Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Lesbian Explains How to Please A Woman w/ Sam Jay (Netflix You People)

Episode Date: January 31, 2023

We got Sam Jay in the building to talk about “You People” on Netflix right now, working with Eddie Murphy, the pressures of being “the man”, and how she stopped cheating. Check her Netflix specials and catch her on tour. INDULGE! 00:00 Samdrew Jayte Joins Us 01:45 Cheating was a phase - Sam’s reformed 03:58 Bust the profile wide open - new calibre 06:50 Cheating + Clean for a year + Sam loves her Fiancee 18:51 Accepting your blessings 22:18 Aren’t Preachers just using God’s bars? 23:26 Who dissed Drake worse? 31:27 Andrew’s and Sam’s Amazing Performance in “You People” 37:01 Capitol riots + Whites don’t care about being White 40:49 A woman attaches her value to a man’s status 44:45 The responsibility of being a man - not understood well 48:38 Advice on being a great boyfriend 51:42 Being a great girlfriend & Pressure of being a man 56:06 Toxicity - masculinity and femininity 01:04:02 Cheating’s real impact 01:08:45 Stepping up + Emotional Risk 01:13:26 Give people the time to react 01:19:49 Everyone texted their girlfriend 01:21:22 The ick is real 01:24:11 Sam too rich to be in a rush 01:27:12 Sam is masc. + bumping into Exes 01:29:32 Atlanta allows Black people to feel free 01:36:37 People ruining the place we want to visit

What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flagrant. And today we're joined by genuinely one of my favorite comics. It's working right now. Star, star of the new movie, you people. I hate you. Star, star of the new movie, you people, carries the movie. All right, this is what we're doing.

You know what I'm saying? This is how we're playing. Come on, man. We got Sam Jay in the building. We got Sam Jay in the building. Sam's about to take over for Andrew Tate. Oh, shit. Yo, Sam. No, I am not.

Yo, you were talking before the pod. We were about to get some real Tate-isms. Andrea Tate. This is it. Remember before the pod, you were like, I'm not letting my girl drive my Bugatti. You were saying stuff like this.

Yeah. Why were you saying that? That was weird. I absolutely said nothing like that, guys. I was on Jennifer Hudson today, okay? You got transitioned?

Yeah. You got a lot to lose now. Yeah, man. She's like, let me hit the weed. I'm going to mellow out. I knew you did something corporate earlier because you hit the weed the second you going to mellow out. I knew you did something corporate earlier

because you hit the weed the second you walked in the studio. You need to adjust. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Hollywood ranting and raving about you. Would you? This is real. It's real.

And we have the inside scoops. Yeah, yeah. I was talking to Hollywood earlier today. Call them Hollywood. Hollywood was ranting and raving. Mr. Hollywood. But what we need to know is, with this newfound superstardom, you know what I mean? Like, you know, how are you managing the expectations of wifey?

You know what I mean? Yeah. No, you know, I went through, like, I went through, like, I went through my, like, cheating phase and, like, bullshit know I went through like I went through like I went through my like Cheating phase And like bullshit I did And we like

We went through that Like we'll just dive right in We went through that It's funny that it was a phase It was a phase It was a phase It was a phase, right? It was a phase

I think it was a phase How long was a phase? Because I'm on the other side of it So I can look at it Very objectively And go like Are you faithful now? Yes fully

Oh Yeah Oh my god Hey hey hey Black women don't cheat Black women don't cheat No Seriously like

I'm like I'm past it You know what I mean? And like So I guess even with like All this Because there has been Some new attention

Like just immediately And I don't know if it's like I there has been some new attention, like just immediately. And I don't know if it's like, I don't want to say it's like, oh, people saw the movie. I just think I'm like, I'm walking around with big dick energy right now. You know what I mean? Like, I'm walking around. You fly as fuck. You fly as fuck. I'm walking around.

Sam Benfly. Sam Benfly. I'm walking around with a little swagger, though. Like, my energy, my aura is coming off. Yeah, yeah. Because you kind of feel when your shit's like transitioning. And I'm like, my energy, my aura is coming off. Yeah, yeah. Because you kind of feel when your shit's, like, transitioning. And I'm like, you know, this shit is transitioning. Can you?

So I'm giving a little bit of that energy to it. So definitely it's been like, it was crazy. Like, I was coming up to the cellar. She's going to be so pissed I tell the story. We were just at the cellar, and I came out. And we good? This is my titty. Peace for shitting. And I came out, and we good? This is my titty. And I came out, and I was holding her hand,

and this girl walked up, like got dead in my face, looked at her, then was like, hey, what bar are you going to next? Oh, shit. And I was like, this is fucking crazy. And I was like, I'm going home, you know? See, you a square now, sis. I was like, I'm going home, you know? See, you a square now, see? I was like, I'm going home.

What is happening here? That's when you look at your girl, you're like, you see, baby? Yeah, you see. It was a phase. I'm like, damn. But now it's like, for real, like, I don't even be looking at bitches, bro. Wait, I don't know if I believe you. No, no, no, same.

Same, same, same. I don't even register, because there's no, no, no, same. Same, same, same. I don't even register because there's no point. What's the point? Fucking is good. What's the point? Yeah, yeah, you done all the fucking... Because I'm not going to cheat.

I'm not going to do it. So I don't even need to register this person. They just be like blurs. It's just like, all right, lady. But do you ever look into DMs that even Instagram keeps for you? I look... Now, I'll go into DMs.

You got to know. No, but the DM DMs, the ones where Instagram's like, trying to be faithful. This is what I will do. I will fix it. Yeah, Mark Zuckerberg,

like, yo, beat. The second one. The second one is gonna change the shit up. I'll go in the second one. I'll go and I'll like,

I'll bust the profile open because I want to know what I'm attracting. Bust the profile open. I'll bust the profile wide open. Yeah, like, because I want to know how the caliber is shifting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's Sam at now? I want to know.

You know, you want a barometer. And has it? Yeah, it shifted. It shifted. You just went from I don't look at women to I look at everybody. Busted open. Just busted. I mean in the streets.

I mean in the streets. I mean as I'm moving throughout my day. There was a time moving throughout my day I was like, damn. I'm like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom.

I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the streets. I mean in the streets. I mean as I'm moving throughout my day. There was a time moving throughout my day I'd be like, damn.

Damn. And now I'm just like, eh. For what? But when you're just at home, you're just taking a shit or something like that and you're on Instagram.

I want to know who's, why, where them get it. You want to know how lucky your girl is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, would you share, like, if you got a crazy DM, would you be like, babe, look where I'm at? I tried and she got mad.

I did try. It seems like a bad idea. What do you mean? I was just like, hey. It seems like a bad idea. That seems like a bad idea. I've been through it. Yeah, yeah, no, no.

I tried, like, hey, hey. No, nobody's DMing me, but that seems like a bad idea. Hey, your girl's idea. I've been through it. Yeah, no, no. I tried, like, hey, hey. No, nobody's DMing me, but that seems like a bad idea. Hey, your girl's coming up in the world. The bitches is getting madder. Like, give me some props. Like, give me some props. You'd be proud of me.

Yeah. Like, give me some props. Give me a high five. Like, just be my homie right now. Yeah. And then it didn't work out that way. What did she say? Did she try to DM him?

She said, I'll beat the fuck out of you and that bitch. Walked out the fucking door. Couldn't she she though? My girl? Yeah. She act like she can fight, but I don't believe that she can.

Yeah, I don't. I don't believe she can. She always says she like, she'll beat somebody up, but I don't think so. Has she ever tried to square up on you? Yeah, of course. Really?

Yeah. I don't believe in all that, like, you should never get hit in a relationship. I'm like, I don't know what kind of relationship y'all be in But I be cheating so Shit's gonna happen It's the new tape It's the new tape

This is the Manosphere's savior right here But like shit's gonna happen You know what I mean Yes she's definitely yes I've definitely pushed her to the limits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I remember you telling me some fucking story. I think when we were in L.A., you were telling me some shit about when you got caught or her catching you.

Oh, good Lord. Is that private information? Yes, nigga. Wait, wait, is that? Wait, wait, wait. We're just some friends being chummy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, wait. We're just some friends being chummy. Yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, wait.

But also tell it. Since this is all behind me as a person. Yes, exactly. I mean, yeah, I've been caught before. I don't... I always end up just telling on myself. Like, once the pressure's on, I'm like, man, yeah. You know, I crumble really quickly. Wait, what? To the, once the pressure's on, I'm like, man, yeah. You know,

I don't, I crumble really quickly to the like, she's good at lying. Like, she'll be like, I already know. I know what you did.

And I'm like, oh man, she knows. It's like an interrogation. Yeah, it becomes this like, intense thing. We got evidence on you.

Good cop, gay cop. And then I'm like, I don't know. And it's like, I don't know what she really does though and what she doesn't know. And then, I don't, the more you go fishing, the more you's like, I don't know what she really does, though, and what she doesn't, though. And the more you go fishing, the more you're like, ugh. And then she's good at being elusive enough where I'm like, she might.

And then I'm just like, man, I can't live like this. So I was like, yo, I did the bad thing. And have you ever admitted to the bad thing and then she thought it was some other shit? If she did, she played it. I don't know. She's still holding those cards if that's the case. Oh, some just in case shit. Yeah, you got to get an attorney.

You got to get a lawyer or something. Like, you need representation. Like, you can't be snitching on yourself all the time. Dude, bro. That's why I'm out the game. I'm done, bro. How long have you been together? We've been dating off and on for 15 years.

Wow. So how long have you been clean? How was the phase? I mean, we went through a whole thing that is not super secret. I talked about it on pause. We went through a whole thing and we went through an actual breakup

and stuff like that. The summer I was doing the movie, really, right around that time. And it's been like a year. So you've been together 15 years and you've been faithful to one of them? Like a year. That's pretty good. That's pretty good.

That's like 7%. It's the rest of her life, though. Also, you gotta look at this. Yo, who's team you on? I know, that's crazy. Also, come on, bro. That's a long face. All right, but slow down, Pimp Stick.

Like, I'm not, like, chill the fuck out. One, this is 15 years off and on. Like, we're American. We're not Indian. We don't just lock up. Exactly. 10 years old. Your parents didn't arrange it?

We just stay together. We were dating off and on this 15 years. It was a consistent 15 years. Hey, why are you making it racial? I'm just doing math as Indians do. That's all I'm doing. If it's one time a year,

that's only 15 times. No, no, no. I've only cheated twice. Thank you. I've only cheated twice. You need an attorney. I'll represent you. I'll represent you.

Two times. That wasn't just out here like going crazy. It's a light work. You're a great actor. You're a fucking great actor. Two times. We have the just out here like going crazy. That's light work. You're a great actor, yo. You're a fucking great actor. Two times. We have the evidence on you.

We know. We know what you did. Wow. We know what you did. So he waited 14 years to cheat? Like we would- Al doesn't respect you the other way. I'm like, I'll break it down to y'all.

Y'all really must know. You want the fucking details. We were together. You didn't know this was a gossip podcast? We were together. You didn't know this was a gossip podcast? We broke up. We broke up. And then we got back together.

So when I met her, okay, so first of all, I have a problem with cheating. Period. So when I met her, I was with somebody. So I cheated with her on the person that I was with.

She should give you one. No, she should give you one. That doesn't count towards the record, though. That's fine. So then I, like, immediately, like, left that person.

Like, had sex with my girl and the next day I was like, yeah, we can't be together anymore because I knew I wanted to keep having sex with my girl. It was that fire. I was like,

it was that fire. I was like, I'm coming back a bunch of times over here. So I need to, like, be out. How did you break up With your old girl

Cause you gotta be like I just told her I just came home like Hey yeah this ain't working You know what I'm saying Like I gotta do me But now she knows right Yeah yeah

Does she understand Like Yeah she was just like No she doesn't understand She was pissed But then I got My girl then Wait till she sees this

We were together Box trash We were together And then my girl I'm just saying. That's what you said. That's not what I said. You just, you know what I mean?

