Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - The Trans Takeover Has Begun
Episode Date: July 14, 2020This week Andrew Schulz, Akaash Singh, AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon discuss the hottest Trans of all time, Will and Jada are the new Kardashians, give black people reparations, exposing NBA's fake activ...ism and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2
Transcript
Discussion (0)
let's get right into it this trans model that is in sports illustrated is unbelievably beautiful
okay i think that she's earned it i think if you're tranny, you have to be hotter, way hotter than a real woman.
Does that make sense?
It's like impossible meat got to be way better than the worst hamburger.
Hey, let me tell you something.
This is beyond bitch right here.
This is beyond bitch.
This is beyond bitch right here.
Yo, this is the impossible bitch.
We done found this.
Real talk.
Impossible tranny.
We done found it.
This bitch is for real.
I need to try the vegan vajayjay.
Like, dude, this girl, her name is Valentina Sampaio, right?
Look her up.
She's on my Instagram.
So that's the first.
You know this tranny's fine when you have your boys message you like, yo, seen who's gonna be on victoria's secret literally all i did was i messaged back the group chat my search history on instagram and
youtube not browsers yet but bro this girl if anybody's watching right now valentina simpio
she's gonna be a sports illustrated swim suit uh 2020 rookie right she was probably in the regular sports what if she laughs like that
she's a rookie swimsuit model but as a dude She's a red shirt freshman
She's in her second year
The best fucking Patrice joke
When he talk about how his girl
Laughs old
Remember he's little
Date these girls back in the day
And he laughs
But my girl being in the crib like
This girl is so fine
But if she had a crazy dude laugh
Dude I've looked at everything
I've looked feet
Abs
How are the feet?
Feet
I've only seen heels
She's in a lot of like
Toe length?
Toe length
I've only seen heels
An inch shoe
I haven't seen just flat feet
That's a second toe man
Long
It might be
The 11th toe is pretty long
But for real dude dude, look.
The body, the shoulders.
She is size 14, Jordan.
You think?
She got to have something.
Oh, man.
Look at her.
The butt.
She doesn't have enough butt for me, for a dude.
You know what I mean?
She don't got that Jorge Masvidal.
Jorge Masvidal?
Jorge got that horsey?
He got the horsey.
Giddy up. Yo, what're going to talk about- Jorge got that horsey? Son, he got the horsey. Giddy up.
Yo, what happened to this podcast?
What happened?
Valentina Sampaio came on.
We all went fucking gay.
Son.
No, don't show the real women, Al.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
Okay, because-
Hey, that's a real woman, yo.
Say what?
That's a real woman.
What makes a woman a woman?
That's how I knew back in the day.
Once these girls got fine as fuck we were
gonna start really going like do you know what i'm saying oh yeah yeah here's the question is
she your most prophetic joke prophetic yeah i thought you said pathetic no no no you had you
had a line i don't remember you kept it but you said something like oh boy here we go caitlin
jenner still looks a little brucey which is a great way she got a little bruce in her she got
a little bruce in her but here's the thing
that's interesting is this girl percentage wise valentina simpio girl dude whatever
you know it's interesting you get to identify as whatever you want
why can't i identify you as whatever i want
like i'm allowed to say america is the best country in the world
you're allowed to say india is right but i'm allowed to say America's the best country in the world You're allowed to say India is
But I'm allowed to say you're not
I identify you as not
Why is that hateful?
I don't hate India
I'm like nah
There's a gold medal in there and there ain't
Y'all bronze like your skin
But that being said
Okay This girl right here Valentinaina's empire okay is she percentage
wise more fake than kylie jenner percentage of her body oh shit no chance no chance she's got
to be less fake than kylie think about right right? Like, let's go through everything.
Maybe she got lips done.
I looked at the lips.
The lips are amazing.
She got great with fam.
Same with Kylie.
Can you call her fam?
Oh, you call her whatever you want.
What is the most like?
Al, could you call her my N-word?
Oh, yeah.
She's a nigga.
She's from Brazil, too.
Brazil.
Brazil's a niggas.
That's a fine ass N-word?
That's a fine nigga right there.
So, look. So So she has maybe fake lips
Maybe a little work done to the face
That being said nothing else seems like work done
Maybe pussy is not scooped
Blown out
What do you call it? Blown out?
Wait what?
Oh no she doesn't have a dick
So dick scooped
Dick scooped
Have you heard how they actually
make pussies no enlighten us this is crazy you uh you hold your nose and then you breathe in real
hard so you just go it's true you sit there on the doctor the doctor goes okay on the count of
three one two do you don't do that you're gonna fucking suck your dick in and have a pussy and on the doctor. The doctor goes, okay, on the count of three. One, two.
You don't do that. You're going to fucking suck your
dick in and have a pussy and then grow a dick again.
I can't sacrifice any
dick. That's why I breathe out of my mouth.
I'm like.
If you want Andrew to get a sex change, just hold his nose
while he laughs.
Every laugh.
I didn't know we were making a big mess joke.
I just put it together right now. I'm not your reason laugh here. while he laughs oh my god we gotta play we're gonna go back uh by the way fa oh god shout out to fa he sent me one of the funniest things anybody's ever sent me. We're going to get it back after this one. But remind me about the thing F.A. sent.
Okay?
Now, so here's the thing with Valentina Sampaio.
I think, and let me see.
Let's see if we're on the same page here.
Kylie Jenner, who has, I believe, fake boobs, fake ass, fake hips, fake jaw, fake nose, fake lips, everything.
This girl, fake puss, if she's tucked, we don't even know if she's tucked.
Right.
Right?
Right.
Fake puss, maybe lips.
This girl's technically more real.
Yeah.
Not more girl, but more real than Kylie.
100%.
So have all these girls in their plastic surgery, the Hollywood plastic surgery aesthetic, if
you will.
the Hollywood plastic surgery aesthetic, if you will,
have they opened the door to us cracking open trannies because they're just as fake or just as real?
Are women meeting trannies halfway?
And now it's become so normalized
and we're so used to body parts not being real
that once we see a dude with some body parts not real,
we're like, well, it's no different than the last girl I dated
that's a problem
ladies you did it
I'm just saying Brazilian trans lives matter
if you put that on
don't it make sense that the baddest bitch trans would be Brazilian
don't that make the most sense out of all this
bro it's so true this is the most sense out of all this?
Bro, it's so true.
This is the most woke he's ever been, son.
Am I woke?
You really want to fuck a dude right now, son. I don't want to fuck a dude.
I want to fuck that dude.
That dude.
That single guy could get some fucking neck.
Get some neck.
Real talk.
This guy right here, no doubt, no bullshit. If he gets out of bed too early when i'm not done
cuddling i'm grabbing by his dick and yank him right back i go yo val just back over here
look at this fine ass dude bitch are you kidding me are you kidding me
fine ass dude bitch.
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
Yo, she bad, dude.
She bad.
Shit.
She bad.
Shout out to y'all.
Y'all mad progressive.
Yo, we're progressive over here.
I'll try to act like I'm not progressive
and he quiet over here.
Yeah.
Mark, did he not lecture me
for like 20 minutes
about how I was backwards
in my trans thinking?
Oh yeah, what were those thinking?
What were those thoughts?
Son.
Yo, yo.
What were those thinking? Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Son. Oh, yeah Fucking sit in I got some things You can sit on bitch I have a nightmare
This shit is a wet dream yo
No bullshit
Bro it's true
Sometimes you need one to change
Like white people are like
Black people can't play baseball
and Jackie Robinson
came around
and they're like
they're pretty good
at baseball
you know
this is the
Jackie Robinson
let's round those
bases yo
take us home
yo no bullshit
you see her in the club
you point at the stands
like babe
I'm going yard
come on bro
Who built this bitch
I need to know the Frankenstein doctor out there in Brazil
To put her together
We need her on the map
Come on
There's a bomb ass doctor out there in Brazil
This is the role model man
This is what it is now
She's the Tesla bitches
Mark you wouldn't take it down?
Yes, yes.
You would?
Yes.
I'm not fucking mad clinical about it.
Yes, absolutely.
Imagine the second girl Mark has sex with.
Here's another guy.
I would get taken down.
I would take down.
Wait, you would let her split it open?
Shit.
You'd let her get shucked? You'd let her shuck open? You'd get shucked?
You'd let her shuck that clam, dog?
She could have some oysters for dinner with the red sauce?
That's your ass bleeding.
That was so graphic.
I didn't understand what the metaphor was, but now I understand.
The answer is yes.
It's still yes.
Bro, listen. You can't say no. I literally wish we could do call-ins right now. stand with the metaphors but now i understand the answer is yes it's still yes now it's bro
it's a why listen you can't say no i literally wish we could do call-ins right now i wish we
could have anybody who says no is lying so here's the thing you're saying no because you know if you
didn't know you're taking it down yeah think about if you didn't know who's a dude, you fucked uglier girls than that. Al? Of course.
I fucked the majority
of the women I fucked that have been
uglier than her. I feel confident
saying that. You can even say I got a thing for
ugly bitches.
Yo, why you like activists so much?
For real. yo why you like activists so much for real my voice is back by the way
I don't have that rhodes
I still want to get us tested on the podcast
we should get us tested right
for the antibodies
let's get her tested for a Y chromosome
I don't know if I believe it
I don't know if I believe that she's a dude man
I do not think she's a dude.
Even when she smiles, it's like a girl.
We got to hear the voice.
I think it also helps.
That's what I've been searching for because I'm going to ruin it for you when you hear her voice.
Go.
You got it?
If you don't see the pictures from before the transition, I think it helps our brains.
Just believe that's how it's always been.
Yeah.
Whatever, yo. You ain't never been with a girl who was ugly before puberty. It's it helps our brains. Just believe that's how it's always been. Yeah. Whatever, yo.
You ain't never been with a girl who was ugly before puberty.
It's the ugly duckling.
It's the ugliest duckling.
That's right.
Turned into the most beautiful swan.
Oh, my God.
Now, you make a good point.
Everybody has an ugly duckling face.
Hers was just as a guy.
Yeah, she was a...
And then she became beautiful.
Okay, you got it?
That's not her, though, Doc.
No, no, no.
She's being interviewed.
Okay.
I was so surprised and I feel, oh my God, really?
It's like a dream.
This is me a lot to me and not just for myself.
Please pause.
Please pause.
I told you.
I take back everything I've ever said.
I told you.
I take back everything I've ever said.
That's why I seen this yesterday.
So I can't be on board with y'all
Cause I heard this yesterday
But y'all fucking not
Y'all all wrecking, y'all all fucking not
Whatever son, I'm my ally
Progressive, I love it
Son, here's the thing that I've never understood
We need to get a trans person on this podcast so they can explain to me
They will change everything in their whole body but their voice
Look how easy it is to do a higher voice
Ready?
Hey, how are you?
You sound just like him
You sound just like him
Do a girl voice
Do your best girl voice
Go
Hello
Fucking Mickey Mouse
Oh boy
It's hard for me to go Do your best girl voice Just be a sexy on the phone with it. You're talking to a guy on the phone
Tell him describe your describe your pussy. All right, listen, I'll be the guy
Yo, babe, yo, babe, what's that alexandra media change your voice y'all talk sexy in your same voice you sound more like
beyonce
okay ready ready here it is ready okay this is how i talk sexy i'm like i'm like
hold on hold on let me get my sexy off
Did you hear that little pop?
Hey
Hey
Alexandra Media
What's that?
What's that?
Hatchet wound like
It's nice and wet
Bro he's got like a fucking nail style It's nice and wet.
He's got like a fucking nail style.
It's wet.
You have to wet it dry.
I'm sorry.
I don't got practice.
Talking like a woman.
How about you give it a try, buddy? Let's go.
Let's go.
Keep that going.
Pussy too wet.
Can't walk outside.
Have to let dry.
What color you want that dick?
That's what I can understand with the trans.
Look how hard it is.
Do your best girl voice.
Okay.
This is me talking.
Yo, what is up with this?
Come on, son.
I was better than that.
I would fuck me.
I ain't fucking that.
If people are just listening, that was me talking.
That wasn't a girl that was in here.
Thanks, Mark.
Thanks for clarifying.
I think that was pretty good.
All right, ready?
Alkosh, go.
Best girl voice.
Oh, God.
All right.
Yo, set the mood.
Holler at me.
Yo, let me live out fantasies here.
I got you.
Yo. No, come on. Yo, come on now. Come on. Come on. All right. Set the mood. Holler at me. Let me live out fantasies here. I got you. Yo.
No, come on.
Yo, come on now.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
All right.
Lakshmi.
Let me tell you.
Let me ask you something.
Ask me anything.
Wait a minute.
Okay.
Send me a picture of that tandoori oven.
You want a picture?
You want a naughty picture?
Yo, he's pretty good.
What is really interesting, if you're watching the video,
this is the only time I've ever seen Akash talk and then move his head.
Like Indians do.
You just became...
You're right.
You're dead ass right.
I couldn't believe it.
That's why I asked again.
I was like, he's not going to repeat it.
Sorry, you're dead ass right.
I was trying to be sassy.
All right, I got best girl voice.
You know what I did?
I just impersonated Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson impression.
But you don't think you'd be trying your whole life to figure that shit out?
Yeah, man.
Hey, sweetheart, how are you?
