Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Schulz responds to Nelk Boys, Barbie’s feet, and LenaThePlug’s Movie Rating
Episode Date: July 18, 2023yerrr welcome back to Flagrant - the boys are talking about all the summer blockbusters: Nelk, LenaThePlug, Barbie, Oppenheimer, The Island Boyz & much much more. INDULGE 00:00 RELEASE THE NELK POD 1...6:27 Island Boys - identical twins make it less haram? 18:05 Christians, Jews & maybe Muslims are OK with incest 21:56 If you cloned your wife - cheating? 23:17 Environment changes people + Mark is cooking 24:23 Island Boy’s Buoy + they need Ballard 26:17 Who took backshots better? Tom or Schulzy? 29:48 Everything was mid? Lena & Margot 33:10 Akademiks play by play was INCREDIBLE 33:34 Flagrant normalised feet 33:50 How much Lena make? Holiday confusion 41:20 Price to smash your wives? Kiss? Toes? 45:44 Mark found a cheating loophole 47:05 Andrew got MeTooed + Hollywood Diversity 55:04 Hollywood really messes up kids 01:03:52 Sound of Freedom politicised 01:09:02 Catholics - phoney, powerful & politics 01:23:41 Tamagotchi Girlfriends + Free the Feet 01:31:47 Why are actors/writers striking? 01:54:38 Tom Hanks + new movie diversity 02:02:22 Oppenheimer banned in Japan + Revitalising past IP 02:07:16 Andrew breaking down Nyack Club Rug Pull 02:18:44 Napoleon gonna be FIRE + rebrand the Complex 02:26:06 You can line up JFK in Dallas 02:30:03 Sofia is an unreal 51 divorcee 02:35:45 Leo Messi is Florida Man Find Tickets at: TheAndrewSchulz.com AkaashSingh.com
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What's up everybody, welcome to PlayGrid.
Now let's start the show with a message, okay?
Nelk, release the pod.
Oh, release the pod, Nelk!
It's time for war, Nelk!
Let's go!
Okay?
This video went viral of the manager of NelC, John Chahidi, brilliant guy.
And he also manages a bunch of other podcasts.
He's involved in some businesses.
Yeah, he's connected with Elon.
And he's just a really, really, really interesting dude.
And he's been very good to us in terms of giving advice and that kind of shit.
And so he's on this podcast with, I believe, is Graham Steffens.
Yeah.
The Ice Coffee Hour. Yeah. Right so he's on this podcast with I believe it's Graham Steffens. Yeah. The Ice Coffee Hour.
Yeah.
Right?
Okay, so this goes viral.
You guys ever shoot podcasts
and not post them?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a sore subject.
But yeah, there was one.
There was an episode
with Andrew Schultz.
Schultz went after him.
Like, you know,
I think, you know,
when like a stand-up comedian
like looks in a crowd
and decides like just go after somebody. Well, I think like Schultz was kind of. Like, you know, I think, you know, when, like, a stand-up comedian, like, looks in a crowd and decides, like, just go after somebody.
Well, I think, like, Schultz was kind of like, went after Stiney.
And he, um, and it was pretty awkward.
Was it the whole episode or was it, like?
It was a bulk of it.
I know.
You couldn't cut around it?
He would come back to it.
And, like, he just wanted to go after Stiney.
Yep.
Almost felt bad for Stiney.
Okay.
That's funny.
Okay, now.
You bully.
Why are you going around positing?
I didn't even think it was that long on Stiney.
Now, Nelk reacted to this video, because a lot of people were giving them shit.
They were like, release the fucking episode, you pussies, et cetera.
And they basically were like,
Schultz said he didn't want
to put out the episode.
Yeah.
Which is true
because it sucked.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was like,
I think I told you guys.
I vaguely remember.
Yeah, it was just like
one of the worst podcasts
I've ever been on.
And basically,
like, here's the thing.
Here's what happened.
It was Steve Will Do It, who's fucking hilarious, and he's a fan.
He even promoted the special.
He was great.
And then Kyle and Stiney.
And Kyle is, like, the mastermind behind NELP.
Like, he's kind of like a genius.
He's the guy I see the most.
He just understands culture and, like, connecting with different people and, like,'s kind of like a genius. He's the guy I see the most. He just understands culture and like connecting
with different people and
like building a community and a brand.
And but
Kyle and Stiney
I don't think they really knew who I
was. So like
I think they were aware of who
I am or was at the time
but not really that aware of the content.
And not about yeah not about you as a famous person or whatever, but your comedy, your
style of comedy.
Yeah, like I think that maybe they watched the special like right before the pod or something
like that.
But I think it was more a situation where it was like, okay, this guy's got a big reach
on YouTube.
We have a big reach on YouTube.
This can be a big episode type of thing.
And Steve is the fan.
Steve is the sweetest guy in the world.
Like if I called Steve right now probably and asked him to like help me move my apartment, type of thing. And Steve is the fan. Steve is the sweetest guy in the world.
If I called Steve right now probably and asked him
to help me move my apartment,
he'd be like,
I can be there tomorrow.
He's just the sweetest
fucking guy.
But he doesn't drive the pod.
Kyle and Stiney
drive the pod.
I'm sitting in this thing
and I thought that they all
were in the same fraternity
or something.
I wasn't as familiar
with like, no.
But Kyle's kind of organized these
internet superstars,
if you will. You have Salim
and Bradley Martin and built
a team and a brand around it.
But in my mind, they all went to college together.
So when I'm there and they're not really
talking and I'm just like, what is
going on right now? They said that
in the video. They were like, we were nervous because that was the
first time we had ever all done a pod together.
It was just Trump and me.
The only
time they bring out the A team.
So
it was just this
weird energy. I pretty
early on realized that Kyle
and Stein don't really know me
that well. Because the questions they're
asking are really basic questions.
Like what's an example?
Has anybody ever like heckled you?
And there's a moment in the pod,
I don't know if they edited it,
but where I'm like, what?
And they're like,
have you ever like talked to someone in the crowd?
And like, so I'm thinking, so I'm thinking two different things in this moment.
I'm going, either they have no clue who I am, and that's weird that I would even be here.
Annoying, yeah.
Or they know, and it's a troll.
So I'm like, hmm.
Do you know what I mean and in that moment
Stiney
got a
now he knows what you do
but I don't even think I was being funny
I think I was just explaining to him
who I think he is in a
stern way
so
but you have to understand it was just like, it was like a, I think they even said
in the clip it was like a weird moment, the energy was just kind of off, you know, and
like we were just doing the interview and like randomly like producers would come in
and like angle the Happy Dad cans like to the camera so the logo was facing the can.
And I'd be like in the middle
of like telling a story
or explaining something.
It's like a check drop.
Yeah.
And I'm like,
and I'd be like,
you hate those.
Exactly.
But it was just one of those things
where it's like,
I'm like,
I'm in this moment where like,
okay,
I don't think these guys
know who I am.
There are moments
where like none of us talked.
Like we just sit there like this
and I'd be like, what is fucking happening right now
so like i and then the logo thing and i was just like it what is it like the beautiful thing about
a podcast is when you have like genuine interest in someone you get to sit across from them like
ask all your con your questions and like you know get to the bottom of theories or if you hate
someone yeah you get to confront them about something it's like it's just like this beautiful thing and in the moment when they're moving the
logo i'm like am i doing a commercial for happy dad and not getting paid for it like what is going
on right now so i think do like a base level of research like someone is coming out of their day
to like spend time to sit with you so god bless akash we've had some guests on where he's been like, dude, I got to research this guy.
But he does it.
But you do it.
He does it.
So I think I just, you know, I was just like, what is going on right here?
Well, you didn't research.
So I think it was just like, and then I think maybe Stiney asked me one more question.
And it could have been genuine from him, but it felt like trolling.
And I was like, who is this fucking Chicken McNugget asking me shit?
Like, who is this guy?
I'm trying to film a commercial.
I'm trying to do a happy day.
I'm doing my best here.
Okay? To sell the
fucking spiked seltzers.
And then they ask me some
fucking question and I, you know.
Which it is kind of funny that like Steve
I guess doesn't talk that much so he wasn't
saying that much and then Kyle apparently doesn't always
like lead a lot of times with certain people
so he wasn't talking much so Stiney according
to the video his explanation he was like I was
doing my best to like keep it going
and he was trying and then
he was leading most of that interview
and it always seemed like he was good
am I interviewing y'all like that's the thing like so afterwards i hit him up i was like i was like
yo should we just scrap it and then i was just gonna tell i was and we can like do it again
and i was gonna say bring bradley and salim who i have more of a rapport with and then like they
know my stuff a little bit more and then we can kind of have some fun. Even John could have been on the pod.
Yeah, John should have sat down.
So I was just going to say, yeah, we could do it again.
And then what I heard was that, but I also, but they also were like, hey, we'll edit it and then see what's going on.
And I was like, look, it's fine.
It's your pod, whatever you want to do.
But then what I heard is that Stiney was like, please don't release that podcast.
So I think he's acting as if he's like, yeah, let's just have it out there.
I think they should release it still.
Like, just put it out.
And I know there's concern about Steve will do its face because I think he's banned from YouTube.
But just blur his face.
Like, if you blur his face, you're good.
Sounds like he didn't talk much anyway.
So it sounds like it's mainly you and Stiney.
In the beginning, it was some talking
And I think everybody was like what is going on
I've never seen a podcast
People should see it for what not to do
On a podcast
I hope that you can see
There's a moment
Where I think we all just take a breath together
There's a moment
Yeah
So you have a watch
Cool Tell time with that Let's take a break There's a moment, yeah, where it's like, so you have a watch?
Cool.
What, did you tell time with that?
Let's take a break.
Happy Dad is coming out with a new flavor, Chicken McNugget.
We got, you know, it's like, I was like, what is going on right now?
You know what this reminds me of?
What?
This beautiful moment from Seinfeld and Larry King. Yes!
And he was smart enough to keep it in. Yeah, well, it's live. What a genius Seinfeld. Larry King. And he was smart enough to keep it in.
Yeah, well, it's live.
What a genius
Seinfeld.
Larry King live
was the name of the show.
Should we watch it?
You've seen this?
Let's watch it.
It's fantastic.
This is exactly
how I felt
and maybe it went similar.
180 episodes.
You gave it up, right?
I did.
They didn't cancel you.
You canceled them.
You're not aware of this? No, I'm asking think i got canceled are you under the impression that i got hurt so i hurt you jerry
i thought that was pretty well documented is this still cnn don't most shows go down
just from watching but yeah no i i went off there I was the number one show on television, Larry
Do you know who I am?
Jewish guy, Brooklyn
75 million viewers
Last episode
Don't take it so bad
Well, that's a big difference
Between being cancelled
And being number one
We'll be right back
Let me just tell you something I was not that funny number one. We'll be right back. Big commercial.
Let me just tell you something.
I was not that funny.
You know like you and Seinfeld
was like, you know how you hate your dad and then you just become
your dad? That's you and Seinfeld.
What are you talking about?
I can't wait until you guys meet up, dude. It's going to be amazing.
Oh, we have. Didn't go well.
Again, again, again.
Second time's a charm, right, Nelt?
Yeah.
What did you say to him?
Do you not know who I am?
No, no.
It was, he said something.
I think the question's in there.
It's like, it was something like, yeah, so have you ever had a situation where, like,
you, like, interact with the audience on the fly or something?
Bro.
What the fuck?
I love this, dude.
Yeah.
And it was just like.
I love that.
And I was like, and I think I just went like this. I think I just went like this
I think I just went
yeah
I think it was just like yeah
and that point I was like I think he's trolling
yeah they had to be trolling
or you're just very unfamiliar
cause that's the thing
I didn't know so I chose to be more direct
you treated him like he was trolling
now I want to see this if he says I'm familiar you'd be softer You treated him like he was trolling. Now I want to see this.
Yes.
Because if he says I'm familiar, you'd be softer.
But if you think he's trolling, the only way to beat him is to...
And there's a certain level of, like, you've got to be at a level to troll.
You know, like, if Charlemagne is trolling me like that,
and I'm on The Breakfast Club, it's just a hilarious thing.
Yeah.
But, you know, I don't think anybody has gone further in entertainment
with less talent than this kid.
So it's like, I'm like, where does he get off trolling?
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, where does he get off trolling?
Ooh, okay.
So that's why I was like, I need to, this needs a reaction.
You're going to mess up your Happy Dad sponsorship, dude.
You're really going to mess that up.
All that Happy Dad money is going out the drain right now.
Damn.
There's a flavor for you, too.
Damn. What flavor? What would be the best flavor?
You're the comedian, not me.
I heard you really
lost it when they were like, yo, how's your time on
Guy Code?
They just read you a PDF. So you went to UCSB.
What was that like? Literally, it felt like that.
Were you the class clown?
Honestly, it might have been one of the
questions. It was like, hey, ChatGPT, can you give a list of questions for a comedian that you've never seen before?
Yeah.
That was the question.
And it's like, let's just not do it.
Yeah.
I'd just rather just not do it.
I want to see it now.
Put it out, guys.
Put it out.
It's also hilarious because I think Stiney was trying to keep it afloat.
He might have been genuine.
And the fact that he was the one trying and then you just cloppered him.
Yeah, no, no, he wasn't.
I think he did.
That's the funniest part.
Well, listen, if that's the case, I apologize.
If that's the case, I apologize.
But he has like an air of inauthenticity to him.
And like it's always hard for me to be around people that are like pretending.
So it's like, for me to be around people that are like pretending so it's like i i you know you know what i mean like my um my knee-jerk reaction to people who are being
fake with me is to be like incredibly direct with them so that they have to be real in that moment
you know what i mean and you know he went knee-jerk if he was doing his best and he was like
feeling insecure that the interview wasn't doing that well and he was trying to do something.
No one's talking.
Okay, I'm the only one that'll ask questions.
Yeah.
Then I feel bad and I would apologize for it.
That being said, it might be consistent to how he is.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Just the overwhelming hate for this poor kid.
It's just unbelievable.
He's like, catch me outside or something.
Maybe.
Bro, maybe. it's just I'm pro like maybe it's just great
the video went up and like every comment was like
fuck that kid
and maybe he was genuinely
trying to keep the interview afloat
well I'm sure you're going to help his PR with your
I don't know who's gone further on less talent campaign
I just believe it
but that's not
that doesn't mean he's a bad guy
he's socially savvy I mean he's a bad guy.
He's socially savvy.
I mean, he's gotten to this position.
Right? Like, I think he started out as Steve's assistant.
And then he got...
Now he's on the show, and Steve isn't.
Like, so the kid is
socially savvy. There's no question to get there.
I think I even said that in the pod.
But, um... I don't. But I don't know.
Would you want it to come out in its entirety or the way Kyle
was saying it was reacting to moments
and then discussing them further?
Put it out. Put the whole thing out.
That dead air is what you really want.
It's the sweet sauce.
It's also fun to watch it from
this perspective. Because if you went into
it with the excitement of, say, you're a fan of the Nelk Boys, you're a fan of us, and you're like, oh shit, I want to see Schultz on this perspective. Yeah. Because if you went into it with the excitement of like,
say you're a fan of the Nelk Boys,
you're a fan of us and you're like,
shit, I want to see Schultz on
the show.
This is going to be this awesome
collaboration of these two people
that I'm really into.
You're going to be like this was
the worst thing that's ever
happened on the internet.
But if you go into it going this is
the worst podcast ever and
then it satisfies that you're like,
hell yeah.
Nailed it.
Yes.
Yeah, it's good.
100%.
Tour announcements, Long Island, I owe you a show. Pandemic killed our show at the
Paramount. Well, you know what? We're making it good, September 13th. We're pulling back up.
The presale is up right now, okay? Theandrewshawls.com, use the presale code Andrew,
get those tickets immediately, immediately, immediately.
I don't want any of y'all to miss out.
Also, to the people, the good people up in Canada that were not able to get tickets to the Scotiabank Arena shows,
I'm going to be doing, the weekend before, Niagara Falls, the casino, and then also Windsor.
Windsor, Windsor, Windsor, and Niagara Falls.
So that's going to be Niagara Falls the 22nd and Windsor, Ontario the 23rd.
So theandrewschultz.com, pre-sale code Andrew for those.
Those are on sale right now.
Also, Ireland, some tickets left.
Calgary, some tickets left.
theandrewschultz.com for those.
We'll see you out there.
Peace. Also, guys, I got some dates to announce. And first of all, again, thank you guys, Houston. Calgary some tickets left dandrasholt.com for those we'll see you out there peace
also guys
I got some dates to announce
and first of all again
thank you guys
Houston
I think I said this last week
but we sold out three dates
for my special taping
in September
thank you guys so much
but in the meantime
this is important
every Monday in August
in New York City
I'm going to be running
my special hour
to get it ready
for September
that is August 7th
14th
21st,
and 28th at New York Comedy Club. You can get your tickets at their website or mine.
Also this week, guys, I'm going to be in Albany, New York on July 20th, South Burlington, Vermont
on July 21st. August 2nd, I'm going to be in Omaha, Nebraska. August 3rd, I'm going to be in
West Des Moines, Iowa. You can get those tickets and a bunch more dates at akashsingh.com.
New York Comedy Club.
Buy them tickets.
I'll see you there.
The funniest shit about the Island Boys is it shows what people are more grossed out by, incest or gay.
Because there are comments on the Twitter videos of the Island Boys kissing where people are like,
Ew!
That's gay!
It's two brothers kissing, yo.
Yo, okay, can I just throw this out?
Is being, no, hold on, hold on.
Is being identical twins not as weird?
I was just thinking this!
Yeah, weird.
No, no, no, it's genetics, right?
It's the same genetic.
100% genetic match, a genetic match, completely.
Kissing your brother is like kissing yourself.
No. Yep.
So they could just circle jerky stuff and it's fine?
A regular brother's 50%
genes are the same. This is 100%!
So they could circle
jerk each other and it's fine. When he jerks himself
off, he's jerking off his brother. Do you not jerk off?
What about this, Al?
Shit.
Keep that same energy, bro.
Keep the same energy. What if they kiss? How would you
feel about that? I already told y'all about what I had.
This is a fire story. Say it again.
I was dating a
twin, right?
And I asked her, I was like, yo, have you and your
sister ever, you know, hooked up with the same
dude? And she was like, that's
incest. And my reaction
was, for y'all.
That's something you gotta deal with.
Talk to God about that for y'all.
For me, it's a threesome.
But yeah, you gotta have the threesome
with them. But everyone looks at it and they're like,
yeah, that's fine. Then they look at this and they're like, gross!
Yeah, you don't get it?
But what is it?
Is it the gay or is it the incest?
It depends who you are.
But this is gay incest also and everyone likes it. Can both together. Well, it depends who you are. But this is gay incest also, and everyone likes it.
Can I just say something?
It depends who you are religiously.
Because if you're a devout Christian, incest is okay.
Oh, fuck.
Incest is okay.
Incest is part of it.
That is a good point.
Wait, why?
What do you mean?
They'd be fucking each other.
They'd be doing that shit biblically.
Biblically?
They'd be incest.
Yeah, I know.
Son, you was getting in where you fit in in And sometimes where you fit in Is the family
Yeah it fits perfect
You know what I mean
I remember asking
One of my teachers
I was like
So Adam and Eve
They had three sons I think
Or two sons
Three sons
And I was like
So where
How did
I always thought that too
Yeah
And then they were like
Well we don't know
Exactly how many people
And you know
They had
You know
God
I mean
Works in mysterious ways
Even scientifically
I've always thought that
Unless there was like Ten people that got dropped here
or sprang up and they weren't related,
there's first man, then there's probably first woman,
and then, you know, probably the same.
They're probably incestual.
Now, if I was to say,
Adam first man, Eve first woman,
but then God probably threw down some pussy as well.
And some dick as well.
I don't think they were all made by Adam and Eve.
I don't think we're all direct descendants of Adam and Eve.
Well, actually.
But there was a first human.
But someone had to be first.
Yeah.
But there were also some Neanderthals out there.
We're fucking them.
And also some Yunkai or whatever.
What are the big motherfuckers?
What is that?
Kanookies.
What are the conspiracy theories?
Oh, you're talking about those Neanderthals?
Oh, the Wembinyamas.
No, no, the Wembinyamas.
No, no, no.
No, no.
The giants.
Yeah, the Nevinians.
Yeah, something like that.
