Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Stavros Halkias Will Bang Your Wife
Episode Date: June 16, 2022Stavros Halkias, the Greek god, joined the Flagrant crew while Akaash is away on vacation to talk about his hustles: comedy and wives. INDULGE TIME CODES: 2:01 - Stavros' first time with a wife 13:45... - Stavros is a socialist politically and with women 20:35 - the most anti lgbt countries are the most lgbt 32:44 - Schulz and Stavros debate American exceptionalism 1:01:34 - Stavros is CRUSHING the comedy game 1:11:00 - are streaming sites pushing the best comedians away??
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I'll f*** your wife.
I actually have a wife, though.
Oh, that's true.
What's up, everybody, and welcome to Flager.
Today, we have the crown prince of Baltimore in the building.
Give it up for Stavros Halkis, everybody.
Hey.
Thank you for coming, my man.
Appreciate you.
I'm stoked you're here, man.
We were talking a lot before the pod,
but I'm excited because I think that you are doing it
the best right now of, like, the new guys
that are using social media, YouTube,
to, like, push out clips and, like, build a stand-up career.
I think that you're doing it the best, man.
Thanks, man. I appreciate it.
Thank you for having me here. This fucking rocks.
Thank you, bro.
Before we get into...
I just want to say this is fucking insane
that this is a podcast. You know what I mean? This fucking rocks. Thank you, bro. Before we get into, I just want to say, this is fucking insane that this is a podcast.
I feel like I'm about to be offered a million
dollars for you to fuck my wife.
This feels like a layer.
Would you take
the million, though? Would I take the mil? Probably
not, honestly. I'm sorry, dude.
I'm too much of a villager still. First
generation Greek immigrant. I don't want anybody
fucking my wife. Nobody gets to fuck your wife?
I'll fuck your wife.
I actually have a wife, though.
Oh, that's true.
That was the royal wife.
Like anyone's wife, you know?
Philosophically,
I'll fuck somebody's wife,
but I don't want my wife fucked.
Fucking everybody.
That's right.
I will.
I have fucked a couple people's wives.
It's pretty nice.
Have you really? Polly people, like polyam's wives. It's pretty nice. Have you really?
Polly people, though, like polyamorous people.
They bring you in.
Polynesians?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like the big ones.
Yeah, yeah.
I fucked the Rock's cousins.
You have a Samoan vibe a little bit.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, no, I love their vibe.
Absolutely.
Okay, okay.
They ask you, is there like a little bit where you're kind of insulted?
Polly means there are people,
I think you know where I'm going with this.
I know where you're going.
You know, that's funny.
Explain Polly real quick.
So Polly is like an open relationship.
It's like, you know, polyamorous is basically what it means, you know?
Yeah.
There is a little bit of that.
Okay, so there was a girl that I fucked,
the first time anybody,
any time I fucked anybody's girlfriend, wife, whatever.
And I'm the right guy to do it because it's like, it's fun.
You know what I mean?
I'm a good time.
You know what I mean?
You don't want to, I don't, I'm not going to fucking ruin your wedding.
I'm not showing up at the wedding.
I'm not protesting.
You know what I mean?
I'm like, stop.
What about what we had?
It's like, no, dude.
Thank you for showing me your titties.
I'm really happy.
Put me on the registry.
I'll buy you a fucking blender.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm not, I'm the guy to cheat with.
But, yeah, so the first time, actually, there was a girl who, so I was chatting with her online.
And it was going really good.
And it's like, you know, this very early, I wasn't really popping even.
She was just like, something was, she was just like, you know, that I like, she just kind of found me.
She liked you for you.
She liked me for me.
Like before the views.
It was a simpler, more innocent time.
Somebody with a, probably somebody with a charismatic fat father. You know what I mean?
That's probably what it was. But she was like, Hey, I gotta be honest. We were chatting for a
while, you know, sending nudes, the whole thing. And then he's like, look, I gotta be honest. I
have a, I have a boyfriend, but don't worry. I'm going to ask him for an open relationship.
And then two weeks later she was like, okay, so I asked him, he said no.
But then I asked him if I could fuck you specifically,
and he was like, cool with it.
And that was devastating.
It's like, this guy's like, hey, babe,
I'm sorry, we can't open it up.
I just, I love you too much, I don't want to lose you.
And then she showed him a picture of me,
and he was like, oh, yeah, you can fuck that guy.
We'll bounce back from that fucking guy. guy that's where it's kind of insulting it's like wait are
you saying i can't take your wife yeah yeah but you know certainly if i was thinking that way but
i just look at it more as like hey thanks for the pussy man you know what i mean like thanks
and the man is the girl like it's more like instead of seeing it as somebody fucking your
wife when you don't have one it's just like instead of seeing it as somebody fucking your wife
when you don't have one,
it's just like
you just have friends
that let you
suck on their titties.
And that is
the platonic ideal
of friendship,
if you ask me.
It's like,
I don't really like
to hang out with dudes
that much.
Like, girls,
you know what I mean?
I have like my core.
Wait, you don't like
to hang out with guys?
I have my core
of like my boys,
you know what I mean?
And then it's like,
you know,
through comedy,
I've met like, you know, like people that I connect with and I'll fucking chill with them. I have my core of like my boys. You know what I mean? And then it's like, you know, through comedy I've met like, you know,
like people that I connect with
and I'll fucking chill with them
but it's like...
Just say you don't like
hanging with comics, bro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think that's what
you're trying to say.
No, I think...
You watch Love on the Spectrum,
you don't need it in your life.
It's fine.
Yes, absolutely.
I'd like to make more eye contact
than comedians afford.
No, I'm just... Look, I'm not making any new 30-year-old friends that don't do comedy.
You know what I mean?
Like, in what situation do I bump into a guy and I'm like, you're fucking chill, bro.
That was a good talk we had.
Do we want to do this again sometime?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But hang out with a girl.
It's just like, I like being around, like, women are better.
They're nicer.
You know what I mean?
Like, they're just, they have higher emotional intelligence. They smell better. like, women are better. They're nicer. Uh-huh. You know what I mean? Uh-huh. Like, they're just, they have higher emotional intelligence.
Yeah.
They smell better.
Like, everything's better.
Yeah.
And if you want to fuck them, they're like.
Higher emotional intelligence, you think?
Oh, absolutely.
Okay, go on.
Yeah, they read you a little better.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, my, I'll hang out with my fucking best friends in the world, right?
Yeah, yeah.
And we haven't seen each other for months.
I've been on the road, whatever.
Yeah.
And then, like like my buddy was telling
me this story where he was like, yeah, I got back, uh, my buddy Eldish, who's my fucking, you know,
we've been friends since kindergarten. And he would go back and his, his, his girlfriend would
be like, Hey, how, so how's Stav doing? And he's like, uh, pretty good, I guess. You know what I
mean? Like, he's like, what's going on with the tour? Like, is he too busy? He's like, uh, yeah,
we didn't really talk about it that much, you know? And then he's like, well, what about his
brother? I hear he's getting married. He's like, oh yeah, didn't really talk about it that much. And then he's like, well, what about his brother?
I hear he's getting married.
He's like, oh, yeah, I guess he is.
We're calling each other gay.
We're watching fucking John Wick.
You know what I mean?
We're getting high as shit, and we're ordering $300 worth of Chinese food.
That's what we're doing.
That sounds like the perfect French.
That's high emotional intelligence.
But that's great, and I got that in my life
but I want somebody
to ask me how my day's going
and mean it,
you know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
Do you guys want to say it
or should I just say it?
Please do.
In unison.
Can I become,
we're about to become
best friends with you,
you ready?
I'm gay.
I love the support of women.
What can I say?
I'm a homosexual.
Yeah.
And then, and so what I'm saying is when you find someone that you're cool with and you're friends with,
and then she's also like, hey, like, my boyfriend's cool if I fuck my friends.
I'm like, sick.
You know what I mean?
Hold on.
This has happened a lot?
Like, you've.
It is honestly happening a surprising amount.
Are you like a fetish?
Maybe. Yeah, yeah.
I think so.
I think like
there is a type of...
Why are you laughing
at that?
I've never heard
a guy be called a fetish.
Black guys are fetishes
sometimes.
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, yeah, I guess.
To hurt a racist
father's feelings?
That's one of the most
classic moves there is.
Once you go through
all the black guys...
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah. You want to hit another option.
Then you get Ron Jeremy.
Yeah, yeah.
If you want Ron Jeremy, but you don't want all that cock.
You see this guy, you're like, that's going to do some damage.
Let's see what we got at about a quarter size.
When you're sending the nudes, are you like having fun with it?
Oh, yeah, I'm having a blast. Okay, no, no, no, meaning like are you sending funny nudes, are you like having fun with it? Oh, yeah. I'm having a blast.
Okay.
No, no, no.
Meaning like are you sending funny nudes?
Are you trying to be as sexy as possible? No.
See, I'm done being funny.
Like that's the other thing about like even when you fuck and you have to talk, it's like I talk my entire life.
Can I just bust?
Is this a podcast?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is this a fucking podcast?
I don't want to fucking, you know.
I saw a clip of you on Santino's podcast,
bro,
it was so funny.
And you're like,
can I be honest with you?
If,
if podcasts didn't pay me
hundreds of thousands
of dollars,
I would never
fucking do this shit.
Yeah,
yeah.
I think nobody hates
their success more than you.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
totally.
And I think it keeps working
where you keep going,
fuck this.
Yeah.
And then people just keep going,
no, no, no, no, we want more of this. I know, I know. I'm a, I'm negging my audience. Yeah, totally. And I think it keeps working where you keep going, fuck this. Yeah. And then people just keep going, no, no, no, no.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I'm negging my audience.
That's how you fuck wives.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You piece of shit.
No, I don't.
That's the thing.
I fuck wives because it's like they're past that.
Yeah.
They have, they're good, right?
They don't need to be fucking negged anymore.
They just want to have a good, like I fuck them because I'm a good time.
Yeah.
Like I'm a great hang.
You know what I mean? And it's also like I am like i'm rich but i'm i grew up poor so i don't
spend my like i still have a roommate yeah like because i like it's one of my best friends but
it's still part of me is like yeah gotta keep fucking so what i spend my money on is like
you want to come hang out we'll get a 300 lunch yeah but like do you think maybe you have a
roommate because you just like someone else to be there when you fuck? Oh, when I fuck, yeah.
