Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Nate Bargatze's $1Million Bet Against Schulz
Episode Date: May 25, 2021Join Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia, Mark and SPECIAL GUEST Nate Bargatze on this week's Flagrant 2 podcast!...
Transcript
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what's up everybody welcome to flagrant 2 we are sitting here uh today with
lewis j gomez's son's godfather yes your most proud credit i am lewis hates me for it uh
because he doesn't think i'm good i'm doing good enough as a godparent. But I think I'm stepping up. His parents are gone.
They're dead.
Yeah.
And so I am in line for this, dude.
There's – you know what I mean?
Usually when you're a godparent –
This is a big job.
Usually –
He takes after his parents.
You might be a godfather to a few kids.
It's just kind of a gesture, and you're like, I don't know.
It gives you something.
If you are not married or have families, it's like having a dog.
We're like, I don't even tell people this.
It's a gesture.
It's like, obviously, the kid's never going to you.
We're never.
If something truly happened, we're still going somewhere else.
But, you know
with Lewis it's
I'm there baby there's no one else
so you'll take it we're here with Nate Bargatze
by the way huge star
massive star the greatest
normal it was at the greatest average American
someone told me the other day
what is your title the most average
that sounds such worse
where are you the most average i'm like that sounds such worse yeah it's you know
what are you the most average comedian something like that like yeah yeah basically huge netflix
specials amazing we go way back uh like this is you were at what like one generation ahead of me
yeah in new york yeah that's who's your crew? You, Giannis maybe? DeRosa, Vecchione. DeRosa, Vecchione. Giannis. Big J?
Big J was, he was already there.
He was probably a year above me.
Jake Metzger was like a year above me.
Right, right, right, right.
Yeah, that's what we always talk about in New York.
You know, like, were you in Norman?
Yeah, I think like Norman was a guest around my time.
But we didn't, I don't know, cross paths as much.
Like, we were over by like the Village Lan't know cross paths as much like we were over by
like the village lantern
right right
yeah
so we were just
kind of like
grinding
we were on our own bubble
yeah the lantern
I was there too
oh yeah
it was
yeah I always talk about that
because I think people
we gotta tell one story
you gotta tell one story
I wanna say one thing
you'll preface it
you'll preface it
I just wanna say one thing
you are one of my favorite comics
period
so funny
we always bring you up when it comes to like who are clean, but you don't even know.
Yes.
Yeah, that's the whole goal.
You don't even know.
You're just laughing at this person.
They're funny.
You don't realize they're clean.
One of the GOAT clean comics ever, I think.
There you go.
There you go.
We're building you up.
We're building you up for a reason.
Having said that, nobody, and this is a compliment i mean it but nobody bombs
better than you it's a fucking joy to watch if you're not or you feel like you're not doing well
even just the lines that you'll have the shit that you'll say is like fucking genius to me
so there was moments of the village land like we would all eat our fucking dicks oh yeah it could
be a very rough very rough but it could be a great room.
Yeah.
And I remember you telling me that you had a set once at the Lantern.
And you described it like this.
You kept looking behind you to see if there was somebody else doing comedy.
Do you remember this?
I think so.
I do remember a bunch of stories from there. Because the bathroom was behind you. The? I think so. I do remember some, a bunch of stories from there.
Because the bathroom was behind you.
The bathroom was behind you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then people would walk on stage.
Oh, yeah.
They would walk behind you on stage,
which is the confidence as an audience member,
the little respect that was shown.
There's a banquette on that side.
You're on stage, and some people just walk on stage
and then walk behind you to go to the bathroom.
Okay.
I mean, yeah, the audacity.
And I remember one other time I had,
so when we do these shows, you're barking.
So we're out front being like, hey, we got a great conversation.
We're trying to get people in the show.
Begging people to come.
So we get three people in there.
Someone's got to go up because we've got to keep those three We're trying to get people in the show. Begging people to come. So if we get three people in there, someone's got to go up
because we've got to keep those three
so we can hopefully get four and then have seven.
And if we get seven, I mean, it's like,
we're going to probably be tape.
You know, we're going to record that show.
So it's the best show of our life.
So I remember one time we're on stage.
I'm on stage and these two couples
are sitting in the front row.
And then these two girls just come on stage
and take a picture with me.
Not because I'm anybody,
but just being like, oh, we're at this con.
And didn't ask.
Just stood up.
During the jokes?
Yeah.
I mean, I don't even know if they thought the show started.
It was like I was a wax museum.
Like I was a wax, you know.
They just stood up and stood next to me
and they smiled and they
took a picture and they're like oh and then they sat back down and didn't even i mean there was no
like hey man thank you do you mind if we do this or appreciate it none of that it was like they
just did it yeah and you're like okay and you just gotta let it happen because you're like who am i
you know i don't you know yeah we're nobody yeah absolutely nobody but a great you know room to
kind of break your
break your spirit but also give you some confidence that's what was so great about new york
so people always because i was you know i'm a new york comic and that's where i learned i was there
for eight and some years yeah but you go up and you're in front of uh three people and four people
and seven people and that's just what and like doing that and then uh that just
makes you you just get so much better you need to do it i mean multiple times a night yeah you know
like not like not like it's like once you're in for a few years six people is like your average
you could do three shows for a combined total of nine people oh easily easily easily yeah that was like a regular and
we did and we wanted to go up yeah yeah i mean you're just like yeah i'll go up
i don't know about someone drops in i think i got so much better at crowd work because you can't
just do your bits for four people it's so fucking weird yeah so you'd have to like talk to them and
try to find a way to weave your bit in there and that's the thing i think you could just it ended
up you could see much more natural doing it yeah you had a weird trajectory
though man because like most people come to new york to make it yeah and you came to new york
got really good at stand-up and then you moved to tennessee yeah and then you fucking exploded
yeah well i moved to la for two years then moved moved back tennessee but you know what you were trying to like you were like you had a sitcom well i mean i've yeah i've done that
i mean for like 10 years i've sold a show every year and uh we've only shot one pilot really but
it's like it just is what it is it's like i what the wonderful thing about it is you can try it
and then you got your stand-up that's why i love stand-up so much where you can really go do these
kind of things and i mean the first you really want to do them but now the longer i get you're
like yo i don't need this show like yeah uh stand-up is kind of becoming is a much bigger
thing than it ever was yeah and so you can kind of just you're like yeah i got my thing going my
world going i mean that's you kind of you got your world growing here yeah like you start seeing people's where you go like oh i'll
just you know in a weird way it's like what sandler did adam sandler's got his world like he did it
with like in the movie thing but it was like it's his movie yeah you know you're going because of
his movie and he makes a bunch of movies and so it's like everybody you just build your world
yeah and then everybody's like well i like that guy So then I'm on board with all of his world.
He's like my inspiration in a lot of ways.
Like the way he models.
Because he puts all of his guys that he writes the movie with in the movie as well.
So it's the same characters.
They're just kind of playing like different versions of the characters that we already saw and we love.
So you don't have to really reestablish.
Like when I see Adam Sandler in a movie, I'm like, I know who he is more or less.
So you don't need to explain the backstory it's fucking adam sandler
yeah right and um but yeah they just did such a such a fucking great job with it but i i don't
know you had this like crazy rise it was it was so weird well the special started uh so i shot
did the commentator special then i did it then it started on netflix it did a half hour and now you
know i moved the big quote, I was like,
one of my favorite quotes,
Jerry,
I read this book,
Jerry Wintraub.
And he was like,
he like produced like Oceans 11, 13.
Like he ended up being a big Hollywood guy.
Yeah.
And he was in New York
and he was working at,
like he was an agent.
Like, I mean,
this is like the 50s or something,
or 60s.
Yeah.
And he said in the book,
he just said he moved because he knew
anytime he started feeling comfortable, it was time to make a change.
And so, I mean, I read that book, and I moved.
I read that, and I was in three months we moved to L.A.
because I knew it made so much – it hit hard.
So, you know, it was like I was very comfortable in New York at that time.
At that point, I'm past at every club. I'm not really having to like chase these spots like i used to
and so i was like i'm very comfortable and i knew if i stay here i'm gonna remain this comfortable
and i'm not gonna put myself into a different comedy scene where i have to feel like i have
to prove myself again yeah and so then i moved la and then it was like i was in la and then you're
like now you're like now
you're around all these people that you know i don't know that all that scene out there yeah and
so you're like oh now i've got a i've got to go murder in front of these like it just makes you
kind of like you gotta get hungry yeah yeah because it's very easy you get very you know
but your thing was interesting because like i always i had this feeling right i would always
tell like these people when i would sit down at these meetings,
especially when I saw your rise, and I was like, dude, if Netflix was smart.
I actually told Netflix this.
I was like, you shouldn't do anything with me.
You should do stuff with people like Nate
because I bet you the majority of your subscribers like Nate.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
There's a lot of people in new york
and la and we like they set the tone for what is fucking cool or whatever that bullshit is but
there's a lot of people in the middle of the country a lot more people a lot more people
that are gonna fucking watch this guy and seeing you explode was super validating but and then
seeing you like get it again and then people really find you and then weirdly seeing like
my friends on the east coast and west coast find you i thought was really cool yeah because i was
wondering if you were going to cross back yeah like you learned how to kill in new york then
you kind of explode in the middle and people like finally we have our guy this is great it's really
nice and not somebody that like is curated or like manufactured to satisfy us yeah you know
like that's what la
will do a lot they'll be like let's turn one of these guys from california into a good old country
boy oh yeah dude every show's that like uh when we pitch these shows you know because they have
like a show where it's like that one show was like these california people moved in nebraska
yeah well they just go make fun of people in nebraska i hate yeah yeah and they're like you're
like who are you dude like Who do you think you are?
Dude, that still makes me so mad.
That's my issue with fucking Oliver and my issue with Trevor Noah.
It's like Alabama's a punchline.
It's like, you just got here.
Yeah.
The fuck do you know?
Yeah.
I don't understand where you get off.
Even making fun of conservatives or Democrats, I don't even care.
Okay, you come here, you choose a side because it kind of identifies with you a little bit
more but like you actually really have never hung out with conservatives. If you
moved here from England and you moved directly to New York you don't know any
conservatives. And if you do you know New York conservatives which are not
conservatives. So it's like the idea that they could go in and talk about
like how greedy conservatives are and it's like you moved here for one reason yeah so you can make money yeah
you didn't come here to make less money than you did in london or south africa right yeah like you
came here to make money and this is the new punching bag yeah but don't act like you're
fucking better than oh they're the they they i was just in la from here and it was like yes i don't
know i met someone and they're like uh i said i'm you know
they're like where do you live i go nashville and they were like oh so you're like an anti-vaxxer
like and they're kind of joking but they're not and you go yeah yeah you know what this is the
problem is you just do you know how crazy that is yeah yeah hey you're just going you don't know me
at all you're just going because i said i'm from yeah yeah tennessee yeah yeah and you immediately
say like i'm an anti-vaxxer no the north but you immediately say, like, I'm an anti-vaxxer. Now, that being said.
No, the North.
But that being said, real quick, like, you are an anti-vaxxer.
Dude, don't be bringing your dumb vaccines all over my arm, dude.
Like, you know.
Where are these vaccines coming from, dude?
I don't know who this guy is.
Someone said they were walking around Walmart.
And, like, they were trying to get, because they said, I'm sure they read this somewhere.
Who knows if this is even true. But they they're walking around Walmart and like uh the south and
just being like hey we're give you your vaccine you can do it right now and then people are like
saying no to it you're like yeah man dude if I was shopping at Walmart and a guy walked up with
a needle and was like hey man do you mind if we just do this I'd be like no like you're just out
of there's no content I'm not in a doctor's office. You're just in.
Some random guy named Pedro walks up to you.
I'm buying flip flops, and then you're like, what's that?
I don't even want my glasses from Walmart.
I'd be passing that section.
I'm like, who the fuck is getting glasses?
Who's getting, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, are you vaxxed or not?
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have a weird oh boy let's go they were right they're 100 right about you no i don't know if i
would want here's i always have a weird thing i don't know if i want to say it because i don't
like i don't like when people show pictures of them getting vaccinated yeah yeah so i don't
ever be an influence on anybody getting one or not getting one. I'm not saying I did one way or the other.
I'm not even saying I wouldn't ever tell you,
but it's like, why do you need to know if I, like, that's not.
I just want to know if that guy was racist and right.
Or stereotypical and right.
Yeah, so it's like, well, then it's the opposite of everything I just said.
Yeah.
What a piece of shit to just judge me based on how i talk and how i look i don't want to
tell them yeah i mean you just told everybody if what i mean i think we know no you don't because
i also the way that you walked in here i know and i know which one it is so you're doing this
you can't get that you can't get that new york out it's pfizer bro oh you know you're a pfizer dude you're a fucking pfizer dude are you serious that's pretty good
because i've had uh i have i've had one oh you're just going i've only done one you're just going
half in well wait are you really pfizer did i get that right yeah yeah amazing uh i only did
yeah because i left and so i couldn't do the second one so the plan is
do the second one
and get back
I'll be honest with you though
that first one
you want to be like
that's good right
we're good
I think you're good
the second one
everybody's like
dude I get so sick
after the second one
you're like
how many do we got to do
it's like
you do wonder that
you're like
can I do
but
Mark's an anti-vaxxer
he's not doing it
that's not true
you are the most anti-vaxxer compared to no no he is anti-vaxxer. He's not doing it. That's not true. You are the most anti-vaxxer.
Compared to what?
No, no.
No, no.
Yes, he is.
He is anti-vaxxed.
Bro, Alex said he's lit.
Alex is anti-vaxxed, but he's black.
Black people don't get the vaccine.
Alex said he's not getting it, and he's forging documents.
He said he was going to forge the documents using mine.
I'm going to give him my vax card.
I'm just reluctant, and I'm going to get it when it's inconvenient.
Right, right.
The only reason I got it is because my girl signed me up.
We came down here with antibodies, and we were like, fuck it. Let's go. right the only reason i got is because my girl signed me up we came down here with antibodies and we're like fuck it let's go yeah like everybody here got
corona yeah and we're like that's that's the vaccine that's the vaccine yeah you get it and
then that's the same but do you feel like you can't like say these things you feel like it
will piss off your audience no no no not make them mad i don't uh the audacity of like when people
like either have
whatever platform makes me furious
if someone says they have a platform
Maitland is a platform
but I don't use it for
a platform I use it for
I watch you talk about Teddy Roosevelt
and you know
we're just making dumb jokes
but I'm saying I don't want to be a platform
propping up these conservative presidents bro when i yeah it was teddy roosevelt i don't have no clue actually it was democrat like
tax the fuck out of people i think everybody would i don't know anything about history
they're uh but it's the idea of when everybody says they they're like they're you know it's
like you got a platform you got to use it you're like how about you don't have to use it yeah i
don't have to use my platform i didn't go to college dude i barely met in high
school you don't need anything from me i don't know what i'm doing like i don't you should never
listen to me right and these celebrities like when they think they have to like drives me
infuriating tell someone you're like don't get me started do you know how hard it is you're an
anti-platformer i'm an anti-platformer yeah yeah that's exactly yeah that's what the podcast was
started we talk about we're just trying to be funny it's great and it's like uh super funny
it's in my stand-up and we love weber by the way huh weber oh aaron weber yeah he's great he opened
for us in uh nashville oh yeah yeah and he's just super funny it's uh who's the other guy
brian bates he came out with me for a lot and everybody calls him like uh some reason that
listeners started calling him names.
