Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - The Trans Takeover Has Begun

Episode Date: July 14, 2020

This week Andrew Schulz, Akaash Singh, AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon discuss the hottest Trans of all time, Will and Jada are the new Kardashians, give black people reparations, exposing NBA's fake activ...ism and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 let's get right into it this trans model that is in sports illustrated is unbelievably beautiful okay i think that she's earned it i think if you're tranny, you have to be hotter, way hotter than a real woman. Does that make sense? It's like impossible meat got to be way better than the worst hamburger. Hey, let me tell you something. This is beyond bitch right here. This is beyond bitch. This is beyond bitch right here.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Yo, this is the impossible bitch. We done found this. Real talk. Impossible tranny. We done found it. This bitch is for real. I need to try the vegan vajayjay. Like, dude, this girl, her name is Valentina Sampaio, right?
Starting point is 00:00:54 Look her up. She's on my Instagram. So that's the first. You know this tranny's fine when you have your boys message you like, yo, seen who's gonna be on victoria's secret literally all i did was i messaged back the group chat my search history on instagram and youtube not browsers yet but bro this girl if anybody's watching right now valentina simpio she's gonna be a sports illustrated swim suit uh 2020 rookie right she was probably in the regular sports what if she laughs like that she's a rookie swimsuit model but as a dude She's a red shirt freshman She's in her second year
Starting point is 00:01:47 The best fucking Patrice joke When he talk about how his girl Laughs old Remember he's little Date these girls back in the day And he laughs But my girl being in the crib like This girl is so fine
Starting point is 00:02:04 But if she had a crazy dude laugh Dude I've looked at everything I've looked feet Abs How are the feet? Feet I've only seen heels She's in a lot of like
Starting point is 00:02:13 Toe length? Toe length I've only seen heels An inch shoe I haven't seen just flat feet That's a second toe man Long It might be
Starting point is 00:02:19 The 11th toe is pretty long But for real dude dude, look. The body, the shoulders. She is size 14, Jordan. You think? She got to have something. Oh, man. Look at her.
Starting point is 00:02:31 The butt. She doesn't have enough butt for me, for a dude. You know what I mean? She don't got that Jorge Masvidal. Jorge Masvidal? Jorge got that horsey? He got the horsey. Giddy up. Yo, what're going to talk about- Jorge got that horsey? Son, he got the horsey. Giddy up.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Yo, what happened to this podcast? What happened? Valentina Sampaio came on. We all went fucking gay. Son. No, don't show the real women, Al. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. Okay, because-
Starting point is 00:02:57 Hey, that's a real woman, yo. Say what? That's a real woman. What makes a woman a woman? That's how I knew back in the day. Once these girls got fine as fuck we were gonna start really going like do you know what i'm saying oh yeah yeah here's the question is she your most prophetic joke prophetic yeah i thought you said pathetic no no no you had you
Starting point is 00:03:15 had a line i don't remember you kept it but you said something like oh boy here we go caitlin jenner still looks a little brucey which is a great way she got a little bruce in her she got a little bruce in her but here's the thing that's interesting is this girl percentage wise valentina simpio girl dude whatever you know it's interesting you get to identify as whatever you want why can't i identify you as whatever i want like i'm allowed to say america is the best country in the world you're allowed to say india is right but i'm allowed to say America's the best country in the world You're allowed to say India is
Starting point is 00:03:46 But I'm allowed to say you're not I identify you as not Why is that hateful? I don't hate India I'm like nah There's a gold medal in there and there ain't Y'all bronze like your skin But that being said
Starting point is 00:04:04 Okay This girl right here Valentinaina's empire okay is she percentage wise more fake than kylie jenner percentage of her body oh shit no chance no chance she's got to be less fake than kylie think about right right? Like, let's go through everything. Maybe she got lips done. I looked at the lips. The lips are amazing. She got great with fam. Same with Kylie.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Can you call her fam? Oh, you call her whatever you want. What is the most like? Al, could you call her my N-word? Oh, yeah. She's a nigga. She's from Brazil, too. Brazil.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Brazil's a niggas. That's a fine ass N-word? That's a fine nigga right there. So, look. So So she has maybe fake lips Maybe a little work done to the face That being said nothing else seems like work done Maybe pussy is not scooped Blown out
Starting point is 00:04:55 What do you call it? Blown out? Wait what? Oh no she doesn't have a dick So dick scooped Dick scooped Have you heard how they actually make pussies no enlighten us this is crazy you uh you hold your nose and then you breathe in real hard so you just go it's true you sit there on the doctor the doctor goes okay on the count of
Starting point is 00:05:22 three one two do you don't do that you're gonna fucking suck your dick in and have a pussy and on the doctor. The doctor goes, okay, on the count of three. One, two. You don't do that. You're going to fucking suck your dick in and have a pussy and then grow a dick again. I can't sacrifice any dick. That's why I breathe out of my mouth. I'm like. If you want Andrew to get a sex change, just hold his nose while he laughs.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Every laugh. I didn't know we were making a big mess joke. I just put it together right now. I'm not your reason laugh here. while he laughs oh my god we gotta play we're gonna go back uh by the way fa oh god shout out to fa he sent me one of the funniest things anybody's ever sent me. We're going to get it back after this one. But remind me about the thing F.A. sent. Okay? Now, so here's the thing with Valentina Sampaio. I think, and let me see. Let's see if we're on the same page here. Kylie Jenner, who has, I believe, fake boobs, fake ass, fake hips, fake jaw, fake nose, fake lips, everything.
Starting point is 00:06:21 This girl, fake puss, if she's tucked, we don't even know if she's tucked. Right. Right? Right. Fake puss, maybe lips. This girl's technically more real. Yeah. Not more girl, but more real than Kylie.
Starting point is 00:06:36 100%. So have all these girls in their plastic surgery, the Hollywood plastic surgery aesthetic, if you will. the Hollywood plastic surgery aesthetic, if you will, have they opened the door to us cracking open trannies because they're just as fake or just as real? Are women meeting trannies halfway? And now it's become so normalized and we're so used to body parts not being real
Starting point is 00:07:00 that once we see a dude with some body parts not real, we're like, well, it's no different than the last girl I dated that's a problem ladies you did it I'm just saying Brazilian trans lives matter if you put that on don't it make sense that the baddest bitch trans would be Brazilian don't that make the most sense out of all this
Starting point is 00:07:24 bro it's so true this is the most sense out of all this? Bro, it's so true. This is the most woke he's ever been, son. Am I woke? You really want to fuck a dude right now, son. I don't want to fuck a dude. I want to fuck that dude. That dude. That single guy could get some fucking neck.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Get some neck. Real talk. This guy right here, no doubt, no bullshit. If he gets out of bed too early when i'm not done cuddling i'm grabbing by his dick and yank him right back i go yo val just back over here look at this fine ass dude bitch are you kidding me are you kidding me fine ass dude bitch. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:08:06 Yo, she bad, dude. She bad. Shit. She bad. Shout out to y'all. Y'all mad progressive. Yo, we're progressive over here. I'll try to act like I'm not progressive
Starting point is 00:08:14 and he quiet over here. Yeah. Mark, did he not lecture me for like 20 minutes about how I was backwards in my trans thinking? Oh yeah, what were those thinking? What were those thoughts?
Starting point is 00:08:22 Son. Yo, yo. What were those thinking? Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Oh, yeah Fucking sit in I got some things You can sit on bitch I have a nightmare This shit is a wet dream yo No bullshit Bro it's true Sometimes you need one to change Like white people are like
Starting point is 00:09:04 Black people can't play baseball and Jackie Robinson came around and they're like they're pretty good at baseball you know this is the
Starting point is 00:09:09 Jackie Robinson let's round those bases yo take us home yo no bullshit you see her in the club you point at the stands like babe
Starting point is 00:09:19 I'm going yard come on bro Who built this bitch I need to know the Frankenstein doctor out there in Brazil To put her together We need her on the map Come on There's a bomb ass doctor out there in Brazil
Starting point is 00:09:39 This is the role model man This is what it is now She's the Tesla bitches Mark you wouldn't take it down? Yes, yes. You would? Yes. I'm not fucking mad clinical about it.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Yes, absolutely. Imagine the second girl Mark has sex with. Here's another guy. I would get taken down. I would take down. Wait, you would let her split it open? Shit. You'd let her get shucked? You'd let her shuck open? You'd get shucked?
Starting point is 00:10:05 You'd let her shuck that clam, dog? She could have some oysters for dinner with the red sauce? That's your ass bleeding. That was so graphic. I didn't understand what the metaphor was, but now I understand. The answer is yes. It's still yes. Bro, listen. You can't say no. I literally wish we could do call-ins right now. stand with the metaphors but now i understand the answer is yes it's still yes now it's bro
Starting point is 00:10:25 it's a why listen you can't say no i literally wish we could do call-ins right now i wish we could have anybody who says no is lying so here's the thing you're saying no because you know if you didn't know you're taking it down yeah think about if you didn't know who's a dude, you fucked uglier girls than that. Al? Of course. I fucked the majority of the women I fucked that have been uglier than her. I feel confident saying that. You can even say I got a thing for ugly bitches.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Yo, why you like activists so much? For real. yo why you like activists so much for real my voice is back by the way I don't have that rhodes I still want to get us tested on the podcast we should get us tested right for the antibodies let's get her tested for a Y chromosome I don't know if I believe it
Starting point is 00:11:21 I don't know if I believe that she's a dude man I do not think she's a dude. Even when she smiles, it's like a girl. We got to hear the voice. I think it also helps. That's what I've been searching for because I'm going to ruin it for you when you hear her voice. Go. You got it?
Starting point is 00:11:37 If you don't see the pictures from before the transition, I think it helps our brains. Just believe that's how it's always been. Yeah. Whatever, yo. You ain't never been with a girl who was ugly before puberty. It's it helps our brains. Just believe that's how it's always been. Yeah. Whatever, yo. You ain't never been with a girl who was ugly before puberty. It's the ugly duckling. It's the ugliest duckling. That's right.
Starting point is 00:11:52 Turned into the most beautiful swan. Oh, my God. Now, you make a good point. Everybody has an ugly duckling face. Hers was just as a guy. Yeah, she was a... And then she became beautiful. Okay, you got it?
Starting point is 00:12:02 That's not her, though, Doc. No, no, no. She's being interviewed. Okay. I was so surprised and I feel, oh my God, really? It's like a dream. This is me a lot to me and not just for myself. Please pause.
Starting point is 00:12:16 Please pause. I told you. I take back everything I've ever said. I told you. I take back everything I've ever said. That's why I seen this yesterday. So I can't be on board with y'all Cause I heard this yesterday
Starting point is 00:12:27 But y'all fucking not Y'all all wrecking, y'all all fucking not Whatever son, I'm my ally Progressive, I love it Son, here's the thing that I've never understood We need to get a trans person on this podcast so they can explain to me They will change everything in their whole body but their voice Look how easy it is to do a higher voice
Starting point is 00:12:44 Ready? Hey, how are you? You sound just like him You sound just like him Do a girl voice Do your best girl voice Go Hello
Starting point is 00:12:56 Fucking Mickey Mouse Oh boy It's hard for me to go Do your best girl voice Just be a sexy on the phone with it. You're talking to a guy on the phone Tell him describe your describe your pussy. All right, listen, I'll be the guy Yo, babe, yo, babe, what's that alexandra media change your voice y'all talk sexy in your same voice you sound more like beyonce okay ready ready here it is ready okay this is how i talk sexy i'm like i'm like hold on hold on let me get my sexy off
Starting point is 00:13:45 Did you hear that little pop? Hey Hey Alexandra Media What's that? What's that? Hatchet wound like It's nice and wet
Starting point is 00:14:03 Bro he's got like a fucking nail style It's nice and wet. He's got like a fucking nail style. It's wet. You have to wet it dry. I'm sorry. I don't got practice. Talking like a woman. How about you give it a try, buddy? Let's go.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Let's go. Keep that going. Pussy too wet. Can't walk outside. Have to let dry. What color you want that dick? That's what I can understand with the trans. Look how hard it is.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Do your best girl voice. Okay. This is me talking. Yo, what is up with this? Come on, son. I was better than that. I would fuck me. I ain't fucking that.
Starting point is 00:14:50 If people are just listening, that was me talking. That wasn't a girl that was in here. Thanks, Mark. Thanks for clarifying. I think that was pretty good. All right, ready? Alkosh, go. Best girl voice.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Oh, God. All right. Yo, set the mood. Holler at me. Yo, let me live out fantasies here. I got you. Yo. No, come on. Yo, come on now. Come on. Come on. All right. Set the mood. Holler at me. Let me live out fantasies here. I got you. Yo. No, come on.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Yo, come on now. Come on. Come on. Come on. All right. Lakshmi. Let me tell you. Let me ask you something.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Ask me anything. Wait a minute. Okay. Send me a picture of that tandoori oven. You want a picture? You want a naughty picture? Yo, he's pretty good. What is really interesting, if you're watching the video,
Starting point is 00:15:26 this is the only time I've ever seen Akash talk and then move his head. Like Indians do. You just became... You're right. You're dead ass right. I couldn't believe it. That's why I asked again. I was like, he's not going to repeat it.
Starting point is 00:15:41 Sorry, you're dead ass right. I was trying to be sassy. All right, I got best girl voice. You know what I did? I just impersonated Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson impression. But you don't think you'd be trying your whole life to figure that shit out? Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Hey, sweetheart, how are you? Yeah. No, we should definitely go to the movies. I sound like a guy? I don't know. That was we should definitely go to the movies. I sound like a guy? I don't know what that sounds like. That was pretty good. Y'all are the best. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Daniel Day-Lewis changes the way he acts in every performance. Yeah. You had one role you're trying to fill your entire life. You can't change the voice. What is that shit called? Methodist? Yeah. You're a Methodist actor.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Be Methodist. It's funny because Jesus probably said I didn't finish the sentence so we're good it's okay they all know you gotta get that image
Starting point is 00:16:34 now her jaw is looking mad pronounced real talk we can't look at that no more but shouts to you for looking fine
Starting point is 00:16:40 before so what is this why put why put her in Sports Illustrated what is this like performative. So what is this? Why put her in Sports Illustrated? Is this like performative progression? Like what's going on here? It seems kind of silly that like a magazine
Starting point is 00:16:53 that made its entire name off of objectifying women is all of a sudden like, yo, we're woke. You get out ahead of it, man. And it's actually, she's the perfect person to do it with. Technically, they're objectifying... Trans woman? woman a woman they're still about that life yeah they're just
Starting point is 00:17:10 opening up the scope i actually like that it's like a pimp going all right i've been pimping women too long i gotta pimp some men we're not gonna stop pimping out here this is so progressive i guess yeah it is interesting i just it's like the decent version of being progressive because all right damn i'm gonna get killed but you know like plus size models to try to be nobody know who you are i don't three uh three dms that's a kill so um you know plus size models they like opened up models to include them yeah Yeah. And I think that's just too progressive. It's like, this is less progressive.
