Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Professional Come Guzzler w/ Jessa Rhodes

Episode Date: October 15, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, Kaz, and special guest Jessa Rhodes discuss:  the hustle of porn, how to baby bird with your significant other, the best handshake in the world, the Cowboys having a huge L... against the Jets, NBA being weak against China, and much more. INDULGE!!! Want to hear an extra episode a week? Become a Patron! www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up everybody and welcome to Flagrant 2. This episode has been brought to you by Full Sack. Okay, when you find out who our guest is, you're going to completely understand why Full Sack is going to get you the biggest nuts that you've ever busted in your life. Yes, you think I'm joking. No, I'm being 100% serious. Completely natural supplement. It has been tested and has produced 74% on average more cum. That's a real number? 74%. Yes. Okay?
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Starting point is 00:00:56 F-O-L-S-A-C.net. Use the coupon code FLAGRANT2 for a special 20% off. Okay? Do that right now now you go get it now uh before we start the show with our illustrious guests we got some dates coming up right now um you could catch me palm beach uh one night only october 26th then i'll be going out to cali. I'll be in Chico, California the 1st of November. Then the 2nd and 3rd, I'll be in Sacramento. 2nd sold out. 3rd, early show sold out. I think there's a couple tickets left for the late show on the 3rd. Then we're coming back. We'll do the Wall Street Theater in Norwalk, Connecticut on the 14th of November. Then the Wilbur Theater in Boston. 1st show sold out, second show
Starting point is 00:01:46 Got some tickets left, get that And then we're doing Town Hall New York First show sold out, second got a few tickets left Hell yeah Man, we cooking baby, and then we got some more dates at theandrewschultz.com Go check those, Akash November 7th through November 9th I am in San Diego at the American Comedy Club
Starting point is 00:02:02 Come through the next day, Tempe, Arizona I'm at the Improv, November 10th Go to am in San Diego at the American Comedy Club. Come through the next day. Tempe, Arizona, I'm at the Improv. November 10th, go to that. After that, on November 14th, I'm in Hartford at the Funny Bone. And then, Big Desi Energy is getting desi for real. I'm going to be in Mumbai. Oh, hey. December 19th, 20th, and 21st at the Habitat Comedy Club in Mumbai.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Go come through, y'all. Let's do this for real. Yeah, that's it. D'Ussé Palooza dates Atlanta, Georgia. We go into the masquerade November 2nd, 2019. Get your tickets there on d'ussépalooza.com slash tickets. Los Angeles, California.
Starting point is 00:02:36 We're taking over the Palladium on November 8th, 2019. And just announced today, the biggest D'Ussé Palooza ever. I'm not going to be able to say exactly where it is yet, but you will know very soon. December 13th, 2019, Brooklyn, New York. Get your tickets. That's all I'm going to say.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Okay. Okay, let's get the show started. Let's get it. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of Flagrant 2. No easy buckets. Analysis by assholes. Water cooler commentary for your sports needs.
Starting point is 00:03:10 I'm Andrew Schultz. I'm here with Akash Singh. Real life Kaz. We got Alex and Eden on the ones and twos and a very special guest. Special guest. Jessa Rhodes is in the building. Welcome. What do you want to go by?
Starting point is 00:03:21 Porn star? What is the common term? Internet personality? Featured dancer? First off though, you got to call me... What is this new shit? I knew you were going to call me out on that. What is it?
Starting point is 00:03:36 No, not vegan. I prefer the term professional cum guzzler. Professional? Set the tone early. Just come straight out with it Just call it what it is Call it spade a spade No I'll be honest
Starting point is 00:03:47 I don't research videos Before we have guests In the industry come Same So I've only seen One I don't believe you No no no
Starting point is 00:03:57 I've seen two things Right I've seen one Of you I've seen one of you And it was a scene Where like You're in a shower and someone
Starting point is 00:04:06 is kind of like watching you in the shower and then they come in. Do you know what I'm talking about? I know exactly what you're talking about. First of all, that's a little uncomfortable as like, I'm already watching you. There's like a moving camera that makes you feel like a real fucking creep. You're like,
Starting point is 00:04:20 sneakily comes in with that. I was like, dude, this is too much. Let me ask you. We're going to flip this around. You're like, sneakily comes in with that. I was like, dude, this is too much. This is too much. So then he joins. So let me ask you. We're going to flip this around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take control, Tessa. No, I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Okay, so what kind of porn do you guys watch? I'm always curious. There's one. Just one. Just one. And that was one of my questions for you today. Have you met Rick from Backroom Casting? Rick from Backroom Casting?
Starting point is 00:04:43 No, I have not. Why are you acting like You don't know who he is He's a goat I actually don't He's a fucking man I actually don't I'm about to like
Starting point is 00:04:50 Backroomcastinghouse.com For as long as I've known Andrew He's loved this This man Say it This man And his fucking regular penis Dude
Starting point is 00:05:00 This is Rick's dick It is a It is a three quarters Poland spring It is so average-quarters Poland spring. It is so average, but he doesn't- Product placement. I wish we got that Poland spring money. I wish.
Starting point is 00:05:11 Write the check. Write the check. Vein. Oh, yeah, I can draw his dick. I can draw the veins in his dick. I need to get you some more Spank Bank material. No, no, no. I have it all.
Starting point is 00:05:20 I've seen it all, and I went through it. We all got the internet. Yeah. You know, not that. It's the webs. Oh, God. There's porn about this. What year is this? Those train tapes?
Starting point is 00:05:32 If you know the veins on his cock, sir, that's taking it a little too. It's one. It's a big one. It's just one. I think he loves it for a different reason. It forks. Like the Thames River. Oh, dear God.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Thames River. You New York fucker. What is it called? It's the River Thames. Not the Tim's River. Oh, dear God. Tim's River. You New York fucker. It's the River Tim, not the Tim's River. I Americanized it, bro. It's Columbus Day. You New York this, son. You New York this. The River Tim. That's the French one, right? It's the river you take to the Bronx
Starting point is 00:05:58 when you want to go stomp somebody out. The Tim's River. Tell me more. I have a body. I'm trying to figure out where I need to hide it. Okay. So here's the thing. What's the thing, Andrew? Now, your porn, I'm not going to lie,
Starting point is 00:06:11 it's way more elegant than Rick's, right? That's probably why I haven't shot for him. There you go. Standards. Levels, my friend. Levels.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Yours, you are known as a porn star. You are, and I researched, 12-time AVN nominee. Oh. Oh, nominee.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Has it won? Yes, I have. Yes, I did. You did? This year. I've won Best Supporting Actress for X-Fiz, Best Body for Nightmoons. Holy shit, Wikipedia.
Starting point is 00:06:37 I've seen. And actually, actually, actually. You need to do more research. I just added another to the shelf. I just won Adult Feature Entertainer of the Year for the Exotic Dancer Awards as well. Whoa! I might start whacking off now.
Starting point is 00:06:50 Thank you. If that's what it takes, I mean, goddamn. That is award-winning facts, damn it. What's the best supporting actress in a porn job? Son, that was my question as well. What makes you support and not the main? Is it who gets the nut? You know,
Starting point is 00:07:07 usually we like to share. It's a little thing called baby birding, but... Oh, ew. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:07:17 Hold on, hold on. What is baby birding? You know how birds eat food? Yo, okay, tell Rick he's got to step his game up a little bit
Starting point is 00:07:23 if you don't know what baby birding is. I don't know what baby birding is. When a bird... Hold on, why are you telling me when the bird can tell me herself? Spit in my mouth and I'll show him. Hold on, what is it? What is baby birding? It's when one girl catches the cum and then spits it in another girl's mouth. Baby birding.
Starting point is 00:07:42 That really sets you off. That's just like fun. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Wait a minute. So like, we have a divided table, people. Okay, so the girl,
Starting point is 00:07:52 the first girl gets the cum and then the other girl feels left out. Right. So there's like a socialist system. 100%. Where the resources are divided. It's actually more like communism. It is?
Starting point is 00:08:03 That we share everything. Everything equally. Equally, yeah. Oh my God. Dude, porn is really on the next are divided. It's actually more like communism. It is? That we share everything. Everything equally. Equally, yeah. Oh my God. Dude, Porter's really on the next, dude. So who started that? Like Elizabeth Warren? Who?
Starting point is 00:08:13 Oh gosh. She's the president. Oh God. That was not the perfect response. Oh. I was like. No, I'm terrible. You know what?
Starting point is 00:08:20 That's what I needed. To be honest, I haven't. That's my time as an adult star. She's catching them. No, you know what? To be honest, I haven't. That's my time as an adult star. She's catching them. No, you know what?
Starting point is 00:08:27 The one thing I haven't kept up with lately is politics because it honestly just makes me fucking depressed. And my brain already goes to a very dark place. I have to take shrooms to deal with like addiction and trauma and like. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. You microdose? I microdose, but I also do like once a month.
Starting point is 00:08:44 I've done like ayahuasca and like I only fuck with plant medicine but mostly I just I really hate watching the news so yeah things like that like I know what's going on in China right now and things like that but I'm not like I don't know I don't know like politicians by name necessarily so most of the NBA exactly so excuse me for not knowing who Elizabeth Warren is but I will make sure to Google that. Back to this. So, okay.
Starting point is 00:09:06 So this has been decided and don't get me wrong. You're porn next level. Cameras are way better. There's actual cameramen that are holding the thing. Rick has tripods and he holds his own. Yeah. But your work actually employs people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:20 You're helping the economy, right? There you go. Here, I'm going to move that a little bit closer. No, this moves to you if you want. Okay. So here's, right? There you go. I'm going to move that a little bit closer. No, this moves to you if you want. Okay, so here's the thing. I have to admit, what Rick has, authenticity, man. Right. He has this authenticity that draws you in, and I'm going to be honest with you, 100%.
Starting point is 00:09:42 It's like the Joaquin Phoenix Joker point. He is Joaquin, bro. Dude, I... He's Joaquin. Don't ruin it for me. I really want to see that. It's so believable. Like, even, like,
Starting point is 00:09:54 for example, if I saw you in a Rick porn, I wouldn't believe it. No. You're too attractive. He has a level of girl that is like, it fluctuates from like
Starting point is 00:10:03 six to like almost eight if you went into a bar and you tried you know that you'd probably make it oh more than that wait for it every girl who's ever shopped for bricks is like they need the money they need it
Starting point is 00:10:18 I get what's going on he gets off on the desperation he can smell it. I mean, he can smell it. I call it authenticity. You call it desperation.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Feed me, baby bird. Feed me. Oh, you sick son of a bitch. Do you like it when they cry a little bit too? Because that's totally my thing. When they like get emotionally crying?
Starting point is 00:10:41 Oh, yeah. Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Go on that. There's like crying I'm just kidding I'm not that sick come on guys
Starting point is 00:10:48 like I wouldn't judge I'm just yeah dude that's the best move are you kidding just a little bit right here to get to
Starting point is 00:10:54 he wants authenticity there's nothing more authentic than human emotion authentic no but I will say though like I get where you're coming from from my website which I just bought back
Starting point is 00:11:03 and we're gutting it right now and like putting a bunch of cool stuff on it I want to start shooting more POV more um like regular stuff that people can like relate to like the glamour porn's cool and stuff but people typically like one jerking off to POV and to you know that the the scenario that's like realistic I I watch something yeah too glossy I watch something because I was we get reached out you know if I have people in your field and I'll be I don't like that. Watch something. Because we get reached out by people in your field. And I'll be honest with you, not every person I want to talk to. Because I don't know if every person has an interesting story.
Starting point is 00:11:31 You know about us from Lisa. Oh, shout out Lisa. Lisa, the best. The big homie. I'm watching through your Instagram. I'm doing a little Instagram research. And there's two things that came to mind. There was one thing that I thought was funny.
Starting point is 00:11:46 It was like a bet you had with some guy. The furry? What was it? It was a panda head. Something like, and if like he won, then he had to do what? Yeah, so basically one of my friends and I, we were filming some content and we found this panda
Starting point is 00:12:01 head in his house and we were like, oh, well, instead of doing something boring, like let's do some fun like game type things. So we played ping pong and I don't remember exactly how it worked, but basically I lost and then I had to fuck him with the panda head or like blow him or something like that. And if I won, he was going to have to give me an hour foot rub. So we like to keep it interesting. I was invested. Those levels are.
Starting point is 00:12:20 But listen, it was back to like the authenticity thing. It was like, wait a minute. Like, okay, that's her friend. Maybe they have this cool kind of sexual relationship, but back to the authenticity thing. It was like, wait a minute. Okay, that's her friend. Maybe they have this cool kind of sexual relationship. But this is a real thing. There's no guy with handing a paycheck to someone at the end. I'm kind of invested. You guys are having fun with sex.
Starting point is 00:12:35 And I thought it was a little bit different. So I was like, oh, this girl's maybe thinking about content in her field differently than the people in her field. So we could have a fun combo. But then it turned into Baby Bird. Baby Bird. No, I've also done like, I had two of my guy friends come over and they're both performers
Starting point is 00:12:53 and we were sitting there playing Mario Kart and I was like, guys, you want to choose something? And they're like, well, of course. So I'm like, all right. But they're not in the business. No, they are. Okay. They are.
Starting point is 00:13:02 But we were all like, hey, we're sitting here playing video games. You're all here. If I lose, y'all get to tag team me. Let's go. Hold on. You're going to have to come in
Starting point is 00:13:10 because I don't want to say you're not. When you say there it is. I'm a little bit closer. Oh, tag team? No, no. I did not mean it that way. I apologize.
Starting point is 00:13:21 Hashtag me too. Can y'all do that? I was about to say Why is that? How does that work? It's probably a category It's more like a Me too
Starting point is 00:13:31 There you go Seriously That's a new tab I was looking for Me too board Me too board Oh That's bad
Starting point is 00:13:39 Yes Me too board Somebody out there I'm taking notes Yeah Yeah Don't worry It's recorded I've won 10% That's all I need Me too. That sounds good. You know, somebody out there. I'm taking notes. Yeah, yeah, please. Listen,
Starting point is 00:13:47 I've won 10%. That's all I need. It's also not that long of a note, to be honest. Better is she in? Better is she in the print? Is that better?
Starting point is 00:13:55 Okay, cool. Okay, so back, continue. So you have these two guys that are, are they casuals?
Starting point is 00:13:59 Can we call them casuals or non-industry folk? No, no, they're not civilians. That's what we call them. Civilians. No,
Starting point is 00:14:04 no, no. So their names are actually Ryan McClain and Lucas Frost no, no. They're not civilians. That's what we call them. Civilians. No, no, no. So their names are actually Ryan McClain and Lucas Frost. So they're adult performers. Got it. But yeah, Lucas was actually my neighbor and then Ryan was just crashing at my house
Starting point is 00:14:13 so we were like, oh, we're going to play video games and I needed something for my Snapchat. So we ended up doing like a, like we try to draw them in on the public Snapchat and then we'll do like, oh, like this is what we're doing.
