Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Saying Your First N-word
Episode Date: April 14, 2020This week Andrew Schulz, Akaash SIngh, and AlexxMedia discuss the first time you said the N-word, why Ellen DeGeneres is a monster, how Bernie Sanders is a sellout, if AOC is only successful because s...he's hot, why ordering dessert on a date is gay and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2
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They basically just said it's not masculine if a man orders dessert.
That's what it all boils down to.
What the fuck does dessert got to do with masculinity?
It kind of makes sense.
It kind of makes sense.
Why?
Yo, why you need something sweet, son?
You a little sweet?
This could be genius.
This could be black women trying to get black men to stop dying from heart failure and hypertension and all these things.
Maybe they just want to keep all the Cheddar Bay biscuits for themselves.
You know what I mean?
Cheddar Bay, son.
Hold on.
I want to go back.
Dessert is gay?
Is that what you guys are saying right now?
She's saying it, and I'll be ordering dessert,
and it's kind of gay now that I think about it.
All right.
I'm not going to stop.
Let me, let me, let me.
They gave you the small spoon.
No, no, no, no, no.
I don about it. All right. I'm not going to stop. Let me, let me, let me, let me. They gave you the small spoon. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah.
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to another episode of Flagrant 2.
I'm Andrew Schultz.
I'm here with Akash Singh,
Alex Media.
Yeah.
In the building.
You know it's a slow news day.
You know there's absolutely
nothing going on in sports when it's a slow news day. You know there's absolutely nothing going on in sports
when it is national breaking news
that a NASCAR driver has said the N-word.
I am shocked.
And I mean that.
I'm not even bullshitting you.
I am shocked that a NASCAR driver acknowledges black people exist.
That blew my mind, yo.
This guy mad progressive if you ask me.
Son, how woke are NASCAR fans that they complained about this?
Yo, that's a good ass point.
So everybody who's listening to this right now, there's this NASCAR driver named Kyle Larson,
who I just found out about today.
He's playing a NASCAR video game with tons of black people
because you know that's the video game
black people play during quarantine
is NASCAR iRacing.
And he thinks that he's, I guess,
not able to be heard or in a private chat
or something like that.
Maybe he thinks he's just talking to his teammate.
I don't know.
We just saw the video.
Yeah, so basically I think
it sounds like he He doesn't think
That he's live
So he
He just goes
Alex you wanna hit it for us
In his foot
Play it
I can hear you
You can't hear me
Hey nigger
Bob to the boss
Boss
Boss
Boss
Boss
Boss
So
He goes
And again
We're not defending this at all
But he goes Hey you can't hear me Right So he goes, and again, we're not defending this at all,
but he goes, hey, you can't hear me, right?
So he assumes he can't be heard.
And then he says the word that you fucking better be positive nobody can hear you when you say it, right?
It's like you're talking to your friend on the phone
or some shitty guy, like, yo, can you hear me?
Bitch, slut.
You just say the horrible words
because you know
they can't hear you, right?
Yeah.
Or like your girl's
got her headphones in
while she's cleaning
or some shit
and you just start
saying crazy shit.
Hey, ho, come here
and suck my dick.
She's like,
what'd you say?
Nothing.
Only this time
she wasn't with headphones.
This time the whole internet.
This time she had internet This time Shit
Pause the music all of a sudden
Unbeknownst to you
I'm just saying
If there's one game
That you would think you're safe
Saying the N word on
Isn't it iRacing NASCAR video game?
Maybe he's trying to
Like
Be more in touch with hip hop culture
And he just doesn't realize
You're not supposed to enunciate so much.
Son, he hit that R, bro.
Enunciate so much.
He did it.
He hit the R, son.
Son, he leaned into the R.
He hit the R, bro.
It sounded like a door was opening, right?
It was like,
and effortlessly dropped that M-bomb that's not his first m-word
you remember your first m-word
some black friends were like yo man you can't you don't ever say the word you say everything
else you'll make every racist joke you might as well just say it and if black people
challenge you to say it
and you don't say it
in my mind
I was like
am I a pussy?
I don't know
so they made me say it once
and then they were like
it sounded awful
don't ever say that again
they hurt my feelings
and I was like
I got got
my first N-word
was with two
no no
let me tell you
how real it is.
Let me tell you.
I've been told this story on either here or the Brilliant Idiots.
You have it.
This is news.
My first N-word, I was with two of my boys, both one black, one half black, half white,
right?
One of whom who's doing, who just got out of a lengthy prison sentence.
And the other one ended up robbing my family.
Sadiq-free? No, my family no no no no no this is
my boy alex another uh kid named wyman uh and and we were hanging out at alex's crib
and they kept dropping it yeah i didn't say it like oh here we go i literally said it in
conversation so they kept saying like yeah blah blah, blah, blah, blah, this, blah, blah, blah, that, da, da, da.
And I remember I went, yeah, these, and I said it, right?
And then I went, oh, my God, I cannot believe I said that.
Like, I did not have his reaction at all.
Like, I was so remorseful, but it just came out.
Like, I was around people who were just saying it.
I remember when I was in Spain, all of a sudden I'd be speaking Spanish a little better than I did the day before.
And I was like, I'm really learning this.
That's how I felt at Alex's crush in that moment.
Bro, I felt so fucking horrible.
Yeah, you felt mad Spanish because you're saying the N-word, but it's kind of weird that you're saying it.
But no, but later on, why am I going to rob my family's business?
So I think we're even.
I think that's reparations.
You didn't get 40 acres and a mule, but you got a little something.
How do you rob a dance studio?
Say again?
How do you rob a dance studio?
My dad and mom would like give, well, my dad would give uh my dad would like give my
friends jobs you know like it looked like uh they could learn something learn some responsibility
this type of shit and uh so he'd give them little jobs i mean he's just the fucking best yeah and um
so the job that he gave wyman i think was um was he would roll up.
He would count the money from the vending machine.
It's just cash right there.
Yeah.
And he just, you know, he started to notice that shit was going,
so he set up a little sting operation, you know.
That sucks for you, though.
You got to be the guy that's like, yeah, sorry, my friend is stealing from you.
And, you know, it's like, yeah, just, yeah, fucking, yeah, my friend is stealing from you. And you know what? It's like, yeah, just so you have fucking debt.
Yeah, I felt a little bad about it.
You know what I mean?
But it was like, but it was one of those things where it's like.
How incapable of remorse are you?
Yeah, I felt a little guilty.
No, no, I felt embarrassed for him, to be honest.
I felt embarrassed for Wyman.
I'd be livid at him.
No, I wasn't even that mad.
And my dad basically came to me he
he was like he just called his mom he's like hey i gotta tell you this like it's unfortunate like
i know it's uncomfortable i don't want this money back like it's yeah fucking 20 whatever the fuck
it is like that's not important to me i just want you to know and um and then we weren't really that
much you know that good friends anymore but he was like a really great kid he was fucking hilarious
and it's just that's what i was most upset about that he was like i thought this kid was like super
funny and like really brave yeah like i really admired him and then he did this stupid fucking
thing i mean brave enough to go to jail right no no that was the other that was the other friend
we're talking about our first N word.
Mark, what was yours?
I said today.
Al, do you remember your first N word?
Nah, that's like saying mama dada.
Mama dada?
So here's the question.
Does Kyle Larson
need to be forgiven
no
no
his fan base doesn't care
I'm gonna be honest
this is interesting
this could be
the best thing to happen
to NASCAR
keep going
there's a segment
of the population
that never gave a fuck
about a NASCAR race
I'm not tuning in
if you pay me.
Now, I might hate watch to make sure this guy's losing.
Fuck this.
This is the only time I've ever been remotely invested
in how a NASCAR race ends.
And it's just because I hope he loses.
Interesting.
So I'm paying some attention.
That's the first time that's ever happened in my life.
Interesting, because you want him to lose.
You want him to lose.
And doesn't he already lose?
Like, I don't know about this guy.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Well, he's going to win, though, because his fan base, it's like Trump.
No, no, but like, I don't know about him as a driver.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I assume I would know about him as a driver.
Oh, I assume he's not good, is what you're saying.
Yeah, yeah.
Probably not.
I wonder if sponsors drop him.
And the reason why I say it is because usually sponsors will drop you if they feel like it
will affect their bottom line.
Right.
But they must be going into this knowing that a lot of the fans don't really care if the
driver says the N-word.
They love him more.
Right?
Like in the same way that like, you know how like a sponsor, and recently it hasn't worked out this way, but like a sponsor can sponsor a rapper.
Knowing full well that the rapper is going to say some crazy shit about women and crazy shit about like guns and drugs.
Yeah.
But they'll still sponsor them.
Right.
Because they know the fans don't care if they say something about that.
Every once in a while, the non-fans catch wind of the rap lyrics.
Yeah.
And that's what happened with Fast and the Furious.
What's his name?
That rapper.
Move, bitch.
Oh, Ludacris.
Get out of the way.
Oh, Ludacris.
Yeah, yeah.
Remember, Ludacris lost a Pepsi deal or some shit.
Yeah.
There's a bunch of white ladies.
I think it was Oprah.
I think Oprah was the one.
That's why you don't like Oprah.
Yo, Oprah.
Oprah foul.
Yo, I've been fucking telling you.
Oprah foul.
Fuck Oprah.
I bet this bitch behind Corona too.
You think?
Who's it killing more?
Black males?
Who she hate?
No, it's not.
I just said that shit.
I don't know.
The news is saying it.
Come on.
Let me roll, yo.
My bad.
Let me be misinformed.
My bad.
My bad.
So yeah.
So I don't know if it will cost them anything.
And I don't know if.
I don't know.
Do black people care
do you care
that a NASCAR driver
said the n-word
this is the first time
I'm hearing about it right now
is it the way he said it
no I just
be honest
it's such a casual
you said
yeah
it was
it was the fact that he said it
if Trump called a white reporter
in
like he's having a press conference
and there's a white reporter
in front of him what
he goes he goes he goes he and he says that hey i'm gonna say ninja okay right if he goes uh be
careful yo i'm not gonna say ninja i'm gonna say uh i'm gonna say carter okay be careful not
i'm gonna say it's like hey white carter well what do you have what do you have to ask him but
he said the N-word?
That would be hilarious.
It would be fucking hilarious.
Sometimes it's too funny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It becomes too funny to be angry at?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the fact, once you throw white N-word in front of it,
oh, come on, son.
Come on.
You guys should be able to say that.
You could call another white person the white N-word.
Nah, because you can't, bro.
That shit is hilarious.
See how black people try to trick you into doing some shit?
This is how I'm all the black friends got me saying it.
Where's the place?
Good thing there's no vending machines.
Bro, that's a funny thing to do.
Like when we open up the studio again, people are coming back here.
Like have people do their confessional for their first N-word dude your first n-word because black people must know
that people have said it before yeah right yeah like they must know i think you all say it because
you listen to hip-hop and so alex listens alex polices when we're rapping along to corona's
got talent oh yeah he was leaning into me to make sure I don't say it.
I don't say it.
Come on, bro.
We don't say it.
I don't believe it.
We don't say it.
At least Mark keeps it real.
Mark says he says it, I hope.
Yeah.
We believe that.
He's not even from America.
He's from France.
They don't care about those things.
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.
If you're rapping along to lyrics, it's like, come on, son.
You're not releasing it in your brain.
If I get cut off by one of y'all.
Like, if I'm driving, bro, and I get cut off by one of y'all, like if I'm driving, bro,
if I get cut off,
then I won't say it,
but I'll say some other shit
that like gets out the same emotion.
To them though?
When you drive by,
do you look at them and see you're black
and they still keep that same energy?
I look at them and be like,
I bomb atomically.
I say Sophocles philosophies.
This fucking Socrates
cut me off
I'll say some other
rap lyrics
if you would've
really heard him
you'd look at him
and be like
you black cracker
yo
can you make
can you put
oh my god
that's how
that's how
you fuck the game up
finally we got one.
Reel this bad boy in.
I feel like them fat white people on the boat when they catch the swordfish.
It's Wicked Tuna.
I feel like Wicked Tuna is happening.
You black cracker.
Hey, switch the camera, you black cracker.
That hurts.
It's like a Hemingway novel And this is Andrew's black whale
This is sand cracker
If you don't shut the fuck up
So how do I did it?
We fucking did it Alex
Alex you did it
Holy shit
You invented something that made white people's lives even easier
This is like the new cotton gin
You saved racism Alex You saved it white people's lives even easier. This is like the new cotton gin. Oh, fuck.
You saved racism, Alex.
You saved it.
Oh my God.
Black cracker.
Sand cracker.
Dude, oh my God.
That shit is hilarious.
Sweet and sour cracker.
Yeah.
Bro, now you got it.
What is your thing? What is your thing?
What is your racist How do we be racist
Towards Indians?
That's how good it is
To be Indian
We can't even be racist
I know man
It's great
Oh yeah
I don't have like a slur
You have a slur
What is it?
You call me some shit
That you think I am
Exactly
Oh shit
We don't dislike Indians
Sandcrackers are about
Middle Eastern people
Indians
We like you
Everybody likes you
Curry cracker maybe Okay That's the worst thing That we call Indians Sand crackers are about Middle Eastern people. Indians, we like you. Everybody likes you.
Curried cracker maybe? Okay.
That's the worst thing that we call Indians is the shit that we eat.
That's delicious.
Didn't you have a bit about that?
Yeah.
What was it?
The worst thing you do to me is when you think I'm somebody else.
That's how you think you are.
No, no.
You had something about the curry, right?
That's not a diss.
It's like, you smell like curry.
It's like, yeah, curry's delicious or something like that.
I don't even remember, but yeah, way back in the day.
Maybe it was something you said on a podcast or some shit.
But I remember saying something.
But it's true.
It's like, I can't speak for black people.
I can speak for white people, some of us.
We love Indians.
Yeah.
We love you guys.
We're well-liked.
You're well-liked.
We're a popular minority.
We haven't even taken the time to find ways to hurt you.
Yeah.
The most we do is, da-da-da-da. Yeah, most we do is and that's what you fucking sound
like that's what you fucking sound like and look like okay you fucking do you fucking do the chinese
virus is from china okay and indians sound and look like this okay if you want to say southern
white people go,
whatever they fucking sound like,
it looked like too.
It's a pandemic.
We don't have time for pleasantries.
It's a pandemic.
Oh,
it's a pandemic.
Oh,
breathe.
You black cracker.
As well.
Black cracker. Oh, that's the name of this episode
It's gotta be Black Cracker
Black Cracker for sure
Son okay so what is your
What were you
What are you gonna call people
You get to call people
White N word
Yes
Or sand N word
Yeah
And it's okay
What are you gonna call people
You have nothing
We don't have one
White Curry
Camel Jockey is just like a lot.
