Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - The Most Flagrant Moments of 2020
Episode Date: January 5, 2021LAST week we went over the most flagrant moments of 2020 in preparation for even more in 2021. Thank you to all of the Assholes that have stuck with us since the beginning, and thanks to the ones that... joined the Army this year. We had crazy growth in 2020 and that's all thanks to you guys spreading the word. Thank you, and we got tons planned for y'all in 2021, get ready. INDULGE!!! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2 Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a choir then welcome to The Flagrancy.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
what's up everybody and welcome to um one of our favorite times of the year a time of reflection
a time to look back at all the great crazy wild flagrant work that we've done in 2020 and that's
right we have taken all of our favorite clips throughout the year and we've consolidated them
into one highlight reel that is more flagrant
than your something something something man i was on a roll in the beginning i'm not even gonna stop
it i'm gonna keep going i was gonna stop but nah the rhythm is there the rhythm is gonna take you
over the rhythm is gonna take me over the rhythm is gonna take me over the rhythm is a is a dancer is that a song that's it anyway point is we are here for the 2020
most flagrant moments of the year and i cannot wait to start it and i think al it's only right
that we started with this next one right i'm watching cobra khan there's this fine
ass little boy in that fucking show Wait wait wait Son son son Son son son
Keep talking
Keep talking
That's a little boy Ayo
That's crazy
You just said little boy
I don't even know what the Ayo is for that
Baby Ayo
There is
There is in the fucking
There is in the show There is in the show
No no no
We're leaving this all in
He bailed me
That was so trash
I'm talking about his joke
Oh his joke
Now don't cut that out
Leave that shit in
You need to feel that
Feel that
Let him feel it
Okay ready
Should we rewind right now
Run it back in the edit
Keep going
No no
Meaning I'm saying in the edit I want you to repeat the joke again for every playlist.
No, that's messed up.
Okay.
That's messed up.
So, I'm watching Cobra Kai.
All right.
Okay?
Yep.
We already talked about this.
Okay?
There's this actor.
I wasn't as on board.
I know.
Keep it cool.
Don't leave me now.
Don't leave me now.
I know why you're bringing me into this.
Oh, gosh.
Don't leave me now. Okay? No, now. I don't know why you're bringing me into this. I got you. Don't leave me now.
Okay?
No, listen.
This player won right now.
Please look at how old this fine-ass human being is.
Hey, just go to the IMDB page and see if you can guess who we're talking about.
No, no, no, no.
Just look how old he is.
Not Miguel.
That little white boy.
Look at that. How old That little white boy Look at that
How old
How old that little white boy
Robbie
How old is he
Just make sure he's over 18
Wait his name's Robbie
No his character's name
Is Robbie in the show
What's the name of the show
The Cobra Kai
Is the name of the show
Tanner Buchanan
Look how old he is
Okay
I need to know this
Before I continue this
This is tense
How old
21 Knew that motherfucker was legal
i knew he was legal now come get this sexual harassment all right let me tell you this
little topanga looking motherfucker out here all right this man this dude made me feel weird bro
the first scene he got this little bob haircut. Yeah. OK? Perfect, straight, thick, luscious hair.
This dude?
Thick.
That dude right there.
Son, Mark just set your ass up.
He just turned 18.
No.
No, he's 21.
February 4, 2002.
Bro, I just looked this shit up right here.
Mark just set you up.
This motherfucker is barely legal, son.
What is he?
How old is he?
It says 21 on Wikipedia.
21, Wikipedia.
That's what we going with.
All right?
All right.
Okay.
Stop looking up barelylegal.com for fucking information, bro.
You always want that shit to be turning 18.
I just showed him this dude.
He said, yeah.
That's the character, motherfucker.
The character, you idiot.
You fucking retard.
Hold on.
Yo.
Hold on.
Hold on. What's hold on. Hold on.
What's your name?
Hold on.
This motherfucker just
Hold the character
in the show.
Yo,
this guy just
Yo,
how old is Wolverine?
Yo,
Wolverine's technically
233
because you age faster
when you recover.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
Hey,
I'm switching cameras.
I'm monitoring
order.
If I miss this shit,
nobody asks you to age. Okay? If I miss that, that's all good. Whatever. I'm monitored Ordered audio If I miss this shit Nobody asks you to age
Okay
If I miss that
That's all good
Whatever
I'm looking quick
I'm googling quick guys
This guy right here
I got it
No this is hilarious
It got
It got his whole family
In the bio
Don't take it away
It's got his whole family
In his bio
His
His teacher
Is Danny LaRusso
You don't recognize those names come on bro love interest samantha
larusso anyway back to what i'm saying okay this kid shows up first scene yeah got this little bob
haircut mad feminine mad topanga yeah looking like a prettier mark looking like a pretty night
you don't look like mark bro when you said that that shit made me feel uncomfortable
because i was i was bringing to the table how cute that motherfucker was so this is what Looking like a pretty night. You don't look like Mark. When you said that, that shit made me feel uncomfortable. Come on, bro. That's what I'm saying.
Because I was bringing to the table how cute that motherfucker was.
So this is what happened.
The other day, we're at the table just discussing the show.
Shit felt mad weird.
So we're at the table discussing the show, right?
I'm like, yo, I'm watching this Cobra Kai.
I was like, let me tell you, there's this one character on that show.
And out of nowhere, our coach goes, yeah, the cute one.
And I'm about to be like, yeah, that motherfucker.
And then our coach goes, motherfucker look just like i'm about to be like yeah and then our coach goes motherfucker look just like mark and i was like look at that kid that's a female bro that's mark That's Mark, yo. That is me. Son, where's J.K. Rowling?
You low-key got a crush on Mark, son.
Where's J.K. Rowling, son?
Nah, you ain't got to like that, bro.
You ain't got to like that.
First of all, you know what, though?
Look at that brow.
Look at that brow.
He got a normal-ass brow.
You know what I mean?
It ain't that normal.
It's kind of frozen.
If that was Mark, there'd be a shadow on his shoulder blades right now.
I don't know, damn, bro. that's not fucking mark okay look at him looking up in the air
look smoldering right now because this little motherfucker be looking smoldering
i'm not feeling comfortable with this bro i'm not feeling comfortable serve him
oh dude that's wild right
Cross your arms a little bit
Hold on now
Maybe it is
Cross your arms a little bit
Oh shit bro
Oh shit
What's your little cute ass
What y'all doing
All these late nights
Mark bro
You just got a raise
Out of my pants bro
You just got a raise
Wait is that harassment
Anyway Point is This motherfucker right here Looks feminine wait is that harassment anyway
point is
this motherfucker
right here
looks feminine
does he not
look at the haircut
alright
he's 21
look at the haircut
I think
I think you just
wanna fuck him
so you try to make him
look feminine
all I know is
the first scene
that I saw
yeah
this is what happens
I'm watching with my girl
and we're watching the show
and he pops up
and I literally I literally go like this I happens I'm watching with my girl and we're watching the show and he pops up literally I literally going to I go I go
first I pops up right he's all like he's all like a little confused, like a little deer in headlights, a little look. And I just go, I just go, man, come on, yo.
What's this?
Hey, yo.
My body didn't know what to do.
So my body didn't know what to do.
Because I was like, wow, I couldn't explain it, bro.
I felt like J.K. Rowling.
That's why she, that's why she ran those books.
Why?
Little tranny kid right here making you feel weird.
Not the Harry Potter book.
Why?
What?
What?
Avina Kadabra, bro.
Get the fuck out of here.
I had enough of this kid.
Oh, my God.
God damn.
You can't deny he's objectively cute for a boy oh he is trying
to get you in that have you seen cobra kai uh no i haven't watched and you want to fuck the
little boy i don't want to fuck him yes you are but the motherfucker looked like a girl that's
cute a little boy on there look heller like mark and andrew on you don't look like mark
stop doing that karate mark mark was trying to take kickboxing class i cut Now I'm seeing it He actually kind of does it Like Now I'm seeing it bro Now I'm seeing it
Stop doing that karate Mark
Mark was trying to take
Kickboxing classes
I cut that shit out
Real quick bro
I did
I told your boy
What's his name?
The Spanish kid
Chang
What?
Chang
Chino
Chang
That's close bro
What the fuck you want me to do?
Chino and Chang
That's almost it
You telling me that Don't look like a girl bro But yo There's girls Show the people out What the fuck you want me to do? Chino and Chang, that's almost it.
You telling me that don't look like a girl, bro?
But yo, there's girls. Show the people how.
There's girls.
You don't have to fuck guys that look like girls.
Yeah, but the girls are under it.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
I've already thought it through.
Let's think about the good ass point first.
I've already thought it through, Mark.
Okay.
The girls in that show, under 18.
Creep.
Hey, QAnon, look at this guy hey q and r q's and nons do your research
it's up to you they're under 18 they're young ass girls the mom in that show fine as fuck though
the mom gorgeous white mom right there bro be honest she gorgeous she's a piece my girl was
getting jealous when i was talking about that mom i was was like, how old do you think she is? She was like 40. I was like, mm-hmm.
I was like, mm-hmm.
She got the meats.
You know what I'm saying, Taylor?
She got the meats.
Them shits slapping together in them fucking dungarees she's wearing.
Let's be serious.
Pushing out that little fat-ass kid in that show.
You know that little fat-ass kid?
That little fat-ass kid didn't come out early.
You know what that means is slapping.
She out there with a cat's deli sandwich.
Okay?
And I'm all for it.
Get me some rye bread and some mustard.
Because your boy is hungry.
Okay?
I had enough. I had enough
I had enough of all of you
Judging me
When this fine ass little boy out here
Perking up his titties
Shirt off
Yo look at Matt smoldering
Look at smoldering
With the Topanga
Tell me that's not Topanga
It looked like Mark
It really does
Thank you bro
Let's go
Y'all are really ruining for me Let's go That dude was a cute ass girl Until you said it looked like Mark Now Thank you, bro. Let's go. Y'all are really ruining for me.
That dude was a cute-ass girl until you said it looked like Mark.
Now I'm repulsed.
Topagnon.
I'm just kidding.
Obviously quite flagrant, but I think we can turn it up a notch.
I think we can turn the flagrancy.
I don't know if we're going to get to peak just yet.
We got to save that a little bit later,
but I think we can turn the flagrancy up just a little bit.
Al, can you roll something for us?
Is that how you pronounce it?
She needs the Tim, I think.
The Tim's River.
The River Tim's.
Yeah, Tim's, I think.
Son.
I like Thames, though.
The Tim's size 13.
Yo, suck that bitch in a size 13 right down the river, bro.
Radcliffe came out and he said, what did he say?
Who gives a fuck, yo?
Nah, he actually was like, I don't want to speak ill of her.
Of course not, bitch.
Made you a millionaire.
That's what I'm saying, yo.
She changed his life.
Let me tell you, if you're Daniel Radcliffe, whatever J.K. Rowling says about trannies.
Hey, I ain't got nothing to say.
That's what you believe about trannies? Hey, I ain't got nothing to say. That's what you believe about trannies.
The second you start speaking, stupefy.
Do you know that?
Do you know that curse?
Do you know what that is?
I mean, y'all want to go curse for curse?
Okay, let's get really good.
Hey, you read the book.
Get in on this.
Hey, y'all want to go curse for,
is it called a curse or what is it called?
Spell.
You don't want to go spell for spell?
Have you read the books
Or are you gay by birth
No
Hey
Hey bro
Y'all want to go
Curse for curse
Hey let's
Let's go
Okay
Ready
This is what we're going to do
We're going to go around
Okay
Alright
And you keep on going
Until you don't have a curse
If you are fucking Googling them curses right now,
both of y'all Googling curses, yo.
Y'all out.
Nah, Alex and Mark both ferociously Googling on their fucking computer.
Ridiculous.
All right.
Now, y'all are the judges now.
Y'all are the judges now.
Y'all out of the fucking game.
No.
Okay, you ready? Let's go. I did mineall the judges now. Y'all out of the fucking game. No.
Okay, you ready?
I did mine.
Stoopify, go.
Expelliarmus.
Get the fuck out of here, yo.
You ready? You ready for me to party?
