Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - The Warriors Staff Lied To Kevin Durant (feat. Jeremy Piven)
Episode Date: June 11, 2019This week Andrew, Akaash, Kaz, and special guest, Jeremy Piven (known for his role as Ari Gold in the comedy series Entourage), discuss #METOO, going from acting to stand up, the 1 year anniversary of... Frank and Beans, NBA Finals, KD injury, Nets Trade, Warriors asterisk championships and MUCH MORE!
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What's up everybody and welcome to another episode of Flagrant 2 No Easy Buckets Analysis
by Assholes, water cooler commentary for your sports needs.
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Now,
let us start the show.
Man.
Hello, new listeners that came on board with the Lisa Ann.
Shout out to all y'all that found us through Lisa.
Shout out to Lisa, man.
Ain't nothing wrong with following some pussy.
Ain't nothing wrong with it.
We here for you.
That's how societies are built.
That was an epic episode.
Yes, it was
I think we had something around
Quarter million listens
Yeah
With that one
Almost half a million
Well over half a million now
With the Akash, Lisa
Oh oh
We're talking about the clip
The clip went viral
Yeah yeah
The clip viral sensation
But the whole episode
Around a quarter million
So that means we got some new people listening
We're speaking to you right now
What's up That's just a minor dose of flagrancy what's up you want some real fuck
shit go listen to franks and beans this is the year this is the anniversary and y'all don't even
know what we're talking about there's an episode on here that probably should be taken off it
should be scrubbed the wildest 11 minutes in the history of podcasting exists on flagrant too.
I'm not going to tell you exactly where it is because I can't make a daddy.
This shit will be shut down immediately.
YouTube going to get us the fuck out of here.
Like Steven Crowder.
Listen,
if you're a new listener,
you're probably like talking to somebody who's been a long time listener.
And if the first episode,
I guarantee you, they're going to suggest to you, is the Frankenbeans episode.
And it's the year anniversary of that.
So go back to that and welcome to Flavor 2.
I was doing shows in San Francisco.
Shouts to everybody who came out for that.
That was amazing.
We'll get to that later.
But a woman came up to me.
She's like, let me tell you something.
I just had a kid.
And I was wildly depressed.
I was going through postpartum depression.
And, I mean, it was like my life was falling apart.
And I was just searching for things to distract myself.
And I was listening to the Franks and Beans episode.
And she said,
she said,
that 11 minutes changed my life.
Said it changed her life.
Dude, said it changed her life.
I love it.
Wildly depressed.
And we made fun of retards for 11 minutes.
And immediately she was like,
why did that happen?
Maybe I should feed my kid,
you know, keep working, put some clothes on his back, do
what I got to do.
All I'm saying is we're doing the Lord's work, okay?
Oh, God.
You know how I know that?
This is God's favorite podcast.
Say what?
This is God's favorite podcast.
Obviously, it's God's favorite podcast, bro.
Y'all didn't know that?
And you know how I knew the Lisa Ann episode was slapped?
What?
Because for the first time in the history of this podcast, a video went out.
Yes.
And people still tuned in to the tune of a quarter million listeners.
Record numbers.
And maybe that's a sign that we should be cutting that video off more often.
Maybe we should.
Maybe we're what's wrong.
Maybe we're what's wrong with the podcast.
Maybe this is more of an audible thing.
Maybe we ain't as cute as we thought we were.
I'll tell you the most flattering thing about the Lisa Ann episode is that 600,000 people
listened to that, right?
Or no, watched it.
600,000 people watched the clip on YouTube at this point right now.
And they could watch her get cummed on.
And they chose to watch us ask her questions.
Like, that is how...
You got to be good at interviewing.
Like, it's rare in life
if I'm speaking to a hot girl
and I'm thinking,
I would rather talk to you
than watch you get fucked.
Listen to you.
Listen to you.
Than watch you get fucked.
Like, imagine any interaction with a hot girl.
There was like one click away
from her being in that exact same position,
only she's getting fucked
and she's butt naked.
They stayed and watched the whole episode.
That's how dope we are.
That's not just a testimony to us.
That's a testimony to Lisa as well, man.
She's a great star.
Shout out to her, too, man.
Yo, Lisa's a star.
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean that 100%.
She has a very intriguing star quality.
Yeah.
And there's a reason why it resonated with porn, but it would have resonated with whatever other thing that she was doing.
She would have been successful in anything she wanted to do.
Yes.
Yeah.
She just decided to fuck on camera.
I mean, within the entertainment industry, yeah.
She has this, there's a magnetism.
Some people have that.
Yeah.
They just do.
You can't explain it.
She got it, bro.
Anyway, so I thought that was really cool.
We have some serious stuff to talk about, obviously.
Yeah, today sucks
today sucks i was in uh toronto last night for the game and oh god yeah it was i i've slept uh
maybe a combined total maybe two hours well outside of one thing let's just let's say two
hours in the last four days it's not really that but around it. I was in Toronto last night for the game.
There was a weird feeling in the arena.
It was an odd feeling.
What do you mean?
Odd like everybody felt like something is up
or odd like they're like, we're so happy, this is weird.
They were happy.
It was exciting.
But it didn't feel like a closeout game.
No.
It didn't.
The best way I can describe it is this.
And we'll go back to, you know, obviously KD and everything in a second. But when Kyle Lowry missed the shot or it got blocked, right?
Yeah.
It was the most anticlimactic finish to an nba finals game with a
last second shot that i've ever seen in my entire life and i think now that i really kind of process
it i think that they've hit every last second shot this playoffs so i think the entire stadium
in that moment was thinking this is it well yeah Well, yeah, we're just going to hit it.
Yeah.
I thought it was.
They didn't even realize they were down.
No.
So when you miss that shot, usually there's like a, oh.
Yeah.
You know, like everybody goes, oh, that exasperated moan or whatever it is.
It was silent.
Yeah.
It was so fucking weird.
I'll tell you.
It probably, because it translated on tv as well like i've never i told people like i've never watched a game that had no i mean i guess
in the brown about way had to do with the next but didn't have any nicks rooting interest that
i went through so many fucking up and down emotions watching that shit because it's like
at first like all right it's a formality like tomorrow's gonna close it out right whatever yes then it's like oh shit katie might be playing and then it's like oh shit
he actually looks really healthy and it's like oh shit he's busting their ass right and they're down
3-1 if there's any team if there's anything more poetic to happen to end this dynasty is them to
come back 3-1 and it looked like they was about to do it right because katie was looking like he
was on his way to a 40-point game.
Steph was getting loose.
And they were down by, like, double digits.
Right.
And then he fucking goes down.
And you hope for the best.
But, like, I felt like everybody knew immediately.
Like, nobody here is doctors.
I thought it was a calf strain.
And I was like, good.
Missed a couple games.
Oh, let me real quickly say something i
forgot to say this in the beginning um and i'm doing this at this point of the episode right now
so that alex doesn't have to go back and re-edit stuff but uh this episode uh is actually a two-part
episode right because the back half of this episode i'm telling you guys this now is an
interview with uh one of the most iconic um iconic character actors in the history of television.
It is Jeremy Piven.
The guy played Ari Gold on Entourage and a plethora of other characters he's in.
We have a great long conversation about him, comedy, him losing everything because of the Me Too movement and what he's doing now.
So it's a very, very cool combo.
Can't wait for you guys to listen to that.
Great follow-up to last week, too, man, just as far as, like, big guests and shit.
Talk about people getting fucked.
Yeah.
That's what we're doing out here.
But anyway, so keep tuning in to that, but back to the final.
Yeah, man.
So, like, just when he got hurt, everybody's like, nobody was really concerned with the
cap strain because they said he couldn't get hurt anymore. Well, that's what nobody was really concerned with the cap strain because they
said he couldn't get hurt anymore well that's what the doctors was telling people right can we but
anybody with any fucking brain is like yo if you're laboring one side something else is gonna
get fucked up if you're over overcompensating it was the same leg but when he went down that was
my thinking i'm like oh man he was going so hard to favor this it's something else
But then he saw the replay and the foot and you literally see the Achilles fucking pop. Yeah, I didn't see that until someone
Oh, yeah, I'm just a couple things
one addressing the booing
Yeah, the cheering or whatever. Sorry. Sorry, I'm just addressing the cheering in Toronto
To be fair
It was a little shocking that all these people were cheering.
And there were people, the chant was, KD's done.
KD's done.
Right?
But to be fair to them, everybody in that moment thought he just pulled his calf again.
That's what I thought.
Right?
And it was all calmed down.
And then when it looked like it was serious There was this
Kind of somber note
That took over the arena
And that's what I felt for almost the entire game
Shout out to Lowry and like
Habaka
Like no this isn't good
Yeah it was the right thing
But let's talk about something because we need to discuss something
The Warriors are scum
The Warriors are the scum of the warrior organization and that crocodile tear fake phony oscar worthing
bullshit performance that bob myers put on in that press conference where he fake cried talking
about it's an achilles injury motherfucker you knew it was why do you think that there was ice
on his achilles for the last two weeks why why do you think that uh every one of the reports that you got from the team doctors
said that there was an issue with his achilles right so let's talk about what scumbags this
organization is number one i have on very good authority that they were pressuring him to come
back absolutely not only were they pressuring him to come back internally they were pressuring him
to come back with the media yes so they were
dropping all these articles about why maybe he's faking maybe he's actually okay maybe he's
protecting himself etc even say number two number two real quick the reason why they're pressuring
him to come back is because they know he's gone so if something does come happen to him it doesn't
cost him anything you know he's off the books at the end of the year and you know he's not resigning now we got clay has a little hammy injury you know he's
resigning so what do you say to clay you say please don't play game three you could possibly
hurt yourself how dare you though now i know you're coming back to my team and i gotta protect
your body but this guy over here that i know is, I don't care if his whole shit busts.
Go beat it.
And this nice guy approach that Steve Kerr uses all the time, this, I'm a sweetheart.
I'm just here.
I'm just lucky to be in this position.
Shut the fuck up, you ruthless piece of shit.
At the end of the day, you knew this guy had a partially torn Achilles.
I don't know for a fact it was partially torn, but remember when I said he's not playing?
Yeah.
The reason I said he's not playing is because the information I got was accurate.
It's partially torn.
That he shouldn't have fucking played.
And it's not even just you.
There was not one single report.
Like, when somebody's injured...
Now, we gotta give Flagron credit.
We get credit on this motherfucking podcast.
We never said before anybody else he is not playing.
He said, the only way I could see him playing is if they go down two games,
but he still shouldn't play
or he's still not probably going to play.
Because what my prediction,
not my prediction,
what I basically said
was based on the fact
that the injury was far more severe
than people knew.
And this is,
to use your point about the media,
another way I think
they kind of pressured him
was since the fucking day he got hurt,
he could be back in a week.
And when it goes four weeks
and you keep saying, oh, I think he might come back this
game. He'll likely come back game three
or game four. Then you start looking
at KD like, what the fuck, dog?
So now we have an interesting
situation and it's really interesting because
of
the parallel with Kawhi's
last year.
And
what happened was Kawhi got injured.
He didn't like the treatment that he got from his team.
Him and his uncle, Uncle Dennis,
basically said, hey, we're going to sit out.
We have to recover and we want to trade.
We don't want to be part of this organization because you don't
value my health.
What does the organization do when you have
somebody meddling in your
player's ability to play for that organization?
They have to cut that person's legs out from under them, right?
So they call you crazy.
It's no different than what they did with Chappelle, right?
Chappelle goes to Africa.
Sure, sure.
But Chappelle goes to Africa, right?
And leaves $50 million on the table.
They're like, well, shit, we can't let the general public know what Chappelle knows.
So you get like the Spurs brass.
You get the fucking pillars of that franchise.
You get Ginobili talking shit about Kawhi.
Tony Parker.
He's not a good teammate.
Bruce Bowen, who's in the press.
Literally, everybody was shitting on this dude.
Most importantly, not only Kawhi, it's the father figure.
It's Dennis.
You go after the person that's advising him.
And you call them crazy right because you want to
delegitimize them in the press and hopefully use the press to delegitimize dennis in this situation
to kawaii right so it's like you're playing it's warfare right here right so what what happens
kawaii actually trusts uncle dennis that we all think is a nut job from jersey i mean even my friends in the league were like who the fuck is this guy like why does he even care now kawaii's
in the finals up 3-2 and could potentially win should win a championship and now you have kd
someone who doesn't have an uncle dennis somebody who obviously has his mother but he doesn't have
someone in his life who's gonna say hey sit your ass down on the fucking bench. Don't be a
hero here. You're not built to play for this
and you are going to fall apart if you go out
there and I don't give a fuck what the organization says
or what the media says. You are not playing.
He didn't have an Uncle Dennis in this situation.
A crazy Uncle Dennis. And now he's
going to miss the next year recovering from an Achilles injury.
And he might not ever be the same.
And he might not ever be the same. That's the one part
that fucks me up the most.
If it was a cap strain or whatever the fuck it was
that he originally was hurt from,
we all assumed by the
start of next year he'd be back to normal.
But this shit completely
changes the entire fucking
face of the NBA. Not just for the
Warriors, not just for the Knicks.
Everything is fucking different.
If you're KD, do you opt in?
Yes.
You got to.
I opt in just to fuck Golden State over.
You fucking have to.
Pay me $30 million to recover, you piece of shit, and then I'm leaving immediately afterwards.
Now, let me ask you.
Opt in just for everybody who's listening.
So, KD has a player option next year with the Golden State Warriors.
So, it's his choice to either opt out and test free agency or opt in with the Warriors
and take the $31 million
that they owe.
And the $31 million
he could essentially
for the whole year rehab
he gets to fuck over
the Warriors
because now they're
in cap trouble
they can't sign people
and
Oh shit.
Yeah.
And that's what I would do
out of spite.
Of course.
But here's the thing
he's gonna get offered
Four years for $160.
He's gonna get offered
the full thing
from all the teams.
They're going to go, hey, rehab for a year.
We trust your greatness that you'll be able to come back.
An injury that I can only think of one person that came back from.
Who?
Brent Grimes.
Yeah.
It's the only successful ACL.
I was hoping there was another.
I mean, Achilles.
Oh, sorry, Achilles.
I'm trying to think.
I'm trying to think who.
Wesley Matthews played.
He wasn't as good.
Wesley's not the same, bro.
The Achilles is almost like the fucking...
Dude, there's a goddamn Greek character based on Greek God, based on this fucking injury.
Yes, like that's how devastating it is.
He was unstoppable.
KD is a Greek God before this.
Unstoppable, great defender, hitting threes from anywhere.
Kind of a bitch, but whatever.
Hurts his Achilles, never the same.
I'm so...
That's a great point.
I've never...
Can I defend the Spurs real quick?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm not a huge Spurs fan, but I respect them.
Sure, sure.
Pop has a history of sitting players against the Warriors when they had the dirty play
and slid their...
Yeah, Zaza Pachulia.
Pop did not let Kawhi play.
He's like, he's not playing.
He did that, I think, in a series before,
and he had done that with Tim Duncan before, too,
in like a game seven, I think.
He was like, he's not playing.
We're going to prioritize his health.
I still believe you, but I do think they're a little more.
And let me clarify.
I don't know where the blame goes on that,
and I think it's, and I love Pop,
so like my own bias is going to slide in here.
I would love to believe that Pop was not part of the decision-making
on the Spurs that said that he was ready to go
and his injury was over-exaggerated or whatever.