Just fucking with you and a woman,
that might be too weird. Oh, interesting.
But if there's a guy... There's some masculine
energy in the room.
I pick up his pheromones.
When you're telling the girl, like, yo, just call him honey
or something like that.
I do, I do like
to, I do like, it is a
camaraderie thing, truly.
Like, I am, like, fucking, like, I don't think I want to be alone.
Did you fuck someone's wife?
Oh, the wife thing.
No, no, no.
I'm talking about roommate.
No, no, no.
See, that's the other thing.
I don't want, I'm not into the, like, I'm not trying to, I don't want him there.
You know what I mean?
Like.
Oh, I thought you were all together.
No, no, no, no.
I've, again.
So what has he done?
Just hanging out.
I don't know who the fuck he is.
I've never met this guy. You know what I mean? Oh, I thought that this was like. Or even, sometimes I do, and it's like, he, no. So what has he done? Just hanging out. I don't know who the fuck he is. I've never met this guy.
Oh, I thought that this was like...
Or even sometimes I do, and it's like he's cool,
and I'm like, you're fucking cool, dude.
You know what I mean?
So when you meet them, you're at dinner,
or you're meeting them out to drink,
or you're meeting them at the house.
Okay, so yeah, I mean, it's just a case-by-case basis, right?
But usually we'll go out.
There's a few different packages.
You can do the deluxe thing. Explain the deluxe. The deluxe. Okay, wow.
The deluxe. Let's see. I fuck your wife.
I use your towel. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, these guys aren't cucks.
These are people who are also getting pussy
outside of their relationship, and
then they're like, hey, you can also fuck.
I don't care what you do. So the
thing is, I'm like... You can't stall a cuck, bro.
You think so? Because I think I have your villager mentality.
Villager stuff, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
I agree with you where it's like,
it would be hard for me to like,
if it was the love of my life,
it would be really hard for me to be like,
oh, you and Mark hung out?
It was pretty, how was his penis?
It was sucking his cock cool?
Or just hearing her out of breath.
Yeah. Like, why are you like that? Or just hearing her out of breath. Yeah.
Like, why are you like that?
You know what would be even worse?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Her hair is so fucked up.
You guys both go run a little bit?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's whistling all day.
She's in the best mood I've ever seen.
Comes home, fucking leave it to Beaver.
He's dicked down my wife so good,
she's fucking making a casserole for the first time.
Yeah, honestly, all the other parts,
and just watching her, like, get ready would be so weird to me.
Like, I am a little bit, but, like, again, like I said,
if this is somebody who I like, right, and we're just friends,
and we really do vibe, and it's like, come over,
we'll get a fucking nice dinner, we fuck,
and then we just, like, hang out.
And then it's also, like, so this has happened where it's, like, I'll just, like nice dinner we fuck and then we just like hang and then it's also like so this has happened where it's like i'll just like talk to them about my
problems with women and it's like the ultimate friendship where it's like shit no no not like
can she not she's happy for me yeah like that's it that's like the best friend possible you know
what i mean because it's just she is taking something that just a man cannot offer and if
she's cool and she's hot and she's attracted to me, it's like, it's kind of like that, you know,
I think we've all at times, it was like a little bit of a hack idea where it's like, oh bro, if we
could just all fuck each other, right? Like, I think everybody has that joke, the first, you know,
in comedy where you're like, wouldn't it be cool if guys could fuck? If we were gay, our lives would
be so easy. Fuck comedy. Like when we're six,'re like we're gonna grow up yeah we're gonna have one big house yeah yeah
i don't think we talk about fucking at all yeah yeah it's just the vibe so it's like
if you can then replace a guy with just a hot girl you've done that you've taken what gay guys
have the one thing they have you miss the tribe bro huh you miss the tribe you gotta have the
best of both worlds it's it's both though you know you dip in and out but yeah i think honestly i'm it's great and it's like the fucking it's awesome
i love the amount of hilariously undeserved pussy i've been getting uh just the last couple years
it's so fun has it ever got hairy though like not the pussy but like hairy hairless whatever
like a relationship where like there's fallout where like oh like there was a feelings thing or like the guy got pissed.
No, I don't think so.
I think like that's the other thing.
It's like, I mean, I'm like sometimes this happens when I'm visiting a city.
That's the other nice thing.
It's like it's also like when you're on the road, it's just like people know what's up.
You're not going to have a relationship.
It's like it's a fun night.
You know what I mean?
And there's a little bit of that, too.
And I think like that's going back to the fetish thing.
Like, it's a fun night.
You know what I mean?
And there's a little bit of that, too.
And I think, like, that's going back to the fetish thing.
I think there might be, like, a—I mean, there definitely is a type of person that's attracted to a fat guy that believes in himself.
That's definitely out there.
Yeah.
And especially because there seems to be, like, a— What do they look like?
Huh?
What do they look like?
I mean, they are pretty hot.
I mean, it's just like—it depends.
But is there, like, a specific, like, character trait that they have? There's really not. I think it's more of, it depends. But is there like a specific like character trait that they have?
There's really not.
I think it's more of a psychological thing.
Really?
Yeah.
And it's also like, you know, it's like.
Any cuts or anything like that?
Do they have any?
Yeah.
Any signs of trauma?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Loud noises scare them?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, they hide the PTSD pretty well.
But yeah, obviously, just like I am, like, their brains aren't correct.
You know what I mean?
Like, mine isn't either.
Like, the guy's like, sick, I get to fuck someone's wife.
You know what I mean?
And you just make like a, that's like, I'm fucking fucked.
You make the justification afterwards.
It's the fucked up puzzle.
It's like, at a certain point, you're like, well, I'm never fixing this damage.
Dude, you know what I mean? It's like, I just need to find people that we, whatever fucked us up, It's like, at a certain point, you're like, well, I'm never fixing this damage. Dude, you know what I mean?
It's like, I just need to find people that whatever fucked us up, it's like, we just click.
You know what I mean?
That's what you got to do.
Once you're 30, it's like, I'll go to therapy, but let's be honest.
I'm not fixing myself.
You're baked.
Yeah.
You're just going to find out why you're fucked.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm so glad we were talking before the podcast because, like, before the podcast, you were a big socialist.
And you were bringing down, like, the were a big socialist and you were bringing down
the philosophy behind it and you were making these
really convincing points. But now
I'm just like, I think you just want people to share
their wives.
We need a communal wife pool.
For too long, the top 1% biggest cocks
have gotten 99% of the pussy.
It's time to redistribute
pussy.
He was crushing the points.
He was talking about the public school system
and politicians and businesses.
And now I get what it really is.
It's an ethos, for sure.
An over in everywhere.
Yeah, because you're consistent going through
until you get married.
Until I get married then.
And until you get rich.
Then I become a pussy Republican.
Yeah.
Right now.
You would have more fun all right.
If you go all right, I think you'd have more fun.
If I went all right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's easy to just do that. Because they don't respect. You would have more fun all right. If you go all right, I think you'd have more fun. If I went all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, well, it's easy
to just do that
because they don't respect,
you know what I mean?
You don't have to respect
women at all.
It's just like, you know.
But, no, the thing is, though,
no one's letting you fuck.
You have to worry
about getting your ass kicked
if you fuck an all right guy's wife.
But if you go,
if you stay on this part
of the political spectrum,
it's like,
like with poly people, it's like you
can fuck someone's wife and they'll recommend
a Steely Dan album to you afterwards.
You know what I mean? What'd you fucker do?
What'd you fucker do? Were you listening to it?
I'm a no music.
Sorry, sorry. Try the Steely Dan.
No guns in the house.
You know, Mark is
also a very big liberal cuck.
There we go.
No, no, Mark, big go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, Mark, big socialist.
Yeah, yeah, big time. Big time socialist.
Love it.
Not actually.
No, no, no.
I think I would say I'm economically undecided.
Economically undecided?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, but socially liberal, economically on the fence?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're waiting to see what kind of raise Schultz gives you?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, exactly. That's kind of raise Schultz gives you yeah exactly yeah exactly that's on the money
yeah we gotta see
yeah
we might unionize
I think I should give
some to you
and then maybe some
to the other people
but why
why would you do that
we could just spread it around
why is that helpful to anyone
I'm just saying
you had certain advantages
how about you let me spread it
well maybe I don't trust you
to spread it
and maybe we should have a governing body.
No, yeah, yeah.
That would be great if I took it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would love to come here and just unionize.
Just turn on Schultz.
Do you want to leave our union?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
How would you unionize us?
What would be, like, the strategy?
You look like a union boss right now.
Old school.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do love the aesthetics of crooked politicians.
That is kind of my whole vibe.
It's like just fucked up, you know, just like a no-show job.
You know what I mean?
Like the union delegate thing.
I don't know.
Let's see.
I mean, it seems like this is a pretty sick, you know.
First of all, everyone gets their own NBA jam.
It's not just communal.
You can take one home.
That sounds awesome, too.
And then you get the...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mark this day.
The day flagrant split up.
The fucking Yoko Ono.
You guys think Akash is on vacation?
I have him kidnapped and waited.
Until he agrees with my demands.
Your boys with,
actually I don't know if you're boys,
but I saw you roasting Hasan.
That's my guy.
So Hasan, I always hit up
when something happens in the news
that looks like so blatantly,
how do I phrase it?
It looks like,
it looks too easy to make the argument
for the right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I hit up Hazan,
I'm like,
what am I not saying here?
Because he'll usually have it.
Totally.
And if he doesn't have anything,
I'm like, okay, then we can.
Then we're good.
He's like my fact checker.
He's great.
Yeah, yeah.
But he is fucking talented.
He's the best.
Because I was watching,
sometimes I'll watch
some of the streams
or whatever like that,
and it's a different muscle to just talk.
Totally.
For fucking four hours or whatever the hell.
I saw him eating like dinner once on it.
And I was like, there could be a break here.
It's crazy.
No, I know, I know.
I hop on the, like those Twitch streamers are just on there for like 10 hours a day.
And it's like this constant thing.
And I mean, he does, he'll just fucking watch it.
You know, like, you know, he'll go through like a YouTube thing. Or it is, it's like this constant thing and i mean he does he'll just fucking watch it you know like you know he'll go through uh like a youtube thing or it is it's literally educational
sometimes but i went on a stream last time and it's like uh i found out about him because he
started out kind of bashing a clip that we made oh yeah knowing that we were agreeing with him
oh hilarious it's a really funny clip because he starts oh here's the schultz smoke yeah you guys
have been waiting for this. This guy eats shit.