You ready for me to party, Akash?
Let's go.
Are you ready for me to literally kill Akash?
Evita Kadabra.
Get the fuck out of here, boy.
That's the death spell.
I know that.
What you know about
Expecto Patronum out there?
No!
Oh, shit!
It's over!
No!
Why'd you have to do that, bro?
Shit! Let me keep stalling.
No!
No!
Why'd you have to do that to us?
Alright, hold up.
Hold up now.
Alright.
Hold up.
Alright.
You hit me with a Patronus spell.
That's a tough one right there, dawg.
I'm out, to be honest.
I just need one more to get you out
of the fucking pain, dawg.
Hold on, I got this.
Hold on, I got this. Hold on.
I got this.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Let me think back to all the things that they did.
Do you want a hint?
Yeah.
No, no, no.
I don't give a fucking hint, yo.
What the fuck do you think this is?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, ready?
He goes, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It would be nice.
I do want a hint.
No, I do want a hint.
All right, give me a hint.
Nah, I don't give a fucking hint.
What do you think it is?
How would you make an item fly?
Oh.
Fly armors.
No, I got one.
Ready?
I got one.
Ready?
Ready, bitch?
Ready, bitch?
Let's go.
Lumos.
Like this bitch up. Like this bitch up. ready bitch let's go lumos oh oh fuck
the same hint still goes
How do you make some shit go float in the air
I don't give a fuck
That shit didn't help nobody
Oh fuck
Go
Wingardium Leviosa
That's it
This motherfucker
Pulled that out of nowhere He son. Son, he hit the wrist.
Son.
You hit the fucking wrist.
Son, flick of the wrist.
Flick of the wrist.
Damn, bro.
Son.
I hit that shit, yo.
Hey, it actually helped.
That's literally it, bro.
That's a great hit, yo.
That's a good hit.
Hey, hold up now.
Hold up now.
Your boy still got it.
Your boy still got it, though.
Oh, shit.
Are you playing the music oh shit
i'm getting nostalgic man i'm hype yo all right ready we um okay okay okay i got i got it i got
it i got you i got you i got you y'all ready are you you ready? Yeah. Because this is it right here.
This is the game changer right here.
If you get one, it's over.
No, no.
It's over.
I already know it's over.
Ready?
Fucking JK.
Let's go.
Look, I don't know this bitch spells.
Ready?
All right.
Ready?
You ready for it or no?
You ready?
Yeah.
Okay.
Ready?
Yeah.
Dick off a body.
Now I'm out, bro.
But that means we're even.
He already did it.
He said that one?
Yeah. Oh, I missed out.
Where you been?
I'm not that.
Bro, you forgot this one.
I was in a moment.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I was going to say,
habeas corpus.
I'll give you my next one.
Oh, fuck, dude.
That was good.
That was really good.
But we're even, though.
Whatever, dog.
I won.
No, you didn't.
We said the same amount.
Son, I ended it.
No, you didn't.
I ended it, yo.
No, we ended it even at the same level.
We both got to the same floor.
I won.
We both got to the same floor. No, I got there last. No level we both got to the same floor i won we both got to the same floor no i got no we both got to the same floor it's a stalemate
so i could give you i could give you spells and you have to say what the spell is yo we're done
with this game bro but we have to have a winner though all right boom ready go uh how do you
disarm your opponent expelliarmus i already said that Fuck outta here He didn't know that Pay attention, Mark Yo, real talk
I was searching for the Expelliarmus
You took the heat off of me
That's the one they say the most
Expelliarmus, bro
That's how motherfucking
He got the Elder Wand
You fucking losers
Oh, I'm sorry
Did you think we were done
With just a couple of flagrant moments?
No, we're not
We're not
We got one more
And this shit
Just like everything else you've seen Fire flagrancy Not just one More than one with just a couple of flagrant moments? No, we're not. We're not. We got one more in this shit.
Just like everything else you've seen.
Fire flagrancy.
Not just one.
More than one.
Oh, you right.
You show me some video or you retweet some video
of Matthew Stafford doing math.
He's incredible.
Come on, bro.
I don't think they're ever going to get.
They're still making money.
Matthew Stafford's an idiot too.
They're never going to have the need to be smart.
Why is that not impressive?
What? Why is that not impressive he guessed
have you seen the video i retreated to matthew stafford oh when he did the the guy gives you
two big ass numbers like 6525 by 4100 whatever i think he just does it for that shit he just
figured it out it's called multiplication no no no, no, no. But I mean like.
How you thought people did math before?
I don't think he's just multiplying and intersecting.
Oh, there's a trick.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
There's a shortcut.
Yeah.
Still impressive.
Nah.
Not really.
Still impressive.
If you know a shortcut, it's not that impressive.
It's not as impressive.
Whatever.
I'm tired of these motherfuckers, bro.
I hate the duck.
No, because there is some important shit.
No, he's impressed the fucking football players that do math better than him.
That's what he's impressed.
You don't think that shit impressed me?
You can't do math?
Not like that.
25 times 3.
God, he got that shit quick.
This motherfucker is Asian, bro.
You are fucking Asian.
All right, let me do some more math to you, right?
Yeah.
All right, ready?
76 divided by 4.
19?
I'm still figuring.
No, that's it.
No, that's it.
Yeah, there we go.
Because 80 divided by 4 would be 20.
Take away 4 more.
That's what I did.
That was fucking good all right last
one mad pressure right now you ready pressure it's going down this one's going down right this
is for your indianness okay you're not indian if you get this wrong you're bangladesh all right
for real you're bangladesh if you get this wrong bangladesh you're bangladesh let's go okay ready all right 224 no sorry 244 squared oh fuck yo stupid fucking idiot
fucking retard dude you don't know this already i know this shit this is mad easy dumb fuck 12. Damn, son. Come on, bro.
244.
That's the square root.
Yeah.
And it's the square root of 144.
I know what you would think.
Damn.
I knew what he was thinking.
I was like, please, he's not taking that.
Please, he's not taking that.
It's 144.
I should have corrected you because I knew what you were thinking.
You got it wrong twice.
I knew he was taking 144. I know it you miss square root in 44
You
I called him retarded.
Matt.
I thought you were kidding me.
I was like, this ain't easy, yo.
This is how stupid I am.
I went 224.
No, no, no.
244.
I was like, oh, I got him.
Oh, I got him.
I got this motherfucker.
No way he could come for me on 244 Bro
And then I started thinking in my head
I was like wait it's 12 times 12
I started doing the short math
I was like I don't know if it got that
I don't know if it gets that far
What's 244
What is that one
How the fuck are you going to calculate that far. What's 244? What is that one? How the fuck were you going to calculate
that one?
He was going.
This had to work
and that shit was like
damn.
Squared though.
Yeah.
That's 244 times 244.
Oh, that's easy.
863,000.
42,000.
What was that?
What was that?
Let's go.
Next segment.
Come on, Jay Cutler.
Psoriasis. Psoriasis Psoriasis
P
Okay
You thought you were gonna get me out of here
No that shit's like pterodactyl
How you spell pterodactyl
Pterodactyl
Alright fair enough
Pneumonia
Pneumonia as well I got this All right. Fair enough. Pneumonia. Pneumonia as well, Pete.
I got this.
You can't.
You'll never sign a letter me.
That's facts.
You'll never sign a letter me.
Give me any word.
Go.
Definitely.
Give him homonyms.
A man can't do a homonym.
Say what?
Homonyms.
Bro, because he's homophobic?
Homonym?
Yeah.
You want me to spell that?
No, just if you give him like the same, like there and there, he's always going to misuse that.
I can do that.
I can spell all the there's.
Well, how do you use them?
Does that fart going to smell or not?
I put some stank on it.
It's spelled definitely, bro.
Definitely.
D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y.
Whoa, that's it.
I'm one of the best spellers that's ever existed.
And as an Indian, you should take that as an insult.
I do. So let's go. Battle. Spell off.
Go. Let's go. Give us a word.
Alright. I just spelled definitely. Akash goes
next. Go. Okay, Akash, ready?
Yeah. Your word is
handkerchief. H-A-N-D
K-E-R-C-H-I-E-F.
That's correct.
Suck my fucking dick, bro.
I am is no beat.
Andrew, Andrew.
All right, go.
Your word is ingenious.
Ingenious.
I-N.
Genius.
G-E-N-I-O-U-S.
Fuck.
Ingenious.
Oh, there's no O?
There's no O.
Yes. I wouldn't't got that right either
now i gotta get one go akash yeah your word to spell is diarrhea oh fuck you're done you're done
d i a r r h e Suck my fucking dick. That's correct. Suck my fucking dick, yo. Suck my fucking dick.
We out here, dawg.
It's the start of this bitch.
It's the rap, yo.
It's a whole word.
No, I can't be.
I got one.
I can't even spell the fucking words from my language.
Go.
All right.
You wouldn't have got diarrhea either.
No, I would have got that one.
I was in here, yo.
That was a good one.
That was easy, though.
Al, you won.
Everybody can do diarrhea.
Go.
Meniscus.
Language of origin?
Ask for language of origin, bro. I'm telling you. God, the language of origin. for language of origin bro I'm telling you
this might be like latinist or shit like that probably
I'm looking to the fucking smart guy
say it again
say it in a sentence
I tore my meniscus
say it again
your word is meniscus. Say it again. Your word is meniscus.
That's a sentence.
P.
M.
M-I.
Wrong.
Is it M-E?
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Akash with the steel?
Okay.
Language of origin?
French. Okay. Well, you already got it cuz I say me and I s C us
Alright go soon as you said I know I said he was wrong go. All right
Wait, who's this? Is this our car? I just got me. So is this yours? Yeah, all right
Pharaoh
Put your phone down, son. Pharaoh.
That's a tough one.
P-H-A-R-A-O-H.
That's correct.
Wow.
That was impressive.
I'd have fucked that up.
Back like he never left.
I'd have fucked that up, yo.
I think we're tied right now.
Tied?
You fucked up my face.
We are tied.
Now we are tied.
Get the fuck out of here.
We are tied.
Because I spelled a couple before.
Al Gore has count.
You got it.
Let's go.
Hindi song. Oh oh say can you see
let's go
stars and bars
bitch
alright
akash
yo I don't like this
I'm winning
fuck outta here
spell dilate
ooooh
dilate
d-i-l-a-t-e
ding ding ding
suck my dick everyone
they got natural
talent at this shit bro
I'm just thinking of all the words I spell wrong
hey
out here
do y'all write the answers on your hands that's why you dance like this
both sides though
both sides that's why we twist
that's why we gotta twist That's why we get a twist.
Don't be cheating, bro.
All right, all right.
Go.
Give me a word.
Bro, you still want it?
Give me the word, bro.
I got this shit.
All right.
Go.
Intelligence.
Oh, fuck out of here, yo.
I-N-T-E-L-L-I-G-E-N-C-E.
Yeah.
Intelligence. That. Intelligence.
That's correct.
Got him!
Got him!
Yeah, just like the retard.
That's how you spell it.
Go, go, go.
Go, Al.
This shit is nerve-wracking.
This shit is nerve-wracking.
Go, Al.
Don't be soft on him, bro.
Dilate wasn't easy.
You'd have fucked up dilate.
Honestly, dilate was very impressive. You'd have fucked up dilate honestly dilate was very impressive
i spelled that shit two words d-i-e this word gobbledygook gobbledygook that's a real word
that's a real word that's a white people word say say spell it again say gobbledygook gobbledygook
first of all there's a racial slur in the back half of that i don't even want to say it
that's why i had to go to the fucking computer. All right, say gobbledy Chinese.
Gobbledy Korean.
Spell gobbledy Korean then.
All right, go, Zach.
All right, G-O-B-B-E, G-O-B-B.
Uh-huh.
Gobbledy.
L-E?
D-Y?
D-I? D-E-D-Y-D-I-D-E.
You know which letter you fucked up?
The B.
No, no, no, no.
Give him another bullshit ass word.
Give me one more word for me to win. I got to steal. I got to steal. Son, fuck out of here. no, no. Give him another bullshit-ass word. Give me one more word for me to win.
I got to steal.
I got to steal.
