Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Our Burning Man: Overdoses, Broken Bones & TRUE LOVE

Episode Date: September 8, 2022

Hey guys, here’s a our story about going to the greatest city on earth… Burning Man. It brought me incredible joy to share this place with the boys. Great times were had… as well as stressful on...es. Everyone survived… barely. Enjoy our journey and if you feel the itch one year in the future… INDULGE! 00:00 - Dov really Doved it up 19:00 - Andrew is really selfish, yo 33:45 - Magic Mark-son got Monkeypox? 44:27 - Andrew’s friend Chris nearly ruined Burning Man 55:26 - Drugs are bad… mmmkay 01:24:28 - Blond:ish made Andrew feel all the feels 01:39:11 - Everyone wants to go back… not Akaash 01:52:00 - Mark roasted Vala 01:54:37 - Alexx loves not being Black

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flagrant. Dove's coming down from an amazing trip to Burning Man. We had all the boys come to Burning Man, which is the most magical place on Earth. It's literally my favorite place in existence. I think it's the most creative, inspirational, kindest, most generous. I'm the best version of myself there, and I think you find the most impressive and incredible version of humanity there. That being said,
Starting point is 00:00:25 there is a cost. There is a cost. We didn't do a Tuesday episode, so apologies for that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't do a Tuesday episode. That's part of the cost. You guys got to pay, too.
Starting point is 00:00:34 You guys had to pay in that regard. So we have a lot of funny stories that I'm sure we'll get in. I don't know exactly where to start from this, but, Dov, you definitely came in hot to the studio today. Fuck off.
Starting point is 00:00:44 What do you mean, fuck off? Why fuck off? Why are you so angry at me? Why are you so angry at me? This was a great place. Because you ended a magical trip with you. You came back huge. Yo, on the playa, you guys were so,
Starting point is 00:00:59 there was no fighting whatsoever. It was so beautiful, harmonious. Then Molly or XC would hit, and then Dove would do this really adorable thing. Can you go to the wide? Can you go to the wide? Stand up. We'd be hanging and we'd be dancing and Dub would come up next to me and then he'd just kind of
Starting point is 00:01:13 tug his arm like that and then we'd just be both dancing together. That was the most beautiful sweet thing. When you were on Tesla, he was like, hey, go up and hug Andrew right now. He wants to give love. He goes, he wants to give love, and he's hugging fucking strangers. So just go give him a hug. No, I was hugging Scotty, bro.
Starting point is 00:01:30 I was hugging Scotty. Scotty gave Alex Coke. Not that I gave it to you. No, I didn't do that Coke. I didn't do that Coke. You didn't do that Coke. You didn't do Coke. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:01:41 But I didn't do Scotty's Coke. But shout out Scotty, man. Yeah, it was just, I don't know. What a cool fucking time. How did you guys like it? I was excited. Oh, yeah, or maybe Akash. How did you like it?
Starting point is 00:01:55 It was about eight magical hours, and then I fucking destroyed my foot. Akash came in five days late. He was supposed to get there Tuesday. He ends up coming Thursday. Built his bike. Somehow finds a way to puncture a hole in it, which was, I think, an allegory
Starting point is 00:02:12 or something like that. He punctures a hole in the tire, which is God going, don't take the bike. I told you guys. Didn't I tell you? I said I should not be on this fucking bike. But the plier provides and Ben Uyeda comes in and finds a way to get a new bike tire. Switches the bike tire. We get the bike going. Hakashi gets this fucking bike. But the playa provides, and Ben Uyeda comes in and finds a way to get a new bike tire, switches the bike tire.
Starting point is 00:02:27 We get the bike going. Hakosu gets on the bike. We're biking. The first time we're biking, falls off, breaks his foot. But we didn't know that. We left. Oh, that's right. Yeah, we just left.
Starting point is 00:02:39 I was trying to keep up with y'all. I was coming down, and I was like, I don't have enough energy for all this. Somehow Chris was there, and I was like, I can't do it. I all this. Somehow Chris was there and I was like, I can't do it. I can't do it. I'm so happy you invited him. I didn't. Because he's the one that took me to the hospital. No, Bobby did.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Okay, well, either way, he's the one that took me to the hospital. The rest of you guys were fucking zonked out at like three in the afternoon. I'm sitting there busting my ankle 15 hours and I didn't know I fucked it up. I've been walking on it all night like I'm fine. Yeah, yeah. Then I took my shoe off and it just blew up. Oh, that's right. Oh, because you were on Adderall.
Starting point is 00:03:06 I had a quarter of an Addy, then a quarter of an Addy. And I was like, I don't think this is working. And then later, later that day. He didn't think it was working. This is Adderall. They give this to children. They literally prescribe it to nine-year-olds. And we put them in front of like this art thing that had like lights going up and down. You put on some glasses. And Akash put on the glasses and everything turned to children. They literally prescribe it to nine-year-olds. And we put them in front of, like, this art thing that had, like, lights going up and down.
Starting point is 00:03:25 You put on some glasses. And Akash put on the glasses, and everything turned to hearts. He goes, what the fuck? Son, that was so amazing. The youthful cheer. He puts them on, he goes, get the fuck out of here. Holy shit!
Starting point is 00:03:46 I did that! I did that! Oh, you gotta try these on, bro! You gotta try these on! What the fuck? That was with a broken ankle. With a broken ankle. Oh, fuck. And I was like, yo, this Adderall ain't doing shit.
Starting point is 00:04:01 And then I was like, how did I walk fucking eight hours on a broken foot? And I was like, oh, the Adderall was I was like, how did I walk fucking eight hours on a broken foot? And I was like, oh, the animal was effective. Wait, how did you break your ankle falling off the bike?
Starting point is 00:04:10 It's sad. I don't know, I'm me. He said it's sad. It's sad. I don't know, something got caught in the bike somehow
Starting point is 00:04:20 as it fell. I don't, to be honest, I don't know, I'm me. I'd be breaking shit in a way that you shouldn't, nobody else should get hurt riding a fucking e-bike. It don't, to be honest, I don't know. I'm me. Yeah. I be breaking shit in a way that you shouldn't. Nobody else should get hurt
Starting point is 00:04:26 riding a fucking e-bike. It's cat, bro. It's motherfuckers like, if I hurt myself, I just stay in awe and be arrested. Yeah, he was ready to go.
Starting point is 00:04:34 I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,
Starting point is 00:04:36 I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,
Starting point is 00:04:37 I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,
Starting point is 00:04:37 I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,
Starting point is 00:04:39 I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,
Starting point is 00:04:39 I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,
Starting point is 00:04:39 I was like, I was like, I was like, Yeah. Yeah. Three more times. Yeah, yeah, where we got the... Yeah. Yeah. That was crazy. Three more times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, where I helped you.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Thank you. So, do you feel like you're coming down a little bit? No. It's okay. We all have the come down. No, I'm fine. Yeah? I'm great.
Starting point is 00:04:58 You sure? You know I'm great. You know I'm great. You sound great. He was being complimenting me. I'm fine. I'm fine. It wasn't that funny. being complimenting me. It's boring. It's boring. It wasn't that funny.
Starting point is 00:05:07 When you left, you left in the craziest way. Yo, that was nuts. Nobody knew. Like a bad one, son. You just hopped on the back of a truck, son. It was your way out. Like a garbage man, bro. Just fucking hanging on.
Starting point is 00:05:19 No, not a garbage man. The garbage he left on the trailer. Oh, yeah. His underwear and everything else that I had to fucking clean up. It's like, I had your clothes in my suitcase. I was like,
Starting point is 00:05:27 what the fuck? Listen, it took Dove like a few days. I enjoyed Burning Man. I had a good ass time. I was wondering when it was going to kick in with Dove, right?
Starting point is 00:05:38 And specifically because like one of Dove's greatest skills in life and how he provides a lot of value for like his friends and family is negotiating. Yeah, that too.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Is negotiating. And crying wolf. He does that a lot. Oh, well, we'll get to that. We'll get to that soon. But one of his amazing abilities is to negotiate. And now he's in a place where there's no need for negotiation. You're back on this little fucking thesis of yours?
Starting point is 00:06:04 Shut up. I dance harder than you. I provided every party for negotiation. You're back on this little fucking thesis of yours? Shut up! I dance harder than you. I provided every party for everyone. Every DJ that you wanted to see. You followed Dove. What I said in a nice way is what Dove does for value is take from people and give to his friends. He takes
Starting point is 00:06:19 and gives, right? So now he's in a position where he doesn't have to take because people are willing to give. How does he find that? And I swear to God, it was like day three. And he walked up to me at like breakfast or something like that. He's like, hey, man, can I get you a beer or something? And I was like, what? And I didn't say anything about it.
Starting point is 00:06:36 And I went to Al. I was like, did you see Dove? And he like gave me something without needing anything. And then he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, okay, we'll be quiet. Let it happen. And then the next day, the next day, he comes in. And they're like, hey, you guys thirsty?
Starting point is 00:06:50 You guys want a drink or anything like that? I'm like, holy shit, it's like really taking on. Two nights later, we're all in the RV, absolutely fucking shit-faced. It's actually the morning. It's like 10 a.m., right? We're absolutely destroyed. Dove comes in with a girl, right?
Starting point is 00:07:04 Right? He comes in, and Do right right he comes in and dove started making sandwiches for everybody and i cannot believe he literally and i thought he was just going to make it for himself and then all of a sudden the sandwich comes over my shoulder and it's and it's not just a bullshit sandwich you want it's it's with the the fucking sauce he likes the mayo and shit like that so he's putting the mayo the cheese the chipotle man the thing oh let me get oh gosh do you want one? You want a sandwich, you want a quesadilla.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Everything like that, right? The girls went, and all of a sudden he goes, oh, I think I need something from the other RV to make the sandwiches perfect. Goes back out, comes back in, right? He goes, oh, yeah, I guess we didn't have any more. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? I'm like, Dove has really changed, right? He goes back in to the other RV with the girl and then we wake up
Starting point is 00:07:46 like six hours later and I'm like, hey, I just want to let you know that was like really sweet that you like made those sandwich for us and it's like amazing to see what's going on
Starting point is 00:07:53 and like how this is taking hold of you and like you've become this like generous, kind person. He goes, no, I just had another girl sleep in the RV
Starting point is 00:08:00 and I couldn't take mine in there. Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! I had to make y'all some sandwiches so she would get the fuck up after I was in there. I was like, you stay here.
Starting point is 00:08:13 I gotta handle something. I went searching for fucking Chipotle mayo seven times trying to get this girl out the bed. She hung out there the whole night. It was crazy. Nobody told me this bitch was in there. Same, same. I go to Dove's room, and she's sleeping in Dove's room. And then I just see a girl there.
Starting point is 00:08:31 I'm like, what the fuck is going on? I thought I was in the wrong RV. I was like, fuck, I did too many drugs. By the way, you know how you know Dove was still Dove? We have an RV, right? There's like a bedroom area with a curtain, full-size bed, clean-size bed, whatever it is. Dov is there. Al is in like a bunk that's not great,
Starting point is 00:08:48 but it's also your own space. They save the couch for me. Fine, I'm there late. That's how it should go. But Dov says to me, you actually have the best spot because it's right underneath the air conditioning. I'm like, it's the fucking loveseat, bro.
Starting point is 00:08:59 It's too short for me. It's too short for me. How is the best spot? We saved it for you. But we told you not to sleep there. Direct flow. Top down, direct flow. Top is the king, bro.
Starting point is 00:09:15 By the way, it was a very simple fix. I did one thing and then you were like, how the fuck did you get the AC to work? I was like, bro, you just close this vent and then it spreads throughout the whole trailer. He didn't want the girl to have the AC because he didn't want her to be that comfy. So we turned off the AC. Yeah, boiler frog. I want to say that's the truth,
Starting point is 00:09:32 but I did that to Alex, actually, so I could get the bedroom. Yo! No, you can't. It's motherfucking hot. No, you're just... This guy is crazy. Alex runs hot,
Starting point is 00:09:43 and the upstairs area is closer to the fence. Hot air rising, so. Hot air rose up. He came back to bite him in the ass because he hated the room because it was so hot. That was me acting. I hated it. Y'all believe this?
Starting point is 00:09:56 Y'all believe him? Wait, y'all really believe this? You deserve everything. Thank you. Why do you think I feel bad for him? Why do you think I feel bad for him? I'm kidding. Thank you. And y' think I didn't feel better? Why do you think I didn't feel better? Are you kidding me? Thank you.
Starting point is 00:10:06 And y'all let him text y'all on the side. We'll let you back in crazy. He's in crazy ways. On this motherfucker. We made an agreement in the beginning. We're like, oh, we'll do two days and switch off or whatever the case is. And then Dove was like, shit, your area is so cold. You can just, I'll let you keep it or whatever the case is.
Starting point is 00:10:24 Like, he's just being so nice. And I'm like, fuck. Every day he's like, damn, I woke up sweating again, bro. This motherfucker. Show me that you could reroute it. I really don't think he knew because when I did, he pulled from the closed curtain. He goes, what did you just do? Can we tell you about that curtain?
Starting point is 00:10:43 He did. He showed me the reroute. Can we tell you about that curtain curtain? He did. Hold on. Can we tell you all about that curtain? Okay. On the way up. So Dove goes, as you can tell from this podcast, he goes zero to 100 about every single thing. If there's a rapper in the office that is misplaced, he's screaming at Miles. He says, I quit.
Starting point is 00:10:58 He hates that music. None of you guys can have snacks anymore. He tries to take their snacks like they're six years old, like they don't make money. Who still buys the crunchy granolas? They get everywhere. You know when a mom has had enough of her kids? Yeah, this is where Dov is. That's Dov all the time. 100.
Starting point is 00:11:09 Always. 100 a year. So they're driving up. Alex and Dov are driving up, OK? Vala and me are driving up, splitting the drive in another argument. Splitting what? Splitting what?
Starting point is 00:11:21 You drove, I paid. We're splitting the drive. Splitting, splitting, yeah. Everybody has their responsibility. Everybody has their gift to the kid. I even fell asleep on the drive. Oh, you weren't even awake. I didn't fall asleep. I didn't fall asleep.
Starting point is 00:11:31 Let's see where you went. Let's see where you went. Were you in the passenger seat? Yeah, I went to the bed. Oh my God. How crazy is that? Crash that shit, bro. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Take it off the road. No, I didn't. I didn't. No, I kept doing that. I kept going off the road. I was going off the road. He's like, oh, oh, oh. He's like, oh Nah, nah, nah. Take it off the road. No, I didn't. No, I kept doing that.
Starting point is 00:11:47 I kept going off the road. Brrr. He's like, oh, oh, oh. I wake up to that. So I was in the front seat. I didn't go to that. All right. So we're driving, right?
Starting point is 00:11:58 Now, what none of us know in this moment is Dove actually has like a crippling fear of dangerous driving because he's lost lives. He lost friends. People he loves. People he loves to car accidents. So he is like hyperventilating like through text with us all the time. Now, Al can now
Starting point is 00:12:18 listen. They're following us, so we're just going as fast as Vala can go, right? And then Al's following us. Al drives quickly already. He's a fast driver. So I get these, I start getting separate texts from Tom. Now, I'm thinking it's the same thing as the Diet Coke in the office, right?
Starting point is 00:12:33 And he's like, what Alex is doing right now is disrespectful. He keeps saying disrespectful. He goes, this is just disrespectful. Read the text. I'll flip the table over is just. I don't know what's going on. Read the text. I'll flip the table over right now. I'll flip the, I'll burn this shit down, bitch. Listen, Al doesn't even drive.
Starting point is 00:12:53 His Tesla drives. He puts weights on the wheels. He sets it to 95. Wow. Wow. I told you. I'll burn this shit down. I told you my shit.
Starting point is 00:13:02 I told you my shit. I told you my shit. He just said Tesla. He got high. Look at that. That's how you say it. It's a button. All right, so. So there you go.
Starting point is 00:13:11 I get the text from Doug, right? I'm following there. I know. I get the text from Doug. First it starts to ask, could you guys please slow down a little bit? And we go, we're just driving whatever miles per hour. It's fine. He goes, listen.
