Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Sauce Monkeys feat. The History Hyenas

Episode Date: September 27, 2019

This week Akaash, Kaz, and the History Hyenas (Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas) discuss:missing Apu, Tekashi69 snitching on everyone, praising Daniel Jones too early, the flagrant thought of the wee...k, and much more. INDULGE!! Want to hear the full episode? Become a Patron! www.Patreon.com/Flagrant2

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to Flagrant 2 No Easy Buckets Patreon Episode Water Cooler Commentary for Sports Needs Analysis by Assholes. You know who you were just listening to. Yes sir. On my right is Kazim Famuide, the Nigerian nice guy. Yes. And across from us. Yeah. I'll take it.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Fuck it. Yeah. Across from us, we have the wildest boys we have had on this podcast. Yes. Flagrant family, the history hyenas. They're like our flagrant it. Yeah. Cross from us, we have the wildest boys we have had on this podcast. Yes. Flagrant family, the history hyenas. They're like our flagrant cousins. Yeah. Y'all just heard some regular conversation.
Starting point is 00:00:30 They're not any different often on the podcast. Yeah, yeah. Giannis Pappas, Chris DiStefano, thank you guys for coming in. What's up, guys? Thanks for having us, guys. Welcome back to the show. We were with a lot of things to talk about. We were just lamenting the loss of Apu.
Starting point is 00:00:40 I hope you guys don't think I thought he should be gone. No. I loved Apu. We've talked about it on this podcast. I just had a moment where I had an emotional R.I.P. Apu. It'd be happening to me once a poo. I hope you guys don't think I thought he should be gone. No, no. We've talked about it on this podcast. I just had a moment where I had an emotional R.I.P. of poo.
Starting point is 00:00:47 It'd be happening to me once a month. I mean, rest in peace to a legendary character. You're one of the good Sandra D's. Wait, what is a Sandra D?
Starting point is 00:00:58 I mean, right out of the gate. It's a Patreon. It's a Patreon. When I got my chain out, I'm saying guy and I'm fucking ready to fly. When I got my chain out, I'm saying guy and I'm fucking ready to fly. That's when I got my chain out, guy. Yeah, I mean,
Starting point is 00:01:07 his whole personality's changed since he put that chain back on. And what's even funnier about that chain is his mother bought it from him in high school and he found it. Yeah, when I got this chain out...
Starting point is 00:01:15 My mom bought me this, too, by the way, so I'm feeling the same way. When I got this fucking chain out, every thought ends with Trump 2020. Yeah. That's what it is.
Starting point is 00:01:23 And he calls everybody guy, including women. Yeah, I call everybody, yeah, I was like, guy or babe? His mom called him, because today I was walking in Bay Ridge and there's a lot of hardcore Muslims and there was a Muslim woman dressed headstow just her eyes and I was like, have a nice day, babe, because I had to chain out. I called a
Starting point is 00:01:39 full Muslim woman babe and then looked into her eye that I could see. We live in Bay Ridge, there's a lot of Muslims why did she feel that she was acknowledged as a person for once she looked confused yeah
Starting point is 00:01:49 she just put her eyes down she blinked twice I don't know what that means in Muslim world we got so many Muslims in Bay Ridge it's a huge
Starting point is 00:02:00 Muslim population and I swear to God a lot of my neighbors are Muslim and I don't know a lot of my neighbors are Muslim and I don't know a lot of them are in the full storm trooper I get it
Starting point is 00:02:07 no they're in the full storm trooper so I don't know sand troopers yeah sand troopers yeah I don't know if I'm saying hello
Starting point is 00:02:17 to my neighbor or not because I see someone who wears you know it's like is that my neighbor I just say hello to everybody because I don't know if that's my neighbor
Starting point is 00:02:24 you're on the safe side it's funny though that's our neighbor? I just say hello to everybody. Because I don't know if that's my neighbor. You're on the safe side. It's funny, though, that that's our neighborhood. Because our neighborhood, Bay Ridge, is very much like those Muslim, true, devout Muslims. And then also like the old school guidos. Like Paulie Walnuts, Tony Sirico. The actual actor who played Paulie Walnuts lives in Bay Ridge and walks past those people, too. But what's happened, though, in a good way is like you see now like Muslim people
Starting point is 00:02:46 coming into the pizzerias and like Italians with fucking chains out being like yeah I gotta go get some fucking hummus guys you know like
Starting point is 00:02:53 and it's harmonious so it's kind of a beautiful thing they're coming together yeah they're coming together they talk about each other behind their back but they live in the same place
Starting point is 00:03:02 they tolerate each other to a point I mean I wouldn't go above 86th street you know what I mean I got you, but they live in the same place. Yeah, it's like they tolerate each other. They're coming together to a point. I mean, I wouldn't go above 86th Street. You know what I mean? I got you. I got you. I feel the same way about Manhattan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Okay, guys. We normally start this episode with a flagrant thought of the week. I know I texted you guys about this. Do you have anything? If not, no big deal. I have a feeling we're going to be pretty flagrant. Yeah, I said you were one of the sisters. No, let's get to that.