There's a name for giants that's in the Bible, I think, too.
Anyway, my point is, if you're a devout Christian, you've read stories about incest.
The Nephilim.
Nephilim.
So you've read stories about incest as just part of it.
Like, didn't What's-His-Face sleep with his daughters or something?
Starts with a J, maybe?
Go, go, go.
Joseph?
No, no, no.
The dude who...
There was a story that I remember being... Oh, his daughters rape him. Oh, no. The dude who, there was a story that I remember being told. Oh, his daughters raped him.
Oh, Moses maybe?
Jacob?
No, no, no, no.
His daughters raped him.
Lot?
You should know this shit.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tamar and Lot.
Yeah.
How?
How?
What happened to the information?
Because you just learned it.
What happened to the information?
You just learned it.
Can I tell you something?
You're born again Christian.
You just learned it. Yes, you did. It was given to it. Can I tell you something? You're born again Christian. You just learned it.
Yes, you did.
It was given to me.
It was given to me.
God gave it to me.
That moment, God gave it to me.
No, I learned it that long.
They were afraid of him having descendants, so they got him drunk and had sex with him.
And they raped him.
They raped him.
That's Old Testament.
These are Jew books, bro.
You keep reading your Jew books.
One gave birth to Moab, and the other gave to Ammon.
Exactly.
That's Old Testament? If you're Christian, you can't be that judgmental. And Jewish. And Jewish. gave birth to Moab and the other gave to Ammon. Exactly. So,
if you're a Christian,
you can't be that judgmental.
And Jewish.
And Jewish. First of all,
you Jewish.
You're Jewish.
You Jewish.
You guys are both way more Jewish.
You off Jewish.
I'm off Jewish.
You off Jewish.
We're the sequel.
We moved on.
We're the spin-off.
You off Jewish, bro.
We're the spin-off, bro.
Exactly.
You the sequel.
Exactly.
You the sequel.
Yeah, exactly.
Godfather 2, the best one.
You die hard for it.
Godfather 2, bro. Come on. Yeah, exactly. Godfather 2, the best one. You die hard for it. Godfather 2, bro.
Come on.
Listen, if you are devout Jewish,
if you're devout Christian,
maybe even muzzy,
you all believe in these stories,
so the incest part should not bug you at all.
The only part that should bug you is the hot gay.
If the hot gay part is bugging you, is it gay if it's the same genetic human being?
That's a valid point.
Is it gay if it's the same genetic human being?
It's not gay, but it's the worst sin of all.
Pride.
It's narcissism, bro.
Oh, interesting.
He's trying to fuck himself in the ass. That's good. That's arrogant. He's cooking. He's cooking. I'm going to give it to you. Straight to hell. He's cooking. He's narcissism, bro. Oh, interesting. He's trying to fuck himself. He's good.
That's arrogant.
He's cooking.
That's arrogant, bro.
I'm going to give it to you.
Straight to hell.
He's cooking.
He's cooking.
Can't be doing that.
Can't do it.
No, no.
We know they're going to hell.
We're not debating that.
Mordecism.
But here's the question.
Let me ask this.
If you cloned your wife, your wife.
Not cheating.
Your fiance. Mm-hmm. Smash. Your wife. Not cheating. Your fiance.
Mm-hmm.
Smash.
Is that cheating?
No.
How?
It's a clone.
How?
It's a genetic clone, right?
Yeah, but it's different.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's different.
Whoa.
What a waste of a cheat.
Right?
You don't be angry at me about this.
I could have got a real cheat on.
Yeah.
I cheated with you. She got all your same moves. I could have got a real cheat off. Yeah.
I cheated with you.
She got all your same moves.
No, we're not cheating.
We just threed.
Also, how is she going to catch you?
Threesies all day.
Threesies crazy.
What?
The threesie?
Come on.
All day.
That's crazy.
To me.
Wait.
You have both of them angry at you?
Come on.
That's crazy.
Would you do a threesie with the clone of yourself?
Nah.
No. Wait a minute. Would you do a Thrizzy with the clone of yourself?
Nah.
No!
Wait a minute, would you let your clone smash your fiance?
No!
Hell no!
Is you!
Hell no! Is you!
Is it incest if it's your genetic identical brother?
Technically it's not, yo.
Yes.
Technically it's no different than kissing yourself.
I think it's less weird.
It's the most incest.
It's less weird
Not because you jerking off ain't incest
Exactly, so if he gave you a handjob
That's just a jerk off
Nah, you can't get jerked off by your genetic code
That's a jerk off
Your logic is falling apart now, I'm staying true
Hold up, it's a different person
Are you trying to say the environment changes it?
Are you trying to say the person is dictated by their environment?
Mark, Mike.
Oh, shit.
What happened?
He bailed you out.
You're lucky.
Hold on.
No, no, no.
My mic.
Hold on.
My mic is...
Hold on.
So are you trying to say a person is a product of their environment?
So we have to be careful what we teach these kids in school?
Oh, yeah.
And who reads to them?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. For a second, them? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
For a second,
I thought you were saying drag queens were good.
I thought you were saying that
for a second,
and that's where I was
getting freaked out.
No, I mean,
they're two different people.
If one of them robs a bank,
you can't be like,
you're both going to jail.
No, they're not the same.
Two different men.
Exactly.
Yep.
They are, you know,
we acknowledge this.
Come on, bro.
Let's go, Mark.
Esquire, Esquire.
I'm an attorney.
Listen,
of course there are two different people.
Nobody's questioning whether they're the same person.
Is that what you thought we were arguing,
that they're one human being?
They're two different human beings.
So then it's incest.
No.
Genetically the same.
Let me tell you something.
It's gay?
Whoa, what the fuck is this? Try to get the heat off me, bro bro this is a deception tactic in court nah nah i've been watching court tv all weekend bro wait what what is that maybe i'm a genetic
clone with him you know what i'm saying come on bro hold on maybe maybe we're triplets did he
fuck adam's wife yo hold on dude no you can't say that, bro. What's going on right now?
That's a guy's wife, dude.
Yo, take this.
Yeah, why are we looking at that?
Yeah.
And why did you know that that exists?
I'm just scrolling.
Oh, shit.
Oh, bro.
I feel a prick coming.
I feel a prick coming.
Yo, they are down bad.
Let's go.
God damn.
You think Epstein got to him?
I wasn't.
Have you seen those old pictures?
What?
The picture of Epstein with two young kids.
Everybody says it's the Island Boys.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
They are down bad.
No, I think they're being sex trafficked.
Son, just put a...
I'm trying to figure out when they were...
Son, we need Ballard, bro.
We need Ballard to save the Island Boys, yo.
Shout out...
What's his name?
Who?
Oh, Sounds of Freedom.
Sounds of Freedom.
We need Sounds of Freedom to save the Island Boys, bro.
Yeah, dude.
Let's go.
Oh, yo, why are they closing their eyes?
That's kind of gayer to me.
Nah, Blue don't close his eyes.
Bruh.
This is crazy.
It took one moment with his eyes.
Don't close your eyes, bro.
Or maybe that, I don't know.
This is wild.
All right, we got to stop this.
I feel bad.
Yeah.
I feel bad.
Because there'll be a sex traffic.
We can be ballard, bro.
Can men get sex trafficked 18? Yeah, how that?
They do it
Listen watch sounds of freedom. You're gonna know they're driving themselves through the sex traffic ain't that great?
Yeah, I don't think there's a ton of traffic for dudes over 18 trying to fuck look at that OnlyFans on fire right now
They're driving themselves. They're not getting that money, bro. They're being sex trafficked.
Who's signing up for that?
Oh, I can't believe I closed it.
Who's signing up for that?
Gays like that shit?
I did it for research purposes
only for this podcast.
I immediately canceled my subscription.
You don't have to watch,
just watch the Tom Holland movie.
You don't have to watch the movie.
Come on.
Who do you think took back shots better,
me or Tom?
We should get a back-to-back.
We really should get a back-to-back. We really should get a back-to-back.
Yo, the pictures.
I ain't moan like that.
My man let a fucking moan out.
I ain't moan.
Son, your toes curled.
You could just tell from your face.
I had sneakers on.
You could tell from your face.
You would enjoy it.
Nah, son.
Y'all crazy, man.
Y'all crazy.
Your lip was quivering and shit.
You was really enjoying that shit, son.
No, no, no.
Tom.
You was taking that shit like a champ, man.
You wanted it rough.
You wanted it like forceful, but you wanted it.
It was weird.
It was a whole weird thing.
I was the character, bro.
The character was into that shit.
That's the best act that I've ever seen.
I just thought of it.
I got one line in that movie, but that shit, Oscar.
No, that's crazy, bro.
That's exactly how you look.
No, you never saw dude in me.
You never saw dude in me. Boss, can you try to find that?
Yeah
You never saw the dude in me
Alright, this is what
This is what old Tommy did
No, but try to find
Oh, fuck, dude
Come on, Brent
Dude, come on, dude
What's going
Why is everything gay now?
You feel a brick on me?
Yeah, dude
I do feel a brick on me Nah, his scene was a little better than yours, though And more intimate Oh, you feel the brick? Oh, yeah
And more intimate like they lock in hand, okay, we got it we got a better actor that's all I know
You ain't really get into it
First they saying I'm gay then I'm not gay enough. That's really what they're putting on you right now
You're gonna take that I mean if you're gonna be gay for a role, you might as well be an actor.
I mean, don't not be an actor. How many times they shot that, bro?
Nah, he's one take.
That's one take Holland right there.
I'm one take.
I let them know.
I had them bring the stunt double in.
How many times did he ever do anything in one take?
I let them bring the stunt double in.
Did they?
I did.
I was like, nah, you need a stunt double.
This shit right here.
I heard you was fluffing them before, though. That's crazy. Nah, nah. That's wild. Did they? I did. I was like, nah, you need a stunt double with this shit right here. I heard you was fluffing him
before though.
That's crazy.
Nah, nah.
That's wild.
That's a wild lie.
He's got nail polish.
He was going above and beyond.
I know.
It's like, yo,
you're so gay, bro.
He was going above and beyond.
At least I was getting paid
to be gay.
You guys are doing it
for the love of the game, bro.
He's paying money.
He's paying money.
I mean, you are paying
other people money
to make you gay, bro.
That's real shit, though.
You probably jealous, man.
You wish you was up on that wall.
You wish you was gravitating.
He was tripping your pedicure and manicure.
Fuck out of here, bro.
Fuck you, Al.
Son of a bitch.
Nah, but we got to find you a picture, please.
Can we put that up?
We got to find it.
Can we put that up?
How that show was so bad, they took it away for free.
That's crazy.
They made the show free.
Yeah, you got the reverse Illuminati.
Yo, real talk, they are wiping my
gay from the internet. Thank you.
Shout out you.
Shout out they. Shout out the they's out there.
George Soros. You gotta say thanks to George Soros.
You're doing some bad shit with the vaccines and such, but you're doing pretty good
stuff when it comes to me being gay.
When you said they, I thought you meant
non-binary people, and I was like, how are we coming to this?
No, no, they are the, there's two they's. They're I was like, how did we come to this? No, no.
There's two they's.
They're the people in control of everything and the people in control of everything.
Yeah, I'm not trying to find.
What was the name of that movie?
We find it.
This shit.
Here's Johnny.
It was a TV show.
There's Johnny.
Oh.
There's Johnny.
You gotta find out.
That's sick.
Listen, it was on...
Fuck, what was that shit that got canceled? Hulu. No, it was on fuck what was that shit
that got cancelled
Hulu
no it was Hulu
no Hulu bought it
Hulu bought it
but it was originally
for this streaming service
I forgot what it was
damn
why don't you turn the phone
to me
no
what was Twibby
Twibby
what a fucking
loser ass project
that was
no it was for another
fucking thing I forgot what it was for another fucking thing.
I forgot what it was.
We're going to find out.
We'll react to that live.
Yeah.
Anyway, what else we got going on, boys?
Watched a fire movie this weekend, bro.
Which one?
Oh, I heard it was kind of mid.
Yeah, I'm not hearing the best reviews.
You didn't watch it, dude?
No.
Oh, is this our first time talking about it since they've had sex?
Since it's been released.
Since the video's been released.
Okay, here's my thing.
That was an impossible mission right there.
Wait, what was...
I can't look and talk about this.
Mark, take it down.
See-so.
See-so, yeah.
But Mark, you can keep it up,
but you're getting too locked in.
You're acting a little homeschooled right now.
No, I wasn't.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I literally wasn't.
Okay, so I didn't realize
that we haven't done a pod since, yeah, Lena got twisted.
Whoa, bro.
It's a guy's wife.
You can't just say some guy's wife got her guts.
I think you can if he did it, if he orchestrated it.
You got to be respectful.
Wait, wait, wait.
You got to be respectful.
Yeah, we can't just say that some girl got fucking.
You can't say that. That's things you can't say.
You can't say. You cannot say that, bro. Guys,
what I'm saying is we have to
be respectful here. This is a man's
wife. Someone we know, friend of the show.
Exactly. As a friend of the show, we cannot
talk about how Alexander the
Great expanded the Macedonian
Empire. You can't say that.
Wait, what?
No?
Okay.
No, no, no.
You gotta be respectful, dude.
Yeah.
You can't say it.
She got a katana
to her fucking belly.
You can't say it.
Yeah.
But for real, though,
how do we describe
how Jason Love
put the bone and bone apart
when...
You can't say that.
We can't talk about that?
You can't.
You just have to respect it
for what it is.
Can we talk about her
being an absolute champion?
Yo, this is what I hate.
Like, what was going...
What do you hate?
Tell us what you hate.
No, no.
The internet?
Like, the expectations
were way too high
that, like,
who was mid that we...
You thought he had
a 25-inch dick?
Sorry, can I just
have a sentence?
I mean, Jesus,
you don't even know
what I'm going to say.
You don't even know
what I'm going to say.
What I'm trying to say is
that weekend,
they called Barbie mid.
Oh, that was crazy.
Yeah.
Like I've said in the past,
only mid in Russia.
Outside of Russia,
this is one of the most
beautiful women
on the planet Earth.
They called her mid.
Listen, if Lena,
if you were being called mid
the same week
that the internet calls
Margot Robbie mid,
take that with a grain of salt.
Take that with a grain of salt.
Do you know what I mean?
Or a pillar of salt.
What did Locke take?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Was it a pillar?
Yeah, he took a whole pillar of salt.
He took a pillar.
Take that shit with a pillar
if you need to as well
while we're being biblical on the pod.
Yeah.
My point is, come on, man.
Margot Robbie mid a sex scene where Lena is taking an absolute.
He's thinking about his performance.
He's like, wait a minute.
If that's mid, what am I doing?
Wait, what, they called her mid or they called the whole thing by both of them mid?
The whole thing by both of them.
I don't watch porn, so maybe I'm off here.
Like, what are we expecting?
What are we expecting to happen?
Like, the dick went into the pussy, right?
This is how you know porn's too crazy.
What do we need here?
People are like, oh, she wasn't a sister of a brother that was a boss of someone.
You need porn to be too crazy now.
Academics responding.
That's a bunch of interest.
Bro, academics responding.
Watching live the porn and doing the play-by-play as if it was a boxing match was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my entire life.
It was so good.
She's getting dizzy.
The ref might have to come here and stop it.
Bro, can we play that?
It was fucking incredible.
Yeah, I'll pull it up.
In the meantime, though, I saw this fire ad in Brooklyn,
speaking of the Barbie movie.
That's the whole billboard.
Oh, yeah.
The whole block.
I know all about it.
You did?
A half ago.
Did you really?
There's some graffiti right to the right of that truck.
Yeah, why is it all white?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know anything about it.
It just seems like a smudge.
It has nothing to do with me.
Graffiti artists would do that.
This is how you know we're not the only ones, though.
That's it right there, bro.
I'm actually really happy to see that foot fetishing, which is disgusting to call it a fetish, it's the most normal thing in the
universe, has become popular.
I'm happy that all these other people
can now embrace what they've always
loved for so long. But they put it in like Bushwick,
Brooklyn. It's the same thing, pedophiles. Say again?
They say the same shit.
Say the same thing about what? With that movie that's out.
Wait, they like Barbie? No, the
other movie. Oh. Time of Freedom? Yeah, there we go.
They're like, ah, they're happy that it's being normalized.
The whole movie's about pedophiles being brought to justice.
He's too stupid.
No, no, no.
You have to play into the stupidity because...
People who like feet are stupid.
Let him try to get at us.
They put this fucking billboard out.
You almost tried to make some sense out of it.
Call him gay.
Call him gay.
Call him gay.
But you just got to go with the stupid.
Nah, I got to let him get it off.
And then eventually you get to land.
I got to let him get it off.
That's a good point, Al. Yeah, you're right. land. You know what I mean? That's a good point, Al.
Yeah, you're right.
Good point, Al.
Good point.
That's a great point.
Call him gay.
Fuck you.
He thought he had a good one.
I know he thought he had a good one.
I know the logic wasn't there.
He looked into the camera.
He goes, yeah, pedophiles do it the same way.
He pulled a gym from the office.
That's what he did. He thought he was a gym office That was me trying to think
How do I turn this shit
Nah but y'all weird for that
Y'all weird people
Nah y'all like it man
It's all good
Don't worry
Y'all gonna get there one day
It is what it is
Like Christianity
You fight now
Do you know what I mean
But they put it in Bushwick
They put it in Bushwick
You fight now But one day you're going to need us
you're going to need the good Christians
and Muslims too
I can't find his academics video
sorry DJ
I posted it on Twitter
anywho
so what do we think
how much do we think they make
I think that's really what it comes down to
that's what we need to know.
That's what the internet needs to know.
I think they charge too little.
I thought it was five bucks or some shit.
Yeah, I saw the website.
It's 75% off.
I was like, you can't get your wife fucked and then give a discount.
This is my wife.
We're raising the rates here.
It's Black Friday.
That was great.
Come on, give him a hug.
Was it Black Friday?
No, dude.
That's not the movie.
What the fuck, man?
I was about to say, that was like a fucking unbelievably...
I'm stupid.
I'm stupid.
I'm stupid.
It's already hilarious, but I thought it was as well,
and I was like, Jesus Christ, that's fucking genius.
The best movies come out on Thanksgiving, bro.
That's what it is.
When is Black Friday? The day after Thanksgiving. Oh, is movies come out on Thanksgiving, bro. That's what it is. When is Black Friday?
The day after Thanksgiving.
Oh, is it?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
We didn't...
Yeah, yeah.
Keep trying.
We don't.
But just for the lights.
Listen, listen.
I want to get back so bad.
I want to get back so bad.
I thought it was crazy.
It's July.
I'm not a Christian.
Me and my Muslim brothers do not celebrate.
Listen, I'm Orthodox.
I'm Orthodox.
It's not religious, yo.
It's a shopping day.
You know what I realized, though?
He's still trying.
You know what I realized?
What did I say that was that wrong?
I don't understand.
Black Friday is a day of sales after Thanksgiving.
Yeah, okay.
It's got nothing to do with religion.
But you're like so far off.
It's common knowledge, yo.
Oh, I don't know.
No, Black Friday does have to do with religion.
That's when Jesus died and then he rises three days later.
He's trying.
He's trying.
He's trying.
I didn't know.
I didn't know what you were saying.
I thought I might be wrong.
But it is on the Friday, right? It is a be wrong. But it is on the Friday, right?
It is a good Friday.
But it is on that Friday, right?
No, that's Easter.
It's four Easter.
It's three days before Easter, bro.
Is it Sunday, Saturday?
It's good Friday.
It's his point.
It's good Friday.
But it is the same Friday or no?
No.
That's what I got to do.
To get out of that stupid comment, just get stupid at it.
You got to kill Storm of the Storm.
I know. You got to kill Storm of the story I know you gotta
Kill Storm of the story
I'm gonna try that shit
I'm gonna try that shit
Why don't you figure
This out as crazy
I'm confused here
I'm gonna try that
Good Friday
Is when Jesus died
That's in April
That's a religious day
That's a good Friday
Oh Sunday
And there's no sale
And Easter Sunday
Is the day he came back
Three days later
This is religion
Now on a very different note
The day after Thanksgiving,
consumers... Oh, Thanksgiving got nothing to do with Jesus,
bro. Hey, did y'all know this?
This is crazy.
Hey, hey, did y'all know that
Easter and Thanksgiving are different?
Hey, and you know what's even crazier?
