Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Let Elon musk SMASH your girl for $1,736,438,028 dollars?
Episode Date: July 28, 202200:00 - Start 00:29 - UK v USA Rap 06:04 - Testing Andrew UK slang 18:03 - Who's the real New Yorker? 22:57 - Pink Sauce 31:21 - Getting monkeypox is embarrassing 42:44 - Kid Cudi bottle throwing inci...dent 47:58 - Musk flies rocket into Google's wife 01:02:10 - Brooklyn Pastor robbed for a milly 01:11:23 - Trump threatens dealers 01:13:33 - Andrew's ball bag been bulking 01:20:15 - Kevin Hart reacting to Crowder's revelations 01:30:02 - Andrew brings out the big Meat
Transcript
Discussion (0)
They're just coming for Elon, huh?
This is what I think happened, okay?
He hooks up with his friend's girl, gave the guy $10 billion and was like, oh, I didn't.
And the crazy thing is I think most people have a number where they're like.
You got a number?
Marry or not?
Smash your wife right now.
Oh, $100 billion, Alex?
$100 billion?
$100 billion?
You're not going to say $100 billion?
Think about a $1 billion.
I would do for way less money.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant.
You know what I mean?
And I honestly, I started the podcast on Tuesday and I was like, yo, American rap is done.
You did say that.
What happened?
I didn't.
People thought I was being hyperbolic.
The more rap I've listened from the UK, the more sure I am that Americans never need to rap again.
Oh, shit.
Who's your favorite British rapper?
All of them.
All of them?
You like all of them?
Bangs, Ding Dong, Andy, Big Flippa.
I don't know their names, but they're great.
Oh, Pete and Bass.
I like them two old blokes.
Yeah, they're great.
Them old blokes is fire.
Shout out to the Trinidad and Tobago.
Whatever he says, you know what I mean?
But I'm just saying the UK rap is fire and accessible.
Like you watch people in the UK rap and you're like, I get rap.
Yeah, because they're white.
Yeah.
Exactly.
It's accessible to people like us.
Exactly.
And they're old.
They accept old people rapping.
They're more about the art.
In America. to people like us. Exactly. And they're old. They accept old people rapping. They're more about the art. Yeah.
In America,
in UK,
they appreciate the fine art
of hip hop and rapping.
Right?
So all different people
can rap.
Right?
Because they're all imposters.
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm saying?
They're all imitating
a different thing.
Everybody's imitating
so everybody can do it.
It's not pure from them.
This is not where rap comes from.
Yeah.
Rap comes from the Bronx.
It really comes from Jamaica, but it also comes from the Bronx.
So since it's so accessible to everybody, you have Artie, right?
A seven-year-old boy.
From Stranger Things.
I saw him in Stranger Things.
Him and his buddies were trying to defeat the Demogorgons for four seasons.
He took some time off and he became one of the most successful drill rappers ever.
That's unbelievable.
In UK history, right?
You have P.M. Baz.
Right?
The guys from the Muppets.
The guys from the Muppets.
Those guys are awesome.
It's Bert and Ernie, old.
Right?
Two old queers. Running amets. Those guys are awesome. It's Bert and Ernie, old, right? Two old queers running amok.
Running amok worldwide.
Red monkey pox is wrapping it up.
That's why I call it drill, baby.
Yo, you have clearly an elderly gay couple.
Yeah.
Survived AIDS.
Got through it.
They got through it.
Survived COVID.
These guys should be dead.
And gang violence.
Yo, that's their gang violence.
Yeah.
COVID nades.
Facts.
Gang banging.
Real talk.
That is the most dangerous thing to them.
They survived it.
Those are some thugged out ass dudes.
Yeah.
Going to Trinidad and Tobago.
Going to Lagos.
Do y'all not listen to Mr. Worldwide, the rap song by them?
I do.
Pete and Baz.
Bert and Ernie.
Old men clapping each other's cheeks, rapping about it.
Facts, bro.
T-cell count to the floor.
Remember when you thought.
No T-cells.
Still rapping, bro.
Still rapping, don't give a fuck.
Low T, bro.
Low testosterone, low T-cells.
All low T.
But they're out here rapping flow crazy.
Yeah.
What I'm trying to say is it makes me feel like I could be a rapper.
Dave, he didn't even change his name.
You know what I'm saying?
He's just like, I'll just go with Dave.
And it works.
What's your UK rap name, though?
Say again?
Your UK rap name.
You got to have like a cool one.
Central C.
God, man.
Central C.
Scotland Shultz, bro.
Scotland Yard. What if I call myself Scotland Yard? There you go. Do you know what that is? That's where they solve crimes. gotta have like a cool one central sea god man central sea scotland scotland yard what if i
call myself scotland yard there you know what that is that's where they solve crimes because
that's what he would do that's what i would do what crimes are there oh someone stole some crumpets
the London Bridge is falling down who done made it full oh The boobies got me running. Hey, we going together. Neener, neener.
Why are British fucking police sirens so gay, Simon? That shit is not intimidating at all.
I'll start doing dance hall shit when the neener comes around.
All I'm trying to say is, UK rap is the best rap in the world right now.
You know what I can't help but notice?
No.
Ever since this guy went to Italy,
all of a sudden,
he's so much less patriotic.
Yeah, I know.
No, no, no.
Ain't that something?
Ya bumba clap.
Don't call him a bumba clap.
Ya bumba clap.
You can't even cuss me out in English now.
Ya bumba clap.
You can't even cuss me out in English.
Ya bumba clap, Bopty boy.
Don't call him a bumba clap, bro.
Come on now.
Jesus.
Come on now.
In my gray tux suit with a bulge in that.
I'm about to show you the mandem.
Yeah, the mandem.
Wait, is the mandem the dick and balls?
What is the mandem?
The bunch.
That's my man's in there.
That's DMX.
That's my man's in there.
Yeah.
I thought it was dick and balls.
I'm about to show you the man-dam.
Why would he show you his dick and balls?
The man-dam celebrate Eid.
What?
He's circumcised, bro.
He's a Muslim dick.
The man-dam celebrate Eid.
Tracks don't run on Christmas Day.
I'm circumcised, so I'm working on Christmas.
Did you say the tracks don't run on Christmas Day?
What are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
That's why he likes it. What are you talking about? Hey, listen. That's why he likes it. Guys, that's why he likes it.
What are you talking about? These guys exercise.
Do you see how thin they are?
Do you see how thin these rappers are?
That's why he's wearing the gray tracksuit,
because he has jogging.
Do you see how capable they all are
to hit that squat and rap from here?
They like to frog it.
It's a frogging thing.
Don't do that.
You're going to have a testicle pop out of your ass.
The man down.
You're going to have the man down pop out. The man downicle pop out of your ass. The man damn trying to breathe.
The man damn trying to breathe,
bruv. The man damn trying to breathe.
So that's why you're like, because you don't understand any of the slang.
Son, I don't know a single word.
Okay, I don't know a single word, and
it's so fire. Every rhyme in
English, like, from America,
I've heard.
You can only rap Hennessy and Enemies so many
fucking times. Okay, what is duppy?
I heard them all.
Say what?
A duppy.
A girl with fat lips, bro.
That's not true.
Oh, these duppies done walked into the club.
Smell like a market of tuna.
I'll use it as a sentence.
Maybe this will be easier.
Yeah, yeah, do it.
Yo, trust me fam.
The next man that tests me in chess gonna get duppied.
That was fire. Who was that? Artie? Who wrote that shit? I'm the next man that tests me in chess gonna get duppied. That was fire.
Who was that, Artie?
Who wrote that shit?
I'm Mark.
The next man tests me in chess
about to get duppied.
Yeah.
Yeah, bro.
Don't pull up on me.
But what is duppied?
Duppied.
That's the fat puss lips.
It is, dude.
That's what it is.
How do you get duppied?
How do you get duppied?
You're getting rinsed out a lot
in your fanny, bruv.
And your puss lips turn into palm tree leaves, bruv.
Okay, what about bait?
What does bait mean?
Say what?
Bait.
Bait.
Yeah, British slang, bait.
What is bait?
Yeah, man, it's so bait, you steal my last paper clip.
This is what's on Mark's TikTok feed.
Guys, only a few more days to buy Infamous, okay?
I just want to say, first and foremost,
thank you guys so much for everybody who bought it and spread the word, posted on Instagram, tweeted about it.
I mean, you've changed my life once again, and I will continue putting my life and my career in your guys' hands because it continues to work out.
I hope you enjoyed the fuck out of the special, and I'm so unbelievably grateful for what you guys did, man.
It's been absolutely amazing.
We stopped
selling it on midnight, July 31st. When Sunday, July 31st turns into August 1st at midnight,
that is it's Eastern Standard Time, by the way, and then it's done. And if you can't afford the
$15 for the special, what I also want to do is I want to send out some links for people.
And please just be honest with me.
If you really truly can't afford it, we got you.
But don't take it away from someone else that really truly can't afford it.
But yeah, we got you.
So either DM me or Mark or Dove, and we'll get you a link where you and your friends can watch it.
And thank you so much for wanting to watch and support.
But, yeah, this is it.
This is the last time that you'll be able to ever see it completely ad-free
with every single wild joke in there.
It will be the last time where you can buy it.
And then once you buy it, it's yours forever.
But this Sunday, midnight.
Kind of even crazy to say, but I'm super grateful.
Thank you guys so much, and Kind of even crazy to say. But I'm super grateful. Thank you guys so much.
And let's get back.
Dude, British slang is the most fire.
Give me more British slang words.
I'll tell you exactly what they mean.
Skang.
What?
Skang, bruv.
Skang, bruv.
Yeah.
Skang?
How do you spell it?
S-K-E-N-G, skang.
Oh, skang.
Okay.
Yeah, skang. You thought of a skang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Skang. LikeN-G, skang. Oh, skang. Okay.
Yeah, skang, dude.
None of us skang.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Skang.
Like, what's a skang?
That's the ops, bruv.
That's the opposition gang, bruv. It's not the ops.
Yes, it is.
You don't know shit, bruv.
What's a skang, bruv?
Hey, mate, next time you call me a dork,
I'm going to bust my skang off.
Oh, it's a wee pistol, bruv.
Oh, is it a gun or is it one of those, like, slingshot?
What are the gang members?
It's a musket.
That's what they use over there for gang violence.
Seriously, a skang.
A skang is a gun.
That is true.
That's a gun.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go.
Yeah, exactly.
Give me one more slang word before we continue this goddamn podcast.
You've got to understand something about Pete and Baz.
Rappers,
those are the two old blokes,
right?
Those,
come on, mate.
Look, listen,
those guys,
those guys,
all these like young people
who are trying to be tough
and shit,
you know what I mean?
Like,
you're going through
gang warfare, right?
It's a big deal.
Pete and Baz
fought the Nazis, bro.
That's a good point. These guys, like that, they have seen real war. and Baz fought the Nazis, bro. That's a good point, bro.
They have seen real war.
The gang.
The gang, bro.
The gang.
Okay.
So what I'm saying is like, don't try to compare what you went through in your life to what these guys went through.
Yeah.
That's real.
That's a good point.
All right.
What is flat?
Oh, yo, they're from England, too.
So they actually like had bombing and shit like that.
Yeah, they experienced...
Your gang warfare ain't shit,
American rap.
Yeah, a couple British gangsters
came by your house,
threw some fucking rocks
at your window
because there was a woman reading.
The men...
What?
The gal that was reading.
The gal that was reading.
Made them celebrate Eid.
Yeah, I'm just saying.
They're not having these women read.
Yes.
So... What? Yo. I was reading that. Made them celebrate Eid. Yeah, I'm just saying. They're not having these women read. Yes. So.
So, what I'm trying to say is P and Baz have been through some real fucking shit in their life, dude.
Yo, you're right.
You're right.
You have to respect their gangsta.
I do wish you were a little bit more patriotic, but I miss old Andrew that really loved America.
There's nothing greater than the United States of America.
Oh, that's nice.
The second greatest thing.
I believe it when he says it now.
You don't believe it anymore.
Yeah, I know.
It feels disingenuous now.
It's not real.
God damn, did I lose all my pride in America?
Yeah.
You lost it, but it's not real anymore.
Now you're just saying it.
You're saying it.
I've got an American eagle on his chest, okay?
I'm supporting the Detroit Red Wings.
You're supporting.
Andrew Schultz.
Yeah, exactly.
And what are you supporting?
Huh?
What is this?
What's on your feet right now, dog?
You want to explain what's going on?
I like him.
I came in front, dog.
Son, this is British shit.
Y'all don't get this shit.
In Britain, they wear crocs like this, bro.
Those are clogs, bro.
Son, this is Britain.
This is Britain.
Look at this.
What is that?
That's Britain
He dressed like he's going
To a water park right now
Come on
Son
He looked at his album
And he went
Yo, how can I fuck
This whole shit up right now
I was really
I was like
Yo, when is he gonna change
For the podcast?
He's like
He walked around too
That's how he is
Oh shit
I'm not gonna lie
The comment on
On the episode
That came out Tuesday
Was the top comment
It was one of the funniest
Things I ever read
What was it?
This has been great
To watch Alex go through
His midlife crisis
At 40
Midlife crisis?
I don't know what it was
Okay
Cause that's when
You go through
A midlife crisis
Oh emo face
Oh
I need to explain more Thank you for clarifying bro Bruh Anyway Look Bruhs Because that's when you go through a midlife crisis. Oh, emo face. That makes way more sense.
Thank you for clarifying, bro.
Anyway, look.
Bruvs, can we start the podcast?
Yes, bro.
That's all I'm trying to say is that there's a lot of things for us to discuss,
but right now, UK rap is the best.
It's the most accepting.
It's the most trans-friendly.
It's the most child-friendly.
We need tracksuits.
Say again?
We need tracksuits like they wear.
We do need that.
Yeah, but like matching tracksuits that we all bust out.