Mark's a smart whatever.
And then we just start agreeing with everything.
And he's like, why don't you guys fucking tell me what the fuck is going on?
They're making good points here.
This is actually pretty good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But no, I like him.
I think he's like, yeah.
Yeah, he is Turkish, which is an issue.
But other than that, he's a great guy.
Who likes the Turks?
Not the Armeniansians i'll tell
you that much i thought they worked that whole thing out like they agreed it didn't happen and
yeah yeah yeah isn't that the agreement we'll put it under the rug yeah it is so funny you don't
have to say rug yeah it is funny because it's like it is funny because greek people still are like
it's just like this rivalry from the 1800s. It's just like they still don't
fuck with Turks. Yeah, it's sports. We're bringing
it together. Yeah, it really is. Like, historically,
are you aware why you don't fuck with the Turks?
Yeah, I mean, the Ottoman Empire took
over Greece in fucking, you know,
I think it was the 1400s, and then
Greece got their independence in 1821.
But didn't the Ottoman Empire kind of like
let everybody do their thing?
A little bit, depending on like, like Greece stayed Christian.
Like they kept their own, you know, whatever.
We, you know, Albanians went fucking Muslim or whatever.
And like certain, certain other places did.
They folded?
Yeah, they folded.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They folded.
They look back at you and they're like, fuck, we could have kept our names.
Yeah, I think, well, I think part of it was they didn't want to pay taxes or something.
I think, I think it was like, literally, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think the Ottoman Empire allowed you to not.
You had to pay the tax.
If you went Muslim, it was like,
all right, well, you're one of us, whatever.
Yeah.
But, you know, one thing Hasan actually told me
is that, which is fucking hysterical,
is that Turks still to this day,
you can get out of military service,
but you have to prove you're gay.
And by the way, they don't count the guy who fucks.
They don't count tops as gay.
They're like real old world with it.
And I was reading this article.
It's so fucking funny.
They were asking the guy,
because he had like a beard,
and they were like,
do you ever wear women's clothing?
These motherfuckers do not understand what being gay is.
And they wanted him to send a picture of him wearing makeup and women's clothing.
That's all it is.
And he was like, that's not what being gay is.
He was like, will you let me send a picture of me kissing a man?
And they were like, we'll accept that.
And there's like a doctor who has to look at the pictures and decide if you're gay enough not to be in the military.
No tongue.
Fucking straight as hell.
It's so fucking sick.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
Fuck, we were talking about the most homophobic culture is how they're kind of the gayest.
They're absolutely the gayest.
There's like a bit about this somewhere.
Because the idea of fucking a man is so outrageous.
That you could hold hands walking down the street.
You could kiss. You could do whatever.
Because, of course, none of you guys are gay.
Cuddle?
Literally. I'm not joking.
In a lot of cultures, there's so much more male affection
because those cultures don't have a lot of male to female affection.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So they're looking for the touch.
They just want people to be more tactile.
And by the way, we're saying like, oh, it's so foreign
to them. They're also like 100%
molesting boys.
That's another good point that he brought up.
That's another good point.
The Greek guy would know.
That's in the past.
Separate the artist from the art.
Yo!
Have you done that bit?
That's a fucking funny bit
where it's like
well listen
if I can't listen to R. Kelly
then you can't do geometry
because
Michelangelo
Bernini
Bernini is Italian right
but like
all these guys had
every
yeah Pythagoras
all these motherfuckers
like you would teach a kid math
and then suck him off
Pythagoras
don't do that fucking thing
when you pronounce it right
I'm sorry
do you know Pythagoras?
Pythagoras.
You motherfucker.
Did you just do the marinara?
I didn't mean to.
I try not to.
I say gyro.
I don't go yeeto.
You know what I mean?
It was just so in my head.
But that's a great fucking bit.
We use not only the math,
but we appreciate the art of all these dudes
that were like banging the kids.
100% fucking kids.
Where do we draw the line?
You could use
Pythagoras' theorem
to draw that line.
You could use that.
He actually,
the angles were
little boys' assholes.
It's a cute.
You're gonna be obtuse
when I'm done with you.
This was like some real good nerd comedy.
Yeah, yeah.
Nerd and child rape.
That Venn diagram, the middle is not that big.
You don't see Demetri Martin.
Talking about fucking children in antiquity.
What a great idea, though.
Yeah, a certain amount of time goes.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's wild.
I mean, they would go, I mean, and like, you know, in the Middle East, they're still doing
that shit, which is fucking hilarious.
And they just don't count it.
Doesn't count.
I mean, you like, you know, you hear about like vets who would come back and be like,
these warlords are fucking kids.
Yeah.
And they're like, we are not on the right side.
Like, they're just like, for multiple reasons.
Like, I mean, you know, we don't have to get into the fucking,
the war, you know.
I don't think anyone here is like pro-Iraq war.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're not pro-war.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it is funny for so many reasons why it was a mistake.
But, yeah, I mean, they love to fucking be homophobe,
misogynistic, and then just fuck boys.
It's a wild—usually that happens a lot.
So we're past it now, though.
Greeks are over it.
When did you guys stop?
Now they're just—about, like, I would say three years ago.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was a point—they wouldn't let us get the 2004 Olympics until we stopped.
Don't get these five rings unless they keep theirs.
No, now they're just sexually harassing women.
Oh, they're into that?
Yeah, oh, big time.
Well, this is the evolution.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Totally.
Absolutely.
The American girls that show up?
Oh, the tourists, big time.
Yeah.
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Yeah, my cousin is a fucking hilarious guy.
So there's a generation of people in is a fun segue yeah there was a generation of people in Greece
that's like the
when the financial crisis happened
it was like
if you're anywhere
between like 40
and like I don't know
in your fucking 20s now
it's like
there just were no jobs
like you just didn't have
shit to do
there was nothing to do
so my cousin was like
I think he trained as a chef
couldn't get any
like didn't really like it
but couldn't really get
any high end
like cause Greece is so
tourism based anyway
that like chef is a great job his brother-in-law was a chef he was gonna hook him up couldn't really get any, like, didn't really like it, but couldn't really get any high-end, like, because Greece is so tourism-based anyway. The, like, chef is a great job.
His brother-in-law was a chef.
He was going to hook him up.
Couldn't really get any jobs.
Didn't like it.
And then he was like, fuck it.
And just for, like, eight years, he would work at a bakery sometimes when he felt like it.
And then he would just go to an island where it's all party, like, just a party fucking island, sleep in a tent,
bar back at a fucking metal bar and just fuck tourists for four months.
And he was like, I'm going to make money.
And he would, every time he would leave,
he would have to ask his father for the boat ride back,
the ticket for the boat ride back.
Like he made no money
and he just lived a sick life.
Happiest guy you know.
I mean, and he fucking,
he actually, it's really funny.
He got into like...
Then he went to acting school
because he was like,
well, why not?
No one's getting a job anywhere.
And then he just like went...
Like this is how small
show business is in Greece.
He was just like open to...
He just went to like an audition
and there was like
fucking 10 guys there
and it was like for
one of the biggest
like comedy,
live comedy theaters
in the country.
The guy liked him
and he's just like set
now he's he really fucking finessed life honestly he was just getting his dick sucked by 22 year
old australians for six years and now he's just became an actor yeah it's usually the opposite
that's true he really put the work in first he was like what happened with the greek economy
um i mean really what i mean you know the in at the in the crux of it it's like in first. What happened with the Greek economy? I mean, really,
in the
crux of it, it's like
they took out a loan.
Honestly, it was kind of like what happened with the
financial crisis here, the mortgage crisis
here, where it was like they were giving loans
that they knew people couldn't pay.
And as long as the bank didn't ask
for it, it was never a big deal.
And then once the economy started faltering a little bit
and they wanted Greece's money back,
they were like, well, we don't have it.
And the fucking irony is they've paid...
These are loans from what, the IMF or something like that?
No, no, no, this is like fucking hedge funds.
Oh, they were getting private loans from just banks?
They got fucked by it.
They got sold out by the like the government made mistakes right
taking these loans
like the center right party
in Greece
and then
and then they asked
for their money back
and the irony is like
just like how debt
completely fucks people
in this country
we saw that in Greece
where it was like
writ large
where it was like
they paid back the money
over
like it's the interest
that fucked them
so it's just to keep these banks' bottom lines good,
an entire generation of Greek people are fucked,
and it's like, that's, you know,
that's why, you know,
we should burn down hedge funds
and that kind of thing.
Wasn't there something like,
and again, I forget exactly the article I was reading,
but like 50% of people were employed by the state
in some way.
Yeah.
It was just like a bloated.
Totally.
And listen, don't get me wrong.
Greeks love to have a good time.
Yeah.
Like there was a lot of fucking, they didn't pay taxes.
Like, you know, I've had people, I had people in my family who just like had two jobs that just, like, I won't say who it is.
Not that anyone will be able to fucking trace it.
But it was like, he literally was like a carpenter for the government somehow and he would just go he would work the night shift sleep in his
office and then just wake up and go to his regular job and he just was like and he was just and then
sometimes he wouldn't go to his regular job he was just like it was just like it's a it's a culture
that loves to fuck around no one was paying taxes everyone's taking naps in the middle of the day
yeah you know what? That's
living, baby. That's how you want to live.
This is what we were talking about before the
pod is that when you've existed
for thousands of years, you start to refine
your culture into the things that give you joy.
And toiling away at a factory
doesn't exactly give you joy.
And I think the Greeks kind of figured it out. The Spanish
have figured it out. Have coffee for
eight hours. There's no Greek Gary V's.
You know what I mean?
There used to be, though.
Yeah, they built civilization.
And then they're like, yeah, we can take a break.
Take a break.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
After you realize.
But you first got to build it.
And that's what we're talking about in America.
Right now, we're hustling.
Right now, the Gary V works here.
We work here.
You're hustling your fucking ass off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
And I want to talk more about your plan and how you put out the special.
Totally, totally.
But, like, it works in America because everybody's here to grind.
But I do think that we'll eventually evolve culturally to a point where we are similar to Europeans that we make fun of now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, hopefully.
I mean, I also think there's just, like—
Oh, yeah, that's if you stay intact.
