Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Tiger King is White Trash Game of Thrones
Episode Date: March 24, 2020This week Andrew, Akaash, and AlexxMedia are joined by the Tiger King himself!!!!....(Or maybe it was Mark). We discuss the docuseries, Tiger King, Coronavirus, Tom Brady, Belichick, Andrew playing s...cratch and sniff with his but, and much more. INDULGE!!!! Want to hear an extra episode a week? Become a PATRON! www.Patreon.com/Flagrant2
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Welcome to another episode of flagrant to I mean, I got our car sing in a building up. We got Alex media in the building here. strict exile, strict shelter in home, not playing any games out there with that.
And we're here at the studio.
No heat on in the studio.
My landlord thinks he's slick.
He literally, listen, this is my suspicion.
I don't know.
Did I talk to you about this already?
No, no.
So.
I knew you'd have suspicions.
Oh, immediately.
I am not a very glass half full with other people person.
Like with my own life isn't that interesting
like with like if you're like
Schultz do you think that you know you could play
in the NBA I'd be like nah that glass is looking pretty
full right about now I think I can figure it out
but with anyone else I'm like
nah they're trying to fuck me they're trying to screw me
or something like that right
I have a suspicion
Schultz is a big conspiracy theorist,
but all conspiracies fuck him.
Yeah, exactly.
Everything is against him.
I'm the World Trade Center.
I don't care who blew me up.
I got blown up.
Surprised you got me here then.
Keep your friends close.
Put your enemies close.
So, but yeah, so we came in.
It was the other day we came in.
The heat was off.
Was it two days ago, Al?
Yeah.
So, you know, we've been coming in every day, obviously, to do this.
So the heat was off, and it was when it was fucking freezing.
Yeah.
No, it was yesterday.
I biked to work yesterday.
I have this, like, motorcycle that I call, well, it's a motorized bike that I call a motorcycle.
And it was pouring rain. And I was like, the delivery guys can do it motorcycle. And, um, and it was pouring rain.
And I was like,
the delivery guys can do it.
I can fucking do it.
It was 37 degrees.
You've ever made in your life.
Yo,
I'm on the bridge.
I almost went,
just went right off the fence.
I literally almost drove right off the bridge.
It just swan dove.
The only thing that stopped you is that water is colder.
The only thing that stopped me is my girl said,
you shouldn't bike in this weather.
You're going to be freezing.
So, so, so, so, so, so.
So I'm on a bike pissed off that she's right.
My fucking converse is soaked straight through.
Socks are soaked.
There's no fenders on the wheels.
So the water is just coming up, hitting me in the face.
It's hitting all over the back.
But I had to make it through to spite her um and my whole saving grace when i get to studios
this is gonna be nice and toasty because we got the new york radiators baby oh yeah
it's too hot radiator yeah yeah right so i'm like i'm gonna lay all my clothes on a radiator
oh you know what i mean puerto rican dryer 100 100%. Right, Al? No, I know. There we go. So it's going to be good.
See?
And it's the best because you're shit warm in five minutes.
Why you got to hold dryer for, right?
So I'm like, I get, I open the door.
It's a little cold, Akash.
Right?
I'm like, that's weird.
You think they would turn on the heat already because.
I felt it when I walked in.
You felt it.
Because it's freezing on the first floor as soon as you walk in.
Keep going.
And you're on an elevator.
He rises, though, right?
You're like, he rises.
Maybe it's warmer in the building.
Maybe they just shut off the main hallway heat.
But each office got to have heat.
Of course.
And then I walked in.
I said to Al at least three times, because I'm a bitch.
I was like, is it kind of cold?
You're trying to act like you're not a bitch.
I'm like, yo, is it a little bit chilly here? What's going on? You're a bitch. I was like, is it kind of cold? Is it just me? You're trying to act like you're not a bitch. I'm like, yo, is it a little bit chilly here?
What's going on?
You're a bitch.
I got a scarf on.
Still.
While we're recording this.
Okay?
So I go, and it's a little bit fucking cold.
My feet are soaked.
Everything's soaked.
I've taken off all my clothes outside the door.
Right.
Right?
So I'm butt naked outside the door to our studio, and I figured no one's coming to work
today, so I'm okay.
I wasn't here yet.
I wasn't here. Nobody's here. It's just me. If I was here, we would cuddle, and it figure no one's coming to work today, so I'm okay. I wasn't here yet.
Al wasn't here.
Nobody's here.
It's just me.
If Al was here, we would cuddle and keep warm.
Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?
Like some real survival shit.
I got you, boo.
Al, let me in that sweatsuit.
So I go, okay, I'm going to put my stuff on the radiator.
Everything good.
Radiator completely off.
Butt naked.
Okay?
I go into the room where we have the merch.
Yeah.
I take a XXL
anti-social justice warrior hoodie.
Yeah.
Put it on.
Okay?
Looking like your girlfriend.
Son,
Mark said I look like Ariana Grande.
Mark comes in.
I'm on the couch
with only a sweatshirt on,
nothing on my pants.
I look like you, happy on a winter day when you're walking a baby dog.
And Mark walks in.
He goes, dude, why are you dressed like Ariana Grande?
I'm like, go back outside so I can put on my wet underwear.
Yo, you need fashion undies.
That's what this tells you, dog.
Oh, next season, we got to be straight because the heat is.
And I understand what they did, I think.
I think they're like, nobody's coming to work because it's shelter in place.
Let's save a few bucks.
If that's the case, we better save a few bucks on rent.
I'm such a fucking good guy, Akash, that I'm like, I call him.
He's got some sad-ass voice on.
He's all sad. How you on. He's all sad.
How you doing?
It's tough times.
And I'm just like,
talk about your landlord.
Yeah.
I don't give a fuck.
I know,
bro.
I'm trying to not give a fuck,
but it's like,
he's going through it.
You know,
there's businesses in the building that are probably going to fall apart.
You know?
Yeah.
Oh God.
That's how this works. Yo, I don't know. It's the this works you know i don't it's the reset
it's just mother earth going you know how many careers you already ended putting all your shit
on youtube you have a career you know the comedians went broke because of this guy
what do you mean really you you've shifted everything to online content you have any
old comedians dinosaur ass comedians that were fucking going city to city and just
toughing it out.
We're like,
well,
that's it.
It's over.
I mean,
I can still,
you gotta live in,
not before COVID,
but they were just like,
I can,
you gotta live in,
but I ain't gonna make it big,
man.
They know this YouTube shit is over.
Well,
I mean,
they can always do this.
Yo,
no,
they can't.
No, no, but. No, no.
But in all seriousness,
I wasn't like actively doing that to them.
I would be actively trying to take money
out of the landlord's pockets
if I was like,
yo, do this.
And then they made up some excuse.
They were like,
oh, you know,
there's a lot of smoke
that's coming from the thing,
blah, blah, blah.
It was like,
but there was no smoke last month
before the coronavirus.
Also, Trump gonna give,
Trump giving all the big businesses
like a relief.
How big, we gotta get to that.
I'm talking about this landlord.
Right, but when is this business
big enough to get there?
Never, never with a Republican office.
Gee, never.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's in effect right now.
I was gonna speak to you after the show.
You got a few grants coming your way, buddy.
Really?
They have a small business loan
or something like that?
We might have to like tweak the numbers. Let's talk after. Yeah, I was way, buddy. Really? Yeah. You have a small business loan or something like that? We might have to tweak the numbers.
Let's talk after.
Yeah.
I was doing a little research yesterday.
Really?
Hey.
You got an incorporation, too.
Hey.
We got a couple grants coming our way, brother.
Hey, talk pretty to me.
But yeah, we can't talk about it out here.
But yeah, we got a couple grants.
All right.
Well, shit.
Everybody, go look that up.
Yeah.
Yo, but you know what?
We got to stop giving out game a little bit because on the podcast we spoke about –
Oh, the tax thing?
No, not the tax thing.
Well, a couple things, right?
When we were doing the daily, the nightly show, right, we spoke about some little corona hacks.
We always drop the corona hacks.
And one of the corona hacks was that there are restaurants in the city that have never delivered in their history.
Yeah.
But now since you can't have people there, they have to find a way to make income, and food is a necessary item,
or an essential item.
Is that the term?
So they're allowing them to deliver.
So I was like, yo, Minetta Tavern,
you know that spot right next to the cellar.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like incredible.
And Carbone.
Carbone is this like amazing-
Amazing Italian spot.
Oh my God.
You can't get a reservation.
Can't get a reservation.
Yeah.
We said they're delivering.
Take advantage of it.
Today or yesterday, the Business Insider wrote an article showing a line of delivery boys,
delivery men, sorry, I can't say that, outside of Carbone specifically.
And they're like, people are flooding Carbone for deliveries.
Now, I'm not saying this is us.
It was probably going to happen organically.
But we definitely sped up the process. And a lot of our people are flooding Carbone for deliveries. Now, I'm not saying this is us. It was probably going to happen organically. But we definitely sped up the process.
And a lot of our fans are in New York.
Oh, 100%. And, yo, take advantage of that shit.
Spicy rigatoni.
Get that Caesar salad.
And you should be Gucci.
All right.
Shit.
Yeah.
Hey, maybe you get to go also, right?
I don't think that.
Yeah, I can't say no.
I can't say.
What if I just pretend I'm a delivery boy taking it to Jersey? Son, i can't call them delivery boys no more after biking in the rain bro son i was so i
couldn't understand why you're like sorry delivery man i was like do you have a case against you you
can't talk about boys i couldn't do it because i was biking in the rain and i saw these delivery
men i can't even say that word that's how we wear delivery people Yo, she also got an M word So I do
So I saw them biking this way
You know, they put the little plastic bags over their hands
So their hands don't get cold
And I'm looking at these motherfuckers like
Damn, I wish I had some plastic bags
Where I'm pounding out
That fucking fingernail is about to fall off
Plastic bag with the oven mitts
Exactly
Oven mitts, plastic bag over it
Don't worry about the brake
Good money, bro
You ain't breaking anybody on the road.
Dude, it is a nice ride.
I will say this.
It is a nice ride.
Dude, I...
Nobody's on the road.
I took the tunnel in or out of the city.
Holland?
Holland Tunnel, Lincoln Tunnel, either one.
It's not right there.
Pick me up on the way.
Yo, I got you.
I picked you up before.
You just got to let me know.
Let's go.
I think they usually have me take the Lincoln, but I can switch it up.
But I think... He just... Is that him pull out? He just finished it. Yo, it's such a nice think that they usually have me take the link in but i can switch it up but i think he just saw him pull out he just finished it i said i said i take both oh you passed me come get me
yeah but it's about halfway through you get bored of that shit i'm not gonna lie
it's nice fresh air in the beginning after that you're like yo what we listening to delivery man
yo we had a great ride over when i picked you up. You know what the best thing was?
And I don't mean this in like a hateful way.
It's just a testament to how long we've been friends.
We spoke about five words on a 30-minute drive to each other on the way here last week.
But there was a reason for that.
Was it?
We were writing bits.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We were writing roast stuff.
For Alex.
I didn't have that.
But still, it's also just like, it's just nice.
But we could easily do that.
Yeah.
100%.
Dude, that's male friendship. And I prefaced it. I think I prefaced it when I walked in. I was like, yo, just like It's just nice But we could easily do that Yeah 100% That's male friendship
And I prefaced it
I think I prefaced it
When I walked in
I was like
Yo just want you to know
I gotta write something
Whatever
You didn't give a fuck
I loved it
I mean I gotta listen
To his old white man radio
I gotta tell those
Old white man radio
The ticket is old white dude
You can keep it turned
On and off
AM station
This shit is so funny bro
What's wrong with an AM station
The feed's not as clear But it's warmer You have to click Every time station. This shit is so funny, bro. What's wrong with the station?
The feed's not as clear, but it's warmer.
You have to click every time.
It ain't even digital yet.
Bro, dude, I could not believe what he was
watching. Middle-aged white dudes, the ticket.
You love that shit. I love that station.
Those are my guys.
A younger guy I'm actually cool with now, but it's great. Just middle-aged white guys from the south. They were good. I love that station. Those are my guys. They got a younger guy I'm actually cool with now, but they're great.
Just middle-aged white guys from the South.
They were good.
I'm not going to lie.
I was listening a little bit, and it fueled the racism for my jokes against Alex.
Anytime that I didn't have something to go for for Alex, I heard one of them,
and I was like, well, a problem with these defensive backs.
I think you call them defensive blacks at one point in time,
then correct themselves.
They just want too much damn money.
Dancing in the end zone after interceptions.
We get it.
You got rhythm.
Guys, there's something that I really want us to all talk about,
but I think we're going to have to stop for one second
before I shit through my pants.
We've never recorded this early.
What?
I have to shit on like an insane level right now.
And I've been holding it in glad.
Okay.
I'll tell you a really quick story and then I'm going to go shit.
Okay.
Drag this on as long as you can, Al.
Yeah.
We need a lot of follow-up questions.
Okay.
So here's the thing.
So last night, right?
Going to bed with my shorty.
Damn near tore each other's heads off multiple times.
Yo, it's been an interesting thing to watch.
Yo, because my girl and I don't like quibble much, but when we fight, it's a banger.
So like this is a weird thing where we're both trying to avoid the fucking blow up.
And we're just kind of softly stepping around each other.
A lot of ice.
But then seeing you and your girl like quibble, it was just funny to watch.
A lot of quibbling.
A lot of quibbling.
We had a family dinner Sunday, by the way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it felt like a family.
So what's it called?
So we're in bed last night and we start watching The Outsider on HBO, which is dope.
Check that out if you guys need.
I told you.
Yeah, yeah.
I was telling you about it.
I really feel like I want to share things to distract people with like
yeah i feel like it's an important thing that we could do i think if there's no sports to distract
us we should have a show we talk about every day 100 and uh so the outsider go check it on hbo
really good and uh so far and um we're in bed we're like cuddled up and everything like that
and um my girl knows when i fart because my whole body tenses up it gets rigor mortis and then i fart right so she just she has that lockdown right
so she'd like i'll start to tense up and she'll just go okay and then i just let it rip so that's
fine that's easy right next next is this yeah mark's here so what happened was this i'm in bed
right and i start scratching my butthole right right i'm scratching my butthole, right? Right? I'm scratching my butthole. Now,
I do this thing that a lot of people at home don't know this, but I do do this. Akash actually
knows this. I scratch my butthole, right? After I scratch my butthole, I smell it, right? Now,
here's something interesting. I try to sneak in the smell with a breath right but here's the thing you can't sniff and breathe at
the same time sniff is yeah but breathing is just physically demonstrate how you so i scratch like
that and then i go and i how do you think that's sneaking it in that nobody notices my girl is
turned this way okay i'm big spoon she's a little spoon so i'm like this girl's so i went like this
right i scratch scratch scratch she doesn't say anything and then i go in a bump and i went like this i went i went right and she goes did
you just smell your asshole i don't know what to say i literally don't know what to say so this is This is my response. Ready? A little bit.
A little bit.
A little bit.
All my years of comedic wit.
12 or 10.
How long have I been doing this? A little bit.
Holy shit.
That's what I went with.
13 years.
A little bit.
As if she'd be like, oh, just a little bit?
All right, let's go to sleep.
Wrap that shit finger hand around me. Let's get this spoon
You ever been caught by your girl in a way that you just hang it out you just like I don't know how to
Can't remember anybody man, I know that feeling I want to hear other people this and then like you were doing some weird shit in
Your girl caught you and you just had to sit there and own it.
Yo, what is the weirdest shit your girl caught you doing that you had to own?
I can't remember, but I know it happened.
Yeah.
Were you cheating?
A little bit.
All right.
Let me go poop before I shit myself.
I wanted to keep asking you questions just to keep you here.
Go ahead, buddy.
All right, people.
We're going to take a break for a little quick second.
I'm talking to you at home right now. I'm talking to you at home right now. I'm talking to you you here. Go ahead, buddy. All right, people. We're going to take a break for a little quick second. I'm talking to you at home right now.
I'm talking to you at home right now.
I'm talking to you at home right now.
Baldness is a choice.
Balding is a choice right now.
If you notice your hair is thinning, you are making a choice to go bald.
You do not have to go bald.
You can keep your hair.
I thought that my hair was thinning,
I think over 10 years ago. And I started getting on a drug that got me to keep my hair and the company keeps will get you on that exact same drug pill. You get to keep your hair. I'm telling
you, there is one thing that dictates how well men age. And that is a full head of hair. You got
a full head of hair. People got a full head of hair?
People are like, oh my God, he looked great for his age.
If you got no hair, be like, damn, I'm fucking getting old.
Keep your fucking hair.
It is a choice now.
Go out there, keep it.
And the best way to do it is prevent it from leaving.
So if you notice it's thinning,
if you notice it's going away,
you get on it now, okay?
Keeps.com slash flagrant.
You can go there and go through all the steps and they'll make sure that they get you that.
You will keep your fucking hair.
I cannot stress this to you enough.
I get DMs all the time asking for the brand, ask for the company, ask for the promo code.
Keeps.com slash flagrant.
That is it.
Simple as that.
Keep your fucking hair.
Okay.
As a guy, you got to do this.
If you're a girl,
all right,
you got a boyfriend
who might be bald
and we like to ignore.
We like to ignore it.
We like to act like
it's not even happening.
It is happening.
Let them know.
Keeps.
Okay?
Keeps.com slash flagrant.