I think that's a great idea. I love that.
And we need the little purses. They all wear
the purses, too. Well, you already have one.
Yeah, you do. No, I don't.
You lost it? Why you capper?
No, I don't.
Come on, dude.
I don't have a fucking purse.
No, you've literally got one. Yo, what are you talking about?
Y'all are crazy.
The one that was my wife's that I gave her?
What are you talking about?
No, it says Supreme on it.
Bruv, come on, bruv.
Bruv, what are you keeping there, man?
Bruv, is Supreme still around?
Oh, it's bad hot.
Yes.
Oh, it is?
Okay.
I thought the Chinese bought it up already.
That's what I'm saying.
Did they buy it all up?
That's what I'm saying.
When I saw the line full of Chinese people, I was like, this shit over.
Why would they love something
they can't even pronounce?
Yeah, it's crazy, right?
I guess they can.
How do they say it?
Say it.
They say supreme.
No, they don't.
Have you got tough letters in there?
Bro, you haven't seen them outside?
Man, there's no L or nothing.
They got that.
Bro, no.
There is to them.
Yeah.
I've seen them outside
just looking at the,
trying to pronounce it.
Bonsai Dude the mandem bro
The mandem was out there trying to get them
R's off
Come on guys listen
Coffee
What you just having a cup of coffee
Black coffee
Yo yo it's all good, man.
I don't want you to get defensive.
Yeah.
Yo, UK rap is fire.
Let's move on.
Let's talk about something else.
How do you feel about the world?
Come on, bro.
Yo, speaking of Europe, we didn't even talk about Alex going to Barcelona.
Oh, did we not?
Hey, if you don't point at people, I know who you're talking to.
No, this guy.
Alex.
Oh, this guy?
You know Alex?
Hey, speaking of people, how does Alex do?
I'm fucking, I'm retarded the more thick I am.
Who's Alex?
No, no, you were in Barcelona.
Yeah, I was.
And?
Amazing time.
Yeah?
We should go to Europe and never come back.
Hey, bro, bro, bro, bro. We should go. We should go to Europe. Bro, he's not even American anymore. Yeah? We should go to Europe and never come back. Hey, bro, bro, bro, bro.
We should go to Europe.
He's not even American anymore.
Yeah.
This guy Canadian already.
Yes.
You are the last standing.
Let's do it.
I love this.
I think we should go to-
Let's take the mandem.
Yeah.
I think we should go to UK and we should really take out the mandem.
And then take back rap from the UK rappers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We have to take back rap.
Somebody's got to do it.
I think it's us.
Somebody has to go to the UK and show them how the fuck to do it.
And it's going to be a guy dressed like you.
Yes.
You got it.
Oh, my God.
Bro.
Oh, my God.
Sit back down.
It's worse than dancing outside.
Come on, bro.
Yo, you're a waste, man.
Come on, bro.
I'm a motherfucking dance hall.
I'm a motherfucking dance hall.
What is this? Come on, bro. You haven't been to the dance hall. I'm a motherfucking dance hall. Come on, bro.
You haven't been to the dance hall, Mark?
He looked like he's from one of the communities in Boca Raton.
Come on, bro.
Bro, can I age gracefully, bro?
Can I age gracefully, bro?
We would like it if you did.
I'm going through my emo stage.
You're going through your elderly stage.
Listen, I'm going through my emo stage. You're going through your elderly stage. I did.
Listen, I'm being myself.
And that's the beautiful thing about UK rap.
You can be yourself.
You don't got a front.
You don't got a cap like in America.
I killed everybody.
I killed everybody.
In UK rap, you can come out.
They be killing, though.
Say again?
They be killing.
Bro.
Bruv.
Listen.
Do they be?
They be killing. Do they be? They be killing. Bro. Bro. Listen. Do they be? They be killing.
Do they be?
They be killing.
When I saw that song by Central C.
Is that what you're basing it on?
Nah, they be killing, bro.
Like, every fucking artist in America is going to jail right now.
Not every single one.
Yeah, we're saying artists in America kill.
Artists in the UK do not.
Yes.
Yeah, why are you so sweaty right now?
It's fucking hot in here. You turned the fucking shit off. You want drugs right now, bro? You turned the UK do not. Yes. Yeah, why are you so sweaty right now? It's fucking hot in here.
You turned the fucking shit off.
Are you on drugs right now, bro?
You're on drugs, bro.
You turned the fucking heat off.
Bro, take off the hat, dude.
Yeah, the hat and the hair
is killing you.
It's literally...
Bro, something...
I think you're on drugs right now.
You're a forehead.
I'm really sweating, bro.
He's not used to the climate
in America anymore.
Dude, this is crazy, bro.
This is...
How is that going to help, Doug?
I mean, maybe you get the hair up.
Okay.
I mean, your forehead
was drenched in sweat.
I was hot.
I've been saying I was hot.
And even your cheeks
are a little bit hot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
You should have been dressed
like Andrew, bro.
I know, I should have.
Fucking ShamWow
or something like that
so we can soak this guy off.
Soak him off.
Hey, you. Okay, but seriously, can we can soak this guy off. Soak him off. Hey, you.
Okay, but seriously, can we figure something out?
Yeah.
Okay.
What do you want to talk about today?
Remember when you told Al he had to get soaked off?
Yeah.
That shit reminds me of this.
My favorite road rage incident ever.
Get out of the truck.
Oh, wow.
Get out of the truck, little lady.
No, I'm good.
See, because you know you lose.
How do I lose?
Because I will beat your fucking dick into the ground all day long. Get out of the truck, little lady! Nah, I'm good. See, because you know you lose. How do I lose?
Because I will beat your fucking dick into the ground all day long.
That's kind of gay, isn't it?
I will beat your dick.
Hop out.
He said tap out.
Hop out.
Hop out, okay.
I thought he said tap out while I'm dancing.
I apologize.
No, no, I thought he said, I apologize. He said I apologize. No, we're not. I thought he said, I apologize.
He said hop out.
Hop out.
Damn, bro.
Yeah, but you really got to practice your road rage before it happens.
You know what I mean? Yeah, dude.
I mean, you get so caught up in things and like what you really want to do comes out, right?
It's that Freudian slip.
Yeah.
You know?
I will beat your dick into the ground, dude.
Sorry.
Okay, guys, let's start a podcast.
Yes.
Okay?
I think that we still have to go to the UK, and we have to save UK rap.
That seems like a good mission.
Actually, we don't have to save UK rap.
We have to go conquer it, because it is conquered American rap.
Take it back.
We have to take rap back.
Yeah.
As New Yorkers, it is our duty to take back our cultural institution, which is rap.
He's talking to you, Al.
You're the New Yorker.
Bring it back to the Mecca. What do you mean he's a New Yorker? Al's the New Yorker. Andrew's European. I'm Indian, which is rap. He's talking to you, Al. You're the New Yorker. Bring it back to the Mecca.
What do you mean he's a New Yorker?
Al's the New Yorker.
Andrew's European.
I'm Indian.
Mark is Canadian.
You're New Yorker.
This guy's barely from New York.
He's fucking Puerto Rican.
He's not Puerto Rican.
No, no, no,
but Al's essence is New Yorker.
Yeah.
I mean, your essence is,
it's just shifted a bit.
Your essence is...
That's your essence, okay? Piece of shit. That's your essence. That's your essence. Okay. Piece of shit. That's your essence. All right.
That's your essence right there. Yeah. Yeah. You're, you are 100%. Okay.
There's three beeps miles. Write that down.
The point I'm trying to make here is
don't you ever disrespect me
by trying to say that shit again, okay?
Al damn near lives in the islands, bro.
Look how you dress, dog.
What about you is New York?
Son, this is New York.
This is not New York, bro.
This is New York.
Everything about me is New York right now.
What's not New York?
Everything.
Watch those.
Those are the ****** horse right there.
That's a Devon Bleak, bro. That's four. Watch those. Those are the right things. That's a Devon Bleat, man.
Yeah, it's Forbes.
It's Forbes.
There you go.
Bro.
Y'all don't know New York, bro.
Crocs is New York.
This guy knows New York, dog.
What does he know?
He's just a kid from Far Rock.
He's not even, he can't even see New York.
In Far Rock, they didn't even know 9-11 happened.
They was going about their day. They didn't even know 9-11 happened. They was going about their day.
They didn't even know 9-11 happened.
They didn't even know.
They didn't know until like two days later.
They were like, oh, some shit happened.
You were right there for 9-11.
Son, your boy was right there.
Back when you were a New Yorker.
Son, I was there.
You were a New Yorker.
Back then.
I was a New Yorker.
You were a New Yorker.
And you, what were you doing?
Planning it?
Son of a bitch.
What were you doing back then, motherfucker?
Did you
take that day off school so you could celebrate?
Son of a bitch.
Motherfucking
asshole.
Say I'm not from New York. I'll give you some
real pure New York racism.
Remind you where I'm from.
Getting more racist. European.
European.
Everybody got to chill the fuck out right now. Remind you where I'm from It's getting more racist European European Listen
Very European of you
Everybody got to chill the fuck out right now
Okay
Trying to take away my New Yorkness
Okay
All I'm talking
Hey
As a New Yorker
I can appreciate art
That UK rap shit
Artie
That six year old kid
The Gerber baby food kid
Doing all the rap In UK The kid from Euphoria The Gerber baby food kid doing all the rap.
The kid from Euphoria.
I love that kid.
That kid right there.
Love that kid.
Bro, that motherfucker right there.
E.T.
The kid who adopted E.T.
Yeah.
That became a rapper.
Yeah.
That kid.
Agent Cody Banks, yes.
That motherfucker right there.
Nobody's touching him, bro.
Nobody's touching him. Unless. Nobody's touching him.
Unless it's a fucking Catholic priest.
Unless Kevin Spacey's around,
and maybe he might go down.
Kevin Spacey would rape Artie, dude.
Real talk.
It would be bad.
Oh, my God.
But yo, respect to Artie.
Yeah.
Mad respect to Artie.
We're coming through. We're coming through.
We're coming through UK.
You know what I mean?
We're taking over the game,
but you're going to be right there with us.
Right?
We're going to get you that extra small tracksuit.
We're going to get you the extra small Stone Island tracksuit.
We've got to get you the Pebble Island tracksuit.
Watch these guys are real killers, bro. That's what I'm saying. I'm going to wear this. Yeah, it's going to be in thisuits. I was like, come on. Watch these guys
are real killers, bro.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm wearing this.
Yeah, it's going to be
in this outfit.
Artie don't rap about killing, yo.
They're not killers,
but you'll get jumped
or you'll get stabbed.
But Artie, though,
Artie don't rap like that.
What?
I don't want to be stabbed.
Bro, you changed, bro.
I don't want to deal
with all that.
No, you changed, bro.
The old Andrew,
you used to thug.
No, New York,
we don't stab.
We slice. We slice. Buck 50. Yeah. What? Yes, bro. The old Andrew, you used to thug. No, New York, we don't stab. We slice.
We slice.
Buck 50.
Yeah.
What?
Yes, bro.
Turn you into the Joker.
Yeah, then they get you
from here to here.
Boom.
Fuck you up.
150 stitches
on your motherfucking cheek.
You never slice
someone's cheek, bro?
No, I haven't yet.
Oh, come on, bro.
Come on, bro.
Why?
I haven't been initiated.
No one's asked me to.
Virgin over here.
Come on, dawg.
No one's asked me
to be involved.
I want to join a gang.
I would love to, but it has not come up as an option for me.
QAnon's not a gang?
It's not really a gang.
It's more like a clan.
You know what I mean?
It's not really a clique.
We don't go like that.
No, but I could see you in a gang, Mark.
Yeah, I feel like it'd be fun.
I think you would offer value.
I think so.
I think you could be in a...
You don't think that he would fit in in a gang, Alex? Yeah, I could design the trap. I could make it cool and fun. I think you would offer value. I think so. I think you could be You don't think that he would fit in in a gang,
Alex? Yeah, I could design the trap. I could
make it cool and fun. He would make it super
fun. Have activities. Yeah.
Good DJ. You could play all the songs.
Fantastic DJ. Right? I'd be
kind of fire.
If any gangs are hiring, I don't know
really how that process works, but reach out.
Yo, he's got me. I got my
resume at Monster.com. Exactly.
I'd love to be involved. Listen listen i don't want to talk about uk rap anymore in this episode thank you i want to talk about some other
shit that's happened okay look at the list and tell us what you want to talk about listen pink
sauce trend tiktok look come on guys can we be serious For one moment please
Listen
A lot of people
A lot of people
Have been pink saucing
On TikTok
It's a trend
You don't even know
What it is
Listen guys
Listen
Listen
The pink sauce
The pink sauce trend
On TikTok
It's
This is one of the biggest
You haven't heard anything
On TikTok
Yeah it's that shit right It's pink sauce It's It is one of the biggest anything on tiktok yes that shit right
it's pink so it's it is one of the hottest songs oh my god it's one of the most fire songs a lot
of people think the pink sauce is like this pink sauce um uh wait pink sauce pink sauce with a
soda on the side pink sauce pink sauce with a soda on the side.
Exactly.
And I think that something that we all need to recognize is that the FDA should not intervene with black business.
And that has happened throughout history.
Yes.
Is that black people have built incredible things and it has been regulated out of their hands.
This is Black Wall Street 2.0.
This is Black Wall Street 2.0, bruv.
Yeah, bruv.
That's our UK rap group name, Black Wall Street.
Oh, that's fire.
Black Wall Street?
I don't think about it.
That's fire.
Right?
Come on, bruv. Yeah, no one's ever done that before. What? Street? I don't think about it. That's fire. Right? Come on, bruv.
Yeah, no one's ever done that before.
What?
A rap group?
Black Wall Street?
Yeah, as a rap group.
That's our rap group.
We understand it as a thing before.