Starting point is 00:14:22 If I win, if they lose, blah, blah, blah. And then you get to see the answer by signing up to my private snapchat and this snapchat hustle i've seen a lot of people do is this the majority you okay i'm already breaking things that's all right um is this the much that's the gif 100 is is is this the major money maker for porn stars now honestly yeah like it's
Starting point is 00:14:49 I'm it's frustrating because we don't you know because there's no middleman I'm assuming well no there's it's not that there's no middleman
Starting point is 00:14:55 it's that like now because of social media and because of the constant like people's attention spans are so short you have to constantly stay relevant so it's a 24-7 job
Starting point is 00:15:03 which is fine because we also have the ability now with snapchat with only fans with your website with all this stuff to constantly make that money um and have that fan interaction and stuff but uh you know whereas girls back in the day it was just like oh you had a shoot it came out on vhs blah blah blah but i'm being but like those girls like the ones that are trying to make a comeback it's very very hard for them to understand kind of the way that it works now. But it's a hustle.
Starting point is 00:15:28 It's a constant hustle. Do you know who Sylvia Sage is? Yes! Yeah, yeah, she's dope. She was great. I didn't shoot with her, but I was on a set with her. She's really cool. As part of the same thing.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Cool girl. She was great. She cut the different eyes, right? Yes! Yes! Oh, God! So cute. Oh, my God my god so we had her here and she said something interesting she said and she said that 80 percent of porn star income comes
Starting point is 00:15:54 from escorting you know what i wouldn't say 80 but it's funny we were actually just talking about this on bartstool um i'm very open about like my past and things like that we any girl in the industry who says she hasn't been an escort she's fucking lying right i don't care about it like at the end of the day sex for money i'm sorry though like it's true I have to ask you. You got some things you want to admit? I was about to say, I'm curious. You were about to describe baby Bernie Cash. I'll take him from here. I have to ask him. All right, go ahead. I'm assuming you've been on the receiving end.
Starting point is 00:16:55 I'm just saying. He's like, uh, you know. I know a lot of people. I know many well-paying patrons. I know people who partake in those. The escorting services. In the services, giving and receiving. The more I hear about it,
Starting point is 00:17:12 I haven't met an adult film star who said that they haven't done it. They do say Kaz has a lot of jobs. A man of many talents. They do say that. You were saying, a man of many talents they do say that they do say that they do say that ah Susan did that okay so
Starting point is 00:17:27 you were saying so in your past there's been times where it's presented yeah well no I mean like I'm very and I
Starting point is 00:17:33 it's funny because my boyfriend wouldn't appreciate me talking like this but he's not here so it's fine we call it how it is when girls are like
Starting point is 00:17:40 I'm a dancer I'm like honey you're a stripper I was a hooker at one point cool I was a very high paid hooker but that's fine.
Starting point is 00:17:45 In Portland or in LA? In LA. In New York as well. So you moved from Portland to LA? Yes. Okay. This is something that's quite interesting that you could shed some light on.
Starting point is 00:17:54 I heard Portland has more strip clubs than any other place in the world. I just heard that when I was in Portland. It's Portland and Tampa, right? Or something like that? Tampa's wild, but Portland's different. Portland has like, what? El Diablo or something called. I'm like, wait, right? Or something like that? Tampa's wild, but Portland's different. Portland has like, what? El Diablo or something called.
Starting point is 00:18:08 I'm like, wait, what? No, I'm just interested. Well, actually, you know what? I'm not surprised in the slightest. It is Portland. Right. Let's be real. Portlandia is so spot on.
Starting point is 00:18:17 For Portland. They're like, can we meet the chicken? Yeah, no, it's bad. I love my home state. Don't get me wrong. I think it's awesome. But no, it's definitely, there's like, my home state don't get me wrong i think it's awesome but no it's it's definitely there's like dude i want to say for every block there's like four clubs really yeah it's ridiculous why i have no idea i don't know why they need that many honestly and there's like there's honestly there's way too many girls at each one. Like, it's not... And you started there? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:45 So you start dancing there. 17 is what your Wikipedia... Oh, 16. I moved out when I was 15, 16. Started dancing at 16, yeah. Really? Yeah. Now, you're still cool with your folks, though.
Starting point is 00:18:55 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Another thing I saw on your Instagram. You guys in a bonfire. Those are the two things. Well, I was on shrooms, yeah. You were shrooming with your folks? My parents... So my parents are super conservative Christian
Starting point is 00:19:05 okay but they're very no but you know what like they're very my family's been through a lot I'm the youngest of seven they're very yeah
Starting point is 00:19:14 I was actually I was born at home when I was born like my mom was like they just pushed you out yeah it was like she was cooking dinner and it just
Starting point is 00:19:21 she was like bag it tag it send it off you know but basically like they, they're, they're at a point now where like they, I don't know. They'd rather have a relationship with their kids than,
Starting point is 00:19:32 than not. So there's definitely things like they've accepted me being in the porn industry. They've met my ex fiance who was 20 years older than me. They've seen me go through hell and back and blah, blah, blah. And basically what's,
Starting point is 00:19:41 what's important to them now is that I'm sober. I'm in a good place to take care of myself and you know it is what it is. This seems like the most Christian thing you could do. Right. Forgiveness acceptance. But when I explain to them my reasoning behind doing ayahuasca and messing with plant medicine and the fact that it has taken
Starting point is 00:19:57 me away from like I have no triggers anymore, I have no addictions anymore. It's been really really rewarding and just the level of gratitude and stuff that you feel like every single time you do like i used to fuck with acid but it's just not the same thing yeah that shit is you got to be careful with those those like plants only um but yeah it was really it was actually a really really cool experience like i asked my mom if if i could do it at the house um because i do it as like a meditative thing um it's a whole thing i got my sage i got my music i got my blankie you know um but i was
Starting point is 00:20:25 like hey like do you want to hang out with me and she was like yeah of course i was like you know but no i'm gonna cry i might throw up i might talk to your plants i don't know i don't know what's gonna happen like did you see the demons and like fight them in the no no i've read about that like wait no ayahuasca you were doing this no no i did ayahuasca back in february but no what what you were talking about was uh the thing you saw on my Instagram was when we were doing the bonfire in the backyard. Yeah. Like my parents basically sat with me and hung out and like. I didn't know you were high.
Starting point is 00:20:49 I thought you were just having family time. And I was like, I need to meet this porn star. No, no, no, no. No, it was cool. At one point I was like helping my mom trim the bushes and she had pulled the scissors out and I started tripping it like, you know, because they come in and out like the visuals. And I was like, whoa, like you're moving those scissors really fast. Like calm down. It was just funny.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Like it was a really good bonding experience with them so okay so everything so you have this big rough patch in your life and now shit seems to be going pretty well it's going really well you know does that scare you at all no if you change the perspective you change the narrative you know like it's I've definitely uh it's a bar yeah sometimes like we get comfortable in chaos and then comfort at least at least for me i i kind of find comfort in chaos and then when things start going well and everything's working out there's only one place it can go right so that becomes even more fearful right but that's that's that's the fear-based thing you know i mean at the end of the day like if you can we're all in
Starting point is 00:21:40 control of everything like i've i don't know it's once you pull yourself out of a victim mentality and like tell yourself that like, like I feel like every morning doing your affirmations is really important. Verbalizing things, writing things down. Um, manifesting is a very real thing. Um,
Starting point is 00:21:55 but that's why I feel like it's also very careful. You have to be very careful what you put out into the universe. You know, like I have a friend, she's always like, Oh, I'm such a stupid bitch. And I'm like,
Starting point is 00:22:02 call yourself a stupid bitch. You'll be a stupid bitch. You know, like just things like that. So i feel like for so many years because i was a victim of sexual abuse or um different kinds of abuse or this or that or whatever my struggle became my identity and that was something that i i struggled with drugs and alcohol for a very long time and i struggled with letting other people sexually abuse me over the years um because i was just like well, this is what happens to me
Starting point is 00:22:25 or this is like how it is. And I'm a pretty rational person. So one day I woke up and I was just like, hmm, interesting, you're fucking up your entire life because you're upset about something that someone else did to you instead of, you know, so I finally just pulled myself out of the victim mentality and said enough was enough and that I deserve better
Starting point is 00:22:43 and blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's not that simple. I struggled with sobriety for years. Did you, is it frustrating that when people first see you, they probably assume that nothing bad has ever happened to you in your life based on the way that your face looks, you in your life based on the way that your face looks. Right? Literally, you see you're laughing, you're having fun,
Starting point is 00:23:09 and it's just like, oh, this girl hasn't struggled. And then if you have, I'm sure the assumption is like, oh, she doesn't like her dad or some shit like that. No, definitely. There's a huge assumption. But you've got some shit, it seems like. Yeah, I could write a book. But you know what? This is seems like. Yeah, I could write a book.
Starting point is 00:23:26 But you know what? This is the thing. Yo, that laugh right there contained a lot. He could have been Joker. Yeah, that laugh right there. Oh, fuck me. Dude, that one. I could write a book that shit dude
Starting point is 00:23:48 you know what though at the end of the day yeah it's weird because even like the dude that I just started dating like we were talking about it he's struggled a lot
Starting point is 00:23:55 with some things that have happened to him and he's a very positive very well functioning member of society and you wouldn't think by looking at him or his job
Starting point is 00:24:02 or his life that he has struggled in the way that he has same thing for me because I'm a very positive happy person now but i mean i feel like that's kind of what i mean okay you're all comedians right you've had some dark times you've learned to laugh about things find the humor in it that's what makes you akash and i have talked about this for a long time akash i think says it really beautifully he's like this is a defense mechanism
Starting point is 00:24:25 that we build up this is not like we're doing this because we want to have even more fun right there's something happening right
Starting point is 00:24:32 and we need to build up defense for it we need to build up a coping mechanism for it you know so we learned how to I guess laugh and like make fun
Starting point is 00:24:39 of these troubling times you know and you learned how to baby bird feed yes I did for me now though like it's funny because like like i said the guy i'm dating like i'll laugh about certain things and he's like babe it's just strange that you can laugh about that and um i was like you know
Starting point is 00:24:53 honestly i'm laughing about it because i took something from those experiences and i learned the lesson and now i can be like oh well that's not gonna happen again or i learned the lesson from that so something good still came out of it and i still came out okay so i, that's not going to happen again. Or I learned the lesson from that. So something good still came out of it. And I still came out okay. So I guess that's kind of why. Like for me, it used to be a defense mechanism, but now it's actually a place where I'm like, ha, look at how great my life is now. Fuck, look where I've been.
Starting point is 00:25:14 What was the toughest part? I think the hardest thing that I've struggled with my entire life was suicide and depression. And because you, like, when you can truly hate yourself to want to take your own life, that's a, that's a very dark place to go.
Starting point is 00:25:31 And it's, it's something I started, I struggled with at a very young age. I started cutting at like 12 and kind of just struggled up until recently. But when you've hated yourself that much and then you learn to love yourself just as much equally, like that's a really, really cool experience. a really cool the cutting thing what is i've seen this before and i've read a little bit about it is it a control thing is it what is what does it
Starting point is 00:25:56 provide um it's a i mean it's it's kind of like to each their own for me it was one of those things that like i would do if i felt nothing i would. I would do it if I felt too much. I would do it just because it releases endorphins in your brain and it makes you think about something else. You get high off of it. I mean, yeah, there's multiple reasons. Wow. There's a thing I've noticed with a lot of people in entertainment, right? And it's like outside of past or or whatever but there's an extreme
Starting point is 00:26:27 sensitivity that i've noticed you know and i think oftentimes with with all of us the assumption is that nothing affects us you know like we on this show will like say the meanest fucking jokes about each other all day right and maybe it's because we have a camaraderie etc that we can build up but i would be lying if i didn't think if i said that I wasn't a very sensitive person, like in terms of how I feel the world, you know, I think that is like the root to a lot of the suffering. You know, because sometimes when you really feel shit and you don't have a coping mechanism for feeling, then you start thinking about what is it? Is it drugs? Is it is it drugs is it acting out is it how do i handle this this anxiety i don't know how to talk to my friends or family because they don't feel shit in the way i feel and it becomes like you know i feel like at least
Starting point is 00:27:15 if for myself i'm like really fucking lucky i could just like word vomit on my parents or you know or like go on stage and make make that but that's not an outlet yeah you need some fun i can't bottle there's also a sense of validation too i think a lot of people who get in entertainment because we do feel a lot and i think that we're our own we're our own worst critics we need that validation from our audience we need that you know even though in this show like like when i was at my worst like the the best thing that i could have done was come here and just like talk about shit and just like having I could have done was come here and just talk about shit and just having people that listen to it
Starting point is 00:27:47 come back and be like, yeah, I've been there before. Just any sort of validation where you don't feel like you're all by yourself when you're suffering the most. Because that's the worst thing about it. No matter how bad you can feel, the worst feeling is feeling like
Starting point is 00:28:00 you're the only one going through it. The sheer idea of seeking fame is I want other people to admire me because I don't feel it myself yet. So maybe if I can get you guys to do it, I'll believe it myself. I don't think it's possible to want to be famous and not have some
Starting point is 00:28:16 kind of void you're trying to fill. Yes. And it's interesting because we will often look at, there'll be certain comics who actually don't seek fame or certain people in entertainment who don't want to be famous. And I think a lot of people in entertainment look at them like, well, what's wrong with them?
Starting point is 00:28:28 Do they not want it enough? I do, yeah. But in a lot of ways, it's like they don't need it. They actually won. Yeah. Right? Because nobody has achieved fame
Starting point is 00:28:37 and been like, all right, I got it. Got what I'm looking for. There's always another level to go. It's always a fucking letdown. It's like if you become the most famous porn star, you're like, well, I'm not for it's always another level to get out it's always a fucking let down it's like if you become the most famous porn star
Starting point is 00:28:47 you're like well I'm not the most famous actress you become the most famous actress you're like well I'm not the most famous politician you're not the highest paid I'm not the highest
Starting point is 00:28:53 there's always something else I mean that's what drives you that's what drives you in anything whether you're an athlete or you're a comedian porn star whatever like the form of like
Starting point is 00:29:01 when a lot of your justification comes from people validating you, there's never enough. Greatness comes from the void. It's hard to have greatness without that void. Michael Jordan is the unhappiest motherfucker. Michael Jordan is a miserable motherfucker because there's always something else he feels like he needs to prove to somebody. Christopher Columbus. What?
Starting point is 00:29:23 I must have been miserable, bro, to just get on a boat and go the other way. Christopher Columbus. Well, what? We're just throwing out the idea. I must have been miserable, bro, to just get on a boat and go the other way. He's like, fuck it, this is America. You know how fucking bad it must have been? How horribly depressed he must have been? Yo, we made it to India. Sailing that way. He's like, nah. This is India, bro.
Starting point is 00:29:39 We going that way. We gonna find these Indians, bro. Oh, man. Because it's Columbus Day, by the way, for everybody listening. Is it these Indians, bro. It's Columbus Day, by the way. For everybody listening, we're recording. It is. Today's Columbus Day. You haven't been on Twitter and seen white people I don't. I don't. No.