None of them are in July.
Hey, hey, hey.
Neither of those holidays
are now. I just want to let everybody know in case y'all were buying your turkey.
You're the most religious person ever, bro.
You think every holiday is for Jesus.
I respect that.
I'm Orthodox.
What did you think Fourth of July was?
I mean.
Jesus is independent.
No, that's when the four horsemen came.
Really?
Yeah, that's when the four horsemen came.
For real, four horsemen.
That was the gender reveal.
I didn't shit my pants.
My boobs are back.
That was wet.
That was wet.
You guys don't think that I did shit my pants.
Okay, okay.
So anyway, how much do we think that they made?
I think they cleared a million. I mean, that's okay, okay. So anyway, how much do we think that they made? I think they cleared a million.
I mean, I don't know.
That's it?
Yeah.
But their name is everywhere.
Not that much people.
Oh, okay, good.
They got brand equity.
I know.
Yeah.
We didn't make money, but we got brand equity.
I don't know.
I mean, as it stands right now, I mean, I purchased it because I'm not going to steal from the friend of the show.
We should donate, honestly.
But it is on Spank
Bang right now for free. That's the thing, yo.
How did you not? I mean, that shit was on Twitter
for free. But I'm assuming that's a commercial
and they're not really going after it to try to get people into Plug
Talk, get them into all that shit.
I think a lot of people watched it. I mean, I wonder how many views
this has right now. I bet you could tell.
I can't see that shit.
I mean, this is crazy. So if you guys don't know what Plug Talk is,
Plug Talk is basically a show that they do
where Lena and Adam will interview a porn star
and then they will fuck them.
Because what we want from porn actresses
is their life story.
And they should not want to jerk off a little.
Exactly.
That's like getting
a point on September 12th
what the fuck is that dude
look at that sad ass thing
yeah it gets a little dark
but I guess that is part of
of what they were doing
they had to make 10 million
I mean like
I don't know
no?
I don't think
I don't know man
that's a thing
how many people have to buy it
for 10 million
what's the math
how much was it
5 million dude
I know I should know this 20,000 would be 100,000 so that'd be 200,000 How many people have to buy it for $10 million? What's the math? How much was it? Five bucks?
I know.
I should know this.
$20,000 would be $100,000.
So that would be $200,000 at $5 a piece to get a million.
It's two million people.
Two million people would need to pay $5 each.
They did not.
Wow.
Now, I guess the idea is that you subscribe and you stay subscribed.
And you forget.
And you forget.
That's, I think, the... So maybe the idea idea is like, if it's such a small number,
I won't even go back and look at it.
If it was 25 bucks, immediately.
Canceling.
Yeah.
What do you guys think?
What do you guys think?
What do you guys think?
I think like a mil probably.
Not worth it.
Yeah, not worth it. yeah, not worth it.
Yeah, not worth it.
What dollar amount?
That's the thing.
Nobody wants that.
Listen, you're the only one who's not married,
so you can say what you would for your wife because you don't have a wife yet.
Fuck out of here.
Okay, what dollar amount?
We could ask Duff.
Oh, yeah, Duff.
How much for someone to turn your wife's guts into lasagna?
What is the price point?
And is it more or less than for you to be gay?
I'm not on this.
You guys do it.
You guys are married.
We have wives, bro.
We can't answer this question.
You got this.
Because we actually have wives.
We're not going to put a number on our wife's head.
But he did.
Yeah, but it's different. But he did. Yeah, he's wild. He's wild going to put a number on our wife's head. But he did. But it's different.
But he did.
He's wild.
It's Dove.
Dove, why is this a problem for you?
You have no one.
Jesus Christ, that shit made me
feel lonely.
Can you try that again? That was too mean.
Can you just try it a nicer way?
Why do you hate Dove?
We'll edit it and then try it a nicer way.
I just don't like that he's putting up this fight for this imaginary thing.
Why?
This imaginary thing is going to exist in...
Yeah, but then you say, hey, I didn't know you at the time.
It's obviously very different.
It's a much higher number.
I didn't know what love was.
Love is priceless.
I don't care about how much money.
Never.
That's a valid answer.
Who could have just answered it like that?
That's all you got to say.
Miles, you don't feel like you're that principled.
No, I didn't want this to turn on me.
Let's not do this.
No, Miles, what's the number?
Love is priceless, Dove.
Love is priceless.
No, no, you're just a copycat.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
What's your number?
I don't have a number that my wife would get rinsed out, bro.
Okay, how much for a guy to shit in your wife's mouth?
That's more logical.
Oh, I got a number for that.
What's the number?
What's the number?
Okay.
Wait a minute.
What were you going to say?
I was going to say, let's start small.
What's the number for a guy to kiss your wife?
With his dick in her pussy.
See, you're taking it too far.
You always jump too many steps.
Just a kiss.
Just an island boy's peck.
He takes off her dress now.
Come on, Miles.
No, none.
I wouldn't play.
I think you would go for a kiss.
Just a guy kissing.
Never.
What if she was an actress?
Never.
One billion dollars.
One billion dollars.
All right, we're talking.
We're talking.
See, there we go.
Okay, one billion dollars a kiss with tongue.
I mean, you got to get in there, girl. Like, you got to fuck. One billion dollars a kiss with tongue. I mean, you got to get in there, girl.
$1 billion kiss with tongue.
At least he's being real.
We're on the board.
We're on the board.
Have you talked about that?
Would you ever kiss a woman in a film?
He flipped it on you.
I cannot.
There you go, Doug.
That's crazy.
Sex scenes?
Yeah.
Yeah, he already has.
Intimacy coordinator on set?
Yeah.
Like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Ralph, is this too hard for you?
No.
What do you mean?
Like, would I do?
Yeah, why not?
I mean, it's going to piss my wife off, but.
Yeah, of course.
I mean, I'd piss her off, but she'd probably like it not to
be that. You know what I mean?
But if the girl's hot,
if she's an ugly fucking oaf,
then no, I'm going to say I have to respect my wife.
You know what I mean?
I think it was supposed to be fat over there.
I'm not going to do it a fat
ogre, right?
You know what I mean? What if you had to
or you couldn't do the movie
and it's with your hero
and you had to suck
a hot girl's toe?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
As part of the movie
or just...
What is this?
What is this?
As a part of the movie.
Yeah.
You got to do a Tarantino.
Are you threatening him
with a good time?
I'm going to say it.
What's happening?
Because maybe, I don't know.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd have to suck
a hot girl's toe?
Yeah, like liquor going down her foot. Like Tarantino. But I wouldn't do that. I'm not into that. I don't want to say it. I don't understand what's happening. Because maybe, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I'd have to suck a hot girl's toe? Yeah, like liquor going down her foot.
But I wouldn't do that.
I'm not into that.
I don't want to suck it.
I'll kiss it a lot.
But would you have to?
I'll kiss it a lot.
I'll just cover it in smooches and kisses.
I'll do that.
I'll cover it in smooches and kisses.
Would you give it a butterfly kiss?
No, I'll definitely cover it in smooches and kisses
and then rub my fingers in between the toes
where the webbing is.
Oh, God.
I'll do that.
Like, I'll definitely do that.
Webbing.
Don't say webbing.
I'll definitely gap it up and snap one time
with a foot. I'll definitely do that.
Cultural purposes only.
For a movie, obviously.
If you had to.
Yeah, but not if it's some orc bitch fuck.
I'm not going to do that.
That'd be disgusting.
So I wouldn't do that.
Oh,
you could just have your girl
be a stunt double
for the actress
and then everyone wins.
Yeah.
That's perfect.
Yeah,
everyone.
My wife is more private.
She's more private.
No,
no,
that'd be better.
That'd actually be better.
But I'm also not against
stunt doubles.
So if you want to get
some more stunt doubles
in on the action,
do you have an identical twit?
Yeah,
I don't know.
What would you go? Would you not do a kiss scene? Yeah, I don't know. What would you go?
Would you not do a kiss scene?
No, I would.
I did.
Yeah, Mark did.
I'm so glad you said it.
For like a fucking indie movie?
Wait, what?
Yeah.
Oh, that's cheating, dude.
Dude, this is my love interest.
Dude, if it's not,
now that's cheating.
It's my love interest, dude.
What a great loophole that is.
Oh my God.
Dave, I have to have
an after you're married?
No, this is, I was dating.
This was in college. Oh, I don't count. Oh my God. Dave, I have to have an after you're married? No, this is, I was dating. This was in college.
Oh, I don't count.
Oh, you're dating her?
I'm married to my wife, dude.
No, you're dating her or you guys are
boyfriend and girlfriend?
We were dating in college.
No, what does that mean?
I mean, we were always
in a relationship?
Yeah, we were in a relationship.
You're boyfriend and girlfriend?
Yes.
Okay, you're together?
In college, yes.
And you're cheating on her
for your dreams of fame
and success?
Dude, yeah.
I had to do it for the scene.
How do we know if the two characters even like each other?
Fucking Adam 21 right here.
This is crazy, bro.
This is crazy, bro.
Okay, was she hot?
Yeah.
Miles?
You defiling the sanctity of your...
Yeah.
I mean, my girl's way hotter, dude.
Like, not even close.
Like, way harder.
But this girl was, you know, she was fine.
But my girl's way harder.
Did you get bricky?
I felt a brick come in.
No, you didn't.
Like, a mild Lego brick.
It was a Lego brick, but it was a brick, dude.
Did you really get a brick?
No, I was so nervous.
How crazy was the scene?
It was terrifying.
Can I tell you something why it is cheating for sure?
No, it's not.
I did a...
Actually, no, you can't tell me.
I did an NYU movie- You didn't make no money for it.
Like a college movie or whatever.
And the girl was the director and she casted me.
And in the movie, I had to hook up with somebody else or something.
No, this story is falling apart.
Fuck, that was a dude I forgot.
Fuck, damn.
No, no, no, no.
I think you can tell them. No, no, I can I don't think you can tell. No, I can't.
I had to hook up with this girl in the movie,
but I'd walk in the door and pick her up and grab her,
and then we were kissing and put her on the fucking kitchen island and shit.
It was pretty intense.
And then the director reached out to me to suck my dick.
This fucking woman, bro.
This fucking woman.
They're just bragging now.
Dude, can you believe the fucking chutzpah?
He too.
He too, bro.
He too.
She saw me just get into the role
and throw this broad up on the fucking tiled island,
tonguing down,
and she got so fucking turned on,
she wanted that shit.
And then she sucked my dick, bro.
That's crazy, dude.
That's crazy.
And what'd you do?
You denied it?
I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
What is happening, dude?
What is happening?
This won't affect our professional relationship at all, will it?
And she was like...
Was she a good director?
Yeah, she was great.
Was she more like a key grip?
No, she was fine.
But yeah, I realize now after telling that story,
it has nothing to do with you cheating on your wife.
Yeah, it sounds like you were just bragging.
Yeah, I thought that she was also in the movie
and then I realized
it was a totally different girl
which made it even more
abusive to me.
Are you traumatized from it?
I'm a little.
That is abuse, I think.
I don't trust directors, dude.
That is abuse.
I don't trust them, bro.
I don't trust them.
That one guy
who gave me the role
in the movie
and then made me
fucking gay out of nowhere.
Oh, yeah.
That was the same one
he pinched your butt, right?
No, that was a different one. I've just been
abused. I'll be honest, thank God
I was old enough
to choose to be gay
in Hollywood
because if I was just a young
kid, 100% they're diddling kids in Hollywood.
100%.
Sound of Freedom in theaters this week.
If I just look at the
moments I've had in Hollywood
and the percentage of gay shit that's happened to me
that wasn't supposed to,
and I don't even want to act.
Imagine you wanted to.
Imagine you're like, I'm dedicating myself to it.
Bro, I got that sitcom,
and then the guy calls me,
and he goes, yo, you gotta be gay.
Or your character's gay.
And I was like, what?
Think about that, bro.
Was there any party that was like,
I'm just not gonna do it? No.
Immediately.
Not at all, dude. I've never seen him more
excited for a role in my life.
I remember this.
I don't wanna act, but the guy calls you
and tells you you gotta be gay. Yes.
Can I tell you what the guy said? I go, what?
And then he goes,
and I swear to God,
I've told you guys this before,
and he goes,
yeah, yeah,
but you're not.
He says that.
He goes, yeah,
but you're not.
And I go, what do you mean?
Like, he goes,
he doesn't even really know
he's gay.
And I'm like,
what are you talking about?
And then it's like,
yeah, you're not gonna see,
blah, blah, blah.
And then I walked in and there was some fucking crazy scene. And I was like, no, that talking about? And then it's like, yeah, you're not going to see, blah, blah, blah. And then I walked in and there was some fucking crazy scene.
And I was like, no, that's not happening.
There was one scene where like, yeah, basically we want you walking into the back room with four dudes.
And I was like, no.
I was like, no.
I was like, where's this in the script?
I was like, why are you fucking gaying this up for no reason?
Like, what's going on?
And then he's like, in the bathroom scene.
He's like, yeah, the guy did this. And I was like, nah? And then he's like, in the bathroom scene, he's like, yeah,
the guy did this.
And I was like, nah.
And you didn't do the scene with four dudes, right?
No, I said no.
What bothered you?
They cut away from it too quickly?
Or what was it that bothered you?
Give me a line at least.
Can I have a line?
Can I have a line?
It was just weird.
Like, I thought that they,
to be honest with you,
when I said it to them,
I was just like,
you're just making a character gay
for like diversity
because this shit takes place
back in a day where
white people didn't hang out with black people.
And you're like, just make me black.
Make me black.
And then it can be diverse.
Yes.
I don't have to be gay.
Come on, bro.
Please.
Make me black.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
I have bad mood.
They gave one guy a crutch, bro.
They gave one guy the palsy to make him more diverse but keep him white.
The junior? They gave him the Walt, dude? They gave him Walt. That's to make him more diverse but keep him white. The junior?
They gave him the Walt?
They gave him Walt!
That's crazy.
But not in the voice.
But they gave him crutches and he would walk into the writer's room.
And he fucked you?
Say what?
Is that the guy you had sex with?
No, no, no.
My guy was a street dude.
He liked it rough.
I really do not understand why you were so upset.
When you were saying they only want to hire gay people, they wouldn't hire a straight white male.
You remember when you were complaining about that?
Yeah.
Like, I understand.
Because they made it gay a week before we were filming.
That's the annoying thing, though.
They don't actually want gay people.
That's why that was stupid.
I was like, if you want to make a gay story, have a gay story, show what happens to gay people.
Tell them.
That's cool.
Have a gay person.
Cast them.
Cast a gay guy. Or don't cast a gay dude, but tell a gay story. Show what happens to gay people. Tell that. That's cool. That's awesome. Have a gay person. Cast them. Cast a gay guy.
There's some gay actors.
Or don't cast a gay dude, but tell a gay story.
I don't care.
Acting is acting.
I don't think you need the fucking cripple, retarded guy to play Walt Jr.
This is acting.
We can act these roles.
But at least let the story be from someone who's authentically gay or authentically fucking
trans or authentically black, whatever.
When you just sprinkle that shit on top, that's when you're just abusing it.
You're using it to pacify that people are saying Hollywood's not diverse, and it still
ain't.
You know?
I mean, I play that role way better than any gay guy could.
We know that for a fact.
We know that for a fact.
Very method.
Yeah.
You know?
Damn.
All I'm trying to say is if that happened to me, imagine what's happened to the children's.
Yes.
To the kids.
Think about the children's, bro.
You don't think that, what's his name, Macaulay Culkin?
Oh, Miles, come on, bro.
I just saw Miles smell his armpit.
God damn it, dude.
So you know that shit is crazy.
Come on, bro.
You know that shit is crazy.
Don't put this on me, bro.
If you smell some shit, were you the only one around?
I thought Mark was stinking it up over here.
How far am I? What's up, you weak dick one around? I thought Mark was stinking it up over here. I'm for mine.
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Yo, you don't think Macaauley got diddled it up?
What?
People act like it's Michael Jackson's the only one that did it.
He was destroyed by Hollywood, not Michael Jackson.
Or both.
Or both.
But the fact that there is no onus on Hollywood at all.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's all on the dead guy.
Yeah.
Oh, he's not here, so we don't know what happened. all. Yeah. Yeah, it's all on the dead guy. Yeah. Oh, he's not here,
so we don't know what happened.
Exactly.
I mean, I was talking to you
about this on the phone,
but, like,
I've spoken to directors,
and they've said this
about great actors.
They're like, they're boring.
I go, what do you mean?
Like, I've heard people say this
about, like, some of the most
famous fucking actors.
They're like, yeah, there's boring.
There's nothing inside.
And I go, what do you mean?
The director's saying this.
He goes, they go,
that's the brilliance.
They can fill themselves up with anything, but they're really empty. Like, when you go out to dinner with mean? Director's saying this. He goes, that's the brilliance. They can fill themselves up with anything.
But they're really empty.
Like when you go out to dinner with them, they're just boring.
But they can put whatever they want in there and then become that.
And it is like a miracle watching them do it.
And I was thinking, I was like, yo, I wonder if this is why Hollywood actors,
And I was like, yo, I wonder if this is why Hollywood actors, when they get political, become these stereotypes of political people.
Because they're just filling themselves.
Yeah, they're filling themselves with it.
And you see it on both sides, right? You see like the super left-wing people, they just become these archetypes of what a liberal person is.
Saying all the same, what is it, sentences, saying all the same beliefs, etc.
They're just regurgitating the same thing.
And then when they're on the right, they do the exact same thing.
They are just playing that role.
And I thought, okay, that's as an adult, that's what you do.
And maybe as an adult, you can handle some of these more difficult roles.
But if you're a kid and you're inserting these roles into this kind of
empty vessel, and that's what makes this young kid a really
good actor. Informative years.
You're on fucking Law & Order playing this
kid that was raped. Hey, imagine what it's like
being fucking raped and you're seven years old.
That's criminal to do.
And what does that,
what are the effects of that on a kid's psyche?
Of course they're all fucked up.
Of course they're all wonky. Of course they're fucking on drugs or suicidal and shit when they get older. What about the effects of that on a kid's psyche? Like, of course they're all fucked up. Of course they're all wonky.
Of course they're fucking on drugs or, like, suicidal and shit when they get older.
What about the kids who play, like, Disney characters?
Like, Disney's very protective of that brand.
You're not going to be doing any wild shit whatsoever.
I mean, yeah, Disney's different, but, like, Dan Schneider, remember that whole shit?
He was a fucking weirdo.
Yeah, but then he was with Nickelodeon, so it was different.
Like, there's all this, like, weird shit. There are these videos he had Ariana Grande doing that are, like, fucking weirdo. Yeah, but then he was with Nickelodeon, so it was different. Like, there's all this, like, weird shit.
There are these videos he had Ariana Grande doing that are, like, fucking weird.
Yeah.
Was she Nickelodeon or?
She was Nickelodeon.
Nickelodeon, yeah.
Yeah.
But it's, like, weird shit.
And I'm, like, maybe it, I don't know where it happens, but if it happens with Nickelodeon, I'm, like, that's a big brand.
And he was, like, one of the main guys there.
And, like, there's weird stuff in the movies.
And then there's people off that talked about it.
I think the girl from iCarly talked about it.
I don't want to put it on her if she didn't.
But yeah, just creepy, insane shit with the kids.
That's the thing.
We say it, and I'm obviously joking around, but in my very limited experience in TV or filmmaking,
I was put in multiple situations, thrown at me, not really sure, that were kind of weird.
And I'm an adult, so I don't give a fuck.
And it's like, yeah, I do want to be in this movie.
And I think that's what you're supposed to do in a career.
I want to be in this TV show, that whatever.
And I think that's what you're going to do, but I don't really need it that much.
But imagine you're like, the only way I'll be able to make it,
I'm out here, I'm sleeping in my car, is if I get on this show.
And then they ask you to do a little bit of a weird thing, which we know for a fact
that they do, because they did it to me.
And it's not, I'm not like some victim.
I don't give a fuck. Like, it was, yeah, okay, the character
gay, whatever, I don't care, I'll do it.
But imagine acting that out of a kid, or
these other people. They're doing it in a fucking heartbeat.
And for the kids, kids think about this, their
parents are probably encouraging them to do it.
The whole, not even just in that moment.
All the way up through the auditions and everything, oh, we got to get this.
This will be so great.
