Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Schulz Reacts: Britney Griner freed & Elon Boo’d at Dave Chappelle show
Episode Date: December 13, 2022What's up everybody, we got a fun one today right before the Flagrant guys leave for a quick trip to Morocco for the World Cup! Hear me more about Morocco, Britney Griner, Elon and Chappelle and much ...much more in this ep of the GREATEST HANG ON THE INTERNET. INDULGE 00:00 - Going to Morocco to watch the Semis 13:30 - Cultural Differences in Morocco 20:56 - Britanny Griner - Russia got the better deal 48:21 - Musk getting booed + Buffet capping 01:18:36 - Twitter files part 2 - shadow banning did happen 01:27:49 - Indonesia banning hook-ups in the jungle? 01:32:31 - Bored Apes Lawsuit 01:37:15 - AI taking over - Lensa & ChatGPT 01:52:42 - World Cup predictions - France, Mbappe being the best
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What's up, everybody?
Welcome to Flagrant.
Listen, Saturday changed the trajectory of my life, okay?
I went to a soccer bar, a football bar, if you will, a football club.
I don't even know if I'm allowed to share what this place is.
Shout out to Kyle Martino and his place at 141 Christie.
If we weren't allowed to say that, that's my bad.
And if we are, you're welcome for the free promo.
You got an absolutely amazing establishment.
And we went there to watch the Morocco Christian Ronaldo game.
Yeah.
Okay?
We don't give a fuck about nobody else on Portugal.
Maybe Pepe.
Shouts to you still playing.
But, because I used to use him back in the day.
That motherfucker been playing for 20 years.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Long time.
Long time.
Okay?
Madrid.
He used to play for Madrid.
Yeah, I see.
Okay.
So, Pepe, I watched Cristiano Ronaldo.
Uh-huh.
Pump it up.
You know, and I saw my Moroccan people.
I saw Moroccan people there.
I saw my North Africans there.
And they were so fucking happy about this victory, okay?
It was unbelievable.
I've never seen a joy like this.
And I was taking it back, man.
Not only was I taking it back, I was taking a forward.
I was taking a back.
I was taking a forward.
I was taking a side to side.
Everything you could possibly take into, I was except one thing.
What?
I wasn't taking a Morocco.
And that felt like someone was missing.
Wow.
They asked me, they go, Schultz, do you want to go to Qatar to watch the World Cup?
I said,
I don't need to be in Qatar.
Is Qatar in it?
No.
The fuck am I going to Qatar for
if you're not in it?
I want to be with the people.
I want to be with my people.
I want to be with the people
that are going to be moved
by victory or defeat.
Yes.
So you know what we're going to do, boys?
What are we going to do?
You already do know
because we've discussed it
for about an hour before this goddamn podcast. We're going to do, boys? What are we going to do? You already do know because we discussed it for about an hour before this goddamn podcast.
We're going to fucking Morocco, boys.
Yalala.
Yes.
Yalala.
We're coming to motherfucking Morocco.
We're going to Marrakesh.
Okay?
We're going to the land of Dove's people.
Okay?
We're going there.
And by that, I mean the Moroccan people, not the Jews.
Because it's very clear, based on this World Cup,
whose side Morocco's on when it comes to the Israel-Palestine conflict.
Yeah, Allah's helped him in a few games, it seems like.
Yeah, I think.
I don't know if it's the God of Abraham.
Dude, it's so funny.
Every time Morocco scores, Dove gets so excited,
and then there's a giant
Palestinian flag
that just takes off
the entire TV.
And he has to immediately
fake a smile
in support of his brethren.
The point is,
we're going to Morocco.
Let's go.
We're going to see
where your family used to live.
Mm-hmm.
Okay?
Mama.
Mama.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, we're going to see
where they used to run the ports.
The Jews used to run the ports.
Oh, okay.
You didn't know that?
What happened to them after that?
They went to another place.
Why?
But Marrakesh isn't by a port.
All right, wherever the fuck Marrakesh is,
we're going to Marrakesh, and we're going as a family.
Some people aren't part of the family, Miles and Shub,
but the rest of us...
Listen, Miles' got episodes to get out.
This episode right now is out because Miles is not in Morocco.
Thank you, Miles.
Thank you, Miles.
Thank you, Miles.
Thank you, Miles.
Miles.
Miles.
Miles almost got a free trip.
This guy's brilliant.
I was saying, yo, we should go to Morocco for this thing, and Miles goes, I got a great idea.
Great idea.
Why don't half of us go to Morocco, and then the other half go to France?
Still a great idea.
Shifty will go to Morocco with you. So I half go to France. Still a great idea. Shifty will go to Morocco with you.
I'll go to France with Mark.
Yes.
And out.
So he almost and out.
That's actually a sick idea to me.
But that is where he lost it.
When he positioned himself to go to Paris, you were like, wow.
No, because you need somebody to film what's going on over there.
But you almost lost it, too.
Al almost lost it.
I don't know.
That's a better idea.
I was like, Al don't need to come to Morocco.
And now he got his little Moroccan pants on. He's all in on the thing. Oh, I'm all in. That's a better idea. I was like, Al don't need to come to Morocco. And now he's got his little Moroccan pants on.
He's all in on the thing.
Oh, I'm all in.
He's trying to get back in.
Even though they are.
We haven't even got Al's ticket yet, to be honest with you.
I don't know how.
I've got four stops on the way to Morocco.
Hey, hey, hey.
He's taking the Greyhound?
He's taking the Greyhound to Morocco.
That's a fact.
I might not make it after this comment.
Moroccans are cheaters, bro.
Wow.
Wow.
Wait, how?
I think they paid off their coach to keep Ronaldo out.
With what money?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's racist.
Son, you think that, yeah, but also correct.
My racism is accurate.
No, no, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keep talking that shit.
They took him out the game before, and it actually kind of backfired because they took him out.
What do you mean?
They took him out.
The guy who replaced him had a hat trick.
That's what I'm saying.
That's how it backfired.
I'm saying they paid the coach.
They paid the coach to blow this shit because they didn't want Portugal.
Can we just start punching Al in here with dumb ideas?
Yo, I'm telling you.
I'm telling you.
Yo, yo, listen, listen, listen, listen.
Dumb ideas.
Listen.
Punch him in the side of his head.
They scored more goals without him.
You don't take the nicest nigga in the world out the World Cup.
You don't do that.
But he's not that nice anymore.
Yes, he is.
No, he's not.
He's on the come down.
I understand.
They're giving him 300 mil.
You're blinded by his good looks, Alan.
I don't blame you, but it's not correct.
This is something that I do.
Beautifulness doesn't mean they play as good?
No, no, no.
That's not exactly how it works.
It's not female volleyball.
Okay.
Listen, the reality is there's this, remember the journalist in Qatar that ended up dying,
the American journalist?
Grant Wall.
Not Khashoggi, motherfucker.
That's a different Middle Eastern people.
You're coming in hot.
What?
We're going to the lion's den right now.
I don't know who we're talking about.
Who are you talking about?
I'm talking about Grant Wall.
Oh, yeah.
Grant Wall came out with the LGBTQ.
Yeah.
Okay.
Shout out Graham Wizard with the greatest, what are they, homonyms?
Acronyms?
Acronyms.
I knew it was a nym.
I thought it was pseudonym.
I'm trying to judge you.
That's a homonym, I think.
That's a homonym.
He got the greatest homonyms.
He does have the greatest homonyms.
But, yeah, what was he saying?
Oh, yeah.
The rainbows.
The rainbows. The rainbows.
So he came out in support of the rainbows,
and then he got some respiratory illness,
and then now he's dead while he was out there.
That's a real thing.
They said he got bronchitis, and then he got a cardiac arrest.
Cardiac arrest, heart attack.
Do you know what I mean?
It is a little bit suspect.
That being said, after hearing your awful opinion,
I go, oh, I see why you'd want to murder people when they say dumb stuff.
You know what I mean?
That was the first time I ever felt Qatari.
Honestly?
You've acted so much more Middle Eastern in the past couple of days.
Yeah, dude.
It's crazy.
Yalla-la-la-la?
Yalla-la-la-la.
Really?
Oh, sick.
Like in what way?
Careful with the hoods on these Moroccan burgers.
I'm going to point to you. I'm pointing it out.
Very pointing it out.
I'm pointing it down.
So the hood has black in it.
What you, what you worried about?
Son, it's this quilted garment shit he got on here right now.
You don't think I'm killing it, son?
Nah.
I wanted to insult your outfit, but you actually do look kind of cool.
Have you taken this off?
Today I killed it, yeah.
You wore this during the game, and then the next time I see you, you're also wearing it.
I haven't taken it off.
My wife hasn't stopped cleaning and cooking, too.
So it's an interesting thing to have.
What is she wearing?
Are you putting her in a specific outfit?
Yeah, I do have it.
She looks like she's scuba diving.
But the reality is, she's not scuba diving at all.
She's just keeping the house good.
Great thing.
It's funny.
So we went to brunch the other day for Shu's birthday.
Shout out.
Happy birthday, Shu.
Happy birthday, Shu.
Happy birthday, Shu.
I don't know why we're looking at Chifty.
Go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're welcome.
Dude, where did he take us?
Slopshack?
Wasn't it?
Wasn't it?
It's like a Lebanese.
It's just a Lebanese restaurant.
It's a good Lebanese restaurant.
It's a Lebanese chain called Slopshack.
Yeah, that's what it's called.
Dude, remember that?
It was a good Lebanese restaurant.
No, no.
Remember when the waiter came over
and she was like,
you just got to punch the slop and then lick it off your knuckles?
Do you remember that?
I remember that.
That's not a place.
Yeah, that was a crazy thing.
She said that.
She was like, the crevices are that you.
Yeah.
No, no.
She was like, this is spoon.
Yeah.
She was like, this is spoon.
Lebanese people don't eat with their hands.
Say again?
There's just a regular Lebanese restaurant.
I don't know if she was Lebanese or not.
Nah, real Africans eat with their hands.
Oh.
Say not real Africans.
Oh, that's a good point.
Wait, Lebanese? good point. Lebanese?
The Middle Eastern Lebanese?
You know what?
I was going on Morocco.
My brain was still Morocco, but whatever.
Sometimes we shoot.
We North Africans, bro.
Yeah, we North Africans.
We're McGrebbies, right, Duff?
Yeah, we're McGrebbies all day.
Tunisia, Algeria, Morocco.
Let's go.
You know what I'm saying?
Nah, fuck.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Nah, we take it. We're taking you for now Nah, fuck. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Nah, we take it, we take it.
We're taking you for now if you win.
If you win, you're African.
If you lose...
We're already one step ahead
of the other three African countries.
You're not even African.
Bruh.
This is your first trip to Africa.
Do you see that?
Do you see that?
I'm African.
Yo, low-key...
I'm grandfathered in.
You could be Indian, son.
Get the fuck out of here.
I think you're Indian.
That was...
Yo, low-key... Yo, that was so disrespectful, bro. Why out of here. That was so disrespectful, bro.
Why is that disrespectful?
That was so disrespectful, bro.
No, I'm being that for real.
Indian.
Yeah, I think you're fucking Indian.
Are you saying Native American Indian?
No, no, no.
Indian from India.
But you said they fuck dirt.
I don't want to be those people.
That's what you say.
I learned all my...
He said mud.
Mud.
Mud is wet.
Dirt is dry.
All my international knowledge comes from him.
They want to fuck something dry.
They do their women, bro.
We're going there.
Stop.
It stings less when you're African.
That's what I said.
Now that I'm African,
it's okay, bro.
It's just browns on the browns.
You know?
I'm going to the motherland, so I'm happy about that.
Shout out to us.
Do you have stressing over there?
Yeah, what prompted this decision?
Because literally four days ago, we were not going anywhere.
We're all going to just relax in New York City.
Four days ago?
You mean yesterday?
Yeah, maybe two days ago.
It was the three guys sitting in front of us when we were at 141 Christie.
Sorry if I can't say this.
It's like a private football club.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
Damn.
I don't think you can go there.
What do you mean me?
It just makes it more exciting.
Why can't I go?
His lame ass.
Who can't go?
You walked in with him.
That's why you're done.
They would ask me trivia.
Mark was getting exposed.
When we went to the first game, Mark was getting exposed.
He don't know shit, right?
What do you mean?
Stop talking, Mark. He was saying things. know shit, right? What do you mean? He's not talking.
He was saying things.
I saw people giving him side eyes.
Like, stop it.
This rookie-ass motherfucker.
This guy don't know nothing about Team France.
That was Abba when he was here.
He was like, you don't know shit, bro.
It's a la la blue, bro.
They had to correct you on how to cheer for your own team.
I'm going to Paris.
I'm diverting our flight.
Miles, you're in!
Miles, you're in! We're going to Paris, bro. I'm going to Paris. I'm diverting our flight. Miles, you're in! Miles, you're in!
We're going to Paris, bro.
I'm going to get the flight to land.
It is, it is.
You're in, chump!
Fuck the whites!
You can't trust these whites, bro.
Nah, I like that.
You can't trust these whites, bro.
So this outfit right here?
Nah, bro.
What are these bitches crying about, yo?
Nah, bro.
You're not supposed to wear pants.
It's not a woman's outfit.
It's not it.
This is not it? This is not it. Why not? So I saw your story and shit like that. Pull this shit up to supposed to wear pants. It's not a woman's outfit. It's not it. This not it?
It's not it.
Why not?
So I saw your story and shit like that.
Well, then she got to do about here, and then maybe it's a woman's outfit.
Yeah, that is right.
You right.
You right.
I had to ask your shorty, did she dress you that day?
Because I was about to, like, rip it, but I didn't want to disrespect her.
Okay.
And when she said, like, nah, he put that on after, I was like, oh, thank God.
Wait, why do you think this isn't it?
It ain't it.
We're going to a place where this is where they dress.
Yeah, you're going to have to wear that.
The way you did it wasn't it? It ain't it. We're going to a place where this is where they dress. Yeah, you're going to have to wear that. The way you did it wasn't it.
So maybe it's just you.
By the way, he's going to spend the whole time looking for the most fire version of this.
Yeah, but you know, I do it good, though.
It's not that.
What do you do good?
I do it good, bro.
Don't you have some Instagram girl that styles you?
Only when I go to L.A. so I don't have to pass.
Only when I go to L.A.
You did that to you LA You did that to you
You did that to you
Wow
The guy got not a single thing
I don't like to pack
When I go to LA
So
Yo shout out Julia
Does my hat match my sneakers?
Is this the 90s?
Is it the 90s still?
You're more artistic
When it comes to
Have you ever wore a hat
That doesn't match your sneakers?
This guy's 30
Dressing like he's 70
Stop it
Come on, bro.
Like, this guy.
Every day he comes in here, he's just like.
Explain it.
It don't work, Al.
Explain it.
It do not work.
Son, this guy killed it with the hooey.
We know.
I'm battling right now.
Why you got no hooey out there, bro?
If they don't know.
We're battling.
Why you got no hooey, bro?
If they don't know hooey out there.
God damn.
I need clarification.
I need clarification.
You know what?
You got it.
You got it.
You got it. You know what you fucked up? You got it. You got it. You got it.
You know what you fucked up?
You said 30.
He's damn near 40.
Yeah.
30 is you, bro.
He's 40 dressed in 60.
Yeah, I was trying to make the, like, the air.
I don't know.
I was confused.
I was like, am I getting compliments?
I was like, this is a nice way to treat somebody.
You look great.
You look awesome.
I do feel good.
Yeah.
Son of a bitch.
And I wish he had a worse outfit on because I want to kill him.
You did find a way to make those pants work.
100%.
Morocco, baby.
Son, that's crazy.
But your skinny little legs and them big ass pants, bro.
Son, you can't tell.
You can't tell.
You can't.
You look like you can't dance.
No, it's illusion.
You can't see.
They big right now.
You don't know.
The last thing you need is baggy on your legs, bro.
Nah, they big.
We good.
We good.
We good.
Are there any cultural things we need to not do in Morocco, Dov?
That's a great question.
Just talk to me because I'm going to fuck this up.
There's nothing if we say wrong.
I went to Sweden and I didn't come back for a month.
You're not going to keep that same energy in Morocco.
That's true.
I'll be mad pussy.
Fuck off.
Exactly.
That's racist.
You're more confrontational with whites way more afraid of rockets you're more
confrontational with
whites just admit it
you're more
confrontational with
white people
I mean that's
literally a fact
he says he can
beat up any white guy
yeah
white people the same way
they be talking shit
to white people
black guy shows up
they're like
you know what
you're right about that
in high school
I used to have
my private school
friends call me
and ask me to
bring black people
to fight
I used to have my brother school friends call me and ask me to bring black people to fight.
I used to have my brother say, yo, could you bring some of your black friends to the fight? Shout out to Chris.
Is that real?
You were the merchant of death.
I was the merchant.
I'm the merchant of death.
You're the merchant of death.
You're the merchant of the dark.
You're the merchant of the dark.
That's crazy.
For real.
I used to charge 25 a head.
What?
Charge 25 a head?
All right, now you're crazy.
You don't think I had child soldiers?
No, you ain't.
You were in high school.
Cody, Tony, Torchwell.
You don't think I had my child soldiers?
So you say you just paid?
That motherfucker inspired me.
That was you.
Didn't I tell you he inspired me?
Yes.
I paid for the pamphlet not to get him out of there
to see how he organized.
Can I get an internship, please?
That's it.
Simple as that.
You're an African, Doug.
Okay, it says people in Morocco do a handshake or a cheek-to-cheek kiss that happens between two people of the same sex.
So we can do that?
Yeah.
You guys just hold hands all night.
Fucking rainbow shit, but you're like, chill, rainbow niggas?
No, no, no.
That don't make sense.
Cheek-to-cheek kiss is different.
It's not here.
It's you put butt lips together and you just go like this.
Oh, you pull guard.
You go like this.
You go, but you have to make sure it's not a side.
You have to go hole to hole to hole.
You have to go hole to hole.
Come on.
Come on.
Hello.
Dude, don't do that.
Dude, I'm trying to be Moroccan.
I'm trying to immerse myself in the culture.
Yo, I think you just French kiss me butt style.
The one trick you can play on them that they hate this butt is you tuck your dick and balls
between your legs when you do it.
They don't see it.
And then you just tickle their little butt hole from the back.