I like it.
It's a mouthful.
What?
It's a mouthful.
Camel jockey.
It's too many syllables?
It's four syllables, yo.
That's a lot, bro.
You know what?
And it kind of sounds cool.
You black camel jockey.
It's fire, son.
I'm telling you, it's impossible to diss Indians bro
We love them
Camel jockey assumes you own
Wild stock
Imagine I call you
You fucking horse rider
You equestrian motherfucker
You equestrian
You know how wealthy you gotta be to own equestrian
Camels ain't cheap
Bro how do you offend Indians dog
Packy hurts But Packy isn't them They're not Pakistani Camels ain't cheap Bro how do you offend Indians dog What about Paki Paki hurts
But Paki isn't them
Yeah but yeah
They're not Pakistani
It actually doesn't
I'm just like eh
What are you gonna do
I don't like them either
No that's what it is
Dot head
Dot head
Nah that one's good
That one stings a little
I see that one sting
You fucking But towel head is not that's that's
punjabis oh yeah yeah yeah that's indians but even that i feel like they mean it for
yo son they got a towel on their head like how are you upset about that they mean it for uh
who you call it muslims yeah but they mean it Eastern people. If they did mean it for Punjabi people.
Yeah.
Can they really be that upset?
Yeah, dog.
When they get out of the shower,
what they dry off with?
A towel.
You saying when they don't have any towels left
and they see their pug sitting right there?
It's pug, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When they see that shit sitting there
and there are no towels, you don't think they look at that shit and be like, ah, yeah yeah. When they see that shit sitting there and there's no towels
you don't think
they look at that shit
and be like
ah fuck it
and just unravel that shit
and then dry off?
You know how you use
the little towel
when you got no towels left?
You know how you use
the hand towel
and like slowly
wash yourself down
like one of them divers
with the shit
that absorbs everything?
Yeah yeah yeah.
Nah you just
I'm sure you just wrap it up.
No it's unwrapped.
Yeah.
But you're not gonna put it and then put it on your head. It just put on top of your head wet the whole shit and then put on your head
you gotta wrap it anyway it's not encased is it shut the fuck up what do you mean
the pug it's called a pug right it's not a beanie it's not like it it's not a helmet yeah you actually
have to do the wrapping correct so if you unraveled it yeah you could dry off yeah it's a lot yeah
yeah i know you gotta put push back here yeah it's a towel hey it's a towel it's more like a
linen to be honest it's a linen you fancy fucking towel
it's more like a bed sheet it is a bed sheet if they said sheet heads
shit heads what a fucking name how did we miss that one
yo did you have a disturbance did i say that no no no dastarbandi is when they
is the uh celebration of when it happens yeah did you have one no because he's not uh punjabi
no oh my bad yeah we learned about that yeah from dastarbandi i'm getting cultured from comedy
i was asking this dude because he had a massive fucking turban at the comedy show and he didn't know,
he's like,
at 12 you get your turban.
Before that,
you don't have to wear one.
Right.
And so I had a little joke.
I was like,
ah,
you're the opposite of Drew.
It's like,
you get a little more
on your head there.
And then I go,
what is it called?
He goes,
I don't know.
I don't know what
the celebration is called.
Some other guy goes,
the startup on the,
so that's what it is.
So at 12 years old
when your son,
who's definitely going to be
fully Punjabi
Fully sick
You should know that
We're going to buy that kid a fucking sheet
Maybe a long one yo
We're going to wrap him up dude
Like fucking luggage at the airport
You know that plastic shit
Maybe a long one yo
That's a process
To wrap it up
I'm saying i
think dot head or towel head isn't too fucking crazy i don't it don't hurt that's what i'm
saying it's like who gets hurt by towel head that's fucking pathetic it's yeah that really
you can't make it through the day someone calls you a towel head when you got a fucking towel
on your head it's like calling someone
taxi driver.
I think if I was actually sick,
it would bother me
because it's like a religious thing.
Now you're coming at my religion
and that would bother me more than...
Take that up with the guy
who said put a towel on your head.
Basically.
It's like being upset.
Let's say calling a Jew
a yarmulke head
or napkin head.
Like really, you that upset? Saucer head? It's kind of funny. Let's say calling a Jew a yarmulke head or napkin head. Like, really?
You that upset?
Saucer head?
That's kind of funny.
Right?
Hey, tea saucer head.
Like, if you're Jewish and you're that upset when you got a tea saucer on your head.
Yeah.
I can't wait to call somebody a Jewish cracker so that shit is going to slap.
Jewish cracker is a cracker, though. I know i know yeah but what is it bro is the wait no no you're not allowed to use our words you gotta call them a jew
the problem with yours is everybody kind of wants to be called it yeah because it's like a rite of
passage yeah but once you not once you put what they are in front of it it's now it's like a rite of passage. Yeah, but once you put what they are in front of it, now it's not cool anymore.
You think?
Call him a white N-word.
See how it hits.
Yeah, call me white.
Yo, that's my white.
But the R at the end, I think, will hurt you.
All right, hit me with the R.
Say it.
Say it.
Even I feel uncomfortable saying it with the R.
It's okay.
It's easier with the N.
Roll your R, you Puerto Rican.
You white nigger.
No, that sounded fun You made that shit sound fun
That shit sounded festive
That shit
That sounded festive
That shit fly bro
That sounded festive yo
Oh my god
Afro Latinos gotta take the M word back bro
That's funny
That was good Yeah So this is my white nigga right here Oh my god, Afro-Latino's gotta take the M word back, bro. That's funny.
That's good.
Yeah, so this is my white nigga right here.
Ooh, that's his thug.
That's his thug.
It's that R.
It's that fucking R.
Yeah.
And then can you call him the sand one?
Why is this hard?
It's hard, yo.
It's hard to hate.
Shut up, sand nigga up sand nigga god damn
Alex
god damn
I'm just gonna take that
you sand cracker
son
son this is too much fun
you need a good one bro
I don't have one yo
towel head
it's long though
cracker towel head is you white towelhead
no that don't hit we'll find white dot head white dot head it don't none of it slaps yeah you don't
have one if you haven't experienced good racial oppression this game ain't for us it's not but
white people we haven't experienced it but you got a good slur because black people hate you and
they thought of a cool one Well any black people that hate us
Then they'll think of some cool shit
That's so true
Black people are so rhythmic
Yeah
That they found the beautiful word
Cracker
Cracker ass cracker
That's what my favorite was Chris Rockbiz
Oh my god
Put my foot in the cracker ass
Cracker ass cracker
Dude he is one of the most hilarious
Black crackacker comments Kyle Larson
Thank you for
Providing us
With this
This fucking amazing
Oh my god
This amazing entertainment
Okay guys
Now
Some other things
Going on
First of all
How's everybody at home?
Y'all doing good?
You dealing with this
Quarantines?
Good?
Is everything Gucci?
I hope so
You know
There's been a
Akash sent me over this story
That I thought was pretty interesting
It was about
Oh yeah
Yeah it was about Ellen
Akash you want to set this thing up?
So Ellen
Everybody I know
My perception of Ellen
Is Ellen is the greatest
nicest lady just the best comes out on talk shows like a white oprah giving away shit all the time
everybody gets gifts also much like white oprah apparently not that great of a person in real life
and i had heard this once or twice before but i kind of just dismissed it as like sometimes you
hear these little hollywood rumors and you don't it's like how seriously can i take it yes and then someone started a thread on twitter that was basically
just i'll donate two dollars for to some charity for every shitty story i get of ellen ellen just
a story of ellen being me and he got like thousands of responses or something crazy like that what and
then he ended up taking like 150 or something that sounded believable yeah and some of them he rounded up to 300 and then uh and then donated the
600 now it's a little unfair because you're rewarding people for saying the shitty stories
but i was speaking i was speaking to certain people whose opinions i respect and they were
telling me uh that a lot of these uh that he heard were absolutely true and from sources that he
believes are now it's interesting that all of a sudden that people are coming out now i think
this is what happens when their people are concerned that we're not going to go back to
business as usual like when you feel like you could use ellen for your career you want a writing
job etc yeah then you're with it but when you're like oh we're not going back to normal then we
might as well blow the whole thing up Yes And I think that's what's happened
Because you see a lot of like people in the industry
Like people that are
Respectful
You know like respected
Did you hear anything beyond
These stories are true?
Or
Meaning
Did you hear anything additionally?
Did you get any other inside info?
I just got
Inside info
That
That these stories are I can't say they're true because I'm not there, but of people we know.
So it's not some random person that was like a PA on the show.
It was like a writer or a comic that we know, both of us.
Okay.
And we're like, why would she lie about that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She.
She is interesting.
Why would she lie about that?
I want to get it up because I want to read some.
Yeah, the first I heard about it was somebody, and this is actually about another guy he wrote for james corden and then somebody was
like was how was he he's like nah he's not that nice and everybody the guys are like really he
seems so nice he goes it's the same shit ellen does you know you seem really nice on camera and
off camera it's not like that and then so this is what we're working with yeah go on go on go on
yeah but then i was just like really ellen and he was like yeah when the cameras ain't on ellen is here's some of the uh
things that the accusations made against on tv writer benjamin simon replied to porter's tweet
with she is a sensitive nose so everyone must chew gum from a bowl outside her office before
talking to her and if she thinks you smell that day, you have to go home and shower.
Reasonable.
That's fine.
I think what happens is, like,
she's the king or queen or fucking bull dyke.
I don't know what you call it, right?
The bull cracker. The bull cracker.
She's the bull cracker, right?
Of her kingdom.
So when you have your kingdom,
you decide the rules.
Yeah.
David Letterman used to have a rule.
Even if you're like a guest on the show, nobody walks down the hall.
Nobody's in the hall when he's walking down the hall.
That's interesting.
Which in my mind, people were making an asshole thing.
But I'm like, he probably just wants his time before the show.
You don't want people to interrupt you.
I want this uninterrupted.
Come up to him.
I want to get in the zone.
That's another thing.
What I'll try to do, and I'm sure our guys will try to do, is we'll make arguments for
why these are reasonable.
Yeah, because I'm hearing them.
I'm like, why?
What a fucking asshole.
But sometimes there are good arguments for people acting what is perceived as a dickhead.
No, I won't defend all these.
That's the one that I was like, I guess like.
Son, the only issue I have with that is they don't, they shouldn't make people take gum right before they enter the office of the building like you should have good breath for
everybody in the building like we've all worked with people whose breath fucking stink yeah and
then you gotta talk to this guy all day yeah right there's this guy following around charlamagne
remember that writer dude who wrote uh uh gangster american gangster yeah yeah the old white man were
you working with us back then so the old I don't think so. So the old white guy that wrote American Gangster,
he was following Charlamagne around
to write a New York Times article.
And this guy would close talk to you
and his fucking mouth stunk.
His breath stunk.
It smelled like tuna sandwiches.
It was horrendous.
And I remember this entire time
going like,
I wish there was some way
where I could force him
to clean his mouth.
And I'll say this about that story. If Diddy did that, be like that's great diddy's great diddy's the best if
that's a diddy story i'm on board yeah i guess we already have it in our minds he's kind of an
asshole and he's brutally honest and all that but like i'd be like yeah that's diddy and also if she
framed it like this she was like everybody here deserves to work in a environment yeah that is conducive to conversation
so you must take a bite of this gum when you come in so your breath is good sometimes you don't
realize your breath is good but you must do it and also if you smell bad you're not showering
you're insulting the people who work around you yep easy sell this is great i think i think you
tell them in a nice way you don't force them to go home and shower. No, you got to go home.
Because that's like telling everybody in the office, hey, this person stinks today.
Go the fuck home.
Or you can nicely bring them to the side and be like, you know, is everything okay?
And like just what if they're going through something, they're depressed or some shit like that?
Like don't embarrass them in front of the whole staff.
That shit works, bro.
Also, sensitive nose.
It's a woman.
Like everybody in here
Got a girl
And they got some weird
And probably we have one too
But I'm too sexist to admit it
They got some weird
Personal quirk
That you're like
Ah that's just some shit
She does
I mean
She's just
She does this thing
She hates this thing
Whatever
Like I don't
You don't call her out
In public
No
I won't call my girl out
But every girl
Has these like Idiosyncratic,
like, this is just a weird thing I'm finicky about.
Ellen got a strong-ass nose.
That's what she said.
Ellen's thing is she got a strong-ass nose.
And if you're fucking worth hundreds of millions of dollars
and the motherfucker smells to you,
you can send her home.
That I don't think is super nice.
Next, next, next.
A new staff member was told every day
she picks someone different to really hate.
It's not your fault.
Just suck it up for the day and she'll be mean to someone else the next day.
They didn't believe it, but it ended up being entirely true.
That I can believe and I do know people like that.
Isn't that better than being mean to everyone?
Nah, yo.
Like, think about it.
You're just mean to one single person at the office.
Because that's bullying.
And we won't stand for bullies on any level.
Oh, you're a bully.
You bully me all the time.
We do not bully you, son.
You're a fucking bully, bro.
Nah, son.
Oh, gosh, you're a bully.
Shut the fuck up and do the next tweet.
See what I'm talking about?
Holy moly.
Holy moly.
Bro, this guy goes on Crow's Got Talent.
He can't wait to trash motherfuckers.
They ain't even singing yet.
That's the best thing.
I love that shit.
No, I didn't trash anybody.
Only the guy who just said, hey, look at my weed.
I have no talent.
All right, man, grow up.
Grow the fuck up, dog.
I was actually going to tell you that.
I was going to tell you.
Drew needs to start fucking getting at these motherfuckers more.
Treat it like the front row at your shows.
I do.
If anybody can be the Simon, it's you.
Say again?
Mark be the most vicious, yo.
Yeah.
Mark be low-key sniping all these people, yo.
He be scared, bro.
He be shitting on everybody, yo.
Here's the thing.
Yeah, but he says it under his breath in the back.
Like, they don't really hear that shit.
After they leave the chat.
You got to do it to their face.
You got to do it like Kyle Larson, bro.
You got to do it to their face.
You got to do it like Kyle Larson, bro.
My feeling of this is like, yes, I'm going to roast people and I'm going to fuck with them.
But at the same time, you got to understand, like, a lot of times these people, when they join the Corona's Got Talent thing, they're like, yo, man, it's so great to meet you.
I love your stuff. You're in a very tough spot there.
Like, nobody's a fan and respects Simon Cowell.
You know what I mean?
Like, no one looks at Simon Cowell and be like, you are great at what you do.