That's if you don't get invaded and taken over and have your culture changed for you.
Like, you get to be France.
You get to be Italy.
You get to be Greece where you go, you know what?
We should really focus on this cheese.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm proud of this cheese.
I'm working four months out of the year.
But it's also like, and what we were talking about earlier is like those cultures all knew tyranny, right?
Like, they had to get break free from like kings.
Like, they were working forever.
And it's like, we're doing that now.
What's the difference between an Amazon warehouse and a fucking fiefdom?
You know what I mean?
It's like, okay, so you're not pissing in – you're pissing in a water bottle and packing Fitbits for Black Friday.
Is that really that different than fucking picking turnips all day?
Milling buckwheat
I'm gonna say yes but I agree with your point
it's entirely different but I agree with your point
but
specifically
the transition from tyranny
to like I'm gonna grind
well they had to like
what I'm saying is they had to like
there was wars people died over this shit
of course and here too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right?
But I think what happens is like,
immediately after there being one person
in charge of everything, right?
I think once you get your freedom,
you want to exercise it to the biggest,
to like the most that you possibly can, right?
You start going, what can I do
and what can my family do?
Because you couldn't do shit before.
Yeah.
And I think you start thinking about self
and I think in America,
there's this thought about like,
oh, it's just, we have a term, it's just business. What does that mean? Yeah. I I think you start thinking about self and I think in America there's this thought about like, oh, it's just,
we have a term,
it's just business.
What does that mean?
Yeah.
I could fuck you over
because it's just business.
Right, right, right.
I could be an asshole
because it's business.
There's no baseline
human decency.
Yeah, yeah.
Morality goes out the window
because it's business.
Well, I also think
there's a really good branding
of the American dream
that just like,
honestly, I think doesn't exist.
I know,
but I just think statistically
you're way more likely to die
in the fucking tax bracket,
if not socioeconomic bracket,
that you were born in
than you are to move upwards in America.
It's just true.
Most people die where they start.
And in fact, I mean, this is a long time ago.
I stopped being smart 10 years ago.
So I dropped out of college my senior year and I haven't read a book that's not like bullshit since then. You know what I mean, this is a long time ago. I stopped being smart 10 years ago. So, like, I dropped out of college my senior year, and I haven't read a book that's not, like, bullshit since then.
You know what I mean?
Like, I haven't read a book that's not, like, a crime, like, about the mafia.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
American dream.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Truly.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's just, like, you know, statistically, you're just, like, we don't have that shot necessarily.
Like, individuals do, but it's not, like like if you work hard, you're not guaranteed.
And I fully do believe that.
It's like, you know, you give yourself a much better chance.
There you go.
You give yourself a much better chance, but it's like the idea that like, you know,
the working class votes against their, you know, their interests because they're like,
well, when I'm a billionaire,
and it's like, buddy, it ain't happening.
You might make 70 grand instead of 40.
Yeah.
But like, the difference between you and a billionaire is like the difference between,
you know, like it's fucking crazy.
A hundred percent.
Now, remove yourself from it a little bit.
You're creating an idea that people should live through.
You're creating like culture. You're creating culture.
You're creating an ethos.
And you want people
to operate a certain way
in society.
We need kind of rules,
but we also need beliefs, right?
Yeah.
And if religion isn't
the motivating force in society,
and unfortunately,
maybe money is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In order for people
to go work
and not just steal
from their neighbor,
don't they kind of
have to believe
that one day
if they do work hard, that they could
potentially get this thing? Isn't that better
than them believing, hey, you got no shot?
Because if I got no shot, I'm going to shoot somebody.
Right.
I got no shot. And don't get me wrong,
it benefits those billionaire dudes you're talking about
because it's like, as long as they can keep going,
hey, be hopeful, be hopeful.
You could be me. I'm not going to
murder you. Right, right, right., be hopeful. You could be me. I'm not going to murder you.
Right, right, right, right, right.
But once you tell me there's no chance,
I mean, Jeff Bezos can't be on a boat
if you're telling all of us, 300 million people,
we can't, and he has it,
and Elon's not selling me electric cars.
But see, I'm with you,
but what we're talking about then is just like,
is what we're selling.
Because in my opinion opinion that's what's
going on you know what i mean for the vast majority yeah i guess i guess you're right i
guess it's like let's say we all know that yeah what would we still tell people that does would
we rather tell them this that gets them from 40 grand to 70 grand even if it's a little bit of a
lie or would we rather tell them the opposite which makes them stay at 40 and maybe even goes below like yeah i guess i guess to me it's an idea of like we don't have
to tell them shit the world is what we have the most resources in the history of mankind let like
let people go to school for free let people fucking go to the doctor like if you get cancer
you know i get you shouldn't have to fucking mortgage your you know put a second mortgage
on your house if like somebody gets sick in your family.
Let people go to the doctor,
give people childcare,
cover their basics,
and then it's like,
go get a fucking part-time job and you're good.
You have the basics covered,
and it's like,
because there is more,
like what we were talking about,
there's more to life
than this pursuit of fucking money
where it's like,
there's the baseline humanity shit.
I agree with you.
Just have a good ass time.
There is, and let's get European with it.
Go drink coffee with your boys for four hours.
But that's not everybody has the privilege of growing up in an ancient city.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With ancient culture.
Like, that's also a privilege.
Like, you're growing up and there's a fucking, there's a cheese shop down the block that makes cheese.
Yeah.
And they've been doing that for thousands of years.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like, you're like, oh, I like that cheese in st louis yeah you grew up in the hood in st louis is like what is
the thing you're enjoying on a sunday right right right right like you're not looking at this
beautiful bridge that was built but that's fucking 12th century i'm with you i see what you're saying
but i also think like the fact that there is that the fact that that exists in st louis is the
failures of what this country was 100 years ago.
Or like, you know what I mean?
You think we should have built those things already?
What I'm saying is like, yeah, yeah.
Like the reason all that inequality exists is because like, you know, look at what happened with the GI Bill.
And it's like white people got it, black people didn't.
Look what happened with the red line.
What's the GI Bill?
The GI Bill after like World War II.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Or redlining where it's like.
Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Or redlining, where it's like, there's so much hopelessness
because just the way
our society was,
like the architecture
and the structure
was, you know what I mean?
100%.
So it's like,
let's fucking,
let's get to a baseline
and not equality
because equality,
it's like equity
is what you want.
It's like everyone has
a fucking,
we're gonna make.
Everybody has a chance.
Everyone has a real,
a fair shot at it, right?
I think that's where a lot of these ideas get misconstrued.
I think you're just going, hey, can't we make it so everyone has a chance?
And a lot of people just, a lot of people ignore the fact that there is that inequity
and that some people don't even have a chance.
Exactly.
Like, if everybody had a chance and there were some people that were lazier, you would
just go, yeah, that motherfucker's lazy.
Yeah, he's a fucking piece of shit.
You know how many people, like, I grew up in Baltimore in Greektown,
and it's like, some of those motherfuckers aren't getting out of Greektown.
You know what I mean?
You know how many fucking failed DJs I know?
You know how many fucking promoters?
It's like, yeah, what I'm saying is,
that guy should be able to be a fucking loser,
and if he gets fucking melanoma, he can get it looked at.
That's all I'm saying.
And if you're one of the
work your ass off grind dudes,
you actually want complete equity
because it proves
that you're the truth.
A hundred percent.
Yeah.
And if you're worried about
an equal playing ground,
you're worried that you might
have not done it by yourself.
Yeah.
Which nobody does it by their self.
I hate that idea in general.
It's impossible.
Like everybody needs luck. Everybody needs luck.
Everybody needs health.
Everybody needs a team, et cetera.
But if you're one of these guys who's like,
I grind and I do it, just level the playing field.
Totally.
And that's the thing.
It's like you'll have a fucking,
and then it'll be easier to actually try.
I got lucky in a lot of ways where it's like
I was healthy when I was doing comedy.
I could afford to, I lived in a fucking windowless room for 400 bucks and like nothing bad happened to me.
Nothing bad happened to my family.
And it's like – and I was able to eke by, but it's like what if something didn't happen?
You know what I mean?
What if I fucking – my buddy fucking sprained his ACL and just had to move out of New York because he couldn't get up and down the fucking stairs.
It's something that fucking simple.
And then he's set back for like, you know,
that's three years he's got to make up. Whereas like
if you were rich and that happened to you,
it's like you go to the doctor immediately.
You fuck it. You know what I mean? Like you probably
live in a building with an elevator. You know what I mean?
Like it's such simple
shit that we're talking about. And it's like, yeah,
that's the thing. We're going to have losers.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, that's how the bell curve works in kind of everything.
You're basically like, I want to call them losers, but I'm not sure yet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I love shitting on people.
I just want to shit on more of them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just want the ability to shit on them.
You know what I mean?
Where it's like, let them have a comfortable life.
It's like, that's the thing.
It's like why we can shit on athletes.
Yeah.
Because we know.
These are the rules.
Yeah.
Everybody's playing by these same rules.
And you stunk today.
You were,
yeah,
you were dog shit.
And it's fun to be able to say that.
It's like,
your life is so much better than mine.
You're taken care of.
I'm not really,
you know,
fucking with you.
And then what it really comes down to
is that like,
what we're talking about,
and this is maybe where we differ, where it's like like I do think we should just tax these fucking ultra billionaires because these people have a fucking disease.
Is anybody against that though?
That's what I don't understand.
I think they are.
Like people are against taxing them.
I just feel like people don't understand how they avoid taxation.
Yeah.
And if they did, because it's kind of complex.
Super complex.
Yeah, but if they did understand it, I think that they'd be at their homes in pitchforks.
People that get kickbacks.
What are you saying?
If you get kickbacks from billionaires, then yeah, you are against it.
Oh, yeah.
The people that are benefiting off of them are being paid to shut the fuck up.
Right, right, right.
But the average person that's voting against their interests, what you're saying, doesn't realize that these billionaires, they don't pay themselves a salary.
They take loans against their stock.
They find ways to not.
Of course, of course.
And if they knew that,
they'd be like,
hold on,
I'm getting taxed on 40 grand
and this motherfucker's not getting.
Well, it's that,
one of my favorite videos
is when Bernie went on Fox News
and all the fucking bullshit
centrist Democrats
were like,
you shouldn't do that.
That's the enemy.
