Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Lil Dicky On Kanye West Jew Comments, Theo Von Joke Controversy, & Meeting Drake
Episode Date: January 31, 2024Yerrrr, we got Dave "Lil Dicky" Burd on Flagrant to discuss his most recent album, how much he's spending on his music videos and what it's like to work with Brad Pitt on his latest season of Dave. IN...DULGE 00:00 Intro 00:39 Ice Hockey jerseys are fire 02:05 NY experiences + Amalfi is one-dimensional 07:07 “HAHAHA” music video cost a $ milly 10:46 Creative control is paramount 13:58 Is Dave coming back? 16:21 Brad Pitt is just a dream 31:33 Dave is Brady or Kobe?? 37:29 Hardest lesson from creating Dave 47:35 Dave has great taste 53:07 Dave is writing a movie 57:43 How Lil Dicky got started in rap + rival to Lonely Island 1:06:35 Andrew’s “notes” + other rap names 1:09:13 How rappers freestyle + Lil Dicky's Sway performances 1:12:00 Freezing during Emmy’s performance 1:16:17 Stand-up comedy + special in the works? 1:19:27 Concert performances going wrong 1:21:22 Dealing with criticism + supreme confidence 1:27:06 Theo Von joke controversy 1:32:44 Regretting previous wild lines 1:34:31 Meeting Drake while high 1:35:36 Sending DJ Khaled the worst text for “Freaky Friday” 1:39:25 Sus Shower scene + show us your D! 1:45:34 Dave’s pee pee issues 1:49:49 Girlfriend accepting + one girl noticing 1:52:14 Oozing + straightening + no-hands??? 1:55:55 3 best Wet Dreams ever + Plan B trust 2:02:51 Kanye can hoop + Ye isn’t antisemitic but a contrarian? 2:06:36 Drake v Kanye - both inspirational 2:08:20 How to approach mega celebs?
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I was in the studio with Kanye.
Already I'm like, this is the best day of my life.
And then Drake walked in.
So I know you're a huge fan of Kanye West.
Oh yeah.
You've heard about this whole anti-Semitism thing you've been talking about?
What?
How much was the music video for Ha Ha Ha?
Oh my god.
I spent like a million dollars.
Do we get more Dave or no?
Me and Benny act that way.
This guy's my best friend.
We're just talking.
Naked in the shower.
Who's bigger?
Him.
My dick looks like a raisin.
There was that stuff with EO on. He was upset. How do you deal with stuff like that? Him. My dick looks like a razor. There was that stuff
with EO on.
He was upset.
How do you deal
with stuff like that?
I'm happy that you
brought that up.
What I crave deep down
is like the undeniable
love and respect
of everyone on earth.
I crave deep down.
I literally thought
it was going to be like
just inner peace.
This is the best
form of clothing.
It's very nice.
It's so, it's very,
especially in the wintertime.
It's a hockey jersey.
In the wintertime.
Why?
Why?
I don't know why.
There's something about it. With the drawstrings
or whatever these are, it's just like
I'm so attracted to it. Not sexually.
I just want to only wear
that type of...
Is it versatility or you think it's just cool?
It's that cool. I think hockey
jerseys are the coolest sports jersey
to wear. If I was just wearing a basketball
jersey right now, I would look so sexy. Can I be honest? Underrated is a baseball jersey. the coolest sports jersey to wear. Like, if I was just wearing a basketball jersey right now, it looks like something.
Can I be honest?
Underrated is a baseball jersey.
Yeah, baseball jersey is cool.
Baseball jersey is cool.
Yeah, but it doesn't have the edge.
The long sleeve and then just the breathe, I don't know.
And then now that they have these, like, these necks and the string, it, like, feels like a fashion piece.
Yeah, exactly.
You can, like, accessorize almost.
Yeah.
I don't like when they do the hockey jersey over the hoodie, though.
Like, to me, that feels like it's too juvenile.
It's kind of like college behavior.
And there are some people that are wearing it ironically.
And by some people...
You mean white people.
White people, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's exactly what I meant.
I don't know.
I think I lost my train of thought or something like that,
and then I was drawn to him as a handsome guy.
He never played hockey
a day in his fucking life.
He's French.
That's where he's from.
It's identity.
That's how I know
black people are climbing up
the socioeconomic ladder.
Your hair looks good, by the way.
I just want to point this out.
Like the twists are new or something?
No, I got it re-twisted yesterday.
Thank you.
So it is.
So it's new.
Yeah, re-twisted.
Oh, okay.
It's not new.
I mean, it is.
He's never taken a compliment.
This is new. I think we've started the podcast. Guys, we're here with Dave, everybody. He's never taken a compliment. This is new.
I think we started the podcast.
Guys, we're here with Dave, everybody.
Let's go.
Burned up skin in the building.
Thank you, Dave.
My boy, how are you?
What's going on?
I'm great.
We're in the Big Apple.
I know you guys are used to it.
I'm not.
Every time I come here, I'm like, wow, what a new-
Philly's not far.
You probably came here a lot.
I did, but it just was different.
I actually didn't come that often as a kid.
I would come on school field trips, and then we'd go to Times Square, and I would get hustled out of my money.
That was my experience of New York City.
But coming as an adult man with friends that live here in different areas and pockets, it's just a totally different atmosphere now.
Okay, we won't be offended.
Honest take on New York City.
Well, I don't know that
I could live in New York City.
I knew we were going to get some good.
I don't know that I can. Why not?
Too many Jews? Beyond.
A lot.
I'm just the type of...
I just like space. I think it really
comes down to my desire to have space.
Even this is totally not New York City, and I don't even know why my brain is going to this point, but I just went to the Amalfi Coast this past few weeks.
Listen, let me tell you something.
You're going to be playing Padel in six months.
Never been there.
Seen it in pictures.
Really excited to go to the Amalfi Coast.
I get there.
Have you guys ever been there?
He has.
Oh, my goodness.
I get there.
I hated it.
Where'd you go? Positano? Yeah. I hated it. Where'd you go?
Positano?
Yeah.
I knew it.
You can't go to Positano.
You can't even.
What's a rich combo?
I can't.
I can't run left.
Like, if I can't move, like, more than this amount of wall space left to right.
It's awful, awful, awful.
I'm just, like, I feel trapped.
I feel like there's nothing for me here.
The water is cool, I guess, but I've never liked an ocean view.
I find it very one-dimensional.
One-dimensional?
I never have been like
the beach guy. I live in Venice,
and I live in Venice, LA, and I go to the beach
once every four years.
One-dimensional?
Trees, I'm a forest guy.
I'm actually with you on that.
It's so one-dimensional.
It's so funny.
I've never been a beach view guy. I'm actually with you on that. It's so funny. Hold on.
I've never been a beach view guy.
Is that what you said?
Most expensive real estate in the world.
I've been to plenty of beaches and I go there and I get so bored.
I just sit there and I look and everything is just flat.
There's just no texture.
I would rather be in a situation where like every tree is different looking
and I'm just like.
You want to be in the Bob Ross painting.
I guess.
With the mountains and all that, the trees.
And there's little creatures.
There's woodland creatures you can look at.
Yeah.
There's things you can hike.
It's just, it's so one dimensional.
Yeah, I get that.
And like, you know, beyond being hot and boring,
like what do you do?
You sit there?
Yeah, yeah.
You just sit there.
The beach life is unbelievably boring.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've never liked it.
Anyway, so I went to the Amalfi Coast, and I just felt very constrained as far as being
able to run left and right.
Did you go anywhere else?
Did you leave Positano?
Positano is objectively awful.
I mean, no, I didn't.
It's just a tourist trap.
It's so touristy.
I couldn't believe it.
Every store is for trinkets.
There's no culture, nothing.
It's just trinkets and one road.
Yeah.
And an ocean view.
And like the sand is black.
Anyway, so New York City.
Boo.
Boo.
Boo.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Listen.
You know what I mean?
Black sand sounds fire.
The whole color sand is great.
You know what I mean?
Black sand sounds fire.
The whiter, pinker sand is.
By the way, stay in a hotel.
Stay in a hotel.
And they were like.
The Cyranus.
No, the other one.
Oh, okay.
I can't remember the name of it.
Yeah.
And it was really, there was a lot of things I loved about the hotel.
Yeah, yeah.
It was great service, and I did feel like a little white lotus-y, like, wow, this is really the top of the line hotel.
Yeah.
But they were like, it's the only private beach in Positano.
And I was like, well, great.
At least we have our own beach.
I go to the beach.
Oh, you went to El San Pietro.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just a hunk of concrete. It's like a prison yard. They carve Pietro. Yeah. It's just a hunk of concrete.
It's like a prison yard.
They carve it out of...
Yeah.
I was like,
this can't be the private beach.
It's literally a hunk of...
I don't want to do this,
but you calling Positano Beach
a prison yard
is the whitest thing
I've ever heard in my life.
I feel bad doing that
to the white guy,
but it really left out at me.
Yeah, I understand. You call that a prison yard. But you know what? It is really left out at me. Call that a prison yard.
But you know what? It is, though, Dave.
It is a fucking prison yard.
And sometimes we have to submit ourselves.
And you would know because you've been to prison.
You're from there.
Visited, yeah.
But anyways, New York, there's a lot that I...
I think I would love... I love being here like a week at a time.
And I might even like being here like for a full season.
No way.
Like six to nine weeks of like, you know, I'd love to like figure out something to shoot here.
Yeah.
That like puts me here when like the weather is right, you know?
That is true.
Right?
Fall, fantastic in New York.
Fall in New York is the best.
Fall is the best.
It's a lot of charm.
And just as far as aesthetic, I think a lot of the shows and movies that I see shot in New York just jump out and look better to me is the best. There's a lot of charm. Just as far as aesthetic, I think a lot of the shows
and movies that I see shot in New York
just jump out and look better to me than the shows
that are shot in LA.
There's an energy to it, for sure.
Anyways, I'm happy to be here.
Why are you here?
Actually, I just put out
a soundtrack album called Penis
to my TV show.
I figured I'd make the rounds a little bit.
How much was the music video for Ha Ha Ha?
Oh, my God.
I know I'm counting pockets, but you just said you were on a Malfi show.
A lot of explosions.
Self-financed.
I didn't ask that.
No, it all came out of my pocket.
That's what that means.
You know what self-financing is. In case you didn't know, you paid for it. That's how you know what it's all funny in case you didn't know
what you paid for
that's how you
that's how you know
the money still matters
honestly
it was kind of reckless
I spent like a million dollars
what
yeah
and it was a million
in Lithuania
so a million
wow
I had to go all the way
to Lithuania
to be able to even
afford this video
like if I tried to shoot
this video in LA
it would have cost me
like five million
that's the thing. It looked incredibly
expensive.
Oftentimes, I'm down to
invest in something
that I know can be
a Freaky Friday, huge smash hits.
I knew that this song
couldn't ever beat. It's not designed. It's not
a pop song. It's essentially a four-minute
verse.
You know what I mean?
I love it so much, and
I've always wanted to
make a video like this that didn't rely
on being funny, that was just epic
filmmaking and really
unique things. So I went out to Lithuania.
By the way, great host
country for the event.
How long could you stay there?
I was very charmed by Lithuania.
Many weeks? Maybe a month or two?
It rains every day.
It rains every day.
And it's freezing.
Immediately, by the way, once I finished
that video, I immediately got bronchitis.
I couldn't even move. Fever for two
weeks. That's the price you pay, though.
But I am really proud.
The price is a million.
A million plus bronchitis. But I'm really happy like at least I didn't pay a million and was like, oh man this missed the mark
Like I really think like creatively I look at it and I'm very sick. It's shot sick
Yeah, it was one of those things
I was like this looks like one of the most expensive fucking video to put that in perspective a million, right?
Do you remember you're 35 right yeah okay do you remember when uh
diddy old diddy we can talk about it put out uh victory oh yeah i mean all those videos i grew
that was one million i thought you were gonna say hate me now hate me now was also one million oh
that was the uh him and nas that was not yeah i mean i'm not trying to be a dickhead but a million
back then it's probably like three four exactly i. Exactly. I was going to say that too. What a fucking... It's not a back in the day million, buddy.
You had to go to Lithuania still, you know?
But still, a million
fucking dollars. Yeah, it's crazy.
And I just kind of also know I'll never...
There are certain things where you know you
will make your investment back. How much have you made back on the
AdSense? Can we look at that?
The video has like 1.2 million views.
Even, I think, YouTube views
are down.
The whole website.
YouTube.com is going through a recession.
I'm not to get
the antibiotics for the bronchitis.
It made its money back.
It will live forever.
It's a new thing that I've never done. I loved acting in that but it'll live forever it will live forever it will live forever and I'm really like I like I just like
it's a new thing
that I've never done
and like I loved acting
in that first scene
like getting into character
in a different way
and I just thought
it was just
I have no regrets
I have no regrets
I love that you are
always willing to flex
your artistic muscles
yeah
like
yeah I just like
even the concepts
that you'll talk about
shooting in Dave
I'm like that's incredibly artistic even though he's never going to do that.
Like the end of season one, you had a video that the episode you're thinking about shooting and then season two, the VMA performance.
I was like these even not getting done really fucking artistic ideas.
Yeah. Thank you, man.
I definitely put my best foot forward and try as hard as I can to be great.
OK, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now. Okay, okay. Now, now, now, now, now, now.
Now, now, now, now, now, now, now.
Now, now, now.
Now, now, now, now.
Buckle up.
You get to do whatever you want when you make music.
You get to shoot whatever you want.
You put your own money up.
It's under your total control.
Then you go to big, bad Hollywood.
How frustrating.
Try to shackle me.
Why would they do that?
They made you put out an environmental video just so you could get the show.
Oh, dude.
Unbelievable.
Thank you for saying that.
Wait, what happened with this?
What happened with this?
I'm on my Earth video.
Just trying to do my part.
Frustrating, beyond belief, or they kind of let you do your thing?
I'm pretty fortunate in like FX is a really creator friendly network.
They will let you cook.
Yeah.
They let me, they kind of knew what they were signing up for, I think.
And then once you prove yourself, I think they're like, this guy knows what he's doing.
And I've never really felt like creatively hampered in a way where like I wanted to do something and like executives are like, no, you can't do that.
Like I've never, I've never experienced that.
Cool.
I'm sure I will one day.
Yeah.
But I think at least I kind of have made,
my start has been one where I think I am known
for being like a creative, whatever, risk taker.
You go for it.
Yeah, I go for it.
I love that.
Like, get some business with me.
That's what they expect almost.
That's what they're signing up for.
So I can't imagine that I would be in a situation
where all of a sudden I'm being
shackled. Going into it,
I was definitely nervous. I was like, who the fuck are
these people that are going to tell me
what jokes are funny?
You're right. In music, I have no
oversight. I do whatever I want at all times.
Now, I'm not the one.
I can't pay whatever, how much it costs
to make a season of Dave. I can't front that money.
What is that like? It's a lot of money.
And so I need Disney Corporation to shell it out.
And so it is kind of, there are things that are out of my control.
But I'm just lucky that I've been trusted.
And I think I've delivered.
Guys, Life Tour, Charlotte.
Thank you so much for selling out the show.
We added a second show in Charlotte.
Also, Nashville, we are coming.
Austin, we are coming.
Phoenix, we added a second show.
San Francisco, you sold out all four shows.
That's incredible.
We'll see what we can do about that.
But thank you guys so much.
More cities are also available at theandrewschultz.com.
Go there.
If there are tickets left, go check them out.