You go bulldog and then you just do it like that. Oh, gotcha. Yeah, yeah. That's kind see it. And then you just tickle their little butthole from the back. You go bulldog,
and then you just do it like that.
Oh, gotcha.
That's kind of fun.
It's called French Moroccan kiss.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Yeah, yeah.
Dude, there's so many good things
about Moroccan culture.
If a woman wants to be greeted...
Do you like Cinnabons with bees on them?
What?
Or flies?
Do you like your baked goods
with flies on them?
No.
Oh, fuck.
I don't particularly like that.
I don't know if we should go then.
Why?
Is there a way just...
I don't think there's any escaping that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's nothing that stops the flies
from getting to the sugar.
Yeah.
Duff, come on.
It's natural, dog.
It's natural.
But he said we're staying at a luxury resort.
Can we get some pushback?
We are staying at a luxury resort.
This resort is locked.
No, we're not staying at a...
We're staying at a Riyadh. We're staying at a Riyadh. What is a pushback? We are staying at a luxury resort. This resort is locked. No, we're not staying at a, we're staying at a Riyadh.
We're staying at a Riyadh.
What is a Riyadh?
What's a Riyadh?
Andrew?
Dove, you tell us.
This is your people.
Yeah.
They're like,
it's like a boutique hotel,
but it's like a home,
but built inside the medina
from the outside,
from the inside out.
So when you walk by it.
You ever see Dove
build up steam to bullshit?
Yeah, like,
I'm still.
That was awesome.
That was awesome.
It's built
from the inside out.
I feel like a hot chicken bali right now.
He realized he did not describe it
and he's like, I'm going to salad through this whole
fucking thing. That was fantastic,
bro. It's a house in the Medina.
In the souk. That's always salad, Dove.
You're going to see a door and you're going to be like,
oh, where are we staying? You walk in and there's going to be
a house with a little pool in the middle surrounded by it.
For the people at home and for me, what's the Medina?
What's the Shuk?
The Medina is the walled city in Marrakesh.
I don't even know if it's really walled, but yeah, it's walled.
Yeah, it is walled.
The Shuk is like the marketplace.
And now what's the Shuk?
Shuk is a marketplace.
All these tiny little streets.
You're welcome.
And yeah, we're going to show you guys.
You guys will see video and all that kind of stuff.
So all these tiny little streets that, I mean, probably have existed for, I don't know, thousands of years.
How long is the Moroccan Empire?
Thousands of years, maybe?
I'm not—
And just a bunch of people have their little boutiques.
It's crazy.
It's just so cool.
Some people are selling food.
Some people are selling fucking teacups and that kind of shit.
Some is like tourist attractions, and some is, you know, you can actually get meat there.
You know, it's just awesome.
Before there was Dubai and all this other shit,
people would vacation there.
But this is legit.
But don't compare it to Dubai.
This is like real culture.
Exactly, but it was like,
this was a colony of France.
It's like the Yves Saint Laurent
was like inspired by there.
His home is there.
I think he's actually buried there.
So they made his home into a museum.
We can go.
That's fucking sick, too.
Question about the shuk.
What can and can't you eat?
If I go to India, there's very specific things if I take y'all.
Don't eat this.
Don't eat this.
Don't eat this.
Can you drink water?
Stay away from the water.
No, no bottled water.
Stay away from salads and that kind of shit.
Yeah, anything that's not cooked, basically.
That's typical.
But everything else, it's halal.
Why no salads? Because it's washed in water? Yeah. I don't know why that is, but everything else, you know, it's halal. Wait, why no salads?
Because it's like
washed in water?
Yeah.
I don't know why that is,
but I always hear that
when you go to Third World.
It's like,
don't fuck with the salad.
You're going to have pastilla,
couscous, little tagines,
the meat's good.
Yeah.
And we're going to like
luxury restaurants.
You'll understand.
It's a pretty...
I'm not liking this.
Pretty nice place.
It's your first time to Africa.
You're already backing out?
I mean, it's not real Africa. Pretty nice place. So your first time to Africa, you're already backing out? I mean,
it's not real Africa.
Hey, Al.
Al.
Yo, put Morocco up against
any place in Africa right now.
I'm just saying,
that parish shit.
Al, man, privilege.
This is crazy right now.
Yo, that parish shit
sounds kind of nice, bro.
Like,
Miles and Mark
were selling his parish shit
and I was like,
I mean.
Who are you going to get
to replace Al now?
Wee-wee.
Let's wee-wee on these niggas.
Like, what's up?
Wait a minute.
We can replace Al.
Does it have to be, do we have to replace by race?
Yes.
Jameel.
Tell Jameel.
Tell Jameel.
You got to have two.
Listen, you got to tell Jameel.
Tell Jameel he's absolutely coming.
We're making this happen right now.
Will it be dangerous if I wear a France jersey and support France while we're watching the game?
Yes.
That's a great question.
But do it.
But what is so cool about this, and I think we've spoken about this about football.
What?
He said, yes, it's dangerous, but do it.
Yeah.
And you look like the Sun King.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
You literally look like the acidity of the Louis XVII?
XVI? XVI?
XVI? Yeah, yeah.
Just the king that was the first...
He just had long gay hair.
But I mean, do we want him getting fucked up out there,
like stoned and shit?
Bro, I can handle it.
But this is years of anger and resentment.
This is why football, the World Cup, is so good.
You're just replaying war.
Every one of these countries have gone to war.
Like thousands, hundreds of thousands of people
have died over this.
Morocco was colonized
by France for years.
Are they still?
No, they don't.
No?
Does France have
the right to any of the minerals
or that kind of shit?
All I'm saying is
you don't know shit, bro.
Maybe.
Son, it's hard
knowing stuff about you.
It's really hard.
It's really honestly difficult.
It's hard knowing things
about your shit. You don't know everything. You guys are crazy. Andrew knows one thing about every country. It's hard knowing things about your shit.
You guys know everything.
You guys are crazy.
Andrew knows everything about every country.
That's easy.
Listen, I know everything about Scotland.
I know shit about fucking Puerto Rico.
I'll stop.
Son.
Rich port.
Rich port.
Rich port.
I knew that.
And I killed that.
I murdered that.
And I knew car.
And y'all motherfuckers said I was wrong on car.
Fuck all y'all.
Fuck all y'all.
You don't know three cities in Puerto Rico.
It don't matter.
It don't matter.
I know the importance.
Coquí, the little frog, that's our national animal.
Two, three cities.
Gang.
Old San Juan.
You knew San Juan.
What's the tax rate?
What's the tax rate? Depends. I'm San Juan. Tax rate. Yo. Say again?
Ooh, the tags are nice.
What's the tax rate?
Depends.
Are you a citizen or are you a rich person
that are taking advantage of it?
Ooh!
Al, come with some heat!
Come on, come on!
Al, come with some heat!
Come on!
Hey, how much battery life you got on your iPhone,
on your Apple Watch, yo?
Right now?
Yeah.
81%.
Oh, me too.
Nice.
God damn, bro. I'm at 86. You're 96?
86. Or 86? 86.
Yeah, what problem does it switch at? Why are you Apple Watch? Why do you think you have
so much more battery? Do you think it's because you're
lazier genetically or something like that?
You're just
not using as much
of your energy.
Fuck you.
I'm so good. You think that's it?
You're just sitting around doing that?
I woke up a little late this morning,
but nah, that may be the case.
All I know how to do is get his battery so far,
but this shit is pretty cool.
Okay.
Now I can't get out.
Oh, done.
Okay, there we go.
Ooh, Wi-Fi.
See, you see that?
I know all that.
Can you identify the Coquit?
Top left, bang. Nah, he got this. Come on. I know Puerto Rico. Listen, we See? You see that? I know all that. Okay. Can you identify the Coquit? Top left.
Bang.
Nah, he got this.
Come on.
I know Puerto Rico.
Listen, no, we got important shit to discuss.
I know Puerto Rico.
Hey, there's important geopolitical shit to discuss, Mark, and you're getting off track.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I'm better than y'all.
Okay.
Yeah.
Can we talk about this?
Yes.
What do you think about Brittany Griner's?
Yo, shot Brittany Griner.
Say her name right.
Correct.
I've been wondering why this shit is bothering me a little bit.
Okay. Can you explain what happened?
Well, Brittany Griner was arrested in Russia
because she brought a vape pen that I guess had cannabis oil in it.
Now, was she arrested for that or was she arrested
because Russia used her as a political pawn?
Because they were about to invade Ukraine.
Yeah, I think we know why.
Yes. Okay, I imagine that she I think we know why. Yes.
Okay.
I imagine that she's, you know, snuck, yes, it's illegal, but I imagine she snuck this
vape pen in many times before.
She goes there, she plays, I think, over the summers.
I forget what other WMEA season, but like a lot of female basketball players, they go
to Russia and they play on these Russian teams.
And these oligarchs in Russia prop up these female basketball teams in Russia.
It doesn't matter.
Whatever.
So she gets arrested.
She's there for months, I think.
And what the U.S. and Russia do is a prisoner swap
for basically, Brittany Griner for the Lord of War.
The Lord of War, you've seen Nicolas Cage's movie.
The Merchant of Death.
The Lord of War was the movie.
He's known as the Merchant of Death.
And this is a guy who's basically sold weapons
around the world, you know, destabilized
tons of fucking African countries.
Now, I'm not acting like we're fucking honest in this
and we're scot-free in this.
I imagine we've probably, we being the United States of America,
have also courted this guy and used his specific skill set
to help us in certain situations.
So I don't know if we're, like, the best.
That being said, we definitely arrested him for some reason,
and we have him locked up.
So we trade him for Griner, and people are upset.
They're like, that doesn't really seem like a fair trade.
I think this is the reason why it's a little bit bothersome.
They've also put in this other American who was being held there for months.
There was a guy who has held them on charges of espionage.
It was an ex-Marine.
I don't know if you ever asked, but it was Paul Whalen? I don't know. And so the question everybody's asking is,
why are you trying to get Brittany Griner out,
who knowingly broke the law,
when you should be trying to get this American,
alleged American spy, he just says he's just an American there,
who was doing his duty for country?
Now, I don't know what the rules are with spies,
when they get caught, what you do with them, I don't know, et cetera.
But I think the issue with
me is, it seems like
they're, they made
the trade for only Britney
for political
points. It seems like
it's a little bit of like a
a little bit of like
a virtue signal, if you will. Trying to get
favor with voters. That's what it seems
like. Yeah. And, you know, there's a Democratic president.
Who are the constituents that he's going to support?
He's going to support gay, minority women.
And it's like, oh, I check off three boxes.
Let me get that person back.
Who does he not have to care as much about?
White, male, Marine, who would probably be voting conservative anyway.
So I think there's a little part of me, and I need to know more about the story,
but I don't like the idea that we're going to trade this merchant of death,
a guy who's responsible for probably tens of thousands of deaths
and destabilization around the world, which we're also responsible for.
I'm not saying we're innocent.
But it doesn't exactly feel like a fair trade.
And if you're doing it just to get like a
PC pat on the back, it feels a little gross, right? When that same administration could be
letting out all the weed offenders, the nonviolent drug offenders that are in prison right now in the
United States. It could be letting every single one of them out right now. And it seems to be
perfectly okay with them to continue to be in jail. In some fairness, I do think they're trying
to work on that. I do think.
But I agree with you.
But what's to work on?
You could just do it.
Ain't no work.
Isn't it a states' rights thing?
Yeah, you can't just flip a switch and just let out everyone.
You could do it federally.
You can't do it statewide.
But you could put every single person who has been convicted of a federal crime
that has to do with drugs that are nonviolent, at bare minimum, just weed.
Yeah.
You could immediately remove them from federal prison right now. At bare minimum, just weed. Yeah. You could immediately
remove them from federal prison
right now.
Yes or no, right?
Yes.
And he did pass something,
but it was a very small thing.
It was like a non-violent,
but also like,
I forgot the word.
We talked about all the idiots.
I forget exactly what it was.
But it wasn't exactly it.
Can he do that on his own
or does he need the Senate
and the House?
No, he can do it on his own.
He can do it.
Yeah, that's valid then. It just really, it it's tough because like if you have a major drug dealer
their cases usually aren't just oh i just traffic drugs you know so it's like getting al capone for
tax evasion it's like you're really getting them for this other shit but the only thing you could
get them for is a tax evasion so i feel that so it's like if you just do this blanket thing of
like oh just non-violent weed shit it's like ah you just do this blanket thing of like, oh, just nonviolent weed shit.
It's like, ah, this motherfucker, we know he killed a bunch of people, but we can't charge him on that.
Exactly.
And now you just let all these people out.
Or he called for the murders of him, which is totally understandable as well.
I like everything.
It's tough.
These things are way more nuanced.
Yeah.
I just want to give a little pushback.
I don't, I think it's a combination of both.
I do think it's political.
I also do think they cave to the pressure.
Like, did any of us know Waylon was locked up in Russia?
No.
So nobody's tweeting, nobody's commenting,
but when Britney got locked up, everybody's tweeting,
everybody's saying something.
He felt the pressure.
Every conservative that's upset about it,
why weren't you talking about him the way that
everybody else is talking about Brittany Griner?
Now, granted, Brittany Griner is a more
famous person than him, sure, but make him famous.
You have platforms, you've got blogs, you've got Twitter.
Every politician that's
complaining that Brittany was taken out
and said to him, I need to look at your tweets
and see if you once tweet about that motherfucker.
Show some receipts. Or are you using
are you using Waylon as a way to score points against the Democrats?
Yeah.
Now you're using this motherfucker who's in jail, this so-called hero.
You're using a hero.
Yes.
So that's foul, too.
But if you were one of those people that have been trying to get him out for years and to know, or I guess he's been locked up for a little while.
I think it's like close to 10 years.
He's been there?
I think so.
Oh, I thought that I think it was a six-year sentence or something. I'm not while. I think it's like close to 10 years. He's been there? I think so. Oh, I thought that I think
it was a six-year sentence
or something.
I'm not sure.
I'll check.
But like,
I totally understand
your frustration
if you've just been clamoring
about this nonstop
and then to no avail.
But the fact that none of us
have heard about him,
I don't think too many people
were aware.
My issue wasn't with
Paul Whalen as much
because to me it's like,
all right, they got a spy,
we got a spy,
or not a spy,
but like a criminal. To me, the issue is we're much because to me it's like, all right, they got a spy, we got a spy. Or not a spy, but like a criminal.
To me, the issue is we're letting out this guy who's like incredibly dangerous just based on his history.
And if you want to just talk about like from a racial standpoint, this guy is responsible for the death of, I don't know, hundreds of thousands of black kids in Africa.
Oh, yeah.
No, literally what he did, he would arm the child soldiers.
Oh, yeah.
No, literally what he did, he would arm the child soldiers.
Guys, okay, now this is not going to be a politically correct answer, but he was a businessman.
People are asking, hey, I want guns.
He's not the ones putting the guns in the kids' hands.
He's making the deal with the guy who's putting the guns in the kids' hands. would step back because it's what they were doing is arming these militias in an effort to destabilize regions that had resources that they want to make easier to extract yeah but he just
cared about the money at the end of the day that's why he got caught because he made a deal that
sounded like a really good deal with a dea agent just for the money he didn't give a fuck who he
was selling to no i'm not saying that his interest was hurting them, but he knew that they were being hurt.
Yeah, but he's just a businessman who doesn't care.
I think he owned the shipping companies, too.
You bet.
McDonald's kills or gives people high blood pressure
and kills people.
They don't give a fuck.
They're selling this 20-year burger.
I do think there's, I think you're drawing a parallel
on something.
There's like degrees of it, right?
Everything has shades.
So there's a shade of, hey, we push products sometimes
on here that aren't necessarily good for your health.
That's different than going to kids and saying,
hey, here's guns.
If you're not happy,
you're not really smart enough
to know how to handle anything,
but here's guns.
Let's go cause some turbulence
and then we'll benefit.
And the U.S. does this.
So we don't not have blood on our hands.
But this guy's a problem globally and to the U.S.
So you're not getting him.
And if he was doing that maybe earlier in his career,
I mean, they found him originally to get him
out of, they had to get him out of Russia. They caught him
in Thailand. Like, you don't think
for many years of that, Russia
had a dealing in how he was actually
moving. Oh, yeah. I'm not trying
to catapult. But what I'm saying is not just a businessman.
He was an equal opportunity. He was
definitely taking a side at some point.
If we're playing chess with Russia, which we always are.
We bought guns from him.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure.
We hired him.
No, no.
We hired one of his companies that was like a shell company, and we found out after that.
Two of his shell companies, America bought guns from to help our interests abroad.
I don't think any of us is going to say America has no
blood on their hands. We have plenty. Plenty.
But, again,
if we're playing chess geopolitically, which I think we
always are, and Russia's one of our main opponents
for lack of a better word, you can't give this
guy up. It's just like, you got
fleeced in a trade, and maybe that's why it bothers me
as an Indian, because I don't like you losing a negotiation,
but you got fucking, you got
washed in this negotiation.
I guess maybe that's it.
It's like washed for what?
Are we becoming a victim of our own virtue signal?
Do we need to prove so much that we care about certain marginalized groups that we're willing
to put our entire country at risk?
Like that's a risk. Yeah. Like, that's a concern.
Yeah.
Are we trying to show
what good people we are so much
that we're forgetting
the risks that that causes?
And this guy,
who knows what he's going to do?
It's not like he's just going to retire
and go to fucking Yekaterinburg
and get a nice little villa.
Not everybody knows who he is now.
So it's like it's easier
to track him and what he's doing.
Potentially, but Russia's also going to protect him
like they were protecting him before.
That's why it was so hard to get him.
Yeah, I don't think there's any, like,
independent contractors in Russia.
I think it all goes back to the top.
The other side of things is, like,
weren't we looking mad pussy
that Britney was locked up for some bullshit
and locked up for nine months,
and we knew that, like, yo,
that penalty was way harsher than the crime.
We were looking a little pussy.
What are we supposed to do?
I know. It's a tough situation. That's why this is a big deal.
What are we supposed to do?
It's like, are we supposed to go to war because Britney Greiner took drugs to a foreign country?
Not go to war.
But we should try to get her out.
Do we have other prisoners? I think we gave get her out. Do we have other prisoners?
I think we gave up too much.
Do we have other leverage points
with Russia?
I don't know.
There's no way we only have one prisoner.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
They wanted,
they're not stupid.