Starting point is 00:29:54 I can tell by the street fair downstairs. I'm like, oh, people are at work today. Is that what he said? I was going to say, I was like, yo, because my Uber had to go like, and then I had to finally walk, and I was about to text you and be like, yo, Andrew, thanks for being a dickhead and not telling me. And all the streets were shut down. I've been told you, yo.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Alex told me. I'm fucked up. That's all me. We worked on Wall Street and like everybody, nobody's working today. So it's just whatever. But yeah, so yeah, that Columbus, I was having some thoughts. I was ruminating on Columbus on the Uber drive here. And my takeaway for Columbus is that not a fan of the actions,
Starting point is 00:30:29 but fan of the results. Yo, that's solid. We got America. Context, context. Meaning, we got America. We got Latin women. Like, there's so many things that we would never have. We got Alex.
Starting point is 00:30:43 Alex, you are Puerto Rican. You are a direct descendant of what Christopher Columbus did. Right? Wow. Like, before Christopher Columbus, it was just Ed and looking people on Puerto Rico. Okay, Alex. Look at the step up, yo. Hey, assholes.
Starting point is 00:31:01 The audio cut off suspiciously right when Akash was joking on Ed And not pointing any fingers But no worries You didn't miss a thing Now back to the show You were saying When you pull up A little bit more So you get in front
Starting point is 00:31:13 There we go There we go Hi hi No I was saying The best handshake In the world Which I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:31:18 We got cut off On the Columbus thing Oh yeah we did We did And then we got on Fan of the results Not fan of the results Fan of the results
Starting point is 00:31:23 Not the actual The Michael Jackson thing Like Joe Jackson Was horrible dad But then ended up Roy Jones Jr. Horrible. And then we got on to... Fan of the results, not fan of the... Fan of the results, not the Michael Jackson thing. Like, Joe Jackson was horrible dad, but then ended up Roy Jones Jr., horrible dad, but then we get Roy Jones Jr. So, we're not a fan of the father. Horrible dad, then we get Lindsay Lohan. Nah. Lindsay!
Starting point is 00:31:37 Lindsay! Let's not watch that train wreck. Lindsay Shane. Nah, I want the Lindsay Shane. I'm here for it, yo. We want to be. Oh, God. Incredible here for it, yo. We want a B. Oh, God. Incredible.
Starting point is 00:31:48 All right, Jessa, we're going to take a break for a second. We got to pay some bills. Now, guys, remember the days. Do you guys remember the days when your underwear was all stretched out, trash, dick falling down the leg, maybe falling out the hole in the beginning. Rough problems. Rough problems.
Starting point is 00:32:08 There's a lot of terrible underwear out there. Horrible underwear out there. How do we solve this? How? Mack Weldon. And it's not only underwear. It's just men's essentials, dude. Everything that you need,
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Starting point is 00:32:44 Oh, and I need that. I've never taken off a pair of underwear without shit on it. Every single time. Every single time, dude. Every single time I have it. Can't go white. And I have a bad habit of scratching my ass. I have a very chafed ass, but we don't have to get into that.
Starting point is 00:33:00 I think I can benefit from this antimicrobial situation at Mack Weldon. Anyway, not only does Mack Weldon's underwear, socks, shirts look good, they perform well too. I personally love them. I personally wear them. All right. You guys want to get 20% off your Mack Weldon order. It's very simple. You just use the promo code flagrant and you'll get that. That's MackWeldon.com. M-A-C-K-W-E-L-D-O-N.com. Promo code flagrant for 20% off. Now let's get back to the show. Okay, but go on.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Oh, no. I was just going to say, you want to talk about like, you know, you said you like to do this kind of handshake. So I could dab. Yeah. Okay. What's it called? Dab? Dab.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Okay. Okay. But I'm going to share with you. You're going to like this one. Okay. Go like this. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:33:41 Okay. Milk it. Okay. All right. What is that? I don't know but milking the You're the only person I can get away with that. Yo, this is good one right here, yo. No, no. This is good, yo. Try that. Try that, fellas. You know how fucked up I was?
Starting point is 00:34:08 I was about to reach over. Yo, yo. The more I thought about it, I was like, this is fucking... I also agree that's a good answer. Kaz is just...
Starting point is 00:34:21 He's in agreeance with a lot of things today. I love it. I love it. I can find the positive in anything Woo Shit That's what I was saying with Columbus Day Michael Jackson
Starting point is 00:34:35 If we're being real Joe didn't just give us Mike Joe gave us Mike Jackson 5 Father of the year Father of the century Not for his family All he had to do
Starting point is 00:34:50 Was just not pull out That's great And like you know He was probably Beat him up a little bit Yeah he's beat him up Jesus Christ Even Janet
Starting point is 00:34:57 And the moms I don't know I assume And Miss Jackson There was more than one mom Sorry Miss Jackson There was one mom What That's something he never said That's true That's true There was more than one mom? Sorry, Mr. Jackson. There was one mom.
Starting point is 00:35:07 That's something he never said. That's true. That's true. Oh, man. But yeah, no. Now he whooped their ass. He whooped their ass to success, though. That's right.
Starting point is 00:35:15 So there is some sort of success in touching little boys. Trials and tribulations, they often lend you to great success. Here you are, went through some serious
Starting point is 00:35:24 trials and tribulations. I'm going to bring this down so it doesn't block your face. Right? We want people to see your face. And now you're having this success. You're having this positive time in your life. That's good. You have a boyfriend.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Things are going well. How's that like? How'd y'all meet? Instagram. Like we all meet. Son, slide into the DMs. Slide into the DMs. That is the greatest.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Wow, you're going to get a lot of followers today. That's the greatest move. All I get in my DMs is like. Did you see the DM? I want to see the DM. The first DM. Away from him? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:59 Is he blue check? Is he blue check or not? No. See, this is why instagram doesn't do any commercials this is all you need to do right i have dated celebrities i've dated guys in the industry i've dated civilians i've dated but like i personally don't like dating people who have i don't know it's just people of fame yeah it's just it's an emotional yeah like not into it yeah no he's a he's a boxer personal trainer for like the giants c not into it yeah no he's a he's a boxer
Starting point is 00:36:25 personal trainer for like the Giants Cindy Crawford people like that like he's very good at what he does he's a Hulk coach so it's nice
Starting point is 00:36:31 and he is so confident that he can allow other people to have you know what's harder it's not the sex as much as the blowjobs that would really fucking bother me
Starting point is 00:36:42 I really hope he doesn't hear this yo let me tell you something now you're gonna have him thinking stop it all three of our That would really fucking bother me. I really hope he doesn't hear this. Yo. Let me tell you something. Now you're going to have him thinking, stop it. All three of our girlfriends are listening. All listening. That's all.
Starting point is 00:36:53 I'm like, uh. Let me tell you. Hi, girls. We've been doing good behavior, haven't we? Baby, notice I didn't high five this bitch. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. She put her right here. Oh, two weeks after Sylvia came here. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:37:14 I was like, I didn't get milked. You don't disrespect the cows like that, bro. You ain't the only vegan over here. Now you're calling her a heifer? No, he's Indian. They love cows. Let me ask you something. I just got out the dog house with his girl, I would never. I'm on best mate.
Starting point is 00:37:32 I almost wanted to invite you to the wedding. Yeah. Now I'm good. I'm a groomsman. Oh, shit. Hold on, hold on. There you go, guys. That was a little wild. that was some sword fighting that was some docking shit
Starting point is 00:38:03 what'd you call it? Docking What is docking? Well I guess you wouldn't know If you're straight But docking is when The guys put like their Like if one of them's circumcised
Starting point is 00:38:14 And one's not They put their What the fuck Yeah I just fucked your world up Holy shit Yeah it's gross Y'all have done too much in porn! Just get back to the basics!
Starting point is 00:38:28 I don't have a dick! I need San Antonio Spurs porn! I don't need this fancy West Coast offense with that dick lodging inside of other dicks! This is crazy! What is this shit? I got Lincoln together like the fucking Megazords and Power Rangers.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Can you explain snowballing to them? No. Snowballing? What's snowballing? Oh, so now I'm the... Okay, edit, we're curious. What's snowballing? What's snowballing?
Starting point is 00:38:53 I've personally never done this. Snowballing is what his family would talk about before they came to America. Apparently. But it's when you nut in a girl's mouth and then they spit it
Starting point is 00:39:01 right back in your mouth. Oh, and then you guys kiss. Yes, yes, I've heard about that. Huh. And I've heard of Blumpkin. Oh, see, I know what Blumpkin is. Oh, now we have limits? What's going on? Now you're judging me. I'm sorry, but anything involving defecation,
Starting point is 00:39:13 I'm out. Okay. Blumpkin is you're taking a shit and then you get hit. Which is also called the best ever. That's also what it's called. It's gross for you. But for, it's like, this is the thing about like. It's gross for you. Yeah. But for, it's like, this is the thing about like,
Starting point is 00:39:28 It's the ultimate release. No, no, it's like this, it's like this, it's like, it like, for example, like,
Starting point is 00:39:32 you know, like hooking up with like sisters, right? Yeah. That's incest just for them. Right. That's not incest for me. That's on y'all.
Starting point is 00:39:41 It's like y'all are gross. Y'all should handle that with y'all. I'm normal. If you're purely theoretical about this, you know how you're on your phone and you take a shit cause you're like oh this is kinda fun you know what's way more fun
Starting point is 00:39:49 getting a dick suck yo yeah real talk y'all are wild wait you never got your pussy while you took a shit no
Starting point is 00:39:57 I usually use that time to like honestly that's too far you know that's what I'm saying like there's limits oh now we have limits okay gross yo yo you right let me jerk off Honestly, that's too far. That's what I'm saying. There's limits. Oh, now we have limits.
Starting point is 00:40:06 Okay. Gross, yo. Yo, you're right. Let me jerk off your thumb. Yeah, why? Is it because it's too close? Stop that. I'm saying, goddammit. I'll jerk off your thumb.
Starting point is 00:40:13 That's on me, bro. No, no, I got to get a punishment. Oh, my God. I need a punishment for that one. I'm too tired for this shit. That's shit out, man. Goddammit. I can't.
Starting point is 00:40:22 I can't. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Why did we get to this? You brought up. What? No. Look at't. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Why did we get to this? You brought up... What? No. No, no. No, you brought up the docking.
Starting point is 00:40:30 She was talking about her boyfriend. Oh, docking. Oh, your boyfriend, yes. Okay, so your boyfriend. Your boyfriend is docking. No, your boyfriend is so comfortable. You better get up on this table. You better get up on this table.
Starting point is 00:40:44 Jessa. You about to cause some problems in paradise. You about to cause some problems in paradise. What is happening? Oh, God. Okay. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:40:57 All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:40:58 All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:40:59 All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:40:59 All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:41:00 All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:41:00 All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:41:00 All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:41:01 All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:41:04 All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. all right Why? So I stood on a single. Because I'm about to be single. I gave up the slowest move. I was just like, whatever. It's too late. It's too late. Oh, incredible. Oh, God. So he's so comfortable.
Starting point is 00:41:13 I'm laughing so hard, I think I actually pinched a nerve. Yes, dude. It hurts so much. So confident he's willing to put up with that other stuff. Or do you, now do you have that same relationship with him can he do other stuff yeah well i told him that that was the case like when i mean like i said this is all still brand new like we've been talking for a little bit but like we just started dating so i mean i told him i was like i'm all about equality so if i'm doing
Starting point is 00:41:41 it you should be able to do it too but he said that that's just not how he is and that's not how he feels so that's I like that personally but no we've come up with a plan and
Starting point is 00:41:51 I mean there's certain scenes obviously that I will and will not shoot out of respect like I'm not gonna do gang bangs or anything like that you know like
Starting point is 00:41:58 I don't want to shoot scenes where like he's would see me being disrespected by any means so you have to be kind of in control yeah that's a popular category.
Starting point is 00:42:07 Listen, that's what half-o-pass gets off on. Not as good a respectable porn, man. But no, on a serious note, though, he actually really is that confident, and he's very understanding. So I'm very, very lucky to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't ask me to change everything
Starting point is 00:42:25 about myself one of my good friends used to date an adult film star and I used to ask him like yo how do you deal with that and one time
Starting point is 00:42:33 he was like yo one time she just FaceTimed me while it was on location and she didn't realize just how much of a job it really is it's not sex
Starting point is 00:42:41 at all it's literally like watching fucking there's a guy on a megaphone. There's like a million people with lighting and all that shit. It's just,
Starting point is 00:42:49 it doesn't, it's not intimate. It's not sex. We go in, we fill out our paperwork, we shoot the scene and then we high five and we go home.
Starting point is 00:42:55 Like it's very. It's very industrial. Yeah. It's very professional unless you're shooting for Rick. You know, it's very professional. Oh, yeah. And I mean, you're going to look him up. You have to now. At this point. You you're gonna look him up you have to now
Starting point is 00:43:08 this boy you're gonna look him up dude I give that guy so much for his promo the whole vein thing kind of freaks me out a little bit is it like an anger
Starting point is 00:43:19 like when I laugh too hard or if I get drugged like the anger that pops out I'm like I don't want to see my face in a guy's pops, I'm like, I don't want to see my face in a guy's dick, you know what I mean? I don't want that reflection image.
Starting point is 00:43:29 I'm like, nah. It's funny, I do want to see your face in a guy's dick. That's what we're paying for. I set myself up for that one. Anybody? Anybody? Anybody? No! No, Jessa!
Starting point is 00:43:43 No, you're going to get me in trouble. We're going to just... We're going to do the rest of the interview. I think we need to talk to your boyfriend one of these days and just hear that perspective. Call him up. Is he comfortable with this? Call him up.
Starting point is 00:43:55 Oh, my God. Call him up. Oh, my gosh. Just put him on speaker. Quick conversation. Okay, hold on. You better answer on the first ring, too. I'm still curious about the theme.
Starting point is 00:44:06 Ask him first. Don't ruin the fun of a courtesy text. Just call him up. Just call him up. Let's be honest. One thing we know about this guy, he's forgiving. Dollar too much. Hold on. Let me ask him first.
Starting point is 00:44:24 You know what sucks? I have to put my phone on speaker because it's broken. You can't just regular phone it? No. Oh, that's wild. Oh, God. Come on, son. Come on.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Hey, baby. Hey, baby. I have a question. Am I live? Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:45 Oh, fuck. Fucking fumbled it. Hello. Hello. We won't say your name. Oh, can we say his name? Yeah, that's fine. Eric, we cool using your name, Eric?
Starting point is 00:44:53 Sure, sure. Keep it on the first name basis. Almond Eyes 59. I love him already. Okay. All right, Eric. Okay, so we want to call you because the three of us are all in relationships okay we we need to understand where this is not easy my man okay i heard the
Starting point is 00:45:14 struggle no no in his voice i heard it talk to us around the feet like it's not easy my man we need to know okay because i'll be getting upset when my girl mentions guys that she's been with before me. Say again? I get upset when my girl mentions guys that she's been with before me. Yeah. You know, like in high school. I'll be like, why'd you need to do that? My girl not allowed to laugh at other dudes.
Starting point is 00:45:45 Real talk? Real talk. That's cheating. So, yeah. That's cheating. You're laughing at other people's jokes. So how do you do it? How do you, where does this confidence come from?