Do it.
Make sure you treat your scalp right
and keep that hair
for the rest of your life.
It is inexcusable.
Inexcusable. Honestly, the only genetic gift I got, got i think from god is he gave me a full head of hair and i'm a little
annoyed that keeps has made it this easy for motherfuckers to go bald you have no advantage
so now i'm done my only advantage is washed is nothing perfect anyway go to keeps.com
slash flagrant get that shit keep your hair okay we're quarantined now Might as well have a great head of hair Fully stocked
By the time we're back
Ooh
Ooh
Glow up
During this quarantine
Let's get back to the show
Okay
I'm back
Cleaned up
You know what I mean
I cleaned up
You know what I'm saying
How was it
I washed
I washed
100%
You can even touch them
Um
It was good.
The new Andrew, yo.
No, I know.
This really changed my life.
How do you wash hands?
You know, sometimes I wonder about your technique.
Huh?
I wonder about your hand washing technique.
I wash it the way everybody washes it.
You do the whole, you get the fingers and all that, get the thumbs.
No.
I wash the part that I use. is what well so i wipe usually with
these two fingers i knew so i just go like that and i just i put some soap on those fingers and
i go like that and then i'm good but i don't have to wipe these you fingering your own ass
like more like spider-man you You wash with just two fingers?
I think I wipe like that
How do you guys wipe?
Maybe these three?
How do you wipe?
I use all four
Get a good amount of surface area
Yeah, I think so
On the paper
Yeah, you got a big ol' black ass to wipe
I mean, I got a fat ol' ass
I'm out here with this little Caucasian booty
I can get him with two fingers
You do have a pair of fingers
You got strong ass hands
I'm surprised you don't cleft your asshole, dude.
No, I gotta watch out.
You're too dumb.
That's why I switched to a bidet.
You were just hooking yourself with it?
You hooked your bidet up yet, yo?
Say what?
You hooked your bidet up yet?
Man, can I just live my quarantine without judgment?
Without insecurity.
I missed you out, gosh. I missed you out, guys.
I missed you too, Joe.
In all seriousness, we moved to my
girl's crib.
Now, there's no bidet.
The bidet is over at my crib.
You install it at your crib or it's just at your crib
uninstalled?
Slick warden.
Politicians warding.
The heater works in the building but there's some smoke so we're trying to figure it out. Slick warden. Slick warden. Politicians warding. Hey, bro. You know what I mean?
The heater works in the building, but there's some smoke, so we're trying to figure it out.
Yo, some real shit before we get into the regular flagrancy.
We've been talking so much about corona and the things that are happening and trying to
prepare people for little stuff uh that's going down and
i think the next big wave this is my prediction the next big wave um will be and i think it starts
this week are uh people getting laid off work i think that companies are going to start to call
i'm gonna be honest you started that sentence like you had a fucking tip for all of us.
Like, yo, the next big technology that you guys need to invest in.
No, no, no.
Yo, let's ride this wave, yo.
And then this should turn into a tidal wave, a fucking tsunami killing all of us.
Well, I mean, if you want to take advantage of something like that,
if you're a guy who puts some money in the market like you do,
so the market is extremely affected by employment rates yeah and what everybody's waiting for apparently is for
the employment rate to come out now if you notice trump trump's been trying to say well once you did
two weeks you go back to work he wants everybody back to work because he knows once the employment
rate comes out the market's gonna fucking dive And that's when it really starts happening because what is the market, right? The market is in a lot of ways, judging people's ability to consume,
right? I can consume a stock. I am, I'm literally betting that that stock is going to go up because
people are going to consume it. Yeah. Right. If people are unemployed, what can they not do?
Spend. Can't spend nothing nothing if they're not working for a
company that company cannot produce yeah production consumption that's what runs the economy yeah so
with unemployment high i mean a lot of you're unemployed you're gonna see and i think this
is the week they lay people off it's the big dip seems to come when there's panic and that's why
every time they do a stimulus,
I know it's not going to work.
I don't know the economics of it necessarily,
but I'm skeptical that it will work.
I can explain.
Because I'm like,
you're not going to get rid of people's panic.
So here's the thing. In order for the economy to function,
you can't just give people money.
That's not what makes it function.
Didn't it work in 08 though?
Because what happened in 08?
We build our business, not people. What happened in 08? We build our business, not people.
What happened in 08?
We build our businesses.
Right.
And those businesses pay employees.
Yeah.
Those employees go buy pizza.
But most of his stimulus plans are for businesses.
Sure, sure.
There's two ways to go about it, right?
You either bail out the business or you bail out the employees.
You trickle down or you trickle up, I guess.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Right.
But either way, the goal is not to throw some money in your pocket.
The goal is actually to hand you money that you then spend.
Yeah.
It's like when you get paid at a casino.
You know what a casino get or like a casino gives you chips because you're a high roller.
Yeah.
You know what you're doing with them chips.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Like whenever you work as a comic as casino.
Yeah.
They can't wait to pay you because they know the second you're
off fucking stage do you think you think rich was when he gets off stage he's going back to
the hotel room no i want some action you pair of jordan's jordan's all right
just came out of re-release it's good price on stock X. Yo, we got to get boss on the podcast.
That's probably my favorite part.
He's the best, dude.
He literally is.
How much fun did we have with the Patrice?
He's the best, dude.
He's the best.
So that's their thing.
They're like, yo, let's give some money.
Let's throw some money at this problem.
Yeah.
That worked in 08.
Right.
It can't work now because even if you give me money.
I'm not spending it. Because I'm sheltered. Interesting. So even if you give me money. I'm not spending it.
Because I'm sheltered.
Interesting.
So even if you bail out the businesses, what are they going to do?
They can't hire anybody.
They can't even hire nobody.
It's like all these businesses, and I'm sure your girl has to go through it.
All of our girls have to.
They're working the corporate world.
You've got to go through it.
It's like literally they're just calling clients and going,
so what do you want to do?
And they're going,
well,
we don't know what to do.
Okay.
We'll call you next week.
Yeah.
My girl's lucky in that it's healthcare advertising.
So it's like marketing for whatever,
but healthcare there,
everybody wants medicine,
right?
Give me everything.
100%.
Knock on wood.
She's good.
But yeah,
I've always just thought what's going to make people panic.
And if the unemployment number is high,
people are going to panic. And if you have stimulus, but we still feel like we can I've always just thought what's going to make people panic. And if the unemployment number is high, people are going to panic.
And if you have stimulus, but we still feel like we can't go outside, people are still going to sell.
Because once you think we're fucked, you're selling and let me make what I can.
And then if you lose a few dollars, you're like, all right, I'll sell it.
And that's what drives the price down and down and down.
Yeah.
So I think, like you said, JFK, if they shut down JFK and then the news circulates and
everybody's melting down, let's just sell and get what we can.
That's the big sell off.
Unemployment numbers high.
Fuck it.
Sell.
Let's get what we can.
I heard a different another theory also.
And I think you touch on this, which is like instead of trying to predict the bottom.
Just put slowly.
Slowly.
Yeah.
Just do a trail.
Yeah.
And you know that it's going down.
You're putting let's say you have 10,000 total and you're putting in a thousand every week. Yeah. You know that it's going down. Let's say you have 10,000 total and you're putting in 1,000 every week.
You know that it's going to go down on that first 1,000
and you're going to lose some money,
but eventually it's going to come up.
But that last 1,000 that you hit before it comes up,
you might make, I mean, who knows what the stock is,
but that's what you're going to make all your money, right?
You can't chase the perfection of putting all your money in
right at the bottom. This is the lowest moment, yeah, yeah, yeah moment yeah because you never that's just not worth the risk yeah yeah so just
keep putting in slowly slowly yeah and i'm talking shit like i've done it i haven't i i've put in uh
invested in my roth ira and then i'm gonna like move that money around and then i'll put more
money in more money but like it's i'm not putting it i'm not dumping in money you should have a
i saw one guy said have a one-year emergency fund meaning like we scale
back everything not fucking the cell phone whatever like this is to survive one year survival fund
yeah and then if you have money left you can invest yeah yeah i always try to have always
that's always been my strategy is like how do we how do i operate for a year paying everybody
paying myself right and now you know i got a girlfriend that's more responsibility yeah
because at the end of the day it's like we could act like that's the thing and like times like this
you realize like the value of gender roles oh yeah because it's like we could act like oh we're
equals and we both have a responsibility to provide it's like i have a responsibility to
provide yeah and then you have a responsibility to provide until you don't yeah and then i do
right that's just how right it's not like i can stop providing that's modern day gender
hey we both get jobs but i better not lose mine
you can lose yours if you lose yours i I just got to work harder. You know what it is?
You know how like a car can drive with three wheels?
We're three wheels.
And your girl's the fourth wheel, right?
And it's like, it's nicer.
But we're going to get there.
We're a tricycle.
Yeah, we're a tricycle.
You add in another wheel.
That's great.
We good now.
We good.
You know what I mean?
Exactly. Your girl's like the bumpers in the bowling alley. You add in another wheel. That's great. We good now. We good. You know what I mean? Exactly.
Your girl's like the bumpers in the bowling alley.
People bowl before bumpers.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
And then I'll work harder if I get my, if you lose your job, I'll work harder.
And then I come home and you don't have a job, so cook something.
Yeah, it's like.
Because I'm tired from all this work.
It's like if your girl loses her job, it's like, all right, we're going to figure this out.
And if I lose my job, it's like, all right, we're going to figure this out. And if I lose my job, it's like, all right, I'm going to figure this out.
Don't worry.
I'm going to figure this out, man.
It's a lot of I when it's on us.
It's a lot of we when it's on us.
We got to do that shit today.
We be like, all right, what are we cooking for dinner tonight?
Damn, do we do laundry yet?
Yo, we got to clean up, huh?
Yeah, this house is a little dirty.
We should clean this shit
while I'm at work.
Hey, while I'm at work,
why don't we clean this apartment?
Oh, fuck.
So, yeah.
Anyway,
we hope everybody's good at home, man.
We hope that
you guys work everything out
and hopefully your business
take care of you.
And, you know, if not,
I'm sure there's like packages when you get laid off,
right?
You get some unemployment.
They're going to have to do something.
I mean,
this is going to be,
this is weird.
This is weird.
I think the next,
yeah,
the next couple of weeks are going to be like really telling as far as where
the economy goes.
You can't stop it for a week straight.
Think about it.
It's,
we've only really been quarantined for a week,
right?
Yeah.
A full quarantine and really just New York. A lot of the country is like kind of a week, right? Yeah, a full quarantine.
And really just New York.
A lot of the country is like kind of in it, kind of not, whatever.
New York and San Fran are the most locked down.
Dallas just did, what is it, stay at home or whatever they call it? Shelter at home.
Yeah, yeah.
But that's, I think, in effect today.
But it's going to, we don't know.
And Al and I were just debating off the podcast.
He said, somebody said the only way to make this actually go away is everybody is fully locked in their house for two
weeks and i just don't think that's possible no it's not possible because they keep giving us outs
but i mean that's the only way we can get rid of it like right now yeah we stayed in for two weeks
all the surfaces it would die what's your joke let I see your joke face right now. Yo, that was so fucking demeaning, son.
I was disgusted
with you. I'm around this motherfucker
so much. I see what it's like.
I did have a joke, though. I did have a joke.
That's why I wasn't even angry at him.
What's your little fucking joke, yo?
It was a little wisecrack.
Wisecrack. I'm like, his girl in his body tense up and shit like that.
But it is true.
I did have a joke out.
My joke was like, you know how they've been keeping on allowing us to exercise?
Yeah.
Like everybody's like, you got to gotta stay inside but you can exercise like you think they're worried that like americans are
already so fat that if they keep us inside they keep us inside we'll just start dying dude we'll
just start game over just obesity guaranteed imagine like we're moving around on an everyday
basis oh yeah if you're just at home. Yeah, that's nuts, dude.
It might be a wrap.
Yeah, you're teetering already.
I mean, there's already people so unhealthy.
Think how many people walk side to side.
The Zion?
Son, have you seen that meme with the penguin walking?
And they're like, Zion walking back for a time out.
Oh, my God.
No, I've never seen that.
Anyway, so weirdly enough some very interesting things have happened this week um in the uh in the athletic world
did uh akash is gonna help break down but remember last week we were all like how what the fuck is
going on with tom brady why is he going to the Buccaneers? You know, we had our theories, et cetera.
Well, this week, a report was dropped,
and it basically explained the saga leading up to now.
So it explains, it's an ESPN article.
It's a pretty long read.
Yeah.
The long and short of it is,
everybody that kind of sensed this for the past five years
and has been whispering,
I don't think Tom Brady's happy,
I don't think he's happy,
they were right. He kind of started to go for the past five years and has been whispering, I don't think Tom Brady's happy. I don't think he's happy. They were right.
He kind of started to go away from the Belichick method
and lean into his own TB12 thing.
What is that?
You know, the TB12 method about pliability, and he had his trainer.
And there was this article that came out like two years ago
where he would have his trainer in the facility a bunch.
Guerrero's or something?
Alexis Guerrero's, I think was his name.
Wait, isn't that our friend?
Oh, maybe it was Alex Guerrero's. Alexis Guerrero's our friend. Yeah, I people isn't that our friend oh yeah maybe it's alex
guerrero's yeah i don't know what it sounds alexis uh cool against what's up but he uh he had a
trainer that he would bring in that was his tb12 guy and then it kind of started to cause a division
in the locker room bell check sent him home there was some tension there brady essentially long and
short didn't feel appreciated he felt like i don't like that Belichick is just kind of like...
Undermining me.
He treats me like every other player, essentially.
Oh, he wanted to be treated nice.
Yeah, he's not even trying to undermine you like,
hey, if you're good, just let you know you're not as good as you think.
The second you're not of use to me, we will get rid of you.
His dad had a quote that was something like,
the second they find a quarterback as good as Brady for a dollar
cheaper, they're done with Brady.
Brady's dad.
Yeah, Brady's dad said something like that.
And Brady kind of felt the same way.
He felt like when it was Deflategate, everybody just had him take the fucking fall.
Belichick wasn't really with him, standing by him in the news conference, whatever.
All these little things added up where Brady's like, yo, these guys don't appreciate me.
And he was just unhappier and unhappier over time he wanted a longer term deal like now in his last
couple of contracts extensions and all that and belichick was just like my understanding was that
just from reading a little excerpts of it was that uh he didn't ask for the long-term deal
that he was specifically going for the one-year deals to have like leverage in the offseason
my understanding and i would have to reread it now
because maybe I misunderstood,
but my understanding was he wanted to retire a Patriot,
but they wouldn't really commit to him until he was 45,
which is how long he wants to play.
And that was just like, yo, you don't think I'm going to do it.
You don't appreciate what I've done.
I'm down to retire a Patriot.
But then it just got, they would have two-year deals
with little
opt-outs or whatever but it was always the idea that we're not fully committing to you we're ready
to move on when we need to essentially and brady at a certain point got he just he's so fucking like
upset at belichick well there's one big moment go ahead i i the big moment is is it happened prior to the Garoppolo trade.
So you know when Jimmy Garoppolo got traded to the 49ers, right?
You're remembering this, Alex?
Yeah.
Everybody at home, I'm sure you guys remember Jimmy Garoppolo.
There was a lot of tension between Belichick and Brady.
Right.
And, you know, Belichick was – well, Brady was basically like,
yo, what's the deal?
What's going on here?
I think Brady was coming off of injury.
No, he was coming off a deflate gate.
Garoppolo played that year.
Injury was like 2008, 2007, something like that.
Matt Castle started that year.
They went 11-5.
Okay, so maybe it was a deflate gate.
But there was three quarterbacks that they had.
They were all solid quarterbacks.
There was Jacoby.
They're all starters now.
There was Jimmy Garoppolo. And the whole league, they traded,. There was Jacoby. They're all starters now. There is Jimmy Garoppolo.
And the whole league, they traded, I think, Jacoby,
or they let Jacoby go to the Colts, right?
And then Jimmy Garoppolo was like, everybody in the league was like,
yo, this is a starting quarterback.
This is before, obviously, the 49ers where we show that he might be limited.
Everybody was really excited about him.
He's the number one.
And I guess he was playing some games. He was fucking balling his ass off balling um and belichick really liked him and
belichick preferred him to brady and brady was not fucking having it brady was upset and brady
kind of put his foot down it was like hey listen you're not going to have this other quarterback
here i'm the quarterback of the team and belichick calls up the 49ers to make a trade and offers Brady to the 49ers.
Did you not read this part?
No.
I did not see this part.
That's the big thing.
So he calls up the 49ers and offers Brady.
The 49ers are like, what?
Are you serious?
Kraft gets wind of it, shuts it down.
Right.
I had heard there was.
After that, dead.
But that was the.
So when he was like, make a decision and the decision is me.
Right.
Belichick was like, no, it's not.
Yeah.
And then offers Brady the fucking 49ers and Kraft has to stop it.
And the 49ers jam or whoever the fuck was on the other line was like,
wait,
did I hear this right?
They got at least one,
if not two Superbowls after that.
Two.
They went to it.
Yeah.
They went to two.
Yeah.
So they got at least,
they won at least one.
They gone to two.
They might've had the fifth.
He might've got his fifth ring after deflate get,
I'm not completely positive,
but so Belichick would have been wrong there.