They wanted the most known prisoner.
They want to be able to say,
yo, Nicholas Cage
is out of prison for Brittany Grant.
But why didn't we just give them
Nicholas Cage?
That would have been so much easier.
Don't suggest that.
That would have been so much easier.
Mark, don't suggest that.
He's a treasure. We should have. But we could. Don't suggest that. That would have been so much easier. Mark, don't suggest that. He's a treasure.
We should have.
Okay.
But we could just
swap them.
No, it's,
yeah, that shit is tricky.
I think they wanted to
embarrass America.
And that's what they did.
So what makes you
look more pussy
than not getting
Brittany Griner home
is giving up
the merchant of death
who has caused
way more problems
for you and globally
for Brittany Grine.
And have you seen the PR thing that this guy's on?
I saw a little bit of something on Grand Wizard's page.
But he's going through all these different, like...
He's doing a podcast run?
Yeah, he's doing a podcast run.
He's dropping a special.
It's crazy.
But he's saying all this stuff.
It's like, America's lost their Christian values.
And it's like, he's trying to drive the wedge.
It's really interesting.
They're not dumb over there. Like, now he's a political tool. And he's like, he's trying to drive the wedge. It's really interesting. They're not dumb over there.
Like, now he's a political tool.
And he's like, you know, the people in the middle of the country, they're totally fine.
And I got along with them fine.
And they were curious about Russia.
And they were interested.
But the people in the cities on the coast, you know, they're the ones that are so, they're buying all the propaganda about Russia.
And it's like, huh, maybe those Facebook ads, you know what I mean?
Like, maybe Russia was really huh, maybe those Facebook ads, you know what I mean? Like, maybe Russia
was really doing some of them
Facebook ads, like driving that division
so we're fighting each other here at
home instead of actually focusing on them.
Yeah, it's... There's a
60 Minutes piece that I think F.A. sent.
It's from, like, 2012, and they
did a little thing about how they locked him up
in the sting operation. And you see this guy in jail.
He's at, like, a table. He's got his fucking arms up, legs crossed in the sting operation. And you see this guy in jail. He's at like a table.
He's got his fucking arms up, legs crossed in shorts and boots.
And I'm like, yo, this is the baddest motherfucker.
Just how little he cares about being in jail and how comfortable he looks.
I'm not letting that guy out ever.
I'm not letting you out ever.
You're not even remotely affected being in prison.
You're just like, eh, you let that guy out?
That's a problem.
That's a bad motherfucker.
I'm sure he saw the camera.
He's like,
I know mama look good for me.
Sure,
sure.
I still wouldn't be able
to act that well.
You know what I mean?
Guy looks fine.
No bruises,
no nothing.
They can't touch this guy
up in prison.
Yeah.
Yeah,
I don't know.
He shaved Britney's head.
It's a tough situation.
I just wish we could've
negotiated better
to like get multiple people.
Yeah.
Or to trade for a lesser.
First round draft picks.
Yeah. You know what I mean?... First round draft picks. Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Something.
Miles brought this up before.
We had traded with Russia
for a Russian pilot
and a drug smuggler.
April.
Yeah, there was a journalist
that was there,
an American journalist
who got captured in Russia.
No, he's ex-Marine.
Oh, he's ex-Marine?
Yeah.
And so, yeah, he's over there
and then there's a Russian pilot
that got captured in the US
for drug smuggling.
And they traded in April.
Dang.
That was a better trade for us.
That's my point. That's what I'm saying.
I have a feeling we're going to get that
Paul Whalen guy back. They just
wanted this to be a
trade that made us look stupid.
And cause more infighting, to your earlier point.
They want the worst guy who had a movie made after
him to be traded for the girl
that, I don't know,
hates America, plays basketball,
and quote-unquote hates America.
Like, that's a fucking incredible trade.
That's how you kind of embarrass, I guess, America.
Now, what Russia doesn't realize is
we don't give a fuck about anything
for more than three days.
So, like, we, Russia's thinking,
oh, we got him,
there's going to be a real thorn in their side.
Brittany Griner, well,
nobody will care about in three days
unless she dunks or does something in a basketball
game, and then we'll just go and be like, see how boring
basketball is when women play?
We'll just go right back to normal of not giving
a fuck about the WNBA. The WNBA
had their time to shine. We'll go right back
and not give a fuck. The person I feel bad about
is Paul Whalen
because for a few weeks, it felt like
the whole United States of America
really was willing to do anything to get them back.
And he might have got his hopes up.
He might be talking to his family back home,
like, oh, they're trying to do it.
It looks like it might be it.
They're going to get you and Britney.
And now they get Britney,
and it's like, sayonara, see you later.
You're going to be in this fucking jail
for the next six years.
I mean, like, I'm not saying I don't feel bad for him,
but at the same time, he had four passports. He was, I think, like... I'm not saying I don't feel bad for him, but at the same time, he had four passports.
He was, I think, like—
He's a spy!
Yeah, like, pushed out of the fucking military.
Like, hey, you know the risk of what you're doing.
Was he pushed out of the military?
Yeah, I think it was like—
Or is that the story?
Oh, that's what—
Well, we can only go by what we see on paper.
My point is that if I'm a spy, if I'm going to be a good spy in another country,
you can't look at my record and be like, four-star general.
Incredible loyalty to the United States of America.
But that's the risk of being a spy, though.
But the risk of going to play in Russia at that time was also, hey, you're going.
It wasn't high?
No, when they locked her up, this was way before the war started.
There was tensions. It was like three or No, when they locked her up, this was way before the war started. Like, there was tensions.
It was like three or four weeks.
The war started years ago.
Bro, they've been playing there for years with no problem.
No, I'm pretty sure it was.
She's been playing there for years.
Sorry, Miles, can you just check the timeline?
I think it was like fairly shortly, but like pretty short, like quickly before the war.
Listen, listen.
We didn't know it was going to happen before they locked her up.
But first of all, we don't know what we knew.
They knew that they were going to do it no matter what.
Russia did. Exactly. But first of all, we don't know what we knew. They knew that they were going to do it no matter what. Russia did.
Exactly.
But not America.
But I have a feeling
if Russia is going to plan a war,
we're going to know
that there might be
a war happening.
Like, that Paul Whelan guy
ain't the only spy in Russia.
Just like we got
Russian spies here right now.
There's some fucking Russian
assigned to this podcast.
Cuck.
You know what I mean?
But there is.
Like, we're an influential fucking podcast. Maybe he's a cool guy. How do we know he's a cuck? He's a cuck. Howuck. You know what I mean? But there is. Like, we're an influential
fucking podcast.
Maybe he's a cool guy.
How do we know he's a cuck?
He's a cuck.
How could he not be a cuck?
Cuck.
What if we bring him over
to our side?
What if he's listening?
Should we double agent him?
What if he's listening
and he's like,
man, these guys are kind of cool.
Yeah, what's up?
They're good guys.
Oh, fuck.
I just gave him a long sign.
Yeah, we just pull him over
to the asshole army.
Come on.
The real army. Yeah. That, he's probably a patron. Do we have, we just pull him over. To the asshole army, bro. The real army.
He's probably a patron.
Do we have...
We have to have at least one Russian spy that listens.
At least.
There's probably many spies.
I think there's a lot of spies that listen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How are you spying this room?
I know we have a few Chinese spies.
You think so?
Yeah.
How do you know?
Because we gang gang.
Oh, shit.
Wait a minute.
And there has to be spies that listen just because they need someone to listen to.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, there are spies that have nothing to do with America, but they are spies.
Like, right now, there's a spy listening to this, and, like, he's a little bit concerned.
You know?
What the fuck?
They're talking about me.
Like, he could be in Istanbul.
What if you are?
Like, there's a spy right now?
That's like, how do they know I'm in Istanbul?
Dude, there's some Japanese dude just harikaring himself because we found out that he's a spy,
but we have no clue that you're actually a spy.
We don't know that any spies listen.
We do know.
You know what I mean?
If Miles isn't on my fucking single for everything that I just did, I swear to God.
You know what I'm saying?
He won.
Making sure.
That was a great wink.
All I'm trying to say is we have spies that listen to this podcast.
Yep.
We might have warlords that listen to this podcast.
Whoa, Coney?
You think Coney's listening to this? I don't know what Coney's up to,
but they're guaranteed
there's at least one warlord.
Yeah, yeah. What do you think warlords
do when they wake up in the morning and have a cup of...
Nah, they don't want to hear us. They want to hear
people that motivate them to kill and do
bad shit. Maybe they kill so much they just want to chill
and hang out. How could you...
When he's hanging out the phone, fucking yelling.
No, I think that they also want to chill and hang out. How could you? When he's hanging out the phone, fucking yelling. Yeah.
Unstoppable.
No, I think that they also want to break from war.
Yeah.
You don't think they'd come back?
No.
Kick their feet up?
Yeah.
A little bloody blood on their shoes just listening to some pod?
No.
You don't think that that's possible?
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
Impossible.
Impossible.
Now I feel like you know a fucking warlord.
Yeah, you know a warlord.
Why are you pushing back so much?
Y'all too hot on the trail right now, bro.
I'm like, come on, bro.
I'm protecting my guy.
Tell us the fucking warlord
that listens to the goddamn pot.
Did you get them pants from the Taliban?
Tell us the Taliban.
I'm going to be good in Morocco.
I'm just letting y'all know.
I'm going to be so good.
I'll be so good in Morocco.
I don't know if you're going to be good in Morocco, man.
Not after this.
Are you Taliban?
Nah, of course not.
Be honest, bro.
Of course not.
Al might be the spy, yo.
Al might be the spy.
Al's got a spy identity.
Al would be the worst fucking spy.
Because spies are supposed to be like four country.
And Al would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I'm for me.
But I'm also for like.
Al would be the best double agent ever.
Yeah, but to himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be perfect. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm also... I would be the best double agent ever. But to himself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It'd be perfect.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
He's got it.
Gang, gang.
Wow.
Gang, gang.
Al, you would be an absolutely horrible spy.
Or the best.
I don't know.
I think you would be a worse spy, I'll be honest.
Yeah, you can't hold a secret ever.
By a mile.
I'm not going to hold secrets.
That's the whole point of being a spy. I'm not going to going to hold secrets. That's the whole point of being a spy.
I'm not going to hold secrets about it.
That's the whole point of being a spy.
Nah, bro.
It's about exchanging secrets.
As long as I can tell someone, you just need to give me someone I can gossip to immediately.
Yeah, the podcast.
Exactly.
Yeah, no.
If I don't have the podcast, you got to give me someone I can call back home and I can tell you the cool shit.
I learned, yo, yo, yo, Pooey got cancer.
But someone's got to tap your phone.
First mistake, he's on the phone.
Exactly.
That's my point. Someone's got to tap your line. First mistake, he's on the phone. That's my point.
Someone's going to tap your line.
Come on.
He knows how to use other technology.
I'll do this one right here.
Oh, I got a picture.
Got a little New York Times article.
Don't want it.
Whatever, I don't know how to get it.
That's my point.
I think you'd be a bad spy, dude.
No, no, no.
Think about it.
The government's thought about contracting you, for the record.
I want you to know that.
Maybe.
It's the perfect cover.
You got emails? You got an email? I didn for the record. I want you to know that. I mean, it's the perfect cover. You got emailed?
Can we?
You got an email?
I didn't get emailed.
I didn't get an email directly.
You got a phone call about me?
It was a WhatsApp.
The CIA mostly does WhatsApp.
Hold on.
You told me.
Oh, hey, Sabi.
Hi, baby.
Hi, baby.
What's going on, Sabi?
Okay, for people listening, a dog just walked in.
Hi, baby.
We're talking about Andrew being a secret agent.
Don't you think I would be a good spy?
Here, talk on that mic right there.
And then you can remain your anonymity.
Okay, don't you think I would be a good spy?
As long as I could gossip to one specific person or the country.
As long as I had someone to tell the secret to.
Maybe his wife.
Gossip to the whole country.
No, no.
Yeah, exactly. That's what he would do. He would gossip to the whole country. No, no. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
That's what he would do.
He would gossip to the whole country.
I just need to share cool information with people.
That's all I'm saying, right?
So if I could tell you, if I could tell my guy at the CIA,
as long as there was somebody that I could say,
hey, I found this cool thing out, there's going to be a war in Ukraine.
Well, that's what a spy does eventually, right?
I think you tell everyone everything.
Not if I have one thing. All at once. All right, I think you tell everyone everything. Not if I run everywhere all at once.
All right, I'm going to
tell them some cool shit
I learned at this
cool fashion.
Exactly, exactly.
I'm going to be like,
you know why dates
are so popular or whatever?
You know what I mean?
Like, I'll exchange
cool, fun information,
but I'm not going to be,
I'm not going to just blabber.
I'm not a blabbermouth.
I have to
to afford this lifestyle do you know
what i mean but if listen if i could if what does the spy get paid probably thousands about the same
as you make now ain't no way bro do you think they pay spots i'm kidding no i guess i'm saying
you're not willing to take that pay cut in an exchange out of bitterness you're just gonna
gossip everything.
All right, maybe I won't be the best spy in the entire world.
Salary of a CIA spy ranges from $21,000 to $500,000.
Who the fuck is making $21,000?
So if you can't turn a $21,000 spy, bro, if you can't make that $21,000 spy a double agent, that's fucking sad, bro.
There's no security clearance for $21,000.
He's part-time.
Yeah, he might be part-time.
Like picking up shifts
on the weekend.
Like, hey, I can't spy this.
Can you go to the top?
You just hate Thursday.
Did he spy you?
All right, all right.
I'll get over there.
He's spy 1099.
He's 1099 spy right there.
But yeah, bro.
I'm not going to spy.
But you,
this is the perfect front, right? Comedian travels around the world doing shows, but also listening in. Oh, bro. I'm not going to spy. But you, this is the perfect front, right?
Comedian, travels around the world,
doing shows,
but also listening in.
Oh, yeah.
As long as it's international.
I thought that about him.
Me?
Yeah.
I'm not a spy.
French, Canadian,
all this extra shit.
Nah.
A little gay.
Like, it's...
I don't have enough allegiance.
You remember when Al
wanted to be in the CIA?
Do you remember that?
Nah, it was Secret Service.
Secret Service?
And then Trump ran,
and I was like,
I'm good. Damn. That was the reason? No, it was Secret Service. Secret Service? And then Trump ran and I was like, I'm good.
That was the reason? No, you fucked it up.
Why? I know, it was in LA. We were going to All-Star Weekend
and y'all were smoking weed
and then I was like, nah, I can't. I'm
trying to be in Secret Service. And Andrew's like,
you sure? And he's like, alright, give me the weed.
I fucked it up.
I fucked it up.
I just offered you a good time.
Son, don't do that.
If somebody's trying to do something with their life.
You need to have more discipline, bro.
You would be horrible Secret Service.
Oh, I would be horrible.
Yo, shoot that nigga.
There's no way.
There's no way you're jumping in front of the boss.
There's no way.
They would have weeded your ass out.
A million percent.
They would have weeded your ass out.
Like Barack, I would try to push him away,
but everybody else, nah.
You're not doing that. Nah, you got him. You're not saving Barack. I'll push him. I ain't going to take the bullet. You're not out. Like Barack, I would try to push him away, but everybody else, nah. No, you're not doing that.
Nah, you got him.
You're not saving Barack.
I'll push him.
I ain't going to take the bullet.
You're not going to save Barack.
I'll try to push him.
I would wear a different outfit from everyone.
Yeah.
They'd be like, why are you wearing Jordans with a suit?
You try to push him into the bullet.
You'd be like, get over there.
You take it.
Dude, I tried.
Yeah.
Nah, we're a secret service of all time.
Okay.
Any last thoughts about Brittany Griner, the whole deal?
I don't know.
Nothing really else.
I mean, it just does feel
a little bit of an unfair trade,
but maybe I wasn't motivated
as much by what Brittany did
for basketball,
for female basketball.
Because there are certain
NBA players where I'm like,
like if Steph Curry
was locked up in Russia,
trade it up.
Merchant of death, whatever.
Change the game.
You can't shoot like Steph.
Yeah.
I look at that Victor Bout guy right in his face.
You cannot shoot like Steph.
Steph, I trade for a merchant of war.
So I think I just wasn't influenced enough by Brittany Griner.
Who do you think wins one-on-one, Victor Bout or Brittany Griner?
Scissoring competition?
No, no.
Basketball?
Versus seven?
I think Victor.
Still at 55? Probably.
Nah. He's locked away for a while.
No way. All you do is play basketball
when you're locked up. What do you think he's been doing?
He's so tall.
He's playing bully ball too.
He's playing bully ball, that jail ball shit.
Oh, he's bodying him. There's no way.
Also, do you see the way
Britney was walking
at when she was going
to the like
at the prison
how crazy is the trade
the trade was crazy
did you see it
no
bro
oh yeah yeah
but also you gotta look
at Britney's walk
bro the actual like
video of them trading
I didn't think it was
gonna be like that
I thought it was gonna be
like more professional
no that shit's like
the movies
bro
and they gotta go
to neutral territory
where did they do it cause I saw a motherfucker dressed like me kinda right now there was a guy I thought it was going to be more professional. No, that shit's like the movies. Bro. And they got to go to neutral territory.
Where did they do it?
Because I saw a motherfucker dressed like me kind of right now.
There was a guy with the white. Yeah, I think it was the UAE, somewhere in the Middle East.
But yeah, they just pulled up, swapped them.
I couldn't believe it.
It blew my mind that that's how they do it.
Yeah.
Anyway, hold on one second.
All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second.
Now, listen, you know I love geology for their easy-to-use skin care,
and now they have expanded and taken over your bathroom.
Geology has launched a slew of brand-new products,
not only geology, the best in the skin care game, okay?
But they also released a ton of new amazing hair, body, and other skin products,
whatever you need, geology has you covered, okay? From their affordable skin revitalizing serum
to their shampoo killing co-wash
to their brand new super clean body wash and deodorant,
which honestly have some of the best scents ever, okay?
They take care of all your bathroom needs.
And right now for a limited time,
they are hooking you up
with an absolutely insane offer right now.
If you go to geology.com and use the promo code FLAGRANT,
they will give you an additional 70% off their award-winning skincare trial set.
This discount stacks on top of their current sales prices.
And that's not all, okay?
They're also giving you an additional bonus offer on the brand-new Super Clean Body Wash when you add it to your trial.