Son, fuck out of here.
Go, go.
No, no.
I just spelled it with the B.
Go.
Give me one more word.
Give me one more word.
Go, go.
I'll try to body-hack. I should dispel it.
Give me one more word.
God damn.
All right.
If you really want to make this infuriating for me,
give him aunt or some shit like that.
Go, go.
Give him a word.
Nausea. Nausea. infuriating for me give him aunt or some shit like that go give him a good give me uh nausea
nausea it's only six letters i don't do that yo what the fuck you doing yo i was trying to
taunt him stupid actually that's helpful that's incredibly helpful yo fuck unless i would that
was a unless i was trying to trick you have you considered that
so mad right now possibly i'm trying n-a-u-s
s
oh wait a minute n N-A-U-S 1-S
E-A.
God damn it.
That's correct.
That was really tight.
I'm so upset, yo.
That was really tight.
If you didn't give him six letters, he'd have fucked that up.
That's a good ass point, bro.
He'd have fucked that up.
I'll let him give you one more.
That was fully tied.
That was really fully tied.
You got one chance.
Okay.
All right, Al, you got one?
No, you get something.
Water.
This man is nervous right now.
Okay.
Okay.
I mean, if we really want to go for it, mean there's there's some hard ones go for it with drew
if you go for me all right i think this one will be as difficult as the other one so that way we'll
keep it even okay the word is nigger for the record i didn't say it at the end how many letters
i didn't say it okay i did not say that word even though Al
tried to match my voice
ruined my whole career
before I ever started
jeez Al
Patriot bruh
you already gave me
a racist term
Al
okay I'm trying to find
like a
like
something that's a little wild
I'm upset about that
six letters
oh here we go
it's fucking infuriating
daiquiri I don't even drink come on d a you got daiquiri d a i q u i r i i'm serious y'all y'all
need to suck my dick all of y'all so i think it's like in the blood real hot don't hate on my jeans
son it's really impressive like jeans it's like watching a black guy Real talk, bro. Don't hate on my jeans, son. It's really impressive.
I got the strongest jeans.
It's like watching a black guy run fast and I'm like, yeah, obviously he runs fast.
Yes, they're jumping.
Holy shit. But when you see him do it, you go, oh my God.
You knew there was an eye in the first part of daiquiri?
I don't even drink, bro.
But you've ordered a lot of virgin daiquiris, though, be honest.
Never off a menu.
I'd be going off menu for that shit because it's so gay it's not even on there.
Facts.
Maybe try to get me a margarita like I don't know.
Last one.
Go.
Give me one.
If I get this, I win.
All right.
Then we got to really get a good one.
Al, look with me.
Are you going through something?
Yeah.
I'm looking for something.
All right.
Hit me.
Go.
Go, son.
Go.
Okay.
Go.
Come on, yo.
Let's go. I got to piss. I mean, also, I don't think you. Go, go, son. Go. Okay. Go. Come on, y'all. Let's go.
I got to piss.
I mean, also, I don't think you win if you get this right.
All right, go.
Go.
I win if I get it.
This is to retain the-
Nah.
Can somebody on Patreon keep the actual score?
I got it.
I got it.
You got it.
I spell harder words.
I get more.
Spell sacrilegious.
Sac.
Sacrilegious.
Sacrilegious.
Sacrilegious. How many words is it what is one word
there's one word at this all right one word all right use it in a sentence
son nah spell the fucking words all right sacrilegious
sacrilegious sacrilegious s- S-A-C-R-I.
R-E-L.
Damn, I didn't get the spit.
Fuck.
So, Akash, are you going to come up with the status?
What did I do? so I got you he was so disgusted by how bad your spelling was
he couldn't even
I do
I spelled
the word was sacrilegious
the word was sacrilegious
come on come on C-R-E-R The word was sacramental. Come on.
Come on.
S-A-C-R-E-R.
Second R.
You put Riri in the word.
Chinese sounding motherfucker.
How you replacing L's with R's.
What'd I do?
S-A-C-R-E-R.
Oh, it's only one.
I did sacramental.
So, y'all, you have to steal for the win.
This is for the win
Alright let me see if I can get this
Holy fuck
Alright go
Fucking happy
That's hilarious
S-A-C-R-I-L-I-G-O-U-S
Fuck
Stupid
Wow son
I guess
Alex just wins by default
What is it?
Like just give it to me.
That's it.
All right, let's wrap it up.
It was S-A-C-R-I-L-E-G-I-O-S.
I wouldn't know.
I almost had to blow up this fucking matcha store.
Did I tell you guys about that?
Oh, yeah.
What ended up happening with that?
Because the guy was rude to my girl.
Rude to my girl.
She was waiting outside for social distancing when two other bitches was getting their matcha
and then
the guy tried to close
the fucking place
and he's like
she's like
I've been waiting outside
from before four
so the guy was like
ugh
fine
come in
rolled his eyes
came in
made the matcha
she said
made a hell of shitty
so I had to go
the next day
can I be honest
this is the whitest story
I've ever heard
on every level
oh my god
matcha the guy rolled his eyes at the girl yeah and then she was Can I be honest? This is the whitest story I've ever heard on every level.
Matcha, the guy rolled his eyes at the girl.
Yeah.
And then she was respecting social distancing in every way.
This is the whitest story I've ever heard. I went the next day and I had a fucking conversation with that guy.
Rolling eyes is a white hate crime.
That is.
Real talk.
Don't roll your eyes, dog.
A dude rolling his eyes at a girl that he just met is like, come on, bro.
And then he goes to the place the next day.
I don't want to speak to your manager. i spoke to him so what you said this is the
whitest story ever i went with her i said wait outside i'm gonna go talk to this motherfucker
i went i spoke to him and i said yo yo it's my girl's birthday just go out there and just wave
right just wave like that Wave like that
So he waves at my girl
I go yo thank you
I appreciate it
I buy the matcha
And I was like
Yup
Did he learn a lesson
And she goes
She goes
I mean he waved at me
I was like yeah
I told him to apologize
And I was like
You gotta look at that girl
And be nice no matter what
So that's what happens
Sometimes you gotta teach a lesson
She gotta know who the fucking You know The king of the kingdom is oh you let him know son i'm out here uh what
really happened nothing we went back i was a bitch we went back we got there i was like i
went outside with the electric bike man i can't let this electric bike you didn't even call it a motorcycle
it's a my it's a bike bro it's an electric bike bro come on drew what's happening i've literally
thought about i'm like what am i supposed to do i'm supposed to knock this guy out for being
completely reasonable my girl showed up at four
But I can't tell my girl she's wrong is quarantine
I'm in this fucking conflict. I'm biking hella slow trying to put all the pieces together. We get to the goddamn spot
I would not tip him But then that guy's
Gonna make fun of me
For trying to
Punish motherfuckers
Doing the shit
I shouldn't do already
Yo
Tipping the fucking
Barista infuriates me
I gotta tip you
Before you do your job
Huh
What kind of shit is that
Every
The whole tip system
Is you do your job
And then I like the service
So I tip you
Oh you got him
Started on tips
I know
You're about to be
10 minutes He's about to be 10 minutes.
He's about to go to that botched dude
and fight him for you.
This motherfucker, yo.
Don't roll your eyes, yo.
Hey, hey,
let's you and me go talk to this guy.
Who you rolling your eyes at, yo?
Son, usually.
That's the unnecessary part.
Can I be honest with you, though?
That's where you got to find
when the girl.
Can I be honest with you, bro?
In that situation,
you got gotta find anything
be like hey man i get it but like you don't have to roll your eyes like that i don't know that i
don't know how to do that oh because if someone's rude to your girl at a certain point you can be
like i kind of get it you know like oh there's never a point where i don't get it there's never
a point i don't rudeness i completely understand oh man physical shit that's different
yeah but the guy is at work getting corona every day he's about to close up the shop and then he
sees another person outside that's worth the eye roll nah but that's not worth the eye roll
in your girl defense i'm bugging you're bugging
you just gotta like no no Macho for your shorty
Let me tell you something
For those listening Andrew just broke the mic's head.
I lost sleep over this, bro.
Are you trying to prove how tough you are now, dude?
This is what I almost did to the Macho Man.
Yeah, Macho Man.
Macho Man Randy Savage.
Macho Man Randy Savage.
I literally walked in there like,
Woo!
It's the Diamond Wing Barrel.
Champagne drinking.
Social distancing.
Social distancing.
Fuck.
Son.
Hold up.
What was it?
Oh, yeah.
What did he used to say all the time?
Cream of the crime.
Yeah, let that be a warning He told us
He was gonna have
This confrontation
Last week
Were you here
He was like
I'm about to go
Beat up the macho man
I just
I have to do it
He's rude to my girl
Can I tell you
What really happened son
I went in there
I'm gonna tell you
What really happened
I don't give a fuck
I don't give a fuck
I'm gonna tell you
What really happened I don't care if y'all judge me This a fuck. No, no, no. I'm going to tell you what really happened.
I don't care if y'all judge me.
This is what happened.
You was like Macho Man.
All right, yeah, let's go.
You want to know?
This is what happened.
I said, babe, hold the bike outside.
She holds the bike outside.
I go in there, right?
I go, yo, let me get two.
And I forgot what my fucking girl wanted.
So I had to come back.
I go, babe, what you want?
And then she goes,
I would like a fucking
macadamia nut,
a matcha,
whatever.
I'm already deflated
saying macadamia nut milk,
right?
I'm already deflated
to saying that.
Let me get a macadamia nut
matcha latte.
Let me get two of them shits,
right?
He goes to do it
and I'm waiting to have
the confrontation
when he comes back,
right?
And no bullshit,
they just started selling
these like Thai vanilla peanut butter so these shits look so delicious right but they're behind the
counter okay oh you gotta ask him for one so i can't curse the motherfucker out and then get my Thai vanilla peanut butter cups, right? So.
You're so selfish.
You don't defend your girl's honor for some fucking peanut butter cups. I said it.
My girl can't hear nothing.
She's outside.
Thai vanilla.
So I go like this.
So I go like this.
I go.
I give her the nod.
Like it's about to go down.
I'm like, yo, I gotta talk to you.
Them Thai vanilla peanut butter cups. I give her the nod Like it's about to go down I'm like yo I gotta talk to you I'm tired
I'm gonna eat a peanut butter cup
So I'm trying
You know
So I'm trying
To like position myself
So my girl
Can't
Move the hands
A lot
I'm gonna eat
Two of them
Top of the hill
Peanut butter cups
And then you know
You go outside
He felt bad
He threw in some
Top of the hill
Peanut butter cups
And you shake his hand At the end To make it look like you really had the, I mean, you
really patched things up.
I go out there like, babe, you can go here anytime you want now.
It's like going there at 4.01.
What if she rude to him?
What if he rude to her again?
Nah, nah, nah.
We got it for you.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break from this best of episode so I can tell you about keeps from
the hyenas den.
You'll see why in a few days.
But if you guys are starting to
lose your hair, you don't need to. Let me tell you something. I'm actually a little bit upset
about keeps because God really only gave me two genetic gifts. I'm 5'7". I'm built mad sloppy.
I'm slow, unathletic. But he gave me green eyes and hair, a full head of beautiful hair that I
wasn't losing. And that was going to be the only solace that I had with my low testosterone levels while all my friends with muscles were going bald.
Unfortunately, Keeps has made it preventable.
You don't need to go bald.
If you are starting to lose your hair, you just go to Keeps.com.
They offer generic versions of the only two FDA-approved medications to prevent hair loss.
So if you're starting to lose your hair, know that that is a choice you are making.
You don't have to.
All you got to do is go to keeps.com slash flagrant, and you get your first month's treatment for free.
So they're making it even easier for you to not lose your hair.
I do not like the fact that they are doing this, but I'm going to help you guys out because I care about you, the fans. Go to keeps.com slash flagrant, and you will get one month free.
Guys, this is really simple.
If you are going bald, if you're starting to lose your hair at all,
and you don't do this, you're an idiot.
Andrew Schultz, co-host of mine, started to lose his hair about 10 years ago,
just a little bit even.
Got on these medications, and now he's good.