What do you do again?
Yeah, they don't love him beyond America's Got Talent.
Yeah, they're like, you have an opportunity for me.
I want to use you for your opportunity.
I'm saying you're the one who could get away with it.
Or maybe Alex can.
But I do be fucking with them.
You know what I mean?
And also, it's hard.
If, like, somebody's singing and they're nervous and it's like,
I want to build them up.
It's like, yo, I don't want to shit on this person. But guy who's like hey bro i love you look at my weed they get it fuck
yourself yo no they get it these people get it the other thing is like i truly want people to
do their best yeah so if i started out trashing them 100 well but if their shit sucks then we go
after it yeah you know unless it's a delusional girl and she's just singing crazy then that's just fun to watch so everyone request to come on groda's got talent okay uh i worked uh real food
daily served her at brunch she wrote a letter to the owner and complained about my chip nail polish
not that it was on her plate but just that it was on my hand i had worked till closing the
night before and this was the next morning i almost got fired a letter's crazy writing a letter the level of white woman that is to write a letter
that's wild yo yeah she's that's wild yo writing a letter motherfuckers when they have another food
one crazy she polices her crew's lunch orders Nobody allowed to eat fish
They would come hide on our stage
To eat when they wanted to
Be away from her
Yo
That's great
You still feel these are reasonable?
Say what?
You still standing by their reason?
You don't want to smell fish all day bro
This guy
If you don't have to
If you don't have to
Fish is fantastic Now if you got 150 people If you coming into my office If you don't have to Fish is fantastic
Now if you got 150 people
If you coming into my office and you got to chew gum
Cool I'm talking to 5 people a day
150 people on the show and none of them can eat fish
Nah this one's fire right here
An old friend worked on her lot
Smiled and said good afternoon to her one day
And she became unhinged
Who do you think you are
You don't look at me
Yada yada yada That bitch is real bro
Ellen is not fucking around bro
Come on
Come on yo
Yo where's the one
There was one foul ass one
Where
Somebody's gonna go
To another job
And then Ellen like
Begs them like
Yo please stay Don't take this job They go to Ellen Respectfully and like Ellen begs them, like, yo, please stay.
Don't take this job.
They go to Ellen respectfully and like, yo, I'm going to take this other job.
It's a great opportunity, whatever.
Ellen's like, please, I need you.
Please, you've got to stay with me, whatever.
Fired the bitch a week later.
No.
Word.
Yeah, it's there somewhere.
I don't see it.
Let me see if I can find it.
Maybe it's in the first and more.
But that's wild.
But you know what?
This is what it's like when you have a girlfriend.
This is what I think a lot of people don't realize, right?
It's like, we're shocked.
We're shocked that a woman is capable of these things.
And under normal circumstances, you should be shocked, right?
But then you realize that she's a bull.
She's a bullcracker.
She's a bullcracker, right?
And when you're a bullcracker, you have to deal with a woman.
And she flips bitches, right?
I don't think Portia rossi was probably also
a bull i think we're just assuming that because she was cute are you just assuming that she was
pretty 100 i don't believe in beautiful lesbians bro i don't believe in beautiful bullcrackers bro
i don't think they exist dog for real i have so i heard that like beautiful bullcrackers i heard
this like 10 years ago from another alex for cool with. He's like, they're all bi.
Every pretty lesbian is bisexual.
If you're a beautiful bullcracker. And I have yet to see that disproven.
Yeah, if you're a beautiful bullcracker.
Gorgeous bullcracker.
Gorgeous, beautiful bullcracker is fun too.
But if you're like a bad bitch, beautiful bullcracker.
There's no way you're 100% lesbian.
I can't buy that.
If you're a bad bitch, beautiful bullcracker.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can't be.
If you're a beautiful bad bitch bullcracker.
Son, there's no way.
There's no way.
You know what Ellen is?
She's just Macaulay Culkin from Home Alone, grown up. Like if Macaulay Culkin, what's her name? Macaulay Culkin From Home Alone Grown up Like if Macaulay Culkin
What's her name
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah what's the character's name
Kevin McAllister
She's Kevin McAllister
Grown up
Yo I know you know
That cracker's name yo
Son I did not know
That cracker's name
But I think that
Yeah I think she's just
The grown up version of that
And that's fine
And she's a fucking bitch
But you know what
That's what it is
That's when you have to deal
With some annoying wife All day That's gonna wear on you if you have to go home and deal with your
annoying wife who probably has shitty ass breath okay probably loves eating fish all she's doing
is correcting the wife shit at home at work so she don't gotta deal with that at work you gotta
blame portia derossi portia is that her name yeah i gotta see this bitch yeah
she's she's pretty she's pretty she's pretty bullcracker she's a pretty bullcracker yo
what i'm trying to find this story i can't find it but it's there somewhere this funny bitch
yeah she's in arrested development yeah she is what I didn't know she was lesbian she didn't give me lesbian vibes
when I watched
I don't think she is
Arrested Development
there you go
and then
another one she had
Anne Hesch
another one she flipped
Ellen flips bitches bruh
nah
Ellen may be
Tiger King
she's the fucking
Joe Exotic
she's Tiger King
she's fucking
Joe Exotic
she's not even a lesbian son she's no ellen's lesbian
no no this girl porsche neither of them are lesbian wow yes wow it all makes sense it all
makes sense now so your deal also ellen is stressed because she's knows she has uh she knows that she
has a woman at home that really isn't into her yeah she's into the lifestyle she's into the power
she's into the opportunity that ellen can give you. She's into the opportunity that Ellen can give you.
But she's not really into you.
So you're stressed.
That hurts you.
That's Joe Exotic.
Yeah.
That shit makes all the sense.
That's it.
Yo, she...
Offs herself, son?
No, she's not going to off herself.
But... God damn. You never know. That's not going to off herself. But. God damn.
You never know.
That's not off herself.
Dark.
Yeah, real talk.
I'm looking for a story.
I just try to pop in and contribute.
You know what I mean?
That's all.
Anyway.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second and pay some bills here.
Now, look, you're inside.
You haven't had a haircut.
Your hair is growing.
All right.
Maybe some of you guys are realizing that that hair's thinning,
maybe you were moving so fast that you didn't realize that you were thinning before, but you've
had a lot more time to look in the mirror, and you're like, damn, some of my shit is going,
well, guess what, you don't have to lose it all, that's right, matter of fact, you can even have
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Keeps.com slash flagrant. Go get right now let's get back to next let's talk about something else yeah who fucking cares um what else do we got what else do we got what else do we got
you think oh floyd i want to know your take on floyd saying he wants to be not only a boxing
trainer yeah tbe he wants to be the best. Boxing trainer. The best ever. The best ever boxing trainer.
So being the best ever boxing trainer requires some luck because you have to have the best ever boxer.
Nobody can take someone who's trash and then turn them into the best ever.
Right.
Fair enough.
So Roger Mayweather, his uncle who trained him for the majority of his career, might go down as one of the best trainers ever because he trained the best fighter ever.
Yeah.
You know? and so you
need some luck you need to spot some talent and you also need to be able to like nurture that
talent and make sure that these other promoters don't steal them from you etc i don't think that
he's going to want to put in that work and i don't think he's going to want to put in that effort
and i also don't think that he's going to find an athlete that is as dedicated as Floyd was.
So like the thing about Floyd is he had unbelievable skills, but he wasn't so athletic that he can't teach it.
Like, for example, if Vince Carter, maybe that's a bad example let's name an athletic freak this is a better example shack yeah shack can't teach anyone how to play basketball
right because shack had something that no one else has right and that's how he dominated basketball
while he did have a nice touch and all these things, at the end of the day, he's 300 pounds and he can bounce around on his tippy toes.
Nobody else can do that.
Mad light-footed, can dance his ass off.
Unbelievable.
Hakeem Olajuwon can teach you how to play basketball.
Charles Barkley can teach you how to play basketball.
Unbelievable athletic, but he's 6'4 and he's getting rebounding titles?
Yeah.
He can teach you things.
That's why they say point guards make the best coaches, right?
Because they're the smallest guy on the fucking floor. they have to learn how to play this game up here t.j mcconnell is going to make a great coach one day trash nba player
a decent nba player but coach he'll be unbelievable right so i think floyd in my opinion knows the
game of boxing so fucking well
that he can teach someone to be a great boxer.
And the reason I say that is not because of his physical ability.
It's because he didn't have a single hole in his game.
And when you don't have a hole in your game at all,
you've studied the game well.
So the defense was impenetrable.
He had a counter to anything that you could possibly throw at him.
I think he can teach that to someone.
Is he going to get lucky enough to have a generational talent under him He had a counter to anything that you could possibly throw at him. I think he can teach that to someone.
Is he going to get lucky enough to have a generational talent under him during that reign as a trainer?
I don't know.
We'll see.
I don't think he's going to have the patience for it.
One, I don't know if he's going to have the patience.
Two, I don't know if a generational talent of a boxer
is going to be willing to swallow their ego
to be trained by someone more famous than them
yeah that is rare you're the up-and-coming boxer you're giovante davis giovante davis wants to be
the man but when you with floyd you're not the man right and i don't know if a young boxer can
handle that two things one to your point to that point somebody said this about racing and boxing
like foot racing like running are the two most the two sports that require the most confidence
yeah i have to know i'm gonna knock this motherfucker out there cannot be a shadow of a
doubt otherwise it's over same with a foot race i have to know i'm faster than this guy why does
a foot race do that it's just the same like track star mentality of just like, he was just like, it's just
you.
It's an individual sport.
Yeah.
And it's just the most primal shit.
Running and fighting are the two most primal things.
I don't know about that running thing, but go on, make your point.
I don't want to interrupt.
If you're a boxer, you have to have an ego.
You have to.
This is a primal thing.
I'm literally trying to survive out here.
Yeah.
So if you need an ego, you probably won't be able to swallow your ego
for fluid because you need that ego yeah whereas a basketball player you're one of 12 one of 14
whatever there's a coach always okay i can defer to my coach i can swallow my ego i'll get my time
on the floor whatever i think it's different if you're a boxer because it's just you yeah and it's
the shit that requires the most ego yeah like if i think i could knock a motherfucker out you know
how fucking egotistical that is how yeah confident that is yeah my my thought was i don't know if this is
a real thing floyd is doing or if he's just trying to shift a narrative that suddenly popped up
last week with nba young boy and his oh 100 100 like i don't even that'd be daddy right now yeah
i don't even think this is real yeah it might not be real at all and it might be him shifting
narrative and then that's that's kind of smart but um i mean if he's trying to do it this son there's no way
you there's never in history will a successful never in history will a six a super successful
wealthy boxers kid be greater than him never the only time it's ever happened
and not greater than him but be as successful in their field the only time it's ever happened and not greater than him but be as successful in their
field the only time it's ever happened was with leila ali so muhammad ali and then leila and
leila was the best female boxer of the time but like how many female boxers are there they're
not even like professional athletes right yeah they all have like side jobs they work at fucking
fedex or some shit like that it's not you're not really competing against the best in the world. Right. Right? But what you have to go through as a human to go to boxing is so intense.
You have to have no other opportunity.
Right.
You have to have nothing else in your life.
Right.
You go to boxing because you have nothing.
Greg Hardy is an MMA fighter right now.
Yeah.
Greg Hardy was an NFL star.
Yeah.
Now he's an MMA fighter.
Why is he that? Because he got arrested and his career is over. His NFL career is over. Yeah. Greg Hardy was an NFL star. Yeah. Now he's an MMA fighter. Why is he that?
Because he got arrested and his career is over.
His NFL career is over. Exactly. There's
no other opportunity for that man
on this planet. Right. It is
be a bouncer at a nightclub in
Vegas or be
in the MMA. Right. Simple
as that. His
kid, Floyd Mayweather's kid
has tens of millions of dollars in his name already probably
you cannot go out there and get punched in the face and be willing to risk it all
if you have that kind of money i mean your bank it makes sense that boxing would be the most like
that but i can't think of a father son sports parent in any sport where junior was ken griffey ken griffey was good ken griffey senior how good was he
you can have del curry steph curry you can have good point good point a good player or like a
pretty good role player and then his son is a fucking star that happens you're right you're
right that's a great point which is they don't have the extreme circumstances necessary to dedicate themselves maniacally to a sport to be great.
And it also seems like, I mean, this is going off of Zaire, Wade, and Bronny.
They don't seem, it seems like to get to the NBA at least, it's just such a fucking genetics lotto
beyond everything.
Yeah.
And those guys won the lotto
and their kids got great genes,
but not the same.
It's not lottery genes.
It's not lotto genes.
Yeah.
These are mega millions.
Fucking LeBron James,
that's one of one human beings on earth.
Yeah.
Ham, Zion,
there's like a handful of those guys.
Your kid's not going to be that.
Yeah.
Your kid will be athletic as fuck.
It won't be you.
Yeah. Yeah. You are the freak. you are the random mutation yeah yeah now that's a good point it rarely happens though you do see mediocre professionals or like
college level players producing these amazing kids right and not all of them but a lot of times it
happens joe bean brian yes yeah yes yes uh you know clay thompson yeah uh steph curry like
all these guys and dell was no slouch he was a really good player but i think what happens is
you pass on some good genetic material yeah but you also pass on uh work ethic and training and
the understanding of the game and the understanding of the game and with floyd because his dad was a
boxer yeah his dad was a boxer and his dad or his uncle was really successful.
It was like multiple,
you know.
But those are the guys
that also got to rely
on their mind more.
Like Floyd did
but when you're Del Curry,
you got to rely
on understanding the game
more than a genetic freak,
more than a,
I don't know,
he wasn't good
but Corey Maggette
was a genetic freak.
Yes.
He didn't have to require,
Del had to know the game,
had to understand everything.
Yeah.
So he could pass that
on to Steph.
Yeah. And Steph got the resources
And Steph can
Or you know
He can craft the perfect jumper
Whatever
Learn how to play point guard
And then he's good
And the shoes weren't too big to fill
And the shoes weren't
Sometimes the shoes are too big to fill
Yeah
And that just weighs on you
That shadow
You can't get out of the shadow
Like Austin Rivers
Yeah
I think Doc's shoes are too big
And I don't think they're too big as a player but i
think as a coach yeah they're actually too big right and he just can't get out of that fucking
shadow and that weighs on him like psycho psychologically like you also need to be a
little bit of a sociopath you know to be successful as a sport yeah and um i think that's one of the
most impressive things about lebron is that he's not that sociopathic, at least doesn't seem it.
Yeah.
You know, maybe he'd have seven rings if he was.
Yeah.