And it's like,
he's up there at Fox News
and within two questions,
people are applauding
because he's just like these fucking
because they realize oh shit
we do need healthcare like I have been
my employer has fucked my ass
you know what I mean and it's like
that's what I mean is like I'm not
fucking smart I don't even consider
myself a political guy I just think like
these ideas are so simple
you're sharp I think you're underselling yourself
you know what I'm saying though it's like I'm not a fucking academic but you went to school for you were telling me for No, you're sharp. I think you're underselling yourself. You know what I'm saying. I'm not a fucking academic by any stretch.
But you went to school for, you were telling me,
for public policy.
You're also not bullshitting.
The things you're saying, you know what you're talking about.
Yeah, but I dropped out,
and most of my brain has gone to talking about my penis.
I've gotten very good at talking about my penis.
Which, it is a public policy.
It's a public good.
Gals, if you're out there
i wonder what would have happened if if they i mean like the democratic establishment
uh like allowed bernie to win because i really wonder if trump would have beaten bernie it would
have been an awesome i think he would have because i think bernie would have won because i don't know
what trump like could bully bernie about you couldn't because he's not—there is nothing.
He just—his beliefs are not—that's what I admire about the guy more than anything.
It's like, you know, I kind of checked out of politics, honestly.
I was very disillusioned with Obama, a horrific president, when you look at what he actually did.
And it was—and obviously I was like—I was 18.
He's going for it, baby.
He was.
He was.
I mean, look what happened. He got worked by the, baby. He was, he was. I mean, like, look what happened.
He got worked by the Republicans on,
like Obamacare sucked dick.
Is anybody happy with Obamacare?
I don't know.
Al?
I think some people are.
It's better than not having.
But it was a Republican policy.
Mitt Romney created it.
That was his idea.
He was barely a Republican, though.
Yeah, yeah.
But you know what?
It was a, how about this?
What Republican creates healthcare for the state? Huh? Well, that was was his idea. He was barely a Republican though. Yeah, but you know what, it was a, how about this? What Republican creates
healthcare for the state? Huh?
Well, that was his big idea. It was Massachusetts
or whatever it was. The mass thing.
But the whole idea was,
he wasn't like, where we need the fucking,
like, single payer is so simple because it's
like, cut out these fucking leech.
Oh, he was too pussy to go for a
single payer. But he didn't even have like a
public option. So essentially what Obamacare was, was like, hey, the way we're going to solve this is by everybody buying private health insurance.
And it's like that didn't fix anything.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, more people are covered.
But it's like by the end of it, like I had Obamacare.
It was fucking expensive as shit.
Yeah.
And it didn't cover dog shit.
You know what I mean?
It's like the whole thing is a fucking scam.
And he got, you know, he got worked by the Republicans, even though he had like a fucking super majority, whatever.
And then it's like, you look at his foreign policy,
it's like, he's bombing fucking...
You guys both hate weddings a lot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You and I bomb a bunch.
Yeah, absolutely, dude.
But he listens to Outkast, dude.
Yeah, exactly.
Who wins his favorite rapper?
Yeah.
His iPod's awesome.
And it's like, and listen, I fucking love the guy.
I was like,
I kept waiting.
I was like,
here it comes.
He's going to do something.
A lot of us felt that way.
You know?
Yeah,
but I think like,
you're so engaged.
I was like,
second term.
He's going to make it happen.
He just needs to get that second.
And then it's like,
bro,
the second he's out of office,
he's hang gliding with
a fucking billionaire.
He's with Richard Branson.
Who else is he going to hang with?
That's where I have empathy.
It's like,
he's just going to hang with his friends in Hawaii?
Don't take the pictures.
Have the decency to lie to us.
Zuckerberg on the surfboard.
You took it, asshole.
He thought that was a good picture.
There's no paparazzi in the ocean.
Who could have taken it?
It's you and your security guards and your girl.
Well, that's the other thing.
Another thing I talk about all the time
is that I don't respect any billionaires
whose name I know.
You know what I mean?
Because you want motherfuckers to know.
Be on an island.
Enjoy the money.
But that's what I'm saying.
It's not about that.
It's about feeling like you're the fucking man.
Yes.
They want to be, you know what I mean?
100%.
I also do think that there are certain people
whose company they've become the mascot of.
Sure.
So, like, for their company's success,
they also, like,
Elon doesn't have to do
any fucking advertising on NBC
because he's tweeting
and it's more effective.
So he's like, okay, this is cheaper.
Me being the mascot is cheaper.
He also probably likes
to be part of that.
There's a psychology to that, right?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, 100%.
But, yeah, that's a tricky thing about,
I don't know, like,
I try to, like, judge,
like, a president, I guess,
within, like, the expectation I have for them
like I don't really expect any of them to do anything
that is part of his problem is that
he set the bar so high for what you were expecting
it's like the opposite
he was convincing with the spiel
whereas like everyone else I'm like
I never thought Biden would do anything
yeah yeah yeah
dude Biden is hilarious because it's like his whole career
is so funny because it's like he's the senator
from the shittiest state, Delaware,
who gives a fuck about Delaware.
And then it's like, and then it's like,
he's the like, he goes to bat for the crime bill.
Like, he's just like,
he's calling black teenagers super predators.
And then like, when Obama,
when they need someone that they're like,
hey, Obama, we need a running mate
where like
racist white people
will be kind of cool
with
and he's like
Joe
and then
and then
and he got caught
plagiarizing JFK speeches
like four times
like it's like
he didn't stop once
it kept happening
and he kept doing it
like more and more
into the future
where it's even easier
to detect
and then Hillary Clinton is so bad at running for president
that the Democrats are just like, all right, Joe, you get to be president now.
It's like they looked around.
They were like, Bernie's got real support.
And that's, okay, that's where the Obama point finishes,
where it's like he clearly is the one who called all those fucking people.
Like I think Bernie would have won if Buttigieg. You think it was Obama? where it's like he clearly is the one who called all those fucking people like it like i think
bernie would have won if if but you think it was obama i think it was the fucking i mean that's
who that's who is the like i think whoever like that's who they that's who they called on to make
the call is obama you know what i mean because it's like i can see that where it's like he's
the guy who's like guys get him. Because he didn't endorse Biden.
Obama stayed out of it.
And then when it became clear that after South Carolina, when fucking Biden won.
I mean, right, February 2020 was like so hysterical.
Because you felt like I did anyway.
I was like, is Bernie going to fucking win?
Because he was up.
There's no pandemic.
You know what I mean?
Like, shit's going so good.
And then it's like, it's
March, and it's like, wait, what the fuck just...
Joe Biden? Like, I never thought Biden was...
I was like, this is hilarious. Biden's fucking
senile ass is running. And then it was like,
you know, all the other ones, like,
they ate themselves. Buttigieg's fake Obama
ass, and just like, you know,
who else was it? Liz Warren. Where the fuck does
Buttigieg even come from? Dude, he was
the mayor of... Is he CIA? No dude he was the mayor of is he CIA
I don't know
he was in the military
he was like
he's just one of those
old school
like he is
think about the
SGA president
at your high school
he's the purest
most distilled
version of that
where he's somebody
who's wanted to be
president since he was
fucking five years old
he's checked every box
he worked
he literally went to
the army so that he could campaign
on being in the army.
He's not a guy who,
does that look like a,
you know what I mean?
Like,
and I wouldn't be surprised
if he had some kind of like,
you know,
if it was a little,
if a little CIA shit
was going on
because he literally
was the fucking,
he was the mayor
of a college town.
Explain.
Notre Dame.
What little CIA shit
means.
Like,
okay,
like George.
I don't think the average person understands the governmental influence with certain agencies.
Well, if you look at George, the dad, George H.W. Bush, straight up in the CIA.
But break this down.
How does somebody go from the CIA or be kind of taken by the CIA and then be placed into positions of power?
Okay, so he's a good example. from the CIA or be kind of taken by the CIA and then be placed into positions of power.
Okay.
So, you know, it's just like, like you look, so he's a good example because it's like he doesn't really have, if you look at his political career, it's like he doesn't really have like
that much, before he's vice president, he's like, he's in the army and he's like, you
know, and obviously though that family is so like storied, which is like, you know,
his dad.
Very wealthy family. From Connecticut, by the way. Hilarious. They're like, you know. They're like these down South Texans. They're like, yeah, though, that family is so, like, storied, which is, like, you know, his dad. Very wealthy family.
From Connecticut, by the way.
Hilarious.
They're, like, you know.
They're, like, these down-town Texans.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
From the wing of it.
They're from Connecticut.
Fucking went to Yale.
All that shit.
And then it's, like, you know, he was in the Army during whatever.
I guess World War II.
I'm fucking hazy with that shit.
And then it's just, like, you know, I think he's given some kind of title,
but it's like, you look at his work. It's just like he was. All right, guys, we're gonna take
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I don't know.
I read this book.
I told you, I stopped being smart 10 years ago.
I read that book.
Fuck.
Confessions of an Economic Hitman?
No, no, no.
It was like...
He's kind of a son of a bitch, though.
Who's that?
John Perkin?
Yeah, it's like you do it for years
and then profit off of destroying these companies
through these massive debt cycles that they put them in.
And then you write the book about how it's fucked up to do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you make money doing it.
Right, right.
And then you make money saying how fucked up it is.
But then also in the book...
Fuck you, dude.
Also in the book, he's making him sound like James Bond like himself
like in the book
he's like
so I was a young intern
and this older
older executive
comes into my office
and grabs my knee
and says
I need you to make love to me
or some shit like that
what the fuck
does this have to do
with Venezuela buddy
yeah yeah yeah
well it's just like
yeah but it's like
you know
the CIA obviously
has like a history
of like going and like destabilizing you, third world countries and all that kind of shit.
They did it, you know, the Cold War that happens all the time.
Iran, you look at Iran where it was like they had a democratically elected, like social democrat who wanted to nationalize oil.
Fucking Britain that owned it, America that was getting it.
Like they didn't want that shit.
So it's like they literally just fucking overthrow the guy.
And Greece was the same way where it's like,
we had a military junta in like 67 to 74,
and it was only because we had a social democrat,
and they were just like kind of nervous.
He didn't really even do shit yet.
But they were worried that...
The military just, basically what happened is the military was like, we don't like this guy. He didn't really even do shit yet. But they were worried that... The military just...
Basically what happened is the military was like,
we don't like this guy.
We're going to fucking just take over.