Starting point is 00:03:24 So Sandra D, what does that mean? I mean, I know what it means, but why does it mean that? I'm going to be honest and explain. You're going to let me to explain. Because I got my chain on and I'm just scared. I'm going to eat a donut while he talks. Sandra Dee is a character from Grease. Remember, look at me, I'm Sandra Dee.
Starting point is 00:03:39 No, I never saw Grease. I'm not gay. Yeah, well, it's it. Oh, I thought you meant from Grease, like the country, the movie. No, no, the movie Grease. Remember, look at me, I'm not gay yeah well it's oh I thought you meant from Greece like the country the movie no no the movie Greece remember look at me I'm Sandra Day can you pull up a picture
Starting point is 00:03:50 is she brown she's white no alright let me can I just we were saying that movie was made at a time
Starting point is 00:03:57 there were no brown entertainers and that is shout out to the woke crowd because the woke crowd is right about that because you were talking about a holding deal you got and Chris said
Starting point is 00:04:04 something about hey if it was 15 years ago your money holding deal you got and Chris said something about hey, if it was 15 years ago, your money would've been triple. And I said if that was 15 years ago, you wouldn't have had a holding deal because you would've been behind the counter for 7-Eleven. So but why? Flagrant thought completed. So Sandra Dee means you're from a part of the world
Starting point is 00:04:23 that has a lot of sand. Oh, okay. Sand. Yeah, end it, Chris. So sandra D means you're from a part of the world that has a lot of sand. Oh, okay. Yeah, sand. Yeah, end it, Chris. Right there. That's all I have to say about that. Trump 2020.
Starting point is 00:04:31 It just has, there's a lot of desert. Yeah. And then we call Asian people Eastern Hemis. Eastern Hemis from the Eastern Hemisphere. That's my favorite. It's no disrespect. It's just, so we'll say like an Eastern Hemi. Eastern Hemi. Yeah. But when the chain's down and it's above'll say like an Eastern Hemis. Eastern Hemis.
Starting point is 00:04:47 But when the chain's out and it's above 90 degrees, the Eastern Hemis aren't safe around me. I will say that. After the whole Shane Gillis thing happened, he just went outside and started staring down Chinese. Yeah. Put it this way. One of our close friends on the podcast and my actual boxing instructor,
Starting point is 00:05:00 Paul Igasi. Shout out, Paul Igasi. What a guido. Every fucking name is Paul Igasi. He's having Igasi. What a Guido. Every fucking name is a body of walnuts. He's having a funeral for his dog Rocco tomorrow. I swear to God,
Starting point is 00:05:10 this Rocco. He's sitting in the backyard dead serious. He was like, it's been a rough couple of weeks for me. I'm like, okay,
Starting point is 00:05:16 well the dog should be buried. It's decaying in your backyard. But he was like, he calls, because it's become Bensonhurst, Brooklyn now.
Starting point is 00:05:22 It used to be like the old school mafia Italian neighborhood like 18th Avenue Feast. It was like Guido Central, right? Now it's mostly Bensonhurst, Brooklyn now. It used to be like the old school mafia Italian neighborhood, like 18th Avenue Feast. It was like Guido Central, right? Now it's mostly Eastern Hemis now. A lot of Asians have moved in. Benson Hemis.
Starting point is 00:05:33 And he says his address. He'll say, he's like, my address, 7611 14th Avenue. He goes, you know what I call this place? The Italian Alamo. He goes, this is the last stand. We got Chinese attacking from all sides. And he'll stand on his fucking porch with his chain out
Starting point is 00:05:48 I got the fucking Alamo cuz he'll sit down and have a cappuccino he's the type he's the type of guy that when he gets to the Brooklyn Bridge
Starting point is 00:05:54 he brings his passport he's not sure he hasn't been to the city that many times he's the kind of kid too to make extra cash for Christmas he'll sell Tickle Me Alamos
Starting point is 00:06:02 out of the back of his trunk he's just one kind of kid oh yeah swear to god to make some cash his dream is to make it big in the city Elmo's out of the back of his trunk. That's just what it is. Oh, yeah. I swear to God, to make some cash. His dream is to make it big in the city one day. He's got to make it
Starting point is 00:06:08 big in the city. Yeah, one day he's going to get it in the city. Yeah, he told me, we were talking the other day and he was like, yeah, he goes, I met a guy who's got
Starting point is 00:06:13 some space for me over there in the city. He said, I want to put a boxing gym out there down there, right downtown Manhattan, in the city. And he goes,
Starting point is 00:06:20 but I really can only pay about $1,000 a month. You think I'll make a deal? I said, probably not. I would say, no. He goes, but I really can only pay about $1,000 a month. You think I'll make a deal? Probably not. I would say no. Not for $1,000 a month. I was like, it might be $1,000 a minute for somebody to train.