We're not saying we're going to do Black Wall Street.
Yeah.
Stop that.
What are you saying?
The game.
Black Wall Street.
What?
The rapper, the game.
His crew was called Black Wall Street.
That was his G-unit.
I thought you said it was like a video game. He's from Cali, so he knows about the game. I thought it was like Oregon Trail. His crew was called Black Wall Street. That was his G-unit. Oh, I thought you said it was like a video game.
He's from Cali, so he knows about the game.
I thought it was like Oregon Trail.
I was part of Black Wall Street.
He let me in.
Oh, shut up.
He let me in for one summer.
Shut up.
What's The Game?
The Game, The Rapper.
Is he a British rapper?
Yeah.
I only know British rappers.
The Nintendo, bro.
You know, he plays The Game.
Yeah.
Blowing a cartridge.
Yo, that's a fire. That's a bar. Right? Yeah. Blowing a cartridge. Yo, that's a fire.
That's a bar.
Right?
Yeah.
Blowing a cartridge.
Golden Eye.
There it is.
Write that down.
Blowing a cartridge.
Blowing a cartridge.
You know, take off the panties, blowing a cartridge, lick it up real good this way.
That's actually pretty good.
Right, dog?
That's actually pretty good.
That is...
UK rap is bad.
UK rap is...
Anything sounds good in UK rap. Give me... UK rap is bad. UK rap is the best.
Anything sounds good in UK rap.
Give me anything to rap about,
I'll rap about,
and this is the last time
we're going to talk about UK rap.
Give me a topic, go.
Well, rap about this pink sauce.
Okay.
Oh, he got that.
The Prince, Mark.
So he said,
my dick is pink.
Well, I'm going to give it a pink sauce.
Oh, boy, that shit is harder.
Okay, tell me about this pink sauce.
So Shorty just made a sauce pink and the FDA is cracking down because she's selling it to people and they're dying?
Yeah, literally.
It went viral first before she started selling it because she was like, I just put it on everything.
And she got videos of her putting on like fucking fried chicken.
It's just wild.
And then people were like, oh, this seems cool.
So she started selling it and she just clearly wasn't ready to go into any kind of business.
The nutrition facts
say there's 40,000 calories
in a bottle.
It says there's 444 servings.
She misspelled vinegar
on the ingredients list.
She won't tell anybody
what it says.
I should spell that.
You got to be very careful
with that spelling.
That is a very specific spelling.
It's called Avenger.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, I mean,
people were buying it.
It was coming in like
a plastic wrap
and the bottles
were just exploding.
Like she just wasn't ready.
They're all different colors.
Like, some were, like, super pink, and some were, like, kind of purple.
What is it?
I assume it's ranch with pink dye.
Something.
She won't say what it tastes like.
Yeah, she won't say what it is.
People say it tastes like ranch, kind of.
Yeah.
I mean, it looks disgusting.
Yeah.
Does it, though?
Yeah.
Actually, it looks pretty good.
It actually looks vile to me.
Bro, if I was a kid, I would be all over this. I would love that, actually. 100%. It looks like Pepto-Bismol. Yeah. It does, it does. That shit looks awesome. That shit looks vile to me. Bro, if I was a kid,
I would be all over this.
I would love that shit.
100%.
It looks like Pepto-Bismol.
Yes,
it looks like Pepto-Bismol.
Yeah.
Nah,
you remember that movie,
what was it,
Hook?
Where like,
they all eat all the fucking yogurt
at the thing
and all the fake food.
Remember that shit?
That's what that looks like.
And I didn't like that part.
Really?
Yeah,
I was like,
what's this pink shit all about?
That's the Indian in it.
You're like,
why are you wasting food?
Eat it.
What the fuck?
Come on.
I don't even remember
that part of the movie.
You don't remember?
They're all playing make-believe
on the throne food,
but then it becomes real food?
No, the man that forgot.
Robin Williams is there?
Hook.
1991.
Yeah.
Steven Spielberg.
Wait, why do you know the name?
I mean, the year.
What's that for?
He just looked at it.
I was seven years old.
Steven Spielberg.
Rufio.
No.
Rufio's five.
All right.
We're back.
Okay.
That's what this shit looks like.
I think it's dope. I support her. A wholehearted one. I supportufio's five. Alright, we're back. Okay. That's what this shit looks like. I think it's dope.
I support her wholeheartedly.
I support black business, bro.
Also, there's a lot of
food
that's FDA approved that kills people.
They asked her about FDA approval and she was like,
I don't know why I need FDA approval. It's not a medical product.
And people were like, what is the F
you think stands for in FDA?
Fucking drug administration.
Wait, what? What were you think stands for in FDA? Fucking drug administration. Oh, yeah.
Wait, what?
What were you going to say?
F***ing dick administration?
Jeez.
Why are you trying to pull the mandem out right now?
No, no, no.
I'm just saying the mandem,
listen, the mandem wants to be able to have some pink sauce
whenever he wants.
Yeah.
I think the mandem should be able to do that shit.
Like wagwan with the FDA
that they're just trying to take this shit out.
No, for real.
I'm serious.
Like, the mandem already eats things that is horrible for us.
Yeah.
The mandem already smokes cigarettes.
Like, I smoke cigarette.
Why is...
Yeah, what is a cigarette called?
Yeah, what is a cigarette called?
Yeah, a stick.
A stick.
Mate.
Mate.
Yeah.
And if you smoke sticks, you all right?
Get monkey pox, mate.
Yes, mate.
For real.
Yeah, on the lung.
Monkey lung.
The monkey pox has been attacking the cigarette community.
They really have been going after the cigarette community.
What I'm trying to say is, what the fuck?
Where does the FDA draw the line?
If all this other shit is giving us cancer fucking killing us, why do they draw the line at black-owned businesses?
Well, they haven't said no.
She just didn't try.
She was like,
why do I need FDA approval?
I don't sell medical products.
That is a woman.
That is a woman.
Thank you.
Why can't I just do
whatever I want
despite murdering people
and making them miserable?
Why can't I do
whatever I want
despite making people miserable?
Yeah.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Who would do such a thing?
Yeah.
Small government, bro.
Why is the government
trying to regulate how miserable women can make men?
Facts, bro.
The government's a bunch of waste men.
You know what I mean?
We got to get them out of there and do something different, Boris Johnson.
All right, guys.
We'll take a break for a second because I got to help you all quit smoking, man.
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Also, guys, Big Daisy Energy Tour still cracking.
San Diego, I'm heading to y'all tomorrow.
Tickets are already sold out, though.
What the fuck you gonna do?
Also, I got an announcement to make.
Atlantic City, we're gonna move these dates that were supposed to be August 5th and 6th.
You will see why.
I promise it will be worth it.
Do not worry.
We're gonna move those dates and it's gonna be worth it.
Again, August 11th through 13th, I'm going to be in Tempe, Arizona at the Improv.
Y'all need to come the fuck through.
September 9th and 10th, I'm going to be at the Orlando Improv.
Mark's hometown.
Mark is coming through.
All those dates and more at akashsingh.com.
Get your tickets because your boy's starting to sell out.
Let's get back to the show.
Speaking of monkeypox, can we talk about how we cannot get it?
So far, there's like 1, thousand cases in New York City and rising.
And it's in the gay community.
I think only the gay community can get like vaxed for it or something like that.
Yeah, that's what my news is.
They can only get...
Grand Wizard.
They're the only ones that can get vaxed?
Yeah, Grand Wizard posted that shit.
So I don't know if that's true or not.
But apparently, because it's only affecting them.
What are they doing that they're getting this monkeypox?
I think we know what they're doing.
What are they doing?
Buttfucking.
Yeah, but we be doing that.
Do we?
Straight people butt fuck?
Y'all never butt fucked?
When's the last time you butt fucked?
I mean, decades.
That's what I'm saying.
And against my will, but I'm not saying that.
Decades.
Father France.
But I'm just saying, like, why is this butt fucking only affecting the gay community?
Butt fucking is a little more, I think, prevalent in the gay community.
So it probably will come to the hetero community.
Okay, it's more prevalent in the gay community, but there's way more straights.
So what if the butt fucking is equivalent, just in terms of numbers?
Well, also think about how much more gay dudes are fucking.
That's true, because they don't got women to stop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was talking to a gay dude
about this yesterday
and he was just like,
son, gay dudes,
I fucking love gay dudes.
They got it.
Gay dudes,
but they're,
this is the thing,
gay dudes are frat boys
but just with style.
Like the way that frat guys
are like,
yeah dude,
I'm gonna fucking
fill up a hole tonight,
you know what I mean,
and then I'm out,
I don't give a fuck, right?
I'm not talking about your virgin frat or whatever it is.
No, my frat was gay, dude.
We were super gay.
What are you talking about?
No, but you guys cared about like arts and crafts and shit like that.
That's not true.
We were just banging dudes and chicks.
Hey, you had a gay guy in your frat.
Yeah, pink sauce everywhere.
You found him.
It was fine.
We didn't care.
What I'm trying to say is like the idea of a frat like bro, like, yeah, let's just go fuck some chicks and whatever.
It's like that's gay guys.
Gay guys are like, yo, location.
I'm near a Chick-fil-A.
Who's trying to suck this dick?
And then you just leave.
So it's like I wish that you would think like the most homophobic group is a bunch of like toxic males.
But if they all both knew how much they had in common, this would just be like the best conversation.
Yeah, dude, I'm in fucking Starbucks
and this dude blows me up
in the bathroom real quick,
get the latte
and I'm out of here.
And the guys in the frat
are like,
dude,
I wish that women
let me do that.
Right?
Like,
these communities are the same.
I think it would cause
too much jealousy.
The frat dudes
would be jealous of the...
Yeah.
And it'd be an issue.
I mean,
frat's basically gay.
You know what I mean?
Like, y'all sleep together. Yeah. Y'all dry hump each other for fun elephant walk elephant walk
what's the elephant walk that's when a bunch of guys grab each other's dicks and then they walk
in this big circle like how an elephant will hold on to the tail of another elephant you guys call
that elephant walk what do you call it family reunion that's what the archives were going to do
at his wedding
I was really hoping
when he walked in
that would have been awesome
you gotta bring
that tradition in
that'd be so cool
yeah I don't know
we were talking about
like the unchecked
we was talking about
on the podcast before
but like the unchecked
male sexual drive
yeah
oof
so what's your advice
there's probably gay people listening what's your advice? There's probably gay people listening.
What's your advice to them?
Yo, be careful of that monkey, bro.
Maybe just pump the brakes a little.
Take a week or two off.
But all the pictures of it.
Trying to get to you and that monkey.
Trying to get to you and that monkey.
All the pictures I've seen of it,
it has like all these bumps and shit
all over the skin.
It looks disgusting.
I think there's probably a dormant period
where you could spread it.
All these diseases would be crafty like that. COVID, same thing. I didn't know I had it when I gave it to disgusting. I think there's probably a dormant period where you could spread it. All these diseases
would be crafty like that.
COVID, same thing.
I didn't know I had it
when I gave it to y'all.
That's actually a great point
because if disease
wants to spread itself,
that's the goal.
It can't just be out here
all blistered up on you
because once you saw
someone like that,
you'd be like,
the fuck away from me, bro.
I'm not fucking with y'all.
But when you see them
shits come out
on someone's face,
ick.
You a dirty motherfucker
to have the monkey, bro.
You a dirty motherfucker, bro.
For real.
Yo, you're not wrong.
That shit is wild.
That's embarrassing
to even tell your boys.
Yeah.
Yo, I got the monkey, dude?
Come on, man.
Right?
It's wild.
Put this picture up.
Yeah.
Son, that's why I think
if they got the vaccine,
way more people are going to get this
than COVID vaccine. You don't want this shit. Oh, because's why I think if they got the vaccine, way more people are going to get this than COVID vaccine.
You don't want this shit.
Oh, because it's so visual.
It's so visual.
It's embarrassing.
I'm going to look bad.
We're vain.
We're vain.
You're going to get this vaccine.
That motherfucker
was going down.
Yo, but you know what's funny?
He did his hair.
Like, once your face
looks like that,
let your hair be how it is, fam.
Ain't nobody looking
at your coif.
Your fucking head looks
disgusting. Go back to
his fucking stupid head.
Look at that. This is what happens when you
fuck dudes in a Chick-fil-A bathroom,
bro. You get the monkey, dude.
That shit is crazy, no?
That is how you stick it at Chick-fil-A, though. That's actually, that's a good
protest. Oh, yeah, that's a great protest.
Or did Chick-fil-A do it?
Oh, conspiracy. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Yeah, that's a great protest. Or did Chick-fil-A do it to them? Oh, conspiracy.
Yeah, that's sketchy.
Yo, is somebody attacking the gay community?
Because that was the conspiracy with AIDS, right?
Is that it wasn't from gay people fucking animals or whatever the hell it was.
In the Dave Chappelle joke, what is it?
Well, he's saying that that didn't happen, right?
But still, it's, what was the joke?
The conspiracy was that some dude fucked an animal and then started fucking dudes, right?
And then, but what if, what if, what if, what if?
And the conspiracy was that, like, the government put this in the gay community to, like, kill them.
Yeah.
What if that happened with this?
Well, this doesn't kill them.
Maybe they're less homophobic now.
They're like, look, we don't want to kill gay people.
We just don't want, we want as few people to be gay as possible.
And their life is too fun and appealing.
So just make that shit seem a little unappealing, finally.
Yo, yo.
Because the way we were just talking about gay dudes' lives is like,
y'all just fucking each other, hanging out.
It's the best.
What's worse than dying for a guy that's gay?
Being married.
Stop listening. When you said, what's worse than dying for a guy that's gay? Being married. Stop listening.
When you said,
what's worse than dying?
I didn't hear the rest.
I was thinking
not being able to fuck.
Ah, yes.
Being married.
Yo, monkey box
is just being married,
gays.
Relax.