And Philadelphia, you're up next. I will see you therez.com. Go there. If there are tickets left, go check them out. And Philadelphia,
you're up next. I will see you there soon. Peace. Also, guys, you got to hurry up and get your
tickets. We sold out the last two weekends in a row. Every show in this weekend at San Jose Improv
looks like it's going to sell out as well. Two are already gone. The other two tickets are limited.
Then February 22nd through 24th, Oklahoma City. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be honest.
There's a lot of tickets available for that show.
That shit is looking a little pathetic.
So hurry up and come through so I don't look like an asshole.
Also, March 1st and 2nd, Greensboro.
March 8th and 9th, Stanford, Connecticut.
And this is a biggie.
I'm going to be in the Netflix is a joke festival.
That's right.
I'm going to give you guys exact dates soon,
but your boy is selling out.
You know what I mean? Not just selling out tickets.
I mean, soon I'm going to be a corporate shill and I can't fucking wait.
I don't ever want to talk to y'all again.
Fuck you, Alex. Tickets at alcochesting.com.
Now, do you do you want to do more, Dave?
Like, what is the what's happening with Dave?
All this crazy success. everybody talking about it.
Yeah.
Darling.
I mean an absolute darling.
You're a darling.
Loved by the people and the industry.
Very rare.
Yeah.
Very rare.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
Do we get more Dave or no?
We're talking about it right now.
Honestly, I really am in the headspace right now.
What happens was the writer's strike happened i then had time off to like finally like finish like certain songs that
were in the show and put the soundtrack album together and like i got back to making music
truly for the first time in like five years was able to focus on music and then i really totally
refell in love with making like i came into this making music and it's been truly five years
since I've been able to like actually focus on it
for more than like six weeks at a time.
And right now, like I'm spending every day making music
and fully like thrilled by that idea
to the point where I don't know how long
I'm gonna work on music,
but I also know that, you know,
the show has kind of reached this height,
whatever that is.
Ty? I don't believe my music career has reached that height that my show has kind of reached this height, whatever that is. Ty?
I don't believe my music career has reached that height that my show has reached.
So you want the music to reach Dave's success?
Kind of.
I mean, I feel like I'm capable of it.
And I feel like truly, you know, how much time do I have left on this earth of going for it as a rapper?
Like in 10 years, I don't know.
It might be like if I'm still rapping you might be
like we got to talk about this so i'm just really anxious to maximize my potential as a musical
artist because i've just never so like right now my focus on but look the story of my life is
ongoing i'm sure we're going to have experiences today that i feel like i feel like it's going to
be a while since we get more dave i kind of feel that's what i don't know i i i really am just
trying to like i've been like one foot out of music one foot in like for a while and i just like i'm really relishing the opportunity but we're
we're just starting to talk about all these things and time will tell but you know right now i'm so
satisfied with like the three seasons i just cranked out and like where i left off with brad
pitt and drake i'm just like the dra Drake thing is wild. I feel like this season, especially, not only do I
I'm pretty self-critical
about what I make. Every season,
I'm like, that was cool, but I know I could
do this better. That was cool.
Truly, season three, I watch it and I'm like,
I don't know if I could do that better.
Wow. I'm like, that was done
perfectly. Personally, you feel as fulfilled
as possible. I feel pretty fulfilled.
Like literally like the last experience I have being on set with Brad Pitt and like giving him direction.
He's looking at me like I'm like a Cullen brother.
Oh my God.
It took my breath away.
Smells good.
Smells good.
Oh, I bet he smells.
I have a bad sense of smell.
I'm not going to lie to you.
You're like a masculine, like kind of muscular.
You taste the air.
I'm telling you, first off, when he walks on set, everyone, their posture changes.
Everyone has such a sense of purpose.
Even the men, right?
Especially the men.
Wow.
So they know there's a pecking order.
And this guy couldn't be nicer
and not in a way...
He fucking better be.
Not in a way where it feels like
he's trying to be nice
so you say good things about him.
It just feels like that's his natural...
Genuine.
Genuine, so down to earth, so cool. Couldn't say say good things about him. It just feels like that's his natural. Genuine. Genuine. So down to earth.
So cool.
Couldn't say enough
good things about this man.
Hug him at all?
Did you give him a hug?
Oh, yeah.
Held him too?
Not very.
He's in shape as fuck.
He's in such good shape.
By the way,
tatted up in a way
that tatted up.
Wow.
Oh, that's weird.
I didn't know this.
And cool tattoos.
Like what?
I don't know.
I don't know what they are.
I saw them in Fight Club
but I was too busy looking at the V. the v's were crazy really taking any tattoos no
get out of here so he's just a badass badass guy he's cool like he was really like i would say the
coolest guy i've ever met yeah yeah look at his arm look at his arm that's a cool arm yeah
that arm is cool as fuck look at the veins that he's got a bracelet you know there's
some people that like own their celebrity like they walk in a room they know all eyes are on
them and they're comfortable with that yeah i saw hugh jackman do that once like he just walked
around he started introducing himself and he knows everybody in the room knows it's fucking
wolverine yeah it's you and there are some people that you know they like they pretend that they're not famous and they
do that thing we're like yeah hey dude i'm hugh but i i what are you gonna do i feel like that's
like like how could you not do that as a famous i don't know i would i would feel lame like if i was
drake and i like was had the attitude of like you all know who i am like but does he really need to
be like hi i'm aubrey to you i think so what if he's just like dave my man how are you brother i know
you know i am different if both of us have like if we're both famous and he's we've like been dming
and you know what i mean but like if i'm just like a guy like a pa on set yeah i just think
it's disingenuous is that the word to be like what's up man like good to see you like i'd rather
like him be like what's up like drake. I don't know why I'm talking from the
perspective of Drake.
No, this is good.
Aspirations.
What happened?
Okay, so
he's in the room,
so Pitt's in the room. First off,
the way I meet Brad Pitt. Yeah, how did this come
together? Well, no, I met him on set.
I actually just cold emailed him. What?
Yeah, really reckless. I wrote the cold emailed him. What? Yeah.
Really reckless.
I wrote the entire.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Let me just finish one thing.
Yeah, yeah, go, go, go.
First, just know that when he actually came on set for the first time and I actually got to meet him for the first time, which is the first place I ever met him, was when he came on set of Dave.
We were shooting a scene where she was making a cast mold of my lower body, so I had to meet this man naked covered in like slop like that's how i had
to be like hey nice to meet you anyways i knew power movie i basically i heard through the
grapevine that and you never know how true any of this shit is but i just heard that like he was a
fan of my show like a friend of mine took a meeting at his production company and like one of his
executives was like oh you know brad loves d. And my friend relayed that information to me like three years ago.
And I stored that piece of information.
You hear that information and is your first reaction like, of course, the guy's got taste, Brad Pitt?
Or are you like, oh, my God, Brad Pitt listens to me?
Honest reaction.
My honest reaction is a combination of of course, but also like I don't know how true this information is.
I'm not surprised.
It's more just I don't know how true
this through the grapevine information is. He should feel
this way. If he sees it, I imagine he would feel
this way.
I love that.
But anyway, so
we're writing. One thing
I really pride myself on with the show is every season we end it in such a way where I think we make the best season finales possible.
And unfortunately or fortunately, we just constantly raise the bar.
So this season I was like, how are we going to beat what we did?
And I was like, well, I have stored this piece of information about Brad Pitt.
Maybe we go after Brad Pitt to the point where we started writing. We wrote the whole
episode before even
talking to him. All my writer's room was like,
they were like, that's crazy. You don't
even know Brad Pitt. And I was like, I know, but
I just feel like if we come with the
right idea,
why wouldn't he do it? I don't know.
Everyone was like, alright, same thing with Rachel McAdams,
same thing with Drake. At least Drake I met
and he was like, I love your show.
And I had face-to-face confirmation
that it was real. With Rachel and
Brad, I just heard through the grapevine and
I wrote them. And this is not like
a random celebrity cameo where
you see them in a club and they're like, what's up,
Dave? And it's really like the entire
plot arc of the whole season was
resting on Rachel McAdams, Brad Pitt, and
Drake. Okay.
And I didn't know really any of them that well.
I barely knew Drake, did not know Rachel or Brad.
Wrote the whole episode, got Brad's email.
From?
From an executive producer of the show named Marty Bowen, who knows Brad's manager.
Okay.
Got his email, and I just got to work on drafting that email.
What's my email? Like the words of it? Yeah, yeah. I couldn't even, I mean, it's long. No, email, and I just got to work on drafting that email. What's my email?
Like, the words of it? Yeah, yeah.
I couldn't even.
I mean, it's long.
No, no, no.
You're, like, what is he seeing in his inbox?
Is your name in your email?
Is it Lil Dicky?
No.
My email?
I don't want to give it out.
I'll tell you afterwards.
Can we bleep it?
I guess.
Yeah, just go.
No.
No fucking way.
That's a lie.
What is he wearing?
Like this?
Like, that's a fucking hot mug. I'm watching NFL. I know that they can do that. That's your fucking way. It's really funny. What, does he wear like this? I'm watching NFL.
I'm watching NFL.
I know that they can do that.
That's your play sheet.
Okay, so that's the email that Brad sees.
And he fucking opens it.
He opens it, and I write this long-ass, well-written email.
You've got to have it.
Bust it up.
My phone's in the other room.
Honestly, it's not that easy to access.
My phone does a thing where it only saves three months' worth of shit.
I could probably get it, but it would take too long.
And I want to leave it between me and Brad.
I don't have to do that.
You know what I mean?
You want to suck.
It's Brad. It's Brad. Yeah, you can't, dog. You know what I mean? It's Brad.
It's Brad.
Yeah, you can't, dog. You can't violate Brad's trust.
I didn't say we got to hear the response.
It's not for you, bro.
It's not for Brad.
Your opening line is everything in the email, right?
Do you remember the opening line?
To whom it may, or like, dear Brad.
It's definitely dear Brad, because I know that his response was dearest Dave.
I love that.
And basically I wrote this
long thing that I
edited all week, sent to my
writers, was like, what do you think of this draft?
They were like, well, maybe we take this sentence out.
We literally worked on this email.
Punched up an email.
You have to.
By the way, we're like shooting episode eight. This episode company. You have to. It's the most important email you've ever read.
We're shooting episode eight.
This episode shoots in two weeks.
We're running out of time.
I'm pushing it off because I'm scared to face
the reality of the high
risk procedure I've taken.
Then a few
days later, he responded, not in the
same thread. He started a new thread.
Wow.
That's big.
And I, like, didn't, it was, I, like, it's hard to explain, but, like, I actually didn't understand that it was his email in response back for, like, 12 hours.
I read this email.
I kind of thought it was, like, junk or something.
Like, it didn't, because he didn't, it was really vague.
I assume his email is not his name. It's not Brad at BradPittitt.com so yeah i can see how you're just like it was hard to
explain but his email was like really short and sweet and like but like not bizarre in a bad way
like it was like iconic it was like so it was weird but like having that he didn't like sign
it brad pitt he had signed it bp and i just wasn't thinking so when does it hit you it hit me like
i saw it
in the middle of the morning, but I'm in the middle of production. I'm doing all the things.
Like, you know, I'm so
spread thin. And then, like, I
re-read it at lunch and I was like, BP.
And then I was like, wait
a minute. Because I remember the subject
line. That's so hard.
The subject line. Wait a minute.
I don't even want to show you the subject line.
Yes! Say that shit, but I'm like, go, go, go, go, go.
It was, hmm, H-M-M-M-M.
Okay.
Very cryptic.
Yeah, it was also cryptic.
It was cool.
It was really sick.
When I reread it, knowing it's Brad, I'm like, that's so cool.
It's the coolest email I've ever, I'm going to frame it.
I'm going to frame the email and put it on.
Anyways, and then, even then, I still didn't believe it was real. So I'm like, I'm hitting my frame it. I'm going to frame the email and put it on. Anyways, and then, even then, I still didn't
believe it was real. So I'm like, I'm hitting my agents
like, is this his email? They're like, uh,
we're confirming it is his email. Like, they're like,
I think he's in. He's down. And then, like,
on set, it was, like, such a joy to be
like, guys, like, Brad Pitt
is in the finale. But even then, I still
didn't believe it would really happen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because dates gotta line up and shit.
Dates gotta line up. It's like, at any point. Did you have to move everything around to fit his window? Uh, happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because dates got to line up and shit. Dates got to line up. It's like at any point.
Did you have to move everything around to fit his window or?
We shifted a few things, yeah.
But, man, by the way, this guy couldn't be more professional.
I designed the shoot in a way to where if he was, it was long demanding days.
We shot, it was like an hour long episode that we had Brad for like, he gave us four full days.
And we're talking like, wow.
We're talking like overnight.
Like we're starting shooting at like 9 p.m. and going to like 6 a.m.
What would that be fee-wise, Dov?
Four days with Brad Pitt.
He can name whatever price he wants.
He's doing it because he wants to.
Oh, no, of course.
He's doing the show because he's passionate.
We're talking millions?
Like an A-star, A-level star.
This doesn't happen.
It's like an episode of TV. It star this doesn't happen yeah it's not even
an episode of TV
it's like
it's not even about
friends or something
yeah
it was just 30 years ago
wow
yeah
it was a great episode
I gotta say
the most validating
moment of my life
has to be
prior to that
it was when
LeBron James
reached out to me
and DM'd me
about being a fan
of the show
but like
working with Brad
and it's a shame
that I live my life
like just trying to
impress LeBron James
and Brad Pitt
and that's how I find the peace and satisfaction.
It's not that. Most of us do.
Let's be honest.
But him coming, and then when he finally showed up on set,
and I was like, this is real.
Like I said, shooting scenes,
you shoot his coverage, my coverage.
We always started with his coverage,
and I got the body double with the exact body type of thing.
He stayed in?
And I'm like, Brad, if you want to go home and rest up,
we can use this other man's shoulder very easily.
He was like, never in a million years would I do that.
He was like, that's not how it should be.
So real quick, just for everybody at home,
explain when you're shooting a show.
When you're shooting a show, yeah.
So let's say I'm here and Brad is here.
Me and you.
If the camera's on, Dave.
Yeah, sometimes you can do things called cross coverage,
which is there's a camera here and a camera here at the same time.
That's really good for like improv and stuff, but it's not as good aesthetically.
You can't like light things as particularly to do it that way.
So you're better off aesthetically shooting one side at a time.
So I would always start shooting Brad's side.
Of course.
So that way.
He could leave after his.
He could leave because we got a body double because when we're shooting over Brad onto me, all we need is his like flannel shirt and shoulder and we had a man for that yeah and but he was like no sir like
respect that is fine he wanted me to feel i would never have energy when i'm giving my performance
and honestly it is true like he that is the right thing to do and but those nerves are going to be
coursing through your veins you're talking to fucking brad pitt and that's the vibe vibe of the reality of the scenes we're shooting is that I am enamored with Brad Pitt.
So it would be easier for me to feel enamored.
But it's an extra, like, it's not 30 minutes.
It's like eight hours or whatever extra that he's standing there doing that, I assume, right?
Yeah, it's like four hours.
And it's like in the dead of the middle of the night.
He could easily get this.
He's got to come back the next day.
And he, man, talk about a trooper.
Didn't complain once.
It was just a joy, like a true joy.
That's amazing.
Yeah, I think it's smart for the super, super A-list guys also to do cultural shows.
Meaning like, when I say a cultural show, I mean like it has the culture.