My kind of view on it with Brady is like, what do you think got you the dynasty? flake get i'm not completely positive but so belichick would have been wrong there my kind
of view on it with brady is like what do you think got you the dynasty bill doing this why would you
think it's gonna stop for you it's good and ugly because you have an ego and he has an ego and i
see emotionally how you're hurt but in the back of your mind you gotta know oh this is great you
know when you fuck up and you're upset.
I was here Friday.
We were talking out some shit.
My car got towed and I'm upset.
Why the fuck is New York City towing?
You're giving reprieve for all these people.
Blah, blah, blah.
Why are you still towing me?
I know in the back of my mind, this is my fault.
This is what it is.
I know the deal.
The truth Tom Brady got to know in the back of his mind is this is what got you the dynasty.
Bill Belichick doesn't love anyone.
He's not going to love you when the time comes.
And that is a tough pill to swallow, but it got you a fucking dynasty.
The greatest dynasty ever.
And it might not have been that without you.
Cool, accept that.
But just you, that's Peyton Manning.
Just a great quarterback, that's Peyton Manning.
Peyton Manning having all his offensive weapons, throwing these touchdowns.
Two Super Bowls.
And one of them he got fucking carried to when he was washed.
That's the Broncos.
That's the Broncos.
Oh my God, man.
That's an amazing point.
You can't be upset about the Patriot way if you benefited from the Patriot way.
Yeah, this is the Patriot way.
It's not the Tom Brady way.
It's not TB12. That's what Belichick
is probably thinking. He's like, wait, why
are you getting your fucking
panties in a bunch about this?
We had a sit down every year where I said
I was going to release these
players and I was going to get rid of these players and
trade these players and you were totally
okay with it and on board with it.
And even if they didn't have a sit down,
you knew and you saw and you're smart and you won.
And I love Tom Brady and I hope he wins a ring with Tampa Bay.
But like,
this is what it is,
man.
You gotta know this is what it was going to be.
It had to end like this.
And I think with time,
they'll be okay.
Cause you'll realize that right now it's super fucking,
he's in his feelings in the back of his mind.
He got to know,
dude,
you know what? That really makes me, um um it really makes belichick more likable it's like
everybody asks for equality right everybody asks to be treated equal everybody begs for that right
and then it's right up his alley right yeah i know likable to you it's true because you're an
asshole you know what it is like we all ask for that right we all ask for certain treatment but
we don't know what that treatment entails right Like we tease women all the time on the podcast. Like y'all ask for equality when it benefits you. And then when it doesn't, you're like, no, I'm good. Right. We're just talking about right now. Yeah. And that's the situation with Tom Brady. Right. It's like you ask for. Well, maybe he never asked for equality. Maybe he wants to be treated better better but everybody in the world asked for this concept of equality and then when we have an actually equal system
truly equal hey i don't care who the fuck you are tom brady or whatever it takes to win whatever
whatever your fucking name is whatever it takes to win that means we cut tom brady a year before
he's done and we cut the guy that you don't even know a year before he's done this is just the patriot way and everybody falls in line i can sleep at night as belichick with that yeah and
if you spell that out to your players and i don't even know if you owe them that but if if it's known
in the ethos it's known in the culture they shouldn't be that upset about it they're yeah
it's your job to play like you have two more years left because if you
play like you got one you're gone yeah so keep that and you know what that might have been the
thing that allowed tom brady to play in an elite level until he's 42 years old because he's always
been playing like he got two more left oh that's interesting and hey maybe they'd have been maybe
they'd have won for 10 years longer if they traded Garoppolo, whatever,
because he had in his mind his quarterback of the future who's young,
so I could get the world for Tom Brady right now and then build around this guy who's in his early 20s
and just move forward, and now we got 15 more years.
Dude, that's a great take, man.
Why would I not do this?
And I love Brady.
I'm a Brady fan.
Yes.
But like, that is the Patriot way.
That is what we all fucking put them on a pedestal for.
That's what you benefited from.
I'm really surprised, though,
because if the Patriot way is like that,
as a player, how do you give your all?
I know you give your all to stay on,
but then it's like,
why would you want to be on a team that you know, like,
hey, if I start to slip, I'm out of here.
It's like you kind of want a little bit of that security, like,
yo, you know, if something happens to me, my team got me or, you know,
my squad got me.
So Belichick doesn't, they don't win a ton in, like, the free agency game.
They don't often go out there and throw money at the best free agent
and get a bunch of players.
They'll draft guys who Julian Edelman was –
nobody gave a fuck about Julian Edelman.
It was actually – it was a Dallas News –
Dallas Morning News writer who was like a sports guy
who was cool with Belichick,
and he's like got a hard-on for special teams,
and he was like, hey, Bill, and Bill loves special teams.
He's like, Bill, this guy's a good special teams player.
That's how Bill got
he gets cast offs
so special teams
for everybody
anybody who's foreign
and doesn't watch
American football
that's punt return
kickoff return
and kicking off
etc
it is
I don't understand
how there's like
people that love
special teams
why that affects
the game so much
why it's so important
I don't really understand
Belichick is obsessed
with it so it's gotta mean something in my mind,
but in my mind I'm like, what is it?
Is it just field position?
It's field position and then the field goal, you know,
if you get two extra points a game, that can win you.
That'll swing one or two games a season.
Which means about the year.
So the Cowboys lost.
The Cowboys had a terrible kicker all year.
His name was Bill Maher.
He missed like 50% of his field goals, which is a terrible percentage.
You should be somewhere around 70, 80.
Right.
That's like three points a game.
They lost like four or five games by three points.
So if, theoretically,
now you're not going to make 100%,
but if you win 100%
and you get an extra three points a game
or whatever it is,
now you're 12 and four instead of eight and eight,
and now you're one of the best records in the league
instead of not in the playoffs.
It's like the free throw shooting.
It's free throw shooting.
It is.
That's exactly what it is.
If your team shoots 75% or something like that,
there's no close games that you don't win.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's like that.
Interesting.
Okay, okay.
And field position matters and getting a ball at your—
The field position thing is interesting.
Like if you could really maximize field position in football,
especially if you're a team that has a great defense.
And this is another thing about what makes Bill Belichick so smart. I don't think he's still
doing it, but he's just always experimenting. The NFL, the kickoffs, people get hurt very badly on
kickoffs. I don't know why. Something about kickoffs over punts, people like career ending
injuries happen. Paralysis happens the most when people will get paralyzed on the field
during kickoffs. So the NFL is kind of trying to phase him out. So they moved the kickoff from the 30-yard line to the 35
so it would be more touchbacks.
Just kick it in the end zone, take it to the 25-yard line.
Belichick, instead of kicking it in the end zone,
told his kickers, kick it as high as you can.
So we have more time.
So we have more time to get down there.
And if a touchback is going to give you to the 25,
if you kneel in the end zone, let's see if we can tag him with the 20, 18, 19,
21, 22. Let's just get that extra five yards.
Like, that's, the guy's a fucking
maniac. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, to expect
any emotion out of this guy, I just
don't see how you can do that.
Yes. And he doesn't,
like, yeah, he's not, Randy Moss
went there when Randy Moss traded
to Oakland and then kind of
wasn't doing anything and was just struggling.
So now we make a trade
for Randy Moss.
Yeah, but you answer my question.
It's like they tend to get players
who just are happy to play.
Yeah, it's not a lot of guys
just happy to be on a team.
Not a lot of young
20-something guys
who are in line
for their first huge paycheck
or even are ever going
to the Patriots.
And then Belichick
can just spot their gifts. He's like, oh yeah, I can make it. Yeah, he's a football genius. Belichick is to the Patriots. And then Belichick can just spot their gifs.
He's like, oh, yeah, I can make him.
Yeah, he's a football genius.
Belichick is like the Tiger King.
Let's see.
He finds players that are extremely needy, right?
They're down and out.
They have no other opportunity.
He takes them in, and they'll do anything he wants
because Julian Edelman wasn't getting all these other opportunities from other teams, right? opportunity you know right he takes them in yeah and they'll do anything he wants because
julian edelman wasn't getting all these other opportunities from other teams yeah right it
was nothing it was like you don't get to play football at all you're playing the nfl come you
want to come over here yeah and then you could treat them however they want because they have
it already have it in their head hey i'm disposable so when you dispose of them they're like that's
what's supposed to happen we're going to talk about this one to the Tiger King when Mark shows his ass up.
Mark may be here already. I just want to point that out. We might be holding him
off for a specific second. Again, we'll talk about it.
Might not even be Mark that we have coming in. Might be someone else.
Never know. Might be a star of a new Netflix show.
Or a current Netflix documentary. You never know about be a star of a new Netflix show I mean you never or a current Netflix documentary
you never know
about these things
on the you know
Flavor 2 podcast
you know what I'm saying
you know Alex
has sent you a little text message
just wanted to check one thing
make sure you do that
but anyway go on
when you take someone
who's broken
like the Tiger King
took these broken people
yes
and then you give them something
yes
who are they loyal to
to you
julian edelman i don't know if you remember that video from sports center him and brady
at a hockey game and then he's putting brady on blast like he's gonna stay he's staying
julian edelman had had shirts saying stay tom whatever he wants tom to stay with the patriots
because he's not leaving why is he not leaving? Because he had nothing. And then Belichick gave him something.
He was nobody.
Nobody gave a fuck about me.
Belichick gave me a career.
I'm a Super Bowl MVP maybe two times.
Yeah.
I will die for Bill Belichick.
I'm not going no fucking where.
He took a guy who didn't have a contract and made him a Super Bowl MVP.
And there's, listen, there's good undrafted free agents,
but his story in particular is like nobody even thought about this guy. You think Edelman would kill for Belichick?
He might, dude.
He might.
He might.
He might go to Florida for three grand.
All right, let's take a break for a second, pay some bills.
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Especially during this quarantine time.
This is not a game out here, okay?
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You guys are with each other all the time, okay?
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You guys don't do it for a few days. You're pent up. And when you are seeing each other every single day, all day,
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Okay?
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Make sure this quarantine goes as smoothly as possible.
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Do what you have to do as a man.
Treat your wife right.
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Make sure you pass this time
Okay
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Bluechew.com
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Now we're not done yet
After you get that nice workout
Right
After you're doing all that lifting at home
With them dumbbells
Okay
After you're stressing your body After you you're doing all those push-ups,
using these muscles you've never used in your life, doing burpees,
doing these jumping squats, jumping lunges,
all this other shit that we never did.
Those muscles are going to be sore, right?
Akash, what do we do with these sore muscles?
Yo, the best thing to do is to buy the PowerDot.
PowerDot. PowerDot.
I actually,
personal experience with this,
I think we talked about this
on the podcast maybe,
is quarantine.
You can't work out.
I went jogging
because it's the only way
I could be active.
My body not built for jogging.
No, it's not.
I haven't jogged in years.
I was so embarrassingly sore.
My calves were killing me.
I could barely walk.
Whatever.
I came here.
I took the PowerDot home
let's go
super portable case
it's like the size
of a CD wallet
that we used to have
in middle school
and put it on my calves
felt better the next day
the PowerDot combines
and I read about this
before I used it
two different technologies
there's one called
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Yeah, it's an interesting situation.
Now, I haven't seen the video, but there's another story that's going around
that's really interesting for multiple reasons.
One, it's an NBA player getting their dick sucked on Instagram Live. Yeah. And two. It instagram live yeah and two it was live was it yeah it was live right it was on the story jamal murray
jamal murray jamal murray there's a video of him getting head i think he put it on his story and
then he deleted it but like you have to make two decisions to put it on your story do you know i
mean it's not an accident right
it's like you record it and then there's another button that you press and then it goes on your
story yeah yeah so it's not like you can record then your thumb slips and like hits it you have
to go all right that's me getting my dick sucked and i'd like it on my story and it asks you it
goes would you like to put it on your story? It's almost like Mark Zuckerberg is like,
you sure you want to get your dick sucked on your story?
And then Jamal Murray said, yes.
I got to see this video.
I haven't seen the video.
Have you seen it?
I have not.
No.
But don't you want to see that NBA dick?
Now that you mention it.
We got to see what NBA dick looks like.
Canadian NBA dick.
Canadian NBA.
I'm a little bit less interested.
Dude, Canadian black dick. Canadian NBA. I'm a little bit less interested. Dude, Canadian black dick. What is
that? Just like American white dick?
Is that
wrong to think that Canadian black
dick is smaller than regular black dick, Al?
Now we're
thinking about black dick.
It depends on what kind of Canadian you are. If you're like
the West, like you're like the
West Indian Canadian,
like first generation.
Some Jamaicans.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
If you're from Jamaica.
Yeah.
Jamaica.
If you have the data from Jamaica.
Well, I just like,
like I've been preached.
No, he's Haitian, son.
Haitian and Somali.
I said West Indian, right?
Say what?
They scrubbed this shit from the internet because I can't remember.
I said West Indian.
They scrubbed it from the internet?
Damn, son.
It's like me washing my hands, bro.
You know what I mean?
It's getting that COVID off my face.
It's mad easy to find that now.
If that's the case.
Literally just type it in Google.
Yo.
Son, that's what I'm saying.
They scrubbed it from the internet.
I might have to make a phone call to some NBA papers to see if we have it. Okay. Do that. That's what I'm saying. I might have to make a phone call to some NBA pit bulls to see if we have that.
Okay.
Do that.
You know what I'm saying?
We might have to call the Nuggets organization and see if we can get a picture of that.
Dang-a-lang.
The girl is sucking a dick.
Sucking a thing.
Sucking a thing.
How fast can you say sucking a dick?
Sucking a dick.
Oh.
Son. Yo, that's the fastest. Sucking a dick. Say's the fastest time yo say it again you got it i'll got it hold on hold on hold on a white girl going hey it says wife
it's his wife now girls if you want to know how to get an nba player
watch this immediately if you want to know how to get an NBA,
is he uncirced?
Come on,
Canada.
Okay.
She is going full throat on it.
No,
she,
she got a couple.
No,
no,
no.
She throated that thing with no hands,
full throat,
no hands,
not even directing it in a certain way.
That's a wild boy, bro. That's a wild boy, bro.
That's a wild boy, bro.
Run it back.
Let me take my dick off.
My dick off.
Let me take my dick off my body.
Oh, fuck.
I like that energy.
Yo, she knows how to do it, though.
Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
Making eye contact.
You know what I mean?
Yo, she's looking at me, it feels like.
That shit got intimate.
She just moved her own hair out the way.
Let's go, Megan.
Is she a Kentucky ball player?
No, I think she's, well, yeah.
Oh, she literally grabbed balls and shaft at the same time.
Whoa, that move was crazy.
Listen, I have to read this.
Ladies, if you are listening right now.
You got to do that John Madden thing where you go back and forth on the game film.
Let's run that back there.
Let's run that back there and get the bottom of that play.
Ladies, if you want to know how to get an NBA player,
or ladies, if you're asking yourself while you're in quarantine alone
why you don't have a quarantine bay and why your quarantine bay is not in the NBA,
look at the way that girl sucks dick,
and then look at the way you suck dick, and therein lies the answer.
Okay?
There is a distinct difference between the way girls that are alone
in the quarantine suck dick and the way that girl sucks dick
because she is sucking a dick.
She's sucking a dick.
She's sucking a dick.
Sucking a dick.
You are fucking fast with it, dude.
Yo, I'm telling you, top of mind.
Dog, I almost busted watching, and that guy was just holding steady that whole time.
Man, ain't nothing new for this man.
He's an NBA ball player, yo.
Oh, man.
What?
What do you mean?
I'd rate that like a six.
I mean, shut up, Al.
Son of a...
That was a six.
That wasn't even a...
Al, shut up.
That wasn't even impressive. I'm just saying. Al, shut up, Al. That was a six. That wasn't even a... Al, shut up. That wasn't impressive.
I'm just saying.
Al, shut the fuck up.
If you seen Superhead, there was no basket motion.
There was no...
There was one basket.
She was doing a single-hand basket.
Yeah, that's...
That's a six.
If Jamal Murray got enough baskets for everybody, man, come on.
It was not a six, Al.
That's for his ego.
Stop it.
Hey, hey.
We've all watched porn.
Stop acting like you're the only person that's seen sucking a dick so far.
Okay, and compared
to regular porn,
that was a six.
Bring a ten up.
Bring a ten up.
We go really see
if there's double,
almost double better.
That's crazy.
This guy's a fucking crazy person.
Like, we all haven't seen
the whole same goddamn porn.
We all see the super head shit.
Why is Andrew
taking such a piss?
I know, right?
I'm fucking pissed off.
He's trying to act like you get the best dick sucks.
Oh, I get the best dick sucks.
Yo, sometimes your ego be coming out of some odd shit.
Yo, I don't like it, bro.
I get better dick sucks.
I didn't like that shit.
I feel like Tom Brady, bro.
I feel like Brady right there.
I'm going to Tampa.
Hey, there's one guy that knows about exploiting young Jewish people.
Who's that?
It's got to be Al, right?
Little scrappy white people.
I mean.
Get them to do what you want.
Wait, what did Al do?
White women?
I mean, it's women in this case, but.
Damn, Al, I didn't know that you were exploiting the Jewish community.
It's weird looking up porn in a room full of guys right now.
Especially when you're looking up best head
I know it's like an alone activity
I usually like to peruse
Are you looking
But are you looking up
Is it like gender
Does it matter what gender
Like if we're really going for the best
Oh yeah
If it's a physical activity
Guys are gonna be the best at it
If you really wanna know the best porn
You might have to look up some dude
Dick suck suck on a dirt
i would just pull it up just to make archives
it's mad easy for me i got my back to the thing honestly i support this movement Ow! Ow! That's black on black crime, Alton!
