Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - ShxtsnGigs on Cheating, Immigrant Parents, & Sucking Your Homie

Starting point is 00:00:00 There's a British way to pronounce your name in an American way. Tell me how you pronounce it. Here, I think it would be Foo-Hud. No. They're Foo-Hod. Foo-Had. Foo-Had. Foo-Had.

Starting point is 00:00:10 And what do you think Americans would pronounce it? Yes. Yeah, like even for the Arabian people, for what reason? I have to be respectful, bro. I have to be respectful, bro. I have to be respectful. It's my Igbo brother right here. I'm Yoruba, actually.

Starting point is 00:00:22 I knew it was Yoruba, dude. He's like 50-50. He's like 50-50. He's like 50-50. I'm a Yoruba. It was three. It was three. What is it? Yoruba, Igbo, and then Hausa.

Starting point is 00:00:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the one? Who are the smart ones? I would say Yorubas. Yoruba. And then who are like the conniving ones? I can't speak on that. I can't speak on that.

Starting point is 00:00:40 I can't speak on that. Yoruba is nice. And then that's all you need to know. That's right. You're always like, we're educated. We're going to school. The house are the lazy ones. According to you.

Starting point is 00:00:50 And then what was it? And then Igbo is what? They're the ones that are always, they got the scams. They're the greatest scammers in history. According to you, bro. There's no truth to this at all. What is the stereotype? We're just speaking about like stereotypes. I would say stereotyp nigerians as a whole are scammers can i tell you

Starting point is 00:01:09 i wouldn't i've said this before what my dad told me one time and this was so like specific i didn't even think it was racist he goes let me tell you the two people you don't do business with ever nigerians and ismailis he didn't say black people and muslims he said nigerians and ismail which is like the smallest sect of islam he was like never trust them as far as you can throw them what's going on this is so specific i'm gonna choose to believe it why do nigerians have that reputation just a little scam shit i just thought they need money man there's there's six populist country in the world man there's too many of them yeah there's way too many of them yeah there's way too many of them.

Starting point is 00:01:45 And there's not enough funds going around. But does that same rep hit Britain as well or no? Not as much as here. No one there as much as here, but I would say... Why don't we have it here? I would say it's like at you, because we're Nigerian. It's just, it's going to follow us. We fall for the stairs.

Starting point is 00:02:02 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Facts. Yeah, facts, facts. But you can't switch that. We're switched on. Yeah, yeah. You know, we're going to climatize. gonna follow us yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Starting point is 00:02:05 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Starting point is 00:02:21 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, here's a question. Are there black people in the UK that are just black people? Meaning? Like, you're African.

Starting point is 00:02:31 You're Nigerian. Everybody leads with the ethnicity. You are nationalities before you are a race. Yeah. Typically. Like, you're not American. We got black people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:40 But you would never say I'm black first, right? I mean, yeah. You'd be like, I'm Nigerian. No, no, I say I'm black. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The subsector is just among black people. Yeah, yes.

Starting point is 00:02:50 Oh, so the whites out there just see you as black. They're not like, oh, he's Nigerian. He's Jamaican. He's... They are a bit, but like, not on like first introduction. Yeah. What do they say? No, first introduction is just black.

Starting point is 00:03:02 It's just black in it. Black is black. They say what they see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like... I think it's black in it. Black is black. They say what they see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is black in it. I think it's like, what is it? It's only recently in the last few years, because before, if you don't mind me saying this, it's true. It never used to be cool to be African in the UK.

Starting point is 00:03:16 Oh, this is facts, by the way. This is facts. In the early 2000s. And now with the Afro beats and shit. Yeah, exactly. I feel like it's fucked to be African now So wait, who were the coolest blacks before? Jamaicans

Starting point is 00:03:27 Okay, so the Caribbean Jamaicans ran black culture Yeah, for a long time From 2000 to 2010 Yeah, longer than that From like the 80s Oh yeah, true I'm talking about like When I was noticing it

Starting point is 00:03:38 Yeah, yeah For like a good decade and a bit Okay, and then Africans come on Yeah And are the Jamaicans taking a back seat? To be honest, don't be polite No, no yeah and are the jamaicans taking a back seat don't be polite no no i wouldn't say they've taken a back seat but i would definitely say they've taken a back no no not even necessary to more so taking a back seat not by choice i feel like nigerians have just like yeah force fed force fed the nation yeah there's way too

Starting point is 00:04:02 many of us son you had a thing you had a fucking there was a clip where you were talking about nigerians just speak so poetically in terms of like anger and hate oh yeah that's what you were saying what was it something my enemy what was it that means my enemies have succeeded anytime you're angry you say my enemies have succeeded i mean it's so good it's unbelievable there was this there was this white was this white dude. I think he was white. Maybe he was even white Nigerian. I'm not sure. But he was doing like a stand-up bit.

Starting point is 00:04:28 I don't know how it came up. And it was about a Nigerian pilot. Have you guys seen this bit? I don't think so. I don't think so, bro. Man, this shit was cracking me up, man. And it was, he goes, Nigerian pilots. He goes, Nigerians, we're so arrogant.

Starting point is 00:04:42 Or Nigerians are so arrogant. The Nigerian pilot walked on the plane from the back where does the confidence come from wait what's your background uh so my family's from uh well i'm half white and then my dad's from, well, I'm half white and then my dad's side's from Trinidad. So you're Trini? Yeah. And the white side is what?

Starting point is 00:05:10 Irish. Is Irish? Yeah. Okay, wow. Oh, in today's comment, you're a colonizer right now. Unfortunately. Oh, wow. The game is the game, bro.

Starting point is 00:05:20 I'm saying the game. That's fucked up now because Kendrick put that stink on you, man. But it's really not fair because the Irish got fucked too you're like you're double slaved you know right I know it sounds

Starting point is 00:05:35 it sounds it sounds crazy it sounds insane but it is factually true simply taters yeah bro insane but it is factually true simply taters yeah bro it's

Starting point is 00:05:47 you know what I mean both my parents they was potato slaves yeah for a second that shit's probably harder

Starting point is 00:05:56 to pick than cayenne if you think about it yanking one of the potatoes yanking one of the potatoes

Starting point is 00:06:02 off the ground or wherever they grow you ever seen an Irish dude one of them potatoes out the ground or whatever they grow. You ever seen an Irish dude's calves? That shit is fucking dirty. Get them taters out.

Starting point is 00:06:16 Yeah, that's jokes. That sounds like a racist term for Irish people. Taters. Taters. Taters. Taters. Them taters is crazy. Anyway, so it's fucked up that you would get you would get labeled a colonizer you know well you've been through it no one's ever called me a colonizer that's a very american thing yeah oh that is very yes very american thing i'm sure you're referencing what's happened with uh drake and kent for sure for sure for sure what's what

Starting point is 00:06:40 do y'all think about that is brit Britain taking a side? I think the, I think universally is, is like, you can't, you at the time when it was happening, you weren't allowed to give Drake any props because then you're, you're like, you're on his dick. If you're just like,

Starting point is 00:06:57 oh, this song's all right. You're like, bro, over here. Over here. Over here. Over here.

Starting point is 00:07:01 Over here. Over here. Over here. Over here. Over here. Over here. Over here. Over here.

Starting point is 00:07:02 Over here. Over here. Over here. Over here. Over here. Over here. Over here. Over here.

Starting point is 00:07:03 Over here. Over here. Over here. Over here. Over here. Over here. Yeah, A minor no A minor

Starting point is 00:07:05 A minor but yeah for real the Kendrick fans were diehards yeah yeah we made a we did a clip

Starting point is 00:07:13 we had a Patreon clip of just like where we were ranking okay I think this one won I think this one won I think this one won brother yeah

Starting point is 00:07:20 they cooked us the comments were like fuck these fucking guys bro yeah to give I mean we landed it on i think kendrick was winning we landed on a there kendrick three and a half drake three yeah and they still were not they were like fuck you yeah it was insane bro i thought drake's crazy love over there he does have a show yeah don't get me wrong like everyone like loves drake but just like when it came to that rap beef stuff it was like kendrick fans are just way louder yeah even out there yeah and they just picked the side and

Starting point is 00:07:50 run with it yeah 100 because didn't drake do the same shit out there like he hopped in the grime scene just to steal a little bit from it and then he was out but it's crazy how we're looking at is like steal a little from it because we are before this happened we looked at drake blessing people it was the i called it the drake stimulus pack it wasn't even like i don't even think personally stealing at that time because he like because in basically we have uh you know one dance yeah of course um that drake song is sampled from a funky house on funky house is a genre in in the uk that was like very popular for like a very small amount of time it never went international but we loved it at like 2009 2010 and like the biggest song we had in funky house was that song that he sampled and like that song

Starting point is 00:08:35 did more for funky house than like anything so we don't really think about it as like stealing yeah it's like oh wow like it's paying homage, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So why do you... It's so weird that there's hate even out there for Drake. Do you think it's just like being on the top, eventually there's people who build resentment for sustained greatness? Yes, long story short. Oh, 100%. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:56 Long story short, yes. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's doing so many side missions now, it's pointless. He's doing so many side missions. There was a phase, in my opinion, there was a phase he was either featuring or having people feature on his stuff,

Starting point is 00:09:09 where it's like, he doesn't need to be doing this. Right. And yeah, it just continued and continued and continued. People are hating on it, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it is a weird time. By the way, we're here with Shits and Gigs.

Starting point is 00:09:23 I don't know if I... Oh, yeah. Biggest pod in the UK? One-off. British podcast royalty. Actually, is royalty a compliment? Or is that a pejorative? How would you guys look at the term royalty?

Starting point is 00:09:41 In America, we just kind of use it when you're popular. We just use it. I don't even think we relate if you were like oh podcast royalty it doesn't even correlate to royal family but do you guys like the royal family are you like against them no one cares bro honestly you couldn't care less yeah really no one in england cares about the royal family is wait what's up with um kate is alive? I couldn't tell you. Didn't she have a thing? She got a C-bomb in her head.

Starting point is 00:10:08 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's lockdown. No one knows. No one knows. Yeah, no one knows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's sick, but no one fucking knows.

Starting point is 00:10:16 So do you think the royal family is losing their influence on culture? Yeah, I think they got like 50 years tops. Whoa. I think less. You think less? I think less. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's charged. years tops. Whoa. I think less. You think less? I think less. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:26 I think it's, if they don't even care out there, it's, it's not. If you, if you go to like, when it's stuff like the Royal Wedding and like the Jubilee

Starting point is 00:10:33 and all this kind of stuff, most of the people there are American. Like English people, we really don't care. That's what I was going to ask you. Like, is it valuable just to hold onto for tourism? Tourism.

Starting point is 00:10:42 A hundred percent. It does crazy stuff for tourism. Cause it's fun to look at yeah when you're walking around whatever buckingham palace is out there yeah beautiful yeah yeah yeah it looks sick as a tourist but like you know even guards know them no one knows wait why can't you know nothing you can't know them no one cares bro but like none of your boys is like i'm going out for the stand and still job. What are they like when they're not standing still all day?

Starting point is 00:11:10 To be fair, I ain't got a fucking clue. I think it's probably like a generational thing. I don't know anyone who's ever known a God. Facts. Ever. But that's like, you're asking the wrong guys. That's the whitest shit. Do they have black ones?

Starting point is 00:11:23 I've never seen a black one. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Because you know they be laughing. White guys can be like this, but if you start snapping on the black dude, he go, whoop! All this stuff that they do, if it was a black guy,

Starting point is 00:11:37 he'd go, whoop! Say that shit again! Say that shit again! Say that shit again they might need to do that they might need a little class that'll be hilarious That would be fucking funny That would be Nigerians

Starting point is 00:12:07 Nigerians love the royal family Nigerians love the royal family They just love Princess Diana I think every African loved Princess Diana Because she was for the people She was for the people What's the real reason bro Not 10 What's the real reason, bro? Not 10.

Starting point is 00:12:27 What's the real reason, bro? Every, like, our parents' generations who are African, they love Princess Diana. Oh, okay, okay. And they just, like, trickle down. Okay, I thought for the people was, like, she, you know, she likes it. Oh, no, no, no, no. She likes brown dudes. She likes brown dudes.

Starting point is 00:12:40 Yeah, she does like brown dudes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so that's it. It was just the Princess Diana. Everybody was seduced By her Nigerians were Well Africans period Africans period

Starting point is 00:12:49 Yeah Really Yeah cause she was Americans were the one Yeah we liked her Yeah but we liked That she was like A little bit of a rebel

Starting point is 00:12:56 Yeah bro That's the reason why Running in a race When she shouldn't Exactly exactly It's so easy to be a rebel When you're royal family Oh but you have to do

Starting point is 00:13:03 Nothing But it seems like towards your nails are on. Yeah, bro. Two kids came out of that? That's for two kids? And they ain't had gym culture back then. That's a good one. P90, there's no

Starting point is 00:13:18 workout shit at all. That's straight metabolism and depression. So why we don't love me that's metabolism and sadness bro look at that look how fit she is great so how do you feel about megan markel she's cool she's cool she stole your gin how do you feel about that i'm here for it i'm here for the cultural really yeah girlfriend effect yeah yeah you're into that yeah what's the black girlfriend they just come in and start fighting

Starting point is 00:13:47 nah bro you guys don't know about the black girlfriend effect yeah she just wait what is the what is the black girlfriend effect you just throw up the other culture

Starting point is 00:13:54 yeah so you'll see a guy who's had a black girlfriend all of a sudden he's got buzz cut like clean shape up he's too tall he's here

Starting point is 00:14:01 he grows up bro I like that I like that they shave their hair because they start losing it. Because they're so stressed being around this black girl complaining about shit all the fucking time. That's why they gotta shave their hair. White guys with black girlfriends, they step their dick up.

Starting point is 00:14:14 They grow a beard because there's more cushion when they get slapped the fuck out of. I think the black girlfriend effect, it might be a protective instinct, bro. You think? Do you guys, have you ever had black girlfriends? Yeah. Have you ever had white girls? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:33 Oh, wow. Okay. What's your favorite? We love them all. Yeah. We love them all. That means white. Yo, who gets here?