People are talking about it because it makes them look cool too, right?
Like how likable is Braditt that he's a fan of
the same show that you were a fan of right right and then he's part of it and you know he doesn't
need the money he's just doing it to be a cool guy that much money like i think that like tv's
pay you've got to like legally give them something yeah like it's not even like it's pretty surprising
how low you know tv pay can be for even big-time actors.
He didn't do it for the money.
He did it because he loves the show.
And I'm so proud of that episode and forever grateful to Brad for changing my life.
Now, if you don't get Brad, did you have a backup guy you could reach out to?
I definitely had, but it wouldn't have been the same.
Who was it? There was no real backup. Who, who, who was it?
There was no real backup to Brad, to be honest with you.
Like I had people in my mind, but like, it just didn't feel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's somebody just tell him it's Ben Affleck.
No, it wasn't.
I love that.
I tried to get Ben Affleck in the Met Gala episode and he was like the schedule.
He was almost in.
He was, I had a great thing for Ben Affleck in that it's so
validating to pursue
these icons
with a straight face.
You know what I mean?
And there's a chance
they'll do it. That's a really
great feeling. That's amazing.
And I'm really thankful.
Alright, question. I know you're heavily involved in the editing
process. Oh, yeah.
Obviously acting.
Now, how involved are you in the writer's room?
I'm the head writer.
So just...
Couldn't be more involved.
In there every day, like on the...
However, you know, we break...
Basically, every episode starts with like an idea.
Like this episode, we want to be trapped in a hurricane
with a conservative Christian family.
And those are typically your ideas?
It varies.
I feel like back in the day, season one, it was mostly my ideas.
And then as time goes on, I run out of ideas.
And we just make more and more different.
But it varies. And once we have an idea, then we've got to really map it out.
Just like breaking the episode.
And then we do that as a group.
We do it really well.
It's so fun.
It's my favorite part of the whole thing.
So it starts out as like one almost sketch concept.
Just a core idea.
And then extrapolate.
Yeah, to the point.
And then we give the script off to a writer to write the first draft.
And like they're writing.
Prose almost, like not jokes or anything.
They're just like story arc.
No, the story arc is totally created in the room by all of us to the point where like
whoever's getting that draft to write,
there's really no room for
deviation. They're not going to be like,
you know what, instead of this thing, I had them go here.
They have a very rigid
thing that they have to like, I'm going to
go here, second scene, and in that scene
I'm going to have a conversation with Gaeta, and it's
got to go like this. They'll be able to make up
good jokes and different dialogue.
They plug in jokes. The structure is very set.
You guys plug in some of the funny stuff
and then whatever. And then the script comes to me
and then I honestly redo a lot of it.
So I feel like
the writing is probably where I'm...
I guess I'm involved in every phase.
I was going to say the most writing, but
I have no other
experience than making the show, as far
as being on a set
and besides making Lil Dicky music videos.
This is the only way I know.
I've been told that I'm more hands-on than anyone ever is.
Who teaches you the process of all of this?
Predominantly this man, Jeff Schaefer.
Yeah, Jeff.
Yeah, Jeff.
So who's, I mean, Jesus, you could list his credits, but yeah.
Yeah, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The League,
like this guy's the Bill Belichick to my Tom Brady.
No network was going to be like, here, little Dickie, we love your Save That Money music video.
Here's the $30 to $50 million.
They need some security.
Yeah, so they brought in a guy to essentially babysit.
So they brought him in.
That's fire.
Well, no, I met with him.
They didn't bring him in.
I knew that I wasn't going to sell the show without having a guy like Jeff.
And then I met tons.
You're Obama.
He's Biden.
I like Belichick Brady.
And then I love working with the guy.
Belichick didn't win without Brady, though.
You know what I mean?
Biden did.
That's true.
You got to think about that.
Well, I'm Brady.
Brady won without Belichick.
But he's Belichick.
He's got hits, though, is my point.
I feel like I'm going to win.
Schaefer's got hits, too, is what he said.
Schaefer does have hits.
Yeah.
He's great.
He must be enough.
He does.
I'm sure you think I've been proper.
I think you're calling Schaefer Positano.
No.
Schaefer built Belichick, the best coach of all time.
But wasn't the best until you had Brady.
It kind of sucks without him.
No, he doesn't suck without him.
Then fine, maybe it's a bad comparison.
Thank you.
But we get it.
You're Brady, which I think is the most important part of it.
Phil Jackson was Phil Jackson.
Phil Jackson.
Kobe's Phil Jackson.
I'm Kobe because he had Jordan.
Yep, yep, yep.
There you go.
Kobe's Phil.
Or do you want to be, it seems like you want to be Jordan.
No, I like Kobe.
Kobe's good?
Kobe is my idol
okay
yeah
so anyways
it was
I would never have been able
to make the show
without Jeff Schaefer
like just simply having
a guy I trust
like having no idea
I'm just
I'm like very much like
I question
the way things are done
all the time
so it's really a relief
for like someone to be like
no like it's not that way
trust me
and maybe like
okay you make my favorite show ever.
I can trust you.
As opposed to someone who didn't have that cachet.
I'd be like, why would I trust you?
You're just a man right in front of me.
So Jeff puts you on game as basically like, hey, this is kind of how we'll construct the episodes.
And you're like, oh, that sounds good.
That sounds good.
And then, you know, as time goes on, I really like, I think there is a huge tonal, I call it the, I always say, like, you know, every season I say, guys, I hope you're ready for a massive tonal shift.
That's what I always say, because I just think tonally, if you look at all three seasons, they are very different.
And I think, while being similar at the same time and feeling like the same show but i feel like i even my taste has
evolved so much to where you know i look at a lot of season one there's a lot that i like about it
there's a lot that i'm just like that's like a amateur hour compared to like what we're doing
season three you know what i mean and it's really a product of like when i entered this whole thing
i really saw myself with nothing to base it on as
like the next great comedian you know with like truly just being everyone's funny friend and i
always thought this show will be my launching pad for being a comedian when i say comedian i don't
i've never done stand-up i don't mean stand-up i mean like the way seth rogan and larry david
exist on screen and their brand of comedy and And then as things have evolved, like I totally see myself as a filmmaker now
to where like I want to be making, you know what I mean?
Like I look at guys like Jordan Peele
and Greta Gerwig and Ben Stiller, you know?
Ben Stiller like carried like the best comedy things
of like our childhood and then decided,
you know what, I'm just going to be the best director
in the world and make like Escape from Dannemora
and Severance.
And I really love that vibe.
Oh, so you want to move away from comedy.
I don't want to move away from comedy because I don't think I should abandon that.
But I definitely want to make non-comedy things.
I definitely feel like my future is not just making comedy.
I want to make movies that aren't even.
Any specific genre you're interested in?
just making comedy.
Like, I want to make movies that aren't even...
Any specific genre
you're interested in?
Like, I think horror
fits so well with Jordan
because comedy and horror
are incredibly similar.
Yeah.
Well, my...
No matter what genre,
I pride myself in realism.
You know what I mean?
So if I had to pick a genre,
I'd pick drama, I guess.
You know, I really love
great dramas and great...
Like, I love movies
like The Wrestler.
You know what I mean?
Movies that just...
I love A24.
You know what I mean?
I always took it for a Marvel guy. I assumed you just loved Marvel.
Yeah, like Iron Man 3.
You're like an Iron Man 3 guy.
No, I am.
That's what you like the most though, right?
Marvel movies. Can you list your top 10 favorite Marvel movies? yeah no i am i am that's what you like the most though right like it's marvel movies like what
can you list your top 10 favorite marvel movies or top 20 if you want uh no i can't
do no such thing um but i i just love and i have fallen in love with the act of filmmaking and like
i realized like you know there's being a filmmaker is just being like a leader of the set and like i
saw this thing on instagram the other day where Quentin Tarantino was like,
being a director,
like you don't have to know how to do all the things. You just have to know what you want
and what your vision is
and hire the right people that can achieve your vision
and be really good at eloquently explaining
what you're going for.
And then the right people will be able to hear your words
and then apply it.
And that's really is filmmaking.
Conducting, right?
Yeah.
Can a conductor play all those instruments?
There's no way.
No way.
But he knows how to get all those people to play those instruments perfectly.
Guys, real quick, we've got to interrupt this episode for our prize picks.
Sing locks.
Are you fucking ready?
I'm going to give you different ones next week.
This week, I got Debo Samuel getting more than 57 and a half receiving yards.
Christian McCaffrey getting less than 36 and a half receiving yards. Might have a big day rushing. I don't think
receiving. And Patrick Mahomes, you're giving you a free square, more or less than a half a yard
passing. Just take more. And remember, if you sign up, use that promo code SHELTS. They will match
your initial deposit up to $100. That means you put in $100, you get $100 for free. Go to
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You got a free square.
Now let's get back to this episode with Little Dicky.
I find it amazing how you just like your first time, your first go at it, you knocked it out the park.
Thank you.
What was something that like the hardest lesson you had to learn along the process?
Well, I'll just tell you what jumps into my mind one is how time
consuming it is like you know i can't even believe what happens to my life when i make this show like
starting with like the writer's room and i'm not complaining because it is like what a privilege
and a gift to make a show about my life that i'm in control of that but like just the amount of
sheer time it takes to put it all together every Every season is like an 18-month journey of, like, where I'm all in every day.
Talk about post.
Post is the hardest part.
Post is.
Post is the hardest part.
With deadlines.
Explain post to people.
Oh, my God.
Real quick.
So, post is just when the show is finished being shot.
You have to edit.
Three phases.
You write it.
You write it for three months.
That's the most fun phase.
That's coming in with, like, a group like this.
We're hanging out.
We're smart and funny
and we're learning about life.
Then you shoot it
harder than writing it
because it's like
you're getting picked up
at like four in the morning
every day
and you're working every day
and you've got to facilitate
all these celebrities.
You're not just acting.
You're managing
all these people as well.
Totally.
You're working on the next trip.
I'm directing of everything.
There's tons of decisions that need to be made, and I have no problem being the person.
I would like to be the person making the decision.
But you also got to get into character.
There's a lot of things.
That's the one thing that I'm lucky.
The thing I think about the least is the acting.
I put so much time and energy into the writing, the set, just the tone, how we want it to be shot, look and feel, that takes up every ounce of my energy.
And then I'll enter a scene being like, huh, I actually haven't even given this any thought as an actor.
But fortunately, I'm being myself and it's written for, I know how I would react in a situation.
So I can just live off my instincts.
It would be a lot harder if Scorsese wanted me to play a Civil War soldier.
I don't know what I would do in this.
You know what I mean?
Which side, though?
Just tell us which side.
North or the south? North.
Good.
But all he gives you is from Philly.
That Mason Dixon is right there.
Post. Then you finish shooting the show
and you're drained. That shoot takes up
every ounce of your energy, and then guess what?
You're not even close to done.
That thing starts to air in, like, eight weeks, and you gotta, and once you're, like, they're
not moving back the air date.
So once that first episode airs, every week, you're, like, locked into the schedule, and
what has happened with my show is, and it's not because I'm this, like, endless perfectionist
who, like, needs to take,
it just takes X amount of time.
No, here's what it is.
Okay, here's what it is.
You tell me what you do in my position.
Like, okay, we have a scene.
I would like to see every take.
Yes.
Just so I know that I'm picking the right,
the best take.
Exactly that.
And so, yes, I could do it in a way
where there's a solid take in the edit
and I could move forward without, but every time I look into it, I could do it in a way where there's a solid take in the edit and I could move forward without.
But every time I look into it, I then find a better take.
And then incrementally, the show just gets better.
That's the reason the show is so good is because I do this no stone unturned method, which really isn't endless pontificating.
It's just going through all the data and obviously having a right choice and just picking it.
And then I inch along and then I'll finish like four episodes,
and then the first one airs, and then my time gets smaller.
And I'm handing in every episode like five days before this thing airs.
And by the way, not only do you have to lock the edit,
then you've got to score the whole thing, which I'm so –
we have such great score, and it's a huge part of the show.
I'm so involved in that.
We've got a color corrected the
music cannot suck no you're a musician yeah yeah the expectation is going to be high yeah and
dude i remember entourage would just like the the score really elevated the show they would have
songs that were like out a week before the episode yeah and you're like holy fuck by the way and
that's not even what i mean that's the easy stuff that's like yeah let me put this cool song in here
i'm talking about-
Writing a song for it.
Original, like I need like a great emotional violin piece for the scene where the character's
crying and it's kind of like make it all work well.
Right, right, right.
You know, it's so, there's a lot of different needs.
And then it's really, so I forget the original question that was asked.
Post, and why post is so stressful.
Yeah, post is the deadline for the timelines.
And like 10 straight weeks you have to deliver this thing and you're running out of time.
And then by the end of it, like the thing – and then I just realized all 10 episodes just aired and I didn't even get to like watch them on TV or enjoy the feeling of people reacting to them because I've been like working the hardest I possibly could work to even make it to the season finale.
And then I arrive here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It is wonderful.
So Mark had a good metaphor for at least what it comes to like building a joke.
And I think the same thing as you're building anything, which is like you're basically creating a sword.
Have you ever seen anybody create a sword where you're just kind of constantly banging on it?
You've never seen it in like Game of Thrones or anything like that?
I've seen, I guess, people like banging.
Kind of exactly what I just said, but you said no?
Also, let me know. I think it's Louis that said that. Oh, did he say this? Okay, so Mark stole it from Louis. I stole it from Louis. banging, like. Kind of exactly what I just said, but you said no. Also, let me know, I think it's Louis that said that.
Oh, did he say this?
Okay, so the mark stole it from Louis.
I stole it from Louis.
Yeah, yeah.
So, but the idea that you're just constantly whittling away, and I think that is what you're
describing when you're like, I want to see every take.
Yeah.
Put that one in, because I don't think people realize this.
A lot of times you'll hand in a movie or a director will hand in a movie and they'll
hand it to an editor that wasn't there while the movie was being shot at all yeah he's a guy who's just
getting all these footage and you know what he might have three other things he's got to edit
so he's like i'm gonna do my best job i want people to come back to me but i'm not gonna
painstakingly look through every single different cut to get the exact word etc and if you do that
it makes the best product but it is fucking time. It's so time consuming and it's really hard, but it's literally my name is on the line.
It's called Dave.
This is my life's work, the story of my life.
I wouldn't feel satisfied or comfortable knowing I've left anything on the floor.
I'm happy to work this hard, especially if I can get the result that I want.
Did Jeff get that?
He probably understood that, right?
Yeah, Jeff, he's really militant in the edit too. He likes to see all the takes and he does get that? He probably understood that, right? Yeah, Jeff is really militant in the edit, too.
He likes to see all the takes, and he does get that.
You say you're not a tortured artist, but there is a perfectionist.
Why did I say that?
You said you're not like a perfectionist, endless perfectionist.
But you are in that, like, I'm listening to the new album now,
and then the first or second track, I think you're like,
I hate all my old stuff.
It's all trash.
This is what it is.
And that's such a, I really admire that,
where it's like this kind of endless pursuit of always getting better and everything before is
not as good as this and this is what it is yeah i i do think i am a tortured artist to an extent
uh i was just in the instance of why the edit takes so long it's not like there are certain
things that like making music is way more anything could could happen at any moment. I could say any line,
I can do it totally differently.
When you have,
like I am so convinced
that if I received footage for each,
like a season three, let's say,
I get all the footage
and I edited the show
and then you put a men in black,
like memory eraser thing on me, right?