Yeah.
No, we should definitely go to the movies.
I sound like a guy?
I don't know. That was we should definitely go to the movies. I sound like a guy? I don't know what that sounds like.
That was pretty good.
Y'all are the best.
Yeah.
Daniel Day-Lewis changes the way he acts in every performance.
Yeah.
You had one role you're trying to fill your entire life.
You can't change the voice.
What is that shit called?
Methodist?
Yeah.
You're a Methodist actor.
Be Methodist.
It's funny because Jesus probably said I didn't finish
the sentence
so we're good
it's okay
they all know
you gotta get
that image
now her jaw
is looking mad
pronounced
real talk
we can't look
at that no more
but shouts to you
for looking fine
before
so what is this
why put
why put her in Sports Illustrated what is this like performative. So what is this? Why put her in Sports Illustrated?
Is this like performative progression?
Like what's going on here?
It seems kind of silly
that like a magazine
that made its entire name
off of objectifying women
is all of a sudden like,
yo, we're woke.
You get out ahead of it, man.
And it's actually,
she's the perfect person to do it with.
Technically, they're objectifying... Trans woman? woman a woman they're still about that life yeah they're just
opening up the scope i actually like that it's like a pimp going all right i've been pimping
women too long i gotta pimp some men we're not gonna stop pimping out here this is so progressive
i guess yeah it is interesting i just it's like the decent version of being progressive
because all right damn i'm gonna get killed but you know like plus size models to try to be
nobody know who you are i don't three uh three dms that's a kill so um you know plus size models
they like opened up models to include them yeah Yeah. And I think that's just too progressive.
It's like,
this is less progressive.
So this is actually like decent progression.
This is the right amount of progress.
Yes.
Because she still has the body of the clothes that you should aspire to have.
Boom.
And if all models are here for
is to get you to wear the clothes.
You guys said you would still hit.
So it's like,
yo, that is an interesting thing.
A model's job is just to look good in the clothes.
It's really not to have a dick or a pussy or titties.
It's literally to look good in the clothes.
So if this bitch looks good in clothes,
she's doing a job.
Yeah.
Once we can have robot models,
we're going to have robot models.
100%. Why do you want to deal with these fucking retards? You know what I mean? If you could just have robot models, we're going to have robot models. 100%.
Why do you want to deal with these fucking retards?
You know what I mean?
If you could just have a robot to it.
What do we have?
Mannequins at the store.
Back in the day, they probably paid some bitches to stand there.
And they're like, I don't want to do this no more.
So they got the mannequins.
Because literally, being a model is the closest you could be to a mannequin.
And they got those bot influencers.
What's that?
It's like AI influencer
It's like
You've seen it right?
Yeah I follow one of them
It's kind of weird
You would follow one of them
Wait wait wait
So it's a fake
Oh no it's a Japanese thing right?
They like created a fake person
Yeah
They give them a social media
Yeah
And they operate as a real person on social media
But they're not real
Yeah there's like a team of people
That update for the person
I forget the one I follow I can find it but like she's now like releasing music
really and they have like ghost writers and like ghost musicians like that's wild but the person
doesn't exist i mean that's the future that's definitely what's gonna happen do you think this
is gonna be bad for trans women dude it's all is that video al i can't i'm getting distracted i
actually looked up because i was like what are trans people saying about this like what do they
think and apparently there was like like the one distracted. I actually looked up because I was like, what are trans people saying about this? Like, what do they think?
And apparently there was like,
like the one trans thread I found on like this forum
was like not really into it.
Why?
Because they said that
one,
it is like increasing gender dysphoria
amongst trans people
because they were like,
like,
because like this is the exception.
Most trans people don't look like this
is what they were saying.
Trans people never had beauty standards
to aspire to. And the problem women say with these like victoria's secret etc it sets unrealistic
body images that i have to like try to get if you're trans this is super unrealistic yeah yo
this is the most this is more unrealistic than them victoria's secret bitches are to women
yes because those victoria's secret girls if you a woman, you can get there in terms of body shape.
Maybe you just diet, eat right, work out.
The genetics to overcome are way easier to overcome than this.
Imagine you're a girl with a beard like you,
and then you gotta be that?
That's the expectation?
Nah.
This requires hundreds of thousands of dollars.
That's a good question.
Are people with beards trans?
Or do they just go gay?
If you're trans, do you look in the mirror and be like nah i think i'm gay like i don't think i could get to train like you know
like when you're a basketball player you look at your skill level like i could play in europe
i ain't gonna make the league though right like i wonder i wonder if like somebody's like Greek, you know, like or Armenian trans,
like just mad hair everywhere.
Yeah, that's so funny.
I wonder if they're just like, I think I got to call it gay because I'm not going to make
it to trans with all the facial hair and everything.
Yo.
Does that make sense?
I kind of does.
Like they have a massive thing to overcome.
Right.
I assume once you
Stop taking the testosterone shit
Though that's like
Easier to overcome
Well I need to start
Taking that shit
Because my facial hair
Is looking shady at best
Both of y'all
That female voice
Was too good
Yo but now
Your fucking facial hair
Is amazing
You have this incredible beard
Beautiful lips
And nose
And eyes
Like an Indian masvidal
yo you give me masvidal's ass i shut the game down yo we were watching a fight right yeah
while my girl thought i was editing and we're at the studio watching the fight while my girl
thought i was at it and this dude got in the ring we're like man he cut 20 pounds of fucking weight
right you guys don't know what we're talking about.
Jorge Masvidal fought Kamaru Usman for the, I believe it's welterweight title.
The weight divisions are different in UFC and boxing.
And he had to cut 20 pounds.
Went to 190 to 170 to make weight.
And he went in the ring and he had the fatty, bro.
That Eddie Murphy. He had that he hauled a donkey bro that donkey
you know what i'm saying oh gosh yo i know what you're saying dog dude that backyard brawl
did he have the volkswagen son he did he had the Volkswagen?
Son, he did.
He had the fucking Yukon Denali back there, bro.
Ain't no Volkswagen Beetle.
My girl was out there with it.
Damn, man.
What happened?
I don't know, man.
I don't know if I should share this shit, but I think I should share it. We can cut it.
Nah, damn, bro.
All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second.
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So I'm looking for a ring for my girl
Obviously right Yep This bitch is gonna break up with me Promo code FLAYRANT. Go do it right now. Let's get back to the show. So I'm looking for a ring for my girl, obviously, right?
Right, yep.
This bitch is going to break up with me without even knowing what the fuck I'm doing.
Wait, what?
Because I'm lying around crazy to fucking learn about this ring.
I got to make up all these lies about doctor's appointments I'm not going to and different shit.
I got meetings.
Oh, I got to go meet Mark at this.
You know what I mean?
I got to go this with Alex.
I'm really going to this diamond shit i had to make up a show that i had a show and i had to travel
to dc because i got the ring in dc from uh yeah i was through the asshole that hooked me up yeah
you don't bother me though my girl was just like okay i was like bitch you don't care i'm leaving
for two days the fuck is this she wouldn't care but my point is i feel bad i'm lying to her and
she can kind of tell i'm lying a bit and then my dumb ass goes into this fucking is a fancy ass diamond place and they give you a little like um uh barcode
thing to get into the building that you have to press on the conveyor belt thing not conveyor
belt what is it turnstile my dumb ass just leaves that shit at the fucking table when i get back
home not thinking it's gonna have the name of the fucking company where i'm going to so then she saw
that so now we're not breaking up no more, but we weren't really going to break up.
Yeah.
But it was like,
she,
she knows at this point she knows it's a thing,
but that's what I think.
It's like,
I don't think we should be surprised at him.
It's too much risk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I truly believe that like you,
bro.
No,
like for real,
like think about the risk.
You weren't concerned.
Like you were doing some behind her back shit.
Nah,
man.
It felt great.
I love, I love lying to her and knowing, concerned like you were doing some behind her back shit nah man it felt great i love i love
lying to her and knowing and knowing she can't really be mad at me when she finds out like
what's the worst case scenario we get married bitch all right i'm lying to you positively what
if in the media in like the intermediate time right she like starts sucking this guy's dick
like what the fuck dude like you know it's your concern no but like it's your concern you
know you know what i mean she thinks you're cheating because you're out there in dc doing
these shows not my concern you know what i mean at all it's not your no she's like oh well he's
just gonna go dc well i'm just gonna go start sucking other guys dicks no you never thought
that never crossed your mind never i was so comfortable with it heard
now literally the the concern is holding a lie and i have this really transparent relationship
i have this really transparent relationship with my girl where like i don't really need a lie about
shit because i don't do any fuck shit right Right. Right. I remember back in the day.
When you're like dating.
You know.
Other girls and stuff like that.
And you're like looking at other girls shit.
And you're getting DM's.
That kind of stuff like that.
But I don't do that with her.
So that's the easiest thing.
I never got.
I leave my phone around.
She's got my password.
I could give a fuck.
But now I'm holding a little secret.
And it feels weird.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Your psyche changes a little bit.
My actual only concern was that she would find out. And it ruin the surprise i don't care about that was it that's all
i worried about and then she ended up finding my ring receipt too so i was like all right well
oh she's gonna find the receipt yeah i'm gonna leave the receipt in the box it's gonna open the
box and it's gonna say the receipt and then she's gonna have to move that out the way to get the
ring you got one yet say again no but when i do she's gonna know That's why I always ask her how much the tip is at the restaurant
We go out to dinner
We get the bill
I go, babe, how much do I tip for this?
That's great
I know how to tip
I tip when she's not there
But when that shit is like $40, I don't ask her how much the tip is
But when it's like $200, babe, what's the 20% of $200 that I spent on dinner?
You know what I'm saying?
You gotta know the effort.
Are you concerned about something, Alka?
No, no.
I was thinking about how,
I was wondering if I should say this.
Sometimes I'll say dollar amounts
and my girl will be like,
is that a lot of money?
And I'm like,
did you forget how money works?
Nah, sometimes.
Since you've been with me?
You know how like we need to take Americans
and then send them to live somewhere else in the world
so they can see what they got here?
I truly believe that we need to do that with women, but to live somewhere else in the world so they can see what they got here. I truly believe
that we need to do that
with women
but like with spending money.
Oh yeah.
They just spend money
for the whole week
and it only comes out
of their bank account.
Oh yeah.
That'd be so bad.
And then they just go
oh this is real out here.
It gets real out here bro.
Oh man.
You know what I'm saying guys?
Oh yeah.
It's her birthday coming up too.
I'm going to tell you something.
Are you going to get her anything?
Yeah man.
What you going to get her? That's like her that's like the most important day for her is her birthday coming up, too. I'm going to tell you something. Are you going to get her anything? Yeah, man.
What are you going to get her?
That's like the most important day for her is her birthday.
I didn't know women cared about birthdays.
I stopped caring 14.
Women care about birthdays, yo.
Did you just start dating women?
Yes.
It's my first girlfriend.
I was mass surprised.
I picked a fight on her birthday, and she was like, I can't believe you.
I was like, I don't give a fuck.
If it's your birthday, girl, I'm up.
And then I talk to more women.
They're like, you're a monster.
Yeah.
They do a whole week for their birthday.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
Narcissist.
Spent a whole week on your birthday.
That's crazy, right?
It's one day.
It's one day.
I'm going to spend you a month.
Though I will say this, though.
If your mother was in labor for more than 24 hours, I think you should get two days.
I think your birthday should be two days.
Take that in.
Dumb as shit, I've never heard.
Your mom should really be the one getting celebrated on your birthday.
Puss a little more.
Think I want to be in here half puss, half not?
Do you know what I'm saying?
Do you really think I want this?
I'm sitting here like an acorn. Wait, you think being in labor means your head is sticking out huh you think being in labor
means your head is sticking up yeah what do you mean you could like be in the process of labor
but the baby hasn't crowned yet so it's like it don't count yes but i'm talking about squeezing
out the baby yeah that's usually quick.
Your mom was in labor for like four days, huh?
Just pushing out a nose.
She looked like a shark fin.
My nose literally sliced her pussy to her asshole wide open.
It was just one gaping hole as my nose came out.
But no, for real, for real.
As my nose came out.
But no, for real.
For real.
You're telling me that most of the delivery is not squeezing the baby out?
Yes.
So what are these women crying about?
The whole stretching part.
Dilating it? Yeah.
We can't dilate that?
There's no drops?
No, for real. There's no drops no for real
there's no drops
you can just put some lemon
in there or something like that
you can't squeeze a lemon on it
and it opens up
you can't just go like that
with a lemon
like you take the lemon
that got the mesh on it
so no seeds get inside
oh yeah that's more
you know what I'm saying
and then you just squeeze it
on the pussy lips
and the pussy lips
just start opening up
yeah
like a penis fly trap
that's it
why are we waiting to dilate when you got citrus just squeeze the lemon and the pussy lips just start opening up. Yeah. Like a penis fly trap. That's it.
Why are we waiting to dilate when you got citrus?
Just squeeze the lemon on that pussy.
No, for real.
That's a vitamin C for that pussy? That's a vitamin C.
I mean that.
So then, so what you're saying is
most of the labor is her just breathing,
doing that shit. Why we gotta teach women how to breathe, bro? What're saying is most of the labor is her just breathing, doing that shit.
Yeah.