Starting point is 00:17:54 So this is actually like decent progression. This is the right amount of progress. Yes. Because she still has the body of the clothes that you should aspire to have. Boom. And if all models are here for is to get you to wear the clothes. You guys said you would still hit.
Starting point is 00:18:10 So it's like, yo, that is an interesting thing. A model's job is just to look good in the clothes. It's really not to have a dick or a pussy or titties. It's literally to look good in the clothes. So if this bitch looks good in clothes, she's doing a job. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Once we can have robot models, we're going to have robot models. 100%. Why do you want to deal with these fucking retards? You know what I mean? If you could just have robot models, we're going to have robot models. 100%. Why do you want to deal with these fucking retards? You know what I mean? If you could just have a robot to it. What do we have? Mannequins at the store.
Starting point is 00:18:31 Back in the day, they probably paid some bitches to stand there. And they're like, I don't want to do this no more. So they got the mannequins. Because literally, being a model is the closest you could be to a mannequin. And they got those bot influencers. What's that? It's like AI influencer It's like
Starting point is 00:18:46 You've seen it right? Yeah I follow one of them It's kind of weird You would follow one of them Wait wait wait So it's a fake Oh no it's a Japanese thing right? They like created a fake person
Starting point is 00:18:56 Yeah They give them a social media Yeah And they operate as a real person on social media But they're not real Yeah there's like a team of people That update for the person I forget the one I follow I can find it but like she's now like releasing music
Starting point is 00:19:08 really and they have like ghost writers and like ghost musicians like that's wild but the person doesn't exist i mean that's the future that's definitely what's gonna happen do you think this is gonna be bad for trans women dude it's all is that video al i can't i'm getting distracted i actually looked up because i was like what are trans people saying about this like what do they think and apparently there was like like the one distracted. I actually looked up because I was like, what are trans people saying about this? Like, what do they think? And apparently there was like, like the one trans thread I found on like this forum was like not really into it.
Starting point is 00:19:30 Why? Because they said that one, it is like increasing gender dysphoria amongst trans people because they were like, like, because like this is the exception.
Starting point is 00:19:39 Most trans people don't look like this is what they were saying. Trans people never had beauty standards to aspire to. And the problem women say with these like victoria's secret etc it sets unrealistic body images that i have to like try to get if you're trans this is super unrealistic yeah yo this is the most this is more unrealistic than them victoria's secret bitches are to women yes because those victoria's secret girls if you a woman, you can get there in terms of body shape. Maybe you just diet, eat right, work out.
Starting point is 00:20:09 The genetics to overcome are way easier to overcome than this. Imagine you're a girl with a beard like you, and then you gotta be that? That's the expectation? Nah. This requires hundreds of thousands of dollars. That's a good question. Are people with beards trans?
Starting point is 00:20:23 Or do they just go gay? If you're trans, do you look in the mirror and be like nah i think i'm gay like i don't think i could get to train like you know like when you're a basketball player you look at your skill level like i could play in europe i ain't gonna make the league though right like i wonder i wonder if like somebody's like Greek, you know, like or Armenian trans, like just mad hair everywhere. Yeah, that's so funny. I wonder if they're just like, I think I got to call it gay because I'm not going to make it to trans with all the facial hair and everything.
Starting point is 00:20:58 Yo. Does that make sense? I kind of does. Like they have a massive thing to overcome. Right. I assume once you Stop taking the testosterone shit Though that's like
Starting point is 00:21:07 Easier to overcome Well I need to start Taking that shit Because my facial hair Is looking shady at best Both of y'all That female voice Was too good
Starting point is 00:21:16 Yo but now Your fucking facial hair Is amazing You have this incredible beard Beautiful lips And nose And eyes Like an Indian masvidal
Starting point is 00:21:25 yo you give me masvidal's ass i shut the game down yo we were watching a fight right yeah while my girl thought i was editing and we're at the studio watching the fight while my girl thought i was at it and this dude got in the ring we're like man he cut 20 pounds of fucking weight right you guys don't know what we're talking about. Jorge Masvidal fought Kamaru Usman for the, I believe it's welterweight title. The weight divisions are different in UFC and boxing. And he had to cut 20 pounds. Went to 190 to 170 to make weight.
Starting point is 00:21:58 And he went in the ring and he had the fatty, bro. That Eddie Murphy. He had that he hauled a donkey bro that donkey you know what i'm saying oh gosh yo i know what you're saying dog dude that backyard brawl did he have the volkswagen son he did he had the Volkswagen? Son, he did. He had the fucking Yukon Denali back there, bro. Ain't no Volkswagen Beetle. My girl was out there with it.
Starting point is 00:22:35 Damn, man. What happened? I don't know, man. I don't know if I should share this shit, but I think I should share it. We can cut it. Nah, damn, bro. All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second. Get them dicks hard. If you are new to this podcast, then let me tell you how things work over here.
Starting point is 00:22:54 The dicks on this podcast are serious. We got some serious hard dicks, okay? All different lengths and sizes, but the stiffness i would say is equal oh undisputed undisputed amount of stiffness provided by none other than blue chew blue chew i mean simple as that same active ingredients as in cialis viagra all that kind of stuff you pop it give your girl the night of her life you know ladies if your boyfriend is not watching or not listening to this podcast just yet Just tell him To check this out
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Starting point is 00:23:58 Bluechew.com Promo code flagrant Go do it right now Let's get back to the show So I'm looking for a ring for my girl Obviously right Yep This bitch is gonna break up with me Promo code FLAYRANT. Go do it right now. Let's get back to the show. So I'm looking for a ring for my girl, obviously, right? Right, yep. This bitch is going to break up with me without even knowing what the fuck I'm doing.
Starting point is 00:24:11 Wait, what? Because I'm lying around crazy to fucking learn about this ring. I got to make up all these lies about doctor's appointments I'm not going to and different shit. I got meetings. Oh, I got to go meet Mark at this. You know what I mean? I got to go this with Alex. I'm really going to this diamond shit i had to make up a show that i had a show and i had to travel
Starting point is 00:24:28 to dc because i got the ring in dc from uh yeah i was through the asshole that hooked me up yeah you don't bother me though my girl was just like okay i was like bitch you don't care i'm leaving for two days the fuck is this she wouldn't care but my point is i feel bad i'm lying to her and she can kind of tell i'm lying a bit and then my dumb ass goes into this fucking is a fancy ass diamond place and they give you a little like um uh barcode thing to get into the building that you have to press on the conveyor belt thing not conveyor belt what is it turnstile my dumb ass just leaves that shit at the fucking table when i get back home not thinking it's gonna have the name of the fucking company where i'm going to so then she saw that so now we're not breaking up no more, but we weren't really going to break up.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Yeah. But it was like, she, she knows at this point she knows it's a thing, but that's what I think. It's like, I don't think we should be surprised at him. It's too much risk.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Yeah. Yeah. Like I truly believe that like you, bro. No, like for real, like think about the risk. You weren't concerned.
Starting point is 00:25:20 Like you were doing some behind her back shit. Nah, man. It felt great. I love, I love lying to her and knowing, concerned like you were doing some behind her back shit nah man it felt great i love i love lying to her and knowing and knowing she can't really be mad at me when she finds out like what's the worst case scenario we get married bitch all right i'm lying to you positively what if in the media in like the intermediate time right she like starts sucking this guy's dick
Starting point is 00:25:40 like what the fuck dude like you know it's your concern no but like it's your concern you know you know what i mean she thinks you're cheating because you're out there in dc doing these shows not my concern you know what i mean at all it's not your no she's like oh well he's just gonna go dc well i'm just gonna go start sucking other guys dicks no you never thought that never crossed your mind never i was so comfortable with it heard now literally the the concern is holding a lie and i have this really transparent relationship i have this really transparent relationship with my girl where like i don't really need a lie about shit because i don't do any fuck shit right Right. Right. I remember back in the day.
Starting point is 00:26:25 When you're like dating. You know. Other girls and stuff like that. And you're like looking at other girls shit. And you're getting DM's. That kind of stuff like that. But I don't do that with her. So that's the easiest thing.
Starting point is 00:26:33 I never got. I leave my phone around. She's got my password. I could give a fuck. But now I'm holding a little secret. And it feels weird. Does that make sense? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Your psyche changes a little bit. My actual only concern was that she would find out. And it ruin the surprise i don't care about that was it that's all i worried about and then she ended up finding my ring receipt too so i was like all right well oh she's gonna find the receipt yeah i'm gonna leave the receipt in the box it's gonna open the box and it's gonna say the receipt and then she's gonna have to move that out the way to get the ring you got one yet say again no but when i do she's gonna know That's why I always ask her how much the tip is at the restaurant We go out to dinner We get the bill
Starting point is 00:27:09 I go, babe, how much do I tip for this? That's great I know how to tip I tip when she's not there But when that shit is like $40, I don't ask her how much the tip is But when it's like $200, babe, what's the 20% of $200 that I spent on dinner? You know what I'm saying? You gotta know the effort.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Are you concerned about something, Alka? No, no. I was thinking about how, I was wondering if I should say this. Sometimes I'll say dollar amounts and my girl will be like, is that a lot of money? And I'm like,
Starting point is 00:27:36 did you forget how money works? Nah, sometimes. Since you've been with me? You know how like we need to take Americans and then send them to live somewhere else in the world so they can see what they got here? I truly believe that we need to do that with women, but to live somewhere else in the world so they can see what they got here. I truly believe that we need to do that
Starting point is 00:27:46 with women but like with spending money. Oh yeah. They just spend money for the whole week and it only comes out of their bank account. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:52 That'd be so bad. And then they just go oh this is real out here. It gets real out here bro. Oh man. You know what I'm saying guys? Oh yeah. It's her birthday coming up too.
Starting point is 00:28:02 I'm going to tell you something. Are you going to get her anything? Yeah man. What you going to get her? That's like her that's like the most important day for her is her birthday coming up, too. I'm going to tell you something. Are you going to get her anything? Yeah, man. What are you going to get her? That's like the most important day for her is her birthday. I didn't know women cared about birthdays. I stopped caring 14.
Starting point is 00:28:15 Women care about birthdays, yo. Did you just start dating women? Yes. It's my first girlfriend. I was mass surprised. I picked a fight on her birthday, and she was like, I can't believe you. I was like, I don't give a fuck. If it's your birthday, girl, I'm up.
Starting point is 00:28:27 And then I talk to more women. They're like, you're a monster. Yeah. They do a whole week for their birthday. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Narcissist.
Starting point is 00:28:36 Spent a whole week on your birthday. That's crazy, right? It's one day. It's one day. I'm going to spend you a month. Though I will say this, though. If your mother was in labor for more than 24 hours, I think you should get two days. I think your birthday should be two days.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Take that in. Dumb as shit, I've never heard. Your mom should really be the one getting celebrated on your birthday. Puss a little more. Think I want to be in here half puss, half not? Do you know what I'm saying? Do you really think I want this? I'm sitting here like an acorn. Wait, you think being in labor means your head is sticking out huh you think being in labor
Starting point is 00:29:11 means your head is sticking up yeah what do you mean you could like be in the process of labor but the baby hasn't crowned yet so it's like it don't count yes but i'm talking about squeezing out the baby yeah that's usually quick. Your mom was in labor for like four days, huh? Just pushing out a nose. She looked like a shark fin. My nose literally sliced her pussy to her asshole wide open. It was just one gaping hole as my nose came out.
Starting point is 00:29:41 But no, for real, for real. As my nose came out. But no, for real. For real. You're telling me that most of the delivery is not squeezing the baby out? Yes. So what are these women crying about? The whole stretching part.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Dilating it? Yeah. We can't dilate that? There's no drops? No, for real. There's no drops no for real there's no drops you can just put some lemon in there or something like that you can't squeeze a lemon on it
Starting point is 00:30:10 and it opens up you can't just go like that with a lemon like you take the lemon that got the mesh on it so no seeds get inside oh yeah that's more you know what I'm saying
Starting point is 00:30:18 and then you just squeeze it on the pussy lips and the pussy lips just start opening up yeah like a penis fly trap that's it why are we waiting to dilate when you got citrus just squeeze the lemon and the pussy lips just start opening up. Yeah. Like a penis fly trap. That's it.
Starting point is 00:30:27 Why are we waiting to dilate when you got citrus? Just squeeze the lemon on that pussy. No, for real. That's a vitamin C for that pussy? That's a vitamin C. I mean that. So then, so what you're saying is most of the labor is her just breathing, doing that shit. Why we gotta teach women how to breathe, bro? What're saying is most of the labor is her just breathing, doing that shit.
Starting point is 00:30:45 Yeah. Why we got to teach women how to breathe, bro? What the fuck is going on? You know what I'm saying? You got a whole class about breathing. This birth shit is a racket, ain't it? It's a racket. Yo, you got classes on breathing.
Starting point is 00:30:58 You go to a class and some dude that never gave birth ever is like, okay, this is how you breathe. In with the air, out with the air we'll see you next tuesday get the fuck out of here like i'm going to that shit llamas class i ain't going to no llamas class it's like we've been giving birth for millions of years yeah all the time and all of a sudden now we need like classes on how to give birth come on bro no one taught you how to shit no one taught you how to shit akash no you you how to shit, Akash. I think you did get taught how to shit. No, you don't. I was shitting in my diapers before anybody helped me.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Thank you. But the wiping part. What? The wiping part. Yeah, but that's, you do it. It's toilet training. It's not. Why don't you just grab paper and do it yourself?