I just found some better box. That's all I can say. Hers was trash. But you just found, like, a more elite. You found elite. It just got better. It just got better. It does get better.

That's what they say. So then we got, me and my girl were together. Then she, she claims she didn't tell me, but she cheated on me. Oh. We broke up. Oh, wow. I got back with the girl I was with before that. You went back to the old box?

I went back to the old box because I was down bad. Then, then. This poor girl, bro. No, and I always feel bad because she was a very good person. I've always felt really bad about that, genuinely. White girl? No, black girl. I've never dated a was a very good person. I've always felt really bad about that, genuinely and more. White girl? No, white girl. I've never dated a white girl.

G's up. Oh, shit. Now we, hey, now we're connecting. Now it's quiet over there. Then we got back together again. You want to dab, you want to... Dr. Umar Graham, stay right here, motherfucker.

But we got back together and shit. So we broke up, right? She cheated, we broke up. I got back with the other girl. Really, really, you know, I still, like, love my girl. Me and the other girl ended up just not working out. Get back with my girl. She does some foul shit again.

Whoa. Whoa, Sam, you're the victim here. Yeah. Thank you. Does some foul shit again. We go through it. But we were just young and going through it. It's whatever.

Then I got married, dog. I married a whole other person. You got married? Yes. I married a whole other person because I was like, I really let my girl, I hit her up and I was like, do you want to be with me? Do you want to run the streets? And she was like, I'm having fun. And I was like, alright, then I got to kind of like

get you out of my life unless it's because I'm always like kind of on this, you know, hamster wheel. Lesbians really do be moving in with each other after one date. It's like hamster wheel with you. So I was like, I just got to, if you don't want to be with me like that, I'm talking about my old girl. I was like,

if this is not really gonna happen, then I gotta like go. And then process, I met the woman I married. The day I got married, my girl called me from a block number, like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, you know,

we're supposed to be, you're bugging, like divorce this bitch. And honestly, when she had the phone, I was like, this marriage isn't going to fucking work. She's going to just, she's going to destroy this. The day of? Yes, day of. Was all your family there and shit?

Because I had blocked her. So she couldn't get in contact with me. So she called me from another number. Wow. That's crazy. From the pay phone. That's ominous. So after that, I was like, damn, that's crazy.

Then I got comics to watch. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Don't bring up comics to watch. That matters. Don't bring up Byron Bowers. Your ex called you on your wedding day? That's the craziest thing ever. You about to get married, and this girl calls you and says, don't do that shit.

Byron catching his straight. That is the— Shout out to Byron. This is nuts. I just said I do, and I was like back in my room changing. No! Was your family there? Was everyone there? No, it was very small. We went to Provincetown. It was a couple of my cousins.

It was like a small thing. You didn't believe in this from the beginning, did you? It was a bringer show? Not inviting your family? There's 20 people there? It's like an open mic wedding. You don't need to be at this one. The room's paper. It's like an open mic wedding. You don't need to be at this one. It was super small. And yeah, she called me

and she was just kind of like, what are you doing? Like, you know, this isn't going to last. What happens when you hear a voice on the other side? I was like, my heart like stopped. I'm like, oh no, like,

she's back, you know? Because I know like, I'm like so in love with her. I know. This is why I like blocked her from everything. She should have busted in the church and in love with her. I know. I know. This is why I blocked her from everything. She should have busted in the church and been like, I object. That would have been fire. Like the whole movie? Whatever.

So then after that, I got comments to watch that she happened to be here because she was working at the Victoria's Secret fashion show. So she was like, yo, I want to see you. We need to have a conversation. We need to sit down face to face and have a conversation. And that's love, too, because she could be trying to get after

them Victoria's Secret moms, but she wanted you guys. So then I was... I mean, she probably was doing a little both. Maybe. Damn, Al! I mean, damn, Al! I'm waiting for you.

You keep the track record. She waited for you. She waited for you. But that's back then. She waited for you. They both good. So, y'all some toxic motherfuck then. She waited for you. They both good. Y'all some toxic motherfuckers.

Yo, golly. So I told my wife. Golly. Golly. So AKA love. Toxic. Yes, that's what I think. But I told my wife

that I was trying to be like really like, hey, I don't want any shit. She's going to be there. I did not plan that. This is circumstance. Blah, blah, blah.

She wants to have dinner like I she knew all about her like she you know this is a point in my life like I do believe this requires some closure she was like

cool I trust you which is a bad decision wow I went if young Metro goes yeah I went I had the dinner

whatever um and then after the dinner I was like damn like I love her you know what I mean like I kinda like I had the dinner, whatever. And then after the dinner, I was like, damn, I love her. You know what I mean? I was like, this is... Was she gassing you up too?

She was just being... She smell good? She smell good? She looked great. She smell good. But also she is my best friend for real. So you guys were just chopping it up? And she knows me, so she said real shit to me.

She was like, you're settling. She was like, even if settling. She was like, even if you're not with me, you've never been a person that settles. What the fuck are you doing? And I was like, damn, I am.

Gaslighting. That's gaslighting. That's gaslighting, y'all. That's gaslighting. Damn, I am settling. But it was true. It was true. I met this woman.

I married her, like, quickly with, like, I would say maybe nine months with her. It wasn't like, she wasn't bad wasn't bad the way that I date. And it was just like, in every way, I was like. You're so in shock. Your ex is behind you.

In every way, it was just different. She was dope in a thousand ways. It was just very different. And it was just like, but I don't think it's a bad thing. She was just very different. And it was just like... But I don't think it's a bad thing. She was also running from something, too. It was two people kind of... Trying to distract themselves from some real shit. Yes.

Both of us were making that type of submission because I was broke as fuck. She made way more money than me. She dated professional people, usually. I was like broke, dirty comic at this time. So she was settling in a million ways too so it wasn't one-sided by any means but after that shit I kind of knew and then the marriage did not work out partially I think because I was bringing that energy now

I didn't cheat or anything but I was just bringing that energy and then there was just some other problems that were just there and that were going to be there because we rushed into it and didn't take our time and we weren't like there was just a million problems that were just there. And that were going to be there because we rushed into it and didn't take our time and we weren't, like there was just a million things that was going to go wrong. And it ended up ending in some wild shit. I talked about it on my album.

She punched me in the face and then like the police had to come and all this shit. And the next day, my girl, my fiance, came to LA because she had took everything from the apartment.

I was just, all I had was a futon. She took everything. So my fiance came to LA, she had took everything with the apartment I was just all I had was a futon she took everything so my fiance came to LA like to just help me like deal with the courtship I had to do it and just be there with me

because I was just in alone in an apartment on a futon and then like two weeks from that happening I got SNL and moved to New York

wow and then she came with me to New York and we've been together since and then the cheating started on my end you start me to New York, and we've been together ever since. And then the cheating started on my end. You start seeing them New York baddies. The cheating started on my end,

and I cheated twice within this five-year period. So even Steven, yo. That's a wash. You're not a cheater. You're someone who got cheated on and then just got even. Yeah. Very different.

It's a wash. Very different. I was wrong, and I have grown. That's the right thing to say. That's what you're supposed to say. That's what you're supposed to say. That's what you're supposed to say. When we get our podcast,

we're going to talk for real. She can't hear it. Yeah, you've been institutionalized. We've all been there. Beautiful. When you go

and lock it down, you've married the other one in nine months. This one, you've been with 15 years. I think she... You proposed.

You proposed, right? Yeah, she's engaged. She said that. My fiance now. Yeah, when've been with 15 years. I think she... You proposed. You proposed, right? Yeah, she's engaged. She said that. My fiance now. Yeah, when's the wedding? 2024. Fall or spring. We're trying to get married

and Martha's been here. Unless they make a sequel to You People. Then I'll be busy. Then I'll have work to do. We'll just hit back. So that first wedding was just as fast as the one

in You people. Sam. Okay, so obviously great things happening from you people. You know, marriage is in a, or almost marriage is in a very good place. This is good things happening for you. Yeah, I feel good, balanced. Do you feel good with things going so well, or is that a more difficult situation for you emotionally? I wouldn't say it's more difficult,

but I have been trying to, I'm a, oh, when's the other shoe gonna drop type of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, that, like, looms over me, and I've been, like, really, like, working on that, just, like, spiritually, spiritually like letting go of fear. That will fuck people up too.

Yeah. Because now you're so focused on the negative thing that could happen. Yep. So I've been just working on like that was my New Year's resolutions that I just want to be

less fearful period of things like because when good things happen to me then I'm like man maybe I shouldn't get on any planes for a while. You know what I mean?

It's like my brain just comes to me. You're like am I pushing it? Yeah. Do I need to go to Miami? Yeah. Yeah. It's like, uh. All of life, bro.

No, but it's true. It's not like a guilt. It's not like success makes you guilty in a way, but there is a version of it where it's like, should I be more grateful for this? Am I pushing this too far?

Am I going too hard? Like, also, like. Sorry, but this is an industry where it's extreme highs and a lot of extreme lows so you're just kind of we've all been through the extreme lows and the extreme highs we've all make taking that trip at least once so when you're at the extreme high you're like bro is the shit coming around the corner and i don't see it because last time i didn't see it so this time i need to

see it that's for me at least that's interesting i feel like it's more like a relationship with with like i'm not even religious but like, like, with God almost. I'm like, am I acknowledging the blessings enough? I have that fear, too. Hey, bro, like, hey, hey, this is awesome, and I don't want you to think that I'm taking this shit for granted. Right. And if I do some wild stuff, like go skydiving for no fucking reason, I'm wondering if God's going, like, oh, you want to play with this?

Oh, Icarus? Yeah. Exactly. You're flying too close to the sun. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. You're flying too close to the sun. Yeah. Exactly. So, and then it, like, and it can, like, get weird, like, weirdly obsessive where you're just, like, damn, like, you know, like, when I knew the movie was coming out and, like, two weeks ago, I'm like, oh, I just got to stay alive till January 27th.

Please, just let me be good because so much crazy shit's happening all the time, you know? Yeah. So, it was, like like just trying to work on that fearfulness that just kind of naturally like... That is the weird thing. Some of that is healthy.

And like crave success, you know, and crave like a creative outlet, but at the same time have like a fear associated with it and you never have to

worry about that shit until you actually get success. You know what I mean? Like you think the success will be peaches and cream. You're like, okay, I got it. It'll be liberating.

It's not liberating in a lot of ways. And especially if you're used to fuck shit happening, that becomes your normal. Yeah. Yeah, man. And nobody is there to, like, help you through that. Because how many other people have experienced the level of success? And you just sound, sound like crazy to people.

It's like- You sound super privileged. Oh, it's so hard having a movie come out. Yeah, it's like chill out, you know what I mean? For real. Yeah, so I've just been trying to like really just when that stuff like sparks up, I am, I do believe in God. So I just try to just have that spiritual conversation

of like, this isn't real. You need to like chill. You need to just embrace what's happening around you. You know, just like talk myself back. It's okay to have blessings, yeah. Yeah, just talk myself back from like the ledge of whatever that is. I was thinking about, I was talking to Charlamagne about like the greatest public speakers ever. about the greatest public speakers ever.

And he brings up Bishop T.D. Jakes and obviously Farrakhan. I was saying Dave Chappelle just has public speaking ability. But I was wondering, can we use religious folks as greatest public speakers because they have the best bars ever? Yeah, I think.

I need to see you talk on real estate or some shit. You can't talk on God because God gave you the most fire things ever to say. But Martin Luther King's a religious person. He's a preacher, but he's a dope public speaker. But he wasn't talking about Christianity. He wasn't,

though. He was talking about ruining white people's lives. Yes. Right? Like, it's ruining everything that we worked so hard for. Right? Ruining everything that you worked so hard for.

That's a dream? No, no. But do you consider actors worse if they have a fire script? If the dialogue is amazing, the writer's genius, does it make the acting worse? Ooh, that's a great point.