Starting point is 00:14:47 That means white. Hey, let me get a U.S. translation. Kendrick fans, get him! We love them all. That's royal English for white. Guys, we added second and third shows to a bunch of cities. The Life Tour, these are the last shows of the tour. We added another show at Atlantic tour. We added another show at

Starting point is 00:15:05 Atlantic City. We had another show at San Antonio. We had another show Denver. We had another show Cincinnati. We had another show at Salt Lake City. We had another show at Reno. We had another show at San Jose. We're also coming to Portland. We're also coming to Honolulu. That's where it's going to wrap up. We're also coming to Columbus and Cleveland, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Minneapolis. So you can go get those tickets right now at theandrewschultz.com. Grab them before they're gone. God bless. I will see you guys out there. And then we lock up this special and then it's game time. We appreciate y'all. Peace. All right, guys, I'm going to give you some dates as well. July 26th and 27th, Jacksonville, as well. July 26th and 27th, Jacksonville. August 29th and 30th, Honolulu. September, we got Vegas,

Starting point is 00:15:53 we got Miami, we got Lutherville, that's Magoobies, and we got plenty of shows. But more importantly, I want to talk about the chai shop that I have invested in. This is important to me, not only because it is owned and run and operated by my brother, Arjun Gupta, fantastic actor, and his lovely wife from India, from Assam, where they have some of the best tea in the world. Noticed there was a void of actual really good chai. No disrespect to anybody else, but we felt there was not truly good chai in New York. So they opened a chai shop. They also serve wine, but chai is the thing I'm focusing on. It's called Fontanious. It's in Dumbo, 28 J Street. Shub went there. Shub is from India. Shub, how did you like the chai? Fantastic. Let's go. And he said that unprompted. That's why I made

Starting point is 00:16:32 him say it. I'm so proud of my brother. I hope you guys go there. I hope you guys love it. I'm also invested. So, you know, you'll support me too, but just, just get the best chai in the city. Fontanhas. F-O-N-T-A-I-N-H-h-a-s i love y'all god bless let's get back to the show all right where's the where the hottest where the hottest white girls in all of uh great britain from penguins white girls in england bro uh i was in manchester what did you say i thought you said penis white girls yeah you guys need to step your we got the penis white girls here too Yeah bro I seen On the walk here bro

Starting point is 00:17:07 Did you get caught? Caught? Caught what? I don't know What happened with the penis white girls? Seeing that bulge from the back From the back like a bulldog? Nah I seen I seen

Starting point is 00:17:22 With the nuts are waddling from the back. A very attractive human, I think, was like mid-transition. Mid? Yeah, mid-transition. Are you describing it or are you saying halfway through? Like halfway through. Oh, I thought you were like, it's mid-transition, but it was mid. No, I'm not rating it as a transition.

Starting point is 00:17:42 Yeah, midway through the transition period. And I was like, oh, interesting. Yeah. Yeah, fascinating. Do you think we missed the colony? Or being a colony? Do you think we missed the motherland? I can't answer that question.

Starting point is 00:17:56 Do you think we're acting out a little bit? We're just like, oh, look at all my guns. But we really just want you to be like, you know, get in line. Look at my freedom of speech and my gun. Pew, pew, pew. But we really want you guys to be like you know get in line look at my freedom of speech of my gum but we really want you guys to be like okay settle down now back in the fold do you think that's possible what do you think about you like formally being part of britain how does that make you guys feel i was the most proud moments i had as an american knowing they used to be british yeah makes sense yeah fair play i stopped watching hamilton right when they invade as an American. Knowing they used to be British? Yeah. Makes sense. Yeah. Fair play.

Starting point is 00:18:26 I stopped watching Hamilton right when they invade. I go, I want to see where this is going. This looks crazy. Everything was good. Hilarious. That's a little tax. You get taxed more now

Starting point is 00:18:39 than when we were with you guys. That is true. You know? That is actually true. And when we were with you guys, we had all the You know? That is actually true. And when we were with you guys, we had all the beautiful things of British culture that you guys love and enjoy.

Starting point is 00:18:49 You guys have mad patriotism here, though. That's the best. It's given try hard. Talk to me about this. Talk to me about this. Talk to me about this. It's not infectious. I think it's infectious for you guys.

Starting point is 00:19:01 Yeah. You don't buy into it. It's blue pilly. You guys would, everybody would stand up for the national anthem at any given moment. And if someone's got a hat on, they'll fucking take it off.

Starting point is 00:19:13 It's too much. See, I didn't think I was that patriotic, but when you said hat on, I was like, why the fuck you got your hat on? Exactly, bro. Exactly. You got a hat, bro. Chill, man.

Starting point is 00:19:21 Some dude singing something. Who cares, bro? Bro, you gotta look. We're like Muslims about it. You are. You are. Anology. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:29 Anology. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anology. Because I hear it. Yeah, yeah, you are. I hear it. Yeah, you are. We're Muslims about America.

Starting point is 00:19:37 Yeah. What is that about? Why? Why? Because. Because what? It's just them. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:43 No, no. I don't think I'm needed Black people love the front like they don't love America And the second they leave they be complaining about where the fuck they go Oh there's no AC Shut up Sing the fucking national anthem Get on your knee now

Starting point is 00:19:57 Take a knee and fucking sweat out there The heat rise is taking me Taking me where it's cooler We need AC We need AC We love to bitch about everything have you ever seen a black person outside of america not complaining we complain there's not one video right there's not one say what they complain so you're trying to say it's them the the patriotism here is just is just fucking but y'all don't have a lot to be proud of.

Starting point is 00:20:26 We do. We have bad shit to be proud of. What do you have to be proud of? We made you, bro. What the fuck? Oh, my God. So this is it. Get him out.

Starting point is 00:20:33 Get him out. Get him out. Get him out. Get him out. Get him out. Get him out. Get him out. Get him out.

Starting point is 00:20:39 Get him out. Get him out. That's why I made why patriotism is high because we go there and y'all keep shitting on us and we're like, hey, fuck you, y'all. We made you both crazy. How dare you? That was hilarious.

Starting point is 00:20:53 You guys did a good job. It's interesting. But I don't know if you got to be able to hold on to the most valuable asset you got. Like y'all couldn't hold on to fucking Brunei. Bro, it's a weird... I'm not gonna love it with y'all. Y'all had the whole world on lock.

Starting point is 00:21:13 Sun never sets. It really never sets. It sets at 3.30 in December. Independence is an appealing thing, bro. And in this day and age, when someone says, we kind of want to be free. Who started that, though? Who did start it? I don't know. Who do you think started the idea of freedom and democracy don't answer it i think it was

Starting point is 00:21:31 because nobody even thought you could defeat the british army it's probably someone it was somewhere in europe probably brazil or some shit maybe it was brazil yeah probably i think it might have been brazil i think so. Yeah, it was something like that. But listen, I have a lot of respect for Britain. I think you guys were a formidable opponent. You tried your best. You sent your little Navy. But this is the thing as well.

Starting point is 00:21:54 This conversation is also like one of those like. It's funny just to make you guys defend Britain. I'm going to go back to my normal mindset and be like, I actually don't care. But you do. I don't care, bro. We did. care it's the olympics i don't care bro what do you guys care about what are british people allowed to care about football it's just football yeah we care about football i wonder that sometimes that like sometimes british culture when you're sober is is so repressive that you have to like find these vehicles to express emotion and the only place you can express it is football so then you get hooliganism then you get people going nuts and you know doing the whole paint in the face and everything because there's no other avenue that's acceptable so interest in take actually that's actually don't just feel that a little bit like i actually do i actually

Starting point is 00:22:37 do hear that that's an interest in take i've never it makes people very fucking expressive like because you have it in you and you want to be expressive yeah right but you just need an excuse because maybe it's like you had a stiff upper lip if you're sad hold it down if you're happy you hold it down valid that is valid just feeling something emotionally and having that like just fly out of your body the first reaction is should i is this okay now you guys are minorities so you have your cultural influence as well yeah yeah you know like for example in the states like the most emotional people are latinos yeah there's no restriction on any emotion if they feel happy about seeing their kid they can cry and nobody's like look at this fucking pussy crying yeah that's beautiful if they feel sad about losing they can all the

Starting point is 00:23:21 emotion can come out and i feel like british is like almost the opposite of that where it's just like keep it in very valid very valid as well yeah i've gone i could be wrong i'm not to be fair i'm trying to find holes in the in the argument i actually can't find it i'm sure i'm being reductive but but i wonder if there's a uh yeah i don't know and maybe maybe your guys show where you guys are so gregarious and you're having such a good time, you're showing so much emotion. To me, it's not surprising that it's so popular because I think a lot of people naturally do feel that way.

Starting point is 00:23:55 And then they see some guys reacting and sharing stories kind of the way that they want to react. And it makes them feel comfortable. And they're like, oh my God, these are my fucking. That's like the biggest feedback we get, for sure. Yeah. and it makes them feel comfortable and they're like that's like the biggest feedback we get for sure yeah so it makes them feel comfortable feeling the feeling feelings that they actually have yeah yeah i was thinking that could be one of the factors of your success is just like you're watching that different one it's like oh that's yeah so fun and especially if you feel like we're not as allowed to be and be watching these guys be so emotional yeah and talking about how you miss him all the time and just just so like, it's just so freeing.

Starting point is 00:24:26 If you're from, even for me watching it, but I'm assuming if you're from a more reserved culture, even more so. Yeah. I think it's definitely like a case of like the stuff that we talk about on our show and the way we are on our show is how we will always be within our friendship group. But yeah, you're right. No one will ever see that. That's like when we get together, we're in public we're not like that yeah i should have caveated that is that within intimate relationships i'm sure you can express that of course but what is the public facing persona and uh i feel like that exists in america with like you guys you guys uh have wasp

Starting point is 00:24:59 culture what's that like white anglo-saxon protestant this is like the last remnants of like british culture i think in america where there's like the elites that go to harvard old money types old money types and they have dual personalities right there's like this one like very refined uh small talk how are you how's the weather been the kids good all this kind of professional shit and then they have another personality which is like degenerate gamblers that are shoving zins in their fucking mouth and just having fun and that second one is probably of professional shit and then they have another personality which is like degenerate gamblers that are shoving zins in their fucking mouth and just having fun and that second one is probably more true yeah yeah yeah yeah you know so i wonder if you guys are showcasing this side that everybody

Starting point is 00:25:35 out there has but they don't a lot of times showcase it on tv or maybe even in film and then very valid that makes sense that makes sense yeah Fucking hell. We're peeling back layers. Very fucking valid. But the, there's some other creators out there that I've, that I've also watched that have, that they also are very kind of emotional. There's a,

Starting point is 00:25:55 you know, Chunks in Philly. Yeah, we love Chunks in Philly. Yeah. And like, obviously you know them, but like,

Starting point is 00:25:59 I feel like they're also, I'm watching them and I'm like, oh wow, they're very like emotional. They're showcasing, expressive. And to me, it's like way more relatable as an American watching it. And I think they're really successful out there too.

Starting point is 00:26:12 They're crazy successful, bro. But I think it's cool that you guys are sharing that side. The clip that made me a fan was the story of you cheating on your girl in college. Oh, and him. And him storming out of the club. Oh, you got to you gotta hear have you not heard this story it's so good yeah bro so like it was first year 2009 first year of college it was a tuesday

Starting point is 00:26:37 i'm not even capping it wasn't Tuesday bro yeah yeah Tuesday night we were out young I had a girlfriend you had a girlfriend too I had a girlfriend I decided to and then um

Starting point is 00:26:49 yeah we were out and then a girl that I used to talk to just got drunk she tried to get me drunk and she was just put like putting mad game on me

Starting point is 00:26:58 and I was like fucking hell and I was like 18 I don't know and then I remember seeing Fuhad across the club

Starting point is 00:27:05 And this girl Like sat on my lap And as She's here Trying to kiss me And I'm about to Cheat on my girlfriend I see Fuhad like

Starting point is 00:27:13 And like As soon as I saw it He turned around And like stormed off I'm throwing this girl off And I'm chasing him As if he's my girlfriend And I'm like

Starting point is 00:27:22 Bro bro bro Please please please He's like bro I can't even I can't speak to you I can't talk to you I can't believe i just i'm like bro please it's not it's not that deep i promise you but i had no choice i'm just drunk i'm not thinking straight and he's like bro you just fucking cheated like you're insane and i was like bro please please and i got so emotional i started crying and i was like please bro please bro please please i'm sorry

Starting point is 00:27:40 and he's like james like i don't i don't even know who you are anymore i don't know who you are anymore i don't cry my eyes out bro i don't know what the fuck i'm doing i've known it for two months yeah that's like a nice stamp of what our relationship looked like so you guys were fast friends yeah from the job from the job yeah yeah you met at uni yeah yes and why did you arrive so much off off the rip um we were the only us us ourselves and one of our other friends around with only um one of like maybe five black people in our class okay oh really yeah and that's what were What were you studying? Sports and exercise science. Yeah. What?

Starting point is 00:28:26 Yeah, bro. We just love sports. It was just a natural, don't know what I want to do. Yeah. We love sports and then boom. No, yeah. Yeah. But then why?

Starting point is 00:28:39 So I guess, I was just saying it's funny that there's only three black people. Oh, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, this is, don't get me wrong, on the sports teams. Yeah. You have it. Yeah. Okay. Got it, got you have it yeah okay in the class yeah but you know there's one other indian in a room i'll vibe with him but then and that helps but to sustain it and to make it what put the gas on the friendship besides that foundation i think our personalities we just we meshed in our personalities and um yeah i think it was just more that it was that and it was also like um we we it was like so intense like bonding wise like we would spend all day every day together

Starting point is 00:29:14 from like day one oh we're on the same course we we like we go to the gym together we eat together we'd live to be after the first year we lived together so it's just like it was like what you'd learn about someone in the case of after like 15 years we knew within like months right and then we're experiencing all the things we're experiencing in that time of your life in university like your first girlfriends like fucking around and having like pregnancy scares obviously cheating all this shit that's happening you're experiencing it all together and it's just like i think me especially like my life in university was a fucking joke like you just in terms of like all the dumb shit that you could possibly do as a teenager i did in the space of

Starting point is 00:29:55 like a few months and uh i think going through that bro that wrong? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, bro. It was like, what do you mean? Oh, brother. Uh, just like, just fucking around. What's the dumbest thing he's done? The dumbest thing he's done? Um, in uni. In uni.