Why we got to teach women how to breathe, bro?
What the fuck is going on?
You know what I'm saying?
You got a whole class about breathing.
This birth shit is a racket, ain't it?
It's a racket.
Yo, you got classes on breathing.
You go to a class and some dude that never gave birth ever is like, okay, this is how you breathe.
In with the air, out with the air we'll see you
next tuesday get the fuck out of here like i'm going to that shit llamas class i ain't going to
no llamas class it's like we've been giving birth for millions of years yeah all the time and all
of a sudden now we need like classes on how to give birth come on bro no one taught you how to
shit no one taught you how to shit akash no you you how to shit, Akash. I think you did get taught how to shit.
No, you don't.
I was shitting in my diapers before anybody helped me.
Thank you.
But the wiping part.
What?
The wiping part.
Yeah, but that's, you do it.
It's toilet training.
It's not.
Why don't you just grab paper and do it yourself?
I'm going to be honest with you right now.
No one ever trained me how to wipe.
I'm dead ass.
I learned that myself
I believe it
Tell him why
Tell him why
Son he has streaks
I always have streaks
When I shit I don't shit down
I come with such velocity
My asshole I have a hemorrhoid.
So the hemorrhoid is at the front of my asshole.
So it actually tweaks the colon.
Oh, it's a rapid.
Yeah, it comes out like that.
It's a rapid.
It's a rapid.
Like a slide in a water park.
It's a slide in a water park.
100%.
It's like when you wash a spoon in the sink.
Exactly.
Yes.
That's what it is.
So that being said, nobody ever taught me that
i never learned a lot of things and i worked out just fine look you're still struggling
with shit to this day you know what that's true exactly but i have multiple shits a day
and they're effective
all right you got it i'm just saying Do you think you could give birth, Argosh?
No.
No.
That's women's work.
But do you think you could?
That's like the most never.
If push came to shove.
No.
That's the one thing they can do that we can't.
It's the one.
No, I don't do that shit.
You think you could do birth, Al?
I've had some.
That's because you've been fucked so much, your ass holds super wide open.
I've had some bad shits before that was very close to childbirth.
You think you could give birth, Mark?
I mean, no.
Can you imagine a nine-pound shit?
Say what?
Can you imagine a nine-pound shit?
I've shit nine pounds.
Yes, I've come close to that.
You've never had it where it just keeps spiraling and shit like that?
I've shit my height in a day, guaranteed.
Like, if you stretch it all out straight, it would be my height.
I don't think I could give birth.
I wouldn't want to, but it seems like you probably just wouldn't be able able to figure it out right like you just your body would be like yeah i mean
yeah autopilot you're not gonna leave it in there that's what i'm saying jesus takes a wheel and
you just fucking let it rip yeah let jesus do it now moms deserve all the credit women who don't
have kids whatever y'all hanging out but mom's mom's who the fuck is this guy first he's blowing
trannies in the beginning of the podcast. I'm a mama's boy.
You know this about me.
You know what I'm saying?
This guy loves trannies, bro.
Who don't?
Yeah, you're right.
No, no.
I'm with you on that.
Giving birth is unbelievable.
I'm a mama's boy, so I always look at women like, if you don't have kids and you're a
feminist, I'm like, what's so hard about this?
You're just hanging out.
Once you had kids, you done been through it.
Yeah.
You done went to war.
She's chilling.
My little baby right there.
Anyway, what else we got going on, man?
We got a lot of shit.
Should we talk about the Will and Jada thing?
You guys watched the Red Table Talk?
No, I got a question about the Will and Jada thing.
This is quite interesting.
Flip the roles.
Flip the roles.
Let's say Will Fucks
Jaden's friend
That's a girl
That's 23 years old
Jaden
Who they helped
Jaden
Because
Jaden is the
Jaden is the kid
Yeah
And this guy
What's his name
August Alsina
August Alsina
Was Jaden's friend
That's how Jaden met him
And they helped him
Through a drug problem
Like he came to you broken imagine
a girl came to will's family like broken one of willow's friends one of will or jayden's friend
don't matter but like young will uses his power and influence to take advantage of her dates her
i think we're having a completely different conversation about that. Now Jada uses her power and influence.
The kid literally was a drug act or some shit,
right?
Use her power and influence manipulates potentially this kid.
And she is the queen of the internet.
She's future.
She's all these different memes about what a bad-ass entanglement is a new
hashtag.
Every all I'm,
I'm,
I'm not cheating.
I just got an entanglement,
all this kind of shit.
It is very interesting to see women not be as, let's say, protective of August Alsina as they might be some chick.
Who was super in love with her.
He's still heartbroken.
Still heartbroken.
Because she took him broken.
Yeah.
Manipulated him.
Still not over it.
Now, that being said, I think he's a grown ass man.
He got to figure that shit out himself
boom
I'm just saying the energy
would be totally different
don't you guys think
if it was Will Smith
that did that to one of Jaden's
female friends
very valid point
right
yes
yes
yeah
right
100%
but he was
how old was he
25
23
23
no look
over 18
you're a grown up
you gotta figure that shit out
like if we could send you to war
we could send you to Smith's house
but what would the public perception be
the public perception
if Will did it
what would all these ugly girls
with short hair on the internet say
what would the short haired
ugly girls
that have their hair dyed blonde
or not blonde
red
what would they say
and they have no upper lip
usually it's purple
purple
whatever
what would those girls say
yeah they would call them a monster
they got all the opinions
about relationships
they've never been in don't they right like it's crazy bro like damn that's so
foul why couldn't that be me 100 it is an interesting energy i hated watching this
shit yo i couldn't jada's so phony to me now my question i had both are to me huh they both are
you think they're phony?
Son, it was like.
I think Will didn't want to be there at all.
Oh, absolutely.
Then she sat him down and then she said the entanglement shit.
I had the entanglement with August and Will was like, entanglement?
She's like, yeah.
And then he said, you cheated essentially.
And she goes, that's what I said.
No, bitch, it's not at all what you said.
He said you had a relationship.
Yeah.
She said, that's what I said.
No, bitch, that's not what you said at all.
This is the fakest bitch on the internet. Whoa. the fakest bitch on the internet whoa the fakest bitch on the internet
talk your entire platform is being honest real talk helping other people and then she says in
this thing i think one thing she says it's a lie and we have to fact check this but she said i
didn't talk to him for four years i think he was on red table talk like a year ago talking about
addiction but anyway even if that's not true,
she says,
this was very healing for me
to go through this
and I learned a lot about myself.
Which first of all is,
if any guy said that again,
it would be like,
get the fuck out of here.
You're just a cheater.
Yo, I needed to heal
by fucking 23 years old.
Yes, 100%.
Hey, when I cheated on you
with that 18 year old,
I was healing.
I was learning about myself.
Listen, I got my dick sucked,
right, in a Bennigan's, but I was healing when I did that. myself. Listen, I got my dick suck, right? In a Bennigan's,
but I was healing when I did that.
You have to understand when the waitress was sucking my dick in the bathroom of a Bennigan's,
it was healing for me.
The awesome blossom sauce on my dick.
Awesome blossom sauce.
Really,
really had a meditative effect.
And babe,
the meal was about a hundred dollars.
How much I tip on this shit?
You already tipped, bro.
But for real, though.
Here's my point.
Your show's about honesty and healing.
If this was healing for you,
you could have very easily shared it
throughout this entire process of filming this series.
What, two years it's been on?
And you had Will on
talking about relationship difficulties before,
but you never shared it.
Why?
Because you always needed to be
put together, perfect Jada,
and you're not. You're a fucking phony.
And if you were honest, you would help a lot
more people, but you don't give a fuck about helping people.
You give a fuck about looking perfect.
Oh, shit. Fuck you, bitch.
And Will, too, if it's an open relationship,
I'm gonna be honest,
I think she just made him do that shit and was like, alright, let me give her
a career to shut her ass up. Yo, Mark says something
interesting once,
one time,
about open relationships.
No,
I thought this was really interesting.
People always go
when like a famous guy
and his wife
have an open relationship,
right?
Yeah.
People are always like,
nah,
it's okay,
they have an open relationship.
She's okay with it,
they have an open relationship.
Right.
No,
they have an open relationship
and then Mark goes once,
you think if he was like, hey, we should not have an open
relationship anymore.
She'd be like, damn.
You know what I'm saying?
You don't want that.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
You want.
Now, I don't know about the Smiths per se, because apparently from what I've heard, they're
both out there just getting cracked and cracking cheeks.
Right.
Like, I think Will's doing him.
We've been hearing that for 15 years.
Yeah. Will's doing him. He just looks like a c hearing that for 15 years. Yeah, Will's doing him.
He just looks like a cuck because we don't know about his business because he knows how
to handle his side pieces.
So is this the most, like, the savviest move for him is to come on and look like the good
guy?
Like, the most alpha move is actually like, all right, let me come on.
Let me do this thing.
Look like a good guy.
And then I'm going to go fuck whoever.
Yo, real talk.
Attention is currency now.
He missed the 4th of July.
Everybody's talking about them.
That's what they want.
Listen, listen.
There is maybe some fundamental differences between the Smith family and the Kardashian family.
We spoke about this a long time ago with the Kardashians coming for the – sorry, the Smiths coming for the Kardashians.
They want to be the first family of the internet or the first family of America right and they're going about it from what we see as like a way more in a way more like positive
direction right it might be phony like you're saying but at least it is a show about healing
let's get better empowerment let's have this great family dynamic let's do things that we need to do
to feed our soul etc right they're like if you add in some like Oprah elements you know what I mean
like and that being
said they wouldn't do it in front of the camera they didn't want attention for it so they are
monetizing this are they monetizing the positivity behind it sure at the end of the day who gives a
fuck if you get more out of it that's fine it is interesting to see though that even through
tragedy you will get matter of, you get even more clout
and more attention in tragedy.
I wonder what happens next with them when they go,
oh, we were really popping when there was some drama.
We're not really popping when we're getting people
over their pill addiction.
But when we got some fucked up shit going on in the family,
everybody was watching.
Hey, Jaden, you might want to go public
about that little drug addiction you got.
Hey, Willow, you might want to go public about that little drug addiction you got. Hey, Willow, you might want to go public about that older boyfriend you got.
I wonder if they tasted.
Are these real rumors?
No, no, I'm making things up.
I wonder if they get a little taste of the dark side, the dark force.
They get a little taste of that Kardashian fame.
Right, but you know in Star Wars how the force.
Oh, yeah, the dark side.
The dark side, you're like, ooh, that shit's tasty.
The black Spider-Man outfit, you're like, ooh, this power feels good right i wonder if they get a taste if
they start leaning in when it makes sense like this was the most viewed facebook video i think
of like all time like in terms of like velocity they're not going back these say what you want
about these people and by these people i mean entertainers, but specifically the Smith family.
If you're in entertainment, you have some sort of addiction to attention.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Ourselves included.
We're in this.
Once you get that taste, it takes unreal discipline to not lean into it.
Yeah.
It's one of the things I think that we're actually exceptional at this, if we can toot our own horn here. We know that we can have a porn star on this show every single week, and it's going to the things I think that we're we're actually exceptional at this if we can toot our own horn here
we know that we can have
a porn star on this show
every single week
and it's gonna do
insane views
but we haven't
we specifically talk about
the things we wanna talk about
and how we wanna talk about them
we shun money
if it doesn't go against it
we really kept our integrity
it's hard for motherfuckers
to do that
it's hard to
especially when your movies
are flopping
Will hasn't had a hit
in a minute
bro it's been a long ass.
I don't think Jada ever had a hit.
I don't even know what she does.
Jada's hit was Will.
Jada's hit was Will, real talk.
She's had a lot of classic movies.
Ain't nobody watch Woo except me.
And only for Tommy Davidson.
She's had movies, but she hasn't had a hit.
What's your lowdown dirty shame?
She hasn't had a huge hit recently, I would say.
My homie said it well.
If it wasn't for Will, you would just be that girl who was on a different world for a couple of seasons.
Wow.
I don't think so.
What was she doing before that?
I don't think so.
Fuck.
That's her credit is Will.
She was in Madagascar.
After Will.
Oh, we're talking about only after Will?
Just talk before Will.
What was her hits?
What year was that where she got with Will?
Late 90s.
Okay, so everything prior to 98 was...
Different world, low down dirty shame.
The nutty professor.
The nutty professor.
I think that was after Will too, I think.
Oh, no, maybe it was...
Menace to society.
There's no question like having an incredibly powerful
and famous husband is going to help you with your career.
Yeah.
Right?
Hillary Clinton.