So you almost have to treat it like acting, like the skill of delivery. Mm-hmm. Also, there's a speech around. So you almost have to treat it like acting, like the skill of delivery. Also, there's a speech around the sermon. The bars are the greatest bars, but they don't just read those and then get off the stage. They dissect one or two lines and then do the whole sermon around that. And then they also got to make the bars great. It's the way they come into it and come out of it, and it's all the stuff they build around it.

My God is Clinton Miller, and then the preacher is Drake. Man, you got to hit on Drake all the stuff they build around it. God is Quentin Miller, and then the preacher is Drake. Man, you got to hate on Drake all the time. Why are you hating Drake so much? This guy hates Drake. You hate Drake? No, I thought I was complimenting him. I love Drake. I thought I'm complimenting the preacher.

Why would that be a compliment? Because I'm just saying the preacher is great. Hold on, work yourself out of this one. Go, go, go. I just said the preacher deserves credit because you don't just get the bars. You do everything around it. But you are kind of taking a shot at drinking. A small shot.

Not that much. I didn't think it was worth stomping down the pot. Just crediting his whole fucking life. I didn't think it was worth stomping down the pot. You know what I mean? This is a fact we all know, and I'm still making the life out of it. He fell off the balcony of the show. That's why he's pissed.

Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah, he was that's why he's pissed. Don't follow. Yeah, he was that guy. It's all right, Akash. You didn't go to his town and make fun of his baby mama, so I think you'll be good. I think you'll be good, bro. Good point.

Good point. I was the phase I was going through. I was making fun of baby mama's phase in my life, so I figured that out. Phases are the best ever. Phases are crazy though. Because sometimes they just take hold of you. Make you behave in a way you would never behave. A phase will gasp at you.

No, but yeah, I don't know why Akash has this animosity towards Drake. That was an animosity. That was a lighthearted shot. But yours was mean. You do say. Your shot was mean. I hate on Drake, but I understand he's a lot of people's greatest ever and I can't argue with it. Yours was mean. You do say. Your shot was mean. I'm mean. I hate on Drake, but I understand he's a lot of people's greatest ever, and I can't argue with it.

But you don't like him. Objectively, he's great. I'm not a fan. I love Drake. But I give him credit. Objectively, he's great. He just doesn't grab you. Okay, let's have this here right here. Why do you hate Drake?

Because you're talking to someone who loves Drake here. I love Drake. I don't love Drake because I like living vicariously through rappers. And for me, Drake was never somebody that was like, oh, I want to do, like DMX is somebody who's like, I can never live this life in a million lifetimes. You know that you can be like emotionally connected to someone and long for them. Yeah, yeah, I'm therapized. But being DMX. Heartbroken is my year one through 31.

You know what I mean? What? This is not new to me. That DMX is argument. That DMX shit is like, whoa. This guy's talking about shit that I've never been exposed to. I can see a whole new world through this. DMX is like the wire on record for me.

The wire on wax. That's a fine argument. That's my actual feeling. And Drake, I was always like, I just, I don't, yeah. When you say the thug shit, I don't buy it. When you say the heartbroken shit, it's like, buddy, I'll go listen to an R&B album and cry myself to sleep, whatever, however I used to deal with it. It's almost too relatable. Yeah, I, you know. Okay, good point.

Okay, Sam's not buying it. I thought this was a good argument. Sam's not buying it. What? First of all, you haven't been through what Drake, the type of heartbreak Drake is talking about, you haven't experienced. Yeah, you don't know how big of a sucker I am. No, it's not the sucky shit, because he's also talking about being a rich poppin' nigga

and trying to deal with these hoes and with what's going on. Take a look. You haven't been dealing with that from one to whatever years you said? No, absolutely not. I'm wearing sneakers that cost hundreds of dollars. So am I.

But I'm not going to pretend like that. At least three, I don't remember. So when Drake was talking that way, you were wearing sneakers that cost hundreds of dollars. So am I. But I'm not going to pretend like that. At least three. I don't remember. So when Drake was talking that way, you were wearing sneakers that cost hundreds of dollars. No, no, no. That's my point. Yeah, yeah.

So at that point in your life, you don't have Drake experiences at all. But that wasn't romantic to me in the way that like thug shit was romantic. It was like, oh, that's, I'm heartbroken all the time.

That's, whether you're a level of dealing with fame or whatever, these are problems that aren't as like fantastic, I guess, as like fantasy type. Yeah. As like, oh, this motherfucker's in the streets doing dirt. Well, I guess the difference. How do I relate to shit from back then?

I guess the hard line difference is like I'm a real nigga and not a lame. So I already knew them type niggas who do dirt in the streets and live, like, that's not vicarious to me. Agreed. I'm a lame. That's not vicarious. I'm a sober kid. Like, exactly.

Not a lame. I didn't mean like a lame. I'm high. But like, yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't.

That was mean. I think we can agree that. I apologize. That was just a high, I was like, shit. But you know what? I kind of liked it.

So let's like that. You have to own it. The meaner the better. This is kind of fun. Yeah. I let's like that. You have to own it. The meaner, the better. This is kind of fun. I don't like therapy, Sam. Sam should be therapized, bro. Like, suburbs. Suburbs.

Yeah, like a suburban kid. She's so good, she can't even say suburbs. Suburban kid. Like, I grew up around little niggas all the time. Drunk niggas. I know them, and it was whatever. So it didn't seem that vicarious. So that life is too familiar for you? Yeah often. Yeah, I did not. I know them and it was whatever. So it didn't seem that vicarious.

So that life is too familiar for you? Yeah, where Drake, I'm like, this nigga's turnt. Like he just, this is cool. And Drake is a suburb kid

who kind of plays that hood shit and I'm like, well that's a lot of kids I know. You know what I mean? Yeah, so there might just be the closeness

of the... And that doesn't, I'm truly not saying he's not incredibly talented, incredibly smart, incredibly charismatic. But for me it's like, I know less talented, charismatic, smart versions of you already. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because you got 24 hours.

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slash flagrant or pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell now let's get back to the show can we go can we see

show the scene of the movie where you get to see Sam's stroke game oh yeah oh we're judging I knew I knew this

it was gonna come to this one day I was just I was waiting for Twitter to do it but alright we'll do it here okay so there's

there's a bachelor party. We're all part of like a Jonah Hill's friend group, right? And right now, it's not even Vegas. It's like Palm Springs or some shit. Where we shot it, but we're supposed to be in Vegas for the purposes of a movie, I think. The girls are in Vegas. Oh, the girls. The girls are in Palm Springs.

We're in Vegas. Okay, so then we're in the hotel room before we go out partying, and there's just like a montage of us doing drugs and having fun, but there are a couple funny moments with blow-up dolls. Let's just watch it and see what happens. Yeah. Sam, let's just watch it. And I don't know what exactly we can include on YouTube,

so some of this might get cut out or it might get silenced. But you can always go watch the movie. Where, though? Maybe on Netflix. Yeah. You know what I mean? No big deal, but like an absolutely smash fucking hit when it comes to the numbers. This is the craziest cast I've seen in a comedy in years.

Like, the cast is crazy. Lil Duval's in the background of this scene. I mean, just everybody. It's unbelievable. All right, you want to watch it? Yeah. Hold on. Okay, Sam.

So what were you thinking in that? What was the motivation? Like, how do you prepare for a scene like that? I think in every, like, acting experience, there's a moment where your integrity is going to get tested. You know what I mean? Where they're going to be like, hey, do something really silly and uncomfortable.

You got to be like, am I making this movie? Or am I not making this movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I definitely didn't want to do it. I definitely was like, this is stupid, bro. So then it was like a decision had to be made in the moment.

Yeah, yeah. Do I try to stroke for real? That sounds crazy. That sounds crazy. Or do I just make it look crazy? And I was like, and if you notice, I'm kind of at the leg.

I intentionally was not at the pussy. I was like, we not playing that game. Watch the video. She's not fucking the pussy. She's fucking the leg joint. I'm trying to maintain as much of my integrity as I can. Ah, okay.

I'm eating Fox backwards, bro. No, you're eating ass. I was like, oh, boy. That's the worst 69. You eat ass and you just get your dick just headbutted. That's a great way to say you're eating ass, though. I'm eating box backwards. I'm eating box backwards.

Fire. I fell asleep eating box and woke up. Acting choice. No big deal. Oh, wow. That was multiple. You see him in the corner still going for it. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean. Yo, this is what's weird about those scenes is like you're doing a scene. There's no direction. And you're seeing like the other acting folks, like the people who actually know how to act. Going for it. Because they're like, I'm going to get noticed in this scene.

So you're like, okay, how can I be creative in this scene and do something that will stay? But then it does start digging at you. It's like, do I need to be seen in the scene without talking and there's just a doll? And you're there for probably how many hours oh we're there for the whole day

so it's just a whole day to just think about it yeah eight seconds you feel like you don't want to try too hard but also you don't want to

it's not try too hard but it's like bro I don't want to look corny I don't want you're still a comic you're like this is corny bro

I'm about to get here and just fucking plaster dolls with it because that's stupid. Like, we say funny things for a living that are smart. When you phrase it that way,

because when I watch it, I'm like, oh, this looks fun, but I can't even imagine the awkwardness in the room when it's quiet. It's just like, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. The worst is like you're doing this, not even your coverage. The camera ain't even really on you.

It's like kind of on you. Like, do I really need to eat the pussy of a doll? From behind? You just see the back of my head. What am I doing with my life? What I loved about this is you look like you got shoulder pads on. Yeah.

Fucking that foot. There were lines to this. We had some lines. We got the script. We got the script. No, we're not doing that. We got the script. We got the script. No, we're not doing that. Why not?

Because if it was supposed to be in the movie, it would have been in the movie. Wow. I've never seen Andrew not play before. No, no, I played. All right. I was definitely playing. Bro, for real.

I mean, this made it in the movie. What is this? This is a beautiful moment. This is great. I think this is one of the best scenes for the movie, in my opinion. Hold on, this made it in the movie. What is this? This is a beautiful moment. This is great. I think this is one of the best scenes for the movie, in my opinion. Hold on, let me see this up. Yeah.

I stormed the Capitol. Wow. Guys, it's called acting. That was great. What did you think of his decisions there? You're a good actor, so I'm curious, what did you think of what he did?

I thought he pulled it off. I thought for the situation that we were in. For the situation that we were in. She's an amazing actress. That was believable. Hating. That was great.

Objectively great. I love that. And it was all like, he just had to make shit up. It was just very cool that Kenny let you ad-lib and a very smart choice to just play yourself.

I thought that was great. Yeah, I thought that was all great. Also, when you went to January 6th, you were just like method acting, like trying to prepare for the role. I was trying to get up in there, bro. Oh, really? I was trying to get up in there, yeah.

100%. 100%. I was just preparation for the role. I was chasing down Pelosi, bro. Oh, really? Yeah. I was chasing her down. Did you want to do the low part or you want to go?

Hells yeah. Yeah, right? It looks like there's a bunch of white people doing something. Oh, no, not that. Not that part. I wanted to change the course of America. Oh. Just to stop a steal.

Yeah. No, in the same way that I want to go to a Billy Joel concert. I don't listen to Billy Joel, but people geek out over Billy Joel. That's what I'm saying. There's a bunch of white people that gather their hype and they doing something. Yeah. So it's like, some of your whiteness gotta just want to see, like, what they would've done. You're trying to bring me into it.

You're trying to bring me into it on, like, some white shit. Would you observe it? Would you go with binoculars just to see? I didn't care, because I was just like, there's these white people over there acting wild. I didn't care. Oh, I thought it was crazy. I mean, I thought it was crazy,

but I didn't care about going or what. I didn't care. If a bunch of black people were like, I was like, I want to see what these things are doing. You know what I'm saying? To be honest with you, if a bunch of black people did it, I would be as far from that place.