Starting point is 00:31:39 I'm going to be honest with you right now. No one ever trained me how to wipe. I'm dead ass. I learned that myself I believe it Tell him why Tell him why Son he has streaks
Starting point is 00:31:56 I always have streaks When I shit I don't shit down I come with such velocity My asshole I have a hemorrhoid. So the hemorrhoid is at the front of my asshole. So it actually tweaks the colon. Oh, it's a rapid. Yeah, it comes out like that.
Starting point is 00:32:13 It's a rapid. It's a rapid. Like a slide in a water park. It's a slide in a water park. 100%. It's like when you wash a spoon in the sink. Exactly. Yes.
Starting point is 00:32:22 That's what it is. So that being said, nobody ever taught me that i never learned a lot of things and i worked out just fine look you're still struggling with shit to this day you know what that's true exactly but i have multiple shits a day and they're effective all right you got it i'm just saying Do you think you could give birth, Argosh? No. No.
Starting point is 00:32:47 That's women's work. But do you think you could? That's like the most never. If push came to shove. No. That's the one thing they can do that we can't. It's the one. No, I don't do that shit.
Starting point is 00:32:56 You think you could do birth, Al? I've had some. That's because you've been fucked so much, your ass holds super wide open. I've had some bad shits before that was very close to childbirth. You think you could give birth, Mark? I mean, no. Can you imagine a nine-pound shit? Say what?
Starting point is 00:33:09 Can you imagine a nine-pound shit? I've shit nine pounds. Yes, I've come close to that. You've never had it where it just keeps spiraling and shit like that? I've shit my height in a day, guaranteed. Like, if you stretch it all out straight, it would be my height. I don't think I could give birth. I wouldn't want to, but it seems like you probably just wouldn't be able able to figure it out right like you just your body would be like yeah i mean
Starting point is 00:33:29 yeah autopilot you're not gonna leave it in there that's what i'm saying jesus takes a wheel and you just fucking let it rip yeah let jesus do it now moms deserve all the credit women who don't have kids whatever y'all hanging out but mom's mom's who the fuck is this guy first he's blowing trannies in the beginning of the podcast. I'm a mama's boy. You know this about me. You know what I'm saying? This guy loves trannies, bro. Who don't?
Starting point is 00:33:50 Yeah, you're right. No, no. I'm with you on that. Giving birth is unbelievable. I'm a mama's boy, so I always look at women like, if you don't have kids and you're a feminist, I'm like, what's so hard about this? You're just hanging out. Once you had kids, you done been through it.
Starting point is 00:34:03 Yeah. You done went to war. She's chilling. My little baby right there. Anyway, what else we got going on, man? We got a lot of shit. Should we talk about the Will and Jada thing? You guys watched the Red Table Talk?
Starting point is 00:34:12 No, I got a question about the Will and Jada thing. This is quite interesting. Flip the roles. Flip the roles. Let's say Will Fucks Jaden's friend That's a girl That's 23 years old
Starting point is 00:34:29 Jaden Who they helped Jaden Because Jaden is the Jaden is the kid Yeah And this guy
Starting point is 00:34:37 What's his name August Alsina August Alsina Was Jaden's friend That's how Jaden met him And they helped him Through a drug problem Like he came to you broken imagine
Starting point is 00:34:46 a girl came to will's family like broken one of willow's friends one of will or jayden's friend don't matter but like young will uses his power and influence to take advantage of her dates her i think we're having a completely different conversation about that. Now Jada uses her power and influence. The kid literally was a drug act or some shit, right? Use her power and influence manipulates potentially this kid. And she is the queen of the internet. She's future.
Starting point is 00:35:17 She's all these different memes about what a bad-ass entanglement is a new hashtag. Every all I'm, I'm, I'm not cheating. I just got an entanglement, all this kind of shit. It is very interesting to see women not be as, let's say, protective of August Alsina as they might be some chick.
Starting point is 00:35:34 Who was super in love with her. He's still heartbroken. Still heartbroken. Because she took him broken. Yeah. Manipulated him. Still not over it. Now, that being said, I think he's a grown ass man.
Starting point is 00:35:44 He got to figure that shit out himself boom I'm just saying the energy would be totally different don't you guys think if it was Will Smith that did that to one of Jaden's female friends
Starting point is 00:35:51 very valid point right yes yes yeah right 100% but he was
Starting point is 00:35:57 how old was he 25 23 23 no look over 18 you're a grown up you gotta figure that shit out
Starting point is 00:36:04 like if we could send you to war we could send you to Smith's house but what would the public perception be the public perception if Will did it what would all these ugly girls with short hair on the internet say what would the short haired
Starting point is 00:36:12 ugly girls that have their hair dyed blonde or not blonde red what would they say and they have no upper lip usually it's purple purple
Starting point is 00:36:19 whatever what would those girls say yeah they would call them a monster they got all the opinions about relationships they've never been in don't they right like it's crazy bro like damn that's so foul why couldn't that be me 100 it is an interesting energy i hated watching this shit yo i couldn't jada's so phony to me now my question i had both are to me huh they both are
Starting point is 00:36:44 you think they're phony? Son, it was like. I think Will didn't want to be there at all. Oh, absolutely. Then she sat him down and then she said the entanglement shit. I had the entanglement with August and Will was like, entanglement? She's like, yeah. And then he said, you cheated essentially.
Starting point is 00:36:57 And she goes, that's what I said. No, bitch, it's not at all what you said. He said you had a relationship. Yeah. She said, that's what I said. No, bitch, that's not what you said at all. This is the fakest bitch on the internet. Whoa. the fakest bitch on the internet whoa the fakest bitch on the internet talk your entire platform is being honest real talk helping other people and then she says in
Starting point is 00:37:15 this thing i think one thing she says it's a lie and we have to fact check this but she said i didn't talk to him for four years i think he was on red table talk like a year ago talking about addiction but anyway even if that's not true, she says, this was very healing for me to go through this and I learned a lot about myself. Which first of all is,
Starting point is 00:37:31 if any guy said that again, it would be like, get the fuck out of here. You're just a cheater. Yo, I needed to heal by fucking 23 years old. Yes, 100%. Hey, when I cheated on you
Starting point is 00:37:38 with that 18 year old, I was healing. I was learning about myself. Listen, I got my dick sucked, right, in a Bennigan's, but I was healing when I did that. myself. Listen, I got my dick suck, right? In a Bennigan's, but I was healing when I did that. You have to understand when the waitress was sucking my dick in the bathroom of a Bennigan's, it was healing for me.
Starting point is 00:37:52 The awesome blossom sauce on my dick. Awesome blossom sauce. Really, really had a meditative effect. And babe, the meal was about a hundred dollars. How much I tip on this shit? You already tipped, bro.
Starting point is 00:38:07 But for real, though. Here's my point. Your show's about honesty and healing. If this was healing for you, you could have very easily shared it throughout this entire process of filming this series. What, two years it's been on? And you had Will on
Starting point is 00:38:19 talking about relationship difficulties before, but you never shared it. Why? Because you always needed to be put together, perfect Jada, and you're not. You're a fucking phony. And if you were honest, you would help a lot more people, but you don't give a fuck about helping people.
Starting point is 00:38:32 You give a fuck about looking perfect. Oh, shit. Fuck you, bitch. And Will, too, if it's an open relationship, I'm gonna be honest, I think she just made him do that shit and was like, alright, let me give her a career to shut her ass up. Yo, Mark says something interesting once, one time,
Starting point is 00:38:46 about open relationships. No, I thought this was really interesting. People always go when like a famous guy and his wife have an open relationship, right?
Starting point is 00:38:56 Yeah. People are always like, nah, it's okay, they have an open relationship. She's okay with it, they have an open relationship. Right.
Starting point is 00:39:02 No, they have an open relationship and then Mark goes once, you think if he was like, hey, we should not have an open relationship anymore. She'd be like, damn. You know what I'm saying? You don't want that.
Starting point is 00:39:14 Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You want. Now, I don't know about the Smiths per se, because apparently from what I've heard, they're both out there just getting cracked and cracking cheeks. Right. Like, I think Will's doing him. We've been hearing that for 15 years.
Starting point is 00:39:24 Yeah. Will's doing him. He just looks like a c hearing that for 15 years. Yeah, Will's doing him. He just looks like a cuck because we don't know about his business because he knows how to handle his side pieces. So is this the most, like, the savviest move for him is to come on and look like the good guy? Like, the most alpha move is actually like, all right, let me come on. Let me do this thing. Look like a good guy.
Starting point is 00:39:38 And then I'm going to go fuck whoever. Yo, real talk. Attention is currency now. He missed the 4th of July. Everybody's talking about them. That's what they want. Listen, listen. There is maybe some fundamental differences between the Smith family and the Kardashian family.
Starting point is 00:39:55 We spoke about this a long time ago with the Kardashians coming for the – sorry, the Smiths coming for the Kardashians. They want to be the first family of the internet or the first family of America right and they're going about it from what we see as like a way more in a way more like positive direction right it might be phony like you're saying but at least it is a show about healing let's get better empowerment let's have this great family dynamic let's do things that we need to do to feed our soul etc right they're like if you add in some like Oprah elements you know what I mean like and that being said they wouldn't do it in front of the camera they didn't want attention for it so they are monetizing this are they monetizing the positivity behind it sure at the end of the day who gives a
Starting point is 00:40:36 fuck if you get more out of it that's fine it is interesting to see though that even through tragedy you will get matter of, you get even more clout and more attention in tragedy. I wonder what happens next with them when they go, oh, we were really popping when there was some drama. We're not really popping when we're getting people over their pill addiction. But when we got some fucked up shit going on in the family,
Starting point is 00:41:00 everybody was watching. Hey, Jaden, you might want to go public about that little drug addiction you got. Hey, Willow, you might want to go public about that little drug addiction you got. Hey, Willow, you might want to go public about that older boyfriend you got. I wonder if they tasted. Are these real rumors? No, no, I'm making things up. I wonder if they get a little taste of the dark side, the dark force.
Starting point is 00:41:17 They get a little taste of that Kardashian fame. Right, but you know in Star Wars how the force. Oh, yeah, the dark side. The dark side, you're like, ooh, that shit's tasty. The black Spider-Man outfit, you're like, ooh, this power feels good right i wonder if they get a taste if they start leaning in when it makes sense like this was the most viewed facebook video i think of like all time like in terms of like velocity they're not going back these say what you want about these people and by these people i mean entertainers, but specifically the Smith family.
Starting point is 00:41:47 If you're in entertainment, you have some sort of addiction to attention. Yeah. You know what I mean? Ourselves included. We're in this. Once you get that taste, it takes unreal discipline to not lean into it. Yeah. It's one of the things I think that we're actually exceptional at this, if we can toot our own horn here. We know that we can have a porn star on this show every single week, and it's going to the things I think that we're we're actually exceptional at this if we can toot our own horn here
Starting point is 00:42:05 we know that we can have a porn star on this show every single week and it's gonna do insane views but we haven't we specifically talk about the things we wanna talk about
Starting point is 00:42:12 and how we wanna talk about them we shun money if it doesn't go against it we really kept our integrity it's hard for motherfuckers to do that it's hard to especially when your movies
Starting point is 00:42:21 are flopping Will hasn't had a hit in a minute bro it's been a long ass. I don't think Jada ever had a hit. I don't even know what she does. Jada's hit was Will. Jada's hit was Will, real talk.
Starting point is 00:42:32 She's had a lot of classic movies. Ain't nobody watch Woo except me. And only for Tommy Davidson. She's had movies, but she hasn't had a hit. What's your lowdown dirty shame? She hasn't had a huge hit recently, I would say. My homie said it well. If it wasn't for Will, you would just be that girl who was on a different world for a couple of seasons.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Wow. I don't think so. What was she doing before that? I don't think so. Fuck. That's her credit is Will. She was in Madagascar. After Will.
Starting point is 00:43:00 Oh, we're talking about only after Will? Just talk before Will. What was her hits? What year was that where she got with Will? Late 90s. Okay, so everything prior to 98 was... Different world, low down dirty shame. The nutty professor.
Starting point is 00:43:12 The nutty professor. I think that was after Will too, I think. Oh, no, maybe it was... Menace to society. There's no question like having an incredibly powerful and famous husband is going to help you with your career. Yeah. Right?
Starting point is 00:43:21 Hillary Clinton. That being said, you could also do things that are great and she did things prior to him etc the thing is are they going to be able to take a taste of this and turn it down i i don't know i'm not sure i think so to an extent i think uh my interpretation of this is that they just love to control the narrative the reason why they came to the table is because the narrative was getting out of their hands that they just love to control the narrative the reason why they came to the table is because the narrative was getting out of their hands like they're nice because they lied about it yeah they lied about the narrative though yeah but i hear but i hear what you're saying i
Starting point is 00:43:53 think you're on it keep so this is because we've never really seen will do this will doesn't have to address any rumors about him he's always just stayed people call will gay for fucking decades never addressed it yeah but this one is like yo okay now it's affecting home it's affecting uh the kids most likely and shit like that like and there's so much attention and shit is a little dry right now we can spin this in a way where we come out on top it's a learning what's it called like i'm learning moment or some shit like that put this out whereas i'm pretty sure she got the fucking whoever tristan thompson cheated on with the jordan whatever she got that bitch on faster and she put out her own thing do you think it affects movie rules for him if he looks like a bitch if he looks like he's like simping for jada
Starting point is 00:44:34 it's interesting he can't be a leading man like you know how they like blackball like gay dudes from being leading men yep like i don't think so because at the end of the day people are still clapping like oh he's he did the right thing Jada made this little mishap and he came to the table as a man and like there was one line where Will said I'm gonna get you back
Starting point is 00:44:56 and Jada was like you did, you did plenty that's his way of saving his manhood within the crafted statement you watched the whole thing? it's 12 minutes I watched the whole long? It's 12 minutes. It's 12 minutes. I watched the whole long one.