That being said, you could also do things that are
great and she did things prior to him etc the thing is are they going to be able to take a
taste of this and turn it down i i don't know i'm not sure i think so to an extent i think uh
my interpretation of this is that they just love to control the narrative the reason why they came
to the table is because the narrative was getting out of their hands that they just love to control the narrative the reason why they came to
the table is because the narrative was getting out of their hands like they're nice because they lied
about it yeah they lied about the narrative though yeah but i hear but i hear what you're saying i
think you're on it keep so this is because we've never really seen will do this will doesn't have
to address any rumors about him he's always just stayed people call will gay for fucking decades
never addressed it yeah but this one is like yo okay now it's affecting home it's affecting uh the kids most likely and shit
like that like and there's so much attention and shit is a little dry right now we can spin this
in a way where we come out on top it's a learning what's it called like i'm learning moment or some
shit like that put this out whereas i'm pretty sure she got the fucking whoever tristan thompson cheated on with
the jordan whatever she got that bitch on faster and she put out her own thing do you think it
affects movie rules for him if he looks like a bitch if he looks like he's like simping for jada
it's interesting he can't be a leading man like you know how they like blackball like gay dudes
from being leading men yep like i don't think so because at the end of the day people are still
clapping like oh he's he did the right thing
Jada made this little mishap
and he came to the table as a man
and like
there was one line where
Will said I'm gonna get you back
and Jada was like you did, you did plenty
that's his way of
saving his manhood within the crafted statement
you watched the whole thing?
it's 12 minutes
I watched the whole long? It's 12 minutes.
It's 12 minutes.
I watched the whole long one.
I'm a gay.
There's way... 40 minutes I already watched one.
I can't get 12 more
to refute the 40 minutes?
There's way more to this story.
Like, way more to this story.
Yeah.
Because in the beginning
they talk about like,
oh, we were at the point of
not even knowing
if we were going to speak again.
And the public
didn't know about this.
And that was her spin
is we were separated. August didn't ask for your permission because he didn't know about this. And that was her spin, is we were separated.
August didn't ask for your permission because he didn't need your permission.
We were separated.
That's her, I did okay.
So August lied about permission.
Yeah, which is, he would tell the truth about the affair,
but lie about getting permission?
That seems weird to me.
No, but then she addressed that too.
Because she said, so when they first, I guess, started to fuck
or whatever the case was, Will wasn't even in the picture.
But then Will started to come back into the picture.
So they had a talk just to like, you know, like, we're cool, whatever the case is.
Because she did address that.
Like, she can see how he might have took it as asking for permission.
But it was really just on some, let's just clear the air so shit isn't weird around here.
I don't believe that either.
Nobody asked Jaden. Jaden. Jaden. Ask his permission, yo. some let's just clear the air so shit isn't weird around here i don't believe that either nobody
asked jayden jayden jayden ask his permission yo i actually smoke i believe i believe everything
august said really yeah why would he lie outside of promoting the album i mean that's a big reason
why yo what's weird is that i haven't heard a single song off this fucking album has anyone
listened to that one no is that shit good i good? I don't know. They redirected, I mean, he must
have written a song. You gotta give her some
bars. Here's what I would say, though.
From what I thought, my perception of
August Alsina, is I would see his name and I'd be like,
yo, I think this guy puts out good music. I remember
liking some of it before, but he hadn't cracked
off. Why does nobody know who he is? Now
we know who he is. This seemed like the missing
element was attention, and then here you go.
Imagine your claim to fame was fucking a 50-year-old woman.
It's also Will Smith's wife.
You snatched up
Will Smith's wife.
That's different.
She is stunning
for her age.
Her mom is gorgeous.
You've seen
David's mom?
That's why it's like
there's plenty of points
for that.
And it's Will's wife.
You took Will Smith's wife.
He didn't take
Will Smith's wife.
That's what the narrative
is saying.
Will Smith and his wife were broken up and then i think started dating him i think that part i don't know if that part is true i think my interpretation of what he said
the first time is we had they have an open relationship will was cool with it and then
they the smiths were like all right how do we spin this we don't want this open relationship
shit out there public that's so how do we spin this? That's right. Either that or she cheated while they were separated and she filed for that.
How much,
how much do you think
this had to deal with
both of her kids
now being out of the house,
having their own
independent lives
and like being adults
and her wanting to like
nurture and take care
of something like
empty nest syndrome
I think it's called.
How much do you think
it was that?
I don't know. But this is four years ago. I think they were still in the house at that age there's one it's four years four years ago i don't think it was still in in the grip they were
the nest wasn't the thing that was empty i don't know i think she i'm just i'm just saying like
and they speak about their house they can be in the same house and not see each other like she'd
be at this end of the house right at that end so i just feel like i don't know i just feel like it's it's really tricky for for moms when they
go from like their entire life like sustaining a child and like raising a child and keeping that
child alive and all of a sudden that child is gone it's like all this purpose is removed she
wasn't happy before not questioning happiness yeah what happened is but a child can distract
you from
your unhappiness because it is something to do every single second of every single day it's often
why people who are unhappy have kids they're in bad relationships they're like hey let's have a
kid maybe this kid will save our relationship very common and it creates tons of problems
but you can ignore the problems when you're focused on keeping this fucking thing alive
yeah and i wonder if dating the younger guy who needed a lot of like emotional coaching and like nurturing was
the perfect relationship in the same way that like like i look at gay dudes and i'm like man you guys
got the fucking best relationship right because it's just you guys like sports and shit everything
you like is the same and you've like fucking each other it's just the best right it's just the best it's the ideal since like my girl wants to watch cooking shows all day
some gay guy not gonna do that he gonna put on a fucking redskins game well not redskins anymore
but you know what i mean yeah so it's like maybe that's the ideal relationship for her she's like
i get to get cracked out by this thing and raise it like i wonder if on some level she's like this
is perfect i have empty nest this thing is gonna
fill the nest and i get to nurture as well even if her kids live with her they're very independent
and there is a part of her i think that's broken my homie said it well because he was like i dated
a girl like that where like they present themselves like strong black blah blah blah
independent don't need nothing those girls are usually the most broken so if you're broken you
know what can help you feel better? It's fixing somebody else.
That can give you some purpose.
I wonder if we want to bail out Jade even more.
She wants to help him and nurture him.
I'm not bailing this bitch out at all.
I'm saying if we wanted to, she wants to help someone.
She wants to nurture something.
And then it's August that's like, yo, she's being really nice to me.
And she's really making me feel important.
Yeah.
He's the one that's like, yo, are we fucking?
Yeah, that's really what it is 100% failing she was looked at him just like a little toy and then she cut him off and
then that's when he started making music about her because like in his previous album he had a song
about their relationship coded though he didn't say his her name or whatever right and that shit
didn't hit so he was like no i'm coming out call it back came out a while ago i thought and then
i still we should fact check this but again I think
she was on his fucking
he was on her show
last year
so she says
at the beginning
we haven't talked
in four years
no no
they're making tons of shit
and this whole shit
was edited
you can see some cuts
and shit like that
so it's definitely
it was longer
I don't trust none of these
I can help you
I'm on TV motherfuckers
I don't trust Dr. Phil
Oprah ain't shit
I've been saying that
Jada's just a new Oprah to me.
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Wait a minute.
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No.
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Let's get back to the show.
Let's transition a little bit here.
Back to the swimsuits?
No.
The Redskins have said they're going to change their logo.
Yeah.
Logo or team name?
Both. Yeah, team name.
Team mascot, logo, everything changing.
Okay.
Does it still reflect Native Americans?
I think the money is on them going to Washington Warriors.
I think they've already trademarked the name.
So it's still a Native American.
And Native Americans have a problem with that.
Can I say something?
Okay, go.
So they said they wanted to change the name
to something that honored Native Americans.
Yeah.
And whoever speaks for Native Americans,
they're like, nah, we don't want anything to do
with the team at all.
Because it's like it mixes. i forgot the word they use like it's like hey you can say
negative things about this team like i hate the blank right so i i spoke to a bunch of native
americans about this right because a lot of them dm me yeah and i was like yo so what's the deal
and they were like when we see the mascots i think we spoke about it maybe on patreon right yeah and
it was like when we see the the logos we look at it kind of in the same way like black people look at
blackface in terms of the the sambo character yeah where it's this like cartoonish version of us
cleveland indians one for sure i can cleveland indians one is the most absurd one now you know
he's like i'm sure there's certain ones that aren't cartoonish and then we actually like that
we're like oh that's sick that kind of like reflects my ancestry that kind of stuff is fine so it's a case-by-case basis but
um like you said the black hawks the black hawk tribe gave permission to chicago right i think
the seminoles gave permission as well so there's certain people give from or certain drives give
permission but it's interesting thing with the um the the redskin specifically because like
and i've been thinking about this a lot this week
you know that the colonizers must have felt they were fighting with unfair tactics
if you're gonna give credit to the native americans and name a lot of shit after them
does that make sense yes yeah because like like, yeah, it's like,
if you had a tough fight with somebody,
it's fucked them forever.
Like, it's fucked Nazis forever.
It's fucked,
like anybody that you beef with,
like Armenia and like Turkey,
it's fucked each other forever.
Greece and Turkey,
it's fucked each other forever.
Ain't no,
hey, we got to name some shit after,
you know, these Greek guys
because they're pretty good at fighting.
Yeah.
It's a fair fight. Fuck them. or something right something's handing out blankets to give
them diseases as gifts you're like yeah i don't know how much of that is true i i read about that
like that wasn't just a general point yeah you're fighting unfairly you might feel a little bit like
i was kind of i think the unfair amount of fighting was technological so like i think like when you
have guns and these motherfuckers are throwing bow and arrows and they're still putting up a
good fight you're like all right man you got to give it up to them like they're warriors they're
warriors exactly i would say like england like america's fight for independence we still have
new york we still have like english street english town like there's all this british shit here
and i don't think the revolutionary war was like easy.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
But,
oh yeah.
Okay.
But then that kind of,
yeah,
but that would be like if they won,
if England won,
that'd be like if the native Americans won.
No,
no,
but I mean,
America won.
And then we still honor in a fair fight,
England by naming some of the shit after them.
But it was already named.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Nobody renamed the shit after England.
Yeah.
And also, that's totally different because your ancestry is there.
So you have some connection to your family.
It's like if an Italian neighborhood, you want to name a street Giuseppe Street.
It's because you love Giuseppe who lives in Sicily or something like that.
Right.
Like you have some connection
even though you fought
the motherfuckers
in World War II
you still got a connection
natives got no connection
whatsoever
I don't know
it's just something
it's just something
so odd to me
like if there was
that much beef
if there was that much hatred
if there was that much racism
there was this horrible
treatment of Native Americans
why the fuck
we naming everything
after them
like college teams
high school teams
professional teams
streets town like you don't
gotta name streets you can name a street numbers yeah most streets are named numbers yeah but they
go out of the way to go manahara yeah montmont talk all these different places like it's not
like we haven't renamed shit matter of fact native americans they owned everything and we named a lot
of it this is is called Fifth Avenue.
It wasn't called Fifth Avenue back in the day.
Right.
So what the fuck?
Something's weird, right?
Why would you have so much reverence for a group of people that you treated so shitty?
Does that make any sense?
I mean, is it possible that the way we remember history isn't the way it actually was?
So I think that is the exact truth of the matter.
So what are we missing from the historical record here?
What are we missing from the historical record with Native Americans?
There's a missing piece to this puzzle.
If you hate and treat people so horribly like we did, you don't have the same reverence to name so many things after them.
It's off are you like comparing the way
america acts towards native americans and then the way america acts towards african-americans no
i'm just saying the way that made that america has treated native americans right
is it doesn't seem consistent with how many things we name after them and things that we look up to
it's not like you're naming shit that you're like embarrassed about you're naming your team which is all your
state's pride or your college team which is all your college pride but i think america feels they
did right by the native americans by designating land to them and you don't have to pay taxes
oh so you you think america was like oh you part of now and we think you're pretty cool so we'll just name you
this shit after you
I think they say
we made shit right
huh
again we gotta get a name
there's this native guy
I believe his name is Bobby
I'm gonna mess up the last name
but uh
I'm gonna reach out to him
and we'll get him on
to answer some of these questions
because it is peculiar right
yeah I mean
would Indians just name
some shit after like
I was thinking it could be like
oh we give them a team name
so we're even
so it's their donations it's like their reparations in their mind Would Indians just name some shit after like Penn State? No, I was thinking it could be like, oh, we give them a team name, so we're even.
So it's their donations.
It's like their reparations in their mind.
Like if you ask them, what do you think Black people deserve for slavery?
They'd be like, I don't know, like a hundred bucks.
Oh my God.
A couple of Laffy Taffys.
Hey, we're going to build this school on your native burial lands.
But.
But you know what we're going to do?
We're going to name it, the Chiefs is going to be Damascus.
Lucky y'all.
Oh shit. All good, good right we're good so it's a token performative yeah uh you know thanks yeah performative uh
act of progress but it's really bullshit yeah like the casinos i well not casinos is real
that's reparation they make money that's a fucking mint yeah but i mean they're not really making
money off of it they could if they got the shit together knew how to do it that's on them but like giving someone the right to have
a casino is like literally just a printing press can't lose i mean we're gonna make gambling legal
everywhere soon but so we'll see how long it lasts but the idea was yeah you can here you go
make money is it possible navy america just called that shit the names way back in the day and that's
just what everyone called it for hundreds of years? Not basketball teams.
Yeah, but like the Redskins were formed in like 1940.
Whatever, the Redskins.
No, but I'm saying like,
yeah, Redskins maybe,
but like if you're in like Seminole, Florida or whatever,
and you're like,
oh yeah, that's Seminole country up there.
That's where the Seminole Indians are or whatever.
Yeah, some of it.
And then you're like Seminole,
like Montauk, same thing.
Like if that's like,
Indians are like,
yo, this is Montauk.
And then everyone's like,
oh, what's that place called?
Oh, it's called Montauk.