Yeah, I know. I agree. I agree. Because if it's white people and I'm there, I might be like, let's go see what's going on. We're going to live. If it's a black people did it, I would be as far from that place. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Because if it's white people and I'm there, I might be like, let's go see what's going on. We're going to live. If it's black people storming the Capitol, I'm like, I want to live, so I'm not going to go and hear this.

I'm not saying specifically, I'm just saying a gathering of my kind in a mass of any, I would be like a little bit interested in Oh, what's that? This is the interesting thing about whiteness, is that there's so many white people. You guys think we all identify as white.

Who's you guys? Black people. You people. Because I think this often happens, and it's unfair to black people, but you guys have this monolithic judgment, right? It's like there is one way to be black, there's one opinion set for being black, and if you divert from that opinion, you probably had shit with this before, where it's like you're being Sam Jay, not black person that's also Sam Jay. And that can be, like, frustrating. Whereas, like, white people, when you're the majority or whatever, it's like we chop ourselves up into these little groups.

So the white people that obviously don't care to go do that are like, oh, yeah, those are those types of white people. But we don't go, oh yeah, that's our group that does it. I go same. Does that make sense? It's just separate from it. You don't even feel a relation because when white is like normalcy, if you will, you have to subdivide. I go same.

You know what I mean? So I think that like, yeah, I remember seeing, just thought it was like, I'll be honest, I want to see fucking, I want to go to them Trump rallies. I did, like, I just, I need, like, these people are going crazy for this guy. Crazy. And I just want to see the energy, like, I've been trying to talk to fucking

Dr. Umar for, I mean, we talked about this, but like, she was Dr. Umar for Halloween. That's a good gossip. Like, she was up on it early. I love Dr. Um but like this guy's this guy's a communication

genius and I'm like how do I I just want to talk to him I want to go to one of his like I just need to be in the environment and like experience it

so yeah that's what it comes down for me I mean it helps that I agreed with what they did but in terms of like experience I got to feel it I got to be in the room for it

alright the school is opening up did you hear that say that he set a date for the school to finally open up But in terms of experience, I got to feel it. I got to be in the room for it. All right. The school is opening up. Did you hear that? Say that? He set a date for the school to finally open up. It's opening up this year. That's what I'm talking about. Oh, really?

That's what I'm talking about. We haven't even seen any, like, anything. I mean, it's going to open. I hope so. Donation's hitting, bro. I hope so. I want him on the pod so bad. Have you met him?

No. I would love to meet him, but I don't think he would approve of me. Why? Why? Gay. Is that a thing? I'm breaking the number one hotel rule. Wait, what is the number?

It's sexuality. That's a big deal. That's right. That's right. That's right. He would tell me I'm confused and lost. Would you be like, that too? And I need a black man.

Oh, damn. Yeah. And you've dated dudes before. Is it harder to get a dude or a girl? It's not hard to get dudes. Yeah, that's kind of what I figured. It's not. Everyone knows that.

Yeah, except dudes. Yeah. Oh, yeah oh yeah no it's not hard to get dudes i mean like down levels dudes in the track like we can get into that that's that but just like getting dick isn't hard to do yeah what do you think about like when you see i don't even know if you're like on youtube or that kind of shit but when you see like what's happening with in like the manosphere these like tates and you see, like, what's happening in, like, the manosphere, these, like, tates, and you see a lot of dudes, like, just frustrated with women, is there a part of you

that, like, relates to it? Like, do you hear what they're saying? You're like, yeah. I don't know anything about, as you said, I was saying that out there. I was like,

I'm just not aware. I just feel like Greta Thunberg went to jail and he's, like, a masochist from what I understand. A misogynist. Oh, okay. I thought he was doing masochist stuff, too. I don't know. Yeah, and he's like a masochist from what I understand. A misogynist. Oh, okay.

I thought he was doing masochist stuff too. I don't know. Yeah, he was like slapping that girl around for the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. But I don't have like a real clear understanding of what it all is. Right. But there seems to be like this like frustration in dating for men lately. And I'm just curious like if, if you've felt it ever,

like dating women. 100%. Like... It sucks. Why? Because women are like... Women are just... I think each group...

This is actually going to all be in my special. This is very funny that we're talking about this. This is the crux of what I'm talking about. But I just think it's a perspective thing and you don't really get the other side if you don't have to experience the other side. So when I was dating then, I just truly didn't understand how awful I was being until I became a man. And then I was like, oh, I was making so many things crazy for no fucking reason. For example. Whoa.

And it was like, but it's also like a confidence thing too, right? It's the way women are positioned in society that causes a lot of these issues because women, we are taught to attach ourselves to men and that's where our value comes from. Now, you can talk a lot. You should, oh no, that's not the case.

But at its core, it is the case. It is the case. And so, so much of you is reflected in the guy in the guy and he has so much power he has so much power to determine you lose all your status if you guys determine your existence in a way and so you you feel so i didn't realize how powerless i was actually feeling in that position. And you were probably acting out because you felt powerless. Right. And yes.

And being smothering and being all these things because your definition is so in relation to him. So if you leave me, I lose everything. So I gotta be on your ass so I don't lose everything. Yes. And that's why you said shit. Fuck that shit, Pete!

Fuck that shit! Sam's a new Andrew Tate. No, I'm saying. Okay, listen, listen. This makes so much sense. Because you've been to the other side, you know what I mean? You're like Blade.

Yeah. The gay walker? Without the blade. Yeah, gay walker, it's funny. Che called me that. Really, really? Oh, that's funny. That's so funny. Really? Really? Oh, that's funny. That's so funny.

Okay, okay, okay. So this is all. Okay, so the jealousy, the smothering often comes from this idea that their identity is wrapped into who the guy is. Yeah. And maybe women don't even understand that. No, they don't because it's just a natural thing, right? Yeah.

Go like this right here. You got something on your nose. Oh. Like when I had a boyfriend, I was going to, I was doing my thing. I was going to school and he was in college. But I felt such a need to like support him and make sure like his thing was good. Because it was like, as long as his thing's good, then our thing's good. And then thus my thing's good, right?

But in that, you lose your own self-identity and your own, like your own fight for your own life and autonomy, right? And then it wasn't until I became like a masculine of center lesbian that's out here dating women because now everything changes, right? Now there's different things I need to attract women, right? Like as a woman to attract a man, all I got to do is show up.

I just got to show up and not be the ugliest bitch in the room and like something will come my way. But once you're in a masculine position, it's like, you have all these requirements. You have to be able to protect somebody. You have to be able to provide for somebody. So by nature, you're going to be ambitious

because getting the things is what gets you the pussy. The other way, it doesn't work that way. You don't need women to have shit to be with them. A bitch could be sleeping on another bitch's couch. You'll still fuck her and if you love her, you'll just bring her into your home.

But bitches ain't out here picking up homeless niggas. It don't go that way. So that change is just, you get what I'm saying? A hundred percent. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's almost like,

whoa. No, but it's like, these reactions over here. That is real. No, you're great. but it's like, whoa. These reactions over here. That is real. That is real. No, no, no. No, you're great.

And I, if you haven't seen Sam's stand up, it's amazing. I've said this to you before, I'll say it, and she is female Patrice to me. And if you know how much we love Patrice, that's lofty, lofty praise.

100%. But I've said that to you. I think you're fucking great. When you were dating dudes, were you more femme or like, would he come home and you just dap him up? No, I mean,

I was, I didn't really have a sense of my masculine identity. I've always been some level of this. But it was definitely way more feminine. Definitely way more feminine. Now, what you were saying before, in terms of incentive for success, you were like, dudes are incentivized to succeed and be ambitious because that's how you get the girl.

So as a girl, my mom was very successful. You know what I mean? Like is that more unique that you find a woman that is incentivized for success that has nothing to do without attaining the dude? See, of course, there's always going to be nuance to this, right? There's always, nothing is sweeping, nothing. But I think it's also, right, a little bit of it is class too. Because a certain class level, you need to, as a woman,

you're trying to attract a certain type of man at a certain level, right? So it's like, oh, I need to go get these things because it allows this type of stuff. If I'm not this, then I can't date the guy who went to Ivy League or something like that. Also, there might be another little bit of nuance where it's like if you are incredibly passionate about a thing, that passion drives you and then success comes with the passion. Yes. Where it's not, you're not going,

I just need status. You just love my mom dance or whatever, but you just love a specific thing. Yes. So have you felt... Yes, to the passion of it. And that's the main thing, right? The main thing, too, yes. So have you felt... Yes, yes to the passion of it. 100%. And that's the main thing, right? Like, the main thing, too,

is, like, a lot of times, I think I find, I've always found, like, it's like, when you're in a masculine, you have to identify all this stuff kind of earlier because you need it to do shit.

Like, you gotta... You're saying in your position. Yeah, like you gotta, because you can't like- You have to learn a new identity almost. Yeah, and you can't like, you can't. I had to, yeah, because it's like I'm used to going out

and niggas buy me drinks. I'm used to, I could go out with no money, really, and still have a night. And then I'm out here at Masculine and like bitches are like, what's up? And I'm like, damn, I'm used to, I could go out with no money, really. And still have a night. And then I'm out here at Masculine and like, bitches are like, what's up? And I'm like, damn, I'm broke. So now, my mind is like, yo, I can't be a broke nigga. I gotta figure out what I'm gonna do with my life.

Yo, there's no such thing as a broke girl. I'm gonna get fucked up. Like, I'm not gonna be able to get bitches. I'm not gonna be able to have, now I'm competing. to be able to get bitches. I'm not going to be able to have, now I'm competing. Now I'm in a race. I'm watching other niggas play.

They're getting more. They're getting, their women are more attracted to them. So it's like, oh, okay. I got to be able to play this game. Wow. I'm curious. So knowing that,

knowing that girls attach their identity to the guy that they're with, what can guys do to empower them so they're not as insecure? I think it's about, like, understanding. Like Like I talked to my homeboys about a lot of like, each position has its power and you have to be respectful of that power. And instead of being like, oh, like, bitch, you are annoying. It's like, you have to like, in some ways, reinforce for her why that isn't necessary.

Can you give an example? If she's feeling confident enough in her position. By reinforcing her position so that she doesn't feel like, I used to get frustrated with my girl, like, blah, blah, blah. But now, like, I make sure just consciously to text her three or four times a day. Like, I put a number on it. At least three or four times a day. I'm just like, hey I put a number on it. At least three or four times a day. I'm just like, hey. Hey, I'm still here.

How are you? We're good. I'm still here. I'm thinking about you. We're cool. Yeah. I used to think that was so, like, annoying. Like, why do you need that?

Yeah. But when you really think about it, like, she's not, and I'm not saying this is everyone's position, but, like, when you know, especially that is your woman's position, you have to understand that. Because, like, she's not working. She's chilling at the crib. She knows I'm all over the place doing all types of shit. You're doing the cool shit.

She's not. That's going to make her feel insecure. Right. And it's like, if you love someone, there's just a responsibility that you have to, like, taking care of them. And especially if you're coming from that masculine space and you know these things are going on. So that's the mature way of looking at it. I think a lot of times people go like, I'm not going to move my position at all because I'm the masculine one. I'm the leader.

I got to do whatever I have to do. But the reality is giving a safe amount of security. Now, some people are irrational and they're in security and there's no way that you can satisfy it. But making someone feel secure in their position is part of your job

to have the best relationship with that person. That is the leadership. It's like... Yes, that's the leadership. That's, right? Like, that's what I'm saying like in this last year,

year and a half, where I'm like, I'm really like, I had to grow into that person. Like, that's maturity. You come to that level of maturity, like, oh, that is the leadership. And then, in that, it'll allow her to kind of springboard off

of that energy. You get the best version of her. And then I get the best version of her rather than if I just basically by my behavior feed all those insecurities. Right, because the more that she's grabbing for attention, you're pushing her away, which just makes her want even more attention. I just do it, even though I'm like,

I don't always get why you need this, but it's fine. That's a certain level of confidence also there, because if you're an insecure dude or masculine, you're not going to want to move at all for your partner because you don't have the confidence to what could be perceived as like submit to some demands.