I would like to believe Pop was like,
hey, if Kawhi says he's injured, he's injured.
But the Spurs were like, well, we're also paying him a lot of money,
so get the fuck out of there.
I mean, they're team doctors for a reason.
The one thing I'm taking away from this is that the job of a team doctor in the NBA is
going to be fucking scarce as fuck going forward.
Ooh, why?
Because the Kawhi shit, the LeBron shit, fucking-
What's the LeBron thing?
The groin.
So with the groin-
Did they fuck that up?
Remember they had that fucking nurse that went on Instagram and was like, wow, this
guy's such a warrior.
He came back.
He shouldn't be playing, yada, yada, yada.
They hid what his real injury was.
You know what I mean?
So with team doctors, they're doing what's best for the team.
They're doing what's best for the owner and the guy who's cutting their checks,
which is your Bob Myers, your Rob Palenka, your whoever the fuck runs the Spurs.
And if they're down 3-1, their dynasty's on the line,
they don't know what the fuck they'll do,
they're going to do whatever their boss tells them to do.
If you're a max player, you know what you do?
If you're a max player on your staff, you have a personal doctor.
So let me ask you this question.
Should the players' union step in?
Absolutely.
Wait for it, but yes.
And say, the medical staff for each team will be provided by the team, paid for by the team, but it'll be chosen by the players union.
So the players union will hire a medical staff for each team, which the Lakers will pay for, the Knicks will pay for, but they will be beholden to the players union.
So if you fuck up a player, guess where you ain't getting another job.
Yeah.
There might be another way to go around it because, like you guys said,
if they're completely loyal to the Lakers and their job is to get LeBron
back out on the floor, not get him healthy,
you're not going to get the most out of these doctors for the injuries
that they have to deal with.
I mean, the one thing that whole team went through
and Kerr went through and Bob Myers,
they all said there was no way he could re-injure it.
He could only strain it more.
That's the only risk.
There was no Achilles danger.
And that's a team doctor thing.
That's what I'm saying.
When it comes to medicine, it's subjective.
Everybody recovers differently.
They give timelines, but you have Grimes who came back from an Achilles
and no one else.
So it's like you can't
put it on the doctor.
But if you know it's an Achilles injury...
That was my suggestion,
but he just didn't recover
in the way that I could.
But Alex,
if you know it's an Achilles injury,
don't fuck with that.
If you have any...
And if the thing is
it's a calf strain
and then he tears his Achilles,
I guess it's possible
it's a freak fucking tear
of the Achilles for no reason,
but that doesn't really make sense to me.
So to me, it seems like what makes sense is you are out with an Achilles injury,
Andrew has horses that say as much,
and all of a sudden you're playing on an Achilles,
and then you tear your Achilles.
It's probably the team that ruined your career.
And if I'm KD, I opt in for the full year, rehab, say it's going great,
and then I sign a big deal somewhere else.
But then he takes the chance that they know he's going to leave after
so they can put out reports that the rehab isn't going that well.
So they fuck up his chance of getting the max contract.
At this point, I'd take that chance.
Really?
At this point, I'd take that chance.
You see, it worked out for Kawhi.
Kawhi had to eat shit from the Spurs for the entire year.
Didn't say nothing.
And I guess Kawhi's more built for that than KD is because KD's more out there.
He tweets.
He interacts with motherfuckers.
Kawhi doesn't give a fuck.
He's a robot.
So, like, he ate the shit for a year.
He came back to Toronto.
Now he's a hero, right?
If I'm KD, I'd take that chance.
Opt in.
Rehab.
Put it on Golden State's tab.
And then next, Get your own team doctor
And then next year
You go and get your big money
I mean that's the smart thing to do
Yeah but you want to take the chance
Of the team saying that
Oh he's not rehabbing as well
Fuck the team
But then you go rehab on your own
Like Kawhi
Kawhi straight left
The Spurs Medical Treatment Center
And was
Their team was like
Nah I got my own team in New York
That's what I'm doing
I think even Porzingis did that too
Didn't he like fly back to Lithuania To rehab or fly back to where the fuck he is?
Maybe.
I don't know.
It's a tragic thing.
It's bad for a few different reasons, right?
It's like, one, this game in general is bad for a few reasons.
One, because the ending, it was so anticlimactic because it robbed Kawhi of his Jordan moment.
It was so anticlimactic because it robbed Kawhi of his Jordan moment.
There was a point at the end of this game where Kawhi scored 10 straight points.
It was unbelievable.
It's like he just flipped the switch and we all knew, like, okay, it's over.
As soon as I got the lead, I was actually— Three minutes left.
They were up six.
He scores 10 straight points.
He had the three, a couple hard twos, another big three on Boogie.
And it was so fucking dominant.
I'm just watching this happen.
I'm like, he's the best player in the league.
This is the way you win a game.
This is the way you close out a series.
He was hitting those fucking threes in front of Draymond back to back.
And I just thought, it's done.
The momentum, the crowd was fucking rocking.
Dude, it was nuts.
He was stopping and popping for those little mid-ranges.
I was like, yo, it's over.
And then once that moving screen happened,
and it was one point to win the game,
who else do you want with the ball in your hand than Kawhi Leonard?
I don't understand why.
First of all, Nick Nurse called a timeout when they were up six, I think, right?
So here's the thing.
They're up six.
Nick Nurse calls a timeout.
And he'll be criticized for that.
Yeah.
He's getting killed for that shit.
But if you remember the play that came after it.
So they call a timeout up six.
Forget exactly how much time left.
Maybe three minutes left, right?
It was about three minutes, yeah.
Up six, calls a timeout.
They come out of the timeout.
Kyle Lowry goes pick and roll to Marc Gasol.
Marc Gasol gets hammered at the rim.
Right.
No call.
Right, I remember that.
They got the shot they wanted.
That's why you call a timeout, right?
It's like, don't get me wrong, you are cooking,
and everybody, what is it, Monday morning quarterback,
so they're going to be critical.
But they got the shot they wanted.
He should have gone to the line, had two.
He's a good free throw shooter.
Or he could have made that layup with some contact.
That was a makeable layup with contact.
Definitely.
It turns into fast break.
Either Klay or Steph.
Klay hit the first three.
Klay hits the first three.
Klay hits the first three.
Then they run Steph off that curl.
And then they get it back.
And then they tie it up.
Here's what I would say
I don't remember in all the years I've watched basketball
A team going on a run and then calling the timeout
On themselves
It is a
I was talking to guys after the game
And it is conventional wisdom
You're up six
You know this is a big possession
Because you lock this down and that's kind of the game
You score one more and that's kind of the game Why You score one more, and that's kind of the game.
Why don't we get a good play?
Yeah, you let the defense get set, but you also get everybody on the same page.
He did say his guys looked gassed for a while.
Is it conventional wisdom against the Warriors?
It's conventional basketball wisdom.
Warriors don't have their own rule set, right?
And Kyle knew it too, right?
Kyle is a high IQ basketball player. I love the way Kyle
played, by the way. He played great yesterday. He fucking played
his ass off, and I'd love to see him play again
like that for the rest of the series, but
even he was on the same page, right?
He goes across half court, and Kyle starts looking
back at Nurse, and Nurse is calling for
timeout, and Kyle's like, I think we call timeout. Let's just set it
up and get one. If that layup goes in,
Nick Nurse is a genius for calling that
play and then getting a bucket. If it doesn't,
how could he call the timeout?
I'll live with that.
We're not giving enough credit to
the Splash Brothers. Bro, they did what they do.
They had no business winning
at that run, at that point
that the fucking Raptors were cooking
and the arena was rocking.
They had no business.
They're the only team that wins that game,
that has two weapons that can literally go off for six or nine points
in quick seconds like that.
They're the only team in the world that can pull that off.
Makes me sick.
And they did it, again.
Makes me fucking sick.
And they both did it doing what they do.
The other question I have, Monday morning quarterback,
why don't you run a pick and roll for Kawhi on Klay,
who is their best perimeter defender, on the last position?
They let Kawhi go iso, and I was wondering, and maybe somebody said it,
and that's why I was wondering, but like pick and roll.
I actually think Kawhi waved them off.
So if you go pick and roll, you run the risk of getting trapped,
passing out of the trap, and then getting a pick.
Fair enough. That's the idea right
i think in that position kawaii felt i mean he just scored 10 straight right so there's nobody
that he needs to switch on he can get his buckets on clay he can get his buckets on anybody uh it's
it's really credit to fucking and once again iggy of nowhere, makes an amazing play,
amazing defensive play.
He had great health defense.
He came all the way over.
They ran the risk.
They ran the risk of giving up that layup because Iggy came to help.
From weak side.
The weak side help came to guard whoever was down in the post
to give up the open layup because that's what would happen
if they got a double team.
They kicked it back out.
They got Kyle Lowry a pretty open shot, and Draymond made a hell of a defensive play to stop it. He did. So it's like they made a double team. They kicked it back out. They got Kyle Lowry a pretty open shot and Draymond made a hell of a
defensive play to stop it. So it's like
they made the right play.
It's just, they're champions
dog. The Warriors are champions for a reason.
They're not just some pretty jump shooter
motherfuckers. They make those dirty plays
that you need to win at the end of the game.
When you have championship
teams, man, you got to cut their
head off when you have the chance to.
Because now they're alive.
They're going back to Oracle.
They got all the emotion and the momentum behind them to pull some shit out.
And they have a narrative.
Now they have it.
Because this is very interesting.
What will not be in the news this week is the Warriors let KD play when they knew that his achilles was at risk of popping
what will be the story is what pieces of shit those toronto fans are booing a guy who got injured
it's like well why was he even in the position to get injured yeah like they're gonna make it
they're gonna make kd a hero he gave everything Gave it all for his team
You fucking pieces of shit
We'll find out in July
What KD really thinks
Real talk
We'll find out in July
What KD really thinks
And you know what
He gonna say it
Of course
KD gonna say it
Of course
Cause as much as
As much as it makes sense
For him to opt in
And be petty
And have Golden State
You know pay for that rehab
I wouldn't be surprised If he says, fuck you guys, I'm out.
Yeah.
I'm going to go rehab where I want to rehab.
Does this hurt the perception of the Warriors within the league for players?
He's a big free agent looking at the Warriors.
Like Giannis, there's rumors already kind of starting that maybe Giannis
goes to Golden State when he's free if KD leaves.
If I'm Giannis, am I looking at that like, you know,
I'm kind of similar to Bill to KD like, you know, I'm kind of similar to
Bill to KD, much more muscle, but kind of similar.
Do I want to do that?
Do I want to risk an injury and then they throw me out there,
parade me out there before I'm ready?
Who knows, man.
I don't know. It might.
I think it's worth
chewing on.
I do. I think what
the real takeaway
from this is for players is if you're hurt, be hurt.
Sit.
Sit.
You don't have to be a hero.
This is a job.
Okay?
This is a job, and your job is dependent on your physical ability.
And if your physical ability is hampered for the rest of your life, you no longer
have a job. Look at Isaiah Thomas.
Was it you that texted me that?
He's about to be out the fucking league, possibly.
He'll be in the big three killing.
How many of these lessons do we need to learn?
He's going to need to learn Chinese lessons.
It's different because
so many times, we kind of did the same
thing with Derrick Rose, but social media wasn't that
crazy back then, so we don't know the very intricacies of every team doctor.
But being clear to play and ready to contribute
and not hurt yourself are two very different things.
A team can clear you to play.
But if I don't feel like I can go, I ain't going.
And that's what happened with Kawhi on the Spurs.
Did you notice how they worded it?
This is how clever these motherfuckers are.
He was never cleared to play.
Cleared to practice.
And the no minutes restriction thing.
Did you see that?
The no minutes restriction thing is what raises the fucking red flag for me.
I'm like, dog.
But what is cleared to practice, Kaz?
You could be cleared to practice with a whole cast on your leg.
You could just do layups.
Practice isn't anything.
Jalen Rose was on
Get Up talking about how
the reason why he didn't see him playing is because
they tried to work him out before game four.
And it was basically just like a three-on-three.
And it just wasn't going, right?
And quote-unquote, he said,
he punted the workout because he just couldn't
go. He just couldn't go.
And that's the whole thing that raises the red
flag for me, dog.
Not just is it going to affect the Warriors and how free agents look at there,
but just team doctors in general.
I think players are going to take more power back more than ever,
especially if you're a max guy, if you're a superstar type player,
and say, fuck the team doctors.
They are my own guy.
I'm not risking it if I feel like I'm in danger and now my bag's fucked up.
What do you think happens with the end of the series? Predictions.
I still think Toronto wins it because,
to be honest, even when KD was playing,
this is one of the few times as a sports fan I've been supremely confident,
and it didn't work.
But even when KD was balling,
I was like, whatever,
they're going to weather the storm.
Then when KD went down,
I was like, they're going to win.
Then when they went down five,
I was like, oh shit, they might lose.
But I still kept thinking
Steph cannot run like this
now the one thing
that's different
is two days off
between the next two games
but my feeling is
Steph isn't built
like LeBron
to carry a heavy
heavy workload
night in and night out
he can break down
and that's what happened
now again
it was only one day
between games
but between game three
and game four
and Bill Simmons actually said this it was a one day between games, but between game three and game four. Right. And Bill Simmons actually said this.
It was a really brilliant plan from Nick Nurse in game four.
After Steph went crazy in game three, just run around everywhere.
Frenetic pace, up and down the court.
In the second half, he'll wear down.
And that's what happened.
In the second half, Steph started missing.
He got tired.
And there's an extra day of rest, but I tend to think the same thing will happen.
Yeah.
Cass, what are your predictions?
I still think the Raptors close it out in the Oracle.
I've said Raptors in six for a while,
even though people say I go back and forth.
No, you said Warriors first.
You've been saying all these.
I do think the Raptors close it out
in six.
I think that even in
KD's very little
productivity, all 11 of those points,
they needed every one of those points just to squeak by by one point.
Not having him having a whole game to pretty much swarm Steph Curry
and make sure he's not effective.
I just think it's going to be too much,
and I think Toronto closes it out Thursday, man.
Yeah, and I think Boogie, something Andrew pointed out,
I don't think Boogie can go heavy nights back-to-back.
No. Heavy minutes, back-to-back. No.
Heavy minutes, back-to-back games.
I think he's going to have a worse game.
I think he started to fall apart at the end of the last game.
Yeah.
That's why he had the moving screen.
The one goaltend that they called and upheld the call,
I think it was a bad call.
Yeah, I thought it was good.
But he just got tired, I think.
And he's coming back from a torn quad and a torn Achilles.
And mind you, he was about to not play.
They had, I forgot who they started.
They started with the Hamptons five.
So Draymond was essentially playing center.
Then they threw Kevon Looney out there, who's clavicle or whatever the fuck is fucked up.
Broken cartilage or whatever.
You know what I'm saying?
And Boogie was sitting there not getting no burn.
Then Boogie got out there.
And once Boogie got out there
before Boogie,
I'm like,
all right,
they're not planning
on playing Boogie at all.
But Looney gets hurt again.
Boogie needs a blow
and they just fuck it
and threw Boogie out there.
And they gave him
what they could give him
at that point.
But to think he's going
to come through with that
for the rest of the series.
It's so many injuries
that the Warriors
got to weather.
It's so many depth issues.
It's like they've seen.
Fuck the Warriors.
That's what's sad about it.
It's sad, son.
It's sad.
Katie is sad.
To make it to the championship and your whole team is just fucking breaking down.