Oh, you looked up gay black porn?
I looked up gay black porn.
So let me guess.
I can't even look at it to get it off the screen.
So you only fuck white girls, but your porn is black on black gay, dog?
Hey, hey.
Oh, man.
I got to take my scarf off, dog.
I can barely breathe up in this bitch.
Alton, we the best
oh god
man that really
made me feel
uncomfortable Al
oh my god
alright
fast forward
alright
we gotta
we gotta fast forward
a whole video
we already started
to fast forward
yeah fast forward
to the next topic
was there something else
that you truly wanted
to touch on
before we
bring in our
our guests
our newly famous guests.
We should talk about
the online stuff
that's happening, like the social media stuff that's happening
during this quarantine, like all the people going
on live. Yo, this
is what the whole quarantine is going to
expose, I think, is
there's going to be some real fucking winners.
Yeah. DJ D-Nice
is the biggest winner
in pandemic history.
Yeah.
For those of you who don't know, DJ D-Nice, the DJ who's been DJing for a couple of decades,
I think.
I remember hearing his name in like a tribe called Quest Songs.
Oh, wow.
Something to D-Nice to your rescue.
Like, this is an old school guy.
Yeah.
A guy that you would figure would have no fucking imprint on social media.
When the quarantine
happens he just says yo we're gonna have a party
I'm gonna DJ for nine straight hours or
whatever it is that's what he'll
marathon forever and he just starts
DJing and then it becomes this fucking
like global movement I'm
watching his IG live Jonah Hill is commenting
Netflix is commenting
motherfucking you told me Michelle Obama
was on there
I've
started watching that night. He was up to like
40,000 people were streaming or something.
He had like 400,000 followers on IG.
The next day I checked, he had a million followers.
Yeah, overnight. Doing it.
Killing it. And then Questlove appropriated
the idea. Oh yeah? And
I started seeing him get all this love. I'm like,
yo, how's this not appropriation? I mean,
everybody started. Like, the moment people saw that. I'm like, yo, how's this not appropriation? I mean, everybody started.
Like, the moment people saw that, it's like, oh, I just saw about six different lives going on at one time.
Right now, if you open Instagram, it's mad lives.
Yeah, lives are popping.
Now, I have to say, we have the hottest live, though.
We do have the hottest live.
We got the hottest live.
The talent show, Corona's Got Talent.
Yeah, yeah.
Simple as that.
Yeah.
Hottest live.
You got a little comment in the the Somebody commenting in the IG live
Oh I mean
Biebs was in there
Yo
My man
But that's regular
That's regular
What was the comment
Who needs Michelle Obama
When you got the Biebs
You got the Biebs
And you ain't wrong about it yo
Say what
You ain't wrong about it yo
That's what I'm saying
What Michelle Obama did
I'm sorry
That felt bad It's quarantine We can keep it 100 Yo, say what? You ain't wrong about it. That's what I'm saying. What Michelle Obama did. I'm sorry.
That felt bad.
It's quarantine.
We can keep it 100.
We can keep it 100 in quarantine. But she got some guns, though.
She still got guns.
She can take me.
Her body ain't fucking with the Biebs.
Biebs a joint.
Yo, yo, yo.
Biebs is a joint.
Yo, Biebs a joint on the inside and out.
Thanks.
Son. I'm just saying, Corona's got talent, yo the inside and out. Thanks. Son.
I'm just saying, Corona's got talent, yo.
We had the stripper post popping.
That's crazy.
We had the magic show.
I'm not going to front.
The magic show was unbelievable.
Really?
We had a dude do magic.
And this guy goes to me, he goes, pick a card through the camera.
Yeah.
I go, you can see it on my Instagram right now on the story while it's still up. goes pick a card through the camera I go all right I go pick a card you don't pick a card
obviously he goes now what is it I think about what the card is yeah I go nine of hearts right
he goes don't say what it is but just think about what it is no no matter of fact he asked me what
card it is he goes now put it back in the deck. He looks through the deck. There's one card that's flipped over.
The fucking
nine of hearts.
You don't sound impressive
from here. I gotta see it on the live.
You kinda have to see it.
It just sounded like... I'm not seeing you
virtually do the card pulling. I can't
picture that. Pick a card.
Say it. Nine of hearts.
Say any card. Ace of spades.
Any card. He just did. Ace of spades. Any card.
He just did.
Ace of spades.
He specifically said in the live, not the ace of spades.
Okay.
You didn't tell me that.
You just said it again.
It doesn't matter.
Go on.
Okay.
Four of clubs.
Four of clubs.
Imagine I took out a deck of cards right now, and I start shoving, not even shoving, just
going through the deck of cards, and there's one card that's flipped over.
Right?
It's one card that's actually phased down.
And then I pick up that card, and it's the four clubs.
Don't sound that hot to me.
Yo, this is like.
Whoa, Andrew.
You blew me away right now.
I give it a six, yo.
You jumped off the stage.
I'm giving you more.
I'm trying to make up where he lacks
I'd give it a six
If I had a fucking flute
And a cobra came out of a basket
This guy would lose his goddamn life
That's not that impressive to me
I know a lot of people who could do that
Then all of a sudden it's no big deal
A fucking cobra does what cobras do
There's a cobra right here
Instead of me falling on the ground
I'm falling outside
I just watched a white girl take down a cobra right here. Instead of me falling on the ground, I'm falling outside. Listen. I'm going to fuck out of here. I just watched a white girl take down a cobra, so I'm not worried about nothing.
Anyway, listen.
Corona's got talent.
You know, some people appreciate magic.
Some people appreciate art.
Okay?
This guy's at home folding fucking socks with his girlfriend.
We don't give a fuck.
I'm on IG Live and asking me my challenge
oh you know I said because we had Neil Manda in there I got love for Neil He looked like Akash when he's sick. And Akash is sick.
Oh, fuck.
All right, boom.
So let's go.
Listen, is there anything else that you wanted to discuss?
There was something else I think you said you had a good take on.
Yeah.
Oh, so the NBA, there's two NBA teams, one of whom is the Sixers.
I remember the other team, but they are cutting NBA employees to four days a week,
and then they will dock their pay accordingly.
So you're losing 20% of your check.
Does that include players or just?
It's like full-time employees, salary, like full-time employees that are 9 to 5, whatever, office guys.
I think the more companies do this, this will be good in the long run.
Oh.
Because salaries are always going to adjust up.
Okay.
But if in the same way a ton of people are working from home and a lot of offices are going to be like,
oh, we could just have you work from home whenever you want.
We don't need you in the office.
And that's going to be better in the long run.
Going down to a four-day work week, if everybody does that, a lot of companies are going to be like,
hey, maybe we don't need people to come in five days a week.
And once this shit is over there's
a possibility we might start transitioning to a four-day work week because it's like oh we got
just as much done we're just not wasting fucking time anymore outside of four-day work week how
many people really need to be in the office like once we realize how effective you can be from your
home and how costly real estate is i don't fucking understand why companies insist on it.
So that's the thing.
It's like you have what's called a brick and mortar, right?
Like you actually have the business has its stores like on, you know, Fifth Avenue and
these type of things.
A lot of these places are loss leaders, right?
Meaning that they lose money, but you want to have a face, right?
This makes sense for retail.
It doesn't make sense for an advertising agency.
I don't understand.
You can have a small office, right?
Or you can have these workspaces.
But for the most part, you can stay home, do your work at home.
And then when you're doing your work at home, you can carve out your own fucking schedule.
Take your lunch when you want to take your lunch.
You have to be on certain calls.
It's very easy.
Or decide to work in a communal workspace.
And what if, hypothetically speaking, you and all your friends work together but you have
different jobs so now me let's say we have corporate jobs you me and alex work for different
companies but we decide to share a workspace yeah so that means we take our lunches together
that means we go out do a workout class do whatever we want we don't have to work with
the fucking dickheads that are in the office you don't get along with. You actually work with
people you like being around.
This makes perfect sense. WeWork's apparently
not doing well. I've looked at WeWorks in the past.
I thought it was going to win. I was wrong about
WeWorks because I was like, that's what it's going
to be. We don't need offices. You just need a
place you can rent out every once in a while when I
got to get you together. Well, WeWork is not working
well because they put themselves out as a tech company
and not a real estate company. And I think tech companies get this
crazy evaluation. They get like a 25 to one evaluation and they really don't have any tech.
No, you're a real estate company. You're a real estate company. So it's like,
exactly. That's all you have is space and you rent it out. So if they came out with their IPO,
right. And they were just like, Hey, we're just a real estate company. So it's whatever real estate
is one to one or five-one or whatever that is.
Then I think they would have done fine.
But when they said we're a tech company and then their evaluation came out way lower than they thought, they're going to get crushed.
But to me, that's what it – there's another move there where you just have office space that people will rent out for one hour, two hours at a time, whatever.
Work with the people you like.
That can be their motto.
That can be their slogan.
Work with the people you love.
Just go to – you and your – I mean you can go to work with your wife, go to work with your boys motto. That can be their slogan. Work with the people you love. Just go to you and your,
I mean, you can go to work with your wife,
go to work with your boys.
You could switch who you go to work with.
You could literally go,
hey, what are you guys doing Wednesday?
You guys want to work together?
Yeah.
Hey, well, let's get the WeWork, blah, blah.
All you need is the internet connection.
Yes.
It's a great idea.
I think they just expanded too quickly.
WeWork.
They got hungry.
And the money was cheap.
They got greedy. If you go tech to get a higher valuation, to me, that's just WeWork. They got hungry. Yeah. And the money was cheap. They got greedy.
If you go tech to get a higher valuation, to me, it's just, oh, you got greedy.
Yes.
You didn't want to take the long real estate road, so you got greedy.
Some of the earlier WeWorks, like the one on 14th Street around there, it's always packed.
I deal with a couple people in there.
It's always fucking packed.
And then the one in Brooklyn, Williamsburg, which is fairly new, always empty.
Yeah. The Dumbo one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Dumbo the dumbo yeah yeah yeah yeah they got greedy expanded too big yeah and and it was easy to expand right because the economy was fucking
humming and money was so cheap like you could get money from anybody because they're like yeah i
want to invest in something everything's good but uh so maybe now when it downsizes maybe now
it'll work out better but i love the idea of fuck the office do your own work on your time choose
the people you want to work with.
Hey, do you work better alone?
Then you just get
your own little fucking cubicle.
Knock it out.
And I've been weirdly optimistic
about like,
hey, this is all going to be
for the best in the long run.
I do think some of these benefits,
four-day work week
might be optimistic,
but work from home
is going to be more of a thing.
Like in 10 years.
Four-day work week is sick, dude.
It could be.
If they can make this work.
How easily could we do that?
I've been
wanting that for the longest like and i've worked corporate america since i was like 16 17 um it's
so easy to switch add two hours a day hours to the day i mean just think about it we went to school
high school right yeah elementary through high school five days a week yeah we get into college
yeah immediately yeah we turn it into a four-day school week, right?
Yeah.
Most of you guys,
at least that's what we did.
We went through,
for Tuesday, Thursday classes,
and then like Monday, Wednesday labs
or whatever the fuck they were, right?
So you have a Monday through Thursday thing.
It was very easy.
It was like-
We have Monday, Wednesday, Friday,
but people would always try to stack
so they would have one or two days off.
Always.
Sure.
So it's like, if we know how functional it is and we know how easy it is to make that shift, and we didn't think that there was any less learning per se going along,
I think it really worked. Now, the question is what happens to those jobs that, matter of fact,
yo, it might even be more functional for businesses because you go four days a week full time and then you hire
people for three day a week part time. Businesses can save money because you don't got to pay part
time employees, benefits, health insurance, all that kind of shit. And you know what? Four day a
week. Give me 11 hours. Or what is it? A 40 hour work week? 10, 10 hours. Give me 10 hours. Yeah.
What they've been doing to us now is making it a kind of 50 hour work week 10 10 give me 10 hours yeah what they've been doing to
us now is making it a kind of 50 hour work week yeah but it's like you want me to put in 50 i'll
i'll do four what is that 12 hour days yeah i could do four eight to eights no but a lot of
these jobs are doing salary and so you can do a 10 day 10 day. It's like you still get paid.
Salary, yeah.
They don't pay you overtime and they'll work you harder.
And it would also kind of safeguard against that if it's a four-day work week because you can only work a person in one day so much
and then expect them to come back two, three more days in a row.
So boom, give me four 12-hour days and then a three-day weekend every day.
Dude, that's great for common.
Now you've got people going out.
You've got one extra brunch.
Yeah.
For restaurants and shit, you've got one extra.. Yeah. You got one for restaurants and shit.
You got one extra.
In terms of consumption, it's hard to consume when you're working all fucking day.
Night life is going to pop, dog.
Wednesday night.
Yo, if you're in college, what's the big party night?
Thursday.
Thursday night.
How about we just make that everywhere?
Boom.
Yeah, dude.
I think as crazy as this seems, four-hour work week is more fun.
Now, there are certain things that need staff, right?
Banks need staff.
The post office needs staff.
Courts need staff, right?
Like there are certain things you actually need people there five days
because let's say you get arrested on Thursday.
Now you're going to spend fucking Friday, Saturday, Sunday in the tombs.
So there are certain things that might change a little bit,
but the regular corporate sector, fuck yeah, dude.
400%.
So we go into freelance where we work seven hours a week
right when every motherfucker is about to work four hours a week.
Goddamn.
Yeah, but we still got a nice situation.
Even though working seven days a week,
it's still like you pick the hours you want to work.
We're our own boss.
While you try biking and working,
raining, cold.
We work as hard as we want to work.
Exactly.
This is our choice.
We could do four days a week, 100%.
All right, guys.
We're going to take a break for a second.
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Let's get back to the show.
Talking about bosses.
Talking about kings.
Talking about royalty.
You know what I mean?
We have a special guest today.
Right.
Fresh off of his Netflix series, The Tiger King.
Okay.
Oh, shit. off of his Netflix series right the tiger came okay we have the one and only
Joe exotic coming in oh shit this was very difficult shit it's very difficult
to get because he is currently incarcerated so we had to find a way to
get him out of prison he snuck him out snuck him out Jeremy and that's where
Edna's again that's where Edna if anybody can sneak people across walls boom there we go we got it you know i'm saying we got one on the inside um tiger king
tiger king can you please come join us did you hear that growl just now i heard a growl
okay we got the tiger king in the building everybody Everybody fresh off his Netflix series and success.
Motherfucker took my shirt, son.
Yo, let the
Tiger King live for a second, bro.
Man, bro got a prison. You need to close.
Tiger King,
first of all, I want to say thank you so much
for coming on the show, man. I know you must be getting
crazy amounts of media.
You got to stretch those legs out for that Prince
Albs. That Prince Albs is big time. I got all this Prince Albert in here. Why is your ear blue, dog? crazy uh amounts of media you gotta stretch those legs out for that prince albs yeah that prince
house is big time all this prince albert in here yeah you know why is your ear blue dog
is it what do you mean that ear is something's wrong with that ear what do you mean oh shit
what's wrong no no in all seriousness yo you do something with yo yo your ear looks infected hold
on it's blue yo that's my ear piercing up in blue dog that's my ear piercing what's wrong no no did you really
now do you know that's happening right now really bad blue
did you just clip it or did you get my ear piercing out
someone get my ear piercing out right now get it out right now hold on come on get it out okay tiger king i get get both of
them off tiger king because my pierces off son did you put this through your fucking ear i don't
think so dude you have a hematoma on your ear tiger king i'm really concerned about you man yes son it's white boy boy y'all almost you almost sacrificed your fucking ear for this tiger king we really appreciate
so tiger king okay so you have this amazing netflix uh series that's that's out and uh
and and you've taken some time out of your you know lengthy prison sentence
to come in here and talk to us about what you experienced right um first of all where did this
love of tigers come from because i hated pussy so i got into tigers you know that's kind of what
happened growing up dude what a character bro what a character this guy is dude so uh so you get into
you hate pussy so much so you get into it. You hate pussy so much.
You are a gay man.
That's true, yeah.
A lot of people, they might not know that within the first couple episodes,
but you are like super gay.
And I hope you don't think we have a problem with that
because we actually work with a gay guy.
His name is Mark.
He's not here right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We work with a gay dude.
Sounds like a handsome kid.
You'd really like him.
You'd really like him.
You would love this guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How many teeth does
he have say again how much teeth does he have oh full mouth the team ah damn it but you can make
some room all right so um now you're known for taking guys straight guys yeah and then making
them gay while they're with you yeah it's called dick flipping dick flipping yeah okay flipping a dick yeah flipping a dick flipping a dick damn oh my gosh that's good okay so um how do you flip a dick
it's a lengthy process flipping a dick i'll tell you what uh you got to bring them in you got to
ask them first i'll ask them i'll say hey how straight are you yeah right so here we can
practice what is he straight or is he uh he's in the end yeah yeah all right, I'll say, hey, how straight are you? Yeah. Right? So here, we can practice. Is he straight or is he?
He's Indian.
Kind of.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
So I'll say, how straight are you?
Mostly straight.
Mostly straight.
All right.
Well, when you watch porn, do you want the big one or do you want the little one?
I want that big one.