But the reality is you're just filling them with confidence. That's interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like some, you got to find out what your partner needs in order to operate at their best. Yes. So that you guys can work. Yes. And what would you tell your homegirls that your man needs?

Or their man needs? Like... Just shut up. I realize, like, at least in my own relationship, I... It's appreciation for how hard it is to be the provider.

To do it all. Yeah, yeah, yeah the provider. To do it all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To keep it all going and the pressure, the pressure. Like, I'm like giving you my hour right now. I didn't realize until I became a man how much pressure it is. You're just under, and men don't really get to discuss it

because there is no space. If they talk about it, it's like, well, what are you complaining about? Or like, what's the big deal? Even when I do this as like a set, like a stand-up thing on stage, there's always women in the audience like, so what? Until I really get into it because I can come to it also from a feminine standpoint.

Also, they gotta listen to you. And then they're like, oh shit, because I can come to it also from a feminine standpoint. Also, they got to listen to you. And then they're like, oh, shit, I've never thought about it. But it's like the pressure to perform, to succeed, to maintain is like fucking incredibly high. And especially if you're successful, because women don't want to be downgraded. I can't. No. I can't. I have to keep it here.

If it goes any lower than here, I'm a fucking failure. She will look at me like I'm a fucking failure. And that is a fact. I failed. So I have to at least stay at what I built. And the pressure of that is insane. It's like, that's why sometimes you see like a dude and he's just, he's like with a dusty bitch

that wears Crocs and there's all these bitches like, why is he with that dusty bitch? Because he can maintain that. He can maintain Crocs. He can maintain Croc bitch. He can get her as much Crocs

as he need to get her. He can handle whatever this is because once you go there, you got to stay there. And that's a daily pressure on top of you have to fucking protect. And that's a daily pressure. On top of, you have to fucking protect this person. Like, on top of, like, their

life, all this shit is on you. And they get to just walk around. You know what I mean? And it's like, bro, like, every once in a while, just say, like, thank you. I need more than every once in a while. So real.

That is so real. That is a lot, dude. It is true. I need it every day. Affirmation. Yeah, and it's like I think a lot of men need that. They don't know how to ask for it. We don't know how to ask for it because we think it's weak to ask for it. But the reality is like in the same way that they need

that security that we're thinking about them, that provides them the confidence to know that hey, we're together and you're not going anywhere. Everything's good. Yeah way that they need that security that we're thinking about them, that provides them the confidence to know that, hey, we're together and you're not going anywhere. Everything's good. Yeah, we might need that appreciation

to make us feel like all these things that we're working for is worth it. Exactly. And I shouldn't cheat on you. All you got to do is say thank you

and you don't get cheated on. I mean, for real. Like, no bullshit. It's like, if you're not getting that say thank you, you don't get cheated on. I mean, for real. Like, when you, like, no bullshit. It's like, if you're not getting that filled up the way you need. You're going to try to fill it up somewhere else. You're going to try to go somewhere else

where you're getting affirmed. Exactly. And it's usually a new girl who's just trying to be on your dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's feeding the hole that's there. She's just feeding the ego. It ain't even about sex at that point.

Yeah. That's where I'm at with my fiance. when I tell my, like, that's where I met with my fiance, and I was like, yo, I need you to do that. Because it needs to get done. I will turn back into a relationship, but you also have to. You know what I'm saying? So, like, I, like, I take all my sexual

energy, I turn it into my relationship. Like, I'm back to dirty texting my girl constantly. Like, I was like, whatever this is, I'm gonna turn this back into you. But in that, I need back to dirty texting my girl constantly. Like, I'm just like, whatever this is, I'm going to turn this back into you. But in that, I need you to tell me I'm the motherfucking shit and I'm the motherfucking man and I'm doing this shit

on a level that's damn near impossible and you're grateful for it. I need to feel that as well. Talk that shit. At least that's special. For that equality that actually, because that's what it is like equality isn't

oh they get the same money we both take care of that's all some stupid bullshit both of us feeling full in the relationship yes it's like all that

stiff is goofy it's both of us feeling full like you say like that's the true equality that's what we want the word is arbitrary right you could call it equality

you could call it respect whatever the fuck it is but if both of us feel like we're fulfilled in a relationship that's where we're going to act our best. Yeah. I'm curious, what do you think of this term toxic masculinity? I mean, I get it.

I get it because it is, there is things that you learn through masculinity that may not necessarily serve what is today. through masculinity that may not necessarily serve what is today. But I think it's one-sided because there's also toxic femininity, and that doesn't get discussed. Whereas there's things that you're learning, both things are not serving. What's an example of toxic femininity? Like you're in the kitchen too much. It's like, bro, get out of there. Like even when I do some mission on stage, it's like, yeah, I'm independent.

I'm this, I'm that. But, yeah, he's supposed to pay the bills. Right. He's supposed to do that. He has to be able to. And like I said, the pressure to have to be able to do that. Like, to take full responsibility for another grown-up is a lot. Yeah. It's a lot.up. It's a lot. It's a lot.

It's a lot. And so this idea that just because someone is a man, they are to be capable to do that. And thus, I shouldn't have to really do anything to help that. And if I do have to do stuff to help that, then you're a bitch and there's a problem there. And it's like, well, that is not actually how a partnership works, and partnerships could

be stronger and better if you come in like, no, I am gonna help match that, and I am gonna do whatever, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, like with more honest dialogue, well, a lot of people don't even know what they really want, that's the tricky thing, but if people are able to communicate

what they actually want out of a relationship, then both parties would be happier because it's very little that you actually have to do. Like the gratitude that you were talking about, like a dude just being like, listen, I'm working hard to maintain all this. And I like doing it. Don't get me wrong. Like I'm, I'm doing what I love or I'm, I'm, I like being a provider. Like that is part of my fucking identity. That's fire. But that little acknowledgement that you know that I'm fucking holding it down, just that tip of the hat, like, yo, I'm with a guy who holds it down.

And not like, that's what you're supposed to be doing, so why do you want... Don't tell me what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm doing this shit for you because I care. The opposite happens once kids get introduced, is that the girl will take care of the kids all day and the guy's never like,

hey, thank you so much for taking care of our baby. It'll just be like, yeah, that's what you're supposed to do. You take care of the kids all day and the guy's never like hey thank you so much for taking care of our baby and just be like yeah that's what you're supposed to do you take care of the kids yeah and then she's like i've been working all day and all we gotta do is be like yo we're i'm so lucky yeah thank you for taking care of my kids handling it and it's like that's the maturity like now like i thank my girl for like making us such a lovely home yeah i'm paying for it but without her her, it would be a shithole. And it wouldn't fill me up. And I wouldn't walk through my door and go, oh, this is a sanctuary where I get to think and be.

I would just be on a leather couch like a loser. You know what I mean? How'd you get to this place? I just grew up. Oh, really? Yeah, I just grew up. It's just life and growing up

and really analyzing what the fuck was happening, especially that last time that I cheated. It exploded my whole life. We were in couples therapy together, and I just had to do some real thinking about what the fuck I'm doing and why I'm doing it and what I want

and what am I getting out of this relationship? What is it doing for me? And how do I nurture that? And, you know, just, yeah. You've also probably had to reflect on these roles more than the average person, being that you came from the opposite. Yeah.

So it's like you know what that person craves, and now you're learning how to satisfy what that person also craves. So it's like a really unique experience. Yeah. You're the perfect person to talk about. Do you ever miss the old role? Are you ever in protector masculine mode?

I don't want to give up your joke with that joke about the suitcases. Yeah. Oh, that's an old one. That shit. I mean, I don't want to make you tell your joke, but they were traveling. Don't do this. It's so funny, though. Don't do this.

It's so good. All right, go watch it. The special's on Netflix. It's so funny though. Don't do this. It's so good. All right, go watch it. The special's on Netflix. It's on Netflix. But it was just a perfect example of like, yeah, you're going to be in this masculine role, but there's still some shit that you don't want to do. Like, you don't have to take this girl's suitcases.

You know what I mean? But it is true. That's going to present itself. We're going to want our creature comforts, if you will. Yes, for sure. Yeah, for sure. And there definitely is things I miss. You want to go out and get a free drink every once in a while.

There's things I miss. And also just the fucking, like, the ability to just not have to do nothing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, yo, is the rent going to get paid? I don't have to think about it. Yeah, what you do is gravy. Ain't that nice?

What you do is a bonus. Do you think y'all are going to have kids? She goes back and forth, but I don't think so. No? What do you want? I don't care. Interesting. Not at all?

If she really wanted to, I'd be like, all right. Well, it's not going to happen on accident. Yeah, it's such an intentional thing. One of y'all has to care about it. It's an intentional thing. So, I mean, if she really wanted to, I would be like, all right, let's do it. Is there a party that wants that parental experience? Not really.

I'm chilling. If you did, do you think you'd rather have a son or a daughter? A son. Wait, why a son? I feel that for me. This is easier. Yeah. Yeah, it makes sense.

In so many ways, it's just easier. If you had to, do you think you would adopt or would you try to get like a donor? I think we definitely would do a donor. Yeah. Would you, Carrie? I was talking about this. She got to make money, yo. Yeah.

Maternity leave in comedy is not great. I got to make money, yo. Yeah, no, I wouldn't want to, you know what I mean? But if she wanted a kid really bad and she couldn't. You would hold it down. And I could, I would. Because you provide. Yeah.

That's true. That's how much of a provider I am. That's true. I would get pregnant with my bitch. Bro, that would be interesting trying to pick the sperm. No one ever talks about that.

You got to go through a whole file and pick sperm from like headshots. That's right. You're like a casting director and you got to be like, all right, yeah.

Or you ask a friend. You just get a friend if they want to throw down. That gets crazy. That's crazy. That gets personal, bro. That's toxic femininity is the value that women put and were taught to put in that position on our vaginas and our sex. If we're good at it, do we have good— I feel like women put that it's like that's

why you have to act like they pussy bomb like for real like and you can't and that's also why like they can't handle like sexual rejection that which men don't get to talk about a lot like if you reject a woman's like like if you get to the point where it's like okay it's fucking time and you're like oh actually i don't want to do it, meltdown. Falls apart. Yeah, yeah. Falls apart. An absolute, like, what, because their whole, like, buildup is in, like, I have this, and you're supposed to always want this no matter what.

Because that's my power. Yeah, that's my worth. And if you say no, then you're saying something is intrinsically wrong with me. And I can't handle that. I had a friend of mine, I'm not going to say his name, but like the first time he was with a girl who ended up like you, dating, that was his girlfriend for a while. He was like real drunk and he couldn't get it up, right?

And he came to me and he's like, bro, I'm so embarrassed. She's going to fucking hate me, whatever. And I was like, buddy, she is having a way worse time right now than you. She will not stop liking you because of this. She's probably going to fucking hate me, whatever. And I was like, buddy, she is having a way worse time right now than you. She will not stop liking you because of this. She's probably going to want to win you over even more because her identity is crushed that a guy wouldn't get up with her. Yeah, and it's something that motherfuckers don't be talking about. But yes, it is a thing.

Bro, that's a good hack. Oh, yeah. You've got to sell supplements. Stay soft. Sell supplements that don't make you hard. That's fire, actually. No boulders are possible. Available at Hustlers University right now.

And just be like, oops, can't get it up. Try again next time. Oh, damn, bro. That's a good idea. We'll be breaking hearts, man. Yo, write that down. Yeah, that is a fucked up. Yeah, when you wrap so much of your identity in it,

it's not like a choice that they do. Yeah, but that's also why cheating is so hard for them. They're like, oh, is mine not good enough? So they can't even see that. Like, yo, maybe there's something emotionally not happening here that I need. Maybe it's past that and it's something else going on and I'm out here because of that reason and I'm allowing this energy to come to me

because of that reason. And it has nothing to do with like your vagina not being good enough or me not wanting it. It's that's. Yeah. Most people aren't making it to the emotional reasons for this. And it's like, yeah, it's, yo, that's the weirdest thing because dudes are so, when it comes to sex, it's just, we can be so callous, right? Could just be like, yo, that's it. Like, let's have sex. It means nothing, whatever. But cheating is emotional.

