Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Schulz Says Sexism Saves Time | Patreon Sample
Episode Date: September 11, 2020This week Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia discuss Joe Budden and his dog, reflect on our 9/11 stories, prejudice is right sometimes, Odell getting pooped on, Skip Bayless' comments on Dak Prescott, how aut...henticity plays a part in comedy and much more. INDULGE! Want a new episode every week? Become a Patron! www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2
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Can I just say something real quick?
Y'all ever forced yourself to be open-minded,
and then when it backfired, you're like,
motherfucker, if I just trusted my goddamn prejudice,
I could have handled this shit so much easier.
Last night, Robbie and I are here working on this thing
that I can't tell you about just yet,
but you guys will know in the future.
We're going to this thing.
We order some food, some food from this Mexican
spot. I order it on Postmates.
Postmates is going to collect it.
It's not the delivery from the actual place.
I get it. I will put the order in.
It says Elvira
is going to get your food.
I go, Elvira?
That's odd.
I go, how's this bitch going to get my food? On a bike. I go,vira I go how's this bitch gonna get my food
on a bike
I go a girl delivery
never seen a girl on a bike
on a bike
she's gonna get my food
right now
my initial feeling is
this food ain't gay here yo
that's my initial feeling
but I go instead of canceling the order
like my loins are telling me to do
I go you know what
let me just give her a fair shot right yeah it starts pouring rain I mean like torrential down
oh yeah remember yesterday it'd be torrential downpour right I go look at the app I'm like
let me see where this bitch is right this bitch is just sitting under the bridge not the bridge
you know Broadway where the Williamsburg bridge. Not the bridge. You know Broadway,
where the Williamsburg Bridge turns into the highway?
Yeah.
I can see you're just sitting under the overpass.
The tacos are ready, Elvira.
Let's get the tacos.
Right?
She's literally just sitting there.
Right?
I know it's raining.
That's part of the job.
You're a piece of shit.
That's part of the job.
You signed up for this.
This is outdoor behavior. I agree. He's a piece of shit. That's part of the job. You signed up for this. It's outdoor behavior.
I agree.
He's a piece of shit.
I agree with him.
What happens if the football players don't want to go on the field during the rainy game?
So did you see how much it was pouring yesterday?
I did not see how much it was pouring yesterday.
Get a fucking umbrella.
It was like hurricane type rain.
Like you, wow, son.
Nah, bruh.
Nah, bruh. Let me back this up. Let me back this up. Let me back this nah but let me back this up let me back this up let me back
this up let me back this up right i knew she wasn't gonna do it she's going back and forth i
call this bitch right one ring click i go this bitch does not just hang up with me
my motherfucking food my motherfucking food is just waiting at tacomi
you know how much of a bitch
Hungry Andrew is?
Oh my God.
It's so funny to watch him
melt down when he's hungry.
Oh my God.
I go,
I send her a text.
I go,
let me just text.
Maybe she's,
you know what?
Maybe she's driving.
Maybe she's,
maybe she's biking
to go get the food.
Let me just send this
text, right?
She goes,
no response to the text.
So you know you're
getting a call again?
Yes.
You know you're getting
a call again, right?
I call, one ring, click. I go, this bitch done fucking, to text so you know you're getting a call again yes you know you're getting a call right i call
one ring click i go this bitch done fucking this bitch done fucking quit my goddamn ride didn't
you bitch i try to call post face post face don't even let you call them up literally cancels my
food an hour and 15 minutes in she's off the map i was right yeah i knew listen and it was just my
prejudice because she was a woman.
I knew a woman would
literally be looking at herself like, why am I
biking in the rain and still give people tacos?
I got pussy. The fuck is wrong with me?
I was doing this to get a couple extra bucks. It was nice
out in the summer. I just wanted to feel some breeze on my
bike while I deliver some tacos, make a few extra bucks.