Starting point is 00:13:24 He goes, this is a huge fear of mine. I'm telling Alex to slow down. I'm asking him to slow down and he is just disrespecting me. He will not do it. I literally said, can you just go the speed limit? And then Al said to me, and I quote, and he puts quotes, he goes,
Starting point is 00:13:41 that's not how I drive. Yo, I love it. I love it. I told Vala, because I'm dying laughing. I can't die laughing and not tell Vala. We stop in a random place. There's donkeys outside.
Starting point is 00:13:55 It's like the most like middle America shit you've ever seen in your life. And then we're all laughing at it because I think it's Diet Coke. I think it's whatever, right? And Duff finds out that I told Vala and he goes up to me and he goes, you shared my personal text messages.
Starting point is 00:14:11 That was odd. My personal text messages. This guy cries wolf all the time. Cries wolf? This is how Al passes. These are two fucking RVs. Let me tell you. A small car passes a fucking semi-truck.
Starting point is 00:14:26 Vala, at 85, is passing the other one. We're at an incline RV. As soon as he gets in and passes on a two-lane highway, I was like, well, I guess I'll go too, which is the absolute opposite of how you fucking pass. Even in a car, you wouldn't do that shit. And I was like, gotta go. And he's just like, let me take, let God take the wheel.
Starting point is 00:14:44 And he fucking follows Vala by like hundreds of yards. Five seconds after we go on the lane, a fucking blue semi truck just comes right in there. I'm like, you can die. Four hours prior, you were asking me to drive 10 miles under the speed limit. What about that? Never 10 miles per hour in the speed limit. You're an RV. You Google it, you just Google it, you're like, you're on an RV.
Starting point is 00:15:05 RV's top speed is 55 miles per hour. 55 miles per You're an RV. You Google it, you just Google it, you're like, you're on an RV? RV's top speed is 55 miles per hour. 55 miles per hour in an RV, you can't go faster than that. I'm like, yo, Dub, the speed limit's 70. I was driving 65. All right, do 60 then. I'm like, Dub, we're not doing below speed. You just drive. If you just drove, then it would be fine.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Oh, dude. Oh, no. And then started going 70 miles per hour. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately. Like, because he controlled it, oh, I'm fine going the speed limit. I'll drive 90 myself. This guy, he doesn't even drive his own car.
Starting point is 00:15:34 The Tesla drives. You guys understand this? He gives me his story. He goes, you guys understand this? What car do you drive? I don't even have a car, though. I'll even tell you the story. You don't have a car.
Starting point is 00:15:43 No, you had a Tesla. That's right, you're too cheap to pay for an auto, Doug. Doug was so upset. When you left, when you left, Doug came in. Doug came in. He came to see our feet. He goes, okay, guys, so, um. He's already positioning how we're all going to help clean up Alex's mess, right? So he's like, okay, guys, so, um... He's already positioning how we're all going to help
Starting point is 00:16:06 clean up Alex's mess, right? So he's like, okay, guys, so, um, I understand people are leaving soon, and, you know, like, while we all have the group here, I think it's probably best if we collaborate and just, you know, get all the things out of the RV in the best way we can. And I'm like, yeah, that's a good idea.
Starting point is 00:16:21 And then Doug just goes, I fucking knew this was going to happen. He said that's not good idea. And then Doug just goes, I fucking knew this was going to happen. He said that's not what they told me. He was so tight at you. He was so tight at you. He left fucking underwear on the upstairs thing where I had to clean up. Like, it's gross.
Starting point is 00:16:36 It's selfish. Stop. Disrespectful. He disrespects them. Mark, open up your mouth. Your RV was pretty clean too, wasn't it, right? Yeah. It was? No. What RV was pretty clean too, wasn't it, right? Yeah. It was?
Starting point is 00:16:46 No. What am I supposed to say, though? What's the right answer? IBSD. Even Akash with his limp fucking foot came in there, sat on his couch, and reached for a shirt to try to clean up. That was almost worse, but it was actually sweet. But Akash trying to clean was so nice and also annoying. He was so annoying.
Starting point is 00:17:05 He was just like, I gave you air conditioning. He's dumb. And he made the biggest thing. He got a sprained fucking ankle. He starts bringing up fucking ladies and shit. That's what they told me. Stop it, bro.
Starting point is 00:17:18 You sprained your ankle. He still has to get an MRI. He doesn't know. He don't have to get shit. You could do what we all do when we play basketball. Sprain a fucking ankle. If you walk it, you good. He doesn't know. He don't have to get shit. You can do what we all do when we play basketball. Sprain a fucking ankle. If you're walking, you good.
Starting point is 00:17:27 No, but he pretended good, though. Because I was watching you when no one was watching you. And I was trying to see because you were going to the RV. And I was sneaking. I was like, oh, he's about to walk. I fucking know it. And then you did a limp. And you're like, uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:17:39 I was like, I'm going to play. I'm going to play. I'm a method actor. You know what I mean? Method, bro. He's like, Christian Bale, bro. I've never seen anything like it I know. Method, bro. I'm like, Christian Bale, bro. I've never seen anything like it. Guys are so zay, bro.
Starting point is 00:17:49 I'm the machinist, yo. Okay. Okay. So, despite what it sounds like, we had an absolutely amazing time. I just want to laugh right now. First, Walmart. Say again? What's up, Walmart?
Starting point is 00:18:03 Listen. What about it? Is again? What about it? That's a liar. Get out Andrew now. Because y'all I convert to Judaism. No, no, no. We don't want you. I convert to Judaism.
Starting point is 00:18:20 I thought he'd be on my side. I thought I could get him on my side. This guy thought it was War of the Worlds, and he was Tim Robbins. Remember when Tom was with us? No, we don't. Tom. Stay on it.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Don't let him slip out. Don't let him get out. That's a clip. That's a clip. That was it. Robbins. Marketing. War of the Worlds.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Is it no Bob? Nope. It'll be well after. It'll be well after. This psychopath thought that we were going to survive. It's a sleeper. It's a no-bop. Nope. It'll do well after. It'll do well after. This psychopath thought that we were going to survive. It's a sleeper.
Starting point is 00:18:49 It's a sleeper. Okay, so we did a gallon a person. Andrew went three gallons a person. Andrew told us, you load. God forbid,
Starting point is 00:18:55 they're emptying the fucking aisles we're going to go and this is the worst thing that I found out afterwards. What is this? It's a no-bop.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Alex, you tell the story. Doug is too emotional about it. It's all getting lost. He just seems a hunch. Alex, you tell the story. Doug is too emotional about it. It's all getting lost. He just seems like a great guy. You tell the story. So the original plan was for us to go early. We were going to spend a night in Reno and then have a nice, comfortable drive in the morning,
Starting point is 00:19:16 get there Sunday morning. All of a sudden, Hedru pulls an audible, where he's like, we're going tonight. We're talking. We're going tonight. What would make him make a decision like that? I know, right? Maybe sleeping while Vala was driving the whole time.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Vala is exhausted. He's like, bro, I've been driving for 12 fucking hours. He was crazy. It's crazy. It just hit him that was selfish. He had no idea that was selfish. For real. For real. That just hit me.
Starting point is 00:19:48 I kept saying shit like, we got energy, right? We all got energy. Hey, hey, hey. We can do it. Y'all tired, right? The whole time I'm looking at him like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:04 We got energy. we got energy. So you're right, we got energy. Fuck! Yo, Vala, bro, for literally the first six hours, Vala couldn't reach the pedal. So, bro, he couldn't reach the pedal. And I tried to get the chair forward, but I was too tired and I was like, I don't think it goes.
Starting point is 00:20:20 And so the first six hours, he's like, please, he's coming. That's why we were going eight miles per hour, because his leg was fully extended. That's the only way. He can manage the pedal. He's also got nerve damage in that leg that makes it completely freeze. And he was telling me...
Starting point is 00:20:35 So he was telling me this story, and I'm like, well, just freeze it up, you're right! Freeze control, motherfucker. Let's go. Are you happy using a safe RV, bro? The funniest shit was, a safe RV, bro? The funniest shit was I was like, oh, fuck yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:20:48 We're going to get out. I was like, oh, can't wait to stretch my legs. He's like, fuck you mean stretch your legs? You've been stretching your legs for a while. I was like,
Starting point is 00:20:55 yeah, stretch, man. You can't even reach the pedal. Is that a stretch? You get spasms in your hands. We were suffering, right? This is now hour 12. This is what I learned about Walmart. This is what I learned about Walmart.
Starting point is 00:21:05 This is what I learned after the fact. No, let's keep fucking it up. Let Al tell. Because you realize we didn't understand anything was wrong
Starting point is 00:21:11 until Al pointed it out. No, we got to let him tell their story. You just said to me right there, that was crazy. This is interesting to coach your quarterback.
Starting point is 00:21:18 It gets so much better. Keep going, son. It's like 9 p.m. Burning Man starts at midnight. That's why he loves Burning Man starts at midnight That's why he loves Burning Man He doesn't have to ask to be selfish People just give him shit
Starting point is 00:21:30 So he's like, yo this is the best It's five days of getting gifts And I don't have to demand that So I think we got another Two, three hour drive to get to Burning Man So he's like perfect So now he's like we got to get there before they're open So we beat the rush
Starting point is 00:21:51 So he's going like a crazy madman in Walmart He's like we got to get everything Everything he's just throwing it in the fucking car I'm like yo what is going on He's yelling at Dub Yelling at Bala He's just screaming I'm like yo what is going on
Starting point is 00:22:04 You took an Adderall. He's like, no, I didn't. Motherfucker. Motherfucker. Motherfucker. Dub was like, hey, can I, like, you know, just get a few personal things for me? He's like, no.
Starting point is 00:22:15 We give them everything first. Then I'll give people time to get their little personal items. Bro, it was. We need a sub. So everybody's walking on eggshells. He's like, shit. Let's not piss them off. So we buy the whole store.
Starting point is 00:22:27 We would buy every single bag of ice. They have probably all the water. They had all the fucking water. Literally every bag of ice. Every single piece of stuff. I almost left a single bag of ice. I asked him. I asked him.
Starting point is 00:22:39 I literally. I almost left one and I thought that that would be more disrespectful. There's a crazy story about the ice, and you should really tell people out loud. This is the craziest part of the entire story. What? In the camp that we joined, you have to sign up for work shifts,
Starting point is 00:22:53 four-hour work shifts, serving dinner, running the VR, cleaning a bathroom. That's just part of the priority effort. One is like, you supply ice and go on an ice run. Andrew's ice run was the first day we were going to go the next day. Can I say one thing?
Starting point is 00:23:06 Little did we know that we helped Andrew fulfill his fucking duties by going to Walmart and selling the ice and then delivering it to them. So instead of at Burning Man going on an ice run, we fucking did his fucking work. We did. We did. Can I say one thing? Can I say one thing? We did it.
Starting point is 00:23:24 But wait, no, no, wait. But then when he delivered the ice to them, he made sure to go to every single person at this camp. He's like, hey guys, you got ice? Did you need ice? I just brought it over here. It's over here. He made sure they knew.
Starting point is 00:23:36 He brought the ice, and it's right here. Then he went to the next person. It's the same combo with that person. That's like when you tip at a bar, and you got to make sure the bartender sees you. Listen, listen. But he just started to go to people that didn't even matter. He's like, yo, can you do one thing?
Starting point is 00:23:49 Listen. When we arrive, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. Do it. Okay, look. All right. The last shift that was open, because all you motherfuckers took all the shifts,
Starting point is 00:24:09 I don't think you did a single thing, but not surprisingly. I did a VR shift. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. Really? Yeah. Do you mean RV shift?
Starting point is 00:24:16 When you had the girl in there? Is that? No, the reality tent, which I did. You did one or two? Because you're supposed to do two. Go fuck your face. Go fuck your face. Second shift, it was broken,
Starting point is 00:24:25 but go fuck your face. And then the first shift, was it broken or was it not? No, I did the first show. You know what the VR was? Yes,
Starting point is 00:24:33 the tree was awesome. Oh, great. Yeah. What about ice? Go back. I don't believe he did it, but we'll figure that out.
Starting point is 00:24:39 So, we got there, right? I knew he was doing it. I knew it. I was like, bro, I'm selfish. You selfish fuck. I already did my shit.
Starting point is 00:24:49 You fucking lied. Me carrying your ice to the fucking RV? That's my shit. That's my shit. You should take part of it, right? That's my shit. So I picked every bag of ice out of the cooler, put them into the things.
Starting point is 00:25:03 All they had to do after they were put into the coolers was just take one of the coolers. Matter of fact, oh, I'm sorry. You did not take a single bag of ice for the camp.
Starting point is 00:25:11 We took all the bags of ice and put them in RVs. You did nothing. You did nothing. The green one. No, the green one. No, because we didn't use any of that.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Wait, is this why we had to buy ice when we came? Because you gave it all to them. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I'm not. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:25:27 There's a whole list. The text we got from Barbara was, Andrew wants these supplies. Nobody else, just Andrew. It was bologna. It was bread. It was water. That one created a list. It was ice.
Starting point is 00:25:39 No, no. Ice in a cooler lasts at most four days. Okay. So it doesn't matter. If you guys wanted ice in your drinks, which I assumed you would, you want to bring in ice. Yeah. It's not just for days. Okay. So it doesn't matter. If you guys wanted ice in your drinks, which I assumed you would, you want to bring in ice.
Starting point is 00:25:47 It's not just for us. Okay. I was curious. Ice melted away after like three days because it was so fucking hot. Yeah. So look,
Starting point is 00:25:53 but here's the thing. We had our coolers that we were going to give. Our RV kind of lasted the whole week. No, no. Not only that, because you were getting
Starting point is 00:26:01 all your drinks from us and we were constantly opening ours and we were making drinks for everybody Our hours and using our guys. Once do we hang out in your fucking RV selfish? Like shit didn't tell you that trick In your RV, yeah, that's good. Yeah, so We have a little trick to Oh, by the way, I only took shits in your RV. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. So, look. That's good.
Starting point is 00:26:28 We have a little trick tune, but it's fine. So, let's go. I love all that shit. I was unaware of all of this. I had no idea what was happening. Listen, listen, listen. Also, Al is the joker. Like, the morning mayhem and everybody's shitting on each other. He gets so giddy.
Starting point is 00:26:42 It's so funny. It's so funny. Let me say the next thing, we move on. So, you did absolutely nothing? I can't let it go. It's fucking destroying his content. It really is. It really is. You're so guilt ridden.
Starting point is 00:26:55 No, because this week... Okay. I just got to get it out. Please, please, please, please. He became vulnerable. When have you ever seen this man vulnerable in your life? Yes, let's go. Ready? So, for literally a week in Burning Man.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Oh, my God. We got the ice. The reason those two shifts were open is because they're the least desired shifts. Nobody wants the first ice shift. Everybody's getting there at fucking 6 in the morning. Last thing they want to do is wake up and then go get the ice. I signed up for the ice shifts. Because that's all that was left.
Starting point is 00:27:27 No, no, no. Because I knew I could get around the system. Well, you and Ben. I could buy ice on the way in. But nobody else thought about that. And then let me tell you this. When we arrived, literally the first thing that Amir says to me,
Starting point is 00:27:40 he goes, oh, things have been kind of tough, but we didn't even get ice. I go, you didn't get what? He says to me, he goes, oh, things have been kind of tough, but we didn't even get ice. I go, you didn't get what?
Starting point is 00:27:48 I was like, what, what, what? You were also sneaky when you signed up there because you said, because he said, oh, I'm going to sign up, but I'm also going to use Ben's truck. We can both do it. And I said, and I said, because exactly, so I said, Ben, do you want to do the ice shift with me?
Starting point is 00:27:59 Then I found out that we can get the ice from the Walmart and then Ben got the benefit. I let Ben stay on board. So the first thing he did at Burning Man was game the system. The first thing he does at Burning Man is game the system. I game the system before.
Starting point is 00:28:14 If you understand Burning Man. The bylaws, yeah, yeah, yeah. The coolest thing about, the funniest thing about Burning Man, in my opinion, is how communal and how loving it is. And then on the way out, it becomes vicious. Vicious.
Starting point is 00:28:29 People are cutting each other off. Jumping in front of each other. Weeks of not being able to fuck someone over. And then they all take it out on you immediately. And the same on the way in. There was ice in the thing left. I could have left it for somebody else, but I needed it. Why didn't they get here early?