And I forgot everything.
And then I received all the footage,
it would be the exact same output.
Because I really think that there is, like,
there's always a clear-cut choice for every moment.
And, like, one time, you know, my hand might be up here
and then the line before it, my hand was down here,
and then I'll pick, well, what line is more important?
And then I'll, like, back out of whatever is more important
and make sure my hand is, you know what I mean?
You're going through the same decision matrix
for every single decision you're making.
Totally.
And I have an opinion. One thing I'm really, like hand is, you know what I mean? You're going through the same decision matrix for every single decision you're making. Totally. And I'm, it's, I have an opinion.
One thing I'm really like people, you know, it is, uh, it can be like, it's a lot of work and like people that work with me, whether it's the mixer, like the editor, they're like, you're
really turning over every stone here. But I think that they respect it because I'm not waffling and
I'm not like, I don't know what to do. I'm like, I just, when presented something in A or B,
I definitely am going to,
unless they're really even,
I'm going to have an opinion.
And even then it gets tough.
If they were even,
then I would just focus group it.
Then you bring it.
That's when I send it to the,
my most trusted writers and I say A or B and that happens.
And then I'll leave it up to the votes.
Yeah.
But the opinion,
having an opinion as often,
that often is like a superpower in and of itself. I think so,
yeah. I think that's one of my strengths
is just naturally having
an opinion. Sounds a lot like
you, because I remember if you're
editing a stand-up clip,
even though he's not the editor,
he will be right there over your shoulder
all night, doesn't matter
what time, and it's like, no, no, no.
Yeah, let me cut this little incremental thing, and it's like, wow.
I've heard stories of other shows.
The Snap system is great.
It's timing.
It's like, for me, at least with stand-up, there is a musicality to it.
So it's just like, boom, boom.
And the way that I can communicate that best to the person who is the master at editing it's just by either snapping
like you know talking to them about i'm not going to learn how to use premiere no why should you
spent your whole life perfecting premiere i spent my whole life trying to be a great stand-up yeah
let's work together but you know how to be like add eight frames of tail yes and like you'd be
shocked at how much like eight frames which you know there are 24 frames in a second you add eight
frames of tail to a joke, it changes the feel.
And so his system is saying, okay, stop right now.
They'll catch it that much later.
So I stole this from you.
It's when I snap, that's when you stop.
I don't have time to get through this sentence.
It's too late when I get through this sentence.
Yeah.
So with, yeah.
So, and then with like, especially when you're editing comedy, I think not even stand up
where there's an audience reaction, comedy where there's not an audience reaction, I think a problem that some editors don't pick up
on is they will hold too long on the person who's delivering a joke as if there's an expectation of
a laugh. You need a reaction to think, yeah. But there is no reaction. Yeah, but you can cut to,
if I'm saying something funny, that's outlandish. And then cut to that person. That person's face
receiving the information and makes it funny. But some people go, and ta-da,
and they're just waiting here. And it's like, now I feel uncomfortable as the audience.
Cut to the person that you're saying it to, and now I feel represented. So these little tricks
with, because I'm always considering the audience. I'm like, how is the audience taking in this
information? If you create discomfort for them and you don't release that tension,
they're just sitting with their shoulders up yeah i like you to bring your
shoulders up i want you to feel that tension we gotta release it yeah but yeah that's instinct i
mean you you know yeah it's just yeah and i do you think you have good taste yes like taste and
opinion for you is like kind of the same i think it's uh yeah because i'm making my opinions based
off my natural taste but i think taste is like everything.
Like, you know, again, I have no experience in filmmaking.
Yeah.
But I definitely watch movies and TV and know what I like and know what I don't like.
And the more and more experience I get, the more I'm able to actually be able to, like, execute these things that I see.
But at the end of the day, your taste is going to define
everything you do. And I
think I have good taste. Favorite movie?
Ever? Yeah.
Actually, let me caveat that. Okay.
Favorite movie?
Most underrated movie?
That's a totally different question. Yes.
Most underrated
movie?
What's that hit movie that you actually like and you're like, no, no, no, this deserves more credit?
I mean, this isn't necessarily my answer because it's the type of thing I would want to put more thought into.
Sure, sure.
What's the movie with Steve Carell and-
40-Year-Old Virgil?
Crazy Stupid Loves.
Exactly.
I knew it.
I know you do.
That's a real underrated-
Is that with-
Fucking Fantastic Emma Stone. Gosling. Yeah, that knew it. I know you did. That's a real underrated fucking fantastic Emma Stone.
Gosling.
Yeah, that's a great movie.
Great comic.
Yeah.
There's another one
that I thought was really underrated.
It was, I think,
the Seth Rogen one
with Katherine Heigl.
Not Knocked Up.
Or no.
The one where she's like
the president or something.
Wow.
See, it's underrated.
I boycotted that movie.
Long shot?
You better believe it.
Look, when you ask my favorite movie,
which I think is an easier question for me to answer that's underrated,
I think of Superbad.
I think of The Big Lebowski.
Lebowski's fantastic.
I think of Shawshank Redemption.
Shawshank is incredible.
There's a perfect example of like an incredibly popular and cherished film that lives up and exceeds expectations.
For sure.
But you know what else I think of?
And I think of like when you say like you want to move away from comedy.
And I'm like, well, not necessarily.
Like to me, there'd be nothing more that I want to do than make, like, the next Social Network.
You know what I mean?
Like, that is a movie that I think is, like, of the utmost taste.
It's contemporary.
It's cool.
It's real.
Do you want it to be biographical?
No, not necessarily.
Like, you know, I wish I had made the Social Network about the story.
I mean, I love the way that they did it.
It's a perfect movie.
But, like, that, like, making like making the social network is like in theory
more appealing to me
than making
Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Even though I love
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
and you would imagine
that maybe my natural skill set
is probably more inclined
to dominate
Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I don't know if that's true.
I mean, I think I would do
a great job making
a great comedy
and I do want to make
great comedies
because I think there's
like a real void
in the comedies.
Like when I was younger and being
influenced, Judd Apatow
was just smashing us like every
year was something that you had to go see in theaters.
Friday, man. Friday to me is a movie that
as much hype as it gets, it's still in the ratings. And there's something weird
going on with comedy right now where like no one's
doing, no one's... What do you think it is? I don't know.
You know what I've heard that makes sense. I actually don't know it. It doesn't perform
well at the box office. Yeah, I've heard
international money is such an influence now in movies.
Comedy isn't as international.
Like a lot of jokes are kind of, if you're in America, in the culture, you get it.
And if not, you're like, I don't.
But Marvel works in China.
And Marvel, you don't need to, yeah.
That's what they say.
You just got to bend your knee to China.
But even the comedies that get made, I'm like, ugh.
I think there's like, this is probably perfect storm, multifaceted question, because I'm sure there's part of the situation where there are people that are maybe scared to make edgier jokes at a time where, remember, films are two years out, right?
So everything in film is two years ago.
Yeah, you're right.
Right?
So maybe it was a more sensitive time two years ago.
Now things are kind of opening up. You can say whatever you want. And maybe in two years,
we'll have those films come back. Those R-rated comedies come back. But I think there's a little
bit of sensitivity from executives. They're like, I got my kids in private school. I'm trying to
build a pool in this house and build an extension. Do I really want to roll the dice on my career
with this edgy movie that's got jokes about retards and trans people.
I don't really think I want to do that. Let's just be safe with this Christmas movie. So I
think there was a little bit of that. Maybe.
But I also do think that they were concerned about this international box office thing.
But the weirdest thing is that everybody I meet that tells me they learned English,
they learned it from cartoons, which are all It's the Simpsons, Family Guy. So you are learning
English through comedy.
So I don't subscribe to this idea that it doesn't travel.
But you know it does travel way easier, Iron Man.
Yeah, but I wonder what 40-year-old Virgin did.
I'm sure it was very successful in America, and maybe it didn't travel that well, but I bet it made a lot of money.
Just imagine Europeans like, I don't get it.
How do you not have sex, Urge?
Well, I mean, think about when he's getting waxed and he's Europeans like, I don't get it. Yeah. How do you not have sex, Urge?
Well, I mean, like, think about when he's getting waxed and he's screaming out, Kelly Clarkson!
It's like, we get that here. Oh, you're saying the references they're going to miss a little bit.
But the reference is not going to hit in the Middle East necessarily.
They're going to be like, oh, the girl who won season one of American Idol?
That's hilarious.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Made $180 million worldwide.
International.
$27 million budget.
I mean, that's not bad.
That's nice.
That's definitely not bad at all.
We're talking 15 years ago.
That's the thing.
He was making our comedies.
I think they will come back.
I also think there's less, for whatever reason,
people out there
who are interested in making it.
It's just kind of a weird time, I think,
where there's just less
comedians making movies or something.
Yeah.
That's fair.
Did you finish writing your movie?
Me?
Yeah.
No, but I'm working on it right now.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Now, is it a topic that you can share?
I don't want to share it.
Pure comedy or comedy drama?
Can you give us genre at all?
And this is something I actively consider as I write my first movie that I want to be like my, you know, written by, directed by, starring me, like my first real boom.
This is like the future of my career.
First off, definitely a comedy.
Coming of age, I would say that's a thing I'd apply to it.
But no, I don't want it to just be like a goofy comedy.
I want it to have tons of heart, be really real, and I want it to ideally
be the type of movie that you'd consider
in the best picture category just as much
as you'd consider, you know, that's what I'm going
for. But it's hard to straddle that
line. It's like, you know, you want
to make this big, epic, commercial
comedy,
and it's hard to do that while also
being this critical darling that ultimately
that is where my taste lies.
And I'm not trying to just appease critics.
I just genuinely like great art.
And I think a lot of the great comedy movies, maybe the artfulness of the way it's shot
will take a back seat.
I don't want that to take the back seat.
I've kind of evolved to a place where I can't even enjoy a scene
that I don't like the way the set design looks.
Which I never thought I'd be that way.
But it's true. Maybe that's the reason why these
movies aren't being made.
What? Like, just in the sense
that people are, they want
the comedy movie, but they also want the art
to be in it as well. So it's like you're not getting
I do think the audiences are getting
more savvy too. They want it well. Maybe you're right. I do think that audiences are getting more savvy too.
They want it more elevated,
you're saying.
Where it could be back in the day more slapstick,
silly, fun,
but not as thoughtful.
Maybe not even the audience. Maybe the artist wants that
as opposed to the audience.
I remember season one of my show
when I'm taking a lot of time to light certain scenes,
there were certain people being like, it's a comedy.
Yeah, why are we working this hard?
Who cares what it looks like?
Yeah.
And I'm like, who cares what it looks like?
We're filmmaking.
Yeah.
How could you not care what it looks like?
That's almost the most important thing.
So I don't know.
But I think there are some people that can do it all, and hopefully I'm one of those people.
What does retirement look like for you?
Ooh, good question.
Do you have to accomplish a certain amount of things in order to do that?
Do you even envision what you're—
No, I kind of am, like, aware that I'll never be satisfied, that, like, the goalposts always keep moving.
Literally, I just did the thing with Brad,
but I feel just as unaccomplished.
So I just think it's a never-ending thing.
No amount of awards are ever going to change it,
and I know that.
And so even though I do care about achievements
and I care about doing well and people receiving it well,
but I just know it's a never ending cycle
So I think retirement looks like the ability
To be at peace with like the things that really are like to not have my happiness totally wrapped up in the validation that comes
Along with my art
like to be like very happy like not making something and not receiving all the flowers along the way and just living in the moment and
Like loving how the light is going through the windowsill and the dust is like moving in the light are you happy right now yeah i am happy
but i oftentimes i ask myself like am i happy or does everything go perfectly for me and i haven't
really faced a lot of adversity in life and if i face adversity i'd become depressed you know but
i am every day i wake up really happy and I'm truly living my dream.
But you're questioning this happiness.
Because I just have a lot of anxiety in general.
But I think no matter what, I think I'm the type of person that will, no matter what's going on in my life, I will always have X amount of anxiety to apply to anything.
And if I wasn't making the show, I'd have anxiety about not seeing my parents enough before they die.
You know what I mean?
And I just think that's how I'm wired.
And fortunately, my anxiety, like, it only kind of fuels my ambition and doesn't, like, bring me down to a place of, like, where I can't get out of bed.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's, like, functional anxiety that, like, propels me.
Yeah, semi-related is not anxiety, but I think one of your superpowers is you can just vocalize the things you're neurotic about where most of us don't.
Yeah.
And you're so comfortable doing that.
And it creates so much room for comedy and content in general.
Just being like,
Oh,
here's what I'm neurotic about.
I'm just going to let everyone in the world know.
Yeah.
Here's what I'm insecure about.
Everyone in the world is going to know.
Most of us are wired to be like,
I hope people don't find out about this thing that I'm insecure about.
You're below.
You're like,
let's just tell everyone.
Yeah.
find out about this thing that I'm insecure about.
You're like, let's just tell everyone.
So you're an anxious kid that wants validation
from
strangers, we could say strangers.
So you
decide to become a rapper.
Yeah.
Right?
I think at my core, I was like,
I live my life. I feel like that would induce
so much more anxiety for most of us. One would think, and it was initially when I'm like, oh my god, I was like, I live my life. I feel like that would induce so much more anxiety for most of us.
One would think, and it was initially when I'm like, oh my God, I have to do a concert?
Yeah.
Like, what?
I've never even rapped in front of everybody.
I don't even like doing karaoke because it's too much.
I'm now supposed to go in front of 2,000 people in Philadelphia, do my first live show?
Very stressful.
I'll tell you.
Look, I start off being a kid who like loves making people laugh. And like, I think at the, at the core of it is like a guy who, you know, I'm very confident and
like know my skills, but I think there must be like an insecurity in me that just wants to be
liked and loved. Sure, sure, sure. And I've recognized early on that like anyone that met
me was like, you're the funniest guy I've ever met. And like, that meant the world to me. And
like, I just live my life like thinking, how do I, how do I show everyone that I am the next funny guy?
I don't think the Adam Sandlers of the world started as anything more than everyone's funny friend.
I'm meant to be that guy.
So question, does rapping start because you did it and people were like, oh, it's funny that this Jewish kid is rapping.
And then do you chase it and go, I'm going to get nice at this?
Here's what happened.
I graduate college, and I'm like-
Oh, so you didn't even rap before-
I graduate college, and I'm like, how do I get noticed for being the next comedic guy?
And I saw Lonely Island, Andy Samberg, and them just dominating the comedic rap space
with everything they did was millions and millions, hundreds of millions of views.
And like they have, I'm like, there's not one single competitor to them in this entire space.
They have a monopoly over comedic rap.
And I was like, I can do this.
What I can't do is write a sketch and like film it in like my San Francisco apartment with no money that like looks as good as the 40
year old virgin looks and like that's what our brain would compare like whatever comedy thing
i'm delivering on youtube they would be like well this doesn't feel legit but like a rap video
like it's very diy to begin with and i was like one of the main things that i did was uh i did
this i used to work in an ad agency and one of the I had, I was the low man on the totem pole.
I was like, I really like, I gave notes on the meetings and emailed it out.
And one thing I had to do was this really boring report on how I work for the Doritos
account, on how our ads were affecting chip sales.
And it was the one time where I would send an email to all the partners of my agency.
And I was like, this is my chance to get noticed for being special.
And I delivered the song.
I'm sorry.
I delivered the report one time that was like a boring Word document that was like a template handed down from every assistant account manager before me.
I was like, let's just like deliver this data like via song and send them an MP3.