You know what?
I wish Andrew was here for this.
I want to go through every championship the Warriors had.
Their first championship was 2015.
Okay.
Clay said something about this yesterday, but you're right.
They're down 2-1 to the Grizzlies.
Grit and grind Grizzlies.
Wear you the fuck down before they got champion confidence
to Warriors. Mike Conley,
arguably their most important player, maybe second
to Marc Gasol at the time. Facial
fracture doesn't play the rest of the series. That's
the conference semifinals. Conference finals
you play Houston, Harden and Howard in the playoffs.
Who gives a fuck?
Finals, LeBron,
no Kyrie,
no Kevin Love.
That's how you get your first chip.
They lose the next year
and they blame
a one-game suspension
on Draymond,
which might have been bullshit,
but you also forget
he kicked a dude
in the dick this series before
and got away with it.
And that's why
he got suspended this time
because he was
a repeat offender.
A little dick kick.
Then the next year, you are down 20 points in the conference finals.
To whom?
Kawhi Leonard, the guy that's destroying you now.
And Zaza Pachulia, this dirty fuck, slides his foot underneath him.
And then he gets hurt and they sweep the Spurs.
The next year, you're down 3-2 to the Rockets.
Chris Paul playing his ass off.
Harden ain't really doing shit. Chris Paul strains his hamstring. And then you win the next year you're down 3-2 to the Rockets Chris Paul playing his ass off Harden ain't really
doing shit
Chris Paul strains
his hamstring
and then you win
the next two
find me one championship
they didn't win
without injuries
to marquee players
on the other team
yeah Clay Thompson
said this in the
press conference
after the game
he said
we've been very fortunate
to be on the other
side of injury luck
man fuck Clay Thompson
for being a good
sport about it
he's like yo we've been very fortunate to be on the other side of injury luck. Man, fuck Ray Thompson for being a good sport about it. He's like, he's like,
yo, we've been very fortunate
to be on the other side
of injury look,
but I think now
we're getting it all back.
You're not getting it all back.
It's one series, you fuck.
It's the finals.
You just made
Sure.
You're getting 2015 back.
Here's my thing.
I'd much rather
these injuries happen
before you get to the finals
because to have that
be the defining factor in this,
it kind of makes it anticlimactic.
Nobody brings it up for 2015.
Yes, we do.
Have you read it to any LeBron fan?
Literally, all say,
we went in there with Matthew Delvedova as the second best player.
It's wildly accepted.
Because straight up, they would have won that series.
Yes, yes.
Straight up, you would have won that series. Yes, yes. It was wild. Straight up.
He took two games.
You would have won that series.
He took two games in Oracle.
When you look at the history of the Warriors, you count them as an all-time great team.
Three championships in four years, potentially four out of five.
There's no asterisk there.
But now you want an asterisk?
Because KD went out?
No.
There's no asterisk championship.
You of all people should know that.
I don't think we should give them an asterisk.
I'm just saying as a basketball fan, I'm like, damn.
This isn't how it was.
Yeah, I just wanted to see a better series.
Bro, that first quarter.
The whole playoffs has been fucking amazing.
And then for the finals to be like, wow.
If it's in a completely fair world, all these series have been fair series.
2015 is a fair series.
2016 is a fair series.
2017, 2018, all fair.
In a fair world.
No, I'm not talking about fair on fair.
So to me, they're an asterisk dynasty,
and I think anybody complaining about KD.
I'm fucked up about that.
It's an asterisk dynasty.
This would be the one.
It's part of the game.
Nobody's going to put an asterisk on this Warriors dynasty
just because injuries happen.
Like, if you go back and look at everybody.
What the Nickicks doing?
What's up?
You know why Katie got hurt?
Watch next season.
You know why Katie got hurt?
Watch next season.
Katie thought about going to the Knicks and ruined his career.
Even thinking about going to the Knicks ruins your career.
It's over.
You can't recover from that.
All right, so to take my.
That's how shitty the Knicks are.
Take my sympathy hat off of the Warriors right now to calm any Knicks fans.
Sympathy for the Warriors? No!
Sympathy for the Knicks.
Usually, this type of fucked up luck happens
when they sign to the Knicks.
Usually.
As fucked up as it is,
as fucked up as it is,
Knicks fans, you got a lot of young talent.
You're going to draft another good young talent.
You're still going to have a shit ton of cap space that you
can save for next year.
It sucks. You're not getting the best player
in the world anymore.
At least you got the number one draft pick.
At least you got the...
Did you see what R.J. Barrett said yesterday?
Shut the fuck up.
You didn't watch any college basketball this year.
It was as soon as he signed.
I watched R.J. Barrett lose in the fucking
Elite Eight or whatever. As soon as he signed. I was talking about Andre Barrett losing the fucking Elite Eight or whatever.
As soon as he closed on his property in New York.
I will tell you about the name Kobe.
As soon as he closed on his property in New York.
Andrew, I said even thinking about going to the Knicks ruins your career.
That's true.
That's fucking true.
I said it's usual Knicks luck.
Yeah.
But this usually happens when they sign to New York.
That's usually what happens. So as
fucked up as it sounds, Knicks fans,
you've been in worse positions.
What did I tell you, man? I said
the Knicks are not getting KD.
Come on, get the fuck out of here.
I said the Knicks are not getting KD.
You also said KD not coming back.
And he shouldn't have.
Hold on, first of all,
I was 100% right about KD not coming back.
But still, you cannot take credit for this.
I actually reviewed the tape.
He said he might come back if they go down two games.
That is exactly what happened.
So exactly what I said was right.
We're definitely not getting KD next, and we're not going to get Kyrie.
I'm right about that.
Now Kyrie is going to go to the fucking Brooklyn Nets.
That's the best thing that could happen to you guys.
Which is great.
I don't want Kyrie, sure.
But the Knicks are going to end up getting Chris Middleton and Tobias Harris.
Watch.
I don't think they're going to sign those guys.
I think they saved their money.
I think they're going to go all in on the kids.
Like, I think you spend that money with the assumption that you got a guy like KD coming.
Now that you know you don't have to get him a complimentary, like, all-star with him,
you fucking chill.
You save your money.
You work on those kids.
You don't have the pressure of like, oh, we
gotta get KD. Okay, we gotta win a championship.
Okay, we gotta do all this shit. The pressure is
off the Knicks now. Just do
what the fuck you've been doing. Just draft and
build. That's it.
I don't know what we've built.
Look at the personal nets!
All you gotta do is look across the bridge.
They were shit four years ago.
Absolute shit. They had cap space problems.
They had no prospects.
They had no draft picks.
Now they are the premier destination in New York.
And it's crazy that they still rebuild faster than you guys.
And they rebuild faster than us because they stuck as much as I don't fuck with the Nets
and I'm the next guy throwing through.
They stuck to their plan.
They developed the guys that they drafted.
They made smart trades to get more draft picks.
And they built from within.
So all you got to do is look across the bridge and be like, hey, it's not all that fucking terrible.
You're not going to get KD.
Or if you get KD, you're going to get an injured version of him.
But you've been in worse positions before.
Don't panic.
The pressure's off now.
don't panic the pressure's off now you can build like a regular competent nba franchise does and not swing for the fucking dream scenario like we've always been used to come on fuck the next
dude fucking suck we need to turn on the next dude we really need to turn on i actually do
think we need to turn on the fucking next this idea that we're so loyal to the fucking
it's propaganda everything it. We assert everything.
It never works.
Name a franchise that it's worked for.
Name a loyal franchise that has ended up winning again.
The Browns.
They haven't won shit.
The Browns were pretty good last year.
They haven't won shit.
They haven't played shit. They haven't played shit.
They didn't even make a playoff.
You could say the same thing about the Brooklyn Nets.
They haven't won shit.
Exactly.
But they're on their way.
They're also a new franchise.
Also, nobody's loyal to them.
They have to win so they can get fans.
Okay.
I'm talking about, look at LA.
The second LA starts losing, nobody gives a fuck.
They're not a loyal team.
There's other shit in LA, though.
Say what?
What have you done for me lately?
Is there not other shit in New York?
This is the thing.
We need to have a more what have you done for me lately attitude
about our sports teams
so that they do some shit for us lately.
What have you done for me lately, Knicks?
What have you done for me lately?
Like, have you seen Star Row on the Knicks?
It's the same guy from the Sopranos.
They can't even get real celebrities
to show up with fucking Knicks hands.
Who's the portrait of that motherfucker
two weeks ago?
What's his name?
I don't remember.
What was his name on the show?
Whatever.
Big pussy or something.
Bobby Bacala.
They got a dude from that movie
with Jamie Foxx.
We can't even name
the fucking guys.
Breaking Bad.
The white guy.
Okay, they got Aaron Paul.
Aaron Paul.
No.
Bryan Cranston.
It doesn't matter.
We can't even name Celebrity Row.
Dude, Celebrity Row is so sad.
They veer over to him.
It's like some guy from SNL you've never fucking
heard of. Then they show a picture
of the character he plays and people are like,
we don't watch that shit. It's embarrassing.
It is embarrassing.
Cardi goes to the Barclays Center now, bro.
Cardi goes to the Barclays Center now, man.
I don't think she'd be able to go to the Barclays Center.
Man, this idea that you support your teams
when they're good in bed, it is propaganda
from ownership so they don't have to be good.
Because if we were all honest and we were like,
yo, why would I go torture myself?
You pay for season tickets to watch your team lose constantly.
Thousands and thousands of dollars.
I'm not paying for any Cowboys shit until I start winning.
I'll watch a game,
but I'm not putting no money in your pocket directly.
No.
Fuck that. Why would I do it? The the owner sucks we don't get anything from them like it's just the weirdest thing the only thing that they can provide us is wins yeah so why would we support them when they
don't win and they make bad moves business i'm a guy who loves basketball and it's been a while since I could watch like a
young team develop within the Knicks and not just break it up for one of those
I'm sorry what's the trade real quick what the fuck is it in us to support a
losing team propaganda I understand that I'm saying what what is what is in it
for me you have to for me personally Jesus was supposed to come back year after year after year. And you just still have faith that maybe one of these days he's coming back.
So you're comparing Nick's being good to Jesus' being good.
What's still going to happen?
We're going to get a chip one day.
What's still going to happen, Jesus?
We're comparing the return of our Lord and Savior to Nick's ever being good.
And just like Jesus, it's not going to happen until we're dead.
Okay?
We're not going to see shit
until we fucking die.
Gotta have faith.
That's what's going to happen.
No.
I'm not going to have faith.
Also, Jesus makes you pay way less for attendance.
Okay?
Jesus does not.
Jesus is like,
give me 10%.
Okay?
Jesus is not charging $300 a ticket.
That is true.
What about those megachurches though?
Say what?
Those megachurches.
They take credit cards. They do, yeah. You give whatever is true. What about those megachurches though? Say what? Those megachurches. They take credit cards.
They do, yeah.
You give whatever you want.
They pass those buckets
and you can put a dollar
in that shit if you want to.
It's up to you.
It's like a yogurt
to the people.
I don't know, bro.
That's a good reference.
Me and my heart of hearts,
I can't find myself,
I can't find the heart
to cheer for another team.
I want to have this conversation.
That's why.
I understand what you're saying.
We understand that.
I have a friend.
Real quick.
We understand it's propaganda.
It's not propaganda.
This is just how a business runs, right?
You want to find ways to people support your business.
No different.
That being said, we have to truly start asking ourselves,
what do we get out of supporting a business that sucks?
It's un-American.
Do you know what it is?
It's socialism. It's communism. It's un-American. Do you know what it is? It's socialism.
It's communism.
It's communism.
Supporting a bad basketball team
is collusion with Russia.
You are a Russian
if you support the Knicks.
You like the Knicks,
you are a fucking Russian.
A commie bastard.
You made Chernobyl happen. There is a
Chernobyl happening right now
on 32nd Street and
7th Avenue every fucking season.
And we need to put a stop to it.
They need to cover it with
that same shit they put over Chernobyl.
The radioactive waves have made their way to Golden State.
God.
It drives me crazy. We get
nothing from it.
Why do we support it?
You have season tickets.
I'm asking this question of myself.
I'm trying to have a come to God moment.
I don't know, bro.
I have to re-up these tickets.
I don't know.
Some bitch named Nancy is going to pick up the phone.
I'm going to ask for better seats.
And she's going to say, well, this is the best we can do.
No, it's not.
It's fucking absurd that we should support a shitty team. It's not American
Everybody hates James Doerr. We're Venezuelans. This is Venezuelan
They're eating
Paper down there. They are they're eating paper down there.
They are.
They're eating paper.
Shouts to Aiden.
Shouts to Aiden.
Fuck.
Yo, everybody hates James Dolan.
Why would you keep putting money in his pocket?
Starve him out.
I mean, he's not going to starve, but if he stops making money for long enough,
he'll be like, you know what?
Maybe I should sell this thing.
That's the only way you get rid of bad ownership.
Quick update.
Golden State's Kevin Durant is traveling to New York for doctor evaluations on his injured right Achilles right now.
Can he fly on that thing?
I don't know.
He's on his way to New York right now.
It's better than flying cross country to Golden State.
By the time this podcast drops, we'll have you official.
Oh, it's an hour away.
No, he's traveling to New York.
Traveling is probably called.
So, I am like about to birth a blood vessel over this idea.
It just fucking hit me.
These fascists.
These fucking fascists.
The fan base is the fascists.
Or you're like North Korean supporters.
Isn't the ownership the fascists?
Sure, or you're like North Korean supporters where you just are so sure.
Like, I got to keep supporting Kim Jong-un.
He's doing right by us.
No, he's not.
Dude, you know what's crazy?
It's time to revolt.
That is such a great fucking reference that you made because you know how the Kim Jong-un
people, what are they called?
North Koreans?
Yeah.
The North Koreans are like, yeah, Kim Jong-un doesn't even have an asshole.
Yeah.
Like, he doesn't even shit.
Right?
You know what's also not believable?
That the Knicks will ever be good.
The Knicks are going to get KD.
It is more believable that Kim Jong-un does not have an asshole
because he is so fat.
I don't think he's taken a shit since I started seeing him
as the dictator of that country.
Then the Knicks could potentially be good at basketball.
I'm so depressed, Ro at basketball. This is.
I'm so depressed, bro.
Good.
Get depressed.
I'm depressed because it's like.
You got to hit bottom, guys.
The more I think about it, KD getting hurt, like, it lets Dolan off the hook.
It lets Dolan off the hook.
You always let Dolan off the hook.
No, no, no, no.
But this lets him off the hook more than ever.
Because if KD was healthy and the entire world knew KD wants wants to come to the Knicks and he still swung and missed on
Katie and ended up staying in Golden State the fire around James Dolan for
him to sell the fucking team would have been hotter than he is Daenerys now
that our Gary is mother of dragons there's nothing that can happen to him
he is impervious to fire he doesn't't care. Kaz will write an entire article
calling Magic Johnson a task.
This is a guy who's been a writer for upwards of a decade
and a half. Never once
has he written an article saying, hey,
Knicks, fix your shit
before I give a fuck again.
You're right. You've had this power the whole time.
You're like the Incredible Hulk in The Last Avengers.
But I know this, though.
But I know the Knicks would be in better shape if they had better ownership.
I know this.
I'm trying to work within the system here.
The Knicks, they just rebuild them, man.
I'm trying to work within the system here, and it's not helping.
That is how New York rebuilds and shit.
Man, it's on union time, the Knicks rebuild.