They call him like Bacon Bits and Breakfast.
They won't call him by his regular name.
What did I say? He has a spokesperson in it.
He could definitely be a spokesperson
for breakfast.
Just the meal. The general.
I mean, that's like, yeah.
That's a big... You know, that was Teddy Roosevelt
was the teddy bear's name after
him, which we talked about, which how crazy is that?
That's all you know a teddy bear is.
There's not like I don't even know the name before that.
Right.
And so they made the teddy bear and that's in honor of him.
But he wasn't even like cuddly.
That motherfucker.
He was a badass motherfucker.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I mean, I wasn't there, and it wasn't my decision.
Right.
But you're acting like I was a part of this choice.
Like, I got to defend it.
It's new information to us, though.
It's just...
It is...
That's what they did in honor of him.
Right.
But I'm saying, teddy bears, that's how you describe that thing.
Yeah.
That's about the highest honor you could get.
To have a stuffed animal named Daphne.
You can go any store.
Yeah, you don't.
You can go any store and you have any teddy bears.
Yeah.
And it's not a specific thing.
It's in general.
Mmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's pretty nice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, you said you don't know anything about anything.
No.
What do you know the most about?
A lot of things.
Okay.
And, no.
I don't know. I don't know i don't know sports sports fan yeah i'm a big sports fan golf like uh that kind of thing you were getting into those like like
celebrity golf tournaments yeah early yeah i'm trying yeah i'm getting a little bit more now now
but now it makes sense yeah but i think it was like, you were in early, and I was like, oh, shit.
Who is that guy's celebrity?
That's when I thought that you really had it popping.
You were golfing with famous people.
And I was like, oh, shit, is Nate blowing the fuck up?
Yeah, it started.
When you're the celebrity in a group at the beginning,
you're a big disappointment to that group you play with.
Like, they come up, dude, and they're like what's up who we got yeah we got jimmy johnson you gotta be you gotta go put on a show like you're like they're like what do you do
i'm like i'm a comedian and you gotta bring oh you gotta be fucking funny bro you gotta be so in your but you wanted them you're like well i don't know why y'all pay a
little more money and you get up a little like this is i'm this value for if you donated more
to this fucking charity than you'd be doing with papa john's yeah instead you got this you got me
yeah uh so yeah at the beginning you are like it's embarrassing like because you got to go in
was it at all like uh i don't even know what the word that i'm looking for right now but like
you know how we coastal elites like new yorkers i'm guilty of this like we think everything's the
fucking best this at the other and then the second corona and the pandemic happened all these like
liberal states shut the fuck down the conservative states stay open everybody's partying and then immediately all these like liberals that got a little bit of money fled
ourselves included right was it a little bit like nice to see or was there part of you like oh now
you want us like we're funny we're a joke before yeah but now when you want to go out for a slice
of pizza yeah yeah you want yeah yeah it was uh i mean nashville we have so many people moving
there from california yeah and uh i mean they're coming it's a it's insane there's like a problem 100
people a day moved to nashville and then it's a lot of people from california the wonderful thing
is i think the maybe some of the a lot of them going to austin yes and so like that's better
that's better in austin well i think you go yeah you they our goal in in Nashville is you're like, the ones we don't want go to Austin.
Let's go to Austin.
And then the other ones come to Nashville.
I heard they just made Jews illegal in Nashville.
Yeah.
Oh, then we got to move there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is that true?
I don't know.
I mean, I didn't see it in the paper.
It was in the newspaper.
It was in, yeah.
No, yeah.
I don't.
We, you know, I never met a Jewish person,
so I live...
Is that...
That was a stereotype.
Here's your first one.
The, no, I've been, now I'm in,
now I've met, I've met a bunch.
You've met enough.
You've met your first one.
My buddy, Sven Wexler,
I started comedy with,
he, or we moved to New York
but it's funny
that was always a stereotype
but they said
some people hate Jews
and you're like
I've never even
I grew up in Texas
I didn't know
I knew Jews existed
but I didn't know
I didn't know that
that was a story
it's like a
well because white supremacy
but like they hate
and you're like
I don't know dude
you're like
I'm just not around
any Jewish people like I don't yeah I you're like i'm just not around any jewish people like i
don't yeah i was funny i thought there just were none there coastal east is from texas yeah and
they treat white southerners the way they think you treat black people like they look at you and
they're like look at this fucking uneducated ignorant lazy blah blah and that's how they
think you treat black people you know it's funny i don't mind doing it but like if people from
outside of america do it i'm like yo slow down those are our guys to make fun like
exactly it's like you can make fun of your little brother but nobody else can make fun of your
little brother but i wonder yeah i don't know you guys don't have that relationship with us you guys
just kind of like hate us up north huh we uh it's tough because you know when i lived there so like yannis right we embraced you bro
yeah i know we loved i know well i love dude i love new york and all my friends are from new
york and uh but when like yannis was a perfect example so when yannis when me and yannis moved
there yannis would always tell me i have no culture right and i was like dude you've never
lived three blocks from your mom. I was in New York.
I've changed my whole world.
And just because you've got a guy from Nigeria and Jewish people and whatever,
and everybody from all these, you think you get the world because they live near you?
And then I had an old joke about it where I said the melting pot thing,
where it's like New York's is a big melting pot,
but it's just a bunch of pots
that don't live next to their own kinds of pots.
I mean,
you're not mixed in at all.
At all.
You have a Chinatown
that you're like,
don't come into this area,
Little Italy.
And you're like,
y'all hate each other.
Like,
I don't understand.
Yeah.
So that's what,
so moving to New York was,
yeah.
It's a melting pot
until like another ethnic group
encroaches on your neighborhood. Yeah. And then it's a big problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then we're not really a stew at all York was, yeah. It's a melting pot until like another ethnic group encroaches on your neighborhood.
Yeah.
And then it's a big problem.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then we're not really a stew at all.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ask the Italians in Brooklyn how much of a stew they have.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's all the same dude.
It's a big issue.
It's all the same dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So no, we, you know, New York is, yeah, I don't know.
It's like you would feel that though.
It's like everybody just thinks you're like, what are you, like some.
Everybody prejudges you.
I remember a guy saying it once where they were like, it was like this gay dude.
He was like, oh.
He goes, you know Nate's from the South or something.
They're like, oh, he's like a Republican that hates gays and stuff.
And you're like, you're doing what you think I do to you and I don't.
And you're doing it to me.
And that's what's so crazy.
And then they tell you that to your face.
Like, that person that said I was an anti-vaxxer,
there's some seriousness to what she said when she said that.
And you want to go, I'm not, I didn't walk in here and think you're one thing.
Yeah.
I'm meeting you and just enjoying talking to you.
Yeah.
But you immediately say that.
And you say it to my face.
Yeah.
And, like, don't even care. Yeah. That's crazy. Where you're like that and you say it to my face yeah and like don't even care yeah
that's crazy where you're like you're like and then you're like why do you hate us you're like
i don't know maybe that maybe every you think i'm stupid if i get an audition for uh they send
you a movie audition to play a southern guy and you're like you got to be i mean you're just the
most i remember doing movie auditions and they're being like you're be, I mean, you're just the most, I remember doing movie auditions
and they're being like,
you're gonna have to yell the N word.
You're like, why would I do that?
And they're like, oh, that's because what y'all do.
Like, you think that's what we do, dude?
And they think that is, you're in just a movie
and that's the best part you think I can be
is just this guy?
You're like, and you just don't do them.
What was the movie?
Dude, you in 12 years
a slave would be hysterical yeah that is what y'all did what in 12 years a slave would be accurate
that'd be yeah there'd be a lot of yelling yeah a lot of inward yelling yeah yeah but i mean i you
know i grew up in i was born in 79 so i don't know what to do we weren't doing it yeah
they weren't it wasn't happening i mean they talk about that a lot with
like they think like you know white supremacy like dude i wasn't i've been in the south my
whole life i've never met a clan member yeah i've never been around one like i don't know
yeah you know i'm not saying that they don't exist you gotta say that all the time but like
i don't and they're not around me it's not like i'm just in the car with them not as prevalent as people make it out to be i never they make it like
they're just i mean like they're yeah like they're running the town yeah you're like i don't know
dude we just grew up and like we just grew up like everybody else grew up and why do you think that
is you think it's just like movies and shit oh yeah i think so i think so i mean when you were
growing up watching tv and movies was it annoying we're like why does everybody talk like me stupid uh or you don't even
realize it until you don't realize it i didn't realize it till i moved to chicago like it was
because you know when you're in nashville you're just around your you know everybody went to church
yeah everybody went to like it was uh everybody was just there was you know like if you were a
christian growing up i mean everybody was I mean you went to church
like you would ask people where they go to church
over like where they go to high school
like that would be a very yeah you're like what church you go to
then they would just tell you like oh yeah I know
I have a buddy that goes to that church like it was just
everybody went to church and
then you moved to Chicago when I moved to Chicago
I remember someone they were angry that
like I grew up going to church and I was like
okay and because then they were angry that, like, I grew up going to church. And I was like, okay.
And because then they, but they think Christians, like Southern Baptist, they think, oh, this
is crazy.
And you're like, dude, it's just a regular church.
Like, we weren't, but to their head, they're like, you're holding snakes.
You're like doing all this kind of stuff.
And you're like, we're not doing any of this stuff.
Like, I don't, and you got to defend it.
And they're like, no, that's what y'all do.
I mean, they are, people are so judgment so judgmental yeah and they judge so hard yeah and you know stuff bad stuff
exists but you're like i don't you know there's a lot of regular people that are just minding their
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Let's get back to the show.
What were you shocked by when you came to New York and L.A.? Well york and la well probably not as much la right because you've already experienced but
like new york specifically what were you shocked by were you expecting it to be way different and
then it just wasn't uh i mean it was overwhelming i remember i'm trying to think of what specifically
i remember coming out of subway once and being just very confused and like you're just it's very very overwhelming it's so many people yeah uh i guess like everybody you know i didn't
think they were as mean as everybody said they were yeah i thought new york wasn't like that
yeah like uh you always hear that everybody's just super rude there and you're like once you're
there i resent that yeah we're nice people i think it's
the people who move to new york that feel like they have to live up to the stereotype of a movie
they start acting mean towards one another but like actual new yorkers are usually pretty helpful
i think there's just an impatience like yeah to get where the fuck they need to get and if you're
in the way of that you're a problem yeah but you know walking slow you're a problem yeah yeah but
you know it's not going to be like it's not going
to be a long-drawn thing like you're not going to fight about it like right they they yell at you
and then they forget about you and like so it's like you kind of learn to not take things personal
yeah and then uh because you're like it's yeah it's like dude they want to just go and you're
like oh yeah sorry man and then they just roll by you when when you were like because you probably
came in new york and you were at the tail end of like the seller's heyday, right?
Like the old guard at the cellar, you know, Patrice.
I was 04.
But when you actually started hanging around those guys.
Yeah.
Like, did you be friends?
Like, were you close with Patrice at all?
Yeah, yeah.
I used to sit in his car at Boston Comedy Club.
And so he wouldn't get a ticket.
While he was on stage?
Yeah.
Because you couldn't park, you know, right in front of Boston. Yeah, I remember. And so I would go sit in his car. It was the. And so he wouldn't get a ticket. While he was on stage? Yeah. Because you couldn't park right in front of Boston.
Yeah, I remember.
And so I would go sit in his car.
It was the comedy village when I was there.
Yeah, yeah.
It flipped over.
Okay, so you were there when it was still the Boston.
Yeah, I barked there.
That was my first barking thing in New York, too.
Okay, okay.
So Patrice, was he ruthless to you?
He was.
So I've talked about it, but he liked... I learned quick to kind of just whatever he would think I am, I would just go with it.
So like, he would be like, y'all not believe in dinosaurs?
And I'd be like, no, yeah, I don't.
Like, I would just say whatever he wanted.
You know, I've never thought about that ever.
I've learned about dinosaurs.
Like, but the fact that he thinks we didn't i learned i was like well i'm yeah i was
like no we don't believe in dinosaurs i would just go with it right and uh so he was like very nice i
mean we would go to his house for uh fourth the barbecue yeah and like my wife would go over there
and then uh he was very nice to my wife and he uh because she would always like i don't know like
help clean up after something he like loved that yeah Yeah, yeah. And so Patrice was always very, very cool.
I met him.
I mean, until the last day, every time I talked to him,
I was like, hey, Nate, I'm friends with Big Jay.
I would say that.
And at the end, he'd be like, yeah, dude, I know who you are.
But you're like, I don't know.
He was the best I ever saw.
But I was at their-
Same.
He was at Burr his hbo one night stand
taping you were you were i was there holy fuck and so okay let me just set this up to everybody
listening there is like an unbelievable bit that if you don't watch the whole thing i don't think
it resonates the same way the whole thing with the pussy beam is like what would you do if you
got in a horrible car accident where you lost your pussy? Yeah.
You know that bit?
Yeah.
If you just see that within like the clip online,
it doesn't get the full effect
because there's like 20 minutes
of buildup
where the audience
is kind of fighting back and forth
and they're laughing
but at the same time
some of the women,
the artists
are giving them some pushback
and they're looking at him
like he's this sexist
and you're objectifying us
and all that.
When he dropped that,
HBO also for the record used to do half hour comedy specials and apparently they filmed Burr and Patrice the same night yeah so what so they did what was the reaction in have you heard
that bit before or I don't think not I don't know if I even like remember I won't remember that
specific uh but then I remember them warming up to
it like or during running their set right yeah and uh it was running at the boston uh i remember
one night i recorded i timed patrice's set because it was like they had to do a half hour yeah yeah
and so when he got done i was like hey you did like 36 minutes and i remember him being like
all right and then walked away from me and this is like
because you did it as a favor for he didn't ask he no he didn't ask no no not at all dude like he
this was like young comic you know trying to i think i'm supposed to do like i think at that
time well that you have it's called a half hour so you have to do 30 exactly i have no concept of
editing or like you know maybe you gotta do 29 minutes
or you 38 minute like whatever the concept it doesn't really matter and i just and i'm like
so i tell him like thinking i'm helping him he's you know i think he was like all right man like he
it did not matter at all and so the funny thing with so i went i went to one taping so the first
tape they did two tapings first taping burr went first patrice went second the one taping. So the first tape, they did two tapings. The first taping, Burr went first, Patrice went second.
The second taping, they would have flipped.
Yeah.
So I was at the Burr first, Patrice.
Yeah.
So what I remember the most about it was that was Burr's coming out.
And so when Burr went up, I mean, dude, I remember in that audience,
this is when he's doing the hard one.
It's hard to breathe.
The higher you go in Harlem.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where he's like, you get like a white guy gets up there, 120.