So you're not that straight.
And then I fuck him.
So yeah, that's basically it.
That's pretty much the whole.
No, that's funny because when you said that, I was like, that's a good point.
That's a good point, I guess.
Now, yeah, we get you hooked on meth and you fuck them.
Oh, there's a meth thing too.
Yeah, the meth thing mostly.
Skip the step.
Yeah.
So do you look for the guys that have meth?
Is that part of it?
No, you need them to want meth.
And then if they just want an interest in some.
I meant, sorry, have a meth addiction.
That's what I meant. Anyone can have a meth addiction. That's what I meant.
Anyone can have a meth addiction.
That's the way I see it.
I'm an equal opportunist.
Do they need like a meth curiosity at least?
Nah, I don't even think so.
They need more like a tight little waistline and some big balls.
That's all they need.
That's all I'm looking for.
Why do you like the big balls, Tiger King?
Because, you know, they're just fun to play with.
And, you know, I remember at at uh at uh travis's funeral he used to rub his big balls on my face so uh it
just reminds me of uh you know it just reminds me of him was that what you thought was most
appropriate to share at his funeral of all the things that you guys did together of all like
the times you connected yeah i just wanted i just wanted his mom his mom was there so i wanted her to you know to hear that fun story of us and i also wanted her
to hear my new song uh here kitty kitty that i sang at the funeral so in the actual uniform that
i wore in the music video so i wanted everyone to hear that just in case those clips are maybe used
on the news or something then people could reference that song yeah i take a i take a very social media approach to my content you know i make small content clips
i subtitle them and i put them out on youtube you know that's how i revolutionize the animal game
yeah listen sounds brilliant to me i mean anybody who would take that approach with their industry
it's probably a king you know what i'm saying I would call him a king myself. So this guy is just fucking one of the greats.
Really one of the greats, you know?
And then a quarantine might happen.
You know what I mean?
And then everybody in the animal game
might probably start doing what you're talking about.
This bitch Carol.
Oh, this bitch Carol down in Florida?
Tell us about this bitch Carol, man,
because she seemed to be causing so many problems for you, bro.
She really bothered you.
She knocked you in a certain way.
This bitch Carol.
Do you think it's because
she knows she could never have you
because you're not interested?
I don't know what exactly it is.
I mean, her hubby Howie
is quite a looker,
so I'm interested in him.
But I think,
as far as Carol goes,
I just think she's jealous
of all the cubs that I have.
I really think that's it.
I think she's jealous of the cubs.
I think that bitch is a murderer, too.
Yeah.
She killed her husband down there in Florida.
You saw that, right?
Yeah.
She fed him to the tiger.
So I think she's just jealous of what I have.
What do you think it is?
Yeah, I think she killed her husband, 100%.
I think she's jealous of you because you found a way to get your husband to kill himself.
And that's a skill.
That's why you're the king.
And she's not.
She's just some cat rescue bitch.
Yeah.
Right?
That's correct.
I think that she was a fucking piece when she was younger.
She was a dime.
Yeah.
Did you think that?
I know that you don't look at them like that.
Yeah.
I mean, I can see it.
I can definitely see it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I'm also pissed at her
because she stole the name of our company.
What was the name of your company?
Big Cat Entertainment.
And what was the name of hers?
Big Cat Rescue.
I mean, if I had to go see something...
I'd see Big Cat Entertainment, right?
I want to be entertained.
I don't want to see a cat get rescued.
Who cares about rescuing?
Yeah, rescuing implies there's something wrong.
It's the worst part of the cat,
rescuing it.
Yeah, you don't have to judge. Don't judge the cat that it needs to be rescued. Yeah. Now, can you talk wrong. It's the worst part of the cat. You're rescuing it. Yeah. You don't have to judge.
Don't judge the cat.
That it needs you to rescue.
Yeah.
Now, can you talk to us about Doc Antle a little bit?
Because he was one of my favorite characters.
I love Doc Antle.
Doc Antle was my mentor.
What would you like about Doc Antle?
Soul patch.
Soul patch.
Yeah.
Not that he called himself God.
That was nice.
Yeah.
Bhagavan.
Yeah.
Bhagavan, Doc Antle.
What was it?
Bhagavan?
Bhagavan, yeah. Say it again? Bhagavan? Bhagavan, yeah.
Say it again?
Bhagavan.
It's Bhagavan is how he spelled with a V, but Bhagavan.
I think it's Bhagavan.
Yeah, you're closer.
I think it's Bhagavan.
Didn't he say that?
It's like that kid rocks on.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan.
Bhagavan. Bhagavan. Bhagavan. Bhagavan. Bhagavan. Bhagavan. Bhagavan. Bhagavan. Bhagavan. Bhagavan. Bhagavan. Bhagavan. Bhagavan. Bhagavan. Bhagavan. The parking lot garage. Okay, so Doc Antle.
Yeah, Doc Antle.
Now, did you feel while watching this documentary
that the documentarian, the director of the documentarian,
did you think that he liked Doc Antle or disliked Doc Antle?
What do you think that his personal opinion on Doc was?
I don't know.
I mean, Doc Antle's one of those guys, you like him or you love him. You know, that's what we say.? What do you think that his personal opinion on Doc was? I don't know. I mean, Doc Ansel's
one of those guys
you like him
or you love him.
You know,
that's what we say.
And how do you feel?
I loved him, man.
He was my mentor.
I loved that man, Doc Ansel.
Did you ever think
about turning him up?
No, never.
No, he had all these ladies.
You know,
he was able to train the Tigers
and train the women, right?
Legend.
Is that where you learned
to train your boys?
Yeah, we were a little competition there, you know?
Yeah, he would get these young girls.
I would get these young boys.
Now, he didn't need meth.
Yeah, but women are easier to tame.
Ooh, interesting.
If you had to compare men and women to animals that you have to tame,
what's a man and what's a woman?
Yeah, well, a man's like a tiger or a lion.
A woman's like a lemur or a snail.
Snail. a woman yeah well a man is like a tiger or a lion a woman's like a lemur or a snail why is a woman like a snail well you know if they sit there scoot around they leave a little trail and that way if they try to get away with you you can always follow them exactly you're
easier to follow right right right i see you i see you sweetheart get back here you're in the closet
again now how do you come up with the amount of money that you pay them a week we've noticed that
the employees at these um zoos got paid a very minimal minimal wage i mean you were paying
your guys 150 a week 120 a week yeah was it 120 yeah well 138 and 67 cents but yeah ah well 150
i guess minus the taxes right because you're a good law-abiding taxpaying citizen i'm not a
criminal yeah of course not yeah i mean i would basically just ask them, hey, how much were you making in jail?
And then I would say whatever that number is
and multiply it by like 20.
And then we're making like $1
and now we're making $20 a day.
So that's pretty good.
So they're looking at like a raise.
Yeah, it's a huge promotion for them.
Wow.
So is that why you got people from prison?
So it's such an easy inflation scale?
No, of course not.
I got people from prison because I care about people
and I wanted to give people a chance to bounce back bounce back and uh find themselves and maybe get on meth
and fuck me so it's like dick yeah exactly so uh yeah i'm just uh yeah i'm trying to pull people
up from their dick straps any other questions for the guys if you haven't put this together already,
maybe you're listening online,
but if you're watching the video,
I have to be honest with you
because I've always been honest with our audience
and I feel like that connectivity that we have
is based on trust and truth.
We don't actually have the Tiger King here.
I know you guys were fooled.
I know you were fooled for a second.
Pretty convincing, right?
It was convincing when you came in and your left earlobe was twice the size of your fucking
forehead.
And we stopped the whole interview.
Dude, I don't even want to tell people what he was using as...
Do you know those little key...
Key rings.
What are they called?
Key rings?
Yeah.
This guy got mercury poisoning
he definitely has something 100%
did you not listen to the electro thing that we were talking
about the other day that's how you get
the that's how you get the illness oh that's the 5g
that's the 5g it's going right to your fucking
ear so we actually have
Mark Gagnon in the building he's joining
us here and
so it's not the tire king but I do want
to open this up for an interesting Tire King
discussion because I was absolutely fascinated by the doc.
Have you finished the doc?
Yes.
Okay.
Al, have you come close to finishing it?
Yeah, just about.
Now, anybody who hasn't finished the documentary, there's nothing that is ruined by us talking
about this.
They tell you the ending at the beginning.
Yeah.
The documentary is not about the ending.
The documentary is about the absolute craziness
that transpires over eight episodes,
seven episodes?
Seven.
Seven episodes of this show.
If you haven't watched it,
you can stop this podcast right now and go watch it.
I would not be offended at all.
You'll come right back to it
because you want to have a conversation about this.
There's some fascinating characters about it. If you don't know what's going on you will within a
day everybody's texting their friends i i don't think netflix could have picked a more perfect
time to drop this yeah because right now we want a fantastical form of distraction and
you cannot believe what this is is real. You cannot believe it.
You know why I also think it's brilliant?
You know what my main gripe with it was?
What?
It's too long.
But if you're quarantined, you got nothing better to do. You thought it was too long?
Go on that for a second.
Because I was...
It might be a personal thing where I don't like that you see it at all.
No, what are you talking about?
I got up to episode five.
No, I saw his face when you said, did you finish it at all?
He goes, I came close. And then I just kind of smirked at him because I saw his face when you said did you finish it at all he goes I came close
and then I just kind of
smirked at him
because I was like
I know he didn't enjoy it
maybe white people
enjoy it more or something
I don't know
oh I have it there
they enjoyed his shit way
but I don't
like making a murderer
did you notice how many
black people were in the documentary
there was one
yeah
which one
the guy that was gonna vote
for Tiger King
oh yeah
that blew my mind he could be as good as
any of us yeah yeah and i think doc antle had a black girl or like brown girl or something she
was some kind of no there's a dark girl there's a dark they start to look darker when there's none
of them around everyone starts that's how sicilians are like no we're black really
uh but i just don't making a murder was another like seven part thing
that I just quit on in episode three.
Oh, I love that too.
Maybe it's a white thing.
It might be,
because I was just like,
I'm going to do this
because we're talking about it.
It's the number one show on Netflix right now.
Yeah.
Literally number one in America.
Let's talk about it.
Let's finish it.
And it wasn't awful.
Yeah.
But I had to fight to get through it a little bit.
Are you kidding?
I had to get through this shit.
This is optimal white people.
I was sad when it finished.
Optimal white people. Okay, go on this. I was sad when it finished. Optimal white.
OK, go on this.
Talk to me about us.
White guys playing with guns
and animals that can kill them.
Yes.
And then you have women,
white women complaining about
shit that has nothing to do
with them.
Like, for example,
this bitch who's complaining
about this, what this other
guy's doing with fucking
tigers and shit like that.
It has nothing to do with
the rescue.
She's just mad that she couldn't be the tiger bitch in the beginning because she just didn't have that
game so it's like oh now my thing is going to be rescuing tigers instead of trying to
talk about her later but i don't necessarily agree with that but continue your point but
this is just optimal optimal whiteness because it's just like white people white boy like at
its most peak it is peak white boy fun
it's death defying shit they're gay about shit that has nothing to do ain't that peak white boy
fun guns animals and fucking each other son peak white boy you go on black twitter right now we're
looking at this shit it's like yeah what the can i just say something that was disgusting i really
want i was so not a judgmental guy i was so mad that this was something we had to watch
I'm trying to stay up for this bullshit last night
I was trying to stay up for this bullshit last night. I was like, I can't believe drew is this engaged in this bullshit
I love my people. I know I love my people. I love my culture, bro
It is
First of all, I cannot disagree with you more. I think it's the best thing that's been on TV in at least 10 years.
At least 10 years.
And you also love The Bachelor, so it makes sense.
No, The Bachelor's fire, too, son.
The Bachelor's fire, bro.
You don't think The Bachelor's...
What do you like on TV?
I've never watched The Bachelor.
What?
I've never watched an episode.
You can start.
I'll tell you what.
Yeah, you're missing out.
So let me explain why it's so fucking amazing.
Because it's wrestling but real.
Doc Antle is a wrestling character okay the tiger king is a wrestling character carol to a certain extent is a wrestling character all these people are extreme versions of human
beings that you don't get to see like you see a wildlife bitch every once in a while like one of
your friends really likes animals or something like that like whitney cummings loves animals right
and like we talk about animals even whitney don't even like cats but whitney likes animals right
and like you talk to them you tease them etc but you never get to fully experience the extremes
of this right a tiger trainer we've heard of sig 3 and roid and these motherfuckers but we're not
talking about someone who owns 200 fucking tigers who it costs ten thousand dollars a month to feed them they don't have ten thousand dollars
so they're getting the walmart food that falls off the back of the truck to feed them and the
employees are also eating the same food the tigers are eating like shit is so mind-boggling about
this documentary oh yeah white trash it's absolutely that's what i think that minorities
would like it because you get to see white people you could feel better than
Just turn on Maury say again. Just turn on Maury. This is more with Tigers
Like Maury with Tigers
That's it that takes the population that's it
It's it I think that minorities are too homophobic to appreciate the greatness and its characters
But what I loved about this is it showed it like
to be honest it showed a side of southerners and i think they tried to lean into this but like
there's always this idea of southerners like they're like you know they're laying they're
laying they're laying i'm spitting i'm i'm like uh spitting out my fucking dip um i don't care
about anything but my freedoms one of your freedoms is you get to do whatever you want with your time.
And I think that the show kind of demonstrated that these hillbilly-ass hick southerners who are supposedly hanging black people from trees and beating the shit out of and murdering gay people,
not only were they okay with him being gay, they actually were willing to vote for him for governor.
He came in third in the race just because
he didn't give a fuck and he said what was on his mind and i really think that there's this fraction
that's not even that small fraction of southerners that we've been told in new york and california
that they're just super racist they hate everybody that's not christian this that the other but they
were like okay he's gay but as long as you do that shit at your house and i don't got to see it i don't give a fuck and they all went to his fucking thanksgiving
they all went to his park they took their kids to his park they knew he was gay the whole time
and i thought it was this really interesting observation of ballet southerners where you saw
even those like the dudes that he was gay with they weren't gay they were addicted to meth right
they were exploited yeah and they were exploited, yeah.
And they were exploited.
But you really saw the exploitation happen on all levels.
You know what this show is?
What?
It is White Trash Game of Thrones.
Oh my god, Akash.
What a fucking take.
That's what it is.
It is White Trash Game of Thrones.
This Carol bitch is Cersei.
Oh!
Jeff is Littlefinger oh gosh with some
hot fucking taste today his name the guy that snitched on the fed to the feds
that's Varys yeah I mean I do the right thing look kind of like a woman the
motherfucker look like fortune Feimster I gotta pull up a side-by-side please
tell me this ain't fortune fine store put it in the
podcast it's edited jeff low yeah is little little finger complete little finger exploits everyone
moves from person to person like a fucking parasite and he will eventually get his but
it's gonna take a long time it's gonna take a while so i was talking to uh tim dillon about um
about these characters because i was most fascinated in the whole Tiger King
were the characters of the con artists,
the Jeff Lowe types.
And I was like, explain to me what they are, right?
And Tim was kind of breaking it down.
He goes, so these people are con men
and they operate on the fringes of society, right?
And they operate around pseudo legal businesses so owning
a zoo is legal but breeding the cubs is obviously illegal and selling these tigers is illegal right
so when that is the majority of your business and that was the only way they could make money
you can't exactly get legal money to support that right so when you need money and you need support
you have to go through illegal means so what these people do who operate on the like these fringe businesses the jeff low types
is they find at-risk businesses so just like an investment company would find an at-risk company
you know like mitt romney has made all his money finding at-risk businesses or businesses that are
uh in debt buying them and then flipping them around. That's, that's what, what is it? Is a company called something capital Bain capital,
right?
Literally all being capital does.
So Jeff Lowe is the illegal business side of being capital,
right?
He goes in with confidence.
He has maybe people who support him,
right?
Oh,
I got you.
I'm going to be your saving.
Great.
Hey,
you know what,
Carol,
there's a moment in the documentary where he goes, fuck, fuck you. I'm going to be your saving grace. Hey, you know what, Carol? There's a moment in the documentary where he goes,
fuck, fuck you.
We're American.
We got to be free and we got to stand up for our freedoms
and we're going to take you down or some shit like that.
And he pays a $35,000, there was some debt that was built up.
I don't know.
He basically writes a cashier's check, comes in to save the day.
Oh, that's right.
Yes.
Right? Takes them to Vegas and shows to save the day. Oh, that's right. Yes. Right?
Yeah.
Takes them to Vegas and shows them all the cool Vegas shit.
Right?
Obviously, he's using the Tigers to get some pussy and that kind of stuff, but he's running
the con there.
Oh, yeah.
And the con starts, and the way that he's going to separate him from his business is
you get in enough debt where you have to sign the business over to me.
But remember I saved you last time? Yeah, and it's just, look, you already transferred ownership. Just transfer it to me to sign the business over to me but i say remember i saved you
last time yeah and it's just look you're already transferring ownership just transfer it to me she
can't get to me and why would you not transfer me i i spent that 35 000 off my pocket to help you to
support you and you know when we know when he fully when i imagine joe exotic's eyes lit up and
was like this is my savior is that phone call that's when it's fully set this is the fucking
guy he's right up he's got money yeah he's gonna do everything i want he's on my side this is my savior, is that phone call. That's when it's fully set. This is the fucking guy who stood up.