Starting point is 00:45:07 I'm a gay. There's way... 40 minutes I already watched one. I can't get 12 more to refute the 40 minutes? There's way more to this story. Like, way more to this story. Yeah. Because in the beginning
Starting point is 00:45:16 they talk about like, oh, we were at the point of not even knowing if we were going to speak again. And the public didn't know about this. And that was her spin is we were separated. August didn't ask for your permission because he didn't know about this. And that was her spin, is we were separated.
Starting point is 00:45:26 August didn't ask for your permission because he didn't need your permission. We were separated. That's her, I did okay. So August lied about permission. Yeah, which is, he would tell the truth about the affair, but lie about getting permission? That seems weird to me. No, but then she addressed that too.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Because she said, so when they first, I guess, started to fuck or whatever the case was, Will wasn't even in the picture. But then Will started to come back into the picture. So they had a talk just to like, you know, like, we're cool, whatever the case is. Because she did address that. Like, she can see how he might have took it as asking for permission. But it was really just on some, let's just clear the air so shit isn't weird around here. I don't believe that either.
Starting point is 00:46:04 Nobody asked Jaden. Jaden. Jaden. Ask his permission, yo. some let's just clear the air so shit isn't weird around here i don't believe that either nobody asked jayden jayden jayden ask his permission yo i actually smoke i believe i believe everything august said really yeah why would he lie outside of promoting the album i mean that's a big reason why yo what's weird is that i haven't heard a single song off this fucking album has anyone listened to that one no is that shit good i good? I don't know. They redirected, I mean, he must have written a song. You gotta give her some bars. Here's what I would say, though. From what I thought, my perception of
Starting point is 00:46:31 August Alsina, is I would see his name and I'd be like, yo, I think this guy puts out good music. I remember liking some of it before, but he hadn't cracked off. Why does nobody know who he is? Now we know who he is. This seemed like the missing element was attention, and then here you go. Imagine your claim to fame was fucking a 50-year-old woman. It's also Will Smith's wife.
Starting point is 00:46:48 You snatched up Will Smith's wife. That's different. She is stunning for her age. Her mom is gorgeous. You've seen David's mom?
Starting point is 00:46:55 That's why it's like there's plenty of points for that. And it's Will's wife. You took Will Smith's wife. He didn't take Will Smith's wife. That's what the narrative
Starting point is 00:47:04 is saying. Will Smith and his wife were broken up and then i think started dating him i think that part i don't know if that part is true i think my interpretation of what he said the first time is we had they have an open relationship will was cool with it and then they the smiths were like all right how do we spin this we don't want this open relationship shit out there public that's so how do we spin this? That's right. Either that or she cheated while they were separated and she filed for that. How much, how much do you think this had to deal with
Starting point is 00:47:30 both of her kids now being out of the house, having their own independent lives and like being adults and her wanting to like nurture and take care of something like
Starting point is 00:47:40 empty nest syndrome I think it's called. How much do you think it was that? I don't know. But this is four years ago. I think they were still in the house at that age there's one it's four years four years ago i don't think it was still in in the grip they were the nest wasn't the thing that was empty i don't know i think she i'm just i'm just saying like and they speak about their house they can be in the same house and not see each other like she'd be at this end of the house right at that end so i just feel like i don't know i just feel like it's it's really tricky for for moms when they
Starting point is 00:48:10 go from like their entire life like sustaining a child and like raising a child and keeping that child alive and all of a sudden that child is gone it's like all this purpose is removed she wasn't happy before not questioning happiness yeah what happened is but a child can distract you from your unhappiness because it is something to do every single second of every single day it's often why people who are unhappy have kids they're in bad relationships they're like hey let's have a kid maybe this kid will save our relationship very common and it creates tons of problems but you can ignore the problems when you're focused on keeping this fucking thing alive
Starting point is 00:48:42 yeah and i wonder if dating the younger guy who needed a lot of like emotional coaching and like nurturing was the perfect relationship in the same way that like like i look at gay dudes and i'm like man you guys got the fucking best relationship right because it's just you guys like sports and shit everything you like is the same and you've like fucking each other it's just the best right it's just the best it's the ideal since like my girl wants to watch cooking shows all day some gay guy not gonna do that he gonna put on a fucking redskins game well not redskins anymore but you know what i mean yeah so it's like maybe that's the ideal relationship for her she's like i get to get cracked out by this thing and raise it like i wonder if on some level she's like this is perfect i have empty nest this thing is gonna
Starting point is 00:49:26 fill the nest and i get to nurture as well even if her kids live with her they're very independent and there is a part of her i think that's broken my homie said it well because he was like i dated a girl like that where like they present themselves like strong black blah blah blah independent don't need nothing those girls are usually the most broken so if you're broken you know what can help you feel better? It's fixing somebody else. That can give you some purpose. I wonder if we want to bail out Jade even more. She wants to help him and nurture him.
Starting point is 00:49:50 I'm not bailing this bitch out at all. I'm saying if we wanted to, she wants to help someone. She wants to nurture something. And then it's August that's like, yo, she's being really nice to me. And she's really making me feel important. Yeah. He's the one that's like, yo, are we fucking? Yeah, that's really what it is 100% failing she was looked at him just like a little toy and then she cut him off and
Starting point is 00:50:10 then that's when he started making music about her because like in his previous album he had a song about their relationship coded though he didn't say his her name or whatever right and that shit didn't hit so he was like no i'm coming out call it back came out a while ago i thought and then i still we should fact check this but again I think she was on his fucking he was on her show last year so she says
Starting point is 00:50:28 at the beginning we haven't talked in four years no no they're making tons of shit and this whole shit was edited you can see some cuts
Starting point is 00:50:35 and shit like that so it's definitely it was longer I don't trust none of these I can help you I'm on TV motherfuckers I don't trust Dr. Phil Oprah ain't shit
Starting point is 00:50:43 I've been saying that Jada's just a new Oprah to me. I'd die on both these hills. Hey, fuck both y'all. Wait a minute. Are you talking fuck Will Smith? No. Hey, you all right, bro.
Starting point is 00:50:53 I don't think you want to be there. All right, guys. Right now, some of you might be listening to this on your saggy-ass mattress. It's trash. Okay? Falling apart. Not even sleeping well.
Starting point is 00:51:03 Back's probably all crooked. Okay? There is a mattress company that I'm going to make you guys aware of right now, Helix. okay, falling apart, not even sleeping well, back's probably all crooked, okay? There is a mattress company that I'm going to make you guys aware of right now, Helix, okay? First of all, they make mattresses with sex in mind. I mean, that's perfect. All these people, you get the foam mattress. You ever had only foam? Bruh, you're just sinking into it.
Starting point is 00:51:22 There's no bounce back. It's terrible. You got to be able to bounce back. Yeah. I like girl back that's my thing i like laying down letting the girl ride then every once in a while i hit her with that popcorn bang pat pat you didn't even see it no so fast so fast pat bang look at that cookie wide awake because you know you've heard it you've been in the room in your bed when i got busy all i'm trying to say is Helix designs the bed with springs and foam. You get the comfort of the foam and the spring. With the bounce back.
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Starting point is 00:52:11 10 years. Huge. 10-year warranty? You got to be crazy. You could try it out for 100 nights risk-free. They'll even pick it up for you if you don't love it. Dog, you got to try it. You have nothing to lose.
Starting point is 00:52:21 You have essentially a free mattress. They will pick the fucking thing up for you if you don't like the mattress. You might as well just try it. If you don't like it, they come try it. You have nothing to lose. You have essentially a free mattress. They will pick the fucking thing up for you. If you don't like the mattress, you might as well just try it. If you don't like it, they come snatch it. Three months free is crazy. Bro, what else are you doing? You're at home right now. You're in fucking Corona times.
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Starting point is 00:52:54 The most important thing you can do is sleep. Get a good night of sleep. And we all make all this money to get more pleasure. Have better sex. Have better sex. Get better sleep. Bro, you spent a third of your life where? On a mattress.
Starting point is 00:53:03 Thank you. Go get it. Helix.com slash flagrant. Let's get back to the show. Let's transition a little bit here. Back to the swimsuits? No. The Redskins have said they're going to change their logo.
Starting point is 00:53:16 Yeah. Logo or team name? Both. Yeah, team name. Team mascot, logo, everything changing. Okay. Does it still reflect Native Americans? I think the money is on them going to Washington Warriors. I think they've already trademarked the name.
Starting point is 00:53:29 So it's still a Native American. And Native Americans have a problem with that. Can I say something? Okay, go. So they said they wanted to change the name to something that honored Native Americans. Yeah. And whoever speaks for Native Americans,
Starting point is 00:53:41 they're like, nah, we don't want anything to do with the team at all. Because it's like it mixes. i forgot the word they use like it's like hey you can say negative things about this team like i hate the blank right so i i spoke to a bunch of native americans about this right because a lot of them dm me yeah and i was like yo so what's the deal and they were like when we see the mascots i think we spoke about it maybe on patreon right yeah and it was like when we see the the logos we look at it kind of in the same way like black people look at blackface in terms of the the sambo character yeah where it's this like cartoonish version of us
Starting point is 00:54:14 cleveland indians one for sure i can cleveland indians one is the most absurd one now you know he's like i'm sure there's certain ones that aren't cartoonish and then we actually like that we're like oh that's sick that kind of like reflects my ancestry that kind of stuff is fine so it's a case-by-case basis but um like you said the black hawks the black hawk tribe gave permission to chicago right i think the seminoles gave permission as well so there's certain people give from or certain drives give permission but it's interesting thing with the um the the redskin specifically because like and i've been thinking about this a lot this week you know that the colonizers must have felt they were fighting with unfair tactics
Starting point is 00:54:54 if you're gonna give credit to the native americans and name a lot of shit after them does that make sense yes yeah because like like, yeah, it's like, if you had a tough fight with somebody, it's fucked them forever. Like, it's fucked Nazis forever. It's fucked, like anybody that you beef with, like Armenia and like Turkey,
Starting point is 00:55:14 it's fucked each other forever. Greece and Turkey, it's fucked each other forever. Ain't no, hey, we got to name some shit after, you know, these Greek guys because they're pretty good at fighting. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:24 It's a fair fight. Fuck them. or something right something's handing out blankets to give them diseases as gifts you're like yeah i don't know how much of that is true i i read about that like that wasn't just a general point yeah you're fighting unfairly you might feel a little bit like i was kind of i think the unfair amount of fighting was technological so like i think like when you have guns and these motherfuckers are throwing bow and arrows and they're still putting up a good fight you're like all right man you got to give it up to them like they're warriors they're warriors exactly i would say like england like america's fight for independence we still have new york we still have like english street english town like there's all this british shit here
Starting point is 00:56:03 and i don't think the revolutionary war was like easy. You know what I mean? Yeah. But, oh yeah. Okay. But then that kind of, yeah,
Starting point is 00:56:10 but that would be like if they won, if England won, that'd be like if the native Americans won. No, no, but I mean, America won. And then we still honor in a fair fight,
Starting point is 00:56:22 England by naming some of the shit after them. But it was already named. Maybe. I don't know. Yeah. Nobody renamed the shit after England. Yeah. And also, that's totally different because your ancestry is there.
Starting point is 00:56:35 So you have some connection to your family. It's like if an Italian neighborhood, you want to name a street Giuseppe Street. It's because you love Giuseppe who lives in Sicily or something like that. Right. Like you have some connection even though you fought the motherfuckers in World War II
Starting point is 00:56:46 you still got a connection natives got no connection whatsoever I don't know it's just something it's just something so odd to me like if there was
Starting point is 00:56:52 that much beef if there was that much hatred if there was that much racism there was this horrible treatment of Native Americans why the fuck we naming everything after them
Starting point is 00:57:00 like college teams high school teams professional teams streets town like you don't gotta name streets you can name a street numbers yeah most streets are named numbers yeah but they go out of the way to go manahara yeah montmont talk all these different places like it's not like we haven't renamed shit matter of fact native americans they owned everything and we named a lot of it this is is called Fifth Avenue.
Starting point is 00:57:25 It wasn't called Fifth Avenue back in the day. Right. So what the fuck? Something's weird, right? Why would you have so much reverence for a group of people that you treated so shitty? Does that make any sense? I mean, is it possible that the way we remember history isn't the way it actually was? So I think that is the exact truth of the matter.
Starting point is 00:57:47 So what are we missing from the historical record here? What are we missing from the historical record with Native Americans? There's a missing piece to this puzzle. If you hate and treat people so horribly like we did, you don't have the same reverence to name so many things after them. It's off are you like comparing the way america acts towards native americans and then the way america acts towards african-americans no i'm just saying the way that made that america has treated native americans right is it doesn't seem consistent with how many things we name after them and things that we look up to
Starting point is 00:58:24 it's not like you're naming shit that you're like embarrassed about you're naming your team which is all your state's pride or your college team which is all your college pride but i think america feels they did right by the native americans by designating land to them and you don't have to pay taxes oh so you you think america was like oh you part of now and we think you're pretty cool so we'll just name you this shit after you I think they say we made shit right huh
Starting point is 00:58:48 again we gotta get a name there's this native guy I believe his name is Bobby I'm gonna mess up the last name but uh I'm gonna reach out to him and we'll get him on to answer some of these questions
Starting point is 00:58:57 because it is peculiar right yeah I mean would Indians just name some shit after like I was thinking it could be like oh we give them a team name so we're even so it's their donations it's like their reparations in their mind Would Indians just name some shit after like Penn State? No, I was thinking it could be like, oh, we give them a team name, so we're even.
Starting point is 00:59:07 So it's their donations. It's like their reparations in their mind. Like if you ask them, what do you think Black people deserve for slavery? They'd be like, I don't know, like a hundred bucks. Oh my God. A couple of Laffy Taffys. Hey, we're going to build this school on your native burial lands. But.
