Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Sauce Monkeys feat. The History Hyenas
Episode Date: September 27, 2019This week Akaash, Kaz, and the History Hyenas (Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas) discuss:missing Apu, Tekashi69 snitching on everyone, praising Daniel Jones too early, the flagrant thought of the wee...k, and much more. INDULGE!! Want to hear the full episode? Become a Patron! www.Patreon.com/Flagrant2
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Welcome to Flagrant 2 No Easy Buckets Patreon Episode Water Cooler Commentary for Sports Needs Analysis by Assholes.
You know who you were just listening to.
Yes sir.
On my right is Kazim Famuide, the Nigerian nice guy.
Yes.
And across from us.
Yeah.
I'll take it.
Fuck it.
Yeah.
Across from us, we have the wildest boys we have had on this podcast.
Yes. Flagrant family, the history hyenas. They're like our flagrant it. Yeah. Cross from us, we have the wildest boys we have had on this podcast. Yes.
Flagrant family, the history hyenas.
They're like our flagrant cousins.
Yeah.
Y'all just heard some regular conversation.
They're not any different often on the podcast.
Yeah, yeah.
Giannis Pappas, Chris DiStefano, thank you guys for coming in.
What's up, guys?
Thanks for having us, guys.
Welcome back to the show.
We were with a lot of things to talk about.
We were just lamenting the loss of Apu.
I hope you guys don't think I thought he should be gone.
No.
I loved Apu.
We've talked about it on this podcast.
I just had a moment where I had an emotional R.I.P. Apu. It'd be happening to me once a poo. I hope you guys don't think I thought he should be gone. No, no. We've talked about it on this podcast. I just had a moment
where I had an emotional
R.I.P.
of poo.
It'd be happening to me
once a month.
I mean, rest in peace
to a legendary character.
You're one of the good
Sandra D's.
Wait,
what is a Sandra D?
I mean, right out of the gate.
It's a Patreon.
It's a Patreon.
When I got my chain out,
I'm saying guy
and I'm fucking ready to fly. When I got my chain out, I'm saying guy and I'm fucking ready to fly.
That's when I got my chain out, guy.
Yeah, I mean,
his whole personality's changed
since he put that chain back on.
And what's even funnier
about that chain
is his mother bought it
from him in high school
and he found it.
Yeah, when I got this chain out...
My mom bought me this, too,
by the way,
so I'm feeling the same way.
When I got this fucking chain out,
every thought ends
with Trump 2020.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
And he calls everybody guy, including women.
Yeah, I call everybody, yeah, I was like, guy or babe?
His mom called him, because today
I was walking in Bay Ridge and there's a lot of
hardcore Muslims
and there was a Muslim woman dressed headstow just her eyes
and I was like, have a nice day, babe, because I had to chain out.
I called a
full Muslim woman babe and then
looked into her eye that I could see.
We live in Bay Ridge, there's a lot of Muslims
why did she feel
that she was acknowledged
as a person for once
she looked confused
yeah
she just put her eyes down
she blinked twice
I don't know
what that means
in Muslim world
we got so many Muslims
in Bay Ridge
it's a huge
Muslim population
and I swear to God
a lot of my
neighbors are Muslim
and I don't know a lot of my neighbors are Muslim and I don't know
a lot of them
are in the full storm trooper
I get it
no
they're in the full storm trooper
so I don't know
sand troopers
yeah
sand troopers
yeah I don't know
if I'm saying hello
to my neighbor or not
because I see someone
who wears
you know
it's like is that my neighbor
I just say hello to everybody
because I don't know
if that's my neighbor
you're on the safe side it's funny though that's our neighbor? I just say hello to everybody. Because I don't know if that's my neighbor. You're on the safe side.
It's funny, though, that that's our neighborhood.
Because our neighborhood, Bay Ridge, is very much like those Muslim, true, devout Muslims.
And then also like the old school guidos.
Like Paulie Walnuts, Tony Sirico.
The actual actor who played Paulie Walnuts lives in Bay Ridge and walks past those people, too.
But what's happened, though, in a good way is like you see now
like Muslim people
coming into the pizzerias
and like Italians
with fucking chains out
being like
yeah I gotta go get
some fucking hummus guys
you know
like
and it's harmonious
so it's kind of
a beautiful thing
they're coming together
yeah they're coming together
they talk about each other
behind their back
but they live in the same place
they tolerate each other
to a point
I mean I wouldn't go above 86th street you know what I mean I got you, but they live in the same place. Yeah, it's like they tolerate each other. They're coming together to a point. I mean, I wouldn't go above 86th Street.
You know what I mean?
I got you.
I got you.
I feel the same way about Manhattan.
Yeah.
Okay, guys.