But he's so good, he can have empathy and still win.
Yeah.
That's rare, bro.
And again, I'm reading this book.
It's called The Soul of Basketball,
and it goes through the 2011 season when the Mavs won the championship.
And Pat Riley does some interviews, and he talks about LeBron.
He's like, don't get that shit shit twisted he wants to win more than anything
yeah but it seemed like Riley had trouble understanding that LeBron was like fragile
in certain ways and like he couldn't really be the villain whereas Kobe is just no problem being the
villain I don't give a fuck who likes me any means necessary LeBron wants to win but like he was very
uncomfortable being the villain yeah but he and he also needed things his way he didn't like most players he's like like routine lebron didn't seem to like the routine
yeah you know another little interesting story he said i don't know if you remember the beginning
of that year when the heat first formed the big three they were like losing a lot of games and
there was one game against the mavericks early in the year where spolster was trying to talk to
lebron the coach was trying to talk lebron lebron just like bumped his shoulder and walked past him yes and every there was this huge
national story and lebron was like yo i didn't even see him i don't know what the deal was whatever
the next day they had a meeting bosh wade and lebron with pat riley and then pat's talking to
them whatever explaining they're saying their piece lebron is looking down for the most part
and then at the end of the meeting he goes yeah don't you ever get the itch and pat's like what itch and he goes the itch to coach and pat's like
guys i'm not gonna coach that's not gonna be a thing and then lebron is like all right fine and
as he gets up to walk out he starts scratching his thigh like hey it's itchy over here you need
to start scratching and pat still wouldn't do it but it's interesting lebron was ready to get spo out
for real for real like he's dropping his to pat riley yeah let's get this guy fired yeah it's
cool little stories like that you hear about this season i'm surprised wade didn't protect him
because that was always wade's guy i think it was pat's guy the most who spolster yeah maybe he was
pat's guy but he was was Wade's personal coach.
Like when Wade was on the team, you know, each assistant coach will usually handle a player.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he was Wade's handler.
Okay.
So I think that's how he kind of got grandfathered into that head coaching position because Wade was cool with it and he was the Don.
Right.
Right? But yeah, again, he was obviously,
you really earned the respect of Pat Riley
because I think he started as like a tape guy.
He was like a video tape.
Yeah, some shit like that.
And I think Riley was just like,
I believe in this guy.
This is the guy.
I don't care.
And I think Wade also wanted,
at that point,
it's all like they're all trying to be finicky and whatever.
And yeah.
A lot of people don't realize also that like the decisions on the team don't always get made by the coach.
The coach executes the decisions of the front office.
Right.
So if the front office says to the coach, hey, we want to double LeBron.
Yeah.
Then you double LeBron.
And the coach executes that to the player.
And that's a healthy team.
That is a healthy team.
That is a team that has culture.
Now, a team like the Dallas Mavericks, right?
Yeah.
They'll probably give the keys to, what's the guy?
Carlisle.
Yeah, to Carlisle, right?
And they'll go, he does look like Jim Carrey.
And then they'll give the keys to them,
but you can do whatever you want because we trust you.
Right.
But a brand new guy, like a Nick Nurse on the Raptors,
you bring him in because you trust him,
but you also say, Nick, we want to do this,
and that's up to you to execute.
If the coach you trust to instill a culture,
once you see that, all right, that's yours.
Then you let him go.
But before that, this is what we,
and if you're Pat Riley, this is,
and it was also with LeBron,
apparently he explained to him in the meetings,
this is not going to be like Cleveland.
Cleveland, apparently, he would hang out at the practice facility all day because he ran it.
Pat was like, you're going to do this and this and this, and then you're free to go home.
That's why LeBron left.
And LeBron would go home.
Yeah.
LeBron left because he didn't get treated like a king.
Yeah.
He also won championships, I think, because he didn't get treated like a king.
100%.
I mean, how many has he won since?
One.
And they let him do whatever he wanted, and he got one, and then-
He got the fuck out of there.
Yeah.
Okay.
What else we talking about, boys?
What else we got?
There's some news that New York is going to get 5,000 COVID tests per week, and this is
from India.
So thank you, Akash.
People coming through.
Son, we the goats, man.
You're coming through.
Wait, what's going on
Y'all are getting
5,000 COVID tests a week
Thanks to us
50,000
50,000
A week
Thanks to us
Supplied from India
Wait wait
Where does
I hate this
What
Yeah you would
I don't get it
Like you got fucking babies
Starving on the street
And you're making COVID tests
Why don't you give some
Fucking rice to the babies On the street Stop making COVID streets can y'all send back some fucking rice please dude
countries are so odd bro like y'all got a space program and you got little babies starving on the
street we don't got space we got too many we don't got space we need to explore space so we got too
many people there's no space in all of India? You been to India, son?
I seen it.
Ain't no space in India, yo.
What about in the mountains?
If this room was India,
there would be 14 of us in here.
Really?
Bruh, it's a fucking,
it's no space nowhere. It's just odd to me.
As an Indian, you're not upset?
As an Indian, you're not upset?
About what?
When you see like the way
the spending is going,
like 50,000 kits
that you're
giving to america you're in no position to give america anything give your people shit first then
you give it to america this is this is a pr move yo it's pr because we need your shit later you're
gonna get our shit we're gonna call you when are we not you gonna call us when you need some yes
that's how the world works hey look exactly you, exactly. You need some COVID tests? We got you.
Throw us some.
Why do y'all have so many COVID tests?
Because we all doctors.
No, you're not.
Not there.
I feel like your doctor's here.
We probably sending them back to cousins like,
hey, man, just in case.
You know what I mean?
On the low.
We shipping them from here to India.
It's a fucking triangle.
You know what I mean?
But in all seriousness.
Hey, we ship them from fucking Jersey over to India.
That don't make you get curious a little bit. You're not like, why the fuck we got all these from from fucking Jersey. That don't make you curious a little bit.
You're not like, why the fuck we got all these COVID tests?
No, I don't know.
I mean, they don't have them.
They making them fast.
Why are they making them?
Because we're paying a lot.
Oh, we're paying for it.
Yeah, I don't think it's being donated.
Oh, yeah.
What the fuck?
We're buying it.
The way that you said it, you said India is shipping. I don't believe neither because we have such big hearts. No, no, no? We're buying it from them. The way that you said it, you said India is shipping.
I don't believe neither because we have such big hearts.
No, no, no.
We're buying them, but it's just that when we should be getting them from the federal
government, we have to rely on India to provide.
Who do you think is paying India?
New York.
This is New York made a deal with India directly.
New York?
Yeah.
Cuomo.
State government. It's actually Bloomberg. It's a city thing. Bloomberg, yo. Bloomberg gets slept on, dog. New York? Yeah. Cuomo. State government.
It's actually Bloomberg.
It's a city thing.
Bloomberg, yo.
Bloomberg gets slept on, dog.
My bad.
My bad.
De Blasio.
I'm bugging.
De Blasio.
Yeah.
De Blasio doing something.
I don't know if you read this article, B.
Son, I'm looking at it right now.
New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio announces it will be getting tens of thousands of coronavirus
testing kits from a company in Camel, India.
Camel? Yeah. No. I was saving that one from a company in Camel, India. Camel?
Yeah, no.
I was saving that one.
It is from Camel.
Camel.
It is Camel, India.
What's the name of his website?
Sandcracker.com?
Son.
Just look at it.
It's trending right now.
Keep going.
Keep going.
We the best, yo.
Callan knew who he was talking about.
Son, I'm just reading tweets.
It's just a tweet.
There's more to this
I don't fucking get.
Trended.
Maybe they're using like money
and like the disaster stimulus
to do it or something like that.
But I find it hard to believe.
Everybody all of a sudden
has these fucking COVID tests
and shit.
I'm going to be honest.
I don't think we should be.
I don't think it matters
to test everybody.
I was talking to one doctor
who brought up a good point.
She was like,
stop wasting money on tests.
Yeah.
People who have it,
have it,
they've spread it. Let's put all that money toward treatment for people people who have it have it they've spread it
let's put all that money toward treatment for people who do have it and it's bad enough that
they're in the hospital no i like to test because then if you had it already you got tested if you
have antibodies or if you have it and then once you've if you're one of those two people you can
go back i don't want to spend too much time on this but like to test the 10 million people in
new york if we're getting 50 000 a week is how long 20 weeks yeah that's four or five months at that point it's not worth
it let's talk about something that's actually important okay nyu scientists largest u.s study
of covid 19 i hate that they even call it that finds obesity the single... Oh, the funniest name for corona?
Smallpox.
Okay, NYU scientists,
the largest U.S. study of smallpox
finds obesity the single biggest chronic factor
in New York City's hospitalizations.
Doctors at NYU Langone Health Center
usually conducted the largest study so far of
U.S. hospital admissions of coronavirus
focused on
New York City. They found obesity
along with age was the biggest
deciding factor in hospital admissions
which may suggest the role of hyper
inflammatory reactions that can happen in those
with the disease.
That being said, I need all y'all fat fucks to keep that same energy.
Okay?
All right?
I want this big as beautiful shit.
I want y'all to keep that same fucking energy.
Don't start losing weight now that it can kill you like we've been telling you
for your entire fucking lives that being fat is not healthy and it's bad for you.
It is the number one reason, that and age.
You know how people kept saying this shit
that it's an old person disease,
it's only killing old people?
It's killing fat people as well, okay?
So we only need Lizzo
and all these motherfucking biggest beautiful bitches
out here that can't tell you how good it is to be fat.
You're helping people die.
You're enabling the coronavirus.
You're basically telling people,
keep smoking cigarettes during corona. vaping during corona yeah fat people aren't they're not motivated by fear of
death though they've otherwise that have been lost weight so this ain't gonna reach them i don't think
that they believe fatness causes fear of death that's my issue with the the body positivity
movement is they don't equate obesity to death they equate obesity to the size
of their bones this stupid thing we're like i'm just big boned have you ever seen a skeleton and
what people aren't saying that anymore yes they are the biggest beautiful movement is not i'm fat
i'm um or i'm not fat i'm just big bone it's I'm fat and that's beautiful. That's what Jameela Jamil, this is the problem.
And I root for this brown girl.
They really think that's their body type.
No, they don't.
They do.
All their fat they think is attributed to being big bone.
Not just the size of their bones,
but their body type.
This is how I am.
This is my body type.
I'm more predisposed to being fat.
I don't even think that they word it
like that you're talking of retards bro you're talking to people who don't understand science
just because they don't read nutrition labels doesn't mean they don't understand
they don't understand science bro they're not like me they're not like me. They're not like me, dog. They don't understand it.
What's that?
What is that?
What's he doing, gang?
Yo, dude, they don't understand science like me.
Ask me anything about science.
I know it.
I don't want to.
Any question you have.
What's the cheapest and easiest way to make a light bulb?
The cheapest and easiest way to make a light bulb is you rub your hands together real fast
and then you touch it.
What? You start that synthetic energy. how is the internet created say again how is the internet created jews okay what else okay no but seriously let's
get back to these fat people right so the, now they're faced with a real,
they're faced with the repercussions for their actions.
Usually fat people will face repercussions for their actions much older, right?
Like there's no body positivity amongst like 70-year-old fat people.
Because there are no 70-year-old fat people.
Because they're dead.
Yeah.
You died from being fat.
Yeah.
Right?
Simple as that, right?
Yeah.
So, but at a young age age there's this big as beautiful shit
there's this you know whatever my curves or my body all this other fucking nonsense and then we
go hey that's unhealthy and they go you're shaming us yeah like we're not shaming you we're trying to
keep you alive yeah this is called trying to keep you alive right okay any health professional will
tell you the exact same thing yeah now the crone is here and it's expediting that process are they going to keep the same energy with big is beautiful
they have no energy that's why they're fat that's a good point i mean that was a good joke
now answer my fucking question okay you're avoiding this like a fat person in celery
where's the ranch dressing
I don't think
They're gonna change though
I don't think fat people
Will stop being fat
But are they gonna keep
The same energy
During corona
So my question is
The information's out there
Saying that
Big is not beautiful
Big will kill you
Because of corona
Yeah
Are they gonna keep
Telling fat people
Hey
You should be big
And you should be proud of
how big you are so this so to me it's about the enablers the skinny people who say you don't
answer the question yeah yeah i'm trying to fucking help you god damn this motherfucker
too impatient yo fucking yes or no yo man yes or no you're a bully
explain why it doesn't make sense because i! It's a, it's a,
wait, explain why it doesn't make sense
because I think it does make sense.
It's not about the fat people themselves.
Andrew's acting like,
Andrew's acting like a fat person
waiting on their food, son.
Where is it?
Son, it's like working with Ellen.
You know what I mean?
No one can't wait on nothing.
God damn, son.
You beautiful bitch bull die.
But go, go, go, go. Bull bitch crack ass. Go, go, go. I have a the question do not call me a bullcrap
that is my word no no but what i'm saying is it's easy to say big is beautiful when
there isn't a virus that's killing you because you're big good yeah the fat people aren't gonna
they're still gonna say big is beautiful i want going to say Big is Beautiful. I want to know. I was always asking.
I want to know what I'm saying to add to your point and make it not fall apart is maybe
the people who enable fat.
Because fat people ain't going to change, son.
Yeah.
They weren't listening before.
They're not going to listen now.
Bro, they've been ready to die.
That's not true.
That's the name of Biggie's first album.
Ready to die because I'm fat.
No, no, no.
That's funny.
No, no, no.
This is the thing.
They're not listening because fatness doesn't affect you now.
This is what I'm trying to get.
That's what I'm trying to get across.
That you're not fucking listening to.
I understand your point.
Okay.
Right?
Sound Ellen out here, yo.
Listen, listen, listen.
I get Ellen now.
I get Ellen now.
Okay.
Right?
This white nigga.
Wildness.
Okay. The reason why nobody takes fatness seriously and i do mean this sincerely the reason why nobody take fat seriously is the same reason why nobody takes
alcoholism seriously because it doesn't kill you now it's why nobody takes cigarettes seriously it
doesn't kill you now right everybody will go all right in 20 years i'll deal with my smoking
cigarettes it doesn't in 20 years i'll deal with my whatever right we agree with that that's fair
it's not an immediate thing
whereas like,
what is something
that is an immediate death?
Maybe heroin.
It's not even that immediate.
AIDS.
AIDS.
Yeah.
What are other things
that are just like immediate?
What's more immediate?
Say again?
Like illness?
Yeah,
any illness or something
that we take seriously
because it could kill you
in the now.
Cancer?
No,
that's not now.
Let's say you travel to a foreign country and you get Ebola, right?