Yeah, yeah, I think that's what that is. And so then when you describe like a team or something you're like
oh yeah what's the team name like oh this is just what people from around some of it sure but then
the Cleveland Indians the Washington Redskins the Kansas City Chiefs right like these aren't tribes
it would be the Montauk swimmers or the Montauk surfers or whatever it's not the Montauk Native
Americans you got no Native Americans on the team it's just Right. Something's going on here and I think you guys
might be onto it.
Yeah.
It's this like fake gift.
It's reparations.
Yeah, an interesting thing
that happened,
this Supreme Court ruling
that half of Oklahoma,
yeah,
is like considered
a Native American reservation.
So they can't be charged
with crimes
and civil situations
within that area.
So basically,
Native American
go up, shoot you,
and they can't do anything.
I think there's something tricky with that.
It's like they can't be charged with city or state crimes,
but I think they still are under federal designation, right?
Oh, maybe probably federal, yeah.
But yeah, that's true.
Speeding tickets, all that kind of shit,
because they have their own police.
Yeah.
That's wild.
And I think that you could look this up to make sure,
but there is something interesting.
I think that Tesla has a factory there. Look this up to make sure, but there is something interesting. I think that Tesla has a factory there.
Look this up to make sure.
And then someone was like, yo, Elon,
how you feel about the fact that your factory is on native land now?
And that might be really interesting because they could be like,
yo, we're going to need a little piece of that.
I think.
That'd be great.
I think they're making a pitch to Tesla.
They're making a pitch to Tesla to bring it.
There's a guy that did that in the Dirty Money series onflix okay it's so good he's i forgot what he was but he basically like
set up a company and hit up these native american chiefs they were like yo you want to be a founder
and they were like oh that's brilliant what do i gotta do and he's like oh nothing i'm just gonna
funnel my company through you give you a hundred thousand a year for nothing they fell for the
founding trick again and get that's get yo you want to found america
no it's gonna work out no it's more like you found america appreciate you your job is done it's safe
but apparently that should work though or like yeah they were getting money and they were getting
crazy kickbacks and tack rebates and all that stuff that's why like you ever see dudes on the
street selling hats or selling like shirts or whatever like that. There's one old dude that got a necklace with a badge on it.
Yeah.
And it's permission to sell.
And I think it's easier to get those if you're a veteran.
Right.
So they're giving certain people the ability to sell things on the street.
Obviously, there's so much street traffic in New York City.
Right.
You know, those are very coveted.
Yeah.
But there's only two things you could sell that aren't that you don't need a badge for
Christmas trees and books.
You could just sell
Christmas trees and books
on the streets of New York.
But everything else,
art, records,
all these different things
we'd see growing up watching.
So what I think
a lot of people do
is they find a veteran
and go,
yo, you want to just
sit here with us?
We'll do all the work.
Or we'll partner up on it.
And you can make money
on the street.
Son, if you're doing
the tax thing
when Native Americans,
if the idea is I don't have to pay federal tax or whatever,
if a corporation gets taxed at 30% and makes $10 million,
that's $3 million.
Why don't I just pay you a million?
Yo, I profit too.
You get a million.
Let's go.
Bro, literally, you could say I give you $3 million.
Yeah.
And it's even.
Yeah.
And you don't got to deal with the IRS breathing down your neck
every two seconds, aud auditing you all that shit
you could give them all the money just for not
having a headache I even think there's subsidies
that go along with it too oh that's right
because you want to build up that land
if you're like a native owned company
like you get government stuff
you want to do black reparations
black reparations
take Atlanta
you'd think they would give us Atlanta
nah I mean you keep on breaking shit take Atlanta son you'd think they would give us Atlanta nah
exactly
come on
I mean
if y'all keep
breaking enough shit
they might be like
alright
the 40 acres
fuck the mule
just give us the land
what neighborhoods
do black people want
go
son real talk
we could take
any land
as long as not like
Alaska
some shit like that
nah cause you know
how picky black people are
we would have the funniest
cold out here.
We're everywhere.
Roy would have the funniest premise. He said, what if we all took our stimulus
checks as black people and just bought Montana?
That's ours.
Montana's, that's black land now.
What do you do? See, you pick a
place that most of us don't even know where it is on the map.
I don't know where Montana is. Well, it can't be a place
white people want, man. You gotta negotiate.
White people love Montana.
That's white people's shit. It's like 12 white people want, man. You got to negotiate. White people love Montana. Don't they? They only want to see it. That's white people's shit.
It's like 12 white people in Phil Jackson.
This is what white people do, though.
They front, because I went to Montana.
What Montana does is it doesn't do any PR for Montana.
They specifically want to-
Oh, they Iceland Greenland that shit.
Yup.
What about the Dakotas?
Dakotas are trash?
Yo, you could get a-
South Dakota.
You could get a South.
South Dakota.
You could get a South.
And y'all love South sides.
Yo, that could be kind of lit. South Dakota. South Dakota. You could get a South. And y'all love South Sides. That's what I'm saying.
Yo, that could be kind of lit.
Black people go, just give us one place.
We're going to build that shit up ourselves.
And then you have crazy tax subsidies.
You have all this other shit.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a friendly South for once?
Yeah, bro.
A South where you're accepted as equal.
Bro, black people got to take South Dakota.
Say again?
We would definitely do that.
Think about it.
All the cuisine, the food. You could do grills. There could be such nah for real you gotta go both grills traeger and
paul wall paul wall's allowed to live there you showing your age girls ain't even in no more son
girls are still in they're not in no more son come on i'm a black man yo come on i know about
grills dog grills are popping.
You should wear yours.
You got a set, right?
I do got a set.
Same.
I'm not used to that.
I got one on Wildin' Out
and then I got one from Paul Wall.
Come on, son.
These grills,
it is what it is.
Look,
but I think that is an interesting idea.
Take the land
and then give the,
whatever rules you are allowed to have
on your land,
dictate the success of that land.
Son, will there be a louder state than South Dakota?
Son, imagine being North Dakota.
Like, yo, can you turn it down?
North Dakota knocking on the fucking border wall.
Can we build a dome?
They start calling all North Dakota Karen.
All Dakotas matter, guys.
Yo, this is fire, bro
I think that's the move
So forget defund the police
Y'all can have your own police
Oh, there you go
I'm with it
I'm with it
If we have land
A good amount, too
It's a whole state
It's a Dakota
Now you're getting picky, bro
We don't know how big that shit is
Bro, you gotta negotiate
From a position of leverage
Yeah
Your leverage is guilt and guilt alone.
Yeah.
With 13% of the population,
give us a state that's 13% of the land.
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
Yeah.
Why not?
All right, fine, but then all y'all gotta move there.
Not all of us.
Then no.
You can give me 13% and not all y'all are moving there.
All right.
10.
I like how we're America.
You see how we already bullied you out of fucking three percent yeah but don't take no for an answer yeah you know but we still get this but
we get to stay everywhere you know what's very realistic about this
you need russell to negotiate for real now we taking it
nah that's i think this is an interesting you got to get land you got to get specific rights
and because the interesting thing about this is once you get your land and you could do whatever
you want on it if it fails white people get to go hey you try you could yep now white people got
to be willing to do to say, OK, you got it.
That's it.
You fucking you fail.
That is what it is.
And they got to be willing to accept it when it thrives.
Yes.
That's the big part.
And then they got back.
I we fucked up.
We shouldn't have been.
We're the best at doing a lot with a little.
Mm hmm.
So.
So you don't need 13.
Let's give it down.
Six percent.
We get a percent.
Not 10.
Two percent.
And we get to stay. OK., real question on behalf of black people.
We only in like three states.
Real question on behalf of black people.
What if we just gave you all the Native American land?
And we're like, yo, we try with the natives.
It ain't work.
They getting real ornery about the football teams.
It's starting to bother us.
You can already be the Blackhawks.
That's close. You know what I mean? You get to keep the casinos too? You starting to bother us. You can already be the Blackhawks. That's close.
You know what I mean?
You get to keep the casinos too?
You get to keep everything that's there.
What happens to the natives though?
Son, the lotto numbers alone,
like the amount of money they make off lotto,
that'd be wild.
What happens to the natives?
You get to have the natives, bro.
You get to have them.
You get to have slaves.
Whatever you want to do.
You just restart America.
We're going to restart America
and we're going to be like,
well, what would you do then?
Let's see what you would have done in our situation.
You really look like Hamilton on there, bro.
We are real tough.
Real to imagine they enslaved the natives immediately.
They got them working in fields.
Rapping at all their meetings.
I think we would all come together, Black. We would be like, yeah, we get it.
Yeah, we get like, know They just gotta rap politics
If they just rap politics we would have all
We would have learned it all by now
Alright what else we got
Enough of this serious talk
Chance and Ye
I could give a fuck about both of them
So just a quick thing
I just thought it was funny because Chance was
Supporting Ye's run for president
and people were killing him online.
And then Terry Crews
quote tweeted him and say like,
oh, you got your eye open
and you're open minded.
And then he's like
quickly ran off.
That's when he realized
how fucking stupid he sounded
supporting Kanye for president.
Dumbass thing to do.
You know, and then
you don't bother me.
Let me say this real quick.
He tries to support Ye
by talking about Ye's mom. And he's like, you want me to vote bothered me? Let me say this real quick. He tries to support Ye by talking about
Ye's mom and he's like, you want me to vote for Biden?
Get the fuck out of here. Ye's mom has
nothing to do with Ye. Ye was raised by that woman
and then married Kim Kardashian. So obviously he don't know what the fuck he's doing.
What do you mean by that?
Yo, if you were raised
by this powerful woman, Ye
posted a video of his mom
reciting some woke ass KRS-One
lyrics.
And Chance was like, and you guys want me to vote for Biden.
S-M-H, S-M-F-H, whatever.
We're not talking about Kanye's mom,
who's a fucking powerful woman from what we've heard.
We're talking about the Kanye who was raised by that mom and was like, hey, do I want to marry somebody like that?
Not at all.
Let me marry Kim Kardashian.
That's the polar opposite.
You're not a good decision maker as Kanye.
You were raised by the best mom.
You married the worst woman.
Right, right.
Why is she the worst woman?
What about her is good?
There's probably some good attributes,
but I agree that making a sex tape
and getting famous from it
is probably not an honorable thing to do.
Yeah, you think Kanye's mom would have liked Kim?
Yo, but that was innovative.
Nah, Paris did that.
Yo, she stole that from Paris, yo.
Nah, but she didn't make it famous because of it.
Paris?
Yeah.
Paris Hilton was famous because of it.
Where's she at now?
Bitch was signed to Young Money Records.
Yo, that's Chris.
Chris the genius, yo.
Wait, Paris' tape came out before Kim's?
Yeah, well before.
Yeah, but the thing is like-
Kim was on Paris' show.
Yeah, she used to be like-
She used to be like a lackey, but here's the thing.
Kim did a sex tape
and then became
a legitimate celebrity
and arguably like
one of the most famous
people in the world.
Yes.
Paris did a sex tape
and became a joke.
Yeah.
She was a caricature
of herself.
But that's Chris,
yo.
She a mastermind.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
That being said,
you gotta put some
respect on that,
man.
Like,
she made,
she made. I won't ever. I respect on that, man. Like she made she made.
I won't ever.
I don't know, bro.
I do.
I put some respect on it, man.
She found a way.
I will never.
I will never put respect on.
What?
What?
I got to respect the Kardashians.
Kim is the evil.
Chris, you got to respect.
You got to respect.
Chris is a absolute sociopathic genius.
She don't give a fuck about nothing.
She whatever the story that gets us ratings next year and keeps us relevant,
let's do it. Yo, put a crack pipe
in Lamar's hands, let's go. I don't give a fuck.
That's the evil genius. Kim?
I respect Kim. Stupid ass
Kim. I respect him like a crime
family. Yeah.
I just respect a mob boss.
I'm like, oh, you do foul shit, like you kill people,
whatever. They get away with murder.
But yeah, but that's what I'm saying.
You got to respect them.
They know what they're doing.
It's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris is a genius.
It's like all these comics that are like broke
and they're like talk about some like hacky comic
that like does voices.
They're like, he does voices.
It's like do voices because you have four roommates
and you walk dogs for a living.
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like start doing some voices.
Like figure it out because you can't kill.
Right. So I feel like the thing with kardashians don't get me wrong i have no respect for anybody's opinion does sex work obviously don't get me wrong 100 but but that
is separate than what you've done with that right potato potato yeah i mean it's different is that
there is something Fundamentally different
What you do with the attention
You get
And how you get the attention
Is completely different
Right
So if you get attention
Doing some stupid shit
Like Tekashi69
Does stupid shit
To get attention
What he does
With the attention
Brilliant
Lowest common denominator
Get it
What he does with it
Brilliant
Kim Kardashian
Lowest common denominator To get it What shit he does with it. Brilliant. Kim Kardashian.
Lowest common denominator to get it.
What should they do with it and how they flipped it into a fucking empire.
If you don't respect that as brilliance.
Shit, bro. You don't understand the game.
You do it.
They are marketing geniuses.
I will never.
I didn't say I didn't respect their marketing ability.
I just don't respect them as humans.
Nobody asking you to.
That's what I said.
That's all I said.
I'm not asking you to respect them.