Full head of
beautiful hair so guys keeps.com slash flagrant let's get back to the show but it's not a problem
if we do white face though that's i love being black for that wait you can't wait a minute
taylor look how happy the idea as chris rocked. Taylor, you don't see the hypocrisy, Taylor?
Oh, so you can do whiteface.
This man can't dress up as Mr. T.
He can't be in the 18th, Taylor.
His name is already Andrew.
Oh, my God, Andrew.
I like that.
Hey, hey, what you talking about, Taylor?
Ah, shit, that's Gary Coleman.
I done got my black people confused.
Oh, my God.
Oh, shit, oh, shit.
You really sound like a black dude
because I can't understand you.
You know, when people go to the cemetery
and they leave their little flowers and shit,
it's touching to see.
But like if you're in heaven, right?
Yeah.
And you're looking down.
Do you think you feel different
when they go to the cemetery
and they go to your stone
or if they're in the living room
like right before they watch the game,
they're like, yo, I miss you.
No, I think you feel different. Because they're going out their way like right before they watch the game they're like yo I miss you nah I think he feels different cause they're going out
their way to do it
and shit like that
y'all some ladies
with this effort shit
why everything about effort
like why is
why is the effort
doesn't matter
when I go to work
why is that not effort
women are always right
what is this
I want you to write a card
what are you talking about
write a card
but there's effort
yo why
why women can't why is it somebody's fighting
i think it was some dreams that happened i didn't talk about this i didn't talk about
we didn't talk about the effort i just appreciate if you went through the effort of dreaming of me
shitting on you ladies hey lizzie i just want to make sure that when i'm talking about ladies i'm not talking about white women y'all never wrong but everybody else
everybody else we believe you white women don't worry about but everybody else ladies listen so
explain to me the effort shit right because like for some reason
effort that like going to work is not effort but like when you write a card they're like i just
like the effort or like oh you went and got this specific thing or you made me a collage or like
you went and found like my favorite pop tart like there's all these things right and i'm starting to
believe it's not effort it's just inconvenience it's like that's what you equate love is like is it bothersome yeah is that love being bothersome i play devil's advocate and i mean devils
go if your girl orders food for you or cooks food for you yeah which one means more the exact
same real talk whichever one tastes better the exact same wow the exact matter of fact
i'm gonna get fucked up for even saying it
you want me to say it no no no let me not say this exact same dog. If I'm being completely honest, I really, I love the fact that she cooks.
Because my girl cooks all the time.
Yeah.
I love the fact that she cooks.
It's great.
The food is there, et cetera.
It's amazing.
Sometimes she orders in.
And she'll order in and she'll take it off the plate or take it out of the box and put it on the plate Ms. Doubtfire style.
Yep.
That shit is lit.
What if you're eating out the box do you care
honestly i'm okay you know what it is it's like a struggle in america it's that same 100 meter dash
if she cooks at home usain bolt you know if she orders in tim montgomery
it's close i know tim montgomery is just another right this is another thing no I like it when she cooks, but if she was like,
I'd rather just order it, I'm totally cool with that.
I just like the fact that she put...
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, shit.
I just like the fact
that she puts...
What? Son. I just like the fact that she puts what?
Son, the devil ain't always wrong.
You know what I mean?
And what do we say?
Believe all women.
Damn right, man.
Oh, shit.
Fuck, dude.
You got to believe them, bro.
When they say it's the effort.
No, it's not the effort.
You got to believe them, bro.
Oh, God.
I almost said the thought
oh wow
that's even more gay
shit
that's a thought
that counts
yo
yo
I think I
I think I get it now yo
cause if my girl
made the dinner or she bought a super expensive dinner,
it's really the fact that there was dinner there when I got home.
Yeah.
It's not that she paid for it.
Right?
Right.
That makes sense.
Right.
And they would love a really nice card or like a thoughtful date where like
you pay attention to a story she told you one time and then like there was that there, you know.
And then so I see, okay, I'm starting to understand a little bit now.
36.
I know.
That's just a shame.
I know.
I ain't going to do it.
You're a real nigga.
That's why.
No, I ain't going to do it. I ain I ain't gonna do it My dad didn't do it
Put in effort
My dad would
He was so thorough in his convictions bro
I don't think he got my mom flowers
On Mother's Day one time
Wow
Wow
No really that just wasn't his thing Like i think that just wasn't his thing yeah but not that he didn't
care but he was just like what's that about like i love you every single day like like
whatever you talk about your mom she also seems very practical as well so she doesn't seem like
she cares about that you're shorty on that man I think you got to get some flowers on Mother's Day, B, even if she's not a mother.
Yeah.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
Now I'm fucking thinking about it.
Now I kind of understand it a little bit, huh?
Do you care about that shit?
I really think about it with just food.
With food, that shit makes sense, bro.
Yeah.
Like, if you cook for me, as opposed to getting me McDonald's.
So, Mark told us the most fascinating thing before we started recording.
His girl, throughout the entire year, takes notes on people when they're just talking about shit.
And, like, if they mention something that they want.
takes notes on people when they're just talking about shit and like if they mention something that they want so then anytime their birthday or holiday comes around she can go to her notes
and get all the thoughtful things that that person actually wanted and she has notes about
his family members so mark didn't even know what to get his own family she goes to her notes in
her phone so mark looks like the thoughtful guy who got fucking incredible that's incredible son that's effort i mean that's yeah that's gonna make for some great presents
then he gets credit for it i guess what i'm trying to say is
i think effort at work should also be calculated into the equation i do like the way i see you
trying to fight yeah being a better boyfriend i appreciate that but do you understand what i'm
saying like effort is effort like 100% y'all women have a lot more effort to give because they're not
working as much yeah and i've been thinking that all the time like you want gifts how about i work
and you buy your own shit how about that that's not a gift how we just let that slide what'd he
say yeah what'd he say i kind of heard a lot of. I'm still trying to make... No, I made actually...
He said...
If we're going off Andrew's point where there's like a total...
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
Why don't you dare fucking do that?
You said what you said.
If there's a total amount of effort that exists...
Shut up.
Say it exactly how you said it.
Say it exactly how you said it.
That's not a math shit.
Bro, I feel uncomfortable on the inside, bro.
I think I just like... I don't feel right, bro.
I feel like I just found out I'm a tranny or some shit.
God damn, that shit feels real weird inside, man.
Bro, I literally said, I literally had to stop myself before I said effort
and then tried to correct it and then stop myself before i said
put some thought dude this is harsh man son if i get i'm so gay if i get gifts i literally tell her
i it's a thought that counts dog y'all seen the six cents yeah this shit this is what it feels
like i see women you know what i mean like when you feel fuck dog i see him dog i really see his feelings i see him dog i get it
i know it's horrifying right it's horrifying bro also you know a problem with our career is that
we have too much fun for it to be work they don't think it's work you gotta train them to know it's
work wait what do man you got to you gotta really you gotta really make them understand and my homie
said this shasta oni
perez with his girl they broke up so maybe it was a bad idea but literally every time she'd be like
oh are you gonna go out for shows he'd be like no i'm gonna go out for work and every time it
became oh okay he's going out for work you gotta understand just as we enjoy our job doesn't mean
we don't work hard at it doesn't mean it's not hard doesn't mean we don't put everything into it
not a shit, man. Easy, bro.
Bro, this is so fun.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Your job sucks.
And our job's stupid.
We can have fun and dance all day if we want.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Hey, guess who's another white helmet
cut that shit
cut that whole shit
it could be bad edits
it's gonna be another
designer bag
sitting on the side
of the room
couple weeks
oh shit
nah bro
we had a great
fucking system where we just buy the shit and that was worth it
yep because the effort we put in but i think back in the day our jobs used to suck
yeah we're gonna factory work in a factory go to war you know what i'm saying that was effort
not sit in a fucking lounge chair and talk about white bitches complaining. What'd you do at work today, babe?
What was your tough...
How much...
You know what's crazier?
What do you do at work?
So much of my job
is just complaining about her.
What'd you do at work today?
We smoked some maybe weed.
We might have smoked
some maybe it was weed,
maybe it wasn't.
That's what we did at work today oh man jealous you jealous uh no but that just work that's why
we can't be as good a boyfriend is that it how am i busy yo what busy you traveled before oh my god you traveled before uh corona every weekend
every weekend every weekend i was on the road bro i had to go to fucking hawaii hang out in the beach
that was crazy out there bro bring her back a souvenir dog i even had to go on stage for a
whole hour and be showered with love dog how the fuck could I do that, bro?
Hey, real talk,
it's hard to be a good boyfriend
when you get showered
with love everywhere else.
Yo, facts.
I mean, like, I'm full.
Yo, we be lying to our girls
about the effort, man.
And the work.
I really do say that shit
to my girl out there.
I'm working 60 hours a week.
I'm mostly eating granola bars.
I'm mostly eating granola bars
in that room, right? Like, that's more, the majority of those 60 hours is granola bars. I'm mostly eating granola bars in that room.
Right?
Like that's the majority of those 60 hours is granola bars, bro.
Oh, bro.
Nah, man.
Do you ever pretend to be exhausted?
Nah, we anesthesiologists out here.
Say what?
We like anesthesiologists.
What does that mean?
Somebody said, back when I was going to pretend I was going to be a doctor,
talking about anesthesia, it's five minutes of sheer.
Everybody said it's the easiest job.
He's like, it's five minutes of extreme pressure and and terror and the rest of the time you're chilling every surgery
though those five minutes you could kill somebody right it's mad high stakes our job we are you're
saying it's we yeah we're like that but clowns you had high stakes short periods of time a lot
of pressure right but also we're like that with no stakes yeah like no pressure yeah yeah so we're like that with no stakes yeah like no pressure yeah so we're just not like we're like
toll booth operators son that's really what we are we're just sitting here all day
no we're nothing like them we got better hours we're getting hot we're percolating you can feel
it right you can feel where we're going you can feel the rhythm in your blood you feel it in your
blood exactly but i'm not gonna waste too much time with you right now.
Let's get to that next clip.
You guys remember this one.
And if you don't, oh, well, you're well.
Yeah, with Lizzo, right?
Don't do that.
Lizzo is beautiful.
Don't do that.
Why are you forced to say that shit?
She is.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
Beyonce's beautiful.
You mean like on the inside?
Lizzo's not beautiful.
Lizzo is.
You mean like on the inside?
Don't do that.
No. She's not ugly, but not objectively beautiful. You mean like on the inside? Lizzo is. You mean like on the inside? Don't do that. No.
She's not ugly, but not objectively beautiful.
Like if we're going to say objectively beautiful.
You're talking about the size.
I'm not talking about personality.
I'm literally talking about like, what is it?
The word I'm looking for when you can divide something evenly.
Symmetry.
Symmetry.
Yeah.
Symmetry.
Attractive.
In terms of symmetry of face.
Like they say, for example, denzel washington the reason why
he was looked at is so beautiful is because he has perfect symmetry in his face you can cut his
face in half and both are exactly i believe it okay i believe you cut lizzo's face in half there's
gonna be an apple split as well no i'm not i'm not doing this nope i love this that shit gonna look like a luau there's gonna be some hungry hungry hawaiians around that shit
no we're not doing that we're not okay it just took me a second to get it i'd be slow on the
jokes sometimes that was good i don't know how we got here no there's people that out here that
god just be making anybody yes yes obviously yes. Obviously, that does happen.
But I do think it's unfair
that we have to only judge Lizzo
based on her beauty.
Why can't we judge her based on her talent?
Why can't we judge her based on her personality?
She has amazing talent too.
Honestly, she's like the Beyonce of big girls.
To her performance wise.
Yeah.
No, and again, I'm not questioning that.
I'm not questioning it.
But what I'm saying is she doesn't also have to be beautiful.
We do this weird thing.
Nah, I believe that.
But we do this weird thing with women, right?
Where we go like, when they're good at anything.
That was back in the game.
When they're good at anything, we go, and they're also beautiful.
Because women aren't allowed to just be good at shit.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Why can't women just be good at shit?
Put on those glasses, got mad woke.
Oh, shit.
You looking like a king, king. Oh, shit. You're looking like a king, King.
Oh, shit.