Starting point is 00:30:14 I want to say it's the dumbest thing he's done, but I would say it's, it's one of the funniest things he's done in my opinion. Okay. Um, again, I wouldn't, I wouldn't,

Starting point is 00:30:23 I'm not gonna go too much into detail we were birdshot birdshot yeah oh fucking hell yeah go on go into the detail we were we were we had left we had just left a club we went to the chicken shop next door to get some food yeah and their girlfriend was at home his girlfriend at the time was at home jesus christ yeah so what i remember this there was chicken without your girl we've gone to the chicken shop next door there was like a campus she was away they didn't matter wasn't as offensive wasn't as much of a betrayal so i didn't sorry i didn't know the chicken go go go right so that. It wasn't his fault. The local campus whore

Starting point is 00:31:08 was in the chicken shop. She was cheek top. Yeah, her body was out of control. The local campus whore? Yeah. Renowned. What type of bodies? How many bodies are we talking about here? Oh, we're talking hundreds of bodies. At 19? Yeah. Oh my god.

Starting point is 00:31:24 She ended up being a corrections officer she was actually northern english she's like a nurse who knows yeah she looks after people healing energy yeah okay so yeah my girlfriend's at home we've gone out i've left my girlfriend back at the house that we're living in yeah we're out we go to get some food after this girl just comes up and was like are you coming that's all she said you coming she just walks up she walked up to me and was like you coming and i was like fuck yeah i was like yeah went back to hers uh clap cheeks and i think I had to run home

Starting point is 00:32:05 to not rouse suspicion were you there for this as well no no no I was there in the chicken shop and then I went you were what I was there in the chicken shop

Starting point is 00:32:14 and then I went home but you saw him go to cheat I didn't see the action of it but you saw him go I saw him leave I saw him leave I was used to it at this point

Starting point is 00:32:21 yeah have you been desensitized yeah I was I was fine no tears you were searching me forized yeah I was I was fine okay good no tears you've been searching me for me yeah I think he might have been he might have been doing his own thing

Starting point is 00:32:30 yeah yeah you learned I don't recall but yeah it could have been a dog time that's good bro so yeah

Starting point is 00:32:36 I think I'm just like girl what the fuck oh I just had to action like a micro cheat and then sleep with this girl and then literally get dressed and then sprint. It was like two miles.

Starting point is 00:32:48 Yeah. After like sprint home to make it in time for when these guys were going to get home at the same time. So that my girlfriend didn't know that they were home and I wasn't there. And like, that was like, that was at my worst. Yeah. That was, that was at my worst. How were the cheeks? Was it good?

Starting point is 00:33:04 Unbelievable. Really? She was really good. Yeah. She was, she was unreal. Yeah. That was at my worst. How were the cheeks? Was it good? Unbelievable. Really? She was really good. Yeah, she was unreal. Yeah. But yeah, yeah. Did your girl end up finding out? Well, when this comes out, probably.

Starting point is 00:33:14 Nah, she didn't. But she knew, like, I was a dog. Really? At that time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And do you kind of laugh it off? Like, if she knows you're is it, is it something you can be like, ah, come on, you know?

Starting point is 00:33:27 Nah, bro. To be fair, it was like, I was like the most immature human. So like, I, I didn't laugh it off. I was like, I was kind of like toxic to be fair. I would just like lie and lie and lie and lie and lie. Gaslight. Yeah. Then when I got caught, even, even when I, there was a time where she caught me, I didn't

Starting point is 00:33:43 even want to be with her. In the action? No, no, no, no. I think she like went from my phone and saw some messages. And I remember at that point, I didn't even want to be with her. But I was so scared of being the bad guy. Yeah. That I apologized and begged her back just so we could get back together.

Starting point is 00:33:57 And then when we got back together, I just, I didn't care about it anymore. And I just went off and carried on doing it. Fuck. It was fucked up. Yeah, it was real fucked up. Do you have anything to say to this poor girl? I've said all I need to say. All right.

Starting point is 00:34:11 All right, parents. Come see me at the O2 Arena. You missed out. You could have just let me cheat and had a lot of money. Have you guys had girls that you've been with in the past, like reach out now that you guys have this fame reach out uh like do they do they dm you like oh wasn't that so fun like i picked you up at the chicken place yeah yeah i've had those yeah yeah yes yes and no yes and i want to say reached out in a sense of like trying to get back together type of thing

Starting point is 00:34:40 just like what a crazy thing that was yeah yeah but i don't like to entertain it because it's more annoying than anything why why just because like why now like i get why now but like why now at the same time yeah so i just say because you gave them a gift like you got famous so that one night stand is something they can feel better yeah that's their claim to fame that's true yeah yeah's true imagine you just being broke and now they just suck some broke guy's dick after eating chicken that's a body on

Starting point is 00:35:13 that they don't want now it almost gets wiped off of their list it takes three off with it I get to brag about this you can buy tickets to one of their shows and be like I fucked half of that show has anybody ever fucked the full show? to brag about this. 100%. You could buy tickets to one of their shows and be like, oh, I fucked half of that show. Wait, has anybody ever fucked the full show? Nah.

Starting point is 00:35:30 No, we call that Eskimo Brothers. Okay. You guys don't have Eskimos. What do you call cold Asians? Cold Asians? Yeah. What? Cold Asians. That's what they fucking are, right? They walked over here from China

Starting point is 00:35:46 and they stayed in the fucking snow so they're ice we don't get that deep into it to be fair but I'm not going to lie to you but y'all never shared a body though we've never shared a body the girls that fancy us don't they don't cross follow me

Starting point is 00:36:01 they don't cross follow me the girls are very specific in terms of... The girls don't want the dark, and the girls don't want the light. Got it. It helps. You don't think there's one girl out there that has taste for both?

Starting point is 00:36:17 I get DMs all the time, like, want to train on me, please? All the time? Like, daily, bro. Jesus! Wow. You sound like the ultimate fuck bro. Jesus. Yes. Wow. You sound like an ultimate fuckboy. And you sound very nice. I need to hear a fuckboy story.

Starting point is 00:36:33 I feel like you were raised very religious. Am I wrong? I was. Yeah, I actually was. What religion? Islamic. Muslim. Yeah. Yeah. So I, yeah, Fuhad, I assume. He's a Christian. Can I not dab him up i like the belief so i have a feeling you came into maybe university with holding on to that

Starting point is 00:36:52 a little bit more oh that's why the cheating thing and then you found out you're handsome and it's like well someone made me handsome i think the thing is i am and i am i was a dog in my past i have been a dog I have been like I've cheated everyone this that and the other but it's one of those ones where I feel like I don't know I just I just haven't been as much of a dog as other people have been and I feel like when it comes to like shit stories I'm mostly fucked up when i'm in relationships which is bad because i i want best of both worlds sometimes got it but it's one of the ones where again like i'm a coward i can't break up with someone yeah i'm terrible at shit like that yeah so it's probably one of

Starting point is 00:37:35 those ones it sucks in it it fucking sucks no no no terrible i'm breaking up with people so it's because you don't want to be the bad guy no i don't want to be the villain in their story you know i mean and i don't want to be the villain i'll just cheat on it yeah just like the villain just don't see me like that but i come home to a loving family you know it's one of those ones man but there are some exes that will tell you i'm not a good guy for sure yeah for sure when did you become less uh i don't want to say less religious, but like practicing? Pretty early, to be fair. Do you miss it at all?

Starting point is 00:38:11 No, not really. In my current life now, no. Because religion, Islam was somewhat forced onto me because of my family. Yeah, yeah. And when I say forced, like, well, my parents are Nigerian Muslims, so they practice and they want us to practice and blah, blah, blah. So they said we should go to Islamic schools on and on the weekends they like to learn the religion things like that but it wasn't interesting for me I did it because they asked me to do what they told me to do right um but after that I felt like you're sweating by the way yeah is there yeah have we got

Starting point is 00:38:40 you're sweating bro that's what we bro Miles can you ask him for a little He started thinking about them types cheating What was I? Just talking about your relationship Yeah man it just Didn't really do much for me and I felt like again this is no Take on anyone that is religious or whatever

Starting point is 00:39:01 I just feel like the time in my life I was going through I just doesn't't really fancy religion in the slightest. I can appreciate the fact that I am, my family are religious, but I don't practice. And I say that if people ask me, oh, I'm naturally Muslim or I'm born Muslim, but I don't practice. Can I ask you guys a question?

Starting point is 00:39:17 Yeah. You've noticed like Arabic words becoming part of like a popular vernacular lexicon. Is that Arabic influence in like British culture and maybe Canadian culture? Or is that African influence? Like inshallah is just like a thing everybody says, regardless if you're Muslim or not. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:39 What do you think, where does that come from? When did this become popular? Popular? I can't speak for, I think obviously there are massive. Wallahi. What do you think? Where does that come from? When did this become popular? Popular? I can't speak for... I think, obviously, there are massive... Wallahi. You hear a lot of people say.

Starting point is 00:39:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mashallah as well. Mashallah, yeah. I think, like, you referenced, like, Chunks and Philly earlier. Yeah. Chunks is... A devout Muslim.

Starting point is 00:39:58 A devout Muslim. Yeah. So, like, he will use a lot of Arabic words. There's a big... In terms of, like, UK YouTubers... Yeah. There's a huge, in terms of like uk youtubers yeah there's a huge um like muslim community now on youtube and like in social media and stuff like that and it is becoming so if you're influencing culture and that is part of your culture yeah everybody's

Starting point is 00:40:17 gonna take on those things yeah for sure man got it got it and that's happened in your adulthood or even in your childhood, you notice that? Because I didn't remember hearing it when I was a kid. When I was a kid, it did not happen for me at all. Adulthood, for sure. I feel like two years ago. My Muslim friends would say it all the time. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:31 But I started hearing other people, like, y'all would say it on the text. And I was like, are y'all making fun of it? What's going on? And then I found out it was, like, slang now. Yeah. Is that weird to, like, maybe as a kid, I don't know how you grew up or what your community was, but to feel, like, almost like I'm different for having these beliefs or having to go to like Muslim school. And then I felt different. All these white kids are saying, uh, inshallah.

Starting point is 00:40:53 Because I don't practice, I don't necessarily give a fuck. Right. But if you did, you'd be like, yo, where was this? If I did, I may have a different connotation about it, but I would definitely say, I agree with your point. Like back in the the day it kind of felt like very different being muslim because everyone around me was christian yeah everyone around me was christian so it felt very and again because it wasn't something i truly believed in it was something my family told me that oh we should do because you know well my parents are muslim this daniel and my sister practiced a lot and she still practices now so it was one of those ones where i was always being compared so for me it was more

Starting point is 00:41:29 the more i got compared the more i wanted to repress on it you got brothers in your family no just a sister just me and my sister and and the parents were very like this one is the favorite i want to say the favorite but more so like level-headed whereas i was more like more of a scatterbrain yeah so i do feel immigrant parents love to compare if it's not this kid is at this program what do you know i mean why aren't you like him you get a lot of that it's it's it's soul destroyer sometimes especially when you tell me what the craziest shit that they said was it's not the thing is it's not crazy it's when you like deep back at it and you think why why would you even say that to your child then when you

Starting point is 00:42:12 actually think about it as an adult it's like i don't care now but like give me some good shit so i could fail a test for example like a math test and i enjoyed maths back in the day i could fail a maths test and my dad would be like did the person that got first um have two heads it's like why the fuck are you telling me this more like try and help me bro i just i just hated i think every african just hated being compared it's just natural it's natural for our parents generation to compare their kids to other people yeah it's natural a lot of similarities yeah it's natural bro it's jarring jarring is annoying i got it yeah that's fucked i would get they're doing this and what are you doing yeah they wouldn't they wouldn't just say they're doing this guy's in this class and this class is getting all this and what are you doing yeah i'd get up

Starting point is 00:42:59 more with my sister because my sister again like i said straight narrow-headed blah blah blah and i was a bit more wayward most i love sports i didn't really focus on education this that the other and yeah the comparison used to fuck with me that's crazy my mom would coddle the shit out of me she's like ah maybe you just had a bad day or something it's also why there's no electrical grid in Puerto Rico Fuck you Every time it goes out there No it's okay You know what Wow

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Starting point is 00:45:47 I got a bone to pick with Fuhat. Okay. It's Fuhat. Fuhat, yeah. Fuhat. Yeah, but we're in America. Wow. Fuhat.

Starting point is 00:45:58 Fuhat, sorry. What's up, bro? Fuhat. You had mentioned something on a recent episode y'all did that when you're taking a shit. Oh, this is wild where where do you rest your i still rest my dick on this on the seat that i sit as way far back as

Starting point is 00:46:11 i can you're a fucking liar i don't believe it you're a liar i don't believe it you're a liar and that's literally not my problem yeah because i'm not trying to convince anyone I was when I saw the comments on that. Hold on. Look at his end, Mark. How much of your dick is on the... They got shitty toilets over there that are too shallow. If you let it hang, it's touching the water. No.

Starting point is 00:46:36 You got to pay to take a shit. No, no, no. Your water comes all the way up here, bro. Jealous? Jealous because yalous, bro? Jealous because y'all got no water? You got to pay for it? I'm not going to pay to take a shit.

Starting point is 00:46:51 Fucking hell. Bro, you're a liar. I'm so jealous. I promise you, you don't sit in the back of the toilet and rest your cock on the seat. I promise you I do. You don't. And then when you got to pee, you tuck it back in.