Oh, you can't have sex whenever you want?
Boo-hoo.
Wait, what?
So this is the guy's account.
Come on, bro.
I was looking at it, so I was like, man, this is so scary.
Like, if you're a guy out here, maybe gay or straight, and you're like, man, I'm worried that maybe I could get it, you know, because I'm having sex sometimes.
You know, like, I'm sure a lot of people are thinking that.
Then I went through his account, and, bro, this shit is—he's going for it, bro.
Yo, yo, yo.
Yo.
Bro, my man is going crazy.
Come on, bro.
Chill out.
I'm just saying, that's—
What are you doing?
Yo, get the skang, bro.
Get the skang and bust his top off, bro.
That was disgusting.
Busting his top off is how we got in this situation.
Are you crazy?
Nah, bro.
Bro, that was crazy game, bro. I just got fucking monkeypox from the you crazy? Nah, bruv. That was crazy gay, bruv.
Monkeypox from the screen just now.
Uh-uh, dude. Bruv. So I'm just saying,
as long as you don't do that, then I think you're gonna be okay.
Do what, bruv?
I feel like I got that shit, bruv.
Is that what you just said, Alex?
That shit made me feel uncomfortable.
The amount of gay stuff we just saw, bruv.
Yo, that's how I know trans women are women.
Because when I was watching the trans porn,
I was like, alright, it's not that bad.
That right there was gay, bruv.
Bruv.
Bruv.
That was the man dem, bruv.
That was the man dem, bruv.
The trans porn, that was a woman dem and a man dem and a little something extra wiggling and waggling around.
But, bruv,
the two hairy assholes, bruv.
Bro.
That was wild.
Bruv, the twig and giggle berries, bruv.
Oh, man.
Now, isn't homophobic to think that that's a little,
a lot, you know?
Like, to look at that
and be like, wow,
that's kind of intense.
No, bruv.
I think we are all homophobic
if it is.
No, you don't have to like it. I'm sure they look at straight porn and they're like, come on, man, get that shit off my screen.ophobic if it is. You don't have to like it.
I'm sure they look at straight porn and they're like,
come on, man, get that shit off my screen.
Am I racist because I don't like cilantro?
I'm not racist.
I'm racist because I don't like cilantro.
No, I just don't like the cilantro.
I still want the people who cook with the cilantro
to have enjoyable lives.
Even though I think that their food is disgusting.
Why would you put that in your mouth, you monster?
But I don't hate them.
I think you can be repulsed by something.
Yeah.
That repulsion that you're feeling is God saving you from the monkey.
Oh, my God.
When you look at—
Son, we are open-minded on this shit.
When the transform was popping—
We're pro, we're pro.
That was fire.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
When Shorty was getting
her cheeks clapped,
oh, that was on Patreon.
When Shorty was getting
her cheeks clapped, right?
Dubs girl,
you talking about Dubs girl?
Dubs girl was getting
her cheeks clapped, right?
And then when she was on top
and that fucking,
it was like someone
was trying to steer the boat,
bruh.
You know what I mean?
It was like,
it was Forrest Gump, dude,
looking for them shrimps. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? It was like, it was Forrest Gump, dude. Looking for them shrimps.
You know what I mean?
You know what it's been
on a sailboat with the rudder?
Yes.
When the rudder was out,
that shit was straight porn.
That shit we just saw right there,
not straight, bro.
Hey, turn it into salt.
Hey, bro. Right? isn't that biblical come on
turn it into salt damn do you know what god did no no no god saw that shit and had the same
reaction he was like well he grinded him into salt is that where grinder comes from killer assault
yeah but not like taking back when black people took back the n-word they took back grinder like He grinded them into salt. Is that where grinder comes from? Killer of salt. Yeah. Is that where grinder comes from?
But not. It's like taking back,
when black people took back the N-word,
they took back grinder.
Like, y'all not gonna,
you're not gonna get me, God.
How much salt do you think you eat today
that's made out of old gay dudes?
Think about that.
You know what I mean?
Every time you're,
that's what,
a lot.
Yo, black people love seasoning.
Y'all are the first ones
to be on salt.
Oh, shit.
Y'all be having the hypertension.
Don't be y'all-ing.
You're gay.
You're gay. Yo, you know who, we are not. the hypertension. Don't be yalling. You're gay. You're gay.
Yo, you know who?
We are not.
Hate season.
Let's go for it.
What do they call it?
Zesty, bro.
That's seasoning.
Yes, bro.
Y'all are zesty.
The women then.
Yeah.
Put your shoes on.
But yeah, get your shoe out there.
I need more salt.
Listen, this is how straight dudes sit.
This is how straight dudes dress.
And this is how straight dudes eat chicken with no motherfucking seasoning of old gay dudes
from Sodom and Gomorrah.
Son, this is so hot.
Yo, my dick is somewhere between my legs,
on the bottom of the chair, a little bit hanging out the top.
Come on, bro.
Geez.
Yeah, I'm both wearing a box.
The man didn't celebrate Eid, bro.
Bro, we are so straight, dude.
No, we're straight.
We can dress whoever we want.
I want to fuck your shoe, bro. That shit looks nice. Son, I. No, we're straight. We can dress however we want. I want to fuck your shoe, bro.
That shit looks nice.
Son, I tried to, son.
It got little pussies in it.
Look.
Look at that.
This little pussy right there.
You did.
Listen.
Come on, bro.
Yo, stop playing with...
Oh, my God.
Come on, bro.
That looked...
Was that too crazy to penetrate?
Will we get demonetized?
Who gave you those?
Say again?
Who gave you those?
Yo, my boy, Slam.
Slam Burdenbury.
Are you walking to London?
Jesus, bro.
Why does it need to be
so waterproof?
Nah, he's like a big
sneaker designer.
Nah, I know those.
He don't know them, bro.
You said that
with no confidence.
He knows them the way
you know UK rappers.
You know them, bro.
I know all UK rappers.
Yeah, exactly.
Come on, dude.
I know about Coins Bags.
My favorite UK rapper, Coins B coins bags you never heard about it so come on that shit goes all right yo can we talk about an american rapper
no please all right kid cuddy guy in the head with a bottle rolling loud all right oh my lord
and he said if anyone else tries to throw a bottle at me i'm leaving and then immediately got
another bottle thrown at him. And this is more
of racism in America, I think.
Why do you think it's racist? Because
they're at Rolling Loud, okay, and a bunch of white kids
are throwing trash at one of the
greatest entertainers of our day. I thought it was
just Kanye, yo. Because Kanye bailed
and then he was the fill-in. Kanye doesn't have an arm like that,
bro, come on. Nah, but I'm saying since Kanye bailed
and they're beefing, people are like, nah, we don't fuck with you.
Nah, racism. That makes a lot bailed and they're beefing, people are like, nah, we don't fuck with you. Nah, racism.
That makes a lot more sense.
You saw the video?
Yeah, I did see the video, but if you want to play it, you can play it.
Let's run it one time.
Oh, shit, that's a good shot.
Yo, where is...
Goddamn, I forgot the name of the quarterback I was trying to reference.
What the hell is his name?
Aaron Rogers.
Aaron Roethlisberger?
Yep.
One of the greats.
Oh, shut up, Kid Cudi.
He basically is like, yo, if you fuck with me, I'm out.
Yo, you want to know something crazy?
This is going to become a trend now.
Yeah.
Because this got so, it's like the school shooting shit.
Like, if you give it enough.
No, he's not actually.
The school shooting challenge?
No, actually, no.
Dude, I remember the school shooting challenge? No, actually, no. Dude, I remember
the school shooting challenge.
That was crazy.
CDC warns TikTokers
to get a school
shooting challenge.
No, no, I see
what you're saying, though.
Yeah.
What do you think
I'm saying?
Because I think
we're on the same page.
Because it's a lot
of copycat shit.
And everyone's like,
peeksaws.
The school shootings
after Columbine
were like copycat killings.
Yeah, you don't have
to put the gun fingers
out when you're
talking about it.
I know. The school shootings... Hey, I can't not be put the gun fingers out when you're talking about it. I know.
The school shooters.
Hey, I can't not be a thug.
You know what I mean?
It's in my brain.
I'm the mendem.
You are.
But that became the trend,
so now it's going to be
the same thing.
So this went viral,
and you're going to throw shit
at entertainers
who are going to attack
entertainers.
I think comedians
are going to attack
on some copycat shit.
Low key, yes.
Once that was the most
viral thing.
Who else got attacked?
An active shooter came to Craig Robinson's show with a gun. Yeah, you didn't Once that was the most viral thing. Who else got attacked? An active shooter
came to Craig Robinson's show
with a gun.
Yeah, you didn't know that?
No.
Where the fucks
have you been,
waste of butte?
Where the fucks
have you been, huh?
Yeah.
What have you been doing?
Chappelle got attacked
with a knife.
It's just becoming
like a thing.
You can see it more.
It's Columbine.
You know what I mean?
Will Smith is Columbine.
Some guys were talking
to Andrew's show
in San Diego. Remember that? Oh, that's right. It's Columbine. You know what I mean? Will Smith is Columbine. Some guys were talking to Andrew Schoen in San Diego.
Remember that?
Oh, that's right.
That's basically violence.
Called you gay.
They made me call me gay.
I was a psychological thriller.
It was, man.
It was terrifying, man.
I hate that guy forever.
For the rest of my life, I hate that guy.
Made me call me gay.
I wish I could throw something at him.
All right, but Kid Cudi, can y'all stand for Kid Cudi?
Because remember when I was making fun of Kid Cudi and y'all was riding his dick?
When did I ride for Kid Cudi?
Not you, but I think it was you sucking a pink sauce out.
Remember, you was slobbering pink sauce.
Ride somewhere off a fucking cliff with him.
How about you do that?
Look, this guy is a great entertainer, okay?
He was doing his best.
No, he's not.
Yes, he is.
He's so entertaining,
why are they throwing water bottles in his fucking face?
Because they are haters, okay?
He's a goofy for trying to replace Kanye after they beefed.
Like, the arrogance there is crazy.
You say some wild shit about Kanye, right?
And then Kanye cancels the show,
and you go, I'll replace him?
When you know everybody bought tickets to see Kanye?
What you think was going to happen?
You know how arrogant you got to be where you're like, oh, they're going to love that.
I'm going to replace him.
Yeah, get the pink sauce out from your teeth, bro.
Yeah.
Well, why would Kanye pull out if he loves his fans like that?
Why would he do that to his fans?
Kanye loves Kanye.
He said it in the song.
Yeah.
That's a decent point.
Yeah.
And then we love him for loving him. So what do you do if he showed up? He did a feature with Lil Dur Yeah. That's a decent point. Yeah. And then we love him for loving him.
So what do you do
if you're Kid Cudi?
And he showed up.
He did a feature
with Lil Durk.
That's right.
And then he did a song
that normally Kid Cudi is on.
I don't remember which song.
Oh, yeah.
Father Stretch My Hands.
Father Stretch My Hands.
That's fire, dude.
Kanye winning.
Did Kanye set the whole thing up?
Was this his whole mastermind?
Like, I'm going to pull out,
put Cudi on it,
and then I'm going to come
and outshine him
and come on the song?
I think so.
100%.
He did it.
In conjunction with Rolling Loud?
Yeah, Rolling Loud set up motherfucking
Kid Cudi. And they probably had
the accuracy of that throw is unbelievable.
It's hard to throw a bottle. That's amazing.
And that was the first shot, I think. First shot.
I'm pretty sure. Yeah, yeah. Smacked him in his
fucking head. Yeah, that was amazing.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know who that kid is, but you gotta sign him.
I think Kid Cudi's on it.
I think he's's on it.
What?
I think he's in on it.
You think he moved to get hit?
I think he leaned in.
Bro, that's some substitute teacher shit.
Like, they just disrespected him.
Yes.
He's a substitute teacher.
Yeah, I guess.
We came to see Kanye.
We didn't come to see you.
Stop it.
Day and night.
What do you do if you're in this situation, though?
The lonely soldier wants to to sleep In the night Yeah
How long ago was that song
Yeah I know
Yo I'll be honest with you
I don't know a single
Non-white kid
That likes that song
I specifically don't know
A single non-white
Suburban kid
That likes that song
Because you're not in the trap bro
That's the issue
I'm just saying
You're not in the trap
You're not running with real killers
You know what I mean
Like real killers Fuck with Kid Cudi dude Al Real killers fuck with Kid Cudi, dude.
Al, do you fuck with Kid Cudi?
No.
Al's not a real killer, bro.
I'm saying.
I'm going to put you on a t-shirt if you keep disrespecting Kid Cudi.
He got three bodies, bro.
What are you talking about?
I'm going to put you on a t-shirt.
Stop.
Me?
Yes.
What does that mean?
Is that a thing?
Yes.
That's what the men them say.
You don't even understand.
Oh, bro.
I'm putting you on a t-shirt.
I put you on a t-shirt, bro.
Yeah.
Oh, because if you're dead, you're like on.
Yes, bro.
Oh, bro. Okay, bro. He doesn't even understand bruv. Yeah. Oh, because if you're dead, you're like on... Yes, bro. Oh, bruv.
Okay, bruv.
He doesn't even understand, bro.
No.
Yo, I'm really out here.
Eventually.
I would love to join a gang
if anyone is hiring.
I would love to be involved.
I am, bruv.
That's crazy, bruv.
Yeah.
Okay, bruv.
But can we go on this one, bruv?
Do you want to talk?
Do we have another story, bruv?
Why did Elon Musk
smoke out his boy's best friend?
No, his boy's girl.
I heard that that's fake, bruv.
It's fake?
Yeah, bruv. I heard he didn't smash her bruv. It's fake? Yeah, bruv.
I heard he didn't smash her, bruv.
He said, I actually haven't had sex in quite some time.
This is the ultimate.
Like, yo, I'm a virgin, bruv.