Thanks, King.
I appreciate you, King.
I appreciate you.
You know what I mean?
Y'all ain't there yet.
So do you think Lizzo sells less?
All right, Taylor.
So do you think Lizzo sells less tickets at her concert?
Because total size?
Well, they just got to buy multiple.
Like you talk about they like take up more seats. They got to buy more. They got to buy two seats like on an airplane, I assume. Yeah. How does that work? Well, they just got to buy multiple seats. Like you talk about they like take up more seats.
They got to buy two seats like on an airplane.
Yeah, how does that work?
Wait, what?
Her fans?
Yeah.
Why do you think her fans are big?
You just said this.
Wait a minute.
Are you talking about the things that cool her down or the people that are?
I hate you.
Oh, my God.
Because
the people that are in the
stadium.
Why do you think they have to be big too?
I don't know anything about Lizzo's fans.
They don't have to be big though.
When Jeremy Lin was killing it with the Knicks, there was a lot of Asians in the crowd.
That's all I gotta say.
I don't know anything about Lizzo's fans, but you just said she was the
Beyonce of big girls.
Lizzo fans have a lot of LGBTQ.
So does Beyonce.
Okay.
Is that a sandwich that she likes to order?
Shut up!
I hate you.
Oh, my God.
She'd be in the deli like Can I get an LGBT
Can I get an LGBT
Alright please
I'm not laughing at this
I just
I just took a DNA test
Turns out
I need to lower my cholesterol
I'm not laughing at this at all.
Oh my god.
Come on, Taylor.
Come on.
Because Lizzo's my girl.
Like, I love Lizzo.
Her music does make you feel like a bad bitch, though.
It's not.
I'm feeling sassy as fuck.
I love Lizzo.
I love Lizzo, too.
You can love people that aren't all right looking.
Yeah.
There's more to love, yo.
So why do you call her, why do you not think she's beautiful?
I think she's all right.
Why can't I be objective about that?
But what's all right though about her
because of her size or like?
Yeah.
That's it.
And her face is all right.
Yeah.
Butt is all right.
Actually, no, I'm not even into the butt.
She don't got much butt.
It's unfortunate that women
can't just be talented.
That's what I feel.
They can.
The feminist that is me,
that women can't just be,
yo, why can't Taylor,
why can't you just be great at your job?
Why you got to be beautiful
and great at your job?
Nobody goes to me,
yo, Andrew, you're beautiful
and you're great at your job.
I just happen to be that.
First of all, Andrew,
people be calling you sexy
and everything else like that too.
Shit, keep going, girl.
Shit, keep going, girl.
You don't need these bifocals to know that.
Let's go.
Lizzo.
You think that she was trying to say let's go, but then ate the tea.
God damn.
We're not talking about Lizzo.
We're talking about my girl, no more.
It's jokes, though.
Come on, Al.
Are we off, Al, or what? No, we good. We right on point. That's it. We're not talking about Lizzo. We're not talking about my girl no more. Yo, it's jokes, though. Come on, Al. Are we off, Al, or what?
Nah, we good.
We right on point.
That's it.
We're good.
Yo, I literally don't think there's anything wrong with Lizzo.
I just hate it.
It's fantastic as a musician.
If everyone was fat in the world, would y'all still be saying something about her?
Yo, here's a good example.
Go, Al, go.
Make some sense of it.
I don't understand.
Adele is an attractive fat.
Okay.
Lizzo's not.
Like, she's not super ugly, but she's just not in a-
Let the comment section go wild.
Oh, Al Woods, not the fat white girl.
Okay, no, I'll give you another one.
Jill Scott is an attractive fat.
Now we talking, bro.
Lizzo is not.
Why?
Why are you saying that she's not attractive?
Hold on, hold on, Taylor.
You're saying Lizzo is as attractive as Jill Scott?
Yes
You lying
But you're only saying that because she shakes her ass and everything else
And y'all don't want to see that
I don't think Ruben Stoddard is sexy
Who's a sexy fat guy?
I don't know
Patrice wasn't sexy to me
Yeah, but there's probably a good looking fat guy.
The guy from Day 26, he was mad fine.
Y'all not gonna know.
Yeah, we're not gonna know that.
Point is, you can be beautiful and fat.
We're just saying, objectively speaking, Lizzo is not that beautiful.
That doesn't take away from how talented she is.
Yeah, but I think it also comes from the person that's judging him too.
Like, fat isn't your type. It could be type for someone else. I think it also comes from a person that's judging him, too. Like, that isn't your type.
It could be type for someone else.
I think it's type two.
I think that's what type it is.
I think that's what we need to be concerned about.
This is a health issue.
Okay?
Let's be honest.
What's more swollen, Lizzo or Alex's foot?
I'm picking, well, wait, swollen swollen Lizzo or Alex's foot I'm picking
well wait
swollen
I'm picking Alex's foot
wow
you're wise
that's wild
and I hate the fact
like I hate that these
conversations come to this shit
because it's like
don't you as a woman
want to be able to
just be talented
and that's enough
no
I hate it
we want to be beautiful
and talented
I know but it sucks
that y'all want to be that
like guys we don't feel that pressure.
Like, if a guy is just talented, we're like, that's lit.
That's enough.
That's great.
But if a girl is talented and ugly, she's still tight.
She's still putting on tons of makeup, doing all this other shit, while dudes aren't doing
nothing because they're like, oh, you respect me for what I do?
Great.
It's society.
I don't know what to say.
Fuck that part of society.
Let these ugly bitches be talented.
Yeah. That's all we're saying. 100%. But know what to do. Fuck that part of society. Let these ugly bitches be talented. Yeah.
That's all we saying.
100%.
But those not ugly.
Say what?
She's not ugly.
We're not saying she's ugly.
She's all right.
She's fine.
All right.
What do you give her on an earthquake scale?
It's on fire.
This is about as flagrant as they're going to get.
Is it?
I don't know.
Let's watch the next clip.
Out here defending pedophiles and shit
not pedophiles not pedophiles that's a crazy word to put on anybody yeah yeah that's a crazy word
but uh not not pedophiles my motherfucker my fucking cutting it close do you know what i mean
like you know them races where like that the the the hundred meter dash some shit where the guy
leans like guy leans?
He leans his chest forward so he can cross the finish line first. That's a photo finish.
That's D'Elia at your 18th birthday.
That's what he has girls do in pictures so they can pretend they got titties.
Lean your chest forward.
Make it look like you're two years older than you are.
The second a bitch takes a breath for her 18th birthday candles,
the second he hears it just go, he's right in there.
Like, hey, what are you doing?
Make a wish.
No, no, no, I'm right here.
Don't worry about it.
Hey, what's up, everybody?
Yo, don't even joke.
He comes in like Kramer on their 18th birthday.
Say what? He comes in like Kramer on their 18th birthday. He comes in like Kramer on their 18th birthday.
Yo, someone's like, someone's got to make that edit.
D'Lea coming into a girl's 18th birthday like Kramer.
Oh my God, yo.
Oh my God, yeah.
Your birthday's making me thirsty.
Oh, my God.
Your birthday is making me thirsty.
Oh, my God.
No, but in all seriousness, like, obviously, more information came out.
Like we were saying on the last podcast, Dillia came out with some receipts.
Yeah.
Came out with them receipts.
Yeah.
And, you know, called out a bunch of the people that were accusing him. look as far as i can tell from it maybe there's more information that comes out
uh this is what i would say i say probably not probably he likes banging younger chicks
that are legal barely legal what do you say it again what did robbie say mark
you know shout out to robbie man. Robbie Slovic. Robbie Slovic.
So funny.
We're going to have him on the show.
He works on the rants with me and Mark.
And so he said this.
He goes, if 18 is barely legal, then 17 is just barely illegal.
That's so good.
That's so good.
That's so good.
TikTok.
TikTok.
TikTok.
So, yeah. So it looks like he likes younger girls but legally younger girls you think that's why he got on vine what because he got big on vine 10 years
ago you think he was just like yo where the young bitches at yo that's wild i don't i hope not i
hope not i really hope what mark so but look uh yeah and then it seemed that through all the text message correspondence
like he kind of like showed some screenshots of shorties right and uh the girls that were
accusing him and showed things that they left out of the conversation you know like that one girl
who started the whole thing apparently like he deaded the conversation when he found out how old
she was and then she hit him back a few years later and was like yo i'm 21 now i'm down to fuck yeah he still didn't respond right yeah yeah still
didn't respond and then um and it has a kid actually like a month later and then shorty goes
crazy yeah so whatever there's a few different ones that being said there's still a couple ones
that are like a little iffy it's a lot of smoke it's a lot of smoke and it's real close to 18 yeah so we're not going he's a great guy it's weird to like wait on birthdays
but i don't like putting the pedophile word on people unless it's a hundred percent pedophile
you know what i mean if he is a pedophile he's disciplined it's like diabetics yeah you know what i mean like i can't have sugar you know what i mean so so it's like diabetics yeah you know what i mean like i
can't have sugar you know what i mean so so it's like where's the stevia
what's the closest thing you know he's just intermittent fasting
as soon as the clock is three o'clock 18 year internet give me a baby carrot
real talk so uh illegal though but it's that's the important distinction it's not illegal
and so far from what we've seen so far yeah it does appear he likes it right when it's ready
he just wants he wants it to be legal but he don't want it to be you know i mean ideally it's not but
he's the type of person like if the food's a little cold they're like yo can you heat this up but it is uh i don't know it is it is interesting
though you know what i mean what are you thinking what are you thinking i'm wondering what else he
said to you did he acknowledge like he didn't really say much to me i'm besides just me because
i said this i was like yo i just need
to know i need clarity on these things right here because these are the things that look
fucked up yeah like i the word i don't care is it right but like i'm not as concerned
if like you had sex with a 20 year old and then ghosted her yeah like you're an adult grow up
yeah you know i'm saying as long as everything was consensual, that's between you guys.
You figure it out.
If you think he's a douche, then you don't like him anymore.
That's fine.
Yeah.
The younger underage shit is a little bit foul.
Yeah.
But it looked like every time it was said that that person was underage, so far, he
deaded it.
So, yeah.
If you're underage and you legit any legit got a case you gotta come forward
now because if you don't he gonna slide yeah yeah and also i don't think there's any allegations
that he actually had sex with anyone underage that's another thing so there's no not that i've
seen maybe there are i haven't seen them yeah there was one thing that we were looking at today
which was tricky about the girl who was 17 yeah right and like whatever he says oh whatever he says what that's too young or some
shit he says i thought you were 18 my bad and then you don't know when that message was sent
but then there's another message sent like presumably not that long later where he just
hits her up again which is hi yeah ask her a month later like give me your number i lost your number
right i saw that one i don't know look the good thing is
like he's the type of guy not gonna forget your birthday
so there's one good quality you gotta remember two birthdays your 18th he's gonna be very happy
about and your 19th he's done actually you done aged out the system, Mitch. That shit is a funeral.
You trying to make out with him on the 19th birthday?
He's like.
Oops.
She's like, I'm 19.
That eyebrow comes up like.
He's on gymnast time. After you're 20 you're like sorry you can't you can't compete
out to the pasture
you're giving you birthday condolences uh sorry about that
no but in all seriousness it looks though he is strict about it yeah and that is important to say
because if we're going to get motherfuckers
out of here for being a pedophile they got to be a pedophile and as far as i'm concerned pedophiles
when you tell them you're underage don't drop the combo that's when the combo begins right and they
said that he was grooming but how you groom someone if the second you know the age you stop
talking and then when they are legal you could and they hit you up you don't hit him back he seems like he seems like this is the thing he's
approached with the most intelligence you know i mean like like his jokes are never from the
highest intelligence and i think he's funny yeah and talented but this is like it seems like he
knows he's talking to them and then the second they say their age like he doesn't ask how old
are you does he yeah
i think sometimes yeah there's times where he asked him when the girl said it he was out because
it seems like i can see how you're like all right if i start talking to her at 16 she's gonna be
into it and then when she's 18 i can fuck legally but she's i've done all the work and like it's
easier to get her into it because she's 16 like i said you really got to a 16 year old girl for
two years bro but that's the craziest shit to me You really gonna talk to a 16 year old girl for two years, bro? Bro, that's the craziest shit to me.