And they were like, who is this guy?
They're going to love this guy.
Like, matter of fact
what a break from the go take this little song you made and go make a little music video out of it
and then i learned oh my god my ad agency has a whole production wing and they have and like wait
a minute i grew up watching mason puffy videos and thinking rap videos are this like unattainable
multi-million dollar thing that eventually my career would evolve into.
But wait, we can just take one afternoon,
we can use these five Canon 7D,
and we can make slow-mo?
And it looks like a real rap video?
And then everyone in my ad agency is freaking out
over how much they love this funny song about chip sales?
Imagine if I took my comedic thoughts
and made funny raps about them.
And then I started making rap music with the intention of like,
maybe like the South Park guys will see one of these videos
and hire me to be in their writer's room,
or maybe Seth Rogen will see it.
And then as I started rapping, I just got better and better at it.
It really works like a sport.
I have always loved rap.
I've always loved hip hop.
Growing up, I like wanted to be a comedian
and I wanted to like play in the NBA and be a rapper. Only one of those things felt like remotely
feasible. And when I realized, wait a minute, I can really do this. And I put out a song
called Russell Westbrook on a farm that was like really introspective and not funny at all. And all
my fans were like, this is the shit we want the most. I was like, I can be the next great rapper.
And I got,, then I put comedy
career on the back burner for like four or five years and like became a legitimate touring artist
and like put out an album that like went platinum and have like a lot of big songs and it really
carried. And look, this is a very arrogant way to phrase it, but it really is how I feel. And I
don't feel like it's me trying to be arrogant in any way other than like observing observing the facts at hand like my whole life like growing
up wanting to be a comedian i always felt like i was batman okay and i was like no one knows i'm
batman and i really feel like i like by accident realized that like not only am i batman but i also
feel like i'm superman like as a saying that's really hard because I'm like, wait a minute,
I can make a freaky Friday that goes number one in all these nations,
and that's a legit song.
I was just like, oh, my God.
And then the music career took off, and I put comedy on the side,
and then I started making my show, and my show took off,
and I put music on the side. And that's making my show and my show took off and I put music on the side and that's why I'm so I don't feel like I fulfilled my potential as I
still feel like I have so scratching the surface as a rapper like I know it's on my hard drive I
know it's unreleased and how great I am as a rapper that no one's ever heard right and I just want the
day to come where I put my best foot forward in music yeah We need some bars, Dickie. Dickie, we need some bars.
Come on, give us some bars, Dickie.
Come on. We need some bars, bro.
Come on, bro.
Come on, Dickie.
Can we take a break?
I pee and then we come back.
You guys go pee.
We need bars.
All right, guys, let's take a break for a second
because it's time to make that little Dickie a big Dickie. You already know how it's going meantime. We need bars. All right, guys, take a break for a second, okay?
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Now let's get back to the show.
And we're back, everybody.
I just wanted to say, during the break,
I was able to glance at your preparation.
Yeah, hold on.
Can you show us?
It's only note.
Yeah.
It says Lil Dicky.
Yep.
It's his only note.
And by the way, misspelled my name.
I just think that you-
There's no E?
No E.
Are you telling me there's no E in Lil Dicky?
I look over his notes.
It just says Lil Dicky.
Hold on.
I didn't even put the little thingy to.
Oh, no, no, no.
There's no apostrophe.
Wait, what?
Yeah.
On purpose?
They get that wrong all the time. They really do.
I get so annoyed.
I go to a venue
and it's like up on the thing and it says
with apostrophe. I'm just like,
that happens to him all the time.
That one's kind of on you though, to be honest.
No, a lot of Lils don't have an apostrophe. I think most
don't. It's kind of like a 90s,
80s thing. Are you going to pull a bow-wow and drop
that Lil? No. You're just going to be 90s, 80s thing. Are you going to pull a Bow Wow and drop a bit low? No.
You're just going to be dicky? You've grown now, bro.
You big dick.
Honestly, I couldn't, like, I really do, like, hate my rap name, but I also love it.
I was going to ask you that.
It's a bizarre feeling of, like, do you feel imprisoned by it?
No, it's the perfect rap name.
It's, like, it's my cross.
It's, like, exactly what I want. That's the perfect rap name. It's like exactly what I want.
That's one of the questions.
And I like when people call me LD.
That feels good.
LD.
That feels nice.
LD is cool.
That feels cool.
LD, maybe I'll switch it.
I don't know.
I made a whole list.
Here's the backup I had to Lil Dicky that maybe I wonder,
would I be as successful with this rap name. Let's see young man
To end on manner no young man is kind of nice, but then I see this the UK rapper Dave
Yes, I'm just like I'm that's like that that that's it. I should have been Dave
You should have been Dave. Yeah, little Dicky's interesting definitely just polarizing
you're like what is this
the way you rolled out your career
fit perfectly with everything
I don't have any regrets
there's something weird to me
when I'm on the street and someone's like
yo Dicky, I just don't relate
I don't feel like I should be turning my head
when someone says Dicky
if they said LD I be turning my head when someone says Dickie. If they said L.D.,
I would turn my head confidently.
Now, what happens if you go on and you
make this sophisticated, elevated
art? You're talking about movies?
Film. Okay, yeah.
Well, I mean, music can be sophisticated and elevated
as well, but of course, but film in the way that you described
and people are still going
Lil Dickie, will that bother you? Will it
chip away at you? I think it's irrational.
I definitely wouldn't,
if I was directing a movie,
I wouldn't ever have it be directed by Lil Dicky.
It would be directed by Dave Bird.
And I think there's just,
if I am this level of filmmaker
and I still have a rap career on the side
that everyone knows me,
I think that's just cool.
But I don't think my music career will ever illegitimize my filmmaking career i think it's just two different
sides so you won't rap for us no no i've seen so many i've seen so many freestyles from it do you
know which one that really got me it was the one you were doing like a radio show in london or
something like that it was westwood, curious, going into these things,
do you have a song specifically set up for that interview?
Or not a song, a freestyle set up for the interview?
Okay.
That's okay.
And there's a misconception sometimes
that I'm just making it all up off the top of my head.
No, no, no, I know that you've written it,
but I wonder if it's like, I have 10,
I'll just choose one and go for it.
No, I'll go in there with knowing exactly what I wanna do to do god you gotta execute it of course and yeah um it's nerve-wracking to do like to do those
things yeah break that down like what was more nervous westwood or sway sway because you probably
built up york yeah yeah yeah yeah hip-hop like you know like you like they they hype up like the way
sway goes about his freestyles is like you're in like the hyena lounge you know like it's like you know like if you fail there like it's oh they're gonna like probably enjoy
it you know what i mean or just like yeah relish in the in the failure of it so i just thought like
you know especially as a white rapper named little dicky who like makes joke comedy music like you
know you got to go in there and kill it and so i was so nervous oh my god i can't even believe i
did it and then i did it again and I can't,
but it's probably like
the footage I'm most proud of
that if I was like,
Jay-Z had never heard of me
and he was like,
what should I watch first?
Check it.
Sway Freestyles.
How long does it take to write it?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Two weeks preparation?
Like what's your prep for that?
You know,
you got to find the right beat
and I write, I probably write it in like two days. for that? You know, you gotta find the right beat.
I probably write it in like two days.
I thought that Sway chooses the beat.
No. Sometimes he does. It depends.
If you do like five fingers.
Oh, yeah, that's an idea.
Okay, so you're going in there and you're just adjusting it to whatever the beat is.
That's even trickier.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then the Westwood.
A couple days before,
but you're like,
I know I gotta drop a fucking...
I love Westwood.
I, like, remember seeing
the old Eminem freestyles
on Westwood.
Yeah, that was crazy.
And I was just like,
I don't know,
I think I get more,
like, the Sway and the Westwood,
I was, like, on tour.
And, like, when I'm on tour,
like, I really feel
more like a rapper
than I do when I'm just, like,
sitting around.
So I just think I have
a different energy
where I'm like,
all right, let's drop in there
and kill it.
It's just another performance.
Yeah, I'm in that zone.
But the insecurity is about failing the execution.
It's never about the rap itself.
Totally.
So you're very confident about the music.
Yes.
It's just, are you going to flub it in that moment live?
Exactly.
That's interesting.
Whereas most people would be worried about if their art was going to beub it in that moment live? Exactly. That's interesting. Whereas most people would be worried about
if their art was going to be appreciated by these people,
there's never a question.
I always agree.
It's so great.
If I properly execute, we should be good to go.
That's how I feel.
But like, look, here's a story that I think is interesting.
Like two or three years ago,
I was asked by the Emmys to do, to be a part of the
opening number of the Emmys. And they like, it was like a Tuesday and the Emmys are on that Sunday.
And I'm a groomsman in my like best friend's wedding, like on that Saturday. And I was like,
oh my God, like, you know, what an opportunity, but also how, and then they were like, oh, it can
be like, maybe I shouldn't be sharing this, but I don't know.
I don't give a fuck.
They were like, it's a prerecord.
You can record your thing ahead of time.
You know, you can record your verse.
And then when we're doing it, it will just be a prerecord.
So I thought, nothing really to lose here.
Let's record.
You know, I have three days to record a verse before I go.
I then record my verse, send it in.
They're like, great, we love it.
I fly to Denver to be a groomsman.
And the whole weekend, I'm listening to my verse.
And no matter what the wedding songs that are playing,
I'm doing my verse to every single one.
I'm just getting.
And then I go to the Emmys.
I'm literally in my white suit.
We're backstage.
They're like, you're on intent.
And Gaeta's right there with me as moral support.
And I say to Gaeta, I'm like, I'm going to kill this shit.
I had such confidence.
I go out there.
Immediately once I went out there, I forgot every word to the thing.
Right? I forgot everything
it was like a bomb
that dropped
that's fucking rough dude
I take one step out there
I mean this is the first moment
of the Emmys
it's nationally televised live
but I knew it was a pre-record
so like
my thing is playing
and I realized
oh my god
I just need to put this microphone
over the
right here
no
and then just like
can we get this video
get it up
but so in my mind i'm like almost blacked out like i'm like i don't know what's going on right
now like if if my mic was live and we were picking up that feed it was like
like it would have been like a failure on like a national scale yeah um and then i finished it and
i got off stage and i was like, oh my God, did I just
embarrass? Because in my mind, I didn't know. I forgot
what I was supposed to do and I don't know how my body
and then I watched it and I was like, oh my
God, I look so cool.
To me, it comes off great.
You knew the mic wasn't going to be hot.
Yeah.
Let me tell you. You saw Brad for the first time.
Let me tell you. That's what I want, Brad.
I don't know that I'm ever doing live that's what I want Brad I don't know I don't know
that I'm ever doing
live TV performance
ever again
I don't know
alright let's see it
hold on let's watch it
I'm like
like I have no idea
and then I think
I remembered it
like right now
I started remembering
I didn't start to come in
yeah
wow
that's Jesus cause you cannot tell walk into the crowd too that you're even more hidden And then I think I remembered it like right now. I'm trying to remember it. And then it started to come in. Yeah. Wow.
That's genius.
Because you cannot tell Adam. Walking through the crowd, too, that you're even more hidden, it's smart.
Dude, all I know is that experience has rocked me.
I used to imagine myself like, I want to one day get to the place where I'm doing the Super Bowl.
I'm like, no.
I just don't know if it's worth it.
The possibility of
failure on such a giant...
Succeeding doesn't really yield that
much. I didn't get that many...
Nothing really happened for my career by
successfully making it through that moment.
Failing would have been...
I would have been known for it.
The risk reward is not in your favor yet.
I don't know.
If I can't control the edit, I don't know. I think like, like if I can't control the edit,
I don't know.
Yeah.
And maybe I'm a pussy
and maybe I need to face my fears.
Maybe one day I will go on stage
and my mic will be hot
and it will be the Grammys
and I'll go for it.
That's what we were talking about
the other day about like,
you know,
the more successful you get,
the less you have to face your fears.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
You don't have to.
Totally.
You can exist.
You can edit everything. You can take the time. You. You can exist. You can edit everything. You can
take the time. You can create a track. You can take six
months to put out if you want, but sometimes the
things you really want are right on the other
side of what you fear. Maybe that
Super Bowl, maybe you're telling yourself
right now, I don't need to do this, but
it could just be comfort.
I don't know. I guess the more
and more... Because that shit looked all right, bro.
I thought it was going to be a bum.
He's saying a best man speech while he's in there.
He mixed up the words.
I just think the more and more that my career goes on and I feel like, you know, established and like I've kind of achieved things that I always dreamed of.
I feel more inclined to prioritize like quality of life and happiness.
But what is that to you?
What is that? That's not like being like a month leading up to the Superbowl being like,
oh my God, I have so much anxiety about like,
imagine the month leading up to the Superbowl when you're not performing on the Superbowl
compared to when you are.
Not to say I'm well aware that I'm nowhere close to,
I'm never going to be asked to perform at the Superbowl.
No, no.
Oh, I wasn't saying that.
I'm saying like, even if you weren't going to be performing at the Superbowl,
you're still going to be on the greatest coastline in planet Earth and going, it's a little too rocky.
So what is interesting to me is that you will choose your distraction from your anxiety.
Do you put yourself into film?
Do you put yourself into music?
But you still need to choose something.
I'm going to apply it somewhere.
You're right.
And we'll see.
Time will tell.
I just know that, man, it can be pretty stressful, especially as a rapper.
It's not like, you know, doing stand-up would be stressful, too.
Have you ever tried it?
No, I never have tried it.
Any interest?
Yeah.
You've had, I imagine, jokes.
You're like, ooh, that would be a good stand-up joke.
No, and I am interested in trying it, but I have such respect for the art form that I know it's well beyond just being a funny human being.
And it would require so much time and effort for me to be the stand-up comedian that I would hope to be that I don't even want to try it until I'm ready to apply myself.
And you'd have to fail publicly in the beginning.
Yeah, you have to fail publicly.
You're a famous person now, so you going up, it's gonna be rough totally like i think when you say
like what does retirement look for like i do crave like one stand-up special like at some point like
it could be when i'm 50 like i would love to be able to do that mix music and you know who did
that well bow yeah bow bow is obviously talented musician but he also had jokes and he could kind
of mix the two and then he could use the music to kind of float in between the bits i could and
i'll tell you there are like shows that i do sometimes that are like corporate or like just
like where it's small you got some jokes in between and those are my favorite things where
like i get to just chit chat in between like even as my favorite part of performing live is like
not even pre-planning it but like living in the moment saying something like seeing someone react
like actually being in the moment with the crowd even if it's a small crowd but i also don't like using music
as a crutch like you know what i mean like i do kind of want to just go up there with a microphone
and just and do a stand-up special maybe use it in the beginning as you start to build your act
and then once you have it yeah now you're ready to go yeah because i think that's a lot of times
that's what like comics will do when they're trying to build a new hour
They'll have like 15 minutes left over from their last and it's kind of a crutch. Yeah to get through this new stuff
Yeah crutches maybe we there's a negative connotation
But at least gets you there allows you to try the new stuff without just bombing the entire time, but that could be cool
Yeah, and also a very different experience for an audience like I
Yeah, if they're going there they're hearing hits
But then they're seeing these like stories and you have punchlines built into the stories're going there, they're hearing hits, but then they're seeing these stories and you have
punchlines built into the stories and then there's
more music. You're right. It's an interesting idea.
There's a lot that I want to do.
I just think, I wonder,
I think I have a good
skill set for stand-up comedy.