Starting point is 00:28:44 Why didn't they think about it like Dove? They did it. You were stuck with a tree. Oh, that's right. You weren't. You did nothing. It was so hot. You just talk.
Starting point is 00:28:56 You just talk. Anyway, but you did give me a Modelo like three times, and that meant a lot that you actually got to a place where you could help someone. You know what I said? The funniest shit was about Dove. The only thing he cared about when we got there is like,
Starting point is 00:29:09 Vala, please tell me you got the tortillas. The corn tortillas. Please, tell me you got it because I can't find them anywhere.
Starting point is 00:29:17 How much were they? And I made people tortillas. I made them quesadillas. Yes or no? Al, did I make you quesadillas? You did make me a quesadilla, Dove.
Starting point is 00:29:23 Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. You're welcome. 28. 22. Hey, bro! This guy, bro. This guy's awesome. Oh my god, you made someone. Did you? You did that?
Starting point is 00:29:38 You did that after. A real Gandhi. That's amazing. Hey, Dove provides, bro. Why do the RVs smell like shit? does. Why did the RV smell like shit? Say again? Why did it smell like shit? That was Dove's way of keeping Al out of the back room. Oh.
Starting point is 00:29:51 He turned the propane on for a little bit, and then like, ooh, what's that smell? It smelled awful. A gas leak? Yeah. That was your strategy? An explosion? What's wrong with you?
Starting point is 00:30:00 He's an animal. I'm not sure if that happened. You're the only person that took a shit in our RV. Ooh. You swore you would? And how many showers did you take, Dub? One every day. So it was one day you took two.
Starting point is 00:30:13 Stop it. It was one day you took two. And it was supposed to be one every other day. No, but I took him in the camp as well. Oh my God! This guy. You're taking them to the camps water and your own water? And I'm doing it again.
Starting point is 00:30:27 They need me fresh to give my spirit. He's like a Scooby Doo villager. Unbelievable. He takes two showers total in a week without Burning Man. What? Bro. What did I say before we went? What do I need?
Starting point is 00:30:43 AC, showers, e-bikes. Andrew was like, you really don't need regular bikes. We've done it before. It's fine. It's nice to have. What was the best part about that? Fuck those bikes. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Fuck those bikes for real, for real. Hold on, hold on. I was adamant about e-bikes. Yeah, I remember that. That was my idea. Say it first. Say it right now, Vala. You're an honest guy.
Starting point is 00:31:03 You're an honest guy. He literally needed Ben Uye to get the e-bike. After I said, we need e-bikes. He literally was up my ass about, hey, you got to find the e-bikes. I was like, all right, cool. You're making this up. It's a lie. Once again, you've provided nothing.
Starting point is 00:31:17 You know it's true. He's a leech. A succubus. Let's go to happy time. Screaming the desert. Jump into the happy. That's where you are, cactus. Sucking the desert of all its water.
Starting point is 00:31:31 And then retaining it for myself. And you don't even provide shade. Oh, my God. You don't even provide shade. It's a useless tree. Wow, dude. I didn't realize how awful you are. I got really excited by the Modelo, and I thought he'd change.
Starting point is 00:31:44 You know that I insisted on the e-bike. No, you didn't. Andrew, I love you. Burning Man 2022. Tell the truth. Everything's branded. Every I love you is branded. This is a promotion.
Starting point is 00:31:59 I'll be honest. Everybody seemed the exact same after Burning Man. I don't know. I think it was a little worse. I think it was a little bit worse. Because we left all our good there. Yeah, it's there. I mean, it was so fucking good, man.
Starting point is 00:32:10 Oh, man. I've been happy as shit, bro. I start smiling at random strangers now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never tried that before. It's nice. Yeah, the reception is amazing. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Yeah, like, you're taught in New York. You got to have your, you know, gotta have your you know yeah Mark said this earlier it feels like New Yorkers are really more taken by Burning Man because you're not used to people being hospitable at all
Starting point is 00:32:31 yeah did you feel like it was transformative no I mean it's like a great exercise and like it's an immersion in all your insecurities
Starting point is 00:32:39 like that's what it feels like like anything that you want to practice you can do it for a week you're like yo I'm insecure about my body I'm gonna go and like a week. You're like, yo, I'm insecure about my body. I'm going to go and, like, feel how it is to show my body. If I'm insecure about talking to strangers or smiling to people, I'm going to do that.
Starting point is 00:32:51 And then after you practice for a week and then you get into real life, you're like, oh, I've been doing this. Like, I don't feel uncomfortable, like, doing that thing that I was insecure about. And so it's like a good, like, test zone to try things out in the real world. That's exactly what I did. I mean, that's a brilliant way of looking at it. But, like, also, you're on 100 there. Like I went from, I went from there
Starting point is 00:33:08 to this family party, my mother-in-law's birthday and like I found myself like people I didn't even know kind of like rubbing their shoulders a bit. Because like in Burning Man, like every person you meet,
Starting point is 00:33:20 you hug and like, you fucking hug. Yeah. Oh, a deep breath hug. Deep breath, like you're so tactile with everybody. You everybody like squeezing constantly and I like did it to a few people and they were like like Businessmen and shit and then I was like I guess I dabbing people up Afraid my Uber driver with a fucking spritzer
Starting point is 00:33:43 I can cool you down But yeah, I missed the beginning part I want to hear your whole journey because first you show up with monkey pops let's talk about this so Mark had monkey pops not monkey
Starting point is 00:33:58 we're talking about what we understood so Mark is super excited to go he's so fucking excited. Yeah. All of a sudden, I get a phone call. I believe it's the day of. Three hours before we're going to fly. Three hours we're about to fly to Las Vegas.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Yeah. Because we were going to do one night in Las Vegas, put it together, have fun. Then we do the drive out. So everybody's well rested for the driving we're going to share. Yeah. for the driving we're going to share. Yeah. So, so, so, so, so, so I get the call from Mark, and he's in his sad voice.
Starting point is 00:34:32 I'm like, did he crash my bike or something? And he goes, Drew, whenever Mark's sad, he goes, Drew, oh, man, dude, I don't think I can go, man. I'm a little sick. You know, like I had a little bit of a fever. My fever broke. But, you know, I don't know if I don't feel that great. And, you know, and then he says this.
Starting point is 00:34:52 He goes, you know how every time I get sick, I get like these hives and shit. So, like, I just don't know exactly. This is called foreshadowing. I go, what? This is actually a good literary technique. And he says it, and I'm like, that's weird. Like, one, Mark never knows that. Everyone knows that. Yeah. His guy says he never gets sick. like, that's weird. I've never heard that. Everyone knows that.
Starting point is 00:35:05 His guy says he never gets sick. Dude, never seen a heart. Had karma twice, didn't admit it. So I'm like, god damn, what is that hive shit? It's so weird. I don't really think he's got hives. That's crazy, right? We up there use bullshit.
Starting point is 00:35:20 He's like, eyes, girl, I don't want him to go. So it's like, I don't want to do stuff like that. But then we knew how bad you wanted to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay? So I think that's last correspondence. Pretty much, yeah. Right?
Starting point is 00:35:30 That was it. Okay. Fast forward a few days. Okay? I have one text because I go get cell service with Ben Uyeda's brother, and I'm messaging with Ben Uyeda's brother through somebody's phone, Vala's phone or something like that. I'm not exactly sure.
Starting point is 00:35:45 And Bobby made it seem like you didn't want to go. And I'm like, that's weird. Well, he was trying to like send me car passes and stuff. He was like, yo, can I mail stuff to you? And I was like, I don't want to get it just in case I can't go. And then he screwed. So he's interpreting that like you're kind of on the fence. Yeah. I was like, dude, I'm not sure if I can make it Tuesday, maybe Thursday, but I'm 50-50. I don't know. So I'm like, this is kind of odd. Like, what the fuck? Like, Mark was so excited for the experience.
Starting point is 00:36:06 And I'm like, was he just doing it because he knows how much I love it? And he didn't want to kind of let me down. I was like, so confused, right? So then we're sitting in the RV. And Mark walks in. And he looks like a pepperoni piece. And he's coming in with all the positive energy. Think he could out-positive the fucking monkey pox?
Starting point is 00:36:29 Yes. What's up, guys? We're here. Here's my gift for the playa. He comes out like fucking Bill Nye, dude. And he's pocked up. The face is pocked up. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on here?
Starting point is 00:36:44 Just so you know, this was nothing. Compared to. Nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when did you say exactly what happened? As soon as I walked in. You said, I have what? I said, I have what I have.
Starting point is 00:36:55 I have varicella. I have chicken pox. So you got chicken pox. What do you mean, what? You didn't know that? When you go to school with all your family at home, you never get chicken pox. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay?
Starting point is 00:37:07 It's a quarantine in there. Yeah. And he's that real white. They not vaccinated, not vaccinated. Bro, I called my mom about that shit. I was like, what is this? I didn't know you were being serious about all that. I thought this was a stunt.
Starting point is 00:37:20 But no, in France, they didn't vaccinate for it at all. In Europe, they don't do the chicken pox. He's putting it on Europe. I know, right? He won't put it on socialism. He won't put it on socialism. We saved you't vaccinate for it all in Europe. They don't do the chicken Malarian shit. I've never been sick on Tuesday. I get a little fever. I'm gonna kill you I get a little fever. I'm feeling bad. Yo, malaria can kill you right now. No, that's not true. He can die right now.
Starting point is 00:37:46 I dare malaria to walk in here. I'll fuck you up. The day we flew out to Vegas, I was with him that day, and he never told me. I called you. I called you and said I was a little sick. Hey, hey, hey. Now you know the vaccine works.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Now you know the vaccine works. Now you know the vaccine works. Yeah, exactly. I assumed you got it as a kid or something. I don't know. So say what you said to me about when you were reflecting on getting chicken pox when you thought it was monkey pox originally. I didn't ever think it was fully monkey pox. Okay, look. Yo, stop capping.
Starting point is 00:38:17 This is what happened. He blamed it. He blamed it on the fucking costume shop we were at. It was a costume shop. He goes, he goes, he goes. It was a costume shop. These gays trying on all this clothing. There was a few. It was a costume shop. It was a costume shop. These gays trying on all this clothing. There was a few.
Starting point is 00:38:28 There was a few. Maybe bi. There was a, I think a bi guy. That's true. You got the blouses for Burning Man. I get some fucking
Starting point is 00:38:35 monkey pox blouse. I'm the most open-minded guy, but as soon as you get monkey pox, you're fucking homophobic and have it, okay? I know I shouldn't have put on the tights. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:38:44 It was literally tuesday i got a fever and i'm like oh god okay i have a fever but then i just got triggered by that i thought it was a white claw i just got so excited black cherry y'all are we drinking it oh i thought like okay i'm just gonna be like a 24-hour flu thing i'll be good yeah wednesday rolls around still kind of sick i'm like all, this isn't good. No coughing or sneezing. My girl's a nurse. She goes, okay, this is weird. You have a fever. You have a headache. You don't look good, but you're not coughing or sneezing. You have a virus, and the virus needs to spread, and I don't see how it's spreading. And I was like, okay, that's a good point. So she's like, this is kind of weird. Just
Starting point is 00:39:19 stay home. Like, don't, you know, just chill. Friday, I start feeling better, and then all of a sudden, I get a little pimple yeah and then another one like right here yeah and she's like yeah Mark those are like that's like a sore like a
Starting point is 00:39:30 oh shit you have like a boil or like a something's wrong leprosy and I was pissed off and I was like you're trying to take this away from me
Starting point is 00:39:38 you don't want me to go you want me to be I was angry I thought you were trying to take away my experience I was like no this is he pulled up his shirt.
Starting point is 00:39:45 He looked like the crab feeder from Game of Thrones. It was crazy. Keep going. I went to the doctor on Friday. I was like, fine. I'm going to go, and I'm just going to go tell them what's up. They're going to say I'm fine, and then I'm going to go get on that flight. I'll be good.
Starting point is 00:40:00 So I show up. I go to the doctor. I'm with my girl. My girl's in the doctor's room with me she walks in and she goes okay so what's the problem I was like look
Starting point is 00:40:07 I have like a pimple here I had a fever no cough or anything and like another one right here yeah I don't know what it is and she goes oh interesting walks out of the room
Starting point is 00:40:15 and her and like three other doctors walk in full hazmat shoes I was like what is this what's happening and they're like
Starting point is 00:40:24 yeah you know it's just a precautionary thing you know just want to be you know careful and I was like it's not this? What's happening? And they're like, yeah, you know, it's just a precautionary thing. You know, just want to be, you know, careful. And I was like, it's not monkey pox. And they're like, no, no, no, we don't think it is. You know, it's not. It's not. But are you having sex?
Starting point is 00:40:35 I was like, well, this is my wife reading this. You know, yeah, I don't want to brag. The wife stepped out the room like, what are you having sex? Literally, the doctor does that shit. He looks at me. He's like, no room and was like, what are you having? What's the point? Literally, the doctor does that shit. He looks at me and he's like, nah, but for real though, what's going on? And I was like,
Starting point is 00:40:48 no, it's just, you know, just my wife and my only partner. And he like, pressed us one more time. But he's basically just looking at me
Starting point is 00:40:54 in front of my girl being like, yo, are you gay? And I have to be like, no, like if I'm going to cheat, it's not going to be with the dude. Like I promise.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Like I'm not gay. And then he was like, well, we're just going to check if you're gay. And then they do a swab on the he was like, well, we're just going to check if you're gay. And then they do a swab on the thing, and they're like, we're just going to double check if you're gay, and it'll come up and tell us if you're gay or not. And then they walk out of the room, and they test for only that.
Starting point is 00:41:15 And I was like, okay, that's kind of weird. And then Alicia, my wife, is like adamant. She's like, no, no, no, we think it's chickenpox. It's definitely not monkeypox or whatever. Makes them do a culture for that. She's in denial. Yeah, I know. She's like, because this is more on her chickenpox. It's definitely, it's not monkeypox or whatever. Makes them do a culture for that. She's in denial. Yeah, I know. She's like, because this is more on her than me.
Starting point is 00:41:28 You know what I mean? I'm just exploring myself. Like, this is her choice. And so they test for both, and they're like, okay, yeah, we're just going to go. We're going to check it out. And I was literally like, have you ever seen chickenpox, like, in an adult?
Starting point is 00:41:40 And they were like, no, never in my life. Never seen it. I was like, oh, okay, great. So they walk out of the room. They're like yeah just rest up you know go home that's whatever and so i'm laying there i'm like okay 90 chance of chicken pox right but there's 10 of my fucking head where i'm like did i black out one night i like make out like is there a chance and like i was like i swear to god i'm lying to myself like, I don't know, like, maybe I got roofied and I don't even remember it. Like, I went out, like, three nights before.
Starting point is 00:42:09 I don't know. I'm, like, going through it in my mind. Like, yo, did I hook up with a dude? And, uh. What? I don't know. I'm trying to see if it's fucking monkey box. He was, like, preparing for bird and man.
Starting point is 00:42:19 Oh, yeah. And then I have my whole story. I'm, like, okay, what if in the off chance, like, I got it from a guy on the subway, and, like, there's a particle that got in my mouth, and then I got monkeypox. What? I'm, like, I'm going through everything. Like, you know, like, when you have a pregnancy scare, like, when you're a fucking teenager, and you're like, well, yeah, there was a game, maybe something slipped out.
Starting point is 00:42:35 No, you don't know, and I don't know either. Be honest about what's happening. I don't know. Not a lot of us know. There was some, like, semen on my finger, and maybe, I don't know. I don't know there was some like semen on my finger and maybe I don't know
Starting point is 00:42:47 I don't know so you start doomsday thinking so I was like okay maybe I got it from some crazy shit I don't know and then I'm preparing
Starting point is 00:42:55 for this where I'm like okay how am I if it's monkey pox what is my approach to this how are you gonna make the thumbnail
Starting point is 00:43:03 is that what you're thinking like yo can we add some more pox that'd be way better but I'm like trying to think What is my approach to this? How are you going to make the thumbnail? Is that what you're thinking? Can we add some more pox? That would be way better. But I'm trying to think, and literally I have a pact with my girls. If it's monkey pox,
Starting point is 00:43:14 we're never talking about this ever again. If it's monkey pox, we know what it is, and I'm never telling a soul that it's monkey pox. Let me let you know something, Mike. If you ever don't show up for two weeks, you either have AIDS or monkeypox. I'd rather have AIDS, I think. I'll be honest.