That's not going to happen when it's
raining. A man. A Mexican
man. Elvira.
Elvira. My fool would have been there, bro. that's not going to happen when it's raining. A man? A Mexican man? El Viro?
Yo.
El Viro?
My fool would have been there, bro.
My fool would have been there and he would have recommended a better taco spot
to get them shits from.
But El Viro?
She ain't doing it.
She ain't doing it.
Nah, they can't put up with that discomfort.
They can't.
It's not in their body.
We've taught ourselves to be a man,
you got to suffer.
That's it.
That's what manhood is.
You go through shit. That's it. And's what manhood is. You go through shit
and you keep walking.
Walking off.
Go through the rain.
Don't be a bitch.
And girls are out here like
oh it's hard to wear heels too.
Come on now.
Come on now.
We don't need to compare all this.
Hard to wear heels too.
You know how hard it is
to decide whether or not
you need to posture up
with a guy who's looking
at your girl
cause she's wearing them heels.
You know how hard that is? You know what I mean? You ever see a guy who's looking at your girl because she's wearing them heels? You know how hard that is?
You ever see a big ass dude
look at your girl
and be like,
he's just looking.
He more than looking
now he said nothing
disrespectful.
Put your dick away, bro.
Come on, bro.
Put your dick away, bro.
Why are we taking out dicks?
Why are we taking out dicks for?
What's the purpose of that?
No, I'd be like,
maybe his dick was hot.
You know what I mean?
You're just air to air it out.
Why are you getting offended by this man?
It's a compliment.
Stop body shaming.
Man, his dick is sweaty as fuck.
You know, you just start cooling his dick out.
He's just wafting some air over his dick, man.
Cooling his dick down.
All I'm saying is sometimes prejudice works.
Yeah.
And I would have just canceled it right away. And you know what I'm going to do in the future? Ladies, I'm saying is sometimes prejudice works. Yeah. And I would have just canceled it right away.
And you know what I'm going to do in the future?
Ladies, I'm sorry.
If you're on a bike.
Oh, that's wild.
And you're delivering my food and you're a girl, I'm canceling it.
If you're in a car, I'll let you deliver it.
What if she got tattoos and short hair?
Are you implying that she's a lesbian?
I mean, she ain't far from a dude
um i still don't think she can make here's my thing you can't tell she got tattoos and short
hair from the pic you can tell probably she has short hair but if she did if you knew she did
what would you do if i knew she was a lesbian i'd let her deliver the food yeah you think she
could thug it out without a doubt not, 100% a lesbian could deliver the food.
I'll hold a lesbian up to any expectation I hold a man up to.
Because she's going to go that extra mile to prove herself.
That's G.I. Jane, bro.
It's like that Chappelle joke where the white dude and the group of black dudes is the scariest one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because there's no telling what he's done to get those black dudes respect.
That's that lesbian, bro.
That's that fucking lesbian, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
Holding her farts in so her clip pops up.
What?
Yo, you know what I mean?
Like them big clips, bro.
You ain't never seen a lesbian plug her farts
so her clip kind of blows up a little bit.
Come on, dog.
Stretching that shit like she's making balloon animals.
You know what I mean?
She'd be stretching her clit out. you know what I mean she'd be stretching
her clit out
you know what I'm saying
someone make a little
toy poodle
they stretch the balloon
first
that's what she does
with her clit
and then she tucks in
a fart
shoots out bro
come on
y'all don't know
about this
y'all never learned
about lesbians
y'all don't watch
the p-word
nobody told me
about that one
y'all gotta watch
the p-word bro
what's the p-word
pussy I guess, dude.
I think, what else is going to be?
The TV show?
Yeah.
I didn't know it was a TV show.
That's why I'm asking.
The L word, you fucking idiot.
I'm like, what the fuck is he talking about?
I don't know what it is, bro.
It's called the L word?
Yeah, the L word.
What does that stand for?
Lady ****?
What's that?
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