So when you're in that moment, even if the parents aren't there to say, hey, go do it, which they probably would be, you're like, well, they put a lot of pressure on me to get this opportunity.
I can't fuck it up.
You're saying parents, like I think a lot of these kids are probably coming from like single parent households.
100%. That's from the, the scandal in Boston with all the priests that were fucking all the kids.
They would like selectively go for kids that didn't have like a dad.
Yep.
And they had a mom that was working a lot and that they were like,
Hey,
just be around the church.
You can be alt aboard.
We'll give you structure.
It's even more insidious because they're going after the most vulnerable kids.
Yep.
And I think that's what's happening with the church example.
I'm not even just saying this pick on you,
God,
you're giving them God, like the most most powerful the most salvation giving thing on earth
and then you're just fucking ruining them like that yeah it's crazy oh it's so fucked and it's
happening with these people where it's like yo you can set your family up for life your mom works so
hard but what if she didn't have to work yeah all you got to do is just hang out with me and not
telling you yeah probably kitty fucking still going on in the church? Or did they like, stop?
I mean, they try to stop it,
but like, evil people
try to get into it. I mean, you'll hear little things.
I just feel like there would be more eyes on it now.
Oh, there are. It's harder.
Yeah. I'm sure it's much harder.
I think parents are much more like, observant
with their kids. Like, my mom specifically was like, you can't be
an altar boy. Oh, seriously?
Oh, wow. And like, we were so involved with the church, but she was like, you can't be an altar boy. Oh, seriously? Oh, wow. And we were so involved
with the church, but she was like, yeah, no.
So I think more parents are being
observed. But yeah,
Boy Scouts are still getting diddled. Students
are still getting diddled by the teachers.
I mean, yeah, horrible people exist
in all avenues of life. And they're going to find positions
of power to fucking exploit. Yes.
Especially if those positions of power are...
I don't want to say it's easy to be a priest,
but like it's harder to run Amazon.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Or it's harder to become the top exec for Pixar
or something like that.
You get God's authority and you can probably get
some access and power within like three, four years? Yeah. Something like that? And you're inf authority and you can probably get some access and power
within like three, four years, something like that.
And you're infallible.
No one's really gonna come looking for you.
Maybe now it's different.
And you're already not following the rules,
so the rules don't really bother you that much.
Most people don't want to be a priest
because they're like, I don't get no pussy.
I gotta sacrifice all these things.
I gotta do, wow, that's a lot to give up.
But if you know that you're going into it
for nefarious reasons, right?
You're like, well, I'm not going to give up that other shit anyway.
Yeah.
I will say it actually probably, I think it's gone down, at least personally,
because, like, when I was going to Bible study a lot more in high school,
I would hang out with priests.
I would hang out with Father Ben, and I would do, like, a confession with him,
and he'd be like, let's just, like, walk around the church or whatever.
Like, let's just be outside.
Because he was like, it's just a weird dynamic.
It's like we're alone privately.
I was, like, 17 at the time. But he's like, it just a weird dynamic. It's like we're alone privately. I was like 17 at the time.
But he's like it just isn't good for
the church. Optically,
I just would be more comfortable if we're just out in public.
And I just think more priests
are doing that. I think he thought you wanted to
fuck. Yeah, I know.
How do I give off that vibe?
How do I give off that vibe?
Am I flirty?
I'm not flirty.
You get close to me.
Now he's too curious.
He's like,
why is this motherfucker
asking me all these questions?
I'm not that flirty, bro.
Why are you still
in Bible study 17?
One-on-one tutoring?
I'm studying.
I'm studying.
So you play baseball,
firebender?
What's that like?
You're a really fast pitcher?
I'd like to be your catcher.
I'm just saying, dude.
I wouldn't go for him.
I don't think I would.
I don't know.
Did you try to be a Nickelodeon kid?
No, God, no.
No?
Oh, good.
Because I feel like everybody in Orlando tries to.
His mom wouldn't let that shit happen.
Oh, wants to be part of the Mickey Mouse club and shit?
There's another perfect example where, like, when there is an industry that is so dominant in the town that you live in,
it's no different than, like, Alabama, Tuscaloosa with like football, right?
Like when one industry dominates the city, it's very hard not to get caught up in that
and not to be like, yeah, I would like to be on Disney.
I would like to be in the movies.
Or when you're in LA growing up, you're like, I would like to be part of this industry because
the whole hierarchy and power structure of the people that live in this city is driven toward this one thing.
The most important people are in that industry, so that must be the most important thing.
And I don't think that Hollywood is this organization to fuck children or drink their blood or whatever the conspiracy theorists think. think but i do think a hundred percent that some horrendous stuff is happening when people have
tons of power and there are people that are desperate around those people with power
because the abuse is just so easy at that point right like i was rereading the godfather and then
there's a scene with the producer and in the book i think they left out of the movie but in the book the producer that they put they
cut the head off whatever leaving his but he is like they show like a girl coming in they talk
about a girl going into his office and then walking out and like walking differently and then the the
mafia guys like oh that's despicable infant them whatever the fuck it time what they're talking
about in the 60s is happening so they're talking about in a book in the 60s they're still talking about it now it's happened it's not like just some hollywood're talking about it in the 60s, this is happening. So they're talking about it in a book in the 60s,
they're still talking about it now.
It's happened.
It's not like just some
Hollywood trope
that was in the background
for 50 years.
Are you going to see
The Sound of Freedom?
Oh,
uh,
no.
I'm not against it,
but.
That's something you can wait
to come to a stream of.
Yeah,
like I'll see it
when it's streaming. Yeah, like. I don't know if that's IMAX. You know what I mean? Yeah, but that's something you wait to come to a stream yeah like I'll see you in a stream
I don't know if that's IMAX
you know what I mean
I don't know if you need to be IMAX
I can smell the rape this is awesome
it's on TV I got nothing else to do
it's already on let's just sit here and see if it's good
yeah
it's making money but apparently people are like
that's the thing if you get people
it's got good reviews though the rotten tomatoes yeah but people are like buying four tickets and then just giving them away that's the thing. If you get people. It's got good reviews, though, the Rotten Tomatoes and shit.
Yeah, yeah, but people are buying four tickets and then just giving them away.
That's part of their marketing campaign.
Hollywood doesn't want this movie to succeed, so you have to make it succeed, which is brilliant.
I mean, these guys are just fucking smart.
Oh, they politicized the movie in a great way.
Yeah.
And all the political figures are rewarding that politicization of it.
Yeah, yeah.
Because it all feeds into their narrative, too.
Exactly, yeah.
If you give people a boogeyman and make them buy something,
I mean, they'll buy whatever the fuck.
Also, if you can be heroic.
Like, you're heroic for seeing this movie
and continuing to promote it.
And it's the perfect movie
because not only is it against left-wing ideals,
it's also about pedophilia.
Why is it against left-wing ideals?
I don't know.
The left doesn't want this movie to see, oh, because Jim Caviezel is a polarizing guy.
And I think the director has QAnon, has espoused QAnon beliefs.
I think the criticism of the movie could come from the fact that the girl that it's based on, and again, who knows?
I think Vice wrote an article about this or something.
on, and again, who knows?
I think Vice wrote an article about this or something.
There's no from
this reporter,
and you know how biased fucking Vice is,
but from this reporter
they're saying that there was really no connection
at least in the case
or from the girl mentioned in the case
between her and
Tom Ballard's group.
Whereas in the movie,
it seems as if he is the one who frees her.
Where the girl, I guess, was liberated here in New York.
And when she was a little bit older
and that kind of stuff.
Now that's not to say that a movie about sex trafficking
shouldn't be made and it can't bring awareness.
But maybe when you go based on a true story
and there's a
lot of separation between the true story, you know, you're creating an opportunity for people
to be critical. Yeah. That's not to say that it's a justifiable criticism, but I'm sure in his
position, he's like, well, we just want to shine light in the best way possible to this horrific
thing that happens. So we might've changed some some details but the point is that people know that
this kind of stuff happens all the time we have to put a stop to it you know whereas the detractors
are going to say oh you lied about all this shit to sensationalize it so you can look more like a
hero and it's just it's a it's a weird position to be anti a movie shining a light on
child sex trafficking
I don't know if you ever want to play that position
I think what they're afraid of is
let's say they're assuming this guy has QAnon
beliefs and is a QAnon guy
conspiracy theorist
this lends credence to that conspiracy theory
so even if this is okay there will be more
QAnon conspiracy theory movies
made because this is successful like a gateway drug I guess but will be more QAnon conspiracy theory movies made because this is successful.
Yeah, I guess.
Like a gateway drug?
I guess, but even beyond QAnon, if you're making conspiracy theory movies, once you
get to lizard people, I think we're all gonna be like, no, I'm not doing it.
I'm not watching this.
That'd be like saying Me Too is a gateway to Hollywood anti-Semitic lizard people
conspiracies.
Like, Hollywood is controlled by a group of people-
Make that connection, cuz I like it.
I'm just saying, Hollywood's controlled by a group of people. Make that connection because I like it. I'm just saying, oh, Hollywood's controlled by a group of people
that are trying to exploit the people that are within it,
specifically women, to degrade them
in order to give them roles and that they're not actually trying
to create the best arc. And then could
that lead someone to be like, oh, Hollywood is full of
who runs Hollywood? Oh, is it Jews that run
Hollywood? Oh, are they evil?
Yes, you're saying it's slippery slope shit, which I agree with.
I just don't think you could say a movie
about child sex trafficking could lead...
Say the thing about
the star, Caviezel, how he kind of...
Yeah, apparently, I'd have to look up his exact quote,
but apparently he was at a
talk or a conference, it was like a Comic-Con
type thing, and
he was mentioning that the director
couldn't be there because he was
off... He was basically
off fighting the good fight, trying to like stop pedophiles, something like that.
And they're trying to stop the pedophiles from using adrenochrome, which adrenochrome is like a big like buzzword within like the conspiracy sex trafficking community.
That they're basically like terrifying children and trying to like drink their blood in order to like get some type of positive effect from it.
So he like used that word specifically, which I think is like now feeding into the people
that are interested in that.
And is that the only thing
that he said?
He said some kind of
kooky shit.
He's had a history
of some,
yeah.
Yeah,
he's had some things,
but I think specifically
related to the movie
was that,
that quote.
So,
he did the movie with?
He did Passion of the Christ.
Passion of the Christ.
He's Jesus,
apparently.
Yeah,
he is Jesus.
That's crazy.
I didn't see it.
JC.
Oh,
you didn't see it?
He did Passion of the Christ.
I saw that with Dove. Yeah, when we were in Santa Barbara, I I didn't see it. J.C. Oh, you didn't see it? Did he pass on the cross? I saw that with Dove.
Yeah, when we were
in Santa Barbara
I was crying,
bawling crying
at the end of the movie.
And what did Dove do?
He slipped out of there
real quick.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He felt a little guilty.
I'm surprised.
Why didn't you see that?
I was young when it came out.
I was young when it came out
and then I just never
got around to it.
It's not Catholic.
It's not Catholic.
Actually, no,
I think it is super Catholic.
I didn't realize that the Catholics were real, just like a ph to it. It's not Catholic? It's not Catholic. Actually, no, I think it is super Catholic. I didn't realize that
the Catholics were real, just like a phony
religion. Like, it was just like a phony
non-church. I think this is going to be fun.
It's like a phony nonsense version of Christianity.
Please explain. Well, I mean,
the real Christians are the Orthodox Christians, right?
Okay, that makes sense. Why not? Orthodox,
it just says it in the name, you know what I mean?
Well, the first church,
the first church built
by the Roman Empire
was...
Do you know?
Oh, my God.
Are you serious?
Like, that's really what you know?
The name of the church?
The city where it was built?
Chad, look, looks around, bro.
Sound of Freedom out this weekend.
He just won off nothing.
No, I'm asking you a question.
Do you guys know which one it was?
No, are you asking?
Not you guys don't know, but he should know.
This is a person who's familiar with religion and familiar with his God.
You should know the first church built by the empire that spread the religion.
They don't get that.
They got nothing.
That's all right.
I'm back on.
I'm back on.
That's what I'm saying.
You would think you would know the first church built by the empire that spread the religion around the religion. They don't get that. They got nothing. I'm back on. I'm back on. That's what I'm saying. You would think you would know the first church built
by the empire
that spread the religion around the world.
What is it?
Was that the first church that was built
after Christ died?
No, of course not, but those weren't really
churches that were built. They were doing it in caves
and shit. They were hiding. It's a collection of people, bro.
100%. 100%.
When it becomes valid, when it becomes valid, when it becomes real,
when it becomes official by my man Constantine,
where was it?
Obviously, Constantinople, Hagia Sophia,
the first church, Orthodox church.
Became Orthodox after the schism.
No.
Yes.
You guys became Catholic after the schism.
They were always Orthodox. That's what they would say. Ooh! became Catholic after the schism. They were always Orthodox.
That's what they would say.
Ooh.
That's what they would say.
Ooh.
They became Orthodox.
Ooh.
You know what falls apart almost immediately?
What?
That Western part of the Roman Empire, that Catholic part.
Ooh.
You know what stuck around for another thousand years?
Mm.
Mm.
That Orthodox Christianity. You know what's still around that area thousand years? That Orthodox Christianity.
You know what's still around that area right now?
That Orthodox Christianity.
Didn't change their dates.
Didn't move that shit around.
And who runs Constantinople, bro?
Who runs it?
God.
Muslims.
God.
Got taken over by Muslims, bro.
Honestly?
Look at your Western era.
Real recognize real.
They didn't take over Rome.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm saying Orthodox gave in to the Muslims,
bro. They thought, yo, you guys are better. They looked at the Muslims
and they said, you guys have the supreme faith. Whereas the
Roman Catholics in the West, they
held it on, dude.
I think what the Catholics did
brilliantly is they
I think that they adapted
the religion in a brilliant way.
And because of that, it might not be as authentic.
But it might be more palatable for mass consumptions.
I'm going to ask.
There's something like religious dates and shit.
I don't know enough to say.
But there's like, the biggest difference are religious dates.
No, that is true.
Like Vatican II diluted
a lot of Catholic teaching.
It had to be in Latin. The priest
would be facing the altar, and then all of a sudden the priest
turned around, it became in English. A lot of
things got diluted. So even die-hard Catholics
are probably more Orthodox than
people would think.
I think in the Christian...
I mean, I'm obviously busting balls to rile up Mark
and Catholics, but just because I learned one new thing and I like I mean, I'm obviously busting balls to rile up Mark and Catholics,
but just because I learned one new thing and I like to act like I know shit.
Just put another finger down.
Okay.
That won't work.
But like, for example, I think in the Christian Orthodox Church, only bishops need to be celibate.
I think everybody else can have like a wife, even if you're like part of the church.
That's a good rule.
Y'all should adopt that one.
Well, I think they could. I think you guys flipped that
somewhat recently. What?
The fact that the priests need to be
celibate. That wasn't always that case.
Maybe. I don't know exactly when they got changed.
I think that was changed later on.
Now it is, but I think
that wasn't from the beginning.
But what the Pope says is essentially law for Catholics, right?
For Catholics. Now that Francis
is kind of pro-gay, are y'all pro-gay?
Whatever he's...
Now it depends.
The Pope has to speak ex-cathedra.
That's like church teaching. So he has to
speak basically with all confirmation
of the bishops for it to be
church doctrine. And that's only happened like four times
in the past 150 years.
So again, to build a path unanimously.
Yeah, basically. Whereas the priests could just be saying wild shit.
There's been popes that like
people said that like were women.
There's been popes that like
had wives and concubines and shit.
So like there's been popes
that have done crazy stuff.
But like the pope will basically
lead the church,
but it has to be with
all the bishops approved.
Especially back in the day,
being the pope was a political figure.
You were like the head of
like the Vatican states.
So you were also like an army general
you had the swiss guard on your side yeah like they was fucking people up and shit yeah and it
was like political moves too like i think the have you guys heard of the medici family yeah i've heard
i've heard about there was like a prominent family in florence during the renaissance yeah yeah they
were like big money ran all the art right rockefellers of of yeah and bankers too but uh
but they but yeah they commissioned all that beautiful art
and everything that you see and um but they got some medicis as popes like that was like full
infiltration of a dynastic family catholics were the first jews bro that's what it is did people
like oh jews run the world it's like no no catholics were the first ones that were secretly
running everything behind the scenes so so that's the other thing that's kind of fire. It's like, we don't give Catholics enough credit for that.
We need that, bro.
We don't give them enough credit for that.
Jews bit our whole flow, bro.
Jews bit the whole flow.
They do.
Catholics ranch.
Like- Secretly, behind the scenes.
So did they figure out- So what happened?
Y'all fell off?
We fell off, bro.
Damn.
God damn.
Did they fall off or was it like, so I'm looking at this shit like, I guess there's still empires and the British have an empire, but it was more colonial in the empire.
It was like, hey, we're just going to go over there and I guess take your shit.
I don't know exactly how empires were in the Ottoman age or the Roman age.
In my understanding, it was, you know, you're part of us and we're going to run shit over here too.
And we're going to have our people over here as well.
I don't know exactly.
Whereas I wonder if the Catholic Church and other churches
did like a religious, have like a religious empire
and a religious colonization, right?
Where it's like, we don't need to go there and run shit
and figure out your laws and everything.
We'll be your God, and you'll do everything that we say
because we are God.
And your king will need to fuck with us because if he don't fuck with us, then we'll be your God, and you'll do everything that we say because we're God. And your king will need
to fuck with us, because if he don't fuck with us,
then we'll turn his people against...
There was an easier way
to rule the world. Yeah, you need theocracies before
the internet.
Because you need some type of overarching
omniscient power
to keep people in check. And it used
to be the monarchies. Yeah, but
even the monarchies, a lot of them ran religiously, right?
Because they realized
they would work together.
They would work in tandem.
And then King Henry
was the one that broke off
and was like,
nah, I'm starting my own church.
Because these motherfuckers
weren't letting me
divorce these bitches.
Yeah, exactly.
Thomas More,
who I'm named after.
Oh, really?
He was the one that was like,
nah, you can't do it.
And he got beheaded for it.
Yeah, that's my memory.
But anyway, yeah,
but it's like,
you need theocracy
in order to control people because you can't reach all these far away countries. Yeah, you need my moment. But anyway, yeah, but it's like they, you need theocracy in order to like control people
because you can't reach all these like far away countries.
Yeah, you need the fear of God.
That's why they call it the opiate of the masses.
And then you need the internet.
And then once the internet comes around, people are more interconnected.
You have like radio and shit like that.
You have ways to connect and sort of surveil people and keep people in check in large distances.
So now we can get rid of.
Theocracy is less important, separate churches.
Now you just need pockets.
Theocracy is a problem.
That's why you look at places
like China
where they squash religion.
They're like,
we don't need anybody
beefing with us.
We don't need you thinking
you're going to get
your salvation from them.
You get it from here.
So now, interesting,
that's why you can see
the squashing of religion
right now probably
because it's like,
hey, you're getting in the way.
Stop making these people
do what you say when we might need them to do some shit.
But yeah, what an interesting time.
And I wonder if maybe the Catholic Church did that better than anybody else where they were like, okay, we have so much power and so much control.
We have to make sure that we don't abuse it to the point where the monarchies want to remove us from the power. So we have to work
with them, but at the same time that we have to bestow the beauty of, you know, loving God and,
and, and Jesus in their lives. And they need to get joy from this and continue to do it. It can't
just be fear or else the next religion that's cool will come around and then people will jump
on that one. It's like a really interesting, God, I'd love to read something about how they're politically navigating this new world.
Like how the popes are sitting down with their cardinals and going, okay, here we go.
We're spreading it.
But we're doing it not by force necessarily, like back in the Crusades, but by hope.
Like I'm trying to think.
Yeah, hope is their dope. That's the drug. Hope is their dope. Just give them all hope. Like I'm trying to think. Yeah, hope is their dope.
Yeah, that's the drug.
We just give you hope.
Hope is their dope.
Just give them all hope.
Here in America,
there's like a group
within the conservative party
that they're like,
they're outwardly saying,
hey, we're Christian conservatives,
where it's like they're tying now
like their political views
with Christ,
like the teaching of the Christ.