Starting point is 00:43:29 Wait, really? Yeah, Magic Johnson has AIDS, okay? Like, at least it's a cosine, you know what I mean? No one has monkeypox as respected. Yeah, I guess. So I'm like, okay, I can't risk it. There's no celebrity. Who's the face of monkeypox?
Starting point is 00:43:41 You know what I mean? You about to be. I am the face of monkeypox. But no, I was like You're about to be. I am the face of monkeypox. But no, I was like, okay, I'm just not going to tell anyone. I'm going to just die with it. And then I'll go on a trip. I'll say someone died. I'll say there's an issue.
Starting point is 00:43:53 Jesus, bro. I'll do anything to not have monkeypox publicly. This is hilarious. Not publicly. With your best friend. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But it's yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:04 So literally, I'm like, all right. The public can know. They don't. But I'm like, I'll just die with it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But it's, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So literally, I'm like, all right. The public can know. They don't. But I'm like, I'll just die with it, whatever. And then I got the, like, call back on Monday.
Starting point is 00:44:12 They're like, yeah, it's Chicken Pox. And then, like, I finally, the shit went down, like, scabbed over, and I was like, all right, I'm good to go.
Starting point is 00:44:17 Thursday. And then Bobby, he literally was like, yo, I'm going to pick you up in Reno. We'll be there. You, me, Akash, Bobby. It'll be perfect.
Starting point is 00:44:25 And then he doesn't show up. And then it, me, Akash, Bobby. It'll be perfect. And then he doesn't show up. And then it's me, Akash, and then your friend Chris from college. Got a ticket 24 hours before. We all drive in. Roll around in some sand. It was great. No, no. That's not exactly how it went down.
Starting point is 00:44:39 That's the end of the story. Chris picked you guys up and then didn't stop talking for the next eight hours straight. Son, the craziest shit, we sit in the car, he takes out his phone, starts, presses record, and he goes, all right, we're doing a podcast.
Starting point is 00:44:51 And then just puts the phone on my armrest, and we're just like, what? Bro, it was one point, and I'm still recovering. I had a rough recovery day. You have an IV drip. I had an IV drip.
Starting point is 00:45:03 He got hooked up to a fucking IV yeah yeah yeah shout out to our camp our camp was so fucking amazing and they had a bunch of like doctors and nurses there and they were
Starting point is 00:45:11 supplying the IV drips and I don't know if they wanted to say the name of it no I don't think they wanted to say the name yeah they didn't yeah
Starting point is 00:45:18 just say shout out to Ace and them okay yeah shout out to Ace and them best camp it was unbelievable and which I'm sure
Starting point is 00:45:24 we'll tell more stories about. But anyway, so I'm like having the fucking worst day ever. And I just have no patience for anything else. I'm super excited for you guys to come because you're going to lift me up. And the first person comes through the door is Chris. And Chris, I'm like, what the fuck? And I literally, I was like, Chris, why are you here? That was my, the first thing I said.
Starting point is 00:45:45 Not like I'm excited. And he does not stop talking. This is how much he was talking, okay? Then we ate his girlfriend, Alex. At one point, and Alex is the sweetest girl. At one point, just walks by and goes, wow, Chris, you're a chatty one. Holy shit, bro. that's a nice girl for shut the fuck up
Starting point is 00:46:09 it was non fucking stop dude ugh anyway the women in Ben's lives just do not fuck around with your sister too yeah Jesse don't give a fuck
Starting point is 00:46:18 but yeah we may have to cut this but did you hear about that he almost died who Chris no what happened you didn't hear about this you didn't hear about this I didn't hear about this wait did you say about that he almost died? Who? Chris? No, what happened? Oh, you didn't. You didn't hear about this?
Starting point is 00:46:25 You didn't hear about this? I didn't hear about this. Wait a minute, you're saying there's some good news? Wait, what happened? We'll probably have to cut this, but... That's what happened. Bro, hold on. No, we're not cutting it.
Starting point is 00:46:37 Oh, it's an inconvenience? This is the night that you left and everyone's out. We're just sitting in the RV it's me, Jameel, Dove and Chris and he's hanging out there he's just like we're all talking
Starting point is 00:46:50 and he's like yo you guys want some blow? and everyone's like nah we're good and Jameel specifically is like nah I don't do other people's blow
Starting point is 00:46:58 I can't fuck with that and he's like nah nah it's good it's been in my safe for like two years this stuff is good literally what he said that's exactly what he would say yeah. It's been in my safe for like two years. Like, this stuff is good. Literally what he said. That's exactly what he would say.
Starting point is 00:47:06 He was like, yeah, bro, it's just in my safe. Like, you know, this shit's clean, bro. It's good. And he had just gotten back maybe an hour before after just a complete all-night fucking adventure and just starts. And Jameel's like, nah, the fucking fentanyl can't mess with it. He goes, ah, see yourself.
Starting point is 00:47:21 Does maybe like eight bumps. Dude, crazy, right? He's a wild-ass boy. Rips eight of them in a row. And then like eight bumps. Dude, crazy, right? He's a wild ass boy. Rips eight of them in a row. And then he's just like chatting, talking. Like he sounds kind of weird. Like he's talking. Like he's having a hard time finding his words.
Starting point is 00:47:34 Yeah, like asking a question. That's weird. Stories are connecting. This guy must be high. And so we're all just talking. And then literally he walks kind of towards the back. And then he's just standing there, just hands on his knees, just going. And then literally he walks kind of towards the back,
Starting point is 00:47:44 and then he's just standing there, just hands on his knees, just going. And I walk up to him, and I go, yo, Chris, are you good, man? And he's like, yeah, I just feel really dizzy. And then he just kind of goes, and he sort of like sits like really hard like on the bed, like on that little couch thing. Eyes roll back in his head. No, no, no, no. Smacks his head against the back of like on that little couch thing, eyes roll back in his head. No, no, no, no. Smacks his head against the back of the mirror thing. Falls to the ground, head like smacks the ground.
Starting point is 00:48:12 Now on the floor, not on the couch. Just a question, just a question. Did you enjoy the silence for a minute? Did you just take in the silence? Before you helped him, did you just take five seconds of him shutting the fuck up? What do you mean it helped him? You just hear Alec cracking open a microwave
Starting point is 00:48:35 Put your feet on his belly like this Hey guys what's the plan bud? Literally falls over and I go yo guys Chris has died Like he's just on the ground just like fully limp. Jamil goes, oh shit, runs over,
Starting point is 00:48:47 tries to grab him. Dove sits there. I'm one foot out. I was like, I don't want to be on the dead guy bus. Dove's just... You're so wrong.
Starting point is 00:48:56 You are. He's crazy. It wasn't my bus. It's Chris. It's Chris. He says it wasn't my bus. It wasn't my... Anyway. It didn't see things in him at all. It was Chris. He said it wasn't my bus. It wasn't my... Anyway, it didn't see things in at all.
Starting point is 00:49:08 It's not it. And this is a testament to how sick the camp was. I literally just run out of the door. I'm like, dumb Jamil, I'm not going to fix him. So I just run out the door, and I just literally walk up to him there, and I go, yo, can you tell me a medical person? I need some type of medical person. He literally goes, I got you.
Starting point is 00:49:23 Runs over, finds two people. One's a pharmacist. One's an ER doctor. They happen to be married. They run over, jump on the bus and just start like assessing him. And by the time they get there,
Starting point is 00:49:32 he's like kind of coming to. He's like waking up, kind of dizzy. And they just like chilled him for an hour and they're like, hey, are you good? And they're like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:38 And the ER doctor keeps talking to him and then talking to me like I'm his dad. So he was like, what'd you have tonight? And he was like, oh, a little bit of Coke. I drank a little bit.
Starting point is 00:49:47 He goes, okay. And then he looks at me and he goes, I go, yeah. And that happened for like 20 minutes. And then he talks to Chris and he walks over to me and he's like, yeah, yeah, no more blow for tonight. Just, you know, keep an eye on him. Just make sure he's okay. Lots of fluids.
Starting point is 00:49:59 Just keep him, you know, just chilling. And I was like, got it. And then he leaves and Chris just like pops up. He's like, you guys want to do some more blow? That's insane. No. We had to tell him like,
Starting point is 00:50:12 yo, if we're going out, if you're going to come out, like Trump's nothing. Nothing's going on your body. No drinking, nothing. So we get ready. And then he pops out, gold shirt,
Starting point is 00:50:21 some bell bottoms and a silver orb. And had the most amazing energy I've ever seen in my life. He looked, he literally, I was like, and a silver orb. And had the most amazing energy I've ever seen in my life. He literally I was like, dude, did you take it? You look amazing. He's like, I have a new lease on life. I was like, literally what he said he's like, I have to see a picture of this.
Starting point is 00:50:36 We literally thought, we were like, but you're picking this like silver like ornament. Like this orb. I was like, where'd you get that? It's like when I was buying my Burning Man stuff, it just, I saw it and it just spoke to me I was like the orb was sick the orb was fire but not great
Starting point is 00:50:48 after what had happened imagine like a completely metallic sphere and it's about the size of a basketball maybe a little smaller right I haven't seen it
Starting point is 00:50:55 oh that's right you were maybe like what's he gonna do with it but the perfect thing for being around people at the burn but he was doing this thing where he was just taking it
Starting point is 00:51:02 he was like going up to people and he was like hey so this is a thing I built there's a camera inside. And if you hold it up, you can actually take like a fisheye selfie. And he was just doing selfies
Starting point is 00:51:10 with everyone. They were all like, you're like, where can I find him? He's like, I'll text you. And they're like, sick. And then he would just like float off in the night.
Starting point is 00:51:16 What's crazy is a friend who didn't know him posted his Burning Man slideshow. Yeah. And he has a selfie with the orb with Chris in it. And I write to him.
Starting point is 00:51:24 I was like, do you know that guy? Do you know Chris? He's like, no, I just saw him at Robot Heart and I thought it was great. I hate how likable he's coming across right now. Because he's truly one of the most annoying human beings on the planet. He's so sweet, though. My heart sunk when he walked in the door.
Starting point is 00:51:38 I was like, Bobby, you replaced Bobby with Chris. No, I know, I was like, I'm expecting my boy Bobby, you replaced Bobby with Chris. No, I know. I was like, I'm expecting my boy Bobby. And then Chris walks in on his knuckles, dude. And I'm like, no. It was his Burning Man energy just like this. At one point, I had to tell him, shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:51:59 Yeah. When we first got there, for whatever reason, on his RV, there was a loud noise. There's like three people on the bus. Oh, my God. And Chris was one of them. You hear this loud pop. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:08 And then the first thing Andrew says is, what the fuck did you do, Chris? Chris, Chris, he starts to answer. Chris, get off the fucking RV. Literally walks onto the bus. Our propane tank explodes. The neighbors come over. No one smoked. Crater next to us, this wide,
Starting point is 00:52:26 this deep. Crater right next to the side, blowing into the camp right next to us. Smoke everywhere. Oh, wow. Super fucked up because Chris walked on the bus. Three seconds. Three seconds. That's wild.
Starting point is 00:52:41 It was just, literally the first thing I texted Bobby, Bobby sent some texts, like, you know, Bobby brought me to the burn, so like, and this is a place really important to him, Bobby sent these texts,
Starting point is 00:52:51 he's like, guys, it's not in the cards this year, I couldn't be more sad. He said, I've never been more sad in my life. I've never been more sad in my life. What a nice life you had. And I messaged him,
Starting point is 00:52:59 I go, What a fucking, that was my first thought, what is your fucking life? He said, I haven't been this sad in the longest, or something like that. And my message was, I go, what a fucking, that's how my first thought is, what is your fucking life? He said, I haven't been this sad in the longest or something like that. And my message was to him, I go, you deserve everything you feel. Every feel is sad. I'll never forgive you for this.
Starting point is 00:53:16 I'll never forgive you for this. You're crazy, bro. But he described the tension. His intention was saving the day and getting these two guys a ride in. And that was. But they already had a pass. But he described the tension. His intention was saving the day and getting these two guys a ride in. And that was... But they already had a pass. They were ready to go.
Starting point is 00:53:29 You guys could have made it. We didn't have a vehicle pass. We'd have to take the bus. We could have rented a car. Yeah, we brought... We had a vehicle pass, a will call. There was a lot of things we could have done here. Getting there is the easiest thing.
Starting point is 00:53:39 Yeah. Just follow me for sure. We could have hit the ride. Don't give me that. You don't even have to drive. Take a Tesla. Don't even have to drive to Bern. End up on sleep. It's a beautiful time.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Bro, take a nap. The second half of that was wonderful. I was just laying down. That was nice. He didn't nap though. He was there right next to me, talking to me the whole time. Thank you. Well, most of the time.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Most of the time. Most of the time. After he took the Adderall? I didn't take the Adderall until we were in the thing. I didn't take the Adderall until we were on the thing. I saw you take... I just had enough of Dove. Yo.
Starting point is 00:54:21 I had to mediate. Remember the beef between you guys in the brisket shop? We were already good by then. No, you weren't. We were good by then. No, you weren't. He had transferred his anger to me. You're not going to survive this.
Starting point is 00:54:33 He's upset at me because I shared the text with Paula. Oh, my gosh. He goes, how could you share my personal messages? How could you survive? If I go out to an unhappy parent and I talk to their kids about the other, it's just so fucking uncomfortable. That was the easiest shit ever. What?
Starting point is 00:54:49 Burning man. Surviving in that fucking 24-7 RV and showers and... Yeah, because we were with an unbelievable camp. Give some credit to the camp. Not you, you fucking idiot. He thinks it's him that made it easier? It wasn't you.
Starting point is 00:55:03 It was the camp, dumbass. It was great. Yeah, they're providing meals every single day. Showers, bathrooms. Good, you said thank you. Shocking. You were able to squeeze that out. Did you guys go to the mushroom party?
Starting point is 00:55:16 Yeah. Oh, how was that? How was that? It was fun. It was cool. It was like packed. There were so many people. That's their big thing.
Starting point is 00:55:22 It was jammed. Did you have the tea? A little. I didn't want to mess with that. Okay, what drugs? Let's talk about what drugs we did. I did coke, and that shit is phenomenal. I get Chris.
Starting point is 00:55:36 That shit was fucking... I've never done coke. You gave me a bump? No, no, Jameel. No, no, it was Al. It was Al. Sure. I was right next to you. It was Jameel's coke. It was Jameel. No, no, it was Al. It was Al. Sure. I was right next to you.
Starting point is 00:55:46 It was Jameel's Coke. It was Jameel's Coke. Okay, okay. Because I had a few. I had three bumps. Yeah, yeah. And, but the next day was fucking. Brutal.
Starting point is 00:55:55 It was like every bit of motivation was sapped from me. Like I couldn't even like untie a sneaker. It was so, and I was like, ah, this is not worth it. But in the moment, cocaine does exactly, what I'm saying right now, I'm going to sound like a fucking 13 year old, but it does exactly
Starting point is 00:56:08 what you want to do for a party. I get why it's the most popular party drug. It gives you energy, excitement, and confidence in an instant. Like,
Starting point is 00:56:17 this party's good. Let's keep it going. I get why it's so successful. I get why the Colombians are fucking billionaires off of it. Every bit of it makes sense. Like, they deserve every dollar.
Starting point is 00:56:30 What are they? Not Castro. What's the guy's name? Escobar. You deserve it all. I understand why the CIA was like, let's not shut him down. Let's work with him. Because it's great.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Let's funnel this into the city. Yes! Yes! Yes! And then Black people fucked it up by cooking it. Do you have to fry everything? It was great before. It was fucking great.
Starting point is 00:56:54 But the cost the next day, I was like, I'm done after that. And I knew the cost and I'm standing right next to him as he's getting it from out and he looks at me and he's like,
Starting point is 00:57:04 Vala, you gotta take one too. I'm doing it. I, and he looks at me, he's like, Vala, you got to take one too. I'm doing it. I was like, bro, I know what's going to happen tomorrow. Please don't make it. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. You're going to do it. I'm like, fuck, all right. And then the next day, I'm like, god damn it.