Starting point is 00:45:57 What is the coping process? Please explain. Oh, boy. There's two parts to this. Okay. There's two parts. One Okay There's two parts One You're in the room with her right? Yeah
Starting point is 00:46:08 Yeah she's right here There's the answer right there Ah This fucking guy This fucking guy Alright now tell us part two I like that I like that answer
Starting point is 00:46:19 And part Part two It's like You gotta Control what you can control. You know what I mean? There's a few things like don't mention any guys in my apartment. You know, you want to talk about it when we're walking to grab a bite to eat.
Starting point is 00:46:33 Fine. But it's just like, I mean, I grew up in Brooklyn. I've, you know, I'm a bit of a connoisseur in this field myself. But not to that extent right however however you just kind of you got to go with but trust me on this i shit the bed the first like three to five times oh what happened don't worry about what happened a little bit to like get comfortable get the confidence, go and keep her smiling. How do you keep you smiling?
Starting point is 00:47:11 Rephrase the question. I don't think he understands what you're asking. What do you mean? So he's talking physically. He shit the bed through. He's asking, babe, they want to know what it's like dating a performer. Hold on one second, Eric. Kaz really thought when you said you shit the bed that you
Starting point is 00:47:26 actually took a shit in your bed. Not literally. I mean, in the sense of measuring. Motherfuckers. He said he felt like I was sexually disappointing is what he was saying. Thank you. Not talking about blumpkins.
Starting point is 00:47:41 Nothing was disappointing so you bitch me up from across the phone line i'm like eric we need you on the podcast you got to come in one time the both of you oh okay but to your answer to answer your question yeah it's a matter of like yeah this is what she does there's a whole side of that but then aside from that there's actually you know the person that no one else sees and then you know you start to fall for that and you go down that road and it's just like like anything else you're dating someone that has been with a lot of people and you kind of know about it.
Starting point is 00:48:25 Like maybe that girl in high school or college. But, you know, there's them and then there's us. You know what I mean? Right. You can compartmentalize, in other words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's pillars. You build pillars, you know, with time and experience and then that's your foundation.
Starting point is 00:48:42 And then, you know, whatever. The rest of them doesn't really matter. Man, Eric, we appreciate you, bro. Yeah, no problem. You're a stand-up guy, Eric. We fuck with you, bro. No problem. Take care, guys. Be good, man. Nah, we're good. We're good. Peace.
Starting point is 00:48:58 Alright, baby. I'll call you when I'm done. It's like the Greg Popovich of dating porn stars. You got pillars. Play the game the right way now is and then oh fuck
Starting point is 00:49:11 well we should I wish I got to ask him this now it just came to me is that does he watch the porn that you do no well he
Starting point is 00:49:16 he admitted to me like when we first got together I was like don't watch it because that'll just fuck with my head yes because it it creates
Starting point is 00:49:22 because I don't fuck that way like I hate to break it to you guys but like we we fuck a little bit more wildly than we normally do because of the fact that you're not physically there like we have to amp it up a little bit for the viewer um so to me that puts like an expectation on me to be like oh my god is he if he's watching my scenes is he gonna expect me to do this or that or whatever it'd be this character and um so i asked him not to and he was like yeah yeah of course and then like a then like, a couple weeks later, he was like, babe,
Starting point is 00:49:45 I'm just gonna let you know, like, since you told me that, I don't, but kind of did a few times before we met and I was like, that's fine,
Starting point is 00:49:52 that's different, just don't do it now. Now, is there ever a moment where like, like you slip up, like you come home from work and you're like,
Starting point is 00:49:59 ah, I'm a little sore or whatever and then he's like, and then he's like, I mean, on the job injury, that works. Do you go to his house after a scene? I he's like, on the job. Don't say that word. Do you go to his house after a scene?
Starting point is 00:50:09 I'd be like, no, I mean, he lives here in Chelsea, but I live in Vegas. So like the long distancing actually works for both of us because we're not up
Starting point is 00:50:15 in each other's shit 24 seven. That's what I'm saying. You know how rich this dude gotta be to be straight and live in Chelsea? Everyone keeps saying that. They're like, oh,
Starting point is 00:50:23 he's straight and he lives in Chelsea. I'm like, I don't know this shit, you know? That's hilarious. No, like I said, he does well
Starting point is 00:50:30 and he's really, really motivated and he's, you know, constantly busy as am I. So it's, it's good. It keeps it going.
Starting point is 00:50:36 A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Listen, yeah, it does take a lot of confidence. I give it to any, and he knows I'm also very understanding.
Starting point is 00:50:42 Like we had a really good talk last night and I was like, just so you know, like I have empathy for where you're coming from like there's certain things that i definitely i don't know if i would be able to handle or deal with so if there's a time where you need to talk about something like be open about it i'm totally okay with you know not coddling you but like being like there for you as to you know if you're sensitive about
Starting point is 00:51:01 something like that's you know you don't have to be a man about it. It's fine. Because that shit just breaks you. It can, yeah. Meaning if you just hold it in. Yeah. Alex, you said you wanted to- Is he allowed to sleep with other people? Yeah, I told him he can. Yeah, we did that already.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Oh, I'm sorry. It's okay. He doesn't, but- I was just whacking off over there. Exactly. But yeah, it's funny that every girl that I know that has given their boyfriend permission to sleep around, the reaction is uniformly, well, I don't want to do that. They don't do it.
Starting point is 00:51:33 There is something to this idea of when you say we can't, you create a forbidden fruit. And when you say we can, we're really dogs in a lot of ways. As long as the leash goes, we're going. Right? Like you never have one of those leashes that extends. The dog goes to the end of the fucking leash. If it was five feet, he'll be there. 30 feet, he'll be there.
Starting point is 00:51:54 So there is something, I don't know, there is something about that. There's a risk. For me personally, like I've always been like that since I was in the industry. Just because I feel like across the board, there needs to be equality. So if I'm doing something, then that means you should be able to do it. If you're okay with me doing it, I should be okay with you doing it.
Starting point is 00:52:10 And then, you know, if the narrative changes, then it changes. But, um, no, I do appreciate the fact that because,
Starting point is 00:52:14 you know, we're emotionally connected and we're bonded that he's like, well, I don't want to sleep with anybody else. Like that's nice because I'm not emotionally connected to those people and I'm not sleeping with them for, I mean, of course,
Starting point is 00:52:22 don't get me wrong. It's pleasurable, but it's also a job. Like I, it's a very professional career it's you know and there's things that we've talked about and like the exit strategy and things like that because of course we're always going to be there as long as y'all are together like if he's like a couple years in the honeymoon phase is over he's like yo i know we bonded but like yeah i mean and honestly like i love women so we've talked about threesomes at some point. It's totally fine. And he hasn't cashed in on that either?
Starting point is 00:52:46 Well, we just started dating. This is all new. Let me be honest. He and your phone has minds? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, you best believe that's mine. Mine.
Starting point is 00:52:57 With a ring? This? This is mine. He can do whatever with that. Ah. I hear that. I don't know what that was, but that sounded like the right thing to go. This is mine.
Starting point is 00:53:06 He can do whatever. She got real intense, so I just, okay. Oh, oh, oh, his heart is. As long as I know I have that, he can do whatever with his dick. Really? Now, wait a minute. The side bitch better be leaving the house
Starting point is 00:53:16 out the window before I'm home. That's all I'm going to say. Out the window? She can't go through the- Nope, she don't get the front door. My man is a liar. I like these rules. Alex is on like the 30th. My man is a new one. I like these rules. Alex is on
Starting point is 00:53:27 the 30th floor, dog. That bitch died. Every single time she's back. Perfect. I'll make sure it's trash day. We'll just scoot the dumpster a little bit to the left. It'll be fine. Jess, tell them where they can find you. We don't want to take up all your time.
Starting point is 00:53:43 No worries. Guys, social media, everything is Miss because I'm lady m-i-s-s-j-e-s-s-a-r-h-o-d-e-s my gangster name is yes i wrote as don't forget it jessa roads.com all the things plug me snapchat only fans all that fun shit yo go check out jessa check it out you guys yeah thank you so much for coming we really appreciate it for coming for coming through, man. Awesome. Hard dab. Hold on. Hold on. There it is.
Starting point is 00:54:07 There it is. There you go. Thanks, guys. You're incredible. We're going to stop for a second. We'll grab a pic, and then we'll let you get out of here. Awesome. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:15 Okay, guys. That was a great interview with Jessa. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun. Time to pay some bills, and this one is very appropriate. Guys, remember the days when you were ready to go? Remember those days? I think that we're all feeling a little bit like that right now.
Starting point is 00:54:31 Oh, yeah. Increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed with BlueChew.com. You guys already know what the deal is with Blue Chew. Okay, we've been a huge proponent of Blue Chew on this podcast. This is the gift that keeps giving all right you want your girl to get around to you blue chew you want to impress that first girl that you've been dying to hook up with you finally get that date you're back at the crib you don't want to bust fast and get it over with okay you want to take your time stretch it out you and her. Alex has claimed that blue chew increased the size of his penis.
Starting point is 00:55:05 Facts. That's facts. Do you hear that? This is FDA approved active ingredients from Viagra and Cialis, okay? But who the hell wants to take those? You get blue chew, okay? If she dies, she dies. That's just what it is.
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Starting point is 00:55:34 By the time you guys hit the bed If you could benefit from that extra function More confidence comes with it That's the reality of the matter Blue Chew is the fast and easy way To enhance your performance You want it? You go to bluechew.com.
Starting point is 00:55:47 You get your first shipment free when you use the promo code flagrant. All you got to do is pay $5 shipping. That's B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com, promo code flagrant to try. Now let's get back to the show. And we are back. Guys, that was Jessa Rhodes. Make sure you go check her out. That was fun. I had a lot of go check her out. That was fun.
Starting point is 00:56:05 I had a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun. Good interview. Yeah, she's great. Good people. We were just talking during the break about this, but good energy. Female energy, if it's the right female energy on Flavor 2. Always brings the best out of the show.
Starting point is 00:56:20 It really does. Always brings the best out of the show. But we need specific type guests. Because there's a balance. Because it's so extra machismo to Sassron in here. Yeah. She's not so much of a fucking tight ass that it's just enough. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Or it's still the same. I love it. It is a great balance. If it's the right type of girl. If it's someone who's complaining about shit and like, how could you say that? Well, how could you say? Nah, we're not going to. But that's real talk.
Starting point is 00:56:45 Like that's the ideal flagrant to. Lady asshole. Lady asshole. That's a lady asshole. That type of personality, that type of vibe is the ideal. That type of look. That's a little look.
Starting point is 00:56:59 That was about it, bro. That was about it. I mean, he's going like this. He goes, he just now goes. Immediately upon the podcast finish, he's like, what's your background? What's your ethnic background? He was trying to find any sort of brown country in there. I need something in.
Starting point is 00:57:20 He was like, Norway. He was like, oh, that's the whitest of the whites. Guys, shall we start with a little flagrant thought of the week? We got some flagrant thoughts. Oh, my gosh. Any flagrant thoughts? I have a flagrant thought I tweeted that I wanted to expand upon. All right, start it up, Kaz.
Starting point is 00:57:32 I miss terror alerts. Terror alerts. Talk to me. Terror alerts. I remember back in the day, like, fresh off of, like, 9-11, when, like. When they gave us the color scheme. They'd be like, yo yo it's a level orange tonight be on the lookout
Starting point is 00:57:46 and then you could be late for work and just be like oh man there was terror out there it was wild out here like it's yellow
Starting point is 00:57:53 yeah you tweeted this and immediately people were tweeting this this how much Kaz is late to work this how much Kaz wants to be
Starting point is 00:58:01 late to the podcast he wants to bring back terrorism just so he can to bring back terrorism. Not bring back terrorism. Damn, I'm losing out on one of my excuses. Kaz is one person that has never forgot. I was told never forget.
Starting point is 00:58:22 God damn it. No, just like Andrew said, about terrorism, I don't like the act, but the end result. Look at the scale. It just gets more and more Middle Eastern looking. Like, low terror's green. Ain't nobody green. Oh, that brown, that high risk of terror attacks, bro.
Starting point is 00:58:41 Every night you'd watch the news and they'd fucking scare the shit out of you. Like, it's the highest it's been since right before 9-11. Make sure you're on the lookout for anything on the train or the bus or whatever. I would not go to work. You would just dip?
Starting point is 00:58:53 I would just not go. I'd be like, oh, it's too fresh. I'm good. I'm super good. Anthrax and shit. Like, Anthrax wasn't cool with that. Do you think that the terrorists were targeting the,
Starting point is 00:59:02 what was the advertising agency you were working at? What translation? Yeah, was the advertising agency where we're gonna well translation minority advertising agency one boot we must prevent made in america festival in America Festival. That's what you wanted to do. All right. God damn. You must stop Tidal. Not another Jay-Z album.
Starting point is 00:59:34 What about you, Alcott? I don't think I had one this week, man. I had two last week and then I was like, I'll get another one and then I just didn't.
Starting point is 00:59:40 I couldn't really think anything except Minneapolis sucks. That's all I can say. Oh, you didn't like Minneapolis? It's a horrible place. Minneapolis is a horrible place. It's a horrible place. Why? What happened?
Starting point is 00:59:47 I thought everybody said the show was good. The people who reached out to me. Shows were dope. Shows were dope. But in terms of just like what to do in the city, it's fucking nothing, yo. There's a mall. It's a mall. That shit can be done in five years because of Amazon.
Starting point is 00:59:59 It's actually really sad, man. The biggest mall in America is there. Mall of America. Mall of America. And it is massive, dude. The biggest mall in America is there. Mall of America. Mall of America. And it is massive, dude. There's a hotel in it. Did you go? Yeah, I went.
Starting point is 01:00:11 It's pretty fascinating when you see it. Well, here's the thing. I was just like- The theme park? There's like a little theme park in there. For somehow, in my mind, I thought it would be bigger, I guess, because Texas got big malls. So I thought this would be like crazy. Right.
Starting point is 01:00:24 But then there's like stores on multiple levels, like Victoria's Secret, there's like three stores, and they're not like a three-story store. It'll be like three different stores, and I think it's because nobody else can pay the rent, so they're like, all right, we'll just get another. Wait, so what are they selling to, like men, women, and trans? So this is how big it is, right? The mall, because there's a comedy club in the mall right yes there are rick bronsons or something like that and that's the one i used to do
Starting point is 01:00:49 and uh so when i was there i'd need like something to fucking just to like keep me busy so try to do the whole mall like literally walk the entire mall yeah and that's an exercise that old people do there right and i think they do another i did it i was just like yeah let me see something yeah so they have a bunch of victoria series a bunch of foot lockers and that kind of shit. The mall has like neighborhoods. So people just go to one part of the mall. What, is there like apartments there? Like people live there?
Starting point is 01:01:16 Well, they live around it, I think. Like if you're a mall walker, you're like, I'll walk this part today. If you know that they're just going to be in that place getting this, that, the other and getting food, you've got to put your foot locker there because they're not going to want to walk all the way to the other part of the mall. Okay. Yeah, I might not have seen the whole mall, to be honest. But the shows were dope, though? Bob D was the worst fucking tour guide I ever had in my life.