But it's like now they're outwardly saying,
before it needed to be like separation of church and state,
now they're like, no, no, no, all the things we're going to pass
is in conjunction with our
religious beliefs, and that shit is
dangerous. And it's supposed to be separation of church and
state in our country,
but you know what's really interesting is
the conservatives
that don't subscribe to the religious
beliefs are really just what is a
libertarians yeah where it's like they're just the fiscal conservatives and
it's just interesting to see these two groups of conservatism rising in prominence where it's like
you're just seeing what people value in their conservative values.
It's like, listen, we want low taxes and God.
We want low taxes, I don't care about God.
We want low taxes.
We want no government interference.
But it's interesting to see them start to separate.
And I think they're less powerful when they're separate.
Yeah, of course.
Isn't that interesting?
It's dividing the party.
Yeah. Because before they were all It's dividing the party. Yeah.
Because before they were all kind of on the same page.
And then a lot of people, I think, I think a lot of liberals are finding their way to
being conservative, but also don't want to, they're like, well, I want to pay less.
Exactly.
We said, well, I'm liberal.
I want gay people to get married.
I want you to have all your rights, but like, fuck taxes.
And so, and then also they're seeing this kind of liberal thing where it's like, oh,
if you don't agree with everything we agree with,
then you're not us.
So they're like, all right, cool.
I'm a conservative, but I'm not that.
I'm not that Christian conservative.
That's weird.
Y'all have that.
So I think maybe that's why libertarianism is rising.
I think they're mainly like coming from the left.
What's the democratic version of that?
Or the liberal version of that?
I feel like we don't have a movement for the Democrats that is branded.
Right now, the liberals are, if you are not completely with us, you are not us.
I think there's-
That's the loudest voice.
I would say-
Just like moderate liberals.
I would say liberalism and then leftism would be the distinction.
Oh, interesting.
Like liberalism basically meaning you are-
I'm tolerant. Leftism is meaning you are... I'm tolerant.
Leftism is I'm intolerant of intolerance.
Yeah.
I think it's the other way.
Leftism would be like I'm on for social reform.
We got to get universal health care.
We got to help people out,
get housing for everyone.
But yeah, if you say,
if you call something retarded,
you're not a bad person
and i and like there's a lot of comedians that identify as like leftist whereas like liberal
and this again this is like a debated definition but liberal would be like
hey we need like yes queen we need more like diversity in hollywood we need all this stuff
i think those are the opposite yeah i think those are the exact opposite. A leftist is the extreme version of a liberal.
And liberal is like, yeah, I just vote Democrat.
I think gay people should be able to get married.
I don't care if you're a drag queen or whatever.
The moderate liberals.
Like moderate liberals are kind of what you're describing.
Anytime you put isst at the end, it's kind of extreme.
To me.
Fascist, racist, leftist.
But we don't have a thing for liberals
where they brand themselves yeah i am i am a leftist or whatever i don't hear that term like
i hear christian conservative which is on the conservative southern democrat correct dixie
crats oh yeah that's probably a similar thing 80s i think reagan was a southern democrat before he
was a republican i might be wrong but i know 70s 70s, sorry. He was a Hollywood fucking Democrat until he ran.
But I think there was a term, Southern Democrat, that was sort of the more right of left.
I don't know if Reagan was ever a Democrat.
Was he?
He was.
Interesting.
But was that a function of just being in Hollywood?
I don't know.
Like being an actor?
I think we Piker would
swirling around
different definitions
and left.
Democrat and Republican
have changed polls
so many times
in history.
It's just.
I think Hasan Piker
would consider himself
a leftist
in my understanding.
Yeah,
and I would say
he's pretty extreme
in his.
leftist,
yeah.
But mostly on like
financial
and like fiscal policies.
And also like
I would say racial and gender policies.
I don't think he's, like, so, like, socially radical on those ideas.
Like, I think he would come on here and, like, joke with us.
I think he would joke, yeah.
But I also think that he, like, believes very strongly about all those things.
And there's no wiggle room on his beliefs whatsoever.
Yeah, maybe. Yeah. about all those things and there's no wiggle room on his beliefs whatsoever yeah maybe yeah i'm trying to think of like sam cedar or something like would consider themselves like a leftist i don't know destiny might be a leftist that's the guy that went on
pbd's podcast right sam yeah i think so yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and so i might that's
the way i understand it like i it. I don't think that
Hassan would be tolerant
of beliefs that
even if they're like, for example, someone's religious beliefs
if he found them intolerant.
And that's
I think leftist.
So if there were some Muslim beliefs or there's some Christian
beliefs that went against
some of his leftist beliefs, I think he'd be like,
yeah, you got to change that. Your religion is antiquated.
It's some goofy shit you believe in.
You got to get that the fuck out of here.
Where I think a liberal,
if they're actually being a liberal,
they'd be like, yeah, I don't agree with you,
but I'm open to your different lifestyle
and I have to accept you for that.
I think conservatives,
it might've ended up backfiring,
but for a long time,
they could just tie themselves to religion
and they get a lot of votes that way and swing some elections.
And now I think it's becoming divided to the point that it might fracture the party.
I don't know.
I mean, I'm talking out of my ass to a degree, but it just seems like libertarian and Christian conservatives are like, these are different things now.
Yeah.
Very different things.
Yeah.
Do you want to talk about this Tamagotchi girlfriend trend?
Yeah.
What is this?
This is bizarre.
It's very strange.
It, like, blew up over the weekend.
Yeah.
Please explain.
So, basically, I got to figure out who exactly started it.
I'm pulling up a video here.
So, basically, these girls will go on live, and people will pay to send them emojis,
and then they're reacting as if they are an NPC, like a non-playable character. They're just like, we need sound for it. Yeah.
Yes. I've seen this.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Meow, meow. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes.
Meow, meow.
There's a brick.
Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, thank you, baby.
So it's like
sort of
like annexing like anime culture
acting as an NPC, people giving them
stuff and then them reacting depending on what the
thing that's given to them is.
Kids, go outside, bro.
It's fucking weird to get money.
Shouts to the girls, though,
because they don't get naked.
They don't do anything that's really... You can tell your kids this and it's fucking weird,
but you can be like, this girl, I hooked it up,
she made $125,000.
How sad would you be if your mom had a video of that?
I thought about this, though.
Like, yes, a porn is way worse, or an audience is way worse.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, like, mom, really?
You was doing this?
I thought about this, though.
I thought of, maybe it's just like an acting role.
Like, I went to a haunted house one time, and I remember thinking, these guys are so
into playing these fucking zombies because they want to act that badly, and they're getting
paid, like, $12 an hour. And they, like, act like zombies. That I respect more that badly. And they're getting paid like $12 an hour.
And they like act like zombies.
That I respect more though.
I know, but why?
This is weirder, but they're making 125.
This girl's making 500,000 apparently.
And then a kid in a fucking haunted house in New York City
is making $13 an hour to put on makeup,
walk all slow,
sliding their fucking left foot eight hours a day.
$13 an hour,
$500,000 a year.
I guess you got a point.
There's something like
implicitly sexual about this
that is unsettling to me.
It's unsettling.
It's fucking weird.
That's my only delineation
for that example.
It's fucking weird.
What's sexual about this?
It just,
people see it as sexual.
I think it's just
you're looking at the girl.
The way y'all look at feet
is the way I look at this,
for sure.
I don't get it.
No, I think it's just the girl that makes it sexual.
If this was a guy doing this, it wouldn't be sexual.
It's not weird, Greg.
That's weird, yo.
Bro, hot dog, yum.
You can't tell it's not like like, kind of sexual, dude.
I don't get it, bro.
I don't get it.
Yeah, I get it.
The people are weird, yo.
People giving money...
It's not sexual, too?
No.
That's weirder than feet.
It's not even a question, if you're into that.
The girl on it, probably, but donating money,
that is weird as fuck, yo.
That's how I look at y'all, niggas.
Yeah, but you know this is weird.
No, I put it on the scene.
You out of your mind.
I'm putting that on the scene.
Liking feet and paying for that? Why are all these are getting pedicures if people don't like feet
Yeah, but you're not not paying what feet is crazy
That's what I'm saying pay for feet and paying for this the same shit takes the thrill out of it Like let me go on Instagram and zoom in
I do do that, bro.
There's a lot of girls that they got, they're all burka'd up on their feet.
Yeah, they hide the dogs.
And it's just like, bruh.
Give the people what they want.
You're a Western woman covering your whole feet like that.
Oppressed.
Exactly.
How dare you let a man tell you to keep your fucking toes covered?
Why would you let a man oppress you like that?
Take it off.
Be a liberated woman.
It's July.
Get them fucking toes out there.
Flex them up if you need to.
Free the dogs, bro.
Let's go.
Real talk.
You got that dog in you.
Yeah, you do, and you need to let them out.
Harr.
Yum, yum, yum. You need to let them out. Har! Yum, yum, yum.
You need to let them out.
Hot dog.
Yum, yum, yum.
Hot dog.
No, I mean, paying, yeah, this is ridiculous.
I was talking to Yate about this.
He was like, how different is this than, like, the guy that would dress up all gold and stand in, like, Times Square or whatever?
Oh, what a great analogy.
Like, how different?
Like, it requires, like, not really any talent.
But we pay them for being still.
Yeah. Like, that is the only reason we pay them. We don't care if they're in gold.
Being in gold allows me,
it grabs my attention long
enough to know you've been still.
But I'm paying you for being still, not for being in gold.
Yeah. If you were just a dude sitting there
like this, I wouldn't even notice I walked by. But if you
painted all gold, you're like, oh, you still?
Oh, damn, look how still you are.
Look how still this motherfucker is. You ever see one guy that's still, you give him money, and you see another guy that's stiller?
And you're like, fuck, I should go get my money from the other still guy and give it to this guy because he's way stiller.
You never did that?
Mark, I never done that.
Bro, I did that before.
I did do that.
I saw a guy that was so still, and I was like, fuck, this guy is so much stiller than the other still guy.
Because, like, they compete.
They beef.
I've seen them beef.
You could pay both, too.
You could give them both money if you felt like the effort was good. I only got a five piece. I'm going to give it to the other still guy. Because they compete. They beef. I've seen them You could pay both, too. You could give them both money
if you felt like the effort was good. I only got a five piece.
I'm going to give it to the stillest guy. Oh, you dropped a five
on him? On the stillest guy on the block? Yeah.
They all got Venmo now.
Now they do. This was back in the
90s. Alright, can we talk...
Listen, are they not affected by
SAG-AFTRA? That's what I thought this was.
I thought that this is what all the actors in Toronto
can't make movies and shit no more.
They about to be doing all this shit.
Can we understand what's going on with SAG-AFTRA?
Hey, Mark, get out of the fucking camera
because we got to talk about bird dogs,
dipshit.
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slash flagrant and enter promo code flagrant to get that free Tumblr. Now let's get back to the
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Hey, we're coming back in.
We've actually brought the truffle in here because we tried to talk about the SGA.
What is it called?
SGA.
Speaking of SAG.
Doug's tits are here.
SAG.
Wow.
I'm sorry.
That was wild.
That was unnecessary.
You know that they're fucking up and leaving us on the air.
That was crazy.
That was wild. How do you do that fucking up at least. That was crazy.
Why?
You've been working out so fucking much.
I kind of hurt. I didn't get a chance to take your shirt off.
Look at it.
He's fucking, you got him crossing his.
He's hiding his saggy tits down.
Like, that's fucked up.
I'm sorry.
That's what he just said.
I don't have saggy tits, so.
He just said that.
Wait.
Did you miss the joke?
Why are you saying his tits are saggy?
You just called him.
Speaking of sag.
Mark, you work out three times a day.
Take your shirt off.
He turns into a Hollywood producer real quick.
Young Lion Steve.
Take your shirt off.
Yeah, dude.
I apologize for that awesome roast.
I shouldn't have said that.
You've been good today.
I'm sorry.
You've been good today.
Hi, friends.
He took away all his confidence.
He was already coming in like, guys, I'm going to You've been good today. Hi, friends. He took away all his confidence. He was coming in here.
Nah, dude.
He was already coming in like,
oh, guys, I'm going to fuck it up.
That's not what I'm going to do.
Yeah.
Fucking hit him over the head immediately.
Okay, explain to us what's going on
with this actor and writer strike.
First time it's happened in what?
40 years?
60 years.
60 years.
First time they both struck together.
Yeah, okay.
It's 1984. Why are they really striking?
Everybody's making it out to be
like this AI thing. Oh, AI's gonna
replace the writers. Tell us the
truth. That's all I'm talking about. Tell us the
truth. That's easy. That's negotiating
one-on-one. Makes this thing seem
important, but really that's not it. I think
the biggest thing is obviously the streaming
revenue and the share that they're getting. You know that they negotiate these sack strikes
or these sack agreements every three years. Things change a lot in three years, obviously,
with streaming. I think the biggest reason why this is so tough, and you guys should talk about
what would you do in this situation, but the people that own the streamers are some of people like
apple aren't necessarily like equating it to like revenue right they're just trying to grow the
actual uh streaming platform and so on so other ones that you should do it with nielsen it's like
this is a viewership this is what we could sell ads for and this is how we can evaluate these
shows i don't think that they've got, they're not sharing what the actual.
Oh, that.
Great, great, great, great, great.
What the actual numbers are because it could influence share price so much.
So I think this goes to the point.
What does share price mean?
Like the share of the stock that is being traded.
Exactly, right?
For the streamer.
Okay, so this is really good.
Just to back up one second.
Streamers notoriously have not shared the views for shows.
Sometimes they'll say, oh, viewed 10 million times or something,
or they'll just be like, the number one streamed movie on Netflix,
but you don't know the exact.
Nielsen was giving you a pretty accurate number.
And then I think when things went digital before it went streaming,
so when people are watching on cable
vision or these things, you had like an, I don't want to say almost exact, but like a near exact
number, how many were watching on these like digital cable platforms, right? So you could sell
that show to the audience pretty well. You knew, hey, 10 million people are watching. So this is
what we're going to do. We need ads that are worth 10 million viewers.
Now that these streaming platforms are streaming the shows and they're not being transparent because they don't need to because they're not selling them to the advertisers, right?
The transparency is no need.
They're not giving that transparency to the writers and to the actors.
Yeah, writers can figure out, oh, they sold this many ads at this price.
This is how much they made. This is what we deserve. Now, to make the argument for them, they're going, motherfucker, we ain't even making money. Yeah, writers could figure out, oh, they sold this many ads at this price. This is how much they made.
This is what we deserve. Now, to make the argument for them,
they're going,
motherfucker,
we ain't even making money.
Yeah.
What we're doing
is losing money
to build up the streamer.
So we're paying you all,
making all these fucking shows,
losing all this goddamn money.
You want us to give you
a percentage of what we're making?
You're going to be paying us.
Yeah.
So, like, example,
like, HBO Max can come around.
But look at the battle right now like hbo
max has like decades and decades of content that they can just throw on that at streamer that they
just create out of nowhere now it's max netflix which could before license it now has to produce
their own content so they're all of a sudden spending eight billion dollars to to to make
new content so people stay with them.
So it's this battle that different folks have to say, like, what's the actual valuation?
They haven't figured out how to evaluate the cost of a view.
So the music industry has kind of done this with streaming.
They have a price per stream.
And it varies from Apple to Spotify to to google play or whatever yeah yeah title
but i don't think streamers have figured out the price per stream of a show and and sag wanted i
mean this was one of the requests that they wanted two percent of the revenue that each show generates
for a streaming platform to be paid to performers and And it's like, how do you calculate?
So watch this.
So they wanted to go with a content valuation tool, Parrot Analytics, and that uses Google
searches, social media mentions, and other data sources to measure demand for each show,
which then you got to get everyone agreeing that that's the new way that we're supposed
to do it.
You got to get everyone agreeing that that's the new way that we're supposed to do it.
So surely these streamers are probably underpaying the writers and actors.
But I imagine it's not so far underpaid compared to what the actors think is happening because they're not even making money. Like Netflix has to make a bunch of shows because they can't license everything anymore
because these different studios have their own streamers.
So they're in this mad dash to create content
or else there's nothing to be watched
on their fucking platform.
So they're making shows and on some level
probably going,
we don't give a fuck that much about these shows.
We just need things out here
to justify these people spending every month.
Whereas the writers and the
actors are going, we need our fair share.
And they can't go to them and
say, we don't give a fuck about your
stupid show. We just need
bullshit for right now.
We need to grow in
Europe. And how do you grow in Europe? You need to make
really commercial
star-driven projects so we overpay
these stars and then we realize,
shit now genre is what works or these types of murder docs.
And you kind of are just scrambling to say like,
our mission right now is growth and people get left behind.
To what you were saying earlier,
you can't admit publicly that nobody's watching
the shows you make.
Because then you look weak, your share price goes down.
The share price drops.
And all of these streaming platforms are in the game
where the share price dictates how much they can spend, right?
Because none of them are making money yet.
They're not profitable, right?
But the share price is profitable.
So as long as people are investing, not profitable, but as long as people are invest not profitable but
as long as people are investing it justifies the the spending so it's a real go the one thing i
don't understand couldn't they just give them the numbers of the shows that they license because
isn't that the same thing as the syndication so they don't have to give the numbers for like their
original content shows but any show that's being, they can give those shows the numbers and be like, hey, we're going to pay you.
What's the?
Sure.
I just think they're holding everything so close to their vests just because it's all, you know.
Well, if they give the numbers for the shows that are licensed and it turns out those numbers are way greater than the shows they create themselves.
Then when they go to re-up that license.
Lose some leverage.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
If they just never give out the numbers for the shows that they make, then there's no way of people knowing that one's doing more.
There's nothing to compare it to.
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
Yeah, that sounds good.
I wonder if they feel like they don't have to do that because they've purchased the syndication outright.
So they bought the licensing rights outright and then paid them a straight-up fee for that syndication.
So they're like, we already paid you for that.
Why would I tell you what the shows are doing in syndication if I already paid your fee? Yeah, didn't they pay like $100 million for Friends for one year or something crazy like that?
And then the performers and writers don't get any of that?
They should.
I think when they bought those rights— that up front yeah i think instead of residuals you get a fat
payment up front that's what they have to figure out that when they started like uh movies doing
streamer films is like they have to find a formula to buy out the back end because normally you would
like you know in a theater you would get so if will smith did right? Like, that is back maybe when Will Smith was getting $10, $20 million a movie.
He needs that fee of $10, $20 because that's what he would get in a movie theater.
Plus he needs what the movie gets in syndication when it's sold to HBO afterwards.
And then after that, when it's sold to Channel 11.
And DVDs.
Exactly.
So they're like, we're just going to give you $20 million up front to do break.
That's what Netflix says. And then you just go, okay, I think that that's worth it. Exactly. So they're like, we're just going to give you $20 million up front to do break. That's what Netflix says.
And then you just go, okay, I think that that's worth it, but I don't know.
And there's really no way to quantify the value of a stream just now because they're not profitable.
Yet Spotify I don't think is profitable.
I mean, yeah, I think about all these, like Uber, like meal sharing
and all that shit,
like none of those
are making money.
They're all just dumping VC money
to try to take a market share.
Spotify gives their numbers, though.
That's true.
Yeah, it's very public.
Spotify shows all their numbers.
So an artist can be like,
yo, look, I remember Drake was,
or people were saying
this about Drake,
like he accounts for like
a fourth of the music industry
just in terms of streams.
So. So why would his percentage be the same as somebody an artist that's not bringing on any what if it's time spent
on the app per dollar spent um what is it for your subscription so if you're spending $10 a month and you're spending
eight hours a month on the app,
what if there's some sort of...
Then it's becoming YouTube in a way.
YouTube does that.
And YouTube will actually pay more money
to videos that give people session time.
What is that?
What is session time?
So if there's an amazing YouTube documentary
about pyramids that like has 10 million views,
they'll get paid for every time people watch that video,
but also they'll get paid for the watch time
if that video leads them to spending two more hours
on other videos that aren't theirs.
I was about to say.
Shit, really?
Dude, it's a smaller percentage,
but they will still get money for creating session time.
So if you created a wormhole.
This is what I, yeah, the wormholes, the wormhole effect.
This is the thing.
And this is, this is, I imagine like later, but, but yeah, that's what I was, you know,
early on in the YouTube days, it was like, we were creating the YouTube standup wormholes.
And like, once you get in here, they would suggest other things that you should go watch.
And we had 20 different holes that you could fall into
and then get suggested the same videos
that would come after.
But even if it's not your content,
you still get paid for it.