Starting point is 00:57:18 I'm absolutely destroyed. The next day, it's literally the lowest I've ever been. I have no energy. I have no motivation. And then Chris walks into my RV. You can't imagine anything worse than that moment
Starting point is 00:57:31 in my life. But yeah, it was a great drug. I like ketamine. That was the first time I did ketamine. And I think for that music and that vibe, it was fucking perfect. The name is too intense for what it is. Dude, I felt a little relaxed, but not much after that.
Starting point is 00:57:51 Did you ever do it just on its own? Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. I always had alcohol in my system or something. Yeah, until I did it just on my own to feel, oh, it just kind of makes you a little melty and floaty, and you don't do a tiny bit, and then it'll do something. And no real hangover. You also didn't do that much. But I did a few of the snorts from the—
Starting point is 00:58:10 No, you got to—if you had done the bumps like the rest of us did, you'd be floating. I would have felt it. You'd be floating. And also, you had Adderall all the time. And the Adderall spot. Adderall counters everything. I stopped doing Adderall because it just ruined everything. It keeps you up.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Yeah. And that's what the hard—what's up? What's up, Cassetta? We can keep going? Yeah, I don't know. I just like the Adderall and the alcohol. I have the energy. I already have, I think, good vibes.
Starting point is 00:58:36 I like to get after it. I like to have some fun. And then the alcohol makes everything smooth. Everything's easy. We want to talk to people. We want to have a good time. And, yeah, so that combination is great. The one problem
Starting point is 00:58:47 is that you stay up so late, so you're drinking more, so you're paying for it the next day. So I do understand a drug where it kind of replaces the drinking. Because I think the drinking is what you pay for, right? That was the worst. That's what you pay for. Okay. So that's on me then. But it's fun
Starting point is 00:59:03 when you pop a fucking bottle of champagne on the sunrise. Sunrise set. We just have a bottle of tequila passing around and just having little sips for hours and hours. Oh, that was one of the best ideas. I don't know whose it was. And it might have been Chris' thing. But it was, we had like a bag that we could put like a flexible cooler. Right?
Starting point is 00:59:21 And we just had ice and we had a bottle of fucking tequila with a bottle of champagne what i told him before we left i was like yo should we just get like a a bag full of filler with ice and just take it on the way he's like no no you don't need that because i was being such a nazi inside walmart i didn't want to waste Do you know what I mean? He was a tyrant. He was like, God, he's on his ass. I was like, we gotta get out of here before it does this in his mind. I was like, can I get a few trinkets for my son?
Starting point is 00:59:49 He was like, here's no more trinkets. Pack the RPs and meet me at life. I bartered with an employee at Walmart when we were leaving for his neck air conditioner
Starting point is 01:00:00 because I didn't have time. You psycho. Okay, we had to get in. But yeah, the ketamine was, it was kind of like, I don't know, I didn't feel the mushrooms that much either. Mushrooms, I didn't. Yeah, I never felt the mushrooms. I didn't feel that much mushrooms.
Starting point is 01:00:18 Then the molly, I did not like. Oh, yeah. I did not like our molly. That shit fucked us up. Yo, when Val and I did the molly, it completely, I didn't feel euphoria, and it completely, like, removed me socially. We're sitting in the corner of the tent, and we're just like, yo, what the fuck is going on right now? Bro, and then— Oh, yeah. The Tesla came out.
Starting point is 01:00:41 Tesla night. Now, let me tell you this. There's only one thing that could help from Chris walking into my burning man without noticing and Akash breaking his foot the second he got on a bike there's only and it being my lowest day ever there's only one thing that could change that and flip that around and a chemically engineered euphoria known as Tesla. An ecstasy pill branded. And it is, at one point, I'm being honest with you, at one point I grabbed Dove and I go,
Starting point is 01:01:16 I feel it in my calves. I hug Dove. I go, it's in my calves we all took a quarter of the pill right yeah I wish we had it
Starting point is 01:01:30 right now I wish we had it right now I would we gotta do a pod on that Tesla we can do one episode we have to do a pod
Starting point is 01:01:38 on that Tesla bro we're just gonna be sucking each other's dicks in there bro this fucking bark's gonna give us all monkey pox you want some monkey pox I don't have fucking bar is going to give us all monkey pox.
Starting point is 01:01:46 You want some monkey pox? I don't have it. I'll tell you I got some monkey pox. I don't have it. Son. Oh my. Did y'all not, was that not fucking
Starting point is 01:01:52 the best night? That's the best I felt. I was like, holy shit. What night did you take it? We took it the same night. No, you were gone by the time I got there.
Starting point is 01:02:00 Oh, that's right. You took it the night before. It was Wednesday night. Yeah, the night I lost my fucking phone on the playa. Oh, that's right. The night I lost my before. It was Wednesday night. Yeah, the night I lost my fucking phone on the playa. Oh, that's right. The night I lost my phone on the playa, it was the best night.
Starting point is 01:02:10 And then when I got back to the camp, I realized my phone was missing and everything just came crashing down. Whose ass was it? What dude did you fuck? You leave your phone inside of him. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:26 God have it.'t have it. Can't have it. Shit on my story, bro. You want to know the crazy thing? We're in the RV and we're like, how are we going to find this fucking phone? Can we do find my phone? Whatever. Like, how the hell are we going to do this?
Starting point is 01:02:38 And then all of a sudden, Hamed, who's in our camp, busts open the door. Incoherent. Probably hasn't slept for two days, and just went, hebe-de-hebe-de-hebe-de-hebe-de-hebe-de-hebe-de-hebe-de-hebe-de. Vala, I found your phone. Yo, I felt like the Oracle, son. So I was with Vala when he lost it. You were dressed like the Oracle.
Starting point is 01:02:59 I was with Vala when he lost it. I was like, yo, Vala, I'm telling you, you're going to get your phone back. And he had nothing on his phone to like for somebody to know it was his shit actually your name is on it yeah it has Vala on it
Starting point is 01:03:12 yeah but out of everybody who's there like that one person who finds it's gonna know it's his shit so I'm like yo Vala I'm telling you the player provides bro
Starting point is 01:03:19 you're gonna get your phone back I said it so confident when he got the phone back I was like I fucking told you. I told you, bro. I had a 50% chance of being right. No, not 50.
Starting point is 01:03:31 To be fair to Al, ain't no 50% chance of getting your phone back on the playa. Think of all the places you go, big ass playa. I'm just saying, of the things you could say,
Starting point is 01:03:38 it's either you don't get it back or you do. And then everybody says, nobody's like, man, that shit gone, bro. Nobody ever is like, hey, I'm still holding this side on. I'm telling you, dog.
Starting point is 01:03:48 Hey, you weren't looking. No, that guy don't exist. I was saying that. I was like, here you go. You think that's the one? But that's the most annoying part because everyone that found out I lost my phone,
Starting point is 01:03:59 they're like, bro, the playa provides. Yeah. I was like, yo, shut the fuck up. It does, bro. It does. It's a magical place. When people win the Super Bowl, bro the playa provides yeah I was like yo shut the fuck up it does bro it does it's a magical place
Starting point is 01:04:07 when people win the Super Bowl you gotta go to Birdman fuck Disney World yo fast bro that's where you go okay um my biggest fuck up
Starting point is 01:04:16 was smoking weed oh really yeah I did not enjoy that I didn't touch weed at all did not enjoy that at all but I had to do it to go to sleep
Starting point is 01:04:21 no edible to sleep was great no because I was at one of the shows I love dancing by the way I didn't really I always knew I loved dancing but like I danced for like eight hours just like it's over just having a great time yeah and then I'm standing there just not really paying attention and I'm like near the front it was like just an awesome like show and then I look over and I just see like some guy's elbow and then I look up and
Starting point is 01:04:42 it's Dwight Howard yeah And then he hands me a joint and I was like, I'm in the rotation. I'm not going to not take a joint from Dwight Howard. That's Superman, bro. We were at Casbah, which is one of these
Starting point is 01:04:55 parties that starts in the morning morning. Was that a Blondish party? No, no. DJ Blondish, by the way. Yeah, the fucking greatest DJ ever. We're going to talk about her. That was the best parties,
Starting point is 01:05:03 by the way, Casbah. But Casbah fucking crushed it. No, Casbah in general. They the way. Yeah, the fucking greatest DJ ever. We're going to talk about her. That was the best parties, by the way. Casbah. But Casbah fucking crushed it. No, Casbah in general. They killed it. Yeah. And it's just me and Mark. And this is like the last stop before you go home. It's probably 1030.
Starting point is 01:05:15 And, you know, Mark's from Orlando. And we go and we walk up. And then Mark sees Dwight Howard. And Mark is fucking high. And fucking tesla's still in the system everything and mark goes whoa dude that was my hero yo that shit is true though i just saw my hero dude that's superman that's superman when i was a kid i was dealing on the highway i'm like yo the fucking superman's right there like that was the guy i was at like game seven when he made like the game winning shot like all the way up in the nosebleeds to like win the fucking
Starting point is 01:05:53 eastern conference it was insane yeah and then he's just like chilling right there right there and then the next day he's passing and then i did it and then immediately like i'm dancing and then i'm just like so self-conscious yeah just like immediately anxious and like everyone's dancing it's like a big vibe and then like I kind of get like a little pocket of space and I'm like, oh man, like, do these people not like me or something? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:12 Oh man. At a rave with 20,000 people all dancing. Well, that's why, because I'm obviously in the trailer early, he comes up to me, he's like, hey man, can you like tell I'm high? And I'm like, everybody's high, Doug, except me. Why you you who cares
Starting point is 01:06:25 it's a fucking burn and he's like you know I just don't want to you know what I mean I don't want to look stupid I just don't want to look dumb
Starting point is 01:06:33 yeah exactly that's how it felt I was just like another thing I realized I don't like doing anything alone like the idea of even just drinking alone
Starting point is 01:06:40 anything that's not with other people it makes me so uncomfortable interesting anything so I'm like even just smoking and being alone even though i'm with all these other people i'm not with anyone else i know so i'm just like hanging out i'm like oh fuck like i smell or like i'm being weird and like people are freaked out or like i'm like
Starting point is 01:06:55 dancing too much after your high or like right after i smoked yeah yeah and that was the only thing i did i just smoked and i was just sitting there like all right how do you how are you like how would a cool guy dance? I'm like, they wouldn't do the robot. Why am I doing the robot right now? And then I'm like, don't think anything bad. And then I'm like, oh, I'm fucking, someone's probably died in my family. I'm like, why am I thinking about that?
Starting point is 01:07:15 Thoughts, I can't control them. They're all happening at once. And then it went away after an hour. That sucks. And then I have my camel pack. I'm like, I'm going to drink some water. I'm sure some water will help. Grab it. Take a big sip. Dust. Just pure dust.
Starting point is 01:07:29 It was just on the ground. The fucking nozzle was in the dirt. Just breathe it all in. Like, my tongue is burning. Imagine Cottonmouth plus also just inhaling fucking 9-11 ashes. Just like filling my lungs. Jesus Christ, bro. And then Dwight's like, sick, right?
Starting point is 01:07:43 I'm like, dude. Dude, it's so true, man. I had an experience like that. It was with mushrooms, but like where I was just in an insecure vacuum. Yeah. It was just one thing after another. This wasn't this time. This was, I think, my first time.
Starting point is 01:07:58 Maybe I went. Maybe it was the second time. But it can be brutal. And when you have your friends around, they can kind of like cover you a little bit. You know, there's some love. You know, there's some connection right there. But being like completely alone and that starts, yeah. Yeah, I stay away from the weed.
Starting point is 01:08:11 The edibles to pass out were clutch though. Yeah. You know, you just kind of need that like night, you know, light switch. I was going to sleep easy. Really? I had no single issue going to sleep. Really? Because Doug was generous enough to give you the room
Starting point is 01:08:25 with the most AC. Yeah. Okay. That last day just going alone was the most fun though. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought he would like that.
Starting point is 01:08:33 We all want to hear about that. What happened the last day. It was just dope. Like, I just would just bike around. I just didn't sleep and just biked to every little thing I could
Starting point is 01:08:41 and just talked to as many people as I could. And like, yeah, it was awesome. It was like, the biggest thing is just play. It's just like a bunch of adults. The other thing I thought and just talked to as many people as I could and like, yeah, it was awesome. It was like, the biggest thing is just play. It's just like a bunch of adults. The other thing I thought was cool is the average age is probably like 34.
Starting point is 01:08:50 Oh, it's much older. That's the best part. Yeah, there's not all the fucking kids around. There's a lot of like maturity. A lot of people know how to handle themselves. Because it's expensive.
Starting point is 01:08:58 Yeah. It's not, the kids can't afford it. It's also a big commitment. Huge commitment. Hopefully you don't need it if you're in college. Your whole life is Burning Man. No, but like Coachella, like the barrier to entry, it's like's also a big commitment. Huge commitment. Hopefully you don't need it if you're in college. Your whole life is Burning Man.
Starting point is 01:09:06 No, but Coachella, the barrier to entry, it's like you get a ticket and then you share, I remember doing it for the first time, it's like 18 people in a three-bedroom. It's the least barrier to entry to go in. Here, it's just like, there's planning, people are responding.
Starting point is 01:09:22 It takes organization and also I would say it's very different from college because colleges it's the opposite like you you're reliant on so many people the school has got your insurance they've got your housing your parents got your money they got and every party is all this it's like with this you have to search it out like you have to get your own fucking water you have to get your own rv you have to fix your own fucking problems and i think adults are more apt to do that. And then kids, I think that, I think there's kids that go there for the party. Like there's all these like model chicks that are there and they're there just for the party pretty much. And then hopefully they get something out of it.
Starting point is 01:09:54 I think it's very hard to be there for an extended period of time and not fall into it. And I know we said this before, but I'm curious your guys feeling on it after going, like, do you see how, when you remove money and you give access to everybody, like how you create other hierarchies? Yeah. It's always very subversive. Yeah. Like, cause you're thinking going in like, Oh, I'm going to like kick it with like these hot models and people would be dressed so cool. And like, I'm going to be hanging with them. And then you realize like the most fulfilling part is like the random guy that like works there. Yeah. That like this is like his 20th thing. And he's like showing you a cool spot.
Starting point is 01:10:28 Yeah. And no one works there. Yeah. I guess not. Like the volunteers are like some random dude that's just been around. Yeah. And he's just like down to chop it up. I mean, we had this awesome moment.
Starting point is 01:10:36 We were in this like, so we're at this tent. We're at this camp that had like a huge dance floor, then a bar. And then it had like a side thing that almost looked like a clothing store. And then there was a rack of clothes that were pretty like densely packed. And if you separated them, you could go into this room where the ceilings were maybe like waist high.
Starting point is 01:10:55 Waist high? And you had to like go through the clothes. And it was like this almost like opium dem vibes. And we were all in there. And we were just- That was a Molly night. That was a Molly night. But it was like, it was so. And we were all in there. And we were just- That was a Molly night. That was a Molly night. But it was like, it was so cool.
Starting point is 01:11:08 We were vibing. We had met up with some random people that we had met up with before. And one of the dudes was like an ex-pastor that had like given up the church and him and his wife were there. And we were just talking about like their experience and what was going on
Starting point is 01:11:23 and how like there's still a lot from the church that he really liked. And we asked him if he would do a prayer for us. And he hadn't done it in years. And it was really cool. We all held hands, and he had said this cool prayer. And he had this moment where he was like, oh, wow, I didn't realize I kind of needed that. And I'm like, that's the most random thing that you get in Burning Man.
Starting point is 01:11:45 That saved us. Yeah, it was great. The prayer saved us. Yeah. You prayed for your phone back. Andrew and I were just like super low. Low, dude. And just completely checked out.
Starting point is 01:11:55 And that happened. And then we were like, oh, shit, let's go. Off to the races, bro. Yeah, and then we just went. It was great. Yeah. So those kind of moments are just, I don't know. I just think it's so cool what people can create,
Starting point is 01:12:08 especially when they're in this safe place to be the best version of yourself. I don't think that this is realistic outside of there, but I think one of the motivational things for me is, it's like the feeling that I have here, how can I recreate that at times? How can I recreate that at times how can I like recreate that at one of our shows how can our you know how can we recreate it through the pod how can we recreate it in these other parts of life and I think you can tap into it I think for it to be that extended feeling you need drugs and a community that has these guidelines and all these creative
Starting point is 01:12:45 people in the same place that are just looking to kind of give, but you can't take parts of that and make them exist in the default world. Yeah, the drugs I was thinking is like, you know, they say alcohol is social lubrication. Yeah. Drugs are like Burning Man lubrication. Yeah. I'm sure there are people who go every year who are sober. I didn't meet them, but I also wasn't there that long. Yeah. And in an RV the whole time, pretty much. Yeah. But I think it, it helps you enjoy everything and be like a part of it. Yeah. The drugs. I actually met a bunch of people that said they were sober. Really? Yeah. Cause I was like, this is cool. And I'm trying to lean in and be into it.