He's got money.
He's going to do everything I want.
He's on my side.
This is America.
He fucking tugs on your heartstrings with this is America.
And you're a cunt, which is what he's been saying.
Yeah.
And you're a fucking bitch husband or whatever.
And then he's just like, this is the guy.
This is my savior.
And what did the people at the park start saying?
After that, it seemed like it was the Jeff show.
Yeah.
And Joe would do whatever Jeff wanted.
He was kissing up to Jeff,
et cetera.
And what's really interesting about it is
you can't feel too bad for Joe
because that was Joe's plan
with all the employees.
And with his husbands
in particular.
With his husbands,
with his employees,
and with the cats.
Yeah.
Joe was exploiting everybody.
And then as soon as he gets exploited.
So we can't feel too bad.
No.
Right?
So his whole business is based on exploitation.
Right?
Then this guy comes and exploits him, but he's aware of it.
And that's how Jeff probably goes through his life.
He goes, well, I don't have to feel too bad taking advantage of these people who take advantage of people for a living yeah right they know the game i'm just hustling you
yeah comes in separates him get him i mean literally uh the joe exotic got his mom to
spend her last they barely show that it's very did you guys see that part yeah i might have
zoned out so it's a very short part probably the
only person i felt bad for in this entire son yeah parents of both he he gets parents and joe's
parents well what happened with carol's not carol's uh her ex-husband that she killed yes
they got they got taken yeah completely got taken and um i mean so he fucked over he's a piece of
shit guy they make him seem
nice and charismatic i think they do a really good job of positioning to be him to be likable
and i think you need to do that or else we won't follow him yeah but he's a piece of
fucking human garbage yeah yeah this guy and um and and when jeff came in and like noticed and
figured out and separated from the business was genius. And Tim pointed out something interesting. He goes,
you could see the hustle being played again at the end with the Tim Stark guy.
Yeah. He brings him in. Yeah. And he's like, Oh yeah,
I'll set this whole thing up. And then immediately it goes awry. Yeah.
So, so that Tim Stark is the other guy and they're going to build a zoo
together where they're going to move the zoo. Yeah. And Tim's like, yeah,
we're going to do it.
We're going to take our thing together where they're going to move the zoo yeah and tim's like yeah we're going to do it we're going to take our thing together and he's
going to provide this and then tim caught up to it the tim stark guy yeah caught up to it he goes
i'm doing all the building i'm putting all the money i'm providing all the animals he hasn't
done shit i'm out i think he pulled out because he realized the hustle but that's the fucking
hustle yeah he knows that he can do business with tim stark because tim stark is operating
illegally already what you you gonna do?
Rat me out?
Yeah.
You gonna say that I stole your money to the government?
Well, guess what I'll say.
All these animals you're breeding?
Right?
Yeah, 100%.
It's like when you accept money from the mafia
and then they start stealing from you.
Who you go to?
Yeah.
You can't go to nobody.
It's a fact.
I would love to get like an expert.
Maybe we'll have Tim call in and talk to us about this.
But like, I'd love to learn about these con men.
And the balls that they fucking have.
I wonder, what's your hierarchy of shittiness?
On the show?
Okay, what did you go for?
I think Jeff was the shittiest one.
Jeff is Jeff Lowe.
I thought Carol was the shittiest.
Because she positions it as an animal rescue.
And nothing about that seemed any different
than any zoo.
Okay, go.
And so my girl's a big like animal rights person
and a little bit of that is rubbed off.
I feel a little bad for the cats,
but generally speaking, whatever.
I just don't like,
hey, this is a rescue.
Hey guys, come pay money to watch whatever
and then you can look at the animals.
Also, I'm making 25,000 every week on Facebook
and it's a rescue,
but in reality, it's just a zoo zoo and who played their employees the least oh they all their
employees were paid nothing they're volunteers they're volunteers carol paid carol paid the
least that's a cult in itself it is a cult and she looks like a cult bitch and hey there cats
and kittens this is the other thing i was gonna say my girl hops in we gotta start every episode
hey there cats and kittens my girl hops in. That's how we got to start every episode. Hey there, cats and kittens.
My girl hops in like episode six or something.
She's like, what?
Big Cat Rescue.
I know that.
That's where there's this IG girl, Yo Ventura, who's always like petting baby tigers and shit.
And she was like, I think that's where Yo Ventura is always going to pet the tigers.
So your whole fucking point is you shouldn't be allowed to pet these animals.
But there's this IG thought who can just come in and pet them whenever she wants.
So you're doing the same shit, bitch.
Don't think it's different.
And we saw the videos where she used to be a breeder.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was just a failed breeder.
It's like, oh, I don't know how to make this business work.
So let me just go against everybody else.
And to that point, if you noticed, and they had a little snippet of this at the end of the final episode.
You know a lot about people based on their intentions when they start, right?
Like when we all start comedy, we're very pure, right?
And then certain things might get in the middle of it.
Money gets in the way.
Reality kind of gets in the way.
Reality gets in the way, whatever it is.
But when you start, you're actually really pure with comedy with comedy right when joe started there's a little snippet
there's an old black and white footage where he goes he goes you know these animals are only
supposed to be in asia and india and uh you know we got to control breeding and you know
yeah there's a little snippet of him because he started pure right yeah and we'll get to why these people like are drawn
to animals in general but like there was a real purity to him carol started impure impure yeah
yeah and she found a mask for that impurity i think with joe it was almost like the ring
remember lord of the rings like the more you get addicted to the ring the more you turn into yeah and i think that's what happened it's like all of a sudden you got
20 fucking tigers that need ten thousand dollars a month worth of food you got i gotta find a way
to feed these motherfuckers so you do the cub petting and then you do it more and more and
becomes more and more normalized yeah you're making a little money and why not and what's
also interesting is they talk at the end everybody could go
right now
they got information
Joe Exotic is snitching
on everybody
everybody's in trouble
except this bitch
she's the only one
she's fucking
Marlo in the wire
just
you
I'm done
I'm clean
she's
she got
like she's a criminal
like
mastermind
she killed her husband
yeah
do you guys think she killed him
100% killed her husband 100% you's what you guys think she killed 100%
kill her husband you think yeah i think so why no doubt in my mind that she did i mean it's just so
convenient and she benefited so greatly like she had a motive she had like a way to do it and the
will that said upon death or disappearance so that shit was like come on son yeah come on that's what
i was like oh explain that to anybody who's listening right now so you probably explain it
better but in her will essentially uh or the will that she was she was
married to this guy right she was married to this guy married to a multi-millionaire multi-millionaire
many different business ventures uh marriage is falling apart but he was also interested in the
animals first yes right and he liked these exotic animals and then they both started to kind of get
into it together and he saw it as a business with the cub breeding he wanted to do it in costa rica marriage starts to fall apart he starts to get uh concerned he's
like yo this bitch might kill me like i'm actually he starts to tell his try to file a restraining
order he files a restraining threat to kill him and he tells his assistant yeah hey um if anything
happens to me release this yeah right and what was in there? Was it Will and Testament or some shit like that?
Last Rites?
Oh, no, no, no. He goes,
if anything happens to me, release this.
And it was him asking for a restraining
order from his wife that was
denied because you can't give a restraining
order unless there's an actual threat.
She just said, I'm going to kill you.
Saying you're going to kill you is allowed because it's freedom of speech.
You're allowed to say that, right?
I didn't know that.
Oh, son.
Maybe if you watch it, you'd like it.
All of a sudden, you're fascinated.
You sounded like such a girlfriend.
I know.
Fucking neck start coming with.
Okay.
So get in the Claus house.
Here's some chocolate, babe.
Maybe you fucking listened for once. Yeah. Get in the Claus house. Here's some chocolate, babe. So, um...
Maybe you fucking listened for once.
So, uh...
What's it called?
So, um...
Where were we?
The Will.
The Restraining Order,
The Will.
So, The Restraining Order,
everything like that.
The husband,
right before he goes to Costa Rica,
he's about to go to Costa Rica
to do this, like, cub thing
where he wants to, like,
breed these cubs.
Maybe take the whole zoo
and take it down there where it's much more legal.
Or it's just not illegal yet because they don't know about fucking human beings breeding cubs in a brand new country.
So she basically kills him right when he was about to separate her from all his wealth.
She kills him and then there's his fucking will that's in a lockbox in the assistant's office.
The assistant is not
allowed access to her office carol and her fucking lawyer whoever it is are in the office
overnight they remove the wills she goes the next day there is no will there like this is so fucking
blatant that he killed she killed this man how the fuck does she get away and all of a sudden
whereas the assistant had power of attorney that was was a new document saying Carol has my power of attorney.
And power of attorney, explain what that means.
It means I can speak on your behalf whether you're there or not.
If I give you my power of attorney, you can go into my bank account and be like, hey, I have his power of attorney.
Give me all the money.
And what is the new will say?
No, it's not a new will.
Five years after someone's death, you can declare them.
Five years after someone's disappearance, you can declare them dead.
Yeah.
Okay. So five years declare them dead. Yeah. Okay?
So five years and one day.
Yeah.
She says,
I am the beneficiary,
the sole beneficiary
in this will.
She cuts his first family out,
kids out,
wife out,
whatever.
Also in the will,
it said,
upon my death
or disappearance,
all my assets go to.
It doesn't say death.
Really?
It just says disappearance. That's the first line. That doesn't say death. Really? It just says disappearance.
That's the first line.
That's the craziest thing.
Because she could have faked his death or something.
Yes.
But instead she had to fake his disappearance.
What kind of will says, if I disappear, all my assets go to?
Have you ever been worried about disappearing ever in your life?
Never in my life have I been worried about disappearance.
Yeah, you should have seen his reaction to magic earlier.
This guy doesn't care anything about disappearing or reappearing or getting a goddamn card
but seriously it's a specific and absurd thing to say yeah right might disappear like it's so
obviously blatantly her and i think the documentary tries to make it obvious and blatant
yeah and even through that you're like how the fuck has the fbi not investigated this at all the creepiest part is how rehearsed her
like excuses oh yeah remember so they show the clip from like the 90s and she's like yeah the
last thing he said to me was get the truck ready and like the the verb the verbiage is exactly the
same yeah get it ready early early early in the morning. And then she says it on the interview with them.
20 years later.
Yeah, she's like, yeah, he told me he was going to get up early, early, early in the morning.
And the same exact word for word, creepy.
Bro, she's a murderer.
So she decided what her excuse was going to be, decided the verbiage.
And it stuck to it completely.
It's not a memory.
It's a written...
Because memories change.
Yeah.
That's a written dialogue.
Those are the best criminals
your story never changes you can't get caught so that's the other thing they say about like uh uh
criminals right it's like or actually not criminals about innocent people innocent people don't
remember what they're doing when crimes were committed yeah because it was a regular day it's
a regular day they say innocent people are the hardest people to defend. Because if I say, hey, what were you doing last Friday?
And you go.
At 1130 a.m.
I don't know.
If I didn't have a specific thing, I'd be like, I don't know.
So then how the fuck you have an alibi?
Yeah.
How the fuck you have an alibi?
A lot of times it's not even last Friday.
A lot of times it's like, what were you doing Thursday?
Two months ago.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then you got to make some shit up that might not even be accurate.
Do you really think that if I go, two months ago, what did I say to you at 1130?
You're going to be like, oh, you said there'd be that early, early, early.
Yeah.
You're going to remember the exact sentence?
Yeah, she'd kill me.
That's why she's top dog out of all the cops.
Okay, she's number one.
Number two.
Joe.
Joe more than Jeff?
No, Jeff more.
Jeff. Why? But Jeff Jeff more Jeff Why but Jeff
He was like
You knew who he was
He was already a criminal
Like
He just looks like
He wears affliction shirts
Yeah
The fucking hat
With an Oakley hat
He looks like a sketchy motherfucker
What does Joe look normal to you?
Yeah
Joe Exotic looks trustworthy
I was gay
Joe could get it
He wouldn't give it to you
But yeah
I got too many teeth And I'm too tanned If I was gay, Joe could get it. He wouldn't give it to you. But yeah.
I got too many teeth, but I'm too thin.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know, Jeff.
Joe looks more friendly than Jeff. Joe looks more friendly than Jeff.
I like Joe's limp better than Jeff's.
Jeff's walk.
But I'm saying, in terms of trustworthiness,
neither one of them looks like a guy you want to do business with.
Jeff was just fucking people over left and right and left and right and i guess joe was doing that
too maybe jeff just had zero charisma so you're like fuck this guy yeah he had zero charisma
zero that's why it's like he wasn't that good of a con because he so much flavor fucked up in
vegas early yeah like he no jo Joe had this scam going on for years.
So maybe you're right.
Maybe I was,
I was more like
conned by Joe.
So I'm like,
ah,
he's not as bad
because I put him fourth.
Oh wow.
I put it,
Jeff,
then Doc,
then Jeff.
I kind of like Doc.
So I like Doc.
Man,
legend.
So I like Doc.
Okay.
Doc is interesting.
Doc is cold. That's the thing. Cold and polished is interesting. Doc is cold.
That's the thing.
Cold and polished and just...
Cold and polished.
Yo, it's almost like he was the only person that wasn't broken.
Him and Jeff also.
That's another thing.
You could see how Joe was broken early on.
In episode one, Joe says the story, him coming out to his father.
His dad makes him shake his hand in front of his mom to say,
when I die, you will not be at my funeral.
And that guy's broken
from then on.
Most of these people
were broken.
Jeff was not broken.
Doc was not broken.
Carol's just out
of her fucking mind,
I think.
She's broken, dude.
Oh, Carol's broken.
Remember the story?
Yeah.
I mean,
I want to get into that.
Maybe,
no, no,
let's go through the rankings
and then we'll get into that.
But,
Doc was interesting
because doc has done something and i'm curious your take on this but like you often see like
white people grab onto eastern philosophy yeah and then well i mean you see uh you guys do it
too but like use the philosophy as like a manipulation tactic yeah because apparently
it's very effective to people who are empty like eastern philosophy fills fucking empty people up like i remember when
my brother was going through a really hard time he got into osho yeah do you remember that like
i think you and him i didn't know it was osho i remember he was talking to me about hinduism stuff
and i was like yeah okay wow yeah he was osho osho is the guy who had wild wild country it's
another one that i wasn't as into on Netflix the Rajneeshi people
they were all dressing like the reds and pinks
it was out in
what was it
Oregon
it's just vegans in the 70s
but it was a whole cult
that they shut down
it was fucking people
no that's a different one
that was an Indian guy
that was an Indian guy
so
well so was Rajneeshi
yeah
so
so like
he kind of tapped into this shit yo you know what it is
and maybe it happens in india i don't know if it is but like maybe the type of person that comes to
america is willing to do whatever the fuck it takes interesting to win is willing to sacrifice whatever doc was born here and he
did the same thing sure because like i think he's bred within it but like were we having this
discussion i can't remember but um there's something about the people that come here like
all of our parents that decide to come here yeah like they immigrated here um made a choice to
just leave their fucking families and never see them again.
Yeah, we talked about this on the podcast.
We talked about this on the podcast.
So there's a little fucking psychosis going on there, right?
Yeah.
My theory, though,
because I'm watching this
and I'm watching this guy pervert my religion or whatever
and I'm thinking about Wild Wild Country
or whatever it was called
and I'm thinking about this fucking yoga guy
who's doing the hot yoga bickering and
fucking everybody yeah yeah and i'm like why are these people not the manipulators the manipulated
actually getting rejected by everybody that was the saddest part of the bickering documentary
none of these bitches will fuck them it's easier to rape in india i guess usually if you're a cult
leader you go get some pussy right like but girl after girl is like i was like nah that's insane
now i actually want
to watch this documentary this guy's getting rejected like an indian hey we take what we want
but i was wondering why are these people broken people so drawn to this eastern thing and i
the the easiest thing i thought of is it's just unique here you have tried western religions here
probably if you're broken in
america and it didn't take but here's something that shit didn't work here's the opposite this
will work this sounds great i think potentially in india there's people would be taken by a western
philosopher of this and this and this this cult because it's like well i tried the hindu thing
and the muslim thing i'm still i'm still i'm still broken nothing has helped interesting so these this this is so different
it has to work because he was really leaning on this whole shit oh yeah yeah did you feel a little
disgusted it was gross i mean i didn't like maybe another reason i didn't like him i tried to not
make that too big of an issue because like who am i to give that much of a fuck but like i was like
i don't like seeing this like yeah you literally call yourself god that's what we call god is book one
he's crazy that guy's a legend it's like he's just the ultimate pimp
so he really is i'll give him this he was pimping privileged girls. Yes.
It is a very important distinction, right?
Like, Shorty had her dad drive her to the zoo.
Like, if your dad's in your life,
to the point where he's dropping you off at the zoo,
right?
You should be okay a little. You should be good.
Like, I understand if you're on the fucking
like uh on a stoop or you're on the bus store corner and they're getting picked up by joe that's
you have nothing left and that's what but this guy is taking privileged white girls pretty much
who are attractive and in good shape and then brainwashing them with this yoga shit yeah mixed
with i guess being around these tigers is somewhat addictive.
That's what somebody said.
They said somebody mentioned that.
You can tell everybody.
Once you get one in your head, it's like, oh, my God.
It's a tattoo.
I need more.
I need more.
And giving these people who are kind of bored purpose.
I often notice cult people, the attractive white privileged girls that end up in cults,
are just kind of bored with life.