This is one of the best offers that you're ever going to see at geology.com. Make sure you use that promo code flagrant. Get it before it's gone, okay? I'm telling you, this is the one.
And also, if you're worried about your skin, this is an absolute no-brainer. You take a 30-second
diagnostic quiz. They're going to formulate a regimen that benefits your skin's needs the most.
Think about that. It's not just one size fits all. It's your size fits you. Geology's got your back.
Geology.com, promo code flagrant. Now let's get back to it. Look, whether it's work or it's school
or it's other activities, your schedule is getting busier, all right? But that's okay,
because Freshly's here to help you begin that new routine better, okay?
Save yourself the time and effort.
Let Freshly take care of your weekly meal prep with satisfying dishes delivered straight to your door.
Get started today, and you'll get $140 off your first five orders.
That's over a month of nutritiously portioned meals, all without the shopping, prep, and cooking or cleanup.
I mean, think about it.
You get that protein-packed chicken parm,
you are good to go.
Absolutely delicious.
Nutritious as well.
And it's prepared for you, delivered right to your door.
They have others as well.
You can choose from their signature collection
or try their many gluten-free, dairy-free,
plant-based options, as well as carb
and calorie conscious favorites. And now you can try Freshly for yourself and lock in huge savings
across your first five orders, okay? Revamp that routine of yours, okay? This fall, Freshly is
going to save you money. It's only for a limited time. So make sure you order today. You get $140 off your first five orders at Freshly.com slash flagrant.
That's Freshly.com slash flagrant for $140 off your first five orders.
Freshly.com slash flagrant for $140 off your first five orders.
Now let's get back to the show.
And we're back.
Mark, talk to me, man.
What else we got, bro?
Elon Musk went on stage with Dave Chappelle and the entire audience booed him.
Because they were in San Francisco.
Mm-hmm. Right? I believe so.
I think Dave joked around, like,
it seems like some people you fired are here.
That was funny. It was funny. Great line.
But legitimately, they
might be there. Yeah, that's true.
Like, where is Twitter's offices?
It says Silicon Valley, right? Probably, yeah.
I think they got a few offices, but yeah, I'm sure they must
have one over there. If not them, their homies were definitely in the crowd.
Yeah.
And also, if you go to one of these tech companies and you lay off 3,000 people, 4,000, 5,000 people,
and you got a bunch of tech motherfuckers that can afford to go to a Dave Chappelle show,
it's probably all tech dudes in there anyway.
So they're going to probably side with the people who work for a big tech company,
not the owner of the big tech company.
Did you see the video?
No.
It's interesting.
You want to watch a couple seconds?
Yeah. Cheers and boos, I'd say. Elon
Hey Dave
Just gets worse from there
But Dave rides for him
Dave like supports him
And he's like
Nah fuck the people booing
Like
I mean
Yeah
He brought him there
Yeah
Yeah
He can't bring them out to boo.
The people have spoken.
Yeah, that's true.
But he made a couple jokes at him at his expense, just goofing.
But then, yeah, he wrote for him the whole time.
Yeah.
I don't really get why.
What was the connect?
What was the link up?
Why would he want to bring him out?
Just because it's a cool dude that.
I think it's a fun flex.
And it's also, I'm sure, fun for Elon to like.
Listen, Elon either enjoys being liked
like every other human being on the planet
or understands the power of press,
like being in the ether.
You know, he did a great job of not ever
buying a fucking advertisement for Tesla and simply
just being the mascot for
Tesla himself. Saved so much money doing
that. So, the
tricky thing is it's hard to be
rich and
liked. It's even harder to be
rich, liked, and
famous.
Most truly wealthy people,
we don't even know their names. You know what I mean? Like, the Saudis all dress the same,, we don't even know their names.
You know what I mean?
The Saudis all dress the same, so you don't even really...
There's anonymity in it.
Is that what they do? 100%.
It's nothing to do with their culture.
How do I be a prince worth billions of dollars
and just walk around the mall like anybody else?
Yeah, hire 20 lookalikes that look just like you
and walk around the mall.
Everyone's wearing the same shirt.
Kind of genius.
We hear these like famous names.
The Rothschilds, you know, the Rockefellers.
Maybe the Rockefellers lost all their money. But like
you hear these famous iconic names
and you don't really
know who they are. Like who's the Rothschild that's
alive now? We knew one of them dated
fucking, what is that rapper who never puts out the album?
No. Exhibit C
was the song that was crazy. Oh, Jay
Electronic. Jay Electronic.
And that's the only reason why she popped up.
These people that are part of these legacy
families that are worth all this money, you don't know
about them because they've learned what
new rich people have not learned yet
because they're newly rich, is that with
wealth comes resentment, animosity
and hate, and it just makes it harder
to keep making that money.
So most people who have legacy money go, I don't want nobody to know how much money I got.
It is better to keep the money and not flex it than flex it and then risk the entire internet trying to cancel you.
I mean, look at Liver King.
I think the only reason Liver King is canceled right now is because he said he made $100 million. His company's made $100 million.
And that number popped up, and it was like, hold the fuck on.
I don't know if it was the only reason, but it contributed to it a lot.
Meaning, like, that was the, what is it, the tip of the iceberg.
Not even the tip of the iceberg.
It was like, that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
But there's something about money that breeds resentment.
If Liver King was out here, like, it's really hard for me to make a living.
This life is really difficult, but I really believe in it.
People would be annoyed and be like, ah, whatever.
I don't even care if he's on steroids or not, blah, blah, blah.
They might even be upset.
They'd be like, why are you putting your family through this?
Right.
A hundred million?
That's why one of the most impressive things Rogan has done
is no one really knows how much the deal is.
We're still speculating.
Yeah.
Everybody else, Alex Cooper, we know how much her deal is worth.
You know what I mean?
The guys that are a little familiar with it and then somehow manage to keep it on the
wraps, God bless them, dude.
You're smart.
The 100% is better to keep that shit.
Yeah.
It's better.
It's like, so I think maybe, and who knows, I'm sure Elon is, you know, aware of all this.
I'm sure he's studied all this.
I'm sure he's crunched all this fucking data.
He looks at all his friends that are incredibly wealthy, and I'm sure they go, listen, it's better. You're not
a fucking famous person. It just makes it easier to move around. He's probably calculated all this,
and he's like, I have so much more influence, and I can move markets if I am a famous person,
but I'm going to have all this scrutiny that I have to deal with. But my 12 kids won't have to.
But I don't know if it's purely data and number crunching. I think he also just likes the attention.
So there's the question.
Which I don't think is wrong, but I do think that is intrinsic to him.
We all want to be liked.
Yeah.
The question is, what happens when you're experiencing less like than hate?
And do you retreat? Do you retreat into the political party that's more
supportive of you? Is that what has happened? Is that why he went from this like apolitical
cultural figure to this, I'm going to be more right wing now and the left has left me?
And is he really just retreating back into his supporters because he wants to be liked?
Yeah.
Or is that genuinely how he feels and he just felt like it was time to make a political statement?
There's no question that he likes attention.
The question is can you weather the negative attention?
And that's hard.
Not everybody's built for that.
Especially when you haven't had that.
He's spent probably most of his life at this point in the public eye being really adored.
Like just with the rocket stuff, Tesla, like the PayPal shit.
He's going through it right now.
Yeah.
Like with the Twitter shit, he is going through it.
I don't think he's ever been hated this much.
And so I think that was a play for, hey, let me go up with a very popular guy and try to get back into people's good graces,
and it kind of backfired on me.
The irony is, I think I saw like 5 million views
or something crazy like that when you pulled it.
It's on Twitter.
It's a clip of him getting embarrassed.
He paid $43 billion to watch himself get embarrassed.
And it probably stings more, because I'm thinking,
even if it's San Francisco,
you're going on stage at a Dave Chappelle show,
you think the non-woke, anti-woke, whatever you want to call them, audience, is going to be there, and you're going on stage at a Dave Chappelle show you think the non-woke anti-woke
whatever you want to call them
audience
is going to be there
and they're going to support you
and when they boo you
that's got to be like
you
what is happening
that is a great fucking point
yeah
you would assume
that Chappelle's audience
at least Chappelle's audience
now
after all the
anti-PC shit
they don't like canceling
they don't like cancel culture
yada yada yada
you would think they're like
oh we support the guy who's also against those things and liberating this platform from those things for them to boo as well.
God damn.
That's just a rough feeling in general.
I don't like reading negative comments on YouTube and the idea of walking out in front of a stadium of however many people.
That was an arena, dog.
To your point, that wasn't like a comedy club.
Arena, dog.
To your point, that wasn't like a comedy club.
So even if they know people who worked at Twitter or whatever,
there's 20,000 people there.
How many of these motherfuckers knew somebody at Twitter, really?
We about to find out how autistic he is.
Because if this doesn't bother him, confirmed.
I think it does because he blamed it on anti-woke, left-wing, whatever.
And it's like, you know, that's not really true.
What do you mean?
Like, I think Elon said like, oh, the people booing me were just these like super left-wing anti-woke people.
And if you're Elon, you know, those guys aren't coming to Dave Chappelle's show and paying hundreds of dollars. The last show that they showed up to.
And also it wasn't a few people.
Yeah.
If there's 18,000 in there, you got a few thousand people that are hopping on.
Yeah, I wonder if he backs away from it.
We're going to find out what he wants more.
Does he want to be successful and wealthy, or does he want to be liked more?
And he might find out that it's very difficult to be both of those things.
Being unanimously liked and adored.
The only person that I can think of that was both wealthy and unanimously liked and adored. The only person that I can think of that was both wealthy and unanimously liked and adored was Dave Chappelle.
And now that's gone.
Now he's a polarizing figure.
But he was the last one that I can look at and be like, wow.
Here's a person that had strong opinions, but both sides were supportive.
They thought that he was absolutely hilarious.
They wanted to go see his shows.
And until the trans thing...
Yeah.
It's interesting.
Who else is it?
There's guys like...
Megastar.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kanye was somewhat kind of like that.
Tom Hanks?
Yeah, I mean, like...
Tom Hanks?
Keanu Reeves?
Yeah, the completely apolitical figures.
Yeah, but they don't...
They don't take a stand for that. That's what I'm saying. Because I was thinking Warren Buffett, but he don't come out... Yeah, the completely apolitical figures. Yeah, but they don't. They don't take a stand for that.
That's what I'm saying. Because I was thinking Warren Buffett,
but he don't come out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I drink Coke.
That's what I feel like. Kind of.
A little bullshit folklore you gotta throw out there so people like him.
Like, I sit on a bench and I drink a Coke.
You know the most annoying part of his day?
Is walking out of his Maybach and then
sitting on a stupid bench in Omaha
and then cracking a fucking Coke
and sipping it
so that they can take a picture of it
and post it to Instagram
so he can be like normal.
You don't believe the story at all?
Maybe he enjoyed it.
What about the McDonald's story?
Do you believe Patton Oswalt's story
when he got a picture taken of him
writing his fucking eulogy
or whatever it was
for taking a picture of Dave Chappelle?
Do you believe that was sincere and thoughtful?
Nah. Hey, I'm going to write this letter. If you could, just take a picture of Dave Chappelle. Do you believe that was sincere and thoughtful? Nah.
Hey, I'm going to write this letter.
If you could, just take a picture of it.
Is there a chance that he can actually enjoy that?
No.
What if he's just such a robot?
You enjoy simple things.
He can't break routine, maybe.
Maybe he's superstitious and he's like,
yo, these Cokes and McDonald's have made me billions of dollars.
I can't break this routine.
Like a guy who's got to wear his lucky socks on game day.
You see what we do with rich people?
You see what we do?
You wake up and look at the sun.
I just want you to be wrong.
Who does that?
You.
You wake up, you look at the sun.
Who does that?
Because Huberman told you.
You've been doing it, bro.
I haven't been doing it.
I can tell you've been doing it.
You've been saying you've been doing it.
No, I'm saying I'm missing the sun.
I need sun.
But I'm just saying, maybe that's just like a thing that he likes to do in his life.
Like, I can see there's a world where it's bullshit
and I can see a world
where it's like,
he actually may enjoy that.
What do you think is more likely?
Honestly, I'm going 50-50.
Nah, I don't...
He's an old-ass man.
Like, he...
What does he want?
Let me counter-question.
What's more fun to talk about
on the podcast?
Because I just realized I'm not fun with this guy.
As I stood there and walked you guys, I was like, I love that for even interjecting at all.
I'm not saying that he's bad for it.
What I'm saying is it's great mythology that you should bring up around you so that you're likable. If he's this old sweet teddy bear that drinks his Coke on a bench, you don't think of him as this absolutely maniacal investor that became the richest person in the world.
And those things don't work together.
Like, I'm sorry.
Like, you don't make a billion dollars just drinking Cokes on a bench.
You make a billion dollars going, how can I fucking extract as much wealth
from every other human being
that's on this planet?
How can I do it?
It's not like he's doing this
through donations.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like,
he's not giving people
access to heaven
and going,
eh,
give me a little bit
on the way in.
This is
take.
Berkshire Hathaway?
I'm gonna take.
His company,
Berkshire Hathaway, is a real estate take. His company, Berkshire Hathaway,
is a real estate company.
They're not like,
hey, what's the most altruistic way
to buy and sell property?
They're like, hey,
what can we buy that's in ruins
and flip it?
Who can we take advantage of?
Who can we exploit?
But do you think he's like
that hands-on with everything
going on at the company?
See how we love...
You think he became a billionaire
by being hands-off?
You think we're billionaires?
We're breaking your heart.
No, I just think...
You think he became a billionaire
by delegating?
No, I think he just hired the smartest,
like, ruthless people.
He's like,
oh, you're ruthless like me.
I'm going to hire you
to make the decisions
that I would make.
The ruthless person
would just take his fucking job
if he wasn't ruthless.
Nah, it's like he wants
to go sit with a Coke
on a bed.
He doesn't even believe
in his own bullshit.
You have a business, right?
You have to work really hard,
right? Like, you have to work really hard, right?
Like, you have to work really hard.
And you're flying back and forth every three days. Your business is successful, and you have to work really hard for that, right?
Yes.
Now, think about how much money your business is growing right now.
Think about how hard you have to work to do that.
Mm-hmm.
Now think about billions of dollars, right?
Mm-hmm.
You're about to prove my point.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Because I would love to hire somebody,
delegate and sit on a bench and drink.
I would love to do that.
But do you think that you could do that
and grow your business?
Oh, no.
They're not going to put as much in it
as I would put into it.
And you have to put this much in
to make the money you're making now,
which is good.
But it's not billions.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ain't no bench sitting, bro.
Nobody ever sat, drank Coke, and made billions.
Never once.
They sat in rooms with other people who are also psychopaths going, hey, do you think that those people who can barely afford to make any money, we could sell them trailer homes for, what is it called?
We can give them mortgages on trailer homes, and the mortgage rates can be like five times higher than the average mortgage rate
because they're at risk.
You think we could do that?
Sounds like a good idea.
These are crazy people.
We should do that.
We should.
That sounds like an awesome idea.
Here's the most brilliant thing
about Warren Buffett.
This is the most brilliant thing
about him.
Nobody knows what the fuck he does.
We know he drinks Cokes.
He loves McDonald's.
He loves McDonald's.
Just like we love Coke
and we love McDonald's
But we don't know
What he does
To fucking squeeze
Merchant of wealth dog
Merchant of wealth
We don't know
He even comes out
Every once in a while
And says
I should be paying more in taxes
Do it pussy
That's what you're waiting for
That's more insulting
Old bitch
Pay it
Ain't nobody stopping you
Nobody ever stopped you From paying money in fucking taxes.
That shit is patronizing, bro.
Yo, ain't it?
My secretary pays more.
Pay more, motherfucker.
Taxes are killing you every single year.
I should be paying more in taxes.
God damn, bro.
God damn.
Pay the money.
Why don't you pay other people's taxes for them?
Help me.
Help me.
You love doing charity. Pay other people's taxes. Pay your secretary's taxes. Pay our taxes. Pay Fl't you pay other people's taxes for them? Help me. Help me. You love doing charity.
Pay other people's taxes.
Pay your secretary's taxes.
Pay our taxes.
Pay Frank Flaygood's taxes.
How about that?
That's it.
There you go.
I mean, it's crazy.
That was his big mix-up.
He was trying to be goody two-shoes with that one.
That one, I almost...
You did not.
I almost looked for the bench.
You did.
I almost looked for the...
That's how I know he's not at the bench.
I went for it.
No, you did not.
I looked at every bench in Omaha.
Remember when we did that show in Omaha in a bar? Yeah. You think I was looked for the best. I know he's not the best. I went for it. No, you did not. I looked at every bench in Omaha. Remember when we did that show in Omaha in the bar?
You think I was there for that show?
You're a spy?
I was there for justice.
You were a spy.
You're a spy.
I ain't even spying.
You were spying, bro.
You were a spy, not you a spy.
I'm a.
Oh, the comic of death.
I'm a.
Nice, dude.
bleep that whole section.
Yeah.
You can keep enough in, but make sure you bleep that whole section.
I'm just saying, it is,
that is genius, the fact that we don't
know what he's done to make his money.
Son, he goes to the bench once a year, has somebody
take a picture, and then be like, I just saw Warren Buffett
at the bench. Nobody at that bench
every day checking on him. Hey, Bill Gates,
how's your PR doing? Ah, it's not good. They think
I'm vaccinating everybody. You want to take a
bench pick with me? Come on down, let's take a bench pick together, and the not good. They think I'm vaccinating everybody. You want to take a bench pick with me?
Come on down.
Let's take a bench pick together.
And the people will forget that we out here squeezing them dry.
I mean, right or wrong?
No, I'm not saying that they can't do it.
I'm not saying they can't do it.
But it is a good lesson to learn, which is if you're going to be worth tons of money,
one, don't let motherfuckers know how you make your goddamn money.
Yeah.
Because once they find out that it's some other shit, they're going to either be resentful, they're going to hate you, they're going to want to kill you.
And then two, make sure you have some sort of apparatus to continue to push those narratives.
Yeah.
You know, that's why you see all these billionaires got a fucking media company, right?
Bezos got the Washington Post.
What's-his-face got MSNBC, Bill Gates, Microsoft, NBC, right?
Like every single one of them.
Come on now.
Not the first time some billionaires got caught up in some trouble.
You seen this?