Starting point is 00:47:02 Why don't you just leave it there after peeing? Because it just feels weird. Do you have high set balls what do you mean like are your balls high set to the point where it like pushes your dick out maybe yeah i have high set balls i have high set balls that's the thick so i don't know what to say you know what that's a detail i didn't ask but now i'm thinking about it oh is that for real? What do you mean your balls are thick? Do you mean the actual outer coating of them are thick? Like, what is a thick ball? I know what it is. They're just there, bro.

Starting point is 00:47:32 Are we talking about the sack or are we talking about the actual... Like, is your sack's skin is thick? No, no, no. Is it like one of those, like... We're going too much into detail. No, you brought it up. You did bring it up. No, you brought it up.

Starting point is 00:47:44 To be fair, he brought up an old podcast clip of you bringing it up you did not like you brought up but he brought up an old podcast clip are you bringing it up i do have no i'm being serious okay well his question yeah are your balls so high that it pushes your dick forward like does your dick hang down or does your dick go out out and down so it's out and then down so it has to clear the testicles. Yeah. And then it goes down. Interesting. Oh. This is crazy. That makes a lot more sense. You're a high set balls guy. Yeah, that makes more sense as to why you do that. Even public toilet though?

Starting point is 00:48:11 You would do it on a public toilet? I don't shit in public toilets. Ever? Ever. I can't remember the last time I have. Come on, dude. If I'm at Chick-fil-A, I order my Chick-fil-A. And you have a milkshake and then it comes.

Starting point is 00:48:22 I've had a milkshake once. I don't think I'm going to have it again. That fucked me up, bro. That fucked me up. Wait, why did the comments bother you on that clip so much? What were the comments saying? Because he knows what he's doing, man. I didn't know what I was doing.

Starting point is 00:48:36 I sit all the way back. I lift my fat dick. I pull it off the edge of the toilet. And all the comments were like, and that's on soft. And that's on soft. I was like, this guy's a fucking liar, bro.

Starting point is 00:48:49 No way that's on soft. That's what I'm saying. You shit with a boner? You shit hard out? No, I'm just saying, I thought he was talking about that. Why you shit hard? Because you feel it when you first wake up in the morning.

Starting point is 00:49:00 You feel that stretch. Once you feel that ass stretch, you get bricky. When you get the bidet and it's just sprinkling up there, like, fuck you. I know what bothers everybody about what you say is I sit as far back as I possibly can.

Starting point is 00:49:15 That's crazy. You lounge on the back, you put your arm on the back. I rest as far back as I can, bro. So you sit all the way up against the tank, and then your dick just hangs all the way over. It's on the tank, man. How many centimeters is your joint? Wait, y'all been friends for mad long.

Starting point is 00:49:34 You never seen each other's dicks? No. Man, come on, bro. I sat down. Have you seen each other's dicks? Y'all were in sports school shit. Yeah, you played sports together. You cried together.

Starting point is 00:49:44 No, that's also another... You said you would suck it twice to get venom out of it. I would suck it twice to get venom out of it. What? If you're chatting the way you're chatting, that's going to be like four strong sucks. That's going to take... If it's the dick you're perceiving, everyone, that's going to take...

Starting point is 00:50:00 What was that hypothetical? If he got bit in the dick by a snake and the only way to save his life was to suck his dick, would you do it? And then James goes, I'd suck it twice just to make sure. Yeah, 100%. One per fang. One suck per fang. Make sure all the juice is out. That's friendship.

Starting point is 00:50:21 And we didn't ask if this was okay with you. Are you okay with him doing that it's gonna save his life though we had this conversation i said i wouldn't do it you wouldn't do it but i feel like let me do it at your length i wouldn't let him do it i wouldn't have a choice oh i would you wouldn't you wouldn't let it and do it no he'd let me he'd let me work i wouldn't let him but you're letting me bro you're not stopping me but i can stop it exactly so you're letting me yeah we didn't think you were doing it for pleasure you just want to continue living beautiful life and career ahead of you i'll let him do it that's great he's not giving him consent

Starting point is 00:50:55 to say his life is so then so the afterwards he'd be like yo he just did that That gay motherfucker took advantage of the situation That's fucking crazy Yo, the fact that you're holding on to this Just in case you get bit by a snake When he's around is amazing That is phenomenal foresight You gently put your hand on my shoulder And as soon as I move your hand You're like

Starting point is 00:51:17 Save me Clearly you care about this a lot Yeah, I know exactly how it would go. No way! Yeah, would you for him? Nah! You let him die? Well, he's supposed to know how to charm snakes or whatever.

Starting point is 00:51:31 Why the fuck is a snake biting him? You know what I mean? You should have stopped that in the act. Fair. Fair. I suck his dick to save his life. Thank you, bro. I appreciate you.

Starting point is 00:51:41 No questions asked, dog. No questions asked. Now you're going to make me feel like an asshole. I don't know. I haven't seen it yet. There's a whole thing. And also, not. I appreciate it. No questions asked, dog. I don't know. I haven't seen it yet. There's a whole thing. Not if it's soft. I know you wouldn't.

Starting point is 00:51:50 No, I wouldn't suck. I wouldn't suck his own dick. He wouldn't suck his own dick. He'd just die. He'd just die. You would just die? You wouldn't suck his... this man got a baby dog yeah i got a child but no father

Starting point is 00:52:09 your wife got it she's not around she's looking after the baby me and you are in a forest no i mean she could hold a damn single pair Oh shit My daughter needs me bro What if the wife was on FaceTime She's like are you saving his life We just met You just had two Months of you meeting you crying over this guy So where

Starting point is 00:52:37 Deep into the podcast right now Me and Andrew were friends for two months On the snake bit I'm sure I would suck the venom out, bro. I think you just like sucking dicks, bro. You're a good man. That's a real one right there, bro.

Starting point is 00:52:53 You look like this girl with no father. You are a piece of shit, dude. You're a fucking monster, dude. I don't think I'm going to do it with enough... I bet that girl in the movie had somebody could have saved her dad's life. Then my fucking got bit by a snake. I don't think I'm going to do it with enough. I bet that girl in the hoonies had somebody could have saved her dad's life. That motherfucker got bit by a snake. I don't think I'm going to do it with enough effort to actually get the venom out.

Starting point is 00:53:08 No. I don't care enough. Like, I'm going to be like, that with us. That's even worse, folks. That's what I'm saying. I just want you to remember this when you're considering godfathers.

Starting point is 00:53:17 This guy is out. I would be a good godfather. Yeah. Yeah, it was never a consideration. He's not responsible enough. I wouldn't make me my own kids. Matter of fact, you stopped being a father a couple times. Yeah, I can't.

Starting point is 00:53:36 Mark, you wouldn't suck Andrew's dick to save his life? Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Make it about Miles. Why would I get my dick sucked? This should feel more acceptable. Why not? It's making my miles. Miles, would you suck Andrew's dick to don't know if i could do that i would at least try to push it out you've been there we go yeah i would push it out and then while i was pushing

Starting point is 00:53:59 why ain't you doing this why i gotta push it out i would have hey fuck that i would have good form dog oh come on dude i hear it bro why is the snake biting you are you spitting on it too like are you gonna make it fit are you gonna try to make it feel good or you're crazy that's not crazy that is crazy am i am i an antidote or am i an antidote no you have to cauterize it. Yeah. You have to cauterize it. And then stop the flow. Stop the flow. And then get to work.

Starting point is 00:54:32 You take the belt off. Tie up that tourniquet. I'm saving lives out here. Oh, my God. Yo, we need more of these hypotheticals. What other good ones y'all had? Mark had a few. Yeah, you said you'd do a stint for me, right?

Starting point is 00:54:54 The other day. Yeah. A short stint. How long? Short stint. Between one and two years. So you're sucking regardless? So yeah, you wouldn't suck dick to save his life,

Starting point is 00:55:04 but you'd get fucked in the ass to save his life? The thing is, I'd get... You know, like, I wouldn't... You'd be the one fucking. Nah, because I'd probably get forced more than anything. What does that mean? You know what that means. You think a guy would violate you? In prison? I don't think...

Starting point is 00:55:19 I don't necessarily think I would want it to happen, but... It's prison. That's my point. You wouldn't suck his dick to save his life but you would get fucked in your ass it's non-conceptual go to jail for him yeah facts really yeah someone they see his dick in the shower they don't want to get fucked by the broads that lips those lips as well and that skin yeah it's long

Starting point is 00:55:49 why'd you bring up his lips just saying I thought we were talking this is crazy hold up hold up what is it about his lips though I think he got better teeth than lips to be honest with you

Starting point is 00:56:11 yeah teeth are sensational as well thank you bro when he was getting emotional when he saw you almost cheat for the first time and his lips were like just kind of shaking a little bit what was that like for you? I was tall, man, bro.

Starting point is 00:56:28 The self-restraint was mental. Self-restraint. Do you guys have a lot of gay fans? I think so. I don't know about a lot. But are there guys who are also hitting on you guys

Starting point is 00:56:47 I wouldn't say actively hitting but sliding in DMs and stuff nothing that crazy though one thing I will say that I've noticed, it even happened yesterday is that straight guys will happily call us daddy now

Starting point is 00:57:03 that's facts and why is that? just because we call each other now facts that's facts yeah yeah and why is that just because we call each other daddy and shit like that oh it's part of the it's part of culture yeah yeah it's just a thing where you he said he was doing some fitness competitions like if i lose i won't call myself daddy for six months and then he goes no no no three let's yeah yeah 100 100 oh i thought that was something you guys just did on the pod that's uk culture everybody's no no no no guys will say that oh okay what are some other things that you guys have influenced culture by like the things that have popped off on the pod that you've seen

Starting point is 00:57:37 become quite uh i think so like we say facts a lot facts and it's like yeah little things that we say you know what you say that i pick up on that that always sounded raw when you're like when he's riled up and he wants to like he's like raw and i don't know what the fuck that means but it's just like an exclamation yeah it's like an exclamation point yeah yeah yeah it's like sun so yeah it exactly yeah and one thing i will say there was one time right And this is interesting People take it And leave it how they want Just in terms of like

Starting point is 00:58:08 If Like this kind of conversation That we've just had Is funny to do here But like publicly Especially in the UK Like you can't have That kind of conversation

Starting point is 00:58:18 Because it's so out of context Yeah it's crazy You can't have that kind of Especially like With teenagers and shit like that So like It's inappropriate Or you would get backlash for Like if you take a black teenage group of friends yeah talking about

Starting point is 00:58:28 sucking dick to save lives it's not even entertaining entertaining gay jokes haven't uh approached uh black culture in the uk yet it's not that they haven't been approached it's just it didn't make it through the door yeah it was like that with american blacks until i would say like two years ago okay and now american blacks have like taken over the gay joke discourse. Well, we said like- Not taken over. Stop it. You guys got a stronghold on it.

Starting point is 00:58:51 No, but like y'all are really bringing it. Y'all did appropriate that, honestly. Shut the fuck up. This is progress. I like this. There's some progress, but you still got a stronghold on the gay humor. We've just been doing it for so long that we've built up.

Starting point is 00:59:07 You're comfortable with it. Yeah, we're comfortable. But now that black people are like, oh, it's funny to pretend to be gay in America. And in America, black people dominate culture. So now that they're doing it and they're going next level, it's really cool.

Starting point is 00:59:21 The barbershop ones are phenomenal. Have you guys seen that one? Where the guy's cutting hair and he just keeps... Oh is a vulnerable and he was like trimming under here and he goes lift your head up and i lift my head up he's like a little bit more and then he put his fingers under here made i i opened my eyes like that he was looking i was like you fucking prick but um so you're saying that within like younger teens there's more like pause culture

Starting point is 01:00:08 still popping it was probably like six months ago we made a clip where I asked him what would he get me for Christmas if I was your girl what would you do for me for my best Christmas present and he told me and I made a joke I was like oh you want me to suck the skin off your dick and then the teacher he's circ though you know

Starting point is 01:00:30 yeah so that's actually gonna be taught but i see um a plus cultural a a teacher she teach like uh year nine so like ninth grade she came up to me she was like oh the weirdest shit happened is that she was in class and one guy one one of the kids uh one of the black kids us another kid was like oh bro i probably if you give me a pencil i'll suck the skin off your dick and then everyone in the class was laughing and like she was like wow that's because of that clip that you said. Whereas like, no, like there will never be another time where someone can make that kind of sauce joke and not get smacked. And now it's like more like, it's just funny to do it.

Starting point is 01:01:15 And she was like, I've never seen anything like it. Were you always cool with those jokes or like? Now to be fair, it was more about, it was actually starting the show that made me more comfortable yeah talking shit about whatever and like being a bit more vulnerable uh and a bit more like pushing it a little bit yeah in terms of just like it started off like talking about like our insecurities and shit like uh not that tall or this or that and that and then you realize that oh it's just it's all jokes yeah everyone finds it funny it's also what everybody feels exactly it's exactly what everybody is feeling everyone yeah and you just get like more reinforcement of just like everyone feels

Starting point is 01:01:51 the same everyone feels the same so then you push it a little bit more and then you yeah and then you can make like a ridiculous joke and then all of a sudden everyone's making the same joke and you're like oh raw like this that's that's fucking now the stakes have been reduced yeah you don't feel like it's taboo because everybody's in on the joke yeah clip or episode or moment where you're like oh this is this is culture yeah what was the first moment where you're like oh shit culture like this impacted it went viral wow we got something and even just like oh this is the fun part of the pod this is the fun of the pod this is what it is i would like to know both oh man it definitely would have been a time of a role play or something,

Starting point is 01:02:26 but I can't necessarily think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know when I said role play, your mind went elsewhere because you're a dirty motherfucker. Yeah, get back in the room, bro. Yeah, get back in the room. Get back in the room.