I respect the art form too much to just assume.
As confident as I am,
if I went up and did stand-up right now, it would not
go well. It's humbling stand-up. not go well. It's humbling stand-up.
I'm sure.
It's humbling stand-up.
Did you ever feel like any of your live concerts went poorly
due to, like, the anxiety?
Well, my first concert ever didn't necessarily go poorly,
but I had never performed live in front of anybody.
Like, literally, like, the way the internet
and everything works, like, I could create
a following online behind a laptop and then all of a sudden have to be a rapper in front of 2,000 people.
And I just didn't know how to pace myself.
So the adrenaline was so high for me that the first song, I used all my energy.
So you just had a breath.
I was gassed.
The whole rest of the show, it felt like I just need to survive.
I just need to survive this like physically.
So I think everyone had a nice night that night.
But I remember like then the next night I had New York City and I was like, definitely need to go less hard song one.
And I did.
And then like, but I was really scared going into it.
Like I was like, I never perform.
Will I be a good live performer?
And now I was like, oh yeah, very natural.
Like I feel like I'm a great live performer.
like oh yeah very natural like i feel like i'm a great live performer but there's something about being a rapper where there's a whole different swag that is required where like if i even move
my body in a corny way even if i don't fuck up the words but i just do a lame dance i'll be like
scarred by that you know what i mean and like the internet will run with that but again what a
persona is not trying to be
the coolest rapper
you're right
they might think
that you're doing it
on purpose to be funny
I'm built to fail
I thought about that
with the Emmys
like if you went in there
and you bombed
people in the audience
would probably be thinking
it's a bit
oh he's doing it
let me tell you
if I ever do live perform again
100%
there will be a built-in failure plan B.
Where, like, if I fail, in West Philadelphia.
We will roll into the failure package.
It might even be better than what would have happened if I didn't fail.
Yeah.
You know, but I will definitely have a plan for failure.
Has anybody not liked your stuff?
Like, anybody you admired
not liked it? And what did that feel like?
A lot of people don't like
Lil Dicky, the standalone rapper.
Like, especially, like,
you know, your elitist
journalists who, like, you know, are like,
you know.
How do you deal with criticism?
Let me just
caveat this. You're a very confident person.
I actually don't interpret it as arrogance.
I just interpret it as confidence, and you objectively almost like—
I analyze the facts at hand.
It's almost autistic.
What a fire.
You know what I mean?
You're like, this is the data, and I would say that this thing is better than me honestly if i felt that
way and i'm sure there's people you think are better and you would just objectively say so i
don't interpret it as arrogance but that's like i'm sure there are people who might how do you
deal with criticism uh i i try not to get wrapped up in it but like and i try to sensitive to it at
all i am i try to avoid it really. Like, I think like what I would
do is like, you know, back in the days, like I would read every comment that was made about every
song and like episode. And like, I would get like 95% positivity with the 5% negativity.
Eats at you?
Eats at me and it changed my mood. And so I just like, I just realized that's going to happen no
matter what. There are oftentimes criticism, like there there's probably criticism of me early in my career for my earliest low-dicky stuff that at the time I was like, fuck that.
I'm the greatest rapper in the world.
And now I look back at it and I'm like, what worthy criticism.
I did kind of suck.
Interesting.
And that was one thing.
Because my mentality really hasn't changed.
I've always felt like the shit that I'm making is great.
And then I'll look back on it and be like, maybe it's not.
And so me knowing that I could always look back at whatever I think is great right now
and view it a little differently makes me not, you know what I mean?
And I don't know.
I try, what my favorite thing is, is for people,
I oftentimes, people greet whatever Lil Dicky content is coming
with immediate pessimism going into it.
And then get won over.
I love winning them over.
Like, I would much rather perform on stage
at a random festival where I am one act
and I go out there and I see,
I just see the same kind of guy
who is predisposed to hate me in the crowd like this.
And I just lock eyes with that person.
And I eventually, like, I see them going like,
and like, there's no better feeling than winning over a natural born hater.
That's probably your life.
Yeah.
Right?
And I remember seeing that, I think it was the first episode of Dave.
Was it the first episode with YG and his boy?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That moment presents itself, right?
You're like, okay, they all think that I'm this kind of awkward weirdo.
And I'm going to spit some bars.
And in the first couple bars, you're doing a teapot dance. and it's almost like, uh-oh, this might not go well.
We're easing into it.
Yes, which is, I think, a good choice.
Yeah.
If the first bar is just the greatest thing you ever heard, then the audience can also have that transition.
Yeah, totally.
Great, okay.
So interesting.
So you like winning the people over.
Now, hmm.
Yeah.
But, look, I might prefer to be like, what I crave deep down, it will never happen.
What I crave deep down is like the undeniable love and respect of everyone on earth.
That's a worthy pursuit.
That's what I'm craving and it will never happen.
You know what I mean?
But like I like want to.
I crave deep down.
At least respect i literally thought i literally thought it was gonna be like just inner peace i just wanted to be with myself the validation of every stranger
but i know it's a problem i know we're wrong never having to search for inner peace
oh it'll never happen and i have to be at peace with that.
Okay.
But, like, yeah, I just kind of want to, like, even if I'm not your cup of tea, I want to be able to get to a place where any criticism would be like, it's not my thing, but, like, man, for what he does, he is great at it.
Like, there are plenty, like, that's what I'm trying to.
Do you think there's a ceiling on that craving?
I think, like, in terms of aspiration or whatever.
The ceiling is the whole population of the earth.
That is the literal ceiling.
As you know, comedy doesn't travel all internationally.
You've got to figure it out.
Learn some Mandarin.
I don't know.
What criticism hurts more, the show or the music?
Any criticism towards the show, of the music? Ooh.
The show, any criticism towards the show, I really, like, look at it as just, like, misguided criticism.
Like, to me, I don't know how you'd criticize the show.
I hate to say it.
What about, there was, like, this music I kind of, like, sometimes, especially my old stuff, I'm like, I listen to it and I'm like, ooh.
Why is that?
Do you think because you put so much into the show or why?
is that? Is it because you put so much into the show or why? I just think that with the show,
music really is a 10,000 hour thing for me where I had a naturally good starting place,
but I've just developed my craft and just got better and better at rapping to where now,
just the way I deliver it, just the way I just really believe my own swag way more present day than like if i go back and watch 2013 videos with the filmmaking and comedy and tv i just think i
naturally kind of rolled out of bed just already great at it it's like more it's just it's less of
a you know the way i'm talking to you right now is how i talk in the show and like i think i just
like end up like the my brand of comedy for example i'm not like the best like will ferrell
is so great at like being
and putting on these like different characters
and like dominating like my
best form of comedy is just being myself
and the way I speak is funny and my
show is way more naturally the way I just
am in life than like if I started
rapping right now that kind of is like a little bit of
like I have to turn into like a little bit of a different
superhero than I am
when I wake up out of bed, you know?
There was that stuff with Theo, Vaughn.
He was upset.
Like how do you deal with something like that?
I'm happy that you brought that up.
So I have never stolen any jokes whatsoever.
But like how do you handle that?
Like I don't think –
Well, that particular instance, I think to myself, well, I don't understand why he would think that I haven't stolen, you know, to catch.
I don't know if you guys are aware of the context of it.
And I only recently am aware because I saw a comment.
It was just on the Internet.
And yeah, I think he was doing like a barstool show.
And you guys both had a similar idea in the show.
Right.
Yeah.
He had it in something.
And then you had it on a podcast.
He said it on a podcast.
About the wooden shirt thing.
Yeah, it was like a wooden shirt. And then you guys had it in something, and then you had it, I guess. He said it on a podcast. He said it on a podcast. About the wooden shirt thing. Yeah, it was like a wooden shirt, and then you guys had it in the show.
I remember when we came up with the wooden stuff in the writer's room, and it was totally
built on a different idea that was about a man whose entire house was made of wood down
to the clothing.
And then we ended up not going with that storyline.
Yeah.
Ended up doing one small, really inconsequential scene of my series where a guy was just selling
wooden shirts.
Yeah.
I promise you it wasn't.
I've never, and whenever I see content of theo vans online as i'm scrolling i totally think it's funny and i respect it i've got no animosity i've just never met him we have
so many mutual friends yeah i always was under the understanding that like accusing a comedian
of stealing jokes is like a major taboo and it's the biggest yeah i was like well just reach out
to me and let's because i've never and i have nothing but respect from what I see of his content online.
But I never have stolen any joke.
That's really my immediate reaction.
Yeah, it's not like I'm not hurt by it.
I'm just like, why would that why would he be so insistent that I when I never would.
Right, right.
Two people can't have the same idea.
It's a pretty broad idea.
Yeah, I do have wooden clothing.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know. It's kind of specific to the way you just
said it.
Men and women are different.
They're in one dimension.
Yeah.
But,
yeah. Have you guys spoken
at all? Why don't you guys just talk?
Yeah, I would.
Because I think a lot of times what would happen in these situations is both sides explain their part, and then you go, oh, okay, I see why these two different comedians came to this conclusion, and it wasn't somebody that's trying to bite.
I'm definitely down.
I have no beef with him whatsoever.
I don't like when, if I post something and I see, like, stop stealing Theo's jokes.
It's just, I I never have done that.
I think there's only one joke in question.
It's not like I've made a career.
You know what I mean? I don't even know what other jokes
were even questioning.
In three seasons of television.
That's the thing. I think now
with the internet, there are so many
more people putting things out
that the possibility
of two people having a similar idea is infinitely higher than back in the day where there would be 10 comedy specials a year.
Yeah.
And you just need to cross over in those 10.
Now you have a million pieces of content that are out there in the world, and you're going to see people with similar ideas.
You see it happen with memes.
You see it happen with written pieces. You see all these types of things.
So I don't think it immediately means
that one person is stealing from another.
All I know is that my soul
feels very pure and clean.
I just think you guys are both great and I would love you guys
to both just be like, hey.
Set it up. You're friends with everybody.
I will set that up.
For you? I will set that up.
On the beach in Positano.
You set it up with Brad. Put will set that up. For you? I will set that up. On the beach in Positano. With Brad.
Put us in Texas BP.
That feels equivalent.
You have some verses that are
kind of wild. You'll be like
bend over Michelle Obama is an insane
line. Were there any lines
that you wrote or even scenes from the show
that you're like, yo, this can't go in?
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Were there any lines that you wrote or even scenes from the show that you're like,
yo, this can't go in. This is too
crazy. Well, first off, I
look back at that line and it's like, what the hell was I
thinking saying that?
It's wild.
Had the Obamas reached out at all?
No, but I regret saying that because
first off, I do believe
that when you're rapping, the rap that I grew up on was like Eminem who was saying like the wildest shit.
Hyperbole.
Like hyperbole.
There's nothing literal happening.
And it was really just an ode to respect of like how great I think she is.
What was the whole line?
What was the whole line?
I said.
It's a bar.
Oh, what did I say?
I was Googling it.
Don't worry.
This is the Emmys right now. It's a barf. What did I say? Don't worry.
I said, I forget the first part.
It was like, in a year, I'm a bend over Michelle Obama.
Like, I got to do it while I'm hot. I'm trying to get blue in most states like Barack, which that's a good line.
That's a good line.
And look, I honestly.
I just wanted you to rap on the show.
At the beginning of my career, unfortunately, I was kind of at a desperate,
pathetic place of, I've got to say some
wild shit to go viral, to get
noticed, to have the opportunities I want.
I don't think that's desperate or pathetic.
I don't know. I look at it as a little low-hanging
fruit. But I think at that point in your life,
you're just trying to get attention, and you see the people
you look up to. You're looking up to, imagine Eminem.
You're looking up to all these other rappers. They're also doing it.
So you're like, this is the genre. I meant nothing by it all I can tell you is like I love
the Obamas and like I have from the line I have the biggest fear of like meeting them one day or
like working with them and them being like what about that thing you met anybody that you had a
bar about no not one person that you've you've rapped about you've crossed paths with well no
I would not by the way I haven't rapped negatively like you've crossed paths with? No. By the way,
I haven't rapped negatively.
No, not negative.
Even saying that you
are lusting over a woman
and then you meet them.
I think I've been talking
about how much I love Drake
for a decade
before I actually met Drake.
And then, so what happens?
Well, then,
fortunately, I met Drake
and he knew about the show
and loved it.
I literally was at a bar
and literally I turned around.
He's got good taste
and he's plugged in.
Yeah.
So it was just, he was like, you're just the man I want to see.
I love your show so much.
I watch it all the time.
And I was like, I literally, I was the perfect.
But he didn't go high on Aubrey.
He didn't need to.
You're right.
I'll tell you, I was the perfect combination of drunk and high the moment I kind of had that.
I was floating.
I looked unsafe. I couldn't have come of had that I was floating I looked unsafe
I know I was coming off really good
I was loose, I was waiting
my whole adult life for this moment
I really was at the
perfect level of intoxicated
to handle it
It was like a 10 minute conversation
exchange numbers, all my friends are
at this bar with me, They're off to the side.
He walks away.
I turn around.
I go like, and then I walk over to my friends, and they're like, what happened?
And I was like, honestly, I don't even know.
I was floating.
It was great.
That's amazing.
Have you flubbed a celebrity interaction?
Some of you met that you were so excited to meet that you were just like, oof, not my best.
Hmm.
Probably, oh, not my best. Hmm, probably, oh man.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Give us that one.
Whatever made you go, hmm?
We can bleep it.
We can bleep the name, but tell us the story.
Let me think about it for a second.
He's running the numbers bro you can see it
yeah
okay
basically
DJ Khaled
who I was getting in my Freaky Friday music video
yeah
the way that we shot like a few moments
at the end where I was like DJ Khaled, Ed Sheeran
Kendall Jenner, like I was in Chris Brown Khaled, Ed Sheeran, Kendall Jenner.
I was in Chris Brown's body, then I switched into these other bodies for 10 seconds.
So we really were loose in whatever their thing was going to be, what they said.
So I was on my way to DJ Khaled.
He agreed to be in the video to shoot and record his line.
That was TB determined.
So I was going to pitch him on a number of things.
I'm on the way to his house and I'm texting my director of the video.
I'm being like, look, my dream version of what I would want him to do is be completely naked.
And be like, I'm DJ Khaled.
And make some sort of dick joke
about whatever we think his dick is like.
And as soon as I sent the text,
I realized I didn't send it to the director,
I sent it to DJ Khaled.
Oh, fuck.
Okay.
As I'm on the way to, and I've never even met him.
So I'm meeting him right now, and no response. I pull up to his house, I'm like, way to him, and I've never even met him. So I'm meeting him right now, and no response.
I pull up to his house.
I'm like, oh, my God.
Like, fuck.
I ring the doorbell.
If he answers the door naked, he's a legend.
And at that point, so he answers the door, and it's totally normal.
I'm thinking, maybe he didn't even read the text. Or he did and doesn't care. I don't know. But he's acting totally normal. I'm thinking maybe he didn't even read the text.
Or he did and doesn't care.
I don't know.
But he's acting very normal.
And at that point, I was like, because of that botched interaction, I bailed on the idea of even pitching anything envelope pushing to DJ Khaled.
I was like, let's play it safe and pitch him, I'm DJ Khaled, why am I yelling?
Which is like, you know, when he gets in the song, he's like, ah, DJ Khaled. So I was like, let's play it safe and pitch him, I'm DJ Khaled, why am I yelling? Which is like, when he gets a song, he's like,
I'm DJ Khaled.