Starting point is 00:59:20 But you know what we're going to do? We're going to name it, the Chiefs is going to be Damascus. Lucky y'all. Oh shit. All good, good right we're good so it's a token performative yeah uh you know thanks yeah performative uh act of progress but it's really bullshit yeah like the casinos i well not casinos is real that's reparation they make money that's a fucking mint yeah but i mean they're not really making money off of it they could if they got the shit together knew how to do it that's on them but like giving someone the right to have a casino is like literally just a printing press can't lose i mean we're gonna make gambling legal
Starting point is 00:59:52 everywhere soon but so we'll see how long it lasts but the idea was yeah you can here you go make money is it possible navy america just called that shit the names way back in the day and that's just what everyone called it for hundreds of years? Not basketball teams. Yeah, but like the Redskins were formed in like 1940. Whatever, the Redskins. No, but I'm saying like, yeah, Redskins maybe, but like if you're in like Seminole, Florida or whatever,
Starting point is 01:00:11 and you're like, oh yeah, that's Seminole country up there. That's where the Seminole Indians are or whatever. Yeah, some of it. And then you're like Seminole, like Montauk, same thing. Like if that's like, Indians are like,
Starting point is 01:00:19 yo, this is Montauk. And then everyone's like, oh, what's that place called? Oh, it's called Montauk. Yeah, yeah, I think that's what that is. And so then when you describe like a team or something you're like oh yeah what's the team name like oh this is just what people from around some of it sure but then the Cleveland Indians the Washington Redskins the Kansas City Chiefs right like these aren't tribes it would be the Montauk swimmers or the Montauk surfers or whatever it's not the Montauk Native
Starting point is 01:00:40 Americans you got no Native Americans on the team it's just Right. Something's going on here and I think you guys might be onto it. Yeah. It's this like fake gift. It's reparations. Yeah, an interesting thing that happened, this Supreme Court ruling
Starting point is 01:00:51 that half of Oklahoma, yeah, is like considered a Native American reservation. So they can't be charged with crimes and civil situations within that area.
Starting point is 01:01:03 So basically, Native American go up, shoot you, and they can't do anything. I think there's something tricky with that. It's like they can't be charged with city or state crimes, but I think they still are under federal designation, right? Oh, maybe probably federal, yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:15 But yeah, that's true. Speeding tickets, all that kind of shit, because they have their own police. Yeah. That's wild. And I think that you could look this up to make sure, but there is something interesting. I think that Tesla has a factory there. Look this up to make sure, but there is something interesting. I think that Tesla has a factory there.
Starting point is 01:01:26 Look this up to make sure. And then someone was like, yo, Elon, how you feel about the fact that your factory is on native land now? And that might be really interesting because they could be like, yo, we're going to need a little piece of that. I think. That'd be great. I think they're making a pitch to Tesla.
Starting point is 01:01:41 They're making a pitch to Tesla to bring it. There's a guy that did that in the Dirty Money series onflix okay it's so good he's i forgot what he was but he basically like set up a company and hit up these native american chiefs they were like yo you want to be a founder and they were like oh that's brilliant what do i gotta do and he's like oh nothing i'm just gonna funnel my company through you give you a hundred thousand a year for nothing they fell for the founding trick again and get that's get yo you want to found america no it's gonna work out no it's more like you found america appreciate you your job is done it's safe but apparently that should work though or like yeah they were getting money and they were getting
Starting point is 01:02:15 crazy kickbacks and tack rebates and all that stuff that's why like you ever see dudes on the street selling hats or selling like shirts or whatever like that. There's one old dude that got a necklace with a badge on it. Yeah. And it's permission to sell. And I think it's easier to get those if you're a veteran. Right. So they're giving certain people the ability to sell things on the street. Obviously, there's so much street traffic in New York City.
Starting point is 01:02:38 Right. You know, those are very coveted. Yeah. But there's only two things you could sell that aren't that you don't need a badge for Christmas trees and books. You could just sell Christmas trees and books on the streets of New York.
Starting point is 01:02:49 But everything else, art, records, all these different things we'd see growing up watching. So what I think a lot of people do is they find a veteran and go,
Starting point is 01:02:57 yo, you want to just sit here with us? We'll do all the work. Or we'll partner up on it. And you can make money on the street. Son, if you're doing the tax thing
Starting point is 01:03:04 when Native Americans, if the idea is I don't have to pay federal tax or whatever, if a corporation gets taxed at 30% and makes $10 million, that's $3 million. Why don't I just pay you a million? Yo, I profit too. You get a million. Let's go.
Starting point is 01:03:15 Bro, literally, you could say I give you $3 million. Yeah. And it's even. Yeah. And you don't got to deal with the IRS breathing down your neck every two seconds, aud auditing you all that shit you could give them all the money just for not having a headache I even think there's subsidies
Starting point is 01:03:30 that go along with it too oh that's right because you want to build up that land if you're like a native owned company like you get government stuff you want to do black reparations black reparations take Atlanta you'd think they would give us Atlanta
Starting point is 01:03:44 nah I mean you keep on breaking shit take Atlanta son you'd think they would give us Atlanta nah exactly come on I mean if y'all keep breaking enough shit they might be like alright
Starting point is 01:03:51 the 40 acres fuck the mule just give us the land what neighborhoods do black people want go son real talk we could take
Starting point is 01:03:58 any land as long as not like Alaska some shit like that nah cause you know how picky black people are we would have the funniest cold out here.
Starting point is 01:04:05 We're everywhere. Roy would have the funniest premise. He said, what if we all took our stimulus checks as black people and just bought Montana? That's ours. Montana's, that's black land now. What do you do? See, you pick a place that most of us don't even know where it is on the map. I don't know where Montana is. Well, it can't be a place
Starting point is 01:04:21 white people want, man. You gotta negotiate. White people love Montana. That's white people's shit. It's like 12 white people want, man. You got to negotiate. White people love Montana. Don't they? They only want to see it. That's white people's shit. It's like 12 white people in Phil Jackson. This is what white people do, though. They front, because I went to Montana. What Montana does is it doesn't do any PR for Montana. They specifically want to-
Starting point is 01:04:36 Oh, they Iceland Greenland that shit. Yup. What about the Dakotas? Dakotas are trash? Yo, you could get a- South Dakota. You could get a South. South Dakota.
Starting point is 01:04:42 You could get a South. And y'all love South sides. Yo, that could be kind of lit. South Dakota. South Dakota. You could get a South. And y'all love South Sides. That's what I'm saying. Yo, that could be kind of lit. Black people go, just give us one place. We're going to build that shit up ourselves. And then you have crazy tax subsidies. You have all this other shit.
Starting point is 01:04:56 Wouldn't it be nice to have a friendly South for once? Yeah, bro. A South where you're accepted as equal. Bro, black people got to take South Dakota. Say again? We would definitely do that. Think about it. All the cuisine, the food. You could do grills. There could be such nah for real you gotta go both grills traeger and
Starting point is 01:05:11 paul wall paul wall's allowed to live there you showing your age girls ain't even in no more son girls are still in they're not in no more son come on i'm a black man yo come on i know about grills dog grills are popping. You should wear yours. You got a set, right? I do got a set. Same. I'm not used to that.
Starting point is 01:05:31 I got one on Wildin' Out and then I got one from Paul Wall. Come on, son. These grills, it is what it is. Look, but I think that is an interesting idea. Take the land
Starting point is 01:05:39 and then give the, whatever rules you are allowed to have on your land, dictate the success of that land. Son, will there be a louder state than South Dakota? Son, imagine being North Dakota. Like, yo, can you turn it down? North Dakota knocking on the fucking border wall.
Starting point is 01:05:54 Can we build a dome? They start calling all North Dakota Karen. All Dakotas matter, guys. Yo, this is fire, bro I think that's the move So forget defund the police Y'all can have your own police Oh, there you go
Starting point is 01:06:10 I'm with it I'm with it If we have land A good amount, too It's a whole state It's a Dakota Now you're getting picky, bro We don't know how big that shit is
Starting point is 01:06:21 Bro, you gotta negotiate From a position of leverage Yeah Your leverage is guilt and guilt alone. Yeah. With 13% of the population, give us a state that's 13% of the land. Nah, nah, nah, nah.
Starting point is 01:06:33 Yeah. Why not? All right, fine, but then all y'all gotta move there. Not all of us. Then no. You can give me 13% and not all y'all are moving there. All right. 10.
Starting point is 01:06:43 I like how we're America. You see how we already bullied you out of fucking three percent yeah but don't take no for an answer yeah you know but we still get this but we get to stay everywhere you know what's very realistic about this you need russell to negotiate for real now we taking it nah that's i think this is an interesting you got to get land you got to get specific rights and because the interesting thing about this is once you get your land and you could do whatever you want on it if it fails white people get to go hey you try you could yep now white people got to be willing to do to say, OK, you got it.
Starting point is 01:07:27 That's it. You fucking you fail. That is what it is. And they got to be willing to accept it when it thrives. Yes. That's the big part. And then they got back. I we fucked up.
Starting point is 01:07:35 We shouldn't have been. We're the best at doing a lot with a little. Mm hmm. So. So you don't need 13. Let's give it down. Six percent. We get a percent.
Starting point is 01:07:43 Not 10. Two percent. And we get to stay. OK., real question on behalf of black people. We only in like three states. Real question on behalf of black people. What if we just gave you all the Native American land? And we're like, yo, we try with the natives. It ain't work.
Starting point is 01:07:58 They getting real ornery about the football teams. It's starting to bother us. You can already be the Blackhawks. That's close. You know what I mean? You get to keep the casinos too? You starting to bother us. You can already be the Blackhawks. That's close. You know what I mean? You get to keep the casinos too? You get to keep everything that's there. What happens to the natives though?
Starting point is 01:08:10 Son, the lotto numbers alone, like the amount of money they make off lotto, that'd be wild. What happens to the natives? You get to have the natives, bro. You get to have them. You get to have slaves. Whatever you want to do.
Starting point is 01:08:21 You just restart America. We're going to restart America and we're going to be like, well, what would you do then? Let's see what you would have done in our situation. You really look like Hamilton on there, bro. We are real tough. Real to imagine they enslaved the natives immediately.
Starting point is 01:08:38 They got them working in fields. Rapping at all their meetings. I think we would all come together, Black. We would be like, yeah, we get it. Yeah, we get like, know They just gotta rap politics If they just rap politics we would have all We would have learned it all by now Alright what else we got Enough of this serious talk
Starting point is 01:08:56 Chance and Ye I could give a fuck about both of them So just a quick thing I just thought it was funny because Chance was Supporting Ye's run for president and people were killing him online. And then Terry Crews quote tweeted him and say like,
Starting point is 01:09:13 oh, you got your eye open and you're open minded. And then he's like quickly ran off. That's when he realized how fucking stupid he sounded supporting Kanye for president. Dumbass thing to do.
Starting point is 01:09:21 You know, and then you don't bother me. Let me say this real quick. He tries to support Ye by talking about Ye's mom. And he's like, you want me to vote bothered me? Let me say this real quick. He tries to support Ye by talking about Ye's mom and he's like, you want me to vote for Biden? Get the fuck out of here. Ye's mom has nothing to do with Ye. Ye was raised by that woman
Starting point is 01:09:31 and then married Kim Kardashian. So obviously he don't know what the fuck he's doing. What do you mean by that? Yo, if you were raised by this powerful woman, Ye posted a video of his mom reciting some woke ass KRS-One lyrics. And Chance was like, and you guys want me to vote for Biden.
Starting point is 01:09:50 S-M-H, S-M-F-H, whatever. We're not talking about Kanye's mom, who's a fucking powerful woman from what we've heard. We're talking about the Kanye who was raised by that mom and was like, hey, do I want to marry somebody like that? Not at all. Let me marry Kim Kardashian. That's the polar opposite. You're not a good decision maker as Kanye.
Starting point is 01:10:05 You were raised by the best mom. You married the worst woman. Right, right. Why is she the worst woman? What about her is good? There's probably some good attributes, but I agree that making a sex tape and getting famous from it
Starting point is 01:10:16 is probably not an honorable thing to do. Yeah, you think Kanye's mom would have liked Kim? Yo, but that was innovative. Nah, Paris did that. Yo, she stole that from Paris, yo. Nah, but she didn't make it famous because of it. Paris? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:29 Paris Hilton was famous because of it. Where's she at now? Bitch was signed to Young Money Records. Yo, that's Chris. Chris the genius, yo. Wait, Paris' tape came out before Kim's? Yeah, well before. Yeah, but the thing is like-
Starting point is 01:10:39 Kim was on Paris' show. Yeah, she used to be like- She used to be like a lackey, but here's the thing. Kim did a sex tape and then became a legitimate celebrity and arguably like one of the most famous
Starting point is 01:10:51 people in the world. Yes. Paris did a sex tape and became a joke. Yeah. She was a caricature of herself. But that's Chris,
Starting point is 01:10:57 yo. She a mastermind. Fair enough. Fair enough. That being said, you gotta put some respect on that, man.
Starting point is 01:11:03 Like, she made, she made. I won't ever. I respect on that, man. Like she made she made. I won't ever. I don't know, bro. I do. I put some respect on it, man. She found a way.
Starting point is 01:11:11 I will never. I will never put respect on. What? What? I got to respect the Kardashians. Kim is the evil. Chris, you got to respect. You got to respect.
Starting point is 01:11:19 Chris is a absolute sociopathic genius. She don't give a fuck about nothing. She whatever the story that gets us ratings next year and keeps us relevant, let's do it. Yo, put a crack pipe in Lamar's hands, let's go. I don't give a fuck. That's the evil genius. Kim? I respect Kim. Stupid ass Kim. I respect him like a crime
Starting point is 01:11:37 family. Yeah. I just respect a mob boss. I'm like, oh, you do foul shit, like you kill people, whatever. They get away with murder. But yeah, but that's what I'm saying. You got to respect them. They know what they're doing. It's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:50 Chris is a genius. It's like all these comics that are like broke and they're like talk about some like hacky comic that like does voices. They're like, he does voices. It's like do voices because you have four roommates and you walk dogs for a living. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:01 Do you know what I'm saying? Like start doing some voices. Like figure it out because you can't kill. Right. So I feel like the thing with kardashians don't get me wrong i have no respect for anybody's opinion does sex work obviously don't get me wrong 100 but but that is separate than what you've done with that right potato potato yeah i mean it's different is that there is something Fundamentally different What you do with the attention You get
Starting point is 01:12:27 And how you get the attention Is completely different Right So if you get attention Doing some stupid shit Like Tekashi69 Does stupid shit To get attention
Starting point is 01:12:37 What he does With the attention Brilliant Lowest common denominator Get it What he does with it Brilliant Kim Kardashian
Starting point is 01:12:44 Lowest common denominator To get it What shit he does with it. Brilliant. Kim Kardashian. Lowest common denominator to get it. What should they do with it and how they flipped it into a fucking empire. If you don't respect that as brilliance. Shit, bro. You don't understand the game. You do it. They are marketing geniuses. I will never.