What are you talking about?
How are you going to argue with a guy who's like, nah, I don't be getting no pussy?
Yeah.
Guy's clearly being honest.
He could have got his dick sucked.
Oh, loophole.
He could have Bill Clinton that shit.
But then he took a picture with old boy.
Like, he said it was from a couple hours ago.
He's like, yeah, we're still cool.
Yeah, if you build, we'll probably settle any affair.
Also, he wants that too.
He don't want the world to think Elon smashed his wife's clint.
Right?
Right?
Like, wouldn't you rather?
It's like when the Russians took out JFK.
Like, we would rather believe that it was some mafia shit.
We'd rather have Americans believe it's some mafia shit than
another country took out our leader
and we did nothing.
I didn't realize how impressionable this guy was.
He goes to Europe, he's European, he does Rogan again,
and then fucking the Russians kill JFK.
Can you have an original opinion, dude?
Come on, dude.
Goddamn, bro. That shit hurt my feelings.
My man.
No, no, no. I thought I was on to some shit with the Russians.
Yeah, you might be.
You might be.
Sometimes you got to lie to the people, bro.
Okay, I got you.
Do you know what I mean?
That's what Americans do.
They be lying to us.
Which Russians?
Who was the Russian?
Jack Ruby was a Russian?
Nah, they...
I don't know.
The guy in the building, what's the motherfucker's name?
Lee Harvey Oswald.
Lee Harvey Oswald.
He was like in Russia.
Yeah.
For like months training.
Did you not know this?
CIA.
Oh, yeah.
He was like in Russia for months, then comes back.
And then went to that Kid Cudi concert and fucking drilled him in the head.
And then, of course, you have the connections to the mafia.
So you're like, yo, we're going to need you to sacrifice one, take this guy out so he can't admit that he's a Russian asset
that was told to go kill the president.
Because once he admits that, now we've got to go to war with Russia.
Let's go to war with Russia.
So we'd rather our president die and then become a martyr
and then we don't go to war with Russia,
and that's nuclear war at that point?
Yeah.
And then fucking millions of people die, Or just one dies, we rewrite history,
and then Russia can't admit they did it
because they don't want to go to war neither.
Is it nuclear war in the 60s?
I don't know, that's a thing.
No, it was because JFK was worried.
Oh, the bad pig shit?
The bad pig shit.
Let me ask you this, though.
Why wouldn't Putin say it?
Putin don't give a fuck anymore.
Why wouldn't he right now be like,
hey, we killed your president, bitch.
He give a fuck.
He does.
He does give a fuck.
OK.
Interesting counterpoint.
No, like even with the Ukraine shit, he's like, we're stopping the Nazis.
Oh, yeah.
You still need an excuse.
You got to brand it.
PR spin.
Exactly.
Like if you don't, if you really don't give a fuck, be like, yo, that's mine.
Yeah.
OK.
Do you know what I mean?
No.
Like, why do we always need
these excuses to take shit?
Like, we did too.
There's weapons of mass destruction.
It's just like,
yo, be honest, bro.
They got some shit.
You can't be honest, bro.
Yeah.
They living in the dirt.
They got shit
and they living in the dirt.
They live underneath that dirt.
Exactly.
Like, we gonna need that, bro.
You not gonna use it.
You take a camel to work.
Why are we taking a Ford F f-150 baby exactly so we gonna need that yeah we'll give you a little piece of
that yeah that works out good for everybody you know yeah but they lie more for their people like
i think putin's lying for actual russians so they support oh he's lying for russian support he's
saying they got nazis over there so russians support him so oh he's lying for russian support he's saying they got nazis over
there so russians support him so his point is why wouldn't he say yo we fucking marked out jfk to
america sucks to get more russian support that's what you're saying right why would russians support
that because jfk wasn't doing nothing to them america looks pussy though oh you think that
russians get off on us looking pussy i think everybody gets off on us looking pussy that's
yeah that's possible that's possible number one's possible. Number one, that's the
thing when you're number one. Yeah, but I
don't think Russians think they're number one.
No, but you like seeing number one look
pussy. It's like if you
watch the NBA, you hate the
Dynasties, you love seeing the Lakers lose.
Yeah, the Yankees. People were like, they love to hate
the Yankees. Love to hate the Yankees. People love to
hate America.
Yeah, some people on this podcast even.
Yeah.
Why can't we love two things?
Why can't I appreciate
UK rap and what they've done
with rap and how they've elevated to another?
They're the Elvis of rap, bro.
They took
a thing and they made it better.
They just made it
so much better. Is that wrong to do? so much better. Is that wrong to do?
That is fantastic.
Is that wrong to do? Counterpoint?
That was good.
I'm just saying, the UK
rap scene right now is much stronger than
the American rap scene. How many times
are you just going to kill the ops?
Is that all we're doing?
American rappers just killing ops? Can you do something
else? I'm getting tired of it.
It's boring.
There's a lot of ops, though.
I know, but it's too much.
You need to rap about art and investments.
Yeah, investments is cool.
That shit was super gay.
Not gonna lie.
That shit definitely hit me different.
That felt like them pornos we was watching earlier, right?
When I listen to that song,
and you're like, Rothko's, Wilkie's,
and I'm like, you're gay.
Why do you hate on a guy Giving people investment advice
Yeah
Come on dude
Son
What is his investment advice
Sell drugs
To make a lot of money
So that then you can give it
To people who know
How to invest in shit
And then they'll make
Lots of money for you
Isn't that better than
Just selling drugs
And killing people
It's evolution
God damn You you're right.
I was trying to,
you know what,
I was being a hater.
You're being a hater, though.
No, I was being a hater.
That's unfair.
He's admitting he could have
bought a house,
a building in Dumbo
before it was Dumbo
for two million.
Man, I was hating, bro.
You're a hater.
I was hating.
I take that back.
That's on me.
Yo, hater accountability
is a new thing.
That's a new initiative
in 2022.
We got to be accountable
when we're haters.
I agree.
Yeah, yeah. Like, just acknowledge when you were're haters. I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, just acknowledge when you were just hating.
I was just hating.
The dude made smart business decisions.
Regardless if he got advice from people, at the end of the day, he's got to pull the trigger.
Yep.
And he fucking, it takes balls to pull the motherfucking trigger.
Uh-huh.
Nah, bro.
All respect to Jay.
And we're back. Elon Musk is smashing the gal them, okay?
Okay.
That's what we were talking about.
Wait, that's what we were talking about?
Yeah, that's how we got into all this.
Oh, God.
Listen, they're just coming for Elon, huh?
Yeah, Hayden.
It's crazy.
Hayden.
Maybe Hayden, yo.
The craziest thing is that this, let's say this happened.
This is what I think happened, okay?
He hooks up, cheats, hooks up with his friend's girl, okay?
Oh, you think it actually happened.
Gave the guy $10 billion and was like, oh, I didn't.
And then he goes, I guess you didn't.
And the crazy thing is I think most people have a number where they're like, again, not anyone's girl specifically, but the hypothetical, you know, the royal girl.
Yeah.
You are.
I'm saying I feel like Elon Musk could smash most people's girls.
Married or not.
You got a number where a dude could smash a wife right now.
And then you squash it.
And then you squash it.
And you take a picture with him too?
And you squash it.
That's what I'm saying.
And you take a picture with him?
I think most people, oh, a hundred billion, Alex?
A hundred billion dollars?
A hundred billion dollars?
You would say,
no, I still am mad at you?
I'm not going to take a,
this is your wife?
You're not going to take
a hundred billion?
Hold on, this is good.
This is actually
a very good discussion.
This is your wife, bro.
One, no, Alex,
one hundred billion dollars.
Think about a one billion.
I would do it for way less,
but I ain't gonna say it on here, bro.
Son.
I ain't gonna
say it on here, bro.
Saying it on air is wild, bro.
Y'all crazy for even putting that
out there. I didn't say my number. I didn't say my number.
I'm saying what your number could have been.
You said your number. $1 billion
is crazy, and that's fucked up
that y'all would even voice that.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
But what would be your argument to her?
It's like, yo, mad dudes already fucked you for the free.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Like, y'all let mad busboys in them cheeks for free.
And y'all not going to take a billion to add one more body? Would it bob you more if she was like, boys in them cheeks for free. And kind of take on billions and
one more body. Would it bob you more if she
was like, yeah, I'll do that shit for
a million dollars? Yo, there was a whole movie about
this shit. Indecent proposal.
For a million dollars.
Back in the day, a million
was serious. Now, here's the thing. He smashed
the dude that invented Google's wife.
That motherfucker like richer than Elon.
There you go. So he don't need the bread
that's a great point
that's a great point
so he did it for the love
bruh
that's some power shit
like smashing
other people's wives
that's some power shit
like when Carl Malone
used to run through
his teammates wives
and shit
he would do that?
apparently
yeah he was an actual rapist
oh yeah
like a stat rapist
he impregnated a 13 year old or some shit when he was in college what is an actual rapist? Oh, yeah. Like a stock rapist.
He impregnated a 13-year-old or some shit when he was in college.
What is an actual rapist?
I like that you had to disclaim that. Not an alleged rapist.
He's an actual rapist.
That's not fair.
That's not fair.
That is a gang rapist.
We've got the craziest gangs in real time.
Our gangs be banging dog
y'all think y'all bang
not like us bruh
okay
that's why that shit
is fucked up
but here's the thing
you think that
if it's real
the Google guy
was taking a picture
on some
like you're not gonna
have power over me
I don't give a fuck
about this bitch
I'll take a picture of you
I don't give a shit
no I think it's
you'd rather people think
that this guy
didn't fuck your wife
even if he did.
Like, let's say he did.
It's almost better that you walk around these streets like, nah, he never fucked my wife.
Everybody's looking at you every single time.
They're like, wow, like, Elon fucked your wife, bro?
That's crazy.
And everyone saw Elon's body a week ago, too.
Uh-huh.
And they're like, that was on your girl?
Uh-huh.
And I think they're getting divorced now.
Wait, who?
The Google guy and the wife.
And that was the reason why they're getting divorced. Oh, shit.
That's what they're trying to put in. Now, everybody's come for Elon,
and I'm like, I feel a little bit bad about
it, but I'm also just like, you don't get to
be the richest guy in the world for free.
Hold on, though. What? Here's
a little thought. If you're the Google
CEO or whatever,
you got billions of dollars to lose in a divorce
settlement. Why don't I make
it look like this bitch cheated, even if she didn didn't so I could hold on to my money?
Oh, coo coo.
Elon, this makes you look good.
You can deny it.
We'll take pictures, whatever.
Now, do you get to keep more money if they cheat?
I assume if you didn't have a prenup but she cheated, I assume it's easier to hold on to your money.
You just paint her as a villain as much as you can.
I don't know if the courts are like... I think in certain states
she might be right. Like, uh,
there's like moral clauses
or whatever. Yeah. So, like, if you
are unfaithful,
it doesn't entitle you to
the same amount of money that you had.
And in general, I think if you can paint her as like a bad
spouse person, etc. California's a wild
state. If they're married in California, they don don't give a fuck she might get more money empowered
individual you know i mean that's a woman doing what she wants he was ignoring her yeah yeah yeah
that's always their excuse right so you need to get filled with cum yeah what is that yo make a
friend bitch also like what happened to like it's annoying when guys are all in your shit like what
happened to that right like when you're walking down the street you know what i, it's annoying when guys are all in your shit. Like, what happened to that? Right? Like, when you're walking down the street, you know what I mean?
It's repulsive.
It's repulsive.
These bitches.
I'm going to get filled with cum.
It's disgusting.
Yo, Andrew Tate needs a motherfucking rap song, B.
Oh, that'd be fire, dude.
Yes.
So fire.
Yes, Quinn.
Yes, that's British appropriation. Son. Yes, Quinn. Yas. That's British appropriation.
Son.
Yas, Quinn.
That is...
Yo.
Yo.
Everybody want to be British right now, bro.
Yeah.
The British Empire's coming back.
They're making a comeback, bro.
It might be.
You want to be British?
Do I?
You always said that.
Oh, I love Britain.
I love London.
I do love London.
That, that, that, that, that.
I do love London.
And that was daddy for a minute
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yo okay pass from brooklyn got robbed live on stream yeah yeah can we see the video i haven't
seen the video what's better is the ig live he did afterwards oh he did ig live yeah but like
with some other people that were like, I don't know,
calling him out or some shit.
He just starts calling
this woman fat.
Biggie.
He calls her Biggie
the whole time.
Yeah, so basically
they rob him.
You don't really see shit.
You see some guys
and some ass come up.
On live, he hits the floor.
This guy doesn't react for shit.
You think it's set up?
It seems like
an insurance thing.
That was my thought.
Yeah.
Because you say
it's a million dollars
worth of jewelry.
Why the fuck you got a million dollars
worth of jewelry in a church?
Like, it just doesn't make any sense.
Yeah.
It's probably $50,000 worth of jewelry.
Maybe.
Oh, oh, oh.
If he got robbed.
So he's making the claim.
He's making the insurance claim.
Yeah.
I got robbed for a million dollars
worth of jewelry.
So he is,
why does a pastor have a million dollars
worth of jewelry?
That's exactly.
If you do,
you deserve to get robbed
and you should give that shit
out in the community.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah, no, I believe that.
You're not for God
if you got a million dollars
in jewelry.
Yep.
Interesting.
I can confidently say that.
Really?
Mark, would you trust
a priest with a million dollars
in jewelry?
I wouldn't trust a pundit
with a million dollars in jewelry.
What is the Vatican?
Yeah, it belongs to the church,
the collective, the people.
Sistine Chapel's open.
Anyone can go see it. Not really, bruv. Yeah, it doesn't belong to anyone. You, the people. Sistine Chapel's open. Anyone can go see it.
Not really, bruv.
Yeah, it doesn't belong to anyone.
You can go there for like 10 minutes.