Starting point is 01:01:36 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. First of all, this guy took me to Somali food, which was dope, but that's it. After that, he was like, I got nothing for you. He gave me an arcade, and I was like, son. I'm 35. I'll be young. I'll be only you He gave me like an arcade And I was like son I'm 35 Yeah I'll be young I'll be only 23
Starting point is 01:01:48 Or some shit like that So he took you to Young people shit But that was all he knew When we were in the mall He was like Y'all don't be coming here man I was like
Starting point is 01:01:54 You grew up here You fucking know You should know some shit But I'm in the Uber On the way to the hotel I'm like yo What's good Like Minnesota food
Starting point is 01:02:02 I'm here What should I eat I always like to eat Like the shit that people recommend He was like Where you staying I was like You know this place downtown He was like Oh There's good like Minnesota food I'm here what should I eat I always like to eat like the shit that people recommend he was like where you stay and I was like you know this place downtown he was like oh there's a hibachi place across the street I was like motherfuckers you think I came here from you don't even got fucking Japanese people here and he's like yeah it's like
Starting point is 01:02:19 were you in Minneapolis yeah you see any print shit down there nothing I didn't go to that house. That seemed like too much. I only had one day there. Or the club? Nah, it was... His house is like a fucking thing. It's like a national... Museum, yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:33 Apparently he never wanted. He was like, do not do this to my house. He doesn't like any of that shit. He doesn't. That's why he didn't put his shit on streaming services. That's why he didn't do a lot of shit. He was very anti-commercialism. Right.
Starting point is 01:02:43 Or whatever. Because, one, more than half of his career, he was getting fucking like commercialism right whatever because for one like more than half of his career he was getting fucking fucked over by his label that's why he wrote like slave on his fucking face during the grammys and all that shit that's why i changed his name to a symbol like he was super anti-commercialism all about the art all that type of shit so anything that he felt like commercialized what his music was outside of just like hey just buy the record he was kind of against i'm over it. Interesting. Yeah, I never knew.
Starting point is 01:03:07 I wasn't the biggest Prince fan. Like, I like songs, but I never, like, vibed to Prince. He's Super 10. Probably the most talented musician I've ever met. And I just didn't give it a real shot. I also didn't do that
Starting point is 01:03:15 to beat the Beatles. Well, the Beatles are trash. The Beatles are trash, dog. Come on, bro. The Beatles are trash. Let's be honest, dude. What? Listen. Come on. I respect, bro. The Beatles are trash. Let's be honest, dude. What? Listen.
Starting point is 01:03:25 Come on, dude. I respect the stats. You like Wale. I respect the numbers. Wale's great. New album. Wow, that's crazy. Great album.
Starting point is 01:03:33 New album's got it. Album's fire. Thank you. I like the album. Thank you. My point is- I'm being bugging, though. The Beatles are fire.
Starting point is 01:03:38 Say what? I say he's bugging, though. The Beatles are fire. The Beatles are fire? My point is, if you could say- They got some slamming. Whenever you purposely listen to a song by the Beatles, son. When?
Starting point is 01:03:47 I will sing Yesterday right now. Sing it. Yesterday. All my troubles seem so far away. Son, slap, son. I can not let that shit- Whack. Whack.
Starting point is 01:04:00 Come on, son. Whack. Can't get up the Beatles. Now sing a Wale song. Look my no hands, I. Look my no hands. I said look my no hands. Man, I'm darling. I'm going to get a speech.
Starting point is 01:04:09 Oh, my God. I'm rocking. I think I deserve a chance. I'm a bad motherfucker. Seriously? See? Way better than a fucking Beatles. What's your name?
Starting point is 01:04:22 I'm not here to do Wale. That DC should have ripped all day. And my eyes look all that hazel on my eye. What was your name? I'm not here to do all my lay That be teaching a rip all day And my eyes look all that hazel on my eye Where's my time? Let me take my time We can take it outside Watch your weaves Sweat no bitches, sweat out weaves
Starting point is 01:04:37 Where are the tracks? Let me do my thing I got 16 for the Roscoe thing We're almost done, let me get back to it A little backwoods Put on a train little engine could've bitch
Starting point is 01:04:48 yeah way better than the fucking Beatles Alex this song ain't even his fuck you guys Beatles ain't do no features fam
Starting point is 01:04:57 Beatles ain't do no features wow that's crazy go get the album and stream it down with the boys respect to Wale respect to Wale but in all seriousness,
Starting point is 01:05:06 Beatles is a great band. You can't even deny that. They got the numbers to prove it. They got more hits than Prince. Nah, but he's a better musician. He's a better artist. Without a doubt. But sometimes what happens is the best
Starting point is 01:05:21 technical person isn't the most successful artist because you got to come at a time and place. True. You know what I mean? They're all those dudes that write all the albums. They write all the songs for Beyonce
Starting point is 01:05:32 and all these pop stars, but they can't write their own shit. Exactly. The Beatles had the right thing for the right time. Yeah. I mean, I get it. I get the popularity.
Starting point is 01:05:43 I understand why they were big shit, but to say, I mean, I get it. Like, I get the popularity. Like, I understand why they were big shit, but like, to say, I mean, oh, I guess Prince, the motherfucker, Purple Rain. You kidding me? I'm saying.
Starting point is 01:05:52 Abalonia, Little Red Corvette. I think that, I think people wrote every word. Yo, Prince don't got one song that could fuck with
Starting point is 01:06:01 Imagine. No, no, no. Purple Rain, Purple Rain. Come on, son. Purple Rain, Purple Rain is like. Come on, son. Purple Rain, Purple Rain. And then that shit goes downhill.
Starting point is 01:06:11 Yeah, but that's all you need. That starts at Purple Rain, Purple Rain and that's all you need. Don't you have to be beautiful to be me.
Starting point is 01:06:20 Yes, you do, you lying ass motherfucker. This guy's talking to ugly bitches trying to build them up. That's what happens when you live in Minnesota. Motherfucker wrote that whole album in Minnesota. He was the first Beyonce.
Starting point is 01:06:32 He was speaking to all the ugly bitches. Real talk. Yo, he just made lemonade, bro. That's what purple rain was. He just got a different color drink. Yo, we really figured out Prince. We figured out Prince. Kool-Aid.
Starting point is 01:06:47 Son, them Beatles, though. This is lemonade Kool-Aid, bro. What's the hottest Beatles song? What's the one? To me, it's lemonade, but- It's lemonade? I mean, I'm sorry. It's lemonade.
Starting point is 01:06:55 Yesterday. But then that cherry something. Hey, Jude. Is it? Hey, Jude. I can fuck with that. It's easy. Can you? What is it? Don't be I can fuck with that. It's easy. Can you do it?
Starting point is 01:07:05 What is it? Don't be a friend. Take a sad song and make it better. Okay. Wait a minute. That's just look my no hands slow down. Come together. That's a big one.
Starting point is 01:07:23 All right, come together. I'll fucking come together. I said look ma No hands No shorty I don't dance I'm with Roscoe I'm with Flocka And some something
Starting point is 01:07:35 Yo that's the same song They stole that from the Beatles Wale's hit Yeah listen Until Wale has a movie made about him Where some Indian Who rewrites all his songs I don't know
Starting point is 01:07:48 Here's the thing though I don't think that's Terribly accurate What'd you mean? Like if nobody ever Heard the Beatles And we just In what
Starting point is 01:07:55 It's 2019 And somebody just decided To sing all the Beatles songs We've never heard them before It's really gonna slap like that I think a lot of people They got bangers Really
Starting point is 01:08:02 Cash they got bangers In 2019 You know how I know this For a fact When Countries that don't have Stand up Start stand up scenes
Starting point is 01:08:11 And the worst ones Nah they just take The most famous American stand up acts And translate their jokes And then they immediately Have fans They have success
Starting point is 01:08:20 And they pop off So if you just took The Beatles shit Same thing applies How'd that movie end I didn't see it I didn't see it either I caught you
Starting point is 01:08:28 I was on he had a white girlfriend I didn't watch it alright so I got a flagrant take but it's more like a flagrant confession oh boy
Starting point is 01:08:44 what's up so ever since Instagram took away the activity tab bro So I got a flavored take, but it's more like a flavored confession. Oh, boy. What's up? So ever since Instagram took away the activity tab. Bro. Oh, shit. Son, my fingers hurt from all the likes that I've picked up. Son, I've been letting them likes fly. Okay, here's the thing. This is where you got to be careful.
Starting point is 01:08:59 This is where I figured out. What's up? It don't show the likes no more. It don't show when you like people and this is for anybody who's listening instagram took away the activity tab so the people that follow you can't see what you like or who you follow that kind of stuff but if you and let's say your girl follow the same person oh yeah and you like that pic they'll see your shit liked it liked by alex media that's the first thing they'll see.
Starting point is 01:09:25 The first thing I check is mutual follows. If there's no mutual follows, like, like, like, like. Here's the jig. You need a more single guy to act more like you're in a relationship. That's what I'm saying. Who are you? There's like five girls that don't think you're single. But the jig is, it's not a mutual followers thing.
Starting point is 01:09:47 There's like followed by. So you'll see if they're following you, but you can't see like if you're following the same person. Like say like Akash, it'll show me the people that follow Akash, but it won't show me me and Akash following the same folks. You understand what I'm saying? Okay. So your girl has to know like, yo, you're checking for this bitch's pictures.
Starting point is 01:10:05 I got to see it. What I'm saying is going to be on the picture itself. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. That's a trap. Once they, once they sent that shit over,
Starting point is 01:10:12 I was like, yo, you don't think the girl's going to figure out, the girl's going to figure out this shit. Come on, son. Guaranteed. Guaranteed.
Starting point is 01:10:18 Guaranteed. Your girl got another account where she follows every single girl you follow. Yo. Don't follow them. Don't follow them that's the first rookie my thing is i've been about mental like bro just mental like just come on that's a good ass point i never thought about it like that bro i'll be forgetting though hey you be deleting your search history though nah you could do that? Yeah. Damn, Akash, you're nice with it.
Starting point is 01:10:46 Akash, why do you have to delete your searches? Hey, hey. Yo, you don't think Jess and Roe is getting deleted out the month of May? That's not easy, boy. Bro, I'm still debating if I'm going to post that picture today. I'm sorry, shit. I'm not. All right, let me tell you my favorite thought this week.
Starting point is 01:11:02 So you know how like we're all, we're part of like a share culture. We're part of like a, you know, something that we do that we think is cool, we share something we think is proud of, we share. You know what I mean? We get a new car, we share. We get a new bike, we share.
Starting point is 01:11:17 We get jewelry, we share. Sneakers, share. Any of that kind of shit, we share. We're a share culture, right? Like that's what I respect about Serial killers Is that like Fact yo The shit they
Starting point is 01:11:29 Care the most about Real talk bro They keep to themselves That's Hey man Right Admirable Like they're the most
Starting point is 01:11:36 Unique people In this time Because They not flexing nothing No flex zone Is their whole life Right You know
Starting point is 01:11:44 Andrew's fucked up when he's like, you know the thing about serial killers? So here's the thing. They love it so much, and if they want to continue doing it, they can't share it. But the moment they get caught, they let everybody know how many bodies they got.
Starting point is 01:11:57 Facts, but think about all the rappers that shoot, they're like these young kids that are rapping about all the people they killed. They can't keep that to themselves. They got to flex on the gram the guy selling drugs and like putting the shit on IG immediately it's like bro
Starting point is 01:12:09 all these people doing this you gotta respect YNW Melly motherfucking his biggest song called murder on my mind where he's talking about the guy he fucking murdered and now he's in jail for murder real talk spit that shit
Starting point is 01:12:26 Iceberg Akash That's true Iceberg skinny fan Iceberg sing Interesting fact I just found out Over the weekend The
Starting point is 01:12:35 The American With the most Murders Is a black guy Yeah You already know Weed about them stats I'm not sure
Starting point is 01:12:44 You know black guys always put up numbers. I would have swore like I had that title. There's no way. Son, dead ass. What about Timothy McVeigh? Son, he has more.
Starting point is 01:12:53 He has like 80-something bodies. Timothy McVeigh got 3,000. No, but not like a bomb killing individual motherfuckers. There's a guy in Texas that just confessed to like 93 murders And they've checked out
Starting point is 01:13:05 91 of them Or something like that Apparently this guy Had a photographic memory Which is wild So he vividly remembers Every single kill That's a black dude?
Starting point is 01:13:13 I think it is Was he like a contract killer Or just a guy who just He recounted Nah he just enjoyed it Respect Known as the Okay alright boom
Starting point is 01:13:23 Who is it These are the stats These are the world Let's see Luis Garavito Venezuelan Lopez The first American flag
Starting point is 01:13:31 Let's go Let's see who's American Right here There we go Right there Samuel Little Yeah Damn
Starting point is 01:13:36 Wow 93 people There you go Yeah oh okay I do remember He's like an older black dude Yeah Remember him
Starting point is 01:13:42 Yeah Photographic memory man Damn America fell off. Sam, respect. You can't even get the bronze in serial killing. This him? Yeah. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:13:54 Oh, wow. Did he fucking draw this shit? Who'd he look like? Craig Robinson. Cypher daddy? Wow. Yeah. Oh, my Lord.
Starting point is 01:14:04 This is wild, bro. Bro, he looks like a guy very at peace with life. I kind of look a little like me when we did that face thing and it made me old. Yeah. Oh my Lord. This is wild, bro. It looks like a guy. Kind of look a little like me when we did that face thing and it made me old. Yeah. That's a little scary. Holy shit. Damn son.
Starting point is 01:14:14 Anyway, you look so friendly. All right, guys, let's take a break for a second. We're talking football. And if you, if you're going to gamble, it's very simple who you're going to gamble with.
Starting point is 01:14:23 It's my bookie. Oh yeah. That's it. Okay. They're matching your initial investment It's my bookie. Oh, yeah. That's it, okay? They're matching your initial investment up to $1,000. You get a free $1,000. Do I need to tell you anything else? Do I need to read anything else? Is there any more convincing you
Starting point is 01:14:33 that if you're already going to fucking gamble, take the free $1,000 that they're going to match? It's the only time in gambling you're guaranteed to make money. That's it. You put it there, they're going to pay you. I don't even know. I'm not saying anything else. I'm not saying anything else. You put it there, they're going to pay you. Crazy. I don't even know.
Starting point is 01:14:46 I'm not saying anything else. I'm not saying anything else. You want to do football, you want to do MMA, whatever the fuck you want to do. You want to bet the first half of the game, then you're losing. You bet the second half of the game,
Starting point is 01:14:54 you just do it and you're going to get some free money. There's literally nothing else I have to say. They're asking me about betting in the playoffs. I'm not going to promote that. Everything else I'll promote than the MLB playoffs, I'm not going to do it. Everything else I'll promote than the MLB playoffs, I'm not going to do it. I just can't get behind it.
Starting point is 01:15:08 Okay? But you want to be in part. Basketball season's coming around. Obviously, football season's making things work. The Jets are on a little bit of an uptick. Kaz, we know where you're
Starting point is 01:15:19 putting your money. Yes, get it. Okay? You want to support your team. You want to support this podcast. You go to mybookie.ag. Okay? Promo code flagrant.