Starting point is 01:13:18 And I was like, this is great. I'm really glad I came, but I wasn't feeling the thing. Maybe it would happen in a few more days. I think it takes a little bit. I think it takes two or three days if it's your first time to get caught up because for me, guilt works in the opposite direction. I don't know which direction it works in, but there can be a guilt that you feel when you're getting too much. And I think that's what inspires so much giving there. You see all these people
Starting point is 01:13:45 that put all this time into making these art cars and creating these nights and these DJs and everybody doing this thing and nobody's making money. And at least I started thinking like, fuck, what can I do? How can I help out? Well, there's a guy next to me. He looks like he might need some water. Hey man, you want some water? There's a guy over here and they need fucking, you know, a drink. Or maybe you want to just give them them a bottle maybe you want to just give them a piece of clothing because they think your jacket's really cool you're like you know what you fucking take it like for me that just starts to like set the
Starting point is 01:14:12 the wheels in motion it's pretty cool yeah that was my biggest thing is like I wish I went alone earlier I wish I was just there longer yeah and like having a thing to give quicker yeah because it's like if you don't like i don't know i think people are using maybe some people i don't know or like using drugs as a way
Starting point is 01:14:30 as like a conduit to connect to people when a gift would be almost like equally or more effective like once like we were at like some day thing and i just had like a spray bottle that i someone gave me yeah and i was just like spraying people down yeah chris yeah probably someone i don't know i was just like spraying people like it was so hot and then just through that people were like that was a great connection yeah and i was like oh that is like i appreciated that moment more than like any type of like substance and substance-induced relationship yeah yeah i don't know i don't know if i can agree with you because you know it's chemicals that are creating this feeling i was talking to yada about this Because you know it's chemicals that are creating this feeling. I was talking to Uyeda about this.
Starting point is 01:15:05 Like, you're aware that the chemicals are creating the feeling, but the feeling is real. Yes. What you feel, the love you feel from someone and to someone and for someone is real. And the way that you're connecting with them is real. And the things you're saying to them. And sometimes you need that, like, extra push to tell someone how you really feel about them. You know, like, existing in the default world for whatever reason, like, and I hate even calling it that,
Starting point is 01:15:26 but that's just what we're calling it, non-burning, man. The environment might not be conducive for you to just fucking hug your friend and say, hey, man, you're the shit. I love you.
Starting point is 01:15:33 This is awesome. Because you're also going, man, how many things do we need to do? You know what I mean? How many business deals are on the table? What can we negotiate?
Starting point is 01:15:40 What do we need to fix? They'll think I'm weird if I say this. Yeah. But that's, like, the practice thing. Like if you're able to like use an experimentation or like a drug experience as a way to practice how to behave outside of that. I think people do that with mushrooms.
Starting point is 01:15:51 They will have an experience and be like, oh, I have a different perspective on how I see myself and my role in society. And now I'm going to behave that way. So I'm like that to me is where it's the most beneficial. That is an interesting thing you hear about drugs in general. If you watch the Carlin documentary, his whole career changed because of One Acid Trip. Really? He was like this clean comedian doing those 50s kind of like corny, I guess, jokes. And then he had One Acid Trip and he was like, I'm a complete fraud. None of this is real and none of this is who I am. And then he became that kind of like anti-system comic or whatever off of One Acid Trip. And I hear that
Starting point is 01:16:22 about shrooms. Like, oh, I got high off shrooms one time and I had this big revelation it's interesting that you'll hear that from drugs sometimes hell yeah life changing stuff it's on music all these bands and shit
Starting point is 01:16:33 they were doing psychedelics they were creating some cool things yeah but I think that's like the intentionality thing like if you're just going into it
Starting point is 01:16:39 and be like yo how can I like take and have fun and like be filled up from like this thing I feel like it's less beneficial at least for me than going and being like okay what can I learn from this experience and and like be filled up from like this thing? I feel like it's less beneficial, at least for me than going and being like,
Starting point is 01:16:47 okay, what can I learn from this experience? And then apply to the rest of my life. Because if it's only like predicated or like, it can only be accessed through a substance, then you're dependent on a substance. And then I feel like that's where you start like spiraling. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:58 Yeah. But if you can take those lessons where like you're on fucking Tesla or E or whatever, and you're like, yo, I feel so much love for these people and I'm telling them how much i love them and now when i'm in real life i'm going to kind of get over that insecurity because i didn't have it then so i'm just going to push through the insecurity and say it anyway and now i'm able to channel what like the substance
Starting point is 01:17:14 gave me but in everyday life without being dependent on it yes that's pretty much what i did like i went in going i was like hey i want to smile with uh smile at people more yeah talk to strangers more and just be loving so it's like i was just, talk to strangers more, and just be loving. So it's like I was just walking up to strangers, giving them a compliment. Just something I like, whatever, either good energy or I like that coat or whatever. And that's the chemicals thing you're talking about. Hug, smile. That feeling thing is real.
Starting point is 01:17:37 You're feeling those real feelings. Yeah, yeah. I agree with you. I understand what you're saying. I just think drugs are also fun. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. But no, I understand what you're saying. I just think drugs are also fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:46 But no, I hear what you're saying. I had that experience with Molly the first time, and I've told this story a million times, but seeing what happens when you're full and what you want to do with it, and you just want to give. You want to give to your friends. And I was like, oh, that's really cool
Starting point is 01:17:57 to know humans are capable of that. So it's like, how do we fill up? Drugs aren't the only way to fill up. There's other ways to fill up. Some people fill up through the gym, or some people fill up through achievements. Some people fill up by helping others, but getting to the point where you're full, knowing what you do after that is great. Like, um, like for me, like complimenting people is, is, uh, not something that's very
Starting point is 01:18:16 difficult for me. I've actually think it's like one of the most rewarding things about having like, um, some level of like, uh, I don't want to say fame, but like one of the coolest things, let's just call it fame. One of the coolest things about being famous is I can compliment people and be nice to people and be kind to people. And they don't think that I want anything from them. So it's allowed me to be genuinely nice to people. And it's just appreciated instead of when someone doesn't know you, especially in New York, and they walk up and to be genuinely nice to people. And it's just appreciated. Instead of when someone doesn't know you, especially in New York,
Starting point is 01:18:49 and they walk up and they're like being nice, you're like, fuck is this guy, yo? What does he want? What's your game here? What's your, I get to just be like, hey man, thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Oh, I love that fucking jacket.
Starting point is 01:19:02 And then someone goes, oh shit, Schultz, what up, man? No one thinks you're trying to steal their jacket. Exactly. Can I ride your bike? And they'd be like, yeah, of course. And I feel like Burning Man creates that environment. Maybe it's induced by the drugs, and maybe it's induced by the other things. It's a lot of things, yeah. But, like, it creates the environment where there's a reduction of cynicism,
Starting point is 01:19:15 and you get to, and Uyeda said this brilliantly. He's like, you're coming to a place where there's, like, almost no cynicism, right? So, like, you're taking everything at face value. If somebody comes up to you, a dude comes up to you, and you and you're like dude your outfit's fucking sick he means it yeah or if someone grabs your phone like you trust like oh they're not about to run off they're gonna take a picture of me or something like because it's not take yeah everybody there is in give mode and when people are in give mode it's not weird when someone gives you something and asks for nothing so if it's a compliment if when i when i where you will take somebody's phone you think that
Starting point is 01:19:42 they're actually gonna give you something out of that experience and it just totally like resets your mind. Yeah. It was interesting to see like you see people walk up to you in the streets over here all the time and it's just like you know why they're coming up.
Starting point is 01:19:54 They're appreciative of like the comedy, the podcast and all of that and you almost have like the same type of reaction. You're appreciative and you give it right back. Yeah. Seeing the people that would like,
Starting point is 01:20:04 they would always sneak up on you at Burning Man be like like i remember one girl going well i didn't know you were a burner and you're sharing a different reaction with your fans in this case that were like they probably were like oh shit he's giving me more than like what that probably that interaction would normally be because you actually really want to know about them so i saw that with you a lot on there that was actually kind of cool and then i was i was front row seat to this fucking glowing orb that is alex media on the playa insert video of him head to toe sequence there was a day it's from sunrise over where and you said this before i think it's before this started happening all over the place so you were like if you feel good you look. And he was head to toe sequence
Starting point is 01:20:45 and people would just walk up to him like verge of tears like, what is this ball of energy that I'm walking up to? And Al just like, would give him
Starting point is 01:20:53 the biggest hugs while he was still dancing. It was the craziest day. It was from like, sunrise through the day. That was the best hug. I was loving it. I especially love
Starting point is 01:21:02 him saying hello to every single black person I saw. That's almost the best thing for a black person, yeah. I especially love saying hello to every single black person I saw. I almost started doing that for you, son. I almost started doing it because I was with you when you were doing it.
Starting point is 01:21:12 It was so many black people. So many more. I was very happy about that. But the first hello was never like in person. You have to see it from like at a distance.
Starting point is 01:21:19 It's 10 feet away and you see Al. You see the black person. They look at each other and they're just like, yeah. And they kind of like do this little dance look at each other and they're just like, yeah. And they kind of like do this little dance bounce
Starting point is 01:21:27 to each other. It's just fun. I love it. I had such a fulfilling experience there, man. What was your favorite party? Whew. Favorite party? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:21:39 Because it's all kind of a blur to me because I don't really care about the DJ or whatever the case. I don't really necessarily like that music. I love it now. Now, bro. But I didn't like it before. I kind of needed the drugs
Starting point is 01:21:50 to even like enjoy that type of shit. Yeah. But honestly, no. My favorite things were the one-on-one experiences I had with people. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:57 That was the favorite part. Like one time, me and Volley, we walked off. We went to the man and like watched the sun come up. It was just a joyous moment. Like arm in arm, just like watching the sun come up. It was just a joyous moment.
Starting point is 01:22:06 Arm in arm, just watching the sun come up, vibing, connecting. That was beautiful. That's the best part. I think it's just the personal connections. Whether it's dancing with somebody at a party or just listening to a story or listening to a difficult thing they had to go through. The anonymity is so cool.
Starting point is 01:22:22 Talking to someone, yo, what's your name? They don't tell you their government name. They tell you a client name. I can't get yo, what's your name? They don't tell you their government name. They tell you a playa name. I can't get on board with that shit. No, I need a playa name, bro. My only cynicism that exists.
Starting point is 01:22:31 It feels kind of corny, but the cool thing about it is that this person, this happened to me multiple times, where someone tells me not their name and then that indicates to me,
Starting point is 01:22:38 oh, they're enjoying being a different person, being kind of anonymous. And then I'm able to ask them really deep questions and we're getting into this crazy conversation and then at the end of it there's no like hey let me keep your info it's just like this ends now yeah like it's almost like symbolic of like
Starting point is 01:22:51 burning all the art it's like yeah this conversation is burnt forever like this relationship is never going to happen again you just purged all this and i told you stuff i've never told anyone before yeah and then we're just walking away and that's that yo it's yeah yeah yeah you're living in that moment which is the idea of this right that's why they're like there's a catharsis to like to getting stuff off your chest like yo i can't even tell like my family this but like i just i'll tell you because there's no stakes and people be telling bro i was at the bathroom i'm waiting to go to the bathroom and this guy next to me and i'm like uh how you doing my man and he's like he's like uh i'm good he is uh you know and if and I complain, no one would listen.
Starting point is 01:23:25 Or something like that. There's a saying. If I complain, no one would listen. And I'm like, I'd listen. What you want to complain about? He goes, I don't care about your complaints. And I go, no, man. If you have something to complain about, I'll listen.
Starting point is 01:23:39 I'm going to listen to you right now. I'm like, this is the gift I'm going to give to him. He goes, I just want to die. I just want to die. I got to be honest with you. I had to go to the bathroom so bad, son. And someone came out the urinal and I was just like, hold that thought, my Jesus.
Starting point is 01:24:02 You got to keep it together for two minutes. This is one gift I ain't giving today. He came out, guy was gone? Literally. What happened? There's one guy
Starting point is 01:24:13 that's burning, man. It's going to be big. Did he have points or what? He didn't convince me. He didn't say much, but nah, I didn't talk to him after that. To me, that was it.
Starting point is 01:24:26 Favorite party. Say again? What was your favorite party? Blondish. Not that one. This DJ was so amazing, man. I've never heard of her. And I know, I know.
Starting point is 01:24:34 And I didn't before. Just because I'm not familiar with the music. I'm sure she was like a huge success. But she was fucking phenomenal, man. I was sober and she was great. Right? Great. And I don't normally like that music. I was like, this was great. Right? Great. I was like, this is, and I don't normally like that music.
Starting point is 01:24:46 I was like, this is great. Oh, she was just great. And like, we met, we went, we saw her at one party at Casbah and then later we saw her in an art car and her and Diplo, Diplo, who also fucking crushed you
Starting point is 01:24:56 on that art car. Yeah, he was great too. We saw them at this, it's called Titanic's Revenge or something. Titanic's End. Titanic's End. Oh, that makes more sense
Starting point is 01:25:04 because that's where, and they were fucking killing it and I was high and fucking drunk, and I tried to bestow a compliment on her. I mean, I was so stupid. You talked to her? Yeah, what did I say? Because Diplo's talking to him. He's a comedy fan, I guess.
Starting point is 01:25:20 Wait, sorry, what was I going to say? No, remember I said, I went to... I literally just... Calm down, I'll get you back. Calm down, I'll get you back. No, I... Tap her while she's like, okay, I want to interrupt her when she's like mixing. And then you tap. You were exceptional.
Starting point is 01:25:37 She just like holds and like you wait and you want her to like focus on you. I was like, you were exceptional. That's a nice thing to say. No, I'm not done. No. That's not good. I go, you were exceptional. And then she waits.
Starting point is 01:25:49 She kind of looks at me. She says, okay. Now, earlier in the night, when we were watching her at this party in front of the pyramid, it was beautiful. There was like this really vulnerable moment that she had where she was like, I really liked you guys. And then she goes, did you guys like me? Yeah. And then everybody goes, yeah. like me yeah and then everybody was yeah she goes okay i'm just working on my insecurities so i'm approaching her with that
Starting point is 01:26:09 energy right i'm like oh this is like just this brutally talented person that also is kind of insecure maybe in like a social setting so i want to come in and just make you feel so comfortable so i go you were exceptional and she goes yeah yeah I go, you were exceptional. And she goes, yeah, yeah. So, so, so. I'm like, hold on, yo. Did you trick me before when I was on the set, yo?
Starting point is 01:26:38 Did you trick me before when I was screaming, you're the most amazing? What the hell is going on? I was like, yo, you speak English, but I had no fucking clue what was going on. She was brilliant. And then, and then when I tried to articulate, she was like, yeah, thank you. Like, we're just something like super confident, like self, you know? And then I, and I said this, when I was trying to articulate and I didn't understand how to kind of do it, but I was like, it's like, you're having a conversation. I was like, you
Starting point is 01:27:04 listen to the, you listen to the crowd. And the only way I could kind of make sense, if I didn't understand how to kind of do it, but I was like, it's like you're having a conversation. I was like, you listen to the crowd. And the only way I could kind of make sense of it, I didn't explain it anymore, but in stand-up, like there's some comics that just like they say their jokes, but it's almost like they don't listen to the crowd reacting or not. And then the crowd kind of tunes out because it's just like you're just spewing things, but you're not listening to us. And it felt like when she was DJing, especially in front of the pyramid,
Starting point is 01:27:25 granted we're fucking on drugs or whatever, but it was like, oh, this is a conversation. You know, I don't know. We felt like paid attention to. And then she was like, oh, thank you for that. And then nothing after that. But she's still, I've been listening to her non-fucking-stop and just amazing.