Word.
Word.
It's delayed by four years every year.
Oh, my gosh.
I don't know.
I'm just hurt. I've just hurt. I've been hurt.
I've been hurt this past like 12 hours
since this whole thing happened.
I don't think I've been this devastated for an injury
since like, it reminds me of like RG3.
Like the RG3 era when he was on
the Redskins and you know, they brought him back
quicker than he was supposed to come back.
And like, he's not even on my team. RG3's a
fucking idiot, dude. That meant nothing
to me. And I'm a football fan.
Really?
I'm a football fan.
Let me say two things.
One.
That guy's mouth is too big.
Two.
That guy's the biggest fucking mouth I've ever seen in my entire life.
Guys, when's the last time an injury really was like, damn?
He's not even on the team.
Like, damn, that's fucked up.
Kobe.
Kobe had a full fucking career.
I was still five years.
I was still seven.
An injury that really affected me.
This, RG3, and Derrick Rose.
Those are the only
three injuries.
You know what?
Actually, Kobe got hurt
with it at the end of his career.
Torn Achilles.
Yeah.
But he was also 37, 38.
He was up there in age.
He was old.
Yeah.
You guys want a little scoop?
What's a scoop?
Well, this is what I think.
This is what I think is going down. I think there's a little scoop? What's a scoop? Well, this is what I think is going down.
I think there's a little power struggle
in L.A.
between Kobe and Magic
for who's going to own the Lakers.
Really, though?
I think there's a chance
that the buses could sell.
And I think that's what Magic
and Kobe want to happen.
To Bean?
Sorry?
You'd sell it to Bean?
I don't understand.
To Kobe Bean.
To sell the Lakers to Kobe?
Oh, oh, oh.
Kobe Bean Bryant.
Yeah, Kobe Bean Bryant.
Okay, this is a little speculation.
I don't have anything that can confirm this specifically, but I've heard little whispers.
Kobe and Magic both want to buy the Lakers.
Together?
No, no.
Separate.
Okay.
Competition.
Now, neither of them can afford it because both of them are broke when it really comes to owning a-
They're not wealthy.
They're not rich.
They're rich to us, but they're not really rich.
Wealthy people laugh at their fortunes.
They're rich to us, but they're not really rich.
Wealthy people laugh at their fortunes.
But there is a company that has the first right of refusal if the Lakers ever choose to sell.
That company is going to need a face for the team.
So you will have a minority ownership, but you will be a owner, similar to like Jay-Z.
Similar to Jay-Z.
Probably owning a much bigger percent of the team than Jay-Z.
Jay-Z owned like 0.5%. Similar to when Jordan first bought it with the Wizards.
Right.
Yeah.
So, apparently, some people believe that this Palenka meddling with magic is actually Kobe's doing.
And Palenka getting magic out of
there opens the door for co-finger in this whole thing
Kobe finger Kobe Kobe finger in it bro we finger is better than Kobe anyway so
that's that's that's a theory we'll see how that actually plays out so that's a theory. We'll see how that actually
plays out, but that's a theory.
Magic alluded to that, though, when he was
on ESPN. Did he? Yeah, like he was
talking about
possible people who would be
open for purchasing the team. And he
mentioned Kobe. He mentioned himself.
Like, he alluded to that.
I just think they don't want to do it together. At least Kobe
doesn't. Kobe's like, I don't need a partner in this.
No, they're the two alphas.
They're the two alphas.
And Magic, yeah.
Anyway, we'll see what happens.
Who knows?
Who knows exactly what happens.
I was actually about to break out a little bit.
Well, I think this is actually a good time to – how long are we at right now?
No.
Because I think this is actually a good time that we break into the Jeremy Piven conversation.
We spoke about, obviously, the finals.
Yeah.
Before we bust into that, I just want to say that this weekend I'll be in –
In Monroe?
No, no.
We got all – this weekend some shows, some Mad Door shows.
Real quick, let me just say San Francisco, man, and Ann Arbor, Michigan, unbelievable, man.
What?
I mean, so cool. Thank you guys so much for coming out it was just crazy and the reason why it's so crazy is because Ann Arbor Michigan
is like the Austin of Michigan right it's like the super liberal college town of a conservative spot and i love it when comics come to my shows to watch
and even when the comics are on the shows they're like yo your crowd is amazing i'm like what
exactly you mean i know what they mean like no but like they're down for jokes they're like not
sensitive they're not like oohing and then and they're all like i mean this is like ann arbor
you know you can't joke about anything over here you guys are going crazy and the same thing with san francisco
san francisco super sensitive super sensitive super super super progressive and the comics
were like yo your crowd is amazing you can tell dark jokes this out the other and it's like we've
curated this shit for years we basically for years told people get on board or get the fuck out this is
what we're gonna do and i promise you that we have the best crowds in comedy right now the most
diverse crowds the best crowds and the ones that are willing to let you know us go the furthest
with the jokes and um it's just an amazing thing to happen amazing thing for other
people to see as well like when you get to see these comics react like even that kid the chernobyl
extra son there's this kid yeah he looked like an extra from chernobyl on the show and even him
afterwards dude he was coming up and he was just like dude it was just great blah blah blah um
so just yeah it's just i don't know i'm just
really proud of what we uh what we've been able to put together and and i gotta i gotta say thank
you so much man because i've realized this what happens at all these shows there's always people
who go hey man i'm a huge fan and i brought these five people and they had no clue who you were
you know but they had a great time you were, you know, but they
had a great time, whatever.
And that's how it spreads.
I realized that's how I've gone from a venue that seats 200 to a venue that seats 400,
right?
It's just by people bringing their friends.
And I'm so grateful.
And I know there's people right now listening to this like, yo, I'm bringing some friends
to the show this weekend.
Thank you.
You guys are the influencers.
You guys are the difference makers.
You guys are what take, you know the difference makers You guys will take You know
A comedian
Or a musician
Or anybody
In entertainment
From one level
To the next
It's that simple
It's like
Everything you put
In your group texts
And your
You know
Group chats
All that kind of stuff
So thank you man
And the discord
The discord too
Is live
Yeah
Thank y'all man
The discord was in the building man
You guys been fucking murdering it
So
Anyway I just was so appreciative man
Y'all sold out the merch the first fucking day
We almost sold out all the merch
The fashion video is hot
I really want to be in one of those videos
We gonna do it
I want to have it with everybody man
And y'all can recreate them
Go for that shit man
The fashion challenge go for it
But dude it was so crazy There was a feeding frenzy and and you know the fashion challenge go for it but uh but dude it
was so crazy like there was a feeding frenzy for the merch because the fashion videos everybody
knows about the merch so and we sold out some we brought merch for annabar and chicago and
san francisco we were almost sold out after ann arbor we had a few things left for the first day
of san francisco we were sold out at the end of first day wow dude it was unbelievable massive massive it's unbelievable so shit has been crazy anyway this
weekend come check us out indianapolis uh helium then next weekend we're gonna be at uh where we
at next weekend liberty township i think cincinnati and then the weekend after that denver and then
that sunday uh we'll be in Houston.
And then the Andrew Schultz for any more tickets, dates, et cetera.
We're adding some new cities, some very cool, exciting things to share with you.
But go get those tickets right now.
And don't forget about the New York, Chicago, Toronto, and Boston shows that are all up there available as well.
Those are some big-ass theaters.
Let's go sell them out.
Got some things to plug.
Yeah, this weekend, Atlanta, Georgia, Masquerade. We're all up there available as well. Those are some big-ass theaters. Let's go sell them out. Got some things to plug.
Yeah, this weekend, Atlanta, Georgia, Masquerade.
We got Waka Flocka Flame headlining at Duce Palooza in Atlanta.
There's a little bit of tickets left, so make sure you go to ducepalooza.com slash tickets to get those.
The week after that, we'll be in Los Angeles June 22nd at the Belasco Theater.
Get your tickets at ducepalooza.com.
And Essence Fest, we will be in New Orleans July 5th
at the House of Blues.
You know, we got a lot of special guests for that one coming out.
And it's a special start time, too.
It starts at 11.59 p.m.
It starts at midnight.
So as soon as Essence Fest Day 1 is over,
hop over to House of Blues.
We're going to be doing that until 5 a.m.
So get a lot of sleep or just
don't sleep at all. And this
Thursday, I'll be making my debut
on SNY's The Thread
at 5 p.m. I'll be
a panelist on there.
I'm getting my sports talk on over there
for about a half hour. So if you got SNY
in the New York area on Verizon
or Comcast or Spectrum,
whatever, tune in there.
It should be a good show.
And, yeah, all that good shit.
I'm good.
Yo, so check it.
Real quick, just because we're doing this on the anniversary of the flu game.
I remember we were having a conversation.
I don't know if it was on the Patreon or if it was on this.
And I was talking about how maybe Steph was poisoned.
Yeah.
So apparently what Grover said.
Tim Grover.
Yeah, Tim Grover said that.
You're right.
I forgot this.
Yeah, so Tim Grover said the rumor was that Mike was out drinking late,
and then he was really hungover, and that was a flu game.
But what Tim Grover, who was Michael Jordan's trainer,
said was that Mike ordered a pizza at like 2 a.m.
Yeah.
To his hotel room.
And they thought it was weird that five guys
delivered it not five guys like yeah like the burger but like five different human beings
delivered the pizza and then within like the next couple hours he was like throwing up all over the
place couldn't sleep he broke his dick on the pizza suddenly poison that motherfucker that
mormon's poison mike bro and then he dropped 38 legend Tell him. Legend. Fucking legend, bro.
Anyway.
I got to break out.
Anyway, yeah.
So listen, guys.
Without further ado, we have Jeremy Piven.
We chop it up.
It's a very interesting conversation, touching on all forms of his life, career, what we've
all got going on, get into comedy.
He's pursuing stand-up right now.
And I really hope you like it, man.
Let us know how you feel.
Thank you all so much for supporting this.
And then we'll see you over at the Patreon, man.
I love you all.
We're appreciative.
Keep it tight.
Peace.
We got a very special guest.
Very special guest.
We had a lot of special guests recently, man.
It just keeps on getting better.
We're on a ride right now.
I think we really are.
This guest, I'm going to give you a good intro because i think that you happen to accomplish something in television
that is very rare i can only think of one other time that's been done where a a side character
becomes the main character and the only other time i can remember it being done was duane wayne
in a different world. Fucking great reference.
That's a very strong reference.
And that only happened because Lisa Bonet got
pregnant. But I also think it happened
because it was straight, he bodied
that role. So we started watching for
Yeah, the first season was
I'm like, Different World Stan, low-key.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The first season
was not good. It was like all integrated.
Well, let me introduce
you bro let me introduce you right now we're we got jeremy pivot in the building now some of you
know him as ari gold from entourage and it was that ari character which i think initially starts
as this side character and then you found the series kind of wrap around you yeah yeah but that
that to me is a metaphor for for all of our journeys
in the way that you know it's interesting when i started that role i was 37 years old right i won
the fresh face of the year award there was nothing fresh about my face literally i i was 40 movies
into the game um i was starring in in shows and producing and blah, blah, blah. And just let this be a lesson to you in the way that this thing came along and it was one scene in the pilot.
You know what I mean?
And it was like, look, even my representative said, why would you do this?
We have opportunities to produce shows and do the lead and blah, blah, blah.
And you have to put your ego aside and all the preconceived notions of where you think you should be.
Do you have any idea who I think I am?
No, it doesn't matter.
What's the best show?
What's the best opportunity?
Where are you going to do your best work?
Where will it be seen in the best light?
And HBO had Sopranos and Sex and the City and all these great shows.
And I knew that Wahlberg's life would be fascinating.
I knew there was a real drama-y turtle. There's entourage there and there's a real ari and so i
knew ari manuel yeah um who i mean you guys deal with sports as well he's big in the sports world
um and he's crushing the game and and i knew that if we did it right um that we would capture
people's attention because people all want to know
about the back, that's why this show does well.
Of course.
People want to know about the backstage life of sports, entertainment, everything.
So how pissed was Adrian Grenier or the guy, what's the guy's name who plays, I don't even
know his name.
Good guy.
What's his name?
What's the guy's name who played? Damon's,'t even know his name. Good guy. What's his name? What's the guy's name who plays...
Damon's...
Damon's...
Wait, hold on.
Somebody's brother.
Jerry Ferrara.
No, not Jerry.
Matt Damon's brother.
Kevin Dillon?
No, E, the redhead.
Oh.
Kevin Connolly.
Kevin Connolly.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, you know, I thought he was one of the hobbits for so long.
I kept on mixing him up with the other Game of Thrones.
Oh, fam, I thought that was...
But that's Rudy.
That is Rudy.
He's not Rudy, is he?
I know they're not Rudy
None of us are very tall
Let's just
Let's get that out of the way
Right now
I'm trying to breed up
Right now
I'm looking for a woman
With height
Let's go
You know what I'm saying
A better hairline
A vertical
Something
Anything
Let's go
No listen
They have to be tight
No no
You have one scene
In the pilot
And by the
Let's say second
Third season
You're the main storyline
Look You know It isn't my concern I'll tell you what And by the Let's say second, third season You're the main storyline Look
You know
It isn't my concern
I'll tell you what doesn't concern me
Yeah
Other people's salary
Yeah
Other people's expectations
Disappointments
Right
You're going full Kawhi Leonard on us right now
Hold on
No, no, seriously
Seriously because
Because you know what
If I
I don't want to know what anyone else makes
It's not my business, man
You know what I mean?
It really isn't
I'm not just saying
I'm just going to keep it real right now
I have to
No other way
This isn't me trying to be seen in any way
This is just who I am
So I have no idea what their perception of me was
I have no idea what anyone made
No resentment?
There's no jealousy?
You know what, man?
That's, listen, if anyone was to be jealous, you know, it's like, where does that come from?
You know, that's the manifestation of insecurity.
We're going to go really deep right now.
We're artists, man.
We're insecure, bro.
We're insecure.
We're 100%.
We're not everybody.
We're begging for validation because we feel so good about ourselves. Listen, I like that. We're insecure. 100%. We're not everybody for validation
because we feel so good
about ourselves.
Listen, I like that
I'm going to fix my life
answer you're giving us
right now,
but I need to know
were they jealous or not.
They were jealous, bro.
I still call him the hobbit.
That's how you know
they're jealous, bro.
Listen, let me just tell you
how crazy the world works.
All right, go.
Right now,
Kevin Connolly,
who you refer to,
is an incredibly
prolific director
who we would all
like to hire us.
So what I'm saying is,
you know,
before you throw
those stones,
my man,
and I've seen your stand-up
and you're a killer.
That's why I'm here.
Appreciate it.
Because I've watched
your stuff
and you're inspiring
and you're doing your thing
and one of the,
watch this transition,
one of the great things
about stand-up
is that you get to write your own story.
Media trained.
Is it the first rodeo?
This moves to the days of underage.
Go!
Go!
No, look it.
You're in an arena where you don't, it's like you look at Ricky Gervais,
and he basically says these things like, look, man, I don't, it's like you look at Ricky Gervais and he basically
says these things like, look, man, I don't care if these people hate me.
Fuck you, money.
I write my own stuff.
Fuck you, money.
You know what I mean?
So you do your own thing.
You don't need to be okayed by a producer or a studio or anyone.
As you said to me off camera, you know, it's supply and demand.
You're good.
You bring the people in.
You eat.
And that's what I love about this game.
It's like it's so real.
There's more.