Starting point is 01:15:28 You activate that offer. Flagrant is the promo code. You double your cash. Visit mybookie.ag. You play, you win, you get paid. Now, while we're talking sports, this podcast is also brought to you by The Athletic. Akash, please take it away. Yo, The Athletic is a website, sports
Starting point is 01:15:46 website for people who just want sports. Not a bunch of BS ads at the bottom. Not a bunch of other bullshit. It is subscription-based. It's got Akash's favorite writers. Let's be honest. Yes, sir. Kaz is in it as well. Frankie Ice.
Starting point is 01:16:02 Shams is there. They got the best collection of talent. We talked about this last week. You know how you know they're putting out good content? Mark Cuban is going at them. Simple as that. Best endorsement any place has ever gotten. When billionaires complain, you're doing something right. Yeah. Like Mark Cuban gives a fuck about ESPN Insider.
Starting point is 01:16:18 He ain't complaining about them because they're not saying anything that bothers him. Facts. Tim Cato's a great Mavs writer. Jake Kemp's a great Mavs writer. Bob Sturm the best Cowboys writer. It is the first place I go to for sports. Model simple. No pop-ups. No ads. No autoplay video.
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Starting point is 01:16:51 I follow the Cowboys. I follow the Mavs. I used to follow the Cavs. Then when LeBron went to the Lakers, I followed the Lakers. And every story about that team just populates on my site. It's great. Go to theathletic.com slash flagrant2 for 40% off a yearly subscription. That breaks out to $2.99 a month.
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Starting point is 01:17:15 And let's get back to the show. All right, bees, bees, bees, bees, bees. Let's talk a little bit.
Starting point is 01:17:20 We got some topics. I know we got some things that we want to touch on. First, we didn't talk about Errol Spence. That happened right after. Oh, yeah, man. Best luck recovering for Errol Spence. We got some topics. I know we got some things that we want to touch on. First, we didn't talk about Errol Spence. That happened right after. Oh, yeah, man. Yo, best luck recovering from Errol Spence Jr., man.
Starting point is 01:17:31 It's sad. He was in a car accident, and it looks like he's going to make full recovery, but he had just had a really hard-fought victory over Sean Porter, which he did not look too exceptional, to be honest. I thought he was way too depleted and he was just look too exceptional. And to be honest, I thought he was way too depleted and he was just way too skinny. But after his victory, he got in this horrible car accident. So have you heard any more about it? Very lucky to be alive.
Starting point is 01:17:54 I saw the footage. Apparently, he was expected to make a full recovery, broke some teeth, and that's it. God bless. Which is crazy because they actually said this is like the one in a million time that not wearing a seatbelt saved him. So it's crazy that he broke
Starting point is 01:18:05 teeth not boxing not boxing yeah like whoa yeah it's it's so weird we hear this all the time wear a seatbelt your seatbelt saves you and then like every time i see this crazy accent or drunk driving it's always the person that's not wearing the seatbelt that ends up because a lot of times it depends on the on the car and what the car does. If it shoots you out of the vehicle. Oh, it's better. It's better. Interesting. Because the shit tumbled.
Starting point is 01:18:29 And if he would have stayed in the car, as much as that fucking shit would go over. We saw the crazy accident, though. We've been asked, though. Remember, we saw the guy die. Yeah. That guy got thrown from the car. And the guys that stayed in the car lived. So it's weird.
Starting point is 01:18:39 But the way the car, yeah, the way the whole top caved in, it was better that he got ejected. So he got ejected out of the car? Yeah. He's going to, I expect him to make a full recovery, which is crazy. Brain issues at all? Any concussion? I don't know. I'm sure he got a concussion or two, but if they're saying full recovery, that means
Starting point is 01:18:56 like, you know. Full functioning recovery, but not boxing. Boxing is probably not the least of his concerns right now, but I mean, he'll be able to live a pretty decent life. Oh, is his career over? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I don't think anybody's had the heart to be like,
Starting point is 01:19:11 I don't think it'll be like, hey, so when are you getting back to the ring after this? You know what I'm saying? His promoters will definitely be checking in. Wow, man, so tragic. That is tragic, man. What else? Super talented boxer. You were at the Jets-Cowboys game yesterday.
Starting point is 01:19:24 How was that? My man, the orange Jesus himself showed his face. Whose friend is the orange Jesus? Sam Darnold, though. Sam Darnold, boy. He's redheaded. He's orange. Kind of.
Starting point is 01:19:35 Enough. I think Carson Wentz is redheaded, so we take orange. All right. Fair enough. Son. I didn't even. You saw the Cowboys players not even dap up. Not shake Jason Garrett's hands, yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:47 So we had low-level seats. We were very close, but we were at the end zone. Worst. Yeah, and it's rough in the end zone. Plus, every touchdown pretty much was scored away from us. Except the Jets two touchdowns, actually. I got a very close view. Is this a
Starting point is 01:20:05 fireable alpha Jason Garrett I tweeted it yesterday no he's not gonna get fired I think he should have been fired I never liked Jason Garrett
Starting point is 01:20:10 but I was with my homie who is Brian shout out to Brian and he was like I would not be surprised no matter the outcome before
Starting point is 01:20:18 the game as soon as I heard Sam Darnold was playing I was like I don't know if they're gonna win because he's that good Darnold
Starting point is 01:20:23 I don't know just the Cowboys might be that bad. He might end up playing that. Well, the run defense is terrible. The defense looks bad in general. It's just like a fucking... I was just watching that game like, of course.
Starting point is 01:20:33 I wouldn't even like... The Cowboys are missing, was it Teron Smith, who's like all pro left tackle? Their two left tackles are out, but their right and left tackle are hurt, which that'll fuck any team up, you would think. But San Francisco also missing their starting right tackle and left tackle, and they're 5-0. But their defense is what's really—their defense in their run game is really doing it. The run game you would think would be fucked up with, too. Right.
Starting point is 01:20:54 So it's like everybody's hurt. You can't just—it's like you've got to win in spite of injuries. And then you get credit for that, but if you lose, you can't put it on injuries. But with the Jets, it's like they were literally starting a guy who's not an NFL quarterback for the past four weeks. Yeah, so they weren't a legit 0-4. Luke Falk. Luke Falk literally got cut as soon as they said Sam Darnold was accurate. So they had their starting quarterback
Starting point is 01:21:14 Sam Darnold go down in game one. They lost to Buffalo, who's good, by like one point. Then the second week, they had a backup. Who was his name? It wasn't Matt. Whoever the backup was broke his ankle in the first quarter. Trevor Simeon. He used to play for the Broncos. He was his name? It wasn't Matt. Not Matt Castle. Whoever the backup was broke his ankle in the first quarter. Trevor Simeon. Trevor Simeon. He used to play for the Broncos. He was good, yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:29 And so they had to go to their third string quarterback who as soon as McDonald was back, they cut the guy and nobody signed him. He was bad. And people were saying like Sam Donald was due for a breakout year. But at the end of last year, he was cooking. I think like second best QBR over like the second half of the year or some shit like that. And, I went to the game.
Starting point is 01:21:45 And then he got Le'Veon Bell. Right. And Roddy Anderson's a great nine route runner and fast as fuck. And they got like a 93 yard bomb that took the game over. I saw probably 60,000 Jets fans, 30,000 Cowboy fans. I never seen 60,000 people start something so hopeless. And then be so hopeful. And then 45 minutes feel utterly unstoppable.
Starting point is 01:22:07 45 minutes, I saw the complete run of emotions. And then they were actually pretty nice. And here's, let me tell you something that's funny. Only one person I saw
Starting point is 01:22:14 got ejected for fighting, wearing an Eagles jersey. Ain't that some shit? He doesn't even go here. No. He had Eagles jerseys. Just came out, just fought.
Starting point is 01:22:24 Can't go to Eagles games anymore. He's been arrested too many times. Oh, fucking Philly fans, man, never let me down. Were the Jets a legit team
Starting point is 01:22:33 as you watched them or the Cowboys that bad? The Cowboys were that bad. The Jets aren't horrible. They're not 0-4. They're not the worst team in the league,
Starting point is 01:22:40 but the Cowboys should have beat their ass. So many missed opportunities. They're the Knicks of the NFL. But it was close, right? They always lose close. They will find a way. I've always said this. The Jets were up most of the game, and then I think Sam
Starting point is 01:22:53 Darnold threw a pick, and then like that last drive when they threw like seven fucking flags. Watching replays, again, that was when they were at the other end of the field. Watching replays, they all seemed on the video board like pass interference to me. I didn't think there were bad calls, but I was like, again, that was when they were at the other end of the field. Watching replays, they all seemed on the video board like pass interference to me. I didn't think there were bad calls, but I was like, yeah, this is just an ugly game. And that's what the Cowboys do.
Starting point is 01:23:12 They will find a way to crush you always. And even when they were, I was like, they're not going to win. They're not going to get the two-point conversion. But, like, that's exactly how they'll lose. They'll get all the way back there, and then they'll fuck up. This is what they do every time. Last game of the season, last play of the game. I'm not even faced with it.
Starting point is 01:23:26 I mean, but the 0-4, I mean, Jets were 0-4, but it's a very sneaky 0-4. Like you said, they had no quarterback. Their defense went down. They lost C.J. Mosley for a while. It was basically Le'Veon Bell and the Pips. Just like anything they could do just to get any sort of offense. So they got him back. With him, though, I still think they're like, if he played the whole year,
Starting point is 01:23:44 there's like a 6- or 7-win team. Oh, for though, I still think they're like, if he played the whole year, there's like a six or seven win team. Oh, for sure. For sure. I thought the Jets would be, I thought the Jets, I thought, best case scenario, Jets go eight and eight.
Starting point is 01:23:52 Like if they're all healthy and they play well and whatever, because you still got to go through the Patriots twice. The Bills actually look like a good team this year. Like,
Starting point is 01:23:59 that's four, that's possibly four L's right there. So, you know, who knows? The, That's possibly four L's right there. So, you know, who knows? The Carolina Panthers. You love the Panthers.
Starting point is 01:24:12 I don't love the Panthers, but I'm curious about the team. This is crazy. Because it is odd that you see, like, I was the fucking biggest Cam Newton fan. I think we all were. Yeah, I think we all celebrated him, like, more so, not even just as a quarterback, but just as like a physical specimen. I think you rarely get to see somebody like that in athletics. Yeah. It's just rare, right?
Starting point is 01:24:35 He was like LeBron James. Yeah, he was like LeBron. You're so fucking big. He was like Usain Bolt. Yeah. Right? It was just like you get to see this every once in a while. So I'm kind of rooting for him to win.
Starting point is 01:24:40 Yeah. Right? It was just like, you get to see this every once in a while. So I'm kind of rooting for him to win. And I thought the narrative of him like really being good with kids was cool because he was kind of unliked by the media. But then he had all this kind of good,
Starting point is 01:24:52 charitable shit to back it. So it's like, okay, I'm going to root for you instead of the media narrative. And it was fun. You know what I mean? And you want him to go for it. He dresses like a fucking goofball.
Starting point is 01:25:02 But at the same time, if you can back that up, you're the coolest guy in the game. Of course. If you can't, But at the same time, if you can back that up, you're the coolest guy in the game. Of course. If you can't, you're an idiot. But if you can back it up. Well, he was MVP. At one time, he was backing it up.
Starting point is 01:25:12 Of course. More than anybody. Not denying that. He goes down and then this team becomes fucking electrifying. I mean, Christian McCaffrey. Like, is this kid legit?
Starting point is 01:25:23 MVP. Or is it not? Christian McCaffrey has been, like, since high school. Like, I've heard about this dude. I've seen, like, viral clips of the white boy getting, like, just fucking burning motherfucker. I thought the Stanford stuff was kind of overrated if you ask me. I was like, is he in a weak division or something? He was there.
Starting point is 01:25:38 What's his face still coach over there when he was over there? Harbaugh, the black guy. Yeah. Okay, it was the black dude. Dude who coached Andrew Luck. He was a good coach. I forget his name, though. Right. But Stanford had a pretty good football program for a while. And he cooked for them. Harbaugh Harbaugh yeah okay it was the black dude the dude who coached Andrew Luck right but Stanford had a pretty good
Starting point is 01:25:46 football program for a while and he cooked for them and you know I wasn't sure if his skills were just translated in the NFL because you know
Starting point is 01:25:55 I listened to a bunch of idiots in pre-draft routines that I swear that they know what they're talking about but most of the times it's like
Starting point is 01:26:02 they say the same thing about Lamar Jackson oh well we don't know if he's gonna be doing the pros so we don't know if he's going to be doing the pros. We don't know if he's going to be doing the pros. It's the easiest take to have, by the way. Black quarterbacks, white running backs. We don't know if he's going to be doing the pros.
Starting point is 01:26:13 Oh, outside of the racial component, the easiest take to have about talent is it's not going to translate. Because 9 out of 10 times, it doesn't translate. It's like you're not predicting anything brilliant here, right? How many guys end up being breakout stars? Let me tell you something.
Starting point is 01:26:29 None. That's the easiest fucking job in sports, bro. Is to say someone's not going to get it. Pre-draft analysis. So break this down. If you were really a pre-draft analysis person, a team would hire you to get these things. Yo, that's a great point. If you were good at your job, you wouldn't be working for ESPN.
Starting point is 01:26:42 Exactly. You'd be working for the Panthers. Exactly. They're saying type it on a shit. Okay. They know just as much break this down for me this McCaffrey is it is it hype is it real and what is his elite skill that's allowing him to play so well these last fast as fuck it's just raw speed it's athletic yeah just, quick. Can leap. He's just like a freak athlete. Elusiveness. Well, right now in the NFL, if you've got a pass catching back where all shit goes to hell, you can just get it to somebody in the backfield.
Starting point is 01:27:12 So that's it. He's doing a lot of screens. He's getting on and off of. Yeah, and it's like if you're that dude and you're catching things out the backfield, you usually got to beat just one guy first. He's a dual threat. And the easiest job to do with running back is to beat the rest. Isn't he a little
Starting point is 01:27:25 Marshall Falkish? That's what I was gonna ask. Yeah, no, it's definitely Marshall Falkish. Definitely Marshall Falkish. He's an all-purpose guy. He's leading the league in scrimmage yards.
Starting point is 01:27:33 Like, he is, he's probably the best back in football right now. Whoa. He's probably the best back in football right now. Better than? Right now,
Starting point is 01:27:39 there's nobody playing better. Elliott, better than? Better than Elliott. Elliott's not having a great year. He's doing all right. Again, I don't think the Cowboys should have paid him. Saquon's hurt. Saquon is hurt, yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:48 Fucking Le'Veon's whatever. The minute Saquon comes back in. There's a discussion to be had. This is good. But right now, nobody's playing better than him. It's not close. Yeah. So McCaffrey's the real deal?