So you're like,
ah,
you guys have to breathe up here.
Like that.
So the shoes joke,
the dirty sneakers.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Yeah.
I remember Burr murdering so hard.
And I remember the audience,
uh,
it was just,
they didn't know what they just saw.
Like he was so good that you could tell that they were like,
yeah,
who was that again?
Because Burt wasn't known.
People in comedy knew him, but he wasn't.
I went to Caroline's to watch him,
and they closed the curtain at Caroline's.
He wasn't selling out.
Dude, he murdered so hard.
And then I think Patrice actually, after him,
it took a minute.
Had a tough time following him.
Yeah, and I always say, it's not like Patrice is not good enough to follow him.
It's just the room has to switch.
It has to reset.
The room has to be.
And Burr murdered.
And Patrice probably did it to Burr when they flipped.
But I just remember, because Burr, I think, was the one that kind of, you know, Patrice, it didn't really go crazy after that.
He, you know, his elf in the room is what really was the big one.
We were at that time.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we went to that.
So that was unreal.
But Burr's, that Burr to me, that was, he did that.
And then the ONA thing happened right after that, I believe.
And then, so then it was like all right bird's gone and then so then we then we go to caroline's and that's when
you know you're like hey can we go watch and they're like no no you can't go in no room and
you're like ah it is kind of crazy and i guess people listening right now you're probably looking
at most specials and assuming everybody there is a fan but back in the day before you were popular
you did a special when you were kind of unknown.
Oh, they would pay the audience for free.
They'd give out tickets for free, and they'd pay them.
Yeah.
Wow.
So like all the Comedy Central specials,
the half hour or what was it called?
Even the premium blend or something like that.
Oh, yeah, even the hour sometimes.
Sometimes even hours.
You can't sell a theater out.
Yeah.
Like it's, you know, so it's like, yeah, they're not,
it's not like now. Now it's like you don't have a you can't sell a theater out yeah like it's you know so it's like yeah they're not it's not like now now it's like you don't get a special unless you can sell out yeah that theater
yeah they just happen to be taping your sold-out show that's what the special is yeah that's the
best part is like now you can kind of go like all right i'll pick i'll go to that market anyway and
you sell tickets and you're like let's just film this yeah and then and then so you pick where you
want to film which is it's much different you're in front of your crowd and yeah uh but yeah then you
you have people they don't know why they're there when you film do you like being fish out of water
for a special for something you're taping do you like being a little bit of a fish out of water to
that audience like they know who you are they're familiar with you but at the same time they like
the fact that you're a little bit different yeah or do you like being home team
for a special specifically yeah not just i mean well the greatest you know one thing seinfeld
said a long time ago they said what the only thing that you miss like before being famous yeah and uh
winning them over yeah yeah and so and i look i can still win i can i can go to a comedy club and it's if it's not my audience
i'm not saying everybody just knows who yeah you know comics we're not it's not like it's
you know i mean like david spade goes up you're like yeah everybody knows who david spade is yeah
but with us it's like yeah our audience knows but i can easily go to a lot of people and they have
no idea who yeah yeah yeah uh but so it's when you do a special it's gonna be kind of
tougher now to do it in front of a crowd that doesn't know you yeah uh and you mean you want
it to i think i just would want my audience there now just because we're there but uh it's like
depends on where you film it like i don't you know the last one i filmed in la and this next one
we think about like i don't know where I would want you know
possibly San Francisco or like I like filming in maybe a different place yeah that's from where
I'm at yeah just age just to be like you hear this it's unique what they're hearing yeah you
know if you're a San Francisco comic and you got a comic going up there doing like some super
progressive like woke stuff it's they probably heard versions of those ideas
throughout their life yeah right maybe throughout their week right they've heard that take on the
riots or whatever it is yeah but like when you go tape in a place where they don't know your
perspective your voice is interesting yeah you know like what you're saying your opinions are
interesting they know who you are they're ready for what you have to do but it's still refreshing
it's like yo fine yes this guy's different yeah he's different and so maybe you don't win them over but you still get to be
unique yeah you know to them i hate the winning them over i'm so glad that's done you don't like
that that's stupid i fuck it was my least favorite part of comedy the first three minutes of comedy
sucked yeah hated it yeah because i have to like explain my it's like i would always look at some
comics that they're like a big fat comic could just be like hey i'm not gonna fall over on you they'd like do some fucking hacky yeah whatever
the mic so you can see me exactly like but what it did is essentially calmed everybody and got
everybody on the same page like i understand the magic trick that they're doing right and but when
i would go up there it's like i'm like i don't want to fucking i know what you're thinking yeah
like i don't care about that yeah i just want to talk about what i want to talk about unfortunately i have to like you don't know what i am i jewish
am i fucking italian like nobody understands like what i am i use some like hip-hop vernacular so
like there's all this confusion amongst the strangers so i just have to start out with a
really funny fucking joke yeah and then everybody goes okay whatever he is uh that's fine yeah you're
handcuffed by your lack of uniqueness
in the sense that y'all are just straight white dudes.
Like, there's, like, Patrice, the elephant in the room,
when I walk out there, well, now it's more normal.
But before, I don't see a lot of comics that look like this guy.
So if I don't address it, they're going to be like, hey, buddy.
It's almost like a guy, like, when I would do shows in Harlem,
I just wouldn't talk about it, or the Bronx, or whatever, and I'd bomb.
And then I realize, it's like, they don't see people like me outside of the bodega yeah so it's almost like a guy in a
wheelchair going up and just doing jokes you're gonna be like not acknowledging this is not what's
interesting to me about you yeah it's it's a weird thing it's like a gift and a curse right yeah but
the gift to finish real quick to your point to your point the gift is i know exactly what to
talk about when i get up there yeah your curse is what the fuck do you talk about when you get
up there you think i am yeah you got an accent at least so something i've got an italian name
nate bargatze yeah and then he goes up there starts speaking in a southern accent there's
gonna be a little confusion i'm sure you had bits about that in the beginning yeah you had a funny
joke about uh yeah italian family i'm italian family yeah uh it was do you remember all your
old no it was something about like he just stayed there or something yeah it was like you remember all your old no it was something about
like he just stayed there
or something
yeah it was like
I remember this bit
yeah I'm blanking on that
yeah we're Italian
and
something
I don't know
anyway
but like
I would think about that
like there were these
like a gay comic
that doesn't present
as super gay
yeah
that dude's gotta come out
every time
like the hardest thing in his life probably was coming out.
Oh yeah.
And every time he goes,
hi guys,
I'm gay.
And then you got a few dudes in the audience.
He hears his parents reaction every time.
He has to relive it.
So it's like,
I understand how that's tough, but at the same time, and I it's like i understand how that's tough but at the same time and i wonder if like
i always wonder that like with gay dudes in life if they lean into the femininity whatever that
word is of homosexual yeah it's like i don't gotta explain to you what i am yeah like i'm
i'm well so you do gotta learn so i do think the benefit I do have is the Southern accent.
So I mean, I was always-
And you didn't change your shit at all.
Some people move to New York and all of a sudden they start talking like us.
Yeah.
And your accent got stronger.
It was worse.
Like when I first met you, you were just speaking like neutral.
Yeah.
By the end.
It was getting real.
You're a Nate Barker.
Well, I always took it.
That's another thing I hated.
I hated when Southern people moved to Nework and then they would trash the south like i'm i like someone
to be proud where i don't care where you're from but i want you to love where you're from yeah
that's all i want i don't care where in the world you're from yeah just be way on board with you
like you love your home yeah like so when people moved and then they started just trashing the South being like, right,
they're a bunch of loot.
You're like, yo, dude, that's your family.
Yeah, embarrassing.
How about you go up there and tell them like, no, we're good.
Like, we're not this.
Prince Harry.
That's what's annoying about it.
Yeah.
Rep your shit.
Why?
You'd be happy about it.
Be happy, bro.
You made millions of dollars doing nothing, dog.
Yeah.
You know, they don't, do they do anything?
I thought they like ran the
country no dude i thought they were like in charge of like you know the traffic lights and stuff like
they're like and then i just found out they're like it's turn them turn them green now okay
yeah but they're like they're like the kardashians right like or something yes they're royal
kardashians yeah yeah is that crazy and people worship them yeah oh my mom is like it's a if your moms are way on board with everything that
my mom has watched every like wedding funeral i mean hours and hours of it yeah it's like uh
why do you think i don't know i think it's it's a soap opera i guess and like i do i
like it for that reason i like that my mom likes it and i like that that's like it's it's pretty
cool and uh you know like i think uh his brother and kate middleton or whatever yeah yeah seems
very nice and like seems like i don't know i i like the idea of it the queen's been alive forever
dude like that's crazy uh it's funny that she's the queen, and then you're like, does she run anything?
You're like, no, no, we don't let her do much.
And you're like, all right, should there be another?
Who's in charge of it?
They don't have anybody.
Yeah, that's crazy.
So they've never been in charge of anything.
I think back in the day, day.
No, yeah, back in the day before they had a parliament and all that kind of shit,
they did it, but they kind of just kept them around i think they keep them around because no one would
go to england if it wasn't for that that's yeah like the weather sucks the food sucks the people
are not the best looking right it's like all the reasons why you travel they don't have and so if
you don't have a castle or two or a palace or that clock tower, whatever, it's like,
that's the first thing I went to when I was there.
Yeah.
I got to see the palace.
Why do I have to see the palace?
Cause I guess it's,
you know,
royalty.
Yeah.
It's that's their empire state building.
Yeah.
That's their like Broadway or whatever.
I always think about like,
why do we go places?
You know,
like COVID everyone went there because it was open.
Open was enough.
Like when we went to Nashville,
but then Nashvilleashville has
like a party vibe there's a and i don't get me wrong i know there's some elitism there and but
the party vibe in nashville like you could just go to those bars down on broadway
and it doesn't have that same thing like in new york or la like there's a club and the road you
can't get in it's just like jam as many fucking people and maybe kid rock will show up and he'll play a few songs and it's just
fun yeah and that's nice when you're going on vacation you don't have to worry about getting
rejected yeah the club like you don't have to plan it you don't you're just like yeah we go walk
around like yeah yeah it's great it is great nashville is very open in that kind of thing
where it's you're not like you don't yeah that yeah that list kind of thing where it's, you're not like, you don't, yeah.
That, yeah, that list kind of, that stuff's exhausting.
It's exhausting, but Southern culture does have that.
You guys, there is a bougie-ness.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. There's a bougie-ness, bro.
Don't do that.
There's a bougie-ness, man.
You don't think the golf club got a little, a couple of requirements?
Oh, yeah, yeah yeah those aren't
southerners that's that's rich white people that's just that culture oh is that golf club culture
that's not like new york golf clubs aren't going to be super accepting and yeah i think they just
started yeah like i think they just started and they were kind of like forced to yeah even out
in long island that's going to take a little bit longer to get to the south augusta is going to be
a little slower but like i don't look at that as southern culture.
I'm sure there's some pretension, but we try not to put on airs.
It depends on where you join.
I mean, some country clubs are.
The one I'm at, some are more blue-collar-ish.
Really?
It's really just you're paying.
Your thing.
The blue-collar country.
No, the one I'm at is.
Everybody got Netflix specials there.
No, the one I'm at not it's it's a straight up
it's it's like a lot of real golfers are there like so it's people that are serious about golf
so there's the vibe of it is uh vanderbilt their golf their team plays there yeah yeah and uh
so like the vibe of it there is like dudes are there to work like to play and get good
explain something to me because you've been the the biggest Vanderbilt fan. Yeah.
Okay.
You didn't go to Vanderbilt. No.
I know you've worked that out in your head.
Yeah.
Go.
We don't get that in New York,
because we don't have college sports, right?
So we never...
I got on board with the Rutgers for a little bit
when they did good, and I was there.
We did?
Yeah, well, Rutgers was having a really good year,
and then I remember everybody's like,
oh, everybody's cheering for Rutgers,
and you're like, y'all just heard about Rutgers.
New Yorkers were caring about a New Jersey college?
Rutgers had a great season when I was there,
and it was kind of like their games were kind of on TV more,
so then everybody's like, oh, this is here.
Ray Rice.
Yeah, and so people were kind of excited about that.
They don't care.
None of my boys, maybe it's different because I grew up in Manhattan or whatever, but me
and none of my, we never discussed college sports at all.
I didn't even know college sports.
I knew it was popular because I heard about March Madness and these things.
We didn't watch March Madness.
I know this sounds probably crazy.
Never once growing up did me and my boys go, yo, to watch the games this saturday with march madness didn't watch a single college basketball game
until i was in college yeah and my this our school made the tournament the year before i went to ucsb
and then i saw what the fuck this thing was so break down the like the leap between i'm gonna
i don't go to the school, but I love the school.
I identify with the school.
How does that work?
So it's not just the South, but it's like also the Midwest,
like Ohio State.
All over the country they do it.
I feel like it's just New York that they don't do it.
A lot of us didn't have pro sports.
So Nashville didn't have pro teams.
We didn't have the Titans.
So everybody's like really into college because that's all you can really root for.
Alabama?
What pro team is in Alabama?
So if there's no pro team, you just love the sport and that's the only opportunity to see it live.
Yeah, so it's like, you know, it's that town.
It's kind of, it's more of about the town and stuff like that.
So we didn't have the Titans growing up.
So a lot of my friends were University of Tennessee fans,
but I was a Vanderbilt fan, which was in Nashville.
Yeah. And Vanderbilt's, which was in Nashville. Yeah.
And Vanderbilt's like,
was notoriously struggling a lot back then.
And so no one was a fan of Vanderbilt then.
But I always think it's good to be a fan
of like a team that struggles.
Like it makes,
builds character.
Like you have to like,
you don't just get handy.
You're not the Yankee.
You know,
I remember LeBron,
perfect 90s.
LeBron was like a perfect kid
for his age that he grew up in.
He listed his favorite teams
and it was the Cowboys, Yankees,
and maybe the Bulls or something.
You're like, oh, was it?
Was it that hard struggle
of just all of those teams won?
Didn't he have a nice struggle in his life?
Maybe he just wanted some wins.
Well, maybe.
But it's like that.
But I'm saying,
there was a big generation
of that where people
were fans of teams
that were like,
there was no,
they don't even know
what it was like to lose.
You know,
that's like if you're
a Patriots fan or Red Sox,
before they all started winning,
a long time ago,
you struggled, dude.
And then,
if you're a kid,
you're like,
oh, I don't know,
we've never not won. That's all we've ever dealt with if you're a boston sports fan
that's our age yeah you don't know not winning oh yeah you remember a few years because the
celtics weren't good in the 90s patriots were all a joke yeah and then the red sox never cursed yeah
yeah i grew up in dallas so the first three years I started watching football
or four years,
we won three Super Bowls.
So I was like,
oh, this is what it is.
And then now I'm like,
man, fuck,
I would appreciate that
if it happened now.
So I do think that's true.
Also, one thing about college
is culturally,
it's a part of the South.
It's almost like
I remember being like,
I guess I got to root
for a college team.