Starting point is 01:12:56 I didn't say I didn't respect their marketing ability. I just don't respect them as humans. Nobody asking you to. That's what I said. That's all I said. I'm not asking you to respect them. That's all I said. I love that.
Starting point is 01:13:05 But I just love the fact that they could take the worst shit and make some lemonade out of it. The worst possible thing, they're going to find a way. That is genius. There is some genius there. Yeah, no, no. More geniuses. I think Chris was like, hey, you have a private sex tape. There's ingredients for lemonade here.
Starting point is 01:13:23 Let's go ahead and just release it. She knew before anybody that all attention was good attention. She's a fucking genius. We need to sit down with that bitch. I would love to do a podcast with her, like a real talk. I bet you the OJ trial is what made it for her.
Starting point is 01:13:37 That's where she realized? I think. That's where I'm gonna bet. Fuck. That like her husband is defending like the worst man in the world. And he becomes famous. And becomes a hero. And it's like, I mean, obviously I don't think OJ is the worst man in the world and he becomes famous and becomes a hero
Starting point is 01:13:46 and it's like I mean obviously I don't think OJ is the worst man in the world but like he was like the unfavorable person because most people thought he was good
Starting point is 01:13:52 yeah yeah of course and so he's defending like what's seen as a murder and still becomes a celebrity and she saw what a circus that all was and she was like huh none of this seems
Starting point is 01:14:00 I think she that's when she understood the game 100% that's a great look she sees that all attention is good attention. We can flip this. That you can be a hero even if you're defending a villain as long as people love the villain. Hey, guys.
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Starting point is 01:15:43 know if nba players have the discipline to get through this season really i think they're gonna fly hoes in there that one girl says i already got invited to the bubble yeah i think they're gonna fly hoes in i think that somebody's gonna get corona and that bubble is gonna be i mean so everybody's gonna be so interconnected that that shit is gonna start to get shared around and that's going to be spread and they're going to shut down the season. That's my prediction. I don't think they're capable of staying in that bubble. They got invited to the bubble too early.
Starting point is 01:16:13 Who? The NBA players. They have damn near a month of practice before the season starts. You need to just get them tested. If they're clean, yo, we starting games right now. But you know why they had to go? Because people kept getting fucking Corona at these practice facilities. They shut down Denver's.
Starting point is 01:16:30 I think they shut down Milwaukee's. They shut down all these different practice facilities. So like we got to get people here, quarantine them, and then it's done. So they have to practice. So they don't all get injured. I understand that.
Starting point is 01:16:40 That being said, all it takes is one or two people getting in there and you're in that close proximity, breathing all over each other. Done. Yeah. Aren't they getting tested often though? Often.
Starting point is 01:16:49 I think they're getting the, what is it called? The temperature checks. But you can have it for a while without having a fever. I also think it's not going to be the stars that fuck it up. Well, one or two might. But it's mainly going to be the role players. The rumor is that Moe Harkless flew this girl out. Moe Harkless, you got no fucking business flying anybody out.
Starting point is 01:17:04 Bro, is that girl the one that said it? Yeah, the one that said I got invited to the bubble. I already got invited to the bubble. Rumor is it's Moe Harkless flew this girl out. Moe Harkless, you got no fucking business flying anybody out. Bro, is that girl the one that said it? Yeah, the one that said I got invited to the bubble. I already got invited to the bubble. Rumor is it's Moe Harkless. I don't know if that's true. Because the only NBA player that followed her is Nick Young.
Starting point is 01:17:13 Another one that got no fucking business. He's not even in the league. How are you in the bubble? Oh, yeah. And probably once that story broke, he was like, let me unfollow you.
Starting point is 01:17:22 He would follow. He's the only one dumb enough to actually follow the groupie. Yeah. Like most guys just like, no, we can just DM her and everything's going to be fine. But I guarantee Pussy's going to be a problem. I mean, like Harden Westbrook already got it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:33 Right. So they're not going until that shit is gone. Harden will get it twice. He might. He might. He really might. I just can't. I really do not believe they end up finishing the season.
Starting point is 01:17:43 Now, you might capture the people that have it so quickly that you can get them out of there, but I think teams are going to be significantly depleted. And I think people are just going to... Whoever wins this year, it's not going to be the best team. That's what I'm saying. If you're the Mavericks, obviously as a Mavericks fan, you got talent on your roster.
Starting point is 01:17:59 You got two stars. Everybody be disciplined. We can win the fucking championship. So then do you guys take back the no asterisk for the season? No, it's going to be an asterisk. I say no asterisk. You both said no asterisk. I said it's an asterisk if big players go down.
Starting point is 01:18:18 That's the only thing I said asterisk. But shouldn't it just be either asterisk or no asterisk? No, because for me it depends. You really can't control it. You know what I mean? If you know you're playing on a bad knee and then you tear your ACL, you knew your knee was bad. But to me...
Starting point is 01:18:31 You made the choice to go back out there. But I was going to say something about... Fuck, I forgot. Sorry, my bad. What was I saying? If you win the season. Oh, the team that wins the season... Not a good team is going to win.
Starting point is 01:18:44 ...is the most disciplined team. And if you want to find out what that team is, just see whose players are the least active on social media. If you're a gambling man, you see J.R. Smith on his fucking Snapchat and Instagram live, making fucking Instagram videos about the bubble, and look at the food we got, and look at all this shit, da-da-da, sharing everything.
Starting point is 01:19:09 The teams that aren't doing that, the teams that are locked in, the teams that are disciplined, those are the teams that got a chance because people are going to lose their fucking mind in there. And there are going to be players there who are like, I want to leave. I can't. Like, if we lose this season, we get swept. Let's go. Fine.
Starting point is 01:19:22 I'm done. Who are the teams? Are the Bucks really active? Raptors. There's one player on the Raptors that is messaging or tweeting. Serge Ibaka is the only player. Yeah. I haven't heard from Lowry.
Starting point is 01:19:35 I haven't heard from the African Duce Siakam. I haven't heard from Van Fleet. I haven't heard from any Raptors players. Van Fleet didn't even want to go. Is that right? You know what? Also could be a big indicator. If you got a lot of players
Starting point is 01:19:46 that didn't want to go on the team, they're going to be the most cautious within the bubble. That's a great point. You got a lot of people like, yo, I don't want to fucking do this. This isn't safe. That's a great point.
Starting point is 01:19:54 Those are the guys that aren't going to be out there. They're not going to be whatever. They're probably going to be on their teammates like, yo, do not fly this bitch in right out of your fucking mind. They're going to be the ones
Starting point is 01:20:02 that are the most vigilant. They're the Alex's of this thing. We need people like that to be like, yo, don't fucking wild out. I swear to God. And if they're good players in particular, now you really got power. Now, the other side of discipline is showing up to the bubble in a hazmat suit. Yes. That's what Joel Embiid did.
Starting point is 01:20:23 Right? So you, yes, it's a funny joke. Yes, it's cool. But it shows that your head's not there. It shows that you want to be a social media character, which is great, which is fun. That's what we love Embiid. He's got this amazing personality, but he's not locked in. I haven't seen LeBron do anything besides play NBA 2K.
Starting point is 01:20:39 Yeah. Right? Like, I haven't seen LeBron really tweeting, Instagram posting, at least nothing going viral. Anthony Davis not really seeming to say shit. He don't say much in general. Right? Like I haven't seen LeBron really tweeting, Instagram posting, at least nothing going viral, viral. Anthony Davis not really seeming to say shit. He don't say much in general. Anthony Davis was with LeBron on the 2K thing where they were like actually playing with people.
Starting point is 01:20:51 You saw that? And they were just like hanging out and people were following them, but it was in the game. Like you can walk around the courts and shit in the game. It doesn't matter. But like to me, you're kind of locked in. LeBron James has unbelievable mental discipline.
Starting point is 01:21:04 And I know we knocked him a lot earlier in his career for it but it is something that i've seen like this just wild improvement i remember i think because we knocked him early in his he was like i gotta get this down and well i remember when charlamagne we were talking to him about when he was on the shop and they added him out uh now we're teasing about that but i asked him what is that thing that these great people have or he asked a question kevin kevin love was on there kevin love said lebron has crazy focus like his when he locks in it's unlike anything he's ever seen and i think that's a big there's certain
Starting point is 01:21:34 characteristics goat have goats have i think one is a lot of energy i think another one is a crazy level of focus i can lock in on this one thing what do you all think about the back of the jerseys so like the n NBA said you can put Not whatever you want there's like a list Of approved sayings to put on the back of your jersey You right Can you get those up which are the other ones But like you can put Black Lives Matter
Starting point is 01:21:55 Like Kyle Corbett's doing Black Lives Matter You can make a statement With where your name would go on a jersey You read about this Yeah I've read about it I didn't know they were going to go through with it. So yeah, they've gone through with it. They have a list of things that guys can put on the back of their jersey.
Starting point is 01:22:09 And it was part of the negotiation of the players coming back to the bubble and the different things that they can do to promote Black Lives Matter and promote everything that's going on. These are some of them right here. So Black Lives Matter. Actually, can you remove that out?
Starting point is 01:22:22 It's a little harder for me to read if you have that. Black Lives Matter. Say their names. Vote. I can't breathe. Justice. Peace. Equality. Freedom. Enough. Power to the people. Justice now. Say her name. Si se puede.
Starting point is 01:22:35 Oh, yeah. Liberation. See us. Hear us. Respect us. Love us. Listen. Listen to us. Stand up. Ally. Anti-racracist i am a man hey yo that's a little problematic yeah wmba jerseys gonna be stacked speak up how many more group economics education reform and mentor um so you can put any of those approved on the back and lebron and i believe k Kawhi and a bunch of players have chose not to do it.
Starting point is 01:23:06 And their argument is, you know what I do for the community, you know, and it's undeniable what he does for the community. It is interesting though. Does he view that as performative and not really doing change? And is he saying, Hey,
Starting point is 01:23:21 this isn't really how you make a difference. Like, but he's worn an, I can't breathe shirt in pregame warmups. And also i would say that like so for his argument i go meta world peace didn't make more world peace right does it just seem like a gimmick and maybe he's is he like look having that on the back of my jersey is going to make more people realize that black lives matter i have a thing personally and maybe he has the same thing, where it's like, I don't want to feel like I'm caving to social pressure
Starting point is 01:23:47 to be woke. Like, I'll do it if I want to do it. I'm not going to do it because you're telling me. Like, the black square on Instagram, I was just like, I'm not doing it just because. But they negotiated for this, not the NBA. This is the players association. Even within that group, there might be a lot of pressure internally
Starting point is 01:24:01 to be like, hey, guys, we should all do this. And he's probably like, I'm going to do what I'm going to do. I do plenty. I'm not doing it because you want me to i'm doing it because i want to right but it is interesting because he wore the i can't breathe shirt on the court must have been valuable i would like to know his rationale for it because some people might go like oh this is from him or this is what you think no no this is not from him some people might say he said that he's gonna wear j James on the back of his jersey. Yeah, but he didn't say why. No, no.
Starting point is 01:24:29 Well, he said like, you know what I do and people know that. That's only half an answer. Yeah. But what I'm saying is like, some people might go, it's easy to talk about reform and all that kind of stuff on Twitter. But the second you have to sacrifice something that's like part of your personal branding,
Starting point is 01:24:45 all of a sudden you're like, you know what I do. The second it doesn't say your name on Twitter, but the second you have to sacrifice something that's part of your personal branding, all of a sudden you're like, you know what I do. The second it doesn't say your name on it, it doesn't say King James on the back, it doesn't say James. Can we keep it a buck, too? If you want to talk about a lot of these things don't really carry weight, but if LeBron James wins a fourth title, whatever it is, with I Can't Breathe or I Am A Man or any one of those things on the back of his jersey, That's a powerful image that lives on forever. You won the championship wearing that jersey with that on your back.
Starting point is 01:25:09 That carries through for generations, that image. I mean, think about all the pictures that will be taken on the court, dunks, and not even championships, just throughout the season. Some crazy dunk you're elevating and in the back it says, Black Lives Matter and you're dunking on some white guy. there'd be there'd be like some pretty iconic crazy images that people don't know why i some people might not that it could be like an ego thing he's like wait wait i gotta not have my name on the back of the jersey i'm lebron james that's what some people might say kawaii say he's not gonna do it either kawaii is so locked in i don't think he even knows what i don't think
Starting point is 01:25:42 he knows people are dying yeah yeah i can't breathe he's knows what's going on. I don't think he knows people are dying. Yeah. Yeah. I can't breathe. He's like, well, just try to breathe. You try to breathe? That seems like the easiest way to breathe. He's like, pregnant women do it. It's just interesting to me. I don't know. It's just very interesting. When given the ability to do it, a very small thing,
Starting point is 01:26:00 the choice to not do it. It doesn't cost anything. Yeah, I know. That's a little odd, right? I thought you were going to talk about the NBA website and their ability to let you customize jerseys on there.
Starting point is 01:26:10 Have you seen this? No. So like with, in conjunction with this thing, the NBA website was like, yo, if you want to order jerseys, you can order jerseys and customize the back
Starting point is 01:26:17 to whatever you want. Right. Except for a few certain things. What? All lives matter? The one that you can't, that a lot of people are talking about is Free Hong Kong. Get out of here! a few certain things what all lives matter the one that you can't that a lot of people are talking about is free hong kong oh so if you type in hong kong into the website it says we're unable to
Starting point is 01:26:32 customize this item with the text you've entered please try a different entry wow and then people have like this litany of awful things that you can have instead you can have uh like fuck police kill cops burn jews all in the back of your jersey except free hong kong i don't know what the official list is as far as like what's banned and what's not so they have the all these terrible things on the back of these jerseys but the one that they aren't allowing people to buy is free hong kong if you guys hear the barking that's cookie in the back um yo that is crazy they will really just bend over and get fucked. The NBA will bend over and get fucked by China, huh?