Starting point is 01:27:58 I think maybe like Tariq Hill, if you count him. Yeah. He was good before, but this year is like... Probably because Cam went down, and you got this young kid, you're throwing him in there, you're like, let's give him all the support we can. Here's Christian McCaffrey. And you know what's interesting? There's this rule I've talked about, it's like the 370 carries. There's some
Starting point is 01:28:13 X number of carries that running backs always fall off after they get this many carries. And I think the idea is you are taking these collisions from these massive motherfuckers, linemen and linebackers. I looked at Marshall Fox stats. If you combine catches and rushes,
Starting point is 01:28:29 he's always, not always, like three times he was over that number, but he never fell off. And I think it's because once you're catching passes, you're taking some cornerbacks. And safeties who can thump sometimes, but not always. And not as big as linebackers and linemen. It's not Jamal Adams coming down the middle. And three linemen, you're fucking trying to get through the whole bang, bang, bang before the tackle.
Starting point is 01:28:48 It seems like it's... Not to mention, you're being dragged down a lot of times by the corners, right? It's not head-on-head collision. You're both running in a direction, being pushed out of bounds. Maybe you get pushed out of bounds. Maybe you got like a shoulder shrug to like go down or whatever. And a lot of times, if you're a running back, you welcome a defensive back tryingug to like go down or whatever. Like it's, it's, and a lot of times if you're a running back,
Starting point is 01:29:06 you welcome a defensive back trying to talk to you. Come get this. You welcome that shit. Come get this. It's like you weigh 180 pounds. Yeah. I'm used to running into guys weighing 250. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:16 Yeah. He might be a little more, I'm sure they're riding him and I haven't gotten to watch a game a ton because we're traveling on Sundays, but like they might be riding the fuck out of him, but it's not quite as devastating if he's catching a lot of passes, it seems like. Yeah. He's a special dude, man.
Starting point is 01:29:30 I remember that he came out in the same class of Leonard Fournette and all these big high school prodigies. He got taken out then. And he was one of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was one of them, dude. So it's not... It was just...
Starting point is 01:29:40 Anybody who's fouled prep football is not a surprise. He's that dude. Akash, now you've been on Your first tour Your first legit stand up tour Yeah You've toured before But this is your first tour
Starting point is 01:29:54 This is my first headlining tour Headlining tour Outside of the cities That you might not like It's the greatest thing I've ever done in my life Yeah Is it enjoyable
Starting point is 01:30:01 Is it fun It's the best fucking thing Yeah To do 45 Is so fucking dope. And like doing 25 for you is always great. But like getting to stretch, getting to breathe, getting to say, hey, here's an idea. Let me try to work this out.
Starting point is 01:30:14 And then ride the silences and know I have more time to make this up. And it's assholes coming out. So like they know me a little bit and they know there's like always a proving you have to do. Yep. And especially five minutes to me now is the hardest thing in comedy of course if I have five minutes is like what the fuck I have to prove I'm funny to you most you don't know me and then I have to do solidify this guy's really good in five minutes with 45 it's like I can explore
Starting point is 01:30:37 and I can play you can be yourself to the crowd and like fucking I could be me man like I'm breathing sold out Minneapolis the first show which was cool and then the second show we didn't sell out. And I was asking people, they're like, this is what I knew was a whack city. They were like, yeah, man, 1030 is kind of late, man. Wait, what day was it? Or 930. It's a Friday.
Starting point is 01:30:56 Jesus Christ. I think the shows were 7 and 930. Maybe it was 8. 930 local. Now, I'll say Minneapolis is a big comedy town, but you're also competing with two other clubs. So it's not like- And it seemed like mainly people who knew me.
Starting point is 01:31:11 And now with the Cliffs, it's interesting because I'm seeing not- LA was heavy assholes, but outside of that, I'm not seeing as many assholes as I thought. I thought if I raised it up at the beginning of the show, everybody would throw their hands up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like 50-50, 40-something. So people are finding you from YouTube and social i think so it's so good that's exciting appreciate everybody pushing me to do it oh yeah about fucking time i love it your stuff always
Starting point is 01:31:36 comes up on my feed on the youtube and it's so interesting like it's it's just so interesting to see how the youtube fee works and how these things happen because it's not like I'm seeking out your stuff. What the algorithm is deciding that the stuff I like happens to be that and it's right. That's the craziest thing about the algorithm. When it suggests your friends. Yeah. Yeah, that's wild.
Starting point is 01:31:58 You know what I mean? Yeah, my shit always comes up on it. Well, I think I'm subscribed to your shit, but like. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm subbed to yours, but still like when your buddies come up, I don't think I'm subbed to yours. I don't think I'm subscribed to your shit, but like. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm subbed to yours, but still like when your buddies come up, I don't think I'm subbed to yours. I don't think I'm subbed to yours.
Starting point is 01:32:08 I truly believe it's like. We'll fucking get it together. I was about to say, God damn, you can't get a click? But meaning like it's even better. It's like it's at work. The algorithm's at work. Oh, you're watching these clips.
Starting point is 01:32:19 You're doing this. I want to say somebody. I think somebody, I don't know if it was Minneapolis or Detroit but was like yo you're really funny there's this other comedian
Starting point is 01:32:28 I really like named Andrew Schultz or whatever so I was like the guy had no idea there was no way it was flagrant it was just like
Starting point is 01:32:33 it was a cool thing worlds coming together I had a combo with YouTube you want to give that up? yeah because I think it's the right thing to do
Starting point is 01:32:44 alright some shit keep in a pocket I've always shared what to do what's the jam or is it I mean it's just like
Starting point is 01:32:53 yo so I've been this is this is interesting because now my videos are starting to go a little bit so little things I'm learning I'm like
Starting point is 01:33:00 if he does my captions he's a brown comic who does every brown comic shit and I'm like yo here's what you gotta do for the a brown comic who does every brown comic shit. And I'm like, yo, here's what you got to do for the thumbnail. Here's what you got to do for this. And then as I see these motherfuckers doing it, part of me is like, that's cool. I'm spreading it forward.
Starting point is 01:33:12 And part of me is like, I shouldn't have fucking told them that. Fuck, man. And it's like, I get where you're going. Like, you like to help out. But there are, there's an advantage to knowing certain things because you already see the impact that this has all had in the industry. And it's like you give everybody, you have people contacting you like, yo, how many people you have in a row with you and all that type of shit?
Starting point is 01:33:36 It's like everybody's going to just. I have, you're going to see a lot, put it this way, you're going to see a lot of, just as you saw like the comics start to post the stuff on social on youtube and there was that wave you're also going to see the wave of comics starting to do vlogs and starting to do like the other kind of ancillary shows that we've started to do and and that's just the nature of the business you know and um you know a lot have reached out and just asking you know how exactly we operate. And I think that – I always think back to something my mom said to me, which was – because my mom, she basically kind of organized the way ballroom dance was taught in New York City. And then every other ballroom dance studio that popped up was either someone who she taught or a teacher that worked for her.
Starting point is 01:34:21 And I was like, doesn't it piss you off that these teachers will build up their thing working for you and then take all the students there? And she was like, no, that's just the nature of business. And she goes, it's actually good for business.
Starting point is 01:34:33 I was like, what do you mean? She goes, competition is good. It makes you create a better product. It makes you step it up. Your mom was built for America, yo. That's why she had to leave Scotland.
Starting point is 01:34:42 She is the rawest form of that shit And she loves the smoke I remember once she retired And like the business was suffering a little bit I actually think we just started hanging out at this point And she came back Oh boy Came back like
Starting point is 01:34:55 This woman is a force bro Like Yo didn't she go to like another Like somebody was like stealing her shit or something like that And then she like sat in on their class Knowing they knew who she was or something like that And then she like sat in on their class knowing they knew who she was or something like that
Starting point is 01:35:06 and she just sat there and didn't it was something crazy I don't remember the exact story oh she's a fucking savage dude dude she's a dude I mean like
Starting point is 01:35:13 once she's like in the game I remember once my brother was playing soccer and the coach like put my brother in for like one minute of the game my mom walked out
Starting point is 01:35:19 during the game stopped the game and started talking to the coach for 40 minutes your mom was black yo bro I'm like your mom sounds like my mom during the game, stopped the game, and started talking to the coach. What? Yo, that, your mom was black.
Starting point is 01:35:27 Yo, bro, I'm like, your mom sounds like my mom. Scottish people are black, bro. That's serious. We're tribal people.
Starting point is 01:35:34 We're in a face paint and shit. That's something that my mom has done. Yeah. Like, when my coach wasn't playing me, she gives me like, what's up? My mom, when I was young,
Starting point is 01:35:40 my mom was on the fucking, I remember this vivid memory. We're on the bus going to, she was pregnant with my little brother. vivid memory we're on the bus going to she was pregnant with my little brother we're on like the regular bus going to thing to school and nobody would get up and my mom just stood in the middle of the bus and she goes cowards you're all cowards you call yourselves men there's a pregnant woman on the bus and you can't stand up for her huh? Cowards
Starting point is 01:36:09 all of yous and this guy stood up he goes don't stand up now don't stand up now I can handle it myself just know you're a fucking coward sit there you coward.
Starting point is 01:36:26 I love it. Bro, does not play. This woman would not play around, bro. She's sending the wildest text message. Did I tell you this? It might be a bit. Son, y'all want to see how crazy my mom is? This is how crazy my mom is.
Starting point is 01:36:39 That's good. This is how crazy my mom is. That was good. Son, ready? This is 12.03 a.m. 12 midnight Friday or Saturday. I'm about to walk on the stage at New York Comedy Club and perform.
Starting point is 01:36:52 I get this text. Hi, my love. I'm drunk. Can you please tell me how many times in your life I've embarrassed you? Wait. It's very important to know the exact number of times and the deep degree of humiliation I've caused you.
Starting point is 01:37:12 This is very important to me. Thank you. I go, none, absolutely none, Ma. Don't worry. She goes, none accepted. She's a wild lady bro but yeah so I don't know that's where he gets it
Starting point is 01:37:33 that's where she gets it right he's like the abalone full far at all I've done no wrong complete lunatic yeah yeah forgiven
Starting point is 01:37:40 you forgive me I forgive me oh my god but so she so anyway I had that call. I don't know. You're right. It's not something we can't. It's years of trying to figure this fucking thing out.
Starting point is 01:37:55 So chill. Finally get some traction, Jill. Just hold it. Just hold it. Hold it. Just hold it. At least let me use it for some of my. You know, give it to us it at least let me use it for some of my you know give it to us
Starting point is 01:38:07 at least let us use it first and then be like you know you know what drop it on Patreon no fuck all that maybe they're ready to get
Starting point is 01:38:16 enough free gold alright that's fair but just yeah I had to alright I don't know I mean you know my thing is just like share and I think good things
Starting point is 01:38:24 come from the sharing. And I think that, I think we've done a lot of that. And I think we've helped a lot. I don't think that there's ever a void in helping that. And it was funny. We were having a conversation with this kid outside the cellar. What was the kid? Wait, the one who got kicked out?
Starting point is 01:38:41 No, no, no. With the titles. Oh, yeah. Billy. Yeah. He used to work at, yeah. Billy. Yeah. Nice kid. He used to work at Hot 97. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:48 I met him back there. And he was doing some subtitles for comics. And what was he saying exactly? He was like, oh, I figured out the font. The font that Comedy Central uses. And mind you, Comedy Central has designed their clips after Andrew's. And he thinks like that's the key. But he thought the font was the key.
Starting point is 01:39:06 He's like, I'm not telling anybody about the font. And it's like, buddy, we could do it in script. It don't matter. It's not about the font. But two things. One, it's cool to see people like trying to cultivate a competitive advantage. But it's also, the other part is like, if if you're gonna take or like be inspired by someone
Starting point is 01:39:26 give that inspiration don't hoard shit like it's good that you're sharing shit because you got it from us so it's like you gotta pay it forward
Starting point is 01:39:34 you gotta pay it forward and I think that we've done a lot of that you know there's a cool thing I'll say this though if Alex is telling you to hold something
Starting point is 01:39:40 Alex has become my voice of reason pretty quickly Alex is good you're right basically it was a talk my voice of reason pretty quickly. Alex is good. You're right. Basically, it was a talk. I won't say what it was, but I had a good talk with YouTube
Starting point is 01:39:50 and there are some things that my gut was telling me and I think that it was right and just about how the algorithm works. And we basically got to the people who make the algorithm and that was the most exciting part because once you talk to them that's like meeting the agent from the matrix
Starting point is 01:40:15 that's exactly what I was going to say that's exactly it's like you're conversing no no it's the white it's the white guy. Aiden Smith. Not even. It's the white guy. It's the architect.
Starting point is 01:40:28 The architect. The architect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like when you're talking about the algorithm and potentially helping write the algorithm, because that's what I want the next step of this to be, because I've noticed a flaw in the algorithm. And that is next level shit that is we're already in the wild west of what's happening right now in entertainment but to be like at the table curating how content is digested like that's fucking like i was having a phone call i'm like
Starting point is 01:41:01 what is going on right now? Like what The fuck Like Back two years ago We're just by ourselves I was by myself Literally by myself And then Alex comes on board And we're just putting up content
Starting point is 01:41:12 On the internet On YouTube And Instagram And now we're talking To the fucking Algorithm writers Of YouTube That's a fucking
Starting point is 01:41:20 Insane Insane thing that happened That's fucking insane Maybe Patreon I'll give a little more information, but if you think it's best to keep it... Yeah, let's just
Starting point is 01:41:29 hold it for a little bit. How about this? Afterwards, I'll tell you guys and then maybe next episode, if you guys believe it's okay to just share, then we'll just give it away. But yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:38 Yeah. Okay, that's it. Maybe we should start maybe do another thing and then wrap it up. I know we got to give our dates And everything Do we wanna Updates on the NBA China shit?
Starting point is 01:41:50 Is that still worthy of news? Oh yeah Since we talked We talked about it on Patreon The NBA Kaz's flagrant thought of the week On Patreon What was it?
Starting point is 01:41:58 The NBA They were kinda pussy They looked real pussy China says shut up and dribble And they were like Okay Literally what happened So Darren Lurie tweets this thing They were kind of pussy. They looked real pussy. China says shut up and dribble, and they were like, okay. Okay. It literally would happen.
Starting point is 01:42:09 So Darren Rory tweets this thing. What a fucking bozo. The NBA apologizes for his tweet. He apologizes for his tweet. The Rockets consider firing him. China won't air any of the games that the NBA is playing over there on Chinese television. Did you see the Lakers and Nets game over in China? No. No one did.
Starting point is 01:42:24 Bro. He's television. Did you see the Lakers and Nets game over in China? No. No one did. Bro. No, I mean, like, it was, fuck, like, maybe 45% full. Like, it's LeBron James and the Los Angeles Lakers. Fuck China.
Starting point is 01:42:35 But real talk. But real talk. China, they have that big dick energy. No, they do have big dick energy. Even though they don't have big dicks. I know. Even though they do. As anti-American as it sounds,
Starting point is 01:42:45 I'm like, damn, they really told you to shut the fuck up and they were like, ooh. Real talk, this is why, listen, this is tough. This is why global politics
Starting point is 01:42:53 is a different game. There's two takeaways that I got from this. One is, the world is gonna miss America when we're no longer in charge. This shit where everybody complains about stuff like,
Starting point is 01:43:02 and don't get me wrong, we're not perfect. We're out here stealing motherfuckers oil. We're out here bodying countries and giving them all this crazy debt, et cetera. But you could sweet when America's in charge, you get to tweet, you get basketball,
Starting point is 01:43:15 you get to wear whatever you want. You know what I mean? You get South Park, you get whatever movie, like somebody going to have to be in charge. And the choice is America, Russia, China and undoubtedly
Starting point is 01:43:27 if that's even a word the best world that there is is going to be America. Without a doubt. You know why we're not going to win that though? Because we owe China so much fucking money. We owe so much fucking debt to the motherfuckers. When you got nuclear weapons you don't owe nobody
Starting point is 01:43:44 money. Come get it. That's what I't owe nobody money. Come get it. That's what I'm going to say. Come get it. We got an aircraft carrier right outside China. Come get it. You want war with China?