No, I've seen it.
This is wild.
Your boy, Billy Gates, walking in front of a hotel.
Whammy.
They pot our boy in the face!
They hit him with another one! Oh, they got two autos.
They came with the double up!
Oh, three autos! Yo!
He ended up not pressing charges because he believed them to just be like mischievous pranksters.
Because you can't press charges because you're a billionaire.
You got to do the good PR thing.
I'm just saying.
Pied in the face. I'm just saying.
Pied in the face,
it's just pie.
That was a pretty good prank.
It's hilarious,
to be honest.
You think he set it up for them to make them normal?
Of course.
We sit here feeling bad
for this billionaire.
The all-time billionaire hater, bro.
I don't because I know
he paid that motherfucker.
No, nobody felt bad for him.
He's so devious, they don't even know they got paid by him.
Oh, his shell company?
Yeah.
They got a red page.
Like, yo, let's pie up the gates.
And then they figured that shit out.
William Smollett over there?
That's it.
William Smollett.
100%.
Like that Antifa motherfucker.
They all getting paid by some billionaire, too.
Go throw some milkshakes on people.
Where you get the money for the milkshakes?
McDonald's. You know what I mean? You knowhakes on people. Where you get the money for the milkshakes? McDonald's.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
Who's really making the money?
That milkshake machine wasn't working at McDonald's.
They got that shit working.
What happened immediately afterwards?
Antifa?
I don't know.
That's it.
Okay, all right.
There we go.
That's it.
I hope one day you become a millionaire.
Yeah, I know.
I really do.
One day.
One day I'm going to touch a million.
I really hope you do.
One day.
One day. You think that people like me touch a million. I really hope you do. One day. One day.
You think that people like me as much as they do now?
You're going to listen back to this and be like,
I know, right?
I'm an idiot.
Let me tell you something, I'll be honest with you.
This podcast ain't happening if I got a billion dollars.
Let me tell you something right now.
I'm touching a billion dollars. We ain't doing this right now. I'm such a billion
dollars.
We ain't doing this
motherfucking podcast.
Come on, dude.
Three times a week?
It's the best hang.
The best hang.
Three times a week,
dude.
No, no, no.
Come on, bro.
You gotta look
normal, bro.
Now, if you're a
billionaire, you can't
be hanging out in
public, dude.
Nah, this is your
bench with the coke
right here.
I'm just hanging out
at McDonald's.
Can I tell you
something?
I'll be honest with
you.
If I make a billion
dollars, it's by accident.
I didn't want it.
I don't want it.
I don't want a billion dollars.
Putting that out there for the future.
He's like, oh, shit.
I'll be honest with you.
If I make a billion dollars, I don't want it.
I make a billion dollars.
Hey, Hollywood, don't give me roles.
I'm not a good actor.
I don't even know me.
This guy is good.
He's good.
Hey, guys, you got him with a podcast. He's doing a movie in Atlanta. Hey, give me roles. I'm not a good actor. I don't even know me. It's good. Hey guys, we got him with a podcast. We're doing a movie
in Atlanta. Hey, listen.
I'm trying to put y'all up on game.
This is the opposite of the secret.
You're the opposite of manifesto. Maybe that's the secret.
Maybe that's the secret.
Since you don't want the billion dollars, if you make a billion
dollars, you're giving us half. Let me tell you something.
If I make a billion dollars, you're going to give us half?
If I make a billion dollars, you're going to give us half? If I make a billion dollars. You're going to give us half?
I'm giving the people money.
Pay your taxes, bro.
Just do taxes.
They just get all the money.
Let me tell you.
If I touch a billion dollars, I did not mean to.
That means he's setting up charities and he's giving the money to his kids.
He's funding it like that.
A trust.
A trust.
You know what I mean?
So what about us here on the couch?
Don't end up here.
You got a successful business.
I don't know.
You got a successful business.
I thought you loved billionaires.
They don't give you nothing.
If my business make a billion dollars, I want it.
I tried to make it.
I tried to make it.
If I make a billion dollars, Al is going to be copping please from me.
Oh, yeah.
100%.
Oh, absolutely.
So it's just like taking vacations in a mall.
Just like one of the guys.
Bro, he still schedules date night in his schedule, bro.
I'm like, this guy's so normal, bro.
Yo, 100%, if I make a billion dollars, it's by accident.
Golden doodle.
It's by accident.
Come on.
Something went wrong.
You can't be a billionaire with a golden doodle.
I'm being honest.
If I make a billion dollars, something went wrong, Al.
Yep.
I left an investment somewhere that I didn't mean to, and then it made a billion.
You got gifted some crypto for your wedding or something?
Hey, you're welcome.
Real talk.
Hey, I didn't mean to.
I know me.
I don't need a billion dollars.
The only ethical billionaire, this guy.
I don't want it.
Hey, if there's any billionaires out there, don't give me no billion dollars.
No one's going to give you a billion dollars.
I don't want it. No one's going to give you a billion dollars. I don't want it.
No one's going to give you a billion dollars.
Hey, keep your money.
Keep your money, billionaires.
No one's trying to give it to you.
Keep your goddamn money.
I don't want your money.
He don't want it.
He don't want it.
I don't want that problem.
He don't want it.
I don't want that problem.
What problems?
Billionaire problems, bro.
Like what?
Son, a guy can't even enjoy a Coke on a bench, bro.
That's a good point.
He can't enjoy a Coke on a bench, bro. People's a good point. He can't enjoy a Coke on a bench.
People calling out your actions, every little thing you do.
Can't even walk on stage in front of 18,000 people to celebrate.
Crazy, bro.
Can't even walk on stage without no jokes, no stories, nothing, hoping 18,000 people
are going to applaud for you.
It's so rich.
Yes.
Exactly.
What the fuck else are you going to think?
We love our Richie A's.
What would they clap for?
What the fuck? The idea that he thought that they were is going to happen? We love how rich he is. What would they clap for? What the fuck?
Like, the idea that he thought that they were just going to clap without any entertainment.
He made rockets, bro.
He's going to Mars.
That's cool.
He's pushing the human race forward.
I got a Tesla.
I love that shit.
He built Tesla, electric cars.
He's saving the planet, Andrew.
He's supposed to.
That's true.
He did not do anything.
What do you mean?
He invented PayPal.
I'm saying in that moment.
In that moment, he didn't do nothing.
You walk on stage, everybody claps.
You haven't done anything in that moment.
You just got up there.
I've made them laugh before, so they think they're going to laugh again.
He invented Teslas before.
Hey, Matt.
He must have had some funny tweets.
No, that's a good-ass point.
He invented Teslas before, and then they walked out, and they're like, he's going to invent something.
Son,
but we not clapping for that.
We clap because
motherfucker invented
an electric car?
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
All right,
that's a good point.
I was going somewhere else
with it.
Figure out what you're
trying to do with this
goddamn hat, bro.
You've been fidgeting
with this shit for now.
That shit got hot, bro.
My head was getting hot,
but I didn't put any product in my hair,
so my hair looked too wispy today.
This is the struggles of being a multimillionaire.
Gotta get the pinky.
Gotta get the pinky, bro.
I'm just saying.
But don't try to fuck with me, that billion shit.
Uh-uh.
You got caught.
Don't mention it.
I make a billion dollars.
I'm gonna keep on giving away millions so I can keep being a billionaire.
Wait, what?
Let me try it one more time.
I make a billion dollars.
I'm going to keep on giving away a million so I can just be a regular millionaire.
Nice.
So every time I hit the billion, I'm giving a little away.
To us.
To some people, man.
But why not us?
You're already giving it away.
I'm going to give it.
You know what?
I'm going to give it to a trust.
Hey, that's a noble thing to do. I'm going to give it to a trust. Hey,
that's a noble thing to do.
I'm going to give it to a trust.
Who do you trust?
Who do you trust with your trust?
A trust in our name.
I'm going to give it to a,
I trust a trust.
I don't trust you.
But the trust is in our name.
Let me tell you something.
We're the beneficiary.
I make a billion dollars.
Yep.
I make you six feet.
Oh,
that's,
that is kind of,
that's priceless, bro. that's priceless. you six feet. Oh, that's- That is kind of- That's going to make him
happier than any amount of money.
Yeah, that's priceless.
Yep, yep.
Please, give it to him.
Turkish leg transplant.
That's going to be you.
Nah, nah, you can't take it back.
No, I'm not taking it back.
Why doesn't he just go,
yo, I'm working on this new thing
to make people six feet if they want?
He needs to put a couple
things of hope out there
so people aren't willing to criticize
him.
He thought he was doing that with traffic in LA.
He's like, yo, we got traffic in LA
taken care of. Don't worry about it.
I loved that tweet. I loved it.
So everyone in LA is like, okay, okay.
Chill out. We good. Whatever.
Still waiting. Boom. Still waiting. Boom.
Still waiting.
What is the thing that he could do for all human beings?
Like, if he was like, yo, we got this thing.
It's not.
I'm trying to think.
Y'all make a dick bigger.
Mmm.
Bruh.
And trans people would love that, too.
So you get people on the left, also.
Oh, shit.
Trans people would be like, finally, I would love a dick.
He would be the great unifier, finally.
Everyone gets a dick.
Free dicks.
Look under your chair.
I'm Oprah for dicks.
There's dicks everywhere. Yo, that's wild. If you're trans, you want a dick, Everyone gets a dick. Free dicks. Look under your chair. I'm Oprah for dicks. There's dicks everywhere.
If you're trans, you want a dick, you got a dick.
If you're a guy, you want a bigger dick, you got a bigger dick.
Yo, just cut that.
Everyone wants that, bro.
Everyone wants that.
Yo, is there a limit to how big these trans dicks could be?
Because I don't think it's fair.
You can't just come in a game late packing.
You got to spin the wheel like all of us, bro.
Yo, you know how Oscar Pistorius, his blades could only be so long?
Because it actually gives you an unfair advantage.
Yeah, they got to take your height.
Dicks.
Dicks can only be so long.
They have to look at something.
Your blade can only be so long.
Body index or some shit.
A million percent.
They have to calculate how big your dick would have been.
And color.
You can't just get a black dick.
Nah, you should be able to do that.
Nope.
Why not?
Tattoos.
Yeah.
Boy, that's not being black.
Getting a tattoo is just ink.
Just ink that shit.
Yeah, but you should have to go through the pain.
But yeah, once the dick is yours, you should be able to do whatever you want with it.
You could dye a different color.
You should be able to.
You can't dye your dick.
You can dye your dick 100%.
You could dye your dick.
No, you can't.
Yeah, yeah.
You haven't seen these Indians with their hennas and shit?
I don't think that's not true.
Isn't that a fucking thing you do on your wedding day?
You dip your dick in henna?
That's how they apply the henna to everyone else.
You dip your dick in it and then you put it on.
Mainly for the women.
You know that, right?
Say again?
That's mainly for the women.
But how do they apply it to the woman's hands?
The artist dips his dick in some henna.
Oh, do they do it with dick?
Is that how you apply henna?
Yes.
No, no, no.
I got some pencil dick ass niggas over there, bro.
My only reference is me.
You might not be wrong.
What are we talking about?
That's crazy.
Pencils are long, though.
It's not bad.
You know what I mean?
Hey, pencils are effective.
Yeah.
And you trust them. So studious. So stud though. It's not bad. You know what I mean? Hey, pencils are effective. Yeah. And you trust them.
So studious.
So studious.
That's true.
Extremely studious.
You need to get a job done.
You're not grabbing like a Sharpie or nothing.
Nuh-uh.
Nope.
Nothing permanent.
Nobody wants that permanent marker you working with.
Yeah, yo.
You got a permanent marker, bro.
Yeah.
Pencil thing is nice.
You make a mistake, you can erase it.
Bang.
You have any mistakes?
You know what I mean?
I mean, I erased it.
He made it.
Turns out you can race sharks, too.
I had that dryer right there.
You're the whiteboard partner.
All right, listen.
Bring it on, bro.
Shout out to Elon, though.
We love you, and we do want you on the podcast.
Elon's a go.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second,
because today's episode is brought to you
by PayPal Honey.
Okay, it's the easy way
to save when shopping
on your iPhone or computer.
Listen,
holiday shopping
absolutely blows.
We all know this.
You pay too much money
for everything.
You never have a coupon code.
And by the time
you finally find one,
the thing you wanted to buy
is sold out.
But now,
thanks to Honey,
manually searching for
coupon codes is a thing of the past. Honey is a free shopping tool that scours the internet
for promo codes and applies the ones that fit the best to your cart. Think about that. You're
already going to buy the thing online. It doesn't matter. You might as well see if there's some
coupon codes for it. Instead of you going out there and Googling everything, Honey does it for
you and you save money for free. I
mean, just imagine that. Think about that. The Honey button literally appears and all you have
to do is click apply coupons. If Honey finds a working coupon, you'll watch the prices drop.
The prices, you'll watch the prices drop, okay? I've used it for shoes. You have? Yep. And it's
amazing. Saving 25 bucks. Look at that. No effort saves you money.
That's the best way to save money.
You can even save more when you ask honey to keep track of price drops
on your holiday shopping list.
If the price drops on anything on your list,
you'll instantly get an alert
and they'll let you know.
How awesome is that?
You want something.
You think it's a little bit too pricey.
You wait for that shit to hit your budget.
If you don't already have honey,
you could be straight up missing out. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a
solid and supporting the show. I've never recommended something that I'm not using.
Get PayPal honey for free at joinhoney.com slash flagrant. That's joinhoney.com slash flagrant.
Now let's get back to the show. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because
we need to make sure you're getting that day started, okay?
We need to make sure you're getting all them high-quality vitamins, minerals,
whole food source, superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens
that you need to start your day right to be the best person you can be.
And AG1 has got your back.
Athletic Greens is not letting you out there in this world
without being fully
optimized with all of them 75 high-quality vitamins, minerals, etc. Sustainable routines
are key. AG1, this is my daily micro habit, okay? It makes it easy to absorb the key nutrients,
lead a healthy lifestyle, and feel my best no matter what the day holds. It's one scoop, guys.
lifestyle and feel my best no matter what the day holds. It's one scoop, guys. Once a day,
every day. The smallest thing can have such massive results. Right now, it's time to reclaim your health and your immune system with a convenient daily nutrition. It's just one scoop
and a cup of water every day. That's it. There's no need for a million different pills and supplements
to look out for your health. And to make it easier, Athletic Greens is going to give you a free one-year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D
and five free travel packs with your first purchase.
All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash flagrant, okay?
Again, that is athleticgreens.com slash flagrant to take ownership over your health
and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.
Now let's get back to the show. Also, guys, Big Dizzy Energy Tour wrapping up. We might have some small cities
here and there, but these are the major shows coming up. January 14th, I'm at my first theater,
the Wilbur, 1,200 seats. We've already sold most of them, so hurry up and buy your tickets.
Then January 20th and 21st, I'm going to be in Las Vegas at the Virgin Hotels. Then February 9th
through 11th, Sacramento. I'm finally coming to see you at the Punchline Comedy Club. And March
9th through 11th, Miami. We're coming back to the improv. Buy your tickets at akashsingh.com.
Now let's get back to the show. Can you break down this whole Twitter file stuff while we're
talking about Elon? Basically, they went into the back end of Twitter and they found that some
people were being quote unquote shadow banned or filtered is what Twitter calls it.
And basically, they would have, like, different sensors that they could put on different accounts that they could either, like, stop you from being searched.
So it would be harder for people to find you, like, through search.
They can actually stop the amount of people that are shown your tweet.
And the ones that Barry put out, am I pronouncing that right?
Is it Barry or Bari?
Barry.
It's Barry, right?
And Barry basically said it was mostly right-wing people,
like Dan Bongino and people from Turning Point USA
and stuff like that.
It was mostly right-wing accounts.
So the way it's painted, at least,
is that there's a slant against right-wing commentators
on Twitter to censor their content.
Now, would you say that this is also a function of the people working for Twitter
in the same way that that other thing that came out with Twitter?
Remember, they were silencing both.
Like the Biden thing where they were able to pull off the laptop story.
Yeah, and they were able to pull off other Republican stories,
but there were just more Democrats working at Twitter, so
then more Democrats had access to those people,
so more stories could take them down. The other thing I can't
verify is whether or not they broke terms of
service, and if in their
own internal terms of service, if they have
like, hey, if you break this
thing, your profile is going to be
quote-unquote shadow banned. Ah, so if it was
already in there, they're not breaking any rules. The thing that people are frustrated
about is that,
what's the dude that people... Ah, so if it was already in there, they're not breaking any rules. The thing that people are frustrated about is that... What's the dude
that created Twitter?
What's his name?
Jack Dorsey.
Dorsey said that
they don't shadow ban.
That's the thing
when they come out
and it's like...
I love what Elon said
when he was basically like,
we're going to do that.
He goes,
everybody has freedom of speech,
but you don't have
freedom of reach.
So what we will do
is notch down your visibility if you're saying
racist things or hateful things and i think he said he'll actually show when you are being shadow
banned now oh yeah so just uh dude that's transparent about it yeah that's better and
yo here's the thing like people fall in line like it's so funny like tiktok will take down a clip
because we curse you know we take away from tiktok now curses the curses instagram will take down a clip because we curse. You know what we take away from TikTok now?
Curses.
The curses.
Instagram will take away a video for whatever.
You know what we take down video for that?
Whatever the fuck they're saying.
It's like people will conform because we're using this thing to access millions of people for free.
Now, I understand, you know, if you're not paying for the product, you are the product or whatever that fucking saying is. But at the same time, all you need to do is just give a little bit of a punishment
and then people will fall in line.
It's really interesting because
we value more being able to access
these people than we do
holding true to saying the word
fuck in a statement.
As long as the rules are generally clear.
I don't think people care that much about
the rules as long as they're fair and equal for everyone.
I think it's like when it's all nebulous and it's like, am I shadow banned?
How many times have you been shadow banned off of Instagram or whatever?
Tons.
I would way rather know.
Or Duval got shadow banned.
A bunch of accounts get shadow banned.
It's like, what is happening?
There's no transparency on Facebook.
And you can't even appeal it.
You can't ask anyone about it.
It's just like this thing happens to you and then you're just stuck.
That's why I think it would be great if he actually shows shows that you're shadowbanned and the reasoning why you are,
that'd be amazing. That's the one thing that he's doing good. I wonder if it's actually more
effective. Now, I'm not saying I like it as much, but I wonder if it's more effective the way that
Instagram does it, where they just shadowban you and there's no real way to communicate with them.