That's all I said.
I love that.
But I just love the fact that they could take the worst shit and make some lemonade out of it.
The worst possible thing, they're going to find a way.
That is genius.
There is some genius there.
Yeah, no, no.
More geniuses.
I think Chris was like, hey, you have a private sex tape.
There's ingredients for lemonade here.
Let's go ahead and just release it.
She knew before anybody
that all attention was good attention.
She's a fucking genius.
We need to sit down with that bitch.
I would love to do a podcast with her,
like a real talk.
I bet you the OJ trial is what made it for her.
That's where she realized?
I think.
That's where I'm gonna bet.
Fuck.
That like her husband is defending
like the worst man in the world.
And he becomes famous. And becomes a hero. And it's like, I mean, obviously I don't think OJ is the worst man in the world and he becomes famous
and becomes a hero
and it's like
I mean obviously
I don't think OJ
is the worst man in the world
but like he was like
the unfavorable person
because most people
thought he was good
yeah yeah of course
and so he's defending
like what's seen as a murder
and still becomes a celebrity
and she saw what a circus
that all was
and she was like
huh none of this seems
I think she
that's when she understood the game
100%
that's a great look
she sees that all attention is good attention.
We can flip this.
That you can be a hero even if you're defending a villain as long as people love the villain.
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all right so we have uh nba players catching rona of course rest book james harding and people are
leaving the bubble i'll be honest with you bro yep this is my prediction right now what's up i don't
know if nba players have the discipline to get through this season really i think they're gonna fly hoes in there
that one girl says i already got invited to the bubble yeah i think they're gonna fly hoes in
i think that somebody's gonna get corona and that bubble is gonna be i mean so everybody's gonna be
so interconnected that that shit is gonna start to get shared around and that's going to be spread and they're going to shut
down the season.
That's my prediction.
I don't think they're capable of staying in that bubble.
They got invited to the bubble too early.
Who?
The NBA players.
They have damn near a month of practice before the season starts.
You need to just get them tested.
If they're clean, yo, we starting games right now.
But you know why they had to go?
Because people kept getting fucking Corona at these practice facilities.
They shut down Denver's.
I think they shut down Milwaukee's.
They shut down all these different practice facilities.
So like we got to get people here,
quarantine them,
and then it's done.
So they have to practice.
So they don't all get injured.
I understand that.
That being said,
all it takes is one or two people getting in there and you're in that close
proximity,
breathing all over each other.
Done.
Yeah.
Aren't they getting tested often though?
Often.
I think they're getting the, what is it called?
The temperature checks.
But you can have it for a while without having a fever.
I also think it's not going to be the stars that fuck it up.
Well, one or two might.
But it's mainly going to be the role players.
The rumor is that Moe Harkless flew this girl out.
Moe Harkless, you got no fucking business flying anybody out.
Bro, is that girl the one that said it? Yeah, the one that said I got invited to the bubble. I already got invited to the bubble. Rumor is it's Moe Harkless flew this girl out. Moe Harkless, you got no fucking business flying anybody out. Bro, is that girl the one that said it?
Yeah, the one that said
I got invited to the bubble.
I already got invited to the bubble.
Rumor is it's Moe Harkless.
I don't know if that's true.
Because the only NBA player
that followed her is Nick Young.
Another one
that got no fucking business.
He's not even in the league.
How are you in the bubble?
Oh, yeah.
And probably once that story broke,
he was like,
let me unfollow you.
He would follow.
He's the only one dumb enough
to actually follow the groupie.
Yeah.
Like most guys just like, no, we can just DM her and everything's going to be fine.
But I guarantee Pussy's going to be a problem.
I mean, like Harden Westbrook already got it.
Yeah.
Right.
So they're not going until that shit is gone.
Harden will get it twice.
He might.
He might.
He really might.
I just can't.
I really do not believe they end up finishing the season.
Now, you might capture the people that have it so quickly
that you can get them out of there,
but I think teams are going to be significantly depleted.
And I think people are just going to...
Whoever wins this year, it's not going to be the best team.
That's what I'm saying.
If you're the Mavericks, obviously as a Mavericks fan,
you got talent on your roster.
You got two stars.
Everybody be disciplined.
We can win the fucking championship.
So then do you guys take back the no asterisk for the season?
No, it's going to be an asterisk.
I say no asterisk.
You both said no asterisk.
I said it's an asterisk if big players go down.
That's the only thing I said asterisk.
But shouldn't it just be either asterisk or no asterisk?
No, because for me it depends.
You really can't control it.
You know what I mean?
If you know you're playing on a bad knee and then you tear your ACL,
you knew your knee was bad.
But to me...
You made the choice to go back out there.
But I was going to say something about...
Fuck, I forgot.
Sorry, my bad.
What was I saying?
If you win the season.
Oh, the team that wins the season...
Not a good team is going to win.
...is the most disciplined team.
And if you want to find out what that team is,
just see whose players are the least active on social media.
If you're a gambling man,
you see J.R. Smith on his fucking Snapchat and Instagram live,
making fucking Instagram videos about the bubble,
and look at the food we got, and look at all this shit,
da-da-da, sharing everything.
The teams that aren't doing that, the teams that are locked in,
the teams that are disciplined, those are the teams that got a chance
because people are going to lose their fucking mind in there.
And there are going to be players there who are like, I want to leave.
I can't.
Like, if we lose this season, we get swept.
Let's go.
Fine.
I'm done.
Who are the teams?
Are the Bucks really active?
Raptors.
There's one player on the Raptors that is messaging or tweeting.
Serge Ibaka is the only player.
Yeah.
I haven't heard from Lowry.
I haven't heard from the African Duce Siakam.
I haven't heard from Van Fleet.
I haven't heard from any Raptors players.
Van Fleet didn't even want to go.
Is that right?
You know what?
Also could be a big indicator.
If you got a lot of players
that didn't want to go on the team,
they're going to be the most cautious
within the bubble.
That's a great point.
You got a lot of people like,
yo, I don't want to fucking do this.
This isn't safe.
That's a great point.
Those are the guys
that aren't going to be out there.
They're not going to be whatever.
They're probably going to be
on their teammates like,
yo, do not fly this bitch in
right out of your fucking mind.
They're going to be the ones
that are the most vigilant.
They're the Alex's of this thing.
We need people like that to be like, yo, don't fucking wild out.
I swear to God.
And if they're good players in particular, now you really got power.
Now, the other side of discipline is showing up to the bubble in a hazmat suit.
Yes.
That's what Joel Embiid did.
Right?
So you, yes, it's a funny joke.
Yes, it's cool.
But it shows that your head's not there.
It shows that you want to be a social media character, which is great, which is fun.
That's what we love Embiid.
He's got this amazing personality, but he's not locked in.
I haven't seen LeBron do anything besides play NBA 2K.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, I haven't seen LeBron really tweeting, Instagram posting, at least nothing going viral.
Anthony Davis not really seeming to say shit. He don't say much in general. Right? Like I haven't seen LeBron really tweeting, Instagram posting, at least nothing going viral, viral.
Anthony Davis not really seeming to say shit.
He don't say much in general.
Anthony Davis was with LeBron on the 2K thing
where they were like actually playing with people.
You saw that?
And they were just like hanging out
and people were following them,
but it was in the game.
Like you can walk around the courts and shit in the game.
It doesn't matter.
But like to me, you're kind of locked in.
LeBron James has unbelievable mental discipline.
And I know we knocked
him a lot earlier in his career for it but it is something that i've seen like this just wild
improvement i remember i think because we knocked him early in his he was like i gotta get this down
and well i remember when charlamagne we were talking to him about when he was on the shop
and they added him out uh now we're teasing about that but i asked him what is that thing that these
great people have or he
asked a question kevin kevin love was on there kevin love said lebron has crazy focus like his
when he locks in it's unlike anything he's ever seen and i think that's a big there's certain
characteristics goat have goats have i think one is a lot of energy i think another one is a crazy
level of focus i can lock in on this one thing what do you all think about the back of the jerseys
so like the n NBA said you can put
Not whatever you want there's like a list
Of approved sayings to put on the back of your jersey
You right
Can you get those up which are the other ones
But like you can put Black Lives Matter
Like Kyle Corbett's doing Black Lives Matter
You can make a statement
With where your name would go on a jersey
You read about this
Yeah I've read about it I didn't know they were going to go through with it.
So yeah, they've gone through with it.
They have a list of things
that guys can put on the back of their jersey.
And it was part of the negotiation
of the players coming back to the bubble
and the different things that they can do
to promote Black Lives Matter
and promote everything that's going on.
These are some of them right here.
So Black Lives Matter.
Actually, can you remove that out?
It's a little harder for me to read if you have that.
Black Lives Matter.
Say their names.
Vote.
I can't breathe. Justice.
Peace. Equality. Freedom. Enough.
Power to the people. Justice now. Say her name.
Si se puede.
Oh, yeah.
Liberation. See us.
Hear us. Respect us. Love us. Listen.
Listen to us. Stand up.
Ally. Anti-racracist i am a man
hey yo that's a little problematic yeah wmba jerseys gonna be stacked
speak up how many more group economics education reform and mentor um so you can put any of those
approved on the back and lebron and i believe k Kawhi and a bunch of players have chose not to do it.
And their argument is,
you know what I do for the community,
you know,
and it's undeniable what he does for the community.
It is interesting though.
Does he view that as performative and not really doing change?
And is he saying,
Hey,
this isn't really how you make a difference.
Like,
but he's worn an,
I can't breathe shirt in pregame warmups. And also i would say that like so for his argument i go meta world
peace didn't make more world peace right does it just seem like a gimmick and maybe he's is he like
look having that on the back of my jersey is going to make more people realize that black lives matter
i have a thing personally and maybe he has the same thing,
where it's like, I don't want to feel like I'm caving to social pressure
to be woke.
Like, I'll do it if I want to do it.
I'm not going to do it because you're telling me.
Like, the black square on Instagram, I was just like,
I'm not doing it just because.
But they negotiated for this, not the NBA.
This is the players association.
Even within that group, there might be a lot of pressure internally
to be like, hey, guys, we should all do this.
And he's probably like, I'm going to do what I'm going to do.
I do plenty. I'm not doing it because you want me to i'm doing it because i want to right but it is interesting because he wore the i can't breathe shirt on the
court must have been valuable i would like to know his rationale for it because some people might go
like oh this is from him or this is what you think no no this is not from him some people might say
he said that he's gonna wear j James on the back of his jersey.
Yeah, but he didn't say why.
No, no.
Well, he said like, you know what I do and people know that.
That's only half an answer.
Yeah.
But what I'm saying is like,
some people might go,
it's easy to talk about reform and all that kind of stuff on Twitter.
But the second you have to sacrifice something
that's like part of your personal branding,
all of a sudden you're like, you know what I do. The second it doesn't say your name on Twitter, but the second you have to sacrifice something that's part of your personal branding, all of a sudden you're like, you know what I do.
The second it doesn't say your name on it, it doesn't say King James on the back, it
doesn't say James.
Can we keep it a buck, too?
If you want to talk about a lot of these things don't really carry weight, but if LeBron James
wins a fourth title, whatever it is, with I Can't Breathe or I Am A Man or any one of
those things on the back of his jersey, That's a powerful image that lives on forever.
You won the championship wearing that jersey with that on your back.
That carries through for generations, that image.
I mean, think about all the pictures that will be taken on the court, dunks,
and not even championships, just throughout the season.
Some crazy dunk you're elevating and in the back it says,
Black Lives Matter and you're dunking on some white guy. there'd be there'd be like some pretty iconic crazy images that people don't
know why i some people might not that it could be like an ego thing he's like wait wait i gotta not
have my name on the back of the jersey i'm lebron james that's what some people might say kawaii say
he's not gonna do it either kawaii is so locked in i don't think he even knows what i don't think
he knows people are dying yeah yeah i can't breathe he's knows what's going on. I don't think he knows people are dying. Yeah. Yeah. I can't breathe. He's like, well, just try to breathe.
You try to breathe?
That seems like the easiest way to breathe.
He's like, pregnant women do it.
It's just interesting to me.
I don't know.
It's just very interesting.
When given the ability to do it, a very small thing,
the choice to not do it.
It doesn't cost anything.
Yeah, I know.
That's a little odd, right?
I thought you were going to talk about
the NBA website
and their ability to let you
customize jerseys on there.
Have you seen this?
No.
So like with,
in conjunction with this thing,
the NBA website was like,
yo, if you want to order jerseys,
you can order jerseys
and customize the back
to whatever you want.
Right.
Except for a few certain things.
What?
All lives matter?
The one that you can't,
that a lot of people are talking about
is Free Hong Kong. Get out of here! a few certain things what all lives matter the one that you can't that a lot of people are talking about is free hong kong oh so if you type in hong kong into the website it says we're unable to
customize this item with the text you've entered please try a different entry wow and then people
have like this litany of awful things that you can have instead you can have uh like fuck police
kill cops burn jews all in the back of your jersey except free hong kong i don't
know what the official list is as far as like what's banned and what's not so they have the
all these terrible things on the back of these jerseys but the one that they aren't allowing
people to buy is free hong kong if you guys hear the barking that's cookie in the back um yo that
is crazy they will really just bend over and get fucked.
The NBA will bend over and get fucked by China, huh?