You can't even take a picture.
It doesn't feel like mine.
Yeah, you got to pay for it.
You know what I mean?
It's not free.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you do have to pay.
That's another interesting thing.
But this is like an individual
that just has the money for himself.
He does whatever he wants,
but he goes on vacations, whatever.
What about like Alstein?
He has like private...
Yeah, same thing.
Yeah, that's a little weird.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is that weird,
or is that just his way
to like, you know, spread the gospel? Maybe that's the most effective way. Maybe he needs to travel so he shit. Yeah, that's a little weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that weird or is that just his way to like, you know,
spread the gospel?
Maybe that's the most effective way.
Maybe he needs to travel
so he can get the,
you know,
that Jesus juice
to as many people as possible.
Private jet though?
He doesn't need private.
Yes, he does, man.
No, be on a plane.
Huh?
You know, be on a plane.
Play the guitar on the plane
like that one dude.
First class.
Bless everybody on the plane.
Yeah.
Well, do they have to sit first class why
don't they sit economy why don't they walk i'm okay with you having a deal you know what i'm
saying like eventually you're gonna walk it back i'm okay with you having like a nice like if a
priest has like a lexus i'm like okay fine yeah but if he's got a fucking maybach no why because
it's just too much you don't need opium you want to have a nice life as a priest cool that's fine
you're a man of god that doesn't mean you have to live
like a peasant. But when you start getting
super opulent, it's like
if you had a $100,000 Rolex,
that's not for God. You want to have
a decent life, comfortable life? Cool. But there's a point
of opulence. I don't believe
that. The trade-off is it should be going to the
community. Yes, you can do something to the community. If you want to have a comfortable
life for you, cool. You don't need to struggle.
But opulence is selfish purely that's not for god or
anything but god made him selfish no this shit ain't on me i don't want to like rollies you did
this no that's no i work hard yeah i make all these people go to heaven the least i can do is
drive a maybach now the greed is one of the devil made you so yeah the greed is a sin that you can
choose to avoid have we spoken to the devil at all?
No, he's so funny.
Like, have we spoken to him?
He's like, yo, I'm not down with none of this shit.
Like, that gay shit is for them.
Like, what if, like, we talk to the devil, he's like, yo, why you throwing all this gay shit on me, bro?
I like pussy, son.
You know what I mean?
Like, isn't that crazy?
That's a good point.
He was an angel.
You know what I mean?
He was an angel.
Yeah.
And then I guess he became the devil.
One dick suck
by the wrong person yeah i'm just saying that is a crazy thing to just throw on something that's
not why he got cast out it wasn't a dick suck wait what'd he do it was pride he was pride over uh god
and all the other angels he thought he was the best because he was nice with music because he
has some self-confidence that's it yeah i mean what does god think about himself yeah well he's
got a lot of pride he's not thinking nothing he's god he's just i look himself? Yeah. Well, he's God. That's a lot of pride.
He's not thinking nothing.
He's God.
He's just.
I look up to you, fam.
No, but he's devil's like, yo, I'm better than God.
I'm the best.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
He didn't say I'm better.
Yeah, he did.
That's why he got sent to hell.
You're just guessing, I think.
It's more fun when you're guessing.
Hold on.
So what?
So wait.
So he questioned the authority of God.
Yeah.
Just off of music alone.
Because he was so nice with the beats, I swear to God.
He's kind of like...
Yeah, I swear to him.
He knows.
I'm just saying,
it's kind of like...
The whomst.
It's UK.
It's UK rap, right?
Isn't that what's
happening right now?
Okay, yeah.
It's happening right now
with UK rap.
It's obviously much better
than American rap.
There's no American rapper
right now that can even
touch UK.
They can even touch it.
Right? Yes or no?
Maybe Fabio Foran.
Maybe. Fabio's verse on that show was crazy.
I'm not going to lie. He fucking bodied all that.
I was going to say 21 Savage.
He's British!
British!
Damn, dude.
I didn't even start listening to 21 until I found out he was British.
That's when I started
listening to his music.
Yeah.
100%.
Respect.
Yeah.
So, I don't know.
I got to look into this God thing a little bit more.
I got to look into it.
They're putting a lot of shit on the devil.
Like, right now with Elon, they're saying everything about Elon.
Elon's like, no, I didn't fuck Google's wife.
Right?
Google's wife.
That's what I'm saying.
God was putting mad shit on the devil.
Like, yo, he's just fucking boys or whatever. I don't think God thinks the devil's like that's what I'm saying God was putting mad shit on the devil like yo he's just fucking boys
or whatever
I don't think God
thinks the devil's doing that
what does he think
he's doing
the devil tempts you
and the devil's like
fam I just like music
why are we talking
about fucking butts
you know who else
likes music
gay people
oh
music
yeah I guess
they do like that
but I think
straight people
like music too
straight people
enjoy music
how are you gonna
make music gay all the time?
Yes, music not gay, bro.
Literally open every episode singing.
Why is music not gay?
Music theater, gay.
No, no, music holes.
Opera, gay.
Music holes, gay.
Music holes are gay.
Who's the best singer you know?
Mateo Lane, gay.
He's a great singer.
He's a great singer.
He's not the best singer right now.
Oh, stop it.
Ed Sheeran is the best singer right now. No, let's go great singer. He's a great singer. He's not the best singer right now. No, stop it. Ed Sheeran is the best singer right now.
No, let's go.
Respect.
Ed Sheeran's a good musician,
but Mateo, I'll sing Ed Sheeran any day.
I don't know, man.
I'll be honest with you.
I don't know.
I think Ed Sheeran is a better singer.
I think Mateo is a more talented entertainer.
Mateo can do more things in entertainment than Ed can,
but with that one thing
that making music and singing,
I don't know if anybody
fucks with Ed.
Ed plays the guitar.
He plays a bunch of instruments.
He plays the guitar.
He could do the drums.
He raps too.
He's a super talented musician,
great songwriter.
I just think Mateo,
you know what I mean?
I'd like to see them
have a singing contest.
See them duke it out,
you know what I mean?
Yeah.
But fuck it out.
Yeah.
That's a good point you're basically saying
that the devil was like
censored like Trump
off Twitter
he can't say anything
we don't even know
what he's about to say
yes bro
we don't even know
what he has to say
we don't know
how he feels about anything
he got deplatformed
couldn't even be him
it was like bro
I didn't even
it wasn't even me
it was like this dude
he's got an alibi
exactly
he's the Alex Jones
of the bible
he's misunderstood
devil's misunderstood
I think
because we haven't even asked him.
Yes.
Why are we not asking him?
Well, how do you even get in touch with him?
God never did anything wrong.
Every other Indian got six arms.
Mistakes are made, bruv.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Why is that a bad thing?
I don't know.
But I'm just saying every once in a while you see a kid with a fucking palm coming out of his forehead.
You're like, okay, maybe.
You don't think that should come in handy sometimes?
Say again?
Handy?
I'm just saying, sometimes
there are mistakes made. Maybe the mistake
was made with the devil. Yeah. Right?
They make him look all crazy, Native American.
You're saying they gotta squash the beef.
What? You want them to squash the beef?
But they got him looking Native American.
Why has the devil gotta be so Native looking?
Why is he Native?
The skin tone.
I'm just...
Come on, guys.
Do you think they're red?
Why do you think they're red?
Say again?
Did you watch Peter Pan or something?
No, Native Americans, I think they're red.
I think that other people thought they were red,
and then they made me believe that in them.
Okay.
They're not red.
Native Americans don't have a more red skin. No, they're like... He's not brown. Yeah, they're brown. Asians aren't yellow. We're not red. Native Americans don't have a more red skin.
He's not brown.
Asians aren't yellow. We're not white.
But we just go to the closest one. Al's not black.
Al's black.
He's not black.
I know, right?
I kind of heard a little bit.
I kind of heard.
I'll be honest.
Alkosh is blacker bro
Can we exercise you?
We need to exercise you bro
Say again?
We gotta exercise this demon
How do you get the devil out of me?
There's a demon in you bro
How do you get the devil out of me?
With a little you know
Someone gotta suck it off
You can start with those shoes
The devil made me wear these?
The devil wanted me to be comfy?
Yeah the devil wears Crocs bro
The devil made me want to be comfy
you really think
come on son
that's not true Al
look at your shoes
so take those off bro
yo look at your shoes
nah take those off
how many different animals
you got in your shoes
take those off
your shoes dress like a bitch
at essence fest
that's no one's art bro
that's crazy
yo
yo
come on Al let's not talk shit about fucking shoes right now That's no one's art, bro. That's very good. Come on, Al.
Let's not talk shit about fucking shoes right now.
Wearing three different fucking animals on their feet.
Come on, bro.
Bro.
Come on, bro.
All I'm trying to say is I think we got to talk to the devil.
And let's just ask him how he feels about this whole shit.
What if he's out there like, fam, y' put the lgbtq plus on me all them are
coming down here when they die i got nothing to say to him yeah i gotta put them somewhere else
i don't want to be around that you know what i mean like what if he's saying that
what if he's saying that you know what i mean what if he's saying that what if though yeah what
if listen you don't know bro yeah can we talk about someone that's hating? Why is Trump trying to kill all the drug dealers?
Do you see this? Bro,
Trump is a square.
A lot of people don't know that. Like, dude doesn't drink.
Dude doesn't do drugs.
Does he have a hose?
This is fire, though. He said give drug
dealers the death penalty, which is fire,
especially if he wants to kill them fucking pharmaceutical
people. Well, if he
keeps the same energy.
Keep that same energy, I'm so in.
Everybody who sells drugs?
I'm so in.
That's it.
Pharmaceutical?
Because they'd be pushing it.
They don't just sell it.
Dude, there was a lawsuit.
Some company had to pay like $4 billion because they were openly,
like there's internal memos of them being like,
yo, shove opiates on everybody.
This is a new one.
It's called TIVA.
Yeah, $4.5 billion lawsuit.
We got to get in the game. We got to get in the game.
We got to get in the pharmaceutical game.
Start selling opiates or something.
100% dude.
How hard is it to do that?
We do it.
Blue Chew, bro.
We've been pushing these pharmaceuticals for a minute.
That's a good point.
Not all pharmaceuticals are bad.
Yeah, yeah.
Keeps?
Yo, Keeps?
I'm half pharmaceutical.
I'm half pharmaceutical.
I'm a pharmaceutical maven when you think about it.
Keeps hair going crazy,
blue chew, dick out here, full mass.
You know what I mean?
Like, think about what pharmaceuticals have done for me.
Diet smoke.
I diet smoke.
I keep it nice and easy.
This sounds like a plug.
It's not a plug.
Botox.
Botox?
I need to get tox up again.
I was looking at my forehead.
I was like,
God damn, bro.
This shit look like the Himalayas.
I got the topographical
on my fucking head.
Your head look like your shoes.
That was crazy.
Come on, bro.
This is me on Rogan
for like three and a half hours.
My whole shit wrinkled as hell bro
Come on
Oh that's good
Those crow's feet
You call those crow's feet
Okay
That's good
Fuck you Al
Don't be saying that's good
When no one laughed
Hey hey
That was good Al
That thing that made
None of us laugh
Or none of us
Even paid attention to
Respect
Respect
Shut up
Shut up Al You up, Al.
You got women's shoes on.
We got to acknowledge hate.
Acknowledge hate.
Six fucking Jordans on us, son.
We got to acknowledge hate.
Bro, your ball sack is hanging out.
Hold this.
Sam.
Fix it.
My balls are getting big, bro.
I'm not lying, bro.
Bro, that's me.
Something happened to me, son.
My balls are getting big.
Really?
I think they've grown minimum 50%.
That's not good at all.
At first, I was like, is my dick getting smaller as I age?
And then I realized, I think my balls are swelling so much
that the background of my dick is just so much bigger than it used to be.
So now I'm beating off nightly because my wife away.
So I'm beating off nightly so I can shrink the background
so my dick looks as huge as it used to be.
What?
My balls were getting crazy, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
It was absurd, bro.
Like inflated or the nut itself was getting big?
I think both of them.
Oh, really?
I think both of them.
How's the nut been, every jerk?
Good volume on the nut? Yeah. I think both of them. Oh, really? I think both of them. How's it not been, every jerk? Say again?
Good volume on the nut?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not like explosion, not like crazy?
No, no, but I still leave the dick.
I don't dribble.
My money don't dribble, dribble.
My company don't dribble, dribble.
It explodes.
No, but yeah, I'm actually shooting.
I'm projectiling.
That's crazy.
Hey, geez up.
I remember you told me that story one time where you were laying on your side and your balls were just hanging out the back, just like resting over.
Yeah, like a pit bull.
Like a pit bull or like a towel on like a rack or some shit.
And I've thought about that all the time because I don't understand how that's possible.
My dick was forward.
My balls were hanging back just like a dog's.
But it wasn't uncomfortable for you.
Say again?
It wasn't uncomfortable.
Life is uncomfortable.
What do you mean it wasn't uncomfortable?
Life is uncomfortable.
You're on your side?
He's like that.
He's like that.
Dick hanging out the front.
This is a story that was told to me.
Balls hanging out the back, bro.
But like hanging down, just like sitting on the couch.
On like a hot summer day and shit like that.
You get a little extra stretch.
Also, my balls don't hang like this.
My balls are that way. It's rotating it's rotating my balls are rotating 90 degrees
yeah i have 90 degree balls so one balls in front one balls in back it's like a fidget spinner
that's just when you're generating energy bro that's wild you can power all of new york city
i'm just saying it is a it is a very experience. It's a very different experience for most people.
That's wild. Would you ever go to a nudist
colony? Say again? I've gone to nude beaches
before. No, no, not a beach, a colony.
Would you ever colonize?
Colony is a weird word. Dude, why do they use colony?
Because it's all white people there, bro.
Oh! Dude, I would
go there when I was like younger. There's a nude beach
on Fire Island at the end of the beach.