But that's the thing, then other people,
as they started doing the YouTube thing,
were showing up in the wormholes we created.
Which is great, now they also get to pop off.
More people get opportunities.
And it's interesting on a deal-making perspective of like you're in Netflix and then all of a sudden, remember, you're not doing the 22 shows anymore.
And with 22 episodes per season, you can do shorter seasons.
But that means that people get put out of work sooner.
That's the other thing that's interesting with the writers.
I understand why they're frustrated because they used to do 22 episodes a year for a show.
Now they're down to six to eight on Netflix, maybe. But it was the same work also for like actors, like the work
and effort to get that part or the luck that it took to get that part. And they're out of work
sooner. And on the studio side, you're like, oh, wait, if the show is still now considered a
success and it's shorter and now people are still on my streaming platform and they're going down the wormholes,
I don't need to pay huge contracts to re-up this season, this show for another, you know, second, third, fourth.
Like probably after four seasons now, you have to really pay these fuckers.
Dude.
You're like, no, no, no.
Before I get to that point, let me still kind of try to hit more successes elsewhere.
I just thought about this.
Black Mirror is always so short.
And I'm like, why the fuck is only six episodes worth?
One, they can't afford to pay them anymore.
But I heard this earlier in Netflix where the strategy was do one or two episode seasons.
And I'm trying to think.
A limited series was it?
No, no, no.
It was like, we'll do a sitcom.
Not a sitcom, but we'll do a show.
But let's make it one or two episodes we don't have to go long by the sixth season of game of thrones
or something like that you're paying what's her face daenerys 10 million an episode to do
to have three fucking lines like they got you by the balls really not 10 million but whatever it
is like it was a million dollars an episode but she had three lines like it is she just walks she would walk and like say a word or
something like that but you need it they got you by the way and then if you look at ray romano not
saying they're not deserved seinfeld all these guys were getting a million an episode a bunch
of them are so expensive to make the show because of that fee right i wonder if you're netflix
you just need to keep people on the app,
but there's diminishing returns
for the popularity of the show
because you're not gaining that many new subs
and you can't profit off of advertising.
So it's like you almost don't want the show
to get so crazy popular
that the actors cost so much to make the show.
You really just want it to be like Squid Game, fire.
Okay, what's the next project?
Fire, next project.
Everybody pays little.
It's almost like building your football team through the draft.
And if you drop the episodes all at the same time,
most people are binging it anyway.
What's the difference between six and ten episodes?
So I wonder about Stranger Things.
They had this massive series crack off through Netflix.
They could potentially sink their own show by demanding more money.
And then the show can't persist.
Or all the actors and producers just have to be like, yeah, we'll take less money.
Yeah.
I mean, you see what they're doing.
They're doing like the spinoffs and that kind of shit.
But the great thing with a spinoff is you pay one person.
Yeah.
You know, and then everybody else gets that minimum.
Yeah, they get the new rate.
And Netflix, so the problem with Netflix Netflix they needed a couple anchor shows so like they they definitely put a lot of
efforts because they can't license it anymore that was their big thing is they thought that
they could develop their Seinfeld their uh friends they the passive viewing shows that they had that
really was like the majority of their watching and they didn't really put it together with
scripted they put it together with unscripted
they want formats they got well they they got a selling sunset yeah they got reality shows for
sure they and some the whole f1 series those guys are doing the golf show i'm watching the quarterback
show right now like british bake-off like they can swap out the judges and the host and the show
still works killed it yeah yeah but the shows that get massively popular, they just find other ways to make money from it.
Because like with Stranger Things, they have like amusement park rides.
They have like shows and shit that they put on.
So what is that?
That is the Disney model.
Yeah, merchandising.
I will create an amazing cartoon.
I will make figurines and toys from that cartoon. And then I will make a
ride at a theme park for that cartoon. And you will spend way more money on one weekend in Disney
world in your life than you will on going to see Disney movies for your entire existence.
But it's just the hook to get you in. So it's almost
treating the content as bait to get you going on a Disney cruise with your kids, to get you to go to
Disney World, whatever the hell it is. You're going to spend so much money when you go there
those weekends. So I think Netflix is realizing, okay, we're kind of capped with people that can
get Netflix. How else can we profit? Stranger Things live experience in Times Square.
They need a Netflix theme park. They just don't have enough good scripted content.
Exactly. And eventually they'll get to it.
They'll have the, like, I mean, look what they did with
Harry Potter World. Just if you want to think about
what IP does.
We as adults went to
Harry Potter World once. It's the only reason you go to
Universal Studios. They had a Jurassic
Park thing and I was like, oh, this is probably cracking off
for a little while. This is Harry Potter shit gonna go
for decades. Mario World, they're building that shit?
They're building it up, yeah.
And that, to me, that's fire.
Like, if you really get go-karts done right with Mario World, like, and that's going to be all ages.
Because we came up in it.
It's still part of our existence.
Kids still love go-karts.
That'll get them into Mario, probably.
Driving the Mario World go-karts is the track.
Bro, that's going to be fun.
And, like, actually being able to take out.
There's a way where you could probably digitally.
So you're not going to see the fucking red shell hit the guy in front of you, but it will be on your screen.
Not your screen, but your windshield.
So your windshield could have parts of a digital display.
So you could shoot the red shell.
You could see it hit the car in front of you,
and then that car can slow down or whatever,
but you're playing live Mario Kart.
Yeah.
I mean, especially as VR gets better and better,
that's going to be...
Probably wear some type of glasses or something.
Or an augmented reality suit.
Did you ever do that?
Yeah.
There's an Avatar ride at Disney World that I took
that is a VR ride, and it's actually incredible.
That should make me throw up.
Son, the line is like three hours long.
I can't do it.
It's not as bad as you think.
I did one in Harry Potter World. Him, the line is like three hours long. I can't do it. It's not as bad as you think. I did one in Harry Potter World.
To him, if it goes like this, too much.
Yeah, but it was Harry Potter World that had me shaking and it looked beautiful and it was amazing.
I thought I was in it, but I wanted to throw up.
You get seasick?
I think so.
I don't know.
The average I want is even better.
Seasickness is the most pussy shit in the world.
Nah, but you've never been to sea.
Yeah.
Yeah. No, no, no. but you've never been to sea. Yeah.
No, no, no.
You've never been out to sea.
You're dressing a gay sailor,
but you've never been to sea, bro.
You've never actually been out there, dude.
That shit is so pussy, bro.
Car sickness, pussy.
I'll be getting that shit.
No, I got over car sickness.
I agree.
I got over a lot of things.
Just because you're in a car?
You don't know what
seasickness is, then.
No, seasickness is crazy, bro.
But you've got to be deep
for that shit.
You've got to be like,
you can't see shore.
That's seasickness. You're too close to shore to get seasick. No, but I mean is crazy, bro. But you got to be deep for that shit. You got to be like, you can't see shore. That's seasickness.
You too close to shore to get seasick.
No, but I mean, we were in Mexico.
Like, a couple people on that boat were getting seasick.
I'm like, the fuck is this?
It's just waves.
Relax.
Tell yourself you're not sick and then just keep it moving.
Man, you're really tough, dude.
No, that's some pussy ass shit.
Save some pussy for the rest of us, dude.
Come on.
I don't respect it. I don't respect it. I just don't respect seasick. Al pussy for the rest of us, dude. Come on. I don't respect it.
I don't respect it.
I just don't respect CC.
Al, you're such a man, dude.
I know.
So what do you think will happen?
So you tell us.
What do you think happens?
Because you know how to swim.
I think the easiest thing is that they're going to give,
they'll give just contract bumps to every part,
like the weekly recurrings, those types of things.
I think that's an easy negotiating point.
AI, do you know the thing about AI?
Wait, sorry, can I ask you a quick question?
Netflix is apparently making a lot more money now
because of the advertising.
They have the Netflix model with the ads
and that's making a lot of money.
How does that change things?
Because with the ads, you're probably releasing numbers.
You have to tell the advertisers how much they're paying,
the companies how much they're paying.
And theoretically, it could go to like a Hulu type.
You got the ad model and then you got the no ad model for consumers.
And then y'all, for the ad model, we know how the fuck we get paid residually.
The no ad model, maybe not.
Yeah, I think they'll get pay bumps, but their goal is to get some definition of what this
all means.
Like what some metric of like, we need to know what's considered success.
He ain't listening to a single thing you said.
I did hear it for a second, and then I was like...
I was thinking, I was like, he talked fast, so I got...
He looked at you like he was listening,
and you believed he was listening,
but he was just waiting for you to shut up
so he could keep saying whatever the fuck he was saying, bro.
That was...
I think he did do that.
What's going to happen?
Yeah, what's the fight?
That was good.
I saw him say to Andrew, I did listen, the fuck he was saying, bro. I think he did do that. What's going to happen? Yeah, what's the fight? That was good. That was really good.
I saw him say to Andrew,
I did listen,
and then I saw him
try to repeat what I said
and he couldn't.
So my insult before
a little justified, right?
Yeah.
It's like kind of balanced.
I get it.
I'm with you.
Yeah, right?
Damn.
He's dapping up a lot today,
this guy.
Who is the fight really with?
What are like the executives
that they're really arguing with?
Like, is it just Netflix?
Is it Netflix, Disney?
It's all of them.
They're all part of,
it's unions
because they're actually trying to justify,
or they're trying to give some leeway
to independent producers,
but most TV series
have a studio backing
for the most part.
It's the AMPTP or something,
the Alliance of Motion Pictures and Television Production,
I think.
That's the union going out of the way.
So that's everybody.
Gosh.
Whoa.
So Netflix either got to show their numbers
or just pay everyone more.
Or we got to have less actors.
But who's paying Netflix?
Too many.
Too many.
Too many.
But they say that two to five.
I'm sure they want to hear that.
Only two to five percent of actors that are in SAG can have just that as their job,
and everyone else has to have some kind of side hustle.
Really?
Wow.
Barry Diller today said something that actually kind of makes sense to me.
Who's that?
Barry Diller is a huge media titan.
I think he owns, what's it called, the IAC?
From Tinder to, look him up just
iconic dude but what did he say he said that uh executives and top talents should give 25 percent
of their uh of their fees to the rest of the group which you can almost say like is there something
like whatever the highest negotiated fee is
for their actors, like, there's at least some type of tax,
if you will, that's distributed across the performers
on that project.
So you don't have something where you have, like,
the biggest actor making $30 million and then someone else
making, you know, a couple grand.
I'm like, come on.
That's a good proposal.
And the execs would do it with them?
The execs, it's like, yo, if I got to sell you,
I got to sell you.
The execs, I don't see them doing it. I mean, the execs are coming at us, folks. Oh, that's brilliant. You want the execs would do it with them? It's like, yo, if I got a sub... Execs, I don't see them doing it.
I mean, the execs are coming out, folks.
Oh, that's brilliant.
You want the execs to make less money?
All right, bet.
Brad Pitt, you cough it up, too.
And then Brad Pitt's going to be like, fuck no.
So, I mean, would they just negotiate that into the thing where they're like,
okay, 30 mil, but 10% has to go to whatever, so pay me 33 mil.
But make it part of, like, a union fee.
Because think about it like this.
Like, any agent that reps top talents always wants to get the most for their
talent right so it's not like oh yeah this person wants to do and this person doesn't you just make
us part of like you know your pension health and welfare that union dues kind of go for but you
actually make it part of like whoever is the highest paid and that's what a lot of these shows
are based on like you know Some number has to be distributed.
But then one show
but then the argument is like, yeah, one project
that has a huge superstar that's getting
a huge amount gets this and then some other
genre show that doesn't
have a big superstar, the number isn't
You could make
taxes.
But you could make the argument that
that big actor on the project is already doing that.
By having the project exist in the first place.
Exactly.
It's like, by Tom Hanks being in the movie, everybody else gets paid.
Nobody else is going to see that movie until Tom Hanks is there.
For example, like A Man Named Otto, right?
Fantastic movie.
Nobody is going to see that movie if Tom Hanks isn't there.
That movie sucks without Tom Hanks. Yeah. That movie sucks without Tom Hanks.
Yeah.
It's nothing without Tom Hanks.
Yeah. I mean, I don't know about that.
No one would like it if it wasn't for Tom Hanks.
I don't know about that because I think that the writing is really good.
I think that the acting is really good.
Sure, but you wouldn't care.
I knew there was an argument.
You wouldn't give a fuck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What I'm saying is nobody would go see it.
And it wouldn't get made.
So it starts with Tom Hanks, and then everybody else gets placed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, what?
He didn't like the movie that much.
No, I thought it was good.
I knew there was an argument, bro.
The part you didn't like, I actually thought was good.
Ugh, you suck.
Let's fucking go.
And so, Barry Diller used to be the CEO of Paramount,
and was part of creating Fox Broadcasting.
Wait, why did it suck again?
No, I thought it was good. I really enjoyed it.
I thought the end was really beautiful.
I mean, I'm not as gay as him.
Wait till he tells you what part he really liked.
No, he really got upset about the trans person,
and I was like, no, I get why they did that.
Because they put a trans person in the movie, and I thought the point was he's friends with, like, this guy hates everybody.
You don't follow the rules.
He doesn't like you.
He seems so surly.
He keeps calling everybody an idiot.
But then this Latina girl, who I think she's a great.
She was fantastic.
She's the best, like, outside of Tom Hanks part of the movie.
But then there's a trans person that was like, you know, his wife died, and that's why he's extra miserable.
Trans person that was a student of his wife who was a teacher.
And I thought the point of all these like diverse people is this guy, the Hollywood trope is you're an old racist person who changes to not racist throughout the movie.
They're making themselves different than that and being like, no, this guy's open-minded.
He doesn't care what race you are.
He doesn't care what gender you are.
He just hates idiots.
That's his whole thing.
You don't follow the rules, you're an idiot.
You don't part correctly, you're, he just hates idiots. That's his whole thing. You don't follow the rules, you're an idiot. You don't part correctly, you're an idiot.
We need to just make him that guy
who changes throughout the movie into somebody who
accepts everyone
beyond all that. And that couldn't
have been accomplished without the trans storyline.
It's the most extreme version of it.
In the book, he's gay.
See what they do?
See what they do? In the book, he's gay,
but gay is not enough now.
So Hollywood's like, you have to make him trans.
It just felt like, after being in some movies and seeing how this shit works.
No.
No.
You complained that the character's trans.
He's gayer.
He's gayer.
No.
I mean, extra gay. I see his point. They always have to up the morphine of diversity. I see gayer. No, I mean, extra gay.
I see his point.
They always have to up
the morphine of diversity.
I see your point.
Yo, hey.
Go.
Can we get some lights
in here?
Did I just lose
my argument myself?
I think so.
You did, you did,
but that was fire
the way you lost it.
You were sitting on that
the whole time?
I know.
I guess what I'm saying
is the acting of the character
and their relationship
was fine, but it was so obviously an executive was like, we'll make this movie, but we'd like you to make this trans because that's the hot button topic right now.
And that's the thing that we need acceptance. These gays, they've been accepted. So throw them out the fucking bath water. But trans is our way. And then seeing Tom Hanks have to fucking
hold this movie together.
I mean, it was like
Spider-Man,
you know,
in the subway scene,
Spider-Man 2
and Tobey Maguire
is like barely stopping
the train from falling
off the tracks.
He held,
it was the most
forced bullshit.
Why?
Why does nobody like you?
Hi, I'm trans.
And my dad threw me out of the house
because of the
Shut the fuck up.
Shut up. No, you need that.
You just said it. If gay is
more acceptable now, you need something that's
more acceptable to show
how fucking understanding this guy
is. Like, yeah,
that actually made it better.
No. It made it better to highlight his thing of just
like hey i just don't like idiots that don't follow the rules so you need extremes because
i think a hacky movie is an old racist an old white guy is racist and then he meets some minorities
and gay people and now he's not racist that's so hacky to me i thought this was different and that
it was like man i don't give a fuck if you're trans i don't give a fuck if you're puerto rican
i don't give a fuck if you're black i don don't give a fuck if you're Puerto Rican.
I don't give a fuck if you're black.
I don't care.
You know, there's a scene where like he's.
Wait, what movies have they put out where it's the old racist guy?
Clint Eastwood did one where he fucking hated Gran Torino.
That's what I was thinking of.
That happens.
It happens a lot.
All the time.
That's the thing?
Yes.
But if the book was written in like the 60s and the guy was black and it would have been amazing in that time.
If we saw it now, we'd be like, ah, it's not that crazy like ah it's not that crazy except they didn't even make it like about race like there's a scene where he has his best friend who's black and they didn't talk for
decades and it was his best friend and he talks about how like you know we were just different
and you know back and you would expect that to be about race but they lift up their cars and one has
a ford and one has a chevy And he's like this blue collar motherfucker.
He's like, I can't believe you got a Ford, Doug.
I'm a Chevy man.
We're such different people.
And then he said, like, I tried to patch things up with him.
And I realized we had just changed into different people.
The black guy's like, hey, I want to show you my new car.
And then he lifts up the garage and it's a Toyota.
And the guy's like, I can't fucking, I can't believe I ever was friends with this guy. And it's like, the race thing is not an issue at all.
It's just he's that stuck in his ways and that close-minded.
So I thought the trans thing, I do agree a bit.
It's like, you're giving the exec more credit than I would give him.
I would think it's, hey, we need to make this as diverse as possible to make everybody happy and not get yelled at.
Make them trans, not gay.
But I think it actually highlighted, in the end it worked out because it highlighted the fact that he don't give a fuck what your anything is.
I just hate idiots.
Yeah, that's what I got from him.
I didn't get that it was a play about whether people,
whether he was unaccepting of different races or cultures.
Yeah, I thought that highlighted that further.
The idiot thing was perfect.
He just hates everybody because he was dealt
like a kind of rough set of cards in life.
And I mean, it sounds, the movie's dope.
He just tries to kill himself constantly throughout the movie. It's so funny, dope like he just tries to kill himself
constantly throughout
the movie
he's so funny dude
like literally
tries to kill himself
and it's like
I would really
recommend it
it's fucking
tearjerker
it's incredible
but Tom Hanks
is just so sensational
and his ability
to hold that movie
together when that
trans just tried
to drop a fucking
nuclear bomb
in the middle of it
but if it was a gay guy
it still would've worked
right?
exactly my point
but like you could've
made him a Nazi you could have made him a Nazi.
You could have made him
a Nazi person.
You could have gone more extreme.
To a guy Tom Hanks' age,
it would have worked.
What type of gay?
Flamboyant.
Oh, see, that's...
But he's not a flamboyant trans.
Flamboyant gay trans is right there.
But you can't be a flamboyant trans.
You're transitioning into...
No, I mean, like,
I put him at the same level of, like...
Of what?
Yeah.
Of diversity.
Diversity.
There we go.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know what he's trying to say.
I feel like we shouldn't bail him out.
No.
Come on, go.
Tell us.
It's just diversity.
It's just diversity.
It's just diversity.
Yeah.
I just hate the forced shit.
And poor Tom Hanks having to be like, oh, damn.
Like, that must be so hard.
He didn't say that.
Yeah, he did.
No, he just goes,
your dad didn't like you
because you're trans?
He's an idiot.
That's all he said.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was the stuff
he was so mad about.
He was so mad about that.
Come on, son.
You also made it this big thing
and I'm watching the movie
and I'm like,
that's it?
How do we know
it's just because he's trans?
The guy couldn't even fix a bike.
The guy couldn't even fix a fucking bike.
That's why your dad doesn't like you.
Who put your bike together for you?
Yeah.
A fucking tranny over in Westwood.
You know what I mean?
You should read the book.
Say what?
Read the book, it's good.
They're just gay in the book, you'll enjoy that one more.
I like that, that's good.
It's also, I like that Akash likes it.
It's like blue collar guy. It's such a in the book. You'll enjoy that one more. I like that. That's good. It's also, I like that Akash likes it. It's like blue-collar guy.
It's such a Swedish-European book.
It's a man called Uwe, and it's so European.
I know.
What is that?
They're fighting over Volvos and Skodas in the book.
It's a great book.
I bet it is.
Yeah.
Because great books become great movies.
Are you going to go see Oppenheimer?
Yeah, I'm really excited for it.
People are saying it's going to save Hollywood.
Oh, you know his band in Japan?
They're not showing it in Japan, which makes...
Should we just show it anyway, like against their will?
There's two showings.