Dude, admit, when you leave the acting world where you're auditioning and you go into the stand-up world where you have, for the first time, a little bit of control in what happens that weekend, isn't it a little bit intoxicating yeah it it
completely is it's it's a lot of things it's intoxicating it's addictive it's it's terrifying
um why terrifying it's terrifying because i i mean you have to understand i i haven't been doing it
very long but my learning curve is strong because I've been on the stage since I was
eight years old as an actor.
So I've got 40 years on the stage.
So I'm very comfortable and it's my home.
Now, you know, how do I dig deep every day, sit with guys like you, um, and just, you
know, I'm in, I'm in graduate school, learn, put my ego aside, talk to everyone that's
featuring, hosting, whatever.
I'm shooting a documentary about it. Good. You know, good you know so i'm learning at the speed of light and people so it says a lot about
you that the first question that any of you didn't have is how long you've been doing stand-up yeah
and there's something about stand-ups and i get it and you're so protective of your space
and i get it yeah because you've had to grind forever. Yeah, but the reality is if I told you the exact amount of time
I did stand-up it wouldn't match up to what you're gonna see because I have so much respect for the game
That was my next question
I mean like stand-up is a lot like like rap music like right
Somebody's as popular as you who has played such an iconic role on TV
Comes and sees Andrew go do stand-up,
a lot of times people aren't that inviting because, like, oh, here comes this guy.
Did you get any of that when you started
getting your stand-up jobs?
You're going to get hate, right?
Comics are insecure.
You know what?
You know what's interesting is that,
and again, I'm not just saying this,
I swear to you it motivates me.
There's nothing better than, you know,
one time I... Like you know I'm taking
his job I'm not gonna take his pages every time you open that script you're like oh he only got
four pages I got him let me make fun of this Chinese guy more do you know that I'll tell you
I'll tell you I'll blow your mind even further about Entourage really quickly.
Everything that I said was written so that, think about how improvisational it looked,
and I'm not celebrating myself, I guess I am.
But it's our job to make everything- Let me blow your mind for a second.
I'm amazing.
No, no, no.
What I mean by that was, what I mean by that was, it's just simply our job to make everything look improvisational.
Yeah, that's what it felt like, bro.
And that's what you do.
Yeah, yeah.
So in order to do that, if you don't own the lines, and if you don't own them to the point where you can then be totally present in the scene and not have to be reaching for a line or whatever, if you're totally present and you're really playing off the other person, you and you have all the specifics of all that stuff what you need want fear blah blah
and if you can be totally present then you're that's why everyone's like oh you were just
making that up it was a documentary it's like uh no that was that was written it wasn't a
documentary it was written and there's someone there literally looking at the script and if i
yeah man i'm jewish and it's like it was like my bar mitzvah
it's like you know
you know what I mean
every day was my bar mitzvah
you wanna go to heaven?
you better get these
bars right
I um
I wrapped my
haftorah portion
because I was
one of the only
white boys
growing up
so explain
for people who don't know
when you're
when you're
bro I don't know
what the fuck
you're talking about
so during your bar mitzvah
you got
you have to take part of the old testament i think everybody gets their own little piece yes of the
torah right the torah right and they call it the torah portion and and for those of those um the
gentiles out there the goyim the goyim there you go wow okay he's an annoyingly cultured person. I like that. You think he's just ignorant? No, no, no.
And then he'll say something, I'm like, how the fuck do you know that?
No, you can't.
I've been to a lot of bar mitzvahs.
Yeah, no, I'm not surprised by any of this.
Yeah.
So it's a rite of passage for young men and women bought in bar mitzvahs.
And I got up there, and I was a terrible student, because people don't realize that it's it's a
very difficult language you're 12 years old you're a child and you're learning hebrew yeah right i
wanted to be the first jewish linebacker you know but there aren't any five foot nine linebackers
anywhere anywhere literally so i was very much you know a delusional kid and my rabbi said to
me you're terrible you're not going to make it and i was like what does that mean you know and
so he's like look i heard that you can freestyle and you
can rap and I was like what he said because you have to understand when you
do your half Torah portion it is the weirdest cadence it just it's so strange
you've never heard anything like it it's the hardest thing you could even wrap
your mind around you know so So I had to wrap mine.
So I was like,
Rubber tie never,
rubber tie never,
yeah,
he shit about a nightmare.
Man,
tie me out of love till the sweat runs off my balls.
Oh,
skeet,
skeet,
skeet,
skeet.
My neck,
my back,
my pussy,
yeah,
no.
There was no pussy.
There was no.
You see,
that's another thing I heard about you.
I heard you.
My neck,
my back, everything's covered from the head down...
What is the...
Ah, fuck, man.
That's so exciting.
That's a comic in you.
That's a comic in you.
I love it.
I gotta go for it.
I love it.
I gotta go for it.
I gotta go for it.
Shoot a shoot, bro.
Shoot a shoot.
My neck, my back, cover your yarmulke and your back or something like that.
He's writing it down. He's writing it down.
He's writing it down.
I like where you're going with that for that tag.
Take the notes.
I came to take notes.
I always take notes.
Anyway, man.
Yeah.
No, go ahead.
Keep going.
So, yeah, we're just in this interesting time.
I'm glad to have you here because I thought, I don't want to harp on Entourage too much,
interesting time glad to have you here because i thought i don't want to harp on entourage too much but it was one of these things where uh i often think about characters that i see where
people fall in love with the character so much that they create an expectation of that character
for who you are yeah that's that was the one first mind fuck because like you're so
that character to me boom like so when you see him it's this so it's like i'm like all right
it's like andrew dice clay right yeah dice is not dice dice what is a jewish kid from brooklyn
right it turned into dice right because people kept treating him like this character he invented
right right even like ross from friends i don't know't know Ross but he's Ross right so it's like you became so synonymous with
this character do you feel like this expectation when you're on stage to be
and already well I or even also yeah I I address it right away I'd love love for
you to see my set because that's the last thing you want to do see another
guy said but I'm actually curious.
That would be awesome.
That would be awesome.
One of the first things I have to address that right away and talk about the misconceptions and then be self-deprecating and show different situations in which people, they just can't separate the two.
Which, by the way, is totally fine with me and funny.
But once I tell the audience how absurd it gets, it's really, it's kind of comical.
Because, you know, I had a dude come up to me in Jersey.
He's like, bro, by the way, bro, I'm a big fucking, I'm a big fucking fan.
I go, thank you, brother.
He goes, I'm a douchebag because of you.
Yo, that's nice. I grew up on entourage. That's my legacy, really? you, brother. He goes, I'm a douchebag because of you. Yo, that's my legacy, really?
Oh, absolutely.
That's the question.
I had a couple questions about that.
That character's so magnetic and big, but one question is, offstage, people not only expect Ari Gold, especially in that time, but they reward you for acting like that.
So if you give them what they want to,
I would assume if you can just like be a little mean,
be a little dickhead.
No, no, no.
Here's the most fascinating thing about what you just said.
Okay, okay.
They may want me to be Ari Gold,
but the reality is if I walk out of this door
and I'm a reactive asshole to people,
I will get that detention slip.
I will be in page six tomorrow.
So the duality is that's fascinating is
they think they want me to do it,
but they don't actually want me to do it.
And if I do it, believe me, I'm the bad guy.
Did you have to learn that the hard way?
You can't be a hot...
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Wait, what happened?
What happened?
Oh, my God. How much time Oh, absolutely. Wait, what happened? What happened? Oh, my God.
How much time do you have?
Well, I mean, look.
That's the only way I get paid.
It's on here.
I mean, look.
I'll just give you one example that'll kind of illustrate my point.
And by the way, I'm just a stage actor from Chicago. So, you know, by the time Entourage hit,
I was a grown man who had been, you know,
working as, you know, a journeyman actor
that had been working steadily my whole life, right?
So then this thing hits,
and I never expected,
because, you know, I just didn't,
I didn't think it through.
I didn't think, okay, you're going to be in people's living rooms,
and it could be for multiple years.
My mom saw it coming, but I didn't.
They may tie you to this character,
and then they may vilify you based on the authenticity of the character.
It's interesting because he's such a departure from who you played before.
I was actually a fan.
Whenever I saw you in a movie or something, I'd be like, yo, I love this guy.
Yeah, same.
Thank you.
But keep going.
Yeah, what's funny is I never played a character with any power until then.
I was playing Nick Cage's best friend, Cusack's best friend, schlumpy plus ones.
That was when white guys could play those roles.
Now we're off camera waiting in the car.
You guys need anything?
I can make some sandwiches.
We had a good run, bro.
I'm a closeted gay.
Every character I audition for is closeted gay.
There you go.
If I'm not straight gay, like completely out of the closet, it has to be closeted gay.
Okay.
But anyway, go back to what you were saying.
So you have this experience.
So I'm smash cut to like, I'm with my mom and we're at a restaurant and we're hanging
out and we're leaving and there was a bunch of paparazzi outside.
My mom was very confused by it and it was overwhelming and whatnot.
So we had a great time.
And it's always good.
To this day, I talk about this on stage
that I run lines with my mom.
And just imagine everything I said is already going
into my mom's face, which is insane.
So I do a whole bit about that.
But so we had a great time.
And then in the paper, it said that I was yelling
at my mother so badly that people had to get up and leave
and I'd been banned for life from the restaurant.
And my mom called me up and goes,
what did I miss?
And I'm like, mom, you didn't miss anything.
You were with me the whole night.
And my mom is from another generation.
She's from a time when, you know,
there had to be a kernel of truth
in order for them to publish it in the paper.
We're talking about a woman that's, know you know you know seen it all sure and so she she had no reference for this
type of insanity where they can just literally go yeah and so i call i i my buddy was you know
runs the restaurant and he he wasn't there that night he rang up the staff and they're like and
it said i've been banned for life and he called up the staff And they're like And it said I've been banned for life
And he called up the staff
And the staff was like
Oh no no no we love Jeremy
He's great
He was here with his mom last night
And so he called up the paper
And said no
I run the restaurant
This never happened
That's my guy
He's not banned for life
Blah blah blah
And they said we have reliable sources
He goes I run the restaurant
So my point is
The lie's already made it away
Around the world Before the truth even puts its pants on That's what Charlamagne says all the time Always said yeah reliable sources he goes i run the restaurant so my point is already made made it away around the
world before the truth even puts his pants on that's what charlamagne always said yeah the
the lie no one believes the truth of the lies more interesting yeah that's heavy that's heavy
but martin luther king said no lie can last forever so take that motherfucker
there we go and i've been, you trumped my black eye.
I was like,
I thought I had it.
MLK, bitch.
No, so that was a trip to just go,
oh, wait a minute, okay.
The game is rigged.
Okay, this is interesting.
And, you know, so it's been interesting. Does Hollywood make a decision?
Like, I hate this, like, Illuminati version of Hollywood or politics that we put out there.
But, like, sometimes it seems, like, I'm one of these guys where, like, sometimes my reputation precedes me, right?
And my reputation hasn't been the best, right?
And it's always poor amongst people who I've never met.
Right?
So anytime I hear bad things about somebody that I haven't met, I give them the benefit of the doubt.
Right?
Because I know what it's like to be that guy, per se.
But do you think that there are people in Hollywood or these different industries that make a decision about you and then kind of coalesce behind that absolutely like a revisionist history
if you will oh for sure for sure um and you know but that's been going on forever and i and i get
that um and yeah whenever i sit down with someone the and meet them the the response is always oh
okay that that's not what i expected yeah i'm never what they thought. You're not that bad.
Yeah.
No, not at all.
I'm just literally a journeyman actor from Chicago that's been doing my thing.
And I like to work hard.
And sometimes that can stir things up in people.
And man, am I not perfect.
And I've had some bad moments.
But yeah, it's a trip but it's
it's your job to not focus on how you're perceived you know what i mean and it's easier said than
done especially when it's being done you know on a on on a massive scale do you know what i mean
it's not easy but if you can think of it like, okay, well, what a great gift because I need to realize that that's not real.
I know what's real.
I have to hold on to the truth.
And instead of being a slave to your fears and your thoughts.
Trying to put out the fires and all that bullshit.
Yeah.
And trying to be loved by people you don't know.
Just try to be the best person you possibly can.
Yeah, Kaz brought up a great point about LeBron James, right?
We were talking about LeBron James.
He has this media platform, right?
And he's the first athlete that we've seen take their narrative
or take control of their own narrative, right?
So easily back in the day, especially in Hollywood,
it's like, okay, we don't like this guy anymore.
We're writing this guy off,
or this girl, we're writing this guy off.
And then you can't do anything
because there was no Instagram,
there was no Twitter,
you didn't have your own outlet.
And now with social media,
and the extreme version is,
well, LeBron has done it with-
Uninterrupted.
Jeff Bezos has done it with the Washington Post.
You can literally put out your own story.
It is called your Instagram story.
So anything that comes out, anything that comes out about you, you can combat in real time if you need to and right that ship.
And I think the most powerful thing about being a comic is that if you can do something with humor, you win.
There's no tool more powerful.
So say whatever you want about me.
If I can make that thing funny, it doesn't matter how scandalous it is you lose right and i mean you can journalists and us both use
words for a living we're both trained with words but our words are trained to be funny and that's
sort of just sharper medicine in the in in in the candy yeah track more bees with honey man
yeah honey and humor is the honey right there and you can can see LeBron, like even LeBron not being in the playoffs this year.
Like he's really upticked the content that he's putting out.
Fun family stuff.
Taco Tuesday.
There's that video going on.
Taco Tuesday.
The fucking,
the shop and shit.
The shop.
All the shows.
Everything is a hundred percent planned.
It's like,
okay.
People give him shit about it,
but I'm like,
yo,
like if I had that fucking power,
hell yeah,
I want the control my narrative.
Hell yeah.
I want to put out shit that I want people to see,
especially I'm that big and powerful as an athlete.
Like, why wouldn't you?
So that's the shit that we got to do now because there's going to be situations where, you know, a version of our path might be a little bit more blurry or misrepresented.
You know what I'm saying?
I do know what you're saying.
represented you know i'm saying i i do i do know what you're saying and uh yeah i i would like nothing more than to be understood you know what i mean that that would be fantastic that's the
beauty of what you're doing now like stand-up is literally telling your own story it's not
somebody else writing the words entourage everybody wrote every word you said testament to you for
making it seem like you just hate everybody.
Stand up.
Now you can explain yourself exactly like Andrew said with humor,
and then everybody walks away believing that.
Or with confusion.
Chappelle did it better than anybody else.
Chappelle created mystery.
I'm going to go to South Africa.
If you don't think Chappelle knew every single step of what he was doing,
this is a brilliant man.
Right?
He understands the value in mystery.
He created mystery.
He created exclusivity.
He created scarcity.
Right?
Instead of screaming to the mountaintops where he's going to be, he's like, I don't know where I'm going to be.
I'm just going to pop up randomly.
And then once he started putting out dates, people were like, wait, we have the opportunity to see him?
Oh, my God.
Right?
He's like off-whites. Exactly. He's like a hot sneaker right so he was hypebeast boom and then when he puts
out the special where he alludes to what happens with comedy central he doesn't say exactly he just
does a kind of metaphor for what it was that the pimp uh diaries all that excellent yeah this was
great and everybody is like hanging on you on every drop of his last word.
And immediately, Comedy Central becomes this big, bad boogeyman.
And he is the hero's journey, if you will, that has ended up being victorious because he made that $50 million back and some.