Starting point is 01:02:37 Okay, okay. I'm a snake and you're a dick. What do you mean? Actually, to be fair, it was probably um do you miss me that clip yes yes that went crazy and even till now like that's like over a year ago that was probably like two years maybe yeah and then like even till now every comment on every like the top comment on any clip they ever do is like do you miss me when you're when i'm not around and like that one is like till now because it was talking about our other friend toby like people come up in the street it was me talking about being jealous that he spends time with toby so even now like strangers will come up to me like oh where's toby i was like

Starting point is 01:03:16 bro that's two fucking years ago yeah like what the fuck and that was that was definitely for me that was the one i was like damn you know it's funny when i think about your guys show and and like the numbers you guys are doing it's not it's obviously not only in the uk yeah but if you think about it within the amount of people in the uk it's a pretty large percentage of the people like if you do an episode and it's getting hundreds of thousands of views millions of views whatever it is and there's what 19 million people in the uk how many people are 64 million in the uk but just i'm sorry just in england how many oh in england oh fuck no but yeah probably some summer yeah but still that's like a good percentage so the chances of you walking down the street and somebody saw an episode especially within like a younger demographic are pretty high oh yeah bro of course so these the things that you say

Starting point is 01:04:03 the chance are they are understand they are knowing they are impacting culture yeah whereas like if you're doing the same numbers in china it can be a huge pod but a million out of two billion yeah yeah exactly it's not gonna be the same kind of recognition i hear that so you guys might be like objectively much bigger within the uk because of the amount of people there that are watching it yeah i get you right do you feel that way yeah 100 like we definitely like it's it's the reason it's funny you say that the reason when we started the podcast we started the show like five years ago and the reason one of the reasons i wanted to start it was because at that time podcasting from

Starting point is 01:04:41 the way i perceived it was like very niche that you could be very well-known and famous within a very small and you can live off that and you can walk down the street and no one bothers you and only people who know who you are know who you are and you're like,

Starting point is 01:04:54 you're living the best of like both worlds. That's the ideal. Yeah. And now our life is not that. It's not the same. It transitions. Yeah. Like going out on the street,

Starting point is 01:05:00 we can't go to restaurants. You don't go out. Don't really go shopping. Oh, really? You can't do nothing. But there are are advantages like if you want to go to a restaurant all of a sudden yeah of course you get the resi and yeah yeah yeah and it's super helpful like even like coming here like like the tsa agents and stuff like that they recognize so that makes like america's our biggest audience yeah but really by numbers because we have so

Starting point is 01:05:21 many yeah yeah but yeah but y'all are selling out they're doing town hall here yeah so tell explain yeah explain to me what the live show is because you guys aren't stand-ups as far as i'm concerned yeah so what do you do in the live show i'm always curious about who who is who is the best live podcast we try to make it more interactive yeah we try i think that's smart yeah for sure so give me an of what it would look like, the live show. Okay, cool. So if we took... This feels like I'm trying to set you guys up to pitch your tour.

Starting point is 01:05:49 I'm genuinely curious. I'll tell you what we did for the O2 show. Because that's different. That's fine. Yeah, sold out. Bob, Bob. Bob fucking Bob. But yeah, explain what the live show is and how you make the podcast live the most engaging.

Starting point is 01:06:04 So I think for us, it's easier because our show is very like segment based. So we can, we have the opportunity to mix and match. So we can do something that's like very, very out there and very, very like not close to what we do in the studio at all. And then we can be like, okay, cool guys, something, you know, let's sit down. And then like, it was so crazy in the O2, because that we did, we have like a segment called Confessions. And then when we sat down in the O2,

Starting point is 01:06:29 it was like, cool, time for Confessions. Sit down and you could hear a pin drop. And everyone was silent. Because they're locked in. And they're locked in. Because they're like, okay, cool. This is like the podcast. This is what I'm used to.

Starting point is 01:06:39 And are you guys going to confess or do you bring people up to read? No, we read like Reddit or things like that. Yeah, just Confessions that have been submitted to us and all that kind of shit and then one of the segments that we did there was like uh story time so i told like a 20 minute story but to make it more applicable for them we had it animated so we had it on like a big screen so we had the whole story animated so as i told the story it was like the animation was going on like that and again like completely like engaging engaging i couldn't hear initially, you guys public speaking.

Starting point is 01:07:05 Is that something you're comfortable with? You're performing in front of thousands of people. Now I'm very much more comfortable. But first, what happens? What's going through your head? Are you, are you, are you? I'm overthinking, anxious, but it helps because there's two of us on stage.

Starting point is 01:07:17 Right. And a lot of the time, especially in the studio, I'm just talking to James or like nowadays talking to Rem and Ellis as well. But I don't do it to speak to the camera or speak to the audience i do it to speak to james make james laugh so i translate that onto the stage as well are you still speaking to james or are you speaking to the audience and james when you're doing the live performance i am it's weird i'm doing both but i'm still more so speaking to james you know so but you're like aware that they're aware that they're there but my nerves are gone because i know i'm just speaking to james at them

Starting point is 01:07:49 exactly yeah exactly and i think it translates really really well because like in terms of like the comedy aspect of it i will only ever say something that i think will make him laugh and because lucky for us like we don't have to do stuff where we're um doing shows for audiences that don't get it right we only ever do shows you can do a lot of inside jokes yeah yeah so i can say something to him that i know will make him laugh and because i know it'll make him laugh it will make everyone laugh right because they all get it and they're just like a lot of time they might not even find it funny but they're laughing on behalf of fiat because they get him so much and vice versa yeah yeah yeah so it works so it becomes

Starting point is 01:08:26 this like big friend hangout 100 and now they're living live what they've experienced every single day while they're working or at home and they want to interject in these conversations you hear this i'm sure a lot of people listen to podcasts it's like they're hanging with their friends yeah they just can't comment and now they're in the fucking room. Yeah, exactly. And do you give them opportunities to engage? Are you doing like... On this tour, we will. So then we've got like a couple of segments where people will come on and stuff like that.

Starting point is 01:08:53 I mean, they got to have questions to ask you guys for like years. Yeah, 100%. So we get that as well. So like, you've got like different opportunities, obviously like meeting groups and shit like that. We can do it. But like on stage and stuff like that,

Starting point is 01:09:02 like it gives them... You guys reacting live to these things that people are saying. It a lot to me that's it's fun that's because if you're reacting to like the things that people are saying on reddit that's always fun people do it and now you have the opportunity to do it live yeah yeah and they're there that person who did this embarrassing thing you get to see their face when you guys react to it or when you guys relate to it like to me that's the magic that would be a lot of fun bro it's good shit the times that we have done it it's done like yeah and then also just imagine what it's like for that fan who's watched people submit questions

Starting point is 01:09:36 all the time and now they're on stage they're freaking out they're so fucking terrified they just want to meet you guys yeah yeah that's a fun moment yeah the balancing act is really difficult though because you want because the moment is super big for them so like you said like they're there and they're terrified and all this shit has happened like we've made mistakes before where like i've given someone the mic and be like go for it and they're just they had to run with it when they fumble yeah you can't give them the responsibility to entertain exactly you guys are still the entertainer but they can be the stimulus to entertain off of yeah exactly like we've had we've had moments on there before where like all it takes is like uh just one comment from them that lands so perfectly and it just like

Starting point is 01:10:14 shuts down the entire building and it's just like it's like the best the best fucking feeling in the world where you don't you don't rely on them whatsoever so it gives them the opportunity to relax and then when they want to say their piece they know what they want to say and they get it and they're like they're inside it and they actually feel like i'm on here with these guys yeah i know this is my friend yeah and i'm like shooting the shit with my friends and then when they feel comfortable and they'll drop that one line and no one's expecting it and everyone's like boom fucking whole place just shuts down it It's so sick. It's a good feeling. It's a great feeling. What was the coolest venue you guys have done?

Starting point is 01:10:48 The O2. Obviously the O2. O2, 100%. That's 100%. How many people? 15,000. Wow. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:10:56 That was insane. That was sick. That was insane. Yeah, that was sick. I mean, that's crazy. Did you walk out on the stage before anybody was there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we did the pre-

Starting point is 01:11:04 That's a pretty awesome moment. Yeah, yeah. It was crazy. When we walked in, like, months before anybody was there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did the pre-everything. That's a pretty awesome moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was crazy. When we walked in months before when there was nothing there, just the seats, we realized how big this fucking venue is. I think that's something that we always try to do on tour is either go into the shittiest seat and look down, because that puts a lot in perspective, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:11:20 You're looking at that and you're like, whoa, somebody is so excited to sit right here. I need to be so grateful that I even get to be on the fucking stage and then it puts in perspective you're like holy shit I used to fucking work this shitty job or we were making funny jokes at a fucking chicken shop and now we're this show started off

Starting point is 01:11:37 on his sofa five years ago one DSLR camera that you had to redo every 20 minutes. Yeah, it's got the video limit. So we'd have to stop and start every 20 minutes. Okay, are your parents finally more proud of you than your sister? My dad is one of the biggest advocates of the show.

Starting point is 01:12:00 He loves the show. Yeah, he loves the show. He was nearly in tears watching the live show. Really? And are they starting to get love? Like, do people know your parents as characters?

Starting point is 01:12:08 I wouldn't say they know that like the people that I've seen my father before. Yeah. Um, like my close friends, things like that. They,

Starting point is 01:12:15 they like, you know, strangers. No, no, no, no, no,

Starting point is 01:12:19 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Starting point is 01:12:24 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, because he's no one knows his face i don't put his face out there yeah you know it's crazy there's nigerian parents that are looking at their kids like you know fuhai is selling out the but 10 years ago if it's not economics uh maths or whatever yeah yeah fucking hell all right guys we're gonna take a break real quick because it's summertime and thanks to our friends at

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Starting point is 01:15:02 with your order today. Now let's get back to the show. Have you ever told a story on the pod that your dad was like yo don't don't say that like have you ever said something like so crazy like one of your families like brought it up to you like yo that was great you said you remember you said you said about which one you said your dad hit you at one time i was like um you said he was like oh you shouldn't say that because xyz oh okay yeah yeah so oh god i'm wearing america as well fuck um so there was a time we were talking about um something to do with atlanta i can't remember yeah yeah yeah oh shit yeah yeah yeah i can't remember what

Starting point is 01:15:39 the context was but i call them bottom boys yeah long story short but for life i can't remember what the context was i think we just discovered the term bottom boy yeah and we were laughing about it for ages and then i got in there somewhere button boy bottom boy bottom boy okay top boy yeah i can't remember what the context was I was speaking to my dad probably like a few weeks later and he was like I was going through all the comments they said they want to stab you they want to kill you you know what I'm saying I was like don't read the comments

Starting point is 01:16:16 man just breathe bro it's fine he was so like worried bro I was like bro it's fine Atlanta will piss out that was fucking really yeah yeah yeah nigerians are scared of gay guys though that makes sense like they were like yo they're gonna suck you or something you gotta be you gotta be worried but so i've heard nigerians

Starting point is 01:16:36 are also i've not been to nigeria in years but i've also heard in nigeria there's a massive gay community but it's like it's more hidden than anything else makes sense so community, but it's more hidden than anything else. Makes sense. So, yeah. But it's huge. It's the gayest, would you say it's the gayest country in Africa? I can't comment on that. I'm just saying if we had to rank them. You know what's so sweet? He was really trying to help you out.

Starting point is 01:16:59 And then when he said that, he was like, that was good. Yeah. He was a supportive friend. He was a supportive friend. He was like that was good what is the gayest country in africa we should look look into that south africa i don't know like only america right in africa oh i don't know yeah we say south africa that's safe what because you can say it's all the whites dude yeah they just put everything on the whites. It's actually South Africa, according to Google. They have the largest percentage of gays.

Starting point is 01:17:29 That makes sense. The Dutch are kind of gay. I feel like they invented it. They were the most progressive culture in Europe at the time. Still now. Even now. What I'm saying is even back then they're like oh we shouldn't have any laws and all the drugs are legal and we need to accept everybody etc so if you just take that and extrapolate it to wherever they've landed it's probably going to be pretty

Starting point is 01:17:56 fucking gay fair y'all ever did the red light district in amsterdam. Have you guys paid? Nah. Never paid. It sounds terrifying, bro. Talk to me. I just heard horror stories. Shut up. This is such bullshit. Nah, bro. Like, I'm being deadly serious. Like, my biggest...

Starting point is 01:18:14 You hooked up with the college whore. Because she wanted me, bro. She wanted me. She desired him. Yeah, exactly. She wants money. She wants money. That's how I feel in strip clubs.

Starting point is 01:18:24 I'm like, man, you'll do this for anybody but there's a little part of you that like there's a little challenge like what if i win her over yeah yeah that's one of our boys he likes he likes he likes strippers not he likes to save them like sit him down like you don't need to do this you know i'll be honest bro i'll be doing that shit that's your bike i do that a little bit what do you think that is i don't know maybe i feel uncomfortable with the nature of the relationship like the transactional yeah so i have to make it like this this real thing but it's not real i'm being just as phony but instead of payment of dollars it's emotional payment right but it's still phony.

Starting point is 01:19:05 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the dollar is so much easier. I should just do the event. Would you feel better if you had that? So if they went to a strip club, right? Yeah, yeah. I like where your brain is going, by the way. And then you did the Prince Charming thing.

Starting point is 01:19:18 Okay, Prince Charming is trying to connect with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't need to do this. And then she asks you for a dance. Would you feel way better to go for the dance even if you have to pay for it or am i paying you still have to pay for it but she's making you believe if i didn't have to take this i wouldn't take it if she just gave me the the dance out of the kindness of her heart i would feel like i was shoplifting

Starting point is 01:19:38 gotcha that's fire she came there to rinse you you rinsed her shoplifting is crazy that might be the highest level game yeah you get the free dance yeah yeah yeah i don't know if i had that kind of game yeah that's game but that is i mean there are they gotta get horny too of course they're human beings bro they're probably setting though okay are they desensitized to sex or they desensitized to just the lap dancing type of shit probably

Starting point is 01:20:14 both probably I would say the lap dance more than sex more than but in my opinion I would think here's why I agree with you because like there are people that um they're like my parents had a dance studio and like dancing maybe to us they had a dance studio and like dancing maybe to us they would teach dance lessons growing up dancing to us might be a more intimate thing like i saw someone dancing with my girl but to my parents like partner dancing was just their life

Starting point is 01:20:34 and it was just there was nothing sexual about it so i wonder if they do that i know it sounds crazy but with the lap dances i reckon they have no sexual connection with lap dances whatsoever yeah like whatsoever it's just but what if they feel it what if they feel his shit oh his shit that's a threat that's a that's a baton there's a copper in here we've got it undercover oh that's crazy they've been wearing them nike tech suits like you can't even wear it that's genius bro when you come into the strip club with the bike shorts can you guys do that legally legally legally like do they have attire you have to wear a dress code i don't know but i don't think i've ever gone to a strip club in short so no they do I think they do

Starting point is 01:21:25 treat it like a club yeah true how do you tip them just because your denominations are strip clubs in in the well I would say London

Starting point is 01:21:34 are very different to obviously America whereas in America you can either obviously if you go to the pole you can either give them money or you go for a private dance give them money

Starting point is 01:21:42 whereas in the UK there's like a stage where they all dance and the lady comes around with a fucking pot and you can either give them money or you go for a private dance to give them money. Whereas in the UK, there's a stage where they all dance and the lady comes around with a fucking pot and you have to put money in. It's terrible. It's terrible. What if you don't like the dance? If you don't, it takes a leave.