We took Ebola really seriously, right?
Because it could kill you fucking now, one of those things, right?
So since we can put it off, we don't take it that seriously.
Well, now it's been proven that it will kill you now immediately corona because you're fat
is going to kill you
so
can you maintain
a big is beautiful movement
whether it's not
whether it's the enablers
or the fat people themselves
can you
can you maintain that movement
knowing
that the death is now
not 20 years from now
yes
how
because they don't think it will happen to them that's
everybody that anything but now we know it does but they don't think it will happen to
that individual person it can happen to other big people it won't happen to me
it won't happen to me you know some shit can be dangerous but you're like yeah it won't happen to
me i'm fine fat people in particular are the kings of it won't happen to me right but that's true and i understand that and i
believe that most of them will operate like that but let's talk about the jamila jamil's or whatever
like that so that's who i think now this is what i was trying to get at not only that yeah but not
only would you kill you now obese and obese these people who are like biggest beautiful they're not
obese maybe whatever it's all obese now not only could you be who are like biggest, beautiful, they're not obese. Maybe whatever. It's all obese.
Now, not only could you being fat kill you.
Why do we have levels to fat?
It could kill me.
It's just grossy or not.
Ain't no people out here like,
I'm fat, I'm not obese.
Yes, you are.
I mean, there are levels though.
Are there?
Yes.
There's two levels.
Nah.
You fucked a few not skinny girls i'm assuming
and i wasn't going well they weren't obese they were they were lizzos so when i was trying to
pick but they were lizzos this fucking obese cracker up bro this fucking she wasn't a fat
girl she was a biscuit cinnamon roll yeah but you said you fucked a few lizzos in your day
cinnamon roll yeah but you say you fucked a few lizzos in your day
nah one lizzo no but why so you all skinny girls in a lizzo they were gross so there's an overweight range and an obese range it's too many ranges but that's what i'm saying it's two different ranges
bro listen so it's fine i'm just saying a few lizzos yeah yeah yeah for all
intents and purposes yeah okay fair how was that say again how was that gushy pussy
honestly it's not as wet as they claim it to be like that bitch has always got this thing
where like oh it's it's tighter because there's more push together or whatever like that and
it's not it's not it's the same the same. It's pussy. Pussy's pussy.
Pussy will maintain.
The head is different, though.
Say again?
The head.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, they're trained
having things in their mouth
all the time.
I mean, no.
Nah, it is.
They're lazier.
Yeah, but there's more cushion.
They're probably breathing
on it all heavy
because they're getting tired.
Yeah, they run out of breath
and shit like that.
They can't breathe
out of their nose. They're all asthmatic and shit because they're getting tired. Yeah, they run out of breath and shit like that. They can't breathe out of their nose.
They're all asthmatic and shit.
It's not as good, dude.
They're all dying from Corona.
They can't breathe out of their nose.
That goes away.
That goes away.
They got fucking sleep apnea.
Do you know what I mean?
But how good would that feel on your dick probably?
The little ball going on your dick?
Maybe it's possible.
But going back to the thing.
Okay, so the Jamil Jamils.
So the enablers, now you could get corona and it could kill you,
but also it's more likely to kill me.
If you being obese affects you getting corona and it spreads,
now you being fat is not just a you problem.
But it doesn't affect you getting it.
You get it the same way.
It affects you when you have it.
It's not more easily transmittable if it gets worse?
It's just the same?
Yeah, it's just a virus. Come on, on son why are you acting like you don't know
these things you're indian energy if everybody's there that's all i'm saying is bullshit so i can't
wait to hear jamil jamil tell people to go be fat right now or all these other go be fat activists
when you know it's killing motherfuckers now we finally have a bit of evidence we could throw at
them right where we could go you are trying to kill people.
The whole time we've been saying it, you're trying to kill people.
But now we literally can point and go, you are trying to get people to die from coronavirus.
I guess I just feel like these people ignore logic anyway.
So they're not going to start seeing it now.
Even if it's immediate.
That's the only difference I saw.
I thought we were going to gang up on fat people.
And then y'all turn this into a goddamn fucking science lecture.
Ain't nobody defending fat people. I know. We're saying they're gonna continue being stupid yeah let's talk about something else bro fucking fat niggas man these fucking fat crackers
all right what else yo you hate bernie sanders my man flipped on b Bernie, yo. Yo, Bernie is such a fucking maggot, bro.
You are such a-
Daniel, why are you so hyped about this?
Bro, Bernie is such-
No, no, no.
I don't get this.
Let's start this.
Let me tell you why.
This is what Bernie is.
Bernie got, let's just call it what the fuck it is.
And I voted for Bernie twice.
Okay.
Okay?
This is somebody who i wanted
to be present because i i thought i was misled by bernie i thought he was actually
good i thought he was brave he's a fucking coward okay let's call it what is over bernie twice
i voted for him once and he didn't get into the situation where i could vote for him this time
but i was gonna vote for him this time right um I was going to vote for him this time. Right.
But basically, I put my foot... I wanted it, right?
You let me down, dog.
So the DNC,
regardless of what you want to say about the DNC,
you cannot deny that they colluded
to not allow him to win the primary
when he was running with Hillary.
And then they did the exact same thing now.
Now, if you're listening to this right now and you're going, well, how did they collude?
They didn't have to collude that crazily, but they basically had Buttigieg and Klobacher stop.
What's it called?
Right before Super Tuesday, they had him drop out of the election.
But they had Warren stay in so that Warren would peel votes away from Bernie.
But all the moderate Dems would have no competition with Biden. And all the moderate Dems would have no competition
with Biden and all the moderate Dem voters would go to Biden, giving him Super Tuesday.
They basically hand it on a platter.
So instead of dividing up those moderate Dem votes amongst those three, they all go to
Biden.
He gets a big Super Tuesday, whereas Bernie has to beat out, what's her face?
Elizabeth Warren.
Say again?
Elizabeth Warren, right?
Now, granted,
everybody's personally responsible
for where they are.
Bernie is not good enough.
That is a fact.
If this is a meritocracy,
he does not have the skills.
He should be a liberal arts teacher
at fucking Wesley
and he should not be running for president.
That's who he is
and that's how good he is
of a politician.
He is not good enough to make it.
He cannot cut it.
He's not good enough. We like his ideas cannot cut it. He's not good enough.
We like his ideas
and we think we like him for who he is,
but he doesn't have the skill.
Okay?
Right.
If this was a real meritocracy,
he would fail.
Say what you want about Trump.
Trump faced similar adversity
from the Republican Party.
They're not as corrupt
as the Democratic Party
in the way that they rigged elections,
but they're still corrupt.
Right?
Still corruption.
But he was too much of a force for them to control,
and he ended up winning.
Son, he overwhelmed.
It's fucking blitzkrieg.
He just overwhelmed it.
He overwhelmed him.
He really did.
Bernie is not as good as Trump,
so he couldn't do it.
Right.
And he's also not willing to stoop
as low as Trump is willing to stoop.
Yeah, Trump will get down there, boy.
Oh, in the mud.
Trump is comfy in the mud.
He's made of mud.
He is a mud person.
He's a mud person, right?
So Bernie gets raped by the DMC with the Hillary Clinton,
then endorses Hillary, okay?
Literally, all his supporters, me,
I don't know if you guys were supporting,
maybe you were.
All of us believed in him, believed in his message,
right?
He hands us over to his rapists.
It's like you're the fucking,
what is it in the Catholic church?
The flower boy or some shit.
What are they called?
Altar boy.
You're the altar boy.
You get raped by the priest.
You become old enough to bring in more altar boys.
And then you bring in the altar boys
so they can also get raped by the priest.
That happens four years ago.
We're like, there's no possible way
he's going to let that happen again.
He cares too much about us.
He cares too much about the cause.
He cares too much about these people
who have supported him.
They've put their hard-earned money out there, right?
Again, he's not taking that Super PAC money, right?
The average donation to Bernie Sanders is $20.
So that's poor Americans
giving their last fucking $20
to this fucking pussy coward,
right?
In hopes that he would help them
and shed light on their causes.
And what does he do?
He gets stripped of his shit again,
collusion by the same organization, and right after they rape him again, what does he do? He gets stripped of his shit again, collusion by the same organization,
and right after they rape him again,
what does he do?
Serves up his flock to the rapists again
and endorses Biden.
What would shit he have done, though?
Yeah.
Called them out.
He should have called out the corruption.
When they cheated him with Hillary,
what did they do?
They shut down.
There was some weird thing that happened
during the Hillary primary
where they shut down his ability to email.
Something happened where they shut down his email list or something like that.
The DNC shut down so that he couldn't have access to his email list.
So he couldn't reach out to his supporters.
They did all this fuck shit during the Hillary campaign.
Obviously, the super delegate shit.
He should have called out the system.
He should have called. He's not a Democrat. Yeah, but he needs the proof. He has the proof have called out the system. He should have called it.
He's not a Democrat.
Yeah, but he needs the proof.
He has the proof.
It's out there.
We all know the proof.
No, that's all speculation.
You can't prove that they told all these politicians, oh, drop out exactly at this time so you don't split the votes and they all go to Biden.
Prove.
You need proof.
This was Biden, though.
Allegation.
By the second super tuesday where
biden like sealed the deal i think warren was out at that point that's the only thing that
i think they colluded this time it wasn't as obvious i think early on the booty judge
they were really trying to push this guy and like he created the app that everybody votes on or
some dumb shit like that and he wins two states that's wild but i think by the end it was just
clear biden was gonna win warren dropped out
and biden then it was going to win because they made it that if what if bernie if warren had
dropped out i think we can look up the numbers but if warren had dropped out then he could have
beaten biden on super tuesday but this bitch who's just a part of the fucking establishment and again
i'm not angry at the idea of the establishment i'm angry at hypocrites and liars don't act like
you're fighting the system and then feed us to the system.
You're admitting that you're just a fucking distraction.
Yeah, but now that he has no clear way to get elected.
Let me ask you a question.
Are his politics lined up with the Democratic establishment?
Not really.
Is he even a Democrat?
He doesn't claim to be.
He just has to run.
So why the fuck
are you running as a Democrat?
Because that's the only way.
That's the only way you can run.
He had to run as an independent.
That's what blows my mind.
Why didn't he run?
2020, run as an independent.
Son.
Because he can,
I think he has a better chance
getting Trump voters
than he does Biden supporters.
That's like him running
as a fucking communist.
Like people just are going to vote for what they feel comfortable with.
Run as a communist.
Run as a communist.
And then he's not going to get no votes.
Huh?
He's not going to get any votes.
People don't feel comfortable.
They vote their party line.
But be better.
But here's the thing.
He's not part of the party line.
He's a pro-gun guy.
Can you name Democrats that are pro-gun?
No.
He doesn't align politically with Democrats. Is he still pro-gun? No. He doesn't align politically with Democrats.
Yes.
He constantly votes pro-gun.
He's in, what is he, where is he from?
Vermont.
It's a pro-gun state.
He has more guns per capita than any other state in the nation.
And to the point of running independent, if you really want to, because my thing was,
well, he just doesn't want to see Trump win.
I think if he ran independently, he could take out enough Trump voters
that Trump might lose.
Because I think the people who are big Trump supporters
are just like, yo, nobody fucking cares about us.
This guy does.
Bernie will be like, yo, I care about you.
Here's something that will actually make you money.
I actually hate the rich.
He is the rich.
Yeah, but he won't have a chance of winning.
Yes, he can take some votes away from Trump,
But at this point, the reason for him supporting Biden now is i just don't want to see trump win that's
the only thing i can why do but if he ran as independent you could keep trump from winning
there you go why do black people in america have no political power i get what you're saying okay
why do they have no political power don't vote no you do vote you vote the same way every single
time so you let that party basically, you give the party permission
to do nothing for you.
Oh, yes.
And when one of you guys says,
I'm not going to vote for this party
that does nothing for you,
you call him a sellout.
You call him a fucking loser.
You call him an Uncle Tom.
You call him a piece of shit.
So you are bullying each other
into maintaining the status quo that does nothing for you.
Right?
Okay.
By what's it called?
By Bernie handing us all over to the Democratic Party, he continues that.
If you want your ideas out there, if you want your ideas to make change, you have to maintain an option.
So then you're upset that he ran as a Democrat or that he dropped out?
What are you upset about?
Both.
No, but most importantly that he dropped out.
Actually, not even dropped out.
He endorsed Biden.
Not even dropped out.
Don't endorse Biden.
Fuck endorse him.
And call out the fuck shit.
You are 90 years old.
You're dead in a few years. You have to lose here go out on your sword go out on your fucking sword i feel the
same way you know what bernie is he's yoel romero in the fight with uh stylebender this is your last
chance scope swing for the fucking fences bro i think the way he's looking at it is that if he goes out like that, then his mission is done.
He's out of.
Your mission is done.
Yeah, but now he's still a senator, right?
So he could still make some changes.
What has he ever done?
What changes has he ever made?
I'm just saying.
I think he just doesn't want to lose his.
You go full nuclear.
Now it's wrapped.
Go full nuclear.
Break it up.
Power is not handed over.
It is fucking taken.
Okay?
And if you want to make a change,
then you actually have to put your foot down and make that shit.
And he's too pussy to put his foot down and make it.
He's too pussy to call it the powers that be.
And he's handing us right over to the same people that have been fucking over his party,
fucking over poor workers,
fucking over everybody.
I mean, if you really look at his political strategy,
it is more aligned with Trump
than the Democratic National Party.
100%.
Foreign policy-wise,
foreign policy-wise,
his pacifism in the rest of the world
and anti-wars.
Say again?
Not healthcare.
Say again?
Healthcare aligns more with the Dems.
Economically, he's, I think, aligned very far left.
Economy is very far left.
Healthcare, he's very far left.
No.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, economically, healthcare is very far left.
But foreign policy, and he's pro-gun, like he's actually split.
I'm just saying I hate the fact that he didn't have the balls to call out the corruption that was out there.
He just fell in line like everybody else, like a fucking sheep.
This time, I didn't think it was as corrupt as
2016, but yeah, 2016, I
could definitely see how running again
Democrat in 2020, I was like, why is he doing this?
Just go independent. Just go
independent. Matter of fact, you still can't.
Clinton, the reason Clinton won, a lot of people think.
Of course, I can
run for president if I want. Nah, but I think there's like
deadlines and shit like that. No, because we're not even at the
presidency. We're at the primary period so you just run as an independent and again
in terms of costing trump an election the reason clinton won in 92 i think is because ross perot
ran he got 20 of the vote but most of those votes were from republicans a lot of texans i knew
because he was he business in dallas was like all. And listen, if he was out there as a third party,
he could put pressure on the debate conversation, right?