Like, just fucking when you're single is fucking. That's meat market. Guys think it's not, though. They don't think it is. No, cheating is not emotional. So it's like, really, if if you cheat that's the softest thing cheating is soft i've heard someone say is that when you cheat you're not looking for a new person you're looking for like a new version of yourself where you're like you're that old version

that you felt with her right exactly yeah i want it i don't look i want a different person i want a different version of me and this person makes me feel like a different version of me like i'm the king makes it and it's so weird because you hear this advice oftentimes of women, like, you've got to make him feel like the king, blah, blah, blah. And it's like just using the term king I think might turn off a lot of women, right? Because they go, oh, well, why do I have to make him think he rules, he's in charge, whatever. It's like, no, it's not about that. It's about— Affirming.

Exactly. It's the security that you need. Yes, to keep going out here and doing this. going out here and doing this. And that's the thing I think that like, a lot of times like women don't get maybe enough credit for in relationships is like the emotional stability. I know we talk about how like

irrational women are in relationships, but that's the emotional stability. Their understanding what is making this person, the male relationship is feel, feel like, feel strong, feel confident, making, understanding how far her behavior can push and pull. And it's something like I've noticed in my wife and I had that like, that moment where you said about, you know, your wife creating the home. I had that shit even like last night with my wife.

Like there was an opportunity for her to completely justifiably like give me back some shit about something. Like I have fucked up. And she chose to go about it a different way. And I was, like, overwhelmed with this thing. I was like, oh, wow, you're maintaining this. You're fucking maintaining the ecosystem, yo. And that's also a job. That shit is.

It's a job. An important one. And if that isn't happening, it's just beef. Yes, and the whole thing can get crazy. And it's necessary. Like both things are very necessary and both things need to be affirmed. So then how do we have conversations like we're having now about that with people that aren't only with a therapist? Because I feel like the average person, the average like younger man or woman is not having a discussion like this.

They're not talking about like what they need almost like emotionally or biologically in a relationship. They're watching rom-coms and going, well, that's what happened. I think it's tough for dudes,

especially if they're younger, to even say I need anything. Fuck you need, bro. What the fuck do you need? Go get it. You need something. Go get it. Yes, go get it.

Yeah. Exactly. You need something, go buy it. But essentially, right, that's what you do when you cheat. You're like, I'm not turning into the relationship. I'm going to go get it. I'm not going to tell her.

I'm not going to be out here like, why won't you pay attention to me? I'm not doing that. I'm turning outward. I'm going to be self-reliant. I'm going to go get what I need. Yeah. And that's toxic masculinity. Yes.

That's that masculine urge to go get shit. For me, the hardest thing. Shit. Yes. For me, the hardest thing. Rather than be vulnerable, turn into the relationship, which I do now, and go, hey, I'm not being fulfilled emotionally in this position right now. And I need that from you. Because when you don't give me that, I'm hurt.

And then I go out here and I don't feel good about myself. Yeah. That shit is scary to do, bro. It's so much easier. And it's what we do. And dudes, I know chicks probably do it too. But it's like, this is what you're doing wrong. We lead with, you're doing this wrong.

And that's why I feel this way. Instead of leading with, hey, I feel unfulfilled. Or I feel not cared about. It might not be your fault. But that's why I feel this way instead of leading with hey I feel unfulfilled or I feel like not cared about whatever it might not be your fault but that's how I'm feeling can you help me

and just starting with that vulnerability I know for a fact especially like women who are way more understanding with that shit they're not going oh fix it pussy

they're going oh fuck man damn I think it's so much has been so much like scarier for her that I'm doing this now. Because she's like, oh, now I got to step up.

I got to step up too. Yeah, it's like, no, now it's like, whoa, okay. So emotionally, like you're like, because most of the time she was just thinking physically. And it's like, oh, no, no, no, baby. No, it goes beyond that. Yeah. And I think all men are deeper than that. Yeah.

And it's toxic on both sides when it's not thought to be that way. And it's like, no, it goes way deeper than that. It's not about I just wanted new pussy. It was about I wasn't being made to feel good here. Yeah.

And it's scary to admit, for me, the hardest thing about saying what I need is I might not get it, which sounds so logical. But if it's so hard for me to say what I need and then it's not met it's like bro i don't matter at all you know how fucking hard this was for me to say this and then you said no a little hack i think but it is like this thing where like if you're gonna do this everybody's

gonna have to take some emotional risk yeah yeah and you gotta be okay with it no that's just what it is you know what i mean like it's not gonna work without that yeah yeah and it's now you're not always gonna get exactly what you want you're not and sometimes you're gonna get let down also if you're with a good woman and you bring up a shortcoming that you have she's gonna be like oh i completely understand i failed in providing for you emotionally let me fix it i've never brought up something to my girl she was like no i'm not gonna do that but i think though if you say like i'm feeling unfulfilled that might they might get insecure and read that as failure but if you you say, I'm feeling insecure about this, then they look at you and they say, oh, he's feeling insecure about this. And if they love you, I want to feel that insecurity.

Whereas if you say, hey, I'm feeling unfulfilled, they can hear you. But that scared part of them that feels like they're not good enough is, like, unfulfilled because I'm not good enough. Fuck you. Fuck you, you're not fulfilled. That's on you. And it's like, yeah, and I'm just like, I've really just started being real about that. Like, even when big shifts come, like this movie or whatever,

like, my girl would just be like, how are you feeling? I'd be like, scared, if I feel scared. Yep, yep. I'm like, I'm freaked out. I don't know what this is going to be like. I'm feeling a little uncertain about myself right now. Like, whatever it is,

I'm just trying to be, like, honest. You know what I mean? Like, hey, that's where I'm at. You know what's funny is, like, on stage, saying the thing that you feel in the moment, like the honest, true thing you feel in the moment always resonates.

Like it may not always be a laugh, but it's always, there's interest and reaction. And in life, that is harder. But for some reason on stage, just being like, just literally somebody saying something, be like, that was louder than I thought

that was going to be. It's like this pure, organic reaction, and the crowd recognizes it. It's crazy we can't just take that and do it to the people that we... It's probably funnier because people don't do it in life,

so you're like shocked by it. Like, God damn. You're like, whoa. I guess that's why it's funny because it's novel. Because it is novel. And you're like shocked by it. Like, God damn. You're like, whoa. Yeah. I guess that's why it's funny because it's novel. Because it is novel. And then there's like this new level too

of like you have to then fucking, once you're in that space of it, it's also like you got to respect where she is. What do you mean by that? Because she might not be where you are. Just because now I'm like

locked in in this way. She went through all... Yeah, she's not, she might not be as emotionally secure. Like, just because I'm just because now I'm, like, locked in in this way. She went through... Oh, yeah, she's not she might not be as emotionally secure or even ready to share like that. So you got to create a different expectation for her. Yes. You can't just... And you have to recognize... It's like talking emotionally with, like,

your grandpa or some shit. A motherfucker's working on it because, like, I look at it like, yo, I cheated. So I also threw a thing in our situation I did she's gonna have distrust so she's gonna have distrust she's gonna have this type of thing so sometimes she'll like spiral and like she'll accuse me of cheating and I know I'm not and I'll be like no I'm exactly where I told you I was and I used to get angry and be like what the fuck's wrong but now I'm just like hey I'm sorry that I entered that into our relationship I know that I

did something wrong but I'm not cheating I love you and this is where I'm just like, hey, I'm sorry that I entered that into our relationship. I know that I did something wrong, but I'm not cheating. I love you. And this is where I'm at. And this is where I'm going. And I'll text you when I get there. And I just have to do like the extra shit to like make her feel safe. Yeah. Yeah.

Even if it feels fucking annoying. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think that toxic masculinity thing is always creating instability. So you feel like you have some power, but that's just fucking unrest all the time. I want peace. And if you feel

secure, the whole thing is peaceful because your peace dictates our peace a lot of the time. Even when, like, she was absolutely losing her mind a few days, like, literally like, you are cheating, I don't care. And I was just like, hey baby, no I'm not. And now I'm on my way to Ludlow House. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just... Like, I'm not and now I'm on my way to Ludlow House you know what I mean like I'm just

like I'm not even gonna like you can't you know what I mean you just gotta like and that's also a part of the leadership but that's also crazy

because you can't even take your phone out there it's like it's the perfect place to go to I'm going to the one place where I just can't look at my phone

you can't take a photo out of the phone nah you can't take pictures and stuff like that. Oh, yeah. But it's like, you know, but to what you said before, that's also a part

of the leadership and the masculinity. Like, leadership is like, okay, I'm not going to jump down this rabbit hole with you and start screaming at you. And just, I get why you're where you are.

I'm going to be steadfast in where I am and give you some time to come over. Yeah, that's it. Sam, whether you like it or not, you're where you are. I'm going to be steadfast in where I am and give you some time to come over. Yeah, that's it. Sam, whether you like it or not, you're my new therapist. Straight up. This is great. Yeah, because you understand the irrationality.

My only hope is watching a movie and then the girl character does something stupid. Those are the best. And then my girl's like, oh my gosh, this girl is so annoying. She's being so irrational. Why would you say that? Yeah, and I'm like, oh, that gosh, this girl is so annoying. Like, she's being so irrational. Why would you say that? Yeah, and I'm like, oh, that's interesting. What is it about her behavior? And I got to use the movie as a conduit to be like, that's what you fucking do.

It's so annoying. I'm just going to call you up. You put on her special. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to put on a special. I'm going to be irrational for sure. And it's like, I have, I'm like, and I've been, it's also too, like, I've been super honest. Like, I'll be like, hey.

And I've been, it's also too, like I've been super honest. Like I'll be like, hey. Like when she started doing all this a couple days ago, I said, the movie came out and you're feeling insecure. And I understand that. Like a lot is changing. A lot is swirling. And I think what you're doing is you're projecting some of this onto me. And she was like, no.

But I know she heard me. You know what I mean? I know even if she couldn like, no. But I know she heard me. You know what I mean? I know even if she couldn't give me. And that's the thing, too. You've got to give people time to react. It's like you can't expect for you to say it, and then they just go, it is wrong. Oh, you are right. They're going to give you all the pushback,

say you're an asshole, everything. They're going to bang around in their head a little bit. I've had to get better at that. I used to just be like, yo, I explained this so logically, you should get it now. Yeah. But the logic doesn't get over the frustration

and anger they're feeling in that moment. So you got to let that come down. It took like a day. Yeah. And then the next day we like sat and I was like, okay, so like, are you ready to talk about what happened? And reasonable for her to feel insecure.

Like you're starting a fucking movie with Eddie Murphy. You're at the cellar holding hands, another bitch coming up to you. You're humping mannequins all the time. You know what I mean? Like, I get it. Stroke game crazy. DMs looking packed.

Like, it's nuts. Like, you know what I mean? No, it is. It's not unreasonable. It's just like being, like, real about all that shit. That just has been better. That's even one of those things where it's like, now that you know when these big

moments are happening, you almost need to hit it up first. You know what I mean? You're talking to her first. You're a preemptive strike. You're going, hey, listen, thank you. It's awesome to be here and share these things with you and like, these things can't happen. So now she's full of confidence. So when that insecurity comes, she's like, okay, no, no, no, we're good.

Yes, yes. We're good. Yeah, yeah. I need to write what I just said down. Yeah. You got to strike first. You got to strike first, basically. It's just the truth is, like, our parents

always try to tell us, like, it's just work. Yeah. Relationships are fucking work. I didn't understand when people were like, it's just communication, and now I get so much

what they mean when 90% of a relationship is communication. Yeah, and it's like, you can't just expect it to do it. Yeah. That's what people want. Yeah, and it's like you can't just expect it to do it. Yeah. That's what people want.