Dog,
talking to a 16 year old girl
for two years?
Bro, talk.
You deserve that.
Yo, son,
you know how annoying that must be?
Talking about homework
and pep rallies
for two years?
Yo, 16 year old girl
for two years,
the torture
that must be, son?
The only thing weirder
than wanting to have sex with 16
year old girls is wanting to talk to 16 year old girls this idea that grooming grooming bro it's
kind of an arrogant way to talk about it too like go make you sound like you're like a show dog
i was being groomed i was like some of these girls are like bitch you were getting cut
bitch you ain't that good on a leash obviously all right you're getting trimmed a
little i don't think it busts out the blow dryer the real best in show only speaks when told to
speak you out here got a pocket barking bitch
oh grooming is fucked up though that's really say what grooming is fucked up though you shouldn't do
that yeah it's arrogant mark has something that sound like mark was saying that's me
setting up my future career
no for real obviously grooming is super foul definitely fucked up it just doesn't look like
the dude was grooming it just looked like he liked barely legal chicks and a lot of motherfuckers is
on barely legal uh internet it looks like he likes illegal but he's willing to wait for barely legal
that's what i'm saying bro i don't like these comics that are like man this guy's so gross
while they're jerking off to incest porn and fucking barely legal porn all the time. That's true.
Like, y'all got the same taste.
Hold on.
Let me decide what I say before I say it.
It is weird that that's a category.
And you know what?
Before this whole thing we've said, I think, on this podcast, like, why is that even a category?
Yeah.
Like, why would you even call it that?
Like, just, you don't even gotta say nothing
just have them look that way and then the people who click it don't gotta feel like
fucking pedophiles yeah call it like benjamin button porn don't even mention age just show
the young looking bitch and then you can be like oh i guess she's legal instead of going hey you're
a creep click right you said you were like if you click on that it's you want to see younger people it's just
that's the only legal way of seeing yes what looks like younger people it's minimum wage
that was what we said about it it's like minimum wage like they want to pay you nothing they want
you to be a slave right you think ronald mcdonald don't want you to be a slave yeah ronald mcdonald
ronald mcdonald r.i.p they're r.i.p they're closing the one on 42nd
street no they're not wow where the dykes gonna throw hamburgers at each other no westport they
still got westport oh phew thank god bro if you don't think women could throw son go to the westport
mcdonald's bro anyway so just to to what is it you know add some closure to this to this shit
so far from what we've seen i can't say that dalia knowingly entered into relationships illegally
yeah i can't say that he likes younger girls there are lots of guys out there that like younger girls you know there's a lot of guys out there dating 18 to 22 okay yeah there is yeah you know so what's your smile about
between both of our girls and us you know i mean like
son my girl's 14 years old. You know what I'm saying?
My girl's 14.
My girl's 26 now.
22 when we started dating.
You know what I mean?
Exactly.
You know what I mean?
But girls age quick like milk.
You know what I mean?
Like milk would be good on Tuesday,
and then Wednesday you take a sniff,
you're like,
what the fuck is this?
God damn! Goddamn!
Goddamn!
What percent
old is this milk?
This shit feel like
99% old.
Here we are, ladies and gentlemen.
We're coming down.
We're coming down. We're almost there.
We're almost at the pinnacle of the year.
We are almost at the most flagrant moment of all of 2020.
But before we get there, we have to see the runner-up.
The penultimate moment.
The penultimate moment.
Looting in Minneapolis, or as Charlemagne calls it, Manianapolis.
Yeah, that shit was hilarious.
Yeah, he kept calling, Manianapolis. Yeah, that shit was hilarious.
Yeah, he kept calling it Manianapolis,
and I know someone's going to cut footage of him saying,
man, this foul was happening in Manianapolis,
and it's just me going.
I'm not laughing at the looting and the destruction.
I'm laughing at him calling it Manianapolis.
Now, obviously a lot of crazy shit going on with all the looting.
Question.
If,
if,
if you loot and you bring home
food for your family.
Yeah.
Does your girl consider that effort?
Hey,
hey,
let me tell you something.
Is that, is that effort? hey let me tell you something is that is that effort because that's effort she's probably gonna be like i mean there's tvs at target too you couldn't grab a tv while you're
ready yo i'm all about effort bro i really understand effort now they were making some
effort in minneapolis did y'all see that yo it's just
effort i think that's just modern day hunting say what modern day hunting that's modern day
hunting and bro what do people in minneapolis always complain about how cold it is right
everything on fire right that's got to increase the temperature a little tiny bit right
minneapolis must at least have gone up a few degrees.
A few.
Yo, let's be honest.
How soon into the looting, because we all know we're all looting.
How soon into the looting are you looting?
Like, is it?
My only concern is I could get fucked up.
There is no, I'm not going to pretend there's any moral, like, well, I'm not paying for
things.
My concern is I might get got if I walk out with something too there's any moral like, well, I'm not paying for things. My concern is,
I might get got
if I walk out
with something too nice.
Can I say something?
Can I say something about this?
What's interesting?
When it's Black Friday,
they got fights.
Yeah.
But looting?
Mad peaceful?
Ain't no fights.
It's mad peaceful
when you think about everybody
having a good time,
sharing.
Looting is civil unrest,
really.
Unrest,
they breaking shit like windows. But it's civil. But it's a little civil. It's unrest, really. Unrest, they breaking shit.
But it's civil.
But it's a little civil.
It's civil, bro.
Is that your Dyson?
All right, you got that. You got that shit.
Any more in stock in the back?
You check the back?
Hey.
You talking to them like employees.
Hey, you got somebody in there like this.
One flat screen per person.
They're following the arrows still.
They're going along with everything, bro.
Son, they're wearing masks.
Son, everything's been working out.oting is the truth this shit is supermarket
sweeps do you remember supermarket sweeps do you remember supermarket sweeps that shit was so lit
i didn't give a fuck about groceries but i was like everything's free
all right if you're looting what do you go get that's okay so first off how soon into the looting
are you jumping in we all know we're
jumping in i gotta see people that look weaker than me looting and be like all right cool
now okay first woman to go in you're going in not the first woman
it's gonna be one of these big ass simone bitches
i'm not ready yet what little chinese girl going there hey bitch that's i'm ready all right how Bitches
How soon Into looting are you joining lunic and I go so it has the group has to be big
You got a big because if the groups do yeah first if the great off. Oh, yeah, then you can still get got okay
I know mark. I think it depends on the time of day That would dictate my decision Daylight
Daylight?
Full daylight
Actually I only loot during the daylight
I don't feel comfortable at night
That's more scary
Only loot during daylight
100% daylight
And low key
I'm walking in there
And I'm going
Hey what's going on here?
Hey
Start picking stuff off the ground
Hey hey
Where is this supposed to go?
Hey we gotta clean up in there
Yo they're gonna
They're gonna follow you
Like they follow that motherfucker at AutoZone.
Are you a cop?
Tell me you're not a cop.
We got to get into a little AutoZone shit.
I would get a shopping cart.
You would get a shopping cart?
I would move with the shopping cart, yeah.
Would you carry around a broom so you could act as if you're cleaning it up if the cops come in?
Yeah, I would put on a red polo.
Y'all are fine. Y'all are fine if the cops come. I'm worried about on a red a red polo y'all are fine y'all are fine if
the cops come i'm worried about y'all when cops aren't there say again but here's the thing if you
this is what happens with looting which is why it's so beautiful if i'm carrying some shit you
want beautiful and then you take it from me right i know where i got it i know where i listen do you
know what i mean i'm not even gonna have it it's not gonna be a listen. Do you know what I mean? I'm not even going to have it.
It's not even going to be a big deal.
You got this one, bro.
I'm going back to it.
You go to the source.
I'm going to the source.
You got the PlayStation 2.
First of all,
if that PS5 was out right now, son,
they are lucky.
Yo, if you work in one of these places,
you're better off looting at the place you work.
100%.
Because you know where everything is.
You know where everything is.
And when the cops show up, you man isn't this crazy that's exactly
i was gonna say i was like i'll look for a uniform or whatever store i meant yeah put
throw that on and be like son i was just working up i was always my shift
it's four in the morning you're like yeah night shift also do greeters stop working
it's just your job to greet security so what stores do you shop at
ain't it Walmart got greeters
that's all I know
ain't no Walmart greeter working
nah but think about it
you gotta do your job still
your job isn't to protect the store
maybe at Walmart they still make you do your job
welcome to Walmart bro
welcome me
welcome me you think that's why they started looting they walked into Target and they were like nothing Welcome to Walmart, bro. Welcome me. Welcome me.
You think that's why they started looting?
Say what?
They walked into Target and they were like, nothing.
Sign.
Yeah.
We can't get fairness anywhere.
I'll be honest.
I think they started looting for a different reason.
I don't know if you can follow the news at all.
It might have been that.
No justice, no greets.
No justice, no greets.
But for real, think about it.
Looting.
Looting is kind of how humans operate with nature.
It's actually in our DNA.
It's the most natural form of shopping.
When you come across a tree with mad oranges in it,
you take them shits.
As many as you can carry.
No checkout.
Yeah, we call it harvesting
Harvesting
That's all people are doing
Is harvesting
This is harvesting
They're harvesting Target
First of all
Don't name your store that
If you don't want to be
The first place we go
That's a good ass point
They're targeting us
No shit
Your logo's a bullseye
Of course you're gonna get it first
Yo Black people
Are probably just going there
To talk about how they felt.
Yeah.
We're better to talk about how we feel like targets than target.
Than target.
You think the black people are going to go to KKK, Mark?
What's all the other stories?
I guarantee you this motherfucker's protecting Kmart right now.
Oh, they're not going to let that happen.
Ain't no blue light special over here, y'all.
What's a blue light?
The cops!
I'm telling you!
K-Mart was fucking third.
Oh, shit!
K-Mart knew it the whole fucking time.
Here comes Supermarket Sweeps Us.
Yo.
We're not supposed to have this much fun about what's happening in Minneapolis.
So now what are you guys getting?
Say again?
What are you guys taking?
Where am I going?
First thing?
Yeah, what's the first thing?
Candy.
There is a hierarchy of shit that you are going to take inside the store.
Yeah.
Are you calling your mom and be like, mom, do you need anything?
Yeah, 100%.
You have to.
You are?
Yeah.
You have to.
But then you can miss out on a lot of the
Good shit you call it on the way. Yo plan ahead a little no no no a loop does not happen
Like yo, we bout to loot
Your protests and somebody busts open window a few people go in there. They start grabbing shit
You're like, well, I don't want to be the motherfucker ain't got shit. Hey look you get like you can't do multiple stores
That's one store. Yeah
This is Black Friday for real.
We planning this out.
There's no planning.
There's no planning.
No, you have to plan now so that when it happens, like.
That's the move.
That's the move.
Flat screen TVs.
I'm going to let my mom know in advance.
That seems crazy.
That's like you get 800 bucks maybe and you have to carry this giant TV.
Okay, what's more valuable?
I would get as many SD cards as possible.
SD cards? They're so cheap nowadays cheap nowadays no they're mad expensive you get the big ones where it's like 200 gigs okay
that's behind the case all right he made he made one of them smart answers because i know when i
was on supermarket sweeps i wasn't on it but i was imagining it i'm like i'm getting all that
fucking captain crunch do you know what i'm saying i was like i'm'm getting all that fucking Captain Crunch. Do you know what I'm saying?
I was like, I'm going to get all that Captain Crunch.
And then these bitches out here, they get steaks and all that kind of shit that costs way more.
So SD cards is good.
What's something else that's expensive?
And portable?
And little.
And little.
I'm going immediately to the jewelry store.
That's a good point.
The target jewelry section?
No.
I'm a fucking loser.
Keep it.
What are you talking about
fucking idiot
we're not talking
this is almost
real sterling silver
are we only talking Target
I thought we were talking
to any store
nah it's whatever's
being looted
currently I think
it's just a department store
or something like that
like a mall
what's being looted
ah okay okay
so I see people
trying to break in
to the cash registers
with sledgehammers
I ain't getting no
$50 bro
you get $50 out of that
who pays cash at Target?