No, I think that it's going to be great, man.
I mean, I love Nolan.
He's a beast.
And he's got great cats, and the story's great.
I mean, you already see how they're organizing it.
It feels like Ford versus Ferrari, but for nuclear weapons.
Just even for the trends, it's like, we have to do it.
They've got a 12-month head start on us.
Or Germany's got a 16-month head start on building nuclear weapons. We have to
do it. This is the only way we can win the war.
You know, bring the boys together.
This is the most important thing in history.
Yeah, yeah.
They just haven't had like an official release
date yet. So they're like trying to figure
out the release date. I can think of a good date.
What date?
Black Friday.
A day that will live on in infamy or whatever
isn't that Pearl Harbor?
yeah they could do it
on theirs
December 17th
yeah they could do it
on their big day
it's funny that like
they're doing joint marketing
for Barbie and Oppenheimer
at the same time
I've seen a lot of memes
about that
it's great because now
nobody else can promote
it's crazy
oh so just to let everybody
know that if you're in SAG,
which is the Actors Union or the Regiment,
not only you can't act, you can't promote your films.
So you can't even like come on a podcast and promote,
like you can't do anything to promote,
it is like pens down.
So they're using all of their old press junket footage.
Like if you see any footage of the actors together, it's promoting film.
It's old shit. And you can't, I
guess, use the old stuff to promote it.
It's just no more new things.
So,
I don't know. I think it's genius that they're going into
this meme marketing
to get buzz for the
movies.
And it seems to be working out.
Are they in the same studio?
Are they completely different?
No clue.
Like the fact that they're riding the wave together, I'm just assuming that's just in
solidarity because they can't promote.
Yeah.
And so even if the studios hate each other, they're like, we got to do this.
We got to win.
All these actors are striking.
Yeah.
I think they're jumping on a wave that existed before when people found out that Barbie and
Op and I were coming out at the same time.
Now, it's smart that they both come out at the same time because you would think that
the audiences might be different. Yeah. Op and I are probably skews more male time. Now, it's smart that they both come out at the same time because you would think that the audiences might be different.
Op and I are probably skews more male,
maybe a little bit older.
Barbie, you're going to have the...
Weirdos.
You got the feet weirdos.
Feet dudes.
You got, not weirdos, just feet men.
Feet connoisseurs.
Feet connoisseurs.
Small ears.
Feet connoisseurs.
Sole mall ears.
So we got You know like
I don't know
You just feel like
I just feel like
Maybe women go see Barbie
You got the older women
Who played when they were young
And maybe the younger women
Are into it
So it's like
And the kids
Do the kids go see it?
Is Barbie important to children?
I don't think it is
I think so
I was actually at my friend's
Daughter's birthday party
She's turning I think eight
And yeah She's still, I think, eight.
And yeah, she's still into Barbies.
Son, kids still watch Sesame Street.
All this shit came back.
Interesting.
It went away for a while, I think, and then it came back.
Because remember when Adam Sandler put out that movie with the video games?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pixels.
What's that called?
Pixels.
Pixels.
And he used all these games that were popular when we were kids. And the youth now just didn't really grow up playing them.
Now, what was pretty surprising is that fucking Mario, the Super Mario Brothers movie did work.
So I guess Super Mario Brothers is still popular.
Always still.
They kept developing new games and stuff.
Kids are still playing that.
Exactly.
Massive.
I don't know if that's because of the movie or what.
Yo, Legos feels bigger now than it was when we were kids.
Yeah, which is crazy.
They didn't have the movies.
Yeah, they just had the toys.
I don't think they had kids back then.
Oh, shit, that's right.
The movie.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was really just like a building project when you were a kid.
It was so much fun.
I loved it.
Yeah.
I didn't.
I had no creativity.
I couldn't do it.
But you don't need it.
They got the, it wasn't you build your own.
It was like you follow the instructions to make a cool thing.
My cheap-ass parents just bought a big tub of Legos. Poor people. We just got. You didn't even have real Legos. You had the fake ones that didn't really build your own. It was like you followed the instructions to make a cool thing. My cheap ass parents just bought a big tub of Legos
for people we just got.
You didn't even have real Legos.
You had the fake ones
that like didn't really
click in together.
Mega blocks.
My shit clicked, I think.
We had Legos.
It was just brand new.
It wasn't like.
You just had the bucket.
It was a bucket.
And then you could make
your own things, but.
Just yellow, red.
I was making squares, bro.
And green, isn't it?
I was making bigger squares
out of my rectangular Legos.
That's like pediatrician Legos.
Like you ever go to
the pediatrician when you're a kid?
They got the sick room with just a bucket of old sick Legos. Oh bucket old sick Legos just full of fucking snot and cum and shit was disgusting
There's just in a bucket so pediatrician, right? Why would you say that for pediatrician?
I'm saying what I experienced
The freedom that everybody
Sample they do a sample bro. They're thinking
You told me if I didn't tell anyone, I'd get a lollipop.
What am I saying?
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Come on, dude.
For sure, Florida.
Where was Epstein's Island?
Elodian, Galupo.
What's that shit?
What's that shit?
Oh, the slime?
Oh, slime.
All right, what else we got?
Yeah, the Nyack Club.
Levity Live, man.
Tried to pull a fast one.
Tried to pull a fast one.
That sucks, dude.
Tried to pull a fast one.
Let me just start us out by saying there's a lot of great clubs out there.
There's a lot of great clubs out there.
I love going to clubs.
I think a lot of times comics get to a certain level and then they never go to clubs again.
And I think that their comedy reflects it.
I think their comedy starts to get a little thin.
And what I mean by that meaning is like,
it hasn't just been like worked out
and grinded out and pounded out.
And that's what you, I think, need to do with jokes.
Like if you have success with something,
you replicate the things that gave you that success.
So if like you built your first hour in the clubs grinding
and then you take that to theaters
and you take that to arenas,
I think that's what you should do.
So like I try to do as many clubs as I can
while I'm preparing for the tour.
And we went to this club.
And as we're walking in, right before, Vala sends me a picture of two fans on the stage.
And this is like a pretty big club.
Not fans.
No, not like supporters.
Like Spinny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have to be very specific.
We do.
And basically, I'm like, why are there fans on stage?
He goes, oh, the AC is not really working.
I go, why not?
It's 84 degrees.
Yeah.
He goes, and I go to the manager who's taking us into the club.
Keep in mind, when this club was built, this was a state-of-the-art comic club.
Yeah, it really was.
I remember when it first went up.
It looks kind of like a theater.
It was.
It was an IMAX theater.
It was a movie theater. Yeah, and I think they even filmed some specials in there, like state-of-the-art shit.
Yeah.
So I'm looking at this, and I go to the manager.
I'm like, is the AC done?
And the manager's like immediately defensive.
And he's like, yeah, yeah, I mean, it's the humidity.
You can't handle this humidity.
That's what the fuck it's for.
Also, they have comedy clubs in Dallas, Texas, and Miami, Florida.
Their AC is pumping.
Yeah, it's-
Killing it.
Once it gets hot and humid, you press play on the AC.
That's when it's time to dance.
And it's 84.
It knows what to do in 84.
He basically told you, yo, the AC works in the winter.
You're like, oh, does it?
Oh, when you not need to press play?
Is that when it works?
I mean, it was just like the most mind-boggling thing.
But the second he was defensive immediately, the second he was defensive immediately,
they're like, oh, they knew this shit was off.
Because if it just went off that day, you are apologizing profusely.
You're running around like a chicken with his head cut off.
Like, I don't know what this happened.
We're so sorry.
What can we do to fix it, etc.
When you knew that it was down, right, when you knew that it was down for a while, then
you act defensive because you need to keep the lie that you're telling yourself, we've
done everything that we can.
You don't feel the guilt, or you don't feel like it's out of your control because you know that it was in your control.
So my issue was you didn't tell us before we went there. Yeah. Because if you tell me before we go, we have the opportunity to tell the fans.
Five sold out shows. They've been sold out for months. We put them on sale.
We are fortunate enough, lucky enough that people are interested that they sold it out in literally a day. Okay? So we have months for this to do.
After I posted the thing about the ACs being done, I got Miss Pat messaging me.
She's like, oh, when I was there, I almost died on stage.
The AC wasn't working there.
We got other people kind of snitching and telling us the AC hasn't worked since last June.
Fuck.
So we got a lot of people to other comics saying, yeah, it didn't work when I was there, et cetera.
And it's just my issue is this.
And I've said this time and fucking time again.
There's no more important relationship in my career than that of the fans that come out to live shows and they're listening to the podcast.
That's the most important relationship.
We protect that with all costs because you changed my life, like literally changed my life.
It's like I don't care about my relationship with like a studio exec even close to as much as this relationship because that's fickle. He'd get fired. Our shit is done. There's nothing out of my, it's completely out of my control. I can say
one thing on this podcast. He's like, oh, I can't talk to you anymore. But this direct connection
is freedom. It's everything. So when those people are going to get to see one show in maybe three
years or four years, who knows one show in two years, how often they come out and see me, it's got to be the best possible situation.
They've got to enjoy it.
Because at the end of the day, if they go to that show and they're in a fucking sauna, they're like, oh, that's the experience when you go watch Schultz?
And what are people talking about?
Like, after the show, like, oh, how was the show?
Oh, man, it was the AC didn't work.
It was so sweaty.
It reflects on me.
Yeah.
Oh, man, it was the AC didn't work.
It was so sweaty.
It reflects on me.
And in my mind, the reason why the club's not saying anything ahead of time is because, oh, shit, he might cancel the shows and then we're not going to get that money.
If I show up and then you find out, oh, he's going to feel too guilty because he knows the people have already come.
So that's what we did Friday.
I knew that there were people waiting online literally as I'm walking the club to go see the show.
So I'm like, fuck it.
We'll do the show because they would be more angry at me that they got dressed, got the babysitters, did all these things, made their plans, and then we sent them home.
One show Friday, two shows Friday. Two shows Friday.
Fuck me.
Second show is fucking a boiler room.
It was crazy.
And I mean, I'm in a fucking tank top.
Yeah.
Listen, I was too embarrassed to walk out on the stage in a tank top because I was like, you're a crazy person to do that.
So I put my shirt on before I walked out on stage both times so that I could take it off.
Just so that somebody wouldn't see me walk on stage like, who does this guy think he is?
You're Scott Baio doing sandal work.
Dub said my arms were flopping like an old lady at bingo.
Got the wings.
It was bad.
A lot of small act outs.
Vacation's done.
Should have just pulled a Bert Kreischer, bro.
The whole thing just went crazy, right?
So it was just one of those things
that was fucked up.
So we canceled the Saturday shows.
And yeah, make sure, and everybody, make sure you get refunded.
If you don't get refunded, DM me personally.
I'll make sure you get your money back.
We will.
We tried to reschedule those shows, and another club that was around there was closed.
We couldn't do it, but we did try our best to make it happen.
And we will, I will make sure that we do a show out there.
And we'll find a way to get that email list to give you guys first dibs
on tickets in that area.
I'm really sorry about that. It's just not worth
it for that time. People spend their money.
We could have done one day before. We could have booked a theater.
We could have done... Oh, dude, if you give us
one day before, we could have rented
external AC units, which we
tried to do for the Saturday shows. The club
tried to do it. It didn't end up happening. I knew that show
wasn't going to happen. But they said that they attempted to,
like, we could have problem solved with this.
Why would you not fix it for a year?
Like, I get you're a business,
and you got a whatever,
but at the end of the day,
you need happy customers.
It's in a mall,
and malls are dying and all of that,
but like, you've just got to,
basic things.
What happens if someone got hurt?
Basic things.
Yo, the staff is walking around in it.
Like, it's crazy.
Sweat everywhere.
You could slip on that.
That's another thing.
I will say this.
That's another thing.
The club
is paying the staff
for the Saturday night.
I said,
I'm going to tip them out
for the three sold out shows.
And then the club
goes,
well, we'd like to pay that.
We'd like to pay their tip for the three sold outs or whatever.
And I'm like, okay, you can pay that.
Yeah, absolutely.
But of course they have to say yes, because they can't not do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you already don't have the AC, and now I go do it, and then you just sit there.
Of course you got to fucking make it happen.
So what I will say is that they did the right thing by paying their staff for saturday because it's not this fastball
that they lost out on that and and tipping them out that was the right thing to do because they've
also had their staff working in no ac the entire summer so not good i mean not good and i like that
club that sucks i was there a while ago and they were super nice i was excited i was excited to do
it man i was really excited to do do shows. I wonder why they haven't
got it fixed, though,
because they have to have
this problem
every single weekend.
I mean, I think
that they're not...
I don't think they think
that club's going to be there
that long.
If you were keeping it around
for the long haul,
you were continuing
to invest in your product.
So that's my suspicion.
20K to fix the AC? How long is it going to be there? in your product. So that's my suspicion. 20K to fix AC?
How long is it going to be there?
Probably.
We might already
be losing money.
But still,
still,
it just seems like
you got to do that much.
It's AC.
It's not like
some fancy thing
that we don't really need.
Yeah.
It's AC.
It's the summer.
It's a comedy club.
We're already packed in there.
The whole point is
to pack as many people
in there as possible.
All that body heat,
you just get hot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it it's just a shame and there are a lot of great
clubs out there man we were just out in salt lake city zany's was great zany's in national but this
the the wise guys comedy club is all it's just it's just an awesome club and the guy really
fucking cares yeah and he's just the man and like you go to these places and they deserve a shout
out there's a lot of zany's another one yeah they deserve a shout out. There's a lot of Zany's, another one. They deserve a shout out like Denver Comedy Works.
There's a lot that are great.
And they continue to invest in the experience for the people that are there.
And I think there's a weird thing that's happening with comedy right now where there's like a little bit of a chasm where some of the comedy clubs are going, oh, well, the comic is just going to bring their crowd in.
So their crowd is not the club's crowd.
OK, so maybe we don't need to treat them as if they're our patron because they're really the patron of the comic.
They're coming once and not again.
But they could be your patron.
Yeah.
Give them the best experience.
They could be like, yo, a comedy show is a great date night.
Yes.
That's how you build culture.
Instead of watching a movie by myself in the theater,
why don't I go to a comedy club?
Have like an interactive thing, be around people.
You got to sell them on that.
In the same way clubs would have their people come to our show and we had to sell them on being our fans.
Now it's different.
They're coming to see us and you can sell them on being your fans.
Yeah, that's the thing.
It's just one of those things where it's like,
it takes a comic, myself included, so long to get to the point where people are willing to get dressed, leave their house to go out and see you live.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you really nurture that experience in that relationship.
And when a club doesn't seem to care about that, you get really fucking annoyed, man.
Yeah, I understand.
Because it takes years.
Yeah.
And it's fun to go back to the clubs that invested in you and lost money in you.
I've done tons of shows at Levity Live where I probably, the club lost money having me
there.
So it's nice to go there and be like, yo, thank you for investing in me.
Here's your sold out weekend.
Everybody, all the staff, they're paying their fucking rent this weekend.
Everybody, it's good.
I'm glad to be here.
Do we have to?
No.
But I'm fucking glad.
It's fun.
It's awesome.
And then to see them not care, it fucking sucked.
And no real accountability.
Like, everybody just be like, I find it hard to fucking believe.
Nobody knows why the AC doesn't work.
Yeah.
Especially if other comics are hitting you up and like, yo, I was there a while ago.
Didn't work. Bro. Yeah. If it was, yo, this weekend. Put it this way. A lot. Yeah. Especially if other comics are hitting you up and like, yo, I was there a while ago, didn't work.
Bro,
yeah.
If it was,
yo,
this weekend.
Put it this way,
a lot.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Well,
good on you for canceling
that shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well done.
Yeah.
Sucks,
but it's the right move.
Yeah.
And again,
your fans might have been upset,
but I guarantee you
they'd be more upset
if they went there
fucking on a Friday night.
We get one night off
away from the kids,
like you said,
and then it's 100 degrees in the room.
We're sweating so hard we can barely
laugh at the show. That's all we're going to remember, like Mark
said. Yeah. Yeah. So
it was cool, man. So we've
destroyed milk.
We've destroyed levity.
Who else do we want to destroy?
Scorched earth, baby. Total war.
Total fucking war.
Yeah, dude. You know a movie I'm so goddamn excited to see, it's not even funny?
Napoleon.
Yeah.
Oh, bro.
Oh, my God, this movie looks incredible.
I didn't even hear about it.
Son, we really wiped Napoleon from the history books.
We talk about the French like they're pussies and they never won a war.
They almost conquered the world.
Come on, dude.
And we've completely wiped that away.
Like, they retreat from every battle.
They're a bunch of bitches.
That is our idea.
That is like the British American idea of the French.
Propaganda.
Napoleon was busting their ass.
Now, to be fair, he's Italian.
He's from Corsica.
Bonaparte, yeah.
Bonaparte.
Let's just be honest, right?
At the time, Corsica's part of France, but he's a real Italian guy.
He's got that Roman blood.
We need to conquer the world.
There's no way a real French
person could do this. Every great leader is an outsider.
Talk that shit.
Alexander the Great was not Greek.
He's Macedonian. There is no Greek empire at the time.
The Macedonians were the empire.
That's the other thing. Greece doesn't exist
until much later.
There's no real Greece.
I know the Greeks are going to be upset about this,
but Greece doesn't exist until much later. There's no real Greece. I know the Greeks are going to be upset about this, but like Greece doesn't exist until much later.
There were tiny empires that, not even empires, there were tiny like city states.
What do they call them?
Polis or something like that?
Yeah.
Polis.
And they all looked at themselves as their own independent countries.
So it wasn't like, yeah, we're all Greek.
Yeah.
Greek was the common language.
Yeah.
I didn't know Athens.
I thought Athens and Sparta had beef the way like- They do. Fucking Philly and DC had beef, but we're all Greek. Yeah. Greek was the common language. Yeah, I didn't know Athens. I thought Athens and Sparta
had beef the way, like,
fucking Philly and D.C.
had beef,
but we're still American.
They were like,
we had beef and that's it.
Like, the British
and the French had beef.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I feel like there's a story
about, like, every country.
Like, India is, like,
all these warring tribes
and then now they're Indian.
No, but there was
a great Indian emperor
who, like, organized that shit.
I forget that motherfucker's name.
I was just reading about it.
You know, I don't know it.
But, yeah, same with, like, the don't know it. Same with the Persians.
The Persians were about that fucking life.
And we don't learn about them at all because they're Iranian.
I didn't know about that until 300.
Nobody would even...
This is going to sound crazy. Nobody would talk about
Alexander the Great if he didn't
take down the Persian Empire.
I don't know if he killed Cyrus
or maybe Cyrus died in battle, but like he took out the Persians.
Nobody done that before.
Yeah.
Because crossing them mountains was crazy.
But Alexander the Great
was about that business.
Genghis Khan,
my dad said like just crazy
how many people he ran through.
Did he run through y'all?
I don't know if he ran through y'all.
My dad always tells me a story
about like just how brutal he was.
He said his whole goal
when he took over one village
was to be so fucking awful to them
and massacre them so thoroughly
the next village would hear about it and be like,
let's just not even. Let's surrender before they even come.
If you fight, you're going to get fucking slaughtered.
Yeah, that's crazy.
The Napoleon shit, I sent you that article
that apparently before Hitler...
I remember you telling me this.
People in the early 1900s, they talked about the worst man ever.
Who's the most evil person you could ever personify.
It was Napoleon.
Who wrote that article?
Hitler.
Hitler's friends.
I don't know.
I just said something.
They wrote it before Hitler was born?
The new one?
That's an odd question.
He didn't even mess with that.
The reason why I'm saying this is that that might be British propaganda.
Oh.
Right?
Okay.
Because that's the thing.
Napoleon, wild dude.
I was talking to Shane about this, actually.
We were at the cellar.
And Tim.
But like, he invents the idea of the war state, which is kind of like what we all have now.
Like, if you look at America in World War II, Ford stops making the cars and they start making the vehicles for war, right?
And the whole country operates as a war machine, the military industrial complex.
This idea is invented by Napoleon.
Like, internal industry into war.
The country is war.
That's total war, right?
Total war.
The women are doing it.
Like, everyone's involved.
What we think a lot of times with total war is we think of Tecumseh Sherman, which you were referencing earlier.
And that's more just like, I'm going to blaze through everything.
Scorch earth.