That's true also.
When you're in the game, you could say, I want to do this for people.
And when people know that's an option,
now the other politicians that you're running against
have to address that in some way.
They might not have to do it it but they got to address it when you out the game
you mean nothing and what you say means nothing to that point politicians are all phony and full
of shit have you watched a democratic debate like on the primaries they're talking about the most
far left shit you watch republican they're talking about the most far left shit. You watch Republican, they're talking about the most far right shit. They're trying to not only appease the fan bases, but there's far left candidates and
far right candidates, and they bring these conversations in, so now you got to pander
to them.
When it comes national election, you're talking about some pretty moderate shit.
Nobody's that extreme all of a sudden.
I mean, Trump kind of was, but for the most part, historically, now all of a sudden everything
gets moderated because there's no extreme candidates we got that are offering better alternatives.
You're forgotten in history, bro.
That's what you just did, Bernie.
His greatest contribution is going to be AOC.
Maybe.
Maybe.
And we'll see what happens with her.
She seems to be-
She's a star, yo.
She's a star, but she seems to be toeing the party line, right?
She's not fucking with the Mosey girls anymore, right?
She used to be with them, the girl gang, this, that, the other. And all of a sudden, she's not talking. She'szzie girls anymore right she used to be with them the girl gang this that the other and all of a sudden she's not talking she's not talking about biden being
senile she's not talking about the the democratic party like she's real quiet all of a sudden and i
think they tapped her they said hey listen you could have a future within the party shut your
fucking mouth shut your fucking mouth stop going on twitter stop yapping stop going in front of
congress and yapping.
And you know what?
The second you give them the opportunity, all of a sudden they get real fucking quiet.
I don't know how old she is, but I feel like that might be the first female president.
Oh, come on.
All right, we're going to take a break for a second and talk about testicle hair, and it's very important.
All right?
You've got to make sure those pubes are looking good.
I know you're in quarantine, but you're not Tom Hanks in this.
What is that movie where he's on an island?
Castaway.
Yeah, you're not Tom Hanks in Castaway, okay?
Get your fucking pubic hair right.
Have some respect for your girl. Have some respect for your side chick.
Have some respect for whoever it is you're with.
And ladies, this applies to you
too, okay, you can manscaped, I don't care, I don't care it's not called womanscape, you can
manscape, I've done it, I've used it, they have a brand new razor, by the way, the Lawn Mower 3.0,
the 3.0 kit is in the perfect package, I'll read you what's in that. But it's got the Lawn Mower 3.0 waterproof cordless body trimmer and a ton of other liquid
formulations to round out your manscaping routine.
Telling you, it's as simple as this.
You shave your balls, you feel better.
Straight up.
Simple as that.
Number one.
Straight up.
Quickest thing you could do to increase self-confidence.
Trim your pubic hair. Yeah, so line up for your nuts. Line one. Straight up. Quickest thing you could do to increase self-confidence. Trim your pubic hair.
Yeah, so line up for your nuts.
Line your fucking nuts up.
Imagine how good you feel.
You know how good you feel when you get a haircut.
I know it's been a while.
I know it's been a while since you had your haircut because you're in quarantine.
But remember how great that feels when you walk out of that barbershop with all that fucking confidence?
You know how amazing a haircut makes you feel?
You could be in the barbershop with the entire barbershop making fun of you and making you feel like shit and when you walk out of there you still feel
great because of that fucking new haircut miss it it is magical same thing applies to your dick
give that shit a fucking shape up i've used the i've used the uh lawnmower
it's perfect i get in tight with my balls i take care of all that shit i make there everything's
good but then there's that patch that sits above your dick and a lot of times people don't touch
that at all you got to take that down take that baby down okay get it nice and tight your dick
looks bigger less pubes end up in your girl's mouth, less of that coughing shit where she's picking stuff out of her teeth. Have some respect.
But most importantly, you feel stronger.
You feel more powerful.
You don't feel like you're hidden in a patch of fuzz.
No, you feel like a man that's out there in the world and ready to conquer.
Go get your Manscaped right now.
Go to manscaped.com okay use the code flagrant2 and
you get 20 off and free shipping with flagrant2 do yourself a favor a favor and always use the
right tools for the job manscape.com flagrant2 is the code use it let's get back to the show
yo i think she a star whether you why i don't know any of her politics. I don't.
I don't really care. Politics don't matter.
She's just a star. Politics don't matter.
Intelligence doesn't matter.
None of these things matter. It's a likability contest.
I think she's a star. She's cute.
She's so unlikable, though.
She speaks well.
What about Tulsi?
People didn't fuck with her.
They ate that bitch up.
I'll vote for her
because she Hindu
so straight up
let's go
I agree with you
that's as close to India
as I'm gonna get
AOC man
yeah
AOC
that's people
they're just like
yeah I'm ready
AOC let's go
I don't think she's likable
Bernie Sanders wasn't likable
people like her
I think there was something
likable about Bernie
to us
because we like
don't give a fuck most people don we like don't give a fuck.
Most people don't like don't give a fuck.
We're outliers.
AOC gives a fuck.
She's cute.
She says things that people care about.
She caters well without sounding super pandering to most people.
I don't necessarily fuck with it.
I'm also sexist.
So, you know, we got to be honest about who we are at a certain point.
Yeah.
I don't know. There's something about aoc to me and it might be a political thing but like she's kind of like virtuous
like gotcha that's what every time i see her now for sure she's and we'll see how middle america
feels i don't i don't have any idea i thought trump was gonna get crushed in 2016 i'm obviously
out of touch with what middle america thinks yeah but i just see a star when i see her that's it
why it's just it's just clear like when you watch her you're just she's got it whatever the fuck it
is they always say that and it sounds so corny but she's got more charisma than pretty much every
politician outside of trump trump got the most you can't deny i hate trump i like trump this
is a motherfucker you're watching.
AOC is the same.
If she's on screen with three other candidates, you're watching her.
If she's on stage with fucking Booty Judge and Klobuchar or whatever the fuck, Elizabeth Warren, I'm watching AOC.
She was a bartender.
That's a romantic story, yo.
She knows how to talk to whatever crowd comes in her way. And it's a story, too. That's a great story, yo. She knows how to talk to whatever crowd comes in her way.
And it's a story, too.
That's a great point, actually.
She knows how to talk to everybody.
He's a bartender.
But also, it's a story.
You know, this is rags to riches.
In our president, the bitch was a bartender.
Every other president comes from money.
Barack didn't.
But outside of that, they all come from families, money, blah, blah, blah, et cetera.
She's a bartender.
There's like romance to that.
She's a womanender there's like romance to that when she's a woman she's cute when she talks i this is what i go i go
i go when when barack obama talks i went like this i went holy fuck yeah
yeah that's true when george bush talked i went this guy when trump talks i go this
motherfucker is what like i smile yeah when they talk dude fdr talked you're into it like if you
go back to speeches abraham lincoln i don't know i don't ever heard him speak so i can't you know
whatever but but it's like there is a fucking likability to them. When AOC talks, I literally, I look at the screen and I go, I hope one of the legs on her chair breaks.
It's so annoying.
She's so annoying to me.
That's fine.
Her little gotcha shit with congress like so what
did you say so in 1946 your grandmother once bought a bagel at a deli is she supporting the
uh oppressive regime against palestine like what are you fucking it's self-serving for sure. But people love that. Who? People.
Who deep down loves that?
Son, that's Trump.
No.
Trump is mad self-serving.
Every comment is, I'm the best.
I do it the best.
Every politician is self-serving.
No, no, no.
What we love about Trump is not that.
What we love about Trump, regardless if you like or hate his politics, what we love about
Trump is humor.
He is funny.
And he owns.
Whatever he says, he owns it.
He's unapologetic.
It's the same reason why 6ix9ine is going to come back completely unscathed.
Oh, my God.
I disagree with that.
100%.
100%.
100%.
I wish you would stop.
He's already doing his comeback, by the way, 6ix9ine.
Do you see?
He was on Tory Lanez's live.
Nah.
And he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, yo, let me play my new shit right now.
I'm going to snitch on you.
He's funny. He is funny? I think you'll get got. True, man. Just as a right now. I'm going to snitch on you. He's funny.
He is funny?
I think you'll get got.
True, man.
Just as a snitch.
You're on the wrong side.
Say again?
You're on the wrong side with 6ix9ine, man.
Why?
Because he's a snitch.
I think that's super serious.
You're acting like I care.
It's not about sides.
I'm just telling you what's going to happen in my opinion.
What I believe is people care more about humor than they care about policy.
Trump's policies are abhorrent to a lot of people, but he's so funny that people cannot
stop watching him. I don't find AOC funny. She's never made me laugh once. George Bush was funny.
Barack Obama was funny. AOC is not funny to me. She's an attractive woman for a politician.
She might be the most attractive woman. If she was ugly,
people would be saying,
shut your fat ass up.
I literally think the only reason we listen to AOC
is because she's attractive
and her politics align with people.
I literally think the only thing,
I don't think there's anything to her
outside of being attractive.
Every time I said she was a star.
We listen to Kim Kardashian
and her opinions on black people in jail.
I mean, because she got some out.
Say what?
Because she got a few of them out.
You know how many people have gotten black people out of jail?
But this bitch got a 30.
So all of a sudden we're like, no, you got a good point.
Yo, you're right.
But that's my point.
She's cute.
Every time I say she's a star, I say she's cute.
That's one of the first things I name, if not the first.
You never said that one time.
Yeah, you didn't say it one time.
I said cute all the time. Listen to this shit. Listen. Yeah, you didn't say it. You didn't say it one time. I said cute. No, you didn't say it one time.
Listen to this shit.
Listen to this whole episode.
Run it back.
Run it back.
You didn't say cute not one time.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back.
Run it back. Run it back. your way to not say it no she cute you didn't say one time that she's cute multiple times I can't wait to read
the comments
it factor yeah
you're really talking
like some Weinstein
I said she was cute
I can't wait to see
the comments
run that shit back
you go see these comments
I can't wait yo
listen
you didn't say it one time
you said that she had
an it factor
you said that she's
good at talking
and then you said
she's well spoken
she's cute
never said she's cute
100% said she's cute
never said she's cute not even once she said she's cute. 100% said she's cute. Never said she's cute.
100% said she's cute.
Not even once she said she's cute.
She's cute.
No, no.
I know.
We just said that.
That's what we care about.
That's all we care about.
Not all.
You never.
Stop saying that.
That's not all.
You're backtracking.
Stop your moonwalking.
That's not all.
Shut up.
I agree with you.
If she's not cute, none of it matters.
Let's say hypothetically saying you didn't say that.
What do you mean?
Hypothetically speaking, you didn't say any of that. Let's just say that. Hypothetically speaking, you didn't say that. What do you mean? Hypothetically speaking, you didn't say any of that.
Let's just say that.
Hypothetically speaking, you didn't say that.
And all you said was what you said, which was she has the it factor.
Yeah.
Right?
The it factor, if she's not cute, it's not fair.
Why do you think I would disagree with you and then say that she's hot and that's the
only reason why people care?
Because you're disagreeing with me saying she is well-spoken, she is intelligent, she
is whatever.
No, I don't disagree with you.
But I agree with you. That won't matter if she's ugly.
Yeah.
But she's not ugly.
So that's why I think she's a star.
Because she's cute and got the other shit.
If she's just some cute, vapid bitch, alright, we're not voting for Kim Kardashian.
I think we could in probably like 12 years.
But we're not going to vote for just a cute bitch.
But she's cute and got the other shit.
That's why I think she's a star.
I don't know her policies. That's it. That's why I think she's a star.
I don't know her policies.
That's it.
That's why I think she got a shot.
We'll see in the comments.
We'll see in the comments.
And then
if it is true
that you didn't say
she's cute
not even once
you probably didn't even
talk about her looks at all
would you like to apologize?
I'll apologize in the next episode
and when we find out
that she is cute
when we find out
she is cute
you're going to apologize.
Absolutely. Okay. Okay. No, you're going to apologize. Absolutely.
Okay.
Okay, no, no.
No, no, no.
No bullshit.
No, no.
Absolutely.
I apologize.
He almost started
sounding like AOC.
If I'm wrong,
I'm wrong, dog.
If I'm wrong,
I'm wrong.
You're going to apologize, right?
It's going to be
a Schultz apology.
It's going to be,
no, I'm sorry
that you said that shit
like a meek little bitch.
It's going to be the Schultz apology. Yo, say it with'm sorry that you said that shit like a meek little bitch it's gonna be the Schultz apology yo say it with your chest bro
I don't know what to tell you
alright
already losing confidence
what was the
what was the other thing
I got a question
what
doesn't every
email
political commentator
or politician
have to be attractive
yes
it's their funny
like isn't that a non-star
yo no men have no no no let me say this in life Yes. It's their funny. No.
Let me say this.
In life, men have to be charismatic.
Women have to be attractive.
Okay?
There is no amount of charisma
that can make up for an ugly woman.
No.
Name it.
That's my question.
Name it.
Wendy Williams.
Who? Wendy Williams. What about her? no name it name it wendy williams who wendy williams what about it the one that gives the the fries and the frosties and the spicy chicken sandwich what redheaded lady at the restaurants
yo wait are we just talking politics are we talking just like we're talking we're talking
he's describing the wendy's girl. That's not the same person.
Here's the thing about Wendy Williams.
She is not ugly.
Come on.
Atrocious.
In her face.
Atrocious.
If you just look at her face, she's not ugly.
She's hideous.
But how did she make her bones?
This is very important.
What medium did she come out in?
Gossip radio. Say that in? Gossip radio.
Say that again.
Gossip radio.
Say the last word.
Oh, radio.
Okay.
She becomes famous and wins over the hearts of the people without anybody seeing what she looks like.
Now that she has this legion of people who are so connected with her through the most powerful medium of communication,
in my opinion, which is radio, because you're with people for so many hours a week.
You're just spending 10 hours a week with her.
Okay, fine, she's ugly, blah, blah, blah.
Not only that, you're their only solace before the worst part of their day.
And probably even on the way home, I'm sitting in fucking traffic.
Oh, I got to do all this shit when I get home.
This time, this saves me from that.
This is my sanctuary.
Thank you.
Hillary.
Say again?
Hillary Clinton.
Everybody like that bitch.
That's why she lost the election.
She lost.
How you lose to Trump, bitch?
She lost to Trump, dog.
Trump is going to win again.
Tony Lawrence, Tony Lawrence.
They don't exist.
They're not.