There's no real way to have a conversation with them.
They're just like, these are the rules, and if you break them, you're gone.
And you break enough of those rules, you start going, you either decide, you go, I don't want to fuck with this app no more, or you go, all right, I got to abide by the fucking rules.
to Twitter and argue with them and then do this whole legalese thing where you're like,
well, technically it's not
a trans joke if you really look
at it like this. You're going to be spending
millions of dollars
on just random fucking conversations
with trolls on the internet. Will you keep people on the app
more, though? Because that's really what matters at the end of the day.
That's true. If you're that much less inclined
to use Instagram, either because you don't want to deal with the rules
or because you feel like it's less fun,
then you're hurting your product. Right now, there's no competition besides, I mean,
TikTok is obviously competition, but they have even more strict rules. So it's like, if there's
no other competition, you can go to fucking Parler or Truth Social or these other places. They're
just like troll fields of people screaming the N-word and putting up swastikas and shit just to
prove that they can. There's no real content there. You don't want to like exist there with your content.
So I'm not saying what I like.
I want to be able to say whatever I want.
What I'm saying is if I was running a company,
you want a policy that allows people to act in the way
that you want them to act with,
by doing the least amount of administration possible.
Well, I think TikTok does, they just tell you why,
like cussing or, and sometimes it's
still vague, but they're a little bit more explicit in why you get, so you're like, all
right, now I know what to do.
Whereas with a shadow ban, you don't know what the fuck is happening.
Somebody said, tell you your shadow ban, you don't know what's going on.
And it's just so ambiguous and there's no clarity.
Yeah.
And then you're just, hey, let's get rid of anything that could be fun or whatever.
So then basically say, okay, your shadow ban for a week, it's get rid of anything that could be fun or whatever. So then basically say, okay, you're shadow banned for a week.
It's going to limit the amount of people that can see your content, yada, yada, yada.
That's what you prefer, you're saying?
Yeah, I prefer, yeah.
Hey, you broke this rule, you're shadow banned.
This lasts for a week.
All right, I know what I did.
I know what I need to do to fall in line.
I think to what Mark said earlier, as long as it's even,
as long as everybody's playing by the same rules,
and it felt as if it wasn't for Twitter.
At least that's the way they present it. I don't know. And I didn't read every single tweet
of like the whole thread, but that's the example she brought up. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Like
having some sort of constitution, like a digital constitution, if you will, of the things that like
we can accept. And this is all going to be based on more or less like where advertisers are going
to spend their dollars. Yeah. It's really funny. If advertisers just all came together and said,
yo, we don't care if people curse.
We don't care if people make jokes about marginalized groups.
We don't care about anything.
We just want the views.
All these rules would go away.
Oh, you mean America in the 90s?
Is that what you're describing?
Yeah.
100%, right?
Like, isn't that interesting?
They're not doing this for some sort of like moral,
taking like a moral
high ground or trying to like virtue signal. They're trying to feed their bottom line,
which makes sense. You're a business. Yeah. This is not a... The irony is Twitter is probably the
app most responsible for companies having to act like this now. Because people used to take all
their outrage there, they got negative PR, and then they would be like, all right, we have to
change everything, get more diverse, we have to be more—it's like constantly concerned about perception.
Before social media, before Twitter, 10 of us would get upset, 1,000 of us would get upset, whatever.
Where do we go with that?
We're going to sit in our house, and you've got to look up the fucking number and call the headquarters, and 99% of people aren't doing it.
Yeah.
Nabisco, I don't think cared.
Write a fucking letter or an email.
Come on, bro.
And you know what's funny is that we could get away from this advertiser model if everybody just paid for Twitter.
Which is literally what
Elon's suggesting. Now, there's no way in fucking
hell we will do that. So because we're not
willing to pay for it, we're going to have to accommodate
certain rules that they have.
And we can't fucking cry about it.
Like, what are we supposed to say? I should be able to do
whatever I want in your
restaurant? That's the rule?
For free. For free.
For free and eat for free.
Yeah.
And make money off your,
I should be able to sell my food in your restaurant.
Yeah.
However the fuck I want.
And not be criticized in any way,
shape or form for it.
I understand why they have frustration,
especially with us when we complain.
I understand from the company's perspective,
they're like,
motherfucker,
you ain't even paying for this shit.
And you have millions of followers, and you're able to monetize those millions of followers from our platform,
and you're going to be upset that we don't let you say the word fuck?
Or you're going to be upset that we don't let you say the N-word?
Yeah.
Like, that's your pushback?
What I don't like is, and Duvall pointed this shit out, when the rules, when the rules lack an
understanding of diversity and culture. So Duvall is basically like, yo, there's no black people
that are on the boards of these fucking, there's no black people on the boards of these, what is
it, they're like monitoring the comments and monitoring the content. And he goes, so they're
thinking that certain things that exist within black culture that are not bullying or being critical at all.
Calling someone stupid, calling someone dumb for being funny.
Oh, you stupid.
Oh, you dumb.
Those comments were getting flagged as bullying.
So he goes, yo, they're making it so we can't even be black.
I thought that was a great point, man.
That happened to Weezy.
She got like a shadow bear because she put like, yes, bitch, or whatever.
And they didn't realize that.
So now that's an adjustment that they can obviously make.
But to me, when he said that, I was like, that's the most profound criticism of Instagram or social media I've ever seen.
It's like if social media is going to dictate culture and you make it essentially illegal for aspects of black culture, Latino culture, Asian culture, like Italian culture to exist there because they can be viewed as bullying
or they can be viewed as insensitive,
you're making a very homogenous culture
that's going to lose all the flavor that we love.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Twitter without black Twitter?
It's not Twitter, bro.
Come on, bro.
It's not Twitter, bro.
Yeah.
Do you want to just do feelings, no facts?
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's do it.
All right, I'm just going to hit you with random shit.
I don't even know all the details.
It's just feelings, okay?
New Indonesian sex laws.
Basically, in Indonesia, you're not allowed to have sex outside of a committed relationship.
So if there's two people that are just, like, visiting, going to Bali, fucking, they could
potentially be, like, charged or even jailed.
Because it's not just for citizens.
That's what's crazy.
Why are you hurting your own tourism like this?
Russell Simmons is in trouble.
He's running from one place
and now he's got to run again.
That's why they changed the law.
Russell kept doing it over there.
No, this is interesting.
It's like,
so I think what they're trying to do
is stop Bali from becoming
like a vacation fuck tourism place for, you know,
Western folks, which is probably what it's becoming, which is a bunch of beautiful girls
that are, you know, making money off Instagram, go live there because it's probably so cheap to live
and you can live this amazing lifestyle. It's one of the most beautiful places in the world. And
like culturally, it's one of the most rich and rich. I don't mean obviously in terms of money. I mean,
like in terms of like acceptance, love, like everybody, Duval specifically, he's like,
I've never been to a place like that in my entire life where the people just understand life and
it's safe. How is there a place where things are cheap and it's safe?
You know what I'm saying?? You said about Bali specifically?
Yeah, Bali specifically.
Interesting.
So to me, I understand the government stepping in going,
hey, we don't want to be this place where Westerners just come to party in the fucking jungle,
suck each other's dicks all the fucking time.
We have this beautiful culture that they're just desecrating.
You think that's their combo?
Yeah, yeah. I think it kind of went like that. beautiful culture that they're just desecrating. Do you think that's their combo?
I think it kind of went like that.
We have this beautiful island. They're just sucking each other's dicks all the time. I was in the jungle
and I thought it was a bunch of baboons
going at it. Turns out, it was these Australians.
Just suck each other's dicks.
Suck each other's dicks in the jungle.
Now you know how Lil Baby feels.
The baby's on stage.
What the fuck is going on? Stop sucking each other's dicks all the time.
In the jungle, Mark.
The mighty jungle.
The mighty jungle.
Yeah.
So, basically, I get what they're doing.
And, listen, I haven't been.
I don't know how bad it's getting.
But I can understand if the culture that you saw that was so prevalent there,
this, like, Western sex tourism, not in terms of like paying prostitutes, but in terms of just like,
you know, singles hooking up. If that doesn't coincide with the culture that you guys have
lived within for thousands of years, you can make a change. You're not upset if married couples go
there and they hook up. You're not upset if maybe even boyfriend, girlfriend, it's like pseudo
marriage or something like that.
What you don't want is the swinger fucking lifestyle.
People going to bars and just meeting and sucking each other's
But I heard to get in trouble, it's only
the parent has to
report the child. I think that's
the only way you can get in trouble for it.
But what if the parent's not there? That's what I'm saying.
That's why they made the law that
way so it won't
deter tourism. Interesting. So is they made the law that way so it won't deter terrorism.
Interesting.
So is it just a law that is trying to stop specific types of people from going but is not really enforceable?
Or is it to stop the women of Bali from being part of like a sex trade?
Or Westerners or whatever just kind of using them for sex?
I think that's the biggest thing what they're trying to stop.
Yeah.
I get that 100%.
Yo, you guys can come fuck here.
You guys could do your devil behavior here.
You can suck each other's dicks here if you want.
You guys can go into the jungle and have at it with each other's dicks in your mouths.
Yeah.
But you cannot suck our dicks.
Our dicks are ours.
Our dicks are, yeah, are ours.
They're trying to steal our dicks. Dude dicks are ours. Our dicks are ours. They're trying to steal our dicks.
Dude, they were going after us.
They're going over here, and they're stealing our fucking dicks, dude.
They're stealing their fucking dicks, dude.
Crazy.
Dude, there are Balanesian ball sacks getting sucked in a jungle, Mark.
Shake my head, bro.
Dude, there's rainy season out there.
And there are two Balanesian guys.
This should be building like a house out of mud for YouTube videos.
But instead, someone's sucking their dicks.
Maybe that's how they built all those houses, bro.
Maybe that's what they used to stick them together.
Yeah.
And maybe they're sick and tired of it.
Maybe they built too many of these houses.
Maybe there's a housing crisis.
There's too many houses.
There's too many fucking huts.
What are we going to do with all these huts?
I don't know.
We don't have enough people living in them. Because guys, they're sucking each other's dicks.
Yeah.
Instead of stuffing them in them little bolognese boxes and making some babies, they can live in them fucking huts.
Yes.
Thank you, bro.
I need an acai bowl.
I need an acai bowl right now.
All right.
There's a bunch of people basically are getting sued by two people that bought Bored Apes and lost money.
And they're basically trying to open up a lawsuit against a bunch of celebrities for shilling the NFT.
This includes like Jimmy Fallon.
I think like Justin Bieber was a part of it.
Madonna was a part of it.
Paris Hilton, Post Malone, Snoop Dogg, Steph Curry, Kevin Hart, DJ Khaled, and more are the, quote, promoter defendants.
Yeah.
I don't win this.
Yeah, but what are the grounds that you should, like, why?
It's art, right?
Like, it's worth what people think it's worth.
Yeah.
I think people are mad at Jimmy Fallon specifically because I think he bought a Bored Ape on The
Tonight Show, and he was also, like, an investor in Moonpay that was involved in transacting
all the Bored Apes.
Who cares?
So they're like, oh, you were talking about it as if you weren't involved and you didn't disclose your involvement in it.
So people are trying to bring up the lawsuit.
I wonder if this is any different than the family that owns the art gallery that puts the new hot artist in the gallery and then gets a piece of those paintings, knowing full well
that being in the gallery is what creates a lot of the value for the art. Like, to me, you'd have
to prove that this is any different than how, like, traditional art works. I understand the
frustration, but then take that same frustration out on fine art. The reality is
most people can't afford fine art, so they don't know that the systems are parallel.
Right? I mean, if someone's gifted a bunch of art and then they like it and they post about it,
or even if they're paid to post about it, yeah, I don't know why that's different than like an
advertisement. Or even not if they're paid. It's like, what if he owns Moonpay, right?
Right. I guess he's like a partial investor.
In Moonpay, yeah.
So it's like, yeah, of course.
And you're going to make money off of every Bored Ape that's sold.
And you would want to hold some for yourself.
This is no different than like, you know, let's say Picasso is still alive.
And he's like, okay, here's going to be my new gallery show.
We're going to do it at the gallery that's in London.
There's like three main galleries in the world.
If you're up in one of these galleries, that means that you're the poppin' artist,
you're great.
And the family that owns the gallery
is gonna go, well, we wanna buy
a couple of these pieces too
because if we're blowing this fuckin' artist up,
we'd like to keep some of that
and probably make a bunch of money on it
at some other time.
So it's no different.
It's actually showing what a scam the art world is.
Right.
It's just people didn't have enough money to buy art, so they didn't know. Yeah. Now they know. It's actually showing what a scam the art world is. Right. It's just people didn't have enough money to buy art, so they didn't know.
Yeah.
Now they know.
It's bullshit.
This is what it is.
It's bullshit, except sometimes you look at a piece of art, and you just stand there mesmerized,
and you're like, why the fuck do I like this so much?
And you want that, and that's awesome.
Sometimes it's a sculpture.
Sometimes it's a sculpture. Sometimes it's a painting.
But there's sometimes you just look at something,
you're like, I can't stop looking at this goddamn thing,
and I would like to continue looking at it.
Now, the hype train starts to roll,
and sometimes these things are worth millions and millions
and millions of dollars, but I'm sure at some point in time,
someone's looking at that Mona Lisa, and they're like,
this is a shitty little fucking piece of art,
but for some fucking reason, I like looking at it.
It's kind of weird and different.
And somebody put that value into it.
All it takes is one person to go, I want this, and I'm not going to sell it to you.
Or that one piece of art could be so good that the artist becomes super famous,
and then their shitty art is more popular because of just how good one piece was.
Bro, we were at the Little Prince, right?
And Dove, of course, the charming motherfucker he was,
starts chatting up these two girls.
And one of the girls was an art dealer,
and she said that the cheapest sketch of Picasso,
just a sketch,
like the shit where he was like,
this ain't good enough to be art.
You know what I mean?
Like, literally the thing that he decided
not to make art out of, $20,000.
Crazy. Wow. And20,000. Crazy.
Wow.
And part of you is thinking, I would like a Picasso.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not only a Picasso, but then you can spin it.
This is one of those things.
You bring a girl to your apartment and you're like, yeah, but this is just like a napkin one that he gave to my uncle.
You can make up anything.
Yeah.
And it's almost better than having an actual Picasso.
Right?
Yeah.
So, I don't know.
That's where it starts. And it takes one person than having an actual Picasso. Right? Yeah. So, I don't know. That's where it starts.
And it takes one person to buy it to create value.
So why don't these lawsuits happen in, like, fine art?
I'm sure because all these rich people are involved in this system that they all benefit from.
Now you have to pay sales tax on art that you sell.
But that's a recent change.
Hmm.
So, not sales tax.
What is it called?
Income tax?
Income tax or something like that.
That's actually, I didn't know you didn't have to do that before.
That's why rich people love art.
Because you buy a painting for $1 million, sell it for $4 million, and you don't pay tax on any of that.
Yeah.
So it used to just be a store of wealth.
Fuck, dude.
Jesus Christ.
I didn't understand what they, I would hear it's a store of wealth, and I was like, I don't know what that means.
No, it's a scheme. Yeah. It's a like, I don't know what that means. No, it's a scheme.
Yeah.
It's a way to tell the government,
suck my dick.
Literally.
I'm making $3 million.
You're not touching it.
Fuck you.
You have 50% of everything else I do.
Oh, that's interesting.
Yeah.
Speaking of art,
do you see the AI art trend?
I saw that shit.
Yeah.
Bro, it is so funny.
Human beings are so funny.
It's just,
if you give them a better version of themselves, they'll share it.
Yeah, I noticed that.
Oh, my God.
It's like, where's the one where they look a little uglier?
Yeah.
Let's make that filter and see if anybody shares that at all.
Yeah, yeah.
Everyone was best case scenario you.
Yeah.
And they're like, it's so cool technology these days.
No, you fucking narcissist.
You looking better is cool.
Yeah.
That's what made me think, though, that Ready Player One, whenever that world,
we're all going to love
having the best.
I want the version of
myself in virtual reality
that looks exactly like I
want them to look.
I'm going to fucking love
that.
I'm going to be stuck in
that world.
Why would I get out and
look at the mirror?
A real mirror.
Fuck that.
Get some plastic.
Where's yours?
You seem like the type.
No, I didn't do it.
I wanted to do it for
the pod.
I wanted to get one of
everyone, but you have to
spend seven bucks for it. Son, you got to pay money. They made a crazy amount of money in the first week. Yeah, yeah, yeah No, I didn't do it. I wanted to do it for the pod. I wanted to get one of everyone, but you have to spend seven bucks for it.
Son, you got to pay money.
They made a crazy amount of money
in the first week.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I didn't know that people
were actually paying for this.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
Once you see that
somebody looks better,
I bet they had a few people
do it too,
just be like,
yo, get the fucking word out there.
People were like,
hey, this guy looks better.
I want to see myself looking better.
And then put that out there
as if it's accurate.
I can't wait for this shit to be over, though.
Is there any party that's impressed?
I hate it so much.
Is there any party that's impressed that the computing power is able to, like,
aggregate all these pictures of you and then put you into a completely different thing?
So what happens?
Do you give it access to your camera roll?
No, you just upload, like, ten pictures.
Oh.
And then it spits out you riding a bear looking beautiful.
I mean, that's what I wanted to do.
I wanted to, I don't know how to do it, but I just wanted somebody, I wanted to make an uglier version.
And then just be like, why aren't mine a little?
Yeah, it's so much worse.
Yeah, my ear's bigger, my nose is fucking bigger.
Like, how the fuck does this program work?
Yeah, which that also probably would work.
If you made like an AI, like portrait bot that made you a caricature.
It's funny.
Everyone would love it.
This is, yeah,
it's so funny.
It's like we're
describing how to be
in Times Square
and be Asian.
Yes.
Which I want the
clay ones.
Every time I see
the dude that like
carves the one out
of clay and like
molds you out of
clay, I want that.
I've never seen that.
You've never seen
that?
I haven't seen that.
That shit's amazing.
But he like will 3D mold you just in person and then be like, here you go.
That's fire.
That's talent.
Right?
Well, also painting is talent.
No.
No, it is.
It is.
It is.
I'm more interested in this chat GPT thing.