I just want to do it.
And then I'll try
to go to that college.
And then when I didn't go there, I gave up.
But it's just like sports is so central to life,
football in particular.
You got to find a team everywhere.
That's funny.
We love these colleges that would never let us in.
I don't get it.
We just care about the sports, man.
Like you ride your whole life for the school.
You buy the merch.
And then all of a sudden you're like,
I'd like to go and continue my education there.
And then they go, you're not good enough.
That's insane.
And how do you still root?
Well, there's not a college in America that would have let me in.
Like, so, I mean, what am I, you know, like I went to a community college.
And then for a year, no credits, one year.
And then I did Western Kentucky forucky for a semester again zero credits
felt bold i felt bowling and i'm actually a pretty good bowler but like once they made me keep the
score on my they're like you got to write the score down you're like i don't know how to do
that dude like that's why they all have the screens they keep it for you and the guy's like
you know you got to learn how to do it. And I'm like, I don't care.
And then that was it.
I didn't learn.
But that was, so I can never get in these colleges anyway.
But you don't have any, you just want to root for something.
Like we didn't have baseball teams.
We were, the closest was like the Braves for baseball.
That's because they were always on TNT, right?
Yeah, it's only like two hours from Nashville.
Yeah, it's real close. A lot of people would be Cubs fans because they were always on TNT, right? Yeah, it's only like two hours from Nashville.
Yeah, it's real close.
A lot of people would be Cubs fans because they were on WGN.
And so what you could see, that's why the Cowboys,
they were always on TV, so everybody became a big fan of them.
But yeah, I don't know.
You just, you like these college teams.
The older you get, though, the more it changes,
because it's crazy, because at first you're like,
these kids are all older than you. Yeah. And then you're like, dude, I more it changes because it's crazy because at first you're like, these kids are older than you.
Yeah.
And then you're like, dude, I mean, I could have that kid.
And it's weird to be.
So, like, I love them, but you learn to, like, kind of back off to be like,
I can't be mad at an 18-year-old.
Like, you know how young 18 is?
You're like, I'm furious at this kid.
I used to follow him on Twitter.
If someone was thinking about going to Vanderbilt, I'd follow him on Twitter. And then when they didn't, I would
unfollow him.
He's a 17-year-old kid.
A follow is
weird enough, to be honest.
It's inappropriate a little bit.
So you're recruiting. I'm trying to
recruit him. Look, if we had
some crazy kid coming to Vanderbilt,
I would definitely follow him.
I know a lot of the golfers now because they're at that thing,
and I'll follow them.
But then some of them I know.
But it's like some of the times, yeah, you follow them,
and then you're like, yeah, it's an 18-year-old dude.
Whatever they're posting, you're like, I don't care about any of this stuff.
But, yeah, I don't know.
It's interesting.
Yeah, it's funny. You're following 18-year you're following y'all were into the pros though like i remember you know when i
moved to chicago first because that's where i was first at uh i was there for like the bartman
like oh shit i was there when all that i was was i was waiting tables and uh you know what's crazy
so if you watch that Bartman ESPN documentary.
Just to clarify what it is for everybody.
What happened to Bartman?
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is the guy who.
This is the guy that they blamed.
Game six.
Game six.
Which, by the way, after what they did to him, I don't think the Cubs,
I wish they never win ever again.
Yeah, yeah.
And like that talent.
I mean, what they did to him is insane to me.
So real quick backstory, it was game six, and Chicago is, I think, up 3-2.
So if they win this game, they go to their first World Series in like 100 years.
Foul ball.
They're up big on the Marlins, I think.
And then a foul ball is hit, and whoever the Cubs outfielder is, he is going to catch this,
and the Cubs are going to win the game.
A fan reaches out, doesn't realize the outfielder's there. He's so excited to catch a foul ball. Reaches going to win the game yeah a fan reaches out doesn't realize
the outfielders are he's so excited to catch a foul ball reaches out grabs it gets in the way
the outfielder can't catch a cubs fan cubs fan yeah and then the the outfielder loses his fucking
mind on the fan and then the marlins come back and win that game and then win the series and
the cubs don't make the world real quick that's right if he wasn't a cubs fan yeah is he dead if it's now with the internet
he's probably dead because think about that they couldn't really get to him like they did then
if it was a twitter and stuff like that around yeah he's probably dead like they would people
would have started filming him and tracking him like he could have he at least was able to somewhat
get away yeah just because the internet wasn't like it was oh i meant that day like imagine he was a fan i guess of
marlins imagine he had a marlins hat on yeah and he disrupts the play yeah and the sad part of that
whole thing sorry real quick just you know the backstory i just watched i actually watched one
of the rare baseball games i ever watched you see him the rest of the game as the comeback is
happening they keep cutting back to him and he's just staring straight forward fucking freaking out inside like what is happening
oh my god this is all my fault everybody hates me yeah you're just watching that for like 30 minutes
and then whatever happened after you can so the the ball was way in the in the stands it wasn't
like he didn't reach out at all like the ball was if he was if he didn't move the ball would
have hit him in the head oh so you think that there was no way that Malou could have made a plan?
Maybe he catches it, but there's 50 people.
A ball is coming at you.
If I throw you something, you're going to move towards it.
It wasn't that insane.
And by the way, they were up, and then they lost.
Not his fault.
He gave up runs.
It wasn't this like – it wasn't he reached over and, like, he's, you know.
Boyz II Lu's having to jump kind of in the stands.
Maybe catches it, maybe doesn't.
So they booed him, whatever.
And then if you watch the documentary, he then, a woman that works there,
takes him out of the stadium.
And she's like, we kind of got to go.
And then people see him because now he's been on TV all night.
So people see him and they're like, well, we got to get you off the streets because you will get killed.
And so the woman that works there takes him to her apartment.
So I'm waiting tables that night.
And Jake Melnick's this restaurant in Chicago.
And so it was like packed.
We're all watching it on TV and all these Chicago fans.
And then so a friend of mine that worked there, she goes home.
Well, she's roommates with that girl.
So how crazy it is.
She just goes home.
Bartman's on TV.
It's the craziest thing in the world.
And she comes home and he's sitting in her living room.
And she's like, hey.
And then he's just like, you you know like just kind of watching the
coverage of it this guy was such a fan he had headphones on he was listening to the radio yeah
uh and so play by play on the radio oh they i think they put his address out in the paper the
next day they uh in the paper i believe that i believe in Chicago Tribune. I mean, I wish he sued them where they don't exist.
I mean, they ruined, that guy never done an interview,
never tried to get anything for it.
Now they've invited him to come back.
But it's like insane to me.
You ruined a guy's life.
And then I think they sent him a World Series ring.
And you're like, I don't even care about that.
All these fans.
They sent him a ring?
Yeah.
Because they, dude, they realize now. They sent him a ring? Yeah. Oh, they, because they, dude,
they realize now.
What happened to his house?
It got like.
Oh,
I mean,
he couldn't go to work.
He had to go like,
he's never been back.
I don't think,
I don't know if he's been back to game.
Like he's never,
he's never done an interview.
This dude is a true, this guy cares about Chicago more than those players do.
Like they,
he wanted them to win more than Moises Aloo probably cares about the cubs yeah yeah and
like you ruin this guy's life yeah and it's like and i mean they still like it was like 10 years
later they're still would like trial bartman ruined that game like just the audacity yeah to
do that to a guy is insane and i always thought i mean they won and i don't i i truly didn't think
i don't want them to ever i didn't
want them to win that one what you did to that guy is enough to be i don't get over it have you
reached out to him to bartman yeah i am bartman what if i was you have a real strong opinion
about it you're like god you're really mad about this it was me the whole time me the whole time
like no one knows trying to get the word out.
Oh, fuck, dude.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because some of y'all need to step your time pieces up, okay?
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Yo, we also got show announcements. First of all, thank you for everybody who came out to Miami. We
sold that bitch out. We appreciate it. So let's just keep this shit rolling.
On June 4th through June 6th, I'm going to be in Phoenix at CB Live.
Just picked up the show in Jersey in Hasbro Heights at Bananas.
I'm going to be there for June 11th and June 12th.
June 17th through June 19th, Kansas City.
I'm going to be at the Kansas City Comedy Club.
Come through July 1st through July 3rd.
I'm going to be in San Diego at the American Comedy Club. Come through July 1st through July 3rd. I'm going to be in San Diego at the
American Comedy Club and July 22nd through July 24th. I'm going to be at Magoobie's Joke House
in Baltimore. It's a goofy ass name, but we're going to have fun. Come through. Get your tickets
on my website, akashsingh.com. Yo, big tour energy happening right now. Tickets are already out.
More energy happening right now.
Tickets are already out.
As you are listening to this, TheAndrewSchultz.com, go get them shits.
Don't let the scalpers fuck you, okay?
The infamous tour, the tickets are available right now.
Do not let the scalpers fuck you.
Go to TheAndrewSchultz.com.
Your city is on there.
We are coming to your city and get those tickets before.
Because I'm telling you, these scalpers be hiking these fucking prices up.
And then people, last minute, they end up spending hundreds of fucking dollars to come to the show go get them right now dandrew schultz i should just run down the cities real quick one time for
cultural purposes obviously okay we are coming to virginia beach that's i think we might have
wait will we be out there already yeah your phone flashlight's on dude it is
my bad crazy holy shit did we already go to virginia beach by the time this comes out no
no no we didn't we're in virginia beach virginia beach uh there might be some show uh tickets left
for the for the we added a fifth show so it might be some tickets left orlando sold out
st louis i think you had a couple tickets left san antonio few tickets left. Orlando sold out. St. Louis, I think you had a couple tickets left. San Antonio, a few tickets left. Denver sold out. Omaha, go check that out.
Charlotte, we got a few tickets left. And then we are cracking it open. Officially,
infamous tour. Dallas, Houston, Tucson, Los Angeles. Remember, I'll tell you something
about that in a second. Oklahoma City, Detroit, Milwaukee, San Diego, Austin, Louisville,
Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Indianapolis, Washington, D.C., Madison, Chicago, Minneapolis, San Diego, Austin, Louisville, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Indianapolis, Washington,
D.C., Madison, Chicago, Minneapolis, Fargo, Boston for New Year's Eve.
And very important announcement for the special.
We're now shooting a special in Austin, Texas, a state that can promise us that they're going
to be open.
We don't know what the deal is with California, so we can't roll the dice on that
when you've got these production companies,
you have this many moving parts, cameras,
all that kind of stuff.
We would have actually probably done it in Florida,
but we played every goddamn place in Florida,
so I don't know what would be left.
So we are going to do it in Austin.
We are still going to do those LA comedy shows.
So the comedy shows that we had booked for the special,
those four shows, we are still going to do those shows.
We are going to honor those tickets, those people who bought the tickets before.
But we're also releasing a few more tickets because now we don't have all these seats that are removed for cameras.
So we're going to let you guys get some more tickets for those L.A. shows.
So come on down there. Go check those out.
And then Austin, go gobble those up if you want to be for the special taping.
And yeah, man, let us know if there's any questions.
Obviously, you can contact the venues. You can, let us know if there's any questions.
Obviously, you can contact the venues.
You can contact Ticketmaster if you have any questions.
And yeah, I just really appreciate you.
Really excited about all this.
So let's get back to the show.
Oh, golf?
Yeah, because this is amazing stuff.
Are you good?
PGA Championship.
I'm all right.
Like, what's your handicap? Handicap, yeah.
I'm a five right now.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
So you're almost a, what is it called, scratch golfer?
Yeah.
Well, five, it's very, this is where it gets tough.
Five to zero is brutal.
Why?
It's just, I mean, you got to be shooting.
You need to shoot under par some, and then you got to shoot even a lot.
You just can't make that many mistakes.
You just can't.
Double bogeys have got to be gone, and you got to make birdies.
It's hard.
And you got to be really good at putting and chipping.
How much is you love the sport, and how much of it is I need me time?
I love this sport.
So like as we're doing this, the major PGA Championship is on right now,
the majors.
And like I think the sport is like unbelievable.
I think a lot like comedy.
It's on you.
No one else is out there.
It's you.
No matter what.
Like the course is like the audience.
Yeah, yeah.
You decide on how that show goes.
Yeah.
If you want this audience to be bad or good, it's up to you.
Sometimes it's windy.
Sometimes it's windy.
Sometimes it's not.
Sometimes stuff can go wrong.
It's unfair.
But it's on you.
You've got to make your own career, your own life.
No one else can help you.
No one can make you do anything.
It's totally up to what you do.
So I love the aspect of that with comedy
and that so i i love as a fan but then also it is that too for me is you know you're doing what we
do stand up like and how much we're trying to think of jokes trying to think just of 24 7 our
brain never shuts off it's a nightmare it's exhausting i want to be oblivious i would love
to be like when you see someone that's just real oblivious you're like oh my god dude like how great would
that be it's like he doesn't know what's going on yeah and you're like i walk into restaurant you're
like i know everything that's happened yeah and like i'm you're jason born yeah you're just with
no real skills yeah you can't do anything you just know this guy's gonna kill me and then he kills
you and you can't fight back but it's you're like overly thinking of stuff and you're just like so exhausted so when i go play
golf it's like all your mind goes to focus on one focus on one thing and so it's a break because
you can't shut your brain off yeah but you just can i can put the energy into one thing and then
i then everything kind of goes away so here's's my question about golf, and this would drive me fucking nuts.
One hole ruins the whole 18 potentially.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
I suck at golf.
So I'm literally just trying to like hit one hole well.
The rest don't matter.
If I get one, that's the goal.
Yeah.
Right?
If I can shoot like, what is it?
If I bogey a hole, that's one over. Yeah. That's a huge yeah that's a huge accomplishment yeah okay yeah but for you since you're so close to par if you fuck up one hole badly the whole four hours that you're out there is ruined right
well you gotta try to get it back so like it's a lot of times you gotta mention that's a that's
the mental aspect of it it doesn't break you well You're playing so fucking well and then one hole.
It does break you.
But the mental aspect is you got to get over that.
I mean, that's the, but again, it goes like everywhere.
You have to learn to deal with that.
Like you got to learn like, yeah, dude, you got a double bogey or triple bogey.
You don't just restart.
Let me just go back to one and just run.
I mean, you want to.
So I played in our club championship and one day I played really good.
And you've got to play by the rules.
Everything's got to go in the hole, you know, the no gimmies,
all this stuff like that.
Okay, yeah.
And so I end up getting – I get back-to-back eights.
So quadruple bogeys, back-to-back quadruple bogeys.
And, like, that's – I mean, that's bad, you know.
And so, yeah, I mean, your whole day's kind of shot there.
But then from that moment on, I thought, well, if I can just be even par from there on out.
Yeah.
And then I did that.
I ended up the nearest to the holes.
I shot even par.
I made a bogey, but made a birdie.
I kind of canceled each other out.
Yeah.
And at least made it to even par after those two eights.
So then I shoot like an 81 or something.
And what is the course?
72.
72.