And that's mad long, too.
Mexicans, that's it.
Yeah, wait, what?
Mexicans be paying cash
everywhere, yo.
They get paid in cash, bro.
Hey, they pay cash.
That's what I'm saying.
They don't got that W-2.
W-2?
W-2.
All right.
All right, all right, all right.
I'm trying to think
of what I would get.
Fuck, what's the most expensive thing at Target? I'm not trying to think of what I would get fuck what's the most
expensive thing I'd talk about
I'm not trying to
I'm not trying to come up
crazy on money
get you a little camcorder
I don't think camcorder
oh maybe you could like
break the thing
a lot of shit they keep
in the back
the SD card is behind
the fucking case
anything that's super easy
to steal and expensive
you could break the case
but you're not gonna find
cameras like even the cameras
they put out in the spot
I don't know if those are legit.
No, but they're all in a bat.
That's right, they're all in a bat,
so you can't get,
are we going straight to the back?
We're going to the back.
We're going to the back, son.
What the fuck do you think this is, yo?
We ain't no front of the store.
I'm serious. I'm serious.
Okay, serious question.
When enough people commit a crime at the same time,
ooh, rhyming, uh--huh does no one get arrested
bro what can you do i'm kind of thinking i mean you could look through the footage they gotta
have all the footage son but everyone's wearing masks yeah what everyone that's my maybe the first
thing i'd get because i saw people in that store they didn't have a mask. Wait, what kind of mask would you get?
Probably one to cover my face, Mark.
Are you talking about like a medical mask or like an actual mask? No, like a robber.
What?
I would get a robber mask so that they couldn't tell my identity.
Yeah.
But you got to go in the store to get the robber mask.
To get the robber mask.
I'd also get a sweatshirt.
What?
I'd get some clothing or apparel so that I would go in as one person and then come out as a different person.
Ooh, that's...
That being said...
Get the hair dye, too?
Get the hair dye.
I'm switching it up.
I'm coming out of there Joker.
You're going to use all your time dyeing your fucking hair.
Oh, guys, you fucked my whole shit up.
Oh, my God, it was a $5 bottle of fucking hair dye.
Everybody's walking out of their PlayStation 5.
You sit in the back
Walk out ready to go. This is a blue. This just cops at me like Eminem
Now but for real if enough people commit crime at the same time does nobody go down if I get Dwayne waves Robin
crime at the same time does nobody go down like fucking duane wade's robin what's going on poor duane wade trying to have you know be supportive of his kid bro hey man he really wasted that shit
he wasted the whole pr move that got swallowed up in the news cycle oh my god that's so
dwayne wade made himself gay to support his kid nobody even cares and there's a himself gay to support his kid. And nobody even cares anymore. And there's a whole ride to Minneapolis.
Hey, we don't got time for trans rights yet, bro.
This shit really reminded us.
Y'all down the line.
We got to give rights to other people before we get to y'all.
Oh, my God. That's true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We have to run it back.
Remind y'all.
Remind y'all.
Now, Dwayne, wait.
We have to protest with fucking pink hair looking like this.
Like, come on on y'all
he's on fire
oh my god
dog
this is crazy time
okay but in all seriousness
breaking the law together
what is the rule in that
I don't think
if there's more people
breaking the law
than there are cops
you all get away
no they just grab some
and then you just kind of
like run
you just hope that you're not
one of them
yeah it's a raffle
that's lit.
SD cards.
I don't know.
Laptop.
Y'all.
And a camera.
Running with all the black people.
10 Gs for this shit.
I think I might get caught.
Al just brought up a great goddamn point.
Oh, damn.
Y'all gonna stick out in the riots.
Not stick out.
If we're running away from the cops, who do you think they're gonna catch up to first?
Oh, that's a good point, bro.
I'm gonna be wheezing.
Hands on my knees.
Also, Minneapolis got all these Somalis. You know, they could fucking run at a fast pace forever. gonna catch up to first oh that's a good point bro i'm gonna be wheezing hands on my knees also
minneapolis got all these somalis you know they could fucking run at a fast pace forever they
don't need no food they just keep going dog there was this one video of this somali chick they
threw tear gas the can and the small chick ran up grabbed the tear gas can and threw that shit back
and everybody's like oh my god she's so brave like she didn't do that in her country
for years before she came here when i'm walking in my apartment i smell indian food that's how she responded
like hey man this reminds me of childhood growing up don't grab it from the top i didn't call my mom oh boy anyway well i'm glad we could have some fun with that
hey man we found the fun in that yeah no it is kind of crazy what's going on so uh this morning
we come in we're discussing what we're going to talk about and a little conspiracy theory pops up that maybe the fire in the riots that started in Minneapolis, the fire might have been caused by a singular person wanting to incite the riots, a white guy. um now his race uh is important but also not important depending on who you want who you think
benefits the most from controlling these riots so like the assumption i think is what that this is
government planned let's put on the tinfoil hat let's get crazy let's do like what the crazy
conspiracy theorist is the conspiracy theorist would say
that the government yes yeah or like local police force or like basically some sort of government
authority what the historical precedent for it is like what they call an agent provocateur okay and
like there's like actual verified events of this happening like russia even that's a lingerie brand son yeah i know that's literally
a lingerie brand they took it from them i mean the lingerie brand took it from the name that existed
wow you ain't never bought your girl no asian provocateur no buyer that victoria's secret that
epstein yeah of course i do bro my girl's small yeah my girl's skinny yo son do they make kids
long now forget it and there's a reason they like their girl skinny i mean
all right go on going back to asian provox i think that you thought that i was talking about the
i thought you were talking about that laundry i'm
like there's a story about adam and eve you're like the lingerie brand oh no no that's a sex
brand sex website they sell dildos you think the bible took it from them you think any girl
stole a dildo during that loot yeah bro the ones that are walking funny
probably probably dump the bag on the fucking table we got everything this big old fucking
rabbit that's probably the thing i stole in the most because these gay bitches gonna be the most
ready to glute they're gonna be the most bold with it and they got the most pockets in their
pants that's true y'all they wearing fucking jean coats out there they're wearing jean coats
with the dungarees you're just throwing it inside wait what are those called overalls
you're just throwing it inside wait what are those called overalls
dungarees it's a way sometimes so dungarees bro i can't remember the last time i said dungarees what happened to dungarees i i honestly don't know what dungarees are every lesbian kind of
looks like antifa a little tim duncan wears dungarees look like it yo shit that's a brand
or type of jean i think it's a brand i think no i think it's a thing like you know
overall it's a thing like with the strap yeah is dungarees a type of thing like that or that's just
a brand i think is a type of thing like that shut up all right you go keep going in all seriousness
bro that's the first thing i'm looting i'm going to the dungarees section i'm passing people who got ps4s and xbox
i and i'm like look i'm like y'all seen any dungarees yeah they're in the back locked up
we might have to bust through and get that dungare stuff. Alright, go back. Agent provocateur, go.
Yeah, so it's like a legit thing apparently
that basically the core of the definition is like
it's a person who commits or
who acts to entice another person to commit
an illegal or rash act
or falsely implicate them by
partaking in an illegal act.
This happened in the US a couple times.
They say that the FBI
posed as agents, this is from Wikipedia, fbi poses agents to disrupt civil uh protests and activities um including the clue
clucks clan the american indian movement and the student non-violent coordinating committee
this is the um i don't know if this is the handout in my pocket or something like that right
is that what they alleged happened with that with malcolm x yeah i'm not sure about that now this is the same as astro turfing
kind of astro turfing would be like implementing like information to create a movement whereas
this would be going into a pre-existing protest real quick a grassroots movement would be an
organic independent movement right kind of like us right organic independent
movie pushing back against you know cancel culture having fun say what you want a fucking podcast
astroturfing would be if some company like comedy central paid us essentially to do that right
is that right they paid us and they like you know put up all the money they created all the systems
etc but made it look like it was organic.
Yeah, but they were like, don't mention us at all.
Right.
But you just keep it to, I got you, got you, got you.
But this thing actually happened in 2013.
This officer was arrested and sentenced to two years in prison for second degree assault,
coercion, riot, and criminal mischief at a motorcycle rally.
And literally went in was like breaking windows and
like starting all sorts of shit right so the assumption is and clarify is it there's this guy
and there's a video of it you guys can check it out on twitter matter of fact we can play it in a
second uh matter of fact why don't you just play it with no audio while we're talking over it so
this guy is seen during the day before the auto zone is on fire obviously leaving the auto zone he's
got a full umbrella he's got a full gas mask he's got goggles backpack gloves everything he's seen
leaving the auto zone apparently broke a window in the audio zone later that day the auto zone is
on fire there's a building on fire etc um so people are going why the fuck was he in there
he doesn't seem like he's part of the protest.
The people who were protesting are trying to check him and he's walking away from them
and arguing with them.
Can't really see his identity cause he got all this shit over his face.
But some people are saying maybe he put some explosive shit inside the auto zone.
Now, what is the benefit?
You guys were explaining this to me before the podcast, but why would the government,
the police force, the CIA, the FBI, whoever the fuck, why would the government the police force the cia
the fbi whoever the fuck why would they do this during a protest what would be the point of it
so it basically would incentivize like they're trying to incentivize people that are already
angry to do violent and like uh like to do violent criminal activities to then discredit
their movement and their protests. Right, so.
It's a PR move.
It is a PR move on behalf of the government, right,
or the police force or whatever it is,
because you want to move or shift the conversation
away from police brutality
and this innocent black man that was murdered
to look how hostile and violent these protesters are.
Yeah, and then you start seeing,
you see all these
people maybe it's just hate retweets but all these people being like yo i i i accept your
right to civilly protest but when you start rioting and looting you lose all credibility
with me like that exact tweet i'm seeing everywhere and that and i think it also gives
the authorities a reason to go in with force so they can't just go in with force when people are
peacefully protesting because you look like a bunch of douchebags you just killed a black guy
yeah right innocent black guy choked him out to death and then you're just going to start
shooting rubber bullets at innocent protesters that are protesting something that shouldn't
have happened in the first place the constitution protects peaceful protest people protest and the
right to assembly so how do you stop that so you how do you stop that you stop it from being peaceful take away
that peaceful word and then the conversation ends up becoming more about these riots than it is
about the murder of a of an innocent man and right now you see that's what's happening all the air
waves are even us right now we're discussing the riots we're not discussing the murder of the innocent man yeah and in some people's minds as akash was saying it justifies the harsh treatment
of people yeah because people who have nothing to do or know nothing about the case start saying
well maybe this is why the police got to be so harsh because you see what they're doing they're
looting they're rioting or whatever yeah it's really interesting what not to mention it also
would have likely it likely
affects the community that's affected by the police brutality yes that's something you guys
were saying earlier as well takes jobs away from black people that work to the target or whatever
it is like you blow up the auto zone who does that affect it doesn't affect like the rich white
people it doesn't affect the rich indians or the rich asians nope it doesn't even affect the rich
black people right it affects the poor people,
black, white, Asian, Indian, whatever,
who are in that one neighborhood.
People seem to riot locally.
And when you locally destroy your businesses,
that fucks up your business
and then other businesses
are going to be scared to come in there.
And then if you are the powers that be,
you can say, you know what?
They'll fuck up their own property value
10, 15 years down the road.
We'll just buy it back super cheap, build high rises on it or whatever.
It'll just expedite gentrification.
Like, that's fine.
We'll just buy it cheaper.
So maybe we got to get information out there.
Maybe we got to get information out there about why you can't fall for this trap and
how you can't.
It's not about like not looting.
I like civil unrest,
to be honest with you.
I mean,
I think it's fucked up that there's,
you know,
private businesses that are being destroyed because of this.
Hopefully they have insurance and they can build all these things back up.
But I hope not.
Nobody's lives are lost or anything like that.
That being said,
I like people fucking shit up to let the government know that like,
Hey,
you can't just get away with everything.
We get angry and we break shit and you can't just get away with everything.
We get angry and we break shit and you're gonna have to deal with that.