So I was like, let's just pitch him something like that.
We get up to the studio, and he's like,
so what do you have in mind?
And I'm like, what I'd love for you to do is be like,
I'm DJ Khaled, why am I yelling?
And he was like, what else you got?
And then I thought he would just have accepted that pitch. And the only other pitches I had were like, huh, what else you got? And then I thought he would just have accepted that pitch.
And the only other pitches I had were like nude dick joke related type shit.
And he was like, huh, what else you got?
And I was like, well, I was like, we could make a dick joke.
And he went, a dick joke?
Like, it felt as though he had never heard the term, the term a dick joke.
And I was like, yeah, like, you know, like, like, you know, I'm a little dicky.
Like, I make jokes about like my dick being small all the time.
He was like, let's just do the first thing.
Yeah.
Wow.
But, man, that was fucking stressful.
I was texting my director, like, in such confidence, you know,
and I'm literally texting the man.
So I'm sure I've had other interactions where, like,
I said something crazy by accident.
On the subject of the nudity, the dick jokes, season two, there's an episode that's very gay, for a less tactful way to say it.
I know what you're talking about.
I'm a repressed Indian kid.
I'm uncomfortable watching this.
How did the general public receive that episode?
And how do you feel about it either way?
Is this the one with the producer?
No, it's with Benny Vonn.
Yeah, with Benny. Let me tell you, talk about a polarizing scene.
Break it down.
You almost lost me with that one.
Hold me up.
I skipped an episode or two.
Beautiful season finale.
There's too many black people watching my show.
So,
first and foremost,
I mean, it's unbelievably likable, right? It foremost. This is.
I mean, it's unbelievably likable, right?
It's so likable.
So first and foremost.
I'd like to apologize to Mason Cameron.
No, I.
What do you have to realize is I did not.
We did not.
Me and Benny act that way.
That's crazy. Like we literally.
Can you break it down for everybody just so we're all on the same page?
This guy's my best friend.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know if it's like a Jewish, like privileged guy thing or something, but
like, and I have other friendships that are similar where like, we just like, we shower
together.
We don't do it sexually.
We're not like, you know, jerking each other off and like being sexual.
I would rather.
We're just talking naked in the shower.
Nah.
Dicks out, balls out.
Dicks out, balls out.
Nah.
Yeah, like.
So anyways.
Who's bigger?
Him.
Oh, is he?
Yeah, my dick looks like a raisin.
Have you seen it hard though?
Him?
Yeah.
You say you're a grower.
He says he's a grower, so I'm just asking a follow-up.
I'm a journalist.
I've seen him with some blood in his dick.
I haven't seen him like...
Some blood in his dick.
But half-juiced.
But look, I also thought, I was like, this is a really interesting dynamic that I think people will find funny, minimally.
We put it out, and I think, yes, there's half the people who are like, man, you almost lost me with that.
Who pitches who on Showering Together, Nate?
Me and Benny.
In real life?
It just really happened organically.
Like, how?
What situation would present?
We're in a rush.
He meets me under the lens of, like, that's, like, he reached out to me as a rapper, Lil Dicky, Dicky, who made all of his early music about how fucked up and small his dick is.
And he is just like me.
And so once we started hanging out, he was like, you got to show me your dick.
And some people would be like, what?
To that question.
That's not a weird question.
I've lived a life showing all of my high school friends have seen my dick.
Like everyone in my overnight campus.
I'm curious. Yeah. Oh, in my overnight campus. Like, you know, it's just like.
I'm curious.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, and by the way, I promise you, I don't care how like homophobic you are.
If I showed you my dick and took and walked you through it, you'd be on the ground laughing.
You'd be slapping.
You still got that skin thing that you took. Yeah, I could show you some shit that would like.
Do you have a photograph?
Show us, show us, show us.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Show us.
No, no, I try not to have photographs.
Wait. In person. Show us, show us, show us. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Show us. No, no, I try not to photograph it.
Wait, wait, wait.
In person.
Show us the dick.
Look, I promise you that I can tell if we all kept hanging out for three to five years,
you would all see my dick in time.
It's the type of thing that I definitely...
I can see.
I mean, honestly, I'm curious right now.
The show is very different than seeing the dick.
It's not that different.
I would see the dick.
It's not that different.
Wet is different.
It's not that different.
Wet makes it different.
And the time, the duration is different.
We just are really comfortable with each other.
Being naked and wet is crazy.
You have zero curiosity.
You have zero curiosity.
You're being disingenuous. Would you want to see a cross-section?
What if there was an exam or something like that?
Can you just show them and then they'll report
back to me?
The guys that season...
Season one and two I was working on. back to me. The guys that season... Please.
Season one and two I was working on.
Sorry.
We went from
not wanting to see your dick
to please,
can you just
stop it right now?
In one minute.
In one minute.
That was the gayest shit
you ever did.
By the way,
you'll cough up that piece,
my boy.
Yo, we got showers here.
The guys that...
He didn't sell the dick well, though.
The guys that scored my show,
that, like, make all the original composing for the show,
are, like, two of my best friends out here,
Henry and Jack,
and, you know, they, too, had heard, you know,
stories for years about my dick,
and, like, we...
No one feels, like, the brunt of, like, a schedule,
like, having to hand in episodes
more than, like, the composers of the score.
We have such limited time to
make all... We were just at a point where
everyone was so burnt out.
I could just tell they were
crushed about the amount of time that this
would take to get it right over the next
five weeks. I could see their
spirits so low.
I said, guys,
they were behind,
they were working, their backs were turning.
They were asking to see my dick for a while.
This wasn't sexual harassment.
Very consensual.
Their backs were to me, they were working on their keyboards.
I just got butt naked
and I just waited for them to turn around.
They turned around
and they looked
and the joy
and the marvel and the seriousness at which they took.
They literally stopped what they were doing, got up, literally bent over.
Like Jurassic Park.
They were like, I dick is like a Pixar character, where it's like it's so fucked up
and like
wrong, but so
like there's so much hope.
There's so much hope
and optimism. It feels like
it can do anything, but
it can do nothing at the same time.
Why? It's really thick.
Like, give me a thickness.
All I know is I took a string one time
and i measured the girth yeah and the length and i fell 10 percentile length 90th percentile girth
so that thick i don't it can't be but like like i just know that when i back in the day when i
would try to stick my dick in a gatorade bottle it It felt like a tight fit. Okay. So thickness. Okay.
And then after that.
Well, that seems pretty cool, actually.
It's crazy.
And also, well, it's...
What show?
But there's a lot wrong with it.
Like, what happened was a few things.
One, born with a disease, I guess you'd call it, or a defect called hypospadias, where
my pee hole is just in the wrong spot.
Condition.
Like, where your pee hole is right in the middle spot. Condition. Like, where your pee hole
is right in the middle, mine is
like right down here. Like a faucet.
Which I didn't even know was wrong until like
I was like 16 and some guy was like, why is
your pee hole there? Because I was showing men my dick
because I thought there was other things
wrong with it. Oh, let's see it here. Exactly.
Ah.
But there's versions of it. Like, look, version
one is my
that looks a lot like my dick
like a little bit
like that
see how it's like
and then version two
like it's like in the middle
of the guy's shaft
that's not
oh my god
and then version three
it's that it's nuts
good god
that's hilarious
that's a vagina
I got version one
so I'm okay there
thank god
okay yeah
version three actually
seems kind of cool
that's like a cool
maybe they're uncirced
no they're circed
well I don't know
all I know and then so
besides that so are you busting nuts out of your balls i'm busting that no no no he's version three
no version three wait but you bust all your balls yeah you shoot down yeah how do you pee
i'll tell you i pee sitting down but uh so independent of the hypospadias i also had
my urethra was tangled right point where where if I didn't get surgery, emergency surgery right away, I wasn't going to be able to pee the right way.
I wasn't going to be able to have kids.
So they had to go in and perform it.
They had to do surgery and do all this shit.
A lot of baby dick.
Take skin away.
And I don't even know the facts at hand.
I'm only here as a man just looking at my thing.
My parents, I don't want to talk to them about it.
It's a little weird.
I don't think they even know the facts at hand.
My theory is they cut off a lot of my dick skin,
and they had to replace my dick skin with other skin.
You know how your balls are ribbed?
I put this in the show.
Yeah, I saw that, yeah.
My whole dick is ribbed and it grows hair
like if I just let my hair grow down there
my entire dick
would have hair
like a tree from the Lorax
so I think that my dick
is made of balls, ball skin
so there's just a lot of
scarring and there's a
whole lot of sense and then also
I developed, I had these little poppy seeds on my
dick that like kind of developed and i was ashamed what the fuck they're not poppy seeds yeah they
look like poppy seeds everything's in bagel dots started popping up and i was like what is this i
gotta remove this one of the black dots they must have removed too far, and now there's
like, where that black dot was,
there is a hole.
So now when I pee, it goes
out of my main pee hole, which is already
in the wrong place. It's my main pee hole.
And then there's another little hole that
like, if I peed,
that's why I pee sitting down. Because you have to.
If I peed standing up, I would just piss all over my own.
It's like when you put your thumb on a hose and it just fucking.
It's like, you know, exactly that.
Or like, you know, the super soakers where like they had like a thing where you could
like turn it left and it would like go that way.
It's like that.
Your dick's like a clarinet almost.
Right.
It has multiple little holes you have to plug.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So if I pee in a urinal, which I do oftentimes in public because talk about you can't pee
sitting down in a public restroom.
It's like disgusting what men do in the stalls the stalls. I can't even believe it.
There's shit and piss everywhere.
I do it every time.
Cheek to bowl.
I don't even...
He just hardwired it.
Hardwired.
He lifts the seat up and sits right on it.
I'll plug, so I piss on my finger every time.
If I'm standing up, that means I'm willingly pissing on my finger,
and the overflow is just going down on my nuts.
Wow.
And it's small.
But girthy. but girthy but girthy and i think girthy and i i hit it for my whole life i avoid every time that like people were getting together and like playing spin the
bottle where like maybe you'd get your dick touched i was like sick that night because i was like no
one could know and then eventually i like you know just decided to put it in the show and like own it.
And the thing that I realized as an adult is like oftentimes women aren't even aware of what a dick's supposed to look like more or less.
And like there's no difference.
It's all weird to them, you know.
This is always a foreign like snout coming out of a man's hips, you know.
And I just have a different version of it that it's functional though.
And there's value to the girth, I found.
Yeah.
And it gets hard.
Do you have a girlfriend now?
Yeah.
Did you have to introduce her to it or did she know from the show?
Did she know from your material?
She knew from the show.
Okay.
And enjoy it?
Like, honestly, it was I met her so like right before my show was about to come out.
And like very early in the process, I was like, look, I'm about to come out with this show.
This is what I'm thinking in my head, what i'm saying to her yeah i'm about to come out with the show where i'm literally like maybe i was getting away with people not knowing
but now i'm putting almost a bullseye on my dick now like i feel like it's like being like well
let me invent and so i showed her the episode first scene of the first episode is me having
this entire breakdown with the urologist. And she loved it.
And she accepted me for me.
And we have a great relationship.
And there's never, she loves,
I don't even want to,
because I know she's a grown woman with parents.
I don't even want to say she loves my dick,
but she loves my dick.
Yeah, she does.
She cherishes it.
Yeah.
Wow.
Have women ever reacted with aversion
at any point in your life?
One time, and it was like the first time.
Oh, no.
Which was hard.
Oh, no.
What happened?
A girl said, wait, wait.
That's unreasonable.
That's actually, wait is reasonable.
She was like, wait.
Isn't the people supposed to be there?
And I couldn't believe it.
It was so, it was like.
Mortifying.
I'm fucked for life.
She was a slut.
She saw too many kids.
How did she know where to?
So the top of it is just like a mannequin tip?
It's like a Christmas ornament.
Sheen.
It's like a Christmas ornament.
Wow.
Just shiny.
Honestly, it looks like I have half a head
almost. Like it looks like
take your head, right? Yeah. My dickhead?
Yeah, take your dickhead. Yeah, yeah.
And then right where the pee hole is,
take a knife and just cut it in half.
So it's flat at the top?
Yeah.
Is it?
I want to show you.
It's a little flat. It's like a hammerhead. It feels like, it's a little it's like
it feels like
it's that
it's that thing
in the top
in the left
it's the left one
it's that
which isn't that weird
like I thought
everything looked like that
I didn't know
I'm going to be honest
I'm a little disappointed
yeah that's not
no no no
there's more to it
there's more to it
what do you think is weirder
what you have
or just foreskin
what would I have what I have what I have or just foreskin? What would I have?
What would I have?
Because there's a lot of things I can do.
Wait, did your parents circumcise you as well?
Yeah.
I'm like overly certain.
I'm like missing too much meat down there to the point where I think I have less sensitivity.
Wow.
But you last longer, probably.
Yeah.
Wow.
But you last longer, probably.
Yeah.
There was a phase of my life when I was like 24 where I prematurely, like I basically, I could not prevent myself from prematurely.
Like every time I had sex, I would come within the first 10 seconds.
T and B.
Touch and bust.
Because I don't have that long of a boner and
because the dick
stays relatively
with blood in it,
I would just pretend that I didn't cum.
And just keep fucking.
And then fake an orgasm whenever
appropriate.
So I was just faking orgasms for
so long. So does cum come out of both sides?
Is it the top and also the side of the middle? I gotta say,
that's a question I get asked a lot.
And the way that I cum
is I don't like
shoot cum, like
I kind of just like
ooze cum out of of the edge of my dick
like a sewer drain or something
it's like
and like when your hand is like
here
my hand is always like
I'd have to like get a camera
but I think cum does come out of that second
small hole but it just
it's just glistening
it's not gonnaistening. It's like weeping. It's glistening, yeah.
It's not going to shoot like, you know,
it's not like a wave. Oh my God.
Yeah.
It's like a sponge in a way.
It's glistening.
It's so funny
to say I'm cumming on your own balls.
But like,
it's not a lot of cum
that comes out, because I don't think I, I'm a little worried at the lack of cum.
I'm worried that, I don't know if I'm cumming enough.
I don't know.
I don't know what's normal.
There's definitely, every time I jerk off, there's just cum all over like the bottom half of my dick and like my hand.
But like it never goes anywhere.
Now if I straighten my dick, because my dick has a hitch, and I'm sorry, Mom and Dad, because they said it's enough about the dick.
And they can't believe that every interview I do default, but I really don't bring it up.
And I do think it's interesting.
It's a medical problem.
You should be able to talk about it.
If I straighten it.
That's true.
My favorite way to cum.
Yes.
Silly string.
Guy.
Is taking my little bit of a bent dick. Yes. Silly string. Guy. Oh. Is taking my, like, little bit of a bent dick.
Yeah.
And straightening it.
Oh.
And then just sitting there and waiting.
And not even moving.
And if I'm high enough and there's good shit going on in that screen in front of me.
You don't even have to jerk off to that?
By the way, I used to be able to come hands-free.
There's no way. Before I got on
Propecia for hair loss. Dave, come on.
Before I got on Propecia. I don't think you need Propecia.
I got ahead of it.
Before, yeah, before, and I don't
know, I just, you know,
I always heard people say, like, oh, I wish I started
like a year earlier, because, like, Propecia
stops you when it's tracked. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It doesn't make hair grow so I just wanted
my tracks to be stopped
anyways
before
I think it does lower
my sex drive
a little bit
Propecia
yeah
I was tragically horny
like I was
prematurely ejaculating
yeah now I have
a normal sex drive
this is great
before I literally
I could sit there
and think
and I could
and if I push
there's no way
I'm telling you
with just your mind
just my mind with the power of your mind you push the way you push when you're pooping like a cum jedi and I could sit there and think. There's no way. With just your mind.