Okay. Yeah. Or 71, I think, is the course 72 okay yeah or 71 i think is the course so on that one so it's 10 over yeah but an 81 is good and like you know for uh for me
but that could have easily been a 95 right right right if you just let it go you start going like
all right let me comment back down just saying the mounting pressure like i do have respect for
golfers i don't really respect a sport as a sport no offense but like uh but but i do have respect for the mental aspect in terms of like
the mounting pressure of you having the best game of your life
it just gets that much it's like when a pitcher has a no hitter exactly yeah
but yeah that the entire time.
Yeah.
So that's what I mean.
Like it's a,
it's a no,
that is a great way to put it.
It's a pitcher with no hitter
in this,
the entire time.
But 18 innings.
18, yeah.
Okay, so every shot
and every shot is like that.
Yeah.
So when does,
when does it become,
when is the pressure kicking?
Like the first three holes
if you're doing well,
you're not going like,
oh my God,
this is my best time ever.
I'm going to ruin it.
Six, eight.
It's in there the whole time.
But I would say the back nine is when it starts.
If you had a good round going, because all you're like,
well, now I can just ruin it.
Yeah, yeah.
And so you start thinking of that stuff.
So all this bad stuff, you know,
it's like when you're on stage telling a joke
and you ever have like, you ever think,
you're like, all right, I got one joke left.
If I don't mess this joke up,
this is a great set.
And you're like,
why are you thinking that?
Yeah, yeah.
Or you're filming.
Yeah.
Like you're filming,
you're like,
oh fuck,
they didn't laugh at that.
Is this whole show ruined
or is this whole joke ruined?
Yeah.
So those little things
pop in your head
that happens in the golf.
So you think that.
I actually struggle with that more.
Like even like doing shows,
if the crowd is fire
for every comic, I'm like, I can't be the one that fucks this up if the crowd sucks for
every comic i'm like we have to lose yeah i'll go up and do it you know it's so weird maybe this is
us like coming up in new york but like i'm weirdly comforted by a background oh yeah like now i get
to celebrate and go on and like some comics up just fucking murdering i'm like oh god yeah i
gotta bring them down yeah to bring them back
yeah you know what i'm saying like but like when they're like a little bit like ornery you know
what i mean like when they're kind of like a little disgruntled a little bit maybe they don't trust it
i'm like this is home baby this is every single time i went on stage and then you get to be a
little like angry at them or a little dismissive to them and then there's like a little battle
yeah then you get to that breaking point. Yeah.
Yeah.
That is weird.
It's weird.
I don't know.
I guess.
So a guy like Tiger,
did that make it that much more exciting when his heyday,
when he would like hunt down these players?
Tiger is so like,
you know,
they always,
you always want to compare someone to Michael Jordan,
right?
Yeah.
And really the only person you can is Tiger Woods.
There's no one really else.
Really?
I mean, as far as what they did, no one, I don't think anybody,
Michael and Tiger are the same person.
And they were both the biggest stars of their things.
Explain it to me.
Well, I mean, so when Tiger came, actually, you know, being a black golfer,
there wasn't that many.
There was a lot before him, so it's not like they're not.
Yeah.
But when Tiger took it to another level that what Jordan did,
where you're like, well, just everybody's on board with this guy.
We all worship this guy.
This guy's the biggest star on earth.
We all want to be him.
They loved what they do.
Like Jordan, you know like
you see like lord jordan lebron right like i was always a big lebron defender uh i'm kind of
bouncing all over i have a big theory with kobe too like i missed out on kobe because i was too
into jordan so that's our generation yeah same exact jordan kobe was too close to us that i
didn't that's my only I wish I would have appreciated him
and watched him more
because we saw so much Jordan
we saw so much Jordan
that it was like
it was hard to
it was like alright I can't
this is too
I'm watching the same movie
I can't
I gotta
but now you look at it
you're like
oh he was a killer
I wish I would have watched him
but I look at
LeBron
I was able to kind of
get back into LeBron
because I was like
I was like a generation removed
that go okay
I'll watch this guy
and then so
but like you see with LeBron and Jordan,
like Jordan didn't talk about himself at all.
Like he didn't, you know, LeBron starts,
he tweets a lot of stuff about how great he is,
and you're like, you're kind of like, all right, dude,
you're like killing me here.
Like I want you to be the guy, but Jordan's quiet.
Jordan, I don't know, was like humble.
Didn't have Twitter.
Didn't have Twitter, which is. Humble also, not at all. Yeah, I don't know, was like humble. Didn't have Twitter. Didn't have Twitter, which is...
Humble also, not at all.
Yeah, not at all humble.
But if you asked him if he was the greatest, he never said yet.
Like he was like, oh, no, no, the other guys are humble in that aspect.
I think he would say he's the greatest.
I think they asked him and he said he was...
He goes, no, it's not...
The only guy who could beat me or could come close to beating me is Kobe because he stole all my moves.
Yeah.
When did he say that
not that they asked him we're just gonna remove jordan from nate may love jordan yeah
jordan's not that good he would punch people in the face that disagree with him in practice
so there's the social media aspect i guess that you don't hear all of this stuff i knew i know
he's aggressive in that way yeah but but it's but i'm
like that's about his practice it's not like actually more tiger like to me is they're
fucking killers yeah but everything stays right here yeah and they don't they didn't have jordan
had a couple friends in the league tiger didn't have any friends on tour in his day he is a he
is an island i hear what you're saying with lebron like there's a weakness to him who am i to fucking
call lebron weak like he just squashed there's no there's not a weakness to him. Who am I to fucking call LeBron weak? He just squashed me. There's not a weakness.
I just think if you talk about the two greatest,
I think it's Jordan and LeBron,
and then you can have the conversation outside of that.
Oh, wow.
I don't like when people drop LeBron like it's garbage.
I mean, him winning three championships at three different teams,
to me, if he gets to five championships,
that counts as a sixth to me in the fact that he did it at three separate teams
so now you're like yeah maybe you can you go try to say he doesn't have six he won at three
different teams that's pretty wild it's hard to build a team around that's crazy to start over
it's lebron and jordan that's the conversation yeah and then it's always funny they don't ever
they always people always say the championship thing and you're like oh okay so you want to
talk about bill russell like get out of here i don't talk about thing, and you're like, oh, okay, so you want to talk about Bill Russell? They're like, get out of here.
I don't talk about Bill Russell.
You're like, well, then we're not talking
about a championship thing,
because he has like 10.
There wasn't any black guys in the league.
Bill Russell was one.
That's a pretty good one, though.
He was pretty good.
He was pretty good.
But there was eight teams, or 12 teams.
It was a different league.
It was a different league.
But I hear what you're saying.
I mean, the greatest winner in history.
Yeah. Bill Russell. Yeah. Absolutely. But the LeBron thing It was a different league. But I hear what you're saying. I mean, the greatest winner in history. Yeah.
Bill Russell.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
But the LeBron thing,
I don't know.
When I meant weakness,
I meant there's an emotional weakness.
There's an ego weakness.
And I think that's what you're talking about
with the tweets.
He's trying to prove himself
over and over.
He's being like,
no, no, I'm doing good.
I am the guy.
Yeah.
I'm going to crush you.
Everybody did it for him.
Everybody did what?
I'm saying everybody,
like fans and everybody
wrote how great he was. They did it.
Jordan did it. Jordan didn't
come out and go, I'm the greatest
that's doing. Jordan,
that's what I mean by humbled. I'm not saying he's humbled,
but there was no things going,
he would confidently answer a question,
but he never,
I mean, LeBron just tweeted that he's
the 25 points per game thing yeah he tweeted
where everybody was or he posted it he posted it he's also leaked your report didn't post it yeah
he posted it and he's reacting to people like yeah it's like you're like all right the whole
post because it's kind of funny it was like he said i don't know y'all never saw me as a score
well that's how i wanted anyway it's like, who's saying that about you?
Yeah, no one.
He goes, I'm a pass first guy.
I'm like, yeah, dude, there's an argument.
You're the greatest talent to ever play basketball.
They want to say he's better than Jordan or whatever.
I don't know.
LeBron, no one's built like that, dude. No one's that big and runs that fast and can pass that good and shoot.
I mean, the core vision is the same.
It's crazy, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
LeBron's, it's bananas.
Yeah. But like
Jordan, I don't know,
the more you're like,
he just didn't hear all this stuff. Now they did grow up in two different
areas. But anyway, back to the Jordan Tiger thing.
They're the exact same person.
I just don't get Tiger.
I'm not impressed.
I'm just not impressed. Well, that's insane.
That guy falls apart over golf from
pussy like i don't get it book about everything a tiger and the documentary covered a lot of it
which is like the guy was raised to be a fucking killer his dad damn near gave him ptsd just like
yelling at him on the golf yeah no but it was weird the stuff his dad is doing is like trying
to break him on the golf course and he said to tiger if it ever gets to be too much you say this
one word and i will stop and i will say for it it was a safe word tiger never used a safe word
he would call him the n word he would like fucking berate that you yeah shit you suck and tiger
wouldn't fucking break this kid is but then he broke he broke with bitches i mean eventually
bitches break yeah men but he did pretty good until he broke i mean but that's where a golf
tournament i don't think i would have sport. If they would have had...
The error that he would have...
All those guys...
That guy's unbreakable, dude.
He doesn't care.
He quit basketball for two years.
He had a fucking Hitler mustache, bro.
Yeah.
Nobody breaks him, dude.
I do whatever I want to do however i want to but he did quit
basketball for two years he retired very early and then he came back so that was so he was broke
though i don't think he was broke i think he had like some beef in the league i mean there's a lot
of conspiracies about what that is but i think it was just like oh you're not going to tell me what
i do i do whatever the fuck i want uh if the tiger thing though so the golf if you think it's like i
know it's like the
idea like how good john daly for instance people think he's just this fat guy you know the hand
and eye coordination he has i saw him actually play two weeks ago and we were all hidden in this
kind of this celebrity kind of thing and so we're 150 yards from a hole and there's 200 people
watching and they made all the celebrities hit
just you know to get close to the hole whatever and if you made it you would win and so like the
the pressure of hitting with 200 people watching is wow all you're thinking is like i want the
ball just to go up i don't even care if it goes near it just don't duff it don't slide it don't like shank it and so everybody's hitting and then
john daly goes last pretty drunk and he hits it this guy's 50 something years old and dude the
ball just never leaves the flag it doesn't go in but it just the flags here the ball goes directly
over the flag the you know how insane that is dude you know how hard it is to hit a golf ball?
It's so hard.
It's really hard.
It's really, really hard.
And it looks like it shouldn't be, which is that much more frustrating.
When Tiger won that Grand Slam where he won every major and they did anything,
nobody's done that, dude.
Nobody's.
He is so handicapped.
What happens when real athletes start playing golf, though?
They do play golf and they don't do good.
Do they, though?
They do go play golf.
Michael Jordan's played golf during the NBA.
Michael Jordan beat Tiger Woods in golf many times.
No.
This is known, dude.
Yeah.
You don't.
You're just trying to say it to go, these are real athletes.
But they're learning golf late.
I'm saying, what happens when real athletes go in?
Not like John Daly, but like a real athlete.
Justin Johnson.
Phil Mickelson's a real athlete.
He's an accountant.
All these guys are accountants.
What happens when it's guys that actually have fast-twitch muscle fibers?
Real athletes, they start playing golf.
What they do, Dustin Johnson, I think, could play basketball somewhere in college.
He could have done all that.
He is a real athlete.
Brooks Koepka.
Tiger changed that.
Now these guys are all jacked.
Now they're fucking jacked.
Now they're in shape.
Now they're getting good at golf, finally.
Yeah.
What Tiger did in his run was unreal.
Handicaps, right?
Yeah.
So if I'm a five handicap, and then you get to zero, a scratch,
then you start going plus.
Yeah.
So plus is good good so a lot of
golfers are plus five six seven eight yeah when tiger was at his best i believe he was a plus 10
so that means every time he goes out to play it your handicap is basically what you 10 of the
holes he's no under par oh yeah yeah if he if he played me and then the rest par rest of the part
so what your handicap is what you're capable of doing.
Yeah.
So if I'm a plus five, I can go shoot under par,
but I can also go shoot at 77.
That's what my abilities are.
Right.
And then so his capability, every course that he walked on,
if it's a par 71, he can go shoot a 61.
But imagine like Antonio Brown.
He could do like a 55 yeah like somebody
that actually was built to do you know cool physical tom brady here's why you'll never know
because those guys will never play golf why well they do go try you watch them go play but they
don't put the same effort in yeah that's what i'm saying is like what if they put the exact same
effort in you know what i mean like chess you know it a sport, but it's more mental than anything.
It's chess.
It's so hard that you...
Tiger Woods was an athletic chess player.
Ah, like an astronaut.
He's an astronaut.
Gotcha.
Well, you have to be physically fit, but you also have to be smart.
Mentally strong.
Mentally strong.
It's so hard that you dismiss it like the way you're dismissing it.
That's how hard it is.
I'll be honest with you.
It's like that you're just acting like you're trying to say Tiger'sing it. That's how hard it is. I'll be honest with you. It's like that you're just acting like
you're trying to say Tiger's not good
because that's how hard golf is
that you just were like, no, none of them are good.
Can I be honest with you?
Sometimes I'll see my fiance cleaning, right?
She'll be like sweeping and I'll be like, that's golf.
Yeah.
That's what I think golf is.
It's kind of sweeping.
Something that's so hard.
It's cleaning up the course.
Clean it up.
That's what people tend to do
with something that's unattainable. They go wall it go well but they don't do that with stand-up
right they're like oh my god that's the hardest thing i would never want to do that but everybody
goes to the golf and like everybody wants to do stand-up but that's the most terrifying thing in
the world like it is the most terrifying but i mean how many people there's no celebrity stand-up
tournaments there's a lot of celebrities that just get into stand-up though like they're poor now
i know but i mean that's but
they go they go do it would terrify them yeah it's not like everybody's good everybody's real bad out
there i'm just trying to say you don't think that like let's think of an athlete duane wade you
don't think of duane ronaldo fucking ronaldo messy these guys do play and they're yeah if they if
they dedicated they're it's just different the
hand eye and whatever they're good at the pressure and the hand eye or coordination all that stuff's
like a little bit better like and that's where i think golfers come from i mean they're real
they are athletes dude they gotta go you gotta play 18 holes with every hole is that much pressure
right mentally that's it's just a different thing dude like it's yeah it's
you're you're just it's one it's a different sport i'll be honest with you i think i could be a
scratch golf scratches par yeah if i put if i worked on it for six months to a year i think
i could get it down if you can get to scratch i'll give you one hundred thousand dollars if you get
to scratch if i can be a scratch golfer, I'll give you $100,000 in these guns.
I'll do whatever you want. So I think if I, six months to a year, I would have to dedicate myself
full. Like I'd have to at least spend, I don't know, I'd have to go golfing. I'll let you do
it every day. You have to go every day. I would go like maybe on Sunday, maybe on Saturday as well.
And then if I could do it two times a week, I think I could be a scratch golfer.
I'll give you more than $100,000.
If I could do it?
Scratch golfer?
Yeah.
In a year?
Six months to a year.