Yeah, no, no.
I know that.
Help.
We are shallow.
We're shallow as people. Here's the thing. We're shallow as people. They're not possible. Yeah, no, no. I know that helps. So we are shallow. I don't think it has to be.
Here's the thing.
I don't think it has to be.
We're shallow as people.
Yeah.
We're very shallow as people.
I want especially women listening to understand this.
We're equally shallow to men as we are to women.
Just what we're shallow about changes.
Your shallowness is dependent on your value, right?
So a man doesn't have to be attractive because that's not required by women
right you we have to be charismatic we have to be powerful we have to be strong we have to be
successful but we don't have to be beautiful women don't value that as much and with women
men value beauty and because of that women value beauty so if a woman is going to be present or is
going to be successful whatever she has to be successful or whatever, she has to be beautiful.
And have the other things was what you were later saying about.
And for men, it's flipped.
That's what I said initially.
And for men, it's flipped.
You got to have the other shit.
You're like, if you're good looking, that's great.
But the charisma is the number one thing.
You need to be charismatic.
If you're good looking, John F. Kennedy.
Whoa, that's awesome that you're good looking.
But there's been a lot of ugly motherfucking presidents.
Oh, yeah.
Abe Lincoln had a fucking wart
growing off the side of his head.
That's probably it.
Was it really?
So there it is.
With the big ass hat on.
Yo, you're right.
He's covering his whole fucking face.
Show as little of his face as possible.
That motherfucker looks like
he'll sell you diamonds
on 38th and 5th.
All right, Abraham.
Okay, my man.
That's why you had to put honest?
Because you look like you were going to rip your ass off?
Honest, trust me.
I'm an honest one to everything.
He just gets home from a hard day president and untucks the curls under the top that's a little yarmulke dude that's why he has the top back because the curls
would go in that shit all right but speaking on uh beauty standards you we have down poverty
beauty standards oh yeah oh no and what i want to get to this i want to get to this but just to just to clarify real quick um that's what we're saying about the looks
yeah that it looks are valuable and if you overlook that you're just not being honest with
what will win an election george bush was fucking charismatic dude the guy had an easiness about him he would laugh at
himself and it was endearing it was fucking endearing it was yeah george bush is great
you look back and you're like oh we hated this guy what the fuck what were we thinking i would
love him back and to be honest he didn't hate bush realistically the policies you hated were
cheney's policies rumsfeld's policies bush was just a guy that was up to be honest, he didn't hate Bush. Realistically, the policies you hated were Cheney's policies, Rumsfeld's policies.
Bush was just a guy that was up there.
He was a puppet.
He didn't know what was going on.
They're all fucking puppets.
Biden's a puppet.
If Bush had better puppeteers, we would love that motherfucker.
Yeah.
And you know what?
People did love him.
The right-wing families love, Republicans love Bush.
To this day, love Bush.
And what they do is they value the
things that he provided and then ignore the things he did right so they'll say things like you know
after 9-11 he made sure we were safe and there wasn't another attack on u.s soil blah blah blah
they just you know make up their little shit and then the dems will obviously go oh what about
these pointless wars and yada yada doesn't fucking matter that's why aoc is a chance and again to your point coco what's her name coco owens candace oh dick whatever
fucking name is candace owens tommy larry and all these girls
i thought you were talking about the disney movie yeah that's your little nickname for her at home
what was what was the bitch that ran for uh
vice president with uh robot arms sarah palin yeah yeah with sarah palin sarah palin right
what is his name mccain uh john mccain r.i.p right
say what i'm not taking away from the war He had some sock and bop-ums Right
Wasn't he sock and bop-ums
In there
If you had
To have a sock and bop-um
Tournament
And he was in it
You don't think
That he was
He's somewhat successful
You think if he saw
Like a Korean
He'll just get activated
You know what I mean
Maybe he was just ready
He was ready
At any point in time that's that ptsd
anybody said fucking chicken bim bim bop
okay um so yes it does play a factor yeah the democrats are probably not stupid they know that
okay and they're like okay we need some pretty bitches to run this shit yeah simple as that
we need some pretty i need some nice and I think Palin might have won him the election
if she didn't turn out
to be a fucking idiot.
What happened with that?
Something weird happened.
She just knew nothing.
Like she knew nothing.
Apparently she started
falling apart
because it was all this pressure.
She wasn't ready
to be vice president.
She was just a cute girl
who had Republican values.
So McCain was like,
we need to do something.
Let's try this girl.
He took a big risk
and it failed.
But if she knew her shit, he might have won that election and she would have been next in line. She was like, we need to do something. Let's try this girl. He took a big risk and it failed. But if she knew her shit,
he might have won that election
and she would have been
next in line.
She was like,
let's go.
You cannot have
a successful
political career
as a woman
unless
they can make
a porn star version of you.
What?
No, I see where he's going with this.
Is there like...
Lisa Ann?
Lisa Ann is famous because of Sarah Palin.
Yes.
All right.
You know, there's some bitches
that look just like Kim Kardashian.
There's some chick that look just like Megyn Kelly.
There's some chick that look just like whatever.
But if you aren't porn star-able, forget it. What elizabeth ward i haven't seen that porn yet exactly that's why this bitch
never gonna be president you can only be so successful without you can't be president
without that son nailing palin I just can't get
to stupidity enough
what do you mean
it makes sense
you don't think
they got AOC porn
I guarantee you
they got AOC porn
yeah but none of these
bitches won
say again
none of them won
none of them became president
they got AOC porn
they do have AOC porn
of course they got AOC porn
Mark been being
off to that shit
you know what I mean
he said that shit like he was getting
ready to jerk off you're the exhale they got it dog let me see let me see that let me see low kick
i don't want to see it she's going for it what is she talking about there won't be any amazon
delivery over here i got something else i'd like to deliver talking about a new green deal
all right all right all right we went too far we went too long we gotta stop soon
we've had a passionate one today it's been a passionate one today i just felt let down by
bernie yo um do you want to do black topics we could also talk about the vonte davis reenacting
uh it was really great i just wonder how check out tradavious white and leshawn mccoy two football
players talking
about a guy we talked
about on the podcast
when he just quit at
halftime we just quit
on the sidelines
player who quit at
halftime he just
retired just retired
like during the game
not even he's supposed
to go in he's like
nah I'm done yeah
I'm not going back in
and then at halftime
he's like I'm retired
and they reenact it
it's very funny it's
yeah yeah I'm not gonna be reenacted It's very funny It's uh Yeah
Yeah I'm not gonna be
Doing this anymore
But y'all keep
Supporting the Colts guys
They're doing good things
You know what I mean
They're doing really good things
Who was he playing for
The Bills right
The Bills maybe
Colts I don't know
Whoever it was
Alright Black Twitter
Alex was popular
Yo this was a really
Funny conversation
On Black Twitter
That Alex brought to us
Okay
This was Apparently Black Twitter Was debating Whether or not funny conversation on black twitter that alex brought to us okay this was apparently black
black twitter was debating whether or not a guy should order dessert on a first date or appetizers
i read this thread actually from the girl no dessert nor no appetizers she said i would literally
rather he ordered two meals for himself than get dessert or appetizers why i see this is women that
were upset at this?
It was a woman's
initial tweet
and she was like,
I just don't know
why a man would order dessert.
That's for me.
Dessert and appetizers
is some shit a woman gets.
You as a man,
you eat meals.
It's so funny.
And yo.
Yo,
it's so funny
how puzzled the two white guys
in the room are.
We're trying to make
a little sense though, right?
Don't we make a little bit of sense?
For some reason, to me, it makes a little sense.
I love dessert, yo.
You got to really respect black men that they are so fucking next level at pimping women
that they convince women to make the bill less.
Right?
Like, you eliminated appetizers and dessert
from a potential date menu.
Yeah, but we didn't convince them.
They came up with this fucking...
And I think she said...
How they came up with that by themselves.
But I think she says,
I can order it.
What's the next thing she's going to tweet about?
A real man would cheat on his girl.
A real man go get some pussy
outside the relationship.
That's what a real man would do.
No, but...
Come on.
No, but they're saying...
They're basically just saying it's not masculine if a man orders dessert. That's what a real man would do. No, but they're basically just saying
it's not masculine
if a man orders dessert.
That's what it all boils down to.
What the fuck does dessert
got to do with masculinity?
It kind of makes sense.
It kind of makes sense.
Why?
Yo, why you need something sweet, son?
You a little sweet?
Yeah.
A little sweet?
A little dainty food eating ass bitch
but you need a soup?
Pop blood on your soup
Before you eat it
Literally
Yo get out of here
The fattest people
On this podcast
Indians by far
The worst bodies
On the planet
We not masculine
That's what I'm telling you
I can't handle no black bitch
Hey
That was a hard bitch
On that one son
Yo
That was a hard bitch
On that one son
Jesus
Beautiful
Beloved
Sometimes belligerent Black bitch There we go Nah that's good Wait bitch on how it's on Jesus beautiful beloved sometimes belligerent
black bitch
there we go
nah that's good
wait a minute
this could be genius
this could be black women
trying to get black men
to stop dying
from heart failure
and hypertension
and all these things
yo
that might be genius
black women
y'all are really
fucking geniuses
and the genius line
is I'd rather you order
two meals
cause ain't nobody
gonna order two meals
that's where you're like,
this is wild.
I'm not spending another $20
on more endless shrimp.
You know what I mean?
It's just the endless shrimp.
We're good.
That's a genius move.
Yo, hey,
shouts to black women
always holding down black men, man.
They really found a way
to save black lives.
Maybe they just want
to keep all the Cheddar Bay biscuits
for themselves.
Son.
You know what I mean?
Cheddar Bay, son.
Hold on.
I want to go back.
Dessert is gay?
Is that what you guys are saying right now?
She's saying it, and I'll be ordering dessert, and it's kind of gay now that I think about it.
All right.
I'm not going to stop.
Let me, let me, let me, let me.
They gave you the small spoon and shit like that.
Hey, this bitch got on to something, yo.
All right. This bitch got onto something Yo Alright Certain desserts
If you order a milkshake
And it got the whipped cream on top
And you eat the whipped cream like this
You know
You rub it on your face
You know you just suck
You just suck
The whipped cream
The only way you can eat that straight
Is you drink the whole milkshake
And then it's at the bottom
And you scoop it out of the spoon.
Don't be going like this at the top of it.
And sucking loads of whipped cream into your fucking cheeks.
Now, that shit's a little gay.
That'd be me all day.
That'd be on my nose, all that shit.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Now, but the act of eating dessert.
What about a masculine dessert, An apple pie with ice cream?
An apple pie a la mode.
It's a little gay.
You can't say a la mode, son.
You can't say a la mode.
You know what I mean?
Yo, let me get an apple pie.
Let me get a scoop of ice cream with that bitch.
And you know what I'm thinking about?
You can't say a la mode.
You can't say a la mode.
What man would say?
You got to say that like this.
Can I have that a la mode? What man would say? You got to say that like this. Can I have that a la mode?
Back of your hand got such a hip when you say a la mode.
Be a little teapot.
Hey, excuse me, can I have that a la mode?
Excuse me, waitress.
Excuse me, waitress.
Can I have that a la mode?
Thank you.
And then after your first bite, you got back.
This is delicious.
When you take the first bite roll your eyes okay all
right but what about if you just go straight straight sunday that's a little gay yo i'm not
ordering no banana splits yeah but then they like drizzle the chocolate on the side and shit like
that that's what they do in the kitchen, bro. You're just eating it.
Yeah, but then to eat it, you have to like get some ice cream, add a little chocolate with the spoon.
So you have to like strategically put the spoon.
And it's all, everything's soft about it.
But what if you just got straight apple pie or like a straight like cookie or brownie?
No ice cream, nothing creamy.
Nothing creamy.
I think creaminess is very gay.
Yo, what if you do this?
Yo, he's creamy as shit
What if you go like this
What if you take a bite
Of the brownie
But it's too hot
So you gotta go
Hop hop hop hop
Hop hop hop hop
Hop hop hop hop
Hop hop hop hop
That shit gay son
You can't even handle food
Can I have a glass of milk
If you're gonna ask
For a glass of milk
It's a fucking brownie, son.
End of date, man.
You know what?
That's hilarious.
That's just Andrew every day with his coffee.
He's like, oh, it's a little too hot.
It is a little too hot.
He puts it in the freezer.
I got an ice cube.
I got an ice cube in mine today.
Can I tell you something else?
I'm going to make a little confession.
When we would do comedy coming up,
we would always go to a diner afterward, Veselka.
Yep.
And I can't tell you how many times we split dessert.
Me, Andrew, sometimes other dudes.
You know what I mean?
That's why you don't call it split dessert.
When it's dudes eating dessert, you go, should we get dessert for the table?
You can't say in front of a waiter, yo, you want to split dessert?
Yeah, me and him are going to split dessert.
Two spoons.
You can't say that shit, bro.
Hey, we don't even need two spoons.
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
Come on, dog.
We eat it with our fists.
You ate your two spoons.
You fucking tongue kissing.
Yo.
You see?
You see why this is a big?
I'm trying to think what dessert you could eat.
That's the least gay.
You just can't.
Not on the first date.
But appetizers you could get, B.
And then another thing I was seeing...
Yo, appetizers?
Wait.
A little hummus and pita?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That wasn't that big of a deal.
It actually is all funny.
The appetizers wasn't that big of a deal because actually it's a flex.
It's like, oh shit, you got money.
Because you willing to get some apps and you know we're ordering a meal.
Alex is just talking
about food.
Isn't this crazy?
I mean,
you know,
this is a real topic
right here.
Appetizers is funny
because it's not gay at all
but it's like
kind of gay though.
Now that I thought
about it son,
you can't eat hummus
not gay.
Nah,
you could.
Nah,
not like that.
That's how you put
eating with the chips, bro?
You gotta just like
spit.
Come on, son.
Like this,
you can take a little pita.
Terrible piece of pita?
Yeah.
Terrible piece of pita?
This is too much pita
for one bite.
I don't want that many carbs.
Come on, bro.
Man, I ain't going in
on that hummus, though.
Son, why you think
being gay is so illegal
in the Middle East?
Because that shit
eating that fucking hummus, bro.
Eating that hummus will turn you, bro.
That shit might turn you, dude.
You and four of your boys eating hummus together.
You both go in for a swipe and your fucking fingers touch.
Yo, you start the wrist like this and all of a sudden it just comes down.
Oh, yeah, dog.
Come on, dude.
But another thing that I don't know where this came from.
What other apps?