Starting point is 00:06:38 You guys are born and bred New Yorkers, right? Yes, sir. Who fucking coined the city? Who started running with that first? Was that black folks? Was that Italians? Was that just immigrants? Oh the city?
Starting point is 00:06:47 The city If people don't live in New York Manhattan is what we call the city Right? Yeah exactly If you live in Brooklyn And you say I'm going to the city Oh we're going to the city You're going to Manhattan
Starting point is 00:06:53 It doesn't make any sense For me at first I was like It's all New York City What the fuck are you talking about? It just shows how arrogant we are Because you can even be like If you're with a New Yorker And you're in St. Louis
Starting point is 00:07:01 In the suburbs And someone says We're going to the city The New Yorker's going to be like We're going to Manhattan right now? Yeah. It's like the city. It's going to be a long drive.
Starting point is 00:07:07 It's like one city. We just consider it like- It's the Ohio State of cities. It's the Ohio State. We look at other cities and we look at them almost like Vegas casinos. We're like, oh, this is a cute little, looks like a fake New York.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Yeah, because let's be honest. It doesn't even look real. Listen, no disrespect to other people's cities. I know you're from Texas. Cal's, where are you from? Bonaire area. Bonaire, New York. He matters.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Nobody cares. No, no, the thing is, I appreciate all, I appreciate American cities. I know New York can't do it on our own, but I mean, you know what I mean? It's New York City
Starting point is 00:07:39 and then there's just everything else. I heard somebody having a conversation about how they feel like Houston is really making a run for New York as being one of the best cities in the country. And I'm like, it's not. It's not. The thing is, it's not. I live in Houston.
Starting point is 00:07:50 If aliens come and invade this planet and we have to fucking fight for our survival as a human race, the meeting's going to be held in New York City and we're going to serve them Italian food. It's just what it is. Those are the two best things we have to offer as Americans. Italian food in New York City. The meeting's not going to take place in a Jimmy John's. It's not going to happen. Here's what I think. It's not going to be a Papa Doe.
Starting point is 00:08:08 I think if we have to defend something, I said this on the last episode, you've got to go to the South. Everybody there got guns. Everybody there ready to fight. Oh, no, no, no. Absolutely. I'm just talking about the sit-down. No, no, those fucking Southern fucking maniacs, they're the front line of defense. I can't fight, guy.
Starting point is 00:08:21 I can't fuck my chain up. I'm not fighting, guy. I'm talking about where they're going to hold it because you'll be like, yo, we got New York City here. I'm not going down to fight. That's Billy Bob to do that. You got that. I'm going to say something that's uncomfortable,
Starting point is 00:08:31 but 9-11 wasn't in Chicago. Yeah. It wasn't in LA. This is true. It wasn't in Houston. Yeah. They knew where they were going. They knew exactly where to go.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Yeah, they know how to cripple us. I'm the wrong guy to make that observation. I was about to say, like, this is the second 9-11 show. I'm the wrong guy to make that observation. I was about to say, this is the second 9-11 show. Only to the untrained eye. To the trained eye, you're okay
Starting point is 00:08:50 because you're Hindi. I told him he looked Trinidadian. We had a whole thing last week where I was like, yo, if he said the N-word and I was just a stranger, I wouldn't blink twice.
Starting point is 00:08:58 With Trinidad, there's a lot of Indians in Trinidad. Exactly. This is the second worst boat ride in history. You're like a diet brown. It's like a smooth hue.
Starting point is 00:09:07 It's not like, oh yeah, that's it. My friends that I went to high school with are just stupid fucking kids. I mean, they're all like firefighters, cops, but they're just dumb
Starting point is 00:09:14 fucking kids. They raped your mouth. I mean, there's obviously fucking masks. Barney Brothers, shout out. Statue of Limitation just got extended. Be ready.
Starting point is 00:09:22 That made you who you are, though. Make no mistake it wasn't for that the Bill's character yeah you would have ended up being like an electrician or something
Starting point is 00:09:29 yeah sometimes you gotta hit one off the tonsils so so but I remember when 9-11 happened right
Starting point is 00:09:36 this kid he's a firefighter now of course fuck a firefighter he went outside a lot of 14 he which is another thing
Starting point is 00:09:44 that we do we have a subsidiary podcast called I'm Patrick Maroon this is Sean Terry and we're just a lot of 14 which is another thing that we do we have a subsidiary podcast called I'm Patrick Marooni this is Sean Terry and we're just a couple of five fighters that you know we work for a lot of 14
Starting point is 00:09:51 in New York City and we're doing an audio podcast yeah we're just doing an audio podcast and we can just say we can just speak freely about you know
Starting point is 00:09:59 certain topics you know no disrespect or anything like that but you know what I mean it's like yeah I'd like my coffee Leroy um yo what's up this is Akash
Starting point is 00:10:13 that was a preview of our Patreon episode if you want the full thing go to www.patreon.com slash flagrant2 join the illest community on earth unless you're a social justice warrior then you're just gonna ruin the fun

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