I think between six months and a year,
I'd be able to hit it.
Probably around the nine-month mark.
Absolutely.
But I'd have to do it at least two days a week.
I'd have to do it at least two days a week.
I don't know if I have a million dollars,
but I'll get it.
I'll figure out how to get it.
You'd give me a million dollars if I could do that?
If you can get to scratch golfer now unless you're lying and i don't know that
you're some golfer or something that you're already i'm from new york where would i golf
yeah there's nowhere there's nowhere to go yes yeah so six months to a year but if i just focused
on it like if i actually went there and i like looked at the ball and i tried to hit it straight
i think i could do that yeah absolutely he also thinks he can beat Ronda Rousey in a UFC match.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I could definitely do that.
I think that Akash could also do that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm not on board with this one.
She beat Turtle in Entourage, so I doubt it.
Wait, in an actual fight or in Entourage?
The show Entourage.
Oh, it was the show.
Oh, fuck.
Okay, because then I was about to think about that.
Yeah.
Because he's littler, but he's still a guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
I mean, look, I don't want to like ruin golf for you or anything like that.
I'm just saying it's...
I mean, you're not ruining...
You won't ruin it for me.
I love how much you love it.
I'll be rewarded by it
because you don't...
Because I actively do play every day
trying to get to zero.
And you also have like...
You have like a golf thing, right?
Yeah.
So that's...
Oh, yeah, dude.
And I can't do it.
What do you mean?
I can't get to zero.
I think you can get to zero. Have you tried playing one to two times a week? Will you give do you mean i can't get to zero i think you could get to zero have you tried playing we give you one million dollars if i could actually need a million i
gotta give you a million i'll try to get some will someone give me a million if i get to zero
because then i have to give my million day interest so like i don't have uh i need something
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Now let's get back to the show.
Okay.
Nate, before you go, please tell everybody where they can see you.
I know you got a tour coming up.
Yeah.
I know you got the special.
Just everything.
I mean, the podcast.
Yeah, the Nate Land podcast. the special and just everything i mean the podcast yeah the nate land podcast uh it's on youtube and like all you know whatever all the podcast stuff is yeah and it's really funny you guys have great
clips to me like i always watch the clips that pop up on your page but it's really funny yeah
it's just being funny and say we're not trying to you know and i don't i don't talk about it that
much like uh what the podcast i don't know i like where it's
uh but it is very i enjoy it i think it's helped my stand-up really you know because i think that
was a hard part when you know when you get off uh when you leave new york and you're not doing
spots and you really kind of start doing the road start develop your idea and you know spots don't
really mean anything you don't really need spots as much yeah you don't want them as much yeah uh
i think to be the better comic you gotta go learn on the road and you gotta learn to like you're a show yeah and people come see you you're the show yeah they
need to see the show and so uh but doing this podcast and being funny and you know it's like
it's a good muscle it's kind of back to like new york when he was like that's what made so fun in
new york is like busting balls and all that kind of stuff yeah uh so nathan podcast specials the
greatest average american on netflix and then yeah the
tour uh the rain check tour a lot of the dates have been put up yeah uh brand it's all new
material people always wonder that yeah i said a lot uh and then i'll be coming to a lot of cities
a lot of cities are not announced that's the big thing dude people they're like well when are you
coming here you're like yeah dude i'm when do i do I get off the vibe that I don't tour?
Like we're going to Wichita, dude.
I'm coming to Dallas, all right?
So like let's not worry about it.
Like I'll be there.
But these are the dates.
So they're all up.
They all went up now.
And then, yeah, I'll be in Naples is my last kind of club date.
What are you doing?
Off the hook.
Off the hook.
Yeah.
Dude, I remember I did that.
Is it still in the restaurant? I don yeah dude i remember i did that there is
it still in the uh the restaurant i don't know i haven't been there and uh i don't know i don't
know if i've i think i've been there once uh i don't know oh dude i had a bad bomb in that place
man yeah a lot of i've heard of mixed i'm hoping that it's it's i think it's you know when you get
your i think they changed it i think they i think they changed it and if you get your fans there
okay it's uh this is way before that
and I just heard them
frying shrimp.
Yeah.
Like,
I heard the shrimp
get dropped in
to the grease.
You just hear like,
this guy's not that good.
I had some shows
where you hear the cooking.
That shit is the worst,
dog.
I mean,
like,
one thing is like,
hearing ice in a drink
and you're like,
okay,
I guess that kind of,
I just kind of loud,
but like,
when I could find,
I knew what they made.
I heard the grill, dog.
The motherfucking burger.
It's so quiet.
It's sizzling.
It's not even that loud.
Literally a few minutes before,
I'm listening to the girl put the order in.
So I know the order, right?
And that's loud because nobody's laughing, right?
And then a few minutes later,
I just hear,
it's popcorn shrimp.
Yeah, it's almost ready.
She sits there, she goes, I think they're almost ready.
It's coming.
It's coming.
That is funny.
Like when you hear afterwards, you're like, can y'all calm it down with the noise?
And they're like, I mean, I set silverware on the table very gently.
And you're like, why don't you do better?
You're like, that's all right.
All right, maybe I should be doing better.
But could you guys, how loud is that soda
machine back there, man?
Is there a microphone by it?
They're like, that's the restaurant next door.
That's how quiet you made it.
Oh, dude, man.
Some bad bombs.
Some bad bombs.
You're a bomb in comics, you know, comics, comedy club in Connecticut.
Yeah.
The one in the casino.
Oh, yeah.
Foxwoods. Foxwood yeah i heard a guy win i don't know what game he was playing but i was falling so hard
and i guess one of the doors over to something i just heard a guy go
everybody in that fucking room just looking out like. Looking out like, oh, he could be out there winning.
What the fuck did you drag me in here for?
The quietness is just wild when you're bombing.
It's something special, man.
It's like when you're doing it and you're like, dude, you're in it.
And no one's laughing.
And you hear everything that's going on.
It's pretty wild.
It's an experience.
Do you ever want to go up, though, when it's bad?
You know,
like,
when someone's like,
yo,
dude,
this show is terrible
and,
like,
I remember me and Giannis
did some show in Long Island
and they weren't even listening.
Like,
you could go on stage
as a comic
and do a set
and 80% of the crowd
would be like,
oh,
I didn't even know
there was a comic
on stage at one point.
Which is wild,
dude.
To be going,
like, doing New Year's Eve shows. shows yeah i remember hosting those in new york and uh you would you
would go up you know like they get the show done and there's still like 10 minutes before the ball
gets dropped yeah yeah and so they're dropping checks and people are just talking and you're in
a you're talking in a microphone you're like this like, this is pretty surreal. Just like, I'm on stage doing what my dream is.
And there's people that if you asked you like,
hey, do you remember when I went on stage,
they would be like, no, I don't even know who you are.
And you're like, dude, I was in front of you.
I mean, it's crazy.
It's unbelievable.
You have to emotionally deal with that.
I was in front of you for 20 minutes.
That's a long time.
That's a fucking sitcom, bro.
In front of you.
And you walk out and they're like,
I didn't even see you.
And you're like, the microphone was on, man.
It was on.
It's not like it was off.
I was the loudest thing in the room.
And they go, oh, I thought it was like,
I don't know, I thought it was like uh i don't know what i
thought it was like a newscast yeah like you know yeah i thought they turned on channel two or
something we're watching the ball drop yeah they were those shows they'd be shows in the city where
like nobody i think told the people in the restaurant there was going to be a show oh yeah
you know like yeah what are they called like kamikaze comedy or something like that ambush
ambush yeah like an ambush show i think they were they did a show at a laundromat What are they called? Like kamikaze comedy or something like that? Ambush.
Yeah, like an ambush show.
I think they did a show at a laundromat too.
They were just these places.
This is what comics do.
They find places where there are people who will be.
We're parasites.
Any host that will have us, we will come suck the business out of your store.
But there was a time where we would have to promote it.
And then comics got savvy.
They're like, well, people are always waiting for the bathroom.
What if we do the show in front of the bathroom?
And they did it on a laundromat.
We just needed people.
We needed bodies.
Bro, the laundromat is crazy. New York would be getting in front of people.
I remember going to Broadway Comedy Club, and you're bombing.
And you're like, where's everybody from?
Does anybody speak English in here?
And it's like a room of like nobody's asian tourists and not one spoke english and they're just there kind of for the
experience well they're there for dave chappelle because they were told yeah yeah yeah and you're
just bombing yeah then you're like and then you're like does anybody really speak english
and everybody's like not really like you know they don't just not really like not really you're
like okay and then you just bomb for 10 minutes and you get out.
Yeah.
That stuff.
Oh, by the way, that's the highlight of your day.
Like the whole earlier part of your day, you're going,
tonight, 940, Broadway Comedy Club.
You're building up to that.
Oh, you're tweaking little words in the settle.
I'm going to try this.
A new joke.
It's like a Game of Thrones finale.
That's what I waited for this whole time this whole time new york was good i would say new york was like dog years for that's why that's why new york comics to me are
always so great is like because we get up so much yeah over an eight year period like i went up
every day for eight years every day you. You age in time on stage.
There are comics, you go to certain places, they've been doing it 12 years, but they've
really been doing it a year and a half.
You did a 10-minute spot once a week.
You're not aging quickly in this comedy.
No.
If we had a bad show, the most I ever did was seven in one night, which is too much.
But average would be like-
After four, it gets a lot.
Yeah. Four, yeah. Three to After four, it gets a lot.
Yeah, three to five would probably be about your average.
At the beginning, you're only doing one.
But you could go hit multiple open mics.
But then once you kind of get into the clubs, you're doing probably four.
And so four a night, dude, that's a lot.
You can fix a joke.
You'd see it evolve.
You'd see it evolve.
That's what I miss.
We came down here so we could start doing stand-up again and obviously get out of New York because it was just so locked down.
But what I do miss is having an idea that has no punchlines.
It's just something funny about it.
And then going on stage and working it out with that audience.
That's the only way I learned how to write.
I did not learn how to or i could
talk to like my friends about it oftentimes like talking to non-comics is really helpful yeah
because they're not like uh looking for it you're just having like a pretend to mix it in yeah like
a pretend serious conversation yeah yeah so like but that's always makes you be more conversational
that's why i like doing that sometimes it's like you try to not like you're doing it you're acting
in front of them but you could kind of like but you get it and then if you can if you can say if i can say
it to you and it'd be funny in this conversation then it'll be funny it'll be yeah conversation
i like being conversational that was a big burr and patrice thing like that
they would always say i'd ask like do you write everything out word for word and they're like no
because it's like then it gets too scripted yes and so you don't want to be scripted you know where the jokes are you know where the laughs are
and it's not bad if a couple things change yeah like if somebody always told me like well you did
that you didn't do the joke the same as you did it the other night yeah and i'm like it's not a
bad thing yeah like it's fresh for me like a little like yeah you know i don't want to miss the main part yeah but it's overall you're
like yeah it should be a little flowing so it's always i want to be a little surprised when i'm
telling you i wanted to feel like it's i mean if not the first time but i want to feel like it's a
little bit different sometimes and i know this is maybe bad habit like i kind of like getting a
little lost in it yeah like i'll i'll flip an order of something on purpose yeah and like try to like work myself out of it yeah because i don't know it feels
if i i always feel like if i feel alive in the moment with it then they'll feel my energy yeah
you know i thought about shooting golf i thought so golf has a lot of mental coaches
we're doing golf again the disrespect you show Tiger Woods is bananas, dude.
What do you mean? The guy that
couldn't hold it together?
He held it all together. He just walked on grass for a living?
Yeah. That's a tough life.
He's the greatest. He's my favorite.
He's probably my number one.
If I could ever meet Tiger Woods, he's my number one person.
Really? That's it.
I love him, dude.
Number one, number one number one number one number one
jordan would be there too if you have a sister he'd probably be into huh oh yeah he'd probably
yeah he liked them white yeah he liked them white yeah yeah uh but that's not all his fault either
you know his dad used to like when they would when they was a kid he'd go to a golf course
his dad had a winnebago and like as he's practicing his dad would just take women
into that winnebago down yeah and i mean like and he's married so he's like just cheating on his mom
and tiger's watching it yeah like toughness for mental tough yeah yeah he never said the safe
word he never said the safe word they didn't either uh there's a sex joke we got it i knew I knew it was in you, bro. I knew it. You react to the world.
Y'all trick me, dude.
You trick me.
See?
My mom comes out.
I'm like, I'm sorry.
My mom's mad at me.
I just never think like that.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Immediately.
That's all I think about, dude.
Once we're done with this, I'm like, yo, dude, I have real big problems with this stuff.
I just quietly.
Andrew, you're hitting a little close to home.
You have a big
uh but the mental i have a sex joke addiction the mental the mental joke uh the mental aspects
they how to be mentally they tell them how to like teach them yeah and i thought about that
with stand-up yeah you uh because you can catch yourself wandering yeah and you're not in the
moment and you're like i need to be better about being in the moment yeah and so it's like that
kind of aspect too is another reason that it compares dude that's so
funny like i always think about like uh what can i do outside of comedy to be better at comedy
like i know it sounds weird but i look at these athletes and i'm like okay they're like
if lebron's playing basketball but he's also like doing fucking yoga and ballet and all these other
things to get his footwork i'm like what can i do in stand-up does it mean like i'm reading things
experience my it's experience i think it's experience you should go do stuff you go put
yourself the hardest part talk about go do something that's uncomfortable yes you're yes
if your girl wants you to go to you know we're gonna go eat with these people yes you don't
like them well you need to go yes i would get this dinner party but okay i'll go like go do these kind of things that you're like you would normally
be like i'm not going and then go that's the put stuff together like by you know dropping in right
yeah i mean that was i mean when we were on the road that that's what i would do back in the day
the reason i would uh i did these like vlogs was to get out of the hotel yeah because i'd realize
i'd be in columbus ohio i'd in the room, and I'd wake up at noon,
I'd get some food, and then I'd go back into my hotel,
and then I'd talk to 300 people.
I'd talk to nobody, and then I'd talk to 300 people.
And I was like, I just gotta go out and do this.
And then I started going out and doing things,
and all of a sudden I had shit to talk to these people about,
about their hometowns,
it was really fucking kind of interesting and cool.
I was okay.
But what if there's a mental aspect
outside of just experiences? What if it's's like you know when you're feeling like
you're most secure and confident and you go on stage and anything that happens you can bounce
off of in the best way like i bet there's athletes they're like i have to be in a good mental state
to perform well in the playoffs like what can i do to make sure my mental state i'm on lebron
is reading fake reading yeah he's going through them fucking kill a mockingbird now what was it the hunter hunger games i didn't tell you this the
story about that no oh this is crazy you know lebron fake reads books right oh for the photo
he'll just read the first page of the book i take a picture and he puts it down so he was fake reading
the hunger games and there's this like young uh journalist who uh was was trying to like
ingratiate himself to lebron and build a relationship
by talking about the hunger games and he's like oh which one you on you're on the mockingjay or
something oh did i love that one because katniss is doing this that the other and as he's talking
about he's realizing lebron hasn't read any of these fucking books so he's got a moonwalk out
of the combo without letting lebron know that he knows that he's a fucking fraud yeah
when it comes to reading these books so now all these memes have come out of lebron is only reading
the front page of the book yeah or the first page of the book oh great but that's another one like
jordan would be like fuck reading yeah he'd be like i don't i don't need to read that i win
there's no i agree the the last dance when he met seinfeld what do you what do you say he goes hey
they're big fans of your show.