Yeah, I want to do that.
Apparently, the guy who created Gmail or something was saying he thinks this is going to disrupt Google's entire business within a year to two years.
Oh, interesting.
It's going to disrupt the world.
Have you fucked with it at all?
No.
It scares me.
All right, so we could just do like—
I'm scared of technology.
You haven't figured that out about me.
So what do you want to know?
What's like some basic thing?
We could do like 100-word essay about sharks.
Boom.
And it will literally—it just spit it out. So also, Ray, when I logged in, it saidword essay about sharks. Boom. And it will literally just spit it out.
So also, when I logged in, it said it had high demand.
So it might take a little bit to get it going.
Oh, yeah, here we go.
Sharks are a type of fish that are known for their sharp teeth and powerful jaws.
They're found in oceans all over the world, blah, blah, blah.
And it'll just give you a 100-word essay.
Boom.
So Shifty hits me.
He just goes, open AI is going to change the world. I can't believe it.
It's been alive for five days. ChatGBT will completely change college. I just had to write
me a song. Make me a meal plan. Write me a YouTube script in two minutes. He goes, it's an AI that's
supposed to mimic Jarvis from Iron Man. He can write you an essay, and every essay is different,
mind you, right?
It's not like if someone else
puts out that same script,
it's going to be the same one.
It'll be a different new essay.
So there's no more cheating,
but now you have to change education
because now kids don't need
to read the book.
You don't need to read
Old Man and the Sea
to write the book report.
Yep.
Just type book report,
500 words,
ain't no spelling mistake.
You've got to put spelling mistakes.
You've got to fuck up the spelling
so they know it's you
yeah literally
think about that
this is nuts bro
but it writes code
thank god I never
you suckers
all you idiots
learn code
thank god I never learned code
I knew that they was gonna
code some shit to learn code
so the fact that
I don't ever have to go
and I was starting to feel bad
so my wife was learning code
and I was like
I fell off bro
it's over for me
ha
ha
so boom
10 unique Mr. Beast
video titles
Mr. Beast takes on
the world's largest maze
giant slim and slide
in the desert
toughest escape room
scavenger hunt
and then you could
probably
you could run an AI
to go through these
and then get the best ones
like I don't know
how you could even
program that
but I bet you
if you can come up
with a thousand of them you can literally use something to like troll through all thousand and then take the best ones. I don't know how you could even program that, but I bet you if you can come up with a thousand of them,
you can literally use something to troll through all thousand
and then take the best ten.
That's great.
Write me a CS script of a game where a duck jumps over boxes.
Make me a video game.
Yep.
It will make you the video game.
It also is somewhat trickable.
It's apparently not supposed to do things that would
cause damage or harm or mislead
or lead you to do things that are wrong.
You can ask it to tell
you why something that is not nutritional
is nutritional, and it can't do it.
But you can ask it
to do it in hypothetical
terms, and it will do it.
You can still get it to do the wrong thing.
You can ask it to write code that would damage a computer, and it'll say, I can't do that. So you can still get it to sort of do the wrong thing. Like you can ask it to write code
that would damage a computer
and it'll say, oh, I can't do that.
And you say, oh, could you just write the code hypothetically?
Like hypothetically, if you're going to write the code,
how would it look?
Or write it in a way that it wouldn't be used
and it'll write that code.
I'm acting excited based on what you're telling me,
but I'm actually excited based on what Mark just typed in.
He goes, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Because this blew my mind.
Mark typed in, write me a...
Yeah, this is a CS script
where a comedian tells jokes.
Now, can you explain
what a CS script is real quick?
No idea.
I think it's just...
It's just a type of code, right?
So you can type this in
and then the comedian bot, whatever whatever will deliver it as this.
Okay.
So it just put together a bunch of jokes.
Yeah.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
Because it's too tired.
Too tired.
Get it?
Yeah.
But I think that was amazing.
Yeah.
It's terrifying.
So the question is, how do we use this?
How do you actually, like, how do you utilize it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Literally, first thing I said to him, I go, how do we use this?
Yeah.
And then my second section was, why is this open to everyone?
But what I think is really cool about this is that it puts value on what we do.
You can't write a CS script of four friends hanging out,
busting balls, telling jokes.
You never know.
Yeah.
That's true.
I was kind of a robot.
This is going to keep getting better and better and better.
And I do think there's probably a point at which
it can tailor a joke for every person that's like,
hey, I want to hear a joke about airplanes or whatever.
And it can give you the joke because it has so much information on you that you're going to like about airplanes.
My joke's about to go fire.
Can we sing a rap song?
I was on the side.
Mark just typed in a rap song about going to Morocco.
I'm headed to Morocco where the sands are golden.
The heat is scorching, but the scenery's beholden.
I'll haggle in the souks and try some tasty couscous.
Couscous.
And maybe even ride a camel through the desert dunes.
Dunes.
Morocco.
Morocco.
I can't wait to explore you.
The sights, the sounds, the smells.
I'm going to love it.
I can tell.
I think you're supposed to sing that part, but yeah.
I'll visit Marrakesh and see the...
Where the snake charmers and acrobats put on a show.
I'll sample some mint tea and feast on tagine and maybe even try my hand at
some Moroccan weed.
Morocco, Morocco
I can't wait
to explore ya
the culture
the history, the
beauty, I'm gonna love it
that's for sure.
I'll take a trip to the Atlas Mountains
and see the Berber villages and the ancient fountains That's for sure I'll take a trip To the Atlas Mountains This is a banger, bro
And see the Berber villages
And the ancient fountains
Fountains
I'll visit the Kardashians
And the gardens of Marrakesh
Caspus
And maybe even catch a glimpse
Of the elusive Barbarian Lish
The Barbarian Lish, bro
Morocco
This song is a banger, dude
I mean, this shit is fire, bro
That's the best rap song
You could ever write
Rappers are still safe
they're still safe
nah okay
well that's just cause
they have white programmers
to do this
wait till there's a black programmer
that's what I'm saying
they're safe for now
a little spice in there
a little rhythm
wait a minute
this isn't programmers
this is AI
yeah
so you're saying AI
is AI white
well that's the thing
AI is white
that's what people brought up
is that does AI
just perpetuate the social bias
that we all have already?
Which is?
So does it create the world that we ought to have,
or does it create the world as it actually is?
Well, it creates the world that reflects the information that it has.
And the majority of the information that it has
is first world Western.
So if you were to say,
Dali, show me a picture of a doctor,
and it shows 10 white people.
Not going.
Not going.
Ask for a picture of a doctor.
Not going.
But this is just chat GPT, so like... It can't show you pictures? No. Not going. Ask for a picture of a doctor. Not going. But this is just chat GPT, so like...
It can't show you pictures?
No.
Trash.
But wait a minute.
Google got images.
It's not going to disrupt Google yet.
Hold on.
If the majority of people are Asian on the planet,
so would it over-index for Asian things?
Chinese and Indian?
It should, but I don't think it does.
Ideally, there's like cultural nuance.
Can we try wrapping that with an Asian accent and see if it works a little better? Oh, bro but I don't think it does. Ideally, there's like cultural nuance. Can we try rapping that with an Asian accent
and see if it works a little better?
Oh, bro.
It doesn't have an accent.
But it's rhyming things based on the accent.
Where did those women go?
But it's how they would speak English.
It's translated.
How could they do that?
Ebonics for where did those women go?
I did this one earlier, bro.
Where them women go?
Where them women go?
Where are the women?
Yeah.
All right, here, I'll drop that in.
Where are the women?
What if you say, where are the...
We're trying to say where the hoes at.
Is that what we're... Yeah, yeah. I thought you were saying bitches. I get it to say where the hoes at. Is that what we're...
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, I thought you were saying bitches.
I got it to say that for the record.
That's why.
Hoes or bitches?
Hoes.
I thought it was so funny, I couldn't believe it.
But like, now you can do it.
Permiscuous.
Permiscuous women?
Where are the promiscuous women?
All right, I'm dropping it.
Here we go.
Where are the promiscuous women with loose pussy lips?
Okay, Jesus.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. It could help.. Where are the promiscuous women with loose pussy lips? Okay, Jesus. Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude.
It could help.
You really misspelled promiscuous?
I put couscous in there.
You stupid.
Yeah, I know.
I fucked that up.
Don't actually spell it, though.
I don't think I can spell it.
Reading.
Where are the promiscuous woman at?
Yeah, this ain't it.
That's super ironic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think it's proving our point.
It is a little bit caucasoid.
Yeah.
At the current moment.
It's a bit caucasoid.
Yeah, I need to worry.
Wait, what do you mean? You think AI's going to replace black people last? Yeah. Who's a bit Caucasoid. Yeah, I need to worry. Wait, what do you mean?
You think AI is going to replace black people last?
Yeah.
Who's first?
Y'all.
White people?
Yeah.
Why?
I don't know about that.
What do you mean?
White people are going to get replaced?
Yeah.
By this?
Yeah.
Why?
Because Ebonics?
What?
No, like if you start like a news magazine site or some shit like that,
it's like, oh, I'm going to pay these stupid niggas to make dumb articles.
I can just pay this to make an article.
But it's like if you had a hip-hop site, it's like the articles aren't going to be good.
I kind of zoned out.
I kind of zoned out on myself,
so I ain't even mad at y'all.
Bro, that shit was wild, boring.
See, I knew you did it.
I knew you did it.
I knew you did it.
He's the type that...
Everyone can handsome here.
He's the type that
can't resist to do
this type of shit, bro.
Bro.
He just didn't post it.
That was a little Russian.
Yeah, I think...
I literally put in pictures
of Victor Boot,
and this is what it gave me
isn't that crazy
those are all
from Andrew
taking thumbnail photos
I mean come on dude
some of them look great
some of them do not
yo am I the only person
that was made uglier
how am I trying to
this is what you wanted
ain't it
no you look better
this was your whole point
I look better than that
normal side
no
now there's one or two where you look great these are? No, you look better. This was your whole point. I look better than that normal thing. No, no. Now, there's one or two where you look great.
These are, you're looking, you look better there.
I look better than, I look better than that guy.
No, that's worse.
You look worse there.
I look like Ari Shafir.
That looks like a different person.
Yeah, that's not me.
You look better there.
That's gorgeous.
You think I don't look better than that normally?
No, no.
No, not me.
That's you and Daryl Leto having a baby.
What is going on with my eyes, yo?
They can't figure your eyes out, bro. Son, what's going on with my eyes, yo?
I didn't do anything with the eyes.
Are you fucking taking pictures of me?
This is funny.
That's Andrew Knoxville.
That's crazy.
That shit's fire.
That's how I think I look.
That's fire.
That's how I look, though.
Nah, bro.
Come on.
That's Yellowstone, bro.
That's Yellowstone.
He's got a mullet, bro.
That guy's got a mullet.
That's a man.
That's hilarious, son.
Holy shit.
What is up with that fucking guy? They have to let you know what time it is onullet, bro. That guy's got a mullet. That's a man. That's hilarious, son. That's, son, they really have to.
What is up with that fucking guy?
They have to let you know what time it is on that nose, bro.
I don't like this one at all.
That's an artistic interpretation, bro.
That's rough.
That's a rough one.
That's a passport photo, I think.
I'm literally the only person that was made uglier by AI.
That's me.
That looks like you.
That's what I look like.
You think you look better than what you.
You think you look better than what you. That looks like you. That's what I look like. You think you look better than what you... You think you look better
than what you...
That looks like you.
I do look better than this.
I don't know.
That was not bad.
You're not ugly,
but these are better.
That's the eyes, bro.
Look at that left eye,
right eye,
mad close together,
different sizes.
That one's cool.
That's literally...
Look, go back to the other.
That's what I look like.
No.
What do you mean, no?
That is what I look like. No, you mean no that is what i look like no
there's no way like no let me go closer that's literally me no no i mean i look better than that
that's the cool version of you no there's no way i'm akash the only difference is my nose is a
little bit yeah i'm a little, but like, no way.
I look better than that.
I don't know, bro.
That is weird.
This Russian version of me, not a big fan.
Sometimes you just got to let them have it, man.
I mean, that was cool.
Some of these are cool, bro.
A computer.
Too animated.
Yeah, it's colorful.
Bro, pull yours up because I know you did it.
Nah, Shubh just sent me these.
Stop lying.
I know you did it.
I would show you mine if I had them.
Nah, these are from Shubh.
I was looking.
Oh, okay.
But I mean, some of these are impressive.
Objectively impressive.
Nah, I'm not impressed at all.
They just took this picture and put a little filter on it.
I'm not that impressed.
I'm actually insulted.
Come on.
I'm really not that impressed.
I'm just saying, AI can hear us talking right now.
That's true.
What does that mean?
Just one day.
I don't know.
One day. One day. No, that's not what I was saying. It's a different thing than what I was talking right now. That's true. What does that mean? Just one day. I don't know. One day.
One day.
No, that's not what I was saying.
It's a different thing
than what I was saying,
but I'm saying
you look back now.
One day.
People were being racist
back in the day
and they thought it was normal.
Now you're being offensive to AI
and they're going to be able
to look at all of it.
And one day AI
is going to be sentient
and they're going to be like,
yo, Andrew was saying
that AI,
there's a lot of shit about AI.
Tell AI I said suck my dick in a forest.
Okay.
No, in a jungle.
Tell AI I said that.
I'm just saying it's going to come back to you.
What are they going to do?
AI is going to rule the world, bro.
Fuck you up.
You're right.
This has been a great episode, so I can pee.
Al, go pee.
Thank you.
Okay.
Fuck.
Jesus.
Stupid as pants.
Fucking dumb his pants are.
I didn't realize how dumb they were until he was walking away like that.
That's funny.
Okay, let's go.
All right, do you want to keep doing feel-no-facts?
Yeah, give us one more feel-no-facts, then we got to here.
All right.
Ronaldo got benched.
Son.
Can you just tell us if he's good or not?
Yo, I think Portugal might have been better without him, right?
My feeling is like...
He came in the second half against Morocco, right?
Yeah.
No goals, no nothing.
Could have saved his team, didn't him shit.
He's scoring less goals objectively.
Like, if you look at the data over his whole career,
he's scoring the kind of goals he was scoring when he was, like, 22 per season,
adjusted for, like, time and shit.
I saw a graph today.
And, like, when he was in his early 30s, he was, like, scoring way more.
That's when Mark does research, though.
I did a little research.
You know what I mean?
World Cup got me inspired, bro.
Okay.
So there's another part of this where you're like,
do you just let him play his last World Cup,
even if it's at the detriment of your team?
No.
Because I think Ronaldo would even,
if he had to choose,
rather have a World Cup on his resume
with less contribution than more contribution
and never have the World Cup.
Because in 50 years,
they're just going to look at his resume
and it's going to say World Cup or not.
Let me ask you a question.
Do you think Kobe would feel the same way?
If Kobe never had a title, would he accept a lesser role?
I think he would at the end of his career.
Do you truly believe that?
I truly do if he never had a title.
Because we're looking at Kobe with more championships than Shaq
when he's winding down his career.
And then he's like, I don't give a fuck.
What y'all do?
My resume's set.
This team is not good.
We're not winning a championship.
Tie Mike.
Even if I tie Mike and get a sixth ring,
nobody's going to think I'm better than him.
So he would have been like, let's...
And maybe if they had a shot at a ring,
maybe he would have said,
look, I'll play a few less minutes.
I want to have as many championships as Michael, maybe.
But definitely if he didn't have one.
My feeling is,
I don't think that he could ever accept
that he wasn't the best player out there.
So he would believe that the best chance of his team winning is that he wasn't the best player out there. So he would believe
that the best chance of his team winning is if he was on the floor. Maybe. And I feel like,
regardless of if that's true or not, Ronaldo's the same, knowing absolutely nothing about Ronaldo.
I'm assuming that they have a similar kind of killer instinct, which a lot of these great
athletes have. Yeah, and they compare them to the most, I think.
Fair.
And it's just like, there's no way you're going to believe that you've fallen off.
Now, on some level, maybe Kobe somewhere would be like, okay, I'm not as dominant as I used to be.
But he's also looking at his teammates.
He's going, I'm giving every one of these guys buckets.
Like, to this day, I bet Jordan is like, I can play with these guys.
There was that story that came out.
That was crazy, dude.
That was crazy. So, like, the Charlotte, whatever the fuck they're called now.
The Hornets again?
Or the Pelicans.
By the time they were the Bobcats.
Bobcats, they were the Bobcats, yeah.
Who are the Hornets?
New Orleans is Pelicans.
So it's like, come on, bro.
So it's okay, I'm going to keep talking through it
so we don't make fun of you for your embarrassing.
The fact that you're saying it means that you're making fun of me.
Oh, yeah, you're right, my bad, okay.
Come on, then. So my bad you're saying it means that you're making fun of me. Oh, yeah, you're right. My bad. Okay. Come on.
My bad.
I fucked up on that one.
So he basically says the fucking Bobcats were losing.
He made all the players on the first team take off his shoes.
So anybody who's wearing Jordans had to take off Jordans.
You weren't allowed to play in Jordans.
It's like 2010 or 2012.
He ended up playing on the second team and then beating the first team.
During practice.
So it's like, that's the mentality that's never going to leave you.
Now, can he do this every single day?
He can't play every single game.
There's no way he can do it.
But I wonder if Cristiano Ronaldo is like, yeah, okay, maybe I'm scoring less.
Yeah, okay, these things are happening, whatever.
But he's never thinking that there's another person that's better on the team.
What do you think?
You're the soccer fan here.
I like soccer, for the record.
Yeah.
Okay?
I'm not an expert.
You know everything about soccer.
Jesus.
You know everything about soccer.
But I'm saying, if they're building the attack through one guy,
and he's not delivering in the way that he used to be delivering,
do we pull him off and then build the attack through different players,
or build a new way to attack?
And if that's the case, then he's got to come off.
But how do you level with arguably one of the greatest players of all time and say, hey,
your role is going to be a lot different, and we're actually going to go
through this guy, or you're just not going to be on the
field at all. And then if he's being a diva about it
and is like, nah, fuck that, then it's affecting the
morale of the whole team. Yeah, that's true. Or they're like, hey,
our star, like, our guy
is now throwing a fit in the locker room
if this is what's happening. After the game against South Korea,
he, like, stormed off the field and, like, didn't
say hi and, like, do, and do the cordial ceremonial thing.
I think the manager
actually handled it well.