And America was just like, all right.
And then years later, they're like,
so what if it was a communist junta?
And they're like, oh, we would have been in there
in 30 seconds.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's just like...
And so if you get those like...
Like, look, I don't know the fucking, the exact...
The concept of an independent country Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, so it's just like, and so if you get those like, like, look, I don't know the fucking, the exact.
The concept of an independent country is a lot more fragile than people think.
Totally.
It's like you think that you are Venezuela and you get to make all your own decisions. And you think that you're like Nicaragua, you get to make all your own decisions.
You really get to make the decisions that the biggest country, most powerful country near you wants you to make.
Yeah, you have to get in where you fit in, in the whole system, where it's like...
But isn't that kind of wild to think about?
Yeah.
Like, America is really the entire western part of the globe.
Yeah.
Because every other country, maybe Brazil has enough clout to kind of do some shit,
but they can't go too far, I would imagine.
Like, they can't just go straight up, yeah, we want China in here, do whatever you want.
Right, right, right.
Because any time there is that influence from another superpower, all of a sudden, like, oh, that's weird, that president was a bad guy. Yeah, yeah, we want China in here, do whatever you want. Right, right, right. Because anytime there is that influence from another superpower,
all of a sudden, like,
oh, that's weird,
that president was a bad guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right?
Like, isn't,
every single time,
like, a left-leaning,
like, you know,
Look at Venezuela.
Exactly, Venezuela,
anything that's like,
oh, yeah, it's like,
what happened?
But it's not even his leanings,
it's who he's,
like, who his cohorts are.
It's like, oh, Russia's
getting in here,
or, oh, China's getting, we just go, well, it's gonna be uncomfortable for you. Yeah, Venezuela's who he's, like, who his cohorts are. It's like, oh, Russia's getting in here, or oh, China's getting in here. We just go,
well, it's going to be uncomfortable for you. Yeah, Venezuela's
hilarious because it's like, he just died of a very
rare cancer. You know what I mean?
It's like, the CIA... Calling China
a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The CIA has a cancer gun, bro.
You know what I mean? Like, they do. They have
a heart attack gun, they have a cancer gun.
The heart attack gun is crazy. That's a real
thing. Yeah. Wait a minute, what?
I saw this on, like, a fucking meme, so I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw it on iFunny.
Yeah.
I don't know if it's completely effective.
Yes.
But, like, you basically, it's, like, shellfish poison or some shit.
Oh, those are conspiracy lighting.
Oh, I love it.
They take, like, shellfish poison or some shit,
and they put it on, like, basically inside a projectile,
and they shoot, and then it, like, enters in their body and they shoot and then it like enters in their body
and gives them a heart attack within like 30 minutes or so.
Yeah, I'm sure they got fucking ways to do like so many.
I mean, they're definitely killing motherfuckers
on the sneak left and right for sure, you know.
But, you know, I don't fuck, like,
I'm too dumb to remember the exact ways
that fucking George H.W. Bush,
but like if you look it up
and you look up
his like career gaps
and then when he gets to be
like vice president.
It looks like there is
some influence.
Yeah, 100%.
And you look at like his,
and then it's just like,
you look at that shit
and you're like,
man,
we don't have fucking control
of anything.
You know what I mean?
Where it's like.
Do we want it?
This is the tough question
I think for a lot of us, right?
Because it's easy for us
to sit down,
we do this every single day on the podcast,
sit down, criticize people's decisions, et cetera.
But one, do we want to be making the decisions
and choosing the course of American history?
And two, do we want to flip that every four years?
Or do we like knowing that there's some other people
really making the big decisions?
And every four years, we kind of get to put
someone over there
who gives us some hope
or we hate.
Right, right, right.
Is that easier for us
to take?
It's easier to watch the theater.
Yeah.
See, that to me
is even that line of thinking
is like,
man, they got us.
You know what I mean?
No, no, but maybe.
But like,
I absolutely think like,
is it going to be easier?
No, but it's like,
even you look at like,
even you take away when I say people vote against their interests, but it's like,
you just see that people like, like, for example, if an abortion ban comes into play, which it seems
like nobody wants that, you know what I mean? Like, I don't think that's coming into play,
Doug. I think, I think it, I think it will at the end of their session, but it's like,
it's just like so much. And because, and because of the way shit is gerrymandered and because of the way like where you look at what most people in america actually
want yeah it doesn't it doesn't happen so we have this horrible like worst of both worlds where it's
like it's like well you voted for it's like not really like it's not really what people wanted
and i just think ultimately to be like do we really want to make these decisions is like one
step away from being like we we should have a king.
You know what I mean?
And it's like, I don't think, I just can't philosophically, you know what I mean?
I know it's hard for you to philosophically get there.
Yeah.
But what I'm saying is, I'm not asking you to decide for you.
Right.
I'm asking what you think the majority of people, if they were honest with themselves, would say.
the majority of people,
if they were honest with themselves,
would say.
Like, if they were truly,
like, the way that we just ignored the whole Epstein shit,
we made cute little T-shirts,
but we didn't really demand anything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right?
We know who was on the flights.
Of course.
We didn't demand shit.
I know.
Rush hour is too good to...
Right, though?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's like,
we can say how we want something different
but at the end of the day
we're just like
yeah
like we sit here
we complain etc
and then we don't
we make jokes about it
because we acknowledge
that we're not actually
trying to change
the fucking world
like we'll be hypocrites
I don't want a real job
I want to be able
to get my dick sucked
I want
facts
yeah yeah yeah
so but at the end of the day
it's like our behavior shows
we see the fucked up shit happen.
Yeah.
And we go naughty.
Right.
But as long as life is pretty good.
Sure.
If life gets shitty,
that's why I'm interested
in what happens with like a recession.
When life gets like really difficult,
really fucked up,
you don't think that...
We're close though.
No, it's happening.
Like, it's like,
look at the infrastructure's crumbling.
Like, that's the thing.
It's like,
they don't even have the decency
to just give us healthcare.
To give us roads, you know what I mean?
That's what happens. It's like when
That's how greedy they've gotten.
But they always pay the price for that.
When the rich get too greedy
and the small person
has nothing
except rebellion, that's
when the pitchforks come out.
So it's like,
they're kind of pushing it
and you see these
American cities
that I'm not saying
they were once like
the fucking flagship city
in America,
but like you see these places
and you're looking
and you're like,
how the fuck is this America
in 2022?
This is unbelievable.
You're on the road.
The rich have insulated
themselves and protected
themselves so much
where it's like,
we can't do shit.
That's going to be true. We don't even know one, two.
How can we affect them?
Elon Musk is like, I don't have a house.
We're showing up to your house.
I'm homeless.
Good luck, motherfucker.
Get on Twitter.
I'm just saying,
you can only push a group of people so far.
I think that they've kept us comfortable and distracted
enough. That that is smart.
But maybe with the recession, it gets to a point where you do see, I mean, you even saw it during the fucking pandemic when everybody's quarantined.
And we actually had to sit down for a second and realize what was going on.
We're like, well, I'd like to protest.
I don't care.
Black lives, okay, I'm down with that.
Asian people, let's protest.
It was like, I'm angry.
Let's go.
Then shit opened up and we were like,
okay, we don't need to protest that much.
They just got us mad at each other, though.
I don't think we're ever going to look up.
We're just going to be mad.
What gets us to look up? That's the question.
Yeah, because it's so cultural.
You need to fuck their wives.
I will.
Dude.
What we need is,
listen, if you get terminal cancer.
Yeah.
Don't do that.
Leave it all out.
I'm sorry.
Morgan!
This is exactly how that's going to play out.
If you get terminal cancer.
Yeah, beep, beep, beep.
You know what has to be done.
Beep, beep, beep, beep.
Cross-eyed motherfucker.
But yeah, I don't know.
Dude, that's the thing.
It's just like, I don't.
And I don't have, obviously, I don't have any fucking, I'm a fucking, I don't have any answers, that's the thing. It's just like I don't – and I don't have – obviously I don't have any – I'm a fucking – I don't have any answers.
But it is interesting to just like be like, damn, it's just like can we get a little – can it be a little better?
Well, it's better for you.
It's better for me.
You've been cooking.
I have.
I was saying this in the beginning, but I remember bumping into you at the Fat Black Pussy Cash, I think.
And I think you were like upstairs.
And I was like, hey, man, you've been killing it.
I've been seeing your stuff pop up on my feed.
And that's usually kind of how I get a bearing, right?
Like who's popping up on my feed
that I haven't even been searching for?
And your stuff started popping up.
And then I was seeing a lot of stuff on Instagram.
And like, it seemed like you had,
you were very methodical about the release.
You have a special out right now.
Yeah, I have a special out right now called,
you should have said that. You should have said that.
You should have said that.
Crushing it.
We were talking about fucking people's wives
and then inciting revolution.
I forgot to plug my special.
But yeah, live at the Lodge room right now.
Live at the Lodge.
Live at the Lodge room.
Lodge room, and it's on YouTube right now.
On my YouTube channel.
Stavros Halkias.
Yep.
And it's crushing.
Yeah, we got 1.5 mil in a week.
So that feels good.
This is great, Greg.
Yeah.
Thank you, man.
But this is not, hey, I'm going to throw up a special because I think that that's how it works.
You were methodical about this shit.
Yeah, I mean, it was the kind of thing where you're just like, well, what the, like, because I, you know, I love stand-up comedy.
It's the thing that, like, I've dedicated my life to, as dumb as that is.
And it's like, we really are kind of like, you you know it's hard to like give it get anyone to
care about stand-up comedy on its own right and i was lucky enough to have a fucking uh like you
know my podcast popped and i was doing a couple you know and i was just like had a little fan
base there and i had you know my socials whatever but i was just like i need people to pay attention
to my stand-up and also people just didn't know that i was good at stand-up like that's the funny thing is when you people know you from a podcast know me from
a podcast you do stand up and you kill so you start thinking oh they know i do stand up i know
no one they have no fucking clue no idea you show them and that's the thing i would do it on the
road and it's like that was fun and people would be like what like they'd be like a surprise they're
like they because the people will just come to see a guy they know. Yeah. You know what I mean?
A lot of times it's a meet and greet.
Yeah, truly.
And, you know, some people make a good living doing that.
You know what I mean?
Well, they get one round.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it does diminish every time.
If they're not good.
And if they're good, people start telling their friends.