But here's a perfect example of a guy who took control of his own story.
It was very easy if he just bowed out for him to just be that crazy guy that went to Africa.
And yet, if he didn't come back
with his sword as sharp as it was,
if he didn't come back with truly no fear
and illuminating what's going on right now in our culture
where very few men, if any,
are willing to speak that truth,
then it doesn't matter that he's being secretive.
Because if he didn't come back with that game
that is just rarefied air,
you know what I mean?
Where he's talking about stuff that
it's very difficult for men to approach.
And he's like, look, here's the way it is.
Sorry, guys.
And that was the beauty of it.
When he first came back,
the first special wasn't that great.
And he talked about it in the second special. The first special wasn't that great and he talked about it in the second special
The first vessel wasn't that great and you know all the people seeing the jokes like oh my god
We can't believe he's talking about like bro. This is this is
Not not ages the the first the first Netflix special that came out as a to spend I thought she was amazing
There was one the one that came after that that and the and the I forgot the bird
The one that came after that, that and the, I forgot the one.
The bird.
The bird.
Bird revelation. A to spin.
Bird revelation.
Deep in the heart of Texas.
See, to me, the bird revelation is, that's.
That's brilliant.
It's fucking incredible.
You know, that's one for the ages.
You know, that you just put in a time capsule and go, okay.
That's his live and smoking.
Yeah.
I think he did that very intentionally because he talked about live and smoking.
I don't know where it was.
Give context to live and smoking. So live and smoking. So I don't know where it was Give context to Live and Smokin'
So Live and Smokin'
So I don't remember
Where I saw Chappelle
Talking about this
But he said his favorite
Comedy special
Was Richard Pryor
Live and Smokin'
It's from like 1970
Whatever
And he goes
Honestly he bombs
The entire special
But at the end of the special
They show his set list
From that special
And a lot of those bits
Go on to be
Classic Richard Pryor bits
And he said
That's my favorite special Of all time And I think bird revelation is his live and smoking yeah i mean
this is my this is my life and he had to earn it right it's like no not no new comic could go up
there and then get a laugh every minute or two yeah because they were just talking and building
a world i think that first special we were just happy to see him. Absolutely.
But he also has the equity and the confidence in the audience.
It's like what we always talk about stand-up is like if you can train an audience that every time they feel anxious, there's a positive reward at the end of it.
They enjoy the anxiety.
Right?
It's Pavlovian.
It's great.
Where are we going with this?
Exactly.
They know it's gonna pay off
exactly
so it's like
that same feeling
of when a comic is bombing
and you're an audience member
you're up there
like this feels so awful
if there's no reward
you hate it
but if there's a reward
that awful feeling kicks in
you're like
oh it's about to go down
you know what it is
when you know there's a reward
it's at the top of the roller coaster
the tick tick tick tick tick
you know the fun is coming
boom
so that
those butterflies that you feel inside,
you tend to enjoy them.
And when Chappelle's up there
and he's building up those butterflies,
you notice that there's a calm in the audience.
If you ever watch him live, right?
And you watch really good guys live,
not guys that rely only on momentum,
but guys that can create a calm within their crowd, right?
Like Tony Woods is like a master at this, right?
It's like, we're just hanging out.
Imagine you could make 3,000 people think
that you could just hang out.
Exactly.
And he basically took all that equity
that he built up over his whole career
and he put it into that one special
and actually spoke to us.
It was the fucking shit, man.
So are you that premeditated with your sets
in terms of um with your bits that you know let me just let me just kind of play this out a little
longer than drop it on them are you that premeditated so for me it always starts off
kind of like ranting right i'll have one idea and then i'll roll with this idea and i'm just
kind of throwing things at a board it's almost like abstract art in a way.
I'm just like yelling tags and a lot of momentum building.
I'm just yelling shit.
Everything that can go with it.
And then after I stretch that bit out and get everything I can, I start finding out where the real laughs are.
So like a bit that I'll stand up doing i'll like one night sit down
and when i'm sitting i can't really perform it so i'll find out where each funny line really is
and then i'll find out how i can build as much tension before that line to get the most juice
out of the orange right so a lot of guys are just walking over their punch lines i don't want i want
that alley-oop
thrown as high as possible
so when it's dunked,
the audience is like,
One thing I learned
from Andrew very early,
we came up together
and he's obviously
just so good so quickly.
I was,
the power he used,
the power in silence
I actually,
I picked up from Andrew
is like,
he was always good
even a year in
at being really quiet
and just letting it be okay.
Bill, yeah.
And that takes
a lot of confidence. I would freak out. This is like a newer thing for me finally being like, yo, it be okay. Built, yeah. And that takes a lot of confidence.
I would freak out.
This is like a newer thing for me, finally being like, yo, it's cool.
It's cool.
But that for me, there is that panic initially, and that's why I'm just going, going, going.
Yeah.
But it's once I find the bit, like, I don't feel panicked once I know that there's the
punchline here and how they're going to react to it.
So you're kind of writing jokes backwards.
Always.
It's like, you know where you're getting to,
and then you just kind of go back, okay, how can I get there?
Especially with a story.
Like once I have the end of the story,
that one-minute story becomes seven minutes.
Got it.
Right?
Because now we're just having fun.
Like there's a bit right now in the act that Alex has seen this from.
That's Alex, right?
Alex has seen this bit from it being maybe
30 seconds yeah to 10 now it's 10 it could be 10 minutes because i know the end so i know the out
there's no anxiety right we know where it ends we know the reaction now it's just how much fun
can we have in this world we set up you know i'm saying? Yeah, and that punchline that you know is strong enough to build to is something that will illuminate kind of a universal truth that they hadn't thought about that you know is going to crush them.
Or come out of absolutely nowhere that they couldn't have seen.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
Bait and switch or whatever.
Bait and switch, misdirect, but it can misdirect in a way
that it speaks to something
or misdirect in something
you set up in the beginning.
Sometimes you plant a seed real early.
They forget that it's planted.
Right?
And then you see that seed come to be water.
Chappelle's a master of that.
Right.
He talks about it in the special.
I'm so good at this,
I'm going to tell you the punchline.
Oh, yeah.
So I kicked her in the pussy
and then he goes all the way
in the back
and then he comes right back
at the end of the show
and he's like see
I told you
and he kills that
Jim he gave me
just cause he's just
the friendliest dude
we're not like friends
by any stretch
but I just met him once
and I remembered his
inside the actor studio
he said going to
theater school
acting school
helped him be a better comic
and I said how
and he goes
you just learn little things. Like, one time
a teacher was talking about us, and
he was just holding up a remote control, and he was
just like, everybody look at the remote control. And then he keeps
talking about us about everything. He just keeps moving the remote
control. And then he just keeps talking
and keep talking, and suddenly, ha! It was some
story like that. And then he was like, and that
was a big lesson for me. And I was like, yeah!
Then in my head, I was like, what the fuck are you talking
about?
And then I saw him. I was about to say, what the fuck are you talking about?
So I saw him go on stage at the comic strip that night.
It was four hours.
And at one point, he starts talking about all this shit.
Jack Johnson and how, like,
John McCain only ran on this platform
because something happened with Jack Johnson.
You know who Jack Johnson was?
He was a great white,
he used to, black heavyweight boxer,
used to knock out white dudes,
only loved white women
they threw him in jail on the man act
that's what they got Elliot Spitzer on and then
he gets all conspiracy theory shit
and he goes like I'm not even gonna tell y'all
what I think about 9-11 like you wanna know what I thought about
9-11 you don't know who I think did 9-11
and everybody's like yeah tell us he was like alright you're fine
Ashton Kutcher like the whole thing
is one big punk episode
and so all this
was just bullshit all this yeah all this was just
bullshit all this conspiracy theory stuff is just waving the remote well or the phone and then his
remote is actually his cigarette interesting yeah so like if you if you see how he uses the cigarette
on stage right it's like okay let me milk this moment if i just stare at you as an audience
you're gonna to get uncomfortable.
But if I look up and I take a deep drag of the cigarette and I blow it out and I tap it, right?
It's just how I build this.
What is he going to say?
What is he going to say?
What is he going to say?
So like everything with him is calculated, man.
It's like use of his voice.
Yeah, and yet.
Nobody talks like that.
I don't use the term. I don't care where you're from. Nobody. Hey, and yet... Nobody talks like that. I don't use his term.
I don't care where you're from.
Nobody, hey, that's not an accent.
Bitch.
But it is the most compelling sounding voice.
Right?
Like, we love the sound of that.
You know, what's really funny is
when I drink too much,
I fall into Chappelle's cadence.
That's how...
I told him that. He's like's like god damn it um but but isn't it isn't it isn't it funny that or interesting that as great as he is
to me uh the bird revelation which i asked him about it and he said i said how long did it take
you to come up with that he said he said like three months yeah but he was ready for that moment because there's no rust on him took him 20 years
to come up with that correct let's be honest well it it did but it took him 20 years to be ready for
that moment because everything that he was talking about was in in our consciousness in that moment
you know uh that was happening in real time right so that he was able to comment
on that it's tapping into the zeitgeist yeah in in such a in such a such a brilliant way that's
the different difference between comics that write and don't write right people go oh but you got
these old jokes it's not about your jokes being old it's just you're not addressing culture when
you write new jokes a lot of times it doesn't matter what they're about but you're not addressing culture. When you write new jokes, a lot of times it doesn't matter what they're about,
but you're speaking about things
in a way that needs to be spoken about, right?
So I can talk about fucking bananas or Michael Jackson.
It doesn't really matter,
but I'll speak about it in a way that the ecosystem needs.
Like for the last special that the ecosystem needed,
at least for me,
I thought they needed like political incorrectness.
Like everything was too safe. Everything was too PC. too network right so i was like oh man we need to
push back and talk about all these things that don't you can't create that if you're not writing
new right you have to be able to speak on it and you should man like you have a lot of stuff that
needs to be spoken on now whether you develop the skill set to speak on the really difficult
things is up to you and the amount of time you put in but you got a lot to talk about i do and
and what's crazy is that we're we're living in a time right now where um the variable for for the media is clicks. And it's not about the due diligence
and checking on the validity of a source.
It's like we got to be first.
And there's no honor amongst thieves.
They just want to get it out there.
Man, I learned this from Skip Bayless.
He was talking about what he talks on when he tweets stuff.
He doesn't even read comments. He just looks at the insights and see if it spikes. He's going with it. That's what he talks on when he tweets stuff. He doesn't even read comments.
He just looks at the insights and see if it spikes.
He's going with it.
That's what he's going with.
That's his entire career.
That's all of ESPN.
He doesn't care if he's right, wrong, whatever.
As long as it got more impressions, that's what he's going with.
And have you been fucked over by that?
100%.
Irreparable?
I don't know.
Remains to be seen. don't know remains to be seen
really
remains to be seen
now this is the
me too shit
correct
and
as DL said to me
you took one for the team
really
oh yeah
interesting
wow
yeah I'm
I'm a case of
collateral damage
it was
you got lumped in
with the bad guys
correct
and we're cleaning house we're getting all bad guys. Correct. And we're cleaning house.
We're getting all the.
Not only cleaning.
Well, yeah, we're cleaning house.
This guy is an easy target.
He is a very powerful agent, right?
This is.
Right?
Because think about this.
It's very easy.
Right, because think about this.
It's very easy if you've created this, you know, I've created this character.
Now, they had just taken down another powerful Hollywood guy.
What's another powerful Hollywood guy?
I am a journeyman actor, stage actor.
I grew up in extreme poverty.
My parents are theater actors. I grew up in extreme poverty. My parents are theater actors.
I grew up in a retirement home. I am a Jewish stage actor.
There is no white privilege.
There has never been any white privilege.
I did 40 movies before I did Entourage where I'm playing blah, blah, blah, his best friend.
We were getting scale plus 10, and I'm grinding, and I wouldn't change a thing, okay?
So I've earned every crumb I've ever, you know, in my entire life.
You know, I've auditioned for all those roles.
And then unbeknownst to me, you play a big major Hollywood guy,
you know, who is very abrasive.
And we all know those people.
They exist, and they're not so fun.
It's fun to watch, but we don't really want to be around them. Let's be honest. I mean, that's why you're not so fun. It's fun to watch,
but we don't really want to be around them.
Let's be honest.
I mean, that's why you put it on TV.
It's entertaining.
Correct.
You know what I'm saying?
So that's an easy target to take a shot at.
Who wouldn't believe the story?
Not only who wouldn't believe it,
but who wouldn't rally behind to take that guy down?
Of course, because you must be him.
Right.
Every time we see you, you're doing these abrasive, brash things. You couldn't rally behind to take that guy down. Because you must be him. Right. Right.
Every time we see you, you're doing these abrasive, brash things.
You're speaking about women in a certain way.
So why wouldn't you do that in your regular life?
Correct.
Actors are real.
Correct.
That's what I was saying earlier about you become this character, right?
It is so synonymous with who you are. So any behavior within that character becomes believable within your life
now do you regret any of it like with no that you you that that's a slippery side to that character
but do you think it was targeted do you think it was a specific target because i look at guys like
louie and shit like that and i'm like none of these girls offered information they were contacted
that means that there is a strike.
That means somebody said, you know who we're getting today?
We're getting Louie.
This is the story.
Figure out the evidence to support it.
Like some college essay.
Do you think that that same thing was with you where they were like, hey, this is the story.
How do we prove it?
Think about this for a second who benefits how from putting
that story out what is the variable how much as you just said your your buddy it's all about the
clicks right so the problem was it was a feeding frenzy. And the editors basically said, go out there.
Get me more.
Get me more.
Get me those Hollywood actors.
You know what I mean?
Let's round them up.
And so that.
But the problem is now is that the audience has, you know, they've worn out that.
They're not.
They're looking at it going, who, who,
who are you taking down next? There's a lot of eye rolls now when you see some shit.
It's like,
oh,
and so,
and so it's almost like,
you know,
when,
um,
it's on,
here's the biggest tragedy of what's happened is because of that.
And because of opportunists coming out of the woodwork,
the real victims are taking a step back.
And that, forget about me,
I'm just some random dude that got taken down.
I took one for the team.
Forget about me.
I'm just one dumb life.
Who cares, right?
It was only my whole life that I put towards acting.
Right?
It doesn't matter.
Right?
Just put me aside.
You know, just put, it's all good.
That shit hit me in my stomach. I was like, damn. It's all good.
That shit hit me in my stomach. I was like, damn.
Okay.
But what's more important than that
is that
it's a deep
misuse
of power.
It really is. And now what's happened is
if you notice, they'll try that stuff.
They tried it with Tony Robbins.
You know what I mean?
Oh, yeah.
It keeps happening.
What you don't hear about is that Jeffrey Rush, Academy Award winner Jeffrey Rush,
just took the Australian, the telegraph to court over his Me Too stuff and won.
And won.
And won.
And they paid him for all the money that he lost because of this.
But you don't see any of that.
No, no.
Of course you don't see it.
Wait.
Hold on a second.
Think about that.
The first actual, we're not talking about the court of public opinion.
Yeah.
We're talking about an actual court and none of us have heard about it.
And it just happened.