Starting point is 01:21:56 This is socialism. This is the problem with socialism. It's not merit-based. There's a girl that's not working for it in a way that you like, but you still have to give her the same amount of money as the girl you really like. Yeah, bro.

Starting point is 01:22:09 It sucks. And you tip down on the girl you really like because you got to save money for the girl who sucks. Yeah. That's unfortunate. But can you take them off for a lap dance? Yeah, you can do that. You can do that off the wall.

Starting point is 01:22:20 That's like the main money. But when you walk in, that's the general consensus. There's a pole. So nobody's making it rain. It's like the main money. But when you walk in, that's the general consensus. There's a pole. So nobody's making it rain. It rains all the time, bro. Touche. Touche.

Starting point is 01:22:34 Yeah, bro. Our denomination is five pounds. You don't have a dog. The smallest load we have is a five, so. Yeah, that's a great dance. Like if you're giving a fiver to somebody. Yeah, it's consistently. That level of pressure is way better. Okay okay do you guys have girls that like um because you guys are kind of out there a little

Starting point is 01:22:50 bit you're telling like sex stories and that kind of stuff sometimes i imagine do you have girls that will like they kind of fetishize that and they're like i want to be in one of their stories i want them to talk about me in the pot on the pot there's gone i don't know i'm referencing yeah yeah yeah i don't know about anyone who's ever said thought i want to be in the story but we definitely will make references like recently we made a reference like it's sexy if a girl ask you if a girl was to ask you what color should i do my nails that's sexy yeah yeah till now i get dms every day what color should i do my nails what color should i do my nails what color should i do my nails what color should i do my nails what color should i do my nails so shit like that that will reference like oh it's hot

Starting point is 01:23:29 if a girl does this it's hot if girls like that then dms because that's our honest answer yeah we're not trying to show bar this is genuine and because you're being genuine about it those girls are using that as like a cheeky excuse to interact 100 100 yeah but there must be pressure to perform now like if you hook up with a girl, it's like, they know. Oh, yeah. You've talked up your dick. I've not talked up my dick. I just said what the truth is. You risked it.

Starting point is 01:23:52 They want to be the toilet bathroom. I'll be intrigued now if a girl saw your dick and she was like, nah, bro. That's not toilet shit. Get on the fucking toilet and prove it, bro. I don't believe it. You're not sitting all the way back, bitch. bro that's true there's a lot of pressure you could undersell and over deliver yeah dude he's like nah i just speak facts man you just speak facts yeah that's a that was a recent clip though we'll see, we'll see what happens

Starting point is 01:24:26 Are there any girls in the comments that are like Yo, I seen it I don't read comments, so I don't know That would be tough He will read that comment though I'll write it I'll write it, bro Fucking liar

Starting point is 01:24:44 You gotta get the fence to be like Yeah, right all right bro fucking liar so a friend of mine uh lived in he might be here now he lived in england he was working at an advertising agency uh that had an office over there as well you know sometimes you guys can work here we work there these global companies whatever and um he said an interesting thing about british women he said when you're out partying with them, they're down and they're ready to go that night. But sometimes after that night, the follow through might be, they're a little bit more prudish.

Starting point is 01:25:19 100%. If you don't close that night, it's harder. Is that what you're saying? And can you guys explain that phenomenon? I feel like that's a generic thing. Or is it not? Are you talking about if you manage to hit or no? If you don't manage to hit the first night,

Starting point is 01:25:34 it's harder to hit going forward. It might not even be a connection after that. Yeah, 100%. And explain that phenomenon. That's more to do with, like goggle stuff so like it goes like and also the culture is also like i'm outside i'm outside i see you girls see you girls i'm outside so if like they want to envelop in that moment it's like wow fuck i'm meeting this guy this is crazy we're partying yeah yeah i'm ready to suck his dick in the toilet i don't care like whatever

Starting point is 01:26:01 but the next day i'm refined yeah next day like I have a job and yeah I shouldn't be behaving this way yeah yeah you're not yet a potential one I stand you're not texting the next day like yeah what's going on she'll be like what the fuck bro oh really yeah you missed your chance you have to start from oh so if you do like a girl would you say it's better to prolong it or would you say it's better to hit first night and then continue hit first in my opinion hit first night if you can't yeah yeah that is unique that's not here it would be the opposite it's almost like a sign that you really like the girl if you're like no let's chill out on this i want to hang out with you and they would see that as a compliment they go oh he really likes me in the

Starting point is 01:26:37 agreed we would still see it as a compliment but also it's like there's there's a there's a slight undertone of like bro i just offered you sex and you're saying no so now it's like there's there's a there's a slight undertone of like bro i just offered you sex and you're saying no so now it's a rejection yeah yeah yeah like i'm doing something that is like maybe uh culturally frowned upon and i and i went there with you and you rejected it now i'm embarrassed yeah exactly yeah 100 so it's like it almost in a weird way like breeds this one night stand culture yeah and also they feel that compliment that you're saying in terms of like oh he must really like me because he's offering to slow things down and take me out they would feel that is if they gave you the one night stand and then you message them the next day

Starting point is 01:27:14 to see them again then they're like wow he really likes me so sex the first night is in no way like indicative of the girl being easy it is it's a great but she's already taken that leap yeah like i'm saying like not all girls in the uk are ready for one night stands that's not the case at all but if we are talking about a girl that is willing to do that then you gotta go then yeah you have to go and then again if you see her again and see her again then again she's like wow he likes me he likes me more than i thought yeah yeah 100 interesting and would you guys if you were really into a girl that first night, would you guys go for it? 100%.

Starting point is 01:27:46 Got it. And personally, would you hold any feelings like, oh, she's easy, she just let me hit the first night? I'm not marrying a girl who I fucked on the first night. Got it. No, the thing, I feel like it depends. Personally, if we're both in the moment, both in the zone, and I think she's banging, she thinks I i'm banging and we fuck on the first night and post that everything is amazing conversation

Starting point is 01:28:09 sex energy chemistry why if we if we start today fucking why not i couldn't care less you wouldn't you wouldn't there's no taboo or anything like that on it couldn't care less you know why wouldn't you because when i say fuck on the first night, it depends. If I met a girl for a date, and we went out on a date, and I fucked her on the first date, I would still marry that girl. That's different than if you just met a girl. If I met a girl in a club. You bang her out the bathroom. Yeah, took her to an alleyway and fucked her.

Starting point is 01:28:36 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's heinous. Yeah. That's different. No, no, no. That's heinous. Heinous is a great word. I wouldn't do that.

Starting point is 01:29:05 But yeah, I'd go out and meet in a club and fuck that night. It's just never going to be my wife. no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I don't know if it's just the sound of it. I think it might be they're charmed by... Is it how we speak to them in general? It might. There is, like, when you guys are not on your, like, Geordie Shore shit, but, like, when you're on your, like, refined British shit, I think it reminds them of, like, films they've seen and an elegance to British culture, which is seductive. The game is just so different. Explain.

Starting point is 01:29:23 In my opinion, I feel like when i've spoken to american women they the term is oh we love your accent and i think it's vice versa i love their accent but but go on go on go but i think it's more so of they're not loving an accent all right yeah but it's more it's more so the approach is what i feel like maybe they're so used to one way i exactly way or whatever. They see something different. They hear something different. The approach is different. So they're like, oh, I like this. Oh, I didn't know. There's a charm to it.

Starting point is 01:29:51 It's a novelty to it. So maybe that's why they're attracted to the British accent. I remember going to England and then my homie was like, dude, girls love the British accent. I mean, the American accent here. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And then he and I started getting close over the next three days. We're chopping it up somewhere birmingham leicester whatever these three girls turn around are like are you american and i was like yeah why they started laughing i

Starting point is 01:30:11 was like the accent's making it they're like no we quite like it and i was like oh fuck is that british girls like the american accent that's a culture that's a potentially taboo no not taboo it's like some women find it corny. Gotcha. And then some women like it. I think, I don't know a black girl in London who finds the American accent sexy. Really? What do you think? I don't know.

Starting point is 01:30:37 I actually don't know. I've only heard that they think it's corny. So black, this is interesting. So black British women think the American accent is unattractive.ive well i don't want to speak for all black british women but from what i've heard we are the british opinion on a lot of shit yeah we are not qualified to. You're speaking for the crown. I think, I do think like a lot of, well, for one, the American approach

Starting point is 01:31:12 is corny to black British women. Explain. So we do a lot of like, we have a reacts channel, right? Yeah. On YouTube. And we've done a lot of it. It's like in terms of like

Starting point is 01:31:20 American riz or whatever like that. And like American guys, there's a massive culture that you guys have here where you can just approach a girl in the street and be like, what's your name? If you did that in London, immediately

Starting point is 01:31:32 God is up and it's just like, what the fuck do you want? Americans are more friendly. Way more friendly. I'm more accepting to bullshit. Accepting to bullshit is the worst. That's an interesting observation. Meaning that we will go along with small talk or pleasantries in a way that you guys will not. We have no tolerance for it.

Starting point is 01:31:49 Real quick, do you find that is something that is ubiquitous across America? Because I feel like in New York, we're not big fans of small talk. Simply because it's an urban environment where you've got to see a lot of people. It's like, I don't got all this time to talk about the weather like we gotta go yeah which might be more similar to 100 valid yeah yeah but there are places in america where it's car culture where talking to somebody might be the first person you spoke to all day so it's like all right i'm gonna be nice to you i'm gonna i got all the energy yeah i want some human interaction so they're a little shocked by our pleasantries and our maybe positivity, and they don't trust it as authentic.

Starting point is 01:32:26 You're selling something. Got it. What do you want? And get to the point. So they would rather the upfront approach about, hey, I think you're beautiful or whatever the fuck it is. If you watch like a British guy, if you saw a video of like, especially in black culture, if you saw a British guy speak to like a girl uh-huh it's very much like yo what's your name straight to the point what's your name god like you're banging you're this or whatever can i give you a number like straight to the point right and then we can work backwards from there like if she if she if she entertains the the bullet points then we can

Starting point is 01:33:00 introduce pleasantries and now let's just be charming we have some chat yeah exactly but you need to let them know what your intentions are immediately oh so they feel like that uncertainty they don't like and they'll remove themselves from it yeah and if unless you're direct it makes you less trustworthy you're putting your intentions on the table yeah and then we can get to charm and we have to disarm that's the thing with the pleasantries yeah so in america yeah it's like we just go hey like they already walking away exactly it has to be the eye it's almost like it is inauthentic in a way but it's almost like we have to find a different reason to talk and then they have to almost win us over hey i just thought you know that your dog was cute now you being charming how what why are you

Starting point is 01:33:46 hitting on me yeah and then they're like wait am I hitting on him like you almost gotta gaslight them into thinking they want to fuck you yeah and you on defense like back off bitch I like your dog yeah right yeah yeah yeah wow so our girls are defensive to hitting on them directly and your girls are defensive to kindness yeah defensive to kindness is facts because yeah they don't they don't buy it kindness yeah i get that that actually makes more sense yeah and they won't even look up from their phone if you're just like oh excuse me like so how do ugly guys get laid ugly. Meaning if you're not a handsome dude that's walking up to a girl, because it seems like you're putting it right on the table. If a handsome fucking tall, strong guy walks up, puts it right on the table,

Starting point is 01:34:33 you might get some reaction. But if a guy who's not traditionally handsome, but might be like really smart, charming, he can find his way in. That's a friend zone. Yeah. Yeah. You can't, like a non-conventional attractive guy

Starting point is 01:34:47 can't just approach a girl in the street. In my opinion. Yeah. And expect a positive result. There has to be something about you. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:34:55 If you work in the same office, he's funny. He's the work guy. So you're building that relationship. Yeah. That shit was like Tinder in person.

Starting point is 01:35:02 And then it's staff night out, maybe it's a Christmas party. Christmas party. That's staff night out maybe it's a christmas party that's when they get fucked yeah christmas party that's when they get fucked miracles you know there you go oh interesting that's dude it's so weird it's really like an american thing we almost laugh at about how like you have to be... I wouldn't say have to. I think there are many different ways to approach.

Starting point is 01:35:28 But honestly, not laying it all on the table might be the more effective way. Hmm. Huh. Yeah, I get that. And since we've been here, I've heard a lot that people don't think him and I are very friendly. Really?

Starting point is 01:35:42 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get the response that we're not very friendly. We're polite, but we're not very friendly. You guys, it is a British thing. You're a little reserved. Yeah, we don't think him and I are very friendly. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get like, we get a response that we're not very friendly. We're polite, but we're not very friendly. You guys, it is a British thing. You're a little reserved. Yeah, we don't. But then when you loosen up. Yeah, we're cool.