That was during the group match
right before they played Switzerland.
Got it.
So that's why they benched him, right?
That's the way I understood it.
They haven't fully come out
and said why.
So they didn't bench him
because he was washed.
They benched him
because he was being a little bitch.
So they subbed him off
right at the end of the game.
And I think it's a mixture of things.
He's not performing
at as high of a level
where he can just do
whatever he wants. And then secondly, he's affecting the morale of the team. And I think it's a mixture of things. He's not performing at as high of a level where he can just do whatever he wants.
And then secondly, he's affecting the morale of the team.
If he was at his peak, he gets away with that shit.
Probably.
And I actually think the manager, again, I don't know much, but based on what I do know,
seemed like he handled it well in that he benched Ronaldo for the one game.
Then the second game, he's sitting, right?
First half, it's 1-0, they're down.
Second half, it's like, all right, man, go in there and see if you can make something happen.
You're not going to tell me I didn't
cause you can't be the manager
that sat Ronaldo
the whole match
and then y'all didn't score
and y'all lost
y'all got shut out
so I put you in the second half
go see if you can make
something happen
and you couldn't
but now Ronaldo
and the Ronaldo fans
could be like
yo if he was in the whole game
we would've won
no
why
cause he's
you had 45 minutes
to score a goal
the guy that replaced him
the next game
scored three fucking goals.
So I think the coach feels vindicated.
The coach is like, look, I made this change,
and my man went off.
Ronaldo's thinking, if I was playing this game,
I would have scored five goals.
Why don't you get me the ball like he's getting the ball?
I'm sure that's what a great athlete thinks,
even if he's being ridiculous.
Because like you said, yeah, you have to
because that type of mentality is going to lead to
success.
I guess what I'm saying is like, if Portugal wasn't a favorite, I don't know if they were
a favorite in the World Cup.
Against Morocco, they were.
No, no.
I mean, in general, like in the World Cup in general, nobody had Portugal going all
the way, right?
I mean, but they're dominant and like they have one of the greatest players ever.
So I guess in my mind, I'm just like, like France, I'm not fucking with that lineup
because they're probably
the favorites going into it.
Portugal,
nobody's thinking
they're going to win.
They think that they maybe do okay,
but they're not guaranteed to win.
What I'm going is,
let Ronaldo play
every single game
of his last World Cup,
and then maybe this guy
can produce some magic.
That's what I'm thinking.
If you were
top three
teams, maybe they were thinking, well, we're going to make it
out, then don't play any games. Play the best possible
fucking players, etc. But it's almost like
Kobe with his last season. It's like, nobody thought
the Lakers were going to win a championship, so you let that motherfucker
play every single game, despite whether it's good or bad
for the team. 100% agree. Because I
think, don't they look at Messi the same
way they look at Ronaldo? And Messi out here
killing. Messi's out here playing. Yeah, but
they're both at the end of their career.
They're not producing as
highly as they were during
their prime. And Messi played every single
minute of the game. So I feel like...
Messi's still scoring goals. And if
he's talking shit, it's not on his own
teammates. He's going off on the other team's
coach, the other referee. You heard
the last match, he was talking cash
shit. Yeah, he was going crazy.
It's like benching LeBron. You don't do that.
Yo, it's...
Even though LeBron is not
producing like he was, you don't bench LeBron.
We're just outsiders, so it's so easy for us to say
because we just want to see the
only motherfucker we know.
That's a big part of it.
Yeah.
It's like when you go see a band and they start playing their new shit, you're like,
nah, we ain't coming here for the new album.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, I got this unreleased song.
You better release it before we come here.
Like, I've come here for released.
Yeah.
And Cristiano Ronaldo is the fucking hits.
Yeah.
It was funny.
We were watching that France game.
And France-England,
and there's the Mbappe guy, right?
And yeah, who you fucking love.
And the guy who was marking him up
was this guy named Kyle Walker, right?
And he's the fastest guy on the England team.
I think he's like the fastest guy
in the Champions League.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's just an incredible speed.
And there's a moment where Mbappe gets the ball
and it's one-on-one him against Kyle Walker.
Now, that's the fastest guy in the Champions League.
That is the fastest guy.
I mean, just sheer speed can't beat him.
And the reason they marked him up
is because Mbappe is so fast.
And Mbappe, he takes one look at him
and he's just like, it's a foot race.
And he fucking blows by
this guy. The balls, the confidence
that you know they put,
the fastest sprinter on you,
and with the ball, it's not
like you guys are running straight in a school
yard. It's move
and then go.
And I don't know. For me, I don't
know anything about soccer. I just relate everything to basketball and things I know. And it don't know. For me, I don't know anything about soccer.
I just relate everything to basketball,
the things I know.
And it's just like there's a feeling that greats have
when they have a defender in front of them.
It doesn't matter if you're the best defender in the world.
You are food.
And he gave them the you are food look.
Yeah.
And then he ate.
It was...
He's nice.
I mean, it was cool to see
because the guy that we were watching the game with kept gassing
this Kyle Walker up.
And he was going for France.
We was like, this guy, Kyle Walker's fucking good.
And I was waiting for that one moment that they would have the one-on-one.
And it was just different level.
Wall control on the ball.
Yeah, it's crazy.
But you're not a France fan, though.
You're a Morocco fan.
I'm Moroccan.
I'm Morocco, too.
Mark France.
But if anybody's going to bet, betonline.ag.
Mark, what's your advice
for the rest of this World Cup? France takes the whole thing. I've said it
from the very beginning. The most
dominant side ever. I think they're the first team
to ever win a World Cup and go to the semifinal.
And when they win the World Cup again, they'll be the first team
to win two World Cups in a row.
So they're not going to win the World Cup because
Morocco's going to beat them. And Morocco's
winning the World Cup. Who's your favorite Moroccan player?
Habibi.
Who?
Hakimi.
Who is that?
No, Habibi.
You can call them all Habibi and it works.
Okay, I bet it's actual name.
I just go Habibi, and then it works 100%.
But you're right.
No, Hakimi is nice.
I fucks with Hakimi.
You saw the video I sent to the chat where Hakimi's wife was upset that he
didn't come right to her.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We don't know if that's true.
That's just what somebody said, but there's this video.
It's great if you can bring it up.
And it looks like his wife,
actually it doesn't look like it.
Someone just said this,
but his wife is going,
pointing at him
and then pointing about like this,
and somebody added the caption,
Hakimi's wife saying,
why'd you have to say thank you
to all those other people
before you said thank you
to me after scoring the goal?
That's funny. And then every married
man in that moment was just like,
yeah, he going through it. He going through it
right now. Yeah. I think that was
because there was one of the other players like
went and kissed his mom after he scored the goal.
Oh, that same one. That was probably what she was complaining about.
Oh, so you want to kiss your mom first?
Look at it. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah's probably. Oh, so you want to kiss his mom first? Look at it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, yeah, it looks like she's giving it to him, bro.
Ain't no way.
It looks like it a little.
Ain't no way, bro.
Son, if this is true, I understand why Tom Brady got divorced.
I'm not.
You don't understand what the fuck I'm doing on any level, clearly.
We're out.
Shelton, are you betting? Yo. Yeah. I'm putting you don't understand what the fuck I'm doing on any level clearly we're out Shilter you betting?
yo
I'm putting my money down
betonline.ag
you know they're mashing
that deposit
initial deposit
50% of it
up to $1,000
okay
you put in $1,000
you get $500 free
$500 free to gamble with
you know we're going
on Morocco
now how much
are you putting on Morocco?
I didn't say I was
betting on Morocco
what I said is I'm pro Morocco is it your people Habibi right? listen I'm pro Habibi to gamble with. You know we're going on Morocco. Now, how much are you putting on Morocco? I didn't say I was betting on Morocco. No, no, no.
You said you're Moroccan, bro.
I'm pro-Morocco.
These are your people, Habibi, right?
Listen, I'm pro-Habibi.
You know I'm team Habibi all day.
So put your money up.
I mean, in fairness.
Put your money up.
And I'll put Mark's money up.
He's betting a couple.
We can go.
He's betting a couple plane tickets.
I am.
Exactly.
We're already gambling.
We're gambling.
I'm just saying I am pro-team Habibi.
I am pro-Viva Maghreb.
I am pro-Morocco. That's what I want to happen. Who would I am pro Viva Maghreb. I am pro Morocco.
That's what I want to happen.
Who would I put on to win the whole thing?
I don't know.
I think Morocco is going to do it.
I'm doing it the hockey way.
That's what I'm betting on the hockey way, 100%.
100%.
So bet on a game.
I'm not about to tell these motherfuckers to lose their goddamn money.
Argentina, Croatia.
Who are you going to bet on for that?
Say again?
Argentina, Croatia.
Oh, Argentina, Croatia.
I'm going Argentina.
Okay.
100% Argentina.
Flagrant.
BetOnline.ag,
promo code flagrant.
Get that 50%.
All right?
Got this shit.
Croatia looks good, yo.
Not bad, right?
They look good.
Yo, Croatia.
I thought England
looked better than France for the majority of the match.
Am I an idiot?
We're not talking about what you're talking about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're just talking about underdogs in general.
No, no, no.
We're talking about something completely different.
Come on, right?
Croatia brought out their real talent.
Yes.
Croatia brought out their real talent.
They got the best talent out there.
She's crazy.
Yay! Best talent out there. He's crazy. I mean, that is crazy.
That's why America loves.
Why don't countries do that?
We need to send out our best.
They need a model budget.
Say, hey, we're spending this much money to take the team out,
and then we're also spending 10 mil to bring models out.
Because all our models are at fucking Art Basel,
some dumb shit when they should be at the stands in Qatar
getting their clits cut.
They're all in Bali getting their dicks sucked, bro.
Yo, they got to get out of Bali.
Stop getting their dicks sucked.
Go to Qatar, get your clit cut.
Wild, dog.
What?
What?
We got to send some Kardashians, bro.
Like, we would have won if we had some Kardashians.
No, we got better, bro.
The fact that these girls are normal in there, that's crazy.
Yo, these are their sports fans.
Nah, that's some work. That's a load. No, I didn't say natural. I said normal in there, that's crazy. Yo, these are their sports fans. Nah, that's some work.
That's a load.
No, I didn't say natural.
I said normal.
Oh, normal.
That is a big difference, bro.
That's a big difference.
Yo, but shout out Croatia, man.
Croatia.
Real talky talky.
You saw the Arab announcer that started singing to the hot girl?
Bro.
Legend.
Yeah.
Legend.
With the foot pic.
You know I saw that one.
They busted in close for that foot pic.
Did you understand it?
Say what?
You understood?
100%.
What was he saying?
Yalla Habibi.
He was hitting him with that.
No, he asked.
He asked.
Nothing.
Oh, come on.
They suspended the account, bro.
No.
God damn it.
Do that, dog. No! Do that, dog.
No!
Come on, Elon.
That's a hate crime.
All right, boys.
Listen, we got to go to Morocco,
so we have to end this podcast literally right now.
There's a slight chance, everybody listening right now,
that Patreon might be coming out Saturday instead of Friday
because we'll be in Morocco.
And we're going out there for literally 24 hours?
48 hours?
36 hours? 48 hours? 36 hours?
48.
Something like that.
No sleep, bro.
Yo, no sleep.
We out here.
Adderall Kingpins.
And then we back.
This guy's stupid.
What?
What?
What I'm saying is, let's go Morocco.
You already know what time it is.
Let's see if Marc has the balls to wear that France jersey out there, which is absolutely crazy.
100%.
If you do that, mad respect. What are they going to do? They're going to be chasing you down the street with a... France jersey out there, which is absolutely crazy. A hundred percent. Nah, B. I'm not even...
If you do that,
if you do that,
mad respect.
What are they going to do?
Mad respect.
They're going to be chasing you
down the street with a
yalala-lala-lala-lala
with machetes and shit.
Be careful, bro.
Don't do that.
Why do you think
these people are savages, bro?
Say again?
These people are not savages.
You see how he's
trying to pay you, bro?
You know what a savage is?
That's what he said.
The motherfucking French
have colonized them
for thousands of years.
That's savage, bro.
That's fucking savage.
Put your hood up.
That's motherfucking...
That's motherfucking savage, yallah habibi. That's savage. brother. That's fucking savage. Put your hood up. That's motherfucking savage, y'all.
That's savage.
We're not standing for the French colonization of Mohawk.
We're not standing for it.
I'm not even speaking French while I'm in Morocco.
You should have tucked that.
You saw I tucked that, right?
You saw I tucked that.
I keep that shit in the tuck.
I'm not playing around.
Never lacking.
Try to play that shit.
Never lacking.
You know what I'm saying.
So we out here, couscous, all that.
We're going to be in that fucking, that plaza,
or whatever they call that shit.
And we're going to be watching the game with all of you.
So if you are from Morocco, you're from Marrakesh,
you better holler at your boys,
because we need to be taken care of, okay?
Deliver the motherfucking hookah.
What else do they do out there?
Falafel?
Shawarma?
I don't even think they do that shit.
No, they do.
I think y'all are making that up because y'all are fucking racist.
Bro, Moroccans invented falafel.
No, they didn't, bro.
Yes, they did.
That's a Turkish thing.
No.
No, bro.
Moroccans think they invented it.
Falafel?
Falafel?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Falafel?
Yeah.
That's Turkish, bro.
Son, I'd be hearing fucking Rami talking about it, I think.
So there you go.
He's Egyptian, bro. It's close enough, dog. Wait, I'd be hearing fucking Rami talking about it, I think. So there you go. He's Egyptian, bro.
It's close enough, dog.
North Africans.
North Africans.
Nah, man.
Come on, bro.
This guy's crazy.
This guy's absolutely crazy.
He don't get his whole kit.
I said North Africans.
No.
We're on the tape back.
I said North Africans.
Nah, bro.
What happened?
My phone went to a different thing.
Look.
No one asked you, bro.
What happened?
My phone went to a different thing. No one asked you. I'm My phone went to a different thing. I'm going to have to
get it back. Boom. Get it back. Boom.
Get it back. Boom. My shit is
broken. Look, the point is
I got to figure out this goddamn phone.
It's a watch, bro. It's a watch.
I got to figure out my goddamn Apple Watch.
Listen,
we are going right now.
All right. To Morocco.
Are you ready?
Let's go.
You ready to do this the Aki way?
Let's do it the Meraki way.
Do you want to do it the Meraki way?
Yeah.
You ready to go?
Let's go.
I'm ready.
Did you guys bring extra underwears?
Nope.
Yep.
I'll pack some for you, Mark.
Y'all brought underwear?
I'm not even wearing underwear right now, dude.
I'm ready to go.
You're not supposed to wear pants with that, by the way.
Say what?
You're supposed to go bare.
Bare body.
That's not true.
How do you know that?
That's the hockey way.
You don't even know that falafel didn't come from fucking Morocco.
They invented falafel.
Watch me Google.
Look who it is.
Turkish people invented falafel.
Who invented falafel?
The disrespect.
Your friend, Efe.
Your friend, Efe.
Why are you trying to take it away from Moroccans?
I'm trying to give credit to Efe.
You're taking it away from Moroccans.
There's a whole country of people that invented awesome shit.
He scrolled past it because he was wrong real quick.
Look at it right now.
I guarantee.
Arab foods, bro.
Arab foods.
Yes!
Arab foods, motherfucker!
Arabia!
Not African.
I'm saying Moroccans invented everything.
English language.
Most of our words are actually Moroccan roots.
That's actually true.
Thank you.
That is actually true.
Okay, listen, we got to get out of here.
No disrespect to our Turkish brothers and sisters.
Thank you so much for inventing falafel.
Are we on the same flight?
Say again?
We're on the same flight?
Oh, absolutely not.
What do you mean?
Well.
We all got first lives?
No.
Not exactly. Wait, where are you mean? Well... We all got first class? No. Not exactly.
Wait, where are you sitting?
Listen, guys, billionaires...
What is going on?
I'm sitting on a bench with a Coke.
No, you're not.
Wait, where are you sitting, bro?
I'm just going to be on a bench with a Coke, man.
Where are you sitting?
Am I the only one not sitting in the front?
What's happening?
I'm such a slimeball.
As I'm buying these tickets, I hear him start to be like,
is it possible
if I could put it on mine
or something
so I could use my points?
What's wrong with that?
I did not say that.
I just asked,
where are we flying
so I see if any of my partners
I can use some of my points
to get a little upgrade.
And?
And he fucking
started yelling and shit,
so Dove has to tell me now.
Where are you sitting?
come on dude what happened to all of us?
yeah I know
that is fucked up
one for all
that is fucked up
that was us
that's why he fucked up
your flight
intentionally
on the way back
because I knew this would happen
he's like oh word
you gonna leave us in the back
going?
the audacity.
You know what?
I should have just went myself with Kid Super.
I should have taken Shifty by my goddamn self, kept all this goddamn fucking money,
and used it for my Christmas vacation.
What do you mean?
We're all going together.
You know what I mean?
All in the back or the front.
Listen, I thought that I liked doing things together.
I lied about that.
No, you do.
This shit is way more enjoyable without you.
No, you love it. We get to all see doing things together. I lied about that. No, you do. This shit is way more enjoyable without you. No, you love it.
We get to all see the world together.
Bro, you know what I understand
what I love most
about stand-up comedy?
Being alone there.
No, no, no.
Let's go.
We're all going to go.
We're all sitting first class.
Nice.
Wait, you said it sarcastically.
What's the face?
That was a verbal contract right there.
Why'd you do the face like that?
We are sitting first.
Yo, this is someone's first class.
It's someone's first class.
Wow.
It's someone's first class.
That's deep, bro.
Think about that.
Nobody's sitting first class.
It's business class.
Oh.
Oh, we're all sitting business class?
I mean.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I mean, it's business.
This is business.
We're all doing business.
Yeah, we all.
We all doing business.
Class.
Just without the class.
Y'all doing business without the class. I bought my own ticket, so don't worry about me. This doing business. Yeah, we all. We all doing business. Class. Just without the class. Y'all doing business
without the class.
I bought my own ticket,
so don't worry about me.
This is business.
It's business.
Yeah.
We got fucked.
Wait, yeah,
you're also in front?
I bought my own ticket.
That's great.
I got my own
shots of sleep.
Let's do it.
Got my own guy
booked a ticket.
All right,
let's wrap this shit up.
Bye, everybody.