Like, if it's real love, then it should just always be cool and it'll always just work. Yeah. And that's how real love works. I don't. You should just know.

You don't. And it's like, no, man. It's like, no, this is actually a thing you have to care about and tend to and work at and work on. And it's still hard sometimes.

And it just is that. And there's no way around that. Yeah, the work part is like when you feel an argument happening and you're like okay we're in a maze going down the wrong way

okay how do we like back up super slowly to not go farther down you know what I mean and that's work you gotta be like okay fuck what did I say how did she hear it

how do I reverse this without pissing everyone off I think I've said this on here before but like what I would just do is when I felt we were going down the maze

I would just go I'd say the worst possible thing is oh so you want to ruin the night? Oh, yes. Yeah. Why would that work? You blow up the maze. Why would that work?

You want to ruin the night? We've all done it. We've all done it. What is she supposed to go, oh, no, let's fix this? That's a great point. I am trying to ruin it. I'm ruining it. Yeah, like, no, she's having a feel.

And we've all done it. I definitely have done it. Yo. I've done it like another night. And we've all done it. I definitely have done it. Yo. Like, another night, and you're just going. Bring up the other night. Be like, oh, you're doing that tonight. Yeah. Are there any gender roles you refuse to do?

Like, do you have to drive every time you get in the car? No, because I don't drive at all. I always just get Uber. Okay, that's smart. That's smart. But you don't let her drive? No, I've don't drive at all. I always just get Uber. Okay, that's smart. That's smart. But you don't let her drive? No, I've never seen her drive. Ever.

And I know her personality. I don't think she would be good at it. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because we have to talk about mud water. Look, I love coffee. I love the ritual of it. I love the caffeine hit. I love all of that.

But you can't do it all the time. You can't do it every day. And that's when you need mud water. Look, I love coffee. I love the ritual of it. I love the caffeine hit. I love all of that, but you can't do it all the time. You can't do it every day. And that's when you need mud water. It is a coffee alternative with adaptogenic mushrooms and Ayurvedic herbs. That's why I'm doing this ad because it's Ayurvedic. It only has a fraction of the caffeine of a cup of coffee. So you get your energy without the anxiety, without the jitters, without the crash, and it leans on mushrooms with a blend of matcha and their blend of chai for sustained energy. Each ingredient was added for a purpose. You have lion's mane. I don't know what that is,

but it sounds like something Joe Rogan would love. You get cordyceps, which helps support physical performance, not the shit we're talking about in Last of Us. I'm talking about mushrooms that help you. And turmeric for soreness. Again, I'm Indian. I know all about that. This is 100% USDA organic.

It is non-GMO. It is gluten-free. It's vegan. It's kosher certified, dove. So get your Mudwater and also donate to the Berkley Center for the Science of Psychedelics because Mudwater is a cool-ass company. That's mudwater, that's M-U-D-W-T-R dot com slash flagrant to support and again get 15% off using the promo code flagrant. Now let's get back to the show. Oh, no, actually, before we get back to the show, let me give you all some motherfucking dates. First of all, I'm going to be in Sacramento at the Punchline Comedy Club February 9th through February 11th. Those tickets are selling out, so get them quickly. March 9th through March 11th, Miami.

I'm coming for the ass. I'm coming home. Let's sell out the shows and then maybe I can convince Andrew, through love and the fun that I receive, that we should all move back there. Also, we just added two shows. July 12th is going to be Huntsville Stand Up Live. Only one show, so that will sell out. And July 13th, Nashville, Tennessee

Dainey's Comedy Club. Also, only one show that will sell out. So get your tickets at akashsingh.com. Now let's get back to the show. During the break, I just texted my girl that I'm thinking about her, bro. Oh, shit. Needed that.

Pull the save shit. Did you really? Thinking about you for no reason at all. Women always like, especially I always get all this criticism of like being masculine leaning and I don't hang around enough gays. And I'm like, I'm out here doing God's work and y' I don't hang around enough gays and I'm like I'm out here doing

God's work and y'all don't even fucking know it on dogs I'm like I'm out here getting niggas to tap into their emotions bro I done had some

of my street homeboys cry like for real my nigga I really never thought about it like that like yo I need to fucking

da da da da you know what I mean it was where I was talking to my homeboy and he was like mad frustrated with his girl and he was like mad frustrated with his girl and he was like yo like

you know just like every time she always act like she don't have an opinion da da da da I said have you ever noticed that she shrinks around you and he was like what do you mean I'm like you just have such a big and aggressive personality and she's not that type of person and whenever you get like

that even though you're just talking she gets small. And he was like, damn, yo, I got to stop. I was like, yeah, just maybe try talking to her a little differently. And you might get her to talk, but you come at her like you come at me and she can't handle the interaction that way, bro. He was like, that's fucking crazy. I never thought about that shit. Yeah, man.

That's funny. This is like when guys have a girl, like they have a baby daughter and they'll be like, man, I never understood like women before until I had a girl. And it's like, really? Like you had to have a whole nother life? You're basically doing that without having them have to have a kid. You know what I mean? But I was asking about the ick. So like the the ick is this, like, Gen Z term that kids use where basically, like, a guy will do something that is just, like, kind of random.

Like, not even a big thing. Just, like, a small little subtle thing. But it will turn the girl off so much that she can never like him ever again. Like, two people will be, like, dating, flirting, and then she'll see him, like, run with a backpack on. And then be like, I can never see you the same way. Do you believe in that? Yeah. I'm not saying I think it's right or wrong.

I'm saying, yeah, I believe it happens. You really think that that's real? You don't think it's the excuse to stop liking someone you already don't like? I think you might have had some questions. And then you see the thing and you're like, ugh. There we go. You know what I'm saying? It's the last straw.

But if you're in love with someone and they're doing everything, like, I just— But that's anybody, though. Everybody got that, though. Like, women, when they love somebody, they are perfect. Everybody got that, though. Like, I tolerate so, but both ways, like, the stuff, like, I, the stuff that I put up with for my fiance,

I have left many of relationships. You know what I mean? You love her. Yeah, it's different. Yeah, but it's like, oh, it's different. You know what I mean? Man, it's like, box crazy, box crazy. Box is fire. It's still a firebox. When people talk about the ick, I think they're talking about the dating stage.

I don't think they're talking about actually in a relationship. Early shit, yeah. But I think that a lot of dudes see it and they get this fear like if I do one thing wrong then the girl will stop liking me. It's just like if a girl

got the rose colored glasses. Yeah, I always took this as like a courtship kind of thing where it's like he's talking to me. I think I like him but then he did this thing and I'm out. Yeah, that's usually what happens.

Which is hilarious. But I'm saying I do think that happens. Yes, I agree. My homegirl slept talking to a dude because he wore shower caps and she didn't like that.

I wear shower caps. I wear shower caps. She was like, it bothers me. I was like, all right, she don't like that. It's a look.

It's definitely a fucking look. A shower cap is crazy. I'm not going to lie. There's those Twitter threads of the ick, and they're funny. They're hysterical. They're so good. Shower caps should be on there.

So good. Running with a backpack is crazy. The backpack just hitting you in the ass. It does look crazy, bro. You're like this. You're holding it like that. I'm sure nothing, like, it says something about what type of nigga this is. It's an insight.

And it's like, do I want to be with a person who does that? Or do you want to be with someone who got somewhere to be? Like, he's hungry. But it's the way you get and the way you got to be. You thirsty. Yeah, get an Uber. Get an Uber. Like, come on, bro.

You poor for Uber. You still got a backpack on like a child. Yeah, bro. I'm at the airport, babe. You just got to backpack on like a child. I'm at the airport, babe. You just gotta make a flight. I can't make a flight. Bro, when I was living in France, my host family, the guy that I was living with,

the dad was like this old bourgeoisie lawyer guy and it was pouring rain one day and I was like, oh, we should jog, get out of the rain and he just walked in the rain. And I asked him, like soaking wet, I was like, why'd you walk in the rain? And he just looked at me and goes, Mark, a gentleman never runs. And I asked him, like soaking wet. I was like, why'd you walk in the rain? And he just looked at me and goes, Mark, a gentleman never runs. And I was like,

that's fine. That's fine. I think about that to this day. I'm like running. I'm like, I'm an idiot for running. Yeah, I don't know you. All right. You know, you don't run for more.

I'm not running over. They say you get more wet if you run in the rain. Yeah, that's true. We missed it. There'll be another one. Yeah, bro. We missed it. Like There'll be another one. Yeah, bro. We missed it.

Like, I don't even go to the airport in, like, franticness. Like, we can't make it. I'm not going to make that one. And you just accept it. Yep. We need to do something else because I'm not living like that. It's crazy. I'm not living like that no more.

Yeah. No point in stressing. It's an unnecessary one. It is. There are more flights. Yeah. It's just like. It's an unnecessary one. It is. There are more flights. Yeah. It's just like, and the thing will,

it'll be fine. Yeah, yeah. The subway comes every two minutes. I was late. I missed my first flight to go to Kelly Clarkson when I was on my way to LA.

Yeah. I was in the car and I was like, I'm not making this flight. We need to find another flight. And they were like, but do you think you can still?

No. Well, we're going to not cancel the flight. I said, that's fine, but do you think you can still? No. Well, we're going to not cancel the flight. I said, that's fine, but you should be looking for other flights because I'm not making this flight

because I'm not running around this fucking airport. Yeah. I'm not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is crazy when you think, but like, I remember sticking my arm

in the subway doors to not miss the subway. Yeah. For a subway that would come in a few minutes. That's what I'm trying to say. I did that shit today.

That's my whole point. Jump down three steps. Then the shit just stayed there and I was like, I had time. And you get into the subway like you needed applause or something. I need to recognize what happened. You saw me just stop the train. And then everybody mad at you because you holding the shit up.

Get your arm out the door. I was on time, though. But, dude, that's exactly my shit of, like, I don't, I just don't want to live frantic like that. There's a whole life I had of being a fucking Best Buy employee and a Starbucks employee and all these low-level jobs and running around like this frantic idiot with my head cut off trying to get places and being like, if I don't get some time, I may be fired. It's like I'm not about to lose my life because I missed the plane. I'm not running around here like a crazy person. What was the worst job you ever had? No.

You know, that is what a little money will do. Right? It should just, it buys you time. Yeah. I'm going to be late. We're not doing that. I'm going to be late. Money can't buy you happiness, but convenience, it buys the fuck out of you time.

A ton of it. And it's like, yeah, no, we're not doing that. Yeah, that is, yeah. You got to be, yeah, like when people are rich and on time, you got to be like, hey, man. Wow. You earned it. Thank you, bro. Thank you for that.

And I definitely try to be. I try to be prompt. I don't like being late, but it's like, if I know it, it is what it is. Yeah. We just got to make

some other arrangements. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kelly. I'm going to try to word this correct because I heard you mention multiple times you said,

oh, I'm a man now. Do you identify as a trans man? No, I'm just meaning like I had to go from one role to another role. Because my nature is masculine of center. Like that is the skew in which I see the world.

And I feel like I've always been that way. I just didn't really understand what it meant in my body. You know what I mean? But I always mentally kind of was like a person that felt need to provide. I always dated dudes that I like a person that felt I needed to provide. I always dated dudes that I had to do a lot for. Oh, so you were providing in a way.

I always dated dudes that I had to do a lot for in the sense of just like emotionally keeping them along. So you was dating a bunch of bitch ass niggas. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

Oh, sure. Some of the lamest. Yes, I did. I liked lame guys. Yeah. For sure. Oh, that's so funny. We would have been something Yes, I did. I liked lame guys. Yeah. For sure. Oh, that's so funny. We would have been something back in the day.