Yeah.
And remember when the girl kept saying, you just work all day.
Yeah.
Well, you can't be bored with life if I keep your ass busy.
For $100 a week.
Yeah, giving them purpose, right?
And it's the truest purpose in a lot of ways.
Like if we don't feed these tigers, they'll die.
Yeah.
You're nurturing it.
It taps into like your need to nurture and all that shit.
You're a mother.
Yeah.
Can I ask you a question about white families?
Yes, please.
This father drops her off.
Yeah.
What was his advice?
Don't fall in love with him.
No, no.
Don't fuck your boss, right?
Or was it don't fall in love with your boss?
I think it was don't fall in love.
Fuck your boss.
I think it was don't fall in love.
Probably fall in love.
I think it was don't fall in love with your boss.
Okay.
But then she says like,
basically she makes it seem like you're trapped.
And I believe that as she was talking.
And just now she's like, you know, you can't really get off.
You don't have time.
There's nobody to talk to.
Yeah, yeah.
Was it so normal to your dad that you didn't call for six months?
That he was just like, ah, she's probably having fun.
Like, if you didn't hear from your daughter, you dropped off.
This is why white girls fucked a Me Too movement up.
It's because they don't understand what real rape is you know what i mean like it's like the fact is
this is my premise on inside jokes that we edited because we were like it's too much well now i get
it after watching it's like this girl like this girl exact words go find the footage we deleted
this girl was thought this was a real, like, I was punished.
I was, like, manipulated.
I had to be here.
It's like, I don't know how I could leave.
What about when all those people drove up in cars every single day with their families?
Did you ever think about saying to one of them, could I have a ride out of here?
And then she had this justification for it.
She's like, what'd she it. She's like, um,
what'd she say?
She's like,
well,
I mean,
no cult forces you to stay.
Okay,
bitch.
Then we shouldn't feel bad for them either.
She's talking about all her social ties.
I was like,
what social ties?
She was like,
they don't force you to stay.
Bitch.
Yeah.
She's like,
they don't force you to stay.
They just make you sever all your social ties.
No,
there's just a million social ties to keep you there.
And I was like,
that thought crossed my mind And I was like...
That thought crossed my mind.
I was like, bitch, you just got there.
What, is you an Italian chick and an elephant?
Like, that's your social circle?
You fucking idiot.
You went Babar, bitch?
Just beat it.
What the fuck are you waiting for?
Your dad's at home waiting for you.
He'll pick you up in the civics.
Also, if you ever had, like, like a real social life you wouldn't be here
it's like you never had social ties like that's why you ended up that's why i mean so much to her
this is our only social tie ah so she first got her first social tie yeah maybe that's what it is
i mean i just did not feel bad at all and you got new titties bitch did the first the fact that like
you got new titties did you get them taken out immediately afterwards? No.
Son, I'm telling you, this guy's a legend.
This guy's a legend, son.
I don't know, dude.
He's like Drake.
Drake Antle.
He's like Drake to the animal world.
I'm going to get you a new body.
I'm going to hide you out over here.
Nobody's going to hear from you again.
Thank you.
Wait, what were you saying?
No, but I just think like privileged animal girls
are a different thing in general.
Like, I don't know, growing up,
there was all these like horse girls
that lived around like where I live.
Like, do you know that this prototype
of like a horse girl, does that make sense to you?
No.
Like an equestrian bitch.
Yeah, basically, yeah.
So it's like, they're just these girls
that are like obsessed with horses and like these horses become their identity and every single one of them without
fail it's a little weird they're a little bit off yeah and i don't know exactly what the comments
i don't know what it is i assume every girl that was in that documentary has had sexual trauma
and i assume every single guy that was in that documentary has either had sexual trauma or is
a drug addict.
I also think, and I'm going to say this and probably people listening will be pissed off.
If you like animals too much, you've had that.
You've either been.
You know what my next sentence is going to be?
Shots me thinking a lot of girls are molested.
I'm going to be honest with you. You feel?
You're like, yo, this bitch got a fucking gazpacho soup.
Who likes a cold soup?
This molested ass bitch.
I'm so glad you opened that.
Low key, bro.
Low key, bro.
If you go to the restaurant and you go,
can I have some gazpacho? I'm looking at you
like, oh, you've been fingered at a young
bitch.
That's an odd
thing, dude. I'm so glad you opened
that window because that's really how I look at
Every person who's weird
I was like oh you might have a ditto
I look at everybody like
I think you might have got ditto
Yo I was bro
By the girl at the pizza store
When I was managing the pizza restaurant at 13
And the girl would sit on my lap
And get my dick all hard
What's that?
That's white molestation.
You think that's molestation?
But here's the thing.
I'm not in a whole documentary about fucking cats about it.
I'm dealt with my molestation like a fucking man.
Well, you didn't get diddled a ton.
You got diddled only a little.
I didn't even get diddled.
I got backed up on.
Yeah, you got over the pants backed up.
Over the pants backed up.
By my boy Sandro's older sister.
Shout out to her.
Gave me some of my best boners.
To this day,
I'm trying to get boners
like that.
To this day.
But it didn't make me
like animals no more.
That's why I wasn't
a good molester.
If you know you got
a good molester.
Yo, that's true.
Think about that.
You get fucked over so bad
by humans
that all of a sudden
the only place that gives you
unconditional love and affection
is animals.
Bro, were we talking about it? Was it on? Yo, okay love and affection is animals. Bro, were we talking about it?
Was it on?
Yo, okay.
I can accept that.
No, we were talking about this.
The cats don't judge you.
That's why strippers and shit always love.
Go to any OnlyFans girl.
Okay?
Go to any OnlyFans.
Go to her page and look what her fucking issue is.
It's always getting fired.
I believe you there.
It's always animals.
Animal rights.
You be taking it mad far though.
What are you talking about? If you like animals, I'm going to be honest. I believe you there. It's always animals. Animal rights. But you be taking it mad far, though. What are you talking about?
If you like animals, I'm going to be honest, I think you got my list.
Yes.
Can I remove think?
When I say like animals.
No, but you got to like them, like the obsessive, like not just like, oh, let me get a pet.
If you just got a pet.
I need to double check with Schultz.
Can I be honest with you, though?
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. You need to double check with Schultz. Can I be honest with you? That's what I'm saying.
You got to double check with Schultz.
All right.
He got a dog.
Can I ask you different animals?
Has this motherfucker been molested?
You don't think he went his whole life without getting a little dick when he was younger?
I'm too cute, honestly.
I'm too cute to not fuck.
I don't even blame the molester.
He had taste.
Can I ask you animals?
That's the Indian me too.
I had it coming.
Somebody's going to get the touch room back.
Okay, go, Marcos.
I want to ask you animals.
You tell me how much molesting you think they got to get there, okay?
Okay, go.
So let's say you own a horse and you ride horses all day.
What happened to you? I think there's wealth in that identity that
was daddy that's rich molested you got molested by dad daddy okay but here's the connection with
the horse you gotta get the pony to make up for them you thought my dick was big then it don't seem so traumatic now okay what about what about like a like a big dog you
get like a great dane what happened to you then i think now great dane is weird great dane is a
specific taste i think if you get a protector dog that you're really close with like pitbull that
kind of shit yeah i think there's something there again, it's the relationship with the dog.
Like I think some girls, like I think some white girls get a Pitbull in the same way
they wear like Air Force Ones.
Like they're trying to like tap into like this kind of street identity.
Broad City, they got Pitbulls.
Of course.
Probably.
Exactly.
I'm assuming.
Exactly, right?
So it's like, oh, this is cool.
This is cool that I'm wearing this sneaker that really wasn't designed for me, but I'm
tapping into this kind of cool urban identity.
I'm talking about the love of the animal.
What if you got a hamster?
What happened to you?
I don't think it's possible to care about a hamster,
but if you do care about a hamster, something is really off.
I actually agree with you on that one.
What did you have?
You got a pinky finger?
Oh, like the amount that you did.
He wants to know what the molestation was.
He wants to take it to scale.
Take it to scale?
He wants to scale it up.
And again, it's not about the pet you have.
It's the relationship with the pet.
You love your hamster.
Say again?
If you have a hamster, it has to be a woman.
What do you mean?
You got molested by a woman.
Oh.
Ooh.
That's a couple licks.
Let me think.
Did I ever want a hamster or anything like that?
You might have, dude. Nah, but a girl got molested by a woman. Did I ever want a hamster or anything like that?
You might have, dude.
Nah, but a girl got molested by one. You didn't get molested, yo.
You had a great time at 13, baby.
You got a lap dance, bro.
Hey, man, don't play down my trauma or whatever that is.
You know what I mean?
Like a victim is a victim.
I'm out here, bro.
Bro, you got a lap dance, dude.
You got molested.
Believe all Schultz's.
That girl's trying to act like she didn't feel my dick.
You saw that little saliva come out of me, dog?
You know what I mean?
I could have complained about getting a lap dance, dude.
Bro, she's the only person that would go to a strip club and be like, bro, these strippers molested me last night.
They was molesting me, dog.
Oh, this hooker raped me, dog.
I paid her $300.
The bitch just raped me.
She just raped me, dog. I paid her $300 the bitch just raped me
Imagine I called that rape
Imagine I was like guys rape culture like y'all be I shut the fuck up
Dude when you see you preaching the choir yo, I know bro, You don't believe in me. I just don't even believe in it.
Hey, it's a billion of us, all right?
Proof is in the pudding, guys.
Listen.
Like, is that how y'all say pudding?
We get results, yo.
We get results.
He's like, it's not rape.
It's just a kink.
It's just what?
It's just a kink?
A kink?
It's a fetish.
The tiger kink, bro? The tiger kink. Okay. No it's just a kink a kink fetish the tiger kink
okay no in all seriousness let's let's talk about this
a weird relationship with an animal comes from something being empty you know yes there's
something weird you know you're taking advantage of the animal the same way that joe is taking
advantage of those if your closest relationships are to like buy like multiple animals and not any humans like
something's going on there something's traumatic right because on some level you are doing to the
animal what joe did to travis yeah right like joe said travis you can't leave yeah the the zoo
you can't do anything and hey i'm gonna feed and I'm going to fill you with things that make you feel good.
Like you give your dog biscuits.
You give your dog food.
You rub your dog down, et cetera.
You kiss your dog.
The dog is not into humans.
It's into dogs.
Right.
And Travis wasn't into guys.
He was into girls.
But he needed to do whatever he could do to make sure he was fed.
Yeah.
I do feel like you're kind of taking advantage of your fucking dog, man.
Yeah, no, you're not wrong.
It's a weird relationship.
That's why.
You're not wrong.
I had a relationship.
I had a dog.
Yeah.
So you did get molested.
No, I had a dog, but I wasn't into it like that.
I was like, man, come on, bro.
Jules don't like people who are not self-sufficient.
He can't handle things that aren't self-sufficient.
Yo, that's a great...
Figure it out, yo.
I love how sufficiently selfed my girl is, bro.
Yeah.
I remember you had a cat for a little bit,
and you were like, yo, this cat is the best,
takes care of himself.
My cats aren't horrible, dude.
They're just cold, fucking awful animals.
Yeah, but then what'd I do to that cat?
No, what'd you do?
It was legit the worst cat I've ever met in my life.
It was a bad cat.
It was so clear it was Andrew's cat. It was the worst cat I've ever met in my life. It was a bad cat. It was so clear it was Andrew's cat.
It was the biggest asshole you've ever met in your life.
Yeah.
That cat has been given away multiple times.
It was given to my girl at the time.
Yeah.
My girl and I lived together.
My girl moves to California.
My ex moves to California.
I kept it just on some petty shit.
Biggest mistake you've ever made. Huge mistake. Biggest mistake you've ever made in your life. on some petty shit biggest mistake you ever made
huge mistake
biggest mistake you ever made
in your life
it was the biggest mistake
I've ever made in my life
it was just petty
she kept saying
she was gonna pick up the cat
and never picked up the cat
and I was like
the cat's mine bitch
now I got this stupid ass cat
right
okay
I move out
I get my place
I give it to my brother
this shit is like
sisterhood
it's a trap in my pants
bro
except it makes everybody's life worse it's really done I give it to my brother. This shit is like sisterhood is a trap in my pants, bro. Except it makes everybody's life worse.
It's really tough.
I give it to my brother, right?
My brother and his girl got the cat.
My brother and his girl break up.
She dumbly takes the fucking cat.
And me and the rest of my family is like, whoo!
This is what an asshole this cat was.
I remember I stayed at Andrew's place once.
And at the time, he didn't have a bathroom door.
It was like broken or something.
If you're pissing, the cat would run into the jump into the shower and then leap at the curtain just to scare you while you're dead ass multiple times he did it
to the point where it didn't even scare me anymore i was like i know what's coming motherfucker bro
when i was watching tiger king and doc ansel was talking about cremating the fucking cats, I was like, hmm. I wish.
Y'all never had this cat.
It was a fucking terrorist, this thing.
So why don't you just keep the shower curtain open?
I didn't think
about keeping the fucking shower curtain open.
Who thinks about pissing and then finding a
fucking solution? But if it keeps doing that, just keep
the shower curtain open. He's still gonna be an asshole
somehow. He's gonna find a way. Then you turn him
beyond that motherfucker. You're like, yeah, try that again.
Well, you gotta pet it.
But it wouldn't even let you pet it. It was a
piece of shit, cat. It's truly the worst
animal I've ever seen in my life. It was a bat. It was a bat.
It was a bat, cat.
Okay, here's my question. Why is it wrong
to euthanize a cat?
A big cat. A tiger.
Like, if you can kill a horse when it hurts its fucking ankle in a race, why can't you justize a cat or a big cat, a tiger? Like, if you can kill a horse
when it hurts its fucking ankle in a race,
why can't you just kill a cat?
They're endangered.
Yeah, but you keep making more of them.
One of the guys said the best thing.
Say again?
Illegally, they're...
But they're also,
if they're born and raised in captivity,
that's not the same as...
You gotta, like,
to get the numbers up in the wild
is what matters.
So you gotta, like, get the numbers
or, like, make it to where they can go out into the wild. Do we really want up in the wild is what matters. So you got to get the numbers or make it to where they can go out into the wild.
Do we really want them in the wild?
I was asking myself that question.
Have we asked the people that have to live in the wild if it's not a little bit better without tigers everywhere?
I was asking myself that question.
Yeah, New York has no tigers.
And it's the best wild.
It's very easy for us to want tigers in the world.
There was this guy on Rogan, Jamie Metzl, he had a good point.
People nowadays talk about all the time, it's like, I just love nature. in the world. There was this guy on Rogan, Jamie Metzl, he had a good point. Like, people nowadays
talk about all the time,
it's like,
oh,
I just love nature.
And he goes,
yeah,
because we killed
all the animals
that made nature suck.
Right?
You think the Aborigines
running around Australia
were like,
I love nature.
No.
Like,
no,
you're getting kicked
in the face
by kangaroos all day.
Yeah,
you don't want that.
Nature's blue.
Yeah.
And then we murdered
everything in nature
and it got way better.
And if we start infusing these tigers and lions and shit back into nature, it could
get bad again.
You know what you love about nature?
It's peaceful.
Keep going on this.
You know when nature ain't peaceful?
When there's fucking lions and tigers and God knows what other animal coming at you.
Do caribous ever look at peace?
These idiots bouncing around all the fucking time.
They got to evade.
Deer can't even drink water without shooting its fucking face up they have to drink at the fucking edge of the water because
either crocodiles or lions or these types of people are gonna come get them it is a horrible
life a deer they die by getting eaten like there's no deer that dies old age yeah that's true like
if you're a deer you either get shot in the face by a hunter or you get eaten alive by a bear or some shit.
That's your whole life. You are raised
and you tell your kids, yeah, we get eaten.
That's what we do.
Fuck!
That's like a justification for hunters.
They're like, well, either I'll shoot it and let it die immediately
or I'll let it get eaten alive.
Legal hunting is actually good for population control
and all that. It's good for the ecosystem.
But we won't do that with people.
China will?
They won't allow hunting.
China's doing it right now, son.
But they're not hunting the people.
That would be fucking fun.
Son, you are.
No, I'm just saying,
they're very densely populated places.
Just in terms of...
Instead of China.
Yeah.
Just in terms of entertainment,
what would be more fun to hunt?
A human or an elk?
Human seems easy.
Yeah, it'd be too easy.
Honestly, dude,
I don't think hunting would be that difficult
for human beings at all.
To hunt a human?
Yeah.
Especially in India?
It's very easy to kill, yeah.
Because we don't hear as good as...
And you go after the calves.
You go after the young.
You don't get the full grown ones.
You go after the ones singing on the street.
What?
Nah, but you don't shoot a baby deer.
You don't put a fucking baby deer head on your wall.
It's got to be a fucking 10-point buck, like a big-ass joint.
You got to take down a shack.
Yeah.
Take down wax, yo.
Dude, taking down shack?
Shack's head on your wall like this?
Crooked-ass eyes. That big old hog on your wall like this? Crooked ass eyes?
With that big old hog on your wall.
Would you taxidermy him like the genie?
That's what I would do.
You'd make him?
Make him Shazam?
Yeah, exactly.
Okay, so then thoughts about,
any final thoughts about the Tiger King?
Who are the best people, do you think?
Lauren, Jeff's girlfriend.