With the power of your mind.
You push the way you push when you're pooping.
And that is a great way to come.
Have you guys had a wet dream?
There's no better way to come than a wet dream.
My best sexual moments of my life were the three wet dreams that I had.
You had three?
Damn.
I know. I want more.
Take me through all three.
Wet dream number one. We were at all three. I've never had three.
But dream number one, we were at Seeds of Peace International Camp in Maine.
Seeds of Peace?
Come on, dude.
Yeah.
That's who I know, bro.
I'm good, dude.
It wasn't really a sexually charged atmosphere.
And I just was like, it's a three-week thing.
I was like, I want to wait to come until I'm home in four weeks and jerk off.
Like, have the best jerk off of my life with the right porn.
You had a ceasefire.
How old were you?
Like 14.
Okay.
And then I came like in my dream, a girl in a red dress.
Oh, wow.
Like the Matrix.
Constantly evolving.
Can't even put like she was brunette, but like she's constantly evolving.
And I just felt like I was in my dream.
I felt like I was, you know, when you piss in reality and you piss for like a minute?
In my dream, I was pissing cum.
It was like a minute of just like free-flowing cum.
Like just pissing.
And then I woke up and I just realized I had cum.
That was number one.
Can you describe what Seeds of Pieces is so people know what the environment was that you came in?
It's a really great organization that actually brings children from different conflict groups together, like Israel and Palestine.
No way.
India, Pakistan.
So you would just rain and come on a bunch of Palestinians on the bunk below?
No, actually, my bunk was me and Indians and Pakistanis.
Oh, wow.
I was the only American in my bunk.
And they let 15 Americans in to observe the whole thing because it really is super interesting.
And, yeah, I came.
And right above me was Abhishek.
That's such an Indian name.
Yeah, I don't think he knew.
I don't think he knew.
And then I came.
One time I was celibate for a year purely out of fear.
I just found sexual experiences like because of my, I guess, neuroticism.
Just the pros never outweighed the cons.
Like whatever value that sex was having in the moment like paled on comparison to like the next day.
Yeah.
Wondering like if my life would be forever altered.
Or STDs.
Yeah, STD, pregnant.
Like it just felt like, man, what a dangerous game we're playing.
I've got to stop having sex for a year because I need to focus on more.
I was being so derailed by thinking about what went wrong.
So I didn't have sex for a year, and I had a wet dream.
I was on tour.
When you're on tour, you really want to hook up, I think.
Every city is a different opportunity, and I just was like really sticking true to it,
and I just came in my pants.
I think it was San Antonio.
Came right there.
So what do you mean?
While you were sleeping though, right?
Yeah, yeah, wet dream.
But you had pants on?
No, okay, my underwear.
Okay.
I just thought you're sitting at a bus stop in San Antonio.
How many wet dreams have you guys had?
Innumerable.
A bunch.
I can't remember.
Do you know what I'm saying when I say that?
For me, I'm like, that is the best orgasm a man can have.
It was great, but then you got to get up and change.
I had one next to my wife once.
And I remember waking up looking at her, sucker.
Yeah.
I mean, there's something really free about being able to just come with no hands and just like piss it out.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a freebie, 100%.
It really is.
Okay, so, okay.
And then the third one.
The third one was like, it was a more, it was really out of effort.
It was more recent.
I just came.
It was like a time when.
Nothing crazy.
Nothing.
It was really.
All I know is there's three.
You could look at your list.
But I wish there was more.
And watch porn and then just come without anything. I don's three. You could look at your dick and watch porn
and then just come
without anything.
I don't know
if I could do it now.
I think my sex drive
is a little lower.
But now I can certainly
straighten my dick
and just,
there's something really,
and like I said,
when I straighten it,
if I come,
there is a little more
life to the output.
It goes,
it doesn't,
it's still not doing
what I'm seeing in porn,
but there's,
it's doing more than just like
dribbling
dribbling out
there's more
there's more chutzpah
yeah
you know
chutzpah
wow
I'm scared that I have like
deep
deep funked
semen
you'll find out
I'll find out
yeah
have you looked into it
have you
no
that's the first thing
they're gonna test my semen
yeah
yeah
but like no pregnancy scares up until this point or anything like that?
No pregnancy scares.
You know, there are times where, you know, you're on spring break in Australia and the condom broke and you have to go to the morning, get the morning after pill for a girl that you don't even know.
And they don't even let you get it without the girl in australia
like you have to i didn't know and then so i had to have my friend who wasn't the girl i had sex
with come and pretend that it was her uh which was all weird uh did you hang out with the girl
did you watch her take it or you took her word for it i had to take her word for it because we
had to leave so you just would you i gotta say I was kind of under, it was literally when I, it was crazy.
When I came back with the pill and I looked for her in like the hotel area, I'm not kidding.
It sounds like a lie.
She was literally in the middle of a group of a rugby team.
So she's talking to a group of 10 men, just her like chit-chatting with 10 men.
to a group of 10 men.
Just her, like, chit-chatting with 10 men.
And I had to go up to her and be like, hey,
like, I don't know if you're comfortable with, like,
like, she knew the condom broke. She wasn't stressed.
Did she know you wanted to get the B?
No. I was, like,
so stressed. I don't know where she went.
Like, she didn't, like, it was
the type of spring break thing where
it was, like, she was an American in my spring break
program. She had her own bed.
Like she didn't sleep in the same bed.
Like in the morning I just went and got, I was like, and then I just wanted to, and then
yeah, you have to take two.
Like at least what I found in the Australian version of this was she takes one now.
I saw her take that one.
And then I had to take off and go back to where I was going when she was staying.
And I said, please, will you take it?
And I think she did.
I haven't gotten a phone call.
Did you check in to make sure she did?
Like, how do you do that?
I thought that would be really rude.
It would be rude, but you still want to know.
Yeah, but I don't want to dehumanize them, you know.
Well, literally, that's what you're doing.
You're dehumanizing.
That is true.
That is actually, definitionally correct.
Exactly.
Not dehumanize, but fully spawned humans.
There you go.
There you go.
I don't want to dehumanize.
Why are you
confronting me?
Also that.
Because I don't want to.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Okay, Dave, listen.
I have one more question.
Yes, yes, yes.
I have one more question.
So I know you're a huge fan
of Kanye West.
Oh, yeah.
How has that been?
Yes.
Are you guys still friends?
You've heard about
this whole anti-Semitism thing you've been talking about?
Apparently he hates Jews, apparently.
That's what he was saying.
Look, all I can tell you is my experience with Kanye West, which was in 2017, I ended up getting involved in his basketball run.
I literally met him on the basketball court.
First time meeting Kanye, by the way.
Full court, three on three. Me guarding Kanye by the way. Full court, three on three.
Me guarding Kanye.
Why was it full court, three on three?
Just to get that run in. And we only had six people there.
But whose idea was that? Why not keep it on the half?
I think people just wanted to exercise more.
Wow. Yeah. And so that's my first
time meeting him. How was he?
How did he play? Very interesting game.
Good shooter. I feel like a very
awkward form. He just is so weirdly good at finishing around the hoop in a way that you're like that's never
gonna work and he's like does these weird finger rolls that go in fairly can sit kanye can hoop
yeah wow he can hoop a little bit um anyways forgiven my experience with him i would like
play basketball with him for like a year like twice a week. And he would invite me to come to his workplace and show me the new music he's working on and the clothing.
And he was nothing but nice to me the entire time.
Truly was one of the nicest.
And this is my hero.
I told him to his face, I don't know if I would have the self-belief that i have if i wasn't like
my formative years weren't like listening to this other person having this like insane self-belief
in himself and like that being the soundtrack to my life and i believe that like you know what i
mean like and i owe a lot to his art for like making me my attitude is probably formed by like
early kanye and we had a great relationship he great relationship. He changed his number at some point,
to the point where he does that a lot,
I think, where he changes his number.
He probably has to at that level.
Changes his team.
And I just lost touch with him,
just the way,
and I haven't seen him in four years.
And I obviously see all the things that,
and I was surprised,
because I don't think in his heart,
Kanye dislikes Jewish people. see all the things that, and I was like surprised because like, I don't think in his heart, Kanye
dislikes Jewish people. You know, I don't, I know he knows I'm Jewish. I know he likes me.
You know what I mean? So in my heart, I feel like he probably said something and it was the wrong
thing. I'm not denying that he'll say the wrong thing often. You know what I mean? Like, I think
he might've said the wrong thing. People got outraged. I think the thing that he can't stand
the most is when people tell him what he can or cannot say
he leaned into it
I don't think you should be leaning into it
I'm not saying what he did is the right
I think there should be a sensitivity to Jewish people
you don't think that at his core there's anti-Semitism
I don't
you think at his core is rebellion
and right now this is the thing
this is really me theorizing
I'm not that close to the situation i played basketball with him like for a year
but let me tell you he was the sweetest man like and i watched him interact with a variety of
different people being really nice um and so that's i'm not i can see that with him like just
being such a i don't want to say contrarian actually just caring about freedom so much that
that's the thing.
I really think that the Trump hat, do I think he loves Trump's policies?
No.
I think he wore the hat one time.
People were like, you can't wear that.
And then he wore it for a year.
Yeah, I'm going to do it.
And I think he does feel like we're controlled a lot by media and opinion.
And I kind of see a lot of interesting thought process in terms of him being at the forefront.
He really is always ahead of the curve in a lot of things.
That being said, my mother is outraged by his comments.
Of course.
And rightfully so.
But I think at his core, I really believe he's a good guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's tough.
Yeah.
You're friends with both of them.
Who's the better artist, Drake or Kanye?
Better artist?
Artist.
Man, I can't even.
They're both.
Here's what i'll say i was in the studio one time with kanye and it was just like me and kanye and and and one other man and it was like already i'm like this is the best day of my
life like i'm like showing him the freaky friday music video before it's even out i have my best
bullet of content that i've ever had before it comes out to like show. Did he watch?
Yeah.
And he was like, that's amazing.
And then Drake walked in.
And I had no idea Drake was even coming.
Oh, so they were in the studio together?
This was a while ago.
But yes, they've worked together plenty of times. This is back in like 2017.
Yeah, they have like a real frenemy thing.
And I'm in there with both of them.
And I took the opportunity to be like, fellas, let me just tell both of you while you're here that you guys are so by far my favorite two artists of all time that whoever is third,
what a sizable gap there is between you two and that third play. And that's how I feel about them.
I think Kanye was coming when I was a kid and I love Kanye's music and like, you know,
not only just the messaging behind like the ambition but also
the musicality and like doing like that shit sounds better than ever and it's like so original
and so great and drake came along right when i became like a rapper and like man nothing has
inspired me more as an actual rapper and and musical artist than drake like that guy every
time i feel like i'm like hitting a lull as a rapper and I'm like, I'm like, I don't know how much I want to go to the studio today because like I kind of am a little bit like in a writer's blocky situation where I'm not loving.
Then Drake drops like the most inspiring shit I've ever heard and makes me like totally.
And I just and both of them have been so nice to me.
So I can't really delineate between Drake and Kanye.
They're just my favorite artists ever.
I also want to know whenever you get into a situation, like you're at a party
and there's someone that you really admire that's there,
what is your protocol for how
to interact with them? Because you're just a regular
dude from Philly. All of a sudden, now you're at these Hollywood parties.
What do you do?
I
won't...
I'll try to have an organic...
I won't be angling the whole time.
Like, okay, there's Brad Pitt over there.
I'm going to go inch my way closer to him.
Hope he sees me.
I don't, I'm not really strategic like that, but if I end up being in the same conversation,
look, they either have seen my work and honestly, if they have, they probably really respect
me and like me, or they've never seen my work and I'm just a guy.
And I think everything I've done in my career has spawned off the premise of the way I behave in real life tends to be a way that people enjoy.
Like I really just started as like an enjoyable, funny, conversationally pleasing man.
And that's how I carry myself.
So I just act the way I act with whoever I'm meeting, not with designs of winning them over
and getting them in my show,
but the same way I'd want to be liked by anybody.
I try to be liked by whoever I'm talking to
and try to be a charming version of myself.
And oftentimes it leads to positive creative synergy
if later I'm like, I have a great idea for this person.
Oh, I met them at that one party.
When I call them, they're like, I remember that guy.
He's cool, he's nice, he's not a weird guy.
A lot of artists are really introverted and don't want to be approached and don't want to be
talked to i'm just not that way like anytime a fan comes up to me and talks to me like um i find it
minimally even if it's the most brutally awkward interaction ever i'm like what a unique human
interaction that was that i'll forever remember the specificity of and be able to like
mind comedy from yeah or they'll be like really
normal and shower me with praise. Like either way
I don't lose, you know? So I just
think I approach everything the same way I'm
talking to anybody. And that I think
is why a lot of these icons
resonate with me because they can
tell that I'm just being myself. But you're comfortable
complimenting them and telling them how much you
admire them. Oh, yeah. Like I know
how much it means to me when Drake and Kanye tell me they fuck with me.
So I know how much maybe it'll mean to someone else if I tell them.
I mean, who knows?
It doesn't mean anything to Brad Pitt.
But in my email to Brad Pitt, I certainly said, you have totally defined cinema for
me for my whole life.
You know what I mean?
And it's true.
And the guys like Brad Pitt work their ass off.
So that means a lot to them.
Yeah, they want to influence
a generation and a culture.
And I think they like hearing
that like these new wave of people
wouldn't be doing-
Are inspired for sure.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I think that makes a lot of sense.
I think there's sometimes people
maybe in their discomfort
withhold their true feelings
or admiration for the person
that they're talking to.
A lot of posture.
I don't posture.
I like really keep it real at all times.
And I think that is genuinely accepted.
Like people like that, especially if it's coming from a real place.
Not like you're trying to schmooze them, but when you really, I don't know.
I've always felt that like when I really admire someone for a specific thing,
not that they're just the famous person around.
I really fucking admire them.
The conversation is so easy.
Yeah.
Because you have a million things that you want to say
that are nuanced and specific,
and they can see that you actually care about the art
or the thing that they're doing
and is the easiest flow in the world.
It's always uncomfortable, like,
when I just don't admire them and I don't care.
And in those situations, I'm not going to bother you.
I don't care how famous you are.
Yeah.
But yeah, I think that is a good point.
Lead with what you fucking care about.
I really think the core of my entire
being and the success I've had really comes
from being yourself. I think
that's the reason that I'm able to be
a white rapper making jokes
in a predominantly black landscape, because I'm just not
coming in and trying to
act like Mr. Cool Guy.
I'm just being myself.
Be yourself, guys. That's cool. We're here with Dave. Thank you so much. I'm just being myself. Be yourself, guys.
We're here with Dave.
Thank you so much. I've had so much fun.
Oh, wow. Three hours and 17 minutes of a conversation.
No, that's 3.17.
Guys,
go check out
Penith.
Go check out Ha Ha Ha
on YouTube right now.
And then go check out whatever future projects
Dave's going to cook up.
We're excited to see them.
Guys, thank you for having me.
This was so fun. This was great.
And one day we're going
to see that joint.
I really believe.
I think it's going to happen.
I think it's going to happen.
Three to five years exactly.
I do too.
I really do.
Guys.
Dave Byrd, everybody.
Thank you.