I like nerds. I love them. Have you ever seen any of the dudes you dated back in the day, like now? Yeah, for sure. And what's the energy like? Fine. I don't know what it is for them, but they never really project anything crazy. Right.

You know what I mean? It's just like, what's up? I mean, also I'm so like chill, like, and I'm, I'm like a real person.

So I'm like, I know we fucked and it's weird. We're like, it's fine. You know what I mean? Like, so there's no reason to be weird. Cause it's not like,

I'm like, hey, don't act like I fuck, like, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, like Yeah Yeah Yeah Whatever it is

So you've hung out With the dudes That you used to be with Yeah I used to hang out With my ex-boyfriend A long time When I would go to LA Cause he lives in LA

He moved to LA Like years ago And he lives in LA And did he know Do you think he had Ideas, suspicions We never really Talked about it

Really You know what I mean I don't Did you ever peg any of them No That's what I'm saying I'm like I don't think so you ever peg any of them? No. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I don't think so, because I wasn't, like, grossed out by dick. It wasn't like,

it just wasn't my thing. Yeah. Yeah. But then you went to Atlanta and it turned you gay. Is it water down there? No, it's just there's a lot of fine black women and they are gay.

Yeah. Really? So you're like, oh, well, I didn't even know this was an option. But wow, this is interesting. And I mean, seriously, what is it about Atlanta where there's this like, it almost feels like there's this immense freedom in the gay community, right? I just think it's just a hub for black people so you get all types of black people. At first I thought that, but then I

also thought it's like, well, this is in the South. It's a religious place, but it also seems like a place where black gay people feel very safe expressing themselves and also accept it. Yeah, there's a big black gay culture in Atlanta. And what do you think that was? You think it's just a huge black community? There's other big black places that you don't see it in the same way?

But it was the attraction of Atlanta to everywhere. Like Atlanta, all black people know Atlanta is like the beacon of hope. You know what I mean? It's like I'm going to go to Atlanta and I'm going to change my life. I'm going to go to Atlanta. I'm going to get me a good job. I'm going to be able to get a house. If you're living on the East Coast where everything's super expensive and you're fucking living in a project,

you're like, we need to save some money and get our asses down to Atlanta so we could have some stuff. It feels like what we used to read about Harlem being, what we read about Harlem what it used to be, it feels like that's what Atlanta is now. I don't know if that's accurate or not. In terms of like, that was like the center of black America from what we learned in textbooks and shit.

And now it feels like Atlanta is that. Atlanta's just, yeah, Atlanta's just a place where you like for me when i when i went to school down there i had not ever seen in my life so many young black people that were like like just upwardly mobile and starting their own businesses and like out in the world like getting to i just had never seen that in Boston, never. So it was like, whoa, there's just opportunity here. You know, you'd go to little five points and it'd be 22 year old dudes and they own a store

and they like chilling and like, you're getting all types of black people too. It's not, it's like you got skater kids, punk kids, Afro punk kids, gay kids. It's just like, I never seen nothing like that. So I think Atlanta is just like this thing where you know, at least it used to be, where it was like,

hey, there's opportunity for me here and there's opportunity for me to do this with people that look like me. You think the freedom might come from being in a place where everybody looks like you? Whereas if you look different,

you kind of feel like you have to fit with this small group. Exactly. And I think the desire for individualism. Like if the majority culture... If everybody looks like this and is like this, yeah, I get to be myself for individualism. Like if the majority culture. If everybody looks like this and is like this. Yeah, if blackness dominates the majority culture in this space.

You're going to see more. I'll be the skater. I'll be like, what is my new idea? But that comes. I think that comes from what is my experience. I think that comes with the freedom of fitting in. I don't have to worry about fitting in anymore. Yeah, exactly.

So now I can truly be me. Now I do fit in naturally. So let me be me. Exactly. Whereas the rest of us as outsiders, only Indian in whatever school, one of two black people in Boston.

And if you go like, or if you're black in Boston, it's like, or black in a lot of cities, it's like, okay, there's like the three places that black people get to go. And then if I want to go

into the city, and be like, then I got to go do white people shit. I got to go to white people bars, I got to hear white people music. That doesn't exist in Atlanta. Everything is black.

The bars are black. The music is black. The clubs are black. You know what I'm saying? The strip clubs are black. Everything is black. So it just gives you this other layer of freedom. You can explore your personal identity.

The gay clubs are black. You know what I'm saying? So that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. In a place where you can explore your personal identity, if your personal identity is a different sexuality or if it's a different type of, I don't know, music or whatever the fuck it is.

Yeah, yeah, you can do it in that place. Wow, that's kind of, yeah. It's like being white. No, no, no, no, no, no. But in terms of like the way that you can explore it. It's so cool. So segregation was, you know. Yeah, yeah.

Finally, I'm forgetting. That was a head start. That's all, you know. Yeah, yeah. Finally. That was a head start. That's all I'm saying. You know what I mean? Interesting. And would you say that that's like the common feeling about Atlanta? Like amongst your friends that are black that have gone there? It was definitely the attraction.

It was why everyone was going. Yeah. Yeah, wow. And I think as a person, I i changed from experience not just my sexuality but just what i thought was possible for me it just opened my eyes to seeing the success yeah seeing all these other people yeah so and seeing it done their way and seeing it like this it can be totally black it doesn't have to ever adjust to whiteness yeah yeah yeah yeah there's an authenticity that exists there

and that made you realize, okay, I can be authentically myself and succeed. And especially old Atlanta, it was also, we're going to all fuck with each other and help each other.

Yeah. Like, you could come to a dude and he's like, yo, I'm renting out my business for like a thousand dollars. You could be like, I got nine hundred. He'd be like, fuck it. If you're going to give me cash, we can just do this and do that. And it's like, yo, I'm renting out my business for like a thousand dollars. You can be like, I got nine. And he'd be like, fuck it.

If you're going to give me cash, like we can just do this and do that. And it was like, there was all these ways to work around shit, just like other communities do for themselves. But you were like seeing this and you don't really, I at least didn't go really seeing that

amongst black people. You don't go to City Hall to start your business. Like my girl always talks about like when she first opened her hair salon and she had to go do all this paperwork. She was like, you know, the black woman who worked to City Hall to start your business like my girl always talks about like when she first opened her hair salon and she had to go do all this paperwork she was like you know

the black woman who worked at City Hall because it's black people everywhere she was like they just walked me through the process like baby this is

what you gotta do then you gotta go here so they're like almost rooting for you yes they want you they see a young black person they want you to win like the police

especially the city of Atlanta back then when I was in Atlanta the police didn't really you got to be, that's why people call Atlanta black Boston. Because it's like, you got to be drunk as fuck in the streets. The police didn't fuck with you. They didn't, you know what I'm saying? There was no real vibe.

We would go to the club. We would listen to current music, push each other like all night, like white kids march, no fights, none of that shit. Because like everybody had shit to do. And most of us were in college or had a business. So you just had stuff you wanted to get home to and it was kind of understood like we all here chilling

and the police would just be like you know get where you gotta go as long as there's no real shit going on we're good what's different about it now because you keep saying it used to be

violence and what happened with the violence just to me different people come in I feel a lot of people moved it became like yo that's the spot but people moved outside gangs come in. I feel a lot of people moved. It became like, yo, this is the spot.

But people moved. Outside gangs come in and they start to... I just think people moved without a purpose. It used to be you were going to Atlanta to do something. And now it's go to Atlanta because it's dope to be there. Oh, so instead of going to create, going to build. Yeah, you just got wayward people. Absorb and take away from it.

Exactly. Oh, fuck. And I think that's the main problem, because it increased the police. It increased the police, like, hostility. Because anybody going crazy is going to do what you were saying. It's like, I'm busy. I got a business I'm trying to build. I'm not trying to be out in these streets doing this fucked up shit.

That's what I'm saying. It's purposeful. And now it just seems like there's a lot of people that have no purpose. And it's just turned everything up. I remember I ran into the back of a cop car drunk at a McDonald's drive-thru coming home one night from the club. And he got out. He looked at it. And he was like, where are you going?

And I was like, bro, I promise you, I'm just going right there. Like, my house is right there. And he was like, get out of here. You know what I mean? And he was like, I better see you turn down that street. And I better not see you out no more tonight. And I was like, no, man. Did you get the order, though? Did you get the food? Yeah, get out of here. You know what I mean? He was like, I better see you turn down that street, and I better not see you out no more tonight. And I was like, no, man. Did you get the order, though?

Did you get the food? Yeah, I got my food. I asked him, I was like, can I get my food? He was like, get your food. I was like, all right. Wow. That was Atlanta. You know what I mean?

It was like, you felt really safe. Go to Atlanta, experience white privilege. Yeah. Wow. Not anymore, though. You know who ruined it? Black people. Is there any other place?

We've been ruining everything. We really do. That is very white of you, honestly. That's secretly a thing that black people think. We're like, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. All these black people going to Tulum. Now I can't go to Tulum.

Son, son. Black people done fucked up Tulum. We've been fucked up fucking South Beach. South Beach used to Tulum. Now I can't go to Tulum. Yeah, I know. Sorry. Black people to fuck them Tulum. We've been fucked up fucking South Beach. Bro, South Beach used to be cool. South Beach wild. Yo, that's hilarious.

Hold on, hold on. So there's like a first wave of black people going and it's like, oh, we here, it's lit. And then there's a second wave and y'all hate the second wave? Is that real?

I ain't gonna say it, bro. I ain't gonna say that either. I will. I think white people can't do that, bro. Black is white. Like, think about like Vegas

back in the day. Bro. And now you go to Vegas and you're like, oh, it's like old, fat white guys. A lot of people do this

with Europe. Oh, yeah. Or like a new like European city or whatever. Like you'll go to fucking like Sicily, now all the white people are gonna go

because it was in White Lotus or whatever. But like, they'll be the white people that have been, I've been going to Sicily for 10 years or whatever like that. And then you see the motherfuckers from like Long Island coming to Sicily and whatever. But like, they'll be the white people that have been, I've been going to Sicily for 10 years, whatever like that.

And then you see the motherfuckers from like Long Island coming to Sicily and you'd be like, oh, it's ruined. It's over. Here they come, blah, blah, blah. Because then it's beyond race.

It's just class. What's that part of Greece that everybody went to? Mykonos. Mykonos. Now it's then, you say Crete and then I heard somebody

already, no, Crete is too touristy. I literally heard that like, Crete's done already? Already. It's happening so fast now. It's crazy. Yeah, that's funny. Oh, that's hilarious. no, Crete is too touristy. I literally heard that like the already. It's happening so fast now. It's crazy. Yeah, that's funny.

Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah, everyone does it. Once you can look beyond race, it's just class and then it's like, all right, how else can we divide our little group?

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Because you don't want to identify with the second wave even though you probably are. Yeah. Probably the fourth. You probably, yeah.

There was mad waves. Let's be honest, none of us went to Tulum the first time we were invited. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was mad waves. Let's be honest, none of us went to Tulum the first time we were invited. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ain't going to that. Yeah. There's someone that grew up in Atlanta

in the 90s listening to you being like, what are you talking about? Atlanta back then. Yeah, that wasn't even Atlanta. Yeah, she don't even know that Atlanta like that. Yeah, for sure.

That's funny. Look, Sam, I want everybody to go watch you crush it and you people. Mm, Sam, I want everybody to go watch You Crush It and You People. I want everybody to go check out your special on Netflix, but also I want them to see the stand-up. Is there a tour coming?

What's the box? Yeah, I'm touring right now. I'm taping a new special in June. In June, where? New York. Where, where, where? Can we say, or? I can't say.

Okay, we won't say. Go see Sam Lodge. But make Let me go see website for four shows You'll find it I'm Sam J. I don't know you think Google it don't go Sam J. Go get the show what is fucking brilliant Thank you for saving my marriage. Thank you for saving my marriage. I really appreciate it. For real. For real.

You're the fucking best. Appreciate you. That was fun. Huge fans. That was absolutely great. Absolutely.