No, but another thing that this don't know where the apps no but another thing that this came from
nowhere cheesecake all of a sudden cheesecake is the worst dessert ever made why i don't know
gay this is black twitter it's like if you order cheesecake you're a disgusting human being yeah
because y'all can't even have milk and shit you're all lactose and shit like that it's just not a
good it's not a good cheesecake is delicious yo cheesecake is delicious. Yo, that's fucking up
because y'all,
Juniors is,
that's some shit.
That's like Brooklyn,
black people shit.
I thought Juniors
was owned by Italians.
But in your,
it's like a Brooklyn thing.
Right.
Yo, Juniors,
that's our shit.
Juniors is owned by Italians?
Probably.
Ain't none of that shit
owned by black people.
I really thought it was
a black establishment.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Maybe it is.
Because it was in the heart of
downtown before downtown was downtown that's probably jewish okay any other appetizer that
you could order what if you order a shrimp scampi oh no what if you not order a shrimp scampi uh
what is it called a shrimp cocktail cocktail yo yeah come on son come on come on yo
lettuce wraps at pfF. Chang's?
Gay?
You order those with your bros, son.
Buffalo wings.
Buffalo wings is gay.
Oh, you can do buffalo wings.
Nah, you can do buffalo wings.
Nah.
That's chicken.
It's all over your fucking mouth, bro.
Ain't it funny how suddenly you bring up fried chicken, it's not gay.
Come on, son.
Ain't that something?
Gay.
There's no fried chicken.
Ain't that something?
Gay, bro. Nah, there's no. You can't tell the difference between a girl sucking dick in porn and a guy eating fried chicken It's not gay Come on son Ain't that something There's no fried chicken Ain't that something gay Nah there's no
You can't tell the difference
Between a girl sucking dick in porn
And a guy eating fried chicken
The sound
What
The sound
Yo
Black guys get ass into
The Popeyes chicken sandwich
As any porn star does
A dick
Facts
Take that shit right to the face
Facts
Stop
You know that
Chicken sandwich
It's so big
The chicken sandwich was
I just love the sauce face. Stop. You don't chicken sandwiches. The chicken sandwiches.
I just love the sauce.
All right. Wow.
Appetizers.
We learned something every day,
but so you can't order apps or dessert. I'm okay. All right.
Can I ask a question? Yeah.
And I felt Very strongly about this
I really have
Yo
Salted rim drinks?
Gay
That seems a little gay
I don't drink
But that seems gay
Fam
How you gonna do this?
Son
That shit is wild
Just watching you do. It's weird.
Let me look at the people at home, right?
Hey, just ask me if I like my picante.
Yo, how do you like your picante?
Let me try it.
That's not weird.
Why would you make me do that physical act?
Are you actually supposed to lick the salt?
How are you supposed to get in your goddamn mouth?
I thought it was decorative. Oh, he don't drink get in your goddamn mouth? I thought it was decorative.
Oh, he don't drink. He don't drink.
I thought it was like an umbrella.
You know what I mean? I should have just
therefore. No, you're supposed to lick it
and then take a sip every single time.
That's wild, yo.
Son, they're fucking tricking us, bro.
Is it because it's got tequila in it or something? Yeah, the salt, I guess,
goes well with tequila. But yo,'s got tequila in it or something Yeah the salt I guess Goes well with tequila
But yo even that tequila shot
I never felt comfortable
Doing that with the homies
Why can't you just pour that shit
In the drink yo
Why do we need salt
Yo
It don't change the flavor that much
I never do the salt shit
And now I don't even do the lime shit
I look at you a certain way
If you're a dude
That needs a lime
That bites the lime
Yeah
Son just take that shot
Like a man son
Sometimes that shot
Be too big Sometimes that shot Be too big Like a man son Sometimes that shot Be too big
Sometimes that shot
Like a man son
Yo out
Not to make this more gay
But I can't fit the whole thing
In my mouth
What other
What other
What other gay shit
Guacamole gay
Is guac gay
Yeah yo Come on bro That shit is gay yo Nah son nah Yo you know it's gay You can't make it at a table What other gay shit? Guacamole? Gay? Is guac gay? Yeah, yo.
Come on, bro.
That shit is gay, yo.
Nah, son.
Yo, you know what's gay?
You can't make it at a table.
You know what I mean?
That's gay.
I don't know it.
You know what's mad gay, though?
Churros, bro.
Oh, yo.
That's the dessert that's gay.
Son, churros, bro?
This is why it's gay.
Because the churros, they're covering that brown sugar shit.
So not only are youipping it in some liquid
And then eating this
Fucking dick like substance
After the churros
What do you always do
You right about it
You right
You right about it
Son you can't do that
Oh yeah you can't
Anything involving honey
Kinda gay
It's mad sticky
You know what I mean
Get all over your face
Yo Are pancakes gay Nah baby involving honey kind of gay it's mad sticky you know i mean to get all over your face yo are
pancakes gay maybe nah it seems kind of it's the i i'll convince it's kind of masculine you know i
mean it's hungry jack you know i mean pancakes might be the straightest because it's just like
a fat ass that you're just breaking into just bite bite. Yuck. You know what I mean? But you got to eat the full stack.
You can't individual like one at a time.
What, portion control is gay?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I understand what he's saying.
You got to knife through all three.
So if it's three pancakes, you got to knife through all three.
You can't separate them into three different saucers that are on the plate.
Right, right, right.
And eat them individually.
That shit is wild gay individually that shit is wild
gay that's super gay why is that why
oh oh yo pancake ain't on a dessert menu that's right you don't ever see pancake on a dessert menu. That's right. You don't ever see pancake on a dessert menu. It should be dessert, right? Crepes?
Crepes are gay, though. That's gay pancakes.
That's gay pancakes, bro.
Definitionally gay pancakes.
Real talk.
Like I said.
They call that shit
man cakes.
That's how you know
it's gay, dog.
Anything from Canada,
gay.
Real, son.
Son,
syrup comes out the wood.
Son.
Yo, come on, yo. Canadian bacon.. Syrup comes out the wood. Yo.
Crab.
Canadian bacon.
It's tree cum.
It is.
It's syrup.
Fucking Mark.
Anything from Canada, gay, son.
Yo, he set that whole shit up 45 seconds ago. He wanted it all.
He wanted it all.
Okay, okay, hold on.
Let's think.
Let's think. Let's think Let's think
Let's think
Okay
Alright
Go
Go
Let's say you have a Freaky Friday situation
With a guy and a girl
Describe Freaky Friday
So two people switch bodies
You gotta describe it
So I don't think they can hear me
They can if you speak loud
Alright so
Freaky Friday situation
A guy and a girl switch bodies
Yeah
You are now in a girl's body yeah and
you suck your own dick is that gay hell yeah mark mark mark we're just talking about food being gay
this is why i say anything from canada son it was a soft conversation it was silly and then you just
made it real gay yes why bringing that up is gay yes say what
is sucking your own dick gay oh man yeah this is like a 20 minute conversation no no no no no no
we're not gonna have this conversation right now this is not gonna be this is this is for patreon
okay we're getting back to foods that are gay okay in all seriousness in all seriousness okay
is melon gay oh fruits i have no problem saying it is because i don't like melon
so get it out of here is it cut pineapple probably the gayest though i love pineapple
i love pineapple but that shit gay yo It's mad Get out the room
You can't get
You can't get pineapple
Out of here
That's not fair dog
Pineapple gay yo
That's like the best fruit
I know it's the best
But it's gay
It just is
Nah but you don't have
Any points for it
Like
Like listen
We're not just being
Homophobic here
We need facts To back up our arguments I'm kidding Listen, we're not just being homophobic here.
We need facts to back up our arguments, okay?
Oh, God.
Son, it's just too fruity.
You know what I mean?
It's mad tropical.
You get blowjobs from it.
Huh?
You get blowjobs. Why?
Your cum tastes better.
It makes your cum taste better, which is kind of straight.
That's the gayest, yo. No No that's the straightest part of it
Nah bro
Because it gets your dick sucked more
By girls afterwards
By dudes
Guys don't care what your cum tastes like
They just can't wait to suck it out of your dick hole
Dude
Dude
You think some guy
Who's been waiting on the other side of a glory hole
For fucking an hour
For a dick to pop through So he could suck it is worried about the flavor of the cum?
Do you think a girl is going to be convinced that I eat pineapple and my cum will taste good?
Or do you think a gay guy is going to be like, yeah, great, let's go?
I don't think gay guys care about the taste of cum.
I think they're just too excited to get it.
It's almost like caviar.
It's on pineapples and berries, a little gay.
Hey, hey, hey.
Berries, dog?
Come on.
That shit is berries, dog? Yo, I'm starting to think that you're homophobic
what they put in special k say what woman's ass cereal special k what they put in that
red berries berries yeah that's a little gay special k is not even gay come on yo come on yo
special k i mean i don't know like that shit is special you're gonna eat some cornflakes bro
like you're gonna get the special what special k is not fucking it's gay cornflakes son it really
is no it's not it's retard cornflakes that's what it is that's why they call it special
no that shit is cornflakes but it's a little sweet
nah nah nah i'm not gonna let you talk about it dude cornflakes, but it's a little sweet. Nah, nah, nah. I'm not going to let you talk about it.
Dude, cornflakes got a fucking cock on the box.
Cornflakes, yeah.
Yeah, that shit is manly, yo.
No.
What does a rooster have to do with corn?
Son, Jimmy cracked corn at the crack of the dawn, you know what I mean?
I don't know what you're talking about.
This podcast has gone off the rails.
Okay, we're done. That's it.
Okay, we're done.
That's it.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second.
Listen, I got to do a huge shout out to my guys over at Radix, man.
Radix have been coming through.
It's been a very anxious time for a lot of people.
They're still out there supplying that CBD, making sure people are calm, comfortable,
cool, got something to chill out and smoke with the lady i know i know
akash was smoking with the lady a little bit you hit that radix took that down yeah took that down
just as high this time not as high because we did two back to back when the first time yeah we did
one felt great went to sleep i think it was even better though that gummy yeah you told me about
oh yo take the gummy be in a dark room after just kind of relax you
will pass the fuck out the melatonin i slept 11 hours on that yeah be careful with that shit but
it is amazing it is it is amazing yeah so radix has been dope man they obviously have all the
great um cbd products that they've been uh supplying before the uh pandemic but uh you can
get the the joints that they the pre-rolls as they
call them.
You can actually get the flour itself.
It literally looks like weed.
So if you like rolling joints yourself, you're like mixing a little in with your tobacco.
Let's say you roll your own cigarettes.
Mix a little CBD in there, man.
Calm yourself down.
But they also have all these other products that you can use.
They have the tincture as it's called.
They have the drops.
They have the gummies.
Everything you could possibly imagine, go do it. They have NeuroRoot. If you need to be focusing
a little bit better, you need to be a little bit more sharper, have that brain function
at the peak ability that is possible, make sure you get that NeuroRoot. But they also do something
really cool that I thought was great and I wanted to support, which is they are creating hand sanitizer.
Okay. The machines that make CBD are quite similar to the machines that make hand sanitizer,
apparently. So what they're doing is making hand sanitizer. You can buy a bottle and for every
bottle you buy, they will donate a bottle themselves to healthcare people in need. So
you are helping the people on the front line
and you are making sure that you are clean at home. Go do that. Go support the people that
need it. Support Radix. That's RadixRemedies.com. And as always, you get that discount. You get 10%
discount for your entire order if you go to RadixRemedies.com slash flagrant. That's R-A-D-I-X
Remedies, R-E-M-E-D-I-e-s dot com slash flagrant so go check out the boys
out there and if you're in austin i don't know if their factory is open or if their store is open
but if it is go say what up to them because they're always welcoming to the asshole army
brethren you'll uh go out there keep it tight and smoke one down for us all right let's get back to
the show okay uh guys i think we need to end this podcast
before shit gets too crazy.
Is there anything else?
Anything else you want to talk about?
Akash?
Well, do you guys care about
Ja Rule challenging 50 Cent to an IG battle?
No, I don't care.
Oh, shouts to Reggie Conquest,
our boy Reggie.
Oh, yeah.
Reggie was in...
TSA Bay is our homie, dog.
That's like...
Who's TSA Bay?
TSA Bay.
Season four,
Insecure, the premiere.
He's so fucking funny. Philly comic're we're cool with the philly gang six foot nothing gang
uh but reggie conquest is one of the comics good dude it's so funny to see him on insecure and
he's hilarious on it i was actually really losing interest in the show and this season i think this
guy might bring me back into like he's on insecure and he has a fuck scene with Issa.
Yeah, he fucks Issa, yo.
Opening scene.
From the back.
From the back.
Yo, multiple positions, dog.
Multiple positions.
Oh, I just saw that Twitter clip.
You see naked ass Reggie, yo.
Yeah, with his gun hanging out,
just cracking that thing from the back.
So funny, dog.
You know what I mean?
Let's go.
Yo, shouts to Reg, dog.
You're so enthusiastic seeing your friend gay.
I mean, seeing your friend naked What?
Sorry
I'm still gay right now
That's a pretty slip right there, dog
You were thinking about him
In a homosexual way
You wanted to treat him
Like a churro
Just
Suck that thing up
You know what I mean?
We gotta wrap this up
Alright, last question
Oh man
No, Being serious.
I'm sure we are.
Okay.
Appetizers, pretty much gay.
Dessert, pretty much gay.
Yeah.
Some fruits gay.
Some fruits not gay.
Pancakes, definitely not gay, depending on how you eat it.
Right.
Right?
Sucking a guy's dick.
Bitch. Listen. Listen. it. Right. Right? Sucking a guy's dick. Listen.
Listen.
Listen.
Listen.
Listen.
Sucking a guy's dick.
Dick is your colleague.
He's not your friend.
Yo.
He's your colleague.
Guys, this has been an episode.
He's your colleague.
Are you getting a promotion out of it?
No.
You don't even work with him directly.
Didn't eat a lot of pineapple directly Didn't eat a lot of pineapple
Didn't eat a lot of pineapple
His dick might not taste good
Is sucking a guy's dick gay?
What do you
Are you
Is it like churros after
Or are you
That's the only thing that makes it gay
In my opinion
Is what you do after you suck the dick
If you suck it begrudgingly
Then you may be just in prison
It's not gay
But if you suck it with enthusiasm
That's gay
Well we got to the bottom of it guys
Sucking dick in prison is actually interesting
Is that gay or not?
We'll save it for the Patreon
Alright
This has been another episode of Flagrant 2
If you're still listening to this podcast
God bless you We went off the rails several times we appreciate you we love you we will see you on
patreon this friday patreon.com slash flagrant 2 asshole army keep it tight