We don't want that stuff
because it messes with the golden goose doesn't do clicks what's the golden no no it's not a wild
the golden goose has been yeah it's it's been the scandal right the scandal is is the golden goose
the accusation every accusation is a golden egg right but it's lost its momentum now and people
they see it and they go i don't know if we can believe this stuff anymore man it's every day
you're taking down a new dude and and and you know do we and they're they're shutting off now
what's reality for me reality for me is every morning i have to check in and and and go deep and go inward and
and understand and own the truth and operate like that you can't be a slave to your thoughts and
your fears otherwise you'll be in deep trouble that's that's why people really go off the rails
and when i go on the road and i'm selling out these rooms and I'm standing up there with nothing to hide and I'm making them laugh from beginning to end and that's my job, that's real.
That's reality.
And the rest of it I can't control.
But I can connect with people on the road.
I can get better as a comic every day.
You know what I mean?
And not take a victim mentality, which is, man, they took me down.
But you were tight.
There had to be moments where you're like, are you fucking kidding me?
Well, when nothing makes sense, when absolutely nothing makes sense, it can do your head in.
It can really do your head in.
For sure.
No doubt. yeah it can really do your head in yeah for sure no doubt there is a there's a
I can't say names but a buddy of mine was dating a woman who was one of the
women who called out I forget who was wines or something like that right and
she what he said what she said to him was I'm upset that I'm not getting
offered to co-host the view I'm upset that I'm not getting offered to co-host The View. I'm upset that I'm not getting these same offers
that these other women are getting.
Meaning her purpose for coming out
was to get on The Fucking View and be a co-host.
And it was like, whoa, whoa.
There's always motives behind that type of shit.
What's much worse than that Is the woman
That was raped
Yeah
Is the woman that was raped
And is saying hold on man
This has become
Something else
And she's not coming forward
That's the tragedy
What the great things that have come
There have been some great things that have come out of this
Equal pay
Yeah
You know
In terms
You know
My sister is a director
She's
Women are getting more opportunities
Than ever before
As directors
There's been some amazing things
And I'll take one
For the team for that
You know what
I'll
You know
She can't put you in a movie
I'm saying
You're like
Bro
Sis what's up
Come on sis
Took a little sip Of that drink Like this Thank you No like I'm saying. You're like, bro? Sis, what's up? Come on, sis.
Took a little sip of that drink like this.
Thank you.
Got a little sip of it in my mouth.
No, no lie can last forever.
Just remember that.
Remember that.
That's why we got to control our shit.
What were you saying?
Two questions I had, and they might be the same thing.
One, you said you have to go inward every morning and say, I know the truth.
Yeah.
What is the truth to you?
The truth is I know who I am, and I know who I am in my soul.
And people can have a misconception about me,
but I can't control that narrative.
You know what I mean?
I can only control what I know to be the truth.
Yeah, and this is what I was going to ask.
My second question is you said you're just a guy who's misunderstood,
and you have an opportunity as a comic to be understood
cliff's notes for us what do you want understood about you i have a joke for you by the way i think
it depends if you want to depends if you want to use it but uh uh like if you're in a really
shitty town doing stand-up you can say that that one of the benefits of the Me Too movement is you get to see me here.
I would never be in Homestead, Pennsylvania if it wasn't for hashtag Me Too.
That's stupid, man.
That's a way of leaning into this thing.
See, yeah, you know what's interesting?
It's funny.
If I were to – one of the misconceptions about me is that I really enjoy going bad on people and making them feel terrible.
And I'm an equal opportunity offender.
You know, that's basically what Ari Gold was.
The character was, yeah.
Yeah.
He's the greatest. terrible things to people, very hurtful things, and to make him dimensional and truthful and accessible
and human and tragic and all of these things.
And that was my job.
And the result of putting everything that I had into this character.
And by the way, like you talked about Chappelle.
Yeah, I mean, you know, I've got 40 years on the stage as an actor.
So, you know, that wasn't an accident
i didn't get lucky it wasn't because the suit fit you know what i mean there were other variables
that were involved i went to nyu i went to the national theater of great britain and studied
shakespeare i was at um second city doing sketch comedy and improv and all these things and a lot
of people yeah i mean like even, like even Joe Rogan,
when,
when he introduced me one night,
he said,
yeah,
that's all we need is another actor trying to do standup.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
1000%.
You know,
and,
and,
and,
and the reason why Joe is so,
um,
so loved is because he is authentic and people gravitate towards that.
Yeah.
And he'll never stop being that way
and then afterwards he came up to me and he said he said oh you take this seriously and i do
yeah and believe me if i didn't you would have heard about it right you would have heard that's
that's why i feel like you must be doing well because nobody's talking about you period they're
not going to compliment you yeah okay they're not going to call it because they're not gonna compliment you Yeah Okay They're not gonna compliment you Because they're not Rooting for you
Well
Did you hear what DL said
The other day about me
When
I was doing his show
And I love DL
He's one of my favorite comics
Yeah
He hits on many different levels
And he
Now I'm saying
That he's saying
But no
I'm gonna cut that clip
That he hits on men
Not different levels
We're just gonna run with that
That's gonna be great Hashtag he too He too I'm going to cut that clip to he hits on men, not different levels. We're just going to run with that.
That's going to be great.
Hashtag he too.
We were both doing this charity gig.
By the way, you'll never get to see any coverage of any charity I ever do.
You'll never see a picture of me and my mom walking down the street.
That's a real charity though.
You don't do it for the photography.
So to be understood, yeah, I'm a fucking mama's boy.
Yeah, I grew up in in Chicago You have a great relationship
With my mom and my sister
Yeah I've grinded my whole life
Yeah I'm a decent human being
Yeah I have people's back
Yeah I'm loyal
Boring
Boring as shit
Who the fuck cares about that shit
Yeah yeah
Who'd you curse out
Right
Yeah yeah
Right
You know we need
We need a scandal
We need a story
We you know
But what was DL saying
So DL said that you know he said that
he saw me up on stage and he was actually jealous because he knew how long i've been doing stand-up
and i said to him there's no way you were jealous there's no way because that guy is
is a king man killer he crushes it and i'm still just trying to figure it out but the fact that
he said by the way dl doesn't have to say that yeah he would never ever say that yeah um so i do know that uh yeah believe me if i if i was up
there running the clock out doing a q a being a hack you would have heard clock out doing a q a
you know what i mean
you can name names i've seen i've seen some i've seen some shows you know what I'm saying
if you were a guy
I'd welcome anyone
we would know
if you were the guy
that asked to go second
we would have heard about it
we would know
we would know
and again
I haven't seen this
I asked to go second
I take
I take
you know
any killer
any killer
that wants
that's not headlining yet
and wants to open for me
I will only get better
there's a guy named Eric Myers
I don't know if you know him
but he's
man he
it just gets out there
and he just
throws bombs
for just
until they pull him off
that stage
right
and people are like
you're gonna let him
fucking feature
good
I'm like hell yeah
because it's my job
to then go
iron sharpens iron man
yeah I mean and they are exhausted by the time I hit the stage yeah and it's my job Iron sharpens iron man Yeah I mean
And they are exhausted
By the time I hit the stage
Yeah
And it's not a great idea
And he should be headlining
And he will be
Right
He's had an interesting
Journey himself
He'll be the first person
To tell you that
And
But yeah
I don't want some
Viciously mediocre
You know
Someone that's soft
So you can save the day
Yeah
So I can come in and look better.
That's not interesting to me.
I want to get better fast, and I'll do whatever it takes to do that.
And that's why you haven't heard a word.
Right.
But not hearing a word is the right thing is what I'm trying to say.
That's a good thing.
Yeah.
Because we would hear.
And people talk.
And there are people out there that sometimes struggle,
and especially newer guys, and then you hear the word on the street yeah you know especially if it's an actor
a successful actor because there is this resentment i think stand-ups have for actors i don't i don't
personally have it because i think any actor at least a comedic actor that doesn't do stand-up
is an idiot like i think they're a bona fide idiot because how else could anybody see you be funny
like you're basically just going hey
director i'm really funny well how do you have anything no but if you give me a shot
well why don't you do something where they can come see you every single week at least improv
bare just business sense i'm just talking about like baseline i'm investing in you and your humor
without knowing if you're funny at all that's an absurd notion notion to me. So like when I see actors do it,
we've had friends that, you know,
were initially really want to act
and then they started doing standup.
But I think comics are going to,
comics who aren't successful
are always going to have an excuse
for their lack of success.
You're not taking any stage time away from people.
It's the reality of the matter.
You sell tickets.
You either sell tickets,
you don't sell tickets.
The question is going to be is that next time you come into a market, do people come out again?
If they do, it's because you did a good job the first time.
There's been a lot of acts that go out there.
They sell a lot of tickets the first time.
Then they come back on the market, cancel their tickets.
Listen, I know that every time I perform, it's a home game.
I get that it's not an away game.
I get it.
And that they're there to see me. That's everybody with an audience, though. Yeah, 45 minutes, it's a home game i get that it's not an away game i get it and and that they're there to see me
that's everybody with an audience though yeah 45 minutes is it's just a game like it ain't no home
it ain't no way 45 minutes to hold my attention i'm gonna be funny i mean i should do this idea
that like people who don't have a fan base at all should be out there headlining is kind of absurd
it's they don't understand business yeah headlining is when you have fans and then you
build up to that right so there was a time where like people were just such fans of comedy that
they would just go out to the comedy show and just watch joe schmo perform right but in reality the
reason why you're listening to a stranger talk for an hour is because you're invested in that
business model comics by being shitty and headlining when they weren't ready real talk
when nobody knew who you were
and then everybody walked out
like I just wasted my fucking money
let's never do that again.
Every one of you guys
is doing a massive disservice
to comedy.
Now I want to see you.
You better not bomb.
I would be honored
for you to come out
and see me man.
Yeah this week.
Are you doing shows
this week in the city?
I wish
because I have to leave tomorrow
to go to Pennsylvania.
Maybe tonight we
could pop in yeah to a club he's got some pull go somewhere let's do it yeah for sure man let's do
it this will be fun yeah oh yeah i would i would i would i would love it man because i yeah what to
to you know piggyback what you guys were saying the reality is is no matter what stage you're on you have to
respect the space that you're occupying and if i'm up there doing stand-up and i'm wasting people's
time then you then then i don't deserve to be there but i know believe me uh i understand that
in the very beginning they're excited to see me And there's that first few moments of like, wow.
You get five minutes.
Not even five.
It's a lot shorter than that, man.
Believe me.
It's a lot shorter than that.
Because with my crowd, they, for the most part, haven't been to a stand-up show.
So they go silent fast.
Because they're just like, what is he going to say?
So it goes silent.
And if I don't hit him, and if I don't continue to hit him and build, it's game over.
They also don't know if you can do stand-up.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
So it's like, if you had proven yourself as a funny stand-up, then they're at ease.
Right.
They're waiting for you to make them feel comfortable.
They're like, buddy, I'm here.
I got the drinks.
I told my friend.
We watched the show.
I don't fucking know if you can do this. Right. Okay? Yeah. I know you're funny on the show, but that doesn't mean you're funny here. I got the drinks. I told my friend. We watched the show. I don't fucking know if you can do this.
Right.
Okay?
Yeah.
I know you're funny on the show, but that doesn't mean you're funny here.
Exactly.
Make me laugh quick.
And if you get that first laugh, they're like, oh, okay.
I can relax.
We're going to have fun.
Exactly.
You know what I mean?
So there's certain guys, like, people know me just from standup.
So I can go up there, probably not make them laugh for a little while, but they're like,
man, I've seen hours of his jokes online. He's funny. When he's ready to turn it on, he'll turn it on. Chappelle can walk up there probably not make him laugh for a little while, but they're like, man, I've seen hours of his jokes online.
He's funny.
When he's ready to turn it on, he'll turn it on.
Chappelle can walk up there and not make anybody laugh, right?
Because you know he's funny.
I've been to some of Chappelle's, like, you know, I don't know what you guys call it, where you're just, like, riffing and shit like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was, like, some secret show he did, like, at 1 a.m. in, I think, the knitting room.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he just talked for, like, two and a half hours.
I might have laughed, like, twice, but I'm just sitting here like, oh like oh shit i'm in the same room with dave chappelle you know what i mean
if you're not funny you have to be interesting right so yeah that's the thing you need to like
now i can't be up there for two hours now and not be like literally it was fucking hassan minaj
was like opening up he had a newspaper he was literally just reading headlines and he would
just joke back and forth.
And he did that for two and a half hours, and nobody left.
It was like two in the morning, three in the morning.
After a while, we're just sitting there just like, holy shit, we're in a room watching this.
Because you know that this guy's funny.
He's already proven.
So there is a world with you where like-
It's like you would go watch Michael Jordan shoot by himself in the gym.
For sure.
You know what I mean?
Exactly.
It's the same thing I was doing.
There's a world where you, where it's almost like if you put out a bit, right, one of your jokes.
It doesn't have to be a long one, but it has to be a good, strong bit.
There's almost something about that.
I wouldn't be surprised if you even see ticket sales like spike, right?
Because it's proven.
That's your Yelp review, right?
That's the picture of the food at the restaurant, right?
And they're going, okay, no, he's funny.
This is a funny joke.
Okay, we can go out.
Yeah, it might be a risk if we haven't seen any standup.
Who knows what's going to happen?
Because trust me, there's a lot of like these YouTube celebs and shit that go out and try to do standup and it's awful, right?
But you might put one of your bits out on YouTube and then they have something that they can digest beforehand just to prove to their friends.
they have something that they can digest beforehand just to prove to their friends i would not be shocked if you see ticket sales go up and the comfort initially with an audience increase
tenfold yeah it's like yeah we're fine we're in good hands right well i i actually for the first
time recently did that because um i've been you know pretty much under the radar not you're not
allowing anyone to film it or anything because I'm documenting this whole thing
and I want it to kind of be a surprise.
And so, yeah, I just recently started putting some stuff out.
And what's so fascinating about that game is
because it's a live form, it's so interesting
because you kind of lose a generation
when you see it being filmed, you know what I mean?
And you're not there live.
It's a trip oh yeah
comedy is not good it does not translate to tv well because you lose all tension right it's like
there's there isn't the anxiety that the audience has and that's why like the real good guys can
kind of penetrate i also think the way it's shot is very important and the sound is very important
i mean off off the pod we'll sit down and you know If you want to go over Like different ways
You can kind of
Recreate that
That live feel
Through video
We could do that
Interesting
But I really think
That it would be
A cool experiment with you
And I would track
Your ticket sales
Once you have a piece
Out there
Once you have something
That they can look for
Because the first thing
They're going to do
Is if you're in a market
They're going to go
Oh he does stand up
Let me see if I can
See it on YouTube
There's one clip Of you doing stand up On YouTube It's not even stand up It's like I only watch a little bit First thing they're going to do is if you're in a market, they're going to go, oh, he does stand-up? Let me see if I can see it on YouTube.
There's one clip of you doing stand-up on YouTube.
It's not even stand-up.
It's like I only watch a little bit of it, but it's like you at an award show or something like that.
Here's what it might be.
And they say it's stand-up, and it's not.
But it's not.
It's just you presenting or something or something like that, right? Yeah.
I've done a lot of hosting and presenting and blah, blah, all that kind of stuff.
But I'll never forget it at just for laughs right my agent at the time
2008 said they want you to go host and i was like oh well i don't do stand-up he goes no this is
going to be great he convinced me to do it i get out there with my boy brian callen who's a great
yeah i love brian it's a great stand-up and uh shout out to the fire and a kid there you go
and a great and brian shaw there you go and and brian's been a been a great stand-up. Shout out to the Fire and the Kid. There you go. Brian and Brian Shaw. There you go.
And Brian's been a great friend and mentor to me.