We normally start this episode with a flagrant thought of the week.
I know I texted you guys about this.
Do you have anything?
If not, no big deal.
I have a feeling we're going to be pretty flagrant.
Yeah, I said you were one of the sisters.
No, let's get to that.
So Sandra D, what does that mean?
I mean, I know what it means, but why does it mean that?
I'm going to be honest and explain.
You're going to let me to explain.
Because I got my chain on and I'm just scared.
I'm going to eat a donut while he talks.
Sandra Dee is a character from Grease.
Remember, look at me, I'm Sandra Dee.
No, I never saw Grease.
I'm not gay.
Yeah, well, it's it.
Oh, I thought you meant from Grease, like the country, the movie. No, no, the movie Grease. Remember, look at me, I'm not gay yeah well it's oh I thought you meant from Greece like the country the movie
no no the movie Greece
remember look at me
I'm Sandra Day
can you pull up a picture
is she brown
she's white
no
alright let me
can I just
we were saying
that movie was made
at a time
there were no brown entertainers
and that is shout out
to the woke crowd
because the woke crowd
is right about that
because you were talking
about a holding deal
you got and Chris said
something about hey if it was 15 years ago your money holding deal you got and Chris said something about hey,
if it was 15 years ago, your money would've been triple.
And I said if that was 15 years ago,
you wouldn't have had a holding deal
because you would've been behind the counter for 7-Eleven.
So but why?
Flagrant thought completed.
So Sandra Dee means you're from a part of the world
that has a lot of sand.
Oh, okay. Sand. Yeah, end it, Chris. So sandra D means you're from a part of the world that has a lot of sand.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, sand.
Yeah, end it, Chris.
Right there.
That's all I have to say about that.
Trump 2020.
It just has, there's a lot of desert.
Yeah.
And then we call Asian people Eastern Hemis.
Eastern Hemis from the Eastern Hemisphere.
That's my favorite.
It's no disrespect.
It's just, so we'll say like an Eastern Hemi.
Eastern Hemi. Yeah. But when the chain's down and it's above'll say like an Eastern Hemis. Eastern Hemis.
But when the chain's out and it's above 90 degrees,
the Eastern Hemis aren't safe around me.
I will say that.
After the whole Shane Gillis thing happened,
he just went outside and started staring down Chinese.
Yeah.
Put it this way.
One of our close friends on the podcast and my actual boxing instructor,
Paul Igasi.
Shout out, Paul Igasi.
What a guido.
Every fucking name is Paul Igasi. He's having Igasi. What a Guido. Every fucking name
is a body of walnuts.
He's having a funeral
for his dog Rocco tomorrow.
I swear to God,
this Rocco.
He's sitting in the backyard
dead serious.
He was like,
it's been a rough
couple of weeks for me.
I'm like,
okay,
well the dog should be buried.
It's decaying
in your backyard.
But he was like,
he calls,
because it's become
Bensonhurst,
Brooklyn now.
It used to be
like the old school
mafia Italian neighborhood
like 18th Avenue Feast. It was like Guido Central, right? Now it's mostly Bensonhurst, Brooklyn now. It used to be like the old school mafia Italian neighborhood, like 18th Avenue Feast.
It was like Guido Central, right?
Now it's mostly Eastern Hemis now.
A lot of Asians have moved in.
Benson Hemis.
And he says his address.
He'll say, he's like, my address, 7611 14th Avenue.
He goes, you know what I call this place?
The Italian Alamo.
He goes, this is the last stand.
We got Chinese attacking from all sides.
And he'll stand on his fucking porch
with his chain out
I got the fucking Alamo
cuz
he'll sit down
and have a cappuccino
he's the type
he's the type of guy
that when he gets
to the Brooklyn Bridge
he brings his passport
he's not sure
he hasn't been to the city
that many times
he's the kind of kid too
to make extra cash
for Christmas
he'll sell Tickle Me Alamos
out of the back of his trunk
he's just one kind of kid
oh yeah
swear to god to make some cash his dream is to make it big in the city Elmo's out of the back of his trunk. That's just what it is. Oh, yeah. I swear to God,
to make some cash.
His dream is to make it
big in the city one day.
He's got to make it
big in the city.
Yeah, one day he's going
to get it in the city.
Yeah, he told me,
we were talking the other day
and he was like,
yeah, he goes,
I met a guy who's got
some space for me
over there in the city.
He said,
I want to put a boxing gym
out there down there,
right downtown Manhattan,
in the city.
And he goes,
but I really can only pay
about $1,000 a month.
You think I'll make a deal?
I said, probably not. I would say, no. He goes, but I really can only pay about $1,000 a month. You think I'll make a deal?
Probably not.
I would say no.
Not for $1,000 a month.