Starting point is 01:35:51 Yeah. You see what it is. People expect us to be who we are on the show when they meet us for the first time. But you are, you're just not that. Exactly. Yeah. And I think it's more where Americans are probably to a stranger. You can be your most extrovert

Starting point is 01:36:05 itself whereas we're very much just like that is it that might be a british thing yeah and what is the advantage of that in british culture do you think like why why put on that and that exists in certain cultures in america too that's what i was trying to tell you about like the wasp culture it's the same thing okay there's there's like a version of you that it's almost like um a work a work personality yeah yeah does that make sense like sense yeah yeah why is that why do you think that it's why i have no idea like taught that as a kid are you like hey this is how you should behave you're being in play if you're not you'll never you'll never taught to like i don't know it's just culturally it's just like not spoken about like

Starting point is 01:36:42 you will see like even as a kid like if there is a kid who um if you see a kid in a store who's like hi what's your name hi what's your name like the parents always like like you're bothering people stop bothering we encourage that yeah yeah yeah that's interesting we love a kid going up yeah we think it's cute but it's very much like you're bothering just leave him alone i had my my wife's stepfather when she was a kid um would have her like let's say they were out to dinner she would have to walk up to six different people and ask them a question that did not have a yes or no answer oh wow to build up her you know social skills and like reduce any kind of anxiety about socializing jeez which would be like so taboo i imagine based on what you guys are saying what happened in the uk yeah if if a kid came up to me and was like sorry my mom's making me ask i don't know

Starting point is 01:37:32 what the fuck what the fuck you're talking about bro what the fuck man it's funny that you said it seems like it's almost inconsiderate to inconvenience yeah it is so it's a respect thing it's like yeah it is i also feel like it depends on when you're it depends on where you're raised slash born like you said there are places in america where um like new york for example very fast paced blah blah blah london again very very fast pace massive community but very fast pace so people don't like to waste other people's time that's so if you're born and bred like i don't know somewhere up north for example i was gonna say sheffield for example. Sheffield. I was going to say Sheffield.

Starting point is 01:38:06 For example, you could be a bit more friendly because people are a bit more legalized. And it's just chill. Y'all are going to Dallas tomorrow. Yeah. It's changed a little bit, but it's very, you see someone walking down the street. Hey, how are you? That's just what you do. It's not even, if somebody doesn't do that, you're like, who the fuck is that guy?

Starting point is 01:38:22 I just walked by, made eye contact. It's almost rude to not engage. Because there's less, this is what I would tell him. I thought New Yorkers were rude. It's just there's so many people. I don't have time to be friendly. Like in Texas, if I hold the door open for one person, one person is going to walk through that door, maybe two. In New York, if I hold the door open at Times Square, I'm never going to close.

Starting point is 01:38:40 You're never going to leave. So I think London might be a little bit more like that. And I was curious, are they much friendlier? Because you'll see 180 degree difference when you're never gonna leave so so i think london is a might be a little bit more like that and i was curious are they much friendlier because you'll see 180 degree difference when you're going on south it won't you're not going to see 180 uh in england in england no you there's nowhere in england you're going to see a complete shift unless we're talking about like villages yeah yeah for the most part it is always like like don't bother people let them get on don't inconvenience them yeah um and nine times i said if you're in london everyone's got their headphones in anyway It is always like, don't bother people. Let them get on. Don't inconvenience them. And nine times out of ten, if you're in London,

Starting point is 01:39:07 everyone's got their headphones in anyway. Yeah, they'll find reasons not to make that happen. I stay in a lot because I don't live in London. So I stay in a... Do you mind sharing where you live? I live in a town called Northampton. It's like two hours outside of London. Okay, gotcha. So like half the week I'll stay in hotels.

Starting point is 01:39:19 And like the one hotel... So you can do the pod? Yeah. Yeah, because the studio's in London. So you'll travel to London, stay there for three or four days to do the pod pod and then you go back yeah yeah wow and you would never want to move to london i've thought about loads of times but now like i prefer the situation i have now i prefer it it's just like you like the quiet being outside like a house yeah i have like a nice house and it's quiet and um like it's chill yeah it's just

Starting point is 01:39:46 like it's very pleasant where i live got it uh and there's also the town that i was raised in so my mom lives oh so you got community yeah yeah and then you you're just a fuck yeah i've been born and bred london so you're just getting after it oh god what a terror this guy's terror what do you think's the farthest you've ever driven to smash a ting smash a ting you know like that like the largest distance you've had to cross just for trains work too we'll count trains and planes uh i've never traveled far we have like a we have a rule that if if you're if you're gonna go and travel to smash a girl you have to like fap one out first and then if you still want to after yeah then you do it and if you don't want to after then it was just your dick making up your decisions and

Starting point is 01:40:31 you don't go so you said you went two hours a couple hours pre-fap pre pre and post pre can you tell us what city? It wasn't in the UK. You went to Belgium? Oh, I know. You went to a different country. Fuck, yeah, I remember. But I stayed.

Starting point is 01:40:55 So it's not like I... But it also was like a long build-up. What country? Now I want to know. What type of girl? Paris is what I would assume. Why Paris? Two hours. Paris is what I would assume why Paris two hours

Starting point is 01:41:06 Paris is like an hour to be fair it was an hour yeah it was an hour it's not Paris but it was an hour what country doesn't matter

Starting point is 01:41:12 I mean get a map up Scotland it's not Scotland it's not Scotland no Scotland this was way back in the day way back in the day two years ago

Starting point is 01:41:20 it's gotta be France then no was that right Belgium he said Belgium no it's Amsterdam it was Amsterdam okay I was close enough that ain't It's got to be France then. Was that right? He said Belgium. No, it's Amsterdam. Okay, I was close enough. That's two hours?

Starting point is 01:41:32 45 minutes? Because you flew? You fly? Yeah, I flew. That's different. I thought we were talking about driving. And then it was just a freaky girl or what? It was one of those ones, like I said, it was built up for so long. We were talking, conversation. Okay, so, and then it was just a freaky girl or what? Yeah. It was one of those ones, like I said,

Starting point is 01:41:47 it was built up for so long. Like, we were talking, conversation, blah, blah, blah. Did she do that European thing where they, like, just shave up to the knee? What the fuck? Is that a thing? You've never seen the European girls that do that? No, bro. They shave up to the knee.

Starting point is 01:41:58 And they just let this hair grow up. Can I just say something? You've got anecdotes, bro. I've lived a life. I've lived a life, gentlemen. You guys have never seen that? I have never seen that. That would scare the life out of me.

Starting point is 01:42:11 Yeah, 100%. I've never seen that. I've taken out a few over there. I've never seen that, bro. Yo, is it just me? I think so. I think you found a hairy thing and she was like oh it's just what we do and you took that around yeah i thought this was a like a brit not a british thing like

Starting point is 01:42:33 a european thing shave up to the never heard of that never heard it never seen it do they keep it hairy out there i think it depends on the person i don't necessarily think it's a country thing i mean in america it's not it's I've never slept with a girl with pubic hair. With a lot of pubic hair. With a lot. With like. More than like a lumbar shit type of thing. I've gone like in between shaves.

Starting point is 01:42:54 Oh. But not like. But not like intentional growing. Yeah. Intentional growth is crazy. But fast though. Yeah. She had a little Luther going on down there.

Starting point is 01:43:04 Exactly. Fucking hell. but facts are she had a little Luther going on down there exactly fucking hell I was curious have you all ever been in a fight for each other oh shit has some shit

Starting point is 01:43:13 ever broken out like at a pub or something you would like step in and like bang for each other yeah

Starting point is 01:43:18 or just fight in general for each other oh yeah like that that's not why was it for each other though it was for you it was for you yeah yeah it was for each other? Oh. I like that. That's not, why was it for each other though? It was for you. It was for you?

Starting point is 01:43:28 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was for each other. I am, okay, I understand what you're saying, but the question is very different by the way you're saying it. Wait, wait, wait.

Starting point is 01:43:34 I'll explain, I'll explain. Wait, what? I know. Yo, Nigerians are the best. Did you see how diplomatically he got out of that bullshit right there? I'm not explaining. Okay, the question was different,

Starting point is 01:43:43 but I understand your perspective. I will continue. That's just how my brain works, bro. That's just how my brain works. So there was a time in Birmingham. We were in probably like our second year of uni. So this is, we're talking like 2010. Myself and one of our other friends, Toby,

Starting point is 01:43:59 were on the dance floor and there was a chick that was looking good and squeezed a bit of bottom flesh and the guy i don't know if it was her man or whatever but the guy was saying stuff to us it was her man yeah okay but it was her man the guy was saying stuff to us and i was like obviously the music I was like I can't hear you I was simulating like I can't hear you in my mind

Starting point is 01:44:27 in his head he thought are you dumb are you stupid you know but I was like I can't hear what you're saying and it got a bit rowdy

Starting point is 01:44:34 started pushing pushing pushed back it's funny you think that's what escalated the fight and now you grab no no no I'm not saying that

Starting point is 01:44:40 it obviously was obviously it's his girl throwing her ass in your face right obviously but it's just a girl's ass in your face, right? Obviously. It's just a girl's fault. Yeah, and then it just got a bit handsy from there. And then what happened?

Starting point is 01:44:49 Y'all fucked him up? Nah, he was a big motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What happened was this son of a bitch and Toby took a side pass so the rest of us could get in a massive fight. Oh, yeah. And we were like fighting for our lives in this club. This guy didn't have a scratch on him.

Starting point is 01:45:04 He stood on the outside. He instigated the fight. You're over us, bro. You're over us. You're over us all day. And he was Rick Ross outside watching his people just get busy. And do you know the worst part? How do you do that, bro?

Starting point is 01:45:15 Do you know the worst part? Do you know the worst part? We went outside. I was like, oh, I forgot my jacket. This fucking prick. No, bro. I forgot my jacket. We were on our way out.

Starting point is 01:45:23 And the guys that were walking past were literally like you guys are dead tonight as soon as you get outside you're getting stabbed yeah yeah and this fucker's at the cloakroom like i need my jacket and we were like bro fuck your jacket we need to go and he was like i'm not going anywhere without my jacket i'm going to kill you that night bro I got my jacket yeah did they press y'all outside no no we left we got out we got out I mean we're here now

Starting point is 01:45:50 so yeah why the fuck would she even be dancing with you if her man is right there that's crazy I just assumed she was single

Starting point is 01:45:57 the way she was moving I assumed she was single the way she was single that's facts bro she moved single she was moving single she's throwing it up yeah

Starting point is 01:46:04 that was a horrible night it was yeah I think that's the only time that's the only she moved single she was throwing it up yeah that was a horrible night it was yeah I think that's the only time that's the only time to my recollection was there a conversation in the car afterwards there was a converse

Starting point is 01:46:12 bro I don't remember the conversation in the car but there was a conversation there was a silent drive there was a silent drive and there was a conversation when we got back to the

Starting point is 01:46:21 going back to uni because we drove back to uni and we got picked up in it we got picked up by the time we made it back to campus there was a conversation yeah yeah yeah yeah

Starting point is 01:46:29 the worries hit him I personally don't recall yeah fight your own fucking fights there's no way you're getting into a fight and you don't even get touched yeah

Starting point is 01:46:36 and all the boys are just home with black eyes that's not a thing and then secondly yeah just keep your fucking hands to yourself yeah yeah that was a that was a tough tough day yeah, just keep your fucking hands to yourself. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:46:45 That was a, that was a tough, tough day. Yeah. I was 19. That was a test. That was testing for our friendship, actually.

Starting point is 01:46:50 Really? Yeah. Building blocks. Has there been a moment where you guys almost stopped being friends? Nah. Nah. Not even close? Nah.

Starting point is 01:46:56 That was the closest moment. That was probably the closest moment. We probably had one other argument. Oh, what happened? This was again, stupid. This is actually girl related as well.

Starting point is 01:47:04 This is a minor argument, but it's like, you know... Don't look at me. You know... Look at him this time. This argument was more like... Oh, that's why he's... It was a minor argument.

Starting point is 01:47:15 No, no, no. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor.

Starting point is 01:47:20 In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor.

Starting point is 01:47:21 In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor.

Starting point is 01:47:21 In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, it is minor. In comparison, you think you know someone yeah and you have that that impulse so you're like bro who the fuck like who are you yeah like when you're cheating on your girl yeah exactly it was one of those moments again yeah again stupid girl related question um or situation sorry we were on a night out

Starting point is 01:47:35 in manchester this is where he lived in manchester i had met a girl and i was staying with him and then she was trying to come back so I just assumptively was like bro give me the keys I'm gonna head back to the spot and take care of business and he was like I'm not like you're not like because he lived in a two-bed context basically context I would have had to fuck the girl on his bed so I was like bro give me the keys like yeah I'm gonna go and he was like nah you're not going anywhere like you're not banging this gun on my bed I was like bro come on all jokes aside like the girl's here like I'm gonna need those he was like nah you're not going anywhere like you're not banging this gun on my bed and I was like oh bro come on all jokes aside like the girl's here

Starting point is 01:48:07 like I'm gonna need those keys I'm gonna need the keys like now and then he was just on business like nah bro I'm not happening and it was one of those moments where I was like how have I misread this situation so much are you my friend or not

Starting point is 01:48:24 what the fuck is going on and it actually got into like a heated argument of like dude what's okay what was the rationale yeah the rationale i was like dude i'm again i suck your dick to save your life i'll do anything for you like if you wanted like fuck it on the bed while i'm in there i don't care like it's not whatever makes you happy go do it i can't believe we're in this situation where you're saying no like i'll clean the sheets i'll flip them out whatever you want me to do i'll do it i don't understand why this is an issue and and he didn't fuck the girl no no but not letting me oh um i just feel like it if i had at the time if i was staying in a place was a two-bed two-bath kind of thing fine take the other room wait you would need a second bath for him to fuck the girl if it was a situation where i had a spare room yeah i i just feel like

Starting point is 01:49:14 okay casing point i i feel like we're in oxford let me let me actually give you an example yes there was a time i don't think he knows this there was a time i was staying at his um and i at the time i was in my ex at the time and she wanted to fuck and i was like i'm not fucking you in my boy's room i'm just not doing that and this was years after this situation you just explained about yeah so it's it's just probably my principle more than anything else. It has nothing to do with our friendship, in my opinion. Are you messy in bed?

