Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Problem-Addict - Flagrant 2 Patreon

Episode Date: April 26, 2019

This week Andrew and Akaash discuss cherry blossoms, Mickey vs Buggs, Nicaragua, Portland’s Dame winner, Luke Walton’s latest scandal, Odell’s tweets, and more. INDULGE!!!...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 cherry blossom with a friend no absolutely not can't cherry blossom ironically yo i'm not gonna lie if we went we would kill it oh can i also keep can i keep it 100 with you cut that whole line sam there's a big long line yeah how you call it express pass or something i just walk right in the exit white people huh these dumb ass white people are just waiting on this long fucking line with strollers kids there's like a thousand japanese women with the sars mask and everything they love these japanese's love cherry blossom so much want it want me to tell you why i figured it out yeah asian people love a useless shit like anything useless as fuck that's like really specific and only around for a little bit of time they love like japanese or all asian all asian anything you like trinkets they're into like
Starting point is 00:00:53 they're like all little mermaid you know ariel how she had that whole like cave things where she put her trinkets you know so much about this fucking movie it's unbelievable what is the last time you watched little mermaid damn yeah Damn, yeah. I got thingamabobs. I don't know. Wait, you don't even know these? My girl... Gizmos and gadgets and many. Get it, you fucking Mexican!
Starting point is 00:01:12 That's cool! Y'all don't know about this? No, my girl loves Disney movies. She rewatched it recently. Oh, New World. That's that one? That's Aladdin. I confuse these bitches, bro.
Starting point is 00:01:26 I mean, listen. Jasmine is just sand Ariel That's all it is Sand Ariel You sand light Ariel is the white version Of Jasmine How do we make Jasmine as white as possible? Put that bitch in the ocean.
Starting point is 00:01:48 No water whatsoever around Jasmine. Imagine how much stank Jasmine's pussy had on it. Right? Nobody talks about that. Why? Because it's hot? It's hot. Probably ain't water everywhere.
Starting point is 00:02:00 Right? She got all them fucking silks on her. Nah, but that shit was a little see-through. Also, this is one of the only bitches that got to walk around the middle east uncovered like that wearing fucking sitting on a rug it's not breathable it's not like the rugs made out of like some like you know nike shit that's an old ass rug bro that's like back in it yo son that's back in the day where that rug is like your beard. This shit is coarse, fam. Real talk? Fuck, yeah, probably.
Starting point is 00:02:31 But Aladdin probably stunk, too. Why you think? Wearing them fucking MC Hammer pants out there. In the heat. Yeah, man, fuck. Yo, thank God you can't smell these cartoons, bro. Bro. Who would smell the worst? It might be Aladdin. smell these cartoons, bro. Bro. Who would smell the worst?
Starting point is 00:02:47 It might be Len. Oh, Ariel, that salmon pussy. This bitch coming right from the water. And you know that my man's probably complaining like, yo, did you wash? And it's like, I just got laid. Like, I still smell like a cod. Yo, I went to Disney World with my girl, and then she wanted to go to the princess thing, and then we were taking pictures.
Starting point is 00:03:05 You wanted to show her someplace she'd never be? Ain't no castles in Secaucus, man. But she wanted to take pictures with Aladdin. And then these people pretending to be. It was so fucking weird. What do you mean? First of all, there's actors hired to be Aladdin at Disney World and they're like
Starting point is 00:03:26 in character the whole time and I'm like fam you a fucking loser you're never gonna make it as an actor you're a fucking Disney mascot and I couldn't hide
Starting point is 00:03:36 my disgust and then we went to go see Ariel next and the bitch kept talking to me and Justine was like the way you looked at her was like you wanted to
Starting point is 00:03:43 punch her in the face she was she was talking in character I couldn't understand this goofy bitch she sounded like she was underwater and i was just like all right like i literally just go okay and then she kept talking but i was like why are you doing this oh fuck and she didn't have the costume it was like a regular she was regular i don't remember what the bitch was wearing. No, I mean, like, at least when, like, the guy is inside the Mickey Mouse. Yeah. He doesn't have to be seen by humans. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:12 I see who you are, bitch. Yeah. But Aladdin is just Aladdin. Yes. I see this motherfucker. Gay as shit, too. He was gay as shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Like, how'd you know? I mean, my man was just, when, like, they took a little, like, they took a little walk and he was just walking mad, wrist out like a waiter with no tray. You know what I mean? Oh, shit. Do you think that's them trying to normalize gay to kids? It might be. I saw mad gay people working for Disney.