So we're gonna need our feelings addressed
and we're gonna need you to be accountable
or else you're gonna have to handle a lot more shit.
Oh, okay, we lied.
There's one more.
So that was the pen penultimate,
now penultimate moment of flagrancy.
Let's go.
Can I be honest with y'all?
When I was looking at pictures of my mom when she was younger.
Please don't.
Please don't.
Because I've seen them pictures.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
Not only is my mom fine, like my dad got a joint.
And my dad was handsome too.
I'm not going to lie.
He was a little stud muffin.
He was a stud muffin. And right after I was born, my. I'm not going to lie. He was a little stud muffin. Son, he was a stud muffin.
And right after I was born, my mom had the heavy tits.
Son, you're disgusting.
She had the heavy webbies.
Bro, she had the heavy webbies, dog.
She had the heavy webbies.
Son, you're nasty.
I'm just saying objectively speaking, my mom's tits was heavy.
Like, when you look at your parents, it's just love. Can you look at her at her then because i need to confirm what i'm seeing i can't do it that's
she had the juggernauts she had the juggernauts dude she did gosh them sweater pups and they were and then i started looking at her and i was like yo does my girl kind of look like my mom a little
bit back in the day i might have an audible complex is it audible or edible my mom was Let's go dad Let's go dad
You know what I mean
Yo
Yo
I'm crazy
Yes
Akash your mom wasn't
Fire you yarn
You yarn
I'm sure she was
But you never saw
They didn't have pictures
I didn't
They just made the cameras there
Sent them right over here dog
My mom moved here in 70s
No 68 or something like that
So they must have had a cam
Yeah yeah And She looks pretty That's my mom But I didn't or something like that. So they must have had a cam. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And?
She looks pretty.
That's my mom, but I didn't see her like that.
You know how pretty your mom was?
Your dad met her one day and said, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her.
No, I get it.
That's bad.
Yeah, no, I get it.
She was probably bad, but I don't.
I legit don't look at my mom and be like, oh, take a look.
Son.
At mama.
Keep it 100.
Keep it a stat.
I'm keeping it a buck.
She wasn't filling out that silk.
Son.
She wasn't.
She wasn't.
That silk wasn't busting at the seams.
You want to call her and ask her?
Yo, low key, tell her to send the best pic because we know the feets are on point with that plum nail polish.
Yo, are you out of your goddamn mind? I never thought I'd say this, but this gone too far. best pick because we know the feets are on point with that plum nail polish
but this gone too far it's gone too far
ma what size bra are you oh my god yeah
it's supposed to be a 34 but i think all of the years have expanded to 38 or 40.
I'm sure by now.
Wow.
Them juggernauts!
Why? What is this for?
Nah, I'm just curious.
You're not going to make-
Did you get my-
My note?
I think-
How is she unfazed? I thought I sent it this morning,
but I didn't press the button.
What?
How is she unfazed about that question?
Yeah, but did you send the picture of those jugs or what?
No, I didn't. Why?
Well, I wanted you to send the picture over.
You want me to send a picture of my jugs?
What are you talking about?
No, we're just recording the podcast.
You're on the podcast.
Say hi to everybody on the podcast.
I'm not saying hi to anybody on the podcast.
Good night, Andrew.
No, no, no, no, no.
You're saying hi.
Mom.
Hello.
Hello.
Hi, everyone.
Hi, everyone.
And these creeps were asking if you had nice feet
They're very strong. I have no problems, no bunions, no anything.
People remark about my feet, honey.
What'd you say?
They remark about how nice my feet are.
Who's they?
People, just regular people.
She knows how to send these phone calls.
You got an OnlyFans?
I won't say that again.
Do you have an OnlyFans?
Only?
No, I just have one.
I'm a dancer, so people see your feet, and they remark at how nice they are.
Yeah.
I have a very good-looking pair of feet.
Alex.
Alex.
No, no.
Stop.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
They got all uncomfortable because we were looking at pictures. Remember the other night when we were looking at pictures? Oh, Alex. Stop. Nope. Nope. Nope. They got all uncomfortable because we were looking at pictures.
Remember the other night when we were looking at pictures?
And I was just remarking how beautiful you were when you were younger.
Asked you what I am now?
No, I didn't mean like that.
Obviously, you're still beautiful, right?
But you were like a hot chick when you were younger.
Oh, yes. But they thought that my buddies thought you can't you were like a hot chick when you were younger yes but they
they thought that my buddies thought you can't call your mom a hot chick
when she was younger you were a hot chick i was a hot chick yeah and then after you gave birth
you had some big old breasts i did gain some breasts yes i, I did. A little bit. But they went back down. Oh, dear.
Some baby's just crying.
Their eyes out here.
Why don't you go feed that baby?
Feed that baby with those breasts.
Oh, my God.
And then you do.
Y'all see where I get it from, huh?
Yo, this is the queen.
I'll tell you, you cannot phase Mama Schultz. There's nothing you can do to phase Mama Schultz.
No, no.
But I, um, yeah, no, I was a really hot chick.
And your daddy, oh, wasn't he good looking?
Big dick.
Wasn't he?
Yes.
Oh, God. Oh. Oh, God. at sex okay everybody there's a reason why this moment right here was the most flagrant moment of all of 2020 there is a reason why we left it for last there's a reason why it is number one and i could take
some time here explaining why that was or i could just show you the fucking clip so let's start with
the magic would you guys would you guys take red pill blue pill like if after you took the red pill
they were like yo one more shot you could blue pill it that's a long silence right there i'm thinking about it the only cool thing
about red pill is you get to learn shit mad easily remember neil learned kung fu in 10 seconds just
yeah could you learn not to dress like a I said to myself
How long before he
Gross your ass
I can't take this
From Tommy Bahama over here
Get the fuck out of here yo
Son I got my burps bro
How's it end
No I don't know
You are dressed like a
Like a hood baby
Son is he not
Son he is You're cuter than a hood baby But real talk You dress like you wanna Fuck that hood baby. Is he not?
Who's cuter than a hood baby?
You dress like you want to fuck that hood baby.
Come on, bro.
You can't make jokes about that.
You will get delivery from FedEx.
No, but for real, can you show your little cute-ass Timberlands, bro?
Yeah, buddy.
Show his little cute-ass Timberlands, son.
Bro, is this in frame? You need to show these Timberlands in frame, bro.
Put them up.
Put them in the sky, son.
You know they like to lift.
You got to put the fucking croc Timberlands right there.
Son, take off one of your Timberlands, bro.
This shit is so adorable.
I was trying to tell.
I was like, yo, take those off, son.
I told you, son.
What type of construction you doing this?
A gazebo? Is that what you're doing? I told you What type of Constructing you doing this A gay Z-Bow
Son
Son
Son
What the fuck
Do you use these for bro
What do you use these for
Disappointing
Those are the shit
You get at Marshalls
And some shit
This shit
This shit
This shit right here bro
They don't even put this On a rack of Models They just go Like that You caught it and some shit like that. There's shit right here, bro.
They don't even put this on a rack of Models.
They just go like that.
You caught it.
You Odell Beckham that shit.
No question.
No question my manhood.
You gay just like him.
You know what's bad, dude?
I bet your girl bought that
and so you're forced to wear it.
Nah, I bought them.
Nah, she bought them
so they could share them.
I was trying to give you the out.
Nah, nah, nah.
I was trying to give you the out.
They were $39. I said, let me try something was trying to give you the out. They were $39.
I said,
let me try something new
and it didn't work out.
They were $39 for a reason.
I know.
I see that now.
They upcharge you
on them fucking galoshes
and whatever the fuck
them shits on.
Look how hard he is
to put his foot in them shits.
Acting like they have
any framework whatsoever.
They just got no integrity, bro.
You got paper mache
Timberlands, bro.
You gotta take some risks sometimes. Yo, son. I hate your shoes so much, bro. whatsoever they've just got no integrity bro you got paper mache timberlands bro
i hate your shoes so much bro
i tried to tell you to take them off you should take them off and you should have ate eating them bro you should with your spring roll timberlands
With your spring roll Timberlands. I'm not taking this.
How you got a spring roll order on your fucking feet, bro?
I'm not.
Cover your chest before you talk.
Oh my God, I'm dying.
Get the fuck out of here.
I mean this 100% seriously.
Can you roll those out and pray five times a day on that fucking Timberlands?
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Oh God. You gotta look at the material on these fucking Timberlands. You dress like the matcha man.
Like you're not going to serve somebody out here.
Get out of here, yo.
Those Timberlands are never going to be worn again, bro.
I promise you.
They definitely will not.
Son, I would respect you more if you walked barefoot home.
Son, I lost confidence on the way up here.
I said, you know what?
I don't think this worked.
I wish I walked more.
How'd you lose confidence?
What happened?
Did you see a baby in a stroller with her feet off the end?
Wearing the exact same type of
Timberlake
And fucking bullshits
Honestly
It looks like you left
Them shits in the bath
Too long bro
It looked like some
Dinosaur fucking
Oh man
Bro for real
We gotta retire those
This podcast
And we gotta
They gotta be part of the background bro
You might wanna just
Take those shoes down
And put them on now
We really got to bro Nah nah nah Honestly, bro. You might want to just take those shoes down and put them on now. We really got to, bro.
No, no, no.
You might want to put those on right now.
Honestly, I do not know if they'll stand up straight.
I think they might just fold down.
I think we need to prop them up, bro.
I think we need to prop up those niggas.
It's like a costume boot.
It just goes over your shoe.
It's like the Jack Sparrow shit.
Where you going cookie you gonna take a shit
Yo imagine he peed right on the boots, oh man you would have to throw about right yo
Throw now they would look way nicer those getting thrown out those getting you know he knows about mark's dirty
that's a big ass hole in his sock right now
mark came through with the rip van winkle socks
nah but for real those tims man I took a chance you know what I mean
everybody should try
sometimes
Al fuck a black girl
more take a shower
let's try different things
every once in a while
you know what I mean
I mean
I mean
the fact that I'm roasting
you successfully
while wearing these
right here
I know bro
he's dressed like
the boy in striped pajamas
and you're over here
getting fucking toasted
he's not dressed like
the boy
I'm dressed like the boy
he's dressed like the boy.
He dressed like he want to fuck me.
You think this is pedophile wear?
For sure, yo.
This is how they dress?
This is rich white man attire.
You dress like a coke half brother.
I'm not full.
No.
I'm not all the way in. He's got some black friends.
Oh my God, bro.
I got sweaty, bro.
I'm literally sweaty right now.
For real. You got to be sweating too. I got sweaty, bro. I'm literally sweaty right now. For real.
You gotta be sweating, too.
I definitely am. Yo, when you walk
in them...
I bet you
when you walk in them, they sound like water moccasins,
bro. I really believe that.
Son, I was trying to feel like the other Indians. You know what I mean? Son, they sound like water moccasins, bro. I really believe that. I was trying to feel like the other Indians.
You know what I mean?
So they look like...
Motherfucker came through with the air Geppettos.
You're getting a Pocahontas, yo.
All right, guys.
That was the most flagrant moments of the year for 2020.
We hope you loved it.
Thank you guys so much for rocking with us.
This has been the most crazy year, obviously,
you know, for all of us to exist in,
but for flagrant too. I mean, we year obviously you know for all of us to exist in but uh but for
flagrant too i mean we grew you know to astronomical numbers uh and that's all because of you guys we
don't do any advertising we literally just try to deliver the best content we can and you guys
share it with the world you fucking did that so thank you guys so much for everything we are
excited as hell about 2021 we are coming back we are gonna be stronger bigger better braver everything we possibly
can be it's about to get crazy
it's about to get crazy so we're excited to
hit you guys first week
we will be there
January we got
the Patreon still going biggest comedy
Patreon in the world we're going for biggest Patreon in the world
this next year fuck it let's just take over
everything why not why would that's
patreon.com slash flagrant2 y'all can go sign up for that. Keep spreading the word, man. Keep
growing this thing. Let's make it as big as it possibly can be this flagrant to I'm Andrew
Schultz. This is Akash Singh. That's Alex media as Mark Gagnon. We've got the truffle in the
building. Thank y'all so much. Peace, love and see you in 2020 happy new year