club,
I was like, well, this is practice.
This is practice for a white radio show who can actually come.
Guys, Neil Brennan, go check out Neil, man.
Make sure you check out the show and let him know that we told you to go there.
Okay?
Harass him.
Do you shake hands with people after the show?
I come outside. Oh, I love it. Do you shake hands with people after the show? I come on time.
Oh.
I love it.
Love it.
Man of the people.
Yeah, real regular guy.
Unacceptable show.
Thank you guys so much.
Flagger 2.
Peace.
Peace.
Peace.
Peace.