Starting point is 00:04:35 Really? Like mad gay people, yeah. Talking. Yeah, I was like, your Target demo ain't going to be into this. What is their Target demo? It's not fucking new york la secret atlanta it's not the gay havens it's not san fran it's motherfucking iowa yeah the rest of florida who goes to disney can you explain disney to me i'm gonna be honest it was dope i thought that she would be horrible and the day we were looking at it's like mad parks and the day we went to that like Magic Kingdom
Starting point is 00:05:05 which is all the movies I was like this is miserable I was like wildly unhappy I didn't even try to hide it from my girl wait a minute Magic Kingdom was the worst?
Starting point is 00:05:12 it's like castles and shit and I'm like I don't give a fuck about this this is embarrassing for me to be here because they don't get to see that regularly you see it as fake so you're not into it
Starting point is 00:05:20 and I also this sounds condescending but I was like oh these people don't like sports so like these are their heroes and they get to go watch that like we watch sports you mean adults and like the adults that were they're like yeah they're like adults who never were in a sports so when they're wearing mickey mouse that's their that's their fucking jersey
Starting point is 00:05:37 yo i really well mickey mouse overrated fam name one thing that he did dog he's the superman of cartoons yeah this motherfucking captain america dog nothing but there you go no powers what does mickey mouse do i don't know like what is he even been in ed and you would know some shit like this is he giggle literally what does he do is he like yeah but what is what is his power like what is he charming like what is that uh the Bugs Bunny shit. Bugs Bunny, hilarious. He's funny.
Starting point is 00:06:06 He's charismatic. What does Mickey Mouse do? Mickey Mouse does everything. What? Does he win? He actually do. He does everything. He's Mickey Mouse.
Starting point is 00:06:14 That's it. No, no, no. I ain't going to accept that, fam. I ain't going to accept that. We're not going to do that. We're not going to do that, bro. We're not going to prop up Mickey motherfucking Mouse. What does Bugs Bunny do?
Starting point is 00:06:23 He's hilarious. He cross dresses. He foils hunters. Motherfucking duck season, rabbit season, duck season. He be foiling hunters, bro. Yo, my man is a foil. Yo, that motherfucker has had a foil, them kids, bro. Like, take him off before
Starting point is 00:06:38 you put in the microwave. I know you're not trying to put Bugs Bunny in the microwave because your whole house is about to burn down. It's that motherfucker full of foils, bro. Hey, preheat the oven to 350. Bugs Bunny coming. Oh, you ready?
Starting point is 00:06:51 You better poke some holes in Bugs Bunny before you throw him in there because it could get too hot. Oh, you got leftover? Put some Bugs Bunny on it. Oh, you going to the cookout and you don't got a plate? You better put some Bugs Barney on it. You better put some Bugs. But keep going. Tell us how lit Bugs is, Akai.
Starting point is 00:07:14 Yo, Bugs, man. My man got, what's that bitch in Space Jam? Little rabbit bitch. Babs. Cute ass Babs. Badass bitch. Babs Bunny.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Lala Bunny. Lala Bunny. Lala? Is that her name? I don't know. I think Bunny. Lala Bunny. Lala Bunny. Lala? Is that her name? I don't know. I think it was Lala. Oh, is it?
Starting point is 00:07:29 Yeah. Bugs pulled her. Who Mickey ever pulled? I thought Babs was the girl. Minnie, his sister, fam. He's fucking his sister. Wait a minute. Minnie's his sister? Mickey and Minnie.
Starting point is 00:07:37 I don't know. Yo, anyway, the point is this Mickey Mouse is mad overrated. He's trash. He doesn't do anything well, and we just like him. He's on the fucking logo. But yet, there's no Bugs Bunny logo like that, though. We got Mickey everywhere. Yeah, there is a Bugs Bunny logo like that.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Playboy. Ah, okay. That's all, folks. I'll wear a That's All Folks shirt. Fuck some bugs. Yo, That's All Folks is a bar. You never said that after nutting? Yo,
Starting point is 00:08:05 my first threesome, I finished, I said, that's all, folks. And they were like, what? And I was like, y'all young enough
Starting point is 00:08:12 to know cartoons? Ah, no! Yo, what's up? This is Akash. That was a preview of our Patreon episode. If you want the full thing go to www.patreon.com slash flagrant to join the illest community on earth unless you're a social justice warrior then you're just gonna ruin the fun

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