Because truthfully, at that moment, Jordan
and Seinfeld TV show, that's the two biggest
things going. Don't disrespect
Jordan like that, bro. No, that's fair.
Don't disrespect Jordan like that. Seinfeld was bigger than Tiger Woods.
You like Seinfeld?
I do. Yeah, I'm a big
Seinfeld guy. You don't think he's wildly overrated?
I mean, dude, he started in
79. What do you want him to be?
I'm sorry he's not your... Eddie?
He was before Eddie. I'm sorry
he's not exactly what you want him to be. He needs
to be exactly what I want to be. You're very good at
dismissing Andrew in a way that makes him
look dumb. Yeah. It's really
a talent. You're just very casual
like, I'm sorry he's not exactly what I want him to be.
I think you have to be the... It's really
fucking... I marvel at how you just take it and you're just like, oh, I'm sorry. I just think he's pretent I think you have to be the it's like a fucking I marvel at how you just
take it and you're just like oh I'm sorry I just think he's pretentious I think that's why I mean
I think it's fine you know that comes from it's an older comic like it's the no because I love
you know the OGs I love like I've actually I missed that potential he's been he's been so
famous forever I think he's like dude he's awesome like his his specials are doing really good I mean
created Seinfeld is my favorite show
of all time. It's the best show.
That's insane. So overrated, bro.
So overrated.
Have you ever watched other shows?
Yeah, I've watched other shows. How were they?
That was like a Nate line. Have you tried
other shows? Have you tried watching
other TV shows?
Everybody loves Raymond in Office.
All great shows seinfeld is
great did you not like it because you're we're living in manhattan maybe it was like too close
like i just didn't care for it i was like okay these guys are quirky there's now that i lived
there that's what you thought like look how quirky everybody is seven years old seven years old i
swear to god i put it on and i like i hated the way that kramer would walk in i'd be like you're
not gonna walk into someone's house like that like i'm just not going to let you in my house.
If you're going to keep on bursting in the fucking door,
it's just stupid. I mean, you dance around in here
all the time. You're the Kramer
now, dude.
No one's going to think you're...
What are you doing?
You're going to see my N-word bit, too, bro.
He was a guy doing stand-up
he was like a celebrity that went into stand-up
it didn't go too well
it did not go good
but if you did 6 to 12 months
if you don't have an act or where to go
that's what happens
if you don't know where you're going up there
that's what happens
it's gonna be nothing else
he said I am not bombing today
most of us just go
okay it's a bomb it's a bomb we can do this uh-uh it's like yeah he's bringing everybody down with
him he's like if i die everybody dies like and he goes with that uh yeah i yeah seinfeld's great
seinfeld shows great great uh stand-ups great he's he's kind of the key also a billionaire so
you're asking him to not be pretentious when he's a billionaire comedian.
Off of comedy.
I know.
I'm harder on him for some reason.
Maybe it's because he's so successful.
You're the next New York comic.
It's okay if there's one before you.
I don't know.
He's like the king, dude.
Once Cosby was out, that's the guy.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, mean dude all this
stuff like i don't care about like i don't wear shorts on stage or like not that i would wear
them but it's like i remember him saying don't wear shorts or one time he said don't like shorts
sleeve shirts are like kind of weird on stage and all these kind of weird fashion advice from
seinfeld well he's just saying like no one wants to see your arms yeah they do huh yeah they do
yeah that i don't i think that that's the things that
annoy me like he has this like one idea of what stand-up is yeah that's a little annoying you're
not even the best at your version yeah that's it's it's his that's his uh thing i don't know
it's uh you and i do very different types of comedy oh i love your comedy oh yeah very different there is a very different i don't know cameron we do we definitely
do but i can appreciate your comedy yeah okay i find that he has a hard time appreciating the
things that aren't exactly the way that he does them i understand that but i mean dude he's in
his 60s i mean like figure it out it is but it's it's definitely going to be an older kind of like yeah
dude that's he's that's the way he started that's the way he is that's what he does his most recent
special he even said like i'm this is my last special i'm too old for this now yeah i don't
understand what's going on comedy's not for old people to do i'm done him leaving at his peak dude
when he the thing when he talked with jordan and uh and he goes yeah you know two guys
in the 90s and like they both like they left they got out of the way yeah too many people don't get
out of the way anymore they they stay and they don't leave who would you like to leave no it's a
few uh there's too many to list no i don't know if i i don't know if i want anybody to leave but
i don't know if i there's a real answer to that but it's like, I do like the idea. Dude, the show's the biggest show on earth,
and they're going to give him, I mean,
probably $100 million more if he does one more season,
and he says no.
He goes, why would I?
I can't top it.
And then he's never done anything else.
The reunion show was actually pretty perfect
in the fact that they did it on Curb Your Enthusiasm.
They did it on another show.
They did the kind of reunion thing,
cooler than anybody's ever done a reunion thing yeah and so he's kind of done his own thing and he left and
he goes all right see ya went back and did stand up the b movie was great comedians shut the fuck
up you're defending the b movie i mean what do you want it to be? He's so good at it.
Good.
I don't know how he does it.
Good.
It's good.
It's good.
It wasn't even the best movie about bees that came out that year.
What was a better movie than that?
Wasn't it Ant?
There was an Ant.
Maybe it was an Ant movie.
I don't know.
There was another insect movie, and it was better.
The Bee Movie was great.
Come on.
One of my favorite movies I've ever seen in my life.
Do you guys have like a thing? You guys have like a tour or something like that? I've never met him. I would love to meet him. I've ever seen in my life. Do you guys have like a thing?
You guys have like a tour or something like that?
I've never met him.
I would love to meet him.
I've never met him.
He'll let you down.
I met him once.
Yeah.
That's why he doesn't like him.
Yeah.
I hope we just talk about you the whole time.
Yeah, we did.
If I meet, no, I'm saying when I meet Seinfeld, he goes, well, Andrew Short is like, I know,
right?
No, I'll have to defend you to him.
Now that's what he does, dude. He wears those shoes. He goes, I'll have to defend you to him. Now that's what he does, dude.
He wears those shoes.
He goes, y'all have to get...
He wears the shoes!
I know.
I would like to defend you to him.
What if he just rails on you the whole time?
And I'm like, no, dude, he's great.
No, there's no way Seinfeld knows who I am.
Y'all are two New York dudes.
Why don't y'all not get along with that?
Because he's from Long Island, and y'all don't care for them? I like people from Long Island. It's like, you know... I think they're like... To be honest, I don't y'all not get along with that? Because he's from Long Island and y'all don't care for them?
I like people from Long Island.
It's like, you know.
I think they're like, to be honest, I don't know.
In a lot of ways, like the real New Yorkers.
I know it's a weird thing to say because their personalities fit the stereotype of what most people think New Yorkers are.
Yeah.
Way more than like me, for example.
Yeah.
You know, like I think when a lot of people
meet me they're not like wait aren't you supposed to say get over here yeah give me a pizza or
whatever that kind of fit in if you were from Florida honestly like you could be like oh I get
that like you someone could think that I'm Florida baby yeah but I don't know for whatever reason he
rubs me the wrong way I mean I've always heard that in some people.
I like him.
I mean, he's so big, and he's like, it's just like, I don't know.
When do we do that?
We just justify people being annoying because they're big?
He's going to be a nice guy. I think if you met Jordan, I don't think it's going to be great.
It's going to be great.
It's going to be great.
No, it's not.
No, it's going to be great.
And you know what?
He's going to tell me how fucking easy golf is.
That's for sure. He's going to be like, I could have busted these guys' asses's going to be great. And you know what? He's going to tell me how fucking easy golf is. That's for sure.
He's going to be like, I could have busted these guys' asses if I wanted to.
I was listening to your guest podcast the other day and I couldn't agree more, Andrew,
that I can easily could be zero.
That's what I'm saying.
He gets it.
A guy like Jordan gets it.
You know what I mean?
I'd like to meet Larry.
Yeah.
Yeah, I would love to meet Larry David.
You didn't meet him?
No. No, I've never met him. Jerry or Larry. Would love to meet larry david did you you didn't uh meet him no no i've never met him uh jerry or larry would love to meet him uh big big fans larry that'd be cool jerry's great
dude i can see putting larry's true jerry jerry's his true stand-up comic that's what i love jay
leno true stand-up comic stuck with it still does shows still a road dog that guy could do what
everyone look at letterman letterman ain't doing all that stuff that's the thing with letterman
you know everybody's talking about letterman and leno and everybody like letterman more than leno
letterman was the strictest human being alive you had to have a suit he banned bill hicks forever
you couldn't disappoint him leno was like a true comic i'm here to help the comedians
i'm here to like i'm open and i'm doing road shows
yeah and then never gave up i love someone that doesn't turn their back on stand-up when they
make it they don't they they go no i'm this is what this is why i'm here i'm only here because
of this yeah this is what i love seinfeld's that all those people are that that's why i love the
guys that stick with it and they don't and they die stand-up comics
if you meet seinfeld he doesn't go i'm an actor from a tv show he goes i'm a stand-up comic leno's
a stand-up comic he doesn't go i hosted tonight show yeah letterman he doesn't say that i mean
he's lettering he's like uh i'm a tv talk show i like the guys that stick with it yeah i didn't i
mean i never really watched letterman but i didn't really uh i don't know i always kind of liked leno more but i never subscribed to like oh it's cool to
like letterman he's the more meta guy that was like very cool i think he had very funny i didn't
watch it he kind of took that over as well yeah and then i don't know like conan thing i always
thought he was hilarious but i always thought the interview was about conan no matter who he was
talking yeah and i thought it was kind of cool matter who he was talking to yeah and I thought
it was kind of cool that Leno was like deferential to the guests yeah yeah Letterman would make it
about Letterman but in the funniest way like if he didn't have interest in a guest he couldn't fake
it like I remember don't have them all yeah I remember but I think that's why people liked it
because it was like watching like Tom Cruise's ex-wife Katie Holmes Katie Holmes had her on the
show yeah asked her some questions about Batman. He's clearly not interested,
and then he goes,
all right, now let's talk about the real reason
I brought you on this show.
Yeah.
And then he starts asking questions about Tom Cruise,
and that's just such a funny, like,
let's stop pretending we give a fuck about your movie.
Yeah, Lederman was very, very funny
in that aspect of it.
I just always thought everybody was so, like,
trashing Leno.
It was just always funny to me.
I think they saw him as a sellout
because he used to be absolutely hysterical and then they saw him as like more of a uh corporate
uh shill if you will he's like i'm gonna take a tonight show job say again who's not gonna take
the tonight i wouldn't do the tonight show now uh well now i mean this is when tonight show is
the biggest thing on earth when he takes it. Right.
So, but, like, if someone offered you a talk show on something, I don't know.
Like, I don't know.
I mean, it's just so different now.
Yeah, it's different. But, yeah, I mean, there's just certain things.
You said you wouldn't do Netflix either, and you did that.
I'm a liar.
So maybe you would do the talk show.
I'm Hippocrates.
Right now, you're going to end up hosting the Tonight Show.
Would you do?
Because now, is that how you get stuff? You're like, I would never do
the Tonight Show. Nate, shut the fuck up.
This is how it works, bro.
Y'all edited that out. I'm not even in the picture anymore.
No, I...
Yeah, I don't know. I guess, I don't know.
I mean, it's okay to want somebody to continue
being the comic that you like them as.
Like, for example, a lot of people like you
because you're clean, and then all of a sudden you flip and you go dirty there might be people go you know why
is he fucking dirty and then you might defend it by being like look i got a show on fucking hbo
they wanted me to be dirty and then now i gotta be dirty now and they'll be like all right well
i'm allowed to not like you because you changed who you are yeah i liked you for this reason you're
no longer that so that's why i don't like you i think that was the relationship with leno to a lot of people i never knew him as a stand-up before that yeah
right but i i heard he was fucking killing like murder that's the stories always yeah and like i
weirdly love him for the car show i watch hours of his car show on youtube he's he became a youtuber
yeah it's the most amazing transition he went from he went from the tonight show host yeah to a
fucking youtuber never spent his tonight show money was what they always say yeah they want the stand-up money and then just put that somewhere
it's pretty wild wild i i don't know i i always i was like but i do i'm okay with people like
changing their tune on someone if that person changes who they are yeah you know i'm fine with
that too like if they if they want to if they that's why you want to stick to what you do like
there's not there's too many times where you know i remember like howard sterman always talked about that with napoleon dynamite with that actor yeah but being
like yeah go do that again man he's like no i'm not doing that now you're like well that's why we
like you and then because that's the thing like that's what he was yeah like that was a that was
such a random occurrence that that guy ended up playing himself like so i don't think he wrote the fucking
movie right he was just the actor yeah but somebody wrote a movie and then there just existed that
human being and then he like that's nuts yeah like yeah it's not often you just write a random
kind of borderline spectrum well it's definitely spectrumed out character and then they exist and
then they fucking murder it yeah but if that's who you are, you can't really change that.
Like, he's not going to go be in a fucking drama.
McLovin didn't be, he wasn't McLovin again.
Yeah.
Where's McLovin?
I don't even know his name.
He's McLovin.
He's McLovin.
Isn't that weird, though, that, like, that happens?
Like, you have these characters that get typecast.
And then, like, they do, like, a few movies.
And then they fall off.
And people are like, yeah, he's done.
And it's like, no, no, they were, like, the star the star of movies like that's really awesome movies yeah like how many people are in
film like the stifler character was so fucking funny do you know like he was just so he like
curated this character out of nowhere he just made this up he invented that's not who he is
he just invents his character it's incredible it makes us laugh in all these different movies
and then it stops making us laugh and then his career's over but like
he's not some loser like the guy was a fucking superstar yeah well that's how you know we talk
about sandler you're like sandler just does him i love it like and then he goes into emmy did
uncut gems and he's done a couple like other kind of crazy things everyone's well as you know he
could act he'll do one of those like it's great just like a little nod that's like just wearing like a real nice watch where
you're like i'm doing all right dude don't like you don't you got like a t-shirt on and they're
like is everything okay you're like look don't worry about it we're fine don't worry about what's
going on over here all right i'll pay for this uh like yeah he does like that kind of thing but he
builds his own yeah that's what's great it's like you build it is with what you're doing here and
the new kind of way is like it's it is
like you're building your own world you can't wrap your head around where you can start going like
all right if i start you know you think about it sometimes you're like with you know we have
with specials and all this you're like well they're here to see my special like how do i get
you got to get everybody to switch yeah or if you're like well what if i did do this but you like you do it you're like i'll put it out myself yeah because it's like it's my thing yeah and then
you know not saying i'm doing that but it's like uh i was a very always a mainstream guy yeah so
i was very you know i was never i never did good like i'm still not going to this rock venue like
i needed my audience like it was like it needs to be the main comedy
club in town yeah like they were never going to find the other club i mean they will they'll go
wherever you go but like i subscribe to that too i don't want to do comedy in a comic book store
i want to do comedy in the place that it's supposed to be done yeah you're coming into
my home that's how i feel at a comedy club i feel like it's my home yeah and you're a guest
yeah if i go do like the weird off-site thing i feel like i'm a guest yeah
yeah and i like it being my home yeah do you like theaters yeah i love the sound i love the behavior
i love like that and like when you first walk on and there's 2 000 people you're just like
what is this like what is what is happening it's show business it feels
it feels the most like show business there's union guys there's yeah yeah people are signing we i
talked like you always feel uh we talked about like uh an imposter feeling like you ever when
you go on you feel you're like who are these people here to see no you know they're there to see you no i don't have yeah i that is something i haven't struggled
with in entertainment i hear a lot of people talk about that but i don't i've only struggled that
with fame not with going on stage yeah yeah so like initially getting some fame early when i did
the mtv stuff i felt like i had to be funny like I was on the show to a stranger
to justify where I was.