Scorch earth, yeah.
Civil war.
Genghis Khan type shit.
Yes.
And then, which when you think about it, it's like, it's a really tragic way of looking at war.
Because you lose, not only do you lose all this
innocent lives but you lose all the culture all the relics like yeah i mean this has probably
happened tons of times in europe and like the city of babylon is fucking done probably because of
scorcher total war whatever but total war in terms of like everybody there is working for the cause
and i was asking the the guys i was like what was his competitive advantage, I was like, what was his competitive advantage? And he was like, artillery.
Like, other people had developed, obviously, gunpowder comes from China, right?
Sure.
But it was, they invented gunpowder, right?
But like, the canon is Napoleon.
Like, perfected, and the use of it.
I mean, just like, busting people's ass, war strategy.
And I think what happened was since Britain, Russia,
and maybe even Germany
had to come together,
I think they were called
the Ententes or something like that,
come together to stop Napoleon,
of course we're going to write about him
as if he was the shortest guy ever.
The guy was like 5'8",
which is like normal for the time.
Yeah, I think he was average for the time.
That's a great height, I think.
I mean, I'd take it.
Yeah, for the time, it's like you should have been born back then. Yeah, or just he was average for the time. That's a great height, I think. I mean, I'd take it. Yeah, for the time.
He's like, you should have been born back then.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or just be in India.
Maybe he was born back then.
Ooh, they're in their back.
Come on, I got you.
Let's go.
He's in his body.
They didn't upgrade you.
There's got to be someone that that happened to, right?
He's like a blackberry.
They reincarnated as themselves.
They'd be like, fuck, I got to do this again?
Shit.
Five, six.
Five, six. But that could
be Brian saying it.
Who wrote that article? Come on.
So wait, what were you saying about
when I asked you about who wrote that?
I thought people were
trying to get heat off Hitler. They'd be like, no, Napoleon was way worse than him.
No, no, and I think, I would imagine that's what
the British are going to be writing about this guy.
Because if you also look at the things he does, he was like,
yo, we're getting rid of monarchies. Everybody's equal. Now he ends up
placing his fucking brother as a king of Spain. He ends up being the complete hypocrite and doing
all the things that he shouldn't. But he stands for the liberation of people, inequality,
and getting rid of the monarchy, which is oppressing these people. Now, is he using that
as a tool to gain favor of the oppressed, you know, working class, maybe.
That's possible. But at the same time, like,
that part is left out
of history, especially when comparing
him to a guy like Hitler. Hitler wasn't, hey,
yeah, we just want to liberate everybody.
He was like, nah, I'm in charge of the whole fucking world.
They turned Napoleon to a psychology
term. Son!
All he's known for.
Bro! And that's the short guy who's just like tough all the time.
But don't really.
Napoleon complex should mean like, yo, you are that guy.
You're him.
Yeah, you're him.
You're Napoleon complex.
You're him.
Yeah, you're him.
You think that you should run the world.
Nothing to do with height.
Yeah.
Anyway, I'm stoked to see that, man.
And also Ridley Scott, like this is the dude, the guy who's directing it.
I mean, he did-
He did Gladiator. Gladiator. Alien.
Alien. Also, he's like a
history buff and a little bit of a conspiracy
buff. He was all about that JFK
shit. He was on Rogan
recently, wasn't he? Maybe. I can't remember.
I think he was on Rogan recently. When does that one come out?
That's November. Napoleon Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving. They always save
the big shit for Thanksgiving. Oh, really?
Thanksgiving and Christmas are like big blockbuster days.
That makes sense.
But what about the summer one when, remember Will Smith?
It feels like summer movies, Dub you can correct me, it feels like summer movies are
like popcorn flick blockbusters like Marvel and shit.
And then blockbusters that are also Oscar worthy, November and like December.
Oh, because that's probably closer to the season.
Tease up for like Oscars and shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like Lincoln came out then.
The JFK thing that is crazy
is that if you go
to the spot in Dallas,
apparently you can stand
in the book depository.
Oh.
And then they have an X
on the street
where he got shot.
X on the street, yeah.
It's weird.
It's weird.
You're allowed to go
in the book depository
and like line it up.
And?
Can you?
I mean, some people are like,
no, there's no way.
Other people are like,
yeah, if you got lucky, whatever.
But it's just crazy that they let you practice.
Yeah.
If you're going to the 9-11 more, there's a flight simulator.
Yeah, that's true.
But no president ever driving down that road again, you know what I mean?
I mean, no, never.
Maybe you try to kill your ex-wife or some useless bitch like that.
You're not killing the president.
But why do they let you line it up?
Like, yo, this is a tragedy. So much speculation. I wanna go. But that's what makes me up like yo this is a tragedy so much speculation
i want that's what makes me feel like it's not a conspiracy but i think they blocked it off
so you just told me they didn't know they used to be able to and then i think recently they were
like oh we put space because people were like trying to break people are fucking insane yeah
but you can still see it you can still go to where it is it's kind of like i mean i went there i
didn't go in the building but i went i stood where you could you could get shot. Yeah. And I looked up at the building
like, I could get shot.
Yeah.
I'm talking.
I felt like I could get shot
from here.
Like, when I was there,
I was like, it makes sense.
I completely agree.
Also, did you see the thing
where they reenacted it
with the type of automobile?
No.
Where the seats
were at different levels
and they weren't accounting
for that when they were
doing the original physics?
Oh, interesting.
So he was like higher
than who we're seeing? He was actually higher. That makes sense, too. higher because those old lincolns you like sit super low on them yeah so
interesting i know a guy did so listen a bunch of people have looked into this i'm sure there's
some fucked up stuff around it there's no question yeah and that's the dance and i think if you're
like the people in charge or the days you're just like how, like, what is probably true isn't that interesting, but
you can't say it.
So you're just like, let them run with this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's probably true isn't that interesting, but it also isn't what we think, what the
average person thinks happened.
Yeah, like, what's that, Area 51 or whatever?
Yeah.
Yeah, like, it's the same shit.
Exactly.
I think the allure is better, so it's just like, it's the same shit. Exactly. I think the lore is better,
so it's just like,
let's just let motherfuckers
run real.
And it's like,
they probably do got some shit
there that they can't
tell you about,
so they're not like,
you know,
we can't let these motherfuckers
tour this fucking place.
Yeah.
We got things they can't know about.
They're making crazy weapons.
They're making all this shit.
Exactly.
But it ain't aliens,
but it's like,
all right,
let them talk about these things.
If I tell you that
and I dispel it,
I have to tell you the real shit,
and I can't tell you the real shit,
so like, So imagine being one of those motherfuckers, like, that knows, let them talk about it. If I tell you that and I dispel it, I have to tell you the real shit, and I can't tell you the real shit. So imagine being one of those motherfuckers, like the nose.
And you got to hear people talking shit.
You got people in Winnebago pulling up, telling you you're a liar,
you're keeping the aliens.
You're like, motherfucker, it's just another bomb to blow up brown people.
You know what I mean?
It ain't that crazy.
Yo, you think you got that?
Or Japanese people, offshouts to Oppenheimer.
Yeah, I can make that.
You got that, bro?
Yeah.
I got that.
One shot.
That was a cop.
I'm a good shot.
But it's a white guy.
You know what I mean?
Do you know how hard that is?
You mean, though,
it's an Irish guy.
He's fucking lobster red.
It's an Irish guy.
What was it, in September
or something like that?
Yeah, that's a good point.
September, yeah.
You already had the dot on his head.
His neck.
Are you kidding me?
That is the easiest shot in Texas that day.
100%.
I don't know, bro.
That's tough, dude.
Nah, you got it.
I got to see the grassy knoll.
We got to go out there, maybe.
Maybe reenact it.
Let's do Mythbusters.
This shit is mad, unremarkable.
Let's do Mythbusters for all assassinations ever.
That would be fun.
Oh, yeah.
The Lincoln one is...
Yeah, let's try that one.
Because that was point blank.
Mm-hmm.
That was point blank.
But how'd he get in there? Say again? How did he get in there, bro? He just walked in? No, because he try that one. Because that was point blank. That was point blank. But how did he get in there?
Say again?
How did he get in there, bro?
He just walked in?
No, because he was an actor.
But you can just get into the president's thing if you're acting?
Son, you're a comic.
Can you just walk into comedy clubs?
Yeah, that's cool.
Okay.
But if there's a president there, you would think that they would try to lock it up a little better.
Yeah, maybe they didn't think presidents were getting assassinated back then.
You know what I mean?
Bro, you got to think about that.
Oh, I see what he's saying.
How'd you get into the box?
The president, the most powerful man in the whole world,
that there's a civil war happening.
Not the whole world.
I mean, I'll be honest, I think the secret security was gay.
Nobody's into plays that much.
You gotta be gay to be in a play that much
where you're not even looking at facts, bro.
What is the service?
Yo, yo, what's the service?
We know what the secret is, what's the service?
Abe Link, 6'6".
Yo, we got some Hollywood divorce news.
Oh, and this is not surprising.
Hot off the press.
Who went viral last week, we spoke about it on the pod?
For posting pictures.
Oh, Selma.
The other one.
Sofia?
Sofia Ferraro.
Yo, Mark, pull up Sofia's Instagram right now, please.
We did.
We did this last week.
We talk about Sophia.
I don't think we talk about her.
Who are you talking about?
On Patreon.
Pull up Sophia, maybe it's Patreon.
Patreon.
Oh, it's Patreon.
So, yeah.
Pull up her Instagram.
Seven hours ago post.
I'll pull it up.
Crazy.
Just go to the second square.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
No, the next one.
There we are.
Oh, that girl's 50-something years old.
Yes.
She's having a grand old time.
Oh, ain't she a little tipsy, too?
Yeah, a little tipsy.
That explains the heat wave.
Nice job, Michael.
And then just dropped on New York Post, page six.
Divorcing after seven years, Sophia and Joe.
Were they together in Capri?
No, it says that she was there with friends.
Maybe this was her divorce part.
Maybe she knew that this story was going to drop,
and she's like, yeah.
Let me shut down the internet,
because I'm one of the most beautiful human beings ever.
Click on that little arrow. That's crazy. No most beautiful human beings ever. Click on that little arrow.
That's crazy.
Nah, but let me see.
Click on that next.
What 57 used to look like?
Goodness gracious.
My fucking goodness.
How old is she?
Come on.
51.
I mean, she is absolutely stunning.
That is 51, guys.
Tell your wives.
That is 51.
That is the expectation.
That's what we need out of y'all
at 51. Spread that
fucking word right now.
No, no, hold up. This is 51
now.
When our wives are 51,
you better look younger than you do now.
You better
go back in time
if this is 51
Not too much
Keep it in the 30s
You keep it in the 30s
But women are not allowed to age past 30 anymore
This is proof
Stay hydrated
I mean god damn
But are there any without a one piece
I want to see
Wait I just want to see. Wait.
I just want to see.
I just want to see.
Yo, you are a fucking insane producer.
Does she have kids?
Does Sophia have a girl?
I mean, she has one kid from her first marriage.
I believe it's a child.
The other one, she did bikini.
If they going to battle, you know she put this up to battle.
That's a battle.
She's like, oh, yeah, talk about that.
Other Latina, like, I got to battle.
Son, she getting divorced.
She ain't thinking nothing about Selma. Nah, that was. She's letting everybody know what's coming. That was a battle. I talk about that. Other Latina, like I got a battle. Son, she getting divorced. She ain't thinking
nothing about Soma.
Nah, that was...
She's letting everybody
know what's coming.
That was a battle, bro.
You don't think she knew
she was getting divorced
last week?
Yeah, but you also
got to know women.
She had the fucking
tickets to Capri ready.
You got to know women.
I just found out
that shit was called
Capri and not Capri.
Capri.
She want to be...
Capri.
Capri.
She want to be top Latina.
She want to be top.
Wait, who was coming close?
Soma?
Soma.
I mean... Everybody was talking about her. Nobody was talking about her. Soma's crazy. Soma might got the crown to be honest with you. She want to be top. Wait, who was coming close? Salma? Salma. I mean.
Everybody was talking about her.
Nobody was talking about her.
Salma's crazy.
Salma might got the crown, to be honest with you.
No, no, no.
All respect.
All respect.
This is all respect.
Yeah, bro.
Come on.
Latina's with fake accents?
Why you hating, bro?
I mean.
Why you hating?
They because they're actors.
It's her real accent.
It's her real accent.
Can I be honest with you?
The new accent that she can do is more fake than that accent.
Like, it's probably more natural for her to speak English with a Hispanic accent because Spanish is her first language.
No, I'm talking about the one they put on that makes them sound like even more Spanish.
Like in Modern Family, she's playing it up.
She's playing a comedic character, so of course she...
I don't think she's ever admitted to playing it up.
I think she says, this is how I speak. Do you watch the show at all? No. Because she'll playing a comedic character so it's of course she i don't think she's ever admitted to playing it up i think she says this is how i speak do you watch the show at all because she'll
call a helicopter that she doesn't know the words or she just does that's not what i mean i'm talking
about just the way her the way she pronounced it like yeah dude it's a fucking comedy man shut up
i don't i don't think you're looking at hers and chris has an accent
if i said this you guys would call me gay i. You guys are the car me gay for 20 minutes. That's true
I just forgot what a man is because he doesn't get seasick
This is unbelievable, bro, this is crazy. This is this is
That was some bitch ass shit.
I was like,
oh, she doesn't talk well.
Oh, if she talked better,
then she'd be hot.
Where's her stomach?
I gotta get this shit off me.
Come on.
This is fucking corrupting me.
It's changing you, son.
Yeah.
I mean, come on.
It's the toxins
that's getting into my stomach.
But now I am thinking
about the tummy.
That's what I'm saying.
There's too many one pieces.
There's something she hiding.
But I'm here.
I mean, she's absolutely going to be hot. Stunning. Let's take a look. Let's get in there. Let There's too many one pieces. There's something she hiding. But I'm here. I mean, she's absolutely gorgeous.
Stunning.
Let's take a look.
Let's get in there.
Let's get in there.
Solid.
God, you guys.
Get in there.
Get in there.
Get in there.
No, not from the bottom.
Get in there.
Oh, I thought that's the money shot.
No, I don't like that.
She's got a good arch, though.
She's just always in these wild fucking wedgies.
Not bad.
Ain't the money shot when they like that and then they spread them?
I don't like that at all.
That's too much.
That's perverse, dude.
That shit is perverse, bro.
It's unnatural.
So what are we looking at here? Can you give me the play-by-play?
Solid.
Solid, let's move on.
Solid, let's move on.
One more thing.
You think he's grifting for the foot community?
He's a foot grifter?
Yeah, bro.
Y'all are so jealous because you're not comfortable with him.
He's just trying to get the foot community on the side.
Ariana.
Yeah, I heard this one.
I don't give a fuck about that shit.
Which one is that?
Lindsay Lohan out of Beijing.
You don't know who Ariana Grande is.
Stop lying, dude.
Guys, we're going to end on this. Leo Messi is in Miami. the ponytail girl. Lindsay Lohan had a baby. You don't know who Ariana Grande is. Are you just reading TMZ? Stop lying, dude. I think it's breaking news.
Guys, we're going to end on this.
Leo Messi is in Miami.
A true Floridian, dude.
Just popped into Publix.
Just a normal guy.
Just a fucking regular guy. With the family.
No big deal.
So there was a video of him
walking around Publix with his family,
which is just like amazing pizza PR.
It's like letting everybody in Florida know,
yo, listen, he's here.
He's just like you.
He's walking around public.
Yeah, he got the tender some.
Oh, if he got the tenders, then I...
Now, but say the other part
where like the video came out
that like he almost immediately asked
for the car keys from his wife
and then just went back into the car.
I didn't know it was almost immediately.
From what I read,
he took a decent number of pictures
and I was like, I'm done.
He's like, I can't be normal.
Grocery shop?
Who does this?
I can't be around a grocery store.
It's probably been his entire life since he went grocery shopping.
The kid was sold in football slavery, child football slavery, to Barcelona.
Sound of freedom out this weekend.
Sound of freedom.
I got to go save these little child football kids.
He was sold in child football slavery to Barcelona at Sound of freedom out this weekend. Sound of freedom. We gotta go save these little child football kids. He was sold in child football slavery to Barcelona
at 13 years old? Maybe younger.
Something like that. 11, I thought, maybe.
So I don't think he's ever been to a grocery store.
When would he go?
Let's give him some credit. Could it
be, for a second,
I just want to see what it feels
like to be normal, and then immediately he's like,
nah, this sucks. Give me the car keys.
I'm out.
Yeah, that's what I think.
I thought you were saying it was a PR stunt where they were like, hey, go do normal.
No, he did the PR stunt.
And he was like, all right, I'm done.
We got the pictures.
See, I'm saying maybe he was just like, yeah, let's just take, let me just see what this is like.
Let me see what it's like to be normal.
Maybe he wanted to show his kids American things.
And then very quickly he was like, you know what?
This sucks.
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe, maybe.
I don't know.
But I think it's great.
It's great that he's here.
But there's no way
that he's going to be
shopping in public.
All Riel said,
I think he said
this is the biggest moment
in American sports history
or something like that.
Ariel Helwani tweeted something
that was like,
very, like,
this is a massive,
massive, massive deal.
I mean, it's a big moment.
Biggest in American sports history.
I would say biggest.
Miracle on ice. I mean, I love a big moment. Biggest in American sports history. Miracle on ice.
I mean,
I love Messi, but there's a lot of...
I don't know if it's a hockey thing, Mark.
But no, the geopolitical component
of the Cold War, bro. It's like
a great American sports moment. Yeah, I don't know.
What would you say?
People do say that, but
that's like a...
That's like a newsy thing to say.
If you were around at the time, what do you mean?
Yeah, like a newscaster says that because they're like, we got it.
Oh, I think you're like a newsy.
The greatest moment in American sports history?
America on ice.
I mean, how many people watched Muhammad Ali beat George Foreman?
Yeah, that's got to be up there.
I thought it was the Olympics where the guy...
That?
Very black answer, Al.
I forgot the name.
Jesse Owens.
Yeah, I thought that was the one.
You just fuck it.
I thought you could trust your boy.
It's hard to know specific things about people.
I thought you could trust your boy.
Who, your white boy? Oh, that's your boy, huh?
That was crazy. Can't trust these fucking Flor Who, your white boy? Oh, that's your boy, huh? No, I go. That's your boy.
That was crazy.
I see.
Can't trust these fucking Floridians, bro.
Come on, bro.
God damn.
He really did on that one.
No, but who is it, though?
I still don't.
He's a black panther.
I'm for his name.
The biggest thing in American soccer history.
Yeah, we don't need to know.
Oh, it's the biggest thing in American soccer history.
But what's the biggest thing in American sports history?
I'm trying to think.
It was iconic moments.
Game sevens and big boxing matches.
Oh, Joe Louis taking out Max Schmeling.
World War II, an American takes out the German in revenge
after the German took out the American.
First loss on Joe Louis' career.
You don't want to end this, though.
I like this, though.
You just spoiled it.
I like this.
No, Max Melling was a great man.
He hid Jews during the war.
He refused to go to dinner with Hitler
until Hitler made him.
You'd love him.
I like this.
Wait, so he beat up a guy that was helping Jews?
Mark.
You're a thorn.
Why did he do that?
You're a thorn, Mark.
Why would he do that?
You're a thorn. Why would he do that? Come on, bro. Just a thorn. Why did he do that? You're a thorn, Mark. Why would he do that, dude? You're a thorn.
Why would he do that?
Come on, bro.
Just a thorn.
What about Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier?
Which is such a funny way to describe it.
That's up there.
It's just like baseball, though.
I don't know.
Oh, George W. Bush pitching the first pitch after 9-11.
Fucking heater down the pipe.
Yeah, just like fucking Al Qaeda.
Yo, who had better aim?
Is that what you said, who had better aim?
Is that what you said?
Who had better aim?
That's who I was talking about.
Al just pointed to the headline, Jesse Owens
wins gold in the 36 Olympics.
And he's like, isn't that what I said?
That's what I was talking about.
You're talking about that, dude.
That ain't him.
You think that was 1936, bro?
Son, yeah, they just colorized it now for the don't say that word anymore bro come on do you just put all black history on one guy
we have to end this podcast that's not jackie robinson that's more luther king senior bro
come on michael jordan guys thank you so much for listening we love you peace