Starting point is 01:49:50 It's not even about messy. It's more so about it's not my bed, bro. Yeah. You see what I'm saying? It's not a hotel. I'm not going to treat the bedroom like a hotel. Because it's not a hotel. This is his bedroom.

Starting point is 01:50:01 Yeah. So that's just my standpoint. You can stare at him like that, bro. That's fine. That's my standpoint. I mean, he wouldn't do it so it is fair of course but you you obviously don't care you would let no i i would let him i still see some heart in your eyes i know yeah you're accepting what you say but i missed out on a good one deep in the pupils at the time i i thought it was like at the time i thought he was being selfish

Starting point is 01:50:26 i don't think because i understand he he views the bed as like this is my space and my home yeah and this is where i feel comfortable there's no way you're coming in with some trashy girl and i have to come here tomorrow and lay my head here this is my space at the time i was like you were just being selfish bro did you think like he was upset because he wasn't leaving with one? No, no, no, no, no. Never like that. We've never had that kind of relationship. Jealousy has never been a thing between us. So why didn't you just tell him, yo, just fuck on the couch?

Starting point is 01:50:54 Because for one, even if I told him that, he's not going to fuck on the couch. No, no, no, no. If you said fuck on the couch, I promise you I would have fucked on the couch. Look at that. You would have saved the whole situation. I would have put kitchen roll on the floor and banged her on tissue bro if needed and she said and if she said to you big man i don't want to fuck let's go to the room and turn a fucking sock. You're not thinking twice, man. You're not thinking twice. Let's not lie here. No, no, no, no.

Starting point is 01:51:27 Let's not lie. I know you, James. You can't control yourself, bro. You can't control these guys. I have to find a compromise, bro. If it's fucking sucking there, it must be wrist over here. Something like, yeah, just something old-fashioned over here, man. Wrist.

Starting point is 01:51:41 If you say so, bro. I wouldn't have done that if you adam and he told me do not bang this girl on my bed there's no way there's no way you could come home and be like by the way i well i understand your standpoint but i can't speak for her yeah but she who the fuck is she she's the person you're trying to fuck bro it's not happening brother uh no no no you misunderstand me we're having an impasse right now The fact that you think I would do that is crazy The thing is You wouldn't do that now

Starting point is 01:52:11 Yeah he would 19 He would fuck anywhere He's gonna fuck anywhere And she goes I just want you to bend me over that guy's bed And she just calls him that guy No no no These guys are doing power plays that guy's bed and she just called him that guy no no no no no no no this guy's doing power things don't bite that guy's bed i want you to bend me over that guy's bed i think that i think

Starting point is 01:52:31 it would just be so seductive and he would understand you would ask for forgiveness that's just what i think No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, isn't it? Alright, bro. Alright, bro. This guy will cheat on his girl because he get offered one time and then sprint home. You don't think he'll fuck on your bed? If she's like, hey, do you want to go to the bed? He's suddenly principled? Nah, man.

Starting point is 01:53:16 I'm just saying. He wouldn't do that now. I'm saying 19-year-old James. 19-year-old James was not a bro code violator you can never say that yeah but i agree i completely agree but bro we're talking about pussy bro we're talking about one night stand pussy yeah you bought a little bed he's my best friend i'm completely honest yeah yeah i think you'd bang her i've got no shame in saying that i think you'd bang her what's the got no shame in saying that. I think you'd bang her.

Starting point is 01:53:45 Damn, bro. What's the hottest girl on the planet? Just give me anybody in the top five. Top five. Let's do it like Meg. The Stallion? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You sound disappointed.

Starting point is 01:54:00 Yeah, what the fuck was that? Racist ass. Why do I have to be racist? The Stallion? why is that racism? I said are there no black people in the UK? what the fuck?

Starting point is 01:54:12 oh you want it to be UK based? no it could be anything but nobody in history has ever said the hottest girl on the planet is Meg The Stallion I'm plucking something out of your head

Starting point is 01:54:19 yeah they have by the way Jamie likes a nice big girl you know take it down Meg is top 5 in the world she also loves anime it's a big thing yeah Yeah, they have, by the way. Jamie likes a nice big girl, you know? Next time, take it down. Next time. Top five in the world. She also loves anime. It's a big thing. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:54:29 She does love anime. She's a big anime girl. What's wrong, bro? Yeah, what's wrong, bro? She's fire, bro. Come on. Yo, Al. Al, cut it out.

Starting point is 01:54:42 Al, cut it the fuck out. Who doesn't want to shoot? Yo, you're crazy. You're just an asshole. I'm not going to lie. She is a strong 5'11", which is tough. No, no, no. Okay, she's a beautiful girl.

Starting point is 01:54:53 I don't even... But the top five... I don't have time for this sake to keep the heat of the conversation. I was plucking the first name that came to my head. I don't personally think Men's Deline is top five hottest girls in the world. She's beautiful.

Starting point is 01:55:04 She's a beautiful girl. She's banging beautiful girl okay what I was trying to present is a potential situation where you would be inclined to allow him because the girl was just so

Starting point is 01:55:14 unbelievably there was a certain caliber of girl that he would let 100% and that girl didn't match it to be fair

Starting point is 01:55:19 I don't remember what the girl I don't know if I saw the girl she didn't there we go there we go but there is no way on this earth I would see that he's potentially

Starting point is 01:55:29 closed with a 10-10 and he's not banging on my sofa or my bed. There's no way. Because he won't let me live that down. That's my brother. That's what the fuck I'm talking about, bro. Okay, if it's just a random nut from a girl that you don't even remember,

Starting point is 01:55:42 I kind of am agreeing with you. Yeah, I hear it now. Yeah, I think you got logic. But you're still loyal that you don't even remember? I kind of am agreeing with you. Yeah, I hear it now. I think you got logic. But you're still loyal because you wouldn't let him miss a golden opportunity. Never. My bro. He was trying to bring the uni whore back. Yeah, she was a tot.

Starting point is 01:55:58 What? What's a tot? You didn't use tot? A tot is like... It's a whore. Yeah, I think it's a whore yeah it's just another word for yeah that's a slag yeah dude heinous i love that one that's heinous oh dude i can't wait to say that that is heinous my enemies have succeeded is my personal favorite Yeah we need more Nigerianisms I personally don't use them that much I feel like for me

Starting point is 01:56:28 I It's probably like scenario based Or role playing based again Can you explain role playing to me? You keep bringing that up No no I genuinely So for example there could be a dilemma we read out Or something that's happening Oh you're just acting

Starting point is 01:56:41 I forgot the fucking question but you don't use a lot of the nigerian so i would most likely like pluck something from the contextual situation and my response is maybe like very nigerian but i don't necessarily say stuff like my enemies use the euphemism yeah it just comes out you'll say age me yeah i've never heard of that before i've met you yeah because my parents say that yeah like so for example my mum would say I would say yo what's good bro

Starting point is 01:57:10 if for example I don't but if I would say to my mum what's good bro my mum would be like am I your age mate why would you call me bro

Starting point is 01:57:15 am I your peer I'm not your peer exactly so that's I say age mate because my parents said age mate see what I'm saying

Starting point is 01:57:20 yeah okay before we get out of here you guys have to get a flight you have to go to dallas you have a show tonight in dallas no on thursday shit i can't remember i don't know i can find out real quick one sec i should i should know we should know yeah i really don't dallas is the factory okay i don't know I know of it Toyota Music Factory

Starting point is 01:57:46 that's called the factory in Deep Ellum oh yeah I think that's a music venue primarily you guys gotta shoot a gun when you're down there

Starting point is 01:57:54 yeah that's a good idea shotguns in Miami in Miami it's wild were you guys good at it yes yeah we actually were it's natural

Starting point is 01:58:01 and yeah fuck wait what do you mean he said he's sharp he's great i don't even know what you guys are what the fuck ever bro the english are not good at shooting guns bro they lost that is true is that what you mean that's not what you meant that's not what you meant that's okay okay before we get out of here can you just tell me how do you guys learn history you know how like in america we have like an americanized version of history that kind of like well we we talk about slavery

Starting point is 01:58:29 because like we have to because there's black people everywhere but like we don't talk about native american shit that much because you know so what do you do in in british history when you're learning it do you learn about the colonies do you learn about the empire is it too close and people feel comfortable i didn't yeah i'm not even saying this is a joke. Do you learn about the colonies? Do you learn about the empire? Is it too close and people feel uncomfortable? I didn't. Yeah, I'm not even saying this as a joke, but do you learn like, yeah, we fucked India over, we fucked this, we fucked that? No, no, no, no.

Starting point is 01:58:51 We don't actually. I don't know what the curriculum is like now, but I remember in school, I learned about colonization from like Americans. You guys learn way more about it than we do. We don't know anything about it. Isn't that interesting? They put it in the curriculum. It's not in the the curriculum whatsoever and they also don't do it for americans like we don't

Starting point is 01:59:09 learn about what we're doing around the world that much either i'm just curious your version of it like so our version is more like world war ii world war ii we were banging out yeah they killed the nazis and then nothing bad happened before that yeah yeah we don't we don't learn about like henry the eighth or all that shit. Yeah, we learn about former kings and queens, probably the invention of medicine, which a lot of it was British-led. We don't learn about anything to do with American independence. We don't learn about that.

Starting point is 01:59:38 None of that war stuff. We don't learn about that. We learn about World War I, World War II. They're not going to talk about their losses, bro. We can talk about our losses a little bit. Vietnam we'll talk about. But it's recent. You guys can kind of ignore.

Starting point is 01:59:51 Yeah, there's no video evidence. Valid. Interesting. Okay, so then when you start learning about the world, is there, because I think this is happening a lot in America where now with the internet information is democratized and you can start learning like, ooh the cia is responsible for and when you guys go out and you start learning about like british history is there like a a red pillization and

Starting point is 02:00:15 don't use the word red pill with like uh the i hate women shit but more about like oh this is what really happened or do you just kind of ignore okay for me personally there's a little bit um there's a little bit of it and like for example like a prime example right so my surname is duncan i went on a family trip to grenada a few years ago oh yeah um and they give you a tour of the island and we stumbled across the Duncan Plantation. Your family? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slave owners?

Starting point is 02:00:49 No, slaves. My black name is Duncan. Wow. Oh, your dad is black. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mom is white. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it, got it. So yeah, we found the plantation that obviously my family was workers on.

Starting point is 02:01:02 And like that, growing up, I didn't understand. And then you grow up and you realize that like so there's a lot there's huge like caribbean culture in the uk and you realize that all caribbeans have white surnames of course and you i didn't realize that until like older why that was yeah yeah um so there was that for me personally there's a lot growing up i was like what the fuck what the fuck and then again with like colonization and stuff like i was a grown man before the term colonizer was even i'd even was introduced to it and i was like i don't even know what the fuck that is so then you have to learn about it learn about it learn about it and i think the only thing that helps is that again callback we're not very patriotic so it's very easy for us to be like to reject that

Starting point is 02:01:43 yeah it's very easy same with like royal family and all that kind of shit we're like fuck them anyway this is it's it's there are like issues with a lack of patriotism because when you do need to galvanize a country for something it might be a little bit more difficult like let's say you need to go fight in a war it's probably harder to get everybody to go fight for the flag if you don't really believe that's not a thing by the way because we they tried that recently our prime minister who just got voted out he was trying to introduce a draft or something yeah yeah yeah 16 just like a couple years of service like everyone was like dude i'll go to dubai like tomorrow yeah but yeah that is a that is a tricky thing and it is a tricky thing i think for americans to wrestle with because we are so patriotic and now we're learning about some of the things that America has done.

Starting point is 02:02:25 And you're like, well, I really want to love this place, but I got to wrestle with the past. Yeah. Now, no country is completely innocent. Yeah. But you have to find a thing you can love about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. And, you know, despite the past of Great Britain, there's amazing contributions to the world. So there are things you can really love and be proud of with even, you know, despite, you know,

Starting point is 02:02:47 what you guys did to... Sorry, bro. I don't think you guys didn't do it. Clearly, I didn't do it. I told you about the plantation. Yeah, exactly. I'm a barbarian. And I definitely didn't do it.

Starting point is 02:03:00 You came in at the perfect time. Afro beats God. We're doing a replay. I told you we're good. Okay, okay. So just real quick, Shits and Gigs, everybody go check out their content. You've already seen it. I imagine most people have seen bare minimum clips on social.

Starting point is 02:03:20 I think you do a great job of creating content that is digestible, even for non-super fans. So you've probably seen it. But I think you guys should go check out the live show if there is anywhere tickets left. I'm sure you guys will come back here. But definitely go check out their pods and thank you guys so much for coming. Anything you guys want to promote real quick

Starting point is 02:03:37 or just let people know where they can find you? I don't want to promote anything. One thing I will say is I sincerely appreciate you guys having us. Respect, respect like Alex and Akash, you didn't give up, but you guys made a lot of effort, um, like over like a course of like a year now.

Starting point is 02:03:53 Um, and I, I want to say like, I really, really appreciate it. I've watched you guys show for years. Oh, respect man.

Starting point is 02:03:58 When we started, uh, one of the main influences for us to start a Patreon was how well you guys were doing. No way. That's Akash right there, man. I was homeless. Yeah. So, yeah.

Starting point is 02:04:07 Thank you guys for having us. Absolutely, man. Thank you. You guys killed it and it was great. And it's awesome to see that you guys, I genuinely mean it. It's awesome to see you guys sharing this side of, well, obviously your personalities, but also this side of British culture as well. Thank you, bro.

Starting point is 02:04:21 And I think that's a cool thing that the internet is showing people. It's not the stiff upper lip, only the guys who protect the queen. There is a hilarity, there's a gregariousness, and there's a fun, loving spirit that exists there too. A bubbliness.

Starting point is 02:04:33 And I think that that is seductive to Americans in a very different way. It's not all Bridgerton. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think it's cool that you guys get to be at the forefront of showcasing that. So anyway, bro, congrats, guys.

Starting point is 02:04:46 And best of luck with everything, man.

Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - ShxtsnGigs on Cheating, Immigrant Parents, & Sucking Your Homie

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