Yeah.
And then you're fucking.
So, and it was just the kind of thing where I was just like, like, I need to get fucking
traction going.
And I spent, I made a
conscious decision that this year was going to be the year that I got my standup out there.
And it kind of helped the algorithms all kind of pushed me a certain way. Cause it was like,
you know, no one gave a fuck about still images. Everyone wanted fucking reels. They wanted
TikToks. They wanted that shit. It's like, I'm not learning how to be good at another social
platform. You know what I mean? Like that I'm 33. So it's like, I'm not learning how to be good at another social platform. You know what I mean?
Like that,
I'm 33.
So it's like,
but I saw that standup
played really well, right?
And I started,
I kind of reverse engineered it
where it was like,
what's fucking working?
And it was like,
honestly,
I told you at the Fat Black
where I was like,
you were a blueprint.
You know what I mean?
Where it's like,
where it was just like,
I saw,
and very early on
where it was just like,
you know,
and I also,
to be fair,
I did,
I had that little purist part of me that was just like, this isn't how the fucking, this art form shouldn't be.
You know what I mean?
Where it's just like.
You sound like a tyrant.
No, I'm a comedy Republican.
I am 100% a comedy Republican.
Work your way up.
Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
You don't get anything handed to you.
Be in the wilderness for 10 years. Learn how to get good.
So I did have to fight that, but I just saw it.
And I was preparing for a special, so I was taping every single show I did.
Because I was just like, I want to know what I'm doing.
I wanted to watch myself.
And I was like, you know what?
Maybe there will be some bits I don't use.
And I wasn't even really thinking about the crowd work
because that was just kind of
something I did for fun.
Yeah.
And then I went,
I taped a whole year's worth of shows
and I had them
and I was just like,
well,
I need to build up
my YouTube channel
before I drop, right?
Because I had 25,000 subscribers,
which is not bad,
but it's, you know,
not the kind of thing
that gets you a million views.
And I was just like,
all right,
well, let me just try and post some clips.
But I was like, it's so funny
because the crowd work was an accident
because I was just like,
well, before I have time to go through
and decide what I'm going to cut out of my special,
I'll just post a couple of crowd work things here and there.
And they just fucking popped.
And I was just like, well, I have a ton of this.
I just kind of did it, you know,
because it's like, I think that's...
I think it's a good mix.
It's a great, yeah.
You had like a good mix of crowd work.
Totally.
You had bits and you were putting it out and it was methodical.
And it was for maybe how long before you dropped?
So I did, I started in February and I dropped in June.
So it was four months.
And I mean, this is, and you create some momentum.
You create some curiosity.
Not only create new fans, but you're creating creating these portals of entry for you on YouTube.
And I did everything.
I did TikTok, YouTube, Instagram.
And then when you do a stream with Hasan and it goes up on YouTube, all those people that watch that get recommended a clip.
And they're like, oh, fuck, I really love this guy's stand-up.
So everything else that you do online feeds what you created.
And that was the idea.
And it was funny because it was like I kind of saw stand-up. That was like, let's like, let's,
and it was funny because it was like,
I kind of saw stand-up
and I was like,
let me just establish
myself as stand-up
but it really is
a separate thing
where it's like,
I kind of established
myself as like
a crowd work comic
which like,
I didn't,
I never like,
I just,
I've always wanted to be
like,
like Bird talked about this
where he was like,
every special I wanted to add,
he wanted to add a new thing
and I kind of think of like,
what's the point of comedy if you're not, you want to be a five-tool comic, right?
Where you do everything.
You add everything, storytelling.
Like I started Setup Punch and then it's like I did a little crowd work to get my, because I was nervous.
I used to be nervous on stage.
Yeah, yeah.
I was like let's just try it.
Yeah.
And then storytelling and then honestly podcasting has become one of the tools.
Of course.
You know what I mean?
Just hanging out.
And not everybody can do it.
Yeah.
Not everybody can.
This is different.
There are comics that we think are absolutely amazing on stage.
Yeah, genius.
But this is very hard for them.
Totally, totally.
Like just riffing with somebody.
Yeah.
Like, you know, getting on a funny tangent.
Totally.
Eye contact.
Eye contact.
It's all part of it.
That's one of the tools, actually.
Yeah, yeah.
Eye contact.
Yeah, one of the first ones.
But it's important.
And so, yeah, dude.
And it was just the kind of thing where I was lucky
because I established myself as, like, people knew me from the podcast.
And I was pretty funny online, but it wasn't something I cared about.
And then it was, like, the crowd work kind of popped.
And then the special was, like, that was cool, too, because it was, like,
people were like, well, he's really good at crowd work.
And they just assumed, like, oh, he's on a podcast.
He knows how to riff.
And then it was cool.
It was actually really gratifying to be like,
there's an hour of jokes
you're about to watch
that some of you don't even think
I'm capable of.
So it was great, man.
And it was just like,
it worked better than I thought.
I mean,
the fucking YouTube shit
popped off in a way
that I was like,
truly not imagining.
Like, I went from 25,000
to like,
I think right now
I have 325,000,
you know what I mean? Where it's just like, I was like now I have 325,000. You know what I mean?
Where it's just like,
I was like, what the fuck?
And so, but it was cool
because it was like,
and I've kind of thought about it
where it's like,
I do have that purist thing,
but I also think the way
we record standup in general
is fake.
Like a special is not being in a room.
And what's special,
what like,
what is awesome about comedy
and standup is that it is the most, like,
the context changes every night.
And the show is the relationship
with the crowd.
Yeah, what is the purest thing
that you're getting into?
Well, I was just saying, like,
I wanted to release
a well-thought-out hour.
Nobody saw any of the bits,
and it all works together,
and it's like,
it's just like,
it'll speak for itself. But, A, that's not how it works. Right. That's fucking old fashioned.
That's stupid to think that way. And B, it's like, I actually have found that it's like,
well, if what's special about standup is that you forge a, a like unique relationship with every
crowd and there are moments that will never happen again that
happen in that crowd and if you figure out a way to do to you know it doesn't you still don't get
like i mean you know it too it's like so many of your clips are these awesome organic moments
and it comes across but it doesn't feel as good as it feels in that room you get 80 you get 85
and you get the point across as good or even better than some recorded stand-up.
So it's like, I actually found it was like,
actually I was like, oh, this is actually like,
I am showing some really fun moments.
And the other thing is, it made me a better comic
because I was really in the moment.
It's really easy.
So the first half of the tour, I was just polishing my hour.
That is your authentic reaction.
If you don't have that in you,
if you don't have the pure
like funny in you,
and some people don't have it
and that's fine
and they can be very good comics too.
Totally, totally.
But if you don't have
that pure funny,
then you're not gonna have
that instinct in the moment
to do that thing
that's the funniest thing
to do in the moment.
And I think that's why
it like penetrates to people.
I think, yeah, for sure.
You know, like I,
I think I'm in a similar boat
where like a lot of people know the crowd work stuff. I mean, that, for sure. You know, like, I think I'm in a similar boat where, like, a lot of people know the
crowd work stuff. I mean, that was an idea
to do the crowd work special, and we did it from Alex
on our way down. Yeah.
You know, in a train to D.C.
He goes, you want to just, like, tape it,
and you just do the crowd work, and then, like, we'll just put it out?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even before that, I had released
two things that were just bits. Yeah. Like, I
love bits, and I still do
love bits. Totally, of course.
And it's like,
and then when I put out
the special,
ideally, like,
refusing these things,
but for me, like,
I just love the most,
like, authentic connection.
Yeah.
And when that connection
is real,
when we're doing bits,
don't get me wrong,
like, we're pretending.
Yeah.
We're pretending in the bit.
And you can tap into something
through the bit.
That's what it is.
You can.
It's like,
you tap into the emotion.
And for me, when I'm getting a reaction from them, that's where I can tap in and I can, like, feel what I felt when I was originally telling that story or doing that bit.
Totally.
And then you create this thing that you know isn't real.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But feels fucking real, dude.
Feels real, for sure.
So it's like, yeah, getting that in a crowd work moment or getting that in a bit moment where, dude, I think there's's gonna be a point in my career where I'm like, what if I just did
like a one-liner special?
Yeah, absolutely.
I haven't worked
on one-liners.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I admire people
who are really good at them.
Yeah.
Do an act-out special.
It's just only act-out.
Just only, like,
not for real.
Just stool work.
Right?
Like, I don't know.
I just, I'm like,
yeah, I don't think
that we should be so rigid
with what this thing is.
And now that we have the freedom, we had to be rigid before because HBO wasn't paying for some, like, just you to do something random.
Yeah.
They're like, hey, do the thing that works.
Now that we're putting it out, it's whatever the fuck.
Totally.
We want it to be.
And there's so much, and like, I do, like, I want to do a crowd work special.
And that's the next, like, that's the next big project.
Yeah.
And I want to, like, think about the way to do it that's like, you know.
How can you shoot it?
Exactly.
What's the environment?
Push it, push it.
You always want to be pushed.
And that's what I try to do with my special where it's like, there were some great YouTube specials.
There were some great hours out there.
But I was like, I want this.
I just, you have to take, everything has to go to the next level or you're not going to stand out.
So that's what I tried to do.
I also think it's funny when people call them YouTube specials.
Like, soon there will be no other place but YouTube for a special.
It is really funny that, like, by accident,
like, Netflix, HBO, all these, like, streamers
have pushed, like, some of the best comedy
onto fucking YouTube, on their biggest competitor.
It's the best.
And it was just, it was a real,
I do think it will be a like tactical error on their part.
It's huge.
You know, because it's like,
but it's like people watch you.
For me, it was almost like.
I tell them every time I'm on the phone,
I'm like, if you just paid me,
you'd have a job in the future.
Yeah.
But you fucked up.
He really said that.
I said that.
I go, if you paid me, you would still be working.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you didn't. I said that. I go, if you paid me, you would still be working. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you didn't.
I know.
So it is what it is.
And like, I like that
it can just get out there.
Like, again, for me,
the biggest thing...
All that we care about.
I just wanted people to see it.
People.
That's all we care about.
And Netflix had it.
Netflix thought that like,
I think a lot of these networks
thought that like,
we were doing it
because it was really important
that there was like an end
that popped up
before we started talking.
You just had the people.
The second you don't have the people, it's like loyalty.
This is kind of fucked up to say, but it's true.