I was like, it might be $1,000 a minute for somebody to train.
You guys are born and bred New Yorkers, right?
Yes, sir.
Who fucking coined the city?
Who started running with that first?
Was that black folks?
Was that Italians?
Was that just immigrants?
Oh the city?
The city If people don't live in New York
Manhattan is what we call the city
Right?
Yeah exactly
If you live in Brooklyn
And you say I'm going to the city
Oh we're going to the city
You're going to Manhattan
It doesn't make any sense
For me at first I was like
It's all New York City
What the fuck are you talking about?
It just shows how arrogant we are
Because you can even be like
If you're with a New Yorker
And you're in St. Louis
In the suburbs
And someone says
We're going to the city
The New Yorker's going to be like
We're going to Manhattan right now?
Yeah.
It's like the city.
It's going to be a long drive.
It's like one city.
We just consider it like-
It's the Ohio State of cities.
It's the Ohio State.
We look at other cities
and we look at them almost like Vegas casinos.
We're like, oh, this is a cute little,
looks like a fake New York.
Yeah, because let's be honest.
It doesn't even look real.
Listen, no disrespect to other people's cities.
I know you're from Texas.
Cal's, where are you from?
Bonaire area.
Bonaire, New York.
He matters.
Nobody cares.
No, no, the thing is,
I appreciate all,
I appreciate American cities.
I know New York can't do it on our own,
but I mean,
you know what I mean?
It's New York City
and then there's just everything else.
I heard somebody having a conversation
about how they feel like Houston
is really making a run for New York as being one of the best cities in the country.
And I'm like, it's not.
It's not.
The thing is, it's not.
I live in Houston.
If aliens come and invade this planet and we have to fucking fight for our survival as a human race, the meeting's going to be held in New York City and we're going to serve them Italian food.
It's just what it is.
Those are the two best things we have to offer as Americans.
Italian food in New York City.
The meeting's not going to take place in a Jimmy John's.
It's not going to happen.
Here's what I think.
It's not going to be a Papa Doe.
I think if we have to defend something, I said this on the last episode, you've got to go to the South.
Everybody there got guns.
Everybody there ready to fight.
Oh, no, no, no.
Absolutely.
I'm just talking about the sit-down.
No, no, those fucking Southern fucking maniacs, they're the front line of defense.
I can't fight, guy.
I can't fuck my chain up.
I'm not fighting, guy.
I'm talking about where they're going to hold it because you'll be like,
yo, we got New York City here.
I'm not going down to fight.
That's Billy Bob to do that.
You got that.
I'm going to say something that's uncomfortable,
but 9-11 wasn't in Chicago.
Yeah.
It wasn't in LA.
This is true.
It wasn't in Houston.
Yeah.
They knew where they were going.
They knew exactly where to go.
Yeah, they know how to cripple us.
I'm the wrong guy to make that observation.
I was about to say, like,
this is the second 9-11 show. I'm the wrong guy to make that observation. I was about to say, this is the second
9-11 show.
Only to the untrained eye.
To the trained eye,
you're okay
because you're Hindi.
I told him he looked
Trinidadian.
We had a whole thing
last week where I was like,
yo, if he said the N-word
and I was just a stranger,
I wouldn't blink twice.
With Trinidad,
there's a lot of Indians
in Trinidad.
Exactly.
This is the second
worst boat ride in history.
You're like a diet brown.
It's like a smooth hue.
It's not like,
oh yeah, that's it.
My friends that I went
to high school with
are just stupid fucking kids.
I mean, they're all like
firefighters, cops,
but they're just dumb
fucking kids.
They raped your mouth.
I mean, there's obviously
fucking masks.
Barney Brothers, shout out.
Statue of Limitation
just got extended.
Be ready.
That made you who you are, though.
Make no mistake
it wasn't for that
the Bill's character
yeah
you would have ended up
being like an electrician
or something
yeah
sometimes you gotta
hit one off the tonsils
so
so
but I remember
when 9-11 happened
right
this kid
he's a firefighter
now of course
fuck a firefighter
he went outside
a lot of 14
he
which is another thing
that we do
we have a subsidiary podcast called I'm Patrick Maroon this is Sean Terry and we're just a lot of 14 which is another thing that we do we have a subsidiary podcast
called I'm Patrick Marooni
this is Sean Terry
and we're just a couple
of five fighters
that you know
we work for a lot of 14
in New York City
and we're doing
an audio podcast
yeah we're just doing
an audio podcast
and we can just say
we can just speak freely
about you know
certain topics
you know no disrespect
or anything like that
but you know what I mean
it's like
yeah I'd like my coffee Leroy
um
yo what's up this is Akash
that was a preview of our Patreon episode
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