Starting point is 01:27:43 My favorite. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's about having everyone together. For me, that was the best time. It's just like when everyone was chilling together and we all linked up. Yeah. Riding e-bikes on a playa at sunrise.
Starting point is 01:27:55 I wish Vala didn't leave, man. I really wish she didn't. I texted him that. I was so bummed that he left. Yeah, I really wish she didn't leave. That was probably my biggest regret that I didn't get to experience. One Thursday all together. That's all we needed.
Starting point is 01:28:08 Literally, that was like my only like negative thing that I took from Burning Man was that I didn't get a— Because the moment that we had on the drive up was amazing. And then the moment that Al and I had was like amazing. Probably my favorite part of Burning Man was just hanging out with Al. Yeah. And like Al was just like the most adorable fucking human being ever.
Starting point is 01:28:33 He's like, he sees me from the corner of his eyes. He's like, he's like, Vala, I'm a little fucked up, man. I'm going to need your help. And I was like, don't worry, bro. I'm going to need your help. And I was like, don't worry, bro. I got you. And then we literally
Starting point is 01:28:48 just locked arms and we just started walking towards the man. It was like, the man is like this like massive like thing that's like right in the middle of the playa.
Starting point is 01:28:58 And we just walked up there. I was like, yeah, let's go watch the sunrise. And then we just found a spot and we both just like kind of laid like this. And we're just watching the sun come up and like, yeah, let's go watch the sunrise. And then we just found a spot and we both just like kind of laid like this. And we're just watching the sun come up. And like it was just the most amazing moment of the whole fucking thing.
Starting point is 01:29:15 Like literally like we're both just like sitting there tearing up. And then we just talked about everything over the past like two years. Just like, you know, like uh things that we've gone through and you know just like misunderstandings and all that stuff and we kind of just like hugged it out and then walked back to uh yeah that was dope i wish you stayed longer and i wish you guys came earlier because i i do think that like the first few days, there's like a bonding experience that happens. Yeah. And the party isn't as crazy or whatever, but the bonding is so deep.
Starting point is 01:29:51 Yeah. There's like a jitters. Like I feel like it's like first day of school. Everyone's so excited. And also people are less down. Right. Right. Because by day, like by Thursday, early in the night, you feel it.
Starting point is 01:30:03 Bro, bro, like I felt like an energy. And I was like, oh, everybody's hurting a little. And then it gets to like 2 or 3 in the morning, and you're like, oh, everybody's so high, that's covered up. But when we were at that one party that was like, it felt like, I don't know, like dungeon. Hellfire. Yeah, hellfire.
Starting point is 01:30:20 I was like, yo, everybody here needs ecstasy or something like that. Did you feel the energy a little? Yeah. I mean, that's how you can also follow that music. It's like, you don't need to know every DJ or this, but the style of music, you need to be into that style. Get the fuck out because you will feel the energy of it. I'm glad you guys woke me up that Thursday night. Because I was about to just sleep that, take that day off.
Starting point is 01:30:47 Trying to wake me up that night. This guy came in and is just like poking my face. Vala, don't hate me, buddy, but I'm going to try to wake you up. I'm like. It's his fault because he made me do the fucking bow. But I got you going, though. What about you, Mark? What was your favorite experience?
Starting point is 01:31:08 It was that first night we were all together. Like, just that whole night was, like, the best as far as, like, a collective, like, I don't know, like, bonding moment. Yeah. And then, I mean, it was only there three days. So it was that. And then it was the next day of just exploring and, like, hanging out, talking to as many people as I could, just stopping people and just being like, yo, where are you going? Can I come? Oh, really?
Starting point is 01:31:29 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You would just stop people? Yeah. Like, because that was, like, the thing. That's what I was trying to mention. Like, when, like, using substances as a conduit to, like, access emotion and then accessing the emotion later as, like, a more frequent and sustainable way to, like, benefit from the drugs in the first place. Yeah, yeah, it's great. So I was like, oh, this is what I would do
Starting point is 01:31:46 like if I was kind of drunk. Yeah. So I'm just going to walk it up to someone like and try to channel that confidence. Just be like, yo, where are you guys going? Can I tag along? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And every time they were like, yeah, sure.
Starting point is 01:31:55 Yeah. And one of the days I went and just like went off by myself, I just started stopping at random camps and just started helping them out. I was like helping them put shit together. Like one camp I stopped, they were like doing foods. I was just helping serving the food. And then I just like left.
Starting point is 01:32:08 I didn't even eat. It just felt so good. Isn't it great to just help and not want anything? Yeah. And it was during the day when I was like completely sober. It felt more rewarding that I was like putting it into practice. Having time alone there is, it's valuable, but like it took me a few years to feel comfortable with it. Time alone, it can be scary, especially if you're down.
Starting point is 01:32:29 Maybe you're in your head a little bit. But I had a night looking for you guys alone, and what was nice about it was I didn't look too hard. You know what I mean? I took the time. Okay, maybe I go back. There are events that are happening. There are DJs that are happening at certain times. And that's your communication with people.
Starting point is 01:32:51 Yeah. Because you can't text. Yeah. But if you know your friends are going to be at a place, you're not like in this state of, am I ever going to meet them? You go, at 4 o'clock, they'll be there somewhere. That's how I found you guys after I crashed on my bike and broke my foot. And it works.
Starting point is 01:33:09 And then for me, like I have a comfort and a calm because I agree with you guys. The most valuable part to me is being with friends that I love. And I just want to see them experience it and see them, you know, tap into these new things, right? And tap into new things myself. So like I would feel FOMO if I wasn't with you guys. But knowing that I am going to meet up with you guys at a certain point in time gives me all the comfort in the world to go explore.
Starting point is 01:33:31 And that was really cool, man. Which is so crazy because you're in the middle of the desert with 80,000 people and you just run into people. All the time. That is the craziest fucking. Dude, I ran into friends that I haven't seen in years. And I lived 10 minutes away from them in LA or New York. And I'm like, how the fuck did I just run into you?
Starting point is 01:33:55 Yeah. And it was like right when you're on like your way down. Yeah. Because it's like 9 a.m. The sun's up. Yeah. And you're hot and you're like, fuck, man. I kind of just want to go back to the RV.
Starting point is 01:34:06 You just like turn around and you're like, holy shit, you. Give me a hug. And that's like the coolest moment. That night that I kind of went out solo,
Starting point is 01:34:16 I was, you know, you guys were, I think, went to a party where Blondish was at, like Juju. And then that night later
Starting point is 01:34:21 was when Robot Heart and Mind Warrior, these are these two massive art cars that have music. We're going to to meet up and play the concert together. And I went out. I went all around. I looked for Diddy and fucking Elon Musk's camp there over on the other side. I was like, how does the other half live?
Starting point is 01:34:40 And then I went to some other parties, kind of walked around, saw some shit. I finally biked out there to Mind Warrior and Robot Heart, and I was looking. I couldn't find you guys. I did another loop, couldn't find you. And then I went back to my bike, and all of a sudden I turned to my left, and Jameel, my friend, and I'm 13 years old, is just standing right there next to my bike with his bike. Selling lemonade. Selling lemonade.
Starting point is 01:35:07 Still charging a dollar. A dollar, bro. And then, and it was just like you said, it's like, we were going to bump into them and then we just rocked out that night.
Starting point is 01:35:15 Funny thing about Jameel, I got lost one night looking for this fucking party. The same night as Blondish at Juju and I, I was like, fuck, I can't find this one party that i want to go to because my friend was djing there and uh i started riding my bike to um to uh juju for
Starting point is 01:35:34 blondish because i know they're all going to be there and i was like fuck it i'm just going to stop at every camp and just like see what what's going on there and I'm riding my bike. I can't see shit because it's like a massive sandstorm. Oh, yeah. And all of a sudden, Jameel has no lights on or anything.
Starting point is 01:35:54 Dude is like dark skin wearing dark clothes, no lights on. And I'm like, yo, is that Jameel? Yeah. And I pull over. I was like, you're?
Starting point is 01:36:03 He's like, who the fuck am I talking to right now? Who do you think you're talking to? You have no idea how many times that shit happens. He's like Dumbledore. He just like, he just apparates
Starting point is 01:36:12 and he's just like, I have a plan for you. And you're like, all right, this is super helpful actually. But like, that was my biggest insecurity that I wish I could have gotten
Starting point is 01:36:19 out of my system or like next time do better at is like not trying to maximize. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's hard, dude. I have such a desire to like maximize and optimize everything. Like, okay, I'm here for 24 hours. like next time do better at is like not trying to maximize yeah you know what i mean like i have such a desire to like maximize optimize everything like okay i'm here for 24 hours how do i do all
Starting point is 01:36:29 the best stuff and do everything and have the best perfect time yeah and as a result like i'm at things and instead of enjoying them i'm like think about the next one yeah i'm thinking the next one the one i just left i was like i should go back to that or like is there another thing and like yeah i don't know it's it's difficult to like channel like yo what do i actually like that is what do i actually enjoy i fucking well i relate to that a million different ways and the and that's what i really liked about like a schedule and dove this is a great contribution that you gave to us which was like i mean this like and i knew that you were gonna do this but like dove would know the the a few fun things that were happening that night.
Starting point is 01:37:07 And then once you knew that. And he would tell you, be here, this place, this time. Exactly. You knew where your friends were going to be and you knew things that were going to be fun and you were going to have a good time. Outside of those things, get lost. Yeah. Spend as much time as you want in a fucking opium den.
Starting point is 01:37:22 We could have been doing other things, but we got in this really cool conversation in an opium den. But we knew that there were other things to do. I get the anxiety when I don't know what we could be doing. I'm fine choosing not to do it because I'm having fun with something else. But I don't like going, well, what is out there? What else is going on? But yeah, I don't know if you ever lose the feeling of FOMO because the more you go, the more things you realize are there. Yeah. Right? So the more you feel like you are going to be missing out on. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:52 Yes, you got to just dig the fucking heels in, man. Exactly. And have some fun. Yeah, there's a way to get over that or like to practice that. Yeah. And really be like, yo, what do I like? Yeah, but – What do I actually enjoy?
Starting point is 01:38:02 Yeah, I think you hit it about the being with friends. For me, it's all about collaboration it's like i just love i love us as a group doing this i love group sports even with surfing i hate doing it alone it's an individual sport i hated being alone i like watching my friends get waves and like their eyes fucking light up when they get the best way of their life i like seeing that with you guys. There's that famous quote, not to be cliche, but like, if you want to go fast, go alone. You want to go far, go together. But I mean that, like I feel that a million percent.
Starting point is 01:38:32 Life is so much more enjoyable when it's shared. And I think Burning Man is the epitome of that. Like seeing everybody that you already sleep in an RV with, but at the party later when you haven't seen a few hours and the excitement that gets, why is that exciting? Why is it fun? Why do you like have to hug your boy?
Starting point is 01:38:50 It's just better. Dancing with someone is better than dancing alone. Dancing alone is great, but like Al and I were doing fucking merengue in front of like, and it was just the best, dude. It was like, yeah.
Starting point is 01:39:04 Oh, so good. So good. Yeah. So you'll do that. You think you guys will go back? That's a good question. Yeah. 100%.
Starting point is 01:39:15 Absolutely. No. God told me. You're not built for this. God did. God did. Yeah't true God did yeah um
Starting point is 01:39:26 Duff I will it's not one of those things after like that drive out and after like that part you're just like
Starting point is 01:39:35 I'm not I don't want to think about it right now I don't want to be one of those guys that talks about it for weeks and weeks and like this is what I'm looking forward to yeah
Starting point is 01:39:42 because I know I know now I can do it I know what I like I know that there's still much to discover in there but i know i knew before what i knew i would like i love the link up afterwards and that's like yeah it was simple with your friends connecting even deeper and riding sunrise on the plyo with e-bikes is just like it's everything but it's not something i'm thinking about right now i'm just like well the drive actually wouldn't be bad even like leaving or whatever if you just like like it's everything. But it's not something I'm thinking about right now. I'm just like. Well, the drive actually wouldn't be bad, even like leaving or whatever, if you just like, like if I was with my girl or some shit and we're just like able to talk and just fucking like put around in traffic,
Starting point is 01:40:13 like it would have been worth it. 24 hours, it gives a shit. You know what I mean? That was one thing I wish. I wish my girl was there. Yeah. Like that would have been so cool. Like it's like perfect date night for a week.
Starting point is 01:40:21 Just exploring random shit, looking at stuff. Yeah. I don't know I feel like there's less of a need for me at least to worry about FOMO or like finding the cool thing when like
Starting point is 01:40:31 the like click like that is so intimate yeah I want my wife to be there but I want other people's wives to be there because I want
Starting point is 01:40:39 them to be able to experience shit too because I still want things I still want things, I still want to do things myself. And I know that, especially the first time, that would make my wife uncomfortable.
Starting point is 01:40:52 Yeah. Yeah. But I also don't want to babysit. Yeah. So I want to experience the things that we want to experience together. And then I want her and the girls to go do the things that they're curious about. There's a fucking spa on Burning Man that you get an appointment to do your fucking toes and your fingers.
Starting point is 01:41:08 They had a pregnancy meetup. I was talking to this pregnant couple for a few hours, and they literally were at a meetup where there was 30 pregnant women that were just hanging out. And I didn't want to be judgmental, so I was like, so have you been sober this week? She was like, you fucking idiot. Duh. I was like, well, you know, I don't want to judge.
Starting point is 01:41:30 But yeah, it's like there's so many things for everyone. It seems like the best. Yeah. We'll see. We'll see if they get down. But I'm thinking like, oh, I want my parents to go. I want my sister. Like every single thing I saw, I knew a person in my life that was like, oh, this would be their favorite thing.
Starting point is 01:41:48 And I'm so pissed like they can't be here to do their favorite thing. So I just have to go tell them about it yeah yeah yeah i've had those exact same feelings i still have those afterwards like because there is something for everybody there yeah and then you get to experience the thing that you like in the greatest environment ever created with other people that that's also their favorite like it's and it just happened it was so coincidental geek out about the art yeah with the people that also are geeking out about it and then love you and think you're great. That was a really cool moment. We walked up to an art thing, and there was this guy. It was the one where all the different mechanisms impacted the lights. Yeah, that's when you flipped that.
Starting point is 01:42:17 So every little thing was happening, and there was this guy running up being like, oh, try this one. Do this thing. Put on these glasses. And you walk up to him and you go, oh, are you the artist? And he goes, no, I'm not. I just thought I'm really excited. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so he's just like showing everyone how to do it.
Starting point is 01:42:29 He's just like running the thing. And apparently the actual artist was in there and they were just like doing it. Just watching. While this guy was doing it. Watching people get excited off their art. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:42:38 Are you already planning going back? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm definitely bringing my girl next time. 100%. Yeah, she has to come. I want to bring as many people as you can. Everybody I know, especially black people, I would like to bring more of them.
Starting point is 01:42:53 It's like, they need to see this. Yeah. You? I mean, the second I'm out, I missed it. I woke up the next morning and I was having FOMO. And second I'm out, I missed it. I woke up the next morning and I was like having FOMO. And then I was like, I started playing the music. I was like listening to Blondish and I would like get caught up.
Starting point is 01:43:13 And it was almost like if there's a little like ecstasy left in my system, it like rattles it and gets it going again. It's like in your spinal cord? Yes. Crack your back? There we go. You stir the glass and there's like some sediment at the bottom, right? What's crazy is you don't party.
Starting point is 01:43:30 Like, you really don't. Like, sometimes on tour, so I'm just like... I'm not a partier like that, yeah. I'm just like, what is the thing you could do in between? Like, vacation partying is fun. No, but like for me, like even on tour, like what is my favorite thing to do? Eating. No, no, but it's not eating.
Starting point is 01:43:44 Oh, that post-show.show, the communal aspect of eating. Talking, fucking busting balls, enjoying life, listening to some music. I can hang out in the fucking green room afterwards and do the same thing with everybody. So I get the same thing from Burning Man in that regard. We're all together. We're all enjoying life. We're all making fun of one another. We're all appreciating what we just did.
Starting point is 01:44:09 A post-show isn't that different. Think about after Radio City or after when we did Town Hall. Crazy energy, euphoria, success. Gratitude. Seeing people excited over banal achievements is so funny, too. Just the sun rising and then people hugging. Yeah. Like we did it.