Yo, isn't it crazy?
They're the entire reason you're in this fucking bubble, China.
And you won't say free Hong Kong.
That's embarrassing, yo.
Yeah, that's wild.
That's wild, too.
Yeah.
Let me tell you something.
If Andrew starts a pandemic and you want to say fuck
andrew no matter how much money you put in my pocket i'm gonna be like i get it
i'm not gonna wear the jersey if i get it that's the thing man it's just so weird
like it's not weird it's embarrassing well that's what that's what things happen where you start to
question the care of a corporation and that's why it's so hard for corporations to be woke
is because there's always going to be a part of that corporation that's going to put profit
ahead of people and if you're a corporation all your detractors have to do is find out what that
part of your hypocrisy lies and then they can expose it like right now these people that are
finding you can't say free hong kong they're just people that don't care I imagine a lot of
them don't even care
about Hong Kong they're
just anti black lives
matter they're
antagonizing they're yeah
they're doing this
complete to antagonize
but you leave yourself
open to antagonization
when you become this
fake woke corporation
but as a as a pretty
moderate person I think
that doesn't make me
less black lives matter
but it does make me
more you know the NBA
mad phony fuck all this
woke shit you're doing
right I still black
lives matter but also
y'all ain't shit well that's the thing and they're gonna go you don't care about Black Lives Matter
you care about profit and you realize that right now being on the side of Black Lives Matter
is profitable so like it really takes away from any efforts you made at all and that's why they're
starting a season now they're like yo we got money to make y'all ready yeah nobody's watching TV you
ready to make some money what's the best way for us to make money?
Okay, the black players don't want to play
because of Black Lives Matter protests
and there's this monumental moment in history
where we have all this attention.
All right, how can we trick them into playing?
We'll donate some money for Black Lives Matter.
Well, let's put Black Lives Matter on your jersey.
Your goal is not help Black Lives Matter.
If you really cared about Black Lives Matter,
you would shut down the season
and you'd be like,
we are protesting with our players
this 90% black-owned league
and we are going to,
and you know what?
We have all these billionaire owners
that have tons of money.
We're also going to donate money
to these different organizations,
these different charities.
You don't give a flying fuck.
Don't give a fuck.
You are giving enough of a fuck
to make people think that you do.
That's all it is.
Here's enough of a fuck to throw the scent off the not give a fuck trail.
Yeah.
They don't give a fuck.
They give enough of a fuck.
You give enough of a fuck to trick the populace.
Yeah.
God damn.
That's embarrassing.
Yeah.
What was his Woj story?
That he.
Oh, just Woj's fake Karen.
Some senator said some shit.
What was it?
I don't know.
Some senator said some shit.
He was like, fuck you.
Yeah.
And he was like, I don't know, something about that. He said some pro-Trump shit,'t know some sarah said some shit he was like fuck you yeah and it's like uh something about that he said some pro trump shit i think or something like that but
then espn suspended him they suspended him but like here's my thing woj has a job because of
his connections right when you're woj what guys if you don't know who adrian wojnowski whatever
he's the type he's the guy who drops news about trades, drops news about injuries,
drops any kind of news, right?
And they call Woj bombs, right?
He's the TMZ of the NBA.
Perfectly said, yes.
So his currency is relationships.
So his relationship to the owner of the Knicks, his relationship to the GM,
his relationship to one of the training guys,
his relationship to the players themselves.
When the players themselves see this, you know whose side
they're going to be on? Who tweeted him?
One of the first people who tweeted him. LeBron.
Free Woj. Free Woj.
So now when LeBron texts...
Not Hong Kong, but Woj for sure.
But now when Woj texts LeBron,
hey, what's going on in the bubble? How's everything going?
LeBron might give him a little
tidbit. LeBron might tell him a little
something like that. You choose your sources who you give the information to
And they scratch your back too
Every once in a while Woj writes an article
About the best GMs in the league
And you know who he does?
He scratches the back of those GMs that gave him information
You know who he leaves off?
The motherfuckers that said fuck you
You see what I'm saying?
All this is exchange of information
It's like spy ship but no stakes
So I think what he did was If I'm saying All this is exchange of information It's like spy shit But no stakes Yeah You know
So I think what he did was
On purpose
If I'm Woj
I do that on purpose
And I make sure to leak my own shit
Right
You might get suspended
For a few days from ESPN
But ESPN knows what time it is
They know it's good to have Woj
They're politicians these guys
I remember we were at the All Star game
And I saw Shams
The Indian guy
And this is why I'm bitter
He's the Indian Woj
I think he even worked for Woj
Yeah he did Now he's doing his own thing Now he's number two Itj I think he even worked for Woj yeah he did
now he's doing his own thing
now he's number two
it's some real like
fucking wire shit
but he
the guy blew right past me
and then we were with
an NBA guy
and he was like
hey buddy
mad like
talking him up
and then
I felt a little hurt
but then I was also
I went to the NBA guy
I was like
are y'all like homies
and he was like
nah man
he's just trying to get
something out of me
that's just what it is
that's the game
but like
calling by his last name like if I was like yo gag non what's good but like
really trying to make it seem like we're buddies they're just glad handing yo hey let me hold this
baby let me take this picture i'm right there i'm your guy tell me something all right guys we're
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all right peace anyway guys what do you think one more we wrap it up um there was something i saw
it's a little interesting this comedy club in san diego american comedy club bro fun ass club
this is did you see this yeah yeah great great pets that's the pretzel you want to get a
motherfucking pretzel at a comedy club that That's the one. So American Comedy Club or American Comedy Co. in San Diego, we've all performed there.
Yeah.
They said that they have rebranded their comedy shows as comedy civil disobedience shows,
which comedians are now called protesters and performers are called and the performances
are called protests.
This is all a way for the business to stay open during the pandemic now because politicians don't want to anger the people who
vote for them they basically said hey businesses you got to shut down because of corona but what
about these big protests where people are all together in the streets well those are okay but
businesses have to be shut down because we could get prone you can't you may be able to get corona
in these protests matter of fact you probably will be able to get Corona in these protests.
Matter of fact,
you probably will be able to,
it's less likely because of open air and you have wind moving around the
disease,
but it's still dangerous to do.
Um,
but at the same time,
we don't want to piss those people off because we need to be in office.
So we want people to vote for us.
So what they did,
and this is so funny because this is something I said on Rogan.
I literally was like on Rogan.
I was like,
yo,
joking around.
I go,
I mean, while we just say that we're doing the shows for black lives matter and then we could donate
part of the proceeds to black lives matter and then we could have the shows and this is everything's
good this is when we thought rona was out of here pretty much they're actually doing it i did a black
lives matter show this saturday in brooklyn really yeah man fun also like outdoors patio situation
outdoors there's like 20 people back of a bar which is good to be doing comedy in new york again Oakland. Really? Yeah. Man, fun. It's outdoors, patio situation.
Outdoors, there's like 20 people, back of a bar.
It was just good to be doing comedy in New York again.
Right.
And it felt like just like, it didn't feel like the comedy club when we went to Kansas City.
It felt more low stakes because lower people, whatever.
But it was just fun to be up there fucking around again.
It felt great.
But what made it a Black Lives Matter show?
They donated some of the money to Black Lives Matter.
And that's why they're allowed to have the show?
I guess so.
So now people just using Black Lives Matter. Oh, man why they're allowed to have the show? I guess so. So now people just using
Black Lives Matter.
Oh, man.
Now.
Take the money.
It's one of those things
where it's like,
all right,
Black Lives Matter
gets to make money.
They get to, you know,
use that money to help people.
These businesses get to use
Black Lives Matter
to keep their business going.
Like, maybe everybody wins
in this situation.
It's like the tax write-off thing.
Exactly.
The charities.
Just using it for a tax write-off. Yeah, but leukemia gets some money. It's like the tax write-off thing. Exactly, the charity. You're just using it
for a tax write-off.
Yeah, but leukemia gets some money.
That's true, yeah.
It is interesting, though.
It is a win-win, kind of.
It's kind of a win-win.
It depends how much they give.
My suspicion is not a lot is given.
It's probably a percentage of profits,
but if you're a comedy club
and you got to pay rent and staff
and you have back rent,
like, there's probably not much profit.
But it's also, you's also more fundraisers.
It can't be bad.
And how do you guys feel about California going back into lockdown?
Man.
Sad.
This shit, I really feel like we're going to be in this for a while, bro.
I'm being honest.
I feel like we're going to be in it for a while.
I mean, yeah.
We might need a little cure action or we might need like a guaranteed.
It doesn't have to be the cure, but it's got to fix it.
There's got to be something that is like makes it much more treatable and not nearly as fatal for people to get over.
Now the fear is, oh, somebody got Corona.
It's all over.
It's got to be strep throat.
You know what I mean?
Like it's got to be you get it.
They're like, oh, you got Corona. OK, here's this prescription that's going to be strep throat you know what i mean like it's got to be you get it they're like oh you got corona okay here's this prescription that's gonna knock it out in real talk it's well
it's not we haven't got the prescription yet but it's getting to the point where
most people aren't dying right i get it the death rate is very low once that gets so low to the
like all right whatever like it's like the flu yeah die from the flu we're already i mean it's
some people are taking it way too far, like motherfuckers who won't
even wear masks and like that's impinging on my freedom or whatever.
But we have to find that healthy medium of just like, look, it's quite possible you get
sick, but you still have to live your life.
Because like you said, this ain't going away for a long time.
This is a marathon.
This isn't a sprint.
We thought it was a sprint.
That's what sucks is we thought it was a sprint and we're all sprinting and then it turns
out you got 24 miles left.
We got a long time left.
We just got to be like, hey, we could get sick.
What are the risks worth taking for you, for each person?
And then be responsible to not get motherfuckers sick around you.
Let's go.
It really does feel as silly as this is to come full circle with it.
But it really does feel like if you just wear a mask when you're around people, you'll be alright.
Wear a mask and distance. That's literally
what it feels like. Mask and distance. It feels
like, yo, just wear the mask
when you're around some people. It only took
them four fucking months, but... Hey, I've
been good.
Did you say you wore a mask for the first time?
Like, last week? I always comply.
I've never been, like, an anti-masker. Nah, we went to
Kansas City, and to Andrew's credit
Everywhere I was masked up
Andrew was masked up
Even in the Uber
This fucking redneck over here
Never put on that mask
Really
I followed the laws bro
Son
I followed the laws
That's what I did
Nah bro
I think you gotta wear it inside
And one Uber driver
To Andrew's credit
Was like yo
You don't have to wear a mask
I guess he felt like
Cucky cause he's in Missouri
And people were probably like
Fuck that And Andrew was like Nah we're good I obviously left my mask on Cause I have no immune system And credit was like, yo, you don't have to wear a mask. I guess he felt like cucky because he's in Missouri and people were probably like, fuck that.
And Andrew was like, nah, we're good.
I obviously left my mask on because I have no immune system.
And Mark was like, oh, I bet.
And he took his shit off.
But I wear a mask inside.
I didn't take it off.
I always do it.
Okay.
Yeah.
I mean, if it's my house, I'm not wearing a mask.
Yeah, yeah.
In here, we're not wearing a mask.
That's good.
I'm happy to hear that.
Pump in fresh oxygen.
You got to do all this shit.
Wear a mask.
Be six feet apart.
And that's really what you got to do. That's what you can do. And that will do a lot. I'm happy to hear that. Pump in fresh oxygen. You got to do all this shit. Wear a mask. Be six feet apart. And that's really what you got to do.
That's what you can do.
And that will do a lot.
I saw a story.
I think it was in Philadelphia.
Some 30-year-old kid passed away.
He went to one of those corona parties where people were trying to catch it intentionally.
What?
So there was corona parties where people went with people who were positive with corona.
They were trying to catch it intentionally so they can just get it out their system,
like get it over with.
And one kid from the party actually died.
Son, how do you know about this?
I listen to the news.
The news is the only shit I pay attention to.
I could care less about all this social media shit.
You know about Goya Beans, motherfucker?
I mean, it's in the news.
It's in the news.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
That's not hard about Corona parties.
I wanted to catch that shit out.
Bro, I was bug Jason though
Mark wants that
I wanted to get it
way early that way
I could just have
immunity and just be
fine
apparently it was
stronger earlier
I talked to a doctor
in Texas and she was
saying like I think
it's a weaker thing
than it was before
before less people
were getting it but
they were getting
fucked up now more
people are getting it
but they're not as
fucked up
more mild cases
yeah
I'd just rather not
get it
just rather not get it
but I'm cool you cool never know what underlying
health conditions you may have that could worsen right and in reality all these maskless people
that's fine be maskless you're probably backwards as fuck anyway like we're fine without you yeah
true what if the people die if the people who refuse to wear a mask are gone like all right
that's on you you refuse to wear a mask you're an idiot you thought it was a fucking hoax cool but and it's an election cycle coming up i mean they don't care though if they
die right like their whole thing is i should be able to die no there's a lot of people think a lot
of them think it's bullshit yeah a lot of dog i follow a guy who was a comic like years ago when
i was in dallas i just came to visit i saw him i thought he's funny and then i realized we're
facebook friends and i'm seeing like his shit about like
masks are for communists
and like this thing is a hoax
and not that many people are dying
I was like
oh you legit went crazy
but he's also fat
so if he dies
you know
that's alright
but not a lot of people
are dying
the death rate
is going down
from when it
from the start of it
but people still are dying
yeah
I think the flattened curve
shit was important early on too
because now we're not like choosing who dies like they were in italy because they're flooded
with like they don't have enough beds for everybody etc right all right well look some podcasts you
end on a high note you know and then some of you don't it's just you want to talk way fair or not
say what you want to talk way fair or not there's nothing there we got one more thing we got to talk about today then we're getting out of here um this is this
is a little fucking wild i'll be honest with you it was one of those things we were thinking about
saving for the patreon because of how repulsive i know it's going to be i haven't seen it yet
but i just know it so mark um you know mark guys he's been talking on the podcast today. And what you don't know because you can't smell is how little he bathes.