That shit is wild perverted
of them.
All these grown-ups
having their dang-a-langs
out around me
and I'm just like
this little kid.
Yeah, but you went there.
Say again?
Yeah, why were you there?
Why were they naked?
You know what I mean?
I was there too.
That is kind of weird.
It is weird, right?
Yeah, it is a little weird.
There should be an ID
or something.
I don't see no old people's dicks.
But why were you there as a child?
Because I heard there was pussies out, bro.
Okay.
It wasn't the internet.
You grew up with the internet.
You could Google pussy.
Yeah.
Not me, bro.
I had to walk down the beach until I seen some damn bitch.
Just look in the water?
No, bro.
Is that a dolphin?
No.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
That's a bug.
Yeah, for real, bro.
I would see these old women.
And also some men.
And you'd unfortunately see guys, yeah.
Damn.
But seeing dicks, I guess, no, that's not that bad.
Nudity you see as a child.
How old were you?
I don't know.
Probably middle school.
Okay.
Maybe around that.
Wow.
Yeah, middle school.
And you were just venturing to the beat alone or with friends?
With friends.
You and your boys.
Dude, me and my boys would watch porn together.
That's just such a weird thing.
Word?
We would do it every day after school.
Every day after school.
I think I've told this story.
Every day after school, we would watch the porn together.
Every day?
Yeah, we came back to my house.
And then you came back to my house? Every day is crazy. Literally, every day after school we would watch the porn together every day yeah we came back to my house and then you came back to my house every day is crazy literally every day after school we come us
was watching like trl and 106 at park is showing y'all were gay yeah bbc what me and my boys did
is we my mom got the whole internet package i told y'all this story before i still remember
this is like classic immigrant shit like you finally get your money and you're like fuck it
i want all the channels so So she got the whole,
every channel that existed.
She just got it.
Yeah.
And there was some porn channels on there.
We would all go back.
We were in fucking high school.
Me and all the boys,
Jameel,
Evan,
Spice,
Laurent,
Spice,
Playboy,
6566.
Spice and Playboy?
She just said,
give me all of it.
She thought it was a cooking channel.
She didn't understand.
Exactly.
She's Scottish. She doesn't know. She had no clue. So yeah, we would just of it. She thought it was a cooking channel. She didn't understand. Exactly. She's Scottish.
She doesn't know.
She had no clue.
So yeah, we would just watch it.
She's Scottish.
She ain't got no interest in spice.
I'm telling you that.
I'm just saying she's not going to look too far into it because she wouldn't be watching it for cooking recipes.
You know what I mean?
And we would just watch porn every single day after school together.
All of us.
Girls squirting like crazy.
And then go to the beach and be like.
No, no, no.
We didn't have a beach in the city.
This is in the East Village. We were just there. And then we to the beach and be like... No, no, no. We didn't have a beach in the city. This is in the East Village.
We were just there, and then we watched the porn.
And then my mom found out because it was reflecting off of the window in my room.
And then she got rid of them channels real quick.
But yeah, we watched porn together.
She bust in, fucking ruin all y'all fun?
No, not at all.
That's weird.
I grew up in a sexual household.
That's weird.
I grew up in a sexual household.
Yeah.
Long dick Larry.
Just a bunch of dudes
just hard watching porn bro
just sitting there
I don't know if they were hard
that's the straightest thing
you've said so far
that's dope
yeah I don't know
if they were hard
he's not peeking on them
he's not seeing the bulge
in the track
I mean you go to the strip club
with your boys right
we're not hard at the strip club
what
we're not hard at the strip club
what
why
I don't get hard at the strip club.
You don't get a dance and then get hard?
What?
Maybe if you get a lap dance.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe?
Yeah.
I'm with you, bro.
I'm with you, man.
It's not that serious, bro.
I'm just thinking about my girl the whole time.
Hi, nurse.
I'm saying hi, bro.
Yeah, dude.
If she could get a billion dollars.
I said a hundred billion.
A hundred billion.
Okay?
Chill.
Nah, bro. You can't have anybody smash your girl once she's your girl.
That's crazy, dude.
But being bricked up at a strip club, I think is normal.
I don't understand why Al's refusing this.
Yeah.
Do you think you're better than getting a boner at a strip club?
Yeah.
It's disgusting.
It's above.
I'm above that.
Really?
Yeah.
I couldn't get one
during a lap dance once
was that demoralizing
for her I think
like I felt bad
I was like
literally feeling guilty
I was like
please get hard
like just so that
she could feel like
she was doing something
to me
I swear to God
and I know that's
maybe stupid
but I did really feel bad
this girl
she was like
grinding on it so hard.
She was asking me, do you like this?
Is everything okay?
Is everything okay?
I'm in a strip club, so no.
I'm not in a good place right now, man.
But yeah, I bring up the nude beach thing because on this recent podcast, The Pivot,
Kevin Hart goes on.
And they talk about him and his wife going to a new beach together.
So me and my wife go to a nudist colony.
Just Channing Crowder.
Once a year, we go to a nudist
colony. What's going on?
We go to a place where
you walk in and everybody just gets
naked and walks around.
I didn't know if you knew this.
I'm just asking you what's going on.
So we go to the nudist colony.
You gotta shave everything and show out. And especially when you shave I'm just asking you what's going on. Okay, yeah, so we go to the nudist colony, and we just kind of go around.
You got to shave everything and show out,
and especially when you shave your shit, it looks bigger
because you gain inches from no hair.
Back up for a second.
I just want to get clarity.
Y'all just hanging out.
Y'all fucking these people.
No, no, there are swingers there,
but you set the precedent.
I get that.
I don't know why
you're not listening to me.
I want to hear you.
That's great.
So y'all get down,
is what you're saying.
It's kind of the question,
but we don't get down,
but we just like to be around
naked people together.
You see what I'm doing, bro?
I'm out of here.
Hey, that's y'all's conversation. I'm in the ring. Happy to hear it here. Hey, that's your all-too-good conversation.
I'm enjoying it.
Happy day.
So, nudist colony with your girl.
That seems, I don't know.
I'm kind of with Kev.
I don't know about that.
Yeah, yeah, it's wild.
You know what that is?
That is big dick energy.
That's reminding your wife what everybody else is packing.
Look at all these little ass men.
I'm the NFL linebacker.
Go ahead and see what else is out there.
The biggest fucking dick, babe. Yeah. And I want you to see what else is out there. The biggest fucking dick, babe.
And I want you to see what else is out there, and it's not touching me.
Hey, let's go to the place where the guys get naked.
You see that?
And then he's like, there's some pussies that look like yours.
Them pussies look kind of similar to yours.
Isn't that interesting how y'all got the same pussy as all those other women right there?
So there's other pussies out there for me, but you can't get this.
This is a problem solver.
5'4", Kevin Hart, can't understand it.
Neither can we.
But if you're a fucking NFL linebacker, you got it.
Hey, go show what else is out there.
Yup.
I want to see his dick, bro.
I got to see it now.
Let's go to the colony, bro.
Where's the colony at? i'm going to the colony bro
with a prosthetic i'm going there with the oscar pastoreus add-on bro why is your dick metal
it is what it is i'm just saying i need to see what he's working with where that's a fun thing
yeah that's how competitive he is bro. And he shaves it down.
You don't got to shave.
Ain't no rules at a naked place.
That's a couple of inches.
How much hair you got, Doug?
Yeah.
Bro, that's a bush, man.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Bush man.
Whoa.
The bush man.
That's a bush man right there.
Yeah, dude.
That guy, what's the guy's name again?
Channing Crowder.
Channing Crowder has the biggest dick in America.
Yeah, it's got to be.
Greg Oden shit.
Son, can we Google to see if he has like a leaked nude?
Please do.
I don't think he does, but I will Google.
Are you sure?
Why is this good?
Channing Crowder cock.
Okay.
Let's get a literate of what it is.
This is science.
Frank Potter cock.
Okay.
Let's get a literate of what he's saying. This is science.
Yeah, unfortunately, there's no image, it seems like.
Oh, God.
Can you look up to see if there's like seeing him in like a workout attire or something like that?
Because, again, he's confident in his soft dick, which is very interesting.
That's also crazy, dude.
Exactly.
So he might not be a grower, but his soft, his soft is.
Maybe it's too big to grow.
Like maybe he can barely even get hard.
Yeah.
I don't know how it works.
It takes so much blood.
I need to see it.
Because, yeah.
No, he could have, he could have the semolina, bro.
What's the semolina?
The bread, bro.
He got the big old bread stick down there, man.
I mean, that's crazy.
I remember the first time I went to a topless beach in France when I was like 12.
Yeah.
And I saw titties for the first time in like fifth grade.
And my mom never gave me any heads up.
So like we're just walking out of the beach.
Your mom was topless?
No.
Wait, wait, wait.
No.
No one in my family was.
This is weirder than Channing Crowley.
She didn't say that?
No one in my family was.
We were walking down and then she just turns to me and is like, hey, by the way, there's titties on Crowley. She didn't say that? This is what my family was. We were walking down,
and then she just turns to me
and is like,
hey, by the way,
there's titties on the beach.
I don't think she said that.
Yeah.
Literally how she said it.
She looked at me,
and she was like,
there's titties out here.
Okay, and then what happened?
And then I walked down
to the beach,
and there was titties everywhere.
Was it just fire, dude?
It was unbelievable.
I couldn't believe it.
I went from never seeing
titties in my life
to seeing dozens.
But French tits aren't big.
Bro.
There could be people visiting.
This is Marseille.
There was titties
from all over the world.
That's the thing.
Global titties.
Global, yeah.
But a French tit
never gets that big.
And it has more of like the...
Tits are natural.
Yeah, it's also just
in them,
their titties don't grow big.
Yo, fuck that
topless beach shit, bro.
Why?
There's a lot of that
in Barcelona, bro.
What do you mean?
We went to the beach. You fell insecure with your titties? I mean, bro. Why? There's a lot of that in Barcelona, bro. What do you mean? What? We went to the beach. You felt insecure with your titties?
I mean, yeah. So we went
to the beach and she's like, oh, finally I can
take my top off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You didn't even take
her top off? Nah, she did.
But I'm like, those are my titties.
Fuck that shit.
Talk that shit, my boy.
Talk that shit, my boy my boy talk that shit my boy
nah you just gotta
top or take your pants off
you know what I mean
I think you just gotta
you gotta
you gotta go one above
you got that Trump card
you got that Crowder
I could've
yeah bust it out
would've been a black eel
in that one
yeah why not
Al always talks about
how big his dick is
every time we bring it up
like even if it's in passing
like our guys was like
yeah none of us know
what that guy's dick is
like Al's like
some of us do.
Bro,
what are you trying
to prove, dog?
What are you trying
to prove?
Do you think
you really got,
you got a blammer?
If you're black,
you gotta say
you got a big dick.
I've gone to a new dick.
You have to, right?
You have to.
You can't say
I got an average dick.
Remember Austin?
Oh,
you might not have been
here that episode.
Yeah.
Patreon Austin was saying
like,
I got an average sized dick
but I'm a black dude.
Oh,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
That's,
that's,
that's a tragedy. Yeah. But most people got average but I'm a black dude. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a tragedy.
Yeah.
But most people got average dicks, even black dudes.
Yeah, that's true.
It is average.
Yeah.
It's an average.
I went to a nude beach.
And?
That was good.
Big dick.
That was good.
Good.
When you go pee and you're looking at the other guys at the urinal, do you ever feel like—
I never do that.
What?
What do you mean?
every time
every time I pee in a urinal
every time
this is what I do, every time I'm like that
and I just hit it one boom boom
you go across the street?
across the street, bang bang
I hit both sides and then if I'm like
a little engorged for whatever reason
like if I've just
been on the flight
and I didn't want to
pee the whole time
my shit bad
I'm moonwalked
son
everybody gonna see this
this is my dick on soft
hey guys
this is my dick on soft
y'all better scoot up
I seen what you're
working with
I seen them little
mushrooms
what do they say
why are your balls
so big on TV
that's crazy
I just let it sit
on the balls now.
I don't give a fuck.
Oh, really?
I don't give a fuck.
You don't even hold it?
Unzip, pop, straight out.
Wow.
Yup.
That's insane.
Yeah, 100%.
You need to get your balls checked.
I do need to get my balls checked.
I felt that today.
I felt that today.
Close your legs.
I can't close them.
It is painful for me
to close my legs.
It is painful for me to close my legs It is painful for me to close my legs
It is dangerous
If I close my legs on this podcast right now
I'm not joking, I'm being serious
I've done a lot of different things to try to get them down bro
Something's growing
It's like
Avocado seeds
Avocado seeds in here dude
I got testicle cancer
Don't put that on me dog
don't put that on me
that's dangerous
you keep talking about
how swollen your balls are
what you want from me
I don't know
just a little quick diagnosis
yeah help me with
something else
besides cancer dude
yeah
what else could it be
Indians are good at healing
you're a mystical people
you don't think
you could fix him
that's the other Indians dog
oh okay
yeah you guys are mystical
yeah
you guys can do things
you have powers
listen man
I would love to.
We got medical powers.
So go see a doctor.
Exactly.
Yeah.
We'll go treat that shit with some modern medicine.
You know, it is a coincidence that Columbus, like, was looking for Indians.
Yeah.
And then just found, like, some other browns.
Do you know what I mean?
If he landed in Sweden, he couldn't be like, India.
Right?
Because if you brought him back, he'd be like, nah, bro.
But the ocean trip would be so quick.
He'd be like, it's just right here.
Is it even an ocean trip?
Where, where, where, where?
From Spain to...
To Sweden?
Wherever he was going to Sweden, yeah.
No, no, he was going to America.
I know, but I'm saying if he landed in Sweden, it'd be like,
this clearly ain't...
I'm in the same ass place.
I'm Europe in Europe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wait, what do you mean?