I wasn't comfortable enough with it.
But the idea of going up and entertaining a group of people in the way that –
I'm not lying about who I am.
Who I am is who I am.
So it's not going to be a surprise.
You know what I'm saying?
That's New York.
Good for him. But I'm not lying to you for new york is like i think that is new
york this is no no no you know i but i i think it's like uh it's funny it's like it's the it's
the personality of i wonder if like being a new yorker like that's y'all are very confident
uh i i think like when you both like you're very
it's yeah you're just yelling the biggest pond i think yeah well there's a confidence to it that's
like you're you're friend you're from there dude like you're not like it's not like someone's like
i live there you're like yo dude i'm from it like you grew up there when it was terrible
and like uh and it was like so you're there's like uh i don't know there's a different i also
do think about this with home turf and i said this to you a couple times like uh i don't know there's a different i also do think about this
with home turf and i said this to you a couple times like when i i've been in new york for like
13 years now so it's a little different but before when i would go back to dallas i was so confident
dude i grew up here i know this yeah any show here is like brad i know this shit i'm so confident
and this is not to take away from your work ethic or talent or humor in any way but being able to
grow up in new york is another advantage in addition to everything else you do you're like yo i know
this place this is my place i think it is a huge advantage i think i think that i've always looked
at you know comedy is like this um combination of like extreme confidence and extreme insecurity
and like the insecurity drives your ability to get better and the confidence has to be enough where you feel
like the things you say should be said out loud yeah because there'll be times i remember like
like it's always at the strip for some reason like i'll be at the comic strip and then i'll
be like waiting to go on and i'll be like what is this oh yeah like why am i like what is this
like why am i and I love this trip.
I actually love performing this trip.
But, like, for whatever reason, every once in a while, I have this, and I'll be like,
why am I, why are we talking to people?
Like, what is this art?
Yeah.
Like, I just go on stage and I say things.
Why is this funny?
Why is this, why are they laughing?
No, no, no.
It's crazy.
Not necessarily why they're laughing.
Like, why is this a thing?
Why does this exist?
Why does this exist?
People pay money to go watch someone make them laugh it's it's like it's the uh it's the i guess art version of you know
when you say a word enough and it just doesn't make any sense oh yeah it's that for the art like
what is this thing that we are doing right now and why does this exist and then you go on stage
you know just get into it and all of a sudden it makes sense but i'll have those like little
little feelings but i think that that insecurity like i have to be my harshest fucking critic i have to be like i fucking sucked you can be better
at that you can get more efficient with your words and all that kind of stuff but i have to be
confident where i should say it because i think a lot of people i was talking about buddy mine
this weekend like he never even imagines himself having uh who support him. So he's not even trying to solve the problem of how to get his stuff out to them.
He's trying to solve the problem of, is my stuff even worth it for them to listen to?
So you wouldn't even put it out.
Exactly.
Like, you knew you were going to be you.
Yeah.
You're a humble dude, but you also knew you were going to do this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have the confidence. It's like that you, you know, but you also knew you were going to do this. Yeah, you have a confidence.
It's like that you, you know, and you have to.
I'm talking about you specifically.
I'm wrong to say that you didn't, you imagined this going kind of like this.
Yeah, but I always said I did.
I wanted it, but I never let my dreams or goals,
I never let them get too far from where I was at that time.
So I never wanted anything too far.
I never wanted to be like,
right now I can tell you I want to be able to sell out the Madison Square Gardens.
I want to.
But when I was younger, I never let myself get too far.
Because the farther your dream was or goal was the harder you're failing it's too
you can't reach it i'm just i'm handing out flyers yeah so it's stupid to go one day i'm going to be
selling out the garden well there you know how many steps there is before you get to that yeah
i'll never i'll never get there because it's it'll get too daunting but if i'm handing those
flyers out and i go i don't want to have to stand on this corner well that's something i can get and so then once you get it then you're you're you just keep doing then you're
like i don't want to have to stand at the door i want to go up i want to be able to go up whenever
i want to go up i want to be walking you know the biggest thing especially for us new york comics is
pop in popping in that like everybody always did that to us and all you think is and i remember
like when comics would get mad they're like what are you mad about why aren't they popping you're like how do you not
just want to do that that's the goal like you're like that's the goal you're like yeah dude like
i look at when chapelle comes in you're like i want to be chapelle i want to be able to walk
in and go up the reason there's three shows yeah because they never know who the fuck is going to
pop in it's not for us yeah i never had resentment about that as opposed to you
I never understood
but I hear what you're saying though
keep goals
I would compartmentalize
I'd almost treat it like college
when I go to college I want to graduate
but at the same time I understand I have to take this class right now
so this is what I'm doing for this amount of money
and your goals change
what's interesting is
comedy is very competitive.
Yeah.
And so first you hate everybody that gets everything.
You're mad about everything.
And then you just watch those names kind of go away.
Yeah.
So then your competition, you're just watching it kind of change.
You're like it's – at the beginning it's so many people.
And then you kind of – you get confident and you get comfortable,
go like I know I'm kind of past that point. And you're there's a new group and then there's a new group
and so you just kind of keep rising up and you start going like huh like who you're trying to
get above yeah it's smaller like you're not there's not that many people that you're like
now you're looking at it going like all right like i'm going after eight guys or something
versus i would before it was small
like even new york i would look at it i'd be like well how many guys are funny i know this sounds
crazy but like if we're being our honest selves right now i know but everybody was getting stuff
i'm just saying you you would know that like you if you didn't get something and someone else did
you're like you're kind of mad at everybody getting stuff no yeah yeah i think no one's
funny like you know like so it's like how do i be funnier than these few people that i think You're kind of mad at everybody getting stuff. No, yeah. I think no one's funny.
It's like, how do I be funnier than these few people that I think are hilarious?
Why are they getting that and I'm not?
I'm never worried about the getting shit.
Oh, I did.
But maybe I got some stuff.
I mean, I was upset that I wasn't getting stuff in stand-up, but I was like, I knew how to get it.
I'm just not going to sacrifice what I want to do.
Yeah.
Because I was like, I know if I do what I want to do. You got mtv i got mtv early i just never got anything in stand-up yeah and i was
just like i know what to do to get it like i saw what the guys are doing to get it and i'm just
like i don't want to do that and i know that this is what a large group of people want so i'm going
to find a way to eventually get it to them i I didn't know what the fuck it was. But I knew eventually they'll see it.
Because the proof is in the pudding.
You get to go up.
You get to go up with the guy that got the thing you didn't get.
And you get to follow him or go before him.
So you know what time.
We all know what time it is.
There's a lot of, you know, everybody could talk the shit.
But at the end of the day, it's the same stage.
And we're all going to go up.
And we know who's going to be funny.
So you mean like a Tonight Show, you show you would be like never cared about tonight show okay but as an example if you're if you wanted the tonight show and you're
like we're all over here auditioning to get on tonight show you looked at as like well i'll
figure a way to where then the night show is going to invite me on yeah like i would so you're gonna
go you're like it doesn't matter how i get there i'll get there do another what would the best version of me on the tonight show be okay i'll do that
yeah it's like a sitting down on being a guest to pay because i would see guys and i'd be like oh
nate is gonna murder on the tonight show because i think we've even had this conversation weirdly
enough like like oh because when nate goes on tonight show he's gonna do jokes that are gonna
be similar to when people see him after watching him on The Tonight Show.
Yeah.
And then I'd see guys that I know fucking murder then go do this like neutered version of themselves on The Tonight Show.
And I was like, well, I don't want them to see.
Yeah, I don't want that.
So I said to myself, I was like, I'm not doing The Tonight Show unless I organically have five minutes that happens to be clean enough for the
tonight show and works yeah and if i organically have it i'll start to put it together and cut
things here and blah blah blah i'll sew it together but i'm not gonna force it for this
thing that i don't really care like i don't watch fucking the tonight show yeah you know yeah and um
and that's kind of how i always i always looked at it but i had the guys that thought were brilliant and brilliant for different reasons and they showed me what i was lacking
and they showed me the things that i needed to improve on and i would just have hyper focus
about that and it could be like skill things it could be personality things it could be tone
like you know guys like you were saying earlier with like burr like he could he set the tone in the fucking room i would always focus on who changes the room
yeah who who changes the fucking energy in the room yeah when i walk off i want the energy to
be different yeah you know what i'm saying like well it's like that's when they don't know that's
the when they don't know you there's nothing better when they do when they don't know you
and then they're like what was was that? What the fuck?
That's the greatest thing ever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, something about that.
And you still have it now, even though when people come to see you,
because you're always going to get compared to really kind of how they found you.
Yeah.
So for me, like the Tennessee kid on Netflix is like,
I'm always kind of compared to that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so you got to be better than that. One of the cool things about stand-up though compared to well i guess maybe music is
similar in this regard but like like i can listen to an album or like a song and i can just love the
fucking song i think it's amazing right stand-up if you're killing in person is always twice three
times four times as good oh yeah so like if they see
the special and they're laughing they don't even know what's gonna happen in person like
you know what i mean when you're murdering in a crowd you know when you you can hear them doing
so good and it's early you're like dude i'm not even to my good hey hey we can warm up
there's there's nothing that's like the only time i'll like it's like you kind of
come out of this like you kind of start laughing or smiling on stage because you're like i can't
believe this is doing this like there you can believe it but this crowd's so good and you're
like dude i am like you just feel it and there's it's it's an amazing that's why the musicians want
to always be there's always
that we want they want to be comedians comedians want to be rock stars because i want to feel what
it feels like to i don't know music always makes me i'm a little annoyed with it because they like
they get a you know they can just write one song and yeah i have no interest in being a rock star
but i can see why they'd want to be us you want to feel it i would want to feel the crowd of like
you know you'll watch those videos like where they're
they're singing the song back to them and you're like that's pretty wild like yeah and you did
this song one time and they want to hear it a thousand i do a joke one time you hear it once
you're like it's over that shelf life is so short for santa when we were in nashville we wrote a
country song yeah yeah right and um with some like super talented guys like jelly roll and there's a
guy i don't even know if we're allowed to say his name on it but he's like a you know like a really established kind of like
country guy and uh and when when i went up and did shows at west palm beach we like play the song
it's like a fun song and and the fucking crowd knew the song and as i was going on stage and
we all sang like the latin thing and i was like oh this shit is different bro like it's a different thing now i've also went up with
that song and nobody knew the lyrics and that's worse than bombing
that is fucking painful dude but when they know it yeah it's it's cool i mean think how cool happy
birthday is yeah like even when it's not your birthday,
when you're singing somebody happy birthday,
everybody's on it.
Yeah, yeah.
It is, but I do get how that could probably get.
It's not the same as, because laughing is,
you know when they're going to laugh,
but it's always a little different.
It's always a little kind of like, you know,
you basically kind of know, you know where the joke is,
so you obviously know, like. Yeah, yeah, like, I always think, I'll think that too, how crazy it is in my
head that you write a joke and in my head I could go laugh now.
Yeah.
And like, you just, you're looking at a word and you go, I know once the last syllable
of that word comes out, you all laugh.
And that's so crazy to be like, making someone laugh is like not easy.
It's hard.
And like,
and to get it to go,
I know now.
Yeah.
And like,
uh,
it's pretty wild.
Yeah.
So I think that's what we,
we get that feeling and we're in control.
We're up there alone.
You get no break.
I always think that's always kind of weird.
Like you never get like a moment,
like a drummer can just go pee.
Like during the,
during the,
during the, like it's crazy to be like, can you imagine like just, if you're like a moment, like a drummer can just go pee. Like during the, like it's crazy to be like a bank.
Can you imagine like just, if you're like a drummer could be like,
I ran to Walgreens real fast and grabbed something.
And you're like, you did?
You're like, yeah, no one even knows I'm back here, dude.
Like it's, yeah.
Yeah.
You know what?
Stand-up is also unique in that like a song is the song.
Like you're going to sing the song.
It's going to crescendo where it crescendos. Like you can manipulate it a bit. Like obviously with jazz and stuff, you can like stay song is the song like you're gonna sing the song it's gonna crescendo where crescendo is like you can manipulate it a bit like obviously with jazz and stuff you can like
stay in a moment but like with stand-up if you like hit a chord like you get to just like keep
your foot on it like yeah i'm gonna tag and i might never do this joke like this again
but i'm looking at people in the audience and they are they're they're getting laughed out like you know oh yeah and then you just you can keep keep going yeah and that i don't know what else there
that exists in boxing in the most brutal way right like because like once they get kind of
yeah then you just yeah but that i think is where we have and that i guess only exists within comics
they can kind of like separate themselves from the act a little bit or the exact like words within the bit.
But that is a special moment.
Like seeing people like just keep on.
There's nothing better.
Yeah.
Nothing better.
Making someone laugh, you just, they feel,
you know how good it feels to laugh.
Yeah.
Make them do that.
Yeah, there's nothing better.
My mom would always say that.
She's like, you're very lucky. I lucky i go why she goes uh you do something uh ethical for a living i go what do
you mean i'm like telling jokes like this is stupid i'm not a fucking like doctor or anything
like that he's like she's like yeah but you don't have to feel bad about what you do like yeah you
make people laugh and they'll like feel good you're not some fucking savior or anything but
what you do will make people
feel good usually yeah and that's really lucky because it could be like an insurance one of
those guys that like makes to see if you get money back for your house or not yeah you know it was
your fault you left the door open for the flood you're gonna get like that's someone's job sorry
yeah so we would make fun of that guy why'd you leave the door open that guy comes to the comedy show
just to get away and then you're like look at this idiot he's got his house flooded he's like
this is the opposite of what i wanted anyway nate thank you so much for coming on man we appreciate
you uh we support you big fans over here it's great to see what you've carved out for yourself
congrats to you guys too you are i love seeing you guys. You're building your own world.
It is.
So check out Nate on all those places.
And that's it.
God bless, man.
Peace.
See you, buddy.
See you.