It's like loyalty to a comedy club.
It's like we all love the club that's full.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
But, like, if there's two people in the audience, we're going to see how many people love that fucking club every time.
Like, we'd love a nice full one.
So the same thing, once you lost the people,
there are people that are putting Netflix specials out
and nobody's watching.
Of course, yeah.
It's like, wouldn't you rather everybody see that?
They're putting Netflix specials out.
You're putting yours out.
And they're seeing that number and they're going, fuck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then when you do a new tour,
they're going to see where you're performing
and they're going to go, I'm never doing that shit again.
Was it worth the hundred grand?
Yeah, yeah.
Whatever it is.
And now they can't afford, you know, because stocks are low, now they can't afford the big fucking numbers.
So now they're not paying you the big shit.
Yeah, but they're also not finding the next generation that might have loyalty to them.
If, you know, if like six months ago someone gave me a fucking huge a fucking huge, I recorded this by myself,
I didn't want to fucking pay $40,000.
You know what I mean?
I would have loved for someone to do it.
You're a comedy Republican, bro.
I am, yeah, yeah.
I really am.
It's like, who's paying?
I'm not a lot.
If somebody just hands me a fucking check
for $100 million,
and like, hey, listen,
we want a few specials from you,
I'm going to find a way.
Yes, Roku.
I don't care.
You know what I'm saying?
We can make this happen.
100%.
But at the same time,
if...
Put me on Tubi.
You'll be on Daily Wire.
Vince Shapiro presents
the Newsmax special.
You know,
it's actually cool
to not ever get your wife wet.
But I guess what I'm saying
is like...
It kills. But if they can I'm saying is like,
but if they can't pay you the amount of money that's worth
people not seeing it.
Yeah, yeah, right, right, right.
You gotta pay me for who's not gonna see it.
100%, yeah, yeah.
They can't pay you for who's not gonna see it
and nobody's gonna see it.
Yeah.
Buddy, I'm putting it up here.
I'm gonna find another way.
I have another way.
Totally, totally.
That I'll, people will find out about soon,
but I think there is a way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll talk about it. I'd love to.
But yeah, no, it's been sick, and I'm really
excited, and I can't wait to...
I mean, I need a little time off, because
it's been nine months in a row, and it's like I'm just
fucking too unhealthy, but I'm
gearing up for a really big 2023, and
I just, you know... I'm excited to see the...
I get excited when I see guys that have
committed to this strategy because
you can really see what happens in their
career. I kind of like...
I know what you're about to go through.
You know when somebody says they're going to watch Game of Thrones
for the first time and you're just like,
oh, dude, this is going to be awesome.
I know what you're about to go through
and it's really fucking exciting. Let's avoid the red wedding. Oh, dude, this is going to be awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you're about to go through.
Let's avoid the red wedding.
But then how will you have sex with me?
You're right.
No, but Al was with me.
I remember, like, we were going on the road, and it was just really cool.
Yeah.
No, it's been great.
I mean, even this year has been fucking crazy. And I've been really lucky.
Like, I just hired two of my best friends.
Yeah.
And it's just like, that's the other thing.
It's like, like, I want, like, yes, I'm a comedy Republican in the way that it's like,
I want, I just think you should earn it.
And it's like, it's talent.
Yeah, yeah.
And it should, like, it wins out.
But also, it's like, I'm happy now, bro.
Like, I, of course, I'll take it to the like you know the i'll work i will not i'm not
gonna stop working hard i'm in the middle of like whatever prime you have like it's now but like
if if you told me when i was fucking 19 that it's like i get to travel do headline clubs my best
friends are with me and we just like my work meetings are like you know a google meet with my
like a guy i've known since kindergarten yep I'd be like, can I sign a contract
for this to be the rest of my life?
You know what I mean?
I fucking love it.
It's awesome.
It is.
Yeah, we're really,
we're fucking blessed.
And that's why I think
the world's ending
because my life is going well.
That's why I think
the nuclear holocaust is imminent.
Things are too good right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's why I do believe, and don't get me wrong Things are too good right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that's why I do believe, and don't get me wrong, we've been incredibly lucky and have very fortunate things happen.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
But that's why I do believe in the dream a little bit because, like you, you're working with your, like, my boy Dove that you met is the first friend I met at college.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
That's awesome.
Jameel, who I don't even think is here, is one of my first friends I met in high school.
Yeah.
Right?
I mean, like, Al, I met, I thought he was another guy.
Yeah.
He DM'd me as a guy who used to do comedy.
He made up a name.
Yeah.
It just so happened.
So I started messaging back and forth because I love that guy.
The name was Bob Staggum, by the way.
Yeah.
He said, yo, my name's Bob.
But it's like, yeah, we've been able to create these things.
And, like, meeting Mark, having Mark come on. Miles is Mark's buddy from college. Yeah, yeah, we've been able to create these things and like meeting Mark,
having Mark come on.
Miles is Mark's buddy
from college.
Like that kind of thing
trickles down
and it's just fucking great
and you're building
these things
and I don't know,
I guess that's why
I'm bullish on this idea
of American dream
or whatever.
Well,
here's the thing,
what I'll say about it,
it's like,
yes,
it's possible,
but here's the thing,
it's a casino.
I love casinos.
I have a great time
at casinos,
but it's like, I happen to hit on the roulette.
You know what I mean?
We're the house.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll hit the, like, we're, you know what we are?
Truly, we're the guys at the casinos who know the rules of blackjack
and just stay there for hours doing it.
Give me 51%.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
51% chance.
And we're grinding it out. You we can, you know what I mean?
And eventually we get successful enough, and then YouTube
finds out, and they're like, you're banned from the fucking
YouTube.
Exactly. But yeah, I don't know. Enjoy it. I guess
that's what I'm trying to say. Thanks, man. No, I'm having a fucking blast.
I know there's like, you know, we could have a
tendency of like to, you know, figure out all the
things that maybe we could be doing, or like
why we don't deserve, or something like that.
And it kind of like ruins the joy a little bit.
Totally.
So it's one of those things
that I've tried really hard to,
instead of going,
why I shouldn't have it,
I go, I'm so lucky.
Totally.
Right?
Well, that's what it is
and like I am taking,
like I know it's kind of like
my strategy isn't necessarily
the soundest
because it's like
I could do really good numbers
on the road
off the strength of this right now
but I just knew that I needed time off
and I needed to enjoy it.
Like, A, enjoy it,
but also just like decompress
and it's like, yeah, what's the point?
Evolve, dude.
Like, don't force out the material.
Be a human being.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, like, I don't know.
At least for me,
I gotta care about this shit
that I'm talking about.
Of course.
So it's like, yeah,
you reach the end of your rope
and you need to like find out
how you're a different person.
Yeah. You know, like how you fucking change
and come back and miss it
that's the other thing
once you miss it
it's like then the fire
is back
because right now
it's like
I am fucking phoning it in
Philly's already sold out
I don't have to plug it
the shows are gonna be bad
folks
they try to tell you
to do radio
you're like for what
literally
I was like, no.
It's done. We did the job.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm excited to just fucking get back with the fire
and just do other shit. Have you gotten a lot of
Greek love? It started
now. The thing is, when I first
started doing comedy, the local
Greek people wanted me to
do the Greek shows.
It's like, you want me to come do oh, yeah, I'll do my, should I do my ass eating
chunk at St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Festival?
You know what I mean?
It's like, I've just, it was not that comic at all where it's like, there's such an ethnic
like hack circuit.
Yeah.
But, you know, now I've been doing comedy, what, 14 years, whatever.
And it's like, in this special, there is a lot of stuff about, like, growing up as an immigrant and having, like, a Greek family and all this stuff that just kind of organically happens.
Because it's hilarious.
Yeah.
They're funny people.
It's very funny.
But they don't feel like Greek bits to me.
Like, it doesn't feel like, oh, I'm the Greek guy.
Well, it's relatable to, like, Greek people love that shit, and I've gotten a lot of it.
But non-Greeks can appreciate.
It's more of an immigrant thing.
That's the thing you recognize,
is that the fish-out-of-water story is what it is.
That's why Sebastian kills with more than just Italians.
People thought it was all these Italians.
It's fucking Indians at his show, Muslims, everything.
My dad is also like that.
My family is also like that.
It is the immigrant experience.
And it's not
as unique, I guess,
as we thought. Totally. No, no.
Everybody thinks that they're existing in their own bubble.
Oh, dude. It's so funny because every
ethnic group is just
like, everything they say, it's like,
you know Greek people, they love to
eat.
Like, you know, there's like,
black people are always late. It's like, every culture says that about themselves. You know Greek know, there's like black people are always late. It's like every
culture says that about themselves.
You know Greek time. It's like,
no, everyone is just the same.
A lot of people are just perfect.
I think that's what it is.
In summation,
the final thesis
is that like, except for American
whites.
Well, good shit, man. I'm stoked for you, dude.
I really am.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for having me.
Let the people know any other place they could.
I know the tour is almost done.
Yeah, tour is ending.
But I will say I'm taking it real easy in the fall.
But there are a couple fall dates.
I'm going to be in Denver.
But, yeah, I'm going to be in Denver.
I'm going to be in Pittsburgh.
I'm going to be in Phoenix.
I'm doing Carolines in December.
So there's a handful for
me to gear up for 2023. But yeah, just the YouTube channel is really what it is. I mean, I'm really
investing in that a lot. I post, I'm a little in the special breathe a little bit, but when this,
you know, I post every day, I post a short and then I also twice a week post like a longer
clip from like a, you know, either topical stuff, crowd work, whatever, just like a three
to five minute bit.
So I do a lot,
I post a lot
on my YouTube channel
and I'm,
there's a couple things
I got cooking
so just go to
the YouTube channel,
you know,
Instagram,
TikTok.
Your Instagram,
what is?
Stavi Baby 2.
Stavi Baby 2.
S-T-A-V-V-Y Baby 2
and yeah,
stavi.biz
is my website.
I'm gonna have
some cool merch
for the special up there
and just a bunch of stuff. So just watch the special. That's really what it is, man. Well, listen, webiz is my website. I'm going to have some cool merch for the special up there and just a bunch of stuff.
So just watch the special.
That's really what it is, man.
Well, listen, we wish you best of luck.
Thank you so much for coming on.
Thanks for having me, bro.
Appreciate it, Alex.
Peace.