Starting point is 01:44:28 It's like time went by. They were cheering. But they were so excited. I felt it too. I was like we did do it. Yeah. But we didn't. But we did though. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:34 But the beauty of that shit with the mountains. Oh yeah. And like it warms you up. You get sun worship. You get why like every culture like worship the sun. Of course.
Starting point is 01:44:41 It's like all life comes from this thing. It makes you feel good. You see it. You're safe from predators. Like, like everything good in the world happens when that thing's there
Starting point is 01:44:48 and everything bad is when that thing's not there. And there's something really cool when you're, you're with all your friends and all your loved ones and you're sitting on the ground and the sun is literally
Starting point is 01:44:59 peeking from the ground. Creeping towards you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like making its way up and you're like, and you can still hear like the music from Robot Heart bumping. And you're like, oh shit, this is dope. It's like.
Starting point is 01:45:11 Yeah, it's just fucking great. And you know what's interesting? As much as like we're talking about how awesome this place is. Is, I don't know why I should be laughing. I know, these guys are mushing right now. What? It doesn't matter. We plow through.
Starting point is 01:45:24 As amazing as we're describing it, it is the worst environment on the planet. The harshest. Yeah. Like,
Starting point is 01:45:35 desert, hot as fuck during the day, sand is everywhere. Dust. Not even sand. Sand's easy to get off. Dust is on you.
Starting point is 01:45:44 But isn't that cool that all these feelings that we have can exist? And then immediately dusting it. It's caked on it. Dust. Not even sand. Sand's easy to get off. Dust is on you. But isn't that cool that all these feelings that we have can exist and then immediately dust can exist. It's caked on it. Yeah. Immediately.
Starting point is 01:45:50 You create clay by washing it. You guys weren't in the Valley this past week. It was brutal. It was bad. It was like 112 degrees every day.
Starting point is 01:45:58 People that are sleeping in tents had to change their entire schedules because they couldn't physically go to sleep in the daytime. And they would have to sleep in those two hours a night.
Starting point is 01:46:07 George Amir was just in a tent. Yeah, I know. All right, well, look. Any last thoughts? Anything else that we want to share? No, I had a great time. Thank you so much for making it happen. Of course, man.
Starting point is 01:46:18 Not only the inspo, but also planning everything. Yeah, Andrew did everything. No, thank Ben Uyeda. Ben Uyeda was so fucking is the best amazing with this man like he's that's great dude that's something
Starting point is 01:46:27 I really enjoyed with Ben is like we would we would do all this like planning and like problem solving and like organizing and like also thinking how we would do things
Starting point is 01:46:35 in the future and how we would improve things and it was like this little cool bonding moment that we would share like every single day
Starting point is 01:46:41 and uh and it was it was beautiful like I really enjoyed problem solving with single day and it was beautiful. Like I really enjoyed problem solving with him and yeah, it was great and like figuring out,
Starting point is 01:46:51 seeing how his mind worked with things. That was my favorite. Yeah. Seeing the way his mind works. His analogies. Yeah. Oh, it was amazing.
Starting point is 01:46:57 Everything. He's a machine with it. But yeah, it was really cool. Best body on earth. Oh my God. Yeah, unbelievable. His brother loves his brother.
Starting point is 01:47:05 Oh yeah, his brother's great too, man. I would encourage people to go on the supposition that you are in a mental state where you're ready to give and play and also old enough to appreciate it and then not going into the assumption that drugs are necessary.
Starting point is 01:47:22 Yeah. And that they could be used to like have fun and kind of like get things moving, but like not essential. You're going to do them probably no matter what. No. No, no. I mean like it is what happens there,
Starting point is 01:47:35 but I say that because I'm saying don't do, don't go there to do drugs. Like you can do drugs anywhere. There's no, it's not what you're going there for is you're going to find out, but it will be that connection. And that connection will happen with or without the drugs. It will happen during the day when you're miserable and somebody is handing you a fucking ice-cold beer when you really fucking want one. Or it will happen at night when you guys are partying there.
Starting point is 01:47:59 But, yeah, the drugs aren't like this necessary component, but it is a quicker way to get you there. Yeah. You know? Yeah, go check it out if you guys want to. If you don't want to, it's all good. Oh, the guys that didn't come, do you guys have curiosity about going? Miles said no to the experience. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:48:17 Yeah, of course. I mean, I would have loved to go, but some other time, definitely. Yeah. I don't feel like he wants it guys we didn't do a good job he'll go he'll love it he's the guy that explores every camp everything
Starting point is 01:48:33 I would have loved that and I think it sounds really cool just being in this room is fun to hear it's fun to hear you guys talk about it I'm not convinced literally Shifty I know we can't hear you guys talk about it. Yeah. I'm not convinced. Literally. Shifty, I know we can't hear you, but just speak loud enough.
Starting point is 01:48:50 Okay, you got it. Go. I'm kind of glad I didn't go. Okay. Because I don't think I would have been able to appreciate it. Okay. I don't think I'm old enough. Because Andrew would have made you work the whole time. No, I don't have enough life experience.
Starting point is 01:49:02 Shifty, we could be getting content right now. Yeah, we could have been. Where's the camera? He's just captioning everything. I just don't think I have enough life experience yet to appreciate doing cocaine in the desert yet. That's a very reductive version of... No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:49:18 It's kind of proof, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would love to do it when I get older and could handle it better, but you guys would have left, I would have been in the middle of the desert alone, and I would have fallen apart it when I get older and could handle it better, but you guys would have left, I would have been in the middle of the desert alone, and I would have fallen apart. That's fair.
Starting point is 01:49:30 Nah, there's no way. There's literally no way. The people look out, but this is okay. You literally set up a lemonade stand in the park today. You are a burner. This is halfway there. Well, you charge money. Shub?
Starting point is 01:49:45 I would have been there just babysitting Shifty the whole time. But no, I feel like I would have, I'm not ready for it yet either. Okay. I'm still too young.
Starting point is 01:49:55 Okay, wow. That's really interesting. That's it. I'm like fascinated by it. Why do you guys think that? I said I wanted to go, fucking, these guys didn't.
Starting point is 01:50:02 You got more mad at me. Because we didn't believe you. Yeah. You sound like me saying I want to go. Fucking these guys didn't. You got more mad at me. Because we didn't believe you. Yeah. You sound like me saying I want to go. Yeah, we didn't believe you. That's the broken foot, but it's all good. Oh, shit. It's all good.
Starting point is 01:50:16 What happened? Did you walk here today? I didn't walk here. No, I Ubered. He's fine. He was partying the whole night. He's good, bro. He's good now.
Starting point is 01:50:26 Cassetta, what are you thinking? You think you want to go to Burning Man? I'm open to it. Son, I don't think we're good PR for Burning Man. But maybe this is good. Maybe this is how we maintain it. Yeah, don't go. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:50:39 Maybe if... Yeah, it sucks. You guys should never go to... I was concerned a little bit. And I was like, I know we're going to come back and we're going to talk about our experiences there. And we're probably the, we're maybe without a doubt,
Starting point is 01:50:50 the biggest podcast that's ever spoken about Burning Man. Right now, this episode. Yeah. So it's not to say that people don't know about their sketches and all this kind of thing. Like people make jokes about it every single year afterwards. But like, we're probably the biggest platform that said this was awesome.
Starting point is 01:51:05 So a little part of me was like, are we, we better speak about this in the right way so that we create an expectation that people will want to experience, but that is also true to the experience. And if everybody so far that's listened to us was like, fuck that. Then maybe we did the right thing. Yeah, we killed it. Totally okay with that. Burning Man is safe. I like, fuck that. Maybe we did the right thing.
Starting point is 01:51:26 Yeah, we killed it. Burning Man is safe. I'm okay with that. Burning Man is safe. There's also something Al said at the... Oh no, we're ending it. Nope. We're back, people. I'm just checking. I'm just checking. I had to.
Starting point is 01:51:40 I had to. We drove out together. We put the motherfucker down. No, no, no. Go, go, go. Fuck you, Vala. Go, go, go. What do you got, Jack Sparrow? You got it.
Starting point is 01:51:50 Go, go, go. I need Pax Sparrow. My bad. Pax Sparrow. Fuck you, Mark. Okay, go. Sucks. Go, go.
Starting point is 01:51:58 Oh, yo. Can I tell you the funniest shit ever? The funniest shit ever? You should. You should. Tell me. When you lost to Pakistan? Can I tell you the funniest shit ever? The funniest shit ever? You should. Tell me.
Starting point is 01:52:07 When India lost to Pakistan? Okay. No, you lost. Hold on. We're getting off the elevator, and this... Hugo? This bad bitch is on the elevator with his get-off-its or something. It's me, Mark, Vala, and this girl. Girl's very cute.
Starting point is 01:52:24 And Vala, I guess, is trying to impress the girl. Mark says something. I don't know who she is. Very pretty girl. Where are we? In Burning Man? This is here before we go. This is like on our way out to Burning Man.
Starting point is 01:52:34 This is the last day we're together. A week before. For some reason, Mark says something, and for some reason, Vala wants to shit on Mark to impress this girl, right? And Vala says something to Mark like, oh, whatever, bro, you sound like a fucking idiot. And then Mark is just kind of like walking his bike casually
Starting point is 01:52:50 and Vala and the girl are like this. And then Mark, after a few seconds, just calls out. He goes, imagine being 5'6". No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. It was so funny because I was, as Vala said that,
Starting point is 01:53:08 I was like, yo, why are you shitting on Mark to impress this girl? You don't need to do that, dog. It's not necessary. And then Mark takes no fucking emotion on his face whatsoever, just casually walking his bike. Yo, imagine being 5'6". That's all he says. Bro, that shit was crazy.
Starting point is 01:53:25 Vala. This is why I hate Mark. It was unbelievable. Mark. It was, I felt bad. I even felt bad. I've never seen a shit like that before in my life, dog. This is like the eighth time that Dave always just says
Starting point is 01:53:46 some like little snarky persnickety thing to me. Just like, oh, Mark, you loser. Oh, shut up, dork. Like, he was just bugging me all day. All day.
Starting point is 01:53:54 This is my Columbine, bro. It's like, I was really cleave old, bro. That shit felt amazing. And he killed me in three words, bro. I was like,
Starting point is 01:54:01 fuck. Are you kidding me? It was so good. But what is it like, though? What did you want to say to Al before? No, real talk is not that bad. What is that? Me and five.
Starting point is 01:54:21 I'm taller than him. And I'm 5'7 thank you you all steal sex appeal okay tell us what were you saying to Al no it's something Al said at the airport where
Starting point is 01:54:39 I'll let you finish it but I'll remind you he said when he's at Burning Man, he doesn't feel black. Oh, yeah, I didn't really want to say that. Me neither. You did say that, though. Did I really say that?
Starting point is 01:54:53 No, you didn't say that. Yo, yo, Miles is racist. Never. No, no, no. Never. Hold on, hold on, hold on. But, Shifty, get back on the camera. Never in my life have I been more sure
Starting point is 01:55:09 Miles' race is fucked. For the first moment, Al's like, Al just feels like a person without an identity that's defined by his race. And Miles listens to the information and goes, Ha! You wish! You wish that was the case! defined by his race, and Miles listens to the information, goes, ha! You wish! You wish that was the case!
Starting point is 01:55:31 You wish! Follin just outed Al, and then Al goes, yeah, I didn't want to say that. That's why I'm laughing. Bullshit, Miles. Miles lost at the idea. Nah, nah, I just, I just. Miles is like, I'm going to Burning Man next year to make sure you never feel that way again
Starting point is 01:55:45 I'm not racist I wasn't sure if I'd be able to like articulate it that well cause I don't want it to sound like I'm very proud of being black and I like that it's part of my identity but I was afraid that if I articulate it wrong it sounds like oh I'm happy that I didn't feel black
Starting point is 01:56:01 at Burning Man you know let me ask you I'm trying to help for real is it you don't feel like everybody's looking at you like, oh, hey, there's a black guy? Like, if you're the majority, if you're a white dude walking through most places in America, it's just like, oh, hey, there's a guy. And then if you see a black person or a brown person or whatever, you're like, oh, there's a brown person. There's a black person. Well, luckily here there's no streets. You close the flyer. You hit that e-bike a little streets. You close the flyer.
Starting point is 01:56:27 You close the flyer. It's coming. Well, even if he steals, I'm giving anything. I don't care if he steals, I'm giving. I'm gifting. I don't know. Maybe it's like... Is that it? It's't know. Maybe it's like. Is that it?
Starting point is 01:56:46 It's not? What if it's like when you. Okay. What if it's like there are certain things that may be frowned upon to do because of your identity. And in a place like this, you feel free to do them because that's not what you're leading with. Not really. It's kind of more so I just wasn't reminded.
Starting point is 01:57:12 I feel that in society every single day, there's just like little minor things that just constantly remind me. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, like you get reminded that, oh, you're black, or, oh, you know, why are you dressed this way? There's so subtle things. And I just didn't feel it at all on that.
Starting point is 01:57:32 Wouldn't it be nice if you just said that in the beginning? It's hard to explain. No, but it's hard to explain it. But yeah, I just don't feel it. But you would often say, you'd be like, I hate blacks. That's what I hate. That's what I hate. My bad. You opened that door and today I'm going to... I hate blacks. That's why. That's why.
Starting point is 01:57:48 You open that door and they are going to. Remember? You'd be like, and then they come here, they call it the playa, not the playa. Remember that? There is a black game.
Starting point is 01:57:57 They have like a play on words like that. Anyway. Yeah. Damn, Brad. Did we ruin Burning Man, son? Like, everybody we talked about, they don't want to go. Yep.
Starting point is 01:58:14 Now it's down to, what, 40,000 next year? Miles, there's very little blacks there. So you're like, I said I want to go. I'm not racist. I think they are. Some of them are tall, though. Damn it. What is your outfit going to be next year?
Starting point is 01:58:26 Can I take a guess? Can you move your point? I'm trying to see the show. Your hat is so tall. He just goes to Joanne's and buys all the white fabric. What, dude? You can't do Miles like that. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 01:58:47 He's going to... You know Miles' favorite drug? What? The K. Yo! Yo! Oh, fuck! This is your best friend.
Starting point is 01:59:01 I held his secret that he had chicken pox. I held his secret he had chicken pox I held his secret that he had chicken pox for days weeks he called me three days before he goes
Starting point is 01:59:10 is anyone else there sick I don't care I don't care I held your secret I know you did monkey pox what was I doing
Starting point is 01:59:19 no one had service wait you didn't tell us yeah he called. He goes, yo, is anyone else sick at the studio? And I go, no. And then he texts me the next day. He goes, hey, don't talk about me being sick. It never happened.
Starting point is 01:59:33 I never talked about that. He's a good friend for that. He's a good guy. Good friend to some. Yeah. All right, well, we're stretching this out yeah unless we
Starting point is 01:59:46 what we really should do is fucking take a Tesla pill right now and then reflect on it all over again let's go you guys want some
Starting point is 01:59:55 stop it stop it stop it he's waiting for you to pull it don't do anything let's just end this stop it I'll pull it out right now
Starting point is 02:00:03 stop it end this hold on cause I I'll pull it out right now. Stop it. End this. Hold on, because I kind of want to go to dinner with my wife on a Tesla without her knowing. No, we're done. Hold on.
Starting point is 02:00:14 You are. You are. I'll take the pill right now. I'll take it right now. I'm in a serious dove high on fucking ecstasy, man. But don't do drugs, kids. Don't do drugs.
Starting point is 02:00:28 Whatever you do, don't do drugs. Because they're... Yeah. I can't say they're bad. Do you know what I'm saying? I can't say they're bad. Do them. Don't do them.
Starting point is 02:00:40 But don't do them. You didn't do them. Look what happened to you, you fucking idiot. You fucking loser. the sober one hey it amounts to being 5'6 and sober it did it did it did
Starting point is 02:00:57 it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did
Starting point is 02:00:59 it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did
Starting point is 02:00:59 it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did
Starting point is 02:00:59 it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did
Starting point is 02:01:00 it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did
Starting point is 02:01:00 it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did
Starting point is 02:01:01 it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did
Starting point is 02:01:02 it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did Okay, should we end this podcast? Yeah. I had a pock fall off. Damn it. Oh, come on. Oh, shit. Come on, bro. All right, this has been Flagrant.
Starting point is 02:01:10 Peace.

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