Starting point is 01:27:09 Yo, isn't it crazy? They're the entire reason you're in this fucking bubble, China. And you won't say free Hong Kong. That's embarrassing, yo. Yeah, that's wild. That's wild, too. Yeah. Let me tell you something.
Starting point is 01:27:23 If Andrew starts a pandemic and you want to say fuck andrew no matter how much money you put in my pocket i'm gonna be like i get it i'm not gonna wear the jersey if i get it that's the thing man it's just so weird like it's not weird it's embarrassing well that's what that's what things happen where you start to question the care of a corporation and that's why it's so hard for corporations to be woke is because there's always going to be a part of that corporation that's going to put profit ahead of people and if you're a corporation all your detractors have to do is find out what that part of your hypocrisy lies and then they can expose it like right now these people that are
Starting point is 01:28:01 finding you can't say free hong kong they're just people that don't care I imagine a lot of them don't even care about Hong Kong they're just anti black lives matter they're antagonizing they're yeah they're doing this complete to antagonize
Starting point is 01:28:10 but you leave yourself open to antagonization when you become this fake woke corporation but as a as a pretty moderate person I think that doesn't make me less black lives matter
Starting point is 01:28:18 but it does make me more you know the NBA mad phony fuck all this woke shit you're doing right I still black lives matter but also y'all ain't shit well that's the thing and they're gonna go you don't care about Black Lives Matter you care about profit and you realize that right now being on the side of Black Lives Matter
Starting point is 01:28:32 is profitable so like it really takes away from any efforts you made at all and that's why they're starting a season now they're like yo we got money to make y'all ready yeah nobody's watching TV you ready to make some money what's the best way for us to make money? Okay, the black players don't want to play because of Black Lives Matter protests and there's this monumental moment in history where we have all this attention. All right, how can we trick them into playing?
Starting point is 01:28:54 We'll donate some money for Black Lives Matter. Well, let's put Black Lives Matter on your jersey. Your goal is not help Black Lives Matter. If you really cared about Black Lives Matter, you would shut down the season and you'd be like, we are protesting with our players this 90% black-owned league
Starting point is 01:29:07 and we are going to, and you know what? We have all these billionaire owners that have tons of money. We're also going to donate money to these different organizations, these different charities. You don't give a flying fuck.
Starting point is 01:29:17 Don't give a fuck. You are giving enough of a fuck to make people think that you do. That's all it is. Here's enough of a fuck to throw the scent off the not give a fuck trail. Yeah. They don't give a fuck. They give enough of a fuck.
Starting point is 01:29:29 You give enough of a fuck to trick the populace. Yeah. God damn. That's embarrassing. Yeah. What was his Woj story? That he. Oh, just Woj's fake Karen.
Starting point is 01:29:39 Some senator said some shit. What was it? I don't know. Some senator said some shit. He was like, fuck you. Yeah. And he was like, I don't know, something about that. He said some pro-Trump shit,'t know some sarah said some shit he was like fuck you yeah and it's like uh something about that he said some pro trump shit i think or something like that but then espn suspended him they suspended him but like here's my thing woj has a job because of
Starting point is 01:29:58 his connections right when you're woj what guys if you don't know who adrian wojnowski whatever he's the type he's the guy who drops news about trades, drops news about injuries, drops any kind of news, right? And they call Woj bombs, right? He's the TMZ of the NBA. Perfectly said, yes. So his currency is relationships. So his relationship to the owner of the Knicks, his relationship to the GM,
Starting point is 01:30:18 his relationship to one of the training guys, his relationship to the players themselves. When the players themselves see this, you know whose side they're going to be on? Who tweeted him? One of the first people who tweeted him. LeBron. Free Woj. Free Woj. So now when LeBron texts... Not Hong Kong, but Woj for sure.
Starting point is 01:30:35 But now when Woj texts LeBron, hey, what's going on in the bubble? How's everything going? LeBron might give him a little tidbit. LeBron might tell him a little something like that. You choose your sources who you give the information to And they scratch your back too Every once in a while Woj writes an article About the best GMs in the league
Starting point is 01:30:52 And you know who he does? He scratches the back of those GMs that gave him information You know who he leaves off? The motherfuckers that said fuck you You see what I'm saying? All this is exchange of information It's like spy ship but no stakes So I think what he did was If I'm saying All this is exchange of information It's like spy shit But no stakes Yeah You know
Starting point is 01:31:05 So I think what he did was On purpose If I'm Woj I do that on purpose And I make sure to leak my own shit Right You might get suspended For a few days from ESPN
Starting point is 01:31:14 But ESPN knows what time it is They know it's good to have Woj They're politicians these guys I remember we were at the All Star game And I saw Shams The Indian guy And this is why I'm bitter He's the Indian Woj
Starting point is 01:31:23 I think he even worked for Woj Yeah he did Now he's doing his own thing Now he's number two Itj I think he even worked for Woj yeah he did now he's doing his own thing now he's number two it's some real like fucking wire shit but he the guy blew right past me
Starting point is 01:31:30 and then we were with an NBA guy and he was like hey buddy mad like talking him up and then I felt a little hurt
Starting point is 01:31:36 but then I was also I went to the NBA guy I was like are y'all like homies and he was like nah man he's just trying to get something out of me
Starting point is 01:31:42 that's just what it is that's the game but like calling by his last name like if I was like yo gag non what's good but like really trying to make it seem like we're buddies they're just glad handing yo hey let me hold this baby let me take this picture i'm right there i'm your guy tell me something all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second listen radix remedies simple as that best that Best CBD on the planet The only CBD That the asshole army Flagrant to
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Starting point is 01:33:24 RadixRemedies.com. All promo code flagrant radix remedies.com all right peace anyway guys what do you think one more we wrap it up um there was something i saw it's a little interesting this comedy club in san diego american comedy club bro fun ass club this is did you see this yeah yeah great great pets that's the pretzel you want to get a motherfucking pretzel at a comedy club that That's the one. So American Comedy Club or American Comedy Co. in San Diego, we've all performed there. Yeah. They said that they have rebranded their comedy shows as comedy civil disobedience shows, which comedians are now called protesters and performers are called and the performances
Starting point is 01:34:01 are called protests. This is all a way for the business to stay open during the pandemic now because politicians don't want to anger the people who vote for them they basically said hey businesses you got to shut down because of corona but what about these big protests where people are all together in the streets well those are okay but businesses have to be shut down because we could get prone you can't you may be able to get corona in these protests matter of fact you probably will be able to get Corona in these protests. Matter of fact, you probably will be able to,
Starting point is 01:34:26 it's less likely because of open air and you have wind moving around the disease, but it's still dangerous to do. Um, but at the same time, we don't want to piss those people off because we need to be in office. So we want people to vote for us. So what they did,
Starting point is 01:34:38 and this is so funny because this is something I said on Rogan. I literally was like on Rogan. I was like, yo, joking around. I go, I mean, while we just say that we're doing the shows for black lives matter and then we could donate part of the proceeds to black lives matter and then we could have the shows and this is everything's
Starting point is 01:34:54 good this is when we thought rona was out of here pretty much they're actually doing it i did a black lives matter show this saturday in brooklyn really yeah man fun also like outdoors patio situation outdoors there's like 20 people back of a bar which is good to be doing comedy in new york again Oakland. Really? Yeah. Man, fun. It's outdoors, patio situation. Outdoors, there's like 20 people, back of a bar. It was just good to be doing comedy in New York again. Right. And it felt like just like, it didn't feel like the comedy club when we went to Kansas City. It felt more low stakes because lower people, whatever.
Starting point is 01:35:15 But it was just fun to be up there fucking around again. It felt great. But what made it a Black Lives Matter show? They donated some of the money to Black Lives Matter. And that's why they're allowed to have the show? I guess so. So now people just using Black Lives Matter. Oh, man why they're allowed to have the show? I guess so. So now people just using Black Lives Matter.
Starting point is 01:35:27 Oh, man. Now. Take the money. It's one of those things where it's like, all right, Black Lives Matter gets to make money.
Starting point is 01:35:33 They get to, you know, use that money to help people. These businesses get to use Black Lives Matter to keep their business going. Like, maybe everybody wins in this situation. It's like the tax write-off thing.
Starting point is 01:35:43 Exactly. The charities. Just using it for a tax write-off. Yeah, but leukemia gets some money. It's like the tax write-off thing. Exactly, the charity. You're just using it for a tax write-off. Yeah, but leukemia gets some money. That's true, yeah. It is interesting, though. It is a win-win, kind of.
Starting point is 01:35:50 It's kind of a win-win. It depends how much they give. My suspicion is not a lot is given. It's probably a percentage of profits, but if you're a comedy club and you got to pay rent and staff and you have back rent, like, there's probably not much profit.
Starting point is 01:36:04 But it's also, you's also more fundraisers. It can't be bad. And how do you guys feel about California going back into lockdown? Man. Sad. This shit, I really feel like we're going to be in this for a while, bro. I'm being honest. I feel like we're going to be in it for a while.
Starting point is 01:36:19 I mean, yeah. We might need a little cure action or we might need like a guaranteed. It doesn't have to be the cure, but it's got to fix it. There's got to be something that is like makes it much more treatable and not nearly as fatal for people to get over. Now the fear is, oh, somebody got Corona. It's all over. It's got to be strep throat. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:36:42 Like it's got to be you get it. They're like, oh, you got Corona. OK, here's this prescription that's going to be strep throat you know what i mean like it's got to be you get it they're like oh you got corona okay here's this prescription that's gonna knock it out in real talk it's well it's not we haven't got the prescription yet but it's getting to the point where most people aren't dying right i get it the death rate is very low once that gets so low to the like all right whatever like it's like the flu yeah die from the flu we're already i mean it's some people are taking it way too far, like motherfuckers who won't even wear masks and like that's impinging on my freedom or whatever. But we have to find that healthy medium of just like, look, it's quite possible you get
Starting point is 01:37:12 sick, but you still have to live your life. Because like you said, this ain't going away for a long time. This is a marathon. This isn't a sprint. We thought it was a sprint. That's what sucks is we thought it was a sprint and we're all sprinting and then it turns out you got 24 miles left. We got a long time left.
Starting point is 01:37:25 We just got to be like, hey, we could get sick. What are the risks worth taking for you, for each person? And then be responsible to not get motherfuckers sick around you. Let's go. It really does feel as silly as this is to come full circle with it. But it really does feel like if you just wear a mask when you're around people, you'll be alright. Wear a mask and distance. That's literally what it feels like. Mask and distance. It feels
Starting point is 01:37:50 like, yo, just wear the mask when you're around some people. It only took them four fucking months, but... Hey, I've been good. Did you say you wore a mask for the first time? Like, last week? I always comply. I've never been, like, an anti-masker. Nah, we went to Kansas City, and to Andrew's credit
Starting point is 01:38:05 Everywhere I was masked up Andrew was masked up Even in the Uber This fucking redneck over here Never put on that mask Really I followed the laws bro Son
Starting point is 01:38:14 I followed the laws That's what I did Nah bro I think you gotta wear it inside And one Uber driver To Andrew's credit Was like yo You don't have to wear a mask
Starting point is 01:38:21 I guess he felt like Cucky cause he's in Missouri And people were probably like Fuck that And Andrew was like Nah we're good I obviously left my mask on Cause I have no immune system And credit was like, yo, you don't have to wear a mask. I guess he felt like cucky because he's in Missouri and people were probably like, fuck that. And Andrew was like, nah, we're good. I obviously left my mask on because I have no immune system. And Mark was like, oh, I bet. And he took his shit off.
Starting point is 01:38:31 But I wear a mask inside. I didn't take it off. I always do it. Okay. Yeah. I mean, if it's my house, I'm not wearing a mask. Yeah, yeah. In here, we're not wearing a mask.
Starting point is 01:38:40 That's good. I'm happy to hear that. Pump in fresh oxygen. You got to do all this shit. Wear a mask. Be six feet apart. And that's really what you got to do. That's what you can do. And that will do a lot. I'm happy to hear that. Pump in fresh oxygen. You got to do all this shit. Wear a mask. Be six feet apart. And that's really what you got to do. That's what you can do.
Starting point is 01:38:47 And that will do a lot. I saw a story. I think it was in Philadelphia. Some 30-year-old kid passed away. He went to one of those corona parties where people were trying to catch it intentionally. What? So there was corona parties where people went with people who were positive with corona. They were trying to catch it intentionally so they can just get it out their system,
Starting point is 01:39:04 like get it over with. And one kid from the party actually died. Son, how do you know about this? I listen to the news. The news is the only shit I pay attention to. I could care less about all this social media shit. You know about Goya Beans, motherfucker? I mean, it's in the news.