I don't get it.
He's saying the trip would have been short enough that he's like, oh, I'm definitely not there.
The trip would have been so short that he'd be like, okay, I didn't go far enough to be in India.
Any far ocean trip, people would have been a different color.
Yeah, but people don't know how far shit is.
Remember, they didn't have a globe back then.
He was just like, I'm going to go this way, and I think it's just going to wrap around, and I'll get to India.
Okay.
Do you know what happened back in the day?
Yeah, I know.
But I'm just saying, you have some idea.
This is way too short of a trip.
It's taken mad days.
You know what days are.
You don't know what hours are.
You don't have a clock, but you see sunset, sunrises.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
But you don't know how far shit takes because you don't have a globe, bro.
That shit could be down a block.
Do you guys not get this at all?
That's a good point.
I guess, yeah, before maps.
You don't know how far India is the other way.
But there's others.
People are taking other boat trips.
There's other sailors.
They wasn't going this way
because it was the end of the earth.
And they were scared.
And Columbus was like, nah, bro, I got a wife.
I got to get rid of her.
I'll be back, babe.
I'm going to go to the end of the earth.
For real. Oh, OK. I'm just saying. This is history. going to go to the end of the earth. For real.
Okay.
I'm just saying.
This is history.
This is how shit worked back in the day.
Go get a physical, dude.
Jesus.
My shit's just crazy right now.
When was the last time you got a physical?
I don't believe in it.
How?
They just literally check out your body?
They'll literally cup your balls.
They do that shit like this.
It's kind of a lot.
Is there something in your pocket?
I don't understand what's going on.
That?
That's your ball?
Why is it crinkling?
No, no. My dick, dude.
Why is it all crinkling?
What's wrong?
Why is it all crinkling?
What's happening?
It's my dick, bro.
I can't just hold my dick like that.
Son, come on.
What's that noise in there?
This is worse than a game board.
I was on the phone.
I can't just enjoy my dick. Oh, my God. That's son. Yeah, son. What's that noise in there? This is worse than a game board. I can't just enjoy my dick.
What's wrong?
What's wrong with that?
Yo, get your man, bro.
Come on, bro.
Your boy's hiding a LaCroix, son.
I can't hide a LaCroix?
Yeah, bro.
Exactly, dude.
That's me, dude.
That's me.
Just some light, you know what I mean?
Al, Al, let's see whose dick is bigger soft.
Hey, hey, hey, big dick Al.
Dick off, dick off, dick off.
Let's see whose dick is bigger soft, Al.
We at the new beach.
Whose dick is bigger soft?
You won, you won, you won.
I'm just saying.
You're going to blame it on the pants.
Oh, my dick looks small in these pants.
It's the material in the pants.
I mean, it's the material.
Go get a physical immediately.
I got to get a physical, bro, for real.
That shit is crazy.
No, that shit was my...
He's like, thank God!
Thank God!
No, I didn't want to be looking at your dick.
Now, you look mad times because you was trying to measure it up.
You were trying to see if you beat me, and you knew when you thought that was my dick, you knew I had you soft.
You knew I had you soft, and there was nothing you could do about it.
You knew I had you soft.
Admit, no, no, no, just admit on the podcast right now, when I was using my AirPods as my dick, admit I had you soft. Admit, just admit on the podcast right now when I was using my AirPods
as my dick, admit
I had you soft. I had you soft
by inches.
Indisputable.
He was like, please
stop. Your dick was shriveling
up, bro.
It is shriveled.
When I hit that,
that was crazy right there
but when I did that
and I had
I put the airpods
on the end
this is you
what
this is your bed
yo the big old dick bro
you my man
with the average size dick
right now
you can't admit it
you can't just admit it
when I was faking my dick
and you thought it was soft
you can't admit
this guy is crazy bro
he can't even admit
that I have a bigger fake dick than him, bro.
What's wrong with you?
This is toxic masculinity, bro.
You can't admit my fake dick
is bigger than yours, son.
What's wrong with this guy, son?
You couldn't take your eyes off it.
You was trying to do the math.
You were like, nah, maybe it's the lighting.
Maybe it's...
You were in relief when he found out it was air fryer?
Yeah, he was like, oh, thank God.
I thought it was your ball.
Just be honest.
Looking all big.
Just why can't he be honest?
I thought it was your ball.
He's sweating, bro.
You are sweating right now.
I am sweating.
You came wet.
You came wet.
Why is your forehead so lubricated now?
Yo, real talk.
At the thought of my fucking fake dick,
which you thought was real,
and it was on soft,
and I was holding it there,
and just admit,
son, I really thought it was your balls,
and I was like, yo,
you actually might have a problem.
And then when I showed you,
it wasn't because it came down here
and it was dick.
I thought you had a problem.
No, when you thought it was dick.
Yeah, your dick is bigger than his.
That's the problem.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We got a problem.
We got a problem.
For real.
You were having him question everything. The white dick was bigger than his. That's it. Everything, man. We got a problem. We got a problem. For real. You were having him question everything.
The white dick was bigger than his.
That's it.
Everything, man.
We just saw it all right there.
That's so weird.
You're a little dick black.
She gets triggered by this.
She gets triggered by this.
You are, bro.
Were you talking to me or Al?
For real, because we were talking to me.
I was about to get so complimented, bro.
Thank you.
That would've been
The nicest thing
You ever said to me
Are you kidding me
That's a compliment
That's so sweet of you
That's a compliment
Was it my birthday
Nah for real man
Get a physical
I need to get a physical bro
Also that's a free dick touch
Well there's a copay
God damn
What Schedule him for that Yeah Schedule him You fucking schedule him also that's a free dick touch well there's a copay ah Dove what
schedule him for that
yeah
schedule him
you fucking schedule him
stupid
grab his dick
stupid
why do you get so angry
I don't know right
come on
don't you schedule stuff
why are you so angry at that
what does he do
what do you do
I'm saying
don't you do that what does he do Dove got so angry at that, Dump. What does he do? What do you do? I'm saying, don't you do that.
Dump got so angry
at the idea that you
could help with my health.
Why can't you help with my health, bro?
I helped you. As a friend. I got this
confession to make.
What is that shit called? You've got pussy parts, bro.
Foo Fighters, right? I got this confession to make.
I got this confession to make.
I got another confession to make.
To you, my friends.
Yeah.
You're a little dick, black guy.
Thank you.
Fuck.
Guys.
Anyway, Al's ego is crazy.
Yeah.
You have the biggest ego I've ever seen in my entire life.
Not the biggest dick.
Yeah.
But the biggest ego.
The fact that you still can't acknowledge that a fake dick.
I wasn't looking at your dick.
This guy is unbelievable.
This guy is truly unbelievable.
What do we do?
I wasn't looking at your dick.
Hey, what do we do?
Hey, everybody at home.
What do we do?
What do we do with Al, who can't acknowledge that he looked at my dick, even though he's like,
he said, you have to get that checked out because that looks crazy.
And then just said right now, I don't look at your dick.
So that's number one.
And two, you can't acknowledge that my fake dick that I was holding eight inches soft,
my eight inches soft dick.
Look at that.
Is that bigger or smaller than yours? I'll be honest. It. My eight inches soft dick. Look at that. Is that bigger or smaller
than yours?
I'll be honest.
It got me by a little bit.
Yo, what is that?
Yo, what is that machine, son?
What is that machine?
Hold on, hold on.
What's the deal with that?
Yo, I need Seinfeld
talking about that thing
right there.
Yo, this one or this one?
Yo, both of them are crazy.
Both of them is crazy.
I mean, this one.
I mean, that's crazy.
That's not too bad.
But look how little that guy's balls were.
That's just weird.
His ball sack is crazy little, son.
You can't talk about little.
You don't even know what little is anymore.
Your ball sack is so solid.
No, my ball sack looks just, whoa, that shit was way too deep in his butthole, fam.
Why he got a reverse necktie?
Did you see that shit?
That was disgusting what I just saw.
I think that's a gay dude's sex toy.
Ugh.
Yo.
Ugh.
That was disgusting, bro.
Hold on, man.
What is going on?
That's prevention.
If you're not trying to spread monkeypox.
Oh, my God.
If you don't want to get it, then're just like yo let me just do this.
Whoever's listening on the audio just turn
on the video right now because
that was crazy what we just saw.
Yo I just looked at my cock
again dude. Stop.
You gotta stop looking at Scott. You're not in the bathroom.
You look at my cock bro. When you're in the bathroom you can look.
That's free reign but now you can't. You need to stop.
Again you just looked at my fucking car, dude.
You're a car speaker.
Dude.
Okay.
Yo, he did it.
I caught that guy.
Yo, he literally.
Yes, thank you.
Thank you.
Look all you want now.
Now you can look.
Now you can look.
Bro.
Ow.
Yo, dude.
For real, Al.
Al.
You got to chill.
Okay. Wrap this up. I'm leaving. Yo, Al Al, you got to chill.
Wrap this up.
I'm leaving.
Yo, Al, you literally got to chill out, dude.
Because it's crazy.
Yo, it's crazy. Yo, hands on my knees.
Yo, wait, really?
Oh, my God.
Until you came, Drew.
Hands on my knees and the feet on my fuck shit.
Hey, send up the shop.
Oh, my God. This has been a great episode, guys. Hey, send up Luke Sharp. Oh my God.
This has been a great episode, guys.
Bro, this has been another episode of Flagrant, man.
You know what I mean?
Al just looked out of the corner of his eye, dude.
That was...
Can you just look that way?
I have.
Now I got it.
Just look that way.
Don't look at me.
Don't look at me and look at this fat cock.
Don't look at me. Don't look at me and look at this fat cock. Don't look at this fat cock.
Dude.
Okay?
With your crazy ego.
This guy.
He will not admit it.
I literally held it and I rolled it out.
I hit you with the rolling pin bro
i hit you with that come on we just making them little croissants the travel croissants
yo i got the little rolling pin for the travel croissants bro
and you could not acknowledge it man i had that Ratatouille fucking rolling pin, and you could not acknowledge it.
Oh, God.
God, ego is...
Is that the devil?
Yeah, that's why the devil got sent to hell, is because his dick was so big.
Really?
He wouldn't acknowledge God's dick was bigger.
Yes.
That's why he got sent to hell.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, dude.
God got crazy meat probably, dude.
Oh, my God, dude. He created the world, probably, dude. Oh, my God, dude.
He created the world.
His nut is the earth.
Facts, bro.
His nut is the universe.
Facts, bro.
How about the size of that dick, dude?
Monster.
You think you got God?
He might got me.
He might.
So you admit that a white guy is a bigger dick?
Thank you.
God is black. Thank you. We got thank you i'm just saying god is black okay listen we have to stop this podcast yeah um um
eye contact now boy eye contact yeah Eye contact, Al. What? Eye contact. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly, dude.
Listen, you get nail polished one episode.
Next episode, you're just gazing at cocks.
Hurston.
Yeah, Al. Okay.
Listen, guys, thank you guys so much.
And also, if any of you guys are medical professionals or
stickurologists or whatever it is, please.
Stick urologists.
What is it called?
To stick urologists.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Urologists.
To stick urologists.
Urologists?
Urologists.
Oh, what are the people that do the, they find the dinosaurs?
I thought they're urologists.
No, that's an archaeologist.
Huh?
Paleontologist.
Oh, then what's an archaeologist?
They're looking for the brush.
Ruins.
That's ruins.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
You said the brush, bro.
What?
You big dick dummy.
It is facts.
You know what I mean?
Right now?
Yeah.
What are they going to say when they look at your fossils at the end of time?
Well, that's the thing.
I'm like, yo, I can have either one check my shit out.
You know what I mean? We're looking at bones end of time well that's the thing i'm like yo i can have either one check my shit out you know what i mean we're looking at bones aren't we you know what i'm saying doc come on over here paleontologist
british rap is fire al's dick is mid
like this dick game or the dick itself?
Nah, his dick game I think is crazy.
Okay.
I think your dick game crazy.
I'm not going to lie.
I think your dick game is absolutely crazy.
I think you know how to clap cheeks, bro.
I think on top you're garbage.
Even though you're built like Madison Cawthorn.
Yo!
Yo! Yo! Yo? Yo! Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! cheeks with the motherfucking best of them. Al, am I right or wrong? That's so funny.
Holy fuck.
I want to know how.
You got to look at the specific video I'm talking about.
He gave up.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
So this has been an episode of Flagrant.
The politician in the wheelchair.
Oh, okay.
And he got caught playing games with his mans where he was trying to fuck his mans.
The mandem.
The mandem.
He was trying to fuck the mandem, bro.
Madison Carter.
Yeah, stop him up.
Yeah, stop him up.
Put the skang in him.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Listen, we got to
stop the episode, bro.
Yes, please.
So everybody chill the fuck out.
One time,
one time,
for Al,
the ultimate
cheek clapper.
No.
Really?
You're not? No. Really? You're not?
No.
Really?
We're all like taking men here.
No, he's saying you're good at sex.
That's it.
Oh.
Yeah, I think you're good at clapping cheeks, bro.
Yo, that seemed crazy suspicious.
I thought you were saying something else.
You're like, no.
No, we're all faithful here, right?
Did you micro those mushrooms before this?
What's going on?
I've been in this spit cycle for a while.
Y'all understand.
This was the extended spit cycle.
Y'all were like, man.
Throw the towel.
It's been like 30 minutes.
No, but for real
This is hard to watch
Yo for real
Al's not used to things this long
Let me just readjust the mandem
Hold on
Yo
Al's just wearing it bro
Call the fight
Yo we gotta call the fight
Should I
Alright listen
On the ropes
Should I take my mandem
Out the boxers
But then
Put them like around
So I can get a good flap
Alright guys We'll see you guys then put them like around so I can get a good flap.
All right, guys,
uh,
we'll see you guys another time.
Okay.
That's bye.