Starting point is 01:43:53 Yo, China's way of infiltrating America has been... Pull up, son. I'm telling you, the sleeper cells, man, in every city. Yo, Al truly believes
Starting point is 01:44:01 every Chinatown is actually like a militia. Son, you don't think there's some sleeper cells in the world? There's one dude in China. There's got to militia Son You don't think There's some sleeper cells There's one dude in China There gotta be a few Son why you call them Sleeper cells
Starting point is 01:44:08 Cause their eyes like that bro That's not fair dog Yo that's how they look dog That's fucked up Real talk They awake They awake dog Real talk
Starting point is 01:44:18 Yo would anything Scare a city less Than Chinatown uprising We'd be like Get the fuck down man We got time For your stupid shit Keep your fish, sit the fuck down, man. You ain't got time for your stupid shit. Keep your fish, man. Get the fuck out of here. You say that now until they all pull out the nunchucks.
Starting point is 01:44:30 The way China... You say that now until you need something to eat on Christmas. Alright, my bad, son. We can work out arrangements. The way China is winning this is money. They're just giving... They're making us dependent on their money. And that's a real fucking smart, insidious
Starting point is 01:44:48 game to play. Who invented that game? It's just Pippin. Who literally invented that game? America invented that game. The consumption game, we're the biggest consumers in the world, and all these economies are reliant on our consumption. When America goes, we're going to sanction this country
Starting point is 01:45:02 for what they did. You ever hear sanctions? That's all it is. We're going to restrict your economic movement and where you can put your money, who can do deals with you, etc. And other countries have to bow down to those restrictions because they need us to buy their goods. Now that China has this big middle class, they've become the biggest consumers, I think, or they're one of them. I mean, they're doing it. You talked about this. You couldn't afford.
Starting point is 01:45:22 You got priced out of a bunch of apartments because Chinese companies would just come buy all the apartments. They are buying up everything. They're making us dependent on their business. And then what the fuck are we going to do? I don't know politics. So this is a very rudimentary thing I'm just thinking through. But that was when I was like, oh, everybody kowtows to China for the dollar, for their
Starting point is 01:45:42 money. Is kowtow, what is that? I think it's like bow down I thought that was a Chinese city or some shit like that that's how much
Starting point is 01:45:49 they respect cows son Hindu out here bro you know how horrified Akash was when she was milking my thumbs bro you seen how horrified
Starting point is 01:46:00 I saw a single tear fall to Akash this is so cool how could you desecrate a cow's udders that way I gotta get a Chinese chick you need to get on top of it
Starting point is 01:46:13 get ahead of the game get ahead of the game bro for real it is an interesting it is an interesting time to be in but then since we talked about it
Starting point is 01:46:20 a reporter first of all Steve Curry was like Steve Kerr was like I don't know much about the situation which is fucking embarrassing Trump bodied him, Steve Curry was like, our staff, Steve Kerr was like, I don't know much about the situation. And then Trump bought him.
Starting point is 01:46:26 Which is fucking embarrassing. Trump bought him and then he was like, oh, he just went at me because I'm the shiny object. No, he went at you
Starting point is 01:46:31 because you'll talk shit about him constantly who talks about building a wall and even before he was elected, that's all he had done, talk about building a wall. Oh,
Starting point is 01:46:39 you can't spread this hate speech. China, bought in everybody. They don't give a fuck about lives, period. And you don't know about it.
Starting point is 01:46:46 putting Muslims in term in camps. Yo. The Uyghurs, or I forget, I don't know, Uyghurs. Desecrating mosques.
Starting point is 01:46:54 You would say that. Son, I don't know exactly, yeah, but they're like desecrating mosques. It's fucked up. Now listen,
Starting point is 01:46:58 we knew this. The whole time we knew this. Here's my issue. I don't care, I don't expect, and I mean this wholeheartedly, I do not expect black Americans to give a fuck about the Hong Kongese struggle. Because I'll tell you one group that does not give a fuck about the black American struggle. Hong Kong.
Starting point is 01:47:17 Hong Kongese people. You know, when Black Lives Matter was popping off, they ain't no Hong Kong people going, yo, we got your back. We'll help you this, that, the other. And I'll be frank with you. From my experience with my black friends, the Chinatowns have not been the most inviting place for black people. Hurry up and buy. Now, y'all do be lingering. Where else are you going to go? No, lingering is the name of the girl that works there.
Starting point is 01:47:43 So the thing is with... Lingering. It sounds sexual. No, it's actually ling-ling. It just sounds like it. Lingering. That's our full name. So, but that being said,
Starting point is 01:47:56 my issue is not we got to do something or have an opinion. Honestly, fuck them. It's not our business. Like, real talk. The only reason why we care is because they make up 17% of the income in the NBA and probably more than that. 17, yeah. 17, yeah.
Starting point is 01:48:08 But no, but the thing is like this is how goofy Americans are. It's like we always say stop interfering with other people's problems. And then there's this shit over there and it's like how dare we not interfere with their problems. Like figure it out, you pussies. That being said, I don't think that we should give a fuck. I really truly do not believe that we have to give a fuck. That being said, I don't think that we should give a fuck. I really, truly do not believe that we have to give a fuck.
Starting point is 01:48:32 What I'm saying is acknowledge that you are choosing not to give a fuck about a community or about a people in the world. And then don't be shocked when there are people in the world that don't give a fuck about you. It's that simple. People, and even when it happens in your own country, sometimes people don't give a fuck about other groups besides themselves. And that happens. And as fucked up as it is, it happens to be human nature. Jay-Z said it best.
Starting point is 01:48:54 There's a line where he says, I want to take care of the world I know, but first I got to take care of the world I know. I mean, no, there's bigger problems in the world I know, but first I got to take care of the world I know. I mean, no, there's bigger problems in the world I know. But first, I got to take care of the world I know. Like, literally, I know my direct people. Yes, exactly. And that's kind of how I've always lived shit.
Starting point is 01:49:13 Like, I've never tried to pretend to be the most astute in everything that's going on in the world. Because there's shit going on in my immediate world that I can probably have a controlling stake in to try and help and fix and do that type of shit. Like, truly? Somebody asked me about what's going on in China. I kinda know. Maybe. Is there anything I can really do about it? I would like if this was openly the policy. That's the thing. Like, it would be
Starting point is 01:49:38 so much better if it was because think about, like, there are so many people who want attention to their issues, for their issues, and they should want attention for their issues, right? But keep in mind, a guy who's this staunch Trump supporter,
Starting point is 01:49:54 factory worker in Kansas, he don't give a fuck about Black Lives Matter because it has nothing to do with him. So maybe he doesn't hate or like black people. It's just not part of his life. Just like how you don't give a fuck about his factory closing because it's not part of your life.
Starting point is 01:50:12 Now, it's shocking to hear and take in, but that's the reality of humanity. We care about the people. Like Jay-Z said, we know. I mean, it's easier to, it's a lot easier to act like you care. You know what I mean? Like it's a lot easier and a lot easier to stomach
Starting point is 01:50:32 to be well aware and well intentioned. But when it comes down to actual action and it comes down to like things you can actually take care of, there's only so much you can really do. And to act like just being aware and knowing things is going to change
Starting point is 01:50:45 anything that's going on in China the fact if LeBron James came down and had a whole fucking dissertation at a press conference
Starting point is 01:50:52 about everything that's going on in China is that going to change any fucking thing not a single fucking thing nothing can I ask you this if an NFL team
Starting point is 01:50:59 signed Colin Kaepernick is that going to change anything about police brutality nope honestly I'm just saying I don't I'll tell you this I think you should play on a team Sign Colin Kaepernick? Is that going to change anything about police brutality? Nope. Honestly? I'm just saying. I'll tell you this. I think he should play on a team.
Starting point is 01:51:08 I just think by that logic. I'll tell you this. Because you're kind of just giving them a pass on that and then asking other people to not. You've got to remember, the only reason why Colin Kaepernick knelt was just to bring awareness to it. Has he brought awareness to these issues? Yes. Yes, he has. LeBron could bring a lot brought awareness to these issues? Yes. Yes, he has. LeBron could bring a lot
Starting point is 01:51:26 of awareness to the issues. Kyle Kaepernick never said, if you sign me to an NFL team, cops will stop doing this. He was just saying also, you have to add that. No, but your point is LeBron doesn't have to say anything because what good is it going to do?
Starting point is 01:51:41 It's not going to save anybody in China. NFL owners saying, you know what? Colin Kaepernick stood up for what was right, and I believe this is a horrible thing that is happening. And this is factual. He's right. I agree with Colin Kaepernick. But let's say by that same logic, if an NFL team was like, you know what? Colin Kaepernick said the right thing.
Starting point is 01:51:57 This is a fucked up thing that's happening in America. I'm signing Colin Kaepernick. Same LeBron logic. Does that change anything about police brutality? Doesn't change anything. Probably not. Same LeBron logic. Does that change anything about police brutality? Doesn't change anything. Probably not. And here's the thing. They don't want to ruffle feathers
Starting point is 01:52:09 because they still need sweatshop workers to make their equality t-shirts. That's a wild thing, right? And that's what we talk about with selective wokeness and kind of the fraudulence of it. If we accept this is what it is, LeBron cares about black people
Starting point is 01:52:23 because LeBron's black. That's it. Great. Cool. I care about black people because LeBron black. That's it. Great. Cool. I care about brown people because I'm brown. Great. Cool.
Starting point is 01:52:29 I'm not going to give a fuck about y'all stuff. I care about all y'all because I'm white and I have to. Very simple. I don't have a choice. That's why it sucks to be y'all. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:52:38 You got to care about everybody. I got to care about the Uyghurs. I don't even know how to pronounce them. They got good food though. The Uyghurs. they're like Muslim Chinese people. There's a weird spelling. Yeah, another thing that happened since we talked about it on Patreon, they stopped the reporter from asking a question from CNN.
Starting point is 01:52:54 I saw that. They cut that shit off and then she kept going. But they tried to stay. And then people at Sixers games came with free Hong Kong signs, booted them out. Now, I looked into those people. They were there to be booted out. They went there for that reason. Did they do anything beyond the signs?
Starting point is 01:53:10 They were like yelling about some shit. That's what protesters do. They go in there. They're willing to get arrested. They wanted the attention. And the Sixers are so stupid that they actually gave them the attention. I would have let them sit there the whole fucking game. Here's my question, though. Were they doing obnoxious things that you should boot out beyond having the sign?
Starting point is 01:53:25 I don't know exactly what it was, but it was more than just having the sign. Maybe they were standing people's way or that kind of shit. It was an organized thing. To be fair, there's an NBA code of conduct that you sign every time you buy a ticket that tells you, hey, we have the right to kick you out for whatever if you have a sign that we feel like is
Starting point is 01:53:41 not with our value, whatever the fuck it is. They kicked out a Black Lives Matter sign. 100% no. Yeah. 100% no. It's the world we know. Our league is 85%, high 80% black. We just want people to accept that.
Starting point is 01:53:55 Yeah. That's all we want. That's all we want. We just want to expose hypocrisy. The only thing I dislike are hypocrites. Not that I dislike. I dislike, put it this way. dislike or hypocrite not that I dislike
Starting point is 01:54:02 I dislike put it this way I dislike hypocrites that act like we aren't all them like I'm okay being a hypocrite because I'm going to
Starting point is 01:54:12 tell you to your face yeah I'm a hypocrite I care about certain things I don't care about others and I let the things that happen in the third world happen and act like they're not happening at all
Starting point is 01:54:19 I'm not better than anybody I'm not better than nobody I'm a piece of shit just like everybody else is a piece of shit you can never let anybody down who didn't expect anything from you.
Starting point is 01:54:26 Simple as that. Look, I am fully aware of the privilege I have living in the first world and I ignore all the fuck shit that lets that happen. 100%.
Starting point is 01:54:34 The motherfucker that gets up here and acts like he's not, now you make me feel like a piece of shit. And that's why people are so giddy to watch you watch your downfall. When you
Starting point is 01:54:47 build your brand up to be these type of things and then A plus B doesn't equal C one time it'll be all over your ass man. We've seen that. We've seen it happen. The travesty and the biggest problem going on in my life right now is should I get tints on my car?
Starting point is 01:55:05 That was a ball of shit you just said, Alex. I don't know if I should do it because I don't want to get pulled over. But then it's like, if you don't get the tints on your car, you might get pulled over. This is true. Yeah, but it looks, but it's not going to look fun. Nobody thinks a black guy is driving a Tesla. No cop is seeing a Tesla and going, oh, there's a black guy in it. Yeah, but when you see this black guy though.
Starting point is 01:55:25 True. No, no, but they don't even assume it. Yeah, but when you see this black guy, though. True. No, no, but they don't even assume it. Like, Teslas are like nerd cars, dude. Like, they're not ubiquitous with like, like. Like, I'm getting pulled over in my Benz. In a Benz? Like a Benz? Black guy in Benz? You're like, yes. What color is yours? It's deep blue. Because I had the gray one.
Starting point is 01:55:39 I had a red one at first, and I got pulled over like a week into having it, and then I switched it. So I got the gray specifically so I wouldn't get pulled over and I wasn't getting pulled over that much. But when I used to have a red car, I had a red joint. Forget it. And my ADG 35 was every week. I missed the one red light and I had my red joint for a couple of weeks. Immediately got a ticket.
Starting point is 01:55:56 Immediately got pulled over. I was like, fuck this shit. Black plus red equals blue, huh? All right, guys. What else you got, yo? I think we got to get out of here. That's what we got. Oh, shit. We huh? All right, guys. What else you got, yo? I think that we got to get out of here. That's what we got. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:56:07 We're over two hours, man. I love y'all. Thank y'all so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed the... Yeah, we're going to do that in a minute. I hope you guys enjoyed the episode. I hope you enjoyed Jessa. Go follow Jessa.
Starting point is 01:56:19 Go check out Akash on tour. Check out his YouTube page. Check me out on tour. Check out what we got going on YouTube. Check Kaz Dusey shows and all the things that he's cooking up. Make sure you check that out. You heard us talk about it earlier. Check Ed and Spinning.
Starting point is 01:56:35 You can find Ed and Spinning. TMI podcast as well. Too much internet. Oh, shit. Ed and got the podcast as well. Okay. Make sure you check it out. We got a lot of cool things cooking, man.
Starting point is 01:56:46 Very excited. Announcement coming up in the very near future. Cannot wait to share it with you guys. Can't say anything more about it then, but just it's, yeah, man, we're building something. That's all I can say. We're building something. This has been Flavor 2. Peace.
Starting point is 01:57:05 Keep it tight.

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