She brainwashed too
what a fucking retard
she might have been
the stupidest girl
she's a fucking idiot
I mean
legend
she just likes
everybody that got pussy
that's the only one
brainwashed woman
in 11
and he's like
yo I love this
son
legend
no best people in it
the one armed
Native American chick
she looked great
if you didn't have limbs
you were great in this that's my that's my litmus she was the best human being yo real talk so this girl
loses her arm by getting bit by a tiger yeah gets ripped off goes to fucking the hospital
the whole news comes around and then she goes nah fuck you guys i'm going back to work seven
days later i want you to know right now go go's important. Go, go. If I lose my arm somehow on the job,
a camera falls on my shit,
I'm suing you for everything you have.
I'm not.
I'm not.
Thank you, bro.
I'm not.
I'm not going back to work seven days later
for Joe Exotic?
You almost lost your ear,
and that was your fault.
I know.
Okay, so you're a dumbass
probably fucked your arm up in the first place.
Here's the thing about that girl.
She didn't have to lose her arm.
Yeah, they said two and a half years of reconstructive surgery, right?
Exactly.
Or we could amputate it.
And she was like, cut it off.
Cut it off because they're going to politicize me not being at the zoo to take down the zoo and take down the animals.
So I got to be in there a week later to show I still support this.
Who's the dumb motherfucker
who had bad legs and just kept
walking on them until they had to cut them off?
I didn't understand that at all.
What the fuck was that about? But he was
fascinating that character with the no legs because
he was highest IQ.
Also,
no.
Campaign guy was
great too. No legs,. Or the campaign guy. Also, no. Oh, no. Campaign guy was great, too. Yeah, yeah.
No legs, great teeth.
This guy had fucking perfect teeth and no legs.
I mean, it's easier for him.
He's got less stuff to look after.
You're not clipping your nails.
You're not going to wash his feet.
But in Oklahoma, teeth don't seem to matter.
So, like.
I think those are fake.
I think he had fake teeth.
Because they were flawless.
Also, he's ex-military, right?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So, I think there was something there.
But maybe he got something like sort of stipend or some shit.
Who knows?
Or maybe he's getting military benefits because he had enough money to buy a Hummer and everybody
else was getting $100 a day.
Even at the end of the movie, he's in this badass car, he's whipping around.
Yeah, like he must have been getting paid more.
But he was an interesting guy, man.
He was sharp and he had interesting perspective.
I was really curious about him.
And they didn't talk to him at all, remember?
He was like, I ran the park for 10 years.
Why would the prosecutors not talk to me?
Why do you think they avoided him?
Wow, he's too reasonable.
Maybe he would have said good things about Joe,
and if you're a prosecutor, you're trying to prosecute.
Yeah, so you don't want to get anybody in there.
He basically was like, I know he did some things wrong,
but I don't think he was behind the plot to kill or whatever.
And he was going to ride for him, bro.
He had a bullet with his name on it.
They were going to ride for each other.
You remember that part?
That was him.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
They were like,
if any shit happens,
we're going to kill each other.
Yeah, that's wild.
Wait, what?
You don't remember this?
That's loyalty.
No.
Maybe if you listened, Andrew.
Yeah, if you listened.
Yeah. If you paid attention. Andrew. Yeah, if you listened. Yeah.
If you paid attention.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, babe.
People were thinking about getting lap dances from girls when you were 13 all the time.
Man, she was doing it, bro.
Boy, it was hard, bro.
No, he was like, if anything happens in the zoo, we're going to kill each other, and here's
a bullet with my name on it and a bullet with Joe's name on it.
Because he was aware of all the fuck shit that was going on.
If Carol tries to take us down, if whatever happens, we have a suicide pact.
We ride together, we die together.
They have a suicide pact.
But the dumbest thing about that is that both bullets were in his gun.
He's like, I shot you, Joe.
Now shoot me.
I'm like, all right.
What happens after the first shot?
Also, aren't there What happens after the first shot, son?
Also, aren't there six bullets in the chambers?
How do you know which, you know what I mean?
It was just a symbolic thing, I think.
He's one of the smartest motherfuckers, bro.
Son.
I think the most fascinating thing I took away from this was that Joe wasn't from Florida.
Because he's real Floridian.
I was shocked his thing was in Oklahoma. I was shocked he wasn't from Florida. The thing was in Oklahoma.
The farm was in Oklahoma. It blew my mind.
And how far is Oklahoma from Florida?
Halfway across the country, right?
One state up in Texas, and Texas is far from Florida.
That's a hike.
The moment he started talking, I sensed he was gay,
and I was like, oh, he's gay, and he's from Florida.
And I was shocked that I was wrong on that one.
Yeah.
Yeah, now I'm thinking about this fucking And I was like, oh, he's gay and he's from Florida. And I was shocked that I was wrong on that one. Yeah. Not on the gay one.
Yeah, now I'm thinking about this fucking, that guy in the pact.
Maybe that's how Joe manipulates.
I don't think that they gave Joe enough credit with his manipulation skill.
Because, or they just wanted to make him seem reasonably likable.
But I think he was like a master manipulator, next level manipulator.
And I think that bullet shit was just part of it.
Yo, we're in this together, right?
Hey, we love each other, right?
We'll do anything for each other.
I would kill myself for you.
You can't fuck me over.
I would kill myself for you.
And that's why he got so tricked when Jeff was like, here's $35,000.
Fuck you, bitch.
Remember it?
Because somebody was playing him.
Doing the same thing he did to other people.
But you would think he'd be aware of it, right?
And you think that somebody like Joe would understand who Jeff was.
Because Jeff has to be known by these other characters.
He was too desperate at that point.
And nothing about what I think it is, bro.
I think that Jeff and then the other dude were working for the feds for a
minute.
I think that they are like,
you know how like Whitey Bulger was able to do his criminal shit,
even though he was an informant.
Yeah.
I think that's kind of how this operate.
I think Jeff was in with the feds and I think the other dude were in with
the feds and the feds are basically like,
yo,
go do your shit. But if we need to lean on you for something we're gonna lean on you for something
because i think jeff i think he wanted to kill carol the whole time what's what's his face joe
but i don't think he was actually gonna go through with it and i think jeff was like now we could get
this done because he hated carol before but the reason why i don't think that because he was
surprised when he went to the bank
And the teller told him
Oh yeah there was some feds that were asking questions
And then he goes back to Joe
He's like yo what the fuck
He looked through the books
And now he was worried that he was going to get caught up by the feds
And he's like I already got a felony
I can't get another felony
Or the feds go to him and they say
Hey do you think if he runs for governor
He'll use some money from the park?
Well, that's the only money he's got.
Alright, let him do it.
Well, then he's a good actor.
He was very surprised. Because Jeff got to keep
the scent off of the trail, right?
He just looks so dumb. I can't understand
why you would think he's rich. I think he's a survivalist.
And if you're a con man, you could con.
And the guy's a con man. That's what he does for a living. He tricks
motherfuckers. But you don't have to be that smart to're a con man, you could con. And the guy's a con man. That's what he does for a living. He tricks motherfuckers.
But you don't have to be that smart to be a con man, though.
That's just like,
you just have to find
the one thing.
You gotta find the mark.
Just the one thing
and every person who's like,
Someone's gotta be more desperate
than you are intelligent.
Yeah, that's it.
And it's also a specific
type of person.
Like, we talked about
pickup artists
and you read that book.
They weren't going
after every girl.
They went after,
they would work with
a specific type of girl
that's kind of broken.
And it's just,
this whole thing is just broken people
exploiting broken people.
Yeah.
No, I know that wasn't the idea with the book at all.
I'm pretty sure that was like.
Did you read it?
Yeah.
It was just like,
you're basically going after girls.
Why did you say that book you read to me?
The book you told me about
is what I meant to say in my bed.
No, the book you practiced.
So the idea with the book was not,
the idea with the book was to make every girl feel broken,
not go after broken girls.
But it worked.
Like if a girl felt super validated,
if you're like, oh, those shoes look comfortable.
Oh, my gosh.
You think that they feel validated.
That's adorable.
I'm pretty sure he mentions that in the book.
That was something I remember picking up is being like,
but anyway, the point is,
this is broken people exploiting broken people.
Joe's broken. His dad broke him. that's why he felt drawn to animals in florida because it's like oh here's love i've never gotten this is great whatever oh joe spent time in florida yeah
yeah and then he fled back so you were right he fled back to pensacola at the end yeah i'm good
yeah you know who's his most fascinating character that they barely touch upon? The Cuban guy.
I want to see one on him.
Only him.
Which guy?
The guy who was the closest friends with Doc Antle, who was like a drug dealer.
He was a Cuban drug dealer who they basically made Scarface after, who stopped dealing drugs.
He did his time.
He beats the—I guess he wins the appeal, does 12 years, comes out, clearly has all his drug money,
and now he's just an exotic animal collector with a private zoo
that he doesn't allow people to go to.
In Miami, just hanging out.
Burning $10,000 per cat.
Yeah.
A month.
I mean...
With no money coming in.
With no money coming in.
That's how much money he made off of the drug shit.
And what a way better story.
What's the movie?
Scarface would have been if you just kept it going.
Like, fuck, say hello to my little friend.
Show him your little friends.
Like, look at all these little friends that you have.
These snakes full of cocaine.
Just fucking swimming around.
Oh, yeah, that was dope.
At the end, they stuffed the cocaine in the snakes.
In the snakes, cut the snakes right the fuck open.
That's fucking dope.
Genius.
Wild. It's wild. Do you think he's the snakes right the fuck open. That's fucking dope. Genius. You're wild.
It's wild.
You think he's still doing it and that's how he's...
Yeah.
That's probably why we didn't hear more of his story.
Yeah.
But why...
If you're still doing it, you're not going to let them in.
No, because Doc...
Drug deals are brazen.
They love showing up.
They need that shine.
They need to be known.
Doc calls them up and says,
Hey, Mario, these guys are making a documentary.
They're really cool.
It's for Netflix.
Come let them hang out. So you make the place look nice and disney world it and they come in and check
it out and that's it did you notice how much the director hated doc antle you know they left it on
little parts explain that so it's like so doc's outside he's like all right so i'll just like open
up the door and you guys can just come in and uh like say what's up and then they're walking out
they're like i like the doc is directing us like they got on some petty shit on
doc and they did like three more times basically before they play press play on the camera every
single scene they left in what doc would say before and before you start recording you're an
asshole yeah everybody's an asshole before we start i can be like yo are we ready to go what
if you kept in are you ready to go? What if you kept in,
are you ready to go?
I'm going to do that one.
Before every single episode.
But it was every single scene and the director fucking hated him
and you know he's sitting in the edit
like, how can I make this scumbag?
Can we talk about the director
for a second though?
Like, I think he started
to get wrapped up in that world.
I think he started to like that world.
So there's two.
You're talking about Kirkman or the actual director of the documentary? Oh, there's two, so maybe that world. I think he started to like that world. So there's two. You're talking about Kirkman
or the actual director of the documentary?
Oh, there's two,
so maybe that's why I missed out.
The old man that looked like a detective?
Yeah, the one that we kept talking to
that we would see in the old videos.
Wait, which one is that?
This is Rick Kirkman,
where he's like,
Yeah, the reality show.
You're talking about the reality show.
Yeah, that guy, that guy.
Yeah, he also like,
Yeah, he got in it.
Where does he get his money from?
He's a broken con artist too what
well we were in talks with networks to sell this yeah you ain't talking to fucking nobody then all
of a sudden joe is like this sad guy he's like you can't take my life he's like well actually i own
all the footage and i own your web show and i own everything you've ever done so it's like what the
fuck yeah what's wrong with this guy everybody who's conning everybody It is white trash
Game of Thrones son
That's all it is
How did they make this doc
Because he kept some of it
Because he burned the shit down
Whoa
You think it wasn't Joe
You think it was Kirkman
I think it was Joe
You think it was Joe
It makes it seem like it was Joe
He's like ah let me go away
When this happens
Who benefits the most
From it burning down Joe Probably Joe? It may seem like it was Joe. He's like, oh, let me go away when this happens. Who benefits the most from it burning down?
Joe.
Probably Joe.
Probably Joe.
Yeah.
Unless Kirkman is like super in debt and he needs to recoup the money for the equipment
or something like that.
Aren't you a retard to not back it up though?
For months, he got months of footage.
There's no way he didn't back it up.
Nah.
That's why he has so much footage.
The amount that they were shooting.
Son, literally while we're Shooting this right now I texted
I texted Alex
To put on the camera
So we have a backup for this
Yeah but this is
You're talking about
20 years ago
This is like
No
It's not necessarily film
But it's like
This was like 5 years ago
Yeah
I thought
Nah when they first started
They started like
7 years ago
7 right
Early 2000
I think they say seven years ago.
You sure?
When he first started recording?
I think so.
They dig up footage from 2004.
She married her second husband in 2004, the Cuck.
Yeah.
Carol's Cuck husband.
Dude, what a simp, dude.
Dude, I fucking know.
I thought he was riding with him during that time.
Oh, yeah.
He's a simp, but low-key, he's not.
Bro, he's a simp.
Nah, he's riding this way.
So you see his pants height, and you're like, oh, this he's a simp Nah that Nah he's riding his weight So you see
His pants
Height
And you're like
Oh this guy's a nerd
And you see the way
He dresses on that kind of shit
You saw him on their wedding
Where he's wearing a fucking
You see the picture
Where he's on his knees
And she got him on a fucking leash
He's dressed like
Barney Rubble
Yes because she got the money
From the ex-husband
Exactly
He's just marrying rich right now
He's like
I'm gonna do what you want
Yo son is exploiting her
That's the thing.
Yo, that's a great.
This is a great documentary about exploitation.
This guy was some fucking nerd, right, who came up on some girl who was needy, needed love, and needed a simp.
Someone she could feel safe with.
You think she's going to feel safe with an alpha?
She killed the last alpha, right?
She'll get left.
She needs someone that relies on her.
Someone that needs her for every single thing.
She needs a cat.
He used being a simp to his advantage, but he's a simp though.
Are you a simp if you're using it
to your advantage?
You're a smart simp, bro.
It's like Michael Cera.
He's like a simp, but he's like,
oh, it's popping now to be a simp.
Alright, I'm going to run with this simp shit.
But he's like through and through a simp.
I don't know, man.
Like a simp simp
would have gotten scared when there
was some death threats and like peaced out.
That motherfucker rode through the death
threats, collected the money
like Jon Snow.
He was a bit of a simp. What kind of
life is this?
Jon Snow was a simp.
Nah, nah, nah. I can't put up with that.
He was just letting Daenerys just like tell him everything, like what to do.
But then he had a brain of his own.
He killed the bitch.
What you talking about?
That's what I'm saying.
So he was a smart simp at the end.
Watch this simp motherfucker.
Watch Carol go show up missing soon.
Watch.
What kind of life is that?
I bet you the will's gonna be in his name.
The bitch got cats all over the house.
The whole fucking thing is cat furniture.
That's the life he wants?
Son, all he's seeing
is 23,000 coming in
from Facebook.
What's he doing with the money?
Buying cargo shorts?
Watch when the bitch
comes out.
Bro, he looks like
he works at Minigolf, dude.
What's he doing
with these millions of dollars?
It's hard money.
Watch.
Watch and see, bro.
Watch and see.
This is going to be a part two.
This motherfucker's
going to come in a Ferrari.
I guess we'll watch. His Sperry top-sider collection is stupid. Dude, he's killing it, bro. It's going to be a part two. This motherfucker's got to come with a Ferrari. I guess we'll watch.
His Sperry Top Sider collection is stupid.
Dude, he's killing it, bro.
The talk shoes.
My man was legit and never phased the entire time.
Cool, calm, collected.
Yeah.
He's trying to work out the deal.
He's like, yo, deal with me.
Don't worry about her.
We can work it out.
Yo, you don't realize he's the biggest pimp of all?
This dude got no...
He's killing it.
He got nothing to do with the beef like he is nothing
he don't get about cats he just wanted to smoke he wanted to smoke that's the most alpha thing
and then he sings to her at the end after he wins the day sang to her like a simp like a simps don't
sing serenade this bitch serenaded this bitch i want. He serenaded this bitch. I want to know what's going to happen with these millions of dollars
because right now
he ain't spending none of it.
Who?
The Simp.
But you know.
You don't know that.
I look at the motherfucker.
I did look at him.
Guy look like Rick Moranis
and you can tell me
he's fucking out here
making money.
Guy look like Egon
from Ghostbusters
and you can tell me
he out here
spending all this money.
Millions of dollars.
He's a legend.
Fucking lens crafters glasses. He's a legend. his money. Bro. Millions of dollars. He's a legend, bro. Fucking lens crafters glasses.
He's a legend.
All right, guys.
This has been another episode of Flagrant 2, man.
Hopefully we gave you guys some distraction, some drama, some intrigue.
Gave you a nice little look into the Tiger King and the world in which he lives.
We love y'all we
appreciate y'all we'll see you guys on the patreon this friday shout out to all the new patrons that
just signed up yo you guys for the roast great idea al oh yeah i'm glad you guys like the roast
man we're gonna keep it up we're gonna keep shit interesting over there on the patreon
um so we'll cook up something fun for you guys this friday and uh stay tuned to twitch we might
have that coming soon.
Oh, yo, we're probably going to get a little Twitch going.
We're going to make sure you guys are thoroughly distracted during this quarantine, man.
That's on us to do that.
So peace, love, and...
Bye.