Starting point is 01:39:18 It's in the news. Yeah. Yeah, man. That's not hard about Corona parties. I wanted to catch that shit out. Bro, I was bug Jason though Mark wants that I wanted to get it
Starting point is 01:39:26 way early that way I could just have immunity and just be fine apparently it was stronger earlier I talked to a doctor in Texas and she was
Starting point is 01:39:32 saying like I think it's a weaker thing than it was before before less people were getting it but they were getting fucked up now more people are getting it
Starting point is 01:39:39 but they're not as fucked up more mild cases yeah I'd just rather not get it just rather not get it but I'm cool you cool never know what underlying
Starting point is 01:39:46 health conditions you may have that could worsen right and in reality all these maskless people that's fine be maskless you're probably backwards as fuck anyway like we're fine without you yeah true what if the people die if the people who refuse to wear a mask are gone like all right that's on you you refuse to wear a mask you're an idiot you thought it was a fucking hoax cool but and it's an election cycle coming up i mean they don't care though if they die right like their whole thing is i should be able to die no there's a lot of people think a lot of them think it's bullshit yeah a lot of dog i follow a guy who was a comic like years ago when i was in dallas i just came to visit i saw him i thought he's funny and then i realized we're facebook friends and i'm seeing like his shit about like
Starting point is 01:40:25 masks are for communists and like this thing is a hoax and not that many people are dying I was like oh you legit went crazy but he's also fat so if he dies you know
Starting point is 01:40:33 that's alright but not a lot of people are dying the death rate is going down from when it from the start of it but people still are dying
Starting point is 01:40:41 yeah I think the flattened curve shit was important early on too because now we're not like choosing who dies like they were in italy because they're flooded with like they don't have enough beds for everybody etc right all right well look some podcasts you end on a high note you know and then some of you don't it's just you want to talk way fair or not say what you want to talk way fair or not there's nothing there we got one more thing we got to talk about today then we're getting out of here um this is this is a little fucking wild i'll be honest with you it was one of those things we were thinking about
Starting point is 01:41:13 saving for the patreon because of how repulsive i know it's going to be i haven't seen it yet but i just know it so mark um you know mark guys he's been talking on the podcast today. And what you don't know because you can't smell is how little he bathes. It's crazy. It's really crazy. It's the most French thing about him. It is maybe the only French thing about him. And his hygiene, he uses a, what did you call it? It's like an organic deodorant.
Starting point is 01:41:43 A natural deodorant. A natural deodorant. Yeah. I really think he just takes a pear and rubs it under his arms because it does the exact same thing Rick Ross style yeah so Mark went to the hospital today was a little late for the thing and I was a little bit concerned I said what's up your back he has back issues he goes to a chiropractor as a whole thing he goes no I'm getting my ears cleaned he went to the hospital he went to a medical professional to get his ears cleaned. That's wild.
Starting point is 01:42:08 And we actually have video of what it looks like and what came out of your ears. Is that correct? Should we put the video on the... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So this... We should save the video for the Patreon.
Starting point is 01:42:24 No, no, no. We're watching a video so this is just a still picture dude some of the video up yet i don't know if the picture up yet it's already up maybe for the video we save it for the patreon but i really want to get your reaction is it that crazy play it right now let's just play this yeah yeah let's just let me see the video dude the paper looks like a rorschach test, but just put the video for me Oh my god, I test of doodoo Dude there's a beehive inside Also, why is your ear so fucking hairy man? This is everybody's here's Harry though, but oh my god
Starting point is 01:43:00 Yeah, that looks like what Andy Dufresne crawled through to break out of Shawshank Son, that's wild, yo. Holy fuck. Oh, this is repulsive, dude. Son, even Cookie grossed out, yo. Oh my God. It's just tar. You have tar in your ears.
Starting point is 01:43:15 What is this device that they're using? That should look like a smoker's lung. I'm using that device. I have the ear cleaner in my place. But this is a professional doing it to you, right? No, this is me and my girl doing it. Oh, I thought you said you went to the hospital.
Starting point is 01:43:26 Yeah, I did. After I did that yesterday, it was like, oh, I need professional consultation. Oh, and then you got that and then what happened? He just cleaned, crapping up and cleaning up.
Starting point is 01:43:36 Well, how'd he do it? He just went in there with like a little spoon, a little vacuum thing. Oh my God. And do you hear better? Kind of, a little bit. I feel a lot better though. It's like, it just feels less clogged. It just feels great. And do you hear better? Kind of, a little bit. I feel a lot better, though.
Starting point is 01:43:45 Like, it's like, it just feels less clogged. It just feels great. What do you think is the purpose of earwax? I think it's, like, to keep out germs and bacteria and dirt. It has a protective purpose, but I don't think you're supposed to have that much. I think it's to keep out bugs. That, too. I think we would sleep on the ground, obviously,
Starting point is 01:44:01 and there'd just be tons of little insects that would crawl up in our ears and then cause all these weird infections. So you have this sticky substance that's in your ears stops it the bugs again the most important place yeah so you really be trying your girl bro like you are this guy's trying to get out of this wedding bro insane dude no but he does everything possible for her to break up with his ass and he just will not she just will not do it why are you testing this woman bro she's a sweet lady though she's a medical professional come on bro that color son come on my earwax is lighter than i don't want you to clean my ears oh yeah on patreon we're cleaning andrew's ear no we're not i think your ears are probably more i have disgusting i'm
Starting point is 01:44:40 coming in i'm gonna clean them i'm not gonna let you put that thing in my ear i know i have a different hook i'm not gonna let you put a hook in my ear. I know. I have a different hook. I'm not going to let you put a hook in my fucking ear. Dude, this is, look at this. This is repulsive. Oh my God, dude. We have to actually, we're going to sign a contract, you and I, and you have to bathe and regularly wash your body. How is this going to do with bathing?
Starting point is 01:45:05 Say what? What does your ear being messed this have to do with bathing? Say what? What does your ear being messed up have to do with bathing? Something. You go like this. When you get out of the shower, you go like that. That's what I do. Have you never cleaned your ear? That's what I do.
Starting point is 01:45:11 When you're on a flight, do you not go like this and then a fucking booger shoots out both of your ears? How has this not been? Look at this. There's a pond. There's the tarp. That's a tarpon. Los Angeles has it.
Starting point is 01:45:24 Look at this part right here that's in last action hero oh my god yo dude look at this so disgusted mark this is a problem but it's clean now oh my god this one is gonna be serious what did the doctor say to you he's i've seen worse no he did not he did no he did he No, he didn't. He said that. He's seen worse because they cleaned half of it the day before. Oh, that's a good-ass point. Oh, he got what was left. Yeah, he got the sloppy seconds.
Starting point is 01:45:52 Oh, my goodness, dude. That was absolutely disgusting, Mark. So this is what we're going to do from now on. Okay? This is not only for the sake of our studio smelling good, but also for the sake of your relationship. Okay. You have to shower three days a week damn it why okay that includes washing hair and shampoo shampoo and you have to do shampoo
Starting point is 01:46:15 what else do you wash just water he thinks that shit works bro he takes like the white leg cleaning approach to his hair so look and then three days a week. Okay. You got to go. You got to go shower. But go. Let me keep the same underwear the whole week. No. Once Mark came in with the same socks he wore the day before, bro. You can wear the same socks.
Starting point is 01:46:33 No, no. And I knew they were the same socks because he mismatched them the day before. So it's not like he just wore two white pairs in a row. You would never know the difference. But we got one pink, one purple. And I'm like, bro, we saw this yesterday. How do yesterday how do you put this nah bro he wants us to intervene he wants intervention oh you think it's a cry i think this is it it's a cry for help i think that we should do a dramatic scene to end the podcast no no we cut that out already right they don't know what the fuck we did uh we cut out how lame uh improv is we went on a whole rant about how lame fuck
Starting point is 01:47:04 because ucb is racist We should leave the rant and cut the scene. No, no, no, no. I think you can leave the scene. But maybe we'll redo one more scene, okay? So just to put in perspective, UCB was called racist because they don't promote any black people into the higher ranks of their system. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:47:20 Right? So whatever their stupid ass thing is. So there's like a bunch of tiers and if you reach the higher ranks, then you can get looks from these different and if you don't you just keep paying money and they charge you for fucking everything exactly and they're not promoting the black people obviously because they're funny and you can't be funny and be good at improv yeah the whole thing is designed for people who are not funny or talented they literally create systems for people that are not funny to be able to do their job. Yeah. That's what it's about.
Starting point is 01:47:46 You know how there's certain jobs they let retards do because it's retard proof? Right? They're the movie theater ticket people. Exactly. Movie theater ticket is just take it. And that's it. Right? They've taken it.
Starting point is 01:47:56 And that's yes and. Yes and. Look, it keeps on funny if you just keep saying yes. You know what I mean? Anyway, so these fucking rapists, right? Yeah. Oh my God. Aren't they rapists? They are so these fucking rapists, right? Yeah. Oh, my God. Aren't they rapists?
Starting point is 01:48:06 They are so rapists. It's crazy. The whole thing is yes and. The whole thing. You cannot say no. There is no. You enter the space, right? It's like, where was Weinstein?
Starting point is 01:48:15 That's where his fucking talent. I just said, every UCB show. I'm going to pull my dick out and jerk off in front of this tree. Yes. And? And I'll just keep watching so mark used to do in college mark you you would be as part of this troop you were in a troop for one semester yeah and you said that they would do dramatic scenes for an hour yeah there you were not trying to be funny no
Starting point is 01:48:41 and i think that we should end this podcast on a dramatic scene okay okay the dramatic scene is you you have a type of cancer okay that is uh directly directly derivative to poor hygiene and what would it's bacterial buildup in the armpits okay that's pretty good bacterial buildup in the armpits and your armpits are just stuffed and it's just and it's cancer though and it is it's aids too it's both of them it's both of them and uh so we're the three of us are intervening to you. Okay. Okay. Remember, this is not comedy, guys. We have to be serious about this.
Starting point is 01:49:28 We are doing an intervention because we want to save your life. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Ready? Yeah. Mark. Yes.
Starting point is 01:49:34 Don't be funny, Mark. I'm not being funny. No, you're not English. And you have this problem. Why not? You'd be English and serious. Yes. And you got a yes.
Starting point is 01:49:43 Andy was a pro with me. Oh, he just he just killed you. Okay. Yes, Andy. You got a yes, Andy. It was a problem for me. Oh, he just killed you, son. Okay, fine. Okay, so Mark. Mark, Mark. Okay, Mark. Yeah, what is it? Mark, we've come here together.
Starting point is 01:49:54 We're your friends. We're your family. And we love you. And we had a conversation and we feel that we feel that, um, we feel that your body odor and just your general smell and your hair also is,
Starting point is 01:50:15 I'm sorry to laugh. It's a health hazard. It's a health hazard. Wait, so this isn't a birthday party. No, it is not a birthday party. It's meant to look like that.
Starting point is 01:50:23 It's hard. Sounded Indian. Almost. It is. Guys, it is not a birthday party. It's meant to look like that. Sounded Indian almost. It is. Guys, we got to be serious. We're doing an intervention here. We are concerned. We remember that time we asked you to go to the hospital when we all went together to get those Corona tests. Remember those?
Starting point is 01:50:38 Yeah. And remember they also took like a swab sample of your armpits. Do you remember that? I remember that. Yeah. That actually wasn't for Corona. That was for an AIDS cancer I was for an AIDS cancer of the armpits and also checking his downs over so you try something they saw my armpits yeah and after they swab my armpits they say that i have like aids cancer you have an aids cancer it's a very akash can explain in more detail than i can basically you're just so filthy yeah that it's your body is like a cesspool for all diseases
Starting point is 01:51:16 yeah it's like open season for any disease that's interested yep and they're all interested and they're interested in you good is this common in six-year-olds? No, it's not common in anyone. It's just common for you. So I'm the only six-year-old in all of Brisbane. We understand that you identify as six. We understand that. And we understand as a trans-ageist person that you do that.
Starting point is 01:51:40 And that's cool. If you want to identify as six, that's fine. But you're a grown adult. And you smell like shit. But I feel like'm six i know i know my birthday's tomorrow this is supposed to be my party but you you bathe yourself like you're six you do you have the hygiene of a six-year-old and that's what we're here to address we want you we want you to listen we're totally cool with you sucking the dicks all the time. We think that's great. It's empowering.
Starting point is 01:52:07 No, we literally, one of the cool things about you is how much you devour dicks, dude. Like, what did you say to me the other day? You're like, one of my favorite things to do is wake up in the morning. They call me the hot dog eater. Yeah. The glizzy gladiator. The glizzy gladiator. But what would you say?
Starting point is 01:52:23 I get up in the morning. I just crush a P3. Crush a p3 p3 yeah crush a p3 yeah start every morning for p3 right favorite snack and i have a cheese cube and a cashew cashew and then uh salami but you go with the real thing and you you have been sucking an incredible amount of dicks Right Historic maybe It is honestly historic It's historic Dude I remember once
Starting point is 01:52:49 When you lined them all up You lined them all up Right You lined all the dicks up Yeah in the back garden In the back garden Yeah I remember
Starting point is 01:52:57 I was going to the back garden Because I was taking out Cookie And I was thinking I was just going to take her out For a piss and shit And I walked And here you are And I thought you were listening
Starting point is 01:53:04 To heavy metal music bro You're just banging your head her out for a piss and shit And I walked and here you are And I thought you were listening to heavy metal music bro You're just banging your head back and forth going up and down It was unbelievable It was unbelievable We're not saying cut that out No I love it I enjoy it Watching or being part of it
Starting point is 01:53:19 Both Dude when you suck Akash's dick Dude So what's the cure What can I do Both. Dude, when you suck Akash's dick, dude. So what's the cure? What can I do for my pits? Here's the thing. Here's the thing. My stinky pits.
Starting point is 01:53:31 Here's the thing that you're going to need to do. And I know it sounds odd. And I know it sounds weird. You're going to need to do a semen transfer. You're going to need to suck semen out of one person's dick. And then you're going to need to shoot it back into another person's dick Dad, you mean it Son
Starting point is 01:53:50 I mean, your father loves you He wouldn't lie to you You know what I mean? I do love him I love him It's different I'm not in love with him anymore Okay, got it
Starting point is 01:54:03 I do love him I'm not in love with him anymore Okay, got i do love it i'm not in love with him and i got it you know what i mean yeah i know what you mean i loved him when he was actually six right right right okay and i understand this whole ruse is to get back to that and get my attention it's not working think about it think about it so when when do i stop my cure Think about it So when do I stop my cure? I Would rather us all get AIDS
Starting point is 01:54:28 Than continue doing improv Alright guys that's the end of the episode We'll see you on Patreon Patreon.com slash flagrant2 If you fuck with us You can go do that we do an extra episode Every week over there only on patreon patreon exclusive shit gets a little wild we don't do improv over there we're not going to
Starting point is 01:54:51 do any improv over there we got to save the video for the patreon all right we'll drop the video he's being out in the wild okay we'll drop the video on patreon we'll do the video wild and it will be i mean it is one of the most repulsive things you've ever seen in your entire life that being said this is Flagrant 2. We love you all. Peace. God bless.

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