It's crazy.
It's really crazy.
It's the most French thing about him.
It is maybe the only French thing about him.
And his hygiene, he uses a, what did you call it?
It's like an organic deodorant.
A natural deodorant.
A natural deodorant.
Yeah.
I really think he just takes a pear and rubs it under his arms because it does the exact same thing Rick Ross style yeah so Mark went to the hospital today was a little late for the thing
and I was a little bit concerned I said what's up your back he has back issues he goes to a
chiropractor as a whole thing he goes no I'm getting my ears cleaned he went to the hospital
he went to a medical professional to get his ears cleaned.
That's wild.
And we actually have video of what it looks like and what came out of your ears.
Is that correct?
Should we put the video on the...
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
So this...
We should save the video for the Patreon.
No, no, no. We're watching a video so this is just
a still picture dude some of the video up yet i don't know if the picture up yet it's already up
maybe for the video we save it for the patreon but i really want to get your reaction is it that
crazy play it right now let's just play this yeah yeah let's just let me see the video dude
the paper looks like a rorschach test, but just put the video for me
Oh my god, I test of doodoo
Dude there's a beehive inside
Also, why is your ear so fucking hairy man? This is everybody's here's Harry though, but oh my god
Yeah, that looks like what Andy Dufresne crawled through to break out of Shawshank
Son, that's wild, yo.
Holy fuck.
Oh, this is repulsive, dude.
Son, even Cookie grossed out, yo.
Oh my God.
It's just tar.
You have tar in your ears.
What is this device that they're using?
That should look like a smoker's lung.
I'm using that device.
I have the ear cleaner in my place.
But this is a professional doing it to you, right?
No, this is me and my girl doing it.
Oh, I thought you said
you went to the hospital.
Yeah, I did.
After I did that yesterday,
it was like,
oh, I need professional consultation.
Oh, and then you got that
and then what happened?
He just cleaned,
crapping up and cleaning up.
Well, how'd he do it?
He just went in there
with like a little spoon,
a little vacuum thing.
Oh my God.
And do you hear better?
Kind of, a little bit.
I feel a lot better though. It's like, it just feels less clogged. It just feels great. And do you hear better? Kind of, a little bit. I feel a lot better, though.
Like, it's like, it just feels less clogged.
It just feels great.
What do you think is the purpose of earwax?
I think it's, like, to keep out germs and bacteria and dirt.
It has a protective purpose, but I don't think you're supposed to have that much.
I think it's to keep out bugs.
That, too.
I think we would sleep on the ground, obviously,
and there'd just be tons of little insects that would crawl up in our ears
and then cause all these weird infections. So you have this sticky substance that's in your ears
stops it the bugs again the most important place yeah so you really be trying your girl bro like
you are this guy's trying to get out of this wedding bro insane dude no but he does everything
possible for her to break up with his ass and he just will not she just will not do it why are you
testing this woman bro she's a sweet lady though she's a medical professional come on bro that color son
come on my earwax is lighter than i don't want you to clean my ears oh yeah on patreon we're
cleaning andrew's ear no we're not i think your ears are probably more i have disgusting i'm
coming in i'm gonna clean them i'm not gonna let you put that thing in my ear i know i have a
different hook i'm not gonna let you put a hook in my ear. I know. I have a different hook.
I'm not going to let you put a hook in my fucking ear.
Dude, this is, look at this.
This is repulsive.
Oh my God, dude.
We have to actually, we're going to sign a contract, you and I, and you have to bathe and regularly wash your body.
How is this going to do with bathing?
Say what? What does your ear being messed this have to do with bathing? Say what?
What does your ear being messed up have to do with bathing?
Something.
You go like this.
When you get out of the shower, you go like that.
That's what I do.
Have you never cleaned your ear?
That's what I do.
When you're on a flight, do you not go like this
and then a fucking booger shoots out both of your ears?
How has this not been?
Look at this.
There's a pond.
There's the tarp.
That's a tarpon.
Los Angeles has it.
Look at this part right here that's in last
action hero oh my god yo dude look at this so disgusted mark this is a problem but it's clean
now oh my god this one is gonna be serious what did the doctor say to you he's i've seen worse
no he did not he did no he did he No, he didn't. He said that.
He's seen worse because they cleaned half of it the day before.
Oh, that's a good-ass point.
Oh, he got what was left.
Yeah, he got the sloppy seconds.
Oh, my goodness, dude.
That was absolutely disgusting, Mark.
So this is what we're going to do from now on.
Okay?
This is not only for the sake of our studio smelling good, but also for the sake of your relationship.
Okay.
You have to shower three days a
week damn it why okay that includes washing hair and shampoo shampoo and you have to do shampoo
what else do you wash just water he thinks that shit works bro he takes like the white leg
cleaning approach to his hair so look and then three days a week. Okay. You got to go.
You got to go shower.
But go.
Let me keep the same underwear the whole week.
No.
Once Mark came in with the same socks he wore the day before, bro.
You can wear the same socks.
No, no. And I knew they were the same socks because he mismatched them the day before.
So it's not like he just wore two white pairs in a row.
You would never know the difference.
But we got one pink, one purple.
And I'm like, bro, we saw this yesterday. How do yesterday how do you put this nah bro he wants us to intervene he wants
intervention oh you think it's a cry i think this is it it's a cry for help i think that we should
do a dramatic scene to end the podcast no no we cut that out already right they don't know what
the fuck we did uh we cut out how lame uh improv is we went on a whole rant about how lame fuck
because ucb is racist We should leave the rant and cut
the scene. No, no, no, no.
I think you can leave the scene.
But maybe we'll redo one more scene, okay?
So just to put in perspective, UCB
was called racist because they don't promote any black
people into the higher ranks of their
system. Yeah.
Right? So whatever their stupid
ass thing is. So there's like a bunch of tiers and if you reach
the higher ranks, then you can get looks from these different and if you don't you
just keep paying money and they charge you for fucking everything exactly and they're not promoting
the black people obviously because they're funny and you can't be funny and be good at improv yeah
the whole thing is designed for people who are not funny or talented they literally create
systems for people that are not funny to be able to do their job. Yeah.
That's what it's about.
You know how there's certain jobs they let retards do because it's retard proof?
Right?
They're the movie theater ticket people.
Exactly.
Movie theater ticket is just take it.
And that's it.
Right?
They've taken it.
And that's yes and.
Yes and.
Look, it keeps on funny if you just keep saying yes.
You know what I mean?
Anyway, so these fucking rapists, right?
Yeah. Oh my God. Aren't they rapists? They are so these fucking rapists, right? Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Aren't they rapists?
They are so rapists.
It's crazy.
The whole thing is yes and.
The whole thing.
You cannot say no.
There is no.
You enter the space, right?
It's like, where was Weinstein?
That's where his fucking talent.
I just said, every UCB show.
I'm going to pull my dick out and jerk off in front of this tree.
Yes.
And?
And I'll just keep watching so mark used to do in college
mark you you would be as part of this troop you were in a troop for one semester yeah and you said
that they would do dramatic scenes for an hour yeah there you were not trying to be funny no
and i think that we should end this podcast on a dramatic scene okay okay
the dramatic scene is you you have a type of cancer okay that is uh directly directly
derivative to poor hygiene and what would it's bacterial buildup in the armpits okay that's pretty good
bacterial buildup in the armpits and your armpits are just stuffed and it's just and it's cancer
though and it is it's aids too it's both of them it's both of them and uh so we're the three of us
are intervening to you. Okay.
Okay. Remember, this is not comedy, guys.
We have to be serious about this.
We are doing an intervention because we want to save your life.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Ready?
Yeah.
Mark.
Yes.
Don't be funny, Mark.
I'm not being funny.
No, you're not English.
And you have this problem.
Why not?
You'd be English and serious.
Yes.
And you got a yes.
Andy was a pro with me.
Oh, he just he just killed you. Okay. Yes, Andy. You got a yes, Andy. It was a problem for me. Oh, he just killed you, son.
Okay, fine.
Okay, so Mark.
Mark, Mark.
Okay, Mark.
Yeah, what is it?
Mark, we've come here together.
We're your friends.
We're your family.
And we love you.
And we had a conversation
and we feel that
we feel that, um,
we feel that your body odor and just your general smell and your hair also
is,
I'm sorry to laugh.
It's a health hazard.
It's a health hazard.
Wait,
so this isn't a birthday party.
No,
it is not a birthday party.
It's meant to look like that.
It's hard.
Sounded Indian. Almost. It is. Guys, it is not a birthday party. It's meant to look like that. Sounded Indian almost.
It is.
Guys, we got to be serious. We're doing
an intervention here. We are concerned.
We remember that time we asked you to go
to the hospital when we all went together
to get those Corona tests. Remember those?
Yeah. And remember they also took like a swab
sample of your armpits. Do you remember that?
I remember that. Yeah. That actually wasn't
for Corona.
That was for an AIDS cancer I was for an AIDS cancer of the armpits and also checking his downs over so you try something they saw my armpits
yeah and after they swab my armpits they say that
i have like aids cancer you have an aids cancer it's a very akash can explain in more detail than
i can basically you're just so filthy yeah that it's your body is like a cesspool for all diseases
yeah it's like open season for any disease that's interested yep and they're all interested and
they're interested in you good is this common in six-year-olds?
No, it's not common in anyone.
It's just common for you.
So I'm the only six-year-old in all of Brisbane. We understand that you identify as six.
We understand that.
And we understand as a trans-ageist person
that you do that.
And that's cool.
If you want to identify as six, that's fine.
But you're a grown adult.
And you smell like shit. But I feel like'm six i know i know my birthday's tomorrow this is supposed to
be my party but you you bathe yourself like you're six you do you have the hygiene of a six-year-old
and that's what we're here to address we want you we want you to listen we're totally cool with you
sucking the dicks all the time. We think that's great.
It's empowering.
No, we literally, one of the cool things about you is how much you devour dicks, dude.
Like, what did you say to me the other day?
You're like, one of my favorite things to do is wake up in the morning.
They call me the hot dog eater.
Yeah.
The glizzy gladiator.
The glizzy gladiator.
But what would you say?
I get up in the morning.
I just crush a P3. Crush a p3 p3 yeah crush a p3 yeah start every morning for p3 right favorite
snack and i have a cheese cube and a cashew cashew and then uh salami but you go with the real thing
and you you have been sucking an incredible amount of dicks Right
Historic maybe
It is honestly historic
It's historic
Dude I remember once
When you lined them all up
You lined them all up
Right
You lined all the dicks up
Yeah in the back garden
In the back garden
Yeah
I remember
I was going to the back garden
Because I was taking out Cookie
And I was thinking
I was just going to take her out
For a piss and shit
And I walked
And here you are
And I thought you were listening
To heavy metal music bro You're just banging your head her out for a piss and shit And I walked and here you are And I thought you were listening to heavy metal music bro
You're just banging your head back and forth going up and down
It was unbelievable
It was unbelievable
We're not saying cut that out
No I love it
I enjoy it
Watching or being part of it
Both
Dude when you suck Akash's dick
Dude
So what's the cure What can I do Both. Dude, when you suck Akash's dick, dude.
So what's the cure?
What can I do for my pits? Here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
My stinky pits.
Here's the thing that you're going to need to do.
And I know it sounds odd.
And I know it sounds weird.
You're going to need to do a semen transfer.
You're going to need to suck semen out of one person's dick.
And then you're going to need to shoot it back into another person's dick
Dad, you mean it
Son
I mean, your father loves you
He wouldn't lie to you
You know what I mean?
I do love him
I love him
It's different
I'm not in love with him anymore
Okay, got it
I do love him
I'm not in love with him anymore Okay, got i do love it i'm not in love with him
and i got it you know what i mean yeah i know what you mean i loved him when he was actually
six right right right okay and i understand this whole ruse is to get back to that and get my
attention it's not working think about it think about it so when when do i stop my cure
Think about it So when do I stop my cure?
I
Would rather us all get AIDS
Than continue doing improv
Alright guys that's the end of the episode
We'll see you on Patreon
Patreon.com slash flagrant2
If you fuck with us
You can go do that we do an extra episode
Every week over there only on
patreon patreon exclusive shit gets a little wild we don't do improv over there we're not going to
do any improv over there we got to save the video for the patreon all right we'll drop the video
he's being out in the wild okay we'll drop the video on patreon we'll do the video wild and it
will be i mean it is one of the most repulsive things you've ever seen in your entire life
that being said this is Flagrant 2.
We love you all.
Peace.
God bless.