And 2008, we go out there together.
And it's the night before I'm supposed to host this thing.
And he goes, you know what?
Let's just see what they expect of you.
We go to the theater.
The theater is bigger than we ever imagined.
And the people are leaving.
And he says to them, hey, guys, what are your expectations for Jeremy?
They said, well, it's going to be presented live on TV.
Jeremy's going to get up and do a quick 20.
And he said, I'm sorry, a quick 20 stand-up?
And they said, yeah.
He goes, oh, no, Jeremy's never done stand-up.
And they go, oh, no, he'll be fine.
And he just went, imagine a white dude going even whiter.
He was fucking, it was crazy.
And he said, all right, Bubba, we're just going to go to dinner,
and we're going to talk this through.
And the great thing about me is ignorance is bliss.
So I really didn't know anything about stand-up then.
Now it would have freaked me out because I'd been through the game.
So he sat me down.
It was very brilliant.
He said, here's what you're going to do.
Tell me a story right now that you think is funny.
Tell him the story about taking my mom to the Golden Globes.
And he said, great, great, great.
Okay, here's the deal.
The through line of your 20 minutes, he spoke to me like an actor,
your through line is tell this story,
and we're going to create all these obstacles along the way.
You're not doing stand-up.
He put me at ease.
I'm up there on live TV with one night's notice.
Just for laughs.
20 minutes.
20 minutes.
And by the way, I had to do five-minute wraparounds between each comic.
Six comics.
That's 30 more minutes.
I did 50 minutes of stand-up on live TV, and I was dumb enough to do it.
They should have gotten anyone else.
But listen, I took every note that he gave me because I'm an actor, every single note he gave me, and we survived.
I don't ever want to see it.
Believe me, I don't want to see it.
But you didn't hear about it, so it wasn't terrible.
Believe me I don't want to see it But you know you didn't hear about it
So it wasn't terrible
But you know
And that's out there
So that's like the only thing out there
That's like some thing from 2008
That I literally found out about the night before
That's not fair
That's not giving a guy a chance
Fair take yeah
Now you put out a little something now
Let's talk about it after Let's find like a piece You out a little something now we're gonna talk let's
talk about after let's find like a piece i'll look at you know you can tell me something to stand up
even if it's a couple minutes but that's just what people will see that's what the club will push out
right to their email list yeah and it's like oh shit he really does this oh we gotta see this
yes boom and i would just track sales see if that makes a difference for you because it changed my
career right just having
something for them to go see i was like you know me from the podcast why aren't you coming out no
no they need the product proven yes okay so but your stuff does translate because i've seen it
i've even just seen random stuff that they filmed that like the comedy seller of your stuff right
yeah yeah like the the um jumping out of the airplane bit right right
right yeah how long did it take you to come up with that that was pretty quick sometimes with
stories like again these like even with my new hour now i've only been doing it for a few months
but it's like now it's refined stage it's like add and refine add and refine so it starts out
real fat and i start cutting all the fat off of it you know so
from that's my process it's like i don't know how long do you think it was before we were after the
last special to so i had like good 45 at least 45 they're fairly recent so probably six months
no no less four months yeah so yeah maybe like four till it's till like 45 but it was like but i don't know i
can kind of produce i can kind of produce a lot it's the refining stage to get it to the you know
place where i really think it can be special so you're saying you'll get after a bit it'll it'll
inspire you to get after it if you know where you're going to be landing the plane. If I have the ending or if I know where this goes.
So in that story, what was your initial ending of that story?
It's a great, fertile premise.
It's brilliant.
Yeah.
It was like that bit specifically was like I needed something vulnerable in the set because I attack a lot.
Okay.
So if you attack a lot, you also need to attack yourself and create the
vulnerability so they allow you to attack right now we're really breaking down stand-up so like
every every arc within the stand-up set is like if i'm going hard on a group or i'm going hard
on other people i'm being super judgmental i also need to go hard on myself and i also need to show
that i'm fucking i'm not just this guy who's pointing fingers.
I'm not like one of these people
making fun of actors' outfits on the red carpet.
I also make fun of myself.
So that joke represented maybe like a five-minute chunk
where it was just all vulnerability, all on me.
You can laugh at me
because I've been making fun of you guys.
So once we're in there,
I'm just tapping into the vulnerability of every part of that
situation.
So you knew by the end you were going to reveal that you needed him, you needed to be held.
If you don't mind me asking, what was the button in your mind when you knew, okay?
So the thing I'm using within the bit is the juxtaposition between masculinity and machismo and homosexuality.
Right.
Right?
And here I am trying to fight this thing.
So the flip is going to be me laying into it.
Right.
Right?
We know that.
It's like, I love bitches. And once you had that, you're like, I got to do it.
Now it's like, how gay can I make myself?
Right.
Right?
I know at the end I'm going to want him to hold me.
I'm going to want him inside me.
I'm just going to go as far as I possibly can with that.
But initially it's how vulnerable can I make myself
and how uncomfortable can I make myself?
We're strapped together.
The airplane is shaking,
so I'm essentially twerking on him or whatever these things.
How can I build up all these other things that are going to make this uncomfortable for a dude who's macho if i'm like
a effeminate woke guy then that's not funny but if i'm this dude who's like yeah i like girls blah
blah blah and this person's on me then we can create that that kind of humor so yeah we'll sit
down man we'll go over some some of the bits and like see if i'm sure it's similar to like uh when you take a comedic choice in acting right it's like this is funny because
i'm taking this seriously the hardest part about the reason why comics suck at acting
is because we're trying to be funny on stage and i think great comedic actors
are trying to be serious and them being serious in this awkward situation makes it funny right like
will ferrell's not trying to be funny his character believes he's a stepbrother where he believes
because will will is a great example of how to play comedy which is you play it a little more
serious than the serious stuff so he's playing playing a Greek tragedy in Step Brothers.
Yeah.
When their parents tell them they have to get jobs,
that's the craziest idea they've ever heard in their lives.
Yeah.
And they're going to lose their,
and that's why it's so funny.
Because he's playing it serious, right?
Yeah.
On stage, we're up there going,
hey, I'm funny, and I'm trying to be funny,
and here's me trying to be funny.
And then you see Chris Rock do that in a movie, you're like, I guess it's kind of funny
that you roasted him.
You know what I mean?
But it's not vulnerable.
There's no, like any acting that I've ever done that people thought was good, I just
dumbed myself down like crazy.
And I didn't know that what I was doing was funny.
The joke was on me without me even knowing it.
It's, you know, I got to be honest with you.
I'm a little offended by you just saying
dumb yourself that's my character right no no no but that's what i needed to do well it's semantics
but there's a different choice of words okay go go um it's not dumbing yourself down it's it's
first of all you know it you just simplified this is what what i find fascinating about comics and actors
yeah you you believe that comics should just immediately jump in into acting and be like bro
dumb yourself down and fucking kill the game no hold on hold on brother
i want to clarify no no. It's all good.
It's all good, but we're going to get to it now.
Yeah, yeah.
That would be like me saying, bro, I can just jump on that stage and fucking kill it.
All I have to do-
Is be smart.
Yeah, it's just tell my stories and hit my punchlines.
Yeah.
I get it, man.
I'll do this tomorrow, man.
I'm all good.
Don't worry about it.
But see, the thing about acting is it's like if you – it's logging the hours like stand-up.
100%.
It's going through that journey.
It's the rite of passages and all that different stuff.
And then it's like, well, whatever character you're playing doesn't have
the skill set that you have okay so that character doesn't have a skill set so if you're relating to
that person truthfully right and you're just committing fully and the material is good right
then it's game on if the material sucks then you got to bring in your skill your skill set right
believe me and and and as an actor, I've also,
because my background is in sketch comedy
and all that kind of stuff and Second City and whatnot,
so that the only reason I was working as much as I did
was because I could take these tiny roles
and explore and heighten them
and write on my feet and improvise and add stuff.
If you were to look at the first 40 movies
that i did you try to find those lines in the script no i was adding and and doing all that
stuff so that they could use you know like when i i don't know if you guys saw rush hour when i'm
playing the gay versace salesman that's a complete freestyle rant right because they needed comedy
right so how is that that's very similar to stand-up.
And that's why when people say, you can't do stand-up, it's like, well, wait a minute.
I might have a shot.
Let me clarify by dumbed down.
Okay.
Remove self-awareness.
That's what I meant.
So if I'm playing a character or like Will Ferrell's character is not being self-aware in that moment, right?
He is leaning into,
as you said,
the Greek tragedy,
right.
He's not going,
it's weird that I'm an adult that lives with my parents and I have a bunk bed.
Right.
A comic is always aware.
Whereas a comic is hyper self-awareness,
right?
I am awkward in this environment because,
and I will tell you why.
And this person is acting.
So they're,
they're like diametrically opposed.
And I feel like that's why in a lot of ways ways it's so hard for comics to be funny actors you know what they're good at drama
why because what is drama and a lot of times yeah hyper self-awareness of your emotions in that
moment right yeah so when i meant dumb i just meant the character that i'm playing is unaware of these
things that as a comic i would be uber aware of isn't it interesting that there are more
success stories of stand-ups who have gone and switched arenas and into acting but i you guys
would be hard-pressed to find any actors that have transitioned. You can't act funny.
You can act sad.
You can act angry.
You can act heartbroken.
You can act somber.
You cannot act funny.
You're either funny or you're not funny.
Okay.
You're funny before you were your role.
Like you, as Jeremy, was a funny person before you played Ari.
Wait a minute.
I'm not Ari?
That threw me the name of my tour, by the way, I'm not Ari? That's going to be the name of my tour, by the way.
I'm not Ari.
More than gold.
More than gold.
More than gold.
Coming to Homestead, Pennsylvania.
Fool's gold.
Fool's gold.
Fool's gold.
Oh, shit. Fool's gold.
How much do I owe you
For that sir
Hey man
I'm gonna be
Can I tell the kids
Where I'm gonna be
Please do
Please do
I'm gonna be
At the Improv
In Tampa Florida
On the 21st kids
Nice
Yeah man
And then I'm going
Then I'm
After Tampa
I'm going to Orlando
At the Improv
On the 23rd
So catch me there
Yo Improv
Ebor City
Is the one in Tampa
Great club Ebor is dope as fuck It's beautiful Where do they get tickets You go to know Improv Ebor City Is the one in Tampa Great club
Ebor is dope as fuck
It's beautiful
Where do they get tickets
You go to the improv site
Or your site
You can go to my site
JeremyPiven.com
You know
Or just go to the improv site
You know how it works
Before you leave
I know we did a lot of
Talk on comedy
But there is
There is a place
You know this is
We talk sports on this podcast
And there is
I would often see you
If there is a Manny Pacquiao fight, at Freddie Roach's wild card gym, watching Manny Train.
Right.
You're a boxing fan?
Yeah.
Fanatic?
Or you like it?
I'm pretty fanatic.
Okay.
So is this guy.
Huge boxing fan.
Love boxing.
Watching Manny Train, I've never got to see him, unfortunately, live Huge boxing fan. Yeah. Love boxing. Watching Manny Train.
I've never got to see him, unfortunately, live or up close.
Yeah.
Unreal environment.
This was back when every celeb in LA seemed to be at Freddy's gym.
Have you ever been to Wild Card?
Just outside.
There was actually a comedy night at the place next door.
Right.
Three clubs. Of course. Of course. I didn't know they comedy night at the place next door. Right. Three clubs.
Of course.
Of course.
Um, I didn't know they did comedy there.
They used to.
Used to.
Okay.
I didn't know Wild Card was right next to that.
Yeah.
Listen, Freddie is, is such a legend.
I mean, and he basically, I mean, that place is like, you know, a little, it's a, it's
a strip mall.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a little strip mall.
And he, and he put a, he, he just set up shop there And you build it they will come
And Manny walked in his door
And Freddie
They've been together ever since
And he's been an incredible mentor
But Manny you know
Until you see that speed
In person
You can't imagine
But also it's so interesting
Because he's such a happy,
joyous little guy.
Yeah.
He really is.
That's him.
He's a nice guy.
Really sweet guy.
And what people,
they see his frame
and he's so slight
and tiny.
Take a look at his calves.
Unbelievable.
Take a look at where
his power comes from.
I played basketball
with him one time.
What?
Yeah,
he came to Terminal 23
when it was still open.
Big hoops guy. Yeah. Not the best ball player What? Yeah, he came to Terminal 23 when it was still open. Big hoops guy.
Yeah.
Not the best ball player, but he's so explosive.
Yeah.
His form is terrible, but he would just fucking explode left to right and jumping and shit.
And he's so small, but the Cavs, absolutely.
Tons of explosiveness.
Unreal athleticism.
Yeah.
And the hand speed is just absurd up close or what?
Yeah.
It's crazy.
You know, I mean, his angles that he creates, you know, listen, there's no excuse, but when he fought Mayweather, his shoulders were jacked up.
Oh, really?
Oh, yeah.
That's a fact.
So there's rumors about that, that he needed shoulder surgery.
He needed shoulder surgery.
That's a fact.
So there's rumors about that, that he needed shoulder surgery.
He needed shoulder surgery.
And, you know, we can go really deep on this.
And he was working with a guy named Alex Ariza.
And Alex is great.
Alex is great with.
Uh-oh.
Ariza got a little, you know. He had a little heat on him.
Ariza got a little heat on him for steroids.
Right.
Well, you know, first of all, why am I wearing that belt buckle?
But anyway.
Anyway, I digress.
So Alex won't talk about scandals or any of that stuff. Talk about it.
But no, I don't know anything about it.
I just know that Alex is really great.
I started working with him because I watched him work with Manny Shoulders.
And he's really great at working shoulders. You know what I mean? And he was doing a great job with Manny Shoulders, and he's really great at working shoulders.
You know what I mean?
And he was doing a great job with Manny, and then they parted ways.
And, you know.
Didn't Floyd hire him for that fight?
Say that again?
I think Floyd hired him for that fight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Indeed.
A lot of stuff that, like, people didn't talk about.
There's some major stuff behind that.
What else?
Well, I mean, that's heavy.
That's really heavy.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Anyway, so Manny...
Yeah, but Floyd's dad trained Oscar De La Hoya when he fought Floyd.
Right, but there's a specific reason why Floyd hires Ariza away from Manny.
What's the reason?
I mean, the argument was that Ariza might have been giving Manny the that right reason I mean the argument was that you know a reason might
have been giving Manny the juice yeah okay I mean look all I know is that Manny's one of those guys
where um there we've we wanted to see that fight with Mayweather and there was a much better version
of Manny that would have been a more interesting fight. And now, after he had the shoulder surgery,
and now you're seeing him pull off these great fights,
which is what he was capable of.
And he's taking control of his life,
and he's cleaner and all this kind of stuff.
He's a 40-year-old dude, but he's a young 40.
He's an Asian 40.
That shit is 28.
They're young up until they're 80 and they have a long
fucking beard like Mortal Kombat
or something. They're just floating above temple
steps in the lotus position.
That's right, man.
Well, dude, man, I appreciate you so much
coming by. Thank you for having me.
I appreciate it. Yeah, I'll hit you up later and then
we'll talk more. Maybe we'll hit some clubs.
Let's get some stuff out, man. I love that. Thank you. Thank you, guys. I appreciate it. Yeah, I'll hit you up later and then we'll talk more. Maybe we'll hit some clubs, but let's get some stuff out, man.
Thank you, guys.
I appreciate it. Thank you so much, brother.